#oh and next semester cause idk if I mentioned it I have a class every day so- that’ll be something!

[ajellybee]

Tamed: Sukuna x Fem!Reader

⟢ CW!!: NSFW MDNI, 3.8k words, not proofread, excuse typos.. Freak frat boy Sukuna, virgin fem reader, college au, attempts of plot, no protection WRAP IT UP CHAT!!!, first time, cunnilingus, girl idk if thats all. You get the idea!! Virgin pussy so good you domesticated your whore of a best friend.

⟢🐝notes: this is my first time trying to do like, a full-fleshed fic so it might be a little rough…hope you enjoy tho!!! 

The HC that this was based off of here!

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“Hey, girl. You’re Sukuna’s friend right”. Not only has this girl been your lab partner all semester, but you guys also shared classes freshman year. You rolled your eyes because you know what’s coming next. Sukuna and you have been friends since junior year of high school. You got stuck with him for a project and you guys kind of just stuck. Sukuna also has a reputation for himself, being the class whore, even in high school, but since you guys started college it's gotten..so much worse. Even when he was a freshman the senior girls wanted a piece of him. 

You on the other hand were not as familiar in his field of expertise. Sure there were boyfriends here and there but you never went ALL the way, they were too eager to get their dicks wet and didn't care anything about your pleasure, so the virginity is still intact!! 

“Yes I know him, no he doesn’t want you, he’s with someone” It wasn't an entire lie. He was always down for a good fuck and he changes girls like clockwork, but he mentioned “scoring a hottie” earlier. The girl’s smile and friendly attitude towards you disappeared as if it was never there. Really it was annoying, dealing with your best friend’s shit. At this point, he needs to make announcements when he’s ready for the next girl. 

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“Sukuna I swear to every god out there, if one more girl approaches me trying to get in your pants, I'm killing you and them myself” He’s lying across your dorm bed scrolling through his phone. When he is not on his freak nasty agenda, he could be found in your room. You were able to score a single and he isn’t all too fond of his roommate. Seemingly not really listening to you he continues to scroll, causing you to kick his side. He thought it was funny, cute almost, how upset you got over this. It was the same argument every other week. He just wishes it came from a place of jealousy not inconvenience. 

“Woman I have no control over that. Not my fault this dick makes them crazy” he smirks at you making you scoff.

“God you're disgusting...get off my covers you’re dirty” you playfully(kind of) try and kick him off the foot of your bed. He quickly grabs your feet and pins them under his body, not budging despite your attempts to pull them free. 

“Don't be grouchy cuz you haven't gotten laid yet, brat” 

“Girl you fuck enough for the both of us, and like five more people. I’m good, trust.” You put emphasis on the last bit as you finally tug your feet free. “freak…”

“Anyways, look this was the girl I was telling you about” He shows you an Instagram page on his phone. Sukuna looked for any flash of jealousy in your face, but you gave him nothing. You used to like him back in High school, but liking him hurt too much. With every new girl and every story he’d tell you of said girl ripped away at you. To protect yourself you buried that feeling way way WAY deep down and you're fine with your relationship as it is now. Now you were indifferent, it's his life. Whatever. 

“Oh she’s pretty, how long is this one gonna last tho” 

“Don't know. She’s fine as fuck so maybe two weeks?” Again, no reaction to his statement, at least not the one he wanted. Sukuna? oh sukuna wanted you bad, but you never showed interest, if anything it felt like the opposite, and he didn't want to mess up what he did have with you, so he never pushed. 

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For the next couple of days you've been, unwillingly, thinking about sex. Blame ovulation or blame the overwhelming talk of sex in your friend group ever since your best friend lost her virginity. But you really saw no point in trying again, with how disappointing and unwilling all your past intimate (if you can even call it that) experiences have been. The talk you had with Gojo didn’t help either. You made a small comment and he poked and prodded until you spilled everything, even the part that you’ve been craving that experience. 

“Well, you could ask Toji, You know that one senior. I heard he loves virgins!” That’s what the idiot told you, sure was a joke, but it could work. Toji, much like sukuna, has a reputation for being a campus whore, but his favorite go-to-girls, were virgins. He always boasted about all the V-cards he took, and how good he was at it, ruining them for their future partners. But what has also been running through your mind was what Shoko told you.

“It would be better if you had sex with someone you trust?”

“You’ve been friends with Sukuna for a long time, no? Why not him?” suguru added.  You sat on that for a long time too. Sukuna was your best friend, and you do trust him. From the stories he’s told you himself you wouldn’t be left disappointed. The thing is, Sukuna never showed interest in you, strictly platonic. Sure he never gave up the chance of a good fuck, but with you being a virgin or him not seeing you in that light because of your friendship, the “what ifs” drove you insane, but after much deliberation, you came up with a conclusion, and hey, the worst he could do is say no. You got to your dorm and built up the courage to call him.

“Oh?? I thought you were avoiding me. You miss me now?” you could hear the annoying smirk on his face. 

“You know what never mind” you were ready to hang up, deciding on plan B, but as you pulled your phone away he interrupted.

“Okay okay, what's up?” Sukuna always dropped whatever he was doing for you, even if that meant not hooking up with the girl he was telling you about. He quickly pushed her out ignoring all her protests and angry huffs. Maybe you saved him cuz her whining was pissing him off.

“Can you come over?” Your face burned knowing what you were going to ask once he got there. You were determined to get it over with, and you had a plan B if he said no. no biggy no biggy… you just need to ask your best friend to fuck you. 

Sukuna arrived at your door quicker than you expected (he was already on his way to your dorm before you even asked him to go over). Opening the door, you let him in and he immediately got comfortable sitting on the edge of your bed.

“Okay, so what's up?” He’s pretending to be normal about it. But with the way you sounded over the phone he was thinking a million things and expecting nothing at the same time, but what you would say next will stop his heart. 

“Let me speak, no interruptions.” You waited for confirmation, catching on Sukuna nodded and waited for you to continue. It was like floodgates opened the way you confessed “Okay good. So… I want to lose my virginity. And, and I trust you the most out of everyone I know. It's okay if you say no, I won't take it to heart and besides, I have a plan B so it’s totally, totally fine.” it didn't feel as bad once you finished, although you didn't mean to add that last part. What happens, happens. You're comfortable with your relationship with sukuna so this should mean nothing to him, so you thought. Sukuna on the other hand, was not feeling the same relief, well he was until you mentioned a plan B.

“Plan B? And who the fuck is that” he stood up towering over you, eyebrow arched. 

“Oh well, gojo told me about Toji..you know him” The way he looked down on you was doing something, you felt something you hadn’t felt from another person in a while, Arousal. 

“Gojo is an idiot don't ever take advice from him” Sukuna regained a little of his composure after recalling your words. So he was plan A? “So you want me to fuck you, baby?” his hands found their way to your waist, pulling you to his chest. He liked the way you looked up at him. 

“Yes..” it came out barely a whisper, but sukuna wasn't having that.

“Sorry? What was that?” he leaned his ear down towards you. Oh so he’s gonna tease? You should have known.

“damn it.. Fuck, Yes, Sukuna. I want you” The words came out so breathy and desperate it surprised you. Sukuna noticed it as well and that fueled him even more as he slid his hands under your shirt and up your back. His warm hands felt like fire across your skin. He pushed you flush against his chest as his lips brushed against yours, breath fanning your face. 

“You gonna undress or do you want me to do it for you” a snicker left his lips as he watched you pout.

“Kuna be nice…” but nonetheless you stepped back and slowly peeled off each article of clothing, revealing more and more to sukuna. The tightening in his pants became more apparent once he saw you completely bare. He knew you'd be beautiful, but this level of imperfection felt illegal. Every peak and curve of yours looked so plush and soft, he wanted to kiss every inch of you. He wanted to caress your hips and feel as the goosebumps rose on your skin. But it wasn’t like him to voice all of that. Approaching you again, he leaned down and brushed his lips on yours again, but this time he kisses you. 

“Nice rack” Ignoring the sarcastic response you gave him in return, he reaches up to cup one of your breasts feeling the weight of it. His thumb brushed over your pebbling nipple, and the soft sigh you left out was better than he ever imagined. Sukuna pulled you towards your bed, making you lay back on your pillows. He pulled your thighs apart, but you quickly snapped them shut. “Well, how will you lose your V-card like that, let me see baby?” he slapped your thigh lightly urging you to open up again. Once you do he groans as you spread your lips for him, already so wet there were strings of arousal connecting. The two of you stayed like that for a while, you spreading yourself for him and Sukuna watching every twitch and clench. “Have any of them made you cum before?” you shake your head. He wanted to hunt them all down, but that’s for another time. “Have you ever made yourself cum?” you nod. “Then show me, sweetness.” he leans back on his heels. Sukuna had dreamed of being in this situation for so long, he’s going to make the most of it. 

“Kuna…I-” he raises his eyebrow at you again waiting for you to follow instructions. As instructed you brought one hand to circle around your clit. The way his eyes focused on the way you circled your bundle of nerves made even more slick drip from your pussy. You brought your other hand up to pinch and pull on one of your hardened nipples. Sukuna couldn't help but palm at his bulge, the ache too much to ignore as you sped up. 

“Put your fingers inside” he urged nearly drooling

“But that's never felt good when they did it” you whine moving your fingers faster. You were already close like this. Between the feeling of your own fingers and the way he watched, was enough to send you over the edge, but that was cut short. Sukuna huffed and slapped your hand away. The feeling of your orgasm depleting ripped a sob from your throat, but you were quickly shut up by one of his fingers prodding at your hole. 

“I'm not them” and with that he ducked his head between your thighs and watched the way your cunt sucked his finger in, just begging for another. He grew dizzy with the sweet musk that was coming from you. Sukuna could not believe he was face to face with what he dreamed about. His lips made their way to your pulsating bulb, giving it gentle kisses before enveloping it completely and giving you a harsh suck. You've never been touched like this before and this new sensation sent electricity throughout your whole body. Why didn’t you ask Sukuna to do this sooner? The rumors about him were true. 

“K-Kunaa, moree. M-more” your back arched so prettily for him when he added another finger, saying something about “yer greedy cunt” but the pleasure he was giving you was so overwhelming you couldn’t really focus on anything. He moved away from your clit down to get a taste of you, thumbing at your bundle of nerves while finally getting a taste of your honey pot. The groans he let out went straight to your cunt making you ooze more, earning more groans of approval. 

“Mm, you taste so sweet~. Can't believe it took so long for me to get a taste” he watched your face contort into that of pleasure and he wanted so badly to sink inside you, but he was enjoying being between your thighs too much to quit now. As soon as he started to fuck his tongue inside of your hole he couldn’t help but rut his hips against your sheets. The taste of you was making sukuna absolutely drunk. Never in his life has some pussy made him so desperate to nearly cream in his own boxers. He made mental notes of every reaction you had, recording every twitch and shiver you had to memory. 

You heard stories but you didn’t know just how messy of an eater he was. The sounds of him devouring you were so sinful and embarrassing, but the sound of him slurping and lapping at your cunt brought you closer and closer to cloud nine. If it wasn't for the vice grip you had on Sukuna’s pink locks or the way he pinned you down by your thighs you fear you’d simply float away. And oh when he locked eyes with you as he pinched your clit you saw a glimpse of the pearly gates. Your thighs clamped around his head as he drank everything you gave him. He continued to lap at your twitching pussy pushing you towards overstimulation.  If sukuna had it his way he would have spent another three hours with his face buried in your cunt, but you were desperately trying to push his head away with soft moans of “kuna please”.  Reluctantly he parted away from you with a kiss to your clenching hole and sat back on his knees admiring his handy work. Your pussy was a wet mess of your slik and his spit and oh did it make his dick jump with the way you lazily palmed at your breast, pupils completely blown as you wait for what you wanted, what you needed from him. 

“S-sukuna that was ssoo good” You watched as he whipped your remaining juices off his mouth and chin smirking wildly.

“Told you I wasn’t like those little boys you fucked around with” he leaned down capturing your lips in a passionate kiss that took no time to develop into a clash of tongue and teeth. The taste of yourself on his tongue made you moan into his mouth. The throbbing you felt started to become more and more unbearable as he kissed down your neck biting and nibbling here and there.

“Fuck… hurry I wanna feel you” You spread your legs making more room for him, bucking your hips up in desperate attempts to feel him. Sukuna groaned at the sight, wasting no time to discard his clothes, freeing his aching erection from the confines of his sweats. The size of him made you drip even more. How could you crave something so much when you've never had it? You don’t know but the need for him is burning through you. You wanna taste him, taste the pretty pearlescent pre that leaks from his tip in fat globs, lick the vein running on the underside of his cock, suck on the tip, feel the weight of him in your mouth, and see if he lets out pretty moans of your name. But you’ll save that for next time, hopefully, there will be a next time. Without realizing it you began to rub your clit as you watched him, his voice snapped you out of the trance.

“Cock drunk already? Playing with that pretty pussy just from the sight of my cock, oh I'm flattered” he cooed as he crawled back between your legs, heavy cock bobbing with his movements. His arrogance always got to you, but in this setting it made you crave him more. His cockieness made your cunt throb with anticipation. All you did in response was whine, something sukuna wasn't used to. No snarky sarcastic comeback, no punches, just whines and your hands desperately trying to pull him closer and it was driving him absolutely insane. He grabbed the base of his cock and lined it up with your entrance, dragging the tip up and down your slit and circled around your swollen clit a couple more times. The warmth radiating off of you felt soo good on him, but you guided his face to look back up at you causing him to stop his movements. 

“ ‘Kuna...w-wait. Please, could you be gentle?” the question came out barely audible, the vulnerability made your cheeks burn. He smiled in return, not his normal shit-eating grin, but one of sincerity. 

“ ‘Couse pretty baby. Need you to enjoy your first time, cant ruin my rep now can I?” he leaves a kiss on your forehead, and then goes down to capture your lips, not the clash of teeth and tongue as before. This one felt like more. In truth sukuna cared nothing for his reputation, as of right now he wanted to make you feel as good as possible. The newfound gentleness was new territory for him, but for you it felt like he needed to take his time and do things right. After giving you reassurance and promises of taking care of you, you gave sukuna the “okay” he needed to finally push into you. He felt the way you tensed up at the intrusion, but he was quick to shush you, kissing the tears away as he played with you clit to distract you from the stretch with each inch he sank into you. 

“Oh f-*hic*-uck, it’s...you’re so much I-. more please more” The feeling of him pressed all the way in you was nothing like you’ve felt. The stretch melted from uncomfort to unfathomable pleasure and you needed more. The twitch you felt from him inside you let you know that he felt just as good. In one swift motion, he pulled out just to the tip and pushed back in, the drag of him against your walls making you clench.

“Fuck your so t-ight even after all that work. You gotta relax… baby, f-fuck” his brows knitted together. The vice grip you had on him is going to make him cum prematurely, and he can’t have that. You tried your best to relax some but the way he fucked into you was way too good, and when he angled his hips up it was over. Your breath hitched, you've never reached that spot yourself and now you were seeing stars with the way he abused it. Over and over he bullied himself into you and right to that spongy spot. The moans you let out of his name only fueled sukuna more, rutting into you faster and harder. He promised to be gentle but the way you squeeze and drip around him made that impossible. The sound of your squelching pussy and his balls smacking against your ass was intoxicating, addicting. The sudden fluttering of your walls broke sukuna out his trance. 

“Kunnaaa I-Ithink..c-cum. I’mgonna cum” you moaned and moaned as you wrapped your arms around his neck pulling him down for a kiss. Your moans were swallowed up by him in the messy kiss, mixed drool rolling down your chin. He pulled away pressin his forehead against yours whispering praises on how good you're making him feel and how good you're taking him.

“If you're gonna cum, cum. Lemme see what pretty face you make when you feel good” and the huskyness of his voice was the last push you needed to cream all over him. You arched off the bed, eyes rolling to the back of your head as silent moans left you. The spasms of your walls hurled him towards his own release. The way you try and milk him and suck his cock back in makes his thrusts sloppy. “Oh fu-ck, fuck. Youfeelsogood. So good. Virgin pussy is mine, taking my cock so well. Tell me its mine, yeah? Mine to fuck mine to- shit im gonna cum, whe-” his babbles get cut off before he can even finish his question.

“In-inside. Please i wanna feel you inside” and at that moment Sukuna makes a mental note to delete his booty call list. You are all he wants, all he needs. With the last remnants of his composure, he folds you completely in half, reaching even deeper than before. He felt so impossibly deep you swear you could feel his cockhead in your womb.  

“Fuck you're too good. Want me to fill you up? Fill up your pussy, yeah? Augh! Are you c-cuming again? Oh Oh-” he moans the loudest he’s ever had as he falls over on you. His body going completely stiff as thick ropes or his hot cum fill you to the brim. Sukuna was derailed by how caught off guard he was by his own orgasm. He has never came as hard as he did, body trembling as he tried to ride out both your highs. And oh he came so much, you feel both your releases oozing out before he even pulls out. The two of you stay like that for a little while, kisses here and there. Coos and caresses exchanged. 

“Thank you, Ryo…I think I get why you're a whore now.” and you break into a fit of giggles as he rolls his eyes in response. 

“Yeah whatever. You shoulda let me hit sooner baby.” he said kissing the corner of your mouth

“Baby? You called me that a lot. Am I your baby?” you raised an eyebrow jokingly, attempting to tease him,

“You wanna be? Sweetheart just say the word and im yours. All yours, Only yours” he was serious this time, no hint of playfulness, no teasing. 

“Take me out on a date”

“I already started planning it”

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⟢🐝notes: Sooor sorry it took so long chat. Hiii new followers hiiiii, sorry if you were waiting on this for too long （；´д｀）ゞ. I would blame college and work but like, also i've been doing nothing but play stardew 🌚. I HOPE IT WAS OKAY!!! Again im always open to feedback! And maybe i’ll do requests?? Idk if i have time ill do it. I think asks are open? Im fairly new to creating on here so idk...

Okay baiiiiiii (≧∇≦)ﾉ

[no1ryomafan]

Listening to the Big O soundtrack while doing a homework assignment makes me appreciate the ost more for two sole reasons:

It has multiple Leitmotifs, it’s not just that one song. A lot of songs seemingly reuse similar instruments or elements so it’s very cool it’s a trend.

It’s preventing my fucking mental breakdown from this assignment

[k-zuzu]

연준

yeonjun 𖹭 gn!reader

i don't want to be just another college memory.

synopsis: y/n lives a completely different life from the mr. smart and perfect popular jock also known as choi yeonjun. they stumble upon each other's lives and can't seem to get away. a typical romance story.

wc: 4.8k

content: slow burn oneshot, puppy love, college AU, frat party, alcohol consumption, mentions of suicide, eventual suggestive makeout sesh, mature audiences only, almost getting caught, mentions of suicide, idk why but feat. bang chan and changbin of SKZ, also hannah bahng is in here 'n she is dating taehyun?, not proofread, lowercase intended.

zuzu's note: main masterlist. this was written so long ago, i tried to salvage it and proof read it but i gave up at some point. - july 2024

teaser:

“i got the part for... ji-sung.” you say, voice soft and shy.

“oh really?” the tall man asks. you're not sure if it's sarcasm or genuine intrigue but there's a gentle smile on his pretty red lips. “i guess we'll be having a few scenes together. let's formally meet. i'm choi yeonjun.”

it's been a few weeks since the semester started and you're fitting in quite well — college wasn't really what you expected, it's so... adult. you didn't realize how pampered you were until now. most of your classmates are dormies and runaways. one of them offered for you to host a drinking party at your place to which you kindly rejected because you knew how those usually ended. you actually live with your older brother and you hung out mostly with the introvert group of your major since the extrovert group seems a little intimidating. everything is still so new, you haven't memorized any of their names and you're just going by the flow which wasn't the best choice.

you're the type of student who thinks classmates are just classmates and not friends since you're already content with the little life you have with your online friend group, older brother, and the kpop groups you watch and obsess over in your free time... in secret. literally nobody knows except your brother since everyone thinks it's cringe for some reason, but you don't really understand, you're not the borderline obsessed psychopath fan everyone stereotypes with kpop fans — nobody is really, it's really rare, it's just like obsessing over a band, but kpop is different in every better way and— you just can't explain it.

at school, your communications professor mentions something about a stage play the college is hosting that the arts programs are collaborating in — theater, visual artists, media arts, and everyone was allowed to audition and he encouraged the class, the auditions were in a few days and you were a little interested. when class was over, hannah walked up to you and asked if you were interested in joining it, she saw the way you perked up when the professor brought it up. she told you how she was really eager to join and she had no one else to go with, one thing led to another and you accepted (mostly because of peer pressure). an audition wouldn't hurt, and if you got a part, then... hooray? you already knew the basics of theater anyway — a loud voice, don't hide your face, the whole upstage/downstage thing, you loved theater and being in one would be pretty cool.

walking down the hallway with hannah to your next shared class, your shoulder briefly brushed against someone else's but you paid it no mind. it's a crowded hall and it's bound to happen — but that person turned around to get a glimpse at the cause of his slightest inconvenience before continuing to walk with his friends...

choi yeonjun.

the semester had just started but he's already the star with current students and seniors. not only was he smart enough to get a fully paid scholarship, he comes from a decently rich family with a prestigious background — an only child with a doctor mother, firefighter father, and he's just super family oriented, sociable with a great sense of humor, a handsome face and a large friend group and fanbase, plus, he's super kind! it's impossible not to fall for his charms. 0 enemies since birth. literally the standard for all of humankind.

and you have never heard of him.

not everyone in the shool has heard of him or knows him, it's a huge campus, it's not the cliché “girls will kill his girlfriend if he gets one” type of deal, his “fanclub” is very respectful and they just admire him for how awesome he is. he gets invited to every party to liven things up, he's just really fun to hang out with even for a second he'll give you the best impression and will leave you wanting more. yet he has such stable grades and does so well in basketball with 0 distractions. not one mistake in this man's life.

so when he turns back to see the one person who didn't even look back at him, he's, needless to say, a little interested.

the next few days, you're at the audition and you're watching everyone else try out on stage for a character named Trisha, who was an American activist... Hannah was up next for the same role and she was really nervous but you encouraged her, lifting up both your firsts. “fighting!!” you say and she does the same pose and says the same as she gets up and grabs the script, going on stage. as she reads her lines, another student goes to sit next to you and, again, you pay no mind as you want to witness your friend perform and you're afraid of social situations.

“is that your friend up there?” a voice asks, and you look over ever so slightly.

“huh? oh, yeah.” you say, and go back to watching her.

“are you also auditioning?” he asks and this time you fully look at the face trying to make small talk with you. you were never a fan of small talk, but damn... he's hot. he's most definitely a senior, probably graduating soon. you think to yourself.

“yeah, actually... park sol.” you reply which causes him to quirk a brow.

“same.” he chuckles and you smile a little bit.

“...well... may the best one... win?” you attempt.

"not with that attitude, you won't."

“thank you for that very endearing audition, hannah bahng.” the director closes his notebook and you watch as hannah bows deeply on the stage, a wide smile slapped across her face and you slowly applaud for her, yeonjun observes as you clap and copies your action.

the results don't come until the next few days, a paper is posted on your block for the cast of the upcoming stage play “spirited together” and when you see your name, you were shocked to see you got another part you didn't audition for: hwang ji-sung... you vaguely remember his character description. he was one of the ghosts in the play — park sol's classmate and best friend who committed suicide. yeah. then you look to see who got trisha's part... it wasn't hannah. you frown a bit, disappointed that you got a part in a play she wanted to be in. your eyes look back up to the list and you check whoever got park sol's and it was some rando named 'choi yeonjun'. huh. could it be the dude from yesterday? not bad. you think to yourself.

“that's interesting.” a familiar voice walks up to you and you look up next to you to see him. of course. “i don't know your name but the one across park sol's surely isn't yours...” he muses, a smirk on his face as he looks down condescendingly on your small form.

“well, is it yours?” you ask back. not wanting to make assumptions that he got the part and he just looks at you with a deadpan expression, one hand holding the strap of his backpack. the two of you make eye contact before staring back at the paper in complete silence. “well, i got the part for... ji-sung.” you say silently.

“oh really?” yeonjun asks, you're not sure if it's sarcasm or genuine intrigue but there's a gentle smile on his pretty red lips. “i guess we'll be having a few scenes together. let's formally meet. i'm choi yeonjun.” he turns to face you fully, then glances at the paper to see who got the part for ji-sung, and his eyes flicker back down to you. "so you're y/n?"

“...y/l/n.” you face him as well, then glance back at the paper then around the room. subtly avoiding eye contact, then you look back at him. “i have... a class soon. so.” you begin to walk away from him but he stops you.

"is hannah in that class?” he asks casually and you just slowly shake your head and he nods "'kay." and he waves goodbye. you're curious as to how he knows her yet not too interested to waste your time with it and you head to your last class of the day.

once the class is over, the sun is about to set and you're completely out of energy. your mind is set and ready to just make some cup noodles for dinner and pass out on your bed, not expecting any social interaction after you stuff all your things in your locker and begin to walk out of campus, just passing by the campus gate when a loud, very loud, group of friends is also leaving at the same time as you — they came from the gymnasium as you're aware there's a basketball club and their court is right next to your building, you don't even try to see it but you didn't expect to see a familiar head of pink hair in that group of people. you're aware of how the basketball club is well known in the school so you're surprised he's not as popular as you expected him to be, especially with his looks.

his pretty red lips in his beautiful cheeky smile as he laughs at something his friend mentions and you can't help but feel a little energized at his presence. seeing him felt like a breath of fresh air, but you know he wouldn't talk to you, so you sigh, look away, and continue on your own path, effectively minding your business. your house it's a walkable distance from campus, but your brother insisted that he'd pick you up at the bus stop after class, so you sit at the bus stop and scroll through your phone out of boredom. the familiar loud voices can be heard in the distance, though you try to tune it out, you hear two voices yelling out “bye's” and “take care's” as the group disbands.

“oh. y/n!” yeonjun goes to sit next to you. you're still a bit shy and awkward so you just bow your head slightly and chuckle as a greeting. he is still with his friend so you didn't want to interrupt anything and you continued on using your phone. yeonjun also didn't want to seem rude and make small talk again since it seemed like you were uninterested, so he just continues talking with his friend near you while they waited for a bus, you can't help but eavesdrop and they're talking about... you? ballsy.

