#oh bitch...... gorgeous

[just-null]

Plz… do you have any yandere clone crumbs (or headcanons even)? I love this trope lmao

YOUR CULT LEADER IS SO GLAD YOU ASKED

[LONG yandere ramblings under the cut!]

THESE ARE ALL RANDOM STREAMS OF THOUGHTS. THERE'S NO ORDER. ALSO I'M NOT A WRITER SO FORGIVE ANY ERRORS!!!

General

They're all interested in the same type of person for different reasons. So if you catch the interest of one, you'll soon catch the interest of the others.

The clones are also pathological liars like the main body.

They're scrappy unfair fighters.

They'd all have a common trait of imposing themselves into your life. Whether or not you want to see them, they'll always pop up uninvited.

That and being disgustingly clingy to the point you can barely breathe without one of them there to share your air.

Their violence varies, but rest (un)assured that it is always an option for them, yes, even Hantengu.

Even if different, sometimes it really shows that they're a single unit.. sooner or later, your hands will be full with a bunch of annoying, needy, lying, terrible, and problematic assholes. 

They're all more intense than the average human. To them, a human life is as insignificant as an ant. They'd kill someone for the hell of it, or if it's an order from Muzan. That view doesn't change much if you're in the picture.

Now it's just a matter of not scaring you too much, hence, Hantengu’s chronic lying problem. They want to be the ones you rely and lean on. to feel comfortable with! Don't mind the blood. It's not like you haven't seen it on them before!

Relax, they truly never want to hurt you!!

Hantengu

Starting off with our man of the hour, Hantengu. He's aligned with delusional and obsessive types of yanderes, one who's too afraid to approach you but watches you from afar nonetheless.

You'd have to make an effort to find him since he'd most likely be shrunk into his tiny form and hidden in some small crevice.

It started off as a simple fascination. You probably made contact with him in his human disguise (accidental or not.) As he cowered, you were pretty decent.

It was a surprising but welcoming change of pace from the usual villains who'd try to harm him, but he still fled from you. He was going to eat you no doubt, but he kept putting it off until he lost his appetite.

He's terrified you might do something to him, that you'll hurt him! but the attention you gave him makes him yearn for your company. He wants to watch you all the time and quite literally, will do just that.

Hantengu's there when you wake up and when you go to bed. He's living somewhere in your home. Always watching.

With the ability to shrink very small and run extremely fast, you'd think you might have rats in your home. Each time you think you hear a snap, the rat traps always end up broken to pieces.

He sends his clones in his stead to test the waters after getting far too worried once you leave his sight. If you don't hurt them, then he'll know you're not so bad! Still won't approach, but a bit more calm when he's "around." or when they invade your life. 

Assuming the clones never stray too far from the main body (if they're physically able to or not, doesn't really matter) they never want to leave Hantengu unprotected, which means your home is the main base.

You can move, try running away, get help, or whatever, but it's all futile because Hantengu will hide in your items meaning the others will always end up finding you with him.

it's a rule of thumb for the Hantengus not to mention him for safety reasons and because he's already terrified as is and any unwarranted attention is probably bad... He'd be horrified to be under your gaze for long, which is why he prefers you with your eyes closed.

Hantengu is like your sleep paralysis demon. At the dead of night, he peeks out from wherever he's hiding and watches you.

With demonic speed, any flinch or shuffle from you has him hiding again, but if you awaken and keep your eyes closed, you can hear faint crying and sniffling while you slumber.

If it makes you uncomfortable or ruins your sleep, Hantengu doesn't put two and two together, it can't possibly be him. What a travesty..!

It'd be difficult to try and make contact since he's always watching from the sidelines or cowering and hiding away, but it'll get easier eventually when it's drilled into him that you won't be like the people he's met.

He genuinely believes that the world is full of evil villains that may hurt you, so if he sees someone that worries him, the clones will zero in on them.

Hantengu has a dangerously powerful influence on them.. combine that with his victim complex? terrible.

Sometimes all Hantengu needs is a single seed of doubt to be implanted in his mind before he's lying to everyone and deluding himself that you're getting manipulated.

That's when his clones step in, scouting out the place for the possible source of the problem. That or pick off random people one by one before you're back in their arms!

But it's not his fault that you're surrounded by overprotective, suffocating freaks! Trust!!

The upside is if you meet him, he's extremely docile. He doesn't do much aside from cower and weep, begging you not to hurt him. Attempts to hide are futile if you tell him to stay... like a deer caught in headlights. ironic.

One of the others are probably always in the room, if not all of them, making your interactions even more awkward. 

Once Hantengu warms up to the idea of having you know about his existence, you'd mostly find him in the pockets of your clothes or in areas where your trinkets would be strewn about.

It’s highly unlikely that he’d be violent in front of you, but that doesn't mean that the others won't be, (for his and your safety they say) Hantengu just cries about things or trembles at most with every sound making him flinch, huddling behind you in some way.

Hantengu often forgets he can go to his full height, usually being the size of your foot or smaller. If he's tiny, you'll see how he's a really harmless and defenseless victim of the world!

Nevermind how you sometimes catch the scent of blood coming from your home, only to find him cowering at the scene of a crime.

Depending on your demeanor, you're either a victim like him so you MUST stick together, or you're his savior.

He feels that safety and contentment when around you, but would rather stay on the side lines than risk anything. It's as if watching you do your daily routine is his stress relief.

It's absolutely awful if you're in danger or out of his line of sight for long. No reports from one of his clones? No most recent update to your whereabouts? No one is with you to inform him!?

Full panic attacks and inconsolable babbling about how you must be dead!! The world is so cruel and awful to him!!!

These types of reactions agitate the others, making them more worried if they're also in the dark. It's possible Hantengu would use Urami to go and find you himself in these rare instances. It'd be a disaster, but at least he'd have peace of mind..

At least you don't have to worry about Hantengu being jealous though. He's pretty tame, too focused on being afraid of everything else. The others handle his jealousy for him so that he doesn't worry.

