#ofc they could have just fallen out of fandoms and writing

[heartstringsduet]

Do you ever wonder about fandom writers who haven't posted in years? I seriously ache imagining something happened to them.

[ruiniel]

HIIIII! i've been reading a bit through your blog and i've liked it a lot, the way you write for alucard is very sweet and i haven't seen much of him x male reader so could i make a request?

in my mind reader helped alucard along with trevor and sypha, but reader is a magical creature that lives within the forest and takes care of alucard from afar after sypha and trevor left so it was only just the two of them even after the events with taka and sumi. this is just for little context.

so, reader is pretty much very in love with alucard and is always to his disposition, but when greta arrives and starts to notice how happy he looks with her, reader starts to question if he's even good enough for alucard so even if he's at alucard's disposition he starts to drift away thinking that alucard may be better off with greta. that until alucard finds him again and formalize ofc 🥰

thanks for reading allat and if you're not interested feel free to ignore it, bye bye!

Thank you for the prompt, here's a little scene. I took a pre-poly relationship approach here...

For each other

Fandom: Castlevania series (2017-2021) | Pairing: Alucard x male reader | Rating: T Count: 2K | Tags: self-deprecation, pining, angst, feels

A late, sunny afternoon. There is no one but the two of them in the large kitchen: Alucard has her pinned against a counter, his gaze dropping from her warm brown eyes to her lips, leaning close enough to taste—

They break apart at the sound of something thudding onto a hard surface. Alucard turns his head, eyes still glazed and heartbeat soaring from their kiss. He blinks owlishly at the sight of you unleashing a hoard of crab apples on the table.

You’d been gone for some time, and now meticulously catch the escaped apples and gather them back into the large wicker basket, all the while doing a great job of not looking at Greta or Alucard, staring at you. “Don’t stop on my account,” you murmur, leaning over to catch an apple about to roll off the table.

“...?” Greta untangles herself from Alucard’s arms, half-turning.

“Found plenty of these in a glade not far from here,” you say as you arrange the fruit. “Fallen from the trees, just there to rot if nobody uses them. Who would have thought?” You turn away, taking an apple and avoiding their eyes as you make to leave.

Greta calls your name. “Wait,” she tries again, taking a step forward, but Alucard’s hold is tight on her wrist.

As the door shuts behind you, Greta moves to go after you, anyway; Alucard holds her fast. “Perhaps…” he says, turning her gently to face him, “Let me speak to him, this time.”

Greta nods. There are many things to speak of indeed, things long overdue. Knowing what happened and all you’ve been through together until this point, it might be best for Alucard to reach you first. Her fingers graze the side of his face. “Bring him back.”

When the door is closed, you stare at the stone walls of the corridor, your gaze traveling up, up, up, to the high ceiling. Your ears are ringing. There comes a need to be anywhere but here. 

Your body takes initiative before your mind does and then you’re pacing through castle halls, away, away, through tall grass, through dust and dirt until you find yourself…

“I’ll never escape this, will I?” you speak, gazing up absently at the remains of the Belmont Manor. You’re not even sure how you got here but take a deep breath, head tipping up to the sky.

So what? This is a good thing, right? Alucard being less miserable is a good thing. Greta having him is a good thing, and they need more Good Things in their lives. You want their happiness, would kill to see either of them pleased and living out their best days, such as they are. It’s all win-win here.

Then why the moping?

They don’t owe you anything. She doesn’t, Alucard doesn’t. Could you be such a supremely conceited dumbass that you actually thought needing them and being there meant you deserved to be a part of…

They’re your friends, your companions, the only people who ever cared. They’re your only friends, comes that voice within. So what, you love them no less.

You open your eyes, frowning at the clouds as though seeing daylight for the first time in your life.

You... love them.

Both.

You walk the broken grounds, through what used to be antechambers, through what used to be a dining room.

Breathe. Breathe, you idiot.

Fact is, one doesn’t always get what one wants — in your case almost never, which is just the bare truth and not you feeling sorry for yourself.

Well, you are, but that doesn’t make it less true.

Again, so what? So what, so what—the two words churn in your mind, an endless storm stealing your breaths without remorse. You drag both hands over your face. You’ve been out of it for too long, until you’ve stumbled upon Alucard, never lingered on what it entails, but now you know, now you see.

So, then, this must be jealousy. Feels great. Not only does God hate you, God placed a price on your head and sent their rabid revenge hounds with devotion and tenderness and lust crushed between their teeth, smashing inadequacy and resentment together in merciless jaws before biting into your face.

