#oh yeah i think if you call undyne at the inn she says something about staying there

[a-snow-decahedron]

Green Couch

Undertober2021: smells like bones

Summary: Undyne tried to sleep well, emphasis on "tried".

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Undyne was not the most responsible with fire.

Well, that was an understatement. She had managed to burn her house after a cooking lesson with Papyrus, and not for the first time. After the skeleton apologized repeatedly, he offered her to sleep in his house in Snowdin. She nodded along.

Surely nothing could go wrong.

She rested her head on one of her arms, shifting constantly, trying to find a comfortable position. The green couch at the skeleton's brother's house looked old and worn with years. Its green hue was dull, probably a less vibrant shade than its good days, while the cushions felt flat, barely serving as a comfortable surface.

She checked the time: 10:34

She groaned, she had to get up in 8 hours.

A door upstairs opened.

"Good night, bro." Sans slippers were heard as he walked to his room and shut the door.

It seems like everyone was finally going to bed. She tried to relax. As she was about to lose conciousness a gleeful exclamation came from the left door upstairs.

"Oh ho! This must be the perfect strategy! I must write it down and try it out tomorrow! This puzzle will surely impress everyone."

A sudden thud was heard, and the sound of summoned bullets. Undyne sat quickly, ready to intervene.

"Curses! I guess the moving spikes will not be implemented. Away it goes!"

With the possible crisis averted, Undyne laid on the couch again, pressing her face against the armrest. She felt the smell of bones emanating from the old furniture. She turned around, once again making an attempt to get rest.

The loud sound of a potato chips bag woke her up again. Light was coming from the kitchen. Papyrus's brother was leaning against the fridge, pouring copious amounts of ketchup into the bag.

"Dude how the hell are you eating that?"

"Not my fault your taste isn't as refined."

"You don't have a tongue!"

"Nope, wanna taste for me?"

"Never!"

The skeleton took a spoon from a counter, and put it in the bag.

Undyne closed her eyes in disgust. She would not see any other second of it.

She opened her eyes again. Sans was gone.

The kitchen light was on.

Undyne walked to the switch, and as she walked back, she checked the time.

11:21

Two other snacks and one internet troll message later she chekced the time again.

12:42

1:27

3:15

.

.

.

The next time she burnt her house, she stayed at the Inn.

[undertalethingems]

Bark at the Moon Chapter 13: Undaunted

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Or read on my Ao3>

Rating, Setting: Gen, Pre-canon

Chapter Warnings: None

Chapter Summary: Undyne's the heroine who never gives up--she's not about to lose that title now.

The search parties had mostly given up after only a few weeks, but Undyne wouldn't. She couldn't, not after the months of trouble her friends had been put through. She didn't care if she lost her place as captain, she didn't care what it meant for her career--two monsters under her watch had been treated horribly after suffering long enough already, and she couldn't rest until she knew for sure what had befallen them. Asgore had been understanding when she'd explained the situation, but others might talk... Well, she'd let 'em. If they had a problem with how she spent her time, they could take it up with her--so far, no one had.

Dressed in a heavy coat to ward off the cold, most of Undyne's days the last month had been spent scouring the wilderness. She worked the forest systematically, keeping track of how much ground she'd covered and which direction hadn't been explored. She drew on everything she knew, every instinct and shred of knowledge and ounce of determination, and kept going. They had to be out here somewhere.

She crested a low hill, and hooted triumphantly--there! Clear as a pond in Waterfall, a trackway. They were old, but fresher than any of the ones around town--and she didn't know of anyone or anything else that would leave such tracks. Four digits in front, three in back, thin and always tipped by claws--the only thing that came close were the various icedrakes, but they were bipeds. As long as she followed these, she'd find something--she was sure of it. She powered forward, legs carrying her faster and faster until she was almost running--

Something impacted her. She pitched forward with a grunt, landing roughly in loose brush, only to be hauled up by her backpack and shaken. She dropped roughly to the ground, and yelped as her arm was pinned and her assailant tried to pull the backpack off again. She rolled and kicked out to knock her attacker's leg from under them, and glimpsed that not only was said leg made of bone, it was broken.

Her strike connected. The creature shrieked and darted off, pausing briefly a few yards away to stare at her hollowly with orange eyes. Then it dashed off again, and Undyne scrambled to pursue. She'd found something alright, and it made her soul twist painfully.

"Papyrus! Wait! I wanna help!"

She chased after him, weaving through the brush and trees breathlessly; even with an injured arm he was easily outpacing her and it wasn't long before she'd lost sight of him. She continued following his tracks--but the new trail petered out by going off a cliff. She skidded to a halt, panting; Undyne knew Papyrus had incredible jumping abilities so he hadn't just fallen however far down that was. She'd lost him. She grit her teeth, then punched the nearest tree in frustration. Chunks of snow rained from its branches, smattering around her with little splats--the only sound aside from her ragged breathing. She'd been so close...! If she'd gotten in range she could have used a green attack, and then... well. It didn't matter now--he'd gotten away. But her frown softened as a thought occurred to her. At least she knew he was alive.

But...

He'd attacked her, and though they'd stared at one another, he hadn't seemed to recognize her at all. She'd seen only the wary gaze of an animal in those orange lights. He'd slipped... and it seemed worse this time. Back when he'd pounced on her in the hidden cave, he at least knew she was a friend and was playing with her. She rotated her arm, feeling out the lingering soreness from the scuffle--this time, he'd held back, but not much. She had to find him again, and break him out of this like she said she would. She made a face--hopefully it wouldn't involve any actual breaking.

She had to find him again, and Sans, but it was getting late and she wasn't prepared for a night in the forest. She glanced back up, looking out over the valley black with thick, hardy evergreens and cut by a rushing river. They were out there, somewhere...

She stomped her foot with a grunt, and shouted as loud as she could. "Papyrus! I'm coming back tomorrow! Don't be late, y'hear me?! And bring your lazy excuse for a brother too, got it?!"

She glared, listening to her words echo and hoping, somehow, she'd hear a reply. But it was getting too cold. She turned and retraced her steps until she finally came back to the road. After everything that had happened, the rest of the journey to get home felt so long... maybe she'd just stay at the Snowed Inn again. It was always clean and cozy, and they had the best cinnamon buns. Yeah. That sounded relaxing. She could use the peace and quiet to come up with a gameplan that wasn't just 'wander in the woods until she found her friend'. She needed to do better than that. Papyrus--whether he knew it or not anymore--was counting on her.

But she'd done everything she could today--after a full day in it, the cold was really biting at her scales. She grit her teeth and pulled her coat tighter against the icy breeze. Just a bit farther...! She sighed with relief when the warm lights of town finally poked through the trees. She'd take Snowdin's cold over Hotland any day, but the thought of taking a hot shower before snuggling under cozy blankets sounded like the nicest thing right now.

Once she'd gotten settled into her room for the night, she called Alphys.

"O-oh, hello, C-Captain Undyne," she stammered on the other end of the line, and Undyne felt her heart do little flips.

"Hey Doctor Alphys! Um, I was wondering... if... er, if you could help me with something," she started--more awkwardly than she wanted it to sound, ugh. "I've uh--I've got a case I'm working on and--well--I was hoping you--um--"

"I-I'd love to!" Alphys said quickly, and there was the sound of ruffling papers. "It's th-the case of the b-beast, right? Only, it wasn't a beast it was the skeleton brothers--I had no idea transforming monsters were real, it's just like this show I've been watching where it turns out the main character's best friends are really--WHOOPS spoilers ha ha ha... Um... Is it... that case?"

Undyne coughed. "Yeah. I'm... trying to find them. I saw Papyrus today."

"O-oh! Th-that's good! ... Right?"

Undyne sighed. "Yeah, but... it was like he didn't recognize me at all."

"O-oh..."

"Yeah. I've seen him do this, where he acts... different. More like a wild animal, I guess... He kinda reminds me of the dogs, but then when he stretches it's more like a cat, and then if he's watching something it's kinda like a bird--anyway, the point is, he stops acting like Papyrus. I mean, you can still tell it's him in there, but... I've been able to snap him out of it before, but this time... I dunno. He seems like... like he's really in deep."

"Hmm..." Alphys was quiet as she thought; it took a while, but Undyne didn't mind--she was enjoying just having her on the phone.

"W-well," she finally started, and it sounded like she adjusted her glasses. "Based on what little information you gave me, I can only guess so much, b-but... um, I only have like one episode of this show, b-but, one of the characters loses his memories, and seems like a totally different person until his friends spend enough time talking about things they all did together. I don't know if that would really work--i-it's kind of silly, saying it out l-loud now, um, nevermind--"'

"No! No, I think that might be exactly it," Undyne said quickly; of course it was something obvious like that! Man, Alphys really had a problem with confidence sometimes--she had the best ideas. "I was just gonna go out and like, tackle him, but now I think I should do that... AND tell him about all the other times I have too!"

