#oh and the relationship ended bc she wasn’t cheating by being w 3 other ppl at once but me getting with 1 person was cheating and she

[mithliya]

Peak story time please!!!

What was the first thing that peaked you, and when did you peak (not just specifically “peak trans,” but anything “peak patriarchy”)?

okay so in terms of like “peak patriarchy” tbh it’s hard to pick one moment. i grew up in a pretty patriarchal society & country. i was already pretty sick of it from a young age bc i was basically getting called a whore, being harassed, & getting pressured by ppl within my society (luckily not my family) over me not wearing the hijab. when i was in my early teens, i faced rape & most ppl i had opened up to (most being close friends) either said it was my fault or called me a liar or basically minimised what my rapist did like it’s not a big deal to rape someone. again, was called a whore & harassed for that. then i had this one guy as a remaining friend & lucky me, happens to be a guy who had a crush on me for 4 years at this point & was persistent despite repeated rejection. eventually i felt bad and powerless bc rejecting him didn’t mean anything to him, he was arguing im “still his girlfriend” (when i said im not with him & do not want to be) and he said maybe to ME we rnt together but to him we r. anyways after putting up with that for a while, i ended it for the 50th time & he said “is it bc ur a lesbian” and i said yes. 6 months later he sends me flowers to my place in bahrain (his brother delivers it to me) & i was like wtf. so i had to end it again. and again. by that point i was pretty fed up honestly but eventually i got him to leave me alone bc he said like “stay pls maybe i can change your mind ;(“ and i said he cannot and then said if my mind changes ill hit him up. i already knew my mind wouldn’t be changed lol bc i tried not to be a lesbian for long enough to know it’s just not possible. but at least that somehow convinced him to leave me alone. but then when i was done w that situation & opened up about being a lesbian online, i got repeatedly hassled on whether id date a trans woman etc & about penises. i was a tra and was like no unm id totally date a trans woman but not with a penis bc im penis-repulsed. and ofc then i got hassled w messages like “isnt that terfy / transphobic” so at this point im like what the fuck. here’s where i started to peak. anyways like a year or two later i have my first gf right and she’s a massive TRA. im still leaning towards the TRA side but talking vocally about how sex exists & so does sex-based oppression & that lesbians are allowed not to like penis. anyways my then-gf pressures me into an open relationship & says it’s bc my body is like “too perfect” & it makes her insecure and she hates her body etc. she says that she was told that polyamory can help solve her body image issues & was convincing me of how it’d work. i was skeptical and not for having an open relationship but like how can u say no to someone u love telling u that ur the reason for their insecurities & that u can help them simply by letting them fuck other ppl??? so i was like okay fine. immediately my ex dates like 3 other ppl at once, 1 of them being a trans woman. i was against this n was like how’s this meant to help w ur body image issues … this person literally has a penis and a completely body from u… n my ex was tryna convince me that it does help somehow. anyways the trans woman wants desperately for us to become a throuple. writin detailed fantasies about me to my then-gf, made a Facebook profile set in bahrain with an arabic name with a hentai profile pic, etc. eventually my ex says “oh but i don’t think she’d be into that, she’s penis repulsed” and the tw goes all :( aw what a shame :( i hope she gets help for this :( and my ex agrees. my ex then tells me about this non-chalantly. im like erm ok… then a week later i text my ex and i say that the whole thing rly upset me. they both then proceed to gaslight me that im crazy & it’s not like that & im such a misandrist & i should be able to love trans women bc they’re women and what’s in their pants doesn’t matter. my ex switches between telling me that i should undergo some genital “exposure therapy” and telling me such therapies aren’t useful so it’s not like they want me to go there. i stand down eventually. probs peak trans there

[stray-tori]

An Innocent Sin & the good gay flashback ft. my descent into madness

I wasn’t sure if I should post this but I mostly want it archived so here we go. This is from like,, September?

So. “An Innocent Sin” is a dumpster fire unlike anything I’ve ever seen. I don’t remember why I decided to read it. maybe I was crazy. Either way... I read it. It soon started to touch upon (very very outlandish) sexual abuse which I thought was interesting. (the angst, not so much some of the wack circumstances surrounding it)

ANYWAY. at some point... we have a flashback. And not just that. It has a gay character.

And it turns rly gay. which mind you, is still in a het smut manwha (that has a “gay” side couple, but still!)

And it destroyed me.

For those who want to read it because I genuinely think the flashback is a decent bit, it’s all the bonus chapters between chapter 77 and 78 I think. There’s a part before that too, but idk where exactly anymore. (It’s on lezhin! or your platform of choosing)

I don’t THINK you’ll need any other knowledge to get the flashback bit? but it’s been a while.

Below the cut (rip mobile users), you can read all of my amazing reactions (all of these were text messages, for context - but I took most of the replies and convos about other things out). Post is also tagged as long post. :))

(i’m serious, this is fucking long)

__________

Here I am. Liking the gay flashback character. Feck. Main dude is still straight but idk it's cute pff

This is a mess. The girl white hair likes, likes black hair, maybe, but thinks white hair is attractive

What just happened is sth I'd like to know too pff He's so cute tho omg. Watch me melt Can we stay in this flashback before everything got perverted af and before white hair gets assaulted all the time I would send an eyebrow emote if I could Context: he's asking he says it again

Ik it's not mutual but loookkk he's so sweet. He's kinda rude in present time, can't we stay in this flashback forever

I never asked for gay, never expected gay but I got gay

This story is trash why am I still reading it shdhhd

He caught his mom cheating. And now she's forcing him to watch??? What is thissss Well adoptive mom But still sudhdidu what Bitch how dare YOU exist

