#oh boy I am tempting myself with the concept of just sitting down and writing a series worth of scripts for lulz.

[essektheylyss]

Is there any Essek scene in particular you’re hoping is included in the show?

Oh man oh god oh fuck. This list could go on SO long.

To be fair, the thing with Essek is that there are a lot of very small and fun but not narratively load-bearing scenes, and then a few major scenes that have a decent amount of narrative weight to them. For instance, the first study scene (the second is important but could be combined into it if that the pace required it), the Scourger incident, the dinner, and most of episode 97 have a lot of narrative impact, either for Caleb's arc or for the plot as a whole. I've already suggested I need to see the ninth floor tower conversation animated like a fish needs water to breathe, and I'd love both the times Essek physically pulls Caleb out of danger, of course.

There's also a lot of wiggle room in how you pace the Nein and break up their arcs (which I think was more rigid translating campaign 1 to LoVM—even when arcs are shifted around, the sequences of events are kept somewhat orderly) which means that speculation is pretty hard, particularly when it comes to Essek, who meets the Nein so far into the campaign. Basically, any of these things might not be as narratively necessary by then, depending on what they choose to cut or focus in on. I could speculate on that, and I'm sure I will extensively, but at a certain point I might as well just write a series worth of scripts as a fun side project.

That being said, I do really hope the Scourger scene remains, because it is so cinematically interesting, and I do consider it a major turning point between the wizards, regardless of either of them realizing it at the time or not.

And I also really want to watch him have a panic attack over whiskey cocoa. It is in no way load-bearing, but nonetheless, I would like to see it, and I think I deserve it.

[loquaciousquark]

You’ve talked about River Stone already, so I’ll mention Were We Not Called, which is lovely lovely lovely as a Hawke/Fenris story, but one particular bit that sticks is actually the section about Isabela and cockle shells and seaweed and you better believe pre-destination is not a thing.

BOY HOWDY LET ME TALK TO YOU ABOUT THIS FIC AND ABOUT THIS SECTION IN PARTICULAR BECAUSE MAN DO I HAVE A LOT OF FEELINGS ABOUT IT. So the soulmate trope is cool. Like, I’ve been aware of it in fandoms for...gosh, ten years? Longer? And I totally recognize that it’s a straight-up romantic like, you for me and me for you and this is how it is, now what? trope, and that is totally fine and good and I get it.

But man oh man, you read enough soulmate fics where every. single. person. is paired up by the end of the fic, and it’s just...it’s a Lot. I remember reading one--I don’t even think I knew the fandom, just fic-hopping on AO3--and while the writing was grammatically impeccable, I couldn’t get over how Stepford-Wives-neat every pairing had become by the last chapter. And I could tell the author loved the fic! And loved the pairings, and tried to do them justice! But man, how do you have eight main pairings, and all of them just...work out? Without effort? Why did every single person just...accept that because this random mark or phrase got slapped on their buttcheek at birth that this other person was totally perfect for them in every way? There were no arguments, there were no conflicts of interest, no one questioning how or where or why these markings happened or what it meant to be a soulmate. It was just--introduction, wild chemistry, and sex, pairing after pairing after pairing. Most of them hadn’t ever had sex before their soulmate, or even considered looking at anyone else, like it was an utterly foreign concept. No one even questioned if their soulmate was a good person.

Obviously, this one fic is not representative of all soulmate trope fics. But it was one of the worst I’d read, and many more fics echoed enough of its issues I was dissatisfied with the--with the basic humanity of the whole thing! More than anything, I was viscerally repulsed by how docile characters tended to be once presented with their match; at that point, the conflict was over. Anything left was external--kidnapping, war, etc; there was no decision even on the table to be made on the parts of the people in the ship. And all I could think of was that passage in the Little House on the Prairie books where Laura Ingalls Wilder tells Almanzo that she’ll marry him, but she won’t have the word “obey” in the vows, and that’s all there is to it. (I know, I know. Stop looking at me like that.)

I remember once Mom trying to give me some candy I wanted as a kid, and even though I wanted it, I refused because she had ordered me to take it. That was what I needed (and wasn’t getting) from these fics. I needed the autonomy, the choice. I needed the characters to acknowledge that they were living, breathing men & women & nb folks with minds of their own who were capable of making their own decisions, that they were staying with these people because they had free will and had deliberately chosen them with their eyes wide open, not because they were forced into this permanent binding relationship by a quirk of fate before they were even born.