"how did you meet them?" his friend inquired curiously. "they are indeed cute," he added, but yeonjun reprimanded his friend, telling him it wasn't appropriate. his friend merely shrugged and said it was a compliment. as the bus arrived, yeonjun's friend boarded the bus first, followed closely by yeonjun. before entering, yeonjun smiled softly at you and waved, prompting you to wave back in return.

a few days passed by, and you've had script readings and rehearsals together, but there hasn't been much interaction with other cast members, particularly yeonjun. he just seems so kind and approachable, yet you can't help feeling nervous about talking to him. he's formed bonds with the other cast members so quickly, leaving you to feel like just a mere acquaintance. you shake your head, reminding yourself that you're probably just another person to him. you try to curb your delulu thoughts of everyone being in love with you solely because you think you're cool.

you hang out with hannah during lunch and sometimes invite her to your house to drink some soju and watch kdrama — she's fine with your obsession with korean media btw and she also enjoys kdrama and the cheesiness accompanied with it. yeonjun starts to recognize you more in hallways and from afar but you're always, and i mean always with hannah, and he began to doubt your relationship with her and now he's kinda sad if u two are dating even tho he never admittedly had a crush on you yet.

after your preliminaries and a day before the stage play, you and your introvert group of friends visit the mall for a small celebration in a restaurant, then you go to the third floor to visit the arcades when you see two familiar faces — yeonjun and his friend. hannah seems to know his friend and she walks up to him. “taehyun? what are you doing here?”

“you know me and yeonjun are basically attached to the hip.” he nonchalantly says and you can't help but feel a little left out. you awkwardly glance at yeonjun and accidentally make eye contact, then you look at hannah, gently tugging at her shirt and pointing to the rest of your friend group who have entered the arcade already.

“see you. i guess.” hannah pointedly eyes taehyun up and down like... judgmentally. she later mentions that they're church mates and that taehyun is their drummer, and she's the singer and you're like ohhhhh.

“so, you know how me and yeonjun are in the play together.” you innocently bring up and she just nods.

“uh, yeah, you brought him up like twice today. everybody recognizes his name.”

“yeonjun? really?” you find that hard to believe since you only ever knew him through the play and you've never heard him anywhere else.

it was d-day the stage play. it was to be performed twjce today and tomorrow held in a theater not too far from town. you were doing a dress rehearsal of the play on the big theater stage without equipment and after your final scene you're walking down the stairs to the backstage when you almost trip on your face, and another one of the actors catches you in his arms— “woah, you good?” you recognize him to be choi soobin who added you on your social media. you know he's a senior so you rarely hang out or talk with him but he's so admittedly attractive. you chuckle a little as you steady yourself and bow your head in apologies and he chuckles back.

“y/n in communications, right?” he asks as he fixes his necktie, he plays the principal of the school. you nod and chuckle as you play with your fingers.

“you're mr. soobin...” you mumble. and he just chuckles at how cute you are as he puts on his glasses for his next scene and climbs to the next scene, you don't miss the wink he gives you as he goes up the stairs and minds his own business. you're blushing so hard and as you turn on your heel and you see yeonjun loosening his necktie nonchalantly as if he didn't just witness you flirting with someone in the cast.

“i thought you had a girlfriend.” he blankly states as he unbuttons his dress shirt and you look away awkwardly as he changes into something more comfortable.

“excuse me?” you ask and he just shrugs as he dabs his sweaty face with a handkerchief and sprays a mist on his angekic features.

“you know, hannah?” he asks and you're just like... face palm.

“no? lmao, we're literally just friends. besides, she's allowing taehyun to court her.” you laugh as you test random shades of foundations you find on the makeup table backstage and yeonjun just nods understandingly as he fixes his hair in the mirror, and then soobin enters the backstage, and everyone else enters the backstage and it's no longer just you two.

later into the day, your next performance is in two hours and everyone is preparing their wardrobe and props and you're having some prosthetics put on your face since your character is a ghost who committed suicide and had half of their face crushed on the fall, and as you're getting your prosthetics done, yeonjun is sitting next to you having his makeup done in silence when you calmly ask if he has any music on his phone since yours is dead and he just replies a nonchalant “knock yourself out.” and he places his phone on the table 'n your just like...? okay. as you grab it, literally nobody has been so chill with their phone like that. so casually, you mischievously sneakily change his wallpaper to a forehead selfie you just took with his phone and begin playing a random spotify playlist he has.

“lmao is this your playlist?” you ask as 'careless whisper' begins to play and he chuckles.

“no, that's my father's. he enjoys the whole old music thingy... cuz... he's old.”

“do you enjoy it?” you ask and he just shrugs.

“i listen to all kinds of music... they're all a bop as long as it has a good beat or message i'd listen to it.” and you nod at his response. makes sense.

“i like hannah's music though.” Yeonjun casually brings up 'n ur like “does he like hannah?” but you just shake your head and dismiss the ridiculous thought.

“yeah, she's a great musician.” you agree and you pick his phone up again to skip the song. “you have any games?” you ask as you look through his phone and he chuckles.

“i have one basketball game... and bitlife.” he mumbles.

“Lord, just get a room you two.” your makeup artist just complains and you two giggle like a bunch of school children, you look over to yeonjun and can't help but feel a little more motivated at the fact that he didn't try to deny it.

the play is over and, well, you two don't really keep in touch anymore. you're in completely different majors and blocks and live two completely different lives. honestly, there wasn't anything romantically strong with your interactions and you didn't think it was worth staying acquainted afterward — especially since you were so distracted with somebody else who kept messaging you... soobin. your senior who seems really interested in you and wasn't afraid to court you. and he's cute. and tall. and reminds you of a rabbit.

he's not super smart and honestly has a great personality, you were obsessed with his looks and voice and the fact that he was a senior and very obviously interested in you was driving you crazy, and you were mostly flirting back and forth... you never really flirted with anyone like this and, well, why not with someone who actually shows some interest in you? it's sad, really, he eventually confesses that he likes you even though it was obvious, but you'd feel so awful if you rejected him now after 'leading him on' for a few months.

you didn't actually like him, you just smiled at his cute texts and was always really nice to him.. and he had an adorable pet hedgehog! and... you didn't expect him to confess so soon. but you tell him to take you on a date first and you'll see how it goes. you post it on your story eventually. “first date with a cutie” or smth and yeonjun can't help but “jokingly” reply “don't go on that shit” 'n ur just like “okay 💀” but you go anyways.

the date was super fun and enjoyable, you first went to the park and took photos, but it was a little hot so you went the food park nearby to buy drinks, then went to the arcade and he attempted DDR which you were shocked when he was super talented in dancing and as the sun set, there was a christmas event at the same park so many lights and then it started snowing. but as he walked you back to your doorstep you realized it all felt so platonic to you... and you hugged him goodnight at the promised curfew your brother gave you and said goodbye to your handsome first date.

yeonjun really wants to ask for details but it's not his place, you two barely talk recently and he honestly doesn't know why he's so interested!! it's your life, you can do whatever the damn hell you want. he irritably throws his phone against the mattress and begins to do his homework as a stress reliever.

a christmas party is being held at hannah's house, ofc ur invited and ofc taehyun is invited so OFC yeonjun is invited, also bang chan and ur brother are acquaintances so they're drinking together on the rooftop. as hannah manages the rest of the party. honestly, the first big party you've attended without your entire family and with people who are your age and not relatives so you were just a little shy when it came to everything. you were in the kitchen when 'perfect blues' started playing, you felt most comfortable there as you drank your 3rd alcoholic beverage of the night — unafraid of getting wasted since this is your bsf's house.

“how'd the first date go?” yeonjun smoothly walks up to you and you laugh.

“didn't work. i didn't feel romantically attracted to him. broke his heart.” you said coldly as you took a sip of your drink and he just sips in air and tilts his head.

“ooh, y/n is cold... who knew.” he teases and you just laugh.

“what can i say, i gave him a chance and it didn't work... maybe my heart just belongs to someone else.” you whisper near him before leaving your drink on the counter and heading toward the couch, sitting in between taehyun and hannah and taehyun is just like? so offended n ur like “hannah can i bang someone in your house?” and she leans in so interested and taehyun looks less offended.

“PLEASE tell me it's...” he manifests, his hands together as he stares at the ceiling.

“it's yeonjun.”

“yes.” you hear taehyun whisper as he fist bumps hannah behind you.

“anywhere but mine and chan's bedroom, i hate to say this but taehyun lend them some of your condoms. bang safe.” she winks.

“oh, yeonjun has a few with him at all times.” taehyun casually just spills and hannah and you shrug like what did you expect honestly.

now with permission, you're looking around the house for the one and only, tipsy but conscious enough to know you want this and you've been wanting this—but not conscious enough to know the rational side of you would most definitely regret this, when you find him leaning against a wall talking with someone you just stare at them until they're done and he's like “hi?” and when you stay silent he's like... “you're drunk.” and you just shake your head.

“can we talk?” you ask.

“okay, sure.” he nods and you lead him to one of the guest bedrooms and you both sit down on the bed and you're just like...

“so... i've never really been one for college life. honestly, not even school life. and all of a sudden i'm some sociable college person and... i thought i'd just be... some silent student focusing on their studies and my personal life outside of school, and that all of my classmates would just be classmates and that was it but... then i met hannah and we became closer than ever i'm convinced we're forever bff's, and, then...”

yeonjun urges you to continue and you just lay down on your back “and then i went on my first date. and then...” you look at him, making eye contact. “i guess i've always liked you... but i... my first date experience didn't end so romantically so i guess i felt a little scared... and i wanted to keep you as... i guess just some college memory of the first boy i actually really fell for.” you say with a raspy voice. the muffled club like music in the background added to the ambience — the guest bedroom designed to be sound proof so not only can sound not get out but it's protected from sounds outside as well because both chan and hannah make music, it's only natural for their guest room... but yeonjun sees this as an advantage and he just looks at you, thinking of every possibility right now.

he settles for going on top of you, both hands by your ears, and then he leans on his forearms to go closer to your face and you're so shocked by the sudden closeness... you've never been this close to anyone before. and i mean anyone and you're just so nervous you close your eyes. “how drunk are you?” yeonjun asks and you gently open your eyes a little bit half-lidded.

“drunk enough to know i want this, not too drunk that you'll be taking advantage of me. i can consciously say that i'll take responsibility for anything that'll happen tonight.” you reply and yeonjun immidiately, hungrily, slams his lips onto yours. it's such a fiery, passionate kiss he's practically eating your lips. he bites your bottom lip and slips his tongue, the classic tactic, but nobody has ever done it to you and it's all moving so fast you could barely process how super fucking hot it was or the fact that his tongue is exploring your mouth right now and he's moaning against you.

he sucks on your bottom lip once, twice then he kisses your jaw, then he goes up to the back of your ear. and marks you right there, and he stops for a moment to take you. “i don't want to be just another college memory. God, y/n...” he whispers against your skin. you're so close to each other yet he wants more. you turn to look at him and you make eye contact for the first time in awhile and you cup his cheek and he leans into it, eyes closed and you place a soft kiss on his plump, red, wet lips and he lets out such a cheeky smile as he stares into your beautiful eyes.

“you're so beautiful like this.” he whispers, alcohol breath intoxicating your senses and you close your eyes.

“you're way more beautiful.. everyday, every time i see you in the hallway.” you confess and he smiles, kissing you on the lips again and again and you open your eyes.

“i was always jealous whenever i saw you hanging out with someone.” he confesses, and you kiss his lips.

“that's a little possessive.” you state and he chuckles.

“you want to see possessive?” you're not sure if he's flirting or joking. maybe both and you like it. he leans over and catches your mouth in a different kiss. it's passionate but less fiery than earlier, more romantic and gentle and he pushes you over to change your position into a more comfortable one as he slowly makes out with you and you moan against his mouth and he just found that so fucking sexy. your hands are now exploring his back, then his neck to his fluffy pink hair and you start playing with it as he sucks on your tongue then your lips and he groans a little, his pants beginning to feel a little restrained. and you grab his shoulder, the other hand moving to palm him through his pants.

he has to stop for a moment to let out the softest moan, he attempts to unzip his pants and you put your hand down his underwear, stroking his length without even seeing it first and he just wants to cum right then and there so badly, the way you hold his dick is so adorable he just wants to treasure this moment forever — but he knows from now on there are going to be many moments to treasure. he moves down to kiss you again—

click.

the sound of the door opening shocks you both. in a frenzy, you quickly pull your hand out of yeonjun's underwear and push him away, he futilely attempts to zip his pants up while you try to fix your hair as a man walks into the room.

it's bang chan. he peaks his head in. “o-oh...!" he exclaims as he slowly processes the situation. "hi...y/n... yeonjun... s-sorry! i really didn't mean to interrupt!” he shuts the door. “and use protection!” you hear his muffled voice through the door.

“woah, what was that, who was he with in there?” you hear changbin exclaim through the door as well. he also happens to be yeonjun's good friend. which makes the hairs on yeonjun's arm lift. the two of you just sit there for a good moment, eyes locking and you erupt into silent laughter. you're a little embarrassed and flustered but you're not ashamed — you got permission, found a room, and you take responsibility for whatever happens, but now you can't really continue, can you?

“maybe next time...” yeonjun mumbles, a little breathless and you nod in agreement, a bit disappointed. “i can take you to dinner tomorrow though, if you can...” he attempted, and you nod, offering him a small, sweet smile and he smiles back, knowing he finally has you... not officially, but he knows he'll make you his in no time.

[paperstarwriters]

People don't often interact with my #just thinking posts so Idk if people ever see it at all, but even then, I wanna throw this out there and just keep myself accountable.

Warning for Anxieties, implied suicidal ideation, academic stress

This is a post about some of my current struggles, I'm not talking about that in depth—the main point is more hopeful I think—but the topic is there.

there's been this song I've been listening on loop to recently; Look at the Sky by Porter Robinson. It's really sweet, and really nice and alongside, Something Comforting, Get Your Wish, and You are Enough (which, unlike the others is by Sleeping at last) it's a really uplifting and encouraging set of songs that has helped me out a lot in encouraging me through my studies.

As the semester comes to an end however, the stress continues to build and grow and with it, my panic and fear.

I have no official diagnoses, but I know well enough that there's something askew in there. A little tender part that's vulnerable to failure and stress and so many other things.

And this is why I just keep coming back to Look at the Sky.

It's the chorus.

Look at the sky, I’m still here I’ll be alive next year I can make something good, oh Something good

It reads like a promise to me. Mainly because of the second line.

I'll be alive next year.

I'll keep myself here, today so I can make it to next year.

Idk. Porter Robinson mentions how it's about the creative cycle of taking in other people's work to create a new tapestry of creativity, but I always linger on this song for my studies rather than any of my creative writing.

I'm not very good at what I'm studying at, and I can't help but associate my talent in the field with how much I should like it. The study is interesting, and when I'm not constantly worrying about failing projects or failing quizzes or failing exams, the content is fascinating and fun to learn.

But I don't do well on the assignments.

I'm not failing. I'm not so horribly behind on all my assignments that I know that I'll fail or something, but I can't help but feel the need to get at least 90% on everything. It's fear driven I think. My parents wanted that of me when I was a child. the sentiment continues to linger on in me.

I didn't do so great on a single assignment this time. It's for a project—one I need to complete in order to pass the class at all. But I messed up on the formatting and I left a few tails undone at the end. It was incredibly rushed and a miracle that I had it finished at all, but I still can't help the sickening feeling that I should have done better. Even if I was staying up way past what was healthy for me, something that would cause me general dizziness and heavy sickness later on in the day, I still felt like I should have exerted myself more to check up on it and get it nice and pretty and polished.

I haven't gotten my grade back for that assignment yet. and I can't help but feel sick thinking about it.

I know that logically, the portion of my grade that would be affected might be pretty small, and I've done pretty well in the rest of my assignments. I'll probably be able to pass the class.

Still I can't help the feeling that If I don't do perfect on every single assignment, I will fail.

I have to hand in a physical copy of the assignment tomorrow, I felt so sick going back over my digital copy— forced to look at all of my sloppy and messy mistakes. I felt fear looking at it.

I felt a lot of things, really. Nasty, dark and irrational things.

But...

I'm still here.

I'll continue to try and be here tomorrow too. And the day after that. I'll make it to next year.

And even if I don't do great in that class, I can still make it to the degree I want. It'll take a little stress and struggle, but I'll get there eventually.

And until then, I can still make good things—I can write the little stories, and one shots and fanfics that make me happy.

Look at the sky, I’m still here I’ll be alive next year I can make something good, oh Something good

I promise.

[let-me-write-shit]

You writing is soo cool, you're amazing! I don't know if you are taking requests, but what about a famous Y/N and meets professor Harry and he is like "I don't want to teach you, you are famous" and she is like "you are going to teach me and fall in love with me😏" and well, idk the idea just came to my mind and I thought of you to write it hahaha. Love your writing, keep doing it 'cause you are great!

 Word Count: 9,443 LONG AS SHIIIIT

WARNING: FILTHY SMUT!!!!!!!! (I put ******** before and after the smut so you can skip if you’d like

A/N: Thank you SOO much to @mylittleangel9403 for this request and I’m SOOOO sorry it took so long. Turned out a lot longer than I anticipated. Not sure if you wanted this to be smutty, but I just couldn’t help myself. Also, shoutout to @gwenlovesharrystyles for the help on this imagine! Much appreciated!!Enjoy!

Requests are OPEN! If you have a request for a blurb, oneshot, imagine, whatever, Send me a message HERE!!!

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Friendly reminder to please like and/or reblog. It helps more than you think :)

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Professor Styles

“Ma’am, respectfully, I’m not sure this is a good idea,” Harry leaned forward in his chair, fingertips pressed together, aware of the large presence that sat beside him, his voice almost a whisper. “We’re already several classes deep, and as you know, my class is very difficult. She’ll be at a disadvantage going in, not to mention the students already in my class. The distraction isn’t fair for them.”

“Professor Styles, I don’t need to tell you how much this means to our University. I understand your concern, and I have every faith in you to help miss Y/L/N catch up to speed and keep your students in-check.”

He could feel the eyes of the famous singer on him as she uncrossed her legs and sat straighter in her chair. In his peripheral, he could see her burly manager, who stood in the back against a wall, take a step closer behind them like a bodyguard waiting to pounce. But for some reason, Harry had the distinct impression that Y/N could do without protection. He thought she was tough enough.

“Sir,” Y/N spoke softly and respectfully. Harry turned, seeing a reflection of yellow in her eyes as the sun shone through the window onto them, and he couldn’t help but think she was putting on an act for the Dean. “I know that the circumstances are...unusual. But, I promise I will do everything in my power to not cause any distraction in your class. I’ll sit in the back if that helps. Whatever it takes.”

The young professor took a deep breath, taking in her words. He looked around the room in thought, feeling everyone’s attention on him all the while. Some of the rumors about her seemed to ring true. Y/N had this energy about her that made it difficult to focus or think straight. She hardly took her eyes off of him throughout this entire meeting.

Harry sighed in defeat and nodded, “Alright. I trust she’ll be given the syllabus and information on everything she’ll need for my class?” he asked the Dean.

But before the Dean could respond, Y/N chirped, “I’ve already gotten it and I’m prepared to start next week.”

“Well, that’s settled, then,” the Dean grinned, victoriously, “Welcome to our school, Miss Y/L/N. Unless you have any more questions, you are free to go.”

Y/N stood up with a smile, followed by the Dean and professor. She stuck out a hand and shook them, saying, “Thank you so much. I look forward to starting on Tuesday.”

Her burly manager opened the door for her and she began to make her way out. And as Harry collected his things to leave, the Dean quipped, “Oh, Professor Styles. Before you head to your next class, I’d like to speak to you for a moment.”

Harry watched as Y/N closed the door behind her, almost certain he saw a wink, before setting his things back down and taking a seat once more. He listened as the Dean encouraged him to do all that he can to ensure Y/N had a good experience here, explaining how big of a deal this was and how Y/N taking his class might encourage more students to enroll.

Harry listened, respectfully, but wanted nothing more than to roll his eyes. It annoyed him that he was expected to baby Y/N and bend to her will solely because she was a rich and famous singer, and he refused to play a part in that. If she wanted success in his class, she would need to earn it just like the rest of his students.

When they finished their conversation, he was already running late for his next class. Again, he collected his things and made his way out of the office. As he speed-walked through the administration, he was surprised to see Y/N still there, sat on a chair beside her burly manager, talking. When she noticed him, she instantly jumped to her feet and raced up to him.

“Hey,” she said, simply, keeping his pace as they continued out of the administration building and into the main campus.

“I’m running late to my next class, Miss Y/L/N. Did you have a question, or can this wait?”

Her voice was so flippant that it bordered arrogance, “Just wanted to thank you again for letting me join your class this late into the semester.”

“It’s not me you should thank. I don’t agree with it and I won’t baby you. You’ve got a lot of catching up to do. I suggest you start reading your books so you’re not lost in my next class. Your classmates have worked hard to get to where they are and I’d hate for you to be the reason for a halt in their progress.”

“I think you’ll find that not to be the case.”

She was so smug that it caught him off guard. The looming of her large manager two paces behind him as they hustled down the walkway was even more noticeable now, along with the many whispers and stares as they continued. He looked at her out of the corner of his eye, perplexed.

He debated whether to ask, not sure if he wanted to know the answer. Not wanting to show any sign of weakness or that he’d entertain her malarky. But his curiosity got the better of him.

“Miss Y/L/N, why are you taking my class?”

“Why not?” she smirked in response.

He sighed, annoyed that he was even going along with this, “We both know you don’t need to go to school, especially for Advanced Musical Theory. Why are you only taking my class?”

Her voice was softer and more sincere this time as she spoke, “I’ve always been interested in Music Theory and wanted to take it before my career kicked off. And I heard you were one of the best teachers in your field.”

For a split second, in that moment of sincerity, he thought he might have just seen her, the real her, behind all the fame and money and act. But her innocence faltered as she quickly shuffled in front of him, making Harry fumble to a stop.

Her eyes were more seductive now as she hushed, “Besides, I heard about how hot you were and I needed to see it for myself. And I’m not disappointed,” she looked at him through her eyelashes.

Harry could feel the warmth rise to his cheeks, extremely aware of her manager’s presence behind him and the few students nearby, staring. He was sure his face was bright red right now as Y/N’s smirk only seemed to grow.

Harry was aware of his reputation around campus for being the ‘hot teacher’. He wasn’t a stranger to the gossip or the occasional student trying to make a pass at him. And, honestly, his ego enjoyed it. But he’d never crossed that line with a student before and she would be no exception.

He did his best to compose himself and continued past her, Y/N following behind, “I’ll ignore that and just give you fair warning,” he started, “My class is hard and you will not be given special treatment just because you’re famous. I promised the dean I’d get you caught up, and I will. Your class is every Tuesday, and you can meet me in my office after each lesson for an hour for the next few weeks until we get you up-to-date on what you’ve missed. I will not play into your games.”

“Yes, Sir,” she pouted, teasingly, and again, jumped in front of him, holding a hand out and smiling, “Looking forward to next Tuesday.”

Harry looked at her suspiciously, pausing for a moment before ultimately giving in and taking her hand in his. But before he could respond, she pulled herself closer to him. So close that she was practically whispering in his ear.

“But just to warn you, not only will I ace your class, but by the end of the semester, I’ll make you call in love with me.”

Her breath was so hot and her words were so unexpected that he stood there, stunned, while she pulled away, winked, and walked back towards her bodyguard, heading back from where they just came from. She waved to a few students that recognized her, and she looked back once to blow a discreet kiss before she rounded a corner and was out of sight.

Harry watched after her, stunned at her assertiveness while people were watching. But he shook it off and continued to his class, mentally preparing himself to break the news to his students.

The anxiety in the week leading up to the start of Y/N’s first official day in Professor Styles’ class was becoming more frequently accompanied by the Dean’s constant checking in on him to make sure everything was ready, more students visiting or showing up to class, and even more excited whispers. Harry, on the other hand, did his best to push it aside, not getting what all the fuss was about.

He had done his best to prepare his students for their newly joined classmate, even sending out mass reminder emails to those in his class to please be courteous and warning them to avoid distraction. But when he pulled up to the school that day, he noticed more students than normal just hanging around, scanning all over campus like they were scouting for something.

Harry quickly realized that they were waiting to catch a glimpse at the famous singer and he snorted, rolling his eyes. Kids were so predictable. He slipped his lanyard with his ID around his neck, grabbed hold of his coffee and briefcase, and got out of his car, heading towards his classroom.

The Professor smiled and nodded at the students that greeted him in the hallway, proud that he knew each of them by name, continuing to his class. He knew his students would already be there, by now. Harry was usually always a few minutes late and he assumed that it gave his students more than enough time to ogle their new addition to the class.

But, when Harry rounded the corner and saw Y/N leaning up against the wall, arms crossed and alone, his nerves increased.

“Harry,” Y/N beamed when she spotted him, practically skipping over to him.

Harry raised his eyebrows, clearing his throat, “It’s Professor Styles,” he warned, earning a sarcastic nod while he continued, “Why are you not in class?”

“I thought we could go in together since I’m new.”

“I’m your professor, not your babysitter. Go on in next time,” he said as they approached the door. Before turning the knob, he paused and faced her, “While you’re here, I’ll explain to you what I explained to them on the first day. I’m a pretty easy-going teacher because I know how hard this class can be. You can eat in my class, you can have your phones out, you can come in wearing pajamas, I don’t care. However, the biggest rule in my class is that you treat people with kindness. We do not judge in this class. We don’t interrupt people or talk over others, we don’t make others feel inferior. My class is a safe space for people to be their authentic selves and we respect that. Can you do that?”

Y/N’s stance softened and she grinned, nodding, “Yes. I can do that.”

“Good,” Harry nodded, “I’d like you to take a seat towards the back of the class for today if you don’t mind. I’d rather they pay attention to me than the back of your head.”

“Whatever you say, Professor,” Y/N exaggerated his title, her lips twitching up in a lopsided smile.

He looked down at her for a moment, narrowing his eyes, trying to size her up, before he gave in and turned the knob to his class. The buzz from his students loudly chattering amongst each other instantly stopped when he walked in, closely followed by the singer. Harry vaguely noticed that not only was every single one of his students present, but they all looked slightly more put-together than normal. He snorted under his breath, dropping his briefcase on his desk, taking a sip from his coffee cup, and placing that down, as well.

