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caiuscassiuss · 5 years ago

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Homecoming (M)

Pairing: NCT Johnny ♡ Female!Reader

Description: When a high school reunion drags you back from the bustling city to your hometown, you can’t help but feel inadequate compared your friends’ settled lives, who have thing you want most— kids. You may get your most desperate wish when your long-lost best friend sweeps into town, not quite the introverted nerd he was from 10 years ago.

Genre: high school reunion au smut | romance WC: 16k Warnings: graphic smut (Dom! Johnny + Sub! Reader, dirty talk, !!!pregnancy kink!!!, unprotected sex, oral sex, rough sex, bulge kink, slight exhibitionism, footsie, slight cum eating, overstimulation), mentions of adultery

(A/N: I’m dedicating this fic to my bestie, my Ten to my Taeyong, my vanilla bean to my weird kinky shit: @kookyong. Thank you so much for supporting me through the creation of this fic and cheering me on when I felt down. Also, fuck you, you stole my idea of dedication before I even told you. Also, a huge thanks to @lovingyong for beta-ing a part of this story and providing such great feedback! I’d also like to thank @galaxybeeji and @aveluant1a for helping me translate some Korean.)

Also, please don’t have unprotected sex and stay safe.

A sigh leaves your lips as you sip at your beer, basking in the electronic light of your phone in the dim, crowded bar. You started reaching over for another fry in the basket, but as you looked up from your phone you noticed there was less than a fourth of the fries remaining.

Apparently, you were steadily but surely devouring the fry basket no one had touched.

Truly, you had no idea why you were here, sitting alone in a dark booth, watching your co-workers slowly lose their inhibitions as the night went on. The little get together your coworkers made took over the whole bar, filling it with laughter and yells all around.

You scrolled through more pictures of your friends’ perfect family lives, each photo of a white-picket house they were moving into or the welcoming their new child slowly piled weight onto your chest. While you have never been claustrophobic, you felt the walls and the people of this little dingy bar on 43rd street close in on you like a vice.

Scooting out of the booth, you stayed to the sides of the crowded room while attempting to navigate groups of tipsy adults. You inwardly cringed of how much you stood out, a dark spot staining the convivial atmosphere.

“Y/N?”

You whipped around wide-eyed to see Sara standing behind you, a slight sloppy smile plastered to her face as your middle-aged co-workers stared at her unabashedly. Young, beautiful, vivacious— Sara was the office catch, in her red slip and heels. She was dressed to kill.

“Hey! Sara,” you said awkwardly, twiddling with the flap of your purse. Even standing in your best slinky dress in front of her, you felt like a washed out, pale imitation of her.

“Where are you off to? The party just started!” she giggled, the shimmery sequins of her dress sparkling along with her smile.

You quickly tried to formulate a valid excuse. “I actually—”

A loud ring came from your cell phone, vibrating against your thigh.

“I just need to step out real quick to answer this call,” you smiled softly, hoping to convey you needed to take this urgent call as quickly as possible.

“Well, okay,” she pouted. You motioned to step out but a soft hand on your arm stopped you.

Turning back to Sara, she looked unusually serious as she gripped your arm slightly.

“Y/N, have some fun here, alright? You work so hard, you deserve a night out. Especially since you’re all alone-”

What you hoped was a smile was plastered to your face as you shook yourself out of her grip, your small “thanks” murmured into a loud bar unheard as you stepped out.

“Cynthia?” you asked into the phone, sitting on a chair on the terrace.

“Y/N! Oh my god, girl, how are you?” your high school friend squealed into the phone.

Wondering how she could be awake at this time as a new mom, you quickly realized she was a few hours behind New York time.

“Hey yourself, I’m doing well. How about you?” you asked softly.

“I’m doing well! I just had to tell you about Ryland! Our new son, remember? So-”

As she gushed over the first words of her newborn baby, you hummed and agreed at the appropriate moments. You marveled at how much she had changed since your high school days. This was a big difference from the wild girl from high school you knew, the girl with sharp cheekbones with an even sharper wit. Now, in her profile pictures she was rounded and aglow from the joys of motherhood. Your hand slowly rose to meet where your eye and cheekbone met, feeling the flesh that lay there. You had no laugh lines.

“-invitation?”

“Huh?” you asked, shaking out of your stupor.

Cynthia huffed. “Sily, I said did you get my invite on Facebook?”

“No,” you said plainly. You were lying, of course. You had seen the invite, but you scrolled past without even looking at the title.

A groan resounded from the phone. “Y/N, what am I supposed to do with you? God, it’s an invite to our high school reunion!”

Immediately, you wanted to say no. Like, hell no, but you thankfully held your tongue.

“Oh, really? That’s great, Cynthia, but I’m afraid I can’t go—”

“Wait! I haven’t even mentioned the date! It’s a few weeks from now, and you just have to go! Everyone does!”

Truthfully, you had no desire to go back to your old town and see your friends’ perfect families and their perfect kids, their perfect domestic lives. Your high school reunion was always popular with alumni as an event to flaunt how much they were making, how gorgeous their significant other was, how adorable their kids were. It was all one big clusterfuck of gossip and arrogance— not endearing at the slightest.

“Everyone misses you, Y/N. I know I do.”

“I miss you too but I don’t know, I’m really busy with work—”

“Shut up, Y/N. You’re just using that as an excuse since you’re too scared to face everyone.”

Ah, there’s her sharp riposte. Her wit had not dulled with her age, it seems.

“Cynthia—” you stuttered, unable to reply to her retort.

“You bet your ass I will fly out to New York, find you in that concrete jungle then drag you back to attend this goddamn reunion.”

“...I’ll see,” you relented.

“Great! So—” a baby’s cry resounded in the background. “Oh my gosh, I have to go to Ryland now! I’ll text you the details later, bye bye!”

The dark screen of your phone stared back at you as she hung up on you. You could only pray to some higher being this reunion wouldn’t turn out badly.

The skyline of your hometown was unfamiliar to you.

There were a few shadows added, maybe some missing, maybe not. It is not the familiar curves and dips you always used to see when you glanced out your bedroom window.

Even passing through the main part of the town itself, it was so surreal. There were so many new buildings of glass and concrete that juxtaposed the old timey feel of the main street. New signs, new roads, new people passed by you in your Lyft ride.

You had to stop yourself from wondering over the town when you saw your breath fog up the windshield and you hastily jerked back. You hoped the driver didn’t see you looking like an excited 8 year old.

As the car slowly turned into your parent’s neighborhood, a wave of pure nostalgia hit you like a truck. As your eyes traced over the familiar houses on your street, a whole flood of innocent, child-like memories came back to you. All the times playing ball in the street with your neighbor, or even waiting nervously at the bus stop for the first day of school— long forgotten things from your past rose up.

Memories of tanned skin and wide smiles filled your memory, and you felt a pang with in your heart.

Johnny Suh.

“Uhm, ma’am? We’re here?”

You were shaken out of your memories but the sound of the Lyft driver looking at you nervously through his rearview window.

“Oh, sorry sir! Thank you for the ride.”

Your two heavy suitcases rolled behind you as you strolled through your parents’ large driveway, and your heart started to beat nervously as you saw the front door slowly getting larger.

Hands trembling, you rung the doorbell and stared into the cloudy glass.

You heard flurry of footsteps pitter patter to the front, and you thought you were prepared when your mother opened front door, but turns out you weren’t.

“Y/N?”

Your mother looked as beautiful as ever, the crow lines underneath her eyes and the wisps of grey in her hair looking gorgeous. You haven’t seen her in years, and you could feel a gathering of tears in your waterline.

“Mommy,” you said, choking up a bit towards the end.

“My darling girl? My sweetheart? You’re here?”

“Yes, mom.”

“Y/D/N, come! Y/N is back!”

As your dad came tearing down the hall and his eyes focused on you, you saw his old eyes brighten and fill up with tears.

“My little turtle?”

“Hi daddy!” you smile weakly, giving a little wave.

“Come and give your dad a hug! I haven’t seen you in so long!”

As you rested in the embrace of your mother and father, you thought that maybe coming home wasn’t so bad at all.

The afternoon sun beat down upon your bare shoulders, your wide-brimmed boater hat offering no respite.

You could only drink your ice-cold lemonade in hopes of cooling down and not feeling like a sweaty rat, fanning yourself with a menu and looking over the balcony.

“—and Ryland goes “I wanna pear, mommy!” and then Callie says ,”Ryland, that’s a potato.” It was a mango!”

Cynthia cracked up laughing, and you let out a few peals of laughter so as to not seem awkward. Every time Cynthia mentioned her darling kids, a burning jealousy gripped your heart until you could only see green. You truly wish you could enjoy your friends’ stories about how her kids could say the darndest things, but it only increased your yearning for kids tenfold.

“Well, enough about my life. How’s your job in the Big Apple? You’re one of those white collar types now, aren’t you?”

You sipped at the lemonade, wishing it was something much stronger. Your eyes swept over her appearance; the Facebook pictures were wrong, she was much more radiant in person. “You could say that, I guess. I travel a lot, though I’m only in New York half of the year. Usually I end up in the UK or Beijing. My work is very good to me.”

Cynthia sighed in faux envy, her hand resting over her swollen breasts from pregnancy. “You’re so cool, Y/N. It must be so fun traveling all over the world and seeing all these new things, tasting all the great food!”

You thought back to your large, empty apartment overlooking the Greenway that felt more like a showroom.The film of dust your housekeeper had to clean. The vacant adjacent plane seats. The uncomfortable fact you never had someone to go home to.

“Yeah, you could say that.”

After a few minutes of light hearted chat, your straw was sucking at your almost empty glass. God, you needed to pee.

“Sorry, Cy. I gotta go to the restroom for a minute, un momento!”

After relieving yourself, you stepped out of the restroom only to walk face first into a well-built chest. As much as you wanted to press your whole body onto his delicious one, it wasn’t exactly societally acceptable to be seen rubbing yourself against a stranger like a dog in the heat.

You (unfortunately) moved back, apologizing profusely. “I am so sorry, are you alrig...”

The last syllables left your mouth at the pace of molasses at your shock of seeing this god of a man in front of you. Tall, broad shouldered, with hidden muscles flexing under his casual white oxford shirt with the sleeves rolled up, exposing his veiny forearms.

And his face. His face was like sin, chiseled as hell with pouty lips and sharp eyes. But as your gaze roamed over his features, you saw the scar near his lips that was barely visible. Only one person you knew had that unique scar, in its unique placement. He got it from accidentally knocking his trumpet too hard into his lips in sophomore year.

“Johnny?!” you gasped.

His face brightened up for a second, a brilliant gleam to his eyes until it went away in a flash.

“Y/N.”

His dark, tenor tone raised gooseflesh along your bare arms and shoulders. This was definitely not the Johnny you knew so well from high school.

After a moment of awkward silence (he didn’t look inclined to embrace you in a hug or even speak), and you spoke up. “Um, it’s great to see you. You look good.”

“Thanks, you too,” he said shortly.

A slight crease formed on your brow as you frowned lightly, not used to his coldness. If this were the Johnny you knew in high school, he would’ve wrapped you in a big bear hug with his long, lanky limbs flailing. He looked like he grew into those limbs.

“Well, do you have time to catch up? I haven’t seen you in a decade,” you breathed out.

He pursed his lips for a moment. “Sorry, I’m afraid I can’t. I’m only here because I’m meeting an old investor.”

It was only then you noticed his fancy watch and his shined Weston shoes, along with the dark leather briefcase he had in his hand. He looked like a Wall Street shark.

You were sure your face fell for a second, since he frowned minutely, until you felt a mask of pity snap into place. “That’s a shame. Well, have fun with your investor. See you… sometime.”

You bravely moved to pat his arm, and his face did not change even when you passed by him. You felt his intense gaze upon your retreating figure and until you were sure he couldn’t see you, sprinted through the crowded cafe to your balcony table with Cynthia.

“God, what took you so long?” she complained. “Our food already arrived.”

“Did you know Johnny Suh was in town?! I just ran into him!” you fake whispered.

Her brows lifted in surprise. “No? I didn’t see him on the Facebook guest list—”

You quickly pulled out your phone and opened the invite list. There, in dark navy font, was Johnny Suh.

“He was your best friend, right? The nerdy band kid you was always with?”

You felt the edges of your mouth pull down. “Hey, he’s not like that. He was a great and friendly guy! But I haven’t seen him in forever.”

“Well, how is he?”

“I-He looked like a damn god, Cynthia. He’s so different from high school. I couldn’t even recognize him,” you breathed out.

Her eyebrows only climbed higher in surprise. “Well, I’ll be. Was not expecting that.”

You snorted. “No one was, even his fucking best friend of 4 years didn’t.”

Cynthia took a bite of her salad, a look of contemplation upon her rounded features.

“Something wrong, Y/N?”

You hugged yourself and looked away. “Well, when I say he’s not like from before, he really isn’t. I wasn’t expecting him to be this cold.”

This really wasn’t a situation you wanted to be in. At all.

Sitting here in a pretty, floral sundress, sitting on a park bench in the midst of all your former classmates chatting with decked out strollers parked beside them.

You tried your best to not feel uncomfortable, as Cynthia looked like she was enjoying herself, but this was simply not your speed. You’d never expected Cynthia to be friends with the popular kids at school in the future, but look where she was now. Chattering and giggling with the rest of them.

Your discomfort was only enforced by how different you looked from everybody, how Cynthia’s PTA mom friends were dressed like they were about to go to play tennis. They knew each other well and could giggle and gossip, but you were in your own isolated world.

Last, but not least:

They all had children.

You stared enviously at the little angels ran around the playground, screaming and cavorting about. Some stumbled on their legs, new to the concept to walking, but some sat quite passively staring out in space. Reluctantly, a smile crept upon your face as a group of little ones played tag. They ran, weaving in and out between children and playground equipment. Your eyes followed a darling girl dressed in red, with her cheeks flushed in excitement as she zoomed around but then--wham!-- slammed into a playground pole.

A gasp escaped your mouth and you almost stood up to go to her, until a tired groan resounded from across from you as a tanned blonde lazily got up to attend to her child. Then, you were bitterly reminded that, no, that was not your beautiful child.

“Oh my, poor Kayla, that little darling is always getting hurt! Bless her poor heart!” a woman (Kendall, maybe?) dressed in neon pink cooed her concern.

You could only sulk in pathetic silence as you deliberately excluded yourself from the conversation, too uncomfortable and upset to truly feel at place. Hell, it wasn’t just because you were clearly an outsider, it was the way this group of women treated people they thought lower them. Sudden memories came to you of Johnny’s crooked smile fading as he realized they never thought of him as a friend. How his friendly, warm personality was used against him as he helped them with their homework but was never truly thought as “in”. He cried so much that night.

“-you nowadays, Y/N?”

You whipped your head back around to see one of the nicer women, Katie, smiling at you as the whole group focused on your angered face.

“I’m sorry, come again? I’m afraid I was distracted.”

She laughed. “No problemo, sweetie. I just said ‘How are you?’ What’s going on in your life?”

A tight smile spread across your mouth. “I’m doing well right now. I work in New York as a private manager for J.P. Morgan,” you said politely, steeling yourself for the onslaught of questions.

“Ooh, so do you get paid well? Do you travel a lot?” someone butt in. You turned to see it was that one noisy theater kid (Anna?) and you decided to answer politely.

You tittered out a delicate laugh, the type you emit when you have to play nice with a client. You turn a modest smile Anna’s way. “I get by comfortably, and yes, I’m usually out of the country until someone here,” you side-eyed Cynthia, who waved cheerfully, “convinced me to come back for the reunion.”

Noises of approval came from the group, and they continued to ask polite questions until one sugary sweet drawl slithered in.

“Well, you sound so accomplished! This is all so amazing,” the tanned, voluptuous brunette 2 seats down from you piped up. “But, do you have anyone to share it with? Any hotshot hubby? Darling kids?”

You gritted your teeth, “No, unfortunately my job hasn’t allowed me to have much personal time.”

The other part of group turned away, wandering into other conversations and leaving the two of you relatively alone. She gasped dramatically, showing her immaculate gel manicure. “Are you even of the female kind?!” she playfully joked, but you could hear the undertone of smugness beneath.

Oh. Now you remember.

Victoria Edwards, that little bitch from the church group that always seemed to hate you. You had no idea what was her problem, especially since your parents had long been friendly with hers. Perhaps it was the fact you were amiable with everyone while many were tired of her spoiled attitude. Nevertheless, every chance she had to spite you or make things uncomfortable, she took it. Victoria did it with such calculated anger, you wondered what you ever did wrong to her. You never found out; she just had it out for you.

You shrugged modestly, careful to hide your trembling fingers in the folds of your dress lest you reach out a put her in a chokehold.

“But don’t you want kids? Who’s going to take care of you when you get older?” she continued, a look of faux pity on her heart-shaped face.

She just can’t stop, huh?

“Perhaps if everything slows down,” you replied carefully.

“Your eggs are going to get cold if you wait too long! I’ve heard those new fangled procedures for older women are very risky with a low chance of—”

“Thank you for the advice, Victoria. You seem very well-read on it— since your husband is always busy, you know— and you sound like you have some good experience under your belt. I’ll come to you for any help.”

You send a charming smile her way, and slowly rise up from your comfortable perch. Waving a goodbye Cynthia’s way, you continue to depart.

You refrain from sashaying away.

Wandering through the paths of your town’s best park, you reveled in the feeling of truly being in nature for the first time in over a decade. New York had Central, sure, but your town’s really immersed you in the outdoors without sky-scraping structures looming threateningly over you.

Closing your eyes to feel the radiant sunshine on your skin, you were startled when a little girl’s cry broke the peaceful silence of the area. It sounded muffled, but not too far away from where you were from.

“Hello? Sweetie, where are you?”

The cries only grew louder, and your footsteps only grew more frantic as you searched through the undergrowth.

“Hold, I’m coming to get you—”

You burst into a secluded part of the path and see a familiar little girl in a yellow jumpsuit bawling her eyes. You spotted a blotch of red and brown on her pale elbow and you practically ran to her shaking figure.

“Oh, poor sweetie, are you okay?”

She pulled her head out from her knees and cautiously stared at you, her cries dying down. You recognize her immediately. She was Cynthia’s snarky little 5 years old, Callie.

“I want M-mommy,” she pouted, rubbing her eyes so adorably you couldn’t help but melt.

“Hey, hey, don’t worry it’s Aunt Y/N,” you smiled kindly at her.

“A-Auntie?” she sniffled.

“Yes, sweetheart.”

She put her arms up and you obliged, careful not to jostle her wound too badly.

“Let’s go to Mommy, alright? It’s gonna be A-Okay.”

She buried your face in your neck, her soft puffs of hair brushing your cheek and you almost melted right there on the spot.

“You wanna tell me what happened, baby?” you asked, taking a fast past towards the trail path.

“I twipped on somethin’,” she mumbled.

“I’m so sorry sweet girl, how much does it hurt?”

“Vewy bad.”

“Oh dear,” you whispered.

As soon as you saw a small shed that had a red cross over it, you quickly made your way on over. Sitting her on the counter gently, you smiled your best smile.

“Auntie’s gonna get you all cleaned up, okay?”

She nodded, and you took that as consent when you reached for a first aid kit. You immediately cringed, knowing the first step was going to be painful for both of you.

“Baby, to get rid of the red and black, I’m gonna have to clean it. It might sting a bit so can you a strong girl for me?”

You saw her stubbornness Cynthia frequently complained about, as she jutted out her lip and nodded resolutely.

Getting out the alcohol and pads, you gave her a warning as you lightly pressed, She made a noise of discomfort, and your head snapped up to see if she was any pain.

“Callie?”

“I-I’m fine, Auntie,” she mumbled firmly.

Pinching her cheek playfully, you continued to disinfect the wound to reveal a light scrape on the skin of her elbow. Wrapping it up nice and tight, you patted her thigh.

“All done, baby,” you smiled. “Good job,” you pressed a kiss to her forehead.

“Is she yours?”

You let out a little scream as you dropped the cotton pads. You snapped your head to see Johnny Suh in a sleeveless tank and jogging shorts, a light sheen to his muscles from his work out.

He has one fit bod, a part of you whispered. The veins in his toned forearms, his fit calves, the hint of his strong chest in his tank—

There was a child next to you, for god’s sake!

Callie was laughing next to you, all her pain forgotten. Recovering from your shock, you rolled your eyes and playfully booped her on the nose, causing her to swat at it playfully.

“You silly little goose,” you chastized. She giggled even more, a beautiful smile split on her face.

A cough resounded from behind you and you remembered Johnny fucking Suh was behind you in the hottest workout gear you’ve ever seen and you blanched.

“So?” he raised an eyebrow, nodding towards Callie.

“Nope, this little sweetheart is Cynthia’s,” you said, squeezing Callie closer.

“Oh,” he merely said. You thought you detected a glimpse of relief on his face, before he moved it to that impassive mask.

His sharp eyes zoomed in on the bandage at her elbow and he frowned. “What happened? Is everything alright?”

“Everything’s fine, just a minor trip,” you soothed, picking up Callie from the counter.

“Auntie, who is that?” she inconspicuously whispered, causing you to muffle your laughter against her head. Johnny had a slightly amused grin on his face.

“That’s Mr. Johnny. He��s an old… friend of mine,” you informed her, shifting her on your hip.

“Hi Mr. Johnny! I’m Callie and I’m 6 years old!” Callie brightly smiled, holding up 5 fingers.

“Sweetie, you need one more finger to make six,” you giggled, as you uncurled another finger on her other palm to make six.

Johnny let out a chuckle and bent down to eye level with the child in your arms. “Hiya kid. You can call me Johnny.”

“How old are you Mister Johnny? You look… like… very old!,” Callie flails her arms, unable to properly express the number.

A small smile graced his face, a glow in his eyes as he looked at the small child in your arms. His face wasn’t the one you saw in the cafe. “Not quite, baby. I’m the same age as your mommy.”

Callie continued to entertain Johnny as the three of you walked down the path, towards where her mom was sitting. Eventually, the adrenaline of the whole experience of getting hurt and meeting someone new wore off, and she slept soundly on your shoulder.

An awkward silence permeated between you and Johnny, as you busied yourself with the scenery you had seen hundreds of times while he regressed to his cold persona. His presence next to you was too close yet too far, and you could feel how tense you were walking next to him. Sometimes, his arm would brush against your shoulder and it ignited a series of nerves you haven’t felt in years. It was like there was a furnace flowing underneath your skin. You curled Callie in your arms a bit tighter to stave off whatever he was doing to you.

You felt Callie rustle a bit and you knew that if she woke up, she would be extremely grumpy so you hummed lightly, bouncing her up and down in your arms while patting her back lightly. So focused you were in your task, the undecipherable look in Johnny’s eyes went unnoticed.

“How have you been?,” Johnny spoke, his low voice still so unfamiliar to your ears.

Your head snapped up toward his, him now towering over you when you had once been his height. His black hair lay across his eyes, his amber eyes intensely focused at you.

“I’ve been alright. Good,” you mumbled.

Another lengthy period of silence stretched between you.

“...I heard you were snatched up by J.P. Morgan when you graduated. That’s a good company,” Johnny said.

“Yeah, I’m now a private manager there. They’ve— the company—has been very good to me over these years,” you smiled slightly. It was true, the company had treated you well and given you a career, but you were still so...lonely.

“You look like you’re doing well for yourself.”

“....yes.” Silence. “You too— you look like you’re doing well.”

“I’d like to think so. I-, uhm, I’m the CEO of an online banking company— Banksy, have you heard of it?”

You were embarrassed to admit you gaped at him for a solid minute. Banksy? It was one of the trendiest e-businesses that had grown exponentially when the tech boom hit the market. The small start-up crested the wave until it had become a blue-chip name on the stock exchange. You even had an account with them!

“I-I have. I even have an account with them— you. Wow, Johnny, congratulations, that’s honestly amazing,” you smiled brightly at him, really and truly proud of your high school best friend doing so well for himself— no matter how cold he was to you.

A reluctant smile crawled over his plump lips, and you realize how much you had missed him. Yes, he was your best friend in every sense the word meant. He had been there and celebrated when you made it onto the softball team, offered you his hoodie when your period had come out of nowhere, even been there when you had gotten into an accident, senior year.

He had gotten there first. Not the police, not your parents— him, in his stupid Naruto pajamas, pulling up in his shitty 2001 Honda Accord and bawling his eyes out.

You hadn’t realized how much you relied upon him until you moved to college in another state, totally lost and confused without your best friend. Regret had always been an emotion associated with his name. You wished you had kept in contact with him, and even more so regretted you hadn’t ever truly revealed your...

“Thank you, Y/N.”

He opened up his mouth to say something, then immediately opened it again, but then paused. He looked like he was having a conflict within himself, but he shook his head and stared directly at you.

“Y/N, I’m sorry I couldn’t really talk to you that day with met at the cafe. It was a bit… rude in hindsight.”

You blinked in shock, mouth slightly ajar as you stumbled on the path.

“O-Oh, that? Don’t worry about it— I get it, we’re all so busy nowadays,” you offered a weak smile.

“No, I’m in the wrong here. We were… we were best friends for years, I shouldn’t have treated you like that.”

His brows furrowed, you notice how much he has matured. Not just in his looks and the way he presented himself, it was the way he treated you. Don’t get it wrong (he was a sweetheart during high school), but he seemed more sure of himself, more able to take responsibility and address conflict. He had always had kind of avoided confrontation, the one part you hated of him you hated during high school, and would always just kind of awkwardly wait for any conflict to pass by and ignore it. He was so much Johnny, but so much less.

“Hey, it’s alright. We were both just not used to each other, y’know? You were probably stressed out at the time and took it out on me. There’s no need to get in a tizzy over that.”

“It’s just I haven’t seen you in years and I treated you like that—”

“Youngho.”

His Korean name sort of forced itself out of your mouth, hiding in the back of your throat all these years and finally popping back up when the man himself did. No one really knew of his other name other than his sweet mother and you, since your white-ass town would’ve butchered it until the point of disfiguration. Hearing you say it had always calmed him down.

“...fine,” he pouted. Maybe, just maybe, you saw bits of the old Johnny peek through the new mask, new body of his. “Man, I just feel terrible about it, though. It hasn’t left my mind in days.”

“Why don’t you make it up to me by getting a coffee with me sometime? I.. I’d love to catch up, Johnny. I’d really, really like to.”

His dark eyes met yours and yours widened.

“I’d love to.”

By the time your unlikely trio reached the PTA moms plus Cynthia, it was already late afternoon. The sun had turned golden, the kids were getting tired, and the music from your town’s main street could be faintly heard.

“Y/N? Y/N?! Have you seen—” Cynthia called out frantically, waving her cell phone around but paused when she saw her child in your arms.

“Oh my god, Callie! Sweetheart!”

She sprinted across the sidewalk to immediately take the sleepy child from your tired arms. You could see the sunlight glint off her sweaty face, her unkempt hair frizzing out of her bun while she rocked Callie in her arms.

A slight grin graced your face as you tilted your head and took in the sweet mother-daughter moment. Unbeknownst to you, the man beside you had the same expression on as well, his hands itching to pull you closer.

“Cynthia? Sweetheart, did you find Callie?” someone shouted from the side.

A flock of moms headed towards your general direction, all carrying their kids with them and hoisting their heavy bags. As soon as they reached you, their eyes had wandered from Cynthia and zoomed in on the delectable piece of man next to you. You remembered how he looked with his toned and veiny arms on display in his loose tank, how good he looked with his hair windblown and disheveled and you inwardly smacked your head. He was basically bait for middle-aged women.

“Y/N, who is this? Would you care to introduce us?” the woman you thought was Kendall cocked out her hip, her eyes still fixated on Johnny.

“This is—”

“Am I late to the party? Well, thank god we found Ca— oh, who is this?”

Everyone’s favorite girl Victoria sauntered into your midst, her rambunctious kids following behind her.

You gave a tight smile. “Ladies, do you remember Johnny Suh from high school? This is him.”

The women present smiled brightly but did not seem to remember his name.

“I’m so sorry, I can’t seem to recall you from back then,” Victoria smiled apologetically. Your eyes zoomed in on the subtle movements she displayed— the slight stroking of her bare arms, the hooded lids— and you rolled your eyes.

“Hold on, weren’t you a trumpet in marching band? Vice president of the Anime Club?” Anne popped out, the glint of recognition in her eyes,

Johnny chuckles and shifted his weight. “Yeah, that was me,” he said, with a sort of secretive smile on his lips.

You watched with smug satisfaction as the ladies’ eyes collectively widened in disbelief, Victoria even going stiff for a moment before recovering. The boy they had excluded, used, looked down on, had grown into this man next to you.

“W-well, I’ll be! You’ve changed so much from back then,” Kendall (still unsure who the hell she is) grinned.

“You could say that,” Johnny smirked before pushing his hair out of his face, everyone’s eyes following his toned arms flexing.

Karma is so sweet.

“Y/N, mom threatened to decapitate me if I didn’t invite you to dinner. Could you come over?”

Always the momma’s boy.

“You want to save this sexy face, right?”

There he was. That was the Johnny you knew.

“Mm, I don’t know. You could use a little ego beat down,” you laughed, bending down to open your suitcase.

“Don’t lie, love, you find me attractive,” he breathed, his voice rough. You bit your lip at the noise, gripping your shirt tight enough to create wrinkles.

A beat of silence passed before you moved to speak. “Dress code, Johnny?”

He snorted. “You could show up in pajamas and mom and dad would still be glad to see you.”

“Even in those silly Naruto pajamas you wore?” you teased.

“Hey! They were not silly-”

“- sure, anime club VP-”

“- and shut up, you stole them anyways.”

You sighed, remembering the orange pajama top stuffed in the back of a cabinet. “I mean, I could just show up naked if you’re not going to give me some kind of dress code.”

A muffled grunt met your ears as it sounded like he quickly moved the phone away from his mouth and your eyes widened.

“Ugh, sorry about that I...dropped something. But fine, woman, dressy casual. Mom just came back from church and she wants to see dad and I look at least somewhat presentable.”

“How is your mom, by the way? The church?”

“Both doing fine. Mom is running the back to school drive again. Remember Mark Lee? That kid in our youth group? He’s actually the Faith Formation leader now.”

“Markie? Oh my god, I missed him!” you smiled widely as you remembered the hyper boy 4 years younger than you, who was too kind and too pure for his own good.

“I’m starting to feel offended, what about me?”

“No, ‘cause he’s cute and you’re not, Johnny.”

“That right, ‘cause I’m sexy.”

“Oh my god.”

You both burst out laughing, the moment feeling so right it warmed your chest. You laid your floral dress on your bed and flopped down next to it.

“Well, if you’re done inflating your ego, I gotta get ready. Bye bye.”

“Bye, love.”

