#oh my god i can buy NUTS

[finagled]

im so happy i could cry tears of joy. i got a food stamps card in the mail the other day and now i can buy my chocolate belvita biscuits and have something easy to shove in my mouth with coffee in the morning

if i can get our local walmart to carry great value brand large curd cottage cheese i am going to be so set

[girlwiththegreenhat]

you ever hate on something you've never played/watched/read for what are still moderately good reasons given the circumstances, and then decide to go and play/watch/read the thing just to be fair. just to give it a chance

and then you were not only Right but its Worse Somehow and you're actually just more pissed off now

[caitlinbueckers]

baby daddy.

paige bueckers x reader

3.2k

like guys . I don’t even know what to say rn . this is PURE fucking filth like yas there is some exposition in the beginning and its dialogue heavy but like ✋✋ just know this is fucking porn . So sorry for anon if this isn’t up to par but the wormz took over my brain and this is all i have to show for it . Love u so much for the idea tho <3

ANYWAYZZZ !!!! you and paige buy a strap. filth ensues.

MAJOR 18+ WARNING!!!!

“babe.”

it’s deadpan, borderline exasperated as you turn your head, meeting a wildly unimpressed expression from paige that makes you snort out loud, hand coming up to cover your mouth.

in your girlfriends hand, dangling from her fingers, is a dildo of some sorts, shaped horrifically in the form of an anatomically incorrect fist, and it’s almost impossible to keep your surprised laughter from bubbling out, taking a step closer with a look of awe.

“dude, you’re kidding,”

“babe, why are we even here? like, deadass i have two hands and ten fingers, this is so extra.”

to be fair, she had a point— those two hands and ten fingers had never done you wrong in the slightest, but this was simply an act of impulse, deciding just that morning after you guys had spent the time with each others hands down each others pants, you’d declared in a sudden rush of post-nut clarity, that you simply had to see paige in a strap.

which, was met with a bit of intrigue and then, obviously, because paige bueckers is competitive in anything she can consider herself good at, couldn’t help but interrogate you in outright disbelief.

‘so, what i’m hearing is that i’m not enough?” it was said in the tone she uses when her sarcasm is over the top, and you can’t help the laugh that bubbles out of you, slapping her arm.

‘baby, stop being so dramatic, oh my god.”

you’d kissed her to silence her delusions as to why you’d even brought it up in the first place, before explaining ever so gently that it was never a matter of what paige couldn’t do, and more so about the capabilities of what she could do, and that you promised it would be fun.

truly, she was on board after you’d told her that for some girls it was hard to use, so that, ‘if she couldn’t handle it, she could give up’ — of course paige would never back down from a challenge.

“you do have two hands, and i love them just the same. i just wanna try it, okay? is that okay?” you say it in your quiet, softest voice, and maybe you’re kinda being a brat because you know paige could never say no to you when you talk like that, or when you walk up to her, tracing a thumb against her cheek before pulling her down to peck her nose.

it’s immediate the way she chases your lips, presses a quick one to your mouth before she’s rolling her eyes, “anything for my baby, i guess.” but, she’s smiling, and that feels like more progress than before.

in the end, you guys end up picking something pretty beginner level— it’s only six inches, has a dual ended pleasure vibrator nestled in the crotch for the one wearing it and due to paige’s prompt request, it is in fact purple, which only makes you laugh at the excited shimmy she does as you both walk out, hand in hand, the black privacy sack swinging between her fingers.

“thought you were so against the idea?” you couldn’t help but tease her once you guys are in the car, music already blasting— you know all her music without really knowing it, but it’s definitely something by brent faiyaz.

“yeah,” she shrugs, “until i thought about getting to fuck you with it.” she says coyly, glancing over at you with a raised eyebrow before she’s pulling out of the lot, hand secured on your thigh.

you guys don’t really get to it that night, or the next day— instead settling for the slow, tired morning sex that you guys indulge in before her practice and then after, the languid, loving type of sex you both revel in for the evening when she’s back at the dorms.

no, for some reason, it isn’t until a week or so later that it suddenly comes up— and even then, you weren’t necessarily thinking about it too hard, not until the teams all at dinner. you, paige, KK, and aubrey all sit together, and it’s really in moments like these that you love to actually participate in conversations with the team— KK and aubrey had been one of the first to welcome you in with open arms after you and paige had begun dating, so you really felt most at ease with them, even if they could be complete idiots.

not like paige was any better.

it had started with someone making a tiktok, going around asking who they’d never let their son or daughter date— resoundingly, enough people said paige, which was both parts hilarious for you, and astounding for paige.

“bro! literally i’m like, the best girlfriend, that’s some bull.” she couldn’t help but scoff, even if she’s smiling just a little, “baby, i’m a good girlfriend, right?”

you purposely take a minute to answer, pretending to think about it until she grasps your thigh beneath the table, making you snicker as she squeezes, and suddenly, you know exactly the angle she’s playing.

“girl, i don’t trust you,“ KK snorts, making a face, “you’d probably get my kid pregnant or somethin’, like—“

KK’s words make paige snort, shrugging a bit, “shoot, i mean, no wonder they call me baby daddy.” she sticks her tongue out, entirely too immature for the setting of the restaurant, but it makes you warm all over anyway— you love her, even when she’s being childish, which is pretty much most of the time.

the conversation continues after that, and though you pay attention, laugh when it’s funny and answer when you need to, you can’t quite get that out of your head— baby daddy.

it makes you think.

it’s late by the time you guys get home, and true to paige’s fashion, the door is only shut and locked for a second before she’s behind you, pressing kisses to your neck and sliding hands up your shirt, humming quietly— “i’m a good girlfriend, yeah?”

it’s not often that paige asks for reassurance, mostly because she usually already knows, but it’s why it makes it extra special when she does.

“duh.” you whisper out, tilting your head back to grant her more access while she sneaks a hand into your jeans, forgoing the button entirely. her fingers are prodding against your clit when you let out a soft moan, your fluttering eyes only opening for half a second before they spot the black sack from across the room, your own hand gently grasping her wrist to still its movements.

“baby, why don’t we…?” your tilt your head in the direction, leaning your head sideways to try and capture her reaction.

surprisingly, she looks just as interested.

it’s comes out quietly, pressed to your temple, “get on the bed then.”

you don’t waste much time, stepping out of your jeans and your top until there’s nothing left but the black, simple thong that rests against your hips, crawling back against her purple sheets with an inquisitive look on your face while she pulled the thing from its plastic package.

“remember what you said earlier?” you say offhandedly as you watch paige’s muscles flex and tighten, looping the belt around her before she glances up at you, “which part?”

“baby daddy,” you can’t help but grin, tossing your head back against the bed, “just wanted to see how true that is.”

paige scoffs, and it’s obvious she likes that, plays into it even as she crawls onto the bed, looking down at you with a narrowed glance, “how true what is? that i could get you pregnant?”

it’s almost immediate the way your body flushes at that, the subconscious squeeze of your thighs together as you look up at her through lidded eyes, “mhm. is that bad?”

“i mean,” she’s smirking though, and her hand wraps around the strap on slowly, as if simulating it to be an extension of herself— it’s really fucking hot, “it’s sexy that you even thought about it like that,” she whispers, and you can practically see the confidence rising within her at the prospect, before her eyes flicker up at you. “wanna suck me off, ma?”

it makes something within you go haywire, and your mouth practically fills with saliva as if to prepare for it before you nod slowly, propping yourself up on your elbows before you stick your tongue out, paige’s blue orbs never leaving you for one second, before she’s sighing, hard under her breath, “fuuuck.”

she gets up on her knees, running her hands through your hair to gently guide your mouth down to the tip, her teeth teasing the bottom of her lip as you slowly slid the length into your mouth. it felt foreign, heavy on the tongue, but the texture was so lifelike, it almost felt like it was attached to paige.

“shit, baby,” she sounds out of breath as she thumbs your hair from your eyes, wanting to catch every dirty look you send up to her, mouth full and eyes watering, “god, you’re such… a slut.”

it must’ve been the strap or something, that had the endless string of dirty talk spilling from paige’s mouth, not entirely too uncommon and yet it had shifted the atmosphere completely. it felt lavacious, provocative, tantalizing even.

still, it makes the arousal pool between your legs, making you practically squeeze your thighs together again and again, chasing the feeling of some type of friction as paige pushed her hips up slightly, the tip only then touching the back of your throat and eliciting the first drop of a tear from your eye.

she notices, because she doesn’t miss a thing, and is slow as she pulls it from your mouth, eyes lingering on the string of saliva that connected your bottom lip from the tip of the strap.

she’s breathing heavy, blonde strands falling into her face, loose from the usual braid she kept her front pieces in as she grasps your jaw, “does that hurt?”

it doesn’t, but it makes you smirk that she even asks, shaking your head before you lean back now, head hitting the mattress as you open your thighs, raising an eyebrow inquisitively.

“you can make it hurt,” you suggest, and paige lets out a slow exhale, a teasing grin on her smile as she grasps it by the hilt, “you’re driving me fucking crazy, y’know that?” the words are hissed down at you, spoken between her lips, chapped from how hard she’d been breathing as she rubs the tip of the now warmed, messily lubricated length against your cunt, eyes narrowed and focused as she drags it up, then down.

“you’re so wet,” it sighs out of paige as if she doesn’t even realize that she’d said it, a whine puffing past your lips involuntarily, ready to spit some type of urgency towards her, until she pushes in, finally, and you fucking gasp.

it was unlike what you’d really ever felt before— especially having never been with men or experimenting with penetration on this degree. it’s thicker than you expect, thicker than paige’s fingers combined, and your back arches upwards off the bed, right as paige grasps your hip to keep you right in place. “shh, shh— fuck, you’re so good, baby.”

“ohhh- oh fuck, paige—“ the words come out in a mess of noises, as you fling an arm over your face to try and focus on the comforting rub of paige’s thumb, the smell of her cologne, instead of the stretching, hot pressure that’s collected between your legs.

it only takes a couple moments before it doesn’t completely hurt, but the second that it does, you can finally blink your watery eyes open, letting out a soft moan at the furrowed eyebrows on paige’s face, her own lips parted as she carefully gives a shallow thrust into you, the subsequent friction of the dull, now audible buzzing of the vibrator on the other end of the dildo against her clit and it’s obvious.

it’s in the way she grunts, tongue darting out to seek attention to her bottom lip. “s’that feel good?” she’s panting already, and it makes your stomach swirl in arousal, nodding quickly as she gives another slow, but shallow thrust that sends immediate shivers up your spine, a rush of rampant pleasure up your stomach as you let out a groan, “more?”

it doesn’t take long for paige to find a rhythm— surprising considering her dancing abilities— and once she does, you can practically sense the confidence that radiates off of her. it’s in the way she wraps an arm around your thigh to hoist your leg up, higher, higher, until your cunt is on full display, and she’s leaning atop you, pressing wet kisses to your breasts as she drags her hips into you, each push making you both shudder out a moan.

“shit, baby— so fucking— so fucking wet. wan’me to fuck a baby into you, huh?” paige always has a habit of going on these fuck-drunk tangents, ones that usually send you careening over the edge in due time, but this��� it makes you mewl into her ear, the thick, heavy weight of the strap punching into you, deeper than you or paige could ever reach, and it makes your hips jerk upwards, wanting more of it, all of it.

for half a second, you hoped, by some weird anatomical technique, she could get you pregnant.

“ohhh— fuck! paige, paige— pleasepleaseplease—“ what you’re begging for, even you can’t decipher, but it’s really just to make sure that she rocks into you like that again.

and she does— again and again, drool collecting in the corner of your mouth from how long your lips have been parted, and paige looks at you, delirious and flushed as she drags her thumb over your mouth, wipes away the spit and reaches between you two.

before you can figure it out, you feel her finger tracing the outside of your stretched cunt, the wetness that’s collected there as she lets out a wanton sigh, something more high pitched than what paige usually grunts out, “stretching you s’good, baby— fucking- take it, jus’ like that— fuck, wanna fuck you stupid, baby.”

it’s almost too much. your head presses hard against the comforter as paige’s hips push flush against your own, the final stab of the length being inside of you makes your head swim, your body acting upon it’s own accord as your thighs, shaking, squeeze around paige’s hips, your stomach flexing and jumping as paige gives up whatever bit of composure or control she has left, before she’s quick to fuck into you without a single strand of resistance.

it’s hot, heady, and the sweat that collects on the surface of your skin is almost like a sense of accomplishment as her face falls into your neck, your thighs pushed impossibly high to give her the best angle, as she ruts into you. the slight curve of the dildo somehow gives a direct angle to your g-spot, and it punches a shout out of you, one that’s followed with a crying whine that even you knew was bound to get you both caught.

“fffuck— shhh- shut the fuck up—“ her mouth is on your neck in an instant, other hand quick to clamp over your mouth, but the friction against paige’s clit has her bottom lip quivering, struggling to close as each of her gravelly, breathy moans launch right into your ear, and it’s clear that she’s being greedy, grinding the strap into your cunt for the effort of chasing her own high, and it’s fucking sexy.

this deep, you can almost feel the fucking vibrator, and it reduces you into nothing— fingers twine into paige’s hair, sweaty and sticky, as she fucks into you with reckless abandon, the bed frame squeaking in protest, your cunt wet enough that you can fucking hear it, can feel it drip onto the bed below, feel it coating the sheets and paige’s thighs and you think she’s about to orgasm with how quick her breath has gotten, how shaky her hips are with each incessant thrust, like an earthquake pulsing through your body and it makes you sob, because it feels so fucking good, and paige is so deep, you can feel her everywhere.

