#oh wow surprise surprise most of these include boone

[thapunqueen]

Since i havent had any time to draw anything in the past month or so heres just a complete DUMP of random fallout shit ive made for yall as a uhhh my bad therell be art soon..maybe

[gloriabomfim]

Scene Plot: Inside the newly finished and decorated house, Boone marvels and thanks Boone's fathers (Boogly and Meltus), uncles (Burnard, Flamzer, Globert, and Vampos), and Blossom for their help while Boogly sometimes refers to himself in the third person. Cut to Boone tries to open what Boone thinks is the front door, however, Boone comes face to face with a brick wall. Cut to Deciding to try and find the real front door, Boone's fathers (Boogly and Meltus), uncles (Burnard, Flamzer, Globert, and Vampos), and Blossom else sheepishly walks away and begins to explore the house. Cuts to Boone's fathers (Boogly and Meltus), uncles (Burnard, Flamzer, Globert, and Vampos), and Blossom spot numerous design flaws in the house, including Blossom opens a window leading to another room and Boogly opens a door that leads to the refrigerator, then Boogly eats a sandwich. Cut to Flamzer walks in on the door on the ground called "Trapdoor", then Flamzer causes Trapdoor to open a door and screaming while falls into the darkness, only to be Globert walks in and Flamzer falls on top of Globert. Cut to Burnard sees a Dutch door, a door that splits into two halves. Burnard quickly opens the top half of the door, playfully scaring Boone, who is walking by on the other side. Transcript with actions and dialogues:

Scene: Inside the newly finished and decorated house, Boone marvels at the cozy interior.

Boone: (with excitement) Wow, this is amazing! Thanks a million, dads and uncles, for helping us with the housewarming! And Blossom, you're a real sweetheart for being here too!

Boogly can't resist chiming in with his third-person charm.

Boogly: (in a pompous tone) Boogly believes that Boogly deserves all the thanks! Boogly has impeccable taste, after all.

Everyone starts exploring the house, but Boone hits a roadblock.

Boone: (confused) Alright, time to find the front door…

Boone tries to open a door, but it turns out to be a brick wall.

Boone: (perplexed) Well, that's not right.

As Boone looks for the real front door, the others begin to discover some design quirks.

Burnard: (grinning) Look at this! It's a Dutch door! You can split it in half!

Burnard playfully opens the top half and startles Boone on the other side.

Boone: (startled) Whoa, Burnard! You really know how to make an entrance.

Meanwhile, Boogly decides to explore the kitchen.

Boogly: (mouth full) Ah, the kitchen! Boogly's natural habitat!

Boogly dives into the fridge and starts munching on a sandwich.

Boogly: (mumbling) Delicious! Boogly approves.

Flamzer's curiosity leads him to a mysterious trapdoor.

Flamzer: (intrigued) What's this? A trapdoor? Well, I can't resist!

Flamzer opens the trapdoor, and with a scream, he falls into darkness.

Flamzer: (yelling) Aaah! Guys, don't follow me down here!

Globert walks into the room, unaware of what just happened.

Globert: (confident) Flamzer, you always find the most dramatic entrances. What's in this room?

Flamzer falls from above, landing on Globert.

Globert: (surprised) Oh, well, that answers that question!

Meanwhile, Blossom discovers a window that leads to another room.

Blossom: (excited) Look, everyone! A magical window to another world!

She opens the window, revealing a whimsical room with floating furniture.

Blossom: (dreamy) This place is simply enchanting.

As everyone continues to explore, Boone can't help but chuckle at the chaos.

Boone: (amused) Our new home is turning out to be quite an adventure!

[fallout-friends-react]

Hello there. First and foremost I have to say I love theses reactions, specially Cowgirl Wifey who I feel you are spot on with. Now for my question: Companion reactions (including Christine, Blaze Man, Follows, Cloud. Not want to be werewolvie Vulpz) on the Courier having a kid. Example: Cass finding out that she and the Courier are going to have a kid just a week or so after 6 goes off to the Divide/Courier had a night of fun and got babied and Veronica finds out. That so of thing...

I’m not gonna lie I like, don’t really understand your example, so I’m just gonna roll wit it lol

Arcade: The Courier didn’t have to tell Arcade directly that they were pregnant, he noticed the signs. “You’re pregnant aren’t you.” He asked without a question mark. The Courier just nodded in response. Arcade gave a drawn out sigh. He knew that he’d end up being the one doing most of the parenting. He shrugged, “well, not much you can do about it now. Don’t worry, I’ll stick with you... two..” 

Boone: The Courier and Boone had been walking together in silence for some time. They decided to break the awkward silence, by admitted to Boone that they were pregnant. When the Courier looked up from the ground, Boone was already looking at them, they weren’t sure what his expression meant. Boone took his hat off his head, and rubbed the top of his head. “For how long?” The Courier shrugged. “You can’t keep traveling the wasteland like we are now, not for long anyway...” he trailed off. Maybe mapping out where would be the best place to settle. He continued to walk, without talking, still just thinking about their situation. 

Ed-E: Just another thing to protect

Lily: When the Courier told Lily they were pregnant, Lily was thrilled. She clapped her hands in delight, “I can’t believe I’m getting a great grandchild!” Regardless of if the Courier was happy about it or not, Lily would be excited for the both of them. She became extra cautious about touching the Courier. 

Raul: Raul was in the middle of one of his long winded complaints, something about how no one knows just how much worth a lot of junk has. The Courier cut him off but telling him they’re pregnant. Raul was silent for a few seconds, “haha good one boss.” He didn’t believe them, but their silence was enough to tell him they weren’t joking. He chuckled, “boy, the wasteland just keeps on giving me surprises.” He put his hand on the Courier’s shoulder, “You better name it after me.” 

