#oh my gosh i am so happy with all the comments ive gotten on this fic so far!

[spyrkle4]

Sundown's prologue in a nutshell

[seeminglydark]

i found your blog through that detention au post and binged your whole webcomic and i love it! im fairly new to webcomics and ive been trying to find some supernatural ones to read (one of the first i came across was paranatural, which is also excellent). seemingly dark is exactly the type of story ive been looking for and im so glad i found it! also if you have any recommendations for other webcomics id love to know what they are but thats not the point of this ask lol

Oh gosh thank you! I’m so excited to hear that, I’m really happy that piece brought someone to my comic, thank you for telling me, it means a lot!

Let’s see, Seemingly Dark and of course my other project Mil-Liminal is actually about the two characters in the Detention post (they are in Seemingly Dark too but ML focuses on them) it ofc has a big romance element, but will be monster of the week style after the first intro season.

I am ALWAYS happy to rec stuff though I don’t get the chance to read as much as I should.

Some of my favorites include (paranatural ofc!)

Stag Town on Webtoon, it’s REALLY good but does have some disturbing imagery but I recommend giving it a go, I’d call it supernatural horror. (Spooky town ala junji ito but not)

Black Water comic here on tumblr is AMAZING, you can easily binge it in one go, the art is perfect and the story is really engaging in my opinion (monsters, forests and mysterious boys)

Wilde Life is an ongoing one, you can google it, it’s got great art, fantastic lore and a really interesting premise (guy buys a haunted house on Craigslist, hijinks ensue)

Welcome to Wolfsgate on Webtoon, it’s on hiatus but the art is reallllly cute, the stories engaging and we love pumpkin head kids around here (Spooky ‘how did we get here’ places)

A lot of the comics I really enjoyed that inspired me are dead and gone or unfinished unforch, but I’m going to say them anyway because they deserve to be recognized. Return to Sender was insane, beautifully drawn and the premise was wild and I miss it and was sad it never finished but understand. And Hanna is not a Boys Name, which has a lot of uhhhhh lore about what happened to it and I know the artist has another comic but I haven’t gotten into that one yet.

And finally, comics people always put in the same lists as Seemingly Dark that I haven’t had a chance to read all of yet, Demon for Hire, which looks amazing, and Lies Within. Both comics I’ve read pieces of, both have phenomenal art, I just haven’t found a lot of time to binge them.

Followers, hit me with your fave supernatural comics in the comments if you want!

[actualbird]

I like your analysis(es?) so much hh, and apparently my brainworm of the day is the NXX crew getting a flowering cactus called Karla, for some reason. It’s a therapy cactus XD. No other thoughts. - Book

thank you, Book!!! and also wait no get back here and tell me more

KARLA!!! KARLA!!! oh i love her already but please understand that i have so many questions and all those questions have accompanying THOUGHTS oh gosh okay let me just hm wordbarf both those things very messily, you know how i do things

what kind of flowering cactus?

there are so many, afterall.

given that vyn is into botany and gardening, i assume he would have a lot of opinions on this.

actually, ive met a lot of botany hobbyists in my life, and the snobbier ones among them actually HATE cacti (and succulents). theyd say stuff like "oh cacti are the in thing with the millenials these days, theyre the plant people get when they dont know anything about plants."

WOULD VYN BE LIKE THAT, LMAO????? he seems like the type to at least THINK IT.

but also deep down i assume vyn is like "a plant is a plant is a plant" bc among the sweeter botany hobbyists ive met, theyve got this notion that "as long as you help it grow strong through the challenges, u did a good job" WHICH....MAKES ME THINK....VYN THINGS....vyn is not going to admit it, he will never admit it, but hm. what a strange plant. shaped to protect itself yet in need of care all the same.....