Alphys managed a weak laugh. "Th-that... seems like it's worth a shot. T-tell me if it works, okay?"

"Of course! Thank you so much--um, I might ask you for more help again soon, okay? Actually... Back when he was... still in town, Papyrus seemed really bothered by the fact he was stuck in his beast form. You think you could, I dunno, rig up some science thing to scan his magic and see if something's going on with it?"

"I-I could certainly try," Alphys replied, and Undyne heard a sound like she was tapping her chin. "I wish I could have looked into it before they transformed so I'd have a baseline to compare it to, b-but, I guess I'll have to use regular monsters as a control... I-if their bodies can change so drastically, I can only imagine what their souls are doing, and that could explain why their mental states change as well... I'll have to see what the literature says about endomagical structure and regulation... O-oh, sorry, I'm rambling--you're probably busy, that was probably really boring--"

Undyne scoffed. "I mean, I can't exactly weigh in, but I love when you talk science stuff. Now, when you get into jargon, then I'm really lost."

She loved when she talked any stuff, but science was a topic Alphys could happily discuss at length. Even if she didn't understand, Undyne could listen to her for hours. She just liked seeing Alphys happy.

"Y-yeah, ha ha... I don't know enough about this to get into any jargon yet, b-but trust me, there's gonna be jargon eventually."

"There always is," Undyne teased, then turned serious. "Well hey, listen--I'm really glad you want to help. These guys have been trying to deal with it on their own this whole time, and... needless to say it hasn't worked out. I'll do everything I can, but... I think we need someone who can really look into this once I get them back."

"Yeah... I-I... I'll do my best," Alphys replied quietly. "Let me know when... when you find them."

"Oh yeah, for sure. So, uh... cool. Uh. Talk to you later....?"

"Yeah! O-oh, um, okay, bye!"

She hung up, and rolled onto her back. Alphys was so smart--such an obvious solution to helping the brothers remember themselves hadn't even crossed Undyne's mind. She'd give it a shot for sure. And then, once they were back, Alphys could use science to help them figure out what was up with them being stuck... It was nice to feel like maybe things might work out. Undyne had tried not to be hard on herself, but she felt like she'd let the brothers down.

Maybe she should have let Papyrus help with the investigation after all, before things had gotten so out of hand that the townsfolk were ready to attack on sight. But it was too late--she had to face this head-on and not get bogged down with regrets. She'd take Alphys' advice and try getting through to her friends tomorrow.

[anotherath-iii-na]

Discomforttale: Chapter 18

You have fallen through a hole, but you aren’t sure how you got there. Flowers are trying to fight you, goats are trying to mother you, puzzles are trying to confuse you…

you are filled with DISCOMFORT.

AO3

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Once more, you walk through thinning snow towards the damp place. What did the book call it? Swampland? Cavern? You know it’s named after some sort of environment or natural landmark. It’s an even less creative name than Icevi—Snowdin. That’s what it’s called. You wish you were back there, back with Papyrus and the Snowed Inn and the little river with smooth, smooth rocks and the quiet, tree-lined path leading back to the Ruins, back to Mom, back to butterscotch-cinnamon pie and bug catching and reading ‘til you fall asleep in her lap and waking up to the smell of baking, where you only knew about these places from books and you didn’t have to worry about royalty who want you dead or skeletons with glowing bedrooms asking about things you never did or, or, or—

*Chisk, the left voice mutters, and you blink away the dampness in your eyes to find a yellow reptilian monster about your height staring at you.

“Yo? Underground to, uh…you? You doin’ okay?”

You gulp a few times, but nod. Just thinking, you sign, before you notice, oh. They’re the monster from before. They don’t have arms. Why would they know sign language if they couldn’t use it? You open your mouth to try to force the words out, but they speak first.

“Well, looks like you’re thinking too much!” they say with a grin. Oh. They do know it. Come to think of it, so did all the other monsters you talked to. How…convenient. “You gotta watch where you’re going here in Waterfall. It’s not like Snowdin.”

It isn’t? What’s different? Is it…dangerous?

“Yeah, it’s all stony, and there’s ledges and water all over. If you’re not paying attention, you could get hurt!”

You note that they must have learned from experience, judging by the darkened places around their eyes. Or maybe that’s just how their face is. Do monsters even bruise?

“Anyways, I’m M.K. Are you sneaking out to see her too?”

M.K. You wonder what the letters stand for, or if that’s just their full name. Would it be spelled “Emkay” then? Monsters do have funny names, but you supposed yours isn’t very common either. Still, you’re sure it must be initials. Maybe they stand for Monster Kid. It would be fitting. You nearly laugh, but M.K. is staring at you again. You blink. What was the question?

“What, were you thinking again?” You nod, grinning sheepishly. “You gotta stop that, yo!” They tilt their head a bit. “Well, don’t stop thinking. That’d probably be bad.” They grin, steeling their expression into something courageous. “But you have to pay attention to what’s going on! A true warrior is always aware of their surroundings! And I’m going to be a true warrior, just like Undyne!” They’re bouncing on their feet, tail swinging behind them. You blink. “You’re going to be a warrior too, right?”

What? You shake your head. No, no no no. You’d rather not be a warrior. That’s too much fighting for your liking.

M.K. looks a bit disappointed for a moment, but they go right back to bouncing. “Aw, well. What are you going to be, then?”

You shrug. You haven’t thought that far.

“Nothing wrong with that!” they say brightly. “You’re still a kid, I can tell by your shirt. You have a while to figure that out. But I already know exactly what I’m doing!” They tilt their head at you again. “You’re still here to see her though, right? I mean, you don’t have to be a warrior to know how cool she is! And she’s the coolest! Just don’t tell my parents I’m here, haha.”

You don’t bother answering, since they buried the question and you think it would be a little awkward to just nod or shake your head after all that, and you don’t feel like talking. So you just smile, and actually, yeah, nod your head too. It doesn’t have to be an answer. It can just mean you’re listening.

“Awesome!” Oh. They took it as an answer anyway. …you think. “Anyway, I’m gonna go look for her. See you later!” And off they run, teetering a bit, but they manage to right themself without falling on their face.

You think on their words for a minute. Not the ones about not thinking too much. That would be ironic, and also counterproductive. No, you think about other words. You’re still a kid. You have time to figure things out. Maybe you could just…stop, for a bit. Stop and think. Figure out what you’re going to do.

Your eyes are drawn ahead of you, to your left. Sans sits at his sentry station. He catches your gaze and waves lazily.

…not here, then.

You go forward, past Sans—who says something about hanging out again sometime—and follow the path M.K. took. It leads past a box like the ones from Snowdin (which you ignore for now, since you think you have everything you need) and to a waterfall.

A waterfall with rocks flowing down it.

Oh no.

Okay, you reason. You can think about this logically. You don’t see M.K. anywhere around. Could they have really gotten past such a dangerous (senseless, pointlessly time-consuming, possibly deadly) obstacle in such a short amount of time? No, you don’t think so. …unless they’re more used to the danger of the area than you’d think they should be. They’re still a kid, too.

Still, you’re sure there must be some sort of shortcut. You follow the wood boards (they’re blue, they don’t look painted, how can wood be blue—) with your eyes, tracing a path downwards, to another waterfall. A perfect place to hide a secret, less dangerous path for locals. No sense in making human traps if they trap monsters just as often. No point in making human traps at all, really, if humans as rare as they say, but you’re going to try not to judge anyone around here.

It’s surprisingly difficult.

Down the path you walk, careful not to trip on loose boards or slip on what water you’re sure must be there. You try to peek behind the waterfall for a safe, preferably non-slippery path inwards, but there’s not enough space between the water and the wall. You try the other side, but it’s just as bad. Nothing.

Still, there’s a pretty blue flower down here, so it’s not a total waste. It looks like the flower you saw by the orange fish monster, but you hadn’t been able to get a close look at it with all the people around. …monsters, you mean. You lean over to smell it, but as soon as you get near it, you jump. It speaks.

“Sitting behind rushing water... It makes me feel relaxed. I swore I saw something... Behind that rushing water...”

Is that a clue? Why would there be a clue? (And why does everything talk down here?) You glare at the waterfall. You’re going to be very upset with it if it’s hiding something from you. You look at it again, from the front this time, and you think you see something? There’s something shining there, like the flower said, just beyond the rushing water.

*A camera, Left supplies, thinking a pointed eyeroll in your direction.

A camera? Like back before Snowdin, right outside the door to the Ruins? Why is there a camera? Who’s watching you?

[Don’t think too hard,] Right says. [Remember M.K.!]

Right, right. You have to pay attention. With one last glance at the camera, you head back up the path to the terrifying murder-fall (it’s like a waterfall, except murder objects fall down too, and apparently they’re popular with monsters—but you’re not judging them, not at all). You’re going to have to get wet, aren’t you? You hate getting wet. You’re not sure how you know that, since that never happened as far as you remember, but you do. You really, really hope the water is shallow enough that it doesn’t get in your boots, but you really, really doubt it.

