#oh god the brainrot it’s coming back what have you done

[jamminvroomvroom]

adrenaline, baby.

ln x wife!reader

ahahaha i couldn’t help myself. wrote this at godspeed (20 mins) and i’m not even sorry. not my finest work but i could not care less this is peak brainrot (waving at you @lavenderlando). feral is the only word on my mind at this time. gg lando.

warnings: listen it’s porn with minimal plot. minors dni i am so serious!! 18+, smut, fluff, breeding kink, implied overstimulation, mentions of pregnancy, marriage, it’s just unhinged idk

your back couldn’t have hit the bed soon enough, touch starved bodies moulding into the cloud-like mattress. you’d waited all weekend to get him on top of you, and now that the stress of the race weekend had melted away, you’d been able to put the do not disturb sign to good use.

lando’s adrenaline rush had sent him feral.

he hadn’t stopped touching you since he’d been able to, practically dragging you through the mexican paddock, into the car, through the door of your hotel suite. he’d attended to his race duties and now lando had a wife to attend to.

six months of married bliss meant one thing: a lot of sex in a lot of places. you didn’t know how to keep you hands off of one another, proud of yourselves for making it behind closed doors this time. it meant you could take your time, that he could take you apart just how he liked to, and that’s what he did.

“c’mon, baby. need you nice and ready for me.” lando muttered into your neck, punctuating his words with a kiss below your ear. he had two fingers working in and out of you, curling deliciously against your walls. “did all of those overtakes, and then i did them again. now, m’gonna make you come for me again and again.”

he was a man, possessed.

a strangled cry tore from the back of your throat, zero regard for the neighbouring rooms as you fell apart, spasming into the white bed linen. lando didn’t stop, fucking you through the waves of pleasure until tears pricked your eyes and you were squirming away from him.

there wasn’t a second to recover, his curls tickling your thighs as he slotted between your legs, tongue lapping up the mess he’d just made. your ears were ringing, eyes squeezed shut, thrashing hard before your body dissolved completely under his touch. you couldn’t figure out where the pleasure started and where it ended, all you knew was that your second orgasm was approaching faster than lando has made up all those race positions.

“oh my god.” you repeated over and over like a prayer, blindly tipping over the edge, his tongue stroking your clit while his fingers coaxed you to your second release.

“i’m not done with you, baby. gonna fill you up again, just like you keep asking me to.” lando groaned, scaling up your body. you shuddered at his words, your body set on fire. it was a sort of given, at this point, that you were trying. or, to put it more accurately, not not trying. it did something to you, the idea of him letting loose, not a single barrier between your intertwined bodies, and he loved it as much as you did.

a litter of soothing kisses were placed up your throat, before he reached your lips, his own slotting over yours. it was messy, passionate, quiet whimpers being traded between you as he found his rightful place between your parted thighs. your legs were hooked over his hips, pulling him in, the tip of his cock painting over your folds. and then he was inside of you, slick bodies at one, and a switch in him flipped.

lando went deep, rocking into you like it was the last time. it definitely wouldn’t be. he could have left an imprint of your body in the mattress, holding you down as he ruined you. it was desperate, new urges unlocked in him since you’d started this new venture in the bedroom, no limits. you couldn’t keep up with him, letting him do all the work, just how he liked it. and you fucking loved it.

all you could do was clamp down on him, a beautiful mess at his mercy, his name chanted into the room. everything was hazy, nothing, there was only him and you. you arched into him, clawing at the bronzed, glowing skin of his lean back, eyes rolling in your skull at the way his muscles felt as they tensed under your touch.

“one more for me, baby, one more for now and i’ll give you what you want. gonna make me a daddy?” lando’s breath fanned your face as he spoke, watching with a smirk at the way you absolutely lost it.

you were sobbing when you came, the aftershocks continued by the way you felt him reach his own release. white heat pricked your skin and you collapsed even further into the bed, wrecked beneath him. you were grinning lazily, panting hard, eyes shut from the exhaustion. lando kissed away the tear tracks, residing inside you as you both came down from the high.

the air changed drastically, softer, intimate. he found your lips again, gentle this time, affectionate pecks reviving you.

“you okay, my love?” lando whispered. you breathed a laugh.

“you’re too good to me.” your voice was raspy, your vocal chords shot from a weekend of screaming his name in every possible context. “proud of you, honey.”

lando hummed softly, grateful for your praise. he scanned your face, an angelic glow gracing your features. his beautiful wife.

“gonna get you cleaned up.” he went to roll off of you, but your legs tightened around his waist.

“not yet. wanna stay like this for a minute.” your voice was laced with sleep, and lando couldn’t help but smile.

“this might have been the time, y’know.” lando’s words came out excitedly, unable to contain his delight at the idea of having a family. your family.

“and even if it wasn’t, i don’t mind the free practice.” you teased, but the giddy feeling in the pit of your stomach told you something, and so did the test you took four weeks later.

-

idk what came over me idk what happened lol. bye.

[auroreliis]

what if reader had k*lled someone before and the batfam (yandere) dis not know like «I dont need your damn protection» reader said to the batfam «but the world is so dangerous out there and your just a baby» the batfam said to reader « B!TCH I have k*lled someone the f you mean im a baby?!?» the batfam with horrified expresion «WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!»

That last little part is a funny little over dramatic way it might go.

Oh, you are COOKED. (Do pardon my use of brainrot language...)

CW: mentions of murder...obviously

The first thing they do is isolate you in a room and keep you there for a while until they figure out what to do with you (and so you can think about what you've done).

What happens next? Therapy sessions, which they all agreed on.

Don't worry, you will tell them everything, specifically Bruce, since he's the one carrying out the therapy sessions.

"Why did you kill that person?"

"How do you feel about it now?"

"Do you regret it?"

"How do you feel after our conversation?"

He pities the person you ended up killing and feels a little disappointed. A life was taken by you, an innocent person's life. He didn't raise you like this, did he...?

However, he also pities you. Unless you are trained to kill someone, it breaks you. He's seen it so many times, people commiting murders and then panicking, breaking down, because they couldn't live with the consequences of their actions.

You're a mere civilian, how could you ever have been exposed to that kind of environment? How could he let this happen? No, it is his fault for waiting so long before saving you from the world. He will teach you why it's wrong. He will make sure you heal and never take another life again. After all, it is his job as your father to guide you in life.

That's right, the only reason you could've done it is because you didn't know any better. You are a mere child in this old, cruel world, after all.

In the end, he holds himself accountable. He should've done better. He should've protected you better from the cruel world you live in.

Dick would be shocked. His little birdie, his angel, killed someone? Impossible. You're so innocent, like a baby, so how could this be true? He would take some time off to come to terms with the fact that you're not the kind of person he expected. When he comes back, after a week, he seems slightly distant.

With time, following your therapy sessions, he will return to his normal, clingy, annoying self. However, you can't help but wonder why he was acting so weird that one week.

Despite the fact that he also kills people, Jason is incredibly suprised and disappointed after hearing that you killed someone. Unlike everyone else, he feels anger. You're so young, so innocent, you grew up in a place where murdering someone was not necessary, so why would you do it? He doesn't kill people because he wants to, he only does it because he needs to. But you didn't need to do it.

That's what upsets him most. You chose to do it. You willingly took a life.

Despite being so hurt, so broken, he still feels an ounce hesitation when killing people, so how come you, someone who didn't go through what he did, could kill someone in a situation that wasn't even self-defense? Nothing could possibly justify it! And here you are, proudly announcing it to them. You should be ashamed.

He kills murderers, so what should he do with you? Does that make you as bad as the criminals he kills? God, he doesn't even want to think about it.

Jason won't get over it for at least a month. He'll be very distant around you and won't be seen smiling for a long time. Towards you exclusively, his behaviour becomes incredibly bitter. In fact, he's the one who most strongly encourages Bruce to carry out the long, grueling therapy sessions. He really thinks it'll do you good...

Tim's reaction would be more mild than expected. He would certainly feel uncomfortable with the fact that you seemingly feel not an ounce of guilt or regret. However, he wouldn't change his behaviour too much for too long.

During the first week, he'd be a bit more careful with his affection towards you. No, it's not because he's scared. He simply wants to observe you and see how effective the therapy sessions are. If he feels that your attitude towards murder hasn't changed, he would encourage Bruce to be more intense during the therapy sessions.

He would be more careful with the activities he offers you, since Bruce called a meeting with everyone to establish more rules, those being directed at Tim mostly. Tim's "cool, lenient older brother"-act needs to change.

From now on, no crime films or shows (especially not any violent ones), no crime documentaries, no crime or detective books, no vular language, no threats towards anyone or anything and for at least 14 months, no leaving the manor.

This change will probably be permanent.

[sylusjinwoon]

{ 181 }

perfect.

jinwoo sung x fem.reader

warnings: i need to write out a sudden brainrot with another thirst post. if n-fw stories make you uncomfortable, or you are a minor, i recommend you skip this story and read my more fluffy stories.

by choosing to interact with this 18+ content, you have consented to viewing something n-fw despite the warnings.

anonymous said: Reader who's insecure x Jinwoo who fucks the insecurity out of them, like wdym you think you don't deserve someone like him? Hecc no I am gonna marry you one of these days 🙄😍😍😍😍 LMAOOOOOOO

anonymous said: oh my god… Belly bulge kink + dacryphilia +feral Jinwoo; This sudden thought got me thirsty and tweaking forreal ಠ⁠,⁠_⁠｣⁠ಠ

jinwoo took notice of how oddly quiet you were after dinner. because it was your 5 year anniversary, he wanted to be his usual, doting self, wishing to spoil you with a delicious dinner while surprising you with yet another gorgeous piece of jewelry.

for this year’s anniversary, he gifted you a diamond necklace that had a diamond in the shape of a star, the chain made of white gold. your eyes were awed at such a gorgeous sight, and you were so choked up with emotion that you could do little but return his sweet kiss the moment he clasped the chain on your neck.

you had run to the restroom after dinner, and he recalls giving you one last kiss before you excused yourself. jinwoo had simply been scrolling through his phone, waiting for your return, when he sees someone from his periphery sidle up to him.

“hello handsome.” a sultry voice calls out to him, filling jinwoo with disgust as the woman presses her breasts against his shoulder. “i see you’re all alone, perhaps i can keep you company tonight?”

jinwoo’s eyes glow a threatening purple hue, and he nearly choked the damn wench when he icily tells her, “no, thank you. i’ve got everything that i need with the woman i love. she is the only one that has my heart, so i suggest you back away from me right this minute.”

perhaps it was the tone in his voice, or the way his handsome features were painted in a permanent scowl filled with hatred that made the loose woman immediately back away from him. she lets out a huff, flipping back her long curls as she hastily walked away from him (trying to keep what little pride she had left with her).

but damn, it seemed that the damage had already been done when you reappeared, expression appearing devastated as you clutch on tightly to the straps of your purse.

“sarang.” jinwoo’s voice loses all traces of annoyance and hatred upon seeing you. he gets off his seat, wrapping an arm around your form when he sweetly asks, “shall we head home?”

when a soft hum heard coming from you was all that he hears made the warning bells go off in jinwoo’s head. his eyebrows were furrowed, gently leading you away from the restaurant and back into the car as he drove you back home.

he was ready to open the door for you, but shockingly, you shove open the passenger door first, already marching toward your shared home with your keys in hand. feeling bewildered, jinwoo could do little but watch you with wide eyes.

his hands were clenched in fists, slamming it down against his vehicle, nearly placing a dent within it. you must have seen that damn minx trying to seduce him. he had to clear up all misunderstandings-

he had to remind you that you were the only woman for him.

after spending some time outside, (giving you a moment of solace alone), jinwoo follows after you, with a hand shoved deep into the pockets of his dress pants. locking the door, he goes toward your shared bedroom, pushing open the door fully to see you staring at your reflection with a forlorn expression.

your dress lay beneath your feet in a crumpled mess of fabric. dressed only in your undergarments, he watches as you pick and prod at your every features while running a hand down in a slow and deliberate manner down your body.

admittedly, just seeing you touching yourself (even in such a non-sexual manner) was enough to make a shot of desire course through him. feeling his pants begin to tighten, jinwoo had to let out a deep breath so that he could try to communicate with you properly.

“honey, what’s wrong?” he joins you, remaining behind you as he brushes his lips against your hair. a whimper escapes from your lips when you tell him (sounding completely and utterly heartbroken), “you deserve better than me.”

jinwoo felt his blood run cold just then, lips already parted to voice his protests when you interrupt him, “i saw the woman that came up to you tonight. she was gorgeous, jinwoo. her makeup and hair was flawless, and she had an hourglass figure that women die for. and look at me, i’m-“

“you’re the only woman who can make me this hard.” jinwoo leans down to whisper harshly in your ear, biting down against the shell of it as he purposely presses your half naked form to the spot between his legs, allowing you to feel the tent you had caused beneath you.

