#oh and also its probably a leading cause why ive just shut the fuck up about everything

[treasure-goblin]

SUPRISE so I made the realization as to why I've been so unproductive for so long in terms of art/photography/writing after the blog switch and so yeah ha that's nice

[burnedbyshoto]

spiral

— Honestly, what could go wrong when you’re lusting over your close friend and you’re locked in a box with only one way to get out? Well, not a lot, honestly.

⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆

pairing: kaibara sen x fem!reader

warnings: smut, 18+, gloryhole, dirty talk, praise, fingering, sexual tension, reader is a pervert, quirk use during sex (spinning cock lol)

word count: 2,695

a/n: this is the second gloryhole fic ive written, but its completely different from the last time because its like not a cult fic LMAO!!! anyways, I think yall basic shouto and bakugou stans could do well to stan this class 1-b man because when I tell you he is another deviation of the two of them personality wise.... I mean it! 

day 5 main kink: gloryhole

⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆

If you had known precisely what you had just gotten yourself into right now three hours ago, you would have laughed at yourself. Without a doubt, there was no questioning that the predicament you had concealed yourself in was one that would bring you great shame once this wall was gone, but for now, you would deal with it.

At the bitter age of twenty, having graduated from the hero department over in Shiketsu High, you had been almost shocked when you were reached out upon by the graduating class over at Yuuei, to come and join their agency. You had accepted it with caution, unsure if you could live a life paycheck to paycheck that was as new as they come. But, it was a decision you would come to never regret.

Or at least, not until right now. 

You had been on patrol with your coworker turned friend, Kaibara Sen, hero name: Spiral.

His quirk was an interesting one. A quirk that allowed him to gyrate -- spin -- every limb and ligament on his body. It caused some pretty asshole moves in close combat that not only stung with the piercing metal on his gloves but also sent you flying away. Countless amounts of times, you had pinned him only to spun around like a spinning top and slammed back into the practice mats.

You hated it.

Or well, you hated his quirk in a sensical way (note: do not attempt to beat him through a crowd, he always wins). In the nonsensical, coming of age brain of yours that had been for the most part silenced due to Shiketsu’s no-dating-policy, but as you grew fond of your coworker, frequent workout buddy and sparring partner, you couldn’t help but wonder just if… well… if he could spin his cock.

You would be lying if you said you had never imagined what it could feel like. You wondered if his cock was curved, or if it was straight. Would the veins be prominent? Too many times, when watching quirk-plot porn videos, you found your mind lingering onto his ability, which leads you to scream into a pillow, your hormones both skyrocketing and plummeting in your horror. 

You weren’t a perv, you like to remind yourself as you changed into your hero costume. It was merely a rational, human thought! Humans were curious beings, after all! Sure, Kaibara was attractive, and his voice was… so low, deep, and raspy that sometimes you would try to – NOPE NOT A PERV!

Blazing hot cheeks drummed in time with your hammering heart as you finished dressing, hoping to get out and clear your mind with helping out the community as a hero! You were a hero!

Not a perv!

Nodding to yourself in the mirror located in your designated locker, you slammed it close and left.

Unfortunately for you, or fortunately, Kaibara was already dressed in his costume and waved at you in greeting as you approached him.

“Afternoon.”

“Yeah, yeah, shut up!” you flustered, your back stiffening as you continued to stomp ahead, readying to leave the stupid agency and get your afternoon rounds done. 

You weren’t a pervert!

With three years since graduating from high school, three years of this agency having been founded, and three years of becoming friends with the esteemed and infamous class 1-A and 1-B from Yuuei, you had learned one thing for sure. This group of Yuuei students seemed to attract the worse kind of trouble like a moth to a lamp.

Without a doubt, you knew that was the reason why you had Kaibara somehow ended up in this horrible, ridiculous quirk from a child that just so happened to manifest their quirk out in the open. And of course, it would be the most humiliating shit to ever happen in the entire world of quirk apparitions.

“Uh, the mother said it’s probably the father’s quirk!” came the apologetic, nearing frantic voice of Deku from outside the steel box both you and Kaibara were trapped in. 

You couldn’t even see Kaibara’s face, and the perv in you screamed over the lack of even having his body pressed against yours! No! Nothing! As a matter of fact, there was a divider between you and Kaibara, a giant wall with a hole near your crotch area.

“I can’t believe you idiots got yourselves trapped in this!” came the amused, annoyed, and somehow antagonizing voice of Ground Zero. 

“Shut up!” you screamed back. “They looked at us, and it happened! It’s not like we touched the kid!”

“Y/h/n,” Kaibara’s voice sighed, and you felt your face ignite at the sighful tone on his raspy, deep voice. You pouted at the slight scold in his manner and felt yourself looking down in shame as he continued. “Don’t argue with Ground Zero. Hey, Deku, how we get out of this?”

The both of you were silent for some time, the outside world quiet as you waited for an answer.

“Oh, um, I don’t think you’re going to like it…” Deku’s voice laughed awkwardly from outside the box, and you frowned.

“Just tell us.”

“I-It’s uh… it’s a quirk called Gloryhole!” Deku squeaked, and just as you knew the successful and well-recognized pro hero outside of this box was undoubtedly red in the face, you felt your already warm face turn into an inferno. “I-I-It’s exactly… ohmygod!”

“The shitnerd is apparently a fucking perv and can’t finish his stupid sentence. Anyways, this quirk only works on shits like you with unresolved sexual tension and only removes after you use it,” Ground Zero’s voice barked from outside the walls.

“KACCHAN!”

“Shut up, Deku!” Ground Zero fired right back, and you could feel your body trembling at the news. Oh no, your perverted mind finally caught up to you in the worst of ways?! Although he did say unresolved sexual tension, that could totally be onesided, right? “We’ll be back in an hour, get it done, or fucking else.”

They left you, and you realized that despite your panicking pitched breathes, there was no noise coming from Kaibara’s side.

Oh no, this was all your fault! 

Oh no, oh no, oh no!

“You, uh,” Kaibara spoke softly, and you felt your hands clutch onto the fabric above your breasts. “You have unresolved sexual tension with me?”

“No,” you denied immediately, your forehead crashing against the barrier between you and Kaibara at the blatant, stupid lie. “Yes. Ugh, I do, but that wasn’t something I was planning on telling you!”

“Why not?”

“Because it’s embarrassing? What was I supposed to say when you pin me against mats during sparring sessions? ‘Hey, Kaibara, does your cock also spin? If so, can you fuck me with it?’”

You slap your hand across your mouth, eyes going wide in your panicked embarrassment. That mouth of yours was genuinely going to get your tongue cut off or lips sewn together one day.

It’s silent for a bit, but there’s a sound of clothes ruffling. The rate of your heartbeat seemed to increase exponentially as you saw something shift from the view you had of the Gloryhole. “Well, if you want to find out, I’ll be more than willing to give you a demonstration.”

The pervert you may or not be did not hesitate to respond back.

“Please?”

And you watched as his shadowed figure approached the hole, and a pink-headed cock pushed through the hole into your side. You watched with a gaping jaw at the still-growing cock before you. Without a doubt, it was more than seven inches and was glorious, gravity defyingly curved upwards. It was proud as it was thick, and you watched as the underneath of his cock scraped across the bottom.

A soft grunt strangled in his throat at the cold, rough sensation, and you watched a small, glistening bead of pre-cum appear from the slit on his head. You’re not sure how quickly you dropped to your knees, but you did know that your mouth took him on completely. Within the first drop of your mouth on his cock, you enveloped at least half of his cock in your mouth. A loud bang hit the wall, and you felt a warmth in your chest, knowing that you had already affected him.

Your lips and mouth glided against his length, your tongue pressing and lapping at the underneath of the head of his cock, trying to cock to become as hard as it could be, because it was still growing. A particular needy, near sloppy suck of yours, sent a loud, dizzying guttural noise from Kaibara’s side. A noise that sent liquid heat spilling into your cunt as your hand gripped the base of his cock, bobbing your head slowly, as leisurely as you would allow yourself.

His taste was indescribable, faint yet had you licking his length for more, trying to cover your tongue in his pre-cum. 

But the issue with a proud curving upwards cock, was that you found it awkward to choke yourself down his impossibly stubborn curve as he began to thrust his hips to meet your mouth and travel into your throat. Grunt, gasps, and growls seemed to be growing in volume and repetition on his side of the wall as you relaxed your throat, chokes, and gags sounding wet and sloppy on your side. 

“Fuck, just like that, wait up,” Kaibara moaned, a thud coming straight above your own head, letting you know that he had pressed his head against the wall. The thumping of his hips on the wall was slowly becoming musical, white noise as you bobbed your head further along his length, throat vibrating with your need to make him feel good. And the weirdest, most surprised splutter came from your throat as his cock spun in direction.

Once curved upwards, making it nearly impossible in the space to take his cock all the way down your throat, was now downcurved. It stretched your jaw out entirely as he didn’t bother to pull away to do it, and your throat stretched out in a way you had never experienced before as you coughed and staggered against his length. But, it was a pain that made your clit throb and allowed his cock to go even further down your throat.

You did what you could only do once your throat stopped hurting, and the sheer pleasure of having your throat stretched out in a more desirably wait set in: you moaned.

It was a long, pitchy noise that you swore you could feel against the steel wall that your free hand supported you against. Your toes curled at the way his intensely thrusting hips faltered for a moment, undoubtedly turned on by your noise if the twitch in his cock said anything about it. You moaned again, and again, and again. You continued to do so against his snapping hips until Kaibara was practically snarling your name with the intention and muttered promises of what he would do to you once the barrier was gone. 

Your mind was gone at the point, the promises of fucking you against the window of his apartment that overlooked the Tokyo skyline had you shoving the pants off your hero costume down. Your hand on his cock tightening in its grip, but the one manipulating your pants off, sunk into your cunt, thumb on your clit. 

A mewl left your lips as you began to play with your wet heat, and you drove your mouth and head closer to the hole, enthusiastically taking him in further and further. 

“Imma fuck you so good when we get fucking out of here,” Kaibara promised, teeth undoubtedly pulled into a snarl, his thrusting in bizarre speeds as you tried to keep some piece of sanity as you continued to finger fuck yourself, all too pleased with him absolutely using your mouth. But, you registered his words just well enough to respond back, choking an agreeing noise as you bobbed your head enthusiastically. “Had I known you just wanted that slutty pussy of yours to be fucked, I would’ve done this with you ages ago. Would’ve pinned you down on that mat, and claimed your cunt as my prize.” Your eyes rolling back in your hormone-induced euphoria, your own dirty fantasies having played that scene in your mind countless times. “I want to hear you choke on my cock more, I want to hear the saliva and drool leaving your mouth. I know you’re fucking your cunt, so do it well enough you’re moaning like a paid prostitute. I promise you, I’ll make sure you never want to see another cock again that isn’t mine!”

A choking, hiccuped, and wet breath expelled from your mouth, and you hadn’t even realized you were crying at the moment. But, you agreed, head bobbing in your agreement.

And so, it continued. 

You pushed forward, his length reaching new depths of your throat until you had your nose smashed against the metal, cold wall. Your throat manipulatively squeezing and milking his throbbing cock, tongue, and teeth rubbing against his protruding veins until Kaibara was stuttering out your broken first name. 

The wet noises of his saliva drenched cock meeting your drooling throat and mouth grew louder with every slap, and you wanted more. You needed more.

“Fuck, y/n, you take me s-so fucking good. I think you have me entirely in your mouth like the fucking little pervert you are,” Kaibara hotly laughed, a soft thudding from near your chin sending your mind in a feral daze of how it was probably his balls. “Doing so well with my directions, you really do deserve to be fucked properly after this.”

A low, lewd whine strangled from your throat, your hot, swollen lips sucking harshly against the base of his cock as he continues drilling, and the melodic moans from his mouth made it all worth the fact your lips and nose are starting to tingle from the sufficient lack of oxygen. But it’s also your curling, pumping fingers in your cunt that add onto the headrush you get, the slick and essence coating and dripping from your pounding fingers send you into a series of keen and mewls against his cock. And you can perfectly find each sweet little pleasure spot. 

You were close, and by the consistent twitching and throbbing of his cock and the thick coating of precum on your tongue, Kaibara was too.

With your impending orgasm, you felt your body begin to tense up, shaking, and moaning with the tipping sensation you loved. And Kaibara, entirely lost in his own passionate, horny endeavors, shook as he slammed into you again, again, and again.

With a fiery determination, your cheeks hollowed out on his length as he pulled out, a resonating “fuck!” screamed from his lips as your tongue swiped at the salty silt on his cock, and it was all over.

You came on your fingers with a loud, pitchy scream, and thick, hot ropes of cum spurted from his cock onto your awaiting mouth, dirtying your face slightly in his heavy ejaculation. Swallowing the cum, a shiver ran down your spine as you quickly cleaned the remaining cum on his cock. Slowly, you removed the fingers in your cunt, and you shuddered at the pulsating heat form your core as you dropped to the floor as his soft cock disappeared from the hole. 

Laughing softly, you looked up at the ceiling of the box that was slowly disappearing, allowing fresh air to enter the sex smelling box.

“So, how about dinner?” Kaibara asked, and you chuckled, running a hand through your abused face.

“I don’t think I’m hungry.”

“No?”

“You might’ve proved you can spiral your cock,” you began, turning your head to look at Kaibara, who was collapsed on the floor, barely put together as the two of you locked eyes. “But I still would like to try it out for real while you properly fuck me. After that, if I’m hungry for food, I’d love to go for dinner.”

He laughed, his hand running through his sweaty locks.

“Sounds like a deal to me.”

[nctzenluvies]

HIS PARTY

𝖏𝖊𝖔𝖓𝖌 𝖏𝖆𝖊𝖍𝖞𝖚𝖓 𝖝 𝖋. 𝖗𝖊𝖆𝖉𝖊𝖗

𝖜𝖔𝖗𝖉𝖘 : 1.7k

𝖒𝖆𝖐𝖎𝖓𝖌 𝖔𝖚𝖙 , 𝖈𝖚𝖗𝖘𝖎𝖓𝖌 , 𝖉𝖗𝖎𝖓𝖐𝖎𝖓𝖌 , 𝖜𝖊𝖊𝖉 , 𝖘𝖒𝖚𝖙 , 𝖉𝖊𝖌𝖗𝖆𝖉𝖎𝖓𝖌 , 𝖗𝖆𝖜 𝖘𝖊𝖝

~~~~~~~~~~

you were walking outside of the school and of course, it was a friday, meaning everyone was getting their invites to the popular kids "frat party". all you knew about the parties, is that they consisted of drinking, weed, and apparently drugs too. you genuinely didnt expect for anyone invite you.

"hey, y/n!" someone said behind you.

"hi?"

"remember? its me, cay!"

"oh yeah! hi! whats up?"

"well, i got permission to invite some people to this weekends party, and we had a few extra slots so, i thought to invite you!"

"oh? sure, i can go.. but when is it?"

"tomorrow night, i can text you the address, your number is still the same right?"

"yeah, it is. thanks so much!"

"of course, do you need a ride?"

"no thanks, ill have my friend drop me off."

cay walked away and went to the back of the school as you got into the bus and sat next to one of your friends, that happened to also be invited to tomorrows party.

after about 10 minutes, the bus had finally made it to you and your friends neighborhood. you got off the bus, said your goodbyes to your friend and walked home. once you got home, you went up to your room and unpacked your things.

"dude, i cant believe we both got invited to that tomorrow." your friend said on the phone.

"i know! should we make outfits?"

"uh.. yess?!"

the two of you made outfits and got opinions from one another. your friend had to hang up because their mom called them, so you just decided to make a list of stuff you needed to bring.

"gum... chapstick, tissues? do i need that?"

you threw what you could pack now into your bag, and got pajamas to go take a shower.

you took a quick shower, and went down to your kitchen to make food. you made something simple with what you had in your fridge. after eating, you watched netflix for an hour or two, then went to your room to sleep.

~~~~~

𝒷𝑒𝑒𝓅.. 𝒷𝑒𝑒𝓅.. 𝒷𝑒𝑒𝓅..

your alarm went off, it was 10 in the morning. you got up, and got ready in a comfy outfit for the day. you had planned to spend a few hours with your cousins at the mall, then go home and get ready for the party.

your cousin picked you up, you guys went do the mall, got coffees, ate food, and shopped around for 3 hours.

your friend was at a store nearby, so she went to come pick you up.

"hey! did you have fun?" she asked.

"yeah, i got a bunch of stuff haha."

"thats good! you could use something for tonight!"

"true, is that what youre wearing tonight?"

"no, i just went to the shop to get groceries, so of course not."

"thats what i thought."

you two blasted music on the way back to her house. you got there, helped he put the groceries away, and walked back to your house. you just chilled for about an hour before getting ready.

you hopped out of the shower, and called your friend.

"hey, y/n. whats up?" cay answered.

"nothing, i just wanted to ask if there was a specific timing we needed to be there?"

"nope, you just have to be there by nine."

"oh alright. see ya!"

you dried you hair, and got a cute dress your cousin had bought you at the mall. you were packing a bag and your best friend called you.

"hey y/bsf/n, why you callin me?"

"nothing, i just wanted to let you know im leaving soon. so get your bag ready."

"will do."

you finished packing, got a water bottle, went to the bathroom, and walked out to see y/bsf/n waiting in her car out-front of your house.

"hey bitch! get in, lets go!"

the two of you headed out, screaming about each others outfits.

you pulled into a huge driveway leading up to a mansion. of course, the popular kids cars were pulling in as you parked.

"oh hey y/n!" cay said behind you.

"hey!"

"well, welcome i guess? let me show you around."

he showed you around his friends house, as someone caught your eye.

you pointed towards some really cute guy in the corner, "hey cay, who is that?"

"oh him? thats jaehyun, hes one of my best friends."

"ok, thanks."

"no problem.

you and your friend walked away to get a drink from the bar they had.

"girllll you have good eyes." your friend teased.

"what do you mean?"

"that jaehyun dude was cute."

"i know right."

"you should go talk to him! your hot, hes hot, perfect relationship!"

"fine, i will. be right back."

"ok, ill be over here!"

you walked over to the boy you had been looking at for a bit and said hi.

"hey, thought i just let you know i think your hot." you winked, walking away.

he twirled you back around, "well, i would say those feelings are mutual then."

"oh? show me then."

"with pleasure."

he pulled you upstairs to a room somewhere in the back of the house, and locked the door behind him.

it was dark in the room, so you couldnt exactly see him, but when he turned the lights up, he was already completely naked. he had the best abs youd seen in a while. man did you get the worst butterflies. he got on top of you, and tore your clothes.

"your a little slut, arent you."

"maybe."

he snickered, kissing your jawline, going down to your stomach. he threw your legs to the side, kissing the inside of your thighs. he threw your legs on his shoulder, giving you kitten licks, teasing you. jaehyun let go of your legs to say something.

"i never got your name, sweetheart."

"y/n."

"y/n?"

"yup."

"cute."

he continued his teasing, but gave you zero warning that he was going to actually eat you out.

"jaehyun!"

"mhm?" he said, sending a wave of vibrations through your body, causing you to almost moan.

after a bit, he let go of your pussy, "moan loader baby." so of course, you did. the more noise you made, the more he smirked probably thinking you couldnt feel it. at some point he started using his tongue way more aggressively, so you grabbed his head pushing him deeper in your folds.

he suddenly let go, looking straight in your eyes.

"you cant cum yet. your turn."

he got to the side of the bed, pulled you closer to him, and shoved his dick straight in your mouth. beside gagging at first, you did your job perfectly by how he was reacting.

he pushed you down away from him, and got back on top of you.

"youre going to listen to daddy, right?"

you nodded.

"you will stay completely silent until i say so."

he lined his cock up with your core and slammed straight in you, filling you up. he immediately went in and out of you, leading to you making a bunch of noise. he put a hand around your neck to shut you up.

"you stay quiet, remember?"

you nodded, trying your best to stay quiet. there was a bunch of people coming up the stairs, probably looking for jaehyun.

"jaehyun?" one of his friends yelled from the end of the hallway.

what sounded like two people came up to the door, stopped and listened. you held your breath, but jaehyun on the other hand just continued.

"oh shit, hes blowing someones back out."

"yeah, already? the party just started. i wonder who it is." your friend cay said.

"dude. lets go ask around and see who were missing."

"yeah."

𝑜𝒽 𝓈𝒽𝒾𝓉 , you thought to yourself. jay was going to figure out that your were being gut-fucked by his best friend, let alone, one of the most popular people in the building.

luckily as soon as your best friend heard people we're asking around, she texted you saying she'd be at the back of the house so she wouldn't get found out.

"oh shit!" you screamed.

the two of you reached your highs about the same time. all you felt was this warm liquid filling you up like crazy. he pulled out, picked you up and brought you to the bathroom. luckily he had brought you to bedroom that had a bathroom.

he cleaned you up first, cleaned himself up, and got you both dressed. jaehyun dragged you out of the bedroom, telling you to go to the back of the house after seeing your phone text message.

you ran down stairs, out the front door and saw your friend right on the side of the house.

"hey!" she yelled

"hi."

"so, how was it?"

"good, hes so hot oh my god."

"well, look who it is."

"hello, im jaehyun, y/n's new boyfriend."

you looked at him, confused.

"wait, wait, we never agreed to that." you sighed.

"we did now."

"ok, ill leave you guys alone, good bye." your friend ran back into the house.

"jaehyun, really?"

"what."

"ive known you for like fifteen minutes."

"a good fifteen minutes." he winked.

"jaehyun!"

you turned around to see cay yelling for jaehyun.

"hi?"

"im going to go over there." you whispered, pointing to the fence of the property.

"well, who was it?"

"who was what?"

"ya know, the chick you had in the room." cay said.

"oh, that? her." he pointed to you, causing you to look up.

"fucking seriously? ive been friends with her for a while and she never has hooked up with someone like you man."

"well i guess you can say hook up if you want."

"huh?"

jaehyun signaled you to come back over.

he wrapped his hand around your waist, "this is my girlfriend."

"uh, what? im so confused. havent you known each other for like 30 minutes?"

"yeah, but shes hot."

"alright, ive never seen that happen."

cay walked away, leaving the two of you to walk in together. you and jaehyun just drank all night, and went back to your house, eating and watching movies.

𝔞/𝔫: 𝔦 𝔨𝔫𝔬𝔴 𝔱𝔥𝔦𝔰 𝔰𝔲𝔠𝔨𝔰 𝔞𝔰𝔰 𝔦𝔪 𝔟𝔬𝔯𝔢𝔡 𝔰𝔬 𝔦 𝔴𝔯𝔬𝔱𝔢 𝔱𝔥𝔦𝔰 :)

[daaziscoolbesties]

[REPOST] MY 2K WORD COMMENTARY/ANALYSIS OF RANBOO’S LORE STREAM

‼️‼️This post contains lore spoilers from Ranboo’s 4/23 stream, “The Enderwalk Saga. Chapter 1: The Lessons”. If you haven’t seen that stream don’t read ahead unless you want spoilers‼️‼️

disclaimer: this isnt really an analysis as much as a bunch of commentary and half-baked theories.

-on the way to the mansion he was sort of talking to himself saying stuff like "i'm good i'm good" which m a y be a normal thing but also maybe it's not and it flew over our heads cause he talks to chats and donos like that so often

-again, this one may just be a normal thing but when he was climbing up the stairs in the mansion looking for foolish, he repeats some of his words like down to the exact same tone of voice and everything. 12:42,  "this mansion is way too big actually. this mansion is way too big actually." (why the repeated actually? seems odd to me but again it might just be a normal thing that i haven't picked up on). (right after) "okay okay lemme find him lemme find him" again repeated words in the e x a c t same tone.

-does everyone know about ranboo's silk touch hands ability thing? or was that just a techno and ranboo main character moment. bc if it was, how would foolish know that ranboo could pick up the full cake after it'd been partially eaten. unless everyone on the sever knows about that in which case this means nothing. but if they d o n t know... how would foolish know? ranboo wrote about it in the do not read book so maybe if it's not a publicly known thing maybe foolish got his hands on the book and read it??

-14:53-ish, they're talking about the war room and how it was for tubbo or whatever and ranboo says, and i quote "he prepares for lore but he's never gonna do it." now funny thing is at first i couldn't tell if he said "war" like in reference to the war room or "lore". but after playing the clip over and over i can say with ALMOST 100% certainty that he said lore. there is a definite L sound at the beginning of the word. which either means a) this was a slip up (doubtful bc he said later that there were no mistakes), b) he broke the fourth wall because they were supposed to be rping at that point, or c) i'm completely wrong and he said "war" which leads down an entire other road of possibilities

-15:17 "are you a book reader?" "*checks inventory for do not read book* uh yeah i'd say i'm a book reader-" dunno how i didn't catch this the first time I HATE THAT DAMN BOOK

-15:18 there's blue in his hotbar. where did he get the blue.

-16:40 "it's like a metaphor- i have two minds: i have my normal self, my normal little shift-dancing self, and then the builder one. the builder one is demanding. it's a very demanding mind." ranboo then lets out a weird sigh after this. i feel like what foolish was talking about was an indirect(?) parallel to ranboo in and out of enderwalk, there's how he normally is, trying to do best for others, and then there's enderwalk, meeting up with bad guys and "demanding" things (its very late as i write this i really don't know what i'm talking about)

-17:11 "you have your panic closet" i'm sorry his what now 😀 no but seriously how the hell did i miss some of these

-18:04 "you're asking me if i remember?" very funny ranboo thank you for making jokes in these trying times

-18:25 WHY DID HE GET OUT THE AXE WHEN STARING AT THE BEE

-19:38 why did foolish hold the grass block- most of these observations probably mean nothing but- h u h - is that- i'm too tired for this

-19:54 "i never properly thanked you for the deal you made with me" so foolish got something out of this deal, we're not sure if ranboo did. "the green cardboard box" again do you mean dream's house- but seriously the only people i can think of on the server that are associated with green are dream and sam. and i have no idea what cardboard box could be referring to.  foolish got a lime colored shulker from drista

-20:30 "we're supposed to only talk about it at a certain location" hmm now where would that be? panic room maybe? cause like usually after doing a big thing in the enderwalk state ranboo wakes up in the panic room so maybe?  the deal was that they only talk about it in his house

-21:52 how does ranboo receive(?) the lessons? like are they whispered to him in his mind or is he seeing them as words in front of him like we see? hmm

-"Lesson 14: If you have the opportunity to gain a favor, take it." "gain a favor" don't you usually ask people for favors though? how does one "gain a favor"? anyways i'm pretty sure lesson 14 has to do with the deal foolish was talking about. (the deal explained because i now have info: at some point a bit ago foolish met up with ranboo and asked to make a deal, he'd gotten a shulker box from drista. the deal was that ranboo would have ownership of the box, it would be under his name but foolish rents/borrows it indefinitely. ranboo negotiated that if he took ownership of the box he would get a "war favor"  from foolish where if something happens that creates sides, ranboo can ask him a favor that could change his side. but why would foolish want ranboo to have ownership of the shulker you may ask? well i have an answer for you. a theory actually but still. basically since drista technically isn't supposed to give out shit on the server if someone where to have that stuff then they may get in trouble. foolish wants to be able to use the shulker but if it gets found he doesn't want to get in trouble, so he can blame it on ranboo seeing as it's under his name.)

