#oh director's treatment

[duahauuoplanh]

It took me a long time to realize this, when it’s fate, there are no coincidences. Your fate is determined by the choices you make, but there are times, your fate chooses you. Things that are bound to happen, are taking place even in this moment. I was truck with a sad premonition that this will be short lived, but I decided to love the fate that chose me.

[authorhjk1]

Teaching their hoebae the “real” side of the industry. They heard rumors of you making your “rounds” through different idols around your age/generation. And decided they want to see what the fuss was all about. “You’ve fucking all these cute girls trying to act like grown women. So why don’t I show you what a real woman can do with a beautiful cock like this”

You guys send me so many great ideas for SNSD, so I just had to get at least this one off my chest. This got way out of hand, but I hope you enjoy it anyway.

Sunbae

(Choi Sooyoung X Male Reader)

"Oh god, yes!"

Ningning's voice echoes through the changing room as you take her from behind.

You usually don't meet other idols that often, since you are in boy group that is mostly keeping to itself within the industry. Your own practice room, your own schedules, your own recording studio and so on. For the last three years, your group has taken Korea and the rest of the world by storm, so you do deserve this special treatment.

And there are more benefits. For example, being very popular with the female idols. Especially the ones your age. They all have busy schedules themselves, so there is no time for boyfriends. You are happy to help out though. Between schedules, you enjoy the company of Korea's most beautiful idols. You remember Wonyoung from three weeks ago. She is insanely pretty and the sex was great. The only downside is your own busy schedule. Not enough time to actually become proper fuck buddies with one if the girls, your schedules mostly conflicting.

But not on a day like this. The company got a great deal with a clothing brand. A big deal. And that's why a lot of idols are here, at this photoshoot location.

Just like you and Ningning.

"Right there, please!"

She cries out again as you hold her by her waist, her upper body resting atop the makeup table.

"And now turn right, please!"

You do as you are told, barely hearing the director's voice over the shutters of the cameras.

Your group already finished it's photoshoot half an hour ago. Your individual shoot is coming to an end too. Not knowing who it is, you are still waiting for your partner for the next couple of photos.

Since your agency isn't the only one now signed with the brand, you are not completely surprised, when you see that the idol approaching you is from another company.

"Hello, sunbae."

You bow respectfully. Trying not not stare. Choi Sooyoung. From SNSD. You can't believe your luck. Your favorite girl group. And Sooyoung herself. In that dress. You have to stop yourself, before you start drooling.

"Hello. (Y/n) is it, right?"

"Yeah."

You smile back at her, honored that she knows your name. The two of you haven't met before.

"I've heard a lot about you."

Her smile is genuine, but you could swear, her eyes are trying to tell you something. Like a secret. A secret only the two of you know.

"I'm honored."

You bow again, before turning towards the camera again. Wanting to hide your nervousness, you try to be professional.

The two of you just stand next to each other for a couple of shots at the beginning. Sooyoung, in that gorgeous, pink, shoulder less dress and golden heels and you, black suit, black vest, and a burgundy tie, which matches the red watch on your wrist.

Eventually, you find yourself holding onto her waist, while Sooyoung's hand rest on your right shoulder. It's only show of course. Trying to be respectful, you don't actually touch her, your hand just above the pink fabric.

She takes a couple of shots alone with the chair, your leader sat on during your group's shots. Afterwards, you take your place on that chair, while Sooyoung lifts her leg. You are captivated by its length and smoothness for a moment, until you feel her heel, slightly digging into your thigh.

A couple of camera shutters later, Sooyoung places her hand on her knee, bending forward. You are very aware of the fact that, with one look in the right direction, you would be seeing something that would keep you up all night. Instead, you stay focused on the camera.

"Now, (y/n)! Please place your hand on Sooyoung's thigh! Sooyoung, put your hand on his head!"

She does what she is told, immediately. You hesitate for a moment.

"You can touch me."

You look at her face for the first time in a while. Then you nod, wrapping your hand around her warm thigh.

"You are cute when you are being respectful."

You bite your lip, hoping the heat in your cheeks won't show in the photos later on.

"Just like that!"

The two of you look into the camera, until Sooyoung drops her first bomb on you.

"Don't look into the camera. Look straight ahead."

"What?"

In her position, she is almost pushing her chest into your face and now she asking you to look?

"Trust me. It's gonna come out great. Plus, you can see it as a reward. For making me look so good next to you in those pictures."

You gulp, debating internally, if you want to put your career on the line or not. But the temptation quickly proves to be too much. You only glance at her cleavage once, her smooth skin tempting you to lean in closer. You eventually do turn your head.

But instead of staying in place, Sooyoung suddenly changes position. Her lower body stands still. She removes her hand from your head and places her elbow on her naked knee, her chin now resting on her bend pointer finger and middle finger, as if she is thinking about something. You could still look at her cleavage if you wanted to, but now, Sooyoung's eyes are on the same level as yours.

And you can't escape her gaze. The camera crew gives you two applause and complements for your amazing chemistry, but you barely hear them. Sooyoung stares into your eyes, into your body, into your soul. You don't even dare to breathe, yet alone bluntly stare at her chest.

"Bad boy. Did you just try to look at your noona's tits?"

Your head starts spinning as if you have been dancing for ten hours straight. What is going on? You do, what you do best in these kind of situations, when you don't know what to do. Try to be funny.

"I didn't know I already have noona privileges."

You do make her chuckle as you point out her slip up. She just indirectly offered you a less formal way of talking with her.

The unwavering, sexy look she had put on, turns into a loving smile.

"From what I hear, you already have your fair share of privileges."

Her teasing and her overall sexy look makes it difficult for you to not become hard in public. A taks that proofs to be very difficult to pull off.

For everyone outside your little bubble, it must look like the two of you changed your concept from seductive strangers, to loving couple.

Unbeknownst to them, Sooyoung keeps talking in that voice of hers, sweet honey seems to be dripping from her lips.

"Do you enjoy your privileges so far?"

You are not slow, when it comes to thinking. And you desperately hope that your guess is correct. That Sooyoung isn't talking about actual privileges anymore.

"I-I do."

You can't help but let a shaky breath escape your lips. This is too good to be true.

"Oh, really?"

Sooyoung seems genuinely surprised.

"You don't care for noona privileges, then?"

She almost sounds hurt.

Like a well oiled machine, Sooyoung changes her position again, without even waiting for directions. A true model to outsiders. A skilful seductress to you.

She spins around and sits down on your right thigh. Instinctively, you reach for her waist, but hesitate, not knowing if you should touch her or not.

"Since you're my hoobae, I expect you to do as I say, from now on."

She suddenly sounds cold. And since you can't see her face anymore, you're afraid that you just blew your one and only chance of getting intimate with Choi Sooyoung.

But your worries of missing out are quickly replaced by new ones as she takes your hand and places it on top of her dress. But not around her waist, where you first intended to put it. Your palm rests on the hem of her pink one piece, your fingertips touching her upper thigh, which is draped over her left one. You are aware that only that piece of fabric and a couple of centimeters separate you from her core.

Eventually, your personal torture ends. The crew thanks the two of you for your hard work, promising you that your pictures will captivate the world, thanks to your chemistry.

You find it a little over the top, but you don't have the energy, or will, to argue.

"Come."

Sooyoung tells you, after saying goodbye to the staff. You walk after her, heading towards your changing room. But you never make it there. In the middle of the small hallway, Sooyoung turns around. Her arms now crossed in front of her body, she looks you up and down.

"Did you have fun with Ningning, earlier?'

You are stunned and visibly embarrassed.

"Well, I did hear her having fun, but I'm wondering about you. How often did she make you cum?"

"S-Sunbae... I-"

"Oh please. Don't play innocent. I heard about you more than I should've."

"Y-You did?"

You thought she was referring to your group's music, when she first said that an hour ago.

"Yes. I can even tell you their names, if you don't believe me. You seem to be leaving behind quite the impression."

"N-No I-I'm good, thanks."

Sooyoung ignores you with ease.

"Huh Yunjin, Shin Yuna,..."

You close your eyes in embarrassment, while she keeps counting with her fingers.

"...Baek Jiheon, Jang Wonyoung, Ningning..."

Sooyoung's eyes move from her fingers to you.

"You are going through these girls, like they go through their shoes, playboy."

"I-It's not like that."

What kind of stupid defense is that?

"Oh really? All these young girls seem to fall so easily for your tricks, is it that?"

"Sunbae, please..."

Sooyoung chuckles.

"Have you even been with a proper woman before?"

You get what she means. Someone older than yourself. You shake your head.

Sooyoung shakes her head in disappointment.

"Those girls are inexperienced themselves. How could they take care of my hoobae properly?"

She takes a step closer, slightly tilting her head as if she is trying to figure out what you could be possibly seeing in those girls.

"You've been fucking all these cute girls acting like grown women. So why don't I show you what a real woman can do with that big cock of yours?"

A wave of pleasure and anticipation rushes down your spine. For a brief moment, you wonder why Sooyoung would call you big, specifically. But you see her glancing down, biting her lip. You do the same, realizing that you have a hard on. You don't know for how long already.

Without waiting for an answer, Sooyoung reaches forward, cupping your cock over your pants

"I like the feeling of that. Maybe it's not only tricks you have going for you."

She gives you a quick peck on the lips, a cheeky smile playing around hers.

"I want a proper taste of you. All these rumors I hear sound way too exaggerated."

"Wait, sunbae. I-"

"Shush."

Sooyoung glares at you. Instead of her lips, her finger is now sealing your lips.

"You thought you were sleeping with all the female idols, right?"

You give her a weak nod.

"You are so naive. I'm gonna show you the real side of this industry."

You expect another kiss, when Sooyoung leans towards you. Instead, your lips only graze hers as she makes you miss, heading straight for your ear.

"Let me give you some senior advice, hoobae."

She nibbles on your earlobe for a second, before she continues to whisper into your ear.

"When someone offers you noona privileges, you take them."

Sooyoung takes your face into her hands, now looking at you again.

"Because real women like me, know what a boy like you wants."

She leans forward once again. Your lips barely touching hers as she keeps talking.

"We have what you need."

A moan almost escapes your lips.

Sooyoung pulls away, giving you a victorious smile.

"Follow me."

You do as she says and soon find yourself inside a spacious kitchen. Way bigger than your dressing room. Probably for the staff, if they have to work here the whole day.

"Isn't this kinda public?"

Sooyoung rolls her eyes. In that moment, you promise yourself not to say anything stupid ever again. She almost looked terrifying.

"Lesson one, playboy."

She placed her hands on the counter, slightly leaning over it. It takes an incredible amount of self control to not glance at her cleavage.

"Learn how to take a blowjob."

"What?"

You are mentally not quite there yet. You are still trying to figure out, how you went from a simple photoshoot to this.

"What do you-"

Sooyoung cuts you off with a gesture, motioning for you to come closer. Following her order, you find yourself trapped between the older woman and the countertop behind you.

"You are asking, what do I mean?"

You swallow your reply.

"I mean, that you have to learn how it feels like to receive proper head. We don't want you to cum too quickly."

Sooyoung leans in. Instead of kissing you, she tilts her head, kissing your neck.

"You see..."

Her words are interrupted by another kiss.

"Your noonas know how to worship cock. We know how important your pleasure is."

Sooyoung now moves towards your lips, leaving a trail of kisses behind.

"Now, try to hold on."

She whispers against your lips, before giving you a quick but deep kiss that leaves you breathless.

You watch in amazement as Sooyoung lets her finger wander from your cheek to your chin, along your throat, past your chest, until she reaches the hem of your shirt. At the same time, she lowers herself further and further, until she is squatting in front of you.

With a lustful look in her eyes, Sooyoung holds your stare as she opens your pants, without having to look at them. They glide down your legs and a moment later, you feel her give your clothed cock a kiss.

"Not half bad for a boy."

Sooyoung licks her lips, before she slowly pulls down your underwear.

"Hmmm."

Her warm breath plays around your cock as she hums in satisfaction.

"Girls your age don't know how to appreciate a dick like this."

Sooyoung closes her eyes, savouring the first taste of your cock as she lets her tongue glide over your tip. She follows that up with a couple of quick kisses along your shaft, before placing her tongue at your base. Your breath hitches as she drags her tongue along the underside of your cock.

"You really are blessed. It tastes amazing."

Sooyoung purrs, before finally opening her mouth wider. You bite your lip, watching how she slowly moves forward, her mouth around your cock without touching it. Once she reaches the second half of your length, Sooyoung finally closes her mouth around your cock, her lips forming an airtight seal.

"Oh, god."

You groan out, your head rolling back.

She starts to let her lips glide along your shaft as she pulls back, her tongue pressing against it from underneath. Once she reaches your tip, her tongue swirls around it, before she starts to take you into her mouth again.

Sooyoung doesn't stop doing these motions. Back and forth. Her head moves back and forth. Her lips glide along your shaft, back and forth. Her tongue drags along the underside of your shaft, back and forth.

Your knuckles quickly turn white as you hold onto the countertop behind you. Sooyoung is doing this at a way slower pace than all of the girls you've been with so far. She visibly enjoys sucking you off. You can tell by how her eyes are closed. How a slight smile plays around her lips. How she slightly hums around your cock, whenever she is about to take you in again.

It becomes harder and harder for you to keep your composure. There is no way in hell you're gonna last much longer. You try to tell her that, but your words are suddenly stuck in your throat, when Sooyoung decides to up her game even more.

You are now forced to take heavy breaths as the woman in front of you takes more of your cock. She glides further down you length than before. And soon, you realize that you've hit the back of her throat.

"Oh, shit."

You can't help but groan as the muscles of her throat flex around you. The act makes her throat squeeze you even more than before. Sooyoung slowly retreats, this time only halfway, before she pushes forward again.

"S-Sunbae."

You groan again, wanting to tell her to stop. If this is only the appetizer and you actually have a chance of feeling her pussy around you, you don't want to blow this. No pun intended.

Sooyoung does eventually listen to your warnings, feeling your cock throbbing in her throat. She leans back, until your tip only rests on her parted lips. She lets it fall off. Now, only a string of saliva connects her lips with your cock.

"That was..."

You can't find the right words.

"Good?"

Sooyoung shoots you a mocking grin.

"Good."

You repeat after her as you try to hold onto the feeling you just experienced.

"Judging from your reaction, these girls don't know how to take a cock down their throats. "

You weakly shake your head, confirming her assumption.

"A shame."

She mumbles to herself, before wrapping her hand around your cock.

"Time for lesson two, then."

Sooyoung stands back up again, her face inches away from yours.

"Learn to be patient. Older women don't like quick and meaningless wild sex. They like to take their time."

She pushes you towards your left, signaling you to sit down on the chair that is standing in the corner. After having done so, you watch Sooyoung stepping in front of you, before leaning down, her hands rest on your knees.

"This is also the perfect time for you to recover. Don't rush into this. Let me take the lead and enjoy the show."

Sooyoung puts her heel onto your thigh again, just like during the photoshoot. Except this time, she puts her finger on the top if her foot and slowly starts to drag it upwards. You watch it move along her smooth skin. Once it reaches her knee, Sooyoung speaks again.

"Learn to appreciate a woman's body. How it looks, how it feels and how it responds to your touch."

She reaches down again to take your hand. Slowly your fingers move up her leg and past her knee. Her thigh feels incredible as you explore more of her body. You eventually reach the hem of her dress. Before you can even try to push further, Sooyoung swats your hand away. In a swift motion, as if she is dancing to an inaudible tune, she lifts her foot off your thigh and spins around.

Her back is now facing you. Sooyoung raises her hands and then, slowly, lets them travel down the sides of her body. At the same time, she sways her hips seductively, until her hands reach her waist. She slightly bends forward as they run over her ass.

You almost reach out to grab a handful of her cheeks. But Sooyoung now lowers herself and sits on your lap. Her ass slightly grinds against you. She reaches behind herself, finding the back of your head, before forcing you to lean it forward. Your lips land on her naked shoulder and you start to kiss her skin. Thanks to the angle, you finally have a clear view of her cleavage for the first time. No bra, you notice. The dress seems to be tight enough to keep her breasts in place by itself.

Sooyoung must've caught you staring somehow, because she now place another finger on her collarbone. Her pink nail glides over skin, eventually reaching the upper hem of her dress. She hooks her finger into it, slowly pulling it down.

Just enough to make you drool, without revealing everything.

Sooyoung seems to have enough of your kisses. She gets off your lap and turns around again. While maintaining eye contact, she hooks both her thumbs into her dress on either of her sides. Sooyoung starts to strip in front of you. When she is about to free her tits entirely, she leans forward and lets them fall out of her dress. You watch with a dry mouth, unable to say a word.

She wiggles her hips as she gets the rest of the dress off, until she is standing completely naked in front of you. Her pink dress a pile of cloth around her ankles. She steps out of it and towards you.

"Good boy."

She straddles your lap again. Your cock is now resting on her stomach at the hight of her belly button.

"Lesson three."

Sooyoung reaches down to slowly stroke your cock. Her other hand grazes your cheek, before she lets it rest on your shoulder.

"Be a good fuck toy for your noona. Trust me, I know how to ride you so well, that you pass out from the pleasure."

She gives you another kiss on the lips, before she lifts herself off your lap.

"And feel free to explore a real woman's body."

With that, Sooyoung aligns her pussy with your cock. She slowly sinks back down.

"Oh, god!"

You immediately groan.

"Fuck!"

Even Sooyoung lets out a loud moan.

"You feel way bigger than before."

She now places the other hand on your shoulder as well, only your tip resting inside of her right now. That changes, when Sooyoung slowly lowers herself further. Looking down, you watch more and more of your cock disappear inside of her.

"Were you even able to fit all of this into your cute little girls?"

Despite her mocking tone, you can tell that Sooyoung is struggling. She stops for a couple of seconds halfway down, before she eventually keeps going.

When she does reach your base, her eyes roll to the back of her head.

"Damn, I can feel your cock push my organs out of the way."

Before you are able to reply, Sooyoung starts to lift herself off of you again. When only your tip remains inside her core, she lowers herself back onto you.

You grit your teeth at the pleasure and you remember what Sooyoung told you earlier. Your hands start from her hips. They move across her midriff and sides, until they reach her tits. You begin to grope them, while Sooyoung keeps her slow pace. Maybe you are a little too much to handle. Even for her.

Her soft skin underneath your palms and her tight pussy around your cock send spikes of pleasure through your system. When Sooyoung finally does get used to your size, she starts to ride you, just like she promised.

Her pace increases with every other thrust. A minute or so later, she is bouncing on your cock, a satisfied smile on her face. You lean forward to catch one of her nipples with your mouth, which makes her moan.

Sucking on her tits, you enjoy the ride Sooyoung is giving you. Once in a while, she changes it up a little. Instead of constantly impaling herself on your cock, she occasionally stays glued to your hips. She would then move hers in a circle motion, making your dick rub against all kind of places inside of her.

Sooyoung alternates between both styles of riding, making sure you are on a steady way towards your orgasm. But you manage to catch her off guard with how well you suck on her tits. Sooyoung moans more and more, never having expected you to be this good. She doesn't lose her rhythm, but it's obvious she is beginning to struggle to keep it together.

"Yes, keep sucking on them! Good boy!"

She praises you, while her hips smash down onto yours. You can't tell how long it as been, but Sooyoung's prediction might actually become true. Her pussy keeps draining your composure out of you. Whenever she circles her hips, your legs quiver. Your hands have found their way back to her waist by now. You are squeezing her sides, trying to not lose grip on reality.

Sooyoung is in no better condition. Your cock keeps hitting just the right spots. Whenever she impales herself on your cock, she can feel it push upwards against her guts, forcing the air out of her lungs. Eventually, she can't take it anymore. Only able to grind herself on top of you, back and forth, she becomes a mess in your lap, while you keep sucking on her breasts.

"Ah, fuck! (Y/n)!"

She didn't call you by a nickname for the first time in quite a while. Her pussy pulsates around you, trying to make you orgasm too. Her nails dig into your shoulders, probably leaving stinging marks behind. Sooyoung shivers and shakes on top of you.

Once she finally does come down, she gives you a lustful stare.

"Not bad, playboy."

She captures your lips with hers. You instinctively wait for her to announce another lesson.

"Last lesson."

There it is.

"Learning how to cream pie your sunbaes."

"Cream pie?"

"You heard me the first time."

Sooyoung bites her lip and resumes her riding.

