#off the bridge and also all of my clothes feel bad and the stupid vacuum doesnt work and i need to buy a new one but theyre expensive and

[iknowwhereyousleepatnight]

im going to kill everyone for real this time

[zenithgurugirl]

Truth pt. 2

My mother since birth has sabotaged my life existence. Anything inspirational as kid that I have done, she did not support. As a child you have the tendency to impress your parent by joining spelling bee's, sports, art stuff, etc... You become social and make friends and become a part of your friends circle (clicks, subculture, etc...).

Okay, so the first thing I do as a child (because I did not go to preschool and probably should have to learn social friendly skills) I tried to play house with the other children. This did not work out well. The kids had the mommy and the daddy thing already picked out and they already picked out their kids (in Kindergarten we had this huge area with sections of play houses set up, it was awesome! Little fridges, ovens, bunk beds, table and chairs, all sorts of plastic foods and plates. It was loads of fun for most little kids okay.)

I was scouted out as a maid. We had picked babysitters and even played out granny and grampy but No... I was maid. I cleaned up the kitchens and made the beds. I cooked and vacuumed, swept and mopped. I did not have a place to go so I switched out into different play house families. I was honed out to be alone. The little girls had "mommy" meetings and the "dads" went to work. I went from play house to play house cleaning shit up.

At home I had a very large play house of my own as a little girl with a big doll house to match. Not from my mother but from one of the guys she dated. He was really amazing for building those two things for me. I was grateful that this guy (out of many many men she dated) even noticed my lonely existence. From age newborn to 5 I had no sibling to play with and no friends. My mother usually put me in the middle of the living room with toys and did her thing (what ever her thing was idk to this day.... I was too busy being imaginative in my own world in my head.) This wonderful man graced her life and felt sympathy for me. So I would come home and hang out the rest of the day in my very own neat organized play house.

Put this to real life perspective in a humorous way....

I might have been the fucking maid at school and neglected as a kid at home BUT I HAD A BAD ASS PLACE ALL MY OWN haha! Make me a maid - I got me a pad all my own, I did not have to share it with anyone! Take that Kindergarten!

I had an imaginary friend named Johnny. He was older than me and smelled like the river that ran behind our rented house. Yes he was wet, all the time, but never dripped water anywhere except outside near the bridge. Don't ask....

Anyway. During the time of the maid play crap at school; I did artwork. I would color on the huge pads of paper. I took advantage of the little book shelf littered with books and read every one of them. I'd get real bored and I screwed up by doing all the packets that were labelled with my name near the teachers desk. Oh she didn't like that because I went ahead and did all the work available for Kindergarten. It had my name on it and I was bored.... what did she expect?

Which reminds me; I was really good at reading and writing before the age of 3. I didn't talk until I was in Kindergarten - by choice. I didn't want to talk. I learned how to talk at age 1 and stopped at age 2 because I was traumatized by my cousins. So, I stopped talking and took up reading and writing. I was able to write paragraphs at age 4 and reading college books. No joke! Its not a bragging thing here. It was survival. I was alone, bored, and neglected by a parent.

In first grade I wrote a book for show and tell. It was called "Monsters". The rest of my Kindergarten year was artwork and going with the 5th graders to a reading circle while the other students did their packets LMAO! 5th graders were confused by my presence at first but then soon realized I was smart and began picking on me. So, in first grade I wrote my first story. MONSTERS. I even illustrated it with monsters. Okay, this didn't end well with the teacher all horrified about my well being and talking to my mom who beat the shit out of me when I got home. In first grade I ended up in the 7th graders reading circle as my 1st grade class mates did their reading circle. I was being influenced by the older kids who were picking on me.

I'm a parent today. I embrace and encourage my daughters decisions and goals. I even help her by purchasing whatever it is that she enjoys. She liked making music so I bought all sorts of crap so she can proceed with that. She likes painting and drawing so I bought art stuff of all kinds. Anything to reach whatever goal or dream she has; I support, encourage, and do with her.

Unlike my mother who beat the crap out of me for writing a book and freaking out the class. Funny thing is, she watched me write it and illustrate it at the dining room table. She kept calling me strange and weird but let me do it. Then beat the shit out of me ???? Thanks for the great support! What she should have done is redirect me, talk to me, and help me with it so it wouldn't be so shocking at Show and Tell. Thanks mom for your abuse, it was the best!

I kept writing. Any attention is great at this age, even if it was abusive attention. I wanted to become a writer. This was now my dream, my goal, my ultimate place in life. I would write books. I would read dictionaries and encyclopedias and all the research books that I can cram inside my big imaginative mind and make stories.

I was and still am continually sick (Marfan Syndrome). My mom did move around a lot. She had many boyfriends. Most of them never liked me because I was "weird". She invented a scenario of me that I was slow and retarded. This probably saved me from molestation since most of the assholes she dated were drug users and criminals and abusive and creepy. She claims today that she never did drugs but I'm well passed the age of naïve - if your friends and boyfriends are using YOU ARE TOO using with them. I was too involved with my lined paper and pencils and books to pay any attention to her bullshit life. I had bad grades except for my reading and English classes.

When we moved back to her childhood town; my play house was destroyed and my doll house ended up with my Aunt who hated little girls. I stopped school all together pretty much. I did good in 3rd grade but had 4th grade twice because the teacher of 4th grade could not stand that I was able to read and understand what her huge grading book was all about. Not sure if anyone out there knows what I am talking about - those huge grade books with all the answers and how to teach a class certain subjects in the book .... well, I read the whole thing and knew that she was doing it all wrong. WOW I got held back a year for being too smart for my own good. She told my mother that I was immature and needed more socially exceptional things in order to pass her stupid class.

She got a new teachers book the next year and locked it in her desk. She also had me sit in the far back so that I couldn't read the big teachers book while she instructed students. Oh lets not forget that she also took me out of college level reading and comprehension studies to Kindergarten reading and writing. Bitch. Like that was going to stop me from pursuing my dreams. I quite school. Basically slacked off anything she had to teach. 5th grade came and that teacher adored me. He let me read and write anything I wanted. The kids (my younger peers from my flunked grade) were jealous and tried everything to ruin my life. I hated them and they naturally hated me. I was in the library most the time during my second year of 4th grade and 5th grade. Read every book on the shelf and learned how to work the computer.

