#oh my god i love these...... the helmet one kind of rules a lot

[stormberry-12]

faceless // P3: yes sir. negative ~ charles leclerc x reader

pairing: charles leclerc x fem!driver!reader

includes/authors notes: language, lack of equal rights/ gender equality, readers an unknown figure in the races, fem!reader's gender assumed as male, use of "y/n". So sorry this took so long, I've had some mega writters block and no motivation really. But I hope it's still good and thank you so much for all the kind feedback, it means a lot! <3

Bold Italics are the past.

Normal Italics are thoughts.

summary: "There is a new mysterious driver on the grid. Nobody knows who he is, the only thing we know is that he races for Red Bull with the number 66. Other drivers call him the faceless driver for none have ever seen his face or heard him speak. The faceless driver is a legend in the making and even giving Lewis Hamilton and Max Verstappen a run for their money…”

"No fucking way mate," Lando choked out his words, "Holy fuck-" 

Lando's face had never looked so shocked, he scratched the inner corner of his left eye as if he thought he was seeing something. And when his eyes focused back on you, you could see his mind filling with questions. His eyes flickered from the helmet sitting on the ground to the tears brimming in your eyes.

"Oh my god," you sobbed into your hands as your mind began to race. 

Should you run away? 

'Oh, sorry Lando, no you must have seen my celebrity doppelganger in the suit earlier. It wasn't me-"

"No wait, don't cry-" he protested, rushing over and crouching down next to you on the ground, "You're my idol, I'm like obsessed with your driving, you're frickin' amazing-"

"Oh, shut up Lando!" you snapped, instantly feeling bad for yelling in his face. He was silent for a moment, not taken aback by your outburst though. "Sorry," you whispered.

You looked up to see him scanning your face intently. "You haven't told Charles yet," he said matter-of-factly like he could read your life all of a sudden.

You shook your head.

"Who else knows?"

"Just you and Christian-"

"Heh, I'm so special,"

"Lando stop!" you cried quietly, feeling more tears forming. "You weren't supposed to find out and I'm so going to get fired for this-"

"Why would you be fired?" he asked,  "You're the driver keeping Red Bull afloat right now while Max is shittin' the bed,"

"Because. It's part of my contract that no one knows who I am,"

"Who came up with that shit?"

You furrowed your eyebrows at him, "What shit?"

"Your contract rules," he said.

"We both did. I didn't want to be in the media, I've never liked it. And Christian just agreed I guess-"

"But you and Charles were just in a video together, you've been doing media anyway," He chuckled dryly.

True.

"And you and Charles love each other, I can see it in your eyes, I don't think the media content is going to stop anytime soon. Frankly, they will ask you to do more now that you've already agreed once."

Also true.

"I understand that privacy is important to you but..."

"Yeah, I know, I know... you're right," you said, wiping tears away from under your eyes, thinking back to the tweets you had just read, "After the video went out I was expecting so much worse but nothing happened, I might need to take a chill pill."

"Maybe..." he said slowly. "And why should-"

"-I care what people on the internet think of me?" you stole the words right out of Lando's mouth, a smile growing on his face. "Charles tells me that every time I don't help with his Twitch streams,"

"Right, you're thinking like a media-trained F1 driver already!" he grinned. "Except, I don't think you're getting enough credit for your racing because you keep that helmet on all the damn time. Just one guy's opinion though,"

You hummed in response, getting lost in your own mind again.

"I won't tell a soul, I promise," He crossed his hand over his heart, "Scouts honor,"

For some reason, you felt you could trust Lando. You gave him a small smile and let your shoulders relax, taking deep breaths to calm your nerves. He stood up and offered you his hand, you took it gladly and rose to your feet. "I think you should talk to Christian about it,"

"I will, thanks Lan,"

"No problem," he winked, slowly stepping away, "And for what it's worth I truly meant what I said before. You're amazing, don't let them push you around or tell you otherwise. You gotta pave the way for all the little girls out there."

That shook you to your core. 

You had never thought about your career that way and it bothered you how oblivious you had been.

How could you not realize the impact you could be making for the girls who dream of racing just like you had? Who cared what some old guy on the internet thought about women in motorsport, he needed to grow up. And you needed to make a difference. It was all sliding into place.

Also, since when had Lando been that well-spoken in his life?

After a quick 'See you on track,' you and Lando parted ways towards your respected garages. Pulling your helmet over your face, you stepped out of the alleyway and marched towards the blue and red signs of the Red Bull garage.

Christian gave you a look through your visor as you walked up to the car, you just nodded, he hated it when you were late. You climbed into the car and tried to shake the nerves out of your body, you could see a camera in your peripherals, panning the garage and landing on you. 

Pave the way Y/n.

This newfound purpose gave you anxiety but at the same time a different kind of drive to your craft. You could feel the car hum beneath you, grateful for the all-clear from the team, you exited the garage to start warming up your tires.

"Radio check, you ready for this?"

"Yep. Copy." 

Shit, that sounded forced didn't it? Why were you acting so weird? Be yourself Y/n.

"Ah, not going to humor me today? That's too bad mate," Rick chuckled.

"Don't know why but it smells like barbeque in the car,"

"You've got a problem, change your fucking carrrr,"

"No, you change your car because Checo has been saying the car is fucked-"

This had Ricky howling with laughter over the mic.

"Okay, that's enough lads." Christian stepped in, pulling the plug on you and Rick mocking him.

"Fun police..." Ricky sighed.

"I'm not a fun police, do your job Richard."

"You are a fun police, I have it on record. I hAvE it, I hAve iT pRiNteD oUt!"

"66."

"Sorry." you replied, giggling to yourself and waving back at Lando as you passed.

"Damn it!" Charles cursed stomping towards the Ferrari garage. He had just spun out two races in a row and had to, unfortunately, retire from the race.

Walking into the garage he could feel all eyes on him as he stuffed his gloves and balaclava into his helmet angrily. A few engineers and his trainer gave him a reassuring pat on the shoulder as he walked past, but no one dared to interact with Charles while he was this livid.

He needed y/n.

She was who he always needed after a bad race, he walked to his driver's room remembering the spin-out from his previous race hoping that y/n would actually be there this time.

"Where's y/n?"

"I don't know mate, sorry. She disappeared a while ago," an engineer named Fred shrugged.

But of course, as he opened the door she was nowhere to be found once again. Thoughts ran through his mind a hundred miles per minute

Had she always left after he got into the car and never actually watched him race?

Is he not as important to her as she made it seem?

Was she just in this for the money like a few of the girls he had been with before?

No, y/n isn't like that. He told himself, but still, he felt that pang of uncertainty in his chest. It would certainly be the reason why whenever he asked for her opinion on his performance it was almost as if she didn't remember what happened, she would just nod, smile, and agree with whatever he said.

Charles sat down on the couch and shut the door to his room. The TV had the race on and he watched the 19 remaining cars complete lap after lap. 

He couldn't watch this anymore...

"Ohh! That was a nasty hit from Verstappen from behind- SOMEONE HAS SPUN INTO THE WALL AND IT LOOKS TO BE THE OTHER RED BULL!"

"Oh my, it is! I can tell you right now Crofty, Christian Horner is not going to be pleased about that,"

"The race has just been red-flagged and we are currently awaiting more news on the second Red Bull driver. Here's a replay, there's Max Verstappen in third and his teammate ahead of him in second."

"And Verstappen was told to hold position because both drivers were in the podium places, Max is slightly slower than his teammate with very worn tires, but he pushes them anyway and tries to go for the very forced overtake. And there it is! Now why does he swerve into his teammate?!? This is mind-boggling to me-"

Charles looked up from his phone and back to the television. A bright 66 is painted on the Red Bull that is in pieces on the edge of the track. And as the camera zooms into the smoking race car, the eerie silence in Charles's driver's room makes his chest tighten slightly.

"Oh dear, it seems we have no verbal conformation from the driver so as you can see the medical car has made it's way to the scene."

Charles watches the unconscious driver slowly get pulled from the car and layed on a stretcher right there on the side of the track. They lift the visor of his helmet and shine a light across the driver's face as their eyes flutter awake. Beautiful eyes that Charles had engraved in his brain from the moment he met her.

previous chapter // next chapter

[valkyrieandstrangeridingaragorn]

What are your favourite moments of Steve Rogers in the MCU?

Oh, so many! I'm going to only mention a few because if I mention them all.... you'd get the longest ask in Tumblr history 😜

This is the moment he became my favourite Avenger:

I joined the MCU with AoU in 2015 so I watched the previous movies out of order. When I saw this scene I remember thinking "Yep, I'm sorry Thor but you're 2nd now, this guy is my #1 Avenger from now on!" 😂

In TFA, most people will point out the "I don't like bullies, I don't care where they're from" and don't get me wrong, I love that line. But I would choose the dialogue that happens right before that one:

Steve: "Where are you from?" Erskine: "Queens. 73rd Street and Utopia Parkway. Before that, Germany. This troubles you?" Steve: "No."

It's a small thing but I can't imagine many people being so accepting of German citizens at the time, and the fact that Steve didn't mind at all proved he was a smart man, way before he got that serum.

Another is in AoU:

Dunno, it's a kind of self-awareness that I really like about him.

Do deleted scenes count?

I love this one because he doesn't get mad even though he's the exact opposite of a fascist. He takes off the helmet and focuses on helping people who probably hate him or (what they think) he represents. He doesn't do it for himself nor does he try to get any recognition or anything, hell if he could have taken off his suit right then and there he would have done it. He just went to Sokovia to help, that's all that mattered to him. And if the people he was saving hated him... so what?

This glorious moment...

How can anyone not love this man? What is not to love?!! No, really.

I love this part in AoU because he knows he can lift it but he's pretending not to and that means 1) he's the sweetest thing alive, 2) he wants to prove himself to himself, he doesn't need other people's approval, 3) he doesn't want to rule Asgard just in case that whole thing was real and he got in a lot of trouble for lifting a freaking magic hammer.

(Also, I love him in that blue shirt. That blue shirt gives me life.)

These two brutes (affectionately for Thor, not so much for Stark) going at it like kids until Steve shows up and stops it. This is fresh-from-the-ice Steve who has found out recently that aliens are on Earth, but he's acting like a mature man who can manage to use his brain instead of turning to violence for no reason (and some people claim all he does is punch his way out of things... my my).

And yes, I left CW for last. You know why, I'm sure. But still, he's got great scenes in that one too:

God, I love that line.

This dialogue should have been longer but he's being a big bro to Wanda, he cares for his teammates and he's talking about how he sees his work. If only CW was a Cap movie...

And this. Not only do I like that he's reading the Accords, but this panel proves he's not against accountability.

Anyway, there are many more but this got long enough! Now I miss Steve even more. More blue shirt? Hell, yeah.

I love him.

[ladydorian05]

Rules: give us the links to your fic with the most hits, second most kudos, third most comments, fourth most bookmarks, fifth most words, and fic with the least words.

Was tagged by @hippolotamus @wikiangela @thewolvesof1998 @wildlife4life, Thank you! ❤️❤️❤️❤️

I seriously need to pick up the pace with my wips

Most hits Fic:

-When life tears you asunder, but you're not alone: (stranger things,

Max & Eddie, siblings dynamic) Co-written with @made-ofmemories Billy was a pretty shitty brother, there was no denying it, but Max still finds herself mourning for the sibling relationship they never got to have. With him gone she thinks so are her chances of ever having the big brother figure she’s always wanted. Then in a turn of events that she never saw coming, Eddie Munson waltzes into her life. Or more like, almost runs her over.

Most kudos: (The second one with most Kudos is also When life tears you asunder, so this is the most Kudos one)

-Too busy being yours to fall for someone new: Buddie Co-written with @made-ofmemories (we tend to enthuse each other with fic ideas and end up writing together a lot :3)

Natalia helps Buck pick a couch for his apartment, but when the wrong one gets delivered he starts to think maybe it's some kind of cosmic sign from the universe.

Determined to not let his best friend mope to death, Eddie decides it's time that he helps Buck find a couch so that he can stop associating a piece of furniture with the success or failure of his romantic relationships.

And he does, Buck finds the one.

Third Most comments:

Mornings in bed: (Ronance)

She’s an active person, a busy body, and her interests also demand for her to be constantly on the move, but she loves days like this when she can stay home. It’s cold outside, they’ll probably get the first snow of the season by next week, but she’s warm. She’s oh so warm laying in bed, there’s the weight of an arm around her torso and a leg draped over her hip. How can she feel anything but warmth when she’s in the arms of her Robin.

Fourth most bookmarks:

Kissing his neck: (The mandalorian, gn reader insert)

Kissing his neck and finding out he’s really sensitive there:

You’re both inside the cockpit, the baby peacefully sleeping inside his pram in the cargo hold, he just activated the hyperspace stretching his arms to the front and cracking his neck, when you noticed the strip of skin between his helmet and the high neck of his tunic.

Fifth most words:

A life in retrospection: (Kinsman, Agent Whiskey/Female reader)

He couldn’t believe this was his life now.

He thought as he watched, through a window from the inside of his warm home, as the snowflakes fell outside.

Couldn’t believe he was capable of feeling such happiness again, not after everything he’s had to live through.

A few years ago, he almost committed the biggest mistake of his entire existence, condemning millions of people just because of his trauma. Good thing a pair of gentlemen helped knock some sense into him. Literally. And god bless Champ for giving him a second chance, since then, his life had been filled with second chances.

Fic with the least words:

Eparavur takisit - Apologise: (Pure Angst, no comfort. Din Djarin/gn reader)

“No, no…no, no, please no. Cyare…Cyare please…” Din’s broken voice came through his helmet. “Please don’t leave me, please, I need you.” He knew in his mind you couldn’t hear him, not anymore.

No pressure tags:

@made-ofmemories @your-catfish-friend @diazblunt @loserdiaz @alyxmastershipper @crowleywasagryffindor and anyone who wants to do it!

[pheita]

Name Meaning Tag

I was tagged by @catharticallysarcastic thanks, hun. So this is going to be funny.

Rules: Search and post the meaning of your OC’s names (if you made up their name or they go by a nickname, post an explanation of how it came to you)! Bonus points if you can find something for their last name, too.

So my Blood Night kids Sojan - actually, like with most names for this WIP I used fantasynamegenerator and mixed syllables of the names it gave me for I think I used demons or dark elves as base. So Sojan happened, and then I learned it is an actual name in Malaysia, which means shining or charming. Lyran - well, this is a word play on Lyra, which is his preferred instrument as bard. His full name Melisno Nimpha Tanyo cas Panrelli happened through the nymph name generator and I wanted to have it sound a bit Italian for some reasons I can't explain anymore.

Neeshah - again mix and match of orc name suggestions of the fantasy name generator. Elaven - ok, this is actually a worldplay on the french word élève which means student because he is the one who studied the old magic of the world and knows a lot about herbs. Yunadeldi - actually, this is a name I used before somewhere and can't remember how it came to be. She gets shortened to Yuna a few times, which I absolutely blame on Final Fantasy 10. Anyway Yuna is Japanese and means kindness as far as I know.

Chanan - this is a variation of Chana, which is Hebrew and means as much as "God has favored me". I just like the name and somehow while writing I always ended the n at the end so I kept it.

Arritit - again, fantasnamegenerator. But I have this head cannon that her name means in demon as much as flowing water. A little gimmick because her powers are the ones that changes the most. She gets shortened to Ari a lot, which sort of makes senses but also comes to be because I like to watch GTA roleplayers on Twitch to unwind and one of the character's names is Arianna, which gets shortened to Ari a lot. So these things somehow started to mix. Dessielle - and the fantasynamegenerator again. I think I used the one for elves. To me, it always was close to Danielle somehow, but can't explain it for real. And as bonus, because I started editing it as a side hustle, my Queen of Hell kids Josephina Fischer - Josephina is an old German version of Josephine, which means "God (shall) increases". I just realized the irony of her name within the story. I love it. Fischer is a common German family names which just means fisherman. Later on she gets a heavenly name of Reyna Talis. Reyna is a Spanish variation on the latin word reina which means Queen. Talis is also latin and means blooming. (I need to check this again because within the story I translated it differently and the meaning I found now is another irony within the story) Samuel Adams - ok, since this OC is meant to be the devil.... Samuel means "God has heard" but since he is the devil his actual name is Samael which means "venom of God" (lovely right?). Adams was picked as a funny hint towards Adam, the first man. Alexandra Bergman - well, Alexandra is the female version of Alexander which means "defender of men" in Greek. (also a very fitting name.... I can't handle the amount of irony anymore) Bergman is also a German family name which means man of the mountains. (oh, more irony....) Liam - this is Irish and means as much as "helmet of will" or guardian. And this time I picked the name because of the function of this character. Malekay - a variation of the Hebrew name Malakai. I found contradicting meanings. One claims it to mean "my angel" another one claims it means "messenger". Personally, with the little knowledge I have of Hebrew, the second one makes more sense to me. So I tag @stormbrightwriter @eternalwritingstudent @abalonetea @writingamongther0ses without pressure of course.

[quinntamsin]

*Taps her helmet and fingers her blaster pistol, she wouldn’t get the bounty that day.*

Let’s discuss the newest episode of the Book, ah yes the good Book of Boba.

Well, momre of the bullshit Biba Fortuna put things through after the “Sailbarge Incident.”

Episode 3, “The Streets of Mos Espa”, opens with an update on what state the city is in, especially the chaos of the street. We learn that no one respects Lord Fett, it’s a given, since these fools no nothing of the Mando’ade, truly. If they did they would be fearful of insult a Clan Lord. But hey, fuck these idiots. Gotta love the choice of actor for Peel.

We run to the streets of Espa where apparently Boba is playing gang purger and of course he spins the gang. He’s a smart, and I fucking love that he’s getting a bloody swoopbike gang on his side. This is how a Lord rules! And we learn that while yes, Jabba was powerful, he wasn’t necessarily the main ruler of Tatooine, that or Biba was just a shit crime boss. I think it’s the latter, Jabba ruled all of a planet and Biba lost it down to one measely city.

And now back to the flashbacks.

Fuck - this series just makes me laugh so hard. We have a classic lone rider scene with Boba Fett sauntering in on a Bantha. This is straight out of spaghetti western and I like how once again we learn that he’s learned a lot of his new style of rule via working with the Tuskens. The make up on the Pyke was...solid, it think its hard to animate a bloody fish face.

And wow, looks like we have a Luke esque ending for the damn Tuskens. They’re all dead it appears as he returns to the camp inflames. This was definitely foreshadowed by those fuckers attacking the moisture farmers. I’m guessing that because this was such a small tribe they were an easy target. We fade in to Boba in the tank and we are being attacked by Black Krranstan. The massive wookie just tosses Fett around like a bloody toy. Temuera’s broken up and scarred body, and of course out pops the fucking gang and the Gamorreans.

The fighting choreophgraphy of this particular show really and Fett gives his pigman guard access to a Bantha tank. Of course, he treats his people this well. This is why Shand is always there and is willing to die for him. He and Shand have a discussion over how to respond to the Twins, and they bring a fucking Rancor. Do Hutts think about anything sides pet Rancors. OH GOD THE BEAST TRAINER is DANNY TREJO. GOD I LOVE THIS SHOW!

And yes, we got a Witches of Dathomir riding Rancor mention, fuck yeah, I love it when we get Expanded stuff okayed.ALso, please let the Ranco be his awesome bad ass mount. Not some stupid plot to kill Boba. I’m so damn happy it made my day to see him petting his new buddy.

And HELLO MEGAN! We get that idiotically annoying Twi’lek attache to the Mayor running from our swoopbikers. Lol, this show just its just great. Like this is the shit I’ve wanted from Starwars in forever!Note these kids ride a bloody Vespa version of swoopbikes. They’re also all tricked out in slightly ridiculous outfits for gansters, and it makes them seem kind of wannabe ish. Which makes them arriving with Boba even better.

This show is about a crime lord saying fuck it to the system and just casually fucking it all over. Ah yes, the Pykes are back as well. It makes sense, they are one of the biggest syndicates and were a major player in the Shadow Collective. Oh, i hop we get Black Sun later in this series! And that ends it. This series feels like it moves so fast, and the truth is its just chock full of actio and content.

Hottakes:

I’m Headcanoning that girl ganger as Shand’s fucking Protege.

The Rancor’s name is Bubba and he is best boi!

If they give Boba a fucking rancor, Din Djarin, aka MANDO, needs a bloody Basilisk Droid!

The Pykes popping up for war makes me think we’re gonna see more Tuskens in this series. YES, let Warleader Tusken come back from the dead for some serious revenge.

Gay Thoughts:

Okay let’s do this.

Boba to me seems pretty ace, I headcanon him as a grey ace IMO.

Shand is momma pan gay.

Those Gamorreans are either siblings or fucking besties.

The gang are all fucking gay, JUST SO delish gay.