“Morning!” He called out, earning a chorus of greetings in return. He gestured towards Y/N who was making her way up the steps towards the back of the class, “I’m sure you all know who this is. We are incredibly lucky to welcome Y/N in joining us this year.”

Y/N stopped climbing the steps to smile brightly and wave obscurely at everyone, “Hi!”

Harry nodded towards her to keep moving. She rolled her eyes, playfully, and continued while he explained, “I know we’re all excited to have her here, but I want to remind everyone that while we’re in the room, we’re all students, and that includes Y/N. Let’s all focus on what we’re here for, so we don’t get lost when mid-terms get here, yeah?”

After another muttering of agreeance, Harry noticed Y/N getting settled in the back and he nodded, starting the lecture, “Okay, what I’d like to do is a one-minute warm-up on today’s exploration on duple and triple meter. So, I need everyone to stand up.”

The rustling of chairs echoed and screeched as students got to their feet. Soon, they were marching along to Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds by The Beatles, everyone laughing and feet stomping on the ground. He felt proud, seeing all the smiling, attentive faces in his direction and happy that throughout the lesson, nearly everyone had seemed to grasp everything that he was saying.

But, each time he glanced up in Y/N’s direction, he noticed that not only had she not even so much as picked up a pencil or opened her laptop, she had not looked away from him even once. He made a mental note to reprimand her after class and continued on.

When the lesson came to an end, Harry thanked the class for their cooperation and the students began to pack up their belongings. He watched as Y/N was met by a group of kids who were considered to be more ‘popular’ around campus. He saw her friendly smiles, but could barely hear her over the noise.

Once Harry managed to gather his things and toss his now-empty coffee cup in the trash, he approached the group, earning a pleasant round of hello’s by the students. One of the girls, Jesse, made sure to bat her eyelashes a little more and lean closer than necessary as she spoke.

“Great lesson today, Professor Styles. I did have a few questions about musical texture and was wondering if we could meet privately so I could get some more clarity on that?” she asked, twisting a lock of hair around her fingers.

Harry was used to Jesse’s incessant attempts at flirting with him and getting him alone, but he never took the bait, “I’m sorry, Jesse, I have no free office hours available, right now. But please shoot me an email with all of your questions and I’ll gladly help you out.” He heard sniggering from her friends as her face shifted into disappointment and he turned to Y/N, “Miss Y/L/N, when you’re done here, please meet me in my office so I can get you caught up.”

“Yes, Professor, I’ll be right there.”

He waited twenty minutes before he finally heard a knock on the door. He had half a mind to ignore it and let her stand out there, annoyed that he was wasting time trying to help an entitled celebrity who clearly had no interest in his class. What was the point? But, he thought back to the Dean, and reluctantly made his way to the door.

“Your students seem to really like you,” she confidently walked in, taking a seat on top of his desk and tossing her bag on one of the chairs, crossing her legs. “Especially that girl, what’s her name? Jesse?”

Harry blinked and slightly shook her head back before closing the door and rounding the desk she sat on towards his chair, not bothering to give the statement a response. But that didn’t stop her from continuing, “She’s like, in love with you. Well, maybe not in love. But you definitely make her horny.”

“Y/N!” You shoot back at the brassiness.

“She’s hot, I’ll give her that. But she’s definitely got that ‘daddy money’ vibe to her. She and her friends invited me to a party next weekend. And that kid, Mark, gave me his number. He’s pretty hot, too. Looks like some kind of jock.”

Harry nodded, shuffling his papers, “He’s here on a full-ride soccer scholarship.”

“Damn, I’m good,” Y/N leaned back, pressing her palms flat against the top of his desk, impressed with herself.

Harry looked up at her, an eyebrow raised. He wished he could say that her confidence astounded him, but honestly, he wasn’t that surprised. He could hazard a guess that her success was probably all handed to her. She joked about another student being given ‘daddy’s money’, but if he had to guess, she was probably the same.

He set the stack of papers down beside where she sat on his desk and looked up at her with a sigh, “Miss Y/L/N, my desk is not a chair. Please have a seat.”

She slithered down off the desk and plopped in a chair opposite him, scooting it closer and crossing her arms on the top, waiting for him to speak.

He relaxed his shoulders and continued, “You didn’t participate much in class today.”

“Well, you told me not to be a distraction.”

“Yes, but you’re still a part of the class. I expect more participation from you in the next class. And that includes note-taking. You won’t pass my class from memory. For now, I need to get you caught up.

Harry spent the next hour trying to get her caught up on the very first day of his class, which she interrupted every ten minutes, or so, going off-topic or asking very personal questions like ‘do you have a girlfriend?’ or ‘how many students have you been with?’ None of which he answered. When there were about ten minutes left in their time together, Y/N interrupted for the eighth time that hour and Harry groaned, unsure that she had retained any of the information he had provided her so far.

“What made you want to do this? Teach Musical Theory?”

He looked up at her and paused for a moment and she stared at him, her head cocked to the side. She looked genuinely interested, and it wasn’t often that he got asked these questions. He decided he’d entertain her, just this once.

Harry slid the paperwork away from him and sat back in his seat, “I’ve just always been interested in music since I was a kid.”

“Yeah, so have I. That’s why I became a musician. There are so many jobs in the musical field, why music theory?”

“Well, I am a musician. Not as big as you, obviously, but I have a small band and we play gigs around town. But the more I deep dove into music and the history behind it, the more I got into musical theory. It was a hobby and a passion before it was a career. And I guess I just wanted to show people how fun and interesting it could be.”

Y/N nodded, seeming content with his answer before saying, “Well, for what it’s worth, I think you’re a good teacher.”

“You’ve only been in one class,” he chuckled, sitting up again and straightening out his papers once more.

She giggled, “Yes, but it doesn’t take long to know when a teacher is good or not. I see the way you interact with your students and hear the way they talk about you. Everyone seems to love you. It’s part of the reason why I chose to come here.”

“My reputation precedes me?” He raised an eyebrow.

“Something like that,” she grinned, before softly speaking, “You know, we’re not all that different, you and I. I’ve been passionate about music for as long as I remember,” she laughed and said, “I remember when I was seven years old my mom took me to the library and I must have read at least six books, cover to cover, about Chopin. I knew everything about him and even named my pet rabbit after him. Everyone thought I was crazy.”

“Classical music?” Harry questioned, surprised.

She nodded, sitting up, “I’ve played piano since I was two.”

Harry pursed his lips, nodding his head, “Never judge a book by its cover.”

They stared at each other for a moment, silence filling the room. She looked more innocuous now; harmless as she sat with one leg crossed over the other. By this small conversation she had, she could see bits of himself in her eyes and it made him bring his guard down. For a moment, he was fascinated.

But her expression changed, more curious, as she asked, “So, how many lucky girls get the chance to have this one-on-one time with hottie Professor Styles?”

Harry sighed, rubbing his temples, “You exhaust me.”

“Or guys, I’m not judging,” she shrugged, “Though that would totally suck for Jesse. She’s really crushing.”

“I’ve never dated a student and I never will,” he said blandly.

“Never say never,” she smirked, “Why not?”

“Because they’re kids and it’s inappropriate.”

“Kids?” she snorted, “You’re barely four years older than most of your students. And everyone is of legal age.”

“I am not having this conversation with you,” he said, packing his things, “Our time is up. I’ve got to get going. I’ll see you in class next week.”

She grinned, gathering her things together and following him towards the door. As he reached for the door handle, she quickly put a hand on top of his, stopping him from turning it and making him look down at her as she said, “Don’t forget, Professor. Never say never.”

He watched as she opened the door and slipped out, turning her head once to wink back at him before she rounded a corner.

Harry found himself nervous and somehow anxious for the following week to arrive. It was the first time for years he had gotten there before any of his students. Every time the door opened and a student arrived, surprised by his early presence, he noticed he would jump and whip his head in the direction of the door. He tried to tell himself that he was just jittery or had too much coffee this morning, but he knew that wasn’t the reason.

When Y/N walked through the door, he felt his heart start to race.

“Good morning, Professor,” she smirked at him as she made her way up the steps towards the back of the class.

He nodded but didn’t respond. He felt stupid for not knowing what to say. There were so many options; hi, hello, how are you? Nothing. Harry watched out of the corner of her eye as she made a dramatic show of pulling out a notebook and a pen, sitting back in her chair and propping her legs up on the desk, making her short skirt slip up her thigh even more, waiting while she tapped her pen on the paper while the other arm was crossed over her stomach and her thumb grazed against her mouth.

He shook his head, pretending to search his briefcase for something as more students started to arrive, annoyed at himself for letting her get to him. In his four years of teaching, this had never been a problem before. How was she doing it?

Y/N waved as the group of kids she was seen talking to at the end of the last class squeezed in and they all excitedly waved back, making their way back to the seats in the row in front of her, spinning in their seats to talk. He wondered what they were talking about each time he saw her laugh or look down at him and hold eye contact.

The lecture started smoothly. He had them do another goofy exercise to get them ready for the class and was able to keep everyone’s attention as he explained notes and scales. Harry noticed the singer scribbling down in her notebook and was relieved to see she was taking notes this time. But what shocked him, even more, was her participation. The Professor, although known to make teaching and learning fun, was also known to ask a lot of hard questions throughout the class. Most, of which, the students rarely knew the answers to. That’s why he was surprised to see Y/N’s hand raised after nearly every question he asked, and even more taken back when her answers were right. Every single time.

Students began to become amused, automatically looking in between the two when a question would arise, and giggling at the incredulous expression on his face when she had, yet again, gotten the answer right. If he didn’t know any better, he would bet that by next week the class would turn it into some kind of a drinking game. He could have sworn he saw Y/N giggle under her breath and even blow a kiss.

After class, once again, Y/N was grouped on the steps by the rows of desks with Jesse, Mark, and their other friends. Y/N would twirl her hair and smile towards Mark and seemed to have him wrapped around her finger, but Harry also noticed how she’d look over Mark’s shoulder at him and bite her lip. She knew he’d be watching, and he hated himself for it.

Quickly, he packed his things and left the room, heading to his office to wait for her there, wondering what they were talking about. He closed the office door behind him, tossed his briefcase on the floor beside the paper shredder, and decided against turning the lights on. He blamed it on a splitting migraine, but it was really because there were too many intrusive thoughts running through his mind that he was doing everything he could to ease it, including pacing the room.

The attempts, however futile, were short lived. Minutes later there was a soft knock on the door and Y/N emerged, closing the door behind her, strutting right past him, and plopping on top of his desk again.

“How was that for participation, Harry?” she asked, propping a foot on the arm of his chair which made her skirt shimmy up her thigh just enough that if he were to look, he was sure he’d be able to see what she was wearing underneath.

He took a gulp and fought hard not to look down, lightly pushing her leg off of the arm of his chair so that both of her legs now hung down, taking a seat and crossing his arms, “It’s Professor Styles, and you did very well in class today, Miss Y/L/N.”

“Told you that I’d be a good student,” but her smile turned devilish as she spread her legs apart further and bent down closer to him, “But I can be bad if you’d like.”

“Please get off my desk and take a seat, Y/N. We’ve still got a lot of catching up to do.”

“Whatever you say, Professor,” she exaggerated, slowly slipping off of his desk and rounding to the other side.

Again, Harry tried his best to catch her up on lessons she missed, but it hardly seemed to get anywhere with Y/N’s constant interruption of inconsequential questions and arbitrary thoughts that seemed to almost pour out of her mouth without thought. He couldn’t help but chuckle under his breath a few times. She wasn’t boring, he’ll give her that much.

The more she fought against his attempts at teaching her, the more he realized that they weren’t going to get anywhere unless he gave her a little of what she wanted. So when she asked, “Do you have a girlfriend?” he sighed and ran his finger through his hair, giving in.

“No, I don’t. And why do you insist on coming to these meetings if you aren’t going to pay attention?”

“I am paying attention. You were talking about themes and motives of the piano and violin in Beethoven’s Fifth Symphony,” she said, confidently, crossing her arms, “I just think that it would be easier to come to class and learn if I knew my teacher a little better.”

He rolled his eyes at this attempt, but a smile crept on his face anyway, “What do you want to know?”

She smiled, sitting up, eagerly, “Well, it’s good to know you’re single. When was the last time you were in a relationship?”

He sighed, uncertain why he was even taking part in this conversation, “A little over a year.”

“And you haven’t tried again since?”

He shrugged, “I’ve been busy.”

“Or you were heartbroken.”

The response stung a little. She was right. And that annoyed him even more. How did she do this? Get under his skin so easily? Instead of answering that, he retorted with, “Well, what about you? You’re obviously single, otherwise, you wouldn’t be flirting so much with your professor or the soccer star.”

Her smirk stretched wider, “Oh, are we jealous of Mike?”

He scoffed, grabbing the few pieces of paper off of his desk and attempting to organize it in the side filing cabinet, “No, I’m not jealous of a student.”

“Mhmm. Well, for your information we were just talking about the party they’re having this weekend.”

He tried his best to look confused, although he hadn’t been able to stop thinking about that party since she mentioned it last week, “Is that so?”

“Yeah, it’s on Saturday. Not sure if I’m going yet. I’m sure my manager and PR would have my head if I was caught getting sloppy at a college party. Not good for the image,” she whispered, rolling her eyes.

He shrugged, “College parties aren’t all that great, anyway.”

“I’m sure,” she said sarcastically, “Anyway, I have a concert the night before, so I’m usually exhausted by the next day. You should come.”

“To your concert?” he asked.

She raised an eyebrow, skeptically, “Unless you don’t like my music?”

Harry shrugged, “I haven’t really heard much of it,” he lied, “but my sister’s a big fan.”

“Well, I’ll put you down for a plus-one. As long as it’s just your sister.”

Harry felt a lump beginning to form in his throat and he shook his head, “I already have plans for Friday. But thanks, anyway.”

She shook her head, nonchalantly, “Well, offer still stands if your plans fall through.”

He tried his best to reroute the conversation back on topic and was thankful that she seemed to finally go along with it. But as it neared the end of the hour, he felt her eyes on his face more and more. He looked up in the middle of his sentence and froze when he saw her eyes on his. She seemed entranced and almost out of it. And something seemed to pull him into the same trance as her.

It was the first good look at her that he had gotten since their first meeting. Her skin looked soft and her eyes sparkled when the sun’s rays shone on them at just the right angle. He hadn’t noticed until now that the bridge of her nose was slightly elongated and somehow endearing. And her lips. Those lips.

Y/N shook her head and stood up. It was the first time that she seemed to be caught off guard, and that stroked his ego a bit. He glanced down at his watch and noticed that they had run overtime and he gasped. She seemed to realize, too. Hurriedly, they both began to collect their things, but in the frenzy, she accidentally flicked her pen off the desk and it ricocheted on his side, landing on the floor near his briefcase.

“Oh!” he heard her mutter, rounding the desk where they both hastily attempted to grab it.

Harry was the first to grab it and as they both stood up, they were face to face with each other, inches away. They froze, again, unable to move. He saw something in her eyes that he hadn’t seen before; nervousness. Y/N was always such a confident force, and to see her any less than that admittedly made him gratified, like he had obtained a victory. But he, himself, was losing the battle. She was breaking him down one wink at a time, and he had never felt so weak in his life.

He could feel the strain of his desire pulling him closer towards her, the gloss on her lips looked enticing. If no one stopped him soon, he wasn’t sure if he could hold off much longer. He saw her eyes begin to flutter shut as the gap between them closed. Her sweet, minty breath swirled in front of his lips, he could almost taste it. And then a loud knock on the door echoed around his office.

Y/N flew against the wall while Harry awkwardly knocked his elbow against the back filing cabinet just as Jesse haughtily belted into the room. Her wide smile slowly screwed up into trepidation at the awkward tension that filled the room as the professor and singer avoided eye contact with each other.

“Jesse!” Harry quickly spoke, “What can I help you with?”

“I’m sorry, I thought you’d be finished. I just had a few questions about the essay, but I can just email you.”

“No, no, it’s fine, come in. Y/N was just on her way out.”

“Okay, cool,” Jesse smiled, stepping in further and placing her things on the chair opposite his desk.

Harry watched as the two girls exchanged friendly smiles, but he could see the slight embarrassment behind Y/N’s as she made her way towards the door.

“Don’t forget about this weekend!” Jesse called out after her, “I’ve never seen Mark so excited for a party before.”

“Yeah, maybe,” Y/N faked a laugh, sharing one last concerned look with Harry before closing the door behind her on the way out.

All week he found himself analyzing all of the occurrences that led up to him and Y/N almost kissing. He debated his sentiments, trying to logic every feeling of vulnerability and affection away with a simple explanation. It was becoming increasingly more difficult to pay attention to his work, constantly stumbling over his words of forgetting what he was talking about. When his class ended early on Friday afternoon and he sat in silence in his apartment, he stared at the blank television screen, contemplating whether or not he should take up her offer to attend her concert.

He paced the floor, opened and closed the fridge, tried to scroll through his social media apps, or read a book, anything to keep her mind off of her. He picked his phone up and stared at the home screen for a few minutes, constantly unlocking it when it got dark. With a final sigh, he opened it once more and dialed a number, putting it up to her ear.

“Hello, ya nimrod. What’s going on?” He heard his sister’s voice ring through the other end.

“How do you feel about going to a Y/N Y/L/N concert tonight?”

“You serious? Tonight? Bloody hell, yeah, I’ll go!”

“I’ll pick you up in two hours.”

Time only seemed to drag for Harry, left with nothing but his thoughts. It was enough time to go back and forth on whether or not he was making the right decision. Ultimately, he decided to go. He had already invited Gemma and he would feel guilty for bailing after getting her hopes up.

The sun was beginning to set and Gemma was singing loudly to Y/N’s lyrics in the passenger seat beside him. His palms were sweaty, gripped tight against the steering wheel. As the song ended, Gemma turned the volume down and turned to her younger brother.

“How did you get Y/N Y/L/N tickets, anyway? I didn’t know you listened to her like that.”

“I don’t, really. I mean, I’ve heard a few songs. But she’s my student and invited us to come.”

“She’s your student?” Gemma laughed, amused, “Cut the shit, Harry. How? Did you win them on the radio or something?”

“I’m serious. She’s taking my class.”

“What?” Gemma gasped, “And you didn’t tell me?”

“I didn’t think to.”

“You didn’t think to tell me that one of my favorite singers is a student of yours?” Gemma clarified. Eyebrows furrowed, she sat back and huffed, “Some brother you are.”

“Hey, now! I’m bringing you to her concert, aren’t I?”

The walk up to the ticket booth was one of the most humiliating things he had ever experienced as he uncomfortably explained who he was and that he was invited by the singer, herself. It took two people and a member of her staff to vouch for him before he and his sister were escorted through the venue and entered the pain event area through a private entrance that led them towards a VIP barricade towards the front of the stage. Thousands of screaming fans surrounded them, and Gemma looked around, shocked at the scene.

“This is insane!” Gemma shouted in his ear, bouncing on the balls of her toes.

Harry had to admit, it was pretty cool to see all of these people here for Y/N. He felt a sort of pride for her that he wasn’t quite expecting. And it didn’t take long for the lights to dim and the music to start.

He heard her before he saw her, and he felt his heart start to race again. He tried to play it off by the screams and the thumping bass, but when she finally came into view, he felt like he had been bolted to the floor, unable to move or talk or even smile. He was just stunned. Seeing her on stage was surreal. He knew of her, first, but it was hard for him to dissociate ‘student’ Y/N from ‘famous’ Y/N.

When they caught eyes and she realized he had come, a smile stretched across her face behind the microphone. He couldn’t help but mirror her, his shoulders relaxing as he managed a gentle wave. She walked closer to them on the stage, singing down at them, and he could hear his sister repeating ‘Oh my god, oh my god’ beside him as Y/N waved back in their direction.

Y/N was talented, there was no denying it. And the way that she interacted with her fans, you could tell that she was grateful for every second of it. It was touching. She was knocking down his assumptions about her little bit by little bit. He always thought that she’d be a spoiled, ungrateful celebrity, but that seemed to be completely false.

By the end of the concert, he had eased up and began to jump around, goofily, with his sister while Y/N watched, dancing around on stage, laughing and singing. Finally, the burly manager he had seen on the first day of their meeting with the Dean had approached him and his sister, informing them that they were invited backstage and to follow him.

His nerves began to rise in his chest again as they wove down several corridors until eventually, they stood before a door with Y/N’s name taped on it. The manager knocked loudly and waited a moment before they heard her voice on the other side call out, “Come in!”

With a turn of the knob, Y/N was now seen. She was in a new, more casual change of clothes and her hair was now up, but with visible beads of sweat lining her forehead and neck, she took a long swig of water.

“Hi!” she called, capping her drink and beckoning the two in, “Come in, come in! I’m so glad you came!”

“Hi! It’s so nice to meet you,” Gemma tip-toed closer to her, smiling coyly as the door was closed behind them.

“It’s nice to meet you, too!” Y/N grinned, giving Gemma a much-wanted hug, “Please tell me you’re Harry’s sister.”

“Yes, I’m Gemma, his older sister.”

“Oh, thank god. I was worried he’d bring a date,” Y/N said, boldly, “He’s been playing hard-to-get.”

“You’re interested in my brother?” Gemma asked, astounded, “You’re way out of his league.”

Harry’s mouth fell open as Y/N laughed, “Yeah, and you’d think that’d be enough for him, wouldn’t you? But apparently he’s got standards,” she hyperbolized, rolling her eyes.

For an hour, Harry watched and laughed as Y/N and his sister talked and got to know each other more. They made jokes at his expense, and exchanged stories from their childhoods, shocked by how similar they seemed.

“You grew up around here, right?” Gemma asked the singer, taking a sip from her second beer of the night.

Y/N nodded, “Yeah, about fifteen minutes from here.” Harry’s eyebrows furrowed, knowing the only residential area in a fifteen-mile radius wasn’t exactly known to be the best neighborhood. Y/N seemed to gather his thoughts, further explaining, “It wasn’t always easy. My siblings and I were cramped in a two bedroom apartment and we didn’t have our own phones until well into our teens. I missed out on a lot growing up, but my parents did their best. We had everything we needed. I was lucky to be able to get all this and get them out of that apartment. My parents deserved a big house and a yard. I owed them that much.”

“How did you do it? How did you get to this point?” Harry asked, astounded.

Y/N shrugged, “Right place, right time. I was found singing at the mall for a small gig at a Christmas event. The rest is hard work and history.”

Harry shook his head, speechless. He felt guilty for passing judgment on her before, assuming that it was all handed to her and that she had got her start because of her parents' connections. She was self-made, smart, and deserving of every bit of success that came her way.

After one more round of beers, it was getting time for them to leave. Harry could see the excitement in her sister’s eyes start to be replaced by fatigue, and as much as he wanted to stay and talk some more, he knew he had to get a jump start on grading papers.

He set his empty bottle of beer down and Y/N frowned, “Time to go?”

“Yeah, should probably head out,” Harry nodded, pausing for a moment and taking in the frown on her face. He didn’t have time to think before he blurted out, “Want to join us for the ride?”

Her eyebrows raised and her lips twitched up into a smile, “Yeah, sure.”

Gemma let Y/N take the passenger seat and Harry felt tense as he drove, hand shifting the gears right beside her leg. He smiled every time he heard her laugh, though he couldn’t quite pay attention to what the girls were talking about. He was able to gather that they exchanged phone numbers before he reached Gemma’s house. His sister gave them both kisses on the cheek before bounding up the steps to her home.

The silence was deafening and Harry was certain she could hear him gulp as he turned to her and asked, “Where to?”

He knew what she was going to say. He didn’t need to ask. But to hear it come out of her mouth was something almost too much to handle, “Your place.”

He reversed out of the driveway, barely croaking out, “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“Why?” she asked, turning towards him.

“You’re still my student.”

“So? We can just talk.”

Harry turned and looked at her, giving her a knowing look, “You know it’s not to just talk.”

“Why can’t it be? You don’t have any self-restraint? Is it because you like me?”

Harry felt a blush rise to his cheeks as he fumbled out a, “No.”

“Well then, what’s the problem?”

“......Fine.”

There wasn’t another word uttered for the rest of the journey to his place and he began to overthink. Was his apartment clean? Had he done the dishes? How messy was his room? Did it smell? He knew he should have gotten that diffuser from the store last week.

His nerves rose as he led her up to his apartment complex, pushing the door open and flicking on the lights, breathing a sigh of relief to see that it was, for the most part, fairly tidy. Y/N walked past him, scanning the scene, and as he locked the door he also held his breath, waiting for her to say something.

“Nice view,” she noted, briefly looking out of the window before turning to face him.

He tossed his keys on the entry table and motioned towards the kitchen to his left, “Drink?”

“Yeah, sure.”

“Tea? Coffee? Water?”

“Water’s fine,” she said, making her way towards his living room.

He took the moment to catch his breath, trying to regain control of his thoughts before joining Y/N on his couch, handing her the drink. They both took a swig and he felt her eyes bearing holes into him, again.

When he set his drink down, he turned to her, “You’re very intense, you know.”

She smirked, leaning into the couch some more, “Yeah. I just know what I want.”

“And what’s that.”

“You.”

The immediate response caught him off-guard, but he wasn’t surprised by the answer. At this point, he knew exactly what she wanted, and was only feeding his ego more. He’d be lying if he said he wasn’t intrigued by her and hadn’t thought about the same, but a part of him liked the chase.

He chuckled, sitting back, “You’re my student.”

She moved closer to him, more energetic this time, “I just happen to be into Musical Theory, that’s all.”

“You’re still my student,” he grinned, amused, patting her leg.

“So, what if I drop out? Would that change anything?”

Harry’s grin faded and his hand stayed where it was, resting on her thigh. He stared into her shining eyes again, seeing the seriousness behind them, and he froze, unsure of what to say. Would it change anything if she dropped out of his class? He wasn’t sure it would even need to come to that if she kept looking at him like that any longer.

His eyes flickered from her eyes, to her lips, and back up to her eyes as she waited for a response. He debated whether or not to just give in and kiss her right there. She wanted it, he wanted it, why keep fighting it? There weren’t any rules against relationships with students at his University, not like they’d even fight him on this one; they’re the ones that basically told him to give her everything she wanted.

