#oh also i spent 4 days at my parents and didn't fight with my dad once! | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

solace-saphylos · 10 months ago

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I've started this challenge, and I will now unceremoniously use this reblog to reminisce about my progress so far. One of my personal goals this game is to socialize with all of the Sims 4 townies and get to know them better, so in order to ensure nobody ages away, dies or generates new whatever ones I set only my active household to age. That also means that every generation kept living will keep living even though the legacy goes on. I think I like it that way.

Lae'zel started out as a fresh alien ready to make her life in Grimm's Quarry, Evergreen harbor. She had great compatibility with Bess Sterling, the entrepreneur scam lady, so I first aimed for her as Wyll's other parent. This was shortly messed up by Bess asking to stay over a couple of days. It was a merry time of flirting with Bess and beating the ever loving shit out of Jules (Bess' boyfriend). I should have seen the Evil trait coming, but I embraced it with surprise. This is officially Vlaakith route Lae'zel. I promptly picked a fight with Santa, beat him up, and then erased his memory with alien powers. Life was good!

Wyll came to be after meeting Marcel Price at the neighbourhood brawl. Great compatibility, and a lot of micromanaging later, we were best friends and made a science baby. Boy on the first try! Lae'zel used up all of her parental leave to absolutely baby the infant, marvelling at how cute a human baby (objectified) can be. No will of their own, just... Adorable. Christmas came and she beat up Santa for presents, memory wipe, just like last time.

After an exemplary toddlerhood, Lae'zel was getting bored of parenting on her own. She made the impromptu main character decision of moving into Bess and Jules household, with the explicit goal of keeping up the romance with Bess and completely ruining Jules' life. It took some renovating to their house, and Wyll's room was a minimal closet type place with a bunk bed and a desk. Still, as a sociable child he enjoyed the extra faces to talk to.

The bane of my existence was picking the Commander career path, since it requires to level charisma. The socially awkward trait made this sloggingly slow, and I hated it. In order to make this suffering less serious I made sure to level Wyll's charisma too, to get that out of the way for his play as an adult. His teenage years became distinctly uneventful, as both him and his mother spent time yapping at mirrors and chasing confidence moodlets. Oh, Christmas was awesome for everyone in the house, even if Lae'zel beat up and memory wiped Santa again.

Life in the Bess-Sterling house was falling apart though. It was funny to give Jules the jealous trait, so that he would suffer, but on a whim I gave Lae'zel it too when prompted? The bitter resentment toward Bess, who honestly was the unfortunate victim of this love triangle, all of it made the relationship un-salvageable. It got to the point where Lae'zel beat Bess up, memory erased her, just to start over. It didn't work. They still despised each other.

So Lae'zel took her son and left that house, moving closer to work in Strangerville. With the half million simoleons she had stolen (split 50/50, Bess won the lottery once, I think that's why they were so rich??) Lae'zel built her own modern-cosmo luxe McMansion of moderate size. The charm point was the detached gym and a barely hidden rocket platform on the gym's roof. Truly a woman-cave to spend her retirement days in. Since she completed the bodybuilder aspiration, that retirement was bound to be long.

I wish there was more exciting things that happened in that house. They mostly grinded away at their skill leveling, Wyll completing both charisma and dance before Lae'zel got that damn 10 charisma for the final promotion. Since Lae'zel's evil trait had made her so mean, their relationship slowly deteriorated to a nice neutral in time for Wyll's birthday.

He invited all his friends. Even Bess and Jules were there. His dad, his half brother, the nanny who became his first best friend, it was just awesome! As soon as he's aged up and gained the good trait, he felt confident to take on the world! ... If only his evil alien mom didn't start arguing with him so soon. Their relationship sank like a stone in water, and after getting beat up Wyll immediately moved out. The party had barely finished before the took a measily sum of money and got himself that one haunted chef's apartment in San Myshuno. With only 213 simoleons to his name, he was ready to start his leg of the legacy!

Lae'zel was not quite finished with hers though. I played her for an extra week, where she gracefully aged up into an elder. Almost as soon as Wyll left she finally got that last bit of charisma. It was time to build the rocket on the roof. I purposefully left it 75% done, just to get that ominous scaffolded look for all the neighbours to worry about. Is she going home? Coming back with reinforcements? Or just bored of this earth?

Too bored can't be true. She admittedly had some flirtations with Marcel, Wyll's dad, after the platonic science baby had been made. Since Bess was shot, Lae'zel initiated a new sweet relationship with the man who had been there all along... Or rather, continuously showing up unceremoniously, somehow never concerned to hang out with his own family of six. I love this game.

Throughout her career Lae'zel has had work-pop ups for nothing, and I mean absolutely nothing but her social awkwardness. The final week of work to promotion edged me, continually sending me down with medium loss too many times. Friday finally made her Grand Marshal. She laughs manically, heading off to her detached gym to spar with her robot or to build on her rocket. She's finally done!

This is my first legacy challenge, but I get it. I really get it. Now I'm off to ruin Wyll's life before fixing it again. I have a Mizora stand in in mind for him <3 Judith Ward!

So I was surprised that there hasn't been a Baldur's Gate Sims 4 Legacy Challenge made yet, so I made one. This only includes the BG3 companions and custom characters. You're welcome. Let me know if I forget a pack.

Required packs: Get to Work, Realm of Magic, Strangerville, Snowy Escape, High School Years, Cottage Living, Get Famous, Seasons, Get Together, Cats and Dogs, Discover University, Growing Together, Spa Day, City Living, and Romantic Garden Stuff (optional)

Generation 1: Laezel

Socially Awkward, Genius, Active

Start as an Alien; you are not allowed to disguise yourself

Complete the BodyBuilder aspiration

Reach max Fitness skill

Reach level 10 of the Military career, either branch

Become Woohoo Partners with a sim and achieve Best Friend status without any romance bar

Have at least one Science baby with your best friend (No Try for Baby or Adoption)

Generation 2: Wyll

Self-assured, Proper, Good

Complete the Social Butterfly childhood aspiration

Complete the Friend of the World aspiration

Complete the Diamond Agent career track

Reach max Charisma and Dance skills

Have a negative relationship with Lae'zel and leave the house as a Young Adult

Have one child with an Evil, Mean, or Jealous sim, who will be Karlach.

Achieve soulmate status with another sim and stay with them until you die.

Generation 3: Karlach

Goofball, Hot-headed, Self-assured

Complete the Rambunctious Scamp childhood aspiration

Join the Football Team and become Football Captain

Complete the Joke Star aspiration

You must reach the Comedian branch as a Young Adult, but quit for the Manual Laborer part-time job until your death

You must have at least one child with a friend or lover in your household

Die as an Adult having completed all requirements

Generation 4: Shadowheart

Gloomy, Noncommittal, Snob

Be raised by a sim that is not your surviving parent. You are not allowed to interact with your original parent until you become a Young Adult.

Complete Friend of the Animals aspiration

Reach level 3 in the Criminal career, and then max out the Detective career

Own at least one barn and one chicken coop

Have at least one child

Optional: Have your child through the Wishing Well

Generation 5: Halsin

Love the Outdoors, Romantic, Animal Enthusiast

Become a Master Llamacorn Scout

Complete the Serial Romantic aspiration

Have at least 5 children with all different sims, one of them a spellcaster (Gale)

Own at least two barns, one chicken coop, and one garden plot, including Shadowheart’s barn and coop

Generation 6: Gale

Ambitious, Bookworm, Good

Must be born a spellcaster

Complete the Creative Genius or Whiz Kid Childhood Aspiration

Join the Chess team as a Teen and become Chess Team Captain

Become an A Student in Grade School and High School

Go to the Magic Realm as a teenager and train with a spellcaster. Have a romantic relationship and break up with that spellcaster as a Young Adult.

After the breakup, perform the Rite of Dissolution. (RP that this was forced.)

Complete a University degree

Max out the Professor career track and have at least one non-spellcaster child with a different sim

Optional: Become a Spellcaster again after completing your studies and reach Virtuoso rank before your death

Generation 7: Astarion

Paranoid, Kleptomaniac, Unflirty

Complete the Slumber Party Animal childhood aspiration

Join the Drama Club and become a Junior Artiste as a Teen

Join the Law career track and reach level 3

Be turned into a vampire by Straud as a Young Adult and move into his household

Seduce 10 sims and lure them to Straud’s mansion, turning at least 5 of them into vampires. You can only control Straud to turn sims; otherwise, you must primarily control Astarion. You cannot have a job and can only leave the mansion to pursue victims as long as Straud lives.

Make at least 3 friends

Kill Straud in your lifetime and take over his mansion

Achieve soulmate status with a non-vampire

Max out Vampire Lore skill

Have at least one child

Cure yourself of vampirism OR turn your soulmate into a vampire

Generation 8: Minthara

Self-absorbed, Evil, Ambitious

Can be a vampire or human, but must identify as a woman

Finish the Mind and Body Childhood Aspiration

Join the Cheer Captain activity as a teen

Complete the Leader of the Pack aspiration

Only women can be members

Reach level 10 of the Business career

Have at least 5 enemies

Generation 9: Dark Urge

Erratic, High-Maintenance, Gloomy

Complete the Public Enemy aspiration, then the Friend of the World aspiration

Max out Mischief and Wellness skills

Make 5 enemies, then repair all the relationships to Friendship level

Reach level 10 of any career

Have at least 1 child

Generation 10: Tav the Bard

Cheerful, Good, Creative

Complete the Artistic Prodigy Childhood Aspiration

Complete a University degree

Complete the Bestselling Author Aspiration

Reach level 10 in the Acting career

Max out Guitar (Lute) skill

Write 9 novels that correspond with each previous generation

#Thank you so much for writing this challenge #it is suffering but it makes the game so fun #I think this is what I've needed to play the game right #right as in my kind of fun #so thank you!#bg3 #the sims legacy #the sims 4 #ts4 simblr #baldurs gate 3

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imonlyusingthisforrp · 1 year ago

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I don't talk much about real life around here. So I'll start with talking a bit about Kiddo. Kiddo is almost 12, going on 30 I swear. He's wicked smart, funny as hell, and calls me "Mom" and "Aunt Kelly" by turns. I knew Kiddo's Bio-Mom from work (and when Bio-Mom was pregnant, so I've literally known Kiddo from before birth), and we became tentative friends over our retail hell. Eventually (like almost two years in), Bio-Mom invited Spouse and me to LARP, and hearing that we didn't ever go anywhere or do anything, invited us over to their parents' house. We went over, and there sat this tiny, beautiful child who was 18 months old, and who knew NO fear of strangers, as long as they were brought in by Bio-Parents. Within a few times of meeting them, I was getting hugs and cheek kisses and learning how to translate tiny human words. I was WILD for this kid. Spouse felt the same. We flat out adored him.

Within a few months, Bio-Mom's parents had moved across the country, left the house to the fam, and we had moved in to help with bills and all. Kiddo spent a LOT of time with us, because we were the fun Aunties. Our door was always open (within reason), and he knew he could come in and we would love on him and snuggle him and make him watch TV with us (I was early in my Doctor Who era, and there's a post on FB about him and I going back and forth about "My Tardis!" "NO, MY TARDIS!")