Fights every day after school during the second time around in 4th grade and 5th. I learned how to kick ass and give black eyes. I was bullied most my life so I learned how to fight back. I was even slapped around by a teacher! So, yep I think that kids should be able to fist fight. I think adults today should just go out and fight it out with boxing gloves. It does help. All this anti-bully crap has these kids today stupid soft to even the slightest gesture. OH HE TOUCHED ME! Yeah, he did touch you. At least he didn't fucking smack you around and call you curse words. Be thankful you little wimp!

My mother got married when I was in 5th grade to some wealthy asshole. He treated her like shit and me too. I was not allowed to have any books in my room and I couldn't have any paper or pens or pencils in there either. I had a television, black and white. No radios no desk no nothing. I had to get rid of my dolls. Basically; grow the fuck up. He molested me from day one until I was twenty.

Oh I tried leaving the home. A thousands times did I try to flee. I ran away all over the place. Now, normally a young teenager runs away to a friends house or to a boyfriend. I had neither. Sometimes one would run off to a relative. Yeah, I done fucked myself there too. My family hated me. Thanks to my mother, my grandma and grandpa - my aunts and uncles - my cousins - they believed whatever my mom had to say about me and most the time it was not good. She told them things like - I was a pathological liar, a thief, mentally retarded and rebellious, etc.... whatever she deemed good for her to keep me home. Crazy bitch.

I learned to be social all right. First place to run off to was San Francisco. I slept in the bus depot. I learned how to pan handle. I made friends with homeless and hung out with them learning life skills. You'd be surprised what life skills you learn from the homeless. Much respect for them out there! Sure I got sexually harassed maybe even sexually assaulted and raped. Shit happens and I learned from it. I learned to wear secure clothing and don't fucking flirt. Don't talk to everyone and keep to yourself. Discernment and gut feelings - yep I learned this. I learned to be alert and when it was okay to relax. I learned the value of life. I saw shit that would make one of these spoiled SJW people scream SATAN IS HERE lol! I see this bullshit today and just shake my head in shame about our society.

GROW UP AMERICA

My mom she would have people find me and drag my ass home. I wasn't doing drugs, I wasn't hoeing around and hooking it, I wasn't being a bad citizen in society. I'd always land a job and a place to stay out there. I gave good advice and was actually influencing good things to those around me. I was kind and caring and anyone who was helping me - in return - I helped them. But she would drag my ass back to her home with that molester. I signed up for modelling and that was short lived. I signed up for fashion design at an art school, paid my tuition and got dragged back home and had to drop out. She wanted me with her. Any boyfriend I had ended up sleeping with her or she'd tell them I'm retarded and they'd dump me immediately.

I ran so far away as to end up in New York. I ran off to Canada. I ran off to Mexico. No money. No car. Just a thumb for a ride and a backpack. She would find me and get someone to drag my ass back here to this county. I bought my first home in Oregon. Had to sell it after a year because she threatened me with her suicide attempt. Family blamed me for it and I wasn't even here!!!!! How can a person blame another if the other was not even around her depression. I never talked to her for a year. So she goes depressed to the point of suicide because I didn't talk to her and was living my 23 year old life out with a full time job, a newly bought house (not a rental), a car that was paid off and raising a kitten.

I was forced home by family members and threatened. I came back because my half brothers packed up my house with a moving van and had their wives beat the crap out of me. I wasn't going to come back. I had sell my house, my car, lost my job (worked in a craft store), and lost most of my belongings thanks to half brothers and their evil wives.

I rebelled as much as possible and became the monster they thought me to be OH YEAH! Started drinking, smoking weed, pill popping, partying, stole my moms car, and ran up the cell phone bill and any other bill she had to pay. Then I stole her money and spent it too! By this time I was 25/26 years old. I did try to run off a few other times but my half brothers would travel across the states and bring me right back to mother. She was divorced when I was 20 years old. My half brothers thought of me as a shit ass retarded girl. My mom began gender shaming me. I did end up gay for a while because she wanted a boy not a girl.

I'm super straight as they call it today. The gay thing was a phase. I can't keep a boyfriend ever or get married. My mom will scare them out of my life even today she does that shit. Oh and she moved in with me after I bought a trailer in the trailer park. The family tells me "She will be homeless if you kick her out so think about that when you decide to be nasty with her again. You will be blamed for her homelessness if you kick her out of your home!" OUCH!!!!!

Do I hate my mom? Yes.

I have many reasons to hate her. I learned to distance myself from any love and can walk away cold and shallow from any relationship. I have no heart for actual love now. Thanks to her I have learned this. Never get attached to anyone or anything. I can walk away from this life and not feel a thing for it. To me, it was a waste of time and energy. My existence is a total waste and time of energy.

Happy Mothers Day......

Actually; I love my daughter and her boyfriend. I have a motherly (my own kind of mommy) to her best friend and her boyfriend. They are my true family. If something happened to them I would be weeping and feeling pain over it. I had a half sister who was my best friend in my 20's who ended up as a best friend and I love her too. She passed away 3 years ago and I still cry over the loss of her. So not all is waste of time and energy. I did learn how to correctly love my little family despite what my mother has done to me. I still hate her. I live with her or rather she lives with me. Her sick joke is to tell people "My daughter and I are married" ..... No. Just no.

Someday I am going to publish my novels. Every one of them. I'm going to move away and have several places that only my little family knows about (my daughter, her best friend, and their boyfriends - because they seen first hand how my mother is) and I will build my mother a home of her own - a gift from me. But my homes are not anywhere near her home and no one can drag my ass to her house because after all - I gave her my life - 40+ years of it.