-22:16-ish "i still have this from when you *can't understand whats said here*" well i guess that sort of explains why he had the grass block? idk man (info update: he had the grass block from when ranboo threw it at him telling him to calm down like what ghostbur does with blue)

-31:35 "i figured out how to cause it" how to cause the enderwalk state

-38:30 "ninety three lessons" I STILL DONT KNOW WHY HE KEPT SAYING NINETY THREE AND NOT NINETY FOUR AND ITS DRIVING ME CRAZY LMAO

-39:01 "it's all for the greater good" okay well when are you gonna start thinking about yourself and not everyone else for once huh. self care bitch.

-40:31 he started holding the axe when he was looking at sam- gonna say it i really don't like that axe ahahah- WAIT A DAMN MINUTE THE AXE IS NAMED "axe of ender" I DONT LIKE THAT I DONT LIKE THAT AT ALL

-41:53 is there something?? physically keeping him from telling sam??? or maybe it's sort of like his enderwalk state taking control to make him shut the fuck up??? so many questions and approximately zero answers

-43:18 ranboo raising his voice legitimately scares me 😀👍

-"Lesson 27: Do not reminisce on what you have lost for it will weigh you down." showed up when he was thinking about and REMINISCING about the community house 👀👀

-"Lesson 53: Never fully trust anyone." showed up literally after he said that he thinks he can trust the other people on the server enough to tell them about what he did

-"Lesson 67: Leave no evidence of what you have helped with." this is different from the others because there doesn't seem to be at least a semi-direct connection to it? unless maybe at the time ranboo was near something he may have "helped with"? not sure about this one

-"Lesson 94: DO NOT LET THEM KNOW WHAT YOU HAVE DONE" yeah yeah i get it i get it he's fucked up some shit in enderwalk i don't feel like analyzing this thanks

-OH OH NOTICE HOW HE SAYS "REMEMBERING" WHEN THE LESSONS SHOW UP. IMPLYING THAT THIS ISNT A NEW THING, ITS HAPPENED BEFORE AND NOW HES REMEMBERING IT. MAYBE HE WROTE DOWN THE LESSONS WHEN HE WAS IN ENDERWALK AND NOW THAT HES BEEN EXPERIMENTING ITS BEEN EASIER FOR HIM TO REMEMBER THOSE ENDERWALK MEMORIES

-okokok the experiments are that he's been e x p e r i m e n t i n g on how to purposefully induce the enderwalk state. and we know now that it wasn't from the pain of the water because on the stream afterwords he said that it's caused by the intense fear of something happening. and so the "side effects" of the experiments is that since he's in enderwalk more often(?) he starts remembering more things from it

-OH MY GOD WAIT "there is a reason sam, there's so many reasons, theres ninety three of them" (44:47) WHAT IF EVERY LESSON IS TIED TO A QUOTE UNQUOTE "reason" THAT RANBOO THINKS HES A BAD PERSON/NEEDS TO BE LOCKED UP BUT HE SAYS NINETY THREE INSTEAD OF NINETY FOUR BECAUSE THE NINETY FOURTH LESSON DOESNT HAVE A REASON YET/HE DOESNT REMEMBER IT HAVING A REASON

-dude honestly the whole sam part hurts so much this man is scarily good at acting

-46:46 "i cant put you in the prison you wouldn't be able to see michael anymore" bestie that's the point he doesn't want to accidentally hurt michael or tubbo in the enderwalk state—

-okay but there's no way that sam couldn't tell that ranboo was at least TRYING to confess to something- i feel like he definitely knows more than he's letting on because usually like when people do bad shit or admit to doing bad shit he's like in Prison Guard Mode™️ (he literally cut off ponk's arm because he stole some keycards or something) and whatever and idk what he knows but he definitely knows something and is trying to protect ranboo. or he's trying to manipulate him or smth either one works—

-50:38 "you are a good person" "i am?" you can hear my heart shatter. "yes you are" "i don't think so sam" "i do, even if you don't" "i really don't think so" and there it goes again

-51:25 hello badboyhalo i see you to the left of ranboo

-52:44 "but then my curiosity got the best of me" curiosity killed the cat, bitch

-52:54 "there's ninety three, ninety four, ninety- theres so many reasons!" SEE!! NOT ONLY ARE THERE THAT MANY LESSONS THERE ARE REASONS THAT CORRESPOND IM S O SMART—

-52:56 "i don't want to remember anymore!" *quietly brings forth my theory that when ranboo loses a canon life his memory gets wiped*

-53:13 "ive opened pandora's box" isn't the prison?? literally called pandora's VAULT??? so this m a y be a stretch but i'm thinking that maybe this could be taken in the literal sense that he "opened" the prison and let dream out (the sirens at the end of quackity's stream confirm that dream is indeed out)

-53:42 mans just straight up walked through a ghost i—

-55:37 so are we just gonna ignore the eleventh page of the book? "he's alive, but hopefully soon dream won't be"??? alright nevermind it's most likely bc when tommy came back he recruited ranboo in his plan to kill dream

-55:47 notice how he writes "what am i?" as opposed to "who am i?" no elaboration here idk what it could be

-56:08 just so it's clear for anyone who doesn't know- he's wearing armor at this point, and i'm like 90% sure that when he wears his armor water can't hurt him. and i saw someone say somewhere that like with splash potions when thrown it turns into a gas-like thing? so again, it didn't hurt him, he didn't get hurt. he said in the chill stream that he wasn't comfortable making it where his character had to hurt himself to do that. the thing that causes the enderwalk isn't pain, it's intense and sudden emotions like fear and stress. thank you for coming to my tedtalk.

[cheswirls]

it’s your extension (let me extend) 1/6

[ small preface: this is one giant 30k oneshot. its meant to be read as a oneshot, especially with the formatting. ive divided it up for sa week bc i think it fits all the themes collectively, but on day 7, ill post it all together as a oneshot. probably definitely on another platform, ill link it here, though. each piece is around 5k words, and i cant promise each one will fit the day’s themes exactly. collectively, all the themes are in here somewhere. it’s not gonna align perfectly. 

with that all out of the way, i hope you enjoy! ive been working on this for a little over a month, now. if you recognize the au it is, you won’t notice many changes, but i like how it came out anyway. if you don’t recognize it, get ready for a ride.

also thanks to @saboace-week​ for hosting ! ]

he reminds ace of his mother.

light, blond hair hanging just past his nape; piercing eyes that hold an array of emotions, none of them harsh; fair, fair skin, and if he squints he can envision a smattering of freckles dusted onto his cheeks, not unlike his own. he cards a hand through the hair; his eyes narrow. 

he can see her.

the scar catches him off-guard. it’s not noticeable until he parts the hair a little, but then there it is, stark as day, red ragged lines breaking up the pale skin. it’s not until he takes off the old sweatshirt functioning as a pajama top that he realizes the extent of the damage.

the red ran all down his left side. cutting into his shoulder, up his neck; circling around his ribs, and he turns to see it nearly to his spine on his back; down to his thighs, to his knees, just barely on the border of red on his calves; his arm is littered with white scars and red burn marks, and he finds himself growing curious. whatever it was from, it was Big. 

it was intentional.

ace blinks and the movement echoes in the mirror, blue eyes gazing back at him. and he blanches, finally waking, finally realizing no, this was not normal, this was actually happening he brings both pale hands up to his face, tries to hide his eyes. his breath stutters.

a shrill alarm sounds and he jumps, spinning around to find a discarded phone on the bed going off. he moves over to it and it reads koala on the id and he panics and taps ‘ignore’ and lets his heart calm down.

the alarm goes off again and he jumps again and picks up the phone, almost ready to turn it off, when he finds its an actual alarm going off. ‘you’re late at this point’, it reads. ‘good luck’, it reads. 

ace turns it off and takes a seat on the bed, head falling into his hands. stringy blond locks fall around him. 

what the fuck. this isn’t what he wished for. he wanted-

and he sits up, sudden, limbs jerking in protest. he climbs the rest of the way onto the bed, towards the small window in the corner, and pulls a blind open, peering out.

a view of goa greets him. traffic, towers, teems of people absolutely everywhere.

ace slowly closes the blind, turns around, and sinks back onto the bed. he takes a deep breath, in and out. 

“THIS ISN’T WHAT I MEANT!” he shouts from the top of his lungs. when he said he wanted to live in the city, to be in the city-

when he wished he were reincarnated as-

“am i dead?” he breathes. only the quiet answers him back.

-

sabo rolls over in his sleep, prying his eyes open. he breathes out in a huff, squinting as he realizes he can see through the slats of the door. what, did he fall asleep at his desk again? and then fall out of the chair? that seemed a bit impossible, so then why . .

he tips his head, and his cheek brushes fabric, and he hums, realizing there was something under him under the floor. 

before he can process that, the door slams open. sabo’s eyes widen as he’s met with little feet, and then he looks up, meeting the gaze of a scrawny kid.

“ace, get up already!” the kid snaps. “we already ate all of the food! if you’re not ready in ten minutes, i’m leaving you.”

he slams the door back into place, and sabo lies there, eyes blown and mind wide awake.

he’s so taken in by the kid’s words that for a second he finds himself scrambling up, counting down the seconds, remembering the time limit.

then he turns around and realizes he was asleep on a futon and he was in a wooden room and he trips on his way to look out the window before grasping the sill, raising his head above it, and his jaw drops as he’s met with a sprawling lake view, and of a whole community painted into the sides of a mountain. no, not a mountain, his mind helpfully supplies. the sides of a crater.

he blinks and his gaze zooms until he’s gazing at his own reflection, except it’s not him in the window. it’s a boy with tanned skin and long, black hair that fell just to his shoulders. they were broad, and he frowns, looking down as he runs a hand down the washboard chest, bare. damn. his eyes catch on a red band looped around his wrist, tied in a sloppy knot. he tugs and it comes loose, unraveling easily, and he hums as he spies a few other colors near the end.

“ace! let’s go!” a voice calls from somewhere deeper in the house, and sabo scrambles to his feet again, dropping the band on the ground. he swivels his head until he spots a uniform hanging from a closet door. it’s nondescript, so he hopes there’s only one school in this small town, else he go to the wrong one.

. . on second thought, with the kid leading him, maybe not.

he patters over to it, pausing once he grabs the hangers to look at his reflection in an actual mirror. oh. okay. so this was actually happening. he was in the body of someone named-

he stops. blinks. no. this had to be a dream, right?

he throws the white shirt over his head, tugging the collar down, and hums to himself in affirment as he works on the pants. right. this was a dream. had to be. 

he’s slipping on the jacket when the kid barges in again, comes over, grabs him by the back of the jacket, and begins to shove him out of the room. “now! come on! we gotta go!”

“o-okay,” he voices, marveling at the change in pitch to what he was used to. deeper, slightly. he spies the red band again and lunges for it, tumbling out of the kid’s hold for a moment. “wait,” he breathes, grasping it, and then the kid’s on him again, pushing him towards the door.

“ace!” he whines. “come on!”

“luffy!” a voice calls from somewhere below. they exit the room and sabo spies a figure near the bottom of a staircase. “you’re going to be late!”

“coming!” luffy yells, still pushing him as sabo struggles to get his bearings, still grasping at the change in scenery. he clutches the red band tightly.

-

ace stumbles from the room, marveling at the change in height. the guy had a few on him, that was for sure. he moves down the hall, passing the simple furnishings until he’s in the frame of the kitchen entry, nose twitching at the smell of stale food.

a woman looks up from her phone at the small table for two, eyeing him for a moment before humming and looking back down. after another moment, she removes herself from the chair, shuffling around some dishes. “what was that shouting about earlier?” she asks, gesturing for ace to take her seat. he does, sliding down and picking up the extra pair of chopsticks.

“uh, nothin’,” ace mutters, mouth already full of leftover food.

“right.” the woman rolls her eyes, but she’s smiling a moment later. “well, i’m out. there should be another train leaving in half an hour. you have until then to get ready.”

“‘kay,” ace mumbles, nodding as she waves and exits the room. a moment later, a door shuts from the end of the hall. ace finishes the food soon after and sighs, setting the chopsticks down. 

school, then. 

he wanders back into the bedroom and approaches the uniform hanging from the back of a chair. the first issue was getting there, which . .

he glances at the phone. koala would know, right?

but, as soon as he thinks it, he lets the thought go. 

he opts to take a picture of the crest stitched to the blazer instead, doing a reverse image search to determine which goa school it belonged to. a result pops up pretty handily, and he hums, putting it into a map. oh. so, it was pretty far. he glances to the window again.

after a moment, he searches the map for the nearest train station. not close either.

  . . . his gaze moves back to the window.

ace sighs, slumping where he stood. there was no way he was catching that next train. he’d be lucky if he made it there by noon.

why was city life so hard?

after he’s gotten dressed and grabbed a bag, he stuffs whatever he can think of down into it. phone charger. notebook. wallet. pencil. sketchbook? he blinks, eyeing it for a moment, then shoves it in as well. no harm, right?

he moves back across the apartment and pauses at the mouth of the kitchen, gaze fixed on the small dishes still set out on the table. sighing, he slides the backpack off his shoulder and steps forward. right. there was no gramps to clean them up, so he’d have to do it himself then.

he pauses again after locking the front door, keys halfway shoved into his pocket. he didn’t even know this guy’s name. well, it probably wouldn’t be long until he did, but hopefully it wouldn’t cause any problems.

catching the train is a rush. ace sits in a seat very close to the door, sighing as everything begins to move. while he waits, he takes out the phone again and looks through it, trying to find anything to help him out. he ends up tapping on a social media app, and when the screen loads, hums.

“sabo, huh?” he mutters under his breath. okay. he could work with that.

-

sabo doesn’t have to worry about luffy guiding him, because they run into some people he apparently should know.

“ace!”

the word is a single, concise syllable, spoken loud and with momentum, and, more importantly, from right behind him. sabo jumps, just about crawls out of his skin, and spins around to see a girl just about his height looking at him funny, lips pursed, and a hand poised to chop his head. he steps back more, glancing over at luffy, who huffs out a sigh.

“i’ll meet you at home,” he says, motioning to a fork in the path ahead. one slopes down, curving a little around the cliffside, and the other continues upward, towards the crest. “whatever’s going on, i hope you’re over it by then.” with another odd glance, luffy tightens his hold on his backpack straps and takes off down the path. sabo is left alone, and turns to watch as a boy approaches the girl, and therefore him, as well, pushing a bike at his side.

“nothing’s going on?” he mutters, even though that’s an obvious lie. whatever he’s doing, he’s doing it wrong.

“are you sure?” the girl says, crossing her arms. “because it looks like you couldn’t even be bothered to brush your hair this morning.”

sabo blinks, reaching up to tug on one of the black strands. he thought it’d been naturally unruly. guess not.

“whatever. let’s go already.” she turns and nods to the other boy, then grabs sabo by the arm and pulls him into a walk alongside them. her eyes turn down and she makes a little noise in the back of her throat. “you brought your ribbon and you’re not even using it?”

sabo glances down as well, spying his impulse grab hanging from his hand. he lifts it. “ribbon?” it didn’t look like it.

the girl shrugs, waving a hand. “might as well be. look, if you didn’t have time to do your hair, you can just say so. but we’re not even there yet. i have a mirror if you need it.”

she fumbles for her bag, searching through it, and then frowns. “nevermind. hey, kidd, you got one?”

“always,” he boasts, passing over a small pocket mirror with ease. sabo takes it, frowning. he looks down and attempts to pat the hair down, and then glances again to the band in his other hand. so, if it functioned like a ribbon . .

well. that made sense.

he hands the mirror back and holds the band in his teeth, using his hands to situate the long black hair. then he grabs the red with one hand and strings it around, until it held the hair in a loose knot. he glances over at the other two after finishing, waiting for approval. the girl shrugs after a moment. 

“good enough, i guess.”

sabo sighs out in relief, and then they’re in front of the school and kidd’s parking his bike and something chimes in the far distance. they grab for each of his arms and pull him through the front doors, moving quickly to a classroom. it’s not until they’re inside that he realizes another dilemma. people were still moving in, and there were open seats.

he reaches back to grab the girl’s arm, a small look of panic fixed on his face despite his best efforts. “where do i sit . . ?”

her eyes widen, and she stares at him. and stares. stares.

then, very calmly, she blinks and points to a desk near a window, almost in the corner of the room. sabo just nods, head down, and moves toward it.

-

ace moves down the hall slowly, still paging through a twitter feed on the phone. there were background shots of a classroom, and it had a high window, which meant the second floor. if only there was a glimpse of a number, then he’d really be set-

“sabo!” a shout echoes down the hall, making ace throw his head up. a redhead marches toward him, looking pissed, and he blanches, turning the phone off and trying to straighten out.

“uh, whatever i did, i can explain,” he says, because ace has always been about resolving conflict. then he mentally slaps himself, because that was the worst possible thing he could’ve said. he didn’t know the first thing about sabo, much less what he did to piss off the girl so much.

“you better!” she huffs, stabbing a finger into his chest. ace takes it with a wince. “ignoring my call like that! how dare you.”

so it was his fault, then. “i thought it was my alarm,” he says quickly. “it went off right after your call. sorry.” okay, so maybe not exactly true, but it would work. he eyes the girl in a new light. so this was koala.

she crosses her arms over her chest. “which one? had to be the ‘you’re late anyway, so hurry up’ one, right? how can you be here at noon?” she sighs. “it’s lunch, for god’s sake!”

“sorry,” ace says again.

her lips purse. “fine. i won’t press. c’mon, it’s stuffy in here, let’s eat outside.”

eat. his expression changes as he realizes. koala glances at him and rolls her eyes.

“you forgot lunch, didn’t you?”

he did, and he’s kinda hungry. he claps his hands together. “please share?”

“you’re lucky i like you,” koala mutters, jerking a door open.

koala insists he come to a cafe with her after school, and ace’s mouth waters at the thought. the closest they had out in fuusha was an old vending machine on top of the crest. inside, it’s crowded with people, but koala squeezes them into a two-seater and props up a menu, then begins rambling about the day. ace tunes her out, eyes widening as he glances at all the pictures. he wanted to try them all.

“that’s a lot of money,” koala comments, and he realizes he’d spoken aloud. ace looks up, then digs in his bag, looking into his wallet. he lets out a sigh.

“yeah, guess you’re right.” he hums, flipping the page and spotting a piece of cheesecake dripping with strawberry sauce. his mouth waters again. “then, i’ll just take this one.”

halfway through their meal, ace’s phone pings. he picks it up carelessly, smiling, too busy enjoying his cake. the text makes him reconsider.

koala pauses in her movements upon noticing his expression. “what’s wrong?”

“i’m late for work,” ace tells her.  apparently.

“oh, you had a shift?” she waves him off. “go, then. i don’t mind.”

“yea, thanks.” he stands, pocketing his phone, and stuffs the last of the cake into his mouth in a big bite. koala doesn’t comment.

he walks off a few paces, spins around on his heel, and comes back to tap koala on the shoulder. “uh, where do i work again?”

her brows raise to her hairline.

-

sabo wakes slowly.

he’s balanced on the edge of the bed, curled up like he doesn’t know there’s supposed to be a drop. it’s jarring, and as soon as his phone begins to vibrate, his body jerks and he’s on the floor, crashed in a heap with the comforter curled around his legs.

with a moderate groan, he reaches up and silences his phone.

the door opens a moment later, as he’s rubbing his head. red hair is his only giveaway before shanks is fully in the room, peering down at him. “whoa there, kid. took a tumble, huh?”

“i’m good,” sabo mumbles, sitting up. he blinks, screwing his eyes to cast the sleep away. “had the strangest dream.”

“let’s talk about it over breakfast, kay?” he jerks a thumb over his head. “makino has it ready.”

makino is already gone, too, apparently, because it’s just him and shanks at the table. it only sits two anyway, so it’s not often all three of them eat together. still.

sabo squints, picking up his chopsticks and trying to recall. “i was some kid living out in a mountain village for a day. had an annoying little brother and everything.”

shanks hums, swallowing his bite of food. “sounds boring.”

sabo snorts. “great, thanks for your input.” he pauses again. “it just . . felt so real.”

later, sabo will go back to his room and pick apart his backpack, confusion on his face for every random item he pulls out. he pauses at one point, hand wrapped loosely around the spine of his sketchbook. definitely didn’t remember taking that out of his room. what did he even draw, he thinks, flipping through to the last filled page-

he stops. his hand trembles. the forgotten page flips over, and the front half of the book hangs limp in the air. he stares at the page.

‘who are you?’ is written there, in big, blocky letters, scratched over and over by a worn pen.

-

“are you gonna play with your hair again?” luffy asks, entirely unimpressed, as he pulls open the door to ace’s room, looking to his elder brother warily. ace blinks the remaining sleep from his eyes, sits up fully.

“what?”

luffy huffs. “nevermind.” he begins to slide the door shut. “at least you’re up today.”

ace frowns at the comment, then immediately turns to look out the window. the sun was barely peeking out over the edge of the crest, as usual when he woke. he sighs and stumbles to his feet, electing to ignore luffy’s comment. 

breakfast with garp is a quiet affair. he eyes ace warily, but doesn’t say anything out of the ordinary, more of the usual. ace has to pull luffy away from the table, again, per usual. he sighs as he closes the front door, wrapping his scarf tighter around his neck. luffy grumbles at his side, wiping rice from the corner of his mouth.

he takes luffy halfway to school, then watches as he runs down the path with zoro and nami, sprinting in a race to see who can reach the grounds first. ace continues up the slope by himself, and doesn’t stop until he’s sliding his classroom door open, tugging his scarf a little looser in the heated environment. 

he’s sitting his bag down on his desk when the door slams open, and he turns calmly while a few others jump, entirely expecting this kind of entrance. lami pinpoints him immediately and stalks up to him, kidd not far behind. ace stands at attention, turning to face her-

and makes a noise of protest as she grabs his cheeks, pulling his face closer to hers for easier inspection. 

it’s a few tense moments of silence before he frowns, features distorted. “can i help you?” he says, words muffled by the pull of his lips. lami’s frown mirrors his own, and she releases him.

“are you back to normal?” she says, hands on her hips. ace only turns to look at kidd behind her, silently asking for help. the edhead steps up with a muffled snort.

“you were . . weird, yesterday,” he admits. “your hair was a mess, you were all spaced out, you couldn’t remember where you sat-”

“you got all of crocus’ questions right!” lami snaps. “his insanely hard, out-of-thin-air pop questions! you got them all right. answered like it wasn’t even a challenge. like you knew the ins and outs of the material already.” she crosses her arms. “you better not upstage us all again today.”

ace blanches. “what? you’re lying. that’s impossible.” and his hair . . ? he reaches up, fingering the braided cord that held the black locks in a high ponytail. 

lami shakes her head. “no, i’m serious. you were weird yesterday.” she echoes kidd’s words and the redhead nods, confirming. 

“well, whatever,” he grumbles, turning away, a bit put-out. “i’m fine now. okay? let’s just forget about it.”

the door opens, and in ambles crocus, old hips still in desperate need of replacement. he takes a stand behind the podium and pauses as he finds ace. “hm. portgas.”

ace lifts his chin, eyes narrowing. after a few tense moments, their teacher turns away, looking back down to his papers. everyone finds their seats after that. 

-

‘who are you?’ echoes over and over in sabo’s mind, as much as he can allow it. school is vicious today, the teachers going hard and not leaving anyone a moment’s rest. it’s not until everything is done for the day that sabo can break away, and that’s when koala approaches him, a wary look marring her gaze.

“what’s up with being late yesterday?” her eyes narrow as she comes to a full stop right in front of him. “y’know, if you were gonna show up halfway through the day, why’d you even come at all?”

“late?” sabo blinks. as he could recall, he was here a half hour early, like today, like always. 

“yeah.” she huffs. “you were late to work, too. listen, are you feeling better, at least?”

sabo’s hairs begin to stand. “yesterday,” he says, very slowly, “i didn’t have a shift.” 

“what?” koala’s eyes begin to ignite. “then you just ditched me? what the hell, sabo!”

“what are you on?” sabo snaps back, trying to make sense of it all. “we were together all afternoon. we split crepes! remember?”

koala’s mouth opens, but she remains silent. her brows scrunch, and the fire dies out. “that was monday,” she recalls. 

sabo shrugs, still off-put. “yeah?”

“sabo, it’s wednesday.”

he blinks. blinks again. “no-” he begins, but before he can finish, koala’s whipped her phone out and is showing him the date.

he stands very still. a shiver runs through his body.

“why . . can’t i remember?” 

-

lami and kidd wrangle him away for the afternoon, walking while the bite of the cold wasn’t too bad. unluckily for him, the path they take leads into a head-on collision with one of dragons’ rallies. ace can hear his speech before he sees the crowd, and then he’s hissing to himself in panic, ducking down behind kidd’s lanky form. the redhead scoffs, but doesn’t move.

“i guess it is election time,” lami notes, gaze wandering over. 

“wonder why he bothers,” kidd says. “he’s bound to get reelected anyway.”

ace frowns, eyes still facing the ground. he doesn’t want to hear dragon, or see him, but most importantly, he doesn’t want dragon to see him.

a pause in the speech reaches his ears. lami moves closer to the pair. “hey, heads up-” she begins to mutter.

“ace!” dragon calls, and he closes his eyes, jerking to a stop. slowly, his eyes move until he meets his father’s over the heads of the crowd. he doesn’t look very pleased. “straighten out already!” he calls.

ace forces out an exhale and moves out from behind kidd, standing taller. he turns his gaze back to the road and starts moving, quicker this time. he feels dragon’s eyes on him all the while, but what’s more, the eyes of the crowd as they turn to face him, as they turn to witness the town mayor mocking his eldest yet again-

“don’t let him bother you,” lami says, once they’re out of earshot. she turns to kidd, giving him a pointed look. “hey, let’s go to your mom’s shop?”