Life is funny. Ours might have stayed that way forever. Auntie Kelly and Auntie Sheep (Spouse would go "BAAAAA" like a sheep and then play a Zombie for kiddo, and literally, kiddo would yell "SHEEP!" and "ZOMBIE" just to see how fast Spouse could switch. It was adorable), living in the basement, with the door open and lots of hugs.

But then Kiddo was five, with infant twin brothers, and Bio-Mom kicked Bio-Dad out. In hindsight, a great plan (he is diagnosed as a sociopath, and has severe narcissistic personality stuff going on). At the time, we panicked, because he was going to take the kids, and all we cared about was keeping the kids safe. So we left with him. And then he got the kids, and we moved into a townhouse, and we took care of Kiddo even more. The four hour hair-brushing incident was when we realized HOW bad it really was. We gave him baths, we fed him, we took care of him, and it all came to a head when I told Kiddo's Bio-Dad to get his shit together (meaning 'oh my god, you asshole, take care of your children', but he took it as 'get your shit together and go'). He moved out within a week, and Kiddo's Bio-Mom took custody of Kiddo and the Twins.

It was around a year later that Bio-Mom decided to move where their parents lived. Spouse and I cried so much when they left that both of us almost got sick. We figured we'd see them rarely, if ever. Travel is expensive, after all.

Summer of 2021, we had Kiddo with us for 4 weeks to give Bio-Family a break. It was awesome. We had fun, we laughed and talked and cuddled and at the end of the visit, we cried as he walked to the plane. But when he got home, things were tense (not because of the trip. The tension had been bad anyway, but the break from each other seems to have made things worse). This is the part I'm not going to go into more than this. Just, it wasn't great for anyone involved, and we offered our home for Kiddo to come to. Like, to his Bio-Mom, not just telling him "oh, come stay with us".

We got him here on January 9, 2022. Within a few months, he started using his new name and pronouns, and while it was a pretty constant struggle for all of us to deal with things, he was doing SO well.

Last summer, he and I went to visit the Bio-Family. It was fun, because I don't get to travel much, but we ALL caught Covid, got the version that makes everyone puke, and I wound up with laryngitis for 4 days in the middle of it. There were also a LOT of fights. A lot lot. When we left, we all agreed we needed more time before the next visit. At least a year (and now we're not sure when, if ever, it will happen again. Things with Bio-Family has not gone great in the not-so-distant past)

The year between then and now has been... outstanding. Kiddo is growing by leaps and bounds. We still argue sometimes (he and I drive each other nuts because I'm with him CONSTANTLY, while Spouse has a life outside of the house and works and has local-ish relationships), but we're all getting better and realizing why it's happening and turning things around. Kiddo has less negative self-talk (A HUGE step). He passed 5th grade and moved up to Middle School! He's learning to be vulnerable and ask for help. He's learning to trust (though sometimes he falls back into his past way of handling things, and it frustrates me to no end), and knows he can talk to us about everything.

We're not a traditional family, obviously. Kiddo has two Aunts/Moms at home, a "Canadian Mom", a Father, lots of Uncles, a Mam who adores him (my mom), an Uncle (my brother) who drives him nuts (My brother is old, and very set in his ways. He refuses to use Kiddo's pronouns and chosen name. it has caused ISSUES.), a Bio-Family (Including twin brothers, of course) that gets lots of updates and pictures, and a Grandpa who has never met him but loves him in his quiet way (Spouse's Dad).

I wish I could have made Kiddo's life better earlier, but I'm SO glad we have the ability to do it now. I'm so glad that he's my sweet kid, who drives me nuts but who I love so much I'd happily hurt anyone who tried to hurt him. We're a weird bunch, but we love each other just as hard as we fight.

I'm the luckiest Mom.

#real life #kiddo #aunties or moms?#why not both?#I'm the luckiest #Mom things

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thequintessentialqueer · 5 years ago

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ahhhhh I'm having a really lovely day!! it started out with a lot of annoying white people shit online but then I got invited to a qt bipoc meeting to discuss the fascist violence in our city and I wasn't gonna go because I needed to go back to toronto but I ended up deciding to stick around and go back later, and I'm so glad I did! I was an hour late to the meeting so again I almost didn't go, but I did and everyone was so lovely and kind and all the shit I was feeling about white-dominated anti-fascist organizing was what they felt too and it was just so affirming??? like wow I'm not irrational and making shit up this is actually real and my perception is accurate and shared by others like me, and now we're gonna make our own org and do shit our way???!

also one person there came up later and told me that I was really gorgeous and they had just felt the need to let me know because they're trying to tell people when they think something nice about them, and it was so affirming and lovely! I haven't worn foundation in almost a month and I feel like I've been getting a lot less compliments on my looks so I've been feeling bad about that, but still committed to not wearing so much makeup......but to hear that totally unprovoked from a stranger was so wonderful!!! ahhh and then some of us hung out at the go bus terminal so we could chat until my bus came and we talked about shitty experiences we'd had with white organizers and all of our experiences had so much in common it was unreal. it was awful but also such a fucking relief!! and I'm so hopeful that we're gonna organize together and actually feel heard and understood and respected and welcome!!! I also knew a good number of the people there from various contexts and they're all people I really like and think are good and committed and genuine, so I think this can actually go somewhere good 😭💖

this is once again affirming the sense I've had that this half of the year is gonna be a time of new beginnings, of growth, of change. things inside me have been shifting so much and I've known that the life I've been living is no longer the life that is right for me. I've been around white people whose company makes me feel shitty, and I've been lonely, and I've been struggling in my writing, and I was in so much physical and mental anguish after jaw surgery......but now it's all coming to fruition. my writing is changing in exciting ways, my organizing and friendship circles are hopefully about to shift for the better (not planning on ditching anyone but on deepening my relationships with the racialized people in my life and building community together)........I'm about to start another shitty service industry job which sucks but I'll have money at least, and the new term will be coming and I plan to get closer to people in my program and get to know all the first years too!

ahh one other really lovely and surprising thing that happened today is that one of my sisters suggested in the group chat that we get matching tattoos??! and it was the sister I've historically had the most difficult relationship with, who has no tattoos and has never wanted to get any before! I can't believe she would want something to tie us together like this, but now that I think of it she has been trying to connect more recently than in the past. I've always wanted us to all be closer but never really known how to make it happen, but doing this together could be a great bonding activity and hopefully the start of a better, more loving connection as sisters 💖 I really hope so! and I am always down for a new tattoo and I've always wanted to do matching tattoos with someone!

#sounds like a personal problem #long post /#oh also i spent 4 days at my parents and didn't fight with my dad once!#i didn't fight with him the last time i went back either!!#we hung out a lot too and got along the whole time!!#so I'm very happy about that too!!!#family cw

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naancypants · 3 years ago

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If season 3 had been longer, what would you have liked to see more follow up on?

Oh Anon there is a LAUNDRY LIST 😂

Under a cut because it's long, dfdjdkv

- Ace being in the liminal space. I wouldn't have wanted this storyline to last too long, but it seemed like such a MASSIVE twist and then it was just... oh... he's already back 😂. We could've gotten more of his friends' reactions to him being missing... which is still one of my biggest critiques of that episode, tbh.

- The underground cage and BD's time spent there. We didn't get to see how he turned himself into an entity in the first place, and why was the cage lock enchanted to send the key user to the liminal space? Did Temperance add that enchantment later? This was hazy to me, so I think it could've been made clearer with more time.

- What does it mean when Temperance says she "shaped Charity's soul" to be a key? I still have no idea. I would've liked some elaboration on this.

- ^^ I also would've elaborated on Tempy's motivation in general. She wants to "create a better world", but what does that entail? What is Temperance's idea of a better world, and why is it worth all the trouble?

- Oh yeah and Kegstand. What happened with Kegstand? I'm guessing it's a s4 setup with the whole "risen from the dead" thing?

- More follow-up on Ace's fallout with his parents.

- Just... basic information on Bess's life outside of magic? I also would've allowed more time for the Bess/Addy buildup to be a gradual shift from disgruntled strangers to enemies to lovers.

- WHAT HAPPENED WITH ACEMANDA AND THE ROAD TRIP? I kept waiting for the other shoe to drop telling us something happened to cut it short, but it never came. And then after their 4-day road trip, Amanda was like "yo want to go Spain with me" ? This whole situation was very unclear and needed a lot of follow-up. Personally I would've explained why their trip got cut short (a fight? her dad's release?), and then have it so that when they returned to HB Gil was packing to go find their mother, so Amanda went with him. Then she still could've temporarily come back home when she heard about their dad getting in trouble.

- The 3x02 protection bad luck spell. Did it work or not? Did Bess ever reverse it? Was there never a spell's influence to begin with (considering the season Ace had, I'd be more surprised if it WASN'T real)? This plot thread wasn't wrapped up in the episode itself, so I would've liked to see some resolution to it later (even if only in the form of a throwaway line).

- This is a big one for me - I wanted more specifics on how and why Ace carried the last soul piece. He isn't the firstborn on his dad's side, and although this isn't explicitly stated, the implication I took away from 3x03 was that his maternal grandparents were probably still in Europe in the 1940s (someone can correct me if this is false). Was Ace's 'soul piece carrier' criteria wrong to begin with?

- ^^ With more episodes I would've REALLY wanted to see the crew's immediate reactions to the news that Ace had the last soul piece.

- Was there an in-universe reason why Temperance wrote evil villain letters to her daughter?

- My god would those extra 5 episodes have helped pace out the n*rk storyline better.

- I also would've wanted them to further flesh out the build-up and motivation behind Fanson's breakup, but that's a post for another day

- THE DEATH OF THE COPPERHEAD. One of the cornerstones of the plot and he dies unceremoniously offscreen. Also, I thought it was implied that Temperance killed him when they went back to Icarus hall and she was gone... but... the Drew crew booked it outta there before Temperance had even WOKEN UP... and yet the Copperhead was already dead before they found him. How quickly after the Drew crew left did Temperance wake up? Can Temperance teleport? Was the Copperhead killed by someone/something else? These are all questions I wish were more clearly answered.

#this ended up being one part 'what do i wish they had followed up on' / one part 'here are all of my criticisms'#boof. sorry #cwnd #cwnd spoilers #ask #negativity tag

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likeahorribledream · 3 years ago

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The One That Got Away

Chapter 7: Number One

Summary: Charlie tries to settle into her new routine, without Bucky. As she's finally getting back on track, she has to go on her first date with Potential Future Husband Number One.

Word count: 4.2k

Warnings: A little bit of angst, one jackass, worst mother ever.

The two weeks following the fight, Charlie spent her time either at work or with Steve. As she had promised him, she did all the research she could to find the best training possible with what they had.

The training was going well, both her and Steve were sore pretty much all the time. After a week of working out with him, she had decided to be the ‘’brains’’ of the operation and leave the ‘’muscles’’ part to him. She was way too out of shape for boot camps. Steve was happy to have her around to help him, whether she was working out alongside him or cheering him on while he was doing the exercises she was telling him to do; it was nice to be able to spend more time with her.

It took almost a week of them hanging out together every afternoon after work before he started to see a change. Slowly, his friend was coming back to him. She started to smile again and the first time she laughed he grinned non-stop for 5 minutes. It took her a little more than a week before she stopped waiting for Bucky to show up. She had been waiting for him outside every day for lunch, but he never came. Whenever they were working out in the park together, she was always hopeful that he would join them but he never did. Steve knew it was hard for Bucky to stay away and he was impressed that he had managed to do it for this long.