You sighed for the umpteenth time today and your eyes were drawn around your room. Colorful pictures, awards, and random stuff covered the walls and surfaces of your room. It looked so lived in, so alive and loved it hurt to think about going back home to your starkly empty bedroom.

To be honest, you had no idea what happened. Cynthia liked to call you the ultimate girl next door, and while you vehemently protested it at the time, now you couldn’t help but feel she was right. Back then you thought you were antisocial as hell, but as opposed to the present, you were the life of the party. Clubs, church group, Johnny— you were so bright and bubbly back then, so many people surrounding you in your small hometown.

Now, as opposed to then, you lived life like clockwork. It wasn’t surprising, since after college you threw yourself into studying to be successful, forgetting everything and everyone that made you feel alive. Now, it was robotic, tiring, and lonely.

The picture at the very center of your room caught your attention. It was a lovely one, set during the late afternoon at your town’s park. You and Johnny stood close together, arm in arm, smiling brightly at the camera dressed to the nines.

Prom.

Picking up the frame, you brushed a reverent hand across the picture of the two of you. You both had no one to go with, and decided to go together since everyone else you knew paired off. You remember him awkwardly sliding the white corsage onto your wrist, you having to tip-toe to pin his to the lapel of his blazer. In hindsight, Johnny in senior year was starting to look like the Johnny of today.

That night was so fun. Dancing ‘til you had to take off your heels, Johnny pretending to spike the punch, stuffing your face with the fancy sandwiches provided— the classical prom experience.

The highlight was when Johnny pulled you into dancing the last song of the night. The pair of you couldn’t look each other in the eye as you slowly swayed to the music, breaths hitching at the slight distance between each other. But at the end, when you two finally caught each other’s gazes, was exhilarating. He opened his mouth, his eyes shifting back and forth in nervousness.

You thought he was going to confess.

Instead, he seemed to stop himself and smiled weakly at you. That moment of what could have been, what you could’ve done, haunted you forever until you threw yourself into studying.

What would’ve happened if you had spoken up?

“Y/N-ah!!! My love, come here!”

Heat diffused into your cheeks as you crossed the yard to the tiny woman under the patio bouncing with energy.

You struggled not to run and leap into Mrs. Suh’s arms while carrying a small roll cake from Tous Les Jours. But when you saw her wide smile and eyes folded up like crescents in happiness, you dropped your stuff on the ground and ran into her arms.

“Hi Auntie!” you murmured into her shoulder as you embraced her, tears coming into your eyes as you settled into her warm embrace.

“Oh, Y/N! I haven’t seen you for 10 years, don’t cry!” Mrs. Suh laughed as she held you at arm's length, eyes roving over your face. She wiped a tear off your cheek with her thumb and patted your neck.

“You’ve always been pretty, but now you’ve grown to be so beautiful.” She pinched your arm. “But why aren’t you eating more? Come, auntie will get you some good food.”

“I brought a roll cake, Auntie. I hope you like it,” you said, wiping tears off your face as she led you down the hall.

“Thank you, sweetheart. 여보 (Husband)! Y/N is here! Come out, come out!” she yelled down into the home office.

“Eh? Y/N?” Mr. Suh’s thin voice echoed from the office as a new wave of tears threatened to rise up.

Mr. Suh, a bit older and thinner than when you last saw him, opened the door to his office and a wide smile lit up his face.

“Give your uncle a hug!”

As you gave your best friend’s dad a hug, more tears spilled onto your cheeks. “Oh, sweetheart, don’t cry!” Mrs. Suh said as she grabbed you into a side-hug, wiping off your tears.

“I just missed you guys so much,” you blubbered, struggling to compose yourself. Tears started to come to Mrs. Suh’s eyes and Mr. Suh laughed. These two had been more than your best friend’s parents, they had raised both of you through thick and thin. You were closer to them than most of your family when you were in high school, and they had never failed to welcome you into their home with open arms.

“Y/N, my wife has been missing her church helper. Bake sales don’t make themselves and she’s getting so old these days, you know?” he said, teasing his wife.

She released you as she slapped his arm. “Yah! You know what, you can set up the table by yourself.. Go!”

You smiled at the utter love and admiration in their eyes as they teased each other. You had always hoped that one day, you could stare into your significant other’s eyes with an ounce of the love they have.

“Ah, Johnny’s probably still fussing with his hair upstairs. He’s missed you so much these days,” she smiled up at you.

“Moooommmm,” Johnny whined, coming down the stairs. “내 비밀 드러내지 마세요! (Don’t reveal my secrets)!”

“What? It’s true, John-ah,” she smiled at him she hugged his torso.

He turned to you, and you looked down, blushing. Johnny looked extra good today, in a casual Oxford and jeans combo that emphasized his proportions.

“Hi there,” he said, leaning on the railing. He gave you a discreet wink from above his mother’s head and affixed an intense stare on your person, his eyes roving up and down your body.

“H-Hey John,” you mumbled, your body curling on itself from his gaze.

“Well, I’m going to leave you two kids alone before my husband breaks something,” she said with a mysterious sparkle in her eye. As if on cue, silverware clattered onto a plate. “Oh dear,” she muttered as she sped down to the kitchen.

The two of you were left in silence.

“You look great today, Y/N.” Johnny smirking as he tilted his head towards you. Where did this confident Johnny come from?

“You too. Since when did you learn such good Korean?” you grinned, trying to lighten the mood. To be fair, Johnny only knew really basic phrases in high school and you were surprised to see unaccented Korean flow fluently from his mouth.

“Oh, I was kinda dropped into the Korea and told to swim, ha.”

“Cool.”

Another awkward silence.

“I missed you a lot, Johnny,” you whispered, foot tracing patterns into the floor.

“Me too, Y/N. I… I missed my best friend.”

You bit your lip as you opened your arms for him and he quickly wrapped his arms around your torso. Even with you standing on your toes, with his tall height he had to bend down slightly. So familiar, yet so different. Breathing in the scent of cologne and the clean linen of his shirt, you hoped he would not hear the pounding of your heart through the thin fabric of your dress.

The two of you stood there in the hallway, basking in the warmth of each other’s bodies until the noise of an iPhone shutter sounded.

Johnny lifted his head from your hair and you looked to see Mrs. Suh standing in the doorway, grinning at the screen of her iPhone which was directed at you.

“엄마 (Mom)!” he groaned, not letting go of you yet.

“I wanted to capture my two loves together, okay? Now give Y/N a pair of slippers, please,” she said, bustling off the kitchen once again.

You let go of him slowly, leaning back down onto the floor.

“You know, you look so different Johnny. I didn’t recognize you at first,” you said quietly, raising a hand to caress his jaw.

“I’ve changed a lot,” he responded, equally as soft. A grin split his face as he grabbed your hand. “You can ogle me later, let’s go before mom smacks me for not helping.”

His hand wrapped around your smaller one as he led you to the dining room table. You tried to go to the kitchen and help but used his grip to force you into a seat, citing you were a guest. You weren’t sure if he did it intentionally, but his hand stroked your arm as he let go of your hand to help in the kitchen, a caress so soft it sent shivers down your spine.

When dinner was served and everyone sat down, you could not resist hungrily scooping large portions of Mrs. Suh’s homemade kimchi-jjigae and Mr. Suh’s galbi onto your plate.

“Eat up, eat up, my love. I cooked your favorites.” Mrs. Suh smiled beside you.

You savored in the taste of her cooking as conversation languidly started, regular family chat you remembered from your many dinners here in high school. As you uncrossed your legs, you accidentally kicked Johnny’s long legs under the table. I’m so sorry, you mouthed silently. Turning back to Mrs. Suh, you couldn’t see the devious smirk crawl upon his plump lips.

You found out Mr. and Mrs. Suh were now fully retired. Mr. Suh spent his days at the Korean Golf Association, playing there and running the tournaments they hosted. Mrs. Suh was now fully committed to the church, taking on a busy schedule of events that was getting hard to manage.

Mrs. Suh was complaining about the new church moms when you quietly asked Johnny to pass the radish over, and he complied. Instead of just handing you the dish, he forked over some slices and dipped them in vinegar, just the way you like it. You grinned at him and he leaned over, then his leg brushed the smooth skin of your bare calves. Your eyes widened.

“...you would not believe how many mothers tried to get me to introduce their daughters to John-ah after I showed them a photo…”

You almost choked as his pant clad leg inserted itself between yours, the fabric of his pants tickling various spots on your legs causing every sense to be heightened. Feeling the goosebumps on your arms, you turned an accusing gaze to him but he looked nonplussed, eating his cabbage.

“...but I’ve met them already, and they’re not for Johnny, you know? They never liked Johnny in high school, so why should…”

You frantically grabbed for a glass of water as his knee brushed the inside of your thigh. A small whine left your lips as your pussy tightened, gripping the glass very tight. A drop of moisture collected in your panties, and quickly created a pool as his legs trapped yours.

“... Oh I love Mark-ah and Hyerim, but you were so good with the kids, Y/N-ah!...”

You let a curtain of hair cover your face to hide your reddening expression, breasts heaving as your breathing start to pick up. When his knee started move along the inside of your thigh, your teeth dug into your bottom lip hard enough to bleed, your remaining hand bunching up in your dress. You could see a small smirk form on Johnny’s face while he was eating and you scowled in his direction, squirming from the added moisture in your panties.

“...kids, Y/N-ah?”

You were shaken out of your daze when Mr. and Mrs. Suh looked expectantly at you.

“Sorry, auntie?”

“Do you have a husband? Or wife? How about kids— you are a born mother!”

Johnny’s foot slid to meet your ankle, forcing you to swallow hard. You hoped like hell your nipples wouldn’t peak through your dress. You already knew there was no saving your panties, shifting so your arousal wouldn’t stain your dress or the chair beneath you. You laughed awkwardly. “Ah, no, not quite. My job keeps me traveling around so much and I haven’t had time to start a family.”

“You still want one?”

Images of kids with hair like yours running around sunlit fields, a big house and a big belly, swollen with your baby flashed quickly in your head. Your smile turned sad.

“I’d love nothing more than one.”

Mrs. Suh smiled proudly, and turned to Johnny to nag him about her lack of grandkids or a daughter in law. Johnny had stopped playing footsie with you and was trying to avoid his mom’s hands grabbing at his face, but your breath still ran ragged when something occurred to you about your vision.

Those kids had the same eyes as Johnny.

(So caught up in your thoughts, you didn’t notice Mr. Suh nudge Johnny in the arm, silently telling him to “hurry up”.)

“Y/N, I ban you from the kitchen! You are the guest,” Mrs. Suh stressed, waving you out of the question with a soapy glove.

“Absolutely not. I want to help you clean. Besides, you’re getting old, y’know?” you ribbed, pulling back your hair and grabbing a clean towel. As soon as dinner ended, you bolted out of the room into the kitchen, ignoring the stickiness between your legs.

“Aigoo! Fine, fine,” she relented, rinsing a dirty bowl.

Toweling off the glasses Mrs. Suh had recently cleaned, your gaze had wandered to Johnny’s tall figure in the dining room. As he moved about, Johnny seemed so much more comfortable in his lanky limbs, no longer the awkward kid you knew. His actions were done with surety of someone who knew of his own self-worth, sure of his abilities and flaws. Regret washed over you, mixed in with pride. You were so, so proud of the man you see before your eyes, but you desperately wished you could have been part of it.

Mrs. Suh watched you with a secret smile as your toweling slowed down.

“I know I said it before, but Johnny really missed you.”

“Huh?” you asked dumbly, taken out of your stupor.

“During the first few years after high school, I was so sure Johnny was going to break down. You two had become so busy and slowly lost contact— he didn’t know how to function without you! John-ah was like a blind man, stumbling around, aimless. But one day... it somehow all changed.”

“How?” you asked quietly.

“I found him in his room one day, one of the times he came back home. He was reading some of the Post-It notes he would randomly stick around his room, and it looked faded. I couldn’t see it, of course, but I saw John-ah slip into his pocket. The night I saw him, his eyes were bright, his shoulders, determined. His company took off right after he visited.”

Mrs. Suh stopped cleaning as she gazed at her boy, a small smile playing at her lips.

“I’m so proud of the man he has become. Yet… yet he’s told me he doesn’t feel satisfied, you know? Like there’s something empty in his chest. Like he’s looking for something but he doesn’t know what.”

Your breath caught in your throat and your heartbeat started to pound in your ears. How… how could it be so similar? How could he feel the exact same as what you do?

“Personally, I...I think he needs a family. He wants a girl he can love, and, dear god, you don’t know how much he wants kids.”

If you bit any harder, your lip would bleed onto your pretty dress.

“John-ah… you don’t see the look in his eyes when we pass by a child. He just completely stops listening to the conversation, and it’s like he can’t look away. He told me about your friend’s daughter— Callie, yes?— and then he finally realized how much he wanted kids. So, so much.”

A fine tremor wracked your hand as you put away the plates, lost in your thoughts. It wasn’t as if you were shocked, oh no. It was more the fact that you could finally see it: you and Johnny, looking into each other’s eyes, in each other’s loving embrace as your children with your hair and his eyes slept in the crib in front of you.

Distractedly, you toweled the rest of the dishes and kissed her cheek as you shuffled off to the living room.

“Y/N, dear,” she called out after you.

“Yes, Auntie?”

Her eyes suddenly seemed so old.

“You don’t know how scared he was when he thought Callie was yours.”

As promised, the next day Johnny took you out to the best coffee place in your hometown. Broken Egg Cafe was a small place squeezed in between a boutique and an alcohol store on main street, and it was as shabby as it looked on its facade. Mix and match furniture dotted the rustic food place, dim lighting providing an ambient atmosphere. The cafe was the usual haunt of the local community college kids who liked the hipster atmosphere and comfy spots. That, and it was the place where everyone knew that if you went on a date, you were seriously committed to each other.

Trying not to dwell on it, you sat patiently while scrolling through your phone. A grin lit up your face as you saw the series of photos Mrs. Suh had posted on Facebook, all of the Suh family dinner you partook in. You clicked the heart and saved all the photos, and, embarrassingly, the one where Johnny had led you to the table. You were grinning at each other, his hand resting on your shoulder, as Mr. Suh was reached for something out of frame. Quickly, a few taps had replaced the generic background of your phone with the picture.

Funnily enough, all the photos posted had included you in it. Call yourself crazy, but you expected Mrs. Suh to post a few of her and her husband, or her and her son— but no. You could even see the ones where visible sweat gleaned from your brow, shakily smiling after Johnny had played footsie under the table.

“Y/N!”

Speak of the devil and he shall appear. You gave him a quick glance over and, wow, he looked devilishly handsome today. An old Ramones shirt half-tucked into skinny jeans was an interesting contrast to his usual business attire, his ratty converse slapping on the wood beams as he strode towards you.

He evidently saw your glance-over as a shit-eating grin graced his lips, and you could only ignore the heat in your cheeks then bury your head into his chest.

“Hey sweet girl, how are you?” he whispered into your ear, your shoulders tensing as a breath of hot air hit your sensitive neck.

“Well, you?” you murmured near his neck.

“Great as you can be waiting for the reunion tonight,” he snickered.

A snort passed your lips as you flopped down onto the couch, tucking your feet under you and propping your head on your palm. His lanky figure settled into the couch, limbs comfortably positioned to face you.

“I ordered your ridiculous drink, you know. Grande Chai Tea Latte, 3 Pumps, Skim Milk, Lite Water—”

“—no foam, extra hot?” you asked disbelievingly.

“Yes, your frou-frou white girl drink that’ll cause cavities,” he grumbled.

“I could kiss you, you know that?” you blurted, eyes glued to the server bringing you your drink.

He murmured something as you said your thanks to the server, grasping the cup with 2 hands.

“Huh?”

“Nothing, nothing.”

You rolled your eyes and knocked your knee against his. “Didn’t Auntie tell you to stop doing that?”

Soon, a light hearted conversation reminiscing about the past started up. You could both of you slip back into that easy rhythm that was your dynamic back in high school, joking and ranting to each other. You laughed about everything from the time he took up skateboarding and briefly became emo, the antics the band kids had gotten up to, and even your horrible experience with AP Calculus.

“And, oh my god, remember what Jake did at senior prom? I can’t believe he wasn’t expelled,” you said, eyes wide.

“Jake? My lord and savior, Jake?” Johnny asked, his grin widening. “Man, that was my bro. Swag brothers forever.”

“Johnny, he put smuggled in a chicken. To this day I don’t how he did that!”

“Secret.” He put a finger over his lips. “But, I will tell you I had to distract to Prom Committee by B-Boying.”

You shook your head, hiding a smile. “Prom was so fun, wasn’t it? The theme was great that year, they ordered great food—”

“—You went with me, duh—”

“—and I didn’t trip over my dress! You were an okay date for prom.”

Johnny gasped loudly, and laid a hand over his hard, clearly offended. “Excuse me? I clearly remember you made me trip during the last dance! Here I was, being a great date, leading us through the dance, and you placed a wrong foot forward. You!”

You scoffed, crossing your arms. “That was only because you–” you pressed a finger into his hard chest “–were too close.”

“Can you blame me?” he breathed.

It was in that moment you realized how close you were to him. Somehow, throughout the course of the conversation, you both had scooted closer to each other on the couch and ended up with both your legs tangled together.

“W-what are you talking about, Youngho?”

He sighed, his hands unconsciously seeking out yours. “Y/N, can I be honest?”

“Of course you can, you can always be with me,” you reassured, still confused as hell.

A soft smile came to his face. “I... the day at the cafe. I was never in town to meet with my old investor. I came here, back to town and this reunion, in hopes of seeing my beautiful best friend.”

“I–”

“Hold on, let me… let me tell you what’s been on my mind.”

His thumb started stroking hands, your mind briefly registering the large difference in size before freaking out at how close he was to you.

“In high school, you were my only good friend. My pillar, my rock, the only one who held my hand before I became...me. From freshman to senior year, you enchanted me and I could only helplessly fall into you, like a singularity Mrs. Kee harped on about in Physics,” he chuckled.

“Sometimes, I would look at you and think, why me? You could have befriended every other boy, but no. It was me. Even when everyone made fun of me and rejected me, it was always me. And god, prom.”

“I was so damn close to telling you how I felt that night, dancing with you for the last song. I mentally prepared myself and everything, I needed to tell you before we graduated, and I opened my mouth and then it hit me: you deserve someone so much better. You had your whole life in front of you, and why should dorky ol’ me hold you back? I didn’t tell you, and I...I don’t regret it.”

Pain rippled over his face then he composed himself, his stare burning into yours.

“I was so lost without you for years. How could I be with you when I didn’t even know where I was going? But that one day… I decided I was going to find myself. Moved to Korea, started a company… you know the rest. I became the best I could be.”

Tears started to well up at the edges of your eyes, and as your lips quivered you brought a soft hand to cheek. You didn’t know his insecurity ran that deep; you thought those little self-deprecating jokes were just that–jokes. What kind of best friend were you that you let him think so badly of himself, from high school and the years that followed?

He leaned into your touch, and the tension evaporated from his broad shoulders.

“10 years later, and I think that maybe, maybe I’m good enough for myself– good enough for you. So I sign myself up for this stupid little reunion, fly back home, yet in that little cafe I was so unprepared to see you.”

His lips brushed over your palm, like the brush of silk, and then he leaned back.

“When I saw you that day, it felt like a dream. I wasn’t sure if I was seeing you for real and when I knew, I was so fucking happy. And, like a cruel imitation of prom, something held me back.”

“I didn’t realize that maybe you moved on without me, maybe you had a family and a new best friend. I felt so stupid at the time, seeing you look so beautiful, thinking I could just waltz back in we could pick up where we left off. It’s no excuse, but it’s why I lied and was a complete asshole towards you. I was so disappointed in myself.”

You couldn’t hear anything around you, see anything around you, and was engulfed by the vision of your best friend looking at you like a prayer.

“What do you feel now, Youngho?” you whispered.

“I will always see you as my everything.”

His lips brushed against your forehead and he walked out before you could process anything.

“Thanks!” Cynthia calls out as she exits the Uber Black XL. You give a wan smile to the driver as you carefully step out onto the pavement.

The golden sign of the Langham shone bright against the rapidly darkening Chicago skyline, reflecting off the mirror-like glass. Perhaps it was the fact that you were a New Yorker, or the fact you were shivering and it wasn’t because of the cold, but you could not concentrate on the sight at all.

“Isn’t this place gorgeous? The girls and I worked hard to get a banquet hall here, like, hard. Who cares about the thirty minute drive when you can get a place like this?” your friend calls out excitedly, sweeping an arm to emphasize to view.

“You did well for yourselves this time. I bet the committee for the class before ours is steaming,” you shakily joked. Well, not quite. As said before, school reunions were huge for your school, each class trying to outdo each other at every turn, from the venue to the catering and more. Your class must be feeling quite proud right now.

“I bet this is so-so for you, city girl,” she ribbed. A yelp escaped your lips, accusingly looking towards her as you rubbed the spot where she elbowed you. “Oh shut up, PTA mom.”

No matter how much you liked to tease her, Cynthia looked the opposite of a PTA mom tonight. Her cocktail attire hugged her post-pregnancy curves, but, looking at her now, she looked like a mix of her youthful party persona with worldly maturity. She definitely would be turning a few heads tonight.

“C’mon, city girl, let’s go. I need to see if everything is perfect!”

Your 10-year high school reunion was held in a ballroom 2 stories above the street, sumptuous in its decoration and looking more like a corporate dinner than anything else. Dozens of circular tables dotted the floor of the room, each set in the green and gold of your high school colors. A particularly large “Go Spartans! Class of 2XXX” sign was posted right outside the door, attracting people to sign their names onto the banner with a flourish. While you and Cynthia were on time, many people had shown up and milled about the room.

“Oh my god, there’s our val! Let’s see if she’s something cool or just peaked in high school,” Cynthia whispered conspiratorially, dragging your unsure figure towards the crowd.

You tried your best to greet everybody in the large ballroom, but a certain man was still lingering at the forefront of your mind. Every few seconds, you would catch yourself glancing around nervously, especially towards the large double doors that heralded anyone’s arrival. Eventually, when you caught yourself gravitating closer to the entrance, you knew you were being ridiculous.

An expensive-sounding roar sounded outside the building, and a collective head turn had the crowd’s eyes riveted on a white car in the valet lane of the hotel. You didn’t know much about cars, but even looking at it 2 stories up, it looked like something out of a movie. Male murmurs of appreciation were heard as the butterfly doors of the car opened up, even bystanders stopping and staring. You felt a sinking feeling at the bottom of your stomach as a good-looking man in a grey suit stepped out, his black wavy hair visible from a distance.

God, how were you even supposed to talk to Johnny? Somehow, telling him “I’ve secretly pined over you for years and would like to have your babies” didn’t quite do it for you.

“Y/N? Oh my gosh!”

Not this shit again.

Repressing an oncoming headache, you plastered your best fake smile that you put on especially for disagreeable clients and turned towards the snooty, entitled voice that was so familiar.

“Victoria! Wonderful to see you again,” you simpered. Goodness, you could see her fake tan glowing radioactively in the dim light.

“Oh, come here! It’s great to see you here, don’t you look just fab.” Victoria threw her arms out, as if you two were the best of friends, and you stepped into a polite embrace. Granted, now you could see her typical Brooks Brother dress was well-fitted, but screamed “country-club mom!” in your face.

“You’ve got to meet my husband. James, come here!”

A well-built man in a tailored navy suit lumbered towards her, two champagne flutes in his hands. Gazing at his chiseled features and neat blond hair, you could admit Victoria had caught quite the catch.

“Victoria,” he murmured, handing a glass to her. He caught sight of you, his eyes roving predatorily over your body that made you shiver in a not-so-nice way.

“Sweetheart, would you care to introduce me to your friend?” he said, not taking his eyes off of you.

She clearly noticed the way he was speaking to you, her lined eyes narrowing and her lips curling into a snarl.

“Husband, this is Y/N, an acquaintance of mine. We didn’t hang out with the same crowd, she preferred those geeky types,” Victoria emphasized, making it clear that you were undesirable.

He hummed while still looking at your legs and you could spot the signs of a dysfunctional marriage right away. You saw it in the men you worked with, obviously bored with a taste for female coworkers, even though his wedding band shone bright on his left hand. You sort of felt bad for her, no matter how much of a bitch she was to you.

“Anyways, I saw you were looking for someone. Did you bring any hot hubby?” she giggled a bit too brightly.

You smiled tightly. She was clearly trying to humiliate you, but once her dear husband found out you were single, you wouldn’t be surprised if you found yourself cornered in a hallway. “Not today, Vicky,” you said, knowing it would irritate the hell out of her. Victoria hated the nickname ‘Vicky’, claiming it sounded too country-bumpkin for her tastes.

“That’s right! You’re single, with your fancy office job and all–”

“Y/N, I was looking for you.”

It felt like your senses were on superdrive, hyper-alert of the man standing behind you.

You really weren’t prepared for this. You really, really weren’t. You hadn’t had any time to mentally or emotionally prepare for when you spoke to Johnny the next time you saw him, cowardly languishing in a pool of anxiety and insecurity.

Well, you were L/N Y/N. Hired straight out of college for J.P. Morgan. You were promoted and trusted because you could handle high pressure situations like this. So, you put on your big girl face and turned to see Johnny.

His smirking lips were the first thing you saw, and then his eyes, wolfish and sharp. Johnny was indeed the man in the grey suit with the fancy car, and you could see the way this particular get-up highlighted his lean figure.

“Johnny, hey,” you smiled softly, though you were sure there was a nervous lilt to your voice. Evidently, he caught on as his smirk widened and he stepped closer to you. The whiplash was real. One moment he was a lovestruck boy confessing to you in a coffee shop and the next he was a smooth-tongued man that made your knees weak.

“Johnny Suh? Mister Johnny Suh?”

The pair of you looked towards Victoria’s husband, whom looked awe-struck.

“Yes?” Johnny asked, eyes settling on the man in front of him.

There was no masculine size-up moment you’ve always seen in Wall street meetings, but James postured and simpered his way to Johnny.

“It’s great to meet you! I’m James Bouchard, a financial analyst. I worked with Banksy’s finance department before on the 2015 Orchard project.”

A charming smile made its way onto Johnny’s face, the perfect picture of a suave businessman. As great as it was looking at Johnny in his natural element, it was infinitely more amusing to watch the changing moods on Victoria’s countenance. Currently, she was stuck on shock as she learned more about the boy she shunned.

“Is Ms. Y/N your lovely wife? My wife just introduced me to her, you caught a great one,” he winked, trying to flatter Johnny’s ego.

Your best friend (crush? Classmate? Acquaintance?) merely chuckled and snaked an arm around your waist. He looked down at you with undisguised admiration, making you blush and look away. “I’d say she was the one that caught me, since we’ve been best friends since high school. Although, your wife didn’t quite seem to like me in high school. Pity.” Unable to resist, you looked sharply up at him. Since when were you his wife? Well, not that you’d protest, but these kinds of decisions require two consenting adults!

James looked down on his wife with malice in his eyes for potentially ruining a lucrative connection that she didn’t even know would exist. Victoria looked deeply embarrassed.

“Well, it was great seeing both of you! C’mon, James, dear, the food looks lovely,” she said brightly, beating out a hasty retreat with James angrily striding behind.

Sitting in silence for a few moments, you finally raised an eyebrow, a common signal that you used to ask him to ‘explain’. He opened his mouth, but a shout of his name had both of you turning towards the origin. Johnny rolled his eyes, and went to speak to you again but louder, greater shouts interrupted him.

“Look, baby, I’ll talk to you later, okay?” he ran a hand through his hair, clearly frustrated at the interruption.

“Go to your swag bros, Johnny. I think they miss you,” you said drily as they began clanging glasses.

“You’re the best,” he kissed your forehead hurriedly.

“Ooh-la-la, what was that about?” Cynthia sauntered up beside you, looking in the direction of the tall man.

“It was nothing, Cynthia.”

“Nothing? Johnny-with-the-great-biceps called you ‘baby’ and kissed you on the forehead, I don’t think that’s nothing.”

“Cynthia, I…” you bit your lip, discomfited.

Her eyes softened, seeing the deeply troubled set to your face.

“Let’s go to somewhere else.”

“—and now I don’t know what to do!”

Cynthia nodded mutely after hearing you explain the past days’ goings on, from the cafe to the walk and even to the dinner. She was uncharacteristically staying silent, soaking in the information as you recounted the tale.

She looked contemplative for a few moments, before her eyes sought yours. “You want to know what I think?”

“Aren’t you here for that?” you snapped.

She looked you dead in the eye. “You’re being an absolute idiot right now.”

You spluttered for a few seconds. “Uh- what? Hold on, Cynthia—”

“He’s deeply in love with you, and from what I’ve heard you sound like you feel the same. It’s that simple.”

“I-I—”

“Tell me right now, what would happen if he got married right now to someone that wasn’t you?”

“I would die before that would happen!” you snarled. Going back, you realized what you said and quickly deflated. “Well, I… I would be deeply devastated. God, Cynthia, from the time in school to now, I realized I love him. He’s my best friend, my pillar, my rock. He’s been there for me so many times I can’t even count it all.”

“And then it gets even worse knowing that he wants a family too. I don’t know if you know Cynthia, but I’m so lonely up in the big bright lights of New York. It’s gotten so bad that I’ve considered adopting and artificial insemination, even gone to an IVF clinic. But it won’t be the same, because I want a family and my belly round and my kids playing in the backyard, and it scares me that I can see it all with him.”

You sighed glumly. “I should’ve just confessed to him at prom.”

Cynthia smiled sympathetically. “Why don’t you just tell him what you told me?”

“She just did.”

You both started violently, and saw a large shadow blocking the doorway.

Johnny.

Your girl best friend snorted and quickly exited, patting Johnny’s back on her way out.

“Johnny! You scared the hell out of me!” you scolded, your hand on your rapidly rising chest.

A deep laugh rumbled from his chest as he took a seat next to you.

“Do you have something to tell me, baby?”

Heat rose to your cheeks. “Yes.”

“Go on, sweet cheeks. I won’t judge.”

However, his smug grin of a man knowing what’s about to come told you otherwise.

“Johnny!” you whined, flinging a throw pillow at him.

He ducked and snickered. “Fine, fine, I’ll stop.”

You settled down and hugged yourself. “This may not be as long as what you said in the coffee shop, but Johnny… I’ve loved you since freshman year. I’ve loved you in every year after that, even when we got separated for almost a decade. I didn’t realize what I was missing in my life was you, that my life wasn’t right without my best friend by my side. When I came back home I wasn’t expecting anything, but I think an unconscious part of me hoped to see you. Everything I said with Cynthia is true and I—stop staring at me!’’

“I can’t, you’re too beautiful,” he deadpanned, but you saw the mischievous sparkle in his eyes.

“Just kiss me you– you tub of lard!”