“wanna cum inside of’you— ohmyfuck- please, wanna fuck my babies into you— iloveyou, so, fucking- so fu-ucking sexy, baby, fuck.”

it’s all gibberish really, a promise that makes you turn into a pile of mush, because you can feel your cunt tighten around it— delusionally, you imagine paige can feel it too— because even her declaration of love is enough to send you flying over the edge as your legs tighten around her hips, the vibrator nestled deep against paige’s clit until she’s coming too, and it’s a glorious thing to hear— ripping from her throat in a cacophony of throaty groans and whines that mimic yours, only deeper, grittier.

she thrusts into you, sloppy and out of control until you can feel her release on your cunt, spread against your thighs, the dull vibration now pressing hot and wet against you, so much so that it makes your body flood in aftershock, pleasure wracking through you in earnest as your body twitches and jumps, every embarrassingly high pitched noise ripping from your throat, as paige’s go muddled and unintelligible against your neck.

it’s like a cathartic release of sorts, leaving you feeling boneless and jellied in the wake as you slowly return to your senses, fucked out and exhausted as you try to experimentally move your hips, but the soreness between your legs is almost unfathomable.

“shit—“ you hiss as paige finally lifts her head, her own hand slow to guide the strap from your abused cunt, and it’s clear by, not only the tired, almost loopy smirk on her face, but the redness in her eyes, the wetness coating her lashes, that she’d enjoyed herself as much as you had— and while sex between you had always been mutual, it wasn’t often you got to see her fully release like that.

“was that good, hm? did i do okay?” she’s always quick to look for approval, her hand coming up to brush the tears from your face, to pepper a light array of kisses against your lips, chapped and puffy, as you let out a tired laugh, “fucking duh, that shit was… so hot,” you trace her blonde strands, plastered to her forehead, away from her face, “don’t think i’ve ever heard you sound like that.”

it makes her cheeks red, eyes rolling with a scoff, as she lets out a quiet laugh, already trying to play it off as cocky instead of flushed, “well- yeah, ‘cause, i was watching you take my dick.” you slap her arm weakly with a snort, wincing at her usage of words, “ew, you’re so gross.”

“and you’re so pretty,” she counters, before pressing a quick kiss to your mouth.

you both don’t really try to address the fact that there was probably no way you’d both been quiet enough to not at least alert one of the girls, but you ignore it anyway.

besides, it’s only KK that ends up putting you both in a group message the next morning, sending a string of angry emojis and a text that says, ‘bye. im moving rooms’.

you both laugh, because you know she’s not, and more so, you all three know it wasn’t the first time and definitely not the last.

[cordeliawhohung]

You created a monster in me with underboss!Simon and now you must take responsibility.

Please feed my new addiction with relationship headcanons 😩😩😩. I love him and Shy!reader.

i've created so many monsters y'all gotta stop biting at my ankles or at least start paying rent or smth <3 also i'm still trying to work out a lot of the dynamics of the relationship between them so this is still a little bare boned but i hope you enjoy!

mafia!141 masterlist <3

warnings: mostly fluff :3 simon is a bit of a prick lol, fem!reader,

just in case anyone missed it, this is how underboss!Simon and shy!Reader meet <3

it takes a brutally long time for the two of you to start dating. a brutally long time.

and it isn't for lack of trying on Simon's end. he manages to get your number somehow (i hear Soap is very tech savvy...) and asks you out the week after the dinner at John's house, only for you to decline.

which is fine. he can take rejection. but this is... different. you're too kind when you say no. you're not saying it because you think you're too good for him, you're saying it because of something else, and Simon can tell the difference but can't exactly tell what it is.

it drives him nuts for a long time. you were supposed to be just another number in his phone for a booty call. he's used to getting pretty much anything he wants, after all, but even then it shouldn't have bugged him as much as it did. maybe it was because he liked the way you looked at him. not with disgust. not with some lustful intention. you were... soft. kind, even.

as for you? you think it's crazy how this 6'4", ripped, and kind guy showed interest in you. you, someone too anxious for her own good, someone who said no because it was less scary than committing to something. and you hate yourself for rejecting him.

so in an effort to stay close to him, you text him pretty often. you send him pictures of things you see or run into during your day. something funny at work, a cool rock you found in someone's garden, the spider that decided to make its home in your shower. and sweetheart, you have no idea what you're doing to the poor man ):

this goes on for a long while. just simon being a stupid man, not wanting to push your boundaries after you already rejected him, and you being too anxious to fix things and ask him yourself.

eventually, by some miracle (that i might write more about later because like i said BARE BONES) the two of you get together. and it's... interesting. simon isn't really used to dating. like properly. he's used to buttering a girl up, going back to her place for a quick fuck, and then only seeing her whenever either of them are too bored and horny to function. but with you it's nothing like that at all. there's no sex on the first date, not even a damn kiss, and he finds himself craving you more than ever because of it. wanting to be around you all the time, wanting to hear about your day.

man is fucking obsessed.

he treats you like a princess. he only ever really spent his money on stupid shit but now he can spend it on you! you never ask for anything, but god forbid if you express that anything, be it clothes or otherwise, looks cute because he will buy it for you, no matter how awkward you are at receiving gifts.

also! because he's so big and somewhat brutish, no one fucks with you when you're in public together. annoying kiosk clerks trying to aggressively sell you something? one look from him and they're gone. someone messed up your order but you're too anxious to ask them to fix it? he's advocating for you.

because of him, you find yourself growing less afraid and anxious of things. he teaches you how to be brave, and you teach him how to be soft. there's nothing in the world that he wouldn't do for you <3

oh also btw he's in the mafia. he might have forgotten to mention that... hope that doesn't freak you out or anything. don't worry about the blood on his shirt or the bruises on his face or the cuts on his arms or... oh god you look like you're going to cry. it's nothing, sweetheart! promise! stop trying to take him to the hospital!

also, some sorta unrelated comments: i think shy!reader is def a hostess at a restaurant. i feel like simon would hang out at the restaurant too just to be around you. he'd also slip you a tip, even though you tell him you make hourly and don't depend on tips.

"consider it my way of saying thanks for sitting us at the table with the best view."

the view is you, btw.

AHHH i'm sorry this was such a mess? i have so many jumbled thoughts but i'm glad i was able to get some of them out and i hope they were somewhat enjoyable al;kdjf i'll be working on a short drabble/oneshot for him over the weekend, so i'm hoping that'll make up for this <3

[inkdrinkerworld]

Oh my god post-prison spencer and sunshine!reader is my new favorite 🥹

Can I request how spencer would react if something goes wrong in one of their cases and reader is held hostage/taken? I imagine she would be shaken ofc and spencer would comfort her after

canon level violence, reader has dislocated her shoulder and was concussed while also trying to fight off the feelings that are rapidly developing for spencer, and spencer doesn't give a fuck about her fighting their attraction

“Unlock the door, Y/n.” Spencer’s outside your door, he has been for the last couple of days. You’d been injured in the field, a concussion and a dislocated shoulder that had come from the unsub taking you during what would’ve been his take down. 

You’d been dispatched from the hospital last week after being less than attractive to the doctor who wanted to keep you there for longer. 

You’d answered texts and calls from your co-workers, but you’d been ignoring Spencer. 

“Go away Spencer, you’re supposed to be in Nebraska.” you were consulting on a case the team is currently on, so he can’t lie. 

He doesn’t try to, like you’d suspected, “I asked Emily to stay behind, you aren’t doing well.” 

You sigh on the other side of the door, relenting because you know that he won’t leave. 

“How can I help you?” You’re a little less than polite, but Spencer doesn’t seem to care. He knows what it’s like to be sidelined from the team due to injury and be upset about it. 

“Well first, you can let me in, I may look strong but these arms were not made to hold more than five bags at a time.” he’s as tender as he always is and it softens you. 

Stepping aside, you let Spencer in. Your apartment is clean, you’ve been surviving off delivery breakfasts and take out lunches, you can’t raise your hand high, so cooking is a no. 

You’re not worried about your attire, you’re in a green tank top with ’save the planet’ embroidered in cursive with a sick earth just beneath it, and a pair of cotton shorts that hit just above your knee- the heat in the city was driving you crazy and you also didn’t have the energy to try for more clothes- certainly not without upsetting your shoulder some more.

If Spencer is surprised by your outfit, he says nothing. You’re hardly surprised by his, a purple shirt tucked neatly into his dress pants and smart shoes; you’re not sure how he’s managed a perfect outfit in this heat.

Spencer sets the bags down and begins the task of taking out all the things inside- he pulls out packages of various nuts, passion fruit juices and a mountain of those clear, plastic bowls filled with fruit. 

“You didn’t have to buy pre-cut fruit; I know it’s more expensive that way.” You say to him, finding a bit of trouble pushing yourself into the chair you have at your kitchen island. 

Spencer sets down the plastic bags and moves around the countertop to help you, “I cut them myself, they didn’t have the ones you like in the grocery store.” 

You’re stunned silent, the bowls are full of watermelon, cantaloupes, orange quarters, mangoes, grapes and pineapple. All your favourites cut exactly the way you liked. Spencer must’ve spent around a hundred dollars just getting the fruit alone, maybe even more if the number of grapes is anything to go off of. 

“Spencer, you didn't have to.” He shrugs, his eyes searching your face. 

“How’s your head? Have you been feeling dizzy or having double vision?” It’s not easy to lie to Spencer, doubly so when he’s standing before you and staring at you so intensely. 

“The dizziness comes and goes, mostly when I’m in the shower.” You say honestly, and Spencer frowns. 

“You could’ve told me,” you blow a raspberry and pull the bowl full of mangoes towards you. 

“You would’ve made me go back to the hospital; I don’t like the smell of them.” you chew on a piece of mango while Spencer carries on assessing you. 

He notes that the mottling on your shoulder has gone down significantly, now it’s just purple and a little blue. Your eyes don’t appear unfocused, and Spencer is glad for it. “I wouldn’t have.”

“So, what’s your verdict, Doc?” you ask, shutting the lid on the mangoes before you burn through the entire container. 

“You’re not concussed, I think your dizziness in the shower is from you moving your shoulder too much and agitating it.” Spencer presses a light fingertip into the bruised skin and you hiss, batting his hand away making him laugh. 

You hum, “So what? I just never shower again? In the middle of this heatwave? I’d rather die.”  

“I forget how dramatic you can be.” Spencer shakes his head, “Or, you could’ve called me, or Penelope and either one of us could’ve given you a sponge bath.” 

You make your eyebrows dance, “You would’ve liked that, wouldn’t you Spence?” He rolls his eyes, tugging on the braid your hair is in. 

“How’d you do that?” he asks, helping you off the chair and leading you into your kitchen. 

Your face is red hot, “I bribed my neighbour’s kid to do it for pumpkin bread the minute my arm is out the sling.” 

Of course you did, you might be sunshine incarnate, but Spencer knows everyone has a spot they don’t want others to see- this is yours. You don’t want anyone in your team viewing you as incapable or in need when they should see you as capable and able to do every facet of your job. 

“I can help you make the bread tonight if you want something to do when the case is over.” 

You tilt your head, watching Spencer look around your cupboards for a glass. “Top left cabinet,” you say and he nods, smiling when he finds a glass covered in stickered ladybugs. 

Spencer fills it almost to the top with passion fruit juice and passes it to you. 

“Are you staying the night, Spencer Reid?” you take a sip and sigh in delight, it’s been a while since you’ve had passion fruit juice, you’re not entirely sure how Spencer knew it was your favourite. 

“If you let me, it isn’t good for you to be by yourself and the more you strain your shoulder, the longer it’ll take for you to get back in the field.”

An impish smile tugs at your lips, your eyes gleaming with a mischievousness Spencer hardly thought you possessed, “So what you’re saying is, you miss me desperately and will sacrifice your hatred of germs and touching other people just to ensure I’m back in Quantico at your earliest convenience?” 

A call from Penelope cuts through the fat of your question, making you laugh when Spencer rushes to answer it and slides you a mock glare that you know is just for show. 

“Yeah, Penelope, what have you got? Y/n and I are here,” well, there’s no escaping his presence now. You find you don’t mind it quite so much, your beginning aims of not falling for him is shredding more and more as the months go on.

[traveler-at-heart]

The Thing

Summary: Natasha works the courage to ask you out.

Natasha Romanoff x F!R

Finally alone.

Natasha is very particular about her food. It took her exactly seven minutes to make the perfect sandwich. She smiles at it and as she’s about to take a bite, a voice interrupts her.

She’d be annoyed, except for the fact that it’s you.

“Hey, Natty” you say innocently, approaching from behind. You’re one of those people that is always hugging or touching your friends.

Natasha doesn’t mind. It would be easier if she didn’t have a big crush on you, though.

Closing the distance, you rest your chin on her shoulder and inspect her plate.

“That looks nice” you whisper, unaware that the redhead is struggling to keep her knees from buckling.

“Yeah…” she can feel your hands traveling around her waist. 

Nice is an understatement.

Finally reaching for a couple of chips, you giggle and step away from the other woman.

“Hey, that’s my lunch!” Natasha protests, but she’s not annoyed.

“Sorry, I’m being called for an urgent mission. Apparently, I’m the gal for the job. This will do while I get some food when I land. Thanks, gorgeous!”

That’s another thing. Gorgeous, babe, angel, darling. You always have a pet name for her. 

It’s really hard to tell if you’re flirting when you speak like that.

After all, you call Kate Bishop delicious muffin. What the hell is that supposed to mean?

No point in thinking about it now. There are more pressing matters at hand.

“Jeez, Steve, I still have 5 minutes!” You shout when someone knocks on your door. You open it and find Natasha on the other side. “Ah, sorry, love. Thought Grandpa America was timing me”

Love.

That’s new.

“Uh… here” she’s always struggling to speak whenever you’re around. You must think she’s a moron.

“For me?” You take the container that she’s presenting and open it. You gasp at the sight of a sandwich and your favorite chips. “Oh, my God!” You lean forward and kiss her on the cheek. “You’re my favorite widow”

“Yelena will be pissed when she finds out” Natasha tries to joke, looking down. Her face is burning, the touch of your lips lingering.

“She’ll survive” you put the sandwich in your bag pack as the timer in your wrist goes off. “Better find Steve before he goes nuts over a one minute delay. Thanks for the sandwich. You’re an angel” 

Another kiss on the cheek, this time closer to Natasha’s mouth. And she almost believes you know what you’re doing, based on that little smirk.

“Oh, shoot” you turn around and call for her when you’re walking towards the hangar. “When you see Yelena… tell her to remember about the thing”

“The thing?” Natasha repeats and you wink.

