#oh that's heretic
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
sorry
#phighting#phighting!#phighting art#phighting fanart#phighting medkit#phighting broker#phighting katana#phighting scythe#phighting heretic#wee oo i look just like scythey rifle#oh oh and you’re kaaaa taaa naa#phighting lost temple
249 notes
·
View notes
Text
MR. REED || HERETIC (2024)
#AHHH OH NO I NEED HIM OH FUCK!!! OH FUCK!!!!!#new F/O methinks.. i want that old man#my gifs#heretic#hugh grant#mr reed#heretic 2024#horror#f/o
78 notes
·
View notes
Text
tavs/durges + classes and subclasses
#bg3edit#gamingedit#baldur's gate 3#bg3#tavedit#durgeedit#tav bg3#durge bg3#edits#oh this took forever#and i hate some of them so much#but i didn't have much room to experiment since i had to make so many gifs#i just wanted them all in the same place for once ♥#beloved kiddos#now i have to tag them all sorry in advance#nimue of eldervine grove#kato of the athelia circle#xenia silvertongue#varian the heretic#killian of sunrise spire#seina the unmovable#grisam of the two rivers#mihail of the water temple#zander the bloodless#amara charys#lys’ail ir’revrykal#martim valor#damyr the tame#ciaran thornfinger#velia caerlight
156 notes
·
View notes
Text
"And especially I received a lot of messages from my old rivals, that are the best because Stoner sent me a message, and Biaggi, Lorenzo, Dovi also. It was great. I was very happy."
(x) on the valentino retirement messages discussion, #noticing how casey sending him a message gets elevated ahead of the others. thinking
#THE BEST BECAUSE STONER SENT ME A MESSAGE and also those other guys#he conceptually vibes sooooooo much with the idea of rivalries and casey is theeeeeeee opponent to challenge him....#casey carefully painstakingly crafting his message and making sure the words are JUST on the right side of loaded#and valentino sees it and goes :)) oh that's nice :)) yay#//#heretic tag#brr brr
29 notes
·
View notes
Text
Heretical Phobos Covos
"2 Level 4 monsters You can target 1 Effect Monster your opponent controls; negate its effects, then if it battled this turn, you can take control of it until the End Phase. This is a Quick Effect if this card has an Illusion monster as material. You can only use this effect of 'Heretical Phobos Covos' once per turn. If this card battles a monster, neither can be destroyed by that battle."
22 notes
·
View notes
Text
completely normal slugcat/spidercat hybrid for funguary's destroying angel prompt hehehe :)
This is the Heretic (aka Platinum Hills; she/her pronouns). She's alive in Saint's era and was actually one of their followers before they ascended. However, after Saint's ascension, Platinum Hills descended down a dark path and became the Heretic...
For design stuff. uhhh there's a lot going on here. First, her story/themes are based on both artificer and saint (technically a fusion oc? i guess?). She also died - a lot - and lineaged, gaining some strawberry lizard traits (matching angel/devil themes with the frills and horns ehheehehe). As for the scars? Don't worry. They're totally normal! Nothing's wrong with them! Nothing echoey at all!
#raintailed's art#funguary#funguary2024#rain world#rw#rain world oc#my ocs#reference#tw body horror#“platinum hills” references snow-covered buildings and stuff#which do look like hills from a distance#with all the snow and stuff#OH lineaging explanation!!#basically if a creature dies enough times they might mutate#it's super rare but the chances increase slightly if they have messed up karma#platinum hills / the heretic (oc)
65 notes
·
View notes
Note
Your ghost vault propaganda inspired me to watch the first season in dominion and. I think Legundo irl left that vault and had a panic attack. His shivers were timbered. Viking was unhinged to exactly one person and it PAYED OFF. God damn.
