#oh hey. look. solas agonizing.

[emerald-amidst-gold]

WIP Wednesday

HOLY MOLY! It has been a HOT minute since I’ve posted something! Or been active at all really. *sprawls out on the ground* But I’M BACK, BABY! >:D

Seriously, though. I took a bit of a hiatus from writing and Tumblr so that I could start working on my mental health more. So far, we doing good! The wonder of therapy and medication! :3 And thanks to that, I finally got the energy and motivation to start writing again! 

A big thanks to anyone that’s tagged me over the last few months! I’ll have to go through everything when I have a little more time! <3

NOW. Ready for a sick!Solas~? Ready for...THE DRAGON?! Well, here you go! *slams down document and runs away cackling*

---

The scent of floralled steam was what awoke Solas from his unintentional nap, his mind foggy from both congestion and light dreams. His body felt heavy, as if he were sinking into a pit of sand, and his eyes even more so. Even so, he forced his lids to open a crack, mind subconsciously calling for him to greet reality.

As the glow of light made itself known to his slumber veiled mind, he grimaced a bit. The view from where his head lay upon his pillow was blurry and hard to decipher. The satin and furs that adorned he and Fane's bed seemed to meld together to where they appeared almost one and the same. The flickering candles that hung about the walls and sat upon desk and table alike seemed as if they were all untamed yarrows, branched and spindly. It was, quite truthfully, beginning to make his head throb. So much for his nap...

Solas let his eyes fall shut once more with a heavy sigh, the Fade calling to his mind with promises of gentler sights, but despite the ache and the want, he shooed his general space of comfort away. Their bed chambers felt…still.

Too still.

Bothered, Solas blindly stretched out his arm out to the other side of the bed, seeking and searching for something, someone. However, when his hand met chilled, empty air and landed with a dull thump against barren sheets, his stomach dropped.

He was alone.

Solas hummed out in tired confusion, slowly sliding his hand up and down the length of the bed. All he felt was a cold, fur blanket, not a far more muscular arm than his or a far larger hand that had the tendency to entwine with his own within moments of contact. The absence of such routine had Solas’ brow furrowing, perplexed. Fane had been right next to him just before he fell asleep, whispering to him and massaging the back of his neck with a cool hand to help with the fever he had been fighting for the last several days.

But where had he gone now?

Solas hummed again, but it was more of a worried whimper this time. One that he couldn’t be bothered to feel embarrassment over. It wasn’t unlike his dragon to rise before him; Fane had a very irregular circadian rhythm, and oftentimes, he would be up well before the sun was. However, since becoming ill, the overprotective man had been quite clear about not leaving Solas’ side, even as he had told him over and over and over that he would be fine. So, what had changed? Fane’s sleeping habits were fickle, but his decisions were not. Only one way to find out, he supposed.

“Ma’isenatha?” Solas called out, but the volume at which he projected his usual endearment for the other was far lower than normal. He scowled, a sharp pang of pain lacing his throat. It felt as if a handful of needles had been poured down his esophagus. He had forgotten for a moment that he was, indeed, sick. Perhaps he should try sitting up, then? That would be the easiest way to confirm if Fane was in the room or not. Hopefully his body would understand that reasoning as well...

“Let us attempt to find a dragon, shall we?” Solas murmured to himself as he finally reopened his eyes, realizing that that would aid in his task as well. If there was one thing that Fane was, it was that he was incredibly easy to spot, crowd or no crowd. Having a lover with brilliant white hair and an uncommon build for an elf was a boon more times than not.

Even if said lover saw it as more of an inconvenience.

Solas couldn’t help but chuckle as he began to carefully sit up, remembering all the instances in which he had found Fane hiding from the machinations of either Vivienne or Josephine with a look of dread. His poor dragon wasn’t one for finery, but both the Enchanter and the Ambassador had been undeterred by snaps and growls. After all, many nobles were far worse when it came to such things, and they were more than amenable to wearing silk and brocade. Thus, his ancient, handsome dragon was the perfect target for those who lived for challenge.

With another fond chuckle, Solas shook his head with a somber smile. Such simpler times those days were, where the weight of duty felt distant and nearly avoidable. Sadly, he knew that that was just a pretty dream, a wish he could whisper, but never see granted...  

“Enough,” Solas chided himself softly, knowing full well that he must curb his melancholy before it choked. He lifted a hand, rubbing the sleep from his eyes with his thumb and middle finger, “I will undo what I have done. Come what may.” He had to remain steadfast, resolute. This was his duty, his commitment, his mistake, and he would not abandon it.

