#oh snap ive run out of things i like/j

[yanderespamton78]

RAAAAA U GUYS I AM SO BORED GIMME THINGS TO DRAWWWW

PLS

(PREFERABLY DELTARUNE (ADDISON/SPAMTON) RELATED BUT ILL DRAW FOR ANY FANDOM IM IN (CHECK THE TAGS))

[vtoriacore]

✧ all eyes on you

note: this gotta be my fave vil piece ive ever written god damn i think this is me at my peak with writing. ill never write so well again and that sucks 💀 this is like 2.4k words and i swear half of it is vils outfit description /j someone also tell me why this is becoming a vil cantered blog LMAO

warning: slightly suggestive? bit of kissing at the end but nothing explicit! some jealousy that could be interpreted as slightly yandere/toxic but not really. gn!reader

synopsis: i cannot be bothered coming up with something elaborate after writing this. -> you're in a club. you dance w a random person. vil sees you. lights camera action bestie, the stage is yours to share and exit to the very end.

reblogs much appreciated, mwah 💞💓

He's already had too much Hennessy, he knew it. But looking at you through his translucent, violet sun glasses (perfectly matching his alluring eyes) he couldn't help but want to drink you in even more. It was no surprise you were here, in the same damn exclusive club as him, dancing with some nobody - no chemistry, no feelings attached.

He gripped the glass tighter, sharp lavender nails digging into his palm enough to leave marks. The sight was nothing short of infuriating, and he wanted to do nothing more but to rip you away from the leech vying for your attention when it should only be on him. Slamming the drink onto the table with a low growl, he stood up, all eyes immediately on him.

And why wouldn't they be? As always, he was the best dressed on the scene - the rich lilac, laced, mini slip-dress perfectly hugging his curves and off shoulder matching bolero cardigan accentuating his clavicles. And with every click of his six inch plum coloured t-strap d'orsay platforms (perfectly matching the beat of the current song) he grew more and more aware of the irony of the scene; virtually everyone was admiring his form, none of whom he would spare a single glance, but you.

Golden, diamond shaped earrings jangling as he walked (something he found rather irritating the more he focused on it), Vil tucked his purse closer to his side with a nonchalant flip of his platinum blonde locks. Normally, he'd feel very confident with his stature and mannerisms, but the way you still haven't graced him with even a single look, he felt it diminish. Oh, how he hated, down-right despised the effect you had on him! What right did you, so insignificant- ah no, that'd be too harsh considering he only ever silently sought out your approval and affection, but he'd digress. What right did you have making him feel this worthless, when he has never looked better? Never felt better?

The première of this new movie, Vil being the lead protagonist, was supposed to be the best fucking night of his life! He'd already strolled the red carpet as if he owned the event, knowing damn well it wasn't the truth because even then he was only seeking your eyes and finding them to be on anything but him. How could you disregard him so coldly, even now as he was approaching your form, more restless than ever?

"[Name], fancy seeing you here of all places," voice levelled, Vil addressed you directly; he wanted you to feel nervous under his gaze once you turned, it's what you deserve after causing him this much distress when it was supposed to be his big night. His official debut into the world of heroism.

"Ah, Schoenheit. Of course you'd run into me," he absolutely hated your wording, you were making him seem desparate - and although he was, you had no right even alluding to such thing!

"Disregarding that, it's quite rude not facing someone when they're speaking to you," he felt his nerves almost snap, seeing you turn around only to grace him with a teasing smirk, head tilted and eyes full of recognition.

"What, you miss me checking you out?" you licked your bottom lip, and it drove him almost as insane as your biting remark.

"I have the whole world focused on me, the last thing I'd need is you 'checking' me out," he rolled his eyes, shimmery gold eyeshadow accentuating the gesture.

"And here I thought we'd finally get some privacy so I could admire you," you laughed, and it brought him great satisfaction seeing the person behind you narrow their eyes in discontent. Without so much as a word, they slinked away with a small click of their tongue, something Vil would comment on in a later interview just out of spite. Was it petty? Maybe, but no one disrespects him and gets away with it - especially if they dare affiliate themselves with you.

"Is that what you were hoping for?" Vil raised a perfectly done eyebrow, crossing his arms in the process. He loved the way your eyes momentarily travelled to his chest before meeting his again.

"Sure, we can go with that if it soothes your ego," you looked to the left, observing the crowd watching the interaction with great interest before narrowing your eyes at the person who walked away from you. It irked him that you cared enough about that leech to even remember dancing with them, but your annoyance at them made it worth it - it was a sign you wouldn't seek them out at the very least!

"Interesting you'd say that, seeing your own just got shattered by . . . who was that again? One of the background characters who couldn't act to save their own life?" he knew his perfect, award winning smile would irritate you as always - it was both a great pleasure and a disdain seeing you vexxed by the accusation.

"You're the one who interrupted me, you know," you placed a hand on your hip, staring Vil down (well, up), and his eyes couldn't help but rake over the upper half of your body. He knew it was probably the alcohol doing most of the thinking, but coupled with the ultraviolet lighting , he just couldn't help but wonder how good you'd feel against him in that moment - away from prying eyes of course.

"I did you a favour dear, I assume you've seen them seizing up our director just then?" you merely shrugged at the assertion, instead focusing on your perfectly done nails.

"Yeah I figured they'd try him next, anything for the headlines speculating who they're fucking, no?" you smiled once you finished your unnecessary examination, looking at Vil once more. He couldn't help but let out a low chuckle at the accusation, so genuine it turned a few heads your direction once more. And oh did Vil absolutely relish the envious stares directed your way, knowing damn well none of them could take your place.

"Very bold statement, you do know it's going to make the news and affect my own reputation?" he leaned in, whispering directly into your ear and yet all you could focus on was the gold rimmed necklace with the initials of your first and last name. Once he pulled away, Vil simply smiled - the way you suddenly flushed up made him somewhat giddy. There was no way in hell you'd even direct your gaze on anything other than him for the rest of the night, and the countless rumours of this encounter coupled with the accessory were certainly going to keep you up at night.

"W-well . . . With what you're pulling right now, I could really say the same," he found your aggrevated stutter endearing, simply shrugging as if unaffected by anything you do when the contrary applied.

"You're acting as if it isn't going to be good publicity, with your role as the lead romantic interest, this could be good for both of us," Vil knew you couldn't disagree with this, watching as for once you tried coming up with something to dspute the statement, to no avail.

"Whatever, I've had too much to drink to deal with this," you sighed out, beginning to walk away from him. This of course, wouldn't do - you were once again making him seem as if he were the one that should be following after you.

"Right, goodnight [Name]," he nodded at your back, beginning to turn around only to stop short once he noticed you turn your head, eyes brimming with confusion; it was perfect, you didn't expect a single thing and fell straight for the bait!

" . . . Oh," you furrowed your eyebrows, so softly no one but him would catch on. He was so used to seeing and observing you that by now, Vil had perfectly memorised each and every one of your gestures and mannerisms. This, although something he prided himself on as he was quite perceptive, was simply maddening. His hyper-awareness of having you on his mind too much and for way too long didn't help this fact either.

"What is it?" he was going to get a straightforward answer from you for a change, and he realised you knew it from the little twitch of your lips. You certainly weren't an easy read, to the outsiders of course.

"Well, I just thought . . ." you were reluctant to voice your thoughts, coaxing him into softening his features as silent encouragement - something you picked up on after a few brief seconds.

"I just thought you might want to come somewhere more quiet, with me" you almost whispered, no doubt letting the alcohol affect some of your judgement. Under normal circumstances, Vil knew you'd probably make more sassy remarks but this? You weren't even attempting to make your tone seem insincere, face devoid of your usual show of defiance to anything he does. Such simple action, and yet it had his pulse quicken by too much of a large margin to be considered a normal reaction.

"On second thought, that seems like the perfect remedy for my oncoming headache," he let a faux smile overtake his face, walking closer and closer up to you, until your arms were brushing against each other. To anyone else, it'd simply seem as though the club was too full, but you both knew the intimacy that came with the action - Vil found it unnerving, just how warm it made his face feel when he's already kissed you countless times, both in practice and for the official filming of the scenes. But he did suppose this was something done out of one's volition, so who could realistically fault him for feeling this way?

"You know, absolutely no one uses the corner booths, even though they're all secluded from the main body of the building and perfect to hide away," you spoke up, rather shyly for someone of your disposition, but Vil found it absolutely delightful. Everything he'd done in an effort to get you to himself was finally paying off.

"Well, this is a club for a reason. Most people don't come here to sit around," he purposefully brushed his fingers against yours, the cold, no doubt expensive jewelled rings causing goosebumps to erupt all over your arm.

"Hah, surely they get tired at some point," you playfully rolled your eyes as the both of you walked through a dark archway, music slowly fading to a pleasant, muted buzz.

"Alcohol seems to have the opposite effect it's supposed to when you're clubbing, you'll come to learn soon enough," Vil flashed you a smirk, his cherry red lips catching your attention momentarily before you glanced away. He wondered if he should be happy at your sudden change of personality- was this the real you or just another elaborate show? Either way, he loved it.

"Are you implying something there, Schoenheit?" your teasing, accusatory remark made him click his tongue in a faux display of displeasure before he replied with his own, "Must you analyse every one of my statements?"

"It's not my fault they're usually loaded," your genuine giggle almost made him break the façade.

"How flattering you think me this complex," your smile dropped at that before you turned to fully face Vil, almost catching him off guard as he stopped to mirrror your action with intrigue painting his lilac irises.

"You are," barely two words and he could feel his breath hitch - and the worst part, he didn't even know why! Was it the lack of people around that made this moment feel so intimate? Or was it the courtesy of the dim room with its scarlet lighting making it seem like some romantic scene from a movie?

"You know . . . I still don't understand," you started to speak, voice low yet sincere. He felt himself drawing in a breath but before he could ask anything you spoke up yet again, "Am I overthinking it . . . ?"

"Overthinking what?" it was a miracle he could even speak clearly with how intently you were observing him. He knew he looked perfect, but with your gaze boring so deeply into him, he felt like you could see every flaw - he can't recall a time he felt so vulnerable.

"Ah . . . Nevermind. Ignore me, I wasn't thinking straight," your sudden shake of the head popped the bubble of tension you both felt. Vil felt his eyebrows furrow, a slight pout forming on his face.

"No. You will tell me," he asserted with a hardened resolve, coming ever closer to you as you backed up; his step forward, your step back. Rinse and repeat. Yet when your back had finally hit the ebony wall, you averted your gaze instead of saying anything.

"[Name], I'm serious, don't make me pry it out a different method," Vil leaned in closer to you, grabbing your chin gently to make you look right at him. He'd be damned if he let you slip away now, just when you were about to reveal everything.

"Are you serious, though?" your disappointed gaze had his heart momentarily shatter and before his emotions got the better of him, you once again murmured before he could even breathe, "about me . . .?"

His lips parted, and for the first time in what felt like forever, he felt speechless. Was there even a way for him to convey just how serious he was about you using words, using actions, using feelings alone? Vil could physically feel the pressure of the tension pushing down onto him, and his grip on you loosened.

"I-I see," you closed your eyes in defeat at the silence, and in that very moment he hated himself more than ever.

"I am. Believe me, I am so very serious, so very sure about you. Forgive my silence, I didn't expect to . . . " he trailed off, not thinking straight when you graced him with the sight of your brilliant eyes once more. The surprised flush of your cheeks made him feel slightly nervous; his feelings were out in the open, but would you reciprocate?

He didn't need to ponder the question too long, for in the next moment and without any hesitation, you were pulling him flush against you in an effort to connect your lips. He found himself tilting his head, slipping his sunglasses off with one hand before abandoning them and his purse both on the ground. It didn't matter they were both expensive and about to be ruined, not when the price of your feelings would be too disrespectful to compare to some lousy materialistic items he could replace later.

His hands found purchase on your waist, gently caressing the curvature in an effort to memorise every inch; the way you leaned into him more had him ignoring his burning lungs as they cried out for oxygen. With the way you felt against him, Vil only wanted to breathe you in; everything else be damned. He couldn't deny the disappointment when you had pulled away, but the sight of your burning face and lidded eyes made it worth breaking away anyway.

"I- . . . Damn, I'm sorry," your sudden nervous laugh caused a small smile to rise up on his own flushed face.

"You will be. No one gets away smudging my lipstick darling," you relaxed into Vil's arms at the remark, and he absolutely relished in the bliss of your content gaze and serene demeanor.

"And how do I pay back, hm?" you regained your confidence, but found it quickly simmer down once he spoke again, "Let me smudge yours even more."

You didn't hesitate to pull him back in for a second.

[gagmebucky]

Hiii um are you planning on writing a part two to the best friend!Bucky x shy!reader fic in your main masterlist? I'm a huge fan of your fics btw you're a literal genius and ilysm

you know what, ive gotten this request a lot, and i thought i wasn’t but YES! idk where the inspiration came from, but there shall be a part two to this fic:

in which there’s nowhere to sit and bucky offers his lap—then, subsequently, his cock. (bad boy!bucky x shy!reader, dirty talk, exhibitionism and voyeurism, cockwarming, unprotected sex.)

and thank u for your kind words 🥰🥺🥰🥺 you are a SWEETHEART and ily2

and here’s a lil sneak peek 😈

He grasps your jaw and turns your face to take your lips on his own. Your mouth drops open and immediately accepts his tongue gliding over yours. Somewhere in your mind, you can’t believe you’re french kissing a man you just became acquainted with, classmates surrounding you be damned.

“Oh, I shouldn’t be doing this,” you moan as if it’ll snap you out of it, heavy-lidded as your eyes connect with his own.

He nips at your bottom lip. “But you are, and you’re doing so well,” he cooes so sweetly that butterflies flutter inside your stomach. “My obedient lil’ kitty letting me do whatever I want ‘cause you know I’ll give you everything you need. Isn’t that right?”

A shudder wracks your body, and with the last ounce of resistance, you whimper a stubborn, “N - no.”

Which only provokes him into upping his game. His legs hook around your ankles, spreading them wide so your aching center provides him better access. You didn’t think it was possible, but his thick length burrows deeper inside you, nudging a raw patch within your tightening depths that slaps your hands over your mouth again, wanting to cry out so bad.

He chuckles as he watches the desperation possess your features. “You gotta be more convincing than that,” he teases, placing a peck on your hammering pulse before running his lips over your ear. “If that was true, your pretty pussy wouldn’t be creaming around my big cock.”

And like that, you seize up. The vulgarity clenches your inner muscles while ecstasy swallows you whole and sends you writhing with the intensity. He groans low in your ear, his hips bucking up into you, encircling caress never stopping, slowing ever-so-slightly.

“Oh, you liked that,” he breathes, wrapping his free arm around you and holding you still—thank God because lord knows you don’t have any control. “Don’t try to deny it, kitten, I felt you, squeezing ‘round me like you wanna milk the come out of my dick.”

Another whimper escapes you, and your sensitivity revolts against his continued touch. “J - James,” you whine, dropping your muffle, while his hold cinches further. “Please.”

He tries to pull a sympathetic face, but a grin wants to stretch across his lips, thrilled he can elicit such a reaction out of you. “Aw, is someone sensitive?”

You clutch his wrists, knuckles flexing as he moves. The pitiful look on your face convinces him to slow to a stop, but his fingers remain pressurized on your clit. “You are bad,” you say as you take in his dilated pupils and the ravenous gleam in his darkened eyes.

“And you’re good,,” he cooes and kisses your cheek, “you gonna be good for me, hm? Give me what I want because you like this. You want me to keep going. It’s okay, perverse little thing, I’ll treat you real nice.”

[hwangsies]

zephyr

(n) a gentle breeze

pairing: seo changbin x female reader (hwang hyunjin x female reader)

genre: rebound to fwb to dumbasses to lovers(?), college!au, undergroundrappers!3racha

warnings: angst: mentions of infidelity, heartbreak and abuse, seemingly unrequited love, they are both so dumb and prideful its annoying, fluff, bad attempt at comedy, minsung on the side, cursing, alcohol consumption, smut: protected piv, oral (f), studio sex, praise, mild degradation, hair pulling, mild spanking

wc: 10k

enjoy <3

-

September

"y/n?" you hear your roommates faint voice calling out your name.

You dont bother to answer because you know she's going to come into your room at any second now.

And you're right. "y/n??" Your door opens a few seconds later.

You groan in response, not looking up and instead staying in your little cocoon of blankets.

"no babygirl what are you doing?" you feel the bed shift under lias weight when she sits down.

"what does it look like i'm doing?" you grumble back, her hand gently rubbing over your arm.

"sulking, babe" she replies, dropping her purse to the ground.

"10 points for griffyndor" you sniffle as you scooch and sit up, pushing the blankets half off of you at which she sighs.

"wooyoung was not that good of a boyfriend for you to still be crying over him" lia presses her lips together concernedly.

She's right, you know it. It has almost been two months and you still feel like crying everytime someone mentions him.

"i know" you nod somewhat defeatedly "still, i was with him for almost a year and" you hiccup "he literally ripped my heart out and trampled on it"

"i know" lia nods understandingly "but i do think it would help if you went out again, even if its just for a night, you know just to be around people"

"it probably would but i just dont have the energy for it" you shrug your shoulders.

"i get it, girl, i really do" she pats your knee "both of my exes cheated on me, my only luck was that they were both awful at hiding it so i found out pretty quickly" she huffs.

You force out a chuckle, from what you heard from one of the girls that wooyoung cheated on you with, was that it started 3 months into your relationship.

"this the most humiliating thing ever, lia" you scoff "being with someone for so long, trusting them and telling them all your secrets and you think they are doing the same for you but then realizing that they were faking it all along to have multiple side chicks, and the fact that i was too oblivious to figure it out is the icing on the cake" you rub your forehead, feeling a migrane approach due to the sheer amount of crying you've been doing.

She seems to know what's happening and hands you the water bottle next to your bed "hydrate, sis"

So, you do. Taking four big gulps out of the water bottle.

Once you place the bottle next to you and tie your hair in a messy bun, you look at your roommate more thuroughly now that the tears are wiped away.

"you look pretty" you compliment her makeup and casual yet chic outfit "what'd you do tonight?"

Her contagious grin spreads over her face, eyes turning into little crescents.

"chris took me to the fair in town" lia grins before her face drops "I'm sorry, this is maybe not the time to ta-"

"No! It is, tell me about it" you interrupt her.

"O-okay" she nods hesitantly "well, i dont know if you've been keeping track but today was our fourth date and it was amazing" she gushes.

"I cant believe how much i like him, like, its crazy" she squeals a little, at which you giggle.

"so, fourth date huh? And he hasnt tried to get into your pants yet?" you quip.

"nope, i initiated our first kiss and other than that nothing" she whispers the last words before laughing.

"thats great" you smile, genuinely happy for her.

"Hmm yea" she sings as she gets up "i'll go to bed now too"

"Oh, hey, i have an idea" lia speaks up when standing in your doorway "chris has this performance thingy in two days, you should totally come!" she offers enthusiastically.

"he has a band?" you ask, partly to distract her from her offer.

"Hmm not really a band, they're a trio and there is this performance on saturday where a bunch of underground artists perform, i didnt fully listen if im honest" she giggles "but you should come with me!!" she jumps excitedly.

"i dont kno-"

"y/n pleasee? You'd do me a huge favor too because i dont know anyone there" lia pleads, clutchig her hands together.

"you know chris" you rebuttal.

"and what am i supposed to do when he's performing? stand around like an idiot? please y/n" she pouts.

"I dont really think this is my type of crowd..." you scratch your head.

"please please please" she jumps once more.

You sigh and tilt your head as you look at her sternly.

"one of his friends is single" she adds carefully.

"and cute" she sings "from what ive seen in pictures" she adds.

"lia" you groan.

"I'll do your laundry for two weeks if you come with me"

"you will?" Your head snaps towards her.

"yes i will! i promise, just come with me, please?"

A long sigh leaves your lips "okay"

-

The strong bass of the loud music rings in your chest as soon as you step foot into the club where “3racha” is supposed to be performing tonight.

Lia comes to a halt and you almost run into her because you were to busy checking out the venue and the other people around you.

“sorry” you mumble and hold onto her arm to avoid getting lost in the crowd.

She pulls out her phone and clicks on her and hers and chris’s chat, to figure out where to meet them, you assume.

“okay” lia puts her phone back into her jeans pocket and grabs your hand “they’re backstage, lets go”

“can we just go there?” you almost yell for her to understand what you’re saying.

“yea! Chris said he’ll make sure we’ll get in, come on” she tugs at your hand for you to walk faster.

You waddle behind her, barely dodging some drunk guys beer that goes flying before you arrive at the sign that says “artists only” and a black curtain behind it.

The guy standing infront of it raises a brow at the two of you before pointing at said sign “read ladies, no fans allowed”

“hey, they’re with me” a guy, you assume to be chris, taps on his shoulder and shows his artists badge, half of his body still covered by the curtain.

The bigger guy sighs and lets you through.

“thank you” lia lets go of your hand to loop her arms around chris’s neck once behind the curtain, they kiss and you look around.

Not because you are particularly uncomfortable, maybe still just a little bitter at happy couples.

You audibly clear your throat when they are still making out after a good ten seconds.

“oh-uhm” lia looks back at you after breaking the kiss “chris, this is y/n, y/n, chris” she giggles.

“hi y/n, nice to meet you” he gives you a quick hug and a smile full of dimples, finally understanding why your roommate is always swooning about him.

“hi” you smile back, somewhat forced.

“lets go to our dressingroom” chris suggests and leads the way.

Opening the door, he lets you and lia walk in first.

One guy is dancing around in the middle of the room, singing along to the current song that’s being played in the background with a water bottle as a pretend mic.

Another is one sitting on the small couch and laughing at him.

“oh, hi” the guy stops singing and quickly hides the bottle behind himself at which chris chuckles.

“guys, this is lia and y/n” chris points at the two of you before closing the door behind him.

“ooo the lia?” the waterbottle guy wiggles his eyebrows, at which you cant help but laugh as well, he isn’t very tall but looks lean.

“what is the lia supposed to mean?” lia laughs when chris comes up and slings an arm around her waist from behind her.

“I..well-I talk about you sometimes-“

“sometimes my ass” the guy sitting on the couch scoffs amusedly, your eyes shift to him.

He’s wearing a white baseball cap and a pretty tight fitted black Versace shirt, making his shoulders and arms look broad.

His hands clad in black half-gloves, he adjusts his cap before locking eyes with you and quickly looking down again.

“channie hyung must’ve forgotten his manners, I’m jisung” the waterbottle guy speaks up “and that’s changbin hyung” he points at the most intimidating-looking of the three of them, on the couch.

“channie?” lia squeals as she sits down with chris on the couch changbin is sitting on as well, jisung coming up to you.

“hey, you want something to drink?” he asks, pointing at the mini bar feigning cockiness  “we have a mini bar”

“woow” you chuckle, playing along “sure I’d love a drink”

“how come we’ve never met on campus before?” jisung asks after mixing you a vodka soda and sitting down on the second couch in the room.

“oh, you all go to uni here as well?” you ask surprisedly as you sit down next to him..

“yea” he grins “that’s how we all met” he points at lia and chris almost sitting on top of each other “and those two”

“oh I didn’t even know that” you take a sip, trying to loosen up “I guess I wasn’t listening when she was ranting on about him”

Jisung laughs and changbin joins the two of you as he sits down next to jisung.

“they just started calling each other bubs I feel like throwing up” changbin groans as he drinks from his beer.

You huff before jisung speaks again, looking from his friend back to you “he’s usually more romantic” he quips.

“I bet” you joke with him.

“yup” changbin locks eyes with you “that’s why I’m single, I’m just too romantic” he shakes his head sarcastically.

“ooh” you squint your eyes “emotional unavailability? love that in a man” you grin, at which his eyebrow quirks up amusedly.

“speaking of man, did minho hyung text you when he’d be here?” jisung asks his friend.

“yea he said he’ll be here in 5 and that you should finally buy a new phone” changbin answers, reading it from his phone at which jisung scoffs before turning to you.

“minho is my boyfriend” he explains “he’s hot” he grins at which you laugh “I bet”

“so, y/n, do you have a boyfriend?” jisung asks after taking a sip of his drink

“not anymore” you scoff, jisung inhales excitedly “guess what, changbin is single as well” he grins from ear to ear, comically looking back and forth between you two.

“oh, please dont start like lia” you chuckle, leaning forwards to lock eyes with changbin “no offense, but I only attract assholes”

He shakes his head, amusedly raising his brows “none taken” he grins at which you huff before a young woman comes into their dressing room to tell them they’re up next.

-

Back in the crowd, you and lia find a good place just as the lights dim and the music begins to play.

Suddenly you feel someone run into your side “woah I’m sorry” he quickly apologizes “this guy pushed me” he looks behind him.

“its alright” you nod, loud enough for him to hear.

Once they come outside, the crowd goes wild.

“jisungieee” the guy next to you all over sudden screams, you have to smile when looking at him.

“are you minho by any chance?” you ask him.

He nods aggressively “yea! do you know jisung?”

“I just met him backstage” you yell over the loud bass.

Minho laughs and nods before the bass drops and chris starts the first verse.

“he’s great right?” lia screams into your ear when the first chorus ends.

“yea” you nod, actually surprised at how good their music is, now understanding as to why the crowd loves them so much.

Changbin starts his verse and suddenly you feel somewhat entranced, his voice is rough and his bars are hard, definitely fitting his appearance but what entices you is the passion with which he appears to be performing.

Throughout their whole performance you cant take your eyes off him, the way his arms flex when he grips onto the microphone a little harder or the way his jugular sticks out when he growls into the microphone.

Not to mention the thighs you somehow didn’t notice in their dressing room, you watch them strain against his leather pants and feel even hotter suddenly.

Their last song ends and lia is quick to be in your ear about going backstage to chris again.

“oh you know chan hyung?” minho overhears and chimes in.

“yea she’s his date” you point at your overly excited roommate.

“changbin just texted and said they’re upstairs in the vip lounge, come with me” the brunette holds out his hand for you to take, which you do and grab lia with the other one.

“do you know where you’re going?” you ask minho after a minute of pressing yourself along sweaty dancing bodies.

“yea! they’re here a lot” he yells back “its right over there” he points to a flight of stairs where yet another bouncer is standing in front of.

“hey minho” the bouncer greats him with a fist bump “these girls are with you?” he points at lia and you.

“yea” he nods.

“trying something new, I see” he laughs atw hich you frown.

“oh, nono” minho chuckles uncomfortably “I’m still with jisung”

“ah-alright well, have fun” the bouncer moves after looking you all up and down, letting you walk up the stairs.

“wow, you’re famous” lia giggles at which minho huffs and shakes his head amusedly “yea, for being the only non-straight person they know”

“baby” you see jisung jump up from his seat in the spacious lounge as soon as you enter.

“hii” minho holds out his arms for him to run into, you cant stop yourself from smiling when you see jisung jump into his boyfriends arms.

“lia, y/n come over here” chris waves at the two of you.

“you were so good, baby” you hear minho praise jisung behind you as you walk over to the large round sitting booth where chan and changbin are sitting.

Lia slides into the booth and cuddles into chans side “you were awesome” she squeals as you sit down on the other end and grab a fresh glass from the middle of the round table, holding it next to changbins where he’s pouring cherry vodka into.

“can i get some?” you ask, he glances at you and smirks before silently filling your glass with a  double shots worth of the slightly rosy liquid.

“so, how did you like it?” he asks as he leans back, taking a swing of his drink.

“you guys were really good” you nod “to be honest I didn’t expect such high quality music”

He laughs, leaning his head back a little, his adams apple bopping with it.

You cant help but notice the sheer sheen of sweat that expands over his thick neck, obviously coming from their escapades on stage just now.

“what did you expect? a bunch of drunks playing wonderwall on the guitar for more drunks?” he grins, straight white teeth on display.

“hey, don’t come for wonderwall” you raise your hand jokingly at which he laughs.

“I wouldn’t dare” he raises his hands comically.

“hey” you whip your head around to see jisung and minho “scoot, please” jisung speaks again.

“oh-yea” you grab your drink and scoot further into the half circle-shaped booth.

“so what do you study?” changbin asks, his voice catches you off guard because you hadn’t calculated how close you’re sitting to him.

You turn to him to realise you’re close enough to smell his perfume and aftershave.

“uh- I- art” you answer shakily before taking a sip of your drink just to pull a face afterwards.

“jesus christ” you cough a little and hold your chest as changbin laughs.

“its stronger than you’d think” he grins “can you handle it?” he teases when your eyes get a little watery.

You stare at him for a second before playfully rolling your eyes “im good” 

His eyes trace over your face as you look around before he breaks the silence ”i can get you something else if you want” he offers.

“oh-uh no, I’m just being dramatic its fine” you chuckle.

“so...what do you study?” you change the topic.

“I’m majoring in music” he says, stretching out his arms over the backrest “all three of us are”

“oh, so you like, produce all your own stuff?” you ask, your eyes jumping to where his forearm touches your shoulder, that’s leaning against the backrest.

“yea, channie hyung composes the most, me and ji write a lot” he explains,

“thats really cool” you nod, looking over to the mentioned guy.

Changbin follows your eyes and huffs when the both of you see him and your roommate sucking face again.

After a few seconds they stop and giggle before standing up to go somewhere.

“where are they going?” you huff.

“I guess they want some alone time” he chuckles, lifting the arm close to you to take off the cap he’s still wearing.

You flinch when his forearm brushes your shoulder.

“are you scared of me?” he asks slowly, stopping his movements, cap still in hand.

“no- no” you shake your head, chuckling “I- its just been a while since I’ve gone out and I don’t know” you shrug “I feel a little lost”

“hm” changbin cocks his brow at your words, running one hand through his dark brown locks.

You divert your eyes from his bulging bicep back to his face quickly when he speaks again.

“any reason why?” he leans back again.

“oh, just a shitty ex and a shitty breakup” you shrug “I’m gonna spare you the details”

“aw, no please, tell me he had a small dick and everything, now im invested” he jokes.

You tsk at him and push his arm playfully, feigning annoyance.

“that still doesn’t answer my question as to why you jumped like that when my arm touched you” changbin raises his brows expectantly.

You open your mouth to speak but-

“we’ll go get some more to drink” minho interrupts you at which changbin nods.

“so?” he asks again, once minho and jisung leave.

“did that ex hit you? give me his address I’ll beat him up for you” changbin deadpans.

“no” you shake your head after taking another sip “he didn’t” you huff incredulously.

“its just- you look kinda scary” you blurt out finally.

His eyes widen before he falls into a boyish laughter, which you cant help but join.

“me?” he points at himself before laughing again, the image you had made up in your mind about him cracking.

“yea!” you raise your brows “when you look like this” you furrow your brows and lightly squint your eyes to mimic his resting bitch face.

“what the-” he splutters laughingly.

“stoop, don’t laugh” you hold onto his forearm, still giggling yourself.

He calms himself, subconsciously scooting closer to you in the now empty booth.

“maybe scary wasn’t the right word” you snicker, looking down.

“I think the word you were looking for was: sexy, hot or mysterious, maybe handsome-” he quips, grinning to himself when you start laughing again.

“no, no, I know what I meant” you joke back, just now noticing how close he is, his knee touching yours as his whole torso is turned to you.

“so none of my suggestions are accurate?” he cheekily raises one brow at which you scoff playfully.

“maybe one or two” you see his eyes jump to your lips.

The air suddenly feels thick around you with tension, changbins tongue darting out to wet his plump bottom lip while his eyes are still locked on yours.

You breathe in before the two of you lock eyes again "so…are you gonna kiss me, or just stare?"

He raises his brows at your sudden boost of confidence, grinning amusedly.

"what happened to me being scary?" he counters before urging you to swing one leg over his thighs with gentle hands.

You take a seat on his lap, straddling his thick thighs before looping your arms around his neck "i dont know, i think i'm into it" you quip.

His hands wander up your waist "well then i wont make you wait any longer" he grins, looking at your lips one last time before closing the gap inbetween you two.

You meet him in the middle, changbins grip on your waist tightens when his plush lips land on yours.

He pulls you closer to him, pushing his tongue past the seam of your lips.

You can taste the cherry vodka on his tongue but it riles you up even more, sucking at the wet muscle before his hands wander over the swell of your ass and each grab a handful of the flesh; your short skirt riding up when you subconsciously grind against his lap.

“be careful” he mumbles against your lips, gently tugging down the piece of fabric so you don’t expose yourself to bywalkers.

“where’s the fun in that?” you cock your head to the side teasingly.

Changbin scoffs and leans in again but you get interrupted by jisung.

“hey, we-oh” you whip your head around.

Jisungs frown turns into a grin “uh” he chuckles “we dont mean to interrupt but chan hyung texted minho and they’re going to your place” he points at you.

“ugh, seriously?” you mutter.

“I’m sleeping at minhos so, hyung you’ll have our place to yourself” he winks at changbin.

“so, we’re out too, have fun you guys” minho waves teasingly as jisung drags him away.

For a second you stare after them, until a gentle squeeze at your waist makes you turn around again.

“you could come over to my place if you don’t want to go to yours right now” he offers, eyes flickering to your lips when you bite at your lower one.

-

This is usually like not you, letting some guy you barely know take you home.

But here you are the next morning, looking up at the ceiling, changbins room flooded with daylight.

You sit up and look at the still unconscious changbin next to you. His blanket had fallen down and exposes his toned torso, barely covering his private parts.

A tingle forms in your lower abdomen when you think of what happened here a few hours ago.

But you pull yourself together and start looking around for your clothes.

You spot your bra on his desk and your skirt and shoes on the floor, gently shimmying out from underneath the blanket; you grab your skirt and slide it on without your panties, not being able to find them anywhere.

Right as you clasp your bra behind your back, changbins morning voice makes you flinch “you would’ve just snuck out?” he grumbles, rubbing his eyes as you look back at him.

“what? did you take me for a breakfast lover?” you quip as you slide into your shoes, looking around for your shirt.

“damn, that’s cold” he chuckles lowly, sitting up and watching you stride around his room.

“where did you put my shirt?” you ask, bending down to look under his desk.

“maybe you should worry about your panties first” he snickers, eyes glued to your core when you look back at him.

You kiss your teeth and straighten up quickly, having forgotten about your lack of underwear.

“not that that wasn’t a great view just now-“

“you’re not helping” you interrupt him, eyes lighting up when you spot your shirt in the hallway.

“why so serious all over sudden?” he grins “last night you were everything but tense”

You scoff as you pull your shirt over your head and stuff it into your skirt before grabbing your purse and phone.

“I have an exam in 2 days and I haven’t studied yet” you exhale.

“I could drive you home-“ he runs a hand through his messy hair.

“I’ll call a cab, uhm- thanks for last night” you hurriedly smile before walking out.

“bye” changbin calls after you, frowning and dropping back down onto his bed when he hears the door shut behind you “have a nice day I guess” he mumbles to himself.

 October

You cling your jacket closer to your body as you walk through the howling wind the seasonal change had brought with it.

