#oh “ben was a bad boyfriend” oh “julie wanted all of ben's attention”

[laconchadetumadre]

benjulie's relationship from julie's pov me thinks

[baby-impalas]

everything ever | jacob barber

pairing: jacob barber x reader

word count: 2806

warnings: swearing, angst, pining, unedited, probably some spelling errors, drinking, mentions of drugs.

-

normally, jacob would be a smiley mess watching you dance. you’re so carefree and in the moment when dancing he thinks it might be one of the only true releases you have. however, watching you dance up against your boyfriend (who isn’t him), doesn’t exactly bode the same. 

it breaks his heart, in fact. 

derek (or ‘little bitch’ as jacob refers to him in his mind and around sarah) has his hands on your waist and his mouth pressed against your neck. you’re swooning completely for whatever he’s whispering in your ear, smiling and giggling like you couldn’t be happier. 

until you look over and see jacob watching you, breaking out into a smile he swears could power the city. you immediately turn to derek and say something, giving him your drink to hold before running over to him and practically jumping into his arms for a hug. 

“haven’t seen you in forever,” you say into his ear. the music is loud, but he could pick your voice out of any crowd. 

“since friday. yesterday,” he chuckles, setting you down and smiling at you. your eyes are bright and so full of spirit. fuck he has it bad. 

“yeah but it always seems like a long time when I'm away from you,” you say, knocking his shoulder playfully with your fist. 

you have no idea, he thinks. 

about an hour later you guys are sitting on a couch, your head leaned against his shoulder with your nose in your phone as jacob observes the party scene in front of him. it’s some kid he doesn’t really know that threw the party for the fourth of july. everyone’s drunk off their ass and a few people are really feeling the holiday, chanting ‘u.s.a.’ a couple rooms over. in the corner, jacob spot a girl he knows to be named aubrey. she’s dancing with mike greyson, possibly the dumbest college freshman jacob’s ever met. he doesn’t even know how the kid got in, to be quite honest. jacob doesn’t understand why aubrey, who’s quite smart, would waste her time on someone like mike. same as he doesn’t understand why you would wast your time with someone like derek. 

jacob knows he isn’t exactly a catch. he’s decently attractive, but he does have a bit of an anger problem. it’s something he’s gotten better at controlling over the years, and something he would never even think about taking out on anyone. he knows now better than when he was younger that it’s his problem, and he has to deal with it on his own. death seemed better than even thinking about taking his anger on you, and that’s where he and derek differed, it seemed. 

derek definitely didn’t hit you (no way in hell would you stand for that), he’s just raised his voice at you one too many unnecessary times. you talked to jacob about what he said to you and how it made you feel. 

how he called you an ‘uptight bitch’ for not wanting to get high before class. 

he’s right I should loosen up a little, you’d said. 

how he called you stupid for asking a simple question about some homework. 

I really should pay attention more, you’d said. 

fuck that. you shouldn’t have to make excuses for your shitty boyfriend being an asshole to you just because he thinks he can. if jacob’s ever been confident in one thing about himself, it’s that he should be the one holding you in his arms and whispering sweet things in your ear. 

he glances down at you, seeing that you were texting derek. 

shithead. 

you: i wanna go

derek : i’m having fun tho

you: I'm tired

derek: you can go

you: derekkk

derek: what?

you: please?

derek: are u always gonna be so nagging?

“hey,” jacob says, nudging his shoulder. you look up to him and set your phone in your lap. “i'm gettin’ kinda tired. you wanna go?” 

you basically snort. “yes please,” you say. 

jacob stands and takes your hand in his to help you stand as well. you’re a bit wobbly and hold onto him for balance. and even in the sweaty crowd all jacob can smell is your sweet vanilla perfume. 

once outside, you say, “I don’t even know why I came. I hate these parties.” 

“me too.” 

“then why’d you come?” you ask with a bubbly laugh. 

“cause you did,” jacob answers truthfully. you pause for a moment, nearly making him trip. “you okay?” 

you’re watching him carefully, the same way he watches people when they’re doing something particularly interesting. 

“yeah,” you say a little late. “I have to tell you something.” 

jacob’s heart hammers in his chest, and he swears his legs go a little numb. but he plays it cool, asking, “what’s up?” 

you don’t respond right away, instead brushing his tousled hair away from his eyes. he remembers a couple weeks after you guys had met, you’d said he had some of the prettiest eyes you’d ever seen. and shit if that wasn’t fuel for his fire. 

“you’re so pretty, jake,” you say, seemingly just remembering that you thought that about him. “and so smart. god you are so smart and you don’t even have to try.” 

jacob feels his cheeks heat up and thanks anyone listening that it’s dark outside so you can’t see. he opts to look at some trees over your shoulder, knowing that staring into your twinkling eyes will only make it worse. but you place a hand on his cheek and turn his head back to you. 

being so close he swears he might pass out. 

“you’re everything to me,” you say. “you’re just everything there every was. do you know that?” 

he tilts his head slightly to the right as his eyebrows knit together.

“I don’t think you know what you’re saying,” he smiles a little and you smile right back, immediately falling into a fit of giggles. 

“I'm trying to be serious,” you say with a pout and shit you look so cute. he’d let you break his heart over and over and over if you wanted to. 

“be serious, then.” 

you take a deep breath for dramatic and comedic effect. 

“I, uh...” you’re staring into his eyes with a sudden intensity that nearly knocks him off his feat. he can practically see the gears turning in your head, though one seems to stop and suddenly that intensity is gone and you’re looking at the ground. “I'm tired.” 

maybe his heart aches just a little. 

“let’s get you home, then.” 

you don’t lean on him anymore, seemingly so balanced you may as well be sober. 

the drive home is mainly silent. the radio plays everybody wants to rule the world at a low volume, and you rest your head against he window the whole time. you really weren’t lying about being tired. 

when you arrive at your house, jacob helps you inside because it’s very hard for you to walk half asleep and intoxicated. he helps you into bed, removing your shoes and covering you up. then, because he can’t help himself, he brushes your messy hair back from your eyes, and suddenly you’re staring up at him in a way that has him panicking. because you’re looking at him the way sally looked at harry. 

“jake,” you say, your voice thick with sleep. 

“i’ll see you tomorrow, yn.” 

what’s one more impulsive romantic gesture? he kisses you on the head. 

“jake,” you say again. “want you to kiss me.” he almost doesn’t hear it, you’re so quiet. 

“what?” he murmurs, his heart picking up in his chest as he looks down at you. he’s still bent over, so when you sit up you’re only inches away from each other. 

“I want you to kiss me again,” your hand comes up from under the covers and you rest your index finger on your bottom lip. “here.”  

fuck. your cheeks are lit with a blush and your sparkling y/e/c eyes are boreing into his. you smell so good and he’s sure you taste like everything wonderful in the world. 

“no,” but you’re not his girlfriend. “you’re drunk.” you’re derek’s girlfriend. 

“doesn’t matter,” you say, grabbing his shirt and not breaking eye contact. 

“matters a lot,” he says, wishing he had the will power to remove your hand and just leave. but he doesn’t. because it’s you. you’re his first love and right now you’re looking at him like he carries the universe, the way he’s always wanted you to look at him. 

“not if I think about it sober, too,” you say. 

oh. 

“well-” what the fuck does he say? you still have a boyfriend, he can’t kiss you. he can’t kiss you. he can’t kiss you. your lips are alluring and your gaze is honest in love. but he can’t kiss you. 

he can’t. 

“please,” you say. and shit now you’re begging. “jacob, I need you to kiss me right now or I may explode.” 

fuck. he doesn’t know what to do, so he does the only logical thing. he shuts off his emotions. ever since he was a kid, jacob’s been very in charge of his feelings. he’s not sure it’s a good thing, but it’s a thing that comes in handy in moments like this. 

“get some sleep, yn,” he says, finally standing up and pulling himself out of the spell you seemed to have him in. 

he knew you were pouting without even looking at you, for you’d made a big huffy sort of sound that he knows you do when something doesn’t go your way. you make a noise like you’re about to speak, but nothing comes out. jacob smiles down at you, and you lay back down, looking very tired again. 

he walks out, making sure to turn your night light on and lock your front door. he seems okay. anyone looking at him would think he’s completely fine. but in the safety of his car, the switch for his emotions seems to turn back on, and he feels his breathing pick up like he might cry. but jacob doesn’t cry. he hasn’t since ben rifken. so he just sits and feels the anger begin to spread. 

why the fuck didn’t he kiss you? because you have a boyfriend. but he hates the son of a bitch and if you like him so much why would you try and kiss jacob? what’s the point of being a good guy if you always get hurt in the end? isn’t there a point where his own happiness should come first? 

jacob hits his steering wheel, so conflicted with what the right answer is he feels his head practically swimming like he might be drunk. he’s not drunk. he’s sober and in pain. but who wouldn’t be? you’re y/n y/l/n. you're a four leafed clover and probably the reason the earth orbits the sun. anyone who wouldn’t move mountains for you is a fucking idiot. 

jacob drives home and doesn’t think about anything anymore. sometimes thinking hurts too much. 

-

you text him the next morning and ask if you can come over. he says sure and makes breakfast for you guys. eggs, bacon, toast, the whole nine yards. he’s assuming you don’t remember what happened last night, but he’s sure you felt like shit this morning. 

you arrive and greet him with a smile and a hug. your hair’s pulled up into a bun and you’re wearing the sweater he gave you last year after a late night in the city. it used to be his own, but it looks so much cuter on you. 

“hey,” you say. “did you make breakfast? smells good.” 

he nods, ushering you into the kitchen where he’d already prepared two plates. you give him a sweet, adoring smile like you can’t believe what he’d done. 

“you’re so sweet,” you say, jutting your bottom lip out. 

everything seems to stop for a moment when he looks at you. it hits him then just how head over ass he is for you and how he’d do just about anything to make sure that gorgeous smile stays on your face forever. 

he shrugs, sitting down next to you. “just doin’ what my dad taught me.” 

andy was always drilling into jacob’s head that if you want to get a nice girl under your arm, chivalry is the key. 

“ah, yes, I'm sure andy barber was quite the catch in his day. still kind of is, actually.” 

jacob’s jaw drops. “you’re hitting on my dad? my married dad?”

you laugh, nearly choking on orange juice. “not hitting on, just complimenting the barber genes. obviously good looks run in the family,” you say, nudging his shoulder. 

jacob turns away so you won’t see him blush. he’s surprised things aren’t awkward between you two after last night. seems you really don’t remember what happened. 

“okay, but the y/l/n genes are clearly one of god’s favorites.” 

“aww, you think I'm pretty?” you say, turning to him after taking a bite of bacon and batting your eyelashes at him. 

“you’re ethereal,” he says, almost to himself, as he looks at you. 

suddenly the energy in the room shifts, and you’re not looking at him so playfully anymore. he tries to think of something to shrug it off, but nothing comes to mind. all he can think about is how pretty you are. and how kind, and loving. 

“why didn’t you kiss me last night?” you ask. 

fucking what?

“what? are you serious? you were drunk.” and I'm an idiot. 

“well I stand by what I said.” 

it’s silent as you watch him, waiting for a reaction. anyone looking at you might think you’re confident as hell right now, but really you’re practically begging inside that jacob doesn’t kick you out for crossing a line. 

“well you have a boyfriend,” he says almost spitefully. 

then you’re pulling out your phone and clicking some buttons, and jacob’s scared for a moment you may be deleting his number or something. but instead, you put the phone on speaker and begin calling someone. jacob doesn’t see who it is, only barely recognizes the voice of the little bitch on the other end of the line. 

“sup, babe?” derek says though the phone. 

“hey. i think we need to break up.” you’re picking at a loose strand of fabric on your jeans, seemingly not phased at all by the fact that you’re breaking up with your boyfriend. almost bored, even. 

“what? you’re serious?” 

“yup.” 

holy shit holy shit holy shit holy shit-

“how come?” 

then you lock eyes with jacob, and his heart skips a beat. 

“I'm in love with someone else.” 

derek starts to say something, but you hang up on him. jacob almost laughs at the cold gesture, but he can’t, because next thing he knows you’re pressing your lips against his and he can’t do anything except kiss back and think, this is happening. I'm kissing yn. and she tastes so sweet, like orange juice. 

his hands are slipping from your cheeks to your arms to your waist because he can finally touch you. he can fucking finally feel your soft skin under his fingertips, and your lips against his own. it feels right, like you fit together in a way that’s bigger than either of you.

you pull away and look at him, gauging his reaction. as far as jacob’s concerned, you’re the only one who’s ever really been able to read him. you know exactly how he’s feeling and how to react to it. it impresses him more than anything else because he considers himself extremely hard to read. 

right now, though, he’s not hard to read at all. his eyes are twinkling with adoration and there’s a blush on his cheeks that’s even spreading to his neck. he’s dopey and so in love he can’t contain it. 

“you’re everything there ever was,” he says, repeating your drunken words from last night. you giggle and just holy fuck he can’t believe you love him. you.

“jacob-”

“I love you,” he says, moving his hand to your thigh. “always have.” 

that has you blushing and avoiding his gaze, and you look so goddamn cute. 

“I love you too,” you say, trying your best to look him in the eye. “I never loved derek. I just didn’t think you’d want me like that, so I tried to move on... long story short it didn’t work.” 

he laughs, though he’s in major disbelief that he wasn’t obnoxiously obvious with his feelings for you. he’s good at controlling how he appears to people, but loving you was something he could never really contain. 

and now, thank fuck, he doesn’t have to anymore. because you’re all his. 

[davieslandon]

The breakup talk. | Landon & Avery

Discord thread featuring: Landon and @amoliveiraofficial

When: 2nd July

Where: Landon’s house

Description: Avery comes over with Mars after Landon texts her about the breakup.

Mentioned: @romanbeckett @aaronhart93 @lorencourtier

Trigger Warnings: angst. lots of it. 

Landon

Landon wasn't planning on telling Avery about his breakup anytime soon. It wasn't that he didn't trust her or that he wanted to hide it from her, but he was ashamed. He was ashamed of how fast it all went to shit and of the fact that he couldn't keep a boyfriend for more than a month. Not to mention that he knew she warned him about this multiple times but he didn't listen. Add to that the fact that Landon slept with Roman barely even a day after the breakup and...yeah, he wasn't feeling very good about himself. But when she texted him to ask if he was okay, he couldn't lie. Landon didn't want to start lying with Avery and he knew she would figure him out anyways. So even though he was scared of what was going to come from their conversation, he couldn't deny that he really needed the company of someone he loved and knowing that Avery was bringing Mars with her only made it better. "Hey", he said, as soon as he opened the door. Landon really hoped he didn't look as bad as he felt.

avery

She was speechless. Literally, Avery was trying to think of something to describe how she felt. What could she come up with? Three words: What the fuck? Now, she knows that she gave him a lot of shit about his new relationship. It was the little sister in her thing to do. But... She had been rooting for him. She knows that he didn't have the best track record involving relationships (boy, could she relate) and that this was pretty important for him. They met and started dating around... what the beginning of the month? But she knew that he'd fallen hard and fast. So to learn that it all burned... she was heartbroken for him. Letting her wife know she was heading to Landon's and was taking Mars, she got the toddler and his diaper bag and put some tubs of Ben and Jerrys and some of Roe's weed doughnuts into her messenger bag and made her way over. She went over and over in her head about what she was going to say. But once Avery saw Landon, it all flew away. "Hey," she mused back. He looked like shit. "Come here, Lan." She tried hold him as best as possible with one arm, the other holding Mars. Who was trying to grab onto his uncle. "Lan-Lan!" The happy smile on the toddler's face made her heart melt as she smiled softly. "We got you, Lan. We got you..."

Landon

Landon found himself having to hold back tears as soon as Avery wrapped her arm around him and he mentally cursed himself. Why couldn't he just get a hold of himself? He couldn't keep crying in front of anyone who showed him affection. Landon always prided himself on his ability to keep a check on his emotions no matter what. Always so composed. It seemed like his breakup with Loren was just what he needed for his composure to break and go flying out of the window. At least seeing Mars was already helping him feel so much better especially when the small boy started calling for him and attempting to reach out. "Hey there little man", he smiled, ruffling his hair and offering his hand to grab ahold of. "It's good to see you again even though you've gotten so very big since the last time I saw you. You're a proper big boy now."  Why did he ever consider not telling her about what was going on? Landon already felt so much better having the two around. "Thanks for coming all the way here. I..I guess I needed the company."

avery

"It's okay... It's okay..." Her voice was soft, needing him to know it was okay. For him to cry, for things to get better soon, for him to not be okay. It broke her heart seeing him this way. She kissed his head as she pulled back and looked down at him, Mars taking his hand and giggling brightly. "I know right? Next thing we'll know, he's going to be graduating high school. Isn't that a frightening thing to imagine?" Avery hoped that joking could possibly help. At least, a tiny bit. A moment to laugh, despite the heartache. "Of course- even if I was busy, I would've come," she promised. She never had a brother until Landon. She didn't intend to lose him. "Let's get inside. You got a toddler to hold and some doughnuts to munch upon. I also brought some Ben and Jerrys. Dibs on Phish Food." Once more, she smiled as she hoped her attempt at a joke worked.

Landon

"Don't even remind me. I'm both looking forward and dreading Elle starting school soon. I'll be able to take up more hours at work but I'm going to miss having her around so much. Speaking of Elle...she's in the living room playing with her toys and she's very excited to get to see Mars." He led the way to the living room and grinned at the excitement on both kids' faces at getting to see each other again. They were adorable. Her joke managed to get a little laugh out of him and he had to admit that he was looking forward to having some doughnuts and icecream. After all, everyone knew that one of the cures of heartbreak was through the stomach. "You're literally an angel", he said as soon as they sat down.  He waited until he was sure both Mars and Elle were distracted and not paying them any attention before talking. "I just...I really thought it could work with him, you know? I thought he was different. It felt different."

avery

"Oh dear god- Elle's going to be in college when Mars is graduating from high school. At least, maybe. If she decide's to go to college; Too soon to know and totally her choice." Oh god, she was rambling now. Great. Setting down her son, she couldn't help but to laugh as he screeched and ran to his Peppa to hug her. "God, I love them," she mused. She wonders... What would Mars be like as a brother? Before, she was always so flip-flop concerning that possibility. But... with Roe... the idea of them having another kid and a sibling for Mars sounded perfect. Heading with him, she set the food on the table. "Oh, no need to remind me. Actually, ignore that. Continue doing so," Avery quipped, smirking softly. Then her face softened. "I know..." She gently took his hand and squeezed it. "Lan, I... I'm so sorry. I was rooting for you two; I truly was. Did... Did he explain why?" There had to be a reason... She caught a sight of them at the reception not too long ago. They seemed so happy and falling in love: what happened?

Landon

"No, no, no, we're not talking about that. We're supposed to be talking about happy things and that just makes me sad." Landon knew there was going to come a point where Elle would move out for college or for whatever she chose to do in her life. That's what he did as well, after all. But he also knew that was going to be a really bittersweet day for both himself and Harry and he didn't want to think about it too much. Elle was only five, they would have time to think about all that. First, they needed to get through the first day of school.  Landon wasn't sure what to say when Avery asked him why Loren broke up with him. He gave him a reason but it was so different from the man he'd gotten to know that he couldn't be sure it was the truth. Or he needed to stop fooling himself and admit it. "Um...he told me I don't really love him. Or not enough at least", he shrugged. "It's my fault really. I kept putting off saying it out loud even though I knew it was true because I was scared. And now he's gone."

avery

"But it is also happy! It means that one day soon, they'll be able to help tease you." Make him laugh. God, please, try to do what you can to get something that resemblance her usual Landon. Avery hasn't never seen him so down like this before. Well, maybe him telling his histories with Roman and Harry. Those would possibly count. But it's been quite some time that she's nearly forgotten what he is like when he's this sad and heartbroken. How his eyes lose their colour, how his entire body sags, how he appears ready to throw in the towel. It was devastating seeing him like this. The girl furrowed her brows. That was it? That he... that he didn't really love him? It brought her back to Liza, which made her grow angry for a moment. The brunette shook her head. "I'm so sorry, Lan. And no, it is not your fault. Alright? Just because you didn't say it loud enough, doesn't mean that it wasn't true. Nor does it mean that you never did or 'not enough'. You can't rush your feelings and he should've known that. You should've been able to say it when you were ready and were less scared to by your own design. Not his." If he truly loved you, he would've respected that. But... she couldn't say that. Not now, not while his heart was broken. Sighing, she pulled him into a hug. "It's going to be okay, Lan. I promise. Maybe... not now or for awhile. But it will eventually. The Oliveiras got you, okay?"

Landon

"I already have a sister to do that, I don't need a daughter as well to add to that", he joked, although it was only half-hearted at best. Landon wanted to forget about everything and just get to enjoy his time with Avery and their children but it was hard. He was constantly thinking about Loren talking in a way he'd never heard him talk before. Saying he didn't feel loved enough and that he was leaving. Just like that. Like what they shared didn't matter and like Landon wasn't about to introduce him to Elle, the most important person in his life. In the reprieve he got from thinking about his boyf - ex-boyfriend,  Landon thought back to the night he spent with Roman at the theater. As if things weren't complicated enough without him making it worse. "But maybe it is. Maybe I didn't show him I cared enough and he got tired of it. Or he...I don't know, I don't know what to think anymore." Maybe the truth was that there was more to it than that and Landon was just too crushed by Loren's words to press him and get an honest answer. And now it was too late. Landon let himself be pulled into a hug, letting the presence of the girl he thought of as his sister comfort him. "I don't know if things are ever going to be okay again." They would be if this was the first time but the way things ended with Loren only proved to Landon that relationships weren't his thing. "I just...I messed up really bad."

avery

"Correction: a sister and a sister-in-law. We need our niece to add to it." While getting him to joke back even a little was a good start, she knew that he wasn't fully into it. And damn, she hated seeing him like this. After Roman and Harry, she knew that this was his first serious attempt to try something again. And what with wanting to introduce him to Elle soon... It didn't add up. Avery couldn't wrap her mind around it. She truly thought that they were good, on the way to be something great. But... then again, that had seemed to be the case multiple times for her. So she could understand. "You did everything you could- and I know that you would've proven yourself more as time went on." Sighing softly, she pulled back. Dark eyes scanning his face, she cupped his face. "Six," she spoke. "Six times, I tried. Six times, I got my heart broken. Six times... before I met Monroe. I had given up... so many times before her. After Max and Luca, I told myself no more. I was going to focus on Mars and myself, nothing with romance. And in the most incredible shocking turn of events, Monroe showed up. She came into my life and everything fell into place." The writer shook her head. Her smile was soft and warm. "I'm not saying it'll be the same for you. Maybe... The fourth will be it. Or maybe, it'll take awhile. All I'm saying is that: you can't give up. It will happen eventually. You're going to ache and wish that things had been different. Then... you're going to start feeling okay. Some days are bad, some are good. But you'll be making progress. And eventually, someone else will come along. And who knows what could happen. This could be it or it could be another lesson. I just need you to know that eventually: you will be okay. It's all a matter of time, Lan. But eventually, it'll happen. You didn't mess up, okay? You did everything you could. And that's okay. But it's also okay to ache and cry and scream. All it takes is time. That's all: time. I got you."3 July 2020

Landon

The reminder that now they could also add Monroe to the list of people who tease him made him groan. He was never going to catch a break was he? At the same time, it warmed his heart because it showed him that he had more people on his side than he even realised. But Avery’s words weren’t as comforting as she probably thought they would be. Because he knew that things were difficult for her as well, relationship wise, and still got her happy ending with Monroe. Things weren’t the same for him and, of course, Avery would say he didn’t mess up but she also didn’t know the whole story. “You don’t get it”, he said, rubbing his face with his hands. “I did mess up. I slept with Roman.” Whoever said that saying it fast, like ripping off a bandaid, made it easier, clearly didn’t know what they were saying.

avery

"... Wait, what?" Her brother was just full of surprises today. Hearing about him and Roman... When was that? The young girl was shocked to hear that. Grabbing the Phish Food tub and a spoon, Avery needed to eat something. Needing to process this information. Taking a few bites, his words running over and over in her head, she finally looked back at Landon. She looked at him for a moment, her eyes and face unreadable. "When?" She wasn't sure when she finally spoke. Wasn't sure how she'd manage to do so. But god, the girl was full of questions. She was just so confused about this, about what happened.