ANYWAY if anybody is getting a premeditated-bought cactus for the HXX HQ, you bet that vyn will, one way or another, have some kind of say in what the cactus will be. if it isnt premeditated-bought, he'll definitely have many things to say about the cactus' future care

or does the cactus just kind of appear there? is it brought into the NXX HQ in the dead of the night like jesus in the manger? if that's the case, who brought it?

i think it would be artem. or, well, i think it would be FUNNIEST/PATHETIC-EST if it was artem.

let's just say that a non-NXX and non-MC person decides eyyy, artem, got u a gift, it's a cactus! haha, get it! bc ur a prickly unapproachable dude! and artem is like ".........." BUT LIKE IT'S RUDE NOT TO ACCEPT A GIFT EVEN WITH THE BACKHANDED CRITICISM OF HIS GENERAL STATE OF BEING

so he takes the cactus and like leaves it at NXX HQ because if he brings it to his apartment hes going to get vaguely annoyed by the cactus and what it supposedly represents and he'd want to set it on fire

(sidenote: cacti do not burn well, by the way, ive set some on fire for cacti funerals and sigh, you have to put gasoline on them for a good burn)

anyway he brings the cactus there, leaves it vaguely hoping that the air conditioning will like, kill it (cacti live in the desert, right? so cold...bad?) and then somebody else will go "where the fuck did this dead cactus come from, can we throw it away" and then artem can throw it away (ALONG WITH THE REST OF HIS EMOTIONS. artem...GET HELP....)

but that doesnt happen because get fucked, artem wing

who names it Karla?

naming a plant most often comes from somebody who has gotten VERY ATTACHED TO THAT PLANT. i first thought hmmm maybe it's luke, but then i remembered that luke has this HILARIOUS tendency of making comments about eating MANY ORGANISMS HE COMES ACROSS (ssr shape of you, he threatens to cook and eat goose, chara story ep 1, hes very happy at eating the cooked crabs for their crab crimes, sr aquarium date forgot the name, hes like let's eat seafood SURROUNDED BY HAPPY ALIVE FISH, luke....what the fuck?) so maybe it's not luke and that leaves...

marius von hagen getting attached to a cactus and naming it is SO FUNNY TO ME but also makes me soft. hes the first one who sees the cactus in HQ and is like "who the fuck left this here?" //big data lab googling what it is. "well good thing it's fine with cold temps wouldve died if not, you cant just leave a thing in a place...with no warning....with no help...thats tough....huh, thats tough, isnt it, cactus?"

am i saying that marius von hagen gets attached to the cactus because it vaguely reminds him of his own life story of being pushed into very stressful circumstances and essentially left to fend for himself? yeah. yeah. because im deranged

"the cactus' name is karla," marius says at the next meeting, spraying the cactus with a mist bottle. "be nice to her or else im biting you."

who declares it a "therapy cactus"? aka who realizes that literally EVERYBODY else on the team is, one way or another, projecting themselves and/or their desires onto the PLANT???

luke. luke does. luke has the habit of dissociating and spiraling at any given moment when he encounters anything even ADJACENTLY related to what hes going through (again, sr aquarium date, luke u were just looking at the jellyfish, WHY R U GETTING DEPRESSED PHILOSOPHICAL OVER LIFESPANS???? SIR, GET HELP.....), so like lol he can clock that shit in from a mile away because hes the worst offender of that too

he doesnt bring it up of course. i mean, im sure he thinks about it because it's just the right kind of shithead move to pull just in case the others try to push him around again but mc gets mad at him when he goes agent scary at the rest of the boys so okaaayyyy he'll retaliate against getting dunked on in a more...civil way. so he doesnt bring it up. he also doesnt bring it up because...

well, if it makes them happy, then it makes him happy. thats all that matters to him

"keep making them all happy, yeah?" luke absentmindedly says to the cactus one day. "i heard you guys can live for a hundred years."

the cactus, of course, does not reply.

mc gets very into taking care of karla. pls expect many conversations where the boys are talking about the "cactus" (theyre talking about themselves) and mc is just like "okay im 90% sure this is a metaphor, you guys aint slick, but i like this cactus very much and thats true whether it's a metaphor or not."

all the boys: //PLEADING EMOJI WITH HEARTS

thanks for making me go insane over a cactus, Book. it's 8am here.

[lizzodorito]

quick vent

because i legit have no where else to put this sort of feeling and just.. writing it in a book or a doc just... isnt as cathartic. Hope this just fades into the void, please dont bother reading it.

Hey. screw proper grammar and spelling I just need to get thihis out.

my name is liz and hoenstly fuck this website because last time i actively used it for something other than mandolorian memes or sims mods/cc my ex boyfriend was fucking stalking me on it and catfishing me and comfort me by sending me those ask lists and i... i dunno if im over that. Fuck you Sven.

not the point, just wha t I have to think about every single damned time I find myself here no matter what.