(There’s a line in Queen’s Thief that discusses this, and echoes a conversation Jade & I once had in real life about God and free will: “If I am the pawn of the gods, it is because they know me so well, not because they make my mind up for me.”)

So. When I saw this prompt (I think actually sent my way by @thegeminisage?), I thought to myself NOW IS THE TIME, NOW IS THE MOMENT, now is finally my chance to do this thing the way I desperately want to see it done. I want free will. I want complicated soulmates. I want soulmates who choose not to be with each other. I want soulmates who only meet after one’s had their first lover die. I want people loving outside of their soulmates and not being judged for it. I want Isabela to have the ultimate freedom, a permanent freedom, to ignore a demand set on her from birth forever.

So when I got to her section, I knew the feeling I wanted to write. I vividly remember sitting in a Chickfila downtown over a lunch break, writing on my tiny iPad mini while wolfing down a sandwich before I had to go back for afternoon clinics. It was raining--not hard, but enough that it was drizzling, and I was listening to Olafur Arnalds (as always), and as soon as I had the image of the fairy tale (a la the little mermaid) I knew how the rest of the lines went. It was just following them to their conclusion and letting Isabela have all the soft curves and sharp edges she deserves, and making sure that under it all was the firm foundation that every part of this was, and would always be, her decision.

--

Still, even knowing, she finds she's not terribly tempted to search out her own supposed one true love. The name at the hollow of her throat belongs to a fairy tale, a girl dead twenty years, a princess who fled her prison to live instead in the wild dark heart of the sea. Even were they to drag her ashore again, gasping, they would find her changed too far from who she was; made new in cockle shells, and seaweed, and the fine grit of a shark's skin to set a careless hand to bleeding. There's nothing solid in seafoam to embrace.

No. Isabela's body is her own, no one else's, and she'll choose who she likes when she likes and regret none of them, and if she has a missing half it's the grey waves of an early dawn on the ocean, stars just this side of fading in the sky behind her. Soulmate—no. She'll have a first mate instead.

[voltron-legendary-pretender]

Awaken, My Love

Summary: Prompt fill from a lovely anon - Keith hurts Lance during his Galra awakening and is really upset about it. Lance can’t bear watching the one he loves in so much pain and he does everything he can to make him feel better. Sad but fluffy with a happy ending! Whump overload >.<

*side note - they cannot put Keith in a pod while he is changing as it could mess up the process and could lead to further difficulties in the future so our lil baby boy is just gonna have to suffer for a while.

Warnings; Non-descriptive injures, mentions of blood, mentions of vomit

This has been sitting in my drafts for months now as I am a perfectionist and I felt as though there were some sections that needed a bit more umpf ya know?

I really enjoy writing for you guys please dont think I’d ever just abandon this blog I just wanted it to be as good as I could make it but in the end I decided to give myself a break and I’ve decided to post without edits! 

Hope you enjoy don’t hesitate to leave a comment or a critique I read them all and welcome constructive criticism of my work :)

I am here to become a better writer so please tell me what Ii need to improve on/ what you would like to see from me next!

Panic filled Lance’s sleep-clouded mind when he was startled awake that faithful night to find his boyfriend Keith writhing around their shared bed in immense pain, releasing high-pitched screams of pure agony. They both knew this day would come, but neither of them could’ve guessed it would be so soon.

Lance swore he could feel each individual heart strings being torn to shreds as he looked on helplessly. He watched in horror as Keith’s skin began to exhibit small patches of purple and claws ripped their way through his nail-beds tearing the skin off his fingers and causing blood to flow freely from the fresh wounds. Keith spluttered out more blood along with several of his human teeth before turning to Lance, his now golden eyes glazed over from the disorientating pain.

“H-help me” he pleaded pitifully in a voice so broken Lance wondered if he’d ever be able to piece him back together.

All concept of time had faded during the ordeal, but after what must have been around 20 minutes of what could only be described as hell, Keith’s yells and cries had subsided and been replaced by soft whimpers accompanied by the silent tears we streamed down his now purple face.

As Keith fell into a restless slumber the gravity of what had just happened hit Lance full force. All their lives would be changed forever and that worried Lance.