Landon

Did Avery even know Aaron and Roman broke up? Landon didn’t know but he hurried to explain. He might not be in the best state of mind right now and they were both drunk when they hooked up, but he would have never done it if the two were still dating. “Yesterday. Aaron and Roman broke up and I went over to the theater because I was so upset about Loren. We had quite a bit to drink...tequila, you know what that does to me. Then we smoked a few joints and...well, one thing led to another”, he shrugged. They never should have done it but, at the same time, Landon didn’t really regret. They had a good time.

avery

"Aaron and Roman broke up?!" Obviously, she heard the rumors about those two. She hadn't really had the opportunity to talk to either about it, though, and gained some more information. So hearing that they broke up... Avery's mind was spinning. She really needs to regroup all of her friends and chat with them soon. "I... holy fuck, mate..." Shaking her head in bewilderment, she stuffed her face some more with ice cream. This was all quite a treat. "Damn... Wow... I honestly have no idea what to say. But, I get it. You both were upset over your breakups and not in the right mindset... Plus, with that influence... It happens." Hell, her and Max had hooked up a couple of days after Liza had broke up with her. While they'd both agreed on giving their relationship a second chance in the future, they'd also agreed that they'd be okay if they were to fuck other people during that time. And it was a good thing that happened: Mars ended up happening. The bad thing had been that once the news came out, everyone thought that she'd cheated. Even Liza thought so. Of course, it wasn't true and it was hard to go through the rest of her pregnancy having everyone believe that. It was just difficult in general for many reasons. Sighing, she shook her head. "You and Roman both had breakups and took it hard. You both got drunk and smoked some weed, and you ended up hooking up. That is the least worse thing you could've done. Hooking up with your ex after recently going through a breakup doesn't make you a horrible person, Landon. It's not the best idea ever, but it's also not the worse."

Landon

“Yeah, they did”, he didn’t mention the fact that he was pretty sure he was partly to blame for the breakup. Landon never lied to Roman but maybe this time he should have when his ex asked him if he was truly okay with him and Aaron dating. Clearly, him saying no had an affect on their relationship and, even though he wasn’t that upset over the breakup, he still felt guilty. He appreciated that Avery was trying to make him feel better, even though he didn’t feel like he deserved it. Did he feel horrible that Aaron was going to be hurt over this? Of course. Did he regret sleeping with Roman? No, he really didn’t. And that was the problem. “I know. The problem is that...I don’t regret it. I know I should because we were drunk and high, but I don’t. It was...great.”

avery

"I... I'm sorry, I cannot keep up with who's dating and who's only fucking and all that shit anymore. It's just... it's so confusing at this point." God, if she didn't need to drive later, she would eat one of Monroe's doughnuts. So Phish Food was going to have to suffice. She smiled softly. Honestly? She didn't blame him. Your first love is always going to hold some sort of effect on you. So them fucking and Landon holding no regrets... She understood. "I get it," Avery mused, looking over at Mars. "Max and I... we hooked up not too long after Liza broke up with me. So I get not holding regrets over that. I mean, our situations were quite different. But... I do understand. He's your first love; He's always going to mean something. You're not a bad person for not holding regrets over it."

Landon

That got the most genuine laugh out of Landon so far, even though he knew Avery was being honest. How could he not laugh when what she said was completely true? Landon might frequently refer to himself as a mess but he also knew he wasn’t the only one. “That’s exactly it”, he shrugged. “And I know people might say this means I was lying about what I felt for Loren but I wasn’t. I was genuinely into him and it hurts so much that I didn’t do enough but yeah...Roman’s always going to mean something to me. Loren knew this and he said he was okay with it but I guess that was another lie.”

avery

Avery smiled once hearing that laugh. It was good to hear it. She reached out for his hand, squeezing it softly. "You can be in love with Loren while still holding a... sort of tenderness for Roman. I love Monroe with my entire heart; We both know this. But I'm always going to care deeply for Max- and Liza, to an extent. It doesn't change that Roe is the love of my life. And you still holding the deep level of care for Roman doesn't change the fact that you love Loren. But... in his defense, that can also be hard. And maybe, he needs some time- which is okay. But no: this does not mean that you were lying. This does not change anything, alright? Your feelings for Loren are very real. And it's possible to hold deep feelings for more than one person. That does not make you a horrible person; It just proves that you are full of love to share, Landon. And that's not a bad thing."

Landon

It turned out that Avery was saying just what he needed to hear. Landon hadn't even realised the level of guilt he felt over still having these sort of feelings for Roman while also falling in love with Loren. It made him feel like shit; like he was using his boyfriend...well, ex-boyfriend. Loren repeatedly told him he understood and that he was okay with it but in the end, that wasn't the case and it crushed Landon. Why did feelings have to be so complicated? All he wanted to do was to get a new start and the opportunity to move on with Loren but everything else got in the way. In the end, Avery was right. As much as it hurt, he needed to understand that it wasn't easy being with someone with so much baggage. Maybe all Loren needed was some time. Then again, if that was the case he would have stuck around in Kingsboro and yet he left. Landon really needed to find a balance between having some healthy level of hope and being plain unrealistic. "I guess you're right. Sometimes I have a hard time not blaming myself for everything that happens but I know I can't keep taking responsibility for everything. Loren made his choice and I have to respect it, even though it hurts. I guess I should consider myself lucky that I hadn't introduced him to Elle yet. That would be a mess that I wouldn't really know how to handle."

avery

She never wanted to see Landon so hurt. He was honestly her brother and it just... it was so painful to witness. She loves him deeply and wished that this hadn't happened. That he wasn't so hurt right now. "I know- and I get that." She spent years blaming herself for everything that ever went wrong. Hell, she'd grown use to it. In Foxcroft, even if something hadn't been her fault, the blame was put on her and she was treated awfully. Learning how to not continue that mentality has been difficult... But it was a process she was becoming better about. And that in and of itself was a good thing. Avery grimaced slightly at the mentioning of introducing Loren to Elle. She made that mistake with Luca- clearly, mistakes were made. It was why she was so nervous about introducing Monroe to Mars for awhile. But at the same time, she had felt more at ease about the idea as well. And now, here they are. "It is a good thing. I just... I really hope that things will become easier for you soon. That you'll be okay. I promise that we got you; That I got you. The Oliveiras love you so much, Landon."

Landon

It felt so nice to be so understood. Not only was Avery like a sister to him but she'd also been through something similar herself. Others could offer their support and Landon did appreciate it but it was different to be understood by someone who had an idea of what he was going through right now. He was getting better at dealing with the guilt of what he perceived as putting Elle at risk. His daughter never met Loren and so, she was safe. It was also a tough lesson for him that he couldn't just introduce anyone to his daughter. People he thought he could trust weren't always what they seemed. He was fine with getting hurt himself but Elle was a different story. It was going to take a lot more from now on for him to believe he could introduce someone to the most important person in his life. "Thank you, I appreciate it. And I love you too, all of you."

[ddproductionsw77]

Ain’t All It’s Cracked Up To Be

Fandom: IT Chapters One & Two

Pairing(s): Reddie (Richie Tozier x Eddie Kaspbrak), mentions of Stenbrough and Benverly

Characters: (Major) Richie Tozier, Eddie Kaspbrak, (Minor) Beverly Marsh, Ben Hanscom, Bill Denbrough, Stan Uris, Mike Hanlon, (Minor OCs) Sandy Montgomery, Berkeley Wells, Donny Stills

Rating: I mean… T? (I guess there is some heavy suggestion and hard language so M is that offends you)

Description: Richie is almost 3,000 miles away from Eddie when he has a run in with an ex-girlfriend (Aged-Up to college)

Author’s Note: Wow… this got long… Sorry??

|~|~|~|~|~|~|~|~|~|~|~|~|~|~|~|~|~|~|~|~|~|~|~|~|~|~|~|~|~|~|~|~|~|~|~|~|~|~|~|~|~|~|~|

May 1997

Richie threw one shirt after the other from his side of the closet into the suitcase sitting on the bed beside his boyfriend. As he did, Eddie plucked each one up, folding it neatly before replacing it in the suitcase.

“Eight weeks,” Eddie sighed, picking up Richie’s favorite black hoodie with holes all along the cuffs of the sleeves, in the pockets and cigarette burns here and there. Fucking disaster. “We’ve never been apart that long before.”

Richie glanced over his shoulder, throwing a black Dark Side Of The Moon t-shirt at Eddie’s face, “Come on, Eds, don’t get all clingy on me now.”

“I’m not being clingy, asshole!” Eddie snapped, “Eight weeks is a long fucking time! And don’t call me that.”

“Eight weeks is not a long fucking time, Eddie,” Richie scoffed, turning around to give his boyfriend a look, “I’ll be back at the end of July and and you’ll barely have had time to miss me.”

Eddie nibbled at his lip, folding the god awful hoodie up and throwing it in the suitcase with everything else. He looked up to Richie, who was smirking at him with his usual infuriatingly cute smirk. Glaring in response, he said, “You’ll be across the country for two months. We’ve hardly been apart longer than a couple of weeks since we were five, and especially not in the last five years, so fucking excuse me for thinking that I might just miss you. Apparently, you won’t miss me.”

Richie laughed, only to have a pair of jeans thrown at him, “Hey, hey, c’mon, Eds. I’m sorry, okay, but that was just fucking ridiculous.” Eddie continued to glare as Richie went on, “Of course I’ll miss you. I am clingy, Spaghetti Man, remember? I blame my mommy and daddy issues. Being away is gonna fucking blow but…” He shrugged, looking sincere for a moment, “I gotta go.”

Eddie finished folding the last t-shirt and nodded, “Yeah, I know. I’d be fucking furious with you if you didn’t go. It’s just,” He groaned, throwing his head back, “It’s LA, Richie.”

Richie glanced away, knowing exactly what Eddie was getting at.

He and Eddie had been dating nearly five years… if you didn’t count a short—very fucking short—break-up right before they finished high school three years prior. It was so short, it shouldn’t even fucking count but it had still happened. And it had happened because Richie had thought—barely even contemplated—going to college at UCLA instead of following Eddie to NYU.

With a sigh, he shook his head, “It’s LA for a killer eight week internship; I’m not going to stay and finish up my B.A. there or anything, Eds.”

“That’s not funny, dickwad,” Eddie glowered as Richie carried on, unfazed.

“I’ll get actual air time, Eddie. On the actual radio, not just the shitty campus radio gig I got now where only ten people tune in and six of them are Losers.” Richie reasoned for the umpteenth time. He was starting to loose track of the times he and Eddie had had this exact conversation since he’d first applied for the damn thing.

“I know that, Richie,” Eddie said, standing up from the bed, “I want you to go. Still fucking sucks.”

Richie half smiled, “Totally blows ass.”

Eddie couldn’t stop the corners of his mouth from curling into a smile. Laughing, he stepped forward, throwing his arms around his boyfriend’s neck and kissing him with everything he could. Richie gripped Eddie’s hips with an equal desperation, holding him in place against him.

Reaching up, Eddie tangled his fingers into the hair at the nape of Richie’s neck and purposefully tugged, knowing exactly how much it drove Richie crazy. Richie responded just how Eddie had wanted him to, gasping into their kiss.

Pulling away, Richie breathlessly groaned, “No fucking fair.”

“Too damn bad,” Eddie challenged, looking into Richie’s darkened eyes with his own.

There was a moment that they just stared each other, each waiting and wondering what move the other was going to make and when. Then, as if they’d planned it, they crashed back together, Eddie hooking his arms around Richie neck and Richie lifted him and Eddie wrapped his legs around his waist. They pressed together, kissing despite already being lightheaded.

Slowly, Richie moved them over to the bed, breaking apart only to carefully lay Eddie down, tossing his t-shirt off before climbing on top of him. Eddie laughed, reaching up to softly trail his fingertips over the familiar plains of his boyfriend’s chest. Slipping his hand up behind Richie’s neck, he pulled him down for another searing kiss before breaking apart again just to sit up and rid himself of his shirt as well, tossing it to the floor beside Richie’s.

Laying back down, the two tangled together. Richie’s hands moved down to Eddie’s leg, moving it to hook around his as he propped himself up on his elbow. Eddie reached between them, his hand tugging at the waist of Richie’s jeans. Breaking away, he gasped, “These need to go.”

Richie laughed, nodding.

He stood, quickly undoing his fly and looking back at his boyfriend, laying before him, waiting and watching. He paused, taking in every detail of Eddie he could to commit it to memory, engrave it into his mind. His stomach twisted at the thought of leaving all this in just twelve hours. And then to be with out it for two months.

Two months before he saw the freckles along Eddie’s collar bones or the way his hair got messed up from rolling around in bed, the warmth of his skin or the softness of his ear, his cool fingertips… His chest clenched.

Below him, Eddie propped himself up on his elbows, cocking his head, “Richie, what’s wrong?”

“Jesus, Eddie,” Richie shook his head, throat burning, “I’m gonna miss you, baby.”

Eddie’s heart raced faster, the way it always did when Richie called him baby, and he felt a lump from in his throat as he nodded, “Yeah,” He bit his lip hard, looking into Richie’s chocolate brown eyes for a long, long moment before whispering, softly, “Show me. Show me how much you’ll miss me.”

In an instant, Richie was back on top of him and they were kissing with a desperation they would never acknowledge or admit to later. Reaching out, they intertwined their hands over Eddie’s head, barely breaking to breathe.

_______________________________________________________________________

Eleven and a half hours later, a group of seven stood in a huddle to themselves in JFK Airport. Beverly was hugging Richie for the third time while Ben and Eddie looked on, glumly. Mike, Bill and Stanley stood a little away, Bill and Stan’s hands linked between then as the three of them made small talk.

“American Airlines, flight 27 to LAX, now boarding.” A monotone voice over their heads dulled out.

Richie looked up at a nearby speaker over Bev’s head and quipped sarcastically, “Well, she sounds great.”

“Richie,” Eddie warned as Richie and Beverly parted. Richie grinned at his boyfriend and shrugged, looking around at the others who were watching him.

“Guess this is it,” Richie shrugged, drumming his hand on the thigh of his jeans nervously. “I’m gonna miss you guys.”

“It w-won’t be the same without you, Trashmouth,” Bill smiled lightly and clapped Richie on the shoulder before returning to his boyfriend’s side.

Stan glanced at Bill before looking back at Richie, nodding, “Yeah, it’ll be like a two month long vacation.”

Richie threw a hand over his heart, “Oh, Stanley! You wound me!” Stan rolled his eyes silently before Richie grinned and gestured for him, “Get over here, Stanley Urine.”

Stanley groaned but moved forward, hugging Richie quickly before quirking a smile and  saying, “I hate you.”

Mike hugged Richie tight, patting him on the back a few times before dropping his arms. Before he could step away though, Richie gripped his arm and leaned forward, “Look out for Eds for me, okay? You’re his best friend, you know,” He shrugged, “Besides me, obviously.”

Mike laughed and nodded, “Of course, Rich.”

Ben reached out to squeeze the boy’s arm, saying sadly, “I think I’ll actually miss you too, Richie. But at least I’ll save on groceries with you not coming over to steal food.”

“Haystack! Never have I ever!” Richie faked offense before hugging Ben quickly, “Yeah, I guess I’ll miss you too.”

Beverly stepped forward, taking one of Richie’s hands in hers and staring into his eyes to make sure she kept his attention, “You’ll call me the second you finish your first day tomorrow, right? I mean, after you talk to Eddie?”

“Yes, Bevvy,” Richie answered dutifully.

“And if you find any really good weed, you’ll sneak me back some, right?”

“Yes, Bevvy,”

The red head nodded, reaching out with her free hand to smack Richie’s cheek once before stepping up and lightly kissing the other. “I’ll see you soon, friend.”

“I’ll see you soon, Red,” Richie nodded, dropping Beverly’s hand before looking over beside him only to find Eddie staring back at him.

Bill glanced between the two and cleared his throat, shoving his hands in his pockets, “E-Eddie, we’ll be by the car when you’re ready.”

Eddie half nodded and neither he nor Richie paid attention as the Losers filed away. He stepped forward, resting his hands on Richie’s chest where a Sergeant Pepper’s logo was printed. Keeping his eyes on his hands, he whispered, lightly, “You’re going to be back.”

It wasn’t a question but Richie still answered, reaching up to lace his fingers with Eddie’s, nodding, “I swear to God.” Bring Eddie’s hands to his lips he kissed them gently, “I love you, Eds... You’re not getting rid of me for a long time.”

The corner of Eddie’s mouth twitched and he tightened his grip momentarily, “Good...” He finally brought his eyes up to Richie’s, meeting his gaze as he slipped one hand free to rest of the other’s cheek, “I love you, too.”

Richie felt his heart skip a beat. Eddie didn’t say the L-O-V-E word willy nilly like Richie tended to. Richie knew Eddie’s feelings, had no doubts in them whatsoever but it still caught him a bit off guard when he heard Eddie speak them aloud. Grinning, he ducked his head down and kissed Eddie hard before pulling away.

“I gotta go,” He said softly and Eddie nodded. Picking up the suitcase beside him, Richie wanted till the last second to let go of Eddie’s hand before turning and walking to his gate.

_______________________________________________________________________

June 1997

After finishing his first week in LA, Richie knew he’d made the right choice. Los Angeles... it was incredible. People in LA didn’t look twice at him, didn’t give him looks or roll there eyes in distaste. People in LA actually socialized and talked and, best of all, partied. Every night after he got done with his small, hour long segment before the prime time host came on, Richie went out to a new bar or club with his fellow interns, Berkeley and Donny.

They’d decided on a club with a Rolling Stones cover band playing for that night’s adventure, heading out together.

Berkeley was—no surprise—born and raised in California, about to finish her last year at UCLA, which Richie had commented on multiple time. She was pretty enough and quite good for killing time with bantering and joking but she was no Beverly Marsh. Still, Richie liked her okay.

Donny was from Washington and had moved for college, attending Butler University somewhere in Indiana. The kid was so high most of the time, Richie found it hard to believe that he’d just graduated with honors and took the internship as resume filler. Still, occasionally, Donny was capable of surprising, like fixing a glitch in the queue system at the station in ten minutes flat.

Walking down the sidewalk, Richie glanced over at Berkeley, “Hey, so this friend of yours, you sure he can pull this off? This show is supposedly sold out.”

“She, Richie,” Berkeley rolled her eyes, “And yes. If you knew her, you wouldn’t even ask.”

They reached the club, finding a line of people standing and waiting. Berkeley held her head up and confidently led the way for Richie and Donny to the front. The bouncer gave her a look. Berk flashed him a smile, “Berkeley Wells, Donny Stills, and Richie Tozier. We were invited by Sandy.”

Richie cocked his head to the side, something in the back of his mind trying to come forward... he didn’t know what.

The bouncer nodded, gesturing them forward. As they passed, he leaned down and whispered something to Berkeley, who smiled and nodded. Once they were in Richie was reminded again just how many people were in the world. The place was packed, music playing over the speakers but nothing live as the band hadn’t started up yet.

Berkeley grinned and turn around, yelling at the two of them, “Follow me!”

Richie looked at Donny but the only guy only shrugged and took off after Berkeley. With a sigh, Richie trailed behind, making sure not to lose sight of Berk’s platinum blonde hair in the crowd. She lead them to a door marked ‘Employees Only’ and pushed her way in. Following, Richie found it slightly quieter back stage.

“What are we doing, Berk?” Donny asked, not sounding so much concerned as curious.

“My friend invited us back stage,” She shrugged, “Might be cool to meet the band before they go on.”

Richie rolled his eyes, “You realize this isn’t actually Keith Richards and Mick Jagger, right? They’re a cover band, not all that exciting to meet.”

“You’re lucky none of them can hear you, Trashmouth, they’d demand I throw you out,” A voice said behind him, familiar and instantly identifiable. Suddenly, the little voice in the back of his head, that thought that had tried to present itself to him, became clear and he knew exactly who it was standing behind him.

Richie whirled around and stopped dead in his tracks, “Sandy?”

_______________________________________________________________________

“Sandy? Sandy Montgomery?” Beverly exclaimed into the phone. “As in Sexy Sandy? Your ex-girlfriend?!”

Richie laughed, shaking his head, “God, I forgot that nickname.”

“Richie, this is not funny!” Bev snapped, tucking a loose lock of hair behind her ear, “What happened when you saw her?”

“Nothing much,” Richie shrugged, stretching the phone cord as he laid back on his motel bed, “All the normal bullshit you say, I missed you, you look great, how are you. Yada yada.”

“You did not tell her she looked great, Richard,” Beverly groaned, shaking her head.

Richie’s eyebrows drew together, “Actually I said ‘totally banging’ but—“

“Richie,” Beverly took a deep breath, glancing over her shoulder to make sure Ben was still in the kitchen and Mike down the hall in his room. Lowering her voice, she sighed, “You didn’t… You didn’t flirt with her, right? Because flirting with Sandy is not like flirting with me or Stan or Mike. You have to see that.”

He shifted on his bed, sitting up against the headboard, “My flirting isn’t real flirting unless it’s with Eddie.”

“Sandy won’t see it that way and if he finds out, neither will Eddie,” Beverly snapped, “Richie, he’s trusting you. Don’t fuck that up because you will never forgive yourself.”

“Bev, I’m not fucking anything up, okay? Jesus, ye of little faith,” Richie sighed, swallowing before saying carefully, “I know he’s trusting me. I’m not doing anything to compromise that. I swear, Beverly.”

“Then why did you call me? Why not Eddie?” Beverly asked, biting her lip.

Richie’s mouth fell open, eyebrows drawing together, “That’s not—“

Beverly sighed, “Richie, I love you and I always will but just… be careful, okay? And please, please, please call Eddie. Tell him you saw Sandy.”

“Yeah, fine, whatever, Bev,” Richie cocked his head to the side, “I love you too, by the way. Always will.”

“Bye, Trashmouth.”

“Talk to you later, Red.”

Hanging up, Richie rubbed the back of his neck as he looked at the phone. It had only been about four hours since he’d talked to Eddie but Beverly’s words gave him the itch to call again. Was it really that big a deal that he ran into Sandy? They’d dated five and a half years ago, Eddie couldn’t seriously be threatened by some girl from years back… right?

Shrugging, he picked up the phone again and dialed the number for his and Eddie’s apartment. It rang a few times before the machine picked it up.

You’ve reached—Richie! Stop it, I’m doing something!— You’ve reach Eddie and—

Richie!

And Richie, leave a message and we will call you back.

Or we won’t. Don’t get your hopes up too high.

BEEP

Smiling at the outgoing message they’d taken an hour to record when they’d first found their dinky little place in the Village, Richie sighed and said, “Hey, Eds, it’s me. I just— I don’t know, I guess I missed you. I miss you. Just, uh, give me a call back when you get home, okay? I’m skipping out on the partying tonight so don’t worry, I’ll be here. So, yeah, call me. Love you.”

Dropping back on the bed, Richie let his eyes drift close.

_______________________________________________________________________

Eddie rolled his shoulders, trying in vain to rid himself of some of the knots in his back. He’d been put on stock duty for his entire shift today and was expected back The Village Grocery at 6AM sharp the next morning.

He’d had to start picking up extra time here and there when he could, having to pay two months rent and bills with only his pay. He knew Richie would send money to help if he knew but Eddie also knew Richie needed the internship money for his own living conditions in Los Angeles. They’d discussed it before Richie left and this was just how it had to play out.

Dropping his duffle that he kept his ID and uniform in off at the laundry, Eddie made his way to the kitchen to start a late dinner, as it was already 8:30. Getting some water boiling, Eddie noticed the red light blinking on the answering machine. He reached over and hit the ‘playback’ button.

