#oh this is so adorable and hilarious as fuck
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Note
Thoughts for feral sparkling Orion in the Divorce AU being raised by Alpha Trion. He's like "ah my brother" and expects to treat him as he did before just smaller since he wasn't around Sparklings much and then his life becomes pure chaos.
Orion bites hands that move too fast near him because in the Acid Wastes where he bubbled into life alone that meant a predator and he had to react agressively to deter them. Alpha Trion constantly going to Remedy, Head Doctor in Iacon, to get repairs and saying he has everything under control. Ratchet the mentee of said doctor Doubts.
Orion climbs on top of the highest bookshelves and leaps down at unexpecting "prey" cue his future co-workers learning quickly how to avoid being attacked and "always look up". Ironhide meeting his Prime when he's sent to pick up a book and flying toddler descends for his face only to be beaten back by an archivist who leaps forward and grabs him midair by the scruff bar giving him a little shake and bearing her own teeth until he backs down enough to be sat down. And Ironhide stunned watches the Sparkling scuttle away and this is how he meets Chromia, who is the best at handling Orion because she wrestles back.
Ratchet, young innocent, first form Ratchet who is a very obedient studious preteen watching horrified as they attempt to give Orion his shoots.
Everyone who knew him during this phase just looking at Jazz who jokingly says Orion needs to be a little wilder, he's too polite and shuddering and absolutely none of them being surprised by the Megatronus Thing.
Omg yes, Alpha Trion just being clueless to newling behavior
That's adorable, ohhh. Remedy and Ratty know full well AT had his hands full and then some when it came to baby Orion. He's like a damn wolverine, absolutely willing to take on "prey" many times his size🥰
Chromia: "bACK! BACK I SAY! BAD ORION, BAD!"
Ironhide was just flummoxed, and Chromia is like "yeah he does that, you okay? Did he bite you yet? Have you had your tetanus shot?"
ohhh nooo Ratty nooooo. I exactly HC too that Orion/Optimus is just. So way terrible when it comes to getting his vaccines and always has been. I saw it in one damn fic but the idea is the best.
Jazz over here trying to goad Ori back into bad habits /j
#none of them were surprised about Megatronus. none.#maccadam#transformers#divorce au#oh this is so adorable and hilarious as fuck#ratchet then: i don't ever want kids if they're like that.#alpha trion: how hard could this be? he's just a small cybertronian— we can be civil about this#camp Mithril Lake
14 notes
·
View notes
Note
this nemesis ambition started out a little slow but I am getting closer to finding that bastard who killed my wife, and I’ll not rest a minute now that im far closer to on his trail
sorry got in character for a second
Anyways fun ambition so far very fucked up though
congratulations on joining the murder club anon!!!! depending on who you ask the name refers to either people who have murdered or people who have witnessed murder. usually both. actually extremely often both. it's a swell time you'll feel right at home (don't mind our collective skyglass knife collection in the back)
#im still not far into nemesis personally but im very much enjoying it#honestly in a weird way it feels like it's moving faster than HD did. which. is funny bc nemesis is like The gated behind item grinds quest#idk. HD was a fun slowburn where we adventured around gathering our rogues gallery before the action kicked in#nemesis on the other hand feels like im picking up halfway through a batman serial#fallen london#ask#it's WAY more fucked up right off the bat than HD was. honestly ive thought abt red honey for ages. that's so fucked up#and we LEAD with that?? Okay#definitely a horrors-filled ambition befitting caeru (the guy who's constantly going through horrors)#it really encourages you to get fucked up and freaky and in ur character's headspace at basically every step along the way#i only have HD to compare it too but HD was like. a lot more interpretative in comparison? at least to me. that's what it felt like#and i adore HD for that dont get me wrong here#HD just also waited until like. halfway through before it asked what the scoundrel actually Wanted out of its heart's desire#nemesis in comparison is right off the bat who died? who are you mourning? anguish. justice. there must be vengeance.#it's a delightfully different vibe!! i like it!!!#oh god sorry anon im doing the classic yin talking way too much in the tags thing again#i havent had much excuse to talk abt nemesis and what i think of it so far and of course its rp effects on caeru#but i do have a handful of thoughts on it#it's good. im liking it so far. it's starting very strong if nothing else. and i have no spoiler knowledge of what happens in the future#beyond the choice between rewards at the very end#and im SO curious how we'll get to that point. what horrors will we adventure through next? off we go to find out!#it's biggest glaring weakness so far is how horrendously grindy it is. and like. ive been warned and done my research ahead of time#im doing it on the same account im seeking. i knew what i was getting into. but also gots damn.#in comparison HD's 5-card lodgings and dreamgate feel like footnotes#anyway while im already way too deep into rambling did you know the honey trip gives you fate?? insane. why does it do that. hilarious even
39 notes
·
View notes
Text
OOH YEAH BABY! PARTY TIME BABY! MUSIC! DRINKS! SOCIAL PRESSURE & A PSYCHEDELIC BREAK DOWN! WELCOME TO VAMPIRE SOCIETY MOTHERFUCKER! ARE YOU SCARED? DO YOU UNDERSTAND YET? ITS OKAY IF NOT. FIRE DISSOLVED IT! ITS ALL GONE NOW. HAVE FUN!