When you arrive at lias faculty building you take out your phone to see if she texted you about when her lecture would be over.

lia : hey babe, chris took me to his place -received at 4:17 pm

You roll your eyes, typical you think.

you : are you serious? you begged me to walk home with you -sent at 4:25 pm

You see her the little blue bubble pop up, indicating that she’s writing a message.

lia : im sorry!! please don’t be mad, he surprised me :((( -received at 4:25 pm

You scoff and turn off your phone before slipping it in your coats pocket alongside your hands. Typical, you think, ever since that night at the club the two of them have become inseparable and lia cancelling on you had become a regular thing. You are happy for her but you also miss your friend.

“y/n?” a familiar voice calls after you right as you start to walk away, you freeze and turn around.

“yea?- oh” you swallow harshly when you see changbin walk your way.

“hey” he smiles brightly and you have to bite back a grin at the cute beanie he’s sporting alongside his slightly red nose due to the cold weather.

“hi” you smile timidly.

“you never texted” he tilts his head at which you nod.

“yea, sorry I actually never got your number” you look at the ground “uh- what are you doing here?”

“oh um im on my way to the studio” he points at a nearby building “that’s the music faculty”

“ah okay, well” you lock eyes “have fun then” you turn around again, ready to walk away.

“hey” he catches up with you “you wanna join me? check out some of our new stuff?” he burries his hands in the front pockets of his jeans.

“I don’t know, changbin I really don’t want to date right now-“ you start at which he chuckles.

“I didn’t ask you to marry me” he stops in his tracks, grinning when you do as well, locking eyes “come on, I just need an unbiased opinion on some new tracks” he tilts his head.

You inhale before looking around you “I could drive you home after? So you don’t have to walk through this weather?” he offers, raising his brows at which you purse your lips.

“alright” you give in, changbin smiles and extends his elbow for you to hold.

You simper and coyly hook your hand around his arm as the two of you start walking.

-

“this is awesome!” you point to his laptop a minute after he played the first song for you.

Changbin grins bashfully and leans back into his desk chair “you think?”

“yea, the hook is super catchy” you bob your head as his eyes fix on your profile “you’re really talented, changbin” you catch him blushing before putting on another song.

After a few other songs, he takes off his headphones when you take off yours.

“can I ask you something?” he asks, you glance at him.

“you just did” you quip at which he huffs, “sure” you nod.

“how much of that night do you remember?” he fiddles with one of the rings on his left hand.

“why?” you ask back.

“well, you seemed really upset the next morning so I got kind of scared that you didn’t actually want it and I kind of took advantage of you” he recalls the night the two of you spent together.

“oh, no. you didn’t take advantage of me, I wasn’t even  drunk and I would’ve told you if I had changed my mind or something. That was just the first time I ever spent the night at a guys house for a one night stand” you absently pick off some fuzzies from your jeans.

“plus I had just come out of a relationship so I was a little too emotional anyways” you chuckle.

“alright” changbin nods “just wanted to make sure” he smiles down at his hands “cause I remember all of it”

You whip your head, scoffing when you see him with a shit eating grin on his face.

“hm” you feign ignorance as you lean back “I don’t know, there wasn’t a lot to remember” you grin mischievously.

He laughs out loud, leaning forwards “no?”

You shake your head, pursing your lips comically “nah”

“cause I remember you shaking and screaming” he grins.

You shrug your shoulders “weird, must’ve faked it” you deadpan, fiddling with the headphones you’re still holding.

Changbins tongue prods on the inside of his cheek, huffing when he catches you grinning.

“right” he grins slumping into his seat a little further.

A thought flashes in your head when your gaze drops to his crotch and thick thighs, you swallow some spit in frustration as you feel your core getting hotter.

He was right, the night was amazing, maybe that was even part of the reason you stormed out the way you did.

You clench your thighs for some relief, anything really.

“want me to refresh your memory?” your eyes jump up to meet his, you open your mouth but nothing comes out; do you want him to?

Yes. Yes you do.

So, you get up and straddle him on his chair: his hands instantly gripping at your hips, pulling you closer.

“someones eager” he grins, pushing some of your hair behind your ear.

“shut up” you whisper before crashing your lips onto his.

Changbin groans when you tug at his hair, inviting you to slip your tongue in between his lips and grind your hips over his crotch.

He hisses before propping himself up on one armrest and holding your lower back with the other as he stands up; you squeal but he holds you before sitting you back down on the desk, next to his laptop.

“now who’s eager” you grin when his hands find the waistband of your leggings and tug them down with your panties in one.

He huffs as he bunches your leggings and panties around your ankles before slipping underneath the fabric barrier and inbetween your legs.

“by the looks of it..” he runs a finger through your wet folds “still you” he quips before pushing one finger in without warning.

You moan, you head dropping back onto the hard wooden surface.

“look at me” changbin orders as a second finger prods at your entrance, you whimper but prop yourself up on your elbows.

He curls the two fingers and pumps them almost violently, the palm of his hand smacking your clit with every pump.

“oh god-“ you yelp, your eyes scrunching together as your hips buck up.

“its changbin but god is fine too” he quips as he lowers his head, you curse at him, even though you have to laugh a little.

“you’re so annoy-ah!” you cry out because suddenly his tongue is lapping over your swollen clit, sucking on it forcefully when you claw one hand into his already messed up dark locks.

“fuck-bin- gonna cum” your hips stutter and you feel the pleasure that’s blooming in your tummy is getting ready to snap.

“mmh” he humms against you “cum then, baby” he moans, knowing full well what the added vibrations are doing to your body when your chest arches and your mouth drops open.

Your cries fill the studio as you clamp down on his fingers; he rides your through your high, holding down your hips with his unoccupied hand because you squirm with the euphoria that’s filling your veins.

“good girl” he mumbles, removing his fingers from you before bringing them up to your lips “now, suck them clean for me, yea?” he grins, lips and chin shiny with your cum.

-

“finally” you huff when arriving at 3rachas lounge in a club out of town; where they had just performed “this club is huge” you breathe, jisung scooting and changbin letting you squeeze past him to take a seat in between them as they chuckle.

Lia and chan already lost in their own world again as she drags him to the dancefloor, squealing when chan teasingly squeezes her sides as they disappear into the crowd.

“they are made for each other” minho sighs, sitting down and giving jisung the second beer from his hands.

“I know right” you lean back, breathing in.

“you’re still out of breath?” changbin laughs at you at which you hit his arm.

“stop it, oh my god” you feign annoyance “you know how exhausting it is to dodge beer bottles and not loose lia? she’s like a Chihuahua, I swear, you loose her once and its over” you chuckle, jisung and minho laughing too.

“you just don’t have any endurance, woman” changbin grins teasingly.

“that’s so not true” you laugh incredulously “what about two nights ago-“

“AH-“ jisung interrupts you, placing his hands over his ears “please spare us your sex stories, I hear enough of that when you’re over, babe”

You huff and changbins cheeks turn red.

“you guys are fucking?” minho asks, eyebrows raised as he takes a swing of his beer.

“good job keeping up, baby” jisung pats his boyfriends thigh teasingly at which he tsks at him.

“are you together or what?” minho props his elbow on the table to support his chin with his hand as he looks at the two of you expectantly.

“no, we’re not” you chuckle somewhat uncomfortably before looking over at changbin who just grins awkwardly.

“just here to be a good friend and keep the groupies away” you joke “right?” you nudge changbin with your elbow at which he nods swiftly, looking down again.

“yea, baby don’t be so old fashioned” jisung teases his boyfriend who just rolls his eyes playfully.

“speaking of groupies” minho mutters, spotting a group of girls just before they approach the lounge.

“hey jisungie, you wanna dance?” a pretty blonde girl bats her eyelashes as she leans down a bit to expose more of her cleavage, making jisung grin.

“baby, you’re gorgeous but I’m very gay” he nods apologetically, “Oh” she straightens up “really? You sure?”

You and changbin have to bite back a laugh when jisung nods again “very sure, thanks though, for coming”

She shrugs and looks at changbin “what about you? Wanna dance?”

“uh-“ changbin starts but you cut him off “he’s with me actually” you tilt your head.

“for real?” she stems her hands into her hips as she looks back at her posse, scoffing.

“yea” changbin loops his strong arm around your waist and pulls you closer to him “that’s my girl, so a little respect, please”

“aww” you coo dramatically as you play along, putting your hand on his jaw to turn his head towards you before you lock lips.

“whatever” you faintly hear the girls voice get quieter when changbin slips his tongue in between your lips.

“they’re gone” you hear minho but changbin pulls your legs to dangle over one of his thighs as he grips your waist.

“guys” jisungs voice only registers in the back of your head when changbin sucks at your bottom lip and you run your fingers through the hair on the back of his head.

“can I get you some more beers?” the waitresses voice pulls the both of you out of your trance as you break the kiss abruptly.

Jisung laughs, shaking his head at the both of you before turning to the waitress “we’ll take a round of shots I think”

  November

 “fuck-harder” you gasp “..mhh binnie-shit” you moan while changbin pounds into you from behind, gripping your hip tighter with one of his hands; the other one migrating up your back to gather the legth of your hair, twisting them before he pulls at their root.

You groan when you feel your hair getting pulled back, neck stretching as he picks up his pace.

“like this? fuck you love this don’t you?” he breaths ragged, but you can hear the dirty smirk that lingers on his lips every time you have rough sex..

You moan out loudly when he releases your hair and pushes your torso down onto the mattress, your hand pulling at the sheets , needing something to grip and release the pleasure.

“fuck- answer me, slut” he grunts and delivers a harsh slap to your ass.

You cry out “yes-yes-fuck-love it” you desperately gasp as he leans down to you, earning a low chuckle which sends shivers down your back.

His lips latch onto your shoulder blade and start sucking on the skin until a purple mark blooms under his lips.

“fuck” you let out a strangled yell when the hand on your hip makes its way to your front and he started circling your clit with his fingers, the pace and firmness matching his thrusts.

You cry out for him as you clench furiously around his cock “that’s a good girl” he whispers, only letting go of your clit when you flinch in overstimulation.

“cum for me- fuck baby, cum for me and let the others know who’s fucking you this good” he rasps in your ear. Not 5 seconds later, your orgasm ripples through you and you would’ve collapsed completely if he wasn’t holding you up.

You’re still panting when both of his hands go back on your hips and push them down, laying you flat on the mattress before he picks up his pace again with his last left strength to reach his own high.

“shit- y/n“ he grunts when you tighten around him again and you feel him filling the condom with some drawn out groans and a sharp hiss.

After a few seconds of nothing but heavy breathing filling the room, he pulls out and falls next to you on his bed.

You wince at the soreness that’s already presenting itself when you turn around on your back, looking over to him; you watch as he ties a knot in the condom and throws it into the trash next to his desk.

“kobe!” he exclaims gleefully at his perfect throw before looking back at you to see if you saw.

“jesus christ why am I sleeping with you” you hold your hands over your face, hating the fact that it made you laugh.

He gasps, feigning to be offended “that’s not how you speak to the guy that just made you cum three times”

“you are so full of yourself, seo changbin” you shake your head amusedly as you sit up.

“wait, I’ll clean you up” changbin is quick to rise from his comfortable position to grab some tissues from his nightstand.

“come here” he mumbles, gently urging you to lie back down before carefully wiping your own cum off your inner thighs and mound.

You watch him as he gently moves to wipe the tissue over your puffy folds, your hips jumping a little when he accidentally passes your clit.

“sorry” he grins, pressing a kiss to your angled knee; at which you feel your heart lurch forward a bit.

Woah, wait.

You’ve been seeing changbin just for sex for almost two months now, you’ve even gone with him other performances and after parties to keep groupies away and be his arm candy and never has your heart done this.

Mayday. Abort mission.

“should be good for now” changbin shrugs, shooting you a sweet smile before turning away from you to also get rid of the tissues.

You use the opportunity to shuffle to the side of his bed and slip on your panties before grabbing your bra.

“hey, you wanna leave already?” changbin asks “I thought we could hang” he tucks his hand under his head as you look back at him, clipping your bra closed “watch a movie or something”

“sorry, I promised lia I’d help her clean the apartment today” you lie, surprisingly quick, before pulling your hoodie over your head.

“so you’re just gonna fuck me and leave again?” he jokes dramatically “I don’t even get cuddles?”

“shut up” you chuckle.

“am I nothing more to you than a pretty piece of meat?” he continues as you slip into your jeans, rolling your eyes playfully.

“a toy you use when you need stress relief??” he holds his chest dramatically.

You step into your shoes and raise your brows at him.

“are you complaining?” you ask playfully.

“nahh” he pulls his covers over his abs as he watches you grab your jacket from his desk chair.

"At least give me a 'gopdbye, thanks for the bomb dick, kiss" He grins when you scoff at him. So, you lean over him and press a quick peck to his lips; he whines playfully when you lean back up again, sitting up and catching your lips with his roughly once more.

“alright, see ya” you shrug."

And shit, your heart does it again. What are you doing?

You break the kiss and ruffle through his hair.

“ugh” he huffs annoyedly, fixing his hair “I hope you have trouble walking” he quips as you go for the door.

“I’ll text you if I don’t” you wink at him before closing his door, leaning against it from the outside and closing your eyes.

“fuck” you whisper to yourself before making your way through the guys apartment.

“don’t break his heart, y/n” minhos voie comes from behind as you twist the doorknob.

“huh?” you trun around to look at him, he’s wearing a shirt that you know to be jisungs so he must be staying over.

“I’ve known changbin for a while, he seems tough but he’s a softie deep down” he crosses his arms over his chest “he hurts easier than you think”

“we- we’re both not in this for anything serious” you stammer “what do you mean?”

“I see the way he looks at you, y/n” minho smiles softly “I’m not telling you how to live your life, just, be honest with him… and yourself for that matter” he quirks one brow up, smiling before disappearing around the corner.

 -

 You squint your eyes as you’re trying to make out the label of the cereal boxes in the upper shelves, looking back at your phone you check to see what brand lia had texted you about so you don’t accidentally buy the wrong thing.

“fuck” you mumble when you see her desired cereal at the top of the shelf, so you reach up but to no avail.

“y/n?” you lower your heels to the floor again before turning around to see…

“hyunjin?” you face drops in awe.

“hey!” the tall young man smiles widely, opening his arms and inviting you to a hug.

“wow, hi” you hug him back.

Damn, what happened to him? The last time you saw him was before he moved away in 10th grade.

You used to be good friends with him, or, well, the freakishly skinny and lanky highschool version of him you met in dance class.

By the feel of it, even through the trenchcoat he’s wearing, you can tell he’s bulked up quite a bit.

After letting go of him, you cant help but stare.

His acne had cleared up and his brown hair is chin length with the top parts pulled back into a little pony tail, leaving some face framing strands in the front.

“wow- you look-“ you blink a few times to make sure you’re not dreaming “…really good, hyunjin”

He smiles on the ground, his pretty plump lips parting to reveal beautiful pearly whites which used to be covered by braces.

“so do you” he grins.

“no- I mean you look… good-good” you splutter, laughing awkwardly “like what are you a model now or something?”

“actually, yea- part time” he chuckles.

“oh” you huff  “wow of course” you shake your head laughingly, blushing furiously when he doesn’t break eye contact.

“so- uhm” you gulp, making him grin even wider “what are you doing here?”

“I’m transferring here” he nods “better dance programme” he explains shortly.

“oh you still dance” you observe out loud “I haven’t danced in a while” you look down.

“you should come by after practice sometime” he offers “to catch up- or dance if you want” he giggles, a little dimple appearing on his left cheek.

“yea, I’d love that” you smile, nodding before he takes out his phone.

“put in your number, I’ll text you” he smiles softly when holding it out to you.

“mhm” you agree, saving your number in his phone and trying not to think about him staring at you the whole time.

“alright well” he checks his phone for the time, you guess “I gotta get going, only came here for this” he chuckles, holding up a carton of milk that you, weirdly enough, haven’t noticed until now.

“alright” you nod before he moves in for a hug again.

“bye” he smiles when loosening his arms again.

“bye” you mumble, staring at the back of his perfect head as he walks away.

You were about to pull out your phone and rant to lia about what just happened, when he stops in his tracks and turns around.

“almost forgot” he grins, reaching up and getting your cereal from the top shelf; winking when he places it in your hands, your body freezing.

“bye” he grins, walking away before you could thank him.

-

 You had taken hyunjin up on his offer and met him in the dance studio after class where he showed you some of his contemporary pieces before you made your way to the popular coffee shop on campus together.

“-no seriously the second piece was my favourite I think, but they were all amazing!” you smile up at him at which he shakes his head cutely.

“can you stop complimenting me, y/n I’m getting all nervous” he laughs softly.

“oh please” you quip “with your talent and looks I would think nothing could make you nervous” you roll your eyes playfully.

Hyunjin huffs, opening the coffee shops door for you “you can” he says softly as you walk past him, you turn around to him to see him blush a litte but diverting his eyes to the big menu above the counter.

Did he just flirt with you? No, you must be tripping.

You look around to see only two other people sitting in one of the booths together, the cold must keep most people home, you think before hyunjin gently pulls at your sleeve to get your attention.

“what do you want?” he asks, the barista looking at you expectantly.

“uhm- a hot chocolate please” you say, reaching in your purse to get your wallet.

“I’ll take the same” hyunjin smiles politely, giving the barista money.

“on me” he smiles down at you.

“oh, thank you” you smile sheepishly, letting go of your purse again.

Once your hot chocolates are ready, you sit down in one of the booths, hyunjin sliding in to sit across from you.

“I was back home last week before I came here, you’ll never guess who I met” hyunjin grins.

“who?” you ask curiously.

“tim” he grins.

“tim?” your eyes almost pop out of your head “as in my first boyfriend tim?” you laugh, holding your hand to your face incredulously.

“but he moved away as well?” you half ask.

“yea he said he was visiting his grandparents, but guess the best part” hyunjin bites his lip

“what?” you chuckle.

“he got a nose job” hyunjin bites back a laugh when you gasp surprisedly “really?”

“one word” hyunjin says “botched…”

“aw no, poor tim” you frown, looking down at your hot drink as memories from back in the day come back to you.

“he always used to put his hand up my shirt when hugging” you frown, making hyunjin laugh.

“it was 9th grade y/n what did you expect?” you scoff at his rethorical question.

“I don’t know, some basic manners maybe?” you counter playfully…slowly letting the conversation die down as you both take sips from your cocoa.

“how come we never dated?” he asks softly after aminute of silence, looking up at you.

“we were friends?” you chuckle awkwardly.

“come on” hyunjin sits back in his booth “you must’ve known I had the biggest crush on you”

“you did?” you almost launch forwards in your seat, making hyunjin laugh.

“well, I guess you didn’t know then” he giggles, hiding his face in his hands embarrassedly.

“anyways, I would’ve paid good money to be able to slip my hand up your shirt” he jokes, cheeks reddening when you laugh.

“I honestly liked you a lot back then” you say “if you would’ve said something we might’ve actually gone out” you shrug gently.

“damn, way to rub that in my face” hyunjin grins.

You hold his eye contact for a few seconds before you feel your blood rushing to your cheeks again, quickly lifting up your mug to take a sip and partly cover your face.

When you put your mug back down, hyunjin grins widely, mumbling a “cute” before slowly bringing his hand to your chin and gently swiping his thumb over your top lip where a foam mustache had formed.

You gulp when he swiftly sucks the foam off his thumb, your eyes darting from his eyes to his lips.

When he notices, he leans over, slowly as if scared to overwhelm you.

That’s when minhos words pop up in the back of your head.

“be honest with him, and yourself for that matter”

But you aren’t together, and hyunjin is great and you want to kiss him but you know it would be wrong.

However, before you know it his lips are on yours and you’re not doing anything to stop him.

They are soft and inviting and you let him swipe his tongue over the seam of your lips, but then the little doorbell rings and you hear lias voice, followed by a male one before they abruptly stop, making you pull away abruptly.

Oh.

There they are, lia, chan, jisung and changbin; looking at you.

“y/n” lia grins widely, approaching your table “aren’t you gonna introduce us?” she squeals, hyunjin clears his throat and sits back down.

The three guys hesitantly follow lia when-

“woah- hyunjin?” chan speaks up.

“chan-hyung?” hyunjin gets up from his place to receive a hug from the older one as your eyes divert to changbin who is looking at the ground.

You aren’t together. Then why do you feel so guilty and why does he look so disappointed.

“he’s cute, girl” jisung grinningly interrupts your daydreaming, nodding towards chan and hyunjin who are still talking.

You force out a smile.

“how do you two know each other?” lia asks curiously.

“he went to my highschool, the last few years” chan grins.

“what a coincidence” you mumble, almost ironically.

“I went to highschool with y/n too, the first couple years though, then I moved away” hyunjin explains “oh, im sorry, I’m hyunjin by the way” he turns to jisung and changbin.

“I’m jisung, this is changbin” jisung smiles, pointing at his grumpy friend.

“I’m lia” lia grins “his girlfriend and her best friend” she points at chan before snuggling up to you, giggling.

Jesus, woman where do you get the energy? Is what you want to ask but you just flash another forced smile, hoping this moment will pass quickly.

“where were you guys?” you change the topic, hoping changbin would maybe look at you if you spoke up.

“oh, I caught them all huddled up in the studio” lia grins “they probably haven’t been outside in a week again” she giggles.

“true” jisung quips.

“hey lets all sit down” hyunjin suggests.

“I’ll get a coffee” changbin mumbles, walking back to the counter.

You usher lia to make way for you to get out of the booth, following him.

“bin” you stand next to him as he looks up at the menu but he ignores you.

“you could at least acknowledge my presence, your highness” you quip annoyedly.

“what do you want me to say, y/n?” he mutters.

“I didn’t know this would happen with him or I would’ve told you” you say, looking back at the other four talking and laughing in the booth.

“we’re not together y/n, you’ve made that very clear; if you wanna kiss lord farquaad go ahead, I’m not stopping you” he looks over to the booth as well.

“jesus christ” you huff “why are you so defensive then?”

“hi” changbin greets the barista who just came from the back “I’ll have an iced coffee to go, please” he orders.

“the world doesn’t revolve around you y/n, maybe I’m having a bad day” he answers when the barista makes his way to the coffee machines, you feel a lump from in your throat.

“yea, well thanks for making mine bad as well” you turn on your heels to join the others, hyunjin sees you coming back and scooches to make some space for you next to him.

You smile and thank him quietly when he also gives you your mug.

“everything alright?” he asks quietly, as to not disturb the others conversation.

“yea, just had to ask him some stuff” you smile at which he smiles back, turning back to the others.

After a minute changbin approaches the booth with his iced coffee “hey, I’ll run back to the studio I gotta finish that track”

“ugh, changbin I just dragged you out of there, stay for a second” lia protests and jisung nods along.

“nah, gotta get it done tonight” he shakes his head.

“alight see you later” chan nods.

“nice to meet you, man” hyunjin says, nodding at him as well.

“yea” changbin answers tight-lipped before walking out.

 December

”I’m sorry, hyunjin” you frown “I’m just not ready for a relationship after what happened with my ex-“

“its alright y/n” his large hand encases yours “you don’t have to explain yourself to me”

You sigh in relief “I’m sorry I tried to rush things, it just, seemed to good to be true to find you here and everything” he says.

“but I’ll wait for you, if that’s what you want” he looks up at you.

“oh, jinnie you shouldn’t have to do that” you shake your head “I’m sure there are great girls out there who are emotionally ready to be with you”

“yea, but you’re the girl I want to be with” he says softly and your heart shatters into pieces because you’re not sure he’s the guy you want to be with.

-

You fight yourself through the crowd at 3rachas last performance of the year, at the same venue where you met them for the first time. Just like the time before, chan makes sure lia, hyunjin, minho and you are able to come backstage.

“I’m excited to see you perform, man” hyunjin grins at chan, patting his shoulder “your stuff was already dope back then…” they continue speaking as you enter their dressing room.

Jisung greets his boyfriend as you and lia sit down on the leather couch.

Changbin is standing in front of the mirror, fixing his hair before his eyes lock with yours through the mirror, but he just diverts them to chan who’s grabbing a beer for hyunjin and himself, you guess.

“did you have to invite him?” changbin semi-whispers to the older one, nodding at hyunjin, chan just frowns confusedly,making changbin shake his head and walk out.

You look at hyunjin who is talking to minho and jisung, and doesn’t seem to have heard changbin. So, you get up to follow him out but lia holds your wrist “y/n you cant keep running after him” she hisses.

“he cant keep treating me like im invisible, I just want to clear the air” you free your arm and walk out to see changbin almost at the end of the corridor, walking out of a heavy door which, you think leads outside.

After reaching the door you open it to find him outside, leaning against the brick wall of the building, looking down at his phone.

The cold air hits your skin and you shiver, only wearing a top and some jeans since its warm in the club.

Changbin notices you and looks up “what do you want, y/n?” he asks.

“that was real classy back there” you comment, holding your arms to your body to preserve some warmth. Changbin huffs, unfazed as he looks back at his phone “whatever, y/n”

“no, not whatever bin” you step closer to him “he asked me to date him” his head shoots up and you lock eyes, for a second they are soft in the way they look into yours but something changes and they turn mean when he speaks again.

“so? that’s a you proplem” he shrugs.

“its not a problem at all, he’s sweet and loving and cares about me but for some reason im standing here, hoping that you’ll give me a reason to not be with him” you feel your throat closing up with anger mixed with confusion when he starts chuckling.

“you’re not serious are you?” he squints and your heart drops, tears pooling at your lashline.

“of course not, I couldn’t expect someone as stubborn and- and comunicationally incompetent like you to understand anything about feelings” you turn on your heels when a teardrop rolls down your cheek.

A hand wraps itself around your wrist, making you turn back “I’ve wanted to be with you since that moment in the club where you kissed me infront of all these girls. It was always you who was stubborn y/n, you never wanted to spend anymore time with me other than fucking” he snaps at you, taking a breather to start another sentence but you cut him off.

“-then why didn’t you say anything?” you ask quietly and he looks down.

“because- fuck” he lets go of your wrist “I didn’t want to scare you away, you in my bed was better than no you at all. But then fucking prince charming appears out of no where and sweeps you off your feet-”

“but I don’t want prince charming I want you” you blurt out, tears now streaming down your face, making him take a step back as his eyes soften.

“then why didn’t you say anything?” a small smile tugs at his lips as he closes the distance between you, gently running his hands up your arms, feeling the goosebumps brought on by the cold.

You huff, looking down and watching one of your teardrops melting a tiny hole into the snow before looking back up “because I’m stubborn and comunicationally incompetent” you sniffle “and stupid apparently” 

A grin spreads over changbins face as his hands cradle your cheeks, wiping your tears away with his thumbs “so, you wanna be stubborn and stupid together?” he whispers, locking eyes with you.

You press your lips together, trying to keep yourself from sobbing even more as you nod.

He chuckles softly ”you can stop crying now, baby” at which you nod beathing in shakily but smiling when he pushes some hair out of your face.

“can you kiss me now please” you sniffle whiningly, huffing in a laugh when he pulls a face.

“i dont know babe, you’re a little snotty right now-” he jokes.

“shut up” you hit him, chuckling when he pulls you even closer by your waist and gently connects his lips with yours.

A soft wind blows through your hair and you loop your arms around his neck even tighter, deepening the kiss at which he moans, holding your waist tighter to his body.

The door creaks open and “are you guys finally together?” minhos voice makes you break the kiss.

“yea” you grin when jisung comes out after his boyfriend.

“nice” he grins, nodding at you.

“yea yea nice, beautiful love whatever, hyung we’re up, lets go” jisung rambles, laughing and running back inside when changbin pretends to hit him, minho shaking his head and following him.

“you’ll watch me yea?” your boyfriend grins at you, taking your hand and planting a kiss on the back of it.

“from the front row, baby”

-

a/n: omg im finally done wth this took me so long yall, i started writing this sin september (which is why the fic starts in september as well lol) sorry about the winterly feelings i’m pushing onto you in the end but last week it literally snowed where i live so i was like uh?!?!?!? okay lets write some snowy shit, global warming ftw i guess....anyways i hope u liked it pls leave some feedback and/or ur favourite part ig lol i would appreciate it alot <33 (not proofred yet oopsie)

---

taglist: @kpopscape​ @oopsie-whats-this​ @zhaqifa​ @synnocence​ @changlix-mp4​ + some besties who always inspire me wether they know it or not😭 @bangtantaegi @hanflix @bruh-changbin @hyunyin @yyxgin @hyunsluvv @unstableskzstan @violethhj @missskzbiased @cartierbin @dom--minnie

[namjoon-koya]

Can I please have Mirio, Shinsou, Kirishima, and Bakugo reacting to their crush working at a maid cafe? She would be surprised to see them but she genuinely enjoys her job and serves them, minus the gropers and cat callers but if they touch or harass a maid, they get tossed out immediately (This is a “look but don’t touch” establishment). She just never felt the need to bring it up but she enjoys the cute uniform, taking selfies with customers who ask/pay, and is very sweet to both staff and customers so she’s popular.

(A/N: SKSK I’m glad I got this request in)

Trigger warning: reader getting catcalled + harassed. Cuss words? Please don’t read if you’re sensitive to those things.

It was a cute cat cafe (this boi loves cats alright😤) so he just went inside to check it out.

What he didn’t expect was to see you.. in a maid outfit (yes now his heart was beating quick) he expected you to run off when you saw him, but you smiled at him.

“Shinsou! What are you doing here?” You asked him.

oH gOd he couldn’t tell you because of the cats! It’s his secret..

“J-just wanted to check this place out..” he mumbled.

“Oh! Well I’ll take you to your table.” You said as you lead him to a table that was empty.

You gave him a menu before leaving to serve another customer.

He tried focusing on the menu, but he couldn’t help but just stare at you. Usually people dreaded having jobs yet.. you seemed to enjoy it even when costumers asked to take pictures with you, you’d smile and say sure.

When you were done you were going to go back to Shinsou until you heard someone whistle at you.

Your jaw clenched together this was the only thing you hated about this job people harassing you and whistling at you like some kind of dog! There were times you wanted to yell at them, but you bit back your tongue and proceeded to move on.

Until.. the person decided to get up and grab your arm and yank you back towards them.

“Hey I called you don’t fucking walk away from me.”

Once Shinsou saw what happened he quickly rose to his feet ready to save you, but your manager quickly came out “hey asshole! This is a look but don’t touch establishment! Don’t put your filthy hands on them.” Your manger uses their quirk to make the person let go of you.

Once your freed from the person’s grasp Shinsou quickly pulls you over to him shielding you.

Your manager kicks the person out and you sigh in relief “sorry you had to see that shinsou..” you apologize. “Don’t apologize that asshole shouldnt do stuff like that especially to you Y/N.” You blushed.

“T-thank you..” you were going to say more until your friend told you that a customer was requesting you “I-ill be right back!”

You didn’t even have time to return to Shinsou as some costumers kept requesting you asking you if you were fine and even offered to buy you something, but you kept denying their requests.

Once you finally made it back to Shinsou he chuckled “Y/N you’re very popular you know.. I’m not suprised considering how sweet you are.”

Stupid Kirishima he was the one that was dragging Bakugou to a dumb cafe he didn’t even want to go! He wanted to stay in his room or at least go work out not go to some cafe.

Entering the cafe Bakugou’s mood didn’t change until Kirishima whispered to him “Dude! Look it’s Y/N!” Now THAT caught Bakugou’s attention.

He quickly snapped his attention to where you were and oH my gOd did his face become red from blushing.

You were wearing.. a MAID OUTFIT?! Why?!

You heard a commotion from the entrance and when you looked over you saw Bakugou and Kirishima you smiled walking over to them “I never expected you guys to come here! Especially you Bakugou!” You teased.

“S-shut up.. Kirishima made me come..”

“Hm.. well follow me I’ll take you to your table.” You said grabbing two menus and lead them to an empty table you gave them the menus before leaving as your manager had told you a costumer was requesting you.

Bakugou continued to watch you as you went table to table often talking to some costumes to even taking selfies with them.

“Aw are you making sure no one messes with them Bakugou?” Kirishima teased “shut up! I’m just.. wondering why they’re so popular! That’s all!” Kirishima laughed “you aren’t jealous right?” “M-me?!” Before Bakugou could make a comeback at Kirishima he saw you talking to a man.. he oddly looked suspicious.

Even Kirishima became quiet and continued to watch with concern he could tell you were become uncomfortable as your body was tensing up what the hell is he saying to you? Bakugou wondered.

That’s when it happened the man had groped you, you slapped his hand away and quickly stumbled back.

Bakugou was enraged and so was Kirishima (your his friend he doesn’t want anyone to do that type of stuff to you especially without your permission)

“What’s wrong didn’t you like-“ he couldn’t finish his sentence as Bakugou had rushed over and grabbed the man by the collar of his shirt.

“What the fuck are you doing! Fucking pervert don’t ever lay your hands on them again!” Bakugo shouts your manager had quickly rushed over to the commotion “this is a look but don’t touch establishment and I will not take you harassing my employees!” Thankfully your manager called the cops after the whole incident.

Bakugou was still upset at the whole incident he can’t believe that some people are like that! “Bakugou are you okay?” You asked.

He sighed “shouldn’t I be asking you that? The fucking pervert did that to you!” He shouts angrily.

“I know.. but thank you for helping me back there if you weren’t there to grab him quickly he might’ve just ran off.” Bakugou blushed.

“I-if it makes you feel better dumbass I’ll always visit you when you have work so you don’t have to worry about things like that..”

He’s going to drag Kaminari to go with him LMAO (doubt he would complain though)

Kaminari is the first person to see you and he’s like “look Kirishima it’s Y/N!!” Once Kirishima turns his attention to you he BLUSHES that it almost matches his hair color.

You’re in a maid outfit and he’s freaking out in the inside.

You’re beautiful just absolutely stunning well you’re always stunning.. KiRi being a soft boi.

You greet them happily “you work here Y/N?” Kaminari asked “yup! It’s a really cool job y’know! Here I’ll take you guys to a table.” You said as you started walking they followed right behind you.

Kaminari was mostly doing all the talking while Kirishima was more quiet he was never a really shy person yet he was acting shy right now which irritated him a bit.

Once they got seated you gave them a menu “I’ll give you guys a few minutes to look over things.” You said leaving.

Kirishima kept his gaze down at his menu as he read the list of foods and drinks that you guys had, but then he heard Kaminari laugh “what’s funny?” Kirishima asked.

“Y/N is really popular ive already seen her take 4 selfies with different people.”

Well.. Kirishima wouldn’t be suprised you’re extremely loving and sweet..

Once you were done you were going to go back to Kirishima and Kaminari until you heard someone catcall you.

It made your stomach turn, but you decided to ignore him that’s what you usually did and sometimes they’d understand or mutter something offense under their breath.

This guest wasn’t though they quickly shot up from their seat and grabbed you arm “what the fuck I give you a compliment and you decide to ignore it? Spoiled b-“

You saw Kaminari come from the side and pry the person’s hand off your arm then you felt someone pull you back you looked up and saw Kirishima glaring at them you’ve never seen him.. so protective of you.

“Listen dude I’ve never been to a maid cafe before, but I do know that it’s a look but don’t touch establishment.” Kaminari said angrily.

One of your co-workers told the manager what happened and kicked the guest out and told them “never come back again asshole!”

Kirishima still had his arms wrapped around you protectively “uhm.. kiri.. it’s okay now.” You said trying to soothe him.

“I-I know.. I just can’t believe someone would do that to you Y/N. I’m sorry I didn’t protect you fast enough.”

“You’re here though.. so I’m happy for that kiri.”