“Hey, Eddie, it’s Stan. Bill and I were wondering if you wanted to come over for dinner this weekend. Let us know either way, talk to you soon.”

Eddie glanced at the calendar hanging on the side of the fridge and sighed, seeing he was working from noon to midnight on both Saturday and Sunday.

The was another beep and then the next message began.

“Hey, Eds, it’s me.” Eddie stopped, his head whirling around to look at the machine, as if he would somehow find Richie standing there and not just his voice. “I just— I don’t know, I guess I missed you. I miss you. Just, uh, give me a call back when you get home, okay? I’m skipping out on the partying tonight so don’t worry, I’ll be here. So, yeah, call me. Love you.”

Grinning to himself, Eddie looked at the clock and quickly calculated the time difference. Nodding to himself, he picked up the phone and dialed the number hastily written on a sticky note on the counter. The phone rang once, twice, and then there was a click as the call connected.

“Who’s this?”

“That’s just about the rudest way to answer the phone,” Eddie teased, smiling in spite of himself.

“Eddie Spaghetti! My Love, you called me back.” Richie grinned as well nearly 3,000 miles away.

He nodded even though he knew it was pretty pointless over the phone, “You asked me to, so yeah. I did.”

“Aww, you love me!”

“Shut up! Why did you call? I'm not complaining or anything but we just talked on my break,” Eddie rolled his eyes.

“I just forgot to tell you something earlier and Beverly got all on my ass about it so I figured I’d just call you back. Get the added bonus of talking to you twice in one day.” Richie sighed, “How much longer?”

“Six weeks… That’s 42 days to be exact,” Eddie glanced over at the calendar again where each day had a small number in the bottom right side corner. The countdown… Shaking his head at himself, Eddie cleared his throat, “What’d you want to tell me?”

“Oh, right, that,” Richie sounded apprehensive and Eddie could almost see him in his mind’s eye, picking at his cuticles or drumming his fingers against his thigh. Richie was basically just a bundle of nervous ticks. “I just… I saw Sandy last week. At a club. Well, she kind of invited me to the club. Not me me, really but yeah. I didn’t get the big fucking deal but Bev made it sound like I deserved a big ass red A on my chest or something.”

Eddie fell back to lean against the counter, crossing his free arm over his chest, “S—Sandy?” He heard how strangled he sounded and quickly cleared his throat, “Sandy Montgomery?”

“Yeah, she went to UCLA, remember? She’s two years older us? Well, she’s got this gig out here at a club, booking bands and stuff. It’s almost exactly what she used to always talk about doing. She knew one of the other interns I work with so she invited all of us and yeah…”

“I didn’t know she went to UCLA… Have— have you, uh, seen her since then?” Eddie asked, his heart pounding in his throat. Sandy was in LA with his boyfriend. Out of all the girls Richie had dated before him, why did it have to be Sandy? Sandy with her gorgeous, curly brown hair that fell down her back and always had that one stupid braid tucked behind her ear, everyday woven with a different color of stupid ribbon? Sandy, who’s stupid bright green eyes were like sky diving into a lash rainforest? That Sandy?

Richie laughed, “No, I mean, now that I’ve been trained on more around the station I don’t have as much time for the club scene so haven’t been back. But, c’mon, Eds, even if I saw her again, you know it wouldn’t even be a thing, right?”

“She was the only long term relationship you had.” Eddie argued before he could stop himself.

He heard a long pause before Richie said, slowly, “Before you. I was fucking sixteen when it ended, Eddie. It was for-fucking-ever ago.”

Eddie nodded and in the logical parts of himself, he knew all of that. He knew it’d been almost five and a half years since Richie dated Sandy but…

He dated her for seven whole months. Almost all of Sophomore year… She was the only other person Eddie knew of that Richie had been in love with. He vividly remembered the day Richie had shown up at Bill’s house for movie night in Sophomore year and exclaimed to all of them that he was completely obsessed, in love, devoted. It had been one of the worst days of his life.

Sighing in an annoyed tone, Eddie snapped back, “You know there is, like, 4 million people in all of LA and you manage to find the one girl who lives there that you’ve fucked. I’m almost impressed.”

Richie groaned in Eddie ear, “Are you seriously going to be pissed at me about this?”

Eddie bit his lip, closing his eyes and counting down before shaking his head, “No, I’m not pissed! I— I trust you, it just sucks. All of it.”

Richie was quiet for a second and Eddie wished he could see him, could watch him and observe him. Richie spoke half the time in body language alone and there was only so much Eddie could picture in his head. Finally, he spoke, “Fucking sucks, for sure. I wouldn’t— I would never— You have to know— You know?”

Eddie’s heart clenched at the worried, fearful tone Richie’s voice had taken on. Even almost 3,000 miles apart, he knew exactly what his boyfriend was struggling to say.

I wouldn’t do that to you. I would never betray your trust. You have to know that I love you too much for that.

He nodded and said, “I know.”

“Good,” Richie sounded instantly relieved, “I’ll let you go but I’ll talk to you tomorrow?”

“Definitely,” Eddie smiled.

“Eds?”

“Hmm?”

“I love you, nothing’s gonna change that.”

“I know. Me too.”

_______________________________________________________________________

July 1997

Richie laughed and shook his head, reaching over to turn up the music on the stereo beside him to block out the noises coming from down the hall of Berkeley’s apartment where she and Donny had just disappeared.

A laugh rang out, as Sandy shook her head on the couch across the living room, “Berk’s a real class act, huh?”

“Donny said weed makes him horny but I didn’t believe him since he’s high, like, ninety percent of the time,” Richie shook his head, leaning against the wall. “God, they’ve probably fucked at work!”

“They’ve totally fucked at work,” Sandy nodded, laughing again at his expression, “And I’m not just saying that, Berkeley’s told me.”

Richie sighed, looking away. He had not planned to be spending one-on-one time with Sandy Montgomery that night. He’d thought he’d just be getting high over at Berk’s place with her and Donny after work. He hadn’t known Berk had invited Sandy or that Sandy had agreed. He couldn’t be blamed for just trying to be civil, talking to her. Eddie couldn’t get pissed about this, right?

Sandy turned to fully face him, quirking an eyebrow, “I don’t bite, Trashmouth.”

Before he could stop himself, Richie quipped, “From what I remember, that’s a lie.” He immediately cringed at himself. He just couldn’t fucking shut himself off, could he?

Sandy smirked, looking away and shaking her head at him, “What I mean is you can sit down, I won’t jump your bones,” Her eyes flickered back to him, shrugging, “Unless you want me to.”

Richie swallowed and shook his head, “San, I abso-fucking-lutely can not do that.”

“San? God! No one’s called me that in years!” She laughed, shaking her head, “But you always had to come up with your little nicknames, didn’t you, Rich?”

“It’s a gift and a curse,” He shrugged, shoving his hands in his pockets, “What have you been up to?” He changed the subject, remaining right where he was leaning against the wall.

Noting this, Sandy rolled her eyes, “Honestly, I’ve just been going to school and then working since we last saw each other. And doing this,” She gestured around to the loud stereo and unrolled weed on the coffee table, “Having fun.”

Richie nodded, “I’d fucking hope so. Because I can’t picture a version of Sandra Montgomery that doesn’t know how to have some fun.”

“You’re one to talk,” Sandy challenged.

He shrugged, “Fair enough.”

They fell silent and Richie almost wished that Donny and Berkeley were still going at it loud and proud just to give him something to laugh about. There was just an awkwardness instead. The awkwardness that probably always fell between two people who had once regularly seen each other naked and now hadn’t in years.

“Richie?” Sandy asked, standing up.

He looked at her, “Hmm?”

“Why didn’t you follow me to LA? Where were you three years ago?” She said, crossing her arms over her chest, “We said that was the plan, didn’t we? LA, once you graduated and we’d make it work, together. So, where were you?”

Richie stared at her before looking at his feet. He had said all that, hadn’t he? He’d almost forgotten, he’d never told anyone about that, not even Beverly or Eddie or Stan. But those were the promises of a boy, not who he was now.

He looked back up at her, “I was in New York. All us Losers go to school there. I’m at NYU.”

“Richie, I waited,” She exclaimed, frustration clear in her voice, “I waited two years for you to call or write or show up and you didn’t.”

“I didn’t ask you to,” He argued, shaking his head, “I didn’t wait. I moved on.”

“Moved on?” She echoed, stepping forward, “But we both said—“

“I was sixteen, Sandy! Things have fucking changed since then and maybe I should have wrote or called but it wouldn’t have made any damn difference! We were over when you left,” Richie argued, standing up straight.

Sandy looked away, lips pursed, “You were supposed to follow me.”

“I couldn’t. I didn’t fucking want to anymore,” Richie shrugged, “Sorry for saying that, but it’s the truth. I applied to UCLA, I got in and I didn’t fucking want to go.”

“Why not?” Sandy yelled, “Forget about me, what about getting as fucking far away from Derry as possible? New York is like a three hour fucking drive from Derry! Why there?”

“Because of Eddie!” Richie yelled back before sighed and shaking his head, “Because Eddie was going to New York.”

“Eddie?” Sandy said, quieter, looking taken aback before nodding, “Eddie, of course.” She licked her lips and looked back at him, “So you finally figured that out, did you?”

“What the fuck does that mean?” Richie gave her a look.

“He was crushed out on you even back when I was around. I thought you knew that,” Sandy cocked her head, “I used to think you’d spend time with him just to piss me off. Make me jealous.”

“What? No!” Richie looked confused, “He was my best friend, he still is, that’s why I spent time with him.”

Sandy hummed, “But I was still right back then, wasn’t I? He was more than just your best friend wasn’t he?”

“Not while we were dating, no,” Richie shook his head, “Why does everyone think I’m a fucking cheat?”

She laughed, lightly, “I don’t think you cheated on me. At least not on purpose. But you had feelings for Eddie when we were together, didn’t you?”

He looked at her, shrugging, “I’ve basically always had feelings for Eddie.”

“See?” Sandy gestured to him, “So, you could never give me everything.”

Richie took a moment to think that over before nodding. She was right, he supposed. When they’d dated, he’d tried so fucking hard to make her the center of his world. And he’d nearly succeeded. He’d been pretty convinced that he was really in love with her, that she was the only way for him to get over that annoying pull he’d felt to Eddie Kaspbrak since he was 13. That pull that he thought there was no way Eddie felt as well.

And when they’d ended, he had hurt, it had sucked but he had survived it. He’d gotten over it, moved on from it only to find that Eddie was still right there, in his chest and in his brain, infecting his thoughts and feelings, impossible to get over, never to be moved on from.

“We’re were good together,” Sandy spoke up and Richie turned to look at her, raising his eyebrows. She sighed and shook her head, pointing at him, “At least we never fought.”

“Yeah,” Richie shrugged, “It was fucking boring as hell.”

She rolled her eyes before she smiled at him weakly and kindly, “I’m glad you’re happy.”

Feeling a sudden, engulfing need to hear his boyfriend’s voice, Richie nodded, “Thanks. I should go. Good luck, San.”

_______________________________________________________________________

Riiiiing! Riiiiiing! Riiiiiiing!

Eddie gasped, eyes flying open as he jerked awake. Looking over at the phone on Richie’s bedside table, he saw the clock next to it read 4:27am. Groaning, he crawled over to Richie’s side and slowly raised the receiver to his ear, blearily slurring, “Hello?”

“Hey, baby,” A soft voice answered and his heart skipped a beat as he suddenly snapped awake.

“Richie? Why are you calling me at 4 in the morning?” He asked, annoyed despite the thrill in the pit of his stomach. He waited for Richie to say his usual dumb shit like phone sex or… Nope, late night calls were usually just about phone sex.

“Shit, sorry, I forgot the time difference, I just…Wanted to hear your voice. Talk to you.” He sounded weird and Eddie sat up against the headboard, trying to wake himself up more.

Eddie worried at his lip, “Why? What’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong,” Richie sighed, “I just really fucking wish I was home. Los Angeles is probably really fucking awesome but I’m getting to the point were I can’t even see the appeal, I just want to be with you. I always want to be with you.”

Shaking his head, Eddie half laughed, “Are you high?”

There was a beat of silence, “A touch, yes, but I still mean it. We’re right for each other. You’re fucking it for me, Eds. There’s never gonna be anyone else. Ever.”

“Richie, go to bed,” Eddie sighed, lightly smiling to himself.

“You’re thinkin’ the same way, right? That we’re it for each other? That this is it?” Richie asked, sounding very unlike himself. He needed this though, Eddie could tell, this reassurance and confirmation.

Eddie nodded, gripping the phone very tightly, “Of course, Trashmouth. This, you and me, we’re it.”

He listened as Richie took a deep breath, echoing, “We’re it.”

“Now, go to sleep, Rich.”

“Will do. I love the shit out of you.”

“Me too, Charmer. Take care of yourself and call me at a reasonable time tomorrow… later today, I guess.”

“As you wish, Eddie, my love.”

_______________________________________________________________________

“7 days,” Richie answered his phone.

He heard Eddie sighed, “I almost wish I hadn’t actually been the one calling, just to hear you sounding like a fucking idiot to someone who has no clue what you’re talking about.”

“Eds, you’re like the third person to call that I’ve answered that way,” Richie said, “It’s been an awkward day.”

Eddie laughed, shaking his head, “What’s going on there?”

“Same old, same old,” Richie shrugged, twirling a pen between his fingers, “I’m working on my mock-up for my last show on Friday.”

“I wish I could hear it, so do the others,” Eddie commented, twirling his fingers around the cord of the phone.

Richie laughed, “I’m glad you can’t, you’d be fucking pissed about some of the shit I’ve said about you on air.”

“Richie!”

“Kidding!”

There was a little, comfortable silence as Richie grinned, nearly seeing Eddie standing in their kitchen, rolling his eyes. After a second of just listening to his boyfriend’s soft breathing, Richie spoke up again, “They told me that if I moved back after graduation, I’d have a job.”

“Oh,” Eddie took a deep breath, “That’s— That’s—“

“I told them I got other plans but thanks,” Richie said, hearing Eddie’s choked voice.

Eddie groaned, “Richie, maybe you shouldn’t have—“

“Eds, LA isn’t where you want to be so it ain’t where I belong. I’ll go where ever you fucking want to go after graduation, New York, even Derry, if you want. I know you miss her, Eddie, even if you won’t admit it.”

Eddie felt his eyes burn and tried to swallow the lump in his throat. He didn’t want to, he hated himself for it sometimes, but Richie was right… He missed his mother. They hadn’t spoken in two, going on three years. Since he’d gone home for Christmas break Freshman year and told her he was gay. That he was dating Richie Tozier.

She’d kicked him out. In hindsight, he probably shouldn’t have told her on Christmas Eve. He’d driven the long drive back to New York, crying most of the time and ended up cuddling with Richie on the couch in the apartment Ben, Bev and Mike still shared since the dorms were closed for the holidays. He shouldn’t miss someone who did that to him… But he couldn’t help it. She was still his mother.

His nonresponse was all the answer Richie needed, though.

Richie nodded to himself, “Yeah, I thought so. My point is, I’ll be there, where ever you need me. No more bullshit like this two month apart shit-fest. My dick can’t take it, it’ll fall off or something.”

Eddie groaned, cover his face with his hand, “Dammit, Richard! Just when I think you’re being sweet, you make it about your dick again.”

_______________________________________________________________________

Richie stepped out of the passenger boarding bridge, looking around for a familiar face in the crowd as he walked forward.

“Richie!”

“Rich!”

“Richie!”

“Trashmouth!”

A chorus of voices called out for him from a few yards away and he turned to see all the Losers being lead by Eddie. He started towards his boyfriend, walking fast before they both broke into a run at the same time. Slamming together, Richie gripped Eddie so close it might have bruised but Eddie didn’t care, throwing his arms around Richie’s neck and holding him just as tight. Their lips crashed together almost painfully, but after two months without so much as a brush of lips, they didn’t dare let up.

After several moments, they were forced to come up for air, both loosening their grips but neither dropping their arms. Eddie ran his hands over Richie’s neck, brushing the hair at the nape of his neck, trailing down his shoulder and chest, eyeing him with dark eyes.

Glancing behind him to see the Losers standing back with exasperated looks, he got up of tip toe, pulling Richie close and whispering in his ear, “Just wait till I get you alone.”

Richie threw back his head with a groan of frustration before Eddie slipped out of his arms to allow the others their hugs. Beverly bounded up and Richie met her, lifting her right off her feet and spinning her around before setting her back on the ground.

“I missed you, Red.”

“Yeah, you too, Asshat.”

Mike hugged him next, squeezing his arm, “Good to have you back, Rich.”

Stanley hugged him and was quickly followed up by Bill, both giving him full grins.

Last, Ben clapped him on the back, “Fancy LA DJ now, huh?”

“Eh,” Richie shrugged, eyes flickering over to meet Eddie’s, “LA ain’t all it’s cracked up to be.”

Eddie’s face split into a smile and he bit his lip, not daring to drop Richie’s gaze.

[cyberdva]

Drummer Boy Part 1 Roger Taylor X Reader

(Originally From My Wattpad Book @panicathetrash15 )

This is my first fic I’ve written that I’m posting to Tumblr and if anyone has some suggestions on how to improve my writing go ahead and spill.

Paring: Ben Hardy!Roger Taylor X Reader 

Song: Rocket Man By Elton John

Warnings: None

Words: 1.6k

Main Masterlist

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5 

Part 6 

Part 7 

Part 8 

Part 9

Part 10

______

Y/N POV

______

"Come on Y/N! We have to sign up, it's the first year we're eligible to compete!" my fellow bandmate, Cynthia had been trying for the past thirty minutes to get our band to join a contest.

"I don't know Cynth, do you actually think we're that good to win that." I laid down the newspaper that I had been loosely reading.  Nothing interesting has been going on in the news lately, just fluff like Rocket Man being Number 1 on the charts and the latest government testing with nuclear weapons.

My thoughts were cut short by Crystal, our bands singer slamming my flat's door open and shouting, "Did she say yes yet?" As she walked into the room Cynthia shook her head no.

Crystal pleaded, "Come on Y/N, this could be our big break." I was honestly torn about this.

"Dream on guys, there's no way in actually hell that we would win that."

"Stop being such a spaz, the winner gets money and a record deal, we could really use that and you know it." Cynthia mocked.

"Wait, really?! That's sick! Maybe we should at least try out."

"When are auditions?" Our bass player, and only British person in the band, Tammy was leaning on the door frame.

"Um, the poster says July 21th, that's only six days away. Are we using our own songs or doing a cover?" Cynth looked to Crystal for information.

Crystal paced around the retro carpet we had in our small living room before coming to a swift conclusion," We do a cover of a popular song and then ease into our originals," she quickly gestured to the newspaper I was reading," In honor of Elton's recent success I say we do Rocket Man for the audition."

"That's perfect!" I chanted, I was a huge Elton fan and I really dig the idea.

"That's a bloody awesome idea mate! We better start practicing if we want to in. There's a rumor that Queen may be trying out too." Tammy gushed.

"Who's Queen?" I asked, I was genuinely confused, the name seemed familiar.

My friends gasped,"You're not serious are you, if you don't know who Queen is I may just kick you out of the band."

"No, I really don't, the name rings a bell."

"You idiot, I went on a date with their guitarist Brian, I heard some of their demos they're the bomb!" Cynthia blushed.

"Ah that Queen, I've heard of them. Hopefully they don't beat us we really need that money. If they're so good why are they  trying out for a Battle Of the Bands?" I questioned.

"Who knows, who cares. We need to practice, everyone go grab their stuff we're leaving in 10." Crystal cut in.

I peeled the blanket I had on my lap off my bodied, swiftly headed upstairs to grab my guitar.

-----------

We pulled into the venue, after hard days pf practicing our band was ready, we were first to preform and I was kind of stressed out about it. We all hopped out of Tammy's small car and got our gear out of the back, loading it onto a cart we all started to push it inside to set up.

Crystal was a perfectionist so we sent her to set everything up while we stay backstage prepping ourselves. As we made our way back I violently collided with a blonde haired man who looked extremely angry.

"Watch where you're going." We both said, he scowled at me and I gave him a nasty stare back, before anything escalated a man with puffy hair, who I presume is Brian carted the man/child away with an apologetic look. Oh great, the douche is in my roommate's boyfriends band. Fabulous. My attention was snagged by a man in a flashy outfit who sashayed up to me.

"Don't mind him, Roger gets extremely fussy of he doesn't have his cigarette." we both chuckled. "I'm Freddie Mercury, are you preforming also."

I nodded,"Yeah, we're going first. My name's Y/N L/N, enchanted to meet you, my friend talks about your band a lot."

His eyes glistened, "Really no way!" he said. I smiled back, nodding once more. Maybe Queen isn't so bad, but I won't let my guard down we really need to win this.

"Y/N! We're on in five." I started to feel an empty pit in my stomach, nervousness started to consume me. Freddie gave me a hug, " Don't get nervous, good luck!" He slickly walked away to check on Roger. I went behind the curtain to look for my guitar, hopefully we don't fail this audition.

-------

"First up is the band "Toxic Capricorn" preforming Rocket Man by Elton John. Good Luck Girls!"

With my guitar strapped around my shoulder and hugging my waist I trotted on stage quickly. I wanted this to end quickly and gracefully. No matter how long I've been preforming I can't shake the feeling away.

Familiar keys were played by a pianist hired by the venue and Crystal started to sing,

She packed by bag last night, preflight Zero hour, nine a.m. And I'm gonna be high As a kite by then

I miss the earth so much I miss my wife It's lonely out in space On such a timeless flight

And I think it's gonna be a long, long, time 'Til touchdown brings me 'round again to find I'm not the man they think I am at home Ah, no no no... I'm a rocket man Rocket man Burnin' out his fuse Up here alone

I started strumming slowly on my guitar, Crystal's voice faded away as I continued. I felt some eyes on me as I played softly gradually adjusting to the stage. 

Mars ain't the kind of place To raise your kids In fact, it's cold as hell And there's no one there to raise them If you did

And all this science I don't understand It's just my job Five days a week A Rocket Man Rocket Man

And I think it's gonna be a long, long, time 'Til touchdown brings me 'round again to find I'm not the man they think I am at home Ah, no no no...

I opened my eyes a bit to see Roger looks at us disapprovingly and then complaining to the band about something to do with us. Just thinking about the mean words he could be spitting out made me mess up a chord or two, no one seemed to mind. I continued on just wanted to get the song over with.

And I think it's gonna be a long, long, time 'Til touchdown brings me 'round again to find I'm not the man they think I am at home Ah, no no no... I'm a rocket man Rocket man Burnin' out his fuse Up here alone

And I think it's gonna be a long, long, time And I think it's gonna be a long, long, time And I think it's gonna be a long, long, time

Long, long, time Long, long, time

Ah, no, no, no... Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no...

We played our last few noted and most people clapped which made me feel a bit better about my playing. I brushed my hair out of my bright red face. The judges sitting in the front of us wrote something down and we stepped of stage.

Once we got our instruments out of the way we heard the same announcer from before say ,"Next up we have the band Queen also playing the song Rocket Man by Elton John. Good Luck boys!" People muttered things under their breath as I was in complete astonishment. I floated into my own thoughts as the same keys were plucked into the piano,that was now played by Freddie.

She packed by bag last night, preflight Zero hour, nine a.m. And I'm gonna be high As a kite by then

What if one of us don't make it because we chose the same song? Or worse we don't make it because of my foolish mistakes while playing from before!

I miss the earth so much I miss my wife It's lonely out in space On such a timeless flight

Queen is so much more experienced of course they'll make it instead of us. We're completely screwed.

And I think it's gonna be a long, long, time 'Til touchdown brings me 'round again to find I'm not the man they think I am at home Ah, no no no... I'm a rocket man Rocket man Burnin' out his fuse Up here alone

And even if both of us make it Queen will hate us for sure since we used the same song! If we get on their bad side who knows what will happen!

And I think it's gonna be a long, long, time 'Til touchdown brings me 'round again to find I'm not the man they think I am at home Ah, no no no...