But when he didn’t respond, Y/N pulled back away. He slumped, kicking himself for not pulling a move sooner. And after a moment of silence, she asked, “Hey, is it okay if I use your shower, real quick? I’m still sweaty from the show and I feel gross. I can take an uber home afterward.”

A million thoughts ran through his mind. Was that a move? Or an invite? Should he ask to join her? Why did she have to leave? He could drive her home, she didn’t need to take an Uber. But the only thing that came out of his mouth was, “Uh, yeah, sure.”

He showed her to the bathroom and went to grab her a towel from the linen closet as she adjusted the knobs and stuck her hand under the flow of water, gauging the temperature. By the time he got back in, she seemed happy with the warmth of the flow and took her hair out of its bun, placing the hair tie on the edge of his sink. He hung the grey towel on the rack beside the shower.

“Let me know if you need anything,” he muttered.

She smiled, “Thanks,” and before he was fully out of the room, she began to pull at the ends of her shirt. Quickly, he scurried out of the bathroom and closed the door to give her privacy.

Once out, his hands shot up to his forehead and he crouched, mumbling to himself a frustrated, “Fuck! What the fuck is wrong with you? Idiot!”

He sat impatiently on his couch, waiting for her to finish. When he heard the screech of the knobs turning and the pressure from the water fade, he shifted his position and quickly forced his attention elsewhere, trying to act casual. But when he heard the creak of the door opening, he turned his attention to see Y/N standing in the doorway, bathroom light glowing behind her, hair rang out and damp, clutching the towel around her body.

His eyes widened a bit as she spoke, “Do you have clothes I can borrow? Mine are still covered in sweat.”

“Uh, yeah, probably. In my room,” he stammered, getting to his feet and leading the way to his bedroom.

She followed, her feet lightly padding the wood floors. He felt almost embarrassed to have her in his bedroom. He wasn’t sure why, it’s not like it was dirty and he didn’t have anything oddities displayed, still, it was an intimate space, and to have her there felt personal.

He opened the bottom drawer of his dresser where he kept his pajamas and motioned towards it, standing up straight, “You can borrow anything from here.”

She bent down in front of him to rummage through, giving him a better look at her back. It looked clean, soft, and supple as droplets of water still lined her back and dripped from the ends of her hair, getting absorbed by the thin white towel she had wrapped around her. When she stood up, he took a step back and she turned, holding one of his oversized white t-shirts and a pair of his plaid pajama pants.

He stood there, unable to move as she stared at him, raising an eyebrow. And still, as she tossed the clothes on the bed behind him, he found himself, once again, rooted to the spot. A smirk started to form on her face and her voice was soft and playful as she spoke.

“How’s that self-restraint going?” she teased.

He didn’t move. He didn’t speak. He just looked at her. And when her playful smile began to shift into something more alluring, he held his breath, watching as she untucked the towel around her chest and let it fall to the ground. His eyes instantly dropped to her exposed chest and he felt his heartbeat pounding rapidly in his chest as she stepped closer to him, barely twelve inches, refusing to take her eyes off of his.

“I know you want to,” she whispered, stroking his arms before taking hold of his hands, lifting them and placing them on her chest, “Touch me.”

He felt his erection becoming uncomfortable as he ran out of room in his pants for growth, massaging her chest. His attention roamed back up, locking eyes with her again. There was no stopping it.

************************************************** In a bout of passion, they threw themselves at each other, hungrily attaching their lips to one another, tongues circling and roaming the other’s mouth. Y/N tore fabric after fabric off of him as they spun, grabbing at each other roughly and without deliberation. Soon, they were both naked and knocking into walls and tripping over clothes.

Harry pushed her up against the dresser as she grabbed hold of his dick, pumping her hands up and down his shaft as he moaned into her mouth.

“Does that feel good, Professor?” she bit his lip with a smile.

“Ungh,” he grunted, pulling away. He spun her around so that her back was to his chest, and forced her down to bend over his dresser, propping one of her legs up on the top of it before he got to his knees, burying his face in her muff.

She cried out, “Yes! Teach me, Professor!”

He flicked his tongue inside of her, lapping up all of her juices while he rubbed himself. He could have kept going for hours, but he could feel her legs start to tremble. When he stood up, he slapped his cock on her ass a couple of times, swiping his tip against her entrance enough to get it lubricated before slipping right into her.

Y/N threw her head back, breathing, “Oh my god, you feel so good, Harry.”

He wrapped an arm around her neck while his other hand clasped over her mouth as he grunted, “Professor Styles,” before sucking on her shoulder blade.

When he loosened his hand from her mouth to take hold of her hip, she whined, “I’m so sorry, Professor Styles. I’m not always bad.”

“No, Y/N,” he pulled out of her, spinning her to face him, tempting her as he walked backwards towards his bed, “You’re my good girl.”

The back of his legs hit his bed and he scooched himself back, letting her climb over top of him, straddling his hips. She bent down, biting his lip again as she lowered herself onto him, gasping as her cunt swallowed him up.

She leaned back, letting him get a better look at her, breasts jumping up and down along with her. He ran a hand from her cleavage down to her navel, grazing her soft skin and watching as her mouth formed an ‘o’, scrunching up her eyebrows in pleasure as she called out his name.

“That’s a good girl,” he breathed, an arm behind his head as he watched, “Make me cum.”

She rode him faster, breathing heavier as he continued to grunt, propping himself up now and suckling on her skin. Her breaths became more shallow and her movements more rigid as she wrapped her arms around his neck, forcing herself onto him even harder. He wrapped an arm around her waist, pulling her down onto him, even more, to go deeper. He could feel her throbbing around him, which only made him more aroused.

“Good girl, Y/N,” he breathed, “Cum on my dick.”

She buried her face into the crook of his neck, and with three more pumps she let out a scream as she said, “Pro-fessor Styles!”

He smirked, quickly flipping her on her back and pumping harder and faster into her as her legs wrapped around his waist. She panted, squeaking as he grunted into her. He looked into her eyes which were full of lust as she stared back into him and he could feel himself start to build up. Even faster now, knowing he was about to finish, he smashed his lips down on her quickly before pulling out and squirting his jizz on her stomach, letting her rub out every last drop.

*******************************************

He collapsed on the bed beside her as they panted, trying to catch their breath before he got the strength to reach down and grab his shirt for them to clean up the mess.

When he turned to face her, she smirked, “Do I need to drop your class? Or can we fuck in your office next time?”

He let out a breathy laugh and mumbled, “That depends. Are you going to the party with Mark tomorrow?”

“Do you want me to?” she retorted.

With a deep breath, Harry shimmied closer to her, nuzzling his head into her chest which made her wrap her arms around him, running her fingers through her hair as he whimpered, “No.”

She laughed, kissing his curly brown locks, “Told you I’d make you fall in love with me.”

------------------------------------

Taglist:

@odetostep @mylittleangel9403 @thurhomish @fallingfordolans @gwenlovesharrystyles , @harryswinterberries, @gucciboots, @golden-grande, @ilovedogs1989 @f4llingfairy

[anissanightyoung]

Of kisses and Roman traditions

[SUMMARY] Where Seungkwan enjoys kissing you and blames it on the Romans.

Idk what this is. Fluff? Flirty!Seungkwan definitely. Oh and noona!reader😁

3,087 words

HAPPY 6 YEARS TO MY BOYS💖💎

masterlist

You and Seungkwan have already kissed on three occasions. You didn't want to put too much thought into it, and you never mentioned it anyway. But sometimes it's hard to stop thinking about what those kisses mean.

The first kiss was at Seungkwan's house. All your friends were already asleep, tired of playing all his board games, and drunk innumerable bottles of liquor. You had finished cleaning up when Seungkwan came towards you. "Yah, why did you clean? This is my apartment.” You laughed at his half-asleep state, you could see just how tired he was trying to beat Soonyoung with one drunk. He did his best, but Soonyoung kept giving him +2s and +4s of tequila or vodka and mixing alcohol in Seungkwan's system ended badly. He threw up twice overnight.

"Look at you, hangover's gonna bite your ass in the morning. And you know I can't sleep when this place is trashed." You can hear him laughing lazily, trying to stay awake. "Come on, let's get you to bed." Seungkwan grins, "Starving. Creamy cheese bagels. Feed me?" You laughed at his antiques. You met him a year ago, and you know drunk Seungkwan needs to eat before he goes to bed. "This is a way of waking up hangover-free, noona. You should try it." But you know that Seungkwan will still have a headache the following day, with an Americano as a telling sign.

"You're too cute for your own good, do you know that?" You joked to him, shaking your head. You were warming up the bagel when he took your hand. "Happy anniversary, noona."

"What?"

"Do you think I wouldn't remember? It's the anniversary of the first time we met.”

"What a sappy, sappy man you are." You laugh while finishing his sandwich. You turned around to face him and said "ah" so he could take a bite out of the bagel. When he did, it was as if he had tasted food for the first time. When he had already swallowed his first bite, he suddenly threw his arms into your waist, swallowing you in a cuddle. That surprised you because he's not usually that sweet, and now he's very touchy.

"What are you doing?" You asked him when he set his bagel down on the counter and tugged the ends of your shirt pulling you closer to him. This is the only time you have noticed how he is a few inches taller than you, and that he has long eyelashes a bit like those of a baby. You were that close to notice that. He slowly bent over your face, staring directly at your lips, waiting for you to stop him. When you didn't, he closed the gap between the two of you and kissed you softly.

When he retired, he laid his head upon the counter and slept his intoxication away. You figured he’s too wasted to have done so. When you asked about the kiss the next day, he brushed it off, saying,  “Sorry, got wasted trying to beat that tiger hyung.”  

“Just don’t do it again okay? Friends don’t do that.”

“Yepp,” popping the last letter, “I’ll take you to your favorite burger place to make it up to you.” He drags you to his car while holding your hand. When he was driving, he held your hand still. “Hey, it's not okay to kiss, but it's okay to hold hands?” There was complete silence.

“Friends can hold hands, sure. When did friends start kissing on the lips?

“Friends with benefits do.”

“Ya are you asking me to? Cause you know I’m not into that kind of shit!”

Seungkwan laughed at your outburst. “Joking noona, sheesh. You’re getting old.”

“Shut it, I’m barely a year older than you.”

Throughout the ride, he didn't let go of your hand. However, you didn't seem to mind the extra warmth.

The second kiss took place around a campfire.

Soonyoung told the three of you that he wanted to go for a drive, and you were shocked when he suddenly parked by a beach. You never asked how Soonyoung got all of your clothes and other belongings, but he seemed to need the view of a peaceful ocean at night, so you all decided. You were already there, and the semester had just ended.

While you and Seungkwan were eating dinner you bought near the store, Seokmin began jamming to a guitar and singing his heart out. Soonyoung was on the lookout for the beach's caretaker to inquire about some wood for a campfire.

“I swear, I know Soonyoung oppa is the most spontaneous of us all, but I never expected him to be this bad. Is it really because of the finals?” 

“He may look carefree, but hyung goes through a lot,” Seokmin chuckled. You understand; everybody has their own way of dealing with their baggage, and Soonyoung's are to be daring and laugh his problems away.

“Minnie, can you play the song you submitted for your music class as a group project?” Campfire?” You believe it is appropriate for the atmosphere of the evening. While Seokmin was singing, you glanced over at Soonyoung to see how he was doing. His smile is beaming, and his eyes are glassy as he takes in the stunning scenery in front of him. You were relieved to see that his plan worked.

You looked at Seungkwan, realizing that this was his first time hearing the track. “Kwannie, pay attention to the next line. It's comforting.” You sang with Seokmin when the part came up. It reminds you of how Seungkwan made getting out of bed easier every day. Your anxiety held you awake at night or made you fearful of what might happen the next day. But Seungkwan, he unintentionally shone on you at a difficult period. Slowly but steadily, you began to anticipate waking up knowing that he would face the day with you.

Soonyoung accompanied Seokmin to the market to buy some food after he finished jamming due to his hunger. It was time for you to jam. Of course, you'd choose Taylor Swift's The Way I Loved You, in honor of her Fearless cover. You've always admired Taylor Swift's music, especially the older songs because you identify with the words she wrote. You were grateful for how her music got you through your childish heartbreaks.

You were so engrossed in Seungkwan's angelic voice that you didn't know he was already squatting in front of you. Both of you were grinning at each other when the last chord was struck, and you kissed him as though it were nothing out of the ordinary. The kiss felt right; it felt like it was what completed the song you were singing; it felt like the happy ending the song promised. To keep your balance, you clutched his arm. When you jerked away from him when you awoke from your daydream, he immediately drew you back in and kissed you again, squeezing your hand three times.

The four of you had agreed to spend Christmas Day at Seokmin's. Your mother didn't let you hear the end of it when you told them you couldn't come home because your family has always been conventional. Your mother guilt-tripping you to come home, saying, "We're family, we're supposed to spend time together." “Ah, well, families are supposed to support one another, not nag each other to death when one fails to meet one's expectations.” After that, you hang up, assuming that if you don't agree, your mother will say something else that you don't want or need to hear.

Seungkwan was supposed to pick you up, so while you were waiting for him, you double-checked everything you'd packed to make sure you hadn't forgotten anything. Seungkwan's introduction of Soonyoung and Seokmin is one of the things for which you are grateful. You've outgrown your crappy friends from high school, so the trio is a breath of fresh air for you.

You place your bags in the trunk as soon as you see his car, like a little kid heading to Disney World. “Thanks for picking me up, Kwannie,” she said, beaming. You excitedly slid down to the passenger seat. He immediately hugged you once you were sitting, saying, "Ah noona, you're in a good mood?" You can see his smile doesn't reach his eyes when you've broken free from the embrace. He's giving you a fake one.

“This is my first trip away from my home. I already know it'll be a lot of fun.”

“Really? At Seokmin Hyung's house, you'll feel right at home. His mother prepares the most delicious Christmas dinner. My mother's cooking pales in comparison.” Seungkwan once gave you a dish made by her mother, and one bite was enough to make you feel like you'd died and gone peacefully to heaven. The fact that Seokmin's mother cooks better piqued your curiosity. “Ah really? Then I'd really have to give it a taste.” He smiled again, the false smile, and you're starting to get bothered by it.

“What are you doing, Kwannie?” You're giving me this strange grin.”

“What do you mean strange?”

“Fake smile. It's the first time you've feigned a smile at me. What’s up?”

“You can see right through me, can't you?”

“Yes, I do. Would you like to talk about it?”

“Nope. But I'd like to take your hand.”

Seungkwan is holding your hand and exhaling contentedly. He kept it until you arrived at Seokmin's house.

Seokmin's house is warm and inviting. They live in a house on a corner with a vibrant garden surrounding it. The living room has an L-shaped couch that can comfortably seat all four of you, with additional seating available. Seokmin and his sister have a wall full of family photos and accomplishments. You can tell Seokmin's parents are a laid-back, loving family, as shown by his kindness and good humor. You don't know if it was the long ride, but you fell asleep as soon as you sat on their couch after the house tour.

When you first awoke, you chose to visit their garden, which you recall has a swing set. Seungkwan is seated by himself.

You teased, "Where are your twins?"

“They went grocery shopping with Mrs. Lee.”

“What kept you from going?”

“Too exhausted from driving.”

“Then you should've just slept with me.”

Seungkwan swung his head in your direction right away. “I-uh, what?”

Then it dawned on you what you'd said. This is so humiliating. “Sleep!” you exclaimed, “Sleeping, with eyes closed and resting-“

“I never expected you to finally ask me-”

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN WHEN YOU SAY "FINALLY" YOU LITTLE SHIT?”

He laughed out loud at your reaction while you chased him around the backyard. He quit running around after you told him that you wouldn't smack him in the head.

“I hate you.”

That made Seungkwan stop laughing.

“Do you regret meeting me?”

You were surprised at his sudden change of tone, no longer joking. “Is this what it’s all about?”

“Well. Yeah.”

“I'm not sure what got you to think like that. You said, “But you know our first meeting was a flop.” When people meet for the first time, they usually ask for each other's names, go through some more tedious formalities, and then seal the deal with a handshake. You had an early class with him, and you didn't mind sharing a seat with him almost every time because you thought he was one of the quiet ones. The year was difficult for you because things didn't go your way, you had a lot of misfortunes, and you had a lot of work piling up that was affecting your mental health.

As you sat down in your chair one fateful morning, you put your cup of coffee on your side of the table. This is where Seungkwan got his drink mixed up with yours because you both have the same coffee taste.

“- flop is an exaggeration for that noona-”

“-you drank my coffee in our 8 a.m. class thinking it was yours, I'll never forgive you.” Reliving that moment made you roll your eyes. “But you know what? You wouldn't have replaced it if you hadn't, and I wouldn't have had the best year of my life.” It may seem to be an exaggeration, but it is true. You were grateful for Seungkwan's carefree and playful personality, which helped you get through your lowest point. He had no idea what you were going through, but you were relieved that someone was taking care of you.

He can be seen chewing his mouth, attempting to conceal his smile. “Ah dumb main character in a drama,” air quotes the phrase, ‘I wish I hadn't met you.' “I instantly thought of you.”

“Huh, that's strange.”

“What is?”

“That. As I previously said, this has been the best year I've had in, what, three years? And it's all thanks to you. I might be harsh with you all of the time, cursing at you whenever I get the chance, but that's just how I am. I'm glad I got you as one of my most reliable friends, my rock, and my go-to person. Even Seokmin and Soonyoung oppa were introduced to me by you. Seungkwan, I'd rather live in a world with you in it. Don’t think otherwise.”

Seungkwan stared at you and felt a combination of emotions. He kissed you when he understood what he felt.  At first, you thought it’ll be quick like the last time, a peck. But he deepened the kiss, and when his tongue touched yours, you hear him groan. He tugged you closer, afraid you’ll get away. He reassuringly held your hands, squeezing them three times just like the second time. I can get used to this. You thought. You focused on his soft lips, how you’ve always felt content while kissing him.

He pulled away, his chest heaving for breath. “Holy shit,” Seungkwan said. You nodded in agreement, apparently unable to concentrate because of your heart beating so loudly.

“I-, uh, I--”

“I thought we’ve talked this through?-”

He sighed deeply before adding, “I-I got cold. Sorry, noona.”

“You dumb shit, if you were cold, I would have made you hot chocolate. I’m nice sometimes you know.”

“I don't mind,” he smirked, “you're hotter anyway.”

“What the heck is wrong with you? I swear to god, you've been flirting with me since that drunk uno shit.”

“It's a Roman thing to kiss under the mistletoe,” he said, pointing to the mistletoe he was carrying.

You both laughed it off, thinking about how ridiculous it sounded. “Roman tradition my ass.”

You and Seungkwan are both in the hospital on New Year's Eve.

“Ah, what a dumb plan you had there,” you exclaimed, staring at him in disbelief.

“Well, I've always wanted to go out of my comfort zone...”

You give him a light smack on the head. “Shut up. Now I'm trapped in a hospital over New Year's because of your dumb plan.”

It's never a good idea to combine Seungkwan with hiking. Sure, he's fit, but when was the last time he went hiking?

“Then have Seokmin hyung or Soonyoung hyung accompany me.”

“They're still at Seokmin's.” You and Seungkwan both arrived at your dorms earlier than anticipated. After all, you didn't want to overstay your welcome; it was your first time. You were worried that Seokmin's mother would think you were too at ease in their home.

“Well, if you want to go home, you can.”

“Who will look after you if I go home?”

For a moment, Seungkwan didn't dare add a sarcastic comment on that question. So, instead, “Come on y/n, don't be so mad...”

“Where are your manners, I'm your noona?”

“three kisses in and I still can't call you by your name?”

You blushed when you remembered all of the times Boo SeungKwan kissed you and how sweet his soft lips were.

“Noona is blushing, wah.”

“I hope your ankle doesn’t heal you little shit.”

Raising his eyebrows at you. "You don't mean that. You love me."

"Of course I do. I love all three of you."

He reached for your hand. "I bet you love me more." There it was again, Seungkwan surprising you with his sudden seriousness. He was staring straight into your eyes, waiting for your response. Luckily, a nurse came in to check his vitals.

 A few minutes after the nurse came out, both of you were ignoring each other due to that sudden tension. To ease the situation, both of you just watched television until you fell asleep.

"Y/n wake up." Nudging you by your shoulders. "We're nearing the countdown. Cmon," and urged you to stand by the window, waiting for the fireworks.

Seungkwan then leaned in to put an earphone in, with a song already playing in the background. You realized it was a song written by Soonyoung's classmate, Woozi, for a songwriting class. You were bopping your head to the music when the ten-second countdown started. 

You and Seungkwan alternately sang along.

10

9

"I promise myself, while drinking a glass of water in the morning, to tell you"

새벽에 물을 마시면서 혼자 다짐해 나는 너에게

8

7

"Beautiful words like the lines in a movie"

영화처럼 달콤하고 예쁜 그 말

6

5

"The words I've prepared overnight for days"

몇 날 며칠 밤새 연습했던 그 말

4

3

"I want to say them to you tomorrow with clenched fists"

내일은 꼭 두 주먹을 꽉 쥐고 말해주고 싶어

2

1

Seungkwan turned to face you just in time for the next line.

"You are pretty." 

너 예쁘다

As soon as the clock struck twelve and the fireworks went off, Seungkwan kissed you. What astonished you was how you knew he was about to kiss you and how you returned the kiss with fervor as he deepened it. You can't help but compare this man to fireworks; how dark it was before him, and how awestruck you were when he came into your life.

Seungkwan was the first to back away, touching his forehead to yours and giggling like a joyful little kid. “Did you know that it’s a Roman tradition to kiss on the first minute of the new year?”

“Blaming the Romans again, I see?” playfully raising your eyebrows at him.

He laughed at that, giving you no excuse. "I love you, Y/n."

You grinned as you silently thank the Romans for their weird traditions.

[snickiebear]

Hi bby! 1, 2, 3, 6, 16, 27, 29, 33, 35! 🖤

mittens!!! loml!!

1. From one to five stars, how would you rate your writing? (No downplaying yourself!)

oh goodness... um, i’d say a 4?? yeah, that sounds about right, only because i often make so many tense mistakes and even when i edit there’s always something to fix. and just,,, im still learning a lot (aren’t we all). plus, sometimes the stuff i put out needs so much more work (see: my recent shisaku fic... i want to tear it up and put it back together.. ugh.. also wt&r, just everything)

2. Why do you write fanfiction?

OH GOODIE! i just... well, i wrote a lot when i was twelve-fourteenish, then kind of on and off through the years. never really had anything to ground me and get me to take writing seriously. and then i found naruto and sakura who has so much unused potential and it just made me so angry to see her treated that way. 

point being, the naruto fandom (more specifically the sakura fandom) rooted me down and allowed me be able to grow as a writer even though i’ve only been posting since january my writing style has changed so much, and i can physically feel myself becoming a better writer. 

plus, i just love it. the thrill of being able to use these characters and pairings and do what i want with them?? i drink it up, i love it!!! its so freeing and such a great way to really dig deep within writing itself. 

3. What do you think makes your writing stand out from other works?

i think its just the way i word things, you and a lot of others call it poetry but meh i just call it fancy words or word vomit from my brain AHAHHAHA

also, my thing is God Killers, God Eaters, and Angry Wrathful Women at this point, so maybe thats another thing?

but honestly,,, i have no clue... you’d have to ask my lovely readers, im so thankful for them 😭

6. What element of writing do you find comes easily?

plot probably. this changes often though. usually when i have an idea, the rest comes to mind and i jot it down and come back and change things and stuff, so thats usually pretty easy tbh... at least for now LMAO

and inner dialogue, inner struggles, showing the entire internal thing. its fun writing that angsty part of a story, the small insights into a character’s mind, how miserable and alone they feel. or, perhaps how happy they are, overjoyed and at peace. 

OH AND WORLD BUILDING. i pride myself so much on my world building. i honestly think thats one of the better things im good at! just weaving small details into the text, and subtly building a world within your mind, oh i love it so much!!!!

16. Any guilty pleasure trope(s)?

mmmm nothing really comes to mind? men simping for women who could kick their ass? tho idk if thats really a guilty pleasure....am very fond of same age aus, sometimes mafia aus too... ummm,, yeah

(probably big dick tenzo tbh... and the fact that kakashi’s face is a legal weapon AHAHAHA,,, and broken, vunreble men. also, shattered, all consuming women.)

27. What’s the nicest comment you’ve ever received?

oh god... i cannot chose! you, ele, al, and hika leave the kindest comments, and literally any comment on the things i write just make me so so so so so HAPPY. i just them more than kudos tbh. 

but! one comment on the intimacy of being understood i always come back to. it was left by GuardianMars and they wrote that the fic was like a “love letter to the pairing.” and that well. i think about that comment all the time. 

there have been so many others comments that have utterly touched my heart and that i will go to read on terrible, horrible days and i value ALL comments. especially those who say “i’m rereading this again” or “i’ll read anything you put out” that just. there is something so intimate about that, that utter faith and loyalty that i do not know what to do with. 

its so touching and makes me truly believe in the good of the world. 

29. Have you ever gone outside of your comfort zone for a fic? How did it turn out?

yes! i am attempting to get better at writing smut because ol&w is going to have some fucking in it so i experimented in that shisaku fic and just..... yeah idk man. idk... its something i do want to get better at cause, meh why not? and i want to write some good porn for my readers damnit! HAHAHA 

33. Is there anything you wish your audience knew about your writing or writing process?

hmmm,,, probably that i stress so much and yet so little at the same time? allow me to elaborate! i stress so much about whether my writing is actually good or if people are just being nice LMAO and also posting, i get cold sweats and a thumping heart and yiKES

but also, i enjoy writing so its like “fuck you (jk ily guys) imma write what i wanna!”...do you see my issue? HAHAHA

also, im a planner. most of the time, and a lot of the details in my more serious fics (ol&w) are blink and miss details but they’re important and i LOVE foreshadowing!!!! like yes, i will vaguely mention something and itll simply come back with a vengeance! 