“j-jinwoo?”

he lets out a grunt of your name, wrapping both of his arms around your frame before slamming you down against the edge of the bed. eyes becoming dilated with desire for you, he gives your lips a searing kiss, groaning when he feels them part for him as he greedily steals a taste of you. while keeping his lips locked against yours, jinwoo takes off your bra that keeps your breasts hidden from him, uncapping it as he tosses it aside, earning yet another moan from you.

he was panting heavily as he looks down at you with lust and love in his eyes, seeing you nearly naked for him with the diamond necklace the only item that covers your body. such a seductive sight was enough to make his blood go red hot, making his cock grow even more for you.

he adored your kisses, he truly did-

but jinwoo was a starving man-

and he wanted a part of you that tasted so much sweeter than what your mere lips could offer.

jinwoo keeps your body still, kissing down every inch of skin he could reach before settling comfortably between the fat of your thighs. he sees the familiar wet stain against your panties, letting out a dark chuckle as he slowly takes off the damp fabric with his teeth alone. gently gripping at the bottom of your panties with his teeth, he continues to slide it down, allowing the sight of your soaked core to be freed for his eyes to see.

letting out a guttural groan of your name, jinwoo places his lips directly against your slick walls, his tongue diving in to taste and devour your honeyed sweetness as you cling to dear life against the sheets that made up your bed.

jinwoo knew your body better than the back of his own hand. he could play it like an instrument, eliciting the right amount of breathy sighs and high pitched moans as he uses his fingers and tongue to bring you to heaven.

when he feels you spilling yourself into his awaiting mouth, a dark chuckle escapes from him. he allows his lips to press a gentle kiss against your aching pussy before moving himself away from you.

“fuck, you taste so good… i can’t hold back anymore, i just can’t.”

your eyes remained hazy and unfocused when jinwoo simply tears off his expensive clothes, tossing them aside (like trash) until he was left just as bare as you were. while his hungry gaze remained honed in on your face, he could see the tears beginning to form against your pretty eyes.

and that just made his need to claim you increase even more.

with a groan, he pulls you closer to him by your thighs, the mushroom tip of his cock already pressed against your entrance when he immediately thrusts deep inside of you.

you cry out when he begins to harshly thrust in and out of you, leaving you a mess as you lost all of your senses. not a single coherent word leaves your parted lips, only able to gasp and moan and repeat babbles that sounded oddly like his name over and over again.

and jinwoo wasn’t faring any better, for the moment he completely sheaths his cock inside of you, that was the moment he lost all train of thought as well.

the powerful hunter was absolutely mesmerized at how well you were taking him in. just seeing the sheer girth of his erection being hidden inside of your sweet cunt, even bulging against your soft abdomen, was enough to make jinwoo cum right then and there.

such a sight was enough to make him pound into you even faster, muscles clenching in response as jinwoo’s sole purpose was to gift you pleasure-

and gift you pleasure he did.

after a few more expertly timed and angled thrusts, jinwoo could feel yourself clenching tightly around him, trying to milk him for all he was worth-

but it didn’t work.

even with the evidence of your sweet juices coating his cock, jinwoo remained painfully hard for you. he gives you a few seconds of reprieve before continuing to pound into you, allowing the evidence of your release to cause the sounds of his lovemaking to be more apparent. each thrust was accompanied with a wet, squelching sound that makes your face heat up considerably.

“jinwoo… oh my god… jinwoo!” your cries of his name were like music to his ears as he proceeded to make love to you, pinning you to your shared bed as your toes curled in response to each and every one of his harsh thrusts felt against you.

how could you possibly think that he deserved anyone that wasn’t you?

how could you not see that he actually saw a future with you, with the engagement ring he had plans on giving to you hidden within one of his drawers?

ah, but perhaps he’ll save his proposal for some other time-

a time where he isn’t busy filling and splitting you open with his cock as he brought you to paradise throughout the entirety of the night ♡

a.n. - i need to get this thirst post out of the way and out of my system, so please forgive me 😭🙏🏻 completely unedited bc this is so self indulgent agslggkhssdhf

all stories are written by rei; reposts, translations, and plagiarism are not allowed.

[barefoothighlander]

sweet creature

summary: simon needs help with his hair

simon ‘ghost’ riley x gn!reader

warnings: none

a/n: yea full brainrot at the idea of simon being on leave and bleaching his hair even though no one sees it😭 just a lil one shot, not proofread

“What is that smell?” You scrunch your face as the scent wafts through the air, turning you attention from your book.

You follow it to the washroom, the smell growing stronger as you approach,

“Are you using that weird cleaning stuff again?” The question coming from you before your eyes land on Simon, his arms awkwardly contorted around his head as he applies product to his hair.

He catches your eyes in the mirror, huffing a small breathe, “Can’t reach the back”

“You’re dying your hair” It comes out as a statement, confusion written on your face.

“I always do”

“But this is like, really blonde”

“Think it’s bad?” He drops his arms, placing the small brush into a bowl on the counter.

You shake your head, moving closer to him, “Not bad just, different I guess”

“You don’t like it?”

“Haven’t seen it, just used to your darker hair”

You shift your gaze to the products on the counter, “S’alot of bleach Si”

“Not really a professional”

Smiling lightly you press your palms to his bare back, his muscles loosening under your touch as you lean in, pressing a small kiss to his lower shoulder.

“C’mere”

You nudge his body away from the mirror, turning him to sit near the edge of the tub, scooting the chair in the corner closer.

He sits, resting his back against it and drawing a heavy breath,

“You know what you’re doin love?”

“Nope, but it can’t be worse than you slapping bleach on your neck”

He parts his legs for you to stand between them, your body settling close to his as his hands hold at your waist, he tilts his head to look up at you before you use your hand to set it forward, a small laugh from his chest.

Painting the product on his hair and running it through the strands you apply a semi even layer of bleach to it.

Even sitting he’s tall, his head resting at the same height as your chest, your body having to contort around him as you reach to apply product, careful to avoid bleach on your shirt.

“Just take it off”

“Huh?”

“Your shirt”

“Oh”

Well it’s only logical, handing him the bowl you lift your shirt from your chest, tossing it to the side, leaning back over him.

“M’sorry don’t mean to hit you” Apologizing at his face comes into contact with the skin of your chest.

“More than happy to stay like this” His words are muffled against your skin, his lips pressed to your flesh as you work.

his hands grip your waist, tugging you closer to him as you reach for his shoulders, steadying yourself,

“Y’know I can’t work in these conditions” Scolding him as he presses light kisses to your exposed skin.

“Shame”

Your stomach tenses as you giggle, placing down the bowl and shifting your body to straddle his lap, his arms wrap around your back holding you as his dark eyes come into your sight.

“All done”

“Does it look alright?”

“Won’t know till we wash it out”

“Right”

He leans in to kiss you but you pull back, “You smell like chemicals”

“And in my time of need you deny me kisses?”

“Time of need?” You laugh

“Yes, I need them” Smiling as he closes the distance between you two, his lips pressed to yours as your hands settle on his chest, the thrum of his heart steady under your touch.

“Hand me that washcloth” You smile against his lips as he reaches for the small cloth, you run it along his skin, cleaning any mess of bleach from the flesh as he watches you.

“So why bleach it if no one sees”

“Just something I’ve always done”

“Does it have to do with being ghost, or being simon?”

“Simon”

You nod, “Much better” Wiping the newly clean skin with your thumb and settling back into his lap.

“How long does it stay on?”

“We’ll your hair was already blondish, just a little longer I think”

“All right”

“You bought toner right?”

“Toner?”

“Oh my god”

“What? Do I need that?”

“If you don’t want orange hair, yes”

“Orange?”

You bite back a small laugh as his eyes widen, “It’s fine, we’ll get some”

“I have to go out like this?”

“You wear a mask”

“But I’ll know”

You lightly push his face to the side laughing, he turns his head back to you with a smile, “C’mon, let’s rinse this”

You push off him, standing in front of his body as you turn the shower on, grabbing the smaller handle and letting the water run over his hair.

“Christ!”

“What? Did it get in your eyes? Are you okay?”

“S’cold” He looks up at you as you scoff, twisting the shower head to let some water hit his body, “Hey woah”

“Stop being a baby”

“A baby?”

You rinse the bleach from his hair with your hands as he reaches up, grabbing it from you and turning it on you, effectively drenching you in water as you yelp.

“Simon!”

He just laughs in response as you reach for the shower head, throwing it into the tub and turning it off, staring at him as water drops fall from your skin, forming a puddle beneath your feet.

“Totally not cool”

“Hey paybacks a bitch”

“Yeah? Tell that to your orange hair”

“Oi wait, c’mon you can’t let me walk around like that”

“Can’t I?”

“Please love, m’sorry” His apology comes through his laughs, his arms reaching for you, tugging your hips closer as he pulls you onto his lap, reaching for another kiss.

You oblige, connecting your lips again as his hands run over your wet skin, “C’mon dry off”

You reach for the stack of towels beside you, tossing one to him before drying your own body, throwing it on the hook, “I’m gonna change, then we’ll go to the shop”

He nods in response, standing from his chair and stretching his back before glancing at himself in the mirror, worried eyes staring back as the less than blonde hair on his head comes into view, running a hand through it and huffing a breath.

“Promise this toner stuff will fix it?”

“I make no promises” You yell from the bedroom

“S’not what I want to hear”

He meets you in the room, pulling off his wet pants to change into dry clothes as you tug one his shirts onto you.

“Okay, ready?”

He rugs his mask over his face, covering his hair as he nods, “Let’s go fix this” he says, gesturing to his head before slicing an arm around your shoulder and walking through the door by your side.

[endless-ineffabilities]

dragonfire

Aemond Targaryen x f!reader

masterlist ▪︎ word count: <1k

The one in which Aemond Targaryen ponders over an existence without you. (i.e. a little something caused by my recently resurgent Aemond brainrot)

"So, what are you planning to do?"

Daeron's question hangs in the air. For a moment, Aemond fails to grasp the subject of his inquiry. But his mind, as it always does, goes back to you.

Having returned from visiting you in the library, Daeron found him smiling to himself in the godswood, like some pathetic, lovestruck youth.

"I am not sure what you mean." Aemond turns, regarding his younger brother with a lingering look.

"Will you ever confess to her how you feel?"

Has he become that easy to read? How he feels. Has he even admitted that truth to himself? He casts his gaze downward, kicking over a pebble with the sole of his boot. "It has not crossed my mind," he says. A lie, plain as day.

Daeron tries another approach, knowing how difficult it is to elicit the best reaction from his stoic brother. "Well, look about the matter in this way - what would your life be like without her in it? What if you never knew her at all?"

Aemond scowls in distaste. He is not too inclined to be analysed in such a way. But his thoughts have been influenced by Daeron's questioning. What would everything be like without you?

He would still be Prince Aemond Targaryen. He would still possess his royal devotion and sense of duty.

But without you?

"It would not be right," Aemond confesses. "It would be a plain cruelty to myself were I to entertain the thought. I suppose I would go on, as I am, but I have no desire to."

Days without your companionship, and nights without the thought of you intertwined with him in his chambers? How dull it would all be.

"She's like... like my dragonfire. My strength. Only she can ever have any true power over me."

Only you would be permitted to. The influence of his family, and of his status - they stand no chance. If you asked him to renounce his titles, and to sail together on a ship to Yi Ti, Aemond knows he would do so. For you.

And it terrifies him. He was raised to be methodical. To not be rash in his decisions. He has always upheld his family and his personal ambition above all else. But what terrifies him even more is the possibility that you would not be so receptive of his affections. And that, one day, duty would demand him be wed to another Lady who isn't you.

So he is resolute is not letting that happen.

"I would be the most content man in all of the Seven Kingdoms if I could live out my days with her as my Lady wife." The sentiment flows out of him as naturally as taking a breath. "If she will have me," he adds, softly.

Daeron smiles in agreement, before offering the simplest course of action. "So take her to be your wife. There is no doubt in my mind that she will have you."

"It is not that easy."

"What if some other Lord will ask for her hand - "

"Then I will take pleasure in feeding Vhagar her next meal."

Daeron simply laughs, patting Aemond on the shoulder. "Take heart, brother. No Lord can surpass you."

"Hmm." Of course not.

"I shall take my leave," Daeron says. "Oh, and if you change your mind about her, I would not be averse to asking for her hand, myself."

Aemond stiffens, glowering at Daeron with a storm brewing in his eye. For a split second, he considers having to duel his brother, if it would come to that. Felling him, if need be. For you.

His own kin. He has done it before, after all. And this time, it would be for the greatest of causes - the battle for your heart.

"Gods," Daeron bursts in a fit of laughter. "Aemond, I only jest. We do not need any more infighting in our family than we already have."

Aemond exhales in relief as his brother departs, leaving him with the realization that he would actually resort to such extreme measures in order to be with you.

Seven hells, he is well and truly fucked.