#jrwi fanart#jrwi show#jrwi suckening#jrwi suckening spoilers#RRAAHH IM IN LOVE WITH THIS SHOW SOOO GOODDAMN MUCH!! each o these characters has STOLEN my HEART!!!#LIKE EMIZEEELLL i love emizel so much.. runnin around announcing that HE isa PRINCE while shiloh FINALLY quietly clicks the pieces together#nathan hanover you MADMAN!!! that slow dramatic guitar riff as emizel makes that announcement was so fuckin COOL UGHHHH#MR HANOVER DOES IT AGAIN just creating tracks that absoultely WORM into my MIND and HHEAARRT UUGHHGHH#emizel is so cool and so funny and so adorable UUGHH ill gush abt him more when i finally post my emizel n soda doodle page#ARTHUR FUCKING BENNET. i totally get why grizz has a hard time playing him. hes cool and stoic n its not easy to play a man o little words#BUT BBOOOY DOES HE DO IT WELL!! arthur DOES come off as so stoic n cool & it just makes his lil misfortunes all the more charming#like falling into the red fear or confrontin edward twilight or accidentally doing lsd. I LOVE THATS HES THE BAD LUCK GUY.#okay uhhu uhh i have limited room here what else should i say uhh. THE NPCS. MY GOD THE NPCS. CHARLIE U WONDERFUL MADMAN#edward twilight is SUCH a funny fucking antagonist. and supposedly his magic stuff is super scary?? SO EXCITED TO SEE MORE OF THAT#ill ramble abt mr deacon keller later eheh i have a. uh. a doodle page in the works. so in the meantime DAYBRINGER SOLOMON!!#��HERE COMES THE SUN MOTHERFUCKER!” “ILL SEE YOU IN HELL. NOT. IM GOING TO HEAVEN. BITCH.” like come on now. oh my god. i need him#BIG POWERFUL BEAST AND EVERY WORD HE SAYS HAS ME CRACKING UP. THE MUFFLED VOICE IN THE DARK BROKEN BY “LIGHT!”#TRULY HILARIOUS AND YET TRULY HORRIFYING. I FUCKIN LOVE CHARLIE NPCS SO MUCH. I HOPE WE SEE HIM AGAIN OHH MY GOOOODDD#OKAYokay. im normal now. ill talk abt the piece. if u read my tags this far then u get special secret knowledge abt the artistic process#IM VERY HAPPY WITH MY COLORS! i know they were hallucinating on drugs so i just recalled the times i did drugs & used that as my influence#REMEMBER KIDS! acid is totally fine if ur safe and responsible about it. do acid and then stare at my art for a bit trrruuust me. IT MOVES!#anyway i think thats all my thoughts here. thank you for looking at my art n thanku if ur one o the ppl that says nice things in the tags#U are LITERLY my life blood i pick up each of u n kiss u so sweetly on the head. remember to try acid!!!!
135 notes
·
View notes
Text
ok no im so tired but ive had this Thing a Laughingstock Concept Thing in my Brain for Days Now and its.... basically what if Barnaby adopted a lil caterpillar. like it's not sapient or anything its literally A Wriggly Puppet Prop. but he finds it in his home and it reminds him of Howdy and he keeps it. he carries it everywhere. he treats it so tenderly and names it and everything. his delusional smitten subconscious is like "omg... mine & howdy's <3" he and Howdy are not even together at this point
so Barnaby cares for this lil caterpillar and Howdy ends up getting attached as well, because he's on the same shit as Barnaby. and eventually the lil caterpillar pupates, and they watch over the chrysalis So Excited to see what lil wormie will look like as a butterfly. and it emerges and they're so proud and weirdly emotional. the butterfly takes off on its first flight and lands on a flower patch
just in time for Eddie to trip and fall on the patch, instantly crushing it And the butterfly
#in my mind eddie is all 'oh man :( thank goodness frank wasnt around to see that' and then goes about his business#completely missing howdy & barnaby watching on In Horror off to the side#not lil wormie... no....#also in my mind lil wormie looks like the fuckn. Adorable worm from sesame street#oscars little friend i think? the cutest little thing in the world? the little red wormie? yeah....#but im feeling very Tender about bigass dog barnaby toting around this teensie weensie lil worm thing#treating it with utmost care and affection#big characters caring for absolutely tiny thing kills me every fucking time#bury me shallow... ill be back to die again....#absolutely unprompted#laughingstock#ohhhh my god im not even gonna say how i almost butchered the laughingstock tag#sometimes i type letters in the wrong order or add an extra one. that would have been so unfortunate but Deeply Hilarious#ANYWAY LIL WORMIE IS AN ESTABLISHED THING IN MY MIND AND I DONT KNOW WHY#maybe... maybe tomorrow i will scribble it...#also to be clear the events of this post all happen within a week or two.#it is a brief shining Worm Time#ok going to bed now officially. im going#wait no i have to complain about something ive done to myself hold on#so i really like reeses puffs cereal yeah? but the problem is it cuts up my mouth to hell and back and makes eating anything a Pain#tried to eat sauerkraut tonight... it burned... the roof of my mouth is so scraped up...#i Will be eating another bowl when i wake up tho. its too tasty. i can take the annoyance that is minor pain. i have a high tolerance <3#can i easily Not eat it? yeah. but i dont want to stop. nothing will stop me. its a jumbo box. i Will Finish It.#anyway wormie <3 gonna go think about her <3
92 notes
·
View notes
Text
SO!! I finished the Evil Art Style Challenge... How well did I do? :D My usual style is the topmost/first image, while my interpretation of my 'evil' style is the bottom/second image! Utilized my best boy Marcus for this experiment, ohoho
Based on what you guys told me, my normal style is the following: Cartoony, Variation in line weight, Thick + Round lines, Colours that pair well together, Saturated/bright colours, and of course, lots of sparkles/highlights/ambient light. And thus, because of that, my "evil" style would be: More realistic, No variation in line weight, Thin lines, Sharp/squared off lines, Not great colour combos, Desaturated colours, and lastly- Incredibly matte/dull in appearance.