“She’ll know what I mean” you smile and wave goodbye. “See you in a couple of days, Natty” 

—

It doesn’t take long for Natasha to find her sister. Maybe the thing is something important and she wants to make sure Yelena remembers about it.

“Hey” Natasha says as she sits down next to the blonde.

“Hi” Yelena mumbles, sinking further in the couch, while she scrolls through cooking tutorials.

“Y/N left for a mission today”

“Oh, are you sad that your future girlfriend left?” 

“Shut up” Natasha says. Of course Yelena would know. “She wanted me to remind you about the thing”

“Mkay” Yelena answers, still looking at her phone.

“That’s it? I thought it could be important”

“She just wants me to get her tickets for a… uh…” Yelena finally looks up, drawing blank. “Crap!”

“You forgot the thing?”

“I forgot the thing” she confirms, looking around, as if the answer might be on the Compound’s walls. Kate enters, unaware of the tension in the room. Yelena runs to her. “You”

“What?” Kate barks out, looking ready to slap her. 

“You were with me when Y/N asked me to buy those tickets. Do you remember what they were for? A musical? The opera? Ballet?”

“It was a concert” Kate nods. “Don’t remember the name of the band, though. Sorry” Kate grimaces.

“Ok, let’s just say band names, see if it comes back to me” Yelena pleads and Kate stutters. Working under pressure isn’t her biggest strength.

“Uh, Rammstein” 

“She hates metal” Natasha says.

“The Phantom of the Opera”

“Not a band” Yelena shakes her head.

“The Beatles”

“Half dead” Natasha points out and Yelena groans.

“She’s gonna kill me. I have to run to Mexico. At least the food will be good there” 

“Hey, weren’t you in the room when Y/N asked Yelena for the favor?” Kate remembers all of the sudden, looking at Natasha. 

“Were you?” Yelena says, hopeful. “Please, tell me the name. I’ll do your laundry for a week”

“And wash my dishes” 

“That too” 

“And my mission reports”

“And… nu-uh, that’s too much, Tasha” 

The redhead rolls her eyes. 

“I’ll get the tickets myself. Can’t trust you with that either” 

“Do you want to give your crush a present?” Yelena pokes her tongue out and Natasha glares. Before Kate can stop them, they’re wrestling around the living room, throwing things at each other.

“Stop it!” Steve jumps in. “Hey, we just got new curtains. Damn it!” 

—

Natasha may have hacked the concert’s website to make sure you got the best tickets. She’s walking back to her room, being extra careful that they’re not folding in case you wanna keep them. She knows you have a box full of mementos from shows.

“Hey, Natty” a voice greets from the hallway. Natasha’s hands fly behind her back, because she wanted to surprise you. And she’s definitely not ready to ask you out right now. “Oh, scaredy cat. What are you hiding?” 

Your tone is playful, while you try to reach behind her. Only as your face comes close to her, she notices the bruise around your left eye and temple.

“What happened to you?” she puts the tickets on her back pocket and places her hands on your face. “Who did this to you?”

“H.Y.D.R.A. brute. Nothing new under the sun” you smile and take advantage of the distraction to reach for Nat’s pockets. The redhead is faster and takes your right wrist. The same thing happens with your left hand, and she holds both wrists close to her chest. “Nat! Come on” 

“I can’t show it to you, not now” she tries hard not to giggle, but you’re struggling to break free and the frown on your face makes you look adorable. 

“You are not playing fair, Natasha. I’m calling for backup. FRIDAY, call Yel..”

Natasha panics then, pulling you close and silencing you with her lips. You stand still for a couple of seconds, but then close your eyes, deepening the kiss.

She sighs against your mouth and lets go of your wrists, her hands going down to circle your waist. You bite her lip and the moan she lets out is reward enough.

"My, I'd say buy me dinner first but I wouldn't mind skipping straight to dessert" you joke and she smiles, her green eyes still closed.

But, you’re still curious, so you take advantage of her distraction and reach in her back pocket.

“Wait” Natasha says, her face flushed and lips swollen.

“You got me the tickets? That's better than dinner!”, you say, jumping into her arms once again. 

“Well, Yelena forgot the thing and I wanted to ask you out” she smiles against your shoulder and you pull back. Her eyes go back to the bruise, concerned once again. “Are you sure this doesn’t hurt?”

“I’m fine. Never been better” you lean forward and kiss her again. She smiles against your lips, thinking how happy she is that Yelena is always forgetting things.

[dilfl0v3rss]

annoying things they do

𝑜𝑛𝑦

- doesn’t let you sleep in unless he’s sleeping in too. like this nigga would literally wake you up at eight am. durag, plaid pajama pants, and hoodie on. with his keys jingling in his hands on some, “ma get up we going to the store.”

- goes through a bottle of juice in less than two days. you literally have to buy him his own minute made and orange juice because if the two of you share it’ll be gone so quick.

- steals a lot of words and phrases from you, and they’re either used so wrong that you laugh or so right that you’d have no choice but to stand in shock. like he’d come home from the barbershop and go up to you like, “like my cut ma? it’s eating rightttt?” and you’d just be standing there like how do you know how to use that?

- this man is greedy. like all of them are greedy, but ony is a different type of greedy. he would never eat your food without permission, but let you open up a bag of chips around him. the next thing you gon see is his big ass hand in your face on some, “lemme get one” or if you eating a burger or a slice of pizza and he see you enjoying it. he’s in your face immediately. “lemme get a bite ma. shit look mad good.”

- smacks your ass so damn hard. like when y’all are having sex it’s not really an issue, but why is he sending you flying at eleven in the morning while you’re making eggs.

𝑛𝑠𝑓𝑤

- says the dirtiest shit in your ear and just walks away after. he doesn’t care where y’all are either. you could be walking through the baby section of walmart just because it’s the fastest route to where you needed to go and he’d come up behind you, making you stop in your tracks as he put his hand on top of where yours were gripping the cart, dick print all on your ass while he whispers in your ear. “keep screaming ‘nut in me daddy’ while i’m fucking you and soon you gon be buying shit from here”. you didn’t even get to reply because once you moved to turn around he backed up from you and kept walking.

- always wants to finger you while he’s driving. especially if you have a sundress onnnn. he don’t care how long or short the drive is, you’re going to cum before y’all get to the destination. and it be so random because he asks so plainly like “ma pull your dress up. wanna play wit her”. not even looking away from the road. you’d try to talk him out of if, but ony doesn’t care. “ion care if we five minutes away. i could make you cum in two.”

- will fuck you literally anywhere. if you tease him you have about ten minutes to fix it or he’s going to fix it himself. which means taking you literally anywhere so he can get what he wants. sometimes you don’t even have to tease him. all it really takes is a pretty outfit and some nice perfume and he’s on you. he’s fucked you in fitting rooms, club bathrooms, party bathrooms, his old bedroom at his moms house, and the list goes onnn. if you looking good he’s on that ass.

𝑐𝑜𝑛𝑛𝑖𝑒

- heavy sleeper like it’s ridiculous. the first few minutes of him sleeping he’ll probably wake up if he hears something, but once he’s been sleep past an hour there is no waking that man up.

- literally bites you. if you point in his face he’s going to try to bite your finger. if y’all are play fighting and he gets on top of you he’s going to try to bite your neck. when y’all are chilling and he’s laying on your ass he’s going to eventually bite it. he has a serious problem.

- mocks your moans or plays your tapes out loud around the house if he feels that you’re “playing” with him. so if y’all are going back and forth don’t even bring up anything about his dick because he will use your moans against you.

“that’s not what you was saying last night. what happened to, ‘oh my god papi your dick so biggg’ and ‘please daddy i wanna have your baby’?”

or if y’all just got done arguing and you decide to just walk away and start cleaning (i clean when i’m mad). you’d be washing the dishes and out of nowhere just start hearing pornographic slaps and moans being played on the house speaker.

“daddy pleasee m’so sorryyy.*slap slap slap slap* you sorry ma? *slap slap slap* y-e-sssss fuckkkk.”

you’d sprint from the kitchen to the living room where connie was sitting, just sitting there rolling up like the whole house doesn’t sound like a scene off of pornhub. you’d try to snatch the phone from him, but he’d move his hand and get up. putting the phone high in the air so you can’t reach. “connie you bet-”

“say you sorry and i’ll turn it off”

- sometimes he’ll purposely not kiss you back when you kiss him. just letting you move your lips on his while he keeps his in a straight line to piss you off.

- just starts randomly acting like you. like you could be getting something from the fridge and he’ll walk up to you, chest full of tattoos, sweats sagging on his waist, holding up his phone. “girllll you really ate the girls up wit your new ig post. the fit is giving rich gyalll.”

𝑛𝑠𝑓𝑤

- eats you out for sooooo long. like he doesn’t care if you are screaming crying or passed the hell out. only when he feels like he’s done will he stop. if you try to stop him he’ll just say “it’s not about you mami. this for me” and then continue to remove your soul from your body.

- will purposely hit the wrong spots inside you when you piss him off. they aren’t particularly bad spots, but he knows you’ll never cum from him hitting them. of course you’ll complain about it because you know he’s doing it on purpose. “con s-stop ittt!” but of course he just has something smart to say back to you. “stop playin in my face and maybe i’ll hit it right.”

- another one that’ll fuck you anywhere, but he’s worse with it. he’s fucked you on the side of the road one night. passenger door open with you bent over the seat while he fucked you from outside of the car. he gives no fucks.

- is always breaking something. you tried to cuff him one time while you gave him head. he broke the cuffs…and it didn’t stop there. he’s broken two headboards, one of your nails, your glasses, and almost all of your waist beads while fucking you.

𝑎𝑟𝑎𝑛

- if you piss him off before going to bed he’s going to take your bonnet right tf off while you asleep. then will proceed to laugh at you in the morning while your yelling cursing about your hair being fucked up.

- randomly starts yelling song lyrics. like y’all could be sitting on the couch and your bones would literally shake in your body cause he thought it would be okay to yell pop smoke lyrics out of nowhere.

-bends you over and starts acting like he’s fucking you. like if you’re making a tiktok while he walks in the room he will literally push you down by the back of your neck and start “drilling” your shit in the camera.

- wakes you up just to make you do stupid shit. you would be sleeping like a baby just to be shook up by his big ass hands on your shoulders. you’d wake up in a panic and he’d go “mama. mama look! the obama’s need our help we gotta get the men in black and shoot the aliens cmon!” and of course your confused ass is gon get up, taking the broom he handed to you and going into the living room to “fight”. when you realize what he said and turned towards him, he was already well into laughter. watching you mumble curses under your breath before walking back to your room.

𝑛𝑠𝑓𝑤

- if you’re the one coming to him for sex he’s going to make you work for it. he loves when you take the initiative, getting on top of him and taking what you need. it was the sexiest thing in the world so now if you want it you have to come get it. if you try to whine about it he’ll just tell you, “s’your dick mama. if you really wanted it you would take what you need instead of just having daddy fuck you silly all the time.”

- teases you soooo much. whether it be standing real close behind you, staring at you with that sexy look on his face or just straight up choking you, tonguing you down, then walking tf away. aran lovessss to tease you.

- if he sees you getting a little too “friendly” with a guy he will make you call them while he’s fucking you. purposely hitting all of your favorite spots so a moan or two can slip just so they can know that you will always be his. he’ll also make it very known that he’s the one fucking you.

“uhh huh. ask em how his day was mama” he’d say in a breathless tone. loving the way your ass bounced off his lower stomach. “h-how was your day?” your friend wouldn’t know whether to be horrified or turned on at the situation. clearly the latter since he began to palm himself through his pants on the other end of the phone.

if they choose to stay friends with you that’s fine because aran knows that every time they see you they’ll think of him.

- sometimes will make you watch him eat you out, knowing that it always made you cum faster when you’d watch him slowly let his spit drip from his mouth to your clit.

𝑡𝑎𝑛𝑎𝑘𝑎

- sucks a massaging feet. one minute he’s rubbing and squeezing the tension from them, then the next minute he’s trying to put them in his mouth or he’s putting them in the chokehold while tickling the fuck out of them.

- do not let this man buy you a pair of sneakers. he will watch you like a hawk, just itching for you to do something wrong so he can cay something.

“mama don’t walk like thatttt. you gon crease themmm”

“baby pay attention where you walkin. could’ve been stepping in shit like five times and you wouldn’t know a thing.”

tanaka has so many different sneakers and treats them like babies so when he buys you a pair you need to treat them that way as well or it physically pains him.

- bumps his head all the timeeee. you have to watch this man around the house or the next thing you know you gon be hearing “OWW…shit that hurt!” cause he bumped his head on the corner of the kitchen island while picking something up.

𝑛𝑠𝑓𝑤

- always eats you out before and after sex. doesn’t care if you shaking and pushing his head away because your “too sensitive”, after he gets done fucking you he’s going to eat you out. whether he nut in you or not

- purposely fucks you harder when he knows people can hear. loves the embarrassed/shy face you make while getting dressed after he’s finished knocking the mario coins out of your pussy in your grandmas bathroom at your family barbecue.

- if y’all fuck after arguing he makes you repeat everything you said while you were mad while he’s pounding you into the mattress.

“say it ma. repeat what you said t’me”

“y-you not the o-only n-nigga i need shittt”

“now is that true?”

“nuh uhhhh. s’not true daddy”

“then if i hear it again ima fuck you even harder cause not only are you being disrespectful, but you lying too”

- will fuck you like the meanest nigga on earth. i’m talking slapping your ass so hard you actually seen hints of red in your skin, spitting all in your mouth, choking you while giving you light slaps on the face to keep you from passing out, then will have the audacity to go hop on the game all giddy and happy like you weren’t still on the bed trying to remember your name and who you were.