Rex: Well, he’s a dog so he doesn’t understand what, “I’m pregnant,” means, but Rex senses it and protects the Courier far more fiercely than before.

Cass: “You’re WHAT?!” The Courier broke the pregnancy news to Cass, and her expression read astonishment. She rubbed her temples for a moment, inhaled as though she were about to say something, then went back to rubbing them. She sighed heavily, “how did this even happen?” The Courier explained that they had quite the night in one of the strip’s hotels. All Cass could do in response was laugh. She slung her arm around the Courier’s shoulders, “Can’t believe I just lost my drinkin’ buddy!” 

Veronica: “You been acting weird lately, is something wrong? Did I do something? Should I leave?!” The Courier just laughed and told her that they were pregnant. She sighed, “oh is that all..... wait you’re WHAT?!” The Courier could practically see her conflicted feelings on her face. She was equally excited and scared. She weighed the options in her head. On one hand, she loves kids, on the other, it’s hard to raise kids in the wasteland. She shook her head to wake herself up, “whatever, aaAH congrats!!?!? I think??!”

Christine: The Courier admitted that they were pregnant to Christine, and all she did in response was make a face at them. The Courier waited for her to say something, but she just kept holding this face until they explained themselves. She laughed, almost in an exasperated way. “Boy you thought the wasteland was out to kill you as an adult.. Can’t imagine what it’s gonna be like with a kid.” It was almost like she was talking more to herself than the Courier. She gave a quick sigh, and turned to the Courier. “Well, let’s just see how this goes!” 

Joshua: Joshua directly asked the Courier if they were pregnant, they don’t know how he knew. They told him the truth, and he groaned quietly. He didn’t mean for that to be audible. It’s not that he’s never been around children before, but he was never particularly great with them. “You’ll have to talk to Daniel about this. I believe one of the Sorrows would be able to assist you with this.” The Courier could tell he didn’t really want anything to do with this. 

Follows Chalk: Chalk was walking close behind the Courier, when they decided to tell him about their pregnancy. He didn’t respond right away, “Wow. an equal curse and blessings, isn’t it.” It wasn’t quite the reaction the Courier was expecting. Chalk inhaled deeply, “I won’t be much help. Haven’t been around kids much myself, but I’ll be there if you need me.” 

Waking Cloud: When the Courier told Cloud they were having a child, she gasped quietly, and gently clapped her hands. “What news!” She was smiling. “I would be honored to assist with the birthing process.” There’s probably no better person to be with than a midwife, who has had kids herself! 

[sciencography]

It’s time to grow up

AppleTV jailbreaks, for those who were even aware of their existance, have always been seen as novel at best. And justifiably so! Compared to iOS the changes that can be made to your device are minimal. It should come as no surprise then that the single most common question we see when announcing a new AppleTV jailbreak is: Why?

Why jailbreak the AppleTV? For me the answer has always been the same, freedom. “This feature or behavior is missing from my favorite system on my TV or my phone, let me add it!” You may be motivated to tinker with your devices because you enjoy it and are passionate about contributing to a community that has such a rich history of drastically changing the ecosystem of a variety of Apple (or other companies) products. Our community had an App Store before Apple, we had copy and paste first, mobile notifier was a tweak Peter Hajas sold on the Cydia store before Apple hired him and a version of his solution became the de-facto way to receive notifications in iOS. 

Even pop culture has given at least two pretty awesome nods to jailbreaking:

Futurama in Attack of the killer App

Mom: The new eyePhone is wonderful. I use it to check recipes and send threatening e-mails to unauthorized third party app developers.

or Tiffy in Archer during Sea Tunt II

Eugene: Well, now there’s no signal at all.

Tiffy: Wow! Oh my God! I’m having the weirdest deja vu right now.

Eugene: Ya know….

Tiffy: Here, let me jailbreak your phone. It’s a totally reversible process. Oh, bricked it!

Awesome pop culture references aside, up to the present day a product like nControl came first (as did many things that made it into *OS 13, and even Controllers for All came before nControl), this helps me pivot to the next point. 

The availability of alternate 'jailbreak' stores throughout iOS history has always been a huge boon to the community and arguably is the main reason it still thrives. None of these stores ever adapted to tvOS, which gave us a fantastic opportunity to make one on our own. 

We have been, for a long time, and have fought through many challenges to get here, but:

WE FINALLY LAUNCHED THE tvOS APP STORE!!

I know, I know, it's 'old' news because I already announced it earlier this week on twitter, however, this is still the inaugural post to officially announce it anyways! 

nControl is the lone product right now, but in the very near future we will extend an invitation to *OS developers to join the party. We strongly believe tvOS has the most untapped potential out of any Apple device and we want your help to actualize this potential!!

Down to brass tacks, right now it isn't possible for us to accept other developers, most of the infrastructure is there, but not enough to open the door just yet. When this does happen we have some cool features that we think you will like, among them is ability to provide Package Discounts and Payout percentage calculation (two developers on same project). 

In conjuction with the next phase of the store launch (inviting more developers) there will be a FREE class I will be teaching ASAP to anyone who is interested in learning how to code for this platform. Varying levels of experience will be accepted! We will be offering ideas for commercial products, and will help you create them! 

