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thebibliomancer · 7 years ago

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Essential Avengers: Avengers #138: Stranger in a Strange Man!

August, 1975

What a weird title.

But the cover is quite good. Or at least quite true to how things go. True-ish. Yes indeed the Stranger is back.

Last time: Fearing an Avengers roster of part-time Thor and Iron Man and also Hawkeye, the Avengers decided on a membership drive. They offered membership to Moondragon for being conveniently nearby and then got Yellowjacket and the Wasp to return. Putting out a PSA and holding tryouts, only Beast showed up. And also the Stranger. The Stranger tried to kill the Avengers with sky sea mines and although all the vintage Avengers blundered into the trap like idiots, newcomers Moondragon and Beast showed sound judgement and skill. When engaged by Moondragon in a PSYCHIC DUEL, the Stranger fled but the Wasp has been badly injured. Because, of course.

We pick up this time with Wasp having been taken to a hospital and Thor (with his Donald Blake diagnostic skills) fearing that she may not last the night.

There’s also a crowd of lookie-loos and reporters around the hospital. Sam Reuther of CBS asks whats the word and Thor only says that the Wasp has been injured by the Stranger and “THE MIGHTY AVENGERS SHALL BRING HIM TO BAY FOR IT!”

Oh. Right. Also. Beast and Moondragon are provisional Avengers. There will be tests and whatnot.

And the lookie-loos being Marvel citizens range from ‘MOM HOLY FUCK THE AVENGERS’ to ‘eew a mutant’ and ‘eew creepy bald woman.’

Marvel’s citizenry are the worst.

Yellowjacket storms out of the hospital and hails a cab (they didn’t bring the Quinjet). Jan is in critical condition and may not last the night. And this time there’s no miracle doctor being held captive by aliens that can save her (which just goes to show that maybe we didn’t need this plot point again). The only reason she’s alive is because tiny physics - she was tiny and got hurled away from the worst of the explosion. Which sure sounds like science.

Anyway. There’s nothing any of them can do here. So Yellowjacket wants to get the Stranger but good.

They return to the mansion to ponder and plan and also wonder where Hawkeye is. He went looking for Black Knight in the past. So no matter how long he spends in the past he should be back already unless something happened.

But worrying about Hawkeye gets interrupted by a sudden psychic attack that knocks the Avengers for a loop and tosses them about in a psychic wind. All except for Thor who has really good balance and really good muscles.

I mention this because its kind of a plot point that Moondragon sees Thor standing up and yelling at the storm and thinks something like ‘hot damn.’ Although later this issue she decides she doesn’t like him because he’s different than Titan’s demi-gods. And because him and Iron Man fight over her like a piece of meat.

Anyway. The psychic attack was the Stranger and for some reason he was trying to pry the location of the Scarlet Witch from the Avengers’ minds.

But he didn’t find anything because the Avengers don’t know anything. Apparently Wanda and Vision just took off on their honeymoon without leaving a contact number or anything.

Yellowjacket realizes that even though they don’t know anything, now they know that the Stranger is looking for Wanda for whatever reason. And they can use that against him. If they set up a decoy and lure him out again...

And if another team stays behind they can use the mansion’s equipment to track his power to the source even if the Stranger doesn’t make a personal appearance! chimes in Thor.

Iron Man volunteers to take point with Moondragon but Thor countermands. Iron Man will stay at the mansion to work the machines. SINCE HIS EXPERTISE IS NEEDED TO OPERATE TONY STARK’S MACHINES CLEARLY. And Thor will go with Moondragon to the decoy.

Oh god. Is Moondragon going to play the role that Mantis was originally supposed to? Causing the Avengers to fight over the pretty lady?

Iron Man protests, asking why Thor gets Moondragon in his group.

Thor: “Because I be Avengers’ chairman... and ‘tis my judgement that she be better suited for this battle than the Beast.”

Anyway. After that bit of pulling rank the groups are Thor and Moondragon on the decoy and Yellowjacket and Beast to stay behind and watch Iron Man run the equipment.

And something that just occurred to me. The Avengers now have Hank Pym and Hank McCoy on the same team. I wonder if they’re ever going to address that might cause confusion.

But speaking of Beast, he reflects that the Avengers play a much grander game than the X-Men did and have been in high gear since he met them, just last issue. He just hopes that there’s room on this team of superstars for a Beast.

Which. Hey. Welcome to one of Hank (McCoy’s) character arcs for the Avengers. He is (or becomes?) one of the bigger geniuses of the Marvel universe but on the Avengers he feels overshadowed by Other Hank or by Tony Stark. He’s strong but he’s not Thor strong. So what’s his role on this team?

Going forward we’ll see what answers he comes up with.

Later, Thor and Moondragon arrive at the Florida Keys in a Quinjet. And the decoy works!

As soon as they set foot on a beach that is a plausible honeymoon destination, the Stranger’s big shouty head shows up to shout at them.

At the mansion, they detect a power beam locked onto that Florida Key and start to triangulate.

On the island, the rest of the Stranger’s body shows up and then another Stranger, challenging Thor to find the real from the replica.

Moondragon finds it curious that the Stranger hasn’t tried another mind-blast. She leaps to attack one Stranger while Thor attacks the other.

A the Stranger grabs Thor, which just brings him in Mjolnir-ing range and it is indeed hammertime. But the hammer passes through the Stranger, confirming him as just a simulacrum. Solid enough to grab a Thor but illusionary enough to fade out when hit by a hammer. As ya do.

So the Stranger Moondragon was fighting is the real thing?

So she smacks his foot to trip him and then kicks him in the mustache (probably the source of his power).

Its a good hit. Even the Stranger compliments her. But she’s still struggling with an enigma. In the stadium, the Stranger’s mind power felt limited. But when he attacked them in the mansion, he was close to omnipotent. But now on the key, he again seems lacking in psychic strength.

What’s the deal, the Stranger?

Thor suggests that she’ll have to force him to tell his secrets and Moondragon agrees, whipping out such psychic strength that it manifests as crackling energy.

Under the onslaught (but not that one), the Stranger vanishes. So both of the Strangers were illusions.

So he was attacking remotely from another location. Yellowjacket was right in his supposition which I didn’t mention. But Yellowjacket is reckless with the Wasp hurt. He shouldn’t go. Something bad will happen.

No, no, says Thor. Clearly he should go.

Thor: “Thou dost not understand, woman! He must go! ‘Tis all the man can do for the one he doth cherish about all else! And he’ll rout that Stranger somehow, mark my words!”

In other words: This Is Something He Has To Do Himself, sigh.

Marvel heroes could gain from learning from Carrot that personal isn’t the same as important.

Just once, when someone is told they’re too close to something or too emotionally involved I want them to take a step back and realize ‘hey you know what, you’re right.’

Thor also asks if the misgivings Moondragon is feeling about Yellowjacket are like the empathic impressions Mantis got. We don’t hear her response because of SCENE CHANGE.

Actually, there was a scene change earlier, right when the Stranger seemingly split into two.

Iron Man triangulated the Stranger signal as coming from the ionosphere, a hundred miles up. And Beast, Yellowjacket and Iron Man ran to take a Quinjet to investigate.

With Iron Man also worrying that Yellowjacket has been running himself ragged since the Wasp got hurt and will burn out if he doesn’t find some release soon.

So then the scene transition.

The Avengers in their Quinjet finds a Stranger craft and tractor beams onto it. One day I’m going to look up when tractor beam was first used as a sci-fi trope.

Hank!Yellowjacket is raring to go and start punching Stranger but Hank!Beast urges caution. Based on his personal experience with the Stranger, they should exercise extreme-- LASERS

GOOD GRIEF

Right when they entered the Stranger’s craft, a laser grid activated about four feet up from the floor, set at a height they’d catch most people right in the heart.

Good thing, Beast was on alert.

The Stranger barges into the room, immune, of course, to his own trap. And since the Avengers are stuck ducking under the LASERS, the Stranger is free to walk up and squish them.

Starting with the Beast.

Beast SPROINGS away. He’s still acrobatic enough to bounce around the room and avoid the lasers. Plus, his mom specifically told him to stay out of bad guys’ clutches. Specifically.

And he bounces around, finally ducking through a door and running like crazy.

Yellowjacket and Iron Man try to crawl toward the door but it shuts behind Beast and the Stranger. Also, how well can Iron Man even crawl in his armor? I bet that, like Metroid, he can’t. But he also can’t turn into a ball. Truly the worst of both worlds.

Anyway, Beast is still fleeing. And still humoring. I like Beast’s humor. Humor is good for a funny books.