Every time he had seen Charlie searching for Bucky and looking sad when she couldn’t find him, Steve had wanted so badly to tell her why Bucky had said what he had said and did what he did but that would only push her towards him and ruin all the efforts Bucky had put towards protecting her, so he never said anything. In a way, he was relieved when he noticed she had stopped looking around the park in the hopes that Bucky had finally changed his mind but it also saddened him because he knew it meant she was starting to move on.

When Bucky asked about her and how she was doing, he never knew what to tell his friend. Should he tell the truth and say that she was still sad, making him feel more guilty in the process or should he lie and say she was fine, which he knew would make Bucky feel better and worse all at the same time. Bucky wanted her to feel better, he hated knowing she was still in bad shape but if she felt better, it meant she was forgetting about him and just the thought made him want to cry. Steve avoided answering by only telling his friend what the two of them had been up to with his boot camp, being careful not to tell him anything about how she was feeling. None of the answers he had for Bucky would make him feel better.

Ever since her fight with her parents, Charlie had been more distant towards them. She ate dinner with them every night, per their request. She waited until they told her she could excuse herself before walking away from them. She knew she was on thin ice and that anything could set them off, so she played the role of the dutiful daughter, doing everything they said as soon as they said it.

Charlie came back to her room after dinner. She had been sitting in bed, reading, for an hour before a soft knock was heard at her door. She put her bookmark between the pages open in front of her and closed the book, putting it on her lap. She told the person to come in and was surprised to see her mom. Ever since that night, her mom had been avoiding her. If she had something to say, she would send her father to tell her and Charlie was fine with it. Her mother wasn’t really high up on the list of people Charlie tolerated at the moment.

Mrs. Mathews looked at her daughter, no emotions showing on her face and stepped into her room to stand at the foot of her bed.

‘’This Saturday, you have your first date.’’ Her mother announced, like she was talking about the weather. As if it was nothing when she knew how much it would affect her daughter.

Charlie felt bile rise up in her mouth and her stomach dropped. She knew this moment was coming but a small, naive part of her had hoped they had changed their mind. Her mom kept talking, telling her all about her date. His name, his age, who were his parents, what job he had and where they were going. Charlie forced herself to listen to her mother but none of what she said completely registered with her and as soon as the door closed behind Mrs. Mathews, Charlie had already forgotten everything except that she was going on a date with Potential Future Husband number 1. She knew she was being childish but she refused to learn their names. She had named them PFH number one through five.

Having lost interest in the book she had been reading, she decided to go to bed instead. She put her book on her nightstand right on top of the one that had been laying there for the past 2 weeks. The book that Bucky had started reading to her. She turned off the lights and closed her eyes. She hated the fact that just the thought of Bucky made her sad, she hated that she missed him when he had made it blatantly clear that he couldn’t care less about her. That night, Charlie once again fell asleep with the images of Bucky telling her she wasn’t worth his time replaying in her head, ignoring the stubborn tears that were falling despite her eyes being closed.

Charlie’s co-workers knew something had happened but didn't know what it was. Just that it was bad, bad enough for her to close in on herself and put up her guards. She had even asked to be moved from the front desk to the back office and only work on the patients’ charts and files. The only person who was aware of the situation was the owner of the clinic, her dad’s friend who had hired her. He was on strict orders to fire her the moment James Barnes would show up at the clinic.

Everyone was worried about her, but they knew better than to ask questions. The whole energy at work had shifted, having lost their sunshine; the one person who could make anyone smile through a bad day or through pain. If someone was having a bad day, it stuck with them until the end of their shift because the only person who always knew what to say or what to do to lift their spirits up was hiding in an office, far from them.

They were just as surprised to see that no one was coming in to see her anymore. The friend that used to come eat lunch with her every day was gone and their most regular patient, Steve, hadn’t been seen in weeks. Although it seemed like the two were connected, it was just that Steve was focusing all of his time and energy on his training and didn’t want to risk ruining all of his hard work by getting hurt in an alley fight.

The next day at work, Charlie seemed even more closed off. Her co-workers had slowly started to see the old Charlie coming back to them but all of that was gone overnight. She came in, said a quick good morning to everyone and disappeared in the back office for the entire day. When they saw her again, it was at the end of the day when she left. She wished a good night, to no one in particular and walked out.

She walked straight to the park to meet Steve. No matter how bad her mood was, she never stood him up and always showed up to his training.

When he saw her arrive, he instantly knew something was wrong. Where there usually was a smile, he found a small pout; her face frozen in a frown. Her shoulders were slightly slouched and there was no energy in her steps whatsoever. She stopped walking and started looking around for him, he waited until their eyes met and waved her over.

As she walked over, she gave herself a small inner pep-talk to get into a good mood. Steve had been an amazing and supporting friend with everything that had happened, she knew she hadn’t been the best of company and brought down the mood so she forced herself to smile before reaching Steve and faked enthusiasm.

‘’Hey Stevie.’’ She greeted him, trying to sound as cheerful as possible.

‘’Hey Char.’’ He smiled softly at her before bringing her into a hug. ‘’What happened?’’

She hugged him back, sighing. ‘’I’m sorry.’’ She whispered.

He took a few steps back to look at her. ‘’What are you apologizing for?’’

‘’I’m always in a bad mood lately, I always have problems. I’ve been a bad friend and I’m sorry.’’

‘’You don’t have to apologize for having a hard time. What you’re going through is not easy.’’ He hugged again before letting her go completely. ‘’So, tell me.’’

She motioned for them to start stretching, she was in a mood where she needed to blow out steam and working out with Steve was the perfect solution.

‘’I have my first date on Saturday.’’

Steve stopped stretching, looking at her with sadness in his eyes.

‘’Oh.. Char.’’

‘’It’s fine. We knew it was coming.’’ She tried to shrug it off.

‘’Wanna talk about it?’’

Charlie shook her head no.

‘’Wanna sweat about it?’’ He joked.

Charlie’s only answer was a big grin.

They spent the rest of the afternoon working-out, well Steve was working-out while Charlie was cheering him on, completely out of breath.

‘’I didn’t think I would ever be in a better shape than someone else.’’ He laughed in-between reps.

She stuck out her tongue at him. ‘’Ha. Ha. Ha. Aren’t you a funny one, Rogers.’’

‘’I know, I’m hilarious. It was about time you acknowledge it.’’ He smirked.

She rolled her eyes at him, smiling.

‘’I guess I was too blinded by my own flawless sense of humour to notice yours.’’ She shrugged.

Now Steve was the one rolling his eyes and laughed, pointing at his own head.

‘’How’s your ego? Good? Does that big head of yours make it difficult to walk through doors?’’

‘’My ego is fine, thank you for asking and yes, it is difficult sometimes, some door frames are smaller than others but I just learned to side step. I’ve gotten excellent at it.’’

Steve whistled, his eyes focusing on her head. ‘’Fascinating. I think I can actually see it grow before my very eyes.’’

‘’Aren’t you supposed to be training right now?’’

‘’Aren’t you?’’ He shot back.

Charlie gasped dramatically and they both started laughing. Steve went back to training, finishing today’s boot camp before falling to the ground, sitting next to his friend.

‘’You’re getting better every day Stevie. I’m proud of you.’’ She smiled.

Steve blushed at the compliment, not that anyone could notice, his face already red from all his hard work. She forced him to stretch afterwards, even if he kept complaining that he was too exhausted and he didn’t need to stretch even if deep down he knew he would be less sore the next day.

They walked home in silence, aside from their giggling. Anyone who saw them wouldn’t be able to tell that these two were full grown adults by the way they walked, shoving into one another; their steps going in every direction but a straight line, and by how they acted.

After an eventful walk home, they stopped a block away from Charlie’s house. It had become where they met and where they said goodbye, Steve didn’t come over anymore. They hugged once last time and went their separate ways.

Charlie felt so much better. All the laughing and running around almost made her forget what was waiting for her at home. Almost. But tonight, she couldn’t be bothered with it all. She had just had one of the best days in a long time and she was determined to not let anything ruin it. She was careful not to do or say anything that would set her father off, as soon as it was possible she disappeared to her room and finally let herself relax once she had closed the door.

She was getting ready for bed, brushing her wet hair from her, very much needed, shower. She was looking at herself in the mirror and being tired, she zoned out. Her eyes weren’t focusing on anything in particular, looking in her mirror at the reflection of her room behind her. She was looking around, still through the mirror, when something caught her eye; bringing her out of her thoughts. She gently placed the brush on her desk, to its rightful spot and turned around. She started looking around again, trying to find what had caught her attention but she couldn’t find it. She took a few steps to the side, when she saw it again. Something was shining in the light from her room. She walked over and picked it up.

Her locket.

She closed her fingers around it and brought her hand to her chest, where the locket usually would be and took a deep breath while closing her eyes.

‘’I’m sorry Gran. I know it meant a lot to you, it meant a lot to me too. I really wish you were here right now.’’ She whispered, almost inaudibly. ‘’I miss you.’’

As she opened her eyes again, she tried to think of a place where she could put the necklace. Somewhere that she would know it was safe, hidden from her parents but where she would still have easy access to it. Her eyes fell on the books piled up on her nightstand, finding the perfect hiding place. Her parents never looked through her books, they would never bother themselves trying to find out more about her interests.

She took the book that she had started reading with Bucky and found the page they were on. She hid the necklace in between pages, as close as possible to the bookbinding to not make it too obvious that it wasn’t closing completely because of the pendant. Closing the book, she put it back where it had been; under the book she was currently reading.

She fell asleep easily that night, feeling more at peace than she did the night before and every other night before that.

Saturday came around quickly, too quickly. Like everyone else, Charlie always looked forward to the weekend but not this time. Steve had tried to reassure her, saying it would go smoothly and that maybe she would even like him but she knew that if her parents had chosen him for her, he probably didn’t have anything in common with her but everything in common with them.

The pit in her stomach made it more difficult to get excited and to get ready. Even though she had half a mind to not put any effort on how she would look, she knew it would only mean more trouble for her so she decided to look her best, as if it was a real date. A date she wanted to be on with a man she liked.

She looked at herself one more time in the mirror to make sure her hair was secured into place, that her eyeliner looked good and that her dress looked flawless; not a wrinkle in sight. After all, she had to show her ‘’housewife potential’’. She heard knocking at the front door and took a shaky breath. She grabbed her clutch and opened her bedroom door, cringing at her father’s loud laugh. She walked downstairs, avoiding to look at the man waiting for her as long as she possibly could, that way she didn’t have to talk to him. Instead, she focused all of her attention on her feet as she walked down. It looked completely natural, like she was simply trying not to trip. Unfortunately, she reached the first floor and finally had to look up.

Number One looked handsome, too handsome. He had a smug look on his face, the kind of look that screamed ‘’I know I’m hot, I’m a big shot and better than you.’’ and Charlie hated that. It was going to be a long night.

She shook his hands while her dad was introducing him, honestly she wasn’t really listening and just nodded politely when he asked if she was ready to go.

He told her parents he would bring her back no later than 10pm, then shook her father’s hand. He turned around, opened the door and walked outside towards the cab that had been waiting for them; never looking back to see if she was following him. She followed not long after, a bit disappointed that he hadn’t opened the door for her and let her walk out first, guiding her with his hand resting on the small of her back like gentlemen did. Like James Bucky did.