Save my babyyyy

Yay sister that's not yet a rapist to the rescueee

This flashback is actually just nicer in every way let's just stay here This is a super long flashback btw Idek anymore what triggered it

Okay I think I'm gonna make the sensible decision and let this dumpster fire rest and just go sleep

It was very wild. I kinda wanna see white hair get therapy but it has 90 chapters and I'm at like 30... So I'm very concerned this is gonna be very dragged out. Idek if it's even finished ahahsududi - but I do kinda wanna see where it goes and see more cute Noah (white hair) so. Here we are.

yeahhh like i was down for the sexual abuse angst but then the mother killed the adoptive son's mother bc the dad had a thing for her?? and it was someone a person studying with white hair knew and so he's investigating and I'm like how did this turn into a crime organisation kind of plot

hhhhhhh i... i appreciate these horny things also tackling abuse but it always kind of gives me weird vibes to have both, especially when its very horny. And when people are horny to people who've been abused. Idk but I'd assume... you might try NOT to tie them up if they're frequently bondaged during their assaults. I'm just.... disjdksdj hello?? am i weird?? why are they fine with it???

also this manwha is so wild, theres this murder mystery investigation thing and then theres just a couple doing honry stuff sprinkled in between and i'm like OKAY

they rescued a guy in their basement and he's understandably very traumatized and they're trying to question him cut to our main couple trying bondage which i still dont understand bECAUSE HE'S A RAPE VICITM WHY ARE YOU OKAY WITH THIS the ones questioning arent the main couple of course but idshkjds

like im glad he's somehow okay with all this horny stuff despite his trauma and im glad he can be happy and have a nice relationship but DO WE NEED THIS MUCH OF IT he's very cute tho

i like that even when i try other stuff lezhin recommends me it still has large amount of gay in it

[mei: i mean... that's pretty great, if you ask me]

I mean I agree, I'm enjoying the gay eheheh these tonal whiplashes there's not even that much white space between the panels fhjd nvm it just turned horny goddamn it can there be 1 chapter without fucking? okay, there were the flashbacks

WE ARE BACK IN FLASHBACKS but im not getting the gay relationship, sad

OH WAIT AM I GETTING GAY COMFORT bc thats very good too

OH NNOOO this turned sad very quickly

I'M SORRY IM SPAMMING BUT THIS IS JUST ANGSTY

I'M :((((

different species confirmed

I rly like them :((( I like the current girl too but it's just..... very horny with her. the flashbacks are nice [current tori edit: she’s very unloyal idk why i said I liked her] im weird HHHHH RIPPP 

someone help him he looks so saddddd

not sure if thats the most healthy relationship but I'LL TAKE IT

AWWW black hair's mom cooks mild food for them bc Noah can't eat spicy food :((( im soft

PFFF

I LOVE THE FLASHBACKS :(((

awww

i feel like theyve done much more bonding than noah's current relationship. I mean yes I think its cute when she comforts him, too, but they rarely do anything besides be horny together

OH OH THEY'RE KISSING

best buildup, honestly

the position is hornier than I'd like later here goes hope it stays cute

D-did someone just respect the word "stop"??? I am amazed

i think you might uh. have some trauma stuff too so yknow

Dohye is a little dramatic in his reassurance but it's all rly cute so I'm :(( I like them a lot pls stay like this getting invested in flashbacks is always like: ik it wont stay but pls stay like this

hELP

chapters ending in "i wanna touch him" is never good. I'm scared. Oh okay he didnt do anything. PHEW. He's already better than the girl, can't they just end up together lmao

[Noah was jealous]

w-why do you look so evil dohye haukdhjs

oh. oh no. the horny is starting. pls dont... just be cute forever

DOHYE NO YOU WERE SO DECENT WHY ARE YOU LYING ABOUT KOREAN TRADITIONS TO GET HIM TO DO STUFF HORNY STUFF TOO NO PLS STOP I JUST- WHEEE TvT the manwha is actually less visually horny in the flashbacks but im not sure if its bc its BL which isnt rly the genre of the manwha or if its bc they're still kids basically, which... I'd respect the latter, tho I'd prefer it to be like this constantly haha

okay. he's not respecting stop anymore, but it's also more of embarrassed nature more than "no i dont want this stop" so maybe i can forgive it. Still losing points, but he hugged him and it was sweet so HHHHHHHHHHH NOT SURE HOW I SHOULD JUDGE THIS SITUATION

They [Noah’s family] forbid him to visit his friends house I AM DEVASTATED

understandable they're a rapist, a fucked up murderer mother and a father with a thing for younger women so

tho he dont know any of that but yknow he's so pretty just fucking end me on the spot

hooo

they are boyfriends and ik from the future that his sister is gonna ruin it allll she has those drugs that make visual imaginations feel like they rly happened to the person (dont know if thats real but holy fuck its terrifying) and she's used it before to say that Noah assualted her. and im pretty sure shes gonna use it again bc there was a panel of Noah remembering Dohye being uhhhh intimate with her and thats why Noah began to hate him and im so sad im not ready for it. bc he's denied it in the future and i honestly couldnt see it happening even before that or she drugged Dohye, i guess thats a possibility too

[current tori: oh girl, it’s neither and it’s wack]

which if, btich you gonna die even more enough rambling, more reading. this makes me so sad but also spicy

on the manwha note, he thinks Noah doesnt like his family bc he's adopted and doesnt feel comfy which....... fair enough i suppose. and he's so cute im gonna melt just looK AT THIS 

SHUt UP, IM GONNA CRY

OH MY GODDDD he ate like ice and gum and all that, and Dohye assumed it was bc of the more spicy food and got rl worried, but he was just trying to get the smell out of his breath bc he wanted to kiss him ukhsdjs HOW CAN YOU BE SO CUTE HELLLOOOOOOOOO

look at them. LOOK AT mY BABIESSSS

how am i ever gonna care about the main couple again aww he-he wanted to go to the same highschool as him :((( im sad bc i know its not gonna happennnnnn

[mei: also at this point, you're literally never gonna care about them. i don't even know the main couple that well and i honestly don't care about them whatsoever.]