Examples include: 

Picture in picture apps,

tweak to customize home screen style, 

quick jump to an app via remote button, 

adjust bitrate settings, add user profiles, 

deep save video position for later, 

web widgets via an iOS or Mac app to crop out just the useful part, 

dashboard for mail/weather/calendar events, 

Siri tweaks, 

audio enhacement (customized routing etc), 

VNC

Airplay FROM your AppleTV (similar to VNC idea)

Ad Blockers

the possabilities are endless! nitoTV had Pizza on Demand on the first generation of AppleTV sometime between 2007-2010, LONG before an App Store ever existed for the AppleTV, or before the nito.tv App Store was launched for that matter, its time for us to set the curve again.

Store Tutorial

NOTE: This requires a jailbroken AppleTV if you aren’t currently jailbroken head over to the wiki for instructions on jailbreaking with ChimeraTV

We use a 4 digit pin system (similar to plex and a variety of other applications) to authenticate an account you create with us. The payment processing is done through Amazon pay, which means an amazon.com account is needed as well as a valid credit card+billing address on record with them.

NOTE: Currently 2FA on Amazon accounts is not supported (OTP passwords are, but not 2FA). If you have that enabled on your account you will need to temporarily disable it to make purchases on the nito.tv store. We will rectify this as soon as possible.

Sign Up For Amazon.com account 

1. Sign up for an account on amazon.com (or sign in to your existing amazon account - they do our payment processing)

2. Add a valid credit card to your account (if you don't already have one)

3. Make sure your credit card has a billing address associated to it, or you will not be able to use it.

Sign up for Account on nito.tv

1. Sign up for a brand new account 

2. After you sign up you will receive an email with a link to verify your account works. If you do NOT get this email, send an email to jaywalker@nito.tv and he will get you sorted out. (a message like the one below will advertise said email)

3. Click the link in the email and then you should appear back at nito.tv with a similar page. notice authorized is circled, you can click that link now to get ready for the next step on the AppleTV itself

3. Open the nitoTV application on your AppleTV and navigate to Settings -> Accounts -> App Store - > Sign In

4. At this point you will get a screen with a 4 digit code to enter on another device with a web browser. After entering this code you will be signed in to the nito.tv store.

5. That's it, you should now be able to purchase items!

Conclusion

Time to circle back to the question of 'Why jailbreak' It may seem like I never directly answered the question. Here's a direct answer, the future. Right now there isn't a ton of earth shattering reasons, I think nControl is awesome, and I also think its a better fit for the AppleTV than any other Apple device. Maybe games aren't your cup of tea, outside of AirMagic a few assorted tweaks and freedom, there aren't a ton of answers that will fill an immediate need for an answer, the store can help catalyze this community to grow into what it has the potential to be. I know the pieces fit. The metamorphosis is almost complete, it’s time to for the AppleTV to discard it’s awkward phase and to become an adult.

[journeysintowebcomics]

Homestuck Liveblog #185

UPDATE 185: Get What You Want

Last time Dirk’s hijacking has been hijacked by the version of Calliope that’s deep in the black hole. She also took over Jade, because if there’s one thing this meat epilogue has a lot of is hijacking. Should be the Hijack Epilogue. So let’s continue.

Terezi has been standing there for a while, and she mentions smelling, so it’s likely this is the version that’s from Earth C, instead of any version that’s able to see. What have you been doing all this time, Terezi? Mind talking about that? Looks like she doesn’t, she’s busy commenting John smells like shit. He really must, what with all the vomit on himself and also the blood, the broken glasses, and finally the big-ass golden tooth stuck on his chest. It’s no surprise everyone John’s seeing tells him right away he should go clean himself.

I like how Calliope’s descriptive narration takes the time to point out all the flesh and dull teeth the characters move, since it’s all alien to her. The way she describes it amuses me a lot. Another reason to prefer this over Dirk’s narration, really. Less pretentious rambling, more amusing asides.

Somehow John spends a few paragraphs thinking Terezi is cute, even going as far as saying the term ‘gap moe’ would apply to her. I’m not really knowledgeable about such terms or really know much about what defines them, but never, in a million years, I’d have thought of calling Terezi ‘gap moe’. Who would have before this was written? I blame you for this, Hussie.

I don’t fucking believe this.

I know, right? Thanks, Dirk.

Dead Calliope is not judgmental and couldn’t care less about John’s cuteness thoughts about Terezi or about creepy human males gathering seven billion pillows with anime characters. Be relieved, John!

There’s a reference to Monty Python, and John says their movies suck, which is blasphemy as far as I’m concerned. It’s correctly said Alternia sucks, and Terezi gets sick, because apparently half of the characters in this epilogue has to be sick or fainting. I’m almost thinking somebody will take over Terezi in the next minute, but thankfully it doesn’t seem like that’s happening.

So, the reason why Terezi is about to faint is because she’s starving to death, she hasn’t eaten in who knows how long. I suppose she has been wandering in the middle of nowhere for a loooong time, and if she took any food with her it must already be gone. She doesn’t have a concrete destination in mind, I suppose. She must be flying around just for the sake of not being on Earth C. If it wasn’t for John here maybe she’d be doomed to die alone in the emptiness of paradox space.

Searching for food in the wallet only nets them a car. Hey, that’s good! I remember John used his wind powers to make a car float and fly, this could be a fast way of going around, although...given John’s delicate state, it may not be good for him to use his powers extensively, poor guy. Terezi isn’t very impressed a car was stored in a wallet.

JOHN: what are you doing out here anyway?

TEREZI: WH4T DO YOU TH1NK 1M DO1NG OUT H3R3?

TEREZI: LOOK1NG FOR VR1SK4 OF COURS3

Oh. So she didn’t leave Earth C because she was going to feel overwhelmed by everything like Rose and Dirk, she went all the way out here to look for Vriska. Good thing John isn’t aware of what happened to Vriska, because how to explain to the person who has almost starved to death that the person she’s looking for was sucked in a black hole? On the other hand, if she had arrived here earlier, she’d have been involved in the Lord English fight and that means she likely would have died. She got a bit lucky there.