You've never done this before, for obvious reasons. Your career, the other idol's career and so on and so on. But now, she isn't really giving you much of a choice. And it's not like you're complaining. Every fan would dream of having a chance to cream pie Choi Sooyoung.

That dream becomes reality a couple of minutes later.

"Oh, god! Sunbae!"

Now it's your turn to shout out her name. Well, at least the formal version of it. Your heels dig into the floor, you thrust upwards into her waiting pussy. And then, you start to fill her up.

A deep moan rolls off Sooyoung's tongue as she feels herself getting cream pied by someone way younger than herself. Your warmth enters her stomach and she makes sure that nothing of your precious cum escapes, by not moving at all.

"You did a great job, playboy. You are a fast learner."

After her praise, Sooyoung gives you a curious look.

"How many more rounds do you have in you? I won't be leaving this place, until I've made sure that you are taken care of properly."

She leans down to kiss you again, her tongue dancing with yours for a while.

"And there is one more thing older women do, that younger girls don't."

After breaking the kiss, Sooyoung whispers into your ear again.

"Swallow."

[mercurygguk]

head over skates · jjk ; part i.

··· SUMMARY; jeon jungkook is the captain of the hockey team and one of the biggest fuckboys on campus. you happen to have known him for as long as you can remember but he is not who he used to be and you simply can't stand it.

so what happens when you're suddenly stuck doing a project with him for three weeks?

SERIES MASTERLIST · # TAG · MOOD BOARDS · PLAYLIST

PAIRING; hockey player!jungkook x f. reader

GENRE; fwb au, childhood friends to enemies to lovers au, college au

WORDCOUNT; 1,514

RATING; 18+

WARNINGS; swearing

a/n; HEAD OVER SKATES SERIES IS HERE!!!! it’s a drabble series now so these chapters will be short but that’s better than nothing amirite :)) i hope you like this first part! enjoyyy <3 also, please lmk what you think!

“The project will be done in pairs of two–”

Jihyo copies your smirk from across the room as you lock eyes with her. You were thinking the same thing – you and her will pair up and do this project together. As best friends and classmates since freshman year, you’ve learned that you work the best alongside each other. However, both of your smirks crumble into tiny pieces as Professor Kim finishes her sentence.

“–which have already been decided beforehand.”

You let out a quiet, frustrated groan as you slump in your seat. Jihyo pouts and shoots a glare at Professor Kim without her noticing. You watch with a bored expression as she pulls up a document showing the pairs for the project. You skim the document until your eyes land on your name, written in Times New Roman right next to–

Oh, hell no.

The universe has a sick sense of humor, is the first thought your brain is able to process as you stare at the name written next to yours. It’s the name of the one person you haven’t spoken to since senior year of high school. It’s the name of the one person you still hold a grudge against. It’s the name of your childhood best friend and high school crush – Jeon Jungkook.

When you first met Jungkook, he was just 5 years old and nothing like the man he is today.

Back then he had just moved in across the street and it didn’t take long for you to realize he was the cutest, most shy little boy – you can ask anyone who knew him back then. He was careful with everything from animals to dead objects to other people and yet he was just a pinch of wild and reckless enough to allow himself to do some of the crazy stuff kids do when growing up. He was smaller than the other boys at his age; short and skinny, a round head, framed by his thick strands of black hair. He also had big, star-filled doe eyes that could convince any adult to let him have everything his way. And having his way was something Jungkook got used to as he grew older – sometimes a bit too much perhaps.

As his best friend during all the years going from elementary school through middle school and the first years of high school, you witnessed it first hand – teachers and his friends alike were all willing to go out of their way to make sure Jungkook was satisfied. No one really knows how that came to be – perhaps it had nothing to do with Jungkook at all but everything to do with the fact that his father was the board director at one of the biggest enterprises in the country.

Jungkook has always been very oblivious, hence why he didn’t put much thought into the special treatment he received from everyone as soon as people found out just how rich his parents were. 

While in middle school, he had yet to realize how girls were starting to look at him, how they would giggle whenever he would flash his boyish smile in their direction, how they would almost trip over each other to get his attention and call his name during lunch breaks only to blush and say ‘nevermind’ when he would finally react. Jungkook had yet to realize that he was becoming hotter and less shy. He was oblivious as ever but still cute nonetheless. 

And while all this went down, you watched from the sideline, wondering when he would realize – wondering when your friendship would end. Because it would. You knew that from the moment Jungkook flirtatiously smirked and winked at your friend one day without realizing. Or maybe he did. Either way, you realized it on his behalf – he was slowly becoming a big flirt.

It’s now five years later and you were right. And as much as you like to be right, you’ve never hated it more.

Your friendship did end.

It started fading out almost as soon as Jungkook realized what he was able to achieve with his good looks and flirty nature. Now you and Jungkook attend the same college but in two different worlds most of the time. The chances of you and him ever going back to being friends like you were when you were pre-teens are minimal. And it’s not like you’re trying to befriend him again.

Cocky jocks who think they’re the shit aren’t exactly your first choice when making friends. 

And somehow during your high school junior year, Jungkook became one of them. He picked up on the term ‘working out’ and found out he had muscles and how to grow them. He also found out how to use those exact muscles to make the girls swoon, making them feed his ego way more than what is considered healthy. And as if that wasn't enough, Jungkook began practicing hockey.

And guess what? He was damn good at it.

Ego overfed.

As time went by, you and Jungkook talked less. He was busy with his new friends, playing hockey, and hanging out with girls that were way more interesting than his best friend, also known as you. Eventually you found yourself spending time with other people instead of him, finding it tiring and painful to be the second choice whenever his other friends didn’t have time or when his parents would mention you and he would 'suddenly' remember you existed. 

The sight of different girls from school entering and leaving his house without his parents knowing wasn’t that fun either if you’re being honest.

Although, you never actually told him that – but you didn’t have to because the two of you were gliding apart by each day you spent doing your own thing. It hurt but your silly crush eventually turned into anger which later turned into despisal and borderline hatred towards your former best friend. Because Jeon Jungkook was nothing more than just another jock with an overfed ego and way too many fangirls trailing behind him everywhere he goes.

Your point is deemed proven the moment Jungkook gets up from his seat in the back and makes his way to you – said fangirls all turn their scowling gazes to you the second they realize what is happening. You feel his presence before he opens his mouth to greet you, something about it making your stomach churn as he plops down in the seat next to you.

“Hey, partner,” he grins when you slowly turn to face him. “What are the odds, huh?”

You don’t spare him a glance nor a reply as you get up from your seat, leaving him behind and trying your very best to ignore the way his eyes follow your every move. Your professor seems less than excited to see you standing next to her desk as she looks up at you.

“Mrs. Kim,” you offer her your best polite smile, “is there any chance it’s possible to change partners for this project? It seems-”

Professor Kim glances back to your spot where Jungkook is sitting in the next chair, arms crossed over his chest as he leans back, hints of a smirk on his lips as he watches you and Mrs. Kim. “Miss ____, the pairs have been decided beforehand for a reason. I was hoping to save time and energy by doing this and will not be spending said saved energy on splitting up pairs just because you’re unhappy with yours.”

You feel a frustrated whine push at the back of your throat as the words leave her red-tinted lips. “But-”

“____, I know you prefer to work with Jihyo in every class you share,” she pointedly and calmly says. “But as the professor, it is my job to challenge the students and push them out of their comfort zone. If there aren’t any actual issues with having Mr. Jeon as your partner, I suggest you take on the challenge and get the best out of it.”

The fake smile she shoots at you has you frowning as you turn on your heel, defeat hanging over you in a gray cloud as you make your way back to your seat. Jungkook’s smirk has widened and he seems more than satisfied by the fact that your request got rejected by the professor. You slump in your seat once again, stealing a glance at Jihyo who got paired up with none other than Kim Namjoon – the top student of this class and her crush.

What a lucky bitch.

“Cheer up, ____,” Jungkook’s voice intrudes your thoughts, pulling you back. He’s smiling smugly when you turn to face him for the first time since he sat down. “I promise I’ll behave.”

You huff out an unimpressed scoff and turn your attention to your notes, the grip on your pen so tight your knuckles turn white. You miss the way Jungkook’s smile falters a little as you look away.

This is going to be the longest three weeks of your life – you’re sure of it.

all rights reserved © mercurygguk · tumblr

[kittyscupcakeandbunny]

CRAZY OVER YOU x MIN YOONGI

[HYBRID AU]

PART ONE

Love at first bite

Side Characters: Namjoon/doctor, Seokjin/doctor, Taehyung/Hybrid Tiger.

Warnings: Smut, mentions of blood, sharp objects, rut, beast behavior, medical experiments, meds.

Genre: Fantasy, hybrids au, smut.

SUMMARY》 Yoongi is a black mamba hybrid one of rarest species of hybrids, who’s about to be put down due to his lack of interest in living. But everything changes after the new medical assistance (y/n) takes a liking to him. Meeting after meeting he realise his feelings for her are not the only thing growing.

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My feet hurt. I’ve been running back and forth around the clinic way past my working hours already.

To be honest I think the assistants work more than the doctors, I should have gone home by now. My shift ended four hours ago. Yet i couldn’t go home.

Lately the clinic has been very busy, hybrids were coming in and out of the clinic to get treatment and the fact that so many rescued hybrids from the outside were coming, made the ones we had already been taking care of at the clinic agitated. With their higher level of hearing and smelling it was impossible to completely hide the different cents.

The world we live in is not the same anymore, we exists between hybrids. And I work in a clinic that takes care of them.

The biggest hybrid clinic in our city, is was more then just a clinic for hybrid species. It was a hospital, lab where scientific studies and research took place, and a clinic for treatments.

It was late at night when things seemed to have cooled down. I decided to drink some coffee at the cafeteria on the first floor.

Sitting down in one of the tables I put my hot coffee over it, taking the files of my patients for tomorrow morning in hand reading their appointments and preparing for it.

- yn! - I look up to see Hoseok, one of the assistants that worked on the especial cases.

- hey hobi - i greet him, he sits down in front of me looking more exausted than ever. - oh you look awful…

- don’t even tell me about it - he said - guess who was my patient today?

- no idea… - I tell him, taking a sip from my coffee.

- the snake hybrid - he said, I almost gagged in my coffee.

- no way! What is like? - i asked, the most special hybrid in our clinic was the rarest one. The black mamba hybrid.

- an asshole? - he said, I chuckled at him - no seriously, he’s so difficult to treat like he doesn’t eat because he doesn’t like the food, always complain about the people around him… and today, he bit my colleague be cause he didn’t like that way he smelled.

- he bit him? - i asked, completely amused.

- yes, he’s in the hospital by now - at his words I looked up at him worried.

- so… - before I said anything my phone start to ring. I sight tiredly - gotta go.

He only nodded understanding as I got up from my seat to leave.

- hey… - I say as I take the call. I threw the plastic cup of coffee in the trash can as I leave the cafeteria.

- boss is looking for you - he tells me. It was one of my coworkers.

- I’ll go then, thanks.

I turned off the call making my way to the elevators in the hallway. By boss he meant Seokjin, it was a nickname we all agreed on since he’s the director of the clinic. As I walked towards the elevators i kept wondering why he asked for me at this hour, Jin was usually so busy I could bearly talk to him not did I ever seen him having lunch break or any break at all. He always made sure the hybrids were well treated at the clinic and worked really hard for it.

From afar i notice Namjoon standing there in front of the elevator doors waiting for it, he was looking through some papers on his hand too focused to even notice my presence beside him.

- hey - i greet him.

- hey… - he reply, not looking my way. He had a hard expression on his features.

Once the door opened in front of us we both get in the elevator, me fallowing right after him. I press the bottom to the third floor.

- what is this? - I ask him intrigued, as he seemed completely focused on the paper to notice his surroundings.

- my new patient - he sighed now looking at me - he’s one of the rare hybrids we have and it looks like he’s going to get put down.

- what? Why? - I was genuinely surprised, rare hybrids were so special in the clinic one of them being put down could only meant one thing - is he sick?

- no - he said getting out of the elevator once the door opened at our desire floor, i fallow him - just an asshole.

- oh? - i was genuinely confused, but didn’t push him to tell me - You going to Jin’s office?

- yes - he said, lookin stressed - he called me to discuss this patient, what about you?

- He called for me but, I don’t know yet - i reply, we walked the long corridor till were finally standing in front of Seokjins office.

After nocking on the door and receiving a low “come in” from Seokjin we both made our way inside his office. Namjoon opened the door for me to get in first then he fallowed me behind, shutting the door. Jin sat on his desk, hands on his face as he covered his eyes in despair looking more tired than ever, a look i never thought I would see on his face.

- Jin you look… - he didn’t let me finish.

- I know - he sighted, now looking at us both in front of him.

- why did you called us? - Namjoon asked.

- I need your help with this rare hybrid case - He said.

Jin started walking around his desk to sit down.

- my father passed to me the responsibility of taking care of the… euthanasia of him.

- but why? - i asked.

- well… it’s been years and he never once put it in the effort to live - he said taking a few papers and giving it to me and Namjoon, the hybrid records - he’s not eating anymore, doesn’t get any heats, makes no effort on mating and doesn’t let anyone help with his shedding .

- Shedding? - i asked, so he means… the rare snake hybrid.

- yes. He’s now in your hands - Jin said, looking at me and Namjoon.

- you want us to do exactly what? - Namjoon asked - from the looks of it, doesn’t seem like we can do anything about it.

- you both will be working on this case with me, the big boss - he made a sing pointing up, signaling the higher ups, his father - found a female rare snake hybrid and he wants them to reproduce before euthanizing him.

I felt sick.

- are you kidding me?! - i said, stunted - you’re just going to… - I couldn’t even say it - after all theses years?

- I know that’s why i want you guys to work on it, - a long sigh left his lips - i only trust you both with this.

- maybe we can help him out and not put him down? - I tell him.

- believe me y/n - Jin looked at me deep in the eyes - we tried but…. Sometimes is better this way, is hard on him too.

I looked down at the papers in my hands.

Min Yoongi - snake hybrid.

Code: RED. Dangerous species. Specie: Black mamba.

Date of birth: Unknown. Male.

Current status: to be put down. Date: three months from now.

Resume: This patient needs to be prepared for a mating season as he had never had one, to ensure the precision and higher chances of reproduction of the rare hybrid species. The black mamba hybrid is to be taken care of from now to the time of mating, every side effect must be related to the one in charge of the case. To ensure assurance that this case will be dealt with assertiveness.

I felt sick.

….

I couldn’t help but think about it for the rest of the day. The fact that they would just give up on him after all these years of testing and keeping him lock up in here that he simply didn’t want to make any effort to live anymore, and how the clinic was just going to put him down not giving a single care about him for real.

They are going to end him right after they get him to reproduce, just to ensure they still have a rare hybrid of his specie. Another one to end just like him.

Looking down at the food in front of me I felt sick in my stomach at that. How could they?

- you look deep in thought - Namjoon said over me, he sat down in front of me after putting his tray of food on the table.

- sorry i just can’t stop thinking…

- about the hybrid? - he said - look I know you and I’m sure that’s why Jin chose you to assist me with this case but, let’s just make sure he at least leave in peace okay?

- okay..

No.

I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I did. You don’t know me Namjoon, I’ll make sure that hybrid lives.

No matter what it takes.

- we’ll meet him later right? - i ask him, he looks at me over his lashes as he holds his phone looking at it.

- yeah, after lunch - he takes off his glasses - are you ready to see the snake hybrid for the first time?

- yeah - I wonder what he looks like, most hybrids have some feature that help identifying what kind of hybrid they are. Does the snake hybrid has scales all over him? - he shouldn’t look too scary right?

Namjoon only giggle at my question, a knowing smile growing on his lips and my mind quickly realizing it.

- Kim Namjoon! You’ve meet him already! - i stated.

- of course I did, he had an appointment at six in the morning. - he said, a sight leaving his lips - What an ass.

- why so early? - knowing Namjoon hates waking up too early, he must felt stressed. Especially having to take care of a hybrid that demands so much more care.

- His sleep circle is different… - he started - and since we are trying to get him to feel the beginning of a heat so he can mate, his room was changed to acommodate him.

- oh… - realization hits me - so it will give the illusion of his heat beginning?

- yes, we also changing the room temperature to make it happen as naturally as possible - he said - the hotter the better.

- no way… - i said - I’ll have to work in hell too?

- trust me.. it doesn’t need hot temperatures to make it hell. - Namjoon looked at me - he’s good at that on his own.

- is he that bad? - he couldn’t be… right?

- I’ll let you see it for yourself - was all Namjoon said.

After lunch Namjoon passed me the instructions of our appointment with the snake hybrid, since he wasn’t eating he had to take vitamins straight into the blood.

To be honest i felt sad at that. You don’t eat when you don’t have an appetite, is he that bad in condition to not even eat? They’ve been neglecting him for so long and now are trying to force him to mate.

More and more i questioned if what i was doing was right.

I walk beside Namjoon towards the elevators, special hybrids stay on the sixth floor so that’s where we’re headed. They need to be separated from the other hybrids as their instincts are a lot more higher and demand more care, you can’t put cat hybrid in the same place you have a wolf hybrid. So we divided the floor for special species, wild hybrids in a floor and domestic hybrids in one. Of course there’s the special cases divided by codes, the snake hybrid was a code red which meant he was dangerous. Code reds are usually the hardest one to work with because they can and will hurt their doctors and especially other hybrids. Some don’t really mind the doctor but, other hybrids. Like a lion who sees a deer. They will always see them as a pray. So we have to keep them separate.

I look in front of me over the silver tray with the meds and vitamins he must take everyday, today Jin won’t be joining us he only will when much more serious procedures are to be taking action.

Namjoon is the one with the code to the hybrid door, each hybrid had their own room to accommodate all their individual needs. The snake room wasn’t different.

As soon as the door is open a heat of hot air hits me, the room is a bit dark but the lights get brighter as we enter, Namjoon walks towards the hybrid who lays on a big bed in the center of the room. Almost looking like a nest with all the covers and pillows around it.

I make my way to the table beside the door to prepare the meds and vitamins.

- good afternoon Yoongi - Namjoon says to the hybrid - time for your meds and vitamins.

- i don’t need it…. - a deep male voice says, the hairs in the back of my neck shivering at the sound of him - who’s is that?

He meant me. My heart skipped a beat at getting his attention. He is the first special hybrid I’ve ever meet. One of the most dangerous one too.

- that’s my assistant - Namjoon tells him, he’s talking about me - everything ready y/n?

- yes Joon… - i turn to him taking the silver tray with me.

Stopping in my tracks as I take in the figure of the hybrid. He didn’t look like anything i imagined, he didn’t have weird snake eyes and not was his skin full of scales like the reptile. He looked almost human… if it wasn’t for the almost unnoticeable scales on his neck that fallowed up to his ears so delicately, as he moved his head to the side eyes locked over my figure the scales shined a bit. A color of white pearl and soft grey.

He wore something different from what I was used to see on the other hybrids, while the others wore a type of pijama white clothing he whore silk shining bottom up shirt and pants.

Realizing i wasn’t moving and just staring rudely at the hybrid I quickly made my way to Namjoon to give him the meds. My checks burning.

- no - the hybrid said looking at Namjoon with a bored expression - i don’t like the way you smell… i won’t take anything from you.

- you still need to take your vitamins - Namjoon insisted taking one of the syringe from the tray.

- i said I don’t need it - the hybrid growls, coming closer.

- your condition tells me otherwise - Namjoon said to him, both looking at each other. The temperature seemed to rise even more as they looked almost like provoking each other. A silent fight.

The hyrbrid eyes found mine staring at his, he looked at me up and down no expression on his face. Than turned to Namjoon.

- she can do it - he said, a bored expression coming back to his features.

- she’s not in charge of that - Namjoon said, a stern lock on face - I’m the one who is, so get over it.

I looked at him chocked. He seemed angry. Namjoon who usually is calm and careful with his patients was now the complete opposite, he stood his ground and faced the hybrid as if trying to prove he was the Alfa.

And for the first time I was angry at him, not only this was a delicate case. The hybrid could attack if he felt threatened. That could only worsen the situation for the hybrid.

- I can do it Joon - i tell him quietly turning to him lifting the silver tray for him to take it. I gave him a nod of assurance. He looked at me than the hybrid.

- are you sure about it y/n? - he asked me, worry over his face now.

- of course i can - i assure him - I do it all the time.

His eyes locked with mine as he talked. I heard Namjoon sighed as he turned to me taking the silver tray from my hands.