NO FOR REAL ITS SUCH AN EXPERIENCE. like it's a known fact that The Voice(tm) does in fact actually scare Legundo IRL and Viking just. he's so GOOD at turning it on and off at unstable intervals
i think a lot about that scene though actually, because piglin 'Gundo is a fascinating character in his own right and is not a fully morally upstanding guy, and something i think is interesting is like. the entire time he's freaked the hell out and this doesn't exactly go away later in the scene, but i feel like you can see something just click in Legundo when Viking hands him that IOU back and it's so. gods. he goes from totally out of his depth to a lot more calm and almost a little dismissive once that IOU is back in his hands and Viking no longer has that total leverage. it's nothing short of fascinating.
just. in general. that's such a good scene. all the Ghost's Vault scenes are golden, and S2 of Dominion has some utter bangers if you're the type to backwatch VODs.
all this is to say! glad you enjoyed! :DDD
#it is maybe heretical of me to say this but the initial IOU reveal is actually my fave unhinged viking scene#just because it comes so out of LEFT FIELD and you can see it absolutely BLINDSIDE legundo as he realizes viking is Unstable#and like. from viking’s pov his descent into insanity makes total sense. he spent the past 3 episodes Dealing With Taneesha#but for Legundo it really is this sudden gut drop of ''oh god. what have i gotten myself into.'' and it OWNS#i think character wise pigundo must be HYPERaware of the fact that viking watched the other dominioners before becoming physical#in a way where suddenly with viking being Unsafe he remembers everything viking could know about him#god. its so FUCKING good.#something something to quote pigundo talking about viking:#''when he laughs like that do you get the feeling that hes going to murder(*) us all?''#''(*)protect'' in vikings subtitles. gahhhhhh#yt#ask#orig#anonymous#dominioners#dominion smp
18 notes
·
View notes
Text
temporary buddies
#ffxiv#ffxiv wol#geese art#ffxiv estinien#ocs#oc: kiriltugh#okay their whole deal. they don’t get along rn. like at all#me the player? i love estinien#kiril cannot fucking stand him and vice versa#they just no notttt like each other#when estinien is calling u a friend when ur about to. hm#heavensward spoilers#about tk fight nidhogg#i read that as him being like super passive aggressive LOL#bc kiril has background w the heretics#the entire time they were traveling together kiril would just kinda grumble abt estinien being wrong abt everything#until obv they eventually found out. uh oh kiril has also been wrong about everything#and estinien was like HAH. vindication. now u see.#n like this whole time estinien’s been like you’re wasting your strength when u could be using it for the fucking city thays protecting you#asshole.#so when kiril has no choice but to fight for ishgard w no like. alternative reason#estinien’s like yeah BUDDY. come and fight with someone who’s RIGHT#PAL.#DOES ANY OF THIS MAKE SENSE.#SORRY I GRADUATED TODAY. YOU ONOW HOW IT IS.#i���ll elaborate tomorrow if anyone’s interested. whatever#i realize i have to elaborate on my ocs if i want people to be interested in them#vicious cycle
28 notes
·
View notes
Text
This card reminds me of Thief King Bakura.
79 notes
·
View notes
Text
holy shit. wicked is booked out at every showtime at my theater through fucking sunday. i figured it would boom over thanksgiving weekend but good LORD
#man.. i still wanna see a real pain#ive accepted im probably gonna miss heretic like i missed smile 2 but it's been a hectic november tbf so#i figured i might#oh well. it'll hit streaming and dvd/bluray eventually#both of them
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
Pspspspsps Sophie Thatcher in Heretic
#oh I'm so ready for this movie#sophie thatcher#sophie t#soapy t#soapy thatcher#heretic#a24#a24 films#a24 movies#a24 horror#yellowjackets cast#horror movies
14 notes
·
View notes
Text
its been like. nearly a year (How.) already but i cannot lie theres Still a part in the back of my brain occupied with and being thoroughly entertained by the way that childes confirmed 4.0 complete self-awareness over waking up the narwhal at 14 recontextualizes some key liyue things leading to some very funny self indulgent scenarios in my head
like yes chili is old news its basic please excuse me for predictable popular ship crimes (do NOT however associate me w the crimes of fanon against their actual range. theyre peak to Me) but i just keep replaying the imagery of zhongli and childe back on their homoerotic Professional Working Relationship bullshit where their flirting passed the jkjk unless treshold of even remotely plausible deniability like 8 exorbitantly priced business dinners ago and theyre just like. doing that whole song and dance now neither committing to a move except zhonglis presently feeling moderately conflicted (but nonetheless fairly unfazed at) by the prospects of actually developing some sort of a thing for the harbinger hes supposed to puppet master into executing the major story climax of his 67-step retirement plan bc he turned out to be quite the strangely charming ginger specimen (to His weird fucking 6000 year old tastes at least. they deserve each other) with some fascinating life ambitions he cant help but be enraptured by.