What if Keith was different when he came around? What would become of the team? What would happen to the love they once shared?

With each awful thought came a further pang of anxiety, they landed Lance’s stomach like raindrops hitting the bottom of a tin bucket, threatening to overflow at each additional worry. Lance was tempted to wake the others, he really hated going through this alone; he could really use one of Hunk’s famous hugs right now, but deep down he knew that if everyone were to arrive into the small room it would only upset Keith more, and right now keeping Keith as comfortable and as safe as possible was priority.

The training Lance had received from Coran all those months ago when it was first discovered that Keith was part Galra had now kicked in. The “So Your Boyfriend’s Galra?” crash course had been extremely helpful to Lance and it gave him a deeper insight on how to care for Keith. Keith often suffered from bad migraines and ran abnormally high fevers from even the smallest cold, afflictions that could usually be cured by bed rest and tender words of comfort from Lance, but this, this was a whole new ball park.

Lance was soon snapped back to reality however as Keith’s whines grew louder and he once again began to thrash around on the bed.

“Okay, you can do this!” Lance reassured himself as he got off the bed and made his way to the door to fetch a first aid kit, a damp cloth and a water pouch for Keith. He was going to do exactly what Coran had instructed all those months ago, back before Lance’s worst nightmare became a reality.

Letting out a shaky sigh as the sliding door whooshed open, Lance turned back around to face Keith’s disheveled form one last time before promising;

“I’ll keep you safe love, we’ll get through this.” in a barely audible whisper, more so to calm himself than Keith.

On his arrival back things were bad.

There was a lot more blood and Keith had vomited on himself. It was as if Keith’s body was shedding itself inside and out. Clumps of hair accompanied large pieces of torn skin and broken nails on the once blue duvet that was now stained a deep purple with blood and bile. It was heart breaking. Lance was frozen in the doorway in pure horror. 

Keith hadn’t noticed Lance re-enter the room, yet as he curled in on himself on the bed he feverishly chanted Lance’s name like a mantra,

“L-lance, -ance ahh ah d-don’t t l-eave pl-lease m-mak-e ahh it it s-st ah stop”

That was it. 

Coran’s no touching rule be damned, Keith needed to know Lance was there for him, no way was this boy ever going to feel abandoned ever again.

Placing the first aid materials down on the bed-side locker, Lance quietly scooched up behind his beautiful boyfriend, my God, he didn’t deserve any of this pain.

A gentle rub on the back that Lance intended to be a form of comfort back-fired quickly.

No sooner had the palm of his hand made contact with Keith’s back did the latter boy let out a hiss that sounded like that of a wild panther’s, before turning around with claws bared and slashed Lance across the chest.

“D-don’t t-touch me!” He yelled as Lance flopped back into a kneeling position in disbelief. He held his hand to his aching chest and pulled it away only to find fresh crimson liquid pooling in his palm.

Sheepishly looking down Lance caught sight of the three angry claw marks that had ripped through his pajama top and were causing blood to ooze out of his once flawlessly smooth skin.

He needed help. Fast.

Grabbing the remote beside his bed he set off the alarms in the castle to wake everyone up before leaving a frantic message.

“Guys, I-I need you all down h-here right now, arghh K-Keith’s changing. I I need h-help, hurry p-please”

Before he knew it the remaining paladins had arrived accompanied by Allura and Coran. Keith was now yelling again and more blood began to stream out of his mouth. Everyone was taken aback by the scene they were witnessing but soon sprang into action to help.

It was all a blur. Lance could vaguely remember being carried to the infirmary by Hunk, along with two other concerned voices which later turned out to be Coran and Pidge, Allura and Shiro left to deal with “the Keith situation”.

Dizzy and delusional from the blood loss, Lance began to cry and apologize to Coran.

“I-I’m sorry I d-didn’t d-do wh-what ahh you you t-told me, I - I w-want-ed him to to kno-w that that I-I...”

Lance’s sobs were cut off by Coran placing his strong hands on the trembling boys shoulders before speaking “Hey look at me” he said in a voice so gentle Lance couldn’t help but comply.

“I am so proud of you, do you hear me? You did amazing, Keith will be fine, but this is an extremely traumatic thing to go through, he needs you to be there for him okay? Right now your job is to get better so you can be there for him, all you need to do right now is focus in getting better alright?”