[elsweetheart]

omg idk if this is ok to ask since you’ve never written for hazel but like what do you think her reaction to you mindlessly wearing a super short skirt in front of her would be like… maybe ur like freshly into the relationship n didn’t have sex yet so she’d go crazy i 🤭

no because she’s so silly and awkward but like so horny ♡

waiting in line for your iced latte at the university cafe and she’s backed up a few steps, literally removing her arm from around your shoulder so she can ogle at you without looking like a total creep. you look back to glance at her and she nearly does a full spin trying to pretend she wasn’t looking — and she wasn’t! honest! she was trying to read the rhinestone lettering on the tiny pink skirt that just happened to be spelling something out across your ass!

you didn’t even say anything or acknowledge her gaze, and yet excuses come tumbling suddenly — “n-no—i wasn’t — you had a…” she waves her hand like she’s casting a fucking spell, mumbling something about a stain and your attention is captured again by the barista handing over your drink, paying no attention to hazels rambling as it certainly wasn’t out of character. it’s only back in the safety of your dorm when she brings it up again, because she quite literally cannot keep her eyes off the skirt so she figured she should say something, you know out of politeness.

“so, ‘that a new skirt or?” she trails off hoping it sounded casual and nonchalant. you stand from where you’re sat at your desk, absolutely elated that she noticed the tiny skirt you wore just for her, and she’s breaking into a grin of her own at how cute you were when you were excited. god, she was down dreadful.

“yes! i literally went to get it from the post room yesterday, it’s so cute — it says spoiled across the ass look!” you turn around, twisting at the waist to look down at it yourself. hazels eyes widen naturally, rubbing her sweaty hands on her knees, self soothing so she didn’t nut in her pants there and then. the swell of your ass peeks from beneath the skirt, having ridden up and her mouth waters. she wants to bite the flesh there, not in a weird way or anything just… shit.

“y—i mean, yeah it’s…” she stands up, wandering over to you gently slapping her fist into the palm of her opposing hand, smile fading into more of a smirk— not cocky just… relaxed. whatever it was, it made you bat your lashes a little. “you kinda have this thing where you look good in everything you wear?” she squints, leaning back a little, her voice getting higher as if she was gently breaking news to you. “but the skirt is really pretty. you’re really pretty.” she smiles simply.

you feel all hot in the face and appreciated, rolling your glossy lips over eachother (which she doesn’t miss, her eyes flickering downwards chanting ‘oh fuck’ in her head undoubtably.) “well im glad. i did buy it because like… i don’t know, wanted you to like it.” you get all shy on her and she smiles even bigger.

“well i definitely do. a little too much.”

you giggle and so does she, your fingers interlocking where they hang before you lift them up, looking up sweetly through your lashes to kiss the ring on her knuckle. she shouldn’t get a shiver up her spine from that, because it was pretty innocent— but she was having some urges all of a sudden. she gently shakes a hand free and cups your cheek. “you uh— missed my mouth.” her voice gets breathy towards the end of the sentence as she closes in, pressing her lips to yours.

[inf3ct3dd]

ellie headcanons pt.5!!!

warnings: nada

content: loser!ellie x reader headcanons

authors note : ellie dug a hole into my skull and moved in

⁃ against bags for no reason. like her pockets are constantly full of things. random receipts, money, headphones, EVERYTHING. she takes her pants of and they jingle cuz they're filled with COINS.

⁃ knows how to do a back bridge and just HAS to let everyone know. you're watching tv and she's just on the floor like "look"

⁃ i feel like shes the type of person to just start fully eating an orange in the middle of class. like ur listening to the teacher talk and you're just hit by the most aggressive wave of CITRUS from behind you

⁃ constantly fighting the air... like she's just in the kitchen punching and kicking at NOTHING just because. she's always coming up to you and like take punching you and doing her own sound effects like “PWAH PWAH WAM WAPOW"

⁃ jar hoarder 😞😞 every time you buy anything that comes in a jar she's keeping it. literally won't let you throw them away!!! you guys don't even have cups anymore, its just jars and mugs.

⁃ speaking of mugs, ellie has just as many stupid mugs as she does stupid tshirts. absolutely has a lot of garfield mugs be she LOVES GARFEILD

- would buy a dry-erase board for your fridge and leave u little notes and drawings

⁃ "Every single time I see you, I become horny like a triceratops" with a little drawing of a triceratops"

⁃ breaks into incoherent ramblings when shes sleepy... like insane hypotheticals

"what if our bed just completely exploded right now"

⁃ whenever ur on facetime and it gets quiet she just breaks out into song. not even like good, trying singing but BAD SINGING.

⁃ she does that whenever it's quiet !!!

⁃ is listening to music CONSTANTLY. her headphones are actually attached to her ears like all DAY she's listening to something.

⁃ HATES THE BIG LIGHT (iykyk) she lives for low/ natural lighting definitely has so many lamps and led lights

⁃ can never sit normal.... like she is not beating the gay ppl sitting weird allegations she sits so ODD

⁃ will spend literal hours in the pool. doing flips, pretending to be a mermaid, 'making up' her own tricks, she lives for it & !!!

⁃ refuses to dress right for the weather. it'll be like 90° outside and shes in a whole hoodie and jeans.

⁃ has the WEIRDEST subway order. probably puts banana peppers on her shit 😭😭 she swears its the best thing ever

⁃ love's campy comedy movies, esp lesbian ones and horror movies (but im a cheerleader, bottoms, scary movie, etc) also def loves coming of age movies

⁃ has a letterbox account and makes extremely thought provoking reviews

literally her

⁃ always taking candids of you, and they're literally her favorite pictures

⁃ every time she sees two things next to eachother she's like "oh my god it's literally us!!"

⁃ one time she crashed her car and it literally fully flipped over and she just crawled out of the trunk and called you like "you would NOT believe what just happened to me."

- absolutely a waffles girl she needs the texture she likes the CRUNCH

⁃ but like she also loves bacon pancakes. like she's obsessed w adventure time and she makes bacon pancakes ALL THE TIME and she sings the song while she makes them

- eats trail mix like all day....she buys the giant jars and you make fun of her cuz she "likes eating nuts"

⁃ the most secret swifty ever. like she refuses to let it be known but she fully sobbed when she listened to folklore for the first time

⁃ obsessed w those baby sensory videos. like she will literally be entertained for hours

⁃ LOVES the lego movies, esp lego batman

⁃ the MOST honest shit talker ever like you'll be like "yeah she's just a really bad person" and she'd be like "she's also like disgustingly hideous...

⁃ her search history isn’t even weird or gross its just…random. like she’s definitely googled “how do cotton candy machines work” before

⁃ family guy enjoyer.....

⁃ her cf story is like insanely long n its filled w random memes she reposts and insane ramblings

taglist!!!! if ur name is crossed i can't tag u :((

@syrenada @dinaissoprettyoml, @kingofmylastkiss @as2rid @greencacty @melissabarrerass @bratydoll @lov3lylotus @forelliesposts @echostinn @f3r4Ifr0gg3r @r3wbeef @leatheredhearts @mousymaven @mina-281@princessguardian444 @calystas-morning-tea @horror-whoree @slutshies @bearieio @mag-mfm @bubs-world @paran0id0blivi0n @sawaagyapong @bbygrIshelbs @gayh0rr0r @p|9ys @ellieslilsIvvt @dollietes @elliesmellsbadd @ibloom4u @ddreabea @beestar120 @brunettedolls-blog @girlwonderchloe @elliesgflol @maris-koffin @emonopolyman @iloveeyousblog @fr3sh-tragedies @ilovaffles @certifedcrybunny @elleatethat @baldph0bic @clouded-whispers @4rt3m1ss @saggykneecaps @swtsuna @ellesslutt @minixmel @yuyans-stuff @owmoiralover @thecowardwrites @lunascerebro @elliestrwbrry @iwantsoda @teeveegirl @dinasmoon @urnewghostfriend @k3ym4ra @bratzboydoll @ungodlyvenus @lav3nd3rhaze @scokslvoer @iloveunrealpeople @realwinehouse @nehemiahlicious @onedeaddreamer @teawithnosugar @r4t1ku5 @villainousbear @mentallymarriedtonatasharomanoff @gay4tiddies @uraesthete @lil-elliesgf @neighborhood-houseplant @sagessensationalstuff

[acowardinmordor]

You Left Me - You Miss Me - 4

Part One - Part Two - Part Three - Part Four

Hi, time for more, arguably making things better, but also arguably making things much worse.

----

There was a diner a block and a half from their apartment. Steve found it when the sky opened up during his jog one morning. Snow, he could have handled, he was dressed for it. Slushy sleet mixed with hail was another matter. He ducked inside to hide until it passed, chatted with the owner for a bit, and brought Robin with him the next day because they had an amazing spread of waffle toppings, including crumbled bacon, and Steve knew she’d go crazy about it.

He was correct, and it was their go to spot, not just for breakfast. 

At the end of January, Rebecca sat down to join them, and handed Steve an application. 

Steve was already working at a JC Penny in the stock room, and picked up a few hours at a roller rink filling in when someone called out. They had enough money to live. Not decadently, but they could cover all their bills, and keep gas in the car, and buy supplies for Robin’s classes.  

“Uh, Rebecca, I’m- thank you? But. My memory sucks, and my hearing isn’t great, and if someone starts getting rude, I’m going to get rude back to them, and --”

“This is a diner, hun,” she stopped him, “You write the orders down, you can always tell someone to say it again, and the fact you can shut down anyone that gives you lip is why I think you’ll be good at it. Like I said, it’s a diner. We don’t have to be all sunshine and daisies here.”

“I’m working at another--”

“Over at the mall and the rink, I know. And I know you’re free Monday through Wednesday mornings. And,” she stressed, “staff gets free meals and first dibs on the day olds.”

“Dingus!" Robin gasped and grabbed his arm. "Do it, do it. Stevie. Please, oh my god, please, you have to take it. You can bring me the brioche buns. And that apple butter. And that thing with the nuts! Steeevveee, don’t you love your soulmate? Please? I cou--”

So Steve took the job, and worked a few mornings a week. By the third week of February, he stopped feeling like he was going to fuck up any second. He understood why Rebecca liked his ability to get bitchy in the face of difficult customers, and he and Robin had cupboards well stocked with random take homes. 

He liked it. Starting at five in the morning took some getting used to, but he was done by one, and traded off with a middle aged mom named Susan after the lunch rush settled down. Was it a ton of money? No. But he got more tips than he expected to, and the brioche really was delicious. 

The last week of February, he was working alone on a Tuesday, at the start of the lunch rush, expecting Susan to arrive soon, and an easy day. 

“Be with you in a minute,” he called to whoever just came inside, bussing half a dozen empty plates from table two after dropping off more creamer at table four. He looped back, ducking behind the counter to put the plates on the pass through for Nick to grab. 

He dropped the entire stack before he got there.

His hands clenched down, his muscles locked, and even though it should have made him hold harder, everything slipped, and either shattered on the tiles or banged into his feet.

Jim Hopper winced from his seat at the counter. “Sorry, kid.”

The couple of other diners glanced up to check on him, and John looked around the window from the kitchen. Steve didn’t move. Couldn't. Could barely breathe.

“Is it back?”

“No.”

His exhale shook out of him before he shoved down the panic.

“Then whatever this is can wait.” 

“I’m just here to talk.”

“And I said it can wait.”

He swept up the broken dishes, shrugged off John’s silent offer to throw Hopper out, and reminded himself there was no reason to think that the Upside Down was back. That meant this was going to be more awkward and less dangerous, and he was going to hate it, but it was still the better version of the day. 

“What’ll you have?” 

“Kid, I’m here to talk cause I didn’t think you’d want me at your place.”

“And I’m at work, and this is a diner, so what’ll you have?”

“Steve--”

“I’ll bring you coffee. I’m not talking about this while I’m working.”

“Coffee’s good. When are you off?”

Steve gave his bitchiest smile, didn’t answer, and went to seat the couple that just walked in. 

The lunch rush was a mercy. Susan handled Hopper, and gave him the iciest service anyone had ever gotten under that roof. Hopper took it gracefully, but he didn’t shift, or push, or give any indication that he wasn’t willing to sit there til midnight if he had to. 

Normally, Steve would get some lunch to go and head home. If the weather was bad, he ate at the booth in the corner to wait it out. With the way his stomach was twisting, unable to separate Hopper from what his arrival could mean, he wasn’t going to keep food down. He filled a glass of water, then silently gestured Hop to follow. 

“Good to see you, Steve,” he said when they sat. “You and Robin doing okay up here?”

“We’re fine. Why are you here? If it isn’t something to do with, you know, then why are you here?”

“Maybe I just came up to check on you.”

“Did you?” Steve snorted into his drink when that question made Hopper’s face twist up. “So what is this?”

“I am here to check on you. There’s something else, but I came here because I’m checking on you. Me and you weren’t all that close, but you had Mrs Buckley give me your info so I’d know where you were.”

“Yeah, in case of an emergency. And you said there wasn’t any emergency. Plus, you had my phone number, so you could have called, which would be way less weird than showing up while I’m at work, you know?”

Hopper scratched at his cheek. “It’s not an emergency compared to all the reasons you wanted me to be able to find you, but if you ask those kids, this may as well be the end of the world again.”

Steve rolled his eyes. “Yeah, right.”

“Yeah, well. Henderson is gonna get himself arrested if he keeps trying to steal the mail and find something addressed to you. Max keeps pushing El to try and find you. The only reason they haven’t gone completely crazy is because of the Buckleys telling them that you’re fine. She gave me your address and number, and she talked for a little bit about the kids.” 

Steve smiled at that. Mrs Buckley had never talked a ‘little bit’ about anything in her life. Either she was holding the line on being rude to anyone that might bother them, or Hop was pretending he hadn’t listened to a solid hour of rambling.  

“Still haven’t told me why you’re here.”

“Want to ask if I can -- shit, I don’t know. I can route mail back and forth so they never have your address or something. I’d rather give them your info so I don’t have to be involved, but I already know you won’t agree to that.”

Steve ignored the pause that Hopper left there. Conversation and good manners said he should concede to something so he wouldn’t inconvenience the man too much. The last month with Robin supporting his choice kept his mouth shut. She’d be pissed at him if he folded, and worse, she’d help him get through all the pain it caused if he did talk to the kids again. Then he’d feel guilty and sad. 

“Alright,” Hopper grumbled, “Didn’t think you would, but you know how those kids can be. Can’t fault me for trying.”

“So, we’re done? You sat here all this time just to talk for three minutes?”

“Almost.” 