This isn't good, what if I have a panic attack while playing or if I faint or if I mess up even more next time! If there even is a next time!

And I think it's gonna be a long, long, time 'Til touchdown brings me 'round again to find I'm not the man they think I am at home Ah, no no no... I'm a rocket man Rocket man Burnin' out his fuse Up here alone

Tammy shakes me out of my thoughts before I get deeper into my pit of despair.

"Are you ok? You zoned out for a long time."

And I think it's gonna be a long, long, time And I think it's gonna be a long, long, time And I think it's gonna be a long, long, time

"Yeah I'm fine." No I'm not.

"Can we go get some water, I'm a bit light headed." I breathily sputtered out.

Tammy glanced to Cynthia with a worried look plastered on her face, "Yeah of course!"

She put a hand on my shoulder as we slowly walked away as the song faded out.

Ah, no, no, no... Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no...

I breathed in and out thinking about happy things, but all I saw was Roger's sour face as I played on stage and how our rivalry had just begun. I knew this wasn't the end, at least for now.

[mr-hoebot]

Watch the Stars - Chapter One

Pairing || Ben Hardy!Roger Taylor x OC

Note || Uhm. So. I’m really fuckin apprehensive about posting this. I have never dabbled in RPF before because it’s so...controversial and I totally get why. In this case, I’m really not writing about the real people involved here, but the biography that was based off of them? Which is still about real people. I was basically inspired by the movie if that makes sense, and I’m writing entirely in the context of the movie. This is 100% fictionalized and not meant to offend anyone. Julie-Anna is just a character who popped into my head. 

So anyways. I don’t encourage involving any actual real-life people in fiction written online, and all that. I just figured that the BohRap fandom seemed like a pretty nice place. So I thought I’d give it a shot and see if you guys will like, accept me into your fold or whatever. 

Summary || After playing a show on Halloween night in New Orleans, Queen’s drummer takes off on his own and is solicited by a very unusual woman who is definitely going to drive him crazy. 

Content || Past parental abuse, drinking, drugs, sexual assault (not romanticized in any form), smut. 

It’s late. Julie-Anna Ackerton doesn’t know what time it is, she just knows that it’s late because the sky has been dark for a while now. She checks it every now and then for the aliens. There’s nothing.

Maybe next time.

In a tiny gas station restroom a few hours earlier, she sprayed on perfume that smells like artificial candy apples, tried and failed not to smudge her eyeliner, and pulled a ratty faux fur coat on over her dress. Now she’s standing out on the middle of the road, heels in hand. They started hurting her feet after some time and she’s not getting any clients tonight anyways.

New Orleans is even buzzier than usual tonight, and it’s not just because of Halloween. There was a concert on at the Municipal Theater and she can feel the ground shaking, hear the cheers of the crowd, feel the wild excitement of people pouring out of the venue, chattering to each other about how amazing it had been.

Julie realizes just then that she can add it to the list of things she’s never done. Never been to a concert. The list just keeps growing longer.

1. Never been really kissed for real for real for real.

2. Never had a beautiful dress like a princess, just like in the movies.

3. I can’t give you the whole list. It would go on forever!

Well, Julie might not have a beautiful princess dress, but she has a silky negligee coming apart at the seams. She shifts her coat off her shoulders and starts walking, pausing by a car with a few men inside.

“Any of you gentlemen looking for a good time?” It doesn’t sound at all like her, but it’s what she’s supposed to say. Still, it never comes out as sultry as it’s meant to. She always sounds too eager and soft.

“I’m spoken for, honey.” The man in the front puffs on a cigarette. “Get lost.”

Concerts are usually a good night for business, but this one is proving to be a bust.

“Are you looking for a good time?”

“Would you like some company tonight?”

“I’m feeling lonely. Could I hitch a ride?”

None of it matters. All the chatter in the world hasn’t gotten her anyone, and Julie is getting desperate. Slowly, she’s drifted away from the bright lights of the main streets and fallen into the shadows behind Halloween costumes and concert memorabilia.

Julie steps out of an alley and keeps walking, keeping her eyes out for any parked cars that might contain possible clients. She scans the area and sees several people drive by, a few drunken stragglers stumbling home with their arms around each other, a woman shouting at her boyfriend.

And a car parked right up on the curb.

Julie fluffs up her hair and tries to saunter forward, imagining herself looking very beautiful and irresistible. Isn’t that what she needs?

The car window is rolled up, so she taps on it a few times to get the driver’s attention. When it rolls down to reveal a blonde man with red eyes, smoking a cigarette, she feels her heart skip a few beats.

Wow wow wow! This isn’t for the list of things I’ve never done. But wow!

“Can I help you?” the man asks. He looks exhausted. Bad news.

“Um.” Julie opens her mouth, then shuts it, suddenly finding herself forgetting her lines. “Oh! Yes. I remember. Are you looking for some company tonight?”

He rolls his eyes. “I don’t need to pay for company.”

“Oh,” she replies dejectedly, “Oh. Yeah. I guess not.”

Before she can say anything else, the man is rolling the window up. The car still doesn’t move though, and just as she starts to walk away, she’s hit with the realization that she needs a ride back home. She hitched one into town with a trucker driving in for the night, but he’s long gone now.

Julie spins around on her heel and stumbles back over to the car to tap on the window again. When the man rolls the window down, he looks irritated. “What?”

“Let’s trade.”

“Trade what?”

“Could you take me home? Please? I’ll make it worth your while. Do you know what worth your while means? I’ve learned it’s very persuasive.”

He stares at her in confusion, “Are you serious? I’m not having sex with you to give you a ride home.”

Julie swallows the lump in her throat that’s started to form. Tonight hasn’t brought her anything but bad luck and she’s going to need to pay rent soon. “Please? Oh, it won’t take long. I would walk but I get lost a lot, especially in the dark. Once I got lost and walked into a small pond. I stood there very confused because I didn’t know why my feet and legs were wet. And then I said, ‘Oh Julie-Anna Ackerton, you walked into a pond! That’s why your feet and legs are wet!’ Then I looked for frogs, but I didn’t find any. But I know my address. It’s-“

“Okay, okay!” The man puts his hand up. “Get in. I guess I need to drive somewhere anyway.”

She claps her hands excitedly. “Thank you! Thank you so much! You’re very nice! Very, very, very nice. Very, very-“

“Please just get in.” He actually looks like he might smile. “Julie-Anna Ackerton, huh?”

“That’s right,” Julie says cheerfully, opening the door to the other side and getting in. The car smells like cigarette smoke, so she rolls the window down. “Do you like my name?”

“Sure I do. It’s a nice name.” He starts to drive but extends one hand to shake hers. “I’m Roger.” “It’s real nice to meet you,” Julie shakes his hand excitedly and slips her coat off of her shoulders. “Why’re you just sitting in your car?”

He shrugs. “It’s not mine. I rented it. I needed to drive, clear my head. It was kind of a wild night.”

“Did you go to the concert? I saw lots of people going. I’ve never been to one before, but I think it would probably be magic and beautiful. I really like music. Did you have fun?”

Roger looks over at her, surprised. “Well, yeah. I mean, kind of.”

“You kind of had fun?”

“No, I mean-I kind of went to the concert. I mean, I played it. I’m the drummer for the band.”

Julie gasped, her inner voice telling her to calm down, even thought it was just so, so hard. “How neat! I wish I could be a drummer. Or a singer. Or a movie star. Or a goddess. I just want to be a beautiful beauty queen. Do you think I could be a beauty queen?”

“Oh yeah. Definitely. Why aren’t you one?”

Julie sighs sadly. “I don’t have a beautiful dress or a special talent, and you need those, I guess. But if I close my eyes really tight and try to dream, I can imagine that I’m Miss America, y’ know? And it’s so beautiful. I look like a superstar.” She emphasizes the last word with all the reverence and adoration of someone talking about a religious icon.

“I’m gonna be a superstar one day,” she tells him.

Roger laughs and turns a corner, “I don’t doubt it.”

“Are you going to be a star too?”

He shrugs. “I don’t know. I feel like I already am, but I guess that could be me getting ahead of myself. Fifteen minutes of fame and all that. I’m just trying to enjoy it while it lasts.” He falters a bit, looking unsure.

“Aren’t you?” Julie asks.

“Aren’t I what?”

“Enjoying it.”

“Oh. Well, sure. I am. I just…I don’t know. I was kind of stressed out tonight. I don’t think I played as well as I could have. I got in a fight with our guitarist. Things were loud and we were drinking…” he shuts his eyes for a moment before focusing again on the road and sighing, “I guess I just needed some time to myself. So. Rented a car and here I am with you. Which was not part of my plan by the way.”

“Sorry,” Julie says cheerfully, “But maybe I can make you feel better. I can tell you a joke.”

“You don’t have to-“

“What’s red and moves up and down?” Without waiting for an answer, she hurriedly says, “A tomato in an elevator.”

Roger snorts, “You’ve got to be joking.”

“I am. It was a joke.”

“No, I mean-nevermind. That was really funny, Julie-Anna.” It comes out with obvious sarcasm.

“Oh, you can just call me Julie,” she says, “Everyone does except for Dad, and he doesn’t really like me that much.”

“I’m sorry. Speaking of, where did you say you lived again?”

Julie-Anna lists out the address, the same old place on the edge of town that she’s been for ages. The same place she always will be, until she’s a famous beauty queen.

[skeletonscribbles]

Wishes - Finale

it is....finished. thank you all for the love you’ve shown this little story. I love these Losers so much and I will miss the hell out of this AU, but...this is where I leave them, so, without further ado:

Title: “The Second Star To The Right” (Richie)

Warnings: I personally am sad because it’s over but otherwise I don’t think anything except Bad Star Wars Jokes

Rating: G

Read on Ao3

Tag List:  @roobarrtrashmouth @jem-carstairs-is-perfection@tozier-club @aizeninlefox @stanheartsbill@imrichie @softeds@pretzelstoday @melancholypurple@wheezygreens@ayyyymichele @loser-marsh Special Shoutout to Michele ( @ayyyymichele) for all the wonderful art she’s produced for this AU. she’s incredible and I am so fucking grateful <3

RICHIE TOZIER ATTRACTIONS CAST - JUNGLE CRUISE soon to be NOT EMPLOYED BY THE MOUSE but for the meantime, he’s in ANAHEIM, CALIFORNIA - DISNEYLAND PARK JULY 20th 8 P.M.

“I have something to say.”

If any one of the five people trudging towards Tomorrowland that weren’t Eddie had spoken up, Richie would have kept on walking. Total cold shoulder, doneski. He was tired of hashing shit out with his friends in public places, and they’d all promised to be cool at Disneyland. They’d kept that promise so far. There was no reason to ruin everything with only two park hours left in the whole fucking trip.

But. It was Eddie, so he did what needed to be done.

He stopped in the dead center of the walkway, and let Stan, Bev, and Bill crash into him like demented human dominoes.

“Richard,” Stan said into his back. Richie hadn’t turned around to assess the damage - he couldn’t, given the fact that Stan’s face was firmly planted between his shoulder blades - but the violent whispered curses and smack of hands against pavement coming from behind him suggested that Bev and Bill had truly been knocked down and were getting back up again, Chumbawumba style.

“In my defense--” Richie began, but he knew before he even started the sentence that it was fruitless. There was a 100% chance that Stan was going to shove him towards the nearest trashcan (and there was always a nearest trashcan - good ol’ Walt with his ‘trashcans every 10 feet’ rule).

His only real mistake was trying to catch his fall with his hands rather than just crashing into the aluminum menace forthright. Putting his arms out in front of him meant that he pushed open the swinging trash cover just enough to be elbow-deep in someone’s discarded Dole Whip.

“Well,” Richie said, extracting his hands and assessing the damage. “At least we weren’t in Toontown. Dunno what I would have all over my hands if we were.”

“Yeah, at least coming out of Adventureland you know that if it’s yellow-orange, it’s Dole Whip,” Ben agreed. Bev, who was still glowering at Richie, smacked Ben on the arm as if to chastise him for even speaking to Richie, and Ben was forced to shrug apologetically.

“Oh, you idiot. You deserved that.” Richie heard Eddie’s disgruntled mumbling before he saw him, but even without the visual, Richie knew exactly what his boyfriend was doing: rushing towards Richie with Kleenex and maybe a wet wipe in his outstretched hands. Richie turned a little bit to look at Eddie’s frenzied fumbling, smiled softly at the sight, and decided that it probably wasn’t the right moment to tell him that he hadn’t zipped his fanny pack back up all the way. There’d be a funnier time to break that news - like right before they were strapped in at Space Mountain, for example.

Richie took the Kleenex and looked back at the rest of their friends. Bill was examining his hands - it looked like he’d taken the brunt of the fall, as further evidenced by the expression on Mike’s face as he looked conflictedly between Bill’s stinging red palms and Richie’s face. Stan was over leaning on the nearest lamppost, a satisfied smirk on his face, and Ben and Bev were right behind Eddie, trying and failing not to giggle to themselves over Eddie’s nursing tendencies.

Even with everything that had just gone down, the energy in the air felt really chill. The seven of them were zen with one another in a way that they hadn’t been since the previous fall, and Richie was totally into it.

He turned his eyes back down towards Eddie, who was muttering to himself as he meticulously sanitized and wiped down every inch of Richie’s hands, and allowed himself to feel a little bit surprised.

It was kind of a fucking miracle that their little orientation group of sorts had made it through the year.

More than that - it was definitely a fucking miracle that Mike was crossing over to Stan the way that he was, that their mock-exasperated nudges were still precursors to enclasped hands. It was a gigantic fucking miracle that Eddie was getting rid of the Kleenex, now, and attaching himself to Richie’s side like a sloth - a gigantic fucking miracle that Richie had to re-wrap his mind around every damn day.

Ben and Bev were...less of a miracle, but that was heterosexuals for you. Richie didn’t begrudge them their stability - in fact, he was pretty frigging impressed by it, especially given the shit Bev had gone through. (As the only two occasional smokers in the group and often the only two who had any taste in anything at all, they’d decided to suck it up and go all in on their individual friendship...and fuck, had that been a good decision. It was enough to make him almost regret heckling her at costuming before they’d really known each other, now. Almost.)

And then the biggest miracle of all was Bill fucking Denbrough, who had now crossed to lean against the offending trash can. Richie was no expert on maturity, but even he could tell that Bill was a different kind of dude now than he was six months ago (never mind the kid he’d been when he and Richie had first met). 25 years old, and Bill was finally getting somewhere.

And Richie...Richie was too. It was different, but also kind of the same, so he and Bill had a neat little solidarity that neither of them really understood going on. It was pretty fucking great.

“Eddie, did you want to say something?” Bill asked, steadfastly ignoring his phone buzzing in his pocket in favor of paying attention to his friends. Richie made eye contact with Stan upon noticing Bill’s lack of attachment to his device, because he knew Stan would notice too, and they shared an impressed eyebrow waggle before turning towards Eddie.

“Yes.” Richie couldn’t see Eddie’s face in the position that they were in, just the top of his head, but he could feel Eddie nodding against his arm. “And it’s important.”

“You’re leaving Richie for me,” Mike guessed, sliding his hand out from where it had been intertwined with Stan’s and planting it on his hip jauntily. Richie mirrored him with his own hand, bopping his hip a little to distract everyone from the fact that he really, really hated this joke.

Not that they didn’t know, anyway. Not that he hadn’t made it obvious every damn time that he was sensitive or insecure or whatever the fuck about this particular thing. But - what kind of funnyman was he if he couldn’t take a joke, right? Even if it was the same damn joke about one of Richie’s deepest fears made for a month straight .

But - there was still something different in the air tonight, and Richie could tell that Stan was in touch with it. He was less drawn back than usual; more comfortable in his own skin - if Richie was going to do an impression of the Stan in front of him in that very instant, he’d slump his shoulders a little bit instead of drawing them up to his ears like he usually did.

It was probably for that reason that Stan said “Say it, Eddie,” instead of his usual “No, you’re leaving Richie for ME,” and Richie let out a relieved guffaw.

“Hit it, Fer-gie,” he drawled, keeping Stan’s ‘say it, Eddie’ cadence, and Stan flipped him off with a sweet, sappy grin.

Eddie noticed absolutely none of the weirdness in the previous exchange, which Richie found to be equal parts adorable and concerning. He just plowed on ahead.

“I want to remind everyone that Bev and I have little legs,” Eddie said, taking a moment to glare at every single one of them individually, “and that we have been walking for four days, and when you have to jog to keep up--”

“Good point!” Bev chimed in. “You’re giants and monsters, all of you.”

“So,” Bill said, looking between Eddie and Bev in an attempt to figure out what was being asked of him. “You’re...tired?”

“And also I would like some ice cream,” Eddie finished, and immediately turned on Richie to give puppy-dog eyes.

God, the fucking puppy-dog eyes. He really needed to get better at resisting those, or he’d be at Eddie’s beck and call for the rest of his miserable--

...well, no. It wouldn’t be miserable if it were with Eddie - not by a long shot.

“I’ll buy you one,” Richie said resolutely, and then absolutely couldn’t help but lean down and kiss his smiling mouth.

(He still couldn’t really believe he got to do that whenever he wanted, when all was said and done. He wasn’t about to waste an opportunity.)

“We can afford to slow down, definitely.” Ben was smiling that soft, easy, reassuring Ben smile, and Richie kind of loved him for it. He was shutting down the ‘pack as much as you can into the last two hours’ counterargument before it had even begun. “Maybe we just do Star Tours and then head to the hub for the fireworks? If we get there early we’ll probably be closer to the castle.”

“Good deal,” Richie agreed, grinning at the thought of riding Star Tours again. He’d been making up new little incorrect facts about Star Wars throughout the trip and feeding them to Eddie, and he was hoping that by the time they finished their vacation, Eddie would have total confidence in a version of Star Wars that absolutely did not exist. He was sure that particular prank would pay off solidly someday. “Wanna walk?”

“Ice cream cart first,” Eddie insisted, grabbing Richie’s hand and leading him out towards Main Street. “I wanna bite Mickey’s ice cream ears off.”

“Bizarre and vaguely sexual of you, Eddie,” Stan commented, mirroring Eddie by taking Mike’s hand and pulling. “We’re in.”

“Same,” chorused Bev, sneaking up to push her way in the middle of Richie and Eddie. They allowed her into their sphere with matching smiles, slinging their arms over and around her. “Boys? You ready?”

Ben and Bill looked quickly at one another, and then back at Bev, and Richie inhaled sharply. There was a secret inherent in their interaction - Richie was kind of generally a dumbass, but he was good at reading a room, and what Ben and Bill had going seemed like kind of a big deal.

Was tonight going to be the night…?

Bev, for her part, didn’t suspect a thing. She waved an idle hand at them and carried on. “Hurry up, then.”

Richie bit his lip and allowed himself to be dragged along. His thoughts were racing, which meant he was uncharacteristically silent amidst his friends’ chatter.

If Ben was going to say his piece, Richie should probably follow suit, right? Not that Ben’s thing and Richie’s thing were even remotely similar, but...Richie was starting to learn that it was better to have everything out in the open.

It was funny, he thought, that wishes came with responsibilities - that he’d gotten exactly what he wanted with his friends and his relationships, and things were still sometimes hard. There was no way around having to fix his garbage communication skills anymore. Self-improvement had become a weird sort of necessity.

But. Maybe he had kind of wished for that, too.

“Eddie,” he said, willing himself to not chicken out.

They had arrived at the ice cream cart. Eddie disentangled himself from Bev, slid past Stan and Mike, and planted himself in front of Richie, eyes dark with concern.

“My whole name, huh?” Eddie asked softly, biting at his bottom lip. Behind him, Bill and Ben were finally approaching the group. They were talking in low voices, and Richie clenched his fists, wishing vaguely to have some of their strength; to be less terrified of telling the truth.

“Eds,” Richie corrected himself, pushing a hand back through his hair nervously. “I’ve been meaning...I was going to tell you something. Or ask. Maybe.”

Eddie’s eyes widened. “Richie, if this is a proposal, why did you pick the least romantic spot in all of Disneyland--”

“No, no,” Richie said quickly, putting his hands in front of him to drive home the point. “No. Uh. I got a call right before we left from the theatre I’ve been performing at, and they have an opening for a full-time member of their production team…”

“You told me you applied,” Eddie reminded him, putting a reassuring hand on his forearm. “Are you trying to tell me you got the job?”

Richie stared at Eddie’s face, willing him to express some kind of emotion for Richie to gauge, but it wasn’t taking - Eddie’s features remained annoyingly blank.

“Yes,” Richie said, closing his eyes and hoping for the best. “And. I think...I think I really want it.”

Eddie didn’t respond out loud for a moment. Instead, he slid a hand up to Richie’s face, and traced his thumb over Richie’s cheekbone.

“I’m so proud of you,” Eddie whispered, and Richie felt all of the tension leave his body in one fell swoop. He fell down into Eddie’s arms bonelessly, and Eddie stumbled backwards a little bit.

“It means that I’d be leaving the company,” Richie reminded him, lips tight against Eddie’s ear.

“But it’s a permanent position,” Eddie replied, and Richie could all but see the smile on his cute little face. “You’re going to be in Orlando, still. We’re going to be together.”

“We are,” Richie confirmed, straightening up and smiling back down at Eddie. “I was just...I didn’t know if--”

Eddie laughed sweetly and took both of Richie’s hands in his own. “Idiot. Aren’t we past this? I love you.” He tilted his face up expectantly. “I’m glad you told me.”

Richie couldn’t help but oblige him with a kiss. “Sorry I’m stupid.”

“Don’t get in the habit of saying that or it’s all you’ll ever say from here on out.” Stan was walking towards them, holding out two Mickey ice cream bars. “You’re welcome for these, by the way. If you try to pay me back by sneaking money into my wallet when you think I’m not paying attention, Richie, I’ll release incriminating screenshots into the group chat.”

“If it’s the conversation where the two of you talk at length about High School Musical, I’ve already seen it,” Eddie said, taking an ice cream bar and tearing open the wrapper.

Stan sighed. “I’ll think of something else, then.”

“If we’re set with ice cream, then we should get moving,” Bill announced, checking his watch. “We don’t have as much time as we think. We should get in line for Star Tours as soon as possible.”

“We’re really gunning for good seats at the fireworks, huh?” Mike asked teasingly, clapping Bill on the shoulder. Bill smiled a little bit, but it was clear that his agreeing nod was serious - and his little glance at Ben after he finished nodding was, too.

God. It was really going to happen tonight.

“Let’s go, then,” Richie said, not wanting to begrudge Ben any last little detail. He unwrapped his ice cream bar and tried to insert as much of it into his mouth as he possibly could. “Strrrr Trrrrr awhrrrh!”

“He means Star Tours away,” Eddie translated, biting one of Mickey’s ears off neatly. “And let’s please not run. My legs are so little.”

“Walking fast?” Bill offered, smiling cheekily.

“Walking at a pace that is comfortable for everyone,” Mike said, moving to demonstrate said pace, and together they fell into an easy step.

The wait time for Star Tours was short - only 10 minutes - and they gathered at the mouth of the line for a quick moment before plunging ahead.

“We’re okay with this being our last ride?” Bev asked, leaning against the metal frame of the attraction with her hands in her pockets. “Ben, you didn’t want it to be Indiana Jones?”

Ben shook his head wistfully. “As great as that ride is, I’m good.”

She met Richie’s eyes, then, and he knew immediately what she was about to ask. “And Richie--”

“Mr. Toad and I are good for now,” Richie assured her with a wink. “No need to revisit that one. Let’s go into space, huh?”

No one agreed out loud, but Bill started moving into the queue and the rest of them were following suit, so Richie allowed himself a moment of feeling like his leadership skills had improved before wandering after them.

“Do you think that if we see the Ewoks again, Luke Skywalker will be with them? He’s their leader, right?” Eddie asked, turning towards Richie with wide eyes.

Richie slid his arm over Eddie’s shoulders in a practiced motion and made to respond, but Stan beat him to it.