“diner,” kidd corrects. he frowns, knowing more than anything that it wasn’t a question. but, well, it was still too early for dad to be home. “sure,’ he sighs, giving in. immediately, ace perks up at the prospect of food.

“sacha!” lami calls, just as they burst through the doors. an older woman comes out from the back room, wiping her hands with a towel. her gaze brightens as it lands on the three.

“oh! come in, come in.” she puts her hands on her hips as they all pile into a table. “so, how was school?”

“horrible!” ace groans. “crocus kept asking me all these questions i couldn’t answer. and only me!”

from beside him, kidd snickers. lami pokes ace with her elbow. “it’s because you were a smartass yesterday.”

ace huffs, slumping to the tabletop. “sacha, they’re being mean to me!” he whines. “please, the only thing that can help is food! please feed me!”

sacha rolls her eyes at the act. “sure. whatever you say.” she winks to the other two, already turning towards the back. “i’ll bring some stuff right out.”

“thanks, mom!” kidd calls. lami echoes his words, and then they’re both turning to ace, who’s still slumped against the table.

“hey,” lami says suddenly. “fuck dragon. don’t think about it.”

ace hums, head still buried in his arms.

if only.

-

sabo has the dream again.

he sets upright, and everything is at a lower angle, and pieces of stiff, black hair fall in front of his eyes. he hums, thinks nothing of it. okay. so it was a do-over dream. maybe he could do better this time.

luffy opens his door with a short bang some time later, and pauses for a moment to eye him with trepidation. sabo cocks his head to face him, but otherwise continues bouncing his newly-acquired black locks. he couldn’t help it -he’d never had hair this long. 

“breakfast!” luffy snaps. he closes the door with the same amount of force he’d opened it with, and it hits the frame harshly. sabo’s hand drops from his hair, finally.

breakfast is, unfortunately, not a quiet affair. sabo has to fight over rice, fish, soup -everything, really- until it’s all properly dished out. a little radio in the corner of the room blares out about town hall news, and sabo cocks his head to it as he nibbles on some meat, swiping his chopsticks out to keep Luffy from his rice.

“also, in regards to the upcoming mayoral election-”

garp has already stood up by this point, and pulls the plug on the old machine before the announcer could continue. he comes back to the table in the newly quiet atmosphere, and luffy sets down elbows up on the glass top, sighing.

“you really should make up with him already,” he grumbles. “both of you,” he adds, turning that glare to sabo. sabo only blinks, not knowing the context of the words, and chooses to resume eating in quiet rather than respond.

“it’s an adult problem, kid,” garp grunts, setting down his empty bowl. “go on, now. get ready for school.”

luffy lets out a long-lastings sigh as he throws himself to his feet. “right,” he says, letting the word drag out, and drags himself from the room. sabo sets down his rice bowl after his last bite, nodding to garp.

“thanks for the food,” he mumbles, standing as well. garp grunts, but grabs for sabo before he can pass by completely. sabo pauses, looking over his shoulder.

“don’t forget, the ceremony is in a few days.”

that’s all he says, then he releases sabo. he doesn’t know the context, again, so he just nods and hurries up the stairs back to ace’s room.

the red band isn’t around his wrist this time, and it takes a bit of digging around, but he does find it in a spare drawer. he takes a brush through the thick locks, then binds it into a low ponytail at the base of his neck. if a knot wasn’t right last time, maybe this was. he uses the band in place of an elastic, pulling it tight, and nods once he’s satisfied.

luffy is waiting for him downstairs. he bounces on his feet, using both hands and a loud voice to say bye to their grandpa. sabo just nods, and garp nods back, letting them go. 

lami and kidd run into him before the pathway splits, and luffy looks on in indifference until lami has him on her shoulders, and then he’s squealing with delight or annoyance -sabo can’t tell. it only takes a moment for her to set him on the handlebars of kidd’s bike, and the redhead breaks out into a jog, balancing luffy, who does enjoy this one -evident by him throwing his arms over his head and shouting in joy. lami loops sabo’s arm through her own and they follow at their own pace. when the pathway splits, they help luffy down and he waves them off, continuing towards his own school.

sabo finds his seat by the window, but once class starts, he can’t focus. it’s all stuff he’s learned already, so he spends time instead jotting stuff down in a blank page of the notebook. ace’s family was two people. his brother, luffy, and his grandfather. there’s a third person him and ace share in conflict with. he has two close friends, lami and kidd. kidd is the son of a electrical contractor -the guy who controlled all power out here in the town. which, technically speaking, seemed to be out in the middle of nowhere. the high school sat over the ridge, and it was all sabo could see for miles around -that was, nothing but rolling hills. 

“portgas,” a voice says gruffly, enough to grate sabo’s ears, and he looks up to find the entire class staring at him. his brows furrow, until he meet the teacher’s gaze, locked on him. sabo swallows, setting down his pen. 

“yes?”

crocus lets out an overdue sigh. “nice of you to finally respond. define ‘twilight’ for me.”

sabo blinks, then stands in one clean motion, nodding. “it’s . . a time between night and day,” he finally settles on, unsure of what the man was looking for. he’d gotten all the questions right last time, but they only served to annoy him. and also bring on more questions. sabo wasn’t exactly sure how to respond here to get it right this time.

crocus grins, and sabo feels a little nervousness run about. “not quite what i was looking for.” he gestures with his hand, and sabo sits down, confusion growing.

“‘twilight’ is neither day nor night. it’s a time when the two become blurred. where all the funny stuff happens. afterlight, in other words. right before dusk.”

“what about half-light?” kidd pipes up, hand slightly raised. crocus allows the outburst, humming.

“that’s more local dialect, but, yes.”

sabo lets down his guard again, and goes back to doodling, scribbling notes in the columns. 

he finds the diary after school.

it’s a small pocketbook, easily overlooked. call sabo curious, though, for upturning the room. ace is organized, and his small script is neat. reading through the entries doesn’t help, though. sabo sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose. guess he had to do this on his own. well, for a do-over dream, he thinks he did rather well. if it happened again, maybe he’d get to finish learning what he only discovered this time around.

he’s settling down on the futon when a stray thought comes to mind. the words ‘who are you?’ scribbled in his sketchbook hit him out of nowhere, and sabo stands on the thin matress, gaze falling to the desk in the corner.

after a moment, he walks over, feet carrying him and hand reaching out for a small marker. he hesitates for a moment, then presses the ink to his skin, writing his name carefully.

-

sabo jerks awake, head fuzzy. shanks opens his door at the same time, and the blond has a conniption, about doing a front-somersault off the mattress. he lands on the ground in a heap, groaning.

“relax, kid,” shanks says. “it’s just me.”

sabo’s leg twitches. he lies there for a moment, only vaguely thinking about going back to sleep.

“ . . you okay?”

his phone starts ringing and sabo forces himself up to silence it. “fine,” he mutters, waving shanks off. with a shrug, the redhead leaves, closing the door behind him.

sabo’s gaze is fixed to his arm, now that he’s stopped waving it. his brow furrows, and he grasps his right with his left hand, bringing it closer. he squints.

there’s writing scribbled onto the skin. ‘sabo?’ it reads. ‘who are you? what are you?’

it was a dream.

right?

makino frowns at him as he enters the kitchen. “don’t cause trouble today,” she says quietly. sabo blinks, eyes widening and heart racing.

“what? what did i do?” he stammers. she only looks at him again, sighs quietly, and exits the room. down the hall, the front door closes.

“what did i do?” sabo asks koala, who frowns upon spotting him in the hall before class was due to start. 

“you got home too late, is my guess,” she muses. “makino called me, y’know. wondering where you were.”

sabo blanches. “did i have a shift?”

“ i think so?” she squints. “you headed off in a hurry. saw something, i guess. are you okay?”

he waves her off. “fine, fine.”

she looks at him for another moment before shoving the door open. “right.”

sabo goes straight home before his shift at the restaurant. on impulse, he flips to the back spread of his sketchbook, where the last note was. his eyes widen.

“i can’t believe i got to stop a real-life goa robbery attempt last night,” he reads. “sorry, i may have gotten scuffed up?” sabo takes a step back, and the sketchbook falls from his hands. it’s loud when it hits the floor. “what the fuck?” he breathes.

he pads over to the mirror, but there’s no marks on his face. without any airs, he strips of his shirt, twisting this way and that. ah. there, on his left side, was a small patch of bruising. luckily for him, it was on his burns, where all the skin was nerve-dead. he couldn’t feel a thing.

suddenly feeling lightheaded, sabo falls to his knees. his right hand comes up to trace the bruising.

“oh, sabo!”

he turns on his heel, empty plates balanced in outstretched hands. robin walks over the last few steps. “yes?”

“thanks for the other night.” she nods. “and for making sure i got home safe. that was really nice of you.”

the pieces connect, rapid-fire, and he works hard to only nod back. “no problem,” he murmurs, then ducks quickly through the door to the back. so, robin was the one almost mugged. she must live pretty far, for him to take her and be back late enough to cause makino to worry.  . . . that would also explain the weird looks he received from his other co-workers when he arrived. 

sabo sighs, taking a moment to pull his arms on top of his head, open his airway. then he’s poked in the back with a ladle, and his eyes open back up. moment over. he turns to see thatch eyeing him, a lazy grin on his face.

“what’s got you worked up?” he asks. before sabo can even think about not replying to his cheshire grin, zeff is yelling for him from across the kitchen. he moves quickly, picking up dessert trays and swinging out of the room once more.

he gets a text from shanks that has him calling as soon as he’s clocked out, pressing his phone between his shoulder and chin. it takes one ring for the redhead to pick up. “yes?”

“sabo! come straight home today, okay?”

“yeah, got it.” he sighs. “sorry . . about yesterday.”

“nah, don’t worry about it.” shanks pauses, and sabo can picture him physically waving the words off. “i know you didn’t mean harm. still, makino’s a little worried, so do her this favor.”

“got it. see you soon.”

sabo pockets his phone and pulls out his metro card in place of it, stepping fully into the train station. his head is spinning. 

it was a dream, right?

-

ace finds the diary, and it makes him sad before it gives him answers.

so i don’t forget again.

he’s found three, similar, pressed into the back of a crammed bookshelf. all of them have the same title. he finds his fingertips pressing into the burn scar around his eye. was it to do with this? was it all part of the same thing?

the last entries of the diary confirm his worries. sabo wasn’t aware of what was going on. he was slowly realizing it, but slowly was bad for ace, who knew from the first event what was happening.

i’m not dead. we’re switching bodies.

he was switching bodies with sabo triste, a boy his age living out in goa with his two guardians, makino and shanks. ace goes to sleep, and wakes up as sabo; he’d spent more time as the blond this week than he had himself.

‘stop writing in my sketchbook!!!’ is written right under his script on the same page, and ace traces the words carefully. he takes a pen and writes, right underneath, ‘surely one page is okay.’

he hesitates, then he writes, out to the side - ‘it’s not a dream.’

it can’t be a dream anymore.

[bettersafethandicks]

[takes a huge hit of a blunt] hey dude what if you were like the calypsos pet and some vague bandit group kidnapped you and held you for ransom lol

@sugar-high-viking this is 4 u binch

troy n tyreen x gender neutral reader

as you all know nothing sexie happens that ‘x’ just emotional 

warnings for getting beat up by extremely rude and rowdy boys and also for calypsos showing genuine care and affection also for lack of any editing

It wasn’t supposed to be like this.

           You kicked and writhed as the marauder dragged you by the ropes digging into your wrists, rubbing them raw.  Your pleas and curses were muffled by a rough cloth gagging you, and you were already bleeding from the scrapes and cuts you’d gathered while trying to escape.

           “Keep ‘em yellin, its picking up great.”  The guy following you with a camera laughed, keeping you in focus.  

           The bandit dragging you jerked the rope to one side, causing you to slam your cheek against the filthy floor with a yelp.  It wasn’t long before you were hoisted up, the bindings at your wrists looped over a ceiling beam; high enough to keep you barely stable, on your tiptoes in a position that was going to ache sooner rather than later.  You stopped your cries and panted harshly, worn out already.

           “Right, you freaks listenin?” The camera operator spoke to his future audience, panning the device around you.  You tried to follow him, turning your head as he circled you. “Your poor little pet is only gonna get more banged up the longer you keep us waitin’.”  

           At that, the masked man who dragged you in slammed a punch into your side, earning an audible crack and a piercing shriek.

           You couldn’t make out more of his words, twisting in your strung-up position, yelling in agony, each breath bringing bolts of pain streaking through your body.  

           “Shut them up for a second, will ya?”

           A hand wrapped around your throat, cutting the air from your lungs and silencing the already muffled wails.

           “Guns and cash- not delivered by you two.  In fact, send someone disposable; it’ll be a little trade-off.  No funny shit, or you’re gonna be getting this thing back in installments.” The knife biting into your jaw was barely noticeable beyond the panic of oxygen deprivation.  “Ohh, maybe we could make their face look like brother Calypso’s?! Wouldn’t that be fun?  Why don’t you put your suggestions in the comment section, huh?”              

           The camera lowered, and the lead guy gave a nod; the pressure came away from your throat, and you gasped desperately.  Your side was screaming in pain, bone shifting like a handsaw under your skin, but your lungs took over reflexively and tears sprang to your eyes as you wheezed.

           Your chin was grabbed to look forward, face slick with blood from where the knife sliced you.  “Nice job pet.” He said it like an insult.  “I can see why they like putting you on their fucking videos so often.”

           “Should we send an ear or a finger?”  

           “Mmmh…Nah, not yet.“ He was typing on the ECHO device, probably sending the video to the twins.  “Let em respond; see if they know we’re serious… Then we can figure out what to start slicing off.”  

           “God I wish I could see their faces when they get that message.”  The bandit beside you was moving you, pushing you to turn, off-balance and huffing. “Can I even out their ribs?”

           “Eh, sure.”  He was already turning to leave the room, giving your guard a lazy wave of his hand.

           The door slammed shut just as the metal-studded knuckles cracked into you for a second time.

           The blood drying on your skin itched.  Not that you could reach well to scratch it with your wrists still bound; you had tried to get the bindings slippery with blood to wriggle out, but the rope was too tight and you were too weak to put up much of an effort.  You were curled up in a tiny cell now; (more like a cage, if you were honest) shattered ribs aching no matter which way you lay.  

           The taste and smell of copper was overwhelming. Thankfully you still had all your teeth, but your lip was split and the insides of your cheeks were torn and bleeding. You’d swallowed enough of your own blood to be sick, as if the regular pain wasn’t bad enough.  You weren’t sure what was making you more dizzy; the blood loss or the hunger or the dehydration. It had been close to two days now since you had been dragged from the wreckage of an ambushed caravan, out of the Calypso’s watch for once while you and a few other cultists ran to the nearby town.  You sniffled, blood still trickling from your nose.  You just had to go into town that day, huh?

Every hour or so (you think; the best way to tell time right now was by seeing how long it took for blood to dry) someone would come by to make sure you were still conscious, kick you around, snap a few pictures, and then leave. You wondered if the twins were even going to save you.  You had devoted yourself to them and they seemed to care for you but… you’d seen them throw other followers away when it was convenient.  Or when they were bored. True, never ones they had doted on this much but…you hadn’t seen every pet they ever had.  You trembled slightly and curled in on yourself more, trying not to tear up at the thought of being abandoned by your gods to be tortured and die here.  

               “Oh shit- TROY IN HERE!”  

You felt like you were hallucinating.  You cracked an eye, the one not stuck shut with blood, to see Tyreen, your queen, your god, rushing to you and falling to her knees to put her hands on you, caress your face, make sure you were breathing.  Troy barreled into the room moments later, covered in blood that wasn’t his, coming to kneel beside his sister.

Tyreen held your head up off the ground “Faithful, can you hear me?” She was worried.  She was worried about you.

You hummed out a soft acknowledgement.

Troy ran his fingertips over the cuts and bruises that bloomed across your shoulders and sides, pulling away before he reached the rainbow of red and black and blue that sat over your broken ribs.  You had never seen him so…upset.  A mixture of hurt and angry, like he wanted to go back and kill the bandits all over again.

“Oh, sweetheart…”  His voice was soft.  “Tyreen can’t you-“

“They’re too old.”  You could swear her voice cracked.  “The injuries are too old I can’t-  It won’t work.”  You tried not to groan in pain when she moved you to pull you into her lap.  “Call the medics- Fuck, Troy they’re freezing.”

You had enough of a grip on reality to know you were in shock by now, shivering weakly.  Tyreen cradled you, pulling her shoulders in to surround you protectively.  Troy was barking orders through his ECHO device, though you couldn’t pick out words anymore.  You just wanted to fall asleep, finally safe in her arms.  They were here, after all; this was all you had hoped for.  Tyreen stroked over your cheek, you couldn’t even feel the gash there anymore…this was alright.  You were alright.  

  It was bright.  Your eyes were closed but it was too light, overpowered bulbs searing through your lids and waking you up.  Stupid as it was, you opened your eyes directly into the artificial sun sitting over you, squeezing them shut just as quickly and turning your head to the side with a barely audible groan.  

“Tyreen! Hey!  They’re awake!”  Footsteps rushed closer as you opened your eyes to see Troy Calypso, twin god and all-powerful siren keeping a nervous watch over your bed.

“You’re awake…”  He murmured it mostly to himself, running a hand over your jaw.  You could feel him thumb over the dull bumps of stitches in your skin, comfortably numbed by the best painkillers on Pandora.

Those narcotics definitely came in handy as Troy wrapped his arms around you, pulling you halfway off the bed and sending IVs and monitors clattering around.  He buried his face into your shoulder, inhaling your scent like he was making sure it was real.

“Troy…” you were almost scared at how faint your own voice was.

“Troy!”  Tyreen yelled.  “You’re gonna break them again!”

“Oh shit- “ He jumped, nearly dropping you before setting you gently back on the bed and attempting to realign the blankets and IV.  

  Once you were deemed stable, the twins insisted you stay in their room, and it wasn’t like you were about to argue.  They didn’t want to let you out of their sight for any longer than absolutely necessary; you got the feeling anyone who tried to approach you would be evaporated on the spot by one of them.  

It was surreal, having the Calypsos care for you. Feeling Tyreens careful hands undoing the wrap around your chest, soothing you as you take a few painful deep breaths to keep pneumonia at bay.  Troy pulling the bandages off and making sure your stitches were holding, cleaning the blood away from the wounds with a cool washcloth.  Both of them helping you out of your clothes and into a warm bath, hushing the sharp hiss you make when the water hits your injuries.  Troy usually had to pull you out, the hot water making you too weak to climb, and Tyreen would be right there with a fluffy towel, not caring if it became stained with your blood.

Once it’s safe enough, the two of them sleep on either side of you, tucked in a luxurious nest of pillows and blankets, each of them keeping at least one hand on you through the night.  Even after you’ve healed up enough to change your own bandages, they insisted on being there, making sure everything was clean and uninfected. Tyreen even pulled your stitches out herself; it barely even hurt.  Even later, it became a habit for them to idly trace over the lingering scars as you sat by their thrones, neither of them having to look to know exactly the path the marks cut across your skin.  

Away from cameras, they’d kiss over raised lines, assuring you that you belonged to them, and no one on the planet would ever take you from them.

[arcanesupern0va]

Header from ao3commentofday:

Creators: give a “behind the scenes” look at one of your works. This could be things that got removed or changed, the origins of ideas/details, whatever you like!

This is some cut content from when I was struggling to figure out how to start Ch8: What It Is To Burn before I just completely edited the ending and went from there.

The first features a scene of what happened to Scar Rick in the Ch7: Shameful Metaphors. I still hold to this as what happened from Nova’s POV, I just never really had a reason to revisit it. 

The second was just an attempt at finding a way for Rick to kinda... trap her in the house? But it wasn’t like him intentionally trapping her in the house or anything, just Rick things happening that would stop her from leaving. Not sure why I didn’t like it over a reread. I guess it just wasn’t doing what I wanted it to thematically. Who knows anymore? 🤷‍♀️😂 oh and also Morty talks to Nova about Rick and her feelings for him, I really wish I would’ve kept that. Ah well, c’est la vie.

The last is just Rick trying to talk to her to get her to stay. And he’s drunk. And its kinda adorable and yet again, I don’t know why I didn’t like it.

Scar Rick

(1144 Words)

Everything that had happened, from Scar dying to Rick proclaiming he’d rather have the council dead even at the risk of my own safety… It was too much. It was all too fucking much. As I gathered my belongings, packing them back into the duffle I’d arrived with was hard, but I needed time to process. Watching a Rick die, even if he wasn’t my Rick was haunting me. Every time I closed my eyes, I could see him lying there, turning paler by the second.

“Then he dies. I’m sorry Nova.” Riq IV had stated simply from his throne with a shrug. Vicious anger ripped through me, as he spoke into his watch, delivering an order to have C-137, my Rick, assassinated.

“You piece of fucking shit, you have to help me.” I bellowed up at the blue-haired fuck.

“I assure you, he will have a painless death and you can go back to your dimension and get on with your life.” He told me casually. My eyes shot to Scar, looking at me anxiously as his own eyes flitted between the council and me.

“Well, if that’s going to be how it is…” I dragged out slowly, casually stalking forward, gripping the pistol Scar passed me discreetly. “Then, you die. I’m sorry Riq IV.” I took aim, firing as the six council members dove out of the way.

“D-Dammit Nova, stand down!” Rick Prime bellowed from behind his throne.

“Wh-Why?” I demanded. “I’m just regarding his life the same as you regard my Rick’s. NBD, right?” I spat at him venomously. 

“Nova, c-calm down.” Scar said soothingly, resting a hand on my back.

“N-No, fuck you Scar.” I flinched away from him, turning my gun on him. You just can’t fucking trust Ricks can you?

“Nova, there are two fucking council members with you in his sights.” He urged through gritted teeth. “Calm. Down.” His head nudged lightly in the direction of the grand doors where I found two Ricks in white suits, their guns trained on me with no emotion on their faces.

“What am I supposed to do?” I asked him hysterically. “I knew coming here was a bad fucking idea.”

“Give your Rick some fucking credit.” He murmured gruffly. “He’s gotten out of tighter jams than this one.” 

As if on cue, the entire citadel erupted around us. Screams from Ricks and Mortys were deafening as they flooded into the Council Hall. We had been teleported, planting the Citadel in the center of what looked like a large prison. Groflamites rained from the ceiling, and we put our differences aside to take out the immediate threat. Two of the bugs were able to dispatch the Guard Ricks and once I was out of immediate danger I raised my weapon again, aiming it at the nearest Council Rick.

“Nova! Drop the weapon.” Quantum Rick said, approaching me with his own gun pointed at the two of us. “Just, let it go. He was just a Rick. He probably would’ve gotten you killed anyway without a second thought.”

“You know Nova since you’re all alone now, you could always look for a new Rick.” Riq IV grinned viciously as he eyed me wickedly. “I’ve never had the pleasure of a Nova.” 

“And you never fucking will.” Scar growled, pushing me behind him as Riq IV stalked closer.

It happened so quickly. A gun went off, a window broke and Scar groaned. Initially, I thought a bullet broke one of the remaining windows of the council, but as Scar fell to his knees clutching his chest, the true horror of the situation became rapidly apparent. Quantum Rick’s pistol was still smoking as he grinned evilly at me. The other Ricks had formed around him, staring at Scar in disbelief.

“I’ve been meaning to do that for a really long time.” He chuckled darkly. 

The entire citadel shifted, dropping me to my knees as the Ricks around me struggled to keep their balance. I couldn’t stop staring at the Rick who had protected and cared for me as he bled out on the cold marble floor. My distraction offering Riq IV his opportunity to grab me by my arm, Zeta Alpha Rick appearing to have the same idea as he grabbed the other. The citadel shook again, scaring Quantum Rick enough to head for the door and disappear down the hall. The two Ricks pulled my arms in opposite directions like I was a goddamn ragdoll. Quantum Rick returned, shouting at the two to let me go. The surprise caused both of them to reflexively release me and I dropped down next to Scar.

“I’m so sorry.”

I grabbed my things, shaking away the memory as I surveyed the room, making sure I hadn’t forgotten anything. Certain I had collected everything, I pulled the door to the office open, making my way down the hallway to find Morty and Summer watching TV.

“Where are you going, Aunt Nova?” Summer asked coolly. I was surprised that she had even seen me as she hadn’t exactly looked up from her phone. Morty looked up from the couch, quickly assessing me and standing up.

“I have to go handle some things at home,” I told her with a shrug and started walking away. Morty followed me to the front door, his brow furrowed.

“Au-Aunt Nova, wait.” He said, grabbing my arm to stop me in my tracks. “Y-You’re going home? Wh-What about Rick?”

“What about Rick? I just have to sort some things out.” I repeated wearily.

“Wh-Whatever he did-”

“H-He didn’t do anything?” I assured him as I pulled the door opened and the warm summer air washed over me. “We had a bad adventure, but I’m not going home to stay.” 

“Yeah, she’s planning to leave in a bo*uuuurp*dy bag.” Rick slurred, stumbling out of the garage. I rolled my eyes at him, crossing the driveway as Morty berated him. Rick groaned at his grandson before catching up to me. “Nova, wait, I’m sorry-” He started.

“Rick, you’ve done nothing wrong,” I assured him calmly but firmly, I glanced over at Morty, who took it as a cue to make himself scarce. Rick took his absence and opportunity to lead me into his garage and I spared one last apprehensive glance to my house before following him. I suppose I could avoid Ryan for just a little bit longer.

“Nova, I don’t like this.” Rick started again. “What are you going to say to him?”

“I was thinking something like, ‘Hey Ryan, I would really rather fuck the old man next door than you, literally ever again so I’d like to get a divorce.’ How does that sound?” I asked him sarcastically.

“I’m pretty sure you don’t even have to tell him that, you-you could probably just do that.” He grinned devilishly.

Wichgurten

(807 words)

I shook the memory away when a knock broke my reverie. “Au-Aunt Nova?” Morty called from the other side of the door. “C-Can I come in?”

“Of course Morty.”

“Wh-What happened? Where were you guys?” He asked me nervously.

“Nothing sweetheart, just another bad adventure.” I brushed him off.

He caught sight of my packed bag, fear coating his features. “Y-You’re leaving? N-Nova, please don’t go .” He pleaded. “I don’t know what Rick did, b-but you were the one who said he was bad at showing he cares-”

“Morty stop.” I silenced him. “Rick didn’t do anything. H-He probably saved my ass from my own hubris today.” 