The restaurant was nice and very expensive. The waiter walked them over to their table, right next to the window that looked over the street from where they had just come from. She followed the waiter, looking on the tables around to see what looked good. Great, she thought, ridiculously small portions. I should have eaten before this. Although it was really ‘’unlady-like’’, Charlie liked it. She didn’t care about the name of the restaurant or how much everything cost. She cared about actually eating and loving the food on her plate. That wasn’t going to happen tonight.

When they reached their table, Number One pulled out a chair and sat down. He didn’t pull out her chair, he didn’t ask her which seat she preferred; the one facing the wall or the one back to the wall. He barely even looked at her. Leaving her with the chair against the wall, she started walking over to sit but was stopped by the waiter who gave her a small smile. He pulled out her chair for her and waited until she was comfortably sitting before leaving them. She thanked him with a small nod and looked at the man sitting across from her, there was no doubt in her mind that he didn’t want to be here either. She wondered why he accepted to do this, clearly he had to be coerced into it otherwise he wouldn’t be here.

She was surprised to learn that he was here of his own free will.

‘’I like those kinds of dates, '’ he started. Dates, plural. Not his first time doing this.

‘’I like to see what kind of sad woman needs her parents to set her up on dates with men.’’ He snickered. ‘’Couldn’t find anyone to love you on your own uh?’’ He added with a mocking tone, pouting to mock her even more.

As rude as he was, Charlie sincerely didn’t care about what he said. He didn’t mean anything to her and his opinion meant even less.

Her eyes drifted to the window, watching people walk by as they looked curiously into the restaurants. Human nature, always so curious. The man in front of her kept talking, never noticing that she wasn’t listening to a single word he said.

The people on the street were much more interesting than he was, she was almost amused; a small smile at the corner of her lips. Her arm was resting on the table and her hand was under her chin, holding her head up. The small smile quickly faded when her eyes met with someone’s on the street. She sat straighter in her chair, her hand falling on the table. The pit in her stomach got even worse, the lump in her throat that had rapidly formed made it hard to swallow or breathe.

It was the first time she had seen him ever since that night almost 3 weeks ago. Bucky.

They both froze into place, even though a window separated them. Her heart started beating faster, just as his did too.

He had managed to avoid running into her for the past 3 weeks. Avoiding every place he knew she went to often, taking a different way home in case Steve would be bringing her over as he lived close to him. He thought that going out for a walk on a Saturday night would be safe, she usually spent her Saturday reading books or by sorting them and rearranging her shelves. He really didn’t expect to see her and the way her expression changed, Bucky knew she hadn’t expected to see him either. He finally broke eye contact, looking her over. It felt like he hadn’t seen her in months, when in reality it had only been a few weeks.

He noticed how dolled up she was and how beautiful she looked. He started moving before he even realized it, walking towards her.

When Bucky broke eye contact, Charlie also took the time to look him over. She wondered if his hair had always had that cute little curl at the front of it. As he started walking closer, her heartbeat picked up. Her heart was beating so fast and so loud that she was sure everyone in the restaurant could hear it.

That’s when he finally saw him; the reason that she was out on a Saturday night, the reason why she looked so beautiful. Number One.

It was like he had been in a trance when his eyes met hers, for a few moments he had forgotten why she wasn’t in his life anymore and why he couldn’t hear his favorite sound again, the sound of her laugh but when he saw the man sitting across from her, everything came rushing back and he was brought back to reality.

He stopped walking, meeting her eyes one more time; so many emotions went through his head and showed in his eyes. He sincerely hoped that everything he had wanted to say and every apology he had been dying to confess could be seen in his eyes.

Then, he turned around and walked away, disappearing as quickly as he had appeared.

Charlie spent the entire date thinking about Bucky and the look in his eyes. He looked so sad but why? He never cared about her, he told her so himself. Hundreds of questions were running through her mind while she ate. She had barely ordered anything, she had lost her appetite.

When the check came, she was glad she did. Number One paid for his half and then pointed to Charlie, talking to the waiter like she wasn’t even there.

‘’She’ll take care of the rest.’’ He said, with a smirk.

The jerk. He wanted her to not be able to pay, to ask him to pay for her half because she didn’t have any money. He wanted her to feel humiliated. Can’t find a man and can’t pay for yourself? Pathetic. She could almost hear him say those words, his smug expression said it all.

Charlie looked at the waiter with a big, genuine smile on her face before grabbing the clutch that rested on the table next to her and opening it.

‘’With pleasure.’’ She said, pulling out a few bills and handing them over to the waiter.

He stopped smiling instantly, clearly angry that she hadn’t needed to beg for him to pay for her meal. It seemed like her parents had left out the part about how she worked everyday, which almost meant she got a paycheck every other week.

Now, he was the one feeling embarrassed. She had completely turned the situation on him and he ended up looking like the cheap date who couldn’t afford taking out women in places like the one they were in right now.

The waiter looked down at Charlie, grinning. He had seen and heard everything Number One had said and done since they had walked in and he was glad to see her put him back in his place.

They walked out of the restaurant and Charlie swore she could see smoke coming out of his ears. He waved over a cab and turned his face to look at Charlie.

‘’You can find your own way home.’’ He said coldly before sitting in the cab and closing the door, telling the driver to go.

Charlie sighed. Although he was extremely rude and she absolutely despised him, she really didn’t feel like walking home alone. Especially not in this dress and those shoes. Her dinner had been expensive and she didn’t have any money left to get a cab.

‘’What a jerk.’’ She said out loud, angry.

Suddenly she felt someone behind her, standing close to her. Too close. A hand rested on her left shoulder before it ran down her arm, fingertips brushing against her skin. They were the kind of little touches that would have made her swoon if she hadn’t been so terrified.

‘’Bad date?’’ Was whispered in her ear as the hand on her left arm reached hers, closing around it.

***

As I promised yesterday, chapter 7 is here! I hope you enjoyed it, let me know what you think.

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6rookie-writer0110 · 4 years ago

Text

Help me to stop running in the dark

Sam Arias x Male Reader

Request- Can you do a male reader Story for dating sam arais and being Ruby's father and R used to date in there teen years but had a nasty break because they nurt each other. They meet again in season 4 and they slowly trust each other and got back together and tells R that Ruby's father and he blames the condom. Ruby finding out as well. R is like goku and had ultra instinct without any draw backs and he can go ssj to sjj4 to sjj god and super sayian blue . In earth 38 sayians exists. Can you include in the story of sam arias request that R has a son named Gohan and his a sayian hybrid

National City, is your new home. You and your son just unpacked the last box and you are happy about it.

”Dad, why I can't go to work with you?” Gohan asked.

”I can't watch you and do my job. But I promise I will give you the tour where I work” You said.

”Sounds boring,” Gohan said.

”Best part, they have a training room,” You said.

He smiled and he wants to go now. You are a single father with a son named Gohan and he is twelve years old. You accepted a new job at the DEO, agent and a scientist also as a doctor. You worked hard in college it wasn't easy with raising a kid and going to school. You have always been into martial arts, your son Gohan loves to train and he is a huge fan of martial arts.

”That's great! Let's go now!” Gohan yelled with joy.

”Because you have school today and you can't be absent,” You said.

”Why, I can't miss one day?” Gohan asked.

”I told you your studies are very important and you need good grades,” You said.

He pouts and crossed his arms.

”Fine” Gohan said.

---

You took him to school then you went to work. J'onn gave you the tour of the DEO, he introduced you to Winn, Nia, Alex, James, Brainy, and Kara but as supergirl. While doing your work, you heard someone shouting and you recognize the voice. You stand up and followed the voice, you see Brainy, Alex, and Kara talking to Vegeta.

”About time you showed up, Y/N,” Vegeta said.

”You know him?” Kara asked.

”We caught him fighting and he caused the earth to crack,” Alex said.

”He is not the enemy and yes I do know him,” You said.

”How can you be sure?” Brainy asked.

”Because he trained me. And he has saved the earth countless times. Vegeta, there is a training room we can use and they have the option of using powers or not. Are you in?” You said.

”I will still beat you with powers or without powers,” Vegeta said.

You and Vegeta left the room, they are confused about what just happened.

”You have to work!” Alex yelled.

”I will do it later!” You yelled back.

It was a slow day at the DEO, and you were bored in your lab.

Vegeta turns Super Saiyan 4 and you start to get ready. Vegeta cracked his knuckles and he gets into his stance now you start to turn Super Saiyan blue.

Alex, Kara, and Brainy wanted to watch. They knew you had powers but didn't know what it was.

”I’m ready,” You said.

” Let's start,” Vegeta said.

You and Vegeta throw the first punches, it caused the building to shake a little bit. Vegeta kicked your arm and you fell down, but you jumped back up fast. You and Vegeta keep fighting and not backing down.

”He is really strong,” Kara said.

”He is. I never saw two people fight like that before” Alex said.

They keep watching you and Vegeta fight.

✯ ✬ ✯ ✬

There is a charity event which Lena is hosting. You had to go because you and others want to catch Lillian at the party. You are at the bar and you are looking around and Kara is talking to Lena.

”Y/N?”

You turned to your right and it's Sam Arias.

”Wow, Sam!” You cheerfully said.

She hugged you and you hugged her back. You and Sam missed each other so badly.

”What are you doing here in National City?” Sam asked.

”I just moved here with my son and I work for the DEO. What about you?” You said.

”You have a son?” Sam asked in shock.

You nod.

”Yeah, I have a son named Gohan. I'm a single parent. So tell me about you” You said.

You and Sam used to date in high school, but you two were immature. The break up was nasty since Sam disappeared and you never heard of her for many years. She does know about your superpowers.

”After our break, I moved to Metropolis. I have been living there for many years now I live here in National City. I work for Lena Luthor” Sam said.

”Sam, I'm sorry I hurt you back in high school. I was immature and an idiot, I'm sorry and I hope we can start over” You said.

Sam wanted to tell you something but she changed her mind.

”Y/N, I'm sorry too. We were both idiots and we can start over. I really missed you” Sam said.

”I missed you too,” You said.

Lillian crashed the party but she isn't alone. You turned Super Saiyan and Lillian starts to attack.

”Sam, go now,” You said.

”Okay. Y/N be safe” Sam said.

”I will,” You said.

You start to fight Lillian but you had to hold back. She does have the Luthor suit but you didn't want to injure her. You made sure Sam is safe, Kara and Lillian start to fright and you help Alex save people.

You saw Metallo trying to kill Sam. You snapped and you went Super Saiyan rose.

”Stay away from her!” You yelled.

Everyone saw that your hair changed to pink. You punched him and he hits the wall, he gets back up.

”What are you?” Metallo asked.

”Does it matter? I will make you pay for hurting her” You said.

He laughed.

”Oh, I hurt your girlfriend” Metallo mocked.

You and Metallo start to fight. You easily dodged his attacks, he is nowhere near your speed and reflexes. You punched him in the face than in the stomach, the enemies start to run towards you but you easily start to defeat them. You did toy with them then you only had to use one or two attacks to defeat them.

---

At the DEO, Alex made sure that Sam is okay. You went to see Sam, Kara, and Alex are there.

”Are you okay?” You asked.

”Yeah, I'm okay,” Sam said.

”Y/N where are you from? I never saw anyone turn pink like you” Kara said.