Sekido

A mixture of highly jealous and possessive type, secretly protective as well! A mean tsundere is what you usually see, if not his common form of verbal abuse if he's too worked up.

The subtle flush on his cheeks takes the edge off his words if it's directed at you even if he blames it on being red in the face with anger because of you or [x] reason.

First impressions were probably that you were extremely annoying and would suggest eating you to the others whenever a situation arose. Thankfully the others prevented that from happening.

Sekido is one out of the two who'd accidentally hurt you. He never means to, but he forgets his own strength. In the beginning, instead of trusting you to follow him, he'd grab your wrist and drag you around with him to wherever he needed to be.

You could run away when he's not looking and cause an unwanted commotion, so it's best to have you on a tight leash leading to bruising sometimes..

Out of all of them, Sekido needed the most time to warm up to you. When he'd realized he'd fallen for you, he'd already be cursing at himself for being so blind to it earlier.

It started off as moments where his irritation calmed then snowballed into a bliss he only knows if he's by your side.

You'd think he genuinely hates your guts at times. The way he gets so angry and harshly insults you can take a toll. If he senses he's cut you deep, he still won't apologize verbally.

Knowing himself, saying anything would only hurt you more, he's too rough with phrasing that it wouldn't sound genuine. How is it his fault that you're so fragile?

Sekido has too much pride, but a lot of it is in constant conflict with his love for you. It's what gets him so frustrated when thinking about it. You make him feel disgustingly mushy inside, and he wants to tear out his heart and tell it to get a grip.

He probably doesn't speak to you for a few days, instead choosing to act while you're not looking to regain favor. 

Making food you'd like, inviting you to spend time indoors, buying you small gifts, and even cleaning up around your place. Wordless actions that come off as apologies for his temper that he’ll make SURE won't go unnoticed.

If you confront him, he huffs with his back towards you as if it were nothing but takes credit for it regardless.

Sure, he's the oldest, but Sekido still has his moments of immaturity like the other three. If he had it his way, he'd refuse to let anyone speak to you, almost isolating you, so his acts of service really shine through.

What if someone tries getting your favor by taking advantage of his supposed mistakes? It's extremely insulting that anyone would even dare try! Infuriating even!

The only people he'd allow you to speak with are his clones and main body. But like everything, it depends on his mood or the situation.

Is it REALLY necessary to talk to someone else when Sekido is RIGHT THERE?? No. It's not. Now shut up and eat the sweets he got you.

Sekido doesn't do PDA, but violence will always be on the table, never hesitating if someone gets near you, or looks at you too long.

He says he's the best clone to take when going out, but he’s punched too many bystanders as a warning far too many times... You're lucky if he simply verbally abuses someone until they're crying or humiliated.

You can say the handsome man with the red eyes has grown a reputation in town.

You also gain a reputation as someone who’s EXTREMELY off limits, dangerous even. While Sekido isn't as affectionate or sweet as the others, the things he lets slide when it comes to you make it obvious that you're his favorite person.

“Are you trying to die? Even insects have more survival instincts than you.” and all you did was bump into him. Sekido dusts himself off and gives you a once over, subtly making sure you're okay before he continues with whatever he was doing.

Were it anyone else, he would’ve swung his staff at them for even getting near him.

You're given special treatment because, to Sekido, you ARE special. On rare occasions, he'll even verbalize his fondness for you, even if it's worded as if he were reprimanding.

Just don't be so blind to the hints he's throwing at you and he won't have to beat your face in.. specifically your lips with his lips, very roughly, until you're both bruised and breathless.

When Sekido needs to be away from you for whatever reason, he knows you're okay. He entrusts you to the others in his absence, but his mind starts wandering to how he misses your hands on his.. 

It's different remembering it and seeing it, if you were there, you could touch him and he could reciprocate. It'd be even better if you were both alone—and now, someone’s interrupting his thoughts.

Frustration bubbles up and he's ready to snap at someone. What could be so damn important!?

If Sekido comes back with blood on his person, just don't ask, he's already annoyed and he's seeking solace with you.

You flip a switch in him. Your warmth, your presence, your voice, it’s like serenity to his vexed soul. He sits comfortably beside you when he has to plan for something.

It helps him think clearly but, he doesn't let go of your wrist..

His grip is unnaturally tight too, so you're stuck there unless you want to risk Sekido getting frustrated again because his personified peace wants to get up and do something, at least, that's what he says.

Even if it holds some truth, when you whittle Sekido down enough, he confesses that, in a weird way, he's constantly worried for you.

You're not as strong as them and he knows this, but it's clear as day when he's calm enough.

Not that he needs to, but Sekido takes the responsibility for not only keeping himself alive, but Hantengu and more importantly you. 

If anything were to happen to you, he doesn't know what he'd do. So instead he acts as the most aggressive guard dog ever and keeps any unknown presence as far from you as possible.

Moments of peace with you don't happen often for him, so please stay a while longer? The others will barge in any minute now, so indulge him a little until then?

And don't speak a word about it to anybody or else he’ll destroy your home and everything inside it!

Karaku

Extremely self aware, obsessive type. He knows how to properly court someone, that everything they're doing crosses many lines, but this way is much more entertaining.

You were just another random face in the beginning that he just shrugs and tries to find enjoyment in by tormenting, but as he interacts more with you, he finds it more invigorating than anything else.

He starts going easier on you, opting for just teasing. Dragging you into spending time with him is surprisingly more fun than a battle lately..

Whether you like him back or not isn't even important. As long as you have SOME level of affection for him and don't forget to give him some attention, he's satisfied.

Everything is fun when it comes to you and while he'd IDEALLY like you to reciprocate his feelings and be obsessed with him, he just needs an inch for the mile he'll take!

It's not like he will actively make you hate him, but he'll definitely try coaxing you into things you might not be eager for.