“Th-Then where are you going?” He demanded. “Why are you leaving now?”

“Beth said Ryan’s been looking for me.” I shrugged. “I can’t hide from my problems here forever.”

Morty was silent for a moment before looking up at me, his eyes stoic. “You love Rick, right?”

“I-I… N-No, o-of course n-not, don’t be s-silly.” I stammered unconvincingly as he stared at me unimpressed. “I-I don’t know, I think so?” I conceded finally. “It’s been a really long time since I’ve felt like this, whatever this is.”

“S-Since he left?” Morty asked sympathetically.

“I-I’m really not comfortable discussing this with you.” I dismissed him, picking up my bag and securing the strap over my shoulder. “Let’s talk about something else, how’s Jessica?”

“Au-Aunt Nova, I mean this respectfully be-because I love you, but you’re being an idiot. D-Don’t run back to Ryan because you’re afraid of Rick. Love him or not, I saw what Ryans have done to Novas. I-I just don’t want that to happen to you.”

“What are you talking about?” I wanted to ask, but before I could say anything, blast doors were coming up over the windows, blocking any possible exit, save for the door into the rest of the house. Rick stormed in frantically, running his long fingers through his hair.

“S-Sorry Nova, you can’t leave yet.” He informed me, shutting the door behind him.

“Th-The fuck do you mean I can’t leave,” I demanded angrily, pushing him out of the way and opening the door myself to find the house slowly being covered in creeping vines. I slammed the door quickly wearing a terrified look as I turned back to Rick. “What the fuck is happening out there?” I bellowed. “It looks like one of my fucking nightmares.”

“Yeah, you ever pissed off a witch before? I don’t recommend it.” He explained flatly, averting his eyes from me.

“W-Witches are real?” Morty asked horrified as he watched vines cover the window making the room almost pitch black. Rick opened his palm, pressing it directly in the middle to produce a small amount of light. “Wh-Where are Mom and Dad?” He pressed Rick angrily.

“I-I-I-I don’t know Morty! I didn’t see them but I don’t think they were in the house. I heard Beth yelling at Jerry before they got in the car and took off. I haven’t seen your sister though.” He mentioned nervously.

“Summer’s not here.” Morty breathed a sigh of relief as he realized his family was safe, for the most part anyway.

“What do we do?” I asked Rick, doing my best to remain calm. “When have you had any time to be pissing off witches? Did you steal her cauldron or something?”

“N-Not those kinds of witches Nova.” He corrected me quickly. “Witches are a species from the Wichgurten galaxy. They’re sentient fucking plants.”

“Are you fucking kidding me.” I groaned loudly. “What did you do to them?” 

“A-A couple years ago, I found their planet and they have Ojivardium there, Nova. Ojivardium is an incredible fucking power source, and I may have mined their planet dry.”

“You what?!”

“I needed it more- Look that’s not the point, they finally figured out a way to create power on their own and they found me here- for fucking planets, they’re like goddamn bloodhounds- and they want their vengeance.” He explained dramatically. I groaned, dropping my duffle back to the floor and sitting down at Jerry’s desk in frustration.

“Rick! How are you going to fix this?” Morty asked angrily. “We can’t just stay in here forever!”

“Y-You think I wanna be trapped in here with you for the foreseeable future Morty?” Rick shot back at his grandson.

“What about your portal gun?” I asked, interrupting the two before they could squabble more.

“It's in the garage.” He lamented. “I was fixing the hack job Scar Rick did to it and I saw the vines and I… forgot to pick it up.”

“Rick!” Morty and I shouted in unison.

“I know, I know, I fucked up.” He relented. “I think I have an idea of how to get rid of them.”

I approached the window, inspecting the vines scaling the walls.

Drunk Rick

(533 words)

God fucking dammit Nova.

After killing the entire bottle, I stood up and tried to catch my balance before going to look for Nova. I caught her by the front door still looking morose and pitiful. Her eyes met mine eagerly before she closed them and took a deep breath, apparently trying to will herself to power past me. She brushed past me, knocking my already precarious equilibrium off balance, sending me toppling against the wall. She looked back at me horrified and apologetic.

“D-Don’t worry about it, sweet girl,” I slurred, waving my hand dismissively. “You can run into me anytime you want,” I said with a wink.

“Gross Grandpa,” Summer called from the living room.

“Sorry Summer.” Nova blushed. God, she’s so pretty, like too pretty. Ugh.

“What are you sorry for?” Summer called back, and I could hear her rolling her eyes. “Grandpa’s the one being weird.”

“Sh-Shut up Summer.” I interrupted them, completely uninterested in Summer’s opinion on me hitting on her Aunt. “Nova, can I talk to you for a moment?” I asked her quietly, sweeping my arms clumsily toward the garage. “The garage door will stay open s-so you can flee whenever.”

“I’m not running away Rick,” Nova told me and despite her annoyance, she followed me to the garage. “Make it quick,” she demanded, sitting down in my chair, leaving me to pace nervously.

“I-I just wanted to know what the hell was going on. I-I mean, are you okay? Why are you going home?” I rambled.

“I’m still in shock from everything that happened, Rick,” she told me flatly. “And I’m going home so I can try to never have to go back there again.”

“A-Are you sure you need to do that, right now?” I pressed.

“I’m tired of worrying about it.” She shrugged. “The longer I wait, the angrier he’s going to get, whether he intends it or not.”

“L-Let me go with you.” I insisted, slurring my speech despite my attempts to sound perfectly reasonable.

“Yeah Rick, I’m sure he’d love to see you there too. ‘Hey, Ryan. I want a divorce. I made out with the old guy you really hate for some reason and I liked it a lot more than I anticipated, which I assure you is saying something, so I’m just gonna go do that now, wanna watch?’” She glared sarcastically and I couldn’t stop the smirk forming on my face.

“Oh, you liked making out with me huh?” Goddammit, that was not the part to focus on but yet here I was imagining it as she rolled her eyes and picked her bag back up.

“I gotta go, Rick,” she said, rubbing the spot on the back of her hand, causing a quiet alarm to go off in my arm. “I’ll call you if I need you, okay?”

“Nova, are you sure about this?” I asked apprehensively as I followed her to the garage door. She stood on her tiptoes, pecking my lips softly before grinning despite whatever trauma she must be processing. Her touch sent a sense of calm through me and allowed me to watch her leave without chasing her down and making her stay.

[nerdylittoyvoid]

“Fall Risk” Pt. II

A/N: Hello again friends, I am back with another part for @writinginstability‘s writing challenge! I had way too much fun with this part so I hope you all like it, lemme know if my obscene sense of humor is making this work or not :)

Warnings: Swearing (Gavin’s always making this fun for everyone)

Y/N woke up to bright lights taking over her vision. She heard the steady beating of a machine beside her and the IV machine administering fluids. Looking down, she saw long IV tubes coming from her left hand, and a bandage cast on her right. How she landed up here was beyond her, the last thing she remembered was getting out of the car, grabbing Connor by the arm and running.

Looking to her left, she saw Connor sitting at her bedside. His eyes were closed, though you knew enough about androids to know that he was probably making repairs or updates on his software. His brown curls were disheveled and his tie undone – something that has never happened. The guy took every chance he got to make sure his appearance was up to par, seeing him in this state only alarmed her further.

“Connor?” Y/N asked timidly. Her mind was running wild at what could have possibly happened. She remembered nothing. Connor stirred, she supposed he simply was not interested enough to respond. He certainly was starting to develop selective hearing.

Taking in a breath, she tried again.  “Connor!” Connor’s eyes snapped open, moving to look her in the face. “Why am I here?”

For the first time, Y/N heard Connor chuckle. It was truly music to her ears and somehow was incredibly comforting. At least someone (even if it was an android) found humor in this situation.  

Connor opened his eyes and took a look at Y/N. She had scratches down the right side of her face, and was a bit bruised all down her right shoulder. “Well, Y/N, let’s just say that you aren’t allowed around trees or benches anymore.” 

Shaking his head, Connor gave Y/N a smirk.

“What?” Y/N demanded, clearly shocked. “I know I’m clumsy but how the hell did mess myself up like this? Did I break a bench?” Y/N’s eyes widened at her next thought. “Is the bench okay?”

Connor rested his index finger and thumb on the bridge of his nose, closing his eyes. Something about the way she was acting, showing more concern over an inanimate object than her well being was… endearing? Yes, that might be the word for it. “Well, you grabbed my arm and started running towards a nearby park. You wanted to show me what it is to be ‘alive’ and subsequently tripped over a tree root and hit your head on the bench beside the tree.”

“Oh my god- “

“I appreciate your effort on showing me what deviancy has to offer. But, even though I am not as fragile as humans, I’ll pass.”

“No, no Connor. I just fell that wasn’t a demonstration of anything- “

“I called Gavin and Hank and explained what happened. I assumed it would be best to have those who know you well to be there during your recovery. I also contacted Captain Fowler to notify him that you will be taking time off of work to recover.”

“Connor, you shouldn’t have done that.”

Right before you could begin scolding him in walked Gavin. Wearing his typical leather jacket and jeans, he stopped in his tracks to look at Y/N, only to burst into condescending laughter.

“Well, well, well.” Gavin tutted while crossing his arms. “If it isn’t our favourite tree kicker.”

“Gavin, kindly shut the fuck up.” Y/N retorted. She groaned as a headache came upon her. Gavin, after all, did have that effect on people.

Hank walked in after Y/N and Gavin’s little exchange with a look of amusement adorning his face. “never a dull moment eh, Pinky” You groaned at the use of your adolescent nickname. All because you dyed your hair pink when you were sixteen, and now you’d never live it down.

“I hate all of you.” Y/N crossed her arms. She had a roaring headache, was most likely concussed and now she had another story that was going to be told at her wedding.

“I’m sure that both that tree and that bench could say the same about you.” Connor sassed back. This little quip of his made the entire room go silent, he was usually so literal. Connor joking was almost unheard of.

Gavin was the first the break the silence. “So, the plastic prick now knows how to joke.” He scoffed.

The visit continued as follows: Everybody made fun of you. That was it. It was about an hour into the visit that your arm started killing you, so the nurse topped you up on morphine. Gavin wasted no time in gaining footage of you high on painkillers for “blackmail purposes”.

After another hour, you were asleep. Gavin had returned to the DPD, which only left Hank and Connor.

Hank turned to Connor, seeing his LED blinking yellow once again and a frown etched onto his features. The damned LED always seemed to be yellow these days.

“What’re you thinking about, Connor?”

“Y/N got hurt trying to convince me that being deviant would result in a better quality of life. That I am alive. Why would she do something so foolish?” Connor’s gaze moved to her face. Scratches adorned it. He wondered if they would lead to scarring.

“She’s always been cartoon-ishly optimistic, sometimes naïve. I wouldn’t beat yourself up about it, Connor. If I know her well enough, she isn’t anything close to upset with you.”

Connor nodded. What was this heaviness he felt in his chest? Sadness, Guilt? Was it both? Was it even possible to feel more than one emotion in one sitting? “It’s not that I’m concerned about her being upset,” Connor lied, “it’s merely that she is such a great asset to our investigation, it’d hinder it by having her off work recovering.”

“Whatever lets you sleep at night, Connor.”

“I don’t sleep, lieutenant.”

Hank rolled his eyes and chuckled. “Whatever. When you can, look up what sarcasm means.”

**************************************

Y/N returned home a couple nights later. She was instructed by doctors to periodically take her pain medication to aid with her concussion and arm, as well as to stay away from lights and digital screens. Connor insisted on staying home with her for the first day that she was released, insisting that “The best detective at the DPD needed to come back fully recovered”.

Y/N blushed, poking fun at his attempt of flattery. “Connor, you, a machine that cannot feel made a personal compliment?” Y/N walked into her kitchen with Connor following suit.

Connor responded in a hushed tone, aware that loud sounds could cause her to experience pain due to her concussion. “It wasn’t a display of romantic or platonic feelings. It was merely a fact.” Connor stated. Somehow, he felt flustered, as if he was trying to convince himself more than Y/N of the former.

“Whatever- “

Connor cut Y/N off, “-helps you sleep at night? Hank noted that phrase as sarcasm while you were sleeping in the hospital last night. He told me to look it up.”

Y/N laughed at this, then winced at the loud sound as it had caused her head to throb.

Connor continued, “I took the liberty in looking up and beginning to master all figures of speech. I hope that it will help me better integrate with humans.”

Y/N turned around and flashed him a grin. With a joking tone Y/N retorted, “Stupid nerd.”

“An insult and an oxymoron all in one. Most impressive.” Connor said as he put a hand on his hip, using his other hand to lean on the kitchen counter.

“You’ve done too much research on sarcasm and sass. I don’t need another version of Hank at the DPD. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to play a video game from my childhood.” Y/N grabbed a Pepsi the fridge and walked to the living room.

“The doctor instructed not to be in front of any screens for the next 24 hours- “

“The doctor can kiss my ass, I spent 48 asleep in the hospital room. I’ll be fine.”

“Yeah, head injuries are just a result of the brain smacking against the inside of the skull.”

Y/N chuckled at what she thought was Connor’s attempt at a euphemism. She thought he was becoming more and more deviant by each day.

She grabbed the controller for her old PS4, now considered a classic. She remembered her parents telling her about how they used to play this all the time before she was born, passing the hobby onto her when she was old enough. Oh, where had the time gone.

Connor scanned the controller, searching the internet to see what console it could belong to. “That console is 25 years old!” Connor had exclaimed for the first time, fascinated by the old technology.

“It is! My favourite game on it is Skyrim. Its in medieval sort of time setting on a planet with magic.”

Connor’s eyes widened. “Fascinating.” He muttered.

“You want to watch me play it? I can start a new character so you can watch the storyline from the beginning?” Y/N offered.

“I think I’d,” Connor paused. He’d never been in a situation where he’d like to do something. “enjoy that, very much so.”

Y/N looked shocked at his choice of words. He was developing likes and dislikes, seemingly growing out of his aloof and uninterested behavior. “Well,” Y/N began with a growing smile on her face, “Let’s get started!”

Connor and Y/N played for hours; Connor fascinated by how such old technology seemed to impressive and new to him, and Y/N fascinated by the look of pure wonder on his face. For once since Connor became activated, he was not focused on a mission, for his only task seemed to “just be” with Y/N.

A ‘system instability’ alert came up in Connor’s vision. He quickly ignored it. He felt that since his purpose for being here was serious enough (solving deviant cases and all), he might as well enjoy himself every now and then.

The conversation started to die down. Connor felt this was awkward as he thoroughly enjoyed talking with Y/N. He tried thinking of conversation starters but was stumped, he’d never been in this type of predicament before.

Connor resorted to searching the internet (since he had it built in to his program).

“Conversation starters”: 15 000 000 000 results.

Connor chose the first link he saw: “Good questions to get to know someone”

Reading through the list, he finally decided on a couple questions he felt would be best. With that, he cleared up his throat and began speaking.

“Y/N?” Connor asked.

“What’s up?” Y/N responded while taking a sip of her Pepsi.

Connor turned to Y/N, meeting her eyes. “Are there any recent or interesting events pertaining to your love life?” Connor inquired, tilting his head.

Y/N choked on her drink in response to the randomly personal question.

“Where the heck did that come from?”

“I searched the internet through my system on questions to start conversation, this seemed like the one that would produce the most reaction.”

“You got that right, why would you ask about my love life?”

Connor shrugged. “It seems like the subject humans are most passionate about. Talking, commenting on, or joking about their love life is very common in social culture.”

Y/N sighed, contemplating asking this question. If she kept the person- no, android she had her eyes on very vague, he wouldn’t find out, right?

She took another sip from her Pepsi, paused the game and turned to Connor. She positioned herself to be sitting cross-legged with her back against the arm rest of the couch. “What the hell, I’ll tell you. I do have my eye on this one person, though he’s very... unattainable.”

Connor nodded slowly. “Would you consider- “ Connor stopped, thinking of the term commonly used for mutually partaking in romantic activities.

“Asking him out?” Y/N asked, trying to finish Connor’s thought.

“Yes, that.”

“Well… No, I don’t think so. The risks are too high. Others would strongly disapprove and the relationship itself would be very complicated.”

Connor processed her answer and continued to pry, now very curious on who this mystery person was. The bubbling in his chest and stomach seemed overwhelming. Imagining someone else spending time with Y/N like he was, causing him to be with her less made this sensation worse. Maybe this is what jealousy felt like. “Are those the reasons, or is it really because you’re scared of being turned down?”

Y/N stopped, surprised by his next question. “You’re getting really good at this ‘asking questions’ thing, aren’t you?”

Connor shrugged.

“Yes. Mainly I am scared of being turned down.” Y/N admitted. “But the repercussions outside of that are very risky.”

“Y/N Y/L/N, the girl who has been playing video games for 4 hours after getting discharged from the hospital is afraid of risk.” Connor said sarcastically. He smirked at her when she rolled her eyes, amused at her reaction.

“I guess I’m more scared of rejection than brain injury.” Y/N joked. Hearing Connor slowly trying to get her to pursue a relationship with… well, him, was starting to make her uncomfortable. The smile she has put on her face slowly disappeared, leaving a frustrated and confused look on her face.

“I don’t know what to do, Connor.” Y/N sighed, defeated.

Connor felt the need to do something – no, anything to help Y/N. Feeling the need to ask for consent, he asked Y/N if she needed comfort.

“I know that humans enjoy physical interaction when faced with hard situations, I thought it may help.”

“That would be really nice, Connor.” Y/N gave him a warm grin, moving towards him.

Connor opened his arms, Y/N graciously taking the offer. She ended up with her head on his chest, listening to the sound of his thirium pump. The beating seemed to accelerate when she wrapped her arms around him.

“Strange,” Y/N thought to herself, “I thought androids didn’t experience physiological symptoms.” Y/N made a note to herself to ask Connor later, not wanting to ruin the moment.  

Y/N looked up to Connor, taking in his warm, brown orbs. She sighed contently. “Thank you, Connor. Truly.”

Connor didn’t say anything, going for a calm smile in return. They stayed there for a moment, looking into each other’s eyes. They didn’t say anything, for the silence surrounding them was calm.

It was as if everything was acting organically. Sensing the heat of the moment, Y/N was the first to lean in the slightest bit, Connor doing the same.

Connor’s pump accelerated considerably, a ‘signal instability’ alert popping up in his vision. He couldn’t help but think to himself; “Is this the right thing to do?”

Taglist: 

@layinglonely

[blckdtd]

"Train"

i had a crush on a college friend for like three years already... maybe longer than that. im writing this post because ive dreamt about him this morning. i tried to sleep again as i still want to continue that crazy dream since it was a bit beautiful. we were happy in that dream. but im not sure if because we are together as a couple or as something else.

i actually really like seeing him smile most of the time, thats why whenever we go home together i try to talk to him and make him laugh or smile as much as possible. but, being a funny person was not my best asset, so its always... awkward. it also fascinates me whenever we dont talk at all, or when his face is blank with unreadable emotion, though sometimes im having anxious thoughts that maybe he was annoyed on why do i kept talking and talking when he is clearly not interested. those moments taught me to shut my mouth most of the times.

but how did everything started? ill try to recall everything dont worry.

it was summer, and we were still freshman in college, group chats for sections in our department were already made and people were already having some clicks and groups. i also found our class' group chats, and while scrolling on the member's list, he was the first person i added on facebook since i noticed he was quite good looking (young me dumb me. always lookinh for the face. apologies). but i never messaged him personally on facebook.

first day came in, he was the first person i talked to actually since he was the person i first recognized. but, during freshman year, he was not my seasonal crush. had a crush on two person on different sememsters, one for each sememsters, but i dont think theres a need to elaborate on that i guess. maybe another time.

sophomore year is starting to come in. summer after fresh man year, i found out that the four of us will be in the same section, me, him, T, and A. the thing is, we actually belong in the same group of friends, we also have the gc (group chat). when i found out that the four of us are in the same class, i started to have some panic or thinking, that "oh shit. he is my classmate. this year. he ll be on the long list of my seasonal mandatory crush (i know. it sucks to have this mentality, like i cannot move forward to my life without having a crush on anyone or anything). i tried to avoid the feelings because he is quite a nice person. but it happened after that event.

swimming class, this was the first day i guess??? i cant remember. but i know it was the swimming class. the four of us were kinda huddled together since we dont rrally get alonv with everyone yet, and the instructor said to group ourselves in to two. to be honest, during the time, i quite sure o dont have the feelings for him yet. so me and him like automatically paired ourselves, since t and a automatically paired themselves. then he said "lets go there". then we grabbed each others hand, under the water. i can still remember that time because after that day, i did not exactly have it in mind, but the longer the time passes, the more i can remember, and im pretty sure he dont even remembered that day.

we hold hands under water and he lead the way. it was not the romantic type holding hands, the one where people actually intertwined their hands, it was just simple holding hands. then we let go, and started the routines we need to do.

being that im the fat one, i did feel how his hands are kinds bony since hes quite thin. and he is also lighter, i even believed that i could piggy back him if he ask me too. i know that he is lighter when our instructor ask us to do a simple floating where we simply lay flat on the water surface. it was fun knowing that he actually cant do that given that he is a really good swimmer and he is lighter too, but i can, a non good swimmer even if it could save my life. i almost like carried him in my arms to guide him how to float, thats how i found out he is light, but thats okay, i also liked that about him.

then one day, i woke up, i said to my self. "shit. im having a crush on him. this is not good". what i hate about this, is because i have the constant need to show off or have his attention or be in the same grouos or anything with him... like? we are already going home together cause we take tge same train or something, im so greedy, attention seeker, obsessed, annoying. i also chat him on facebook most of the time, like i always need to find a reason to talk to him or something. almost the whole year of second year college was me being a bother to him or something, and i just fully realized it now. and if ever for some reason you read this, yes, this is about you, and im really sorry for bothering you all these years thinking that you might, well, "reciprocate" the feelings, in short, sorry for being immature.

til this day, some parts of my heart, wished that there are times where he did enjoy our small talks on the train, or if he did enjoy having me as a "friend".

i can still remember how we talked about the girl you almost become girlfriend, about how you felt when one of our classmate gave you something on valentines day, how i fucked up and confessed of having feelings for you, and how we somehow remained as friends even after that day. i know you told our other friends that i confessed my feelings for you, thats why they started teasing me about it.

i missed you needing me to go somewhere sometimes because youre not much of a streetsmart or always forgets how to go some certain place. i remember how i said that you can rest your head on my shoulder when we were on the train on our way to one of our friends house to make a costume, how i lend my earphones to you so you can listen to some music even though i actually love listening to music, how you waited for me on train station even though i was late. we had a meet up.that day because you want to buy something that we found while looking for some naterials to make the costume, well you waited because you barely remember how to get there in the first place. not gonna lie, i was kinda happy how you waited for me on that station.

i can also remember how we talked throughout our jeepney ride on our way to the station, im sorry to say this, but during that day, i somehow had a hunch that you were just talking to me because i kinda led our way on how the two of us will get home, because you dont always talk to me in first place, ever since that day you knew, which i did understood, but i dont know why i still.stood my ground on seeking yoir attention. ha! but yes i can still remember how i take you to your station on your way home because you dont know your way, i got off of the train even though i could have just stayed and have my way home. it was fun though, and so foolish of me.

why am i even head over heels on you even after all this years? yes until now.

third year college, i promised my self that ill try to stop having feelings for you. but i didnt. but we were on that level where we just accepted that yeah i know that you know thatbinhave feelings for you but we will just be civil about it. we were kind of a pair tbh, you can use my phone whenever you want since that was the time when yiu dont have your own phone. you actually have more photos on that phone than me lol. we were in a civil state to the point we even became automatic pairs on an activity in botany class. we even became thesis groupmates. you probably had the most contribution on that thesis so i still thank you even till this day.

i also remembered when you asked me to come with you to get your birth certificate since you actually dont know how to get one, not gonna lie again, i was kinda having a moment back there since we were in the middle of thesis day, more like finishing it up, but you asked me to come with you. we travelled like for almost an hour for that, fell in line just to have your id photocopied, then i instructed you on which line you should take next, how to get this and that, then i waited for you, again. so we can also go back to the university. i had some realizations that day. on the lengths that my feelings for you drove me.

i also remembered how we went home together like we usually do after that earthquake since the station had a bit of crack on its foundation. but we went to separate ways you rode a jeepney on your way. i walked to mine.

one of the things that touched me was when you asked me about my favorite band, why did i liked them, and you somehow, had some small history, that you listened to them before or something.

but there are also those days where we dont even talked about anythibg at all. we just stayed silent. and bid our goodbyes and take cares. maybe those were your favorite days, just kidding.

im not trying to paint you as bad guy for not reciprocating or anything. im just remembering things, and i need to let them out.

it kinda sucks when i didnt saw you on the last day where we need to return our graduation gowns because i need to leave early that day because of an emergency family trip to the beach. just a celebration because i just graduated.

im sorry i still havent picked up your drawings that i said i will buy just to help you. because i had a job that time and you still havent because youre supposed to go to a medical school.

our company had a job opening but i was too shy to send the invite to you, idk why. i did tried to talk to you again just like a normal friend but, i know i cant. even while writing this, i can attest that im still not in the best condition to talk to you because i still... cant move on. this sucks.

there are parts of me that wished i didnt approached you on the first day of class. or maybe i shouldnt held your hand under water. or maybe... i shouldnt have just let this.feelings swallowed me.

i dreamed of you last night. but dont worry, nothinh sexual. i dreamed of holding your hand again. and seeing your smile. softly playing your hands until they were intertwined. it was a good dream. i wish i didnt woke up. but i need to.

your smile was so beautiful, i rarely saw them actually even after hundreds of train trips we had together. i loved the sound of your laugh actually that will soon give your smilling face. i can even remember your eyelashes they were so beautiful, though i hope you werent freaked out when i looked at you.

youre a beautiful person, your smart, you sometimes dark humor, you being lowkey gentleman, your creativity and artistry. everything about you.

to end this, i hope you know that it is not late to pursue your artistic passion or to go to a medical school. youre a brilliant person Eli, i hope you know that also. and i loved you, as person, as a friend, as someone who i went head over heels. right now, i do wish we meet again, but in a different time, but now, i only wish you happiness and success. thank you for being part of my life as a simple college student.

[pinksweatergettingbetter]

warning, the following has mainly snarky (and possibly furious) opinions on Spirit of Justice. Reader discretion is advised.