Lance nodded meekly in response.

“That’s my boy!” Come on now let’s get you into a pod and you’ll be right in a jiffy!” Coran announced.

Right as Lance stepped into the pod the older man embraced him in a warm hug.

“We all love you Lance, were so proud of you, you did so well” were Coran’s parting words. New tears sprang from Lance’s eyes but for the first time in a long time they were tears of joy, of pride. Yeah, he did good.

Just a couple of hours later the pod door whooshed open and Lance fell into the loving arms of his second family. Everyone was there except for Keith and Shiro.

“How is he?” Lance questioned no one in particular.

“Better” Allura supplied with a grimace. “It appears the worst is over, Shiro’s with him now”

“He’s been calling your name this entire time, he thinks you hate him” Pidge interjects sadly.

“Yeah” sighed Hunk. “he’s really beat up about the whole thing, he didn’t mean it.”

“I know that!” Lance practically yells. “I gotta see him is he still in the room?”

“Yes, unfortunately moving him to the med bay would have done more harm than good at this stage” Allura stated.

“Go to him my boy!” Coran said to Lance as he was already half way down the hallway.

“Don’t have to tell me twice!” Lance yelled back down to the others.

Lance was greeted by a very tired looking Shiro at the door who let him back into the room.

Hey how you doing buddy?” Shiro whispered. It appeared Keith had passed out again and Shiro was trying to keep him as well-rested as possible.

“I’m fine, why is he in restraints?” Lance replied, motioning towards Keith who looked worse for wear. Shiro let out a deep sigh before explaining.

“After he hurt you, he went nuts, he-he said he was a monster.” Shiro looked down sadly before continuing. “We had no choice he kept hurting himself, we tied him down so he would stop, some of the wounds are pretty deep, I’m stitching them up now while he’s out.”

“Oh God” Lance’s heart was broken. 

He approached the chair placed beside his boyfriend’s head and leaned down to kiss his his pain stained face as he took one of Keith’s bandaged hands into his own.

“Thank you for taking care of him Shiro. Go get some rest, I’ll take it from here” Lance said with a soft smile as he used his thumb to rub soothing circles onto the back of Keith’s injured hand.

“Are you sure Lance?” Shiro questioned.

“Yeah, totally” Lance replied instantly, eyes still locked firmly to Keith.

“I’m never gonna leave your side I promise” he whispered into his partner’s blood-soaked mullet.

“He really loves you you know” Shiro said as he stood in the door way.

“Yeah, I know. I know.”

At some point Lance must’ve dosed off, only to be awoken by the sound of Keith muttering in his sleep. His face was all screwed up and it appeared he was having a nightmare.

“ahh no no monster, m-monster no n-no Lancee no don-t leave-e me n-no ahh”

Lance felt like he could drown in the sadness that was flooding his insides at the sight of the boy he loved in so much pain.

“Ssh, I’m here, I’m here, I love you Keith, so much, shh it’s okay” Lance hushed as he stroked Keith’s hair.

With that his eyelids snapped open.

“Lance!” he gaped.

“Hello love, how are you feeling? Let me take these restraints of they can’t be comfy-”

“NO!” Keith yelled. “I’m a monster, I’m evil, I’ll just hurt you, please, don’t l-let me hurt you” Keith began to sob.

“Hey, hey it’s alright. It was an accident Keith! Ii love you babe. I’m so proud of you for making it through this, you are so strong dear” Lance consoled him as he unlocked the restraints before opening his arms up for a hug. Keith seemed to hesitate for a moment before throwing himself full-force into Lance’s warm embrace.

“I- I was-s so so scared” he hiccuped out in between sobs.

“I know darling, I know. I’m here now, I’ll never leave you, we’re gonna get through this okay?” Lance said softly as he planted kisses across Keith’s neck and shoulders. They held each other for some time before Lance broke contact.

“Let’s get you cleaned up a bit yeah?” he suggested. Keith nodded before nuzzling back into Lance’s chest one last time before sitting back.

Accessing the extent of his remaining untreated injuries, Lance concluded that at least some of the deeper wounds should be attended to before they got some much needed rest.