I just feel wasted away though. I missed out on all sorts of stuff that I am seeing with my daughter. I didn't want to live here in a trailer park. But when you have a mother or parent that leeches off you spiritually, mentally, and physically - your time and effort mean nothing. I had money but it was spent on her bullshit. Right now today she complains that she has no money blah blah - yet 6k sits in her bank account while I pay 300 dollars on bills and 850 dollars on rent with a 600 dollar paycheck. I'm in debt. She doesn't help and if I ask for her help she usually says "I don't have money to help you".

Typical.

I don't ask by the way. I know what comes out of her mouth with the HELP ME question. 6k in her bank though. She can pay bills for the next 3 months at least. Give me a breather. Or let me move in an ex boyfriend who wants to help me and is pissed off at her for digging me into further debt. She likes me suffering and struggling. If I am happy she gets all sorts of angry. No joke! She's 74 years old and still gets up in my mug if I even act on being happy.

So yep. I have vented it all out.

My plan; to own multiple escape area places and never tell her where I went. When she dies to collect the house I had built for her and leave joyfully and to never visit her graveside EVER!!!!!!!!

Happy Mothers Day!

[spookrm-blog]

The Last Jedi Rant (SPOILER WARNING)

Oh my... So...

I’ll admit it’s been a few hours since I left the theater, so I already am fuzzy on a few things, but there are criticisms I have of the movie, both plot and the actual filming.  Get ready, this’ll be a longish one and it’s kinda gonna go all over the place.  Bear with me.

OH!  And before I start tearing this thing apart, let me first say that the soundtrack was spectacular and fit the movie amazingly, and visually it was gorgeous.

SO FOR THE PLOT: Okay, so there were things I liked; I liked the first probably... ten minutes?  Space battle was good, but seriously, what was up with those bombers?  Their design was so flawed in so many ways, from the fact they were large and cumbersome to the fact they had to be directly over their target for them to be able to drop their payload.  Now, I’ll admit I’m basing my opinion off of Star Wars Battlefront II (2005) so it might not be entirely accurate, but Y-Wing bombers were much more maneuverable, had a rear gunner, and did NOT have to be directly over their target to perform their bombing runs.  I know the Resistance wasn’t exactly, you know, well stocked with a massive fleet and whatnot, but I feel like if they had X-Wings and A-Wings at their disposal, they should be able to get their hands on some Y-Wings.  OH YEAH, AND WHEN THEY WERE DROPPING THEIR PAYLOADS THEY HAD A FRICKIN’ REMOTE CONTROL BUTTON ON A HANDHELD REMOTE?  AND WHEN THEY OPENED THEIR BAY DOORS THE MEMBERS IN THE BAY WEREN’T CAUGHT IN A VACUUM AND SUCKED INTO SPACE??  Also, what happened to X-Wings having Proton Torpedoes...? All in all, if the Resistance is able to have X-Wings, A-Wings, the same sort of Medical Frigate, etc., then they should be able to have B-Wing Fighters.

Okay, continuing on.

So, Snoke’s ship was the one tracking the Resistance Fleet, right?  That’s the whole big thing?  Snoke’s ship wasn’t at the initial encounter, so how’d they get a lock on the ships in order to track them?  And it wasn’t even the first ship to catch up in the second encounter?  Seems a lil off to me.

I did like how Kylo Ren was flyin’ round, messin’ up the ships.  I liked how he blew up all the Resistance fighters.  I understood why he hesitated in destroying the bridge and his two fighters following him ended up doin’ it.  BUT HERE’S MY PROBLEM WITH THE LATTER:  LEIA SHOULD BE DEAD.  SHE HAS NOT BEEN TRAINED ENOUGH TO HAVE SOME SORT OF ABILITY TO CREATE A FORCE BUBBLE THAT WOULD SAVE HER FROM DEATH IN SPACE.  I mean, for starters, that bridge BLEW UP.  MASSIVE EXPLOSION!  How was she whole?  And how, again, did she get back into the ship without the doors opening causing a vacuum and sucking others into space? Also, we never knew that that was Admiral Ackbar on the bridge until they were like “Oh, we lost Ackbar”, and then he was never mentioned again!  That just seemed...  weird?  And back to the hangar exploding.  Flynn and Rose definitely able to find another ship so they could fly to the Casino place, right?  And their were like... visually, it looked to me kinda like 20ish smaller freighter ships somewhere in that ship?  So like, did they have NO OTHER FIGHTERS IN ANY OTHER HANGARS, ‘CAUSE THAT JUST SEEMS STUPID TACTICALLY!

Okay, so, another thing:  The TIMING of the whole movie was off.  So, ship gets attacked, has 18 hours of fuel left, right?  In the time of 18 hours, Flynn and Rose was able to fly all the way to another planet, spend time there, fly back, and then spend time on Snoke’s ship?  And then, other side of the spectrum, Rey spend DAYS on Luke’s planet.  I understand that I don’t know that planets night and day cycle, but for her to spend DAYS on that planet, and then fly all the way to Snoke’s ship within the ship’s 18 hour fuel limit?  No.   

SNOKE WAS SO RIDICULOUSLY STUPID!  He was worse than Palpatine, and I’m not talking in a “Oh, he was so much worse than Palpatine, he did so many horrible things” sort of way.  He was supposed to be this incredible villain, super powerful, right?  Yet he was less of threat realistically than Palpatine was.  I mean, compare the Snoke-Kylo-Rey situation to the Palpatine-Vader-Luke situation:  Palpatine ALMOST KILLED LUKE whereas we never saw Snoke do anything but sit.  His confidence in his invincibility and his trust in Kylo Ren’s loyalty was ridic.  Palpatine knew Vader would try to kill him one day to try and take his place and Snoke didn’t even seem to consider it a possibility.

Lightsaber Hilts do NOT explode and you cannot convince me otherwise.

How did BB-8 get into an ATST, which you have to enter from the top?

How did Rey get to Snoke’s Personal Escape ship and then to Falcon so fast?