Okay folks. this is it. part 1 of the final chapter

here we go.

-

trial day 2?? oh yeah i forgot they split this game up in the worst, uneven way possible 

-

wow that cutscene was

something alright

-

wow datz actually managed to hold onto the snow globe. kudos?

-

what the fuck

i think i heard it wrong but Dhurke’s objection sounds like an old man 

I'm pretty sure i heard it wrong 

missed the bass

-

who was that no– oh Garananana

i guess she's gonna be the final boss instead huh

- 

im so tired i cant even snark properly 

-

“is that kosher?”

i like it

-

oh god

what.... what is she wearing 

i mean

fuckin

TALK about madonna-whore complex. oh yeah, time to turn super evil?? bear your midriff! show off dem tiddies! 

look, SOJ. theres only one bad bitch in ace attorney who can pull off floaty tendril hair, and its NOT ga’ran.

i cant believe i have to look at this train wreck for the rest of the trial

-

“heh heh heh. its all coming back now. the feel of my blood pumping through my veins”

this is perhaps because youre actually moving now, your eminence.

-

can we just dispense with the trial and have a good old fashioned anime fight? cmon apollo, spike up that hair and grab your BFS. 

-

“meep”

WHATS WITH THE MEEPING

BONNY DID THAT TOO

SOJ ITS 2016 ...ACTUALLY ITS 2028 YOU HOLES

-

everyone in the court: :O what??? whats wrong with rayfa??? why is she sad???

oh i dunno maybe because her fucking Father just got brutally murdered?? maybe??

what the fuck is up with SOJ characters being dumb as a bag of bricks when it comes to other peoples’ feelings regarding death of loved ones???

-

phoenix: shits fucked, thats why?? apollo: OHHHHHHHHHHHHH

-

“seems like she's worse off today than she was yesterday”

hey game you'd better not be implying any shit 

-

“discipline”

soj

-

alright, back after another longass break. i can do this.

( That’s oddly compassionate of him, all things considered )

I was about to defend Nahyuta because what kind of person wouldn’t try to spare a child from witnessing that kind of trauma... but then again, this is the Sadmad who purposefully tried to trigger someone into losing a trial so

(shrug emoji)

-

grana’s gone into full HORHORHOR BITCH MODE 

partially I'm totally numb because i dont have any stakes in her newfound ebilness, and partially I'm tired of this weird new trend of child abuse in the new games 

- 

“Barbed head.”

oh my god 

the first person she goes to after realizing that her caretaker is gone is fucking Phoenix 

im gonna cry 

“ive been reduced to “royal robe remover”” NO NICK YOU’VE BEEN UPGRADED TO DAD BY SOMEONE WHO’S NOT YOU

( ‘It’s like she’s grooming Mr. Wright to be Nayna’s replacement’) 

I know this game is all about confusing bullshit for heartwarming moments and vice versa but guys 

good lord

my heart

i really needed that 

-

(sigh) they really couldn’t get someone who sounded like a fucking 14 year old to do her voice?? really???

-

rayfa: (looks like she's going to die and collapses)

apollo: this is not good...

gee apollo you really think so? 

-

wait a fuking second 

we went through the whole dance cutscene and we’re not even going to see the pool??? does that mean the priestess has to be conscious and present for the images to be visible? ...and how does that work, anyway? 

i just realized, a medium could use a pool to see the dead, but how the hell could they project it for others to see?? does she literally open a portal to hell???

(sigh) i just regret sitting through that cutscene again

-

“cabal of traitorous lawyers”

i love that

-

(Seriously Dhurke? This is no laughing matter.)

this basically sums up Dhurke’s entire personality 

...yknow, i know what they were trying to do with his character– i really do. i know he’s supposed to come off as a dashing, cavalier rebel who laughs in the face of danger. 

but they overshot endearingly irreverent and ploughed straight into fuckwaddome. if you want a character to be charming, they need softer moments too. Dhurke isn’t a bad person, but he’s kind of an asshole when you get right down to it, and nothing so far is proving otherwise. 

-

ok ive heard Dhurke’s Objection again and it doesn't sound like an old man– it just sounds about as overblown and ridiculous as Manfred von Karma’s (not to mention about as deep)

-

LET DHURKE SAY BITCH

... i guess

-

another perfect example of Dhurke being kind of a fuckwad: he keeps needling the queen and baiting her in ways that could get himself killed, which would be all fine and dandy if he were the brave resistance leader being tortured for information in the bowels of a dungeon.

...but here’s the thing.

IF YOU DIE, DHURKE, APOLLO AND PHOENIX DIE TOO. DID YOU FORGET ABOUT THE GODDAMN DC ACT? ITS NOT JUST YOUR DEAD ASS ON THE LINE HERE SO SHUT YOUR SASSY TRAP AND THINK ABOUT SOMETHING OTHER THAN YOUR *AMAZING WIT* FOR ONCE.

you’ve got 2 extra lives on the line here.

...3 if my suspicions are correct.

-

stop calling him son please you abandoned him in an orphanage and didnt contact him for 14 years.

...and if he can’t call you ‘dad’ you have no right to call him ‘son’

-

coming back to this after ghost trick has convinced me that one of ga’ran’s lackeys miiiiiight be related to Cabanela, baby

-

“Wright... I can see we are kindred spirits, you and I! Hah-ha ha ha ha ha!!”

NO

NO 

NO

NO

FUCK YOU DHURKE 

-

“It’s pretty easy to spot the difference between a soulless man and the soulless shell of a man”

ok that did get a laugh out of me, good job dhurke.

-

apollo: pls dont get us killed dhurke: mmmm ok ill try but I'm not promising anything lol

://///

-

“But remember, son, if you truly believe in me, you should be able to prove my innocence.”

do i even have to list how many reasons thats wrong and a shitty thing to say

-

“Such Insolence”

You’ve been beat out, Not So Fast

-

Ga’ran used Gust!

Apollo flinched and couldn’t move!

-

“I could behead you at any time”

she's got a point; she’s a fucking despot, there’s no reason to actually hold a trial. i mean i guess she wants to shut up the rebels but just killing them would be a lot easier and its not like she has any qualms about murder

-

“Aw shoot, ya got me.”

again, not an appropriate reaction for whats going on buddy

-

lol get fucked kjudge

-

DGFUFUS OH COOL

WE GOT GUILTY (excited cheers from the audience)

the applause and the shots of everyone with :O faces is making me feel like i just won a gameshow 

wheres my cheesy jingle 

-

also i love how Dhurke’s like “oh shit!! my assholishness has directly resulted in my son’s death!!! did NOT see that coming!!!!!!!!!”

-

again the sound mixing is drowning out the background music (sigh)

-

“your benevolence? I’d be happy to lend an ear if you’d like to talk!”

>this is it, this is why he leaves the series guys. Apollo is too good for these sinful games.

-

DAMNIT DHURKE, YOUR SHIT MOUTH IS RUBBING OFF ON YOUR SON

-

hmm

we’ve got an april may here

-

“Rayfa, I shall buy you a new servant”

so Kooraheen practices slavery..? I mean, she.... she said ‘buy’, not hire.

-

“she would have left shoeprints”

do

do you know what evaporation is your malevolence 

-

wait wait wait

that doesn't make any sense 

the only prints leading out are from Inga, but the prints inside the building are from Nayna? how did she avoid leaving prints leading inside, then?? did she just long-jump over the dirt path???

-

the guards are not fanboying, apollo, they’re toadying. there’s a difference.

-

apollo: maybe the place he was stabbed and the place he died were different 

(the game only continues after you carefully explain what dying of blood loss is three years later)

-

to be completely fair, there are actually stories of people who were unaware of being stabbed 

furthermore, when you get stabbed, you’re not going to be the most rational human being on earth. 

phoenix, don’t give sadmad that point, especially when he’s currently assaulting your protege 

now, as i was saying, Apollo’s suggestion that Inga was stabbed in the back and then ran into the temple is perfectly plausible; running to shelter from an attacker is probably the first thing you’d want to do when injured, and the tomb was a pretty safe place, i’d wager. 

tbh i really don’t know why they’re arguing about him feeling the pain as that wouldn’t really impair his movement considering he was stabbed in a place that wouldn’t affect his ability to walk???

but yeah apparently he was doped up to shit so 

-

...i highly doubt back pain medication is strong enough to negate a stab wound. on the other hand, if it is and your back pain is THAT intense, Inga, you need to see a fucking doctor pronto.

...yeah shots straight into the spine is one step away from surgery; not to be an asshole but I'm not sure Inga was doing so well anyway before he went 

-

huh. are they really gonna give us an actual choosable choice to abandon Dhurke and save our own skin? Cause that would be interesting; a lot like the old games where you could “”choose”” to defend a client or not.

to be clear here, though, i wouldn't choose “no” even as much as i dislike dhurke. we know (sigh) that he’s innocent, and even if i dont like him it’s our duty to defend his shitty ass

OH HOLY FUCK

THERES THE CHOICE

wow. y’know SOJ, i dont much like you, but you fuckin Did That. well done.

also thank you for the Justice pun it is much appreciated.

-

“And while I can’t say I’m used to it, this isn’t exactly my first rodeo”

FWHAT

>game flashes back to the Ahlbi case

DSKJFLS THIS IS LITERALLY THE “at second rodeo: this isn't my first rodeo” POST

-

YES OK WE’VE SEEN THIS CUTSCENE TWICE NOW ALREADY

WE GET IT, RAYFAS GOT COLD FEET ABOUT BEING QUEEN

MAYAS IN THE GAME 

OK

-

phoenix: allow me to mansplain how rayfa is feeling despite how fucking obvious it is. after all, we know our players have the mental and emotional capacity of goldfish!

oh hey mansplain is a legit word in the dictionary 

cool!

-

why are they building this up?? just fucking tell Rayfa to do her stupid dance again and get on with it; we already did this at the beginning of the trial 

-

“Hmm... Indeed. It would be problematic.”

ohohoooohohohhhihgjhgo

-

oh her nails are actually tiny pen 

thats neat 

thank goodness Kooraheeneese is an up-and-down written language– otherwise they’d have to make a whole new animation for the english game teehee

-

“....................But... Horn Head needs my help”

oh my heart

-

dan she just straight up begone’d her 

-

see the one thing that falls flat here is that, during a regular trial, the prosecution saying “oh, ok, have it your way; you can try to prove your theory” holds up a little more since they... you know. don’t have absolute power.

where as, with Garananana, its more like she's just a huge posturing pushover. especially since every other minute she's saying “ok, I'm gonna kill you for REAL now.”

-

rayfa: b but if i fail you'll be killed!!! i dont get it...

apollo: i literally just finished explaining that I'm 100% ready to die for my shitty job that was like 5 minutes ago

it is sweet to see that he’s cheering her on though. good big bro 

-

I'm finding small solace in this beautiful moment of “your foreign dad and bro are here for you babe reach for the stars”

Athena’s probably flashing a double thumbs up from the gallery too

-

“But... I finally know now. I know in what I can trust”

Bobby, from the afterlife: YOU’RE DOING AMAZING SWEETIE 

-

Garan: What??? my tiny 14 year old daughter is going to do a thing i don’t want her to??? fuck there’s no way i can shut her up. not even with all of my large adult man guards who could easily just escort her out of the courtroom without any resistance because they’re my fucking royal guards and I'm the Queen

-

oh shit she took off her own cape

im so glad i muted the game so her awful voice actress couldn’t ruin this cool moment

-

and now as this long ass cutscene plays out again, i simply cannot help but wonder about the poor choir and how long they’ve been on standby 

where do they keep the choir during trials 

whats it like singing the dance of devotion song every trial 

-

oh finally here we go. alright, lets see what the magic party pool has in store for us this time 

...o ...ok then

-

OH! OH SHIT 

Inga’s face blind?!

Y’know I did have a few thoughts about that when we discovered his notebook but I didn’t think they’d actually go that route... though, thinking about it now, it is pretty convenient.

...ok everyone’s freaking out. maybe they’ve never heard of face-blindness? ...or maybe its not face blindness after all

im pretty sure it is though

-

i dont know why but everyone being like FUCK ITS GOD and phoenix being like “whoops shits trippy now” made me laugh pretty hard

-

ok i gotta say I'm actually a little invested now, even if its just because i think face-blindness is an interesting thing to incorporate into a murder case. again, a convenient thing, but an interesting thing all the same.

-

ahh fuck i keep forgetting how the stupid seance works 

welp, there goes one of my souls... (sigh)

-

..apollo you dont need to show her the picture of her dead father to say “he had a cell phone”.

-

the voice was coming from INSIDE THE PHONE 

-

RAYFA HAS A PET FROG????

WHAT

SHOW US THE FROG SOJ

SHOW US THE FROG! SHOW US THE FROG! SHOW US THE FROG! 

-

...why would Rayfa interpret the sound of the warbaa’d (something she’s familiar with) with a lion’s roar (something she’s unfamiliar with) ??

-

oh i see thats why Vore Machine is an idiot 

for plot convenience 

-

Datz Are’bal, a man who throws fire crackers at children.

...sounds like an are’bal guy.

bahdum-tshh

-

“The joker who got a kick out of startling Ahlbi with his Dragon Snot Snaps”

...something tells me that if Datz found out about Youtube, he’d be one of those “””prank””” channels.

also WHY ARE THEY CALLED SNOT SNAPS

WHAT DOES THAT MEAN

-

“happy-go-lucky”

i think you mean vaguely sociopathic

-

(sigh) ive finally been worn down to the point where i need a walkthrough. ive... been beaten...

-

boy ahlbi’s just a font of knowledge isn't he 

-

DID SHE JUST BREAK HER NAILS OFF

PLEASE SAY THOSE WERE STICK ONS

HOL SHIT

-

MMMM LAY IT ON ME NICK

face blindness 

... i mean theyre not calling it that but thats what it is 

-

yeah yeah channeling blah blah come on! youre in the LAND of channeling !

-

shduhjahdjk

I'm picturing Inga running into his own dead body and flipping his shit 

-

oh man. thats the end of Trail 2 part 1.

guess i’ll see you guys on the other side... heheh. 

[ts-akhmim]

Episode 7 “It's a Hot Mess Express “ - Scott

People are so hard to work with. I get they don't like this challenge truly I do but I just wish they wouldn't keep shutting down every idea I had. It's... annoying. I get that I'm also the problem here. Because if an entire room full of people is saying you're wrong then you're probably wrong but still. I dislike being shut down. I've just been feeling kind of isolated since my name was written down. Even in my own alliance it seems like everyone thinks less of me for being paranoid. It doesn't help that I'm not entirely pop culture savvy so a lot of their convos I'm a bit out of the loop on. Part of me wonders if it's cause I'm in a male dominated environment? I don't think they are sexist but I do think that I'm being unintentionally ignored. Like throughout the duration of this confessional I have submitted 6 ideas/comments to the group and they've either been left in the dust or dismissed. That has to mean something right? Is it my personality? Did I come on too strong with my enthusiasm? Do they think I'm bossy? Socializing doesn't exactly come naturally to me. If anyone had met me 4 years ago you'd probably be in the know. You know that ability where you can pick up what people imply, whether through body language or through hidden meanings. I don't. I literally was born with out that ability and it has done whatever the opposite of wonders are for my life. At first I thought it was fine, I thought hey no big, everything is good, people like me eventually. But then I played Malaysia... A lot of great things came out of that game, a lot of good friendships and memories but in a way it sort of haunts me. When the confessionals came out, for the first time ever I saw what people thought about me. Sure they liked me eventually but they also disliked me. Like really really didn't like me at all. It was my first real interaction with people outside of the treatment school I went to, it was my first real interaction with the rest of the world and people hated my guts. Don't get me wrong I always suspected I was disliked but... to see their actual written thoughts on paper was hard. Of course as they got to know me they started to like me but I couldn't forget that it wasn't always like that. That at one point they looked at me or their screen or whatever and saw a pest. And that's my biggest fear, that I'm the problem. That no matter where I go people see me and are filled with dread or disgust. That people are always wishing me some from of ill because I'm bad at conversation or sort of creepy. Well at least they came to their own conclusions now, maybe they pulled their heads out of their asses or because it wasn't me they were actually able to function. God this spiraled, I only wanted to complain about how shitty my tribe was being not go on this full blown existential rant. Fuck me am I right? I'm not sure what this is going to contribute to the game. There is no hashtag big moves or fun comments but like I already typed this up so I'm not going to delete it like a pussy. 

Ok now we can talk whew. UMMMM not Connor fucking up Duncan's perfect record! Now that I'm over the shock, thank you Connor because I'm 95% sure that obsession is the reason Duncan did the most to make sure Devon voted me instead of him back on Thoth https://giphy.com/gifs/mamovie-stalking-octavia-spencer-eavesdropping-j5uEVYERR0ncYlJ36e Really pleased with how the game is shaping up tbh, assuming I don't lose another music video challenge hahaha. I would LOVE a final 3 with me, Ali, and Devon but I know that's a long way off so I'm just focusing on the here and now. My biggest concern is protecting Ali. Essentially Duncan hit me up to work with him, TJ, and Jordan and I was very much like lol not sure about that. Mainly because Jordan and I don't have a strong relationship? And Duncan was like yeah but he wants to get to know you better and I'm like https://giphy.com/gifs/week-wtf-moments-QjIz1AqkGTszK If that's the case, that needs to come from Jordan and then it's between me and Jordan. Why someone else is interceding on Jordan's behalf is very dicey to me but I'm not that surprised because that continues to be a theme with Duncan: getting me to fit into plans that best suit him. Y'all know DAMN well Jordan Pines don't wanna go to the end with me and the feeling is mutual. But I HAVE to make it work with Jordan or Duncan will get pissy. He literally was like ok well who are you close with and I felt a serious feeling in my gut to not mention Ali. So I said oh I talk to Adam a lot but I wouldn't say I trust Adam. So after telling Ali all of this lmao, we decided I needed to go back to Duncan and say yes because it would keep me in the know and keep both of us safe. Also it allows me to keep an eye on Jordan and Duncan at the same time so we truly stan. And the gag is I'm not scared of Jordan Pines and I welcome the challenge of getting him out so love yall for letting me in through the front door hahaha My new issue is just timing. We'll be ok if we win this next challenge but if not, I could see that alliance targeting Ali. Obviously I have a plan and will put the vote on someone else but I really want to prolong turning on that group for as long as I can. I don't wanna spook TJ and I know killing Jordan will leave me with a pissed Duncan and I really don't need that based on how seriously he's playing. So I'm hoping I can finesse somehow? Maybe one of them gets idoled out at merge and then a blindside on the other won't be as messy. But yeah I keep feeling like the walls are closing in, in terms of allies, and I'm working HARD to make sure I have an exit strategy at all times haha cause fuck these men I'm trying to win again. I "love everyone" which means I have no problem voting out anyone

So let me just make sure i got this right, connor tried to get people to vote for me, they all told me, he "planned" with me to go for liam, then....he votes for duncan and he goes home unanimously? little did he realize when he went around and gave a feeble attempt at rallying people to vote for me, i had already rallied everyone to go for him and made sure everyone knew he was a liar and couldnt be trusted, you know im a firm believer in loose lips sink ships and i absolutely used my big mouth as my weapon to sink his ship. Even if there turns out to be some majority alliance that did this all without me then well...i guess that's another story but im still taking my hard earned credit because either way i got what i wanted one way or another so im here for it, sorry gal! i now find myself in a position i hope i can make some moves with, duncan already just made a vague to comment to me about how "it only takes 4 now" which he's right, and he mentioned autumn, himself, me, and ali. Which, that's a 4 I would love to go forward with for the time being, i like to think ive had good genuine talks with them 3 in particular, and now we can start get together maybe lock something in and if we make it to a merge or even another swap we at least have something to work with with each other, but we'll see, we gotta focus on immunity first now, id love to win just to for sure see any of the other people who lied to me go home oop so while i may be feeling ok now i just have to remember to simmer down and play smart and make the right connections with the right people i need and saying the right things to whomever needs to hear it, because that's what i do best in these type of games to stay alive, i feel like my intuition has been leading me ok so far this game so im just gonna keep basing my decisions off that and charging forward PERIOD and ill damn sure do it with or without the help of the tomb because a bitch can not get in ive tried over and OVER at this point im back to pounding on the door of it just hoping if im annoying enough yall will let me in!

i'll do a proper game confessional later but me and dan are both judges for the svalbard music video challenge and its so sad that we cant talk... its like... this could be us working on a music video if things were different kjlsdfa its missing dan and jake hours

Whew! Sorry about that what happened was I ran out of anxiety meds a few days and that rant was the commutation of being with out sanity pills for three days! Everything is fine! I am fine! People are fine! I am sorry to the future Thoth 2.0 tribe, you are all great, I just get very spirally when I am without some sort of stabilizing force! Sorry to the hosts for using this as a diary this is not a diary this is survivor... Anyway this time I have some more constructive things to add! Okay so things are fine. Dan and I continue to bond, though he had to call me out on being bad at communication in order for our relationship to progress. I get it was like a check point or whatever and frankly I appreciated it. Like I said in my rant yesterday I have massive paranoia when comes to interacting with people and whether they like me or not, so constructive feedback while annoying is always helpful. Plus through research I found that he values a good social game so the fact that he's reaching out and telling me what I'm doing wrong is probably a sign that I'm not a lost cause :D. It turns out we have a few mutual friends our lord and savior John Coffey and also Sarah,... Lynn to be specific there are like a shit ton of Sara(h)s so should probably clarify lol. I want to work with him. I know he's in the majority alliance with the brawn tribe, which also contains Jakey and Jordan. Considering the fact that the beauties are slowly but surely getting eliminated, their favor would be helpful to me and mine. However, I know for sure that one of them wrote my name down. Honestly probably both of them. I know I keep harping on this fact but I just really really don't like the idea of looking like an idiot by aligning with someone who wanted me dead or wanted to fuck with me. If we do lose this challenge we are going to have to figure out who to keep or who to eliminate, I feel like it should be between those two. Mostly because I'm not exactly comfortable with a brawn majority. Like I know how people are saying tribe lines don't matter and while they don't, advantages do. And what more advantageous than being in a majority alliance? If we get rid of a brawn that would make it 4 brains- 4 beauty - 5 brawn. Which seems a bit more fair lol. Also RIP Connor remember how I said he was a threat? Welp I guess this is why they don't ask me for cast assessments :/ and also cause I was dead for like several years.

absolutely nothing has happened in fact i was kinda in a ~mood~ today so i feel like my social game took a big L because i didnt feel like talking to anyone and i was busy so i kept being that bitch to responding once an hour ..... but in other news i finally accessed the tomb, and once i started using more than one brain cell at a time i was able to get in and it was actually about 10x easier than i was making it out to be im not sure WHY i was struggling so much but of course, to no surprise i finally get in and the pedestal is empty AGAIN. Now there's not only at least 1 idol from the last time i went in the tomb gone, but there's possibly a second too, if not an advantage that can easily be played against me. At this point all i can do is try and recover a little bit, tomorrow ill have to just try more with my conversations and hopefully one of the people i can somewhat trust is the person who has whatever was in their time time around but probably not, it's never that easy

okay so i have a video confessional from earlier uploading which is kind of a recap of the last two rounds BUTTT!! liam just finished editing our video and i love it!! he did so good and our tribe all tried our best... im just hoping the other tribe didn't go bananas all out, because if they didn't we should hopefully win... i really wanna win immunity because otherwise i feel like adam is gonna be the vote and i dont want that anymore KJASDFA. i would just be sad because idk who the alternative would even be.... so basically we better win immunity KJLSADFA

Me: Alright everyone, make sure you film horizontally!!! Devon: Fuck you

Honestly!!! I take back what i said about Kendall. I feel like we’re making some strides to work together??? Or she’s playing me? I’m hoping to stir a Devon vote this round because I think he threw the vote on Kendall to piss me off, but who knows. I wanna talk to Jakey and see what he thinks about a me/him/augusto/Amir alliance to get through this vote? Idk I trust him but who knows!!!! Maybe everyone is lying to me??? 

okay... i know i said god is a woman and her name is autumn but its time for the remix. god is a woman and her name is alyssa's mum because alyssa's mum just rescued us from defeat in that challenge JKASDF the judges were kinda unnecessarily harsh but we move on. basically for the other tribe's tribal, i hope jake/dan/devon live... hopefully another scary old school person goes but tbh who knows what is going to happen?! im just so happy to have made f13, i said i'd come 14th in my intro so we love surpassing my own expectations

the immunity challenge went well, we won, which is good because i just didnt feel like going to tribal council because im honestly unsure what the hell is going on, i wanted to feel good about the connor vote because obviously that was my plan from the start however he just made it a little too easy by not talking to a lot of people allegedly, up until right before the vote, i dont think there'd be an easy vote next time we go to tribal, unless ... it's me... am i the easy vote?? i wanna really think im not but its just always too quiet to me when we dont go to tribal there's also lots of talk and speculation about a possible merge at 13, but me and my vivid imagination aka paranoia think maybe another swap of some sort could still happen even if for just another round or 2, i never knew with you sneaky hosts!! also i know we won in the challenge but we wouldve won in the challenge by even more if liam used more footage of my video i sent in i feel like i got no screentime!!! but of course i kept my big mouth shut for once because there's no i in team so ill try not to throw too much of a diva fit but listen... i tried to give yall a DEATH DROP, and i pulled a wig ruveal by snatching off my hat, and i was giving you a whole tik tok dance i made myself..... but there was no way i was doing more than beyonce's part so he didnt have much to work with so touche .... the full version i made will just be deleted scenes for myself ill reflect on when im more mature and think to myself "what the fuck was i doing?" 