You could…jump the rocks, maybe? Is that the puzzle? Or maybe you’re supposed to climb the rocks around the falls and there’s a bridge up top. Or maybe—

*Or maybe you should not kid yourself. Even if that was the puzzle’s intention, you are not nearly athletic enough to accomplish such a task.

Slightly hurt, you have to agree. No matter what you were meant to do, wading seems to be your only option. Still, you wiggle your toes at the water’s edge for several moments before finally stepping in.

It’s cold. It’s really, really cold and it’s in your boots and it’s hard to lift your feet up to move and—oh god, that’s a rock—you move upstream to avoid being hit. Actually, you move directly into the waterfall when you’re paying too close attention to the murderrocks and now you’re soaked.

Shaking, you take a moment to calm down. You look around to assess your situation. You’re in a cave (*What else is new, Left says, but you ignore them) behind the waterfall and there’s a tutu on the ground.

Why is there a tutu on the ground.

[Pick up the tutu and it won’t be on the ground anymore.]

A reasonable suggestion. You pick up the tutu, coughing at the cloud of dust, and consider putting it on. It’s certainly cute, and it almost matches one stripe on your shirt, and it’s not like you’re stealing it if someone left it here…

*Yes, will you finally trade that bandaid for something more helpful?

Bandaid? Oh, they mean the necklace. But why would the tutu be any more helpful? And why would you need to take off your necklace to wear it?

[…that’s a good point, actually.]

They start talking amongst themselves, but you ignore them and slip the tutu on. You do a little twirl, then another and another until you’re dizzy. You lean against the wall until everything stops spinning.

You’ve dried off a bit (and emptied the water out of your oversized boots), but you’re just going to get wet again. You sigh, steel yourself, and head back out through the waterfall.

It’s not quite as bad now that you’re used to it. You’d really rather not have to get used to it, but anything to make it a little less unpleasant. You make it to the other side having only bumped into a single rock, nearly skipping with pride. That is, until you feel your socks pull from your boots and make that awful squelch and you have to sit down and get the water out again. And take off your socks. Those go in your inventory.

As bad as it feels to wear shoes without socks, wearing them with wet socks would be worse and you don’t have the time to wait for them to dry. You have to get…somewhere, and somewhere is where you’re going.

Until you get to the tall grass, that is.

You’re halfway through the grass when you hear Papyrus. Grinning, you almost wave at him, but you see her. Undyne. You know, the monster who’s planning on killing you and stealing your soul. And Papyrus is talking to her. Papyrus, your new friend. Or…you thought he was a friend. You knew he wanted to be in the royal guard, that he wanted to capture a human, but…but…

“...I UNDERSTAND. I'LL HELP YOU IN ANY WAY I CAN.”

But you didn’t think he’d betray you.

Hurt, holding back tears, you suddenly don’t want to go anymore. You want to stay right where you are, hidden in the grass and hugging yourself. More than that, you want to go back to Snowdin, but Papyrus is there. He’s working for Undyne now. You won’t be safe. You want to go back to Mom, but the door is locked and you’d have to go through Snowdin. Sans might help you, though. He had that shortcut to Grillby’s, maybe he has one to the Ruins?

No. He’d pick his brother over you any day. You have nowhere to go but forward, so forward you’ll go. The grass rustles as you walk and—what’s that? You look up at the sound and oh god, oh god, it’s Undyne, she never left, you thought she left!

She moves towards the ledge and pulls out a spear from…somewhere…and oh god, you’re going to die here—

But she puts the spear away.

And she leaves.

And you’re stuck there in the tall, tall grass and you’re cold and wet and terrified and you sob.

You sob so loud you don’t even hear the grass rustling when someone approaches you. You only hear them talk.

“Yo...did you see the way she was staring at you...? That was AWESOME! I'm SOOOO jealous! What did—” M.K. bends their head around to look at your face. “Yo, are you crying? What’s wrong?”

You wipe at your face with your sleeves. You don’t even have the energy to sign a response. You just turn your head upwards to look at the ledge Undyne had been standing on.

“Are you…scared? Did you think she was really going to hurt you?” Miserably, you nod. “Yo, you must not be from around here! Undyne wouldn’t hurt you! She just hurts bad guys, like humans!”

That certainly didn’t make you feel any better, but you force out a little smile for their sake.

“Yeah, that’s it! C'mon! Let's go watch her beat up some bad guys!”

Off they run (and fall on their face, but they get back up alright) and finally you move. Out of the grass, you turn around to look up at the shadowed ledge. A feeling of dread hangs over you.

You are filled with discomfort.

Continue?

Yes        No

[it-refused]

Working Title: Forward, Back (11/?)

Summary:  Knowing what’s going to happen doesn’t mean Sans can stop it.  Maybe he could’ve put it off forever.  Sans decides to go.

Rating: T

Part Summary: Frisk deals with the human, and everyone else deals with Frisk.

>>First Part<<

C/N: Mental Illness, Possible death mention (of unknown characters)

Sans tried to keep his brother distracted with some of his famous, high quality jokes. They were both too aware of the time for it to really work.  

Grillby sent regular texts, and Sans wasn't sure what to tell him.  

Papyrus sent a message to Frisk.  Sans hovered nearby when he finally got a call back, well after lunch.  Sans overheard that things were "resolved," whatever that meant.  

Papyrus hung up and started running around, putting together a late lunch. Undyne, Toriel, and Frisk returned together.  

Frisk's expression was similar to the one Sans remembered them wearing the first time they met.  They were determined.  Grim, almost.  

"hey, good work out there, kiddo," Sans said.  "sit down and take a load off."

They sat down on the other side of the room, but when their butt hit the seat, the chair cushion under them had disappeared.  They let out a loud yelp when the seat was lower than they expected.

"heh. sorry.  guess that was pretty low of me."  

Toriel laughed.  "Sans, you are always low."  She sat down right next to Sans on the couch.  Her sudden weight made him slide right up against her.  She laughed again and put her arm around him.  

"hey. i resemble that."

The tension in the room started to dissolve.  Frisk made a sound of disgust.  They got up and started looking around their chair for their cushion.  At that moment they looked more irritated than anything else.

"Well!" Toriel sat up straight.  "Everything is settled, at least for a little while.  Everyone is safe.  Let us all move on to happier things.  It is so rare I get to visit."

"you're missing out, not stopping by." Sans wished she'd move closer, but he was never going to ask.

"Yes. It really is a shame," she said, serious.

Frisk gave up on the cushion and sat down again.  They were suddenly a foot higher in the air, all the extra cushions in the room stacked up underneath them.  

Toriel laughed behind her hand.  "Do not fall, my child!"

Frisk crossed their arms across their chest.  They stayed where they were. Undyne came in from the kitchen and yelled for them to try and keep their balance, and she lifted the chair.  

Frisk held on to the cushions with all their might.  Their face was clear of anything other than alarm.  

"Wait! The pillows are toppling over!"  Toriel hopped up and Sans almost fell over, himself.

Frisk asked if she was coming to help them.

"Of course, my child."  She held the cushions steady.  Sans was pretty sure that wasn't the help Frisk wanted.

"Three cheers for Frisk, and then I'll toss 'em!  Whoever catches them first, wins!"  Undyne said.

Papyrus burst in from the kitchen.  "DON'T THROW CHILDREN AROUND IN MY HOUSE!  NOT WITHOUT INVITING ME!"  

Angel slid in after him, bumping against his leg.

"Frisk isn't a kid anymore!"

"STILL, IT WOULD BE NICE TO BE INVITED."

"FINE!" Undyne waved him over.  "Consider this your invitation."

He walked over to her and she immediately grabbed him with her free arm and started to give him a noogie.  "THIS IS NOT AN INVITATION!"

"Frisk will always be my child," Toriel said, ignoring Papyrus' distress.  

Undyne grinned.  "Great!  Then catch 'em!"  

The next few minutes went by very quickly.  Sans stayed on the couch.  Angel slowly slid over and he helped them up next to him so they could watch TV, too.  It was a little tough to pay attention with all the noise.

"see, kiddo," Sans said to them, "frisk is pretty lucky to have so many great friends like us."

Angel nodded.

No one could pull people out of a bad mood like their little group could.  Sure, sometimes it was just moving them from one kind of bad mood to another, but you couldn't get everything you wanted.

Grillby came early, but everyone was already asleep.  It had been a long day.  Sans was dozing on the couch.  He woke when Grillby walked in.  

He'd given up his and Grillby's bed to Toriel so she didn't have to get a room at the inn nearby.  Frisk was asleep on the floor next to the couch, on a pile of cushions and covered in all the blankets Papyrus and Undyne could find for them.  

Grillby walked over to Frisk and knelt down next to them.  Sans rolled onto his side and opened an eye so he could watch them.  