“Luke Skywalker can’t be the leader of the Ewoks because his lightsaber is red and theirs are all green, Eddie,” Stan said matter-of-factly. “If you knew anything about Star Wars, you’d know that. Luke Skywalker’s only allowed to lead those guys in planes. Red Luke Leader and all that.”

Richie quickly pulled out his phone to set a reminder to thank Stan somehow for his genius addition to Richie’s newly invented Star Wars lore, and also to ask Stan how much of that he genuinely believed was true.

“Planes?” Eddie wrinkled his nose. “I thought the stereotype was that gays couldn’t drive.”

“I am very proud of the work that I’m doing on Star Wars: Galaxy’s Edge,” Ben interjected loudly, “and I cannot wait to never show any of you what I’m doing, or go to that park with you when it opens, or talk to any of you about Star Wars ever again.”

Richie laughed out loud. “Ben, buddy, you’ve got to settle down. Your emotions are betraying you. Have you ever heard the tragedy of Darth Plagueis the Wise--”

Bill turned around from the front of the queue, forehead cinched up in either stress or amusement. “Wait, no, that can’t be a real thing.”

“That’s the only thing that’s been said this entire time that’s a real thing, actually,” Mike said through gritted teeth.

“Should we watch Star Wars on our next movie night?” Bev asked, smiling thinly. “Would that resolve a few things?”

The responses to that were chaotic and entirely mixed, and Richie reveled in the fact that the anarchy he’d caused lasted all the way up until they got on to the ride.

Their simulator went through the pod-racing section, and then Naboo with the Gungans, which meant that Stan was going to be speaking in incomprehensible memes for days. Richie would have complained loudly and obnoxiously about that, but it was almost time for the fireworks, which meant that it was almost time for Ben’s big moment.

Richie didn’t want to insert himself in the middle of whatever Ben and Bill were planning, but he couldn’t help feeling a little bit nervous about the whole thing….which was weird, because he usually didn’t feel nervous about things that weren’t his.

This thing was different, though. This thing had some gravity to it, and there were a bunch of different ways it could go wrong.

First of all, Bill didn’t have an amazing track record with plans like these. Granted, Ben and Bev weren’t Stan and Mike, but having Bill involved meant that everything was probably going to be a lot riskier than it would be otherwise, and Richie was tired of risk-taking where his friends were involved. They’d agreed on no drama for this trip. This could knock that whole agreement out of whack.

Second, if Ben pulled this off...well, everything would change, wouldn’t it? They’d just finally gotten their shit together well enough to be friends again. Would they be able to survive a change at this point?

Third...well, third was Eddie, and all of the things that he was going to have to start thinking about if Ben was successful.

Third could wait.

But. First and second were legitimate issues, and it was for that reason that Richie found himself slipping away from Eddie and Stan and sidling over to Bill.

“What’s the plan?” he asked, speaking quickly and quietly so as not to be overheard.

Bill raised his eyebrows, but otherwise didn’t seem surprised that Richie was asking. “Just getting as close as we can so that Ben can do his thing when it starts. Nothing elaborate.”

“Nothing risky?” Richie asked, doing his best Stan impression. “No personal pyrotechnics, no Goofy go-go dancers--”

“Just you,” Bill joked, eyes shiny with mischief. “You’re the only risk. Don’t fuck anything up, Richie.”

“Yeah, nah, I won’t,” Richie agreed. “But. It’s gonna be okay, right?”

Bill took a moment to look thoughtful, and Richie almost rolled his eyes. It was a yes or no question, and the correct answer was obvious, but when Bill responded, Richie found himself kind of grateful that Bill hadn’t taken the easy way out.

“You know how Bev thinks our friendship is destiny?” he asked, smiling a secret smile.

“Don’t fucking beat around the bush, Denbrough,” Richie complained, tugging at the hairband around his wrist irritably.

“I have a point,” Bill said, “which is that I agree with her, except that I think that the destiny part is more us destined to want to be around each other, which is different than just being destined to be friends. We have to work on it, but we will, because we want to.”

Richie sighed. “So what you’re saying is that it doesn’t matter what we do because we’re gonna work it out in the end no matter what?”

Bill shrugged. “Sure.”

Richie thought about pressing the issue, but ultimately decided against it. What Bill said had been comforting, in a way, and that was enough.

“Why are you helping with this, anyway?” he asked instead, adjusting his glasses idly. “Aren’t you sick of being around relationships at this point?”

Bill tapped at his phone in his pocket with another secret smile. “Don’t count me out yet, Rich. I’ve got someone to introduce you to when we get back. And so...no. I’m good.” He paused, looking over at Ben and Bev, who were talking excitedly to one another as they pushed through the crowd, looking for an optimal spot. “And they’re going to be so happy.”

“I guess that’s all we can ask for,” Richie said, smiling a little bit as he watched them laugh together.

“What is?” Eddie, Stan, and Mike had caught up to them - or maybe had come back to them, Richie had lost track of them completely for a moment.

“Being happy,” Bill replied, stopping just off to the side of the Disneyland Partners statue. “Is this a good spot?”

“Yes!” everyone chorused in unison. They’d have a perfect view of both the castle and the fireworks from where they were.

Richie turned to Eddie and proffered a hand, and Eddie took it, beaming widely up at him. Seized with a sweet impulse, Richie raised Eddie’s hand to his mouth, and Eddie laughed, rolling his eyes with a quiet sort of affection that made Richie’s heart stutter a little bit. He opened his mouth to speak, but Eddie shushed him before he could start.

“Don’t say a single thing about dreams coming true or whatever tacky Disney shit,” Eddie warned amidst giggles, trying and failing to narrow his eyes.

“No…” Richie started, willing the right words to come out of his mouth, “no, I was thinking, actually…”

Eddie tugged sharply at his arm, huffing out a shaky breath. “Is THIS a proposal?”

“No.” Richie turned his head to make solid eye contact with Eddie. “No, we’ve still...not yet, sweetheart, we’ve still got some shit to work out before that goes down, I think. But I was wondering...I was wondering if you were happy. That’s all.”

The music around them swelled, and the first firework lit from over Sleeping Beauty’s castle. Eddie gasped, eyes alight, and out of the corner of his eye, Richie saw Ben go down on one knee.

Richie knew Bev had said yes by the whoops and cheers that exploded around him, but he couldn’t take his eyes off of Eddie’s face.

“Eddie,” Richie said again, willing Eddie to smile.

Eddie’s responding grin was absolutely enormous.

“I’m happy, Richie,” he replied, “I am so fucking happy.”

When Richie closed his eyes, he could see reflections in front of his eyelids - of Ben kneeling down, of the fireworks going off over the castle, of Eddie’s blinding, beautiful smile.

He opened his eyes again.

“Me too, Eds,” he said, taking Eddie’s hand and soaking in the moment. “Me too.”

[vanessakirbyfans]

When I went to see Vanessa Kirby starring in Julie at the National Theatre, it turns out I picked “a really bad night. Oh God everything went wrong,” she says when we meet a few days later, in a café in Chelsea where she has just ordered scrambled eggs. In one climactic moment she has to kill a budgie on stage, but the blood capsule didn’t burst until well after she whizzed the fake bird up in the food processor. “That happened two nights in a row! But it was better than before, when we used to start the scene with a real budgie and then kill a fake one, because one night the real one started tweeting after the lights went down, when he was supposed to be dead. I was trying to shut him up. He was called Gordon. We had to get rid of Gordon. There have been letters to the theatre: ‘We need to know that Gordon has not been harmed.’”

Kirby is a 30-year-old actor from London, a galloping laugh a minute, and quite probably the future of British acting. You may know her as Princess Margaret from Netflix’s The Crown, a role she describes happily as “the gift that I was given”, and which turned what could have been a staid drama about duty and class into something much more delicious. She gave Margaret a youthful vulnerability – we saw the damns she had to give before she stopped giving any – and now, after two series and winning a Bafta, she is handing the role over to Helena Bonham Carter, who will play the older incarnation. And Kirby is gutted.

“The Crown was the best time of my life,” she says, in her quick voice. “Saying goodbye to it was awful, I really grieved it, actually.” Kirby kept a photo of Margaret on her bedroom wall and used to gaze at it, wondering What Would Margaret Do? “The easy route would have been for me to just play her as the version of her who comes later, the public persona of her that is so – I don’t know the right word – gauche?”

They could have sent you to Mustique!

“I know! Livid! But I wanted to try and find the person she was before she hardened, before she became bitter and self-loathing, which is what I sensed. I wanted to find the torment that’s underneath those things. That, for me, made a real woman, even though the circumstances were ridiculous.”

She played opposite Claire Foy as the Queen. Both of them have just been nominated for this year’s Emmy awards for The Crown. I ask what it’s like to be on the receiving end of the enigmatic, brooding looks that Foy’s Elizabeth so regularly deploys.

“Oh, she used to give me the look in our scenes together and I’d just be feeling, aaaargh – you’re so internal! You’re so good! You’re so subtle and I have to try so hard to rein it in! But Claire was much better about the show ending than I was. She said it was because I had such a personal synergy with Margaret, whereas the Queen remained a mystery to her.”

It transpires the real Queen is a fan, though. Kirby only knows this because a friend of hers was at a fancy party recently, “where he didn’t know a soul so when he heard some people discussing The Crown he was like: ‘Actually I know someone in that.’ They were like: ‘Cool.’ He goes: ‘No, but I really know someone in it,’ and, meanwhile, this girl says: ‘Well my granny likes it,’ and he suddenly realises her granny is the Queen. It was Princess Beatrice. Although, I told someone else recently it was Eugenie,” she laughs, “but I got that wrong.”

Kirby grew up in Wimbledon, south London, the middle child of three, and attended the private Lady Eleanor Holles School. Her mother, Jane, had been the editor of Country Living and her father, Roger, one of the country’s leading prostate surgeons, “always watched loads of films with me – totally inappropriate ones like Midnight Express when I was about six. He put all films on. I think my sister was five when he took us to the cinema to see A Perfect Murder.” They were also taken to a lot of plays, “and I got really bored until I was about 11 and then suddenly it clicked for me, like: oh, when theatre’s really good it can be transformative. More than anything, it made me understand people.”

At school, “It was always the drama side of things where I felt the most alive,” she says. “The most myself. I was quite badly bullied for a few years and I became self-conscious about everything I did in relation to the bullies. But drama was the place where I didn’t.”

Was it other girls?

“Yeah it was… systematic. Quite awful. A teacher said to my mum on my very last day of school: ‘She survived it. She’s done it,’ which means they knew it was happening.”

Strangely, Kirby doesn’t sound remotely bitter about it and mutters a half-finished thought about it perhaps being a useful experience now. She describes her childhood as very happy and she knows how socially and financially privileged she was, but she also suffered from giardia, an intestinal parasite, which went undiagnosed for a long time and made her feel permanently nauseous, as if she was about to vomit. “All these nightmare injections, pills up the bum, all of it. Prodded around from age nine to 11.”

At school there was a noticeboard with a picture of Ben Whishaw as Hamlet at the Old Vic on it. Kirby stole it for her bedroom wall, went to see the play three times and became obsessed with him, which was not helped by bumping into him on a London bus. She was in amateur local productions at the time, but after studying for an English degree at Exeter and then giving up a place at Lamda to go straight into work as an actor some years later, her first big chance was on The Hour – starring… Ben Whishaw.

The director was tough on her, which may have been because: “I wasn’t paying any attention to the scene. In my head it was just alarm bells going: ‘Oh my God that’s Ben Whishaw.’” Afterwards she had to tell him everything. “And it felt good to finally confess my infatuation. Of course, he was with his boyfriend.”

Hollywood came calling and she’s had to become better at dealing with famous men since being cast in the sixth instalment of the Mission: Impossible films, out this month and starring Tom Cruise. I ask what he was like. “Such a pro. Absolutely disciplined; super enthusiastic. Always wants everything executed at a super-high level, so you have to train really hard.”

With him?

“Oh God no, without him.” She laughs, groaning. “I think that would be… I did say to him at one point: ‘I am never getting on a running machine with you.’ But I learned a lot about work ethic from him. I never thought that stunts and action would be my genre, but I’m understanding now that you can transcend genre, as long as you try and find the real woman behind the part.”

It struck me, watching Julie – which is Polly Stenham’s rewrite of the Strindberg play Miss Julie, and set at 3am at a druggy party in a wealthy house in Hampstead – that Kirby could have played the heroine in a much sexier fashion. Instead, she chooses to drag her body around with her as if it brings her discomfort. The reviews have been kind to her, but not to the script or production, which tend to say it all lacks chemistry. Kirby diplomatically says the problem is: “It’s such a huge space, it’s not an intimate theatre and sometimes the space dictates the parameters.” I’m not convinced she’s enjoying it all that much.

Still, the current feminist awakening of Hollywood has had a real impact on Kirby, who has risen to fame at the perfect moment to seize it. She is working on her own ideas, too. The week after we meet she will fly off to work on an unnamed film project she’s developed with Adam Leon. “He’s the best New York film director, I think.” It’s inspired by an article in the New Yorker about a woman who entered a fugue state and went missing in the big city. They have cast a group of renegade, gender-fluid young Brooklynites to play her new friends, and Kirby scrolls through her phone to show me photos of these genderless kids she finds so mesmerisingly beautiful. She is also developing a film of her own with Ben Caron, who directed her in episodes of The Crown, and making “something about babies who are born addicted to drugs and how society treats those mothers”.

Partly this seems like an attempt to get away from the wealthy-woman-in-gilded-prison roles. “I feel like now, more than ever, it’s all of our responsibility to have other things represented on screen. There have been somany male stories on screen, or stories of women written by men, so she’s the wife of someone, the girlfriend of someone… It’s only now I realise that looking back, all the scripts I’ve read over time, unless they’re really small indie films, the women have always been fantasy figures, always viewed through the male lens, almost cartoony.”

Her boyfriend, Callum Turner, is also an actor, and recently they were on a plane together, both with a pile of about 10 scripts to read through. “In every single one he was the central protagonist and the women were helping the leads. Out of mine, about two of my parts were the leads – and then you knew that someone like Jennifer Lawrence would be doing it. So we women have got to be the generators of the material and, in order to do that, we have to understand the system we’re in, which I’m really trying to do.”

Kirby has a friend called Sarah, “who says it just pisses her off, all these Hollywood actresses getting on the red carpet and sounding off about #MeToo, etc. She says, what are they actually doing? I say I know, but these are the women who will be on the front pages of newspapers, for better or worse, and then it leads to real change in other industries, too. Media is the controller of everything.”

Another close friend is the writer Dolly Alderton. They even share the same therapist, which made Kirby very amused to read all about said therapist in Alderton’s recent bestselling memoir, Everything I Know About Love. Yet another friend is Anna, with whom Kirby and her sister share a flat in Tooting. “So we’re like three sisters. No idea why we live in Tooting, though. I think it was cheapest.” Their home has calmed down a lot since Kirby became so busy. “It used to be mad parties non-stop and the vibrations going through to the little old lady who lives next door – her house was constantly shaking at 4am.” I can’t imagine Kirby upsetting old ladies – she seems too sweet. Did the woman complain? “Sometimes, yes,” Kirby admits, with a shamefaced twinkle in her eye.

Still, she seems entirely unafraid to call the shots on the big guys now. “My only little area of change is to be in a big movie and say no, I’m not wearing a short skirt, I’m not showing any skin, I don’t want slapped-on make-up,” she says.

And if the action film wanted to give you robo-tits? “I would say absolutely not. I don’t care any more. I feel more able to say that now. I’m in a slightly luckier position, but also the times now support it. I don’t want an arse shot – well, not that they’d want one of my arse. But I don’t want to be shot through a lens of sexualisation. That’s not me. That’s the distorted feminine and the distorted masculine that is creating so much of the toxic energy in our society.”

It is unusual to hear an actor ask quite so many questions in an interview. As she says, she is fortunate to have risen to fame in a time that allows it, with other women having begun to push the boundaries. But Kirby is questioning everything. Still, you can only fight off so much of the culture. We say goodbye and she picks up her bag of M&S shopping and heads home to watch Love Island, during which, she says happily, she will “feel my brain turning into disgusting nothing”.

[thegreatwhiteferret]

I Knew You Were Waiting For Me

Summary: A very inexperienced Trashmouth losing his v-card to a far more experienced Eddie Spaghetti. 

A/N: For my lovely anon who requested this scenario. I hope this story does your idea justice. 💖

NSFW Under the cut...

Richie Tozier has a big mouth and a wild imagination. He’s been bragging about his sexual conquests to the other Losers since middle school. Underneath all the bravado lies the truth; Richie is seventeen and he’s a virgin. For the longest time he held out hope that he wasn’t the only one, but his hopes were dashed one by one.

Mike was first. Big, strapping, and handsome. He was amazing at football and even with the racial tension in Derry, he made all of the girls’ panties drop. When he made varsity as a freshman, the head cheerleader, Heather Sinclair, took it upon herself to welcome him to the team...and his sexual awakening. Mike had told them all about it, flush faced and jittery, and Richie had chirped him saying that it was about damn time he join the club. A string of girls followed after Heather, but Mike was still his genuine heart of gold self. Richie secretly wondered if he thanked the girls for spreading their legs for him as he walked them home.

Ben and Beverly were next. They were a bit more cliche than anyone had expected. Roses and a hotel room on Valentine’s Day, their sophomore year, but Bev secretly loved it. She had gushed to Richie about it during one of their smoke breaks, and Richie had pretended to gag. Ben was too much of a gentleman to share details, but the whole club knew that after their first time they were fucking like rabbits.

Stanley Uris went next, and took Big Bill with him. They had been flirting around the idea of being more than friends since Bill had broken up with Bev when they were freshman, but Bill was always too shy and nervous to act on it. He didn’t want to ruin his friendship with Stan. The other boy found this sweet, but was incredibly sick of it and pounced on Bill on the July 4th between sophomore and junior year. During the fireworks display he just leaned over and grabbed Bill, pressing his lips to his. They made out under the light display, but Stan needed more. He all but dragged Bill back to his house. Richie would find out later that Stan had given Bill a mind melting blow job before prepping his own asshole and riding Bill until they both came, making their own fireworks. Stan was more comfortable expressing himself out of that, wearing his pants a little tighter in the ass, and Bill was certainly more vocal about what he thought about his sexy ass boyfriend. Richie thought it was hilarious that they could be so buttoned up and reserved in their everyday lives, but complete freaks in the sheets. He got beep beeped when he voiced this to the group.

His last strand of hope and dignity died when Eddie went with his mom to visit his family out in Montana when they were sixteen. His cousin was having surgery and they needed an able bodied boy to help with the farm...Eddie was apparently the only one available. Eddie came back ripped and tan from all the manual labor, and with a damn good story about his first time. There had been a young ranch hand there, Jorge, with rippling muscles and a beard and he had taught Eddie all of his damn tricks. Eddie blabbered on about having his first blowjob while the sun was setting over the mountains, getting fingered while he knelt on rocks down by the quarry, and getting his pink hole licked open by a devilishly good tongue while his mom was in the next room. Finally, he told the story about how Jorge had fucked him so good in the barn that he cried. Richie blushed throughout these stories, trying to cover it up with sarcastic comments, but Richie was terrified. In his mind he had always thought that he and Eddie would end up together, that they would be each other’s first.

Richie was scared to death now, scared to approach Eddie. What could he possibly have that would compare to that Jorge asshole. He was just an inexperienced virgin who had never even really had a first kiss. He stopped making his usual jokes after a while, he had lost his spark and had no idea how to get it back.

It was two weeks before Halloween during his senior year. Richie was sitting in the library trying to study while his ADHD was working overtime. He had to focus on the calculus algorithms that his teacher had assigned in preparation for their big test, but he couldn’t. Eddie was sitting across from him, pink lips pouted as he read through his chapter on Reconstruction after the Civil War. The other Losers had bailed on the study session for a variety of reasons, but Richie hadn’t really pressed it. He and Eddie had hung out loads of times on their own. He was working through a particularly hard question when he noticed that Eddie was fidgeting a bit.

“Eds, my brain already has a hard time working right, please stop shaking.” Richie said, genuinely concerned about the task in front of him. Eddie apologized, but a few minutes later was back to his shaking. “Jesus, Eddie. What is going on in that brain of yours that you can’t sit still?” Eddie blushed.

“Hey, Rich?” Eddie started, nerves present in his voice. Richie dropped his pencil and gave Eddie his full attention.

“Yeah, Eds?” Richie could feel his stomach twisting, he didn’t like that Eddie was nervous to say something to him. They never had that problem. They were probably too honest by most standards.

“What...uh...what was your first time like? I know you’ve talked about a lot of different guys and girls, but I don’t know if I’ve ever heard the story of your first?” Richie went pale. He knew that he talked a big game, but he honestly figured that they all knew that he was lying. That it was all an act. He never would have expected that Eddie, his best friend, would believe his bullshit. He could continue the act, or he could just be honest with him. Cut the bullshit ask and just tell Eddie that he had made it all up because he was so shy about all of that stuff, and hadn’t done anything sexually.

“Honestly?” Richie asked, and Eddie nodded and looked at him expectantly. “I’ll...uh...I’ll have to get back to you on that one, Eds. I’m a virgin.”

“Jesus. I don’t know why I was expecting a honest answer from you. God dammit. I just wanted to know the truth…” Eddie sighed, he was disappointed.

“No. Eds. I am telling you the truth. I’ve never done anything with anyone. Shit...I...I’ve never even really kissed anyone before.” Richie rubbed his temples, he could feel tears welling up in his eyes. Honesty hurt like a bitch.

“Oh.” Eddie squeaked out. Richie looked up to meet his eyes. “Richie. I’m sorry that I brought it up. I was just talking to the other Losers earlier and they mentioned that I should ask you. I...I didn’t know…”

“Nah. It’s okay. I just, it kind of scares me I guess. I’ve been talking it up for so long, and listening to you guys tell your stories and I’m just...I’m just worried that I’m going to be really bad at it.” Richie breathed out. Eddie frowned and moved around the table to sit next to his best friend.

“When you find someone who is worth your time, worth the brilliance that is Richie Tozier, you’ll be just fine. You’ll be better than fine, you’ll be amazing.” Eddie tried to reassure him.

“Ha. Sure.” Richie said, but there was no humor there. Instead a thought started to blossom in his mind. “Hey, Eds? Would you maybe...would you be my first?” Eddie’s face turned red, he had wanted Richie for a long time. Had thought that he wouldn’t be experienced enough for him, that’s why he had let himself fall for Jorge. Why he had the subsequently given into pleasure and let himself become someone new and adventurous. He wanted to ready for Richie, and be good for him.

“Are you sure you want me to be that person?” Eddie asked, sort of ready for Richie to laugh in his face and tell him this was all a joke.

“Of course, Eddie.” Richie said, before a mischievous glint entered his eyes, “Besides it’s apparently much better with a friend.” Eddie punched him in the shoulder, but giggled nonetheless. He couldn’t deny that he loved Trashmouth and his humor.

It was no secret that Eddie’s mom was way too overprotective. She had not gotten better even after Eddie called her out on her gazebo bullshit. There’s no way that she was going to let Richie into her house for even an afternoon study session, let alone to spend the night. If Eddie played super sweet for a full week, she might agree to let him sleepover at Ben’s house. She like Ben’s doting mother after all. So Eddie primed his mother all week, did extra chores, acted like a sweet little mama’s boy, and then asked on Friday afternoon if it was okay for him to stay at the Hanscom house on Saturday night. She agreed only after Eddie told her that he was going to be working on an important project for his English Lit class.

Eddie of course had no plans to go over to Ben’s house. He had simply told Ben that he needed someone to cover for him, and Ben had agreed to be his lookout. He would intercept any calls if his mom decided that she needed to check on him. Eddie would be miles away, with Richie. He had the whole thing planned out. Mike was letting him borrow the farm’s truck, Beverly had gotten a whole bunch of fairy lights from her aunt’s flower shop, Bill and Stan had helped him find a whole bunch of pillows and blankets. All the Losers were in on it, well everyone except for Richie who was just told to show up to the orchard at the edge of the Hanlon farm on Saturday night at seven o’clock.