[moonlit-han]

a sweet ride ↠ yang jeongin

genre: bad boy!jeongin, high school au, fluff word count: 3.5k warnings: swearing, mention of smoking & underage alcohol consumption, almost suggestive request: yes (yangomangos, prompt included: “Don’t cry.”) a/n: this one’s for the jeongin enthusiasts~ 

✧ masterlist & tag list info in bio ✧

↠↞

every morning as you wait outside your high school for classes to start

you hear the thunder of his motorcycle

it’s loud, mildly obnoxious, and occasionally spits out fumes

but you don’t care

you actually like the sound of the bike and how the vibrations rumble in ur chest

it’s a sleek black and built almost entirely by him: old chassis, long handle bars, and a satisfying growl as the engine ignites

if you stand too close when he pulls up in the parking lot in the morning, you can feel the vibrations coming through the pavement

(your mum would probably lock you in a tower only a knight could enter if she ever found out you’d been on a motorcycle

…..not that you’d been on one

yet (ﾟ▽ﾟ｀*)? )

the owner of that motorcycle is your high school’s one and only bad boy

♡･｡.:*.ﾟyang jeongin ﾟ.*:.｡･♡

(but please call him “I.N.” because he’s actually out of the preppy, popular crowd  ( ｀^´ ) )

he could ride that motorcycle straight through your heart and you wouldn’t care

okay maybe not your heart bc that would hurt (˚ ˃̣̣̥⌓˂̣̣̥ )

but definitely through your bedroom

that would be

f i n e (⊙‿⊙✿)

……….

all your friends cover their ears and turn away when jeongin pulls up

there isn’t a rule against a senior having a motorcycle and riding it to school

there are people who drive cars to school and that’s fine

he has a license and always wears a helmet

and he wears a thick leather jacket and heavy, black boots

(you’ve seen those boots

they look like they could stomp through concrete or smth)

there is no way he wouldn’t be safe

well, besides the fact that he rides a motorcycle

but you, still not caring, just kinda stare as he rides into the parking area in front of the school

he always does this cool lil swing into his designated “motorcycles only” spot

and then takes off his helmet

to do that fucking hair shake that you always see in movies

that can only mean “hot guy on a motorcycle”

fucking hell

oh and he then runs his fingers through his black hair

to make it appropriately ~windswept~

and, yes, he looks way too god damn hot

unnecessarily so in your humble opinion (๑`^´๑)

you almost flip your shit every morning just bc of him

he’s handsome like a fucking movie star

angled cheekbones, a defined nose and chin, a jawline so sharp it could ki— it could seriously hurt you

and don’t even start on his eyes

jeongin’s eyes are so dark you often wonder if they’re actually brown

if he looks at you in the halls, you immediately get the sense he could somehow see into your soul

and, judging by the dark aura he has, probably can

jeongin isn’t particularly horrible or anything, but he’s known throughout the school to, honestly, not give a flying fuck

about anything

he’s….a little chaotic

for example, he flouts any rule he doesn’t like

and he talks back if a teacher says something he doesn’t agree with

(this has lead to some very heated discussions in class

although, you were actually inclined to agree with him most of the time, since he usually brings up some good points and such

(it’s generally a good idea, you’ve mused on a regular basis, to treat people like human beings and not like machines only in existence to produce goods and perform services to a select few)

most of your classes are with him

and he’s really smart

like the kind of smart where he barely does any work but still passes the class with an A

i mean, who said he could do that??!!?!

who allowed such sorcery

heCk

and you know he’s passed all his courses

he may or may not occasionally smoke or drink behind the school but you know for a fact there are people who do much worse and nobody says anything about them

maybe it’s the leather

and the moodiness

but um;;;;; that’s kinda hot, you know?

you’re not really sure why people think he’s the “bad boy”...

you’ve never seen or heard him be mean or rude to anyone, so how bad can he be?

okay okay yes you’ve seen the knife hilts poking out of his boots

but who the fuck cares?!! ( • ̀ω•́ ) 

it’s not like he’s ever pulled them on anyone

that you know of

.............

OH

and you’re pretty sure he knows you kinda watch him, too

bc one day he parked his bike facing the school instead of away

and you were just ~there~ as usual

but feeling very alone and exposed

since your dumbass friends had all decided to abandon you in your hour of need by walking away just before he rode up

and then, like a herd of sheep, they all turned to watch you as he did

ahahah friends? what are they?! nah don’t need them;;;

so there you were standing out on the pavement

very obviously looking at him

w e l p  Σ(☉‿☉✿)Σ(☉‿☉✿)Σ(☉‿☉✿)

but, of course, he just had to look up

and this lil shit winked at you

actually winked

EXCUSE ME YANG JEONGIN

W H A T

;;;;;;;;;;;;

your friends teased you all day

“ooooh look it’s lover boy”

“shut up shut up shut up”

“but he just lookeD AT YOU”

“you’re lying”

“Y/N YOU FOOL”

“HHHHHHHH”

and it only gets worse from there (....um, you sure about that y/n?)

now whenever jeongin arrives in the mornings

he makes a point at looking over at you

you don’t always notice, unfortunately

and he ends up with a sad lil smile on his face bc he knows you’re having fun with your friends

but fuck!!!!

you’re just so!!! cute!!!!!

how can he not notice you??!!!

especially when you’re in all of his classes

and obviously watch for his motorcycle every morning

it makes him feel kinda cool, tbh

he’s also noticed that you like strawberries

a  l o t (≧◡≦)

as in, your backpack is a strawberry

you have strawberry pins on said strawberry backpack

your raincoat has a pattern of strawberries on it

your pencil case may or may not be a lil cat eating, yes, a strawberry

SO

jeongin being the smooth guy (he thinks) he is

gets you a strawberry sweetbread

and is all excited to give it to you

so after class on friday, he decides today’s his chance

(also, the sweetbread isn’t gonna last forever alfdjghafkgj)

aaaand you both try to walk out the door at the same time

which doesn’t work

but WOW YOU’RE NOW REALLY CLOSE TO HIM

jeongin: *vibrates*

ACTUALLY TOUCHING SHOULDERS

WHAT

…..fuck (￢_￢;)

and since when do you smell really good, too?? alkjhsjfghajhf

jeongin’s just a little overwhelmed, you know?

ANyWaY;;;;;;

y/n, blushing furiously: “oh my god sorry”

jeongin, spluttering: “no, no after you”

((oh wow his voice dropped since the last time you saw him

how is that even possible??? guys….))

after a couple tries back and forth through the doorway

(your teacher’s trying not to laugh in the background)

you finally both make it out of the classroom

and you start to speed walk away since your friends are waiting so you all can hang out

“hey, y/n!” comes down the hall after you

ALSDJHADJFLHG what ;;

you turn around quickly to find jeongin standing right behind you

“um, so i noticed you really like strawberries”

e x c u s e  m e (O_O);;;

first of all:

yang jeongin—your school’s super hot bad boy, the guy you’re only a little obsessed with bc he rides a motorcycle, the inexplicably brilliant student, and total badass—just spoke to you

WHAT

((really, Y/N?? r e a l l y?????))

second of all:

he’s holding something wrapped in absolutely adorable cat (and strawberry) wrapping paper

that’s completely against his aesthetic

but matches yours to a tee ( ◡‿◡ ♡)

huh….

“y/n?” *holds out package*

you have to mentally shake yourself a little

but you’re back now

hhhHHHH

“me?”

“Yeah, I got you this. I hope you like it.” (●´ω｀●)

“thanks?” you say a bit lamely

you take the package and get a whiff of sweetbread

s w e e t b r e a d!!!! (*♡∀♡)

ajfhakljfhgjdsfgh your fav

you’d half expected jeongin to blast on outta there asap

but now he’s just standing in front of you, just kinda shifting back and forth

wait…is he nervous??

you slowly unwrap the package, careful not to damage the wrapping paper

(you are so going to reuse it or hang it on the wall or something ajdsdjfg)

and inside is a rounded sweetbread with strawberries delicately placed on top amongst swirls of pink icing

you gasp quietly

fucking hell it’s the cutest thing you’ve ever seen

jeongin’s just watching you, a small smiling spreading across his face

(which you don’t notice bc  b r e a d)

you take a small bite of the treat and

。*:゜♡ヽ(*’∀’*)/♡゜:。*。

IT’S SOOOOO GOOD!!!!

you take another bite before looking up at jeongin and you finally see his smile

( ◡‿◡ ♡) (♡‿♡) (*♡∀♡)

it’s actually the best thing you’ve ever seen

there’s so much genuine happiness, and just a hint of mischievous mirth, in his smile

you feel like you’re looking into the sun, it’s so bright

why did jeongin, of all people get you, of all people, a sweetbread?

jeongin, completely unable to look cool anymore and shifting back and forth on the balls of his feet: “is it good?”

“OH MY GOD YES!!!”

and then you do something you never thought you’d do

ever

in the whole world ever

you throw your arms around yang jeongin’s neck

and give him a really big hug

his arms come up and around you to hug you back almost immediately,

which you were expecting even less than your own actions

but his hug is wonderful, even if he’s holding you like fine china

in a moment, you remember yourself and quickly step back

jeongin is blushing so much that he looks like a strawberry

(so good you just wanna eat him up (◕‿◕))

((y/n pls,,,,, not here....))

and you know you’re blushing just as much

you splutter an apology and run off down the hallway

and because you’re running off,

you don’t notice that jeongin is staring after

like a lovesick puppy (◕︵◕)

your friends are all over you about the sweetbread

bc they love it too

but you just say that you forgot you’d brought it with you that day

for some reason, you didn’t want to tell about your encounter with jeongin

when you get home, you savor the sweetbread,

remembering the warmth of jeongin’s smile~

the next friday, you’re outside at the picnic tables during lunch

it’s an absolutely beautiful day, with a light breeze~ (⌒ω⌒)

against the better judgement and fervent suggestions of your friends

you decide that it’s a great idea to get on top of one the tables

and dance

why?

someone had started playing ABBA’s “Dancing Queen”

no one can resist that song

so you’re having the time of your life

just dancing around on the table that your friends have since vacated bc they

a) don’t want to get kicked in the head, and

b) feel quite embarrassed to associate with you while you’re like this

......traitors (๑`^´๑)

and as anyone with an ounce of sense does when dancing to ABBA

you occasionally close your eyes in happiness

and suddenly you’ve stepped into air

your heart lurches and your eyes fly open 

and your mind goes completely blank with panic

but you never reach the ground

you’re now surrounded by the smell of leather, metal, and.....

boy

someone had saved you from falling

the arms holding you are strong and well-muscled

and, surprisingly, comfortable

“i’ve got you,” a voice murmurs

you look up into the face of none other than jeongin

(⊙__⊙✿) 

welp

you think to yourself “what... i thought he didn’t care about people??”

((nope y/n, he cares about YOU bc you’re the cutest and so lovely))

he smirks down at you, then sets you back down on the ground

“try to be more careful. okay, y/n?” he says, smoothing a wayward piece of your hair, then just walks off

you blush

(this seems to be becoming a common occurrence with jeongin)

and just stand there, dumbfounded

as jeongin saunters away to sit under a tree at the far end of the lawn

it’s a good saunter, and the tight, black skinny jeans only help (⊙ __ ⊙);;;;

your friends rush you, asking if you’re okay and asking what was up with jeongin

you say that you have no idea

......although, that’s not entirely true

since you now have a sneaking suspicion that *gasp* jeongin might have a crush on you?

maybe??

(hopefully!! (ﾟ▽ﾟ｀*)?) 

your friends just continue dithering as you stare at jeongin, who’s watching you right back

he winks

ALKJSDHGAKLDJFGADJKFGBADJF

you really wish he’d stop doing that bc it’s making your heart pound like a herd of horses and now yOu CAn’t EveN THinK

FUCK!!

later that day as school’s letting out

jeongin comes up to you, leather jacket slung over his shoulder

he’s got on a black t-shirt with the sleeves rolled up a couple times

and ooooooh my

you’d never noticed before

(well, besides during lunch when he caught you)

but yang jeongin has really nice arms

and pecs (⊙‿⊙)  

and now you’re staring (oh fuck,,,,, not again)

“uh;;;; hi, jeongin!” you manage to squeak out alkdjfhsldjf

“hey, i was wondering if you wanted a ride”

eXCusE Me wHAt??? ∑(ﾟﾛﾟ〃)

“on the motorcycle. i have an extra helmet, since my sister sometimes rides with me”

O H 

your mouth takes control before you even have time to think

“sure! i’d love to!!”

a minute later, you’re standing in front of that sleek, black motorcycle that you’ve admired for months

the young man riding it helps the matter quite a lot, too

there’s even this little carrier container on the back of the bike that he puts his (small) backpack into

he reaches out for yours and stows it

then, jeongin hands you a helmet with lime green racing stripes on its sides

you briefly wonder if his sister is anything like him

probably

“have you ever ridden a motorcycle before?” jeongin asks

you shake your head, unable to speak bc you’re so excited and also kinda nervous

your mom’s words fly through your head

don’t you dare get on a motorcycle, y/n. ever. don’t you dare! they’re too dangerous by half and— well, if i ever find out you’ve been on one, you won’t be allowed out of the house, except for going to school, for a month. you mark my words, y/n! (; ･`д･´)

you promptly ignore her voice in your head and slid the helmet down over your head

the world suddenly becomes slightly more vibrantly colored as the visor shields your eyes

jeongin had swung his long legs over the bike, straddling it with his feet still on the ground

“so, the important thing is to stay in line with me. what i mean is that if i lean to one side or the other, you’ve gotta lean with me. otherwise, we’ll fall over and that really wouldn’t be good. just hold on tight to my waist and, sorry i don’t mean to sound rude, but please don’t scream.”

jeongin looks only a little rueful as he says that

but you don’t blame him

you wouldn’t want someone screaming in your ears as you tried to concentrate either

“okay, right. lean with you. hold on tight,” you say

jeongin sits down, one foot still on the ground, and pats the seat behind him

“come on! take a seat—i promise you’ll be fine, y/n”

tentatively, you clamber onto the motorcycle behind jeongin

and wrap your arms around his waist

you can feel . . .

holy shit his abs feel like a fucking washboard

ExCuSE mE?????!!!! (＠_＠)

heCk

((y/n, pls. calm down;;; we know he’s got muscles))

so um,,,, yeah

it’s really actually quite comfy to lean against his back

but then hen he lays his hands over yours

and looking back over his shoulder says, “ready, babe?

B A B E

HHHHHHHHHHHH

***y/n has officially malfunctioned***

damn tho

this boy is bold as fuck

wow

you’re not exactly complaining

bc you now know that you like being called “babe”

it makes you feel special (✿◠‿◠)

and you like how it sounds coming from jeongin

you can tell jeongin is grinning under his helmet

“yep, i’m ready,” you manage to say

and then you feel and hear the thunder of the engine igniting

it’s exhilarating and you hadn’t even started moving yet

jeongin yells over the engine “hold on!”

in one smooth motion he kicks the kickstand up, brought his foot off the ground, released the brake and clutch

and then...

and then you feel like you’re flying

even though you’re not going 70 mph (113 kph)

the wind tears at your clothes

making you feel freer than you’d ever felt before~

you thought you’d guessed what it would feel like to ride on a motorcycle

but even your wildest imaginings couldn’t come close to reality

you hold on tightly to jeongin’s waist, feeling every shift of his body as he guides the motorcycle along the roads surrounding your school

all too soon you find yourself back in the parking lot of your high school

you don’t release your hold on jeongin until after he’s shut off the engine

jeongin takes off his helmet, shaking his hair as usual, and hangs it on a handlebar

then he turns on the seat

you lean back

but jeongin reaches out and gently removes your helmet to place it on the seat between the two of you

even without touching it, you could feel that your hair was mussed

so you shake out your hair, too

and immediately understand why jeongin does it

you feel strangely powerful and a bit sexy

it’s a fun, new feeling

jeongin smiles like you’re the loveliest flower he’s ever seen

and, for the second time that day, tucks a strand of hair behind your ear

“how was it?” he asks, a look of concern on his face

you beam, feeling infinitely more at ease around jeongin

“amaaaaazing!”

“yeah? oh, don’t cry, y/n”

“what? oh” you realize that you are, indeed, crying

you wipe the tears from your face

after all, they’re just tears of happiness

“jeongin, it was incredible, oh my god. can we do it again? please?”

he laughs, throwing his head back 

and you glimpse the dimple at the base of his throat

“maybe another day, babe” jeongin concedes

you pout

“oh, okay. thank you”

there’s a look in jeongin’s eyes that you can’t quite place

is it sadness? fondness? desire?

he exhales, then the corner of his mouth quirks up

you feel the warmth of his fingers caress your cheek

“y/n, may i kiss you?”

***yet again, we regret to inform you that y/n has malfunctioned***

what the ever loving flipping fuck

d— did jeongin just,,,,

did he?

ALKJHGALKJFHG;AKLHFGAKLJGHKAJH

“i’m sorry, i didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable” jeongin says in a rush, dropping his hand

shit.

SHIT!

“no no no!! it’s fine, yes. please. that’s fine. that would be— that would nice. yes, very nice.”

wow you sounded almost hysterical

“good,” jeongin says simply

and leans in to softly press his lips to yours

you immediately kiss him back

and feel him smile against your mouth

just a moment later, he draws back, respectful, a question in his eyes

you chase his lips, not wanting to waste the precious opportunity to actually be kissing the yang jeongin!!

his hands come up to cup your neck

and you rest your palm against his chest, feeling the trembling beat of his heart

he tastes like like elderberry and cinnamon and clove all wrapped into one intoxicating milieu 

you could kiss him for days and never tire

after what seems like hours, you break apart

“y/n,” jeongin begins

“oh just shut up and keep kissing me,” you say without hesitation, surprised at your own boldness (again)

it seemed that was becoming a habit around jeongin, too

he doesn’t bother responding

and, instead, kisses you until you’re breathless

again, you feel like you were flying

* . ∗ ̥ ⋆ ݃ *♡٩( ｡⌒▽⌒｡)۶♡* ݃ ⋆ ̥∗ . *

[vaguely-concerned]

R-r-r-rewatch thoughts for The Mandalorian S2 Ep2

(or Chapter 10 as they seem resolved to call it)

- can I just express my joy for a moment that in one episode we get peli, the answer to my pleas for female representation in the ‘sketchy middle aged car mechanic’ niche, and a female alien designed with no consideration towards sexiness. (I mean I’m sure there’s someone. There is always someone somewhere on the Internet, is the bitter truth history has shown to us. but it’s not the intention behind the design haha)  

- they do take great pains to deliberately show you boba’s armour several times both in the recap and in the episode itself, so never despair he is very likely still on his way onto our screens once more

- this dude holding the baby hostage wanting specifically the jetpack in exchange is the one (1) break this whole episode gave din lol 

also the Patented Mando Finger Curl of Stress while he talked softly and calmly to not promp this asshole to make a sudden move... the most endearing character tic, I love my space cowboy dad so much 

- fun continuity detail: din is all out of whistling birds now, and you can see it here!

I wonder if he could still use the same mechanism with different ‘ammo’, it’s just not as effective? from the way the armorer spoke whistling birds seem quite rare and it would be an inefficient use of beskar if that’s the only thing it can be loaded with

 - I love how after the last episode, a 50 min epic with a bunch of original trilogy significance and impressive technical achievements and exciting character reveals, I was like ‘yeah okay I suppose that is quite interesting’, and this mess/comedy of inconveniences is the thing that fully makes my brain tip into the obsessive ‘BABY AND DAD SHOW!! BABY AND DAD SHOW!!!!!’ mind state lol

- ah the traditional ‘mando trudging slowly but steadily through the desert’ montage we all love to see (I hope this is going to be a Thing for the second episode of every season from now on) 

Also I assume his suit has some sort of temperature regulation built in and that’s how he didn’t, y’know. die under the blazing desert sun

-

CAT FIGHT CAT FIGHT man I love the jawa. also mando doesn’t even glance over at them, really emphasizing how he’s like. done with this entire day (and it’s all barely even getting started din! i’m sorry)

 yodito’s look in this scene tho... he’s like ‘we’ve Seen some shit lady’ (actually I think he’s staring at ‘dr mandible’ like O___o. it’s been a long day for a lil boy) 

you get to see dr mandible’s cards a few times, so I assume anyone who knows the rules of... sabacc? probably? could figure out beforehand that he was in a bad spot. (the star wars fanbase is one of those where I KNOW the rules exist somewhere, and I know people who know those rules exist too)  

- that sound the baby keeps making -- the ‘boo-a’, sometimes with a p-sound at the end -- if that’s the precursor to him saying any variation whatsoever of ‘dad’ or ‘papa’ or ‘baba’ or even ‘buir’ or anything, I will die. I will sink to the ground in a heap and never get up (the way he keeps seeking out gaze contact with the helmet and seems perfectly satisfied with it too... fasdhfaskdjhl my FEELINGS)

- it seems confirmed in this ep that the mandos who died on nevarro did so while holding off the enemy so the rest(probably especially the children) could get away; some of them appear to have escaped. which I guess is a small relief

- 

frog lady stepping out of the shadows and into our hearts

I like that her firm nod after Peli translates ‘her husband has seen them’ lets us know she understands... basic? is that the common tongue thing in star wars there’s just so many to remember across fandoms lol? perfectly well, even if she can’t speak it. 