So not to my surprise, we end up losing the challenge AGAIN!! I've just accepted that I really don't have any luck in this game. I was really hoping that we'd just win every challenge until the merge because I'm over going to tribal and voting people out. I feel like going to the amount of tribal councils that I have has left a huge target on my back. But at the same time, I'm playing the game more than other are. Maybe I have that going for me, who knows. Anyways, the Thots alliance is deciding on either Devon or Dan for this vote. I basically told them I was good with either, even though I would perfer to keep Devon so that I at least have more of an opportunity to rebuild our relationship. I've made it very clear that if the group as a whole wanted to do Devon that I'd write his name down to prove that I trust this group moving forward. So we decide to go with Dan for this vote, and this doesn't really sit well with Jakey. I'm not surprised by that, since I know he's wanted Kendall out for awhile now. But he is really adamant that he doesn't want Dan to go. Which I get, he thinks that Dan would trust him moving forward. When it comes to Dan though, his social game lacks so much that it's like "I don't even know if I can trust him moving forward". And I think the fact that Jakey more so wants to target Kendall this round instead of Dan is a strong sign for me. I'm pretty positive he has an idol since the brain one has been found and he's lied to me about clues before. So this has me thinking, maybe it's a good time to get Jakey out this round? Thinking about it numbers wise for the future, we don't really need Jakey's vote for a majority this round since the four beauties and myself makes 4, and if we bring in Devon that's 5. Plus, I don't even think that Jakey's under the impression that he would... get voted out this round. He seems offly confident that he's staying, just that Dan's going. But I like to think he'd let Dan be a sinking ship and go.. Idk I'm gonna try to pitch this to Amir and see what he thinks. I kind of tried to hint around it to Augusto that Jakey wasn't cool with it, but Augusto kind of turned a blind eye at that. And I don't trust Kendall with my thoughts since she's very blunt... so I wouldn't be surprised if she leaked my plans. Similarly to what Devon did when I voted him out last week. I'm hoping that Amir will see where I'm coming from and that he might be open to that concept. For all I know, I could be voted out this round. And honestly, that'd be the smart move for them to make because my perception in the game so far has been pretty spot on. I think my self awareness this time around has been an asset for me, so I'm hoping that I can get by this vote and hopefully enter the merge soon. 

Coming back into the game, I knew I needed to open up a bit and start to Slither earlier than I would imagine. After throwing a vote onto Kendall, I broke down any chance between the Beauty and Brawn working together to knock out myself and Scott. I haven't told anyone about my vote, and don't plan to. Going into this vote, Dan should be the obvious choice. OG Brawn hasn't suffered any additional losses in numbers, and I'm just too close with Augusto/Amir/Kendall to consider flipping. In preparation of tonight NOT being a swap, I established an alliance with Amir and Augusto. They are a duo in every sense, but attaching myself to them sets up the opportunity to at least CONSIDER voting out Scott next round. It would have to be between him and Scott. 

All I got to say is oof… I genuinely thought I was on vacation after the last round like I’ve been SO bad about talking to people or at least that’s how I felt cause I was operating at 60% instead of the 110% I do when I socialize. That being said, I have my goals that I want to stick to and see happen. Dan needs to leave this tribal so I can get Jakey out next even if Dan leaving makes me really sad. Dan leaving takes a number away from the Brawn and a number away from Jakey, who I am able to get out by keeping Devon and having him/Kendall/myself/Amir vote for him if we happen to lose again. The alliance of me/Kendall/Amir/Jakey/Scott went on call last night and it was deadass an hour and a half long call where everyone was like “idk who should go but I’m fine with whatever” although… that certainly wasn’t the case. I, personally, made points that were pro-Devon such as Devon not having any clear allies to reunite with at merge and things like that and EVENTUALLY at the last 5 minutes of the call, we decided that Dan leaving is the better option. Scott and I even discussed a Brawn having to go before we even did the call so yeah. One thing I could tell though? Jakey was not having it. I understand his frustration but you can’t have your cake and eat it too. I voted out AJ to prove that I am not here to play by tribal lines and you said you would do the same but here we are… Amir called me last night telling me about how Jakey was trying to strong arm him into voting Devon out because Jakey didn’t want to do Dan… like sir, I’m? I’m very happy that Amir came to me and confided in me to kinda spill out his emotions like that makes me <3 but it also made me wanna pop off at Jakey because I don’t like those approaches in games hgfjdks even if I do really like Jakey, I was just ugh gjfdks. That aside, I feel like I am doing good about getting information and building friendships out here like I’m DEADASS is almost every single alliance on the tribes I’ve been a part of and while I don’t get tons of info from direct sources (ie. Jakey), I get the information from close allies (ie. Amir) which in a way can be even better? That being said, I’ve been way too good at forming friendships that every vote makes me feel really bad? With Dan for example, I adore that man like even if he isn’t the most talkative he’s just amazing. But does Dan benefit my game as much as Devon? Not really, even if Dan wanted to align. I’m sticking to my promise of doing what I have to do and be a little bit more cutthroat than I usually am because I do genuinely want to win this game and I’ll do what it takes to get there. Honestly, I’d be SHOOK if we do not merge next round or the round after ghfjdksm but I’m just trying to plan ahead and look at my connections. My Thoth connections are Amir > Kendall > Devon > Scott > Jakey whereas my Hathor connections are Autumn > Duncan > Adam (?) > TJ > Jordan > Liam M > Ali. If we do merge, making a secret thing with Autumn would be KEY just to have another person in my corner but also I need to connect with a Brawn to be good with them yknow? It’ll definitely be interesting and I can see the merge being messier than a taco bell bathroom BUT I’m hyped at the same time?

How is it already Day 16? There seems to be something seriously wrong with that. Anywho, I've let myself take a quick step back on the social game these last few days. I think I've put in the work to cement a couple strong groups here and can put myself in a good spot, but now I can avoid being the person that probably would be seen as a huge threat in the near future. Once merge hits (which I'm hoping is this next round), I'm going to have to go back to bringing that social game to a 9 (10 is where the Alyssa threat level begins), but right now I'm hopefully putting myself in a good place. In the event we don't have a merge and have one more vote on Hathor, I really think I need to make a move on Ali. I realize I keep saying this and I'm going to feel awful when he sees this all, but he is such a HUGE threat, and I can't let him skate by to where there's no room to stop him. I made that mistake last time in letting the person I knew would win get too far without me being able to stop them. Not this time. Ain't no fucking way.

This may very well be my last confessional lmao. I’m just feeling very paranoid about this vote and honestly I wouldn’t be surprised if everyone votes for me except for Jakey. Or if he even flips to the majority against me. And honestly! I’ve come to terms with it. I really tried my best in the game and I can’t be mad about how I performed in this game specifically. I understand I’m a threat in these games and if people are worried about me end game, quite frankly they should be. I know that I’ve played Tumblr Survivor one too many times and should have quit while I was ahead. I know I’ve talked about working with Kendall and killing Devon, but honestly idk who is voting where. I think I’m going to try to just go with what I think is majority (against Kendall) and just hope to god I’m not going anywhere. I hate having this defeatist attitude, but if I get voted out I’m going to have zero hard feelings and take it in stride. I guess I’m just not cut out to win tumblr survivor ❤️

Our video was so iconic, SHOUT OUT TO ALYSSA'S MOM!!! I should really be making sure im fortifying the bonds i've made but im really just happy to be on break and not have tribal. I've only been to tribal once within a 7 day time span instead of the 4 times in 7 days the brains endured before. I will say i was positively shook to get the vote from connor, but i never thought i could play a perfect game anyways lol. I'm hoping to god that dan or jakey go, i dont want the brawns over here to have other options than autumn and i come merge. Im surprised at myself because im starting to really want to stick with all these people come a merge, i suppose we'll see how it goes and how my attitude changes moving forward. 

Sooooooo I actually felt kind of bad about voting for Dan until he was throwing my name out :/ I guess you can't teach an old dog new tricks. I'm kind of nervous now. Like Jakey told me this and he did the same thing to AJ. Also I haven't heard anything from Scott yet... that's sketchy right? Ugh I swear if I'm voted out then Alyssa's mom, I will meet you in the Denny's Parking lot for a fight. I'm not afraid to throw hands at the elderly, ask Drew. 

We love when men listen to me an in turn we win immunity! This is now the second time that's happened lmao cause I sure did make everyone commit to a time block so we didn't play ourselves in the endurance challenge and I sure did suggest Telephone as the song choice so wooooo Not a lot has happened and I don't have a lot of time to talk to begin with but I have a strong feeling we are not merging tonight lmao. Tbh I look forward to another day on Hathor it's very chill over here, all things considered. Also I need a couple chill challenges the next two rounds cause ya girl is moving, graduating, and leading an underground movement all at the same time so don't set me up with a crazy time-consuming challenge lol

I feel vindicated. Starting off in this game, I was not doing so well gameplay wise. Flash forward, I've been a big contributor physically, and socially too! I've got big plans, and I will carry this tribe again if I have to!

(may've already submitted this but i'm worried i submitted it for day 18?)

Also...

ok let me just start by saying: im in an emotionally FRAGILE state at the moment writing this right after the winners at war finale.....SPOILERS IF YOU HAVENT SEEN BUT I HAVE TO SAY IT....NATALIE AND WINCHELE ROBBED, as inspired as i am by my aries sistren natalie and think she should've won, im even more upset for my fellow beauty sister michele because lowkey? i absolutely LOVE the way michele plays, because in my own head at least i like to think i at least play slightly similar, i like to lay low and just adapt to where i see i can fit the best, anywho thats all ill say on that, back to THIS game dan being voted out last round, was kinda meh, i had the tiniest conversation with him during one world and he did end up giving me some tea about the brawns, but i couldve easily tried working with him later on against the beauties, PLUS him leaving means that none of those false beauties left, which is bad for me because i want them all gone oop and ive worked hard over here trying to make sure everyone knows they are threats even if theyre not working together, they went against me and lied to me, which means i cant trust them or work with them, which means i need to make sure no one else does either it's very nice though duncan has approached me and asked who i was comfortable with incase we did go to tribal and he said him and jordan pines were pretty close and honestly jordan is the only one ive been on a call with this whole game which is fine because anyone who knows me knows i dont care for calls much in this game and that usually hurts me so im hoping its not hurting me this time but truly, im not sure people are approaching me way more with information and plans then they ever have so im hoping thats a good sign, espcially with duncan saying he basically wanted me to be in the know with him, i think i can trust him as of now going foward and i hope the same about jordan pines, because first of all i love his energy and him as a person my fellow stoner crackhead, and second of all let's be real i definitely want to use him as a shield later on cmon the guy has a season named after him, forget denise being the queen slayer, i want to be the king tamer also in good with ali and autumn i think?? i personally enjoy my short little convos i have with them frequently so i just hope we're on the same page, but idk the little voice in the back of my head is telling me it all seems too good to be true almost like a perfect illusion and maybe duncan is tricking me trying to talk to me about "keeping this tribe strong", so i guess we'll have to wait until the next time we go to a tribal together to find out so yeah in conclusion, sorry to dan, and plot twist of the century im rooting for jakey to not be voted out the other tribe? even though im still convinced he could be making me his number 1 target especially if he gets in kahoots with kendall, but im hoping i played them against each other enough during the one world so that didnt happen 

What do ya know....another tribal council. After only being exempt from one tribal, this has become somewhat of a routine. I am extremely confident in the numbers this round. I'm under the belief that everyone will be writing down Jake's name, and Jake will likely be writing down my/Kendall's name. Still, I believe there is a worry about idols. I would hate to be idoled out by Jake after everything I have worked towards...I can't afford to throw my vote on Kendall or Scott with the merge coming up so soon, because it fractures my game going into a potential merge...Somewhat of a "all or nothing" bet tonight.

Me @ the brawns who have been on this tribe: https://media.giphy.com/media/szPZ2NXIGCMcE/giphy.gif

So a couple new developments: 1. Jordan offered me a final two which I'm sooooo excited to see how that's going to turn out. I've really connected with Jordan this game (which admittedly I didn't think would happen before this game), but he's been the person I've confided in the most out here. So I really think this is going to be the start of something amazing. 2. With this F2 deal, Jordan told me that Amir/Jakey knew each other outside of this game. This is bad for me both because Jakey is supposed to be my other guy with Jordan, but also Amir is the person I'd want to target come merge (which should be next round). I have zero connection to him, he's proven to be good at comps, he's won this game before, and he doesn't add into my plan of having numbers on every side. So now I'm in a spot where I think I'll probably have to make a move against potentially my closest / other closest ally in this game. Being safe right before the potential merge feels amazing and opens a lot of opportunities, but is extremely scary knowing who is going to merge. Hopefully come to merge, I have a chance at the merge idol to avoid anyone else having the chance at getting it, because I need some added knowledge in this game.

I am so fucking pissed at Devon. WHY ARE YOU ON THE BRAINS IF YOU HAVE NO BRAIN CELLS!!!!!!! dsfjkaafkjdaldjfjadksjads Great now I get to die!

I don't know why Jakey wants to kill me. I am not a threat. Like at all? Most of the strategies I come up with are bad and I am barely social? Sure I guess I can win like a challenge or two but not enough to be physical? I mean I'm trying to kill him but like... honestly he started it 2 rounds ago. I am a paper tiger worse I am a paper giraffe. Sure I'm tall but basically harmless and only sort of evil. At least I remember why I hated him so much. I don't hate him NOW, I'm 22 years old I have better things to do then hate some guy for trying to win a game. But I am annoyed and inconvenienced by this. Maybe a little hurt too because the only reason I can think to get voted out is because my personality sucks so much that he doesn't see a future where we can work together. Which is fair I guess? But I can't be that awful right? God this game is a constant existential crisis... Also I think people are annoyed with me for being paranoid and shit. Oh I'm sorry people who's name isn't getting written down, I'm sorry I'm not more pleasant while I'm in fear for my metaphorical life. 

It’s a MESS ITS A FUCKING MESS SCOTTIE WANTS DAN OUT DAN WANTS DEVON JAKEY WANTS DEVON DEFON WANTS DAN AUGUSTO AND KENDALL WANT JAKEY AMIR WANTS NOT JAKEY OR AUGUSTO OR KENDALL I literally don’t have number in this game and I’m going to get fucked on at the merge 

Okay so Augusto basically told him that his name was an option for this vote or the next one and Kendall told him that the brawns are bringing up his name and said that he was the throw away vote So now my gut is telling me dan did it and jakey was in on it But I don’t care, if that’s the case Everyone on this tribe wants a brawn out, EVERYONE I just have to make sure it’s not jakey Because Augusto and Kendall want jakey now and I refuse it Rn it seems they r okay doing dan It seems everyone is cool doing dan So I’m happy with that

Jakey is fucking strong arming me r u joking Ndbdjdjsns Jakey talked to scottie And got scottie to want devon So now they’re gonna try and call the alliance tmmrw and change to vote back to devon over dan And if Augusto and Kendall don’t want to Jakey wants to pull brain and brawn to vote kendall like sir I’m literally getting strong armed, and he can’t see why people want dan out I could make a move rn But should I even I probably shouldn’t If they try to get kendall I will flip it on him 

don’t know what to do I’m pleading so hard with jakey rn like hey it’s not good for me to go into merge with 6 brawn 4 beauty (dysfunctional) and 3 brain (dysfunctional) And I said I want to do dan is that okay like jakey u need to choose a side, brawns, or this tribe And he goes If u decide to do dan Then I’m gonna unite dan and Scott and Devon and vote kendall So if that’s the case, I’m sending u home theres no way around it then

Throw back to last night when I hung up on jakey to call Augusto and told jakey that I was taking a shower but literally I was gone for an hour and needed an excuse fast so I told him i shaved my ass call that strategic ass shaking 

Okay so this tribal. Everyone on my tribe thinks jakey is evil and he’s just going to go back to the brawn tribe, which is like, wtf, he literally voted in minority on purpose and gave us leverage on him. Like he literally has put himself on the line multiple times. He ratted out the brawn majority over and over. Like jakey is not loyal to the brawns on the other side at all. The people on this tribe don’t give a shit and my opinion isn’t being heard at all, Kendall won’t budge and Augusto won’t budge, and Scott wants to keep devon. Can I just say scott is a rat, he is playing every single person. Jakey trusted him soooo much . Anyway, everyone wants jakey out for literallt no reason and jakey trusts me 100% and jakey is the best way to get info from the brawns on the other side. Anyway, KDJDKSN KDNDKD we are getting dirty. Jakey has an idol. And I told him he was the vote and I made it sound like it’s all Scott’s decision cuz I’m really tight with Kendall and Augusto, so now, jakey wants to idol out Scott Basically, it’s time for a cluster fuck and it’s time for chaos So at merge jakey and I will play from Opposite sides

so jakey fking tried to flip the vote and he blew up the 5 person alliance to devon and hes fucking up my game so much nkwejfnkew god maybe i will try and get him out at merge even tho i love him, i basically had to ccreate this narrative that jakey thinks that me jakey scott and devon are voting kendall but jakey is actually voting out scott jesus christ thi round gave me a migraine i have a case of the lie-abetes

I- there's nothing else to say hahaha the boys don't even talk game. So when I know something y'all will know something

People are paranoid as hell about a merge. What is there to be paranoid about, honestly? I've just tried to come into this game and have a good time and I think I've achieved that. No one is really looking at me as a threat right now, and there's still plenty of time left to play.

okay so i filmed a video confessional earlier which i will upload but adam just woke me up to the fact that we might be merging tonight?! which is so exciting and kinda crazy.... and the days line up with montenegro for us to be merging... at merge i think all my "laying low" can finally be for something and i can transition the bonds i've been making into making stuff happen. i've also been hosting a game during these quarantine times and i've realised people that do too much making SUCH deep bonds during the early stages become the people the jury is mad at in the endgame. i feel like im the middle ground, people feel close to me (and I would like to think I've come across as likable) without everyone thinking im their soul sister closest ally. at merge i think my "close" people who i can somewhat rely on are: autumn, jake, dan(?), jordan(?) and adam? like i have a core of people with various connections, which gives me some cover. its just about then feeling out the rest and seeing who i can trust amongst the rest... particularly the unknowns of augusto/kendall/scott/amir (assuming they are all at merge). like that is going to be the most important part of the merge stage for me, is figuring out which of them i can trust (and i do think dan and/or jake's opinions can help with this, because brainstorming with autumn helped me figuring out this hathor swap tribe).

i'm excited for merge... i do think i have early juror written all over me but i am also very excited. its time to emerge from the shadows and stumble my way into the light

live fast die young merge boots do it well. i literally am a clown, i got excited by my guess going so well and now i literally am a target the size of the sun exclusively because of my own actions what was i thinking KJASDFA honestly at this point? i embrace it, i push the 'im a shield' narrative and i trot on my little trotters to being mayor of ponderosa. this season i chopped of my own head so will not be the winner and the king, but hopefully i can be a kingmaker? also if me winning the tiebreak sends jake home i literally will be so unspeakably frustrated with myself i will literally... scream. HE PROBS HATES ME. i'm praying he lives i will feel so bad if he doesnt KLASDF

i literally... can not believe i am so stupid my lack of braincells really boggles my mind

So I was really hoping that we would win this challenge today because I like everyone on this tribe. But of course with my luck in this game, we lose AGAIN. And it's a shame because I like the Thots Alliance and i feel bad voting out Devon. I know he's someone who trusts me and although I don't 100% trust him, I know that he's someone I can depend on. Plus he makes a really good goat at the end, so it'll make winning more of an obstacle for me without him there. To my surprise however, Kendall and Augusto approach me with the idea of voting out Jakey. I really like Jakey and I practically see him as my #1 here, so voting him out would be difficult for me to do as well. We've discussed the idol together, he gave me his CBS all access account info to watch the finale, and hes one of the very few smart people in this game. So on a personal level, this is a hard decision to make. However, from a game perspective, it might be the right call. Jakey's setting himself up to be a swing vote at the merge, and the fact that he campaigned for Dan to stay and was adamant on not voting him out shows that. When it comes to Devon and I, I would prefer to not vote Devon out but if I needed to in order to show that I trust an alliance moving forward I would. So the fact that Jakey doesn't see it like that is alarming to me. In addition to that, I know that Jakey has lied to me multiple times in this game. He purposefully gave me the wrong idol clue for one of the matches, and when I called him out on it he bluffed it up. On top of that, I know for a fact that he voted for Kendall during the AJ vote. And the fact that he's trying to play it off on Devon goes to show the lengths he would go to make sure he controls everything. And on top of that, he wants us all to tell Devon straight up that he's going. Like... did he not learn from my story when I tried to do that? It can't happen. From a game perspective, voting out Jakey is the more logical choice to make. He can navigate better in a group of people and is aware of whats going on. Devon on the other hand, doesn't even know where the idol is or how to look for it. Devon is someone who you can take into a merge and know what he's going to do. Jakey is more unpredictable. And I wouldn't be surprised if he tried to rally up troops to blindside me when that time came. From a personal perspective, I prefer that Devon goes just because of the lack of trust between us and the fact that I don't ever see myself fully trusting him. Sadly I have to lose this battle in order to win the war at the end. So I'm going to vote Jakey out tonight and really hope that it doesn't come to bite me in the but or that he doesn't play his idol (i know he has one, its obvious with how paranoid he's been)

Guess I’m gonna cry because we lost… by a tiebreaker… it was sad. I feel especially awful because had I not made the mistake of repeating a name on my list during my 8th guess, we could’ve very well have won… but no one needs to know that! It just blows because going into a potential merge in a 7-5 scenario is NOT it. Plus like, their only vote was a unanimous vote for Connor which like… love Connor, but a rock could vote Connor out. I wanted to see tension, I wanted to see idols played, I wanted to see hands thrown, I wanted to see lines drawn, and I wanted to see messiness but all I ended up seeing? Disappointment. I hate it here deadass (‘:

Aside from being kinda sad we lost, I do feel super secure. Last round, I wanted Dan to leave to get rid of Brawn numbers and have the best chance to get Jakey out and now I have that! I know Amir is on the fence but I know Kendall and Devon would be all for it (Scott is as well, but I didn’t really know how much he’d be about it until this round) so it needs to happen. While I adore Jakey as a person and we’ve connected a lot, our strategic games don’t align at all since he doesn’t tell me much of anything? Most of his info goes to Amir or Scott and I’m being selfish here but I want all the tea (‘: plus him playing double agent with the Brawns at merge is not what I need if we’re going into the merge with not enough numbers. Not only that but Adam is a wildcard in terms of if he’ll work with me or not but Jakey being there with us makes it so Adam wouldn’t want to so there’s that. Girl… i sound like a whole ass gamebot wtf ghfdjnms

It’s so weird like I am extremely proud of the game I am playing but I still feel inadequate as a player? I know I shouldn’t compare myself to others because I’m ME but my two closest allies (Kendall, Amir) are playing so much better? Amir is able to get all the tea in the world and form those important game connections which I don’t feel like I can yknow? With Kendall, she is just so bold (and beautiful) with her gameplay in a way I could never like she doesn’t mind being the secondary target, she talks to everyone and talks game with everyone, and stuff like that. So in a way, I’m probably not a major threat to people because those two icons are here BUT I also don’t know if that’ll make me seen like a non-factor… that’s just how I feel going into merge and it’s kinda mehhh idk ;-;

MERGE IS COMING. TOnight actually, people are speculating, but im the only one with the certainty that its tonight and im feeling wonderful. I think if I play my cards right Im gonna have a lot of options come merge. God pending Kendall does not die tonight (hopefully her beauties keep her alive) im gonna suggest we secret pair beware this shit and tsart working from opposite sides to keep each other safe. That will allow me to pick of people Im not working with, while hopefully ensure that people im not with who are with her will be detered from targeting me. Thats my plan but who knows what the true dynamics of merge will be. Ive been playing quiet so far but im about to become the star of teh show, my ego just cant take it.

i really feel like by getting a five i got jake voted out and i want to scream i literally am gonna be out for blood if he goes

[uniformbravo]

animorphs liveblogs, this time a marco book so u already know it’s gonna be a party am i Right boys,,,,,

---

i read so much goddamn animorphs today and update: marco is, once again, ruining my life,

this is actually one of the very few books i personally own (out of two to be precise) so i am. Somewhat familiar. vaguely. let’s fuckin.,.., Do this

-

[from the back cover of the book]

But Marco's personal stress is causing him to morph into creatures that don't exist.

“marco’s personal stress” this should be...... fun

-

My name is Marco. But you can call me "Marco the Mighty." Or "Most Exalted Destroyer of My Pride." You can cower before my mighty thumbs and beg for mercy, but you'll be crushed just the same. For I am the lord of the PlayStation. Pick a game. Any game. Tekken. Duke Nukem. NFL Blitz. Whatever. Practice all you want. I'll still beat you. I'll crush you like Doc Martens crush ants. I'll -

i hate him. ia hhate him so mugjfn

-

"I was just watching his show -" Rachel cut me off. "You were watching William Roger Tennant? Marco looking for advice? On what? Coping with shortness?" "I was just channel surfing," I yelled. "That's not the point!

hklJKDJ GOD

-

<This bites,> I said. <Why did we get stuck with the Saturday morning shift? I should be asleep right now. Or watching The Powerpuff Girls.>

Confirmed

-

<You know why you're here,> Cassie replied. <You switched with Jake so you could watch the South Park marathon last night.> <Yeah, but that was before I knew about The Powerpuff Girls marathon,> I grumbled.