“So….” At least Steve could enjoy the fact that neither of them were enjoying this.  Hopper winced a bit before he spoke. 

“I didn’t tell any of the kids I was coming up to see you. None of them knew, and none of them are gonna know. Didn’t even tell Joyce why, just that I was driving up to Indy. Already had a plan in case they tried to tail me up here. So, had a surprise this morning when I got to my truck. it might change your answer.”

“Didn’t know you were so dramatic about stuff.”

“Side effect of two hours with that surprise, I guess. Eddie Munson came up with me.”

Any of the kids would have hurt. 

Henderson might have made him cry. 

Eddie Munson? That didn’t make sense. 

They weren’t friends, never had been. The Upside Down meant they were connected, but they were never more than acquaintances, even when Steve was desperately trying to keep them all close. Sure, he’d taken over as the chauffeur for the kids, and everyone’s new best friend, but that didn’t explain why he’d bother to come up to talk to Steve. 

“What the hell? Why?”

“He asked.”

“And you said yes.”

“He said please.”

That was not the whole story. There was something getting skipped over, left out. Hopper tolerated Munson, but he wouldn’t do him a favor if there wasn’t some kind of monster involved. 

“Wait, you’ve been here for two hours.”

“Yep.”

“Did you just leave him in your truck this whole time? That front came through overnight. The high is thirty four today.”

“Yeah, I did,” Hopper said flatly. “He told me he wanted to come up so he could talk to you. Told me a little bit about why. And I said yes and I let him come, but I told him that I was gonna talk to you first. If you said no, he was gonna stay in that seat clear back to Hawkins, and keep his mouth shut about this whole thing.”

“How’d he know what you were doing?”

“No clue.”

“What does he want to talk about?”

“Not gonna say it for him.” Hopper shifted towards the edge of the booth. “So, want me to tell him to buckle back up, or tell him to get his ass in here?”

A quick consult with the imaginary Robin in his head left him just as confused, but curious as hell. He agreed, and fidgeted with a napkin, struggling to think of any reason why Eddie Munson would want to talk to him, or what the hell he said that the kids hadn’t that convinced Hopper to drive him up. 

Stuck in his head, Steve jumped when a mess of a man in denim and leather slid shivering into the seat opposite. The scars on his face and hands were less vivid than they were last time they saw each other, but they still worked as a thermometer. Steve's did the same.

“Why the hell were you sitting in the cold, man?”

Eddie blinked, and froze where he was rubbing his hands together trying to get feeling back. “Hopper took the keys.”

Steve’s turn to blink. This was the guy taking care of his kids. 

“Susan?” He called, gesturing for two when she lifted the coffee carafe in a question.

“You don’t need to do that.”

“Dude, I don’t know what the hell you’re doing here or why you care or what the hell is happening, but I’m not gonna let you sit there shaking cause you’re a dumbass who doesn’t know what gloves are.”

Steve watched packet after packet of sugar pour into Eddie’s, while he stirred a splash of half and half into his own cup. Eddie took a gulp, hissed at the heat, and clutched at the mug, eyes glued to the nicked surface of the table. 

“I’m sorry.”

“For rotting your teeth out? That’s your choice, Munson.”

“No,” Eddie insisted, voice hoarse, “I’m sorry about the kids.”

Steve took a breath, took a sip, took another breath. “Look, man, that’s not on you. You play D&D with them, and you like all their nerdy shit. I was -- They grew up. We got through everything, all of that, we won, and they grew up. It’s not your fault that they like you more than they liked me. So, thanks, I guess, but--”

“Steve. No. They didn’t. They -- those kids did not suddenly grow up and decide they didn’t like you anymore. You are their favorite person anywhere, ever, you will be for the rest of eternity, and they don’t understand why no one will tell them how to reach you. They put on a really good show about being mad about it, but, come on, you know what they’re like. They want to apologize cause they know they hurt you, and they want to fix it, and just, you gotta let them try, Steve. You gotta let them talk to you. They miss you so fucking much.”

“Look, I know how they get, and I know how dramatic they are, but it’s still not your fault--”

“It is. Steve. It is my fault. That’s - That’s why you have to talk to them. Cause they didn’t grow up and get over you or decide they didn’t care about you. Those kids are crazy about you, and they never stopped, and they’re hurt right now cause they don’t understand why you left them, and you gotta fix it with them, please.”

Something pinged weird in his ear when he heard the way Munson’s voice cracked. Not just worry, not just helping, not just caring about the kids. Guilt. He was taking the blame for it, even though that didn’t make any sense. The kids were - brats, gremlins, terrors, the most stubborn people he’d ever met, and he knew Nancy Wheeler. If they wanted to be around him, they would be around him. 

It wasn’t Eddie’s fault, or anyone’s fault. It hurt like hell, and Steve wished it wasn’t true, but this was just life. Kids grew up, their interests moved. Friendships changed and ended. 

But that crack of guilt…

“How is it your fault and not theirs that they stopped wanting to ever see me?”

Eddie’s hands stopped shaking from the cold before he got the coffee. 

His hands were shaking again.

Trembled in the time between Steve asking, and Eddie managing to respond.  

“I, uh, I asked them to.”

----

Don't be too mad at him yet. He has a lot more to say.

Part Five >>>

[satellitespinner]

dogtooth ; roommate!ellabs

˗ˏˋcollab with my beautiful angel @williamssgirl ´ˎ˗

- inspired by @beforeimdeceased “chaotic roomates” series ! please go support theirs!

reminder !! do not support neil or any of his work !

wc: 2.1k | her ver

⁃ roomate!ellabs who were bsfs w u before and when you needed a place to stay they happily invited you to join them on their lease !

⁃ cooking with them is... chaotic. but some days it was good!

⁃ bumping ur hip with ellie because she sucks and she gets all blushy and flustered

⁃ abby gently grabbing ur hips to get around you

⁃ taking .5s of them ALL THE TIME!! they hate it but you love it

⁃ they have no idea how to use the ring camera you installed, one day they've locked themselves out and are begging you to let them in

⁃ "open the door it's cold out ©" "let us in.... babeeee

⁃ falling asleep while watching a movie like a literal dogpile

⁃ while beforehand yall were arguing for twenty minutes on what movie to watch because you and abby wanted to watch scream and ellie can't handle horror for the LIFE of her

⁃ (so you eventually settle on a romcom)

⁃ abby and ellie playing video games and ur sorta just sitting there staring at their hands watching them play

⁃ "did u win?" "no i died."

⁃ when you do end up playing a game with them it's usually fortnite

⁃ abby is so gentle with you and helping you through the game

⁃ "good job babe!" "show me those bike skills" "want the sniper? i know you said you like those"

⁃ however with ellie....

⁃ "BABE BABE BABE KILL HIM SHOOT HIM SHOOT SHOOT SHOOT" "FUCK HE HAS TO BE A FUCKING
BOT THERES NO WAY" "FUCK YEAH I GOT HIM TAKE THAT"

⁃ ellie putting her hands on urs on the controller when their first teaching you how to play and whenever she gets touchy <3

⁃ sitting on their laps while they play...

⁃ sleepover with them go NUTS

⁃ ellie buys SO MUCH SOUR CANDY

⁃ abby fucking HATES sour candy and you and ellie are trying to trick her into having a warhead

⁃ "no im not putting that vile shit in my mouth" "abby it's literally so sweet trust me" "no eat it it's just candy" "just try!

⁃ pouting to get ur way and she gives in (and immediately spits it out)

⁃ pouting to get ur way works with her no matter what

⁃ abby would be a personal trainer and also work somewhere in analytics

⁃ ellie would be a mechanic and livestream for a living (she acts like it's no big deal but she's gained a surprisingly large following)

⁃ reader owns a bakery that's also a flower shop and always brings in spare treats for them to have!

⁃ "guys i got doughnuts for you!"

⁃ you buy them flowers all !! the !! time !! and you assign really specific meanings to them

⁃ "so the poppy means... and the tulip with the poppy means..."

⁃ they're pretending to listen... (they are listening so intently)

⁃ them ganging up to tickle u at least once a day (you act like you despise it but in reality your devouring it)

⁃ FORCING THEM TO MAKE TIKTOKS WITH YOU

⁃ abby's texting you "Babe wdym I have to take a quiz on what aura I have." "can u just do it?"

⁃ omfg and forcing abby to get tiktok because she refused to get it for so long only for her to be on it more than you

⁃ getting into an argument with one of them is certainly something!

⁃ ur refusing to talk to ellie and ur communicating to her through abby (ellie is speaking to you directly and you are staring at abby "abby tell ellie im not speaking to her rn" and ur being DEAD serious... they're laughing their asses off

⁃ kissing abby in front of ellie to make her jealous when ur fighting

⁃ and whenever ellie and abby are fighting you straight up ignore them until they come to their senses and apologise

⁃ matching tattoos! you have a sun, abby has a moon and ellie has the stars V

⁃ uno and they both have extra cards under the table

⁃ "are you guys cheating" "OH MY GOD NO OF COURSE NOT-" "HOW COULD YOU EVEN SUGGEST THAT?!" "WHAT DO YOU MEAN?" "WE WOULD NEVER DO THAT TO YOU A GAMES A GAME"

⁃ ellie standing up to get water and you yell at her

⁃ abby and ellie pull pranks on eachother all the time!

⁃ and you are constantly getting caught in the middle of it

⁃ and one time you contribute and both of them are arguing on who did what prank having zero clue it was you

⁃ and ur just giggling off to the side

⁃ the two would have such bad jealousy issues

⁃ like they see u GLANCE at another girl and they're dragging you home

⁃ and then they go "we aren't even jealous people! she was practically eye fucking you. that's why we left!"

⁃ like girl she had a whole bf

⁃ imagine covering them in lipstick kissed and taking a picture...

⁃ making them do the lipstick trend

⁃ OR the nail polish eye colour trend!

⁃ u having a hard day and they're RUSHING to comfort you

⁃ girls were STRESSEDDDD like ellie's holding you while abby's rushing to get the bath filled up

⁃ "stupid fucking bathtub isn't filling up!!! hurry up!!!!!" and now they're more stressed than you fo

⁃ the nicknames.

⁃ ellie's pretty basic with it. calling you babe, baby, honey, pretty girl, etc.

⁃ but with abby she likes to be unique with it. calling you princess, darling, etc.

⁃ and u reversing the nicknames on them...

⁃ talking to abby and she's helping u w something and u go "thanks princess!" then kiss her on the cheek like nothing happened

⁃ "she's like "tf??"

⁃ but with ellie she's chasing you around the house and pinning you down till you say she's daddy

⁃ how rewardina it is for them when ther see u aet allblushy and stuff

⁃ they would feel so cocky and proud of the themselves

⁃ abby sending you playlists and ellie showing you drawings

⁃ and the gifts they would get u ! like gift giving isn't their love language but they wanna spoil you

⁃ "oo i like that shirt" abby's already ordered it. in every colour.

⁃ like you sneak a peek at a bracelet and now it's ellie's job to keep you distracted while abby runs in and buys it

⁃ sleeping w a stuffy and being so tired and giving it a kiss on the cheek and bestfriend!ellie is all like

⁃ "where's mine"

⁃ she gets jealous with the amount of plushies u sleep with
"she's the typa girl to joke "hey mamas where's my kiss" after u get home from work and ur just staring at her like
with flour all over you from a failed
recipe

⁃ "no? okay sorry babe"

⁃ goodcop!abby badcop!ellie when u do something bad!

⁃ "babe.... just tell me where u hid my keys and all will be good" "ALL RIGHT LISTEN UP WOMAN..."

⁃ then they end up finding the keys under the couch

⁃ but u lowk hid them there cause you didn't want them to leave..

⁃ abby had a snapchat hey mamas phase and ellie was there to see it

⁃ AND ellie uses it as blackmail in the go

⁃ abby: "Ellie you're so dumb how could you get the directions wrong." "wanna see a magic trick."

⁃ abby backtracks so fast in hopes it'll save her from her fate (it doesn't).

⁃ "and that's the end of my magic show! thank u and goodnight "then ellie disappears because she knows abby will beat her ass

⁃ they have pictures of you in a gallery and you don't know about it

⁃ "is this me sleeping?" "gimme my fuckin phone back-" "you ain't seen NOTHING"

⁃ you would take so many pics of urself on their phones!

⁃ like at dinner and you've managed to sneak one of their phone's under the table and are taking silly selfies

⁃ and you take videos of them snatching their phones back

⁃ the screen is all black and all you can hear is rustling and the faint sound of ellie whining "babe my storageeee" and abby's just laughing

⁃ flipping them off by accident in a photo (both me and aria are victims to this)

⁃ you mean to do 🤘 or 👍 but instead do 🖕

⁃ ellie's feigning hurt and abby's laughing so hard

⁃ abby uses "🤣" and "LOL" but then ellie uses "😭" and "LMAO"

⁃ abby is so literal with her texting

⁃ She types like this. Always uses proper grammar no matter what.

⁃ and ellie... ELLEI TWXTS LIKE THIS

⁃ "babky were is tje Irnon" "ALL CAPS NO PUNCTUSLYIK PJNCTISNTILN"

⁃ ur the only person who can translate ellie's awful texting so you'll occasionally get texts from joel saying stuff like "Kiddo do you know what she was tryna say here?"

⁃ ellie is dyslexic

⁃ and a professional yapper which is why she likes streaming so much

⁃ abby fights the urge to tell her to shut the fuck up

⁃ and sometimes after like a really hard day at work all you wanna do is relax and they just let you

⁃ sending them paragraphs about how much you love them just out of the blue

⁃ ellie's like "??? ru gonna kys"

⁃ abby leaves you on read and smothers you when she's home

⁃ abby chronically leaves people on read

⁃ ellie greets you by slapping or pinching ur ass and abby greets you by giving you a kiss on the side of your face ellie also pretends to fuck you from the back whenever you bend down to pick something up

⁃ the amount of facetimes when you didn't live with them! and the amount you get when your on some sort of work trip

⁃ falling asleep on call and them taking secret screenshots and texting eachother in fear of waking you up

⁃ facetiming you on abby's macbook

⁃ abby uses apple and ellie uses a microsoft laptop

⁃ when ur on a work trip and they're harassing you to call

⁃ "i'm in a meeting" "answer facetime"

⁃ "gimme 5" "5...4...3.2.."