”I am a Super Saiyan. I used to have a home called Planet Vegeta, it's located in the south Galaxy. But my home was destroyed by a fire and many people died. There are different levels of Super Saiyan, that people can change into different colors. Super Saiyan Pink, which is the highest and strongest level” You said.

”I know what it's like to lose a home,” Kara said.

---

Gohan is on cloud Nimbus, he got bored at home and went for a ride. He knows where you work and he got inside and saw you.

”Dad!!!” Gohan yelled with joy.

You are still with Sam, Winn, Alex, and Kara. Gohan jumped on you and he hugged you.

”You have a son?” Alex asked.

”Yes, this is my son Gohan,” You said.

”Hi!!” Gohan smiled big.

”What is that!?” Winn and Kara asked.

”This is Nimbus a cloud, it takes anywhere we want to go,” You said.

”Can we ride Nimbus?” Kara asked.

”Please,” Winn said.

”Yes. Gogan, make sure them how to ride Nimbus” You said.

”Yay!!” They cheered.

You and Sam watched them ride Nimbus.

”He is cute,” Sam said.

”Thanks, he gets it from me,” You said

You and Sam laughed.

✯ ✬ ✯ ✬

Weeks went by you and Sam have been spending time together. Slowly trusting each other and you're still in love with her. But you haven't told her yet, you want to but you don't know if she will feel the same. You went to see Lena Luthor

”What I can do for you, Y/N,” Lena said.

”Lena, I need your help. Can... You maybe find out if Sam likes me?” You said.

”Didn't you used to date Sam in high school?” Lena asked.

”Yeah, we used to date but the breakup was nasty and I was immature. I'm still in love with her and I want to know if she feels the same. You and Sam are close and maybe if you can find out for me” You said.

Lena starts to think. You and Lena do get along but don't know each other too well.

”Okay, Y/N I will find out for you. Don't hurt her again or I’m going after you” Lena said.

”I won't hurt her again, you my word,” You said.

”Good,” Lena said.

You smiled at Lena.

---

Lena did find out if Sam has feelings for you and Lena said yes. You couldn't stop smiling and your heart raced when you thought about her.

You are training with Vegeta and Gohan. You have bee training all day and your body is feeling sore. Vegeta always pushes you over the limit. Sam came over and she saw your abs, her face turned red. She tried not to stare but you saw it and smirked.

”Y/N, can we talk in private?” Sam asked.

”Um sure. Just let me clean up then we talk” You said.

”Yeah,” Sam said.

You see Gohan and Sam talking to each other and they are getting along.

---

You and Sam go somewhere private to talk.

”What’s wrong?” You asked.

”There was a reason why I disappeared in high school,” Sam said.

”Because?” You said.

”You got me pregnant. I told my mom but she kicked me out and I was angry at everyone, you and especially at myself. I just packed my things and left and I raised our daughter Ruby, on my own. Y/N, you have a daughter” Sam said.

Your eyes opened very wide and you had no idea what to say.

”But we used a condom!” You yelled.

”It was broken or it popped,” Sam said.

”You think I can sue the company who made the condom?-”

Sam laughed.

”You're such an idiot” Sam is still laughing.

”Sam! I am serious I want to sue them” You said.

”You will lose the case. Y/N, how do you feel about it? I know you missed a lot but I was-” Sam said.

You started to ramble on about suing the company. To make you stop, Sam kissed you and you kissed her back.

”Wow,” You said.

”Yeah. It was to make you stop talking about the condom” Sam said.

You nod.

✯ ✬ ✯ ✬

Days later, Sam told Ruby that you're her father. Gohan did meet Ruby and they are getting along.

”Why my mom didn't like you in high school?” Ruby asked.

”We didn't like each other when we first met each other. She thought I was annoying but we had the same classes. We had to work on a project together and she wasn't happy. The more spend the time we spent together we started to like each other” You said.

”How about now?” Ruby asked.

”We want to make it work and be a couple again. I want you and Gohan to have a bond” You said.

”It will be cool to have a little brother,” Ruby said.

”So cool I have a sister and someone to play with” Gohan smiled.

---

You are at Sam’s house with Gohan. You are making pancakes and you know that Sam loves pancakes. Everyone is starting to eat pancakes.

”Mom, these pancakes are better than yours,” Ruby said.

”Her nickname is pancakes because that's what she loves the most when it comes to food” You teased.

Ruby and Gohan giggled.

”Y/N, shut up,” Sam said.

You winked at her and she kissed you.

”Guys gross, we are eating,” Ruby said.

You and Sam kissed again.

”More for me,” Gohan said

He stole Sam and your pancakes and started to eat it.

Later, you and Sam take the kids ice skating. Everyone is having fun and Gohan doesn't know how to skate, he kept falling down hard. You and Sam start to teach him how to skate. Everyone is having fun, you or Sam can't stop smiling at each other.

#Sam Arias x Male Reader #sam arias x reader #sam arias imagine #supergirl imagine

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khaleesiofalicante · 4 years ago

Note

(Anon with AnnaxAriadne wallpaper) I barely talk to my dad. Or at least, spent time together. Growing up, he was always in the computer, always working or doing something and we only saw him when he was eating or the rare times he accepted to watch a movie with us. When i was maybe 13 or 14, he tried to amend it, to be more present and make jokes, but it was just plain awkward because we didn't know how to being around to him like that instead of hearing him talk about work. I'm 17 and (part 1)

(Part 2) and while it is better, there are times when he makes jokes that it's still jarring because it's not the sour face he almost always had. And now with quarantine, both him and my mom are almost all week working on their computers, even on the weekends. I changed the wallpaper two weeks ago, absolutely no noticed, and the only he now knows was because my phone was malfunctioning and he was the only one who could help. I nearly had a heart attack when i gave him the phone and he...

(Part 3) made a noise of surprise and i realized why exactly he could had seen. I wanted to hide on the spot. And the asked loudly why i have to women kissing which fantastic because now my mom knows, and she is like him. She scoffed when i tried to explain genderfluid people, since there's a character like that in the book she's reading, that i recommended, and i won't ever forget when she suggested going to therapy when i tried to tell her about never feeling sexual attraction...

(Part 4) when i was testing the waters to see if i could tell her about being ace. That shut me up real quick. My point is, if i now tried to explain my dad about Anna and the rest of the TSC characters, it would had to be with my mom there and even if she wasn't there, i don't know what, exactly, i should say. They are the kind of people to tell me "i haven't meet the right guy yet" or say i can't be ace since i right now i am liking a boy i meet from school. Asexuality doesn't work like that!...

(Part 5) So yeah, i am doomed. I don't know what to do. I should had changed my background before giving my dad the phone, i should had done a lot of things different. They say they are not homophobic because they believe gay people shouldn't be oppress but i nearly exploded when my mom asked why they call bisexual people like that instead of gay since it is the same thing, less of a headache. She also said that the lgbt+ just keeps making up labels to feel special, please kill me now.

Hello, again.

I just want to quickly say thank you for telling me all this. It’s not easy to talk about things that trouble you and make you feel bad - even online and even on anonymous. So, thank you. I have always admired people who are able to talk about their pain as it is something I have never been able to do.

And I am sorry. I am really sorry that you have to live in a space where you have to explain your existence. The ignorance on asexuality is staggering - but it is not surprising that we don’t see people talking about it. Honestly, other than people here on tumblr, I don’t see people discussing asexuality at all. I work with lgbt communities and even they don’t talk about it. So, it is really difficult to start conversations about sexuality - especially with parents as the idea seems completely alien to them.

But I really really appreciate you trying to make an effort. I cannot tell you how happy it makes me that you are trying to talk to your parents. The fact that you accepted your sexuality, despite growing in such a restrictive environment - that in itself is an incredible milestone. I am so proud of you. I hope you know that.

My 17 year old self can relate to everything you shared. My family doesn’t talk about sexuality at all since we are just not that kind of people. At least we weren’t a few years ago. I think about where we are now and it seems like we are completely different people. Of course, my mom still has the whole ‘you can support lgbt people and be friends with them but gosh I hope you are not one of them’ attitude. But comparing to who she was five years ago, this is a massive improvement. And I am hoping it will get even better in the future.

What I am trying to say is that as long as you don’t give up on your family and yourself - you can always make it better. It is not easy at all and sometimes you just get so frustrated that you want to give up - because fuck why do we need to tell an adult how to be kind and respectful and accepting? But unfortunately it is our battle and we must fight if we want to win.

From what you said - I kind of gathered that your parents want to make an effort. Despite their mistakes in the past, they want to make it better. They are trying too - in their own way. So, I really do believe there is something that can be done here.

It’s okay if you can’t sit down and have conversations - I didn’t get here in a day either. It took me years. So, think of what will work with your family. I think you should make use of all this time you spend together in isolation.

For example, something that might work is having a movie night once a week. Talk to your parents and ask if you could all watch a movie together - just once a week. Figure out a time that works for every one of you and you must all commit. It’s not a demanding thing to ask and it might be fun. I hope your parents agree to this.

Every week, each person in the family can get to pick a movie they want to share the rest of them. So, week one your mom gets to choose, then your dad, then you. This way, you are making it equal so that the family time is not dictated by one person.

When it is your turn to pick the movie, I would suggest you to pick one with queer representation. But you have to go easy on them. Baby steps, okay? Do not pick movies with sex scenes or too much angst. Something very breezy. Actually, start with movies where queer people are side characters - try to avoid cliche movies and stereotypes and had bad writing. You have to ease them into it. Then you can slowly move towards movies that have queer couples are the mains.

For example, my mom and I watched BoRap last year and she fucking loved it - she wouldn’t have if we watched five years ago, but she does now. Also, try to find movies that represent your own culture since a lot of parents think that being gay is a western thing.

I know this sounds like an assignment - and I am sorry about that. But it worked for me and I hope it will work for you. I am reminding you again that this is a lot of work and patience and effort and compromise. But I love my family and I want them to be a part of my life. So, I made an effort and it made all the difference in my life.

So, don’t give up on them and don’t give up on yourself. I am not saying ‘oh you are so young it will get better with time’ - it fucking doesn’t, not unless both parties are willing to work on making it better.

So do your part - and I hope your parents do their role too. Good luck, brave annie. I hope it works out. If it doesn’t, we can always figure out something else :)

#dani talks #lgbt #asexuality

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eds-zebra-warrior · 3 years ago

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2021 Ehlers Danlos Society Awareness Month (Day 18 Prompt: Words to Parents)

I am interpreting this prompt in two different ways so will address it as such starting with explaining how my parents are with my condition and then words to parents of kids newly diagnosed or who present with a wide array of symptoms.