Giving him a small smile I took the vitamins syringe, the hybrid stood in front of me opening his white shirt one bottom after the other eyes locked with mine to catch my reaction, I tried not give any reactions and keep my gaze eye level but it was impossible when he stood right there exposing his beautiful skin for me.

He wasn’t covered in scales as many would’ve imagine but definitely had a few on his ribs that fallowed down to his v line, just like before they shined a bit over the light a white pearl with silver. I gulped down eyes looking back into his as he stood in front of me reveling his left arm for me to aply the syringe. His eyes never once left mine, he had eyes so dark I couldn’t tell if there was any color in them black light the night sky.

I held his arm to insert the syringe into his skin, he didn’t move at all. During the whole processe he didn’t broke the eye contact. Cleaning the small bit of blood that came after taking the syringe off his skin. Namjoon gave me the next one, i apply it into his skin once again. After the last one, I cleaned and put a small piece of medical tape over it so it doesn’t bleed.

- I’m done… - i say, standing next to Namjoon. He gave me the tray and I took it to the table beside the door.

The hybrid began to bottom up his shirt. Namjoon look it up the papers for the hybrid next appointment as I took the small white cup with he’s meds walking back to the hybrid I held the cup up for him to take. He took the cup from my hand brushing his fingers over mine, his hand looking much bigger than mine, I kept my focus on that too nervous to look up into his dark eyes again. I held the water up for him, which he took it again brushing his fingers over mine. He drank it my eyes fallowing up at his neck starring at the scales over his skin. They looked so delicate almost like a painting over his skin, closer you could see that little silver that shined over the light. Not realizing he came closer until I felt his breath hitting over my face, making me look at him immediately. Dark eyes staring into mine with boredom, he tilted his head to the side coming closer inspecting my face.

- you’re not afraid? - he whispered, only for me to hear. My breath got stuck on my throat.

- should I be?… - I whispered back, swallowing hard. He looked down at me than back into my eyes, tilting his head to the other side black orbs staring deep into mine i fallow his move tilting my head to the same side. Complete hypnotized by him.

- any changes in your shedding? - Namjoon asked the hybrid, while writing something down on the paper. - it should have started already.

At hi voice I came back to reality, turning quickly with the two cups. Taking them to the table beside the door to despose of them int he trash can.

Making my way back to stand beside Namjoon once I was done, my eyes going back to the hybrid standing in front of us.

He had the same expression as before, unbothered.

- same as always - he answered tiredly, going back to his bed.

I saw the way his plain answer made Namjoon clench his jaw. He wasn’t making any effort to cooperate with Namjoon, I notice he was difficult but not an asshole. It was painful to watch them interact, Namjoon clearly didn’t like the way the hybrid acted but, I have dealt with a few difficult hybrids before this was only a way to protect themselves after going through so much.

This behavior seemed to be common with Wild species, I’ve seen it before with a lion hybrid I took care of before.

Sometimes you just have to be persistent, and careful.

- I heard it could be painful if not taken care of, is everything alright with it? - i asked this time, which made both males look at me.

The hybrid looked at me not saying anything for a while. Than he smirked and walked towards me making Namjoon stand closer to me protectively. He looked at Namjoon smile slowly falling forming into a bored expression again, showing how the presence of the other male affected him.

- I don’t want any of your help with it - he said, eyes locked into mine - last time…

- you almost killed one of our doctors - Namjoon interrupted the hybrid, one arm closing around me to put me back.

Almost…

- he shouldn’t have touched me - the hybrid said eyes burning over Namjoon, anger on his face.

Hands closing into fists, he walked closer to us standing in front of Namjoon. He was ready to attack if needed, if something is not done it could end very badly Namjoon doesn’t notice but with this behavior he is provoking the hybrid to act instinctively.

It is clear that the heat season has started for him and in mating season hybrids tend to get more competitive and sensitive, a male showing up to his space staring dominance wouldn’t do any good.

- you both stop - i said releasing myself from Namjoon standing between them both, turning to the hybrid I said - please, Yoongi let me treat you okay?

He didn’t like when people crossed his boundaries i get that, sometimes it could be very overwhelming. But knowing what they are going to do to him because of that behavior, i just couldn’t help but get in between them. It was something we could work out and maybe if i succeed they won’t put him down anymore.

- it is important that you go through your shedding the easiest way possible - i tell him - so I’ll be in charge of it okay? How is that?

He looked at me for a while, slightly turning his head to the side. Pundering the idea in his head. For some reason he looked me up and down before looking at Namjoon behind me, a small smile making its way to his lips.

- only if is you - was all he said before going back to his bed.

A sight of relief leaving my lips, even though I cloud feel the stare of Namjoon a glare over my back.

…

To say Namjoon didn’t like that idea was an understatement. He hate it.

Insisting it was a bad idea to proceed with hybrid treatment by myself, that could be dangerous not only that but the fact that the hybrid had poison on his teeth just like a snake would. It wasn’t lethal but enough to cause discomfort, and it was what had happened the last time they tried to help with his shedding.

But that didn’t changed my mind. Not after I actually meet him, it seemed to me he didn’t want any one close that felt threatening to him. He wasn’t just any kind of hybrid, not a dog that loves attention and touch but a snake one. Snakes always acted out when feeling threatened. Attacking was their only defense.

So it made sense to me that he would be reluctant to let anyone get too close, especially after heaving so many tests on him without his consent. He’s been so mistreated and now they want to put him down.

It angers me.

I decided to chose an hour where i knew Namjoon would be busy in a meeting to do that. No long after we had left the hybrid room he began to lecture me on how dangerous Yoongi could be, that i shouldn’t act like that when he was the one in charge of this case. It slipped his mouth that the clinic simply started to give him vitamins when he stopped eating so he wouldn’t die.

It came to me how neglected he’s been this whole time. After that i decided to secretly go to the hybrid and feed him, which was where i was headed now.

I made sure no one was around once i stopped in front of the hybrid door. Using the number code I saw Namjoon used before to open the lock on it. It made a sound before opening.

The hot air hitting my face as I entered, they had turned higher this time it was hotter than before. The lights slowly began to light up as I walked in, the door closing behind me automatically.

At that the hybrid came up from his bed looking confused at me. Of course. I shouldn’t be there.

- hey - i greet him. He doesn’t say anything.

I walk up to him, stoping in front of the nest looking bed. A sing of his heat starting. That was a good sign. He held himself up with his arms looking my up from the bed.

- why are you here? - his voice was low and heavy.

- I just… - I trailed off as he fully lifted his body form his laying position, now sitting on his bed. Shirt open and sliding off his shoulders, not showing much but enough to see his scales.

He looked me over his lashes checks a bit red and sweat falling over the side of his face.

- i brought you something… - a sight left his lips - are you okay?

- yeah… what did you brought me? - his curious dark eyes following my body as I came closer.

- it’s tangerines - i say, showing him the two fruits i held in my hands.

- what’s a tangerine? - he asked eyeing them closer.

- you don’t know? - i gasped. Sitting beside him i slowly began to open one in a half giving it to him, he smelled before looking at me not knowing what to do.

- I never seen one… smells nice - he said.

- you eat it - i tell him, taking one and holding in front of his lips. He didn’t move at all, only looked at me.

For a moment I thought I had crossed his bounderies, for a moment I thought I was just being stupid. But then it came to me, he hasn’t eaten in years. He don’t even know what a tangerine is.

Maybe he didn’t even felt hunger anymore. Maybe he’ll throw the stupid fruit at me.

My checks were getting warmer as I felt nervous but, slowly he smelled the fruit in my hand taking a careful bite of it. Still looking at me, the juicy fruit spilling a bit in my fingers.

I watched him expectedly, wondering if he will like it or hated. He swallowed and looked at the fruit in my hand.

- that’s good… - he said. I sight of relief left my lips.

- you want more? - i asked him, he nodded slowly making me smile.

He didn’t move a single finger to eat though, I had to feed him the two tangerines the whole time. It didn’t bother me though, I felt so happy seeing him eat something other then taking those vitamins.

It means so much in the process of a hybrids treatment that they are feeding themselves, i couldn’t hold my happiness as I watched him.

Once he eat all of them he looked at me then at my hands, dark eyes shining under the light.

- sorry it was all I got - I tell him. - I’ll bring you more if you want.

- you will? - his eyes shining bright as he looked at me. I nodded at him.

- can i ask you… why you don’t eat? - i said, he doesn’t look at me turning to look at the floor.

- I don’t… feel like it… - he simply said.

He looked so sad now. No appetite wasn’t good. When in the absence of sickness it could only mean he was very depressed. They wanted to put him down because he was depressed.

I wouldn’t let them.

- You don’t seem to mind me around you… - I comment.

- you smell good. - he said, turning to look at me - and delicious, like tangerines.

I chuckled at his comparison. He watched me attentively, a different light on his dark eyes now.

- okay… I try my best to take care of you - i tell him. For a moment he only stares at me.

Red checks and bit of sweat on his chest, he turned his head to the side still raring at me. I fixed my glasses feeling a bit intimidated by his deep stare.

- You… - before he could end his sentence the door opened.

Namjoon entered the room looking at us confused, his eyes falling over my presence there. I shouldn’t be here. It’s what I read in his eyes.

- yn? - he asked, confusion clearly on his voice as he walked closer to where I was with the hybrid.

- Oh hey I was just… - i tried to make up an excuse but he cut me mid sentence.

- Leaving, right? - he interrupted. I swallowed nervous. He was never hard on me, hearing him be like that wasn’t nice.

- Yeah… - i murmured, taking the fruit peels with me as I got up from the hybrids bed.

- No… - Yoongi held my wrist stopping me, turned to look at him but he stared at Namjoon.

- You have an appointment with me now, it doesn’t include y/n so let her go… - for some reason Namjoons way of putting what he was doing there made me nervous.

I know he would never hurt a hybrid, but yoongi was very reluctant to any one else being too close to him. Namjoons display of dominance could make him defensive and things might not go well.

- maybe I could help - i tried to sound calm.

- y/n, your here to assist me not take over the procedures - Namjoon tells me, his words sending a sharp sting in my heart.

I couldn’t find words to reply his. Too embarrassed by his words to me in front of the hybrid, i bit into my lower lip. Not looking at them.

- Let her go yoongi - Namjoon said walking towards us.

At his words I realized Yoongi was now standing behind me, hand still around my wrist. His slow breathing hitting my shoulder. I lifted my gaze to Namjoon who now seemed a bit worried. But the hybrids closeness to me wants what made me uncomfortable.

- Yoongi… - Namjoon warned.

- Joon don’t - I tell him holding my hand up for him not to get closer - can you wait a bit?

He looked at me reluctant before nodding, still not taking his eyes off the hybrid. I turned to Yoongi slowly, a small smile on my lips as I stared into his deep dark orbs, to make sure he knew I was fine.

- Are you okay? - he asked me, I looked at him surprised. - he hurt you with his words.

I couldn’t hide my surprise at his words, he could tell from just that?

- It’s okay… I don’t care about his words - I whispered o him, giving him a small smile.

I tried to take my wrist from his hold but he didn’t let go, not to hard to hurt me. I could tell he was being careful not to use his full strength on me.

- Will you came back? - he asked, eyes looked into mine.

- Of course. - i tell him.

With that he let go of my wrist.

I turned to Namjoon taking his arm to leave the hybrid room. He reluctantly fallowed me towards the door of the room. Once we were both outside I kept my hold on his arm taking him with me around the corridor towards the elevators.

- where you taking me? - he asked, as if nothing had happened earlier.

- To Seokjin, we need to have a talk - i tell him, anger boiled over me.

- We? - he pushed his arm out of my grip - You’re being the irresponsible one not me!

- I’m!? - I stopped in the middle of the corridor, turning to him anger building up through my body.

- Yes! - he stated, closer to me - Do I need to remind you of your position here?

- Do I need to remind you of your stupid ego standing between the safety of a hybrid and your pride?! - i yell at him.

At that he went quiet.

- were talking with Seokjin now. - i state - I won’t let you make this whole processe more difficult than it has to be just because of your pride.

I held his arm again, taking him with me to the elevators. He didn’t say anything else anymore, I could tell he was angry but so was I.

The whole time he was only stating dominance over Yoongi, I was tired of them all thinking that could just hurt the hybrid even more now just because she was going to be put down.

I wouldn’t let them.

The walk to Seokjins office was quiet except for the tense energy around us, once I stood in front of his door I don’t bother to nock. Entering with anger burning under my skin.

Seokjin gave me a curious look, as he was folding some paper on his desk.

- sorry Jin - i say. He looked at me and Namjoon a questioned look on his face. - we need to talk about Yoongi.

- oh, right - he says - what is it?

- She’s being… - Namjoon started, but I interrupted him.

- Yoongi has been showing clear signs of discomfort with male doctors - at that Namjoon scoffed, I looked at him angry turning my gaze to Jin as I continued - he say he will do the appointments as long as I’m the one closer to him.

- I see.. - Jin thinks for a moment before continuing - what’s the problem?

- Namjoon is not letting me - i tell him, arms crossed over my chest.

-She just went into his room without any one knowing and… - Namjoon began.

- And gave him food - i say, looking at him. We both shared a look of hatred before Jin interrupted.

- What? - Jin asked.

- He eat… - I tell him.

- He… he eat food? - they both looked at me surprise.

- Yes, I’m sure I can help a lot more with this case if you let me take charge of the procedures that involves more… closeness to him, he’s been through a lot and seemed more calm around me.

- I see… - Jin pondered the idea first - then as long as you’re not alone for safety reasons, I don’t see a problem with you taking charge of his appointments.

- But she’s.. - Namjoon says, but is cut by Jin.

- Namjoon, y/n has been taking care of hybrids for years she knows what she’s doing, please I need you both working on this together - Jin says, sounding tired.

Namjoon only nods.

- any updates about him? - jin asked.

- i can tell that his heat i starting - I say - his behavior at least shows me that.

- okay… we’ll than we are almost there - Jin says - keep that good work and please, do this together.

- thanks jin - i tell him, he gives me a nod and i make my way to leave the office.

Namjoon stayed behind. I didn’t payed much mind to it. Quickly making my way out of there walking to the elevators, I had a lot of work to do other than Yoongi case.

More patients that needed treatment just as badly, not the he wasn’t just as special to me.

…..

It was late at night again.

I wasn’t planning to staying late again but, a hybrid was just checked in after being attacked by a another wild hybrid. The same case has happened before, that is way wild hybrids where never up for adoption. Yet some people always manage to get them, usually never for good reasons.

The poor hybrid this time was a bunny one, I was surprised when I first saw him. Usually bunny hybrids where the smallest species to exist but, this one was big. Not too tall but very muscular and strong.

When he was checked in he was still in defense mode, attacking every one and very scared. They had to apply a sedative on him to finally be able to put him on his room.

You could guess my reaction after I was told the story and short after that, Hoseok told me I was the one in charge of his case.

My shift ended hours ago and yet here I was cleaning cuts on the face of a bunny hybrid who seemed to know nothing about shutting up.

- such a pretty doctor I have.. - he said, a smile on his lips as he looked at me.

- Jungkook stop talking I’m trying to apply the med on your lip… - i tell him for the fifth time already, he only chuckled.

I sight taking a clean cotton with med to clean the cut over his eyebrow, he was sitting over his bed as I stood between his legs to clean his bruises.

He shouldn’t be awake. He was sedated before but, no long after he was wide awake and talking none stop, he commented on my but and how lucky he was to be treated by me.

I only sighted. That was knew. Usually my patients where too scared to be treated at first. So I just brushed off his comments.

Jungkook was abandoned when younger by his last owner, he then grow up in an underground fighting club where clandestine fights were held. He told me he was the best one there, a lot of people bet on him at the fights until he got in trouble with this one wolf hybrid.

- how did you end up here again? - I asked him.

- I was… - his checks went red and he looked down - to be honest I’m still.. ah, I was in heat…

- oh.. - I looked at him, still no understanding. He was shy, ears dropping beside his head.

- I was trading to mate but… so was the wolf… - he said.

- but you’re…

- she wasn’t like me… - he tells me, realizing what he meant I felt a warm wave up my checks.

Different species trying to mate, that was the first time I heard that, the underground has a lot going on than.

- well… it could happen - I say, making sure I cleaned every bruise on his face - here in the clinic we help our hybrids with all their needs, so don’t worry.

- oh.. will you treat me than doctor? - he asked, amused.

- yes, you’re my patient - i tell him, taking his file to prescribe him his medication and future exams.

- humm… - he only murmured - doctor are you in heat?

His question gets me by surprise and I look at him, mouth opening and closing. Just what was going on now? Did he perhaps hit his head too?

At my expression he chuckled one arm closing around my waist as he pulled me closer to him, I gasped feeling his nose against my neck. Not knowing what to do I held my hand up in the air, too afraid to even touch him. The smallest reaction could start something I wasn’t intending to.

- I can smell in you… - he says over my ear, my checks burning hot - hum, ready to be filled…

At his words i tried to push him, hands over his chest only to find his eyes staring deep into mine his checks where red and pupils full. It hit me. He was still on his heat.

That explains his behavior the whole time. How could I not notice earlier?

- you’re still in heat - i state. He only chuckled.

- am i? - he came closer to kiss me but i immediately pushed him down the bed - oh, I like that… doctor you’re making me fall for you…

I ignore his nonsense as I made my way to grab a sedative, bunnies were the hardest ones to deal with when on their heat, first I would have to put him to sleep before giving him the medicine to lessen his heat. At least till we are done with his treatment. Then we would put him to mate the right way.

Coming back to him I stared at him think where I would apply it, he didn’t stop moving. I stood between his legs holding the sedative behind my back.

- Jungkook… - i tried to get his attention, he looked at me immediately- I need to do something for me okay?

- yes pretty doctor- he tried to get up but I quickly held his chest down, he smiled at me. He looked as if he were on drugs, high on his heat.

It could only mean things were getting worse, he wasn’t on full rut but was getting there. It would be impossible to treat him if he’s on rut.

- don’t move okay? - i tell him, his hand held mine over his chest as he nodded.

Without him noticing i insert the syringe into his thigh, he’s so into his heat to even notice the pain.

I count ten seconds in my head before releasing my hold over his chest, he doesn’t try to get up.

- oh I’m sleepy… - he says, hand falling from mine as he closes his eyes slowly going into deep sleep.

A sight of relief leaves my lips once he falls asleep. I prepare some medicine to calm his heat, I wasn’t a fan of suppressants but in this case is needed. Just until we are done treating him. Than I’m sure he will be put into mating process so he can have a safe and healthy heat.

After I’m done giving him his medicine, I write it down his next appointment and a new prescription.

Leaving the room I sight, my right hand massaging my neck. I look over my phone to see the time realizing it was way past eleven. Walking down the corridor to the elevators, my ringtone woke me up from daydreaming about my comfort bed.

- yes - o took the call.

- hey y/n - it was Jin - did you check on the special hybrid?

- wasn’t Joon going? - I said, confused at his words. He told me he would.

- no he head an emergency at home and had to leave - Jin explained, I sight.

- oh, i will than - i tell him.

- you seem tired y/n do you want me to go instead? - he offers.

- no is fine… - i tell him - he die a know you yet, it could make things difficult.

- okay - Jin says - call me if anything happens.

- I will, thank you.

I turn off the call, getting in the elevator. I push the bottom to the floor of the special hybrids where. My eyes feeling a bit heavier, I tried to push it away. Just one last check up and I can go home.

The elevators doors opened at the floor, the sound waking me up from my tiredness. I quickly made my way through the long corridor with doors to Yoongis room.

Pressing the code on the lock beside the door, it opens making a sound. The hot wave of air hitting my body as usual once i made my way in, the lights slowly turning back on.

Once they’re on I made my way to his bed, panicked at not seeing him there or any sing of him at all.

- Yoongi? - i call out his name, locking around the room but still no sight of him.

My heart begins to beat faster, as my mind runs different scenarios of what might have happened. Worry filling my body as I throw the papers i gel in my hand on the floor, taking my cellphone to call Jin as I turn to leave the room.

Still with eyes locked on my phone i don’t notice the lights slowly turning off, nothing takes my attention from the cellphone until arms close over my wrist turning my around.

My phone falling on the ground as he pushed me against the wall, both hands holding my wrists over the wall above my head.

- Yoongi?! - I stared into his dark orbs, relief filling me up. - I thought something happened to you…

He didn’t said anything. A hard look over his features, I couldn’t decipher what it meant. He held me tighter coming closer to my face.