I doubt there's much that can upset him in general, much less if it's you. You're so attractive and entertaining to him, all your reprimands and insults go in one ear and out the other.

He laughs and agrees to whatever you said, brushing it off, then tries nudging you into moving on and doing something that doesn't upset you! Like doing him!

O-or.. if you're not in the mood right now, that's fine. There's a bunch of other fun stuff that you two can do!

With all that, Karaku's still aware that you'd be uncomfortable with him shoving all his affection onto you, getting possessive, and even beating some people up for the hell of it.

But he also knows people can learn to get used to things they can't escape and get desensitized, so he attempts to do just that and ease you into your new life!

He's still affectionate, it's Karaku! He doesn't force you into anything too intimate. Physical touch may be his go-to, but holding you and hugging you is the most he'd do unless he gets hints that he may be allowed to do more.

Out of everyone, he's the most relaxed, which isn't saying much. If you say you're going somewhere he hears we’re going somewhere, but at least you can go near strangers without him hurting anyone.

When spending time with the others, he knows he can just butt in, or do something that'll force your attention on him. Even if people try talking to you, he's not upset, just amused.

Very confident Karaku is.. any attempt someone tries with you is hilarious to him since he knows you're likely to reject them. He only gets slightly miffed if YOU'RE the one coming onto others.

“Oi~ You're really greedy, you have all of me and yet you still want other's attention? ..How about you try convincing me a little and I won't make that much of a fuss, yeah?” as if he's not always trying to hold you in the most PDA way possible… 

Karaku loves to show off how he's taken even if it makes you embarrassed. You're cute when flustered anyway so that's just another plus!

When you're gone he's sooo~ bored. It reminds him of that itch he had before he met you where life was too dull and he needed that stimulation only chaos could provide.

Unfortunately, chaos is like a storm, and the clouds dissipate eventually. So what does he do? Create his own storms, of course!

Karaku is a renowned pleasure seeker, sexual or not. Since he met you, the sexual part is reserved, so he's usually seeking fun in terms of mischief, adrenaline rushes, or destruction. 

Starting problems on purpose by provoking others to the point of a fight is his favorite especially if he can blow down buildings.

Some dishonorable mentions that aren't fighting are planting gross items into bags, spreading rumors, giving false information, and turning people against one another.

Overall things that would make you regret letting him out of your sight.

Karaku likes to make himself more appealing to you by boasting about small things. It could be the bare minimum, but you wouldn't know if he's exaggerating any tiny details!

Hearing your tastes and interests will have him leaning into that, but he's not going to change himself completely.

He's confident he can worm his way into your heart by being himself.

You should give him praise sometime! He didn't tease Sekido and make him so upset he blew a fuse. And! He didn't toy with anyone’s life before killing them this time! He also only used his uchiwa twice. max. and no buildings collapsed completely..

See? He's not that bad of a guy! You should trust him more, you'll hurt his feelings..!

He's the one who will also flirt with you the most, leaving lingering touches and casually inviting you for some bedroom fun. You could be in the middle of dinner and he'd ask if you're up for it later as if it's a casual thing between you two.

This guy.. he really REALLY likes you touching him.. from his hair to his arms, to his chest, and down his legs, whatever you want is yours. But it also makes him more reserved in a way? 

Someone tapping his shoulder gets him a little miffed. It's like someone is touching something of yours. Whatever, getting your hands all over him should fix that right up.

Karaku is an interesting case.. He portrays himself as an open book, but there's so much more than he lets on.

He makes mental notes of things you like and strictly hate, secretly helps balance everyone’s jealousy so you don't get burnt out, always there when you need him most, and is second to tend to you if Aizetsu isn't around.

Serious situations aren't his style, he’ll always try to be playful to lighten the mood, but you can see his ear twitch when he notices something’s wrong.

He's the second oldest after all, so he has the capability to be mature if he wants to.

But being a stick in the mud is Sekido’s job, so he works around it in his own pleasurable way!

There’s times even when he likes to take things slow and enjoy the moment with you around. Pleasure can be relaxation. While he loves being out and about, a nice quiet evening with you can be fun too.. even if he has to push you around a little too make it happen.

He likes how you make him feel whole, like he's not chasing after the unattainable satisfaction that's so close but so far.

Urogi

Intoxicated delusional type... Urogi believes you wouldn't do anything to hurt him on purpose and finds joy in your “shyness.” If you were to reject him or push him away, he laughs very loudly, “reassuring” you.

First impressions were pretty tense. He'd eye you like he's waiting for you to step wrong before feasting. Like those fangs suggest, he's a humanity's predator first and foremost and he wanted to keep it that way.

At least, he thought so until he played with his food too much and got attached. 

You later begin to be like a drug to him. He NEEDS you. Whether it be within earshot, field of vision, or (preferably) within arm's reach. If not, he gets super fidgety, nervous, restless. Can't sit still.

Similar to Hantengu except he begins getting impulsive and violent with anything or anyone around the longer you're away.

Usually, he thinks twice about slicing anything with his talons when you're around, he's too happy with your attention and knows you're pretty squishy! But if you're gone, the blood splatters make him feel better!

He misses you! Come back!! There are scratches and tossed furniture everywhere because Urogi attempted to calm himself with things that smell like you. Everything's just a mess, but he at least greets you the second you get home.

Cuddly and excitable! He'd tackle you in a hug and swing you around, or cling to you with his full body until you both tip over. Urogi likes your scent and warmth.

It's comforting, so he's constantly near you and touching you, sometimes fighting with the others cause he wants his turn.

Similar to Sekido, you're like a switch that flips to excited when you make contact of any kind, so it's not uncommon to find him clamoring to sit on your lap or lay his head somewhere on you when he sees you.

Again, like Sekido, Urogi can get jealous to the same levels as him. However, whereas Sekido would be violent and aggressive, Urogi is whiny and clingy. 