My parents were awesome prior to my diagnosis. There were things I wish they had known and even now wish they knew but I almost always had that support system some don't have. Sure there were a lot of times I would tell my mom I was having chest pain or my heart was pounding where she would say “It's probably just anxiety” and of course when anyone has a headache, runny nose, stuffy nose, scratchy throat or generally coming down with some kind of bug her notorious saying was “It’s probably just your sinuses” which me and my dad still talk about to this day. She went decades of her life taking Sudafed every morning truly believing she just had bad sinuses to find out years later she was actually having an allergic reaction the entire time due to Systemic Mastocitosis and really needed allergy meds and since she had bad sinus issues she seemed to think anything and almost everything that someone was experiencing from the lungs lungs up, weather it be a migraine, eye pain, sore throat, coughing, going horse, runny nose, bloody nose etc. it was just your sinuses which usually wasn't the case because soon after I would test positive for strep throat, oh the times I had strep throat. I had it so often that when I got it, I started not even noticing the throat pain believing my mom that it was my sinuses but more major like a sinus infection, to go to the doctor and find I had strep again and was desensitized to the pain. Sometimes my whole throat and mouth would be covered in blisters before the pain was bad enough just because I always had strep. Occasionally it was other things like my migraines growing up I now know were from Occipital neuralgia, craniocervical and atlantoaxial instability. So she didn't always take me seriously but I have to admit, after two decades of your life being told you're a hypochondriac and your symptoms are all in your head, I started to believe I was crazy myself and that my symptoms either weren't real or much less severe than they really were.

My dad being autistic never really dealt with my health stuff very much. He just isn't knowledgeable in it and has no clue what to do so my mom was the one who did that. Though she pawned off a lot of my more serious issues on it all being on my head she was always there for me. She took me to the hospital if it was needed and knew I didn't say I needed to go to the hospital unless I really felt like death. There have been several times where doctors have tried to say nothing is wrong and send me home where she has literally refused to take me home or argued with doctors but this was mostly after my diagnosis. I kind of wish she would have done this and pushed harder when I was a kid as she very much has, I guess you would call it brand loyalty but it went further than only grocery shopping at Meijer, literally fighting with me for years about leaving Verizon because in her mind Verizon was the only company that was any good, only allowing one person to cut her hair even if it meant following her to a new job, she had a doctor she liked and stayed with him for most of my life and denied he wasn't a good doctor after an incident in high school which caused me to switch. It's hard for her to move on even if there is no progress or things start to get worse so one thing I wish is she would have done a little more doctor shopping when I was a kid.

Doctor shopping is oftentimes frowned upon at and when most people hear of doctor shopping they tend to think of it as someone who goes from doctor to doctor looking for drugs or or to sign disability papers so they can get a free ride at life but when you have a rare disease doctor shopping means something totally different and can even be so vitally important your life and future depends on it. I had so many doctors who simply invalidated my symptoms saying I was making them up for attention or had a mental illness. Many of these doctors did nothing at all but the majority of them did the exact same tests over and over. If it was a doctor outside of the hospital they did a CBC, Chem. and a 7 (Basic Metabolic Panel) which always came back normal or borderline normal therefore they deemed me healthy, slapped a psychiatric disorder on me or simply said there's nothing wrong and sent me on my way,

If I went to the hospital, they would do the CBC, Chem. 7, accuse me of doing drugs or being pregnant or when I was really little bring in case managers making accusations of child abuse that wasn't happening, then do a drug test, pregnancy test and STD testing, say the CBC and Chem. 7 were normal or near normal, congratulate me on not being pregnant, having any illegal substances in my system or STD’s, slap a psychiatric disorder on me saying they tested everything and sent me home. When I got older, lucky me, I got two drug tests, the urinalysis drug test and when it came back normal, they would come in and draw my blood assuming if I was having seizures, passing out or having heart palpitations I must be on drugs and tampered with the urine test. I wish prior to my diagnosis my dad would have had a computer and learned to use it and both my parents would have done more research. I also wish they had advocated for me better and if one doctor said they didn't know or didn't believe me, they would have moved on to another doctor because if I could have gotten diagnosed sponsor it would have saved me some permanent damage to my body that I have now and possibly spared me some of the medical abuse and neglect though even with a diagnosis you can't avoid it, especially when it comes to the hospital.

Doctors and nurses are just as lazy as everyone else. It's just like every other job where 5% of the employees do 90% of the work and 90% of the employees do 5% of the work. The ones who actually take their jobs seriously are used to the max by their coworkers and like me when I was a nurse, didn’t believe the patients deserved to suffer or pay for their staffs laziness and neglect and those are the ones who try to play superman taking on their patients and everyone else's, answering call lights that aren't theirs, bringing food to others patients, making sure they are turned or their catheters have been emptied and generally running around like a chicken with their head cut off and I can always tell who falls into the 90% who uses the 5%, carrying less about the patient as long as they get a paycheck and the 5% who look like they are about to fall over yet still giving what they don't have to make sure the patient doesn't pay for their lazy staff member.

It's very easy to tell when you have spent a large portion of your life in doctors offices and hospitals and learn how rare it is to get one of the people in the 5% as your medical personnel and watching the lazy staff you have out your door at the nurses station sitting with other lazy staff in front a computer laughing at a YouTube video their watching, gossiping and talking badly about another patient loud enough for you to hear, playing pranks on each other, one nurse who drops her pants moons another in a room of 9-11 year old little boys, The nurse who has the pediatric patient who flat lines, on bad days, it's not uncommon for this to happen 20 times in one day and at their best, at the very least multiple times a week. The patient's vitals are linked to a pager the nurse carries so if the patient's heart stops the pager will alert them yet they consistently leave the pager in the patient's bed, on their night stand, at one of the computer kiosks where nurses chart, in another patients room, in the activity room or god knows where. I've found it in the bathroom on the toilet paper mount, in the linen closet on top of some towels, you name it then this same nurse who is buddy buddy with the nurse slips away with a coworker to the activity room or to the nurses lounge for you to later walk in on them playing cards and talking bad about patients or other staff. The two nurses going through a wedding magazine, looking at dresses and hear one say “That's my room”, and the other one say “Just ignore it and let Janett get it” Yes these are true stories down to the name used for the poor nurse who was running around like a chicken with her head cut off. All experiences I have seen either in the roll of the nurse and in the roll of the patient.

I was mostly around nurses and of course you don't see doctors very often but being in a chair I have been forced to use a bedpan before and seen examples similar to this with doctors as well. Once I was taken downstairs for a cardiac ultrasound, asking to go to the bathroom before they took me down because I had my call light on to go before transport even came in my room. They told me I would only be down there 10 or 15 minutes and asked me if I could wait. They took me down there to beds of people lining the halls and I had 18 people in front of me. Well, 15 minutes turned into 4 hours. I asked multiple times to go to the bathroom and they said they don't have a wheelchair down there and if I can't walk to the bathroom I have to hold it. I even asked if they could call up to my room and have my mom bring my chair down and as gross as it sounds, I even got desperate, breaking into a sweat I had to pee so bad and asked them to wheel my bed outside the bathroom and lower it as low as it goes, and I would put my blanket and pillows on the floor and slide out of my bed onto the floor myself and they can pull me on the blanket to the toilet or I could army crawl and use my arms to pull myself up onto the toilet. They still said no. I asked earlier on if they could take me back to my room or bring a wheelchair, still no.

Eventually I told one of the nurses that I had to pee for 3.5 hours, she saw that I was all sweaty and shaking. I said if they don’t get me somewhere to pee within the next few minutes they were going to have a huge mess to clean up. She grabbed two bedpans, a small one and a bit one, said you're tiny and I told her no, use the big one, I have EDS so my bladder can stretch really far and I can easily pee 22 oz. so she rolled me into a doctor's personal office, he was in there watching a movie on Netflix on his computer, yes a full blown Netflix movie. He tried to flip the screen back to an ultrasound image really quick when the nurse stormed in with me to make it look like that's what he was doing but he fumbled around a little bit and wasn't fast enough. The nurse told him to get out so he left and I had to pee in a bed pan in his office… then spent the next few weeks having to wear diapers for bladder leaks because they let me hold my bladder so long my bladder stretched out too much from hypermobility and it folded on top of itself resulting in bladder leaks until it shrink back down. Thank you OSU. Doctors can also be extremely lazy and I wish this was something my parents acknowledged more or took more notice of and fought more for me, looked more into my rights, such as being able to call a patient advocate or fire doctors and nurses which is something I had to find out myself.

I found out I had EDS before I was even diagnosed which is what made me fight so hard to find a doctor who has heard of it. I got desperate being sick and spent years learning how to find and read medical journals. When Facebook started having groups I started joining groups to ask questions, I started going to doctors and no longer letting them call the shots. If they said they wanted to do a Chem. 7 and CBC I would say that's fine if they want to but it will come back normal and start requesting tests that aren't considered standard and that are used to test for specific conditions rather than just evaluating me for acute conditions. I started walking in and telling doctors how I felt and when they either said well we will see you in a year to see if things change or wanting to run just the basic CBC and Chem. 7 I would start saying “Could you run a 24 hour Tryptase Urinalysis”, “Could you run a gastric emptying study”, “could you run a 24 hour urine for Cortisol levels”, “could you run an ELISA”, “would you write for a flexion/extension MRI with contrast”, “What about a rotational CT” “Everyone wants to do a colonoscopy but instead of ordering that can you order an Endoscopy this time?” “I would like to get an “ATCH Stem test”, “I know you have never heard of one but if I email you the information will you order a Tilt Table Test”, “You’re doing that Aortic Ultrasound without contrast? It’s supposed to be done with contrast. Could you call up to the doctor and ask him to add contrast before you start?”

Sure a lot of doctors would downright refuse. I have gone in 5 and 6 times asking for a test and being told no, only to go in the 7th time and be told “It will come back negative but if I order this will you quit bugging me about it?” for them to order it and the test to come back positive for the condition I wanted it ordered for then they treat me like total crap to the point the office staff is mentioning about how bad he is treating me to find out he’s doing it on purpose to try to get rid of me as a patient, probably because he realized what he said was really wrong and he made himself look bad. I have learned that if a doctor isn't willing to listen to move on and find someone who will. You need to find one who is willing to run the test or even just ask if I can email them some medical journals or information about the test or showing the importance of it or why I believe it needs done, willing to learn and if I can prove my case they will order it no problem.

I wish I had someone who started this for me as a child who did the research or helped me do the research to know what tests to ask for and to find a new doctor for me if one was either trying to slap a psychiatric label on me or acted interested but simply refused to run any tests so my care went stagnant. I still wish my parents knew the ins and outs of EDS like I do and really researched it because it makes me a little nervous when a squad is called and they are stumbling over my diagnosis or saying “She has oh, that one heart thing that makes it go really fast. Oh what's it called or only naming like two of my conditions. It also scares me that one day I will be rushed in internally bleeding since things like Aortic Dissection, Carotid Dissection, Mesenteric Dissection, Iliac Dissection or Femoral Dissection as well as uterine and bowel rupture are common and can happen very suddenly in EDS that my parents may not know the common areas for bleeds or know them from most to least common so they may not know where to look or may not realize its actually internal bleeding at all until it's too late.

With all of the craniocervical manifestations I also fear I will be sent in for respiratory distress a or something else emergent relating to my craniocervical instability and my family family won’t realize its from the instability and if they do they wont know where to find information to prove this to a doctor or who the five surgeons in the US are who can operate on it so I will either end up on life support until someone gives up on finding the root of the problem which I knew all along what it was but couldn't tell anyone and pulls the plug, unable to tell anyone what is happening and advocate for myself, die before they even get a chance to hook me up to life support or end up under the knife of a surgeon who has absolutely no clue how to do the surgery I need and what modifications and special precautions need to be made for someone with EDS and I will die on the table like a few others I know or the last scenario, where I will have the surgery, wake up from it and it will be so botched that I’m one of the ones walking around with broken hardware, screws drilled into my spinal cord and paralyzed from the neck down, in more pain than I am now and the damage is too extensive to be repaired.