- mando might be running low on ammo for the pulse rifle, if the fact that he hasn’t replaced the missing cartridge on his... bandolier belt thingy is any indication

ETA: actually ignore me this has been a thing since the literal first episode of the show my brain just had a hiccup lol

- so baby seems to use a little bit of the force to pull the eggs towards him -- I wonder how often he ‘taps into it’ or if it’s always ‘on’ in the background for him. if so I guess there’s no wonder he’s so hungry (but also... kid you can’t end this lady’s entire family line like that one cat who singlehandedly made extinct a whole species of bird! D:)

- din so rarely gets openly angry, he just gets passive aggressive and grumpy. and that’s probably not the healthiest way to deal with things but I love him

- frog lady reacts so strongly to when din sends the ping when nothing else woke her up, I wonder if she can hear more frequencies than a human

- 

hello darkness my old frieeennnddd

- 

proof nr 1508 that din does not starve this baby you guys, he even has his own little tray just the right size for him! as it happens the baby simply seems to prefer eating things that are... still alive in some capacity. which, uh. maybe they can invest in some form of non-sentient crickets or something for him to hunt down and.... oh dear

- 

Look how they massacred my boy

By the way I finally managed to put into words why the Razor Crest -- and particularly the way it keeps getting beaten to hell and back and patched up again --  is so symbolically important and meaningful to me in this show in this post over here! it’s always a great relief to me when I can finally understand what the hell I’ve been going on about all this time and this was one of those lol

-  honestly if it weren’t for frog lady and (more importantly) the baby I think there’s a slight chance din would’ve gone ‘well I had a good-ish run of it for a while there’ and just let the ice claim him haha   

- “Why don’t you come over here and give me a hand. Make yourself useful” This is the one time in the episode I think he crosses the line into just being a dick for a moment (but noticeably the baby isn’t just a little hurt at this reaction, he’s clearly surprised and confused, which means this really does not happen often. after the time mando’s been having recently I guess a moment’s snappishness is understandable haha. he does follow up right after with being much more responsive and attentive when the baby toddles away from him, so it feels like it’s going to be okay)

also the ‘boo-ap’ sound is there again when he’s trying to get din’s attention. just sayin’ 

when din comes over to see the footprints baby makes a declarative little meep like ‘see??? I did tell you!’ haha

- it is very funny that mando is using all his technology meant to track down dangerous bounties in the grungy depths of the criminal underworld... to find a naked lady just chillin’ in a hot spring 

- 

cue the ‘father is evil?’ memes fsadfda. actually the funniest thing about this moment (apart from the fabulous finger acting) is that din actually snatches a few eggs out of the baby’s reach more subtly right before, and that baby only whines for ALL OF ONE SECOND before he goes to sniff around for other food possibilities fkadfhjkds. from my experience with human children he’s a lot less prone to tantrums. yodito doesn’t get mad, he gets even 

- baby running towards din through the hatching spiderlings like ‘DAD I FUCKED UUUUUUP’, din’s little strangled ‘ngh’ sound as he picks the baby up and watches all the creepy crawlies come out... *chef kiss* impeccable 

(that little ‘ngh’ and the soft shocked ‘ah ah AH!’s from when he goes flying at the beginning of the episode... pedro pascal and his voice work for this character gives me so much life. in some ways din has this sort of dignity and grace and in other ways he uh extremely doesn’t. he gets to be cool but also vulnerable in ways a lot of male main characters don’t and it’s probably why I love him so much) 

btw here is that moment when din moves to hold the baby tightly against him with both hands as the big spider appears, because it gets me right in the heart... it such an instinctive thing of holding on to the dearest thing you’ve got before something bad is about to happen

fdsafhsdakjlfhsdkjlhfsdajhf oh my god the baby is clutching din’s finger with his little hand during the chase!!!! 😭😭😭

this FUCKING SHOW has just WEAPONIZED putting in small details everywhere to convey the love and tenderness and attachment felt by a little muppet doll even where only weirdos like me will frame by frame their way through the video to see it I am so MAD

- frog lady going ‘fuck this’ and bounding along is  e v e r y t h i n g 

- din is an amazing shot, though, he doesn’t seem to miss a single one in this whole scene (then again there’s something to shoot at basically everywhere one can take aim so lol)

-

baby hiding behind/half hugging din’s boot as he tries to get the doors closed hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I can’t breathhhhheeeee 

honestly every single one of the baby’s proximity seeking behaviours in this ep has me on my knees 

- it’s very unfair to play the heroic happy mando music like everything is going to be fine and then have a huge fuck-off spider drop down from the ceiling and break it off mid-tune, the mandalorian, you have trained me in certain ways and now do you betray me??? how can I trust again

- the camera work in the scene with the new republic guys gives such a good sense of the discomfort of being judged from on high by someone or something you can’t really see -- the glare of the lights blocking out everything in the shots from din’s pov makes it feel like a tense interrogation (the new republic dude who is actually dave filoni has such a look of fondness as he watches din tho it’s kind of sweet)

- ...oh no I think baby was actually considering munching on that dismembered spider leg YODITO NO JUST EAT YOUR KRAYT DRAGON BABY

- hngh this is a weird filler episode and it has my entire heart. I suspect we might get some episodes of a more stationary baby between active ones like this -- you can tell a little bit in this episode that especially having him running around fast is quite difficult to have look natural, they likely save that effort up for when it best serves the narrative  

[aros001]

Read through light novel vol. 6. Random thoughts.

She hurried along behind the others, but she couldn’t quite get the image of the red-haired spell caster out of her mind.

Maybe I’m just imagining things, but...he looked really familiar.

Let me guess...

[Chapter 3]

Nailed it!

“How many?” Guild Girl asked, her pen scratching on the paper. “Oh, and break them down by quest, please.”

“Thirty-four for the first quest.”

He suddenly fell silent. Guild Girl stopped writing and looked up, and Goblin Slayer added quietly, “and ten or less missing.”

“Missing?”

“We went in, rescued the hostage, and flooded the nest. I confirmed thirty- four bodies. There can’t be more than ten left.”

You can tell this series has done a good job making the goblins feel like a threat that I'm really concerned about any goblins escaping the nest Goblin Slayer flooded. With how quickly they learn and how much he tries to keep them from learning his methods, now I'm going to be worried about some goblins down the line breaking open a dam and flooding a village because of how well it worked against them.

This is a weird thing to focus on but why do goblins get so excited over elf women compared to the women of other species? It just gets brought up a lot through the series when seeing things from the goblins' POV. Is it because of their beauty, their age, some kind of ancient grudge between elves and goblins, or is it just that they smell particularly good? Because back in vol. 1 Goblin Slayer made a point about goblin noses being quite sensitive to the smells of women, children, and elves. Obviously they're cruel and lustful to any women they want to capture but they keep singling out specifically High Elf Archer when she's with human women. Closest I've seen to an answer is in this volume, with the goblins knowing that elf meat apparently keeps for longer.

“All right,” he said. Then the helmet turned toward the boy. “Let’s go.”

Ugh. Not expecting much from this meal.

The boy nodded grudgingly then heaved himself to his feet and followed after Goblin Slayer.

If the food sucks, I’m knocking over that table.

This kid's starting to piss me off.

“Heh! I know you’re back-row, but there’s no way someone as weepy and blubbering as you could ever get promoted!”

That sent High Elf Archer’s ears straight back, and she began looking for their antagonist. The owner of the voice rose unsteadily from one of the benches.

It was the red-haired boy—dressed in a robe, holding a staff, wearing glasses. That wizard.

Priestess spent only a second with her mouth open in shock, then the corners of her eyes tightened angrily.

“I—I’m not weepy!”

“I dunno ’bout that. I hear all you clerics like a good cry.” He gave a dismissive sniff and didn’t even open his eyes all the way as he looked at Priestess. Maybe he thought all this diligent ridicule made him look cool.

He didn’t seem to realize that it just made him seem like a slimy villain.

“Whenever you’re in trouble, it’s O gods, please, save me! Boo-hoo-hoo!, right?”

...I want to break his nose. Specifically I want Priestess and/or Goblin Slayer to break his nose.

The only spell he could use was Fireball, and he could only use it once per day.

THE MORON ONLY HAD ONE SPELL HE COULD USE AND ONLY ONCE A DAY?! Priestess already had to keep him from using it once against a basic encounter with goblins! What the hell was he planning on doing after that for the rest of the nest?! Just beating them with his staff?! He doesn't seem like the type to see any merit in fighting like a barbarian and certainly not the type to dirty his magic conduit. His sister was apparently top of her class so I'm assuming she actually had at least two or more spells she could use (I don't remember what specially was said she could do back in vol. 1) and Priestess had two Miracles she could use three times a day.

Ron Weasley, year one at Hogwarts, is a better wizard than this kid! Think about that! He actually used his one spell exactly when he needed it and beat a troll!

It was funny all the ways Goblin Slayer found around High Elf Archer's rules, but it's also kind of funny that now he just seems to be ignoring them. He flooded a nest (finally got to use a scroll for the reason he bought it) and set a troll on fire. Though I like what even she pointed out, that he holds back on such methods when the goblins have a hostage. Also I suppose her main problem was using fire, water, and poison to attack from a distance or flush out the goblins and then pick them off methodically, making it feel like less of an adventure. Then again, it's goblins. She already doesn't consider that an adventure. The goal is less exploration and more pest control.

Aw, Sword Maiden and Noble Fencer are friends. That's sweet.

Just like with how Goblin Slayer's equipment and methods relate to goblins, I love just reading about Dwarf Shaman talk about magic and the basic principles of it, as well as Lizard Priest talking about his culture. It's just little details I like getting wrapped up in. It's very simple yet believable logic how Wizard Boy's eyes were opened to him actually having four spells instead of just one; breaking down something complicated into its smaller parts.

Again, so glad Spearman isn't a Motoyasu. I'm actively glad Goblin Slayer has someone like him and Heavy Warrior in his life. Also, this is funny only just because it's in comparison to the last few light novel series I've read prior to this, but:

Overlord: Protagonist is a skeleton. Can't drink.

Konosuba: Protagonist can drink but it's his useless companion whom usually gets drunk

Rising of the Shield Hero: Protagonist physically can't get drunk. Immunity to toxins too high.

Goblin Slayer: Protagonist drank, got drunk, puked in an alley, went out drinking with friends on another day, had a hangover the next morning, still went out to kill goblins. I really hope he got his helmet open before he threw up because it's already got to smell not pleasant and you know he wouldn't be removing his helmet on the walk home.

I like that you can kind of tell Goblin Slayer is reapplying Burgler's teachings to Priestess (minus the parts where he'd throw stuff at her). At the big moments he doesn't tell her she can or can't do something, rather he asks if she can or listens to the plan she's come up with. As Burgler taught him, once you decide to do something and act on it, you've already won. His words about power not mattering if you can't even do that much feel like they can apply even more to Priestess, as she has next to no offensive abilities and thus gaining power that'd be useful in killing goblins is even less of an option for her than it was for Goblin Slayer.

Despite all my prior words, I didn't hate Wizard Boy. It's just that undeserved arrogance is one of the quickest ways to get me to be against a character, especially when they're loud about how much better they think they are and their ego actively causes problems for others (Ben 10 in his later series is the most immediate example for me). There are plenty of arrogant and egotistical characters in fiction that I really love, like Lex Luthor or Mandy from The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy, but usually they can back up their arrogance and they're more "speak softly and carry a big stick". They don't need to boast about how good they are, they just let their actions speak for them. Wizard Boy, I get it, he's going through a character arc and he does grow somewhat during this book. It's just that his sense of superiority despite being in WAY over his head and his disrespect even after he learns his lesson makes it a little hard to be on his side. Hopefully his new adventuring partner can help straighten him out a bit more, and of course I love all the ways his presence caused Goblin Slayer to reflect and evaluate himself, given what they have in common.

This is probably me just looking too deep into things again, but I'm curious what was bigger source of guilt for Goblin Slayer in this book: that he couldn't save Wizard Boy's sister, thus reminding him of his own and making him feel like nothing's changed since he started killing goblins, or that he was the one who killed her? Obviously I think the former is more likely, given the themes and parallels in this book, but it's shown often that despite how he talks, looks, and carries himself, Goblin Slayer isn't some cold-hearted, unfeeling monster. He does care about people and even though it was a mercy kill Wizard begged for I can see him having some heavy feelings weighing on him after killing someone innocent, especially with Wizard Boy's presence forcing him to confront that reality again.

Original Reddit post: https://www.reddit.com/r/GoblinSlayer/comments/fxut3s/read_through_light_novel_vol_6_random_thoughts/

[heyyyharry]

Chapter 9: Forever Childhood

(from the My Girl Trilogy: Stay Mine)

…in which childhood is not forever, but it doesn’t have to end.

Word count: 8k

AU: actor!Harry, childhood best friends, older!Harry, younger!Y/N, (4-year age gap).

Wattpad link (Thea as Y/N)

What to expect from this chapter: Many flashback scenes and LOTS LOTS LOTS of fluff.

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“Knock knock.”

“Dad, you don’t have to say knock knock while actually knocking,” Y/N said without taking her eyes off the laptop screen. The door closed behind her as her dad walked in, squeezed her shoulders and kissed the top of her head twice.

“Why aren’t you with your friends in the backyard?”

“The treehouse’s gone; there’s nothing to do in the backyard,” she said, typing away. “And I’m sorry beforehand if Alice and Niall do something to Marcy’s flowers. Niall probably has never seen a garden as small as ours, and Alice is unpredictably crazy.”

“They’d make a good couple."

“Don’t tell Alice. She’d lose her mind,” Y/N said.

Feeling her dad peering at the screen, she tilted her head back to see his face. “What do you think?”

He leaned forward with both hands on the back of her chair, shaking his head. “A masterpiece. Shakespeare wished he’d come up with this.”

She snorted, leering at him. “From now on, all yours and Harry’s comments about my work are invalid.”

“We’re your biggest fans, Y/N.”

“That’s the problem. Love cancels honesty in this case.”

“Oh, God.”

Her dad spun her swivel chair around so they were face to face as he sat on the edge of her bed, his legs spread wide, elbows resting on his knees. He clasped his hands together in front and cocked his head. “Take a short break and talk to me, will you?”

She drummed her fingers on the armrests. “About my book?”

“Yeah, your book. And, well...boys.”

“Daaaad." She tossed her head back, groaning into her palms like an embarrassed teenager. “If this is about Blake and Harry–”

“Blake Roman,” her dad hissed as if the name was toxic. “I can’t believe you’re hanging out with him again. Is he still riding that stupid motorcycle from high school?”

“No. And Harry also owned a motorcycle, Dad.” He’d also crashed it and ended up in the hospital. There was no way she’d tell her dad about it.

“Well, I’m already biased, so Harry is good no matter what he does," her dad said. "I’m team Harry, by the way. That’s what you kids say, right? Team Edward. Team Jacob.”

Y/N dropped her face into her palms, shaking her head in defeat.

Her dad cleared his throat. “You and Harry are endgame, Y/N.”

“Oh my God, Dad!” She couldn’t help laughing as she looked up, smoothed her hair down and held it at her neck. “Marcy made you watch Riverdale again, didn’t she?”

“I kind of like it now,” he said thoughtfully. “It’s so dramatic. Everyone’s in love with everyone.”

“Yeah. I’m pretty sure the show writers are men your age.”

“That makes a lot more sense.”

“Anyway,” she giggled lightly. “You don’t have to worry about me. I’m team Harry, too; I can’t believe you made me say that.” She rolled her eyes, shaking her head. “Blake and I were a long time ago. I love Harry more than I can put into words.” She leaned back into her chair and puffed out her cheeks. “Though sometimes I feel like I can never be good enough. He’s just this wonderful person who does great things, and I’m just...I’m still trying to figure my life out.”

“And what’s wrong with that?”

She bit a nail. “People don’t think we’re compatible.”

“Do Marcy and I seem compatible to you?”

“You and Marcy are different.”

“How?”

“I don’t know. You just are.”

No couple was like her and Harry, which could be a good thing sometimes. Just not recently. Their conversation last night had made her feel more assured, but there was still this unsettling feeling she couldn’t seem to shake off. She’d told herself it only mattered what Harry thought of her; who cared about the others? As it turned out, she cared. More than she wanted to.

“Your feelings are normal, darling,” her dad said, rubbing the stubble on his chin. “To love is to set down your arrogance and allow yourself to be vulnerable. It proves that your love is worth it. Harry is worth it. And when something or someone is worth it, you have to hold onto them.”

“That’s beautiful, Dad," Y/N said, her eyebrows high. "Mind if I steal the quote for my book?”

“It’s not mine. It was your mother’s,” her dad answered.

A brief silence arose. The last time they’d talked about her mother had been a year ago. It wasn’t because they’d get awkward now that her dad had moved on; but because either one or both of them would get sad. She could deal with awkward. Sadness, however...

“I came to see her last night,” she said, pinching her lower lip.

“I know.”

“Harry told you?” When her dad nodded, a corner of her mouth turned up. “Are you like BFFs with my boyfriend now?”

Her dad let out a short breathy laugh as he rolled his shoulders. “I think I deserved to know when my adult daughter trespassed upon a cemetery.”

“I won’t do that again. Promise,” she said to her hands while picking at her nails. “I just...wanted to feel like a teenager again. Break the rules. Do crazy things without caring about the consequences. It’s dumb, I know. But being an adult has been hard lately.”

“Tell me about it,” he agreed with a growl, and they shared a laugh.

As silence sank in, her eyes darted to his face, considering his aging features. It wasn’t until today that she realised how much older he looked than he had when she moved to London; the wrinkles on his forehead and temples stood out much more; his eyes became wearier, his lips thinner. Those three years were evident on his kind face. It made her sad that he was growing old, and she hadn’t always been the best daughter to him since her mother had passed away.

She was getting older, too.

She pushed herself up, padded over to the bed, and sat down by his side. He folded her into his arms and pressed a kiss to her temple.

“It feels good to be home,” she whispered, cheek against his chest. “I wish I was still a little girl.”

“You are,” he said, stroking her hair. “You’re my little girl. Always.”

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“Dad, where’s Mum?”

“She’s with Anne in the backyard.”

“Oh,” Y/N mumbled, frozen at the kitchen door like a Sim stuck in a glitch. It felt weird that her family still hung out with Harry’s now that she and Harry were no longer friends.

She shook her head to put aside the thoughts. “Well, I’m going out now.”

“With Celine and Amala?”

Her dad’s question stopped her before she turned. She leaned against the doorframe, one hand fumbling with the doorknob. “Why does it matter who I hang out with?”

“It matters if it’s that biker boy. What’s his name again?”

“Blake.”

“Yes.” Her dad crossed his arms, his eyes squinted. “The other parents aren’t very fond of him. I’ve heard stories about what he’s done to those girls.”

Blake had a bad reputation with the parents, mainly because he’d broken their daughters’ hearts.

“Well, he hasn’t done anything to me.”

“Yet,” her dad stated, his brows pinched together.

Y/N lifted her shoulder in a half-shrug. “Maybe I’ll break his heart this time.”

“Y/N…”

“Bye!”

She zipped out of the kitchen just in time Blake’s motorcycle roared in the drive. He opened the visor, smiled at her with his eyes, and she mounted his vehicle and put on her helmet.

“As slow as you can,” she said, looking back at the house.

Her dad was watching from the living room window as the motorcycle rumbled to life and drove away.

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Y/N was helping Marcy in the kitchen when she looked out of the window and saw Blake’s car in front of their house. The doorbell rang. She cursed under her breath and told Marcy she’d be right back. As she scuttled out of the kitchen, her dad was heading to the front door. She slipped right past him and reached for the handle first.

"Hi, Y/N," Blake said as he greeted Y/N and her dad with a respectful smile. “Good morning, Mr Y/L/N.”

“It’s ‘sir’ to you.”

“Yes, sir.”

Y/N slapped her forehead as her dad gave Blake the firmest handshake she’d ever seen. If Blake had hands like Niall, he’d be in the hospital with broken fingers.

“What gave me the pleasure to finally see you on our doorsteps today?”

“Dad.”

Her dad ignored her when she nudged him with an elbow. “Funny how you’d dated my daughter for two years, and we’ve never had a proper conversation.”

“Forgive me, sir. I was a stupid teenager back then,” Blake said as he rubbed the back of his neck. It was only then that Y/N saw him holding a brown paper box in his left arm.

“Well, let’s put the past in the past,” her dad said, squeezing her shoulder as she shot him a glare.

Blake pointed to his car. “I’m going back to London now. I stopped by to see if Y/N needed a ride.”

Her dad pushed out his lower lip as he turned to her. “You’re going with Harry tonight, right?”

“Yes. But thank you for driving me home yesterday,” she said to Blake. “How’s your grandma?”

“Oh, she’s fine. Turned out she lied about being sick so I’d come home to see her,” he breathed out a laugh and cleared his throat as he held out the box. “She made cupcakes and asked me to bring some to you.”

Before Y/N could answer, her dad took the box and went back inside. She decided to ignore him.

“I can’t believe she remembers me,” she told Blake.

“You were the only girl I’ve brought to see her,” he said.