I thought that there was a lot of hype because Phasma was going to have more of a role in this film, but I’m pretty sure she was in it for MAYBE the same amount of time as in The Force Awakens?  And I thought they were going to make the BB-9E more of an important droid, like maybe even Kylo Ren’s personal droid?  That droid was barely relevant in the slightest.

Did DJ make it off Snoke’s ship?  We never actually saw him leave.

Those ridic “speeders” the Resistance had?  Those were busted, converted B-Wings.  Why not have ACTUAL B-WINGS?  You know, actual fighters that could put up a fight?

How did Yoda, A FORCE GHOST, have the ability to produce a lightning storm that lit an ancient Jedi Location (which probably had some sort of Jedi protection on it (I mean, how else would it have been undetected by Palpatine, Vader, Snoke, Kylo Ren, etc. for all those years)).  And if he could do that, how could he not have helped Luke all those years ago with Vader and Palpatine?

And I can kind of believe Luke being able to Force Project himself across the galaxy, but only because he’s spend years and years alone, meditating, and he’s definitely the strongest person in the galaxy at that point in the force (though in that case, I feel like Jedi in the past should have been able to do this and we should have seen it before (again, like Yoda)).  But Rey and Kylo doin’ it?  No.  Even if Snoke took credit for doin’ it with them, it continued on after his death, and I doubt that either of them (at least not Rey) would have that sort of ability.

And if Admiral Holdo had a plan to save everybody, why then would she keep it a secret from like... everybody?  That helps absolutely no one strategically.

Rose went from like...  thinking of Flynn as a hero, then thinking he’s a traitor and a coward, then she suddenly trusts him again and basically skips friendship and goes straight into falling in love with him?  Not impossible, I guess, but seems strange.

That’s everything I can think of on the fly, but trust me, there’s more.  Only other thing I’m going to say is that if they try to kill of Leia off screen in the next movie, they’re gonna have a tough time of it, even if they try and just leave her clothes in a room and say she passed and became one with the force (which it seems like only incredibly gifted Jedi have been able to do (But apparently she’s awesome enough to save herself from an explosion and space, so who knows!)).

So, filming-wise:

They tried too hard.  I feel like they tried to fit way too much into one film, and it’s a film that took way much from Empire Strikes Back.  Trailers are saying “Best Star Wars movie since Empire Strikes Back”?  That’s because in so many ways it’s the meme of “Let me copy your work” and then shows a product that’s almost exactly like the first example.

Movie starts off with the evacuation of a Resistance Base.  They made changed it from the ships escaping with cover from an Ion Cannon on the planet, but it’s basically the same.  And they took the Ground Battle of Hoth and threw it into the last part of the movie (Which by the way, when they mentioned they had speeders at the base, I thought they were going to pull out some T-47 Airspeeders and was sorely disappointed by their B-Wing wannabes).  Rey’s “training” by Luke was done on a remote planet, where there was life and there was also a place incredibly made up by the Dark Side.  And Luke was just as reluctant to training her as Yoda was initially to train Luke.  

The Studio seems to be trying to show off “Hey, here are some new characters you’ll love alongside all of the original heroes that you fell in love with!” but how many scenes have they used Chewbacca, C-3PO, and R2-D2 in?  Chewbacca was literally in a scene eating, but otherwise he was literally just around to cart Rey around, R2-D2 was only around to convince Luke to train Rey (Won’t lie, I did like him pulling the old Leia hologram for Obi-Wan to convince Luke (Though, continuity-wise, the hologram didn’t move when his projector moved, so that bothered me)), and C-3PO was legit only there for people to yell at for comic relief.  OH!  And why’d they even have DJ in there?  They kept talkin’ ‘bout a Codebreaker that hung out in a Casino and I just kept thinking “Lando?  Is Lando Calrissian gonna show up?”.  They really missed an opportunity with that if they’re wanting to show off all the old actors reprising their old roles. 

Speaking of comic relief, there were too many attempts at throwing in cute and funny moments.  Parts of the banter between characters seemed more like Marvel’s Avengers than Star Wars.  They even threw a “your mom” joke in there.  And the Porgs?  They were adorable, I won’t lie, but they were added in literally to make the audience go “AWWWWWW”.  At least Ewoks had a role in Return of the Jedi.  

Do not get me started on how bad the Yoda looked and how corporeal he apparently was, despite being a Force Ghost.  Just don’t get me started...

Disney is, in my opinion, trying to milk the franchise, and they’re attempting to make their movies gigantic films that people will want to come and see because they’re huge and fantastic.  They’re forgetting that Star Wars was already huge.  Star Wars wan’t completely like huge movie franchises, like Marvel’s Avengers.  They’re trying to modernize them for the younger generation, which I understand, but in doing so they’re also turning it into something much different than it was.

[aceofwands]

it wants to give us the exciting parts and the emotional pay off without actually doing any of the work, is the best way I can think to explain it Ria hateblogs Discovery: Episode 7 “[Poorly Written Time Travel] Magic to Make[s] the Sanest [Wo]Man Go Mad”

liveblogged to @kendradaynes

we had entirely 'last time on Discovery' before the intro credits, like not even a teaser ...

kendradaynes... That's an unusual choice

aceofwands I thought so too!

it was just Mudd being left behind on the Klingon ship. probs cause Mudd is gonna show up (we saw in the teaser last week). seems an odd choice too, like it was only a couple episodes ago, we haven't forgotten what they did???

close up of Michael's face, giving a personal log

oh lord

already paused it to write an awful line of dialogue down: "despite my fears, I seem to have found my place on this discovery"

discovery of WHAT

the dialogue is so bad Shin, so bad

kendradaynes..... What? That is...That makes angsty teenage fic seem well written

aceofwands: she's talking about the ship's settled into routine ... which ... what? aren't they in the middle of a war?!!!!!!!!

and about how she's made a friend in Tilly, and how she's taken comfort in her work

and how "this ship has become the most important weapon in the Federation's arsenal"

and I can't even

it doesn't even feel like they're at war! the way they go around on this shiny ship and talk about how it's settled into routine?????? 