I wonder if now that Terezi has heard finding Vriska is impossible she’ll want to return to Earth C. I also wonder if when she gets into that Earth she’ll suddenly feel the same thing Rose and Dirk felt, whether it’s because of her power or because Dirk or Dead Calliope force it on her.

Time doesn’t pass linearly here in the emptiness, so I’m not sure how old Terezi is. She may be just as old as John is, she sounds a bit delighted he’s older. The examination by smell ends when she discovers shaving cream and tries to eat it. Oh boy, she really must be starving! Somehow she seems to be satisfied by it, so maybe it’s not bad for trolls. Who knows.

but no. it’s just my brother’s tooth, lodged deep in his chest, spreading its poison. it really should be extracted before it’s too late.

Hey, now that I think about it, did Caliborn embed a vial of poison or whatever in that tooth? For no reason? Did he have any reason to think someday he’d be biting somebody and leaving the golden tooth behind? Did he install poison in there just because he wanted to? I mean, it wouldn’t really be out of character for him to randomly decide he wants a poisonous gold tooth, but it’s not like he’d have the chance to use it against many people!

Now that Terezi is gorging herself with shaving cream and seems to be a little better, John wants to return home, most likely by zapping, so he can get medical attention for the fatal injury he has right now. Terezi doesn’t want to, I guess because being with an agonizing John is a pleasant enough experience. Kind of inconsiderate, Terezi, let the poor guy get medical attention. John, being the sweet guy he is, accepts and decides to drive around with wind, waiting for Terezi to decide they can go home.

Iiii don’t remember John having such romantic feelings in Homestuck. He did have something that could resemble black romance, at least for a little while, but this is red. He must have really missed her.

Back in Earth C, Jane returns to the office after another political event.

the last traces of trickster mode are bleeding off her aura. the great gift of this sacred boon has run its course for the evening, and though she is not as grateful as she should be, she nevertheless acknowledges the extraordinary benefit it has afforded her with a slight nod to the mirror.

She has been using the lollipop Calliope gave her to get rid of any inhibitions and say whatever she wants in political conferences, without a care if she’s stepping on any toes or offending anyone. Wow. I was actually speechless for a moment. Using the trickster thing again seems like a stupid idea. I can only imagine what the sugary rambling was like. Hopefully it included 100% less paragraphs about having babies with literally all her friends.

however, while a great portion of the electorate adores jane’s elevated sense of charisma and presence when she is in trickster mode, as they should, there are just as many detractors who claim that the whole thing is “extremely problematic.” i doubt this is true but must also acknowledge it exceeds the scope of my expertise to comment on the subject.

JANE: Oh my goodness.

JANE: It’s NOT problematic!

Oh, it’s definitely a problem for your sanity, Jane. This whole political thing is starting to seem a chain of bad decisions, one after another.

Jane’s inner monologue almost looks like it was funneled into her by Dead Calliope, given how she’s praising the lollipop so much. Dead Calliope better not start imitating Dirk on this, thanks. A moment later, Jane tosses the lollipop on the floor, then turns around much to her surprise and places it on a more reverent place over the mantle. Dead Calliope really is forcing things when it’s convenient, too. Okay then.

JANE: You know, the last time we spoke about this issue I could have sworn you asked me to let you handle Jake.

DIRK: Hmm.

DIRK: I guess I did say that.

JANE: ...

JANE: Dirk, are you doing quite okay?

JANE: It’s very unlike you to forget details like that.

DIRK: I’m fine, Jane.

the prince is not fine. he is not the type who takes well to having his plans upended, or his control of a shared vehicle fully suppressed. my brother wasn’t much that type either.

DIRK: Oh, fuck off. I’m nothing like that guy.

It has been days, apparently. Days since Dirk and Rose met, days since he told Jane that. Dirk somehow forgot to go get Jake’s endorsement for days. He definitely is not okay. I thought you were good at multitasking, Dirk! Maybe Dead Calliope’s hijacking of his plans really hit him hard, but dang, I thought he wasn’t the kind of person that’d let miserable failures get to him. I mean, other than the miserable failure that led to him fading away into glitches in that doomed timeline, but that’s a different matter.

but certain objects and actions strike me as more notable than others. that very long, red rifle on the table, for instance. a weapon that does not belong to him and has not been used in a long time. he has been returning to the rifle between his other menial activities of probable misdirection. he dismantles it, reassembles it, slides off the receiver cover to examine the firing mechanism.

Sounds familiar. That was seen before, I think? I think it was made by combining one of Jade’s rifles with some of the Condesce’s technology, back from Act 6. It makes objects teleport, I believe. What could Dirk be planning with this, I wonder...

JANE: Actually, I have been thinking...

JANE: Perhaps this attempt to get Jake on our side is the wrong angle from which to approach this vexing problem.

JANE: Wouldn’t it be much easier to discredit or blackmail him?

JANE: He is much beloved in the Troll Kingdom for his carefully cultivated posterior, true.

JANE: But we both know that his bottom is not the only intimate attribute for which he is famed amongst Trollish citizens.

JANE: It would take almost nothing to expose his many dalliances through the human media.

DIRK: Hoo boy.

JANE: I know! Not to be judgmental, but his zipper is as loose as his pants are tight.

DIRK: That’s not what I meant by hoo boy.

JANE: You don’t think it would work?

DIRK: Oh, it could work.

That’d be such a way to break Jake’s heart and alienate him forever. If this is ever done, you can bet Jake won’t show his face to anyone ever again, whether it’s out of shame or feelings of betrayal. I suppose if he for some reason decides to support Karkaroni this is what Jane will do, but seriously, I hope things don’t come to that.