35. Ramble about any fic-related thing you want!

aaaaaa okokok thank you for this ask LMAO i just love talking about writing and rambling (as i often do,, im a long winded person, im very sorry)! 

but anyways! my summer semester just started up and i’m taking three purely online classes and the college im attending (im a dual enrollment student; meaning a high school and college kid,, taking advantage of the system!) fucked up my schedule so! im taking two TWELVE WEEK CLASSES that will end in AUGUST???? and then my fall sem starts five days later so... no summer break for nadia! yay...

writing will be very slow and updates will be too, which i am so sad and frustrated about because i’ve finally hit a paved road and now we’re driving into the forest! all bumps and bruises damnit! BUT worry not! i (as i said above, am i severe planner. every day has a plan, i am also an avid lover of lists also. i have lists for EVERYTHING) am working out a schedule so that i can get all my school shit done as soon as i can (while not failing) and write while hopefully not burning myself out.  

ol&w is such an intricate fic and im truly trying to give it the justice it deserves,,, im just hoping that my dear readers can bear with me HAHAHAHA there is honestly so much going on in that fic; shikamaru’s development, the underlying plot, the hate to love build up, the world building, and then laying down the foundations for the next fic (because yes, this is supposed to be a trilogy.. question is; will i be able to write it?) (answer: maybe. hopefully. i desperately want to but it might take some time.)

BUT ASLO i have so many oneshots i want to write! kisame week! kakashi week! kibasaku long fic! and not to mention my og work that i plan on rewriting and putting up on ao3 because a few people showed some interest. there is just so much to do and write and i am itching to do it all! but. well, but school, and the exhaustion of insomnia, and the weight of stress, sigh. 

shit sucks, it is what it is. but writing is like my safe haven and i just love pouring all myself into my fics and then baring my soul to you all and you take a peek and decide to keep looking. that is my favorite part of this little pocket of tumblr. 

this was not really... fic related? more like a dump of issues! so sorry about that AHAHAHAH 

anyways! thank you so much mittens! :)))))))))

pick my brain!

[wavesmp3]

directors cut: oasis

[doing this entirely for myself, out of pure self indulgence lol] [this will be very messy/poorly organized and there will be spoilers]

okay so where to even begin omg..... we will start with the origins of oasis:

its actually, techinically a spin off of the world from this drabble with dino from svt. which the world in this drabble is what the world from oasis would look like very far in the future. but i changed a lot between writing that drabble and creating oasis. but there should be a scene in the drabble that is very similar to a part in oasis (hint: the first vision they got from saskila was not just a random vision with no meaning.......hehe)

but that drabble (its titled dreamscapes) was inspired by a mix of this post on tumblr about how nuclear waste warning signs sounded very cool and the book that i was reading called the children of blood and bone by tomi adeyemi

and then after i had made that drabble i saw dee’s (@/atbzkingdom’s) post about the time capsule collab, and i had a couple ideas of what i could do for it but i ultimately decided on what would eventually become oasis !! so i guess we really have dee and that collab to thank for this piece lol

now for the timeline of me writing:

so i started outlining this piece in the first couple days of january, and normally outlines take me a while to come up with just because i struggle in coming up with plot, but i knew that my spring semester of classes would be starting soon and that I didn’t have a lot of time so i just sort of grinded an outline out as well several paragraphs of pure worldbuilding. 

and then i started writing

and wow i was Really writing!! at my peak productivity i was easily getting down like 2k a day which for me is insane (for reference, i wrote 1k a day for tsiytt and i struggled my way through that) 

but then life happens classes had begun and my writing for oasis slowly become nothing... 

i really only found the time to work on the piece every other weekend, so i was really nervous that i wouldn’t finish in time (which technically i didn’t cause it was supposed to come out march 1st) but luckily i did

and at some point in february, i had lost so much of my momentum and motivation for this piece that i almost gave up on it. (at this point i was writing the scenes after they find the seat of wisdom destroyed) but again luckily i did not, but i personally can definitely see a decline in the quality of my writing towards the end (i mean maybe its in my head, but its sort of like i can see the loss of love for the wip in my writing at the end of it)

but don’t misunderstand, i still love oasis!! and in all honesty, i’m already considering starting a second draft to it, which is way sooner than i thought i would lol

also when i started writing this piece, i began writing it in the order that it would be read, but then halfway i switched to writing chronologically

anyways, something i learned while writing this piece, is that writing is a marathon. whereas, even with my longer pieces, i always viewed writing as a sprint. so as i start venturing into original works and more lengthy pieces of writing, i think this was a very valuable lesson for me to have learned.

okay now to the good stuff lol: [the first word of the bullet about the next chapter (?) is bolded for some crumbs of an organized commentary]

so this is jumping to the first past bit... but when i first wrote farah i had a very different plan for her character than who she ended up being. i had imagined that she’d be a lot more cold and a tough love sort of person. so that’s who i was writing when she’s first introduced in the flashback, but she very quickly become a much kinder full of love sort of person. but anyways i mention this because whenever i read that first part and the introduction of her character, i’m always a bit taken aback by how like mean here character is to crown then lol

also zoar !!!! its a terrible place, but i love that underground city

i also wrote the first flashback after i had written the scene where crown and chanhee are talking at his place in andhor, so the whole “fearless” connection was done very purposefully here since i knew how it’d be referenced in the next scene. someone mentioned this small connection in their reblog but i cant remember who 

also rashi is my favorite character xD

i personally think how crown and chanhee became friends (the running thing) is so cute 

this first bit of conversation between crown and chanhee when it switches back to the present and chanhee is giving them a tour of andhor is actually quite important to me, in the sense that its the first glimpse of how their actual relationship works and how they act together and just like their dynamic despite the fact that they havent seen each other in so long 

and yeah i think kyu mentioned this and a few others, but i love how awkward it is when chanhee and crown are in his home in andhor, cause one: they havent seen each other in years! but also: anyone else find going to someone’s place for the first time oddly intimate, like wow you’re opening up your home to me and now suddenly idk how to sit or stand or what to do with my arms... maybe just me LMAO

DUDE i struggled so hard with making it so that chanhee knew how impossible this whole mission was going to be without actually revealing that he knows about the mirror. it was so hard for me, hopefully it came out alright though. if anyone is reading this, did the twist(s) come as a shock to you? did you see it coming? or did it feel like it came out of absolutely no where and not in a good way?

yes i did name the desert after the department store kohls .....

i was so excited to explain all the mage types, i had so much fun writing this whole chapter 

fun fact: there was originally another sub group of psyche mages called dream mages who had like powers with dreams and stuff, but it ended up being irrelevant and really underdeveloped so it took it out

if anyone else was raised catholic or is catholic then i’d hope you recognize the names of all the relics.... i stole them from a prayer in the rosary whoops

it took me very long time to figure out exactly how the whole soul for the relic business would work, and idk if im a 100% satisfied with what it is/how it works/how it plays into rashi giving chanhee the locket

the note new gives crown.... the first slice of their friendship blooming, bro i eat that shit up 

this part where crown and rashi are talking after the lesson is actually one of my favorites. (like i said i love rashi, but i just really love her interreacting with crown, i think they have such an interesting dynamic and one that i’ve seen irl a lot between students and teachers, where the student adores the teacher... i’ll get more into this later) but moving on, i like it for a number of reasons. one: it’s the first time we as readers get to see rashi talk outside of her role as lesson master. two: i love crown getting this validation from rashi. it’s not really expanded on a lot, but crown’s magic is definitely a bit of an insecurity for them, in the way that they don’t feel like it belongs to them. but here rashi comes, this person that crown looks up to so much, and telling crown that they’re a bit similar when it comes to having magic. and surprising crown by comforting them. and... idk i just really love this moment for crown.

okay this line: “You call your mom Rashi?” is a lowkey reference to game plan,, if anyone knows what i’m talking about then please come clown me for nearly having the entire movie memorized 

oh, i also find the capital really cool. in my head the capital was always one huge building that contains an entire city but i realized while editing that i never really explained that, so idk if i successfully described the capital as cool as it is to me 

also the five friends part.....CUTE

when chanhee says “i know. i remember.” !!! girl i felt that line with my entire chest. idk why

okay wait this part: “But that knowledge seems to fall flat right now. Because despite everything, curiosity won the war.” i love it so much, its that tiny of sliver of hope that gets me personally

i think this part where crown’s pride is so hurt by no one telling them about chanhee’s healing magic is quite important because its a glimpse of how stubborn and prideful and headstrong of a character they can be 

also this : “ ‘and do you believe everything rashi says’ / without hesitation, you answer, ‘yes, of course’ “ this is another example of how highly crown thinks of rashi while growing up, almost to a fault. to the point where crown thought rashi could do no wrong. which i think is so interesting to think about when contrasted with the fight crown and chanhee have in the jungle where crown is the one discussing how rashi was wrong. i just like how much growth crown has had between all these years. and their opinion / perspective on rashi is one of the largest indicators of that growth. 

I also just really like that paragraph where shadow vs healing is explained... I think chanhee’s magic is so sick

oh also the names thing.... I can’t remember where I got the idea to do that from but im so glad I did. its one of my favorite aspects to this world, and it looks like a lot of other people enjoyed it as well. but apart from the intimacy of it, i love how the use of names affects one’s magic. and that paragraph where they go through all that a mage could do with a name. it gives me chills. just cause.... the possibilities

so many people have mentioned this line.... but I must too, so this part: “magic always comes with a price. this is new’s” ..... crazy

saskila scares me omg

again the first vision they see is not a random scene.... the easter eggs I planted with that mwahaha

yeah that scene where they’re outside the tent discussing who should give their name to saskila..... I love that scene chanhee’s “I don’t have anyone but you” and crown deflecting all that tension with the pinky promise and the saskila calling them lovers.... mwah

this random scene about the hot summer and laying with Farah and new in the gardens is another one of my favorite, it’s just so sweet

but this next scene makes me so sad

like I know what happens and I know that everything turns out okay but I get so scared for crown

yeah just that entire part after Rashi gets to them and when they’re going to the infirmary and before crown passes out... I love that whole part. i think i did an effective job of writing the gravity of that whole moment. cause it makes me a little stunned every time I read it. and I was pretty nervous about not being able to do that scene and that moment justice so I’m glad it turned out like it did

and again this line: magic always comes with a price, and in your case, it comes with several.

okay this part after they jump out of the ship and crown is talking to Chanhee but that other dude is talking too... I hope it’s not too confusing. I really wanted to show through the writing that this was all happening at the same time, but idk it came out well. like in my mind I have such a clear picture of this scene, but I have no clue if I did effective job of showing you guys what I’m seeing through the writing

oh yeah, crowns thing about dual wielding and engulfing the blades in flames.... I find that so cool. they’re so sick for that

yeah also the part where crowns hurt and they give Chanhee their name and they use it.... great moment, but I feel like my writing is a bit lacking here. i just know it could be better.

I think at this point of writing my classes had started, and again the disparity in writing quality is so obvious to me 

but the line where chanhee is describing how it all feels, and it says “chanhee feels golden” was inspired by daylight by taylor swift, theres a line in that song that goes “i used to think love would be burning red, but its golden” and like hello the parallels between that and crown’s fire magic.... something to think about 

so this next part where it’s back to the past and crown is getting in trouble (as crown does) but the part where crown is like asking but not directly asking for rashi’s name.... that part is so crazy to me cause it’s feels so out of place. but it was purposeful. i was trying to show that crown’s growing and that they’re at this weird age where they feel invincible. and also i wanted to put more emphasis on how being royal and the heir to the throne kind of effects the relationships crown has

and the last line of this part when rashi says “never abuse it” it gives me chills whew

the next part ... another part that i had high hopes for in the outlining stages of writing, but when it came to actually writing, this scene totally flopped, i’m gonna try not to dwell on this part too much cause i just know most of my comments will be about how much i don’t like it. but just overall, this scene could have been SO MUCH BETTER !

omg this little interaction: ““Look!” Chanhee deadpans, shooting you a glare. “The match is about to begin.” / “Wish me luck.” /  “I hope you lose.”” i think its so funny and cute

“ Your eyes immediately got to Rashi “ another example of how highly crown regards rashi 

“In Wurltan.” hmmmmmm sus.... *laughs in i love mentioning things that won’t make sense to reader until later*

okay this: “Yes, but not just any mage. I…” your voice trails off, pulling at your fingers and looking anywhere but at him. “I wanted you to know.” i cannot stand these two omg 

okay this part: “Chanhee thinks and overthinks the words spoken between you both. His mind drifts off to last night as well, that moment in the tent where you shared your warmth. He doesn’t even realize he’s staring at you until you give him a funny look. He quickly looks away and wonders if you’re overthinking everything as relentlessly as he is.” this part makes me think about what ina said about how chanhee shows his love by keeping you in his thoughts and YEAH chanhee’s love language in this piece is thinking about you and staring LOL

i hate this next part, not cause i don’t like it or anything it just makes me sad 

but this line: “Like if someone shoved you from behind right now, you wouldn’t push back; you’d let yourself fall straight to the ground.” i actually love that line

also this next entire bit i see SO clearly in mind, i hope i wrote it well enough so that you all saw it clearly too

when chanhee wipes the dirt.... girl i’m wiping my tears 

this line : “We’ll lean on each other.” mini love declaration sighhhhhh

yeah that whole part i love so much 

the seat of wisdom :(((( no!!!!!

so about this line: “He stares at his palms, at all the lies buried under each nail and at all the secrets shoved in every crack. He watches as they all blow up in front of his face.” >> i had like ten different versions of it before i settled on this one lol

okay so the first part of the last past flashback with crown realizing their true feelings... so soft 

news gone, rashis’s dead, :((( it makes me so sad

gosh okay this paragraph..... “I’ve always wondered why the gods blessed me and you the way that they have. They entrusted you with such great power. The only person to be both a healing and shadow mage in centuries. And then,” a tear falls from her eye, “they entrusted you to me.” Chanhee thinks this might be the first time he’s seen Rashi cry. “But now I have reason to believe that this was no accident. I’m beginning to think that the gods have always known it would come to this. And I’m starting,” she falters there, “I’m starting to spite them for it.”  it hurts so bad im sorry 

the first confrontation with harlan took me so long to write, and i’m still not sure if i actually like it, so again i will refrain from commenting lol

but the part where crown screams : “YOU LOST THE MIRROR OF JUSTICE!”  I think i told kyu this but this line makes me laugh because in my head its said the same way bella says: “you nicknamed my daughter after the lochness monster” whenever i see that line i smile lol

honestly this argument scene..... one of my absolute faves,,, everything lina said about it in that reblog just yes!yes!yes!! i can’t even comment about a particular part because all of it i love so much. its another part that leaves me slightly speechless.

but my favorite part of it might be how it ends hehe

these next couple parts were a bit diffucult to write because obviously the air between crown and chanhee is not very light right now so it was just hard to navigate their dynamic at these moments until they apologize but hopefully it turned out alright

i really like this line: “But this moment—with the scent of Harlan’s wine under his nose and the chill of Harlan’s blade against his neck—this moment feels nothing like those. It feels empty.” 

“ Chanhee just stares at you.“ -- staring as a love language exhibit b 

this whole part... chills bro 

“Chanhee exhales because for the first time since this afternoon he looks at your face and sees you.” -- exhibit c ....

okay wait another one of my favorite parts here: the spilled glass metaphor!! again please reference lina’s rb on this because everything said there... could not have said better myself. inspired by this writing advice by ocean vuong and yeah i just think the metaphor speaks for itself, one of my favorite lines (well paragraph) from the entire piece, actually from ALL of my works 

it was so hard to think up all of yumi’s different names, i was struggling

them talking about how farah will be happy to see chanhee...... how do i break it to you crown.....she’s dead...... awkward

red streak q! yesss. also i’m so sorry for killing off farah 

also kyunyu bestiessss

tbh this whole paragraph: “I get this overwhelming burst of honesty. As if what you both speak of is more than just a simple truth, as if it’s a commandant you blindly follow. What’s even odder is that I only feel that burst when you speak of each other.” Q stops walking and turns so that he faces Chanhee directly. “You speak of Crown constantly. And last night, when I met Crown, your title never left from the tip of their tongue. Humans are so simple really. We mention what we love.” Q pauses for a moment, bringing a hand under his chin. “Do you love Crown?” --i wrote it for myself no regrets

oh wait this bit too : “Quietly, Chanhee says, “I know.” / “Have you been watching?” / “I’ve been waiting.” / “For what?” / He meets your eyes. “For you.”” -- sometimes i do things that live rent free in my own mind

okay im so sorry for just quoting myself but this too : “ He sits back slightly. Shocked. Not by his love for you, but rather by how easily love walked into his heart and settled between his lungs “

lol the part where they try fooling q... why are crown and chanhee like this

the running !!!

yeah also every part after that... tears okay

yumi’s magic !!! its so cool to me, i love it so much 

i surprisingly don’t have much to say about the end... i mean i like it, but i just don’t have any comments. the last line tho... good one shawna

okay im done for you sake i hope no one read this lmao 

[epcot-anthony]

College Tips

Hey guys!! This is obviously very off brand for the blog and I don’t know if anyone actually wants this but i’m bored so i’m going to do it anyways since a lot of schools start this week! Here’s just some things that I think may be good to know. Obviously take everything pretty lightly because everything is VERY dependent on your specific school/campus and you as a person! I hope this helps a little bit though!!

1.) Pack lightly. This is one that’s super relevant right now, but that’s not fully what I mean. A lot of people are going to say don’t bring your entire wardrobe and I agree with that, but by packing lightly I mean don’t bring all the little things. Don’t bring 10 bottles of perfume or 50 pairs of earrings if you do not think you will use those all the time. Little stuff totally adds up and will create some clutter! Right now especially I think it’s important to only bring the things you will use on a daily basis.

2.) Don’t fully trust ratemyprofessor. A lot of people will look on ratemyprofessor before they choose classes and I think that’s a super good thing, but it’s super important to realize that some reviews may not mean much at all. I know a lot of people get super worried when they have to choose a professor that has terrible reviews but I wouldn’t let that worry you too much. Everyone is so different so you may love a professor that someone hated and vise versa. Also, it’s good to realize that some people who leave reviews are the people who didn’t want to give any effort at all so that’s good to keep in mind.

3.) Be safe. Parties are totally fine (not during a pandemic, but that’s up to you I guess) but it’s super important to take precautions before going out. Go out with friends!! Unrelated to parties, but if you have to walk alone at night then self defense is super important! I haven’t heard people mention this one much before, but staying safe on dating apps is super important. Sharing your location with your friends before you meet with people is a very good idea!!

4.) It’s okay not to be best friends with your roommate. It is such a common misconception that you will go into college and be best friends with the person you took with. This does happen for some people but it does not happen to a lot of people either! It can totally suck and it’s something i’m still dealing with accepting, but it’s just important to realize that you can make friends in other ways. The only thing you really need to have with your roommate is respect for one another. With that, be a good person. Clean up after yourself, don’t be obnoxious when the other persons sleeping, and overall just be respectful.

5.) It’s okay to question your major. Lol still struggling with this but apparently it’s super normal!! As long as you are not absolutely miserable, I wouldn’t be concerned with occasionally questioning your major. If it’s something you genuinely do not want to do anymore though, then talk with your advisor! Also, career quizzes are fun if you ever are panicking! Very nice because sometimes they’ll give you your future career and it’s like oh cool, maybe I don’t need to panic over this! I also recommend looking into minors if you’re worried about the options your major limits you to.

6.) Figure out what’s right for you. I’m not sure how good of advice this is, but i’ll share it anyways. You will likely get the option of choosing when your classes are and within that you get to choose the order of your classes. It’s super important to begin to figure out if you are the type of person who enjoys 3 classes in a row to get them over with or the type of person who enjoys 2 classes in a row and then a 3 hour break before the next one. Also, when making your schedule it’s probably good to make note of the times and if those are realistic or not. Like, you need to eat lunch at some point so you probably shouldn’t have classes from 8am to 2pm every single day. Figuring out what’s best for you is great!

7.) It’s okay to not meet your best friend the first week of college. There is a pretty big stereotype that you will meet all your best friends and your entire friend group the first week of school and while that may happen for some people, it’s very unrealistic for others. It’s normal to not have all these friends a few days into being on campus. You will be alright, seriously. Class friends can be super amazing and you will probably make some of those! You will find friends at your own pace and that’s okay. You may never have a full friend group and that’s okay too! Really, do what makes you happy and realize that you are not the only one going through this.

8.) Make sure you are taking the right classes for your degree. So every major is different. Some majors will allow you to have complete freedom while others will have an exact set schedule for you for your entire college career. Realizing which of these you are in is especially important for class registration time (which sucks lol) because you need to know if you are allowed to select a random elective or if that will throw off your entire track. Again, talk with your advisor! Some are wonderful and some unfortunately are not. If yours isn’t, I would just try to figure out the specific classes you need to take before you register so you aren’t wasting money or delaying graduation.

9.) Textbooks. This section has a few things so we will go vague with the title! Now I know most schools make you rent textbooks for a crazy amount which sucks, but I fortunately don’t really deal with that so I can’t give much opinion there. If you’re in that situation, I do recommend looking at all the textbook sites online (i’m sorry I don’t have names but i’m sure they’re not too hard to find!!) and trying to find cheaper versions. So many classes you will not use the book once even if it’s required. Like..you may have required readings and still not reallyyy need to use the textbook. If you have some classes that require you to buy the books, don’t get them until the class has started. Don’t pay $200 for something you may not need at all. It is good to be prepared for class, but you probably won’t be the only one who didn’t get the textbook. I’ve had situations where the rental place will say a section doesn’t need the book and they do, so i’d just wait until class for that one!

10.) Don’t believe all the college advice you see. Yeah this is super weird to put in here, but I think it’s important. There will be so many college Youtube videos and blog articles telling you how your college experience is going to go and it’s best to take that lightly. One thing that I never realized was how different all schools are. I watched Youtube videos where the girls would talk about how everyone would open their doors and just be best friends with everyone and yeah that was absolutely not the case for me. Sooo many things will be campus, personal, and even dorm based so it’s so good to take things lightly. Don’t fully trust everything you see because it may cause you to be disappointed when you realize that you’re in the exact opposite situation. Just take everything super lightly!

Bonus stuff that’s kinda simple but still important:

10/10 recommend a fridge and microwave

Try not to miss class because it becomes a bad habit and will catch up to you

Being homesick is so extremely normal. It happens to almost everyone and it sucks. It might not even hit you until your second semester and it’s super hard, but I do believe it can be hardest when you don’t have responsibilities yet. Once classes start and you have a routine things will likely start to get easier.

Planners!! Are!! Great!!! (If you’re online for the semester, 10/10 recommend fully planning what assignments and things you need to get done every single day and just crossing them off like a checklist. It gives you a little bit of a routine)

Try to do laundry at weird times. A Tuesday at 2:30pm? Sure! Doing laundry with less people is much more enjoyable than doing it on a Friday or Saturday when there is a thousand people and there is random socks everywhere.

Emailing people when you have questions is never a bad thing. Anxiety sucksss but the thing I always think of is “this is likely not the worst email this person has ever received” and it makes me feel so much better.

I apologize for how long this may be!!! Idk, these might suck but hopefully they’re kinda helpful. I know they’re mostly academic based, but that stuff is always important too! If you have any questions or need literally anything you can always message me or send me an ask!! I believe in you!!

[queenmylovely]

Peer Review

Summary: John deacon x fem!reader. Two seniors in a freshman English class. 

Word Count: 4.4k

Warnings: fluff, cussing (ofc), and smut (18+!! marked by ***)

A/N: Cute little oneshot cause idk how to write blurbs. Basically what I wish uni was actually like lol. For you, anon! I hope you all enjoy, and any feedback including likes, replies, and reblogs are greatly appreciated! Requests are open!

Request: hi love your writing!! i was wondering if i could request a uni!john deacon au? maybe something fluffy/smutty?

Masterlist 

(a sassy Deaky fed up with the freshmen’s bs)

☆☆☆

Waiting to take English 101 until your senior year hadn’t necessarily been a conscious decision. More like you forgot that you were required to take it due to your eagerness to take the classes that were actually for your major. So on the first Tuesday of your last fall semester, just eight months until graduation, you were sat in a room full of mostly freshmen and sophomores.

The first thing your professor had everyone do was to get into five groups of five and introduce yourselves with your name, year, major, and hometown. Quickly, everyone grouped up and circled their desks, awkwardly waiting for someone to start.

Since you had been doing this for the past three years, you took the lead, “I’m Y/N. I’m a Spanish major and a senior because I forgot to take this course earlier. And I’m from here, London.”

Your answer gained a couple of chuckles and helped to break the ice as the girl next to you started without hesitation. After her, two more people introduced themselves and then the last guy went.

He had long hair and kind eyes, and his voice was a little nasally but altogether pleasing when he started to talk, “My name’s John Deacon. I’m also a senior ‘cause I couldn’t be bothered to take this class before my engineering ones. And, um, I’m from Leicestershire.”

When he said that he was a senior he had turned to you with a smile that you returned easily.

“Oh thank goodness I’m not the only one,” you half-whispered to him, leaning over conspiratorially. He giggled at your words before the professor called everyone’s attention back to the front.

For the rest of the hour, the class remained in the small groups, reading over sections of the syllabus and then presenting them to the rest of the class. As experienced students, you and John were able to pick out the most important information from the text with just a glance.

John and you made funny comments to each other every so often throughout the class, saying how young all of the freshmen looked and how they were confused at what office hours were. At first, it was mainly you making the comments, which you were happy enough with since he had a wonderful laugh. But after a little while, he made a few comments himself that were far more severe than yours, making it very hard for you to stifle your laughter.

By the end of class, the two of you had developed an ease of conversation and you were slightly reluctant that it was coming to a close. As you packed up your things, you saw John lingering by your desk and turned to him to say goodbye.

He beat you to it, though, and asked, “Where’s your next class?”

“It’s in the psychology building. Where’s yours?” you replied.

“The engineering building,” he answered.  

“Oh, mine’s on the way to yours,” you pointed out.

“It is,” he agreed.

“We could walk together,” you suggested.

“I mean, if you insist,” he said with a cheeky smile and you laughed, lightly hitting him on the shoulder.

The two of you walked over together, chatting about your majors. You found out that John was an electrical engineer major, finishing up in the spring like you. He asked what Spanish majors did and you explained that you wanted to be an interpreter or professor.

“At the moment, it’s looking like I’ll do private tutoring and lessons once I graduate until I find something I really like,” you told him.

“So, are you fluent?” he questioned.

“I better be,” you joked and the two of you laughed. “What about you, John? Do you speak any languages?”

“I took French in primary but promptly forgot it all. Oh, and you can call me Deaky, by the way,” he informed you.

