#oh to witness this song live in the dark

[mazzy-rockstar]

Listening to Iron Sky by Paolo Nutini

[eclipsedechoesofmywords]

"Pick One Moment"

[Spencer Reid x fem!reader]

Masterlist

Summary: A rough case in Dayton, Ohio brings unexpected emotions to the surface for you, forcing you to confront feelings you'd been hiding for years—feelings for Spencer Reid.

Warnings: Fluff, angst, moment of awkwardness

Word Count: 2.0k words

A/N: just based on the lyric 'And then I go and spoil it all by saying something stupid like I love you...I love you' from the song Something Stupid by Frank Sinatra because it's been stuck in my head. I've been planning to write Spence for a while but I've been intimidated.

Staying professional in Dayton, Ohio proved to be a challenge.

It had been a rough case, but what case wasn't, right? Just have to wrap this one up and you can go back to your house and dog.

Okay, fine, this wasn't like most cases at all, not to you anyway. This one had hit particularly close to home. And you didn't like that one bit.

This made you more short-tempered than usual, even snapping at a witness. After a lengthy lecture from Hotch, I mean from the look on his face you would think you had insulted him, he had 'benched' you by having you go through old files that might be related to the UnSub.

Hey, at least you got to do it with Spencer.

After working with him for so many years, you grew quite fond of him. Too fond maybe.

You stared at him going through files with a speed that should not have been human. 20,000 words at a minute, and you thought you were a fast reader.

"Got anything yet, Boy Genius?" you asked, flipping the page of your own file.

He looked up at you. God those eyes...

"No. This one isn't even related to it." he dropped the file on the table.

"Didn't you read the entire thing?"

"Yes," he replied, "It was interesting."

"You find everything interesting."

"Not true," he protested.

You rubbed your eyes, sighing. "Sure, Spence."

He tilted his head at you, a look of concern on his face. Adorable.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

You considered lying, you had been doing that the entire time you had arrived in Dayton after all, but decided against it. "Not really."

"Is it about your family? I thought this case might bring up some bad memories."

You couldn't help but smile at how quickly he had gotten it. "Yeah, something like that."

"Can I help?"

"Can you make memories go poof?"

He actually seemed to ponder it. "No. I'm not sure why you would want to."

"You never wish that you could just forget the bad stuff?" You knew what he had been through, you had seen quite a bit of it.

His brows furrowed. "I don't like the idea of forgetting anything. I mean, Mom forgets enough so I remember for her too."

You realized your mistake and winced. "Spence... God, sorry."

"It's okay," he reassured you. "You're remembering a dark time in your life, it can be overwhelming. Also explains you snapping at the witness, with your nerves on edge."

"Yeah?" You grinned. "It was going to be Morgan but the asshole left before I could. So collateral damage."

He laughed. "He's outside if you want to insult him now. I don't want to be collateral damage too."

"You? Never."

"Never?"

"Never," you repeated.

Oh, how you loved his lopsided grins. "Thank you."

"Always." If you could pick one moment to live in forever, it probably would've been that one.

Minus JJ coming through the door right then. "We got something."

You wanted to throw a file at her. Instead, you get up with a heavy sigh. The sooner you get this done the better, you had to remember that.

~~~

The BAU was heading back to Washington tomorrow, so you could leave this far far behind. Finally. This case taking up two weeks of your life was enough.

You sat at a cafe next to the hotel where you were staying. It was a cozy little place with a mostly brown interior and warm lighting. The scent of freshly brewed coffee and warm pastries filled the air.

You sipped your drink, feeling the cup's warmth in your hands. You had been coming here for the past few days and you had to admit, you would miss this place.

Just then, the door opened, and in walked someone you recognized, glancing around the room before spotting you. With a smile, Spencer made his way over, pulling out a chair across from you.

"Mind if I join you?" he asked.

You smiled back, gesturing to the seat. "Not at all."

He sat down and looked around. "So this is where you disappear to?"

You hummed in confirmation. "it's a nice place to think."

He stared at you for a while before nodding thoughtfully.

"What?" you sipped your coffee.

"Just... Are you feeling better?"

You shrugged. "Yeah, UnSubs behind bars. What more could I want?"

"Closure," he replied quietly.

You pressed your lips together tightly. "It's fine Spence. I'm alright with it."

"I don't think you are."

"Spencer," you said, a hint of warning in your voice, "You want to help, I get it. But not with this. Okay?"

It was an unspoken thing, the way Spencer always seemed to know when you needed space and when you needed someone to push just a little. He respected your boundaries, but there were moments—like this one—when his concern slipped through the cracks.

He sat across from you in that quiet cafe, watching you. You couldn’t tell if he was waiting for you to speak or if he was just giving you the time to process, as he always did.

It had been a rough case, yes, but that wasn’t why you were still here, staring into your coffee like it held all the answers.

Your eyes flickered up to meet his. He was still staring at you, quietly, as if he could see past your walls.

"Spence," you said, your voice quieter than you intended, "I’m fine. Really."

He didn’t respond immediately. His hand rested on the edge of the table, and you could see him fiddling with his fingers. That subtle nervousness he only ever seemed to show when he wasn’t sure what to say, but he knew he needed to say something.

"I don't believe you," he murmured, his voice soft but insistent. “I’ve seen you too many times to believe that everything’s okay, especially when it’s not. You’ve been holding it in, and I know that—"

"Spencer—" you started, but you were too late. He was already talking over you, his voice getting faster.

"Please. I just want to make sure you're alright, okay?" He sighed, his eyes briefly darting away before looking back at you. “I just... I care about you."

Everything felt very... loud. Too loud.

He looked at you expectantly, almost uncertain. Maybe, just maybe, he was waiting for you to make the first move.

You cleared your throat. God, you really hated moments like this, when everything inside you seemed to tremble at the prospect of just being honest.

His hand shifted on the table, and before you could stop it, you had reached out to touch his fingers. It was the smallest of gestures—barely noticeable—but it was enough.

For a long moment, you simply looked at each other, the conversation hanging in the air. There was so much unspoken between you, so much left unsaid. Maybe that was the problem.

Before you could stop yourself, the words spilled out of you, quicker than you could catch them. "I love you."

Spencer's face went completely still, his eyes wide as he processed your confession.

You had not meant to say that. You didn’t. It was an accident. You weren’t ready. You weren’t ready to put that kind of pressure on this, on him, on whatever this was.

But the words had slipped out anyway. You stared at him, feeling the heat rise in your face, hoping the ground would swallow you up.

"Sorry-God, I'm sorry," you quickly got up and rushed out of the cafe.

He just sits there. Frozen.

If you could pick one moment to rewind, it would be this one.

Oh, you fucked up big time.

~~~

You had never been more ready to get home, but unfortunately, there was an hour and thirty minutes on the private plane. With him.

Usually, you would spend an entire flight, after a case well done, talking to Spence. But after yesterday? But not this time. Maybe not ever.

You could feel Spencer’s presence beside you, but he was quiet. So quiet. Not the usual playful banter, no sudden bursts of random trivia or observations. It was almost like he was giving you space... or maybe he was just too uncomfortable to say anything.

Your eyes flickered to him once, twice, each time hoping for some indication of what he was thinking. He was staring out the window, a far-off look in his eyes, his fingers curled loosely around a book in his lap. For a moment, you almost felt the pull to apologize again, but the last thing you wanted to do was make him feel obligated to comfort you. You had put your foot in it already. Now, it was time to ride this out and pray it didn't become permanently awkward.

But Spencer, as always, was unpredictable.

"You don’t have to apologize," he said, his voice quiet, but it still carried across the cabin, cutting through the engine's hum.

You stiffened, eyes fixed on your lap. Had you been that obvious?

"I wasn’t going to," you said, a little too defensively.

He didn’t respond right away. You could feel him looking at you, the weight of his gaze making you want to curl into yourself.

“You know I care about you, right?” He said it so gently, like he wasn’t sure how you were going to take it.

You felt your chest tighten. Care about you. Those words. He was still speaking, still looking at you, but it was hard to focus on his words because everything was spinning around that one sentence.

"I do," you replied. You had to stop yourself from saying more—there was more you wanted to say, needed to say—but you couldn’t. Not yet. Not until you figured out where your head was at, where you both were at.

Spencer shifted in his seat. He didn’t look hurt, but there was something in the way he held himself. Maybe he was just holding back, afraid to push too hard, afraid of what that push might break.

You finally took a breath and turned to face him. He was still watching you, his expression a mix of concern and... something else. It was the something else that had you questioning everything.

"You don’t have to say anything," you added quickly, "I just...said something stupid. I didn’t mean to make things weird."

Spencer didn’t break his gaze, but a small smile tugged at the corner of his lips. Not his usual goofy grin, but something softer. More real. Something... intimate.

"It’s not weird," he said, his voice still quiet, "You’re not the only one who gets nervous around here, you know."

You blinked at him, genuinely confused. "What do you mean?"

His smile flickered, a small laugh escaping him before he adjusted his posture and leaned back in his seat. He seemed less tense, more at ease, "I’m just saying... I’ve had my own share of... feelings. I just didn’t know how to... deal with them."

Your breath caught in your throat. Spencer had feelings? For you?

The question hovered between you like an unspoken truth, but it seemed too risky to ask outright. Instead, you glanced down at your hands, the heat rising in your face.

And then, finally, you said something else, the words coming out quieter than you intended: "Do you think... we can just... forget it happened?"

You almost expected him to shrug it off, to offer a playful remark about how awkward it was or how maybe you'd both laugh about it someday. But he didn’t do that.

"No," he said softly. "I think maybe... we should talk about it. When we’re ready."

Your heart fluttered. Was this... was this him telling you he was ready? That maybe he wanted to figure it out too? Or was this Spencer, as usual, just giving you a window to process everything at your own pace?

You weren’t sure. You weren’t sure of anything. But you couldn’t deny the weight of his words, the connection that had always been there and that seemed to grow stronger the more time you spent together.

"I’m not great at talking about feelings," you admitted, looking over at him sheepishly.

Spencer chuckled softly, a breath of amusement. "Yeah, I’ve noticed."

You gave him a sidelong glance, your lips twitching into a reluctant grin. “Smartass.”

"Hey, you started it," he teased, finally breaking the tension just a little. "And I’ll finish it. But not right now. I think... we both need time to think."

You nodded slowly. He was right. You both needed time. The last thing either of you needed was to make rash decisions while emotions were still running high.

"You’re not mad?" You asked it before you could stop yourself, the doubt creeping in.

"Mad? Why would I be mad?" Spencer’s face was open and sincere.

"I don’t know. I just..." You didn’t finish your sentence. What was there to say? How could you explain the mess of emotions you were still trying to sort out?

He reached out across the seat, almost as if he was testing the waters, and placed a hand gently on yours. The touch was brief, but it sent a spark of warmth through you.

"I’m not mad," he said again, more firmly this time. "Not for that."

You were both quiet for the rest of the flight, but the silence between you felt different—more like an understanding, like a promise that when the time was right, you’d figure it out together.

It wasn't the one moment you would pick to stay in forever, but it was a moment you didn't mind being in for the rest of the flight.

[p0orbaby]

Do Not Disturb (Unless You're Drunk and Nosy)

summary: privacy? you wish

warnings: suggestive, alcohol, literally everyone being a little shit, angry ale (hot)

a/n: may or may not be inspired by real events…

word count: 1.6k

-

You always thought getting walked in on would be, you know, mortifying. Like, your face turns tomato red, you start stammering, and then you spend the rest of your life avoiding the person who caught you with your pants down—literally. But it turns out that, in reality, it’s way worse than that.

Here’s the thing: Alexia Putellas is perfect. You know this, because you’ve spent an unhealthy amount of time cataloging her perfections. Her perfectly toned legs that could crush a coconut. Her perfectly sharp jawline that could carve Mount Rushmore. Her perfectly soft lips that could silence an entire stadium with a single kiss. And when you’re drunk at a friends house party, it’s easy to forget that this perfection isn’t something you should casually indulge in right now, in a random upstairs bedroom, while everyone else is downstairs playing beer pong and comparing their World Cup tattoos.

But when Alexia grabs your hand and drags you away from the chaos, her eyes all dark and dangerous, any rational thought you have dribbles out of your ears like last week’s gossip. So here you are, in this bed—well, on this bed, because you didn’t even make it all the way under the covers—desperately trying to remember how to breathe while Alexia’s tongue is doing things that would make a priest reconsider his career choices.

You’re about to reach the kind of nirvana people write songs about when the door slams open. Not opens—slams. As if someone was just waiting for the right moment to ruin your life.

“Oh my God,” someone says in a tone that suggests they’ve just witnessed a murder, except, of course, that would be preferable.

Alexia’s head snaps up so fast you’re surprised she doesn’t get whiplash, and you have about two seconds to see the wild panic in her eyes before her entire body goes rigid like a cat that’s just been sprayed with water. She’s still on top of you, which would be hot if you weren’t currently wondering whether you’re legally obligated to register as a sex offender for being caught like this.

And who’s standing there in the doorway? None other than Jenni, who you’re pretty sure was voted “Most Likely to Show Up Uninvited” in high school. She’s holding a half-empty bottle of tequila in one hand and a phone in the other, like she’s been documenting the worst possible moments of the night, and this one’s going to top the list.

“Holy shit,” Jenni says, blinking as if she’s trying to reboot her brain. It doesn’t work, because the next thing out of her mouth is, “Is this a private party, or can anyone join?”

That’s it. You’re going to die. This is how you die. Not from the embarrassment but because Alexia is going to murder you both. You can see it in her eyes. She’s doing some very fast maths in her head, and it ends with Jenni’s body floating down a river somewhere.

“Close the door,” Alexia snaps, and it’s the first thing she’s said in what feels like hours. Her voice is sharp enough to cut glass. Jenni just stares at her for a moment, then at you—still half-naked, because of course you are—and then at Alexia again, like she’s debating whether the smart move is to leave or to stay and further ruin your life.

But of course, Jenni’s never been one for smart moves.

“Oh, no, no, no,” she says, waving her tequila bottle around like it’s a magic wand that’s going to make this situation less awkward. “This is gold. I’ve got to tell the others.” She turns around and yells down the stairs, “Hey, guys! Get up here, quick!”

You want to scream. You want to cry. You want to crawl under the bed and maybe live there forever with the dust bunnies and whatever sock the last person to use this room lost. But you don’t get the chance to do any of that, because Alexia has now flipped the fuck out, and she’s off the bed and across the room in a flash, slamming the door shut with enough force to rattle the windows.

“Are you insane?” Alexia hisses at Jenni, who looks like she’s genuinely surprised that Alexia isn’t finding this whole situation hilarious. “Do you have a death wish?”

Jenni, who’s clearly never learned to read the room, just grins, leaning against the doorframe like she’s auditioning for the role of “World’s Biggest Pain in the Ass.” “Hey, don’t get mad at me. You’re the one who decided to get frisky in someone else’s house”

You’re still lying there, half-dressed, your shirt tangled up with some lacy thing that definitely belongs to Alexia, watching the two of them bicker like you’re not even here. You could say something, of course. You could try to diffuse the situation, maybe crack a joke or two, but that would require actual brain function, and right now, all you’ve got is the mental equivalent of elevator music.

Alexia’s about to bite Jenni’s head off—probably literally—when, as if the universe wasn’t satisfied with your current level of humiliation, there’s a knock on the door.

“Jenni? What’s going on?” You recognise that voice. It’s Mapi, followed by a snicker from Patri and what sounds like Ingrid trying and failing to shush them. Great. Just great. Now you’ve got an audience.

Before anyone can react, Jenni swings the door open with the enthusiasm of someone who’s about to introduce a sold-out concert, and your teammates spill into the room like they’ve been rehearsing this all night.

“What the—” Mapi starts, then stops dead when she sees you, then Alexia, and then your clothes all over the floor like some kind of chaotic breadcrumb trail. Her eyebrows shoot up so high they practically disappear into her hairline. “Oh, wow”

There’s a moment of silence that’s so uncomfortable you could bottle it and sell it to masochists. You’re pretty sure you’re about to melt into the bed and become one with the mattress. Meanwhile, Patri has the audacity to wolf whistle, which earns her a glare from Alexia that could stop a freight train.