Eddie looked at his handy work, well his, Ben, and Mike’s. Okay, mainly Mike’s. Ben and Eddie weren’t much of a help with the manual labor part of their plan. Mike had parked the truck between the rows of apple trees, he had then strung the fairy lights in the trees and hooked them up to a portable generator that they used on the farm. Eddie had set up the blankets and pillows in the bed of the truck. As it got darker, they turned the lights on and all three marvelled at the sight. It was beautiful. Everything was going to be perfect for Richie.

Bill and Stan had done their part by keeping Richie too busy all day for his nerves to build and cause him to self sabotage. Richie didn’t know that the rest of the club knew about his plans with Eddie, just figured that Bill and Stan were trying to get him to do their dirty work. It wasn’t unusual. Bev had shown up around five, Richie had asked if she would be able to drop him at the Hanlon farm. She had agreed, telling him that she needed to pick Ben up from Mike’s anyway.

Richie walked along the Hanlon property line and into the orchard, he stopped in his tracks when he saw what Eddie had done for him. The lights twinkling in the trees, illuminating the bed of the farm truck, that was filled with pillows and cozy looking blankets. There was soft music flowing from the radio inside of the truck, and there was Eddie, beautiful as ever, waiting for him, standing right in front of him. Richie had tears in his eyes, no one had ever done something like this before, done something to make him feel special.

“Eds, oh my God.” Richie breathed out, pulling the smaller boy into his arms. “This is amazing. I can’t believe you did all of this.”

“Of course, Rich. Anything for you. I wanted to make this special.” Eddie stood on his tiptoes and pressed a kiss to Richie’s lips, sweet and simple. It was his first real kiss after all. Eddie needed it to be special for him. It may have started sweet but it quickly began escalating. Eddie broke the kiss, pulling Richie over to the bed of the truck and climbing in, helping him to do the same.

Eddie pushed Richie so that he was lying on his back and straddled his hips. He kissed him again, grinding his hips down into Richie’s slightly, pulling moans out of the other boy. Eddie sat up and peeled his shirt over his head, helping Richie to do the same. Their skin prickled a bit in the autumn air, but Richie knew that Eddie was about to warm him up.

Eddie kissed down Richie’s neck, sucking a mark next to the hollow of his throat. He kept his kissing voyage going down Richie’s chest and stopped at the waistband of Richie’s Jeans. He unbuttoned the jeans and snaked his hand in, palming Richie’s growing erection. Richie threw his head back in pleasure, he wanted so much more.

“Lift your hips, baby.” Eddie whispered, Richie complied and Eddie pulled his jeans off with ease. He was left lying in front of Eddie in just his boxer briefs. “Mmmm, Richie, you look so good like this, strung out, are you gonna beg me, baby? Beg me to fuck you?” Richie whined, desperate for Eddie to touch him. “Or are you going to beg to fuck me. I’d be good with that too, anything you want.” Richie bucked up into Eddie’s touch at that thought.

They shared another deep kiss, before Eddie was dropping his head to Richie’s crotch, pulling down the waistband of the boy’s underwear and letting his cock spring free. His cock was twitching under the attention of Eddie’s gaze. Eddie used his thumb to rub the slit, collecting drops of precum and sliding his hand down the shaft. He jerked lazily a few times, before moving his head down and licking just the slit, Richie groaned. Pleasure coursing through his body. Eddie took the head in, tongue working at his frenulum, then sunk his head down most of the way, using his hand to work what he couldn’t fit in his mouth. He slid his mouth up and down his cock, varying his speed as he watched Richie fall apart from just his mouth. Richie was getting close, Eddie could tell by the sounds that he was making, he pulled off and jerked him a few more times, edging him off of his orgasm slightly. Richie whined.

“Baby, are you going to finger me open or do you want to watch me do it myself?” Eddie asked, pulling a bottle of lubricant and a condom from underneath one of the pillows.

“C-can I w-watch you?” Richie asked, mind hazy with all of the feelings. He never imagined his first time being like this. Eddie nodded and stood up in the bed of the truck, pulling his pants and briefs down in one motion. He got on his knees, straddling Richie’s legs, ass towards Richie. He used one hand to brace himself, sticking his ass out further so that Richie would get a real show. He coated three fingers in lube and slid them down the crack of his own ass. He circled his hole with one finger, teasing, before he pushed his finger in. He moaned at the feeling, keeping still for a moment before wiggling it around and then began thrusting in and out. He made sure to moan and make little noises, so that Richie would know that he was enjoying stretching himself open so that Richie could slide in. Richie reached forward and held his ass cheeks apart, watching as Eddie’s fingers abused his own hole. He added another finger, twisting his wrist, loving the slight burn that came with the stretch. Soon enough he was able to pump three fingers in with little resistance. He turned around to face Richie who leaned up and met him for a kiss. “You’re so fucking perfect, Eddie Spaghetti.”

“Asshole! Don’t call me that when I’m about to let you stick your dick in me. Where are your manners?” Richie gave him a smirk and shrugged, but the smirk was wiped off of his face as Eddie tore the condom wrapper open and slid the latex down his shaft. Eddie poured a liberal amount of lube on Richie’s dick before shimming up his body on his knees and lining up the head of his cock with his hole. “Are you ready, baby?”

Richie nodded and Eddie lowered himself, slowly taking Richie in, inch by inch. He squeezed his eyes shut, focusing his breathing as he got used to the size. Richie stroked Eddie’s hip, his mouth falling open at the feeling of Eddie’s tight heat around him.

Eddie wiggled around gingerly, becoming more comfortable. He raised himself slightly before sinking down again. Richie cried out in pleasure, and Eddie was moaning. He kept grinding his hips, lifting them and slamming back down with more and more intensity. Both boys were withering messes. Richie knew that he wasn’t going to last very long, but he wanted to make it good for Eddie too. He wrapped his hand around Eddie’s dick, stroking experimentally. The smaller boy’s eyes nearly rolled back in his head. He slid up and down a few more times, Richie could feel the heat pooling already and couldn’t help himself, he tumbled over the edge and came with a shout.

Eddie pulled Richie’s hand off his cock and pumped furiously for another minute, cumming all over Richie’s chest. He moved off of Richie, before sliding the condom off and tying it, dropping in in a plastic bag. He used one of the blankets to wipe them off, and then tossed it to the side. Richie was waiting to pull him into his arms and pull blankets over them. Eddie smiled, resting his head against his chest.

“So, how was it, Richie?” Eddie asked snuggling in a bit more, the chilly temperature starting to get to him after being exposed to it for so long.

“Jesus fuck, Ed. So much better than I could have ever expected.” Richie rambled. “I love you. God I fucking love you. I want to do that with you so many more times. All the time. Jesus, I finally understand why the others are always sneaking off....” Eddie cuts him off by pressing a kiss to his lips.

“I love you too, Trashmouth. If I knew you were waiting for me, I would have waited a little longer too, just to have you as my first.” How about we get some sleep and see about a round two?” Richie’s eyes grew in size and he nodded eagerly. Eddie laughs a little, and they settle in. Counting stars until they fall asleep.

[dazingsky]

video messages (Reddie)

Helloooo! This is relatively short, (Im sorry!!) I’m on holiday though!! It’s a beach holiday so i’m not really doing anything, so i’m writing basically constantly!! So leave me requests for like any ships from IT!! I’m doing Hc’s, Fics, and one shots, so request anything here

Summary: Request: (Sorry if you aren't doing these!) but imagine Richie being a Super Softie (tm) around Eddie. BUT Eddie secretly takes videos of Soft Richie and sends them to the losers because they don't believe it when Eddie says Richie isn't always a Trashmouth (tm)

Wordcount: 1,549

“You look so cute today Eds.” Richie smiled, ruffling his boyfriends hair. Eddie rolled his eyes, a blush forming on his cheeks, as it often did when Richie was like this.

Richie acted like a comedian around all of his friends. He was cocky, and inappropriate, and could only be serious if you begged him. He was loud, and his friends all called him Trashmouth, because of his loud personality.

But around his boyfriend he was completely different. He was much ore quiet, and he didn’t crack any outrageous jokes. He was much nicer around Eddie. It was probably because Eddie didn’t take Richie’s shit. When Richie was with the losers, he would happily ride his bike around, and spend hours running around, and messing about. But with Eddie, Richie just wanted to sit on his couch, and hold Eddie in his arms, and play with his hair.

Eddie instinctively rose his hand, going to fix his hair. Richie grabbed his hand, lacing their fingers together, absentmindedly. His attention was focused back on the cartoons that were playing on Richie’s TV in Richie’s living room. They were watching old Mickey Mouse cartoons, because Richie didn’t want to get up and put a movie on. Eddie bit his lip, watching as Richie squeezed his hand, gently.

“Don’t call me Eds.” Eddie stated, shaking his head. Richie rolled his eyes, and scoffed in Eddie’s ear. His breath tickled Eddie’s neck, which made Eddie blush. Again.

“Would you rather I called you Eddie Spaghetti?” Richie asked, smirking, though Eddie couldn’t see him. Eddie was lying in between Richie’s legs, his head resting on Richie’s chest. Richie was sat with his back against the couch. Richie had his head bent slightly, so he could annoy Eddie, by whispering to him, about nicknames.

“No..” Eddie mumbled, shaking his head. Richie’s lips made their way to Eddie’s cheek, where he left a soft kiss. Eddie sighed loudly, turning to look at Richie properly. “Why are you like this?”

“Like what?” Richie asked, a laugh tumbling out of his mouth, and blocking the sound of the cartoons.

“Like all cute and shit!” Eddie practically shrieked. Richie’s laugh grew louder, as he titled his head back. Eddie shook his head, rolling his eyes, quickly. “It’s annoying. Very annoying.”

“Oh, I’m sorry, let me be a bad boyfriend.” Richie teased. Eddie glared at him. Richie burst into laughter again, shaking his head. “That’s the stupidest thing you’ve ever said, Eddie Spaghetti.”

“Shut up!” Eddie snapped, pointing a finger at Richie. “It’s annoying me!” Richie rose an eyebrow, and Eddie huffed.”None of the others believe me when I say that you’re cute. They all tell me I’m being ridiculous. That Richie Trashmouth Tozier can’t be sweet!” Richie laughed, in a teasing tone.

“They’ll never see me being sweet! That’s reserved for my Eddie Bear.” Richie continued, wrapping his around Eddie, and hugging him tightly. Eddie was blushing again, and also attempting to swat Richie’s hands away. Eddie gave up, after Richie kissed his head, making Eddie’s head spin. Everything Richie did had a dramatic effect on Eddie. He had only found out last summer that he liked Richie.

They had been at Bill’s, for the fourth of July. They had been listening to whatever playlist Ben had put on. It was mostly hits from the 80’s, with occasional 90’s, and early 2000’s pop ballads. A slow song had come on, and everyone had teased Ben over it. Eddie couldn’t even remember what song it was, he just remembered Richie pulling him up, when Mike pulled Stan and Bill up, to dance. They were doing a slow sway, pretending to hula dance, in Ben’s back garden. Richie had pulled Eddie close, and swayed with him.

“Why are we slow dancing, this isn’t even a sow dancing song.” Eddie had asked quietly. Richie had shrugged, smiling slightly. He interlocked his fingers with Eddie’s, His hand was already resting on Eddie’s hip. Eddie had his hand placed on Richie’s shoulder, and was grateful that Richie had a strong grip on Eddie’s other hand, because otherwise Eddie would have fallen over. He was suddenly horrifically self-conscious. He had no idea why.

“I wanna slow dance, and you’re dainty enough to dance with, Eds.” Richie still had the small smile, gracing his lips. Eddie felt his heart almost burst. Fuck, he looks so cute, Eddie thought. And then he panicked. He couldn’t have a crush on Richie. Richie would hate him. And he couldn’t throw away his friendship with Richie over a thought, though. So he kept his mouth shut.

Although that one thought turned into hundreds. And two months later Richie was the only thing on his mind. He was constantly thinking about him. About what he was doing, About what he was thinking about. Everything. It all overwhelmed him, so much so that one day he didn’t show up to a meet up, with the rest of the group. Richie was worried, went over to Eddie’s house, and climbed through his window.

“What are you doing here?” Eddie had whispered harshly, as he shut his bedroom door. “If my mom see’s you, she’’ flip her shit!” He was panicked. His mother would actually kill him. She hated Richie with a burning passion.

“You missed the meet up! We were all waiting for you!” Richie shrugged. His voice was soft, and his eyes were filled with concern, behind his large glasses. “I got worried.”

“Worried?” Eddie repeated, his eyes going slightly wide. Richie nodded slowly,  Eddie felt his heart race, as it set in that Richie had been worried about him. Eddie bit his lip, looking down slightly. “You shouldn’t worry.” He muttered after a second.

“Why didn’t you come today, then?” It was a simple question, but Eddie couldn’t answer it. His mind raced with excuses, but none came out. “Are you sick?”

“Lovesick.” Eddie muttered, running a hand through his hair. He realised it slipped out, and looked up quickly. Richie stared at him for a second.

“Do you like Bev?” He asked quickly. His eyebrows were raised in alarm, and his voice was shrill. He sounded panicked. Eddie looked at him, confusion written all over his face. “You totally like Bev! Fuck!”

“I don’t like Bev! Jesus, keep your fucking voice down!” Eddie snapped. Richie bit his lip, still staring at Eddie. “Why are you so shrieky today?!”

“Because when the boy I like says he’s lovesick, it worries me!” Richie snapped back. His face quickly turned to shock, as he realised what he said, but he didn’t have time to overthink it, because Eddie was kissing him, and Eddie’s body seemed to go into shock.

It always happened. Every damn time. He site quietly, standing up from the couch, and stretching. “You gotta stop with the nicknames.”

“But they’re great!” Richie protested, shrugging as he lay down on the couch, stretching slightly, after watching Eddie do it. He bit his lip, staring at Eddie, who rolled his eyes again.

Eddie grabbed his phone from his bag, which was sat on the floor. Richie was watching him, smiling slightly. “Staring is creepy, Richie.” Eddie stated, looking back at Richie. He looked back at his phone, reading the texts from the losers.

Stan the man:

I can’t believe you bailed on us, Eddie

Stuttering Bill:

And to hang out with Richie, ew

Eddie Spaghetti:

He’s being insanely cute today, sorryyyy

Stan the man:

Impossible, he’s Richie.

The text made Eddie roll his eyes. A lightbulb went off in his head, though, as he turned back to Richie, completely. Richie was still watching Eddie. Richie flashed Eddie a grin, and Eddie smiled.

Eddie walked back over to his boyfriend, and sat down on his lap. Richie rose an eyebrow, putting his hands on his boyfriends hips. Richie’s hands slipped under Eddie’s t-shirt, his fingers drawing small patterns on Eddie’s hips. Eddie couldn’t help but smile.

Eddie was already on the camera app, pressing record, Richie didn’t notice. He was still staring at Eddie, smiling. Eddie pretended to be preoccupied, fake typing on his phone. Richie’s grin turned into a pout, which Eddie pretended not to notice.

“What are you doing, Eds?” Richie questioned, quietly.

“Texting Stan.” Eddie muttered quietly, pretending to type again.

“You should pay attention to me instead, baby boy!” Richie’s voice was soft, the smile making a short reappearance. Richie grabbed one of Eddie’s hands, lacing their fingers together, which he loved to do. Richie pulled Eddie’s hand towards him, and kissed it. Richie grinned again, he kissed Eddie’s hand again, and again. He smiled at Eddie each time.

Eddie stopped recording, and sent it to his groupchat, quickly. He leaned down, and played a soft kiss on his boyfriends lips. Richie kissed back, smiling into the kiss. Richie’s hands held Eddie’s face in place, as he moved his mouth against the other boys.

Eddie’s phone buzzed in his hand, but he ignored it, as he deepened his kiss with Richie. If he had of checked he would have seen the texts his friends were sending

Stan the man:

That was disgusting, never send me gay shit like that again.

Stuttering Bill:

Stan, babe, we’re guys dating..

Stan the man:

Bill, shut up.

[benbarnesfanforever]

Pen Pals

At the request of @moviegirl50, here is a fluffy story about the reader and Ben as pen pals.  Although Ben has lived in LA for some time now, he is living in London in this story. 

You seal your letter after the last lick.  You had a bit of hesitation as you held the envelope in front of the large blue mail bin. This letter was much different than the mail that you usually sent to Ben’s fan club.  Every month or so, you sent a letter to Ben’s fan club requesting a photo of your favorite character, which was all of them to be truthful. You had autographed photos of Prince Caspian, King Caspian, Dorian Gray, Tom Ward, Nick Tortano, John Whittaker and Alejandro just to name a few.  However, you never thought in million years that you would receive something extra special in return, a letter that would change your life forever.          January 10, 2014

 c/o Creative Artists Management 1st Floor 55-59 Shaftesbury Avenue London, W1D 6LD United Kingdom

  Dear Ben,

Thank you for responding to my snail mail and for sending me so many autographed photos over the years.  I have been a loyal fan of yours for some time now, six years to be exact!  I'm sure you probably receive thousands of letters per day, but I hope you read this letter.  Even if I never hear back from you, I want to let you know what an influential person that you have been in my life.  

You support a number of charities and I wanted to tell you a little bit about mine, Women Equality Goals (WEG).  I coach young girls around the country in the United States regarding abuse, discrimination and gender equality.  I'd like to expand my coaching abroad, however, I don't have the funds nor the sponsors to support that goal.  I've never asked anyone to sponsor me before, but with your knowledge and support, I believe that we would change the lives of so many and influence gender equality worldwide.  As a personal victim of sexual assault, I owe it to women and girls around the world to make a change.  I'm a small person with very big dreams!  I hope you can spread the word of my dream to make a change.  

Thank you for your love and support.

Love,

(Y/N)

After proofreading your letter over 500 times, and having your best friend look over it 500 more times, you finally gained enough courage to drop the letter in the mail.

“Oh for crying out loud, (Y/N), just drop the goddamn letter in the mail bin.” Your best friend growls who was standing behind you near the large blue mail bin outside of the San Francisco post office.  

“Do you think I have enough stamps?” You ask in concern.

“Yes, for the fiftieth time! YES!” Joanne snarled.

You smirk.

“Ok, Joanne.  Just give me a minute.”  

“I’ve given you sixty! No drop the goddamn letter so we can get the hell outta here and have dinner already.”

Your hands tremble as you release the letter into the mail bin.  You watch the letter drop down to what looked like an endless water well.  The letter was long gone and will be on its way to London tomorrow morning.  

OH SHIT

“Well, I put myself out there.  Let’s see if he responds.” You say to yourself.

You go to your mailbox after you return home from work. After months of frantically driving home from work and running straight to the mailbox to see if you received anything back from Ben and constantly being disappointed, you finally came to the conclusion that you probably would never hear from him.  Besides, how many celebrities really read their fan mail? Don’t they hire folks to read and sort through their mail for them anyway?  You had given up all hopes that Ben read your letter and would sponsor your charity for you to coach women and girls abroad.

Until one special day….

You had a stash of mail awaiting you because you had no time to check it recently due to your crazy work schedule and the time you invested into your charity.  Coaching your girls was the only thing that you looked forward to, especially after a long day at the office of just processing the same old boring insurance claims.  You set the mail atop of your black kitchen counter-top as you filled the stainless steel tea kettle with water.  It was already after 8 pm, and by now, you hadn’t eaten dinner but didn’t really care about having a meal.  All you wanted to do was have a nice sip of Tulsi tea and relax watching your favorite tv shows.  A chocolate croissant sounded delightful with your tea, so that is what you took out of the pantry.  You place the croissant in the toaster and look through your stack of mail while you wait for the water of your tea to boil and for the croissant to toast.  Your hands began to tremble as you got to the third piece of mail, which was a standard letter addressed from the UK, not large in size or bubble wrapped like the other fan mail you’ve received from Creative Artist Management.  This time, the letter had a hand written return address with a name you were stunned to see.

Ben Barnes

Your hands shake more as you try to find your mail opener. You look all through your kitchen drawers and could not locate the damn thing for the life of you.  You rip the mail open, without removing any of Ben’s handwriting on the envelope.

“Oh my GOD!” You say softly as you cover your mouth in disbelief.  You began reading a personalized handwritten letter from Ben that read:

July 14, 2014

8855 South Bay Avenue San Francisco, CA  

Dear (Y/N),

First, I want to thank you for being such a loyal fan of mine for so many years.  I'm touched!

In response to your request for sponsorship of your charity Women Equality Goals (WEG), I would like to partner you up with my really good pal, Emma Watson. She is hosting a campaign in New York City on September 20th at the Headquarters of the United Nations. Emma has researched all the amazing work that you have done so far in your city and would love for you to join the campaign to spread your amazing work abroad.  

Thanks again for making a difference!

x,

BB

When Ben read your letter, he immediately recognized you from previous fan letters that you had written. There was something about you and the way that you wrote that caught Ben’s attention.  He felt an unexplained comfort towards you, especially after reading your last letter and seeing how much you cared for others.  It really touched him and he felt the need to respond, even if it was six months later. 

You stood there for a few minutes, still astounded that you received a letter from Ben Barnes, still astounded that you were invited to meet his pal Emma Watson and partner with her on something that you only dreamed of doing for such a long time now.  You could barely breathe.  

You try to find your phone with your shaky hand to call Joanne, but before you could find it, your phone started ringing, and there you found it inside of the pantry near the tea packets.  

You could barely swipe your iPhone before finally being able to answer it.

“Hey girl, what’s up?” Joanne asks you as she fiddles through her high rise apartment, dropping her keys and purse on the coffee table and kicking her feet up to talk to you.

“Hey.” You respond, still trembling.

“Are you alright, (Y/N)”?

You could barely speak, until you glanced at the letter again and a huge smile spread across your face.

“Joanne, you aren’t gonna believe this!” you blurt out.

“Believe what? That Daenerys decides to remain in Meereen? Did you finally catch up on all the missed GOT episodes?”

You smirk and started grinning.

“No, but thanks for ruining it for me though!”

Joanne chuckles.

“Oh shit, my bad girl, sorry.  So what do you have to tell me?”

You place your tea bag in the coffee mug and pour hot water into it.

“So you’ll never guess who I received a letter from today, or at some point since I never have time to check my mail anymore.”

Joanne sits up in her chair.

“Your bozo ass ex-boyfriend from Virginia?” Joanne snarls.

You laugh as you place your croissant on a plate and make your way to your sofa, your phone held up by your shoulders pressed against your right cheek.

“No.  I received a letter from Ben.”

“Who?”

“Ben! “ You exclaim excitedly.

Joanne scratches her head.

“Ben from the Fisherman’s Warf? Why would he send you a letter?”

You take a bite of your croissant.

“No, not that Ben.”

“Ok, I give up.  Then who?”

You take a deep breath and excel.

“Ben Barnes!”

Joanne stands up for this news, nearly dropping her phone.

“Wait what?!?  You mean Ben Barnes, the actor Ben Barnes?”

“YEESS!!!” you say excitedly, screaming.  

“No FUCKING WAY!” Joanne says, now pacing the hard wood floors of her sixth floor apartment.

You take another bite of your croissant.

“Oh yes, and it’s totally personalized.  He even left an address that does not seem to belong to his fan club.”

“You are SHITTING me!” Joanne says in excitement.  “That’s fucking incredible!  So what did he say in the letter?”

You pull the letter out and began reading it to Joanne.  She is completely blown away and starts screaming, literally dropping her phone.

You both engage in a conversation for hours, talking about what a wonderful human being Ben is to take the time to write you back on a matter that was so important to you.  Not only were you a big fan of Ben’s movies, television series, his modeling and theater productions, you were also a huge fan of Ben personally and his caring nature.  

After two weeks of settling down from receiving the letter from Ben, you decide to write him back to thank him for connecting you with Emma Watson, another person who you truly admired.  As promised, you received an official invitation in the mail to attend the “HeForShe” campaign at the Headquarters of the United Nations.  

What an honor!