kendradaynes... I want to send them all of DS9 s7 and Voyager's Year of Hell 2 parter and maybe Enterprise season 3 to show WHY THAT WOULDN'T WORK

aceofwands: Stamet's wacky drive piloting ability has "Given him access not just to unseen parts of space but his personality as well" and like ... that's a worry! WHY IS NO ONE WORRIED ABOUT THIS

kendradaynes THAT IS NOT A GOOD THING GET THAT MAN TO A PSYCHOLOGIST

aceofwands I keep pausing this ONE PERSONAL LOG

she confesses she finds some members of the crew more interesting than others (lol what others, they feel even more like background characters than any of the other shows somehow???) and it's her talking to Voq-Tyler

(people online have been debating how it's too obvious that he's Voq, but I don't have any faith in these writers not doing the really fucking obvious)

"Lt Tyler has suffered so much and still maintains such dignity and kindness" I really really hope he actually is Voq like wow I want them to be this bad at writing (and nothing I've seen so far makes me think they're any good at it)

“I fear my personal history interferes with my ability to forge relationships. I am among the others yet also apart." I can't get over this, it's like bad self-insert fan fic (I'm not even 5 mins in lol, I'd better let her finish her stupid log and stop pausing it lol)

oh lord, she's facing one of her greatest challenges so far ... they're having a party

they're ... playing ... beer ... pong ... on Star Trek

this is like a gross noisy college frat party ... on Star Trek ...

why is Michael not wearing casual clothes ...

kendradaynes... #weneedtheorville

aceofwands Orville's party in Pria had more dignity??? which y'know, the show is full of dick jokes

oh it's okay though, Tyler is giving a speech

wait did he just point to a guy who's "sacrificed for us" who had some sort of disability? I went back - there's a guy sitting on what I think is supposed to be a futuristic wheelchair I guess?

how did we get from It's Only a Paper Moon to this?

kendradaynes There are also... Very few disabling things that can't be at least partially cured by the 23rd century

aceofwands yeeeeah my thoughts exactly. but it was unclear and part of a dramatic speech so

Tilly left Michael and Tyler alone together at the party, but they were asked to report to the bridge

I still don’t know why everyone loves Tilly ... she doesn't seem like a cadet, unless you count the AOS crew as cadets ... again, everyone's too 2017

ummmmmmm. so Michael and Tyler were walking along the corridor. when she bumped into Stamets and knocked a container of whatsits over. and he hugged her and asked why she's apologising for a random moment that makes life so gloriously unpredictable and WHY IS NO ONE CONCERNED FOR HIM

kendradaynes... That makes sense. He sounds high

aceofwands ohthe Doctor has just shown up in this conversation out of nowhere. "I deeply apologise for my partner, lately he's been acting ... different"

WHY ARE YOU HERE IN THIS RANDOM CORRIDOR DOC! YOU WEREN'T WALKING BESIDES STAMETS??? WHY DID YOU TURN UP JUST TO BE PART OF THIS CONVERSATION

(I keep pausing it, I'm only 7 mins in, I might uh ... stop pausing it and try to keep up lol)

kendradaynes There are so many plot holes in this show

aceofwands they made a cybernetic augment for his arm?? 

then they asked what the deal between Michael and Tyler is ... and I just ... why is this show ... so ... clumsy? there is no nuance, no subtlety, it’s like they have to hit us over the head with everything like MICHAEL AND TYLER LIKE EACH OTHER OKAY AUDIENCE, DO YOU GET IT?

kendradaynes Honestly it feels like 18 year old self-insert fanfiction

aceofwands cut to the bridge. Saru and Lorca found an unidentified signal ... its some sort of biological space organism

which Michael knows a lot about

kendradaynes Of course. Because she knows everything

aceofwands protocol requires them to take care of it, because it's endangered, which is nice because actual Star Trek things

and um what

kendradaynes I hate her, jsyk

aceofwands they just beamed it into the cargo bay???????????????????

IT LIVES IN SPACE

IN VACUUM

HOW WOULD IT SURVIVE IN ATMOSPHERE AND GRAVITY???

kendradaynes welp that thing would be dead

aceofwands OMG IT HAS A DEMOGORGON FACE 

 some dude in a helmet hitched a ride inside its mouth and used it to get on board

its killed a bunch of people, but Michael escaped

oh its Mudd, to no one's surprise

kendradaynes Of course. Because self insert

aceofwands "did you really think you could leave me in a Klingon prison and suffer no repercussions?"

what have they done to his character

good fucking grief

kendradaynes*sigh*

aceofwands he's come here to find out why the Discovery is special, and is talking about how he's gonna sell it to the Klingons, but "not this time". so Mudd's causing a time travel loop. exploding their ship. the Discovery is blowing up. but now it's back to the party

this sucks

usually I LOVE time loop episodes

they're usually so fun! but this show is boring and dumb

oh man ... if you're gonna repeat scenes ... THIS IS THE BEST YOU'VE GOT???? them walking along a corridor talking

OH LOL it's Stamets. he's the only one who recognises the time loop. and everyone thinks he's crazy! "I need all of you blasted people to start listening"

why is this episode not about Stamets talking to someone?

why wouldn’t they listen to him???

Michael's all "oooooh how did Stamets know what it was going to be???"

.....had to pause it. Michael requested being in charge of the operation. Lorca: "I don't give a damn, I just want it done". then Tyler requested being in charge for security. and Lorca: "I still don't give a damn"

this. is. not. Star. Trek.

seriously

when there was a time loop on Next Gen and they started realising they HELD A FUCKING STAFF MEETING! and they realised through the poker game, which was clever! and everything about that was more fun and impressive than this shit has been in the first 15 mins!

the spore drive just activated, and they're all like 'why is this happening?". but obvs Mudd's in engineering

Tyler and Michael are threatening him with phasers, but haven't shot him on sight. oh they finally did. but there was a forcefield. Mudd's trying to figure out how the drive works. 

Michael: "You are mad."

Mudd: "No, I'm Mudd."