Not knowing how to reply, she shuffled from one foot to the other, hands clasped behind her back. Blake took it as a sign to end the conversation as he told her he’d see her in London, then returned to his car.

She waited until he started the engine to close the door and came back to the kitchen. Marcy was reorganising their fridge, while Y/N’s dad counted the cupcakes in the box.

“...ten, eleven, twelve.”

He picked one and looked at her. When she waved her hand for permission, he took a bite and released a satisfied hum. She knew Grandma Roman's cupcakes were good; she'd eaten them plenty of times before.

“Good morning!” Harry said like a game show host as he entered from their backdoor and grabbed her from behind. “Girlfriend.” He kissed her cheek before turning to her dad and Marcy. “Bradford. Marcy.”

“There’s my superstar!” Marcy said with a quick glance over her shoulder.

“Want one?” Y/N’s dad held the box toward Harry, who brightened like a kid in a candy store as he leaned forward to grab a cupcake.

“Blake just brought them here,” Y/N told him.

He froze for a second, then took a large bite and started chewing extravagantly. “I’ll eat all of these so you won’t get poisoned by another man's love," he said with his mouth full.

She looped an arm around his head from below and drew his face in so she could whisper in his ear, “Don’t be jealous. I swallow your love all the time.”

His hand instantly flew to her mouth to muffle her giggles when her dad stared at them questioningly. “What is it?”

“Y/N said a bad word," Harry said, his dimple growing.

Her dad jabbed at her with his finger, and she crossed her arms, scowling at Harry. “Teacher’s pet."

Once he finished the cupcake, she dragged him to the living room. Their mouths attached right as they were alone. She snogged him hungrily, back against the wall, fingers in his hair. His massive hands went under her velvet tennis skirt and caressed her arse, while his mouth trailed down her neck, sucking the sensitive spot below her ear. She loved when he paid attention to that spot; it made her toes tingle.

She could hear her dad talking to Marcy about building a birdhouse in their backyard. They’d spend at least an hour on any topic related to the garden, so Harry and Y/N could have sex right on the sofa in the middle of the living room without getting caught. She just didn’t want to risk it, even though that idea was pervertishly exciting.

“My room. Come on.”

“Can’t,” he groaned and held her back by the hips. Her fake shocked expression got him laughing as he kissed between her brows, the tip of her nose, her upper lip. “I miss you terribly, but I still need to talk to my mum.”

“You haven’t?”

“She’d gone out when I woke up,” he sighed and rubbed her pout with his thumb. “I’ll come back to play with you later. Promise.”

She stuck out her tongue, eyes rolled upward. As he kissed her neck and placed his hands on her bum, the sound of someone clearing their throat broke them apart. They saw Alice and Niall watching them judgingly from the kitchen door.

“I ate some of your Blake cupcakes. Hope you don’t mind,” Niall said with an apologetic grin.

“Told ya he was worse,” Y/N said to Harry, who arched his lips in a smirk and kissed her temple before he left. Niall raised his palm, expecting a high-five as Harry strutted by, but Harry high-fived Niall’s forehead instead and disappeared through the front door.

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Harry’s mum was crying.

He didn’t know what had happened as he’d just woken up and gone to the kitchen. Gemma had spent the night at her best friend’s place, so there were just him and his mum.

His mum wiped her tears with the sleeve of her jumper and poured black coffee into the ‘No. 1 MUM’ mug – a gift from Gemma on Mother’s Day. Harry stood like a ghost in the doorway, picking at his nails while holding his breath. Like observing a squirrel from a distance, if he made a sound or came too close, it would run away and find a place to hide. His mum wouldn’t run and hide, but she'd fake a smile and act like nothing was wrong. There was nothing worse than wanting to cry but couldn’t.

“Why are you standing there, dork?”

Gemma’s voice made him jump, and his mum shot her head up, looking straight at him like a deer in headlights. Gemma stopped beside him, her mouth formed a silent ‘o’ as she finally caught on to what was happening.

Gemma wasn’t like him. She was straightforward.

“Mum, are you crying?”

Their mum sighed. She gracefully slid into a chair, lifted the mug to her chapped lips with both hands, and blew into her coffee. Harry and Gemma exchanged worrying looks as they walked in. Harry sat on their mum’s left, Gemma on her right. Their mum put down her coffee without having taken a sip and wrapped each arm around each of them.

“I’m sorry you had to see that,” she said, her voice too brittle, like it would break if she spoke any louder.

“Was it something Gemma did?” Harry asked, and Gemma swatted him on the arm.

“It’s ‘He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named’,” she said.

Harry’s heart jumped a little, then he saw the distress on his mum's and Gemma’s face, and his mouth clamped shut before he blurted out something stupid.

Gemma hated their dad. When she was in a good mood, she called him Winton. The other times, she’d refer to him as ‘that man’, ‘You-Know-Who’, or ‘He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named’; she was obsessed with Harry Potter.

Harry felt wrong to still call their dad Dad inside his head. In front of Gemma and their mum, he wouldn’t mention Dad at all. The last time he’d done it, his mum had cried. She didn’t hate his dad; she loved him, which was much worse.

“You two don’t have to worry about me,” she said, looking out of the window by the sink. The sky was grey and turning dark. “This kind of weather makes me tired and moody.” Then she asked Harry, “what would you like for breakfast?”

As he opened his mouth to answer, Gemma interjected, “Is he coming back? Is that why you’re upset? Let me know and I won’t let him come near our house, I–”

“Gemma,” their mother cut her off. “He’s not coming back. He’s never coming back.” Then she paused for an indecisive moment. “A friend of mine saw him in Manchester last night; he was with someone else. His new wife. Maybe his girlfriend. But he’s never coming back.”

Harry didn’t know why she could say something in a matter-of-fact tone and still make it sound so sad. It must have taken her years of practice to act like she was fine when she wasn't.

Before he knew it, a tear had escaped the corner of his eye. He quickly wiped it off his cheek so his mum and sister couldn’t see him cry. He didn’t want to make this moment about him.

Gemma wrapped her arms around their mum’s waist, and he did it too, his arms over Gemma's. They both rested their head against their mother's chest. Being on her left, he could hear the beating of her heart so clearly as if it was his own. If hugs could heal all types of wounds, his mum's hugs could bring a dead person back to life. He would never tell her, though; stuff like this was too dark for her liking.

“We don’t need him; we’re fine the way we are. Just the three of us,” Gemma said. She sounded like she was going to cry, but Harry knew she’d never cry. At least not in front of him.

The last time he’d seen her cry had been a few weeks ago. This boy named Eli had just broken up with her. She’d been in her room. The door had been left unlocked (she must have forgotten to lock it). He’d burst in to prank her with a plastic snake when she shot her head up, mascara running down her face. He’d been frozen when she marched over and slammed the door in his face. They’d never talked about that.

“Just the three of us,” their mum repeated, sounding more cheerful than before as she squeezed them a little tighter. “Now I’m going to make you some eggs, and after breakfast, we’ll grow some new plants in our garden, yeah?”

“Can I use the shovel this time?” Gemma asked.

“She always gets to use the shovel!” Harry objected.

After breakfast, their mum went to the shop and brought home a new shovel.

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When Harry returned to the house, he found Gemma sitting with their mum in the kitchen.

With a twitch of her lips, which was meant to be a smile, his mother motioned to the chair beside her and told him to take a seat. His heart was losing its rhythm as he padded around the table to sit on her left.

“I’ve told her,” Gemma said right as he opened his mouth. Mouth still open, he glanced at his mum, who brought a hand to his face and cupped his cheek.

“You might think I’m angry at you, but I’m not, Harry,” she said. “I can’t stop you from wanting to take him back. He’s still your father.”

“He’s not our father. He’s Winton,” Gemma said, eyes piercing at Harry. “Tell her.”

He couldn’t. And his mum knew it. She batted Gemma’s request away with an easy wave of her hand and said, “Your brother is entitled to his own feelings, Gem. Besides, Winton–” it was the first time he’d heard her say that name “–has paid for our losses with his own. I don’t think I can ever forgive him for what he’s done to us, but I do feel sorry for him. And I think Harry has done the right thing by treating him and his daughter with kindness. And Gemma, you have also done the right thing by being protective of your brother.”

“I was protecting all three of us.” Gemma pouted like a little girl as she snuggled into their mother’s arm.

“It’s always gonna be the three of us, Gem,” their mother said, stroking their hair tenderly. “No matter who comes and goes in and out of our lives. We’re together forever. You’re always gonna be my babies. Nothing is going to change that.”

When Harry heard a sniffle, he almost didn’t pay attention, until he saw Gemma covering her eyes, her shoulders rising and falling unsteadily.

She was crying. What had happened? Was it because of him? Oh no, what had he done?

“Ashton broke up with me,” she muttered in sobs.

“Son of a bitch!” Harry half-shouted. Their mum shot him a disapproving glare, which he ignored as his hands squeezed into fists, clenching so hard his knuckles turned white. He felt like he could punch a hole in the wall or kick a chair to release his anger.

The last time he’d seen Gemma cry, she’d cried over an asshole. Now she was crying over another asshole. This time must be worse because she didn’t lock herself in a room. Her tears just came falling, and they didn’t stop.

Harry didn’t know much about Asher because Gemma barely talked about her relationships. But he’d always sensed something douchey about that rich bloke.

“Was he cheating on you?” he asked.

“No.” Gemma shook her head. “It’s nothing like that.” She kept her face down and rubbed her eyes with the heel of her palm. “It’s not an official break up. He asked for a short break…”

“Fucking asshole.” Harry exhaled sharply, his lip drawn back in a snarl. “Do you want me to talk to him?”

“No, Harry, please. I don’t want you to do anything. Just–” she halted to suck in a rapid breath “–I just want you to know. Please don’t do anything.”

His stomach twisted as he got up and wrapped his arms around his mum and Gemma. When he was small, he’d wished to be older and bigger, so he could hold them both at once and protect them from all the bad things in the world. Now that they fit so perfectly in his embrace, the best he could do was simply be their shoulder to cry on.

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Isaac should have knocked.

Three sets of eyes fell on him like he’d committed a crime in broad daylight. He was about to apologise and return to the living room when he caught a glimpse of Gemma, and noticed the faint black smudges below her bottom lashes.

She’d been crying. Harry looked like he needed a punching bag. And Anne was staring blankly at her coffee cup.

It wasn’t because of Isaac, was it? Had Gemma told them what had happened that day outside the coffee shop? And yesterday in the car. And last night, when she brought him an extra blanket before bed. All they’d done was kiss, and yet he felt like he’d ruined her life. He wouldn’t be surprised if Harry tackled him to the floor right this instant.

It was Gemma who got up first. She blinked rapidly as if to hold back her tears and brushed past him out of the kitchen.

“There you are, Isaac,” Anne said as she pushed away from the table. “Sit. I’ll make you breakfast.”

“Thanks, Anne. You’re the best,” Isaac said and pulled up a seat across from Harry.

Isaac could see his snowball of lies rolling straight downhill at full speed, and right before it crashed down on him, Harry broke the silence.

“Did Gem say anything to you on the drive here?”

“No, she didn’t,” Isaac said. “Did something happen? Was she crying?”

Harry furiously raked his fingers through his hair. “That son of a bitch broke up with her.”

“Asher?”

“Yeah.”

“When?”

“Before she came here with you, I think. She didn’t say anything at all?”

“No.” Isaac shook his head, his right fist tightened on his knee under the table. They’d kissed three times, and she hadn’t bothered to tell him about the breakup.

At least now he knew the killer look on Harry’s face had been for Asher, not him. And only his first kiss with Gemma had been wrong; even when it had felt everything but.

“Mum, I’m going to Y/N’s,” Harry announced, then came to give Anne a kiss before he left.

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Gemma knocked on the door of Harry’s dorm room, fingers clutching the hem of her shirt.

Maybe she should have let him know she’d come to London. She’d been afraid he’d say he was busy. She had to see him. Not to talk about her recent breakup, of course. Harry didn’t know about the guy because she never told him.

Her friends had warned her beforehand that this relationship was going to go sour, and as always, she hadn’t listened. She didn’t want to come to them and whine about it now; they’d punish her with endless I told you so’s.

When the door swung open, it wasn’t Harry.

A tall blond-haired lad asked Gemma whom she was looking for. He looked like a human Ken doll and smelt like a Calvin Klein holiday pop-up. Her mind stuttered for a whole second.

“Sorry, I must have come to the wrong room.”

“Wait. Gemma, right?” he asked, pointing a finger at her. “You’re Harry’s sister.”

“Does Harry live here?”

“Yes, I’m his roommate. Isaac.” He opened the door wider and nodded his head inside. “Come in. Harry will be back soon.”

She reluctantly entered. The room was neat and had a mild floral scent, which made her doubt her brother actually lived here; his room at home was always a pigsty. When she saw his guitar in the corner of the room, her shoulders rounded with relief.

Isaac sat on the bottom bunk and beckoned her over. She did as she was bid and took a seat in the chair across from him.

“He didn’t know you were coming?” he asked.

“No. I wanted to surprise him.” It didn’t matter if it wasn’t the truth. She barely knew this lad anyway.

Isaac looked away, his lips pressed together as he drummed his fingers on the mattress. The conversation turned sour. Neither knew what to say. Gemma scanned her eyes around the room, desperately wanting to find a topic to discuss so they wouldn’t have to stay silent until Harry returned. Fuck, she hated small talks.

“You’re a photographer?” she asked as soon as she spotted the expensive cameras displayed on the shelf by the bunk bed.

“I major in Photography.”

“Wicked.”

He chuckled at her awkward comment. His eyes were even bluer and clearer than the ocean. Was that a dimple she saw? Shit, had she been staring?

“What do you study, Gemma? You’re a student, right?”

“I major in Economics,” her voice was so soft it sounded like she was embarrassed by the answer. She wasn’t. This guy was just really attractive, and attractive people intimidated her.

“So you’re really smart,” he said, a line appeared between his perfectly even brows.

“People who do arts are really smart, too.”

“I never said we aren’t.” He lifted his shoulders. “But in my opinion, economists are up here on the 'really smart' scale.” He raised his hand above his head, which got her beaming. “I can’t deal with numbers. They make my head hurt,” he added. “Harry, on the other hand, is excellent at those sorts of things. And somehow he wants to become an actor.”

“I know right? I hate how almost perfect he is,” Gemma groaned. “But he’s a very messy person. Has he been a terrible roommate?”

“He’s actually pleasant to live with. My last roommate always had sex while I was in the room,” Isaac said with a look of disgust. “I used to have the upper bunk. One night I thought there was an earthquake until I heard them moaning.”

“Oh my God,” she exclaimed, covering her mouth and giggling lightly.

Isaac pretended to shiver with his whole body. “I get goosebumps just thinking about it. When I moved to this room, I went straight to the bottom one,” he said, patting the empty spot beside him.

Another moment of awkward silence passed by.

“I’m just thankful that Harry doesn’t bring girls back here," Isaac said. "Some nights he doesn’t come back at all, so it’s like I’ve got this room all to myself.”

Gemma rolled her eyes. “When he was at home, he always snuck out in the middle of the night. He was such a ladies man.”

“Still is.”

“Oh no!” Harry’s voice made their heads shoot to the door. “How long have you two been talking about me?”

“Not long enough,” Isaac answered as he pushed himself up and grabbed his black camera bag on the desk beside the bed. To Gemma, he said, “When we meet again, I expect more of his embarrassing stories.”

“Hurry the fuck up, Isaac.” Harry aggressively clapped his hands like Gordon Ramsay on those cooking shows. “Lindsey is waiting downstairs. And she told me to tell you to hurry the fuck up.”

Of course Isaac had a girlfriend. Gemma didn't expect anything and still, she was disappointed. She bet his girlfriend looked like a Barbie doll.

“Coming, coming.” Isaac threw the bag over his shoulder and saluted Gemma as he walked backwards toward the door. “Hope to see you again soon, Gemma,” he said, his little dimple popping again.

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.

There must be something wrong with her. Gemma was sure of it.

She sat on her childhood bed, back against the headboard, chewing on her nail. Despite having stopped crying a while ago, her eyes still felt too heavy as more tears threatened to spill at any moment.

She heard a knock on the door, and assumed it was her mum because Harry never knocked (when he did, never so gently). Too bad, it wasn't her mum.

Isaac lifted a hand awkwardly to say hi when she opened the door, a boyish grin stretching his rosy lips. He had what she liked to call (in her head) ‘a secret dimple’. Hers and Harry’s dimples would go all out with only a slight twitch of their mouths, while Isaac’s dimple was reserved for certain people – those he cared a bit more than the others to smile a bit wider so his dimple became visible. It always was when he saw her.

She decided not to think too much about it.

“Your mum told me to tell you to come downstairs for breakfast,” he said.

Had anyone told him he looked like a Ken doll?

“I’ve already eaten with Harry this morning.” She rubbed her forearms while avoiding eye contact. “Anything else?”

God, she sounded like a bitch. It’d sounded less rude in her head.

“Are you okay?” he asked, unbothered by her obnoxious attitude. As she took too long to answer (she wasn’t going to, anyway), he went straight to the point. “Why didn’t you tell me that you and your boyfriend broke up?”

“We didn’t actually break up, he–” broke up with me “We took a short break.”

“After you’d told him about us?”

“No. I haven’t got a chance to.”

She couldn’t believe she was lying to Isaac. It shouldn’t have come as a surprise as she hadn’t been truthful to anyone since Winton had returned, not even to herself. She’d said she didn’t want to see him; she’d lied. She’d said she couldn’t understand why Harry could forgive Winton; she’d lied. She’d said she’d been in a happy relationship; she’d lied. She’d said she didn’t like Isaac, not like that; she’d lied.

She’d been lying so much it got easier and easier each time. Now it was impossible to stop.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Isaac repeated the question she’d tried to avoid.

“Didn’t feel like it was important,” she said to her feet.

“Wow, okay.”

She looked at him through her lashes. His secret dimple was gone. His jawline turned sharper as he tried not to frown.

“You know what? Forget it,” he sounded out of breath as he dropped his head and rubbed the corner of his eye with a finger. She pulled on his sleeve, and he backed away, still gazing at the floor.

“I’m done with whatever this is, Gem,” he said. “I’m tired of being somebody’s temporary something. Second choice, an opportunity, a rebound, whatever you call it.”

She knew what he meant. Y/N had chosen Harry over him. Gemma didn’t know much about his relationship with Emilia, but that girl had exploited Isaac’s kindness. He was too nice for everyone, especially Gemma.

“It’s me, Isaac. I’m the problem,” she said before he turned away, closing her eyes as it felt like she was talking to herself and not to him. “I think something’s wrong with me.”

“What are you saying?”

She allowed herself to look at him. His doll-like lips curved into a frown. All she could think about was how pretty he looked.

“I’m messed up,” she mumbled, pointing to the left side of her chest. “In here…

“I’ve spent my whole life chasing after men who reminded me of my dad. I throw myself into relationships in which I have to fight for a man’s love and attention. And when there’s someone who genuinely cares about me, I push him away because I don’t feel like I deserve it. I hurt people who love me and cry over the ones who don’t. And you’re the last person I want to hurt because…

“Because you’re the best of them all.”

After this, Isaac might never look at her the same way again. The last guy she’d opened up to had told her she’d had daddy issues and needed therapy, which wasn’t entirely wrong though he could have been nicer about it. Isaac, however, would never say such things.

“I also feel that way,” he said after a moment’s silence.

She nodded, biting her lower lip. She thought she knew what he meant, until he added, “You’re the best of them all, Gem.”

Her eyes shot at him, and his secret dimple reappeared. Before she could restart her brain, he took one large step, his long arms draped around her.

.

.

.

“Want some help with that?”

Harry’s head snapped up, his eyes widened at the man in his drive. He recognised the man right away. That was his neighbour. Y/N’s dad.

Harry had only talked to Y/N's mum because Y/N's dad – with a squared stern face and angry brows – reminded Harry of his Biology teacher. Mr Johnson hated Harry because Harry barely passed most of his exams. But Bradford barely knew Harry beside the fact that Harry lived next door and was friends with Y/N.

Harry shifted his eyes between his bicycle lying defeatedly on the lawn and back at Bradford, who was still waiting for an answer. Harry wanted to say he got this. But his hands were covered with the ‘black stuff’ from having spent the last hour trying to tighten the chain on his bicycle.

Bradford broke into a toothy smile – which changed his entire face (in a good way) – and walked across the yard toward Harry.

Harry stepped aside, hands in his trousers pockets as Bradford got down on one knee and observed the crime scene. Harry felt like he should report what had happened though it was obvious. “The chain is too loose. It keeps coming undone while I ride.”

“I see.” Bradford slapped his hands on his thighs and pushed himself upright. He mimicked Harry’s posture with both hands in his pockets as he cocked his head toward his house. “Bring it to my garage. I’ll fix it.”

Harry stumbled over the bicycle, picked it up and rolled it after Bradford.

Y/N had always complained about her dad and described him as somewhat apathetic and narcissistic. Now that Harry had interacted with Bradford, he thought Bradford was pretty cool. Probably because Harry didn’t know what it was like to have a dad who didn’t only fix his bicycle, but also taught him how to maintain and clean it.