⁃ nobody's home except you and you burn yourself cooking

⁃ they are be RUSHINGGG home

⁃ "guys it's fine i literally barley did anything" "YOUR GONNA DIE"

⁃ "ARE TOU OKAY?!?" "i am literally fine"

⁃ omg the day they actually pay attention to work and your at home and they don’t have a lot of time for you is the day you die

⁃ "i'm in a meeting what's up" "im dynggg.... come back......... zhellipppppp....

⁃ and then you get all bratty and needy

⁃ "come home or i'm gonna fall ill' "YOURE GONNS

⁃ FALL ILL??"

⁃ sitting in abby's lap while she's working from home

⁃ <3

⁃ she's sitting on her chair and ur straddling her with ur face in her shoulder

⁃ biting her arm randomly and she's like "ow wtf?!"

⁃ " biting her for the first time and she's like "?!" girl was alarmed... "are you going feral what is up with you"

⁃ eventually she just gets used to it at some point

⁃ zero reaction to you biting her now

⁃ they go to the gym without you and send gym selfies

⁃ abby LOVESSS to flex

⁃ she'll never admit it but this girl is trying so hard to excentuate her muscles around u

⁃ throws you over her shoulder effortlessly

⁃ annoying her and going "watcha gonna do abby? kidnap me?" and she, in fact, does.

⁃ "let me go!" and she just pats ur ass

⁃ and ellie's always wearing shirts that show her arms off

⁃ making them kiss LOOOLLL

⁃ "awh i think we need a ship name now!" "SHUT UP"

⁃ forcing them to talk to eachother by ignoring them and then they have to talk to eachother on wether or not ur pissed at them or if ur just not in the mood to talk

⁃ them fighting over everything including you

⁃ but or not official with either of them and could go flirt around if u wanted

⁃ them showing up at whatever place u have a date at or something and trolling the poor girl ur out with and then angry dragging u home

⁃ they get SO possessive

⁃ ellie listens to boygenius and you had to beg abby to listen to them and now she loves them

⁃ ellie's got 21 savage, the weeknd, drake, tyler the creator, the neighborhood, chase atlantic, etc on her playlists

⁃ her and abby have similar music tastes with distinct differences

⁃ like abby listens to tyler the creator as well, chase atlantic, HOZIER, frank sinantra, frank ocean.

⁃ all of you love phoebe, mac miller, lorde and childish gambino!

⁃ and you LOVE kali uchis. ur the lalalala to their okokok

⁃ you discovered her when she released telapatia and have been obsessed ever since

⁃ both abby and ellie had a girl in red phase...

⁃ sleeping together in abby's bed bc hers is the biggest

⁃ ur favourite mornings are ones when you can't even get up and out of bed because abby's spooning you and ellie's arm is hung loosely over ur waist

⁃ your situated in the middle with abby on ur right and ellie on ur left

⁃ waking them up with breakfast!
"abby waking up to smelling some delicious food and hugging you from behind with her eyes closed and neck shoved into ur shoulder "smells s' good baby... wanted to spoil us even more after last night huh?" in their raspy morning voice

⁃ all ur in is an oversized tee and some white bow cotton panties (it's one of abby's post workout shirts)

⁃ the only dirt abby has on ellie is the amount of foul photos she has of her sleeping

⁃ ellie drools AND snores

⁃ latching on to you for dear life

⁃ ur shoving the pillow over ur ears in hopes she'll stfu

⁃ and she NEVER does

⁃ sleeping skin to skin with them :)

⁃ "take of your clothes" "why? you wanna..?" "no i just wanna feel u... is that okay?"

⁃ abby has soft skin and ellie has a bunch of random bruises and scars

⁃ abby and ellie are genuinely head over heels for u in all seriousness

⁃ even if they don't like eachother they cope with it for you!

⁃ smooching one of them really hard and like forcing the "MMMMWAH" sound

⁃ ellie has a main insta with zero posts and a spam with 827

⁃ abby has three accounts, one for gains, her main & her stalker (for ur safety obviously)

⁃ meanwhile u just have a main which u post on all the time and a private that nobody knows about for stalking

⁃ ellie shit posts "lol" and it's a photo of a rat smoking a cigarette

⁃ and those stupid memes

⁃ (image)

⁃ sent to abby cause you made a joke about her being breedable in bed 😭

⁃ nsfw!

⁃ ANGRY MAKEUP SEX.

⁃ ellie kisses ur tummy before she eats it

⁃ and abby puts her forearm on ur lower stomach and applies pressure

⁃ abby calls u good girl

⁃ abby comforting you when ellie's going just a little bit too aggressively and manhandling you

[hazshit-hotel-hater]

I’m gonna be honest I don’t understand how people can be hazbin hotel fans and just know everything vivziepop has done and dont care or they choose to pretend they dont know so they dont have to feel guilty about it. Shocking news, you can be INCREDIBLY critical of media you enjoy parts of. I enjoy parts of this show but I’m not going to go buy shit to watch it and support some random lady using a closed religion to make her tumblr sexyman character look “scary”.

I saw someone say vivziepop misgendering someone (allegedly on accident) after getting mad, was a “nothing sandwich” which 1. No the fuck it aint. And also 2. Are you actually off your rocker nuts. I don’t give a fuck if it was an accident heat of the moment thing. Sure you can apologise for that, not me who you misgendered so I cant accept it, but misgendering anyone is never a “nothing sandwich”. Same guy also said that vivzie demonising and appropriating vodou was okay because “Alastor can do it” That… doesn’t fucking matter? VIVZIE can’t practice vodou and neither can her weird red suited deer man, sorry to burst your bubble.

I think everyone thats scrolled even a few inches on my blog (cause really thats all I have) can tell I like Angel Dust. Lots of people like Angel Dust. But apparently half of those people can’t comprehend you can dislike aspects of a character while liking other ones. I mean this directed toward fans by the way. Id sure as hell prefer if he wasn’t fucking fetishised for being a gay man but its vivziepop so literally what can I expect from the lady that makes merch glorifying his abuse. “Yes vivzie! Id love to purchase merch of a traumatic situation ive also been in! Thank you so much for making it look pretty!” I will literally eat glass and drink battery acid before any of this shit actually comes outta my mouth.

It’s so fucking weird how her spin-off show has better representation, humour, writing, and more than her actual main show. Im super glad Helluva Boss is good. Im glad there isn’t any stupid racist representations in there or overly fetishised gay men. Fizzaroli and Ozzie are a cute couple thats written very nicely but even they have elements of vivziepops unsavoury interests that you can see sometimes, but oh my god. Put some of that care into your MAIN show. I am holding out so much hope that vivzie continues the good writing of episodes 7 & 8 so much I am not going to stop noting that, but I am also fully ready to crash and burn from those hopes and that is so fucking disappointing.

[moralesmilesanhour]

'cold turkey' but i rewrote it - part two!

summary: the festivities have begun! but you forgot the drinks. whoops. wc: 2k+ a/n: I almost cut this short at like a thousand words but I knew in my SPIRIIITT that I wanted to add more twists and turns to this thing. It's a bit rushed but let's just say I'm very glad I did! if you feel like it: comment your favorite holiday-related dishes :) part one part two

“Traffic was nuts today,” your older sister Alanna sighed as she hauled a carton full of cans of soda over to the kitchen. She looked up and saw Miles, who smiled and gave her a quick wave. “Oh my god, Miles?”

“One and only,” he replied. “Been a minute, ain’t it?”

The woman set the carton down on the floor. “When did you get so big? You're taller than me!”

Miles shrugged. “Growth spurt.”

“Alright then, nice seeing you,” Alanna turned and joined you on the couch with that glint in her eye and smirk that appeared only when she was scheming. “He’s mad cute now, right?”

You rolled your eyes and sighed, “ ‘Lana, no. Not happening.”

“Come on, I’ve seen the niggas you been with and he’s literally your type–”

“Can you lower your voice? He’s right there!” you yell-whispered. 

You craned your neck to see if Miles was listening. His head was down, all focus seemingly directed towards cooking beans. 

You turned back towards Alanna. “Anyway, he’s Jeff’s kid. I don’t want beef with Jeff or his mama if we break up. They literally live around the corner, do you know how awkward that’s gonna be?”

“So pessimistic,” Alanna’s lips were upturned into a pout. “How you just met him and you already imagining the breakup?”

“I’m being realisti–”

“The beans are done!” Miles’ voice interrupted. 

You called out, “That’s great, thank you so much! I’ll see you later this evening?”

He emerged from the kitchen and began to put on his sneakers. “Yup, lookin’ forward to it,” he stood up and made direct eye contact with you as he smiled. “Good luck with med school.”

With that, Miles grabbed his jacket off of the hook by the entrance, and left.

Your sister watched the door shut behind him with a satisfied grin. “He likes you.”

“No he don’t,” you retorted, keeping your eyes glued to your socks. “You want him to like me.”

The image of fluttering lashes and the scar on his cheek returned to you. How Alanna could tell even without her knowing about that little encounter was a mystery.

“Well, either way, do what you want,” she rose from the couch with a sigh of resignation. “I’m just saying he seems sweet. Now, help me decorate, and I’ll let you make the playlist after.”

You perked up at the thought of having DJ privileges and hopped to your feet. “You got it!”

-

Only half an hour had passed since relatives and family friends began trickling in, but you were already exhausted. One more inescapable hug and barrage of questioning, and you swore you’d have a breakdown. 

Ding dong!

“I’ll get it!” you announced, narrowly escaping being accosted by one of your aunts as you made a beeline for the door.

It was Miles again, this time with company.

“Welcome back,” you greeted Miles and stepped back to open the door wider. “Hey Mr. and Mrs. Morales!”

“Y/N! It’s been so long, tú eres tan guapa!” Rio Morales briefly took both of your hands in hers before entering, tugging Miles along with her.

Jefferson Morales was the last to go inside. His warm smile was a stark contrast to his wide, imposing frame. “I see Miles didn’t burn your kitchen down,” he laughed heartily. “He wasn’t too much trouble?”

Not in the way you were expecting.

You shook her head politely, “No, not at all! He even helped me finish dinner.”

Jefferson’s eyebrows shot up in surprise. “Well, that’s good to hear. We really appreciate the invite.”

“No problem,” you nodded as you shut the door.

“Y/N!” Alanna rushed up to you not a moment later, looking mildly panicked. “Do you remember where you put the drinks? The alcoholic ones, I mean.”

Your eyes widened. “Fuck, I think I forgot to buy them.”

“...Now, your mother was going to nursing school at the time, so she had to…”

Jefferson’s deep voice carried over the music, catching Alanna’s attention. He stood near the tin of mac and cheese telling a story that–judging by the look on Miles’ face–he had told several times before.

That same smirk from before spread across her lips. ‘Do what you want’, sure, but a little helpful push wouldn’t hurt.

“Miles, do you wanna help out Y/N again? She forgot to go out and buy drinks.”

He perked up, relief written all over his face. “Yeah, it’s no problem! I’ll drive her.”

You narrowed your eyes at your sister, but didn’t push back. “That’s cool with me. I’ll go get my sweater.”

-

You squeezed your fingers nervously as Miles turned the key and brought the car roaring to life. 

What could you possibly say to him? ‘Hey, so we almost kissed earlier. Thoughts on that?’ 

“What kinda drinks y’all need?” his voice ripped you away from your thoughts as he pulled onto the road. 

You didn’t answer, your eyes fixated on the motion of his hands spinning the wheel.

“Y/N?”

You blinked.

“Huh?”

“What kind of drinks are we looking for?”

“Oh, um, wine and cider and shit,” you waved a hand in the air, “Stuff that goes with turkey.”

“Cool.”

The ride was quiet, largely because you were busy racking your brain trying to think of something–anything–to fill the silence with. You’d already asked about school, and you knew Miles’ parents. But what about him?

He stopped at a red light, drumming his fingers on the wheel.

“So what do you do, like, outside of school?”

You winced. Small talk was not your forte.

Miles didn’t seem to mind though, appearing deep in thought before he answered, “I draw, when I got the time. Sing a little on the side.”

“I believe you. You look like you have a nice voice.”

An impish smile played on his lips. “Is that your way of saying I’m cute?”

“I…” the words were trapped in your throat. Part of you didn’t want to tell him the truth outright, but he was smiling at you and the sparkle in his eyes made you feel funny. 

“Maybe. Don’t get your hopes up, though.”

He raised an eyebrow. “So there’s a low, but non-zero chance.”

You snorted, “Alright, physics major. The light’s green.”

“Oh, shit. Thanks.” Miles focused his attention back onto the road and continued driving.

You didn’t say anything more for the remainder of the ride, but he caught you staring at him every now and then through the rear view mirror, curiosity written on your face.

Soon enough, he pulled over in front of the supermarket.

“Think you’ll find ‘stuff that goes with turkey’ in here?”

“I hope so,” you laughed, unbuckling your seat belt, “My sister’s gonna put me in the dirt if I don’t.”

“Well, good luck!”

Miles unlocked the door, and you set out on your mission.

Luckily, it only took you about twenty minutes to locate a bottle of moscato and some hard apple cider. Just as he saw you emerge from the double doors, though, a familiar buzzing in the back of his head tipped him off.

Really? On Thanksgiving?

A man wearing an inconspicuous black ski mask and hoodie stood waiting by the entrance, ready to strike. 

“Yo, empty your pocke–”

Miles swung into action the moment he spotted the gleam of a firearm.

You yelped as a string of white web shot out from seemingly nowhere and yanked the gun from your assailant’s hands. 

“It’s the holidays! C’mon, man!” 

“Spider-Man?” Your jaw dropped at the sight of the masked hero. 

He was perched on top of a low building right next to the supermarket, only his white eyes and the bright red streaks lining his suit visible in the pitch-black of night.

“At your service, ma’am!” 

With a quick salute, he was gone as suddenly as he’d appeared. Like, literally gone. You didn’t see him leave.