No matter the outcome.

With his heart somewhat sated with those feelings of resolve, Solas resumed his original goal–finding a missing dragon. No doubt, Fane, if he caught him agonizing while ill, would pin him with a hard, but empathetic glare and say, “One problem at a time, my sky.”. And as he was prone to do, Solas would sigh and nod, knowing that what his dragon said was from a place of reason and care.

---

How I’ve missed writing you, Solas~ *sighs fondly* 

I shall taaaaag! All of the following~!

@noire-pandora @oxygenforthewicked @fade-touched-shenanigans @little-lightning-lavellan @rosella-writes @redinkofshame @for-the-ninth 

And of course anyone else that would like to share something! No pressure! <3

[mysdrymmumbles]

hello how about a "Get me" :)c

Hey! Thank you so much for the prompt

Pairing: Josephine Montilyet x F!Lavellan

Word Count: 1677

Kaitrith Disapproves 

Waiting Game

For what felt like the millionth time that day, Josephine’spen scratched too harshly against her paper, punching a hole through thedelicate parchment.

Kaitrith had left four days ago, on horseback, to return tothe place of the Breach, and each second that she was gone was trying onJosephine’s nerves.

The first day, she’d been able to push aside her worries,confident that Kaitrith would be en route the whole day and that, so long asthe Breach did not continue to grow, they would all be safe. They would beready, should reports of new rifts come in as well, and she found herself morethan once intercepting scouts destined for Leliana or Cullen to ask about anyword of disaster.

The second day had been harder to pretend things would bealright.

Kaitrith and her group—a group far, far too small inJosephine’s mind—had headed off with some of their fastest horses, and Cullenhad mentioned that they would probably be able to make it to the ruins of thetemple in two and a half days, if they just stopped to let the horses rest whenabsolutely needed.

That didn’t seem safe. How could someone be expected tofight an ancient monster after such a hard ride in miserable temperatures? Withalmost no sleep? With pain in her arm that was clearly agonizing, even ifKaitrith had tried to assure her that it was nothing.

There were so many factors that were wrong, and Josephinetried to have faith that all would end well, yet she couldn’t help but think ofevery way that something might go wrong. She couldn’t help but consider that—nowthat they’d had time to properly map out the mountains—it might not even takethem that long to get to the temple.

The third day, she’d almost gone mad. The Breach continuedto linger in the sky, an eyesore to all who dared look up. Every time itcrackled, Josephine found herself holding her own left hand, grimacing at thethought that the pain might cause Kaitrith to fall from her saddle.

Surely that couldn’t happen.

It wouldn’t.

Kaitrith was strong, and she’d had the foresight to bringSolas with her, even before Josephine had suggested it.

Things would be alright.

Josephine just had to have faith.

In what though? The question had plagued her that miserablethird day. Kaitrith was firm in her belief that she was not chosen by the Maker’sBride, and Josephine respected that belief, even regretted having cultivatedthe rumor herself, before they’d become so close.

They’d talked a little about the Creators, but the legendsall said that they were locked away, with only the trickster god left to roamthe world. That Kaitrith said she’d met Mythal meant that perhaps there wasmore to the story—perhaps the Elven Gods were not sealed away at all—but Josephinedidn’t know if they would appreciate a human praying to them for help.

And she hadn’t ever really asked about prayers when talkingwith Kaitrith.

And so instead she prayed to whatever was out there and whateverwould hear her plea: Let Kaitrith be safeand return to me unscathed.

She was proud of how much she could do without lifting ablade, but as she sat there on the fourth day, she wished that she’d learned moreabout fighting. Then she could have gone with Kaitrith to protect her, insteadof sitting around waiting and writing letters that might not even matter. Theworld might end tomorrow and she’d have spent her last days scratching outnotes instead of being with the one she loved.

No.

Like so many times that day already, Josephine closed hereyes and forced herself to think of something else, anything else.

She would do her job, and Kaitrith would do hers.

Any day now, the Breach would close, and then it would justbe a matter of counting backwards until Kaitrith was back and safe and sound.

She just needed to keep her mind preoccupied.

She just needed to be patient and…

Shoving her papers away, she crossed her arms on her desk,and rested her head against them. How could she be patient? How could she staycalm and not worry when everything that matter to her hung so precariously inthe balance? It was different from last time.

Last time had been terrifying, too, but somehow it hadn’tbeen nearly as nerve wracking. She’d had faith in their cause and their people,and Kaitrith.

Now, as much faith as she wanted to have, she was tooafraid, fearful that every new letter brought to her would be of Kaitrith’sdemise.