“So,” Ingrid says, doing a terrible job at hiding her amusement. “This is…unexpected”

“Unexpected?” Mapi echoes, looking at Ingrid like she’s just suggested that the earth is flat. “This is fucking hilarious”

Jenni’s practically doubled over with laughter now, leaning on Mapi for support, which only sets her off too. Pretty soon, all three of them are giggling like schoolgirls who’ve just found out their teacher’s dating the P.E. teacher.

Alexia is standing there, jaw clenched, probably wondering if anyone would notice if she threw them all out the window. You, meanwhile, have reached a state of embarrassment that transcends space and time. You’re floating above the situation, looking down at your life and wondering where it all went so horribly, horribly wrong.

“Can we not make a big deal out of this?” you ask, even though you know it’s hopeless. “It’s not like we were…” You trail off, realizing that there’s no good way to end that sentence. Not like you were what? Sorting laundry? Rearranging the furniture?

“Having sex?” Patri supplies helpfully, still grinning like she’s just won the lottery. “You totally were. We walked in at the good part, didn’t we?”

Alexia makes a strangled sound in the back of her throat, which is probably the only thing that stops her from committing actual homicide. “Out. All of you. Now”

But no one moves. Because why would they? They’re having the time of their lives. Jenni’s already pulling out her phone, probably to tweet something like “Just walked in on the most awkward team bonding experience ever #FML”

“We’re not going to let you live this down, you know,” Mapi says, her smirk so wide it’s a wonder her face doesn’t split in half. “This is going to be the story we tell at every team event from now until the end of time”

“Your kids are going to hear about this,” Patri adds, not even bothering to hide her amusement. “Hell, your grandkids. This is legendary”

You’re going to need therapy after this. Maybe a lot of therapy. But, honestly, that’s future you’s problem. Right now, you just want them to leave so you can salvage whatever dignity you have left and maybe finish what you started with Alexia—assuming, of course, that this hasn’t killed the mood entirely.

Finally, because even she knows when enough is enough, Jenni straightens up and nods toward the door. “Alright, alright. We’ll give you two lovebirds some privacy.” She winks at Alexia, who looks like she might actually be considering taking up a new sport just to avoid ever having to see Jenni again. “But don’t take too long. We’re going to need the play-by-play downstairs”

With that, they finally—finally—file out of the room, still snickering and whispering like they’ve just uncovered the juiciest gossip of the century. As the door closes behind them, you let out a breath you didn’t realize you were holding.

“Well,” you say, turning to look at Alexia, who’s now standing in the middle of the room with her hands on her hips and a scowl on her face. “That went as good as expected”

She gives you a look that could freeze hell, but then, after a moment, she sighs and shakes her head, a small smile tugging at the corner of her lips. “We are never doing this again”

“Sex?” you ask, and the horrified expression that crosses her face makes you burst out laughing. “In someone else’s house,” you clarify, still giggling. “I think that’s a solid rule”

She rolls her eyes but then moves back toward the bed, a mischievous glint in her eyes that tells you maybe the night isn’t entirely ruined after all. “Well, we’re here now,” she says, climbing onto the mattress and pulling you toward her. “Might as well make the most of it”

[mxrccuryy]

one of the girls, part two

part one | part two

♡ pairing mattheo riddle x reader ♡ summary mattheo thought that his life would be left unchanged after your departure from it. but oh god was he wrong. why did he see you everywhere? and why did he hate to see you flirting with others? why did he suddenly have the need to beat mclaggen’s face to a pulp after seeing him try to talk to you? ♡ wordcount 1445 ♡ warnings angst with a good ending, house not specified, cursing,  use of ’beautiful’ and ‘pretty, cormac mclaggen, cursing

♡ song somebody without you, oscar and the wolf

“mate,” theo sighed at his friend sitting next to him. “you’re still looking at her? it’s been weeks.”

the dark eyes of mattheo riddle only spared the boy a glance before going straight back towards your figure. 

theo had been right, it has been weeks since you realised that mattheo had played you. and since he made it very clear to you that mattheo riddle didn’t do relationships.

“shut it,” mattheo grumbled, his eyes going even darker. theo scoffed at his friends' antics. 

he had always found you beautiful but for the first time he witnessed how beautiful you really were. you were different from the others. you weren’t the first of the flings that mattheo had that lingered in his brain. but in some way being deprived of your attention was killing him. since he left you that day in the hallway, he had seen you everywhere. his eyes, somehow, were always drawn to you. you were glowing. 

it was clear to everyone at hogwarts that those feelings were not reciprocated. you were over him. you strutted through the hallways with your friends and wouldn't even spare the slytherin a glance. 

maybe that’s why he found you so intriguing. all the others never just straight up ignored him. that was his job. he was the one who shut people down and moved on in a day, not the other way around. so how dare you now, sit there all pretty, listening to that guy. 

He rolled his eyes as he watched how said guys twirled a piece of your hair around his finger. he cracked his fingers as he glared even more when you didn’t stop the guy.

the guy was a certain gryffindor, who loved to annoy quite literally everyone in every house, but he messed with the slytherins the most.

“Out of everyone,” mattheo said darkly, his eyes still shot daggers at the gryffindor. “why him?

cormac mclaggen had set his sights on you. most of the student body thought that you were very good looking but once mattheo was spotted talking to you everyone promptly decided to leave you alone. and even afterwards, when it was obvious to a lot of people that mattheo hadn’t let you go yet, they left you be. 

only mclaggen had the guts to still try and chat you up. and you were living for it.

it was true what they said, you were indeed over mattheo, but a part of your brain wouldn’t mind watching him crawl back towards you. so when mclaggen started talking to you, you saw how mattheo’s eyes changed. and suddenly, it became a game.

you always wanted to be the one who changed mattheo. maybe you could make him so jealous that he’ll actually come back to you.

and so for the next few days, you played along, not a single bone in your body was interested in mclaggen but you enjoyed angering mattheo too much for you to stop. 

It wasn’t until monday, of the next week that you realised that the game you were playing was a dangerous one. mattheo riddle wasn’t just a guy from slytherin, he was the guy from slytherin. a player and a fighter, and damn good one that. or so people thought.

during potions that day with professor slughorn, you realised that neither of the boys were in the class.

“hey,” one of your friends whispered to you when they watched you search for them. “have you heard what happened this morning?”

“no,” you looked at them confused, “what happened?”

“riddle,” your face changed to concern.

“what happened to him,” you asked, finding that your friend wasn’t answering fast enough.

“he got in a fight with mclaggen,” they whispered, looking away to write down things that slughorn was saying. “pretty badly too, i’ve heard. he’s with pomfrey.”

“mclaggen?” you asked them.

“no,” they said looking at you, “riddle, that’s why it’s so strange.”

this was unheard of. riddle losing a fight? mclaggen winning one? not only were you confused, you were really concerned. for some reason you found yourself responsible for it all. 

you knew that you weren’t. you were a single person, you didn’t do anything wrong by flirting with the guy. mattheo had no right to get angry at you for that. but then again, instead of being the bigger person and talking to mattheo when you saw the impact you had on him you decided to continue on messing with him.

that in itself wasn’t the big problem either, riddle hadn’t treated you very well either. leading you on for weeks before leaving high and dry in some hallway. 

before you realised it, your feet had taken you to the hospital wing. 

“can i help you, mss y/l/n?” pomfrey asked you kindly and after giving her a bullshit answer as to why you wanted to see riddle, you were let in.

“cat got your tongue, darling?” mattheo greeted you. you stood in front of his bed unable to utter a word. you still had no idea why you were there in the first place. what you were going to aks him.

“you look horrible,” you ultimately said, slowly sitting down on one of the visitor chairs. 

“you don’t look too bad yourself,” he chuckled. even though he was battered and bruised, he managed to keep his smirk present the entire time. the thing that bothered you the most was the way he stared at you and the way he didn’t look away. the intensity of the look was so strong you couldn’t hold it. instead you opted to look at the painting situated right over his head. 

“yeah, he did a number on me, didn’t he?” mattheo asked after you had been too quiet for him. he had heard your voice when you answered teachers' questions or when you talked to your friends close enough to him to hear. but he hadn’t heard you talk to him. and god, did he not know how much he loved you talking to him until you stopped. now that he finally had it again, he wasn’t going to let it go so easily. suddenly he had the urge to ask you the dumbest questions for hours, if it meant that you would talk to him.

“why?” you asked him, finally letting your eyes meet. he sighed and softly smiled. it was so miniscule that you almost missed it. 

almost.

“couldn’t stand him,” he growled slightly, “couldn’t stand him being around you. touching you,” 

you could tell he was angry. he couldn’t look at you. mattheo stared at the sheets covering his legs.

“why?” you asked shyly.

“you mean a lot to me,” he said looking at your eyes. oh, how beautiful they were. again he didn’t know how much he loved them until he couldn’t look at them whenever he wanted. “i don’t know how to be somebody without you.”

you scoffed. slowly you shook your head as you looked down at your hands in your lap. he continued to explain.

“i couldn’t stand you ignoring me, i couldn’t stand it.” he shook his head. his eyes were focused on the sheets once again. you’d never seen him this vulnerable. you’d never heard of it happening to anyone else either. “seeing you everywhere, every single day. it was horrible.”

“you have no idea what i would have done to hear that a few weeks ago.” you bit your lip. “but instead you made it very clear what you wanted.”

for a second it was quiet.

“I know,” mattheo spoke softly. that moment had replayed in his head over and over again. in the moment, he was so proud. he thought that you would be the one crawling back to him. but now here he was. 

“please,” he said. “please, give me another chance.”

you leaned back in your chair, you crossed your arms as you looked at the boy. even with a blue eye and a busted lip, he still looked so pretty to you.

“i fucked up,” he leaned forward, trying to reach for your hand.

you gave it to him.

“please, give me a chance,” he repeated. “i promise, i’ll be better. i’ll treat you better.”

he squeezed your hand.

“just, don’t,” he pleaded some more. “don’t go for mclaggen.” 

you laughed slightly after his plea. he spat that name out with so much venom it was almost funny. 

“i wasn’t really interested in him in the first place,” you squeezed his hand back as you slowly smiled at him. 

“oh, really,” the smirk was back on his face, he had won you back. 

“so you played me, darling?”

♡ taglist @leonesimp | @helendeath | @wxnterwidow333

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[lionheartedmusings]

once again rotating the qsmp and it's depiction of parenthood in my head and yeno i just... it makes me so deeply emotional it's not even funny? i remember conversations about "mothers and fathers" being the true qsmp theme song and i will die on that hill forever.

the thing that i find so poignant about it is that this was (as far as we know) never meant to be the story they were going to tell — the eggs were meant to come and go, a chapter in a story that would be looked back on fondly but one that was firmly over. and yet, the love. oh, the love.

it's so rare in media that we get such a raw and slow perspective of parenthood from the parents' perspective, to see the bonds forming and solidifying from "a responsibility that scares me" to "i would tear the world apart for you" — going back to vods of the first day of the eggs is wild, because they're filled with novelty and interest, but then time passes and we see love blossom.

we see love through grief too, like fit's voice when ramon lost his first life, or bad's screams when dapper had his nightmare, or the grief that came with trump, juana, and tilin's deaths. the desperation and grief of parents is an uncomfortable thing to witness, but in a medium like the qsmp it allows people to explore stories that are sometimes too heavy or too dark to portray in a less "goofy" medium.

we watched people's focus shift to their children as they embraced parenthood, especially in the face of loss, and we saw them accept truths that aren't pretty: if the eggs are there to manipulate them, okay. if they're a way for the federation to control them? fine. it doesn't matter, they're their children. they won't let go of them, not even if they're ultimately a means to keep them subdued.

the only time we've seen these characters truly lose their shit and rebel properly was when the eggs went missing, and that says so much. they'll almost accept losing their autonomy, but they won't lose their children.

it's been almost a year of the eggs, and they're the center of everything. every event, every game, every day — eggs are always the focus, whether it be in a "we need to protect them" way or a "i wonder what they want to do today" way. it's all about those kids.

meanwhile, we get to see these people be scared shitless, not have answers, be lost and confused half the time and not knowing how to handle every situation — they try their best, but time and time again they fumble and say the wrong thing, and have to apologise and try to do better next time.

it's so fucking beautiful, man. we see a day-to-day experience of parenthood and family (government assigned, found, chosen) that shows and movies can't give us because they're not a daily, breathing, on-the-go medium where we get to follow this one (or multiple bc none of us have lives) character through just... life.

in having this opportunity, we're privy to one of the most honest, human, and poignant depictions of parenthood and maturing that i've ever seen. we get to live this journey with these characters, and i'd bet a lot of money that that's part of why we're all so deeply attached to the eggs too.

long story short, storytelling is so fucking awesome and sometimes the most beautiful stories happen by accident.

[ironarrow87]

Won’t You Smile Just For Me?

Summary: You're having a bad few days. Your friend offers you a ticket to see the infamous radio host live. Can he help lighten your mood?

Warnings: Mentions of blood, implied death

Notes: Currently obsessed with Daisies by Black Gryph0n. Decided to make a a story out of it and shove dear lovely reader into it!

As always, please do not copy or post my work elsewhere.

You actually had no desire to be here. You’d rather be home, in bed, shutting out the world. It was your miserable attitude for the last few days that brought you here, in this audience, for a live show you had little interest in. Your friend had offered you their ticket, pushed it on you even.

“You’ll have a great time!”

“I don’t even know who that is!”

“You’ve never heard of him? Are you kidding? His radio show is so popular right now!”

“I dunno…I’d rather stay home. Didn’t you want to go?”

“You’ve been home for days! I’m worried about you. Please go. You’ll have a great time, I swear. Promise me you’ll go?”

“…okay. I promise.”

So, here you sat, alone in a crowd full of people. Your legs bounced with anxiety as everyone murmured in hushed excitement around you. Hunching your shoulders in an effort to get as small as possible, you hid your face in a cup of tea the staff had served moments before.

As you took a sip of the much needed warmth, you hear the crowd around you buzz with excitement as a man with brown hair and eyes, tanned skin, and a charming grin stretched across his face walks onto the stage. You lower your mug as you listen to him address the audience.

"Well, well, well, my dearest audience! A very good afternoon to all of you lovely souls! I must say, it is a delight, a true pleasure, to have such a fabulous crowd gathered here today—oh, the excitement! I can hardly contain myself!"

He bows and then spreads his arms wide when he stands back up. “Now, now, settle down! Allow me to introduce myself to those who do not know me. Although not knowing who I am by now is quite the feat, haha!”

You swear his eyes zero in on you, and your face burns with embarrassment. You try to hide your face behind your teacup again.

“My name is Alastor, and the majority of you know me from my radio broadcast.” He gives a little bow again, eyes flitting across the room before landing on you again. As if he knew you didn’t know of him. Not really. He broadens his grin to the crowd, twirling the microphone staff in his hands with the familiarity of someone who has done this hundreds of times.

“Now then, on with the show!

-

It was easy to see why people adored this man. Adorned in a tight fitted red satin vest and dark slacks, he easily captured the audience with songs and stories told in a velvety smooth voice. The charisma that radiated off of him had the audience hanging off his every word and tune.

Though you didn’t want to come in the first place, you found yourself dreading the end of this live in-person show. The very idea brought tears to your eyes as you thought of the empty lonely apartment that awaited you when it was over. To your horror, some tears raced down your cheeks, and you rush to rub them away from your cheeks in the middle of this public setting.

"This show, my friends, was about more than just entertainment! It's about the unforgettable moments that we created. The laughter, the drama, the wonder! The heart-pounding thrills that leave you questioning everything you thought you knew about good old-fashioned fun!"

Alastor’s energy was infectious, and you could feel the people around you just about squirming in their seats as the show drew to a close. “"Ahhh, my wonderful audience, how quickly the time slips away, doesn’t it? You know what they say, time flies when you’re having fun, haha!” He pauses briefly to allow the audience to laugh along with him. “The afternoon was filled with such delightful moments, such charming chaos, and yet—all good things must come to an end, I’m afraid. I do hope you’ll carry the memory with you—like a sweet little song you can’t quite shake, hm?" The crowd matches his suggestive grin as Alastor set the stage for his final piece for the afternoon.

You swallow thickly as his piercing eyes landed on you yet again. He gives you a little wink before starting in on his verse. “Hey pal, hey friend, hey buddy, why so sad, so downright unhappy?” Your heart stills in your chest at the words. He couldn’t be talking about you directly, could he? You follow his movements as he steps off the stage and into the crowd. The radio host moves closer to you, bending at the waist to sing inches from your face. “That's not my cup of tea.” Alastor’s grin widens as you flush. Straightening up, Alastor continues moving through the crowd.