WHY

I wish the idiots who wrote this garbage would get stuck in a time loop and forced to watch this awful episode over and over until they figured out how to stop it from being so bad

then he yelled at them to tell him how to work it AND STAMETS WAS BEHIND HIM AND SHOT HIM IN THE BACK. and said: "As days go, this was a weird one" which is hilarious

except that I'm not even 20 mins in and somehow bored?

how can they make time loops boring?

they keep saying different things???? in the scenes????

is it a time loop or isn't it?

do they know or don't they?

this doesn't make sense!

kendradaynes That's... not how a timeloop works. It only changes when they realise it

aceofwands yeah it's clearly trying to jump to the parts later on, cause Stamets implies that they've looped many times already. but instead - as usual - it just comes across as .. confused? muddled? like it's not really a time loop because they clearly know it's a loop enough to change what they say, but not enough to realise they're looping???

kendradaynes Yeah that's not how time loops are meant to work and I'm mildly vexed

aceofwands Mudd has got Lorca to come down with him "I really can't take it from the top again Lorca"

ummmm Mudd's talking about how he's explained this to Lorca before, but needs his help to access part of the ship ... if he's aware they're looping then ... why is he so bad at ... I don't even know .... [I stopped being able to explain everything wrong with this episode’s plot around this point]

this episode is a primer in How Not To Write Time Travel

Stamets is explaining how he thinks he's outside of the loop: "it's getting really hard to keep it straight" lol

he needs Michael to talk to Tyler but they're about to loop, and Stamets wants her to tell him something so she'll trust him straight away next loop. and she did??? and he made a sad face and said he was sorry

don't make me have feelings with your decent acting Anthony Rapp

but also do they not have protocols for time travel or like anything else to share???

"now is usually around the time he kills the Captain" - can we stay in that when we fix the loop lol

"you kill a Starfleet captain they lock you up for ever" ummm do they really

LOL WE'RE GETTING ALL THE LOOPS WHERE MUDD KILLS LORCA AND IT'S ACTUALLY REALLY SATISFYING WATCHING HIM DIE

HE'S EATING A SANDWICH AND HAD LORCA BEAMED TO SPACE

53 TIMES LOL

AHAHAHAHAHAHHAA

OKAY

ACTUALLY HILARIOUS PART

loop back to the party: Michael and Tilly talking. Stamets appears, taps Tilly, "I just spotted the hottest guy over there and apparently, he's in a band! Have fun!" (she was explaining earlier how she used to be into soldiers but is lately into musicians, cause that's what passes for character development on this awful show)

genuinely made me laugh

Michael's secret is that she's never been in love ... which we knew from the way she acted earlier in the episode??? not even a secret

HIS DIALOGUE IS DIFFERENT

THIS ISN'T HOW TIME LOOPS WORK

oh that was enough for Stamets to prove he was telling the truth ... and she now has to talk to Tyler about mudd?? idk it's super unclear why this is happening or what they're hoping to achieve ?????

honestly this episode is a terrible muddled mess

...................had to pause it again

to explain this scene

I'm leaving out so much and you're probably confused (I'm watching it and I'm confused)

she blew her chance to talk to Tyler because she likes him, which Stamets points out, and she says she's out of her element, so he says 'dance with me, for science, so I can see what I'm working with ... 'and like .... helping Michael talk to the guy she likes .... .... so they can save the ship from a time loop ... is the worst idea for a Star Trek episode I've ever heard. and I've watched Threshold

stupid space lizards make more sense than this plot

she's wondering how people make connections

and Stamets is explaining how Dr Culber and he got together

because the Doc was humming terrible opera

I ... I ... this

I can't Shin

you'll have to watch this dumb show with me if you want to make sense of it

I have to go back and attempt

no I'll just type out this conversation

see if it makes any sense to you

kendradaynes This sounds like it's impossible to make sense of even while watching

aceofwands 

"Hugh and I fell in love after I told him to get lost." 

"That doesn't make any sense." 

"Love isn't logical." (they're slow dancing while this happens) 

"I was in a wonderful cafe on Alpha Centauri when three seats down comes this hideous humming. Have you ever heard someone try to hum Casselian opera?" 

"I can't say that I have." 

"Well I told him to stifle it or sit somewhere else. Instead, he sat right next to me. And he's been there ever since." [Michael looks as confused as I am] 

"After such a rude exchange. Why would he do that?"  

"I told him how I really felt. And he did the same. And we liked that about each other." 

"I'm good at honesty." 

"Never hide who you really are. That's the way relationships work."

... ............... I have no words for how little this scene makes sense. that is not how relationships work???? that is a terrible way for them to get together???? and most importantly WHY ARE THEY SLOW DANCING (hint because they realised having them stand around the corridors was fucking boring probably)

kendradaynes THAT IS NOT HOW RELATIONSHIPS WORK

aceofwands I KNOW RIGHT

THEY'RE OUT OF TIME ALREADY? NO WAY IT HAS BEEN HALF AN HOUR

lol Michael is pulling Tyler away to dance in this time loop, the lighting is very purple with lots of close ups of their hands on each other

had to pause it again I am dying of bad laughter at the nonsense

they're dancing and it's kinda sweet and they've got an almost hint at a sexy vibe .... and then Burnham goes "So I hear you were locked up in a Klingon prison cell with Harry Mudd"

whyyyy are they not having a staff meeting about this?

I mean I know Lorca is a jerk and all. but this approach makes ZERO SENSE! she's telling him the whole truth, while they dance ... Stamets is watching and looking bemused .... 

Tyler is like "why would he think I'd trust you?"

"Because I like you. And he thinks you like me too."

and he's like 'oh ... tonight's gotten weird but also very interesting'

WHY DO NONE OF THEM ACT LIKE REAL PEOPLE?

like ... how is it that Shakespearean, larger than life characters in previous series somehow feel more real and genuine????? these people just SOUND LIKE THEY'RE IN A TV SHOW????? like it sounds like TV dialogue!