#Kaileys Art#Evil Art Style Challenge#Marcus Courtois#Wermling#Drawing the evil style was So Fucking Hilarious and SO HARD OKAY but I absolutely adore how it turned out. oh my god.#look at this absolute cryptid. I'm crying I can't believe I drew that with mine own hands he looks so WEIRD!!!!!!!!!!#Evil Art Style Marcus isn't real and cannot hurt you#Evil Art Style Marcus:
29 notes
·
View notes
Text
I am dead.
I can't stop laughing.
This might be one of my favorite Michael moments ever.
#I KEEP REWATCHING IT BECAUSE IT'S SO FUCKING FUNNY#His face and voice I CAN'T oh my gosh#5sos#5 seconds of summer#michael clifford#michael 5sos#im fucking dying#hilarious#also I miss red hair Michael#adorable baby
46 notes
·
View notes
Text
sam.....
#oh i love him#that it's been him and rebecca texting us fucking hilarious and adorable#bluebird.txt#also rebecca is just so fucking hot huhh#ted lasso#wait just realized 'sam....' might confuse tmagp people lol
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
I had the best time of my life pitching a silly little idea to stream tonight and watching them bring it alive even more.
It’s amazing that I can just go “Hey what if Tim stalked villains instead of Batman and get adopted by Ed and Oswald.” And chat immediately goes “Yes and”
Before I know it, Tim is kind of best friends kind of enemies with Red Hood Jason, and they bicker and bully each other constantly but that’s just their fucking dynamic. They argue over whose death is more valid, Jason who actually died or Tim who only died legally. They follow each other around the city sometimes just to fucking annoy each other. Jason isn’t allowed in Oswald’s house because he’s dead and Oz doesn’t want rotting child stinking up his house.
And oh Martin from Gotham is also there, and Tim’s his big brother and it’s fucking great. Tim goes by The Quandary and works alongside Riddler when he’s younger while Martin follows Oswald’s footsteps but somewhere as they age they start to cross over. Tim gets more interested in using business to control Gotham like Oz did. Decides it’s time for a new name, and this one actually kind of gets assigned to him.
Because hey everyone said he looked like that Drake kid who disappeared years ago, whose face haunted the back of milk cartons for years before he was declared dead. They were already calling him Drake. Why not take on the title. Especially when it provides cool dragon branding that no other villain in Gotham has.
And sure Jason is a shit about it, but Tim gets to be a shit right back because Jason just stole Red Hood from Joker.
And Zsasz loves being an Uncle and giving Tim dubious advice and showing him fun ways to kill.
And it’s just a fucking messed up crime family, all because Tim is fucking unhinged and loved what Riddler and Penguin did and he stalked villains because they were ~cool~ and exciting and he’s a fucking freak.
#ravenpuff rambles#god y’all you need to stop by theBoneHouse we have the most amazing discussions#im like actually fucking losing it this idea was so simple when I started and they fucking made it beautiful#just fucking exploded#and I love my fucking unhinged Tim who we all know was one bad day from being a villain anyways#and his fucking adopted parents because Ed went ‘look hes smart and has bad parents like me!’#and Tim met Oswald and immediately started gushing about being a huge fan and Oz went ‘Oh he can stay.’#and like honestly isn’t it hilarious for a 13 year old to be running around Gotham leaving clues for riddles#and calling Batman stupid for being outwitted by a child lol idiot#Bruce has no idea who this sassy child is but they won’t let him adopt them and he’s very frustrated by it#god I just adore this idea#maybe I’ll write some of it one day. just for the fun
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
anxiety gone i rewatched tmnt 1990 and i'm healed <3
#.txt#first time i saw it i was like :/ about it. cheesy out of date etc etc#but seeing it for the second time has opened my eyes it's consistently fucking hilarious and i adore all of the characters#cheesy so so cheesy but i mean it /aff this time. oh my god i love this movie. new comfort film hands down <3
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
"dear PornHub.." kasjjskaja
#Jack stop being so fucking cute oh my god you ABSURD ADORABLE MAN#its a me post#reading a power unbound#this is hilarious and ridiculous and so fucking cute#who the fuck writes a letter to their favorite pornography writer#i dont even know what the letter said yet im too busy giggling
1 note
·
View note
Text
The Justice League (Especially Justice League Dark) are full on Panicking. They kidnapped the children of a world ending being. It would be bad enough if they were teenagers (as proven when someone takes one of Batman’s kids). But they’re babies. Literal babies!