“You know that this could be your last day here on Earth, so buddy please.” He turns, charming smile gracing his features. His eyes land on you once again, and he winks. “Won't you smile just for me?”

-

You really aren’t sure why you stayed long after everyone had filtered out. You tell yourself that its because the performance has you energized, that Alastor changed your outlook on the future, but honestly, its because you’re afraid to go home. Back to the sadness that seeps into your bones and makes you want to hide away all day.

You sigh, gathering your things and finally ready to trudge home when a voice stops you.

“My, my, still here after my show has long finished? I must have left quite the impression.”

Your startled gaze meets Alastor’s. You meant to be polite to this infamous radio host, but instead you blurt out, “What are you doing here?” Thankfully, Alastor laughs receptively to your question.

“I suppose that’s a fair question. I left something behind, and I didn’t want to worry my staff about collecting it so late after work hours. It was my own mistake, after all, silly me.”

You nod dumbly, unsure how to detangle yourself from this interaction. You clearly spend too long figuring this out because Alastor is already asking you another question.

“Is something troubling you, my dear?” The words are so unexpected, so jarring in this moment, that you felt tears spring to your eyes. You desperately scramble to hide your vulnerability.

“Ah...yeah. Why do you ask?”

Alastor tuts lightly, adjusting his bowtie briefly. “Come now, I’m very good at reading people, my dear. I can tell something is bothering you.”

His insistence in focusing on your distress causes a few tears to fall. You curse yourself for being so weak, for falling apart so quickly at a stranger’s concern as you hurriedly scrub the tears away.

To your surprise, his arms wrap around you and pull you close into his chest, as if he was sheltering you from the world from any danger. His warm embrace smelled of bergamot, leather, amber…and something you just couldn’t quite place. Something…earthy? Or maybe metallic? You’re pulled out of your thoughts as Alastor resumes speaking.

“My dear, my dear, no, you don't have to cry. That ain't a pretty legacy to leave behind.” You give him a watery smile as you recognize the lyrics from his earlier song.

“S-sorry,” you breathe out, stepping away from his hold. He waves you off.

“Nonsense, my dear, we all get out of sorts from time to time.” You nod in agreement, quick to end this social hell you’ve put yourself into. This man, so charming and kind, was trying to cheer you up, but here you were mute and near tears. Ridiculous.

Alastor lifts your chin suddenly, warm brown eyes behind wire bespectacles looking into yours. “You may not have to tell me about what’s running through your mind, dear, but perhaps I could offer you some sort of reprieve for a few moments? Let me show you the entertainment, the pleasures the world has to offer, hm?”

He offers his arm to you, and you hesitate just for a moment. The grin on his face is so kind, so eager to please, that you take the offer. “Excellent! Now, one more thing before we head off into our adventure together.”

“What’s that?”

He looks down at you, his height easily making you feel small before him. “Won’t you smile just for me?”

You give a tiny laugh. And you smile.

-

You just about forget all the things that have been worrying, stressing, and tugging you down into the depths of despair for the last few days. At least — for a little while. It was no wonder Alastor’s show was so popular. He had a way with showing you the magic in everything.

He walks you through parks and gardens, pointing out the beauty and weaving stories for you as you went. You barely pay attention to where you’re heading, and to be honest, you’re not sure you care right now. He made you feel safe, alive even. Like all the sadness had melted from your body.

"You know I just gotta say, that you might not have a lot of time to waste," he teased, pinching your cheek suddenly. "So lose that long face."

You bat at his hand, laughing, only to find a bright red rose in your face that Alastor had plucked straight from a bush. "Stop and smell the roses while you've got the time." He grins as you inhaled the lovely floral scent he offered you. "Pretty soon you'll be pushing up daisies where the sun don't shine."

You blink, startled by his words, but eventually laugh as you take it to be more teasing from the radio host. Or at the very least, some wisdom he's trying to impart on you about life.

Alastor laughs with you as he guides you onto a forest path.

-

You have no idea how long you have been walking. It feels like forever, and somehow, like no time at all. Alastor did a great job entertaining you through your entire journey, hands animatedly moving as he recounted stories of his life through the entertainment industry. You hang onto his every word, desperate for a distraction from your own life. Besides, how lucky were you to be spending time with such a celebrity? You'd have to thank your friend for the ticket they forced on you.

Deeper and deeper into the woods, you start to really enjoy the woodsy smells, the sounds of little animals and birds flitting about, and the rustle and crunch of leaves as you you both made your way through. You had long run out of the typical paths, exploring uncharted territory together.

"Oh ho! What's this?" You follow Alastor's gaze to a little wooden shack just ahead. You shift uneasily beside him, the sun setting causing shadows to cast an eerie air around the small hut.

"Ah...I dunno if we should head over there. What if some lunatic lives there?"

Alastor laughs loudly beside you, making you jump a little. "My dear! Where's your sense of adventure? Let's just take a little peek!" He looks to you, eyes searching, hopeful, but ultimately leaving the decision up to you. You felt your fear slip away at his expression, nodding your assent. He grins at you. "Fabulous, dear!"

He leads you up to the door, and you felt a sense of unease as the door easily swung inward with a gentle push from Alastor's hand. Still, trying to be brave and prove yourself worthy of the radio host's time, you follow suit with a big grin on your face.

It died just as quickly as it came about.

On the walls of the little hut were rows and rows of fixed smiles upon placards. Little name tags adorned the jawbones and teeth. Vox. Valentino. Husker. Anthony. So many names that made your head spin.

"W-what..." You choke on your words, bile rising in your throat. What the hell did you both stumble upon? "Alastor...let's get out of here!" The panic was evident in your voice as you turn to look at your new friend.

Your new friend who had his back to you, hands moving as he cleaned something.

Your new friend who turned, brandishing a newly cleaned axe, tossing a red stained towel to the ground.

Your new friend whose glasses glinted with the last of the light from the setting sun.

"Alastor?" you ask, voice strained, small, and full of fear.

He grins.

"Run."

-

Your lungs burn as your race your way through the trees, blinking back panicked tears. Only now you recognized all the warning signs you blissfully ignored in favor of temporary relief. The narrowing of his gaze during his performance. Tracking you through each set. Marking his target, who was obviously attending his show alone. Conveniently coming back when you were by yourself. The sharpness of his grin when you agreed to come along with him. The smell of blood on him. Or was it metal blades? Maybe the forest earth? Maybe it was all of them.

You had been so foolish.

You pant behind a tree as you try to force oxygen into your lungs, listening for your hunter. That's what he was after all, wasn't he? And you?

His prey.

You hear branches snap in the distance. Then some whistling. Humming even.

"None of us are here to stay, so treat every day like it's a holiday. Until the day you slip away." To your horror, you realize he's singing more of his song. He's taunting you. Telling you how he's had this planned since the beginning.

You start running again.

-

"Tsk, my dear, my dear, no, you don't have to cry."

You stare up at Alastor, frozen in fear, knees stinging from where you hit the ground. Your back was pressed up against a rock wall. Trapped.

"P-please. Don't hurt me." You swear you see his canines lengthen in his toothy grin as he advances toward you. He continues as if you weren't begging for your life before him.

"That ain't a pretty legacy to leave behind."

Your heart is beating erratically. It may give out before he even has a chance to hurt you. If you were so lucky.

But you both knew you weren't.

It was as if time slowed as you watched Alastor, the infamous celebrity, the radio host, the adored entertainer, raise the axe above his head. And for a brief moment, his eyes and hair seem to gleam red.

"Stop and smell the roses while you've got the time."

It was over quickly. A sharp pain. And then blackness. A mercy.

Alastor laughs, ignoring the sound of dogs in the distance as thrill thrums through his veins. He savored the blood pooling on the forest floor. Your smile was going to make an excellent new addition to his collection.

"Pretty soon you'll be pushing up daisies where the sun don't shine."

[chaos-mix]

The Choices the Stars Make - 14th Doctor x reader

Summary: The Doctor promised you the stars when all you ever wanted was him. What happens when he’s finally ready to settle down? Will he reach out and try again?

Word count: 818

~~~~~~~~

You pull your blanket up higher as you turn to watch the stars shinning through the living room window. It does little to soothe the aching of your heart as your mind keeps spinning in “What ifs?”. What if you hadn’t left the doctor? What if you hadn’t asked him to stay?

You shake your head at the unfairness of the situation, turning your back on the cold stars, facing your laptop screen.

You squint at the brightness. The universe has never been fair. It wasn’t when you watched people crying out for your help die, and neither was it when you were forced to confess your true feelings to the Doctor. His discomfort and shift in body language did not surprise you, nor did his lack of touch in the weeks that followed. You just wish he hadn’t taken all of the joy of the night sky with him when you left.

Focus. You told yourself, but your heart sunk further, your fingertips getting cold on the plastic mousepad.

Observational Astronomy. A dry laugh forces its way out of your chest, making you feel hollow. You used to dance around the surfaces of planets, experience the sights never seen, the Tardis translating the x-ray and ultraviolet light spectrum for your eyes to witness true beauty of nebulas … now you’re finishing up a paper on observational astronomy and the photographs were in black and white. Life is funny like that. It feels like life lost some of the colour too. You wish it wasn’t 2am, life is easier to handle when you don’t have to stay up at night to work on something. Especially something that reminds you of him. Days are easier, warmth is easier. Warmth reminds you of joy of adventure, his hands, the kindness. Not his eyes when he left you.

~~~~~~~~

The Doctor did not seek you out. He did not wander the streets close to your house for too long. He did, however, made sure that no threats lingered close to your apartment at all times.

At least until his old face returned.

Oh so many regrets felt thrown back at his face. What he wasn’t able to give. The loved ones he lost… He grieved Rose for a long, long time, even after you met him. That same grief drove Martha away. Donna… River Song… He should have been able to save them all. How could he protect you if he couldn’t even keep his life as John Smith? And you knew. You saw him fall in love, you saw him live a normal life. He knows he hurt you beyond forgiveness when he grieved his human life and yet, despite all of that grief, did not choose to build one with you.

Seeing Donna again had him longing for the old days. The days of the three of you jumping through the universe, watching the joy on your faces! That was until the Earth got taken over by the Master he forced your feelings out in the open. Doctor could not deal with reliving his past through you. He couldn’t stomach losing you. He couldn’t make Donna go through the same darkness that Martha did when he was still grieving. Not to even mention Time Lord Victorious. His biggest regret. At least you were saved from watching it happen.