But running is all he can do against the Stranger. That and witticisms. Running, witticisms, and his secret weapon. And rounding a corner, he sets up his secret weapon.

When the Stranger follows him around the corner he spots... Edward G. Robinson?!

Of course not, it’s Beast again.

But that does raise a very fascinating question. Beast didn’t have a bag with him. And he’s only wearing his monster modesty briefs. Did he have a full gangster outfit plus rubber mask and hands stuffed into his underwear?

Did he intend to bring the Edward G. Robinson costume or does he simply use it to give himself a conspicuously awesome butt?

And has Beast ever considered theater? Because he pulls that costume out of his underwear and gets dressed up in it in a matter of seconds. That kind of speedy costume change would be the envy of thespians everywhere.

Anyway, the Stranger is so startled to see a dead Golden Age actor on his spacecraft that he suddenly transform into the Toad.

Happens to one in five cosmic beings.

But no. The Stranger was really Toad in disguise the whole time. Or at least in this issue and the previous issue. There is a the Stranger. But he doesn’t care about the Avengers.

Beast reveals that clearly this was his plan and he suspected an outcome like or adjacent to this. Based on similar clues as Moondragon spotted, he thought something was fishy. Clearly the more powerful Stranger that attacked them in the mansion was due to having more direct access to the power source, compared to the ‘in-person’ appearances. Hank didn’t suspect that it was going to specifically be Toad because nobody ever thinks of Toad.

Toad loses his shit at Beast looking down on him. Declaring he’s no longer “just the Toad” or anyone’s minion or dwarfish dolt! He’s his own master! That’s the reason he stole all these machines!

And he runs back to the main hall to find a machine to destroy Hank.

But other Hank spots the Toad, realizes what’s up, and decides to shrink himself so that he can pursue Toad at his own height, under the lasers.

And he chases down Toad and takes out some damn frustration for Wasp’s injury by injuring Toad a lot. He’s a bit short tempered here.

But then an octopus.

No. It’s just another illusion. Beast jumps in and POWs the octopus, knocking down the Toad.

This whole time, Iron Man has been scooting along and finally reaches the off-switch for the LASERS. Good job, Iron Man!

This was really a team effort. High fives all around.

Beast now has Toad in a headlock which of course means its backstory time! Lets tie this all together.

Set off by Beast calling him “Toadie” as in a friendly version of his name and hearing it as “toady” meaning “obsequious sycophant” Toad rants about all the years Magneto mistreated him despite his faith and loyal service.

So he betrayed him. Which we saw in Avengers #53. And then Toad went off with Quicksilver and Scarlet Witch. Because he had loved her afar when they were in the Brotherhood of Evil Mutants together.

Then Toad and Scarlet Witch got kidnapped by Arkon. In Avengers #75-76. Instead of just forgetting that Toad was there, apparently Toad asked to be left behind on Polemachus. Because he had plans.

Using the primitive resources of Polemachus, a planet that thinks anybody smart is a dumb nerd, Toad built a spaceship like he saw Magneto do time and time again, and flew it to the planet of the Stranger.

Despite Polemachus being in a different universe than Earth and the Stranger presumably being from Earth’s universe.

There’s more holes in this story than there is in Swiss cheese.

Anyway. The Stranger wasn’t home, as Toad had been relying on. So Toad ransacked the joint, stealing every bit of machinery he could understand and installing it on the spaceship he built. The thought form device he used to imitate the Stranger was the easiest to understand, after all his years with the Mastermind.

And what was Toad’s ultimate masterplan that he asked to be left behind on a brutal, primitive world to enact?

He was going to master all these devices and then ask Wanda for her hand in marriage.

But then he heard on radio-monitors that she had already gotten married to the Vision.

So he decided he was going to take out his romantic woes on the Avengers and Wanda by killing them disguised as someone they would take seriously.

(And this isn’t even the last time he’ll do this. Toad is Toad-ly the worst.)

At this point, Iron Man has apparently lost interest and Toad yells at him to look at him when he’s talking.

But, hey, Toad. This is the last page of the issue and after two issues of fighting the pretend Stranger, the Avengers have better things to do. Like piloting a Quinjet.

Which makes the Toad literally hopping mad. Hah!

Meanwhile, unseen by the others, Yellowjacket clutches himself in pain and admonishes himself to hold on for the Wasp’s sake. Oh, right. He wasn’t supposed to do any size changing. You done goofed, Hank. No, the other Hank.

Also meanwhile, Vision and Wanda are still enjoying a lovely tropical honeymoon none the wiser of any of these shenanigans. Although Vision looks like a sunburned Mr. Clean.

So!

This feels like another story written to build Beast up. This whole two-parter in general feels like that. It had X-Men villain the Stranger (really X-Men villain the Toad) putting together traps that Beast’s acrobatic skills, disguise expertise, and roomy trousers thwart.

At least part two has the more established Avengers acting less like idiots. This time its mostly Yellowjacket acting like a reckless idiot and Iron Man and Thor briefly fighting over who gets to hang out with the new girl.

And despite Beast basically being MVP in these two issues, he doesn’t feel oversold? Moondragon is the one that fights the Stranger in the first issue. And Yellowjacket lends an assist in this one.

Plus, we get that scene where Beast feels overshadowed by the superstar Avengers.

Now my only question is whether Moondragon will get a similar story to establish her. She has her moments in these two issues. She is the only one besides Beast to start putting the puzzling pieces together. And she has a good show fighting the Stranger in the stadium and on the Florida key and also KOing Yellowjacket.

If so, it won’t be next time. Next time: the Wrath of the Whirlwind. So most likely a story focused on Yellowjacket.

#Avengers #the Stranger #Beast #Iron Man #Yellowjacket #Thor #Moondragon #the Vision #Scarlet Witch #on honeymoon #Essential Avengers #Essential marvel liveblogging #Toad #once again the day is saved thanks to UNHOLY ACTING TALENT #much better job this time guys #much better teamwork this time #nobody respects Toad and nobody should

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gulescamisade · 8 years ago

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New York: Day 4, Biggest Bite Yet

[ Memories are a bit hazy, fading in and out of consciousness for quite a while. There is the cold feeling of machines, restraints being applied, clothes being replace and sylladexes outright ransacked and stolen. Scans, conveyor belts, shuffling movement-- and being removed from a procession of humans, loaded up onto a truck, and driven elsewhere. ]

[ The world fades for just a bit longer, in the darkness of a chilled trailer... ]

--------------------

[🎵 We're coming out to get you. We're oh so glad we met you. We're eating you for profit. There is no way to stop it. There is no way to stop it... 🎵]

[ There's a memory of... makeup. A few touchups. Makeup brushes and some foundation work... to hide some of the bruises and clean off all that seasoning. And clothes being changed? Everything has gotten a lot brighter, as though a dozen spotlights were shining down on them. In truth, the number is a lot more excessive than that, but it's more than enough to begin rousing the group from their chemical slumber. ]

[ Each of them, to the last, appears to be wearing a new shirt. One that looks like this -- http://www.bowlingconcepts.com/media/content/flame-shirt.jpg

-- but with text scrawled across the chest, "BIGGEST BITE YET" ]

???: -There's the distinct sound of cooking utensils, and talking- Alright, so we're just gonna take some of this beer braised pepperoni and cover it with this sriracha aioli.

?¿?: -CHOMP- Oh yeah that's on the money right there.

[ There's a pretty significant audience out there, in what looks to be a stadium mashed with a kitchen set-- an enormous brick oven pouring heat onto their backs, and a kitchen area stocked with EVERY KIND OF FANCY APPLIANCE AND FOOD PREPARATION TOOL KNOWN TO MAN OR GOD. Creme brulee blowtorches. Beaters. Mixers. Blenders. Basters. Tenderizing mallets. An assortment of knives that would put any other to shame. the sound of rushing can be heard, muted but there. ]

[ Something sizzles on a grill. Something smells... delicious. ]

¿¿¿: After the commercial break we'll be getting into our main course, live from Niagara falls. Seeya then, folks!

MEULIN: ...R.... RR.... MEULIN: -The distinct haze of it all is enough to set in an instinctual panic in her before she even knows what's going on, and she's trying to struggle -- not this again.-

ROSE: -she's AWAKE AS WELL. Eyes blinked open. Not stingy anymore, at least...-

ROSE: -She instinctively tries to move, but. Right. The restraints.-

JOHN: -UughRRHRHuuooooooogh.-

JAMISON: =Someone PUT A SHIRT ON HIM. How DARE they. He doesn't lift from the haze he JUMPS....as much as the restraints let him. Looks around=

JUDE: -he's having a time guys, let me tell you-

[ ALSO: their arms are held behind their back in some kind of tight, cookware-safe stretchy material! They're also wrapped up by the ankles. ]

JOLENE: -WIGGLES- what is this?????????