It's almost funny how he’s the one whose mood shifts the quickest. Even compared to Aizetsu, he's more likely to cry, or compared to Sekido, he'd lash out about something small.

But as his main emotion states, he'll always revert back to his gleeful self.

One second, he's complaining because you've been “ignoring” him for too long [three minutes] but cheers up if you so much as graze his skin, “Hahaha!! Okay, I forgive you!! Can we go out now? Oh! Oh! How about a kiss?!”

Joy may be better than when Urogi's upset, but it's still... pretty shameless like Karaku, except Urogi doesn't WANT to embarrass you on purpose.

He's got a loud voice and a one-track mind with you. Begging and asking isn't out of the realm of possibility for him either.

Something you can count on with these four is that they're honest in their feelings for you.

Urogi, being the one who's extremely raw in showing it, talks from the heart with no brain. What you see is what you get. Most of the time...

Urogi, like the others, has his moments of dishonesty, but it’s not his fault! He wants your love constantly so bends the truth about needing you in some type of way or that he was bullied!!!

He has a headache, take care of him! Oh, his left wing hurts, pet it for him, please? His feathers have been really bothering him lately, preen him? Yes, you did so yesterday, but they're bothering him again!! Also, Sekido was really mean for no reason again, stay with him so he doesn't get yelled at again!!

With how much he thrives under your attention, you'd wonder how he reacts with people who aren't you. Well, it's simple, if its not a fight, he leads back to you!

If someone ever talks to Urogi long enough there's a 90% chance he'll mention “someone” and ignore whatever they say.

When you're not the subject of the convo, he brings you up, interrupting the other's train of thought. Annoyingly so.. 

It gets particularly messy if he's conversing with the other three because then they'd forget about the original topic and get swept up with missing you instead.

Even the hobbies he has that aren't you, remind him of you.. in albeit concerning ways..

He likes to eat fleshy meat, but he gets reminded of how your skin feels under his hands. It'd be more flattering if he wasn't literally ripping the flesh off of something with his fangs, but he means well.

Sharing things he likes is a sign of love, right? That's why he brings you gifts! ..Like a cat bringing its owner dead mice except this cat is five foot nine and way more dangerous..

and the dead mice are limbs that can get you arrested............

It's terrifying to wake up to a mysterious blob of red meat, especially when Urogi says “It's the only thing that kinda resembles what it used to be!” but laughs in your face instead of explaining further.

A tongue was probably the most concerning thing that still had its original shape, but not surprising.

Urogi is unfortunately way too damn strong. He's the second one to accidentally hurt you after Sekido, his talons are extremely sharp and sometimes dig into you when he gets too excited. He tries not to, but even passing by he can nick you. 

Bandages are difficult for him to grab with his talons, and he feels terrible afterward, so he licks your wounds clean if you let him. Sure, it won't do much, but at least your blood smells delicious, and it makes him happy tasting it! 

Right, this isn't about him, right! 

There's something almost innocent about how Urogi acts with you. Even if you hate his guts, he’d still treat you like treasure. He can't bring himself to hate you no matter what you do.

He’ll get annoyed at times when you're too “coy,” sure, but never more than that or for long. 

He can be a handful, but you can tell he tries to give you a good happy relationship. One that he hopes makes you feel the same unending joy he feels even if it's a bit traumatic.

Aizetsu

Manipulative and stalking type. Aizetsu wants to get tasks over with as fast as possible. he doesn't have any motivation for it. He's tired and sad and wants to curl up into a ball and lay down.

First time meeting, Aizetsu didn't even spare you a glance. If you weren't food or a threat, then you might as well have been a poor wall or weird tree.

Giving him a taste of pampering is probably what slowly melted his cold walls.

Now that he has you, it's strange. He WANTS to get up and do things with you. The weight on his shoulders isn't as heavy when you're around. He wants to keep you near him always and if he has to be pathetic to do that, then he'll do it.

Sending cute sad glances your way, sighing after each word as if its tiring to breathe, constantly leaning or holding onto your clothes, whatever makes him look like he'd die without you is what he'll do. 

Aizetsu is more than capable like the other three if not the most. it's just that he doesn't need to do it, so he doesn't want to.

He purposely makes himself out like he's the “good” one, but he's just quieter. Unlike Karaku's boasting, Aizetsu wants you to see the worst in others so it makes himself look better by comparison.

Making others or himself seem pathetic is his strong suit, sometimes making his counterparts the brunt of that pity.

That or he takes a page out of Karaku's handbook and stirs the pot so they do the job for him. Sometimes they involve Aizetsu if they find out which makes him sad...

He pouts, looking at his counterparts fighting, and tells you how it's such a pity you're stuck with a rowdy bunch like them while knowing full well that he muttered something under his breath about Karaku mocking Sekido to make Urogi laugh while passing by.

It didn't happen, but it could've... it's okay, just stay with Aizetsu on the sidelines while they tucker themselves out.

Speaking of that, Aizetsu seldom lets you go. Like the others, he loves touching you, but the others let go eventually from some form of hyperactivity.

Aizetsu.. doesn't. His hand is always firmly grasping some part of your clothes while you walk, but if you're not using your arm, he'll hold that for you too.

You can try shaking him off, but it really wouldn't do anything except make him frown and grip tighter. You could ditch your clothes, it'll stun him for a moment until he's pouting again, but he’ll let you go.

Unfortunately you probably won't get your discarded clothes back for a while even if you apologize.

That and he’ll cling on again in five minutes if he's near. It's a force of habit.

Aizetsu's the strongest physically of the four, but tries his best to seem weak around you so you can spoil and love him more.

The second you leave him to figure out his own issues, you usually hear a loud thump then crack followed by Aizetsu's soft footsteps rushing to follow behind you.

Even with his crazy strength, he's the second least likely to spill blood.

Not because he's guilty or anything, don't be silly, but because he doesn't want to put effort into cleaning himself up, so you'll embrace him again. If you didn't care, then he'd be a bit messier.