But now… now that he did not need to save the universe… now that he had someone else to entrust it to and now that the biggest decision of his day was how to protect the moles from Wilf… maybe he could give you the life you wanted after all.

~~~~~~

Your phone buzzed one day after the lectures and you instinctively answered it, expecting it to be one of your parents checking in. It was a rash decision you made to switch universities, but with all the stress of studying medicine and the flashbacks of lives you couldn’t save, switching to something familiar was an easier choice.

“Hello, yes, I’m still studying astronomy. No, I will not end up starving in the streets when I’m done.”

“…So you decided to study the stars?”

That… was not a voice you expected. Not that you would ever in a million years expect the Doctor to call you. He was someone who buried down feelings. He did not call ex-companions, only companions in trouble called him.

“… Doctor?” You chocked up. Funny. You planned to say so many things during all those sleepless nights and now all you could manage is “Is something wrong?”

On the other end of the line, the Doctor smiled a lopsided smile. It didn’t reach his eyes, but the words warmed his hearts. He still had time to turn back. He could run away and never look back.

But that soft kindness in your voice, even after all these years…

“Would you have some time to meet an old friend?”

[gauloiseblue]

I'm Only Flesh and Blood

(König × Reader)

[Dead dove: do not eat | MDNI]

TW: rape, non-con, imprisonment, death, violence, overall dark theme

(I don't know why, but this song just resonates with the story, not because of the lyrics, but the way he sings it.)

You were in the wrong place at the wrong time.

You didn't realize there was a war on the horizon, before it all fell down upon the city.

Between the rumbles and the upstanding pillar, you coughed as the dust surrounded you.

You screamed for help, as the shattered walls trapped you in, leaving no space for you to move. You did it over and over again, until your throat scratched. Yet no one came to rescue, no one heard you scream.

When the night fell, you curled up your body, trying to find warmth in the harsh structures. There's no light that could reach your place, you only knew if it's daylight when the temperature rose up slightly, although it soon blurred as you lost track of time.

You were starving, your lips were cracked and split open. You thought you'd die like this, until you heard a heavy stomp of a boot.

There was a sound of a man shouting above you, and a heavy thud soon followed. You didn't have the energy to speak, as you watched a little light come through the rubbles. One by one, the wreckages were lifted, and you winced at the glaring light upon you.

There's a shout, and more shouts followed after in a language you didn't understand. You covered your eyes to see a soldier stretched his hand to you. Just like a fool, you reached up to him.

The event that unfolded between the rescue and the medical help was fuzzy in your memory. What you knew was, you woke up in a cold room, with men in uniform by your bed.

They asked you your name, and basic questions that you weakly answered. After they wrote it all down, you heard them mumble the word 'foreigner'.

"Where am I?" You asked them with a hoarse voice.

"Hospital." One of them said, before they both left the room.

Your brows furrowed, as you sensed something's off, but can't pinpoint what it was.

When the doctor declared you've made a full recovery, you were immediately brought to a different building. The man took you to an office, where a hunched figure in a mask sat at the desk.

He shooed your escort with a wave, and he left the room without a sound. Leaving you with the big man.

"What's your name?" He asked with a strange accent.

"(Name)." You responded.

"They said you're not from here." He stood up, and you witnessed the full glory of his height, "Visiting?"

You slowly nodded, nothing to add.

He shot you a sneer, as he walked closer to you, "You didn't know there was a conflict?"

"No," You lowered your head, "I thought it was safe."

You saw his polished boots as he stood in front of you, before he lifted up your chin so you'd face him.

"You're lucky you're inside the ruin, you know." He began to speak with malice slowly dripped out of his mouth, "Your kin were mostly dead or imprisoned. The women were raped, and the men were skinned alive. But you're still alive. You must be lucky."

The grip on your jaw became harder, and you whimpered, both from fear and the pain.

"Don't worry, I'll take care of you."

He let go of your face, and you immediately took a step back with your legs trembling. Your gaze was down, and you couldn't see the smile on his face. He walked past you, and you heard the door open, before a soldier took your hand and led you through the hallway.

In the other room, you met several girls with the same expression as yours—scared, confused, unsettled. You stood beside one of them, and watched as the soldier left.

The girl turned to you, asking your name.

"It's (Name)."

"Oh." She responded, "Where were you from?"

You told her the name of your hometown. "You?"

"I lived in the neighboring country." She smiled, "I'm Nina by the way, nice to meet you."

You returned the gesture.

"Do you know why we're here?" You asked.

"I'm not sure." She said as she rubbed her neck, "But I overheard the soldiers referring to us as flowers, I'm not sure what that means."

"Flowers?"

"Pretty flowers, in fact." She clarified, "One of them even said exotic ones. I just hoped it's not what I think it is."

You opened your mouth to reply, but the conversation was interrupted by the opening door.

There's a man striding from the door, and stopping on his track to see the people in the room. He scanned them one by one, before he turned to the soldier on his side.

"Which one is the Colonel's girl?"

The soldier looked at you, before leaning in to whisper.

"Hmm," He let out a displeased grunt, "Well, take her away then. There's no point in choosing her when she's off the list."

The soldier said something to him, but he dismissed him.

"I don't care, take her away."

He pressed his lips together before he nodded.

"Come." He said to you, and Nina immediately grabbed your hand.

"Don't go." Her eyes were wide as she told you, and you were alerted by the fear in her face. But you didn't have the time to process it, as the man ripped you away from her, dragging you out of the room.

"No—" You tried to protest, "Let me go."

He stayed silent, while his hand was planted on your arm.

"Where are you taking me?"

"None of your business."

"It's my business to know."

"Shut up."

The two of you arrived outside, where he quickly called a car to the lobby. As the car parked, he opened the rear door and shoved you inside.

The door was already closed by the time you shouted at him.

The whole ride was silent, as you bit your nail, trying to make sense of the situation. You tried to look out the window, figuring out where the driver's taking you. Though you found nothing, not a single clue.

It took perhaps 15 minutes before the car parked in front of a house—a big house, in fact. At the front door, you met another man in military uniform. He didn't say much as he let you in, before locking the door behind.

It took a minute for you to process what happened, before you knocked on the door, asking why you're here. Again, you received no answer.

Deciding it's not worth the time, you began to roam around to find a way out.

It's a two-story house, with a big dining hall and equally big kitchen. It has a study room, and a meeting room right beside it, the two rooms were connected by a door. They looked like they've been used recently.

Upstairs, you found the bedrooms, as well as the bathrooms. There's a door leading to a balcony, but it was locked.

When you came back to the first floor, you tried your luck in the study room. It was full of papers, and you skimmed over it. But it's all written in a language you didn't understand, so you decided to move to the drawers. But as you bent down to reach the handle, you heard an unmistakable voice coming from the door.

"Don't touch that."

You lifted your head to see the same man you met in the office. He was leaning on the frame with his arms folded, watching you intently behind the mask.

"Curious, aren't you?"

You looked down to avoid his stare, "I'm sorry."

He took the time to examine your face, before he spoke, "I was planning to take you home with me, but it seems like my lieutenant sent you away without my permission."

"What do you want?" You asked him through gritted teeth, "You're not planning to send me back home, aren't you?"

He smirked, "Clever thing." He said, "Do you really wish to know that?"

You kept your glare at him as he explained.

"You see, you're still officially missing, and it's not our job to report every single person we found." He walked toward the bookshelves with his hands on his back and his chin up, "So if we found someone, it's our right to keep them."

He pulled a file from the shelves, and threw it onto the table.

"It's yours." He told you, "Go on and read it."

You looked at him with disdain, before you flipped the file open. There, you found all of your private information—the copy of your and your parents' IDs, your bank accounts, and detailed information about your background. Although it's written in German, you knew it from the written dates and a few familiar names.

"Do you understand now?" He spoke in a low tone, "You have no choice."

He left the room as you froze on the spot, unable to bring yourself together. The soldier by the front door took you to a bedroom and locked the door behind as ordered. Leaving you alone, at a loss.

You stared blankly at the window, and took notice how it's screwed shut. Even if you were to break the glass, it's already lined with railing. The same applied to the small window above the toilet, and you saw no possible way out in the bathroom too.

Maybe you could open it with something, something that resembles a screwdriver.

When the sun had set, you heard the lock turned, before the soldier entered with a tray and a jug of water. He set them down on the nightstand, before leaving without a word once again.

You looked at the food, and you had no appetite despite your stomach growl. You didn't touch the plate, but filled up the glass with water. That was it, that's your dinner for that day

At night, you couldn't sleep. You could hear the clock ticking, reminding you that you're still here. Pretty much alive.

20 minutes past midnight—you knew it from the toll of the grandfather clock outside—you caught the sound of the door opening, then closing. It came from the room beside you, the master bedroom.

That night, he spared you from the dreadful ordeal of sleeping together. But your luck was running thin after the third day of your stay.

You were laying on your bed with your thoughts, before the door of your bedroom opened. Your blood ran cold, as you heard a heavy step entering the room, and went towards your place.

The blanket rustled, as the man slipped inside. He settled into the bed, before pulling you into his chest.

Your heart beat hard against your chest, and you began to feel yourself sweating. You knew Fortuna frowned at you when he slid his hand under your neck, pressing his fingers on your pulse.

"You're still awake, aren't you?"

You bit your lower lip, and slowed down your breathing. All was an useless attempt to calm you down.

"Don't worry, I won't touch you tonight."

You took a sharp breath as you caught the meaning of it. It made him chuckle, as he buried his face into your nape.

"But if you try something funny, I can't guarantee that to you."

Your body turned cold when the words left his mouth, to the point that you stayed still, petrified by the threat.

He did keep his promise, as he fell asleep right by your side. Perhaps if you're a bit braver, you could lift his hand and escape that night, but his words hung on your head, as if it's a guillotine that'd fall on you if you moved an inch.

You didn't sleep that night. Drowsiness only came to you after hearing the birds singing, signaling the first arrival of the sunray. And you were too tired to notice the way he stirred, as it went closer to his waking hour.

In the afternoon, you found yourself alone in bed, with the door locked, and the breakfast on the table.

You survived that night, but it didn't mean you'd make it on the other days.

Unfortunately, it came sooner than you prayed.

It was your fault, you were careless. You thought he wouldn't pay any mind to a missing cutlery, but he did.

At the dinner, he asked you to accompany him at the dining table, and you sat there, blissfully unaware of the impending torture.

As you chewed the tender steak, he announced his concern about the lack of butter knife in the dishwasher.

You stopped at your track, as your body tensed up. The meat stayed in your mouth, as your throat tightened up, closing your chance to swallow.

"Did you think I wouldn't notice?" He asked with a cold glare, "Did you think I'm stupid?"

You kept your gaze to the plate, as the alarm blared in your head.

"Answer me!" He slammed his fist on the table, and you flinched away in fear. The reaction caused you to choke, forcing you to cough out the meat into the napkin.

"I'm sorry." You whimpered, while gripping your hand so it would stop shaking. "I'm sorry."

For a moment, you thought the time had stopped for you. Until you heard the chair moved, and he stood by the table.

"Hands on the table." He retorted, and your body obeyed him without delay.

You jumped when he threw away your plate, sending it and the cutleries to the floor as it shattered upon the contact. You began to feel unsteady, as the panic was rising from your chest.

He stood behind you, and you trembled as you heard the sound of a zipper.

That was the day you found that he'd use sex as a punishment.

He made sure that it hurts, and left you bleeding, he'd render your legs useless by bruising your hip and insides, as he rammed his cock against your core. You screamed at him, begging him to stop, but he kept going until he ripped the orgasm out of you. By the time he finished, you're entirely spent, as you curled up on the floor.

In daze, you felt yourself being picked up, before laid down on the mattress. Leaving you wondering about it in the morning.

He was cruel, but he took you to the bedroom instead of leaving you. He was merciless, but he bothered to put a few medicines on your tray.

You didn't understand him, and you didn't like it one bit. You had a hunch that it couldn't be that simple—that he felt guilty, or he felt the need to take care of you.

To your disdain, he continued to do it for weeks. He helped you up, and gave you the medicines every morning. He kept it as a routine, until you could stand on your feet again.

While your body's recovered, the phantom pain still throbbed between your legs. Reminding you of the consequences for your misbehavior.

The memory of it kept you in line, as you unconsciously complied with his demands.

That was, until his demand became more outrageous.

It seemed that he was testing you—putting you through unnecessary trials of whether you would obey him or not. He'd put a choker on you. He'd ask you to get on your knees, and put your head on his lap. He'd tell you to sing, while his finger slipped inside your panties. He'd place you on his desk, and told you to spread your legs while he watched you pleasure yourself. He'd force you to watch an erotica without your pants on, so you'd leave a stain on your chair. He didn't ask for sex, but what he requested was way more improper, to the point that you felt dirtier after doing it.

And he seemed to be pleased by it, he delighted in your humiliation.

He also got off on your fear.

He'd play a cat and mouse game with you, and he'd scream threats that'd set you running. He knew you're scared of him, and he used it to his advantage. And when he caught you, you'd be forced on your knees as he shoved his cock into your mouth.

You're aware that there'd be an escalation from the moment he declared he'd take care of you, but you weren't prepared for the level of depravity he possessed.

The way he'd threaten you with sex, and soothe you with aftercare, it was too much.

One day, you sobbed as you begged him to end it all, with your tears running down your face. But he just sneered as he rubbed his member against your clit, forcing you to watch as your body trembled when you came for the fifth time.

There were times when it's all quiet, when he was wrapped up in his work. Those were the times where you could gather your thoughts, and planned for a possible escape.

You knew about his gun collections in the study room, you just needed the bullet. You couldn't really escape through the front door, except when it's night. So you began to devise a plan.

In the back of your mind, your rationality told you it's impossible; that even if you killed him, his affiliates would catch you so easily. You have nowhere to go. But you shoved it back into the water, as your feeling thrashed inside your chest. You need to go. You need to get away from him.

Fortunately—and unfortunately—you found out the answer to your plan.

He hosted a house party with all of the soldiers. Some of them were recruits, and some of them looked like they're on the same level as him, judging by the presence of a pretty partner on their side.

You were given the role of a quiet escort, and you were allowed to leave his side only when he told you so. You wrapped your hand around his arm, as he greeted his guests.

The last friend of his came a little later, and your eyes were widened as you saw a familiar face. It was Nina.

She looked thinner compared to the last time you saw her. Her eyes were hollow, and her face was pale, with the exclusion of the red mark on her cheek.

You had the chance to talk to her when they all sat at the dining table. While the men were talking over brunch, you made your way to her and stood beside her.

She was quiet, and you doubted that she heard you, but it only lasted for a moment before she muttered out I'm fine.

"He slapped me this morning because I forgot to brew his coffee." Her lips trembled as she spoke, "But he told me to prepare everything for the party last night, of course I'd forget it."

Your brows furrowed with sympathy, as she continued her snivel, "I should've felt grateful that he only slapped me. The other girls—the other girls got it worse. But I—everything I did was wrong in his eyes. I don't—I'm so sick of it."

She quietly sobbed, and you took the initiative to pull her aside, guiding her to the restroom.

In there, you got the full length of her story.

The man who took him treated her as a housemaid, but never addressed her as such. He'd shout at her constantly, and he'd shove her face against the counter, forcing her to look at the little dust spot she missed. At night, he'd force himself upon her, with little to no preparation. And when she tried to escape one time, he brought home the head of her mother. The only family she had left.

You didn't know what to feel, but you could see that she got it worse than anyone.

You tried to soothe her, but you knew the wound was larger than you could stitch. It could never be healed.

As you both returned to the dining room, you found the table empty, as the men had already moved to his study room.

And your heart triumphed when you saw the key in his hand, as he opened the locked drawer to fetch something vital for your escape.

The bullets.

You watched him as he slipped them one by one into the old revolver. You burned the image of it in your head—the silver, big barreled revolver.

He then invited everyone in the room to walk with him, with the intent of showing a demonstration.

"This thing is a beauty, a wild horse," He remarked as he exhibited the firearm, "You need to learn to tame it before you ride it, or she'll kick you off the mount."

The men laughed, as some of them added an equally filthy joke. He chuckled before turning his body and stretching his arm to aim at the target.

There was an apple on the fence, on the far side of the garden. And the red fruit stood still, before it exploded as his gun went off with a bang.

The men cheered, applauding the magnificent show that you couldn't understand. Why did they praise it? Wasn't a gun supposed to do that?

You didn't have the time to ruminate, as you heard your friend whisper under her breath.

"He loves you."

The chatter from the men almost drowned her voice entirely, that you had to double-check your hearing.

"What?" You asked her.

She turned her face towards you, and a tear rolled down on her cheek. The sight of her stunned you, as she reached to touch your cheek.

"He never took his eyes off you." She muttered as she leaned closer to you. "I'm sorry."