Oh boy he takes Tamaki and Nejire with him because the big 3 always gotta hang out with each other 😤

Once they’re inside Mirio is busy talking with Tamaki that he doesn’t even notice that you were there until Nejire was look “Mirio look it’s Y/N! Doesn’t she look beautiful?” He looks over and sees you.

I feel like he wouldn’t be blushing at all and he’s going to be bold about it and be like “heck yeah look at you sunshine!” (You’re going to be the one blushing)

You take them to a table and talk for them a bit before handing them some menus and leaving.

Nejire and Tamaki were the only ones looking down at the menu while Mirio kept looking at you, he noticed how a lot of people seemed so comfortable talk with you and at least 7 people took pictures with you!

“Y/N is really popular isn’t she Mirio?” Nejire said.

“Y-yes she is..”

“Mirio! Did I just hear you stutter? That’s new! Mirio you should ask Y/N out after this y’know a little birdie told me she isn’t dating anyone.”

Yeah Nejire is definitely is trying to set you two up she did the exact same thing with you when you kept staring at Mirio.

While you were taking someone else’s order you could tell their eyes kept lingering you and it was started to become uncomfortable.. usually guests would look down at their menu or even just take one glance at you before looking down again.

Once you were done you were about to leave until they grabbed your arm you kept yanking your arm back, but their grasp were too strong you were about to yell for your manager until you saw someone grab the person’s hand and yanked it away making the person let go of yours.

You looked up and saw Mirio.. he was always known to not be angry and make calm decisions, but you could tell how angry he was in his eyes.

Nejire came beside you checking your arm “Are you alright Y/N?” “Y-yeah I should go get my manager.” You said leaving.

Even Tamaki looked scary he was always shy and nervous yet even he was glaring at the man.

Once you told your manager they were pissed they stomped over to the man “Listen here! This is a only look but don’t touch establishment! You harassed my employee and now you’re banned from coming here again.” Once they had kicked the person out of the cafe you let out a relief sigh.

“Are you alright sunshine?” Mirio asked.

“Y-yeah.. that was just so sudden I didn’t even see that coming.. thank you for saving me back there.”

Mirio nods “I wouldn’t let someone hurt you like that sunshine especially when I’m around.”

[vanillann]

flashback v (spencer reid x f.reader)

warning: swearing, mentions of crime, metaions of verbal and light abuse(nothing major i promise) and slow burn

word count: 1.8k

flashback masterlist

Penelope and I stood outside the steel doors of Star Chambers, both of us looking back at the black van parked a decent distance away.

“Okay, hit the blue button now,” Penelope spoke to the two men inside our ears, literally.

“Okay baby girl, you both stay safe in there.”

I went to open the door, Pen placed her hand over mine. I looked over at her counting out loud. After seeing said 10, she nodded to me to open the large door.

As soon as the doors opened, the light from outside flooded the dark room. Computers sat around the entire room, a small laughing sugar skull on each one.

Pen and I marched in, confidence in our walk. I felt like I was lying because there wasn’t a bit of confidence in me. Shane stood at the end of the room, his face morphing into a proud smirk.

The sound of Beyoncé played in the background, Pen and I stopped in front of Shane.

Suddenly Pen snapped her fingers and the doors behind us close. I forget how good at this shit we used to be.

Everyone in the room sat quickly, watching us from their seats. Suddenly Shane started clapping, his smirk growing as he walked closer to us.

“Wow, you lost weight.”

The first thing that Shane said to us and I was already going to knock his brains out.

“Nice one.”

Shane turned to look at me, his smirk growing larger which I didn’t think was possible.

“Little step-sissy hasn’t changed one bit, typical.”

“You wish I was typical.”

He turned back to Pen, walking closer so he was right in her face.

“Miss me?”

Pen paused, waiting a few seconds before she spoke.

“No.”

I felt my hand fly up to the end of the sweater, trying to remember the feeling of safety.

“Then prove it.”

Shane went to grab Pen chin, she started moving her face closer until she turned her head at the last second.

I didn’t move, but I was definitely doing a happy dance in my head.

She walked closer to a nearby hacker. As soon as she stood in front of him he stood up.

“I’m going to kiss you,” Pen spoke as she put her hands on either side of his face. He only smiled and nodded quickly.

She then gently placed her red lips on his, the sound of a light moan fell from his lips.

I suddenly felt bad for Morgan and Spencer, since they were closer to the action than I was and they weren’t even in the room.

She then forcefully removed her lips from the shorter boy, his face held nothing but bliss.

Shane tapped his foot, looking at the two un jealousy. I looked back at the two to see the hacker boy watching me closely.

“Not look at me, I’m not getting mono.”

I heard a loud cough in my ear but I ignored it, turned back to look at Shane.

Pen stood up straight, getting back into Shane’s face.

“Us three have a lot to talk about.”

Shane looked down at her lips before looking back into her eyes.

“Yes we do.”

I walked up to the two, throwing my arms over their shoulders.

“Then let's get to talking kiddos.”

Shane nodded his head, every hacker in the room left. I sat down in the chair the hacker boy Pen made out with just had. Once every one left Shane pulled up a seat while Open sat in one not far from me.

“Why’d you take the Sam Russell file?”

I didn’t waste any time, wanting nothing more than to be in the back of the van listening to Pen crazy metaphors and Spencer new facts. I wanted to hear Derek making fun of me in a sweater and plaid skirt.

“That stupid profile thing that you do was wrong.”

I felt myself roll my eyes, him looking at me like we used to when we were kids.

Those memories came flooding back quickly. The way we used to throw lamps at each other, brushing off as a basic sibling fight.

The way he used to look at me in my room until I “figured out how to stop being a brat”.

The way he used to playPen for everything that happened, then as soon as she started crying he took out his camera and recorded.

I felt myself pull harder on the yarn at the end of my jacket, my foot tapping on the stone floor.

“Just give us back the file,” I heard Pen yell, but she sounded so far away.

I felt the hairs on the back of my neck stand up, watching Shane quickly stand from the chair. I felt myself pull closer into myself, scared what might happen next.

“I refuse to work with the FBI,” Shane said, walking behind his desk.

“This isn’t about Sam Russell, this is about doing the right thing,” I spoke softly, the old me was taking over again.

“Shut up, the adults are talking,” Shane yelled, gripping onto one of the metal tables.

I wanted to hide, I wanted to run out of this room and into that black van outside.

“This is sure to give me a lot of flashbacks.”

I didn’t even think before the word fell out of my mouth, needing some familiarity to overthrow everything.

I heard shuffling my ear, and suddenly the sound of Spencer clearing his throat brought me back to reality.

“Did you know the only letter that doesn’t appear on the periodic table is J.”

I watched a Pen didn’t make any more or a reaction to Spencer speaking in my ear. I knew he must have shut it off so only I could hear, which made everything feel so much more intimate.

I smiled to myself, Spencer waiting for a sign to stop.

I whisper so quietly I didn’t think Spencer could hear, but once I heard a “anytime” I knew he understood.

“I took the file because your little friends missed almost everything, maybe like the silent partner.”

Shane spoke quickly, pointing his finger in between the both of us.

“We’ve already gone over that theory.”

I knew I was lying, I knew everyone threw that away as fast as it came through the door, but I also knew Shane was a narcissist and if I gave in, I could get somewhere.

“Bullshit sissy,” he gritted his teeth as he walked closer to me. I stood up from my chair, brought to him.

“You didn’t know shit about the inside killer, I know you couldn’t figure that out.”

Shane was swinging his hands all over the place, drawing pictures in the sky.

“You wouldn’t know, you’re stuck in an underground lair like you’re a Disney villain or something.”

Suddenly a hand grabbed my shoulder, pushing Shane and I away from each other.

“Can we all talk like normal people for a minute.”

Shane only nodded, walking to the other side of the room as me.

“How’s your birth dad doing?”

Pen looked him up and down, sympathy in her voice.

“He died seven years ago.”

I hated Shane, but I felt my heartbreak for him a little. I knew he loved his father, he meant a lot to him.

“I posted about it, neither of you said a word.”

I looked down at my flats, the guilt seating in quickly.

“When we both joined the FBI they told us we couldn’t have contact with you anymore,” Pen answered, placing a light touch to his arm.

“Then why didn’t you do it.”

Shane stepped back into her face, I felt myself walk closer to him.

“I got us caught,” I spoke, his eyes turning from her to me.

“You got caught? Come on I know we don’t get along but I know you are smarter than to get caught.”

I felt myself roll my eyes, the whole situation was getting to me again.

“I didn’t know the FBI would show up, they tracked Pen through my phone.”

“Actually, I went to the station,” Pen turned to me with soft eyes.

“Huh?”

Shane smirked while he looked me in the eye.

“She was too scared to stay with me so he ran after you, knowing she’d get caught.”

“I wanted a different life, I wanted my best friend and I to be able to do something that was illegal all the time.”

I felt myself laugh, the memories of everything we needed in those years were illegal, but we alway made it work.

“Well aren’t you both doing better, baby girl.”

I felt myself step back as she walked back to his desk.

“Oh and let’s not forget Mr. “Did you know”, I hope your kids don’t come out wearing sweater vests.”

I felt the anger boil inside me, the idea of him talking about Spencer made me want to go back to throwing laps.

“Shit.”

I heard Morgan's voice in my ear, the realization of everything was kicking in.

“It’s not like that, you don’t understand the phrase,” Pen was quick to jump at Shane, trying to make him understand.

“It’s a friendship, all of it was.”

I felt my heart break, even saying those words in a dangerous situation felt wrong.

“Oh I saw text, it seems the guy you both are sleeping with are miracle workers.”

Shane slammed his hands on the table in front, looking over both of us.

“Because he somehow broke the strongest and smartest woman I ever met in my life and ruined her.,” he said pointing his finger at Pen.

“And Mr. Smarty Pants managed to turn my sweet step-sister into a cold blooded bitch.”

“Oh you want to see a bitch,” I started marching to him before Pen grabbed my upper arm and held me in place.

“We aren’t sleeping with them.”

“Well then I guess you vandalized yourself, which is ten times worse.”

I felt Pen's grip tighten one my, her eyes from liking with tears.

“You aren’t the two I saw as my family.”

“You don’t treat people you see as family like shit, get it right.”

I turned around and stormed out the large building, the sun shining down on the thick sweater. I didn’t wait for Pen and I threw the back of the van open and sat on the bench.

I didn’t do anything as Morgan or Reid spoke to me, the anger building up inside me was too much. I saw Pen join us in the back of the van, her eyes overflowing with tears.

She closed the door behind her and fell into Morgan’s arms, he sobbing took the back of the van.

“You aren’t a bitch,” Spencer said gently from beside me.

“No I am, but that’s the exact trait that's going to let me catch this asshat.”

part iv part vi

cm tag list:

@itsarayofsunshine

flashback tag list:

@summer-writes @snitchthewitch @mortallythoughtfulgurl @l0ve-0f-my-life @101donuts @siwiecola @eldahae @hot-mess-express99 @itlittlefangirl @afuckingshituniverse @mollygetssherlockcoffee @tinylumpiaa @kermitsaysgayrights @matthewreid

[mother-snake]

cut you a piece

(oh boy! its been a hot second since ive posted a story... hope you enjoy! tell me if i need to tag somthing!)

tags: @idkanameatall warnings: angst, majour carachter death. tw self hurt, tw soup of slide. adult language words: 7488

-why was janus the way he is... and what can happen when you lose everything youve ever known.-

Janus, he was fucked up, and Romulus he was pureless. So of course they fell in love.

Self-preservation smiled as he sat next to Romulus. The two had known each other for around a week. Both of them had hit it off almost immediately. both of them not liked by the others. but they were okay with that, after all they had each other.

They were sitting there next to one another. Romulus was drawing something that had happened in the imagination. self-preservation was scribbling down names on a sheet of paper. He was yet to find one that he liked. It was difficult.

He let out a small sigh as he looked down at the note book that seemed filled with different names. None of them seemed right. he crossed out the ones that seemed to plain. The ones that were hard to pronounce.

“hey! Are you alright?” Romulus asked his friend.

Said side blinked. He hadn’t realised he had begun to cry. “I’m fine,” he said as he rubbed the tears out of his eyes.

Romulus picked up the book and read some of the names. A small grin on his face as he kept reading. “what about Janus?” he said finally as he put down the notebook in his lap. “that’s a girl’s name though,” self-preservation pouted. “no! j-a-n-u-s. as in the god of half-truths!” he cheered at the scaled side.

He pondered this name for a couple seconds. Slowly a warm smile lit up his face as he looked at Romulus. The smile becoming infectious along with the happiness rolling of him. “okay then! Janus it is,” he said with a wide smile, “don’t tell the others though. Shh!” whispered. “okay,” Romulus whispered back.

Both of them giggled as they leaned their heads on one another. both of them completely content with what little they had.

Because to them…each other was enough.

Romulus let Janus know what was wrong with him. And Janus stopped using, and binging, and pissing his whole life away.

Romulus wasn’t happy with any of the sides. When he got the chance, he would bash them over the head with his shield.

Why? I hear you asking. Right now, Janus was crying into his shoulder. Tears set off by their reaction to what he had hoped to never happen.

His once bleach white scales had changed to what he considered a pretty yellow. Sunflower yellow. he held his Janus close. The two of them had been dating since Janus’s second month of creation. Both of them had never gone anywhere without the other nearby.

Not that either minded. They actually found peace in knowing where the other was in these times.

“Janus? Its okay, you’re okay… they can’t hurt you as long as I’m here. Okay?” “I know…” he got in response as Janus sniffed.

He looked up to Romulus with red puffy eyes. The anger in Romulus’s stomach swelled. “let’s give them a visit, shall we my sunflower?” Romulus said slyly as he held out his arm.

Janus let out a small laugh and looped his arm around Romulus’s. said side pulled the other closer. “no, I wouldn’t like that,” he smiled widely.

But before they could get to the door there was a sharp knock at the door of creativity’s door. They looked at one another before Romulus ushered Janus behind himself.

“Romulus? De- self-preservation?” oh morality. “we need you guys quick! There’s a new side here!” he yelled, his voice both a mix of concern and excitement.

They looked between one another. There hadn’t been a new side since Janus appeared. And that had been apparently very unexpected.

Both of them ran next to each other as the door burst open. Romulus mildly confused on how Janus could run so easily in heel shoes. Janus was just focused on the fact there was a side with the light sides.

Scared that he would be treated the same way he and Romulus were. when they arrived, they stopped and stared at the side that hissed at logic like a cat. “I’m sorry, did you just hiss at me?” logic asked looking flabbergasted at the new side.

A wide smile grew on Janus’s face as he let out his own hiss. Grabbing the attention of the new side. the small child looked up to Janus who gave another small hiss. a hiss this time was directed at him. This one wasn’t as animalistic. But more friendly.

Janus and Romulus nodded to one another and held out their hands. the small child ran into their arms. “welcome to our dysfunctional family,” Janus mumbled as he hugged the smaller form.

And Janus told Romulus he'd die for him, Which looking back, was the right thing to say.

Janus sat there listening to music blaring from cautions room. Him and the newest addition, wrath, had gotten into another argument and it wasn’t pretty. He had witnessed the end of it.

He was positioned at the side of Virgil’s door. Waiting for the other to calm down. He hoped they would. “hey, you okay there?” Romulus asked.

Janus let out a sigh, “I’m alright. Just waiting for the two small hatchlings to calm down. It may take a while by the sounds of it,” he chuckled. “I think Thomas starting high school is getting the best of them.” He said.

“yeah… I can tell,” Romulus said, hiding his hand in his pocket; He could tell the other later. Romulus smiled and kissed his cobra on the head before turning around. “hey, Romulus? Id cut you a piece of me,” he said slowly, almost singing. “what?” “id cut you a piece of me, and where you go, I will go too. Yes… I’m now a part of you,” he smiled. Romulus felt tears pouring out of his eyes as he surged forwards and hugged Janus tightly around the shoulders. “how long?” Janus muttered into his shoulder. “a couple years at best. But no longer I’m afraid…” he muttered into Janus’s shoulder.

They didn’t do anything but hold each other. Romulus knew lying to his queen wouldn’t work. It never did. And as self-preservation. Something like this was bound to become loose. With or without him saying anything.

“I am now a part of you,” Romulus muttered.

I cut you a piece of me, I cut you a piece of me. And where you go, I will go too. Yes, I am now a part of you

They laughed as they sat around the screen. A movie had been chosen by Patton. but one was caught up in their thoughts. Not much had changed since everyone had found out that Romulus wouldn’t be around for long. and that made Janus feel things he didn’t want to feel. He tried his best to repress everything he was feeling. He knew it was causing him harm.

He found himself snapping at the kids and others more. he was scared. He was going to lose his best friend. Nothing else seemed to matter more at that moment.

“hey, sunflower,” Romulus said calmly as he wrapped an arm around Janus. Janus felt himself sobbing as his lover held him close. He buried his head in his chest. this had been the first time any of the others had seen Janus cry in front of them.

Romulus held Janus close. He was the only one who knew that this was almost a daily occurrence now. He didn’t want to leave his queen behind. If he could stop what was happening. He would. But there was very little in his power

Romulus pulled Janus closer. He wouldn’t leave Janus like this. He wanted to go out with a bang. And that’s exactly what he would do. “marry me,” he said as Janus slowly began to calm down. “what?” Janus asked shocked. “marry me,” Romulus said again, “I’ll be honest I would have waited till Thomas left high school. But with things going on now. Now is never a better time- “ “yes…” Janus said before wrapping his arms around Romulus’s neck ad pulling him close and into a kiss.

The lights looked at the two love birds wondering how they could have been so cruel to the both of them for so long…

Caution and wrath cheered at the scene in front of them. God, they had been close to forcing the two turtle doves to marry. They were perfect for one another.

But perfection doesn’t last. that was something they learned the hard way…

Janus and his romulus, got married in his temple, Cause they calculated,

The wedding was by no means small. they had it in the imagination. Something that had been a surprise when Romulus had offered to have it there.

It seemed everyone in the imagination knew of the event. and as soon as he had entered it seemed as if everyone knew who he was. the whispers of him becoming Romulus’s second hand was a surprise. But he guessed that was understandable with Remus being king creativity.

Laughter rung in the air as people danced and children played. Each person swelled with so much joy and happiness that their king had found someone to stay at his side. if only they knew…

Janus and Romulus sat on chairs at the very front of the castle. The party being outside to make room for everyone there.

“thank you,” a young boy whispered to Janus as Romulus stood up to talk to someone. “may I ask what for?” he said slyly getting a smile out of the young boy. “for making the king so happy!” he cheered. “I should be thanking him for making me so happy,” Janus said, “I don’t know where I’d be without my king,” he chuckled as he ruffled the young boys hair.

“would you care for a dance?” the young boys eyes lit up like stars and he almost dragged Janus by the arm and into the crowd.

Romulus spotted him from the crowd and let out a hearty laugh as he spotted his sunflower. Giving and encouraging wink. Janus stuck out his tongue in response.

The people around laughed as they watched their two rulers, their hearts warming knowing that the kingdom was in safe hands.

But… alas… time was slowly running out.

That Jules was more Jewish than Jessie was Catholic. Jules mother was pleased.

Janus knew that Romulus was slowly becoming weaker. Spending more time in his room than anywhere else. the two spent the winter curled up around one another. Glued to each other’s side. Christmas had been an event and a half. With Janus and Romulus teaming up and decimating the others in a snowball fight. Janus ended up getting a cold that very afternoon. But he was okay with that.

Valentines day had been spent handing roses to the people of Romulus and now Janus’s kingdom. hand in hand they had become something that neither thought could happen.

And then it began… his hair had slowly begun to turn grey… it was small at first. Just small strands here and there. He also found himself struggling to pick up heavy things that he could have picked up easily before.

Janus found himself glued to Romulus. then one day they found themselves wondering the streets of the city. People smiled and waved at the two of them happily. Greetings were shared and smiles returned.

It had been a perfect day so far. The sun was blazing down on Janus. Warming his scales perfectly. His cold bloodedness often caused him issues.

then everything seemed to go slow motion.

“hey… sweetheart… why is everything spinning?” he muttered. “my king nothing- Romulus!” he yelled as he caught his lover as his knees buckled and gave out below him.

He felt his breathing picking up as he laid Romulus gently to the ground. Everything else was forgotten.

Black streaks rose from his neck. Half of his right cheek was covered in the almost inky looking patches. Janus was panicking internally. But keeping as calm as possible on the outside. “come on sweetie… you’re going to be okay… let’s get back to the castle…” no one around said a thing. everyone worried for their king and queen who had only been married for five months.

Janus knew time was running short. He just didn’t know how short it would be.

Married six months, when on route 87, Janus turned quickly,

Janus didn’t leave Romulus’s room unless necessary. Virgil and Orpheus bringing him meals as he sat by his lovers’ side. His face now almost completely covered in the blackness that seemed to make him look like a void.

Janus hadn’t spoken very much. Romulus had looked at Janus with so much joy every time he woke up. small snippets of his memory disappearing daily. but never forgetting Janus. It seemed like him mind couldn’t forget him. And he was fine with that. It would be nice to remember his lover at his final moments.

Janus had been startled out of his thoughts when Romulus reached a hand out and nudged Janus. “yes Romulus?” “can I see them? One last time?” he asked his eyes weak and barely focusing. “…okay…” Janus said, trying to keep himself together.

He scooped Romulus up into his arms. It scared him how light his king was. he looked over to the face of Romulus that was almost hidden by his growing hair that was so dark now it almost matched his skin.

“let’s go, my love.”

In a beaten mitsubishi, killed romulus in a crash. A marriage begun and ended,

He walked through the streets. Barely keeping himself together as silent tears poured down his face.

The people moved out of their way, bowing their own heads. Tears streaking down their faces as they looked on in mourning.

When they arrived at the main balcony of the castle, facing where the sun had always set. and there it was, going down over head.

Romulus had his head in Janus’s lap. A weak smile on his face as he looked at the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. “I cut you a piece of me…” he sung. “Romulus?” Janus’s voiced cracked. “I cut you a piece of me… and where you go, I will go too. Yes… I’m now a part of you,” he sung weakly. “I’m now a part of you.  From now on I’m half a soul, without you I can't be whole, “Janus sung back. tears pouring out of his eyes. “oh you are the start of me…”

Romulus smiled as he looked at the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. His sunflower looking at him with a simile and love in his eyes. “goodbye my queen,” he whispered. “goodbye my king,” Janus choked out.

Janus cried out loudly in pain as he felt Romulus go limp in his arms. Wails of despair filled the air. the people below heard the cries of sorrow and tried to block out the gut-wrenching noise that seemed to cause everyone else to cry for the loss of their young king.

Everyone lined the streets. Holding red and green lanterns in their hands before sending them to the sky. Each one holding a small message written on the inside. Hoping that maybe it would reach their king.

Janus saw the lanterns flood the skies and smiled ever so slightly. He wouldn’t be alone. He had everyone here… but. No… he wouldn’t. no. he couldn’t return.

Romulus had long since faded. Leaving only his cloak and crown behind. a warm smile on Janus’s face. he had left his cape behind. He had always been forgetful.

He flung the caplet over his shoulders and stood up removing the crown that rested on his brow and placed it next to Romulus’s.

“goodbye my love… perhaps we may meet again in another life…”

With broken glass. His life was scattered, and soon was her ash

Janus looked dead. That was the first thing Virgil realised when Janus left Romulus’s room.

Virgil still couldn’t help but ask, “how is he?” Janus couldn’t look Virgil in the eyes, “he’s in a better place now,” he said weakly. Virgil surged forwards within seconds. Wrapping his arms around his pops. He himself didn’t know how to feel. He had never been overly close to Romulus like self-preservation had.

But he knew now more than ever that he was needed. And he swore to himself that in that moment. He would stay and protect his pops from anything that would come their way. “come, would you like me to tell the others?” Virgil asked.

Janus could only nod. Not trusting himself to say the wrong thing. it was then that he realised that Janus was waring Romulus’s cape. Heh. His dad had always been forgetful. But a small part of him knew that it had been deliberate.

The walk seemed daunting to Janus. This was one of the few times he had been anywhere without Romulus by his side. but now? There would be no one. Just himself it seemed despite the fact he knew he had his children by his side.

He felt the silent tears pour down his face. but he didn’t care.

Then he heard laughter. Virgil gave a small smile and walked ahead of his father.

There at the living room table was Logan, Patton and Orpheus. All eyes turned to the two of them. “how is he?” Patton asked.

Janus felt himself shaking as he pulled the caplet closer. Had the mind palace always been this cold?

“he…” Virgil began, “he passed away.” no one said a thing. As there was nothing to say… Patton felt something in his chest tighten. He could feel the amount og grievance coming of Janus. He was surprised the other was holding himself together. Logan… well. He didn’t know what to do. There was no logical way to help Janus unless he could find a way to bring Romulus back. Orpheus stared at Janus. Stared at his pops who was now widowed. He knew this would be a hard take on everyone. But this would be devastating on Janus’s behalf.

The silence stretched onwards. No one could say anything it seemed. but Janus couldn’t take it anymore. The silane wasn’t something he was used to. So, he took a couple steps away from the group, turned around and bolted to his room. The cries of everyone behind him were ignored as he closed his door.

He locked it and felt himself sink to the ground. his eyes darted around his room. He wanted to be safe. He didn’t like the cold he was feeling. He wanted to be held and have someone at his side.

He laid down on his bed, ignoring the pounding that came from outside the door and slipped under the covers. Holding the caplet as close to himself as possible. maybe if he had waited another couple hour’s, he would have met the two new sides… but, right now. Weather he knew it or not. He needed the sleep. and for the first time in forever he fell asleep, exhausted from crying. But that was okay… he would get used to the empty feeling eventually.

He may have wanted Romulus… but he knew he wasn’t coming back.

I cut you a piece of me, I cut you a piece of me. And where you go, I will go too. I lost my life when I lost you.

It had been a month. Janus barely spoke. But when he did it was always in lies. he had made them forget. He had made them believe that the twins had been there the whole time. He felt like he had betrayed Romulus. but it was for the best.

“hello my dear snake face!” creativity one cheered as he saw Janus walking to the kitchen. Janus let out a wince. He hated it when jabs were sent to his scales. “what don’t you want creativity?” he glowered. “come now, why do you refuse my name?” creativity said. Janus couldn’t respond but kept walking. Trying his best to ignore the other side. Janus froze as creativity 1 kept taking, “listen. Can you just not leave me alone. I don’t need my space,” he snapped at the red sashed side.

Roman seemed taken back by the words but his features softened, “very well my dear snake, I bid you farewell!” and as quickly as he was there. he was gone.

Janus sighed as he made his way down the quiet hallway. He knew that the others were trying to give him space, not knowing anymore why his mood had shifted so dramatically. from happy to so sad that Patton could barely spend five minuets in the same room as him before he accidentally starts to cry from the overwhelming sadness coming from him.

He looked blankly onwards towards the kitchen. He was after another bottle of wine. It helped numb the pain. he knew Romulus would have slapped him on the head by now and told him to tone it down with the spicy grape juice. But… well. He wasn’t.

And things hadn’t been going well to put it simply. ever since the twins arrived. he knew it was only a matter of time before the place split into two. And he knew that when it happened things would only get more difficult. Especially if he was stuck with one of the twins.

Don’t get him wrong. He loved the two to pieces. But it hurt to see them every day. So much of Romulus was in them it hurt to look at. roman had Romulus’s eyes and Remus had his chaotic personality.

Maybe if they hadn’t reminded him so much of his lost love, he would not need to cry himself to sleep, or hold up the illusion that he was okay. but he needed to stay strong. That was a fact he needed to keep up.

However, things wouldn’t be so normal anymore. Not after today. he was aware of yelling coming from the Livingroom. the same direction roman had gone in. but he didn’t think much of it…  that was until he entered the room however and froze. Orpheus was yelling at roman who looked ready to rip his head off.

“so what? At least he cares about us!” Orpheus yelled. “deceit is nothing but a lair and you know it!” roman yelled back, “he’s plotting something against us all. Why else the sudden mood shift?”

Janus stared at roman from his spot by the door. His chest aching from the words that had fallen from his mouth.

Then he felt nothing. Just an empty place where everything other emotion should have been. he stared blankly in his direction. “don’t worry creativity. You won’t be seeing much of me for a long time,” he said sharply before turning around and walking away.

Roman said nothing in response. Instead just looked at the spot where the side had been.

Orpheus shoved roman to the floor and spat next to him. “if you come near any of us again. I WILL put your head on a pike,”

That was the last time for years that he would see either side. and dinner that day would be the last time he would see Virgil and his brother. both deciding that it wasn’t worth staying with people who didn’t care.

And thus, the divide happened. No one would realise until the morning. With a single door cutting both sides away from each other.

Yeah you loved someone so much. That to lose them is to never recover,

It had been a month. Virgil, Remus and Orpheus were gathered in the Livingroom on the floor playing monopoly. No one seemed to be close to winning. Each side cheating in their own way.

Janus sat on the couch with a glass of wine. He watched blankly. Not saying a single word. He hadn’t spoken since roman had taken the major jab at him.

He glared at the cup in hand. He hated repressing his feelings. And normally wine would work… but he guesses his tolerance had built up greatly.

He let out a sigh and drooped his shoulders. He closed his eyes and felt the cold wave wash over him. Then there was nothing inside of him. He opened his eyes and looked over to the dark sides who glanced over at him. they knew what he had just done. But they had stopped trying to stop him a long time ago.

“still don’t know why you enjoy repressing your feelings,” Remus said, “repression never works,” “I know…” Janus whispered back. the entire mini group froze, their eyes snapping to Janus. “I just need to feel numb sometimes… its better than feeling what I feel…” he said as he looked at them.

It felt like the first time they had seen him properly since the door was put in place. his eyes looked almost dead. His once pale yellow scaled had become a dirty gold, pecks of brown mixed in.

He let out a short sigh before standing up and walking away. A hand rested itself upon his shoulder but he simply shrugged it off and continued on his way. he had work to get done. God knows what the light sides were getting Thomas to do.

Virgil looked at Janus as he left the room with wide eyes. Janus’s cold emotionless gaze imprinted in his mind. he wanted to know what had happened to his pops over the past six months. He had changed…he had changed so much and it scared him.

Remus looked at where Janus was and glanced down at his hands. had it been his fault Janus was like this? Did he himself do something or was it something worse?

Orpheus couldn’t look in their direction. He hated being able to do nothing. Especially when his pops was in such a state. It sent spikes into his heart. Yeah, he knew what it was like to have emotions you didn’t want. It sucked.

But at least all three of them would be there to help him.

You've given part of your being to them and when they Go, you can never have it back you can never have it back.

Janus was starting to panic. And that was an understatement. Ever since Virgil had revealed himself, he was slowly spending more time with the light sides. It had gotten to the point where Janus was only seeing him early in the mornings or late at night.

Every time they talked it always ended with an argument. Orpheus or Remus would have to break them up sometimes.

That’s how Janus found himself. Cradling himself in his bed. Wrapped in his blanket. Tears pouring down his face as his right eye was closed shut. An ice pack held closely to his eye. it was black and purple. Punched by someone with pure anger.

Orpheus had sided with Virgil. And he would be lying if he said he didn’t feel so lonely. It felt like that day all over again. Maybe the pain came from the fact it was supposed to be Romulus’s birthday today.

Maybe that’s why he snapped at the both of them. He regretted everything that had slipped out of his mouth during their yelling match.

His eyes glanced over to the bowler hat sat at the table.

“eh, hats aren’t really my thing you see,” Romulus said as he looked at Janus. “but why are you giving it to me of all people?” Janus asked curiously looking at a blushing Romulus. “its been a year since we’ve known each other. I thought it would be nice to get you something.” “but… I didn’t get you anything!” Janus said woefully. “I’ve got you! that’s all I need!” Romulus said as he playfully punched Janus’s arm.

Janus looked away and stared at the grey sheets covering him. Wincing as the ice pack sent spikes of pain into his injury.

God, what would Romulus say if he were here… he wondered who’s side he would take.

Three small knocks sounded from his door. “come in,” he said smally.

The door creaked open to reveal a rather shy Remus. Janus felt a wave of guilt spread through his soul. The poor thing never knew what to do in these kinds of situations. “come here,” he muttered as he patted the space next to him.

Remus gave a smile and made his way over. Tucking himself next to Janus. The scaled side wrapped an arm around the smaller side, holding him close. “deceit?” Remus said. “mph,” he hummed back. “I’m sorry,” he said.

Janus glanced to Remus with a raised eyebrow. “I’m sorry. I know you’re going through a difficult patch right now… I can feel your destructiveness coming of you. I don’t know why you’re like this. But if ever you need to talk… I’m here. Even if I can be fucking weird about it.”

Janus felt the tears beginning to fall once again. at least he still had Remus he guessed. “Janus,” he whispered as he looked to a rather shocked Remus. “what?” “my name… its Janus.”

Remus looked at Janus with wide eyes. He had never known his name. he was pretty sure no one knew his name until this second. “you can’t tell the others. please,” Janus said. “I promise,” Remus said with a sharp nod.

The two stayed like that for what felt like forever until Janus fell asleep in Remus’s embrace. the intrusive side was almost surprised to see Janus looking so peaceful as he slept.

Had this really been how he had once been? His memory was blurry. Not all there, and sometimes he could swear he didn’t do half the things his mind had told him he did.

And for some reason. He felt like he had never seen… Janus… so calm. So… dare he say; peaceful.

 I haven't thought of Jules, or Jessie, Or their story in the better part of a year.

Janus was slumped against the wall as he stared at where Virgil and Orpheus’s doors should have been. An empty bottle of wine sat by his side. god… he really was a fuck up. wasn’t he? He couldn’t keep himself in check. Relying on numbing himself with drink or his own power.

“hey… you okay there?” Remus asked Janus. a memory struck him sharply in the chest. why did he have to look so much like Romulus?!

He turned his head back to the wall. Glaring at where the door should have been. he didn’t want to have any memories right now. It would only cause him to cry once again. It seemed to be the only thing he had done for the past week. Waiting and praying that his children would come back…

But he knew that it wouldn’t happen. He had lost almost everything… Romulus…Orpheus…Virgil…his happiness… his love for things…his ability to feel.

The last thing he had was Remus. And that felt like its own personal hell. Don get him wrong. He had grown to love the side like his own child. But when he looks at him now? All he sees Is a young Romulus with a moustache.

He couldn’t look at him anymore. He couldn’t feel anymore. He didn’t want to continue like this… “don’t think like that,” Remus growled, snapping Janus out of his own mind. “you’re supposed to be self-preservation correct? Then help Thomas. Get out of the shadows you’ve trapped yourself in. or at least find a healthier distraction. For god’s sake, go and piss off my brother!” Remus yelled hysterically. “fucking get of the floor and tell me how to help you!”

Janus stared at Remus. Help Thomas? Would it really be a good idea… unless… “I have an idea? But I need your help,” Janus said.

A small spark lighting up in his eyes. Remus grinned as he looked at the deceitful side. He didn’t think he had seen the side looking almost excited about anything.

“what do you need?” “morality’s old outfit. If Thomas really wants to make a fool of himself, I would know… lets sort that out.”