I can't explain it

"if time really is repeating, this won't matter" and he kisses her. of course. 

maybe less dancing more saving the ship?

they're talking while dancing "he used to brag about robbing a Betazoid bank" 

!"a non equilibrial matter state" - a time crystal, which she learned about at the Vulcan science academy. which they haven't been able to perfect, but a 4 dimensional being must have perfected it, according to Burnham

good thing she knew all of this ??????????

IT'S SO BADLY WRITTEN SHIN

WHAT THE FUCK

there's no figuring anything out!

they just already know!!!!!! 

cut back to the bridge, wondering where Michael and Tyler are. Mudd appears, playing music

hahahahaha the computer addressed him as Captain Mudd: "I never thought I'd say this, but I'm actually tired of gloating"

he's found a weaponised dark matter ball in Lorca's stash of dangerous shit. and he's blabbing on about it "and if any of you were planning on being heroes - including you, random communications officer man" LOL (the guy just ran up to try to stop him) "you'll find there's very little I don't know."

Tyler and Michael burst out onto the bridge for some reason ????

tried to shoot Mudd, the forcefield is still there ... he chucked the dark matter at Tyler .... who dissolved .... 

Mudd: "well that was new"

why would they listen to him? Michael you KNOW IT'S A TIME LOOP

STAMETS WHAT ARE YOU DOING

WHAT

THE

FUCK

he told him to stop, because he can't watch Mudd kill any more people

I PAUSED IT UNTIL I STOPPED FEELING CONFUSED BUT I DON'T THINK I WILL EVER STOP BEING CONFUSED

why

would

he

tell

Mudd

what kind of plan .... 

why did ....

why

why

why

kendradaynes Is your brain broken?

aceofwands yes

Stamets gave himself to Mudd????? even though he knew it was a time loop?why would he do that?

Michael has figured out the space whale has a ship in its belly .... with Mudd's crystal energy source in it ..... 

how .... does Michael know about Stella ???? I can't explain this episode to you any more Shin ... you'd have to watch this nonsense for yourself

she has come to sacrifice herself .... because the Klingons want her more than the ship

"you'll get a lot for this ship, but what would I be worth to them?"

"what's in it for you?" "Lt Tyler" "Lt Tyler is dead" "Not for long" ... and then she ATE A DARK MATTER BALL .... to force him to reset the timeline .... 

NO

NO NO NO NO

HOW DOES STAMETS KNOW

WE DIDN'T SEE HIM AGAIN AFTER HE WENT OFF WITH MUDD

SO HOW DID HE KNOW TO TELL MICHAEL HER OWN PLAN

or are we supposed to believe she remembers?

this episode MAKES NO SENSE

has Stamets finally told the Captain? why is he on the bridge

yes ... she did tell them .... everyone there knows and Mudd's confused

Lorca greeted him "Captain Mudd, your chair" - offers his chair

he realised Stamets was "passing on notes"

"don't try to con a con man" "I'm not, I'm negotiating with a business man"

"why would a Federation Captain do that?" "I will not have a repeat of the Boran [sp?] [his past ship]"

this episode is complete rubbish

he's leading Michael and Stamets off to the transporter room to meet the Klingons

lol Stamets has found out about his wife Stella. they found out he's been running from Stella, not to her lol

this episode would have been clever if the time loop wasn't so poorly done!

they rewired the captain's chair to send the message to Stella and her father .... who's come to get him lol

why ... why are they even doing this? they're so obsessed with making a new Star Trek series, why keep bringing in old characters for no reason?

Michael and Tyler waiting for a turbolift, Stamets told them both that in a previous timeline they danced .... they're super awkward

OH LORD

"What I'm feeling is complicated, and strange" "It's okay, I'm not going anywhere”

STOP TELLING US YOUR FEELINGS MICHAEL

I actually think they're really cute? I would usually like so many of these characters! but wow the plots are so. bad.

and it's so clumsy!

holy crap that was bad

oh lord, Saru in the next ep, they're on a planet, there are Klingons and the Admrial being tortured

wow. that's over. and took me ages to watch because I had to stop it so often lol

I have watched a lot of time travel episodes in my decades as a Trekkie (and on other sci fi shows) and that has got to be worst I’ve ever seen! It was SO confusingly done!

they just have no internal consistency!

you have Mudd getting revenge and Stamets working against him ... really really poorly ... 

and all of their solutions to the problems just made no sense???

Stamets giving himself up to Mudd???

and then the final solution of them all working together ... it wasn't like in the Next Gen episode I keep thinking of, where they eventually realise they're looping and find the message in Data and it feels like they worked together to solve it

it feels like this show ... cuts corners

it wants to give us the exciting parts and the emotional pay off without actually doing any of the work, is the best way I can think to explain it

it was ... choppy and confused

that sums the show up to be honest.

they went on and on about how they’re telling a big serialised story, but it isn’t even? we’ve had these weird interlude episodes with Sarek and now Mudd where stuff just happens just because? and they keep TELLING us they’re fighting a war but it doesn’t feel like they’re in one! 

if they’re going to do serialised season long arcs then they need to do way way better, like I just binge watched 9 episodes of Stranger Things yesterday! I know what a good serial narrative looks like and this is not it!

and if they’re going to do episodic then they need to do way way better

the plot of this was just confused nonsense that was weirdly focused around Michael and Tyler’s relationship more than anything else ... it just feels like they’re mashing a bunch of random rubbish together and hoping it works, rather than like a carefully crafted story on either an episodic OR a serial level!

and now I’m just thinking about how much I want to go watch some fun time loop episodes - like man, give me SG1 stuck in a time loop doing stupid shit any day, at least that was fun AND made sense

[howtohero]

#004 Costumes

No superheroic image is complete without an iconic super suit, something that’ll cut a real dynamic silhouette for sunset photographs, something snappy that the costume industry can capitalize on. After your name your costume is the most recognizable thing about you. Unless you happen to posses the power to turn into a fifty-foot neon green gorilla. Then that will invariably be the most recognizable thing about you. You can probably just skip this entry then. For everyone else though! Costumes are a classic staple of superhero life, and, if you don’t have a costume, you’re just some person punching other people, and that’s illegal. The costume makes it less illegal. For some reason. People are just more comfortable with it. Plus it gives the criminals you fight the ability to put “super villain” down on their resumes, and you tell me that doesn’t sound mad appealing.