SUPER CONFIRMED

-

<Something bothering you, Marco?> Cassie asked. <No, absolutely not.>

jdkdjdsf the avoidance tactics

-

And then there’s Euclid.> <Her toy poodle.> <Satan with a perm. Simple commands like "sit," "stay," "heel" all mean the same thing to this dog: Bark at Marco. Jump on Marco. Bite Marco's ankle.>

ffuckign Good Dog

-

For forty-five minutes we followed William Roger Tennant up the beach and then back to the compound. For forty-five minutes I vented. Cassie may or may not have listened. Every once in a while, she said <”uh-huh”> or <”bummer.”> By the time Tennant walked back through the gate of the compound, I felt a little better.

ok but i just love this so much like. ive mentioned before how i love cassie and marco and this is just so Good this is a Good Scene

-

The first thing to change was my head. It began to shrink. From normal size to the size of a cantaloupe. To grapefruit. To orange. To just slightly bigger than a cherry tomato. <Oh, that's a nice look,> Rachel said. <Now your head finally matches the size of your brain.>

all i want is an animorphs spin off series thats just 100% rachel’s burns on marco they give me so much life

also all i can think about is this pic gkdjlfksdlfkdj

-

ok so this book is rly fun, basically it’s like everyone is super fucked up from this war but marco in particular is so super duper fucked rn he’s reached another plane of fucked he’s on a higher tier of emotional distress and it’s messing with his ability to morph, he’s so spectacularly damaged that he’s experiencing it in new and unprecedented ways he’s fucking evolving he’s ascending

-

"Cassie?" "Hi. Can I come in?" She didn't wait for me to answer but just sort of pushed her way past me. I followed her back to the living room. She turned off the TV and looked expectantly at me. - "You have something to tell me?" "No." "So why are you here?" "I'm here to listen to you." I laughed. "What, are you a shrink now?" She shrugged. "You said it yourself: We can't exactly go to see counselors, can we?"  "Look, I'm fine." "No, you're not," she said. "Jake bought it, Rachel bought it, but I didn't. Something went wrong. I heard it in your thought-speak. You blew another morph." I sat down. I was sure I'd covered. I was sure. But of course this was Cassie. Cassie who knows what people are feeling about five minutes before they do. "Did you tell Jake?" "No. And I won't." "Why not? What happened to it being everyone's concern?" "Because I want you to know you can trust me. You know, enough to talk to."

god like??? their relationship is just So Good i love that cassie is the one to reach out to marco so consistently and genuinely, the only one to offer that kind of support, because he shoves all his pain away and hides it from everyone else but she sees his truth, insightful cassie, and then actually sets out to do something about it 

because let’s not forget jake, who knows every member of his team inside out and Absolutely knows when marco is having problems, but isn’t the same person as cassie. cassie, who worries for her friends. cassie, who wants to help in any way she can. jake sees an issue like this and analyzes its contribution or detriment in relation to a mission, decides whether it’s worth looking into, and acts accordingly. he simply does whatever is necessary to reach the goal. he doesn’t have the time or energy to go chasing after every member of his team every time they break down, because they’re all broken and they all deal with it differently, and that’s really what it comes down to for him: they deal with it. get it done, and deal with it. no time for anything else, just let everyone fix themselves as they do, and move on to the next thing.

which is such an interesting parallel to cassie’s way of dealing with these things. cassie the empathetic healer, who speaks her mind and confronts the issues everyone else glosses over. it’s such a breath of fresh air to see her enter into the situation with pure intention, to fix, to help. these books give such a feeling of loneliness sometimes, spinning tales of personal conflict and avoidance and silent suffering, especially in the case of marco, who deliberately masks his pain with laughter, pain’s polar opposite. cassie is a force of companionship, of understanding in a place where it’s desperately needed, and i think it’s really refreshing, given everything else that happens constantly around her. it’s just really nice, is all i’m saying

-

She ignored my weak attempt at a joke. "And then we found out your mom was still alive. Only she wasn't your mom anymore. Her body had been taken over by a Yeerk. And she was the enemy. Marco, in the space of a few awful months you've gone from believing your mother is dead to almost literally having to try and destroy her." "And you think maybe that's stressful?" I deadpanned. "I think it would have crushed most people," she said. "That mission against her and Visser Three, you were setting her up to take a fall. You were intimately involved with leading Visser One, your mother, into a trap that -" "Shut up! Shut up!" I jerked up off the couch. I had my hands over my ears. Stupid. I took my hands down. They were trembling. "Look, Cassie ..." I started to say with exaggerated calm. But then I forgot what I wanted to say. I could see her. On that mountaintop. Her sudden realization that it was me who had brought her there. Marco. Me. Her son. Her host's son. Not some ruthless Andalite warrior but her own son . . . Visser Three's troops and ships closing in. The cliff giving way. Falling. And later, Rachel had come to me and said that her body could not be found. That maybe she was still alive. And Rachel had understood that she wasn't doing me any favors because it was so much better to know, to know for sure anything, even to know something terrible as long as the torture of uncertainty was over. . . . "What did I do?" I whispered.

im in immediate pain i dont want this get this away from me remove this from my life in the present year of 2016*

he didnt even realize until now, he didn’t even put this together until now he was so focused on every other aspect of the situation that he didn’t even think about anything other than the fact that it was entirely his fault that his mother was possibly dead, he just had too many other things clouding his mind to realize that oh shit if she’s still alive we’re all kind of fucked

he’s usually so conscious of things like that at all times but this particular event fucked him up so good it blocked his perceptiveness, he probably didn’t want to think about it he probably pushed it out of his mind as much as possible so whenever it did manage to surface the only thing he felt was guilt and pain, as in the emotional response rather than the tactical thinking

he doesn’t realize until right now, when cassie confronts him and forces him to think about it, what the facts strung together actually mean for them, five books later this is happening i’m gone knock me tf out

-

"Nora and I have been talking about getting married, Marco. But we won't do it without your okay." "Yeah? And what if it's not okay?" I said. I could hardly hear my own voice. He sighed. His eyes turned vacant, distant. The way they'd looked for a large part of the past two years. I hadn't missed that look. I hadn't missed it at all. "Marco, we're a team, you and I. We've been through a lot together. If you say no, I'll accept that." Fine. So it was on me. Great. Typical. Yeah, why not? I'll decide if my dad is happy or not, if my mom is still my mom. I'll decide if she lives or if she dies so that I, the Great Marco, the great cold-blooded Marco can prove how tough I am by leading her into a trap, setting her up ... I felt pain. I was digging my fingernails into the side of my head. I was going to explode. Some artery in my head was going to blow apart. It was too much. Way too much. "I'm out of here," I said. I got up and ran for the door.

re: those last few lines: live footage of me reacting to this entire passage,

-

[context: marco messed up a morph in the middle of a mission & is now lost in a half poodle half polar bear morph]

<Come on, Marco,> Cassie encouraged. <It's going to be okay. Remember the mission?> The mission? I poked Tennant's huddled body with my paw. Watched him shrink and shudder. <What's going on, Marco?> Cassie said soothingly. <Talk to me. We're your friends. Talk to us, talk to me and-> <Talk my butt,> Jake snapped. <Marco. Cope. Now. That's an order.> It was like a bucket of ice water dumped on my head. It was like waking up from an intense dream. Fast. Painful. Slowly my mind grasped control. <Jake, he's going through some bad stuff in his life,> Cassie said. <He's stressed. His dad is-> <Cassie, you know I love you and admire you, but be quiet,> Jake said. <You listen to me, Marco. We have zero time for your self-pity. I don't care what your problems are. You deal with this, right now.> I started to shrink. My body deflated like a balloon with a pin-hole. My head, shrinking. Becoming a normal poodle head. <That's not exactly enlightened behavior, Jake,> Cassie shot back, obviously angry. <lf he's having stress-> <Cassie, he's not you, he's not Rachel, he's not even me. He's Marco,> Jake said. <What he needs is to pull his head out of his rear end and remember what he always says.> What I always say? What was he talking about? Jake said, <Life is either tragedy or comedy. Usually it's your choice. You can whine or you can laugh.> I laughed. Laughed in recognition. Oh, yeah. I do say that. I was completely poodle.

Oh How The Turntables Holy Shit

like is it just me or is this super fucked up for jake to do oh my god?? humor is marco’s defense mechanism he uses to ignore his terrible realities and bottle everything up and hide it all away and it’s super unhealthy and cassie recognizes that, so she tries to help him by showing empathy and encouraging him to open up

jake also knows this about marco and and instead uses it to put him back on track on a mission like instead of saying “you can’t bottle up your emotions like this it’s not healthy and it’s obviously causing major problems” he’s like “you better bottle that shit up right this fucking instant or so help me god”

and the thing is it fucking works, marco snaps right out of it like “oh yeah bottling up my emotions why didn’t i think of that lol” and the whole thing just kind of strikes me as Super Fucked Up???? wow

i absolutely love it tho like dont get me wrong im not trying to demonize jake or w/e- it’s just another example of that brutal realism you get with this series because it feels like there should have been some kind of moral lesson about friendship and emotional support at the end of this, like it should have been cassie who managed to get through to marco by being there for him in such a critical moment, but it’s not. the thing that puts him back on track is literally the opposite of that, it’s jake basically telling him that his emotions are a waste of everyone’s time and that he needs to shove them aside just like he always does because it’s worked in the past and it needs to work Right The Fuck Now- it’s the invalidation of marco’s emotions that finally manages to pull him back to where he can essentially “function” properly again, as far as morphing goes

god and this is the shit that always gets me, why i love these books so much, like not to get all Edgy or anything but it’s that brutal reality of a fucked up situation, where there is no moral at the end, the serious issues aren’t getting resolved, the characters are fighting amongst themselves and damaging each other in the process it’s just?? so???? it’s so fucking Good like God i just

i cannot even describe how much i love this series, i just

i really love animorphs, okay,

god

-

I was coming home from school when I heard the phone ring. It rings more often now with Nora around because she gets calls from parents asking why their kids are flunking math. I decided not to answer. Let the machine get it. And then, I heard her voice. "Marco, if you're there, pick up." My mother.

wHAT KIND OF ENDING IS THIS IM SCREECHING IN THE MOONLIGHT GOOOODDDDDD Hhe was about to move on, this book was ending in all this acceptance and starting anew shit and now ur pulling a fast one on me like this ummMMMMM??? UMMMMMMMMMMM?M???? BY E

-

((lmao retroactive 2 years later bullet point add, @ visser one what the fuck this was so risky what if marco’s dad was home??? what if the three of them were all sitting around the dinner table having a meal and ur damn Mom Voice starts projecting across the entire living room uhh??? hello?????? i kno ur deal is that ur literally in space jail abt to be convicted for space crimes or w/e but i stg at least do a batman????? or pull an accent or S ometh ign jesus christ. smh))

---

*lol

[survivor-kalymnos]

Ep. 9 - “im running on borrowed time”- Franco

Michele

I would love to see a full list of who everyone voted for. Its VERY fishy and a complete blindside. Makes me feel worse about disadvantage next round

lenny

Right when cranjes becomes my ally, they get kicked off. lol. what is happening in this tribe rn? I want to get to the bottom of it.

michele

ive never felt more alone in this game. people clearly lied to me.

lenny

according to dusty, Franco and Eliza flipped for the split vote. yuck! what to do now? I don't know. I think if I have any chance of getting Eliza or Michele out, I have to make a new alliance. 

lenny

Dusty just said that her franco rain and worm were the ones to flip and that makes me very anxious and I don't know if I can trust rain fully :/ that makes me sad. I really hope I can. 

lenny

so michele and I are talking which is v heartwarming. I apologized for being cold towards her. I hope we can work together. 

Dusty

Well that was messed up LMAO That’s the second time Eliza has flipped on me and taken out my closest ally...anyway I will not be working with her anymore. But I’m gonna make her believe it. And thank you to my amazing acting skills she gave me her half of the super idol..........ma’am. I’m so sorry. She expects me to give it back to her after this round but Idk if I can do that if she isn’t in the game anymore! She also told me that it was her and Franco that flipped with rain and worm. So now I’m trying to work with Lenny and Michele who seem to be on board, and it seems like I’ll also have to working with frank and Sasha. And with this blind round there’s a fear of voting for someone that won immunity buuut at least I have a 10% advantage to help me out :) Wish me luck!

michele

kinda blew up a little so gonna lay low for strategy. i also sometimes take things too personally which is why i only do like 1 org a year so that last tribal got to me a lot. franco messaged me saying he doesnt trust me and even tho his instincts are completely correct idk it just feels weird. i think i just hate general confrontation 

Frank

So I’m shocked Cranjes left but I’m quite happy about it. He was leading a lot of things so to have him go is wonderful. After tribal, Michele approached me about getting out Eliza or Franco, so we stan that. Once one of them is gone though the other needs to be taken out as well since they’re both strong and we don’t need one of the having a story of, oh my partner got out but I still made it through so much. After that get rid of Dusty and then Lenny at some point bc who. I’m fairly quiet but Lenny is practically a ghost. Right now the only person I actually trust though is Sasha, which is not something I thought I would say but here we are.

Franco

Blind rounds are so SCARY. Mainly the part about no one knowing who wins immunity. Like, we got out 2 idols last round by blindsiding Cranjes and flushing Frank's, but theres still more out there. And no one is going to know how tribal is going to play out Michele was kinda pissed at us for leaving her out of the vote. But? Sis left us out of her alliance with og Plati, and didnt give us ANY information last round despite knowing I was a target. Eliza is also.... Kinda not smart. She gave her half of the idol to Dusty because she wanted to reconcile. Which is nice and all! But thats a direct chance for him to get back at us and take a shot at us. Keeping the idol separate was best for everyone. So I just gotta pray Eliza knows Dusty as well as she says she does!! I dont expect to win this challenge. Im gonna chat around, but I think Im going to have to play my idol this round to save my skin. My name has been thrown around 2 rounds in a row, im running on borrowed time. We'll see how today goes!

Frank

So Franco messaged me about if I’m gonna vote him this round and that he doesn’t understand why I’m going after him. So I did the kind thing and explained it and said that I don’t want to work with him because he’s working with everyone and that I don’t see that as being beneficial to my game. So Franco is my target again and michele messaged me last night to get rid of him so we stan. I’m probably gonna get votes but who could be shocked by that.

Franco

surprise!! my name is going around AGAIN!! i'm so. not shocked. Frank has it out for my for some reason?? I confronted him this morning, let him know his """allies""" are throwing him under the bus and offered to exchange information or work together in some capacity but he literally turned it down. first rule of survivor is never shut down lines of communication like that!! he is denying any chance of game relationship we could have and thats such bad gameplay. I bombed the challenge because I'm dumb. And now that I know my name is circulating I'm going to have to play my idol. I just have to hope that whatever happens is good for my game. It's so hard to orchestrate votes during an invisible round, everyone is playing strictly for themselves because there's no reason not to. I really really finally want Frank gone. This is the THIRD ROUND in a row I've said that. but seriously I'm over him. he's gotta GO.

Eliza

Dear diary... Literally can’t believe we pulled that blindside off! I had to do some damage control with dusty and because I know what kind of player he is I gave him my half of the super idol. I told him I’d give it to him for this round to prove that the cranjes vote had nothing to do with him and that he is still someone I want to work with. He seemed shocked but obviously took the security and I think I have at least some of his trust back, I mean this IS the second time I blindsided him and voted out his closest ally. Now I know you’re probably thinking, ellie you’re a dumbass, and that I am but I know how dusty works at this point in the game and it’s gonna take a bold move like that one to get ANY of his trust back. Franco didn’t think it was the best move but I can’t just play according to Franco’s standards. The invisible round is absolutely terrifying, everyone agrees that it’s frank but we all know that he could 100% win this challenge. Obviously everyone with a brain wants to split but some of these people won’t wanna split again after they got out smarted, Franco might be playing his idol because we all know frank wants him out but frank has also said I need to go and I have absolutely no security rn so yeah, I’m fucking scared. Let’s see what happens!

Rain

So... I haven’t been around much today. I abstained from immunity. My depression is kicking in and even tho I’m doing well in the game, I can’t be bothered to get into it, as much as I want to. So I’ll ride Franco and Eliza’s coattails until either I pull out of this funk or I get voted out. The move tonight is to try to get frank. Except he’s kinda good at challenges (although, tbh, hasn’t been that great since returning - maybe the idol was holding him back?) so we think he may get immunity. I think voting Sasha would be better - like come on, I don’t even think he’s trying (is that hypocritical to say?) and he only talks to his allies. The other side (oh is it just dusty, Sasha, and frank now? Fuckin sweet) doesn’t even attempt to socialize with me. Dusty to some extent, but talking to Sasha and frank is like talking to a fucking wall. I’ll be happy if either of them go. But tbh at this point I’m ready to join the jury. I’m going to keep playing and keep trying because that’s what jay and the people I’ve voted out deserve to see, but whenever I go home, I know I played a good game for my first game in over a year. 

lenny

not feeling confident about this challenge or good in general. Rain is most likely working with franco and eliza. I hope I can trust dusty. oof

Worm

So last round seemed to have back fired. I think I have alienated myself even more but I'm not sure if saying people not talking to me is showing that. They weren't talking to me before anyway so I guess nothing really changed then lol They goal this round is to target Frank which is okay with me cause I think people will start going after bigger targets next round like Eliza and Franco. Michele seems really mad at me which i can't fault her for so my goal if I survive this round is to talk to her and get her back on my side. Maybe reuniting the alliance of dusty, her, and I could make a huge impact. This challenge is really difficult so I don't think I had any chance of winning. I kinda hope I do for just in case reasons. If I being told the truth and everyone is targeting Frank then it should happen pretty easily. His idol got flushed last round so it should be simple to get rid of him. But until those votes are read I do believe that I will be the one going home.

Frank

Watch Franco have an idol and I go home. That would be funny, tbh I guess it just would be. But oh boy I am gonna get myself a nice snack if Franco goes...although let's be real I'm gonna have a nice snack no matter what. But I just want to stay and have Franco or Eliza leave since that would benefit my game to an extreme since they KEEP TRYING TO VOTE ME OUT. Or at least saying my name which is enough for me. Like if you say my name, get out!

rain

Tribal is in a few minutes, and I’ve just had an emotional chat with Franco He is truly an incredible ally and I really look forward to being in the reunion w him and finding out who he is irl (although I have a guess) Anyway, I just wanted to give him some positive edit, because I’m sure he’s very N as the villain of the game :P 

Dusty

This is crazy idek if I won immunity or what’s happening I changed my vote like 3 times LMAO i voted for Eliza I don’t know what’s happening i think I’m freaking out for no reason. My only fear is michele being very quiet. 

michele

being quiet worked i guess. wasnt really a game move but i didnt get voted out so yay

Sasha

I really just gave up on trying to have my own strategy/game and just voted how people told me to huh

Eliza

Dear diary... It was a tie between me and frank, this might be the last time I write in confessions but hopefully I was able to make some sort of impact in the game. Wow this sucks

Dusty

jflkdsaiof okay a tie well michele being quiet all day meant that she didnt get the chance to know the vote was for eliza... which just made me think someone decided to not flip against eliza/franco so in the revote i reached out to worm and rain to try and get them to flip which they both denied. ugh im so stupid, they would know regardless that i flipped, but now it seems like i was soooo adamant about her going... oh well. Franco is going to be pissed anyway

[survivingjapan]

EPISODE 4 “The World Doesn't Revolve Around Jaiden Hantz” Jaiden

I voted for Jonathan because I thought that's what people were doing. Ashley went home.... Jonathan called out Alex after tribal who is my ONLY ally in this game.... I did the duel and lost so now we have to go straight back to tribal after a fucked up messy vote........ do i want to be alive???????

NGRJKDLANVJKADFLNJVKAVFDNAJNVADNVJ;ANEFUBNVAUDBNFJBNAVJKBNDAVJADSNBJVADSVNJKLADVNS I CAN'T BELIEVE I WON LMFAO SHOUTOUT TO MY ROOMMATE FOR HEARING ME BE THE RUDEST I'VE EVER BEEN TO HIM! I'M SORRY RYAN! SHOUTOUT TO Ruthie/Kendall/Alex/Drew (whichever one I decided upon) for saving your life in this game an extra round. I was about to vote you out, but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. Tbh I was kinda looking forward to losing this round and dedicating tonight to plotting someone's life being destroyed, but I guess winning is okay too. Now my tribe likely won't vote me out because I saved their asses because everyone was fucking PRAISING Ashton for winning last time, so now I guess I'm in the same boat, but he did his for 5 hours and I did mine for 12 minutes, but oh well. Sorry Richie, I hope you don't go home because you gave it your all! I also totally probably wouldn't have won that duel if it wasn't Survivor Trivia considering it's one of the only things in life I'm actually good at. Time to get high now :)

Why haven't they exiled Jaiden, who says that the reason the word "SOMEONE" was capitalized was because it had to be a fat person. Jaiden ur dumb bye

So after Brian was rescued and Pat sent home, I knew I might have put myself out there a little far.....so knowing that we're going to tribal again, I want to pull back the reigns and slide back into the shadows.

The three names that are coming up most often are Jonathan, Ashley, and Kage. Jonathan's name seemed the most rampant in the earlier part of the round until he came online to form a power alliance between himself, Sarah, Brian, Tommy, Junior, Jaiden, and myself. This changed the minds of the people in the alliance to targeting Ashley instead (given that she was semi-inact and on the outer)

Side-Note: Brian, Sarah, and I have an alliance so it works perfectly for us to camouflage.

And Kage, oh silly Kage, thinking that Ashley was somehow the right person to go after for his game....basically campaigned against her too despite her campaigning against Jonathan, thus helping both of them. Classic Kage.

Anyways. I was going to tell Alex about it considering I still had allegiance to him (as Junior did to Linus and Richie), but then I come to find out that he was co-leading an alliance with Kage that included the two of them, Tommy, Linus, and Ashley. Tommy claimed it had been made the first round and had halfway dissolved but thought I should know since we are so "close" and since they flipped on him in the first vote...

Now, although I'm not sure I believe it entirely yet, I didn't tell Alex about the vote going against Ashley because A) I kinda thought he knew B) In the case that Tommy is telling the truth, I don't want to be the idiot that caused a correct idol play to occur and have Jonathan go home. I can mend my bridge with Alex despite what the truth is, but I can't mend the bridge with my alliance if I were the reason one of them went home.

So although Ashley seemed like a gem, she had to go....now let's hope I can stay in the safe-zone and stay alive at our next tribal...

Kage is such a sweet guy and I know he means no harm but girl... you're going home.  It was inevitable that his target was going to be front and center and it seems like this round is his unless he pulls out an idol.  I do think that he would vote another direction, say Richie or Jonathan, but I'm not 100% sure.  He thinks it would be iconic if we went from enemies to allies, as do I, but I'm not sure if that's in my best interest.

I told Richie a lot of stuff this round so far because I want him to trust me.  We didn't have any layer of trust built up yet, so I needed to do that quick, and I think I have successfully done that.

Also, Jonathan tried to pull a big move and mentioned maybe actually targeting Richie like Kage suggested to him, but I shut that shit down real quick.  I don't think it's a good move to save someone who we could work with in the future and is trustworthy as of yet compared to someone who is a complete mess and has thrown so many names out there to be targeted. So all-in-all, I'm not playing a huge game, but I do want to toot my own horn and say that I think I'm playing this game much better now. ^~^

so yeah voted in minority and lost duel but today brian tells me that people have been saying my name for this vote so i turned up my social game and have been talking to people all day and then now tommy just confronted me saying that ashley told tommy that i told ashley that tommy was voting for ashley last night... which is complete bullshit because i didnt tell ashley shit and i was the only person to not vote her out so why the fuck would i be throwing shit around and why would she be throwing me under the bus when i was the only person on her side??? but then tommy told me that ashley told him that alex told ashley that i told alex that tommy was voting ashley... which i DID tell alex that tommy was voting ashley so thats possibly true but of course i told tommy i didnt say shit lmao and then tommy was trying to be like "so alex is the one trying to stir shit?" and i know i need to save myself but i cant throw alex under the bus to save myself because hes the only person in this game that i trust even though his stupid ass dumb fucking mouth got me in trouble in the first place but if he leaves then i'm alone and fucked anyway and i just hate everyone.....

i've been on a bit of a campaign trail trying to talk about the fact that its heroes vs villains and the hosts are going to play up the theme and keep the tribes this way for a while without a swap so keep me around because im an asset in challenges i made the flag i particiapted in the scavenger hunt and i stepped up for the duel( even though i floppped) and that im alone in the game so use me as a number im out of the loop strategically so just keep me around.... idk whats going to happen

i hope and feel like im good with brian alex junior and jaiden + myself thats 5 people and majority is 6 so if i can figure out a way to defuse and deescalate the situation and maybe just make people like me enough they dont want to vote me out i'll be able to stick around but i dont have high hopes because this tribe is a fucking mess where one name gets thrown out then everyone jumps on it and waffles back and forth for hours on what to do until its the last second and they just decide to go with the most prominent name so they keep themselves safe this is the most usless group of people ive ever seen but wish me luck!

Okay, so because Queen Jonathan wants to vote out Alex, we're apparently voting Alex out?  I don't really like this.  I really don't.  I don't have a strong relationship with Alex, but I also just don't see the necessity to make this tribe look messier and messier.  It outs a big alliance, shows Kage and Richie they're on the bottom... like... why?  And it also outs Linus as a solo man.  I really just am scared.  This move seems like too much too soon.  I don't like it.

What I told Jaiden: >>Okay my issue with this big move against Alex is not anything to do with like Alex.  I don't have a good relationship with him at all bc we don't really click, so I don't care if we send him out the door, but we're not only putting Richie, Kage, and Linus on the outs if this move works, it's outing a now obvious group.  If we just vote Kage, it's a united front.  Kage isn't going to help us and although Alex and Richie might flip in the future anyway, we're villains for a reason.  And Jonathan pushing his agenda is not making me feel any better.  I don't want to look back and be like, "Why did we let jonathan do whatever the fuck he wanted?"

Trying to figure out the game like

Also god bless Johnny and his Survivor knowledge

havent done of these in a while. so anyways, here's where i'm at. i've got a seven person alliance, i hate kage and alex, linus is suspect af, and i could probably get screwed tonight because i'm being really strategical.

tonight is the night i do NOT want to go home at, so i'm making a master plan to avoid that happening. i cracked a plan to rid this game of alex s forever, but i am almost certain that alex KNOWS about this plan and is coming for me hardcore. i blame crow or junior, maybe sarah. who knows, truly.

anyways... i told brian to vote for kage with me and hopefully richie. i'll talk to richie and be like hi pls make sure you vote for K A G E. this way, if alex has an idol, the votes at best go 3-2-1 (kage/me probs/richie) and at worst tie 3-3 (kage/me probs) and everyone else draws rocks... lmao

idk why i'm making this all about me, but the universe doesn't revolve around jaiden hantz for nothing. if i go home this fucking early after playing this fucking good... yikes.

HOWEVER: here is where the big risk comes in.

brian and i both have voted for kage. this could take the vote to 5-5-1 depending on where kage votes... which means rocks. LOL. i'm a messy bitch, this is why i'm on the villains tribe. i don't really care if we go to rocks tbh as long as its not me, brian, or tommy... because like i dont necessarily like anyone on this tribe all that much. even if it is me, that's a fucking ICONIC way to go and it's all my fault LOOOOOL. premerge king, tru!