WAIT NO they're actually going to the same school awww ik it wont take long until sister fucks it up for them but for now theyre so sweet ohmygodddd

cant he move in with them, fuck his family honestly

dohye he's not a fucking pokemon iukhsdjs

oh. its. turning horny i am displeased with this development but i guess its natural for their relationship however COULD YOU DO IT AT HOME AND NOT IN SOME DUSTY SMALL ROOM how do ppl do this i like that the comments too are just "... is anyone still carng about the other girl?" sakjds

this is the best 3 panels in existence.

h-he just took your hand dohye idk what to tell you

[mei: "you blush at everything i do" god if that isn't me, idk what is]

awww its cute dohye is getting bonus points bc he invited Noah over while his mom wasnt home, they watched some sexual stuff and he DIDNT try to do anything what is this where can i get more of this

"well im not okay"

MY BABIESSSS 

they still didnt do much btw they're just kinda exploring and its honestly nice TvT I dont want this to ever endddd

[Dohye sees Noah’s sister and approaches her] N O

N OOOO

this is the starttttt of something.......... TERRIBLEEEE 

:((( babyyyy

I AM EMO

Noah was drugged im sure. hes having dreams and waking up in pain and the sister is asking doyhe over I DONT LIKE THISSSSSSS OH HE DECLINED

OKAY OKAY he saw him with her again but it was from behind and im not sure if it rly happened??? oh no this is terrible. Noah :((( poor child

i am so emo about this

[reminder he’s been abused TvT]

[the sister: “Don’t you want to know why?”]

i will. murder someone he called to ask her to delete his number btw what is this manwha but this is just gonna make it that more tragic when whatever happens that breaks them apart :(((

he's such a good bf but Noah just wont TELL him his side I'M SO SAD

I AM SO SAD

No

NO

It cant end im actually tearing up nooo you were so cuteeee and happpyyy

[*sister is telling dohye to come to the gym hall*]

what else is she gonna do she already teared [current tori: ahem... T O R E] them apart THAT'S NOT DOYhE. THATS NEVER HIM. OH MY GOD. is it a look alike??? damn, she's dedicated to just. ruining it, huh

I’M

I’M SO SAD

now he's switching SCHOOLS NO NOOOOO how will i ever find happiness againnnn NO they're misunderstanding further they're not talking properly i mean i get it but oh my god

I'M :((( 

NO NOOOO pls make up in the future at least omg he tried to clear it up tooo ahhh i dont even have hopes for them getting back together but i just i want them to clear it up im crying first manwha to make me cry and it's this dumpster fire ahaha maybe a little too bc it kinda hit a little close to home i guess but goddamnn ittttt they were so cuteee and so happy and AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

OH NO. Noahs getting drugged and assaulted. And he's realizing it happened before, he just forgot. I am. so sad it's not horny drawn either which i appreciate but MY HEART NO

N O DONT YOU DARE MAKE THIS WORSE

Im. gonna cry more 

Doyhe kept an eye on him im so emo :(( but he thought he was doing well enough and gave up.... Im im so sad no i want you to make up and get back together its all just a stupid........... MEHHHH will i ever find sth like this flashback again

[mei: p-probably not, no]

i am so devasted i dont even wanna go back to the main couple just fucking. i want this relationship back :(((( but i guess the investigation might end up somewhere so hhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhh the baker manwha had a similar flashback feeling so. i just gotta find more of that haha

BUT THIS WAS SO SAD??? im so emo

[Dohye got kidnapped // the flashback commentary stops here but I think my descend into madness is pretty funny too]

OH YEAH THAT HAPPENED. THE FLASHBACK WAS SO LONG I FORGOT. NOOOO SAVE HIM. JESUS CHRIST PLS JUST ONE GOOD THING

its. actually rly smart to have another, more focused on them flashback, before the arc where he gets kidnapped by the rapist murder household so. good job. from a meta perspective but also NO but also. maybe theres hope for them making up at least after all :(((

[main couple kissing] this is. very weird now. but im glad he has someone, he deserves it but dohyeeeee

and switching to sex, YET AGAIN now i wanna see this EVEN LESS THAN I DID BEFOREEEE it's even.... a threesome now with one of the other characters why are you like this why can't you be. like in the flashback i am so upset HAHHHHH WHEEEZEEEE

I am just stop fucking jesus christ PLEASE I DONT WANNA SEE IT ANYMOREEEEE

im just stop the horny pls just tell me who that new guy is and why doyhe likes him so much

[mei: this manwha is a fucking mess but at least we got your lovely commentary out of it]

dhsuksj thanks i feel honored at least i got cute BL out of it before everything went [back] to shit

[mei: THAT TOO]

[...]

tbh im getting kinda mad about doyhe... i dont... feel like he'd just fall instantly for a guy who looks like Noah... but eh not my character

i just want closure for dohye at this point, fuck everything else ... not literally pls theres already too much of that

pls get it together for like 1 chapter is the investigation even still happening i am so confused save dohye plEASE wait what i have less than 10 episodes left Dont tell me this shit isnt even wrapped up yet