“Deaky?” you questioned a little bit teasingly.

“Yes, it’s short for Deacon. It’s what my friends call me,” he explained.

“Oh, so we’re friends now?” you said with a smile.

“Well, yes, I’d quite like to be,” he said a little shyly, looking away.

“Me too, Deaky,” you assured, and he looked back at you with a grin. You then realized you were at your building and told him so. “Hasta jueves, Deaky.”

“What does that mean?” he laughed as you started walking away.

“See you Thursday,” you called over your shoulder before pushing the door open and going inside.

_____

From then on, you and Deaky paired up together in class and then walked to your next ones. Occasionally, you met up at a coffee shop to study and peer review each other’s work. John wasn’t the best writer, but he tried very hard and improved a lot from paper to paper. You, on the other hand, were so used to writing in Spanish that it took some work to get to a place where John didn’t have to correct your grammar every couple sentences.

About halfway through the semester, the two of you had plans to go over your midterm papers in the coffee shop. It was the Friday before it was due and the plan was to meet at 7:00 and hopefully be done before closing. While you definitely had made progress, you were barely halfway done when you realized that the cafe was closing in 10 minutes. And because you were so engrossed in each other’s papers, the barista was the one that had pointed it out to you. They told you that you could take your time packing up, but the two of you cleaned up quickly since you were the last two in the place, and didn’t want to keep them longer than necessary.

As you stepped out to the street you turned to John, “What are we gonna do? We still have so much to go through and edit.”

“I would suggest we could go back to my place, but my roommates are pretty loud and intrusive,” he told you. He had mentioned his roommates a lot, but so far you had never met them and wondered what they were actually like. Apparently, though, that would be for a different time.

“Oh, then we can go to my place, that’s a good idea. I can’t believe I didn’t think of that,” you chuckled at yourself.

“Are you sure? I don’t want to intrude,” John hesitated.

“Yes I’m sure, you won’t be intruding at all. I want you there, Deaky,” you reassured him with a smile that he returned after a second. “Okay, so I live about 10 minutes from here, if you just want to follow me? There’s plenty of parking on the street, I swear no one there drives.”

“Sounds great,” he told you.

“Perfect. See you in 10 then,” you said before opening your door and climbing in. You waited until you saw him get in his car and turn it on before you started to pull out of the parking space and leave the parking lot. True to what you said, it took exactly 10 minutes before you pulled over and parked, John parking right behind you.

You got out and waited for John, leading him up to your apartment with idle chit chat about the neighborhood. Opening the door, you let him in first, and he followed your lead when you took off your shoes once you were inside.

“We can set up here,” you said, gesturing to your living room which had a couch with a large coffee table in front of it. You set down your bag on your couch, but didn’t sit down. “Let’s get some snacks or something first, though. We got those drinks at the coffee shop like 3 hours ago.”

John followed you into the kitchen, trying not to get in your way. He stood awkwardly just inside the entrance and you laughed. Grabbing his hand, you pulled him the rest of the way in and nudged him until he was leaning against the counter, “You’re allowed to be here, you know. I live alone, and you’re certainly not bothering me.”

He nodded but looked away a little bit, trying to hide the slight blush that had covered his cheeks when you grabbed his hand.

“I’m going to make a cuppa, do you want one?” you asked him.

“Yes please, thank you,” he replied.

“So polite,” you said with a smile and started making the drinks. Next, you pulled a jar of unpopped popcorn. “Do you know how to make popcorn? I always burn it.”

“Um, yeah I do. Do you have a pot?” John replied, stepping up to the stove and grabbing the jar from your hands. You went over to a cupboard and opened it, reaching up to get the pot. It proved just out of your reach though, and you strained. John was watching you, and when you stretched your arm as high as it would go, your shirt rode up and he caught a glimpse of your waist underneath your sweater. He stared only for a second before recovering and reaching up to grab the pot for you.

“Thank you,” you said, turning to face him. In doing so, you realized how close he was. His breath was fanning out over you, and you had to tilt your head up to look into his eyes. You hadn’t always thought of John as tall, but when he was standing so close to you that you were practically touching, he really was quite a bit taller than you. You didn’t know if it was your imagination or not, but he seemed to be getting closer and closer to you. Was that the tips of his or your hair tickling your shoulder through your sweater? Was it just you or was his knee touching your thigh? Whose breathing had gotten heavier, yours, his, both? Before you could answer any of these questions, the kettle whistled loudly, causing the two of you to jump apart.

“The water’s done,” you said plainly, and then cursed yourself silently for pointing out the obvious.

“I’ll get started on the popcorn,” John said, as he turned to the stove and away from you. Because he did, you missed the bright pink on his cheeks.

You unplugged the kettle and grabbed two mugs and tea bags from a different cupboard, pouring the water and let them steep. Walking over to the fridge, you opened it and grabbed the milk. “Milk and sugar?”

“Just one sugar, please,” John replied, still a little awkwardly.

You nodded to yourself and went about making the tea, adding sugar to both and only milk to yours. Once they were ready, you handed John his cup and you both sipped on the tea instead of talking while you waited for the popcorn to be ready. When the first kernel popped and hit the lid of the pot, the two of you jumped and then laughed together.

Once the tension had broken, you started talking more normally again, “So, how many roommates do you have again?”

“Three; Freddie, Roger, and Brian. They’re good blokes, things can just get pretty rowdy. Especially when Fred and Rog are in one of their moods,” Deaky replied with somewhat of a wry smile.

“Are they students too?” you asked.

“They’ve all graduated now, I’m the last one,” John explained as he took the finished pot of popcorn off the burner.

“Aw, you’re the baby,” you said teasingly and you poked him in the side.

He made a sound of indignation and turned to you as he poured the popcorn into the bowl you had set out, “Care to explain to me why I should continue making the popcorn while you tease and attack me?”

“‘Cause I’m cute,” you said with a wink before grabbing half a stick of butter to melt on the stove to pour over the popcorn. John didn’t have a response to that, instead he blushed and watched you starting to melt the butter.

“Why don’t you take our tea into the living room and take out our papers and stuff, I’ll be right in with this,” you said as you stirred the butter, nudging his side with your elbow.

He nodded and hastened to do what you said, carefully carrying the mugs into the living room and digging out his things. In a minute, you joined him in the living room, bringing the freshly buttered popcorn with you and a couple napkins.

The two of you dug into the revision and popcorn with the same fervor. With another hour of hard work, you finished all you could for the moment and it was a good stopping place for the night.

You both leaned back on the couch, brains tired from the constant critical thinking you had been doing.

“Essay writing is tough business,” you said with a sigh.

“Agreed. I’d take vector calculus over this any day,” John concurred.

“Can’t relate,” you said turning to him to laugh. As you did, you saw the shine of butter next to his mouth. Without thinking, you licked your thumb and brought it up to his face to wipe it off, saying, “You’ve some…”

That’s as far as you got before you realized that John was staring at you with wide-blown pupils and his mouth parted. Your paused with your thumb still resting on his cheek. John reached up to grab your wrist, but instead of removing your hand from his face, he kept it there. Slowly, you moved your thumb from his cheek to his lower lip. You brushed over it softly and felt his hand tense slightly around your wrist. Bringing your other hand to the other side of his face, you caressed his cheek before gently pulling his face to yours.

You had been watching your hands’ movements on his face and John had been watching your lips, but just before your lips met, the two of you flicked your gazes up to each other's eyes. Upon seeing the same look of desire he had reflected in your eyes, John took the chance and closed the distance between the two of you.

The kiss was soft and chaste. Pulling back slightly, you slid your hand so it was in his and brought his hand to your jaw. Once it was there, you moved both of yours to the back of his neck and pulled him into another kiss. This one was longer, and more testing. After a moment, you lightly sucked on John’s lower lip, and he groaned deep in his throat, causing you to both giggle against his lips and squeeze your thighs together in anticipation. In retaliation, John gave your lower lip a bite and you moaned, making John smirk against your mouth.

Soon, the kiss became more heated, and when John slid his hands from your jaw into your hair and gave a light tug, you parted your mouth in a gasp. He slipped his tongue in your mouth, teasing your own, making you deepen the kiss even further. In order to get better access and be closer to him, and maybe to get some friction that you so desperately needed, you pushed John so he was sat against the back of the couch and slung a leg over his hips so you were straddling him.

***

One of his hands moved from your hair to your waist, and he simultaneously pulled you closer to him as he lifted his hips up to you. You gasped into his mouth, and the two of you rocked your hips together as you continued to kiss heatedly.

John started toying with the hem of your sweater, running his hand along the strip of your waist that had been exposed to him earlier in the evening. Catching his drift, you grabbed the edge and pulled it over your head. Not wanting to be left out, you pulled on his shirt and he took it off too. As you continued to make out and grind against each other, you ran your hands over each other’s exposed bodies.

Making his way from your mouth to your jaw to your neck, John kissed and sucked light marks into your skin. With his hold on your waist, he pulled you so you were kneeling at full height and started kissing down your chest, mouthing at your nipples over your bra. You moaned and whined at his actions.

But, when his lips came dangerously close to the waistband of your trousers, you pushed yourself away a bit, and in between heavy breaths said, “Um, we should, um bedroom.”

John nodded eagerly and let you stand up so you could lead the way. You grabbed his hand and pulled him to his feet, then practically ran to your bedroom with him in tow. Once you pushed open the door and John was inside, he stopped and pulled you to him again, bringing you into a deep kiss. Slowly, he walked the two of you to the edge of your bed, but before you could move onto it, he lifted you by your waist and threw you so you landed gently in the middle of your bed. You giggled on impact and he chuckled with you.

Returning to the mission of before, John climbed on top of you, kissing your neck hotly as he worked the button and zipper of your pants. Before he pulled them down, he looked up for confirmation and when you nodded, he took them off. Left in only your bra and underwear, you reached for John’s own waistband and he helped you take off his pants, kicking them to the floor.

John leaned up and started kissing you again, holding your face in his hands. Your hands moved from his chest to his shoulders, pulling him closer to you. He took the opportunity to grind his hips against yours and you automatically wrapped your legs around him to keep him close. You were spurring each other on to continually roll and thrust your hips as the other gasped and moaned.

Suddenly, John pulled away, but instead of getting up, he reached underneath you, trying to unhook your bra. It proved difficult for him, so, laughing slightly, you said, “Let me.”

Your hands took his place and effortlessly undid your bra, pulling the straps off your shoulders as you removed it. John groaned at the sight of your breasts and you felt your cheeks and chest heat up at the sound. He must have found it endearing because he smiled to himself and started a surprisingly relentless attack on your breasts.

He took a good couple of minutes just to suck hickeys into the tender skin at the top of your breasts, sucking on your nipples lightly every so often just to keep you on your toes. His ministrations made you breathless and desperate for more, and soon you were writhing underneath him, trying to get any sort of friction on your core.

If John knew what you wanted, he didn’t let on, and with a huff of exasperation, you spoke up, “John, can you please move lower?”

He smiled against your chest and replied, “Why would I do that when I’m having such a good time up here?”

“Please Johnny, I need more,” you whined, the nickname just slipping from your mouth.

John groaned at your words and stopped his movements, “Say it again.”

You quickly caught onto what he meant and repeated, “Johnny, please, please, I need you.”

With what almost seemed like a growl, John moved down your body, pulling your underwear off with him. He spread your legs quickly, and you gasped as the cold air hit your wetness. Without hesitation, John licked a stripe up your folds, groaning at your taste. You sighed and threaded your fingers through his hair to keep him close.

John, on the other hand, wanted you anything but relaxed, and started an assault on your pussy. He started by collecting wetness from your entrance on his tongue before moving up to toy with your clit. He kissed, licked, and swirled his tongue on the bundles of nerves until you were squirming beneath him and the hold on his hair had tightened.

When he looked up and saw that your eyes were squeezed shut and your head was thrown back, he moved one hand to his mouth, coating it in his saliva. Then, he pushed his index finger inside you, making you cry out “Johnny!” yet again. He pumped his finger, still paying attention to your clit until your back was beginning to arch and your thighs were trembling. Knowing you were close, he added another finger and sucked harshly on your clit, fingering you quickly until you tumbled over the edge.

Your orgasm was stronger than you expected, and you felt it from your walls that were clenching around his fingers to the shocks of pleasure that coursed up your spine. Gasping out his name as he continued his motions throughout your orgasm, you unconsciously squeezed your thighs together, keeping John as close as possible. As you came down, your breath evened out and you relaxed your legs, John coming back into view once he could lift his head again.

You would have apologized for nearly crushing him, but the look in his eyes was enough to silence any sorry that would have come from you. His eyes were dark with lust and boring into yours. His mouth was still slick with your wetness, and when he kissed his way up your body, he left little tracks that made you shiver when the air hit them.

When he made it to your mouth and pulled you in for a kiss, he pushed his tongue into your waiting mouth so you could taste yourself. You moaned into the kiss, reaching down to palm John through his underwear. Breaking away from the kiss, you pulled down his boxers and his dick, already totally hard, was revealed to you. As you began pumping it in your hands, John moved his attention to your neck, his kisses being interrupted with moans when you swiped your palm over the head to gather his precum and spread it along his shaft.

You continued jerking him off until he pulled away from your neck, giving your lips another short kiss, whispering, “gotta get a condom,” before he got off the bed and grabbed his jeans. As you waited for him, you remained laying down, but moved one of your hands first to your mouth to wet it, then to your pussy and started rubbing your clit.

John didn’t notice your movements until he was opening the condom and started to roll it down his length. “Fuck, you just couldn’t wait?”

You didn’t stop your movements even as John climbed back on top of you. Instead you giggled and shook your head, “Uh-uh.”

He shot back a smile of his own, shaking his head before he reached down and took your hand from yourself, “Leave that up to me, love.”

Next, he moved your legs so they were bent at the knee and were pushed above your hips. “Is this okay?”

“Yeah, hurry up,” you nodded and looked at him expectantly.

John scoffed at your words and look and took his cock in his hand, pumping it a couple times before lining up at your entrance and slowly sliding in. He moaned as he did, “So fucking eager.”

His words, along with how he felt inside of you made you moan out a weak, “Johnny, please move.”

Obliging, John started moving in shallow thrusts, getting both you and him used to each other. When you started reaching up to him, he leaned forward on a thrust in and went deeper than he had before. You both gasped at the feeling, and you held him to you by his shoulders, telling him, “That, do that again.”

John didn’t take any convincing and started thrusting into you in deep, slow thrusts that made you gasp and moan. You could tell he was holding back some though, and told him, “You can go faster, Johnny. Go faster.”

He did, and sped up his pace until you were crying out with every thrust. You could feel yourself getting close and almost reached your hand between the two of you before you remembered his words earlier, “Johnny, please.”

Knowing exactly what you meant, John moved his hand down so his fingers could rub tight circles on your clit. It only took another minute of this before you were tensing up around him and you could only say “Johnny,” over and over.

“Come for me, beautiful. Let go,” John whispered against your lips before capturing them with his own.

The kiss pushed you over the edge again, and you came with a stuttering cry that John swallowed with his kisses. It was gentler this time, but still lifted you to a high that left your body tingling and satisfied.

John kept thrusting into you, at a slower pace so you wouldn’t be overstimulated. You could tell that he was close though, and urged him on by meeting his hips with your own. Wanting to encourage him like he did you, you kissed along his neck until you reached his ear and whispered into it, “Please Johnny, come for me. Oh- please.”

Your words in his ear set him off and in two more snaps of his hips, John was coming hard, letting his head fall to your shoulder and moaning your name into the crook of your neck. He stilled inside of you, catching his breath. His heavy breathing on your neck caused a shiver to go down your spine, and you laughed lightly.

Hearing your laugh, John placed a sweet kiss to your neck before slowly sitting up and pulling out. He got up and went to the bathroom he had noticed on the way to your bedroom. He came back having disposed of the condom and cleaned the two of you off with a warm washcloth before lying next to you again. He laid on his back and you curled up to his side, laying your head on his chest while his arm rested on your body.

***

You traced little patterns on his chest and he played with the ends of your hair. Planting a couple of kisses to his chest, you chuckled to yourself.

“What’s so funny?” he said, tugging lightly on one strand of your hair.

“Well, I was just thinking that now I’m really glad that I didn’t have to pair up with some freshman for peer review,” you told him before both of you cracked up. 

★★★

Taglist: @somekindof-cheese @gwilyoubemine @deacytits @supersonicfreddie @siriuslovesmarlene @bowiequeen @acdeaky @deakysgirl @sunflower-borhap-boys @deakyfordays @queensilveryrog @happy-at-home @ceruleanrainblues @briarrose26

I just kinda created this taglist so if you would like to be taken off or added, just send me a message or ask!

Reminder that my requests are open! If you would like something in a sort of one shot format/length or blurb, etc. send it in! I’ll write for any of the Borhap or Queen boys (Freddie only platonically), Lucy, Patrick Murray, Gardner Langway and adult!Tim Murphy or possibly any of the other characters these people have played if I know enough about them!

[zoesrose]

TEXTS; ZOE & YAS 

pt. 3 - April 2021 - June 2021

APRIL

yasmin puckerman

Hey, you up?

zoe rose

Yes. Is everything okay?

yasmin puckerman

yeah yeah, everythings good I’m just up. Smoking out my window and was just thinking

zoe rose

Thinking about what?

yasmin puckerman

Thinkin bout you

wyd?

zoe rose

I just finished smoking. Laying here. Eating that candy you left here Saturday.

Exactly what about me are you thinking of?

yasmin puckerman

damn that’s where I left that

Your ass mostly

Them dimples you got right above it

zoe rose

I'm glad you mentioned the dimples because I was going to point out that my ass has nothing on yours.

I'll save you a piece.

yasmin puckerman

nah it’s cool, you can eat it. I’ll survive I do have exceptional cheeks

zoe rose

Alright.

You do.

yasmin puckerman

That’s not all I was thinking about tho

zoe rose

Tell me.

yasmin puckerman

we never talked about the night at the empire. Was that what you wanted? I’m

am I supposed to want to go on another d

Idk this shit I got is loud

I’m trippin

zoe rose

That’s not a clear answer. Tell me.

yasmin puckerman

you had a good time right? When we went out that one night

zoe rose

A very good time, yes.

Did you?

yasmin puckerman

hell yeah My bad for whatever I said after. It was just more than usual. I don’t get pushed life that

zoe rose

I didn’t take it to heart, it just meant I did a good job humiliating you. I liked pushing you.

yasmin puckerman

I liked it too

zoe rose

I can’t afford the Grand Empire again but I would like to do that again

yasmin puckerman

being there was hella fun but that wasn’t what made it good so, that’s whatever

zoe rose

The dinner part deserves a redo. Something less stuffy.

yasmin puckerman

so you trying to do the whole thing again?

zoe rose

We don’t have to.

yasmin puckerman

let me plan this one?

zoe rose

This one... date?

yasmin puckerman

Saturday or whenever We don’t have to call it that

zoe rose

Saturday.

yasmin puckerman

Yeah, dope Saturday. Yessir

zoe rose

liked this

Goodnight, Yas.

yasmin puckerman

Night Sir

yasmin puckerman

hey wassup?

zoe rose

Hello, Yas.

yasmin puckerman

what you up too?

zoe rose

Currently? Walking around campus. Hitting that back spot that looks over the water.

yasmin puckerman

oh so you chillin chillin

zoe rose

Yes

Everything okay?

yasmin puckerman

yeah all good. I don’t got nothin to text about, I was just being nosey

zoe rose

You could always come be nosy in person.

yasmin puckerman

yeah true Drop a pin?

zoe rose

Drop a pin, what?

location

zoe rose

Do I come across as an egotistical, saditty serial killer?

yasmin puckerman

egotistical? nah wait is this a trick question?

zoe rose

But yes to the other two?

yasmin puckerman

I didn't say that are you good?

zoe rose

I've been compared to Hunter Clarington and I don't like it.

yasmin puckerman

who tf is that? you need to throw down with someone? I could be in the mood real quick

zoe rose

He's a new Dominant that's taken an extra interest in Marley. She said he reminds her of me and I don't like him, so I needed to ask.

yasmin puckerman

Oh well I can't go fighting Marley

zoe rose

I would never ask you to.

yasmin puckerman

remember this?

zoe rose

So I am that type of Dominant? You really pulled some screenshots on me.

yasmin puckerman

I'm just saying, my feelings on that still stands why you saying it like its a bad thing?

zoe rose

Fuck you're right. I don't know why I'm feeling this way.

yasmin puckerman

bro, are you dropping? wyd, Sir?

zoe rose

Laying in bed. About to smoke this bowl. You?

yasmin puckerman

I was just about to roll

you got company?

zoe rose

No.

yasmin puckerman

do you want some, Sir?

zoe rose

Yes. Come over.

yasmin puckerman

ok dope omw

zoe rose

Door's open.

yasmin puckerman

you feeling better?

If you got a min this week to fit a session

lemme know? (leaf) (smoke) ahead of time maybe? Gotta clear it with the boss them

zoe rose

I’ve got minutes. Tomorrow afternoon.

yasmin puckerman

aight I’ll see what I can do

yasmin puckerman

yooo

you doing shit with your partner toni

do they sleep in your bed? I got the nig

your (plug) got gummies and shit rn?

zoe rose

He always does. Should I text him? He can have it delivered in an hour tops.

yasmin puckerman

yessir, pls $25 of nerds ropes or cookies or sum and a Q of that(fire) for me

zoe rose

You're missing something.

yasmin puckerman

yeah I didn't think that was gonna cut it forever

please and thanks, Sir?

yasmin puckerman

I'm starting an escort business wait that's not how that sounds hold up does it counts as that??

zoe rose

You're going to have to elaborate.

yasmin puckerman

I'm escorting this dude to town tomorrow for a few bucks I could be doing that a couple times just on a weekend morning and bank.

zoe rose

That's smart.

yasmin puckerman

thanks. I be thinking sometimes

zoe rose

You should charge by the hour.

yasmin puckerman

yeah, 35 the first 2 and 20 every hour after.

easy money I need to get shit in town myself tomorrow.

zoe rose

Good girl. Using this as an opportunity?

yasmin puckerman

You wanna swing by Trixie’s surprise party with me Sat?

zoe rose

Sure.

What will you be doing next week?

yasmin puckerman

Chillen Triple weeks no classes

Might pick up a few extra work shift tho, since imma be missing hours for this universal trip

zoe rose

I will also be working my ass off to rack up money.

yasmin puckerman

keepin on that grind  

zoe rose

Then maybe this Summer we can go on an actual trip. You and me.

yasmin puckerman

oh you tryin to steal my ass away for the summer??

zoe rose

Just a part of it.

yasmin puckerman

I like the sound of that.

zoe rose

I'm thinking Miami.

yasmin puckerman

dope I hear Miami jumps

zoe rose

I've been once. It does.

yasmin puckerman

theres a whole other semester to get through first

I'm really about to savor this break bc I'm hella tired of going to class

zoe rose

It's just a few more months.

yasmin puckerman

months

how did your midterm go?

zoe rose

It was fine. Yours?

yasmin puckerman

yeah good, same hb Marley?

zoe roseBOT — 04/24/2021

Hers went smoothly as well.

yasmin puckerman

Thats good no one to square up with

zoe rose

There's always next time.

yasmin puckerman

that makes me miss smight flub

zoe rose

We could go into town next week.

yasmin puckerman

yeah? I'd be down for that

zoe rose

Consider these official orders.

yasmin puckerman

Yes, Miss Sir. cool cool cool, dinner first?

zoe rose

And dessert after.

yasmin puckerman

the dessert is me right?

zoe rose

Yes.

yasmin puckerman

knew it

zoe rose

Come over on Monday too. Since we don't have class.

yasmin puckerman

I would start and end the week with me too if I could

zoe rose

See you Monday, Yas.

zoe rose

I was thinking of renting a car to drive up to Universal. Would you like to ride with me and Marley?

yasmin puckerman

You just want a back seat roller I'm on to you

zoe rose

You could always drive and I could be the back seat roller. I'm not discriminatory.

yasmin puckerman

Aight but if I drive we getting there in 2 and a half minimum

zoe rose

No. I'll drive.

yasmin puckerman

Yeah I knew you were all dry jokes

zoe rose

We'll leave Monday morning.

yasmin puckerman

You got it, Sir. I gotta remember to get my shit packed

zoe rose

Then you can pack my shit.

[ ... ]

Kidding.

yasmin puckerman

probably cause you don't want me picking all your outfits

zoe rose

All of my outfits are the same.

yasmin puckerman

Imma pack my bag and yours with my clothes

zoe rose

No. You're packing your bag and I'm packing mine.

yasmin puckerman

don’t worry. Just jokes I like your style how it is anyway

zoe rose

You're still coming over tomorrow night, correct?

yasmin puckerman

yep You planning to do anything special with me?

zoe rose

What do you want me to do to you?

yasmin puckerman

oh shit I hadn’t thought it throu No ones tied me up in a while

You wanna fuck me til I’m mad about it, Sir?

zoe rose

Wanna try that again?

yasmin puckerman

fuck, really?

I swore I had that one! Okay

Will you tie me up and fuck me til I’m mad about it pls, Sir?

zoe rose

That's better. I would love nothing more.

yasmin puckerman

You want some company now too?

I'm out on my board rn

zoe rose

I always want your company.

yasmin puckerman

So I don't gotta ask? what happens if I just start showing up?

zoe rose

My always wanting you here does not negate your need to ask for things you want.

yasmin puckerman

Do you ask for things you want? Or you always just waiting for me to do it?

zoe rose

I'm sure I've asked for you to come over on several occasions.

yasmin puckerman

when I have time I'm pulling receipts wait, that was a yes right? cause I'm already on my way

zoe rose

That was a yes.

yasmin puckerman

dope

MAY

zoe rose

Are you all packed?

yasmin puckerman

Yeah I think so I suck at packing

zoe rose

I think I over packed.

yasmin puckerman

Yeah? I think I got more toys than clothes.

zoe rose

I got my clothes in one bag, my shoes in one, my make up in another, and my shit in it's own bag too.

yasmin puckerman

Damn you got four bags??

zoe rose

My make up and oiud bags are small so they barely count.

zoe rose

Before I forget, you're under my orders Friday night and Sunday.   And I would like for you to spend Sunday with me and Marley at Disney world. Please.

yasmin puckerman

I mean, since you asked so nicel Friday, yes Sir. Got it. And hell yeah I wanna go to disney. I don't wanna take your time away from Marley though so, you sure?

zoe rose

Perfect. Marley has me to herself on Friday and Saturday, so Sunday the three of us can  spend the day together before we drive back to GroveKey.