but because hes still 100% Locked In on his entire plan zhonglis also just . simultaneously dual wielding his coy-ass "i like you and am taking it slow to Savor this developing relationship (Also bc of the Geo Archon Shaped Elephant In The Room) except am old as shit so my languid sense of time inadvertedly Automatically turns my behavior into an equivalent of the dark souls boss of playing hard2get" act (cue "waddup im ajax 24 and im in fucking agony with this hot funeral consultant". Yes they live like this) AND also meticulously theorycrafting like 12 moves in advance for his 6d chess play of leaving the most subtly crafted trail of breadcrumbs behind for the tsaritsas 11th to follow into the intended & completely "Coincidental" idea of unleashing the one particular sealed sea deity that zhongli Specifically wants momentarily released for his sweet 6k retirement party and graduation test for the nation hes helicopter parented for 3.7k years .
like. this is zhongli we r talking about the guy Absolutely has it planned out down to a fucking art like he has an entire branching path dialogue tree planned and memorized like its a visual novel for every possible way he can conveniently namedrop osial in a non-suspect way and also that he just happens to be sealed right over there across the harbor (what a coincidence!) and also to slip in the intel about the latent power of the sigil of permission etc etc. like zhonglis just out there doing all this massive galaxy brain computational work simultaneously while infodumping on an academic level about whichever subject childes latest random comment of amicable small talk happened to remind him of because in his helicopter parent in remission mind its Absolutely Critical that the idea about releasing osial occurs Completely organically in childes mind it Has to he Cannot risk revealing anything . (hes in remission not in recovery guys.) so like here we are. he requested notes from the tsaritsa Personally on the character of her 11th just to ensure every move was painstakingly crafted to draw him Specifically to the intended conclusion without risking revealing his true identity .
except. the thing . neither he. nor the tsaritsa . would have been informed of . is that this simply isnt childes first fucking rodeo waking up an eldritch city sized sea creature . and he is very well aware of this fact . he woke that beautiful wonderful beloved huge fucking narwhal up by himself had his brain chemistry Immediately and Irrevocably rewired as a direct consequence do you fucking think hes somehow stopped thinking about that singular moment for even a second since then???
yeah . thought so.
so what actually ends up happening in reality is theyll be on another definitely-serious-business-not-just-a-date and zhonglis going to get down to like dialogue selection part 10 of the 86 step conversation tree at Most where hes only beginning to like Vaguely allude to the key pieces of information involved but it turns out Because Hes That Guy (TM) And Has Been There Done That Before childes basic pattern recognition and sense of irony simply proceed to kick in Way ahead of time and hes Immediately perking up like Hey wouldnt it be really fucking funny if i wake up an eldritch sea beast Again . like just in case. as a last ditch effort .
and zhonglis just sitting there seeing the gears turn in his head as they enjoy their cringe fucking picnic (bc they just stare at each other intently like that nowadays its a thing. being in a room with them by this point is essentially a human rights violation) and is just completely fucking flabbergasted and lost on how in the hell childes speedran his way to that conclusion at what amounts to barely a 13% completion rate in his whole overkill fucking plan (just 1 of 3 contingencies btw) and its like yes he has his intended outcome but also precisely 0 idea on how the fuck said outcome was reached the way it was this fast . like hes still winning its His plan thats well underway and ahead of schedule but How
(pov: ur selling the concept of waking up destructive sea creatures to the guy who woke up a celestial body eating cosmic whale at 14)
anyway its truly beautiful i absolutely detest these two and have prime liyue AQ hijinks nostalgia now thank you for the lore drop that allowed this to become canon in my head hoyo