Remus held out a hand and Janus took it. “well, for starters… his name is Patton. Logic is Logan as well. You ought to know that if you’re going to get away with this…”

Yeah… he didn’t need much. but Remus was enough for now. And that was okay.

But warming your hands in mine fills me with terror, That I will lose you, today, or tomorrow, in two years, or seventy.

Janus was beyond frustrated. What would it take for them to listen to him!? he had been trying his best to get the others to finally listen to him. God damn it he even tried his own way at the court room to get their host to listen to him. But of course, he was the villain. He was always the fucking villain.

“hey Janus guess what I found-“Remus said as he skipped into his room before freezing.

He had spent the past couple hours in the imagination. So, it was only reasonable that he wouldn’t know what was happening. That didn’t stop him from worrying and rushing over.

“sorry, I shouldn’t be crying over something like this…” “don’t apologise for having fucking feelings,” Remus said as he patted Janus’s shoulder.

They sat quietly next to each other. Neither said anything or a while. Just basking in each other’s company.

It was reaching the half an hour mark when Janus remembered. “why where you here again?” “oh right!” Remus grinned before reaching into his leather bag. Janus would never nor would he want to know what that bag was made of… that didn’t stop him from having suspicions though. “here they are!”

Janus felt himself lose his breath. “I found them in the ruins of some old castle, pretty cool right?”

Two matching silver crowns laid in Remus’s lap. One imprinted with a sword and shield. The other with his own symbol. The snake’s eyes however being a single ruby and emerald. “I guess you have questions?” Janus said in what was barely an audible whisper. “you bet your fucking ass I want answers. Tell me everything, and don’t think of lying to me Janus.”

He reached out and cradled the crown in his hand, took a deep breath. And began to recall everything he had tried so hard to repress over the past three years. Coming onto four. Remus listened closely. Taking in everything Janus said. Thoughts and feelings swarmed his mind and body.

But he couldn’t make himself angry. No matter how hard he tried. As Janus was sitting by his side. Smiling and laughing and looking years younger than he had looked in well… forever.

“he left and I broke. No matter how hard I tried. I couldn’t be happy without him there,” Janus said as he looked over to Remus.

the green coloured side looked at Janus. Both had tears in their eyes. “is that why you couldn’t look at me for so long? Because I reminded you of him?” he said, voice cracking. “yeah… god between you and roman, you really looked like him. And it hurt. But… I guess I just needed to get over it, like a wall I suppose. The first couple times can be hard, but you’ve just got to keep pushing forwards,” Janus said.

He looked down to the crown in his hands. he gestured for Remus to take it from his hands. “no,” Remus said as he laid the other crown in Janus’s lap, “they mean far more to you than me.”

For the first time in a long time… Janus was at peace. Sure, things were far from fine.  God knows it couldn’t be worse. But right now? He was content with just having Remus.

“If you have any more questions… ill be happy to answer them.

When even the Earth has numbered days. I can give just one thing that stays.

he fucked up. there standing in front of him was a teary-eyed Remus… oh god… what the fuck had he done. “do you really think I’m evil?” Remus said as tears poured down his face. “Remus- “Janus said as he reached out an arm. he flinched back as Remus summoned his mace. He held it in his hands. malic filled his eyes. he took a couple steps back. “follow me. and I won’t hesitate,” Remus said as he made his way over to the door that split the mind palace.

“Remus please. I’m sorry. Please. I can’t lose you too… please- “ “maybe you should have been more careful deceit,” Remus snarled before opening the door and slamming it behind himself.

Janus felt himself crumple to the ground; he didn’t know how much he was shaking. He didn’t care that he could barely breath.

He was alone… it was cold… there was no one. He was no one… nothing mattered. he felt nothing.

He wanted his king…he wanted someone to tell him he was okay. He wanted someone to look at him and tell him to get a grip.

he wanted Virgil… but he wouldn’t forgive him… he wanted Orpheus… but he would never trust him… he wanted Remus… but he would never look at him again… he wanted Romulus… but he knew he was never coming back…

and as he cried himself to sleep on the floor…. He had never felt more like a monster.

I cut you a piece of me, I cut you a piece of me. For where you go, I will go too. I am now a part of you.

Janus winced as the metal slid over his skin. Small trickles of ruby red fell from his arm like red stained tears. Screaming from his skin told him to stop. but he couldn’t.

He had been alone for a couple months now. It was an hour away from midnight. Signifying the death of his lover. he wanted a hug. He wanted someone to hold him as he cried.

What he wanted he didn’t deserve. He was the villain. He was the monster in the closet. and it was fine. At least he was something. Even if it hurt…

He hadn’t been summoned in such a long time. It had been the barely less since he had seen another side. he was scared that they had forgotten about him. Some nights, like today, he could hear laughter coming from the other side. And that was enough for him to know he wasn’t wanted.

They were fine without him. maybe it would be better to go completely. Joining Romulus instead of staying where he wasn’t wanted.

The empty wine bottles that were around him no longer were able to do their job.

He shook as the cold air froze his skin. It had been a while since he had turned the thermostat down. He deserved it though.

The thought of being able to see Romulus filled his head. He would be lying if he said he wasn’t feeling slightly giddy at the thought. Getting to see his best friend of so many years once again, but for eternity.

A small weak laugh filled the air as Janus stood up and made his way over to his room. He looked down at the bowler hat that sat neatly at the end of his bed.

He picked it up and dusted it off before placing it on his head. Trying his best to ignore the shiny objects that rested in their own cases in the back of the room.

The only question was where. Where would he go to do this? an idea struck him in the chest… yeah… that would be perfect… all he needed was to make a plan. no letters were needed, the others wouldn’t care enough to wonder where he had gone.

From now on I’m half a soul, without you I can't behold. So cut me a piece of you, Cut me a piece of you, and where I go, you'll always be.

It had been a struggle, trying to sneak into the imagination. But it had been much harder to find what he was looking for.

The buildings were broken. Barely standing. Vines and shrubbery grew out of cracks. It broke his heart to see that this is what had become of his kingdom. he thought once that it would stand forever. But nothing ever did. Did it?

Janus chuckled as memories filled his mind.

The streets him and Romulus would wonder for hours, talking and smiling with their subjects. the town square where he had danced at every Halloween with everyone around him. A wide smile on his face.

The castle grounds where he had danced wit the young boy who had thanked him for looking after their king. he wondered what that boy was doing… was he still alive? Was he dead?

Then the castle came into view, it wouldn’t be long now. the sun slowly had begun to set. The golden huge filling the sky like it knew what was going to happen. As if it were saying a final goodbye. He felt tears swell in his eyes.

Only five minuets later, he was standing on the weather-beaten balcony that had the perfect view of the city below.

And then he choked out a sob as ghostly figures, white wisps of phantoms filled the streets. Each holding a lantern before sending them up and up into the sky.

They shone like small red, green and yellow stars…

He looked down to the small bottle in his hand. He popped the lid open and drank its contents… he would be okay… he would see Romulus again. He lowered himself to the ground. Lying face up and staring at the sky flooded with fake stars.

And slowly his vision became blurry. “I cut you a piece of me, I cut you a piece of me. For where you go, I will go too I am now a part of you. From now on I’m half a soul, without you I can't be whole.” He sang weakly into the air…

“oh you are the start of me,” a voice sung back clearly. a sob left Janus with a smile on his face… he was home.

Romulus held out a hand. he took it without hesitation. Being pulled into a hug and very quickly a kiss. warmth, love and happiness flooded him as happy tears poured down both their faces. “hello my queen,” Romulus said as he looked at Janus with eyes filled with longing. “hello my king,” Janus said before bursting into tears.

So, cut me a piece of you, Cut me a piece of you, and where I go, you'll always be. Oh, you are the start of me, Oh, you are the start of me

“are you sure this is the right way?” Virgil asked concerned. “hell yeah emo-bitch!” Remus said excitedly.

He was taking them to see the lights that had begun in this area since well…forever. Always at the same time. Every year on the same day.

“I feel bad were not bringing Janus,” Patton said. “that asshole? Fuck him,” Orpheus growled.

Virgil paused for a brief second. Glancing at the castle. “hey… I think someone’s over there,” a figure outlined by the lowering sun stood on the balcony. it struck Remus quickly as to who it was. he felt himself filling with anger that seemed to plant deeply in his chest.

But… then it seemed to split in two. There was a figure standing next to Janus. And a song filled the air.

They all seemed to be thinking the same thing as they surged forwards. Bolting to the castle, hoping they were wrong as repressed memories filled their minds.

And then they stopped. Each one of them shaking as they saw the unmoving body of self-preservation lying on the ground. his eyes glazed over and his chest unmoving.

Two shadowy figures danced in each other’s embrace as they laughed. Peppering kisses on each other. a warm and sad feeling filled their chests.

This was the first time in years that most of them had seen Janus smiling. And he was in his lovers embrace.

“goodbye Janus,” Patton said as he waved over. “cya, on the other side Jan,” Virgil said… silent tears poured down his face. Logan gave a sharp nod and a small smile. Remus and roman gave a small wave. Not trusting themselves to speak. “take care of pops dad,” Orpheus muttered, his voice cracking as he did so.

“goodbye,” Janus’s voice echoed in their minds as the shadowy figures faded away. Smiling and holding one another with wide smiles.

Oh, you are the start of me

[scatter-kinnin-patter]

YOU WANT MORE COMABUR MEMORIES??? IVE GOT MORE COMABUR MEMS FOR YA!!!

A continuation of this post because I've been digging around and the memories are coming back more and more! Mostly pre-dsmp and S2, S3 is still mostly a blur to me b u t! Under the cut~

So I'll start with some pre-dsmp memories of mine. So as a refresher, my canon had Phil as my dad, Techno as my twin but older by a few minutes, and Tommy as our little brother. I don't remember our mom, though I know we always joked about Philza and the fridge XD I think Tommy was our half-brother, and had a different mom than Tech and I? Still a bit fuzzy on that.

I mentioned how my Tech was a piglin-human hybrid, while I was more "human with very few piglin traits". One thing I remember though was I actually had naturally pink hair that matched Techno's, but I dyed it brown and often wore my beanie to hide when my roots were coming in. I'll explain more why I did this later.

I remember pre-dsmp, I grew up in another smp. SMP's kinda... worked like varying realms one could teleport between? The teleportation was difficult though so there was rarely anyone who'd frequently swap between smps. But I grew up in Earth SMP's Antarctic Empire! Phil raised Techno and I, and later we had Tommy with us too! I remember it was always cold, but in our castle and fortress it was much warmer. Techno, being Techno, was extremely skilled in combat and strategy and Phil took him under his wing(hah!) as the technical heir to the throne and taught him everything he'd need to know about conquest. Me, I preferred teaching myself diplomacy, fighting wars with words rather than with blood. For a time this worked actually, Techno and I really balancing each other out, but soon things got... Eh.

Tommy brought it up to me first, I think he trusted me to open up to more than the others(sorry Tech and Phil but I'm the favorite xoxo /J) and basically opened up about how unhappy he was there. He wanted to explore the world, not be holed up in some frozen corner of the planet going and conquering a bunch of strangers just so we could follow Phil's and Tech's legacy. He felt suffocated in their shadows and... tbh I felt somewhat similar. So we made a plan, and one night we ran away without saying a word... Well, I left Techno a letter, but.

We ran to the portal, and somehow convinced Dream to give us access to the dsmp. I think he agreed because he knew that would knock Techno down a peg(my Dream and Tech were rivals for p obvious reasons). And we started over there. I dyed my hair, we got ourselves a new wardrobe, and we thought starting over in a small place without many people would be good! We lied about our past, though. We didn't want to be connected to the Antarctic Empire... both because we were trying to leave that part of us behind but also so no one would tell Tech and Phil where we were. This was our new start!

AND WHAT DOES TOMMY DO. START A FUCKING WAR WITH DREAM HIMSELF.

Tommy. Ily. But you're so stupid. /lh

So I've talked about how my mems from S1 and half of S2- up to Techno's execution- went, but I've remembered a bit more!

After Techno brought me back to his cabin, we talked for a long time about what happened. I told him I didn't remember anything leading up to my "death", and Techno filled in the gaps for me. I also didn't realize Phil was in the server because... Well I don't remember my confrontation with him. I also didn't remember my hypnosis, and since Dream is the only other one who knew, Tech didn't know and didn't relay that to me.

We agreed that for now, it'd be best if I stayed with him instead of back in L'manburg. And for a while I did!

One day though, Techno finds Tommy. ... Specifically the Tommy that was living under his house like a raccoon. Techno was furious and started chasing Tommy around, who was still hoaring his Gapples and whatnot, and when I finally walked outside to see what the hell was going on, I locked eyes with Tommy, and we both stopped.

He was white as a sheet, and looked about to cry, and luckily Techno stopped chasing him after seeing this. Again, Tubbo Quackity and Ranboo never told Tommy about me, he thought I was dead. I spoke up first with a "Tommy?" And he goes "Wil... You're alive?" To which I started tearing up- "Yeah... Yeah, I'm alive!" And we both just- broke at that, we ran to each other, I nearly crushed him in a hug and we were just sobbing. He thought I was gone, and I had gone so long without seeing my favorite lil bro that just... Aaaaaaa

After that Tommy explained his exile to Techno and I, and why he ran away and lived under Techno's house. I think Techno was softened up by seeing how happy Tommy and I were to be reunited, but also Tommy's his brother too, so he agreed to let Tommy stay too.

Now, Tommy was salty at L'manburg for exiling him, and Techno is anti-government. But- I think Techno was even more against L'manburg because of how hurt Tommy and I came out of it. So Techno and Tommy swore vengeance and decided to start doing crimes against L'manburg. I stayed out of it though- I was in good enough shape to take care of myself by this point, but I still way too injured to be in any sort of fighting shape.

And then one day... Techno came home without Tommy. Turns out Tommy sided with Tubbo in the end... and Techno was still determined to destroy L'manburg. Eventually they broke Philza out and- hoooooo that was an awkward reunion. Dream also came over from time to time to plan for their attack. I was. V uncomfortable around my Dream for reasons I couldn't explain(spoilers: it's the hypnotism that I forgot happened). I wanted nothing to do with their plan. I didn't want Tommy hurt, and I wasn't going to help them hurt him. I should've done more to stop them, but... Can't change the past.

After making a crater where L'manburg was, I confronted Phil. I called him out on doing something so awful... And he called me out for doing the same. He said to me, "Power corrupts, Wil. I've seen it with Schlatt, I've seen it with Tubbo, and most importantly I've seen it with you!" To which I retort, "You see it in everyone but yourself, Phil!" Because... ANTARCTIC EMPIRE ANYONE??? Turns out the Empire disbanded shortly before Tech and Phil came to the server, I don't remember how exactly that falling out occurred, but there was a reason why Tech and Phil were so strongly against any governments at this point.

After our fight, I left Tech and Phil. Tommy needed me. I built my own place not far from the crater, and frequently visited Tommy, Tubbo, and the others. Not Ranboo though, since Ranboo stayed with Phil and Techno. And Niki kinda wouldn't talk to me because she was... def also upset at thinking I was dead.

I was with everyone who confronted Dream when he had his finale with Tubbo and Tommy. He was NOT going to hurt my boys fuck no. Tommy took 2 of Dream's lives and you BET YOUR ASS I WAS CHEERING HIM ON(sorry Dream kinnies ily)

And then. Oh boy. Before Tommy could go for a third... Dream turned to me, and said something- I forget what, maybe it wasn't English, but it snapped something in me. I may have forgotten being hypnotized, but the effects were still there. Something came over me and I everything in my system was screaming at me to attack Tommy... so I did. I screamed, and lunged at him, but I was only able to tackle him and couldn't even get a hit in before Quackity and a few others were able to grab me and pull me off of him. I was thrashing to get free, but thank fuck they held me down.(Big Q ilysm /platonic)

It was then Dream revealed what he did to me way back in Pogtopia. He spoke something again, and I just felt that urge in me drop like a rock through my body, and I fainted then and there. When I came to, Big Q filled me in on what happened. Dream said he was the only one who knew how to undo what was done to me, and if he was killed, they'd run the risk of me doing that again. So they put Dream in the prison.

Now most of S3 is still blurry to me, but I remember breaking into the prison with Tommy. And that confrontation(which would've been Ghostbur if I was canon compliant but nope my canon is OFF THE RAILS). Tommy was with Sam, and I was stuck on the other side with Dream. Dream threatened that if he wasn't let go, he would "reset" me, whatever that meant. There was a lot of arguing and tbh I was terrified, but I knew I couldn't let Dream go. So I looked at Tommy and I told him "It's gonna be okay, Tommy."

And then everything went black. My memories after this are VERY blurry but- I think Dream somehow reverted my mind back to how it was during my Pogtopia corruption arc. And I had that itch in the back of my mind again. I'm the villain. Time to act like one.

... HECK THIS POST GOT REALLY LONG HUH... UHHHH ANYWAYS HOPE YOU LIKED IT IF YOU GOT THIS FAR IM JUST A V CANON DIVERGENT COMABUR >>

[heartwoodventures]

Primary Access Required: Run, Rabbit, Run

Aislinn made her way into the room, giving a wordless nod of greeting to those already gathered. She zeroed in on a chair and sat slowly and stiffly down onto it, letting go a breath as she did so.

Alexi took a glance around as he came down the stairs. "Oh! So there are others around. I was beginning to wonder."

Aislinn lifted her gaze to the Hrothgar as he appeared at the edge of the room. "Aye. Here and there. As I understand it, there's to be a meeting shortly." she said, her subdued voice barely carrying across the way.

Alexi quirks a brow and leans against the door frame, arms folding. "A meeting? What about?"

Haila glanced back to nod in greeting towards Alexi. "A discussion of a not so recent expedition that one of our members organized. But I'll wait for the news to be given more officially in a few moments."

From where he sat on the couch, Mivo'to flickered his eyes, his red companion finally coming to rest atop his waist after a handful of stern glances. "Business as ever. 'Twould seem Heartwood is not to be offered reprise by the Twelve."

Aislinn nodded, glad to let someone else do the talking.

"As much as I wished to call this business the usual... 'Tis not anymore. Not after the near endless time I had with our little mechanical guests to figure out more. But once more, time to wait just a tiny bit for those coming." Haila explained, sighing as she reached for a small canteen on her side to open and take a few sips. Of what, only she knew.

Alexi Grenasch: "Either way, I've been looking for M'shara. She left the Bozjan front before me by quite a while and I had hoped to find her upon my return this morning. She wasn't at her home, so I decided to just wait here for her."

Mivo'to offered a single blink before the Hrothgar's ponderance, his still expression drifting to the slumbering rodent atop his legs. Nary a twitch pulled at his lips, thoughts drifting elsewhere as he offered an idle scratch to the Panda.

Aislinn's gaze skated away from Alexi, also avoiding his words. She just didn't have it in her to say more.

Rising Lotus was mostly watching the fish swim about as she sat  on the counter before the tank, she wasn't quite sure what the latest had been with the whole situation as of late.

Once more, Haila's ears twitched, this time at the sudden sound of the front door bursting open. She stood quickly and rushed to the lobby to check. Upon seeing Altani out of breath on the floor, she went to her side, gently tapping the Viera on the shoulder as if to let her know that they were there.

Alexi sat up straight, his ears perking up at the sound from the other room! With a grunt, he stood and followed...

Mivo'to followed the attention of his Panda as its eyes snapped to the thunder of the door, swiftly exiting from its brief slumber as it scampered forth. "Twelve's name..." He murmured softly, chasing after the inquisitive beast - Only to grind to a halt upon the scene.

Altani rolled onto her back curling her fist into a ball smacking herself on her chest another loud cough coming out of her, she stayed silent for a moment before sitting up glancing to the crowd facing her, she never did much like crowds and now it only made her feel even worse as she tried to speak up "W-We...Shite...W-We went l-look for Vanriri..." Whatever she was trying to say it clearly wasn't easy as she choked up looking down at her thighs.

N'yami ears flicked as her ruby gaze turned towards the Viera who came bursting through the door, pushing herself off the pillar the Seeker turned to see what was going on. Why was Altani out of breath? The hell's happened? The confusion was clear on Yami's face, maybe she needed to come around the house more to keep up with everything.

Aislinn pulled herself to her feet, her expression blank as she followed in the others' wake.

Rising Lotus followed suit, wanting to see the commotion her self, and it felt kind weird to just be sitting there alone.

Mivo'to Laaski twisted his figure around, eyes falling upon the recently vacated study. With a raised finger, the Keeper would gesture forth, ears flapping through the air. "Pray, might we make arrangement for the Miss? She is clearly in a state of shock." He spoke, attention trailing to and fro between the trio and their newly arrived Viera. "I shall fetch water - Poor Miss is probably running on naught but willpower."

Haila Wetyios 's expression turned rather grim, so the news she'd suspected and found data on were probably about to be confirmed. She looked up towards Mivo'to and nodded. "Aye, bring some water quick. And you, take a breath first... We'll need you to tell us what happened with a clear head."

Aislinn stared at Mivo'to a moment, as if it was taking her time to process his words. Then, with an inhalation of breath, she pushed herself forward towards the Viera. "Can you stand? Do you want to come sit down?" she asked with perfunctory calm, eyes moving critically over the woman, looking for any glaring injuries.

Alexi just stood back, letting clearer heads and more careful hands tend to the woman. He just watched. He'd been waiting all morning for M'shara after he'd returned and been told she'd gone out to help someone. Now, he was getting a bad feeling from this new arrival...

Altani shook her head after a few moments, listening to reason for once she tried to simply breath, but as Aislinn spoke to her she gave a light shrug "I-Im fine...j-just-" She coughed again her throat was probably akin to a desert at the moment, but at a glance she seemed to be fine more or less, her boots were caked in mud and her clothes were drenched as she reached up pulling her goggles down around her neck, a clear ring of dust and grime surrounding her eyes "N-Not good news ive got..."

"Aye... Such seems to be the only thing that comes through these doors these days. Here, can you stand?" Haila offered a hand to the woman, then nodded towards the library." I think everyone present needs to hear what you've been through." she added, still looking intently at the Viera.

Rising Lotus inched in a bit closer to hear the woman speak, keeping enough distance where she wouldn't be in the way. She had only spoke with Haila breifly about the whole big thing they were dealing with early in the week, so she was curious what the latest was.

Aislinn's lips twitch downward at that. The only sign of any sort of expression at all. Haila was right, and though Aislinn had no idea what news Altani brought she could only wonder how many hits Heartwood would be required to take. Awkwardly, she pulled herself back to her feet, trying to be mindful of her injuries that were still on the mend. "Aye. She's right." Looking over her shoulder, she saw that Mivo'to had reappeared and made way for him.

Mivo'to reemerged after sometime, a swooshing wooden tankard clasped tightly between his palms. "Apologies, apologies, nary a clean mug in this-" He rambled, taking a plunging step forth to present the tankard of water before the Viera. "Easy does it, my Lady, easy does..."

Altani glanced away from the gaze but she took the hand shakily standing slowly pushing most of her weight onto Halia slowly wandering wherever Haila took her, but at the sight of the tankard she didnt wait a moment before grabbing it from Mivo'to chugging it down in seconds not even thinking as she dropped it the the floor "O-M-My bad..."

The uncanny speed at which the tankard had been down at least brought Haila a brief smirk. Altani didn't seem injured, that was enough for her. "Don't worry about it. Come along.." she said, leading the Viera back into the library area for her to take a seat.

Aislinn trailed after them and returned to her seat, watching Altani with a note of trepidation. She knew she had best steel herself for whatever was coming next. Mivo'to positioned themself far from the scene, arms folding upon his chest as an askewed gaze met the two Viera.

Alexi was the last to follow, taking his previous spot against the door frame. His tail tip still flicked harshly back and forth, telling of his anxiousness.

Altani let out a quiet sigh, knowing everyone's eyes were on her as she leaned back, she new it was pointless to beat around the bust so she simply let it out "...Vanriri, M-M'shara a-and...G'lewra were all...taken by the u-uh..the spider shites....allagan things...a-ate em or something...?" She didnt really know how it worked or what the hells she'd seen "T-Think they arent dead though like...ate em weirdly...pulled em into its guts with lie...m-metal tendrils or something..."

Haila nodded slowly as Altani spoke, even opting to cross her arms as she leaned absentmindedly against the couch, piecing together Altani's tale in her mind. "It took them then." she merely commented, waiting for the rest to process what had been just said before sharing what she knew.

Mivo'to lifted a brow, lips parting as an ever concerned breath passed between his fangs. 'Ate', was it? He had little knowledge on their machinations, but such a description can hardly mean anything pleasent. "Miss Haila? Any trace of what she may be describing?" He questioned, turning to their resident expert.

Aislinn tensed as she stared at Altani. So that's where G'lewra had gone. Rushing headlong after Vanriri. She shot a glance to Haila, recalling the dissection they had previously performed. "Wonder if that's what the thing's blasted cavity is for. Hauling people."

"I wouldn't put it past it's design. Who knows, maybe one of Dellont's projects for the future was to design a creature that could carry the injured back into safety like that.." Haila then shook her head some, clearly the woman had disdain for all these machinations. "How twisted can something get from it's original intention? But then again, it wouldn't have any Allagan in it if didn't do that..."

N'yami's tail tip flicked and her eyes narrowed into slits, the corner of her mouth twitched as if wanting to curl into a snarl but she controlled herself. She wasn't mad at the Viera but mad that the allagan bastards had taken those precious to her.

"They're eatin' folks now? Wern't they jus'..." Rising Lotus twirled her hand around as she tried to remember "Drainin' em before?" she shifted a bit at the thought of being eaten by one of those things, shuddering a bit.

"They were probably secured after being stunned." Haila explained as she heard her name being called, then glanced over to Altani. "Did they all fall in combat? Or was something shot akin to a lightning shard that made them fall and unable to move? Or did you see anything like I described?"

"Mayhaps it is a method of entrapment, Lady Lotus. A means to save them for a later date?" Mivo'to offered.

"I 'spose they are spiders...sorta...an' real ones do that too, web 'em up an' all." Rising Lotus replied.

"I can only fathom why - Least they are in need of a sudden surge of aether." Mivo'to paused, a chill creeping upon his neck as a shudder passed over his shoulders, head shaking to and fro as he turned centerward. "I would rather not ponder the possibilities of such a cause..."

Alexi tensed as soon as he heard M'shara's name. His lips peeled back slightly and every exhale of breath carried the low rumble of a growl. His gaze flicked between Altani and Haila. "Took them? Took them where?"

Altani nodded softly at Halia "They seemed to be uh...sleepin I guess, was to busy running and all to look...but uh...they were headed for Coerthas...n-now that im im thinkin about it..." She shook her head for a moment "W-well...honestly think its was a trap...soon as we found Vanriri they were on us..." She cursed herself, in hindsight it seemed so obvious to her that it was some sort of trap she'd done similar in the past now she was falling for the same trick.

Haila nodded once more, then looked down at the ground for a few moments. Where to even start? First, she looked up at Alexi, the one who probably needed the most answers now. "So the team that G'lewra assembled a bit recklessly didn't go too well... As far as we know, those creatures prey on any that have a gift for magic. So no doubt they had a field day.." she told him before looking back over to the group. "I won't bash G'lewra for going off like this, she must have had a plan to be tracked---at least... But are we all in agreement that no groups will be formed to go after them unless we have a clear countermeasure to their stun shots and the hordes in which they come?"

Mivo'to pursed a bottom lip, fangs pressing softly into its purplish flesh. It was clear the Miqo'te was in thought, off-colored eyes raging with one another as Haila's words echoed upon his pointed ears. Sit back? How could they? Every hour, every minute might very well stand as the last, a fate let pass. "I doubt we can sit idly by. I have no intention of rushing headlong, but surely there are measures that can be taken now - Learn our enemy's weakness, locate where our friends are kept."

"It does seem out of character for her, to be so reckless." Aislinn allowed. She didn't really need time to consider Haila's words, to her mind it was just logical. She nodded in agreement with the Viera. "I think that only makes sense." she turned her attention to Mivo'to. "Most of us recall rushing headlong into a fight not too long ago with no idea what we were dealing with. We'll work fast, but we need a plan." she told him.

Rising Lotus nodded, as much as she was generally all for jumping head first into danger, a whole swarm of was a bit out of her comfort zone, and Haila knew what she was talking afterall. "Before they only went after folks that used uh, healin' magic right? Or mostly seemed, so does that mean they've gotten a bigger...appetite?

Alexi calmed somewhat as Haila gave him her brief explanation, his fangs retracted though that growl in his tone of voice persisted. He gave a slight nod to Haila. "Agreed. We wouldn't want to walk into another trap..." he said, taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly. "Though I WILL be assisting in the rescue effort. And anything else I can do to help prepare, I will."

N'yami kept her mouth shut as she listened but not only was her mother taken but so were her friends, her tail flicked behind her as plans started form in her head and what she could possibly do to save those that were taken. She would need to go track down her husband after this.

"We won't stand idly no, but at least it would be better to have countermeasures. At least a suit that is impervious to their stuns or a disruptor of the signal they all exchange." Haila commented, looking over to the Miqo'te. "If no one was drained of their aether there and then like the bodies reported around Coerthas, we can assume everyone that was taken is needed alive at the very least."

Altani stayed silent for a few moments as she recalled what all had happened, she then recalled something G'lewra had said "They did somethin odd, they just ignored me, as if I was a rock in the middle of a river they just went around me, even if I was fightin think its the only reason im here right now...but Lewra said it was my lack of mis-er Aether...?" She didn't seem so sure of herself as she finished speaking "Maybe...could send some of us...non spell casters lovers in to scout around...?"

Mivo'to offered a silent glance upon the room, an idle hand draping free of his chest, and upon his hilt, squeezing upon its worn, sturdy pommel. "Would it be unfounded to say your previous specimen has provided all it may, Lady Haila? Such a scouting party could also look to procuring another - Preferably intact."

"If that's the case, that they just flat out ignore those with lower registers of aether, then that might be best." Aislinn sighed. "As it is, I only have one aether dampener prototype ready to go."

"It's...given me quite a lot of data yes. We currently have three in our posession, two that I've almost finished fixing, and one intact. But they're all rather small." Haila informed them. At Aislinn's new information though, she glanced between her and Mivo'to. "While I would be opposed to you trying to find one by yourself given that you can be a target for them as well Mivo.. If you had a way of cloaking some of your aether, that would change things. A medium sized one would come in handy right now. Even if to establish a stronger connection to their base."

"How do you capture such things, aside from jus' smashin' 'em. Is there some way to jus' turn them off?" Rising Lotus asked.

Mivo'to trailed his gaze between the studious Haila and Aislinn, a faint hum occupying his throat. One, two, three blinks before he parted his lips, a rush of air passing between them. "Have you any means of baiting such contraptions out?" He questioned, furthering a nod to Rising's own inquiry.

N'yami raised her hand. "Can use me as bait." She said speaking up for the first time since the meeting started. "I have a lot of aether but it's not exactly aether they'd want to get their hands on."

Aislinn considered that a moment. "I would think a large discharge of aether in the area of Coerthas we know them to be should do it." she mused. "If the party is made up of those of a less magical bent, crystals might work." she stopped and looked over at N'yami. "Ahh...even better."

"As far as I'm concerned... Only aether draws them out, and they seem to be expanding territory too. Unles..." Haila trailed off, ears perking at a reckless idea that didn't seem too bad anymore. "Unless you use the smallest spider in our posession to send a signal to bring in a bigger one. You'd need to be aware of where their territory ends, but it could work. As for disabling them, while I don't have full access to this scientist's signals, the core is allagan, faking a signal from their original creators could work."

Haila glanced over to the volunteer for baiting. Her gaze softened a bit with a glint of worry. "You must be G'lewra's daughter right?... If only our reasons to meet were brighter than this..."

"An' if that don't work at least we could jus' break it's legs off, probably not too much important in those right?" Rising Lotus nodded confidently at her idea, cocking her head a bit as she thought it through a bit more. "..Though they could probably still call for it's friends if the main part is still squirmin'. Only if the first part don't work then."

Altani got a rather dumb idea but she spoke up anyway "Could get a uh, cage split it in half stick on of you in one side and the spider thing in then other? Dunno how strong the cage would have to be though." Alt shrugged lightly glancing around the room "Dunno about the things calling for its friends though...suppose just have to be faster then them? Or could bring a carriage?"

Alexi was doing his best to follow along, just listening to what the others were proposing. "Hm... if you already have specimins, broken or not, why do you need another? How will it get us into their lair to free the others?"

"'Twoud be a swift operation, nary a Ilm for failure. It would serve well if both our 'bait' and our poacher be familiar with Coerthea's terran - Or, at the very least, capable of quickly traversing the snow." Mivo'to openly pondered, flickering his attention to Altani. "Aye, holding a party in reserve would be in good order - Provide a swift getaway, and ensure the path is clear." The Keeper agreed.

"Probably wonderin' how in the hells someone so gentle and well spoken ended up with me as a kid." N'yami sighed softly to more or less collect her thoughts. "But yea, I'm her daughter, but from what you and the Old man has said these things detect aether and they go for ones with large amounts of it. If I can get a decent sized one to come after me I should be able to lock it down."

Haila nodded towards N'yami, "Aye, that would be of great help." she said to her before turning over to Alexi. "Because I need a bigger one to test their abilities... And because I may be able to snatch more data from their creator from here already." she explained, clearly reluctant as she stepped forward and opened up her strange tome as she set it down in the middle of the room. Holograms and formulas coming to life as very blurry images started to project among a constant flickering. The images in question being brief sights of doors and tubes, yet their contents were too blurred to see, one would say it wasn't even enough to call it proof of their friend's whereabouts. "I managed to get this from the smaller ones, but I can't clear the images or any recordings yet... There's also unfinished words encrypted, but I need more data to decipher them."

Alexi stepped closer as the display lit up, resting his hands on the back of the sofa and leaning forward to try and see better. He breathed a sigh as it all seemed to sink in. "Apologies, this is all quite new to me... So, we don't even know where they've been taken, other than somewhere in Coerthus?"

As Aislinn watched the flickering images a furrow formed between her brows. She couldn't be sure of what it was she was looking at. "Are these...visual recordings from the bioweapons? ...spiders. Old footage of their return point?"

Rising Lotus watched all the information float around, eyes darting around from image to image but not really understanding much of it.

"I'd say recordings, or images exchanged with the other ones. But we might be able to see where they go if we snatch a more intact and bigger one. Their signal reaches so far that even from here I can catch small bits of it. But yes, all we know so far is that it's somewhere in Coerthas, and a tad deep into that land at that." Haila said.

Alexi takes another deep breath and lets it out slowly to try and calm himself. As much as he wished it wasn't so, this plan was their only chance. "Sorry to interupt. My worry seems to be getting the better of me. Please, continue."

Altani squinted at the floating images, not really being able to make much sense of any of it she simply listened along whatever it was from the sounds of it it was promising, trying to not let herself fall asleep as her exhaustion caught up with her

Mivo'to trailed his eyes through the rough visuals, lips parting in a silent murmur, seemingly in a deep reflection with himself as he made note of what he may - Which, admittedly, was hardly much.

Aislinn nodded. "Alright, so if I'm understanding this, we need another one of those bioweap...spiders in order to collect more data and pinpoint where our members were taken. Then, the plan is to send in a team made up of non-spell casters on a rescue mission?" she asked for clarification. Just to be sure she was following all of this. Admittedly, she hadn't been her best lately.