IF this somehow happens to be the last confessional i ever write, at least i looked good writing it. i'm in such a cute position -- got people wrapped around my finger to the point where they went against their hatred of kage to do my bidding and get rid of alex. i am extremely close to people i came into this game HATING (junior and sarah for example), people i didn't even know (jonathan and brian), and people I needed to work with again (tommy and crow). not only that, but kage probably likes me. linus complimented me for being in a good position. alex... can choke idc what his opinion of me is, no offense alex!! (ur a nice guy and a good player, but GOD u intimidate the shit out of me and you have every reason to hate me). richie is aight, just quiet idk.

also, if i go home, this season was the ultimate testament to the player that i am. i take risks, big fucking risks. i have balls, and even though it's premerge, i'm not afraid to flex those muscles and pull some shit out of my ass to make things #happen. it's been fun yall! no bitterness from me here. unless i actually get voted out by the majority of the tribe, i'll rly scream then lmfao

15 minutes until tribal and im going to vomit... i feel a lot more safe now than i did earlier today but its been rough im SUCH a control freak like i want to always be in charge and know whats going on and be the one calling the shots and i know im not in that position so ive taken the back seat and turned up my social game and let everyone else do the work to save me so i wasnt putting myself in the front of the plans where it could come back on me and if it doesnt work out then im never going to forgive myself for not doing more to save myself but if i'm still here then im going to make sure that things change i'm ready to slit some metaphorical throats

*chicken voice* DAMN. I played myself! I'm like, not surprised that I went out premerge...for the fourth time... but to go out by rocks? iconic. inspiring.

other than the obvious sadness that comes with going home, i can't say that i'm really all that upset. i clearly came here to win and i was playing the type of game that could easily get me to that point, but i don't take back any of the moves i made this season... not even that one vote flip that happened. i really thought that alex had an idol! he was being really cocky last minute so i KNEW something was up... it's just disappointing to know that i couldn't have gone all the way with this this season.

my tumblr survivor story is such a mixed bag. i've had many, many failures. today is included. i didn't even make it to single digits this game, one of the most simple goals i set out for me to achieve on this attempt. while we can look at my records, my terrible placements, and all of that garbage, there is absolutely nothing that compares to the gameplay that went into this season to make things happen for me.

for once, i can say that i was not voted out early. not one person put my name down on parchment tonight, not yesterday, and not last week. i have nothing bad to say about a single person i competed against on my tribe this season (except kage sometimes), and maybe they have nothing negative to say about me, either.

i played probably the best game i've ever played in tumblr survivor. i took control, but i still listened to everyone's concerns. i calmed my anxiety from causing me to lose control of the situation. not once did i personally attack a person this season (sad to admit that this is a record for me). but most of all... i'm walking out of here, eleven days later, a changed person. now i know that i have the ability to play well, the doors are wide open for me.

i leave japan with a considerable amount of lessons learned in such a short amount of time. i leave with the strongest friendships i've ever had, new and old. but most of all? i leave overwhelming proud of the change i set forth within myself. i came here a villain and i'd like to say i'm leaving a hero. nothing can take away from the experiences i've had in this milestone game... i am so happy i did this.

[carterthornton]

The Third Wave | Chapter Twenty Two: Roommates

        As Aiko's alarm sounded, shrieking and chanting, she clumsily rolled off her bed, her forehead impacting the floorboards with a hard thud. "Fuck!"

       "Aiko?" Yuko popped her head up, wondering just what caused her sister to exclaim in such a way. "Aiko...?" The giant metal woman got out of her sleeping bag and gently hopped over Maeve's empty air mattress, making sure she didn't shake the room. She then looped around Aiko's bed, poking her head out to get a better look at Aiko, who was lying in a heap on the floor and groaning quietly to herself. "Aiko!" She picked her sister up, shutting off the alarm as she did so. "Are you okay?"

       "Yup, I'm-... I'm fine..." Aiko held the palm of her hand against her forehead, taking a moment to realign her vision before moving around. "Argghh... I'm gonna get a goose-egg, aren't I?" Aiko looked over to Maeve's bed, noticing her absence. "Where's her majesty?"

       "I dunno," Yuko shrugged her shoulders as she laid face down on Aiko's bed. "She left without saying anything."

       "Maeve probably went down to get some grub. She's not big on small talk, or rather, talking with other people in general," Aiko sighed as she walked out into the hallway. "I'm gonna go the bathroom and have a shower, Yuko." Aiko turned to her left and drunkenly stumbled down the hall until she stopped at the bathroom door, then she twisted the knob, entering the washroom.

       "Ah!" A voice in the darkness yelped.

       "Ah!" Aiko screamed in response, falling onto her back and clutching her chest as she saw Maeve's pale face emerge from the shadows. "Maeve, what-? Why are the lights off?!"

       "That's how I do my makeup!" Maeve shouted back at her.

       "Why?!" Aiko stood up in a huff, no longer feeling drowsy like before.

       "I don't know, that's- that's just how I've done my makeup, okay?!" Maeve held a hand on her heart, calming herself down.

       "Jesus, you nearly gave me a heart attack..." Aiko bent over and placed her hands on her knees, bracing herself as she caught her breath. "A warning would've been nice, you know?"

       "Well, you should've knocked!" Maeve pouted, sticking out her jaw as she scoffed at Aiko.

       "Why would I knock on a bathroom door when the lights are-?!" Aiko stopped arguing and gave up on Maeve, who seemed to make every situation impossible. "Okay... never mind," Aiko grumbled as she strolled over to the shower, removing her pyjamas as she opened the sliding glass door.

       "W-wait!" Maeve stuttered as she pulled Aiko's top back down, shielding her eyes at the sight of Aiko's bare stomach. "What are you doing?"

       "Having a shower, why? You can do your makeup while I'm in there, can't you?" Aiko proposed as she pulled away from Maeve's grasp on her pyjama top, sliding out of her pants and tossing them to the side. "I always have a shower at six-thirty."

       "And I always do my makeup at six-thirty, by myself," Maeve rushed over to Aiko's pyjama pants and handed them to her, still looking away from Aiko's bare legs. "I don't want to see that!"

       "Maeve, we're both girls, and it's not like you're jumping in here with me..." Aiko's eye began to involuntarily twitch as she groaned at the realization of why Maeve was so jumpy with her. "Is this because-?"

       "Because you are a homosexual, yes..." Maeve nodded as she kept closing her eyes. "Carlo informed me of this."

       "That sonofa-..." Aiko balled her hand into a fist as she cursed Carlo's big mouth. "Maeve, I'm not trying to hit on you if that's what you're getting at, "Aiko shook her head as she stepped into the shower with her PJ's still on, removing them only after she closed the sliding door. "How's this? You won't see me behind this glass since it's all cloudy, and the steam will hide me even better."

       "I suppose that will work," Maeve replied, trying to empty her head as she began to fervently brush her hair. "So... what did your grandparents think of me at dinner last night?"

       "Um..." Aiko closed her eyes as she began to scrub shampoo into her raven hair. "They thought you were, err-... they thought you were nice."

       "I see..." Maeve's voice became soft and mouse-like as she thought back to how anxious she was at the dinner table. She could almost hear her father's words in her ear, 'Treat your hosts with the same respect you treat me with, young lady!'.

       "Oh, n-no! They really did like you! They were just taken aback a little by your politeness and your, err-... what's the word? Eloquence?" Aiko noticed Maeve's disappointment and forced a laugh, hoping to reassure her. "My grandparents aren't great with first impressions!"

       "And what of your cousin Ivy? What did she think of me?" Maeve wondered.

       "Ivy? She's um-... well, she thinks of everyone equally as sheep, b-but that's just her thing as a goth I guess. Ivy's not a first impression type of gal either!" Aiko fumbled her words a few times as she rearranged them in an order that didn't seem to harsh or too vague, but sadly it ended up just coming off as awkward and messy. "Uh... what's your favorite colour?"

       "What?" Maeve froze in place just as she was about to use her straightening iron. "Why ask me that-?"

       "Oh, just curious is all!" Aiko chuckled as she rinsed out her hair, grabbing a bottle of conditioner and squirting some of its white goo into her hand.

       "Purple," Maeve answered as she held the iron close to her hair, pausing for a moment before working up the nerve to ask Aiko. "What's yours?"

       "Hmm... dark red? Yeah, dark red, like the kind of red you'd see on chokecherries," Aiko described, trying to give Maeve a good picture of the colour she was referring to.

       "I've never had chokecherries before," Maeve remarked as she began to run the iron along her red locks.

       "What?! You've never had chokecherries before?" Aiko stood in the shower, stunned by Maeve's statement. "Your grandmother never made you chokecherry pie? That's like a Vancouver Island delicacy!"

       "Ah, well, my grandparents live in Scotland," A small grin spread across Maeve's face; she felt a lot more secure knowing she was capable of civil conversation with Aiko. Maeve had not had such a casual discussion with another girl her age in a very long time. "But when I visited, my grandmother would always make me caramel shortbread. I was twelve last I saw her, but she occasionally sends some of her baking to me in the mail."

       "Can you bake?" Aiko inquired, washing the conditioner out and ringing her hair.

       "No," Maeve sighed as she applied perfume, packing it away into a bag along with the rest of her toiletries. "I've never had the time to learn."

       "Seems like you don't have a whole lot of time on your hands," Aiko said as she reached around the shower door to grab a towel.

       "No..." Maeve set her hands on the bathroom counter for a moment, remaining motionless as she stared into the sink. "It feels like I could've done something more with-..." She stopped herself, grabbing her bag and walking out into the hall without batting an eye at Aiko, who stepped out of the shower in a towel. "I'll meet you downstairs for breakfast."

       "Alright..." Aiko nodded uneasily as she plugged in her hair dryer.

****

       "So, let me get this straight..." Ivy spoke in her usual monotone voice, raising a brow at Maeve, who sat next to her on the living room couch. "You're like... a dragon?"

       "I am no real dragon. I am a Mythical Beast Mark-user— the rarest Subclass of the Beast Class," Maeve announced with pride, keeping her chin up high in a posh manner. "My powers emulate what we humans believe fire-breathing dragons can do."

       "Cool," Ivy grinned as she thought of all the interesting things she could do with such a power. "So, where's your Mark? I wanna see it."

       "Um..." Maeve's face flushed red at the question, and she quickly turned to Aiko, who was placing textbooks into her backpack. "When are we leaving?"

       "Oh, no... is it somewhere lewd?!" Ivy snickered as she lifted Maeve's arm to check for her Mark, catching the fire-headed girl off guard in her embarrassment. "Lemme see!"

       "C'mon, Ives, leave her be!" Aiko scolded her cousin as she pried her off of Maeve, who was not used to dealing with a fourteen-year-old girl as invasive and in your face as Ivy. "Just because Opa and Náanaa are gone shopping for a few hours doesn't mean you can do whatever you want! How can I trust that you'll behave yourself all alone while they're gone?"

       "It's not like you've got a choice to stay behind and not go to school just to babysit me," Ivy sneered as she stuck her tongue out at Aiko. "I'm not a kid anymore, Aiko, I can take care of myself!"

       "Coming from the kid who just stuck her tongue out at me," Aiko rolled her eyes as she picked up the backpack, slinging it over her shoulder. "Now go get ready for school, Ivy. And could you pack a lunch this time, please?"

       "Yeah, yeah..." Ivy grunted as she perused the pantry.

       "Ready to go?" Maeve asked.

       "Yeah, I'm all packed— just gotta wait for Yuko to get dressed," Aiko replied, waiting at the stairs leading to her room. "Yuko, you good?"

       "Yep, yep, yep!" Yuko sang as she pranced downstairs, her frilly pink dress bouncing with her every step. "Do you like my dress? Náanaa sewed it together for me out of her old clothes!"

       "You look very pretty, Yuko," Aiko complimented her bubbly companion as she and Maeve followed her to the garage door. "See ya, Ives! Make sure to get to school on time today, okay?"

       "Yeah, whatever..." Ivy whined as she watched Aiko leave, making sure the coast was clear. "Asshole." A mischievous grin spread across Ivy's face as she practically skipped over to the kitchen stovetop, rolling up the left sleeve of her blouse. "Alright, let's see what else I can do with you."

       On Ivy's shoulder was a Mark of unique design. It appeared to be some kind of soaring bird with outstretched wings, but it also appeared to be engulfed in flames and hovering over some kind of mound or pile of some substance. With Marks, one could only assume the meaning of the design until the powers it held were utilized, and Ivy had been experimenting with it for a few days off and on, hence her numerous late-slips she received in first-period Mathematics. She acquired her Mark only a few days ago whilst writing poetry in the park, sitting alone on the swing set. There had been several odd occurrences that day: unusually dark clouds and an exceedingly thick fog sticking close to the ground. Not only that, but she had an unshakable feeling of dread. Then, all of a sudden, as she turned to the next page of her notebook, she was met with the Mark that would glue itself to her body. Since that day, Ivy had been making several conjectures about her Mark based on its appearance, and through trial and error, she identified her Mark's primary focus, fire. Her body seemed to be totally immune to fire and heat, and she tested the extent of this ability at length on her grandparent's stove.

       Ivy placed her right hand on the gas stove, and with her left, she turned it on. Flames shot out of the nozzle, engulfing her hand, yet she felt nothing; it was as if her body and clothing had become entirely flame-retardant. She shut off the stove, feeling the back of her hand, expecting it to be scalding hot. To her surprise, it felt the same as it did before she touched the stove. Her curiosity getting the better of her, Ivy decided to try something new; she clenched her fist, visualizing the stove's blue flames. Then, suddenly, her whole hand became engulfed in blue fire. Giving into her primal fears, Ivy immediately panicked at the rapid expansion of the fire as it spread to her forearm, and to make the transformation even more horrifying, embers were beginning to shoot out of her arm. Soon after, the overhanging fire alarm sounded, and Ivy quickly placed her hand in the sink, drenching it in cold water. As the water quelled her flames, Ivy's panting slowed to a halt and she regained her composure, then she swiftly grabbed one of the kitchen island's chairs, placing underneath the alarm and shutting it off.

       "What the hell are you?" Ivy asked her Mark as she hopped down from the stool, hoping it would answer, but its lips remained sealed. "Yeah, I thought so..."

****

       Yuko scooped up a large forkful of pancakes drenched in maple syrup and shoved it into her wide maw, chewing delightedly and gulping it down with a syrup-laced smile. "Yum!"

       "Uh, hey, Yuko..." Jace nudged his neighbour's metallic elbow as he looked down at the decapitated fork in her hand. "Where's the top of that fork?"

       "Oh dear," Maeve cringed as she heard metal fragments getting ground up in Yuko's teeth.

       "Um..." Yuko held the dismembered tool up to let Aiko take a look at it. "Did I-?"

        "You bit the top off of it again," Aiko sighed, shaking her head at Yuko. "You gotta stop biting down so hard."

       "How many has she-...?" Carlo trailed off as he stared at his own fork.

       "This is her fifth one so far," Aiko let out a tired chuckle as she finished her last piece of bacon and handed Yuko her fork. "Don't let this be the sixth, okay?"

       "So... Aiko..." Jace's eyebrows moved up and down at a rapid pace as he made a rolling sound with his tongue.

       "Carlo told you too, huh...?" Aiko slowly turned her head, shooting Carlo the stink-eye.

       "What, I'm the bad guy?! Jace was gonna start hitting on you pretty soon!" Carlo exploded, tossing his hands in the air in frustration.

       "This is actually pretty dope," Jace sneered as he munched on his tuna fish sandwich. "I've never had a gay friend before."

       "Neither have I," Carlo added.

       "Okay, okay, I know where you two are going with this!" Aiko objected as she gathered up her dirty dishes. "I'm not gonna do guy shit with either of you, or gossip about girls, or do any of the fuckin' bullshitty shit that you think I'm gonna do with you!" Aiko took a deep breath, attempting to calm herself down. "And you know what? To be honest, I kinda thought you were gay, Carlo."

       "Me?! Really?! That's bullshit..." Carlo looked around the lunch table, trying to find support from the rest of his team, but they all seemed to avert their eyes. "Really, you guys?"

       "Heh heh..." Maeve cracked an awkward smile as Carlo's eye glazed over her.

       "Well, now that she mentions it... you kinda do dress a bit too fashionable for a guy sometimes," Jace shrugged his shoulders as he polished off the rest of the tuna that fell out of his sandwich. "I mean... I know you're not, but still. That green hair doesn't really help your case either."

       "Oh, and what do you wear every day, Jace?! Cargo shorts? Fuck off," Carlo scoffed as he pushed away his breakfast tray. "I like wearing good clothes."

       "Your vest is cool," Mura grumbled as she took one last bite of her toast with liverwurst.

       "Thank you, Mura!" Carlo shouted as he got up from his seat, bowing to Mura. "Once again, Mura gets it!"

       "But you're all too god damn loud." Mura let off an aura of malice and death that seemed to darken the space around them, silencing them all. "Thanks."

       After a few moments of calm, Carlo leaned forward to talk with the stoic, blue-haired girl. "So, Mura... I know you just told me to put a lid on it, but-."

       "What do you want?" Mura wasted no time with Carlo.

       "I was just gonna ask you where you got that jean jacket..." Carlo smirked at Mura's straightforward approach to conversation.

       "Oh," Mura nodded, checking the tag of her jacket. "Salvation Army."

       "A thrift store, huh? Nice steal," Carlo said as he scratched the tuft of hair on his chin. "How much?" Mura seemed reluctant to reply, and Carlo quickly caught on to this. "Ah, it's cool. I can make an estimate."

       "So, how's Aiko's house?" Jace asked Maeve, who seemed a lot quieter than usual.

       "Oh, it's-..." Maeve glanced over at Aiko, who she worried would be offended if she spoke her mind. "It's different, but I'd take this punishment over suspension."

       "So, when are clubs gonna start? Does anyone know?" Aiko wondered (she had lost her school calendar on the first day).

       "Beginning of next week, I think," Carlo answered her inquiry as a cafeteria worker picked up all their dirty dishes. "They probably want us to get settled into our regular classes this week."

       "Yeah, right," Aiko nodded, looking over to Maeve, who was avoiding eye contact with her. "Hey, you okay?"

       "Oh, I'm fine!" Maeve smiled with faint tinges of woe in her voice. "I'm just a little tired is all." She didn't seem so sure of her own words; they sounded like someone else's. "I thank you for asking."

[isaacathom]

ok ive decided stuff about the admins

theres 4 of them. theres YT, a Doctor guy, the Ceo, and a small fry who is the ‘fodder’ admin. think like..... proton??? the green guy from team rocket in gen 2/4. that guy.

cause i think that gives a good spread. cause in ‘marketing’, youd only know about the doctor and the small fry. you know YT exists, and you might assume theyre part of team whatsit, but its unconfirmed. you dont know the CEO exists at all. and in terms of team admins, two seems fair, not super unnatural. no worries.

it also gives a good spread of how these admins feel about what theyre doing and what they specifically support. YT, she hates this, but she supports the ‘goal’ of defaming the gym leaders/e4/champ. hence, she heads up that division. its not a separate goal, but any time the team wants to fuck with their reputation, YT is the one they call.

the Doc is for public safety. why is he part of a gang? thats my real problem with him but im gonna work on that later. but hes in to keep the people safe and sees the rest as a means to that end, an unfortunate stepping stone on the way to like, security n shit. hes a bit oblivious to just hoooowwww bad the leader is

the CEO is all about control. control freak. its why they were placed as the ceo of the facade company, they run shit, fastidious, they want the world just so. they dont care about the e4 or about public safety, but think that if dealing with those will lead to their perfect lil sphere of influence, theyll make pretend.

the small fry is basically just leader lite. they totally idolise the leader of team whatsit, and as such they just PARROT it. they emulate the leader in every way, minus tact and like, general competence. so theyre just like, cult like, its kinda fucked if you think about it. the reason theyre an admin is basically just as a fall guy.

the idea here is that soon, soooooon, team whatsit’s facade company is gonna do a MASSIVE raid on a team whatsit warehouse, and they will capture small fry. hand them over to the police. because small fry is actually an admin, they can act convincingly to the police, but because the other admins arent actually divulging secrets to small fry, they are at noo risk of being uncovered through this. as a result of this, to ensure small fry doesnt know too much, theyve only heard fake names of the other admins, fake locations and shit about them, and theyve ONLY met the leader face to face. their news comes to them through letters exclusively. they dont know anything more than they should.

and itd be fun because when YOU meet small fry, which is before the Big Raid, they tell you all this super innacurate information. like, you already know who the Doc is (because he does have a name i just havent made it up yet), but this small fry tells you a completely incorrect name. like everything he says in incorrect. and youre like, what the fuck is happening??? why is this admin so out of loop?

and the thing is, its pretty fucked up, because if the small fry realises that theyve been tricked, that the leader betrayed them and is getting them genuinely sent to jail (because to break them out would be to put the whole peace facade at risk), they cant actually tattle. because they dont know ANYTHING. theyre fucked, basically. the only way that admin gets off is if the leader admits everything, or if you (the player) found something that proved their ‘innocence’ and lack of evil intent. you probably wouldnt, though. cause the idea is, this admin is REALLY small fry. you encounter them maybe twice, once separately in a small town where they attempt to orchestrate smth, like a rbbery of a family business, something petty. and then once during the raid, which you take part in, i think. cause you ran errands for the CEO, and they call on you for another favour because youre oh so talented, to help them raid the warehouse and capture small fry. and you do! you get to small fry and theyre captured. CEO congratulates you with a nice sum of money, and tells you that if you ever wants a job with the company when youre older, that the door is always open. thats the laaaast time you see small fry (they might be mentioned on tv occasionally thereafter because of the story trigger), and its the last time you mandatorily see the CEO before theyre revealed to be Big Ol Bad.

idk. i think its fun? like it sucks for small fry because i imagine theyre young, possibly a similar age to YT (who is, AT MOST, 25, and much more likely to be around 20 years old), or a lil younger, say 18. naive, enamoured. poor kid.

i think small fry is the only admin you cant actually rescue, unless theyres a post game story (side story, because in my Dream of Dreams theres like 5 post game subplots because fuck you god i live my life) in which you visit them in the police center and help em clear their name. dunno how THAT’d manifest. maybe its part of a YT story. like, post game, you do a bunch of YT missions to help the tie up loose ends. free small fry. help the doctor. punch the ceo in the face. that sort of thing. i mean thats incredibly vague.

i mean, you cant rescue the CEO or the Leader either. the doctor is probably fine. YT is either captured voluntarily or disappears into the ether only to reappear to roundhouse kick elito and leave again. possibly a combob. idk. thatd be an interesting idea for post game. or, ooh, something to do with the gym leaders. helping them sorta rebuild the city, that sorta shit. cause like, the city (Melbourne, fuckeeeeerrrrssss) got straight up fucked. not as bad as like, opelucid that one time, though that was also JUST some ice and it maybe caused some minor flooding. this shit was like rage on the streets, or something. lot of damage. bunch of broken windows. worker and police npcs everywhere. yknow.

and you help them fix that up, maybe while hunting down the CEO, perhaps, or the leader if they made a getaway. im thinking the CEO, because if the leader got away itd be a kind of cop out (see at least with ghetsis he broke out BETWEEN games. thats a difference), but the CEO being out in the wild isnt hyper unusual.

idk. thats some far future shit.

as far as encounters with the admins goes???? or with the team in general. so first you meet grunts, and then you meet small fry (1). meet more grunts, and perhaps thats how you meet CEO (-1), through being witnessed. idk. whoo. then you meet more grunts, and then im thinking you meet Doc (1). then you meet CEO (0) again, after you run the errand, and then you go off to the next town without incident before the raid, where you ruin small frys (2) life. then im thinking you keep going and thats when you meet YT (1) as an admin for the first time, when you decide to keep dishing out vigilante justice and go after them in another place. after you, you encounter CEO (1) as admin as well. this is JUST before chaos city shit, in which you will fight CEO (2) DOC (2) and YT (2) again. its also where youll meet leader (1). and im thinking you might fight them twice. the first time solo, and the second time after the summoning of the legendaries, in which its a double fight with leader (2) and CEO/YT (3?), depending. then you win, congrats. you only fight doc twice. after you beat him in the city he exits the building to go help people on the street, and he is not present at the whatsit climax.

not sure if the double battle is with YT or CEO. might depend on in what order you fight them in the city. you do see YT before you get to the building, as YT is in the pokemon center and tells you to leave for your own safety. also with the double battle, not sure if you and your friend have the legendarie or they do. both make sense. i like both. also why is your friend there? mans powerful.

problem with that rundown is it DOES possibly remove the whole ‘elito fucking flees’ scenario but that could easily be slotted into the skyscraper thing and serve to remove YT from the climax of it, thus leaving the double battle as Leader/CEO. Besides, youve fought YT BEFORE that as well. theres the optional fight that lets you skip doing like the 3rd gym until way later, and theres a fight i think befor and after that one. one really early, not when she first meets you in like the first town that isnt your home, maybe the one after that. and then theres another in between like. the doc fight and the small fry battle. maybe yt tries to prevent you from joining the raid (UNDERSTANDABLY given what happened to her). thatd be fun. and thatd be the last time you see her before the admin reveal. yea, thatd work ok.

ofc the problem is pacing. aside from the fact that Fuck Me I cant Pace Worth a Shit, the towns need to be placed good. the last thing i want is a repeat of west kalos which was the MOST BORING THING THAT EVER HAPPENED. god fuck west kalos. west kalos is ass. cause you beat viola, right, and then you go to lumiose, go to the useless town, go to the manor up the road, go to another useless town, go to a cave, THEN you get to the next town and fight grant and its like what the fuck was that about. god that shit was stupid. you didnt even get to fight an admin at the end of that cave shit. god that was dumb. god fuck west kalos.

but yea. you dont wanna repeat it. and one way we do that is by not arbitrarily shutting off half of a fucking city. mostly because pokeMelbourne would be more uh, city on melemele than Lumiose Cuck Fuck. Hold on, i need to do a quick comparison in sizes, hold up.

well. melbourne certainly is bigger than paris. but i think, oooh, OOOOOOHHHH, ooooooooh no ive got an idea. cause like, /i/ live in the city of melbourne right, despite being a solid hour from the cbd, im like half way from the city to the east beaches. (ok more like a third but bare with me)

so. you could have a biiiig sprawling city that is actually divided into 3 ‘places’. like, its a big urban sprawl. and youve got the cbd, which is ‘the city proper’, which is where the chaos takes place. and then there are two outer suburbs of the city!!!! which means you could have multiple gyms within the same ‘city’, because the city by square kms is Fucking Giganto like, guys, Paris is like 100sq kms and melbourne is 9900sq kms, get the Fuck out of here, oh my god. shit, even new york (castelia) is like, 800sq kms. buddy. buddy we’re in. oh buddy that sounds so cool. cause then it means, ooh, if we /wanted/ to do something akin to skipping the gym in lumiose the first time, it wouldnt be an issue, because there are still two other gyms. you dont feel like its a useless detour. like oh no, a power outage, cant even walk the fucking streets, wow. not like backup generators exist.

but like, youd have home town, then next town with the first gym (and your first YT encounter, sans fight because she doesnt fight you), THEN you enter the city outskirts and its a second gym, then the city proper and you skip that gym because thats like the 5th gym, then you head out the western outskirts and fight the 3rd gym. something like that! and the connecting routes would be city streets slowly getting more and more urban the closer you get to the city proper. ooooooOOOOOOHHH yea i like that, i like that a lot.

see this is fun. i love this