Grillby shook his head and took off the blankets, piling them up in his arms.  The guy sure hated blankets.

"leave like one for the kid," Sans said.

"...am I sleeping in here, too?"  Grillby asked, quiet.

"yeah, right, never mind." Having skin must be a pain, with how heat sensitive it could be. Sans was glad he didn't have to deal with that.

Grillby took off his tie and vest and settled in with Sans.  He could have taken one of the cushionless chairs, but he and Sans had slept on the couch before.  It was cramped, but manageable.  They talked in low voices.

Sans had sent a text when Frisk got back, but had left out details, so he filled Grillby in.

"they were kind've in a mood when they got back," Sans said.  "but they're ok now." He shrugged.  

Frisk shifted on the floor and looked up at them.  

"why was that, huh?" Sans asked.  "you eavesdropping?  rude."

Frisk said the kid they found was LV 2.

Sans felt a little sick.  "well, guess if there are some missing grandmas, there's no point calling out the search party."  

Grillby had shrunk back.  

Frisk said that no one got to LV 2 on accident.  There was something about the way they said it that was familiar.  

"yeah.  what a freak."

"But..." Grillby slowly warmed, again.  "They won't hurt anyone again, right?"

Frisk wouldn't have understood, so Sans answered his question.  "yeah, they said they dealt with it."

Frisk said that they had done what they could.

"gave that kid a lecture and told on 'em to their folks, right?"  Sans asked, winking.  "that showed them, i bet."  They had all been hoping that Papyrus was the first monster the human had fought.  Oh well.  Sans was tired.

"I wonder who it was," Grillby said.  "Who hasn't been around?"  His flames were getting red - colder.  ".........God."  

"think of someone?"

"...no, but...I might, and..." He didn't want to think of anyone.

"probably some of the farmers or those guys who live outside town.  no point thinking about it now. not like there's a way to fix it."

Frisk nodded.  There was no going back.  The dead stayed dead.

"that's the plan, right, kid?"

They didn't look happy about it, but they nodded again.

"still.  sucks, though."

There was no disagreeing with that.

"I'm not going to sleep," Grillby said, sitting up.

"yeah.  pick a movie, frisk. let's make this a party."

Frisk stood up and sat on the couch with him.  Grillby went into the kitchen and made snacks.  When he came back, he seemed calm again.  

Grillby put his arm around Sans' shoulders and held him tight against his side until Papyrus burst into the room a little before dawn.  Sans thought Papyrus was more like sunshine than the sun was.  It didn't say anything good about him, but Sans knew that he would be able to deal with it no matter who it was that had died.  His brother was still there.  

>>Next Part<<

[underimagines]

Let's talk about headcanons about Food

Now, Mod Sync here is a decent enough cook. Put a recipe in front of me and I’ll be able to cook almost anything, and I can cook some things from just memory. I was making omelettes and looking up recipes and I wondered “What about the Undertale cast? What do they eat outside the game?” So, here are some things I’ve thought up about the main four!

If anyone remembers the Anniversary Q&A that happened (oh, who am I kidding, of course you guys do), then we know some things about that already. HOWEVER, I’m only going to partially use this info here. These are headcanons after all, so I don’t have to quite follow canon. 

Now, if you wish to continue, I shall leave these under a Read more, because this is gonna get wordy and also for you guys who are avoiding food for whatever reason. Also will include some other AUs.

Undertale Cast

Sans, without a doubt, loves anything greasy and fried. Pub food in partcular; burgers and fries are his go-to faves obviously, but also cheese sticks, stuffed potato skins, fried pickled, and so on. Hot pockets and mini pizza bites become a staple in his diet once on the surface. Anything he can pop in the microwave real quick. Also, mac and cheese with all the ketchup.

On the healthier side of things; He’s also very fond of anything with a large amount of tomatoes. Tomato soup with grilled cheese, sun dried Tomato slices, and many, many Italian dishes, though Papyrus has to sort of make him eat it. Except V8 juice. That shit is nasty.

Cooking-wise, he’s decent. He can make a number of different quiche by heart, and anything simple. He’ll need a recipe for anything else, and if it get’s too complicated, he’ll opt-out. Too lazy for anything fancy, leave that to his bro.

Papyrus is head of the kitchen in the Bros’ house. Strangely (or not so much) though, he’s the opposite of Sans; Paps is perfectly capable of making beautiful, complex dishes you’d see at a five-star restaurant. He likes the challenge. He could easily make Boeuf Bourguignon, Coq Au Vin, Backed Alaska, Curry from scratch, etc. But, when it comes to simpler things like Spaghetti, he’s thrown off. In his head, it’s too simple, so he adds things that the recipe doesn’t call for, thinking it will be better like his more complex ones. But…. yeah, the things he adds aren’t always even edible in general.

At the same time, he’s very fond of simple dishes. His favorite food is Oatmeal, an extremely simple dish to make for most. He has a cheese sandwich and an apple for lunch. Maybe he likes these because they’re so hard for him to make, like complex dishes are to normal people. I’d garner that the quiche Sans makes was another thing Paps favored but couldn’t make, so Sans made it for him sometimes. 

Aside from Italian, Paps would like fruit salad or salads in general, yogurt parfaits, cheese omelettes; simple, healthy things. He hates greasy foods, but he’s not above taking candy from the Inn lady, so he’s definitely got at least an ‘All things in moderation’ mentality.

Undyne is an odd ball here. We know that, similar to Sans, she’s fond of greasy foods, a call noting that she likes Grillby’s cheese fries. She also has soda and hot chocolate as choices when you hang out with her. It’s not a far stretch to say Undyne likes junk food. However, as an apparent fitness nut -stemming from needing to stay strong as Captain of the Guard- I’m sure Undyne knows that too much junk food is bad for her. However, there is one thing I can garner off her personality and one particular physical trait of hers that can tell me about what she might eat: her teeth. 

Undyne’s teeth are pointed. Meaning her teeth are sharp. I would go as far as saying that if Undyne is any particular kind of fish, it’s a Piranha. And what do Piranha like? Meat. Undyne, without a doubt, would love meat and grilling. Anything at all. Fish, Chicken, Hotdogs, Veggies, Kabobs, anything she can stick on a grill. 

Seafood is another thing entirely. I’d think seafood is more on the side of comfort food for her. Clam chowder in particular. It stems from a headcanon of mine about Undyne’s family, I’ll talk about it later if you guys want. Sushi is definitely a thing she can get behind, though may take a bit for her to build up to Sashimi.

Tea was another thing in the choices at your hang out. It stemmed from her time while training with Asgore, and she keeps some around. I think she drinks it when she’s stressed. It helps her relax and think.

Alphys is another junk food lover, but only because she’s busy with other things and doesn’t have the time to cook. Cup Ramen is her go-to, but she’s got some other stuff stored away. Finger things she can eat with one hand and type with the other. On the surface, Undyne gets her to start eating grapes or trail mix instead. 

On actual cooked foods, she’s fond of anything hearty; stews and thick soups, stir-fry, and anything served in a skillet. Also, of course she’s into oriental food. The first time she tries REAL ramen, she’s in heaven. She loves noodle dishes and once again, soups. Oddly, she has an extremely high spice tolerance, easily popping whole habaneros an a snack. Undyne refuses to kiss her after she has been.

Alphys herself is fairly decent at cooking. She learns to make a number of Japanese dishes once on the surface; onigiri, bento boxes, and her own sushi and ramen.

(I haven’t come up with any more than the skelebros of other AUs at the moment. Might do another post at a later date about with other characters if it is wanted.)

Underfell Skelebros

Sans, again, loves greasy pub food. He loves anything with a kick too. Jalapeño bites and pepper jack cheese are a constant. He also loves foods with layers or can have lots of toppings; pizzas with everything on them, subs and hotdogs piled high, and obviously his bro’s lasagna. (Don’t let him near a Cincinnati three-way, you will never hear the end of all the perverse jokes if you do.) He’s also fond of Cajun and Creole cooking.

On actual food, one of the few leafy greens Papyrus can get Sans to eat that he likes are Mustard greens, so more often than not, Paps will sauté some up as a side to whatever he’s cooked to get Sans to eat something relatively healthy. Otherwise, it’s limited to whatever Paps can sneak into a dish. Strangely, Sans is also fond of Southern style Sweet tea, even though he doesn’t care for sweet things otherwise.

Sans is an ok cook, but prefers not to if he doesn’t have to. If it isn’t microwaveable, it better be simple, or he’s gonna need a lot of motivation to make anything with more than 4 steps.

Papyrus is a literal Master Chef. He’d put Gorden Ramsey to shame. Paps can take almost anything and make it taste good. It’s the reason Sans eats anything healthy at all. Unlike UT!Paps, he can actually cook simple things too. It’s something besides his strength that he prides himself in.

