#oh doug he is my darling who's an absolute walking disaster just like the rest of them LMAO
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cursivebloodlines · 1 year ago
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"Heh... maybe I am," Tessa admitted sheepishly, cringing inwardly at herself. "I don't know what I was expecting. Erm, just... something, higher... maybe?" Here we go again with the nerves. She felt like a right dumbass for even trying to explain herself. "Kinda just hm.. how do I put this right, um -" Shaking her head at herself, she let out a hesitant laugh. "Not that I thought you were a player or anything like that! Because I know you're not. But... well. I mean -" A fresh wave of heat warmed her cheeks once more. She truly would not win today. Every time she thought she couldn't get any redder, she proved herself wrong again and again and again. "You're... well... you're you... So..." Tess knew what she was trying to say. But finding the right words to explain it proved more difficult than anything. Words she wouldn't dream to say out loud. Such as: 'a handsome, very attractive man such as yourself should attract a lot of attention, I would've thought'. She could imagine what Diego's face would have been like if she had said that aloud. The relentless teasing and all. But no, she refused to let him have the satisfaction of that. Not when she was already flustered enough as it was. Since when did he have such an effect on her? "Why would I be worried?"
She rolled her eyes at Diego's retorts, unable to wipe that smile off her face. She couldn't even find it in her to pretend to be serious with him. Even when, essentially, he was calling her a liar. Jokingly, obviously. There really was just something about him, something about tonight, this moment... It was pure. Magical... In her idealistic little head, like the stars had aligned or some cringy shit like that. Because of course, Tessa believed in that sort of stuff. In everything, really. It made life that little more exciting. What's the point if you don't believe in the impossible? How mundane other's lives must be, to not even try and believe. Or belittle those who did believe all because they weren't open-minded enough to try. She never felt like that around Diego, thankfully. Sure, he may not share the same beliefs as her... but he was always respectful of them, of her. And she did try to be persuasive, and he was always willing to take the chance.
Then he had to bring up kissing. Which, naturally, had Tessa thinking about what it would be like to do that. To...to kiss him. Sure, the fleeting thought had come up a few times over the course of their friendship but... Things were different now. They were seeing each other in a new light... That didn't sound right. It wasn't new... but it was their first time properly sharing said feelings. Instinctively, her gaze drifted to his lips as her mind drifted back and forth between the temptation. That wouldn't be fair on him if she did, would it? Not when she hadn't given him a definite answer as of yet. The anticipation made her heart flutter, she couldn't deny. And she did wonder...It was plaguing her thoughts for a little moment there, biting her lower lip like it would enable her to hold back. "Oh, now there's a thought," Tessa finally said after a moment, her eyes meeting his once again. "Careful, Diego. It sounds like you want me to. Like... like you're lowkey baiting me to. Like a.. a challenge, or something." She couldn't take the jittery waver out of her voice as she spoke, almost quietly. Like she was torn between wanting to just go for it, or secretly hoping that he would... It wouldn't be fair on him, she kept telling herself.
Tessa nodded her head with a warm smile when Diego settled with the idea of their 'rustiness' with heartwarming rather than concern. "Okay then. That makes two of us. I don't think it should be concerning. I mean - there is nothing wrong with being rusty, is there? Only get concerned if the rust gets rustier..." she trailed off, a questioning look painted on her features as though she was saying 'what the hell am I talking about?' without explicitly stating the words verbally. The way his demeanor changed ever so slightly did not go unnoticed. A small frown etched on her face, she tilted her head a fraction, studying his expression. Was it something she said? "Everything okay?" She couldn't help but ask, unable to shake off the feeling that he wasn't particularly pleased with what she said. His reassurances meant a lot to her. Made her feel all warm and fuzzy inside. And still..."You don't know they won't. They might do," Tess pointed out in response to him saying his feelings for her wouldn't fade overnight. "What if I finally figure it out - and it takes me too long and by then you've moved on? These things do happen. Besides, it wouldn't be fair to you to keep you waiting. Especially if in the end..." she trailed off, not wanting to say the words 'if we don't do this after all.' And yet he remained adamant and sure that no matter what happened, they wouldn't lose their friendship. It was delightful to hear, the way he seemed so sure of it had her believing in it too, believing in his every word.
"Okay. If you're sure. No losses. That's good." She said, nodding her head with conviction like she was affirming it to herself. Normally she'd have made a joke about how she always got sick of him, but never long enough for it to be permanent. It didn't seem right. Not in a moment like this. If she decided to be no more than just friends, though. Could they ever truly go back to that? Could she do that? Knowing what she knew now... knowing that there is that part of her knowing that there was something there but never giving it a chance to fruition because she was scared? It was all too confusing. Why couldn't she just tell him, yes. Yes. Yes yes yes. There and then. She wished it was so easy. She didn't want to tell him yes and then backpedal on it after. Too much could go wrong... and promises of it not changing anything in the longrun are different to it actually happening. Why was she so indecisive?