Johnny effortlessly pulled you into his lap to straddle, arms snaking around your hips as he placed his lips onto yours.

All the tension immediately evaporated from your body, as your limbs felt like liquid in his arms. His tongue swiped against the bottom of your lips, and you found a shred of will inside of you and playfully resisted. He squeezed your side, the sensitive bit right under your breasts, and your lips parted automatically as you moaned.

You felt shivers wherever he touched you, but felt it was unfair he was giving and not receiving. Your nails combed through his hair, found a section of hair, tugged sharply.

He growled into the kiss and you felt his hard erection through his dress pants, poking at your inner thigh.

“Still think I’m a tub of lard?” he whispered at the corner of your mouth, flexing his thick thighs underneath you and pulling you closer to his rock-hard chest.

“Mmph, no, Johnny.”

His smoky eyes looked into yours. “Also, don’t, Y/N.”

“...what?” you said confusedly as you calmed down. Did you do something wrong?

“Don’t try to have kids through those… those methods.”

“Do you mean IVF? Artificial insemination?”

A nod.

A frown pulled at your lips and you leaned back unconsciously. “Johnny, don’t you understand? I want my own children so badly I can barely think, okay? I never thought I’d want to have one a few years ago, but call it mother’s instincts— “

“When you have a child, it’s going to be mine. You’re gonna have one the proper way—by me throughly fucking a baby into your cunt,” he hissed through his teeth, right into your ear.

Goosebumps rose along your skin and you clenched his shoulders harder as he suckled kisses along the side of your neck. With some, he even added little presses of the tongue, making you clench your legs around his torso tighter.

“My baby likes dirty talk, doesn’t she? Just like she liked my little game of footsie,” he laughed, puffs of air blooming on your sensitive skin.

“Johnny,” you weakly reprimanded. You then noticed the hands that were clasped at your knees, rubbing the sweet spot underneath, and felt a moisture pool in your lacy thong.

“So, whaddya say? You say yes and I drive to my apartment and fuck you until your stomach swells with my children, or I do it regardless of where we are.”

You finally realize you are heavily making out in a side hallway where someone could see you easily. While the idea was tempting, if not a bit hot, you visualize your naked bodies writhing as he slides in and out of you—

“Yes, please, Johnny, please.”

The ride to his apartment was surprisingly comfortable. After hastily leaving the party, you two hopped into his butterfly sports car and roared down the avenue.

Don’t get it wrong, the sexual tension was there and as present as ever, but it wasn’t awkward in the slightest. You folded your legs up to the side and leaned towards him, his right hand softly stroking your knee while he zoomed down the streets of Chicago.

An elevator ride later, you were admiring the night Chicago skyline from Johnny’s bedroom window as he pressed kisses onto your shoulders.

“Youngho,” you sighed, leaning into him.

He hummed and nipped lightly at your neck.

“C’mon babe, undress for me.”

He sauntered back to the bed as you fumbled with the pins in your hair, shaking your hair loose of the tight up-do it had been in.

You looked back to see Johnny at the edge of the bed, his legs spread wide and leaning back with an arm.

“I haven’t done this in a long time, so I’m probably going to disappoint you,” you warned as you set down the pins with a clink.

“Indulge me. I’ve been fantasizing about this moment since Junior year,” he smirked lazily.

You cast a doubtful look towards him, but obliged nonetheless.

Starting with your jewelry, you unclasped your necklace, earrings, and watch and carefully set them on the counter. Your heels were kicked off to the side, and that was left was your dress. You breathed in deeply and released, methodically unbuttoning your dress until it fell with a soft whisper on the floor.

You looked through your curtain of hair to gauge his reaction and Johnny looked dazed, his eyes slightly glassy with his mouth slightly parted.

“Youngho?”

“C’mere.”

You was sure your gait resembled a newborn foal rather than some sultry vixen, but Johnny did not seem to care. He pulled you into his lap once again, but this time sideways.

His kisses trailed innocently at the top of your bra and you find yourself impatient. “I thought you were going to fuck my cunt?” you pronounced succinctly.

Johnny’s teeth bit harshly at the tops of your breasts, eliciting a harsh hiss from you. “Now you’ve done it, baby.”

You giggled as he practically threw you onto the bed, a male moan of appreciation slipping from his lips when he saw you splayed out for him. He ducked in to steal a kiss, supporting himself with his toned arms and you grasped the back of his head.

Johnny licked a long stripe on your clavicle as you gave a sharp tug on the knot of his tie. Removing the black tie, your fingers quickly got to work unbuttoning his shirt. He got on his knees to tug it off in one glorious motion, exposing his well-built chest to your hungry eyes.

It was surreal to see this Johnny kneeling before you, topless and licking his lips, and it was hard to find any trace of the boy in Naruto pajamas everywhere.

“Get up for me baby, scoot up a bit,” he urged.

As you obeyed, you took the chance to slip off your bra. Heat rose to stay permanently on your cheeks as you unclasped it and shrugged it off. You nipples quickly stiffened to the air and Johnny looked absolutely delighted.

Your eyes tracked him as he leaned forward and carefully weighed one in his large hands. His thumb brushed the soft underside of your breast and your shoulders quivered like a leaf in the wind.

“All for me to play with?” he said under his breath, looking entranced by the pliant flesh in his hands.

Getting between your legs, his tongue laved at the skin of your breasts, “accidental” licks getting you to squirm. Johnny’s plump lips continued their trail to your stomach and finally kissed the edges of your thong.

“May I?” he asked formally, raising his gleaming eyes to yours.

You nodded and his nimble fingers dragged your panties down, forcing you to brace your calves against his shoulders. He tossed them carefully to the vanity before lowering himself to eye level with your pussy.

“My pretty baby has such a pretty pussy, doesn’t she?” he cooed, thumbs rubbing the crux of your thighs.

Whining in agreement, you opened your legs wider for his perusal and looked away in embarrassment.

Johnny tsked and forced your chin to look at down at him. “Look at me.”

He wouldn’t let go until you leaned your head into his palm. He held eye contact with you as he slowly pressed his lips against your labia, your eyes widening and mewl escaping your lips.

You slammed your hand against your mouth as he began exploring, curling into the pillow and looking heavenward. His tongue peaked out and caressed the hood of your clit, beckoning for it to come. You muffled a scream when he used his tongue more liberally, reaching deeper and curling into the walls of your pussy. Your hips lifted off the mattress as you writhed underneath his torturous tongue until Johnny’s hands clamped down and forced your limbs onto the bed.

He was truly gifted at this, easily finding the spots that made you squirm. It felt like hours passed as he used his flexible tongue on you, playing you easily, and you slipped in and out of reality. But then he suckled, and you lost it.

Your limbs flailed as you wailed, suffocated with a blanket of pleasure. You had no idea what to do with your hands, switching places from tugging at your hair to squeezing your arms and even grasping Johnny’s thick locks until you settled for grasped the edges of the pillow next to you.

“No! Johnny, I- I can’t— oh my god—Agh!”

He shushed you quickly, murmuring “you can take it” against your thighs. You felt the pressure inside your stomach build, holding your breath as it inched closer and closer to that edge. Johnny finally pressed his thumb against your clit and you let out a full-throated scream, succumbing to the wave of pleasure dragging you under. Your knees knocked together painfully and you slid further down the mattress, pussy gushing out underneath you.

But no; he cruelly drew it out, kept on rubbing circles into your sensitive flesh until your eyes rolled to the back of your head and were unable to speak.

A few breathless moments passed and he broke the silence. “Not only are my oral skills great, but my oral skills are too” He wiggled his eyebrows at you and you rolled your eyes, before yelping as one of the aftershocks wracked your limbs.

Johnny merely chuckled before flipping you onto your stomach, face down on the mattress. Peeking over your shoulder, you glimpsed Johnny tugging off his pants and boxers until his hard erection stood proud, springing back and forth in the air. You gulped; it was a beautiful pink, veiny as hell, topped with a mushroom tip oozing out pre cum. Most importantly, it was huge —you had no idea he was packing that underneath his gym shorts— and looked to be the girth of your wrist.

“Johnny, i-is it gonna fit?” you stuttered nervously.

He smiled proudly at you, his hand stroking his cock up and down. “You have one tight pussy, love, but I’ve prepped you a lot and we’ll make it work. Don’t worry, okay?”

With that he forced your head against the sheets, taking away your vision completely. You felt extremely vulnerable with your butt raised high up in the air, but Johnny quickly grasped your hips and rubbed his cock against the seam of your pussy lips, lathering it in your cum.

“Tell me, baby, how much do you want this?”

“So much!” you murmured into the mattress.

He thrust his hips just a bit and his tip quickly slid in and out of you. “What was that?”

“Johnny, please! I want it so much!” you moaned into the mattress.

“Say it. I want to hear filth from your pretty lips,” he hissed, sounding impatient. He certainly felt impatient, his hands gripping your hips so hard they would surely bruise and his erection throbbing against your quim.

“I want you to fuck me raw with your huge cock! I want your cum leaking from my pussy—please, Johnny, please! Fuck me!” you cried.

“My dirty girl,” he purred. HIs lined his cock up with your entrance and slowly sank in, both of you groaning reactively. His dick stretched you and it toed the line between pain and pleasure but, nevertheless, you sunk your hips into his.

“Not— not too fast, Youngho. You’re really, really big,” you whimpered. He waited for a while before leisurely thrusting in and then picking up pace.

“Oh fuck, Youngho, just like that,” you moaned. He also let out strangled groans of pleasure, echoing in his large bedroom. Crude slaps of flesh against flesh reverberated in your ears, puncturing the sound of blood roaring in your veins. His testes smacked periodically against your clit and you could not stop the indecent noises coming from your mouth.

“Good?” he grunted, his sweaty black bangs sticking to his forehead as he thrust. You could imagine his chest gleaming with sweat from the city lights and the image made you wetter, if possible.

A particularly sharp thrust jolted your hips, and kept his hips flush against yours with his cock in you. “I said, good?”

“Fuck, I like it—it’s so good— and, oh my gosh, I love it, I love it, I love it—” you rambled incoherently.

He snorted and pulled out.

“Youngho, don’t stop—”

“Get on your back, baby. Let me see you.”

With great effort, you rolled over and your vision of him did no justice. He looked ethereal, gleaming in his sweat. Shadows played across his body as his muscles flexed and contracted and you were breathless.

“I’m gonna fuck a baby into you, Y/N.”

A terrible mixture of excitement and arousal arose from you. The idea of him fucking you full of his come and looking down at your round belly was almost too much. You whined up at him, wiggling your hips.

He tsked in disapproval. “Nuh-uh, legs up, sweetheart. Missionary is the best way to get you pregnant.”

You truly were worried that your arousal would leak down your legs as you lifted your limbs up to his broad shoulders. He firmly grasped the sides of your stomach and pulled you closer to him.

As you were watching him with a sort of breathless excitement, he was glued to the sight of his cock sinking into your pussy, bewitched by the way your folds parted for his cock like the blooming of a flower. Johnny quickly put a hand over the lower half of your stomach, thrusting robustly upwards and while you screamed, he wore a shit-eating grin on his face.

“W-What is it, Johnny?” you breathed harshly.

“Fuck, that’s hot,” he groaned loudly as he thrust once more. “F-feel this, baby.”

He put your hand where his had previously been and thrust upwards. Your lips parted in wonder when you felt a small bulge form underneath your hand. His cock was that big?

“Holy—Agh!— shit,” you pant.

His eyes flared with lust as he rammed his cock in again, just to see that little bump appear, and did so again and again until you heard his fancy bed frame start to creak.

This position was by far the best, even if it was good ol’ missionary. The slight curve to his cock caused the head to press deliciously into the walls of your pussy, and you felt him much closer than ever before.

You could spot his thick, muscled thighs ripple with the effort he was putting into fucking you and gripped the sheets much harder. Noises of content, ‘yes’s’ and ‘fuck’s!’ spat out with increasing frequency, permeated the air thick of the scent of sex and sweat.

He slipped your legs off his shoulders and around his waist before supporting himself above you with his veiny forearms. “Homestretch, baby.”

You were cut off from snorting as you screamed, his cock ramming into your hips. In-and-out, the delicious stretch repeating over and over again until you felt a familiar haze spread over you.

“I’m going to stuff you full of cum, Y/N. I’m going to knock you up with the baby you so desperately want, right? A baby with my eyes and your hair?” he growled.

You heart skipped a beat. How did he know what you saw?

“Mmm! Yes, yes! I’ll be barefoot and pregnant for you!”

“Your pussy takes my cock so well, baby, so well, you don’t even know. Fuck, I’m just imagining my cum on your pretty pink pussy lips.”

He went in so deep, until you felt his balls pressing into your ass and the tip of his cock pressing into your womb.You felt so filled, physically and emotionally, as you basked in the man thrusting into you like a piston.

The same in-and-out of reality experience occurred and you found your eyes rolling back into your head, not registering anything else. You felt like you were sinking in molasses, pleasure and bliss cocooning you tight and secure. The familiar wave was starting to build up again.

You came back to your senses as his hand drifted in between you and hovered near the crux of your thighs. In concurrence with his solid thrusting, his thumb began harshly rubbing circles into your clit, zings of delight firing over your whole body.

“Cum, baby, I know you want to. I can feel your tight pussy fluttering all over my cock,” he grunted.

His cock hit your cervix and your hands made vicious marks against his back as you wailed loudly in pleasure. The wave had crested but Johnny had not stopped whatsoever. Your best friend was still in desperate search for his peak that he thrust even faster, overstimulating you so much you inadvertently thrashed to get away from him.

A choked cry left your lips as he ruthlessly pulled your hips back and inserted his cock again, this time slamming into you with a force caused loud creaks from the bed frame.

“You don’t get to stop until there’s a goddamn baby in you. God, I’m going to cum so fucking hard.”

“Fill me up, Johnny.” you goaded. “Make me yours forever. Put a fucking baby in my belly.”

“Shit!” he hissed out.

You felt the spurts of his come from the tip and you wrapped yourself around him tighter as he let out a strangled moan, burying his face into the crook of your neck. Biting the spot between your collarbone and your neck, Johnny added to the collection of red and purple you were sure was already there. He gave little staccato thrusts as you felt more and more cum fill up your pussy, until an obscene squelching sound was heard as he was moving in and out of you.

He panted for a few moments, kneeling back onto the bed and spreading your legs wide. You attempted to cover your seeping pussy but he brushed your hand aside and focused on the small stream of white leaking.

“You look gorgeous like that, Y/N. Tired and sated with my cum leaking out of you.”

You scooped up some of the excess and brought it to your lips, sucking his salty cum off of your fingers one by one. You raised an eyebrow.

He groaned and wrapped you into his side, as if asking the universe “What am I going to do with her?”. You smiled snuggled into his side, happy that you finally weren’t alone anymore.

“Johnny... I’m ovulating today. There is a huge, huge chance of me getting pregnant. D-do you really, really want to this baby? Do you really… do you really want a family? With me?” you whispered.

“Let me show you something.” He climbed out of bed, naked as the day he was born, and returned to the room a navy suit jacket when you saw him at the cafe. He pulled out one of the heart-shaped pink Post-It notes you gave to him ironically during sophomore year and handed it to you.

On the paper, it had a date and some scribbled words.

11/4/2XXX

I’m going to marry Y/N.

“I wrote that in 10th grade,” he murmured beside you. “I’m more confident in myself that I can owe up to those words. I feel like… like I’m worthy of you now.”

“Oh, Youngho,” you sighed, thumb stroking his plump lips. You kissed them and smiled up at the man who was your best friend, your lover—the man you wanted to marry and have kids with. How could you ever repay him for making you feel whole again? “I accept the you from then and the you now. Whatever you are and wherever you are, you are always worthy of love.”

Please don’t forget to like, comment and reblog! I would also really appreciate that if you liked my work enough, that you would consider supporting me by buying me a kofi at ko-fi.com/caiuscassiuss. Thank you so much for reading!

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lovabletomholland · 5 years ago

Text

False Pretenses - Chapter 3

Fake Dating Series (College AU)

Tom Holland Imagine (Tom Holland x Reader)

Word Count: 1,675

Warnings: Language, Angst, Fluff

Summary: You see Tom shirtless and that has you reacting to him in a weird way. You meet Tom’s best friend Harrison and go ice skating for the first time, which is where a girl flirting with Tom puts your stomach in knots.

A/N: Did I upload this a day after I uploaded Chapter 2? Yes, yes I did. Alright here is Chapter 3. I really hope you guys enjoy it! It’s been fun writing this. All chapters are finished and I can’t wait for you guys to read!

Previously: Chapter 2

You wake up from the sound of the shower running and look over to Tom's side of the bed. He isn't there, however Tessa is stretched out on his side. You rub the sleep out of your eyes before reaching over and scratching behind her ear. Soon you hear the water turn off and a few minutes later Tom walks out wearing sweat pants, no shirt. Your eyes scan from his biceps to the abs on his stomach and you feel your heart rate speed up, you look away quickly feeling your cheeks heat up. "Good morning." You hear him say. "Morning," you mumble not trusting your voice right now. You feel the bed dip as he sits down. You chance a look at him and are relieved to find he put a shirt on. He's rubbing a towel through his hair with one hand and petting Tessa with the other. You both jump as the bedroom door swings open and you instinctively pull the cover up over your chest even though you're wearing a tank top.

"Tom," Harrison grins, you know it's him from pictures you've seen. Harrison walks in as Tom stands up. Tom takes two long steps before they are hugging, standing in the middle of the bedroom floor. "I've missed you man." That's when Harrison spots you in the bed and his eyes widen, "Oh shit, I forgot she was here too. Hope I didn't interrupt anything." He smiles brightly at Tom and then looks back at you. "You must be Y/N. Tom talks about you a lot. I can't believe he finally got up the balls to-" he stops abruptly and glares at Tom. "Ow, asshole!"

"Can I talk to you in the other room for a second?" Tom asks but he doesn’t give Harrison a chance to answer before he's dragging him out the door and you notice Harrison limping a little, which he wasn't doing when he first walked in.

"Wait, I wanted to introduce myself to Y/N." You hear Harrison complain before the door slams behind them. Weird. You sit up and run your fingers through your hair trying to get some of the tangles out. You wasn't expecting to meet anyone this early, you probably look a mess.

A few minutes later Tom and Harrison come back in closing the door behind them. Harrison sits down on the bed next to you. "Hey. It's nice to officially meet you." He pulls you into a tight embrace.

You giggle and hug him back, "Nice to meet you too." You pull back and give him a smile.

"So, this loser talked you into being his fake girlfriend, huh?" He grins at Tom and then looks back at you. "How unfortunate for you."

You laugh, "It's okay. At least I'm not stuck in the apartment alone for the holidays," you admit.

"I would have invited you either way," Tom tells you sitting on the bed. "Even if you didn't agree, I would have just told my mum the truth."

"I know." You crawl over to Tom and kiss his cheek before snuggling into his side. "I don't mind helping you out. It's what friends are for, right?" You look over at Harrison, "And Tom isn't a loser." You scowl at Harrison playfully.

"Maybe not to you but he'll always be a loser to me," Harrison tells you with a grin. "Let's go eat breakfast, I'm starving."

Breakfast at the Holland house is chaotic to say the least and you love it. You didn't really expect anything less considering there are currently five boys in the house. You wonder how Mrs. Holland does it all the time. Tom and his brothers bicker and tease each other which just makes for a very lively table. They accept you wholeheartedly into their little group, and that puts a smile on your face.

***

Later in the evening you find yourself at the ice skating rink. You tried to get out of it but the boys just wouldn't let that happen. Tom takes your hand, lacing your fingers together as he pulls you out onto the ice, "I got you." He gives you an encouraging smile.

You are very shaky and you have fallen several times as Tom's brothers and Harrison skate around the two of you like pros. You know Tom is really good too, you're just holding him back. He says he doesn't mind and you can tell he means it, but you still feel bad. This should be his time to hang out with his family and best friend that he hasn't seen in a few months. "Seriously Tom, I can just watch, go spend time with your brothers and Haz."

You go to pull your hand out of his but he tightens his grip, "You'll get the hang of it. You're already getting better."

You sigh and try to keep up without falling again and Harrison comes and takes your other hand, which helps a lot. After a little while you're really getting it and it's been a while since you've fallen so Haz let's go but Tom keeps a hold of your hand. He's finally able to keep up with his brothers and talk to them and Haz. That's of course when you fall down hard, taking Tom with you this time. He lands on top of you. Your limbs tangled with his.

"Oh my God, are you okay?!" Tom moves to the side and looks at you in concern but you're laughing and soon he's laughing with you. Once the two of you calm down, Harry and Harrison help you get back to your feet.

"That was quite a spill, are you sure you're okay?" Sam asks, concern on his face. They all look concerned. You thought for sure they'd make fun of you for not knowing how to skate but they haven't, they've just been really supportive. If it was Tom who kept falling you're pretty sure they'd make fun of him though.

"Yeah, I'm good. I need a break though. I'm going to get some hot chocolate." You grab the side of the rink for support and you notice Tom start to follow you. "No, I can make it on my own. Have fun. I'm fine," you tell him with a smile but he continues to follow you. "Seriously Tom, I'm good." You say it more forcefully this time. He frowns at you at first but then he skates over towards his brothers and Harrison.

You make your way out of the rink and sit down pulling the skates off. You switch them out for your boots before you grab a hot chocolate. The cup warms your cold hands. You sit on a bench near the rink so you can watch the boys. They're laughing, goofing around and showing off by doing spins and flips, especially Tom. He's better than all of them. When the four of them are just standing in the middle of the rink talking, a girl walks up to Tom and starts talking to him, she flips her long blond hair and runs her hand down his arm. You get this odd feeling in the pit of your stomach and you’re happy when the feeling starts to ease because Tom pulls his arm away and you see his eyes start to scan the area. He finally spots you and skates away from the girl, leaving her in the middle of a sentence. You watch as he heads to the exit nearest you.

You're certain the only reason why he did that is because Harrison is the only one who knows the two of you aren't really dating. Tom is usually a big flirt or at least he used to be up until a couple months ago. You're not sure why that changed, you just put it off to the fact that he was really focused on school.

He plops down next to you and steals your hot chocolate, taking a big sip, "Oh, that's really good."

You giggle, "I know, seeing as it's mine." You look down at your hands. "So, she was really pretty," You say nonchalantly.

"Who?" He asks taking another sip of your hot chocolate.

You nod your head to the blond girl who is now staring at you, anger and jealousy in her eyes. If looks could kill, you'd be dead for sure.

Tom follows your gaze, "Oh, yeah I guess." He shrugs and gives you the hot chocolate back. He looks down and sees that the skates are gone and your boots are back on your feet, "I take it you're not going back out there?"

You shake your head, "Nope. I'm okay being benched," you joke. "I'm fine watching, you're really good."

"Thanks." He rubs your knee before he stands up, he bends over and kisses your forehead, "We won’t stay much longer." You feel your cheeks heat up again and your stomach flutters from his touch. Gosh, you wish it would stop doing that.

You're actually there for another hour but you didn't get bored, the boys took turns sitting with you. Harry first, then Sam, and last Haz. On your way back to the house Tom stops to pick up his little brother, Paddy, from a friend's house and then all of you are back in the warmth of his mom’s house. You actually had a lot of fun today, even if you kept falling and probably have a few bruises on your legs, butt, and hips.

***

The next few days are similar, only you guys do different activities and at least these didn't end with you falling every few seconds. You crawl into bed the night before Christmas Eve with Tom. Tessa was actually sleeping in Harry’s room tonight which Tom made a fuss about at first. You feel happy and content, that is until you open Facebook and see a picture James posted. He's kissing another girl in it, and not on the cheek like you've been doing with Tom.

Chapter 4

Taglist (let me know if you want to be added:)

@averyfosterthoughts, @artsyle, @photoshopart15, @peterisparker, @rebekkah4766, @jackiehollanderr, @myr5heart, @143amberrose, @mendes-fan

If your name has a line through it, it means I can’t tag you.

#tom holland #tom holland imagine #tom holland fanfiction #tom holland x reader #tom holland x you #tom holland x y/n #tom holland fanfic #peter parker #peter parker imagine #peter parker fanfiction

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delirious-comfort · 4 years ago

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I promise you I wouldn't go 0 to 100 with you with those kinds of questions. Weirder than that? I'm starting to grow concerned for you if you draw in such.. colorful personalities like that.

You sound like a terrible influence, and I fully support that (because, same).

Oh gosh. I'm sorry you were bullied. Kids/teenagers can be brutal. I always thank my lucky stars that I went to schools with nicer kids. I was later told no one would ever mess with me because I looked like I knew how to fight - which I attribute to my rbf. I obviously don't know you all that well personally, but you seem perfectly delightful to me so it's hard to picture you being a handful.

Howard the Duck! I think I hated it as a kid. My dad really wasn't careful with the movies he rented for me. My sister didn't tell me it was awful, so I never added The Meg to my list.

Hmm, can't relate. I'm not that into muscles, so The Rock isn't my cup of tea, and I do fancy the gents as well (though not as much as the ladies, despite what my dating history would suggest). Watch a movie that prominently features a pretty lady (that kicks ass), and the identity crisis may be averted for a while. Sorry to hear that. Is there a way to put some happiness back in you?

Music. Oh jeez. I could rattle off what I like all day, but I'll refrain. Some of my favorites: St. Vincent, Sevdaliza, Allie X, Lisa Hannigan, Beirut, James Blake, Chet Faker, Leon Bridges. And so on.. What about you?

A little. I'm very over 2020. I shan't miss it, but I'm not an optimist by nature, so I'm not all that thrilled about 2021. Are you?

I would need more details. 1. Would I have books/music? 2. Do I get to leave the cottage? 3. Do I have to bring someone with me? And if so, how small is this cottage? If the answer is yes and tiny, I'm leaning towards no. 150k isn't enough to put myself through that. I need a lot of alone time - though exceptions do apply from time to time. I don't currently like anyone enough to share a space with them for a whole year. Same question goes to you, though. Would you do that for $150,000?

Ooh, we’ve entered scrolling era on the computer! I now need to scroll to see what you wrote! Exciting things. *claps*. Back when I wrote Shadow Haven I used to get a lot of anons because they thought I was super into answering questions like, “How often do you masturbate / Do you masturbate to fic / What is your favorite thing to masturbate to / You made me come twice with this chapter!” Okay, that last one isn’t a question, but definitely have been told that a few times. Although my all time favorite comment I’ve ever gotten was from this young girl who said she almost reached an orgasm for the first time but the fic wasn’t long enough xD Hm, bullying is a thread throughout my life. But yeah some kids can be absolutely brutal. Adults too. But that’s a sob story for another time lol. RBF is one of my favorite things. I’m glad you didn’t experience that in school, though. I don’t know if I’m all that delightful. I think I’m nice? That’s something lol. I’ve never seen Howard the Duck to be honest. The only Duck I know is Donald. Oh want to hear a funny story about a duck? One day when I was young, back in the olden days, in the 90′s... My brother came home with a duck once. He said it was injured and he put it in the shed. I do think it really was injured but I have no idea what was wrong with it. We had this iron tub in the shed that we put water in and within a couple of days he had shat all over the shed. But we kept him for quite some time I think, although I was young so it was probably like two weeks that felt like two years. Anyway, the duck got better. We named him Donald and then we put him back out in the pond near our house where he came from. You’d think that’s where the story ends. But tis not. So one day not too long after we released him back into the pond... They started to drain the pond because, well actually I don’t know why. My brother said it was because there was one of those electric eels that they needed to get out of the pond, which made us all scared to swim in and I’m just now realizing he probably lied about that. Dick. Anyway, big digging machine came, and I went to walk the dog and on top of the claw of the digging machine was a dead duck. Our dead duck. Which I could see from far away. Uhm. Okay so maybe it wasn’t our duck. But as a child I was fucking convinced it was. I sobbed and told my mom he had been killed. And she was just like, “Well, he had a good time with us, didn’t he!’ I was and perhaps am at times a bit... how shall I put this gently... over dramatic. Sensitive. A drama queen. I freely admit it. I don’t actually know a lot of those artists but I’m listening to Sevdaliza’s Human and uhm. I bet it’s a on a lot of x-rated playlists. Yeah I’m with you on the 2020/2021 feeling. I don’t even want to say it can only get better from here on out because was I ever wrong before! This song is a bop. I like it. Goes straight on my current obsessions playlist. Okay, cottage details. I asked because it’s always one of those Facebook posts I see, but here’s some details. Fuck. Details. Okay. I got this. Yes, you can bring books. And movies. And there’s a TV and a radio and a computer. Just no internet. I don’t know why. But there’s not. FB rules. Not mine. I’d need internet. I’m suddenly getting a one-shot through into my thick skull. As if I am gonna write it. Ha. You can leave the cottage whenever you want. You’re free to roam. Not a prisoner. Hm, it’s not so small that you can’t live comfortable in it, lets say at least two bedrooms, although my inner muse wants to scream, “And there was only one bed,” so hard. So original. I suppose you don’t have to bring someone. I think I could do it but I don’t know how beneficial it would be to my mental health. I already live alone, I have a tiny studio, and I hardly ever leave due to my health issues I’ve had this year. Although, on Fridays I get to go outside with my physical therapist and I am very much looking forward to that. Internet is very much my whole world right now. So I think if it would be taken away I would either thrive, or nose dive. If I had to share the space with someone, I don’t know if I could do it. Depends on who it is, I suppose. Like, I love my mom to death, but her and I would kill each other within a week probably. God this is a lot of blabbing. Oop. Also I just saw the terrible influence thing. Yes, yes I am. I used to make my niece do tiktok’s to prank my brother but one day he got super mad. But too be fair I did have her pretend she stapled her fingers together with a staple gun. So you know. I had it coming. You’d think all this typing would warm up my fingers, but my fingers are ice cold. Okay, here’s a question. What is your dream holiday destination?

#Anonymous

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hobiwonder · 6 years ago

Text

kiss my soul | (m)

Pairing: Namjoon x Reader

Genre: Smut. Incubus!Namjoon.

Warnings: Unprotected sex, exhibitionism, dirty talk, marijuana use, first time, unrealistically good first time bc it’s namjoon and he’s a demon lol

Summary: Namjoon needed a fix. He needed it fast before the consequences were fatal.

a/n: it’s here finally. i hope you guys semi enjoy this! let me know what you think and don’t forget to check out other stories in this collab :) this was a last minute story lol rbfgbieeifhwkf. I incorporated the first time request in this story as well.

“You sure you don’t want to come? I heard everyone is going.” Soobin is wiggling her eyebrows at you while she rummages through the same pile of clothes for the tenth time, probably thinking she’ll come across something new.

“That’s what you say every time.” You try not to be rude and roll your eyes at her but it was true. This wasn’t the first party she had said the exact same thing about. Finally grabbing the little black dress she’d been eyeing, she’s plopping on the bed next to you, almost knocking over your laptop.