What makes Jake so marketable – supposedly – is that he’s viewed as innocent while also sexual, at least in the human circles. Discrediting that would break his influence on the human public. Somehow that makes sense, really, but it also has the danger of making it sound like interspecies sex is scandalous, which is...not really something that won’t inflame tensions between species. Wasn’t the point of this whole election that Karkaroni getting elected would make things tense? It’s starting to sound like Jane’s campaign would make things just as bad.

JANE: Dirk... do you want me to deal with Jake or not? You’ve offered nothing helpful yet, but you’ve shot down all my ideas.

DIRK: That’s because lately, all your ideas have been fucking terrible, Jane.

DIRK: Seriously. You’ve got to quit the tricksterpop. It’s rotting your brain.

He’s not wrong! He really isn’t. Jane, listen to him, he tends to be right most of the time – unfortunately for a lot of people he is. Dead Calliope takes offense to the insult to the cherub artifact, but seriously, Dirk is right.

After a baking metaphor and Dead Calliope making sure nothing will happen to the lollipop, the conversation ends, and Dirk focuses on the rifle. He’s satisfied with it. What’s he up to?

DIRK: Your ass is mine, Jake English.

he speaks under his breath inaudibly, perhaps frustrated, unaccustomed to scheming while others look over his shoulder. it’s possible he is not as bold, or as confident in his own designs as i believed.

DIRK: I fucking said, your ass is mine, Jake English.

Oh no! So that’s Dirk’s genius political machination! He’ll use the teleportation rifle to surgically remove Jake’s ass from a distance by transporting it to his workshop, getting rid of any influence Jake has on anyone! Okay, most likely that’s not his plan, but at this point I wouldn’t be surprised if it is. Let’s hope he doesn’t mean that literally.

JAKE: Ah chaps dont you love to take a rigorous jaunt about the wilds first thing in the morning, middle thing in the day, and last thing in the evening?

Said Jake, unaware of the shot that’d extricate his posterior in the blink of an eye—okay, I have to stop with that.

Apparently Jake is torturing Karkaroni by making him hike around in a freaking suit. That can’t be good! Is this something he’s doing to get Jake’s favor? Because if so then it’s not worth it! You couldn’t get me to hike in a suit unless you paid me a veeeeery large amount of money.

DAVE: hey jake were cool on the whole cardio program or whatever

DAVE: karkats not really what id call a kinesthetic learner

KARKAT: HEY!

KARKAT: I CAN HOLD MY OWN IN A THRESHING MATCH BETTER THAN 99% OF THE SQUISHY, PLACID HUMAN POPULATION ON THIS PLANET.

KARKAT: I WAS LITERALLY TRAINING TO BE A COMBAT SPECIALIST ON ALTERNIA.

KARKAT: MAYBE WE SHOULD SOMETIMES TRY TO REMEMBER AND *FUCKING RESPECT* THAT FACT ABOUT ME???

DAVE: hm

DAVE: gonna make another mental note about which material to avoid when writing your campaign speeches

DAVE: like

DAVE: dude is nuts with a sickle

DAVE: can carve a bloody arc through a surrounding circle of gathered squishy humans

DAVE: watch their guts spill on the floor while he roars at the sky in honor of his genocidal ancestors

DAVE: were kinda trying to downplay the idea that trolls are naturally good at violence and shit here?

Hm. Recently I found out the sharp edge of sickles and scythes are on the inside, not the outside, so I call shenanigans on the deadliness of a sickle when it’s about groups of people. Hah! But yeah, they better avoid anything that involves killing humans and how good the trolls would be at that with some training. Don’t say it aloud, you’ll give Jane ideas!

Apparently they hadn’t popped the question to Jake yet, they just did. Jake doesn’t seem very eager to give the endorsement, so Dave tries his hand at appealing to him by pointing out Jane owns the internet, and also that Jane has been saying some nasty things of Jake in the media. Wait, did Jane go ahead with her idea of ruining Jake’s good name? Oh god, she continued messing with the lollipop and lost any inhibitions about not doing that, didn’t she. That’s what happened, I bet. Goshdarnit, Jane.

By now I’m pretty sure ‘Jane Crocker has neoliberal austerity measures’ is the troll campaign’s slogan.

KARKAT: JESUS FUCKING CHRIST

KARKAT: I’M GOING TO SAY THIS FOR THE LAST TIME.

KARKAT: SWEET BRO AND HELLA JEFF IS ABSOLUTELY HORRENDOUS SUBJECT MATTER FOR PRODUCING CAMPAIGN ADS!

KARKAT: NOBODY KNOWS WHAT THE FUCK YOU’RE TALKING ABOUT, OR WHAT POINTS YOU’RE TRYING TO MAKE!

...ah. He’s using that surreal nonsensical creation of his to argue his points in the campaign ads.

...

Okay, Jane has the election in the bag. So much for being a savvy advisor, Dave!

At least Jake appreciates they’re not trying to disguise their appeals with a lot of pleasantries and sweet words, or trying to seduce him with blue dresses and scotch. After Karkaroni insults Jake half a dozen or so times to his face, Jake tries to settle things down by pretty much saying he’s not convinced yet and that he still hasn’t been given a reason to side with them against Jane, and Jane hasn’t given him such a reason either.

JAKE: Im not entirely ignorant of the rules of this jamboree. I understand that whoever i endorse will have a good chance of winning on nothing but my good word.

Jake definitely isn’t the smartest cookie in this baker’s dozen, but he’s not so dense he wouldn’t realize how desperate both sides are to try to recruit him, and he can pinpoint the reason. Good, he’s aware how important he is in this entire debacle, thank goodness.