The way Diego answered her question made her laugh. Again with a witty remark. Half a shrug rolled from her shoulders. "Maybe I did." It wasn't a lie...albeit with that confession in the open, it didn't necessarily mean she knew her answer. Which again, seemed very unfair to him. Her brows rose as he started to explain the question. Here she was, seeing yet another side of him. She thought it was adorable. People actually used to do that? Heck, younger Tessa would've loved that. How could someone say no to a gesture that was so cute? It was such a simple thing, yet something that continued to warm her tender heart. She was willing to bet that actually worked, too. Hearing him say it was endearing, and her smile stretched further. "That's so sweet. There is nothing wrong with old-fashioned..." she assured, pushing some of her hair behind her ear. "Just goes to show chivalry is not completely dead yet. You're restoring my faith in humanity, D." Turned out the more she learned from him, the more she was beginning to realise just how much she had missed out on. The little things to make someone feel special... She would've done anything for that. "Since you said you um, were willing to ask 'the' question... Does that mean you're also hiding some chocolates, somewhere?" Tess teased...mostly. It was cute; he was cute.
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"You sound pleased with my confession." He pointed out, a chuckle slipping past him. Okay, maybe this was amusing. "Were you expecting a higher number?" Diego did wonder if this was something important to her, a dealbreaker of sorts. Had he ever come across as a heartbreaker? "Only some," Diego reiterated. "So, nothing for you to worry about." And of that, he was certain. He did know he wouldn't be bringing up something like this if he was tied up elsewhere.
His smile was inevitable as she moved closer to him. At least that was still intact for them. Diego couldn't be sure yet, there were still so many unknown variables, but this helped him believe that they'd be okay. No matter where things ended up for them. It was his biggest hope, now that everything had been placed out there. Getting rejected would be rough, sure...but losing a friend like her - losing his go-to person? That would hurt him more than he wanted to think of. He was willing to bargain with her, anything in order to keep their friendship. Though, he selfishly hoped it wouldn't come to that.
Confirmed, yes - he was loving this. Diego was loving every second of this. Her stuttering over her words, the flush in her cheeks, the stolen glances in between. It was quickly becoming his favorite language to decipher. "Hm," a hum came from his chest, pretending to consider her words. Nope. "That's not what it sounds like Tess...but sure, whatever you say." Hearing her giggle made his heart skip a beat, Diego was certain. Still, it didn't prepare him to reach up and cover his mouth. Clever way to prevent him from speaking his truth! A secret admirer, is that what she was calling herself now? He playfully rolled his eyes at the explanation, sure. Whatever she needed to tell herself. To her next question, Diego raised his hands in the air - as if caught red-handed, and nodded yes. "Geez Tess, didn't know you'd go to those lengths to shut me up. Kissing is a lot more effective, you know." He joked, gaze falling on her once more. It was a joke, unless she felt differently.
Diego was a bit surprised she accepted his reasoning, didn't ask more about it. Believing he was an idiot was probably not that difficult, huh? "Well, not sure if it's heartwarming that we're both rusty...or concerning. I'll believe in heartwarming though, just for our sake." At least they were both on the same level of experience here. Maybe it made the conversation easier. "Well, I'm hoping that's the attitude you keep. Not holding back and such." Brows furrowed at the second question. She was still trying to figure it out? Well, that was not where he expected this went. Diego thought this was more of a yes/no deal. He cleared his throat, regaining any composure lost. "Well...you need to take time to figure out what you're feeling." That's where this was going, the usual - don't want to hurt you portion. "Hey," he spoke softly, gently squeezing her frame. "I'm serious. It sounds like there's a lot going in your mind. I don't want you to feel pressured to answer right this second. This isn't a limited-time offer or something of the sort. My feelings won't expire tomorrow." That much he was certain of.
The idea of waiting scared him a bit, Diego had to admit. His feelings wouldn't change, he knew that, but the possibility that she decides otherwise left him a bit nervous. Waiting didn't guarantee she'd reach him where he was. Giving her time was the right thing to do though. It was a fair ask. If his life wasn't so rigid, black and white, he'd probably need time too. "Against my better judgement, I'm reiterating. Think about it. I'll answer what I can, like...the fact that you're special to me too and I can't afford to lose you. I can remind you that no matter how this ends, i'll be there. We were friends first, right? I'll be around until you get sick of me. But, I'll also say that it's okay, if you just want to be friends. We don't risk anything, no loss."
Tessa's follow up question surprised him, but only for a moment. She asked out of curiosity, that was all. He had to remind himself of that, at least until their situation was defined. Was she asking to catch a reaction from him? The smirk once again making an appearance, "got excited there for a second, thought you wanted me to present the question to you." He half-joked. "The official question, well you know...like those school yard confessions. You bring the box of chocolates, guide them to a corner of the playground, and officially ask, will you be my girlfriend?" This sounded a lot better in his head, explaining this was a bit embarrassing the more he thought about it. "Hey, it was very formal back when I was in school. I don't know why, girls loved it. Maybe it was because the question was asked. Anyways, little Diego kept the tradition alive, so yep, the official question. Perhaps a little old-fashioned though."
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