- why do you smell like trash? - he spat.

- what? - I was so lost.

I knew I worked late but, is not like didn’t look out for myself. Working at the clinic I had to make sure I was always clean. I couldn’t understand what he meant.

- you stink of male rut… - he spat at me, hissing at the end. Eyebrows furred into an angry expression.

I should’ve thought about that before coming here stray after treating a hybrid on heat, shit. Knowing how Yoongi was sensitive about others males I should’ve at least put on some perfume.

- it’s not like that… - i tried to lessen his anger but it only seemed to make it worse.

- I don’t care… - he pushed himself away from me - don’t ever come back here smelling like that again…

- I won’t - i tell him, still not moving I watched as he walks back to his bed. - im sorry, I didn’t have time to… wash this off.

He doesn’t say anything, sitting on ver his bed he looks at me from afar.

- tomorrow will start your shedding treatment… - i tell him, still not moving from my spot.

At the smell of another male it was better did I kept my distance so it wouldn’t be too overwhelming for him who had a much higher sense.

- i just came to check on you, to make sure…

- come here - he interrupted, he voice sounded heavy almost a growl.

I would be lying if a said I wasn’t afraid, my phone was lost somewhere in this room and I had no way of calling for help if something happened. Although I knew he wouldn’t do something to hurt me i couldn’t be sure, the situation was a lot different now.

I could say something but, his instincts would say another complete different than mine.

Still I made my way towards him. Stopping a few steps away from him.

- closer… - he sighted. Dark eyes looking me up and down.

I gulped down, making my way closer to him. Stopping in front of him.

He looked up at me boxers getting up from the bed, close enough to kill me if he wanted to.

- was it a patient of yours? - he asked, voice low and raspy. He meant the smell.

- yes… - i manage to whisper, I felt so small in front of him. Like a pray.

- you’ll see him again? - he asked, taking a step closer. No distance between us. His breath hitting my face.

- yes… - i tell him, my eyes finally looking up at his.

He only nodded understanding.

- I don’t like this smell on you - i says, making me gulp down as i looking into his eyes. - but i understand…

He pushes me against him it happens so fast, once I notice he is pressing me down on his bed. Both his legs on each side of my hips, he held my arms up against the nest of covers and sheets.

Keeping them up he slides his hands down my arms over my sides, one finger playing with the bottoms of my shirt.

- you look healthy… - he murmurs eyeing me up and down.

- what…

He didn’t let me finish. Opening my shirt he went down over my chest, I gasped in surprise. Turning my face to the side, I expected anything except what he did.

I slowly opened my eyes at the feeling of his hot breath over my neck, my own breath got stuck in my throat the moment I felt the wetness of his tongue sliding over my chest up my neck.

- what are you doing? - I asked, my voice was only a whisper.

- taking that disgusting smell off you - he said over my neck.

- oh…

- but you’ll see him again… - he said, I turned to look at him.

- I have to, his my patient - i explained.

- than this won’t do… - he whispered more to himself, one hand holding my chin up he slowly turned my face to the side.

With my neck on full display for him he came closer, this time whispering over my ear.

- have you ever been bitten by a snake?

At his question my mind rushed with realization, my heart beating faster as his lips brushed over my skin. I tried to move my legs but he only used his body weight to held me down, my hands over his shoulders trying to push him away were quickly held up over my head with his left hand.

He chuckled at my useless try’s to get away from him.

A gasp leaving my lips immediately at the feeling of his sharp teeth carving my skin, tears filling my eyes at the painful sensation of his teeth inserting his venom on me. His hands slowly leaving his hold over me, i couldn’t move.

Once he took his teeth out of my skin, I groaned in pain. Feeling the warm liquid fall down my neck, he licked over the bite. Hand holding my chin to look at him.

- don’t worry… it will feel good soon - I looked up at him, his voice was a whisper in the dark.

My mind felt dizzy, vision getting blurry the heat of the room wasn’t helpful. My whole busy was burning, I tried to push him away but as soon as my hands came in touch with the silk over his skin my entire body responded, a wave of electicity coming up from the tips of my fingers to my whole body.

- Yoongi…

My eyes began to get heavier and heavier, hands falling beside me as I fell asleep.

Not before I felt his warm finger trace my jaw softly, his voice so far away I couldn’t make out what he said before I fall completely asleep.

Am i dying?

Next?

Notes: YES FINALLY!! Hehe I’m sorry for any grammatical typos! ☺️💖

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[slickchickchocolatier]

HI, I LOVE UR WRITING SO MUCH!!

can u do something,like a oneshot Or something for heeseung where because of being an idol he can't date but he's also a hormonal man so he gets hot and bothered due to stress and other factors often but now it's gotten to a point where he can't concentrate, he needs pussy. So he tells his manager who pulls him aside one day to ask him what's wrong with him. Now the manager arranges someone (YOU) as a stress reliever for heeseung. U can continue the rest hehe:)

”The Arrangement.”

Warnings: Idol HS and y/n, oral (fem receiving), reader is getting paid for sex, hints of rough smut.

“Heeseung, come on! More energy! Bring out Ethan Lee! Concert is in a few hours, we need everyone on point.”

Heeseung’s hands remained firm on his hips as he rolled his eyes and caught his breath. He was frustrated, angry, and disappointed, mainly because there was a lot of truth in the staff’s words, he wasn’t as lively or energetic…in fact, he was slacking. 

“Yeah….got it. Can we do another take?” 

The staff and creative director all nod and aired the track as the boys performed their routine. “Yes! Just like that! Keep doing that Heeseung!”

“Nice wink, Jake! Do that more!”

“Sunoo, more smiling!”

“Jungwon, tilt your chin down more on this part.”

“Nice one Niki!”

“Jay, too sexy! Tone it down just a tad.”

“Sunghoon, do that thing that the girls like, you know, lick the fangs. That drives them crazy, and we want them to go ballistic during the concert.”

By the end of the hour, the group had completed a lengthy six hour session, with only ten minutes to spare before hair and makeup. “Changeover!” the staff yells out, already herding the young men backstage. 

“Heeseung…you good?”

“Huh?  Oh…yeah….”

“You sure? You seem to be out of it, I know it’s hard to get rest when we’re busy on tour…just a few more days and we can finally get a break.” Jake was always understanding, and normally he could guess the issue and provide the motivation as a resolve for everyone, including the eldest. However, this time…he wasn’t guessing correctly. 

“Yeah…thanks.” Heeseung merely stated before changing into the first outfit. He wasn’t tired or feeling restless, maybe to an extent, but that really wasn’t the cause of his lack in performance. The man was yearning; hungry for a desire that could not be fulfilled by the pampering treatment of first class air tickets, the rising fame of popularity, or the lavish hotel stay. He needed flesh, and badly. 

While it was customary for idol’s to keep things hush-hush as far as their personal lives went, it didn’t mean that they could indulge, so long as it never reached public sight or hearing. What with the frequent dates he’s gone on with many of the most well known female idols, some younger or older, the rigorous tour schedule had kept him from maintaining anything steady, and for so long he had been running dry. He wasn’t necessarily desperate, just needed the warmth and comfort of a suitable woman. 

The concert ended, and as always, the group had served well and performed fantastically. The energy was thriving and the atmosphere was filled with screams as each member waved goodbye. 

Finally, it was all done. 

“Well…we got two more days here until we fly back. We gonna do anything?” Jake inquires openly as he high-fives each member. 

“Niki and I were going to go try out this restaurant. They charge $300 per steak.”

“Oh I heard about that place. Don’t they have a year-long waitlist?” 

“Manager got us in.”

Heeseung pretended to be asleep, propping his head against the window as his arms remained firmly crossed against his chest. His ears pricked up as he overheard the ongoing conversation inside the van. 

After arriving at the hotel, everyone went into their respective rooms. As usual, Heeseung had a room entirely by himself, which he and the members were instructed to tell the fans that it was all due to chance of winning “Rock, Paper, Scissors” when in reality, the eldest of the group receives such privileges as customary within the industry. But for the sake of reflecting the bond and “softness” within their image, the company deemed it better to lie about the room assignments. 

He tosses his leather jacket aside as it flops onto the chair backing. Exhaustion took over his entire body as he threw himself on the bed. His eyes slowly open as he reaches for his phone, half of his face still buried into the plush bedding as he explores his pocket and dig it out. There was no way he could spend another night alone, taking care of his needs by hand. WIth as many callouses he had, there was no way he could even make it feel natural or good, there wasn’t enough lotion in the world that could cover up and mend the roughness of his hardworking skin. 

“We need to talk.” was all he types in before sending off the message. 

A few moments pass before he hears the knocking at his door. “Well that was fast…Mr. Manager.” he softly whispers while lifting his body off the bed. 

“Heeseung, what’s up?”

“Need you to come inside for a second.”  Heeseung nonchalantly spoke out as he turned and lazily plops himself on the couch. HIs manager followed closely behind and took a seat across, looking at the young man intently before raising the concern yet again. “Everything alright?”

“You really have to ask?” Heeseung peeks from under his elbow as he drapes an arm over his eyes. He really didn’t like to make eye contact when it came to the topic of girls and dating…and this wasn’t going to be any easier. “I need a woman…”

“.....you mean….a date?” his manager tries to confirm, before a snappy Heeseung gently corrects him. 

“Not to date….I need a woman…I need skin…flesh…hair….and nails to dig into my skin with a feminine voice to scream out my name.” 

“....so you want a prostitute?” 

“NOT A PROSTITUTE!” on the verge of losing it, Heeseung sits up rather abruptly as he squares his gaze over to his manager. He really wasn’t trying to be impatient or unpleasant, he was in a vulnerable state of mind. No man should ever go so long without feel the pleasures of someone else’s body, especially someone who is constantly surrounded by all these pretty little fans that were filling his mind with all sorts of sordid thoughts….them with their perfect makeup, the sweet fragrances of their perfume and those damn long and elegant acrylic nails. Day in and day out, he’s surrounded by feminine energy, it all contributed to this sexual demise he was falling into. “I’m just going to put it this way….if you don’t find me someone that can keep their mouth shut, and spend one night with me, then I am going to lose it. I’m on the verge of doing reckless things, and I can’t control it. Just find me someone that isn’t a prude but isn’t desperate.”

The manager knew Heeseung well enough to know when the young man was on the road to destruction, this was one of them. The heat of anger coming from his eyes was enough to tell him what he had to do. The hardest factor about this thing is finding someone suitable, not only in appearance but in their manners; he’d have to be cunning and covert. 

Five hours in, he nearly fell to the ground in defeat when suddenly…

“Excuse me, Sir?”

“Hm? Yes?”

“You dropped this back at the last walkway.” 

“Oh!...Thank you….”

You turned to  continue on with your own business when the gentleman spoke out in haste, you had assumed it was because he wanted to thank you once again for returning his wallet, but the tune of his wording made you realize that that wasn’t the case. 

“Young lady, I have a proposition for you…do you have a minute?”

…………………….

A half hour later, after an internal hesitant debate, you caved in at the young man’s offer. You weren’t the type to ever hook up with a random man, even an idol, but the fact that you had been running dry since your last break up over a year ago, and not to mention the exquisite monetary offer that would cover three months of your rent, which would leave you that much stress free from everything else going on. Your final year in college has been more demanding than the previous, so much that you had to quit your part time job, which left you struggling financially. All of this led to the perfect combination of desperation, sexually frustrated, and mentally drained. By the time he mentioned that a non-disclosure agreement would mandate that both you and the idol would refrain from exposing your identities, you accepted. 

Expressing that you wanted to get it done and over with, the man took you to the lavish hotel room, the most expensive in your home country. You weren’t entirely sure how you felt, being taken to an extremely fancy hotel room to meet a young and handsome performer and spend one night with him…for sex. Should you bail out now? 

“We’re here. Here’s the key card, it’s on the third floor, room number 306.” 

You take the key card and paused, thinking for a moment if you should just tell him that the deal was off. But the subtle push over towards the elevator pretty much sealed your night. 

You walked through the narrow corridor, staring at the gold engraving of the numbers on the key card. With a deep breath, you gently knocked on the door before inserting the key. “Hello?” you gently speak out as you open the door. The entire room was dimmed with a golden hue with no one in sight; the massive bed topped with goose feather pillows and comforter sets up an enticing welcome as you breach closer to the main layout. 

“Well hello.”

You turned in haste upon hearing the deep voice from behind, and saw him. He was leaning back against the wall, behind the door panel side. No wonder you didn’t see him when entering, the wide door swing provided enough cover for him to remain elusive yet still having enough sight to observe how delectable you look. His manager outdid himself. 

“Oh…hi…I’m sorry…my name is–”

“Y/N…”

“Y-yeah…”

The manager must have already texted the idol your name. You couldn’t lie, this entire thing was uncomfortable, and you were on the verge of backing out when the man started to walk over, stepping into the warm light. He had a handsome face, and was tall…very tall, but of all things that got to you, was the glaring look he had in his eye. He looked hungry, famished even, with the way he stroked his finger across his lips as he tilted his chin downard, arms loosely crossed as he took each step steadily. 

“Um…I’m not sure…if I should–”

“You’re already here…might as well get it going.”

He grabbed onto your shoulders, proceeding to walk forward as he herd’s you backwards until your back meets the opposite wall. He really was hungry, and unfortunately for you, it was contagious. WIth the way his hands roamed all over our body, the way his mouth immediately latched onto your throat, and the way his fingers ripped your blouse apart, sending buttons flying all over, he was a demon tainting every sense of rationality in your mind and you loved it. Still, you were experiencing hesitancy, but the moment he peeled your bra down and began sucking on your nipples, leaving squelching kisses the soft skin on your mounds. “W-wait…”

He doesn’t respond. Instead, he drags you down onto the ground, pushing you back to lay you down, leaving you completely vulnerable. He had to be hurting with the way he was feasting on your body, so much that you wondered exactly just how long he had gone without it, and was it longer than you? 

“I-I…” was all you could manage to stutter when he started to lift your skirt, ruffling it around your waist as he fingers the damask lining of your thigh high stockings. With a mouthful of your skin, he muffles his burning desire. “Stop trying to push me away…I’ve been hurting for so long.” 

You ignored his words as you continued to create some distance. You were torn, he felt so good rubbing your curves but also made you feel scared with how pushy and forceful he was becoming. You nearly screamed out when the sudden warmth of soft, plush lips tenderly kissed your clitoris. Being so caught up with his mannerisms, you hadn’t realized that he dragged and tore your panties off, leaving you bare and exposed. The way his tongue circulated around and pressed in between the folds of your womanhood caused you to drop your hands to your side, no longer putting up any resistance. He kept going, licking and twirling his tongue around, making your head spin vigorously as he committed the only gentle act of the night, which was placing his hands on your inner thighs and pushing them apart as he buried his face deeper into your core. 

You moaned out in extreme ecstasy, arching your back and digging your hips downward. You gulped down hard swallows as you try to catch your breath, but the sensation of his nose and mouth inducing the most pleasure you’ve felt in over a year had you inadvertently suppressing screams, choking on your own breaths. 

“O-oh!...Oh my God! P-please!” You dug your fingernails into the floorboard, squinting your eyes shut as you gasped out your moans, he went in faster and flickered his tongue deeper while shoving it inside your cavity. Groaning out his pleasures, he growls as he thrusts it in and out. He closes your legs together, pressing them closer to your chest as he wraps his arms around your thighs, still slurping and thrusting his oral muscle. Propping his stature on the caps of his knees, he hugs your thighs close to his chest as he lifts your derriere from off the floor as he brings you closer to the edge. HIs face shoved in against your taint, his slick tongue going in and out at a vigorous momentum, the faint echoes of his cheeks slapping into you as the impact caused your body to shift up while he had you partially levitated did you in, and you screamed out your moans. With your thighs shook, lips quivered, and chest heaving, you laid restlessly as the hot stream of fresh tears escaped from the outer corners of your closed eyes. Your heavy breathing became a rewarding sight as he remained in his kneeling position, unbuckling his belt. A smirk creeps up on his face as he sheds off his attire, chuckling in a demeaning manner as he looks down at you, somewhat pitifully and yet adoringly. 

“Oh pretty thing…the night is just getting started. Got a lot of pent up frustration in me, and unfortunately, I’m about to take it out all on you. Now…grab it…and scream out my name.”

……………………..

Days had passed since that night, and you still felt sore in between your legs. It was stingy, yet the pulsating rampage also reminded you of the greatest pleasure you had felt in all your life. Not even your ex-boyfriend, the one who was known to frequent the college campus girls, could even make you feel remotely as good. Must be an idol thing, either that or there must be something in the water in South Korea. Too bad you’ll never see him again. 

You were making your way over towards the bus station ahead, when a large crowd blocked your way. 

“Oh come on…” you tilted your head left, and right, all to find a small loophole within the bustling groups of young girls screaming their heads off and flashing dozens of pictures. You shuffled your way through, not paying any mind to your surroundings, when all of a sudden a young fellow dressed in black approaches you.

“Miss y/n?”

“Yes?...who are you?”

The man declines to answer, instead, he hands you a folded piece of paper. You unfolded it to read the contents, looking rather confused. 

‘Hey pretty thing, you free tonight?’

Looking up, the staff member smiles as he points to the side, indicating for you to look in that direction. Turning your head over shoulder, you were stunned to see the man from the other night, the idol who violated you with his tongue and cock, had you begging for more until the wee hours of the early morning. It was him…

“Oh my God is he looking at me?!”

“No he’s looking at me!”

“Heeseung! Heeseung!” 

All the girls waved and jumped, but the direct eye contact and small smirk told you of who he truly was looking at. He sends off a wink which had all the girls pool into an emotional and hormonal mess, leaving only you standing upright, with his eyes still looking directly into your own, he silently mouths out the words to you. 

“My…pretty….thing.”

[sephifrog]

so we're property huh?

sephiroth x reader

Cleaning the training room after the firsts destroyed it wasn’t how you wanted to spend your afternoon but after the stunt you pulled on your last mission you were surprised Lazard didn’t give you a harsher punishment. You knew you shouldn’t have left your post. Wiping away the sweat from your brow you almost smacked yourself when you heard someone clear their throat, you spun and saw Sephiroth in the doorway, a man who seemed so untouchable why was he here? Were you cleaning the wrong ruined training room? “O-oh? uh hey?” your stutter, something a lot of the soldiers joked about, caused you to narrow your eyebrows and clear your throat missing the small chuckle that left the man.

The silver-haired general was the whole reason you (and a lot of others) joined Shinra power company, you wanted to meet the legend but after years of only catching glimpses of him, you gave up on that dream and transferred from soldier candidate to inventory grunt, still a decent pay but less work at least that's what you told yourself.

So seeing him here was a shock. “I lost something when I was training you don’t mind if I look for it?” His voice was smoother than you thought it would be, hearing it through speakers didn’t do it justice and you could feel your face warm up as it rang through your ears. You almost couldn’t answer but willed yourself to choke out a noise that you hoped sounded like a “sure”

Tearing your eyes away from him you start to tidy again wondering what he lost, unsure if you should offer your help or if that would seem like you're trying to pry. In the end, you decide on just finishing the task the director gave you. While your back is turned Sephiroth peaks at you, he feels like he’s seen you before but can't place where, he hasn’t spent much time with inventory but he’s sure you weren't employed last time he worked with them. As he opens his mouth to ask an almost silent laugh is ripped out of him as you slip and start to grumble. Moving towards you he offers his hand and when your eyes meet he can't help but be taken by the colour, so beautiful, only snapping out of it when he spots the mako. “You had treatments?”

It was a whisper curious in nature almost childlike, his thin pupils seemed to have locked onto the remnants of mako swirling in your eyes. Interest is clear on his face as he observes yours closely.

You almost couldn’t respond to him, too lost in his eyes and feeling your heart race from him being so close but you cleared your throat.

“A while ago, before I transferred”

His lips press together as he pulls you up, eyes trailing over your body in interest.

“The mako didn’t take? I don't think I've heard of many transfers”

Again you noted curiosity in him as he asked, it put you a bit more at ease seeing him so human. He let go of your hand and started to continue his search but you could see he was still listening to you.

“Eh, they took but I didn’t want to stay so I transferred, I would have left but the contract says we can’t until the mako leaves our system, something that I don’t think will ever happen” you grumble the last sentence but snap your mouth shut realising who you're talking to.

He laughs nodding in agreement. “You would be correct, Shinra likes keeping their property close” His voice wasn’t harsh but his words seemed to be angry, you could tell it wasn't directed at you when he cleared his throat and looked away. the air seemed tense as you turned to continue cleaning the tinkering of metal rang out as you swept it up.