He wished Bradford would play football with him and take him fishing, too.

“I admire you, Harry,” Bradford said as he sat on a tool and wiped his greasy hands with a tattered rag. “It’s Harry, right?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Call me Bradford.” Bradford smiled again. He looked like the Joker when he smiled. Not in a creepy way; his smile was just really wide and his teeth were really neat and white. Maybe he hated smiling because those teeth could blind people.

“I can’t. My mum would scold me.”

“You’re a good kid, Harry,” Bradford said as he clasped Harry’s bony shoulder with his large hand. “And I admire you because Y/N is really fond of you. It’s hard to get close to her, but you’re different. She never listens to me but would do anything you say.”

Bradford made it sound like Y/N was a little monster while she was the total opposite. When Harry thought of her, he thought of candy floss and daisies, and vanilla; she smelt like vanilla, and he loved vanilla.

“I really like Y/N,” he said, and when Bradford’s bright smile began to dim, Harry quickly added, “As a friend, sir. She’s like my little sister.”

To be honest, Harry didn’t think of Y/N as his little sister. She talked like a kid his age (only more naive), and he’d already got a sister. He and Gemma didn’t get along as well as he and Y/N did. He wasn’t sure what Y/N was to him. Definitely not a sister.

Bradford didn’t comment on what Harry had said. He patted Harry on the arm, got up and pointed to the bicycle. “If there’s any more problem, bring it to me.”

“Yes, sir,” Harry said, nodding quickly.

.

.

.

“I think it’s so cute that yours and Y/N’s family decided to build a gate between your backyards,” Alice said as soon as she saw Harry. She and Niall had brought the wooden chairs from the veranda outside to sit beside the tiny tree, which had grown about thirty centimetres since Harry’s mum had planted it.

Harry towered over to Niall and Alice while they sat like The Thinker, contemplating the plant as if it would grow legs and dance for them if they waited long enough.

“You really have nothing to do, huh?” he asked, holding back a laugh.

“Is this where you first met Y/N?” Alice asked him.

“Yeah.”

“You two should get married here,” Niall said.

“How tall will this tree be when you two finally get married?” Alice asked.

“Don’t know.”

“Ha!” Alice stabbed a finger at him. “You have thought about marrying Y/N.”

“Please let me know when you propose.”

Harry whipped around. It was a male voice so he didn’t know why his heart nearly burst through his chest thinking Y/N had heard the conversation.

Bradford stopped beside Harry and clasped Harry’s shoulder. “Got time? I need some help with the birdhouse.”

“Oh, you’re building it today?” Harry asked.

“Yup. You’re leaving tonight and I need help.”

They crossed the fence to the wooden shed in Bradford's backyard, which he’d built after the storm that had knocked down the tree.

There wasn’t a lot of work to do with the birdhouse. Harry had built one for an art project back in middle school; it was pretty simple. Bradford had only asked for his help so they’d finish quicker.

Harry cut the large piece of wood into different parts, and drilled holes into each of them so Bradford could sand the edges of the newly drilled holes.

“I can’t believe I used to fix your bicycle. Now you’re doing all the heavy work, and you’re dating my daughter," Bradford said.

“Dating Y/N is hard work, too, sir.”

“What?”

Harry stopped abruptly, his face pallid. “No, that was a joke, I–”

“Just messing with you.” Bradford laughed and motioned him to continue. “Y/N is hard work. So headstrong, just like her mother. But I think you’ll be fine with her. She’s different with you.”

“Thank you, sir.”

“Stop calling me sir. It’s Bradford.”

“Bradford,” Harry said.

“Good.” Bradford flashed his Joker smile, his teeth still as bright as they’d always been.

“So how’s the thing with your dad?” he asked while they were assembling the pieces together. Harry raised his brows, taken aback. “You don’t have to answer, by the way,” Bradford added. “Y/N didn’t tell me. Niall Horan did.”

Harry snorted. “You don’t have to call him Niall Horan. Just Niall.”

“Marcy kept calling him Niall Horan because she’s obsessed with him. I can’t just call him Niall.” Bradford stood straight and started stretching, his back made a pop. “Anyway, forget that I asked.” He stepped back, hands on his hips as he admired their finished work. “What do you think?”

“We should paint it,” Harry said.

Bradford stuck out his lower lip, rubbing his chin like an artist in a gallery. “Yeah. Maybe tomorrow. Y/N would kill me if I kept you here for too long.”

“Where is she?”

“Bedroom. Serious writer mode.”

Harry nodded understandingly as he wiped his dusty hands with a cloth. “I just told my mum about him. My dad."

“How did it go?”

“Better than I expected. She was fine with him coming back into our lives. I don’t know if she was just saying that or…”

“I think she meant it,” Bradford said. “It’s been twenty years, hasn’t it? And Anne is one of the most forgiving and loving people I know. You and Gemma are adults now; it’s fair that you get to make up your own mind.”

Harry pursed his lips. “You’re probably right."

“Anyway.” Bradford waved dismissively. “Thanks for your help. Now go check on Y/N.” Then he jabbed at Harry, his face stern again. “I trust you not to follow her into a cemetery again.”

“Never again, sir,” Harry said, straightened like a soldier.

.

.

.

Y/N stirred awake when she felt a warm body snuggling her from behind. She didn’t have to look to know it was Harry; his ‘Harry’ scent, which she was shamelessly addicted to, couldn’t be mistaken with anything else.

He held her waist tighter, pressed his face into her hair and said in a raspy voice, “Hi, baby. Sleep well?”

“I can’t believe I fell asleep,” she groaned and flipped over to face him, slipping her hands under the pillow. “How long have you been watching me sleep, Edward?”

A corner of his lips rose at the Twilight reference. He rubbed her stomach and trailed his hand under her shirt. His warmth against her cool skin made her shiver.

“Actually, your dad told me to go check on you.”

“Hmm. Did he give you shit for taking me to the cemetery last night?”

“Psst. He knew you forced me to go.”

“You’re trying to steal my dad. Not cool, Harry.” She scrunched up her nose which made him laugh. He brushed her hair out of her face and pressed a kiss to her cheek.

“Been writing?”

“I pulled an allnighter.”

“I knew it,” he said, probably to himself. “Why do you keep working on the story, though? I thought it’d been finished and sent.”

“Sent to Laura, who sent it right back.”

“Why?”

“Because it wasn’t good enough.”

“She said it was good,” Harry said.

Y/N flipped onto her back and placed her arm over her forehead as he propped his head up in his hand. “Not good good. Not ready-to-publish good,” she said tiredly.

“It’s the story of us. It’s good good.”

She squinted her eyes at him. “If you’re suggesting that I use your name for PR–”

“What? No. Why do you always think the worst of me?”

“You tell me.”

He rolled his eyes and snorted at her pouty face. “What I meant was, it’s a story about us, so it's good the way you wrote it.”

She flipped onto her stomach, cheek in her hand as she blew out her cheeks. “After all the changes I've made, it’s not the story of us anymore.”

“Is it supposed to be a good thing.”

“If I get published. Yeah.”

“Why do you want to get published?”

“Because I want to become a real writer?” She looked at him funny. Did he really ask her that?

“You are a real writer, Bambi,” he said softly and tucked a strand behind her ear. “So when you get published, it should be your original story. Childhood doesn’t last forever, but in your world…” he poked at her chest “...it does…

“And our childhood was too beautiful to be contaminated by those commercialised inputs. I want our children to read it and see us. Not some fictional characters who are nothing like us.”

“Our children?” She wiggled her eyebrows.

“Our separate children because we’ll obviously marry other people,” he joked and she playfully shoved his head into the pillow.

She climbed on top of him to straddle his waist and brought his palm to her cheek. He stroked it with his thumb. “I love when you say things,” she said. “You should be a writer.”

“But I’m not.” He slipped his hand free to boop her nose. “You are. You’ve always been. And I’m your biggest fan.”

“You’ll have to compete with my dad for that position.”

“Oh?” He pretended to look worried. “Okay then, between you and me, I’m your biggest fan.”

.

.

.

Harry had fallen asleep with his head on Y/N's shoulder. He’d asked if he could stay and watch her write. “You look sexy when you momentarily forget I exist,” he’d joked. Fifteen minutes later, he was snoring.

She carefully propped his head on a pillow, put down her laptop, and slid out of bed, taking her phone with her. Once she was outside her room, she closed the door and called Laura.

“Yes, my favourite client of all time?” Laura said cheerfully. She always said that, but Y/N didn’t think she meant it.

“Hey, Laura. About my book, I...uhm...I was wondering if it’d be okay if we...you know...discuss the changes again? To be honest, I don’t feel comfortable with most of them.”

“Y/N,” Laura stressed the name like it was the hardest word in the dictionary. Y/N bit her lip as she braced herself for a long speech of ‘trust me, I’m your agent’. But then Laura said, “You’re the writer. I may have given you a bunch of notes, but they were just suggestions. You’re the decision-maker here. It’s your story, and it’s good. That’s why I wanted to work with you in the first place.”

Y/N’s heart leapt as she pressed a fist to her forehead.

“Send me an email of the changes you’d like to make. We’ll discuss when you get back to London, okay?”

“Thank you. Thank you so much!” Y/N brightened. She couldn’t wait to tell Harry and her dad. They would get so excited and smug and probably tell her, ‘I told you to believe in yourself’ or some cheesy shit like that.

She loved her goofy men.

“This is why you’re my favourite client, Y/N,” Laura said before they ended the call. “You always know what you want.”

[everyhowlmarksthedead]

“SHOULD I TRY?”

GILLY LOPEZ X READER

@chibsytelford asked: Reader sees Gilly, Coco, EZ, and Angel in a bar and they all have been eyeing her up, Coco, EZ and Angel all try their luck with her but she is only interested in Gilly. He finally gets enough confidence to ask her out on a date 😊

Serie Index. Chapter 1.

Word count: 2115

Author comments: I hope you all enjoy. English isn’t my first language, I’m sorry if I have some mistakes with grammar. At first, it's gonna be one-shot but I truly like this idea, so I'm gonna write three chapters. Who knows? Maybe more.

You can't remember when was the last time you went out with your friends aka work-mates. But it's friday and have some beers and dance it's better than stay at home with Netflix on and eating cold pizza. So, here you're in front of the mirror. Black shorts high-waist and a body of the same color. Your hair is a goal to anyone this night, falling on your back like a brave waterfall. You also decided to wear those pair of Nike classic shoes, because night is young and you're not a high-heels fan. Make up on point, something soft and natural. You can't be more proud. And of course, a good outfit needs a leather jacket. Belongs to your mother, he gave you at your sixteen' before you found it in an old box, with some 80's stuff. Vintage as fuck.

You meet your friends at “Freakin' out”, a bar where you can listen and dance all kind of music; pop, latin, rock... Lots of cultures at the same local. It's one of your favourites places of Santo Padre, people there is kind and fun, the only things you need after a looooong week working without a break. “Hey, (Y/N)!”, you know Debbie is already drunk when she starts to shake a hand on air with a lot of energy and a happy smile in her lips. Oh, for god's sake. You also know that probably you'll have to bring her home, 'cause she'll not remember her own name at the end of the night.

“What's up, guys?”, you said, giving a hug to everyone at your table. You take a sit by Alex's side, your best friend. You met him four years ago at the supermarket. A random day talking about tomatoes and carrots, 'cause you love cook and those ones are your worst enemies in a sauce. That was pretty fun and you two always remember that fact when you're drunk. “What are you drinking, hm...?”, you ask looking every drink on the table with curiosity.

“Tequila!”, Debbie is on point, everybody start to laugh loudly. You shake your head before getting up to your way to the bartender. You wait with your arms supported on the bar, having a look around you. People dancing, drinking, talking about all and nothing, having a good time. And then, before you put your eyes again in the bartender, you can see a specific table. Leather jackets, tattoos, shitty faces, empty beers and rings decorating their fingers. Bikers. The Mayans ones. You know them, not personally, but who the hell didn't heard before about them in Santo Padre. They make the rules.

“Oh, god, please not tonight...” you whisper to yourself when one of the Mayans gets up and walk to your position. Supporting his worked body against the bar, he looks to you from top to down. You try to ignore him, making him believe you didn't notice his presence.

“Yo', I'm Angel, but I can be whoever you want me to be”, he offers you a hand waiting to be shake. A funny smile in his lips and you asking in silence to yourself if this works with other girls. It's not gonna work with you. You're not into bad boys.

“Great, congratulations”, you answer turning your no-friends face at him. He knows. You're not that easy.

“Hey, I'm tryin' to be friendly, what's wrong with ya'?”, he asks pretending to be offended, before he starts to laugh at you.

“I have a lot of friends, thanks”.

“Do ya' know who I am?”

“Yes, I buy at your father's carnicería”, you look at him, ignoring the fact that he's a Mayan and he wants to let you know.

At that moment, he already knows he's not gonna impress you with his Harley. So, he nods in silence and comes back to his table. You can see how his crew palm his back with peals of laughters for the lost battle. Another fallen soldier. A minutes later you come back to your table too, holding a beer between your fingers.

“Only you could say ‘no’ to a Mayan... Sweet Jesus, (Y/N), you're fucking crazy”, James shakes his head. You shrug having a sip of your drink.

“Well, I actually said ‘no’ to /this/ Mayan”. Of course you've been looking at them all, and you have your interest put in one specifically. But you have the suspicion that he's not gonna ask you out.

The night go on. You dance with your girls for long minutes and good latin songs. You're hips moves so easily that seems like you've been dancing all day long. Of course, alcohol has a lot to do on it. Also you're fucking happy you decided to put your Nikes shoes, when you're friends start to complaining about the pain they feel on their feet.

Without wanting, you collide with someone at your back. You turn at him putting your hands on his chest, with a loudly laugh in your throat. “Oh, god, I'm so sorry. You ok?”, you ask, before you know another Mayan is in your way. The younger one, maybe the one they call ‘prospect’. He nods smiling with a sweet gesture. EZ Reyes. You knew him at his father's shop two months ago.

“Are you having fun? Sorry 'bout my brother's shit”, he says pointing at him with a finger, just for a moment.

“Yeah, it's been a long time since I hanged out with my friends. And... don't worry about him. I can imagine how is him”.

“Really? Please, tell me”.

“He's not you. But you already know it, smart boy”.

“So, this fact lets me share a drink with you, ah?”

“Nice try, prospect”, you palm his chest with a hand, shaking your head before leaving him in the middle of the dance floor.

You come back to your own crew, they're looking at you with a incredulous gesture. Your mates think you're terrible and probably you're gonna die alone with this attitude. For the next five minutes, James and Shawn argues with you about you should accept a drink of one of them. You roll your eyes getting up and looking for a cigar in the inside-pocket of your jacket. You need some air after four beers and the loudly voices of your friends pushing you into the Mayans. It's not what you need and you start to think maybe Netflix and cold pizza was a good plan too.

You leave your back against the wall, with a leg flexed. Smoke goes out by your nose. Fresh air always help with this kind of situations, you can't stop thinking about the idea that you're almost on your twenty seven and you only had one boyfriend. The most asshole of all. You broke up with him last year and he continues calling you to tell you your a fucking shit, before starts to cry and telling you how much he miss you. He also went to your work a couple times with flowers. You hate flowers. You hate him. You have a horrible taste to choose men, so you prefer to be alone. But, that doesn't mean you don't wanna hang out with the Mayan your eyes are on.

“Bonita, have one?”

“Sorry, what?”, you turn to the man at your left. More tattoos than man, actually. He's looking the cigar between your fingers. In silence you give him the packet, so he can pick wichever he wants.

“You smashed Angel's ego, gurl'”, he says to you, adopting the same position by your side.

“I can do it the same with yours. Look, I go to war everyday, you're not gonna intimidate me”.

“Oh, really? I was sniper”, his proud smile points at you, turning his face to look at you a little better. Probably he thinks ‘between soldiers’ could be easier to share some drinks. Poor deluded.

“I work at a preschool”.

“Shit, gurrrrl”, he laughs having a puff away. “I'm Coco”.

“(Y/N)”, you say then. “Are you all try to ask me for a drink, or a date, or something like?”

“Eres muy bonita, we had to try”, he nods.

“Yeah, for sure. . . Is the only thing you matter about? I mean, I'm more than an ass and tits”, you throw the cigar to the floor when it finished, with a sigh in your lips.

“Hey, Coco! We're leaving!”, EZ voice makes appereance, few meters away. The crew have their helmet in their hands, near of the motorbikes they drive. Probably you're never gonna see them again, and you start to feel bad about the fact that the one he likes you didn't propose nothing. The man by your side shake his head one time saying goodbye, walking to his mates. Another sigh comes out. You start to move your legs with resignation, feeling a little like the Mayans you fucked up. Maybe he's not for you in anyway. Maybe there's no men for you, in the way you want. Find someone who shares similitudes with you it's hard. You're not complicated to understand or to treat, but looks like in Santo Padre is only bad boys or asshole or both.

“Go, try it, don't be stupid”.

“You don't have nothing to lose”.

“C'mon, Gilly”.

You can't avoid to hear the guys talking to the fourth one, pushing him away of his own bike. You try not to smile 'cause it's pretty fun how they think you're gonna say ‘no’ to him too. They're wrong. Very wrong. Secretly you've been watching him from your table, from the bar, from the dance floor, trying to get his attention. Yeah, he looks exactly like Angel, EZ and Coco. But he also looks like a good guy. You heard before some jokes he made and you have to tell that he's pretty fun.

“Fuck, Gilly. Go ask her”, EZ push him into your way, making you stop your steps.

“Oh, hey...”, he says with a hand on the nape of the neck. He looks nervous, maybe he's gonna sweat in a moment. Is trying not to look at you from top to down, keeping his eyes on yours. You cross your arms on your chest, with both eyebrows up waiting for another word. But he doesn't say anything, staring at you in silence.

You snort rolling your eyes. It's not your night, it's not your week. You turn around your feet, taking the door to pull it and go back to your table, maybe you'll finish your beer and go home.

“Wait, wait!” You hear his voice again, a big hand pushing the door to not be open. “I was... asking myself... if you...”

“Yeah?”

“Ifyouwouldliketohaveadatewithme?”

“Fockin' Gilly”, Coco talks sitting on his bike.

You look at him for a moment, before giving all your attention to the shy big guy in front of you.

“A date. You and me. You know... A date”, he repeats, more or less the same question.

“I thought you would never ask”.

“So... you want?”

You give him your phone, just to make it more interesting with the “I'll call you” shit men usually do. You're one step ahead as your three older brothers teached you. With a smile, he takes it typing his number.

“I'm Gilly”.

“Yeah, I heard it because your sniper friend”, you finally say. “My friends are more pretty than me”.

“You've been talking about maths and children with the guys”, he says then, pointing the fact that he's not like Coco, EZ and Angel. You can't avoid to smile, getting down your eyes at your shoes. You leave a lock of hair behind your ear.

“I'll call you”.

“I hope so”.

[urlocalfrogmammy]

i’m scared of telling you how i feel—richard winters

inspired by

y/n is infatuated with dick. dick is infatuated with you. the only two people clueless enough not to see it is the both of you. nix is sick of it, and decides to give you a push

god bless richard winters. warnings: my love for gingers rlly pulling thru. word count 1.7k

'HQ' at bastogne was really just a tent like structure with a few foxholes and a stove. you left your foxhole, the early morning fog shrouding you as you padded over. you were met with lewis nixon and richard winters, and you saluted, greeting the men. "i want you to go with captain winters. he's doing a patrol of the line, collecting some reconnaissance will be your job." having captain nixon as your boss had many benefits, and being able to see his best friend, dick winters, was the best one. how you mooned over him. the all american solider, always the gentleman of the room. you'd first bonded at the new years party at aldbourne. it had been a relatively quiet night, yet the both of you seemed to be the only sober ones there. you’d known each other beforehand, vaguely, due to nix. but that night was when your crush began to grow. and jesus, it never stopped.

the man in question was attempting to shave his stubble, ever the stickler for rules, and was failing miserably. in your moment of distraction nixon grasped your bare hands. "where are your gloves?"

"i'm lending them to doc, sir." he pulled you towards the stove and you started to warm your hands over it, feeling the warmth tingle and smiling. "you look like your struggling there dick.” nixon smirked at him.

“yeah. yeah i am, you want a job?”

“no. not me, you can’t trust me with a razor.” he nodded in your direction, “lieutenant y/n however, she’d be an excellent candidate.” both you and winters flushed. nixon nudged you to sit down next to dick and handed you a razor. “get to work, lieutenant.”

"you don't have to—"

"it's ok, sir. i don't mind." you gently held his chin in your hand and slid the razor down the shaving cream he'd lathered on his face. dick looked at you, watching the tip of your tongue slipping from between your lips in concentration and wondering what your lips would feel like against his. he was never one to be unprofessional like nix, but god he would break every rule in the book for you. "where are we patrolling sir?" you interrupted his thoughts.

"just down the line, looking for breaks, checking on the men, that kind of thing."

you smiled at him, cleaning the razor in the tin of water. "you care about the men a lot, don't you sir."