JAKE: So why should i trust ANYONE trying to win my favor right now? Do you have ANY case to make which does not involve glowing accounts of my muscular bottom???

Quick, mention to him how you want a wink and double pistols instead of a picture of his ass, that’ll win him over.

Dirk comments spitefully Jake has no proactive thoughts – thanks for your commentary, Dirk, go away – and it’s up to Karkaroni to deliver the effective arguments to get Jake’s support. Oh, this is going to be good! Go ahead, show your oratory chops!

Karkaroni’s argument is that he’s not trying to pull the wool over Jake’s eyes, he’s not trying to hide his intentions or disguise things under a veneer of niceness. Jane is, and she’s more concerned with how things look than how they actually are. He has a point there, I think. Also, she’s holding an entire species’ reproductive rights hostage and that still resembles the Condesce’s actions too much for me to like it. To Karkaroni’s credit it’s a pretty good speech, I actually like it. Will it be enough to convince Jake?

he thinks it could break jane’s heart were he to oppose her. and yet, hasn’t she fired the first shot by broadcasting such scandalous things about him in the media? and it was so soon after they’d nearly had an intimate reconciliation. the more he thinks on it, the more jake struggles to believe in the sincerity behind jane’s friendship with him.

Oh god, she definitely is throwing mud at him. Jane, what the hell.

Until now he had been afraid of disappointing Jane and Dirk, but with Jane throwing stones at him and Dirk being insidious and thankfully far away from him right now, Jake decides he’ll do it: he’ll support Karkaroni. They did it! I’m actually surprised! Hopefully he’ll be able to do something before Dirk retaliates, but really, nice job, guys!

The matter of how much clout he’ll have left with humans is something that remains to be seen, as well as the intensity of Jane’s maybe-scandalous broadcasting about Jake, but this is a minor victory.

Hey, John, how’s it going?

Terezi is munching her way through another tin of human fatherly tobacco as john crawls into the back seat. this has been their ritual for several days. precisely how many, they couldn’t say.

...you know, for an injury that’s poisoned and almost fatal, John sure is lasting a long time. Are we sure it was as bad as it was said to be?

Since they have nothing better to do, John asks questions about how Terezi is the way she is, with her licking and smelling and eating tobacco as if it was chocolate. He says all of his conversations with her was a snark-off or a jokey argument – or that time she literally led to his death, lest we forget that. Somehow, John implied she’s difficult to be around, which isn’t really wrong, but...something I like of Terezi is that although she’s a bit exhausting, she has this way of talking that makes her fun to be around, most of the time. Ever since her pesterlogs that was shown pretty well.

All John wants is a real conversation, because he has been really depressed and antisocial these last few years, and although he doesn’t admit it to her, it was already stated pretty clearly he missed Terezi a lot. She’s here now! So he wants to talk to her. Although she’s really flippant about it, she appreciates it and calls John a dork in an affectionate manner. She may not show it often, but she really appreciates this kind of thing.

All this makes John reminisce about that doomed Game Over timeline, where Terezi bled seventy gallons of blood all over the place and collapsed in an outline made with her own chalk. She had been able to give him good instructions even though she was dying horribly, and John really admires that, he’s even a bit intimidated by it. Terezi admits she remembers that timeline too and is the reason she’s out here in the middle of nowhere.

TEREZI: TH4T DOOM3D T3R3Z1 M1SS3D VR1SK4 *SO* MUCH, 1T W4S L1K3 4 HOL3 1N H3R H34RT

TEREZI: 1 R3M3MB3R TH3 W4Y SH3 F3LT, B3C4US3 ON3 T1M3, 4LL H3R M3MOR13S C4M3 FLOOD1NG B4CK

TEREZI: 1 3V3N GOT TO S33 WH4T H4PP3N3D WH3N SH3 D13D

TEREZI: SH3 4ND 4NOTH3R VR1SK4 GHOST F1N4LLY FOUND 34CH OTH3R

TEREZI: 1T M4D3 M3 SO H4PPY G3TT1NG TO F33L TH4T, 4S 1F 1T W4S ON3 OF MY OWN M3MOR13S

Hmmmm...I suppose remembering all that made her want to look for Vriska, at least to feel again that happiness, because she feels Vriska and she have a connection of some sort. They do, that’s got to be admitted. Now she’s been unable to find Vriska and likely never won’t.

JOHN: you SAVED everyone!

JOHN: you’re the only reason we were able to defeat lord english and win the game at all!

JOHN: if it weren’t for you, me and roxy would have just floated around in paradox space like a couple of losers with no idea what to do!

JOHN: even worse, i might have tried to fix things MYSELF!

TEREZI: OH D34R GOD

JOHN: yeah!!!

Now that I think about it...he’s right. It was Terezi’s guidance what made the best canon timeline happen, without her it’d all have ended in the Game Over timeline. She did save everyone. Maybe things with the fight with Lord English would have gone better if she had been around to give them advice of some sort. If only.

It’s possible the reason why John has been staying in this car circling the black hole isn’t only because he doesn’t want to leave Terezi behind, but also because he doesn’t feel like Earth C is for him. Which is a sentiment I’m not sure I understand, I have to admit. They worked so hard to achieve it and he’s not happy with his life there. It’s strange.

TEREZI: WH4T 3ND3D UP H4PP3N1NG W1TH ROXY?

JOHN: i...

JOHN: dunno.

JOHN: we just sorta stopped hanging out regularly.

JOHN: then she got close with callie and i felt too awkward to try to figure out where our relationship stood.

TEREZI: R34LLY?