Batman doesn’t even know what a contingency for this is because he never thought it would happen.
What would he even do? Try to kill the rightfully angry parent for trying to get his kids back? Even if he succeeded somehow that would make the kids parentless. Bruce has parental trauma ok? He can’t inflict that one another kid, even if they might not remember. (It’s his one weakness when it comes to contingencies).
Constantine is curled up in the corner, praying. The JL think they broke him.
Prompt 105
A cult summons the ghost king. Except they don’t. Instead they get these tiny white-haired triplets of toddlers blinking at the summoning circle looking confused.
They’ve gotten the ghost princes and princess instead.
The very young princes and princess who are none too pleased and going to cause problems on purpose for both rogues and heroes alike. As godlings de-aged into their ghost age are like to do.
Meanwhile in the Realms, Pariah is staring down at where his trio of ghost toddlers that Clockwork had handed him when he had first woken up and was still groggy just disappeared from. He looks over at Fright Knight, his dearest brother, who looks just as shocked.
Clockwork is going to kill them both if they don’t get the kids back now.
#dcxdp#dpxdc#dan fenton#danny fenton#ellie fenton#pariah dark#fright knight#clockwork#ghost prince danny#prompts#What did Clockwork do? Good question#The Observants sure are regretting some things now though#Pariah was still half asleep when the sarcophagus opened and when three babies were dumped into his arms#His core latched on before he even registered that his maybe-ex was there#Do they count as exes when they never divorced#well if he doesn't get the kids back they sure will be#meanwhile the JL are pulling their hair out#JL Dark are hysterically laughing#Oh god Pariah Dark fuckin procreated they're all so dead#Oh no it's literal toddlers oh fuck#Klarion somehow befriends them via the power of “want to pet my cat”#hilariously all the realms think that the triplets are bio Clockwork's and Pariah's and nothing can convince them otherwise#Look they have Clockwork's hair color! And that one has Pariah's flames awww!#They even have their eyes how adorable!
3K notes
·
View notes
Text
toji’s little pregnant wife who’s only pregnancy craving is his thick, bitter cum </3
“but.. i want it..” you pester toji, tugging on his arm. you groan at the way your big, soft belly gets in the way of completely smothering the man, but it doesn’t stop you.
“no,” he grunts back, shaking his hands off as he places back the last dish from your two’s meal prior. “i can’t have y’hurtin’ yourself. i’ll never forgive myself if ya do.”
“i-it’s a craving, toji,” you joke, but truthfully you know you’re serious. looking up at him with watery eyes, you’re undeniably desperate, your plush thighs growing achy and soft cunny growing hot at the thought. “please toji, wan’ y’r cum.” you purr.
he scowls, cursing at the hard bulge that undeniably presses against the countertop. he tried his very best to deny your little pleads , that’s enough right ? if his pregnant wife really insists, wouldn’t it be right to accept so ? he wonders.
“t-toji,” you moan, like a bunny in heat.
“fuck me, princess.”
“i-i wil—“
before you’re able to finish your sentence, he’s hoists you into his arms with no trouble, making his way towards the soft couch displayed in your home’s living room. you giggle uncontrollably when he nuzzles himself against your neck, blowing soft raspberries against your skin, which has grown sensitive throughout the term of your pregnancy.
“ill jus’ finger you, how about it ? i don’t want ya on yer knees , mama.”
“no.. n-not enough.” you mumble into his chest, tugging against his ribbed tank top. “wan’ your cock. in my mouth, your cum—“
he finds it hilarious, you’re so adorable. he thinks the celibacy for the sake of your two’s baby may have have been the cause of all this attention, but he wouldn’t have it any other way.
“insatiable little dolly, aren’t you ?”
“mhm, i missed you s’much.”
“‘m right here mama.” he lays you against the soft cushion, pressing a kiss against the back of your hand.
“y’sure ya wanna do this ? y’don’t have to.” as if you were doing it for his sake. your legs ache and shiver with anticipation, already able to feel your mouth salivating at the thought. “want to, i want to !”
“shh, don’t get so worked up, now.” he chuckles, “stress is bad for the baby.” he drops the softest plushie on the ground, and leading your supple body against his lower half. you sit obediently between his legs, sore cunt throbbing erratically at the anticipation.
“take him out, dolly.” he smirks, watching you tug down his thin sweats, huffing at the stiff bulge that presses against his cotton boxers. you fumble your little fingers against his cock, nervous at how he seems to be watching you so intently, watching your each and every move, finding any reason to stop.
your breath is hot against his budge, slithering your hand against his boxer clad cock before pulling the fabric below his plump balls. he groans at the juxtaposition of your soft fingers against his meaty dick; oh how much he missed the mere sight of such.
“‘m gonna cum just like this mama.” he jokes alongside panty groans, twitching when you press your plush lips against his tip without hesitation. you envelop your warmth around his swelling cock head, pink tongue lolling out and dragging through his hefty slit.
you moan at the taste of his salty musk coating your eager tongue, hands fondling at his pudgy balls as you ease yourself further closing in on his base.
“just like that, just like that mama. yer doin’ p-perfect.” he sighs, petting your hair gently. his fingers stroke through your soft locks, curling a finger around the stray pieces that’s fallen in front of your face, and tucking them behind your ear.