“Yeah but, this time everyone will be there. Like, the seniors, football team and,” she hesitates slightly but not out of fear or uncertainty, “Kim Namjoon.” She whispers his name like it was a secret that only a few people knew in murmurs and gossip. Maybe that’s why it sends a slight shiver down your spine hearing the campus dealer’s name again. He was definitely not the crowd you mingled with. Or knew how to mingle with.

“So? It’s not like I know him…” Of course, Soobin won’t leave it alone, only sighing in exasperation when she didn’t really need to be this dramatic.

“And you never will if you stay cooped up in this room! Come on! Just go this once? You need some friends.”

“I have friends.” Your mumble is barely tangible but she has probably memorised the shape of your lips whenever they form these exact same words.

“Other than me.” Her glare can be felt on your back – that you’ve turned as she changes. She doesn’t mind you watching but you definitely did. You wouldn’t want anyone seeing you naked while you change so god knows how she can handle it.

“You know that I don’t really have problems with just one friend, right? This is why-”

“-Why you started mid-year so you wouldn’t have to be forced into making friends yeah yeah.” She’s waving her hand in dismissal but you only send her a sweet smile.

“See? You get it. Now go and have fun drinking, dancing and… whatever it is that you do there.” Soobin just scoffs at your nonchalant shrug, curling her hair while she watches you in the mirror.

After about 3 minutes, you’re starting to get jittery at her stares. “Okay, what?”

“If you go to one party with me I won’t annoy you anymore.” Exhaling, you’re actually kind of considering this. Maybe you can get her off your back about being ‘out there’ if you just show up to one.

“Fine. I’ll go but-” her face is lighting up like a hundred watt bulb until you put up your finger to slow down whatever plan is running through her head. “Not today. The next one.”

She’s shrieking as she lunges for you, hugging you tightly like you told her she won a million dollars or something. “I can accept that. Eee! I’m so excited.”

Her excitement is a little contagious and for some reason you feel yourself looking forward to actually going. Maybe it won’t be that bad after all. As long as you had her to guide you through. This was not your forte and you’d never been to any sort of party other than prom.

“Promise you won’t ditch me? I have never been to a party before.” You figured there was no way of hiding that fact anymore and judging by her face she probably expected it too.

“I won’t! But I honestly can’t understand how you’ve been so oblivious to the social side of college or even high school. Did you guys not have parties?”

“Well, my town was pretty small. And my mom is very,” you try to find the right words that don’t sound as harsh as they did in your mind, “conservative. So I didn’t really do much back home.” Shrugging your shoulders, you feel the wave of nostalgia crash when you remember the simpler life back home a couple hours from your university and even a slight disdain for your mother for keeping you so sheltered that just even the thought of attending a gathering of people outside of class gave you anxiety.

“Hey, it’s okay. This is college and you’re far away from your mom. So, time to do everything that you were told not to.” Her eyebrows are wiggling again and you can’t help but laugh at her goofy face.

“No thanks. I’ll stick to trying to have my first drink. Or not. I hope I don’t die.” Could one die from having a drink of alcohol in their 20s? Was that too late?

“Oh stop. You’ll be fine. You have to try everything once okay?” you opt for paying attention to the laptop screen as you take notes from the lecture that you missed.

“Y/N!”

“Fine! Gosh. As long as they aren’t narcotics, I’ll… give it a try? Wait not. I’m scared.” You lean back, making a horrified face when the image of you passed out on some fraternity’s couch floods your brain. Okay maybe you have a completely wrong perception of college culture.

“No need to.” Soobin is getting up to finish up her makeup as she continues. “As long as you get the stuff from Namjoon, you’ll be on cloud 9 babe. He’s the real deal.”

In the few months you’ve been here, you’ve heard the mysterious name more than a dozen times and all those times, it had been in whispers. You had yet to see him up close because the glimpse you got the other week while you were coming back to your dorm from the pharmacy was too good to be true. All his angles had been sharp as glass, lips plump and made you bite yours, body proportions that you’d only seen on super models in the many magazines Soobin read. He was so beautiful you’d stopped in your tracks until your eyes had locked with his own, catching you staring at him like a fool. You remembered the way all the blood in your body had rushed to your cheeks and yet, all this movement of your blood in your body didn’t translate in to your limbs moving with it. You’d been frozen on spot, looking back in to his dark eyes until Soobin had clutched your arm, shrieking in your ear about Kim Namjoon.

Maybe you saw him at night so he looked better than he actually was? You’re hoping that’s true because you’re not sure you can really enjoy a party he’s at since your body seems to grow restless around his presence. It’s like it knows that Namjoon is in close proximity. He makes your blood sing and you want nothing more than to get closer.

“Who exactly.. is he?” Soobin is taking in a sharp breath as if just remembering him brings her great gratification.

“He’s a senior in Music. Resident dealer that has a seemingly endless supply of weed. But he adds something to it. No one knows what it is but it’s damn good. Plus, he only sleeps with you if it’s your first time. In fact, I lost my virginity to him. It was almost…. Supernatural.”

Her sigh of contentment is very telling when she doesn’t say anything else for the next few minutes, seeming to be in deep thought remembering the said moment. Your own cheeks are going red at the mention of losing virginity because you certainly haven’t lost yours yet.

“What if it’s harmful? Do people not care?” She shrugs again.

“Nothing has happening to anyone yet. His older brother dealt the same thing. Plus, it’s not like he’s forcing you to take it. Unsurprisingly, his clientele is mostly females since most of the guys hate that he pulls.”

“That sounds very cliché. Hot guy every other guy hates and every girl loves? There must be a catch.”

“There is. I just told you about it. He only sleeps with virgins.” She’s pouting at you like it’s such a great inconvenience for her that she isn’t.

“But why?” You couldn’t seem to wrap your head around the fact that a very experienced man would want to sleep with very inexperienced women. You thought it was the exact opposite?

“I don’t know.” She seems to be thinking over that fact for the first time too. Like she hadn’t questioned it before. “I don’t know of anyone who’s slept with him twice. Oh other than Hyuna. Though she’s hot on another level so I can see why he would say yes to her. I’d totally bang her.”

Your cheeks are screaming once again at the mention of the – yes, insanely attractive – female. She seemed to hang around that crowd too since you never really saw her outside of that group. Only glimpses.

“Are they dating by any chance?” While you talk to Soobin, you open another tab on your laptop, typing the two names that you both were having a conversation about and bookmark the facebook page that shows up. You’ll have to look these people up if you were going to come face to face with them. Soobin’s snort however, snaps you out of your little bookmark spree and you close the lid shut when she walks to the side where her heels and other shoes were lined up.

“No way. She is just like Namjoon. She sleeps with guys once and then moves on. Maybe Namjoon is just one of those guys who’s all in to purity and shit.”

“Weird.” You can’t help but mumble as you think over her response.

“Weird but hot. If only he’d let me in his pants again.” She’s groaning as you roll your eyes once more at her. She always sounds like she’s in chronic pain when she isn’t getting laid.

“It can’t have been that much better than other guys you’ve… been with.” You wince at your hesitation. Hoping to not offend her but she just giggles in response.

“Don’t worry. I’m not going to be mad at you for little things like this y/n. And to answer your question,” she falls back down on the bed once again as she stairs up at the ceiling wistfully, “Yes. It was. It’s like I don’t remember anything at all but at the same time I do. It was almost… magical. I know it sounds cheesy but I can just remember that it was the best night of my life.”

You’re so pulled in to her story, leaning your head on your palms as you listen to her recall her first time. Would it be like this for you too? Would he be that great?

“Is someone thinking about doing the dirty with Namjoon?” She’s whistling at your reddening face and you don’t even try to deny the fact that you’d been fantasising about it.

“W-When you say it like that.” You don’t meet her inquisitive eyes as she just laughs, turning her gaze back to the ceiling and pulling you with her so you both stared up like the white paint held some sort of profound meaning and answers to life.

“I felt like I was high but I don’t remember taking anything before. Maybe I did? I don’t know. I just felt like I was floating and it didn’t hurt at all. Felt really sore the next day though.” She turned to face you, making a face in distaste.

“My head hurt like a bitch and I had to like, take a few days and rest. But that was probably my hangover.” Soobin just shrugs and gets up, putting on her high heels and grabbing her purse.

“My point is, you’re lucky you have the option to have your first time with someone like Namjoon.”

“I-I never said I wanted to.” You’re getting up from the bed to lock the door once she’s gone. Hoping that you’ve made a face strict enough that she believes you even just a little bit that you didn’t want anything physical to do with Kim Namjoon. He sounded like…. Too much for you.

“You say that now. We’ll see! Bye, don’t wait up!” She’s giggling as she runs off with the other girls standing and waiting in the hallway.

“I won’t.” You’re just mumbling to yourself as you close the door, heart slightly pounding and you’d only been just talking about the mysterious Namjoon.

Not long after, you’re climbing back on to your bed, bringing the bookmarked tabs back up as Namjoon’s sultry eyes appear once again. Scrolling through his profile, the information there is limited. You don’t find much more than just a picture that had been uploaded 4 years ago. Had he not changed it? Maybe he wanted it that way because of the ‘business’ he was involved in. There are a couple of other pictures taken in the same year with Hyuna and a few other men that you recognize from campus as well. You’d only seen them around once or twice but never at day time either. It was obvious they were a clique.

In each photo, Namjoon seemed to look intensely at the camera. You’re mesmerized momentarily, just by a picture. Watching his droopy eyes looking right back at you. What was is about his eyes that reeled you in so? You never wanted to look away and yet you wanted to scroll away at the same time. In fact, all the men in the picture gazed intensely at the camera lens as if they knew someone was looking back at them. Just imagining that face above yours sends a shiver down your spine and quickly, you’re exiting out of the tab. Too overwhelmed. If you were going to feel this overwhelmed from just one picture that maybe you couldn’t do this.

You were probably over thinking it. Maybe you won’t even come in to contact with him at all. And who said he’ll even take a liking to you? You were pretty average in all aspects. Yeah maybe a little above average in your studies but that was it, really. So it probably won’t be the way you were thinking. Like he was going to pick you, specifically, out of the crowd and ask to take away your virginity.

“Namjoon.” Unknowingly, you’d been whispering his name as thoughts of him ran through your head. Why was there such little information about him online when so many people seem to know him? You didn’t understand.

You phone pings indicating you’d received a message. Bringing up your phone, you see a photo message from Soobin. Clicking on the image to load, her smiling face pops up with a couple of other girls from your area standing beside her, smiling up at the camera. Smiling, you’re just about to lock your phone again until a certain pair of eyes have you doing a double take at the photo.

Clicking the image and dragging two of your fingers apart to enlarge the photo, you can clearly see Namjoon’s familiarly intense eyes peering in to yours. Your blood runs cold just for a moment as you blink a few times to make sure he was actually looking at the camera or just somewhere beside. But even blinking a few times doesn’t make the intense pair of eyes go away or look somewhere else. He was definitely looking in to the camera.

Your eyebrows furrow at how eerie it was that you’d been just looking at his photos and now.. he was looking in to the camera like he knew the photo was being sent to you. Like he knew… your phone is suddenly dropping from your clutch as you bring your hands up to your mouth, eyes wide. Wait could he know? What if there was some sort of software that told you who was looking at your page? Was your webcam hacked? You shake your head at that thought when you see the band aid on the camera lens. No way anyone was able to see anything. You were just being paranoid. This is why you didn’t want to go outside and socialise.

“This is exactly why you have to socialise!” Soobin is shrieking at you – while you try not to bleed out of your ears - as she curls your hair. It was a week after you’d agreed to attend one of the many parties held at the frats every Saturday. Soobin had come home last week and hadn’t been able to shut up since about how boring the party was since Namjoon and his crew of attractive men were apparently not there despite you having seen him in the background of the picture you saw. When you’d tried to show her what you meant, she’d still hadn’t been able to see his sparkly eyes in the background. Much of your time had been spent since then to try and convince her that Namjoon was definitely there in the photo.

“I don’t see him y/n. You just want him so badly that you’re seeing things.” She’s singing mockingly – playfully – as she curls the last few bits of your long hair. You were wearing the shortest dress you owned – it reached just above the knees – and unsurprisingly, it was white. The tops were lace that framed your décolletage modestly. The only ‘immodest’ thing you could see that your mother would definitely scold you about were the spaghetti straps. It was the closest thing you owned to a dress that didn’t look like you were going to church. Which you still hadn’t gone to ever since you’d arrived in the city. You really needed to go to the nearest community church and introduce yourself. Your mother’s incessant voice was scolding and shaming you in the back of your head the longer you stalled. Tomorrow you definitely will.

“I’m not! I don’t know what’s wrong with your eyes. He is in the back it’s so obvious.” You can’t help the pout when you’re trying to convince her for the thousandth time that you saw him looking straight in the camera but somehow she can’t see him. You hadn’t even told her about the dreams you’d had of him every night this past week. Watching yourself walk a dimly lit pathway in a strange building until you reached the room he sat in. Every dream ended as soon as you opened the door, never being able to quite have good look apart from a glimpse of Namjoon’s face.

“Y/n, he wasn’t even there so I don’t know how you saw him let alone him looking straight in to the camera. Don’t you think I would’ve noticed him when I was sending it to you?”

You shrug, wincing when she pulls on a tendril a little too hard. “Maybe you were too drunk.”

“I wish. It was pretty tame and boring last week. So no. I wasn’t drunk.” She’s glaring at you through the mirror while you just avert your gaze. Maybe you were confused… hm.

“Okay! All done. Now, let me quickly change and we’ll go.” She’s scurrying off to change in the bathroom for once and you just look at the final result in the mirror.

You looked pretty but still you. You who was very unaware and ignorant to the life you were about to go experience. Maybe you should adjust the way you stand so you don’t look completely like a fish out of water?

“What are you doing weirdo.” Soobin is chuckling behind you while you quickly straighten up.

“I don’t know. I look so… me. I feel like ‘I’m a virgin’ is written across my forehead or something.”

“You’re fine babe.” She’s squeezing your shoulder from behind as she smiles kindly at you. She was gorgeous. She looked gorgeous in no matter what she wore so maybe it was easy for her to say. But nonetheless, your nerves ease enough for you to grab your purse as you both lock hands and walk out.

When you both arrive, the heavy bass can be almost felt from outside the building. Crowds of people loitering the front porch and your nerves are already kicking in.

“Soo…,” you sound just as unsure as you felt. There were bodies everywhere and you could feel your anxiety about to kick in. You were so out of depth.

“Hey, it’s okay. It’ll be fun!” She’s smiling widely at you as she grabs your hand, leading you inside ahead of you. Both of you have to slide between bodies of strangers who are dancing, drinking or doing both. While Soobin seems to slither away with ease as she smiles charmingly, saying hi to some and ‘excuse me’ to some, you feel the exact opposite. You’re sure your face looks horrified to some degree and the curious looks from other people just confirms your suspicion.

“Gosh, it’s packed today!” She’s looking around happily, having to scream a little so you can hear her.

“Y-Yeah.” Your nervous laugh goes unnoticed in the loud booming noise of the sultry music.

“I’m glad you came with me this week and not last.” She’s laughing as she flips her hair, watching the two boys who were looking her way ever since you two stopped near anther hallway.

“Yeah I’m not so sure..” looking around, you don’t see a single familiar face. You can definitely feel people looking at you and probably how out of place you looked but that could also be your brain making you overthink.

“Don’t flake out on me now. I’ll go get us a drink!” Before you can stop her she’s disappeared off to probably where the drinks table was. You remember seeing it when you entered but there were too many people here to figure out on your own where it was. Thinking it safer to stay put than wander around, you lean back against the wall, trying to look around insouciantly at the crowd. As soon as you lock eyes with one of the boys dancing on the floor, your gaze is turning down and you take out your phone to fiddle with it while waiting for Soobin.

Unknowingly, you pull up the picture that she had sent last week and instantly, you can see Namjoon’s eyes once more.

“How…,” you keep exiting out of the messages app and entering again just to make sure you weren’t seeing things. And you definitely weren’t. Where was Soobin? You needed to show her this. Looking up, you walk forward a little bit, hoping to see her among the crowd but you can’t see anything in this dim light. What you do see, however, is how familiar the hallway besides you looked. Trying to rake your brain for answers, you decide to have a look. Why did it feel like you’d been here before when this was your first time coming to this frat house?

You walk a little further towards the darker hallway, lit with a dim yellow light right at the end of it. All breath is sucked out of you when you realise where you’d seen it before. Every marking on the wall starts to come back to you when you remember the exact place you’d been dreaming about this past week. You can feel the skin of your arm raising up in goosebumps, mouth running dry as you continue to stare. How did you dream about a place you’d never seen before? How was this possible. What was even more eerie was how your body had started to take you further in to the hallway as if moving on its own accord. You find yourself bracing your hands against the walls as you walk forward, reaching the end of the hallway. With every step, you felt yourself growing calmer and calmer.

Why did you feel like this was what you were supposed to do? You didn’t even know where you were going but your feet seemed to. Somehow, you’d lost all control of your body and you weren’t nearly as scared as you thought you would be. Turning to the right where you saw a door, just like in your dream, you walk further towards it. Your fingers reach forward on the handle as you gulp in the saliva that had pooled in your mouth all of a sudden. When you open the door, even though you know to some extent what will greet you, you still close your eyes, afraid that this unnerving coincidence was not that at all. A coincidence.

“Hello, y/n.” The deep, euphonious voice sends a shiver down your spine so violently that you’re stumbling forward in the room, breath held but eyes finally open and coming face to face with Namjoon. How did you know he would be here? How did he know your name? Did he know you were coming in? He sure sounded like he was expecting you. And just as you had expected before, you were awestruck at his beauty and once again, his sharpest and the most attractive feature were his smouldering eyes. Looking at you like he wanted to devour you.

“H-Hi?”

“She’s cute.” Your head jerks towards the female voice and the blush creeps up on your skin furiously when you see her on the lap of another man who you would think looked a bit forlorn with her on his lap if it wasn’t for the possessive way he was holding on to her.

“And all mine.” Namjoon sounds even more menacing than he looks while the girl in question, who you recognize as Hyuna, just smirks and resumes placing kisses on the boy’s long neck. You should be turning away and running out. This was no place for you with Namjoon sitting on the couch, legs splayed like he owned the place while unfamiliar girls sat at each side, kissing his neck, caressing his hair.

This was too scandalous for you and yet your eyes took in their every lustful look. “Come on. Don’t be shy, y/n.”

Something about his smile is so reassuring and has such a calming effect on you once again that you’re walking forward with ease, almost in a trance until you come to a halt in front of him. What was happening to you? You were being so reckless and yet, you physically couldn’t stop yourself. For all you knew, he could be a murderer. Oh god.

It’s not until you’ve been tugged down on his lap that you snap out of your inner monologue and notice the thick smoke surrounding you, lacing the air that you breathe in. It didn’t reek heavily of marijuana and you wonder if it’s because of that ‘secret’ ingredient that Soobin said Namjoon used. When his hands slither around your waist, you can feel your flesh getting covered in goosebumps, skin feeling like it had been electrified where he touched. Your back straightened slightly at the contact, in turn pushing out your chest involuntarily closer to his.

“H-How do you know m-my name?” Namjoon just continues to stare you down, a playful smile on his lips as his other hand also clambers up your thigh where your dress had ridden up a fair bit.

“Don’t be like this, love. You know we’ve met before.” Your breathing had picked up significantly and you think you might faint as your mind wanders back to the strange dreams you’ve been having. And the photo… Namjoon has not broken character. He’s as put together as you’re about to lose it. His warm hands caressing your back and thigh are not helping. Not to forget the salacious noises coming from Hyuna and her boytoy who are now locked in a heavy embrace.

“T-That’s not possible. I-I have to go. I-” you’re shaking your head while closing your eyes for just a second to gather your thoughts. Maybe coming here wasn’t a good idea.

“Y/n.” Your body halts where it is on his lap at his commanding tone. “Sit. Here, take this, darling.”

You can see him reaching besides him where the smoking cigarette lay, almost looking like a cigar, before bringing the sweet smelling stick towards you. Namjoon makes sure to keep his eyes locked on to yours when he parts his luscious lips, wrapping them tantalising around the thick object and takes in a deep drag while his eyes close as well. It’s the single most erotic thing you’d seen tonight. Or maybe ever. You’re mesmerised as you watch him hold in the smoke in his mouth for a few seconds before he’s bringing his face even closer to yours and then blowing the smoke gently, right on to your face.

Your eyes close on instinct, anticipating a foul smell or for your eyes to burn. But as surprising as everything else tonight, no such thing happens. Instead, you can feel yourself breathing the sweet yet earthy scent in even deeper, lungs seeming to not be able to get enough of the thick smoke inside. When your eyes open, you find Namjoon’s sparkling ones staring right at you.

“You want more?” There is no question about you being under the influence of something at this stage. Whatever it was that Namjoon was making you inhale – it was messing with your brain and making you that much more receptive to everything that was happening. You didn’t feel the need to suddenly get up and go. Instead, your hands found purchase on the silk of his shirt as he took in another deep drag of the cigar. You had your eyes closed, ready for the gust of smoke to hit your nostrils but instead, you feel Namjoon’s nimble fingers taking a hold of your chin as your eyes fall open in surprise.

The next thing he does almost makes you faint but you just hang on to him tighter, knuckles turning white as he taps his fingers on to your lips in a signal for you to part them. Your eyes are wide, a small moan escaping your mouth that’s painted red and then – Namjoon is exhaling the thick translucent smoke right in to your mouth. You could feel the warmth of his lips that almost touched yours and the closeness only makes you yearn to have them locked with yours.

“You liked that baby?” Every movement from his mouth can faintly be felt on your lips – that’s how close he is. But for some reason, he doesn’t close the distance. Though the strange wetness between your thighs makes you want to rub them together until you would no doubt chafe them. Your shifting on his lap however, has him looking down with you but he doesn’t look as clueless as you. Instead, he’s biting his lip, a heavy hand running down your thigh before running up on the insides of it – dangerously close to your white cotton panties. If you’d known you’d be lured in to Namjoon’s sex dungeon, you would’ve worn something sexier.

The thought has your eyes going wide – remembering Soobin’s words.

He only sleeps with virgins.

Did he plan to have sex with you? Were you ready for that?

Before you can comprehend anything else, you’re blurting out the words as they form on your tongue while the smoke has clouded your brain, giving you courage you otherwise wouldn’t have. “A-Are you going to h-have sex with me?”

His body is rumbling with the laugh that he lets out, head tilting slightly backwards revealing the long column of his throat. You never thought someone just merely laughing – and at you no less – could look this picturesque. His hands have started to play with the hem of your dress while you wait for him to reply. When he finally looks back at you, the playfulness is replaced with something more carnal.

“Do you want me to?” Did you? Your body was humming with need when just an hour ago you weren’t even sure you wanted to stay at the party.

Namjoon’s hand that had been on your thigh was now drawing irregular shapes on the exposed skin, making it harder for you to think straight when each touch of his finger sent a jolt of need straight to your core.

“You don’t exactly have the luxury to choose Namjoon. Don’t be a fool and stop playing with your food.”

Once again you’d forgotten that Hyuna was right behind you but when you see her walking towards the door with the man she’d been with, your nerves come back at the prospect of being left alone with Namjoon. Were you safe here? What did she mean by food? All these questions are running through your head as everyone leaves the room one by one until you’re left completely alone with Namjoon.

He’s staring at you like he wants to devour you and you wonder if Hyuna meant that figuratively. How else could she possibly mean?

“Don’t be scared, love. I’m very gentle.” The way he tilts his head, a small grin on his face – it all makes you forget whatever it was that you were worried about. The burning needs is even more noticeable now as Namjoon’s large hands slip down to your bottom, pulling on your hips to slide you further up his lap.

“Lift up for me, y/n.” His voice is even while your breathing is not. You’ve never been in a compromising position like this with another man let alone one as attractive, terrifying and mysterious as him. Now that your legs were on either side of his body, your dress had all but been shifted up your ass most likely exposing your cotton panties. Not only that but the dampness of your panties was very much getting worse – Namjoon probably able to feel your arousal if he just slipped his hand a little further down. At this point, you were trying to not faint in his lap while under the influence of whatever the mysterious cigar had been – yet, you’re not feeling frightened or even the slightest worry. Instead, the excitement is bubbling deep within your core making you squirm under his heavy gaze.

“You smell divine little bird.” His hands have started to caress your back, fingers dancing along your spine while his gaze holds yours hostage. If you thought staring at his eyes through a photo was overwhelming – looking in to the dark irises now was an entirely different experience. The pounding of your heart is intense and loud – being able to feel your chest ‘thud’ with every beat.

A breath leaves escapes when Namjoon’s hands put pressure on the curve of your back, making your body move in a provocative rhythm with the heavy, muted music that can be heard from outside, making the actions even more wicked. The steady trickle of arousal from your core making your underwear stick to the contours of your pussy as the bundle of nerves situated above grazed the denim of Namjoon’s tight jeans with every roll of your hips. Soon enough, you’ve started to control the rhythm on your own as wicked desire has taken a hold of all of your senses – all worry and apprehension long dissipated in to the thick smoky air.

“N-Namjoon.” His name falls from your lips like a plea and his smirk only deepens as he sits back, settling in to the plush couch while a hand stays at the curve of your back to guide each movement.

“Hmm… you’re really good at this despite your inexperience little bird.” The pet name has you even more bothered. The seemingly innocent nickname rolling off a lot more alluringly from his tongue.

The hardness laying heavy between your legs was the testament to how effected he was too and that was where any indication of how much he was affected – ended. The sensual man looking you over like you’re his personal entertainer was only urging you on further in the roll of your hips. Never having felt any sensations like this before – you’re drunk on the pheromones in the air that was becoming smokier and smokier as Namjoon took deep inhales of the cigar. Your hands are clutching desperately on to Namjoon’s silk shirt with each roll of your hips – not being able to stop the inevitable.

Leaning forward, Namjoon is wrapping his hand around your hair at the nape of your neck, tilting your head backwards as he moves even closer. For a mere moment, you could cry with joy thinking he’ll finally kiss you. But alas, the wait is still on as he only exhales the thick smoke in your mouth, dragging his other hand down the middle of your chest as if he was tracing the pathway the smoke was taking inside of you.

“Please,” you didn’t know what you were asking for but for some reason this burning need had replaced the steadily growing arousal. It’s like with every inhale of the thick, sweet smoke, you were becoming desperate for something unknown, something you didn’t know you needed. However, Namjoon seemed to know exactly what he’s doing when he’s sliding off a strap of your dress of your shoulder, pressing hot open mouthed kisses up the column of your throat.

“It’ll be such a shame to ruin you.” His plush lips press a searing kiss underneath your earlobe, sending a chill down your spine. “But I have no choice. I’ve been waiting too long for you.”

Maybe If you weren’t so focused on trying to relieve the growing ache in your core, you would notice Namjoon’s dangerous words. But his actions and words didn’t corroborate each other. Where his words were somewhat threatening and worrying, his touch was soft and sensual – eating away at your rationality until you were a shivering mess in his lap. Your soft groans and needy whimpers only egg him on as he slides the other strap down your shoulder too.

Where you couldn’t even change in front of Soobin – you were being undressed by a man you barely knew and somehow you didn’t care. In a haste – you’re clawing at his shirt, trying to reveal some skin you could taste yourself. Never having been this bold – you even surprise yourself when you start unbuttoning Namjoon’s shirt.

“Slow down little bird. We have all the time in the world.” His chuckle doesn’t do much to halt your actions. Instead, you’re hurriedly popping off each button, revealing the smooth expanse of his chest and tight abdominal muscles. With his hair pushed back, eyes heavy – he looks like the definition of an angel. His skin is somehow almost glowing and you want nothing more than to cover it with your kisses.

“P-Please. I-I need-” Namjoon slides his hands inside your dress, dragging the fabric upwards until you lift up your arms to let him take it off completely.

“What do you need, y/n? Where do you need me?” He doesn’t sound like he genuinely wants to know. You can tell he just wants to make you say aloud. Say things aloud you never thought you would ask for let alone let some stranger do to you.

“Y-you. I need… you- oh.” Namjoon has started to palm one of your heaving breasts – pulling on the nipple through your white bra.

“Where, little bird? Where do you want me?” His reverberating growl makes another trickle of arousal escape, soiling your panties and no doubt staining his pants too.

Taking his hand that’s on your chest and dragging it downwards until it rests just above your underwear band. If you thought Namjoon’s eyes were dark and heavy before – his irises were completely black now. His pupils dilated and nostrils flaring as he looks down at your hand covering his own. “Here.”

You don’t know how you kept yourself from being a stuttering mess when asking something so completely shameless from him. No morals or ethics were currently holding you back as you asked him for what you needed. With another noise that sounded much like an inhuman growl, Namjoon’s shoving his hand inside your panties as his fingers dive straight for your slit making your head fall back as the delicious sensations have you singing.

“I can’t wait much longer but… I’ll make you feel good y/n. I’ll taste every inch of you.” You’re none the wiser when he’s growling like that, caressing your silken folds with his fingers that drag against them – relieving the pressure slightly. But that doesn’t make you want him less. A jolt of electricity goes through you when his index and middle finger slide upwards – settling on your clit and rolling it in tight circles.

“Ah! N-Namjoon I’m so c-close.” You felt like you were about to burst in to tears. So tightly wound but not being able to untie that knot somehow. Namjoon doubled his ministration, mumbling his erogenous words and promises about what he would do to you. But at no point do you ask him to stop. When his two circling fingers suddenly slip back down – your eyes are going wide at the loss of the sensations. You were so, so close.

But you don’t have to wait for too long as he’s spearing his two fingers inside your clenching entrance, making you shout aloud from the sudden thick intrusion. “Breathe, y/n. Just relax for me baby. Just like that.”

His soothing voice is enough for you to be doing exactly as he says. Your vaginal walls are relaxing around his digits as they rub your insides – nudging at that spongy spot that has you seeing stars with a shout.

“Namjoon! Oh god…” His chuckle is somehow heard through your own cries as he starts to thrust the two slickened fingers in and out.

“God won’t be able to save you now darling. Not when I’m about to have a taste…”

In an instant, Namjoon has you pushed back in to the couch, back laying on the soft velvety couch while his lithe figure loomed over you. His silk shirt open, exposing his smooth yet firm chest, hair falling forward as he supported his weight on the arm that wasn’t occupied. If you’d thought he looked beautiful before – he looked almost otherworldly now. It was as if you were in a dream – barely able to comprehend what was going on other than the intense burning in your core that seemed to flow out to the rest of your body. Your legs had fallen open, giving Namjoon full opportunity to continue his assault on your core that you welcomed. Back arching, his name falling from your lips – you revelled in the hedonistic pleasure that Namjoon was forcing inside your buzzing frame.