It's so important for the patient and their family to have very extensive knowledge of the condition since it's very complex and there are a lot of things that can go wrong at any given time. It's important to know what symptoms you are experiencing at any given time are associated with or at least the ability to know what medical emergencies are more common in EDS patients and the ability to narrow it down to 2 or 3 possibilities because most medical professionals don't learn about EDS or learn very little.

Just to put the complexity of the condition into perspective let's say you wanted to buy a book that taught you about diabetes and it was 500 pages long but you wanted to also buy a book on Ehlers Danlos Syndrome and be just as knowledgeable by the time you finish about EDS as you are when you finish the book on diabetes, there are about 15 common comorbidities of diabetes and about 250 common comorbidities of EDS. Diabetes can affect a handful of other organ systems however EDS effects every single part of the body so if you wanted to be just as knowledgeable about EDS as you would about Diabetes after reading a 500 page book about it and its comorbidities, given they were only allowed to give you more basic knowledge of comorbidities, say 10-15 pages per comorbidity, depending on its complexity and the rest on Diabetes you would have to read about 4,573 pages and that's only for hypermobile form of EDS which is broken down into trifecta so I gave 15 pages to each comorbidity of diabetes, were going to assume this book is on type 1 diabetes given there are 2 types of diabetes and 13+ types of EDS so after giving 15 pages to the comorbidities the remaining was for the condition itself. Since hypermobile is usually seen in the trifecta I had to multiple the remaining pages by three then add 15 pages for each comorbidity to get the total number of pages and even this is a very rough estimate since we need to consider how many organ systems are involved in each and how complex the comorbidity.

In most medical textbooks EDS is not listed at all or is only condensed into a few paragraphs at the very most while learning about collagen and connective tissue so if anyone in the medical field learns about it at all its very very little, so little that they can easily forget those one or two paragraphs they read our of the thousands of pages they read during medical school.

Now I know it sounds like I’m talking bad about my parents but that's not the case at all. My parents are incredible and so much better with my condition than a lot of others. They may not know the ins and outs of this but they know I am not faking anything, I’m not exaggerating, they know, especially with my PTSD, that if I go to the hospital I am pretty darn sick and know when to make me go if I continue refusing to go to the hospital. They don't want to talk about it or admit it so will often downplay the fact that death can happen very easily and at any time and I am not going to live an average life expectancy. They may avoid talking about it or downplay it but I know they know just how serious this is but they already lost their son and don't want to lose their daughter so avoid the topic.

They refused to let me be sent to a nursing home or long term care facility when we were told I could no longer live alone and brought me into their house. They help me with a lot of my needs. Heck, my mom has given me baths as an adult because I have been too sick to do so. My mom helped with training Maggie to be a service animal, making sure I made it to all of her classes, helping me teach tasks I struggled with due to being in a chair, using her commands so she gets practice and doesn’t forget what she has learned. My dad not so much. He's a softie that has let every animal we have ever owned, own him. If it were up to him to do the training, Maggie probably wouldn't even be house broken yet if I’m totally honest lol. They have taken on so much with me and though I appreciate it more than they could ever know I also feel terrible guilt surrounding all that they do.

They have to drive me everywhere. The safety of public transportation in America for people on Medicare is downright deplorable. Only one agency contracted by Medicare has seat belts for wheelchair users, most of the vans are from the 90s and not up to code. They are actually so old that someone who is disabled isn't even allowed to buy one for personal at the age the ones the state provides transportation in here in Ohio because they don't meet the safety requirements even for the minimum amount of insurance yet a cab company is allowed to purchase and insure them to transport the disabled in. Its one of those things where it's illegal for the members of the state but the rule doesn't apply to the government kind of things. Their extremely dangerous, I have been in ones in my 425 lb. wheelchair, with my112 lb. self my 17 lb. service dog in her one or two pounds of gear and a backpack on the back of my chair with my meds and maybe some food and a drink in it to take to a doctors appointment so maybe another 10 or so lbs. of weight, riding in a van and staring through the rust holes in the floor looking at t the rusty parts under the van and the pavement of the highway underneath me, hoping to god the floor doesn't give way to all of this weight so I don't fall through.

I've been in two accidents with drivers, most of these drivers smell of mamajuana when they come and one of them had a rink that had a little tiny canister on it (If I remember I’ll post a picture I secretly took of it” at a stop light he opened the little can, poured white powder into his hand, used his other finger to brush it into a pile in his palm and then snorted it up his nose. I have ridden in vans someone threw up all over, one that the door to the wheelchair lift had 3 of its 4 hinges rusted all the way through so when the driver opened the door he had to hold it with one hand because it was hanging on there sideways like a broken cabinet door with only the bottom hinge still attached, got me up the lift then shut the door, came inside and used a bungie, hooking it in a hole that it looked like was drilled into the door and then a natural hole where the raised roof of the van and the bottom of the van attaches in a hole that didn't have a bolt. It was a really windy day and on the way back, we were driving down my road, a gust of wind blew, the bungee snapped, almost hitting me in the face, the door flew open and the last hinge snapped with the door flying off and into the gutter along the side of the road. We were right down the road from my house and the driver casually said “I'll go ahead and drop you off first and grab that on my way back.” like that kind of thing happens every day or something.

I have had a driver ask to stop at a gas station and I told him that was fine thinking he needed gas. He pulled up beside the end pump and instead of getting gas we sat there for about 3 minutes when another guy in a red truck pulled up along the side of the building. The driver got out of the van and went around the side of the building where the truck was. All I could see was the back of the truck sticking, about a minute later my driver came out from behind the truck, sticking something in his front pocket, the truck left and then we left. I was hoping to god it was just his brother or roommate or someone giving him some money for lunch or something but for real, a wallet goes in the back pocket and what he had was smaller than a wallet since you couldn't see what was in his hand and most people carry plastic these days so I’m pretty sure I was just hoping it was lunch money out of wishful thinking because with along the side of the building out of view of most of the public and all it seemed pretty sketchy to me.

Anyhow my parents do a lot, they drive me to appointments when they can to try to keep me out of the appalling care of the state, they let me live with them, they provide a lot of care, cooking, doing my laundry, vacuuming and doing a lot of the things that I feel like I should be doing for them at their age. It really does make me feel extremely guilty and like a terrible person. They help with Maggie taking her out just to help me out even though I can usually take her out myself unless it's icy or snowy since she basically takes herself out lol. I can go in the yard with her in the late spring to early fall when it's warm and dry out so my power chair won't sink into the mud. They will pick up food at the store or meds for me they do a lot and with my mom having EDS too, I have seen my mom go down hill a lot since her botched surgery that left her on life support so I hate asking either of them to do anything or for help. My dad is almost 66 and my mom, though 8 years younger gets around worse than my dad does so it's really hard to need so much care and feel like I put it on them, especially when my home health aid was taken away when the pandemic started but of course most of the home health aids I had were so English incompetent's and fresh out of countries where they didn't have stoves or washers and dryers and what not, living in huts that they don't know how to use modern appliances or understand me when I relay my needs which actually made things oftentimes harder with a home health and than without one as my parents were always coming home to fixing messes the aids made too.

With all that being said, here is my advice to parents of kids with suspected EDS. Get them diagnosed as early on as possible. Do lots of research, I know it's a pain and may be a lot of work but the more you know about the condition the better. Don't stop there, learn your rights and laws around medical care and disability rights as well as techniques for advocating for your child. Get them on a 504 plan at their school so they can get the accommodations they need. Learning disabilities aren’t uncommon and the prevalence of high functioning autism is incredibly high in EDS patients so if you suspect they may have a learning disability fight for a diagnosis and have that added to the 504 plan. A 504 plan isn't just for learning disabilities, it can be for physical disabilities as well.

You don't want to caudle you child of course and many don't have a lot of severe symptoms as kids but make sure the plan accommodates for things such as food allergies, if they have POTS or low blood sugar make sure they have it in their plan to be able to bring their own food, be able to eat in class. I know on mine, I was allowed to use the teachers lounge microwave during lunch to heat food brought from home and they allowed me to use the bathroom in the nurse's office if I needed it. You can ask for things like that they not be punished for arriving to class after the bell within reason, especially if the school is large and they may have several classes on the opposite side of the building as their locker so they aren't forced to carry books for multiple classes or for them to have two sets of books, one that they keep at home and one that is in each classroom they attend class in so they aren't having to carry heavy books around or teased for having a backpack on wheels. This is one thing I would have really liked to have written into my IEP as a kid if I had been lucky enough to get diagnosed sooner. If they are more symptomatic, more prone to injury or have VEDS they may have more needs.

Again you don't want to be a helicopter parent and want them to do as much stuff for themselves as it is safe for them to do and want them to have all the experiences other children do but if gym is an issue you can request they don't participate in high contact sports or even have it put into their IEP that they can swap gym out for another elective like music, art or home economics class or in the lower grades where they may not have options for alternative electives you can ask if they have any teachers or aids available during that time frame who can create somewhat of a study hall for the younger child, helping them with their homework, studying for tests, able to sit there and let the child read a book to them and help them with any words they struggle with or even just play some educational games with them or let them play an educational game on the computer.

Some schools also offer physical therapy for kids, especially the ones with developmental delays who may not be mainstreamed and the therapy replaces gym for them. Even if your child has cognitive abilities cohesive with their age, you could see if they are allowed to join therapy with those children. With being able to do so much online now, I have heard of some requesting that on their bad days the teachers live stream them into their classroom so they can participate in class from home when needed or if the child needs a surgery or has a doctors appointment they can live stream in instead of going to school or live stream in part of the day before or after an appointment, going to school the other half of the time. You may also request extended time on homework like instead of turning it all in the next day, ask that they have the week, for example, they have to have all homework turned in from that week by the following Monday so say they are having a really bad day Wednesday and in a lot of pain or very fatigued and can only get their math homework done but not their English, science and history. They will be able to work on that homework throughout the week possibly adding the English to their Thursday homework, the science to their Friday homework and catch up on the history over the weekend so they at least aren’t failing or losing credit on homework if there are a few days a month where they are really struggling or not feeling well.

Another reason I suggest learning everything you can and really fighting for a diagnosis early is because if you work you are more likely to have a PPO insurance plan which covers a lot more than Medicare. You can get some things that Medicare won't cover out of the way in case the child has a possibility of being disabled as an adult. Genetic testing is one thing you really want to try to get done as a child as hospitals in some states like my own will not do genetic testing for EDS on adults unless they have another family member who has tested positive for one of the rarer forms of EDS.

You don't want to be in the situation I am where you have four doctors sure you have Vascular form and have been fighting to get you tested, your brother died before he had any testing, your uncle had an aortic aneurysm and died never getting diagnosed, you were referred to a geneticist who won't test you because you are under 21 and no one in you family has tested positive on genetic testing for VEDS, your mom is referred to genetic testing after coming out of a coma and being on life support after a major organ rupture that almost took her life and turned away for the same reason and your grandfather is referred and turned away leaving multiple members of the family suspected of having EDS but no one able to be tested because we are all over the age of 21 and I can’t have children nor would I want to because of the fear of passing this down to them there will not be anyone under the age of 21 to get tested in order for us to get tested so your stuck without a diagnosis. This is why you need at least a hypermobile diagnosis so you have time to fight for the genetic testing to ensure it isn’t a more serious type, especially if a doctor suspects it.