“gorgeous lady, my pretty wife, hm?” he watches you fuck your own cheek with his cock, drooling unexpectedly at the overwhelming girth. “juuust like that.”
“pwah—!”
“what’s wrong , dolly ?” he mumbles with a tint of worry. he runs a thumb across your swollen bottom lip, pressing his sticky thumb back into your mouth as you eagerly suck. “‘s-s too g-gud,” you mumble. “wan’ more.”
“s all yours, darling. take yer time.”
your hot breath causes toji to twitch, shoving his cock mindlessly back into your mouth. you press your throat onto the blunt tip, hot tongue swirling around the un-cut tip.
with a few more pumps of your hot mouth assaulting his sensitive tip, he spurts a heavy load into the warmth of your mouth with soft groans, hand leading yours to jerk at the rest of his cock. “fuck, damn.” he groans breathlessly, barely visible beads of sweat crowning at his forehead.
you swirl your nut-covered tongue against his dick, making a mess. it drools down his cock, dirtying his now-soft sack, coating your plush lips in a soft creme white. toji tugs on the cushion tightly, allowing you to have your fun although he’s well beyond overstimulation and close to passing out. not from the simulation itself, but the way you look so innocent below him, yet you’re really so nasty.
definitely his wife.
“that’s it.” he watches you slowly swallow his cum, throat bulging gently every time you take a gulp; just the prettiest sight. although your mouth emptied, lips licked clean, you continue licking at his dirtied shaft, taking everything you can get.
he scruffles your hair, a light tug at your head to pull your suckling lips away from his sensitive cock. he leans down, pressing a sloppy kiss against your lips and pressing your head to close in on him. he sucks on your flavorful tongue, tasting himself. “damn, doll. really haven’t lost yer touch, huh? no wonder we’re perfect f’eachother.”
#jjk#jjk smut#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen smut#fushiguro toji x reader#toji <3#toji toji toji toji#toji smut#jujutsu toji#jjk toji#jujutsu kaisen toji#toji zenin#toji fushiguro#toji x reader#toji fushiguro smut#toji x you#drabbles ⋆⑅˚₊
10K notes
·
View notes
Text
yester day was soo much fun
#like#woahh what an avdenture !!#i was sitting outside talking to my friend on discord#and a crow went cawwww right next to me and it made me laugh and i started talking about all of the things that live like the animals#and stuff#and i said “we have crows and ravens and- ”CAWWW!“ ”i know!! im talking about you little guy!!“ ”cawww!!!“#so adorable#a good friend of mine decided to agree to watch beginn/ers bibl/e with me and it was soo much fun#we watched adam and eve and nativity#and oh my goodness#i got so fucking excited over toon/briel i accidentally knocked over my entire speaker system and almost turned off my pc#i might post the clip at some point it would be hilarious#but i still feel a little fuzzy but it was a great 21st birthday#i was informed by some friends i was sitting outside staring at the moon and crying over too/nbriel and thats very funny#good times#personal
1 note
·
View note
Text
ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ Matchmaking Buns
-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈ in which your bunnies inadvertently lead you into meeting your new neighbors, who are far too endeared by you from the get-go <3
╭── ⋅ ⋅ ── ✩ ── ⋅ ⋅ ──╮
The thing is, you absolutely adore your bunnies. Two holland lops, one mini lop, and a flemish giant all together with full freedom of your house and a big garden for them to play in- with a bet overhead to protect them against hawks and whatever else. Hell, they even have a patio in case it rains.
You absolutely adore them. You worked your ass off to have a house like this, and then have enough money and space to give them everything they need. They are the lights of your life.
Simultaneously, they might possibly be your biggest source of headache.
All this space, all these spots and nooks and crannies for them to hide and play in- and their favorite activity still remains having you chase them down the road like the incorrigible brats they are. None of your neighbors are surprised by the sight anymore, often helping you but right now there isn’t anyone around except a group of men that you ignore. They must be the new neighbors.
(God, your embarrassment will know no bound after this.)
“You fucking four bastards! Once I catch you- ugh!” You shout, aiming it at those little monsters that remain living rent-free in your house as you run fast after them. But-
Oh no. Oh noooo. The four men, the new neighbors, turn around at your shout; likely assuming you meant it at them. Only to have your bunnies barrel through and between their legs.
After this, once you get those brats back, you will have to join them in finding a burrow to hide in your garden. That’s the only solution.
God must be smiling down at you, though; God must be satisfied by the regular entertainment you provide, because the men catch the bunnies. All four men catch all your four bunnies. It’s almost hilarious seeing your mini-lop in the hands of the big(gest) dude with the surgical mask. The tiny bastard doesn’t even seem mildly bothered, just nosing around the man’s chin and mask. Your two holland hops are in the hands of a very pretty man- wow, what eyelash serum does he use?- and a man who is wearing a boonie hat. Your flemish giant chills in the hands of the one with the mohawk.
You slow down as you jog towards them, trying to catch your breath. The amusement and confusion on their faces would’ve almost been comical if you weren’t so embarrassed.
“Oh- oh my god, I’m so, so sorry-” You begin, cheeks pink. Fuck, you weren’t even anything that appropriate either; jean shorts and a rather thin top. “I’m sooo sorry, jesus christ. They- they usually don’t bother other people when they do this-“
“They do this often?” Boonie hat man raises an eyebrow, chuckling.