"yeah, i do. especially when i can see them struggling." he aimed the statement at you, he'd heard your crying at night. averting your gaze with a soft smile, he took your hand gently. "you'd tell me if you needed help wouldn't you?"

"yes sir." your voice was quiet and sincere. "now let's get this finished."

you shaved the rest of dick's face in silence, with just the gentle sound of the razor grating against the stubble. you lifted the edges of the towel around from his shoulders and used them to wipe excess shaving cream off his face, and suddenly remembered that he was your superior. dropping the towel like it had burned you, you mumbled an apology. "that wasn't my... i shouldn't have done that."

"it's alright y/n. i think we've known each other long enough now." he gave you a smile, and you ducked your head, tucking a stray hair behind your ear. the snow suddenly became fascinating, and you could feel the heat rising to your cheeks as he stared at you. “shall we get going with that patrol, lieutenant?”

“sounds good sir.”

you were freezing. freezing cold. so was dick, you could tell by the way he clung to himself. you resisted the urge to shudder, instead letting out shuddery breaths and chattering your teeth. "they'll hear you from across the line y/n."

"sorry, sir."

"it's not y—"

you both heard it. an unmistakable rustle in the bushes. both you and dick grabbed and aimed your rifles, it was like second nature now. your blood thumped in your ears, and your heart thumped in your chest. there was a rustle again and you called out: “who’s there?” no reply. suddenly you heard the click of a gun and you pulled the trigger of your rifle, no thought and no hesitation. there were two thuds. one was the body of whoever you’d just shot. the other was the dull thud of your rifle landing on the snow. dick ran over to see what had been shot, his rifle still up and ready to shoot. you scuttled behind him.

the german was dead. you'd killed him instantly. in a way it made you grateful, that he hadn't suffered the way you'd seen some men suffer. "i killed him." the words tumbled out your mouth, your hands trembled and your breaths started to get shorter. dick took your wobbling hands in his. "you did what you needed to do to save us." you looked down to try and conceal the tears that had spilled over, and were now trickling down your face, but the captain gently lifted your chin up. the butterflies in your stomach were doing cartwheels at this point, as dick’s fingers brushed your tears away. “let’s go back. nix can do this.”

“but—”

“that’s an order lieutenant.” he said it ever so gently, it didn’t feel like an order. it felt like a plea.

back at HQ, dick hurried you to sit by the stove and you complied, though the shakes that wracked your body weren't from the cold. "what happened to her?" nixon asked, offering you a flask of alcohol that you took with juddering hands, thanking him quietly. "she shot a german."

"isn't that what she's trained to do—"

"it could have been anyone captain nixon."

"but it wasn't. you saved us y/n. two seconds later and we'd be on our way to an aid station." you sipped the whiskey in nixon's flask. "thought you didn't drink?"

"i don't, sir."

dick stood up and told lewis he wanted him on the patrol instead. "be careful nix."

"i will." he slung his rifle over his shoulder. “oh and dick? tell her, i’m sick of waiting.” smirking, he sauntered off.

"tell me...what?"

"he's just... you know what he's like." dick smiled and you smiled back, though your heart was heavy with disappointment. the redhead took a seat next to you and began to warm his hands too. "cold here, huh?"

you dissolved into giggles at this wholly obvious statement. dick quirked a smile at you and you couldn't stop, until the laughing became crying and you found your body wracked with sobs.

dick was on you as soon as he saw you break. an arm round your shoulder and a hand in yours, he rocked you side to side and shushed you gently. "it's stupid."

"no, no y/n it's not." it broke his heart as he felt you cling to his sleeve. repressing a smile as you tucked your head into the crook of his neck, dick tentatively ran his fingers through the matted hair of your ponytail. you seemed to enjoy the gesture, so he continued until you settled down. he felt a loss of warmth as you sat up. wiping your eyes, you mumbled an apology to the captain. "it's alright y/n. go get some sleep."

"captain winters?" it was late, but you found yourself hounded by images of the man you'd shot that afternoon. you could have tried nixon, but you knew as well as anyone he was a heavy sleeper when he was drunk. richard pulled the cloth covering his foxhole over and popped his head out. "i can't sleep." realising how stupid you were, you backed away. "sorry, i don't know why i woke you—"

"would you like to... talk?"

"i er... yeah. yeah."

"come on then." he held out a hand to help you into his foxhole. sitting side by side, dick slipped his hand into yours. "you okay?"

"yeah..." you leaned back into the wall of his foxhole. "i just have... a lot on my mind."

"about this afternoon?" his thumb began to trace circles on the back of your hand.

"yeah... not just that though. sir i—" you cut yourself off. the words you wanted to say were so right in every way, except you weren’t allowed to be in love in the army. you heavily exhaled. “you can tell me anything y/n, you know that.”

“i know dick, it’s just—”

“you called me dick.”

“oh... i’m sorry sir i—”

“i like it.” he gave you that smile that melted you and you felt relief flood you.

with that reassuring statement, you shakily admitted: "i'm scared of telling you how i feel. it's wrong, it's all wrong." dick's hand slipped out of yours and he turned away from you. "say it now. i can’t see you. makes it easier."

"does it?"

"yeah." you could hear the smile in his voice. you took three deep, steady breaths.

"i'm in love with you." dick didn't say anything, he just turned around and looked at you with those icy eyes you'd become so infatuated with. "really?" you nodded.

"ever since aldbourne."

dick grinned and leaned over to you. "can i?"

"yeah." it was one breathy word. dick's kiss was soft and gentle, filled with a caring kind of passion that you hadn't felt before. he cupped your cheek, gently stroking your hair back as you deepened the kiss. pulling away, smiling, dick placed his forehead on yours. “was it worth getting over your fear?”

“yes. a hundred times yes!” you squealed as he leaned down and captured your lips once again, feeling nothing more than pure joy in that moment.

the next morning you and dick woke up late. slipping out of his foxhole, you were greeted with the bright morning sun reflected onto the white snow, and lewis nixon looking smugger than ever. “did he tell you?”

“i told him.”

“damn.” he sipped his coffee. “what did you get up to in there?”

“nothing that would interest you nix!” dick called out, emerging from his foxhole and slapping his helmet onto his head. the captain wiggled his thick eyebrows at you and winked. you could feel yourself blush, but you opted to shake your head at him in mock disappointment. you were too happy to be embarrassed.

[chal-lelerc]

ok so like. here’s my harry potter house thing. i’m ngl i tried to do this but then i deleted it bc it was getting too long and i didn’t have the attention span but. it kept sticking in my brain so i decided to pick it back up and as such, i’ve lost the original post but it was a quarantine activity (sort drivers into houses, assign quidditch positions, explain) posted by @verstappened​. houses done first, then positions, then explanations for both. i tried to make feasible teams, i.e making sure there arent too many of a single position per house, so this really screwed some of the sorting but oh well.

i did the houses first, then positions, then explanations in that order for the most part.

5/13/20: the sorting was mostly done before i heard all the differing opinions (of which there were many!)

5/19/20: alright so this is literally like 2 months old but i’ve just finished it lolol

Lewis Hamilton:

Slytherin: THE GLORY MAN. the aloof kind of superiority, confidence, is top dog, he’s simply the pinnacle of it all. kind of lethal and doesn’t do the whole ‘looking up to others’ things (outwardly, but he seems very soft on the inside tbh). very majestic and is almost a gryffindor, the kind of slytherin that Merlin is. hard-working, got here from incredibly humble beginnings, which kind of stands out from the rest, but he’s clearly now at the top level of society. still very protective of Others. scarily ambitious. Was originally a gryffindor but I wanted the brits to be in different houses for their quidditch positions to work. Could honestly go either way though.

Seeker: more glory. periodt. he stays winning and scoring the most points. clutch-man. Speedy boy, kind of in a different world than everyone else when competing (he’s always at the front lifetimes away from everyone else lmao. playing a diff game.)

Valtteri Bottas:

Hufflepuff: HE SEEMS. LIKE. A. BIG. CHILD. always relegated and brushed off but is literally God-Tier and no one can convince me otherwise. i consider him to be rather reliable (reflecting only the 2019 season at least lmao). a bit of a vindictive streak bc he knows what he’s Capable Of even when others underestimate him. has a very bright smile.

Beater: have u seen him. he’s a big boy even though he’s 5′8 and only an inch taller than lando norris he seems bigger than he is ok

Charles Leclerc:

Slytherin: this bitch. what a snake. hiss hiss.

Chaser: he wants what lewis hamilton has but chose the wrong position. still a star in his own right. pride and joy of his house, will be at the lead of every formation play unless told otherwise by his head of house, to which he will brood and complain ab but comply in the end bc he wants Team Success and loyalty to his Family. scores the most points on the team and people act like he carries even though he literally has a partner(s).

ok but fr my gut said charles is a slytherin (do i really need to explain why? very critical, doesn’t accept inferiority, somehow succeeds. just a feeling his brain seems to fit motorsport politics well), but i was seriously contemplating whether he’d be a gryffindor to max’s slytherin instead. but then i saw someone mention the whole lion schtick and i was like for all of max’s brattiness he is Gryffindor so sharl is snake. sorry don’t make the rules just follow them.

further edit: this was written before he started streaming (this is how old this draft is) and can u believe him he’s the epitome of the “not all slytherins r evil wenches” idea

Sebastian Vettel:

Ravenclaw: idk for all of Seb’s goofiness he just seems cerebral to me. Seems to know mildly irrelevant facts and is really quite smart however is hopeless in the modern age. Kind of that wise old(er he’s not that old) man knowledge. I’d trust him to give me all the life advice I need but also to write a 10 page essay on the nuances of the effect of emotion on verbal language (which we all know he is very experienced with).

Keeper: it’s the protective Dad Power.

Max Verstappen:

Gryffindor: WAS REALLY GONNA PUT HIM IN SLYTHERIN BC HE’S A NASTY LIL SHIT. TOTAL BRAT. GIVES FUCK ALL WHAT OTHERS SAY. BUT HE IS LION AND LION IS HE SO GRYFFINDOR IT IS. also just bc he needs to oppose sharl in every way possible it’s called Poetic Cinema. also his driving style is clearly the bravery and confidence to the point of recklessness that is prevalent among gryffindors.

Chaser: again, he must oppose Charles. so, not a seeker although he’s clearly singularly the most prized competitor. just like Charles, pride and joy of house, their star chaser. the comparisons never end. the competition never ends. the fighting never ends. one of the most interesting and dynamic performers to watch, is predictable in that he’s not predictable except that he will always be aggro to the max. will always be in trouble for getting rough bc that’s Not His Job but that’s just the gryffindor disregard for rules. master point scorer.

Alex Albon:

Gryffindor: was really a toss up btwn this and Hufflepuff but the ultimate deciding factor was the fact that I wanted all the British Boys to be seekers. he really just sticks it out as max’s teammate like a real one (nothing against max, everything against Helmet Merco) for the good of the team, still is sweet with max anyway. fitting that they’re in the same house too.

Seeker: he’s not the small boy that lando and lewis are but he is (thai/)British. very special boy (big ups on the promotion even tho it was Sad Times for Pear) deserves very special job. also he has a hot girlfriend (alex albon who i only know lily he’s boy toy) idk how that’s relevant but it seems fitting.

Carlos Sainz:

Ravenclaw: bc he’s a spaniard but is still better at english than Lando (i think everyone is tbh). Seems to be a quiet type of smart, sensible, but perhaps this is just the consequence of being compared to Lanno at all times LMAO (no hate all love bby Lannd). would be the type of ravenclaw to follow his friends on absolutely idiotic ventures but would step in to prevent near death or likely-legal-problem causing actions (and only then; otherwise it’s every man for themselves and everyone is free to make a fool of themselves and break some laws. carlos may dabble in such practices.)

Chaser: seems to be a go-getter, not going for points doesn’t even cross his mind. will always be the one driving up the pitch, the strategist of sorts bc he seems big(ger) brain (than lando lololol).

Edit: I wrote this part ab him long ago but this entire section of this post is now irrelevant and canceled.

Lando Norris:

Hufflepuff: you all know why. zero explanation needed. like, none.

also has a bit of an aggressive streak which tends to catch ppl off guard. is not afraid to confront u (hello pageNO) and at times defies the hufflepuff stereotype of being perpetually happy go-lucky (he has his bad days!). but when with His True Crew he is absolutely a hufflepuff ball of energy.

Seeker: small and speedy. energetic to the max. small. quirky and different from the rest, so he gets the special job. small. everyone would kill to protect him. small.

Daniel Ricciardo:

Gryffindor: AW I DIDN’T EVEN REALIZE THAT I PUT HIM AND MAX TOGETHER. LOOK I EVEN MADE THEM BOTH CHASERS. AH HOW BIGBRAIN MY MIND IS. everything ab dan is gold. golden skin, the colors in redbull and renault, his smile, just the vibes. he’s just got the enthusiasm and charisma and this intensity of a gryffindor. super aggressive, his late breaking (from his rbr at least) is legendary and maddening with how he pulls it off. is almost a hufflepuff but the gut said no.

Chaser: is Max’s teammate. so yeah. was obviously the star until younger max came to the show. a bit lost in limbo bc of it but they still work well together.

literally want to make him a hufflepuff so. bad. but i couldn’t split up maxiel. also his vibe is just different from other ‘puffs like stroll so.

Esteban Ocon:

Slytherin: ask max.

Chaser: being characterized off of their relationship with max seems to be a theme here. will go head to head with max w/ absolutely zero shits given. talented, but the rivalry with max is entirely secondary to charles imho. still yet to show his full potential but is still quietly a thorn in max’s side. many are interested to see what he is able to do in the immediate future.

Pierre Gasly:

Hufflepuff: GUYS HE WANTS TO OWN A PANDA

Chaser: constantly trying to prove himself and score big boy points. had a stint as seeker until lando came along. did not do as well as ppl had hoped, returned to chaser and proceeded to crush it from there. praticed a lot with charles as children (the friendship dynamic w/ their houses was definitely unforseen but is amazing).

Daniil Kvyat:

Hufflepuff: really wanted to make him a slytherin but the quidditch positions didn’t work out. firmly believe this works though. more of the rough and tumble type, definitely the kind that will sock u in the nose if u write off hufflepuffs as a joke. could honestly probably be a gryffindor too with how unapologetically aggressive he can be in the name of His Beliefs. gives me big dumb himbo vibes now that i think ab it tbh which is mostly the justification here. also he has a child omg.

Chaser: but the one that’s always headbutting bludgers out of the air (torpedo bitches). also had a stint as seeker before but it Was Not His Thing. he’d much rather be chasing and throwing things than seeking things. also he’s pierre’s mate :,) would’ve been a beater but romain and valtteri will not be anything else so daniil took the boot whoops.

Sergio Perez:

Slytherin: it’s just the vibe. knows his weaknesses and is able to make up for it with his confidence and talent in his strengths. very ambitious, plays the right cards at the right times to get the right results. something ab him puts me on edge, but like in a good way; i feel like there’s always a trump card up his sleeve, like when he gets to q3 out of fucking nowhere in a racing point.

Keeper: he gives me the same vibes as seb idk what it is. very dependable, backbone of his team.

Lance Stroll:

Hufflepuff: guys have u seen the guy. he’s just here to have a good time. may seem a bit airheaded at times but he means well 99% of the time. untapped potential. seems like a no thoughts head empty canadian hockey boy (and every one of these types is a hufflepuff don’t fight it); may or may not be the only accurate description of him.

Chaser: he’s just trying his best out here. i

KEEPER?: SO I DID A QUICK GOOGLE AND HE USED TO BE A HOCKEY

GOALIE?????

so scratch my initial thoughts (tbh i didn’t really know where to put him and i originally had romain as keeper but that’s an issue to fix later on now) BECAUSE LANCE STROLL IS A keeper GOALIE AND NO ONE CAN REFUTE THIS. ABSOLUTELY NO HUMAN OF THIS EARTH. WHAT GLORIOUS INFORMATION TO STUMBLE ACROSS.

Kimi Raikkonen:

Slytherin: guys i really don’t have an in depth analysis of this but i don’t think iceman needs one.

Beater: see above^. y’all must get the vibe.

tbh could also be a keeper tho similar energies to seb and checo, but honestly his no fucks given attitude is ultimately what swayed me

Antonio Giovinazzi:

Gryffindor: he just has that majestic quality (that could also fit a slytherin but i only see red when i see antonio). look at that lion’s mane. also he’s one of kimi’s to paddock friends? seems fitting that he’s a gryffindor to kimi’s slytherin.

Chaser: plays second fiddle to the duo that is max and daniel, often regulated to vibing on the side. but he’s there and he’s important and he has potential (i’ve been seeing ppl talking ab a ferrari move and i’m positively shaken). [edit: again, this post is old.]

im sorry its glaringly obvious idk much about him asdfjasldkd

Kevin Magnussen:

Slytherin: guys lots of these are just self explanatory sorry if i seem like im taking the cheap way out but it’s fact. brundle and crofty call him a great white shark for crying out loud.

Beater: unapologetically chaotic. lurking around the edges making people feel hunted. spends more time playing baseball in the middle of the matches than quidditch and sometimes it backfires but it’s good fun and it sometimes works.

Romain Grosjean:

Hufflepuff: y’all he’s such dad energy and he likes to cook. gets written off a lot but he actually cares (he’s a part of the grand prix drivers assoc.!). he seems so wholesome and he spends time with his kids and their school work when he can do u feel those water drops yeah those r my tears.

Beater: i really wanted to make him a slytherin beater to make him teammates with k-mag but he’s just. not a slytherin. but i kept the beater part. spends the majority of the hufflepuff v. slytherin matches sending bludgers kevin’s way even when he doesn’t mean to. it’s always reciprocated.

George Russell:

Ravenclaw: I’VE SAID IT BEFORE AND I’LL SAY IT AGAIN THIS KID. is so marvelously well spoken and he just has such a simple yet effective way with words. he knows what’s reasonable to expect but never fails to expect the most that he can given his circumstances. again, mentioned this before but a lot of it is his accent. the glottal stop is a historically stereotypically rural (i.e. “uneducated”) thing but I’m American and I Don’t Listen to the Rules, so the accent just makes him seem so sophisticated to me especially when he’s saying things like “horriiiiiiiific” and presenting his hefty powerpoints.

Seeker: my British Boys Are Seekers headcanon continues. definitely a Golden Boy of the team kind of guy (hello tragic dumpsterfire that is williams :/ ).

Nicholas Latifi:

Hufflepuff: same boat as lance. his twitch streams are so wholesome he’s just chilling man. twitter made me write him off as daft and unnecessary at first but like fuck twitter i’m all here for ninky latvia now.

Chaser: lowkey gives me keeper vibes as well? the sensible, level-headedness. but obvs that’s lance so chaser it is. still the level-headedness that helps him hold down the fort btwn pierre and daniil who can tend to get a bit imaginative, and also the energies of them + lando.