On his own diet, he does love his lasagna, but also anything you can make in a casserole dish. He’s not overly picky, aside from keeping his own food to a tolerable spice level unlike his brother, but he does favor things that can last for a while and be reheated. In a world like Underfell, sometimes there are days were it’s just not safe to go out, so having a lot of leftovers can be helpful when stuck inside. So casseroles, stews, anything that can sit in the fridge and not taste bad after a day or two.

On another note, he’s fond of breads and baked goods. He makes some hella good garlic bread, and always has dinner rolls or biscuits or whatever ready as a side. Just don’t tell Sans how much he loves Monkey Bread, it’s one of the extreme few things he indulges in.

Underswap Skelebros

Sans our little taco man. Yes, he loves Mexican food. No, it’s not the only thing he cooks. No, his food isn’t that bad. He has a tendency of burning things because he gets distracted, but he knows better than to put inedible things in his food. That doesn’t mean he doesn’t get a little… creative with his cooking, but at least they’re all things that are supposed to be edible.

Through his love of Mexican food, he has a decent spice tolerance, and, though Tacos are his fave, he’s very fond of rice dishes as well. And black bean soup. He makes some fine salsa and guacamole from scratch too.

On the other hand, he’s not really picky. He’ll try anything once. He’s pretty fond of most any beef and chicken dishes. Though Paps has forbidden him from straight sugar and coffee, Sans can wip up some damn good sweets, like Mexican brownies and chocolate filled Churros. At least that way, Paps won’t drink straight honey while still getting his sugar fix.

Papyrus, on the other hand, is practically a sugar addict. He loooooves everything sweet. Candy, pastries, ice cream, anything with sugar. He’s Muffet’s taste tester if she’s making something new. Aside from honey, he’s particularly fond of chocolate in general and fruit fillings.

On the normal food side, he’s not as fond of spicy things as Sans, so Sans usually holds back on Pap’s food when it comes to spice. He also isn’t fond of complicated dishes unless it’s sweets. He likes simple things; sandwiches, salads, rice, anything you can throw together real quick or pop in the microwave. It’s not that he won’t eat healthy, it’s just it tends to be disproportionate to the amount of sweets he eats.

This also shows in his cooking. If it isn’t simple, he’s gonna have trouble. He’s not bad, he just gets a little nervous and that can lead to being a little clumsy. He’d rather Sans do the cooking, or at least keep an eye on things if it’s something he needs a recipe for.

[advocatewrites-blog]

Into the Unknown Part 2 Chapter 2

Into the Unknown

Fandom: Undertale, Coraline (book), Over the Garden Wall, Paranorman, Gravity Falls (season 2)

Characters: Frisk, Norman B., Dipper P., Mabel P., Coraline J., Wirt, Greg, the Cat, the Frog; Sans, Toriel, Papyrus, Undyne, Alphys, Asgore,; the Other Mother, the Beast, Agatha P., Bill Cipher, Asriel D., Chara D.,

Pairings: Not the focus. Alphys/Undyne, with mentions of Papyrus/Mettaton, sans/Toriel/Asgore, and Wirt/Sara. Due to the nature of Undertale and the dating segments, there is also interpretable Papyrus/Wirt, Undyne/Mabel, Alphys/Dipper, Napstablook/Norman, Mettaton/Norman, Mettaton/Mabel, Sans/Dipper, Sans/Norman, and Sans/Greg.

Rated a high +K for violence, mild language, horrific elements that may be disturbing to younger readers,  mentions of child abuse and bullying, character death that is sometimes permanent, and mentions of suicide that may be triggering. These elements remain relatively unchanged from their source material, which most all are for children, but discretion is advised nonetheless.

Disclaimer: Undertale was created and owned by Toby Fox. Coraline was created by Neil Gaiman and owned by Bloomsbury and Laika. Over the Garden Wall was created by Patrick McHale and owned by Cartoon Network. Paranorman was created by Sam Fell and Chris Butler and owned by Laika. Gravity Falls was created by Alex Hirsch and owned by Disney. Any other work mentioned or homage are property of their respective owners. This is a fan-made, nonprofit work that only seeks to entertain. Please support the original franchises.

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Chapter 2

It was clear that the world outside the door was far different than the Ruins. Cold winds rushed to them as soon as the door was opened, causing Wirt to try and bundle closer into his cloak. A blanket of snow covered the land and ended just at the edge of the door.

“Hooray! Snow day!” said Greg as he bounded towards the snow.

Wirt sighed and tried his best to ignore his brother. Leave it to Greg to forget they just had to fight the only friendly face they’ve met down here.

Greg did not fight back, actually. Once Toriel saw that Greg wouldn’t fight back, she turned her attention to Wirt. Once Greg convinced Wirt not to fight back, she ended the fight. She had allowed them to leave, and asked that they try not to contact her again. That didn’t change the fact that Greg had tried to call her every five seconds as they left the Ruins.

The sounds of snapping branches behind him shook Wirt out of his thoughts.

“Greg, come on, we’re leaving,” said Wirt.

“I know!” said Greg, from right in front of him.

Wirt’s head snapped from Greg to behind him again. No one was there.

“Wow, that was a pretty big branch,” said Greg. “Someone really strong must have snapped it.”

Wirt pulled Greg up. Greg scrambled to grab his frog.

“Come on Greg, we’re getting out of here as soon as possible.”

Whether he liked it or not, Greg was his responsibility, and Wirt was going to make sure he got home safe.

“Kay,” said Greg. “Are you sure we can’t go talk to the guy following us first?”

Wirt started to run. He only slowed down as they reached a large gate.

“Hello, humans. Two of you, huh?”

“Hiya mister!” Greg squirmed under Wirt’s arm as he put down the frog and held out his hand.

“hey kid. sorry, no handshakes today. left my whoopee cushions back at my checkpoint.”

“Whoopee!”

Wirt spun around. Behind him was a skeleton. It was not a particularly scary skeleton, Wirt realized. He was short and round, wearing a hodgepodge of clothing that put what Wirt was wearing to shame. His teeth were stretched into a wide grin that hardly moved as he spoke.

“My name’s Greg, and this is Wirt, and this is my frog Alexander Hamilton, but I’m thinking of changing it,” said Greg.

“the name’s sans, nice to meet ya,” said sans. “now, we were on the lookout for humans, so you better—“

“SANS!”

“already?” sans asked. “okay, go ahead and go through that gate. i’ll think of…something.”

“You’ll think of something?” Wirt asked.

“yeah, relax. i have some nice lamps you can hide behind.”

The gate bars weren’t big enough to block the four of them out. Without any other choice, Wirt ran through them.

There was a lamp out there. And even more surprisingly, it was human shaped. Not Wirt shaped, it was too short for that. Not Greg shaped, it was too thin for that.

sans muttered under his breath before he turned back to the others. “alright, maybe you can hide in my checkpoint?”

Wirt didn’t even get the chance. Before he could move, something was behind him.

“sup bro?” sans asked.

“YOU KNOW WHAT’S SUP BROTHER!” The newcomer snapped. “YOU STILL HAVEN’T RECALIBRATED YOUR PUZ—“

The newcomer’s eyes fell onto the three and he jumped back.

It was another skeleton. Much taller and angled than sans was, yet Wirt still didn’t feel bone-chilling terror at the sight of him. He was dressed in some strange armor, topped with an orange scarf that hovered behind him like cape.

“SANS!” The newcomer snapped. “ARE THOSE HUMANS?”

“uh…i think that’s a froggit, actually.”

The frog croaked.

“I’m a human!” Greg spoke up. “My name’s Greg and that’s Wirt and that’s my frog Thomas Jefferson but I’m thinking of changing it—”

“SANS! YOU FINALLY CAUGHT A HUMAN! AND TWO OF THEM! I’M SO PROUD OF YOU!” The newcomer said.

“uh…sure…”

The newcomer cleared his throat. Wirt wondered if he had one. “ATTENTION, HUMANS! YOU SHALL NOT PASS THIS AREA! I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, WILL STOP YOU! I WILL THEN CAPTURE YOU! YOU WILL BE DELIVERED TO THE CAPITAL! AFTER THAT! I’M NOT SURE WHAT HAPPENS! IN ANY CASE, CONTINUE…ONLY IF YOU DARE! NYEH HEH HEH!”

They reached the next town by sunset. It was a tiny thing that is more farmland than houses, but that was not what intrigued Frisk.

There were skeleton monsters. Hundreds of them, really, disguised in costumes of pumpkin held together by straw.  Frisk recognized them by the occasional gap that reveals bone, but more by their speech patterns.

They called for help, and were passed from one skeleton to the next until they reach the Pottsville Town City Commissioner, the biggest and meanest-looking of the group. He took a long look at Frisk, a longer look at the Cat, and welcomed them both to the party.

They also found the bluebird again. She kept her distance from the whole thing until Frisk invited her over. Even then, she was noticeably uncomfortable.

“Why are you even here? These guys are giving me the creeps,” said the bluebird.

Frisk shrugged.