You let out a deep exhale and made your way back to Miles’ car, but you couldn’t see him in the window. A pit began to form in your stomach, until a voice made you jump.

“Hey, you alright?”

It was Miles, who had somehow appeared at your side without a sound. He was out of breath, leaning his elbow on the side of the vehicle for support.

Your eyes narrowed. “I’m…fine. Are you okay? Where’d you go?”

“Bathroom,” he lied. He pointed towards the bags you were holding. “Need help with those?”

You handed them over without a second thought. “Definitely. You know this nigga almost robbed me outside the store just now? Then, right as he’s about to pull a gun on me, guess who shows up?”

Miles grinned knowingly. “Spider-Man?”

“Showed up quick as hell! Even on Thanksgiving, can you imagine?”

“Crazy.”

He opened the door to the passenger’s side for you to get in. 

“Thanks.”

Miles did a slight bow, allowing you to catch a flash of red and black peeking out from beneath his jacket. You had assumed that he was wearing a turtleneck at first, but upon closer inspection–

“At your service,” he said with a grin before making his way over to the driver’s seat.

As you shut the door, Spider-Man’s voice returned to you.

At your service, ma’am.

The rest of the way home, you replayed both sentences in your head, alternating between the two and replaying the night’s events.

Miles had just so happened to reappear mere seconds after Spider-Man had said the words. They even shared an accent. You considered the absurd possibility for a moment; the police chief’s son being the masked vigilante would make quite the headline, almost poetic in its irony. 

Too poetic.

But just as you were about to let it go, Miles went over a speedbump, causing a jolt that made something begin to slip out from his jacket’s right pocket.

Black, red and white.

You pondered how to broach the subject once he pulled up in front of your house, when a lightbulb went off in your head.

Reaching over to the red button that released your seatbelt, you pressed it halfway, over and over again.

“Miles, I think my seatbelt’s stuck. Help me out?”

Miles removed his own with a click. “Sure, lemme see.”

He leaned over and reached the passenger’s seat with ease. His breath hit the side of your neck as he moved closer, making your heart rate quicken, but you maintained focus.

What mattered was that he was in close quarters. You had to see the suit.

“Got it,” Miles said once he released your not-actually-stuck seatbelt. “You’re free–”

Before he could move any further, you grabbed the collar of his jacket and unzipped it halfway.

“I knew it!”

The look of sheer terror on Miles’ face sealed the deal. Here was Spider-Man, in all of his glory.

“Are you…gonna…tell anyone?” 

His voice was hushed as he spoke. Almost small. You looked into those round, glassy eyes and felt a wave of guilt. 

“I–no, of course not,” you shook your head. “I just…I needed to be sure.”

He relaxed, some of the humor returning to his face. “And now that you’re sure?”

A cheeky grin spread across your lips.

“I guess I should thank you.”

You tugged at his collar one more time and brought his lips crashing against yours.

After getting over the initial surprise, Miles brought a hand up to caress one side of your face and deepen the kiss. Your other hand reached up and brushed the cold metal of one of his stud earrings before you snaked your arm around his neck.

Miles was the first to pull away, zipping his jacket back up.

“I don’t think I can stay in this position for that long,” he smiled. “We gotta get back inside with these drinks.”

You sighed, head still pounding with adrenaline. “You’re right, let’s get outta here.”

By the time you made it up the steps, Alanna was already holding the door open. She gave your face a good once-over and stifled a laugh.

“Did you two have fun on your little adventure?”

You took one of the bags from Miles and held it up like a trophy. “Yup, mission accomplished.”

“That’s not what I meant, baby,” she gestured towards her lips and mouthed “your lip gloss.”

Your eyes widened as she snickered, and let the two of you in. 

“Don’t worry, we’ll fix it in the bathroom. Hurry up!”

A few makeup wipes and a liner touch-up later, you emerged from the bathroom just in time for dinner.

Out of all the chairs strewn about the living room, you ended up seated between Miles and Jefferson. The former kept quiet, save for the occasional joke or wink thrown in your direction. Jefferson kept inquiring about your studies, which would then bounce back to Miles’ studies, which Miles then would somehow deflect back to you. Any and all conversation with Jeff became awkward, considering you had just made out with his son.

The party ending felt like a weight lifted off of your shoulders.

You stood at the entrance, waving goodbye to the steady stream of guests as their conversations stretched on, even from their cars. The Morales family were the last to leave.

After his parents went down the steps, Miles stopped in front of the door.

“Hey,” he smiled and tilted his head.

“Hey. You ready to go? I’m not letting you stay the night,” you teased.

“Wasn’t planning to, I promise. I just wanted to ask…” 

He shoved his hands into his pockets. “When are you goin’ back to campus?”

“Monday.”

Miles winced, “Damn.”

“I know, I literally gotta start packing to-night! It’s a nightmare!”

“In that case,” he took out his phone, and held it out to you gingerly. “Can we keep in touch?”

You accepted the offer, rapidly entering your digits and saving them under your name. “Worried about me spilling your secret identity?”

“Absolutely. I gotta keep an eye on you from now on. Like witness protection, but backwards–”

“Miles, vamos!” Rio called out from a distance.

“I’m coming, mami!” he replied before turning back to you. “See you winter break?”

You planted a kiss on his cheek. “Maybe. Non-zero chance.”

"I'll take it."

[sansfangirl24]

Ccino: Nightmare, NIGHTMARE LOCK THE DOOR!

Nightmare: why?

Ccino: its that guy who comes in, tries a sample and then whispers about how bad he- Heyy!

Killer: oh my god! you have chocolate macadamia nut! oh can I just try a little sample? ooh I'm so bad!

Ccino: uhh sure. you gonna buy a cookie this time?

Killer: oh I better just stick with the sample. I'm so bad. but at least I know I'm bad so that makes me a little less bad. or worse..

Ccino: *hits killer with a pan*

Nightmare: that was the right thing to do Ccino.

this was very heavily inspired by @ask-the-cat-cafe

[little-miss-dilf-lover]

If you want, can you please write something like tangerine and reader getting ready for bed together and then going to sleep? I always love to read tangerine fics before sleep so this would be perfect. If not it’s totally fine and thank you anyway!! Also I love your writing sm, definitely someone who’s posts Im always excited to see. 💌

I adore stuff like this!! AAA stop you’re making me blush🥹 thank you so so much! thank you for requesting, hope you like it💌

get ready for bed (tangerine x f!reader)

wc || 0.8k

warnings || none, just fluff & cursing

a/n || idk if it’s a british thing or a family thing, but ‘shouting’ is sometimes used as endearment, so any ‘yelling’ and swearing in this is purely out of love😭

masterlist + rules

taglist

“Oh my god! Come here.” You excitedly call out to your boyfriend.

“One bloody minute, I’m having a piss.” Tangerine replies from the ensuite bathroom. “Yeah?” He runs through to you standing by the bedroom window.

“Did you wash your hands?” Looking him up and down.

“Yeah.” He smiles.

“No, you didn’t. Go wash them.” You instruct, pushing him back into the bathroom.

“Alright, mum.” He groans while reluctantly washing them.

He returns showing you his now clean hands. “Better?”

“Yes, now come here.” You say, pulling his arm so he could be closer. “Look at that.” You point to the sky.

“What am I looking at?” His eyes darting around.

Holding the sides of his head, angling his face so he could see what you see. “The moon, look at it. Ain’t it nuts?” You smile.

“That’s the moon?” His eyes widen. “Fucking hell.”

“I know! And look, there’s Jupiter and there’s Saturn.” You point out on the glass.

“Fuck off! Really?” He says in almost disbelief.

“I know!”

“How do you know that?” He asks, looking to face you.

“Magic.” You smirk. “Bath or shower?” You ask.

“Shower?”

“I want a bath.”

He groans at your request.

“Oh come on, you love them. You know you love the bubbles and candles.” You say almost like you’re trying to bride a child.

The sides of his moustache twitch up as he faintly smiles. “Fine.”

“Be a dear and run it for me, I’ll get some wine and grapes.” Kissing his cheek, rushing downstairs to the kitchen. Collecting two glasses and a chilled bottle from the fridge. Washing a couple bunches of grapes in a bowl before running back up the stairs.

When you enter the bathroom you see Tan’s sweet attempts at decorating. Smiling at his thoughtful actions, looking around the room. Eyes widening at the mirror. He had written ‘I love you’ in lipstick. “Uh- that was a Chanel lipstick.” You chuckle.

“I’ll buy you another one.”

“You’re very sweet.” You say, looking at the candles surrounding the rose petal bubble bath.

“Mi lady.” He jests, extending a hand to help you into the bath.

“Why thank you.” Placing your hand in his.

Shrugging off your dressing gowns, both stepping into the bath. “Fucking hell that’s hot.” He groans. Look at that, a broody contract killer fazed by some hot water.

“You baby.” You tease.

//

You had spent the forty or so minutes chatting and relaxing, helping each other wash before deciding to get out.

Tan got out first, wrapping a towel around his lower half before helping you out of the bath. Drying you off and leading you into the bedroom. Standing in your towels as you search through the dressers.

“Can we wear these?” You ask, holding matching frog pyjama bottoms.

“What about these?” He questions, pointing to another pair of matching pyjama bottoms. They were the ones you got him for Christmas, they were grey with tangerine illustrations printed all over them.

“Yes!” You gush. “Can I borrow this? Thanks.” Picking up one of his t-shirts, not giving him chance to answer. Helping each other dress.

You do your skincare while Tan dries his hair sitting at the edge bed. Once you’re finished, you sit in front of him on the floor, silently asking him to dry yours too. He doesn’t hesitate, gently combing through your hair before drying it.

When he finishes you thank him with a kiss.

Pumping some moisturiser onto your hands, you gently swipe some onto his face, patting around his eyes as you smile at each other.

Walking into the bathroom, rinsing your toothbrushes so that Tan could squeeze some toothpaste onto them. Brushing your teeth together as you mumbled an incoherent conversation.

“I’ll go lock up.” He says with a smile, kissing your forehead.

“Ooh! Get me water, would ya?” You ask cutely before he could get too far.

“Eh? Can’t hear you.” He says halfway down the stairs.

“Water.” You yell out from the bathroom, sitting on the toilet.

Finishing up in the bathroom, washing your hands before jumping into bed.

Snuggling yourself under the covers and kicking your feet under the duvet to warm it up. Your beautiful boyfriend returns with a smile and two bottles of water.

“You did hear me?” You warmly say.

“No? These are mine.” He jokes before throwing a bottle to you.

“Har har.” You sarcastically laugh. “But thank you.” Exhaling after taking a sip.

Tangerine slumps into bed bedside you, pulling you close under the covers. Using the remote he dims the bedside lamps. “You’re so pretty.” He said sweetly.

“Shut up.” You shy away, hiding a grin.

“You are.” Snuggling into you and kissing your forehead.

Rolling yourself over resting your back against his chest, kissing his arm sweetly as he pulls you closer into him.

“Goodnight, I love you.”

“Goodnight, I love you more.” Reaching his head around to kiss your cheek.

“Not possible.” You quietly say, snuggling his arm as you both drift off to sleep.

[roosterforme]

All I Want For Christmas Is You | Rooster x Reader

Summary: Bradley returns from deployment just before Christmas and immediately falls for the new bartender at the Hard Deck.

Warnings: None, just fluff

Length: 3600 words

This fic was written with the song prompt All I Want For Christmas Is You for the Hello December Playlist Challenge which was brought to us by the lovely @notroosterbradshaw

Pairing: Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw x Female Reader

Check out my Masterlist!

Bradley parked his vintage Bronco in the lot at the Hard Deck. He took a deep breath when he saw the colorful lights that twinkled outside his favorite hangout. He had just returned home from a three month deployment, and now it was mid-December and everything was decorated for the holidays.

Christmastime was always a little difficult for him, mostly because he'd been on his own for so long. There was really nobody for him to enjoy the holiday with. 

As he walked into the bar, looking for the other aviators, he noticed a huge Christmas tree in one corner and lights strung along the doorways. "Rooster!" Phoenix cheered, running over to hug him when he arrived. "I missed you so much!" Bradley smiled against his friend's cheek as she squeezed him tight. 

"Missed you too, Nat," he said, and he let her buy him a beer before they joined the other aviators at the pool table. Everyone was happy to see him back, and he was honestly happy to be back. 

After a round of handshakes and fist bumps, he settled into one of the empty stools with his beer and ate the peanuts that Bob had offered him. He hummed along to Frosty the Snowman as it played, giving himself a quick reminder to mail a holiday card to his mom's cousins. 

Then he cocked his head to the side slightly. "Has there always been Christmas music in the jukebox? I don't remember this from last year."

Bob chuckled and shook his head, chewing on some peanuts. "No, the Christmas songs are new, just for this month. Actually, the jukebox got an update when the new bartender started."

"New bartender?" Bradley asked, turning to look back toward the bar, just as All I Want For Christmas Is You started playing. Bradley's jaw went a little slack as he stared longingly. "Is that her?" he muttered. "God, she's gorgeous."

Bob hummed in agreement. "She's really nice too. The guys all went nuts when she started last month, asking her out constantly."

Bradley sighed. Of course that's where his mind had immediately gone. But if all the guys were already asking, he was definitely too far behind in the game. "That's too bad." All Bradley wanted for Christmas was to get to know you.

--------------------------------------------

You were frantically pouring six tequila shots while trying to recall the list of orders you'd memorized a few minutes ago. 

"Four Miller Lites and two Heinekens. Or was it two Miller Lites and four Heinekens?" you murmured to yourself. Friday nights at the Hard Deck were always busy, but you loved working here. Penny was the best boss you'd ever had, and the extra money in your pocket while you finished your master's degree was very welcome. 

"Hey, babydoll, can we get another round of beers? Our prodigal Rooster has returned, and we're trying to make him feel welcome." It was Hangman. It was always Hangman, and he was always calling you babydoll. 

"Sure," you told him with a smile. He'd asked you out twice already, and you weren't trying to encourage anything else from him. You popped the tops off of nine bottles of beer and slid them toward him before adding them to his tab. "This Rooster character should at least help you carry all of these bottles."