#im sorry for completely out of nowhere ship posting dude idk where this came from . i had to get it off my chest ig . runs away#chili my dearest i miss em . theyre the most normal business partners to lovers dynamic to me NO drama whatsoever they just#happen to be insane fucking people and thats why it ends up weird . but relationship wise. bland as SHIT they just get along well#drama?? betrayal?? angst?? NO. 1 spar and childe forgives instantly we all know this to be true#theyre so fucking basic as a couple bc both of them being as weird as they are just ends up canceling out#bc neither is unnerved by the insane shit the other comes with . and they just like. date normally . and make a semi-open committed ldr wor#they simply civilly agree not to bring up the uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Religious differences .#6k yo highly suspect god known for signing NDA with celestia dating guy intent on torching the fucking place personally like .#'we make it work despite our differences 😌'#and the known self-admitted heretic if it gives him power looking to conquer the world just#'oh no need to Rush the agenda after all im still busy getting stronger 😊 in time watch tf out tho <333 youre so sexy aha'#dont listen to bland tropey fanon guysss listen to me they could be so fucking peak. they Are to me#altho childe pairings are so weird to me now being a true narwhal truther. theyre all basically a love triangle to me now LKWDJKWDKJWDKJ#like listen. they could be in love they could be the same entity they could be opposites. nemeses. platonic soulmates. romantic rivals. idc#BUT whatever the fuck they are i want them together please thank uuuuuuuu so like. added hysteria factor to any other ship w ajax .#hes still fucking cheating on his narwhalllll on all levels. romantic. platonic. cosmic. unphased by any attempts at defining their bond#with mere words. what are they??? no clue. still cheating. no i dont explain my poetry often. theyre simply everything to me xx#how do i even fucking tag this man its not rly childeposting worthy is it....#and im not abt to risk breaching containment in the chili tag.........................#guess its just#genshin#rambles#lmaooo wjkdwkjwjkdjkdw
13 notes
·
View notes
Text
i know i've only spoken about it once or twice but i've been munching on the idea of a cornley daemon au the entire time since then and i'm just trying to get everyone's backstories sorted out while also trying to examine just how exactly their lives would have changed in a world where people can see the visual representation of your soul and it's making me go a little bit insane ngl
#heretical texts#cornley daemon au#ooohhh just wait til i get to talk about chris oh my god#certain headcanon promoters in the goes wrong tag have been doing numbers in my neural pathways
3 notes
·
View notes
Note
new casey podcast have you seen it
https://m.youtube.com/watch?si=ye8wNfrvaPDjtpDV&v=IuwZN6aP8sg&feature=youtu.be
(link to the podcast) yeah I did, cheers!
there's not that much 'new information' per se within this podcast, though there's a bunch of nice tidbits about teenage casey. what stood out to me is how the framing of his journey to becoming a racer is... well, it's kinda new? it's not exactly surprising, because you could get a lot of this stuff from reading between the lines in his autobiography. the question of 'is this your dream or your parents' dream' is a very common one with athletes, and it's often a thin line... but, y'know, this podcast interview in particular is quite a noticeable shift in how casey himself talks about this issue. it's a shift in how he portrays his 'dream' of becoming a professional rider back when he was formulating his autobiography, versus how he's answering questions in this episode. his autobiography isn't free from criticism of his parents - but casey is always stressing his own desire to race. so you do get stuff like this (from the autobiography):
At this point things were getting serious. Dad used to say, 'If you want to become World Champion you can't be that much better than local competition,' holding his finger and thumb an inch apart. 'You have to be this much better,' he'd say, holding his arms wide open. Dad confirms this feeling still today: 'I know it's a harsh way to look at things but that's the difference between a champion and the rest. Just look at the careers of Dani Pedrosa and Jorge Lorenzo. Dani had Alberto Puig and Jorge had his old man, both of them hard as nails. If you want to make it to the top I think it takes somebody with an unforgiving view on life to help get you there. So I said those things to Casey, particularly when we went to the UK, because to keep moving up a level he couldn't just be happy with winning a race. If he wasn't winning by a margin that represented his maximum performance then he wasn't showing people how much better he was than the rest.' There's no denying that Dani, Jorge and I became successful with that kind of upbringing and sometimes you probably do need it. As far as I'm concerned Alberto was nowhere near as tough on Dani as my dad was on me or Jorge's dad was on him. That kind of intensity and expectation puts a lot of extra pressure on a father-son relationship that isn't always healthy. We definitely had our moments and there were a few major blow-ups to come. But at the time, rightly or wrongly, it was proving to be a good system for us and I was eager to continue impressing my dad and others with my performances on the track.