5/19/20: so it’s quite clear to me that i grew tired of brain functions the more time i took on this and the later ones are a bit lacking and for that i’m very sorry. that being said i’m still happy to see this finished bc the idea was VERY exciting for me.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #355

“despite all my rage, i am still just a rat in a cage”

Have you ever shared a shower or bath with someone as an adult? No, only as a kid. What kind of pizza toppings do you like? Meats or jalapenos. When did you first take a shot of alcohol? Never, and I'm not interested. Did you babysit for money when you were in middle school? No. Who is your favorite band? How long have they been? Ozzy Osbourne, since middle school. Has the last person you kissed ever been to your house? My old house, yes. Not the one I currently live in. Have you ever been to a spa? Only because my friend at the time took me. When talking on the phone, do you place it against your left or right ear? My right. What’s your favourite Lunchables meal? The nachos one. Do you like Bob Marley? NO. Omg his voice is awful. Have you ever eaten at Golden Corral? Yeah. I'm not a big fan. Do you sit and eat dinner at the same table with your family? We only ever do that if my sister is over (she comes for dinner once a week). Are you listening to any music right now? If so, what are you listening to? Yeah, Violet Orlandi's cover of "Bullet With Butterfly Wings" by The Smashing Pumpkins. God she's so beautiful and talented and asdfjkaljddkfjlwkee FUCK I'm gay for her. Who was the last person to make you genuinely smile? Watching Mark. :') Is there something you want to say to someone but can’t/won’t? Yeah. Do you like men who have a sensitive side? Yes. Please be in touch with your emotions, for the love of God. Have you ever tried to get someone into a certain band/artist? Not persistently, no, but Mini is a case where me mentioning them enough got her to listen to them. Metallica, by the way. They're her favorite band because of mwah, haha. Have you ever carved you and someone else’s initials into a tree? It's possible, but I don't believe so. Do you like Dairy Queen? Love it. They're Oreo Cupfection thing is BOMB. Is there anyone you know with an amazing personal success story? Yes. I have a friend Shannen who first was a widely-recognized photographer in the state, and now she's a fashion designer (or something like that) up in New York. Is there a song in a different language that you can sing? A number of Rammstein songs. How do you feel about bands that use pyrotechnics in live concerts? So long they're well-made for safety reasons, I don't care much. They do seem a bit unnecessary, though; like just look at James Hetfield's accident that burned half his body because of standing in the wrong place. It seems easy to fuck up and get in a dangerous range. Ever fallen down a hole? No. Do you like bananas? Yeah. How long do you normally spend in the shower? Not even 10 minutes, usually. I've never understood how people can take such long showers. Have you ever been a featured member on any website? Yeah, on a Silent Hill fansite. Have you ever had any weird pets? Not by my standards. A ball python morph is as "weird" as it gets. Are you currently talking to/texting/instant messaging anyone? Nope. Have you ever experienced insomnia? Ugh, yes. I went through a horrible insomnia spell, and I still have an awful time trying to fall asleep. Do you like egg nog? Nooo. Would you ever wear Converse with a prom/formal dress? I'm not opposed to it, but realistically I'd probably wear something more traditionally suiting just because. Do you prefer hot chocolate with or without marshmallows? Without. How many different people of the opposite sex have you cried over? I've cried all the oceans over just one lol. Would you rather be a surgeon or mortician? Being a mortician actually doesn't sound awful, weird as it sounds. It sounds almost relaxing if I could just be alone with some music doing my job. Would rather be a musician or a painter? A painter. Would you rather write your own book or make your own movie? I'd love to write a book. At home, do you have a trampoline? No. When you are about to go to bed, do you put on some sort of noise? No. What is your favorite Christmas movie? Jim Carrey's How The Grinch Stole Christmas. And what about your favorite Christmas song? Probably "The Most Wonderful Time of the Year" or whatever it's called. "Carol of the Bells" too, of course. What is your ultimate favorite stocking stuffer? Haha, okay so it seems to be an unspoken rule that Mom always gets us Slim Jims for our stockings, and that's obviously the best considering my sisters and I loooove them yet still don't buy them much. You're making me ready for Christmas, lol. After Halloween, do you sort out all of your candy into little piles? I did as a kid, and then my sisters and I would trade what we preferred. When you listen to music with headphones, do you keep the volume low enough to hear surrounding noise faintly, or do you blast it? It's honestly pretty loud. What did you have for breakfast this morning? Cold pizza from dinner leftovers last night. What’s the largest animal you’ve ever had as a pet? Our late boxer mix, Cali. She was a big 'ole pup. Do you own any kind of helmet? No. Out of everything currently in your refrigerator, what food or drink is your favorite? Food: strawberries. Drink: Mountain Lightning. What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had? Either when I skinned my knees so deep that pus was visible, or when I fainted onto my chin and got a short, but very deep cut. Do you like the taste of cough syrup? No. What is something you like to have conversations about? I like talking about deep stuff, like where we came from, our unique feelings and beliefs, conspiracy theories and cryptids, mysterious stuff like that, too. And don't forget animals. And Mark, haha. What all is in the trunk of your car? I don't have a car, and I don't remember what's in Mom's trunk, even though I helped bring in groceries just the other day. Do you ever put fruit on your cereal? Ew, no. Is your heat or air conditioning currently on? Our AC is currently on because it's too damn hot. The weather here has been so up and down, it's wild. Have you ever fallen off of a horse? No. Which do you value more, your appearance or your intelligence? Honestly? I'd be dumber than I already am if it meant being happy with how I look, because my appearance now is a key factor to my depression. When was the last time you drove something other than a car or truck? Oh jeez... I have no idea. I don't think since I've driven a golf cart at someone's b-day party as a kid. Were your grandparents present when you were born? No. If you drink/smoke, how often do you do these things? I don't smoke, and I only have a drink or two very rarely, usually just on special occasions. What do you think of fast food? I like it way more than I wish I did. What website do you spend the most time on and why? YouTube, because I'm always listening to and/or watching something. What’s the most amount of time you’ve spent online? Is this usual for you? In one non-stop setting, I don't want to know. I pretty much only exist on the computer. When it comes to travel, what kinds of places intrigue you most? Mountainous, loads of nature, cooler/cold, mysterious locations... stuff like that. Do you think humans colonizing Mars is a good idea? Would you go, if you could? If we learn from our goddamn mistakes and not fuck up its environment, it could be healthy or even life-saving for humanity, but I'd prefer to stay on Earth as long as possible. What is the farthest you’ve walked in one day and what made you do it? I dunno, maybe at Disney World or something like that as a kid. What is something important that’s often on your mind lately? Physical health stuff. I'm worried about a lot of things relating to that. What about something unimportant, but you can’t stop thinking about it? I don't know about "unimportant," at least to me. Do you like oatmeal? If so, what kinds of things do you like in it? Yeah. I only really eat the cinnamon apple ones; I always use milk and sprinkle some sugar in there, and it's delicious. What was going on the last time you felt nostalgic? When Mom and I stopped at Jason's house to bring the family some treats following his mother's death. I stayed in the car and couldn't even look towards the house, but yeah. So many memories just stampeded me. How much attention do you pay to the movements of the stars and planets, and do you believe they influence anything? I pay zero attention to it; I don't believe they have influence over people in any way. What is the most difficult or involved video game you’ve ever played? I guess you could say World of Warcraft. It's definitely the most involved, like I've been playing it almost consistently since 2014, and I used to be in a Heroic raid team, which certainly wasn't easy. Then there's some achievements I busted my ass to get. Which accent do you find most sexy, alluring or appealing? British is where it's at. Which accent do you find most annoying, disturbing, or bothersome? Extremely Southern ones. Can you cry on cue? Is it any kind of useful? No. Does it take you a while to actually get jokes? Embarrassingly, it frequently does. Can you wear socks to bed or does it annoy you? Ugh, I could never. I hate the feeling of socks. Have you ever bleached your hair? By myself, no, but a professional has to dye it. Do you like jelly beans? They're okay. It really depends on the flavor, and even then I can't eat a lot of them. Do you have trouble sleeping when it’s storming? Yes, but not because it scares me, but rather that I'm just jumpy. Subtle thunder isn't so bad, and I LOVE the drone of heavy rain, but once you add booming thunder and strong flashes of lightning, it's too disruptive for me to fall asleep easily. Who was the last person you know that graduated? (high school or college) My not-so-little sister is just about to finish her Master's lakdsjfakwe I'm so proud of her. Were you happy or sad when you found out your babysitter was coming? I think I was always kinda bummed out, even though I liked my babysitters. I had horrible separation anxiety from my mom. Did you have a boyfriend in kindergarten? No, but I did have this one guy who'd been like obsessed with me since pre-k and would always chase me to hug and kiss me. In pre-k it was awful, but he still did it sometimes in kindergarten, despite the teachers getting on him about it. It's actually a memory I forgot for a very long time, like I think my brain tried to oppress it, and I wonder if it has anything to do with my fear of people standing behind me, men specifically, and being raped. Did you ever read the Magic Treehouse series? Oh yes, I was obsessed! Who was your best friend in elementary school? It jumped between Brianna, Kim, and Quiata. Did you ever watch The Land Before Time movies? YESSSSS. I even had the computer game. Did you collect anything when you were a kid? Stickers. I'd put them on my dresser everywhere to the point it was absolutely covered. Did you get an allowance? No. Not because my parents didn't want to or anything, but rather they couldn't afford allowances to three kids. Were you into American Girl dolls? Nah. I got one, but I think it was mostly so my sisters and I each had our own. Nicole, however, was sooooo into them. Were you friends with your childhood neighbors? Some, yeah, especially the boy down my street named D'Andre. We would hang out ALL the time, be it at each other's houses or just riding our bikes. He actually got married very recently and I'm so happy for him, ahhhhh!! What was your biggest fear when you were a kid? Thunderstorms. Did you ever play the "Reader Rabbit" computer games? Oh my god, YES. The one where you were hosting a surprise birthday party was my absolute favorite. Did your parents let you drink soda growing up? Yes. .-. What was your favorite kind of cake as a kid? Chocolate, of course.

[aion-rsa]

Marvel’s Loki Episode 5: MCU Easter Eggs and References

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This article contains Loki episode 5 spoilers.

Marvel’s Loki episode 5 is a big one. Yes, we know…last week felt like that. And the one before it, too. But this one really IS, with the entire episode taking place (as DoG’s Kayti Burt put it) on top of a literal “trash pile of MCU and Marvel Comics Easter eggs.”

With that in mind, let’s have some fun with all the incredible Marvel references they managed to sneak into Loki episode 5.

Journey Into Mystery

You probably already know this, but Journey Into Mystery was the book that first introduced the Marvel Comics version of Thor, with Loki following shortly after. The title eventually was just renamed Thor since the Asgardians had become the primary focus of the book for years by that point. However, Journey Into Mystery was revived a few years back, with its primary focus being on the adventures of Kid Loki this time around.

Thanos Copter

The Lokis pass a helicopter with “THANOS” on the side. This is a reference to Spidey Super Stories #39 from 1979. The all-ages comic featured a story of Spider-Man and the Cat (Hellcat) taking on Thanos, who was on the hunt for the Cosmic Cube. He flew around New York City in his own helicopter with his name on the side. The reference comes up as a joke here and there, including an issue of Deadpool. Even Thanos’ giant two-sided blade weapon from Avengers: Endgame has been considered by many to be a sly reference to the Thanos Copter.

Ecto-Cooler

While the Lokis are all drinking wine, Kid Loki is shown drinking Hi-C Ecto Cooler. The Slimer-based citrus drink was a tie-in to The Real Ghostbusters cartoon of the 1980s and lasted into 2001 due to its popularity. Afterwards, it became a fondly-remembered relic to time. Ecto Cooler made a brief return in 2016 to coincide with the Ghostbusters reboot. Sadly, there’s no news of it coming back for the upcoming Ghostbusters: Afterlife movie.

Speaking of Kid Loki…

Kid Loki

Kid Loki seems to be wielding a flaming sword, which looks an awful lot like Laevateinn, the sword he wielded in the Loki: Agent of Asgard comics.

Polybius

In the background of the Lokis’ lair, we see a Polybius arcade machine. Polybius is a long-running urban legend. Supposedly, back in 1981, an arcade machine was set up in Portland, Oregon, watched over by various men in black. The game was so addicting that it caused fights to break out and horrible side-effects to its players. We wrote more about the decades-old mystery of Polybius right here.

Pretty sure there’s an old Williams Space Pinball machine in there, too but that’s not as wild as Polybius.

The Void

Fittingly, the realm where all the pruned victims end up is called the Void. In the comics, the Void is a dark, inexplicable, and possibly biblical entity that acts as the evil side to the Sentry. During the storyline Siege, the Void murdered Loki, which facilitated his rebirth as Kid Loki.

Alioth

Alioth first appeared in Avengers: The Terminatrix Objective #1, the same 1993 comic that also introduced Ravonna Renslayer to the world…and one that features Kang as its central villain. Hmmmm…

Oh, and Alioth was co-created by Mobius M. Mobius inspiration/model Mark Gruenwald, who gets another shout later in the episode.

Vote Loki

The “politician Loki” who we see leading (inasumuch as they can/want to be led) the loose coalition of Variant Lokis is modeled almost exactly on the version of Loki from Marvel’s Vote Loki story by Christopher Hastings, Langdon Foss, and Paul McCaffery. In it, Loki ends up running for President, with his ridiculous campaign built on the “honest” deception of openly lying to the American people inadvertently aided by a credulous news media. It’s a good read and you should check it out.

This episode also engages in the old MCU/Star Wars tradition of someone getting a hand cut off…in this case it’s our pal, “Vote Loki.”

Frog Thor

A frog resembling Thor is shown in a jar labeled “T365.” Wouldn’t you know it, Thor #365 is the issue where Loki transforms Thor into a frog. Yes, it was a whole thing. Walt Simonson’s run on the Thor comics is really spectacular.

“Frog Thor” also got a mention in Thor: Ragnarok, during the “play within the movie” seen as “Loki” apologized to “Thor” for turning him into a frog.

You know, there’s even an independent wrestler with a Thor Frog gimmick. Life is beautiful sometimes.

Classic Loki

So it appears that Classic Loki is basically what would have happened if “our” Loki survived the opening of Avengers: Infinity War, which he did by allowing Thanos to kill a duplicate while he disguised himself as some debris. Classic Loki went into hiding and developed a taste for brighter greens and yellows, and aged into Richard E. Grant, before he was pruned by the TVA and found himself here in the Void.

Classic Loki’s line about “the god of outcasts” comes from 2019’s Loki #5, by Daniel Kibblesmith and Andy McDonald:

“I am Loki. God of outcasts. They see themselves in me. And I in them. All of us, alone together. It’s why my stories always end with someone trying to put me in a box. And begin with my spectacular escape.”

Later in the episode, Classic Loki and Kid Loki literally “exit stage right,” in what feels like a very deliberately “stagey” moment that plays on the Shakespearean overtones of all of this.

The Living Tribunal

On the ground in the Void there’s a large severed head…and it’s that of The Living Tribunal, a cosmic entity created by Stan Lee and Marie Severin back in 1967. The presence of a Living Tribunal (even one who is dead at this present time), whose entire purpose for being is predicated on the existence of a multiverse, means that the TVA is trying very hard to cut all ties and any evidence of the fact that the multiverse is already out there.

U.S.S. Eldridge

The USS Eldridge was a real Cannon-class destroyer in the U.S. Navy in use from 1943 to 1992. It was supposedly sold for scrap after it was decommissioned but Loki posits that perhaps it was an unwanted Variant in the Sacred Timeline. Perhaps this is because the ship was rumored to be subjected to the “Philadelphia Experiment” that was supposed to render it invisible to the human eye. The story is sadly probably a hoax.

There’s a not exactly great 1984 movie called The Philadelphia Experiment which adds time travel to the equation, making this little callback even more Loki appropriate.

Is That Stan Lee?

At about 9:38 there’s a mural in the TVA headquarters. On the right there’s a guy in prescription shades, with a familiar moustache and salt-and-pepper hair. We’re not saying that’s Stan Lee, but…

The Castle

Yes, we know, that ominous castle sure looks like Doctor Doom’s  home of Doomstadt, but…it’s probably not (or is it?). More likely, this is Castle Limbo, home of Kang the Conqueror (or…is it?).

We unpacked these possibilities some more here.

The Music

The “heroic Loki” theme at the end sounds like it’s about to break into Wagner’s “Ride of the Valkyries.”

Speaking of, the regular Loki theme is very similar to the part of the Delfonics “Ready or Not Here I Come (Can’t Hide From Love)” that was sampled for Missy Elliott’s “Sock It To Me.” The original (also sampled for the Fugees’ “Ready or Not” and Dr. Dre’s “Still D.R.E.”) was about the inevitability of love, and Missy’s song was about sneaking into somebody’s house to get your back blown out, so basically the same thing. Could have some bearing on Loki and Sylvie’s story.

The music that plays during the “Loki brawl” is this show’s equivalent of Scooby-Doo chase music. That’s a good thing, by the way.

Pixar, is that you?

Was that the Pizza Planet truck? Mobius’s ride, a station wagon with a slice of pizza on top, immediately brought to mind the popular Pixar easter egg/elaborate timeline mcguffin that has appeared in every Pixar movie to date. Also, very nice touch having Lightning McQueen himself drive it.

An even nicer touch is the license plate on the car Mobius is driving: GRN W1D. As in “Gruenwald.” As in (say it with us, kids!) Mark Gruenwald, the Marvel writer and editor who Mobius is based on.

Ant-Man

At one point on the ground in the Void we can spot a gigantic Yellowjacket helmet. Yellowjacket is the codename for several size-shifting superheroes in the Marvel Comics, but is best known to MCU fans as Corey Stoll’s Darren Cross from the first Ant-Man flick. 

Guardians of the Galaxy

There’s lots of crashed spacecraft, one of which kind of looks like the Dark Aster (Ronan the Accuser’s ship in Guardians of the Galaxy), and there may be a Helicarrier hanging around. There’s also a flying saucer that vaguely resembles the ship from John Carpenter’s The Thing, and a pirate ship that if Doctor Doom were actually the villain of this show (he isn’t…or…is he?) would make us think of that character’s very first appearance in Fantastic Four comics, where he sent Ben Grimm back in time to become Blackbeard. No, really.

Miscellaneous Time Variants

The fate of the Lokis is reminiscent of What If? #12, otherwise known as What If the X-Men Had Stayed in Asgard? At the end of the story, after tasting defeat yet again, Loki begged Those Who Sit Above in Shadow to allow him to rule Asgard. They agreed by sending him far into the future at the end of time. As reality started to break down, Loki went out laughing in the face of oblivion.

The bus ad at the beginning is for Calum Ross, who is an editor on the show. 

The shot of all the Lokis walking as the camera swoops overhead is very much reminiscent of Peter Jackson’s Lord of the Rings movies.

Loki and Sylvie are cold in The Void. But wait a minute, aren’t they both Frost Giants? Why then would Loki conjure a green blanket? Unless he wants a convenient excuse to cuddle up with his Variant…

Loki is drinking “RoxxiWine” pinot noir…out of a box…which is a nice touch.

Is that weird, very large plant in the bowling alley hideout supposed to be a Variant Yggdrasil? Or wait…what if that’s Plant Loki?!? He’s green, isn’t he?

Next to Alligator Loki’s kiddie pool there’s a copy of The Mystery and Lore of Monsters, a 1930 book by Charles J.S. Thompson.

The tower we all keep thinking is Avengers Tower is in fact Qeng Tower, the headquarters of Qeng Enterprises, the company that Tony Stark (mistakenly) sold the old Avengers tower to in the comics.

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Spot anything we missed? (Probably, right?) Let us know in the comments!

The post Marvel’s Loki Episode 5: MCU Easter Eggs and References appeared first on Den of Geek.

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[haec-est-fides]

Filodox’s Trials of Apollo Reactions [Part I]

Welcome to part one of a reflective journey through Trials of Apollo ft. my original ebook annotations! I’ll be your host, 2020!filodox.

For this first episode, we’ll be going back to May 2016, the beginning of it all: The Hidden Oracle.

Annotations for this round are brought to you by 2016!filodox.

Is there anything we should know before we begin, 2016!me?

2016!filodox: I swore on the Styx never to read another Riordan book after he killed Octavian. And yet here we are.

... Alright then! Let’s get started.

But first, a more detailed overview on how this series will work: I will excerpt bits and pieces of the books based on what I highlighted / annotated on my first read. Beneath each quote, I will share what I wrote in the annotation. Below that, I will (occasionally) laugh at my past self, clarify the note, or say how my view has changed.

I encourage questions, comments, and concerns (of which there may be many), so go ahead and use that replies feature if you feel so inclined! However, these are just my opinions and (occasionally) emotional reactions, so no hate pls. <3 (Or, if you do send hate, pls make it funny.)

Now, diving right in with Riordan’s dedication!

To The Muse Calliope. This is long overdue. Please don’t hurt me.

2016!filodox: Hurt him. He didn’t even name the chapters.

As you can see, I had yet to experience Lester’s haiku and was already mad based on the table of contents alone. I went into this series very salty...

I inflicted a plague on the Greeks who besieged Troy.

2016!filodox: At least he did something right. Once.

I was just,,,extremely ready to die on Octavian’s hill. (Though I was a huge Troy / Aeneas stan before all this, just to be clear.)

Is anything sadder than the sound of a god hitting a pile of garbage bags?

2016!filodox: I actually find this particular god crashing into a dumpster quite amusing.

I also blamed Apollo for what happened to Octavian. I think that had a lot to do with how Apollo acted on Delos in Heroes of Olympus, basically disowning Octavian and whining about how some “creature” scammed him? That was bullshit. Apollo needed to own the fact that he blessed Octavian, but he just abandoned him and denied all the blame. TL;DR I had a grudge, okay?

My mind stewed in confusion, but one memory floated to the surface -- the voice of my father, Zeus: YOUR FAULT. YOUR PUNISHMENT.

2016!filodox: Wait, is this bc everyone blames Octavian and therefore Apollo? Bc lol but also no?

*cough* Octavian did nothing wrong 2k16 *cough*

Zeus will reconsider, I told myself. He’s just trying to scare me. Any moment, he will yank me back to Olympus and let me off with a warning.

“Yes...” My voice sounded hollow and desperate. “Yes, that’s it.”

2016!filodox: Apollo is a self centered frat boy, I forgot...but it is slightly...endearing? *narrows eyes*

Ah, how close I was to stanning Lester in the first chapter, when he was at his most “goddy”. You know, I actually made a rule for myself when I started reading Trials of Apollo that I would not under any circumstances stan Apollo. That was a naive goal, because it was never really a danger.

Regardless, Zeus had held me responsible for Octavian’s delusions of grandeur. Zeus seemed to consider egotism a trait the boy had inherited from me. Which is ridiculous. I am much too self-aware to be egotistical.

2016!filodox: I am going to Murder him.

*chef kiss* the hypocrisy ! the lack of self-awareness !

“I just...I assumed -- I hoped this would be taken care of by now.”

“You mean by demigods,” Percy said, “going on a big quest to reclaim the Oracle of Delphi?”

2016!filodox: That sounds like a decent quest, or you know, QUESTING FOR THE SIBYLLINE BOOKS

I’ve always said I can see the future but an inch to the left. Also, I don’t like Ella.