Then again, he doesn't like how the dried blood feels in his hair, and he doubts he can get away with making you wash it for him every time.

Aizetsu is constantly upset, but he's not openly emotional aside from his usual declarations of sorrow. He doesn't cry easily, being in a constant state of sadness makes everything numb at some point, so it's something he expresses privately..

or, to persuade you into feeling bad for him further.

“Pitying others is only natural, but don't forget you have someone waiting for you always. I'd wither away without you.” He says that, but the others never see him waiting for anything when you're out.. Why? Because he never leaves you.

Sometimes you think you see a blue reflection from the corner of your eyes, but you check and nothing. Feeling like you're watched has been a constant lately since meeting the clones. Hopefully, it's just nerves.

But it's not!

Behind wall corners, in the shadows, amongst crowds, in closets, Aizetsu's always there. Watching with that same sorrowful pout. As mentioned earlier, he doesn't feel demotivated when doing things for you.

He's making sure you're safe and gathering more information. He wants to be precise when around you. How are you when you think they're not around? He'll find out. He always does.

Not that you notice much... He doesn't throw tantrums when you need to part from him like the others, only simple, “Really? Where are you going..?” and that's all for protesting. He's the “good one,” remember? He won't stop you.

Aizetsu gets a little sloppy with hiding his hobby(?) when he doesn't react to the new things and stories you intended to tell him. As if listening to a story again.

He's lucky he doesn't speak much or he would've filled in the details of the story you forgot about.

The downside of following you is that Aizetsu gets approached sometimes. Annoying... He's so gloomy, that he's sometimes approached by kind bystanders to check up on him. 

He doesn't speak to anyone as much anymore, only responding with nods and head shakes unless he's pitying someone. He's only “chatty” with you and his clones, more so you.

A tired look crosses his face when someone's being particularly bothersome. Say, the authorities or an insistent stranger for example. 

If you were with him, he'd look at you to fix it, but since you're not, he'll handle it himself. i.e. a precise swift jab to the throat that'll get them to keel over long enough for him to scamper somewhere else.

Zohakuten

Conflicting love hating attention seeker.. He can't help but hate how your mere presence makes the others and himself worse versions of themselves, but he can see why. Having your attention is like basking in the warmth of the sun again.. 

He rarely shows up, only when the four are panicked and desperate, but the first time is probably extremely tense........ he'd reprimand you for screwing up the minds of his clones and scaring the main body constantly.

He doesn't separate, wanting to see what the big deal is. Having Zohakuten follow you around or dragging you places while getting insulted, you're mostly babysitting him at this point.

He may not be a child in the usual sense, but he definitely uses his appearance to benefit himself. Big eyes, grumpy frown with his chubby cheeks and that usually gets people to believe him if he's lucky.

It's whiplash inducing when Zohakuten's face and way of speaking don't match (it's easy to forget that all these freaks have the mentality of an over two hundred year old man.) He uses an older way of speaking and their inflections.

He's not free from the common ground that is wanting your attention even if he's almost always complaining that you're the source of their corruption. yet he still doesn't try getting rid of you aside from a couple insults. Though it can get annoying when he's constantly on your case.

Zohakuten is extremely defensive of the main body. Hesitating when it comes to him isn't a problem. He's like Sekido where he punches as a warning in that sense.

He's very kind with Hantengu, and surprisingly you who now falls under the category of needing protection.

Hatred is part of his nature so if you're alone with him, that hatred focuses on you, but it's mixed with affection. He only really huffs at you and occasionally tries swatting you when you get too affectionate.

He's critical of his older clone counterparts. 

If there were a setting where Zohakuten coexisted with his them , he'd be very antagonistic even if it's to a lesser degree than opponents. He's going against them then complaining to you about it so you can be careful of their misdeeds!

He sees their actions as the main reason Hantengu gets bullied and falsely persecuted. they fool around too much instead of doing their job properly that it grinds Zohakuten's gears..

He'd probably call Karaku and Urogi manwhores for showing off so much skin. Sekido and Aizetsu are on thin ice but they'd still get called harlots for wearing their collars so open.

You're probably not free from his berating either but he excludes the derogatory insults.

Similar to Tanjiro in that one scene with Mitsuri, Zohakuten would grab your clothes and adjust it to be more modest. He can't have animals like those pigs looking at you!!!

That being said, Zohakuten is much more manageable compared to dealing with four smothering men.

Still.. he's less likely to listen to you and has a short fuse that can cause problems out of nothing. Plus, he's much MUCH stronger than what you'd be used to.

Luckily, there's moments when he tuckers himself out and he's quietly following you like a cat. He doesn't speak much then but glares at anything and anyone who gets too close.

He might look pettable, but don't do it or he might both claw at you and get a second wind.

It's best to stay alone with Zohakuten for as long as he's around. If someone else makes him or Hantengu upset, he'd focus his hatred into them and make up some deluded reason as to why they have to die.

They'll harm Hantengu first if they're allowed to live!! It'll be swift, but he can't promise it'll be clean.

It's pretty easy to get Zohakuten to get violent. it only really takes someone getting close to you or Hantengu until he's acting faster than you noticed he moved.

He doesn't really care if you get scared, it's all for the greater good. you're just spooked because his methods were taboo, but it's fine. Now all of you are safe..

He really likes trees and forests, so taking walks around there might be the safest bet.

Zohakuten wouldn't be as cuddly, more so because of some pride of holding himself up as the strongest pillar for Hantengu, but there are moments where he sighs and leans his head against you.

Being alone with you, Hantengu, and the peace of nature puts his mind at ease in a way it's not built for. Even his wood dragons come along, bellowing quietly and making the whole environment uncommonly calm. like he's almost a normal kid.

Serenity isn't forever of course and you must part from him eventually. It's not like he'll make it easy by any means though. His brattiness shines through here where he hides some essentials of yours that make it impossible for you to leave.