“We could continue to talk smack about Shinra over coffee?”

You froze as the words slipped out of your mouth, nervous laughter bubbling up but before it spilled out-

he responded.

“I would like that”

[obsessivelyloved]

This was requested on one of my nsfw blogs but I went insane and made it 3,000 words long. So I can post most of it here lol. Just know that in my heart, this takes place in Arkham. Also I'm super rusty so I apologize if anything feels off/wonky. The ending is abrupt here bc the rest of it/the ending is nsfw. I was up til 5am writing this and I'm not writing a sfw ending for this blog until after i get more sleep.

Anon asks: I’m a big sucker for Psych Au fics. Reader is a cis female doctor who treats Tord with kindness. He becomes obsessed with her. Refuses to talk to any other doctor. Tord is always on his best behavior for her which leads her to let her guard down. BIG MISTAKE

___________________________________________________________

“You dropped this.” 

The man stares at you wide eyed as you hand him his lighter. He stands, rigid. You give him a gentle smile and press it into his palm, your other hand curling around the back of his hand. 

“I know there’s no fluid in it, so you don’t have to worry about me taking it,” you say to him. You pat his hand and step away.

The man turns fully towards you and you’re able to read the name sewed onto his shirt. 

“I-” the man- Tord- swallows hard. He quickly pockets the lighter. “Thank you.” 

You give him another smile and walk past him. He seemed to be going the same way as you but he never caught up. Nor did you hear footsteps behind you. Once you reach the director’s office, he leaves your thoughts. You were determined to make a good first impression on your first day of the job. 

The man you met earlier had turned out to be your first patient. And oh boy, what a patient he was. Like you had promised yourself you weren’t going to judge any of these people but god damn. His file was thick. At least twenty papers were inside the manilla folder you had received from the head director’s office. Maybe even more. 

You’d never know if you kept standing outside the director’s office gawking at it. You take a deep breath. Going through it sitting down was probably a good idea. As you make your way to the breakroom, your grip on the folder is tight, trying your best to make sure you don’t drop it and reveal your patient's file. 

Thankfully, it doesn’t take you long to get to the breakroom. A few people were there but they paid you no mind. They sit, hunched over lunch or their own files. You sit and start to read. 

Løvik Tord

3 7 2 5 9

DOB: 1995

Age: 28

Hair: Dark brown with lighter brown roots

Eye: Silver

You end up skimming through this until you get to the bottom of the page. It wasn’t… pretty. 

CASE INFORMATION: 

Tord is a violent man. He is aggressive, manipulative, and has a short temper. Many doctors have tried working with him to no avail. He does not respond kindly to Dr.Casey (see page 5), Dr.Bonnie (see page 8), Dr.Roxy (see page 12), or Dr.Harley (see page 15). 

He is extremely aggressive towards Dr. Bruce (see page 20). 

You stop reading there, your chest feeling tight. You flip to page twenty. It’s not the last page like you had hoped. There were still…. Quite a bit in the file. 

Dr.Bruce has tried everything he can to help Tord. He has tried finding common ground with the patient. Has tried being lax and strict with Tord’s schedule. Has tried working with Tord and letting him sit outside. Tord had found every loophole and burned every bridge until Dr.Bruce stopped lenient treatments. Tord stabbed Dr.Bruce fifteen times before guards made their way into the room. 

It is unknown how and where he had gotten his hands on a sharp long blade. Tord was seen licking the blood of-

“Don’t worry if you can’t fix him. At this point, Doctor Markman hands his case off to fresh blood to showcase this place. No one expects you to be able to tame him.” 

You startle at the voice, goosebumps raised on your arms. “I’m sorry?” you ask with a polite smile. Anger clouded your fear. What the hell was this person talking about?

The doctor, Alice, her name tag reads, smiles at you. 

“Nearly everyone has tried working with him at this point,” she continues. “No one expects him to ever get better. He's here for murder, after all.” 

You give her a tight smile in return. “I’ll just have to see for myself.” 

Before she can keep going, you straighten up the papers and close the folder. 

“I appreciate the advice, but I must be going now,” you lie through your teeth. What bullshit! What kind of doctors run this place? 

You actually hadn’t needed to be anywhere for another thirty minutes but if this conversation continued you wouldn’t be able to hold your tongue. Everyone can be saved. With compassion and kindness and help, no one was beyond redemption. Or too far gone for help. 

You storm out of the breakroom and wander. 

“I was hoping I’d see you again.” 

Tord grins at you as he’s escorted in. His hands are cuffed and before he can sit down, the guard pats him down. 

It makes your stomach churn but you keep your face kind. 

“It’s nice to see you too,” you greet. You watch cautiously as he sits down in the plush chair. The guard leaves the room. 

Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick.

It’s silent enough to hear the clock as the two of you study each other. He seems to drink you in, eyes wandering up and down, seeming to take in everything. You’d do the same if you weren’t a professional. 

“You used to dye your hair?” 

Tord raises an eyebrow. He tilts his head a little, eyes focused solely on you. It unnerves you almost as much as his file had. No patient of yours had ever stared at you so intensely in the past….

After a moment, he answers. “Yes. I fancied black quite a bit.” He gestures towards his roots. “It’s been a while since Bruce got me more dye. No one else will.” 

“I could look into it,” you clasp your hands, jumping into this opportunity. “I can’t promise anything, but I’ll talk to Doctor Marksman.” 

“And what do you want from me in return?”

“I’m sorry?” 

His gaze hardens. “What. do. You. want.” He grinds out, his body rigid in the chair. His hands were clenched.

Without thinking, puzzlement falls across your face. What did he mean? What did you want? For him to get better, obviously. 

“I want you to be at ease with your mental health,” you answer, still looking puzzled. “I don’t want anything else from this job but that. I’m not dangling hair dye in front of you in exchange. I want you to feel comfortable in your skin and at home here, Mr.Løvik.” 

Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. 

“Is that really what you want?” Tord asks, an emotion you can’t quite place in his voice. “To help me get better?” 

Whatever it may be, you smile at him. 

“Of course. I want nothing but to see you succeed and be happy here.” 

Things were easier after that first session. You always started off kindly, asking Tord how his day was going. If his favorite show or movie had aired on the television today.If his favorite food had been served that morning or afternoon. If he slept fine through the dreadful storm. 

(“I know I wasn’t,” you had laughed. “I tossed and turned, jumping at each sound all night.”

“I’m sure your boyfriend was quite displeased.”

“Oh,” you chuckle. “Well, no. I have a cat but no boyfriend. I was too busy getting my decree to ever really mingle like that. Though, my poor little man was also distraught at all the thunder last night. He yowled at my door until I let him into my room and he curled up on my bed. I’ll bring pictures next time.”) 

Too well for you and only you. Tord refused to talk to anyone but you. He would sit in silence or insult other doctors during his sessions. In one instance, he broke a new doctor’s nose. The poor guy had quit on the spot, cussing Tord and the whole place out as he was escorted to the medical section. 

You were tense the next few sessions but that violent man was nowhere to be found. He kept his cuffed hands right in front where you can see them at all times. He never lunged from you. In fact, barely ever moved in his chair. 

Tord was easygoing. Polite, charming, even. He took any medications he needed obediently and put up no fuss when you’d have him describe in later sessions how he was feeling and if he was feeling any negative side effects. 

He asked about your cat. About how your favorite show was going. If the movie you were looking forward to has come out yet. If your favorite restaurant down the street from your apartment was still closed for renovations. 

Eventually, enough time had passed that you relaxed. You stopped keeping your eyes trained on his hands. You stopped worrying yourself sick about his body language. You focused on his treatments and his mental health. 

If he was going to hurt me he would have done so by now, you thought to yourself after your latest session with Tord. He was doing so much better than he had been doing six months ago. It seemed as if you were really making a difference, helping him improve. 

It had been three months since he last fought another patient. Two months since he assaulted another doctor. And five months since he refused treatment of any kind. 

You step outside the building and take a deep breath. A dopey smile sticks to your face as you walk to your car. Becoming a doctor was the best choice you’ve ever made. Nothing was more rewarding than helping people. Not even this cloudy weather could bring you down. 

In fact, nothing tried to drag your mood down. There was no traffic on the way home. Some asshole hadn’t parked in your assigned parking spot again in the parking lot of your apartment. And your sweet cat hadn’t knocked his little box over again. 

You happily reheat your leftovers and watch tv for a while before you get ready for bed. Unfortunately, your mood does come crashing down. 

In the middle of the night, thunder wakes you. You jolt up, scrambling for your phone. Your hands come up empty. Shit, you think. I left it charging in the kitchen. Ugh. Oh well, you don’t need to look at your phone to see it is late and storming. 

Another loud sound booms through your apartment. Only this time, it sounds like a crash. 

“It’s just thunder,” you tell yourself. “Nothing to be afraid of.” You lay back down. Your eyes shut and you’re just about drifting to sleep when your door creeks open. 

You bolt up, knowing damn well that your cat can’t open doors and you freeze. 

Your heart races as your mind tries to process just who was in front of you. 

“Tord?” you whimper, hands shaking. But that can’t be. That was impossible. He was supposed to be sleeping soundly in his room with the soundproof headphones you got him. He didn’t like storms. The thunder reminded him too much of gunshots and made him restless. 

Useless information floods your brain. 

“I’m home, sweetheart,” he rasps. His grin is soft in the moonlight. He reaches over to flick on your bedroom light. 

He’s gentle he’s kind he’s sweet he’s-

He’s covered in blood.

Tord steps forward and you’re frozen in bed. His eyes are wild as they drink you in. There’s blood on his hands. In his hair. Splatters on his face. 

“Oh honey how I’ve dreamed of this,” he croons at the foot of your bed. “Your apartment is just as cute as you described.” 

[xxdark-obsessionxx]

I’m a big sucker for Psych Au fics. Reader is a cis female doctor who treats Tord with kindness. He becomes obsessed with her. Refuses to talk to any other doctor.

Tord is always on his best behavior for her which leads her to let her guard down.

BIG MISTAKE

I was supposed to be asleep five hours ago but I couldn’t until I finished this. Just know that in my heart, this takes place in Arkham. Also I'm super rusty so I apologize if anything feels off/wonky.

CW: Noncon

Dark themes ahead, please read at your own discretion and keep yourself safe. This is a work of fiction and I do not condone or support scenarios like this in real life

_____________________________________________

“You dropped this.” 

The man stares at you wide eyed as you hand him his lighter. He stands, rigid. You give him a gentle smile and press it into his palm, your other hand curling around the back of his hand. 

“I know there’s no fluid in it, so you don’t have to worry about me taking it,” you say to him. You pat his hand and step away.

The man turns fully towards you and you’re able to read the name sewed onto his shirt. 

“I-” the man- Tord- swallows hard. He quickly pockets the lighter. “Thank you.” 

You give him another smile and walk past him. He had seemed to be going the same way as you but he never caught up. Nor did you hear footsteps behind you. Once you reach the director’s office, he leaves your thoughts. You were absolutely determined to make a good first impression on your first day of the job. 

The man you met earlier had turned out to be your first patient. And oh boy, what a patient he was. Like you had promised yourself you weren’t going to judge any of these people but god damn. His file was thick. At least twenty papers were inside the manilla folder you had received from the head director’s office. Maybe even more. 

You’d never know if you kept standing outside the director’s office gawking at it. You take a deep breath. Going through it sitting down was probably a good idea. As you make your way to the breakroom, your grip on the folder is tight, trying your best to make sure you don’t drop it and reveal your patient's file. 

Thankfully, it doesn’t take you long to get to the breakroom. A few people were there but they paid you no mind. They sit, hunched over lunch or their own files. You sit and start to read. 

Løvik Tord

3 7 2 5 9

DOB: 1995

Age: 28

Hair: Dark brown with lighter brown roots

Eye: Silver

You end up skimming through this until you get to the bottom of the page. It wasn’t… pretty. 

CASE INFORMATION: 

Tord is a violent man. He is aggressive, manipulative, and has a short temper. Many doctors have tried working with him to no avail. He does not respond kindly to Dr.Casey (see page 5), Dr.Bonnie (see page 8), Dr.Roxy (see page 12), or Dr.Harley (see page 15). 

He is extremely aggressive towards Dr. Bruce (see page 20). 

You stop reading there, your chest feeling tight. You flip to page twenty. It’s not the last page like you had hoped. There were still…. Quite a bit in the file. 

Dr.Bruce has tried everything he can to help Tord. He has tried finding common ground with the patient. Has tried being lax and strict with Tord’s schedule. Has tried working with Tord and letting him sit outside. Tord had found every loophole and burned every bridge until Dr.Bruce stopped lenient treatments. Tord stabbed Dr.Bruce fifteen times before guards made their way into the room. 

It is unknown how and where he had gotten his hands on a sharp long blade. Tord was seen licking the blood of-

“Don’t worry if you can’t fix him. At this point, Doctor Markman hands his case off to fresh blood to showcase this place. No one expects you to be able to tame him.” 

You startle at the voice, goosebumps raised on your arms. “I’m sorry?” you ask with a polite smile. Anger clouded your fear. What the hell was this person talking about?

The doctor, Alice, her name tag reads, smiles at you. 

“Nearly everyone has tried working with him at this point,” she continues. “No one expects him to ever get better. He's here for murder, after all.” 

You give her a tight smile in return. “I’ll just have to see for myself.” 

Before she can keep going, you straighten up the papers and close the folder. 

“I appreciate the advice, but I must be going now,” you lie through your teeth. What bullshit! What kind of doctors run this place? 

You actually hadn’t needed to be anywhere for another thirty minutes but if this conversation continued you wouldn’t be able to hold your tongue. Everyone can be saved. With compassion and kindness and help, no one was beyond redemption. Or too far gone for help. 

You storm out of the breakroom and wander. 

“I was hoping I’d see you again.” 

Tord grins at you as he’s escorted in. His hands are cuffed and before he can sit down, the guard pats him down. 

It makes your stomach churn but you keep your face kind. 

“It’s nice to see you too,” you greet. You watch cautiously as he sits down in the plush chair. The guard leaves the room. 

Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick.

It’s silent enough to hear the clock as the two of you study each other. He seems to drink you in, eyes wandering up and down, seeming to take in everything. You’d do the same if you weren’t a professional. 

“You used to dye your hair?” 

Tord raises an eyebrow. He tilts his head a little, eyes focused solely on you. It unnerves you almost as much as his file had. No patient of yours had ever stared at you so intensely in the past….

After a moment, he answers. “Yes. I fancied black quite a bit.” He gestures towards his roots. “It’s been a while since Bruce got me more dye. No one else will.” 

“I could look into it,” you clasp your hands, jumping into this opportunity. “I can’t promise anything, but I’ll talk to Doctor Marksman.” 

“And what do you want from me in return?”

“I’m sorry?” 

His gaze hardens. “What. do. You. want.” He grinds out, his body rigid in the chair. His hands were clenched.

Without thinking, puzzlement falls across your face. What did he mean? What did you want? For him to get better, obviously. 

“I want you to be at ease with your mental health,” you answer, still looking puzzled. “I don’t want anything else from this job but that. I’m not dangling hair dye in front of you in exchange. I want you to feel comfortable in your skin and at home here, Mr.Løvik.” 

Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. 

“Is that really what you want?” Tord asks, an emotion you can’t quite place in his voice. “To help me get better?” 

Whatever it may be, you smile at him. 

“Of course. I want nothing but to see you succeed and be happy here.” 

Things were easier after that first session. You always started off kindly, asking Tord how his day was going. If his favorite show or movie had aired on the television today.If his favorite food had been served that morning or afternoon. If he slept fine through the dreadful storm. 

(“I know I wasn’t,” you had laughed. “I tossed and turned, jumping at each sound all night.”

“I’m sure your boyfriend was quite displeased.”

“Oh,” you chuckle. “Well, no. I have a cat but no boyfriend. I was too busy getting my decree to ever really mingle like that. Though, my poor little man was also distraught at all the thunder last night. He yowled at my door until I let him into my room and he curled up on my bed. I’ll bring pictures next time.”) 

Too well for you and only you. Tord refused to talk to anyone but you. He would sit in silence or insult other doctors during his sessions. In one instance, he broke a new doctor’s nose. The poor guy had quit on the spot, cussing Tord and the whole place out as he was escorted to the medical section. 

You were tense the next few sessions but that violent man was nowhere to be found. He kept his cuffed hands right in front where you can see them at all times. He never lunged from you. In fact, barely ever moved in his chair. 

Tord was easygoing. Polite, charming, even. He took any medications he needed obediently and put up no fuss when you’d have him describe in later sessions how he was feeling and if he was feeling any negative side effects. 

He asked about your cat. About how your favorite show was going. If the movie you were looking forward to has come out yet. If your favorite restaurant down the street from your apartment was still closed for renovations. 

Eventually, enough time had passed that you relaxed. You stopped keeping your eyes trained on his hands. You stopped worrying yourself sick about his body language. You focused on his treatments and his mental health. 

If he was going to hurt me he would have done so by now, you thought to yourself after your latest session with Tord. He was doing so much better than he had been doing six months ago. It seemed as if you were really making a difference, helping him improve. 

It had been three months since he last fought another patient. Two months since he assaulted another doctor. And five months since he refused treatment of any kind. 

You step outside the building and take a deep breath. A dopey smile sticks to your face as you walk to your car. Becoming a doctor was the best choice you’ve ever made. Nothing was more rewarding than helping people. Not even this cloudy weather could bring you down. 

In fact, nothing tried to drag your mood down. There was no traffic on the way home. Some asshole hadn’t parked in your assigned parking spot again in the parking lot of your apartment. And your sweet cat hadn’t knocked his little box over again. 

You happily reheat your leftovers and watch tv for a while before you get ready for bed. Unfortunately, your mood does come crashing down. 

In the middle of the night, thunder wakes you. You jolt up, scrambling for your phone. Your hands come up empty. Shit, you think. I left it charging in the kitchen. Ugh. Oh well, you don’t need to look at your phone to see it is late and storming. 

Another loud sound booms through your apartment. Only this time, it sounds like a crash. 

“It’s just thunder,” you tell yourself. “Nothing to be afraid of.” You lay back down. Your eyes shut and you’re just about drifting to sleep when your door creeks open. 

You bolt up, knowing damn well that your cat can’t open doors and you freeze. 

Your heart races as your mind tries to process just who was in front of you. 

“Tord?” you whimper, hands shaking. But that can’t be. That was impossible. He was supposed to be sleeping soundly in his room with the soundproof headphones you got him. He didn’t like storms. The thunder reminded him too much of gunshots and made him restless. 

Useless information floods your brain. 

“I’m home, sweetheart,” he rasps. His grin is soft in the moonlight. He reaches over to flick on your bedroom light. 

He’s gentle he’s kind he’s sweet he’s-

He’s covered in blood.

Tord steps forward and you’re frozen in bed. His eyes are wild as they drink you in. There’s blood on his hands. In his hair. Splatters on his face. 

“Oh honey how I’ve dreamed of this,” he croons at the foot of your bed. “Your apartment is just as cute as you described.” 

He grabs the edge of your blanket and pulls it off. His smile grows sappy. “You did go for the red pants like I suggested.” He giggles, staring between your legs. “I wonder if there’s a match beneath them.”

That snaps you out of your shocked stupor. You scramble off your bed, slamming your head hard against your nightstand as you try to avoid Tord’s lunging grasp. 

You lay fetal on the floor, tears in your eyes as you clutch your head. “Fuck,” you hiss.

Tord clicks his tongue. He slowly climbs off your bed, crouching next to you. “My poor clumsy sweetheart.” 

You feel his hands in your hair. 

“What do you want?” you gasp. Fear and pain mix as you start to cry into your carpet. 

His hands stroke your hair. 

“You.” 

With that, you’re powerless to stop him as he scoops you up into his arms. You thrash as he dumps you back onto your bed, pinning you down. 

“I know you're scared but it’s ok. I’ll be gentle, my love. So gentle.”

Your mind can’t wrap your head around what’s happening. Tord isn’t supposed to be tying your wrists to your headboard. He isn’t supposed to be kissing your neck and grinding his hard arousal between your legs. He isn’t supposed to be in your home. 

“Such a good girl, staying still for me,” Tord says softly as he pulls back. He slides your pants down. Disappoint clouds his eyes when he sees your panties aren’t red but it’s deepened when he pulls those down and you’re barely wet.

