#oh riverdale you precious beautiful compulsive piece of trash

[change-the-rules]

there's just something inherently hysterical to me about toni doing her square-ass little prepared cheer routine meanwhile in fantasy filter land the lights dim and the beat drops as cheryl's looking at her like toni's an oasis and she's been crawling around the desert for days

[abrilstevens]

ok but this ep is actually really good? it’s the first one this season that i’m !!! about. like, all these side character scenes? yes!! kevin getting an actual storyline? yes!!!!!

[scre6m]

the other day my dad asked me if i watched riverdale just for the gay girlies i said oh you precious beautiful compulsive piece of trash

[bronwynn]

Don’t get me wrong. Riverdale, even this far from the height of its powers, still has its moments: Tonight’s episode, at once the season’s most ambitious entry and its most entertaining, made me say “Daddy” aloud to myself. (Just wait, it’s worth it.) But I fear its concern with crime and punishment, with the guilt that always seems to accompany sin, has made it so grave, in form as in function, that saving it from itself demands a super-heroic effort of its own. At its most pleasurable, the series cares not a whit for Purehearts and Punishers, but instead recalls Cheryl’s half-loving, half-nasty remark about Kevin, setting out on another “run” in the woods: “Oh, Kevin,” she says, as if to describe the Riverdale that first earned my affections. “You precious, beautiful, compulsive piece of trash.” 

[youbetheanchorandillbethewings]

Oh, Kevin. You precious, beautiful, compulsive piece of trash.

Cheryl Blossom, Riverdale

[jaques-b]

Riverdale translation fails #1 (S2e3)

In Germany they have a great tradition of dubbing every foreign movie or TV show. Mostly it is done very well. But when it comes to Riverdale ... they could do better. I translate from German back to English.

Original: «I self identify as a loner, not a pack animal»

German: «Yeah, and? I am more of a loner, not a pack animal.»

Not translating the «I self identify» part leads to a subsequent error. They clearly didn’t realize, the link w/ the «Snowflake» part.

Original: «Kudos on finding your safe space, snowflake»

German: «But hey, you made a refuge for yourself. Respect.»

--

Original: «Right, right. Except for when you’re exploring your BDSM sexuality.»

German: «Right! Right! Yeah. Exactly. Except you’re exploring your bisexuality again.»

--

Original: «Oh, Kevin. You precious, beautiful, compulsive piece of trash.»

German: «Oh, Kevin. You precious, beautiful, compulsive piece of shit.»

[change-the-rules]

well unlike last time they didn't confiscate my phone which means if I can channel my panic attack energy I could theoretically try and write some fic

fun fact I just counted and have scraps of 9 different ch*ni fics but I am still not super confident about actually writing any of them

[change-the-rules]

yea I had a feeling about how I'd feel about the finale based solely on like the summary and an earlier interview about it but decided to reserve judgement until seeing and yeah no I was p much right

[change-the-rules]

I.......I am speechless there's uh...well that's .....yea okay sure yea that's one way to uh to....

[change-the-rules]

SCREAMS PLEASE BE FUXKING TRU AHHHHHHH FUXK YESSS

[change-the-rules]

the only reason this hasn't become a cheryl blossom appreciation blog is bc I've got like 800 saved drafts and also the depression but mostly the drafts

[change-the-rules]

look I know I didnt watch riverdale on purpose after the first ep all those years ago but HOW could y'all let me sleep on cheryl cherry bombshell blossom

[change-the-rules]

ya know what i overestimated how 'hilariously oversized' the pom poms would have to be when musing about a less cracky take on not writing in the pregnancy in my original post tags

cause i was rewatching purgatorio and like the pom poms cheryl's holding? 10000% big enough to hide a pregnancy behind

no offense against baby anthony but riverdale was already being ripped part for it's 'nonsensical' choices that were a feature and not a bug so they should've just ignored vanessa's pregnancy vanessa's a tiny ass lady ya'll had options

just like several episodes of toni just pushing around her motorcycle everywhere she goes with zero explanation

school hallway? motorcycle. vixens practice? coaching from behind the motorcycle. pop's diner? how did you get that motorcycle through the single door. town walkthroughs? the feral dogs avoid me cause i'm a cool cat with.... a motorcycle. town council meeting? in case you forgot i am social working guidance counseling leader of a biker gang -motorcycle *jazz hands* 2bdr apartment with a 3 floor walkup and no elevator? why are you still with the questions m o t o r c y c l e

fangs at some point: yea i don't know how she got it in here either- no i know - it's just yeah no cheryl's still rping sarah winschester-yeah i know -no it's that's her emotional support motorcycle-look it's easier to just not question it