#oh and yall cannot trigger tag shit for the life of you

[cherrycokedup]

mouthwashing fandom they could never make me like you

[dank-hp--memes]

Storytime

Hello to all of my beautiful and kind followers, I know I have been rather inactive for a while. I have been lacking inspiration to continue my writing, art, and science related posts. But I have been thinking about this thing I went through a few years ago and I just need to put it out into the world because maybe my story will help someone else who has experienced something similar not feel so alone. I am also going to put a trigger warning here because I suppose this could b potentially triggering to some people.

Also, I am not sure I will keep this post up, because I am so afraid to share this story.

--Trigger Warning--

So this was around 2 years ago, I was like 15/16. I was really really into American revolution history and shows. I watched Turn:Washington's spies, and I listened to so much Hamilton. I also had begun writing a fan fic about an OC I wrote into the time. I had started an Instagram page and posted about history. At some point, I had labeled my character to be a fictional lover of Lafayette. I ended up in this role play community, no not like BDSM role play, like storytelling esque. I dedicated my insta page to my OC and role-playing with someone from a Lafayette page. I had never disclosed my age, only stating that I was a minor early on. This person was well over 20, they were 29 I believe. They were obsessive about me replying and if I didn't reply right away they would get upset. This person was a woman. I am not tagging them or naming them, not that I believe I even know their real name. I got rather depressed. Sure I was enjoying playing out these story scenarios with groups and even getting to know some of the people who were actually nice. Not that I message any of them anymore. But slowly, the person who was my Lafayette became so much more controlling. They used to have more personal posts up like way back in their insta feed and those were suddenly gone and they were claiming to be this Lafayette reenactor. I knew the truth, but for some stupid reason I played along in private, never in a group setting though. Oh to be young and naive...

It became too much when I got a message from someone, who I will call George, who told me that this person was claiming I was their wife, this scared the shit out of me. George, who I believed to be someone around my age, told me that this person had been messaging younger girls claiming to be a semi-famous Lafayette reenactor, and that they were planning a meet up with these girls around my age (so minors). Now, after over a year of being manipulated emotionally by this person through the internet, I was done. I knew from the beginning they were a liar and that they were crazy. Why I didn't cut them off sooner I cannot explain. Actually I can, I thought of them as a friend... and they said they would kill themselves when I had previously expressed that I wanted to leave. (Can anybody say "red flags"?) I thought I needed them in my life and I did not want to have their blood on my hands. To continue, George and I ended up getting into contact with the real Lafayette reenactor via Email. The real reenactor made a post on Twitter about them never using Instagram and that this person was a fake. I posted this on my page and got messages from the toxic person begging me to take the email screenshot and the tweet screenshot down. They threatened to kill themselves and sent me videos of like a dark screen and it was just them crying. I did not take the posts down, but I did end up deleting the whole insta account after that person just would not stop trying to contact me. Even going to far as to find my personal socials and trying to follow me. I should have informed the cops then and there. I was 16 and afraid I would get in trouble. And thats where it ended. That person is still alive and still active on their little Lafayette socials. So please, everyone be smarter than me.

I know there are loads of people who have experienced things like this, and I just hope that me sharing somehow helps you feel less alone. And I hope that it helps other people understand why many of us are very very cautious and don't open up, especially minors and young adults. Also to all of the more adulty adults who have been doing the adulting for a while, please remember that if you hand young adult or minor internet friends, its okay to parent sometimes because we don't always want to share everything with our real parents. And I wish I had someone to tell me that I had to cut that internet friend off early on. But, I have lived and I have learned. I am much more cautious on the internet now, and I am much more wary of manipulation, which I have experienced way too much of, even recently, but I caught it and stopped it.

Thank you to everyone who reads this and has the energy to comment. I love knowing im not alone and I really do love every comment all of my more adulty internet adult friends leave. Yall make me feel great, and I read do also appreciate your advice and support, being a rather new adult.

[bondsmagii]

🌻

new ask game send me a 🌻 and ill just tell you whatever the fuck i want

one of the things that pisses me off the most is when people put the responsibility of their safety and experience on other people. it’s something I see increasingly often on Tumblr and I sincerely just… don’t get where people’s entitlement comes from. maybe it’s because I’m from a different generation of internet user, where privacy was important and we wouldn’t dream of putting our real names/ages/literal trigger lists up where anyone could click on it and see it, but it just astounds me how people seem to think that the internet can be made into a safe space. it never will be. this doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t try to be kind, and that we shouldn’t report illegal content, but this isn’t what these people mean. they might act like that’s all it’s about, but it isn’t that simple. it’s a huge amount of pressure that’s put on everyone they interact with.

these people want other people to be mindful of them while reblogging shit to Tumblr. their own damn blogs, and one of their followers (not even a mutual) might think it’s appropriate to have a liveblogged mental breakdown on their blog because something obscure upset them and they don’t know how to cope in a healthy way. I would never say that a trigger is fake, but if a trigger is so wide-spread or not possible to be guessed at all, it’s up to you to protect yourself. and you might say that asking people to tag is protecting yourself, and in a way it is, but it isn’t practical. ‘but it only takes seconds!’ you might insist, but like… those add up. maybe it’s easier if you have a small blog, but I have a follower count in the five digits. if I was tagging everyone’s trigger lists, it a) would result in me taking for literally ages and b) tag lists that were massively long. I simply cannot look after all XX,XXX of you. that’s your responsibility.

when you’re on the internet, you’re all kind of chilling in your own spaces and occasionally crossing over or bumping into other people’s spaces. it’s up to you to keep your space how you like it, and allow other people to do the same with theirs. if someone is putting something in their space that you don’t like (not illegal, not objectively bad in any way, just something that upsets you or that you don’t like), you turn away. you stop interacting. it’s like… say you all have a communal garden, and you each have your own vegetable patch. you can’t go around to everyone and tell them that no one can grow tomatoes in the entire garden because you don’t like them. and if you see one and throw yourself to the ground and have a tantrum, you really need to work on your coping mechanisms.

finally, the fact I know that there are people out here who would read this and immediately think “oh, so you’re alright with purposely triggering people? you’re alright with [insert actually illegal practise here]?” just proves my point. yall need to go outside and relearn how life works.