[omgjumin]

Collegebf! Nanami and Yn fooling around and making out in the dorms 👀👀👀?? Ugh my head is filled with FILTHY thought for this man 😭

making out with collegebf! nanami kento!

tags: suggestive, making out, choking (kind of, not rlly), hinted hand kink, mentions of hickeys, thats it, gn! reader

notes: literally ME TOO especially after this jjk season 2 trailer just dropped, i am having MAJOR brainrot with this man. (this was supposed to be done three weeks ago but writers block 🤕)

you didn't intend this to happen but with nanami on top of you, his legs straddling each side of your body while one hand is pinning yours to the bed and the other is wrapped around your neck and his lips dancing around with yours, it seems like this was on purpose.

his blonde hair that was once neatly slicked to the side, how it usually is, was now a mess. his hair stuck onto his face, whether it was due to how the hot the room was or how close to you he was, he didn't know and he didn't care. he was all over you, hands running up and down your sides, grasping any and every piece of skin he found. and oh my god, he was entranced with you.

today was the day you finally finished moving into your college dorm, everything was unpacked with the help from your friends, family and nanami, your boyfriend. and to no one's surprise, nanami had already moved in, a week before you did so he had all the free time to help you. and when he found out your dorm was no less than a hallway down from his, he couldn't help but let his thoughts become plagued with you.

"thank you guys. i'll finish the rest of my clothes myself, you can go now. bye bye, thank you." you said as you sent off both your parents and friends. "kento, you too. i don't know when my roommate will be back." nanami hummed softly as if he was in agreement with you but he did nothing to start leaving. "kento, seriously, i don't want to set a bad impression on my roommate by having a guy over already."

"mhm." he hummed once again, not listening to a word you said as he sat down on your bed. "kent-" the words escaped your lips as nanami pulled you in by the waist, hands wrapped around your body as you fell on top of him. you stumbled over nothing but you could've sworn something was there to trip you for you to end up like this. nanami's eyes were stuck on you. his eyes beamed with love but with the hint of mischievousness under the dimmed dorm lighting. his hands and yours were intertwined as nanami tilted his head up for a kiss. you take one glance down at his lips before looking over at the door, your ears perking up for any footsteps approaching. "just one kiss, i swear i'll leave after this." you hear nanami say, although you know damn well he won't.

this is what makes you think, you know for a such a serious academic student, he sure does play around a lot with you. you feel like a teenager again around nanami. you quickly meet his lips which only causes nanami to smile against you. a small hushed laugh comes out of his mouth before he completes the kiss, his hands coming up to push your hair out of your face. the kiss only lasts for a few seconds before you pull away, you aren't going to fall into his trap, well, at least not this time. "okay, that was one kiss, you can leave now." you mention his deal from just a minute ago however, it seems nanami has forgotten this as he hums in confusion while he presses soft kisses on your neck, surely with the best intentions.

"nanami kento, i swear, my roommate-" you want to warn him yet as your voices cracks due to his persistent kisses against your skin, you shut your mouth and just wish really fucking badly that your roommate does not walk through that door anytime soon.

nanami's lips are all over you, his breath tickles down your neck as he leaves small kisses near your shoulder. once again all nanami does is hum at your warning, well it's baseless to him anyway. his teeth tug at small parts of your skin to leave marks of some kind, wanting to mark you as his. as if your phone lockscreen, his initials on a necklace and your very apparent promise ring wasn't enough to show that already. his hands hold your neck, not enough to choke you but to hold you in place. your mouth opens in a squeak, your eyes followed his every movement. you ran your fingers through his ruffled blonde hair, nanami letting out a low groan as you did so.

his university sweatshirt the one that matches yours was becoming too hot for him. maybe it was you, maybe it was him, or maybe the dorm, he didn't know. he didn't get the time to think about it before he crashed his lips onto yours. his hands cradling your neck to get you closer to him as if you weren't close to him enough. "god, i love you so much." he mumbles into your lips finding himself way too entranced with you.

as soon as nanami connects his lips with yours, your heart rate picks up. you swear you could hear it from a mile away. it was beating so loudly but the only thing you could hear was your synced breaths with his. with each inhale, nanami deepened the kiss, his teeth biting your bottom lip, as if pleading for more. nanami needs more and so let him. your roommate was the last thing on your mind as you feel nanami's hand slide under your shirt. his hands are cold but nanami feels like he's on fire.

all you can think about is him, your lips moved together and all you can taste is him. the slight taste of coffee slips right into your mouth, probably from the coffee he had earlier this morning. you can't help but want to devour him more as your lips wrapped around each other. your heart was pounding and your stomach couldn't help but twist in butterflies from the way his cologne filled your senses. a small scent of a fragrant citrus with a hint of an earthy saffron. maybe you smelled hints floral and ocean breeze on him but as you continued to breathe him in, you couldn't help but to get drunk off of him. your head is starting to get dizzy. was it because of the lack of oxygen flowing in you or was it because of nanani, you didnt know but you didn't want to stop.

but then the door handle turned, voices were heard and footsteps coming to a hault. the silence was deafening as you stared at your roommate and back. your body froze in the act, even though you weren't doing anything scandalous (yet), you felt like a deer caught in the bright headlights in the dark. and finally all nanami could do was laugh softly, as your roommate murmed something about being back later. "i guess i get to have more time with you."

"kento, get out."

[mrzombielover]

- slow ride ch2

feat. sinner!adam x fem!hotel worker!reader

previous chapter || series masterlist || next chapter (wip)

warnings: NSFW, more substance use in this one, a bit of angst?, readers emotional issues

a/n: i feel like my writing sucks esp in this chapter cause im sorta rusty and sick so i cant even tell if this makes sense but oh well😭😭😭 anyway pls send me hazbin reqs!!!!! having the worst brainrot lately esp for this horrible man!!!

wc: 2.9k

“I'm not breaking up inside / I'm much to proud to moan / Baby, please come home”

Oh my god. What did I just do? Why did I do this?

You turn your head to look at Adam where he’s lying on the other side of the bed, and find his expression closely mirrors your own. Pure disbelief is written on his features, and you grimace, turning to look back at the ceiling.

After a moment, you sit up, grabbing your box of cigarettes and a lighter off your bedside table. Once lit, you swing your feet off the bed to reach for shirt and now ripped panties, standing up when you’re partially dressed. You hear Adam sit up behind you.

“Soo, that was… uhhh…” He trails off, mouth hanging open as he thinks of what to say.

“Let’s… not speak about this again,” You say carefully as you turn back to face him.

“Yeah. yeah, i’m good with that,” He says quickly, finding his robes off the floor. You’re surprised he doesn’t say anything about the smoke.

You cross the room to get your pants off the floor, pulling them up as Adam grabs his jacket. You pull up your fly, and look up to see Adam’s staring at you with an expression you can’t read. His eyes flicker to your lips, and he starts to lean closer.

“Kiss me and i’ll cut your fuckin’ tongue out,” you say as you turn your head away.

“Oookay then. I’ll, uh, see ya,” For once, he has no snarky comment or crude joke to make as he straightens up and leaves your room.

After that, you told yourself never again. It happened once, it’s out of your system, it’s done. A one time thing.

But then it happens a second time.

“It’s a disgusting habit! All your clothes, your whole room fuckin’ reeks!”

“Are you tryin’ to get me to loose my temper here? ‘Cause i’m about to shove you out that fucking window!”

“And look how angry you get, you fucking fiend, it’s been like 2 hours!”

“Why don’t you mind your goddamn business?”

You raise an arm to hit him, but he catches your elbow, twisting you around so your back is to him and he can hold you in place. You struggle to break from his grip, when suddenly-

“Oh my god,” You deadpan, but your voice doesn’t come out as disgusted as you expected at the feeling of something hard poking into your lower back.

“Okay, this is not my fault-“ Adam says quickly.

“You- fucking perv!” You spit, but your words hold no weight when he flips you again and lifts you up, placing you on the counter and you make no effort to struggle. You spread your legs so he can slot between them as items pushed out of the way cascade off the counter, falling to the floor with loud crashes.

You then told yourself that would be the last time. But not even you fully believed yourself. And once it happened a third, fourth, and fifth time, you just accepted this is something that happens now. You’re not proud of it- some of you hates yourself, but another part of you finds a a sick, primal pleasure in it. It’s the only guaranteed way for you to get him to shut up, if only for a few minutes. The fight for dominance- fuuck you’re messed up, huh?

Thinking of the humiliation you’d feel if any of the others found out- oh god, how could you look Alastor in the eyes again- you change absolutely nothing about your behavior around Adam. On the surface, nothing has changed at all. You two still bicker and argue all the time, if anything, worse than ever. Yet the other members can feel something’s up, that something changed. Adam’s insults feel more hollow. He always said shit just to rile you up, but there was usually an undertone of truth to his words. Not anymore- it’s all stupid shit that everybody can tell he doesn’t care about. Nobody says anything about it, though, until-

“What the fuck are you smilin’ for?” Angel’s voice makes Adam jump as he enters, sitting down on the couch beside him.

“What-? I wasn’t smiling,” Adam quickly denies. “What are you talking about?”

“Oh my god- are you’re gettin’ laid?” Angel grins, sitting up. The look on Adam’s face tells him everything, and he can’t help but laugh. “Oh, you so are! No wonder you’ve been in such a good mood lately,”

“Uh, duh i’m getting laid, I’m Adam, I’m the origin-“

“Yeah, yeah, original dick. But that’s not what I mean and you know it.” Angel grins widely, and Adam can feel his face heating up. Oh god- why is he blushing? Since when does he care? He pushes the thought from his head.

“…You don’t know her,” Adam decides to say, crossing his arms and turning back to face the TV, hoping Angel will just leave it at that.

“Try me,” Angel leans closer, looking intently at Adam’s expression. When Adam says nothing, Angel laughs again.

“Oh my god I so know her,”

Adam grits his teeth but says nothing as Angel laughs.

“Okay, fine, don’t tell me who you’re havin’ weird secret kinky sex with,” Angel shrugs, turning to face the TV. “I’ll find out eventually,”

That makes Adam sweat.

You can’t help but laugh, nearly spitting whisky everywhere while Husk chuckles to himself. Sure, it’s a bit trite, ranting to the bartender about your shitty day while he pours you a stiff drink, but Husk could always make you laugh about it, and call you out on your bullshit if needed. He was real, and you liked that about him. Plus, it beat drinking alone when none of your other friends wanted to party on a Wednesday.

“-and not a crazy bitch like I’m a crazy bitch, crazy like she lit her mom’s hair on fir-“

“Husk holy shit!”

Both of you look in the direction of Angel Dust’s voice as he runs from the hallway towards you both. He leans over the bar, eager to share whatever news he had.

“Adam’s fucking somebody- somebody here!”

You choke on your whisky, spitting it back into the glass. Angel and Husk both look at you with a raised brow.

“My bad,” is all you say. you can’t think of anything else that would play it off, so you just quietly wipe off your face while Angel recounts his encounter with Adam. You feel an eye twitch- you could strangle that prick for being so conspicuous.

“You’re quiet, Y/N,” Angel says in a teasing tone.

“I just could not care less if I tried,” You say back, firmly but with a shrug, and you hope it suffices as an acceptable explanation, and that you come off as your usual apathetic self. You finish your whisky, and luckily, Angel doesn’t give you any more shit. Slightly unsettled by that interaction, you avoid Adam for the next few days.

Late one evening, everybody’s gone up to their rooms and the hotel is quiet. You’ve already eaten, smoked, brushed your teeth and put on pajamas, but there’s nothing good on TV and you’re bored and high and just want a task to keep busy. So you wander aimlessly into the kitchen and find yourself doing the dishes that Charlie was too stressed out to do earlier.

As you scrub brown charred bits off a pan, you find your stupid weed-addled brain wandering to Adam. You haven’t fought with him in a while, mostly because you’d run away before he had the chance to start, but still. It feels weird, being so calm lately. No wonder you’re bored. It’s the way things used to be at the hotel, before he arrived. You guess you hadn’t realized how used to his presence you’ve gotten. Gross. You cringe at the thought.

Luckily, your phone starts to vibrate on the counter, giving you a distraction. You pick up and hold it between your ear and shoulder without looking at the caller ID.

“Yo, where are you right now?”

Of course.

“Adam? What the fuck, when did you get a phone?” You snort. When you realize you’re smiling you clear your throat and force your face to relax.

“Whatever. Can you come upstairs?”

You pause. He sounds slightly odd.

“What, like, to your room?�� You raise an eyebrow. “Why?”

“ohmyfuckinggod- can you not be difficult for fucking once and just do what I ask?” Then, as an afterthought, he adds “Please?”

Damn, okay. You don’t say anything for a moment, thinking maybe you’re just smacked and he’s being normal.

“Suuuure… Just uh, gimme a minute,” You say carefully, putting the dishes down. Then, he hangs up on you. What a dick.

Unbeknownst to you, while you’ve been thinking about him, he’s been thinking about you way more.

You’ve been avoiding him- obviously. Not unexpected, but it pissed him off to no end. He’s fucking Adam! Who are you to ignore him? Aren’t you supposed to be keeping an eye on him, anyway?

By now, the others have started to accept him- including them in their plans, drinking with him, no longer leaving a room when he enters- so he doesn’t really need a chaperone anymore. Despite this, it still feels wrong. Even in a room with every other patron of the hotel, he’d started to notice when you weren’t there.

He didn’t even notice he was starting to miss you at first. It wasn’t until he and Charlie were seated at the bar, and he drank more than he probably should have, that he mentioned you were avoiding him.

“What’dya, miss her?” Husk asked.

“Awww, Adam!” He still remembers the look on her and Husker’s faces. “You are starting to change! That’s so sweet of you!”