Your shoes, outdoor clothes, utilities, anything that'll make your life more difficult so you'll stay home. Yes, he knows you have a life outside, but he doesn't like it when you come home smelling different. It's concerning!

If you somehow manage to escape, you'll only see his hateful eyes from his safe spot in the darkness. Throughout the day, the occasional concern chill creeps up, and coming home reveals why.

It's a disaster. Everything is trashed and turned over in what looks to be a tornado hit. Except the tornado was just a small tyrant sulking in your bedroom. The tantrum didn't comfort him at all and all he wants is you.

When you come back, he's berating you and calling you the worst person imaginable! He grabs your arms tightly then nearly crushes your ribs in a hug.

He doesn't apologize, but helps clean up after he's done, wanting to spend time with you. It wasn't the same without you and he loathes how the difference is so tangible now.

It's unfair how he's tasked to protect you too, but now that he's met you, there's specific conditions that need to be met to be allowed to see you again. He's not here for long and people around you get to meet you whenever they'd like. it's really not fair!

Maybe after a while, Zohakuten would learn not to act first if you PROMISED to keep your interactions with others to a minimum.

Even If you don't, he'll remind you by cutting your conversation or starting an argument that'll quickly get lethal if not stopped in time.

The way this guy swears like a sailor is incredible. Very foul mouthed. He talks bad about people, even sometimes to their face. It's also painfully accurate. Zohakuten can really cut deep with his words alone.. even be problematic

so fingers crossed he doesn't slight the wrong person.

While he doesn't really need to, he tries getting you small trinkets to keep so he's with you when he's separated.

All stolen of course, or so the woman from the market says, but it's not true! he made it himself, what kind of person would spread lies like that?!

Note: Zohakuten is a platonic yandere. Like the boyfriend's bratty younger brother who likes you so he cock blocks everyone to hang out with you trope

You can try asking for help, but people have seen what they're like without you.. they're like a blender without a cap. The contents will go everywhere, and it'll be chaos. UNLESS, the blender has its cap, you.

With a heavy heart, people usually give you sympathetic glances if you ever do interact briefly and quick words of comfort if they can. at least you're well taken care of by those freaks.

i love them all theyre awful.....

Tl;Dr

Hantengu is delusional and obsessed, where he thinks you'll harm him if he gets too close, but can't stay away from you for long or else he freaks himself out Sekido is the jealous possessive mother fucker who's very rude but surprisingly gives you extremely special treatment. Karaku is the obsessed self aware one, but that's wasted because he loves causing problems on purpose and embarrassing you with love. Urogi is the Intoxicated delusional one because you gotta be delusional to be as happy as this guy.. also animalistic. Too raw about his feelings........ Aizetsu is the manipulative stalker. He acts like he's the good boy when he's just as shit as the others who also somehow knows everything about you. Zohakuten is the love-hate attention seeker. it infuriates him how you "wont leave his main body alone," but he secretly thrives on your attention and will cock block at every point and time.

[introspectivememories]

at the center of gotham, lies its oldest public hospital — gotham general. it’s staff are kind and compassionate, if a little intolerant of bullshit. the city may not care about the crimes that occur in it but the people certainly do. gotham’s emergency services are renowned throughout the nation as one of the best. 

the ER nurses at gotham general love to gossip and their latest is about how their ever-reliable EMT bernard dowd, who'll rush into burning buildings if he thinks he can save one more person, who smiles so brightly and brings them cupcakes on his days off but has such sad eyes, seems so lonely. they determinedly decide to find a date for him. maybe dr. zacharia thomas, their latest trauma surgeon? yes, yes! he's only a few years older, bernard knows him, they get along, and most importantly, he's got a stable job. he'll be perfect for their bernard!

and then, literally only days after they decide to set up dr. zacharia and bernard on a date, head trauma nurse marissa santos comes running in with a copy of gotham daily, clutched in her hand.

"look! look! nakita mo ba ang balita?" she whisper-yells, "did you see the news?!"

instantly they're all crowding around her, trying to see the paper. covering the front page is a blurry photo of a black-haired man engaged in a passionate game of tonsil-hockey with someone who is unmistakably their youngest EMT. he's still wearing his uniform for christ's sake! in the largest font known to man, "WAYNE'S NEW PARAMOUR?" is written at the top.

"he's dating the wayne ceo!" marissa gushes excitedly.

"isn't he a little too old for bernard?" someone pipes up from the back.

"not the father, you idiot! the son! timothy!"

that's way better than their candidate. everyone is stoked. by nightfall, everyone in the ER knows that bernard dowd is dating timothy drake-wayne, the youngest ceo wayne enterprises has ever had.

when bear stops by, at around 2 in the morning, dropping of the last patient from his shift, he's immediately accosted by the nurses.

"whoa! hey!" he exclaims as they lead him to the nurse's station and sit him down in a chair, "what's going on?"

marissa slams the paper down in front of him, "spill."

bernard groans and turns cherry red, "oh my god tita. don't you guys have patients to attend to?"

"already taken care of." nurse gu says.

"what about mr. gomez, the one with third degree burns that just came in?" bernard tries desperately.

"dr. zacharia is already on it." dr. esperanza responds, "so spill."

their youngest tries one last time, "how do you even know if that's me?"

"there are like 10 blonde people in the EMT department and considering all of them are older than you and none of them seem to have the three ear piercings that kid in this picture does, we're gonna have to assume it's you." dr. farah nasim, one half of the head of the ER, says.

bernard turns on her with a betrayed look.

"sorry kid," she snorts, "also, you're still wearing your uniform in the photo. it says 'dowd' on the shoulder."

"im too old to be bossed around like this." he mutters before sighing, "alright what'd'ya want to know?"

"tell us everything!" marissa says, "how did you two meet?"

"we were friends in high school and we fell out of touch after junior year. he hit me up on insta 6 months ago and we reconnected."

"oh my god!! they're high school sweethearts!" nurse gu squeals, "that's so cute!"

