#oh their anger is justified and wow theyre really in a situation where the people theyre near are all out to get them | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

inmirova · 1 year

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it took me a long time to accept anger as an emotion I'm allowed to feel without being a bad person bc I associated anger with the abusive people in my life. like obviously my friends and other people could get angry occasionally and I would be like of course they're only human and tbh usually they're justified imo but if I got angry my brain was like no you're no better than your abusers. but then I was with my ex who was constantly angry and I was like see this person can be angry without being abusive. you are allowed to be angry. and then once we closed the distance and i was there for them to be angry at instead of other people it turned out they were abusive. so once again other people are allowed to remain good people in spite of getting angry but I am a bad person if I get angry. my brain works so good and I am soooo well adjusted ! when I lost access to all psych meds that was a good and smart thing to happen ! #affirmations or whatever

#tbc it wasnt them being angry in my vicinity that i saw as abusive it was like actual acts of abuse and manipulation brought on by it #that hadnt presented overtly until we were living together instead of spending maybe a couple weeks at a time together #like now i see the patterns and red flags from earlier in the relationship but at the time i was like #oh their anger is justified and wow theyre really in a situation where the people theyre near are all out to get them #which. in retrospect is itself a red flag yknow. but i digress!#i got annoyed for a second that my manager makes us actually call into work like over the phone if we're sick bc im deaf so like. fuck that #and im really not about to hop on the video phone in a cold sweat coughing every two fucking seconds #and then i was like oh no im a piece of shit for being annoyed by this! cue doom spiral #um actually im right to be annoyed about it bc if it happened to anyone else i would advocate for them #and it isnt different just because its me #except it is 🤪#anyway this is all brought to you by the feelings wheel i religiously studied from 2019-2021. thanks for giving me emotions. fuck you. etc

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