Lance worked slowly and gently, whispering words of encouragement and showering Keith with kisses whenever the battered boy began whimpering in pain. After a while, despite how careful Lance was, it was all becoming a bit too much for Keith. His breathing became audibly deeper and faster as he squeezed his eyes shut and gripped onto Lance’s shirt.

Noticing this change, Lance placed down the antiseptic soaked cloth he was holding and tipped Keith’s chin upwards to meet the other boy’s gaze and examine his face. 

“I-I don’t feel good” Keith hiccuped.

Lance felt his forehead and sighed. “You’re getting feverish again. I think we’ll leave this til later, okay? Do you need your bucket again?” he asked tenderly as he swiped Keith’s greasy hair from his face.

Keith simply nodded as he began clutching his stomach letting out little whines of pain.

“Here you go love” Lance held the bucket in front of Keith as the shaking boy retched violently into it, bringing up nothing but bile and a little blood.

“It’s okay, your okay” Lance reassured as he rubbed small circles on the small of Keith’s back. Keith merely whimpered and leaned back into Lance’s comforting embrace in response.

“Hurts” he said in a cracked voice.

“I know pet, I know” Lance sympathized as he used a fresh cloth to wipe Keith’s face clean.

“Here have some of this and then we’ll go to bed alright?” Lance reasoned, guiding the pouch of water to Keith’s bloody lips. He waited patiently as the smaller boy took a few small sips before screwing up his face in pain once more as he clutched his stomach.

“Okay, that’s enough for now.” Lance soothed.

“I’m just gonna strip the bed and we can cuddle okay?” Keith nodded furiously at this suggestion and Lance giggled.

“Alright, lemme just put you on the chair for a minute and I’ll bring you right back, okay?” Keith nodded once more.

As Lance began to slowly guide Keith off the bed and into a standing position he could feel the other boy trembling.

“Are you alright to do this love?” He asked concerned and Keith nodded in response yet again. He had to brave! He was already so weak and pathetic. This isn’t who Keith was.

However, standing even with the support of Lance proved to be too much for Keith, knees buckling beneath him, only to be saved from crashing to the floor by Lance’s arms.

“S-sorry I-I thought I c-could”

“Ssh, it’s alright love, I’ve got you, I’ve got you” Lance reassured as he carried Keith bridal-style to the chair, He planted a quick kiss on the top of Keith’s head before getting to work on quickly changing the bed sheets. Lance decided to use the red duvet with matching pillows that had patterns of smiling kittens all over them, he knew they were Keith favourite, even if he  was too stubborn to admit it.

Within a few minutes both boys were wrapped up in their own poorly constructed blanket burrito for two. They held onto each other simply starring into one another’s eyes.

“You’re beautiful” Lance smiled lazily, Keith’s new cat-like ears pricked up and Lance laughed softly. Keith’s blush turned into a frown.

“You know you don’t have to say those things to me anymore. I- I know I’m not a monster anymore but-but you don’t need to stay with me, I’m not what I was, who I was you don’t have to -” he began to ramble before Lance stopped him by leaning in for another kiss. This one was deeper, more needy than the many that came before, yet it was still soft and warm and not at all harsh in the way that was so uniquely Lance it made Keith’s head spin and his heart flutter.

“Don’t be so silly” Lance spoke as they broke apart.

“You’re still the same Keith I fell in love with, you’re just a lil fluffy now.” Lance spoke softly motioning towards Keith’s new purple coat.

“You’re not a monster, what happened was an accident okay? I love you. So much. Keith your gorgeous inside and out, my God you’re so beautiful. You’re the sweetest person I’ve ever met, when we were together I feel like I’m with a better version of myself. Keith you’re my best friend, you deserve the entire universe and I’m just so happy I get to share my little section of it with you everyday, I could never ask for anymore” As Lance spoke he wiped the tears that were now spilling down Keith’s face.

Thank you Lance he sniffled into the crook of the other boys neck as he listened closely for the gentle and constant rhythm of Lance’s heartbeat.

“Your m-unm --se” he mumbled.

“What was that dear?” Lance questioned.

“I said your my universe Lance” Keith smiled up at his boyfriend proudly, showing the first signs of being his normal corny self again.

That night they fell asleep in each others arms, as they had done so many before, tentatively listening to the beating of their hearts and feeling the rise and fall of each others chests as they drifted into a peaceful slumber.

They’d be okay. They had each other.