"You've all the right to feel like that. I just wish I had more answers for now. But the images I got are very little right now." Haila said, nodding once as she waved her hand at the images, some of the clearer ones coming into view. There was a clear vision of a snake in one, and another one showed wings, and then a random scalekin that you could find anywhere in the land. "Tis the plan I can offer, at least for now. Lest I choose a more reckless option."

Aislinn made a low, uneasy noise in the back of her throat. "Well, let's try not so reckless first."

"I doubt we are short of volunteers for our first undertaking...Tis only a matter of who we choose to send." Mivo'to said.

Rising Lotus looked to Aisllinn "An' like you said, we only got one uh...anti...magic...thing, that we can use. Shouldn't be too hard to choose the non-magic folks, it's jus' that one we need to be considerin' a bit more."

"It wouldn't hurt to have a backup group watching over those that go and try to bait too..." Haila added

"Of course, I volunteer. Aside from ammunition imbuement, I've little in the way of aetheric skills or magick." Alexi spoke up.

Aislinn looked over at Rising. "Aye. Just the one. And like anything having to do with aether, it comes with a price. Can't get something for nothing. In this case, it'll dampen a person's signature but in return casting anything is that much harder. Like wearing weights." she paused. "But if it's needed, we have it."

"So you or N'yami could do it then..." Haila said, trailing off.

"Makes sense...Jus' like usin' armor I guess." Rising turned her attention back to Haila. "I can help out too, I'm used to travelin' over there, an' I ain't ever really done much magic ever."

Mivo'to curled his digits across the hilt of his blade, a rhythmic 'slip' sounding as he idly removed and insert the blade from its sheath. "Should you be in need of a soul to physically render the target null, I would like to volunteer. Familiar enough with those snow-touched wastes to make a swift departure."

Haila glanced between the two new volunteers. "That would be good then.. I'll have a device ready to try and disable the spider, at least on a small scale. I doubt it is possible to down the whole horde unless it's a direct command from their creator." she sighed. "I wished I could be of help there, but all I can do is give the tools. Lest we give that mad man more reasons to toy with Heartwood." "Probably goes without sayin, but well I can help, figure I can just scout around or whatever's needed, done a few jobs in the area so I’m a little familiar." Altani said.

"You also were the last person that saw how far they've reached into the Shroud if I'm not wrong. Drawing a small map of the route G'lewra's group did could help, as well as noting down where any report of dead bodies has taken place." Haila noted as she nodded once more. "I won't accompany you, so I believe you all who wish to go should decide on the roles each one will play. All that I ask is that no one is reckless and to withdraw immediately if more than one spider shows up."

"We've a plan, and we have our players." Mivo'to said, a previously lost spark returning to their tone as they lifted their arms, a closed fist punching into an open palm. "Let's get our girls."

Haila couldn't help but smirk a bit. "Aye, time to get everyone back safe and sound."

Alexi grunted and gave a nod to Mivo'to, then looked around to the others. "Agreed. Our friends must come home."

Rising Lotus grinned at Mivo's enthusiasm. "Aye, we'll get them back in no time, an' squash any of them things that stand in our way!"

"But I do get the ok if a large group of those spider things come that I get to at least blow up a few, yea? Don't worry I'll make sure the large one stays safe." N'yami asked.

"As long as you don't let them overwhelm you. Or get anywhere close enough to shoot a stun bullet at you, I won't complain. A whole horde coming at you isn't pretty, and I wouldn't doubt that the man behind this would still go for someone with aether related to one of his captives."

"Might be smart to have someone high up watching over everything, so if a horde of em shows we know before theyre all over us." Altani said.

Aislinn gave a single nod of her head. She turned to pass N'yami a look over her shoulder. "Before you go, the prototype is on your mother's desk." her gaze faltered a moment. "Just... cuff it to your wrist. The stone will take care of the rest."

N'yami offered a small nod. "I'll be sure to grab it, if any of ya need me I'll be in my shop off in the Goblet."

"When do we leave? Tonight? First thing come morning?" Alexi asked, eager to get moving.

"I'd say first thing in the morning. Give Altani some time to rest at least." Haila said, nodding towards the half dozing Viera. "The quicker the better, but as always, don't rush in, that goes for everyone involved."

"Agreed." Aislinn added firmly.

"Plenty an hour for rest - With such an undertaking, I would do well we all approach as alert as we may be. Our present optimism can turn head in a mere moment." Mivo'to nodded.

Alexi gave a nod and a grunt. "Then I'll be staying here to be as prepared as I can be for the morning."

Haila nodded "There's a few guestrooms open, and more than enough supplies to stock up on before leaving."

"If no one has much to share, I'd say we're set for now. I may need to find an extra hand on Allagan work though if anyone has any good contacts to put to use..."

"I can take ya to the Old Man one of these suns, he's been workin' on one of those spiders as well and he's been researchin' allagan for gods knows how long." N'yami offered.

Haila Wetyios blinked in surprise. "Please do... Two or three heads are better than one, especially when this is getting more and more personal with each loss."

If Altani had much to say she wasnt going to be saying much as she slumped over on the couch a low snore could be heard as she dozed off.

"Pray, if I may trouble you for your notes later this evening, Lady Haila. I would much prefer to know the workings of a contraption I will be so 'intimately' close to." Mivo'to asked.

Haila nodded, "I'll be sure to pass them onto you as soon as I can."

Alexi huffed out a breath. "If that's it then, I'm going to retire for the evening. I'll be in one of the guest rooms if anyone wants to go over strategy."

Mivo'to nodded, adjusting his coat. "May Twelve grant you their blessing - Heavens know we will be needing it."

N'yami pushed herself off the wall and gave a small stretch. "I'm gonna head back to the Goblet, if any of ya need weapons to pierce through the metal those things are made of give me a call and I'll work on somethin' for ya."

Rising Lotus looked to be mulling something over during the tail end of their meeting, but seemed to shake off whatever she was thinking of. "Tomorrow then, spider catchin'. Spose I ought to make suer everything is in workin' order."

Alexi quirked a brow at N'yami. "Are their hides any tougher than Garlean steel? Because I have no problem with that."

N'yami grinned. "In my shop there is, ya wanna come to the shop? I got extra beds so ya can crash there if ya like and we can work on somethin' for ya."

As the others worked out the details of their plan of attack, Aislinn rose from her seat. They appeared to have it from here and she still wasn't 100%. She needed to find some rest. "Just...try to all come back in one piece. Aside from the obvious reasons, of not wanting to lose another person, the clinic is short-staffed." she said as she made her way out. "Be safe."

Mivo'to lifted the Panda of his shoulder by its scruff, setting it beside his boots. "Pray, should any update arise, reach for my shell - I shant be but a hour's travel away." He spoke, drifting from the study.

N'yami offered a small wave. "Take care and get some rest."

Alexi nodded to N'yami, the first hint of a smile cracking the corners of his mouth. "Sounds like a much better option. Lead the way."

Rising Lotus started her way off. "See ya'll tomorrow then, I'll should be up in time otherwise jus' come get me."

[goalcaufield]

funny business - s. knight note: nsfw content (whoops! it wasn’t supposed to. but.)

these four white walls and that stupid constant beeping was starting to drive you insane. it had only been twenty minutes since you woke up from your surgery, but you were already ready to rip your iv out of your hand. your knee was killing you, you felt extremely groggy, and all you wanted was to be back in your own bed at home. 

you groan, which comes out more strangled than anything, and try to resituate yourself to get more comfortable to go back to sleep. however, the world seems to be extremely against you. 

“see? she’s still asleep! i told you it was a good idea we got all this stuff now,” you hear one of the boys, one of your best friends speak. and god you can hear that stupid smirk on jack’s face - how he always got when he was right about something. 

“yeah, yeah, whatever j,” alex is next to speak. you pop one eye open and all 3 of the boys freeze, teddy bears and balloons in their arms. 

“hi baby,” spencer breathes out with a smile, and he takes a few steps forward to reach your bed. he pushes the hair away from your forehead and presses a lingering kiss before his hand falls to your cheek. “how are you feeling my love?”

you lean into his hand, a lazy smile making its way onto your face. “tired. in pain.” spencer smiles sadly knowing that there’s nothing he can do to help you. but you reach up and place your hand on top of his. “but i’m a little better now, because you’re here.” 

“wow, what are we, chopped liver? not like i haven’t known you since we were five years old, y/n.” jack scoffs and the two boys place their ‘get well’ gifts on one of the open hospital chairs. 

“j,” you sigh, “it’s different bub. you know that.” 

jack just rolls his eyes, but spencer hands you the teddy bear he got for you, a light brown bear with a red heart that had ‘i love you!’ written across it in white letters. there was a card tucked behind the heart and the balloon tied around it. 

“oh spencer knight,” you grin like a fool but accept the gift gratefully. alex and jack watch the interaction between you two, and while they think it’s grossly sickening, they still can’t help but smile. 

“you saw your mom, right?” jack speaks up and you nod. your mom was right by your side when you first woke up, and she had disappeared a few minutes ago to grab your nurse so she could give you more pain medication. 

“do you guys want a minute?” alex asks looking between the two of you. “cause we can leave for a few.”

“if you don’t mind,” spencer says glancing down at you. luckily the two boys leave you alone. 

“what’s up, love?” you ask, head tilting sideways. spencer steps back to grab a chair and he pulls it up next to your hospital bed, wasting no time before he’s grabbing your hand and pressing his lips to the skin. “spence,” you giggle. 

you can feel his smile forming against your skin. “i was just worried sweetheart, that’s all. i know you were going to be okay, but still, that nagging thought is there.”

you smile sadly, your free hand going up to brush through his messy blond curls. “i love you, you know that?”

“of course i do,” he smiles and turns his head so he can kiss your hand that fell to his cheek. “i just wish i could help you. i know you’re in pain and i know you’re gonna be in pain for a while.”

you sigh. “about that. i’m sorry i won’t be able to go with you to prom. you can still go, i understand if you want to.”

“are you crazy? there’s no other place i’d rather be than with you, my love. i’ll gladly spend prom night cuddled up with you watching movies.”

“and this, this is why i am in love with you, spencer knight,” you whisper and bring his lips to yours, but right as they brush you hear a throat being cleared from the entryway. 

“obviously someone is feeling a little bit better, miss l/n,” the young nurse teases you. “how are you feeling hon?” 

“in a lot of pain,” you admit, causing spencer’s hand to squeeze yours. 

“that’s what i’m here for,” she grins and sets up bags of medication to flow through your iv. “you may feel a little drowsy, but that’s normal. if you’re nauseous just press that button, okay?” she points towards the red ‘call’ button on your bed remote.

you thank the nurse before she’s leaving the room, which leaves you and spencer alone once more. “where were we again?” spencer plays dumb with a cute smile on his face before he’s leaning in to kiss you again. this time your lips actually meet, and you most definitely let it get a bit more heated than you originally intended. one of your hands runs through spencer’s hair and the other stays planted on the back of his neck. however on the other hand, one of spencer’s are trailing underneath your hospital gown and the other rests on your hip.

“we left for like five minutes!” alex shouts as him and jack walk back into the room. spencer pulls away from you quickly and his cheeks are bright pink. “jeez, spence. you know you two can’t have sex, right?”

you’ve never seen that boy look at you so quickly before and it’s a miracle he didn’t give himself whiplash. “y/n, what is he talking about?”

“spence,” you laugh, grabbing both of his hands. “technically we can’t. unless you wanna risk hurting me, which i’m sure you wouldn’t.”

spencer lets out a huff and leans back in his chair, pulling his hands from yours to cross his arms over his chest. “we can just be careful?”

you roll your eyes. he’s got an innocent look on his face for the not-so-innocent acts he’s thinking of, but you know he doesn’t mean anything bad. “maybe in a week or two. but for the time being, you’re gonna have to suffer.”

luckily your mother walks into the room clueless to the conversation that’s going on but is able to stop it before it continues. “hi honey, hi boys. y/n/n, you should be able to be discharged by tonight.”

“oh thank god,” you mumble, letting your head fall back against the pillows. “movie night, spence?”

spencer snaps out of his pouting phase, and a grin forms on his face. “please?”

meanwhile your mother is hesitant. “y/n, you’re gonna have to be extremely careful, you know. i’m not joking. i don’t even think you should be on the same couch together in all honesty.”

“but, that ruins the whole point of movie night,” spencer pouts at your mom, but she gives him a stern look in response.

“can’t promise you anything, mom, sorry,” you mumble knowing she probably couldn’t hear you anyway. however spencer does, and the little giggle that leaves his lips is enough to make you smile over at him.

the next few hours of grueling. your doctor comes in to lecture you about the do’s and don’ts after your surgery, which includes all of the basics. ice it. take your pain medicines. no strenuous activities. try to stay off it as much as you can. stay persistent with physical therapy, because it wouldn’t benefit you at all if you weren’t.

once you’re finally discharged later that night, spencer is right by your side helping you into the wheelchair your nurse provided for you. you’ve got all the teddy bears the boys got for you in your lap, the balloons flying right above your head for everyone to see. none of those boys left your side, not until spencer was helping you carefully into the passengers seat of your mom’s car. 

“i’ll see you in an hour, yeah?” spencer asks with his hands next to you on the seat. you nod and peck his lips. “see you in a bit, love.”

“see you sweetheart.”

“spence, you didn’t drive here alone, right?” your mom asks, and spencer glances up at her. 

“no, jack drove. why?”

“you guys can have your movie night. hop in the back, kiddo.”

the smile on spencer’s face is equivalent to a little kid that just got ice cream after hours of begging, and he happily gets in the back of the mini van for the ride back to your house that’s about half an hour away. 

you end up dozing off in the car leaving spencer and your mom to talk about god knows what. but they keep each other occupied and they manage to not wake you up, and you wake up only when you feel spencer’s hands carefully moving under your body to carry you.

“spence,” you mumble, but he’s quick to shush you and you oblige, wrapping your arms around his neck and resting your head on his chest. “we’re still having our movie night, you know. you’re crazy to think that we aren’t.”

spencer’s chest vibrates as he laughs. “you’ve had a long day love, i get it. we can just have a whole movie day tomorrow.”

“no, we’re having movie night now,” you grumble and he sighs in defeat. spencer carries you into your house and up to your room, and when you open your eyes again you nearly cry. spencer had made you a little ‘get well’ basket with all of your favorite things - from candy to movies to a new fuzzy blanket you were sure you’d get use out of that night cuddling with spencer. “spencer you did not have to do this.”

“but i did,” you can hear the smile in his voice and you turn back to kiss the underside of his jaw. “i love you, spence. more than you could ever imagine.”

“oh i’m sure i love you so much more, y/n,” he mumbles and kisses your forehead. “now i think i was promised a movie night?”

spencer carefully situates you on your bed, taking the yellow fuzzy blanket from the basket and setting the basket on your night stand. he then gingerly gets into the bed next to you, careful not to disturb your left leg even if he was on the opposite side. you place your hand and head on spencer’s chest as he turns your tv on in search of a movie for the two of you to watch. a grin forms on his face when ‘atlantis: the lost empire’ comes onto the screen, your all time favorite movie, so of course he presses play.

usually spencer is pretty decent when it comes to keeping his hands to himself. key word being usually. but it seems that because he can’t - or he shouldn’t - his hands seem to do a bit of wandering on their own. his hand slips underneath the waistband of your sweatpants and underwear, and while you know you shouldn’t egg him on, the moan that escapes you lips is just enough to do that. spencer knows you like the back of his hand, after nearly three years of dating that’ll just happen to a couple, spencer barely has to touch you to get a reaction out of you.

“spencer, we can’t. you heard the doctor, ‘no strenuous activities,’” you try to make him come to his senses, but would that happen? oh god no. of course not.

“yeah, well, eating you out? i don’t think that’s strenuous for you, love.” you can barely process his words before spencer is sliding out from underneath you and is making his way down your body. he hooks the band of your sweatpants around his finger and pulls them down, extra careful when he gets to your knee, and discards them when he’s able. he presses his lips to your thighs sucking a couple of hickeys into the skin before he pulls your thong to the side. 

“spence, please,” you whine, fingers tangling in his curls. he looks up at you through his eyelashes before his lips wrap around your clit. you try to keep you body to the bed, but spencer’s arm going to rest across your stomach makes that easier. 

“love, you gotta be quiet, your mom would kill us,” he mumbles, and instead of letting out a moan you whimper right as spencer licks a stripe right up your folds. needless to say, the kid knew you way too well.

you can’t help but tug on his curls, some sort of substitute for not being able to make much noise, but spencer isn’t complaining. if anything it just makes him smirk against you and go twice as hard as he was before. he pushes a digit into your entrance, which almost sets you into overdrive, and you can’t help but roll your hips against his lips.

“you can cum princess, it’s okay,” spencer mumbles, and that’s all you need before you turn your head to moan into your pillow. you’re panting as spencer basically licks you clean, then proceeds to kiss up your body until he’s hovering over top of you. “that wasn’t too strenuous, was it darling?”

you peek one eye open, and of course that stupid spencer knight smirk is right on his lips. “oh shut up, spencer.”

“hm, don’t think i will princess.” 

[maraudererasmut]

Black and White (Part III)

Part I

Part II

Part III

Part IV

Part V

Part VI

Part VII

Part VIII

Part IX

A week had passed since the opening of Black and White, and in that time, Remus had hastily completed four paintings, photographed everything he had and assembled his portfolio book. He had the opportunity to show his work to one of the most influential people in the London art scene, and he'd be damned if he let anything get in his way. 

After a frustratingly long shift at the cafe, Remus trudged back to his tiny flat. He immediately hopped into the shower, letting the cool water run over his body, trying desperately to pretend it was warmer than it was. 

Remus hurriedly got dressed, making sure to wear the nicest article of clothing he owned: his one and only suit. Before leaving the house, Remus caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror and paused.

He looked dapper. Well, dapper for a poor artist living from paycheck to paycheck, scrambling to put food on his table. His face was clean shaven, his curls gelled back neatly. His suit was ill-fitting, but it wasn't too noticeable. At least his shirt fit him nicely, and it matched his tie, which was good enough for him. Remus flashed the mirror a smile. It didn't look real; it looked like the type of smile Remus used to wear during the holidays when he visited his extended family. Taking a deep breath, the artist steadied himself and tried again, smiling into the mirror. It was believable enough. 

As Remus walked down the street, he couldn't help but let his mind wander. He was nervous. No, terrified. He had no idea what Sirius Black would think of his art, and he had no one to ask for help. None of his friends were artists. According to them, Remus' work was all "really nice, Remus! I love it!" Unfortunately, no one ever seemed to love it enough to want to purchase it. 

Remus had been ridiculed in the past. He had heard gallery owners tell him his work was too high-brow, too low-brow, too literal, too abstract. They've said they hated his use of colour, they hated the absence of colour, his work was too derivative, his work was too unique. It wasn't palatable for a modern audience, it was too confusing for the mainstream, it was too mainstream for the artists. Remus had heard everything about his art, how he would never make it in the art world and he would never sell a painting. It had been disheartening, but Remus continued painting anyway. He had no other choice. His life would never be complete if he didn't paint.

Before he even realized it, Remus was standing outside of Black and White, his fingers gripped tightly around the portfolio case that he was holding. This was it. This was his chance. Remus lifted his hand to knock on the door and hesitated for a moment. 

He couldn't do it.

Then the door opened.

"Remus!"

James' grin was the same one Remus remembered from the gallery opening, broad and bright and filled with abundant enthusiasm. It was infectious, and Remus couldn't help but smile in return.

"Hello, James."

"Come in, come in!" James opened the door, gesturing for Remus to enter. As Remus passed him, the man began babbling about anything and everything. "Sirius said you might be stopping by today, so I figured I'd hop over! I'm excited to see what kind of work you have! I tried looking for a website for you online or something, but you don't really have a presence, do you? That's something you need to change, Remus! All artists need an online presence, that's the only way that people can find their work! We'll talk about it over dinner some time, I can definitely help you out with that. And Lily—"

"James…" The voice that cut him of was cold and low, reverberating in the spacious gallery. Remus almost didn't recognize the voice; the last time he had heard it, the man had seemed so happy. "James, stop boring our guest with your inane chatter."

Remus bit the corner of his lip, slightly uncomfortable at being present while James was scolded by his friend. James, on the other hand, seemed completely unphased. 

"Good luck," James offered cheerfully, clapping Remus on the shoulder. "I'll be here after your interview!"

Remus swallowed hard, his grip tightening on his portfolio case. He took a deep breath and headed to the back of the gallery where the voice had originated from. 

Sirius appeared in the threshold, looking as handsome now as he did a week ago. His hair was left loose around his shoulders, a shimmering black wave splayed across his back. He was wearing a stark white shirt, the top buttons or which were undone, exposing creamy skin and deep grey tattoos, faded slightly from the wear of time. His hands were tucked into his slacks, which were clearly tailored, falling just above shiny black shoes, two little mirrors reflecting a twisted version of the man who wore them. 

Sirius offered Remus a grin, which Remus tried— and failed— to return. Remus was fairly certain that whatever expression he did manage to make was some combination of deep-seated horror and completely awe-struck, with just a dash of panic. Sirius either didn't notice or chose to politely ignore Remus' face, opting instead to beacon him into the back office.

"Please, have a seat," Sirius said once Remus was in the room. The tone of Sirius' voice was still chilly compared to the warmth of the other day, making Remus feel more nervous than even he had anticipated. "What have you brought to show me?"

"Well," Remus began, scrambling to unzip his portfolio case. He pulled out his book and handed it to Sirius, stammering slightly as he explained himself. "I— I've taken some photographs of my work. I didn't really bring— I mean, I have one or two— but mostly I didn't bring any originals. But the photographs are good," Remus insisted as he saw Sirius raise his eyebrow. 

Carefully, as if handling a venomous creature, Sirius opened Remus' portfolio book to the first page. Remus tried to read the man's expression, analyse his face, figure out what he thought of the art. Sirius was stone, completely still, his face unreadable. Remus felt a lump rise in his throat as Sirius turned the page without a word. Then another page. Then he skipped to a section in the middle.

Remus opened his mouth to protest, knowing that the gallerist had passed over one of his stronger pieces, but Sirius simply raised a finger, effectively silencing Remus. 

Sirius flipped through again, staring at a few more pieces before snapping the book shut with a sharp sound that startled Remus.

"What else have you brought?"

"I— " That was all Remus had. Just the one portfolio book. He thought that was all he needed. The only other things were a few doodles in his sketchbook, a few originals that were represented in his portfolio and an incomplete painting that he had been working on and accidentally packed. 

"Very well then," Sirius began, causing Remus to panic.

"No! I— I have some paintings!" Remus reached into his portfolio case and pulled one out, but he noticed the slight shake of Sirius' head, the purse of his lips. Remus pulled another out, hoping this would be what Sirius wanted to see. "I have these…"

Remus watched as Sirius' eyes shifted, lighting up ever so slightly.

"What else is in there?" He asked, nodding to the case.

"Oh, uh…" Remus peered inside his portfolio case, feeling uncertain. "No— Nothing… well, not nothing, but i— it's not done."

"Show me," Sirius said sharply. It wasn't a question.

"Oh, um…" Remus reached into the bag and pulled out his unfinished piece. It was something that had been on his mind for a while, something he kept going to and stopping, unable to figure out how to continue, how he should finish it. The painting had troubled Remus for so long, he had honestly forgotten that it was even in his portfolio case. 

At once, Sirius' expression changed. It softened as his eyes danced across the canvas, darting back and forth, bright and shining in the gallery light. As they widened, Remus could see the sky blue in those eyes, the warmth of the grey. They were beautiful. Remus wanted to paint them.

"I want this," Sirius said under his breath, more to himself than to Remus. He looked up, as if he only just remembered that Remus was there. "This one. I like this. Do you have more if it?"

"Uh…" Remus wanted to tell Sirius that the work was unfinished. He wanted to say that it was the only one like it and that he didn't think he could ever create more. He wanted to demand why Sirius loved this one so much but hated all of his completed works. Instead, he reached into his satchel and pulled out his sketchbook. "I have these…"

Sirius held the book in his hands, almost reverently, and opened it. As he flipped through the pages, he scanned the artwork, taking it in, absorbing it. Unlike with Remus' portfolio, Sirius' mouth twisted slightly, moving as it shaped words under his breath. Page after page, Sirius kept going, taking in what he saw in the book. Liking it. Remus felt himself relax, felt the tightness behind his eyes, forcing back tears of relief.

The book closed and Sirius' eyes raised to meet Remus'.

"If you can give me more of this…" Sirius emphasized his point by placing his palm firmly on the textured black sketchbook cover. "And this," he said, nodding to the unfinished painting, "I have a spot for you in this gallery."

Untitled No. 1

(R. J. Lupin)

[witharsenicsauce]

Chosen Stories From the War #18: If U Seek Amy

It seemed to Kon-Mai like she had spent her life here, in the ship’s infirmary.

In a way, she had been born—reborn—here, awoken to darkness, with new possibilities surrounding her. Her brothers, too. They had all been born here.

And now Colonel Zhang was born anew here. Or at least, he would be.

Kon-Mai stood over him, peering over his body curiously. His skin had returned to a more normal tone, his face slightly flush from the warmth of the room. His knuckles and joints did seem to be a bit chafed, but that was superficial and would likely pass. Tygan, though incredibly miffed at her brother for his...relative carelessness, had managed to work with what he was given, and Zhang was likely to come out of this with all his insides where they were supposed to be. That was thankful. He’d need them.

She wondered how old he was. From what she knew, Zhang had appeared to ADVENT already an old man, but there was no way a frail old timer could survive what he had. Unless…

Something must have been very special about him. It would explain why ADVENT kept him so secret, even from their own Chosen.

Kon-Mai pondered the thought. Come to think of it, there was so much she did not know. Some things she had never known. The Elders never told her, and she never questioned. Yet some thoughts seemed to echo in her mind, like imprints of old memories, but without her chip, that was all they were. Imprints. A few lines of code here, a mountain range there, the walls of a black building, a clone...

Zhang’s body jolted beside her, and she felt him scoot away, or at least try to while hooked up. She looked up to meet his golden eyes, awake and glaring at her in terror.

Kon-Mai bowed her head and knelt beside him, trying to seem as non-threatening as possible, but he still seemed to startle at her presence. She knew he would, but it still hurt to see him panic at the sight of her.

“Colonel Shaojie Zhang.” She said in that raspy, inhuman voice of hers. “I am Sergent Kon-Mai Mordenna. I am…” She hesitated. What was she to XCOM? Was she still a Chosen? Was she a soldier? She finally settled on “I am an agent of XCOM. The Commander instructed me to-”

“You.” He choked out through his oxygen mask.

She startled. “You recognize me?”

“Where am I?” He demanded, beginning to sit up, hissing as the stitches on his abdomen pulled with the movement.

“You’re in XCOM’s flying base, the Aven-” Kon-Mai broke off as Zhang began to tug at the wires, and she grabbed his arms to stop him. “No, Colonel Zhang, you mustn’t do that! You will injure yourself further!”

“Are you truly of XCOM?” He hissed. “Let me go, I need to see the Commander. It is urgent.”

“I am, I assure you! You can tell me, and I shall report to the Commander.” Kon-Mai said.

“No.” He insisted. “Her ears only. I need to see her.”

“She cannot be seen at the moment. And YOU cannot leave-” Kon-Mai did not get a chance to finish.

Zhang threw out his hands in a shove, and a wave of psionic force pushed Kon-Mai away. She flew backward, slamming against the railing of another bed and flipping over, the metal frame landing on top of her. She tried to roll over, and heard her own voice scream out with the pain of doing so. 

Zhang was getting up from his bed, slowly, and grabbed at his IV drip, perhaps intending to pull it out before he decided, smartly, to simply bring it with him. Kon-Mai kicked the bed frame off of her and scurried to her feet, rushing to block the exit. Zhang tried to hit her again, but she was ready and ducked under his blast. It still knocked into her shoulder though, and she stumbled, which gave him the opportunity to grab a nearby tray and attempt to hit her with it. 

Kon-Mai raised her arm, blocking his blow from hitting her in the head, but he swiped his foot across her leg. She tried to roll with the motion, but her back cried out in pain and she slipped back to the ground, hitting with a thud just as footsteps could be heard from outside in the hall, running towards them at breakneck speed.

“What the hell is going on?!” Bradford cried, and Kon-Mai felt a much stronger pulse than anything Zhang had put forward. Someone reached down and scooped her into their arms, and she looked up at her big brother as he stared down in horror at her condition.

“Dhar-Mon, I am fine.” She assured him, but her voice was weaker than she expected. “The Colonel simply...caught me off guard.”

“How DARE you strike my sister!” Dhar-Mon turned and bellowed at Zhang, who was currently focused on Bradford. In fact, he didn’t even look up until Dhar-Mon growled like an angry dog, and even then, Zhang did not seem intimidated.

“I don’t have time for this.” Zhang snapped. “Bradford, I need to speak with you and Senuna.”

“Hold the fucking phone.” Bradford snapped. “First of all, hello Zhang, nice to see you too. Second of all, you just ASSAULTED one of my soldiers, and finally, get your ass back in bed! That’s an order!”

While Kon-Mai simply chuckled at this, Zhang looked absolutely flabbergasted by Bradford’s display of authority, to the point that he seemed completely frozen and speechless.

“Back in bed.” Bradford said again. “Then we’ll talk. And the Commander is busy.”

“I need her to hear this.” Zhang growled. “Believe me, Bradford. It’s of great importance.”

“Well then, I’ll just go grab her out of the fucking shower. I’m sure she’ll appreciate that.” Bradford growled. “No. It can wait. Ass. Bed. Now.”

Too bewildered to argue, Zhang complied, getting back into bed in a half-sitting position.

“Brother. I am alright.” Kon-Mai assured Dhar-Mon, who was still holding her. “You may release me…”

“I could hear you scream from my quarters, Sister.” He replied. “And it was so painful I could feel your injury in my own bones. I will not let you down until I know you are well.”

“Oh? And when will you know that for certain?” She chuckled and leaned against his chest.

“Central.” Dhar-Mon stood at attention. “Permission to take my sister to her room.

“Granted.” Bradford chuckled. “There’s ice packs in the bar, if you need any.”

As they left the room, Kon-Mai glanced over Dhar-Mon’s shoulder. Zhang was staring at them intently, looking like he wanted to say something. But  alas, he remained silent.

.

.

The garage door peeled open slowly, and the cool night air hit Gur-Rai full force. He took a deep breath, pulling his hood closer around him. “You smell that, Lily? That smells like adventure!”

“Right?” Shen crossed her arms. “I’ve always been a night owl. That’s the one thing I do appreciate about the city centers: they got rid of so much light pollution.” She pointed up. “Look at all those stars!”

He chuckled. “If you think that’s impressive, wait till you see the planets that orbit them.”

Shen’s face lit up. “Seriously?”

“Oh yes.” He smirked, wheeling the bike out onto the open grass. “You believe in aliens, don’t you?”

“Yeah yeah, smart ass.” She chuckled and took the other handlebar, helping him push it to a semi-recognizable road. “These old roads are so...haunting, under the starlight.”

“Did you ever see Uruguay before it looked like this?” Gur-Rai asked. “When it was actually inhabited?”

“Nope. I saw Mexico once though!” Shen chirped.

“Your father’s work, I assume?”

“Kinda, but not really. It was for the Commander’s wedding-” She broke off, her face going pale.

“The Commander’s what now?” Gur-Rai’s bald brows shot up.

Shen kept her mouth shut, only smiling at him before turning her gaze back to the bike.

“You said her wedding?” He leaned forward. “She had a wedding, Lily?”

“Yep.” Shen pressed her lips into a thin line.

“No, Lily, don’t leave me hanging like that!” Gur-Rai leaned over the bike. “The Commander is married?!”

“Uh...it’s complicated.” Shen coughed.

“Well, I’ll say! Who did she marry?”

Shen scoffed “I don’t remember his name, Gur-Rai. I was six!”

“Well, you have to remember something! One doesn’t just forget the COMMANDER of XCOM getting MARRIED!”

“Look, I remember taking a lot of pictures and not being able to breathe in the dress my mom made me wear!” She cried. “I sure as hell don’t remember her husband’s name.”

“But it was a man?”

“Pretty sure.”

“Hm.” Gur-Rai pursed his lips. “I always assume she played the other team...well, she really is full of surprises then.”

“She never brings him up.” Shen said. “And, seeing as he’s not here?” Shen raised an eyebrow and waited for him to make the connection.

“Isn't that a love story for the ages!” Gur-Rai sighed wistfully. “Doomed lovers separated by war, torn apart by duty to their cause and an evil like the worlds has never known! Will fate ever smile down on them? Will they ever be-”

“Hey, cut it out.” Shen snapped. “If you’re trying to squeeze more info out of me, I already said I don’t remember. And have you seen the Commander when she gets upset? I wouldn’t ask her about it, Gur-Rai, so just drop it.”

“Oh but Lily, the drama!”

“No, seriously.” She said, her face pleading. “I don’t want to hurt her like that. She’s been through so much already.”

Gur-Rai’s smile dropped. “I won’t, Lily. If it’s that serious…”

“Yeah...good.” She sighed. “I’m...sorry. I kinda snapped at you there.”

“No, no, I should apologize.” He patted her back. “I’m sorry, Lily. I shouldn't be prying into things like that.”

“Oh shut up, you drama queen.” Shen smirked. “Let’s get this thing out on the track, ok?”

.

.

Kon-Mai pouted as her brother carried her down the hall toward her room. “I can walk perfectly fine, Dhar-Mon.”

“I will take no chances with your health.” Dhar-Mon insisted, his loud voice booming in the empty hallway.

Kon-Mai rolled her eyes. “He did not hit me that hard.” She chuckled. “The bed did most of the work.”

“The impact could have broken your back!” Dhar-Mon asserted. “No, it is better you do not try to walk on an aggravated injury!”

“Would you do this with Gur-Rai?” She asked. “Is it because I am so young?”

“Of course I would do this for him!” He scoffed. “And you two are both incredibly young. As your eldest brother, it is my job to protect you!”

Kon-Mai fell silent at that. “Your job?”

“Of course.” He said calmly. “If it were Gur-Rai in this predicament, I would bear his scrawny little body to bed as well.”

She didn’t know what to say to that, but something about it sat ill with her. It felt strange to be curled in her big brother’s arms like a child. Strange, but not exactly bad.

She pressed her face into his shoulder as he opened the door to her room. “Rest here, Sister.” He said as he laid her gently on her large bed, stopping her as she went to rise from it. “Would you like anything? Some water perhaps?”

“Well, if you are going to insist I bind myself to this bed, then yes, I would welcome some water.” She chuckled, as he took the glass already at her beside and went to fill it at the sink. She turned onto her side, her back still aching but the pain subsiding slowly as the fresh injuries faded into bruises. She had to admit, her throat was a tad sore.

“Take this, you insolent child~” Her brother mumbled, chuckling, as he came back to her. Instead of just leaving it, he put a hand to her back and directed her to sit up, handing her the water and ensuring she drank.

“Why do we still drink?” She said as she handed the now half-empty glass back to her brother. “We do not need food, why water?”