As far as color schemes go, some superheroes choose to stick a color in their codename and then follow suit (ha! puns!) by making that the predominant color in their costume. Others try to base their color schemes off of their powers or skill-sets. That’s fine if you’ve got like orange energy beams or the power to turn anything blue (but it’s only that distinct shade of blue that Windows uses for their error screens, you know that one that everyone hates) picking a color is easy then. But how are you gonna match your costume color to your powers if you’ve got something boring like super strength, or I dunno, flight. At that point you’re going to have to make up your own color scheme. It’s important to remember that while having a bright eye-catching super suit might look good for image and publicity purposes, you need to be conscious of the fact that bright colors make you highly visible, and an easier target. If you plan on fighting crime at night, black and gray is definitely the way to go when picking out a color palette. Not only does it provide great camouflage, especially in urban settings (or in space!) but it’s also quite trendy and stylish!… And scary. Just think of the chic and fearsome image you’ll have. If you insist on going out to fight crime during the day, and you aren’t bulletproof, I’d suggest a dark crimson. Either way your costume’ll probably end up that color. If a criminal is committing a high profile crime during the day, chances are they won’t think twice about shooting some wannabe superhero. One color you should never ever use as the main color in your costume is white, unless you have a bunch of suits and this just your “arctic camo snowblast” variant. Y’know, for all the crimes you’re being called upon to fight in Antarctica. If you’re being a superhero your costume’s going to get dirty. You (yes, you specifically, I see you) need to accept that. A white costume is just going to be super annoying to properly clean, so unless you have super-laundry powers, stay away from that.

Many superheroes feel it necessary to cover, or otherwise hide their face when they fight crime. I would definitely recommend this as well; concealing your identity is often vital to protecting yourself and the people closest to you. If you opt to wear a mask, do not use one of those ridiculous domino masks that only cover the small area around your eyes and the bridge of your nose. Those are not the most readily identifiable parts of your face. That is not a good disguise. Plus unless you’re sticking the thing to your face with some kind of industrial strength super-adhesive (or a staple gun,) it’s going to be ridiculously easy for your enemies to pull your mask out of position and obscure your vision. A cowl that covers the entire top of half of your head is only marginally better. Sure it covers more of your face and hair but it still leaves a lot exposed, especially if you have a very prominent lower half of your face. Or a chin tattoo, a cowl’s no good if you have a chin tattoo. What I suggest is some kind of ski mask or perhaps a balaclava, something that will cover your entire face. This form of mask is definitely the most protective of your identity but, for this very same reason, it is also very popular amongst the criminal population. This leaves you at risk of showing up to foil a crime clad in the exact same outfit as your criminal adversary, and that’s just embarrassing.

A helmet is a good way to both protect your identity and your fragile human skull. You just need to take proper precautions to make sure your visibility isn’t impaired, and that the helmet isn’t too heavy. How embarrassing would it be to have to walk into an emergency room with a broken neck because your stupid helmet was too heavy for you to actually wear while engaging in superheroic fisticuffs. You also need to make sure that your helmet isn’t too overly decorated or stylized with multiple protrusions and ornaments. While fake antennae (or, real, but functionless antennae) or an external speaker system might look cool or even intimidating, overly grandiose headwear can very quickly prove to be more of a hassle than it’s worth. Not only would your cup-holders and periscope constantly be knocking into things and giving you trouble when you try to walk through narrow doorways, they’d also give your enemies something to grab onto. You never want to leave your enemies something to grab onto. Plus, every time you try to put the helmet on or take it off you run the risk of cutting yourself, all because you thought Viking helmet horns would really tie your whole look together.

Capes are another staple of the classic superhero costume. They’re also incredibly inconvenient and functionally useless. Like we just covered not giving your enemies something to grab onto during a fight. Plus they get caught in everything. Literally everything, doors, escalators, folding chairs, dog’s mouths, vacuum cleaners. Especially doors though, and the last place you’d want to be when you’re being held at gunpoint is caught in a door. That’s just simple scientific fact. Ah but capes look so cool you say? They make you look hella dashing as you soar through the sky? Well how cool is it when your stupid-face bad guys keep stepping on the hems of the glorified blankies and prevent you from moving???? How cool is it when you yourself trip over the actual table cloth you’re wearing when you’re trying to stop terrorists from terrorizing?????Say no to capes kids, you’ll thank me later.

Many superheroes like to paste pictures of their favorite animals or weather phenomena or some other icon on their chests. It’s their way of adding some creative flair to their costumes and making a recognizable, iconic symbol for themselves. Having your own insignia is fine, but just like spray paint it onto the sides of buildings you’ve just saved or stamp it onto the foreheads of people you’ve rescued, don’t slap it on your chest. It’s just a really stupid thing to do. In practice you’re essentially just drawing a brightly covered target over your vital organs, so don’t do that.

In terms of footwear you’re going to want to wear something that is both comfortable and practical. Maybe go for some custom-made combat boots that’ll provide you with traction but also be comfortable to wear for long periods of strenuous activity. You also shouldn’t wear anything with shoelaces, you’re not going to have time to tie your shoe before or during a fight and you can’t be fighting bad guys with an untied shoe, that’s dangerous! Even more dangerous than going out and picking fights with criminals generally is! 

Once you establish yourself as a big name hero it’s very likely that some bright-eyed scientist/fashion designer will offer to design a practical and stylish costume for you. But until then if you follow the advice I’ve outlined here you should be able to fight crime without worrying about exposing your identity or allowing your enemies to use your own costume against you. Unless you follow it wrong, then that’s on you. I can’t be held responsible for you following my instructions incorrectly [note: we also cannot be held responsible for you following the advice here exactly correctly to the letter]