[Dohye is having a breakdown over the Noah double not coming to see him anymore]

yeah i this... doesnt feel like Dohye... at all... Even when Noah was rejecting him he was just kind of... taking it with some humor and maybe he was a little desperate and risky sometimes but... oh well... i do want him to get better but... im having a hard time believeing this development??? he never seemed overly anxious or anything. but who knows what else they did to him. Sister can still go fuck off tho

[...]

i mean. i liked the flashbacks a lot honestly??? it stayed simple and focused on the dynamics and less trying to balance smut with murder plots

[dm partner: NO THAT'S WHAT I MEAN LIKE CLEARLY THE AUTHOR CAN MAKE A GOOD STORY SO I'M JUST... CONFUSED AS TO WHY THEY DIDN'T STICK WITH SOME SOFT, FLUFFY BL ROMANCE MANWHA AND DECIDED TO MAKE WHATEVER THIS IS INSTEAD ]

okay i dont care bc dohye is currently getting assaulted nobody asked for this why i just. this is terrible. he was... so sweet. he doesnt deserve this. nobody does of course but jesus christ pls someone save him at least its not horny visually, one saving grace

ah... the assult is back to being depicted horny-ly thank you for nothing

[... removed some general confusion about the plot]

YES. SOME SHIP FOOD.

i am. suffering i mean i cant stop but GOD

okay so apparantly. the sister. has just an arsenal of people who look like other people Dohye, then Noah... and even Noah's GF??? this is ridiculous??

one good message 

why 

did you feel the need to add that [actual tired rage]

im gonna die this manwha is gonna kill me im laughing but im suffering oh hes arrested great and thats the end and the last update was in january of this year

why AS IN NOAH IS ARRESTED nobody who actually did anything is arrested What is this why is this AHHH I at least wanted the complete-ness of finishing this but now I'M JUST SUFFERING

[ mei: I MEAN TO BE FAIR I'D BE SUFFERING TOO BC JUST... WHAT THE FUCK I HAVE?? MANY QUESTIONS?? AND MANY CONCERNS BC THIS MANWHA IS JUST... AN EXPERIENCE ]

its an experience allright WELL

_______________

yup that’s it.

in my head, in a twist of events Dohye and Noah make up and are actual endgame. Something like that must exist out there but I won’t ask because it’d destroy the surprise and ruin the point.

That’s it.

Have a nice day.

[bnha-imagines-hcs]

uwu i want angst and sorry if this is too triggering but is it okay to do dabi, present mic and shinsou where they get in a super heated fight w their s/o and the boys do a quick movement to run their hands through their hair or like hand gesture and its so fast their s/o thinks they’re going to hit them and they heavily flinch and then the guys find out shes had like an abusive past i love ur writing so much crie

( no, this is okay ❤❤❤ i won’t write a prompt of charas beating their s/o, but this is good. | warning for grade A asshole in dabi’s. | wherein present mic is the only one who knows how to do this lmfao. | shinsou’s a good boy who Tries. )

| dabi; headcanons.

a heated fight with dabi is like tryina cheat death. he’s a stone-cold professional with his mind on the job, but when anger gets involved there’s no more rules. yeah, that’s been a red flag from the get go, but here you both are…

dabi’s cruel when he’s angry. serious about his bonds, but cruel, and it’s never worse than when ppl take to clawing at him in word or deed; fighting with him gets nasty – if it hurts him, you’re fucked.(you piece of shit, like you’ve any more right than whatever rando you’re degrading yourself to be, fuck you fuck you FUCK YOU—)                                   nothing but absolute offensive defence. it’s all predatory while anyone he cares for (or who knows how to get to him) is taking shots at him; fixated on the kill to avoid his own pain. there is no pain, no gentility as a viable option for dealing with this (he doesn’t even know that’s a thing that really works, that he could do), no bond to preserve - nothing but rage to hide within and blind his enemies with.

          since it’s his primary mode for survival, it’s not smth he can consciously acknowledge (yet). he can’t - he needs it too much, too often.

it’s not the kind of mood where he likes his s/o, it’s not the kind of mood where he wants to be nice.

              you’re scared of him? (fire, fists, words, teeth- there’s              so much he can do–) good. you should be. 

       absolutely undoubtedly, dabi makes it so much fucking worse. had they not been fighting, it would’ve been so different – but there’s no mercy in a fight. an angry dabi is rarely safe.he doesn’t hit them, but he makes a play at it more than once until they’re a crying, triggered mess and that’s when he takes his vindication somewhere private / he’s won.            he’ll worry about whether you’re still dating after he’s figured out            whether he still wants that.

oh, the insinuations? bitch, no-one here is unhurt. and if you know dabi, you shouldn’t be stupid enough not to feel the threat. if that would scare you, fuck off you brainless–

     he hasn’t yet figured out whether you’re still worth giving a shit. shit.

| hizashi; headcanons.

the one motherfucker who handles this well from the get go, and that’s in part because with hizashi you just don’t get into… nasty fights. the rest is that hizashi is Absolutely not inclined toward scaring his loved ones and has no need for defensive rage to that extent. 

he’s got standards for himself, y’know? they’re more important than petty shock/hurt - his survival methods are so much more healthy than dabi’s, and that’s thanks to personality and opportunity.

if you’re really fighting, it’ll still be close to reason - hizashi’s emotionally healthy & would be with someone who is, for the most part, also that. as in, if you can’t talk about ur big issues like adults ( + some emotion ofc but honestly expressed, not cruelly ), he’s nooooooot gonna be in a relationship with you.      you- that’s. like. communication, bro. you need it.