For a moment, you thought you felt her lips brush against yours, as she pulled you into a kiss. And you almost taste the wine in her tongue, until a sharp shrill flew past you with an incredible speed. Before you knew it, you were on the ground, with her body slumped against you.

You sat there, watching the open side of her head as it dripped dark fluid into your dress. It was warm, and slowly seeped through the fabric, spilling over your thighs.

You didn't know who was screaming.

You couldn't remember how long exactly before they removed her body from you. The party must be over since the men took you to your room, leaving you alone as you sank into your chair. Your hands couldn't stop shaking, as you saw them stained with red.

What happened to your dress? It was supposed to be white, wasn't it?

You stared at your knees, as the image of her head was still fresh in your mind. You felt your vision narrowed, as if you watched yourself through the third eye. You weren't there, you were still on the ground, with your friend's head on your lap.

The door was opened, but you didn't notice it. You didn't notice any presence, before a hand softly landed on your shoulder.

You jumped out from your chair, almost shouted for the second time, if not for his embrace.

It caught you off guard, and you began to sob against his chest. You couldn't help it, it was the only comfort you had, even though you knew that he had removed every other hand just so you'd choose him.

"Don't be sorry." He gently lulled you, "She brought it upon herself."

He removed the bloodied dress from you, before turning away to fetch a wet towel. You didn't have the energy to fight him, moreover to lift your finger. So you let him clean the blood off your face, and off your body.

You didn't resist when he put the fresh clothes on you, and he guided you to the bed, letting your head fall onto the pillow. He didn't do much and left the room without a word.

On the bed, you let your mind wander to your friend—her hollow stare, the gaping wound in her heart, you should've known it. There's a quiet anger in you, as well as a deep sense of loss. She used you as a means to end her pain, but she had no other choice. She had nothing left.

For days, you asked yourself if it's the only way for her, or if you could help her, reach out to her just a little further. But what came back was an echo, since she was already an empty shell long before you could help her.

You were angry at yourself, angry at him, angry at the man who took her. Yet you couldn't do anything about it, you were powerless.

He was smart enough not to bother you, since you'd erupt at any given moment. But he'd snap at you if you crossed the line, and you'd end up with tears, as you bit your lips shut.

You don't know what to do with this anger, you still don't know the answer to this day.

While you have the plan ready, you haven't chosen the execution date. You need to be close enough to him to take the key, but you're still repulsed by him.

A week has passed by, and you find the courage to close the distance between you and him. You begin to join him for dinner, and keep him company in his study room.

That's when you start to see the crack.

There's a time gap where you can carry out the plan, at least the first plan. When he comes home, he usually leaves his things unattended at dinner time. You would have the freedom to roam, and you could sneak into his room for a short time. You once made sure which pocket that had the key in, and did a double-take a few days later. When you're certain of it, you move to the gun collections. You had memorized the revolver, so it didn't take long before you found it.

With that in mind, you're ready at any time.

You maintain a good facade in front of him, as you wait for the moment to strike.

The chance comes to you one night, when he decides to postpone the dinner. He has to talk with someone outside, and leaves his things on the dining table.

The window of time will be short, since the time it takes for him to finish will be uncertain. But you take it nevertheless.

You don't waste any time as you pull the key from his vest's pocket, and march toward the study room.

Adrenaline rushes through your body, and you're shaking as you take the revolver off the padded wall. You then turn your heel as you approach the desk, sliding the key with difficulties, before unlocking the drawer.

Alas, you run out of time.

You hear the front door close, and a heavy step echoes through the house. You hold your breath as you slide the cylinder release, and take a few bullets in your hand.

"Mäuse?" Your panic rises as you hear his call, with trembling hands, you try to push the bullets into the cylinder. Alas, one of them falls to the floor.

The noise must've alerted him, as the sound of his step turns into a heavy bolt.

You only manage to put two bullets in, before slapping the cylinder shut and aim at the door, right at the same time as his arrival.

He stops in his tracks when he sees you inside, with the gun in your hands.

"Don't come any closer!" You shouted a warning at him, though you couldn't hide the quiver in your voice.

He stands by the door, with his face unreadable, as it hides behind the mask. You pull the hammer, while your finger rests on the trigger. You're ready to shoot, he knows it from your stance.

He sighs, shaking his head in disapproval, "I gave you time, and this is how you repay me?"

"Don't—don't move." You tried to warn him once again, "I'll shoot if you move."

"Can you even shoot me with those hands?" He leered at you, taunting you with his words, "You won't hit any target if you keep shaking."

He catches you off guard as he storms the room, forcing you to pull the trigger.

The bullet hit his shoulder, and he shouts in pain. The shot you released enrages him, as he pulls a sledgehammer from his side.

You don't have the time to aim as you shoot the second bullet, and it flies past him, leaving him unharmed.

A high-pitched scream escapes your mouth as the hammer slams onto the desk, causing the wood to crack upon impact.

The revolver quickly dropped as you fled to the connecting door, escaping the place through the next room.

You run towards the front door, trying to push the handle, but it won't budge. You hear him coming, and jump to the side, narrowly escaping his hammer of rage as it punches through the door, sending the broken pieces everywhere.

"YOU COME BACK HERE!" His voice boomed through the house, and you could almost feel the floor shaking.

You dash to upstairs, and push your bedroom door open, before locking it just in time.

Still, it can't protect you from him.

You watch in horror as the door shakes and fills the room with the cracking sounds, before it flies open by force.

And there he is, standing at your door like a nightmare.

You can't do anything except running away from him, running to the corner where you'll certainly meet your demise.

And you lift your arms and brace for the impact. You can see the hammer coming to you from the corner of your eye, and you cry out when it strikes.

It's all silence, before a quiet sob falls from your mouth.

His hammer crashed on the wall, just an inch away from your head, showering you with dust and smashed fragments.

Your body slides down to the floor, as your legs give up. You continue to weep, while he lifts up the hammer, and tosses it to the ground.

"Are you done?" He retorted harshly, and you shrunk away from him.

He yanks your hand away, and throws you to the floor. You yelp when he sits on top of you, pushing your face down to the ground.

"Should I treat you badly so you'd learn to appreciate what I did for you?"

"You took my freedom away." You hissed through your tears, "You kept me in here so you could play me like a toy."

"But I took care of you, didn't I?" He growled, "I never asked you to clean the house, you didn't even have to cook for yourself. What more could you ask for?"

You flinch at his tone. You've seen him angry a few times, but never this angry.

"Do you want a toy of your own?" He asked, voice dripping with bitterness. Your eyes snap open, as the phantom pain throbs in your hip. "I can certainly give you one."

"No…" Your lips quivered as he slipped his fingers under your clothes, "No, no! Stop!"

You tried to kick him away, do anything to get away from this monstrous man.

"Get away from me!" You screamed at him, but he ignored you as he ripped your clothes off. "Please! I'm sorry—"

"It's too late for that, don't you think?" He laughed when you tried to crawl away, while he undid his belt.

You cry out when you feel the head of his cock poking against your core, before he slowly pushes it inside.

It was excruciating, as he stretched you open with a force. He groans as your walls clamp around his member, as if repelling him from entering.

He snakes his arm around your shoulders, as he pulls you close until his chest is flush against your back. A bitter tang of iron hits your nose, reminding you of your own mistake. He hisses when you grab him on the place near the wound.

"Don't think you can escape me, (Name)." He snaps his hip against you, and you throw your head back, eyes tightly shut. "Not even in your death."

You scream when he buries himself completely, stuffing himself to the hilt, until you feel yourself full.

The pain comes back to you, as you feel your core burning. He makes it worse by feeding it frictions, as he begins to pump himself in and out. He tosses his mask aside, before he marks you with his bites. He sinks his teeth onto your neck and shoulder, before he lifts you by your chin, and crashes his lips against yours.

It was bitter, full of teeth. His kiss tasted like rage, and the jealousy he held since your friend stole it from him.

You cough from the lack of air, and fall down on the floor. The mixed saliva in your mouth drips down to your chin, and he runs his thumb to wipe it off.

He bends down to kiss you once again, and you whimper when you find yourself growing wetter against your will. The resistance from your walls becomes lesser, and he can easily slide his member in.

"You know, Mäuse," He mused as his hips moved like a piston, "I'm only flesh and blood, but I can be a good father."

He keeps his arm around your body, as you struggle against him.

"I can buy you a big house, taking care of our little ones." He covers your mouth when you begin to voice your protests, "As long as you're with me."

Your hand starts to flail around, trying to hit his wound, but it's out of your reach.

"I'll make you my wife, and we'll live together as a couple." He said with a smile, but through your eyes, it was a madman's grin. "You just have to be good, and I'll treat you as such."

His cock brushes against the spot that made your moan, and he keeps hitting it until your back arches, as you turn limp in his arms.

He soon follows after you, as his cum spills into your womb, filling you up to the brim. You gasp when his arms tighten around you, as his cock twitches inside your core. A sense of dread hits you as you feel his cock doesn't get any softer.

"I think you'll make a great mother." You heard him murmur, before he pressed his lips against your temple.

[slippinninque]

🫣🍑Private Dancer🍑🫣

Or: You discover another half to the secret you thought you were keeping

Fontaine x blackfemreader

Warnings: MINORS DNI, cursing, use of the n-word, mentions of smoking/weed, P-in-V, mentions of insecurity, long fic

Truth was, you were a secret shaker.

A tentative twerker. An apprehensive ass-thrower. Your waist whined when being perceived directly and not in a good way. Not only did you decline to throw ass in public, you will also turn away any offers to catch it.

When you were alone, though...

You learned chorography to your favorite sounds, bounced around your living room as you folded clothes. Recorded dance challenges and deleted them a few hours later. You were your very own Stallion behind closed doors.

It took only a handful of awkward encounters and an asshole ex-boyfriend suggesting you 'stand to the side' for you to be determined to find your rhythm.

Looking up tips online and went to any beginner's classes you could find in the area. Ballroom, salsa, the pole--it all helped you understand your body outside of what it looked like. It was about what you trained it to do, what you wanted it to do.

Investing in a really good floor length mirror was the last puzzle piece you needed to really find your beat. From there on, you and the mirror were lovers.

Only your small circle of friends knew. That was thanks to enough years of trust and tequila, leading to wild nights at house parties with the radio cranked high.

You eventually learned that it was nothing to be ashamed of. It's not like it kept you away from fun or being included in the antics. If you went out with the ladies, you hyped them and kept a cute lil' two step. You held the title of Camerawoman with pride and your background cackles were famous in the group chat.

The booty wouldn't boogie with anyone else around and it's been that way for years.

It was your own little secret. No one had to know everything and you babbled enough as it was. If anyone cared to stare hard enough to a deserted, dark corner of the house--then maybe they could catch a glimpse.

The sway-snap of your hips, falling beautifully with every beat that you heard. How your hair gleamed, the way your smile swelled with the change of the songs.

Your entire body sang a song.

At least, that's what Fontaine thought when he first spotted you.

Of course you never knew he saw you. Even after the reciprocated confessions and hot-n-heavy honeymoon phase, you thought you went unseen.

Fontaine took your secret for his own, delighting in your shadow shows on the rare occasions you came out to play.

Fontaine could wait and if you had to feel alone to feel secure, then so be it. He used his admiration and desire to touch you, to be a proper witness.

Just being near you was more then enough, it would have been ungrateful to be so greedy.

------

You screamed when you saw him standing there.

The earbuds went off into the wilds of the kitchen, one skittering beneath the fridge.

Fontaine's eyes were popped wide but didn't seem remorseful for scaring your soul to the heavens.

"I thought you heard me when I came in." Fontaine hung up his keys before going in search of your earbuds. You watched after him, mortified.

You were just really into organizing the lower pantry. Lost in shaking your ass with one hand braced on the red potatoes and the other searching for the brown potatoes to put them back in their proper spot.

When you turned to grab the few 'taters that eacaped, you saw your man standing a few feet away from you with his arms crossed and head tilted.

How long has he been here?

Oh god, you have never danced for him. You have never danced in front of him--you weren't even serious. There wasn't a problem with you shimmying to the beat in his lap at a function or waving from your hips up while riding in the car to some jams.

This was different.

"Hey, hey--whatcha curling up for? C'mon now, I already know you can move."

"It-- that, um, I-I'm not that good, so, y'know..."

Fontaine pocketed your traumatized earbuds and kissed your hands until you inched them away enough for him to see your worried gaze. He tutted quietly, taking your hands into his and kissing your knuckles.

"What matters to me is what makes you feel good, baby." His voice rolled into a purr as he continued, "Lucky me that you look so fine when you do."

You wriggled as your shyness battled against the excitement of having Fontaine looking at you the way he was.

"So I don't look.... awkward? Do I have enough stuff to make it look good?"

"Wasn't nothing awkward 'bout how you were throwin' that, trust me."

Fontaine's hands went down and grabbed two handfuls of your ass. His palms were warm and wide as he kneaded, bringing you even closer to him as you went to your tiptoes. He hooked his chin over your shoulder with a happy little hum, distracted by you but only for only a moment more.

"Hold up, whatchu mean by 'enough stuff' ?"

You shrugged and decided not to answer. The truth of past insecurities felt redundant and you rather liked the way Fontaine was making you feel at the moment.

Fontaine grunted, giving you another squeeze before pulling back a bit to look into you square in the eyes.

"Look here-- I'm in love with all this right here, so I'm rockin' with you regardless of what you can make it do. Don't matter if you think you ain't got enough, shit, it's enough fo', me. Understand?"

His words worked out the few kinks in your heart, aches you grown used to and ignored when they flared. You nodded more confidently and only then did Fontaine lighten his hold on you, nodding back.

No telling how long Fontaine was standing there and if you never turned around-- you would have been none the wiser. How many times has he been there? Letting you have yourself, taking only a moment for himself as he had that smile on his face.

It was the same smile he had when he took away the shea butter to rub you down himself. Or similar to the smirk on his face when following after you to the bedroom after you talked a bit too much shit.

Your shoulders dropped as you fully relaxed into his hold. The burning embarrassment in your stomach churned into smooth, seamless and leaving you suddenly eager.

"So, tell me what a nigga gotta do to get a private dance from yo' pretty self?"

His hands helped themselves to another handful, this time spreading to touch between your legs. There was promise in his eyes and you knew you only needed to say yes.

You twist away from him enough to pluck your phone from the counter, sliding through a few songs before settling on something with drums and bass. The speakers pulsed and you began backing Fontaine out of the kitchen and into the living room.

He let you push him to sit in the recliner and he made an appreciative sound at the way you leaned in, pressing a kiss to his lips. It evolved, going deeper until you pulled away with a protesting noise from Fontaine.

"That's the only touching you gonna get from me right now."

"Oh, word?"

"You're going to distract me enough as it is." You said, stepping away from him and stretching your arms over your head.

"Bold as hell to call me a distraction." Fontaine's brows rose as he leaned back to make himself comfortable, "Lookin' at me with them eyes..."

His eyes hooked onto your hips. You stretched, teasingly bending over and holding onto your ankles as you gave a cute lil' shake, looking over your shoulder coyly .

"What can I use to look if it ain't my eyes?" You asked, "How am I supposed to see you?"

"Don't worry 'bout what you see back here, act like a nigga ain't even here."

"Oh, that's impossible now. You still make me feel so shy..."

Fontaine snorted and your gave a giddy smile in return.

What you wore was actually perfect. Tiny shorts and cami, perfect for when you were bounding around to clean house. Just what you needed for you to do a little Bend n' Snap for your man.

The music changed and you looked over at him in surprise, he held your phone but watched you with a mischief. Reaching for the little, polka dotted stash jar you left on the coffee table to pull out a blunt to wag at you.

"Go on, show me what you got fo' me."

Waiting until he fired up, you sauntered closer and tied up the front of your already teeny tank. Fontaine's eyes honed in to your nipples, distracted as he took a drag. When his fingers crooked, you leaned in enough and pursed your lips.

Fontaine blew a strong stream that you breathed in and held. You held as long as you could before releasing the smoke a final time into the air.

Fontaine's blunts were no-nonsense, where he still rolled with leaves rather than the papers you preferred. It felt like a straight shot to the head, the smoke lifting all the chatter in your mind to leave you swirling in electric eagerness.

Without further ado, you showed him what you could do.

Your hands braced on your knees, clasped above your head, went down to touch your toes. You rolled your stomach and snapped your hips mouthing the words to Fontaine as you fully felt yourself. You extended your arms and tried to be as dramatically sexy as possible. Touching all of Fontaine's favorite places yourself, pushing up your breast and skimming your hand between your legs for him to see.

Fontaine was a chaotic DJ as he flipped through your playlist. He went from instrumentals filled with nothing but baselines and adlibs, to Glorilla to Megan Thee Stallion to Trina. Whistling at every peek of cheek and nip, calling out to see the 'pretty lady' when you coyly fanned your legs at him from the floor.

When you got down on your hands and knees, you felt a smack against your cheeks hard enough to snap your illusion. You leaned onto your forearms, ass up in the air, and broke into laughter as more bills rained down. It was like a confetti canon was let off or someone hit the Golden Button for you.

"That felt personal." You said over your shoulder at where Fontaine sent another fan of bills into the air, "You tryin' to tell me something?"