“It’s ok sweets. I’ll figure out what gets you going. There’s nothing to be ashamed of in needing help.” 

Anger wells in your chest as Tord fishes for something in one of his pockets. How dare he. How dare he parrot your own advice back at you. As if this was a simple therapy session. As if you were the patient and he was the doctor wanting to help. 

“Get off me!” you snarl. “You know this isn’t right Tord. Y-you’re sick! You need help!” 

Tord stops what he’s doing to stare dead eyed at you. He plucks a clean rag off your nightstand and stuffs it into your mouth. 

“Enough of that,” he scolds. “You need this as much as I do. In fact, doctors orders.” 

He grins at his own twisted joke. He fishes through his pockets again and pulls out a small bottle of lube. “Yes, just what my love needs. A good thorough fuck.” 

You desperately try to spit the rag out but your mouth is too dry. You twist and tug your wrists but to no avail. This was happening. Your gentle, sweet patient was going to take your virginity. 

Tord carefully squirts lube onto his fingers, rubbing them together. He parts your folds, humming appreciatively as he rubs your clit. 

“That’s it, my good girl. Get nice and wet for me.” 

You feel sick. Against your will, his crooning and his touches stir up arousal inside you. You close your eyes as he gently fingers you as if he was searching for something. 

A minute later, your eyes fly open as he jabs something horrible. Your pussy grows slick from it, pleasure building in your lower stomach. 

“There it is.”

You shake your head violently. Not there, you try to plead with your eyes. Anywhere but there! 

But Tord merely smiles at you and ruthlessly abuses that spot. Over and over his fingers jab and curl,  rubbing it. You squeeze your eyes tight, small moans making their way out of your throat as pleasure jolts through you.. His thumb strokes your clit and you cum embarrassedly fast. You stare at the ceiling and wish you hadn’t wanted to cum at all. 

“Good girl,” Tord praises. He pulls his fingers out, eying them appreciatively. He sticks them in his mouth and sucks, moaning. “So sweet. But I’m too impatient to try it from the source. You’ll have to forgive me, my love.” 

Panic jolts up your spine as you feel his tip pressing against your entrance. You try to climb up your bed rest but you only achieve getting a little higher up on your pillows. Tord sighs and presses forward. 

“It’ll hurt for a moment but I promise this will feel good,” Tord tries to soothe. He picks up the lube and squeezes more into his palm and strokes himself. 

You hate him. You hate him with all your heart. 

He pushed forward and once again, you squeezed your eyes tight. His hand roughly grabs your throat. 

“Eyes on me,” he snaps. “I want to see how good I make you feel.” 

The fear overturns the pain and you quickly open your eyes. He pushes further in, reaching down to run your clit. 

Tord rocks his hips a little, eyes starstruck as he stares down at you. “You’re getting wetter,” he mumbles to himself. A grin spreads across his face. 

His hips snap forward, setting a firm pace. He stops rubbing your clit to grab under your thighs. He lifts them up and pushes until they’re almost touching your breasts. 

He thrusts harder and- 

You squeal, bucking your hips as he hits that horrible spot. You can’t stop bucking your hips, jolts of pleasure stabbing your stomach and stars in your eyes. 

Tord pressed closer to you, caging you in. He holds your gaze intensely, panting a little. His eyes dart between your face and your bouncing tits. 

Like earlier, you cum fast. This one hits you harder. And Tord doesn’t stop. 

You cum again and he pulls out. “Move and I’ll beat your ass with a belt,” he growls. He pulls out a switchblade and cuts the rope off your headboard. He’s quick to tie your wrists together. 

You find yourself on your stomach, ass up. Tord firmly holds your hips. He enters again, pressing down against you. Caging you against the mattress as he pounds into your pussy hard. By the time you’re cumming again, he finally cums with you. 

You’re crying by this point. Overstimulation has you cringing, your pussy tingling as he pulls out. Once again, you start to panic. Tord had come inside you. You thrash underneath him. 

“Stop that,” he hisses, slapping your ass hard. You cry harder as he does it another three times. And another, until you finally go still. 

You hear Tord sigh harshly. “I need to be patient with you,” he mumbles to himself. He gets off of you and you hear him leave the room. 

He’s back within minutes, holding a wet hand towel. You’re gently turned over onto your back and he softly cleans you up. You can’t look at him. 

“Mrrow.” 

Your heart jolts. Your cat jumps onto the bed, purring as Tord pets him with his clean hand. Traitor. 

“You rest while I pack,” Tord says softly. He leans down to press a kiss on your forehead. “I’ll grab everything you need and love for our new home.” 

He climbs off the bed and leaves the room again. He comes back with duffel bags. Your cat paddles up to you and curls up next to you. He purrs hard as you sob your eyes out.

[infiniteglitterfall]

here, have some Official-Looking Info on Autistic Burnout

“Having All of Your Internal Resources Exhausted Beyond Measure and Being Left with No Clean-Up Crew”: Defining Autistic Burnout

Although autistic adults often discuss experiencing 'autistic burnout,' and attribute serious negative outcomes to it, the concept is almost completely absent from the academic and clinical literature. Lay summary Why was this study done? Autistic burnout is talked about a lot by autistic people but has not been formally addressed by researchers. It is an important issue for the autistic community because it is described as leading to distress; loss of work, school, health, and quality of life; and even suicidal behavior.

This is one of those "WE ALL KNEW THAT" studies, where they have to study and write about Things We Already Know in order to make them part of the Official Body of Knowledge out there, and maybe even get useful research done on them.

I went digging on Google Scholar because I want to be able to send my smol child's summer day camp director something that actually explains why he's only shown up two days in the past two weeks.

I would kind of rather have something in the form of a cute handout, but I didn't think of that before I hit Google Scholar. (Also, the first thing I found in a regular Google search was kind of basic and kind of confusing; it seemed to be referring to shutdown, but was calling it burnout.)

What were the results of the study? The primary characteristics of autistic burnout were chronic exhaustion, loss of skills, and reduced tolerance to stimulus. Participants described burnout as happening because of life stressors that added to the cumulative load they experienced, and barriers to support that created an inability to obtain relief from the load. These pressures caused expectations to outweigh abilities resulting in autistic burnout. From this we created a definition:

Autistic burnout is a syndrome conceptualized as resulting from chronic life stress and a mismatch of expectations and abilities without adequate supports. It is characterized by pervasive, long-term (typically 3+ months) exhaustion, loss of function, and reduced tolerance to stimulus.

Participants described negative impacts on their lives, including health, capacity for independent living, and quality of life, including suicidal behavior. They also discussed a lack of empathy from neurotypical people. People had ideas for recovering from autistic burnout, including acceptance and social support, time off/reduced expectations, and doing things in an autistic way/unmasking.

Oh, wow, this is a good burn:

...mental health treatment/therapy as a means of remediating burnout came up, but in the context of a missing resource, a negative experience, or unrelated to burnout (e.g., for treating a co-occurring mental health condition).

Yeah. That tracks.

[lauraryuguji]

Enzo Vogrincic x Reader.

There you were, sitting elegantly next to Enzo at one of the many premieres that the new series generated. Your fingers trembled momentarily with the new anxiety, but it became something normal.

"Oh, a question for Enzo now." The woman said smiling as she opened a small piece of paper. "In principle, you and our guest of honor would never have played a romance in this series, but what does that mean?"

Enzo smiled before looking at you embarrassed and answering calmly. "Well, I didn't like her at all... I mean, it was a bit of jealousy since we shared a particular friend and suddenly she and he did everything together."

The presenter nods as she lets out a sincere smile.

"But our director came in one day and said that the show needed this spark of chemistry that we had. I was like, really? I hate that girl."

You laugh embarrassedly before covering your face with your hands, Enzo slipping his arm over her whispering some apology.

"But we'll get through this, my tantrum can't last long."He massages her back.

"That's magnificent, a real enemies to lovers." The presenter says gently. "The next question is for you."

You nod; everyone admired how you could be so discreet off camera and so expressive on stage.

"Did you know about this hatred of Enzo?" She asks.

"Actually, there's a scene where he says he hated me... and that scene wasn't in the script." You smile. "Coupled with his treatment, I might have had an idea."

"Let me defend myself." He laughs, raising his hands in surrender. "It was only a three-week hatred."

"But after that, Enzo became a very dear friend." You smile again, but notice how he looks at you differently.

The presenter finishes, you and Enzo wave to the camera before being released and heading to the dressing room. It was a short walk, but the air seemed thicker. Enzo throws himself down on the sofa and takes off the microphone, you remain standing, untangling yourself from the wires.

"What's wrong?" you ask him, and he doesn't even make a point of looking at you, turning his head the other way.

"I don't like the way the phrase 'Enzo dear friend' sounds." Enzo puts his feet up on the table.

"What did you want me to say?" his voice is always so soft.

"I don't know, maybe that I'm not your friend? That I'm more than your friend and less than a boyfriend?" he groans, staring at the ceiling."You know that's stupid, you're being immature." She shakes her head.

"Yes, I'm an immature shit for loving someone who doesn't have the guts to tell me they're with me." His words are like knives, and you're his target.

"Don't say that." The soft voice murmurs.

"It's not the truth?" For the first time he looks at her. His eyes are filled with confusion, heat, pleading.

"You know it's not." She looks at him. "Just stop and think about what you're saying."

"It's what I've been thinking for a long time." He stands up abruptly.

He waits for her to say something, he mentally begs her to tell him he's wrong, he begs her not to let him say those things. But she doesn't, she stares at the floor and doesn't even move when he walks past her and closes the door with a loud bang.

[thatsmzbitchtoyou]

Pretty P.A. Chapter 3

Summary: Y/N has been the personal assistant to the most influential and famous fashion modeling agency director in the industry for the past 13 years.  They’ve decided to retire, and are leaving the agency in the hands of their protege and former model, Bucky Barnes.  He seems plenty qualified, and Y/N is excited for a chance to work with him.  Change always takes time,  but the new insanely hot boss is distrustful and hesitant towards her.  **curvy reader** **Y/N/N = Your nickname ** Warnings: mentions of sexual assault (not from Bucky), some violence, blood, smut

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Another successful fashion week was under Olympus’ belt.  Each of their models had been booked for multiple fashion houses, and they had been able to scout more models and make an impact at the parties and shows.  Bucky and Y/N had been able to become closer on a more personal level, and he felt the reverence that Tony had described and talked about her with was well deserved as she made his entire life easier.  Y/N was enjoying working for Bucky.  They had a teasing but friendly relationship, where she supported him in whatever it was he was doing and felt at ease in giving him advice to help make his ideas better.  She was very attracted to him, and at times she thought maybe she caught him giving her long looks or side glances with a heated gaze, but she squashed those feelings just as quickly.  

Y/N was generally a self-assured person.  She was the curviest in the entire office, and also shorter than the tall models around her.  She dressed well, having her own personal style while also looking professional that helped her make the fashion connections needed for her job and make friendships with people in the industry.  Being surrounded by some of the most beautiful and slender people in the world at times shook her confidence, but she had never been made to feel bad about herself by any of them.  A part of her felt like Bucky could have the pick of the litter when it came to dating, so why would he pick her?  

The fallout from the email Y/N had sent out to the fashion industry gained national coverage, and Brock Rumlow was currently being investigated and sued by multiple people.  Alexander Pierce had no choice but to close Hydra Modeling and lost millions of dollars in the process.  His models were quickly picked up by other agencies, but their stories of mistreatment and the toxic work environment they had dealt with spread quickly in the community.  Bucky had a lot more media attention when it came to the lawsuits and his experience with Rumlow, and Y/N helped him handle the stress and overwhelm that came with that.  He knew it would be good for the agency to be a face to the voice of the models who had been assaulted, and felt a lot of responsibility for it as well.

Y/N was accompanying Bucky to a lunch meeting to meet with a potential new designer that was looking for models.  She arrived at lunch before him and the designer and decided to sit at their table and wait for them.  As she got herself settled with her notebook, typing away on her phone, someone sat in front of her.

“I’m sorry that seat is saved for–” Y/N began but then froze as she looked up.  Brock Rumlow sat in front of her, leaning against the table and giving her a murderous glare.  Her eyes widened momentarily but her face quickly turned into a scowl.  “Oh lovely.  The devil has arrived,” she sneered as she continued typing and swiping on her phone.

Brock snorted.  “Be grateful we’re in public, bitch, or I’d really give you the devil’s treatment.”

“Is that a threat, Mr. Rumlow?” Y/N sighed, decidedly bored with the conversation.

“A promise, Miss Y/L/N,” he grumbled.  “I hope you enjoy this high life while you still can.”  His face twisted into an ugly smirk.  “Have you had a chance to try out your boss’ dick yet?”  Y/N looked up at him, her own glare reflecting back at him.  “Everyone knows how well you took care of Tony all those years.”  Y/N rolled her eyes.  “Does dearest Bucky get it, too? He does have such a pretty cock,” Brock said lowly, a wicked smile curling his lips.

Y/N set her phone down and leaned against the table and hummed.  “I’m surprised you're even here Brock.  How long do you have until the cops come after setting off your ankle monitor?” Her eyebrows raised.  “They don’t take kindly to defendants breaking house arrest.  Especially sex offenders.  How old was that teen model…16?”  She leaned forward and whispered to him.  “I usually don’t wish ill on others, but I hope and pray that once the trial is over and you’re found guilty and sent to prison, that those inmates have a lot of fun with you and your tiny cock.”

Brock scoffed.  “You petty cunt.”

“How original,” Y/N scoffed back.  She grabbed her things and stood to leave, then Brock reached out and grabbed her wrist, twisting it hard and making her yelp in pain.

“You took everything from me–” he said, until suddenly his head was bashed against the table from behind.  Rumlow grunted and released Y/N’s arm and she gasped, stepping back a few paces.  She looked up to see Bucky holding Rumlow’s head down.  A pool of blood started to flow where Rumlow’s face was being smashed into the tablecloth.  The loud bang caught the attention of the people around them.

Bucky’s face was stony as he leaned down slowly to Rumlow’s face, his mouth near his ear, his eyes blazing under his furrowed brow.  “Touch my assistant again, and I’ll end you,” Bucky snarled.  He pushed Rumlow’s head once again for good measure then stood straight.  Rumlow groaned as he slowly pulled himself up looking dazed, his nose clearly broken.  Sirens blared outside as Bucky rounded the table to Y/N, his face softening as he looked at her.  “Are you okay?” he asked quietly, reaching out for the wrist that Rumlow twisted.  He held it up and inspected it, his jaw clenching when the bruise from Rumlow’s fingerprints was already forming.

“I’m fine,” Y/N said, her voice sounding small.  She stared up at him in shock, her mind not quite comprehending what just happened.

Bucky watched her for a moment before focusing back on her wrist.  He thumbed it gently just as the police and an ambulance arrived.  “I’d feel better if you got checked out by the paramedics,” he said with no room for argument.

Y/N blindly nodded as she was approached by an officer and a paramedic.  After a lot of talking and explaining, Bucky and Y/N were free to go and her wrist was bandaged.  Thankfully it was just sprained.  Rumlow was carted off in the ambulance with a police escort.  The meeting with the designer was delayed and Bucky quickly took Y/N back to the office.  Word had spread quickly amongst the other employees and models about what had happened, many of them coming to talk to Y/N and others texting and calling.  Bucky shooed everyone away and brought her to his office, shutting the door behind them.  Y/N stood by his desk as he walked back up to her.

“Y/N?” he asked.  She didn’t move.  She was still in shock, her face looking numb and her body moving stiffly.  “Hey,” Bucky rounded her to stand in front of her.  He leaned down to her eye level, trying to catch her attention.  Her eyes were unfocused, almost looking dead, and it scared him.  “Come on, babes, come back to me,” Bucky sighed.  His hands came up and cupped her face, his thumbs caressing her cheekbones.  

After a minute or two of him just holding her face her eyes fluttered shut, then she opened them again, looking startled at having him so close.  “Bucky?”

“Hey you,” he smiled.  “Welcome back.”  Y/N looked at him confusedly.  “You’re in shock, babes.  And I don’t blame you.  Just take your time.  Come back to me.”  Y/N gasped at remembering what had happened earlier, her hands flying up to grip Bucky’s wrists.  “It’s okay,” he leaned forward, resting his forehead against hers.  “It’s okay.  You’re okay.  I’m right here, just breathe,” he said, then started breathing through his nose deeply then out through his mouth.  Y/N copied him, staring into his big blue eyes, trying to regain her composure as the whole ordeal replayed in her mind over and over again.  

“Thank you, Bucky,” she breathed.  “I’ve never had someone…threaten me and lash out at me like that before.  I just didn’t know…” she swallowed harshly.  Her hands released his wrists and she reached out to clutch at his shirt.  Bucky let go of her face and stepped back to lean against his desk so they would be closer to the same height.  He pulled her forward between his legs and hugged her and she desperately hugged him back.  His hands rubbed up and down her back as she tucked her face into his neck.

“I’ve got you,” he murmured.  “I’m so sorry I wasn’t there earlier.”

Y/N let him hold her for a long time.  She secretly reveled in the feeling of his body against hers, his strong arms and big hands comforting her.  She subtly breathed him in, his cologne and the smell of something so completely him causing a small shiver up her back.  She had been fighting some strong feelings towards him for a while now.  She didn’t want to be one of those assistants who sleeps with their boss.  It had never happened with Tony.  He was more like a father figure to her, and she had never felt anything romantic towards him.  Bucky was attractive, kind, efficient, fiercely loyal and passionate.  They technically wouldn’t get in any trouble if they did sleep together or have a relationship, but she was still hesitant.  She finally started to pull away from him.  

“I’m okay.  I’ll be fine,” she straightened up and stepped away from him.  “Thank you for helping me.  I uh…” she tried to think of a way to escape.  “I’ll call Cecilia and reschedule for another time.”  She nodded and gave him a tight lipped smile before turning to leave.

“Hey, woah,” Bucky stood.  “I think you should go home, Y/N.  Today was traumatic enough.”

“I’m fine, Bucky.  I’d like to focus on something else rather than sitting at home,” she waved him off and took another step toward the door.

“Y/N, go home and rest.  I can handle rescheduling a meeting,” he instructed, a frown on his face as he took another step toward her.

“No thank you,” she parried, reaching for the door handle.

“Y/N,” Bucky reached out and grabbed her hand.  He stepped toward her, making her back up into the wall behind her.  Y/N stared up at him, her eyes wide as he cornered her.  Bucky seemed just as surprised to be in this situation, looking down at her, just inches away from her face.  His eyes roamed her face, blinking rapidly as her breathing became heavy again.  Y/N didn’t dare move, afraid of what her reaction would be if she did.  They stayed like that for a minute, then Bucky’s eyes settled on her lips.  He slowly leaned forward til his nose softly bumped into her nose, angling his head like he was about to…

Y/N’s eyelids fluttered again as the desire within her felt like it was thrumming through her body, and her eyes flitted back and forth from his eyes to his lips.  Bucky leaned forward a little more and lifted her injured arm that he was holding.  He moved towards her mouth, then at the last second swerved to kiss her cheek by the side of her lips.  He brought the hand up and then moved his lips to her injured wrist, kissing it multiple times as he twisted it to reach around her arm.  He pulled away just slightly, his hand holding hers dropping, barely holding her fingers and shutting his eyes tight.

“Go home, babes,” he whispered.  

Y/N’s eyebrows furrowed and she looked at him incredulously.  She scoffed then ducked around him and opened the door, shutting it behind her hard.  She gathered her things and left the building, her cheek still burning from the feeling of his lips on her skin.

[asuyaka]

I saw that you write for BSD, so can I request a Dazai x Male Reader(could be gn too, I'm fine with whatever) where the reader is also a detective from ADA and they are bloody rich and they love giving Dazai the royal treatment? I'm talking about carrying his stuff for him, buying whatever he wants without even needing to ask for it, paying for literally everything, making him snacks that they know he will like, opening doors for him, letting him walk on the safer side of the street, giving him flowers, playing with his hair, changing his bandages for him, carrying him around when he doesn't want to use his legs, showering him with kisses and compliments, praising him for his work and constantly expressing how proud they are of him, the whole nine yards.

I just want that man to get some good pampering, heaven knows he needs it.

★ - aaaa!!! 'm sooo glad 'm gettin BSD reqs!! >_< dazai isn't really 'm cup of tea, but 'm think he's okay ! (≧∇≦)ﾉ

☆ - Dazai Osamu x GN! Reader — Can be read as Male reader!