And then because she was drunk she kept rambling about it for like 30 minutes, but he doesn’t remember the rest of what she said, just the utter humiliation he felt. He shut up for the rest of the night to avoid spilling his guts any more, but Husk- the annoying fucker- still gives him knowing looks every now and then.

And after Nifty had washed his sheets, and he’d noticed that his pillows lost the scent of cigarettes, perfume, and shampoo you’d left behind, he knew he was royally fucked.

The worst of all, though, is that he feels helpless to feeling these emotions- and even worse, he doesn’t want to stop feeling them. Before he’d even noticed it, he was thinking about you all the time, and he was fine with it. The embarrassment was killing him, even though, supposedly, nobody knew.

On this particular night, he’d probably had just a tad too much beer with his dinner, because when he’d returned to his room and flopped on his bed, there was a little bug in the back of his brain that kept whining about how empty it felt. He tossed and turned for a bit, just wanting to sleep it off, but he eventually gave up, reaching for his phone.

“Adam?” Before you’re finished knocking, Adam jumps up to get the door, pulling you inside quickly. You make a noise of surprise as he scoops you up immediately, not saying anything as he carries you to his bed.

“Damn, needy, huh?” You laugh. This time, it’s him telling you to shut up as he tosses you onto the bed and crawls over you.

You sit up slightly to help him get your shirt off, and then his lips are on your neck, trailing down to your chest as he unclips your bra.

“Haven’t seen you in a while,” He says with a casual shrug as his hands run up your torso to grope at your tits.

“mm,” You hum, arching your back into his touch. “missed this?” You smile sarcastically. Missed you, he thinks.

“Sure missed these,” He pushes the thought away and grins back, squeezing your chest for emphasis. He pulls back briefly to rid himself of his own shirt, then bends back down to press more kisses to your flesh. He looks up, staring at your expression as he takes one of your nipples in his mouth, reveling in the whimper he’s rewarded with.

“fuckin’ perfect tits…” He mumbles into your chest before nipping at your skin. You let your eyes shut as his free hand slides down, under the band of your shorts and his finger brushes the hot skin beneath, skimming over your lips. Adam thumbs at your clit through your panties, relishing in the whine he rips from your throat.

Impatiently, you shift your hips up to slide off your shorts and panties, then reach to tug at his belt loops to signal he should do the same. When he looks up and sees the desperate look on your face, he decides not to keep you waiting, and pulls back to rip off his pants and boxers.

You guess avoiding him these past few days has affected you, too, because you’re surprisingly desperate. You sit up, wrapping your fingers around his cock, smearing his arousal across his length, and whatever he had been planning to say dies and comes out a needy garble of nonsense that makes you snicker.

To your surprise, he has no quip as he crawls over you and pushes himself between your legs. He bites back a gasp when you rub the head of his cock between your folds, a groan following a moment after as he begins pushing into you.

Your thighs are trembling by the time he’s fully inside of you, and you wrap your legs around his waist weakly while you adjust to the stretch.

He sits up fully, and from this view, you look stunning. The way you're laid back on his pillow, tears pricking in your eyes, he thinks you look more angelic than anything he ever saw in heaven.

“fuuuck,” He groans, letting his head fall onto the bed as he starts to move his hips.

“Adam!” The way you whine his name is truly sinful, and he feels his dick twitch in response.

“holyfuck, ‘s so big,” The slight burn makes you regret your impatience now, and his face makes you regret stroking his ego. You make a point to ignore his self satisfied laugh, focusing instead on how his cock stretched you open, making you to tighten and release around him. You turn your head, looking at his wicked fucked-out smile that grew wider and wider as his movements got deeper.

You can’t speak, you just moan helplessly as your hands search for anything to grab onto to steady yourself. You throw your hands around his neck and bury them in his now dark wings, in the way you always did. You gripped the feathers tightly and let out a moan and oh, god, he’s not going to last long, he thinks, with you gripping the sensitive feathers like that. He groans again, then his lips find your shoulder, where he leaves messy, open-mouthed kisses trailing towards your neck.

“so fuckin’ sexy, so, so good for me,” you barley even register that he’s speaking, with your entire focus being on the way he moved in and out of you.

“you’re- so beautiful,” he says between grunts. your eyes widen.

“wha-ahh-“ before you can question that, a particularly hard thrust makes the words die in your throat, and you’re clawing to his biceps again.

A warmth of pride erupts in your chest at the way his breathing has turned labored and his grip on you tightens. An arm snakes around your waist, the other under your head, pulling you impossibly tighter against him as he continues to desperately pound into you. The proud smirk you wore is wiped off your face when you feel one hand releases you and his hand trails down, eventually pressing a thumb your clit, rubbing small circles that make you moan and twitch beneath him.

You can’t even warn him before your whole body erupts. You spill over, you lose sense of where and who you are, all the while, Adam pounds into you, strokes you inside and out. You vaguely hear a sudden crash and him mumbling, thanking god that you came before him because seconds later, he’s spilling his own cum inside you with a broken wanton groan.

Adam stills for a moment, panting as he holds you close. When he rolls off you, he keeps one arm around you, pulling you against his chest. Huh. That’s new.

Neither of you say anything. That was… different, than you’re used to with him. You furrow your brows as you think, and find yourself confused. The cogs in your head turning something terrible in your mind, questioning his intentions.

Once you’ve caught your breath, you sit up, pushing away his arm as you go to find your clothes. He frowns, watching you pick your shirt up from the ground and pull it over your head. You looked guarded, like a cornered doe, like you were just waiting for the chance to sprint away.

Adam grabs his own boxers from the floor and pulls them on, quickly crossing the room to where you were. He looks down at you, and feels an odd, tightening in his chest, something he’s felt a lot since falling to hell.

He leans against the door, putting on a cocky smile.

“Soo… this was like a booty call, huh?”

“…Yeah, whatever. See ya,”

[hhonghu]

My love for Albedo and Rubedo have returned to punch me in the gut

I'm picturing a scenario where Rubedo comes across Albedo's s/o and they don't notice any difference, so they treat him just like they would Albedo and end up taking part in some intimate activities

And would you look at that, now he's in love with Albedo's partner too

Guess there's gonna be some sort of competition now :)

(Not a request, just brainrotting)

[Thirst]!

those two will be pulling each other's hair i can see it lol

oh poor ruebedo! drowning in your affections that was meant for your albedo. you didn't notice the star gone from his neck, the one you called pretty all the time when you compliment albedo. you approach him from the back with an embrace, nuzzling his hair and asking how his day has been. ruebedo tensed, unsure how to react. shit, it was albedo's lover. he can't be identified, he mustn't. so he tries, tries to act the way he believes albedo would act with you; turning around and hugging you back, burying his head in your chest and you're none the wiser, returning back his affection.

oh, tsk tsk, reader you're meanie! how dare you! you've captured his heart, all the while albedo was gone and he was in his place, he was spoiled with your love. your arm around him as he sits down with you on the couch (i know there's no couch in his lab but bear with me lol) and relaxing by the fire, you playing with his hair occasionally. you tell him about your day, saying how you missed him and wished he was by your side. rubedo was feeling warm, hot. the way you say it, it makes his stomach churn in want. how could albedo keep you from him? the way you caress him, telling him how you love him, makes jealousy burn inside him. he must have you, albedo can't! albedo doesn't deserve you! he's always away doing god knows what but he's here! he'll let you take him, he'll be yours!

so he takes action. he makes the first move, sitting on your lap and wrapping his arms around you and pulling you close, kissing you. you were taken aback at first as your albedo was shy when it comes to being intimate with you but you won't complain, you were excited more than anything, believing your "albedo" wants you.

one things leads to another and now we have ruebedo being fucked sensless on the couch, face buried in the pillow and eyes crossed as your hips thrust in a fast pace. "hghuk—! [name]! slo—slow down! you're gonna make me cum! i'll ohh— i'll cum!", you hips thrust faster, hips snapping against his ass and leaning down his ear, "go on, albedo, cum for me." ruebedo screams, in both frustration and pleasure, cum shooting out and ruining the couch below. as he catches his breath he thinks, he'll make you say his name.

after pulling out, you kiss his temple, praising how good he was for you. you help him lie down in a comfortable position and tell him you'll get him cleaned up. as you prepare a washcloth, you were unaware of the real albedo entering the cave, seeing his doppelgänger lying so comfortably on the couch and seethes. look like there's a pest he needs to take care of.

could've gone for a better route and have a threesome with both ruebedo and albedo but i like to see fights hehheheh maybe right after? tame them a bit and they'll be pliant. and to make them get along, you fuck their holes! <33 (should've done this tbh lmao)

[preciouslittle-bhaalbabe]

Not one to beg.

Soft, sweet and fluffy mostly plotless smut brainrot because these two have made a small hole in my brain and they won't stop kissing ;w;

(this is the first time i've ever legit written any kind of smut so be gentle, if you can)

Ft: Astarion x my durge Tomie

It had been a few weeks since the party. Since the night Astarion and Tomie spent together. Astarion thought it would be just the same as any other seduction. But it wasn't.

Her touch, her skin, her voice, her blood. He craved it like a drug. Not only that, but she made him feel truly wanted. Not just his body, but his company. His time. Every time he insisted they give her neck a break and go hunting, she was right there with him. Tail swishing back and forth excitedly. She could never hide how much she enjoys being around him. He hated it, but he knows he shares the same feelings. She feels like home in a way he hasn't felt in centuries.

When she did let him feed, the rush of desire that floods into him is nearly impossible to bear. He has to stifle moans and keep his body from needily pressing against hers. She must have felt it. There's no way she couldn't. But she never said anything. She hasn't tried to instigate intimacy once since that night. Despite the near constant flirting, small cheek kisses and innuendo exchanged between them. Astarion is shocked. Some nights he had to settle for his own hand just to alleviate the yearning. She was driving him insane and she had no idea. Or maybe she did, and this was all on purpose.

That sly little minx.

One night, Tomie delcared she will be going off to bathe in the nearby lake.

"Alright! Don't take too long, dinner is almost ready" Gale says.

Tomie nods and begins to walk towards the lakes direction with a small towel and some soap. Her tail swishes and she casts the quickest sly glance at Astarion. A hint of a smile on her pretty lips. He watches as she disappears into the treeline. That was the final straw.

"I'm going for a walk" Astarion says. Not waiting for a response from the others. Walking in the opposite direction of Tomie to not rise suspicion. He will double back once he's far enough away from the camp. A few moments of aimless wandering and racing thoughts. Should he do this? Was she avoiding it for a reason? But if that's the case, why would she be teasing him so much? Gods, it's like he can smell her from here. Warm, spicy, indulgent. But wait, how? Did she get hurt?His pace quickened from a casual stroll to a sprint. Now rushing towards the direction of the water he hears small curses and gasps of breath. Not wanting to scare her, he hides behind a tree and peeks at the scene ahead.

She was in her undergarments, washing her day clothes in the lake. She had accidentally sliced her hand a little with a rock. Nothing too serious. She cast heal wounds on it within moments and looked around, making sure the blood didn't draw any predators. Once content, she went back to washing her clothes in the water then wading in herself. Still in her underclothes. She closed her eyes and floated there for a while. Looking truly at peace.

It's now or never. Astarion emerges from a tree, just the same as he did the first time.

"There you are" He says.

"Oh! Hi Astarion! Come to do some washing?" Tomie asks. A sweet seemingly innocent smile on her face. But a small glint in her eye indicated to him that she knew EXACTLY what she was doing.

"Something like that. I was drawn to the scent of your blood, I wanted to make sure you were alright" He tries to add as much velvet to his voice as possible. He's done this thousands of times before. Why would this be any different?

"Such a worrywart, don't tell me you've started to care have you?" Tomie says. Her voice soft as silk, putting his seduction attempt almost to shame. Tomie effortlessly swims to the lakeshore and emerges from the water, dripping, her undergarments clinging to every curve. Her ivory hair wet and slicked back, effortlessly cascading down her shoulders. She was a vision. She gently shakes herself off a little then meets her eyes with his. Her bright red eyes and cat-like pupils shine in the moonlight. He had never noticed that her eyes glow like that before. She approaches him and he finds himself leaning his back against the very tree he was hiding behind. He felt almost dizzy.

"Now, why don't you tell me why you're really here?" Tomie purrs. Her hands behind her back, leaning forward slightly. Her tail slowly waving side to side.

"Well" Astarion scoffs. "Isn't it obvious??" He's supposed to be the seductive one. Making people swoon with just a few words. How is it that this woman flusters him so?

"Not to me. See, I prefer when someone is direct. I want to know exactly what you need from me" Tomie brushes her fingertips against his arm, sending tingles all the way through his body.

"Darling, I'm not one to beg but-"

"No no, I don't want you to beg. I just want you to tell me".

Tomie's torso is flush with his now. Her tail twitches with anticipation as she continues tracing her fingertips against his arm. Looking up at him sweetly. He takes a deep breath and sighs once he realises he hasn't been breathing since she came out of the lake.

He takes her hand and starts kissing each fingertip, Slightly cold from the water. He drops the sensual facade. Neither of them want this to be a performance. In between kisses he admits to himself and to her:

"I need to taste you again, to feel you, to indulge myself in you". He says. His voice earnest and wanting.