Their a bit weird, but their really nice! They add in the notebook and show to her.

The bluebird made a face.

“Oh. You can’t talk, huh.”

There was a hint of disappointment in her tone, but Frisk is used to it, so they shrugged.

“I assure you, I am more than capable of speaking for the both of us,” said the Cat. There was a hint of something they did not recognize in his tone.

“Listen,” said the bluebird. “You’re still lost, right? I’m on my way to find Adelaide, the Good Witch of the Pasture. Maybe you can come with me, and maybe she could help you out too?”

The Cat made a noise as he starts to clean behind his ears dismissively.

“Forgive me for not being entirely trusting of women who say they have magic,” said the Cat.

Maybe she can help us find the beast, Frisk wrote down and showed to the both of them.

“What, you’re looking for that thing?” The bluebird asked.

Think he’s lost, like us, Frisk wrote.

The bluebird was silent for a minute.

“Well, you’re free to follow me, if you want,” she said quietly.

Great! Frisk wrote. My name’s Frisk, and the Cat doesn’t really have a name. What’s your name?

“Beatrice.”

The Snowdin Forest turned out to be easily navigable, even with the two skeletons trying to capture them. Greg handled the monsters, un-decorating the Gryphon and pretending to laugh at Snowdrake’s jokes.

Or maybe that was legitimate laughter. There were too many puns in the Underground for Wirt’s taste.

Wirt, meanwhile, worked on the puzzles. It was a generosity to call them puzzles, really. He was pretty sure the hardest one was the junior jumble. With puzzles like that, and with the fact that sans was never too far behind in case they needed some warmer clothes or help running away from the Jerry, it was hard to think of the skeleton brothers as anything but distractions.

Except for the fact that they were trying to kidnap them.

Toriel had tried to kidnap them, in a way. The ones that did not fight them would kidnap them in the end.

Wirt really hated the Underground.

Despite his bitter feelings, he was rather surprised to see Snowdin Town. It was a pleasant-looking town, with small buildings and Christmas decorations that lit the narrow streets. It looked too nice for a place in the Underground.  

There was an inn. He didn’t quite know how time passed in the Underground, but it had been a long time since they had slept. The Snowed Inn—

Wirt rolled his eyes. It would have to do.

“Come on, Greg,” said Wirt. “We’ll stay here for the night and think about what to do in the morning.”

“It’s noon,” said Greg, but he still followed Wirt in. He was asleep before he was.

Frisk, on a general principle, did not like schools. They had too many bad memories of school, from the students that teased them to the teachers that let them get away with it. But when they saw the schoolhouse, and figured out that it was surprisingly easy to get in, they decided it was not a bad place to stay for the night. The Cat and Beatrice had not been happy about it, but they learned to deal with it when Ms. Langtree served the lunch meal.

Potatoes and molasses healed a surprising amount.

There were animal monsters. They made up most of the student population. They are more animal-like than the animal monsters in the Underground, the only thing that makes them look different from just an animal being their clothes.

They were silent when they speak. Frisk didn’t mind; so are they. Ms. Langtree did mind; she can teach and go on about without interruption.

When they do speak, it is with music. The music is not perfect, as inexperienced paws and claws play instruments that were not designed for them. But when they perform together it is a celebration. Even Beatrice recognized it. It does not take much work for Frisk to show them that everyone would recognize it.

They never figured out what happened to the gorilla monster that was running around, or that no good two-timing Jimmy. They school stays open.

Greg woke up before Wirt. This was not hard, considering they were only asleep for about an hour. The bunny lady made a point of paying him back for the room considering they barely used it. Greg spent the money on Nice Cream across the street.

“Come on, Lucinda,” said Greg to the frog, but mostly to himself. He would have to find a better name for the frog later. “Let’s go find Papyrus.”

The frog croaked in support.

It’s not hard to find Papyrus. He’s right at the end of the town, as the road becomes covered in fog. He was not hard to find, but he was hard to see. Greg wondered if that was intentional.

“HUMAN,” Papyrus took in a deep breath before he continued. “ALLOW ME TO TELL YOU ABOUT SOME COMPELX FEELINGS. FEELINGS LIKE…THE JOY OF FINDING ANOTHER PASTA LOVER. THE ADMIRATION FOR ANOTHER’S PUZZLE SOLVING SKILLS. THE DESIRE TO HAVE A COOL, SMART PERSON THINK YOU ARE COOL. THESE FELLINGS…THEY MUST BE WHAT YOU ARE FEELING RIGHT NOW.”

“You’re not wrong!” said Greg. And, because he wasn’t quite sure what Papyrus wanted but recalled that it was the same way Wirt would talk about Sara, “Does that mean you wanna go on a date with me?”

“WHAT!!? F-FLIRTING?!! SO YOU FINALLY REVEAL YOUR ULTIMATE FEELINGS!!! WELL, I AM A SKELETON WITH VERY HIGH STANDARDS!!”

“Well, I think Lucinda and I could make spaghetti if we really tried,” said Greg. The frog ribbited in agreement.

“OH NO!!! YOU’RE MEETING ALL OF MY STANDARDS!!! L-LET’S DATE LATER! AFTER I CAPTURE YOU!”

The fight began.

It was easy to dodge Papyrus’ attacks. Very easy. Most times, Greg did not have to try. However, he quickly ran out of things he could do to escalate the battle. He would have to rely on his mercy.

Papyrus noticed that.

“SO, YOU WON’T FIGHT BACK?” Papyrus asked. “THEN LET’S SEE IF YOU CAN’T HANDLE MY FABLED BLUE ATTACK!!!”

The Blue Attack also wasn’t hard to dodge. Greg learned from the cute Doggo with the bad eyesight how to remember blue stopsigns, and that’s all Papyrus is throwing at him. He doesn’t even have to move.

Until his Soul sinks to the ground.

“YOU’RE BLUE NOW. THAT’S MY ATTACK. NYEH HEH HEH!”

When Wirt woke up, he couldn’t find Greg. It was only about ten minutes after Greg had left, but he did not realize that at the time. He rushed out of the inn, ignoring whatever the bunny monster was saying about payment. He ran through the streets of Snowdin wildly, trying to look for any sign of Greg…

And he found him casually leaving a rather large shed, the frog in the kettle he used for a hat.

“Greg, where were you?”

“I lost against Papyrus, so he kidnapped me,” said Greg. “But he made the bars too big and he forgot to lock the door so I broke out. I’m a jailbird now, Wirt!”

Wirt wasn’t sure if he should feel relieved or annoyed. He settles for focusing on the one thing he knows: Papyrus was going to capture them. He may not be very effective at it, but he could.

“Alright, fine. I’ll fight him.”

Wirt didn’t realize he was wandering so deep into the fog it was already too late. He was ready to turn around when he saw a figure in front of him.

“HELLO BIGGER HUMAN! ARE YOU HERE TO FIGHT ME TOO?”

“You bet!” Greg said. “He’s way stronger than I am!”

“WHAT?!!! SMALLER HUMAN?!! YOU BROKE OUT OF MY PRISON?!!” Papyrus asked. “NEVER MIND! LET ME PROVE TO YOU JUST HOW STRONG AND POPULAR I AM!”

Papyrus blocks the path.

“Try flirting with him, Wirt!” Greg said.

“YOU TOO?! WHY DO HUMANS FLIRT SO MUCH?!!”

“No, I don’t—” Wirt starts.

WELL, I SUPOSE IT IS VERY PROBABLE THAT THE GREAT PAPYRUS HAS MANY ADMIRERS! BUT LET’S DATE LATER! AFTER I KIDNAP YOU!”

Wirt felt a sinking feeling in his chest. His Soul dropped to the ground.

“YOU’RE BLUE NOW. THAT’S MY ATTACK! NYEH HEH HEH!!!”

Wirt willed himself to pull his Soul off the ground. The next wave of bone attacks started up. A few collided into Wirt’s side before he could adequately dodge them.

“Jump, Wirt, jump!” said Greg from the sidelines.

Wirt jumped. His Soul followed him. He landed just as a slow moving bone crossed under his feet.

“HMM…I WONDER WHAT I SHOULD WEAR…” said Papyrus. “THE DATING RULEBOOK DOES EMPHASIZE THE IMPORTANCE OF CLOTHING…”

Another wave on bone attacks rushed towards Wirt. He jumped over it.

“DO I HAVE ANY MTT ANIME POWDER BACK AT HOME I CAN RUB BEHIND MY EARS?? DO I HAVE EARS???”

“Hey Papyrus!” Wirt said. “You still wanna go on that date? Because I imagine I can’t go if you kidnap me!”

“I DO SEE THAT, HUMAN!!!” said Papyrus. “BUT IMAGINE HOW MUCH MY POPULARITY WILL SKYROCKET IF I DO CAPTURE YOU!! UNDYNE WILL BE REALLY PROUD OF ME!! THE KING WILL TRIM A HEDGE IN THE SHAPE OF MY SMILE!!! MY BROTHER WILL….WELL, HE WON’T CHANGE THAT MUCH.”