It warmed my heart that my children had the right priorities: their skills, their images, their views on YouTube. Say what you will about gods being absentee parents; our children inherit many of our finest personality traits.

2016!filodox: AND HE’S MAD ABOUT OCTAVIAN?!

I mean ?

Apollo, when Austin and Kayla show ambition: THEY GOT THAT FROM ME <3

Apollo, when Octavian (or Nero, or Caligula) shows ambition: srry i don’t know him ??

He had a weak jawline, an overlarge nose, and a beard that wrapped around his double chin like a helmet strap. His hair was curly and dark like mine, except not as fashionably tousled or luxuriant. His lips curled as if he smelled something unpleasant. Perhaps it was the burning seats of the bus.

2016!filodox: Nero ???

Not quite sure how to feel looking back at this moment. Call out post @ myself for instantly recognizing Nero, when afaik this scene was before we had any hints that Roman emperors were even a plot point? But here’s the thing: I don’t remember why I could recognize him so easily. I don’t remember where 2016!me obtained this ancient Rome knowledge. A mystery.

On another note entirely, did Nero really like,,,astral project into Apollo’s fever dream to address him directly? Because Rhea does. And sometimes Python does. But Nero? Can he do that?

The man laughed as flames licked at his purple sleeves. “You’re not sorry yet, but you will be. Find me the gates. Lead me to the Oracle. I’ll enjoy burning it down!”

2016!filodox: I too enjoy burning things down. # Nero confirmed

My only comment here is “oh you sweet summer child,,,”

Oh. Perhaps some of you are wondering how I felt seeing [Will] with a boyfriend rather than a girlfriend.

2016!filodox: No, actually. I wasn’t wondering. I was plotting how to kill you, them, and quite a few other people. Do you think I could trade you for Octavian?

Oh man, back at it again with the salt. XD

I could only remember my conversations with Octavian, the way he’d turned my head with his flattery and promises. That stupid boy...it was his fault I was here.

A voice whispered in the back of my mind. This time I thought it might be my conscience: Who was the stupid boy? It wasn’t Octavian.

2016!filodox: I can’t really...explain my emotions upon reading this. I’m still not quite okay, but this...it’s bittersweet in a way. I don’t know if this is a poor attempt at a proper closure, the author’s way of beating a dead horse, or just a way to make Apollo seem pitiable. Whatever it is... Octavian was important enough to remain in Apollo’s mortal memory. He somehow made promises to a god and had Apollo wrapped around his finger. And despite being so much like Apollo, the god blames him. Like everyone blames him. But Apollo also realizes, accepts on an infinitesimal scale, that “it wasn’t Octavian”. He wasn’t perfect, but neither is Apollo. Apollo is (at least) subconsciously admitting his own guilt in the whole affair.

...yeah. I will note that this bit isn’t meant to develop Octavian, but rather uses Octavian as a prop to support Apollo’s development? Which is why it still stings. Like thanks, I guess.

“Your judgement in the past has been...questionable. I wonder if you have chosen the right tools for this job. Have you learned from your past mistakes?”

2016!filodox: Nero has made plenty of mistakes to learn from

Love how I just assumed it was Nero back in chapter 10 and went with it, zero hesitation. Also love how I heard Python say Nero has made mistakes and went “oh absolutely”. In fact, here’s something funny in retrospect that will become more and more apparent: I did not like Nero in 2016. Or, at least, I thought I didn’t. There’s something really odd going on here that baffles me, looking back...

“A triumvirate is a ruling council of three,” I said. “At least, that’s what it meant in ancient Rome.”

“Which is interesting,” Rachel said, “because of this next shot.” She tapped her screen. The new photo zoomed in on the building’s penthouse terrace, where three shadowy figures stood talking together....

2016!filodox: Is it bad that I’m smirking? Because it’s getting interesting ~ *clear malicious intent*

Wow, edgy. Triumvirates are just a neat, Roman thing and I stanned.

“The last triumvirate I dealt with included Lepidus, Marc Antony, and my son, the original Octavian. A triumvirate is a very Roman concept...like patriotism, skullduggery, and assassination.”

2016!filodox: THIS IS WHAT I’VE BEEN TRYING TO TELL EVERYONE. MODERN OCTAVIAN IS A VERY GOOD ANCIENT ROMAN. POLITICS, ESPECIALLY SHADY AF POLITICS AND POWERPLAYS, ARE QUINTESSENTIALLY ROMAN. Also, I’d like to note that it’s confirmed, in this universe’s canon, that Augustus was a son of Apollo.

Ohhhh, wait. I think I’d watched the HBO series Rome by 2016, which would at least partially explain my ancient Rome knowledge. (Amazing tv show btw!)

“He heard them talking in Latin.”

“Latin? Were they campers?”

Pete spread his hands. “I--I don’t think so. Paulie described them like they were adults. He said one of them was the leader. The other two addressed him as imperator.”

2016!filodox: !!!! (obligatory 💕)

I was such a simp for Latin in high school. And the Roman Empire. Still am, but hey.

“The Beast is planning some kind of attack on your camp. I don’t know what it is, but it’s going to be big.”

2016!filodox: Runs in the family I guess

The Octavian / Triumvirate parallels are everywhere... 👀

“The emperors made themselves gods. They had their own temples and altars. They encouraged the people to worship them.”

2016!filodox: # deify me

*smacking my past self with a stick* You stop that! Edgy child!

Anyway, a much better point here is like,,,the Imperial cult was huge in the ancient Roman world. Looking at Apollo’s explanation here, why did only the “worst” three emperors get to be immortal? Did famously “good” emperors like Augustus and Marcus Aurelius have the option of becoming minor gods, but they chose Elysium or something? Are there slightly less infamous emperors just hanging around anywhere as minor gods? A lot of Roman emperors live on in human memory is all I’m saying.

“Wait!” Will said as I reached the door. “Who is the Beast? Which emperor are we dealing with?”

“The worst of my descendants.” My fingers dug into the doorframe. “The Christians called him the Beast because he burned them alive. Our enemy is Emperor Nero.”

2016!filodox: I honestly can’t believe it took this long to reveal this? Was anyone surprised?

Nero’s reveal is rather late in the book compared to Commodus, Caligula, and even Tarquin iirc? But it makes sense, being the first book of the series. Also love how 16-year-old me was like “this reveal is silly because everyone, like me, recognizes Nero on sight” and didn’t question that assumption at all.

“Germani.” Instinctively, I moved in front of Meg. The elite imperial bodyguards had been cold-blooded death reapers in ancient Rome. I doubted they’d gotten any sweeter over the centuries.

2016!filodox: BITCH. See? This is why I love Rome. They knew what they were doing.

Ngl, as someone of Germanic heritage, I felt really represented by the Germani, which is hilarious on so many levels.

He tried to compensate for his ugliness with an expensive Italian suit of purple wool, his gray shirt open to display gold chains. His shoes were hand-tooled leather, not the sort of thing to wear while stomping around in an ant pile. Then again, Nero had always had expensive, impractical tastes.

2016!filodox: I don’t exactly like Nero, and actually think he was quite the shitty emperor, but I guess I mildly respect and “like” him on principle (in this book at least).

OH YOU SWEET SUMMER CHILD. I was so convinced that I didn’t actually like Nero, despite all of the lowkey evidence to the contrary? Who hurt you, past me? (Lmao, it was Tacitus, Suetonius, and Cassius Dio.) My working theory is that I was too much of an Emperor Augustus stan at the time to admit liking Nero. It’s hysterical. Look at me equivocating like a champ.

I’d been so proud of my son, the original Octavian, later Caesar Augustus. After his death, his descendants became increasingly arrogant and unstable (which I blamed on their mortal DNA; they certainly didn’t get those qualities from me).

2016!filodox: I’m glad Apollo and I can agree on something. Augustus was amazing and those who came after him...significantly less so.

See! The propaganda really got to me, what can I say?

Nero clasped his hands as if in prayer. “Oh, my. It seems we’ve had a slight miscommunication. You see, Apollo, Meg brought you here, just as I asked her to. Well done, my sweet.”

2016!filodox: This was obvious but I still find it...gods, the only word I can think of is “delicious”

. . .

“The Beast killed my father. This is Nero. He’s -- he’s my stepfather.”

I could not fully grasp this before Nero spread his arms.

“That’s right, my darling,” he said. “And you’ve done a wonderful job. Come to Papa.”

2016!filodox: Okay, but we should have known this since it became apparent her weapons were Roman. Also, oof. Also also, WHY did Riordan feel the need to add that last line? Why?

ASDFGHJKL: I CAN’T

“After the fire, we’ll rebuild,” he said. “It will be glorious!”

2016!filodox: The amount of times I have used this very logic is worrying.

For (some) context, Firelord Ozai is my favorite character from AtLA. <3

The scene might have been funny except that the Germani were now back on their feet, five demigods and a geyser spirit were still tied to highly flammable posts, and Nero still had a box of matches.

2016!filodox: Oh, I find this plenty amusing!

The emperor stared at his empty hand. “Meg...?” His voice was as cold as an icicle.

2016!filodox: The various ways his tone / voice have been described throughout this conversation are just 💕

*looks at camera like I’m on The Office*

Seriously, though. Nero’s voice is like the central descriptive element of his character because he’s so manipulative. It’s really cool and a great use of detail.

[Meg] turned to Nero. “You told me never to lower myself to my enemies’ level.”

“No, indeed.” Nero’s tone had frayed like a weathered rope. “We are better. We are stronger. We will build a glorious new world. But these nonsense-spewing trees stand in our way, Meg. Like any invasive weeds, they must be burned. And the only way to do that is with a true conflagration -- flames stoked by blood.”

2016!filodox: Real 👏🏻 Gods 👏🏻 Require 👏🏻 Blood👏🏻

I was way too enthusiastic about this whole situation, wasn’t I?

Nero grinned. “Good-bye, Apollo. Only eleven more Olympians to go.”

2016!filodox: Wait, shit, WHAT

Having read Tower of Nero, this probably had something to do with Python interfering with the Fates, huh? But does that mean it’s more Python’s plan or Nero’s? If this was Nero’s plan (with his 12 kids literally replacing the Olympians) that’s,,,really fucking bold.

Then I heard the screaming from Camp Half-Blood.

2016!filodox: Music to my ears ~

I’m presenting every edgy detail of my annotations so I have a proper case file when I inevitably have to face the question “On a scale of one to ten, how relatable is Emperor Nero and why should you have realized it’s a ten sooner?”

In a flash of silver light, the camp’s magical barriers collapsed. The Colossus lurched forward and brought his foot down on the dining pavilion, smashing it to rubble like so many children’s blocks.

2016!filodox: Payback! Dear gods, I can’t stop smiling! I’m just like “YES!” I know this will all probably get fixed or whatever but I’M HAVING A MOMENT.

I’ve learned to appreciate the small wins. <3

Percy grabbed one of the crown’s sunray spikes. He sliced it off at the base, then jabbed it into the Colossus’ forehead.

2016!filodox: As much as Nero is FAR from my favorite, I really don’t like defacing ancient (or replicas of ancient) statues and art...

This is where I just start laughing at myself tbh. I was so insistent on not liking Nero. Like, I sound like I’m in denial. Peak equivocation. What happened to that heart emoji a few chapters back? Why did I suddenly make it about *checks notes* ancient art? Updated translation: nooo don’t ruin the Colossus Neronis it’s so sexy aha

Just as the [arrow] reached its apex and was about to fall back to earth, a gust of wind caught it...perhaps Zephyros looking kindly on my pitiful attempt. The arrow sailed into the Colossus’ ear canal and rattled in his head with a clink, clink, clink like a pachinko machine.

2016!filodox: HOW MANY EX MACHINAS IS THIS ?! The dryads, the arrow, Percy, the enchantment, and THIS ?

One of my criticisms of Trials of Apollo in general is just that the stakes are so much higher and Riordan usually solves that problem by having his heroes win on long odds. The chances of them succeeding at like,,,anything they attempt are astronomical, but of course they manage. It’s not surprising but it does get a little tiring.

“Yo, Nico,” Leo called, “please tell me that’s it for the physical abuse.”

“For now.” Nico smiled. “We’re still trying to get in touch with the West Coast. You’ll have a few dozen people out there who will definitely want to hit you.”

2016!filodox: Oh I’d love to hit him. With the flaming, Imperial gold payload of an onager. Preferably WITHOUT the Pontifex Maximus attached to it -- unless of course you mean the false pontifex, Jason Grace.

Leo was the salt in the wound for this one, ngl. He rekindled my undying ire over Octavian’s death. As I said at the beginning of this, I was extremely ready to die on Octavian’s hill after Heroes of Olympus. That sentiment sticks around for a while...

And we can call that a wrap!

Though it may seem like it, my annotations are not, in fact, a compilation of Nero’s greatest hits. There are a lot of scenes of his that I love (naturally) but I didn’t have anything to say about them when I first read the series. Maybe I’ll share those another time.

In any case, I hope you got something out of this ridiculously long post! Until next time! <3

[revisitingstoneybrook]

#68 Jessi and the Bad Babysitter: Chapter 9

Phew, sorry for the long delay! Real life happened and I’ve been super busy. But I’m back now!

So last we left off, Jessi caught Margo shoplifting when they went to the party store to buy props for their BSC Project du Jour. But since this is the BSC, Jessi doesn’t tell the Pikes or even Mallory what she did. *eyeroll*

Also, something is rotten in the state of the BSC and it isn’t the 2-year-old box of Ring Dings in Claudia’s closet...

Next BSC meeting on Monday. Mallory doesn't say anything about Margo, so Jessi concludes that, sure enough, Margo didn't tell her parents. She frets about what to do and still doesn't say anything to Mallory! Oh my god, TELL HER!

Mallory's at the meeting, by the way, but still looks like she's going to nod off at any moment. Hey, as long as she's there. Or else there would be bad things on the horizon for her for missing another meeting. *cue lightning and thunder clap*

Jessi's mind is taken off of shoplifting and Margo briefly when the clock changes to 5:31 and Wendy isn't there! Uh oh! *cue more lightning and thunder clap* Jessi says it's the third time she's been late. Um...they were exactly on time the first BSC meeting she attended and they got to the Barretts a little late, I'll give them that. But the only meeting she had ever been to, they were on time! Geez! Kristy gets all huffy and demands to know where she is. Jessi says she can't be sick because she was in school today and Kristy snips that she should have called. It's a fucking minute, calm the hell down!

And what do you know, tons of the neglectful parents of Stoneybrook start calling in to get someone else to do the child-rearing while they're off doing who knows what and it's all jobs that Wendy could have taken. Steam is now pouring out of Kristy's ears at this point. Jessi, trying to defend her friend, suggests that maybe Wendy had a sitting job run late. But a scan of the record book shows that she had none scheduled. Kristy, shaking like a geyser about to explode, says she'll call Shannon to see what she can take on. Um, why don't they just have Shannon come to meetings if they're calling her so much? And for that matter, Logan too. Are they that busy? I mean, Shannon at least is home whenever they call her! That’s the logical solution but as we all know, the BSC lacks logic.

Before Kristy can call Shannon, Mallory says she wants to call her mom to come pick her up. She also tells the club that her mom finally remembered that she isn't the live-in nanny and made a doctor's appointment for her the following evening. The club (well, most of them, because Kristy is still simmering with rage) is relieved and Claudia says she was starting to get really worried. Mallory says she's worried for herself and then realizes...hey wait. The rest of the Pike Army needs someone to watch them! Jessi's the only one free but since there's so much of the Duggars Pikes, they need another sitter. Hey, what about that "Vanessa's really responsible" thing from the last chapter? No? Already forgotten? Ok.

The only other one free is Wendy and Kristy reminds everyone that, uh...she isn't at the meeting. So she's useless. Mallory calls her mom and goes to wait downstairs. Claudia and Jessi hope there isn't some serious, terrible disease afflicting Mallory, and they get an *eyeroll* from Kristy. And I'm posting the next exchange in its entirety because I don't know whether to laugh or get the urge to punch Kristy. Or both.

“She's probably got some kind of flu or something. And I hope we don't all catch it. If we have to close up for a couple of weeks we might just have to close up for good.” What a horrible thought! “Why?” I asked. “Because everyone will find other sitters,” said Kristy. “And once that happens they'll stick with their new sitters. We haven't heard from the Hills once since we couldn't take that job last week.”

Ok, what the fuck?! The BSC shutting down for a couple of weeks?! What about all those times the club went on a group vacation, Kristy? Did Shannon and Logan take every single job while you guys were away? Geez, being an associate requires a lot of time! And Kristy's whole rant doesn't make sense. I guess the Hills are still dead to the BSC because Mr. Hill did the unthinkable and said he would have to call other sitters.

Stacey, saying what we're all thinking, tells Kristy to stop freaking out about the Hills not calling, they probably just didn't need a sitter since last week. But...but...but this is Stoneybrook! Parents are ALWAYS going out and ALWAYS need someone else to raise their children! Kristy shoots down her argument:

“Maybe, but I don't like it,” Kristy grumbled. “It makes me nervous. The Hills may not be our biggest customers,” but Norman sure is our biggest charge, hoo-boy is he a fatass! “but I don't like to lose even a single client.”

I love how Kristy is freaking out because a family hasn't called for ONE WEEK. No calls for one week = they hate us and are moving on with another sitter. Paranoid and delusional, party of one!

Stacey reiterates that they haven't lost them, they probably just haven't needed a sitter since and Kristy says, “We don't know.” Good lord. Calm the fuck DOWN! Another job comes in, it's another Wendy could have taken and Kristy orders Jessi to call her. Jessi does and no one's home. Oh, if Wendy shows up and it was a family emergency, would Kristy still yell at her? Yeah, she probably would.

The meeting goes on, Logan and Shannon are called many times, it sounds like some jobs have to be turned down, so I guess more families have made it onto the “DEAD TO THE BSC” list. At 5:55, Wendy strolls in. Uh oh...she's in for a bad punishment now! *cues lightning and clap of thunder again* What will it be...50 lashes? An hour in the stocks? Babysitting for the Rodowskys without a crash helmet?

Kristy blows up at her and demands to know where she's been. Wendy, bewildered, says she had a babysitting job run late. She asks if any jobs came in for her and Kristy says, “Plenty. But you weren't here.” Oh, it's on, bitch! 

Jessi says Wendy “didn't react the way I would have. I'd have been mortified and apologetic. Wendy grew angry in return.” Yeah, because she hasn't had the BSC Kool-Aid yet! Of course she's going to react with anger, instead of bending down and begging for an apology from Kristy.

Wendy asks what's the big deal, why does she have to be here if Mary Anne can tell from the record book when she is and isn't available. Kristy, whose face is turning pink again, growls, “Because you have to be.” God, Kristy is such a bitch in this book.

Jessi reminds Wendy that she HAS to be at every single BSC meeting on penalty of death unless it's an emergency. Wendy says it was, she had a babysitting job, she couldn't leave the kids alone. Well, then you bring the kids WITH you! Gosh!

Mary Anne tells her to call next time and wants to know why Wendy took a job without telling them. Wendy's confused and Kristy explodes, “That's the second club rule you've broken! First you were late without calling, then you took a job that wasn't offered to the rest of the club.” Wendy, completely dumbfounded and now irritated, says she had no idea and is shocked that she has to hand her regular jobs over to the BSC.

And why is Kristy yelling at her for breaking the rules? NO ONE EVER TOLD HER WHAT THE BSC RULES WERE!!!!! Remember? You gave her a dumb entry “quiz” and didn't explain ANYTHING about how the club operates, except for showing her how jobs are assigned! I understand the concern over her being late but how the hell was she supposed to know that she's expected to hand over her own personal sitting jobs?

Stacey explains, “We all share jobs. Even if a client asks for a certain sitter, we offer it to everyone in the club. That's the only way to be fair.” And avoid any potential bitch fights if a client asks for someone specific and the club flips out at said sitter. See: book #15 (shameless plug - I’ve done that one on here! Check the tags!)

So Wendy is supposed to tell all her clients, who the BSC doesn't know, “Sorry, I can't be your main sitter anymore. You must call this number, 3 times a week, ONLY at this time, and reach other sitters too. Sorry, but that's the only fair way! Hail Kristy!” That is so stupid.

Wendy apologizes and says she'll call next time she's late. She also accepts the Pike job with Jessi, who begs Wendy to please please PLEASE be there on time. After the meeting, Wendy bolts out of there and Jessi catches up. Wendy asks Jessi what we've been wondering for ages, “Who does Kristy think she is?”

Jessi, ever the brainwashed BSC member, responds Kristy Thomas is the kindest, bravest, warmest, most wonderful human being I've ever known in my life “She's the president of the club. If she wasn't strict, things wouldn't run nearly as efficiently as they do. Our customers wouldn't be as happy and neither would we. It's better that Kristy makes everyone obey the rules.” Yeah, but there's a difference between strict and crazy dictator. Mallory shouldn't feel guilty about being sick and Wendy shouldn't be yelled at for breaking rules she had no idea existed.

Wendy calls Kristy crabby (that's an understatement) and Jessi insists she's just worried that the club is in trouble. And Jessi ponders...is the club really in trouble?