You still could not believe that you would be in the presence of other empowering women who would make such a difference, and save someone’s life from abuse, discrimination and inequality.

You place the mail in the large blue bin, this time, with no hesitation.

Ben’s plane landed in London from Utah after wrapping up the final scenes of the Jackie & Ryan. He was exhausted after spending almost three weeks in Utah.  Although Ben was busy filming and was involved in so many other projects and interviews, he was curious to see if he had received anything in the mail from you…the woman who he thought about while filming.

After a long cab ride home, Ben stumbled to his large apartment flat and dropped his bags on the floor.  As tired as he was, he was anxious to check his mail to see if he had received anything from you, the person who had been on his mind for some time now.

There was an overflow of mail stashed away in Ben’s mailbox.  Good thing his fans didn’t have his home address, otherwise, he’d be flooded in mail daily.  Maybe it’s time Ben joined social media?

Ben fiddled through the mail and tossed it across his kitchen counter until he stumbled across your letter.  A gentle and warm smile spread across his handsome face as he hurriedly opened the mail. He plopped down on his grey sofa while gulping down a cold beer.  He grinned from ear to ear as he read your letter.

July 30, 2014

Ben Barnes

111 Oaks Street, #58 Kensington, London SW10 9JA

United Kingdom

Dear Ben,

I hope you are doing well.  I received your letter in the mail a few weeks ago. I have to say, I was completely humbled by receiving it.  You really touched my heart with your true and sincere interest in my charity.  I’ll be honest, never in a million years did I ever expect to hear back from you.  I am so honored!  I know that you are a very busy man, so I will keep this letter short and sweet.

I received the invitation in the mail to attend the “HeForShe” campaign in New York City in September.  I am beyond excited!  I have attached a photo of myself and my girls that I coach.   You have already made a difference in their lives just from your generous efforts.

I will never be able to repay you for what you are about to do for these young women, but if we ever meet in person one day, I would love to treat you to tea and beignets (smile).

Take care,

(Y/N)

Ben smiled as he sat the letter down on his coffee table, when he noticed a photo sticking half way out of the envelope.  He reached for the envelope and pulled out the photo of you, alongside the thirty girls in the photo.  

“She’s beautiful.” Ben said aloud in a soft whisper.  He rubbed his finger gently across your face in the photo.  Although Ben had not met you, he felt an unbelievable connection towards you that surprised him.  He always believed in being friends with someone first before starting a relationship. He was interested in getting to know you better more now than ever.  

After Ben finished his beer, he went straight to his office and began typing you a letter.  He hung your photo on the dart board on his office wall.  He felt good that he could assist you with such a wonderful cause. But he began to develop an interest in you that was deeper than just someone who he could assist. He was interested in getting to know you on a personal level as well.

Ben begin typing immediately.  He wrote so much in his first draft, but hesitated after reading it a few times.

“No, that’s too forward.”

“No, she’ll think I’m a dork.”

“Ok, I think I can send this one.”

Ben printed the letter, sealed the envelope and dropped it in his mailbox that evening.  He obviously wanted you to receive his letter pretty quickly.

“We are here to eliminate all forms of violence against all women and girls in the public and private spheres, including trafficking and sexual and other types of exploitation. We fight for goals like this if for no other reason than it’s the right thing to do. Women deserve fundamental human rights, and the Women Equality Goals (WEG) charity highlights this human responsibility to treat one another with respect and honor.  As the CEO of this charity, I am seeking your assistance in taking this program abroad.”

You stood in the mirror practicing your speech over and over.  Although the HeForShe campaign was still less than two months away, you wanted to ensure that you were prepared, since it would be your first time speaking in front of thousands of people.

You thought about Ben and wished he could read your speech.  If only there was a way that you could contact him to obtain his opinion.

You open your laptop and begin writing a letter to Ben.  You copy your speech into the letter and you seal it with a kiss.  You hadn’t received a response back from Ben from your previous letter, which made you skeptical in sending him another letter.

You go outside to your mailbox to check your mail, and you find a letter from Ben, which looked like it was sent to another address, returned to the sender, and then sent back to you.  

Wow, the letter was postmarked within a week of you sending him a response from the last letter.  

Your hands shake as you hold the new letter addressed to Ben and the letter you received from him. You drop the new letter in the return mail box, as you finally purchased stamps and felt much more confident sending letters now.

Your hands tremble as you make your way back into your home.   You rip open the letter as you plop down on your sofa to read it.

 August 7, 2014

8855 South Bay Avenue San Francisco, CA  

Dear (Y/N),

How are you?  I hope all is well in your neck of the woods.  I am sure you’re keeping very busy with your charity and coaching.   I wanted to thank you for sending me the amazing photo of you and your girls.  Would you mind if I shared this with Emma Watson?  She has already told me how excited she is to have you on the “HeForShe” campaign.  I am thrilled for you!  I wish I could join you all, but unfortunately I will be unavailable and filming.  Do have a splendid time.  I look forward to hearing about it.  

Cheers!

BB

Although Ben’s letters were short and sweet, the fact that he took the time to write you back right away meant a lot to you.  You call Joanne and she is completely blown away by yet another letter that you received from Ben.

“Oh bullshit (Y/N), he’s totally into you!” Joanne says as she shoves a handful of multigrain pita chips into her mouth.

You laugh.

“No, he’s just very happy that I am leading such a wonderful charity and trying to expand it.  Ben is a strong believer in gender equality and he is just excited to help me take my charity to the next level.”

“Believe what you want girlfriend, but no man is going to respond to woman that quickly if he ain’t interested.  I mean hell, did he write the letter back to you as soon as he received and read yours?”

You smile.  It would appear that Ben wrote you back immediately due to the fact that you mailed your letter on July 30th and he dated his letter August 7th.  

“Naahh, I am not even celebrity material.  There is no way Ben could be interested in a fan.” You thought to yourself.

“(Y/N)?’ Joanne grumbles. “Are you still there?”

You wake up from your daydream of meeting Ben, possibly dating Ben.

“Oh yes, sorry.  I’m here. But no, this is strictly business and I am sure Ben has women falling to his feet in every town he visits.”

Joanne smirks through the phone.

“But those women aren’t you, (Y/N).  Trust me, the man wants you. Mark my words.  Does he even know what you look like?”

You smile even more.

“Well, I did send him a photo of me and girls during our mission trip to Mexico this year.”

Joanne’s eyes widen.

“AAAHH!  Case closed.  When you marry Ben, I’m your maid of honor.  I already called it.”

“Oh stop it, Joanne. You’re wrong and I’m not even going down that path.  My focus is to get my girls the help they need and grow my charity abroad.”

“Oh yeah, it’s perfect! You’ll end up in London with Ben. You guys will have beautiful babies!” Joanne screams excitedly.

“Ok, you’re crazy.” You say as you get off your sofa to get yourself something to eat.

“I’m telling you, I know my gut feeling and I have a strong feeling about this one.” Joanne insists.

“Sure Miss Chloe the Psychic.”  You snarl. “Anyway, I need to get back to practicing my speech.  Dinner tomorrow night at the Warf?”

“Same time, different day. Toodles chickie.”

You hang up from Joanne and you hold the letter against your chest smiling up at the ceiling.

You and Ben wrote to one another every chance you could.  You were at the post office at least two or three times a month. Ben’s letters were very sweet, and they grew longer as the time went on. You both shared information on where you grew up, your childhood, your personal interests, your goals for the future, your likes, your dislikes.  You even came to a point where you discussed your previous relationships.

It was a week away until you would fly to New York City for the HeForShe campaign.  You expressed how excited and nervous you were to campaign your charity in front of such a large crowd, so Ben asked in his latest letter if he could call you to help you prepare.  You sent the letter exactly one week ago today, giving Ben your phone number. This made you even more nervous because it would be the first time that you would hear Ben’s voice on the phone and talk to him personally.

Your phone rang.  You look at the caller-ID and it was not Joanne. It was an unusual number with many digits.  It was not a domestic phone number and it looked like an international phone number.

OH GOD, IT’S HIM.

You inhale and exhale before picking up.  

“Hello.”

There is silence.

“Umm, hey, is this (Y/N)?” Ben asks shyly.

You smile widely.

“Yes, who’s calling?” You ask, although you already knew damn well who it was.

“Hey, (Y/N).  It’s Ben, Ben Barnes.” Ben says smiling.

You smile, trying to relax.

“Hey Ben! So great hearing from you.”

“Is this a good time to talk?” Ben asks bashfully.

You hear some noise in the background.

“Yes, sure of course. How about for you? Sounds like you’re in the middle of work?” you ask in concern.

Ben giggles.

“Yes, actually I am in the midst filming the Sons of Liberty in Romania.  Apologies for the background noise.”

Wow, Ben actually made time to call you from Romania while filming the Sons of Liberty?  Your heart began to pound.

“Oh, wow, thank you for making time to call me with your busy schedule.” You say while twisting your long hair.

“No worries, I’m happy to do it and to take a little break.  Besides, it’s really nice to finally hear your voice.” Ben says, his voice sounding a bit deeper and huskier.

You gulp.

“I need some water.” You say to yourself, opening a bottle of water frantically.

“Well, it’s nice to hear your voice too.” You say nervously.

Ben smiles. He could hear the nervousness in your voice, and he didn’t want to make you feel uncomfortable.

“Hey (Y/N), listen, I’ve only got a few more minutes until we start filming again.  Would you mind if I called you back in a few hours to listen to your speech?  I promise to be all ears then.  I just had to call you in between breaks.  Hearing your voice is refreshing.”

GODDAMN

You gulp again.

“Uuuh, sure.  I’ll be here.  Call me whenever you get a moment.” You say, trying to sound professional.

“Ok, then it’s a date.” Ben says smiling.

DATE? HOLY SHIT!

“Ok, sounds like a date. I’m looking forward to it.”

“Me too.  Talk to you then.”

“Bye.”

“Bye-bye.”

WOW!

Ben telling you that it’s nice to finally hear your voice and that your voice is refreshing was definitely something beyond what you were expecting to hear. Maybe Joanne was right?  But you being the modest person that you are was not going to let a few words that Ben Barnes said to you flatter you into believing that there could be something more to his weekly letters and phone call.  

Until…

Ben called you back in exactly two hours.  You and Ben talked all night long. You only got maybe two hours of sleep that night and had to be at your charity by 6 am.  You were dragging and definitely needed Starbucks.  What helped you get through the day was your conversation with Ben.  He loved your speech and gave you a few pointers.  You both were so comfortable talking to one another that you didn’t even notice the time. Ben was looking forward to calling you again.  He already placed his letter in the mail immediately after hanging up from you. 

You stood in front of the podium, bright lights surrounding you, but dimmed lights spread across the large hall.  You thought about Ben and his words of encouragement as you took the mic.  

“Remember, just be yourself.”

You take a deep breath. You scan the room of complete silence. You close your eyes and pray for confidence, until the words poured out of your mouth like a flowing river.

You receive a standing ovation for our speech.  You look around the room and see tears in the eyes of the UN Women from around the world.

You return back stage and you are greeted by Emma Watson.  

“(Y/N), I am so moved by what you have done with your charity and your fight for gender equality. I would like to offer you a job in London to start a test pilot for the HeForShe campaign called ‘IMPACT 10X10X10.’ If you accept the offer, you will serve as an assistant UN Women Global Goodwill Ambassador, reporting directly to me. You will start off in London and will migrate to other sectors as needed.  We need strong, confident, gentle and caring women like you on our team. What do you say, (Y/N)?  Are you ready to take your charity abroad by joining the ‘IMPACT 10X10X10’?”

You are stunned. Tears began to fill your eyes. Your phone rings as you wipe your tears away. You look down at your phone.

Ben Barnes calling

Emma looks at you and smiles.  

“Go ahead, take the call. Please think about my offer and let me know what you decide.  Great job, (Y/N).”

You give Emma a hug and hurry down the stairs to take your call.

“Hey.” You answer Ben, sounding like you had a stuffy nose.

Ben paused.

“Is everything alright?” he asks in concern.

“Yes, everything is fine.   How are you?”

“I’m great, just wanted to call to see how everything went.  I watched the campaign live on the internet.  You were BRILLIANT!” Ben said excitedly.

You were so overwhelmed with joy that you could hardly speak.

“Oh Ben, it went so well! I thought about what you told me, and after getting my thoughts together and praying, I felt more confident than ever.”

“So, do you have anything else that you want to share with me?”

You raise your eyebrow.

“Yes!  Get this, Emma offered me a job to launch the IMPACT 10X10X10 pilot abroad in London next year.  I am so blown away that I can hardly speak.  Oh Ben, my dreams have come true today!”

Ben smiles happily through the phone.

“I knew you could do it, (Y/N).  Those girls’ lives will never be the same because of your hard work and dedication. I am very proud of you, (Y/N). Congratulations sweetheart.”

Sweetheart?  Oh shit.

“Thank you, Ben.  I couldn’t have done it without your help and support.”

Ben smiles.

You put two and two together.

“Wait, were you behind Emma offering me the job?” You ask inquisitively.  

Ben chuckles.

“No, that was all you (Y/N), but, I did put in a good word or two about you.”

“Well, I’ll never be able to repay you or thank you enough.”

Ben smiles.

“Are you still going to keep that promise that you made to me?” Ben asks, smiling through his phone.

“What’s that?” you ask, trying remember what you promised.

“That if we ever met, you would treat me to tea and beignets.”

“A girl must always keep her promise.” You say, grinning widely.

“Ladies and gentleman, welcome to London, England.” The pilot from the British Airways jumbo jet announces form the intercom.

You hurry off the plane with your two small suitcases, dashing down the escalators and out of the Heathrow airport, faster than a speeding bullet.

There he was.

Ben Barnes, your pen pal, standing before you, live and in person.  He had his arms crossed, his long slim body leaning against is grey Bentley.

You approach him and you both stand there, gazing at one another in silence.

You both smile.

“Hi.” You say, grinning from ear to ear.

Ben stands straight in front of you, uncrossing his arms, a mere inch away from you.  He takes you in his arms and embraces you in a warm hug, picking you up suddenly and holding you in the air by your waist.

You let up a yelp and laugh.

He places you back on the ground and looks at you intensely.  He cups your face and kisses you passionately.  

You never thought that your first meeting with Ben would start off with a kiss, the most amazing kiss that you ever had in your life.

“I love you, (Y/N).” Ben whispers in your ear.

“I love you, too Barnes.” You say as you wrap your arms around Ben’s strong neck, continuing the kiss as you lift up the back of your right leg.

“I guess Joanne was right.”

[savagegardenforever]

Darren's Diaries

These are Darren's Diaries from the first tour (Future of Earthly Delites/To the Moon And Back) from 1998.

There are six entries - 4th July, 7th July, 12th July, 20th July, 15th August and 8th September.

4th July

   Well here I am sitting on a tour bus. It's a twelve    sleeper and there are 8 of us...Daniel and I...our band...and our tour manager. We have    completed over 50 shows since the start of this tour in Australia in January. Finally we    are in America. For the next two months we will be playing 40 shows in the States and    Canada. It is going to be an incredible experience. Exciting and Exhausting I'm sure.

So far we started production rehearsals in Rockford Illinois. Our first show    was in Chicago for the B96 radio show with Boyz to Men and Mariah Carey. Minneapolis was    next. We then travelled into Canada for two incredible shows in Saskatoon then Edmonton.    As I type this we are headed for Calgury. The Canadian audiences have been really cool.    Very into the music and very LOUD!!

Our band are playing really well together. I am very proud to be on    the stage with them every night. We have Anna Maria Laspina and Nicole McIntyre on backing    vocals. Karl Lewis on Drums. Ben Carey on Guitars and Lee Novak on Bass. I have included    some pictures of us during hot and sweaty production rehearsals. You'll also find the new    stage clothes provided by Diesel and on my fave pics ever...Me with fans after the    Minneapolis gig.

Sharing a tour bus together is kinda strange. It's    like...HUGE...with two loungerooms with tables and videos and soundsystems etc...then    there is a little kitchen where we all make cups of tea and sandwhiches after gigs. It's    almost like the Brady Bunch on Tour. Our beds have little T.V's in them and little    curtains to block out the rabble. It's actually a lot more comfortable than I thought it    would be. Let me get back to you on that in a few weeks though!

7th July  

 So now I'm on my way from Seattle to    Portland. Still on the bus...I swear it's like the Partridge Family. I took a little    family shot to demonstrate how pathetic and domesticated we have all become. Andy our bus    driver is very cool...he makes me vegetarian meals sometimes... and puts up with our table    manners.

The Vancouver show was probably one of the tightest    shows we have played ever...good crowd...and we were really on it. It's so funny...I just    read a report from Edmontone where the reviewer thought that maybe I lip synch my vocals    because...in his words..."Hayes hits some unnaturally high notes.."!!!    I think that is so ironic. I mean...I have good nights...and bad nights. Sometimes I sing    up a storm...and other nights it's not quite what I want it to be. To have someone think    it's all on tape is kind of an indirect compliment. I guess it means I sang well!! I'll    tell you...last night in Seattle...I was WISHING my vocals were on tape...I was so tired.    But the crowd seemed to get into it and by half way through I was in my own little world.

Playing live is definately something we are proud of. I personally    have a big problem with 'artists' who mime...or lip synch...or whatever you wanna call it.    I believe that seeing a band live is warts and all. If I hit a bum note...then so be    it...that is what you pay for. If I hit a brilliant note...then that's fantastic. That's    what makes some nights INCREDIBLE...and others not so. You never know. Also I figure if    you want to listen to the cd...stay home. Coming out to see a band live is all about    living in the moment.

So after the Portland show we get a much needed day off...before we    start the San Fransisco, L.A , Vegas leg. Viva Las Vegas Baby.

Outta here...

12th July

       Before anything happens I gotta tell you that playing    in Red Rocks...Colorado was the most incredible experience for me. The setting was like    something from heaven..the weather was incredible. It actually rained the entire show but    the 7000 plus crowd stayed to the end... It was so magical. The thunder and lightning in    that historical venue...and the crowd. It made me very emotional.

I kept thinking of U2's "Under a blood red sky" live    album...recorded there. It was just the same as it looked all those years ago when I sat    in my lounge room watching the video...looking at my heros. To play there...was a VERY big    deal for me.

I'm in San Antonio Texas writing this...in my hotel room. Just came    back from a fantastic show here. What a cool crowd. I really dig this town. It looks    NOTHING like the rest of Texas... Last night we went out and had fantastic Mexican food    and drank Starbucks while walking along the riverbank in the middle of the city...with all    cafe's and restaurants along the river edge. It was incredible...the night was windy and    the temperature was not as hot as it apparently has been. I thought in this email I would    include some more personal photos of the band and our crew...There is this beautiful man    from Texas called Chuck...who has been married for 25 years. Chuck is a sound/monitor    engineer on our tour. His daughter Victoria has these adorable little twins Joseph and    Jacob...so I managed to get a cuddle of the babies before our show in San Antonio tonite.    Boy did I get clucky. It was Nicole's birthday today...it's Daniel's on Wednesday...so we    have kind of been celebrating for a few days now. Nicole and Anna (our backing singers)    are dear friends of mine...and we have a blast.

We get along really well with Sneaky Pete...the production    assistant. He is evil...in the funniest way. His assistant Laurie is THE BIGGEST    SWEETHEART. I included a picture of me hugging her because she is my lifeline.

She is in charge of all sorts of things...but for me..her main job    is making sure the dressing rooms are set up...wardrobe and costumes are set out and    laundered...candles are lit...music is playing...holdiays are booked and roses sent to    family members. Basically she is my mom on the road...and she is incredible. Her attention    to detail makes coming into the dressing room such a pleasure..everything from my after    shave to the kind of tea I drink...she is aware of..and makes sure it is all in order.

I also included a picture of Daniel playing with his new Keyboard    backstage with Lindsay...one of our other fave people. Linds is a guitar tech on this    tour...but really he is an awesome drummer...who last worked with Pearl Jam doing drum    tech for them. Just the sweetest person.

Who else can I tell you about?? Motley our lighting designer is a    little yoda...he is so spiritual and deep..and a dear friend. Collin Ellis mixes our    sound...and is a very nice bloke!!

Crash...our sound engineer on stage..(does in ear monitors...) told    me tonite that the reason I get soo tired is that I need to 'take more exercise.'    Hahaha... I work out 5 or 6 days a week...two hours a day...as well as doing the show!!    The entire band just cracked up laughing at him. Oh well...he was only trying to help. He    is very funny...and oh..also good at his job.

I am getting excited because we are about to have three days off!!    Whoo hoo!! I mean...I love the tour...but I have been working on this album for 2 and a    half years...and touring it since January. We are all very tired...and looking forward to    the rest. When we start up again we will be HALF WAY... That is pretty cool.

Last night I couldn't sleep because I was dreaming up the name...the front cover and the artwork for our new album. All we need now is the music!! Haha...

I am rambling...but it's late...and life is really good. God bless.

Darren

20th July

           Hey...welcome back to the tour. We have missed you. Let    me take you now to a very sacred place. This is my bed in the tour bus. I call it my    'monkey bunk'...don't ask me why...it's kinda private...! But that's what I call it...    Actually I have become quite fond of it. To the point that I am finding it hard to sleep    in regular beds now. I am used to the constant rocking of the highway. There is a little    T.V in there...but I rarely watch it. By the time my head hits the pillow...I am out! It    is actually very soothing...and I am someone who finds sleeping very difficult.

We have had a ball on tour with our new support...Billy Myers.

Billy Myers is just FANTASTIC. She is very talented...as are her    band. Billy is also VERY VERY funny. Here is a picture of her and I in my dressing room    about two seconds before our show in Miami. This was the day of our manager...Rebecca's    birthday. We got her all sorts of nice presents and this huge cake. Here is a picture of    my face in the cake.

Long Story! I am commonly known as 'tabu' in the band because I kind    of...well...I just take things to the extreme in terms of practical jokes and goofing about. Usually with birthday cakes I end of throwing them all over people...and sticking them to walls etc. You know...normal things like that. So this time the band got me  first...Laurie..our production GODDESS pushed my face into it when I was PRETENDING to  take a big bite. GRRRR!! Florida was hot and steamy...and reminded me very much of  Australia. Played some great shows...although something really stupid happened in Fort Lauderdale. For some bizarre reason..security allowed five audience members to run onto the stage during Truly Madly Deeply. But I don't mean just running up to say hello. They kind of scared the hell out of all of us...and ruined a beautiful moment in the song. We virtually didn't end the show...because they just wouldn't leave the stage. So we all learned a valuable lesson in security. I had my eyes closed as I sang the last notes of the last song of the night...and felt the stair case rumble...and when I looked up there  were three people on the stage with me. It just made no sense to me...I tried to talk to the girl...even say hi...but she was screaming...while her boyfriend spent his time  telling aggressively informing anyone who would listen that he had every right to be there    on stage because he won an after show pass.!!! THIS WAS DURING THE SHOW!!! I look back now  and kinda laugh it off but in the moment...I really felt that the incident ruined to mood    for the rest of the audience. I didn't really get to say goodbye to the crowd...we just    had to leave.

I spent my few days off in New York while the rest of the band  travelled to Myrtle Beach and apparently had a blast. I keep missing the really good    unexpected fun times. Apparently the break in New Orleans was wild as well. There will be news about this in the next fanzine I believe.

Delaware...Harrington was such a bizarre experience. We played at    the State Fair. This was a 4 hour drive from New York...in the middle of nowhere... A    great show with a really enthusiastic audience. Afterwards we went to the local TGI    Friday's restaurant and everyone who had a cell phone was informed that the band were    there...so we spent our evening binge eating while locals watched in horror. Our visit to    the local bowling alley was hilarious. I of course...the king of cool (really just a cover    for my lack of physical ability in sports) refused to play. For 'fashion reasons' I said.    But I don't think anyone believed me. I took a photo of their shoes.

Daniel refused to let me photograph his involvement in this    activity...but let's just say...at bowling...HE RULES. He beat the pants off everyone.

Here is my reaction to bowling... my thrilled to be bowling face.