(quick reminder, jorge's review of his father's style of parenting was describing him as "a kind of hitler")
but in general the emphasis is very much on how much casey enjoyed racing, on how single-minded casey was when it came to racing. he might have been isolated by his racing (again this is from the autobiography, in the context of discussing being bullied by kids in school until he got 'protection' from his dirt track friends):
School life was a whole lot better after that but I still hated it. All my real friends were from dirt-track; they were the only people I had anything in common with.
and he's talked about how other parents misinterpreted his shyness as him not actually wanting to race, which meant they were judging casey's parents as a result (autobiography):
Mum tells me that the other parents thought she and Dad were awful because I cried as I lined up on the start line. She remembers: 'I was putting his gloves on his hands and pushing his helmet over his head. The thing was, I knew Casey wasn't crying because he didn't want to ride or because he was scared. He just didn't like the attention of being stared at by all these people!'
but like. overall racing for him was still something he portrayed as a very positive aspect of his childhood. something he always clung onto, something that was his choice to pursue
so... let's play compare and contrast with some specific passages of the autobiography and this podcast, you decide for yourself. take this from his autobiography:
After I started winning more times than not, and it was obvious my passion for bikes wasn't wavering, Mum and Dad decided that seeking out sponsors could be a great idea to help offset some of the costs of travelling to meets and keeping the bikes in good order.
and here, in a longer excerpt about what a sickly child casey was, what his mother said (autobiography):
'They tested him for cystic fibrosis and he was on all kinds of medication; you name it, he was on it. But Casey still raced, we couldn't stop him.' I know I was sick but Mum was right, I wasn't going to let that stop me.
versus this from the podcast, when he's responding to a completely open question about how he got into riding:
To be honest, I don't know if I was allowed to have any other attraction to be honest. I think it was, you know, you're going to be a bike rider from when I was a very very young age - and I'm not the only one to think that. I think my parents have stated that enough times to certain people and you know I was sort of pushed in that direction. My elder sister who's six and a half years older than me, she actually raced a little bit of dirt bikes and dirt track before I was born and when I was very young, so it was sort of a natural progression to go and do a little bit more of that and I think because at the time road racing was a lot more similar to dirt track. That was our sort of way in.
this was one of the very first questions in the interview, it basically just consisted of asking casey how he got into biking in the first place - whether it had come through his family or whatever. casey chose to take the response in that direction... it's not an answer that is just about his own internal passion, how he loved riding the second he touched a bike, how he loved it throughout his childhood etc etc (which is how it's framed in the autobiography) - but instead he says he wasn't allowed to do anything else. he says that he was pushed in that direction, that his parents have openly said as much to others. that he feels vindicated in the belief he was never given another choice
let's play another round. here from the autobiography:
Mum and Dad used to stand at the side for hours on end watching me practise at different tracks. They'd sometimes clock laps with a stopwatch as I went round and round. Other parents couldn't see the point in taking it so seriously but they didn't realise it was what I wanted. I was having fun. Working out how to go faster was how I got my kicks and I couldn't stop until I had taken a tenth or two of a second off my best time on any day. If another kid came out onto the track with me I would be all over them, practising passing them in different ways and in different corners, but most of the time they avoided riding with me and I would be out there on my own, racing the clock.
and this (autobiography):
I enjoyed racing so much that even when I was at home riding on my own I would set up different track configurations to challenge myself. I'd find myself a rock here, a tree there, a gatepost over there and maybe move a branch and that would be my track.
versus here, in the podcast:
Q: And did you realise at the time that you were - not groomed, is not the word but well you were being groomed to be a professional motorcycle racer, or obviously that was your only one reference point, that was the norm. Did that just feel the norm or did you think actually this feels a bit intense or how did you feel about it? A: I think it's hard, it's not until I sort of reached my mid teens where I started to have a bit of a reality check on what I was actually doing. Before then, you know I was competitive. I'm not as competitive as people think, I'm a lot more competitive internally rather than externally versus other people. I always challenge myself to things, so all those younger years was just getting the job done that I was expected to do. I enjoyed winning, I loved it, but you know I enjoyed perfect laps, perfect races, as close as I could get to that and you know from a young age I always sort of challenged myself constantly to be better. So I didn't just win races, I tried to win them - you know, if I won races by five seconds in a [...] race I'd try and win, you know I'd try and get to double that by the end of the day if I could. So you know that always kept me sharp and it stopped me from being sort of, you know, complacent in the position I was at. And it wasn't until sort of you know 16, 17, 18 that reality kicked in. I'd had a couple years road racing in the UK and Spain, been rather successful and then you get to world championships and you know maybe an engineer that was sort of - didn't have your best interests at hear. And, you know, I nearly finished my career right there after my first year of world championships just because of the reality of how hard it was in comparison to everything else I'd experienced up to that point. And, you know, it was a real reality check for me and I think it was then that I started to - you know consider everything around me and consider how and why I got to the position that I was in and that's when the mind started to change a little bit and realise that you know I really was being groomed my whole life just to sort of be here and be put on a track and try and win. And, you know, that was my seemingly most of my existence.