I am so lonely. I dont have many friends at all and the ones I do are out to use me or not Get Into It with me, thouhg fair because im a shit load of a lot to deal with i guess. other friends i have are pretty backstabbing and they refuse to properly grow up and LIVE and THINK FOR OTHERS AND ALSO THINK FOR THEMSELVES WITHOUT IT HAVING TO BE DEFINED BY HOW PROUDLY TERRIBLE THEIR MENTAL HEALTH IS FUCK

And then i get shit for it

love being used guys hell yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah  no i dont i hate it so much literally when was the last time anyone loved me right outside of my family and even so its not like my parents treat me well. mother you may have improved drastically,  but similar to my self esteem, its still very much BELOW PAR and i hate having to witness both.

I am so lonely.

I go so long without saying any word sometimes, its a wonder i stil breath, although sometimes when i was young id forget to.

why is it that i get more depressed when i come back to the family home

does anyone else understand being family oriented to a family that really for the majority doesn’t treat you the same?

The voice in my head wont stop. it wont stop telling me all  the ways i have potentially fucked my budding friendships with my new friends isha and matt 

how am i a person who shares so little yet so much

BUT MY LORD THANK YOU these are people who... who are considerate and are processing what i am saying and are thinking of me

but how fucked up am i

and will that push them away

im often distasteful but all the same complex and layered and so useful and so interesting

and that’s why often enough it seems people dont put in the effort, or frankly, dont give a shit about me once i requrie effort, though their “care” for me beofre then was only for their own benefit.

im exhausted 

One of my best internet friends was raped and i was the one who revealed that to her and she just didnt realize it yet and i havent been able to fall asleep without thinking about it

i have needed to cry for over a week now and i haVent gotten to still i am so sad i am SO SAD

I am so charming yet cannot help being alone no matter how enjoyable i am for others to have around

Matt

He makes me question if im asexual

But I am only a human

porbably deifntieyl still asexual

but too much all the same 

Im just lonely and touch starved probably (more than usual to be clear) and want to be hugged and loved and he’s so smart and we talk for hoours and comfortably, for me, occupy eachothers’ space we talk for 

hours.

this is becoming poetry.

I feel like i am beginning to sound like a hobo johnson broken record

stop being poetic fuck off liz

he;s so 

I havent been hopeful like this in people for a long time

we went to a museum to support isha (she had to do a project that invovled socializing so ya know the inrovert crew (though i dont know fi matt considers himself one)) and we just were togeter (in rather close proximinity) just speaking in accents, partly hoping to excite the strangers crowding everywhere about “foriegners” being here at the exhibit... but i think it was mostly just for us. for our fun 

because voices is what we like to do

i love voice acitng 

he committed to it, i fell out of it more times than he did and he gets more specific with accents than i do

he likes what i do

he loves the characters and my many talents

he loves my writing

he wants me to join his dnd campaign over the summer with his friends

is it for me?

does he want... me

or just my character maggie that everyone loves

he wants me to join the campign he’s in npw with his friends, as he’s a player character and not a dm as he would be over the summer

he doesn’t quite get how lonely i am

i worry i made him and isha uncomfortable last night... i joked about actually being loved properly

he immediately looked at me strange, me not realizing the joke was taken as truth

“Liz, is there something you need to talk about?”

“Oh! Oh, well, um...” hi i come from an abusive family and you both dont realize how much it meant to me that you wanted me to come and are consitently telling me and thanking me for coming because... you’re telling me im good company and its been so long since i have had real friends or gone out with friends and ACTUALLY FULLY AND COMPLTELY HAD A GOOD TIME OH MY GOSH YOU DONT EVEN KNOW I AM SO SHY ABOUT ALL OF THIS BECAUSE HOLY FUCK I CANT EVEN ASK HOW I BECAME SUCH A BASKET CASE BECAUSE I ALREADY KNOW I ALRWADY KNOW I ALREADY KOW I ALRADY KNOW AND I HAVENT’ GOTTEN TO REALLY TELL ANYONE IN SO LONG WITHOUT THEM LEAVING ME 

its been so long since ive been understood by a peer

(hi my name is liz and i am weepign right now)

“No, not yet at least.”