"I want the same" she says. There's a hint of relief in her tone as she wraps her arms around his neck. They both rest their foreheads against each other. With a deep sigh he places both his hands around her waist, running them up and down her curves.

"Then why didn't you say anything? I've been losing my mind these past weeks" Astarion says, his voice gentle and low, barely above a whisper.

"I...I never want you to do anything you don't want to do" She cups his face in her hands and rubs her thumbs along his cheekbones. He melts into the sensation. She moves her head back to look directly into his eyes. Her expression so sincere, so gentle.

"I noticed how distant your eyes looked last time, and I know your experiences with sex haven't been exactly...Pleasant. I wanted to wait until you were ready."

"You sweet, generous thing" He places a small pecks on her cheek and forehead while she giggles. In one swift motion, he ducks to the side and spins her around so now she's the one against the tree.

"Ha,déjà vu" Tomie giggles.

He's tired of waiting. He grabs the back of her head and presses his lips against hers. She wraps her arms back around his neck and gently runs her fingers through his hair. He presses his thigh between her legs, causing a soft, sweet moan to come out of her. He slowly removes his shirt in between deep kisses, and unbuttons her damp undershirt with swiftness and skill. He will never get used to that feeling of skin to skin. She is so warm, so soft. Several weeks of pent up desire flood through him as he explores every inch and curve of her body with his fingers. Low moans and growls come from deep within his chest. Finally, he releases her so she can catch her breath. Her lips are pink and puffy from the kisses, her cheeks and ears flush with blood and desire. She moves her hand from behind his neck to his face as he play bites at her fingers. Giving her one last deep kiss then trailing smaller kisses down to her neck, brushing some of her hair out of the way.

"May I, darling?" Astarion purrs.

"Of course, Astarion. Always."

"Gods, my name sounds so sweet coming from you".

Holding the back of her head steady, he licks and kisses the small puncture scars on her neck made from previous encounters. He gently bites down and starts drinking her life essence.

"Hmmph" He groans in pleasure with every swallow. He holds her closely against himself. Craving to touch as much of his skin to hers as he can. He feels the warmth of her blood spreading between both of their bodies. Her blood alone is enough to drive him to madness. He starts to feel the slight buzz he gets when full. He unlatches himself from her neck before he drinks too much, gently licking the beading blood from the wound and his lips.

*sigh* "You are delectable, you know that?"

"You've mentioned it once or twice" Tomie coos.

"You're alright?" Astarion says. "Not lightheaded or faint?" He holds her face in his hands and kisses her nose.

"I'm perfectly fine" Tomie smiles.

"Good. Now where were we?"

He resumes kissing her. The sweet copper taste from her blood still on his lips. They clumsily find a soft patch of grass and lie down, Astarion on top. He presses himself against her skin as if he can't get close enough. They start rolling against each other in a slow, melodic tempo. He doesn't want to rush. He stops kissing her and sits up for a moment. Taking her in. Her chest rising and falling with every breath. Lidded eyes full of love and desire. Her mouth slightly open and lips parted.

"I think I need to taste you again, my dear"

"Oh? I'm not sure I have enough blood for tha- ah!"

He kisses his way down to between her legs. Gently massaging her flesh, and kissing and biting her inner thighs. He slowly removes her underwear, damp with water and arousal, and moves his kisses closer to her aching sex. He looks up at her again from between her legs.

"May I, darling?" Astarion says with a smirk.

"Gods yes." Tomie says, breathless.

"Ah ah, yes what?" Astarion says coyly.

"Yes, Astarion".

A low moan comes from deep within him as he wraps his lips around her slit. His tongue slowly parting her lips to expose her clit. Her sweet juices covering his mouth within moments. He kisses and licks her clit slowly and gently, then with more force. Tomie starts to squirm and shake from the sensation. When he is sure she is about to go over the edge, he stops.

A dissapointed sigh comes from her.

"Don't worry darling, I'm not going to leave you hanging".

He removes his pants and exposes is throbbing length, sopping wet from arousal. He comes back up to meet her lips and presses deep kisses against her. He brings his elbows up to prop himself up while cradling her head. He hooks his leg under hers and brings it upwards. Then slowly slides the head of his cock between her slit tentatively. Rocking back and forth. A frusterated moan comes from her between kisses and with a laugh, he decides they've both had enough teasing. He finally slides himself in. A small whimper threatens to escape from his lips.

"Gods, never make me wait that long again, my dear" Astarion says breathless.

"Never again" Tomie moans.

They rock together in smooth motions, slowly at first then increasing in speed and desperation. Tomie pushes against him and they roll over so that Astarion is now lying on his back.

"You don't have to do all the work you know. Let me spoil you for once" Tomie purrs.

She slides herself back onto his length and begins to thrust her hips in rhythmic motion. Astarion places his hands on her hips to keep them steady. She looks stunning riding on top of him like this. Taking him in completely. She leans forward and they continue to rock and kiss against each other. Small whimpers come from Astarion as he grips her tighter. Thrusting more vigorously. She can't hold herself back anymore and rides into her orgasm. Legs shaking slightly and her pussy pulsing against his throbbing cock. He's not far behind, they both moan into each others mouths between kisses as they pass over the edge of bliss. Tomie collapses onto Astarions chest as they both giggle. Astarion wraps his arms around her and strokes her back. They both stay silent for a few moments. Cuddling into each other and slowing their breaths down.

"So, what do you think Gale made for dinner?" Tomie asks, looking up at him. Astarion lets out a hearty laugh.

"I don't know, but I'm sure it's nothing compared to the meal I just had."

Tomie giggles, then relaxes back onto his chest. He doesn't quite know what they are, or what he's feeling. But he does know that this? This is nice.

[dronebiscuitbat]

Oil is Thicker Then Blood (Part 22)

Uzi did finally get that baby bag.

It wasn't much, a glorified swaddle made from a purple blanket that wrapped around her torso so that Tera could rest at her side without pulling while she walked around. It had been almost scary, she'd seen new mothers walk around with them all the time when she was younger.

And now… here she was, baby strapped to her side as she went home. Home as in, her dad's apartment, her apartment, or maybe not anymore, after today.

N had gone off to pick up the newly made crib early that morning, yes morning. Neither of them had needed to go outside for a least a week, and they're schedules were starting to cycle back into what other drones would consider normal.

But even then it gave them a little time to talk about how raising Tera was going to work.

Her room in her apartment was too small to raise a baby in, it was almost too small for her, with stuff just shoved unceremoniously wherever there was room. It was too messy, and dangerous! Her railgun was still in peices on the couch, and while it was broken there were still several parts that could discharge and hurt someone.

Which left N's apartment, which had plenty of room, as it was nearly empty, he'd brought in the very little stuff he owned (blankets, pillows and plush toys) but all of that easily fit in the bedroom with plenty of room to spare.

Plenty of room for her stuff.

And that thought on it's own made her fluster, they'd spent plenty of nights together, especially recently. But it had always been under the pretense that she'd be going back home eventually. That she didn't live there.

Robo-god she was about to see her dad. Her dad which had zero context for what she was about to unleash on him. That her and N were together now, that he had a granddaughter, that she was… moving out.

So much had happened this week. Hell, so much had been happening almost every week. And all of it was stressful, wether it be life threatening or just life changing, it seemed like after years of nothing happening, it was all catching up with her with everything happening at once.

“Doorman?” A voice she recognized, a voice she really didn’t want to see, preferably ever, but especially not right now, with Tera awake and babbling from her bag.

“What is it Lizzy?” She deadpanned, not bringing any attention to the baby strapped to her side even though that was clearly what caught the other drones attention, her pink eyes locked to the bag in surprise.

“Oh shit, that was actually your kid?” Lizzy immediately asked, making Uzi roll her eyes as she remembered that Lizzy was the one that had initially exposed her.

“Yup. This is Tera.” Admitting it at first felt strange, like her tongue had wanted to reject it, but it quickly settled into contentment, yeah, this was right. And honestly, trying to make Lizzy feel bad about something felt too good to say anything else.

“I had wanted to keep some things private, but somebody took a picture of us bringing her home.” Yeah she wasn't going to let Lizzy get away with that without a jab or two, she'd caused a bigger headache than what was already happening, and Uzi was itching for some revenge, even if it was just light teasing.

“Oh come on! Like you wouldn't have done the same thing.” She snapped back, although she sounded less bratty than usual, although wether that was V's influence or the fact a baby was present was unclear.

“Snapped a picture, totally, blackmail is blackmail, immediately post it to every inbox in range… No.” She replied, not wanting this conversation to last much longer than it had to, she didn't particularly like Lizzy, her being a main source of her suffering for a long time.

She just needed to get that jab in.

Lizzy just scoffed, looking her up and down and crossing her arms as if searching for something, probably something else to mock her for, Uzi found herself rolling her eyes again, turning to walk away from her and the conversation before Lizzy started talking again.

“Sorry or whatever, I thought you were just babysitting or something. Didn't think it'd be a big deal.”

Holy Shit, was Lizzy apologizing?

“Uh.” Honestly Uzi wasn't sure how to respond, she'd wanted her to feel bad sure, but she wasn't sure if that was even possible, and she'd never in a million years think she'd be hearing Lizzy apologize.

“Yeah, sure.” Is what came defensively out of her mouth as she walked away, Tera blew a raspberry at Lizzy from the bag, giggling when she got pink hollow eyelights in return.

Okay, so maybe she could keep her edginess and still be motherly figure to Tera, that hadn't occurred to her as an option, a part of her thought she'd become a different person, and maybe she was around N and Tera behind closed doors, but here? She didn't feel soft, she felt like she always did, slightly bitter, like licorice.

She passed more drones on her way, some didn't seem to notice her which was absolutely fine with her, but some definitely did, stopping and staring at the neighborhood goth carrying around a giggling baby in a cute little purple swaddle.

She could understand why they were staring, it was quite the image, but it didn't mean she had to like it.

Tera on the other hand was loving the attention, each set of eyelights on her produced another laugh and some rolling that had Uzi holding the side of the bag so she wouldn't roll out onto the floor.

One drone was a little too obvious for Uzi's liking, staring at the bag like it would suddenly come to life and harm him.

“Hey! Stop staring and mind your business!” She turned to the guy, who immediately looked scared out of his mind, his purple eyelights hollowing as he nodded.

“Yes ma’am sorry!” He raised his hands before scampering away with his tail between his legs, if he had one, that is.

She smirked a little before moving on, it was a powerful feeling, to scare someone off, and it was satisfying as well, she didn't like the way he was looking at her baby.

She finally, finally reached where she wanted to be, well not wanted, she wanted to be anywhere else. But where she needed to be.

She knocked. Which was weird because it was her door, she had the key to get in whenever she wanted. But it still felt like the right thing to do at the moment, she heard shuffling from the other side of the heavy steel, great, her dad was home.

Her dad, the one who'd left her to die, the one who left her alone to cry herself to sleep after her mother died, the main reason her core had such heavy shielding protecting the softness inside. Why her first instinct to any problem was to yell at it, or turn to science to better choose violence.

She held a lot of resentment towards him, something she'd shown time and time again, a part of her wanting to hurt him the same way he'd been hurting her. But she could never bring herself to hate him, not when she did still have memories of him being a halfway decent father, holding her when she'd have nightmares, giving her piggyback rides, being the first one to teach her about mechanics, and give her her first toolset.

“Coming!” Khan shouted, he'd been drafting of some blueprints. Not of doors, but of something for N, if he wanted it.

A cap for his tail, made out of solid steel and form fitting, so it slid right over the needle, it was just a concept for now, he didn't have the exact measurements of his tail and he wasn't even sure N would want something like that, he seemed to have good control over it. But if Khan had a tail with a stinger, he'd want to make sure his infant daughter couldn't accidentally grab it, just to be safe.

So really it was gift for Tera, but, nonetheless.

He opened the door, surprised to see his daughter of all drones knocking, she never knocked, she lived here!

“Uzi? Why'd you knock? Did you lose your key?” He tilted his head in confusion before his eyes followed the strap of the baby bag, he blinked, and tiny purple eyelights blinked back.

“I-is that?” His voice almost immediately turned warbly, he didn't hadn't ever seen Tera before, he didn't realize how much she looked like his daughter, at least when she was also a pillbaby.

“That's Tera Dad, can I- can I come in?” Her voice sounded muted, not like the fiery rebellious drone he'd come to know as his daughter, he moved out of the way wordlessly, eyes still trained on the tiny droneling at her side.

She was giggling at him, rolling madly in an attempt to escape her confines, Uzi dipped her arm into the bag and lifted her up into her arms.

“Stop squirming Jellybean, or you're gonna fall.”

Tera was just happy for the attention attempting to roll more even though she was trapped in Uzi's hands. She sighed.

“Sorry, she has a lot of energy.” She smiled warily at her dad, who looked like his core had been ejected and thrown halfway across the room.

All he could see was his wife, the first month or two they had Uzi and she was a cryer, there were no moments of silence in the Doorman household, if Uzi was left alone for even a millisecond she'd begin to wail which meant either Nori or himself would have to be with her at all hours.