“Dear, sweet Josie.”

Leliana’s voice startled the ambassador, and she lifted herhead to see Leliana leaning against the side of her desk. Josephine wasembarrassed to have been caught worrying so, but Leliana simply waved a hand,motioning down the hall. “I was just on my way to lunch and thought you mightwish for company. We have not gossiped in a while, and I’ve heard some rather…interestingthings about one of the more prominent comtes in Orlais. The stories are mostamusing.”

Taking in a slow breath, Josephine glanced down at herpapers, feeling a trill of guilt go through her. She was behind.

She was never behind. Not like this.

“The papers will be here in the morning, Josie.”

“Will they?” She hadn’t meant to voice her doubts, andinstantly slumped back in her chair. “I wish this whole debacle was over anddone with.”

“Don’t we all?” Leliana replied, a kind-hearted smilesettling on her features. “Come, though. The world may end, but it will not bebecause you took the time rest.”

Cunning as she always was, Leliana was good at providing adistraction from the tumultuous events going on so near. She, Vivienne, andJosephine sat in a room with a window that didn’t face the Breach, speaking ofrumors and fashion, with both women pretending not to notice when Josephinewould grow quiet and glance in the direction of the rift, or when she wouldfidget, unable to keep her mind from wandering.

However, without them, she surely would have gone mad, andshe was most grateful for their company.

Time still felt as though it was ticking onward painfullyslow, and yet, when they heard the loud crack and ran to the nearest windowthat would show them what awaited them now, the sun was just setting.

Jospehine cursed that they had sat away from the Breach asthey wound their way through the halls, rushing with others who had heard thenoise, a quiet, tense panic hanging in the air, interrupted only by quick andheavy footfalls.

When she stumbled out onto the ramparts, she could see allthe guards and soldiers on the battlements standing, gazes fixed on the Breach.More people were coming up the stairs and out of the castle to join them, andeven as she felt her stomach tightening into knots, a cheer began to rise fromthose who could see.

As she finally came to a point where the castle and thetowers didn’t block her view, she came to a stop so quickly that Leliana almostran into her.

The Breach was gone.

In its place was a shimmering, shifting light, a gentle,colorful aurora in the place of that hateful green spiral.

Kaitrith had done it.

She’d closed the Breach once and for all.

Josephine was so giddy that she clapped her hands and huggedthe nearest person—Vivienne. Though the mage seemed surprised a moment, shesimply smiled and gave Josephine a reassuring squeeze back.

“If you’d like, darling, I can send word to a few contactsin Val Royeaux and ask about getting some of their best wine sent here.” Viviennepaused, a glint in her eyes. “After all, we will want to welcome our returningheroes warmly, will we not?”

“Oh!” At her friend’s point, Josephine clasped her handstogether in front of her, eyes widening. “Of course we must. There should becakes and music and…”

With so much planning to go into such an importantcelebration in such little time, the next five days went by in almost a blink.

Every now and then she would pause and wonder how Kaitrithwas faring, but they’d received word that her beloved inquisitor was alive andwell, and that had just fueled her desire to make everything perfect. Even thefact that they were taking longer to come home barely bothered her.

They had to be tired, surely.

Josephine was up in Kaitrith’s room, setting up a fewdecorations that she felt her lover would appreciate far more than the grandshow in the main hall when there was a sharp knock on the door. Leliana leanedagainst the frame, a smile on her face. “They’re back.”

Josephine practically flew past her, hurrying down thestairs as fast as she could, calling out directions that they would need tohave finished in the last minutes before the party could commence properly.

However, when she reached the top of the stairs leading intothe main hall, she came to an abrupt halt.

Kaitrith and her companions were walking through the throngsof people, worn and weary, but heads held high. When their eyes met, Josephinefelt butterflies fluttering in her chest at the way Kaitrith seemed to throw herusual temperament to the wind and just outright smiled.

That in itself caused a quiet murmur to ripple through thecrowd, though she forgot it quickly as Kaitrith’s energy returned to her andshe bound up the steps between them, wrapping her arms around Josephine as soonas she was near enough.

Cheers erupted from the crowds below. There was so much leftto do, statements to make, guests to attend to, last minute details to set intoplace, but none of that mattered. Not in this moment.

Finally, Kaitrith was home.

[emerald-amidst-gold]

No Title. Only Self Indulgence.

This little idea was stuck in my head, and it was an excuse to make Fane and Solas act like dragon dads again, so I had to. I had to. 