"tell us more! who asked who out?"

"okay well, technically he asked me out but he didn't know he was asking me out. but we went on this date at this restaurant and it got attacked by some villain and red robin, but he was going by robin at the time, rescued. so i told robin, 'hey if i make it out of this, tell tim drake, i would've liked to finish our date'. and then, tim, shows up at my door the next day and says 'i don't know what this feeling i get when i'm near you is, but i'd like to find out'. and the rest is history."

"bernard, what the hell?" dr. esperanza says shocked, "that's the most rom-com-esque story i've ever heard."

"what?" bernard blushes, "no it's not."

"bear," esperanza says slowly, "he showed up at your door and said 'i don't know what this feeling i get when i'm near you is, but i want to find out.' that is something straight out of the notebook."

"no, no! he's such a dork!" bernard assures them frantically, "he does this thing, when he laughs too hard, he snorts and it sets him off again and it just keeps going. and you should've seen him in high school, the biggest skater boy to ever exist. he's teaching me..."

and bernard goes on and on for the next 15 minutes, trailing off only when he notices them all smiling at him.

"what?" he says shyly.

"you're in love with him, aren't you?" dr. farah says.

bernard chokes, "what?! no! ...maybe?"

everyone shares a look between each other. marissa steps forward, "well on behalf of the gotham general ER staff, i can assure you, we all approve."

"thank you?"

"bring him around sometime!" nurse gu says, "we'd all like to meet him."

"why? so you can give him the shovel talk?"

"of course!" dr. farah says, smiling widely, "he’s dating our youngest! we have to threaten him!"

bernard's voice is suspiciously wet when says a few moments later, "thanks guys."

and so on it goes for the next few months until marissa comes back after her break, deathly pale. everyone worries but she refuses to tell anyone what's wrong. and then a few weeks later, nurse gu goes on his break and comes back shocked. and then a month later, dr. zacharia comes back from a quick step outside, lips sealed shut.

and on it goes until there is one glaring truth the gotham general ER night staff cannot ignore:

bernard dowd is dating red robin. open relationship or cheating, to be determined.

a year after the news about tim drake and bernard had been released, and half a year after the, what the staff has taken to calling it, Red Robin Scandal™ began, dr. farah calls a night staff meeting.

the staff meeting is boring as usual until the end when dr. farah opens the conversation to the staff to voice their concerns.

"are we going to talk about the elephant in the room?" dr. esperanza asks.

"i think bernard might be cheating on his boyfriend!" marissa blurts out before slapping her hands over her mouth, horrified.

“oh thank god.” esperanza sighs.

"wait you saw them too?" nurse gu asks.

"in the narrow walkway," dr. zacharia starts.

"between the ER and jacobson building." dr. esperanza finishes.

"exactly!" marissa says.

"i caught them in the parking lot once." dr. farah admits, mouth pressed into a grim line, "they were pressed up against the fence in the back — y'know where the light doesn't shine? — kissing each other like they'd just come back from world war 2."

"ay, how could that boy be so stupid?" marissa sighs, "getting caught up with a vigilante?"

"maybe it's like polyamory?" esperanza says, ever hopeful.

"whatever it is," farah says, "he should know better than to get involved with those people. we have to talk to him."

they pull bernard into an unused conference room, just the 5 of them, 3 weeks later.

"hey, hey!" bernard exclaims as they shove him into a chair, "what's going on?"

nobody speaks.

"guys?"

"are you cheating on tim drake?"

"what?"

"are you cheating on tim drake?" marissa repeats.

"no! why would you think that?"

"everyone on the night staff has caught you kissing red robin at least once. wanna try that again?" farah says.

bernard sighs, "is that what this is about? doc, i swear to god, i'm not cheating on tim."

"so he knows?" zacharia asks.

"yes zach, tim knows about me and red robin."

"and he's okay with it?"

"yes. tim doesn't mind me dating both of them." bernard says, a smile playing on his lips.

nobody speaks for a while.

"so..." bernard breaks the silence first, "are we good here? do you approve?"

"no." esperanza says, "we don't approve."

"what?"

"he's no good for you." nurse gu says.

"you don't even know him." bernard says incredulously.

"oh and you do?" zacharia says scathingly, "he's a vigilante bear. how much do you really know?"

"more than you zach!"

pleadingly bernard turns toward farah, "c'mon doc, you don't agree do you?"

"you know, when you first started dating tim drake, i had my reservations. rich people and all that. but i figured with all that money, if you ever got roped into rich people problems, tim's money would help out. you'd be taken care of and he clearly loves you, so i didn't mind too much."

"but this..." farah trails off, "i can't accept this."

turning towards marissa, "tita, please."

"don't do that, bear. wag kang tanga. it's not good to be with him."

"he loves me! is that not enough?" bernard near-yells, "i thought that's what you wanted. someone who loves me!"

"enough to quit being a vigilante?" esperanza asks.

"quit being a vigilante? are you guys hearing yourself?" bernard asks angrily, "he saves the city on a near-nightly basis and you want me to ask him to give it all up because what? he's dating me?"

"so let him save the city without you." nurse gu says, "why does he need to drag you into it?"

"he's not dragging me into anything! i am a full consenting adult! i chose him! what’s so different about what he and i do anyway?"

“well for one, our job is legal. and two, there are safety measures put in place so that you don’t get hurt. so that your coworkers don’t get hurt. your man walks into the joker’s lair with an inch of kevlar and a prayer on his lips.” zacharia says.

nurse gu sighs, "look. nobody here is mad at him for saving the city. everyone here knows somebody who has been saved by the bats. but the deal is that they save the city and they don't drag anybody else into it."

"the bats, whoever they are? they chose that life. for whatever reason, they chose that life and all the dangers that go with it. you’re not stupid bear, don’t get involved with whatever he has going on. pick literally anyone else.” farah says.