And Uzi shared her mother's stress lines, looking a little bit worn out but satisfied and happy, eye's shining with so much raw affection for the child in her arms that Khan knew, without another word spoken, that he had a granddaughter.

“That's quite alright dronelette…” He managed to force out the words, hopefully without sounding too strained, he wanted Uzi to feel comfortable enough to talk to him, to tell him things. Even if she thought he didn't like it.

And a part of him didn't, she was 18, not quite even an adult yet but her birthday was coming up soon. And dammit she was still his daughter, watching her grow up this much in such a little amount of time was harrowing, and only reminded him of how much he'd missed while wallowing in his grief.

Another part of him was almost giddy, a granddaughter, a granddaughter, it was honestly something he never even hoped to have, Uzi had never been one to make freinds, much less romantic connections.

“Yeah- uh, this is Tera, N's daughter.” She repeated, obviously nervous and tired. Khan wondered if N looked equally run down. And if perhaps Tera was the same level of clingy Uzi had been.

“I wanted you to meet her, since I've been spending so much time with the both of them…”

He could only bring himself to smile and nod, but wanted to freeze as Uzi came toward him and outstretched her arms, he clumsily stepped forward and took the tiny droneling into his arms, core stopping for a moment.

“She learns names pretty quick, oh, and she's a hugger, so uh, beware.” She warned, still seemingly nervous, he was sure he'd know exactly why soon, although he had a feeling he might already know.

Khan looked down at the baby, which felt like lead in his hands as she smiled up at him, weirdly silent considering all the babbling he'd just heard.

“Tera, this is Khan.” Uzi spoke softly to the baby, standing beside her father as he looked like he was about keel over. “He's my dad.”

Tera's smile grew bigger, although she didn't attempt to say his name, perhaps more than a single letter was too much for her. Instead she blew a goofy raspberry, rolling around in his arms for a moment before rolling into him, giving him a hug.

Tears sprung up in his eyes as something in his core snapped, he held her closely, and a sniffle escaped his voice box before he could stop himself.

“Dad?” Uzi sounded slightly worried for him, she'd known he'd might have some kind of reaction to seeing Tera, but this was a little more then she'd expected.

“I-I'm alright! I just-” He blinked away the tears and tried to steel himself, thoughts running a mile a minute. “I see why you warned me. Hah…”

“Yeah… you should have seen V, you could see the exact second her core melted.” Khan only could nod, the droneling now pressed up against him made a chirping noise, happy and content at any love given to her.

“But ah…that's uh, not the only reason I came here, just to… introduce you to a droneling that… that you're not gonna see often. You are gonna see her often, A-at least I hope you do, C-cause she's not just N's… she's-she's mine… too.” She rambled and sputtered as she tried to find the words to say, Khan felt himself smiling as she continued, she was expressing a want to have him around, that he wouldn't be mad. That'd he'd want to be-

“She's your granddaughter… dad.” She finished, looking more stressed then ever, like he could ever possibly tell her that he didn't want to be in her life anymore.

He winced as he remembered all the times he did indirectly. Leaving her alone so he could throw himself into another project, neglecting the one person he still had as family simply because she looked too much like Nori to look in the eye.

And she really looked like her now.

He looked back down at Tera, at his granddaughter, and felt himself begin to tear up again. She was smiling at him, babbling and cooing up at him as he launched forward and hugged his daughter with all his might.

He felt her tense, then, thankfully, she relaxed, mindful of the child as she curled up in his arms much like she did when she was little, and she'd needed comfort from a nightmare. He felt her visor press against his chest, breathing shaky, like she herself was about to cry.

How could he have left her, how? What kind of parent was he that he left his own daughter? What kind of man?

And how could she have ever forgiven him? He knew he could never forgive himself.

“I'm sorry dronelette, I'm so so sorry.” He cracked out, petting her hair, he felt some kind of pressure on his back, her hand most likely, and she almost laughed, though it sounded pained.

“I'm still… so angry at you.” She admitted, slowly, though not pulling away. And he felt more pained steel settle in his core, he deserved this… whatever she needed to say. If she needed curse at him, to hit him even, he'd deserve it, although he hoped she wouldn't in front of Tera.

“But I missed you more.”

And thats all it took for them both to sob like newborns, her face burying into his shoulder as she let years worth of coiled pain escape her, despite all she'd done, how much she'd grown, she was still 18, still much a kid herself.

And they remained like that for some time, at least until Tera got uncomfortable being sandwiched between them and began to fuss, which finally ended the long overdue hug between father and daughter.

“H-here, give her to me.” She stammered out, either slightly embarrassed or still a little emotional, and Khan did as he was told, handing daughter back to mother.

She rocked her until she stopped fussing, and Khan led them both to the couch with his hand, still recovering himself.

She flopped on the couch like she carried the entire weight of the world on her shoulders, Tera held gingerly until she was placed between them do she could freely roll around, which she did happily.

“I'm assuming that means N is my son in law now?” He chuckled out, trying to lighten the somewhat oppressive mood that had settled over them. She blushed heavily, sputtering out a surprised response.

“We're not- he's- uh… He's my… boyfriend now yeah.”

He laughed, even though he saw it coming a mile away, he thought he might be more upset about it then he was, but N had more than proven Uzi was his priority, even over himself at times.

“And you need help moving your stuff out?” He continued, smiling through the small amount of pain the thought caused him, she was growing up, but if that hug had shown him anything, she still needed her dad, and he couldn't ignore that, he wouldn't, not anymore.

Next ->

[sugar-omi]

Ahhh I'm sorry! One more 3am horny story idea because I just need to get these out of my head! (I hope you don't mind <3) But this one would more be about DILF!Cove/ Older!Cove, because any younger and he might die from blushing so hard... But Cove has to go away for a business trip for like a week. Which would be fine, but the night before he is scheduled to come back you are incredibly horny. So you set yourself up on your bed, using whatever toys you need to start. Maybe you're using a vibe against your aching clit, trying to imagine Cove's expert mouth against it... Or you're jerking yourself off in one of his shirts - one he wore before he went on his trip (you really had to do laundry soon). You're just sitting there on the bed, trying to get off as your surround yourself in his scent, that citrus oceany smell that will always be his... trying to remember what it would be like if he was there touching you. He has only been gone a week but you're so down bad! God you can't help but let his name spill from your lips as your try to get off... Anyways, you're so deep in your imaginations that you don't hear the bedroom door creak open before carefully being closed. It's not until a deep voice clears his throat that you look up, seeing Cove standing by the door, his blue eyes dark as he stares down at you and your exposed sex. "Miss me?" He would be so cocky and smug (only an older version. I think step 4 Cove would still be a bit of a blushy mess) As embarrassed as you are to be caught, you can't help but nod and blush deep. You move to stop but you see him shake his head, "No, continue. Pretend I'm not here." To your surprise he drops his suitcase to the side before sitting in the bedroom chair (one that's covered in clothes that aren't too dirty to wash, but aren't clean), shifting it so it's facing you. He begins palming his obvious erection through his jeans, giving you a smug and blushing grin. "I wanna see what you do while I'm gone." Needless to say, once you pick your jaw up off the ground from the shock, you give him a show. I bet it wouldn't take long for Cove to break from the act of just watching before he has to have his hands on you and show you how it's really done ;) God it was only a week but he missed you so much as well ~ ☕️ (ok, maybe now I can sleep???) (BEST OF LUCK WITH SCHOOL WORK I HOPE YOU HAVE A WONDERFUL WEEK)

I LOVE YOU ANON. I AM OBSESSED W YOUR BRAIN OH MY GOD YES.... this is what i imagine daily. hourly. secondly.

DILF!cove is a cocky bastard, he's always so sweet and loving, still reserved but he's confident. but when it comes to you, he can get so arrogant.

in a cute or sexy way of course, only when you're looking absolutely heavenly and he needs to makes sure you know how much he appreciates and loves you.

and when he walks in on you in his shirt, furiously working your sex trying to achieve that satisfying, delicious orgasm that you can only get from him.. of course his ego is stroked.

he loves it, your box of toys are out, a couple different toys at your side, clearly used and abandoned. and you're in his shirt, knees up as you press the vibrator against your sex, tears in your eyes and your slick ruining the bed sheets / cum staining his shirt and your tummy.

you look so pathetic and sweet.

sits and watches how you pathetically use the toy on your sex or finger/stroke yourself, all whiny and desperate, begging him to stop playing around and makeup for lost time....

i need to write this now. jfc. im writing this down, i need this ferally.. i hope you got some good sleep anon, thank you for the brainrot 🫡 i hope you have an amazing week, lovely <3333

[bringbacktim]

Anal? No one's doing anal

I'm having a Jschlatt brainrot rn so expect more imagines than anyone wants , feel free to request anything

Synopsis: schlatt and y/n are putting together a desk , but it sounds inappropriate to Charlie outside the room , he gets worried like any friend would

Warnings:mentions of anal , hurt , sexual intercourse, innuendos, a whole lot of whacky stuff , not proofread or edited

Word count: 806 words

The only things that charlie could hear from the outside of the OTK office/filming room were things that would definitely give him nightmares and make him avoid Schlatt and Y/n for the foreseeable future

Who said I can't put this fucking thing in that hole " schlatt said practically shouting out of anger

"Me ! , for the hundredth time it shouldn't go there no matter how much you ask" his girlfriend answered

"Tell me that doesn't look like it'll fit in there"

"I am not turning around , I know I'm right . Now hurry up before Charlie or Ted get back"

Charlie was torn between making some loud noise and hoping they'd stop whatever they sound like they're doing or running away and never speaking to them again

He did neither out of pure terror and instead pulled out his phone to text Ted to see if this was some skit or some prank they were playing or whether they were actually doing that in the studio where they filmed

'Hey dude, do you know what Y/n and Shclatt are doing in the studio?' He texted simply not bothering to beat around the bush

'Anal by the sounds of it , but I have no clue, didn't want to know to be honest'

Charlie really didn't want the first bit to be true , especially since he was only there to hold one of the cameras while they filmed stuff . He was getting way more than he bargained for

'Gross , don't joke about that or it'll come true' he replied a grimace on his face

'They've been at it for a solid half hour , they should be done soon don't worry man'

'Don't worry man ? You clearly aren't hearing this' charlie scoffed at Ted's audacity

'I escaped with minimal trauma thankfully' he could feel Ted's smugness through the screen

'And you didn't think to take me with you?'

'Didn't know if they wanted you to film it'

'You're disgusting nivison' and with that he put his phone back in his pocket and tried to plan what he was going to do next

"I fucking told you that wouldn't fit, are you done trying yet ?"

"It's going to fit I don't care what you say you god damn bitch"  at that charlie knew he had to do something for the safety of his friends

So he did what anyone would do and knocked on the door rather harshly to make sure he was heard

"Yeah , uh kinda busy" He heard y/n say

"I know you guys are in love , but that's a recording room . Also are you okay ?"

"Yeah fine just pissed at this furniture" schlatt admitted

"Schlatt!" Y/n said scolding him

"Are you both decent? Can I come in?"

"Yeah why wouldn't we be" they both simultaneously spoke

The situation he opened the door to was definitely not what he was expecting, but in a good way

They were just trying to put a new coffee table together to replace the one Schlatt broke in the previous recording

"Oh thank god" Charlie said with a hand over his heart as he breathed a sigh of relief "we thought you were doing anal"

"Anal? No one's doing anal , I'm not allowed to anymore" that comment earned him a firm slap to the chest

"Please stop talking, for my sake" charlie begged

At that charlie showed them the texts him and Ted had sent and they put the pieces together

"Oh charlie I'm so sorry you heard that , we just wanted to surprise you with the new coffee table before the next video" y/n apologised to her friend as her boyfriend loudly laughed next to her

"That's so fucking funny man , how did we not realise" he said wiping a tear from his eye "you look so terrified man" he said still laughing and using Charlie's shoulder as a stabilizer

"Is that why ted left?" Y/n asked shocked that everyone thought they were doing such a thing "this is so embarrassing and it's all your fault" she said pointing at her boyfriend who broke the table in the first place

"You have to admit that it's kinda funny" he said turning to face his girlfriend as Charlie called Ted and told him he can come back

"Charlie has the worst luck when it comes to us" she said sympathy evident in her voice "remember when he walked in on us in Ted's bathroom at that party"

"Be thankful it was him and not Ted" this earned him a middle finger in his direction

"What a wacky day it's been" Ted said entering the room they all were in

"You haven't been here for half of it " charlie accused as they chatted about what to film next

[scekrex]

fuck me ive been having brainrot

adam who flirts with his partner to watch their face go gold

(as a poc person he would adore it since gold looks amazing on us)

You've already read this but I had to turn that into a little something hehehehe

Gold is a divine color, luckily you're the most divine person to exist

pairing: Adam x male!reader

warnings: language & sexual tension

note: beta read by @drxgonspine

Adam loved complimenting you, not only because it let you know how he thought of you, but also because the golden blush that always crept up your neck so easily until it reached your cheeks looked absolutely gorgeous on you.