JOHN: a weird, kinky nightmare.

JOHN: -Flexes. Nope. No good.-(edited)

ROSE: Please. Please do not mention kinks. ROSE: I know it's inevitable but I want to wash the very notion from my mind, now and forever.

JOHN: -crap, this is actually real. HOW DEPRESSING.-

DUALSCAR: =Exhales sharply through the gill slits on his neck, all this spice bullshit have made them pretty sore. His voice is raspy as he swears under his breath in ancient Alternian. Time to start flexing and pulling against the restraints.=

MEULIN: DAVE--!? -The name comes out before she's quite cognizant of it, and that alone is enough to jolt her fully conscious, terrified and confused, eyes darting around. She can't hear anyone. She doesn't know what's happening.-

JAMISON: =HOW STRETCHY? Can he stretch them a lot?=

¿?¿: Hey! Would you look at that. It's about time y'all woke up. -Walking over to them is someone, resembling a man. No, he lost his humanity long ago. The frosted tips, the goatee, the Oakley sunglasses. The JORTS!-

KANKRI: -When he wakes up the first thing he is noticing is the restraints and that is terrifying its clear no amount of pulling is going to free them but he sure is trying.-(edited)

MEULIN: -Oh human Jegus.-

ROSE: -she sees the jorts first...-

ROSE: Oh.

JAMISON: Uncuff me at once you well-dressed FIEND!

JOHN: -well dressed? seriously?-

KANKRI: (...Well dressed?)

JAMISON: =He, too, is a fan of shorts=

KANKRI: -And he is a fan of tall pants, that doesnt mean its in good taste.-

JOHN: -STOP COMPLIMENTING THE ENEMY!!!-

JAMISON: =He's an honest man, okay?=

GUY: What's cookin good lookins? Well, rhetorical question. The answer is you! Soon enough at least. I'd suggest not struggling too much. Lactic acid really ruins your flavor, and I know the audience can't wait to get a taste of you guys.

DUALSCAR: =Is the material stretchy enough to let him flex strain pull it towards his mouth?=

KANKRI: -UM.-

MEULIN: -Okay, she remembers now that Dave isn't here, and also... Shit. She can't read these lips well enough, especially while she's panicking.- SIR????? -looks around for Dualscar. SHE NEEDS ORDERS SOMEHOW.-

[ It's fairly stretchy! But it was built with you BEEFCAKES in mind. He can't get it too far, and his arms are behind his back right now, making that difficult. ]

KANKRI: Excuse me 6ut in s9me senses w9uldn't that 6e c9nsidered canni6alism???? -Can he reason with this man?-

[ He COULD potentially try to wrangle it under his legs, but that would be a difficult balancing act with how his ankles are bound, too. ]

JAMISON: =Can he and Dualscar and Meulin GNAW each other free?=

[ Also, Fieri would be there to see him try it. ]

JAMISON: =Oh..... how close is he?=

ROSE: In--

JOHN: so that's what this is, huh? you've just been eating people in front of a live studio audience?

JOHN: that's...that's really unamerican of you!

GUY: -I'm right here my guy-

ROSE: -SIGHS REALLY LOUDLY- ROSE: In every sense it is cannibalism, yes.

ROSE: You weren't mislead on that matter, don't worry.

KANKRI: -turns at john.- ...I think it is m9re then "unamerican." J9hn.(edited)

JAMISON: =WELL IN THAT CASE, he crouches then SPROINGS to BUTT Guy in the face=

GUY: -Leans back-

JAMISON: =DOOF. Right on the ground=

GUY: You're gonna cause some indigestion, I can tell! -Hoists Jamison back up to everyone-

ROSE: How is this going to go down, exactly? Do we have last rites? Last requests? How long is a commercial break for?

JAMISON: =Can he headbutt him like this?=

DUALSCAR: =Hears the "SIR" and flares his fins while struggling with these restraints.= DON'T PANIC. WWORST YE COULD DO.

JOHN: hey you sons of bitches, if you're so hungry why don't you eat my entire ass! -YELLLS-

JAMISON: =HE'S READY TO BRAWL=

KANKRI: -John please.-

KANKRI: That is n9t an ideal 9ffer t9 pr9p9se when he seems t9 already 6e c9ntemplating it.

JOHN: -HE'S JUST...SO MAD. It's making him be less fearful than he should be of his impending doom-

JAMISON: Well this meat is going to be rather hard to CHEW.

GUY: That's a real good idea. Maria? Can you prep the bucktoothed one? I'm thinking a buffalo picante rump roast is on the menu. -Strokes his goatee-(edited)

MEULIN: -She can't hear him, but she does see his mouth moving, at least, and she assumes it's something reassuring. Or so she's going to let herself believe.-

MEULIN: -Think, Meu... Wait, she does have a tail. It's not exactly prehensile, but it's something. She tries to squirm it around to see if it's bound somehow.-

[ The tail is not bound!! It is free to wiggle. ]

JAMISON: =This buck-toothed one?=

GUY: Anyway here's what we're gonna do. Her Imperious Deliciousness is viewing this at headquarters. Now I was thinking: What would be more baller and mirthful than making a couple dishes dedicated to her, made from those that oppose her? Brilliant right? I know. So you guys are my special guests on this episode of big bite. The American people are gonna get some real honest to goodness looks at just how delicious population control can be. Hey! It's a lot more morale boosting than rounding everyone up in dark carnival concentration camps!

ROSE: I defy myself to find this remotely surprising in the least.

MEULIN: -Heck. Okay. Okay. She's going to try to wriggle her tail up her back and then force it down into the middle of these weird plasticy? rubbery? cuffs, thinking that maybe if she applies enough force down the middle it'll slide off her hands or... something.-

JAMISON: Tell Fish-Hitler after we're done baking YOUR cake we're coming to TENDERIZE her rumproast!

[ It might take some doing, meulin. And a little bit of time-- HARD TO TELL if it's going to be quick enough. ]

KANKRI: -Phrasing.-

GUY: That's the ticket! Say that to the camera, we're coming back in three, two, -points at Jamison and walks back over to his set-

JOHN: -RRRRRRGH. He wants to do something to help. He NEEDS to do something. But he's coming up short on ideas.-

KANKRI: If c9nsuming quantities 9f p9pulati9n is h9w y9u intend t9 c9ntr9l the 699ming num6ers I am s9rry t9 inf9rm y9u that n9 9nly is that h9rri6ly unethical 6ut is als9 extremely unhygenic, imm9ral, and thr9ugh 9ut m9st extensive reaches 9f the universe, Ilegal!

MEULIN: -AARRRGGH HECK. Why is he POINTING AT JAMISON??? She's trying not to look too strained as she works her tail at these cuffs, because what else is there to do while she's trapped and confused?-

JAMISON: =He keeps a RAZOR BLADE taped to the roof of his mouth..... did they find that?= I'm not trick pony you be-shaded fraudulent feast-maker!

GUY: Welcome back to Guy's big bite! Live! From Niagara Falls. I've got some special guests here with me that are gonna help me with our main course. Say hi to members of the Unbreakable Union! -Camera pans to them-

DUALSCAR: =Hisses through his teeth. He will say something to the camera alright.= ALWWAYS KNEWW YE WWERE A FREAKY ONE NEEHUI, BUT I'M DRAWWIN' THE FUCKIN' LINE AT PUBLIC VVORE.

KANKRI: -Please refrain from kink shaming, Dualscar.-

[ALL of your cavities were invaded, my dudes. No items, no weapons, final destination.]

JAMISON: =FIENDS=

[ YEAH IT'S PRETTY LEGIT ]

ROSE: -She glances around, trying to find something for her eyes to land on-- tilting her head a little bit and brushing up against one of the draws.-

DUALSCAR: THIS IS WWHAT YER SPENDIN' YER TIME ON? HM? INSTEAD A LORDIN' OVVER A PEOPLE YE HAVVE YER SERVVANTS PUT ON SOME DISPLAY YE CAN FIND ANYWWHERE IN THE DEEP WWEB? YER PRIORITIES ALWWAYS WWERE TWWISTED.