“That’s it little bird. Cum for me. Give me a taste, won’t you…” The slight tilt of his head as his mischievous tone asks you the rhetorical question only pushes you closer to your peak. As Namjoon continues to scissor his two fingers in and out of your pussy, your mind his becoming hazy.

“Fucking hell. You look amazing. Cum now y/n.” It’s his last growl that has you clamping your legs around his waist – crying out his name like a prayer while you spasm beneath him cumming harder than your own hand had ever made you.

Gently – Namjoon continues to thrust his fingers inside, momentarily pulling them out completely to rub your leaking fluids all around your pussy. Just when you think the burning in your core would subside – nothing of the sort happens. Instead, you can feel like desire clawing its way back in to your pussy faster than before and you’re extending your arms to bring Namjoon closer to you.

“K-Kiss me. Please, N-Namjoon…. I need-” He pulls his hand out of your panties, bringing them up to his lips as he pushes his slick, dripping fingers inside his mouth – tasting you on his tongue. A deep rumble from within his throat makes your body shiver once more and makes all the blood rush to your cheeks when he closes his eyes as well – savouring the taste. Maybe he was trying to distract you from asking him to kiss you. Whatever it was, it works as you watch him in a daze.

“I wish I could eat your pussy until you’re all I can taste but… I need you. Now.” His growl is carnal and you’re just following his every command. The buzzing in your core has become more incessant and you’re positively vibrating with need. Namjoon makes haste of his shirt, pushes down his arousal stained jeans and even before they are off – you can tell that he’s bigger than the average man. His erection stand proud and thick, the pearly white pre-cum leaking from the mushroom head as he palms himself.

You’re staring in amazement as even his own hand just barely fits around the base and it’s the first time tonight you’re having second thoughts. But Namjoon has quickly come forward, hovering on top of you again as he bites his lip.

“Take everything off little bird. I want to see all of you.” He watches you with his sparkling eyes while you unclip your bra and take off your panties that have strings of arousal keeping it from being completely torn off and Namjoon hisses at the image. “Fuck, you’re so wet baby. So wet and ready for me. I’ve been waiting so long…”

There it was again. What did he mean by waiting? Waiting for you? Did you know him from somewhere else? You don’t remember telling anyone about coming to the party or even your university. So how did he know you would be here?

“Ah!” All breath is knocked out of you once again tonight when Namjoon’s warm tongue is licking across your nipples – wetting them and sucking them gently to have you writhing. Your head is pushed back and eyes closed as his hands pull your pelvis closer to his own – getting ready to connect you both and it only makes you mewl louder.

It’s only for a second – if not less – that you open your eyes. What you see, however, has your blood running cold. Namjoon’s tongue is still laving your hardened nipples but the shape of his tongue is something else entirely. You’re so sure that his tongue edges were a serrated shape but before you can scream or say anything – Namjoon has pushed his entire girth inside your weeping pussy.

“Fuck!” He’s growling while your eyes are blown wide simultaneously. You expected excruciating pain to go through your entire body but apart from a slight pinch – you feel nothing but bliss. Maybe it was the effect of whatever he had you smoke or maybe sex felt this good even for the first time? You don’t get to mull over that thought for long when he grabs on to your hands and pins them above you head – gazing deeply in to your eyes.

“You’re better than anything I ever imagined. I’m going to ruinyou, darling.” His chuckle is sinister but you can only push your hips up in an effort to take him deeper when he was already pushed to the hilt. Your cries can be heard throughout the room and finally – Namjoon starts to move his hips.

With each thrust of his fluid hips forward, you’re being pushed backwards on the couch, a symphony of his name falling from your lips. Soon, sweat starts to trickle down his temples as he pushes his hips in to you with ever increasing force. His teeth are clenched hard enough that you can see every twitch in his cheek muscle. Your breasts bouncing with every vicious thrust of his length as it spears in to your pussy.

“Na-am-jo-on. Oh god.” Your eyes are tearing up as the knot in your core gets tighter and tighter – Namjoon’s length growing even harder inside you. Even when you two are joined so intimately like this; he doesn’t kiss you. He doesn’t even indicate if he even wantsto kiss you. Your hands are clawing at his back, mouth hanging open like a drunkard as he grabs one of your legs and pulls on it until your ankle hangs off of his shoulder. The new angle reaching depths inside you that you hadn’t felt before and the new sensations make you cry harder – so good that they border on painful. It’s like he’s shoving the powerful sensations inside you with every deep thrust.

“Fuck yes. God won’t be able to stop me from having you, love.” His laugh is just as hypnotising – but now with a ominous edge to it. He’s looking down at you with his tongue peeking out from the edge of his enticing mouth. You’re in no shape to fight him off – or that you want to. Not when you’re so close to the finish line you could taste the relief. It’s so persistent that you feel as if it would never stop. Your breaths growing shallower as high pitched sobs sound from your mouth – tears streaming down your face as your overheated body takes every slap of his hips against your ass. The lewd noises that accompany his every lunge only make you gush more.

“You gunna cum for me, y/n? Your needy pussy ready to gush for me? Hm? Answer me!”

His tone is nowhere as gentle as when he’d started as he stares you down – sweat dripping down his temple and the bridge of his nose while all you can do is sob and nod out your reply. Namjoon is taking it a step further as he brings your other leg up too until both of your ankles now hang off of his shoulder – almost folding you in half as his cock slices in to your pussy like a hot knife going through butter. Your body so pliable from his hands constantly squeezing and running across it.

Just when you feel the string inside you about to snap – Namjoon makes the sensations tenfold more severe when his palm lands on your blood filled clit, rubbing it in circles before he pinches it to push you face first in to an almost violent orgasm as your whole body twitches. You can’t recall how long your orgasm went for – or how long you’d actually been with him, really. But it seems to go on and on and on. Your body stretched tight as your back remains arched – hands trying to grasp any part of Namjoon’s body as he continuous to push his cock in and out of your sloppy cunt.

Your orgasm is prolonged surely because of Namjoon’s never slowing ministrations. Your body is flopping in to the couch as the toll of your strenuous and debauched activities finally kicks in. Your arms and legs are quivering and yet, the stiff length that’s being dragged in and out of you is not relenting. The sweat dripping from Namjoon’s temple tells you how much of his energy is being used – and so is yours. Because it felt like the soul was being sucked out of you. Suddenly, the same sensations that were so mind numbingly pleasurable now felt like were making you dizzier and dizzier.

“Fuck, fuck! you’re so sweet I can’t stop little bird.” Namjoon’s growling out his words as he pushes your trembling legs off his shoulder and wrapping them around his waist. You’re so far gone that your head is lolled to the side, arms just trying to hold on to him as his hips continue to slam in to yours – the wet sounds accompanying each move incredibly erogenous.

“I can’t a-any m-more. Oh god…” His hand has slipped back down, swiping against your clit which reignites the pleasure a little more for you until you’re moaning like a vixen again.

Swiftly, Namjoon has risen from his position above you, leaning back with your legs still locked behind his back until he has you in his lap – his hands wrapping around your hips to gain leverage as he pushes his hips up in to your pussy in this new position.

The new angle is enough to have your eyes tearing up because somehow – the sex feels even more good than before. You’re losing sight of what is happening and the only thing you can focus on is the burning needs rising in your center again even if you felt like they were on fire. Tears have started to escape, your tongue loose as you shout out Namjoon’s name again and again. The was something happening and you couldn’t understand what. Not in the state that you were in. Past your hazy eyes, you could see that Namjoon looked…. Different. You weren’t sure how but you felt it. You felt the shift in the air now that he was ravaging your body unlike anyone else. You thought you wouldn’t be able to handle more but somehow, you were still clinging on to him as he repeatedly drove in to you. Now bouncing you on his lap to milk out his pleasure.

He was starting to glow. Radiating such energy you thought you were seeing an angel. Your body was getting more and more tranquil and pliant – letting him whisper all the sweet dirty things in your ear while he brought you to your peak again. This time – him joining you too. And doing the completely unexpected.

“I’m going to cum y/n. I’m going to fill you up with everything that I have so you will remember me forever.” His grin is not fear invoking anymore. It seems like he is content – unlike how he’d been at first. Purposeful. Almost vengeful as he coaxed you in to his arms. You were losing your senses as the time went – only able to recognise the stabbing pleasure at your core that Namjoon was stuffing in you to the brim. He looked scenic. Like a Greek god with the sweat shining on his body and muscles bulging and the urge to kiss him again rose with an agonising need.

“Please,” you pant with every push of his hips up in to yours. “Kiss me N-Namjoon. Kiss me. Please.” You’re pleading as your walls clench around his hard length and for the first time – his eyes soften enough for you to actually think he might be concerned. For what, you didn’t know.

“I don’t want to… hurt you.” His brow creases as he stares up at your dishevelled state, with the kindest eyes you’d seen on him since you step foot in to the room. But there was no reasoning with you as drunk on pheromones as you were. Clawing at his chest to pull him closer. And for once – Namjoon gives in and seals your lips in a searing kiss.

In a matter of seconds, he’s growling in the kiss as he cum with such stagnant force. You follow suit – body trembling as you feel the spurts of his cum splash inside your overheated pussy – dribbling out like saliva. But nothing compares to the feeling of his lips on yours. You don’t care that with each passing second you’re losing conscious – body suddenly growing weaker and weaker. More fatigue kicking in despite Namjoon doing all the work. You felt like you were in a dream – floating through the air feeling light as a feather. Namjoon’s lips were like having a glass of the richest red wine. You wanted even more as you clung on to his frame – pushing your tongue against his to drink him in.

“You’re like the sweetest fruit little bird. I will miss you.” You can hear Namjoon’s voice but somehow you can’t place where it’s coming from. Your eyes are falling shut and your limbs have lost all control as you lay your head on his shoulder – too spent to even bat an eyelash.

No one told you you’d be this tired after sex or was it just a thing with Namjoon? Whatever it is, you can vaguely feel yourself being put in something familiar. Some surface that feels all too familiar that the next thing you know, is blackness. Not before you hear Namjoon’s last words.

“Thank you little bird. You were a special one.” His voice sounds pained and you want to ask him why. But you can’t seem to open your eyes or even speak. You can tell he’s standing near you because the pull is too strong for you to ignore. Then, with a gentle kiss to your forehead, you hear nothing from him anymore. All you see is blackness.

Namjoon is thankful to be alive as he walks back to his place. Leaving you was harder than he’d thought it’d be but you wouldn’t have the energy to speak let alone walk back to your place after that. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d slept with someone and he was getting weaker. When you’d arrived on campus – he’d been thrilled. But watching you these past few weeks had made him in to another man. A weaker man. Caring about you was never the plan but he’d come to do that too.

Alas, he had to leave you alone now. He wouldn’t hurt you anymore. He may be a demon – but even he would not act this evil. He could tell you’d remembered him from the dreams. He’d been too greedy. Too selfish that despite Hyuna’s warning about him getting too close to his prey – he’d inserted himself in to your life more than necessary. Maybe a one night stand would have been easier for you to forget if he’d met you for the first time today. But the way you screamed his name, begged him to kiss you… he knew he was in trouble.

Because something told him that you wouldn’t be staying away.

a/n: dont forget to tell me what you thought!!

#bts smut #namjoon smut #bts fanfction #hobiwonder

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unofficialkfamtranscripts · 5 years ago

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King Falls AM - Episode 10: Medium Rare

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Summary: September 15, 2015 - Sammy & Ben welcome in studio guest, medium Miss Olivia DuPont, however a miscommunication of her talents brings up some painful memories that both Ben & Deputy Troy wish to forget.

[podcast intro music]

Sammy [agitated] I’m not gonna debate you ma’am, I’m just trying to say that gravity really isn’t something that’s up for discussion, sheesh.

Ben [amused] Don’t take it personally. Mrs. Bodenheimer told me in third grade that she didn’t believe in air.

Sammy …conditioning?

Ben Oh, no! Air. In general. She thought oxygen was a satanic fairy tale concocted by God-hating scientists.

Sammy [disbelieving] Yet she was in charge of educating you and hundreds of other youngsters.

Ben College diploma goes a long way in a little town, buddy.

Sammy Alright, well up next we’ve got a pretty interesting visitor coming in studio with us.

Ben Hopefully so!

Sammy O— you don’t know her?

Ben I do not, but she sent us a ton of emails during the electrolocaust and said she was a big fan.

Sammy All of them say she has a special talent she’d like to share with us and the listeners

Ben Absolutely, and she’ll be coming up after a word from our sponsors.

[dramatic eerie music]

Announcer On the season premier of the nation’s number one paranormal investigation show: Mission Apparition. [theatrical crash] Dan and the team find themselves in a sticky situation. [static]

Dan [echoing] They had to shut this place down after all the accidents. This is Tanner’s Taffy factory and it’s been abandoned since 1991. [static]

Announcer …or has it?

Dan There’s, uh— God there’s a lot of EVP activity around [walkie talkie sound] Larry, Larry I’d think you better go.

[theatrical crash]

Dan [walkie click] [hushed] Larry? Larry! [walkie click] Larry go!

Larry [creepy, ascending, violin-screech sound effects] [through walkie] I see the lights, man, I see it

Dan Larry move your ass!

Announcer It’s another can’t-miss episode from the show that doesn’t miss a thing when it comes to the extraordinary: Mission Apparition

[News music]

NEWS ANCHOR Season premier, tonight at 9pm on King Falls Channel 13.

[KFAM theme]

Ben That is- ridiculous.

Sammy We’re live, Ben.

Ben I know! It doesn’t change the fact that “Mission Apparition” sucks as much as the channel that shows it.

Sammy It sounded pretty interesting to me.

Ben Dan and Larry from that show? wouldn’t know what to do in a haunted situation to save their lives. Stupid meters and light particles, [“stupid voice” imitation] “oh hey I know! let’s shoot some night vision so everything looks pretty scary and suspect!” Idiots.

Sammy You don’t have to get hot about it.

Ben Oh, I’m just fine, Sammy. I’m simply saying, Mission Apparition is a dumb show Made by dummies For dummies.

Sammy Ladies and gentlemen, please be sure to direct all your hateful tweets to @kingfallsam and we’ll make sure Ben answers each and every one.

Ben Get at me twitter! #bringit

Sammy *laughs* On a different note, we have a guest in studio with us tonight. She is a self-professed medium—

Olivia [slight South African accent] Miss Olivia DuPont. Heh, see I knew it was coming.

Sammy [laughing] You’re good Miss DuPont. So Ben tells me you emailed us in hopes of coming on the show?

Olivia I was very eager to come visit my favourite late-night AM talk show and maybe help some people with some closure along the way.

Ben Thanks Miss DuPont, we are happy to have you.

Olivia Oh, please call me Golden Owl. *Who-whoo who-whoo!*

Sammy Ummm…

Olivia *Laughs* What a hoot and riot, you should have seen your face Sammy. Please, call me Olivia.

Ben Ha. S- soo… um, you aren’t from King Falls, is that correct?

Olivia That is, I live a few towns over. Up in Big Pine. That’s where my shop is as well.

Ben I love Big Pine! I- I used to go camping there as a kid! It’s beautiful and so laid-back.

Sammy Laid-back? I didn’t know it got slower then King Falls!

Ben You’ll have to excuse Shotgun Sammy here, he’s a Big City guy.

Sammy Anyway, so how did you find out that you had this talent, Olivia? That you were a medium.

Olivia Oh, from a very young age. My parents were veterinarians and we lived in an apartment above their office, so I used to hear- so many lost souls. Day in and day out.

Ben Lost souls? Wh-why were these people hanging out at the vets?

Olivia [confused] People?

Sammy I’m sorry, Olivia. Maybe we’ve got our wires crossed here. We were under the impression that you were a psychic.

Olivia [firmly] Medium. Psychics are low life charlatans.

Sammy I’m sorry, a medium.

Olivia A medium is someone whose 6th sense is so in tune, so aware, that a bridge is made to the other side, in which we can communicate with our loved ones.

Ben Uh, but- but again why were the souls of people hanging out at your parents’ vet office?

Olivia *scoffs* What does this have to do with people, Ben?

Sammy Okay, this bridge that you’ve-you’ve built to the other side. Is it not for people?

Olivia [laughing] Heaven’s no!

Ben I’m lost.

Olivia Well I’m- one of a kind, I get human interference from- time to time, you know [long-suffering] a mother looking to reconnect with her kids, a brother that died in the war. Ugh. I ignore that. This is about our deceased loved ones. The furry kind, or feathered! or what-have-you.

Ben Wait. You talk to dead pets?

Olivia Harsh, but not incorrect Ben.

Ben [growing slightly frantic]Oh, no, see I-I-I booked you so we could talk about your gift and take some calls from the listeners, but—

Olivia We can take calls Ben.

Sammy So, to be clear, you have contact with human spirits and you just toss them to the wayside to talk to Fido.

Olivia *laughs* Anyone can talk to deceased humans, Sammy, especially here in King Falls. This place is beaming with activity- even the two of you could do it if you tried. But nobody talks to our long-lost pets.

Ben I’m sorry, this isn’t what we were looking for Miss DuPont.

Olivia Golden Owl. Hoh, excuse me boys *loud sigh* this one is coming on strong! MMMOOooo MMMrrrr… Moo. *loud sigh* Sorry boys,[solemnly] that was- that was a rough one. Cassie the Cow was crying out. She lived in one of those factory farms and she- *deep breath* was using me to tell the world about her last days in the Cowschwitz[sic].

Sammy Okay folks, we’re sorry. Just give us a minute or two so we can uh… So we can get this—

Olivia I seeee… a dog? forgive me- AAAOOOoo AWAWWOOooo ARAwwo *growls*

Ben [Irritated] Okay, I think we’ve heard enough.

Olivia Wolfington?

Ben This is insane.

Sammy [seriously] Wait. What color is the dog?

Olivia Black— oh a little-bit of brown. He looks like— a lap dog perhaps? Uhh…

Sammy A terrier!

Olivia Oh, of course, I can see it nowww. He’s just wagging his tail, so happy, chasing his ball- Oh! Ooh, he’s mounting your Teddy Ruxpin bear[1].

Sammy That’s him! Oh my gosh!

Ben [incredulous] Wolfington the terrier? Come oonnn.

Sammy That’s my dog, Ben! He ran away when I was in grade school.

Olivia Woof! RUFF! Ruff-ruff-rUFF! Oh. He wants you to know that he’s fine Sammy, Wolfington had a good life. He isn’t mad that you only ever shared your veggies at the dinner table.

Sammy [entreating] Heh, it’s all I could do little buddy! my mom was always watchin’!

Ben Sammy?

Sammy Uh, *clears throat* I mean, y-you know that’s- that’s good, that’s real good Olivia. Uh, thank you.

Ben What is going on here?! Snap out if it, Sammy, this is obviously a con. Facebook info- or something.

Olivia I seee— [whispered] what is it? Is it a bird?

Ben [mocking]Cuckoo. Cuckoo.

Olivia Is it a tiny… monkey? No— no no, dig deeper. Marsupial!

Ben You aren’t buying this, right?

Olivia I feeel a- a naame… Serendipity?

Ben [shocked] What the Hell?

Sammy Ben, you alright over there?

Ben I’m- fine. Um. Go on, Golden Owl?

Olivia Is it a… sugar glider!

Ben It is! Serendipity the sugar glider! Oh man.

Sammy You can’t be serious, Ben. Your parents bought you an exotic animal and the best name you can come up with is “Serendipity”?

Ben [defensive] It came already named, man, and No, for the record? we found it. There was a travelling zoo that came through the Falls. And the day after, my friends and I found a box, down at the fairgrounds, and inside? there was little Serendipity, looking back up at us.

Olivia He said he’s sorry that he couldn’t stay. He wishes he did, that mean man with the badge- well, [softly] and you know how that goes.

Sammy Uh, how what goes? What happened?

Ben [upset] I don’t want to talk about it.

Olivia He forgives you Ben.

Ben [forcefully] Golden Owl I said I’m done! Let’s Take some callers.

Sammy Ben, I’m sorry, but this seems like—

Ben [distressed] Why don’t you pry your fingers- into the open wound- of my heart, and dig it all out, Sammy? Sweet Jack in the Box Jesus.

Sammy … You’re right, I-I’m sorry Ben. Well, King Falls you’ve heard Serendipity’s story, now let’s hear yours. 424-279-3858. We are live with pet medium, Olivia DuPont a—

Ben Did he live a good life? Olivia? W-was he happy, like Sammy’s puppy?

Olivia Do you not know?

Ben Know what?

Sammy I’m so confused here.

Olivia Serendipity was a bit of an outlaw. Sugar Gliders are illegal to posses in the tri-state region because of the ’72 Sugar Flu outbreak.

Sammy Seriously, okay guys, I just pulled up Sugar Gliders on the googs, adorable!

Ben They were still illegal. My mom tried calling the travelling zoo but to no avail. And it wasn’t like I didn’t want to keep Serendipity, I loved the little guy but, one of my backstabbing “friends” from school said something to Bodenheimer … I-I don’t want to talk about this.

Sammy They took him away?

Ben Mrs. Bodenheimer did. She took him to the office, and I never saw him again. She said she was going to make sure he got back to the zoo, di-di-did he, Golden Owl?

Olivia MMEEEEOOOOOWWW MEOOOWWW *hisses* Sorry, a calico is summoning me.

Ben Cut the crap! What’s this about the man with the badge?

Olivia [nervously] O- of course I’ve just heard this second-hand. Ben— I mean who’s to say exactly- what happened? It- you know, it’s from a different perspective then we can understand.

Ben What happened?

Olivia Serendipity- bit the man with the badge on the drive and- was tossed out the window. Into the river. Then- eventually down the falls. *chitters and hisses*

Ben That son of a bitch, w-wha-who’s name was on that badge?

Olivia It’s murky. Hard to grasp. Serendipity is jumping from nether tree to nether tree- Oh! Oh! I think I have it. [straining] G. U. N. Oh, I can’t see- D?

Ben [angrily] I knnnew it.

Olivia Take it with a grain of salt Ben- I mean, it’s just one version, from [laughingly] a marsupial no less.

Ben He was an awesome. possum. I-I gotta step outside for a minute [chair squeak].

Sammy While Ben takes a little break, let’s take a few callers.[door closing] Give us a call King Falls. Let’s talk about your dearly departed, uh, pets.

Olivia I’m ready.

Sammy Line 4, you’re live with Sammy and Miss Olivia DuPont.

Troy Gosh darn it, Sammy, I’m really sorry to hear about Ben’s little buddy.

Sammy I’m sure he’ll appreciate the kind words Troy, I’ll be sure to pass them on buddy .

[police radio can be heard faintly in bg]

Troy [solemn] I’ve got a confession to make that I ain’t proud of. I… I was the reason for the demise of little Serendipity. Such a sweet little fella. I just didn’t know he get taken away, y’know? For good.

Sammy Wait. You’re the reason Serendipity was taken away?

Troy Ah hells bells Sammy, I was the one that rolled over on Ben but— I didn’t mean for the little furry guy to get taken away! It was just a real kerfuffle on this end.

Sammy This explains so much.

Troy Me and Ben was best buddies coming up, Sammy. I didn’t want to tell on him, but little Serendipity got frisky one day at lunch and sh[bleep] on one of the teacher’s Mexican pizza. Tough ol’ Bodenheimer cornered me ‘cause she thought he was mine. Ben ain’t never gonna forgive me and that’s deserved.

[door closing]

Sammy That’s all in the past Troy. I’m sure- someday –

Ben Sorry about that guys. Some-someday what?

Sammy Oh, uh- y-you know- we-we’re just taking calls from listeners right now Ben. On the line we’ve got- Troy.

Troy [mournful] Hey Ben. Man I was listening to the program tonight, when I heard Miss DuPont pontificatin’ about the dead animals and su—

Ben [Hastily] Now’s not the time Troy, especially from you!

Troy I’m hurtin’ something awful about Serendipity, buddy. How many times do I have to apologize to make it right?

Ben Loose Lips Sink Ships, Troy, the ship of friendship. Have fun on the SS Backstabber. [click, dial tone] Line 1, you’re live on King Falls AM. Prepare your tissues.

Ron Boys, I won’t keep you long. This question is for, Golden Owl? is that right?

Olivia Yes.

Ron Before my question ma’am, you might want to work on that name. It might just be me, but it sounds like a sophisticated lemon party for birds.Not that I’m against that sort of thing. Sh[bleep] even last night—

Sammy Ron Begley, ladies and gents.

Ron Alright I get it, enough foreplay. Brass tacks Miss Owl, how does it work if you didn’t particularly own the pet, but you saw it as a kid, grew up near it, fed it, maybe had a puff the magic dragon relationship with it.

Ben He wants to know if you can tap into your unending source of pain and find Kingsie’s parents. Maybe tell us how they were, harpooned by Japanese tourists in front of Kingsie as a baby and made into sashimi.

Olivia Mr. Begley I’m not sure if that’s really in my wheelhouse, but perhaps if you introduce me to this Kingsie you’re referencing?

Ron Well hell yeah! How can I get a hold of you to make an appointment?

Sammy All of Miss DuPont’s information is on our website Ron, or you can check it out on twitter at—

Ron Yeah yeah, @, ampersand, hashtag, underscore, exclamation mark dot dot dot King Falls dot net. Shut your sweet little trap Sammy! I got it! I’ll be in touch soon Golden Owl. [mildly exasperated] But seriously, work on that name

[click, dial tone]

Ben Other than, re-breaking everyone’s hearts, Olivia— what do you get out of this?

Olivia I’m sorry for the troublesome story, Ben. Not all of them -hardly any of them- end so badly.

Ben So I’m just the lucky one.

Sammy Ben—

Ben I’m so glad to hear that not everyone’s pet got thrown out of a moving car and into Peace river and down the falls by Sheriff damn Gunderson. That’s the silver lining, right?

Olivia If it’s true.

Ben [skeptical] You get a lot of lying cats and dogs in your line of work, Olivia?

Olivia [awkwardly] Not— to my knowledge.

Ben He did it.

Sammy Okay, let’s not go making accusations it could have been any number of deputies, maybe even from a different county, I mean who can say?

Ben [insistent] It was Gunderson, I just know it. He literally damn near spelled it out! Ask him to spell out the rest, Olivia.

Olivia He saysss, *sigh* Golden Owl, your business license is up for renewal, so don’t rock the boat?

Ben BULL!

Sammy *clears throat* Olivia, we’re gonna take another phone call here in a minute. Perhaps, uh, before that you could give us a light-hearted example of a run in with someone’s, uh, expired creature.

Olivia Well, there was this one encounter with Bruce the Stingray.

Sammy [incredulously] A stingray. Now, what’s a dead stingray got to talk about?

Olivia Well, Steve Irwin[2] for one.

[KFAM outro]

[Credits]

REFERENCES:

[1] Teddy Ruxpin - Teddy Ruxpin is an animatronic children's toy in the form of a talking 'Illiop', a creature which looks like a bear. The creature's mouth and eyes move while "reading" stories played on an audio tape cassette deck built into its back.

[2] Steve Irwin - “The Crocodile Hunter” was an Australian zookeeper, television personality, wildlife expert, environmentalist and conservationist. Possibly best known for the show “The Crocodile Hunter” (1996–2007), an internationally broadcast wildlife documentary series, which he co-hosted with his wife Terri. They also co-owned and operated Australia Zoo, about 80 kilometres (50 mi) north of the Queensland state capital city of Brisbane. Steve died on September 4, 2006, after being pierced in the chest by a stingray barb while filming in Australia's Great Barrier Reef.

#king falls am #king falls #kfam #sammy stevens #ben arnold #kfam transcripts #kfam ep10 #olivia dupont #Ron Begley #troy krieghauser #mission apparition

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luvdsc · 4 years ago

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you’re like 1000% more productive than me 😞. all i do all day is lay on my bed and do nothing, if i have my phone, i would play it all day but i got exam so rather than being on the bed, i would be studying 😢. for the weekend, i would probally go out and study with my friend for the other exam so the whole plan for my weekend is only, play and study loll. i know this is random but i have been craving for bột chiên but there isn’t any selling around my house 😭 - 🐧

oops and i forgot, me and my friend online only contact each other through instagram and nothing more 😢 once i couldn’t use my phone so i couldn’t go to ins, i told her to make a facebook account so that me and her could talk more easily since i could use it on the laptop but she also refuses. but i respect her opinion so i don’t force her. we know that we both have our own personal and busy life so we gotta respect each other 😚💗. and hope you’re having a great week 💓, love you💞💞💞💞 - 🐧

✿ ✿ ✿

xbnxndjdjsd I only sound productive, but the only movement I do is that one hour of cardio and trying out some cooking recipes with my mom for a few hours :’) the rest of the day is spent lounging around in bed on my laptop or my phone 🤧 so you’re much more productive than I am, honey bee! you’ve been working hard and studying for your exams !!! and you’re studying even more over the weekend now too omg 😱 pls remember to take some breaks in between and stay hydrated 💘 and good luck on your exams, lovebug!! 💛 oh my gosh, I love bot chien!!! 💖 it’s been a long time since I had it tho, and it’s like a 25 min drive to the vietnamese store to get it, which isn’t safe at all right now ): can you make it at home maybe?

Aah, I see! that’s unfortunate, but it’s good that you’re both respectful of each other, and I’m glad you were able to meet her and find someone to confide in, honey bee 💞 and I hope you’ll be able to talk to her soon! 🌸🌷 and my week has been going well, thank you! I hope yours is going well too and that your studying goes well!! You can do this!! 💕 Your exams are almost over ✨✨ and ily too, sweetpea 💓💓 I hope you’re having a wonderful weekend 💚

#asks #anonymous #🐧 anon

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liquor-and-intellect · 5 years ago

Text

WHEN WE ALL FALL ASLEEP WHERE DO WE GO? H.S. AU part one: bad guy

SUMMARY: Jay is force to be reckoned with. She does what she wants and the consequences aren’t as bad she’d expect. She stays out late, drinks with her friends and sleeps with Kai- who may or may not have a girlfriend.

When Jay meets Harry, her life seems to slow down. Feelings start to slip through the hard exterior that she’s worked so hard to build. She could finally learn to be vulnerable and overcome the scars left by her childhood that she didn’t realize went to deep.

Follows Billie Eilish’s Album.

part one: bad guy

“White shirt now red,

my bloody nose

sleeping, you’re on your tippy toes

Creeping around like no one knows

think you’re so criminal,”

- Billie Eilish

“Oh, my-“

I didn’t let Kai finish his sentence, but instead swallowed his moan. Pressing my mouth against his, I increased the strong rocking of my hips.

As my nose brushed the rough flesh of his, I felt a warm liquid slide across my nostrils, filling my nose with the hint of iron. I broke the contact of our mouths to ask when he groaned.