♡ - It's 'm first time tryin' ta write kissin' scenes 'n stuff so please tell me if it's good! Constructive criticism is heavily 'ppreciated! ( •̀ ω •́ )y

It's not an understatement to say you're wealthy. You've worked hard to get where you are now, been through your fair share of trauma to finally live a somewhat stable life in the ADA.

Someone as wealthy as you with no family members to spoil should have someone to make feel worthy, right?

You do. Your best friend, and somehow boyfriend, Dazai Osamu, and his ever-so-concerning suicidal tendencies.

You love him more than anything, as cheesy as that may sound. And you spoil him to make sure he knows that too. Sure, Kunikida may call it a waste of money, but what will you do with it? You're happy in your quaint little ADA-issued dorm room, and sure people might berate you for not buying a million-dollar mansion but that's a waste of money.

You might be millions upon millions of yen wealthy, but you're humble with it.

Not with your spending on Dazai but... he's your boyfriend, who cares?

You walk into the main ADA office with a bright smile on your face. Not that your expression is visible, there's a massive array of flowers covering it.

"[Name] is doing it again," Yosano says as she rolls her eyes. She was the one who with her expert wingman skills, brought you and Dazai together and you'll always be greatful for that.

You wave at Atsushi who was always front and center at you and Dazai's 'gross lovey-dovey actions' as Tanizaki says.

Atsushi gets up, knocking on the Director's door. "Dazai-san, [Name]-san is here for you."

You shift the bouquet from your center to your left side, hiding an array of gifts in the bag you bought as well.

Dazai walks out of the Director's office, hands in his pockets as he pats Atsushi's head. "Alright, what is it this—" His eyes widen when they meet yours.

This isn't the first time you've given Dazai gifts that were obviously expensive. There was a time when you gave him a car and quickly learned how horrible of a driver he was so you weren't making that mistake ever again.

"All of this is for... me?" Dazai points at himself exasperatedly, his eyes wandering around your frame. The bouquet was almost twice your size, full to the brim with pink flowers— flowers he could easily recognize.

They were Camelllias. Flowers that meant love.

"Come, come! There's more for you." You beamed, putting the flowers down and handing him the bag.

Naomi was curious about what was in it the second you walked past the reception, Kenji, was just a naturally curious person.

Dazai pulls out a sharkitty plush. There were two of them, one in black and another in grey. "Oh, they're matching! I thought they looked cute so—"

"They're amazing— you're amazing." Dazai breathes out, a soft tint of red on his face.

Ranpo makes an overexaggerated gagging noise, leaning back against his chair with a lollipop in his mouth.

"I can easily stop supplying you with candy."

Ranpo takes that as an easy warning, immediately going back to doing his work.

"I have a date reserved for us if you aren't busy?" Your voice comes out sheepishly as if it's your first time asking Dazai out. In front of his co-workers it is, but with the amount of PDA you two do, asking him out shouldn't be this embarrassing.

"Crabs?"

"Who do you think I am? Of course, they have crabs."

Dazai smiles, grabbing the bouquet and letting you lead the way. You two begin walking, bidding farewell to your co-workers as you speed up a bit, opening the door for him.

"Ughh— just get out already! No one wants to see you two fawn over each other!" Ranpo yells from his chair. You hear Dazai laugh as he waves one final goodbye, glad he doesn't have to do anymore work, and glad he gets to spend time with you— his partner.

You close the door shut, grabbing the stuff from Dazai's arms so he doesn't have to carry anything. He pressed a kiss on your cheek. He loves you, so so much.

"You didn't have to spend so much on me, you know?" He says softly as he stuffs his hands in his pockets again.

"I don't care about my spending when they come to you, Dazai. I've told you this before, anything you want I'll get it for you. You're my boyfriend, and I love you. What more of a reason do I need?"

Dazai's cheeks burn bright. He's never been the one on the receiving end of flirting, but that all changed when he met you.

He's never felt love, romantic at least, until you came into his life.

He wishes you met Odasaku, you two would've gotten along. "I-I know, you're just—"

"Amazing? Perfect? Stunning? Ooo, maybe you're gonna call me beautiful!" You fill in for him, a cheeky grin on your face as you open the car door for him.

You put your gifts in the backseat, settling in the driver's seat with an adorning smile on your face. "Reward your doting partner with a kiss?"

Dazai rolls his eyes but brings his bandaged hand to your cheek. Your lips meet his in the middle and your hand rests atop his. The kiss was slow, your lips pressed against his like they were made for each other— like you two were made for each other.

You break the kiss in a pant, looking at Dazai with nothing short of fondness in your eyes. "You're great, you're so amazing Dazai."

"Shut up and kiss me."

You comply, now leaning over him as your lips press together, your teeth clacked against his. Dazai's tongue twirled with yours, pressing against the roof of your mouth, his hands settling on your hips as a groan left his mouth, your knee resting in the middle of his legs.

"HAVE SOME DECENCY YOU TWO!"

The two of you separated, looking at the voice with short breaths. Kunikida was standing in front of your windshield, an exasperated look on his face.

You wave an apology, fixing yourself up and sitting back in the driver's spot.

"You okay?" You ask quietly, you and Dazai's hand still intertwined.

"Dinner, right?"

You nod, pressing a final kiss on his cheek as you buckle him and then yourself. "I love you."

Dazai smiles, grabbing the black sharkitty plush from the back, and leaving it in his lap. "I have a crush on you." He says bluntly, his hands scratching the fur on the plushie's body.

You roll your eyes at Dazai's odd way of saying he loves you, but that's just how he is, and you couldn't have him any other way.

[esamastation]

Shizuroth, part twenty-one

Previous parts: one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, sixteen, seventeen, eighteen, nineteen, twenty

-

For the first time in what feels like a lifetime, Sephiroth sends out a text message.

After an evening and night spent meditating, reading and cultivating, figuring out the ins and outs of his hardened meridian system and going through the files Genesis had had delivered to him, Sephiroth's come to the conclusion that meditation isn't enough. He needs to condition his body properly, and that means forms, that means movements - that means he really misses easy access to all the collected cultivation manuals of Qing Jing Peak's impressive libraries.

Ultimately what it really means is that he needs more space than his single room apartment has.

"If we're banned from the training room, where can I go train?"

"Goddess beyond, Sephiroth, it's supposed to be your day off," Genesis replies and then, soon after, "Just go to the training room. Who could stop you?"

He's really not sure about training in front of people. "Is that really the only option?"

"Well, you could do what you always do and just take a mission."

Mission, like the dozen or so on his phone involving Wutai? Which had a lot of kill everyone and exterminate the opposition and leave no one alive!?

Yeah, okay. Training room it is, then!

After carefully selecting an outfit that would look reasonably in character for the future Big Bad while also being a bit more comfortable than three different things of leather. And he still pulls on the, now slightly better fitting, leather coat with its huge shoulder guards, too! He should look… more or less in character.

People still stare as he makes his way through floor 49, other SOLDIERs in their much more comfortable looking uniforms and not so comfortable looking helmets. There's a handful of them hanging around, sitting by the window or chatting, SOLDIER Seconds and Thirds waiting for assignments. There are some people in lab coats hanging around there too, just as a reminder of the true nature of the program.

Sephiroth had read about that too - everything Genesis had sent him about SOLDIER and the things he is supposed to already know. 

SOLDIER, as much as they are the elite warriors of Shinra, their OP human weapons in the war to conquer the planet… are also lab rats. They'd all signed up on it in order to get those enhancements, and now Shinra's Science Department can do… just about whatever they want with them!

They're constantly being tested for performance and given experimental training, treatments and gear to test out. Almost all Materia and medicine Shinra produces goes through SOLDIER field testing before going into mass production. Because it's better that it's a SOLDIER dealing with the fallout if the Materia blows up in his face or the medicine makes him projectile vomit. They can handle it!

Ah, corporate dystopia with minimal human rights. Fun stuff.

Sephiroth walks past them all, barely acknowledging them, and aims for the training room. Which… really seems more like a testing ground, now that there's actual personnel there.

There's no one in the training room itself - but there are two technicians in the observatory adjacent.

"S-Sephiroth!" a lab technician stutters as he enters  - the only way into the training room goes through the observatory, past all the monitoring equipment and computers. "What can we do for you?"

"I want to train," Sephiroth says in his best villain drawl, motioning to the training room with Masamune.

"Ah, that's - director Deusericus told us -"

Sephiroth narrows his eyes. "Oh, so I can't?"

The second lab tech elbows the first out of the way. "Of course you can, of course! Professor Hojo would be thrilled to have your training data," he assures, though the words are clearly aimed, very pointedly, at the other tech. "What kind of program settings would you like? We have a selection of new enemy AI and different environments - including numerous Wutai-inspired sequences!"

Sephiroth hesitates. That… could be interesting, actually. "Something from Wutai, with buildings - no enemies." That might give him a sense of what Wutai was like, culture-wise.

"... How are you going to train without enemies?"

Do SOLDIER not do forms? "Hmph," Sephiroth answers and turns to the training room, waving the electronic sliding door open. "Just start the simulation."

Seems like he got his villainous demanding attitude right, because they do. Seems like short and to the point is really the best way to hide a supposed amnesia!

Soon Sephiroth finds himself standing in a courtyard of what looks vaguely like some noble family's estate, feeling strangely like he's in a dream where everything is just a little bit off.

The simulation is… well, it kind of feels like a weird amusement park version of Asia, a mix of Japanese and Chinese aesthetics. The buildings have Japanese architecture for the most part, with bare unpainted wood and stone - but the roofs are all elaborate hip roofs. The written language, what little he can see of it, is in Mandarin, but the calligraphy style is very Japanese, very lyrical and artistic but without much form.

There's no bamboo in sight. Shame.

But at least the false environment makes it feel a little less like he's being watched - though he can still tell he is. Even with Sephiroth's burnt spiritual veins, he has pretty good senses.

Well, it's not like he hasn't trained with an audience before.

Unsheathing Masamune, Sephiroth holds the sheath in his off hand and takes a pose, breathing deeply in and concentrating. He still can't quite circulate his Qi, but he can sort it… flash it through himself in pulses, which lights up his meridian system and brings out the faults and snags therein.

Sephiroth is strong, hardy, seemingly endlessly durable. He's also fast, his overactive muscles easily going past the limitations of your usual normal human conditions. The issue is not quite his overall flexibility - but his… suppleness, maybe?

You need your veins to flex and contract for healthy circulation, and that's the same with energy. Thanks to the Mako treatments and the emphasis on stamina and strength, Sephiroth's whole system is just… hard. Every part of him is hardened to endure who knows what, and it gives his meridian system very little give. 

So that's what his form needs to focus on, increasing his meridian system's pliancy.  

All the while wondering if all SOLDIERs were working with these kinds of toughened meridians, Sephiroth pulses his energy and begins to move. Qing Jing Peak sword forms work well enough for him, it turns out - as spiritual cultivators, they also have to maintain certain spiritual flexibility, after all. He needs to adjust the forms to the sword he has, but that's not too difficult. A lot of spiritual swordsmen use sword glares to extend the shape and size of their cutting edge, so the forms already have some wiggle room.

Soon Sephiroth has a set of moves that work the best, making his pulses of energy work better and better, until his whole meridian system buzzes, active and alive. He can even feel the beginnings of activity in his frankly neglected dantians, as energy wooshes through him in waves. It feels… pretty great.

What he doesn't know is that on the outside it looks rather like Sephiroth just activated a Limit Break - by will alone.

-

Someone making waves, hehe

[bumblee-stumblee]

NHS England to stop prescribing puberty blockers

10 hours ago

By Josh Parry,

LGBT & Identity Producer

Children will no longer routinely be prescribed puberty blockers at gender identity clinics, NHS England has confirmed.

The decision comes after a review found there was "not enough evidence" they are safe or effective.

Puberty blockers, which pause the physical changes of puberty, will now only be available as part of research.

It comes weeks before an independent review into gender identity services in England is due to be published.

An interim report from the review, published in 2022 by Dr Hilary Cass, had earlier found there were "gaps in evidence" around the drugs and called for a transformation in the model of care for children with gender-related distress.

Dr Cass's review follows a sharp rise in referrals to the Gender Identity Development Service (Gids), run by the Tavistock and Portman NHS Foundation Trust, which saw an increase from 250 per year to over 5,000 in 2022.

Puberty supressing hormones - more commonly known as puberty blockers - work by suppressing the release of hormones that cause puberty and are often prescribed to children questioning their gender as a way of stopping physical changes such as breast development or facial hair.

Fewer than 100 young people in England are currently prescribed puberty blockers by the NHS. They will all able to continue their treatment.

NHS England held a public consultation on their usage and last year introduced an interim policy which stated they should only be given as part of research trials or in "exceptional circumstances".

The BBC understands that the new policy, confirmed on Tuesday, will not allow them to be prescribed "routinely" outside of a research trial, but that individual clinicians can still apply to have the drugs funded for patients on a case-by-case basis.

Gids is due to close at the end of March. Two new NHS services due in London and Liverpool are set to open at the beginning of April, followed by a number of regional specialist centres over the next two years.

Health Minister Maria Caulfield said: "We have always been clear that children's safety and wellbeing is paramount, so we welcome this landmark decision by the NHS.

"Ending the routine prescription of puberty blockers will help ensure that care is based on evidence, expert clinical opinion and is in the best interests of the child."

The consultation on the future of gender services received more than 4,000 responses, including 10% from trans adults and 5% from clinicians.

John Stewart, national director of specialised commissioning at NHS England, said: "Given that the debate is often very polarised, so too were the responses to the consultation.

"Many people said the policy didn't go far enough in terms of still allowing potential access [to puberty blockers] through research, and others saying clearly they disagreed fundamentally and that these should be routinely available to everyone who believes they need it."

The BBC understands NHS England aims to begin its study into the use of puberty blockers by December 2024, and is yet to decide who can take part

---

Oh hey, will you look at that.

[steddieas-shegoes]

For the requests: traumatized steve & eddie going to a wolf sanctuary and eddie watching steve basically live with the wolves in their area. And the one wolf,the one that hated everyone, the one who meaner and didn't get along with anyone to its cruel abusive situation (perhaps it was raised from puppyhood and onwards by people who used it in dogfighting, before it was rescued, that wolf, goes right up to Steve and sits by him. Giving him comfort. When Steve has bad nightmares he goes to that wolf's pen and they sleep cuddled together bc that wolf also has nightmares. (It can also be a wolfdog)

AS ALWAYS YOU COME THROUGH WITH SOMETHING FUN AND CREATIVE AND AS ALWAYS I MAKE IT EMOTIONAL AS SHIT!!! I was feelin' some type of way yesterday and started on this at peak emotional upheaval, which is really something I don't recommend. As many things tend to do, this got away from me and I think I could've still let it keep going, but I had to cut it off. Hope you love it!!! - Mickala ❤️

-----------------------------------------------

It was Robin’s idea.

She knew therapy wasn’t working. She knew firsthand that the nightmares, especially Steve’s, were impossible to handle some nights.

She stayed with him enough after the Russians to know he was averaging four hours of restless sleep on a good night.

And now that he’d seen the horrors of the Upside Down, and Eddie almost dying, and Max almost dying, and the guilt of just existing, they were worse.

Eddie had them, but he was usually able to calm down relatively quickly, usually even fall back into a dreamless sleep after.

His problem was just seeing the bats everywhere, even when he was awake. A large bird would fly by and he was ducking for cover like a bomb would be dropped on him. He’d hear screeching, sometimes even just kids yelling at the park, and he’d have a panic attack.

Drastically different problems, but Robin said this could help with both of them.

So Steve and Eddie stood outside the wolf sanctuary, staring at the front office entrance where they were told to check in.

They glanced at each other, waiting for the other to make the first move.

It’s not that they were scared. They’d been told about the process on the phone in great detail, the sanctuary director answering all of their questions in a friendly tone.

She’d said that the wolf sanctuary had been used as a form of therapy for people for years now, though many psychiatrists didn’t consider it an appropriate treatment.

Considering Steve and Eddie had been seeing a professional psychiatrist for months now with no progress and serious weight loss and migraines from their prescriptions, they were willing to give this a fair shot.

But their fear that it wouldn’t work kept circling through their minds.

If this didn’t work, they weren’t sure what else they could possibly try.

That was terrifying.

They were supposed to stay for a month, with the option of extending the stay if they felt they needed it.

It was expensive.

But this was on the US government, and Eddie was always quick to spend their money for his benefit.

Steve was just along for the ride.

They walked in together, both nervously looking around at the chairs and desks, bookshelves, pictures of wolves and mountains on the walls, and one small, gray-haired woman at the front desk.

“Oh, aren’t you two precious! Which one’s Steve and which one’s Eddie?”

“I’m Steve,” Eddie smirked as he held out his hand.

Steve smacked his arm.

“He’s Eddie, and he’s probably gonna be this way the whole time. Sorry in advance,” Steve told the woman.

“This is wonderful! You’ll be fun to have around. I’m Fran, I run the front office. I spoke to you the other day on the phone a bit about the check in. Are you boys ready?”

They both nodded.

She clapped her hands together in excitement.

Steve could tell Eddie loved her. She was full of theatrics like he was, every word punctuated by an exaggerated movement.

“First, the boring part. We did some of the first part over the phone, but these packets need to be filled out completely and given back to me. You can have a seat anywhere to do those. When that’s done, I’ll show you where to bring your bags so you can unpack and get comfortable. We can do a tour before dinner.”

She placed the packets on the desk in front of her, then took two pens out of a mug and placed them down too.

“If you have any questions, let me know. You two are just the cutest!”

She walked through a small doorway a few feet behind her desk and they grabbed the packets to start filling them out.

The first page was basic personal information, which had been filled out already. The second page was emergency contact information and how they were referred. But the third page is where it got difficult.

It has questions like “What is your worst memory?” and “Who is the person you would most expect to protect you in a life or death situation? Why?”

And while Eddie and Steve could probably answer those easily from terrible experiences, there was a lot they weren’t allowed to say.

So they just stuck with the official government stories for any and all Upside Down related parts, which was most of them.

Fran bustled back in, two steaming mugs in her hands. She set them on her desk carefully and then walked over to where Eddie was sitting.

“How’s it going?”

“Good. Almost done,” he smiled up at her.

“And you, dear?” She asked Steve.

“Good. I’m sorry I write kind of slow.”

Steve’s face was red, like he was embarrassed. Eddie watched as he focused on the paper in front of him, his hand moving slowly across the paper.

Steve’s concussions had a lot of lasting effects; migraines and one ear that was barely working, the occasional speech delay, and an inconvenient struggle with writing, especially if it was answering questions about himself like this.

Eddie distracted Fran as he wrote his last answer, talking to her about her favorite part of the sanctuary and how long she’s been working here.

He handed the packet to her when he was done, glancing over at Steve to see he was just starting on the last page.

“Hey, Fran, would it be okay if you helped me get our bags from the car while Steve finishes up?”

Steve sent him a grateful smile as he continued answering the questions on the paper.

As he walked with Fran to the car, she touched his arm.

“He’s got a lot going on, doesn’t he?”

“Yeah. He’s been dealing with this a lot longer than I have,” Eddie smiled sadly at her, touching her hand to accept the comfort she was giving and give some in return. “I hope this works for both of us, but I’d be happy as long as it works for him.”

“You care a lot about him.”

It wasn’t a question, and her tone wasn’t judging, but Eddie could just tell. He should panic, he should tell her it wasn’t like that. And it wasn’t for Steve.

But he’d been hiding it for so long, and somehow successfully, he couldn’t lie to her.

“I love him. He doesn’t know how much. I did this for him, mostly. I mean I want it to help me too, but I know he wouldn’t have tried this if I didn’t come and he,” Eddie sighed. “He needs this. He can’t keep going like he has been.”

Fran pulled him into a hug and he did all he could not to start crying.

“He’s lucky to have you on his side no matter what, darling. And I’d bet anything he thinks the same of you,” she said softly.

“I don’t think it’s quite the same. He loves me like a friend, but he’s not…not like me.”

Gay. He wasn’t gay. Or even a little into men. Eddie was sure of that.

Fran pulled away and just smiled at him.

“Okay, then. Let’s get these bags inside.”

They managed to bring everything in in one trip, and by the time they made it back inside, Steve was done with his packet.

“Alright!” Fran clapped her hands together in excitement. “To your room!”

Eddie’s eyes widened.

“Room? Like, just one?”

“Yep! The other room we have for long-term residents is already taken for the next few weeks. Will that be okay?”