in all the excerpts, he stresses how much he enjoys his perfect laps, how much he enjoys riding, how there is genuine passion there, how dedicated he is to this pursuit... but then in the podcast, he's adding something else - how he'd been groomed his whole life into that role of 'professional bike racer'. that it was only in his late teens (when he was in 125cc/250cc) where he had this moment of 'man I never really had a choice in all this'
and another round. here's him talking in the autobiography about how all the money he got through racing went back into racing - but it was fine because it was the only thing he cared about anyway:
I don't remember seeing any of the money I earned because it all went back into my racing, although I guess at the time that's all I really cared about anyway. I didn't know anything else. Mum and Dad always said to me: 'If you put in the effort, we'll put in the effort.'
and here in the autobiography on how he just wanted to ride all day:
I couldn't ride my bike all day, though, as much as I would have liked to.
and him talking in the autobiography about his parents encouraging him and his sister to 'chase their dreams':
Mum and Dad encouraged both Kelly and me to follow our passions and work hard to chase our dreams. That might sound strange when you are talking about a seven-year-old but I don't think you are never too young to know that if you want something you have to earn it.
versus this in the podcast:
Q: And I've never asked you this before, but did you want to? A: Um... I think I'd been convinced of a dream I suppose. You know, yes I loved riding bikes and you know I really did enjoy racing... but there was lots of other things that I - I really enjoyed as well but just never had the opportunity or never was allowed to do anything else, so... You know, motorbikes for our budget everything fortunately dirt track was probably the cheapest way that you could go motorbike racing. You could survive on very very little in dirt track and show your potential in other ways. You know, yes, having good bikes and good tyres and all that sort of thing made a difference but it wasn't the be all end all, you could always make a difference in other ways, so... I think it was, you know - the best thing we could have done, racing through that. Like I said I enjoyed it, it wasn't until late teens, early 20s where I sort of was like, I don't know if I would have been a bike racer had I actually had a choice.
was riding really all he cared about? or were there other things he was interested in, things he just never had the opportunity to pursue? things he wasn't allowed to pursue? from the autobiography, you get the sense that his parents always deliberately portrayed it as casey's dream, something he was expected to work hard for in order to be allowed to fulfil. in the podcast, casey says it was a dream he was 'convinced' of. without wanting to speak too much on the specifics of this parenting relationship we only have limited knowledge of, this kinda does all sound like athlete parent 101: getting it into their kids' heads that this is the dream of the child, not the parent, before holding it over them when they fail to perform when their parents have invested so so much in their child's success. casey's family was financially completely dependent on his racing results when they moved to the uk - he was fourteen at the time. he was painfully conscious of his parents' 'sacrifice' to make 'his dream' possible. can you imagine what kind of pressure that must be for a teenager?