If your child has severe enough symptoms you can also get them listed as disabled under the state in order to get extra financial aid to cover medical needs not covered or special equipment like gait trainers or possibly a power chair for school and a manual chair at home It can cover the cost of tutoring and several other things insurance may not cover. If they grow up and work for so many years and end up getting worse, needing to go onto SSDI their SSDI it will also make it so that their payout will be higher if its on record that they were disabled before the age of 18.

Having a child with a complex health condition, especially when the condition is rare can be a lot of work and very stressful at times. Definitely learn everything you can and fight for a diagnosis for your child. If you suspect you may have the condition fight for a diagnosis for yourself as well. The sooner anyone starts treatment and can get regular screenings such as those for aortic dissection the more they can prevent damage early on and also prevent life threatening complications so that’s my advice to any parent out there.

#MyEDSChallenge #MyHSDChallenge

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unextordinary-blog · 7 years ago

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My year in one post: 2017

okay so its starting to get closer to the end of the year lets have a recap of 2017.

january: I don't have a job anymore, I am not going to school at the moment, I am moving for the hundredth time, and I have to give up my dog and cat, then someone loses my cat. ( so its safe to say january was definitely not my month) but bright side this is the month where i start to talk to my "future" husband. well sort of (this will be explained in a later month).

february: so it's a new month. I am jobless with no prospect of going back to school until the next semester. on top of that our landlords are total pieces of literal dog shit (like im not kidding they have about 5000 dogs in their house and it smells like dog shit) anyways life is starting to look up JUST THE TINIEST BIT because ya girl got a date. i am dating. newly dating. and on top of that i still don't know that my future husband is single yet. (he doesn't like the idea of me dating)

march: we have officially moved into my moms boyfriends house and i already hate it. Its awful i have no closet, no space, no job, no pets, and no will to live (except for my future husband). Its safe to say my life lowkey sucks because not only do i have a curfew now? I have to pretend to not hate my life and i actually have to get out of the bedroom im staying in (yea thats right im not allowed to call his guest bedroom "my room") my moms boyfriend is a total dickwad. he gets what he deserves in later months tho. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ( WAIT A MINUTE I just got some info that karma was doing her job all along and i completely forgot part of living with my momster and her dickwad was that I had to do all the chores around the house and dickwad left $200 in his pocket when i was doing laundry and i found it. in my defense i tried to tell them about the money but then they got on my ass for talking to them while they were talking or something so i shut up and spent some of the money on a tattoo. it was the best revenge ever. I had been planning on getting one for months and dickwad and momster HATE tattoos and he technically paid for mine and it was great)

April: HOMAGAWD my life is looking up. I got a job, my "future" husband is visiting and the guy I'm kinda sorta "dating" is a good kisser but i swear to y'all if i hadn't already been on like 4 dates with this guy i would have thought he was catfishing me (he ends up ghosting me anyways so whatevesss). My momster and her dickwad of a boyfriend don't like my new job because it doesn't pay a whole lot? ( oh i forgot to mention they want me to pay rent for the "bedrooom" I'm sleeping in; y'all this room is literally a bed, a dresser drawer, and MY TV) ALSO did i mention this guy is total pack rat (THE BEDROOM IM IN HAS ALLLL OF HIS JUNK IN IT) and there's no central heating and I'm sick. I have bronchitis and we barely found out. meanwhile my supposed "mother" thought I was just being annoying with my coughing and her stupid boyfriend literally had the AUDACITY to tell me if I don't get rid of my cough by the end of the week then he was going to "do something about it". (LIKE IM SORRY I HAVE BRONCHITIS IF I COULD WAVE MY MAGIC WAND THAT I JUST RANDOMLY PULLED OUT OF MY ARSE AND MAKE MYSELF BETTER I WOULD SORRY MY ILLNESS IS INCONVENIENCING YOU). this man is weird he has like every book written by trump and is a civil war reenactor and has can goods from before I was even born because he doesn't believe in expiration dates. so I didn't want to find out what he meant by that so I booked the quickest doctors appointment I could get. I had been sick for 3 months by this point. also I paid over half the rent at my old place but I was always making like $1000 a month sooooo I could afford it. anyways my "future" husband and I have an amazing 3 days when he visits it was like no time had passed and it wasn't until he was gone that I realized that I couldn't live without him anymore.

May: ITS OFFICIAL BITCHES my "future" husband is now my boyfriend, it literally took him an hour for me to say he was my boyfriend. twas a struggle. but pretty much since the day he left we hadn't gone a single day without talking via text or calling each other. we thought about waiting until he came back to texas to date, but that would be two years and we weren't having that because we would have ended up waiting for each other instead of dating long distance which is kinda a waste of time. anyways I am no longer sick. at least I don't think and karma is just DOING ITS WORK on my mom and her dickwad boyfriend. My mom was being treated like she deserved by her new job and dickwad had lost his chief position because hes an alcoholic asshole with little man syndrome now he is paying over $10,000 for a DWI lawyer. meanwhile i was thriving I was getting more work I was looking into ways to pay off my school my life still sucked and the only reason im alive is because of my "future" husband.

June: did i ever mention that june is my favorite month of this year. love is in the air bitches. june is the month for marriages and engagements. SPEAKING OF ENGAGEMENTS yea that's right he proposed AND ON TOP OF THAT he surprised me with a visit and i nearly had a heart attack and it was a great few days. then my momster ruined it by being her and by hating me as per usual we weren't asking for permission at this point to get married we were just going to get married whether she agreed or not. and i was moving out and my "future" husband and i had a 101 plans (also i dont like the word fiance its dirty and gross) our 101 plans obviously fell through you can plan all day long and life is just like "LOL gurl you thought" but it all turned out fine in and in our favor in the end. we are very thankful for the people who stuck by our side when things were getting tough and sooo grateful for all their help we wouldn't have been able to do it without them.

JULY: ITS OUR WEDDDDINNNGGG MONNNTTTTHHHHHHH!!!!!! I had never thought "hey you're going to be my husband one day" when I saw my husband for the first time in the 2nd grade. he apparently did, he thought i was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen and was happy i had moved to his town. that innocent love obviously turned into something more as we got older and he always knew that something special would happen with us there had to be a reason God had kept us close all those years. we were married july 10th in a court house with our high school friends my momster and her dickwad boyfriend and my new family that consisted of my husbands parents and siblings while my maid of honor watch via facetime (she had work and the ceremony lasted like 20 mins) leading up to our wedding he "proposed" properly on the couch while we were watching a movie and his best friend was so upset that he was not included in the proposal. we promised to include him on our 5 year anniversary at our vow renewal. we were married on the 10th we had our honeymoon that night in galveston. on the 11th we went to our best mans house, watched hoarders all morning, played ping pong, went to go see a movie with our old clique from high school, slept on a too small air mattress with a too small blanket in freezing cold room and woke up early. he dropped me off at my momsters and we said our teary eyed goodbyes and said we'd see each other again in december and I watched him drive away to the air port. I turned 20 the next week and I had 1 good day then on the 18th my mom decided to yell at me and fight me about money (remember how i said i was trying to pay off my college stuff well my mom knew that. it was no secret. well i found a way and i had gotten the money the week i got married and i paid it off and put the rest in savings and refused to touch it) well my mom yelled at me until she was blue in the face because since dickwad fucked up his finances with his DWI they were now strapped for cash and wanted me to pay for everything and I refused. just because we said I'd move in december doesn't mean plans are set in stone and if I would have paid them in advance I would have never seen that money again. the risks were to high for me to pay that much in one sitting. so we argued on the 18th she didn't talk to me for two days then on the 21st she gave me an ultimatum and told me to pay or get out. meanwhile my husband and I were thinking ahead and I was already packing and by the 22nd all i had in the bedroom i slept in was a duffel bag of clothes and hamper full of my bedding I told her i was moving out on the 23rd on a sunday and by the time they got home from church me and everything i had would be gone from that house. remember my husbands best man and best friend and the small air mattress and cold bedroom?

August: they both had a house together and that was the house i stayed in until the second week or two of august i spent almost a week with my dad and his family so i could say my goodbyes. i came back to the guys house for 2 days finished packing said my goodbyes to all my friends and then my dad was there with a jeep for all my stuff and we would start our long trip to VA. the first day we drove from TX to atlanta then the next day atlanta to VA.

I was finally home. there he was my knight in blue digital camo. we'd only been married a month and already our plans were askew. my dad stayed for 2 extra days and helped us get settled into our new apartment then left.

september: we are 2 months into our marriage and our first month living together. these next two months will be the hardest months in our marriage. we're getting used to each other getting to know our homelife quirks it is a difficult transition for both of us I am used to an abusive passive aggressive household where i lock myself in my room and he is used to empty barracks and going out everyday just so he doesn't have to be in the barracks all day. it was hard but we wouldn't want to bicker over mundane things with anyone else.

October: its spoopy time and my husbands birthday is this month we have a tv and new bed for our master bedroom we have a cat but Im pretty sure we got him in september. we're not really fighting as much at least not about stupid things we know what pushes our buttons and we're communicating better. I have to turn down my first job because its too far of a drive. ( we immediately regret it) the hubs 21st birthday rolls around we have the worst mexican food ever and he has the strongest margarita in the world it was really a great night. Halloween we sit on the couch watching movies and just stay in all day.

November: my husbands family have informed us that his little brother will be graduating from boot camp this month and will be going to school on a base in VA and that they were coming for thanksgiving. so we get the house in order for our new guests. we buy everything from a thanksgiving ham to new towels when they arrive his parents are sick with the flu and my husband still has work the next day on thanksgiving. his mom and i spend the entire next day cooking and getting everything ready. when my husband gets home we have dinner and watch a movie or two. the next day is my husbands day off and we all had planned on eating out so we had lunch then went to the beach for his mom and then my husbands base to give a tour for his mom (insert eyeroll here the woman takes pictures of quite literally everything its almost annoying)and then finally we go back home so we can get his little brothers stuff and we can drop him off at his new base. (which is a whole lot more difficult then it should have been.) they end up giving him a weekend pass but by then we're all dead tired and want to go home but no, we go bowling on base until its time to take his little brother back to the barracks. then the next day is even more annoying my husband picks up his little brother and some breakfast and we trudge to a museum of an old ship for about 2 or 3 hours. keep in mind my husbands parents are still sick with the flu and everyone is tired except his little brother and my husband has work at 3am the next day. on top of that his parents need to get on a plane this same day and my husband and i need to drop off his little brother back on base. needless to say it was another long day and we finally had our house back my poor husband had work at 3am and around 9am i hear him come home apparently since he didn't leave early on thanksgiving he got to leave work early that day which meant we got the entire sunday to ourselves. it was a long weekend.

December: its only the 13th and we have been married for 5 months now and it will almost be a year since we started dating. (how time flies) his best man is supposed to visit in january and we are both so excited.

so much little stuff has happened this year that would make this post even longer. we got a motorcycle, my husband is trying to pick out a car for me i thought about doing online college, we both haven't really thought about what we want for christmas and our cat has fleas so its been a very eventful year.

#2017 #my year #ask me anything #janurary #february #march #april #may #june #july #august #september #october #november #december #newlyweds #first year #newly married couple

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