When he had first figured out that the winner's blood was golden - a pure and divine color - he had thought of it as useless, unnecessary and a stupid decision made by God, because what was the point of changing somebody’s blood color anyways? But oh how that view on this changed when he met you - the most divine angel to walk heaven’s streets. He had never really put any thought into the fact that a changed blood color would also mean that the blush on the winner's skins would appear gold instead of red-pink ish.

But then he had flirted with you - at first it had been an act of getting your attention with no real meaning behind those words, he had flirted with plenty of people before. Yes, most of them had been women and yes, it was way harder for a dude - especially a dude like Adam - to hit on other men, but you? With you it felt so natural to be flirty.

“Sup Shawty,” he cockily grinned as he wrapped his arm around your shoulder lazily as if it had always meant to be that way, a slight golden blush spread on your cheeks, yet it was so light that the normal eye would have easily missed it if the person would not have been focusing on it.

Adam though, had been focusing on the beautiful blush - he had been for a while now. That was also why he knew that it was so easy to cause that blush to appear because even after years and years of being in a relationship, that was one thing that had never changed. “Shut up,” you mumbled as you turned your face away from the first man, your wing coming up to shield your side in order to block his view.

Adam was very much not having it though.

“No need to hide your handsome face, babes, I know what your ass looks like when it gets all flustered,” the stupidly cocky grin was not leaving his face for even the slightest moment, in fact it only grew as you raised your wing even more and ducked down your head to properly hide behind white feathers.

“Adam,” you hissed in an alarming tone, making it clear that he should better shut his mouth. Not that you were truly minding it, but you knew he was just teasing and you were having none of it, not when you desperately wanted your body to stop doing what it was doing giving Adam the pleasure he was seeking in seeing you blushing.

“Oh c’mon, we both know you like it,” the brunette leaned in as he effortlessly pushed your wing aside so that his lips were brushing against your ear as he continued to speak, “You’re such a handsome fucker, you should not hide behind those stupid feathers.”

The blush that had only been spreading on your cheeks at first was now slowly creeping down your neck, all the way down to the top of your chest, painting you in the most angelic color Adam was ever allowed to lay eyes onto. A golden tan was covering your skin, causing you to look pure - well, purer than you normally looked. “Fucking love it when ya get all flustered over some words,” he hummed in your ear, his voice suddenly sounding deeper than just a moment before - you were done. He had you exactly where he wanted you and he made it obvious that he would not back down, not when the golden flush looked so divine on you.

No, he wanted to keep that look on your skin for as long as possible. The fact that his words made you feel good about yourself was a nice side effect in his eyes.

You forcefully grabbed Adam by his collar, yanking him down further until he was on your eye level as you hissed, “Listen bitch, if you start something, you’ll fucking finish it, got that?” The grin on Adam’s lips remained and it was driving you insane in the best way possible. You were aware that his only goal was to watch you get flustered and blushy, but God knew he also loved to rile you up. A thing you could not deny: you were quite easy to rile up - at least for Adam because somehow that man knew exactly how to push your buttons and get you where he wants you. “Is that supposed to be a threat, hotstuff,” his lips were brushing against yours as he spoke, “Or is it an invitation?”

[sytoran]

𝐓𝐀𝐔𝐍𝐓.

completely and entirely based on 'taunt' by lovejoy.

──── ☕ pairing. wanda maximoff x gn!reader

──── ☕ cont. high school/college!au, gn!reader, angst, hurt no comfort, implied sexual references, homophobia, "best friends", unrequited love, vision's an ass, you deserve better, but i had to do it, wanda's nose-scrunch is a recurring theme, look me in the eyes and tell me i'm wrong for that.

──── ☕ note. my angst brainrot with wanda maximoff. she's kinda-but-not-realy-but-yea homophobic (???) i'm so sorry, for once i capitalize my words but only this time for uniformity

masterlist / AO3

The first time you see Wanda Maximoff, you think she’s taunting you.

She's always asking, "Am I alright?"

As if auspicious or in my pint

She stares at you from across the classroom. Iridescent, mischievous, calculating. You blink slowly. What do you want? Your eyes ask. Hers don’t answer.

I'll find the answer or a good night

Thank God the time is short

The moment ends before your brain can wrap itself around the situation. Those eyes flicker away. You swear you’re hallucinating, but it was the Wanda Maximoff that just stared at you for a moment too long, right?

Popular but in a cool way, dark but humorous, casual but breathtaking — that Wanda Maximoff, right?

And, yes, you always do that one thing

When you wrinkle up the nose bridge

The next time you see Wanda Maximoff, she’s not standing that far away at all. Instead, right up next to you. Almost delving into your personal space.

She’s just curious. That’s all, you tell yourself. It was a coincidence that she sat there, a matter of circumstance.

Her books have crossed that line of boundaries, chair a little too close. Her elbow is merely an inch from yours. It’s really nothing.

You shrug it off, because Wanda hasn’t said a single word to you.

The redhead’s response comes in nothing more than a nose-scrunch.

I'm trying to figure out what that meant

Wrinkling her nose bridge, eyes narrowed in a bitten-back chortle, glimmering with amusement. You follow her line of vision in silent contemplation.

You freeze when you see her fingers tracing the pride sticker on your file.

Fingertips, scratching the already fading sticker. The nose-scrunch doesn’t seem that friendly anymore.

A rainbow becomes a sea of black. A coldness washes over you.

I took it as a taunt

After that incident, the two of you never did speak for nearly five months. High school graduation happened soon after, and then Wanda Maximoff tasted like a distant memory.

Remember way back then in school?

It’s less history, and more present. Truth or dare, college classes.

You never thought you’d see her again, to be honest, but life swung by however it pleased. Apparently, life swung towards inexplicably alluring women.

Of course, Wanda being Wanda, had taken the dare for nearly every single round.

Oh, did anybody ever say no to you? Woah

A drinking challenge, with Steve Rogers, who tapped out three rounds before her. Done.

Did anybody ever say no to you? Woah

A tattoo, from the shitty parlor down the street. Done.

And I don't think I have a clue

The word ‘kiss’ falls from Valkyrie’s lips before you can help it, because it’s Wanda’s turn again and you’re a hopeless fool.

Wanda’s been dared to kiss you.

'Cause, well, did anybody ever say no to you?

‘Levitating’ by Dua Lipa has never felt heavier. The music is ringing in your ears. Cheers turn into wolf-whistles, turn into chants. Your skin prickles.

Oh, did anybody ever say no to you? Woah

You couldn’t say no to her.

Before Wanda can brush off with a charming smile that no, you’re not comfortable with it, or before her eyes can bring up bitter memories from three years ago — you pull her into a kiss.

A hand resting on her annoyingly soft cheek. Your thumb finds the divine urge to run over her flushed cheeks and sharp cheekbones, but restraint pushes you back.

When you break from the kiss, your eyes are unsettled, because why did that feel good? You ignore the hoots from your friends, instead send a slow smile to the flustered mess that was Wanda.

You could taunt her as well.

You're always trying to leave the table

Phone calls, toilet breaks, unstable

Wanda Maximoff is not fine.

She has not been, since she started dating Jarvis. You don’t care, you really don’t.

But when he drops her hand and brushes her off mid-speech, you think you might find the strength in you to break a neck.

I’m fine, Wanda insists. I’m happy, so you can leave me alone. For once. Just ‘cause you’re gay doesn’t mean everyone is, alright?

Swallowing down a lump in your throat, you walk away with defiant eyes and a trembling bottom lip.

Wanda’s a good liar.

And don't you think that we can all tell?

You're insecure, you're insecure

Wanda Maximoff, to you, is shitty diners, and expired bubblegum, and late night car drives to quiet lakes.

Under the prerequisite of friends, that is.

I guess I always do that one thing

When I get too drunk and jump in

You don’t mean it, you really don’t, when your fist flies and happens to knock into Jarvis’ nose on a hot Wednesday night.

He’s just been such a bitch to Wanda, and she’s just your best friend, you know, but there’s a line — there’s a line that you have every right to cross when he forgets her birthday, and she starts crying, and he gets mad.

To figure out what makes your brain tick

You don’t hold yourself back from spitting a snarl of foul words when Jarvis shoves past you. Wanda’s yelling at you, but you’re too tired to care.

Even Tony, so obstinate and so proud, gives you a sympathetic smile.

You’ve never hit a harder rock bottom.

I'm a listener, I'm a listener

When Wanda breaks down into your arms later that night, body wracking with heavy sobs and gasps for air, you listen.

You let her punch your shoulder, then you stroke her back, and whisper sweet nothings into her ear. It was all you’d ever be.

Until she pushed you down onto that rackety bed, meeting your lips along the way. Iridescent, mischievous, miscalculated.

Forget the number for the cab call

As you're dashing out the front door

The next morning is a rush, with Wanda grabbing this after that, saying that she was sorry, and she’d make it up to you. She also calls you a reliable friend, and you want to sink into the depths of darkholds.

She was halfway out the door before you opened your eyes.

You claim to try to dodge the catcalls

Exactly one week later, when you see Jarvis pushing Wanda up against the wall, your heart collapses in on itself.

She was your first love, and you were her little taunt.

Thank God the time is short

Weeks fly by, but it feels strangely quick. You’ve grown numb to the sights of Wanda and her stupidly pretty boyfriend.

And, yes, you always do that one thing

An informal college graduation party, at the same shitty diner with the same shitty pop music.

You don’t really know what you’re doing when you pull a pretty girl into a kiss, after about five minutes of flirting and fifty minutes of alcohol.

'Cause when you throw and drench me under your drink

Cranberry juice stains your white shirt in a few moments. You break away from the kiss, hardly surprised to see Wanda Maximoff with her face redder than her flaming hair, a now-emptied glass about to snap in her hands.

I'm trying to figure out what that means

You can’t feel, not when she was everything to you but you were nothing more than a friend.

“What’s the big issue?” you had drawled, eyes narrowed as you surveyed Wanda with a painfully indifferent expression. “Friends can kiss each other, right?”

The silence is loud.

Wanda’s nose scrunches, a painful imprintment into your godforsaken memory, and a dagger is stabbed into your gut because this time, because you know she's trying not to cry.

Her nose is scrunching, not because she's taunting you, but because she's blinking back tears, and her bottom lip is trembling so much. So, so much.

It’s stupid, the way you’re holding back tears yourself — you want to shout, and scream, because what did you fucking do to deserve the way she treated you.

But you join in with your friends on the cruel laughter, because you don’t know what else to do. Because she was never yours.

The last time you see Wanda Maximoff, you know she’s not taunting you, but you so desperately want to believe she is.

I took it as a taunt

taglist: @natashamaximoff69 @ohsugar-honey-iced-tea @fayhar @bibliophilicbi @screechcat @rowanyaboats @nahnahnahwhat @the-night-owl-blr @matchasrad @wannabe-fic-reader @natsxwife @wandsmxmff @enanna-h @jemilyswhor3 wanna be added to the taglist to see more works like this? leave an ask in my inbox! if by any chance you want to be removed from the taglist, also leave an ask in my inbox.

i was not fine when i wrote this. i'm going through my depressed arc because i'll never be truly accepted by my parents (bawls)

the fancy line breaks are from @u-uwin

masterlist / AO3

[moseslikellamas]

♱𖣂 Redfork Menace ♱𖣂 pt.7

Benjicot Blackwood x Bracken!OC

Summary - Captured at last, Shanda must endure her imprisonment.

Warnings - fem!reader, suspense, mentions of injuries, adult language, period typical misogyny, condescension, adult language, complicated family dynamics, feud behavior, misplaced rage, feelings of guilt, manipulation benjicot brainrot, Kieran Burton fancast.

Word count - 2.4k

This chapter was fun to write because the mc is sooo delulu. Girl get a grip, wake up! And also bc very shortly the dramatic opera of court will be here!

Benjicot led her inside, to curious looks inside the castle. There were significantly more signs of life inside this great hall. And as her cursed luck would have it, full of people. Dinner was in full swing and upon their entrance the music stopped and it fell eerily quiet. Mercifully they did not linger, striding quickly through the room and into another. Shanda’s heart was pounding. Her hands had grown slick with sweat and she felt lightheaded. She’d never been a prisoner before. Benjicot was wholly unaware of her falling apart on the inside as he led her deeper and deeper into the castle.

She kept thinking about Martyn and the horrible pale look he’d had on his face. And now here she was, stuck inside the enemies castle. There was no telling when she would see him again. And it was a when, she reminded herself, not an if. This whole thing was a ridiculous farce. What proof could he possibly offer up to condemn her? It wasn’t illegal to cross the fucking river, Lord Grover Tully had ordained it so. Though, his word seemed to hold less and less weight as his health declined. His heir, Elmo had even less patience for the feuding houses. “You’re all river landers, gods be damned. Start acting like it!” She could still hear his angry voice shouting, only weeks ago.

Shanda wondered as they walked deeper in the stone walls that weaved in an endless maze of nonsensical turns, if whatever reason had started the feud had been worth it. She’d pondered this many times over her life, always coming away with a different answer depending on the mood of the conflict. Usually she would brush it off, it doesn’t matter why it started. The Blackwoods are bloodthirsty savages now. Who they were or what they might’ve done was nothing to her. She was concerned with weeping maidens found on the road between the two, with mutilated animals strewn across the borderlands. She was concerned with the vile, smug, holier than thou attitude they used to bully others. Hiding behind their “old gods” and feeding blood to the cursed roots of their idol.