to be clear, this isn't supposed to be a gotcha, I'm not trying to uncover contradictions between what casey said back then and what he's saying now. obviously, this is all very... thorny, complicated stuff, and casey has had to figure out for himself how he feels about it, how he feels about how his parents approached his upbringing. but it is worth pointing out that this isn't necessarily just a question of his feelings changing over time - if the internal timeline he provides in the podcast is correct, he was really having that realisation in his late teens, early 20s, so on the verge of joining the premier class. that is when he says he had the thought "I don't know if I would have been a bike racer had I actually had a choice"... which is a pretty major admission, you have to say, especially given how rough those premier class years often ended up being on him. but then that realisation would have already come years and years before he wrote his autobiography, it would've been something he carried with him for most of his career. given that, you do look at his autobiography and think that he did make the decision to frame things pretty differently back then, that he decided to exclude certain things from his narrative. if this really is already something that's been festering within him for years, if he does feel like he wants to be a bit more open about all of that now than back then... well, hopefully it shows he's been able to work through all of it a bit more in the intervening years
(this is somehow an even thornier topic than his relationship with parents, but relatedly there is a bit of a discrepancy between how bullish he is in his autobiography about how mentally unaffected he was by his results, versus how he's since opened up since then about his anxiety. again, I want to stress, this is not a gotcha, he's under no obligation to share this stuff with the world - especially given the amount of discourse during his career about his supposed 'mental weakness'. it is still important in understanding him, though, how he consciously decided to tell his own story in the autobiography and how he's somewhat changed his approach in the subsequent years)
this is the rest of his answer to that podcast question I relayed above:
But at the same time you know I felt that no matter what I would have done, I sort of have a - my mentality of self-punishment, you know, of never being good enough that always drove me to try and be better and any single thing that I did, I didn't like it when I wasn't not perfect. I don't believe in the word perfect but I really didn't enjoy when I wasn't, you know, in my own terms considered a good enough level at anything I did so I would always sort of try to get up as high as I could regardless of what for.
at which point hodgson says exactly what I was thinking and goes 'god what a line' about the "mentality of self-punishment" thing. it is one hell of a line!
what's really interesting about this podcast is how these two big themes of 'this wasn't my choice' and 'self-punishment' end up kinda being linked together when casey talks about how the motogp world reacted to him... so again I'm gonna quickly toss in a bit from the autobiography (where he's talking about casual motorcycling events he went to as a kid), because it does read similarly in how for him the joy and competitive aspects of riding are closely linked:
It was a competition but it wasn't highly competitive; it was just for fun, really. Of course, I didn't see it that way, though, and I had dirt and stones flying everywhere. I don't think anyone expected the park to be shredded like it was. When I was on my bike, if I wasn't competing to my maximum level then I wasn't having as much fun.
and back to the podcast:
And also because people truly didn't understand me, that I'm not there just to enjoy the racing. As we're explaining, before that, you know it was sort of a road paved for me... And so the results were all important, not the enjoyment of it. And then you cop the flak for everything you do. I'm also very self-punishing, so it was kind of a - just a lose lose lose and it was all very very heavy on myself, so... It, you know, it took me till my later years to realise I could take the pressure off myself a little bit and go look you've done all the work you've done everything you can, you got to be proud of what you've done, so... Not necessarily go out there and enjoy it, because I don't believe you should just be going out in a sport where you're paid as much as we are expect to get results and just - you know - oh I'm just going to go and have fun it's like... yeah, nah, if you're just going to go and have fun then you're not putting in the work. And that's when we see inconsistencies etc. So I was very very harsh on myself and so even when I won races, if I made mistakes or I wasn't happy with the way I rode, well then yeah I'm happy I won but there's work to do. There was more to get out of myself and so that's where I copped a lot of bad... um, let's say bad press because of those kind of things and then they sort of attack you even more because they didn't like the fact that you didn't celebrate these wins like they wanted you to they expect you to I suppose treat every victory like almost a championship and you know it's not that I expected these wins but I expected more of myself and therefore maybe I didn't celebrate them as much as you know other people do.