*isha laughs and it joined by matt soon. I’m smiling comfortably. I genuinely have a soft, contented hope i might get to tell them at least some of it one day.*

“not yet at least! sorry matt you have to be at least a level 4 friend to learn the tragic backstory”

thank you isha for lightening the mood

thank you for making the joke so many people who gave less than a fuck about me got offeneded at and confused when i made it so often years ago.

my comment was laughed off, we continued to watch the critical role espidoe i had missed

soon it was just matt and i. isha was to bed.

just him and i, and i, like id been all night (concious but making the decision to pipe down and trust the people around me), was all curled up, very relaxed and off my posture, sinking into the couch. MAtt was always upright ish. sometimes hed sink a bit or rest his hips on their side curl a little rest his head, but not as intesely as i did

sometimes he’d scoot closer to me, sometimes hed scoot away. sometimes hed move his legs so our knees would touch. i dont mind (not because i was finding it romantic, im not twelve, i just am understadning of the small situation we are in and its a knee for crying out loud) i wonder if i was taking up too much space with the way i’d sit comfortaly. I wonder if he thought so.

i would be lying if i said i didnt imagine us actually having contact with eachother. cuddling platonically.. on multiple occassions.

I have an imagination that thinks of everything and so many scenarios all at once and all the time after all

i was comfortable with the idea but

it would be a bigger lie to say i wasnt absolutely and perfectly content wiht the way it did go.

i dont thiink i will ever know if he was comofrtable on that couch or more so if it was me he was comfortable or uncomfrtoable with. 

I will respect him to tell me.

he;s good at eyecontact and its comfrotable enoguh where i dont have to look away (it’s been a problem i never used to  have recently)

I’d peek up at him when he’d talk to me

i felt young again

when the stream was over he got up to leave.

i dont know if we daudled. dawdled? yep thats the word

i dont know if we did

we made small talk

shitty jokes that he declared wouldn’t be the last thing we said to eachother that evening

i agreed.

the last words that night were goodnights.

me with my raspy evening voice from a day full of talking and him with a look over the shoulder from the hall as the door closed behind him

he was obviosuly very slap happy sleepy as he was talking about the light not being too bright in the hall (to his happiness)

it was a nice night

when was the last time i went to bed so happy? thanking God over and over and praying for my friend i mention way earlier

i didnt even have to drown my insomnia with a youtube video

i just went to sleep

2 am

i hope the weather continues

- jaques cruzio, pink panther

now im just in bed

at the family home

not my dorm

fighting my depression (its been three hours, i was getting exhausted by 9:30 due to it) as i rest

i was curled in a ball, slumped and face planted, arms slumped when i decided i need to talk to someone, or say something mroe than what i vented to my little sister (small bits about how lonely i feel and how i worry ive fucked things up) hours ago

and here we are 

12:14 am

just some broken twenty something asexual with a mind that’s usually over sixty talking about the amazing people i met two weeks ago while in the background i think about the girl i used to be the boss of (online moderator work) and how she’s essentially in love with her idea of me and how i make her feel... and not just for me.

i am mysterious and cool and smart and hot and talented and useful to her.

I want to be complex and dedicated and helpful and pretty and so skilled and hardworking and wanted for me.

i want to  be considered and deserving and im hoping that isha, matt and my other two roommates can help start to fill that hole in my life

because, God, so far they have so much potential for it in my eyes

(so far)

thanks for listening, void.

actually feeling quite a bit better. the misery is still lingering, i wonder if i should cry more. But, i can breathe easier and my eyes dont feel dead. I just am tired and am prepared to enjoy things again.

proabbly will watch claire from BA make jelly beans.

or the Noel Miller guy isha told me about.