"Yeah--to bring that ass over here so I can get my hands on you," Fontaine patted his thigh, "Thought this was gonna be a lap dance..."

"Private does not mean lap." You sniffed. Honestly, you weren't sure because you've never been to a strip club but with the way he was throwing bills--the living room was cosplaying as a VIP section at King of Diamonds.

You took your time in coming closer, wondering if you could skip on singles before Fontaine snatched you right up when you were close enough.

"This is too much! When did you even have time to take out all these damn dollars?"

"I been waiting on this, baby. Shit, I woulda threw gold if it ain't' hurt..."

You laughed and looked around at the singles carpeting your floor in disbelief, it's like you had a new rug installed! There were dollars all overt the coffee table and even some fluttered over to coat the entertainment center. Was there a dollar up in the light fixture? Was that a fire hazard?

Fontaine's teeth nipped at your earlobe, turning your next remark into soft moan. His hand ran up to cup your neck, breathing you in with a hungry hum.

His voice was all smoke and honey, "This is all well an' good, but I think I'm feeling a certain type of way..."

"Is it the horny way?"

Your cheekiness got you mean little pinch to your sensitive nipples. Jolting only pushed you closer to his greedy hands. It was his turn to touch. He plucked and twisted your nipples, making you mewl and melt into his touch. You ground down into his lap where you felt he needed you most, making him sigh into your ear.

"Gonna be the death of me, ain't ya?" Fontaine husked, "Here lies 'Taine, bust so hard he went on to glory. He leaves everything to his pretty-booty havin' lady."

"What if I promise to shake somethin' on your grave, would that be better--no biting!"

Fontaine growled something into the mouthful of shoulder he had, shaking his head gently and making you squeal and scrunch up to try and escape.

Still warm from being in the spotlight of Fontaine's attention and the pulsing music, your head swam with delight. It felt like victory. You turned and kissed at the side of his face before your lips met.

Allowing yourself to be admired and seen was like nothing else. Fontaine has always shown nothing but devotion to you but you still felt like he was...just being nice. You were holding yourself back from assumed disappointment but this whole time he's been waiting on you.

Talk about blocking your blessings...

When your grinding became more insistent, Fontaine leaned back with his lip caught between his teeth.

"That's what I'm talkin' about. Show me how you feel."

You looked over you shoulder, holding his hands against your breast as you rode in his lap. Fontaine hissed, one of his hands quickly escaped to clasp around your hips to grind up into you.

Leaning forward enough on your hands, your delicates went directly in his face as you tugged at his pant leg pointedly. Fontaine ignored your impatience and ran a hand over you, from between your shoulders down to the backs of your thighs.

You could hear him popping the button on his jeans and the rattle of his belt.

"How bad you want it, pretty?"

"Bad, real bad."

"'Do anything fo' it' bad?"

" 'Let you do anything to me' bad."

It happened fast after that, Fontaine righted you in his lap enough for him to press into your pussy. The stretch dropped your mouth open and Fontaine groaned at how wet you already were.

LOW started and you bounced to the beat, grinning dopily up at the ceiling at the feel of him hitting all your good spots. Your shorts provided a wonderful friction against your clit from how Fontaine shoved the fabric aside to let himself in.

It felt so naughty. To fuck on Fontaine like you were starved for him to the music rattling your walls. The thrill twisted with desire in your stomach, hurtling you faster and faster to your peek.

Suddenly more bills rained down and paired with Fontaine's laugh, more lust than amusement--it pushed you over the edge.

"That's it, I feel you, g'on and get yo' shit. Can't believe yo' pretty ass was shy..."

Fontaine took over. A bruising grip onto your hips, tipped you back into his chest as he thrust up into you in earnest.

"Puttin' that shit on me heavy, acting like you don't know what you do to me." Fontaine found a few singles that were being crumpled between you and pressed them to your dewy, lower back.

"Shieet, looks better than money. Wish you can see as much as yo' ass feel it, fuck." He gave your ass slap, you called out as you came. It felt like fire shot through you, leaving you reaching for any bit of him to clutch.

Between the music still going and Fontaine handling you so well, the sensations left you gasping. Legs burning and head filled with needy thoughts, you protested when Fontaine stopped your bouncing and maneuvered you until he slid free.

"Oh, show ain't over yet--you feel me?"

You did. Fontaine was heavy and hot where he tapped all over your ass, leaving kisses of wet spots. It filled you with a flash of pride or maybe even possessiveness. Craining your neck, you did you best to get a glimpse but Fontaine hand cupped your neck licked the shell of your ear.

"Yeah, that's you gettin' all over me. Tryna make me messy just how you like it, huh?"

He hissed when you writhed in his lap, ghost riding his dick until he gave you a little push to stand. Your mouth dropped open to whine but Fontaine turned you towards the middle of the room.

"Show me how you want it."

Fontaine held himself tight at the base, his lips lax enough for his gold to wink in the lamp light.

As gracefully as you could--you went down onto your knees before lying back to put your legs in the air. You rolled over in the blanket of dollars, wriggling down your shorts to one ankle until you could flick them away.

Fontaine grinned down at you, kneeling to slot his palm into the arch of your foot, his other hand stroking himself.

He hooked one of your legs over his shoulder, eyes fixed to where his dick bumped against your mound.

"Prettiest thing touchin' soil and you think it ain't enough..."

Fontaine moved your other thigh to the side around his hip, leaving you spread completely. You were still working, still giving him a show, but you couldn't bear to keep your hands off of him.

When you hand ran under his shirt, Fontaine tugged it over his head swiftly and much to your delight. The sight of his broad chest and delicious skin made you all the more impatient.

"Hurry up, Mr. Lapdance--the show ends when the music does."

Fontaine's eyes flashed.

"You lucky we ain't meet like that. D'you wanna know what I would do if you showed out like that on a pole?

The image formed in your mind was electric. Pretending to be a little Stallion and running into a hungry handed, greedy eyed Fontaine in low strobe lights.

Not knowing just what he had in store for you as you led him to the privacy booths--intent on earning his attention.

When you licked your lips, Fontaine groaned softly, you smiled at him.

What's another little secret?

"I did take a few classes, if you ever wanna see ahn--!"

Pressing into your heat, Fontaine grumbled something about Home Depot.

"Shouldn't have told me that, now I gotta put a stage in here somewhere in this bitch..."

Drunk on pleasure, you could only cry out as Fontaine chased his thoughts out loud. The change in position, with him looming above you muttering filthy promises--it was too much for you.

"O-Oh fuck, 'Taine!"

He froze to watch your eyes roll close as you shook apart beneath him with a sob. Fontaine lowered himself to bracket you between his forearms to kiss you, swallowing your moans. His hips snapped, lost rhythm and then he was coming with satisfied growl.

That was it. You were dead. Your very soul leaked onto his thighs and the carpet below.

'Here lies me, twerked too close to the sun...'

Fontaine releases a heavy, satisfied hum into your ear as he finally collapsed onto you. It should have been stifling and your knew your legs would be useless for the next while, but all you could do was grin at the feel of the dollar bill stuck to his shoulder.

What a way to go....

------

When the playlist finally ended, the silence found you both covered in sweat and dollar bills. Fontaine rubbed a loc of your hair between his fingers and you rested your eyes--head on his shoulder. Your hand wandering aimlessly across his chest as you began to doze.

He tugged gently to get your attention, "Want you to do me a favor."

"Mn. If it involves moving, you gotta pay me."

Fontaine snorted and flicked away the bill stuck to the thigh you've strewn across him. You shrugged a shoulder with a lifted brow, you got me there.

He continued, "If you can help it...I'd like for you not to hide from me anymore."

The change in his tone had you searching for his gaze and of course it was already on you. Fontaine took your hand in his, turning yours until he held it in his open palm.

"I...okay. I can do that for you."

You weren't ready to talk about the past and trying to make sense of your complicated feelings of being perceived. Something told you that it wasn't the time, maybe it was you hiding again, but at least Fontaine took your words earnestly.

He kissed your hand once, twice before leaning his head back and closing his eyes as he went back to playing with your locs.

"Good..and no more watchin' Baddies. Watching them girls fucks wit' your disposition," Fontaine reached for a handful of bills to sprinkle all over you, "You wanna be a Stallion? Lemme know and I'll give you a ride."

"Oouf you are terrible." You hid your face into his neck, "But once my legs come back online, you're in trouble."

Fontaine patted your ass, "Can't threaten me with good troubles, baby."

-----------

ending notes: thank you so much for reading! It's a long one but the idea wouldn't leave me alone! Might need some tweaking and editing since it's another Before Work Drop lmao! Please tell me what you think and what other things I should try, don't be shy! Comment and reblog please! 💕🥰💜

Taglist: @megamindsecretlair @sageispunk @miyuhpapayuh @cardierreh15 @mcondance @thadelightfulone@mag1calenchantr3ss@cocoeffects@wide-nose-and-wonderful @8ttached@thadelightfulone@hobiesmain@thickeeparker@longpause-awkwardsmile@ms-angiealsina

(Added a more after some slight revisions 🫣)

[eldritch-alicedoll]

Diasomnia Boy gift s/o an evening gown to attend the NRC & RSA ball tgt Headcanon

Following from my dress sketch design if you haven’t seen it here . They are base from Glorious Masquerade & Playful land events. Basically a sequence I imagine while drawing the dresses XD I also want to mention that when it’s finish 🥺 you can draw it on your oc and even tweak a bit detail to fit your Yuu or OC. It’s meant to be share with everyone, not just my Yuu.

⚠️ Bad English……. I have no idea what is grammar . 😂

╭══• ೋ•✧๑♡๑✧•ೋ •══╮

Imagine a ball between NRC and RSA happening maybe sometime after chapter 7. All students are invited but you are troubling since you have no dress to wear. And for the love of the great seven. Your beloved head master, Crowley just allowed you to join in your NRC uniform……….. great! So much for your kindness!!

Guess who will be the photographer and a background character on this event…..hahaha………

Well maybe you whine too much in front of the wishing well. Someone comes up with a plan. A plan that would make you believe in a fairytale once again!

╰══• ೋ•✧๑♡๑✧•ೋ •══╯

𝔐𝔞𝔩𝔩𝔢𝔲𝔰 🐉

You had to be blind to not suspect anything……

Lately Mal is a bit touchy. Not that he isn’t normally but this is different. Sometimes he holds your wrist while mumbles something while going on a night stroll. Sometimes he stares at you and gets lost in his thoughts. He even stands just in front of you and tries to lift you up once.

You are so confused and a bit embarrassed when he asks about your height so you call for support. The Diasomnia’s family counselor aka. Lilia Vanrouge. You went all the way to Diasomnia dorm without telling anyone and sneak in to see Lilia.

But

…….

…..

…………

Is he………….

Is he dancing with a dress just now??

Surprisingly you just witness your dragon boyfriend practicing a dance with a beautiful dress. He hummed ‘that song’ while spinning with the dress. What a beautiful princess gown with dark green silk. It looks so shiny and smooth, something that would delicately touch her skin while being held in that big palm. Imagine how soft that hand craft lace feels when on your chest. He did not spare any piece of jewellery from his procession. He keep bring in dazzling earrings and necklaces to test it with the gown. He would have use the heart of his collection to craft a piece of accessories for you if he doesn’t want to save it for something later in the year. You can see a magical golden thread and needle weaving delicate patterns on the skirt as he continues the dance. Every angle……Every turn………..Malleus is creating a masterpiece. He did it………..for you…….for his princess.

Your face is burning from the love of this dragon fae. Why does he have to put so much effort into it.

Oh no………now you a mess

You open the Pandora box too early and now you have to live with it while pretending not to know a thing until the day. You bit your lip as Mal smoothly tug a strain of hair behind your ears. You can now understand what he mumbles about……rose gold? Sunshine gold? May be one of his grandma’s jewellery set?? (Oh god no…….that’s tooo far for the first gown Mal lol)

Your heart beat so fast until the evening of the event. Malleus play cool by teasing you and being a nice partner who prepare a gift for you.

Boom! You are now in a matching dress. So those Raven feathers on the hip are supposed to match his shoulder then ah………..you are about to take off the veil since it looks like a bride. Before Malleus could turn grumpy…..Sebek yell and lecturing you about how talented Wakasama are! You human dare to question his sense of fashion? Outrageous! Just because he love you doesn’t mean you can ruin his days of afford to perfect this dress

Woops………tongue slip

Well it’s not like you never know anyway. Just pretend to be surprise so Sebek won’t get a lightning strike okay?

Bonus : she doesn’t want to point out that when she accidentally saw Malleus weaving that dress……. his tail wagging. It’s a secret she gonna take to her grave though

Bonus 2 : Lilia does notice that and brag about how adorable Malleus is. How Malleus has grown to fit in the society in front of the other dorm leader………..Oopsie

Bonus 3 : Malleus learn the hard way not to miss the meeting

𝕷𝖎𝖑𝖎𝖆 🦇

Have you heard of the story of the fairy godmother in Cinderella? Well he won’t just roll out and sing bib bi di bub bi di bo and bang! A nice new dress for you. The old man planned while cuddling you in bed……in sofa…..in the gaming chair(?)

He pretends to be busy with something and hasn't listened to you. Even play dumb and say you look cute in the school uniform. Well it’s not totally a lie since he thinks it’s adorable. Why would he poke on your cheek and nibble your neck while you are in your uniform if it’s not because you are so cute to him.

The truth is, this old bat is as excited as you. He lived through the war time and never got a chance to enjoy a leisure party before. Well it’s just a joint event of 2 schools. It can't compare with how grand the royal ball of the Briar valley held a ball but this is the first time he is going to have his lover join him. He doesn’t have to be alert from enemies. Doesn’t have to command his subordinates to search all the parties involved in this event. Just lay back enjoy the day with you.

He had been trying to recreate that dress in his memories just for you. It was around……..hundred? Two hundred?? Year ago??? He walked past this girl on the street and was stunned by her attire. It’s an elegant dress with black velvet and green emerald. Soft flare neckline covered the black corset. Enough skin to show your radiant but not too much.

Well, He was allowed to give you some hickeys before the day of the ball. It got enough fabric to cover all his naughtiness. Wink*

However he was troubled with the skirt since he only remembered just part of it flowing past him. He argued if it’s short or long skirt. He was going back and forth and even tried to summon multiple dresses to compare them…….Then before the final day. He just uses his sense of style to bring it together. Of cause ! Who do you think he is, if not the cutest boy in NRC ? (Self proclaimed……)

He smiles so proudly with your flushed cheek as he teases you. As you put on a golden belt with a bat and thorn on. This is the perfect dress for you. His baby bat. He should had prepare a ring for this big day but well…….there are plenty time for that

Bonus : He pick a perfume for you today and as you dance with him on the floor. It’s totally Lilia’s scent///

This is very long………..more than I expected

I’ll continue Silver & Sebek in part 2 then 😂 sorry I’m so into it with my oshi! I’ll try pack in other dorm in one post! Thank you for reading! Hope you enjoy!!

[yourfatherlucifer]

Hello! Can I pls request a smut with siren!seonghwa? He's holding you captive and he refuses to let you leave him so he's constantly trying to worship you and entice you with his song?

Siren!Seonghwa x afab!pirate!reader

Summary: ⬆️⬆️

Warnings: NSFW MDNI, mention of abuse, death, sex with a siren, blood. Seonghwa is intimidating and mean. Mentions of breeding.

My first siren fic, so here goes nothing! Thanks for 800 followers!

So- after writing this, I realized I went completely off course from the request I’m so sorry, if you want me to rewrite it I can.

The sea looked beautiful in the night, the moonlight reflecting against the ocean.

The blue and white hues shone magnificently.

Your captain approached with you a grin on his face, “You’re always out here, so late at night. You love the ocean that much?”

His hand was placed onto your shoulder, “Of course, Hongjoong. You know I do, every time I see it, it’s like the first time witnessing it all over again.”

You grinned back at him, “Thanks again Hongjoong, for everything. You saved me from a life of misfortune that day.”

You could recall the very day Captain Kim Hongjoong and his crew saved your life and brought you aboard the Illusion.

You were a runaway princess, cliché, I know. But you were a hated princess, by your own family. You were unwanted. Your parents despised you. Your siblings hated you. You had done nothing wrong of course, you were the only one loved by the royal court and the people of the kingdom. For some reason that made your family hate you, the people hated your family. Of course, they didn’t know of the abuse you had to endure everyday.

The beatings taken by your father, whipped daily, your back was scarred. You were such a beauty to the townspeople, you were kind to them, unlike your family who let their power go to their heads. Being the youngest meant you were neglected from the time you were born. Your mother hated you from the time you set foot into this world. She was jealous, jealous of the beauty that radiated from you.

You could take the beatings anymore, so you invested in the help of the people of the kingdom.

You were to runaway from the hell you lived in.

The day you were gonna leave, the kingdom was attacked by the worlds most dangerous pirates, Ateez. You had taken this opportunity to make a run for it, but your older brother held you back. He was gonna use you as a human shield.

As tears poured down your face, you realized your family really didn’t care, I mean despite the beatings, you had an ounce of hope that they cared.

But they proved you wrong with this.

You were face to face with a pirate, sword pointed your way, the blade mere inches away.

“Oh? You’d sacrifice your sister just to live, Prince?” The man cackled, a sinister grin plastered on his face.

“Shut up, measly pirate! This is our kingdom! I can do as I please!” Your brother gripped your arms from behind very tightly, creating dark bruises.

You cried out in pain, “please, Kai, don’t do this!”

The captain could see the bruises and scars that littered your arms.

He pressed his blade closer to your brother, “Do you abuse her, Prince?”

Kai scoffed, “So what if I do? She’s my sister! I can do as I please, you scum!” He spat.

The captain nodded before lowering his sword.

Before Kai could even process what was happening, you were pulled in the captains arms and his blade was forced through Kai’s abdomen.

In complete shock and pain, he fell to the floor, gripping his now bleeding stomach, the blood was everywhere.

“Y/N, help me.” He cried out.

You stared at him before burying your face in the neck of the man who saved you.

“Y/N! You’re a trai,” cough, “-tor!”

Your brother finally collapsed to the floor and died, you were free. You didn’t care what was happening to the rest of your family.

All that mattered was you were free.

-

A hand waved in front of you, “Y/N? You’re day dreaming again.” The voice chuckled.

“Just remembering how we met, Joong, that’s all.”