“I’m about to- I’m-“ Kai released a breath as his body shook beneath mine. His sweaty hands loosening their previously tight grip on my hips. I’m sure they would leave their usual marks. Kai dropped back against the pillows of the bed, his chest rising up and down as he worked on coming down from his high.

I pulled back from him, shifting my weight to his thighs as he caught his breath. “Are you using again?” I asked, wiping the back of my hand across my face to see the red stain of blood that had been dripping from his nose.

He opened one deep brown eye, obviously irritated that I had ruined the mood of our sexual endeavors. I was never one for pillow talk, he should have known this by now.

Kai sniffled, pushing his index finger against his nose. “Just a bit,” he grumbled.

He didn’t expect me to make any disappointed or upset remarks. It wasn’t our thing. I didn’t really care what he did with his life– and frankly he didn’t really care what I did with mine. This was the extent of mine and Kai’s relationship: mid-day, late night– or anywhere that could be quick and meaningless– sex.

He rubbed his thumb underneath my naval, looking up to meet my eyes. “Do you want me to…?”

Right when I was about to nod my head, we heard the front doorknob turning followed by the familiar sound of someone trying to find the right keys.

“Shit!” Kai sat up quickly, pushing me off in the process. “Get dressed now!”

I didn’t want to argue with him and tell him I was basically already dressed. We had never been in the business of too much foreplay. I smoothed my shirt back down and pulled my jeans up the remainder of my exposed hips.

“Get in the closet,” Kai demanded, and I saw the familiar spark of amusement in his eyes. While he was acting stressed, I knew better than anyone that Kai loved this game. He loved to sneak around, he got off on the excitement of it.

I rose any eyebrow and followed his order, letting him shut the closet door behind me. It wasn’t long before I heard his girlfriend enter the room.

“Kai, what are you doing home so early?”

Tiffany had a small, tender voice. She seemed sweet—at least as sweet as I could tell from her bedroom and apartment she and Kai shared. I also might have looked her up on Facebook once while drunk. I didn’t ever ask about her and Kai never really brought her up. We had a mutual understanding that she stayed out of our relationship as much as possible. I’m sure it was because- deep down- Kai felt guilt for continuing to cheat on his girlfriend. They had been together since high school.

I—on the other hand—had no such feelings on my conscious. I was fine. What I did was just to have some fun. Kai would cheat on his girlfriend whether I was a part of it or not. That was his personal problem, some deep rooted issue I’m sure he had from an absent father. I had never really been one for drama though. There was nothing that could ever practically come from my relationship with Kai—not that I had even wanted something. Even if I had even believed in love, it definitely would not be with someone like him.

“I came home on my lunch break, babe.”

I rolled my eyes at Kai. He really knew how to play the game. A small part of me felt bad for Tiffany.

Turning around in closet, I ran my hand across the silky shirts that were Tiffany’s. She had nice style, at least.

A bottle caught my eye on the shelf in the corner. Black and sleek. I picked it up, sniffing the top of it. Kai always did smell good when we were together. It reminded me of when we had first met drunkenly in a bar. All my friend had been mixing pills with their drinks and I was desperate to get away from them. Kai was there and very attractive and looked ready to tear the clothes off of any female that looked his way. Luckily, that had woman was me in the backseat of his car.

I spritzed a small amount onto my neck.

The closet door opened.

“She’s gone, Jay.”

His eyes looked at the bottle in my hand, I placed it back where it had been and walked out of the closet, my shoulder brushing his as I went around him.

Kai grabbed my wrist to pull me back to him, using his finger to brush down my cheek. “Now, where were we?” he whispered.

I snorted. “Done.” I reached underneath the bed to grab my shoes. I wonder if Tiffany saw them.

Kai stepped in front of me, blocking my way to the bedroom door. “She’s gone,” he said, his eyes trailing down my neck. “she’s not coming back for at least a couple of hours.”

Placing a hand on his chest, I gave it a friendly pat. “And I have somewhere to be,” I told him.

He puffed his chest in response. He was disappointed but Kai was also a tough guy and would never admit it.

“Where are you going?”

He asked so many questions. “Hell,” I responded.

He chuckled, leaning against the doorway and crossing his arms. “Ah, but you have such a good soul.”

I opened his front door, glancing back at him. The sun was bright and it was hot in Los Angeles in mid-august, I could feel my skin burning already. “Don’t be so cynical,” I yelled back as I closed the door.

My mother was not the proudest.

I tried my best not to give her as many details of my life when she called, I knew they would only disappoint. Which was fine, I totally get it. The little girl that tore your vagina during her grand entrance into the world lives in a small two-bedroom apartment with one roommate and likes to get drunk in her free time when she’s not waiting tables at the local Italian restaurant.

Life was not too shabby if I did say so myself. Sure, I had room to grow up and possibly mature some more. Most of my decisions were borderline questionable, but I’ve learned to lean into the excitement of doing things that caused risk.

My father had been a drughead and unfortunately left us by his own misdoing when he overdosed. I was twelve, mom was depressed, and I did the best to live my life on the fine line of learning to pretend I was okay. Which to some fortune, has turned out okay ten years later.

My thumb pressed ignore on my mother’s call and let the hustling of the bar that we were in blend into the background of my brain as I took another methodical sip of my drink. It was a place that me and my friends liked to attend often—especially on Friday nights when they had local bands playing on the cramped stage.

Currently, a deep raspy voice floated above the delicate strums of an electric guitar. “I’ll be your animal…” he sang. It put chills down my spine, but I pretended to remain unfazed.

I, also, tried not to notice as my roommate slid a pill past her lips and took another sip of her drink.

A groan to my left. “Shit, Jay. Wipe that frown off your face. I swear you’re always so serious.”

I smirked. “And you’re never serious enough.”

Hunter, my other friend accompanying us tonight, was a bundle of hormones and anxiety issues. She was the type of girl to jump on any guy that looked her way but then cried the next day as she wondered if he really thought she was pretty or if he was just faking it.

Of course, what she didn’t realize, is that she was gorgeous. Down to her freckled face and dark auburn hair. She could really be a picky girl if she tried.

“Oh my gosh, I think he’s looking at me. Is he looking at me?” Hunter sat up straighter, smoothing her blouse against the nonexistent wrinkles.

Winnie, my roommate, groaned. “Calm down, your, like, anxiety“-she waved her hand to motion Hunter’s entire body- “is really ruining this chill high I have going on.”

I snorted.

To entertain Hunter and genuinely check- although she wouldn’t admit it because she loves to be mean to her—, Winnie flipped her blonde hair over her shoulder to glance behind her at the mystery man that she was referring to. “Oh yeah, no,” Winnie laughed. “that’s that guy that Jay sleeps with on the reg. What’s his name? Kyle?”

Hunter nodded. “Yeah… he looks like a Kyle.”

“All the douches are Kyles.”

I glanced over Winnie’s shoulder to where Kai was standing with his girlfriend Tiffany. They were happily laughing at something their friend was saying in the corner area of the bar. Kai was nursing a beer in his hand while his other was resting on the small of his girlfriend’s back. Even though his name wasn’t Kyle… damn he really was a douche.

Winnie followed my gaze. “Five bucks says a sister won’t walk over and say hello.”

Hunter gasped. “No… don’t make her do that.”

I downed the rest of my melon Bacardi mixed drink and smiled as I stood from the stool. “Make me do what?” I asked Hunter as I slid away from the countertop.

“Shut up! You, bitch!” Hunter gasped in astonishment, but Winnie only laughed.

Kai saw me approaching before Tiffany did.

He did a really good job at hiding the slight anger in his eyes that lit up when he saw my confident gait. I loved his anger. It looked good on him. Right along with the tight ripped jeans and white shirt.

“Hey, Kai… I thought I saw you over here,” I greeted.

He took a deep breath. He loved the game but he hated that I could play it better. “Jay? Wow, I haven’t seen you in ages. Tiff, babe, this is Jay from work!” He sent her a million-watt smile and gestured to me.

As her eyes took me in, I knew– within that moment– she knew exactly who I was. I became highly aware that I was still wearing his cologne from my endeavors within the closet and that the strong smell of it was oozing off my clothes. It flooded my nostrils and wrapped tentacles around my brain that I knew it must have been doing it to Tiffany as well.

She smiled—softly—regardless. “Nice to meet you.” There was actual sadness in her eyes.

Kai, like the dick he is, did not notice it and gestured to the man that was with them. “This is Harry—but you should know him already, he works with us.” There was a slight panic in his eyes.

Glancing towards the tall man that stood with them, I recognized him as the guy who had previously been singing the haunting melody on stage. His green eyes drank me up and I felt as if we were caught in a dominance battle of who would look away first. I didn’t mind though, he wasn’t bad to look at. Brown curly hair, sharp jaw line, tattoos littering his exposed skin… he was god-like.

I broke first and nodded. “Yeah, of course. I think I’ve seen you around before. We must be in different departments though.” He and I both knew we were not in different departments. And I definitely knew that I hadn’t seen him around before.

Harry raised an eyebrow but said nothing.

I took a deep breath and laid a quick hand on Kai’s arm. “Anyway… I better be going. Nice meeting you, Tiffany.” I quickly excused myself before I could catch their gazes, feeling lingering green eyes trailing my steps as I walked back to the bar. My heart fluttered a bit in my chest.

What the hell was that?

“How did it go?” Winnie asked.

“Well,” I started, waving at the bartender for another drink. “apparently Kai and I are coworkers now.”

Hunter went on about how she almost threw up through that entire confrontation as Winnie argued that there was absolutely no confrontation involved whatsoever. I sat in my uncomfortable stool wondering what the hell was going through my brain and why I felt like Harry’s gaze had left permanent marks.

My phone buzzed in my lap.

It was from Kai.

I am so mad at you but you looked so fucking hot pretending to be my coworker.

My eyebrows furrowed together.

I think I felt guilty.

But then again… maybe not.

“I’m only good at being bad.”

part two

#harry styles #harry styles fanfiction #harry ff #harry styles au #harry styles imagine #fanfiction #when we all fall asleep where do we go #romance #love story #fiction

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purplesurveys · 5 years ago

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684

Have you ever lied to a person of authority? What did you say? I’ve lied to a teacher once or twice, but not anything more severe. Doesn’t matter if it’s a person of authority or not; I just hate lying. What’s your favourite type of pie, either sweet or savoury? I love chicken pot pie lol < Oh gosh yeah dude. Savory pies are the shit. I find that most sweet pies have fruit in them and given that I hate fruits, this is an easy choice for me. Do you have a Netflix subscription? Yeah, we have a family plan that my dad pays for. Have you ever parked in a disabled parking space even if you aren’t disabled? Nope. That sounds awful. How long does it usually take you to get ready in the morning? Depends on how late I’m running. If I started preparing early I can give myself up to an hour but if I’m late as it is, I can take 10 minutes to shower, get dressed, prepare my lunch, and get in the car.

What colour is your favourite shirt? My favorite top at the moment is a multi-colored striped spaghetti strap. If I remember, some of the stripes are white, maroon, olive green, dark blue, etc. When was the last time you saw a photo of yourself? Today. I took a dumb selfie for Angela. Does your laptop ever overheat? It doesn’t overheat but the fan tends to get louder when I do video calls on it, so I never do them on my laptop. Are you wearing a dress today? I am not. I’m up on the rooftop and it’s pretty cold tonight, so I have a large hoodie on, and also a hoodie wrapped around my legs so that I don’t get bitten by mosquitoes. Do you use your phone during class or at work? I use my phone in classes where the profs aren’t as strict. OMG I miss going to class :( How many times a day do you check Facebook? Countless. It’s where everyone hangs out to communicate, or do work, or share announcements, or post memes, so I’m almost always there. Do you hate it when people on airplanes recline the seat in front? No one’s ever done that to me before so I wouldn’t know if it would bother me. Are you the type of person to press a button just because? I would only get the urge if I knew it doesn’t work anymore or if it’s unplugged. I wouldn’t press a button that I know would do something. Would you ever volunteer in the case of a natural disaster? Yeah, but tbh I’m more likely to volunteer for orgs that help out stray animals affected by the disaster, like for PAWS. I know for sure I would have volunteered for them after the Taal eruption, but I couldn’t because our house itself was affected by the ashfall. Do you check your emails daily? NO. I’m definitely not checking them during the lockdown because I want my break to stay a break. Are you inside or outside at the moment? I’m technically ~inside the house but I’m in an outdoors part of it. Why did you last have to see a doctor? I needed to have my left eye checked because it’s been acting up for a while. Have you ever been pulled aside for a random bag search at an airport? Nope. Are you happy with how much you weigh? Sure. I’ve never really paid close attention to my weight and I’ve always been just passively content with it. What’s your favourite flavour of Jell-O? Ughhh I hate any kind of jelly, I find the texture disgusting. I dunno if we have Jell-O here but we have local brands of jelly that I’ve never thought of trying. Do you pick your nose? C’mon, be honest. Yep, but only if I’m by myself or with my girlfriend. What was the last thing you bought from a supermarket? It’s been months, but if I remember correctly it was ice cream that my mom had been craving, and she asked me to buy it because I went out that day. Do you know anyone who is highly allergic to anything? Yeah, Tina is allergic to seafood and Kate is allergic to seafood, chicken, and eggs. When was the last time you had a nap? Just this late afternoon. I fell asleep at 4:30 and woke up for dinner, so I’ll probs be up really late again tonight. Are you hot, cold, or just right at the moment? I was cold earlier but I put a hoodie on so now I’m feeling just right. Do you have a Spotify Premium membership? If not, do you want one? I technically don’t, but Gabie has one and she let me log into her account a long time ago. What’s your boss’ name? I don’t have one. Back in my internship days – again, because this is really my only ~job experience so far lol – the boss’ name was Dessa, but I was under a supervisor named Therese. Have you ever eaten caviar? Yup. Are you a nervous type of person? Yeah, I generally am. Do/did you collect anything currently or in the past? I used to collect receipts from my dates with Gab, but I’ve completely stopped doing that. I keep telling myself on these surveys that I’m gonna start collecting again and it just never happened, so now all there is to say is that I entirely stopped lol. Other than that, I don’t collect anything else. On average, how much money do you usually put into savings every week? Depends on how much is left over by Friday; I don’t have a set amount. The left over from my allowance can be anywhere from P100 to P1,000. Do you prefer sweet or savoury foods? Savoryyyyy. Do you have any games on your computer? Which ones? No, not on my computer. What are your three favourite fruits? I hate fruits. Have you ever received a speeding fine? Nope, I don’t even think that’s grounds for being fined here. I’ve seen people drive like maniacs on highways, and yet they’d get pulled over because they illegally changed lanes or did an illegal u-turn. When was the last time you shaved any part of your body? This evening. Have you ever had a cramp in an odd place? Mmm no, I’ve only gotten cramps where it’s common, like my legs and neck. Would you ever go overseas for cheap medical treatment? No. It doesn’t make sense to me – the airline ticket would bump up how much I would need to spend anyway. The only times I see the sense in traveling abroad for medical reasons would be if the treatment/surgery/medicine/facility is only available in a certain country, or if the best doctor in a certain field is in a different country. How many hours did you sleep last night? 8, I think. Are you good at writing stories? I’ve never been good at writing stories. I liked reading them as a kid, but I never succeeded in writing my own. What have you eaten today? I had eggplant stuffed with meat, fried egg, and fried rice for brunch and Mang Inasal takeout for dinner. Do you watch House of Cards? Nope. I want to try watching it but I feel like it’s too dialogue-y for me. Plus Kevin Spacey is there for like 5 out of 6 seasons I think, which would really ruin the viewing experience lmao. Did anything exciting or interesting happen to you today? Nah not really, much like the last three weeks of the lockdown. What’s your favourite type of fish to eat? Raw tuna. Who else is in the building you’re in right now? My family and dog.

#survey #surveys

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urlocal-loca · 5 years ago

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When we were young

Namjoon x y/n

"When we grow up I'm gonna marry you!"

"R-really?" You asked while wiping the tears on your cheeks. You had been crying because of your classmates who bullied you.

"Yes! So stop crying. We're still 6 years old now but when you turn 18 I'm gonna propose to you and I'm going to protect you always."

"Promise?" You asked.

"Yup. Promise!"

You laughed at the memory. It has been 17 years since Namjoon and You made that promise and you're 23 now. You might have hold on to that promise until you were 18. You rejected all boys who liked you. You-

Your thoughts were interrupted by the ringing of your phone. You picked it up and Namjoon's irritated voice greeted you. "Where the heck are you Y/N?"

"Hello to you too. I'm nearly there can't you wait for 5 minutes?" You couldn't hide the annoyance in your voice. Namjoon had asked you for a favor, to bring his phone to the studio since he forgot it in the dorm and you have the extra key. The phone he's using to call you is Jin's, which he has been using to call you non-stop for the past 5 minutes.

"Tsk. Ok. Just hurry and don't even dare open my phone." He hanged up, leaving you angry and grumpy. He dared 'tsked' me? You angrily thought. And not just that, he also hanged up on you. For someone asking a favor he's awfully arrogant.

Great.

Just great.

You stared at Namjoon's phone at your hand. You already tried to open it but his pass code is unguessable. You tried his birthday, his mom's birthday and heck! You even tried yours and failed. You threw it on the seat beside yours, earning a glare from the driver, and picked it up again.

The cab pulled up in front of the studio. You paid your fare and got out of the car, the cold wind of November greeted you, blowing your hair away from your face gently. You closed your eyes trying to appreciate the weather when you feel a pair of eyes watching you. You pulled your coat tightly around your body and sighed. You can see Rapmon already waiting for you with Jin beside him eating a burger.

You walked up to the gate and smile at the guard and once the guard let you in Namjoon marched up to you and snatched the phone out of your hands.

'Gosh! This ungrateful bastard.' You thought but said nothing. You glared at Namjoon who's checking his phone. "Hello _____-ssi." You looked up to Jin and smiled. "Hi oppa." You replied.

"Come on Hyung! They're waiting for us." The frown appeared once again on your forehead when you heard Namjoon. "Yah. Aren't you gonna say thank you to Y/N?" Jin also frowned at Namjoon, not liking the disrespect he's showing you.

"Thanks," Namjoon turned to you for a quick second then turned to Jin again. "Can we go now?"

Jin threw his arms around you and led you inside the studio. "What are you doing now Hyung?" Jin ignored Namjoon and pulled you to where the rest of the members are. They smiled and greeted you. Jungkook tackled you with a hug. You are his favorite noona after all and he hasn't seen you for days.

"Just finished practicing the new choreo?" You asked while ruffling the maknae's wet hair from sweat. "Yup! Wanna see?" He excitedly pulled your hands but you shook your head no.

"You're tired Kookie. Just rest now and let me see later ok?" You reassured Jungkook when he gave you a disappointed look. He smiled and hug you again. "Now get off me Kookie, you smell."

You saw Namjoon staring daggers at you across the table and you also glared at him. He gave you a last annoyed look before turning to look at his phone again. "Want some?" Jin offered you some chips which you gladly accepted.

You stayed at the studio and helped around. Jungkook happily showed you the new choreography and even teach you some moves. You ate dinner with them and when it was finally time to go home they refused to let you hail a cab.

"_____-ssi it's already dark outside and you can't really trust cab drivers nowadays." Worry evident in J-hope's voice.

"Noona you should listen to Hyung. It's for your own good." Jungkook seconded. You sighed in defeat.

"Rapmon send her home safely." Both you and Namjoon turned to Jin with bewildered look on your faces. "You owe her one for bringing your phone here." Jin sharply said to Namjoon before he could open his mouth to protest. Namjoon silently went to his car and opened the driver's door. He stood there with an irritated look on his face while waiting for you. "Hurry up!" He said.

You hugged each member and Jin gave you a wink before ruffling your hair. You opened the door to the back seat when Namjoon stopped you and motioned you beside him. The annoyed look never left his face. "Don't make me look like a chauffeur." Ugh, men and their prideful ass.

The ride back to your apartment has been silent. Neither of you talked and the 25 minutes inside Namjoon's car seemed like eternity for you. The car stopped in front of your apartment and you got out immediately, desperate to leave the awkward and suffocating ride you shared. You took a deep breath as if you have been deprived of air and its your first time having it.

You looked at Namjoon who once never even turned to look a you. "Thanks for the ride. Bye. Be safe." You said and he just nodded his head before driving off again. You went up to your room and opened the window to the veranda.

You can still see his black car from where you are. As you stare at the black car, a memory pop up to your mind.

It was as if you were back to the past.

Back to your 18th party.

----------------------

Black, the color of darkness. The color that painted the sky when you stubbornly waited for the boy you love for hours despite your parents worried calls.

"Y/N sweetie," you didn't even look at your mom. "Maybe Namjoon is busy. I'm pretty sure he will call you later so why don't you come inside first. You've been here for four hours already. Honey?" You felt your mom's hand on your shoulder.

It's your 18th birthday and your parents held a surprise party for you. You've been dressed up and a lot of your friends and classmates came. They gave you gifts and birthday messages. You were happy and grateful but something- no, someone is making you more excited.

Today is the day Namjoon will ask you to marry him, like what he promised 12 years ago when both of you were still 6 years old. You've been waiting for him since you woke up. Been waiting since he made that promise. You're feeling mixed emotions. Nervous, scared, anxious, happy and excited.

Its been 4 hours, 32 minutes, and 16 seconds when the party ended. All guests already left and traces of the recent party had been already cleaned. You've been waiting outside and your parents are getting angry at your stubbornness. The only reason they allowed you to wait that long is because its your birthday.

You sighed and stood up. You followed your mom inside the house.

You are reminded of the past events when Namjoon started acting cold to you. He won't pick up his phone and won't agree for you to meet up. You ignored it since the comeback of BTS was near and Namjoon must be tired.These thoughts gnawed at your heart, clouding your thoughts. He's not your boyfriend but both of you were more than friends to each other. Your special relationship is unspoken but its there. You both knew that. Or is it only you?

After you took a shower, you lay at your bed not letting yourself to over think. You were thinking of waiting for him to call but seeing that it's already past midnight you decided not to. You pushed any doubts and worries away and closed your eyes. Tomorrow. I'll talk to him tomorrow. You said to yourself and sleep.

You sent a message to Namjoon saying you will wait for him at the cafe you both often go to. You took a cab to get there and waited for him. While waiting for him, you busied yourself and read all messages you received in Facebook. Sending replies to all. You were typing a reply for a friend when someone tap your back. You spun around and came face to face with Jimin. Disappointment was all over your face but you smiled at the younger boy. "Hi Jiminie."

"Noona belated happy birthday! We were planning to go to your house but Namjoon-hyung suddenly announced that he's dating coordinator-noona and we celebrated all night. Sorry we couldn't make it to your birthday." You froze up in your seat. It was like Jimin poured cold water over you. You forced a smile to Jimin and took out your phone. You typed Namjoon's number slowly yet nervously.

After four rings you were greeted by a voice who just woke up. All hope you desperately hold on to shattered. "Hello?" A girl's voice said. You didn't say anything and the girl asked again.

"Is that mine? Who is it?"

Tears streamed down your cheeks. The tears you've been holding back poured out after hearing Namjoon's voice but still you hold on to your phone. " It says Y/N." There was a pause but Namjoon said, "Turn that thing off and come here baby."

You hear the sound of your heart breaking. You can feel the shattering of you heart into little pieces cutting you up inside. The call ended with the giggle of the girl and it also ended your 12 years of waiting for the man you love who didn't love you back.

It was only you who remembered that stupid and childish promise. Only you who kept it. Now that you're realizing how stupid you are to believe in the promise a child made, you laughed. With tears pouring out of your eyes you laughed.

"Noona? Are you ok?" Jimin's voice is panicking. "What's wrong?" You didn't even realize Jimin was still there. You looked at the younger boy and you laughed even more. Jimin looked at you strangely but worry is still on his face. He stretch his arms out to you and you swatted it. Your laugh became hollow and bitter until you stopped laughing completely. You stood up and went out of the cafe.

It was true.

First love never works out.

-------------------

You snapped back to reality and saw that the black car was already out of sight.

"Noona where are you?"

"I'm already here Kookie. Oh! I can see you." You waved at Jungkook and hang up the phone. You parked your car and Jungkook escorted you out. He led you inside the bar filled with bighit staffs and crews. The whole place was rented out for the occasion. You are celebrating with them the success of BTS' new album.

As you approached the table with the other six members, you feel the judging eyes of Namjoon on you. You looked up and saw that you were right. He rolled his eyes away when your eyes met. 'Psh. Childish.' You also rolled your eyes and take the seat beside Jungkook.

After your fourth shot of tequila every face you see is already a blur. You can never really hold your alcohol. You took another glass that the already drunk Yoongi gave you and gulped it down. You laugh and let Taehyung drag you to the dance floor. You waved your hands in the air and jumped up and down, imitating Taehyung's movement.

You danced for about half an hour, Taehyung nowhere to be seen. You are dancing with a crew you can't even remember and things are getting a little risky. His hands roamed around your body, snaking his arms to your waist while his lips touched your neck. You pulled away feeling uncomfortable. You're drunk but you still have your wits. If you want to get laid, it wouldn't be with this man.

You pushed at the crowd, wanting to get away from the heated bodies on the dance floor. You were almost out when you suddenly bumped into someone.

"S-sorry," your hands clutched the man's shirt to steady yourself. You looked up and immediately removed your hands as if you've just been burned. You might be a little drunk and your sight blurry but you will never mistake his hard chest, his strong arms that now gripped yours and his scent. God. You loved the way he smelled. He still uses the same cologne after all these years and you'll recognize this smell wherever you go. "N-namjoon."

You turn away from him, shaking his hands off, and went to the other direction but he grabbed you again by the arm and pulled you towards the table where the other drunk members are. "I'm taking her back to her home." Namjoon announced, raising your arm he is holding. Jin who is still sober nodded and wish you good night.

You were thinking of resisting but saw no point so you dropped it and let Namjoon drag you to his car. He's not drunk. He can hold his alcohol very well, unlike you.

As you sat in the seat beside him you are reminded of the time you were sitting in this same spot last week. Just like before, none dared to speak. After a few minutes- that seemed like ages for you, you close your eyes and let the silence and the cool air lull you to sleep.

You woke up in Namjoon's arms. He's carrying you bridal style and you're already inside your apartment. He carefully opened the door to your room and gently lay you down the bed. You met his eyes and sit down, swaying as you feel your headache growing stronger. You stared at his back as he made his way to the door, ready to leave.

'I still love you.'

Namjoon stayed still, his hands on the door while he look at you with a surprised face. You wanted to run away and jump from the veranda when you realized that you spoke out loud but you remained sitting, thinking of ways to get out of this situation. 'Aaaaargh! I don't care anymore!' You stand up and approached the still statued Namjoon. 'Come what may.'

You kissed him.

You pressed your soft lips to his and trailed butterfly kisses to his cheeks down to his jaw. It's thanks to your stiletto that you can reach this giant named Namjoon. You pulled your head away and stared at him. He stared back at you. You cupped his face with your hand and kissed him again. He stiffened once again but responded. Namjoon kissed you back hungrily, turning your innocent kisses to passionate ones.

Your tongues fought wildly, dancing to the wild rhythm you both share. Both of you are in a desert and you are each other's oasis, hungrily lapping each other up as if there's no tomorrow. Namjoon carried you to the bed, with your legs wrapped around his waist and your mouth still linked, not breaking the kiss. He pulled away and threw you to the bed gently resulting a giggle from you. You watched him undress down to his pants until only his boxer is left. You looked at him with hungry eyes, lust clouding your sight.

He crawled towards you and trailed butterfly kisses to your neck down to your clothed breast. You wore a black string dress which was easy to remove and in seconds you were already naked, your dress and underwear already torn to pieces.

Well, Namjoon wouldn't be Namjoon if he wasn't the God of Destruction.

He took a nipple in his mouth while looking in your eyes. He slowly flicked your already erected nipple with his tongue and you arched your back, offering yourself to him more. "Mmmm," You moaned. "Sh-shit." Namjoon chuckled at your reaction when he took on your left mound and sucked on it while his right hand playing with the other. He kept on playing with your breast while his mouth went lower leaving open mouthed kiss on your belly until he reached your soaked core. He pulled you closer to him by roughly pulling your legs. He left marks and love bites to your inner thigh and without breaking eye contact he kissed your womanhood.

A gasp escaped your mouth as he licked your slit open and flicked your clit, a new wave of pleasure filling you up. You can't help but moan and offer your hips to him more. He dipped his tongue further to your core and you grabbed his hair, feeling impatient. Namjoon thrusted his tongue in and out of you and you just can't help but scream his name in delight.

"F-fuck!" He released your legs after you orgasmed. He licked his lips and smirked at you. The image of him licking your slick instantly made you feel horny again. "I need you Joonie."

"Beg." You felt annoyed seriously but lust was controlling you and you can't make rational decisions. Right now you just want to be filled with Namjoon and you're not letting your pride ruin this moment.

You can't. "Please. Plea- aargh! Just fuck me already Namjoon! I fucking need to be fucked by you." You were already whimpering and you pressed your legs together, trying to relieve yourself somehow.

"Haha language honey." He pulled out his member out of his boxer and position himself at your entrance. He teased your slit with his tip but stopped when you cursed at him, smirking at your impatience. He thrusted into you and the both of you instantly found rhythm together.

"Fuck ________!" Namjoon growled to your ear. His pace became faster and your moans filled the room together with the slapping of your skins. You both screamed when you reached your orgasms. He stayed still, pumping his seeds inside you, then fell at your side.

Both of you fell asleep like that and you woke up the next day with a horrible headache. You sat up and saw that no one was beside you. Was that all just a dream?

You washed up and went to your kitchen to make breakfast. When you were about to turn, you were surprised to see Namjoon holding two cups of coffee. "Uhh... hey?" You are taken aback so it came out like a question more than a greeting. This is gonna be so awkward.

"Hey. Coffee?" Namjoon raised the other glass and offered it to you which you graciously accepted. You both seated yourselves at the small dining table and said nothing. Just sipping on your coffees and awkwardly waiting for the other to say something.

Your eyes roamed everywhere but the person in front of you. You didn't dare look at him afraid that you might say something you'd regret. "Uhh," He was the one who decided to break the silence. "Can we talk?"

"Do they know you're here?" You quietly asked, wanting to change the topic. You know that this will happen. It was inevitable. You just didn't know that it would come a lot sooner than expected and you're still not ready. You imagined this scene a lot, you and him talking about the past, you confronting him about how useless and pathetic he made you feel and in every scenario you win and had the last word but now that it's become reality, you wanted to avoid it. Ironic.

"I'm sorry."

You stopped for a moment and looked at him. You feel your heart tightened and it felt like a big lump found itself in your throat. "W-what?" Tears started to well on your eyes. "You're sorry? For what? For making a fool out of me? For making me feel that I was special, that I was loved? For telling that stupid promise and leaving me to expect you to keep it? Huh?! What are you sorry for?"