“Psionic energy can compensate for many things.” Dhar-Mon took the glass and left it beside her on the table. “But it cannot compensate for moisture. And the Elders could not eliminate that need completely.”

“They could not do many things, under examination.” Kon-Mai chuckled. 

Dhar-Mon sighed, taking a minute to formulate whatever he wanted to say next. He would open his mouth, then close it again and shake his head.

“You are right, Sister.” He finally said. “They couldn’t deliver upon half of what they promised us.”

She reached out and rubbed his arm. “Do not try and justify their actions to yourself. The Elders are incapable of feeling the love you held for them.”

“I try.” He admitted. “But I find the more I try to accept this evil as fact, the angrier I become. Sometimes, it feels even worse to accept that they are morally deprived. It is easier to think I did something wrong.”

Kon-Mai followed his silence with her own, only reaching out to take his hand and give it a gentle squeeze. “I know.” She whispered. “I know the feeling of it. It hurts me, as well, Brother.”

“Please, let us not dwell on this.” He stood up. “Do you need anything else?”

“Hand me some of the fabric over there, and my pins.” She smiled. “If I am now bedbound, I’m going to get to work on making you those shirts.”

“And Gur-Rai his trousers.”

“Ah, yes. I need to get his measurements…” She sighed.

.

.

Senuna threw on her blue cardigan, buttoning the front few buttons just as the door slid open. Bradford wheeled Shaojie Zhang inside, toting his IV drip behind him. The old man looked like he was on death’s door still, but upon seeing Senuna, his face lit up.

“Sunny.” He whispered. “It really is you.”

“Chilong!” She vaulted over her desk and sprinted up to him, kneeling down and reaching out for his hands, as though she were afraid to touch him.

“Come now, is that any way to greet an old friend?” He held his arms open, and she smiled and dove into his grasp, leaning into his hug.

“It’s been so long.” She whispered. “There’s so much I have to tell you.”

“And there is much I must tell you.” Zhang pulled away. “Commander. You will want to sit down for this.”

She furrowed her brow, moving back to her desk as Bradford pushed Zhang in front of it. Jane, ever watchful, sat off to the side on one of her white leather couches, her hands in her lap. Bradford moved to the Commander’s side, reaching for a discarded mug of coffee that had long gone cold.

As soon as everyone was settled, Zhang spoke. “Moira Vahlen is alive.”

Senuna gasped. Bradford dropped his cup of coffee, shattering it on the floor. Even Jane’s stony face twisted into a look of shock and horror. Zhang maintained eye contact with the Commander the whole time, the lines across his face making him look almost angry.

Senuna began to tremble, her lip quivering. “...Are you sure?”

“I’m sure.” He nodded. “I heard she was passing through Triad territory.”

“Stop stop stop.” Bradford raised a hand. “Triad is still operating? Under ADVENT?”

“That is what I heard.” Zhang said. “They’re operating...WITH ADVENT.”

“Christ.” Jane sighed. “That’s what we need right now.”

“If Vahlen was in Triad territory, then…” Bradford closed his eyes, and they could practically smell the gears turning in his head.

“She might not be there on behalf of ADVENT!” Senuna cried. “She might be on the run from them. Or was escaping capture. And it’s the first lead we have.”

“It’s been 25 years.” Jane said. “How did you even get this info, Zhang? I thought they had you locked up.” She glared at him suspiciously.

He sighed. “I understand your concerns. Rest assured I had no love affair with ADVENT.” He growled. “But with the torture of my mind...my powers grew. I heard things.”

“Oh?” Jane’s look did not soften.

“Yes.” Zhang met her gaze. “While my body rotted and festered, my mind grew sharp. Soon enough, Nuwa’s little birds heard my message. And they got you to come to me.”

Senuna was silent, seemingly pondering all of this. “...So the Triad...is loyal to ADVENT?”

Zhang looked up. “No...ADVENT and the Triad work hand in hand.”

“Why?” Senuna raised a brow. “ADVENT is in charge of the world. They don’t need the mafia.”

“They are technically in charge, but their hold on China was never strong.” Zhang admitted. “Triad operatives have made ADVENT’s takeover much...smoother in the past 25 years. Their agents work as members of ADVENT. They hold jobs as governors. They administer finance. And from what I heard, they are beginning to grow dissatisfied.”

Senuna smiled, her teeth glinting in the light. “Then this is our perfect opportunity. The stars have aligned, it’s time for XCOM to get down and dirty.” She stood up. “When you have recovered, Zhang, how would you feel about making contact with the Triad again?”

“I don’t know how welcoming they will be.” He admitted. “But for you, Sunny, I am willing to try.”

“Thank you.” She stepped around her desk again her desk and embraced him in a gentle but firm hug. “I missed you, Chilong.”

“And I you, Sunny.” He patted her back gently with the arm not hooked up to the IV.

.

.

Dhar-Mon had actually hoped his sister would request that he stay with her for a bit. Talking to her was always so much fun, she had a brilliant mind, and her presence was calming. In fact it was perhaps one of the only things that did calm him since his...resignation. He would much rather have spent the afternoon helping her with her projects.

But instead, he was stuck here. In the radio room. Looking at maps.

This assignment had actually been Bradford’s idea. He’d assumed that since Dhar-Mon had set up his stronghold in the most famous church this side of Christendom, he was at least competent in strategy and geography. And, truth be told, Dhar-Mon did KNOW it, he just...found it mind-numbingly boring.

So he sighed, and sat back in the chair that was way too small for him, and stared over the map. He was supposed to scan each area for resistance contacts, or havens trying to get in touch with XCOM. That was coming up empty most places he looked. If they were out there, they were being quiet.

The day felt like it was dragging on, minutes blending into hours. Dhar-Mon leaned back in his chair, blowing a strand of hair away from his face, looking for something that captured his attention. He could find faces in the stucco on the ceiling; he’d done that back at the church when he couldn’t sleep and it was always a good use of his time. But this ceiling was made of metal grates, and there were no faces to find.

As Dhar-Mon leaned back even further, his heart leapt into his chest, and he felt a rush of air as the chair tipped over backward. He waved his arms around, trying desperately to grab something, and something he did indeed grab. Unfortunately, it lifted off the table with him, and he fell backwards onto the floor with a crash.

Dhar-Mon lay there for a moment, rubbing the soreness from his head, but really it was his pride that was hurt more than anything. He grumbled a few words in Etheric that he would have flayed Gur-Rai for saying, and slowly got to his feet, realizing that the object that caused his fall was still in his hand.

He looked down, then lifted it to his face for a closer look. It was a large, brown rectangular box, with black mesh on one side and several dials on the front. On the top was a large power button.

“Curious contraption.” Dhar-Mon set it on the table and stood the chair upright once again, sitting down carefully and making sure not to lean back this time. He stared at the map again for a moment, before his eyes wandered back to the strange machine on the table behind him.

It was dusty and cold, utterly lifeless. Gur-Rai would probably have a field day with it. Gur-Rai would probably know what it WAS for that matter. But Gur-Rai always got to have fun with electronics, and Dhar-Mon had found this one, therefore he should be the one to play with it. It was only fair.

Dhar-Mon grabbed it again and set it on his lap, staring at it. He turned it over, saw nothing, and then set it upright again and pressed the power button.

“HELLO LOVELY LISTENERS, THIS IS YOUR DIVINE DJ-”

The loudness of the noise coming from the machine frightened Dhar-Mon so badly, he flung the box across the room. It landed with a loud thud and skipped a bit, but the extreme clamor continued. He huddled in the chair, staring at it for what felt like an hour.

“AND I’M HERE BRINGING YOU ALL THE BIGGEST HITS FROM BEFORE THIS DAMNED DECADE!” The sound was far too loud, but now that he wasn’t startled, Dhar-Mon was more intrigued by this strange noise maker. He got up and slowly slunk over to it, reading through each of the buttons as he got closer. He tried turning one, and the noise turned to static for a moment but it did not get any less loud. The one right next to it, however, brought the volume to an acceptable level.

“Anybody remember the early 2000’s?” The DJ said, his voice now at a level Dhar-Mon could listen to without cringing. “I was just a little kid back then, but man oh man, those were some good times. Stealing my sister’s rubber bracelets, diaries with voiced passwords, we thought that was the future.” The DJ chuckled with nostalgia as Dhar-Mon set the box down on the table again.

“Well here’s a classic from all the way back in 2009! My momma used to play this on the radio all the time...heh, she never caught the double meaning. Here’s Britney Spears in “If U Seek Amy.”

The music started off slow, with a high pitched woman’s voice singing the tune, but Dhar-Mon startled once again as the beat suddenly dropped. It was a pounding, rhythmic melody, and he almost turned the volume back down until she started singing again.

Oh baby, baby, have you seen Amy tonight? Is she in the bathroom, is she smokin' up outside? Oh baby, baby, does she take a piece of lime For the drink that I'mma buy her, do you know just what she likes?

At first, Dhar-Mon bristled. This was the kind of music Gur-Rai would listen to, and he took anything that boy recommended with several grains of salt. But he found, as the melody continued, the beat was rather catchy, and the music, combined with the woman’s amazing singing talent, was beginning to loosen his trepidation.

Love me, hate me Say what you want about me But all of the boys and all of the girls Are begging to “If U Seek Amy”

It definitely did not help him pay attention to his task at hand, in fact the music drew his attention away, but with almost no resistance on his part, Dhar-Mon let his mind wander with the beat of the song.

Love me, hate me But can't you see what I see? All of the boys and all of the girls Are begging to F-U-C-K Me

.

.

Malinalli hated days when it wasn’t busy, especially if those days came right after a mission. It meant that something had gone terribly wrong.

She’d helped with Zhang’s clean-up, but the surgery itself Tygan shooed her out of the room for, and he’d been assigned a different recovery nurse. Everyone was talking about this enigmatic new stranger who the Commander put so much stake in, and all the medics wanted to be the one to oversee his care. But his room was locked up tight, save for a few officers. She’d seen Kon-Mai go in there earlier though. Maybe the Shrinemaiden could sneak her in~

The area she was supervising was pretty much empty, save for the occasional soldier coming down for Tylenol or because they found a tick on them or because their tongue was green after they’d eaten three lime popsicles. Malinalli sighed at the empty room as she ran her fingers through the supply cabinet one more time. Some things never changed, from bootcamp trainee to Avenger medic.

She pulled her hair out from it’s bun, rubbing her sore scalp as her natural curls flowed free. As important as it was to ensure the cotton balls were sorted on merit of fluffiness, she figured a fifteen minute break wouldn’t end any lives.

She turned on her heels and began down the hall, her steps a bit off kilter as she closed her eyes and yawned. Maybe she’d get a nap after her shift. But she had promised Dhar-Mon they’d practice more today…

Dhar-Mon. She’d never miss out on a session with him. A flush of warmth came to her cheeks. Of all the girls to get so lucky-

And she cut that thought right there! Dhar-Mon was a friend, and had pretty much just been introduced to life outside a cult. She’d never push something like romance on him, not like that.

Malinalli took a deep breath and straightened her back, shoving those thoughts down. Dhar-Mon was her friend. A very, very good friend, whom she trusted. He was her friend.

As she reached the women’s barracks, she stopped, her ears picking up a faint, almost silent noise.

Of crying.

Malinalli steeled herself. This sometimes happened after a particularly hard mission, and she knew the last one had seen a casualty. Soldiers close to one another would sometimes snap from the pressure.

But as Malinalli rounded the corner, she did not expect to see- “Vicky?”

Her fellow medic sat in a puddle of her own sorrow, her nose and eyes beet red from, presumably, hours of crying. Her usually neat little buns were hanging loose by her neck, and she hadn’t even taken off her uniform, still from that fateful mission.

At the sound of Malinalli’s voice, Vicky lifted her head, staring up at her with melancholic brown eyes. Malinalli almost staggered at the sight of this usually cold, bitchy nurse with an ego the size of Earth, now crumpled on the floor.

She thought of asking Vicky what had happened, but something told her the death of Shamil Naumov had something to do with it. Instead of saying anything, she sat beside her colleague, offering her some comfort even though they had never been close. Malinalli reached out, not quite touching her, but offering her a hand.

“If you want to talk about it, I’m here.”

“It’s not fair!” The floodgates opened again, and Vicky began to bawl. “It’s not fair! I tried so hard, Molly!”

“I know.” Malinalli put a tentative hand on her back. “It’s not your fault.”

“Tell that…” She hiccuped. “Tell that to the Commander!”

“The Commander? Vicky, what happened?”

Vicky began to sob harder, to the point that Malinalli couldn’t understand a word she was saying.

“Vicky, hey, take a deep breath.” She patted her back. “Please, you’re gonna make yourself sick crying like that.”

“She’s making me go! I don’t wanna go!” Vicky said, continuing to wail.

Malinalli furrowed her brow. “Making you go...where?”

“Off the ship! She said...she fired me, Molly!”

Malinalli gasped, a numb feeling of shock settling over her bones. The Commander fired Vicky? “Why?”

“Because I…” Vicky’s sobs were turning to sniffles. “I was trying to save Shammy…”

“Are you kidding?” Malinalli scoffed. “That...that’s…” She clenched her fists and took a deep breath. “That isn’t right.”

“She said because of me Zhang…” She couldn’t finish the sentence. The tears began again. “Molly...Shammy was like...he was all I had…”

“I...I know.” Malinalli squeezed her shoulder. “Shamil was an amazing person, and he wouldn’t stand for you being treated this way…” She stood up. “Wait here for me.”

Vicky looked up at her. “What are you going to do?”

Malinalli pondered that for a moment. “Either to get you your job back, or to get kicked off the Avenger myself.”

.

.

Shen let out an ear splitting scream as Gur-Rai’s bike flew over a bump in the path. He revved the engine and leaned forward, the wheels gliding back onto the dirt like it was butter.

“THIS IS AWESOME!” Shen dug her nails into his jacket, and Gur-Rai laughed.

“Just you wait, Lily!” He chuckled as he sped up, the wind whipping past his face and a smile on his lips.

“WHERE ARE WE GOING?!” Shen screamed in his ear as he headed straight for a large, conspicuous pile of dirt off the side of the road.

“Hang on!” He called back to her, and floored the pedal. He had no idea how fast he was going, but this was the most excitement he’d felt since XCOM had come knocking on his door.

“GUR-RAI!” Shen screeched and buried her head in his shoulder. “NONONO!”

At the last second, he pulled up, the front wheel lifting from the ground and colliding with the dirt pile. The bike zoomed to the top and flew into the air, Shen screaming the entire time, and Gur-Rai let out a whoop and a holler as they came back down with a thunk.

“Stop! Stop for a second!” Shen pulled on his jacket. As she wished, Gur-Rai pulled over, and Shen sprang off the seat and sprinted into the weeds, stopping only as she bent over and hurled into the grass.

“Oh, stars.” He put the kickstand down and jogged over to her, brushing her short hair out of her face as she continued blowing chunks. “I’m sorry. Never doing THAT again, that’s for sure.” He patted her back. “I’m sorry, Lily.”

She coughed, spat, and waved nonchalantly. “That...was so fun!”

Gur-Rai blinked. “...You just made your insides your outsides.”

“Yeah. I mean it was fucking terrifying.” Shen shrugged. “But that was the most fun I’ve had in AGES!.”

Gur-Rai chuckled. “And this is why I hang with you, Lily.”

“Thanks, same to you.” She caught his hand in a tight shake and pointed to the grassy area not covered in her puke. “Mind if we sit for a bit? My legs are wobbly.”

“Of course.” He plopped down in a shorter patch, and Shen laid down beside him on her back. There was a brief moment of comfortable silence between the two.

“Man, I really do love the stars out here.” Shen sighed. “Now if only humanity didn’t have to be enslaved to get this clear a sky.”

“One of these days I’m taking you up in a spaceship.” He said. “You’d LOVE the stars you see up there.”

She looked over to him. “You’ve been in spaceships?”

“Oh yes. A few times.” He laid back beside her. “Not often, we could teleport back then, but I got to go up in a couple scout ships.” Shen was silent for a moment, and he took the opportunity to interject. “What about you, Lily?”

“Have I...been in a spaceship?”

“No.” He chuckled. “I mean, what about you, Lily? What brought you here? What made you want to save the world?”

She hesitated. “Well like I said, before, Dad worked for XCOM...and I guess I wanted to be near his memory.”

“But you’re not your father, Lily.” He looked her over.

She fell very quiet. “...No...sometimes I worry about that.”

“About what?”

“That I don’t measure up.” Shen answered so quietly he could barely hear her. “Sometimes...I dunno. It’s stupid.”

“No, no.” Gur-Rai turned over on his side, facing her. “Sometimes what?”

Shen hesitated. “Sometimes, I still feel like a dumb teenager who just wandered in here. Like I don’t actually belong…” She sat up and threw her arms around her legs. “Like, my dad had a doctorate in Engineering and Artificial Intelligence. I’m just some kid who puts parts together, and makes things run good.”

“Oh hang on now.” Gur-Rai sat up and grabbed her shoulder. “The FAMOUS Lily Shen is not just some dumb kid slamming parts together.”

“I feel like it, sometimes.” She whimpered. “I feel like everyone else is so important and I just...don’t belong. My dad should be here.”

“Your dad was a brilliant man, I will not deny. But YOU are just as brilliant, Lily, if not MORE!” He jumped to his feet. “Look at that bike!”

“Yeah…?”

“You built that bike!”

“WE built that bike.”

“Yes but you knew EXACTLY how to make it run smoothly. If that was all me? It would have exploded the first bump it hit!” He sat down again. “Whatever. Here’s my point: you do your job better than anyone else on this ship, Lily. Fuck the doctorate, doesn’t mean shit anyway, at least not in ADVENTLAND.”

She looked up at him with shiny eyes. “...You serious?”

“Lily. Some of what you built rivals ADVENT tech.” He clapped. “That...that’s INSANE. You gave THE ELDERS a run for their money. You are flipping incredible as an engineer, and I’m so happy I’m on your team now because you could kick my ass without lifting a finger.”

She chuckled. “Well, yeah, THAT’S true.” She winked. “Although I bet I could get in a few good hits myself.”

“Well then I challenge you to a duel. Later.” He grabbed her hands and hauled her to her feet. “Look here, I call you Dr. Shen not because of a piece of paper, but because what you’ve done makes you a certified genius.”

Shen rubbed the back of her head and kicked the ground. “...Thanks...Gur-Rai.”

“Anytime, Lily.” He winked.

“No, I mean it.” She stepped forward and wrapped her arms around his torso, squeezing him in a tight hug.

“I never assumed you didn’t.” He chuckled and patted her back. “Hey. Why don’t you drive us home?”

She scoffed. “Me, drive? Are you kidding?”

“Of course not. Go on, Doctor.” He grinned.

She punched him in the arm and sauntered over to the bike. “If we crash, it’s your fault.”

“Always is, Lily, it always is.”

.

.

Malinalli sucked in a breath as she stood outside the Commander’s room. It was always so nerve-wracking going in there. Even though the Commander was only ever sweet and kind to her, she was also very high strung. One wrong word and she might blow up in your face.

But she had to do this.

She reached for the door and knocked. After a bit of clunking on on the other side, it slid open and Bradford stood there. “Oh, hello Molly.”

“Um…” She stammered. “Is the Commander busy?”

“She’s finishing up meeting with Zhang right now.” He said. “But I can tell her-”

“Is that Malinalli?!” The Commander called from inside, and Bradford sighed.

“Yes.”

“Tell her to come in! Molly, come in!” Senuna called. Malinalli heard the Commander say something else, addressing Zhang, but the words were muffled.

“She is on the ship? That’s dangerous, Sunny.” Another voice whispered, deep and accented, and somehow familiar? That must have been Zhang.

Malinalli stepped inside and saluted Commander Senuna, who giggled and returned it. The medic gazed around the room, and her eyes fell on the old man sitting in the chair, still in his hospital gown, still connected to the IV drip.

“Colonel Zhang.” She saluted him. “It’s...nice to finally meet you. I’m Malinalli...Zúñiga…” She watched in confusion as he seemed to say her last name under his breath. Had she imagined that?

Zhang bowed awkwardly around what Malinalli was sure was a sore wound. “Hello Malinalli, it’s an honor to meet you as well...Senuna has told me so much about you.”

Malinalli smiled in confusion. “Oh...that’s wonderful.” She glanced up in bewilderment at the Commander, who smiled with a hint of sadness in her eyes.

“What did you need, sweetie?” Senuna asked.

“Um…” Now came the hard part. Malinalli swallowed and took a deep breath. “Madam, I’m here to discuss Vicky’s termination. I don’t think it was right.”

The tension in the room grew cold and stiff, and Bradford slunk back to Senuna’s side, seeking to prepare himself for the explosion that was brewing.

Senuna’s green eyes turned cold. “Oh?”

Malinalli was shaking like a leaf, but she forced her voice out. “I understand she performed...poorly-”

“Poorly is an understatement.” Senuna snapped. “She completely disregarded her duty as a soldier. Ask Colonel Zhang. HE was the one she was meant to save.”

Malinalli looked to Zhang. His eyes were plastered onto her, watching her every move. She felt like she was on the verge of shattering.

“Madam...she was scared.” Malinalli whispered. “Sometimes...the best of us break. It happens in battle. I’ve seen good, strong soldiers lose their cool in the stress of combat. Even I’ve done it before.”

“You never left a soldier to die, Molly.”

“I don’t know about that...” Malinalli met Senuna’s eyes, turquoise meeting aquamarine. “People have died under my care before...I’ve frozen up, sometimes when I couldn’t afford to. Maybe some of them I couldn’t save, but some...if I’d just had my wits about me, maybe they’d still be here.”

Senuna seemed to ponder that. “That being said, this was not just a soldier. This was Zhang. Vicky understood how important he was to retrieve alive.”

“I know. And I’m not saying she shouldn’t be punished. She should.” Malinalli held her hands out in a pleading motion. “But...please Madam, give her another chance.”

“And if she fails again? If she freezes in the field? If she lets another soldier DIE?” Senuna snapped, and Malinalli swore her eyes were glowing.

“Then I’ll take responsibility and you can demote me as you see fit!” This part made Malinalli scream internally, but it was a gamble she had to take. The Commander had to know she was serious. “If you truly decide to terminate Vicky’s employment with XCOM, I won’t question you. But...I think she’s capable, Madam. She just needs a second chance.” She glanced over to Zhang, and noticed a slight smile on his face.

Senuna sat in utter quiet for a moment, and Malinalli feared the worst.

Then she took a breath and spoke. “You make a good point, little one.” She shrugged. “And really, we can’t afford to lose any good medics…” She tapped her glittery nails on the desk. “Fine, I’ll reinstate her employment, but she will be demoted to Squaddie, and I’ll need her to go through at least 100 hours of training before she sees combat again.” She laced her fingers together. “And maybe a written apology for her behavior. I don’t know. I’ll think on that~”

Malinalli physically sighed, letting out the breath she’d been holding. “Thank you! Thank you so much, Madam! Thank you, thank you!”

Senuna smiled. “Oh Malinalli, anything for you sweetheart.” She pressed a button on her intercom. “Would Victoria Immanuel please report to the Commander’s Quarters? The Commander needs to speak to her.”

Malinalli saluted Senuna and turned to leave, glancing one last time at Zhang. His golden eyes still following her, he nodded slightly, the smile on his face growing into a knowing smirk.

The door closed behind her.

.

.

“That was ‘I Gotta Feelin’” by the Black Eyed Peas! Always were a favorite of mine.”

Dhar-Mon hadn’t even realized he’s been staring at the same spot on the map for 15 minutes straight. He was lost in the songs. The music was captivating, his mind would go miles a minute with the beat of each one. It felt like he was reading a book, but each word had orchestral accompaniment.

He reached over and turned up the volume just as the DJ began to speak again. “Now for our next song: if you were alive before 2015, you’ll know this voice. Maybe not the song, but hell, you’ll know the singer. This is ‘Porcelain’ by the woman who needs no introduction!”

Dhar-Mon listened closely, the beats beginning soft, the tune syncing to the squeaking of chains. Then he heard her voice.

Hold your horses Hold, hold the border Don't come closer Don't, don't let go of me

It sounded so incredibly familiar, but in any case, it was beautiful. Her words carried with them such emotion, it nearly crippled him.

I'm like porcelain When you're with me All, all I know is

Just about a million ways to harm you All the things I shouldn't say Are the things that, when I want to make you happy Only comes out of me

This one didn’t feel like the others. The beat drew up again and became faster, but something about the music was agonizing and melancholic and so, so sad. Whoever this woman was was hurting when she wrote this, when she sang this.

We have got the power of destruction You can always let it fall But when we try to work on something solid It is too goddamn hard

He took a breath and knew he should probably turn this off. He’d been sitting here for too long anyway, he had to get back to work. But he could not bring himself to move his hand, to reach for the power button to turn off the machine.

Why did this song make him think on Malinalli’s face?

The song trailed off and ended just as he reached for the button, and Dhar-Mon froze as the DJ spoke again.

“That was ‘Porcelain’ by the lady, the lovely, the legend, Senuna.”

.

.

.

.

.

(After that last chapter, some things needed to be sorted out. I’d say it all turned out better. At least I hope it did!

I REALLY need to thank @pgirl1986 for helping me with Zhang’s characterization. She was the one who inspired me to add him with how she wrote him! Thank you for all the help! d=(´▽｀)=b

Songs used are “If U Seek Amy” by Britney Spears and “Porcelain” by Skott.)

Archive: chosenstories.tumblr.com/

[romanosgirl1978]

Title TBD II

Okay. So i know its been a long ass time... but Ive had this for almost a year now and quite a bit of progress. So I wanted to post it. Also, as always, thank you @fan-grell-411 for all your help throughout this thing.

This is my first ( i think) Star Trek fic that I’ve posted.

Bones x Reader

Warnings-Cursing

Word Count -1214

Summary- Reader is Jim’s twin and falls for a certain southern doctor. Will they be able to make it through the self-sacrifices and secrets? {Extreme slow burn. This will not be a quick thing}

“So how’d you do?” You asked him as you walked out of the testing facility. You and your brother had both just finished taking Starfleet’s aptitude test.

“Its an aptitude test (Y/N). It's not something that you can fail,” Jim says. “But I think that I did pretty well. The questions seemed fairly simple. What about you, resident genius? How’d you do?”

“Please, you're just as smart as I am. You just choose to act like an idiot.”

“Says the one who stole a police hoverbike and re-registered it,” he whispers in your ear, nodding to the very same bike that you drove to the test today.

“The improved bike that no one is even suspicious about. And besides, I'm not the one that keeps getting into fights. That's all you Jimmy boy.”

“Tch, that's besides the point. Anyway, how do you think you did?”

“As good as I can, I don't really know. Hopefully good enough to get out of this damn town,” you mutter, swinging a leg over the bike.

“You gonna leave me here all by myself, sis?”

“Damn right. Can't stand being near you,” you joke, winking at him as you pull your hair out of your face.

“Yeah yeah. You gonna be home tonight?” He asks, voice suddenly serious.

You nod. “I should be. I'll send a message if anything changes though.”

He wraps an arm around your shoulders and kisses the top of your head. “Be safe.”

“Never,” you grab the wireless headphones and put them in, starting your favorite riding playlist, before revving the bike and driving out of the parking lot.

A short drive later brings you to the sketchier part of your little town and into the tattoo parlor.

“Back so soon sweetheart?” The owner, Matt, asks when he sees you walk in.

You smile at him. “Sure am. I just finished my aptitude test and wanted to finish off the rose before I get shipped to Starfleet.”

“You got accepted already?” He asks, shocked but proud.

“No. It's not official yet. But I think I did and there's no way in hell I’m letting anyone else finish your masterpiece.”

“How long have I got you for then?”

You grin at him. “Until you finish. We’re completing it today. What do you say, you up for it?” You ask, holding up the oversized tee-shirt you always brought for your sessions.

“You’re on. Think you can handle the pain sweetheart?”

“Have I ever not been able to?”

“Come on,” he heads back to his work station and sets your chair up, patting it once he's done. “Go ahead and change, get comfortable. Call me when you're ready,” he smiles at you before walking out, letting you change and shift around.

“Alright Matty. I’m ready.”

“You're sure about this?” He asks one last time.

“It's a bit late for that dont you think,” you say, lifting the shirt to the top of your hip to show an outline of a rose from your last session here. “I mean we've already got the outline for it done.”

“Alright then, let's finish it.” He pulls his chair up beside you and tests the machine a couple of times before steadying your leg. “Let me know if I need to stop for a minute so you can catch your breath alright? No toughing it out for the whole session this time. It's gonna take a few hours to shade all of this.”

You nod at him. “I promise Matt. Now let's get started.”

“Ma’am yes, ma’am,” he teases and starts shading, the only thing that keeps you from hitting his shoulder.

Through the whole four hours that it takes to shade you only need to take three breaks, mostly to use the bathroom, and it's over.

“All done sweetheart,” Matt says, dabbing a paper towel at the excess ink that surrounds the rose, cleaning it up the best he can. “What do you think?” He asks a bit nervously.

You slide out of the chair, wincing a little when you put too much weight on your leg, and limp over to the full length mirror.

“Oh wow.” You blink a few times and admire the artwork. “Matty. This… this is beautiful.” You turn to him, tears in your eyes. “I seriously can't thank you enough. I love it.”

He beams and nods. “I’m glad. Hope you don't mind the vines and thorns I added. I thought that it fit with the rose, and with you.”

“Of course I don't mind. It's your artwork. And it's just… it really is perfect Matt.”

You walk over to him and give him a hug. “And just so you know. I will never go to anyone else for a tattoo. It will always be you.”

“Thank you, (Y/N). That means a lot to me. But I’m really glad you like it. Would you mind if I got a picture of it for my portfolio?”

“Have I ever said no to that?” You tease, wiping the tears from your eyes as you pull away from him.

“Jump back up on the chair and I’ll go grab the camera.”

You do as he says and take a deep breath.

He snaps a few quick pictures and lets you pull on some sweats.

You leave him a nice sized tip and give him one last hug before you leave, finally headed back home.

You park your bike in the garage and quietly sneak in through the back door, heading straight up to Jim’s room, knocking on the door quietly before slipping in.

“Hey. You still up?” You ask quietly.

“Yeah I’m still up,” he groans. “Been waiting on your sorry ass to get home.”

He sits up in the bed and slides back against the headboard, giving you enough room to sit down. “What the hell took you so long?”

You sit down and grin up at him. “I finally finished it.”

“Finished what?”

“The rose. The tattoo that I got the outline for like a month ago. I got it shaded today.”

His eyes widen and he looks to the door. “You’re joking right? Jack’s gonna flip when he finds out,” he whispers harshly.

“Relax,” you tell him, rolling your eyes. “He’s not gonna find out. It's in a covered place and I’ll hopefully be leaving for the fleet in a few weeks. If he ever does find out it's gonna be too late.”

“I can't believe you actually got a tattoo,” Jim mumbles.

“A few actually,” you correct.

“A few?!”

“Shhh. You're gonna wake someone up.”

“How many do you have?”

“Just three, including the rose. I’ve been getting them for months now. And he's not gonna find out about them. Plus they won't show in the uniform so I won't have to worry about it being unprofessional either.”

He runs his hand through his, already messy, blond hair.

“And they call me the trouble kid,” he fumes.

“I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. It's cause you get caught and I don't,” you grin at him and kiss his cheek. “Night J. I’ll see you in the morning.”

“Night,” he sighs, laying back down as you head down the hall and into your own room, muttering an ‘unbelievable’ before you shut his door completely.