“You know, I never do thank you enough for that.”

“You do. Plenty of times. Please stop.”

You laughed with him, “Okay, okay.”

You truly were glad.

You walked away from him and headed below deck, bringing yourself to the kitchen area.

You passed by one of your crew mates, Wooyoung, he was snacking on an apple.

With a raised brow you laughed, “Jongho is so gonna kill you.”

Wooyoung shrugged, “When is he not?”

“Whatever you say, Woo.”

After grabbing something to eat, you brought yourself back up-deck. You liked to stargaze when you couldn’t sleep. And it was a particularly beautiful night to do so.

You didn’t see anyone on deck anymore, they all must’ve gone to sleep. Except for Yunho, the second in command, who was steering the ship, more or less keeping an eye so the ship doesn’t crash or get attacked.

You loved this new family of yours. Of course, they were all men, but that didn’t mean anything to you. They loved you like a sister, they were brothers you never had, or well, wish you had. Your bruises had long faded and all that was left were the scars. But it made you look tough. Like the pirate you are. You knew the people of your former kingdom mourned only you. You knew they held a funeral for you when only your ‘family’ held a funeral for your brother.

You had heard the rumors of your death. They circulated everywhere. In a way, you did die that die. Your princess self had died.

A new you was born that day.

—

Hongjoong had docked the ginormous ship against an island, an outpost, to sell some new riches and to rest from the sea.

You had taken this time to wander, your sword on your hip for your protection.

After walking for about 15 minutes, you found a little cove, the ocean leaking into it.

It was a nice cove. The entrance had a triangular shape to it, the sun barely passing through. It was secluded off to the rest of the island, which was nice. You needed a break away from the all the men you call your family.

Seeing a ledge, you marched over to it. After sitting down you peeled off your boots, pushed up the edges of your trousers up. Then dipping your feet in the water. It felt really nice and relaxing, already your mind was off everything.

You could hear the water sloshing while your eyes were closed, but you paid no mine, it was daytime and the most it could be was a fish being curious.

That was until you felt a pull on your feet.

You yelped, pulling your feet out of the water and to your chest. “What the hell!”

A head slowly peered from underneath the water. A tousle of black hair and brown eyes appeared. Staring at you in curiosity, it inched closer.

“Stop! Stop where you are!” You yelled out in fear.

No one was here to save you, that was when your remembered you had your trusty sword on your waist.

As you reached for it the voice spoke out, “I wouldn’t do that if I were you.” His head was now fully out of the water.

“What are you?” You backed away from the water.

The male rolled his eyes, “Seriously? You’re a pirate and you have no clue what I am?”

His chuckle reverberated around the cove walls.

His arms rested against the ledge, water falling from the muscular forearms.

“I’m a siren. Y’know, I lead sailors and pirates alike to their deaths with my voice?” He grinned.

You backed up even further, your back hitting the cold and wet wall.

“Is that what your here to do?” You gulped nervously.

He grinned at your fearful expression, “Well no, I have other plans for you.” He pulled himself up from the water, his tail transforming into legs, leaving him naked.

“It’s breeding season for sirens.”

Your eyes grew to the size of saucers, “What are you saying?”

“I’m saying, I’m going to breed you, and you’re going to give me children,” his cold expression did nothing to erase your fear, in fact it made it worse.

“But I- I can’t do that. I’ve never-“

“I know. That’s why I chose you. We need pure people to breed. You know, I’ve been watching you. You must really like that Captain. You have the hots for him, but unfortunately. He doesn’t for you.” He shrugs.

“So, I know your name is Y/N, I’m Seonghwa.”

-

“You are gonna let me breed you, right? I’m not just gonna take it from you. Unfortunately, I need consent to breed with a human.” Seonghwa sighed, still inches from you.

You were scared nonetheless, but he was attractive, you were curious about sex, never having the time to try it out, and everyone but Hongjoong was like a brother to you. You couldn’t lie either, you were in love with him, but knew he only saw you as a sister.

You glanced at the ethereal siren in front of you.

“I..I suppose I consent then.”

You shyly looked away, “How..how do we do this?”

Seonghwa beamed with happiness, “Really? Just let me lead.

Seonghwa stood there bare before slowly approaching you. His hands on your waist, “As much as I would to take this slow for you, I’ve been dying to have children.”

He pulled off your little blouse, throwing it somewhere near the water.

“I see enough of these everyday underwater, but yours,” he grips your breasts in his arms, “are perfect for me.”

Your eyes shut right from the sudden pleasure you had felt. It was a great feeling, something you’ve never felt before.

“Seonghwa..”

He chuckled, “We’re just getting started.”

—

He brought down to the cold and wet ground of the cove, “That’s it, just relax. I can’t wait to breed you.”

Seonghwa dives his face into your neck, inhaling your human scent. It was delightful for him, but he wasn’t here to eat you. He was here to make his children.

He rubbed himself against your pooling heat, he wanted to just fuck up into you but he need to prepare you. Siren cocks weren’t normal or average sized at all. He could rip you in half if he wasn’t careful.

So, with said thoughts he brought one finger forward first, pushing it deeply within.

You moaned at the intrusion, it was definitely painful, having no experience.

“I- please, slow down.” You cried out, grabbing his wrist when he added two more fingers.

All he did was smack you hand off his wrist and continued plundering your arousal.

“I can’t, but you’re ready now.”

He removed his fingers, shaking the fluid off his fingers, he had no interest in it.

Guiding his monster-sized cock to your entrance, he pushed in, groaning at the feeling.

“Ah, my first human. This is delightful.” He smirked before he began his rampage into you.

There was nothing to grip onto, you were too afraid to hold onto him, “Ah, ah, please! I can’t take it!” You cried out for him to stop, you felt great, but his size had hurt. You were ruined for anyone else.

Seonghwa shook his head, “I can’t stop now, I’m almost there. I need to have this.”

His hands fell to either side of your head as he continued his rough pace, grunting into your ear.

Skinslapping echoed throughout the cove.

Soon enough he finally reached his peak, not even letting you reach yours, he came, his seed painting everything inside.

He picked himself up before pulling out. “It is done.”

You couldn’t move, everything hurt and you now had siren seed flowing to your uterus.

Seonghwa grabbed your wrist, “Now that you have my kin inside of you. I cannot let you leave.”

Soon his eery, yet beautiful voice filled your ears and your world faded around you.

Nothing would be the same again.

[nichoswag]

cigarettes and moonlight . wang yixiang (nicholas)

pairing: best friend!nicholas x gn!reader

warnings: mentions of cigarettes (duh), nicho smokes, reader yells at nicho, members and reader all live together, implied minor age gap (both are still adults), cursing, kissing, fluff, ending is really sappy 🙃

song rec: moonlight - chase atlantic

synopsis: even though you're mad at nicholas because he just won't stop smoking, he looks really good under the moonlight

it feels like hours you've been trying to fall asleep on the bottom bunk. you can hear your bunkmate taki snoring loudly from above, and maki and harua are also fast asleep in the other bunk bed.

you get up as quietly as you can and make your way through the dark house. as you slide open the glass side door and step out into the night, you notice a silhouette sitting at the edge of the porch.

"hey stranger," you grin at him as he turns around until the smell and sight of what you're witnessing hits you and your lungs fill with rage.

there, sitting on the edge of the porch dangling his legs off the side, is your best friend nicholas, and in his hand is a lit cigarette.

"oh, you bitch," you mutter, half playfully and half out of anger. "how many goddamn times do i have to tell you not to smoke?! that shit kills you!"

his face shows the expression of a deer caught in headlights. he smiles sheepishly and runs his free hand through his hair.

you take a second to get a good look at him. his hair looks messy as if he'd also been trying to fall asleep, and the top two buttons of his satin night shirt are undone. his face seems to glow in the moonlight and his chocolate orbs almost sparkle. his lips look puffy, almost kissable-

you shake your head roughly and focus on the lecture you're about to give him. snatching the cigarette from him and putting it out on the floor of the porch, you take a seat next to him.

you decide against lecturing him, mainly because you can't look him in the eyes without them wandering towards his unbuttoned shirt. "if this happens again, i won't show mercy. i'll be going straight to kei."

"i'm sorry," he says, just like every other time you've caught him. "i really won't do it again this time. just... i couldn't sleep, and euijoo and fuma hyung were knocked out so i didn't wanna bother them but i got bored and-"

you take his hand in yours and he stops talking, his mouth agape. "it's okay. i'm not really mad. i just wish you'd stop doing it before you get addicted. i really would hate to see you suffer."

he looks at you, and you swear you see something flicker in his eyes briefly, before he faces forward again, pulling your head down to rest on his shoulder.

you both just stay there for a while before you realize something. "hey," you back off his shoulder snd scowl at him. "give me the box."

"box?" he asks, feigning innocence.

you glare harder. "the box of cigarettes," you grumble through gritted teeth.

he chuckles and pulls it out of his pocket. "oh, this? you're gonna have to pay a small price if you want it."

you sigh. "nicho, i'm not playing games with you. hand it over!" you grasp at it, but he pulls it out of your reach.

"come on, it's just a small price." he grins at you in a way that makes you wanna punch him in the face (lovingly ofc).

you groan. "fine."

he turns his head so you get a perfect view of his side profile. then, he taps his cheek.

"oh hell no," you growl.

"come on! just once." he pleads with his eyes.

you sigh. "you're such a big baby." you lean in to peck his cheek, but he turns his face towards you right as you do.

your lips land directly on his. you back off him with a gasp. "hey!"

he smiles widely, placing the box down next to you. "there you go."

he's still staring at you as you look back up. "fuck it," you mutter, leaning in to kiss him again.

he smells like cigarettes but his mouth tastes like mint gum. one of his hands slides up to hold your face as the other snakes around your waist. you wrap your arms around his shoulders, pulling him in closer.

as you pull away, you realize you've stained his lips with the strawberry lip gloss you forgot to take off before bed.

you giggle as you wipe it off his mouth with the sleeve of your (his) stolen hoodie.

"i like you," he confesses, "like, a lot."

you smile and lean into his shoulder again. "me too, yixi. i like you a lot too."

you hear shuffling and giggling behind you. "finally!" someone squeals.

you launch the pack of cigarettes at them.

[softmangoes]

true terror | ivory wraith x pc

18+ only

the sun dips below the horizon, tinging the waters of the lake with the day's final golden rays.

you take a deep breath, filling your lungs with the scent of pine and the cold crisp of autumn. the wait is over: there will be a blood moon tonight.

before, you would await for that familiar pull to tug on your soul and reel you into the depths of the lake. those first few nights had felt like something out of a dream: a face made of moonlight, hands that brushed your skin as if to make sure you were real, eyes like shards of the night.

but at this point, you have made marking your calendar to count down the days a science. you have stowed away a bag of spare clothes in the forest. the waves lap at your ankles, beckoning you closer. you are so tired, so sore, and all you want to do is be engulfed by something that shouldn't even be possible.

once you wade until the waters have reached your chest, you take another breath and dive.

"beloved," a familiar voice hums once you surface. you don't quite hear his voice so much as feel it. the specter's joy feels bright, like the gleam of moonlight illuminating the crevices of your soul.

with a grunt, you climb onto the stones, gripping the length of rope you anchored into the ruin during your last visit. the inside of the old temple is lit with a soft glow. he is here. the abomination. the monster. the ghost that haunts you and your heart.

you expect to see his gentle smile to celebrate your arrival. but at the sight of you, the wraith falls silent.

he sees the bruises darkening your throat, listens to your ragged breaths, watches as the tears swell and stream from your eyes.

"i missed you," you say, trying to manage an assuring smile. oh, he's so beautiful. you don't want to ruin your time together with your pain. "i didn't want to keep you waiting."

like a wave, the specter surges in front of you. his hands are balled into fists.

"who made you weep?" he says slowly, reeling in his rage as a riptide pulls a current back to the depths of the ocean.

"i'm fine," you begin to say, but before you can continue, the wraith extends a cold hand to your face and wipes a tear from your cheek. he brings his finger to his mouth, tastes the wet bead of your sorrow.

in that moment, the wraith sees the memory of a vile figure of a man with dark hair and an even darker heart. his hands are around your throat, telling you that you are worthless. that you better pay up or else.

when the specter's eyes open, they are nothing but endless wells of blue. his expression is placid. glassy. the calm before the storm.

"i will rend their flesh from their bones." ghostly tentacles manifest around him, writhing and roiling in the air as if itching to capture and constrict their prey. "they will bear witness to true terror."

"hey," you say softly, taking one of their hands in yours. you two only ever have so much time. already, the moon begins to wane. "i'm okay, alright? i promise."

the wraith softens. his tentacles calm. you are just how you have always been. how he has always loved you: gentle, optimistic, hopeful.

and in all the lives you have lived, you have always been a bad liar.

"the world is unkind." he gathers you into his arms and presses his lips against your temple. "but here, you will always be safe."

you sigh, the tension of the last few days leaving your body. it is only in the arms of an aberration that you can finally find solace. after a few moments, you fall asleep to his fingers running through your hair and the hum of a song that sets your soul at ease.

but soon the night ends as it always does. the wraith places your sleeping form back onto your bed.

his eyes are as red as the moon.

you are safe, as he promised. the hunt begins. you do not hear the screams that pierce through the night.

when you wake up the next morning, bailey's office is empty. you do not see him the day after. or the next.

[galadhir]

Silver Queen

One for @mircallaruthven who requested something about Celeborn at Celebrian's birth

Silver Queen

The chamber doors open. The midwife comes forth, swathed bundle in her arms. Celeborn would rise but the strength has drained from his legs. His has been the lighter task, but still he has been carrying these fears for a day and a half: Will Galadriel live? Will she come through this battle whole as she has come through many another, creating life this time rather than destroying it?

Will she have put so much craft and magic, so much of her own creative force, her fea, into the child that she has drained herself and is lessened by it? She never did like to do a thing half way.

Vain of her dignity, aware that to give birth is a thing one cannot do prettily, and unwilling to be seen in her travails, she had shut herself in with a healer and a midwife, and permitted no others to witness the birth, not even him. Every possible disaster has tormented his thoughts ever since.

Now he raises his head and breathes out. Galadriel is too sensible to die from a thing like this. She knows when restraint is necessary just as well as when to give her all.

He meets the midwife’s gaze. Alfirin is her name. She is nearly as old as he – he remembers her as a child in Menegroth, and even then she was never without a pocketful of newly born beasts. Doubtless, she has ushered more lives into the world than he has dispatched from it.

“You have a daughter, my Lord.”

The joy tries to hit him then. He pushes back the great shining silver wave of it long enough to gasp, “Galadriel?”

“She is well. Resting. Here.”

All this time she has been approaching. Now she lowers the bundle toward him. His arms come up to cup it, in an instinct born of long practice. There is an echo of Nimloth, of Dior, of Elwing, and then he parts the white cloth that swathes her and sees her tiny face and all at once there exists no one but her in all elven history.

Here is the little one to whom he sang the Nandorin songs of strengthening, when she was wrapped up in her mother and Galadriel’s bright eyes shone above her, humouring him. Here she is, whom they loved already, but whom they clearly had not loved enough.

He ghosts a fingertip along the slope of her nose, and the joy that had been oncoming now breaks over him, cutting the world out from beneath him, reshaping him. His chest aches as it is expanded to hold her. Part of him now.

Oh look at these tiny hands! Have there ever been hands as perfect as this? With their tiny moon-pale nails and their strong grip? Never, surely.

She opens her eyes, and they are Galadriel’s eyes, slate blue and imperious as she frowns at the sunbeam striking the tapestry above his head.

“Is it a little bright after all that darkness, my queen?” he laughs, feeling renewed, as though he were again no more than a hundred years old, and moves to the other side of the room, where she can look down into a shaded garden, over-run by wild roses. “There. Don’t be afraid. It’s not a bad world, and daddy will keep you safe.”

Tiny, tiny hands.

He brushes his own hand feather soft through downy hair that glints like water and tears burn in his eyes once more. “Did you know you have the King’s hair? Elu’s hair? How generous of your mother to choose it. She must have known what it would mean to me, to have his crown continue in my own child. When they see you, all the elves of Middle-earth will know you are Elu’s kindred. Royalty.”

“She must have a name, my Lord,” says Alfirin, and her brisk tone drags him back to the real world, where his daughter will be princess of a realm shared with the grandchildren of kinslayers. She will be looked down on by prideful Amanyar and eerie golden-eyed Maia alike as they pass by on their way to their forges.

Fine then. “Celebrian,” he says, in his mind already fighting any man who would disdain her, full of a soul splitting pain at the thought of anything hurting her in any way. Did she stumble and graze her knee he would break the ground beneath it. She would know only bliss. Misfortunes would have to come through him.

“For she is a descendant of kings and will be a mother of kings until the end of the earth.”

“And she’s queen of your heart,” Alfirin quipped, not quite rolling her eyes. She had doubtless heard many other similar declarations from other fathers before, and having survived Galadriel in the pains of labour was not intimidated by his bombast.

He looked back down to his daughter as she wrinkled her nose at a distant butterfly, and laughed, swinging back into worlds of joy.

“And she’s queen of my heart,” he concedes, full willingly. “So she is. My silver queen.”

[rainroses45]

Shattered Glass

☾description: Miguel and you get into an argument which leads you to see a not so pretty side of him

☾a/n: currently for other stuff for him and i just wrote this quickly at night NOT EDITED

☾song inspiration: love in the dark by adele

☾warnings: knife, angst, mentions of blood and puke, kinda yandere

His reflection glanced back at you like raindrops falling down a transparent mirror. Everywhere you turned, his red eyes laid there, following you as you tried to escape his harsh gaze.

Upon the shatter glass, laid the crumble flowers of mother earth, and what appeared to be her salty tears mourning the once’s gifted life. A pink tag ripped in half held two cursive names, one from and the other one to - both sharing a last name by choice, it was never by chance.