You were uncontrollably sobbing now. Adrenaline was coursing through your blood. The bottled emotions you kept are now out in the open. You wanted to say more but words won't come out and you cried more. Namjoon stood up and kneeled beside you. He reached for your face and you slapped his hand away. "Don't touch me!" You didn't like feeling vulnerable specially in front of the person you love. Yes, you still love him. Then and now, he was the only one who occupied your heart. You tried to have boyfriends in the past but all of those relationships didn't work out. You've never really escaped Namjoon's grasp. You are a prisoner of his love.

"For everything. I'm sorry for everything _______," You screamed at him and pushed him back but he still stayed beside you, not even flinching even when you keep on hitting him. He caught your arms and kissed your knuckles. "I was there at your 18th birthday. I was planning to give this to you." He reached inside his pocket and brought out a silver ring. Tears streamed down your face and your sobs became louder.

"Our coordinator in the past found out about you and threatened to tell us to the company. She also threatened your safety so I couldn't do anything. We pretended to be a couple but we broke up after a week. I told the members everything and the hated me for it. We saw how it broke your heart so they prevented me to go back to you." He wiped a tear from your cheek with his thumb and pulled your chair closer so he can cup your face. "It hurt me to be separated from you. I kept watch on you to keep you from harm. I saw you with your boyfriends and it hurts to see you move on while I was still stuck on that day. I still love you ______." Namjoon's voice cracked and a tear fell from his eye.

"Why didn't you tell me? We could have solved it together." You touched your forehead with his. "We wasted a lot of time Joon. A lot of fucking time."

You stayed like that with your eyes closed. None of you spoke for a minute, absorbing the things that happened. Reassuring yourselves that this isn't just a dream.

"Are you up for a second chance?" He smiled at you and you can't help but smile also. "Are you?" You replied. He pressed his lips to yours for a gentle kiss. He kissed you slowly, holding you like you were the most precious thing in the world. He lifted you up to the table and you wrapped your legs around him. He broke the kiss and took out the ring.

"______ I can't promise the things I can't do but I'm certain that I will protect you. I'm going to make sure that your smile will never ever leave you. I'm going to tell you every problem we will encounter so we could solve it together. I love you and I want to spend this life with you. Will you please marry me?"

You imagined your proposal to be in a beach or rooftop with the sun slowly setting instead of your small apartment with dishes still on the sink. Roses and candles would be scattered on the floor and you'll be wearing a white dress not in your oversized favorite shirt, doning a messy and just-woke-up hair but nevertheless, nothing seemed more perfect. As long as it's Namjoon, the man you've been in love with all your life, same man you'll be willing to give your soul to, it would be your ideal proposal.

"Yes."

Namjoon's dimple appeared when he smiled. He kissed you again but more passionately. He carried you to your bed and gently laid you there with a naughty smile on.

"Round two?"

"Round two."

Marrying an idol will never be easy but you two are together now, and nothing and no-one could ever separate you again.

#BTS #namjoon #rapmon #bangtan #jin #jungkook #jhope #suga #jimin #taehyung

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zealynstan · 5 years ago

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Northshore 104.9 Interview Transcript

Unfortunately, I do not know the names of the interviewers so I figured I labeled it as Interviewer1 and so forth.

Interviewer1: ...A local artist spotlight coming up but really, we've got quite a local artist spotlight going on right now! Because we have Beverly's own Angie Miller in the studio, also known as Zealyn but we all know her as Angie.

Zealyn: Hello.

Interviewer2: Hi Angie!

Interviewer1: Hello! And also we have this on Facebook Live right now so if you happened to be in the office and you would like to also, you know, uhh... see Angie here in the studio and see what goes on behind the scenes.

Zealyn: See all your beautiful faces.

Interviewer2: Aww.

Interviewer1: You are so sweet. Yeah.

Interviewer2: So welcome! Welcome back to the Northshore.

Zealyn: Thank you.

Interviewer2: You're out in California now, right?

Zealyn: Yup, yup, lived in California for the past few years now and just umm... get out here as often as I can.

Interviewer2: Oh, that's a good answer. I would never come back.

Zealyn: I mean- Well-

Interviewer1: I mean, her mom, you see her mom, you know, your family's here, Tana's here. So yeah, and your brother.

Zealyn: Yup, yes, definitely to see family is would...

[video got cut off for some reason]

Zealyn:... And other things. Mainly family. Yeah.

Interviewer1: Of course! So, you are out on tour because you just released a new EP called A Weekend in Maine.

Zealyn: Mhm.

Interviewer1: And you're going to be doing music from that and your other hits as well tomorrow night at The Cabot, Beverly.

Zealyn: I am, yeah.

Interviewer1: I mean- Angie from Beverly at The Cabot in Beverly-

Interviewer3: How cool is that? So cool.

Interviewer1: I know. And local people opening for you as well, right?

Zealyn: Yeah, yeah. Danny Godwin and Miette Hope. She went to Berkley and now she's living in New York. But they both have lived here, still lived here and... incredible musicians. But umm... yeah, A Weekend in Maine released in just like three weeks ago and this is the tour for the EP and it's been so fun singing all the songs live.

Interviewer3: Excellent. And you wrote all these?

Zealyn: Yeah, yeah.

Interviewer3: Wow!

Zealyn: I wrote them all umm... some with co-writes like other people I loved constantly in LA, I'm just writing with new people and working with producers and just trying to stay creative as possible and find a new sound, you know, something that people haven't heard before.

Interviewer2: Now, if you don't mind, can we flashback for just a minute?

Zealyn: Ah, yeah. Of course.

Interviewer2: So you're a local girl, there's- we have tons of local people who loved to sing, who loved to perform-

Zealyn: Sure, yeah.

Interviewer2: Hopefully I think, want to make it big someday so, can you like just quickly like, what made you want to get into this? And what made you want to go, "American Idol, maybe I have a shot at that"?

Zealyn: Well, I always grew up singing, it was always like the first love of mine uhh... and I think about the age... 10 or 11- I forget the age but I remember watching an episode of American Idol when I was a little girl. And I was like, "Oh my gosh, I wanna be on the show one day." like, "I wanna be on American Idol."

Interviewer2: Wow!

Interviewer3: That's so cool. I got chills.

Zealyn: Oh yeah. It was just like one of those things that I said as a girl and my mom and I would watch it every single year, we'd vote for our fave- the whole thing.

Interviewer2: You really got into it. Watch parties, the whole night.

Zealyn: We got into it. Fully.

Interviewer3: Her mom and I did the same thing. It was such a good thing for like a mother and daughter to do and get excited about.

Zealyn: Yeah. Watch parties as in, just me and my mom with some popcorn and- yeah. *laughs*

Interviewer1: And candies.

Interviewer2: But, I just think that it's incredible because it's not impossible. You know what I mean like-

Zealyn: Yeah.

Interviewer2: You're a local girl; you're from Beverly, Massachusetts, like anyone in this area who thinks they wanna do something in the singing or performing industry. It's durable, you did it and it's like, "Don't give up on it." You know what I mean?

Zealyn: Well thanks. I mean, definitely, even after the show, I realized I knew absolutely nothing about the music industry. The industry is like crazy, it's hardcore. So much different than I thought it was.

Interviewer2: I've been in the radio industry (for) 6 years and I know nothing either. It's amazing I can push a button.

Zealyn: We just pull it off. We're making up as we go.

Interviewer1: So you make it through, I mean, I can't even imagine- I mean, we can only imagine from watching the show, what the process is like and you make it through the finals in season 12.

Zealyn: Yes.

Interviewer1: When you look back on it, is it almost seem surreal in a way?

Zealyn: Totally. In one hand, it feels like it was yesterday and like, "oh cool" and the other hand, it feels like it was another life. Like, it doesn't feel like that was me. I looked different, acted different. I was 18, you know? So it definitely feels like another lifetime ago but yeah, everything that you've seen on tv if it looks dramatic or if it looks intense, it's 10 times more than that.

Interviewer3: Really?

Zealyn: Yeah. It's like- it's a grueling process, not just for me, for the whole family. It took a toll- it takes a toll on your physical health and mental- I mean, yeah, it's quite the-

Interviewer1: So you came in third right?

Zealyn: Third, yes.

Interviwer1: Okay. So, you're on that final show?

Zealyn: Yeah, yeah. We were there til' the end. The whole process altogether from audition to the end of the tour was almost 2 years.

Interviewer1: Wow!

Zealyn: Yeah.

Interviewer1: Wow. I had no idea it was that length of time.

Zealyn: Yeah. It takes a- the audition process is six months itself and-

Interviewer3: And you go on tour with them. With the top ten?

Zealyn: Yeah. We went on tour with the top ten for 2 months but there was a whole month of rehearsals, it's a long process. That's why I- I was choosing between college or American Idol and I knew that if I did American Idol and it worked out, I was like, "Man, that would take up a lot of time." Maybe I should just be safe and go to college or... Yeah. Umm... But then it worked out.

Interviewer3: And there you are! And when did you come from- go from Angie Miller to then Zealyn? How long ago was that change?

Zealyn: Yeah, so I released an EP under Angie Miller and that's when I actually played at the Cabot last time I played all those songs. And it's still- I mean- When you're 18 and thrown on national tv and they're saying, "who are you? who are you? what's your sound?" you don't know anything. Like, I didn't know anything. So American Idol in a way created me. It chose my sound for me and my look and it chose the way I was gonna act and be perceived by America. So they did it all for me, they created Angie Miller and I just, I couldn't stand it. And I just kinda wanted to be me and it's funny that changing my name made me feel more like me. No, I didn't change it legally or anything.

Interviewer2: Yeah!

Interviewer1: Right. By using your performance name-stage name and performing.

Zealyn: Yes. It feels more genuine, it feels more- that's why- there are a few fans who are like, "Why would you not go by Angie?" but I wish people would just know and if people are listening and didn't know I went by Zealyn like, it's me. I'm Angie. It's just a stage name.

Interviewer2: Right!

Interviewer3: Mhm.

Interviewer1: But I do get what you're saying that you know-

Interviewer2: Fully.

Interviewer1: Becuase you had to obviously, use your real name on American Idol and you know, when you're talking about the fact that they- because they knew everything about you. And how do you go back to you?

Zealyn: Right.

Interviewer1: Yeah. I think it is hard.

Zealyn: Yeah, and it took- I think it was 2016 or 2015 was the year that I decided to just start creating music and thinking of changing my stage name and it was really really hard to find a name to replace your name like it's the weirdest process.

Interviewer3: Oh yeah.

Zealyn: Umm... Zealyn was the first name that I felt peace about and it felt like I could say, "Hey, my name is Zealyn." and it felt right. But yeah, Zealyn was my way of getting back to my genuine self. *laughs* Yeah.

Interviewer3: That's amazing.

Interviewer2: I love it.

Interviewer1: I love that story. So, we have a little clip of one of your new songs.

Zealyn: Yay.

Interviewer1: So, what was the title of this song?

Zealyn: This song is called Airline Wine. I umm...

Interviewer2: Very catchy. Did you help her write this?

*Interviewer3 shakes her head*

Zealyn: I went to Europe for the first time last year and umm... I had a writing session and one of the first days I was there, I was so jetlagged and I did not know what to write about. And my- yeah.

Interviewer3: I love them. I absolutely loved them.

Zealyn: And my friend who I was with had one of those little airline wine bottles.

Interivewer2: Wine cooler.

Interviewer1: Yeah, and they- I mean they come in these little mini bottles.

Zealyn: Little plastic- yeah. And she was like, "Why don't you write a song called Airline Wine?" and it totally is a joke.

Interviewer1: And you're like, "Whoa."

Zealyn: And I'm like, "Wait a second, that's kinda catchy."

Interviewer1: Alright, let's listen to a little bit of it.

*Airline Wine starts playing*

Interviewer2: Ooh, I like that.

Interviewer3: That was beautiful.

Interviewer2: Get her on the house party.

Interviewer1: Oh yeah.

Interviewer3: Absolutely.

Interviewer2: I don't know about you but I want a glass of wine now.

Interviewer1: And so this is on your new EP that is called A Weekend in Maine and it was released a few weeks ago. And you'll be performing all kinds of great music tomorrow night at the Cabot in Beverly.

Zealyn: Oh yeah. Yeah, I released two EPs under Zealyn so I'll be releasing from both those- I'll be playing a lot of music from both those EPs as well as some of the classic covers and songs that people would recognize from American Idol umm... Yeah. Just kind of doing it all.

Interviewer1: So sounds fun tomorrow night.

Interviewer2: That's right. So-

Interviewer3: A Weekend in Maine, I love that name.

Interviewer2: I love that name too! That's where all my weekends are spent with the kids. It's really just cool.

Zealyn: Same same yeah. A lot of memories.

Interviewer2: Where in Maine?

Zealyn: *to her mom* Do you remember exactly where?

Tana: Madison, Embden.

Zealyn: Madison, Embden?

Interviewer2: Okay. I was thinking of the Naples bridge, Denario.

Zealyn: Okay. I was just a little kid. I didn't pay attention to where it was.

Interviewer2: No, you're just happy to be here. Right? Running around.

Interviewer1: You're having a good time.

Zealyn: Just Maine, I loved it.

Interviewer2: So we're speaking to Zealyn a.k.a. Angie Miller as we all know her from here on the Northshore and we gotta wrap it up. We're really running late but just any final words to anyone who wants to pursue music?

Zealyn: Oh man, just love it. Enjoy the process. If you're not enjoying it, it's not worth it. But yeah just umm... don't listen to what everyone else is doing, create your own sound. Be you. Could be creative, surround yourself with creative people, I mean, yeah. You gotta enjoy it in order to last in the industry for sure.

Interviewer2: That's awesome.

Interviewer3: I love it.

Interviewer1: So let's give away a pair of tickets right now to see tomorrow night. The show starts at 8, you've got a couple of opening acts and then, Angie Miller a.k.a. Zealyn at the Cabot theater. If you are free to go, this is tomorrow night, starts at 8, call our line right now.

Interviewer3: Okay, give us a call at 1-800-370-1049. Again 1-800-370-1049, the tickets can be yours. Go see Zealyn. Angie Miller at the Cabot in Beverly tomorrow night. 1-800-370-1049.

Interviewer1: Okay. Call now to win. And this is what's in store for tomorrow night at the Cabot.

Interviewer2: Thank you so much, Angie.

Interviewer3: Thank you, Angie.

Zealyn: Thank you.

#Zealyn #Transcript #Interview #radio interview #northshore radio #2019 #Angie Miller #A Weekend in Maine #my post

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linzerj · 6 years ago

Text

Golden Gate’s Heroes

(Hey ya’ll it’s that Venom/Ant-Man crossover fic I promised. It’ll have a few more chapters and maybe I’ll even figure out a real plot for it eventually. The AO3 link will be in the notes.)

---

Scott has got to learn to pay attention to schedules. Or maybe he just needs better friends. Actually, no, it’s probably a combination of those two factors that has led him to his current situation.

“Aw, are you sure you can’t come to babysit Cassie? No, I know it’s last minute, but – well, no, I’m sure I’ll figure something else out. Thanks anyway, Mrs. C.” Scott hung up the phone, then put his head in his hands with a groan.

“Are you sure I can’t just come with you, Daddy?” Cassie asked, bringing him out of his funk. “I can just sit in the lobby and play games on my phone. Or I can even sit in the car!”

“No, Peanut, that’s not fair to you,” Scott said, sinking off the couch to sit next to his daughter on the floor. “It’s my fault that I forgot about this big meeting we’re having. But your mom and Paxton are out of town for the week so I can’t just drop you back off, all the usual babysitters and even the emergency babysitters are all busy, and obviously Luis can’t watch you because he’ll be with me, and then Hope and Hank and Janet are out in NYC trying to not kill Tony Stark as they hash out new Accords amendments now that Jan is back, and….” Scott trailed off with a groan.

“I’m eleven now, daddy. I’m almost twelve! Did you know that when you’re twelve, you can legally stay home alone?”

“Oh really?”

“Well, that’s what the teacher said when she was offering everyone who was already twelve to come take a babysitting course!” Cassie beamed. “I’m almost there, just another three months!”

“Yeah, well, I don’t know if that would fly with Agent Woo, remember him?” They both shuddered overdramatically, before Cassie sighed.

“I know, daddy. Sorry again.”

“And again, not your fault Peanut, that’s all on me.” Scott grabbed his cell phone again and began scrolling through his contacts list. “I mean, I haven’t called everyone yet,” he narrated when Cassie peered over his shoulder. “Maybe we can find someone on this list who I know that can watch you for 2, 3 hours tops.”

And that’s when Scott saw it, a name he forgot he had in his phone, certain he had deleted it or lost it when he got his new cell. They’d hit it off at an interview before he’d had to go to prison for his big heist, and hadn’t really talked at all since then. It was such a long shot, but everyone else in his contacts had either already said no or lived way too far to make it in time or were Avengers that were doing who-knows-what. There were probably other options in his phone, but, well, it never hurt to try, so.

Holding his breath, he called Eddie Brock.

Eddie’s phone rang while he was scrolling through his Facebook feed in a half-asleep daze. Venom perked up a bit at the unknown number – they loved to take over and scare any telemarketers that called, which was why Eddie rarely answered unknown numbers anymore.

But this one looked – not too familiar, but it had a legit San Francisco area code, and something about those last four digits was ringing some sort of distant bells. So with a shrug, Eddie answered.

“H’llo?” he said through a mouth of Fruit Loops.

“Uh, hey, is this uh, is this still Eddie Brock?” the caller asked. Eddie swallowed his food, ignoring Venom as he manifested a head and started munching on the rest of the cereal, and studied the number with a confused glance for a second. The voice sounded sort of familiar, but it was not immediately recognizable, and Eddie wasn’t sure who would have his number that was unsure if it was him – he’d lost most of his old contacts when he’d broken his old phone, but he’d reprogrammed in all the numbers of important people or people he talked to daily, like Anne and his boss.

“Yeeeeah, who is this?” he finally said after realizing that the guy on the other end of the line was probably wondering what the hell was taking him so long to respond.

“I don’t know if you remember me, but uh, this is Scott Lang.”

And that made everything click into place. “Oh! Yeah, the engineer who broke into that CEO’s house and stole all the money that he’d been stealing! Yeah, how you been, dude? You’re out of jail I see – probably been out a while by now, actually, huh. What, uh, what’s up?”

“Okay so, this is going to sound super weird and I know we don’t know each other very well but you seemed like a cool dude and whatever, and even after all that LIFE Foundation stuff you still seem really awesome, but uh, anyway. I’ve got a daughter, right, but I’m an idiot and forgot to get a babysitter for like three hours while I go do this interview for my new business, and all my other regulars are busy because the universe is awful, and uh, if it’s not too much trouble and you’re willing to do it, I was wondering if you could, uh… just… watch her for like, two or three hours? Please?”

Scott rushed this all out in one breath, and it took Eddie a moment to process it. Some dude he’d interviewed once nearly 6 years ago was asking him to babysit his kid? Venom offered no insight to his problem, focusing on slurping up the remnants of their cereal.

“I’ll definitely pay you, too, and when I’m done I’d be totally down to hang out too, I mean, if you wanted to, I mean, oh god what am I even saying-”

“Yeah sure.”

On the other end of the line, Scott paused. “Really?”

“Sure,” Eddie said again, pushing Venom’s annoying face away as they leaned in closer. “I’m free, got nothing better to do, and you sound super stressed out man, and kids aren’t so bad. Plus I still totally respect you for that heist and exposing that scumbag, even if it was a one-time thing or whatever, so. Yeah.”

“Oh thank you thank you! I’ll give you my address, can you get here – ohhh boy, just, whenever you can? I gotta run ASAP man.”

“Not a problem,” Eddie replied, jotting down the address and grabbing his keys. “See you in a bit.”

Eddie, Venom said as Eddie plugged the address into his phone and started down the stairs of his building, what is ‘babysitting’? Why would we sit on a baby?

“Oh, uh, that’s not – we’re not literally sitting on a baby, love. We just go and watch a child, oh gosh how old even is this kid, oh boy. Well uh, we basically make sure she doesn’t die while her parents aren’t home, and then we get paid money for it.”

Hmm. Humans are weird.

---

Eddie arrived about five minutes after getting the call. He may have sped a little bit, but he wasn’t pulled over or anything, so it was fine.

Knocking on the door revealed Scott, dressed in a suit, smoothing down his hair and obviously trying not to look too flustered. “Okay, hi, Eddie, hi, I’m Scott, I’m sure you figured that out,” he said, extending his hand. Eddie took it and shook it briefly as Scott continued on. “So Cassie is pretty chill, man, don’t worry about a thing, there’s chicken nuggets in the fridge for you guys to eat and you can also have whatever else you want, and don’t worry about feeding Charlie Ben-Ant-e – wait – Cassie where’s Charlie Ben-Ant-e?!”

“Uhhhh… I don’t see him Daddy!” Eddie heard a girl call. She appeared in the doorway, and Eddie supposed this must be Cassie. She looked between ten and twelve, which, okay, that was definitely manageable. “But I’m sure it’ll be fine, he usually doesn’t start his routine for a while anyway.”

“Okay so don’t worry about Charlie Ben-Ant-e at all then,” Scott said to Eddie. “Also this is Cassie, Cassie this is Eddie, thank you again for watching her so last minute for me like this man, I really really owe you one, but I gotta go, bye Cassie be good-” Scott kissed his daughter on the head – “thanks again Eddie, I’ll see you in a few hours!” And Scott was off, running down the road to what Eddie supposed was his car. Well, then.

Eddie turned to Cassie who was looking at him intently. “Uh,” he said. He stepped inside and closed the door behind him. She was still watching him. “Uh, hi.”

“Hi,” she said, still studying him, before grinning up at him and asking, “So you interviewed my Daddy before?”

“Oh, uh, yeah, back when, you know, he was arrested and whatever.” Eddie mentally smacked himself. That is probably not what you should say to kids.

But Cassie surprised him. “Yeah, he’s my hero,” she told him. “I think it was good that he tried to get that money back to the people it belonged to, even if he didn’t do it the right way. But he tried! And when I got to see him again after he got out of jail, I got him this trophy to show him how much I loved him!” And she triumphantly held up a cheap trophy.

“World’s Greatest Grandma?” Eddie asked, squinting at the writing on it. Cassie looked at the trophy then giggled.

“Yeah, it was the only one they had left, but now it’s like our secret joke,” she told him.

Eddie I like this child, Venom said, and Eddie couldn’t help but agree.

---

Eddie was cool, Cassie decided, even if she heard him muttering to himself every now and then when he thought she couldn’t hear. Maybe he was like some of her friends from school, who talked to themselves to keep on track or reassure themselves. There was nothing wrong with that, and she didn’t want to make him feel bad about himself by pointing it out.

But he was pretty funny too. He told her stories about being a reporter, and made lots of jokes like her dad, and grinned when he munched down on some chocolate with her. He asked her questions too, about what she liked and wanted to do, and when she said that maybe she would be famous someday he chuckled and said that she should think of all his questions as a practice interview. She wouldn’t mind having him as a babysitter again, she decided.

But that’s when Charlie Ben-Ant-e decided to make an appearance.

Her daddy had named the ant after a drummer whose name allowed for the ant pun of all his favorite ants. This was the same ant that had fooled the FBI when her dad had to help Hope and Mr. Pym stop the Ghost and save Hope’s mom.

Cassie had been told to keep the giant pet ants a secret from her friends, because people didn’t usually like ants anyway, and the giant ants were kind of scary. Cassie thought they were cute and that those people were dummies, but whatever. Her pet ant Ant-ony Junior lived with her and her mom and Jim Paxton, and it had learned to be very good about hiding when she or the grownups had friends over.

But Charlie Ben-Ant-e had not yet learned this. It still liked to stick to its usual routine, which was why her dad only had over his friends who knew he was Ant-Man, or had other people over when Charlie was sleeping.

So, sure, when Scott had left, Charlie hadn’t been around. That wasn’t unusual – lately he’d taken to wandering the backyard, or napping under beds. But of course, he was still a creature of habit, especially when it came to his food, and the meeting seemed to be running a little longer than expected.

So when Cassie went into the kitchen to grab chocolate milk for her and Eddie, she almost jumped when she saw Charlie Ben-Ant-e. He was scuffling at the fridge door, and Cassie rushed over to grab his designated food from the cabinet instead.

“Here, Charlie,” she said, filling his food bowl more than she should have, but hoping it would distract him long enough for her dad to come home and Eddie to leave. She liked Eddie, and she didn’t want this to scare him away. That would suck.

She grabbed the chocolate milk and some cups and ran back into the living room, where Eddie was looking past her toward the kitchen with curiosity.

“I was just feeding Charlie Ben-Ant-e,” Cassie explained before Eddie could ask. “Hopefully he won’t bother us.”

“That’s okay,” Eddie said. “Is he like, your dog? Cat?”

“Uh, yep!” Eddie totally didn’t believe her, but he shrugged and let it go.

So they sat for a while, sipping their chocolate milk and watching Phineas and Ferb reruns, when Charlie Ben-Ant-e decided to scuttle on by and head toward the electronic drum set.

“Uh,” Eddie said, eyes wide as he did a double take. “Uh, what…. is that Charlie Ben-Ant-e?”

Cassie grinned guiltily, and shrugged, trying her best to look innocent. “Maaaaybe…”

Eddie was still watching as the ant put on the headset and started drumming. “Ben-Ant-e,” he repeated, “Ben-Ant-e. Well. That. That explains the name pun, I guess.”

Cassie looked up at him, slightly concerned. “Are you… going to run away? Or call the police? Please don’t,” she added as an afterthought. “He’s really harmless. We trained him to play the drums!”

“I’m more… confused,” Eddie said slowly, eyes still on the ant. “How did – what – like, how does he exist? And no,” Eddie continued, whispering to himself, “we cannot eat it, stop it Vee.”

And Cassie blurted, “I’ll tell you how we have him if you tell me who Vee is that you’re talking too.”

“Uh,” said Eddie, and then her dad decided that this was the time to come home.

“Uh,” said Scott, eyes going from Eddie to Cassie to Charlie Ben-Ant-e back to Cassie then back to Eddie. “Uh.”

“Uh,” Eddie said again. Cassie decided that sometimes grown men were idiots.

“My dad is Ant-Man,” Cassie blurted, because there was too much tension now and she couldn’t stand it.

“Cassie!” her dad hissed, and she guessed he was upset that she told his secret identity. But what else was she supposed to do? Eddie had already seen Charlie Ben-Ant-e, and he wasn’t running off screaming yet, so maybe he could be a friend.

“What? Oh, okay, that’s, okay,” Eddie said. “So, uh, you were at that airport battle during that Avengers thing, that was crazy, I did a report on that, but uh, are you like an official Avenger then?”

“You’re taking this way better than some people, but whyyyyy does that matter?” Scott shot back, recovering from Cassie’s betrayal. Cassie was curious too, but Eddie did say he was a reporter, so maybe it was his natural reporter curiosity.

“Well, uh, um, uh, I don’t know if you heard about the uh, shhh, the whole LIFE Foundation rocket and human testing thing just a few months ago?”

“Yeaaahhhhhh, what does that have to do with anything?”

“So, they, uh, they had actually brought back these alien symbiotes and were experimenting with them using people, and well, uh, oh god Vee, listen one of the aliens may or may not be a friend but you won’t arrest us for that right?”

“Dude I don’t think I have jurisdiction to arrest you anyway, but I mean, like, what is even going on.”

“Oh god,” Eddie said again, and that’s when a weird black slime tentacle thing branched out of his shoulder, which formed a head with white eyes and very sharp teeth.

“Hello,” it said, and Eddie put his head in his hands.

“What the he-e-eck,” Scott said, stumbling backwards.

The black goo thing sprouting from Eddie grinned. “We are Venom,” it – they? – explained.

Cassie thought that Venom looked kind of cute in a weird way, and so she voiced her thoughts. “You’re kinda cute, in a weird way.”

Venom swung its head toward her, a long tongue sticking out of its mouth. “Cute? Eddie, tell the child we are not cute! We strike fear into bad guys!”

“I mean you are kinda cute when you’re just a floating head, Vee,” Eddie said, seeming to have overcome the shock of everything going on. Venom turned back to Eddie with a look of betrayal, and Cassie thought that they must be inside Eddie’s head or something because Eddie rolled his eyes at an unspoken jab and muttered, “yes you are you drama queen.”

“Okay, okay, let’s back up for a minute, yeah?” Scott said, holding up his hands. “Maybe let’s try this again. Hi, I’m Scott Lang, that’s my daughter Cassie, I’m also Ant-Man though that’s usually only when Hank really needs me right now, and we may have used our grow and shrink technology to make a very big ant named Charlie Ben-Ant-e that plays the drums and acted as a decoy for me when I was on house arrest. Your turn.”

Eddie blinked. “Well, uh. I’m Eddie Brock, and this is Venom but I call them Vee, and together we are also Venom. We met after I was disgraced for trying to expose Carlton Drake after Drake’s rocket crashed and brought their race here, and then LIFE was doing all sorts of unethical experiments on symbiotes and humans, but I broke in and we accidentally bonded and then we went out and beat up Drake and another evil symbiote and maybe ate some people at one point, and now we just try and keep to ourselves except for some occasional late night runs where we, uh, well.” Eddie paused, looking at Cassie with what she thinks is concern and nervousness.

“We eat the heads of bad guys,” Venom said plainly, and yeah, Cassie could see why Eddie didn’t want to say that out loud.

“You eat people?!” Scott cried. Eddie winced.

“Only bad guys!” he emphasized. “Plus, look, Vee needs some compound from humans, one that’s especially abundant in brains, in order to live or else they’ll start eating my organs and then we’ll both die and that’s not that fun.”

“Phenethylamine,” Venom added, “is what we need. It is also found in chocolate and there are supplements but they aren’t as good as fresh stuff. It is in many animal brains as well, such as the rats and raccoons and even deer we sometimes eat, but we feel that it is not bad to eat other bad people who would be released from prison, free to hurt more people again.”

“So you’re trying to be a hero too?” Cassie asked.

“Sure, yes, we are,” Eddie and Venom said together, and Cassie found that a little creepy but also super cool.

“Well,” her dad said, “that, uh. Sure is something. What the hell are the odds that two superheroes meet because one asked the other to babysit his daughter?”

“Like zero,” Eddie replied. Then: “Seriously though you won’t tell anyone right?”

Scott opened his mouth, then closed it, then opened it again. “Well. I mean. You could always tell them yourself?”

Eddie leveled a very unimpressed stare at her dad, and Cassie couldn’t help but ask, “You want to tell Hope and her parents, daddy?”

“And maybe whatever’s left of the Avengers,” Scott admitted. “Not that I don’t believe you or trust you or anything! But like, more as a… like, you could join us? That’d be cool, right?”