Wirt only caught some of that. More bones launched themselves towards him with every thought.

“I WILL HAVE MANY ADMIRERS!! BUT…WILL ANYONE LIKE ME AS MUCH AS YOU DO??”

“I will!” said Greg.

Bones as tall as Wirt filled the area. Wirt jumped, and found himself sailing in the air. He soared over them, and landed back in the snow. His Soul landed with a thud.

“I really like you, Papyrus,” said Wirt. “So maybe we can just forget about this human capturing nonsense and go on a date?”

Papyrus hesitated. He looked down at the ground as he weighed his options.

“SORRY HUMAN…BUT SURRENDER OR FACE MY SPECIAL ATTACK!!!”

Papyrus stepped back as he unveiled his attack.

The dog looked back up at him.

“WHAT THE HECK! THAT’S MY SPECIAL ATTACK!”

Papyrus threw a few of the smaller bones towards the dog in annoyance. It scampered off, special attack in mouth and tail wagging wildly.

“Wirt! Wirt, Wirt!” said Greg. “Here, eat one of these, it’ll make you feel better!”

Greg ran out into the battlefield and took something out of his teapot hat. Wirt only had a second to really look at it. It looked like some kind of cinnamon roll, carefully pressed into the shape of a rabbit.

“SIGH…HERE’S AN ABSOLUTELY NORMAL ATTACK.”

More bones emerged from the ground, forming a forest around them. Wirt shoved the cinnamon bunny in his mouth, grabbed a hold of Greg, and jumped.

There was a horse monster. His name is Fred. He thinks he’s a lot meaner than he actually is. He does have a tendency to steal, however.

There were other humans. Frisk was less interested in them. They were very interested in Frisk, however. There were the customers of the tavern, who scrambled to label Frisk as something they weren’t. They settled on the young pilgrim, and Frisk decides to keep it because it does not assume what gender they are. There’s Mr. Quincy and Miss Margueritte and Frisk is disappointed to find out that they aren’t ghost monsters. They send Frisk away with some gold coins and some tea. The tea feels familiar for reasons that Frisk can’t quite place.

There were frog monsters. They are far better dressed than the Froggits of the Ruins. Frisk, the Cat, and Beatrice hop aboard their ship and are carried to the pasture. The band was nice.

They saw the Woodsman once more. They don’t know if the Woodsman saw them, however. He seemed very distracted.

None of them, however, seem to know if they are monsters. If they did slow down enough to see what Frisk was saying, they would usually interpret monster to mean a very bad thing, get offended, and wouldn’t wait for Frisk to explain what they meant. It was mostly the older not-quite-monsters who did this.

“I don’t know what you expect,” said the Cat while they were on the boat. “If you asked if I were a monster I wouldn’t have an answer for you.”

Frisk asked if the Cat was a monster. The Cat gave Frisk a lazy glare but did not say much else.

Frisk asked if Beatrice were a monster.

“What?” Beatrice was distracted when they asked. She had been distracted the entire boat ride. “No, I….I used to be human you know.”

Frisk hadn’t. They turned their head to the side, to indicate how they want to hear more.

“Well, that’s why I’m going to Adelaide’s. Not much else to say about it,” said Beatrice. “Listen, kid…are you sure you can’t just leave this Beast business behind you and try and find your way home on your own?”

Frisk tried to answer. They try to write down that they don’t know where home is to begin with, and they need to get back to the Underground. They try to write that if the Beast really is a monster, or if there are any monsters in this place at all, they could help.

But Beatrice notices that they’re writing stuff down and answers before they can even finish a word.

“Great, then we’re skipping Adelaide’s, maybe we can go back to Pottsfield, you like skeletons, right?”

She flew closer in to the crowd before they could answer back. The Cat gave Beatrice a steady glare, but did not say anything.

“Wow,” said Greg. “Nice shortcut.”

“thanks.”

The area where sans had taken him looked like a place that his dad had said he shouldn’t go into. However, it was so cozy and warm that Greg not think of a reason why he couldn’t go in. Even the monsters looked friendly. Even the man on fire at the front looked friendly.

sans guided him up to the bar in the front. He had to help pull him up on the high barstool.

“what sounds good, bucko?”

“Hmm...potatoes!”

“we got fries, kid.”

“That’ll do!”

“you heard it grillbz. double order of fry.”

The bartender gave as steady a glare as one without a face could give towards sans, but left to the kitchen. The three sat in silence. Even Ross Valory the frog was silent.

“so kid. been meaning to ask you something,” said sans.

The atmosphere suddenly grew very heavy. Ross Valory ribbited, but with something Greg didn’t understand.

But he liked sans, so he decided to give him the benefit of the doubt. “What’s up?”

“well, there’s been something i’m worried about,” said sans. “Papyrus told me something interesting the other day. when no one’s around, a talking flower likes to show up and talk to him. offer him things; flattery, advice…predictions. think someone might be using one of them echo flowers in the Waterfall to play a trick on him. and if i’m being real honest…i think it might be a human.”

Greg thought hard, and hummed as he did.

“Well, it can’t be either of us, because we just got here,” said Greg. “Were there any other humans in the Underground before us?”

sans sighed before he answered.

He grabbed the ketchup bottle off of the bar and drank it whole. Greg always wanted to do that. But Dad said that there was too much sugar in ketchup and it didn’t taste sweet anyway.

“Well, I don’t know about any Echo Flowers, but I’ll keep an eye out for that one Golden Flower that likes to play pranks on people,” said Greg. “Thanks for the eats, sans.”

Sans was silent when Greg walked away. The frog croaked and tugged on his overalls. Greg looked behind him just in time to see the absolutely bewildered expression on sans’ face.

Somehow, he didn’t find that funny.

[bublp0pr]

I started a fanfic idea, which quickly expanded out of hand into more full-length fanfiction level. Then i get interrupted by things like ‘not starving to death’ so i have to prepare and eat dinner and whatever. By the time i get back to it, momentum is lost ;_; 

It’s not complete, fleshed out or edited. But it’s half interesting so i wanted to post it somewhere.

Stalemate

Frisk won’t back down. Neither will Undyne. Both are too stubborn for their own good, stuck in a stalemate with Undyne attacking and Frisk sparing.

Frisk is instinctually a natural at Undyne’s form of sparring and flourishes in the battle. This only annoys her more. Another rally of spear shaped bullets shoot at them. Another rally of spear shaped bullets are perfectly dodged. Frisk grins as the small 20HP value at the corner of their vision. Both are secretly enjoying this.

“Just fight me already you punk!” “Ohhhhh no!!! I’m not giving you the satisfaction, you fish!” “I can do this all day!” “Then keep ‘em coming lady!” “You’ll NEVER spare me!!!” “Trust me, when this is over I’m going to spare you so hard, you’ll be grateful to me for the rest of your life!” “Ngggggahhhhh!” “Rraaaarrgghhh!

~3 1/2 hours later~

Frisk is leaning against their spear, swaying side to side to avoid the bullets, now only moving at the speed of a leisurely stroll. Undyne’s armour is covered in sweat, moving up and down with her ragged panting. She’s taken off the arm guards and other unessentials, with only a chest plate remaining for real defence.

“Surrender *huff* your soul *huff* to me, human... This is *huff* your last chance.” She croaks. “*huff huff* Never!!” Frisk barks with short breath.

She holds back her next attack.

“What... *huff* What’s WRONG with you?” “What’s wrong with *huff* YOU??”

“Just DIE already!!”

A spear flies at them with an unexpected startling speed. Frisk parries it with their own stick without even turning around.

“Just accept my MERCY already!”

“Hell no!” “Same to you pal!”

Undyne lowers her weapon, walking closer to them. She looks down solemnly for a moment. Frisk leans back in relief. Finally! They spare her again. When I’m done with this, forget testing to find a better ending, i’m overwriting my save file. Undyne closes her eyes and clenches her fists.

The battlefield is quiet.

“You’re standing in the way of everyone’s hopes and dreams...” She whispers, a blue light slowly emerging from her. “I don’t CARE if you want to fight me or not.” The wind starts howling. “For the sake of monster kind...” The light grows brighter as dozens of spears conjure behind her. “I WILL NOT GIVE UP!!!”

Frisk sighs, weakly standing up straight again. They eat a Nice Cream while she powers up. It’s unnecessary as they’re at 20HP but the sugar helps wake them up atleast.

“Here we go again...”

Despite the revival, both sides are still obviously exhausted.

“YOU’LL... *huff* NEVER... *huff* ESCAPE.... *huff* ME!!!” She screams, her voice cracking at points from over-exertion.

Frisk glares at the warrior in a weary daze. They wobble in place and laugh with a minor hysteria, a crazy idea forming. “Yeah?!” The place a hand on their hip and tilt in place. “Just WATCH ME!”