I dont know if it’s appropriate if i downloaded matt’s contact into my phone from when isha put us both in a groupchat together and i hope its not weird and i hope maybe he did the same, but by God i dont think i’ll be texting him first.

i like in person better.

with anyone.

always have

i have so much more on my mind

[rqs902]

.

this became just a random summary of my thoughts on mainly yu gengyin (with other kids sprinkled in lol) throughout various episodes of season 2, which may or may not be presented in any sort of logical flow or order, just a warning.... 

i feel like yu gengyin is normally a calm boy, pretty direct, but keeps his composure. but this pose right here, i can relate to his contempt for zhou wen HAHAHHAHHAHAAHAHA HES SO DONE HAHHAHAHA

i havent even started the episode yet but i saw they’re gonna perform exo’s wolf and just started LAUGHING HAHHAHAHAHHAHAHA I NEVER HTGOUHT HAHAHH NOT THIS SONG HAHHAHAHHAHA

tbh im totally ok with leo not choosing ygy HAHAHAHAHHAHA no offense to him, but he’s not very good at playing the super idol game, so hopefully ygy can shine stronger elsewhere. i feel like this show doesnt show him enough appreciation yet. 

HAHAHAHAH YGY IN THE SAME GROUP AS CXK YES IM THRIVINGGG 

suddenly leo’s team got very strong lol 

but pyj hating hd still lol.... but its ok they have wmt even tho they got a bunch of new kids and the most useless new kid lol.....

i was just complaining about lack of ygy but suddenly there are more flashes to ygy on screen lol... amazing... but he does look really nice in this color

WHEN YGY GOT NOMINATED TO BE ELIMINATED MY HEART BROKE 

but tbh for the remainder of the ep i more worried about freaking wumuti looking like he was freaking dying gosh he shouldve gone to rest or something, they really didnt need him to keep standing there after he finished performing. freaking muti pulled off an amazing performance despite his condition and as soon as he exited that stage persona, he literally looked like he was so weak and so pale i was like oh gosh let the boy rest!!! ugh but yea i refuse to believe / am in denial that ygy may possibly get eliminated so i am refusing to think about it LOL. anyway now on ep 6 they literally keep giving him screentime. zfz literally saying the purpose of this mission is to “save ygy” and cxk talking about giving ygy a special role in their perf so he can shine ;_; i love friendship 

but im not complaining about extra ygy time ehehehheh he looks like a prince for this stage and i love how he’s still smiling brightly throughout the ep and when aya brought up his status of being nominated for elims he was like ‘can you not say it out loud” and it was jokingly and he was smiling but the downward motion he made with his hands, i was like ah he is trying not to cry?

its interesting bc im almost grateful at least now ygy will get some more attention

wow look how stylish wu muti was in 2016 

oof watching ep 7 was painful..... it felt like an ultimate low for gengyin, and even tho we all teared up when zfz was eliminated.... it kinda made sense when he was talking about the colors and how he liked his own color so maybe hes just not meant to be in a boy band and i can agree... ahhhh side note fangzhou and yifan’s friendship ahhhh it makes so much sense why they’re still so close today.... even tho im still SO MAD that deng qiang is still here and fangzhou had to leave.... episode 8 was really FINALLY the break that this team as a whole really needed and im SO HAPPY and relieved for them 

this entire season has felt like a low for gengyin, like torture for him, and he really hasn’t gotten a break to shine or to feel success and i feel like to be in that kind of a slump for like 2 months??? thats so sad... and im sure that takes a toll on your mental health. but despite it all, despite being passed up for getting chosen for the special stage, he still was rooting for daidai so cutely like the way he used a silly voice to chant “戴隊戴隊” and so wholeheartedly exclaimed “戴戴太感人了~ 媽呀! 唱得快撕裂了你知道嗎’ I mean, honestly he could’ve easily and understandably felt salty that daidai got that opportunity (even tho we all know gengyin has more vocal ability), but he didn’t. it felt like he truly and fully supported his friend and teammate and that already had my heart going oof 