ROSE: -She takes a deep breath, trying to hide it as best as she can as she attempts to brush it open with the gentlest, tiniest psionics.-

JAMISON: =Triesto grab the flexy material between his wrists in his hands. He's going to try wrapping it around and around while maintaining leverage. COMEON FINGERS YOU CAN DO IT=

GUY: -Laughs as the camera pans back to him- You see that? Pre spiced, ladies and gents. So for the first course we're gonna make a hot and sour fin noodle bowl that is to DIE for.

[ Meulin is finding a fair amount of difficulty-- it's given her wrists some more wiggle room, but it's actually hurting her tail a bit to do it. It's some sturdy stuff, only the best for REBELS. ]

[ BRIEFLY, JAMISON'S FINGERS TANGLE by virtue of stretchy shit. IT KIND OF HURTS ALSO. OW. ]

[Slowly, ever so slightly. The drawer opens.]

JAMISON: =HE KNOWS PAIN, FLEXES THROUGH IT. HNNGNG=

JOHN: -Ugh. So many lights in his eyes. He can barely see anything. He tries to access his sylladex, but of course there's nothing in it. But.....they couldn't confiscate everything, could they? He doesn't need his hands to use his wind powers. He focuses on that wall of knives as best he can....and then sends a blast of wind at it, with all he's got. He's hoping to cause a keruffle, at the very least.-

ROSE: -just... ever so slowly... pulling it off its tracks... hovering it towards her. The camera is on Guy and not THEM, exclusively, so they probably don't see the look of intense concentration on her face. She hopes.-

JOHN: -FWOOOOOOSH-

DUALSCAR: OH, THAT RIGHT? ARE YE GOIN' TA USE BOTH SALT AN' PEPPER THIS TIME AROUND? KNOWW WWHAT KINDA BLANDASS SHIT YER LOT CONSIDERS TA BE EDIBLE. =White people, damn... He's seen the memes he knows.=

[ That is a BURST OF STRENGTH from Jamison and a BURST OF WIND from John. Both seem to have their intended effects-- The knives go flying through the air, though in no particular direction, scattering around the set in a distinctive clamour as Jamison feels... SOMETHING beginning to tear. Slowly, but surely. IT'S WORKING. ]

JAMISON: Cripes alive that's savagery! =Burn? BURN! ALSO AAAAA=

[ Meulin may be able to get a hand out at this point as well. ]

MEULIN: -Ah!!! One hand is enough, and in the midst of the chaos, she's trying to use a combination of her claws and strength to get at the restraints on her ankles.-

KANKRI: -You know normally he would say something about all of Dualscars aggressive bullying of this stage persona villain, HOWEVER, its kind of well deserved.-

ROSE: -She pulls something from the drawer, but she can't see it, sliding it with a psionic push to the side and lightly elbowing Kankri.-

KANKRI: -Why is he being elbowed, he quickly turns his head to the side to look at her.-

JOHN: -After the spray of knives, he doesn't see why he should stop causing a general ruckus.Now he focuses on the kitchen countertop.-ROSE: -gestures with her head backwards, as she begins... grinding something metal against her ankles. Well, hopefully it'll cut...-

JOHN: -SWOOOOOOOOOOOOOSH-

JAMISON: =His fingers are probably numb at this point but he's trying his bestest to keep tugs=

KANKRI: -Angles himeself the best he can to see what she is trying to point out and OH, oh yes this is good.-

GUY: Looks like we might have to use a little extra vineg--Oh for pete's sakes! We're doing a show here. -Look at this mess of utensils.-

GUY: Guards!

[ There is a sudden SNAP. two of them, actually. Both meulin AND jamison!!! ]

JAMISON: =HE CAN PUNCH, HE CAN FIGHT=

MEULIN: -Well, there's probably no way to hide what she's doing now, so the moment anyone looks her way, she SPRINGS with a hiss!!! She might not be able to do much to many people, but she can at least be distracting enough that the others might be able to get out.-

JOHN: -Yep. Now seems like a good time. HE RISES. He hopes the camera is getting this.

JOHN: -He's still tied up but floating.-

[You really did it now. I can't believe you've done this. There's the distinct sound of imperial drones marching towards them. The windy one is priority]

JAMISON: =Gonna try to grab one of those wayward knives for his feet, also to cut free his friendos and his BABIES FOR PETES SAKE=

JOHN: -Oh hey look it's Guy! He takes a deep breath, his chest expanding like a studio ghibli movie. and then. FWOOOOOOOOOOSH. He lets it out. It's like a deadly burp.-

MEULIN: -SPRINGS onto a countertop, then another. She's probably sending cutlery and sauces flying everywhere, but she didn't parkour all these months for NOTHIN'.-

KANKRI: -All this action is the perfect time to move and with all these knives about hes grabbing the closest one which happens to be right behind him, thank you rose, a little paring knife. And hes using it to try and cut away the restraints around his wrists.-

JOHN: -He would take a weapon but...he's still tied up. Surprising himself with how much trouble he can get into with zero arms and legs-

DUALSCAR: =Guffaws.= CAN'T EVVEN KEEP YER SNACKS IN CHECK! BLOODY HELL, BUT YE ARE PATHETIC! =He takes one of the utensils being passed around behind people's backs, getting something that feels like a bottle. Is it glass or plastic? This Da’bomb Ground Zero Carolina Reaper Hot Sauce?=

KANKRI: -Hes proud of you John, this is the one time he fully endorses him to wreck shit up.-JOLENE: -wiggles her hands around until she feels a utensil of some kind?? she doesn't really NEED to see, she's gotten out of stickier situations with less. stabs what happens to be a CARROT PEELER at the restraints on her ankles. HHHRRNG. this might take a while...-

[Guy mostly looks unamused and disgusted with Johns latest display. A drone grabs him and restrains him. Another is going for this cat on the counter. NO KITTY THAT'S A BAD KITTY]

KANKRI: -Hacks harder at his wrist restraints when John is grabbed.-

JOHN: - He's not going down without a fight. He shoots up, and then back down, trying to get this drone off his back-(edited)

DUALSCAR: =This might be glass. And in that case, shards would be more useful right now in getting out of these restraints. He braces himself and tries to fucking smash this bottle against his own back to shatter it. If he can he will get a shard and furiously try to slice through the restraints.=

JAMISON: =Are his feet free with the knife business? If so he's gonna DECK the top off a drone=

[Kankri, you better work bitch. This Drone is not letting John go. It's a smaller drone, the runt of imperial drones really. It starts bonking him on the head. Cut it out! Dualscar is successful in breaking the glass but also cutting his hands with broken glass shards. There's hot sauce in everything YOWCH. It's da bomb, dawg. Jamison now has the freest feet in the land, drone dome goes SPINNING. Clank clunk!]

JOHN: -is BONK'D. Wow that really fuckign hurts. He screams-

JOHN: -IT'S AN ANGRY SCREAM but also a scream scream.-

JOHN: aaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAa -wow john can really scream-

KANKRI: -HES WORKING AS HARD AS HE CAN. How long does it take to cut these restraints anyways?-

DUALSCAR: =Inhales through his teeth because jesus christ that smarts something fierce, earfins flaring and twitching backwards. Regardless he got what he wanted, and he's immediately going at it to slice thru these restraints.=

JAMISON: =How heavy is it? He's going to THROW this drone at another one and RIP his shirt off= COME AT ME YOU MECHANICAL FISHTLER DRONES!!

[ Speaking of people getting FREE, it's just like shucking an oyster. With a carrot peeler. Which is to say DIFFICULT, SURE, but Jolene can feel some significant progress going forward-- a slow tear and then a SNAP. At the sound of John's shouting Rose, too, pulls herself up, hefting what appears to be a... potato masher. LESS THAN IMPOSING. She flings it psionically at one of the drones. ]

ROSE: Damn it.