[dear-space-cadet]

al horford sleeper agent

—————

anyway by now ive told basically everyone i care about but i had a life changing experience over the weekend. n it sounds dumb as shit but i met a real life dude who was basically a clone of nick from franz. weird hours. guess this is a thread

before we start i want to say i havent thought about franz in weeks. theyve gone away on their own finally but really i think my old obsessions just get replaced every few years and maybe it was my hard work in therapy or my new obsession with rap or

maybe it was just a realization or me growing up and maturing or something but i dont even want to work on my favorite fanfics anymore or anything. it’s just odd. i think im changing

and i don’t think about how my former favorite band members are doing or worry about them or check their socials n it feels really good. but i know there probably is or probably will be a replacement

ok that was a tangent. if they were replaced by anything they were replaced by new friends and the NBA. so there’s the exposition of this story sorted

anyway back to the weekend. the sleeper agent invited me to lunch. and that was the catalyst. god people are being so loud in here let me go to the art library

anyway i just kind of realized "huh i guess there's more out there." i went to lunch n shit. WE went to lunch n shit. stopped caring so much about my math homework. let myself be dumb and in love

that’s a very human thing. lunch. he spilled his stupid chipotle burrito all over his stupid bright green celtics jacket

he’s from italy. never even stepped foot in a chipotle. immediately clowned himself. some world we live in

we hung out all weekend. we went to lunch like two more times and we went to dinner. there was this big threat of leaving looming over my head the whole time. i made him walk like a mile on crutches and i feel very bad about it

i don’t know what’s wrong with him. it’s somewhere between a basketball injury and a chronic disability. either way that just made me feel even more emotionally attached to him. i never saw him without the celtics jacket

it was so cold that weekend. or maybe i just didn’t bring the right jacket. if he were a gentleman he would have offered me the celtics jacket. i didnt even hug him goodbye

and then of course he went back home. theres a million girls all over his instagram comments all the time. theres nothing special about me. he doesn't want to talk. i wrote my ap psych notes in green yesterday bc i was so in love with that stupid celtics jacket

im a sixers fan. the sixers and the celtics have been rivals forever. it was about to be war, except i want to move to boston. but really i want to move to dc. i wish the whole world was philly. things would be less complicated

im in love with a celtics jacket. a celtics jacket. of all teams. and i cant even talk to my basketball friends about it because they think im dumb shit for falling for some celtics fan with a million girls all over his instagram comments all the time

im not like those girls. i don’t think im like those girls. but i definitely exactly am

i have an economics test in fifteen minutes. i think one day ill drown in the atlantic ocean.

the test wasnt that bad. i thought about writing this the entire time. i would just zone out and stare and think about the phrase ‘al horford sleeper agent’

because he has to be. why else would someone put a diehard sixers fan right in front of a diehard celtics fan who looks exactly like the guitarist of their middle school favorite band

in reality i should be calling him a celtics sleeper agent because the whole point is that al horford is a sleeper agent for the celtics. but i hate al horford so i guess it’s more funny to include him in the title

i mean how can one player change so drastically like that? al horford was benched for the first time since his rookie season, like, two weeks ago after being traded to the sixers. how does that happen? why *wouldn’t* he be playing badly so his old friends win the title?

al horford’s gotta be retiring in like, three years, tops. he’s working for the celtics, i know it. and my sleeper agent is trying to convert me to a celtics fan

i understand why people make jokes, though. it’s a very human thing to want to go home. al horford just wants to go home. he lived in boston for however many years let me look it up

god whatever it was only three years i thought it was like eleven that just ruined my point

back to the matter at hand though that’s all we’re trying to do. we all just want to feel at home. we’re all just these little things trying to connect somehow. sometimes we are more desperate than others

i think im pretty desperate right now. sometimes i sit in my bedroom and im like damn when do i get to go home? but im home

i didn’t even want to leave dc. it was all star break and there wasn’t even basketball on. so there i was, in basketball purgatory, wizards territory for some god forsaken reason, losing sleep over a celtics fan and not wanting to go home

and when i say i was losing sleep you better believe me. i was so excited to wake up in the morning that i didn’t want to fall asleep. i wanted to be awake forever, endless, running through the city

i’ll get there soon enough. it’ll be with different people. college, yknow. all that. but sometimes i feel like certain things can’t be replaced.

and im acting like a different person lately. im using my phone at red lights just so i can check for a message from the sleeper agent. it’s always one word responses

yes. ok. maybe. some shit like that. a haha every once in a while. he’s not interested and i should stop trying

and then, INEVITABLY, i send something stupid back, a photo of my hand on the wheel or something, and i get left on read

and i know im stupid for it. everyone i know is screaming at me “disco, you’re dumb shit” but i just want to believe for a minute that im loved, im special

I want to feel like someone out there cares about me that isn’t obligated to, yknow? my mom can say she loves me all she wants but it doesn’t feel as good as some italian celtics fan saying it

some hot italian celtics fan mind you

even if he wasn’t hot or italian it would be nice. and actually it would be better if he liked like, ANY other basketball team

except maybe the knicks

but whatever. main point: i know im dumb shit and should stop trying. but it feels good to feel like if i keep trying maybe i’ll be wanted

sleeper agent is just one of those people tho. he’s magnetic and everyone always wants to be around him. dumb as hell in the most charming way ever. my friends are still all making fun of me

i started crying in a pizza place the other night because even the CONCEPT of italy sent me over the edge. i need to stop before i

wait what’s the word

i need to stop before i immortalize him? no, no

i need to stop before i deify him. soon enough he’s going to be a new canonical character in my head and i’ll start making up legends and stories to myself

we barely knew each other. if i deify him i’ll start telling people he offered me the celtics jacket when it was cold out. he’ll become a perfect gentleman. and he wasnt. he was just some stupid hot italian boy in a bright green jacket

im not going to deify him. it won’t happen. but i love the color green. i always say i love yellow more but i think that’s passed. i wear a green ring on my right ring finger every day. im not going to deify him and i still hate the celtics

overall, the celtics are winning the rivalry. i don’t think the sixers have ever truly been “great,” at least outside of philly. maybe allen iverson. wilt chamberlain. dr j? theyve never had like, a dynasty. idk. i don’t think you’d be able to get a sixers jacket in italy.

it’s his birthday today. i should probably text him. i should probably stop thinking about him. that’s just dumb shit, disco youre better than this what happened to a little self confidence every now and again

sure lets say external validation isnt necessary but also i think that’s something the mindfulness crowd made up to sell more planners and tote bags in 2011. it feels good to be wanted

never waste all your time on it sure. know youre still worth it even when you have no friends and there are a million girls all over his instagram comments. but it does feel good to hear “goodness disco i like how much you like the philadelphia 76ers”

my friends are all making fun of me for being on some romeo and juliet shit because he’s literally from verona and he’s a celtics fan and im a sixers fan god damn it disco why does this always happen

i never even read romeo and juliet but i saw the dreamworks adaptation so i guess ive got the story relatively right i know they die in the end. the gnomes shatter into little pieces i think

anyway tangents aside the sixers won tonight. philly is lit up green. why the hell is philly lit up green? the eagles were done like three months ago and the flyers are orange. why is philly lit up green

oh god, he just snapped me. a zoomed in photo of himself with caption that says “76ers” with like five exclamation points

here we go again, everybody

wish me luck

[comicteaparty]

June 10th-June 16th, 2020 Reader Favorites Archive

The archive for the Reader Favorites chat that occurred from June 10th, 2020 to June 16th, 2020.  The chat focused on the following  question:

How does poor web design affect if and/or how you read a particular webcomic?

carcarchu

it's a huge factor. if a comic is amazing in every way but the website or app makes it difficult for me to read i'm simply NOT going to read it. there are a lot of great series that i've put on the back burner just because the website is so annoying to navigate

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

i've honestly never run into a website so bad it stopped me from reading a comic i was interested in

carcarchu

FYI the worst comic app i've ever experienced is Aqua Kiss which I downloaded to read a single series. it's the most barebones app imaginable with no search bar. if you want to read something you actually have to manually load each calendar week to find it and some stuff are buried dozens of pages back. and to make matters worse it doesn't have a "history" or "bookmarks" feature either

Deo101 [Millennium]

The worst things with sites that I see often are 1: huge headers, and 2: laggy sites (not really site design, but its adjacent I think) Another is if the pages are too big on the screen, so you can't, for instance, see some panels all at once. Those kinds of things can really ruin a reading experience for me

carcarchu

One example of a website that is hostile to the reading experience is ZMYK which for some reason hosts vertical scroll comics but cuts them up into little pieces as if they were comic format so you can't actually scroll through the entire chapter as it was intended to

That kind of thing grinds my gears so much how can something you have to pay for be that incredibly bad

Deo101 [Millennium]

I've also seen some sites that have graphic design issues, where elements are illegible due to their color, and some have very busy and distracting backgrounds. Those kinds of things won't necessarily ruin it, but they're distracting

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

forward comic's website was doing this weird thing where the further I read the longer pages took to load. Near the end it seemed they were taking 10 full seconds. Still read the whole thing though. Reading manga on shady sites with terrible internet connection as a kid has desensitized me

Oh one comic I was interested in but didn't read because of the site: I was kidnapped by lesbian pirates from outer space. It doesn't have a website. To read it you have to pirate (hehe) copies of the archive.

It's a pretty sad story- the author was young and tricked into giving up the rights to her series

She ended up taking the site down to prevent the company from getting any more money off of it

https://rosalarian.tumblr.com/post/65353128180/its-with-extreme-sadness-that-i-announce-that-my

Here's her post about it

I think it can be a good warning message to us

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

For me, the biggest thing that deters me from reading a comic is if the website isn't well optimized for mobile (as someone who reads a lot on the go). This includes the images loading bigger than the page, or navigation being hidden on mobile, or glitchy scrolling, or any number of ungodly things. Also, too many ads. That'll turn me away in a heartbeat.

Deo101 [Millennium]

Yeah ads are definitely a huge turnoff for me too

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

FYI the worst comic app i've ever experienced is Aqua Kiss which I downloaded to read a single series. it's the most barebones app imaginable with no search bar. if you want to read something you actually have to manually load each calendar week to find it and some stuff are buried dozens of pages back. and to make matters worse it doesn't have a "history" or "bookmarks" feature either

@carcarchu okay i just digested this comment and wtf

no search bar is laughably bad omg

how did you even find out about it

Deo101 [Millennium]

Yeah that's ridiculous hahahaha

carcarchu

it's a shame because there are genuinely good comics on there you can't read anywhere else?? and i found it because an artist i adore did a series for it but it got AXED after only 2 chapters and after that was pretty much scrubbed from the internet. i think it's a shame because it really had so much potential and it ended before the story was really able to start

it's a screenshot from the app. you can see that it is categorized reverse chronologically by week

the point of aqua kiss is to emulate monthly/weekly style manga magazines but in app form. however i think the execution of this idea was horrendous

SteffieMusings

Oh no! It must make reading there so challenging. As for me, if the navigation is so hard to understand/pages don't load properly when you click a link or when the website's colours hurt my eyes so much I can't stay there for too long.

Shizamura 🌟 O Sarilho

Honestly nowadays most of the CMS's out there share the same basic functionality and adaptability, so it's getting harder to screw up on that. Most sites are OK, if only a bit laggy. If the site takes less than 2 seconds to load and it's not so crowded that I have to look for the comic, I'm generally good.

Erin Ptah (BICP | Leif & Thorn)

How much bad/inaccessible web design I'll tolerate is directly proportional to how much I care about the comic.

I've dropped a couple series in the middle of the archive just because they changed the site design to screw up the tracking of bookmarking sites, so I would've had to figure out an alternate way to keep track of it, and it didn't seem worth the effort

mariah (rainy day dreams)

Oh yeah, I've totally had that happen too where I was deep into an archive, had taken a reading break for a month or two, and came back to find the urls had been updated and my spot was lost it isn't so bad if a comic also has an archive page, but ive stopped reading a few stories that it would have been too hard to track down where I was.

DaeofthePast

I haven’t had to experience weird websites in a while, but I do sometimes go to an unknown website to read the comic/manga I’m looking for. Mostly what I’ve had trouble with is unnumbered chapters, of that it’s unclear where/how to start reading in general.(edited)

Like, I get to the page for that specific comic and then there’s no easy “start reading here” button anywhere

And when I do find the chapters list, I don’t know which end of the list is the beginning bc it’s unnumbered

chalcara [Nyx+Nyssa]

Is a "First page" button enough or are you looking for a "new readers start here" button? (<- is redisigning her page)

DaeofthePast

Is there a difference? :0

chalcara [Nyx+Nyssa]

hm, sometimes yes.

Some old running comics have different jump-on points (schlock mercenary for example).

DaeofthePast

Ooh I see

Well when I first go on the site, I just want to start reading so idk

snuffysam (Super Galaxy Knights)

So, I always try to read every comic that's featured in the book club all the way through. Like even if I don't particularly like the opening, or if the comic is thousands of pages long, or I don't have time to meaningfully discuss the comic, I do try to at least give the comic a fair shake by reading through the entire archive. There have been four exceptions. One was because of content (it was a gag a day comic, and the content was SO horrible for SO long that I just couldn't stand it anymore. real "punching down" type of humor). Another was because the comic was literally deleted before I could get to it. The remaining two were because the site design/organization were so awful that the comics were unreadable. One of the two comics had a custom built, hand-coded site (I assume), and it just... didn't work properly. Like the "previous" button seemingly took you to a random page, the "next" button and the "latest" button led to the same place, etc. I'm not sure the creator ever bothered to test the site. The other one used some pre-built stuff, so it was ok... but you had to scroll to the top of the page to go to the next page. Not only that, but the author was posting all their comics to the same archive - which means one page would be the comic that was actually meant to be read for the book club and the next few pages were a completely different comic entirely. And this wasn't a gag-a-day either - it was a story based comic, so the three action minimum to get to the next page made things absolute hell to keep track of.(edited)

DaeofthePast

Wow

chalcara [Nyx+Nyssa]

Uff, yeah, that sounds horrible.

Nyx+Nyssa's page is currently a barebone mess, but I made at least sure the navigation works. :/

DaeofthePast

Having the comic be deleted while you’re reading it sounds like such a weird experience lmao

snuffysam (Super Galaxy Knights)

i mean, it wasn't thanos snap style lol

DaeofthePast

Was the website gone too or?

snuffysam (Super Galaxy Knights)

it was in between days

nah the website was still there, it's just that the author had decided to reboot their comic and forgot that they had submitted it to the book club

DaeofthePast

Oh okay I imagined Thanos snap style

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

Not really a design but a site thing: I can't do comics without an archive of some sort. On platforms like Tapas or WT, the episode list serves that purpose perfectly fine. I personally need to be able to see how many pages there are, and I need a way to go to specific pages easily. It might sound like a small complaint, but it's a big thing for me! There have been comics that piqued my interest, but once I saw that there was no archive of any form, I left forever. Sure, I might be missing out, but there are also lots of good comics out there that have accessible archives. My life isn't long enough to read them all, so I'm letting myself be very picky.

copperine

I can manage a very basic site just fine. But if a site is hard to navigate, or just makes reading the page/getting to the next page difficult - I'd be likely to give up eventually. Doesn't matter about the quality of the comic, but if it's a chore to just read it, it's going to put me off after a while

snuffysam (Super Galaxy Knights)

I will note - if you want me to actually discuss your comic in the book club, please do have an archive link, and probably a cast page too. Like the lack of one doesn't stop me from reading entirely, but I can't discuss anything without being able to look back at specific moments. (and one of those archives that just has dates doesn't count - lemme know what the chapter is!)

copperine

For example - when I read webcomics on dA, I was absolutely fine with either the author having a dedicated folder with the pages in order. Another option was to link next and prev pages in the description. But if I had to go find each next page, I just wouldn't.

DaeofthePast

By an archive do you mean kinda like a chapters list?

snuffysam (Super Galaxy Knights)

A list of all the pages, ideally

That also list the chapters somehow

copperine

Short version: if I feel like I'm spending half as much time navigating the site as I am actually reading, it's gonna get old real quick

DaeofthePast

And same copperine. As long as it’s organized well, I will probably read it

snuffysam (Super Galaxy Knights)

Like maybe you click on a chapter link to get to a list of the pages, or maybe it's just a list of the pages with the chapter names as headers

some sort of organization

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

Yeah! (I admit my own comic's archive page isn't the prettiest, but it's 100% functional.)

DaeofthePast

I only have a chapter list so far ^^; idk how to go about getting an archive

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

Chapter list is totally fine if your chapters tend to be on the shorter side

chalcara [Nyx+Nyssa]

I like having chapter lists around, although coding them can be a handful Not sure if to go for an archive with thumbnails or just with page numbers though.

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

It's also workable if you also have like... a dropdown menu for individual pages on the actual pages? So it only takes 2 clicks to go to a specific page (first click to go to the chapter, second click to go to the page)

snuffysam (Super Galaxy Knights)

OH yeah, there was also a dA comic in the book club once that didn't have any next/previous buttons. However, it was a short comic - the bare minimum for getting into the book club - so I still read it all the way through. But it was pretty annoying to do so. (it was also pretty obviously a fetish comic, but that's not really relevant to the discussion XD)

DaeofthePast

I want to post by scene so I’ll be dividing chapters like “chapter 3 part 1” to hopefully that will be better

copperine

I'll always take functional over pretty

DaeofthePast

Haha I’m not sure if I want to know the comic for that one

Also what is “punching down” humor?

snuffysam (Super Galaxy Knights)

Like, the author was a straight man, and nearly every joke was making fun of people who weren't those things.

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

it's like making fun of people but

copperine

Yikes

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

you're intentially trying to put them down

that's punching down in my imo rip

DaeofthePast

Oh

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

yeah....

DaeofthePast

Well at least I know what to call it when I see it in the future ._.

snuffysam (Super Galaxy Knights)

Like, occasionally I see a shitty joke in a comic and I keep reading because maybe the author improved (we do sometimes get comics with archives that date back decades in here) But this comic was just so consistently awful for so long that I couldn't stand it

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

oof that aint good

snuffysam (Super Galaxy Knights)

Though that's kinda off topic lol

DaeofthePast

Oh yeah

So bad site design...

snuffysam (Super Galaxy Knights)

Anyway, I don't really wanna post the examples of the comics I talked about in here cuz I don't wanna call anyone out

Actually, hold on, lemme check something

DaeofthePast

I feel I haven’t had too much experience with bad site designs, but I might have just forgotten(edited)

K

snuffysam (Super Galaxy Knights)

ok yeah

so, the comic where you had to scroll up to the top of each page to click to the next one, and the site was multiple comics alternating pages that made the story rough to follow

copperine

Oof yeah having to scroll up to click next won't stop me but it is a bother

DaeofthePast

I like having the next button both on top and the bottom, even if they update page by page(edited)

It just feels convinient

copperine

Yeah same

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

Re: punching up/down, here's an overly simplistic set of examples: billionaires making fun of poor people is punching down. Poor people making fun of billionaires is punching up.

chalcara [Nyx+Nyssa]

's good webdesign pattern for everything with continous content - e.g. blogs, web-novels, webcomics.

Ideally you have one on top, between content and comments and under comments

snuffysam (Super Galaxy Knights)

the comic that alternated storylines & required scrolling back up to go to the next page was Antibunny: http://vinnied.comicgenesis.com/d/20061002.html if you see that page I linked and click next a few times, there's no obvious distinction between the main story and the spinoff story (no, like, header change between the two, and the art style looks similar), so you can see how it'd be confusing to follow and the scrolling is just icing on the cake (it used to be even worse) the only reason I feel comfortable sharing that is because the author uploaded the comics to new sites, and fixed all those issues in the process: http://antibunny.net/

DaeofthePast

Oh nice. So they realized the problem

copperine

Aren't they in this server? Or am I thinking of another one

snuffysam (Super Galaxy Knights)

Yeah, the author is in this server

copperine

I thought so

snuffysam (Super Galaxy Knights)

Hence why he realized, because we told him that there was a problem during the book club

copperine

I'm not gonna take anything said here as a comment on anyway btw

DaeofthePast

It’s cool that submitting their comic to the tea party resulted in some good feedback :3

copperine

You love to see it!

It always makes me happy when webcomic community stuff helps people out, that seems like the ideal outcome

DaeofthePast

Yess

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

i agree on that yeee

DaeofthePast

It’s like having a friend point out a spelling mistake. Embarrassing but you can live with the knowledge that your work is now a little bit better(edited)

snuffysam (Super Galaxy Knights)

Yeah kinda off-topic, but I love it when the author of the comic for the book club joins the server. Like not only does it mean that the author could join in on others' discussions in the future (pay it forward 'n stuff), but... it's just really sad when I see a comic pop up in the book club and the author seemingly forgot they submitted it.

DaeofthePast

How long does it usually take to get to a comic? :0 that they would forget they submitted it?

copperine

I always hope I can help others out or support them, and I hope they feel the same

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

The book club had a very very long wait list in the past. These days, not so long.

DaeofthePast

And I guess if you submit a comic with a website, the people here can be your beta testers

snuffysam (Super Galaxy Knights)

what's odd is that five months ago, the wait list was six months but now, the wait list is two months y'all need to submit/resubmit your comics

DaeofthePast

I tried going to submit mine yesterday and the site doesn’t let me v.v says you’re booked for July

snuffysam (Super Galaxy Knights)

oh yeah, so it is

DaeofthePast

Maybe later :3

snuffysam (Super Galaxy Knights)

i guess Rebel doesn't want the queue to get too long

copperine

I would submit mine but I'm only at 10 pages and I believe you need to have 20 to submit

DaeofthePast

Ooh they have a minimum?

Gotta count my pages now

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

I mean it makes sense. Hard to discuss a comic that only has the cover for chapter 1

DaeofthePast

XD

Tru

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

"Let us dissect this cover image for an entire week"

DaeofthePast

It would be a hilarious April fools challenge

copperine

Idk I think it was 20 minimum?

DaeofthePast

shrug

copperine

@snuffysam (Super Galaxy Knights) can you shed any light on this

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

The sign up form is where you would normally find that information.

copperine

... very good point

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

But the form is currently unavailable, and it's possible that Rebel might change the requirement when it becomes available again

copperine

Ah

Thank you for the heads up

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

FYI, https://comicteaparty.com/ is where the form will be available eventually

Shizamura 🌟 O Sarilho

They accept resubmissions now?

FeatherNotes(Krispy)

I def like arrows on the top and bottom of pages for sites to be more of a thing, as well as clicking the image for the next page too! Honestly there hasn't been a make or break, mainly preferences, and the most complaints i have are with the mobile formatting. I think most comics have been pretty solid in functionality that i've read, and it's clear that having their own website is becoming mainstream enough for there to be help, tips, and tricks to making it work!

mariah (rainy day dreams)

I definitely prefer if I can just click on the comic image to go to the next page especially for mobile.

copperine

Agreed!

Idk about resubmissions tho

chalcara [Nyx+Nyssa]

... Wow. I absolutely HATE clickable images on mobile, because they usually mess with the pinch-zoom.

FeatherNotes(Krispy)

i've had sites that didnt have image click throughs and the arrow..... was like SO TINY XD

chalcara [Nyx+Nyssa]

Didn't think anyone would actually like it, so... huh.

FeatherNotes(Krispy)

i kept going back and forth

chalcara [Nyx+Nyssa]

yeah, navigation needs to be bigger on mobile for safe tapping.

mariah (rainy day dreams)

Oh, re:resubmissions, I'm pretty sure you can if it's been long enough? I think @snuffysam (Super Galaxy Knights) mentioned it recently as an option. But maybe a tangent for #general

boogeymadam

i dont mind the pinch zoom being a little more difficult from time to time cause usually the clickable image is worth it to me

mariah (rainy day dreams)

Same

boogeymadam

am also fond of sites that allow left/right arrows to let you move forward and back on desktop

mariah (rainy day dreams)

Mainly it's just for like Krispy said, reading on mobile and tiny next/previous buttons.

FeatherNotes(Krispy)

ye my dummy thicc fingers prefer the click through image for sure

ohh yes Boogey that too

boogeymadam

it took me hours of googling to find the very simple comicpress option to just turn that on on my site

copperine

Mmm I do like sites that allow pinch zoom though

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

I also prefer clicking on the image to go to the next page

mariah (rainy day dreams)

My fingers small, but still dummy T-T

copperine

It makes it easier to get a better look at the page

FeatherNotes(Krispy)

iweudhweiu Mariah XD

copperine

Especially if it's got smaller font

chalcara [Nyx+Nyssa]

nyxandnyssa has a seperate navigation for mobile that's much bigger and skipping scene select to make tapping easier.

FeatherNotes(Krispy)

I've had the hover text def bum me out for some comics, where you click the image and it just displays the text, then you gotta click the tiny next bar def killed me there

copperine

I've never had issues with pinch zoom affecting clickable images but I can imagine it would be annoying

FeatherNotes(Krispy)

but! never breaks me out of a comic for me to stop reading-! i persevere in the face of adversity XD

boogeymadam

i've never encountered a site so bad i couldnt continue reading. maybe stuff where i'd stop reading until i was less frustrated but i'd come back later.

DaeofthePast

That’s something I’ll have to consider for my site then

mariah (rainy day dreams)

I feel like Smackjeeves had a really obnoxious auto pitch & zoom before they updated most recently. I like when I can turn it off on my phone. I'd rather do it myself most of the time and let my phone try to auto it X')

DaeofthePast

I usually read on desktop more often than on mobile so it’s good to hear from other’s experiences

copperine

Idk I've never used a custom site yet

boogeymadam

same dae, except on tapas and webtoons!(edited)

comics with their own website i'll boot up my computer for a single update of

DaeofthePast

Even on webtoons I read on desktop

boogeymadam

omg your power, webtoons feels so choppy on desktop to me

FeatherNotes(Krispy)

im definitely lucky that our site got a mobile friendly version i remember the 'ol pinchy zoomz was tiresome on our site for sure

DaeofthePast

I get headaches from reading on my phone unfortunately :/

Idk what the difference is between reading mobile and on a desktop but my brain doesn’t like it

Like, I can text fine???? But reading a comic for some reason is like “no”

So yeah, comics on desktop for me

FeatherNotes(Krispy)

ohh!! it could be the close proximity!

DaeofthePast

Ooh :0 maybe?

FeatherNotes(Krispy)

i know i get motion sickness depending on how close/ far i am from screens

DaeofthePast

Maybe it’s something like that... :O

boogeymadam

whatever the reason sorry you get headaches and motion sickness from comics :'0

DaeofthePast

Every once in a while I’ll try again to read on mobile I never learn

boogeymadam

the only reason i dont like mobile is sometimes comics text is a combination of too small there and the font is hard on my dyslexia

DaeofthePast

Rip

boogeymadam

so i see if zooming in on my computer helps

DaeofthePast

The lesson here is that it’s good to have both mobile and desktop options

boogeymadam

yep :'D

FeatherNotes(Krispy)

ohhh yea def agree. I know that feeling and i sometimes ... have a Time reading my own work XD (i admit it lol!!)

boogeymadam

sometimes my own comic is hard on my dyslexia for The Effect so i never have hard feelings with other comics

copperine

(brb)

FeatherNotes(Krispy)

ewiudhiwue the things we do AT WHAT COST XD

DaeofthePast

Asdfghjkl

Meanwhile I use the same font for everything

boogeymadam

wait im gonna generalize this more so it can be a party

DaeofthePast

Please post that on pillowfort so I can reblog it

boogeymadam

you can post it for yourself if you want dae!

i'm having a hard time logging on asdfgjh

DaeofthePast

Rip sure

copperine

Ah see I have both

Because hand lettering

It's great for feeling right for a comic but also eternally wondering if it's readable

DaeofthePast

Ooh yeah I guess that would count as both

What’s your comic btw :0

Wait, we’re supposed to be talking about website design right

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

Yep! If it gets too off topic, you can always continue in another channel that's more fitting.

copperine

Ah sorry! Sure thing

sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)

Mobile is too small for me

DaeofthePast

Yeah

FeatherNotes(Krispy)

(oHHMYYGOSH BOOGEY XD)

boogeymadam

mm archives were mentioned already, and how it can really turn readers away to simply not have one at all? my favorite archive is https://www.vaingloriouscomic.com/comic/archive 's but i've seen some where they attempted an all picture archive and it backfired by just being a page of all empty boxes. this didn't deter me from reading it and it got fixed pretty quick tho~ mine is one of these and its a very chonky slowmoving page cause i uploaded the first 90ish as fullsized pictures. nobody's ever complained so idk if it's ever deterred anyone from reading but i know i gotta fix it someday.(edited)

sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)

I really dont mind any kind of web design in particular though tbh. I prefer desktop sites but it’s fine if the design isnt great

DaeofthePast

Have you guys ever gone to a comic website (for a single comic) and the colors used in the background were so bright that it felt like they were blinding you to the point it was hard to read the actual pages?

sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)

My archive is down right now becayse it broke and I dont know how to fix it lol

FeatherNotes(Krispy)

i def want a fully view-able archive but we're gonna be hitting 800 pages and i dont know how well that will work XD

sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)

But I have a navigation bar now

boogeymadam

u could have multiple pages of archive, krispy!

i'm starting a new page for chapter 2

sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)

Or dropdown menus

boogeymadam

but its probably important to have a dropdown if u have more than 1 page, yeah

mariah (rainy day dreams)

I want to switch to picture archives, but I haven't found a good plug in/way to get my word press to do it :( if anyone has recommendations...

sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)

I wish I knew how to make dropdown menus

FeatherNotes(Krispy)

i'll have to bring that up ! we dont do the tech work for our site ( thank gosh seriously) but i love archives that show full pages

sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)

If I could make dropdown menus I would be unstoppable

copperine

I miss the drop-downs on SJ

boogeymadam

i feel like dropdowns are smth i pretty much only exclusively see on hiveworks comics

i wonder what their secret is,,,

sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)

I’ve inspected the elements on so many hiveworks sites lol

I want to know

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

they use word press I think

for their comic sites

just have to do some digging with the site html and csss

copperine

Right click and inspect maybe...

sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)

Php stands for my Personal hell pit

FeatherNotes(Krispy)

if i could go undercover for yall i would XD

boogeymadam

also!! @mariah (rainy day dreams) i use elementor for mine

its not perfect and breaks like every time i update it but it works asdfg

chalcara [Nyx+Nyssa]

... I'm currently writing a sparkling fresh wp-plugin for my page (comic easel wasn't doing what I wanted), but I am also a software dev who enjoys coding.

sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)

My template I use functions in mostly php and xml and its gibberish to me but functions so well I dont know how to improve it to have specific things I want

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

my knowledge with site design is basic at best lmao

chalcara [Nyx+Nyssa]

wordpress is a bit special in that it does most things more complicated than strictly necessary.

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

but I do like fiddling with stuff

^that too lmao

FeatherNotes(Krispy)

I know Shiza of osarilho is really good at web designing? she's made some beautiful work with her site!

boogeymadam

i want to ask shiza for more help but not before i have some money to pay her :')

she's helped me a lot already

sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)

I can do html and css at the babiest level

mariah (rainy day dreams)

I'll check that out Boogey, thanks! Even if it does break X') And I guess I'll just make a note to start stashing money to hire shiza XD im definitely at the point where my site needs a general face lift, but I don't have the spoons for it.

boogeymadam

imo i've made some really pretty pges with it. it's a drag and drop that's excellent at galleries, but it doesn't like when you don't have even rows for some reason

the wordpress plugin, Elementor, i mean.

copperine

I've been wanting to try comicpress for ages

I just don't know where to start

mariah (rainy day dreams)

I'm gonna move over to #shop_talk for my response

copperine

I had someone who was gonna help me out but we lost contact so it's on the back burner

boogeymadam

OOPS yeah

copperine

But for websites in general I prefer to have one that feels very basic than one that feels too busy or crowded

I'm not a graphic designer at all lol

If I do try an independent site I'm planning to pay a coding friend to help me

DaeofthePast

yeah i have no idea what I'm doing when working on my site, it's kinda basic, but at least it looks nice

copperine

I just use a premade theme on my ComicFury site

It works and that's good enough for me so far

Oh I guess the other thing that would put me off reading a comic is if the site isn't formatted for mobile, and/or particularly if the site doesn't have adaptive formatting

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

same, but editted it hard core so it looks like it's own thing lmao

copperine

I usually read on my phone because my computer is where I work so I like to get off it for hobbies

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

but for me uh i guess mobile i try to read it either on tapas, webtoon or its own site

I find just clicking the page to the next one helps me a lot lol I don't do a lot of zooming

copperine

Mmm

copperine

It's personal preference a lot tbh!

sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)

I like my comuter because its big

copperine

Valid

Mine is not

Shizamura 🌟 O Sarilho

did anyone talk about paying me please you don't have to do that

copperine

Idk but you can pay me

Idk what for but

I'll take money

mariah (rainy day dreams)

I absolutely would have to if you made my site awesome X') work is work, and you should be paid for it

Shizamura 🌟 O Sarilho

fair enough

Just send me a DM whenever you're up for that and lemme take a look at what you already have

sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)

I would hire someone to do web design for me but I dont have the funds & I dont wnat to make someone do work for me for free

sierrabravo (Hans Vogel is Dead)

I've been meaning to set up my own website for a while now, since the collective i was originally hosting my webcomic with kinda fell apart, but it's so much work and i'm hella intimidated :'''D

copperine

@sierrabravo (Hans Vogel is Dead) there's been some related discussion in #shop_talk and I believe @boogeymadam might be able to advise (I'm sure others can too but I'm going off the convo from earlier)

Shizamura 🌟 O Sarilho

@sierrabravo (Hans Vogel is Dead) depending on how much it is I can help you out

RebelVampire

Admin Reminder Remember this channel is for experiences as a reader first and foremost, so #shop_talk and #general are better if you want to discuss your own stuff.

DaeofthePast

thank you for the reminder :3

RebelVampire

I would say poor web design is something I have a complicated relationship regarding webcomics. On the one hand, outside of a site being 100% completely broken, I'm willing to sit through a lot to read. So in terms of affecting whether I read a comic the first time or not, there isn't much to say there. But it does affect how engaged I am with the comic. Cause if I can't easily go back to re-read a page, easily find things like character names, have to deal with extreme lag cause the host is garbage, have to deal with eye bleeding color schemes, etc. you can bet your bottom dollar 1 time is all that comic is going to get in terms of reading it. I can only subject myself to so much, and if I don't feel like reading a comic again because of the site itself, I'm going to quickly forget it in favor of comics whose sites don't make me cry. I do give more leeway to sites created by creators in many respects. But professional bigtime hosts like Tapas or Webtoons literally have no excuse for some of their garbage design choices. And some of their design choices are super duper garbage.

DaeofthePast

that's true yeah, there's a big distinction of the quality expectations between sites by small creators and those of big companies like Webtoons

RebelVampire

At the same time, though, I know from first hand experience that poor design choices are literally influenced by user data for bigger companies. So for every decision I consider stupid- at the same time they probably did the AB tests that showed crappy design A had better results for their conversion rates than user friendly design B.

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

Which boggles my mind

I wonder if there's some kinda causation-correlation thing going on that the A/B tests could not detect accurately

boogeymadam

Rebel mentioned sites that have eyebleedy color schemes and I'm in the same boat; will read the comic, just will be turning down the screen brightness a looot. Sites that have a huge space of extremely neon background that distracts from the comic make me reluctant to read on the site, and I'll look for a mirror before trying. That white background of the 2 big comic hosting sites can at least be affected and turned dark by nightmode when needed, while nightmode doesn't work on half the bright comic sites I've tried it on. u-u

[aleapoffaithfiction]

IV.

I hope that you're the one. If not, you are the prototype - Andre 3000

“What do you think about this lipstick? I’m about to take it off and just stick with a lip gloss. I can never seem to get red lipstick to work on me. Meanwhile, every single shade that exists works on you.” In the midst of listening to Taylor’s commentary about a Dose of Colors lipstick that is absolutely perfect on her, I continued to nod my head along to “Too Deep for The Intro” from J. Cole’s “Friday Night Lights” mixtape. Despite it being released damn near seven years ago, it still feels and sounds better than anything that’s out right about now so it shall always remain in rotation alongside some of my all-time favorite Hip-Hop musical masterpieces. It also sounds damn good as we continue this journey down I-95 S to Pennsylvania. It’s been quite some time since I’ve actually driven a distance longer than twenty minutes and I can admit that I’m actually enjoying this. Traffic is clear, the sun is shining brighter than ever, and the weather hasn’t quite reached the brutally chilly temperatures that are on the way. I’m enjoying the wind smacking me in the face and blowing my hair all over the place. It’s damn near ninety degrees, why wouldn’t I?

“That red lipstick looks fucking good on you. You’re overthinking it. Also, my black ass cannot wear every shade ever. I just figure out ways to make them work on me and usually, lip liner is the trick. I think I have really deep berry liner in that bag. Try it and see if it works for you. If not, take it off and do the gloss.” To avoid having to stop and use the bathroom, I skipped out on grabbing a bite to eat from Wendy’s like Taylor did and now I regret it because my stomach is growling like hell. Given that the car is new, I don’t have any snacks in here but I’ll be damned if I don’t stop and grab some from a Quick Check on the way back.

“You’re talking about this one here?” I quickly glanced over and nodded my head to confirm.

“How was your time with Jesse when he came to Atlanta?”

“Pleasant. I can admit that he enjoyed it. He’s the first guy that I’ve ever had sleep in my apartment there and it was a different vibe but it felt nice. While it’s no sign that I’m ready to cohabitate with anyone just yet, I did like it for that time being.”

“So, you enjoyed finally sexing in your bed? That’s what you’re saying?” Her laughter filled our space as I called her out on such a discrete way of saying things. We both knew that’s exactly what she was alluding to.

“Well, I won’t deny that. It was damn good to be able to go at it multiple times between the night and the next morning, and then get up for a cup of coffee in my own kitchen. Hotel sex is only exciting the first couple of times. After that, it’s one big ass whatever. Do you know what it’s like to fuck in your own bed and then turn on your TV to watch one of your favorite shows while naked as the day you were born next to your fine as man? Heaven.”

“Oh, so you’re finally calling him your man now?” She refuses to label what they have as anything more than their “thing”. I understand the hesitance given the tough space he’s in when it comes to his children and divorce, but overall, he seems to have really taken a liking to her that comes with everything that a relationship is.

“I suppose so. We spoke about it and figured ah, what the hell, why not?”

“That’s nice to hear. I like you two together. He’s a good fit for you in a sense that he’s educated, sophisticated in certain ways, and he’s super mellow. That’s all you.” I always call Taylor my goody two shoes friend with the potty mouth, despite her quickly saying that it’s a label that I should be giving myself. If Jesse isn’t her perfect match, then I don’t know who is. If they don’t work out, she’ll still end up with some super educated business man or book writer of some sort. I feel like she likes them eclectic.