kind of brings together a lot of different things, doesn't it? this whole profession was a path that was chosen for him... which he links here to how the results were 'all important' for him, how it just couldn't ever be about enjoyment. he always punished himself for his mistakes, he was under constant pressure, which also affected how he communicated with the outside world... he was so committed to self-flagellation that he made it tough for himself to actually celebrate his victories, which in turn wasn't appreciated by the fans or the press. so on the one hand, casey's obviously still not particularly thrilled about how much of a hard time he was given over his particular approach to being a rider. but on the other hand, he's also describing how all of this can be traced back to how becoming a rider was never actually his 'choice'. he's detailed his perfectionism before, including in his autobiography, including in discussing his anxiety disorder more recently - but this is explicitly establishing that link between the pressure he'd felt during his childhood to how he'd been pushed into this direction to how he then had to perform. he couldn't afford to be anything less than perfect, so he wasn't, and at times he made his own life even tougher as a result of his own exacting standards. this just wasn't stuff he's said in such straightforward, explicit terms before... and now he is
my general thing with casey is that his reputation as a straight shooter or whatever means people aren't really paying enough attention to how he's telling his own story. like, I kinda feel the perception is 'oh he used to be more closed off because the media ragged on him but since retirement he's been able to tell it like it really is' or whatever. and I'm not saying that's necessarily wrong, but it's not quite as simple as that. because he's not a natural at dealing with the media, he's put a fair bit of thought into how to communicate better with them (which he does also say in the podcast), and he's explicitly acknowledged this is something he looked to valentino for in order to learn how to better handle. because casey has felt misunderstood for quite a long time, he's quite invested in selling his story in certain ways - and it's interesting how what he's chosen to reveal or emphasise or conceal or downplay has changed over time. which means there will be plenty of slight discrepancies that pop up over time that will be as revealing as anything he explicitly says... and it tells you something, what his own idea of what 'his story' is at any given time. this podcast isn't just interesting as a sort of, y'know, one to one, 'this is casey telling the truth' or whatever - it's reflecting where his mind is at currently, what he wants to share and in what way, and how that compares to his past outlook. the framing of his childhood was really something that popped out about this particular interview... it's not like it's exactly surprising that this is how he feels, but more that he decided to say all of this so openly. some pretty heavy stuff in there! hope the years really have helped him... man, I don't know. figure it all out, for himself. something like that
#hodgson is a far better interview than that bloody australian who keeps getting retired riders on his show#on a one man crusade against that youtube channel after the sete episode. listened to it at 1.5 speed but it was still horrendous#idk whether they screened potential q's but if not then hodgson followed up well on that initial casey response about not having a choice#icl I thought this would be a ducati puff piece but they do discuss self loathing for like half an hour#I do treat all athletes' parents with a base level of suspicion. guilty until proven innocent. don't trust any of them#ducati uk posted it on twitter right before I went grocery shopping so I was like 'oh well I'll put it on! that'll be nice!'#and it ended up kinda depressing me icl. super talented at the bike anything thing I get it but low key he should've done something else#I don't follow ducati uk on twitter... I did add them to my motogp list when I saw the podcast announcement. just to be clear#//#casey stoner#brr brr#batsplat responds#still don't entirely get what the concept for the podcast is. does he just chat to people related to ducati. I mean I liked it but#fifty minutes in they go 'yeah remember when you won a title with ducati. that was nice wasn't it'#going on the ducati podast complaining about how new tech has made racing worse like 'we're all trying to find the guy who did this'#heretic tag
19 notes
·
View notes
Text
I think the best part of Heretics is that Frisk is just a regular person and Sans is a fucking demon from hell and yet at any point in the fic they are the scariest person in the room.
Sans just took down 6 people in mere seconds prior to this scene. Doesn't matter, Frisk is queen and they get their time to shine whenever they want to.
The second best part is that Frisk gets to kill their stupid father.
#sans is wholly supportive of this too#unma rambles#need to make it clear this is my fic that I wrote and am rereading#i have my issues with it but Frisk is the best part of the fic#queen shit.#(this frisk uses he/she/they pronouns. not just because I like writing but also as a fuck you to his father)#(she mainly uses she in this fic for the ease of my writing)#(I have had to write three fics in which both focus characters have the same pronouns and oh my god. hell.)#frans#heretics au#my work#my fic#frisk x sans
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
I suppose you wouldn't really change much of Joseph's personality in this fanon. He saw the sign of it early on in Mary and tried to extricate himself but being forced back into it by an angel...and at the end of the day she was a child herself pregnant with something beyond their understanding. Do you think she ever spoke to him about it? Did they have different views? Joseph was a good step father to the child he didn't understand. Mary watched her only son die to serve a plan she couldn't comprehend. And Jesus himself...a child returning again and again to the Heavenly Father that would kill him in the end. He accepted his fate because that's what you do with family. You go back. Right? Even though it will only ever end in pain. You can't escape. That's your family. You can't escape.
#this can't be a new line of thinking. there has to be some sixteenth century heretic with this exact thought.#holy family gothic....oh no I don't want it to sound tiktok-y.#but the horror is there!! the horror is there!!
2 notes
·
View notes