You nod, glaring down at the bunny who just… stares right back at you. Little beast. Evil little beast that enjoys your suffering. “Yeah… they get a certain joy out of my suffering. Once again, I’m so sorry-“
“Easy there, lass,” mohawk man grins at you, as does pretty man. You can’t tell what exoression their fourth might have on his face. Your flemish giant begins cleaning her face, unbothered. “They dinnae hurt noone… though maybe just yer lungs.”
As you gather your breath, still cradling your wayward bunnies, you glance up at the group of men and realize you haven’t even introduced yourself yet. Great. Chasing rabbits down the street and forgetting your manners? You’re on a roll today.
“I’m—uh, I’m sorry, where are my manners? I’m [Name].” You gesture awkwardly toward your bunnies, still snuggled up in their rescuers’ arms. “And these are… my little troublemakers.”
The man with the boonie hat offers you a warm grin, extending his hand. “John Price. Looks like we’re neighbors now, love.”
You take his hand, appreciating the solid, firm shake and give him a smile. “Nice to meet you, John. And thanks again.”
The man with the mask remains silent but inclines his head, giving the tiniest of nods. He’s still holding your mini-lop, who’s completely unbothered, nosing at his mask like it’s a toy. “Simon.” he says in a low, gravelly voice.
His voice sends a tiny shiver down your spine. There’s something about his calm presence, even with your rebellious bunny in his grasp, that feels oddly reassuring. If anything, seeing your bunny si relaxed makes you far more willing to trust him. “Thanks, Simon. I appreciate it.”
The man with the mohawk steps forward, his grin as cheeky as ever. “Johnny MacTavish.” His Scottish accent rolls smoothly, and you can’t help but smile back. “Looks like yer big girl here likes me, huh?” He scratches behind your flemish giant’s ear, who responds by nudging into his hand.
You laugh. “Yeah, she’s usually shy, but I guess you’ve won her over.”
The last man, who had been standing back slightly, steps forward, still gently cradling one of your holland lops in his arms. “Kyle Garrick.” he says softly, his eyes flicking between you and the bunny. “They’re cute little things, aren’t they?”
You nod, heart warming a little. “Yeah, they are. And… a handful.”
For a brief moment, there’s a quiet, comfortable silence. You close your eyes and take in a deep, calming breath, not noticing the way all of them seem oddly focused on you—not in a bad way, but more like they’re genuinely interested.
“How do you take them back then?” John asks at last, breaking the silence. He’s almost absent-mindedly patting your bunny’s head.
“Well, I usually try to coax them with treats,” you say, opening your eyes to glance down at your bunnies. “but it seems like they’ve chosen chaos today, so no treats for them. I’ll just herd them back.” You shoot the bunnies a mock glare, earning a soft chuckle from Price.
“Seems like they’ve got a bit of personality,” Simon comments, his voice low. “Must’ve gotten that from you, yeah?”
You blink, caught off guard by his subtle tease. Was that a compliment? From him? You laugh softly, your cheeks warming under his intense gaze. “Well, they’re stubborn, that’s for sure.”
Kyle, steps forward and holds the bunny out to you. “Here, love. Looks like he’s had his fun. Don’t worry, no harm done.”
You take the bunny from him, your fingers brushing his as you do. “Thanks,” you murmur, feeling a bit flustered by the warmth of his touch. “I was about ten seconds away from having a meltdown.”
Johnny leans forward, his grin widening even as he hands over your flemish giant. One by one, you get back all your bunnies. “Aye, ye seemed like ye were in a bit of a panic. But nae need to be embarrassed, lass. We’ve all got our little burdens.”
Your eyes dart to his, catching a mischievous twinkle there. He’s definitely enjoying this a little too much.
You sigh dramatically, still cradling your mischievous bunnies. You set them down, and like the most obedient angels ever, they just hop and wait around your feet. “They’re more than burdens, they’re the bane of my existence sometimes. But I love them.”
Price chuckles, arms crossed over his broad chest. “It’s good you care about them that much. Not everyone would go to such lengths for their pets.”
You smile sheepishly. “Yeah, well… they’re my kids, basically. Little fluffy nightmares, but I love them.” You glance up at the group, unable to hide your appreciation for their help. “I seriously owe you guys. Maybe a drink sometime? Or dinner? As a proper thank you and welcome, of course.”
Simon shifts slightly, eyes still on you, though his face remains unreadable behind the mask. Johnny shoots him a look, then turns back to you with a grin. “Would nae wanna bother ye, lass-“
You blink, quickly shaking your head. “Oh, no, it won’t be a bother at all! I mean, it’s the least I can do after… all of this.” You gesture vaguely at the situation. Your mini-lop flops down near Simon, likely expecting pats.
Johnny’s grin deepens, and he exchanges a look with Price. “We’ll hold ye to that, lass. What day works for ye?”
You laugh nervously, cheeks still warm. “I’ll… I’ll figure something out and let you know.”
Kyle gives you a soft, reassuring smile. “We’ll be looking forward to it. And don’t worry, we’ll keep an eye out for any runaway bunnies in the meantime.”
As the men begin to head back to their place, Johnny calls out over his shoulder, “Remember- dinner, lass! No backing out!”