Eddie blinked, and it’s Venom who answered. “We will…think about it,” they said. “For now, we would appreciate if you tell no one, or we might eat your head.”

“Please don’t eat my daddy’s head,” Cassie said at the same time Eddie shouted, “No, Vee, we aren’t eating a hero’s head!” They shared a look, and Eddie continued, “Cassie would be very sad if you ate her dad’s head.”

“Oh. That’s not good. We like Cassie,” Venom said with a bit of a purr, and Cassie giggled.

“Well,” Scott said, “thanks for, for not eating my brain I guess. And, hey, you have my number – let me know if you ever want to do that hero meet-and-greet thing, I’m serious.”

“Sure, I mean, like we said, we’ll think about it,” Eddie replied.

“Yeah, cool, cool, man. I guess, uh. I guess I’ll see you around?”

Eddie and Venom grinned. “Sure,” was the simple reply.

“Great,” Scott said. He looked back to Cassie and then back to Eddie. “And uh, if you’re okay with it – I mean – I’d be okay with you babysitting Cassie still, I mean only if you want to…”

Eddie cut Scott off with a laugh. “Sure, man, we’d love to. See you around, man; bye, Cassie!”

And Cassie watched, still fascinated, as Venom melded back into Eddie and they walked out toward their motorcycle before driving away.

“He was like, the best babysitter ever daddy,” Cassie proclaimed, grinning up at her dad. “I liked him, and Venom too!”

“He certainly was….something,” Scott replied, scratching the back of his neck. “And I’m sure we’ll see him again, sweetie. Now, should we get Charlie Ben-Ant-e some more food or what?”

#venom #ant man #scott lang #eddie brock #cassie lang #venom 2018 #venom movie #ant man and the wasp #antman #crossover #fanfiction #my writing #they're a bunch of idiots #and they're going to be great friends #check the notes for the reblog with the ao3 link

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starchild--27 · 5 years ago

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85 questions

I was tagged by @kafkascupcake . This will be fun, so thanks ^^

rules: answer 85 statements about yourself, then tag 20 people

last

1. drink – water with lemon flavour

2. phone call - my hair dresser (if i ignore the fact that i accidently called my dad a few momnets ago when i wanted to look up my last phone call - ofc this had to happen xD)

3. text message - i told some kid from my spanish class tht we didn’t have spanish class last week

4. song you listened to – Californiacation by Red Hot Chili Peppers

5. time you cried - three days ago i think, but i waas at the verge of crying yesterday evening

6. dated someone twice? – nope. i never dated anyone

7. kissed someone and regretted it – nope

8. been cheated on – no

9. lost someone special – i’m so grateful to say that i never lost anyone in my life and i am so afraid of the day this will happen to me

10. been depressed - kind of. i have my depressed moments but everyone has at some point

11. gotten drunk and thrown up – never, i’m not drinking much

fave colours

12. navy blue

13. black

14. metallic shades of basically every colour

in the last year have you…

15. made new friends – i’m always careful with the word friend when it comes to my real life, but let’s say i got to know some people better that have been around for a longer time but i never really interacted with. on the internet things are a little different, so i can say i’ve interacted with a lot of people here and i can’t help but treat them as friends

16. fallen out of love – not in the last year

17. laughed until you cried - multiple times xD

18. found out someone was talking about you – i really don’t know and i hate that i can’t say this wouldn’t bother me because i really want to know what people think of me - just to be able to understand why they treat me how they do.

19. met someone who changed you - oh, i really don’t know. i think i didn’t change that much in the last 365 days

20. found out who your friends are – it was a little more than a year ago, but yes i did.

21. kissed someone on your Facebook friends list – i don’t even have facebook

general

22. how many of your facebook friends do you know irl – since i don’t have facebook i’ll do this for instagram and there it is probably a minority since i follow countless art pages, celebrities, fanpages, animal pages, political pages, people i don’t know in real life, …

23. do you have any pets - yes - a black cat with the name Black Pearl, which we gave him before i even knew about the song by EXO ^^ his name referred to the ship from Pirates of the Carribbean first xD

24. do you want to change your name – i did in the past, because my name is very rare where i live. but i started to like it after some time. the great thing is that it’s meaning differs since no one really knows it’s true origin.

25. what did you do for your last birthday - i invited my two best friends but one happened to be sick at that day (ㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠ) so we were only two but it was great anyway. since i was born the day after walpurgis night we went to the bonfire and spent some time there

26. what time did you wake up today – 7 am but i slept in again and got at 11:20

27. what were you doing at midnight last night – reading or sleeping, i don’t know for sure

28. what is something you can’t wait for – vacation with my family and the summer holidays in general (school was … much in the last weeks.)

30. what are you listening to right now – the sound of me slamming my fingers on my laptop’s keyboard while writing this lol

31. have you ever talked to a person named tom – i did, in fact to more than one

32. something that gets on your nerves – that i have to go to school for one more year (i hate this place wholeheartedly) but i don’t know what to do with my life after graduating

33. most visited website - tumblr and youtube

34. hair color – my natural hair colour is brown but i dye it ginger red and i love it

35. long or short hair – pretty long actually, but i have curls so it’s pretty hard to notice how long

36. do you have a crush on someone - if we ignore my celebrity crushes then … i don’t know…probably no. i’m not sure about this one boy though but…yeah, i don’t really know him that well and i probably only like the idea i have of how he could be. (this is btw so typical for me xD)

37. what do you like about yourself – don’t get me wrong, i know it sounds tragical and sad, but i don’t have something i like 100% about myself. i am used to it though because i’ve been this way since forever, having high standards for me (and for others probably too, which is very unfair from me) but the closest to 100% is my talent for music.

38. want any piercings? – only at my ears

39. blood type – A positive

40. nicknames – the most common nickname for my name is Selmi but hardly anyone except for my mom and my sister calls me like that anymore. other than that i have the feeling my friends and i don’t have nicknames but more like pet names for each other. like, i was called “Flauschebausch” (in english “Fluffpuff”) not that long ago (it referred to my hair). i would also count “squirrel”, “the stars” and all that stuff as nicknames but we don’t really call each other often like that in person xD

41. relationship status - single

42. zodiac - Taurus (but most of the stuff people say about tauruses are not 100% true for me)

43. pronouns - she/her

44. fave tv shows – lately i finished Game Of Thrones and i liked it so damn much, especially the ending (i really don’t get why it was so hated, but i’ll not explain further - i don’t want to write an essay here xD). i also enjoy watching Gilmore Girls from time to time, but hardly anyone in my generation knows it. and since i read it at @kafkascupcake ‘s post for this tag i just remembered how much i liked Memories of the Alhambra too (gosh, how i waited for every episode to air … i still remember this impatient feeling so well)

45. tattoos – i’m not allowed to have any yet but i’m thinking about getting smaller ones later since i think tattoos are pretty. buuuuut i’m also afraid because i can’t really imagine the pain

46. right or left handed - right

47. ever had surgery – yeah. unspectecular story tho.

48. piercings - only earrings but one of my friends and i plan on getting helix piercings soon (originally this was planned to be done before last christmas but we never found time)

49. sport – no no no no no. i hate it. i always did. i did some horse riding in my childhood but that’s it. i’m just not able to coordinate my body so a fail at basically every kind of sport. and i am easily frustrated when i fail at something so i never really tried to ace sports.

50. vacation – my last vacation was when i visited Berlin with my two best friends and m next vacation will be in Denmark with my family

51. trainers – Converse Chucks, always and forever

more general

52. eating – i used to be a very picky eater but it gets better with every year. lately i really like spicy food. but i also have a terrible sweet tooth. i am surprised how i am still like super slim …

53. drinking – a trait i inherited from my dad: i love milk. but i also like juices, tea, coffee (with milk ofc xD) and plain water too

54. i’m about to watch – Avengers Endgame. like today. in 2 hrs.

55. waiting for – my train ride to the next bigger city for seeing endgame. and for me getting an idea what i want to do with my life

56. want – to travel and to make music. my two passions

57. get married – i don’t think it’s necessary for a happy relationship but it depends on the person. to be honest, i like the thought of getting married but i totally understand if someone doesn’t like it.

58. career – the biggest question mark in my life rn

which is better

59. hugs or kisses - hugs. i can’t even explain why. but hugs.

60. lips or eyes - i thinj i look at the eyes first. but i am damned if a person has beautiful lips too

61. shorter or taller – taller

62. older or younger - not important

63. nice arms or stomach – yeah ofc stomachs are great. but let’s be real here: i’m a swooning bitch for nice arms.

64. hookup or relationship – relationship. i am a hopeless romantic

65. troublemaker or hesitant - i am an overthinker, which makes me the epitome of hesitant.

have you ever

66. kissed a stranger – never kissed anyone lol

67. drank hard liquor – only mixed with juice

68. lost glasses - yeah. wasn’t cool.bc without glasses i am literally blind

69. turned someone down - kind of.

70. sex on first date - no

71. broken someone’s heart – i hope not.

72. had your heart broken – yip. my first heavy crush was not that happy. but i am over it since the guy was and still is a jerk and i don’t even know why i fell for him anymore

73. been arrested - no

74. cried when someone died - yes

75. fallen for a friend – never

do you believe in

76. yourself – depends on the situation.

77. miracles - there are moments in which i do

78. love at first sight - yes

79. santa claus - no

80. kiss on a first date – yeah.. i think itmight happen xD

81. angels - who knows? it would be great though.

other

82. best friend’s name - deer of the sun @swiftfeatherscorner and cat of the moon @fille-de-janvier xD i don’t know if they’d like to have their real names published here but here you ahve their tumblrs

83. eye color - i looked it up someday and it’s called glasz - a strange mix between green, blue and grey with some golden dots and marks. depends on the lightning which colour is stronger.

84. fave movie – impossible to tell.

85. fave actor – also impossible to tell. there are so many good actors in this world

i’m not even sure if 20 people will read this so i’ll just tag everyone who has time to answer 85 questions xD

#tag game

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svyxae · 6 years ago

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oh wow a tag look at that

Tagged by: this butt @nottodaay

Answer these questions about yourself and tag people!

ABOUT YOU

Hair Color? Natural, dark brown, right now, roots be rose gold-ish, rest is like a....faded, lavender thing?

Is your hair long or short? short, but i do miss my long hair so

Eye Color? brown with a green circle around the pupil so...hazelnut? idk tbh

Blood Type? UUUH I THINK I AM AB+...IM A + SOMETHING

Nickname(s)? Jess, Dama, RB (PS4 related)

Relationship Status? Single like a SINGLE KRAFT AYOO

Pronouns? She/Her

Tattoos? NONE but i do want some, im just not sure what or where :D

Piercings? my ear lobes even if i dont put on earrings c:

Do you want (more) piercings or tattoos? yes to tattoos

Right or Left handed? Right

Zodiac? .......Aquarius, idk how to know my rising sun...moon or other things

RIGHT NOW, WHAT ARE YOU….

Eating? just ate a bowl of chocolate ice cream

Drinking? might get some water or iced tea idk yet

Listening to? nothing beside my typing and clicking away on my mouse lmao

About to watch? youtube

Waiting for? time to go sleep soon, in like, a 1H hkjkjljl

THE LAST…

Phone Call? Mom

Text Message? best friend

Song you listened to? on the internet it was K/DA, on my phone it was We Are by Woo Won Jae

Time you cried? like,,,,,,,,2 days ago, i was finishing reading House of Cards by sugamins gjhkjlljk ITS SUCH A GOOD FIC PLIS MAKE A SEQUEL WHERE JK, JIMS AND TAE LIVE TOGETHER AGAIN UGH MY UWUS

HAVE YOU EVER…

Dated someone twice? i never,,,,truly dated so no

Kissed someone and regretted it? never kissed LKFJKLJH

Kissed a stranger? nah

Been cheated on? nah cause ya gurl never been on a true daaate

Had sex on a first date? LMAOOO

Lost someone special? some family members

Been depressed? not to the point of not getting up or things like that, i would say feeling down more than depressed

Drank hard liquor? i,,,,,drank a few,,,,,,,rhum shot in my life,,,,,,,thats about it

Gotten drunk and thrown up? i dont drink :)))))

Talked to a person named Tom? no?

Had surgery? nah

Lost your glasses? nope

Turned someone down? not sure?

Broken someone’s heart? prolly

Had your heart broken? YES

Been arrested? No

Cried when someone died? IM A HUGE CRYBABY I CRY FOR NOTHING

Fallen for a friend? nah but they all cute

IN THE LAST YEAR, HAVE YOU…

Made new friends? hella

Fallen out of love? Not sure what that one means

Laughed until you cried? ALWAYS

Found out someone was talking about you? oh gosh i hope so gjlgjkl

Met someone who changed you? YEEEE BOI

Found out who your friends are? oh god yes i did

Kissed someone on your Facebook friends list? Not yet -WINKWONK- im kidding,,,,,,he might never kiss me ;n;

FAVORITE…

Drink? ICED TEA, WATER, MILK, BUBBLE TEAS

Color(s)? pink, white, black, gold, rose gold, red, purple, green, basically, all colors

TV Show(s)? MOORIM SCHOOL, HWARANG (I NEED TO FINISH IT) GRAVITY FALLS

Sport(s)? what the fuck is a sport?

Movie(s)? HARRY POTTERS, MAZE RUNNERS, UNDERWORLDS, WALT DISNEY MOVIES, X-MENS, THE MUMMIES

Actor(s)? ORLANDO BLOOM WOWOWO, and many more

DO YOU BELIEVE IN…

Miracles? not sure

Love at first sight? yes, it just need to happen HE JUST NEED TO SEE ME

Santa Claus? i used to, THANKS MOM

Kissing on a first date? if it went swell, maaaybe??

Angels? i mean, its hard, but my mom is convinced i have a guardian angel so??

Yourself? OH LOOK AT THE TIME, NEXT QUESTION

WHICH IS BETTER?

Hugs or Kisses? HUGS

Lips or Eyes? eyes uwu

Shorter or Taller? taller, plis im the short one in my group of friends

Older or Younger? i go for older, but 2 years younger is fine

Nice arms or nice stomach? ARMS OOOOOOOH GIMME THOSE FLEXXXX

Hookup or relationship? Relationship

Troublemaker or hesitant? ‘’Heard u like bad boys’’ ‘’yes..?’’ ‘’well not to sound like ill be in trouble or anything but i go to bed at 9pm -winkwonk-’’ ‘’!!!!!’’ i actually dont know kljhkghj

RANDOM

What’s your best friend’s name? ALEXA AND CLARE WADDUP

What is something you can’t wait for? Christmas i think? not sure myself hklhjk

What time did you wake up today? around 8:30...9?

Do you want to change your name? i mean, Jessica is okay i guess, but i dont like it, i was supposed to be named Alice, which i think is waaay cooler

What did you do for your last birthday? i legit, dont remember, beside celebrating with the fam

What were you doing at midnight last night? ASLEEP

What is something that gets on your nerves? my anxiety

Do you have a crush on someone? YES

What’s your most visited website? this bumb af website, instagram and FB

Where do you want to go on vacation? I would like to go in Italy, prolly with @malik-zaki go back to France cause 1 day wasnt enough, and just, Europe/Asia mostly

What kind of trainers do you like/wear? Vans

How many Facebook friends do you know IRL? all of them lmao

Do you have pets? NO CAUSE IM ALLERGIC TO FUR AND FEATHERS

Do you want to get married? yeah prolly

What career do you want to have? i really love history, soooo, maybe something related to that

What is something you want? i’d like to have a boyfriend, a good one where i’ll be comfortable with him

What do you like about yourself? my eyes hkghkl, the fact that i have a big heart to welcome all the love of my friends and that i can give loads of love to all of them uwu

im tagging uuuuh @malik-zaki @matoki-princess @k-pop-potato @smiley-yoongi now u really have to do it cause me and karlene tagged you, thats it???

#i got tagged

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anothergirlrecovering · 6 years ago

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Lynn 88

Lynn emailed me and said that she was stuck at a railroad crossing so she was going to be late. I walked across the parking lot and use the bathroom there and her door was still locked so I just stayed outside until she arrived. When she got there she apologize and I was like it’s fine I use the bathroom across the parking lot and she was like oh really can you do that and I was like I mean no one said anything and she was like OK will that’s good to now. She told me to go in and I sat down and she fiddled with the lock and said that it hasn’t been working right and then she went in her office and got my chart out and invited me in. She was like you were out of town last week right? And I was like yeah I went and saw Hamilton and she was like oh that’s right how was it and I was like it was really good but honestly listen I felt like it was kind of overrated for what it was and she was like you know my husband said the exact same thing and I was like well I mean like it was a good show but I would never have seen it if I hadn’t known what it was and thought oh my god this is the best show ever and totally deserves several hundred dollar tickets. She said her has been absolutely hated it because he was like this was literally just three hours of people standing around and wrapping. I Aster if he had listened to the music had of time and she said no and she thinks that would have helped because she was like it’s different if you know all the music and I was like yeah thankfully my friends had said it would help to listen to the music I had of time so I made sure I did and I looked up all the lyrics in the plot so that I would definitely know what was going on but even then there were a few parts that I was like what are they saying. She said yeah she definitely understood and I was like in I didn’t really like the Aaron burr that we had but I watched a bootleg so I saw the real deal online and she was like OK that’s good and I said that I would be going to New York in September and that yesterday was my birthday and my brother’s girlfriend texted me about it and she asked me if I would want to see pretty woman for my birthday. Lynn was like oh my gosh I really want to see that to you! She said she’s going next week with her daughter to bring her to school and she is trying to figure out what she will see but she really wants to see carousel since it is closing but she also wants to see pretty woman and she was like I think I might see a few of them and I was like and come from away? And she was like I don’t know it’s up there as one of the maybes and I was like I know I know you’re not sold on it but I really want you to see it that way you can tell me if you end up liking it because I really loved it and she was like I know, but she said she would see how much time she has and what tickets available and the costs for them. I said that made sense and she was like pretty woman is a classic and I love the movie and you know it’s a stereo typical prostitute love story and I was like don’t ruin it for me actually haven’t seen the movie yet but my husband and I will watch it this weekend. She was like really and I was like yeah I’ve been super movie deprive my whole life and she was like OK and then she asked what else has been going on and I was like well the other good thing was that I semi-impulsively but not really impulsively bought a piano keyboard. I was like I had a really bad sinus infection for like the last two weeks and she was like really my daughter had a really bad virus and she said that there’s a virus going around and it’s mostly her throat and was like yeah I had a fever but it was definitely a sinus infection and she was like yeah my daughter had a fever too and she said they thought it was mono because it was kind of on and off for a little bit but she was feeling pretty terrible and now she’s feeling better and I was like yeah I don’t know maybe it was the virus that caused the sinus infection and she was like yeah you sound terrible and I was like I mean thanks and she was like well I’m being honest and I was like yeah so anyway so I bought a keyboard and I was like listen of this and don’t judge me because I totally have had laryngitis so pretend that’s not a thing and I played or the beginning of she used to be mine that I recorded myself playing and singing and she was like oh that’s so good and she was like you’ve seen waitress right? And I was like yeah and I don’t actually know how to play the piano but I want to learn and that seems like an easier one to get the hang of Sam there was that and I was like otherwise there really hasn’t been anything going on just because I’ve been mainly sick and not doing anything. I was like but also my dad irritated me yesterday because on my birthday he asked if I was going to have cheat meals since I said I was going to take it manage of all the birthday freebies at restaurants and it just made me mad because it’s like he knows my history and he knows that I’m definitely not on a diet or anything so it was super unnecessary and also that I was thinking after our session a lot about my childhood phobia and just how I realized that I know Lynn has always said that I have some OCD traits but thinking back on childhood I was like you know I really realized that I had contamination OCD that kind of went comorbid with the phobia as a result of the phobia assume and I explained I had all of these checking behaviors and rituals like always checking where the garbage was in the exits were so that way I wouldn’t know where to go if I was going to throw up and the constantly checking in and making sure other people aren’t sick or things like that and I said I just hadn’t really thought about it and I told her about how my husband got violently ill and threw up on his birthday and I had a panic attack and cried and kicked him out of the bathroom and it really bothers me because I’m obviously not over it and I would like to be over it for my future children. She brought up the OCD aspect and was like if it’s more of the OCD stuff we can treat that and she asked if I did the specific OCD protocol with people with EMD are and I said actually hadn’t and she said it’s about reducing the urges to do compulsions and I said oh and I explained that while I definitely had a lot of those rituals and compulsions throughout childhood and adolescence and even as if I got in college, I feel like it’s a lot better and I don’t have those rituals anymore but I think actually what stop that was that because of my own purging I’m no longer scared of myself I’m annoying so it doesn’t feel like OCD is a problem anymore and she was like oh OK. She asked what I thought the issue was that I was feeling stuck I feel like we ended up having a conversation about the whole phobia situation that we’ve had many times before where she was basically like there’s no way to test whether or not you are over this and what is it that you are feeling stuck on and I was like honestly I don’t really know and then I got anxious and I was like this is literally what is Sony got nasty with me about was the fact that she kept pressing me and I was like I really don’t know and I wish that I did and I was like maybe that feeling trapped feeling because I was in the bathroom and cornered but I could’ve easily step aside so I don’t think it’s that but maybe it was the anticipation aspect because I knew that it might happen again versus a year ago for my birthday somebody threw up at the baseball game and I didn’t have any time to anticipate it it just happened and she was like yeah I don’t know. She was like I mean it’s possible that panic attacks just happened and I was like no they don’t and she was like yes they do and I was like if it was an isolated incident sure like at the acupuncturist I was thinking about my car accident I can get on board with that, but this was super specific tied to a specific phobia and Lynn was like panic attacks just happen man and I was like random ones sure and she was like symptoms they just happen and she said how last year her and her daughter were in New York City and they got locked out of her apartment and she had this huge panic attack and she said that her daughter had to calm her down then she was like I don’t know what happened but obviously there was some psychological shit going on which I couldn’t help but laugh but I was like OK but that totally makes sense that it was just like a random panic attack I’m on wasn’t exactly random and it’s hard to test because it’s not like I’m around people throwing up all the time and she was like yeah and it’s not like I can really just send you into a children’s hospital and I was like yeah I mean being around bunch of chemo patients I guess that’s why it’s so hard to treat. And then she did the home this may be as good as it gets and then I got sad and I was like OK but I just don’t wanted to be this way and she was like I mean it may be one of those things where your husband deals with the kids when they’re sick all that but I don’t want them to feel like I just didn’t want to be around them and she was like well it could be different when you have kids and I was like but it probably won’t like realistically I see the people in the Facebook groups and they have kids and their phobia doesn’t just go away and she was like well you still don’t know until you have them and I was like I don’t want to be that mom who has to be like sorry kids mommy is just too scared to sit with you and she was like vomit is uncomfortable for everybody I don’t have happy memories with my kids comforting them in the bathroom and I was like OK but you still comfort of them and she was like but it wasn’t a good time and I was like but I don’t want them to feel terribly alone and abandoned like I did and what if my husband isn’t there and she was like well you won’t know until you have them and could be different. and she asked what my goals would be around it and I was like I just want to be normal and she was like well that’s not a goal and I was like you know what I mean though and she’s like well what do you want and I was like to be able to just deal with it like a normal person like I’m not even that grossed out by Vomit I could totally handle it but it’s like I just want to be able to be around people vomiting without going into this huge panic attack and crying or having to run away and like when I think of having kids I don’t wanna do to them what my mom did to me and kick them out of the bathroom or pull over the car and me get out because I’m scared and so she started asking about my anxieties about having kids and she asked if I’m anxious to have kids and I was like I mean isn’t everyone and she was like well when are you planning on having them and I was like I don’t know it kind of just depends more on my husband because I would like to have them sooner than later because I don’t want to be like 39 and not able to play outside with my kids because I’m already out of shape and she was like wait how old are you and I was like 28 years ago and I was like so I mean is there anxiety sure but I don’t know and she was like well when does your husband want them and I was like I don’t know he kind of changes his story a little bit about when and so I don’t really know and she was like well when do you want them and I was like sooner than later and she was like are you ready to have them now and I was like I mean is anyone ever actually ready and I tried to explain and I was like I mean I want them and I don’t really see a real good reason to keep waiting and then I get anxious that if I wait too long I’m gonna have the bad eggs left and Lynn was like I don’t think that’s how that works and I was like well you never know what if I’m getting rid of all the good eggs now and she was like yeah that’s definitely not how that works because if you have a viable pregnancy it means that I was healthy enough to take and I was like I mean yeah I know that it’s kind of a rational but I still worry because what if I end up passing along the eggs that have the bad genetics and I know it’s irrational and she brought up if I have an anxiety about whether or not I will be able to get pregnant and I was like not really because my periods are pretty regular and I’m not on birth control and haven’t been so I don’t see any reason why I should have a hard time with it in theory but I know something that does make me anxious when thinking about pregnancy is just the Wiecking aspect and not being sure how exactly I will handle so much weight gain and you know if it was just all in my stomach that would be easy but if it’s all over I think that’s going to be a struggle. She was like oh yeah well I think when you are pregnant I’m going to need to refer you to an eating disorder therapist because that’s just completely outside of my realm and all of the stress chemicals and not eating at all that would affect the baby in the pregnancy and so she would want me to see somebody who really knows how to address that and I just didn’t even say anything so I was like I’m not pregnant it’s not worth arguing with her about why she shouldn’t do that because ultimately as long as I’m actually following through the meal plan which like I said not worth explaining but I’ve already planned that I would see a dietitian to make sure that I’m staying nutritionally OK but I therapist is just gonna be like remind yourself of the fact that you are growing a baby and I really don’t think that I would do anything like restricting because I would be too anxious to do anything to hurt my baby. Only thing that I could see happening is that I can definitely see myself struggling with becoming really rigid around following the meal plan with the dietitian sense but other than that, now I think it will be fine but whatever so just an address that in Lynn was like so maybe this anxiety about the vomiting really isn’t anxiety but the vomiting as much as it is anxiety about being a mom and she was like what do you think of that and I was like I mean maybe because I’m definitely anxious that I’m going to screw up my kid like my mom did to me and she was like so maybe that’s it and she went back-and-forth on the whole we could try continuing to tackle the whole phobia thing or keep working on the other issues that may be connected Then maybe we just have the wrong negative belief and I was like I mean maybe and she pulled it up and said that the positive believe was I’m OK as I am and that we had gotten the negative leave down to a one but we were not able to do that positively can she likes when you think of that now though I’m OK as I am doesn’t seem like you would be fitting does it and I was like now I mean I guess what would be more fitting would be wanting to feel like I can handle it or I can get through it or stay present or something like that. She said that made more sense and again when with the whole like what do you want to work on and I was like I don’t know and she was like well what do you think is the biggest issue and she started talking and I honestly checked out and I asked her what she said twice and I apologize and she was like basically just what are you want to work on and what bothers you and was like I mean I guess the whole feeling that I don’t matter is really probably be cool or I would think like unless I’m sick or has something wrong with me because Lynn had also brought up do I think the phobia thing was just a response because we’ve been working on me getting better and I’m afraid that if I get better then I don’t need her anymore and I was like honestly no because there was literally no thoughts about it and it was like an immediate reflexive response to go into an automatic panic attack and she had said OK but so I was like I really just don’t even know why I just feel like I don’t matter so she was like oh we have some time so grab the toppers. I noticed that I was like I just feel like there are so many things wrong with me and they’re always have been and part of me feels like I don’t know just worried that I don’t matter because there are 1 million things wrong with me and I have so many weird anxieties and corks end but then I noticed that part of me feels really mad because I look back and I’m like reminded of how recently my mom I said something about I don’t know how mom could have a kid in the not want them and she was like yeah I don’t now but it made me mad in the moment because I was like you basically acted like you didn’t really want me but of course she would never admit that and I think about how she was like I didn’t know I was supposed to spend time with you and it’s like how the fuck did you not know that? And I noticed that it made me mad because it was like I think back now to being a little kid with all these problems and when I think of all of my intensive children that I’ve worked with yeah they are always the difficult kids but if parents actually invest and spend time with their kids or get them the help that they need it’s like they become totally different children and they get better and they become so much easier to be around and part of it makes me mad because it’s like if my mom would have gotten me help or spend time with me maybe I wouldn’t have so many problems now and also maybe I would’ve been an easier kid to where she would’ve actually wanted to be around me. I noticed that it’s sucked that I wasn’t just an easy kid off the bat that made my mom want to be around me and I noticed that honestly makes me feel mad and Lynn was in like notice that anger and I was like OK and I noticed that I feel like I’m not supposed to feel mad and anger is an emotion that I’m not comfortable with And you know I used to always fight with my dad but with my mom there was no fighting because it was instantly if I got mad she sent me to my room or told me that he needed to get over it and stop being dramatic or ridiculous or bad and I never saw her expressed anger over literally anything like I can’t remember a single time when she was mad and I just has always felt like it wasn’t safe to express anger with her and I think that’s why even now I feel so uncomfortable for me to feel mad at her and she was like noticed that and I noticed that I was such an angry teenager but at some point I turned the anger on myself and like when I think back I can remember I always had anxiety and I always wished I could be different but I don’t remember feeling like everything was literally my fault until 12 grade because I can remember in 11th grade when my friend Christi had been taking out her anger with her ex-boyfriend on me and I remember being mad at her for it but I don’t remember feeling like it was all my fault and if I can just be better then it wouldn’t be happening and so I guess at some point I must have switched from being mad at other people to just blaming myself and being mad at myself and feeling like everything was my own fault. She told me to notice that and I noticed that I wasn’t really sure why I changed it on myself but I remembered just getting so angry and cutting myself and Lynn brought up the whole control issue and she was like could it be perhaps that it was your way to control it and I was like I mean yeah and she asked if I had any idea why and I said I thought I guess just that everything just sort of build up all at once and it felt like there’s only so many times that it could be everybody else before I should probably admit that I’m the problem and at some point the pattern that I was the common denominator so I would guess that’s where came from. She suggested the that was your way to control everything again and I said yeah probably. I jokingly said control my favorite issue and she smiled and said she knew and said we would keep working on all of this. She was looking at scheduling and was like we already have an appointment for next week right and I was like no you said you’d be gone and she was like well I will be going on Thursday and I was like what the heck but she was like I’ll be here on Monday and Tuesday if you want to come in then and I was like I already have clients scheduled so I can’t and she’s like that’s OK we already have the following weeks schedule and I was like yeah so can we do that next week scheduling that way I will know my schedule for that week and she laughed and I was like I’m sorry but since I won’t be here next week to schedule the two weeks out I need to do it now for my schedule and she was like that’s fine I understand. I was like OK and so we scheduled and I went to pay but then I was like wait did you figure out my deductible and she was like no I’m going to figure that out this weekend so if your next session but I’m just not gonna collect any payment and I was like OK that works. She told me safe travels and I headed out.

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