TEREZI: HMM

JOHN: what?

TEREZI: 1 JUST 4SSUM3D TH4T BY NOW YOU TWO M1GHT H4V3 GOTT3N TOG3TH3R

JOHN: really?

JOHN: why?

TEREZI: NO R34SON. JUST 4 HUNCH

TEREZI: 1 DONT TH1NK 1T WOULD H4V3 WORK3D OUT THOUGH

Right, it was a couple that had potential to happen. I wonder if it’d have worked out if they really had stayed together. Roxy seemed to really like him, it’s possible John going antisocial and depressed pushed her away. That’s tragic. Still, makes me wonder how that’d have been like if it had actually happened.

Now that he admitted he missed Terezi a lot, he asks her to come home with him. Better that than staying near the black hole doing nothing, no?

TEREZI: 1

TEREZI: 1M NOT R34DY Y3T

JOHN: when WILL you be ready?

TEREZI: 1 DONT KNOW

TEREZI: M4YB3 N3V3R

TEREZI: 1F YOU H4DNT FOUND M3, 1 PROB4BLY WOULD H4V3 D13D R1GHT?

TEREZI: 1S TH4T WH4T 1 W4NT?

JOHN: um, obviously not, dummy!

JOHN: if you wanted to die so bad you wouldn’t have...

JOHN: ...eaten all that disgusting shaving cream and tobacco!

I’m not very certain this is any good. Terezi hardly can be any healthier after eating all the shaving cream and tobacco. It could be she knows that and is just...eating stuff she knows she shouldn’t. But hey, Terezi decides John’s right, she’s not really looking for death. To me it seems she was looking for a meaningful relationship – doesn’t necessarily have to be romantic -- and thought Vriska would be the one to give it to her. Now John’s here, and he’s sincere about missing Terezi, so he’s a good option.

She seems afraid to let go of John, not even for him to get real food. She really is desperate for something meaningful.

now that he dwells on it, he can feel the ache again, both from the tooth piercing his flesh and, more insidiously, from the poison it has been delivering into his bloodstream.

For days. Least effective lethal poison ever.

Terezi isn’t really interested in leaving that tooth embedded into John and is ready to do some surgical operation with her katana. Hah! Oh boy, on paper this sounds like a pretty lousy idea, but it’s as good as it can get when they’re floating in a car around a black hole. May as well give it a try and hope he doesn’t die. Better plan than John’s ‘let’s let the tooth come out on its own’, plan.

She can’t even see/smell/hear anything because his shirt is over the wound! It’s almost laughable. That aside, how is the nasty wound from a poisonous tooth in John’s chest less gross than the description of he eating meat? I’m still scarred about that.

Terezi’s ready to do surgery with her sword, while John gazes poetically at her face and describes her as feminine. He’s really into her, seriously! The go-ahead is given, Terezi gets ready to dig in.

TEREZI: HMMM

TEREZI: 1TS LODG3D 1N TH3R3 PR3TTY GOOD

TEREZI: BR4C3 YOURS3LF 3GB3RT, TH1S 1S GO1NG TO ST1NG

John’s taking this admirably well already, for someone getting a sword between his ribs to take out a tooth I’m pretty sure is the size of a fist. I wouldn’t blame him if he passes out from the pain.

Once the tooth is out, now they have to stop the bleeding. She takes off John’ clothes, John is dizzy, Terezi is doing all the work here. She’s doing well, at least until John pulls her closer and gives her a kiss, because getting toxic teeth extracted from your chest makes you horny, I guess. Golly, John, you could have waited until she was done, at least!

Not that she’s not into it. She’s going into this with enthusiasm, she even lets John take off her shirt. You know, pretty amazing that in one plot there’s a whole lot of political nonsense, and on the other plot John and Terezi are getting romantic in a car. The disparity is so jarring, guys, I almost can’t believe it’s the same webcomic.

TEREZI: OH MY GOD YOUR BLOOD SM3LLS D3L1C1OUS

JOHN: woah.

JOHN: um, wow.

JOHN: ok...

JOHN: i think you’re really pretty, in... the light of the dead universe?

Smooth.

This page ends with them getting even more intense with their snogging. This went in some rather intense directions! When I started reading these epilogues none of this was even close to what I expected. Oh well.

I’ll continue next time.

Next time: next update

[clarenecessities]

spooky butterflies

Word Count: 1240 Rating: PG

Summary: fuck broccoli Chapter Warnings:  food tw, existentialism

last hurrah before the content blackout so enjoy this mediocre offering, it’s gotta last you two weeks

[First] [Previous] [Next]

Plagg swallowed the last of his bite with an audible gulp. “I can’t just be visiting an old friend?”

“Twenty minutes after the children’s school was attacked? Somehow I doubt it.”

“Alright, fine, I heard about the attack. Forgive me for taking an interest in my investments,” said Plagg, turning his nose haughtily in the air.

“Your ‘investments,’ apparently did very well for themselves,” said Sabine, pride and disapproval warring in her tone. “They managed to stop the attack before word had even reached us here.”

“Well, it’s no surprise,” purred Plagg. “I’m a very good investor.”

“Are we included in that category, or is it just Lady Luck and Jiji Junior over here?” asked Alya.

“Who’s Jiji?” asked Adrien. “Are they a dashing young—”

“It’s a cartoon cat, dude,” Nino broke in with a sympathetic grimace.

“Oh.”

“My categories are for me to know and you to never find out,” said Plagg. “That’s why they’re called categories, and not foxegories.”

“Wow, rude?” said Alya, very obviously not offended in the least as she steepled a hand over her heart. “I just wanna be included, Catdad.”