You roll your eyes with a playful smile but can’t help feeling flustered as you watch them go, and then laugh a little when Simon smacks the back of Johnny’s head, your heart beating a little faster. When they’re out of sight, you glance down at your bunnies.
“Thanks for the assist, you little terrors,” you mutter, shaking your head. “Now I owe them dinner. Perfect.”
╰── ⋅ ⋅ ── ✩ ── ⋅ ⋅ ──╯
Part 2
Masterpost + interactions, comments, reblogs and everything in between is very much encouraged 🫶🏻
#cod x reader#cod#cod x you#tf 141 x reader#tf 141#tf 141 x you#john price x reader#poly!141 x reader#soap x reader#cod imagines#poly 141#simon riley x reader#simon riley x you#kyle gaz x reader#kyle gaz garrick#gaz x reader#gaz x you#they r ur bunnies biggest fans btw#and vice versa ur bunnies love them#call of duty x reader#call of duty#ghost x reader#ghost x you#noona.writes
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
Couples Shit with Simon Riley, Part 2:
Thinking Simon is asleep when he isn't. Or so he says. Case in point: Simon in all his cattiness made you his pillow. Your nails were working miracles scratching along his scalp which had him dozing off and lightly snoring. Or so you thought. You heard him grumble, "Why'd you stop, luvie?" when you moved your hand. He'll deny he was asleep, too, like the peepaw that he is.
To piggyback off the first point, Simon will sometimes quietly grab your hand and put it back on his head if you stop scratching his scalp. If you stop a second time, he will have experienced a betrayal man and cat were never supposed to know, and it's Affection Denied™ for the rest of the day lmao.
Texting each other when you're in two separate rooms because you don't feel like talking out loud. Sometimes, you'll text him some crazy shit that'll warrant him leaving the room he was in to silently judge you.
Absolutely loving to watch him shave in the morning because Simon is so sexy when he's concentrating, eyebrows furrowed, and those brown eyes staring intensely in the mirror.
You and Simon shit-talking each other in bed because you'll complain about being hot with the covers and cuddle pile you two have going on but never really doing anything to change it. You two actually can't get a good night's sleep without being up under the other.
Simon banning you from watching horror films because, for the hundredth bloody time, he didn't hear shit, love. He actually did and it was the neighbors but he can't be arsed to get out of bed.
Speaking of neighbors, it's you and Simon lying in bed, listening to the neighbors make sex and when it's done, Simon goes, "Mm. A new record," and he sounds so unimpressed which causes you to guffaw. Oh my fucking god—
Getting in the dog house with Simon because when your hands are cold, you stick them down in his pants to rest on his thighs because it's hilarious to see him jump and that's what he gets for not turning the heat up. Simon counterargues that he did turn it up. Three degrees.
Introducing Simon to the wonders of Spa Day at home because his skin needs some TLC. Simon looking like someone's stressed auntie with a ciggie dangling from his lips, wearing a really comfortable bathrobe you got him, and eye masks on.
You two treating it like the end of the world whenever one of y'all gets sick (Simon to a lesser extent) because how in the hell will you get your daily dose of affection?
Going all out and having a whole-ass reveal party for your newest edition to the family, Pup. You gave the boys shirts to wear in celebration. You wore Dad, Simon wore... Mom????, Kyle got Uncle, Soap got... Big Brother??? and Price got... Grandfather. Grand. Father. "Congrats, Cap'n." "Shut up."
Pranking Simon by calling him some random guy's name just to see his reaction. Simon stops what he's doing, judges you in Ghost, and goes, "Who the fuck is Anthony?" After that, it's on sight for Anthony. Whoever the fuck that is. Simon gets you back, though, and he's all, "Ask Anthony" "Oh? You love Anthony, too?" "Sorry sweetheart, Simon is taken. Better go to Anthony." Real funny, asshole.
Simon thinking you're about to go down on him. Not the way he thinks, though. You've situated yourself between his thighs, put his legs on your shoulders, and lower your head to... blow raspberries in his tummy. Like... whole-ass tunes. The disappointment on his face is immeasurable. But then you have him chuckling because you're fuckin' adorable looking up at him like that and your raspberries are ticklish.
#2queued4u.#call of duty#call of duty modern warfare#call of duty modern lovefare.#simon ghost riley#ghost call of duty#simon riley x you#simon ghost riley x reader#simon ghost riley x you#simon riley x reader#cod x reader#cod x you#call of duty x reader#call of duty x you#x plus size reader#x poc reader#x black reader#task force 141
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
The Gang React to You Ignoring Them
Lucifer
"How childish. They'll have forgotten by the end of the day."
By the end of the day, however, Lucifer has reached his fucking limit. But his pride will not only prevent him from begging you to knock it off-- it will prevent him from even acknowledging in your presence that he is remotely bothered.
He probably goes to vent to Diavolo -- that is to say, visit him for tea and offhandedly comment about your immaturity for pulling such a stunt, knowing that he'll just contact you and beg for him.
Mammon
"Oh no you don't! MC! MC! MC! MC! MC! Hey! MC! MC! Hey! MC!"
He will follow you wherever you go. At first he thinks he's hilarious, being an absolute pain in the ass, but the longer it goes on, the more dejected he gets. His energy level tanks and soon he's just lying on top of the nearest piece of furniture and whining for you to stop it.