first off he’ll a) absolutely notice and jump to the right conclusions thanks to experience b) wave it away bc he’s preoccupied and inclined to go ‘well it could be smth ELSE’ if he’s not completely ready to deal with it.the look on your face makes him ready to deal with it in about 3 seconds, and then he gently puts the fight on hold to ask whether he scared you, assure verbally that he wouldn’t, and give you space while asking what u need to feel safe enough to continue being arnd each other - or to not do that if u can’t feel safe.

hizashi is so good at making himself gentle - bc he is. he doesn’t need the walls & fronts to feel safe himself; vulnerability is his strength. he uses it well.

          there’s blankets involved and his express refusal to come near unless you ask him to, letting you control his proximity to you and what happens next. if you want, there are so many cuddles. if you want, there is reading apart from each other in blanket nests without focussing on anything so you can try to wind down. tea, maybe some anti-anxiety bg music, a super gentle kid’s show on tv. if you want to leave, you leave. if you want him to leave, he leaves. if you want to work through this but need a friend as a buffer, y’all call them over. hizashi will text aizawa for his own emotional support, cuz finding this out is rather upsetting for him too - fuck, he loves you, of course it is.       anything to be receptive, welcoming, and kind to your pain.

       the real anger comes when he finds out just who hurt you, and it’ll       be reserved for those names.

| shinsou; headcanons.

shinsou gets mad. 

it’s instant, thoughtless hurt while they’re already hurting each other and it just makes him defensive / he doesn’t stop to consider a better route. (can’t.) more angry, yells smth pained about them not trusting him (thinks it’s a jab since they know his buttons) – things aren’t registering as they would if he had his wits about him.it’s just hurt. yells, moves toward them too quick & makes it worse (not intentional) but is already backing off again. things sink in now & he’s a mess, so instead of doing anything that he can’t properly think through rn he just leaves. takes himself out of the situation.

he’s not stupid. between his own experiences, hero work, etc – once the fight’s a lil further in the past and his head cooled, he can look at it and see they weren’t trying to hurt him. it wasn’t fake– and that’s so much worse.        do they trust him anymore? no idea, so he waits it out / gives them both more time to settle. he’s not ready to be soft yet, but the idea of going in when he’s still on edge just breaks his heart.shit, he didn’t know this.

maybe he’s reading too much into it. yeah, maybe. he’ll ask. hopes that won’t be too invasive, draws on all his lessons to figure out a game plan; be calm, non-threatening, respectful. (he’s gonna phone aizawa, ask for advice.)he especially needs time to prepare for the possibility they won’t want to share with him. will respect it of course, but he’s so fucking worried it’d drive him a lil mental so he needs to prep to not push whatsoever - and it’s easier to focus on his worry than their fight that’s been abandoned like an open wound. 

           ‘easier’. ugh.

he goes back in when his head’s clear / phoned first to ask. he cuts right to the chase, tells them to set the boundaries if they want to meet up - make it so they can feel safe. it’s not that bad anymore, they say – although it really hurt when shinsou just left, made them fear he didn’t want smth so broken. 

                  that hadn’t fucking occurred to him at all.

and that’s such a relief they fucking both cry, ugly sobs into the phone and tentative ‘why were we fighting anyway’ - an equally careful ‘maybe we can write things out that bother us and just focus on finding a way through’. 

they meet. their s/o is a lil spooked in that trauma way you just can’t help & shinsou’s hyper caution makes it worse until they each find a balance. somewhere innocuous with ice cream and a view on a park, and they just. adjust to this new part of their dynamic, get used to each other again since they didn’t get to properly end the fight or deal with things.        there’s some unrelated talk to ease into things before they open up - just the tip of the iceberg, to test out shinsou’s capacity for it. 

he’s got a hard time looking gentle when he’s torn between hurting for them so much (and that’s… more intense than expected) and angry at himself, the situation, the things that hurt his s/o and the things he doesn’t need to punish himself for but does.

              after a while they call in the help of experienced adults (read: present mic) to deal with this; still more private than a counsellor, but still… they need the help.

they make it through. soft becomes a new/reinforced staple of their relationship and they learn way better ways to communicate thru issues, avoid actual fights.

learning to channel his anger differently also eases shinsou’s overall life / being soff w/ the bae becomes a new (and first) favourite part of his own personality (whoo boy). if he happens upon the bastards who hurt his s/o and curbstomps them somewhere in a back alley, well. that’s more aizawa’s influence.

[valcntinv]

hellooooo i’m moose (she/her, cst) !! this is my lil bae valentina (or megara if u nasty) but there’s more info about her under the cut !! i wanna plot w all of u so HMU or just LIKE THIS and i’ll come to you !! u can also find her pinterest here bc i’m an extra bitch.

( cindy kimberly; 21; she/her ) – is that [MEGARA]? no, that’s [VALENTINA RIVERA]! the residents remember them as being [INDEPENDENT && AUDACIOUS] and we wonder if they are still [RETICENT && CYNICAL] when things get rough. when they dream about home, they remember [LILAC SKIES, A COOL SUMMER BREEZE, PERFECT EYELINER, and TEARS SHED ON SLEEPLESS NIGHTS]. hopefully their happily ever after is coming soon! 

sO she’s lived in town her whole life and absolutely hates it??? like.....idK all she wants is just to travel and experience new things and live her life and she feels like she’s just stuck in this small town and it’s driving her up the wall

she fully believes that there’s nothing like Here for her u know ???? she’s made for more she just hasn’t rly had the opportunity to leave bc she’s a broke ass bitch!!!!!

for her entire life she’s always had to rely on herself. her dad was never in the picture and her mom wasn’t exactly the greatest parent around?? they never had a lot of money and what little money they did had, valentina’s mom would rather spend on her next score. it wasn’t rare for leni to find her passed out on the couch when she got ready to leave for school or being woken up in the middle of the night when her mom came stumbling home with some random guy

she learned pretty early on how to take care of herself and it’s been that way ever since. she got emancipated when she was seventeen and has been living on her own in this shitty little apartment ever since. 