I guess you could consider it ‘spoilers’, but I think everyone knows what the hell Fane is. I haven’t decided how the later chapters are gonna go exactly. So, just view this as a ‘creative’ process - a potential concept for later.

Pairing: Solavellan (Male Lavellan/Solas)

Warnings: None

“Are you certain of this, vhenan? There is still time to intervene.”, Solas asked him with a somber expression - the two of them watching from the shadows as his sister and the others of the Inner Circle swarmed around the clearing of where they had fought against Corypheus. 

Fane merely watched with a semblance of indifference, but inside his whole soul was roaring in anguish and agony, especially as he saw the wave of tears begin to run down Mhairi’s pale cheeks. The pure agony in his sister’s eyes had him shutting his own as the emotions embedded in them were too much for him to bear.

“No. This is the way it has to be. I have accepted that.”, he stated with a pained grimace cracking his stoic mask before continuing, “I wish there was another way, but all I have discovered does not point to one. And so, I must break the leash that binds me.”

Solas simply gave him a hum in sad agreement as the mage reached back to throw up the cowl to conceal his head before delicately brushing a few fingers against the palm of Fane’s hand. 

“We should leave, then, or all of this will have been for naught.”, Solas warned him gently as his hand slowly slipped into Fane’s own.

Fane continued to observe the display below them before closing his eyes once more. Yes, it was time to go. With a quick flick of his wrist, he threw up his own hood before taking Solas’s hand more firmly - giving it a tender squeeze which elicited a small, but sad smile from Solas as the mage began to guide him away from the edge of the hill they were on. Fane followed without a word nor chancing a glance back as he heard his sister’s agonizing wails from beyond. 

Observe and accept. Accept that this is the path you have chosen, but do not forget where it began. He told himself with firmness before striding up to walk beside Solas more confidently. 

Solas gave his hand another soft squeeze before a tiny chirp sounded from the mage’s pack - a tiny white head popping out of it not a second later to look around curiously. Fane and Solas both looked at each other before the mage let out a fond chuckle - reaching back to stroke the tiny dragon’s head.

“Good morning, little one. Or I should say, ‘good evening’. Sleep well?”, Solas asked the white baby dragon - its scales bristling from the touch before it let out a quiet chirp of confirmation, spurring Solas to let out a fond coo, “Excellent. We have a long journey ahead of us.”

Fane couldn’t help but smile at the sight of his sky and his newborn kin despite the grief that weighed down on him. This was what he was abandoning everything else for - his kin. He was willing to sacrifice the world and the people in it only so that his kin could live without fear of being broken and bound again. He hoped that in the months to come, that there would be another way to achieve that without killing everyone, but in his heart, Fane knew that there would be death and heartbreak no matter what. Even so, the sight of his newborn so happy washed away the pain he was feeling; if only for the moment. 

“Hey.”, he called to Solas softly, the mage stopping his fawning over the little dragon to look up at him with a sad, but hopeful smile. “Yes, vhenan?”, Solas asked - the little dragon chirping at Fane excitedly. Fane chuckled fondly at the little dragon, reaching over to give it a gentle stroke before leaning down to nudge a pale cheek tenderly. 

Solas met his action immediately with a nudge of his own - stormy eyes filled with sorrow, but fondness for him.

“I love you.”, he said with a tenderness he rarely ever showed before stopping his nudging to put their foreheads together. 

Solas’s eyes immediately shifted with hues of deep blue and indigo as the love Fane had professed became reflected in them - a tender smile spreading across Solas’s face as he tilted his head to gaze into Fane’s own eyes more deeply.

“Ar lath ma, ma’isenatha.”, Solas murmured to him quietly before their lips brushed together lightly. 

Fane huffed in amusement at the timidness. This fool still thought he couldn’t handle a kiss, didn’t he? Well, then.. 

With a bold, but gentle movement, Fane closed the distance between the two of them - slotting their lips together easily as he tilted his head a bit to deepen the kiss with a calm huff through his nose. Solas froze for a moment upon the contact, but immediately relaxed as Fane deepened the kiss - allowing himself to be swept up in the emotions harbored within it. 

“Hm..”, he hummed out softly before taking another step towards Solas - cupping the man’s face firmly as their lips moved together more deeply and slowly. 

Solas responded with a hum of his own, reaching up to gently hold onto the hands cupping his face as he allowed Fane to lead. Fane slowly became more insistent with his kisses as he carefully, but boldly slipped his tongue into Solas’s mouth - the mage offering no resistance at the action, immediately entwining his tongue with Fane’s in a slow, but bold dance. 