“I would like to stress once again that Plagg is not my dad,” said Adrien, pouting.

“And he’s not your uncle or anything? Not a distant cousin?” asked Alya, raising an eyebrow in challenge.

“Plagg was a close friend of his mother’s, dear,” said Sabine from behind her.

“How close?” asked Alya, turning her attention on Plagg. “Familiar close?”

“As if,” snorted Plagg.

“She had another familiar,” Adrien supplied, smiling down at his guardian. “I don’t know if he’s still around, though—I’ve sure never met him.”

“Honestly you lucked out there, kid,” said Plagg, “Every minute I spent with him was agony.”

“You say the same thing when you’re waiting for your dinner, Plagg.”

“Well maybe if some people would accept that cheese is a reasonable entrée, we wouldn’t have that problem!”

“You need vegetables to live!” growled Adrien, stabbing a piece of broccoli with his fork and jabbing it in a hissing Plagg’s face.

“I don’t need shit to live, I’m immortal!” he yowled, struggling against Adrien’s grip on his torso. “I’m a god on Earth, you little—”

Sabine plucked the fork, broccoli and all, from Adrien’s grasp, and the two instantly fell silent, looking up at her.

“That,” she said primly, “will do. What’s the word on your side of things, Plagg?”

“As best we can tell, it was whoever killed Nooroo,” he answered, sullen. “They absorbed so much of his power that it’s tainted any identifiers. We can’t even tell if it’s one of the aos sídhe.”

“Was it a booned item, though?” asked Adrien.

“Sort of. It was… incomplete. I wouldn’t even call it an enchantment, it was like… everything they took from Nooroo, they put into that umbrella. It was practically its own entity, but its will was all ‘Piseóg’. Like it was a living thing with only one purpose.”

“It seemed like it was taking over Aurore,” Marinette said quietly. Adrien blinked. He hadn’t thought about Stormy Weather having… a person, under there.

“Less possession and more ‘influence,’ I’d think,” said Plagg, tilting his head to one side. “Nooroo was a member of the Fairy Court. There’s no way a mortal, even a magical one, could handle that proximity without being overwhelmed.”

“So how is Piseóg doing it?” asked Alya from Marinette’s side.

“Well, either they’re immortal themselves, or—and this is more likely based on what we saw today—they have some kind of vessel,” said Plagg.

“What makes you say that?” asked Adrien, looking down at him.

“Putting the magic into an item like that, rather than just trying to take control of the girl outright—this is somebody who knows what they’re dealing with, and they’re doing what they can to keep it at arm’s length.”

“So if they had possessed Aurore outright, then…?” asked Marinette.

“Then she’d be dead,” said Plagg, with a grim finality that unnerved Adrien. “She’s an elemental, right? She would have just… she would have been amplified into the biggest storm this world has ever seen—and then she would have petered out, and there would be nothing left.”

“Does that mean Piseóg like, doesn’t want to kill people?” asked Nino uncertainly. “I mean I know they like, attacked us, but—if they just wanted to annihilate as many people as possible, Mega-Storm sounds like a pretty good way to go.”

“It’s difficult to say, unfortunately,” said Plagg, frowning. “Things got sort of tangled up with what the girl wanted. It’s possible that Piseóg just isn’t used to wielding this kind of power, and things will be made clearer—but as it stands, we have no idea why they chose her. It might even be that she herself is Piseóg, and things just got away from her. It’s impossible to tell who was influencing whom.”

“A man dreamt he was a butterfly,” said Sabine, drawing everyone’s attention, “flying from flower to flower. It was rich and convincing, lifelike in the most intimate detail. When he woke, he could never again tell whether he was a man, or a butterfly having a dream.”

“Loving the ominous anecdotes, Mme. Cheng,” said Alya, shooting her a thumbs up, “can we get the cliff notes on the moral?”

“Nooroo’s power was fundamentally about change,” Sabine explained with a patient smile. “Emotion and transformation. Whether or not Piseóg has their own motive, I think it’s safe to say that the reason Aurore was selected was because of her emotional response.”

“What, so if we have feelings they’re gonna get us?” asked Nino, paling beside Adrien. Noodles slid off of his fork with a dull splat.

“Not necessarily,” said Sabine. “If we’re right and this is the same individual who killed Nooroo, then they don’t know what they’re doing yet. They were probably feeling the same emotions as Aurore and sympathized with her cause.”

“What was she feeling?” asked Adrien, looking to Marinette.

“Angry,” she said immediately. “Cheated and jealous, but mostly angry. She felt she deserved something that was given to someone else.”

“So you think that’s how Piseóg is feeling?” Plagg asked Sabine, locking eyes with her. The two regarded one another for a long moment, before finally Sabine nodded.

“I do. Why, I can only speculate,” she said. “Though I’m hoping we’ll learn more before there’s another incident.”

“Do you think they’ll attack the school again?” asked Nino.

“There’s no way of knowing,” said Plagg, looking up at him. “Although if they strike anywhere, the best place to be is probably in that school. Lots of magic users around… apparently some pretty good students.”

“School has been cancelled for the rest of the day while the teachers sort things out,” Sabine reported. “They sent a message. You’re all perfectly welcome to stay as long as you like.”

“Thank you Madame, but I need to get home,” said Alya with a wry smile. “My mother is going to skin me and wear me as a stole when she finds out what happened.”

“I’m good,” said Nino, his own smile a polite grimace. “I think my room got a little exploded, so I’m gonna let the teachers sort that one out before I head back.”

“Plagg?” asked Adrien, looking down at his guardian with wide, pleading eyes.

“We can stay,” said Plagg, “but you’d better keep the vegetables away from me, boy.”