she’s currently working 3 jobs rn to get by. she’s got a waitressing gig at momma’s diner, she works as a maid, and she also works as a phone sex operator. u can probably guess which one she doesn’t like to talk about

personality wise she is v cynical and just like....generally distrusting of p much everybody ??? but men in particular. she isn’t exactly easy to get along with all the time but if ur her friend she is insanely loyal and she would deadass do anything for u

she’s very bitter and feels like the world is always against her but at the same time she’s like....determined to Fight ??? like everything may be shitty and the world might always kick her when she’s down but that’s not gonna stop her from getting back up on her feet u know??

she’s never been one for relationships bc she doesn’t really like opening up to people like that but she did just get out of a pretty big relationship fairly recently. ( this is for sure a wc!!!!!!!!) she was very in Love with this boy and they dated for a v long time and she was sure they would be together forever bc what they had felt so real and perfect. she literally would have done anything!!!!! he ended up getting arrested and she used every single penny she had & got into business w some sketchy people just to bail him out & afterwards she found out that he had been cheating on her and her entire world just like crumbled????

it basically killed her and she’s been ever more bitter than usual ever since. she’s totally convinced at this point that the whole idea of love is total bullshit and she doesn’t believe in it and any time she comes close to getting feelings she’s like YEET and runs the other way at full speed

& now she owes a lot of money to the wrong ppl so its like..........yikes

she is....hella proud and will not accept help from anybody ever for any reason at all. she avoids talking about her problems altogether and also u will never catch her talking about her feelings. she just bottles everything up and cries alone in bed at like 3am

get offended when ppl try to help her bc she doesn’t want to seem weak 

she’s always tired from work but....always down to party LMAO like....she’s definitely always out at the bar or a club or at some party drinking until her liver gives out and getting high

definitely a sass queen. she always has a lot to say and...........she has no filter so u best believe she’s gna say it no matter what

kind of intimidating, not very approachable, a lil mysterious, but always out here lookin lik a snack

guys probably tell her to smile more and say shit like oh a pretty girl like u shouldn’t be smoking, or such a pretty girl shouldn’t swear so much and shit like that and she’s always just............two middle fingers up fuck u

literally does not care at ALL what other ppl think about her and she’s just....doin her thing

she is v flirtatious and will....literally flirt w anybody just bc she can u know ??? my bi queen

idk what else to say rly so imma just go on abt some wcs now

a best friend!!! the one person in the world she rly trusts with everything and is actually comfortable opening up to?? prob a friend since childhood since she’d have to know them for a v long time

the ex-boyfriend that fucked her over

some party friends!!! she prob doesnt open up to them abt anything but they still go out and have a good time together

some co-workers!!!!!!

a drug dealer maybe???

some fwb for sure!!! she probably has a lot bc she is..........a no feelings kinda gal

literally....anything tbH

[stateofirrelevancy]

Get To Know Me Tag

Rules: Answer these 92 statements and tag 20 people.

Holla @ ma girl @kerrity13​ thx for the tag babe

LAST:

1. Drink: some H and a double shot of O 2. Phone call: To my mom to ask where the olive oil is only to realize olive oil has too many calories and wasn’t worth it dsfjkds so then I tossed it back in the cabinet but it didn’t land upright woops 3. Text message: “she jus wants a friend” sent to my friend Orange who is watching Moana w me right now in response to “why is this fire lady so angry” 4. Song you listen to: Like I said I’m watching Moana so the I Am Moana song but if that doesn’t count then Vanity’s Fair - A Lot Like Birds 5. Time you cried: I actually have no idea?? Sometime in June prolly

HAVE YOU:

6. Dated someone twice: twice????? bich i aint go on a date once 7. Kissed someone and regretted it: Is this the section to make me feel bad bc I never leave my room 8. Been cheated on: refer to #6 9. Lost someone special: Idk I feel like yes like all my grandparents passed away and my uncle on my mom’s side and my aunt on my dad’s side and also v recently my uncle on my dad’s side but like they lived in Pakistan so I rarely saw them ya feel?? 10. Been depressed: I mean I’ve def been super sad but idk if I’d say ~depressed~ 11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: refer to #7

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS:

12-14: Orange, yellow, black, in that order.

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU:

15. Made new friends: Yes, one of whomstve being @oceansweather my go to drama buddy 16. Fallen out of love: fallen out of what now? u mean when I get over bands I used to like? Then yes Big Time motherfuckin Rush yall broke my tiny heart in two 17. Laughed until you cried:  Def who hasn’t 18. Found out someone was talking about you: I don’t think so?? Like I don’t doubt people do but I ain’t jumpin 2 kno about it 20. Found out who your friends are: I guess?? I mean I’ve basically had the same friends for 5 years lol 21.  Kissed someone on your Facebook list: On the cheeks ya

GENERAL:

22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: Ok considering I have eight (8) FB friends bc I made my fb to join my college’s group I know all of them considering I only added ppl super close to me lmao 23. Do you have any pets: When my brother lived here I had his cat Glimmer who is a stripper but he moved out and now I’m constantly :( 24. Do you want to change your name: Nah I like my name 25. What did you do for your last Birthday: On the exact day I had a big dinner at home w my family and the weekend after my friends came over! 26. What time do you wake up: If my mom wakes me up then 10 otherwise 11-12:30 27. What were you doing at midnight last night: prolly on tumblr tbfh 28. Name something you can’t wait for: Bojack Horseman season 4!! and new 5sos music ofc.  29. When was the last time you saw your mom? around 2 hrs ago when I went down to make popcorn lol 30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: ??? be hot or not dumb either would b k00l 31. What are you listening to right now: I’m watching What The Health now cause Moana ended rksdjlkfsd 32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: No?? The only Toms I know are british YouTubers bye 33. Something that is getting on your nerves: ummm myself 34. Most visited website: prolly youtube 35. Mole/s: One on my left pinky, one at the bottom of my left ring finger, one next to my left knee, one above my right eyebrow, one in the pit of my left elbow. 36. Mark/s: I have a huge birth mark on my stomach lmao fun fact it used to look like the US when I was younger 37. Childhood dream: yall I had my life planned THE FUCK out. When I was in fifth grade I decided I would b a pop star like Hannah Montana until I was ~30, and then when my world fame inevitably dissipated, I’d become a doctor like the good little brown girl I thot I was. 38. Hair color: black like my soul 39. Long or short hair: medium length lol 40. Do you have a crush on someone: Calum mf Hood ain’t got eyes for no one else 41. What do you like about yourself: what do I what now 42. Piercings: do my ears getting pierced when I was a baby count asdklfj 43. Blood type: I think B positive?? idk 44. Nicknames? Aky 45. Relationship status: me myself and i are together and in a loving poly relationship 46. Zodiac: Taurus 47. Pronouns: She/Her 48. Favorite TV Show: PARKS AND REC!!! I was jus telling my friend the other day that idt I’ll ever find a show I’ll love more than it. Words can’t describe how much I love P&R yall. 50. Right or left hand: Right but don’t b fooled my left is mf skilled 51. Surgery: nope 52. Hair dyed in different color: I wish!! 53. Sport: who? I don’t know her 55. Vacation: what does this mean like have I been on vacation before?? Then ya lol 56. Pair of trainers: CONVERSE BITCH aint no one else exist in the world but her

MORE GENERAL:

57. Eating: idk what this question means what is my fave food????????? then,, idfk lasagna 58. Drinking: capri sun could fuck me in the asshole any day 62. Want: ?? death 63. Get married: ya I’m mf down when will a boi wife me tf up 64. Career: idk I really wanna work in AI 65. Hugs or kisses: hugs wtf i aint kiss none but hugs are pure i will fight someone over this 66. Lips or eyes: idk eyes?? 67. Shorter or taller: I guess taller cause im smol 68. Older or younger: older give me a daddy 70. Nice arms or nice stomach: arms gotta b strong to choke me 2 death 71. Sensitive or loud: sensitive I need some1 2 feel emotions for me thx 72. Hook up or relationship: relationship 73. Troublemaker or hesitant: are u saying i have the choice of finally having a cringey fuckboi badboy tm that most every wattpad fic was about 5 yrs ago?? no thanks

HAVE YOU EVER:

74. Kissed a Stranger: ,,,u kno the answer to that bye 75. Drank hard liquor: this is the section to make me feel bad abt myself reincarnated  76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: no n knock on wood I won’t 77. Turned someone down: ekjfnkdlsn one time a guy asked me to homecoming and I told him homecoming wasn’t my thing and then he saw me at homecoming ekdfjaderdfkalesdf 78. Sex on the first date: uhhh 222 early 4 me 79. Broken someone’s heart: who knows mayb i broke the homecoming guys heart the world may never know 80. Had your heart broken: anytime Calum refuses to acknowledge my existence 81. Been arrested: no but I’ll gladly b put in handcuffs :-) 82. Cried when someone died: ya when my grandma on my mom’s side died. Oh and also when Christina Grimmie died :( 83. Fallen for a friend: idt so

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

84: Yourself: ha 85. Miracles: sort of? Like I don’t believe in the magic behind it or whatnot but like winning the lottery would be a miracle bc like it’ so rare ya feel me 86. Love at first sight: nope not one bit 87. Santa Claus: fun anecdote so I’m Muslim and I never understood how Santa knows which houses are for people who celebrate christmas vs those who don’t and so I somehow conjured up the theory that he knows bc he checks each house and if they decorated and have a tree up, they celebrate it. So I was telling my mom this and she’s a vvv blatant person so we was straight up like he doesn’t exist and I was like he does!! and she was like ok then put up decorations and see if he comes and I was like :-( 88. Kiss on the first date: personally too early for me

OTHER:

90. Current best friend name: Idek who would be considered my #1?? Also what happened to question 89 lol 91. Eye color: brown 92. Favorite movie: Camp Rock 2: The Final Jam

I tag @oceansweather @aneverendingreplay @5sowoc @lukescurlies @fuckmemgc @harrqstyles @punk-dinosaur @ovalt @tennisbowels @disasterologiess @hiighriselights and anyone else who wants to

[chaseprice]

this kind of depends on whether u as a person believe there are things that you can get over/accept/move on from etc but like: chloe price. the girl hasn’t gotten over anything.

we meet her at a point in her life where a bunch of other shit is going on including dealing with literal superpowers/(super)natural disasters ((but also like, things like having feelings for ur childhood best friend, trying to find ur missing best friend, trying to work out what the fuck’s going on with the drugging and corruption in the local school lol, etc)) so. there are so many focuses. although a massive chunk of the story is largely centered around chloe, and max’s relationship with chloe, and the lengths max would go to for chloe-- chloe doesn’t have a massive character arc? she doesn’t? like, people wanna say things like, oh yeah she was Selfish at the start and then was willing to sacrifice herself for the sake of the town-- girl, she wants to die either way. she’s depressed and suicidal. her saying that she’s okay with max letting her die at the end isn’t some massive Character Development. maybe dontnod wanted it to be? but they suck so much that honestly their whole vision of what they wanted to portray is just messy garbage, unfortunately, so i can’t tell if they did or not. but anyways point is: they failed. regardless. they didn’t portray the message that chloe, as a character, had been fully developed and could be put to the side like ‘yes, this is a Complete character right here, we done good lads, we told her story’. they just Dint!!!! 