BUT THEN. then watching their practice footage and just watching him regain his confidence and then finally FINALLLYY perform like he was truly enjoying being on stage. after 8 freaking episodes, FINALLY its yu gengyin’s time to shine and i am THRIVING!!! ahhhhhhhhhh i literally stopped after their team’s perf to just absorb all the amazing things they said about him, about his vocals and high notes, and about his dancing improving, and about his rapping being so next level for him, and about his stage presence being the best hes been yet. and the comment the teacher made about how yu gengyin’s personality is just so nice and 善良 that he has had difficulty portraying a powerful stage presence and today he finally saw it, and i think he was just so perfect, im so proud and so happy!!!!!! and wow this stage is everything to me. cxk’s stage presence is already so strong (and btw i loved how kunkun so confidently said “ygy is our main vocal. he will no doubt stand on stage very confidently and perform well” -- i LOVE how much faith cxk has in gengyin, despite all the setbacks gengyin’s faced recently) and the choreo - they made it work for them and you could see them work together and i loved the way liu ye just literally SAW gengyin’s confidence. he saw how gengyin was just somehow so handsome on this stage and i think that says a lot about how much someone’s mental state can truly impact their performance. it hurt my heart to hear ygy describing being at risk for elimination for the past 3 weeks as feeling like he was physically weighed down by the immense pressure. he just seemed so tired, but at least within the last 2 eps the show has taken the time to really highlight how gengyin’s been practicing late at night alone, trying not to let down his team mates and really trying to improve himself. (ugh the fact that he had been practicing his high notes secretly all this time but never got to show it until he broke his voice...) But yes, i literally just watched their team’s performance and paused to type this all out and now im gonna go back and watch their whole segment again, because i love seeing yu gengyin’s transformation and this confident side of him. how can you not love his smile (and the way that they captioned this as "yu gengyin’s signature smile” :’)

man ep 8 is like THE time to be a ygy stan bc hes literally thriving and shining and getting all this screen time and attention and its so well-deserved and ive just been waiting 8 eps but we’re finally here :’) and yes its now official that ygy is my bias on this show i cant turn back now hahHHAHAHHA ive invested too many emotions into this child and you best bet i just changed my phone lock screen to also be ygy HAHHAHAHA its actually the top photo from the pic i just pasted above, bc this performance, that SMILE is EVERYTHING 

but also on a darker note, the whole conflict between wu muti and huadi is making me uncomfortable.... honestly i feel bad that ive been hoping their team loses but thats mainly just bc i need deng qiang to get eliminated which would require their team to lose LOL but also this whole thing between muti and huadi is getting out of control and their tempers are p concerning... like tbh we all know huadi has a temper but like muti is firey too and he’s like at a point where he just keeps yelling and being rude so im like theyre both just being rude to each other and its to the point where its starting to affect their team work... oh noo. sigh... from the beginning i thought huadi and muti’s dance styles were so different that they may clash bc theyre both going to try to lead dance practice, but this is way worse, this is their personalities clashing and its much scarier than i expected. 

also poor pinlin... man he like got super shafted during the first season imo and now he has to leave season 2 bc of his super serious injury.... ugh seeing his tears of frustration hurt my heart... he has so much talent and deserves more opportunity to show it :( but man his waist injury sounds so bad. the main bright side to all this is zuo qibo getting peer pressured into stepping up as a main vocal and really improving and getting some time to shine too. in season 1, back from when muti was like ‘noo i dont wanna be compared to qibo, hes a good singer’ until now, i dont think we’ve reaaalllyyy gotten too much of an opportunity to appreciate qibo’s vocal abilities because hes not had too much exposure and hes been overshadowed by the kids who have already established their strong vocal abilities. im scared hes under a lot of pressure now, as their leader and main vocal, but im glad hes been doing so well so far, good for him :’) im looking forward to seeing him improve and get more appreciation. i remember he was one of the most popular kids at the end of season 1 (along with cxk and wmt i think?) so i want to believe that he can live up to it. also this is random, but his visuals are really growing on me, like i can see him as a visual now and i think he looked really good this ep!!! to me visuals are cxk wmt zqb djy and maybe also hyf zpl yeeaaaaaaa but i mean ill say again, i just love ygy’s smile :’) 

[jamofappreciation]

Rec Thursday

MAKEUP & BEAUTY. Just a disclaimer, this is coming from a person who didn’t wear makeup for over twenty years and has just really gotten into it. I don’t do a lot face-wise, but rather focus on eyes and lips since those are the things I like the most and want to emphasize and I don’t have really any problems with my skin. These are the things I have come to rely on and use a lot and they’ve worked really well. :) Everything is also linked and aside from the Tarte stuff, very inexpensive. 