She was smiling innocently at Eddie, who knew she knew why he was suddenly panicking.

“That’s fine. We end up sharing a room all the time, right, Eds?” Steve asked as he grabbed his own bags from the floor.

“Uh. Yep. Totally fine.”

“Great!”

She led them out the back of the front office, down the sidewalk that led to a row of small buildings.

“This first building is storage. The next one is the short-term stays, usually people who donate frequently to keep us running, staying for a night or two to see where their money goes. This next building is for long-term stays. That’s you two. It’s split into a duplex, so you’ll have basically a studio apartment in there. Kitchen, bathroom, living area with a sectioned off area as the bedroom. You each will have a key, but keep in mind that the director also has a key for emergencies. The janitorial staff only goes if requested, so let me know if you feel it needs a sprucing up or you need new sheets or anything. Fridge is stocked and gets restocked every two weeks.” She paused as they made it to the steps to the building. “Oh! We don’t technically have a curfew for the guests. You’re adults and we trust you on your journey here. But we do ask that you try to be back no later than 11, as we often shut off many of the trail lights by midnight to ensure the animals have the closest replica of the wild as possible.”

Steve and Eddie nodded, eyes wide at all the information being thrown at them so quickly.

“Your room has a phone of course. You’re free to use as often as you’d like. Pressing 1 gets you in touch with the front office, 2 is for security, 3 is for the director’s office. I recommend calling the front office unless it’s an emergency so we can get in touch with the right people for you. After your tour, you’ll have free reign over the entire sanctuary except for anywhere marked employees and volunteers only. That’s for your safety, of course. We encourage you to be a part of some of the educational tours and seminars that we offer to the general public as well as enjoy time on your own with the wolves. Volunteers are here every day from 9 to 5, and the employees who help care for the wolves stay until 11. We have security here 24/7, but the director usually has a couple people on staff remain after regular hours in case of an animal emergency.”

This felt a little overwhelming, but he could already tell Steve was more relaxed here than he’d been anywhere else since he met him.

“I work when they need me, but my home number is by the phone in there for you just in case you need a chat. I retired a couple years ago so I spend a lot of my time at home with my dog. You’re never a bother, okay?”

They both nodded.

She hugged them both, handed them their keys, and started to walk away.

“Your tour will be in about an hour. James is running it today. You’ll love him!”

She was gone before they could even respond, so they looked back to each other and shrugged before heading inside.

The main door was unlocked, but the door inside marked with a “2” was locked. Steve unlocked it and pushed the door open.

The apartment was nice, but small, smaller than either of them had expected.

“Guess we’ll be getting pretty close for the next month, huh?” Steve joked.

Eddie’s heart was in his throat.

He could see the “bedroom” from where he stood. It was one queen sized bed. One.

“Um. Yep. Guess so. I can take the couch,” Eddie rushed out.

Steve clearly hadn’t seen the sleeping arrangement yet or he would have probably offered. He’s a self-sacrificing idiot, so Eddie had to rush to offer before he could.

“What? Why?”

Eddie gestured towards the bed.

“There’s plenty of room for both of us, dude. A month on the couch isn’t exactly gonna help with the nightmares.”

“It looks pretty cozy.”

Steve just stared at him, brows raised like Eddie was an idiot.

He was an idiot, but he didn’t need Steve thinking it.

“Eddie. Seriously. We can share a bed.”

Steve wouldn’t let him win, it’s just not who Steve was.

“Okay, okay! Let’s just unpack so we can go see some wolves or whatever.”

They unpacked in silence, Steve taking the spot closest to the door without Eddie having a choice.

Self-sacrificing idiot.

—--------------

James knocked on their door at exactly 4:00, like he’d been standing there waiting for the clock to change over from 3:59.

“Hello! I’m James. You’re Steve and Eddie?”

They all shook hands and James started explaining things quickly.

James was only a bit older than them, wearing a volunteer shirt that had seen better days, and had the energy of Dustin.

“So! I’m gonna show you the lay of the land, you can ask me questions, I can try to answer them, and then I can drop you off back here so you can eat. The first night can be a bit of an adjustment, so feel free to give me a call if you have trouble. My number is under Fran’s,” James spoke rapid-fire, but not so fast they couldn’t keep up. They were used to that, anyway.

“So to start, everything you guys really need is along this main trail.” He pointed the way they came earlier and then the other direction. “That way leads to our nutrition area for the wolves, which you are welcome to visit anytime during the day to help or feed some of the rehabilitated wolves in the building nextdoor which is the hospital. The hospital is only open to the guests staying here and employees from 12-5, just because much of the mornings are spent performing surgeries or checkups. You’re encouraged to spend time with any of the wolves there in recovery as it helps their spirits much like a person. But if you take the left at the fork in this trail, you’ll be led to other trails. The first one is the wolf enclosures, which I’m taking you to now.” He kept walking as he spoke, moving his hands constantly, big smile keeping Eddie and Steve enthralled.

“We have one specifically for the ones we’ve rescued who are still healing from injuries, and that one is off limits to everyone between dusk and dawn. Many of these wolves are relearning how to be wild and part of that is using the night to hunt. Being in their cage during those times could be dangerous. They wouldn’t necessarily eat you,” he paused to laugh. “But they may take a bite. Now! The second enclosure is where we keep Herald. You can laugh at his name.” Eddie let out a small laugh.

“Herald had a rough upbringing. He was rescued about six months ago from a traveling circus that had abused him for at least a few years. We think he’s about 5 years old, but can’t be 100% certain. He’s hesitant around all people, even the director. He can be very unpredictable, so only the director, vet, and head nutritionist are allowed in there. You’re welcome to visit from the outside anytime you’d like though! He’s shy, but it can’t hurt having people talk to him.”

James was walking pretty quickly, and if Steve wasn’t so in shape, he’d be struggling. He looked over at Eddie. Eddie was struggling a little, but didn’t want to stop or slow down.

“And the last enclosure is for the rest of the wolves. These are ones that may be reintroduced to the wild soon or who may have been rescued without injuries, but just aren’t ready to go yet. This enclosure has a few areas for public access. The first being the feeding area, the second being the petting area. The petting area is only able to be accessed when employees or volunteers are present. The third area is only for guests staying long term such as yourselves.”

James walked them through a gate off to the side of the enclosure.

“This area is my favorite in the whole sanctuary. It’s their den area. It’s not recommended to come alone, and you should always go to the petting area to meet them first, but this area is nice for anyone who wants to feel like a part of the pack.”

“We can go in there?”

“Again, it’s definitely recommended to meet the wolves in the petting area first, maybe feed them a few times to show them you’re a friend, but yes.”

“Huh.”

Eddie watched Steve’s reaction.

This was much more involved than they expected to be.

“So that’s the enclosures! The next part of this trail leads to a walking and biking trail that is a great way to see some nature without having to leave the area. It’s snake season, though, so make sure you know your snake safety beforehand and bring the provided whistle with you in case of an emergency. Volunteers and employees are always within hearing distance during normal hours and can usually respond within 3-4 minutes.”

“Could we go back to Herald?”

Eddie’s head snapped to Steve, who was looking at James with a kind smile.

“Oh. Well, sure. The only other thing I needed to show you was the trail leading to the lake, but we can go back after.”

So James backtracked, Steve and Eddie close on his heels.

They got to the enclosure with Herald, but didn’t see him.

“He likes to hide. Especially if it isn’t close to meal time, he doesn’t usually come close to the fence. His den is hidden away.”

Steve kept walking up to the fence as James spoke, Eddie watching and trying to figure out what was going on.

“Herald? You there?” Steve called gently into the fence. Wolves had excellent hearing, and he’d probably already heard them approach. “You can come say hi if you want to.”

Eddie stood next to Steve, looking out at the area in the enclosure. There was a good mix of forest and empty area, with plenty of things that were probably used as toys scattered around. He watched for any sign of movement, listened for any trotting over.

Nothing.

Steve looked incredibly disappointed, but James walked closer and gave them both a smile.

“Like I said, Herald isn’t very social and it’s nothing personal. He doesn’t even seem to like the director and all the wolves love her.”

But Eddie knew Steve. He knew that he wasn’t gonna let that shit go.

“Alright! Shall we head to the trail by the lake?”

Eddie watched as Steve sighed, but nodded.

—--------------

Steve cooked them dinner that evening, said it helped him relax and that he would feel more at home if he got into a routine.

Eddie wouldn’t complain; He loved Steve’s cooking.

He made a basic spaghetti dish, even toasted some bread and sprinkled some garlic powder on it to make garlic bread.

They sat at the small table by the front door and ate in silence.

“It’s really quiet here.”

Eddie looked up to see Steve staring down at his plate, biting his lip nervously.

“It’s kind of nice though. Peaceful.”

“Yeah.”

Eddie knew what he was worried about.

He was worried the silence would make him have more nightmares instead of less, that he’d be left with nothing to help him if this failed.

“Hey,” Eddie reached over and patted Steve’s hand that rested on the table. “I’m here, alright? You won’t be alone.”

“Yeah,” Steve agreed, only slightly relaxing back into his seat.

—--------------

The next day was relaxed.

They walked along the main trail after breakfast, happy to see Fran again and meet some new people.

They stopped at Herald’s enclosure, but still didn’t see or hear him.

Steve was disappointed, but it was hidden away when they were able to feed and pet some of the other wolves before lunch.

The wolves were all beautiful, clearly well taken care of, and even the ones still in recovery were cleaned, well-fed, and cared for by the team.

Eddie quickly had a favorite: Mabel. She was an “old woman” as the employee at the feeding area said. She was 12 years old, had been brought in from the side of the road after being hit. She had had a broken leg and many broken ribs, along with cuts that needed stitches. Not the worst they’d seen, but due to her being nearly 11 at the time, they didn’t expect her to pull through. She did though, and had quickly become known as the leader of the group. All the wolves respected her, it was clear even to Eddie and Steve. She was the first to the feeding area, the first to the petting area, and would often stand guard over the others as they went into the shared spaces.

She was light brown with gray speckled throughout, her scars visible, but mostly covered with hair.

Steve loved Mabel, too, but he still had his heart set on Herald.

Eddie wasn’t stupid. He knew why Steve was so fixated on him.

Someone who was abused and hidden away and expected to perform every day for crowds of people? Yeah, Steve and Herald had quite a bit in common.

He just didn’t want him to get his hopes up for nothing.

After lunch, they decided to walk over to the nutrition center, maybe learn something new.

It was educational, and fun, and Eddie said multiple times how much he wished actual school had been like this.

The nutritionists let them help set up all the wolves’ dinners, showing them portion sizes for each of the wolves, telling them what the wolves’ favorites were. How they celebrated birthdays for them.

It was fun. Steve even cracked some smiles throughout.

—--------------

That night was rough.

Steve had fallen asleep quickly, much to Eddie’s delight, but it didn’t last long.

Eddie was woken up not long after he fell asleep by whimpering. He glanced at the alarm clock by the bed. 10:38. Barely an hour.

He knew from experience that waking Steve up would just make things worse for him, so he gently set his hand on Steve’s side, the best support he could give right now.

It physically pained Eddie to watch Steve’s face tighten in fear and sadness, whatever his nightmare was this time painting a horrifying picture he couldn’t escape.

Steve had mentioned once that his worst nightmares weren’t even about reliving anything that happened. They weren’t anyone dying, though he had those too. They weren’t even him dying.

They were everyone turning on him, finally seeing he wasn’t worth their time or effort, leaving him alone in that big empty house just like his parents did. He said the worst part was when Robin and Eddie left in the nightmare. When they looked at him with disgust and said he wasn’t good enough for the kids, and he damn sure wasn’t good enough for them.

No matter how many times they told him that would never be true, he still had them.

Ten minutes went by, agonizingly slowly, tears falling down Steve’s face. Eddie was whispering words of comfort, hoping that somehow Steve could hear him, but knowing he probably couldn’t.

But finally, Steve’s eyes opened, the whimpering stopped, and he was no longer hearing and seeing what hurt him the most.

He sat up and wiped his eyes, but the tears kept coming and his breathing was still labored.

Eddie sat up with him, hand on his arm, thumb rubbing back and forth to keep him present.

“I think I need to walk it off,” Steve said, voice wet with tears still to come.

“Okay. Do you want me to come with you?”

Steve shook his head.

“No, go back to sleep. I’ll only be out for a few minutes.”

And as much as Eddie knew that was a lie, and knew he should probably go with Steve, he had to trust him.

He’d be safe. He had to be.

—--------------

Steve walked aimlessly up and down the main trail for 10 minutes, trying to breathe in the fresh air, focus on his surroundings.

It wasn’t working as well as he’d hoped, but it was better than staying in bed and letting Eddie see him like this.

Eddie was too kind, always. He was bright, like the sun and the stars and the moon on a clear night. He was everything. And if Steve let himself be too vulnerable, too much, Eddie would take that light.

He lost track of where he was going, his breaths coming in sharper pants now as he let more tears fall.

A noise made him freeze.

Leaves rustling.

He looked up to see Herald’s enclosure in front of him. And…

Herald.

Herald was huge, much bigger than any of the other wolves they’d seen so far. He was beautiful. Scars along his legs showing that he had been abused awfully before coming here, but the rest of him glowed with health. He was standing about eight feet from the fence, trying to hide some of his body still behind the bushes along the forest line.

Steve slowly made his way to the fence, his hands up to show he wasn’t going to cause any harm.

Herald didn’t come closer, but he didn’t back or run away either.

Steve counted that as a win.

He instantly slumped to the ground at the fence, his hands and head resting against the chain links like they were the only thing keeping him upright. Maybe they were.

Steve closed his eyes.

He was so focused on staying calm, he couldn’t hear Herald approach. But he suddenly felt a cold, wet nose against his head.

He didn’t panic, he didn’t want to scare Herald, but he realized suddenly that his fingers were very much easily accessed by sharp teeth.

He let Herald sniff him, then slowly looked up.

Herald was tilting his head at him, almost as if he was asking if he was okay.

That made Steve sob.

Herald jumped slightly, but then moved so he was completely against the fence, laying down so his warm body could be against Steve’s.

Steve slowly let his hands fall, reaching through the fence slowly to let them rest in Herald’s fur.

He felt the wolf sigh, and he couldn’t help but laugh.

“Yeah, I get it. Sometimes it’s nice to have someone care, huh? You’re so soft,” Steve whispered, knowing Herald was still not completely relaxed around him.

“You tired?”

Steve felt a little silly for asking a wolf a question, but he felt even sillier when he realized Herald had just moved his head up and down. It was probably a coincidence, but the timing was crazy.

“Me too. We should get some sleep.”

Herald huffed and rolled his head back against the fence.

“Want me to stay?”

Herald huffed again.

“Okay.”

So Steve stayed.

He sat down on the ground, back against the fence, and listened to the crickets and the steady breaths of Herald.

He was woken up by Eddie shaking him and a growl coming from behind him.

“Steve! Jesus, I thought you’d got lost or died or something.”

“How long have I been out here?”

“It’s nearly two in the morning!”

Herald was growling behind him, protectively pacing behind Steve like he would find a way to get through the fence if Eddie tried to hurt him.

“Hey, Herald, it’s okay. This is Eddie. He’s here with me. He’s my friend,” Steve said calmly, holding his hand through the fence so Herald could sniff him and see he was okay.

“Steve! Get your hand out of there. He isn’t friendly, remember?”

“Oh, please. He just slept by me for hours and let me hold his fur like he was a stuffed animal. He’s plenty friendly.”

Eddie just stared, jaw slack, as he realized Steve was right.

Herald was licking Steve’s hand, leaving his scent on him like he was trying to provide as much protection as possible.

“You made friends with the only wolf here who hates people. Unbelievable.”

“Hey, be nice. He just needs some love is all.”

Eddie nodded. Yeah, him and another person with a name that started with S and rhymed with sleeve.

Eddie’s heart had been racing for the last 15 minutes since he woke up and realized Steve wasn’t in bed next to him or anywhere in the apartment.

He finally took a deep breath, balling his shaking hands into fists and stuffing them into the pocket of his hoodie.

“We should head back inside, Stevie.”

Steve seemed to notice Eddie wasn’t doing so great.

“I’m alright, Eds. Hey, look at me.” Eddie looked at Steve’s face, the way he seemed more relaxed than when he first left after his nightmare. “I’m okay. I must have fallen asleep.”

Eddie took a deep breath, resting his head against Steve’s shoulder as he let it out.

“I thought you were gone.”

“Nah, you can’t get rid of me now.”

“No?”

“Nope. Herald and I are just good friends, but you’re still-” Steve cut himself off, but Eddie wasn’t going to let that pass.

“What?”

“Nothing. Not important.”

“Yeah it is. Tell me.”

Steve seemed nervous, and Herald must have sensed it because he let out a low growl.

“It’s just that you mean a lot to me. Kind of everything, actually.”

Eddie couldn’t breathe.

What did that even mean?

Steve’s hand was suddenly in his hair, playing with the ends the way Eddie did when he was nervous.

“You’re just. I mean, how could you not mean the world to me? You dropped everything to come here with me because you knew I wouldn’t do it alone, Eds. You bring me candy at work even though I literally have access to all the candy I want at the counter. You let me find reasons not to watch the scary movies on movie nights when Dustin picks because you know I can’t handle them. You swim in the pool with me alone so no one knows how much I still hate it. I…you’re just…”

Eddie didn’t let him stutter any more, knowing what he was saying without actually saying it.

He knew what Steve was afraid of, and he wasn’t going to let him be scared anymore.

“Steve. I love you. That’s why I do all that. I love you. I’m in love with you. You deserve more than what I can give, but I can keep giving you all of the love I have, and hopefully that will be enough.”

Steve’s lips were on his before he finished speaking, teeth clacking together at the force of it.

Herald huffed, but they didn’t stop. Eddie didn’t know how he was supposed to now that he had Steve’s lips on his.

He never wanted them gone.

His hands reached up to Steve’s neck, cradling his jaw between them as if he was holding something precious. He was.

“I love you so much,” Steve said against his lips, melting against Eddie.

“I love you, Stevie,” Eddie said back. He planted another soft kiss to his lips before resting their foreheads together. “Let’s go back to bed, okay? We can come see Herald after breakfast.”

Steve nodded and turned to Herald.

“I’ll be back. Don’t hide from me, okay?”

He reached in to give Herald’s head a scratch, and Eddie shook his head in disbelief.

It took less than 48 hours for Steve to have the one wolf in this sanctuary who didn’t like people completely wrapped around his finger.

But Eddie could relate.

Steve’s charm was damn near impossible to resist and now he didn’t have to try.

[transmutationisms]

Re your post about supplements: Totally agree, but can you clarify what a “Bruce Levine doctor” is? Thanks! Hope your bones become solid.

oh sorry i was just referencing this article by bruce levine about doctors (iconic) (to me)

Gaining acceptance into graduate school or medical school and achieving a PhD or MD and becoming a psychologist or psychiatrist means jumping through many hoops, all of which require much behavioral and attentional compliance to authorities, even to those authorities that one lacks respect for. The selection and socialization of mental health professionals tends to breed out many anti-authoritarians. Having steered the higher-education terrain for a decade of my life, I know that degrees and credentials are primarily badges of compliance. Those with extended schooling have lived for many years in a world where one routinely conforms to the demands of authorities. Thus for many MDs and PhDs, people different from them who reject this attentional and behavioral compliance appear to be from another world—a diagnosable one. I have found that most psychologists, psychiatrists, and other mental health professionals are not only extraordinarily compliant with authorities but also unaware of the magnitude of their obedience. And it also has become clear to me that the anti-authoritarianism of their patients creates enormous anxiety for these professionals, and their anxiety fuels diagnoses and treatments. In graduate school, I discovered that all it took to be labeled as having “issues with authority” was to not kiss up to a director of clinical training whose personality was a combination of Donald Trump, Newt Gingrich, and Howard Cosell. When I was told by some faculty that I had “issues with authority,” I had mixed feelings about being so labeled. On the one hand, I found it quite amusing, because among the working-class kids whom I had grown up with, I was considered relatively compliant with authorities. After all, I had done my homework, studied, and received good grades. However, while my new “issues with authority” label made me grin because I was now being seen as a “bad boy,” it also very much concerned me about just what kind of a profession that I had entered. Specifically, if somebody such as myself was being labeled with “issues with authority,” what were they calling the kids I grew up with who paid attention to many things that they cared about but didn’t care enough about school to comply there? Well, the answer soon became clear.