The man in front of her had pulled up short so suddenly she bumped into him, so lost in her thoughts was she. He’d used a hand to steady her, before knocking on the door they’d come to a stop in front of.

“Coming!” There was the sound of something knocking over, a bowl maybe, before the door unlocked and a smiling girl answered the door.

Upon viewing the company waiting for her the smile slid right off of her face and was replaced with a scowl.

“Oh. Right. Go away, Benjicot.”

“That’s no way to introduce yours-“

As he tried to reply, the dark haired woman had grabbed her wrist and pulled her inside before slamming the door shut. Through it he could be heard saying, “You’re an adult Alysanne!”

To which she replied quietly to Shanda, “And he’s an ass.” She smiled brightly at her, then crossed back to continue whatever she was doing before.

“No need to worry. This whole trial,” She waved her hand about, trivializing it. “is nothing but men waving their dicks about. Nothing to do with you.”

Shanda awkwardly shifted her weight before deciding to walk over to her. She’d been painting, and the sound earlier had been paint hitting the floor.

“Shouldn’t you hate me by name alone then?”

“Maybe. Reputation is one thing to judge a person by, name another. But so too their words and deeds. All are a measure of a person, wouldn’t you agree?”

Speaking obvious truths was a method for opening a conversation for deeper topics. State something easily agreed upon, then ease into the disagreements. This did not escape her mind as she agreed.

“Of course. But words are wind and autumn approaches.”

If this was a dick measuring contest then the prize was timber, and flint. She knew how much it was costing her family to house their men, how many shipments they needed to survive. The Blackwoods numbers were similar to their and always had been. She knew they wanted more, to encroach across the river. That was the problem with appeasing beasts, their hunger never satiated. She thought again of Martyn and Royce, a harsh pang ripping through her. Why should they suffer so much over felled trees? She pushed those thoughts away as the woman replied.

“True indeed. They will ask for more land.”

Her anger boiled over despite herself. “You have enough! The land stretches for fucking leauges-“

She took a deep breath, staring at the paint soaked stones.

“I apologize, Lady Blackwood. What I meant was, men have no good sense.” Shanda then collapsed onto a chair, exhaustion winning out.

The lady across from her seemed unbothered by her words, simply continuing the art she was making.

“Aye, it's difficult to steer a man. So you must not protest the crimes laid against you.”

Shanda’s eyes nearly popped out of her head when she said that.

“Not protest the crimes I've been falsely accused of? What do you take me for?” She was so close to standing back up despite the weight of the day tearing her down.

“I take you for a woman with a modicum of self preservation but that remains to be seen. And if you want to go home, you will not protest the charges.”

Now Shanda did stand back up ignoring the screaming protest her feet were making. “So sorry, Lady Blackwood, but I will not commit to being labeled a known criminal and sentenced to what I’m sure will be a heinous sentence without just cause. I am not a criminal and furthermore -“

“What do you think of Benjicot?” The lady asked, abruptly shutting her down.

That made her even more beside herself.

“I don’t think anything of him at all. He is beneath my notice beyond recognition of his crimes.”

The lady had a queer look on her face, but it hovered around displeasure. Not surprising as Shanda was disparaging their house name.

“If I did think of him,” she went on, now truly ready to let the heavy weight of resentment off of her chest. “I would think, what a pathetic excuse of a man, beating up children and bloodying old men.”

Martyn’s haunted face flashed in her head, and the memory of falling in the river made the betrayal in her heart surge. She kicked the stool in front of her, the pain hardly registering on her bare foot. The lady lay her brush down at last, standing.

“You must be tired. Let me show you to your room.”

A tangled mess of emotions swirled about her as she followed the Lady to her room. Maybe she would get some good sleep and wake up from this nightmare.

***

“You are an idiot, Ben! A fool of the highest degree. Have you ever stopped to use your brain? Or do you think every problem can be solved by waving a sword and doing whatever you want?”

Benjicot’s Aunt was ripping into him.

“Was she that upset dear Aunt? Is my case so hopeless?”

Alysanne spun around so fast her hair splayed out as she moved. “She was half dead, Ben! She looked like a drowned cat and was twice as angry.”

Ben smiled at that, a vapid thoughtless grin. “So she’s going to protest the charges.”

“Yes, she’s going to protest. Or you could drop them. It's not too late to call this a misunderstanding.”

He shook his head, striding across the bridge and looking out into the night through the row of large windows. They stood on the covered bridge that connected the old part of the keep to the new. A strategic point of advantage should anyone ever try to lay siege to Raventree.

“No, Aly. I do use my brain and I’ve been using it to arrange this.”

“And what if I go tell your father? Tell him there were no crimes in the Borderlands? That this was all an elaborate ploy by his pig headed heir? What then?”

“She did commit those crimes, Aly.”

“This is hopeless. Hundreds of years of fighting and you’re going to start the bloodiest fight in a decade over a pretty girl.” She threw her hands up, walking away from him.

“I need a wife, Alysanne. That can’t be helped.”

The look she sent him should’ve been enough to kill him on the spot. But he just grinned and lightly pushed his Aunt.

“When we all die, I hope they name you the aggressor Benjicot.”

She was already walking away when he replied.

“And let the Brackens be named for their moral superiority? I think not.”

She threw an obscene gesture behind her back and vanished down the bridge.

Ben stood there a moment longer listening to the tinkling of rain on the rooftop. He was sure of only two things as he walked slowly along the bridge. One, they would have an early autumn. And two, he would incite a war with the entire river lands if that’s what it took to procure his bride. He was good with a sword and better with his words. If he couldn’t negotiate his way into a marriage, he could certainly fight his way into one. He thought of the look on his girl’s face earlier, when she had figured out he’d come across her family. The fires of rage that had licked up behind her eyes despite her defeated position, the way she had demanded answers. He had a feeling she wouldn’t want to send her brothers out to die just so she could avoid marriage. So he tucked that thought away for later.

His aunt's threats had been empty, a last ditch effort by her to bring an end to this plan. His father wouldn’t be able to stop what he had put into motion if all went according to plan. She would protest the charges, he would bring irrefutable proof. Her family would protest the sentence handed down and petition for a trial at Riverrun. It was there that Ben would put on the real show. But there was time between now and then, he walked carefully back to where the Bracken was waiting for him. It was time to ensure the trial played out in his favor.

***

Shanda could not grow comfortable in this foreign room, under the enemy's roof. When she had finally been led to a room for sleep, she had stripped off her ruined dress. Then she had donned a sleep slip that had been graciously provided for her. Climbing into the bed, covered in rich red sheets that only reminded her of blood, she tossed for an hour before giving up. She lay half under the covers on her side, she could see out of the window this way. Her mind was so exhausted from thinking that she had turned her thoughts off. Laying there she felt numb, not having quite processed the events of the day. The rain outside the window was calming and eventually she did begin to drift off to the soft thunder off in the distance.

So close to sleep that she didn’t register the sound of the door opening, reality and dreams were mixing together in her head. It was the sound of it closing that jolted her awake. She sat upright quickly, blinking rapidly, heart racing as she looked around. The shadow of him loomed over her and her breathing increased. He stole into the room like a specter and came to sit on her bed.

Gathering her wits she hissed, “Get out!” She pulled the covers up over her chest, covering herself from his prying eyes.

Sitting on the edge of her bed he gave her a soft smile.

“How are you feeling? Are you hungry? I brought you some food.”

She stared at him stiff as a board while he pulled out several pieces of bread and cheese, spreading them out on a fold of cloth before her. Confused and suspicious, she looked back and forth between the food and him.

“It’s not poisoned, if that’s your concern. Bit foolish to kill you before a trial, no?”

Scowling, she began to eat. “Easier to name me guilty though wouldn’t it?” She aggressively ripped chunks of bread apart as she answered her tone snide.

He didn’t answer her, letting her eat in peace. She supposed even prisoners had to eat as well. This was probably just standard behavior regarding prisoners. She kept her eyes on him the entire time, still wary. She could still feel the impression of his hand wrapped around her throat, squeezing.

“You should cancel the trial, call this thing off.” She said when she had finished and the silence grew unbearable. “I haven’t committed any crimes.”

“Hashing this out again are we?”

The twinkle had never once left his eyes as he reached towards her. She froze in response, the unexpected movement scaring her. But he just brushed the hair out of her face, his fingers brushing softly against her cheek as he did.

“You did commit those crimes, poor baby. It’s not your fault of course. It’s your family’s, they should’ve kept you inside.”

Not this again, she thought as the conversation took a turn against her autonomy.

“Are you really so stupid? To think I could be stopped from acting of my own accord by anyone.” She scoffed. Her father had certainly tried to keep her inside.

“I think I could stop you, my lady.”

She swallowed at his response suddenly, a bit nervous as if remembering he were a man. Memories of them rolling in the mud ran through her head. And she quickly looked away from him, breaking eye contact.

“That’s not what I meant.”

He grinned in response. He was always smiling at her.

“I know.” He reached out to stroke her hair again and she let him. “You should get some rest. It will be a long day for you tomorrow.”

Momentarily spellbound by how good his hand felt in her hair, she unconsciously nodded agreeing with him. Then she remembered herself, shaking her head aggressively to remove his hand. She’d been up too long, treated too roughly by the day. That was all.

“See yourself out, sir.” She said with all the malice she could muster, which sadly wasn’t enough.

When he was gone, she lay back down before loudly screaming into her pillow. Gods let the trial be quick.

[beanghostprincess]

Trans fem buggy anon back at it again with the brainrot

Crocodile going Full Mafia Boss Husband is so near and dear to me, but like. That makes Buggy the Mafia Boss Wife.

And I dunno smth about the clichés about that is so wild to me bc I feel like she'd fit that bill so well and yet so very NOT at the same time.

There is One Woman Crocodile Listens To, and it's his wife. He sometimes listens to Mihawk as well, but for different reasons. Mihawk ALSO listens to Buggy for the same reasons as Croc. It's not that Buggy is conventionally powerful, it's a mix of Happy Wife, Happy Life, and Buggy somehow slotting so well into the fold and running the backdrop with both efficiency, flair, and endearing fuck ups.

Buggy absolutely endears herself to many of Croc's business associates, charming them out the ass, and they think this mouthy little clown is a bit of a ditz and doesn't Get It, so they talk more freely around her. None of them catch that little glint in her eye as she listens attentively, making notes to ferry back to Crocodile and Mihawk both. Oh? You have big plans in the future? A loan, you say? Oh well golly, yes, I've been there before, teehee, tell me more, mister~

She has more dirt on the underbelly organizations than most can fathom, all locked up nice and neat in a code written lovingly in her fluffy heart shaped neon blue and green notebook.

She plays the role of eye candy well, and she likens it to playing on stage.

Behind the scenes, she's mouthy, bold, sharp, and useful, learning the tells and systems, realigning her general management with this new information, much to her husbands' surprise. Crocodile absolutely spoils her and Mihawk both rotten, but it's a mutual affair.

Buggy just having these wildly powerful men wrapped around her finger.

((And her fans/underlingsbare just gobbling it up bc THAT'S THEIR CAPTAIN, yeah captain Buggy is a QUEEN and she is SO GOOD AT THIS WOOOOO-))

MEANWHILE

The world government: she's a clown. Wait she was Roger's? Okay. Alright. A threat. We can mitigate this. A warlord - shit. Fuck the warlord system is going down. Oh God. Okay. Uhhh. We'll just drop a bounty. Yeah. That's good - Oh. Oh my God. Holy fuck did she just recruit MIHAWK and CROCODILE?? Okay. Emperor, then. It's fine. This is fine - THEY'RE MARRIED?!?!? WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?

The whole mafia concept with Cross Guild just fits so well. I mean, you've seen Crocodile already, he was literally made for that scenery. Crocodile and Mihawk may handle the money and men, but Buggy as a "trophy wife who looks dumb but actually knows what's going on all the time and keeps pulling the strings" is just amazing. Crocodile listens to two people only and he trusts them with his life. Buggy might seem like only a sexy bimbo clown but she actually could murder somebody violently on the spot and both Crocodile and Mihawk would stare at her with pride and then buy her all the things she wants. She's actually extremely strategic and intelligent and she's pretty much the one who makes all the plans since she knows the most about everybody they need to take advantage of.

And it's not even the dynamic which, I mean, it's pretty obviously a mafia dynamic but-- The whole aesthetic too? These three are just constantly giving "mafia boss x femme fatale wife x mysterious murderous husband". Crocodile sitting at his desk, Mihawk by his side and Buggy sitting on his lap? The image won't leave my head. It's just so, so good for them.

Not to mention that the Marines are all extremely frightened of this trio and Buggy's history and won't even dare to come close to them because they don't even know how the hell this relationship happened. And it's concerning and scary and they might end up dead if they approach them.

But yeah, this whole thing lives in my mind rent-free all the time and this is exactly how I imagine them. Cross Guild is just a mafia and Buggy always gets what she wants because she gets the job done and both Crocodile and Mihawk genuinely love her to death. Like literally. Don't touch her. You'll die.