Fane let out a soft growl leave his lips as he began to stroke Solas’s cheeks - the grief from before beginning to crop back up as his emotions ramped up. He wanted to lose himself in the kiss. He wanted to forget everything - if only for the time being. All the pain he had inflicted and the doubt and grief that went along with it was reflected in the dance of tongue and lips as Fane tilted Solas’s head back more with his hands - the elven man letting out an understanding, but quiet moan to let Fane know he knew. With a slow movement, Fane gently pulled his lips away from Solas, a trail of saliva connecting them before he shut his mouth with a pained grimace. 

“Shit..”, he cursed as tears began to prick at his eyes, “Shit..”, he cursed again as the tears began to flow despite his efforts to hold them back.

“Oh, Fane..”, Solas said with a sorrowful tone, carefully leaning up to peck at his cheeks gingerly - a thumb coming up to catch the tears as they fell. “Shh, my heart. I know it hurts. I know.. I am sorry for the pain I have caused you..”, the mage apologized brokenly - the little dragon watching the two of them with a sad growl. 

Despite the tears rolling down his cheeks, Fane couldn’t help but offer the little dragon a smile when he saw the hue of gold attempt to light up - the newborn attempting to ease his pain with its abilities. 

“Look at you. Already, you wish to use your nature as you should..”, he told the little dragon before more tears began to flow, “I..I will make sure you can once again. You will never know a magical leash as long as I am alive. I promise you..”, he vowed around a sob as he let his tears flow unbidden. 

Strong arms wove themselves around his neck to pull him into a tender embrace as he cried - letting his face bury itself into Solas’s shoulder as choked sobs wracked his body. Solas’s hand gently worked its way under his hood to lovingly stroke at whitened hair as he murmured soothing to him.

“You will free them, my dragon. You will..”, Solas encouraged him quietly. All Fane could do was offer a single, but firm nod to Solas’s words before took a deep breath to compose himself - slowly standing up straight to stare into stormy orbs before speaking with resolve.

“We will. And we will free your people, as well, my sky. I vow to you.”, Fane proclaimed passionately, even as tears continued to stream down his cheeks, but kept his face hard with feigned strength.

Solas gave him a grateful, tender, but sorrowful smile before opting to give him a single nod - his own face hardening despite the continued softness in his stormy blue eyes.

“As I vow to you.”, Solas echoed his words before taking Fane’s hand once more - intending to lead him away once more, “Come. We must go.”

Fane nodded once more before easily falling into step next to Solas - their hands linked as if it were the only thing keeping the two from drifting apart. The little dragon’s head swiveled between the two of them before it let out a happy cry. Fane watched as Solas startled before he himself chuckled.

“It seems he has made a vow, as well.”, Fane explained when he saw Solas looking up at the little dragon on his shoulder in confusion.

Solas glanced up at him before a smile of understanding spread on his face, cracking the hardened mask from before.

“Is that so?”, Solas asked the little dragon softly, tilting his head so the newborn could nuzzle at his cheek happily, “Then I accept your vow, little one. As does he.”, the mage said, indicating to Fane with his free hand. 

Fane nodded with his own strained, but soft smile when the white baby dragon looked at him with wide emerald gold eyes. 

Those are the eyes I wish to protect more than anything. They will never be grey again. He thought before nodded once more at the little dragon, “I accept your vow made amid bloodied fields, and vow to you in turn so that emerald pools may forever echo the warmth of gold.”, he said with ease, the little dragon’s wings spreading with excited chirps. 

He watched the little newborn fondly, even as Solas’s hand squeezed his own - the intensity of his stare feeling like no more than the warmth of the sun even as pale moonlight shrouded them in shadow. Yes, this was what all the agony and heartbreak would accomplish; a future where his kin could live as they deserved - as they must. So, he would endure it all in their stead. He would endure until the moon and sun went dark. He would endure until the land beneath his feet crumbled into ash. And he would endure until the day storm colored eyes refused to reflect the sky; his own then refusing to reflect golden trees from the sky’s absence. 

For Fane - no, Aterian - was a dragon, even as his body belonged to the creatures of the immutable world; the wolf currently walking next to him with his own head held high from endurance was the sky, even as he was connected to both the physical world and the Fade. And the only way to fell a dragon was to tear the sky asunder; the only way to tear the sky asunder was to fell a dragon that guarded it. And neither would happen unless the other fell first. 

Solas was ‘He Who Walks Alone’, but the world always forgot what the two of them never would, and that what Fane had and still was. 

Fane was ‘The One Who Flew Above’ - the Dragon of the Dread Wolf, and it would be the only title he would allow to bind him to another. For now and forever.