“And what exactly is your type? I’ve been trying to figure the shit out for the longest and it’s like I’m looking for lost treasure on some deserted island. Every single time I try and hook you up with someone, you avoid it like a plague. You’re not a lesbian. It was easy to rule that out because you didn’t want me.” I had to laugh with her, because I know she said that nonsense on purpose. She’s never been arrogant and easily becomes irritable whenever she encounters a person who is. We’ve had a ton of conversations about interviews that we’ve wanted to cut short due to some athlete thinking that he’s above being proper and approachable when speaking with us. If anything, we get it far worse than male reporters do.

“I don’t know what my type is. I feel like we all craft this dreamy guy in our heads with everything that we assume is our type, but ultimately, it’s unrealistic. There’s fantasy and reality, and in reality, there’s a lot that we’re willing to compromise about when it comes to finding love.”

“So why do you avoid hook ups? You won’t know until you get out there and try it out.”

“My sister ruined that for me. She’s the one who hooked me up with my ex and I’ve already opened up to you about how that turned out.” A moment of silence fell between us as she reflected on my past words about Shamel, while I did my best to avoid thinking about the man. It’s not very often that I do think of him because he’s an ink stain in my past that I’m working damn hard to erase.

“Well, that was then and this is now. It’s been four years since him and you’ve yet to really allow yourself to get out there. I’m pretty damn good with the vetting process, so you know I’m not bring anyone your way who I don’t believe is worthy, so what’s up? What you think of Michael B. Jordan? I know his best friend Sterling. I can hook something up. You know Black Panther is about to come out in a couple of months. He’s on fire right now.”

“Just because you have an actor in your bed doesn’t mean that I want one in mine. He’s probably running through every becky in Hollywood.”

“Oh my gosh. Shut up. You don’t know that.”

“You don’t either but it’s likely that he is. I’m not sure if I could ever get involved with a known guy. I’m sure there’s a brutal headache that comes with that. I certainly salute the wives of the players because I’ve heard more than enough stories for me to wonder why some of those women have yet to snap. The perks of being financially taken care of wouldn’t be anywhere near enough for me not to lose it. The disrespect is real.”

The manner in which those men cheat is unbelievable. I’ve heard about scenarios where the wife is in the arena sitting in the WAGs section and the mistress is only a couple of rows up amongst the spectators. Many of them have apartments in different cities that their spouses either do or do not know about. The manner in which these women flock to their hotels is shameful. And All-Star Weekend? Or even the Pro Bowl Weekend? Forget it. These are events literally created for the sake of the players being able to relax and have some fun while having their families be in the midst of it and yet they still have women all over whichever city is hosting it, fucking and sucking on them. I consider myself to be a pretty composed woman, but I don’t know how long I’d be able to keep it together if I were dealing with that. I’d probably end up on an episode of Snapped.

“Well, I can’t argue with you there, but not all of them are like that. I doubt Grant Hill has ever cheated on Tamia. What about Tim Duncan? That man isn’t cheating. Look at Ray Allen. Does he look like a cheater to you?”

“Uh, can you at least talk to me about players who are under thirty-five?”

“I doubt Steph is cheating on Ayesha.”

“The most vanilla couple in the league. Next?”

“You think Isaiah Thomas cheats?”

“Yo, T, shut up. You don’t even know what to say right now. You’re avoiding the big names because you know the deal.” I’d already been giggling, but it worsened as she side eyed me.

“All of them aren’t cheaters. What about the NFL? Look at Russell Wilson.”  

“NBA, NFL, MBL, ATP, WBA, EFL, and everything else. They’re all loosely slinging dick. Spare me.”

“And you think business men aren’t? What about the gym teachers? You think they don’t fuck around too? Doctors, lawyers, judges, scientists, you name it. There are shitty men everywhere and within every professional sector. Shit, the Starbucks barista is probably slipping in numbers while handing over caramel lattes and slinging dick too.”

“You’re right. And that’s exactly why I’m single.”

“Not everyone is the same.”

“I know that.”

“So then give yourself a chance to at least meet someone. What’s the big deal? Live a little.”

“Why are you always assuming that I’m not allowing myself to meet anyone? Have you ever thought about how I’ve yet to encounter a man who has peaked my interests? That’s truly what it is.”

“Seriously? That’s what it is?” 
“Yes.”

“I suppose I can believe that. You’re such a home body, so it’s not like you’re going to meet anyone there. You work around a bunch of old men up there at ESPN, so he won’t be there either.”

“There are some young guys behind the scenes but I’m not into the dating a co-worker thing. It just sounds like a nightmare filled with endless awkwardness.”

“That just means that I have to get you out more. That’s all.”

“You can try.”

And I’m sure she will. I most likely won’t mind it either. For as long as the environment isn’t one that’ll make me uncomfortable, I’m alright with being out on the scene. What I won’t be is “mixxy”. I’ve never been the one to feel compelled to fit into a bunch of circles in order to feel worthy of sitting at the cool table. I will always sit at my own table, whether I’m by myself or not.

“Thank you so much.” As I slipped Taylor her pass, I handed over my keys. Who the hell knew that this stadium has valet parking? Either way, I’m beyond appreciative because I can only imagine the chaos it is to find a parking space within anyone of the parking lots.

“I have two questions.”

“What?” As I slipped the lanyard around my neck, my eyes panned in her direction. Her eyebrows were already raised.

“One, what kind of Benz is that? It’s sexy.”

“It’s a 2018 E-Class Coupe.” I’d gotten it in Diamond White Metallic and didn’t even have to pay the extra fifteen hundred dollars for it. The exterior came with the night package including gloss accents and AMG body styling. The interior? Macchiato beige seats with red accents. I was able to have the heated and cooling ventilated seats, arm rests, and steering wheel that I wanted for the winter and summer time, and as far as everything else? Well it’s nice. I tuned him out because I’m not obsessed with cars enough to care about every single specific detail that doesn’t involve my safety. After going over the specifics, he was able to locate the exact make and design I wanted on Route 22 West in Union, New Jersey. As Beckham promised me, Phil Campbell certainly came through, not only with the car, but also with a damn good deal for it too.

“And who the hell are you fucking on the Eagles? I thought we were coming here with your ESPN credentials.”

“Don’t be silly. I’m not fucking anyone within the sports world and you know this. Also, the Eagles? Please.”  

“Wait. O invited you to a game during that interview, right? Is this the game?” I figured she should have known. I had the jersey he gave me laying across the backseat in the car and it’s in my hand right now. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy going to sporting events, especially when it’s not work related, but I most likely wouldn’t have made the trip out here knowing that I have to work in the morning, if it weren’t for his invitation of thanks.  

“Can you come on?” We would have remained standing there had I not taken off before her.

“No, I want the details of how this all happened. O’s going to be so happy that you’re here. The man is obsessed with you.”

“Why do over exaggerate everything? Is that a Gemini trait or something?”

“But I’m not over exaggerating anything. He really does adore you. He asks about you whenever I see him.”

“You’ve told me that and as I said to you before, I’m flattered that he enjoys my work.”

“Look at you thinking it’s that simple. How cute.”

“Can you cut the shit and come on? Did you have anything to drink before we left the house?”

“No, no drinks yet but I’m going to have a mojito or something while I’m here. That’s for certain.”

I’ve never experienced the perks that comes with being a VIP or an athlete’s special guest but now I understand why everyone enjoys it. It opens the doors to just about every single access point within the stadium, except the locker rooms and with my ESPN credentials, I could easily get into both locker rooms after the game if was here for that purpose. In the midst of making our way upstairs, we were given an escort who explained everything that we’re welcome to, places that we’re entitled to be, and the free merchandise that comes with the passes. I’d almost forgotten about the food and drinks Beckham mentioned as I walked past all of the concession stands. I can never pass up a good ol’ chicken tender and fries’ basket while sitting at a game.

“And here is where you’ll be. I’ll be around to accommodate anything you may need Ms. Nazaire.”

“Oh, thank you. I appreciate that.”

“No problem.”

He opened the door to allow us to step inside what I’m sure is far more than necessary in terms of accommodations and I was certainly right as my eyes swiftly glanced over the posh interior and paused on the single person already enjoying all of it; Ms. Heather Van Norman. In no way, shape, or form did he mentioned that his mother would be around and though I don’t mind whatsoever, it does not negate my nervousness.

If he didn’t tell me, I for sure hope that he informed her because I’d hate to be the person to oddly intrude on her time and privacy as she watches her son play. Oh God. What if she thinks I used the man for all of this? It’s one thing for him to give me a thank you that I don’t even believe I deserve and it’s another for the thanks to come with perks that I’m sure no other analyst can say they’ve been given. Sure, there are some kind hearted athletes who will slip you an invitation to an event of theirs or embrace you with a hug and good conversation upon seeing you out of respect and appreciation but this? Nah, I don’t think so. This is about on the same caliber of myself being invited to the man’s house. I should have declined like I originally intended to.

“Heather! Oh my gosh. I didn’t know you’d be here.” Taylor stepped around my suddenly reluctant frame and immediately went into the beautiful woman’s awaiting arms.

“I’ve been in town for two weeks now. I head back tomorrow, but I figured I’d come out here and watch my boy play before I do. It’s so good to see you Taylor. I didn’t know you were coming with Sarai.”

“I’m crashing at her house while in town for some work with the Bleacher Report. So, she dragged me out. I’m glad she did though.”

“You knew I was coming?” I’d finally spoken up. I had to ask.

“Of course. Odell told me. How are you Sarai?” Once again, she opened her arms and she awaited my presence. How could I turn her down? The embrace was not only warm and welcoming, but it felt very maternal. It’s been quite some time since I embraced my own mother, so I appreciated it along with the kiss she planted on my cheek. I’ve always heard about how pleasant she is and she has lived up to that since our first meeting in Bristol.

“I’m well. Thank you for having me.”

“Oh no, thank you for coming. O will be thrilled. He was very adamant about me making sure you’re well taken care of while here, so I intend to do that so that you can give him a good report when you leave.” Both she and Taylor chuckled and yet Taylors came with widened eyes and eventually a smirk that I wish I never saw. With Heather standing alongside her, I was the only one who could see her teasing facial expressions and if I weren’t respectful enough to watch my mouth in front of Beckham’s mother, I’d tell her about herself.

“Are more people coming?”

“His friends are here, but they’re out there in the midst of the madness. That’s where they like to be. I was down there for a bit while he was running a couple of drills but I came back up here.”

“So, it’s just us in here?” He could have gotten us regular ol’ seats. Seriously Beckham?

“Yes. Just us. There will be food and drinks. They also have lounges where you can go and have drinks and hang out if you’re interested. You don’t have to be in here with this old gal if you don’t want.”

“Old gal? Don’t be silly! You look incredible.” I nodded in agreement with Taylor. I hope to look just as incredible as she does when I’m somewhere around her age.

“You do. I’d rather stick around so that I can get tips on how to remain so great looking.”

“My tip is to remain as stress free as possible and to keep doing whatever the both of you are doing, because you’re both absolutely stunning women. I always say that the both of you are a breath of fresh air amongst the men within your field. I also give a ton of credit to Jemele Hill, Pam Oliver, Lisa Salters, Cari Champion, Josina Anderson, Erin Andrews, Sage Steele, and Kim Jones. She’s such a good one when it comes to O. I’m sorry if I’m a bit biased to the reporters who actually take the time out to understand him.”

“No, no. I get it. And you’ve named so many women that I look up to.” I’ve gotten the opportunity to meet every single woman she listed and I chose to just sit and soak up all of the advice and gems they were willing to offer so that I can transition into my sportscaster role in a knowledgeable space. It’s even more incredible that the majority of the women that she named are black faces. While there aren’t many of us, the ones that are around cannot be missed or mistaken.

“And now you have so many who look up to you, like my Jazzy. It’s full circle.”

“Aww, thank you. Is she here too?”

“No. She’s home. She’ll be up here soon enough and she’d love to meet you. She and Taylor are already homegirls, according to her.” 
“That is my homegirl. I love her.” I wouldn’t be able to escape this one and with the expression on Taylor’s face as she grabs a bottle of water off of the table, I better not even try.

“Of course. We’ll set something up.” Yet again, I’ve done something to further my connection to the Beckham Family. It’s all starting to feel like one long running coincidence at this point.

I threw the somewhat of a diet that I’m following right out of the window as I sat with a plate filled with the chicken tenders and fries that I wanted so badly. I’d been putting it off to the side, since I was so tapped into the game, but it could and probably will be finished before I leave out of here. Beckham didn’t lie when he spoke about the intensity of the games versus the Eagles and despite being inside of the suite, I could feel the energy of the nearly seventy thousand spectators in attendance. Though I came into this with a plan not to cheer for any team, I couldn’t help but to become a temporary Giants fan as I threw the Beckham jersey over my head and joined in with both Heather and Taylor’s frustration as the Giants went scoreless in first, second, and third quarters.

“Ugh! Come on.” I had to move the plate out of the way. We were already two minutes into the fourth quarter and nothing was on the board. That just about ruined my appetite.

“Come on Eli. Throw something good!”

“We have to score something. Come on Beckham!” All three of us were damn near pressed into the stainless glass windows and aching in anticipation. It was as if the man heard my plea, because within seconds after it, he received a ten-yard catch from Eli Manning and went zipping down the field to give the Giants their first touchdown of the game. The piercing scream that spilled out of my mouth damn near caused me to frighten myself as I jumped up and down with excitement. Now the shit talking could begin. Sure, were still down by seven and we nowhere near any Eagles fans, but still. Shit talking is always fun.

“Alright, we have to tie this. We can do it. That just gave us a bit of momentum.” My loud claps filled the room as I paced back and forth in hopes of a miracle from my chosen team for today.

“We got this. We got this.” Heather’s hands met my shoulders and she gave them an encouraging squeeze as her own excitement ripped through her body. It has to be beyond awesome to have such an explosive player as her kid, but then there’s the pressure. Gosh, I’d be the worst sports mom ever and would need a lifetime supply of aspirin.

“You’re going to be hoarse by the time we get out of here.” Taylor laughed while shaking her head at my antics. A shrug was my response.

“So what! We have to win this thing!”

In less than two minutes later, Eli threw a four-yard pass to Beckham that resulted in yet another touchdown for him. We’d officially tied the game and I just about lost my mind. I could literally feel his energy within the suite as he celebrated his touchdown in the showboating manner that he always does and yet I loved it. In the midst of watching them online, I could understand why people tossed the arrogant title on him and hated his celebration dances. Now, while here, looking at it live, it’s the best shit ever. How can you not celebrate after making the game tying touchdown? Shit, I’m dancing with him.

“Let’s go!”

Eli’s seventy-seven-yard pass to Sterling Shepard to give us a touchdown to take the lead made our suite sound like it was filled with more than just three people as we screamed in thrill. The Eagles tied the game once more and a field goal put us in the lead once again with just a little over two and a half minutes left on the clock. What we all thought would be the game to finally give the Giants a win after being down two games was short lived by two field goals that resulted in the Eagles again tying the game and then finally beating us by three.

I don’t think I’ve felt disappointment like this in quite a while. While the other two women within the room with me took the loss with good hearts and applauded the team for a solid effort and comeback within the fourth quarter, I sat in silence because I felt like we were robbed. We were supposed to win that game. How could we lose after those three touchdowns and that field goal attempt? That’s bullshit.

“It’s alright Sarai. They’ll get a win in when they play in Tampa Bay next week. They gained some momentum today. They just have to apply that same energy every single time.” It sounds good, but I would have liked to win today!

“Yeah, I know.”

“You sound like a kid who lost their little league game. You didn’t even play and you’re sulking more than they are.”

“Because, we could have gotten that one T.” And we should have.

“I know. It was looking good in the fourth. I thought we had it too, but it is what it is. They’ll get them next time. They play the Eagles again this season and we’ll come back to see them have their revenge.” I’m holding Taylor to that. We’re coming back for that game.

“I guess that’s fair.”

“I’m sad that it’s over. I really enjoyed your company ladies. I’m so glad that you came out.” I can admit that I enjoyed myself too. Usually, I’d be curled up on my couch right now, eating dinner, and mentally preparing myself for the week head and instead, I was able to let loose and go crazy over some football. I’d pick that every single time, if I could.

“Thank you for having us. I had a blast. I’m pissed we lost, but I still enjoyed it so much.” It was my turn to draw her in for a hug and I did it with no hesitation.

“And was everything to your liking? My son’s going to want a report.”

“Of course, of course.” We all laughed at how much she emphasized the reality that he absolutely will ask her about how things went today. Well, he has nothing to worry about. He fulfilled his thank you beyond what I could have ever imagined and I’m appreciative of it. He never owed me anything in the first place and after this, he’s more than repaid me. If anything, I owe him.

“I’m sure we’ll be doing this again at some point.”

“I think so too.” Taylor swiftly agreed with her before I could get a word in. Gosh, she better sleep with one eye open when she goes to bed tonight, because I’m going to whack the shit out of her with a pillow as soon as I get an opportunity to do so. She’s been on a roll tonight with the slickness and I’ve let it slide because it’s been jokes in-between she and I, more so coming from her alone, but now she’s involved someone else in it and she’s putting false hopes on the table that I have no capability of fulfilling. This is supposed to be and is going to be a one-time thing.

“Sounds good. Give me another hug before you two get out of here. Also, drive back to Jersey safe. Taylor, text me when you two get there.”

After those hugs, we ended up spending an addition fifteen minutes talking and I’d even exchanged numbers with her so that we could set up that meeting between Jazzy and myself. It would be my thank you to Beckham for the fun filled day here in Philly.

Despite our rush down to my car, the traffic to get out of the stadium wasn’t as beatable as we wished it would have been. We were bumper to bumper for over a half an hour and that continued as we hit the highway to head back to Edgewater.

Phenomenal game, Beckham. Nine receptions, seventy-nine yards, and two touchdowns. You and Shepard balled out. You won in my book. Keep that energy going. I know it feels a bit discouraging to not have gotten a win yet, but you’re only three games in. There’s plenty of time to turn things around and I know that you will. Rest up. And thank you for the invitation. I enjoyed myself.

I know it’s against the law to text and drive, but I’m barely driving. I’m not sure if it’s just general traffic or if there’s some sort of accident further ahead but if God is on my side, he’ll work with my impatience and get things moving along. This is what I didn’t miss about driving.

Thank you, Sarai. I wish I could’ve gotten a chance to see you after the game. I saw the picture you took with momma. You look better than me in that jersey.

I really hate that I blushed. I had to roll my eyes at myself more so than him. Get it the fuck together Sarai.

I doubt that. I’m sure the world will disagree with you as well.

And every single woman that lusts over him and his every move, daily. It’s no secret that he is probably the most sought-after bachelor in the NFL. He’s one of the youngest guys playing and the cherry on top is his lack of children. I’ve heard the chatter, simply because it’s quite hard not to. Even in my field, where he is technically forbidden fruit, he’s still a hot commodity off the field. I’d like to think that aspect of things is why he has so much media attention around him even when he isn’t playing. No one gives a damn about what Eli Manning and Abby McGrew Manning have going on within their home, but the hot, young, and black receiver? They’d much rather stalk him.

My boy Shep has this little bowling alley in the apartment building that he lives in. We’re all going to meet up over there for a bit. You should come through so that I can sign that jersey for you. I texted Taylor about it too.

Immediately, my eyes shifted in Taylor’s direction and her own playfully rolled in the direction of the window as she dropped her phone into her lap.

“Really, Taylor?”

“What? What’s the big deal? It’s a little kickback. O’s cool people. I think you know that at this point.”

“You do realize that you’re taking things a bit too far now?”

“How the hell am I taking things too far when the man has your number, invited you to a football game of his, and is now texting you about coming to hang out? You allowed him into your space, not me. I didn’t push him in your direction.”

“I’m starting to think that you probably told him that I’d be at the Bleacher Report party.”

“And so what if I did? He wanted to meet you, so I told him that you’d be around. I didn’t know what would come of it and I still don’t see what the big deal is now.”

“You know exactly what the big deal is.”

“No, I don’t. Why don’t you tell me?” Despite my tone, she annoyingly batted her eyes while whistling in anticipation for what I would say. I shouldn’t have to say it and I’m not going to, because she already knows. If anyone knows about the boundaries that we shouldn’t be crossing in any capacity, it’s her.

“You can be such an ass.”

“Or you’re arguing with me because deep down, you want to go. We can just stop by.”

“You do realize that I have to be at work first thing tomorrow morning, right?”

“I just said that we can just stop by.”

The internal battle intensified more than I expected it to as I pondered about what would come of this. It’s been quite some time since I’ve surrounded myself with a bunch of testosterones beyond ESPN and I have never in all of the years that I’ve been a sports journalist, deliberately hung out amongst athletes of any sport or circle. Though I’ve been to a ton of events where I’ve mingled among them for the sake of networking and people polite, there have never been instances of privacy or secrecy.

I’ve never been to their homes, their family events outside of charitable ones, or any other possible shindig. I’ve declined many invitations, whether they were extended to me out of flirtation or respect, and Beckham’s should be of no difference and yet here I am contemplating what could possibly be the big deal about it if I do stop by. Taylor’s advice about me needing to live my life always plays in the back of my mind whenever I’m reluctant to extend myself beyond my profession, but tonight shouldn’t be a factor within that. Nothing about him or involving him should be a fucking factor.

“Thirty minutes tops.”

“Fine.” And just like that, I’m taking the plunge. Whatever happens, happens. Actually no. Thirty minutes and all of this is all said and done.

Send me the address.

It took us an extended hour and fifteen minutes longer than the typical driving time to get us back to my place from Philly. Taylor forced me to wait in the car as she changed her footwear from sandals to Vans and minutes later, we were taking the fifteen-minute drive to Weehawken. I didn’t know Sterling lived so close to me. I remember Chanel mentioning something about him living in Hudson County when we were working on a Nike ad campaign together, but the exact city slipped my mind.

“I’m glad that ya’ll could make it out. We just bowling over some wings and non-alcoholic drinks. That game kind of did us all in, so the turn up is super tamed and lame tonight.” I suppose because we’re at his residence, it made sense for Sterling to step outside to greet us and properly direct where I’d be able to park my car.

“Sounds like Sarai’s kind of party.” And with that, I elbowed her in her side.

“Fuck you.”

“Sarai, you’re the turn down queen? I would have never thought. You stay checking the shit out of your co-hosts on that show. Both you and Chad are funny as fuck.” His laughter held an innocence that I’ve always gotten from him ever since he was a Goner at the University of Oklahoma. Sterling’s one of those guys who you can’t help but to cheer for. He has such a genuine spirit and he comes from a great family.

“I’m not the turn down queen. I’m just more on the chill side.”

“I can respect it.” Music blared from the miniature bowling alley as we walked through the lobby and eventually stepped inside, but the scene didn’t contain too many. As I expected, there was Chanel Iman, Sterling’s girlfriend, and two guys that I’m not quite familiar with. No Odell in sight. I guess Sterling was being truthful about the tamed vibe.

“Aw shit. If it isn’t the Most Wanted by Every Ballplaying Nigga number one and number two.” His loudness made his statement funnier than it should have been. It’s not the first time either one us have heard it and it won’t be the last.

“Ignore Ben’s stupid ass. Oh, and O’s coming. He ran upstairs to the crib.”

His introduction was just as amusing as his opening statement and he didn’t let up as he continued to speak about the never-ending lust for the “young thangs” that he described both Taylor and I to be. He introduced his friend as Kav. Chanel, I’ve known for a while now. I dabbling in modeling for the sake of branding, so we’ve crossed paths enough to be acquaintances.

“I left those kicks upstairs on the dining room table for you. Both colorways.” My heart thrashed against my chest cavity as the baritone of his sometimes-raspy voice resounded through my bones. It’s so low and soft, and yet powerful enough to command the attention of everyone in the room as their eyes shifted in his direction. His casual entrance felt like something grandeur as he halted in his steps and locked eyes with me. Staring became our form of communication, as his deep and intoxicating eyes expressed things to me that I don’t want or need to know. Though I couldn’t break the glaring, it was him who decided to do so by washing his eyes over my entire frame. I could have turned into a pillar of dust idly lying in the middle of the floor as Taylor touched my arm and suddenly pulled her hand in response to the endless number of goosebumps trickling along my skin and the lump in my throat? If I suffocate, then fine. At least this moment will cease.

“Sarai Nazaire.” My name flowed from his rosy lips so slickly and yet with a disbelief that I couldn’t quite understand. He invited me here.

“And Taylor Rooks.” Ben immediately interjected. I’m going to assume he’s to Beckham what T is to me.

“I see my homie. What’s up T?”

“Odell! My favorite guy!” Their embrace was first and I was glad of it. It allowed me some time to gain maybe ten percent of the composure I once had when I was sitting in front of my house and debating with myself on whether I should call it a night or not. I haven’t had much of it since then.

“Your favorite guy? O ain’t shit.”

“Never took you to be the jealous type brother.” He and Sterling shared a laugh in the midst of he and T’s embrace and then it was my turn. He hesitated just as much as I did.

“I’m so glad that you made it here. I thought you were going to stand me up.” Despite the extension of my arms, it was his large palms that drew me closer by my waist, and he eventually tightened his body around my own and slightly rocked the both of us from side to side.

“How are you?” I was going to stand him up. I should have stood him up.

“I’m well. You?” 
“Good. Can’t complain.”

“I’m mad that I didn’t see ya’ll at the game. I started to come and sit up there with Heather, but I was with Tweedledee and Tweedledum the whole time. I didn’t even know ya’ll were there.” Chanel’s side eye to Beckham earned my laughter.

“I didn’t know you were there either, but I should have known. You’re always supporting the boo.” As she affectionately wrapped her arms around Sterling’s waist, she nodded to confirm my observation. They’re adorable together. The last guy she dated was Jordan Clarkson and despite their cuteness, I believe Sterling is the one. There’s something about their chemistry that just connects and has bonded into the strongest mold.

“Aye, we have drinks over here. Strawberry Lemonade. And there’s some hot wings, barbecue wings, and some odd flavored mango wing shits that Kav ordered. Ya’ll can help yourselves to it. We started two games. O’s whooping my ass because I’m letting him.”

“Nah, I’m whooping your ass because it’s what I do.”

“Anyway, as I said, I’m letting bleach boy win. We gon’ restart, so that we all can play. Since we’re in an odd number, we won’t do teams. We can all put twenty in for shits and giggles, and because I’m cheap as hell. Winner takes all.”

Though I hadn’t announced it, bowling has always been a side activity of mine. Both of my parents were apart of some neighborhood bowling club or whatever the hell it was back in the day and I’d always be there with them learning their techniques and observing all of the older couples and their decades old love for one another. Even with the warnings to “stay out of grown folks’ business” I was still able to be in the midst of the fun per my dad’s permission because he took me just about everywhere with him. Though slightly rusty, it didn’t stop me from winning a hundred and forty dollars tonight.

“Aye, Sarai and Taylor, let me ask ya’ll some real shit. No judgement. Ya’ll ever dated athletes?” It was Ben’s millionth question of the night and much like all of them, his curiosity always peaked in personal areas.

“One, a few years ago. I haven’t dated another since.” Kendall Marshall. I’m not surprised that she didn’t say his name, though.

“Sarai?”

“None, ever.”

“No one?”

“No.” The rumors are out there, but they’re all false. I’ve just never felt compelled to clear anything up because if I start, I’ll never be able to stop doing so.

“But wouldn’t that be an issue though?” Kav asked the anticipated follow up question.

“I mean, it all depends on the circumstances. If you’re an NFL reporter and you’re dating an NBA player, there isn’t much they can do to you in terms of firing you, though you may be frowned at about it. That’s not a conflict of interest. Some networks are stricter than others when it comes to that. Turner isn’t fond of it. The Bleacher Report doesn’t give a shit about who I involve myself with because they’re a bit more progressive, I suppose.” She half-assed the response which then caused it all to be left up to me to finish up.

“My show covers all major sporting news, mostly within the United States. Our most important coverage is always going to be the NBA and NFL, but it doesn’t mean that we don’t touch base on baseball, tennis, and a few of the others every now and then. So, as far as myself, it’s a conflict of interest no matter which way you look at it.” Yet again, our eyes locked with one another but he didn’t flinch in the manner that I urged for him to. I aimed to set up disappointment and he didn’t bite the bait. If anything, my words flowed into one of his caramel toned ears and right out of the other.

“I think when the heart wants what it wants, none of that other shit matters. It’ll figure itself out. Right?” His tongue lightly ran over his lips in unison with his nonchalant shrug and Chanel bid him a high-five in appreciation for his words. 
“For someone so passionate about the sport that you play, I can’t ever imagine you doing anything to jeopardize your ability to be able to play it.” How or why would he ever? Love is great, but is having it in risky manners ever worth it? That always comes with sacrifice and adjustments that are life altering. Is it really love when you have to let go of so many different aspects of who you are to have it?

“Football is a major part of my life, but it isn’t my life. I’m starting to learn that a lot nowadays. I find myself praying for more time for myself, my family, and my life beyond that field. I’m not going to be playing forever. An empty ass house means that I don’t have much to show for what I worked so hard for. How does all of this even matter if I’m not sharing it? As far as the jeopardize part, I’m willing to fight for and alongside anyone who is going to do the same for me.”

“Why have people in your life that you have to fight for?”

“Because love, no matter which way it comes, isn’t always easy. It’s not supposed to be. I’m going to always fight for those that I love. You’ve never had anyone fight for you?”

He rendered me to speechlessness and a silence discomfort that I may not have masked with my facial expression. I had no answer to give or rather, I didn’t have one that I wanted to give him.

“Alright Sojourner Truth and Martin Luther King, there’s no need to be all deep about this shit. Damn. Ya’ll making me think and it’s too late for all of that.” Ben lightened the moment as Odell stood to his feet and he stepped away from the booth, but halted…for me.

“Sarai. I want to see your new ride before ya’ll go.” How the hell did he know that I was getting ready to throw in the towel and tell Taylor to come on?

“Go and I’ll meet you outside. I’m going to use the bathroom.”

Or she’s creating yet another awkward moment for me.

What was once ninety degree whether nicely calmed down to the high seventies and the cool breeze coming from the Hudson River soothed me as we walked along the exterior of the building. Beckham chose to leave his hands dug into the pockets of his windbreaker style shorts while my eyes panned down and remained focused on his crimson red Nike sneakers.

“Is that it?” I followed his finger and immediately nodded.

“Whew! That thang is on point. And you got the white too? Ain’t nothing like a clean pearly white car. I have to see the guts.” The guts?

It only took one press of a button to unlock the doors and just like that, he was sitting inside on the passenger side taking in the interior like a kid in a candy store. It’s pretty nice but I wasn’t anywhere near as impressed as he is.

“You doing it with this one. Nice pick Sarai.” I scoffed at his modesty. As if he isn’t the one who chose it.

“Shouldn’t you be complimenting yourself?”

“Not really. I gave you the advice, but I never picked out the specifics. This is better than I envisioned it, honestly. I figured you’d go for black or blue.” Black was the original choice until I saw the white one. It stood amongst all of the choices of its kind.

“It is pretty cool, huh?” As I slipped in on the driver’s side, I gave the car a start so that he’d be able to see the beauty of the interior illuminating in its nighttime mode.

“For sure. You look good in here. This fits you well.” For just that moment, he stared at the side of my head while I tapped my fingers on the steering wheel in an anxiousness for Taylor’s presence. Like the most dominant magnet, his aura drew my glare to him.

I’d always believed that perfection doesn’t exist, especially within men, and grandma Lèilin would immediately beg to differ. She informed me that there comes a time when a woman does lay her eyes on a man who is perfect for her in every single sense, flaws and all. He’ll be the most beautiful man she’s laid her eyes on. Grandpa Lesly was that for her.

I’ve never been so at a loss for words until being within this man’s presence. The symmetry of his face is sculpted to an unfair perfection and it impeccably compliments his narrow eyes. There’s no wild bushiness to his eyebrows; they’re tamed and follow the arches of his smiles and frowns. His nose is not too small and yet not too vast. It’s literally made to fit his face. His lips. Dear God. Small and yet supple. A perfect hue of rose. The full beard oozes confident masculinity and yet the bright platinum blonde mane of curls on top of head has this playful and unique sexiness that’s solely for him alone, no matter how many people try to replicate it. He’s beyond handsome; beautiful is more like it. I can see what makes them all go crazy, whether female or male. I understand why all eyes are on him. I’m drowning in the intrigue and yet seeking a lifeboat to get me the hell out of here.

“Eh. It’s a car.” That’s really all it is.

“I’m ready.” The sound of her dragging out the last word startled the both of us as she approached the passenger side and she playfully shooed the man out of my passenger seat and slipped inside after a brief hug with him.

“We enjoyed it O. Thanks for the invite.”

“It ain’t nothing. I’m just glad ya’ll came.”

“We’ll do it again for sure. I’ll catch up with you soon.” Their fists bumped and she closed the door behind herself. I figured that would have been the goodbye necessary for me to drive off into the night and yet his boldness continued as he stepped around to the driver’s side of the car and opened my door.

“Step out for a minute.”

“Why?”

“Just for one minute.” He awaited my hand to latch onto his own and it did within a couple of seconds. As soon as I was secured on my feet, he immediately drew me in for a tight hug and a soft kiss to the forehead.

“Thank you so much Sarai.”

“You’re welcome, Beckham.” The deep chuckle that rattled from his frame weakened mine.

“Am I always going to be Beckham? If you like the last name, I’m willing to share it.” And with that I drew away from him and lightheartedly mushed him out of the way. We’re not going there. Not now or ever, though I’m well aware that it’s a joke.

“Turn around. I have to sign your jersey.”

I did as he asked and stood still as he moved his marker from number to number along the back of it.

“What does it say?”  

“Read it when you get home.”

“Okay.”

“Goodnight Sarai Nazaire.”

“What is it with you and the saying my whole name thing?”

“It’s sexy, very sexy.”

“Flirting comes natural to you, I see.”

“I’m not flirting. Flirting is filled with jokes. I’ve yet to joke with you.”

I slipped inside of the car to avoid the urge to look into his eyes once more. Closing the door create the barrier that I so badly needed. Yet again, my heart was thrashing against my chest and if I don’t get the hell away from him, I don’t think I’ll be good to drive us anywhere.

“Hit me when ya’ll get in so I’ll know you made it safe. No speeding Sarai.”

“We’ll text you.” Taylor answered for me as she messed with the radio to find a station of her liking. As I pulled away from the parking space, he stood there and watched. In my rearview window, I could see a final wave from him before he turned to walk away.

I couldn’t be bothered with my nightly shower as I began stripping out of everything covering my body. I’ll need it in the morning when I’m dragging out of bed to prepare for work. It’ll also work with the strong ass cup of coffee I’m certainly going to need.

“Goodnight!”

“Night!” Though I closed the door minutes ago, I’m sure she heard me.

As I tossed everything into the dirty clothing basket near my closet, I decided to take a peek at the signature on the back of the jersey. With the way he moved the marker, there had to be more than just his first and last name back there.

“Sarai Nazaire. There aren’t enough words to describe how thankful I am for you. Thank you for everything that you are and all that you do. You Are The Prototype.” And along the bottom was his notorious signature.

Rather than tossing it inside of the basket, I put it on a hanger and hung it up inside of the closet. My next move was to grab my phone.

Goodnight Beckham.

That’s enough for him to know that we made it in safely.

Goodnight Sarai Nazaire.

Sleep is the last thing that I’ll be able to do tonight. Whether my eyes are open or closed, all that I can see is him.