1. NYX Plush Gel Lipstick. Color: dime piece. (x)

2. NYX Butter Lipstick. Color: Staycation - These first two are great for right now (at least where I am!) because they’re both very light or bright and spring-colored. (x)

3. Tartelette Tease Palette - The colors in this palette are my jam! Neutral enough but with a little sparkle that isn’t too overwhelming for everyday use. :) (Okay, also how does this smell so good that I want to eat it?!) (x)

4. Rimmel Natural Bronzer. Color: Sunlight - It sounds weird, but this smells so good. It smells like summer and sun and makes my pale self look a little more healthy when I need it. (x)

5. L’Oreal Paris Voluminous Superstar Liquid Eyeliner. Color: Black - I was always so skeptical when people said liquid eyeliner was easier to apply, but oh my gosh it has saved my sorry eyeliner-applying butt. (x)

6. St. Ives Oatmeal Scrub + Mask - Since I don’t have a lot of skin problems it takes a lot for a product to feel like it’s actually doing anything to my face, but this does and feels great afterwards. (x)

7. Freeman Sweet Tea + Lemon Peel-off Clay Mask - Super easy to use and it only hurts a little when you peel it off. ;) It smells pretty good also and while this one is for normal/combo skin, there are options for all. (x)

8. Revlon Colorystay Gel Envy Nail Polish. Color: Royal Flush & Winning Streak - These are very springy colors, one very bright and the other more pastel depending on your color preferences. The gel stays really well and the color is so good. (x)

9. Sinful Colors Glitter Nail Polish. Color: Queen of Beauty - I have struggled to find a really great glitter nail polish to layer over a color that doesn’t end up being tiny little flecks of glitter with gaping holes of color showing through, but you could honestly wear this one on its own if you wanted. (x)

10. Maybelline Pumped Up Mascara. Color: Brown - I love mascara because I feel like with the least amount of effort it does a lot for my face and makes me look more awake. This one has lasted quite awhile and the color is good, it goes on nicely, and the brush/wand isn’t a crazy shape that’s hard to maneuver. (x) 

11. Any Jumbo Eye Shadow Stick - These things are basically my favorite because 1. So little effort, 2. The color is usually great and 3. The ones that last all day make my life so much easier. What a great concept. If all I have to do is draw and blend, I’m a happy camper. :)

Requests for Recommendation Lists can be sent to me via ask or message or as a comment on this post. I’d love to hear what you’d love to see!

[arielkrupnik]

pur-girl-tory

I came from a world of things i loved to be disappointed here.

So far in my stay, Ive unenjoyed the bimbo-limbo of women, Ive unenjoyed the limbo of entertaining poetry, Ive unenjoyed the company of many, Ive unenjoyed lingering and risking on deletion oblivion, Ive unenjoyed the bad comments this will probably palm-nail me with, Ive unenjoyed the crucifixation people have had with me, Ive unenjoyed not being able to write this on their faces instead of here, for this needs to be contained everywhere. Its already written all over your faces, and Ive unenjoyed looking into them.

I feel how Mickey Rourke’s face looks now. I feel guilty for those who sport a smile, recite an inside joke, upload a photo, insert a quirk, write their writings, miss their borefriend, expect to be loved, don a crisis make over, chastise for power, critic to death, name a hypocrite, expect an email, expect a text, expect jealousy, con’knives in the back, adoration, paychecks, sex, loyalty, and respect for being cold. But yet, and better yet, they have no soul. Drama mia! They have a lot of room, minus a soul.

Ladies with gentlemen, pedestal your gentlemen while you can. Better still, marry your man! Don’t leave a man like me questioning the genuosity of your love. You can be ignorant now to bliss I gave you beforehand. Its easy to rid the ones who love you, in favor for lucifers human flesh and his kind words. But thats not the way to get into heaven. He’s a wanna-be macho cheese, taco supreme, muchacho!. At least, my flesh is all natural. In the land of Ariel Krupnik, it keeps me from ever warming up to the idea it'll be unenjoyed.

We all shit out the same asshole for the same fate. Enjoy your version of love while supplies last. Rub shit in my face, and make me wonder

what gosh! It must feel like to be the most important someone in your life. Love is for those that dont want to be found; to leave loyalty behind. Since when did love become an excuse to get rid of me?. I cant just say fuck them - my heart is too big to fit through that door. It seems as though every girl i know in love - really know how to fail under the radar, dontcha unsweethearts?. Might as well start unacknowledging our history, and start heading back on your kind

words.