If you manage to get him off of you long enough to escape him, he will just text you.
Mammon: MC Mammon: MC Mammon: Hey MC Mammon: Hey Mammon: MC
If you block him, he will just text someone else until that person becomes so annoyed that THEY beg you to stop.
When you finally give in, he pretends like he didn't even care that much. It was just a little joke between pals, right? Haha!
Leviathan
"So this is how easy it is for you to just toss me aside like a piece of garbage."
Levi will take this extremely personally. Depending on why you're ignoring him, he might blame himself and enter a spiral of self-hate. He'll hole up in his room, refusing to leave until you finally come in and either apologize or forgive him, whichever is appropriate.
He'll spend a few moody minutes acting like it's too late for that, but soon he'll be on the verge of tears, making you to swear on a copy of The Tale of the Seven Lords that you will never pull that kind of thing again.
Satan
"Really? Is this what it's come to? You understand how pathetic this makes you look, don't you?"
Like Lucifer, he won't be too bothered at first, assuming you'll get over things relatively soon. But if nothing has changed within an hour or two, he'll start to get testy. He'll send a text, sit in the same room as you and stare a hole through your head, and if you're still ignoring him after a while of that, he'll storm up to his room.
Depending on how emotionally charged the incident was that led to you ignoring him, he will be more or less capable of fending off an explosion of temper. Most likely, any acknowledgement you toss his way will ease the tension, so it might be a good idea to just shoot him a text asking him not to destroy the house, please.
Asmodeus
"But it's impossible to ignore me! You can't look away from a face like mine! See?"
I don't think you can ignore Asmo. Being the literal Avatar of Lust with powers to charm and an intense need to be admired and adored, he simply exudes an aura that demands attention. You should probably come up with a different strategy of attack.
Beelzebub
"...Are you mad at me?"
Why would you do that to him? How could you be so cruel?
If you did do it, it would probably confuse and sadden him. Confusion and sorrow both make him feel hungry, so he will go ahead and start eating his feelings within an hour of the silent treatment. Even if you're content to allow this to continue, the other six demons in the house aren't, and you will ultimately have no choice but to make up with Beel.
Belphegor
belphie.exe has stopped responding
Considering you'd already forgiven him for the whole murder thing, he can't comprehend how you've become so mad at him that you'd go so far as to give him the cold shoulder. He won't know how to respond at first, but he will quickly become an angry, sulky ball curled up under the blankets on his bed. If it takes more than a few hours for you to come crawling back to him, things will start to change. Belphie will return to the common areas of the house, acting mostly the same as usual, and he will not spare you a second glance. Even if you stop ignoring him, well, two can play this game, and Belphie is absolutely petty enough to drag this one out.
After a day or two of you trying to talk to him, he'll relent. He'll feel kind of guilty, having worked through most of his anger while ignoring you. He'll probably text you a lot for the next day or two, just to ease some of his anxieties.
Diavolo
"I don't understand."
You can't do that. That's illegal. Next character.
Barbatos
"Hehe. What a troublemaker."
Barbatos likes it when you ignore him sometimes.
Barbatos will not change his behavior at all, ever. You could spend the rest of your life ignoring him, and he would simply accept it as one of those unfortunate circumstances life sometimes throws his way. He would prefer it if things didn't go down that way, though. Basically, he'll let you come to him whenever you've gotten over whatever it is you're upset about. What a king.
Solomon
"Hmm? Are you sure that's a good idea?"
Solomon will act pretty much the same as usual around you too. He'll point out that you're ignoring him to whoever else happens to be around and bemoan the situation, but he won't actively appeal to you. Instead, he'll orchestrate a scenario that traps you in a situation where he is the only person you can go to for help. As soon as you do that, he'll act as if nothing ever happened. If you resume the silent treatment, well, he can always come up with another scenario.
Are you still sure it's a good idea?
Simeon
"I didn't realize you were so upset. I'm sorry (that/if) I hurt you."
Simeon will either immediately understand why you are doing this, in which case he will apologize (using "that") or he will have absolutely no idea what's going on, and he'll still apologize (using "if") to be on the safe side.
If you don't show any signs of breaking, he'll enlist Luke's help to make you an apology dessert of some sort. And how can you stay mad at him when he's offering you angel food cake with such a sad expression?
Luke
😧😠😣🥺😢
Wh- Whaaa...?! How dare you ignore him! That's so mean! It must be all the demonic influences rubbing off on you! Stop it! Stop it or he's going to tell Simeon!
And then he'll go and tell Simeon. Simeon will probably tell him to just wait until you've calmed down. If he thinks you're being unreasonable, though, he'll probably have a talk with you himself. Really? Pulling the silent treatment on an actual child? Sure, he's a millennium old, but he's still a child.
#obey me#obey me hcs#obey me headcanons#obey me lucifer#obey me mammon#obey me leviathan#obey me satan#obey me asmodeus#obey me beel#obey me belphegor#obey me beelzebub#obey me barbatos#obey me simeon#obey me solomon#obey me x reader#nobody asked for this i just did it#you can't stop me#obey me luke#lucifer#mammon#levi#satan#asmo#beel#belphie#diavolo#barbatos#solomon#simeon#dthc
3K notes
·
View notes