With blatant disregard for the spears Undyne throws at her, they strut off the battle field in the direction of Snowdin.

“Get... Get BACK HERE! You little...” But Undyne is too tired to chase after them and trips over her boots.

“…Don’t think I’m not sparing you! You ginger devil-eyed freak of nature! When I come back, I’m going to spare you into next week!!! You won’t know what hit you!” Frisk calls behind their shoulder, meandering away like a drunk zombie.

They pause. 

“And... make sure to take care of yourself, okay?”

A crab apple and a bottle of slightly warm sea tea is tossed to next to Undyne. She rolls over on the ground and stares at the food in disbelief. Even running away, they’re STILL going on with that goody two shoes schtick?!

She spits at their direction.

...then takes the bottle and apple quickly. She’s stubborn, yes, but she’d rather get stabbed a thousand times in the chest than die such a pathetic death as drying out on a piece of rock.

“Stupid human.” She grunts.

Frisk takes periodic breaks to catch their breath as they hike back through Waterfall.

By the time they reach Sans sentry post it’s all they can do not to collapse right there and slip unconscious.

“woah. hey, are you o-” They spoke too soon.

There’s a thump as Sans hauls himself over the sentry counter and catches Frisk before they hit the ground. “kid...?” Frisk can’t hear them. They mumble some nonsense softly with a small wave of their arms and then drift into sleep.

They wake up in a dog bed. It’s too small for them, yet somehow they’ve positioned themselves so that they can fit on the round cushiony platform. Tossing aside surprisingly soft and warm layers of blankets, they look around. I’m in Papyrus’ shed. They realise in shock.

“No... no no no NO… I haven’t reloaded have i?” Frisk moans, stretching out. Unfolding their legs ruins the delicate balance of the resting pose and they fall out of the bed in a heap.

There’s a note on the floor. Face still pressed against the ground, Frisk stretches an arm to reach it.

hey, kid.

you uh, really rattled me there. collapsing like that. don’t tell me you’re falling for me so soon after my bro dumped ya? heheh.

tibia honest, just glad you both made it outa there in one piece. if y’know what i mean.

spaghetti’s in the kitchen with your name on it. (pap used the sauce to spell ‘hu nan’ on it. we ran outa sauce)

sans.

Well, atleast their fight hasn’t been undone. That’s a relief.

They stand up. To one side of the room, a pile of pillar-like logs are stacked hastily as though removed for their arrival. Weird.

With a yawn, they stroll out of the shed and towards the skeleton’s flashy ornamented door. Frisk takes a quick sniff under their arm and recoils. Ughhh. Sweat stains. They’ll need to take a shower in Waterfall or something.

The open the unlocked door and walk over to the kitchen. Can skeletons even smell though? They have... nose holes, Frisk supposes. Their mental dialogue is interrupted by a shrill yell as they turn a corner.

“HUMAN!”

Bones suddenly wrap themselves around Frisk and they’re hauled into the air. They pat the tall skeleton’s back and hug him in return. The grip gets tighter. Frisk’s face starts to turn red. “Papyrus... I can’t... breathe…” They gasp.

Suddenly they’re dropped to the ground. “OH! SORRY HUMAN! I FORGOT HOW FRAGILE YOU ARE.”

Frisk pulls themself up and coughs. “It’s fine Papyru-” A fork is shoved into their mouth.

“SUPER SPECIAL SPAGHETTI HAND-CRAFTED BY THE GREAT SPAGHETTORE PAPYRUS WILL SURELY MAKE YOU STRONGER!!! NYEH HEH HEH!”

Frisk fights the impulse to gag at the invasion to their mouth and swallows. They feel the slimy noodles sliding down their throat and shudder.

“Th-THANK you Papyrus,” they say, taking a step back when he moves in to give another forkful of pasta. “But I’m full now.”

The skeleton frowns. “AH. I SEE...” His grin returns. “I UNDERSTAND. MY SPAGHETTI IS QUITE FILLING!!” He starts laughing and Frisk slowly joins in, calming down. This is just what they needed. A break from all that chaotic action.

“WHEN YOU DIDN’T ANSWER MY PHONE CALL, I WAS QUITE BONETROUSLED. BUT WHEN SANS SHOWED UP WITH YOU IN HIS ARMS I COULDN’T STAY MAD AT YOU! NYEH HEH HEH!” Papyrus confesses, joining Frisk on the couch.

“ITS A SHAME TOO! I HAD THE BRILLIANT IDEA THAT YOU, UNDYNE AND I SHOULD HANG OUT SOMETIME!”

Frisk turns away awkwardly. “About that Papyrus...”

“WHAT WERE YOU DOING ANYWAY?” He continues, looking over at them.

They blink. “Well... you see... Undyne and I were actually, um, we were actually, err, sparring.” Papyrus tilts his head.  “And we got so into it that we fought until we couldn’t stand?” They finish, raising their voice slightly on the last syllable.

“...” “...”

“WOWIE!!! THIS IS PERFECT. THE GREAT PAPYRUS WAS RIGHT! YOU ARE ALREADY BECOMING FRIENDS BEFORE I EVEN HAVE THE CHANCE TO ARRANGE IT!”

Papyrus reaches out to give Frisk another hug so they brace themselves. It’s more gentle this time though. Papyrus may be odd but he never makes the same mistake twice.

“FIGHTING IS A GREAT ACTIVITY TO BRING PEOPLE TOGETHER. I SHOULD KNOW! UNDYNE AND I DO IT ALL THE TIME!!”

Frisk squirms so that they can look Papyrus in the eye.

“But, um. Papyrus, you see... Undyne... the way we were fighting... it was kind of, err, competitive. And… well, we both don’t want to lose. So we’re kind of enemies right now.”

Frisk shuffles out of the hug and repositions themself to come across as more serious. Papyrus takes a moment to consider Frisk’s predicament. It’s not the whole truth, but enough of it to get the message across.

“OH.”

He pauses long enough for the silence to become awkward.

“NYOO HOH HOH! THIS MEANS I’LL NEED TO TAKE SIDES BETWEEN MY FRIENDS AGAIN. WHAT WILL I DO? HOW COULD I POSSIBLY LET ONE OF MY FRIENDS GET REJECTED BY ME? IT WOULD BREAK THEIR HEART.”

Frisk holds back a smile. Typical Papyrus. He always has his priorities in order. (Which is to say the morally correct use of Papyrus’ unquestionable greatness always comes first)

“I know I’m placing you in a difficult position… But it’s ok! I’ve already decided I’m fine with you siding with Undyne, so there’s no problem!”

They know they can sway Undyne. Even if they have to die and reload a thousand times Frisk WILL spare her. In the scheme of things, Papyrus will be better off not feeling conflicted about Undyne hunting them.

It won’t be forever. Putting their friendship with Papyrus on hold is worth peaceful resolution.

“BUT… BUT…” He stammers.

“Undyne probably won’t be happy with me living here with you, so I’ll stay at the inn for now, ok?” Frisk suggests before he can argue his way out of it.

They walk to the door, when suddenly it opens. Standing only inches away from them, Sans faces Frisk.

“oh. hey kid.” He yawns, pleasantly surprised. “how was the nap? everything you dreamed it would be?”

“Haha, yeah. Thanks for helping me out back there. Aaanyway…” A gloved hand takes hold of their shoulder before they can slip past Sans. They scowl. Dammit Papyrus, not now.

“HUMAN, I… I THINK I SHOULD HAVE A SAY IN WHOSE SIDE I TAKE IN ALL THIS TOO. AFTER ALL, WHO KNOWS THE GREAT PAPYRUS BETTER THAN PAPYRUS HIMSELF?”

“the very skeleton in the bone.” Sans winks, pointing finger guns at his brother.

“SANNSSSS!! I WAS TRYING TO HAVE A MOMENT WITH THE HUMAN.”

The smaller skeleton just shrugs and grins.

“so what’s all this about taking sides?” He turns back to look at Frisk. It is physically impossible for a skull to raise an eyebrow, but somehow Sans manages it anyway.

“I was explaining to him about-“ “UNDYNE AND THE HUMAN ARE IN A COMPETITION WITH EACHOTHER. AND THEY SELFLESSLY WANT ME TO SUPPORT UNDYNE INSTEAD OF THEM IN THIS HULLABALLOO.”

Sans twists his face into the permanently smiling skull’s equivalent of a light frown. He gives Frisk a look(TM) then turns back to Papyrus.  “hmm. why do you need to pick a side at all bro?”

“EXACTLY!!! HUMAN, I CAN SUPPORT BOTH YOU AND UNDYNE DURING THIS TIME OF NEED. THERE IS ENOUGH PAPYRUS TO GO AROUND!”

And then the concept died when i ate a piece of cooked fish. rip in pepperoni my fanfic idea. Maybe one day, the inspiration shall return and you will be edited, fleshed out and completed (but probably not)