[ Kankri's getting AWFULLY CLOSE. Just so close there sport!!! HANG IN THERE. ]

MEULIN: -She's trying to scramble up what is presumably the upper cabinet of this false built-in TV kitchen area. PARKOUR KITTY RESUMES. YOU'LL NEVER CATCH HER, COPPERS!!! Maybe.-

KANKRI: -Hes awfully discouraged by the fact that someone with a carrot peeler beat his tiny knife, but he isnt stopping!! Aggressively hacks and cuts at his restraints with even more determination.-

[ The drone after her seems to have gone into a full on, bull-style charge in her direction. PCHOOOO. ]

[ Meulin, that is. ]

[THE MEULIN DRONE. ]

MEULIN: -FURK-

MEULIN: -PUFFS UP and tries to jump high enough to bypass the bull charge and... land on its back??? Shit.-

[Drones are heavy as fuck, Jamison. You might throw your back out trying to lift this]

[ There is a SNAP. The elastic flings all the way across the stadium. ]

[ KANKRI'S ELASTIC]

[I GOTTA REMEMBER TO SAY WHOSE THINGS THEY ARE WHEN THEY HAPPEN ]

GUY: Oh you've got to be kidding me. -Flings a coconut dream pie at the cat-

JAMISON: =FINE THEN, here comes the knife he's going to cut the head off=

JOLENE: -FREEDOM. she wiggles to bring her arms in front of her and then hops onto her feet. a spry old lady with only one real leg...-

JOLENE: -HRRK. pulls the restraints on her wrists apart until she can get out of them. SUCCESS. she's brandishing this carrot peeler like it's the most lethal weapon on the planet. AND IN HER HANDS IT JUST MIGHT BE.-

KANKRI: -VICTORY. For his hands anyways... can he detach the ones around his ankles with his newly freed hands or is he going to have to cut those too.-

JOHN: -Since this drone isn't letting go, John is going to try to send another blast of wind their way. He can't be very precise with it, but it's powerful.-

GUY: Useless drones. -Whistles loudly and there's more shuffling. And the smell of grease-

[ IT'S LIKE SHUCKING AN OYSTER. AN IMPERIAL DRONE OYSTER. ]

JOLENE: -also flips double birds at the nearest camera. THIS ONE'S FOR YOU, CONDY!!!-

ROSE: - She sniffs the air, and then grimaces.-

JAMISON: =GRABS a toaster to try and program this drone with a toaster controller now that he has at the wires?=

MEULIN: -SPLAT. Delicious... but also this really fucks up the rest of her senses she has available. TIME TO CLING FOR DEAR LIFE TO THIS DRONE.-

ZOMBIES: [We're coming out to get you. We're oh so glad we met you. We're eating you for profit. There is no way to stop it!]

ROSE: -She pulls open a few more draws, now that she's up, scattering them and thier contents on the floor-- until she stops, and grabs a pair of skewers.-

ROSE: I am beginning to think. We really do not have the stretegic advantage here.

DUALSCAR: =Has he sliced through these elastics yet? He SLICE WITH ALL HIS MIGHT.=

[ OH YES HE HAS ]

MEULIN: -YOWLS, muffled by cream pie.-

[ DANG SORRY ]

[ FORGOT ABOUT THAT ONE ]

[Delicious fried zombies shuffle down from the audience]

[ There is a yowl and a sudden CRASH as the drone smashes into the wall of the set, with Meulin on its back. ]

MEULIN: -Fucking DOOF.-

KANKRI: -Eugh not more zombies, hes cutting through the rest of the elastic around his ankles and quickly getting up onto his feet. Hes up and has the knife held tightly in his hand! Although he doesnt want to use this, hes against committing acts of violence.-

DUALSCAR: =With his hands free he now has to slice through the ones on his legs. He must BE FREE.=

KANKRI: I really hate t9 agree with y9u 9n such a d9wnside driven t9pic, R9se. 6ut I think y9u are indeed c9rrect.

[Be free you glorious maymay]

ROSE: -She takes a dramatic leap up onto a kitchen counter, holding the tongs aloft as they crackle with energy, a pair of bolts flickering through the air. Her aim is poor with these clumsy things not made for her powers, but the violet bolts of electricity are flying distinctly fieri-wards.-

DUALSCAR: =He is FREE he can FIGHT. The drones are going everywhere, but where is the Guyster? He has a glass shard with his name on it. The name of his eyeball, more specifically.=

JOHN: -IS THIS DRONE STILL ON HIM?-

MEULIN: -She's probably going down in a puff of plastery powder, too disoriented at the moment to wipe pie off of her face until the shock subsides.-

[The drone goes flying because of wind. Hurtling directly at Dualscar.]

JOLENE: -works on freeing her screaming nephew and then probably slaps him around a little to get him to focus-

JUDE: -AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA oh ok-

[ She is going down... and through. The wall. There is suddenly a big hole and splintered wood where the cabinet used to be. ]

JOHN: ohh....sorry!

JOHN: -yells-

JOHN: -also he flops on the floor. like a dead fish- uhhh...CAN SOMEONE HELP UNTIE ME?

KANKRI: -He is rushing over to John now that he is on the ground.- I can certainly d9 as much!

JOHN: my hero~

JOHN: (hehehehhe)

GUY: -Ducks Roses bolt and holds up a frying pan to deflect another.- That's my cue! -Exit, stage left-

MEULIN: -Hello darkness my old friend....-

KANKRI: -Brandishes his tiny knife to cut away the rubber around John's ankles.- Y9u may make hum9rus and witty j9kes 9nce we are 9ut 9f this mess.

ROSE: No! God damn it, get back here, coward!

JOHN: -holds up his wrists next- aahhh! -strains his neck- aaww he's getting away!!!

JAMISON: =Drone: HACKED. He's HAMMERING the lever and turning the dials it's gonna wail on those zombies=

JOHN: -IMPATIENTLY WATCHES THIS-

[ The drone with a toaster sticking out of its back is twitching and convolsing and SPARKING, flinging its limbs at zomblers and mashing them into body parts. ]

DUALSCAR: =He will drop and roll out of the hurtling drone's path. Once it has crashed into a wall or ground or wherever else he is going to jump at it to shard some eyeholes.=

DUALSCAR: =Gotta fuck up those circuits.=

ROSE: -She jumps off the coutner and ATTEMPTS TO CHASE HIM DOWN- We can't stay here fighting these fucking things anyways!

[Zombies start to swarm the group. Hear them hurgling while getting destroyed by a hacked drone. Their crispy appendages reach for any flesh]

KANKRI: -Sorry his knife is terrible, but hes cutting as fast as he can!! Feet are free time for the wrists.- I kn9w it might 6e difficult 6ut try t9 remain very still while I wield this sharp 96ject. -Wrists take half the time and soon John is free!-

JOHN: you're the best, buddy! -he's gonna hoist kankri under his arm and fly to pick up anybody else that's lagging behind. that's why he has two arms!-(edited)

JOHN: ally oop! let's go!

KANKRI: -HRGK he is HOISTED.-

KANKRI: -He never fully enjoys being flown around by john but this is absolutely an exception to the rule.-

JAMISON: Oh... RIGHT-O!

JAMISON: =RIPS the toaster out of the drone and chases down GUY=

JOHN: -eenie meenie miney...JUDE! he divebombs. you're coming with him!-

KANKRI: -Hello fellow wimp.-

JUDE: -THIS IS FINE-

[Don't forget the cat. Someone help her.]

MEULIN: -Okay so riding a drone into a wall didn't turn out super great. She's got boards piled on her and there's definitely some olive leaking. Super disoriented, and having a hard time breathing through pie. Maybe even choking on pie??-

KANKRI: -Looking down at all the fried living dead- (J9hn I have c9me t9 the c9nclusi9n that I am n9t a full fledged fan 9f y9ur h9mew9rld in the state 9f g9vernment and envir9ntment that it is.)(edited)

JOHN: -Uh oh. He's gotta go back for Meulin-

JOLENE: -SHE'S ALSO HERE TO SAVE PEOPLE-

DUALSCAR: =Was he able to get at the drone, or was it smashed up already?=

JOHN: -OK COOL. HE TRUSTS JOLENE. NYOOMS THE FUCK OUTTA THERE.-

[The drone is sufficiently fucked up. Look into anger management maybe, Dualscar???]