“you need a third person that badly? take zach! the ER was planning on setting you up with him before we found out about tim, anyway.”

“what?” zacharia says, rounding on nurse gu.

“you know what?” bernard says, pinching the bridge of his nose tiredly, “ i don’t have to explain myself to you guys.”

“you can’t marry him.” marissa says.

“who said anything about marriage? i’m 22!”

“you clearly love tim. you two seem like you’re going to last a while and if you love red robin they way you love tim, them somewhere along those years of being together then you’re going to start thinking of marriage. what then? how are you going to explain red robin to the people you love?”

“we’ll cross that bridge when we get there.”

“look, bernard,” farah says gently, “we’re not doing this cause we don’t want you to be happy. you mean a lot to me, i think of you as my son. we just-”

“you’re not my mom.” bernard snaps out, “you’re not my mom, you’re not my aunt, my uncle, my brother. you guys aren’t anything to me!”

he turns and walks away.

“farah do something.” marissa hisses.

“let him go. he said he’s an adult right? then let him make his choices.”

“but,” she says, raising her voice so bernard can hear her, “if anything goes wrong, and i mean anything at all, i hope he knows that adults don’t have to do everything by themselves. that they can ask people for help.”

bernard’s hands still on the doorknob. “thank you.” he says voice rough, “nothing will happen, but thank you for the offer.” and he walks out the door.

bernard dowd, is 22 year old EMT that has too much heart and not enough brain. he’ll rush into burning buildings if he thinks he has even a minute chance of saving someone. he’s kind and he’s sweet and more importantly, he’s dating timothy drake-wayne, ceo of wayne enterprises.

if you ask the ER night staff at gotham general, after a lot of prodding, they might tell you that bernard dowd was one of the youngest EMTs to ever join the gotham county emergency medical services. they might tell you that bernard dowd has been wondering if he should become an AEMT or a paramedic. they might tell you that as the major receiver for all patients, bernard saw them all the time and imprinted on them like a baby duck. and if you’re really close they might, tell you the ER’s biggest secret: bernard dowd is dating both timothy drake-wayne and red robin. or they might just let you walk in on them making out behind the ER. whatever comes first really.

(if you get close enough to a certain group of people on the ER night staff, they’ll tell you that bernard dowd has two hands and he uses them to hold onto his boyfriends. 

they’ll tell you that tim drake is a nice boy and they’re a little worried about their bernard fitting into the circles a wayne walks in, but he’s a nice boy who clearly loves bernard, so they’re not too worried.

they’ll tell you that that red robin character is no good for their bernard and has no business getting so close to their youngest. that red robin is going to get bernard into trouble one day, the kind of trouble that you don’t come back from.

and if you get really close to them, they’ll tell you over lunch breaks and muttered whispers, that both boys are going to break their youngest’s heart. and that if they had to pick, red robin will do it first. that their bernard loves a little too deeply and that they're worried that it’ll break bernard.

but they’re not too worried, they say. because bernard has them and if that bastard red robin breaks his heart, then they’ll pick up the pieces, they’ll sew him back together if they have to. after all, bernard stitches up half of gotham every night, this is the least they could do.)

[aq2003]

i was the target demographic of "fan who would hate this season the most". my critrole tastes were specifically aligned and designed in a lab to hate nearly every single creative decision and change that was made

[kuromi-hoemie]

omg (⁠｡⁠ﾉ⁠ω⁠＼⁠｡⁠) i got gassed up so hard omw to the coffee shop i froze like

wardrobe upgrade has been going great so far, ppl don't even wait for me to initiate conversation they are coming up to Me excited about my fit. tysm for the peer review there is more to come

[fadeintolight]

.

[phoenixiancrystallist]

DO YOU WANNA SEE MY FAVORITE PICTURE MY PROMPTO HAS EVER TAKEN?!?!?!? :D

Of course you do! HERE IT IS

Isn't it magnificent?! :D

[owainbradys]

They... gave the Levin Sword to FELIX? The disrespect........

[bleuberrygliscor]

pikmin 4 was made with so much fucking love in it.

i WANT developers to take LONGER to create their art and be paid MORE to work LESS hours and i am NOT FUCKING JOKING.

[rainbowgothdisaster]

just to make you guys appreciate tumblr more, facebook has one maybe two posts by your friends and then its just ads and sponsored. im not kidding. there is nothing after that. dead ass. you can have a repost by your bestie and then maybe someone's baby or date pics if youre lucky and then its just infinite capitalism.

[badass-bitch-polls]

alright so

i made no progress on the bracket last night

because instead i impulsively decided to watch arcane

AND IT'S SO FREAKING GOOD LIKE WHAT???!!?

i binged the first five episodes, which, as a non-binger, is quite a lot. and, well, im obsessed

be proud guys. you gave me a new brainrot. and new blorbos.

(also if jinx killed me i would thank her)

[minhosimthings]

Me: Living peacefully

"None of my Buisness" Chaeryoung: Exists

Me:

Literally everyone around me:

[decaying-vampire]

fuck holy shit women stop being perfectly imperfect for one second challenge. Like oh my god what is UP. Oh my god like fuck I love women. shit shit shit. it's so gay at this point it's so gay.

[libraryofzeglyth]

tweet by vjennies_ | posted july 12, 2023

tweet by jnkrosies | posted july 12, 2023

[alistairian]

Can I just..

My partner is fucking jacked now and its insane?? Like he "started T" (stopped estrogen) about a year ago and has been working a lot outdoors and in a greenhouse and now has the kind of strongman physique that makes gay men melt, the stache and the buzzcut and the tattoos and the big ass and big calves and arms that are wider than my head and the doc martins and carhart overalls and sleeveless tank tops like goddamn this man has it all?!

[gothsuguru]

@spookuna @teddybeartoji @storiesoflilies @twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat

versus

[fingertipsmp3]

Okay I don’t know how this is going to work exactly but I’m not reading book synopses anymore, I’ve just decided