yes, chloe is one of the more developed and more consistent characters in the game, i do think they did a good job with a lot of her writing (except her fate, and how they didn’t want to give her a happy ending). but! g o d! one of the reasons why she’s so good is because she’s so rich and multidimensional? they give her this backstory (i don’t care if ppl say it’s clichéd like i just don’t care, i already give dontnod a ton of shit but i won’t give them shit for chloe’s backstory being tropey, her teen/childhood pain is too relatable for me to bash) that’s Painful and Show us this girl with so many issues and problems and... she’s just so wonderful and, playing as max, you’re meant to grow to just Care for her so much and you can SEE how much max cares for her so you. want to see her happy? you want her to be okay, and for issues to be resolved, and so on. but............. y’know... when you reach the ending..... they’re so. ignored. they’re just brushed to the side? and i really doubt dontnod have the capacity for it to just be symbolic of the message “sometimes you just have to push issues to the side and deal with One Big Important thing for the Greater Good”. they’re just....... well, they’re careless. they’re lazy too but like in this situation they literally ran out of money (like, literally) and couldn’t make ep 5 as long/developed as they wanted to. soooo.... all chloe’s shit got pushed to the side. and the only Chloe thing that matters at the end is her willingness to sacrifice herself for the town. which is sad. and just implies that in the sac bay ending, she would have a lot of personal issues to sort through in ADDITION to the fucking issues that arise from letting your girlfriend watch as a tornado destroys the town. ‘for you’. shit’s fucked up dude.

but ALSO. this Also implies. like, in the sort of happy everything’s fine AU that we all like to believe in where ep 5 just didn’t happen-- chloe’d still have a lot of shit to deal with? and i’m not just talking about her mental illness bc i talk about that all the time; i was actually thinking about william in particular before making this post. chloe is Fucked Up about william. and it’s been. 5 years. it’s her dad, of course she’d be fucked up for years, but like. it’s still affecting her A Lot. her breakdown in ep 3 was triggered by rachel cheating shit, fueled by her thinking everyone betrays her, and we’re meant to believe the Root of it is because of william (i know it might’ve seemed like it was just for plot purposes, and i guess it kinda was, but i’ll be nice and lenient for dontnod for once and believe ‘em). aaaand. then of course there’s the arbitrary episode 4 bullshit that’s completely unnecessary and mildly ableist and just for Shock Factor and so on- which. completely uses up a part of the game that could’ve been used for talking through her william stuff or. Anything. something. i don’t know. thing is, we come back from that universe and are thinking like, alright, william’s GOTTA be dead so we’ve accepted that but. chloe hasn’t? the only sort of indication that chloe has even thought about it since is her text that’s her apologizing for freaking out, and still, like. that does NOT imply she’s worked through it in any way, she’s just. calmed down. not breaking down anymore.

also back to main canon and not inc. happy au: we’re meant to get some kind of resolution/acceptance when we find rachel dead, like that’s just another one of chloe’s issues (and the story’s plot points) ‘completed’. chloe doesn’t even get the time to GRIEVE before she’s murdered herself. she’s resurrected in the next episode, then she briefly talks about rachel getting revenge, and max making things right for rachel or w/e, but it’s not enoughhhhhhh. it’s just not enoughhh. we play the whole game with this secondhand desire/mission/motivation to find rachel (for chloe!!!!) and then... nothin! nada! like 1/3 of chloe’s character is rachel-related and we don’t even get to see her Properly react or talk about it except for crying and then wanting to kill who did it (which... wow, yes. that was kinda powerful and telling for characterization, i’ll admit, but STILL probably the rushed-ness of it was unintentional on dontnod’s part and not actually to do with chloe’s quick harsh emotions and reactions. an accidental good thing). there was such a build up to... nothing. and i don’t think it was deliberate

and. she hasn’t gotten over max leaving her either :_) she.... she hasn’t. dont get me wrong i LOVE how she puts it to the side really quickly and forgives her Just Like That and still fucking falls in love with her (bc it’s so THEM, it’s so pricefield) but ... that’s. largely because chloe desperately needs max at this point in her life. and like literally every single fear of abandonment/betrayal chloe harbors has been influenced by max leaving like THE GIRL JUST AINT OVER IT even in the future their relationship is still gonna be a tiny tiny bit insecure for chloe bc she’s worried she’ll be left again or Not Good Enough or anything (like, duh she’ll figure out that max isn’t gonna leave again, and she really does love her, but still. those annoying feelings are real and STILL THERE). that’s Fucked her up good! she’s just a fucked up girl! whom i love.

chloe has soooo many !!!!!! Personal Issues that just aren’t fully explored in lis.... and it’s disappointing but .... not the worst, i guess, because she is the best character in the game and the rest of the stuff To Do With Her can maybe make up for it. and yeah, it would take years to work through some of this stuff so i know it’s impractical to expect it to all be ‘’solved’’ in the game or whatever but like.... some further acknowledgement of underlying issues and insecurities remaining after a while..... would be nice. lmao this post wasn’t even meant to be critical of lis/dontnod at first it was literally me just trying to say “chloe hasn’t gotten over shit” lol. like, she’s just Coped Unhealthily for years and years. ignored things, resorted to Bad Shit, gotten in nasty messes, and didn’t give a shit about it bc she didn’t give a shit about herself.lbr this fucked up Lass is more fucked up than she lets on