And this is really what we have been reduced to. Bowling. Oh    yeah...we also play pictionary a lot. All jokes aside...we have had such a wonderful time    so far...it's already August ...and the tour has only 4 weeks to go. I think we are all    going to be very sad when it ends. We have just spent so much time together...we really do    feel like family.

We have met so many wonderful fans...been treated like royalty and  we want to thank you so much for coming out to see us play live. More soon I guess!

15th August

       I am once again sitting at the desk in the kitchen of    our tour bus. We are travelling from Missouri to Illinois. Can you believe that we have    performed 30 shows already on the North American leg of this tour? We have only 9 more    shows left and then the tour is officially over. We started in Australia in January...then on to New Zealand...Asia... Including Japan and India...Europe...and finally America. I  think when it winds up we will have played almost 80 shows. That's a pretty good feeling you know...I had no idea I would have the stamina to get through...and yet here we are looking at the end of the tour...and really the end of this album.

Here are a couple of shots from our show tonight in Missouri.  It's such a long way from where it all started.

It's funny you know... with this site I have tried really hard to    document all sorts of experiences...and not just the musical ones. Yesterday in    Indianapolis I decided that real life was just a little too normal...so I invented a drama    so that I could write about it...and photograph it...and present it to you...(How sad is    that!!)

To cut a long story short... Nicky and I decided to 'steal' a golf cart from the Indianapolis state fair officials. Well...we didn't really 'steal' it..we  kinda just borrowed it and deceived a few people into thinking that our backstage passes  were really licenses to drive a golf buggy. Here is a picture of our initial Evil plan...

It was so funny. Our crew and the security at the venue didn't know    what was happening. I actually took the buggy INTO the arena...where all the fans were    taking their seats for Billie Myers (BY THE WAY..BIG APOLOGY FOR SPELLING HER NAME WRONG    LAST UPDATE...!!!) So anyway...Nikky and I were spinning and flying around the    arena...some of the audience recognized me and started chasing the golf buggy. Although    fun...golf carts are NOT good escape vehicles. I managed to get away by fooling the    security guard that 'everything was in order'.

The cart was returned with lots of apologies and no feelings hurt.

Lots has happened since I last wrote. I never really told you about  the band's new obsession with Golf did I?? It kind of stems from Dan...but everyone...excluding me...has been getting into it. Anna and I generally work out...like A    LOT...which can be exhausting when on tour because you sweat so much on stage as    well...but it has been an adventure just trying to find gyms in every town we go to... But    we have been pretty successful so far.

Today I went crazy recording items in our dressing room. Don't ask    me why...but here are snapshots of shoes...and sunglasses. Lets face it...in Savage    Garden...these are very important elements of our success...(joke!!)

It's weird...I just figured I would have LOVED to have seen stupid    photos of Michael Jackson's wardrobe when I was like...a kid...so I figured...for those of    you out there who enjoy the small details... this is for you.

We really have had such fun with Billie Myers. Her band are very    talented...and friendly. Billie herself is incredible. Such an artist. I watched her    performing 'Tell Me' and 'Kiss the Rain' yesterday in Indianapolis and I was very moved.    She ran all over the stage...climbed EVERYTHING...and ended up at the back of the    auditorium with the audience...still singing. I will be very sad to say goodbye because I    have learned a lot just being around her. Beautiful soul. True performer.

Here is another pic of Billie and I just before the Missouri show.

Our shows have been wonderful lately. The crowds have just been    getting better and better. Some of the small towns have been incredible experiences. We    played a HUGE show in Bethlehem P.A. It was part of their MusikFest festival...and it was    one of the largest shows they have had there. Truly magical.

Soon we head to New York...(DUH...my fave city) for a few days as we    are involved in a private SECRET event that will be revealed to you in due time. But I am    very much looking forward to being there...

I will keep you updated.

Darren

8th September

It's over. 8 months and 85 shows later here we are    on a plane back to real life. I am so exhausted as I type this...and really unsure as to    how it all feels. I am going to go back for you...a few weeks to catch up on everything    that lead up to this final moment of reflection. I remember telling you in my last update    that we were in New York for a "secret" gig...well I can tell you now it was for    the Elite Modelling agency Look competition...and we performed at this club in Manhattan    called Life. It is one of those velvet rope deals...and to be honest...I had never been in    until that night.

We performed a very short set in front of a room full of beautiful    women..and famous people. Jerry Seinfeld was there... Apparently he offered to meet us    when we had sold 12 million albums as opposed to the 8 million that we actually    have. Haha. Thanks for the homework Mr. Seinfeld. Afterwards he hung out in the same foofy    area with us...smoking cigars, flanked by burly security guards. Anna said hi. I was too    busy working out how to sell 4 more million albums.

Our set was GREAT...some people say one of the best we have played    because of it's simplicity and audacity. We just PLAYED...didn't really give a damn...and    it paid off. We headed off ... back to the rest of the tour...but soon ended up back in    planet Manhattan (that's what Motley our lighting designer calls it...as it is like no    other place on earth) after our Boston gig (very pretty btw...nice venue) to play the    Beacon Theatre. What an experience THAT was.

Madonna attended. Rod Stewart was there with wife and kids. We were    sold out. Need I say there was a little tension in the air. But it turned out to be such a    powerful show...such an energy to it. Probably because of the whole Madonna vibe. Thing    is...Billie Myers had heard me singing "Ray of Light" at soundcheck...and told    Madonna and friends that we do it well. The day of our show we get a phone call from    executives asking where in our show it is performed as Madonna is possibly coming along to    have a look. Of course we freaked out...of course we immediately added it to our show even    though we have never performed it as a band!!

So Madonna did attend...and from all accounts...was standing and    grooving with the rest of them...and had a smile on her face... What more can you say?    Very VERY surreal moment...performing in front of someone who inspired me to be here. Did    someone say OH MY GOD???

So the next day was our end of tour party...even though we had two    more shows to do...where better to celebrate than NYC? It was in this place called Lot 61    in Chelsea...and we had a blast. It was actually very emotional and I think that is when    it really hit me that this was all coming to a close.

The next day we left for Cleveland...had a great show...and then    prepared for our last gig in Kentucky. All sorts of mad and weird stuff went on that day.    Last shows are traditionally weird anyway...as everyone feels kinda depressed but    exhausted and practical jokes are happening everywhere.

Some of the craziness?? Billie Myers appeared on stage during our    All Around Me routine on the shoulders of our road crew dressed in her best Scary Spice    outfit screaming SPICE UP YOUR LIFE. She then proceeded to spray us with Silly String    (that shaving cream gunk...) Very funny!! We almost couldn't do the song.

Members of our band were seen doing all sorts of weird things...like    kissing each other...wearing each other's costumes...and hamming it up. We managed to drag    every crew member on stage or under a spotlight during the band intro...and someone    painted the words WE'LL MISS YOU on the drum riser.

During the encore...we sang ONE OF US...and got a bit choked up as I    dedicated it to Chuck...our sound assistant who's Grandchild is going in for an operation    soon. I asked the crowd to say a prayer for him and that's when it really hit me that the    tour was over. Not just the tour either...but this album...this stage of our lives. Like    graduating from High School this felt like a real ending...and the beginning of a future    somewhere out there.

After the show...we all ended up on Billie's bus...disco dancing and    acting like complete morons. Had a blast.

I want to take this opportunity to say thank you to each and every    one of you...for giving us this incredible experience...for listening to the music...for    understanding it...for coming out in droves to see our circus when it came to your town.    This is a thank you to you...the fans of the music...and our colleagues...the Savage    Garden Band...and Crew...It has been the most humbling experience to have know you...I    feel like a better man for having been through this all with you.

This is a farewell of sorts...for a long time. We have to take some    much needed rest...get our thoughts together and try and remember what real life is about    for a little while. Before you know it...we will be in the studio...working on more magic.    Until then...we are going to go away until we have something thoughtful to say.

Thanks for the memories.    See you in THE FUTURE.....

Darren

[alamante]

Wardrobe whoopsies: On purpose, or an accident?

Sometimes stars want to cringe with embarrassment. Other times, they just want attention.

https://ift.tt/2hI3b1g News

http://www.foxnews.com/

Kim Kardashian: An accident

Reality TV star Kim Kardashian nearly suffered a wardrobe malfunction in front of paparazzi while attending Beautycon Los Angeles with her daughter North West. For more photos of Kardashian, visit x17online.com.

(X17)

kim-kardashian:-an-accident

Rachel McCord: On purpose

Actress/model Rachel McCord made heads turn on the blue carpet while attending the DailyMail.com and DailyMailTV summer party in West Hollywood. A smiling McCord had no qualms flashing a sideboob for photographers while wearing a daring low-cut top. MORE: BEST DRESSED CELEBS — JULY 2018

(Getty)

rachel-mccord:-on-purpose

Heidi Klum: On purpose

Model Heidi Klum did not seem to mind showing off her lacy bra during a heat wave in New York City.

(Splash)

heidi-klum:-on-purpose

Cindy Crawford: By accident

Cindy Crawford was spotted showing too much as she was getting dressed for a photoshoot on Malibu beach. For more photos of Crawford, visit x17online.com.

(X17)

cindy-crawford:-by-accident

Michelle Rodriguez: By accident

Actress Michelle Rodriguez nearly faced a wardrobe malfunction while posing for photographers at the De Grisogono Party during the 71st annual Cannes Film Festival. For more photos of Rodriguez, visit x17online.com.

(X17)

michelle-rodriguez:-by-accident

Adriana Lima: By accident

Victoria’s Secret model Adriana Lima almost revealed a little too much while she was posing for photographers during a photoshoot in New York City.

(Splash)

adriana-lima:-by-accident

Lindsey Vonn at the ACMs: By accident

Lindsey Vonn showed up with a big stain on her chest at the ACM Awards. It’s unclear if it was just really hot on the red carpet or if Vonn accidentally spilled some water on her dress before walking out in front of the cameras. Either way, the athlete clearly didn’t realize the awkward mistake.

(AP)

lindsey-vonn-at-the-acms:-by-accident

Margot Robbie: By accident

Robbie revealed a strap of her Oscars’ dress broke during the show, and she sewed it back on herself after an assistant brought her a sewing kit. “Oh, ain’t got time for that!” she told People magazine.

(AP)

margot-robbie:-by-accident

Jennifer Lawrence: By accident

(FilmMagic/Getty)

jennifer-lawrence:-by-accident

Kourtney Kardashian: By accident

Kourtney Kardashian went braless at her dinner with sister Kendall Jenner at Craig’s in West Hollywood but as she walked from the restaurant, her dress slipped and showed off her nipple cover. Photographers snapped the wardrobe malfunction. 

(Splash)

kourtney-kardashian:-by-accident

Christina Aguilera: On purpose

Christina Aguilera opted for a daring look when she dressed up as a titillating cowgirl, pasties and all, for a holiday party. “So much holiday fun last night,” captioned the 37-year-old singer on Instagram. For more photos of Aguilera, visit HollywoodLife.com.

(Instagram)

christina-aguilera:-on-purpose

Erin Holland: By accident

Former Miss World Australia Erin Holland gave photographers an eyeful when she accidentally flashed her fashion tape at the Harper’s BAZAAR party in Sydney.

  (Splash)

erin-holland:-by-accident

Monika Radulovic: By accident

Former Miss Universe Australia Monika Radulovic was with her artist partner, Alesandro Ljubicic, when she accidentally flashed her underwear at the MAAS Centre for Fashion Ball while on the red carpet. 

(Splash)

monika-radulovic:-by-accident

Bebe Rexha: By accident

Bebe Rexha had a wardrobe snafu on the Grammys red carpet on Jan. 28, 2018. The back of the singer’s dress ripped in the back but she quickly got herself together for the big show.

(AP/Fox News)

bebe-rexha:-by-accident

Bella Hadid: By accident

(Getty)

bella-hadid:-by-accident

Irina Shayk: An accident

Russian model Irina Shayk happily posed for photographers at The Fashion Awards 2017 held in London’s Royal Albert Hall. However, the 31-year-old didn’t noticed she was showing off a little too much.

(Splash)

irina-shayk:-an-accident

Charlotte McKinney: By accident

Charlotte McKinney kicked off the Halloween festivities by dressing up as Michelle Pfeiffer’s character Elvira Hancock from 1983’s “Scarface.” However, the 24-year-old revealed more than what she anticipated in front of photographers. For more photos of McKinney, visit x17online.com.

(X17)

charlotte-mckinney:-by-accident

Cristiana Capotondi: By accident

(WireImage)

cristiana-capotondi:-by-accident

Olivia Munn: By accident

(Backgrid)

olivia-munn:-by-accident

Joanna Krupa: By accident

(Splash)

joanna-krupa:-by-accident

Kendall’s sheer top: On purpose

Kendall Jenner donned a completely-sheer red top while stepping out in New York City. The reality star and model seems to have forgotten her bra on purpose leaving very little to the imagination.

(Splash)

kendall’s-sheer-top:-on-purpose

Ronda Rousey

(BackGrid/Reuters)

ronda-rousey

Selena Gomez: By accident

Selena Gomez suffered her second wardrobe malfunction in less than one week. Unlike last week when she donned a sheer dress with no bra (see the next slide), this time the pop star flashed her breasts by accident. Click here for more pics of the wardrobe whoops.

(X17)

selena-gomez:-by-accident

Selena Gomez: On purpose

(BackGrid)

selena-gomez:-on-purpose

Emily Ratajkowski: By accident

(Adriana M. Barraza/WENN.com)

emily-ratajkowski:-by-accident

Stella Maxwell

Victoria’s Secret model Stella Maxwell stepped out in a revealing wrap dress while in London. It took Miley Cyrus’ rumored ex a little while to realize the wind had blown her dress open…

(Splash)

stella-maxwell

Lake Bell

Lake Bell had a Marilyn Monroe moment on the red carpet when a big gust of wing blew up the fringes on her dress to reveal her underwear. Talk about embarrassing! Click here for more wardrobe malfunctions.

(Splash News)

lake-bell

Kris Jenner

The Kardashian momager showed off a little too much when she stepped out to dinner with her boyfriend Corey Gamble. Jenner clearly forgot her bra at home and suffered a wardrobe malfunction in her peek-a-boo dress

(Splash)

kris-jenner

Lindsey Vonn

Lindsey Vonn showed off her wardrobe malfunction on Instagram. The professional athlete shared a picture of herself at the gym with a few holes in her workout pants. She wrote, “When you get to the gym and your trainer starts laughing at you because your dog ate your pants…literally.” Click here for more pictures of the star on Hollywoodlife.com.

(Reuters/Instagram)

lindsey-vonn

Ben Affleck

(Getty)

ben-affleck

Melanie Griffith

Is this a case of bad lighting or a case of over-sharing? We can’t be too sure, but Griffith’s dress left little to the imagination. 

(Splash News)

melanie-griffith

Kelly Bensimon

(Startraksphoto)

kelly-bensimon

Petra Nemcova

The model took a big fashion risk and donned a sheer jumpsuit at the Chopard party during the Cannes Film Festival sans bra. It’s unclear whether she intended to show off her bare chest or if it was an unfortunate wardrobe malfunction. Star sightings: Celebrities at Cannes 2016

(Getty)

petra-nemcova

Khloe Kardashian

Well, hello! Khloe Kardashian showed off a bit more than she was bargaining for when she attended a Beyoncé concert. The reality star donned a skin-tight black bodysuit and no underwear. When the paparazzi’s flashing cameras set off, the bodysuit became completely sheer and revealed the star’s booty. Click here for more pics of Kardashian on X17online.com.

(X17)

khloe-kardashian

Alessandra Ambrosio: Oops!

(PacificCoastNews)

alessandra-ambrosio:-oops!

Sharna Burgess: On accident

The ‘DWTS’ star’s top fell down at the end of a performance with Antonio Brown, so ABC had to cut away until she dealt with the situation. She gave her malfunction a “10,” but the judges gave the dance “8s”.

(ABC)

sharna-burgess:-on-accident

Hailey Baldwin: On purpose

(X17)

hailey-baldwin:-on-purpose

Jennifer Garner: By accident

Jennifer Garner shared an embarrassing moment on the red carper with there “Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day” co-star Steve Carell. The mom-of-three accidentally revealed a pair of nude Spanx under her LBD. Click here for more celebrity wardrobe malfunctions.

(Splash)

jennifer-garner:-by-accident

Sofia Vergara: On accident

(Getty)

sofia-vergara:-on-accident

Nicki Minaj: The jury is out

Nicki Minaj held her dress together as she performed “Bang Bang” during the MTV Video Music Awards on August 24, 2014. She said it was an accident. TMZ reported that it was all staged.

(Reuters)

nicki-minaj:-the-jury-is-out

Lily Allen: Whoops!

The British singer made the same faux pas in the same silver jumpsuit last month when she opened for Miley Cyrus on her “Bangerz” Tour. Allen, 29, displayed more than she intended in the shiny outfit with a low-cut neckline. Click here for more from HollywoodLife.com.

(Getty)

lily-allen:-whoops!

Rihanna: On purpose

Rihanna walked down the red carpet in the most talked-about dress at the CFDA Fashion Awards. A sheer layer of mesh-like, Swarovski crystals-covered material separated her birthday suit from the rest of the world. Rihanna’s known for pushing the fashion envelope, but did she go too far this time?

(Reuters)

rihanna:-on-purpose

Miley Cyrus: Whoops

For once, it seems Miley Cyrus didn’t intentionally expose herself on camera. The outrageous and always scantily-clad Cyrus only meant to open her shirt to reveal her toned abs and black bra, but ended up posting a nip slip on Instagram.

(Instagram)

miley-cyrus:-whoops

Ashley Tisdale: Whoops

Tisdale only meant to show off her toned legs but ended up exposing herself to the paparazzi. The 28-year-old might want to try a slightly longer miniskirt next time. For more pictures of the bride-to-be (fiance is musician Christopher French) visit X17online.com.

(X17online.com)

ashley-tisdale:-whoops

Miley Cyrus: On purpose (again)

Miley celebrated Flashback Friday by posting a topless photo of herself getting her now signature pixie cut. While Cyrus had plenty of clothed photos to post of herself, the selfie-obsessed singer chose one which she knew would get lots of attention. Mission accomplished Miley. Click here for more outrageous Miley moments.

(Instagram)

miley-cyrus:-on-purpose-(again)

Rosie Huntington-Whiteley: On purpose

(X17)

rosie-huntington-whiteley:-on-purpose

Sharon Stone: On purpose

(© www.splashnews.com)

sharon-stone:-on-purpose

Kendall Jenner: On purpose again

The “Keeping Up With The Kardashians,” 18, definitely knew what she was doing when she ditched her bra to strut her stuff down the Marc Jacobs runway during New York Fashion Week. (AP)

(AP)

kendall-jenner:-on-purpose-again

Carmen Electra: On purpose

Come on, wearing no bra when you know your dress is see through? Aren’t you better than that, Carmen Electra? Oh, you once dated Dennis Rodman? Maybe not.

See the whole set at RumorFix.com.

(© www.splashnews.com)

carmen-electra:-on-purpose

Britney Spears: An accident

While performing in Las Vegas, Britney nearly lost her entire ensemble when her sequin leotard popped open during her dance routine. Once of her backup dancers re-zipped Brit as she danced through the wardrobe whoops. 

(Instagram)

Click here for more on Britney from ET

britney-spears:-an-accident

Lindsay Lohan: On purpose

Apparently Lindsay’s latest rehab stint didn’t address her need to over-share on social media. The actress posted this revealing pic, clearly a non-accidental wardrobe malfunction. 

(Instagram)

lindsay-lohan:-on-purpose

Brooklyn Decker: An accident

(RumorFix)

brooklyn-decker:-an-accident

Nina Agdal: An accident

Sure, Agdal wore a white evening gown into the sea, so when things went awry, it was not surprising, but we do think it filing up with water like that was not exactly what she or the photographers anticipated. So score one for kind of an accident!

See 31 more pics of Nina in the water at RumorFix.

(RumorFix)

nina-agdal:-an-accident

Candice Swanepoel: An Accident

Model Candice Swanepoel was walking the catwalk in Brazil, when her sheer top slipped and showed too much. Ever the professional, Candice just kept strutting down the runway. The show must go on! 

(AP)

candice-swanepoel:-an-accident

Stephanie Seymour: An accident

(© 2013 FameFlynet, Inc – Beverly Hills, CA, U.S.A.)

stephanie-seymour:-an-accident

Kate Moss: On purpose

(Contact: Insight News & Features, Inc.)

kate-moss:-on-purpose

Tina Fey: By accident

tina-fey:-by-accident

Pamela Anderson: On purpose

(© 2013 FameFlynet, Inc – Beverly Hills, CA, U.S.A.)

pamela-anderson:-on-purpose

Nabilla Benattia: On purpose

(© www.splashnews.com)

nabilla-benattia:-on-purpose

Miranda Kerr: On purpose

Orlando Bloom’s wife decided to leave her bra at home when she headed to watch the U.S. Open. Apparently a nationally televised tennis event is not an occasion for undergarments?

Go to E! for more pics of Miranda.

  (Splash)

miranda-kerr:-on-purpose

Paula Patton: By accident

Paula showed off more than she bargained for at the “Two Guns” premiere in New York.

For more pics of Paula, go to x17online.com.

(X17online.com)

paula-patton:-by-accident

Ashley Greene: On purpose

(Rumorfix.com)

ashley-greene:-on-purpose

Toni Braxton: By accident 

Braxton’s dress fell down during a dance routine with an audience member at one of her concerts. Luckily a fan noticed and gave her his blazer to cover up with for the remainder of the song.

(YouTube/Reuters)

toni-braxton:-by-accident 

Jennifer Aniston: On purpose

Aniston opted not to wear anything underneath her tight T-shirt on the set of “Squirrels to the Nuts” in New York. 

See more of Aniston on set.

  (X17online.com)

jennifer-aniston:-on-purpose

The Bella Twins: By accident

The WWE’s Brie Bella had a wardrobe malfunction during a taping of “Total Divas” on “WWE Raw.” She later tweeted: “I apologize 4 my wardrobe malfunction I’m embarrassed & it looks as though the humidity made my tape come off You’ll never see that again! B.”

See more of the twins supporting our troops.

(USA)

the-bella-twins:-by-accident

Gerard Butler: By accident 

(© 2013 FameFlynet, Inc – Beverly Hills, CA, U.S.A.)

gerard-butler:-by-accident 

Lady Gaga: On purpose

lady-gaga:-on-purpose

Courtney Stodden: On purpose

In an outfit  like this, it’s hard to believe Courtney Stodden’s slip was really an accident. The 18-year-old showed too much in her black mesh “dress” (if you can even call it that). 

(Splash)

Click here for more Stodden pics from ET.

courtney-stodden:-on-purpose

Miley Cyrus: By accident

Though Miley loves to show a lot of skin, we think this one time her wardrobe malfunction was not on purpose. 

What is it about underwear that celebrities detest so much?

Check out more photos of Miley on RumorFix.

  (© www.splashnews.com)

miley-cyrus:-by-accident

Rita Ora: By accident

(RumorFix)

rita-ora:-by-accident

Selena Gomez: By accident 

Former Disney star Selena Gomez had a totally accidental slip up during a concert in Boston. After her skirt showed too much, Selena held on to it for the remainder of the performance. 

Click here for more from RumorFix

selena-gomez:-by-accident 

Reese Witherspoon: By accident

reese-witherspoon:-by-accident

Mariah Carey: By accident 

Mariah Carey’s live wardrobe malfunction while performing on “Good Morning America” was definitely not on purpose. 

(Reuters)

mariah-carey:-by-accident 

John Travolta: By accident

(X17online.com)

john-travolta:-by-accident

Eva Longoria: By accident

eva-longoria:-by-accident

Jessica Alba: On purpose

(RumorFix)

jessica-alba:-on-purpose

Anne Hathaway: By accident

anne-hathaway:-by-accident

Source link

   The post Wardrobe whoopsies: On purpose, or an accident? appeared first on MySourceSpot.