"Yeah, he will. He's on his way up now," Hangman drawled, and you looked up to see the guy in the Hawaiian shirt with the mustache approaching you. You'd noticed him when he walked in about an hour ago, and you'd noticed him again as he played pool. It was hard not to notice him. Oh no, he had a cute smile too. 

"Are you Rooster?" you asked after he set both large palms down on the bartop. 

"Yes," he answered with a grin, reaching out to shake hands. "I'm Bradley."

You told him your name and shook his warm hand. Oh no, his eyes were a warm shade of brown and his hair was adorably wavy. "Nice to meet you," you managed to say, withdrawing your hand from his before you could embarrass yourself. Because he was very cute.

"Nice to meet you, too. I hear you're the one responsible for the Christmas music?" His voice was luxurious sounding. "I can't believe you managed to get Penny to update that thing," he said with a crooked smile, nodding toward the jukebox. 

You leaned across the bar a little bit and crooked your finger at him. He leaned a little closer to you and gazed at your mouth as you said, "Listen, you can only hear Slow Ride so many times before you lose it completely."

You watched as Rooster tipped his head back and laughed. He had scars on his face and neck, and you imagined yourself perched on his lap, gently tracing them with your fingers while he talked to you. 

You realized you definitely already had a crush on this man after meeting him approximately two minutes ago. 

"I'm honestly digging the Christmas playlist, so thanks," he told you, gathering up the bottles that Hangman had left for him to carry. "See you around." He glanced down at your lips one last time. 

You watched him walk away with a sigh before returning to your Miller Lite vs. Heineken conundrum. 

-------------------------------------------

Bradley was trying his best to play pool and converse with his friends, but his eyes were drifting to you at the bar pretty frequently. The problem was, a few of those times, you'd already been looking at him when he glanced up. Another problem was, everyone else kept buying him drinks, so he didn't even have a tab to close out with you. 

There was literally no reason for him to talk to you again, no matter how hard he tried to come up with something. And now it was getting a little ridiculous, because he was in his thirties and acting like a teenager. So he took his shot in pool and tried to focus on the game. 

"Hey babydoll, I would have brought those up for you," Hangman said, drawing Bradley's attention away from the pool table. You were a few feet away from him, gathering some empty glasses onto a tray while Hangman eyed you up. 

"That's okay, you're all supposed to be enjoying Rooster," you said, flashing your beautiful smile Bradley's way. Oh how he wanted to be enjoying you. 

And why exactly did Hangman have a nickname for you? Were you dating Jake? Oh God, you must be dating Jake. Bradley tried to hide his scowl as you turned and took the tray back up to the bar. 

Bradley left when his friends closed out their tabs, but not before he told you good night just to see you smile one more time. 

----------------------------------

Always the glutton for punishment, Bradley returned the following evening. There were even more decorations now. An inflatable snowman stood in the far corner, and there was some holly on the doors. The Christmas playlist even had Coyote and Phoenix dancing along to Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree.

"Come dance with me, Rooster!" Bradley was helpless to say no to Phoenix, and soon they were slow dancing along to the music. Bradley caught sight of you as he spun Nat around. 

"You should just go talk to her," your friend whispered. "I can tell you think she's cute."

Bradley laughed. "Everyone thinks she's cute, Nat. And she's got Hangman calling her babydoll."

"Ugh. He's the worst," Nat replied, and you both danced and laughed awhile longer. 

--------------------------------------

"Well, nevermind then," you muttered to yourself as you shook a gin and tonic. Rooster had been dancing with Phoenix for three songs, and it didn't look like they were about to stop anytime soon. You actually liked Phoenix, so you were going to have to get over your crush on her boyfriend as quickly as possible, or you'd be miserable at work. 

When Bradley eventually wandered up to the bar and ordered two beers, you took your sweet time opening them for him. 

"You look nice," he told you softly, and you fumbled with your bottle opener a bit. When you met his eyes, they looked soft and sincere. But he shouldn't be saying things like that to you, especially since it made you want to reach across the bar and place your hand on his where it rested. 

"Thanks," you muttered, sliding the beers across the bar. "You having a fun time tonight?" you asked, because you wanted to keep him talking. Were you truly going to chat up another girl's boyfriend? Apparently. But you'd keep it G rated. 

"Yeah," he said with a smile, looking at your mouth. "It's nice to be back after being away so long. Gets lonely."

"I can imagine. You must have been happy to see Phoenix," you replied, just to make yourself feel bad, apparently. 

"Oh yeah. Actually, you can go ahead and put these on Nat's tab. I'm sure she won't mind." Someone else was trying to order a drink, so he grabbed the bottles with a wink before he left for the pool table where he handed one of the beers to Phoenix. 

But then he was looking at you again! Just like he had been last night! What was he playing at? 

You tried your best to ignore him the rest of the evening, and you were doing a pretty good job of it when an hour later, you looked up to find him sliding into a seat at the bar.

"You need another one?" you asked him while you moved a bunch of empty bottles to the recycle bin under the bar. 

"Yeah," he said with a grin. "And just put it on my tab this time, please. I'm not looking to make Nat mad at me, especially not this close to Christmas. I want to get a nice present this year."

You couldn't help but smile. "What does she usually get you?"

"She usually gets me nothing," he said with a chuckle. "Maybe this year will be different."

They must have started dating recently. You couldn't help but think about the kind of gift you'd get him if he was dating you. Maybe a new Hawaiian shirt. 

"Well, hopefully you're on everyone's nice list," you told him. 

Bradley studied you with his brown eyes and smirked. "Are you on the nice list or the naughty list this year?"

Your jaw dropped open just as his eyes went wide and he started to blush. 

"Shiiiit, I didn't mean to say that." He looked panicked as he grabbed his beer, muttered an apology and quickly left for the pool table. 

You were sweating a little bit now. Had he actually asked you that? You wanted to tell him he could mark you down for his naughty list. In fact you had almost said just that. But he had vanished so quickly, and then Phoenix's face flashed through your mind. You groaned and let your forehead rest against the bartop for a second before you got back to work. 

-------------------------------------

Bradley made a few appearances at the Hard Deck the following week. But ever since he'd put his foot in his mouth in front of you, he had been avoiding you as much as possible. He went so far as to order his drinks from Jimmy. 

He also noticed someone had hung mistletoe from the ceiling in several spots, which was just plain obnoxious. The one he kept almost walking under was strategically placed right next to the inflatable snowman. Luckily he had only earned himself a kiss on the cheek from Penny, but still, that shit was dangerous. 

Now it was the last Friday before Christmas, and you were behind the bar wearing a shirt that said So Naughty I'm Nice while you mixed a drink, and Bradley was trying not to look at your chest, but it was impossible. He wanted to touch you. He kept thinking about kissing you. 

"Grab us a round, Rooster!" Fanboy called to him, and with a sigh, Bradley made his way to where you were working. All I Want For Christmas Is You was playing again. It seemed to be playing every time he was near you. And it was messing with his head. 

"Hey," he said softly and you smiled at him. So far, so good. "Can I get a round?"

"Your tab this time?" you asked with a grin.

"Oh yeah, please. That did not go over well with Nat," he said with a wince that had you laughing. 

His eyes dipped back down to the writing on your top, and of course you noticed immediately. 

"You like my shirt?" you asked, and Bradley wanted to disappear. 

"Mmhmm," he hummed, trying to keep his eyes on your face at all costs. 

"Yeah, turns out I'm on the naughty list after all," you told him, and he almost groaned out loud. Fucking Jake, that lucky asshole. 

"Really?" he managed to ask you, and he knew his voice sounded needy. You nodded and smirked at him, and Bradley prayed he wasn't as transparent as he felt.

-----------------------------

Something had you feeling extra bold tonight. Maybe it was the fact that Rooster had clearly been avoiding you for the past few days. Maybe it was the fact that his eyes always seemed to find you when he was playing pool. Maybe it was your sassy shirt. Maybe it was the fact that Phoenix was standing with her arms around Coyote's neck at the moment, a fact that could not have escaped Bradley's attention. 

It didn't really matter the reason, you just went for it. "Yeah... I must be on the naughty list. Because I didn't get to meet you until after you were off the market."

The look on Bradley's face made it all worth it. His mouth was opening and closing, but no sound was coming out. His brow was furrowed and he was blushing. 

Then you heard Penny calling you from the stockroom doorway. "Gotta run, but maybe you should get back to your girlfriend. She's looking a little cozy over there without you."

Then you turned to see what your boss needed in the back room. When you walked away, you could practically feel Bradley's eyes on you.

----------------------------------

"What in the world?" Bradley muttered to himself at the bar. As soon as you had mentioned his nonexistent girlfriend, you had vanished. 

Were you interested in him? It sounded that way. He waited a few minutes for you to return, but you didn't. 

And then it all clicked into place. He watched Phoenix and Coyote getting handsy with each other. You thought he was dating Nat! Hilarious! But, he had put a bunch of his drinks on her tab. And he had been dancing with her a lot. 

But what about Jake? Bradley rocketed off the barstool and found Hangman by the dartboard. "Are you dating her?" Bradley asked him.

Jake smirked at him. "You'll have to be more specific."

Bradley rolled his eyes. "Our beautiful new bartender. Are you going out with her?"

When Jake's face fell, Bradley's heart skipped a beat. "Nah, I tried to jump on that one too early, unfortunately. Babydoll turned me down."

"Yes," Bradley whispered, turning toward the stockroom door where he was met with Penny returning with another case of beer. 

"You need another drink, Rooster?" she asked with a smile.

"Is Y/N in the back room?" he asked.

Penny frowned. "No, I sent her home early. She's been working so many hours this week."

"Right," he replied, and turned back toward the pool table. 

---------------------------------

You got to work the following evening to find the bar was busier than you had ever seen it. The jukebox was blasting Christmas music, but it could barely be heard over all the laughter and conversation. You were in for a long night of mixing and pouring drinks faster than you ever had before. 

You saw Rooster was there, but you tried to ignore him. You felt so guilty about flirting with him, and you should have never pointed out that Phoenix was hanging off of Coyote. What were you thinking? 

When he eventually came up to the bar, you quickly asked him, "You need a round? On your tab?"

Bradley looked at you with such open longing, you had to avert your gaze down to your bottle opener. 

"Yeah. I mean, no," he said. "Well, yes, I do want to get a round, but I also wanted to talk to you."

You glanced back up to his pretty brown eyes, and you noticed the line of people behind him awaiting drinks. 

"It's crazy in here right now. Maybe later?" You shoved the beers across the counter to him. But you didn't intend to talk to him later, because he was making it abundantly clear who he was here with. Phoenix. He was handing a drink to her and whispering in her ear. And you reminded yourself that he was taken.

-------------------------------------

Bradley had tried again to get your attention, but on top of being busy, you didn't seem to want to talk to him. You thought he was with Nat. He needed to make it clear that he was not. He needed to make it clear that he was interested in you. And he really wanted to do it tonight. 

But the bar was filled with patrons all the way up until last call. And that was when Bradley noticed that Payback was sloppy drunk. 

"Guys, he's a mess," Bradley informed the others.

"Yeah, I'll drive him home," Phoenix agreed. And when Bradley tried to help Phoenix and Coyote guide Payback toward the door, Payback collided with you. Bradley watched in horror as you tried to juggle the tray full of empty bottles and glasses in your hands, but it was no use. Suddenly you were standing in the middle of a bunch of shattered glass, sighing and shaking your head at the ceiling. 

"You guys got him? I'm going to help her clean up," Bradley told the others, before squatting down in front of you.

"You don't have to," you told him as you looked down into his eyes. "I got it."

Bradley just shook his head up at you. "It's really no problem."

Bradley picked up the large pieces of the broken beer bottles while you stepped gingerly over the mess and went to get the broom and dust pan. But when you returned, he couldn't take it. He tossed the glass pieces back onto the mess.

"Can we talk? Please?" he asked you as he stood. The crowd had mostly cleared out as it was now closing time. 

"I don't think we really have anything to talk about," you told him, sweeping the glass into a pile. But Bradley gently took the broom from you and propped it against the jukebox. Then he took both of your hands in his and slowly, carefully guided you around the inflatable snowman and away from the broken glass. 

"I'm not dating Phoenix," he told you before you could pull your hands out of his grasp. 

You looked at him with wide eyes and slightly parted lips. "You're not?"

"No. Never have, never will. Just friends," he confirmed. He waited for you to say something, but you just looked at him a bit surprised. "And you'll have to excuse me for thinking you were with Jake. That's why I didn't ask you out the first night we met."

"Jake?" you asked. You looked like you were still trying to figure everything out. "I'm not with Hangman!"

Bradley chuckled. "I know that now, but he was calling you babydoll."

You rolled your eyes. "Yeah, he tends to do that. I think he wants me to tell him it's annoying, so he knows I'm paying attention to him. That's why I don't."

Bradley couldn't help but smile at you as he pulled you a little closer to him. 

------------------------------------

Bradley wasn't dating Phoenix! He never had been! And he thought you were seeing Jake? How had things become so confusing? 

And now he was guiding you into his arms, a hesitant look on his face as he said, "You know, if you went out on a date with me, Jake would probably cut it out with the pet names."

You pressed your lips together, trying to hide your smile. "Is that your version of asking?"

He grinned. "Do you want to go out with me? We could get dinner and follow it up with a long walk on the beach."

You let your palms rest against his chest as his hands drifted down to your hips. He smelled so good, like sandalwood mixed with a minty pine. Almost like mistletoe. You glanced up to find you and he were standing right under one of the sprigs you had hung up, and his gaze followed yours. 

"I must be on the nice list after all," you whispered. 

"Me too," Bradley agreed as you wrapped your hands around the back of his neck and pulled him closer to you. You traced one of his scars with your thumb as he pressed his lips against yours. His mouth was warm and perfect, and his mustache made you a little crazy.

"Mmm," you hummed, and Bradley deepened the kiss, tasting your tongue with his. He pushed you back a few steps until your butt hit the jukebox. You broke apart as the ancient machine started playing All I Want For Christmas Is You. 

"It's true though. It's all I want," he told you, forehead pressed to yours as you both smiled and listened to the opening lines. 

--------------------------------

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