“Don’t you see I’m trying Y/n?!” His words ran across the once quiet room, scurrying towards the tippy top of the room searching for space in the already cramped atmosphere of tension.

“No.” You began once more, “No, Miguel - I don’t see, I don’t hear, and I mostly certainly to not feel like you are trying to change!”

“Vieja mendiga me estás cayendo tan mal!” Miguel gritted his teeth as he looked up from the celling then back to you. “That’s because you are too caught in your own selfishness, that you can’t lend a second of your precious time to witness anything other than yourself!” He pointed at you screaming again.

The clock had grown tired of hearing the same words being repeated, that its eyes only rolled back and forth in annoyance. Time had no place in this moment, and even if it did, what’s to stop you both from going all night?

It had been a simple disagreement at first. Miguel desperately yearned to have a child as soon as possible, while you wanted to wait a little longer for the violent, recurring missions to settle down. He wanted one now. You wanted to wait. The rest was history, which caused serval other topics to sprout from that one misplaced weed.

“Oh really?” You placed your hands on your hip, as you leaned forward. Your eyebrows shot up shocked at the words being thrown at you. “Says the man who’s never home!”

Miguel scoffs at your comment, crossing his arms and looking away from your furious gaze. “How do you want to raise this child Miguel?! Hm? Together, or do you just want me to play both roles as you go live in your office for the rest of our child’s li-”

“Enough!” He bellowed as both of his hands gripped his head. His palms covering his ears, in a desperate attempt to sound you out.

“No! No me voy a callar!” You stomped your foot down, shattering more glass, allowing your determined eyes to haunt every angle of your husband’s eyesight.

A silence began to sew its way into the air, making it appear as if all the wounds created were now stitched up to perfection.

Slowly you walked over the glass, and reached out to touch Miguel’s shoulder. A deep sigh escaped you in your tired state, even with this heavy burden of being a superhero, nothing could be harder than staying angry at someone who could die tomorrow.

“Miguel I’m sorry-“ Before you could finish, a blunt force pushed you to the wall, causing the chattery clock to fall down to your feet. It’s arrows spiraled down to the floor as it took one last bow.

“I said enough.” He whispered as his hand grabbed your jaw in place. A look of terror washed over you in gigantic amounts. His claws tug into your bruised cheek, leaving trickles of red to issue out of your veins, in a lagoon filled of bloody roses. So soft, so smooth, so very horrid, yet it blended in with his soul. The eyes always reflect back what’s in the soul.

You froze underneath his touch. A touch you once craved for warmth became the one that caused you whimper from the coldness brushing against your open wounds. Your husband, your Miguel, was now doing something he vowed never to do, and you just hung there - frozen as the memories of all the times he blemished you with his love brushed against your bruised heart in heavy blows.

It was not until you felt heavier in his arms that Miguel realized just what he had done. Quickly he removed his hands from your neck and took serval steps back. The scene in front of him made his stomach turn in so much disgust, he ran towards the apartment window to puke.

You groggy stood up as you held the wall behind you for support. The broken pieces were pushed away with your foot as you grabbed a knife from the kitchen. You didn’t want to hurt him, but he left you no choice - it was either be killed or let him suffer with a knife in the back.

Slowly, you take a peek inside the living room, only to find Miguel already slouched across the window wiping his mouth as tears flood his view. You began to walk back, but without being aware of your surroundings you accidentally crushed a piece of the clock, alerting Miguel to your presence.

“Amor?” He called out unsure if he heard you, or if his senses miss interpreted the noises inside his mind. You quickly hid behind a wall holding the knife towards you. You lowered your mask, allowing the blood to stain its once clean texture.

“Mi vida was that you?” He called out once again, “Please come out. I’m sorry.” With those words, your fear soon transformed into anger - boiling, hot hatred fueled by anger. The audacity he has to try and patch up the damage he has done with meaningless words!

“Lárgate Miguel,” you responded back, still hidden behind the wall. “Lárgate de mi vida!” You yelled out more determined than before.

“What?” He asked softly, still not being able to believe what he was hearing.

“You heard me Miguel.” Your voice surprising didn’t crack as you gripped the knife tighter.

His footsteps became louder as he made his way towards you, without hesitation you climbed to the corner of the celling in a defensive pose.

“Mi vida-“ He turned around believing you were still hiding behind the wall. “Where are you cariño?” Miguel spun around trying to see if you were in the kitchen.

“Ya no te quiero ver Miguel, por favor vete!” You wanted to cry, beg him to leave so you could continue on life without him, but Miguel never could listen. He was too stubborn to open his ears, this was also a component that was added to the argument.

“No amor por favor no digas eso por favor!” He began to beg to the hallway, unsure of where you were. “Perdóname, perdóname mi vida. No puedes dejarme solo, no puedo vivir sin ti amor. No puedo respirar, no puedo comer, no puedo dormir sin tener tu amor conmigo en mi corazón.” Miguel pleaded to the air as our - your tiny apartment echoed back his cries.

“Please Miguel, for me, for us…please leave, I can’t love you anymore.” Tear fled down your face, irritating your cuts, but it was minor compared to the pain in your chest.

Without another word, Miguel turned around to face the corner your currently were being held from.

“I knew you were there princesa,” You look at him in horror as he merely smirks back in fondness. “Pero no quiera decir nada because I didn’t want to scare you. But if you don’t love me anymore, I guess you leave me no choice then.” His movements were swift and precise. Your mask was ripped off of your face leaving your blood shot eyes matching his sinister red ones.

You were a fool to think a silly kitchen knife would protect you against the monstrosity of a husband. Miguel plucked it out of your hands, and before you could escape his grasp a familiar feeling hit you. His teeth tug into you, and before you could kick him off a feeling of numbness overtook your body.

The feeling of defeat never felt better seeing as he won nothing but false hope and life filled with grief. It didn’t matter in the end on how it ended, you will have the last laugh - it was canon.

I need to stop writing sad stuff…welp anywho I tried

[foliosriot]

LOVE’S THE DEATH OF PEACE OF MIND ♱ PART ONE

noah sebastian x reader

SUMMARY!!

you and your best friend, noah, messed around a few times. then bad omens releases their third album, and certain songs and lyrics hit a little too close to home.

WARNINGS!!

none.

masterlist. tdopom masterlist.

You’d slept longer than you would have liked. Waking up at 11:30AM was completely unexpected, but you could care less, especially since you don’t have work today.

With a full-body stretch and dramatic yawn, you slide off your bed. You wobble on your feet for a moment, then find your balance to walk into the bathroom.

What the mirror shows you is awful: dark bags under your eyes, tangled hair, creases along your cheek from where you had been positioned against your pillows. Your reflection makes you cringe. But you don’t do anything to remedy your appearance as you do your business. (You do, at least, rake your fingers through your hair in an attempt at taming it.)

When you’re finished, you shamble back into your room and promptly flop down onto your bed. You’ve been working like crazy recently, so the exhaustion that has tightly gripped you is warranted. But you are not enjoying it, even if you’re the one that has been picking up extra shifts. This one is on you, not the universe.

You groan inwardly as you push yourself upward. You reach for your phone that’s plugged in on your nightstand, then shift into a sitting position against your headboard as you begin your morning social media routine.

Your Instagram is flooded with posts upon posts about Bad Omens’ new album. You immediately curse yourself for forgetting the album’s release date had been much sooner than you’d initially expected.

As you continue scrolling through your feed and swiping through stories, you keep seeing the same image. It was a woman, completely nude, hunched over on a bench of sorts. The red scenery was almost too much, but you couldn’t stop yourself from loving the album art choice. It was simple yet beautiful but eye-catching, and it stood out in a way you knew only Noah would have seen.

Oh god.

Noah.

Noah, your best friend, worked so fucking hard on this third LP. He is too much of a perfectionist to not get every little detail just right. You witnessed him do vocal takes over and over countless times. You saw him scrap samples that you had personally loved. The pride he’s feeling at the media’s response must be overwhelming for him, but in the best way possible. He deserves the recognition.

However, you know that the lead up to the release date had been memorable for both of you. Just not in the way of songwriting or mixing tracks.

It had started roughly a month after your ex broke up with you, about a year and a half ago. You were hanging out with Noah at your apartment, music playing from your speaker as you were drawing on your iPad and Noah was, undoubtedly, writing lyrics for a song he was working on.

He had been singing along to the song was that had been playing, his voice distracting you from whatever you had been doing. If you remember correctly, it was Science & Faith by The Script, a song you love dearly. And the way he had sang along — at first soft and quiet, almost absentmindedly, then using his entire chest like a live performance — captured your attention completely.

You’d watched him until the song ended, his gaze never leaving his journal. Then he was reaching out for his mug of tea and he caught your eye.

“What?” he’d asked.

A small smile. “Nothing,” you told him. “Just really love your voice.”

Noah had continued singing along to the songs that came on, and you just kept watching. The air became charged and vibrated with a tension you had never felt around Noah. But then that tension had snapped when your eyes had met, Give by Sleep Token wrapping around you both.

Suddenly your lips were on each other and previous tasks were forgotten. You had gladly let Noah have his way with you.

Afterwards, you agreed that such an intimate experience wouldn’t tarnish your friendship. And it didn’t! But then it happened again. And again. And again.

The last time you two had messed around was six months ago. Your constant texting and phone calls dwindled over those months, and you couldn’t bring yourself to do anything about it. And apparently, neither could Noah.

Something in your friendship had changed, but neither one of you had wanted to acknowledge it. You had simply decided that putting distance between each other would fix whatever happened. But it didn’t fix anything; it just made you miss and crave him more as the days went by.

You have wanted Noah more than anything for years. You had thought there was something between you, but had been ultimately proven wrong.

Shrugging off the memories, you close out of Instagram to open up Spotify, and you are immediately met with THE DEATH OF PEACE OF MIND. You nibble on your bottom lip for just a moment before you’re tapping play, keeping shuffle off.

As you listen to the album you remain sitting in bed. You can feel the energy and excitement that overtakes you as you’re enjoying CONCRETE JUNGLE, then going slack jawed by the sheer talent present in Nowhere To Go. The sudden melancholy and regret that you’re met with from Take Me First takes you by surprise, but you’re loving the lyrics too much to dwell on those feelings.

The fourth track is the album’s namesake: THE DEATH OF PEACE OF MIND. The instrumental intro is awfully beautiful, and you’re nearly taken aback when the first verse begins.

Noah’s voice is gorgeous. It is so soothing and comforting, and then you’re closing your eyes to take it all in. For a moment, you think you’re somewhere else.

Different bed sheets beneath you. Heat radiates from every pore of your body. The curtains are drawn together and the only lights are the strips of LED you’ve always found a bit tacky. There are familiar hands grasping at your thighs and hips, hot breath against your skin. Lips on your neck and teeth biting—

You’re in the walls that I made, with crosses and frames

Hanging upside down

For granted, in vain, I took everything

I ever cared about

I miss the way you say my name

The way you bend, the way you break

Your makeup running down your face

The way you fuck, the way you taste

Your eyes fling open. You had been taken back to a memory, one you fear may never leave your mind. The pre-chorus has your heart racing uncontrollably, and you’re frozen in place as you continue listening. You have no words. There’s a sliver of you that knows Noah wrote that about you. But you aren’t completely certain when the next song starts.

The way What It Cost bleeds into Like A Villain shakes you out of your frozen stupor. The transition is beautiful and you find yourself falling for the lyrics.

Then bad decisions catches you off guard. It’s mellow compared to the front of the album, and even the entirety of Bad Omens’ discography. Still undeniably beautiful, you think.

Just Pretend has you reeling. You knew Noah had written it a few years before but did not expect him to actually use it for any upcoming records. There are a few lines you remember him telling you about from way back when, and you smile small at their presence in the song.

The back of the album is just as perfect. You find yourself resisting the urge to jump along to the addictive nature of What do you want from me? and the sucker punch that is ARTIFICIAL SUICIDE. And then Miracle, the closing track, is simply perfect in every way possible.

When the music stops, you suddenly feel all weird on the inside. There’s an overhanging sense of emptiness, but the weirdness coiling into a knot in the pits of your stomach prevents that void from sinking in fully.

THE DEATH OF PEACE OF MIND is a phenomenal record, front to back. It is beautifully produced, the instrumentals and lyricism working together in a way you’ve never heard before. You have no qualms about making it your album of the year (at least until Motionless In White’s new record in a couple months, that is).

But the beauty of the songs and lyrics does nothing to calm your nerves. The boys had been working hard on every single detail when you and Noah had messed around that handful of times. There was no denying the obvious inspiration Noah had derived from you.

You sit in silence for several minutes, debating on what to do. You know you need to text your friends and tell them how proud of them you are. It takes a bit to finally scrounge up that courage, then you’re finally closing Spotify and going in to your messages to text Noah first. But your thumb is hovering above his contact, almost as if you can’t find it in yourself to simply congratulate your best friend on such a huge success.

It’s embarrassing, really. You can’t ignore your own selfish feelings to just admit you’re fucking proud of him? Because you should be proud of your best friend.

So instead of messaging Noah, you search for the rest of the bands’ contacts. Maybe, this way, you can actually convince yourself to eventually applaud him if you do the same to his fellow band members, your mutual friends, first.

You: CONGRATS ON THE NEW ALBUM!! It is so beautiful and I’m so fucking proud of you! Your drumming is insane and I can’t wait to hear you fuck it up live 🖤🤯 I LOVE YOU!!!!!

Fisherman Folio🎣🥁: THANK YOU! Your support over the years means everything to us, and I can’t believe you’ve been here since the beginning. I love you too!!

You: CONGRATS ON THE NEW ALBUM!! I’m so fucking proud of you guys and it is soooo beautiful! The bass lines are incredible 🖤🖤 I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!

Nicholas🐱🩶: Thank you so much!! I’m so happy with how it came out and I’m happy you like it! Your support means everything. Love you <3

You: CONGRATS ON THE NEW ALBUM!! You went all out on the production and I could not be prouder of this beautiful record! The guitars are amazing (especially in artificial suicide like wtf?????) 🖤🖤 I LOVE YOU!!!!!

Jolly🎸☀️: Thank you! We worked super hard on it and the feedback has been so positive. Thank you for being here from day one. If it weren’t for you and Vincent we would not be where we are. Love you!!

The guys’ messages all bring tears to your eyes, but Jolly’s is the one that has the dam breaking. You smile at your phone as tears streak down your cheeks. Your heart is aching with the urge to hug them all.

A couple minutes later, when the tears have subsided and you’re wiping away the last few stragglers, your phone buzzes. From where it’s laying face up beside you on your bed you can see that it’s another text from Jolly. Your eyebrows pinch slightly in confusion as you pick up your phone.

Jolly🎸☀️: You haven’t said anything to Noah yet, have you?

The singular sentence has you swearing softly then biting your tongue. Jolly is basically your big brother, and he didn’t have to say anything before you were telling him everything about what had happened between you and Noah. He cares about both you and Noah too much to see anything come between you two. Especially considering Noah has been your best friend since he met Nicholas, and thus met you.

But the text bubble seems to be glaring up at you as you stare down at it. It’s not quite a secret that you and Noah haven’t talked in a while, so it’s almost as if Jolly’s text is mocking you. You hardly even react when you see those three little dots pop up and bob as Jolly types.

You sigh through your teeth. You hesitantly begin typing out a response, watching the dots pause and disappear.

You: No not yet

Jolly🎸☀️: Why?

You: Idk, doesn’t feel like my place ig

Jolly🎸☀️: You’re kidding right? Noah has been asking me if I’ve heard from you, if you’ve even listened to the album. He wants your feedback and attention and it’s getting really fucking annoying hearing him be mopey. He wants to hear from you ok? So for my sanity I say you at least text him a quick congrats, maybe your favorite song while you’re at it…

You: Fine, now fuck off and enjoy your huge accomplishment

Jolly doesn’t reply; all he does is like your response in acknowledgement. Which leaves you anxious as you hold your phone limply in your hands.

You breathe deeply. The phone in your hands is practically screaming at you to talk to Noah, to just let him know you listened. And you’re not sure what finally gets you to swipe away from your conversation with Jolly and opening yours with Noah. But you’re already typing and hitting send before you can take it back.

You: Congrats on the album! You’re insanely talented and you should be so proud of yourself! I’m torn between TDOPOM and Miracle as my favorite song :)

You toss your phone to the side, like it’s a bomb that is about to detonate. Having it in your grasp felt too dangerous. Letting it sit a couple feet away from you made you feel a bit better, you suppose.

The phone is silent for awhile. You remain sitting in the spot on your bed, terror bubbling in your chest as you wait for a notification of any kind. But the screen remains dark, and you keep chewing anxiously on your lip and tongue.

Maybe fifteen minutes later, you’re about to give up on waiting for a reply. Noah’s phone is probably blowing up from people congratulating him and the band, so it doesn’t seem worth idling by.

Then your phone vibrates. The screen switches on, and your screensaver is lighting up the singular notification present.

You already know who it’s from.

With shaking fingers, you unlock your phone and open up your messages. There’s one new text. Then another comes in when you press the contact.

Noah: Your love and support means the fucking world. I’m glad you were able to find some favorites lol

Noah: Ok look, I’m sorry if this is crossing a line or whatever but I just wanted you to know that there are a few songs and lyrics about you, if you didn’t catch onto that already. I miss you x

thank you for reading! i hope you enjoyed! likes and reblogs are very much appreciated <3

♱ foliosriot 2023