JOLENE: -punching and stabbing through zombies, paving a way for the rest of them traveling on foot. is everybody following?? she looks around to make sure nobody is left behind-

DUALSCAR: =Never??? His anger fuels him. He draws his improv weapon away from the drone and hops off of it. If someone is left behind while Jolene carves a path he is gonna hoist them onto his bara fish shoulders.=

MEULIN: -THAT WOULD BE HER. She got pretty fucked up.-

[ POOR KITTY ]

[ oh dang scene transition is a GO ]

[She need some milk]

[ There are some sirens howling. Turns out, being humiliated in front of the empress was a PRETTY BIG DEAL, and that huge, ominous blimp is the first thing they see as they bust out the exit on stage left-- onto a massive bridge across NIAGRA FALLS. They are majestic, beautiful, awe-inspiring... and blood red. Filled with little... bits, here and there. The blinding lights shine on them as something buzzes overhead-- more drones. And what appears to be fighters of some kind. John would begin to recognize them immediately-- they were, after all, deployed on Europa. ]

JOHN: -Casually can't breath. There is no oxygen going to his brain. He keeps flying anyway.-

JOHN: -In fact, he flies faster. This terrifies him.-

KANKRI: -John no. Are you alright.-

ROSE: -She's become fairly single-minded. Directly after Fieri and no one else, well ahead of the rest of the group, crackling and flying through the air.-

JOHN: -At first he was going after Fieri, but now that he realizes how surrounded they are, he's panicking andj ust wants to get everyone to safety, scanning for a place to hide. His flying is a little off kilter because of how fast he's going and he's holding on to Kankri and Jude very tight.-

MEULIN: -She's regaining her senses bit by bit, clinging onto Dualscar and bleeding out from she's not even sure where until she's aware of a distinct pain in her shoulder, hissing and burbling through whipped cream.-

KANKRI: -Hes clinging to John just as tight, looking between him and the bloody red water beneath them.- I kn9w this may 6e a f99lish questi9n right n9w c9nsidering what has happened and currently is happening, 6ut are y9u 9kay, J9hn? -He has a concern.-

[ The question is punctuated by an explosion. They're going FAST, but it was still too close for comfort, as one of the fighters zips by just overhead. ]

KANKRI: -WELP NOPE PROBABLY NOT OKAY.-

GUY: -Play time is over! A red and black hedgehog would agree. Guy has been made a mockery, but this failure its small compared to the feats he's accomplished for the empire. Standing atop the bridge he awaits Rose. She's coming in hot, but not as hot as these spicy beef wellington pizza pockets he's flinging at her!-

DUALSCAR: =Rushin' after the group with a injured cat and a passed out clown. The spices must have really hecked up Gamzee's systems somehow. His spiced hands feel numb, but he's here to FIGHT... But he has to hold onto these noodles. The gurgling is a unwelcome familiarity. He has to bind the injury. Are they still being chased?=

JOHN: -BOOM. Oh man, he's sweating and he can't help but cry out a little when the explosions sounds too close, sure in that moment they're going to be vaporized. But when he can still feel his fingers clenching around them, he puts all his focus and energy in to sweeping away, occasionally glancing up at the fighters to try and stay out of their trajectory as best he can. Sorry Kankri, he couldn't talk right now if he wanted to.-

[The zomblers are no match for everyone's tremendous speed. They shuffle, way off in the distance]

ROSE: -SHE CAN SMELL THE CHEESE FROM HERE...-

ROSE: -She has to skid against the ground, flinging each pocket away from striking her directly in the face with a dramatic twist of her wrists, psionics flaring as she conjures an electric tendril in the air and attempts to slam it down on him.-

JOLENE: -YEAH!! EAT OUR DUST ZOMBIES!!-

DUALSCAR: =Puts Gamzee down on the ground.=

GAMZEE: =Wet noodle hitting the ground SFX.=

DUALSCAR: =Carefully sets Meulin down to wipe cream out of her face and also locate that injury.= HEY. STAY WWITH ME NOWW.

JOLENE: -keeps DS covered and will give him a heads up if anything comes swoocing at them-

DUALSCAR: =Thank you Jolene. Swoocing is bad. [SIC].=

MEULIN: -Licks her lips, coughing intermittently and ears pinned back as she tries to focus her gaze on him, wincing and tearing up.- I'M. I'M OKAY. -Seems like most of her injuries are superficial, such as the pretty bad gash on her shoulder, but if he looks, it seems like a pretty big bruise is forming on her back. Might be some bruised or broken ribs.-

GUY: -He proves to be an agile motherfucker. Dodge rolling away and producing a minigun that fires lil smokies and pizza rolls. TAKE THIS-

ROSE: Why on earth would ANY HUMAN BEING CREATE THAT?

MEULIN: HEY. I USED MY TAIL TO GET OUT. THAT WAS PURRETTY COOL, RIGHT?

JAMISON: =FIGHTING THINGS!!=

ROSE: -PELTED BY PIZZA ROLLS. She's gotta stay light on her feet, too, light as in IN THE AIR as she strafes around this rapid fire. it's just like in DOOM-

JOHN: -He is still desperately weaving, trying to get away from those fighters. This is def. in the top two the most terrifying experiences of his life :') -

DUALSCAR: =It doesn't appear like she is going to black out, so that's good. Though it might just be adrenaline.= 'TWWAS PRETTY EXTRAORDINARY, HOWWEVVER THAT AIN'T SOMETHIN' NEWW WWITH YE, NOWW IS IT? =Talks while tearing his god awful fire pattern shirt up into shreds for improv bandages.=

GAMZEE: =Stirring on the ground, fingers twitching and ears moving at all the noise.=

GUY: Would you look at that! She slices, she dices, she can fly? Now that's some amazing food. -The gun morphs into a bazooka and KABOOM, Cajun spiced turkey flying at Rose-

KANKRI: -Oh same John.-

JAMISON: =Is there something he can CHUCK... wait...... is this troll fellow okay? Ceases his yelling to look at him=

ROSE: I would call nothing you cook edible in any sense of the word. -ENERGY BLAST AT THE TURKEY. It outright explodes.-

MEULIN: I CAN'T READ THAT-- -Huffs, coughing once.- THAT MUCH, SO I'M GOING TO PURRTEND YOU SAID "YES, IT WAS FURRY COOL. CONCATULATIONS"...

MEULIN: THANKS.

[ There isn't much to chuck, Jamison, but John is MOSTLY distracting them. ALBEIT IN A TERRIFIED WAY. There's a service entry of some kind-- all the way on the other side of the bridge, though. Not too far from where Rose and Fieri are fighting, anyways. ]

GUY: Everything I make is a deliciosity of moneyriffic proportions. -BOOM A sizzling shrimp fajita platter bathed in ranch-

JAMISON: =Good, he'll throw the SERvICE ENTRY=

GUY: Your efforts to thwart forward progress of population control and cannibalism is noted and appreciated, but down right doomed to fail!

DUALSCAR: =Tilts her upward to start applying the strips. He binds them hard to stop her bleeding. Nods.= YER MOST WWELCOME.

GAMZEE: =Very slowly moves his hands underneath himself to push himself off of the ground. He's full of spice and confusion. He spots Meulin being treated-- bleeding, then around the area at all the fighting. Back to Meulin. His eyes are widening, shocked and confused-- but more than anything; angry.=

ROSE: I WOULD FAR PREFER EATING AT ARBY'S TO CONSUMING THIS. -It's time to get in for some good old fashioned CLOSE COMBAT. If she can't blast him from afar she'll stab him with his own MEAT SKEWERS-

JOHN: aaAAAAAAh -STOP SHOOTING AT ME YOU GIGANTIC SHIT HEELS!!!

[ NO. THEY DON'T LIKE YOU JOHN ]

KANKRI: -WELL HE DOESNT LIKE THEM EITHER.-

JOHN: -he knows it won't do any good but it's at least therapeutic to scream. He's still yelling his head off as he goes for a feint and then NYOOMS, trying to make it to the other side of the bridge in hopes that there will be cover of some sort-

MEULIN: -The nod is good enough; she smiles wide, eyes happy little slits, and it takes her a few beats too long to notice Gamzee nearby, head lolling his direction and her breaths shallow.- GAM-- GAMZ33?

GUY: I can't fault you for that. They've got THE MEATS. Now serving people meats! -This fight is now up close and personal. He brandishes his deadly pineapple club, taking a huge bite before whacking at Rose.-

[ There IS a door, even if it appears to be locked. A roof would definitely provide some kind of cover! ]

JAMISON: Oh! Good you're alright! =At Gamzee= Now we have to do something about THOSE flyers.

JAMISON: I'll start throwing tiles from that roof!

JOHN: -haha...there's a door. JOHN IS SHOVING BOTH HIS FEET INTO IT AS HE FLIES AT HIGH SPEEDS-

JAMISON: =Oh.=

ROSE: -HRK. She is struck in the side and tumbles pretty hard against the ground, wheezing, but manages to make it a roll and thrust both electric stabs at his side.-

JAMISON: =OH=

KANKRI: -This is so reckless, John.-

JAMISON: =GETS A RUNNING START, if the flyers get low enough he'll JUMP ON ONE=

[ B B B B B BUSTIN MAKES ME FEEL GOOD ] [ His feet slam into the door and it bashes open in a tremendous display of MANGRIT. It looks... familiar. Flashes of memory from being drugged-- THIS is the meat processing plant. ]

JOHN: -Oh ew. But he's going to collapse to the floor for a second as he has a mini heart attack.-

[ This troll's eyes go wide. Not you. ANYONE BUT YOU. It's the exact same troll from that truck who Jamison fired at potato gun at, flying a ship.]