Friday is our birthday, so if you'd like to you can give Marley a present. Though I do not want anything. Just to fuck you Friday night.

yasmin puckerman

Oh shit, that's good to know

Did I known that already??

I'll definitely grab her something.

zoe rose

Thank you.

yasmin puckerman

I'm not saying I wont get you anything tho

zoe rose

I suppose I can't stop you.

yasmin puckerman

yup

tell me more about this birthday sex?

zoe rose

I don't think you really want to know. Not asking like that.

yasmin puckerman

Yeah maybe I don't It's your birthday so, whatever you want not that it's not always whatever you want you know what I mean

zoe rose

It'll be a nice surprise for you.

yasmin puckerman

You should let me surprise you tho

zoe rose

I don't like surprises.

yasmin puckerman

not even sexy ones in the shape of me?

zoe rose

Not even those

yasmin puckerman

aight

If you say so

zoe rose

You could always tell me what you wanted to do ahead of time so it’s not a surprise

yasmin puckerman

See this why you’re the smart one between us

zoe rose

So tell me.

yasmin puckerman

how bout I just keep myself ready for friday. you could tell me when to edge over text while you're out having your day whenever you want, on the dime that way by the time your birthday sex comes around I'll already be so fucking desperate for whatever you want to do to me or not do to

if I had hit you with that friday morning you woulda been mad?

zoe rose

Yes.

yasmin puckerman

cool good

zoe rose

I would also like to dress you that day and on Sunday.

Those can be my gifts.

yasmin puckerman

I'm down but thats not your gift nice try tho

zoe rose

It will be better than any material thing you could get me.

yasmin puckerman

well you can just like it more than a  legit thing, that’s fine

zoe rose

Deal.

yasmin puckerman

(laughing)

(peace) (alien) (kiss)

yasmin puckerman

heyyyooooo Happy Birthday

zoe rose

Thank you.

[ 10am ] Now edge for me.

yasmin puckerman

yeah okay. But wait, can I bring you and Marley's gift by before you leave?

zoe rose

The correct response is 'yessir'

We'll wait for you.

yasmin puckerman

aww YESSIR ok cool, thanks oh shit wait hold on. [ ... ]

(mastur.gif)

zoe rose

loved this

Good girl.

yasmin puckerman

omw

zoe rose

[ 12:37pm ] Edge again.

yasmin puckerman

yes, Sir. got you.

masturbate.gif

zoe rose

Fuck. I can't wait to fuck you tonight.

yasmin puckerman

listen YOU can't wait???

this the second time you edged today too ooor

I'm already hella ready for you, still wet since the first time

zoe rose

That's exactly how I want you. Tonight, I want you dripping.

yasmin puckerman

fuck yeah you got it what time you guys coming back? not that I'm rushing you I'm just you know, wondering

zoe rose

Around 9pm. Why? Are you desperate already?

yasmin puckerman

I'm always desperate when you say you're going to fuck me

zoe rose

Is that so? I'll keep that in mind every time I say that.

yasmin puckerman

you gonna be thinkin about me thinkin about you?

zoe rose

I can absolutely admit to that.

yasmin puckerman

dope that mean I got you wet too?

you got any hints about you're planning to enjoy this birthday sex?

zoe rose

I haven't decided yet. There will most certainly be some choking and humiliation involved. Perhaps I'll suffocate you with my pussy.

yasmin puckerman

well damn catch me making sure this seats all clean for you, Sir.

I don't even need air

zoe rose

I’ll be sure to remember that.

[ 2:54pm ] Again.

yasmin puckerman

mastur.gif

can you see how wet I am? these panties been done for, i'm gonna have to change before I head out

zoe rose

Actually, don’t even wear underwear. And wear a skirt. I’m not done with you.

yasmin puckerman

tf am I gonna get a skirt fro yes, Sir

yasmin puckerman

[ 20 minutes later ]

zero underwear, promise

zoe rose

Good girl. As soon as you get to where you’re going, you’re going to slip into the bathroom to edge for me.

yasmin puckerman

imma have to go wipe my thighs anyway so, might as well

zoe rose

Good, I like that you're dripping.

[ 7:21pm ] I'm on my way back. Edge again.

yasmin puckerman

fuck sorry, there was a line for the bathroom

(mastur.gif)

how long does it take to get back, Sir?

zoe rose

I'll be back in my room in less than thirty minutes.

yasmin puckerman

bet. I'm gonna be waiting there wait no, do you need a min?

nah i'm just gonna be waiting th

zoe rose

By the time I get to my room, I expect you kneeling in front of my door.

yasmin puckerman

oh than fu

yes, Sir. you got it. Imma be there.

zoe rose

Good girl.

yasmin puckerman

Did you know it was mothers day?

zoe rose

Yes.

yasmin puckerman

I didn't now I feel like a dick

zoe rose

It's not too late to call her.

yasmin puckerman

I'm waiting for my brother to finish

zoe rose

He beat you to it?

yasmin puckerman

The first time ion think either of us got through but yeah, he did

It's okay, she'll still love me

zoe rose

I'm sure you're fine.

yasmin puckerman

Yeah it was fine, she wasn't mad I told her about Disney Thanks for the invite today

zoe rose

Thank you for indulging Marley.

yasmin puckerman

Nah, that's light work she made it really fun

zoe rose

Yes but there was a lot of things I wouldn't with her that you did.

yasmin puckerman

I had a good time so, it's np did you?

zoe rose

I enjoyed you and Marley having a good time.

yasmin puckerman

I guess thats not a no

zoe rose

It doesn't matter because it wasn't for me. The person who was supposed to enjoy it did and that's all that I wanted.

yasmin puckerman

what would you do for your birthday if it was just for you? besides me, obviously

zoe rose

Sitting on the beach, drinking and smoking. Then maybe a car show or something later in the night. Before coming going home with you for birthday sex.

yasmin puckerman

you wanna do that next weekend? the retirement homies around this island are always having car shits, bet theres something

zoe rose

Yes. Please.

yasmin puckerman

dope I only work until 1 sat

zoe rose

Then you're under my orders for the rest of the weekend.

yasmin puckerman

yes, Sir. I mean, except I got a 6 to close sunday but beside that it'll be dope

zoe rose

We can hit the beach again before you go into work.

yasmin puckerman

you look good on the beach, so I'm down

zoe rose

I'll get the cooler ready.

yasmin puckerman

you wanna dress me?

zoe rose

For the car show? Yes.

yasmin puckerman

cool I like when you do that

zoe rose

Good. I like it too.

yasmin puckerman

loved this

yasmin puckerman

Can this be a regular thing?

zoe rose

You being mine for the weekend?

yasmin puckerman

yeah. Exactly that

zoe roseB

I want that too.

yasmin puckerman

I just might have to work sometimes. Like we did this weekend tho that’s cool, yeah?

zoe rose

I think it worked out this weekend like that.

yasmin puckerman

I think so too, Sir

it was dope

zoe rose

I think so too.

yasmin puckerman

From Saturday morning next week?

zoe rose

Yes, standing orders.

yasmin puckerman

yes, Sir

zoe rose

Good girl. Goodnight, Yas.

yasmin puckerman

Goodnight

yasmin puckerman

hey

morning or whatever

zoe rose

Good morning, Yas.

yasmin puckerman

What you up to today? Besides dumbass class

zoe rose

Just that. Bored out of my fucking mind, you?

yasmin puckerman

mood. same. everyone is always like, you don’t even enjoy the kink classes? Like I’m obviously only taking kink classes. It’s still book work and listening so, I’m still

zoe rose

Especially in the intro classes.

yasmin puckerman

I joined a study group

zoe rose

For what reason?

yasmin puckerman

to copy ppls work also I like the girl running it, she’s sweet

zoe rose

I should have known there was a cute/sweet girl involved.

yasmin puckerman

at least I know what motivates me blonde and everything

zoe rose

And here I thought I was the one set in my ways

yasmin puckerman

whats your thing? brats who are full of themselves

zoe rose

That one is actually new.

yasmin puckerman

hmm, getting adventurous

zoe rose

Seems so.

yasmin puckerman

well I'm hella happy to help  

zoe rose

Send me a pic

yasmin puckerman

of me like right now?

zoe rose

Yes.

yasmin puckerman

zoe rose

liked this

Good angle.

yasmin puckerman

I’m hella sexy from all angles so, thank you

zoe rose

Yes, you are.

yasmin puckerman

Send me one, Sir?

zoe rose

Say please.

yasmin puckerman

Please, Sir?

zoe rose

Good girl.

yasmin puckerman

thanks

saves image

yasmin puckerman

Mind if I kick it with you between a class today or sum?

zoe rose

No. Bored?

yasmin puckerman

Imma see if you’ll let me ask nicely to go down on you.

zoe rose

Ask nicely and we'll see.

yasmin puckerman

If I start saying what I know you’ll say before you say it, that gonna piss you off?

zoe rose

I'm not making any promises.

yasmin puckerman

damn, cause you know I’d like it

zoe rose

So go ahead and try me. What will I say?

yasmin puckerman

hb I just count my lucky stars today and ask where I should meet you? So I can ask properly

zoe rose

My place.

yasmin puckerman

okay cool thanks, Sir

zoe rose

liked this

zoe rose

Today is my turn to ask if I can go down on you between classes.

yasmin puckerman

wait you’re ASKING me???

say pleas

Uh, hell yes I don’t gotta jump through a hoop first?

zoe rose

No. I just want your pussy on my mouth.

yasmin puckerman

fuck yes wherever you want, Sir.

zoe rose

Your room exactly three minutes after our second class ends.

yasmin puckerman

I'll be right on time

zoe rose

Good girl.

yasmin puckerman

I work til 9 tomorrow, you gonna be busy?

zoe rose

I am not. Are you wanting to start our weekend early?

yasmin puckerman

Yes please

zoe rose

Yes, come over after work.

yasmin puckerman

cool also I gotta reup pls, at least a Q

zoe rose

Alright just send me the 70

yasmin puckerman

thanks

zoe rose

liked this

[ ... ]

unliked this

What do you want to do tomorrow night?

yasmin puckerman

you wanna go out?

zoe rose

Out to a club?

yasmin puckerman

yeah, I could get changed at work, meet you back at campus?

zoe rose

Yes. I'll come by your play before you go to work. Pick out when you're going to wear for the night.

yasmin puckerman

okay dope yes, Sir How was your week?

zoe rose

It was satisfactory, no complaints. I went to class, smoked, chilled. You?

yasmin puckerman

It was good, flew by They been doing that lately

zoe rose

I like it.

yasmin puckerman

must be cause of all the relaxing I do come weekends

zoe rose

Is that what we call it? Relaxing?

yasmin puckerman

that’s what I’m calling it its relaxing for me well maybe not always in the moment, but afterward, overall, that shit

zoe rose

Yes. That makes sense.

zoe rose

You sent someone to bring me coffee?

yasmin puckerman

bomb coffee did you like it?

zoe rose

I almost slammed the door in his face.

yasmin puckerman

oh no but you didn’t?

zoe rose

His only saving grace was saying your name. Otherwise he would have gotten the coffee thrown in his face.

yasmin puckerman

damn coffee is hot

wait are you mad?

I should have told you it was coming, I don’t know why I didn’t think of that

zoe rose

I'm not mad. Just thrown off.

You should have.

yasmin puckerman

my fault, I’m sorry

did you like the coffee th

maybe I could make it up to you later?

zoe rose

You're tasked with finding a girl for both of us to fuck at the club.

yasmin puckerman

yes Sir hell yes I'm all over it, any preferences?

zoe rose

Your type. I want to watch you dom someone.

yasmin puckerman

fuck okay yup, I'll keep my eye out

zoe rose

Good. Do you like the dress I chose for you tonight?

yasmin puckerman

Imma look so fine

I like everything you pick for me

zoe rose

I like everything I pick for you too.

yasmin puckerman

[ later ] I got her

coming back rn

zoe rose

I'm in Private Room 6.

yasmin puckerman

okay damn, perfect is this gonna be a just me her thing? or like a me her... me her you?

zoe rose

I'm only watching tonight.

yasmin puckerman

cool, okay dope just give me like 5 mins, Sir?

zoe rose

5 min and not a second more.

yasmin puckerman

yes, Sir

zoe rose

liked this

yasmin puckerman

I know I just left but, can I come over?

zoe rose

You really should have just stayed with me the extra day.

yasmin puckerman

I thought I'd be a big girl and sleep in my own bed tonight but nah

zoe roseBOT — 05/31/2021

Come here.

yasmin puckerman

yes, Sir

zoe rose

liked this

JUNE

yasmin puckerman

do you wanna fuck me at lunch, Sir? please? I'm in a hella bad mood

zoe rose

No. I’m not in the mood.

yasmin puckerman

okay you good?

zoe rose

Yes. Why are you in a bad mood?

yasmin puckerman

because it feels like a Monday

and I'm irritating

zoe rose

You’re irritating?

yasmin puckerman

YES me.

annoying tf out of my self

zoe rose

Take a smoke break. You'll feel better.

yasmin puckerman

you're so fucking right oh shit, thats why! I slept in so I didn't have time to this morning

zoe rose

You're welcome.

yasmin puckerman

i thought I was just in a fight with me thanks, your wisdom is plentiful

zoe rose

liked this

We got this new strand, Skywalker OG. You want?

yasmin puckerman

hell yes and also yes please

zoe rose

Good girl. You'll be getting Chinese food later on tonight.

yasmin puckerman

okay dope but I might only be able to swing a 8th rn, I gotta check the funds

zoe rose

Pay me back next paycheck.

yasmin puckerman

music to my ears

zoe rose

Mhm.

yasmin puckerman

you were def right

and I hella want to kiss you

I feel better now

zoe rose

Good.

yasmin puckerman

hey

zoe rose

Hello.

yasmin puckerman

fuck I wasn’t expecting that

zoe rose

I know.

yasmin puckerman

is this an invite? or am I being teased?

zoe rose

It's always an invite.

yasmin puckerman

yeah always? I get out of work in 55 minutes.

zoe rose

Not that you're counting or anything.

yasmin puckerman

yeah I am def counting 54 minutes

zoe rose

And how long does it take you to get here?

yasmin puckerman

20 mins ish

zoe rose

Door's open. Come into the bedroom naked.

yasmin puckerman

hell yeah yes Sir.

zoe rose

liked this

yasmin puckerman

holy shit the pride tourist wave has hit grovekey it's been so fucking busy

zoe rose

Are you getting paid more?

yasmin puckerman

[ backdated ] I wish I was bout to go on a break though so I got a solid 15 mins to sit my ass down

zoe rose

Only a couple more hours. FT while I roll?

yasmin puckerman

I was just about to ask that

3 more mins and I’m headed out back.

zoe rose

Yes. Just call.

[ see here ]

yasmin puckerman

I just rolled a fatty, want me to come by?

zoe rose

Yes.

yasmin puckerman

Orange soda?

zoe rose

Yes, please.

yasmin puckerman

Dope. I'll be there in 5

hold on munchies kicked in and I'm staring into this vending machine like it owns my life do you think I want a reeses or a kit kat?

zoe rose

I thought you were waiting to smoke with me. We both want Reeses.

yasmin puckerman

nah I said I rolled I had one ready one my way home before I showered and changed maybe I should go with skittles. that meatball sub I had at work is not sittin right, chocolate probably wont help

Or them little mini cookies

zoe rose

Mhm. Not cookies, you just said chocolate won't help.

yasmin puckerman

so I don’t work sat but there’s an alum event I want to hit up at 7, do I need to ask permission or some s that cool with you Sir?

zoe rose

Which event is that?

yasmin puckerman

poker night

well it’s a men’s only thing but I wanna see if they’d let me ride and I’m cute or whatever, I’m sure I can convince somebodies rich daddy

zoe rose

Okay. You’re still ordered to my room after.

yasmin puckerman

dope It goes to 11 but I don’t think I’ll need that long to clean up$$ and head out

zoe rose

Where is it going to be held?

yasmin puckerman

someone said it was gonna be at that oak club place

zoe rose

Will you need an escort?

yasmin puckerman

yeah I will

zoe rose

Want it to be me?

yasmin puckerman

hell yeah I was gonna just figure something out but that’d be dope I’m so mf good at poker

just gotta find out what the buy in is so I’m prepared.

zoe rose

if there's a difference you can't make, I got you

yasmin puckerman

If it come to that, I’ll give it right back after I triple it

zoe rose

Alright.

Which seminars are you signing up for?

yasmin puckerman

Just the switch one if I’m gonna be forced into an extra class this week at least it’s Miss Bakers she aight

zoe rose

That's smart.

yasmin puckerman

you pick any?

zoe rose

I'm looking now. I might just do the TPE class since it's in my wheelhouse.

yasmin puckerman

yeah might be interesting, good thinking

zoe rose

Besides me dressing you, have you ever experienced TPE in the submissive role?

yasmin puckerman

nah but, I’m taking that intro class right now

zoe rose

I want to explore that with you.

yasmin puckerman

like an all day thing?

zoe rose

Starting with a few rules. Then leading up to an all day thing.

[rishyabaney]

I'm proud of myself

So... Idk y I'm making this post... But here goes nothing... Tl/dr at the end..

So, flashback a few months and you would have probably seen me hiding from the world in my room. At the time, I felt as if the world was too much and in a way, I was able to relate to all those pics about how 'the world is scary as an adult, and thus I wanna be a kid again'.

I was in college studying econs, a new language (French), and 2 psy subjects l, in which one of them was driving me mad. I would now say it was just due to the way I overthinked my assignments, coursework and tests, and how I mismanaged my time due to finding everything burdening and thus pushing it aside to deal with them when I'm ready, and guess what?

I never allocated time for them. And so they piled up and I panicked until one day, I was running late for one of my classes. My mom was yelling at me, I was trying to put on my pants, and it just happened. I knew how to get away from it all. I would just drop out.

It seemed so simple. Just stay in my room and don't open the door. Then it would all somehow magically go away. So, I stopped yelling back at my mom to inform her that I'm coming. I shut my door, locked it, took of my clothes, and just laid on my bed, staring at the ceiling as my room got brighter as it was in the morning.

And then the hell ensued. You see, I have done this all before, skip a few classes and what not. But that was in school, which is kinda free in my country. But this is college. My parents worked so hard to ensure we had the money to go to uni and this is what I'm doing. And yes, I was a very spoilt brat.

My mom first started to make sure that I really know how much $$ I'm pouring down the drain. Then she called my dad, who said this may only happen for 1 day as he knew last night I was awake on my laptop (I was watching code geass.. Although I do remember watching it when I was a child... So I guess it's rewatching), so I would have been tired (which I was... So this could be one of the reasons)

You see, while I did say this may have a way I "escape from it all", at the time, my plan was to skip a few days of uni and catch up. Which certainly wasn't the case. So like old times sake, everytime I went down, I got my usual lecture on how I'm wasting my life (told in a sad tone), how others are working so hard to try and get a life as good as mine (told in a frustrated tone), and how my "friends" were missing me (which I don't even have... Wut??), by my mother.

But the real kicker is that I just did not catch up at all. I just thought I'll do it later. And again, that never happened. After 3 days, which was the normal amount of days I would skip continuously, my mom kinda realise that I ain't gonna head beck to uni.

So, I don't really remember the sequence of events, but it went a little something like this.

1) my mom called up the uni to try and figure out what happened (like if there was bullying or anything... Idk... I didn't even know she called until later on)

2) my mom started to find if there is a place she can dump my sorry ass at (I think I'll elaborate on this topic later on)

3) she started to see if she can block only my electronics from the house wifi (cos the in Internet is always the root cause of all "youth deviance"

4) "pled" with me/tell me how she hates me for doing this

5) everyone branding me a freeloader

6) stop letting me have any food/eating up all the leftovers so I would not have anything to eat anymore if I sneak downstairs to eat late at night when they are asleep

7) keep reminding me about how my parents won't live long (they are very old and both have health conditions which have also been passed down onto me and my sister [.. Yay])

So, you may say this is normal for family to do this to guide you back to go to uni. But not for me. I still do not know the rules in Malaysia and if how my parents were planning to boot me out was legal. But they were getting there alright. Now at the beginning of last year, I got my phone replaced with a new one, and this new phone already had Instagram downloaded. So I started to go back into Instagram. I would post regularly and such (like the post underneath this is).

But during this time, I felt so ashamed that I decided to hide the fact that I have stopped going to uni from my school friends. I only posted food related pics such as the one from deepavalli. I even deleted the posting I made about the invitation I got to go to a ceremony (?) for getting on the deans list during my 2nd semester (I'll elaborate on this topic later).

But after some time, I kinda got uses to it. My mom gave me a deadline that if I did not continue next sam (the sam that has just passed), she was kicking me out. I started to find places to stay and work opportunities. And that was when it kicked in. There isn't really any good future of you don't have at least a degree in Malaysia. Like you can barely find anything. Many jobs that pay less are often given to kids who are still in school for a part time job, or they don't pay enough for you to survive if you are to live on your own, till you would need to get a few part time jobs, or go to the dark side (underground stuff... Something that idk how to get to). So basically I'm screwed.

And then a few days later, I found a song back fom the mid 2000's. It was a song about a child dying (the song is called "Terlalu Istimewa"). It just got me thi King about how everyone's gonna go, and throughout my parents last few years, do I really want them to have to wonder what is going to happen to their failure of a daughter? I went to my parents bedroom when my mom was in it alone, and I told her the golden words she was wanting to hear for some time (I forgot what exactly I said though).

"I think I'll go back to uni"

Of course I knew what all is gonna happen. At the time I thought my grades were gonna be flopped as I definitely f'ing failed. But to my surprise, my mom said that she will call in and see when we can see the head of my course. She said they already prepared for this and that it is all going to be well.

Remember when I said my mom wanted to send me somewhere. This is where the truth is unfolded. So I was diagnosed with asperger's syndrome when I was 13 in 2012. She had sent me to a home for 2 months when I did a similar shenanigan in 2015. But it costed my family a lot so they brought me back home. Till this day I still do not quite comprehend what my syndrome is (eventhough I'm majoring in bloody psychology), and how I was diagnosed with it.

So why is this important, you may ask. Because I was literally DYING when she told me that she had "explained" to the lecturer (the head of the department is also my lecturer... And I'm getting her again next semester). I just wanted a metroid to hit earth and kill me. I don't like it when people say "oh this person has something wrong with them" and etc. I feel as if they look down on me (but not y'all on Tumblr as you dont see me in real life). When I registered to join my uni, I specifically told my mom to never, ever mention about it. In fact, I found it quite hilarious that someone like me is studying psychology.

But the fact that she has told that made me so scared. I just wanted to hide under my blankets for the rest of existence. But then again, I'm gonna turn 20 soon, so I better act my age (this year I'm turning 20... All this time I felt as if if I still had a 1 in front of my age, I was still young... But I'm now gonna turn 20, a quarter of the average human life expectancy is over 😭😭😭).

So I went in the next day and got found out that mom was ready for my lil' shitty "tantrum" and stopped me 1/2 way, so she dropped me out of the subjects instead of making me fail them for not finishing my assignments and such. She also got back some of the tuition fees. My lecturer did not judge me that much (but let's see this coming semester), and I did not bump into my group mates (we have a lot of group assignments... So yeah... I let the down a lot).

So now that all of that is out of the way, you may be wondering what happened this sam. Well, let's say I was really bloody scared during the first few days as I thought I was going to bump into my old group mates and such. That was not the case of course. Other than the librarian exclaiming that I skipped 1/2 the sam out loud to a few kids, nothing else happened. I retook the psychology subject that gave me a hard time last sam, rekindled a few friendships that drifted apart due to time, and kinda mended back my relationship with my mom.

Some of my group mates this year seemed a little tough to deal with, but hey, it ain't a group project without someone (or in my case, some people) slacking off. I had to do some spoonfeeding to some of my group mates eventhough I too was lost at some parts, but I can vow that when people say teaching others help you comprehend the topic better, it is true but can only be done if you have patience and good blood pressure.

But of course there were also some stuff that ticked me off. I would often claim myself to be a lazy, procrastinating perfectionist. This is because I'm very lazy and I always want to show the best, I mean who doesn't. So when it came to the deans list this that was mentioned earlier, I wanted to go. But for my 3rd sam, I got out of the deans list for not maintaining my cgpa. In fact I only got in due to getting a 3.52 for my cgpa (to get in you need a 3.5), so I was already ashamed for that. I did not feel as if I was worthy of it I guess. So when I came back this sam, I was determined to get back in.

But as things got tough and I say the nice GPA slipping away from me with every orang and red grade I got (not godd grades to get), I felt myself returning back tk my old ways. Sleeping late doing nothing. There was even a lime in which I skipped a class, but I lied and told mom it was cancelled. She bought the lie as usual. It was at that moment I realised that many other uni students were like me. You can see that the new students always aim for high grades but the seniors just aim to pass the subjects. I know that is a crappy attitude to have, but my sister was also able to graduate just be receiving the passing grades all the way. I realised that this is the way we need to be in order to survive. And it is not wrong.

I know if my mom were to hear me say this she would be disappointed and I k ow many of you would be saying "you need to be the best person you can be" etc. But honestly if it means breaking down like that again, then no. I do not wanna make other people worry about me and such if it means I can't always be the best so be it. If it means I would not need to always be worrying if the way my sentence could be better and such instead of "having fun" etc, then yes, I would gladly give it all up. Honestly, I feel as if going to uni has made me a different person. I felt so self-conscious and it made me feel like shit.

But I guess what I'm trying to convey is that if you feel like the world is too burdening, don't f'ing kill yourself (like some weirdos tell you to on Tumblr [srsly, you would rather get rid of porn instead of the real cancerous negative on this platform... I see that your priorities are as straight as ever Tumblr]). Instead try to find something to inspire you, or maybe if you are not a bloody social pariah like me, you may find friend to support you. And always remember, there are others who have it worst that you. So STOP BEING A F'ING CRYBABY, GET OUT FROM UNDERNEATH YOUR BLOODY COMFORTERS, AND REJOIN THE REAL World. Cos guess what, no one is gonna spoonfeed you and take care of you till the bloody end. You need to stand up for yourself cos this world is a disgusting and cruel place.