Your lucky you got away. I have to work everyday. No one has compassion, soul, heart, empathy, love angel music, baby. I feel like Im the only one trying. I feel like the only one whose gotten neurotic for it, and any girl to complain along with me, will agree, then retreat back to their borefriend, and lie life. If you can retreat to love after reading this, your say in the matter is no go. Take your comments with you to farcity blues.

I don’t expect any miracles for being this conduit of expressing things we're scared to say. Thats how the right poem gets made. Thats how the real person does reality, minus a love, added by soul. Bless me for me! and who are you suppose to be?. And what for?!.

I don’t have the same nature as a lot of you do. I have this unbelievability factor hunting down on me, for until my dying days. You see poetry has found me, sister dear, brother dear. And Ive stuck its language all around me;

every corner in my mouth. I sacrificed the english language and those who speak it, to speak le dangerous!. Lets hear you say this.

My life is the secret told, the full-fledged victory for not having someone to share this with. He is sad to hear, naive, he is mad-mindedly beautiful in his telling of the story. He does justice to decency by speaking these. Oh but Im speaking way ahead of myself, its the rest of the world that has catching up to do. This writing here today is indeed born of its rightful melancholy, and the one you might be missing out on. Im sure theres a great writer even now whose convinced you great writing exists otherwise. They are writing my work. They are using my skills to get to you, to get you too. Poor little fellows, who were born dicks - and legs and arms, and torso and heads grew from it!

No I haven’t enjoyed my stay, the rooms been full but the company has been empty. I don’t feel right not reaching enough soul. I don’t think someone willing to be a minor messiah for your everything should be shunned, no matter what he wears, or how he cuts his hair. Do you honestly feel okay not being happy to happiness' full-pull potential?. You are the ones in shock, over awe, over oh no, over his courtly love

staring out in the open dawn. You are the ones that want to disappear among rooms, clubs, dorms, bars, upstates, drugstores, house parties, homes, vacations, classes, jobs, and dates, and dirty laundry. All to get further ahead in life, pushing me aside.

What are you guilty of at the moment? Im sure your ignoring someone for a stupid reason, and I am not ever. I can be bought for free. Im talking bout me - the incredible friend of yours incredibly unacknowledged. If theres anything I can die and leave you with, it would be to please not fall into the cliche of these self-righteous, below the ground-nosers, who think too high and mighty of themselves to hang with anyone the least bit disingenuous. If you cant accept everyone and their faults, unwelcome yourself to society.

I don’t feel so comfortable waiting so long to see people again. The idea of pretend-friends hasn’t always been a favorite of mine. ‘ We should hang out', fake,

every word is for false people. Someone has to be somewhat decent. Thank god for me, i guess. Im the only last will and living testament of those who don’t break the rules. Im too cool to be outside of school. I shit upon all who believe they cant compensate for being bad. People who attend halloween parties, thanksgiving dinners, christmas dinners and new years parties, claiming around, being good to their relatives, just so they can be bad in reality. Thank god for me being real my whole life. I haven’t been faking it.

I don’t expect miracles with anyone. I don’t expect anything - no one has any real heart to put up a fight. No one wants to find out why I consider myself talented.

Im so disappointed we cant get past stupid little individual problems we make, just to avoid the truth. We have improvised anything that might be evil, to steer clear of me. Goodbye proper imagination, hello fake fuck-face smiles.

Its nice to see you again in everyone. May you shatter all your mirrors and preconceptions one day. One can only hope.

Oh what me worry, I'll die for any spot in heaven,

I can always fulfill that expectation. I'll be the first and last to understand what Ive written here. First and last, and anywhere Im hoping the in-betweeners wont make the end so hard if they've been following me this whole time. No one I know is someone to have gotten to know all of me. If they were looking for redemption out of something bad i did, I hope they find that here. I hope I was more than just myself today, and something unseen carried over. I hope that makes her, whoever she is now, that much more intrigued on my mystery. And I hope that she whoever, forgives me my daily dread. Forgiveness is important to me, not yourselves.

I wish you all the best in stopping yourselves from me getting to know you. I wish upon a dark star.

I hope on that star, I wasn’t your friend, but thee friend, afterall. In the end, Im friends with your heart, not yourselves. And you can tell your others; significant others and friends, an angel says fuck them for not reading this. Fuck you if you don’t get it, and fuck us if you never will. And fuck you all with love,

Ariel.