JOLENE: oh boy....... -there goes jamison, but she takes note of john and friends. gestures at dualscar, gamzee and meulin to follow her as she follows HIM.- let's keep moving!!!! -before they get exploded-

SOME GUY: A|H|H|H|H|H|H|H|H|H|H|H|!!!!!!!!!!!

JAMISON: HELLO OLD FIEND!!! =PUNCHES THE WINDSHIELD= HAWHAWHAW MOVE OVER!

KANKRI: -His feet hit the ground as John collapses, and hes lighting quick to try and support him to keep John from going all the way to the ground.-

JOHN: -WHEEZES...WHEEZES...WHEEZES...0

JOHN: okay! we're

JOHN: going!

-CHEERFUL YELL. Off he goes. -

KANKRI: -HHHHHHs about John's current state of being.-

JUDE: -flops onto the floor... then scrambles up again on lanky legs, looking around wildly-

JOHN: -at least they're not being exploded yet.-

KANKRI: J9hn please wait f9r just 9ne m9ment, I think we can aff9rd as much f9r right n9w, are y9u certain y9u are alright??

GUY: Haha. Pineapple club. Works every --AAAAUUUUUGH!!! -The skewers find their mark sizzling the air around them AND Guy. The pungent, but distinct, smell of mango habanero chicken wings fills Roses nostrils. Guy stumbles, but he grabs ROSES face, applying a disgusting amount of pressure.-

JOHN: YES!!! -he didn't mean to be so loud. his response to stress is shouting.-

[ He shrieks as this crazy old man bashes through his window. THIS IS THE WORST. THIS WEEK IS THE WORST WEEK EVER.]

KANKRI: -Marge simpson noises. Fine but hes going to help you keep standing less john keels over again.-

JAMISON: =RRRRRRRRRRRATTLES HIM, IT'S FIGHT NIGHT=

JOHN: -Now that he's got himself going he's just briskly jogging. He doesn't know where they're going anymore he's just GOING.-

ROSE: -HISSES AS SHE FEELS HIS GROSS MEATY HANDS ON HER HEAD, eyes crackling as a sudden BEAM blasts through those fingers.-

GAMZEE: =He's quite literally seeing red. Who hurt her? What in the motherfuck is going on? Where's Kankri? Is he hurt too? Before he gets a chance to speak however-=

DUALSCAR: I HEAR YE. =Picks up Meulin, and without asking picks up the now concious clown.= HANG ON, AN' DON'T YE FALL ASLEEP ON ME. =Rushes after.=

GAMZEE: =His eyes are now fixated on Meulin, big and red, watching her breathe and the bandage on her shoulder. He isn't saying anything.=

KANKRI: -Oop or not, Watches as John jogs ahead. Hes still concerned but now hes taking a moment to look around for his other quad. How far back is Gamzee anyways?-

KANKRI: -Kankri is all the way at the service entry.-

[ The pilot shakes, rattles, and rolls, as the controls go WILD. The ship seems to be going down-- right onto the bridge. IT CRASHES HARD, the ground crumbling as he is DEFINITELY DEAD. Good thing Jamison is so tough. ]

JOHN: -CATCHES UP TO JOLENE- hey! do you know where rose is?

ROSE: - As the ground under them shakes and Fieri loses a few fingers, Rose shakes herself free, lunging forward. She jabs both needles into his eyes and launches them BOTH over the falls. -(edited)

MEULIN: -This is... wrong. She can tell-- he hasn't looked at her like this before. There's so much going on and she doesn't resist Dualscar, but she's afraid of something else suddenly.- GAMZ33??

GUY: -He yells in agony. That was his good hand. Now it's charred and smelling of tacos al pastor. He screams as they go over, using his good hand to beat on her mercilessly-

JAMISON: =Pops out the rubble like a daisy in spring= ......Wait a minute.... where is everyone? CONSARNIT JAMI! =RUNS OFF, time to search=

JOLENE: -HOBBLES TO MEET JOHN- last i saw her she was going after fieri???

ROSE: -She ignores that, driving them as far into his head as she can. AT SOME POINT SHE'S DESTINED TO HIT BRAIN, but not before they disappear into the mists of the falls.-

[ Better hurry, Jamison. That whole bridge is starting to come down, cracks running all the way down the dam. Something is taking some SERIOUS damage from that crash. ]

JOHN: ugh.....i should go back and look for her! -he doesn't ask anybody permission. he just NYOOMS, staying close tot he ground in the hope of avoiding detection.-

JOHN: -he comes out to the sound of the bridge crashing-

GUYS: -Beats on her head like a bongo for his last moments of living-

JOLENE: wait, john! -there he goes- dammit!!!

JAMISON: =He's here and lightly charred, John ZOOMing bye knocked some dust off him=

[That bridge is going DOWN. Chunks are disappearing into the water as the flow intensifies. Looks like there's no going back. I mean. THERE COULD BE BUT IT'S MOSTLY ZOMBIES OVER THERE AND IT'D REALLY JUST BE JOHN]

[Zombies wave like "Hey"]

JOHN: ROSE!!!!!

JOHN: ROOooooOOOOOSE!!! -SCREAMS AT THE TOP OF HIS LUNGS, looking around for her-

GAMZEE: MOTHER FUCKING BLASPHEMES HAVE THEIR WICKED MITTS BROUGHT MISERY TO WHA-- =Is josteled by a shoulder NUDGE from Dualscar, which makes him let out a startled hiss.=

DUALSCAR: TOLD YE WWHOLE LOT NOT TA FUCKIN' FREAK OUT. THAT INCLUDES RELIGIOUS SHIT. =Stares ahead at the disappearing bridge and swears. Hopefully people are okay???=

GAMZEE: =The biggest frowny sneer.= none hands to be laid upon who matter without repent.

MEULIN: ARE YOU OKAY?? -she's still having a hard time reading his lips, but his expression seems clue enough to her that he's not so okay.- WHAT'S WRONG?

KANKRI: -With John having flown out, Kankri is following back towards the exit as far as he can, until he is distracted with the grumpy clown with Meulin and Dualscar. He skids to a stop and very quickly changes course for the time being to place a hand on Gamzee's shoulder to check on him.- 9h thank g99dness y9u are finally fully c9nci9us.

[ No response from the falls, but as John flies out, the remaining airships DEFINITELY NOTICE HIM. WHOOSH. ]

JOHN: -Oh shit. He's going to casually SPRINT BACK INSIDE-

JOHN: -iF HE MAKES IT-

[ There are a few more rumbles, but he DOES. ]

JOHN: -uguugughHHHH WHERE IS ROSE-???

JOHN: i didn't see her out there! -sprinting to catch up to the group-

[ Anyways as I was saying before but kinda forgot about, this place looks... familiar, now that they're inside of it. They're at some kind of maintenance area, sure, on an overhead part of the facility, with some shelves containing supply and upkeep essentials-- some SPECIAL STARDUST, a thing of face paint. A big mask and... a personal compuer, that appears to be on. It actually looks like halfway between a computer and an arcade cabinet, with the gastly image of some kind of HORRID CLOWN MAN as the desktop background. ]

https://i.ytimg.com/vi/C_OExLzEReE/maxresdefault.jpg

JUDE: -shivers looking at all of this- (why......)

GAMZEE: =This was a whole new world of feeling. Having himself get this worked up about something. It's as if he's being filled with one singular feeling-- purpose, but it's ebbing. Ebbing as Meulin speaks-- is able to speak. She's still injured however, and he cannot forgive that. Then there's Kankri's voice, suddenly, and his head snaps from one to the other. Ears high and eyes wide, less red, now orange.= SAME OF HE AND SHE. all in the concious, none in the right. SOME HORROR SHOW WHAT WE ALL BEAR TO WIT-- =Looks at all of this stuff like: http://vignette4.wikia.nocookie.net/mspaintadventures/images/4/45/Gamzee.png/revision/latest?cb=20130109035508 = DUALSCAR: =He's gonna set Gamzee down now that he's all rowdy, jesus. Squints at everything and frowns deeply, muttering under his breath in a voice and expression someone might have while faced with something rancid.= CLOWWNS.

[ Just some emergency clown supplies and an emergency clown computer.]

JOHN: -he's just vibrating. Very distressed about not being able to go out and look for Rose. He keeps staring back at the door longingly.-

KANKRI: -All this emergency clown supplies are very eerie and creepy. He's stick close to Gamzee's side, and you bet your butt he's still holding his knife down at his side.-

MEULIN: -Keeps clinging onto Dualscar for now... the whole breathing thing just doesn't feel great at the moment. Gamzee looks a little better, and she takes his sudden pause as the moment to do the same and peers around.- WE-- SHOULDN'T BE IN HERE, -she decides pretty immediately.-

[Welcome to the CIRCUS OF VALUE hyuck!]