Tl/dr: I stopped going to uni, found some inspiration to go back. Then things got tough again, I stopped caring, bacame a husk of who I turned into since entering the competitive world of uni, and now I have found happiness.

[perfectionistincrisis]

Life these days!

Hmph :) So i have never..no let me write that in caps! So i have NEEEEVEEERRRRRRR (aha👌) felt this before. Like no, no its not cause i dont have a good vocabulary or something or like im not good with words or something, i mean those are not the reasons. But but i REALLY REALLY find it impossible to describe -IN WORDS- how much I feel for him. Like you know how somethings bugging you..Oh well everything bugs me.. And i DIEEE to tell him..But i cant🙃 So idk I just talk to myself maybe or like atleasr i have words i can use. But like those stuff are wordless. He means so much to mee.. And God!!!!!!! You have no idea how restless you feel when you have to keep such strong feelings suppressed within you! So normally I had some stuff to do. Like arranging my room, my clothes, my shoes, my stuff n all and i thought ill do them towards the end of vacation or in other words after my bro leaves which is like in 10 days but then i already feel like vacations ending. Now i dont mean that in a 'dramatic' way like you know, how your whole life every vaaction when its ending theres this sadness or happiness, well that depends. But like i mean there is some emotion you have towarss it and its like a "thing" like OH noo or oh yaaaayyy *dramatic* vacs almost over!!!!! Bleh -- yeah that ^ isnt there anymore. Cause like now im more of living life one day at a time. Like sure as hell i have plans/ dreams for future but when im 'living' a day at a time and you know that saying about how lifes a 'journey not a destination' - well ive been hearing it SO much since i was a kid. As in its such a mainstream quote that i just took it as something cheap and tacky w/o ever even realizing what it wants to say. I mean ok i do understand ehat it means but only now i can realize the 'depth' of it after experiencing life a bit. I think it means to say that life is ongoing, it will forever be until ofcourse we pass away. But like, then 'passing away' is the end point aka destination BUT nothing else before that is. So since passing away is certain we can ignore it and say that theres no 'destinatiom' in life. What we usually mistaken as destination are our 'dreams/ goals’ in life. But no, they are not destinations or end points. They are your targets. You want them, and yes you will adjust your life in order to focus and head towards your targets and youll be fighting for it and eventually you will reach it one day but. Your life will not end there. It does not end there. You keep living. New problems may come up. New targets will arise. So you see? Life is ongoing. May be these days youre living life but its not anywhere close to your dreams/ goals but BUTTTTT your life right now is also AS REAL as the life youre always picturing in your head. IT. IS. AS. REAL! so yeah life is ongoing. Its vacation now but yeah it wont be anymore and its not just the fact that it wont be vacation anymore but to add to that itll be SUPER hectic but yeah thats life and then before you know it therell be a vacation and then itll end and blaablaa. Life goes on!!!!! And you need to be okay with it and face anything that comes in your way with an open heart! I said face it. Means sometimes you need to accept, sometimes fight, sometimes struggle, sometimes cherish. Aha soooo ok lets get back to what i was sayin :3 Yeah so i mean its almost a month left, and for me i kind of feel like vac almost ending and i just dont really want to keep sruffs like cleaning and organisjng for the week before uni will start. So i did it this week. Also i kind of eat now. Like 'listen to my heartc typa eat. Like not apples and almonds and tea all day! So i also need to work out and so i decided this week i was going to focus on arranging my room, washing my scarves and all and my shoes and stuff and working out and eating and chilling. So well im not really done with it but its going ok. Also the reason i feel like vacation's almost over is because i finally came to know which 'rotation' i am going to start with in 4th year! So its like normally in 4th year there are 4 rotations. Surgery, Pediatrics, Internal Medicine and OB Gyne. So the females get the first 2 rotations that i mentioned above in semester 1 and the males get the last two. And in semester 2 females get last two and vice versa! Now within females/ males - you divide into 2 large groups. So 2 female groups - one starts semester 1 with surgery the other starts with peds. And similarly for males. So the whole batch is divided into 4 larges groups and at any time of the year all the 4 rotations are going on with different groups. Now lets talk about any ¼ group. So in that one group, theres roughly around 50 girls for example & they will start with lets say ‘surgery’. So now among those 50 girls, theyll need to make smaller groups of 5 members each so like 10 small groups of surgery. And now this 5 girls will be together for the whole rotation in the hospital. They go to see patients together. They meet the doctor together and everything. Only once a week there is ‘academic day’ on any specific day depending on your rotation and on that day all the 50 girls will have class at uni and like its a long day usually till 5 with many lectures by doctors. Aha so to summarize, that's how it all works! Now the thing is. People have preference. Like which rotation do you want to start with? Surgery or Peds? Haha Also, the thing is you dont get to decide! You just randomly form two big groups of equal number of girls and then they will assign a rotation randomly! But then people have preferences! Like some wants to start with surgery & some with peds. Now both has advantages & disadvantages! Surgery - ok this is hard! Its a fact, not my opinion! And it doesnt just end there! The doctors who teach surgery well let me rephrase..The “surgeons”! Well they're “surgeons” so they kind of expect you to know how everything works in the hospital right from Day 1 & they are less friendly, they teach less and expect you to know more! But if surgery is your 1st block how will you possibly know how things go in the hospital! So yeah you need to be alert always! Ok but the good side to starting with surgery is that since youre starting with it right after vacation youre all energetic and motivated and all and you can give it the attention and energy it really demands! But with time you seriously feel less motivated and its harder to study for uni! Well that is no excuse to slack off but then yeah in order to not slack off you need to work harder and harder! So thats the thing! Surgery is just easier to handle if started first but then the surgeons are the problem! Now peds. So yeah the things goods & bads of peds is the opposite of surgery! The doctors are extremely friendly and they teach but but peds is boring. Infact i personally hate peds and obgyne! So yeah! Now at first i wished i start with surgery but then with time I wanted peds. Cause like I really want to work hard for each and every block and so the timing of the rotation shouldnt matter! Whenever whatever comes, i have to face it and ace it! Simple as that. So if i start with peds I will also be able to start with friendly doctors and will have enough time to get to know how things work in the hospital rather than having surgeons who expect you to know everything on day 1! BUT BUT thats just my preference which switch from surgery to peds and anyways final say is not in my hands AND TO ADD TO THAT, more than what i preferred, i honestly left it more to Allah to give me whatever He thought was best for me. So like id say peds sounds good, but then I wouldnt like baaaaaadly want it and all like id be fine with either because im praying to Him to take care of it and help me through the entire path! Aha. So I got surgery! And i didnt feel bad even for a second. I mean. Oh surgery? Ok yeah cmon show me what you got!!!!!! :3 haha So yeah cause like now ik ill be starting eith surgery and then later peds. And like i mean just imagine like vacation started end of May and since then until beginning of this week youre completely clueless wth youll start the next year with and all is kinda confusing and then you finally know youll start with surgery. OHHHH! HOW COULD I MISSS THIS OUT. Like SURGERY!!! You GET IT????? Surgerys the REAL DEAL. i mean surgery is my thing. I never joined med school thinking ill be a ‘doctor’! I entered med school thinking ill be a ‘surgeon’ inshaAllah. AND it has never changed! So yeah! Now i never said it i think, but, i chose medicine because IN MY OPINION this is the most realistic way in which you are doing something for humanity which ultimately contributes to your religion i.e. to Allah and therefore for your own self for the Hereafter. I am aware that there are a zillion other ways to do so but i think this is number one on the list. Or if not 1 at least in the top 10! Now it doesnt end there. So first, i chose “medicine” for this reason. Now, yeah it doesnt end there. I want to be ‘involved enough’ in doing the job that i need to use to -use my own hands- to do so!!!! And thats nothing but surgery! Yeah! Thats basically what im about :):):) Aha okay so i started typing and then i keep talking talking talking and now idk what i wna say. Im all over the place looool Okayyy i need to go now! Just one thing i missed oh! Him. There's SO much of emotions stuck in me. SO Strong.. I dont think I have ever felt for him, or can ever feel for him AS MUCH AS I feel for him right now.. ❤

[mahirarichie]

I don't know where to start. I have so many things to say and i have been stalling to write this post since forever. Okay. Let's start with where i am now. I am currently in uia, sem2 started on 4th feb. I am now coming into my 4th week of the semester and so far so good lah. Alhamdulillah. I signed up for 3 things!! Poetry club, dance club and clairvoyance. But i haven't received any news on clairvoyance so idk if i got to be a part of the team. So far, i only had the poetry club induction and it was real good. Everybody was so talented and welcoming!

Anw, that weekend after degree started i had my appointment as per usual,, and the doctor casually dropped a bombshell. At first she was like 'alah okay je results ni' and then when she took the paper to read my urine results, she paused and said, "okay, quite high"....... :)

And then i had to get my eyes checked because she gave me this ubat called plaquenil which i have to take for 2 months. And it turns out that the ophthalmologist was my neighbour. N e ways, i have sle now... ok tbh i always knew it was something like that because mama dah syak since the very first time i pergi hospi sg buloh sbb the butterfly rash. But the derms semua cam no lah ni rosacea so cam okay nice at least not sle uknow. But like hhhhhhh. And haritu mama pergi seminar and ada this thing cam autoimmune disease testing dekat hkl but dk yet when nak pergi. Mama said she's getting tested too. Kinda emo. Entah lah, tak tahu why every time i fikir about getting tested i cam emo. Maybe i'm not ready for the legit confirmation?? Idk??? Sebab cam my derm diagnose sle pun bc my protein & skin so cam mild je the symptoms. So like nak pergi tested for it like legit legit cam idk lah. Even though i dah tahu i cam sedih? And like emo sangat sebab i'm so lucky and blessed sebab i dapat tahu awal. I'm only 20 so like i still have time to shape a healthier lifestyle. Oh and the day after i went to this gluten free baking class and it was too much for me? Sebab that host cam banyak kali cakap dekat i your immune system is not yours anymore. I think she mentioned it like thrice,,,,, hhh. So cam emo gila after the class. And i'm also sad because i believe that a test is always a blessing. Tak kisah la in what form is the test, all of it is a blessing because it is meant to teach you something. And to me, having this thingy cam banyak gila hikmah dia and one of it is getting closer to Him. Tapi sometimes i rasa berdosa gila because i know i am a sinner and Allah still gives me these ujian and like terharu i guess idk??? Cam emo gila bila fikir balik like He tests me and these things yang make me closer to Him. Tah la rasa cam emo!!!! Sbb i know i sin a lot u know and i read somewhere yang Allah tests us because He loves us nd idk i cam emo n terharu im sobbing. And haritu i cried dekat mama sebab im scared and all and she told me that nak masuk syurga tu susah. It's not easy. And who knows, one of the ujian that Allah kasi you cam That is the ticket for you to enter heaven. So like, always sabar and be thankful whenever you dapat an ujian cause it might be the ticket kan. Im so emo tonight hh nak peemee kot..

Kay kay till next time huhu

[markyishanthonymartinez]

4/17/17

i rushed home to hopefully do this before you check.

today was alright i guess.

no. no no no. 

today was great. like sometimes i think about my days and I'm like, “eh yeah it was pretty normal, decent day, whatevs,” but like that’s so dumb. like most days are so great. today was average, but there’s so many great awesome wonderful things that happen every day that i dont think about or appreciate cause i’ve become desensitized to them as being good things and that’s no bueno. 

okay gonna talk about even the lil tings.

i woke up a bit late if i’m being honest, but that’s okay. i sprung straight out of bed and made a quick breakfast (quietly of course, cause logan was slep). ate, got dressed. okay tbh i looked cute af today. i wore one of my fav shirts, which is my pink state champs shirt and like i just really think soft colors really work well with me cause they kinda play well with how dark and defined my hair and facial features are and stuff (honestly that’s probably why like 60% of my closet is white shirts). but yeah and not to mention that pink is kinda polarizing and makes people double take and idk fam, i paired that with my favorite khakis (cuffed up once of course), my normal black vans that i’ve probably worn for like 100000 days straight, and my black bomber jacket that i wear sempiternally. idk i thought the fit was fly af and i felt dank and looking good=feeling good and feeling good is always worth noting. 

went to class. instrumentation is half pointless at this point, cause like we already had our last midterm and the final isn't a written final, the only final for the class is a lab practical. and we’ve learned all the things that the practical could be on. so like in a very loose use of the word, class is kinda pointless the rest of the way. obviously there’s homework and learning and stuff so it’s not completely pointless, but having that in the back of my head just makes it a bit difficult to give my undivided attention in class. even poles was doing other stuff and he’s alwayyyyyyys the attention-payer. bags and jeff are always on their phones and I'm kinda in the middle 4ever. wait also, we got our test scores posted online like a week ago, but he hasn't even mentioned passing the test back to us and like, “fam... if the tests are graded and the scores are entered into canvas then why can't i have it?????????? @ ME” 

after class, as we do every monday, wednesday, friday, we went to the ecc and put in two hours of homework time. i almost finished the mech design due thursday and that’s good cause i need to turn my attention to the heat transfer test on thursday as soon as i can. OH DANG ALSO i finally listened to the new kendrick record. that probably sounds ridiculous considering how hyped i was for kendrick last night and i hadn't even listened to his record, but lemme essssplain. i, mark anthony martinez, love love love listening to records in full and will hold off listening to singular songs until i find the time to run through a record. i just love following the story and letting it all hit me in one fell swoop. but yeah DAMN. is DAMN. absolutely wonderful. kendrick has really outdone himself, and that’s saying something considering his last two releases have been instant classics. i just identify so much with the record and i can't say enough great things. but yeah gr8 times, did hella homework and listened to gr9 record, happy merk. 

then we all walk together to systems. okay this one asshole has been kinda trying to take our seats for the past two weeks and i’m gonna kick his teeth in next time he does it.... okay not really i’ve never been in a fight. but forreal, WE’VE SAT THERE ALL SEMESTER, 1-2-3-4-5. JT ON THE END, THEN ME, THEN POLESIES, FOLLOWED BY JEFF, AND FINALLY BAGS. EVERYONE ELSE RESPECTS SEATS. WHY CANT YOU, YOU DISRESPECTFUL UNGRATEFUL TURD BASKET. no, but really, fam has sat in the row behind us allllll semester and like just last week he decided to try us? nahhhhh, aint gonna fly. 

anyways, jt didn't get a seat with us because of that, and like he just walks up and loudly proclaims, “DAMN MAN, WHY DO PEOPLE GOTTA FUCK UP THE STATUS QUO?” same jt, same. 

systems was dope. it’s probably my most fun class considering how dynamic and interesting and just all things it is. v hard, but i love to dip my mind into the material. 

wow okay i just peeked at the clock and whoops.

ummm okay then i came home with poles and bags and logan was on the couch watching the arsenal game on his phone cause i guess the nbc sports xbox app wasn't working. so i came to the rescue and put the game on my laptop and connected it to our projector, yay haps logan. 

then we all hung out for a bit and did guy stuff.

talk shit about each other and talk about memes and make fun of bags for breaking poles’ garbage disposal

arsenal won, logan was haps, i wasn't lol. 

then poles left to go try to fix his garbage disposal lol. and logan bags and i kinda just hung out and continued the previous activities and yeah. bags left for work and logan left for the airport and i did homework while listening to más kendrick. 

then i had a game tonight. tyler didn't show up... which is weird cause like he’s the one that organized this and like is one of our better players and prettttty sure he took and nap and just slept through everything lol. but anyways, we played tke. FUCK TKE. (in case bags reads dis). but yeah uh they weren’t very good. like they weren't garb, and had a few solid players, but in the grand scheme of things they did a lot of nothing lol. we had soooooo many chances that we didn't put away. we got the first goal through nathan early on. then they tied it up and kinda celebrated all over the place, which sorta kinda maybe pissed me off. so, naturally, i scored a beautiful little heel flick that drew cheers form the tke crowd lol. and then nathan set me up beautifully for a second that i got really clean connected on and drilled passed the keeper from outside the box. it ended like that 3-1. oh oh oh also one of the refs was a rad friend that lived on my floor in the dorms that i hadn't seen in 15k years so that was nice to see her. oh wait at the end, okay hold on, why am i always a dickhead? like the the crowd kinda got on my nerves a few times cause they were just being overly rambunctious. so what does lil ole mark decide to do? i go into sarcastic mark mode, but not verbally (well okay a lil verbally), mainly physically. like one time they kicked the ball out and said they were all like WTFFFF FAM THAT WENT OUT OFF HIS BACK. and like it defs didn't and the refs knew it didn't and i’m kinda just chuckling and then one of them is like, “see, he’s laughing, he knows it went off his back” so of course, what do i do. i literally point at my back and just lay down in the middle of the court. then there were other things here or there, but yeah i was nice most of the time. 

came home, eating pizza, gonna shower and slep now. 

april seventeenth is a beautiful day.

happy birthday lil ms orange

ilylots

hope you did fun things//and even if you’re old and grody, stay beautiful

- mark anthony martinez

[swearronchanel]

My thoughts during 6.04🙃

You know me by now, I have a lot running through my head when I watch Call The Midwife but don’t we all?? Just saying now it’s long lol

“Our deepest desires are never simple” already deep af Vanessa

MY BBY TRIXIE is SERVING LOOKS😍 LOVE HER OUTFIT

SHE’S ON THE KEEP FIT SIGN AH

What’s up with Sister J dramatically putting on her veil?

Patrick’s going to give Shelagh roses aw omg

Why is he acting so weird with Tim?

Keep fit lit, shit I need to get fit again 😂 I’m going to Miami in less than a month & I’m fat damn Lmaoo whoops

SHELAGH💕😭 my bby. We are regressing in wardrobe though, what happen to the cuter nighties

“I prefer pink anyway” aww

Don’t fuck with Sister Douglas. She’s not taking any shit

Trixie smacking Barbara hips emphasizing “sensible briefs” 😂😂

Shelagh in the wheelchair, I can’t 😭😪 don’t cry bby

PHYLLIS, A GEM

Trixie if you’re unfit then what am I?

“I’m hanging on too”  😭💔

I need Trixie’s black pyjamas, also I need to look like Helen George like how do I become that perfect ?

But being more realistic, I want Trixie’s wardrobe

Poor Marnie

But um that kid is too big to be in a pram?? I see so many too old kids in coches all the time in Manhattan & it bothers me lol

Aw Shelagh laying down, she’s so pretty omg

fuck she’s bleeding again no

BRB CRYING AS SHE CRIES

Tom is so handsome but I don’t like the gelled up hair

Also glad Trixie asked him to visit Marnie

“Elderly primigravida, aged 36” there’s everyone’s answer 😭 so what is Shelagh & Patricks exact age difference?

My poor bby 💔💔 you don’t deserve this

This doctor is kinda an asshole wtf?! I will fight him. He can catch these firey hands for his shitty bedside manner with bby

Yes Shelagh you tell him!

“They’ve gone to hell in a handcart” me handling this semester to be honest

{Phyllis on being akela} “I find small boys exasperating” SAME, THEY ARE GREMLINS AH, I don’t like little boys older than like 7 years old😂

Did I mention I love Phyllis yet? Cause I do

@ dot, I don’t see you helping her keep her flat but you want her child?

I👏🏼don't👏🏼like👏🏼this👏🏼Doctor👏🏼

FUCK YES DELIA, TELL HIM, “though she be but little she is fierce”

I’m pretty sure that’s what Anna had in Downton Abbey?? why do they make it seem like it’s a new producer?

PHYLLIS TESTING WHISTLES, YES.JUST YES. I APPULD EVERY THING SHE DOES

So Trixie picked out magazines & Phyllis sent candy but UGGHH I’m still upset we didn’t have any scenes of anyone at Nonnatus finding out she was pregnant or hospitalized ??

“We may have to stop hoping and we were without hope for any kind of years” KNIFE IN MY HEART & TEARS IN MY EYES

I cry 90% of the time Laura Main is on screen

SHE’S SPECTACULAR BUT PLS @ WRITERS GIVE HER HAPPIER SCENES TO PLAY & PROTECT MY BBY AT ALL COSTS. I’m serious. ** Also again I’ll say it till I die Laura Main (& this show in general) does not get the recognition she deserves

I’m looking at you Golden Globes/SAG/ etc. Downton was nominated for everything, but it’s time to move on.

Don’t come at @ me though I love downton

Gloria is also breaking my heart too, she’s staying so positive though 😭💔

No one gives a shit about your doorbell dot (also is her hair a wig cause I kinda hate it)

“He said he wanted his own flesh and blood or nothing”  that makes me so sad & upset

Sister Julienne genuinely excited about a new midwife is adorable & she is an angel

Yes Trixie! SISTER MC IS NOT A PARCEL!? But a tracking number would be convenient at the moment. WHERE IS SHE ?!  

So is Tom going to tell Marnie he was adopted?

Why is everyone acting like Shelagh didn’t adopt Angela that a young mother that couldn’t keep her?

Glad I knew Trixie and Barbara already knew that Tom was adopted because I would’ve wondered why they didn’t say anything

Violet is so cute haha

Ew the gremlins are here

PHYLLIS HAS THEM TRAINED LIKE PUPPIES I LOVE IT

Can Angela speak? Serious question

YES TIM, IT’S ABOUT TIME YOU HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY. Like seriously there’s no way a 15yr old is always so agreeable with their parents

“Go to the pub” I’m dead

Tim snuck out to the hospital omg my heart

Aw Delia letting him in 😭thank u deels! but why did no one visit Shelagh wtf? not even sister Julienne??

Forceps oh no. OMG THIS LOOKS SO PAINFUL

and after watching this show for song long it doesn’t phase me? but I still don’t like to think about giving birth one day lmaoo

“He’s a man” lol but it was also about time Shelagh & Tim had a cute scene😭😭

PATRICK BOUGHT BEER FOR THEM AW

also makes me kinda nauseas to think about alcohol right now because I drank a little too much last night whoops

WOW PATRICK AND TIM, THIS WAS CUTE FATHER & SON TIME

Now is baby Turner going to be a boy of girl?? They have one of each & it could go either way

NO POOR GLORIA💔I can’t take it

ugh and Shelagh’s face again I cry

Sister Winifred actually getting some attention

holy shit this is all so sad I can’t

Tom is short for Thomas? Seems obvious but I never thought about it

En el nombre del Padre y del Hijo y del Espiritu Santo, Amen💔 & sister Winifred doing the cross😭 it always reminds me of my abuela because she always does that if you say something hypothetically tragic. Actually she just does it a lot.

“You can cry if you want to. There will be better days than this” I’m crying & I really like Sister Douglas

“So no Americans?” “and No men” 😂 PHYLLIS I LOVE YOU BUT GIVE US A CHANCE?

I’m sad that Phyllis would probably not like me

A lot of us suck but not me damn it.😭 I wish they’d write a story for an American even if it’s for like 2 mins as an extra, I’D PLAY IT FOR FREE. Yo could you imagine? I’d be shook

SISTER MJ’S REACTIONS TO ALL THE APPLICANTS KNOCKING ON THE DOOR ARE KILLING ME I LOVE HER. I NEED THAT IN GIF FORM

I also need to screenshot sister j with her hand to her head because that’s me 24/7

“Nursing treats young working class girls the way the world treats women. They’re all over them when there’s a war on. Afterwards, nobody wants to know.” PHYLLIS FucKING CRANE I LOVE YOU.

this Shelagh and Gloria scene is making me cry once again 😪😪

Why didn’t Tom tell Marnie he was adopted? I thought that was happening, maybe not

SISTER J IN A PUB AH

“Is this what is known as a lady’s glass?” THIS IS GREAT IM HERE FOR SISTER J IN THE PUB, SHE KNOWS WHAT’S UP TOO

Still conflicted on Valarie/Valerie (Idk?¿) because I liked her in episode 2 but um she seemed lowkey racist in the clip from the casebook so?

WAIT MARNIE’S KEEPING THE BABY?

ALSO DID THEY PAY HER RENT?

“I’ve got this idea in my head that next year, or that the year after, it’ll be a lovely bunny day and I’ll be down chrisp street market, pushing a pram and somewhere near the flower stall, I’ll look up and I’ll see you pushing a pram and we’ll smile, and we’ll pass the time of day” “that would be lovely wouldn’t it?” I AM NOT OKAY😭😭

GLORIA’S DREAM BETTER COME TRUE

I really didn’t think Marnie was keeping the baby though

Now I feel sad for Dot because she has to give him back

“I wanted a particular doctor and he has a very busy schedule” OMG IT’S PATRICK. I LOVE SISTER DOUGLAS

HE HEARS THE HEARTBEAT. NOW SHE DOES, HER FACE AHHH

I AM DROWNING IN MY OWN TEARS OVER HERE. SAVE ME. WHY AM I SO EMOTIONALLY ATTACHED?

Didn’t that one magazine say Tom was going to comfort Shelagh though? We were played Lmaoo

Sister J basically said she had the job already so what’s the big deal about the letter?

Aw the park, Let’s get it 1962👏🏼👏🏼

SHELAGH WAS DISCHARGED, I AM SO HAPPY. LOOK AT MY BBY SMILING 😭💕 PLS NO MORE SADNESS FOR THE TURNERS THIS SERIES

THIS CHARIOT RACE IS ALSO THE GREATEST THING

MY BBY TRIXIE IN HER LEOTARD OUTSIDE 💖

SISTER JULIENNE PUSHING DELIA & SISTER WINIFRED PUSHING SISTER MONICA JOAN. I LOVE IT SO MUCH

I’m so caught up in all this I missed whatever the hell Vanessa Redgrave said but I’m sure it was profound 😭😭

BONUS NEXT WEEK’S PREVIEW:

The real test will be if she gets on with everyone, wait where is she going to sleep? Sister MC’s room?? Delia’s??

Aw that’s Reggie I presume 😭

Vi and Fred getting a storyline though

“Together we’re going to save the borough’s teeth” why does it amuse me?😂

TRIXIE’S LOVE INTEREST IS A DENTIST? He better be worthy of my bby because I’m not dealing with any bullshit, she deserves the world. & No she doesn’t need a boyfriend at all but like I’m still here for it & more Trixie screen time is good to me

SISTER MJ CRYING? WHY??

Oh shit that’s why. Where tf is Sister Mary Cynthia? Northfield? Fuck I’m not going to be ready for next week

Like not at all. 99.9% chance I will be sobbing