JOLENE: -maybe they shouldn't be, but she's going to raid these shelves for anything she can weaponize... maybe there's chemicals she can mix to make bombs? anything she can STAB things with?? she can always throw special stardust in people's faces if she has to...-

JAMISON: =This facepaint.... is it flammable? Eh. Either way he's going to break into this clown computer and make weapons from it's parts=

[Jolene, you the real mvp. Mostly just clown supplies so the face paint. You can guess what that is....]

JOHN: i wonder if they're waiting at the back entrance too. -though he doesn't reall ywant to leave anyway tbh. he's still wondering if they're going to bomb the place.-

[ The back entrance would appear to lead further into the factory-- it is also the only way out of this particular little utility closet slash maintenance area. ]

JUDE: we should

JUDE: set this place on fire

JAMISON: =SLAPS Jude's back= Atta boy! Agreed!

[ The stuff isn't really super useful for weapons or anything, no, but they can collect what they like.]

JAMISON: =Can he collect broken glass? He's gonna=

JOHN: -paces around tensley and then whips out his comm. He's going to try and text Rose.-

KANKRI: -Hes frowning.- Prefera6ly when we, and any 9ther p9ssi6le individuals within the area, are at a safer distance.

[ HE CAN INDEED]

KANKRI: Ars9n is quite danger9us.

ROSE: -DOES NOT TEXT BACK-

[Ghosted]

JOHN: we're in the "meat" processing plant!!! let me know you're okay when you read this!!!

JOLENE: -looks around, then just pushes through the back door into the factory- well, we definitely can't go back! come on. -it's okay kids, she will protect you all.-

JAMISON: Only way to progress is to move forward never back! =Remember when that was his slogan 30 years ago?=

JOHN: what about rose, though? she still isn't here.

JOHN: -trying his best not to sound panicked. WHAT IF SHE GOT BLOWN UP. WHAT IF GUY FIERI ATE HER BUTT???-

JAMISON: =....claps John on the shoulder= Buck up there old boy, no man left we just need to comb for her properly!

[ It's a bit of a walk, and there ARE some stairs down this hallway, leading to an office... of a sort. It's incredibly garish and slightly fleshy, but they can see the factory they were actually in not terribly long ago... and a conveyor belt with some incredibly ominous red stains on it. Red flashing lights are blaring warnings, and the place looks like it's been evacuated... except for the biomechanical computer just by the window. ]

[ There's some kind of holographic display on it, but it's flashing, and hard to actually focus on. ]

[It looks... kind of like a motherfuckin' MIRACLE, it does. ]

http://vignette2.wikia.nocookie.net/mspaintadventures/images/9/91/MiracleModus.png/revision/latest?cb=20140112005838

JOLENE: -nod nod- it isn't safe for us to stay in one place either... once we get our bearings, we have a better chance of finding her.

JOHN: -UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGH MENTAL ANGUISH- yeah....ok that makes sense.

JOHN: :D

JOLENE: -STARES AT ALL THIS-

JAMISON: =strongly squeeze shoulder in support=

JOHN: -TURNS HIS ATTENTION TO...WHATEVER THIS IS-

JAMISON: What the dickens is all this mess???

[ Those colors are TRANSFIXING. And... there's a lot of information it's imparting. A lot of THINGS. Some of those things are THEIR things, weirdly enough? ]

[ The clown text is pretty much fucking illegible, but there are some big buttons just under the modus display, along with another half of the machine dedicated to some more mundane, but still hard to read information. ]

[ What can be made out of the right half of the computer, it appears to be a manifest for cargo ships, hauling some "jerky" to other parts of the world. ]

[While the left half contains contraband used as "evidence" against the "incarcerated" humans here. ]

JAMISON: MY OLE BUSTER! We should also lift one of those jerky ships!

JOLENE: good idea! but first... -approaches the machine, inspecting the buttons before deducing which would be the one to eject their items- heads up! -ANTICIPATES IT ALL FLYING OUT if it works, because thats how fetch moduses are sometimes.-

JOHN: -it's a good thing he didn't still have that grand piano in his sylladex-

[ It is sort of flying out! It is also sort of like a big awful PILE. Pretty much everyone is buried in ASSORTED BULLSHIT. ]

JAMISON: =he sure hopes one of his grenade pins didn't get pulled ..=

[ No, but there's a BIG GUN. And some clothes that aren't awful. IT IS A MIRACLE]

JAMISON: =puts his weapons back in order=

JOEY: =john what the heck man=

JOHN: -BURIED IN ASSORTED BULLSHIT-

JUDE: -HIS STUFF! now he really COULD burn down the building if he wanted to...-

JOHN: -sadly notices that the rest of their cake got smushed-

JOHN: -starts haphazardly scooping stuff back into his sylladex-

JOEY: =She's trying to find her stuff specifically, but it's all such a mess, she's gathering what she can and hoping people pick up her junk too=

JOLENE: -gathers her stuff quickly too, but she wont fuss too much if she grabs someone else's or doesnt get all of hers... shes inspecting the manifest at the same time, memorizing where the cargo bay is so she can lead them there.-

JOHN: -Yeah if anyone else doesn't find their stuff, John is just throwing it in his so it'll be safe.-

[ CONSIDER YOURSELF RE-ARMED. There are some winding hallways, but Jolene can tell which way will lead them down to the hangar-- though they likely don't have long, as some Trolls bust in on foot through the factory floor. ]

JOLENE: -she'll bust a cap in their behinds then!!! but first, she points ahead where they need to go first- everybody down that way!!

JAMISON: =THE GUNS ARE OUT AND THE SUNS OUT but he'll help herd them onward. HE WILL SHOOT AND PUNCH=

JOEY: =she's rifling through her deck and she's pvcpipekind now= ugggggh =I GUESS!!=

[ IT'S BETTER THAN NOTHING!!!! ]

[ There is a muffled cry of THEY'RE OVER THERE from down one of the halls as they hurry to the hangar, but fortunately, with a bit of a hustle going, it's not too far of a run. ]

JOEY: =do you see these legs? THEY'RE PUMPING! THEY'RE PUMPED FOR ACTION!! =

JOLENE: -at some point makes her way back to the front of the pack to lead them into the hangar. awooo.-

JAMISON: =AWOO INDEED, he's SHOOTING at the trolls chasing them because HE'S GONNA SHOOT SOMETHING!=

[Dude]

[Honestly, Jamison gets splatted in the face with a honey chipotle chicken tender on the sole grounds of being "that guy"]

JAMISON: =SPLAT=

[ u should see the other guy ]

[well, he is very dead]

JOEY: Dad!

[He's dead. The other guy, that is,]

[ Someone's going to have to fly this thing. Prepped for flight and ONLY delayed so that it could ship the remains of the rebels after the show. Probably best to just. Dump all the current cargo tbh. It's a pretty big airship, enough room for everyone, even if it'll be a little bit cramped.]

JAMISON: =Actually this smells pretty good.... but he doesn't horf it down. Instead brings up the rear to USHER people in=

JOLENE: -AGGRESSIVELY CLEARS OUT THIS SHIP'S CARGO. blech!!!!!!!!!!!!-

JAMISON: Into the skies ahoy!! =He's the pirate now Dualscar, pewpew shooty at approaching trolls if they were FOOLISH enough to keep coming=

[ THEY WERE, TO BE CERTAIN. Their cargo door is sorta hanging open, and it's not as fast as the fighters in the air-- the ones that are curiously not intercepting them right now.]

[ Probably because a few of them are on fire and crashing. WEIRD. ]

ROSE: -a very bloody red thing rockets through the door as it's closing-- skidding and tumbling and more or less passing out directly on the floor of the plane.-

JAMISON: =SO WEIR--!!!= Heavens to Besty!

ROSE: -she's out like a light-

JOEY: rose!!

JOLENE: !!! -bends down to tend to her-

JOHN: - PROBABLY MEDICAL ATTENTION ING SHE AND MEULIN now that he has his bag again-

[🎵 We're so glad to have met you. We're sad we failed to melt you. We'll eat you next time, we promise. But for now, this round is on us. 🎵]

#tenebrousThorns #effluentBalatron #circuitousgrievance #temulentcachinnation #cannonadeAstriction #ardentcupid #gardylooTheroid #guardeniaGadgeteer #euphobicGeotech #gyratingEonian

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