Someone calls your name.

You start, the breaths freezing in your chest. Great. You sigh. “You really have to stop creeping up on people like that.” Can you do this now?

“I’m sorry,” Alucard says, then just. Stands there.

Oh, no. You can’t do this now. You kick the dirt. “What is it, Alucard?” If you felt miserable before, now guilt and shame joined in and are having a day of it.

“It’s Alucard, now?” he asks softly, and you shake your head, avoiding his eyes. You’d slipped into calling him ‘Adrian’ not long ago. “Either way, I was hoping you could tell me,” he continues.

“Look, I’m just out here... for some time to think...”

“... which was so urgent a need, you had to rush out without looking back, despite Greta calling your name.”

You discover: when you’re hurting after someone, it only hurts more if they ridicule you. “Your point?” you pinch your brows, trying very hard not to lash out, not to be an asshole, because Alucard... Adrian doesn’t deserve it.

Alucard tilts his head to one side, takes another few steps, then sits down on the ruins—and doesn’t catch fire, a childish part of you thinks. “I know things between us have always been,” he looks you in the eye, “complicated.”

“Understatement of the century,” you stare up at the broken clock tower. “We’re going back to me asking about your point.” Your heart beats faster, and you know he can sense it.

Alucard watches you closely, kindly. His lips part. “You were there for me when I needed you. When I didn’t even know… what I needed.”

“... we did that for each other,” you mutter. “Alucard, really, you can stop this. I’m not a total idiot. You two are together, that’s great. You’ve been through so much, you deserve some peace of mind,” you say, even as Alucard rises and nears you. “And hell knows Greta deserves it, now would you please, please, leave it?” If you didn’t know any better, you’d say you’re begging. You never begged in your life, not even when you were held down at knife point, helpless and with your powers snuffed by magic. But now you’re compelled to because, because…

“I only want to remind you,” Alucard follows, looking at you, “that you once told me I wasn’t alone.”

Your eyes widen for a moment. You look away, unable to keep the misery from your voice. “Why are you going back there?” 

“Why are you running away?” He is close enough that you’re unable to move. “I am also at fault. I’ve been absorbed by my loss that I failed to see you.”

“You still mourn your family, which is a grand pass in my book. Look,” you stare at Alucard’s genuinely curious expression. “I… you need the time. Take it.”

“You care so much about what I need?” His face is honest as he meets your eyes. 

“Does that surprise you?” you ask, crawling beneath your facade, which you get the feeling falls short before Alucard now, anyway.

“I need you.”

You’ve never been the violent sort, unless someone threatened what you cherished. But now you want to punch him, because this… the implication is a joke beyond your wildest dreams, the ones that wake you up in a sweat with your pulse in a rush, where golden eyes turn red, with hot breaths in your ear and you can still taste—“Don’t.”

“I do,” Alucard looks up at the broken tower, then back at you. “And I nearly waited too long.”

He comes closer, a hand on your shoulder. You stare at it, then at Alucard, and you absolutely loathe your body in this moment, for all it wants is closer. “You’re with Greta.”

Stupid, stupid, stupid.

Alucard’s eyes narrow. “Yes, you remembered Greta, gods willing.” His face becomes colder, but his eyes are pleading something you can’t understand. “I love her.”

“I’m … glad for you,” you say, falling apart.

Alucard shakes his head. “I love her, and she worried herself sick over you, stood by you for days and nights, tending to you when you were wounded. She can’t bear the thought of you leaving here, wanted to run after you just now and ask what happened because she can’t stand to always see you unhappy. Do you see a pattern?”

“I just… I care about her very much, as you likely have guessed,” you mumble, “all I want is for her to be happy. For… for you to be… .”

“Then don’t run,” Alucard says. “Not from her, not from me.”

“I never run.”

“Then don’t.”

“I just said—nevermind,” you mutter with a smile, spent and needy and you would just…

“Come back inside,” Alucard urges softly, running those long, nervous fingers along your scalp, forehead pressed to yours.

You shudder, would purr like a shameless cat if scraps of your dignity weren’t in the way. “... fine,” you murmur, lips curving upward against your will, fears dispersing like shadows chased by the coming dawn. 

Alucard’s hand cups your head again, but now it’s different; there’s hunger in the touch. You lean forward, helpless. Defeated. Aching.

You’re caught in an embrace, like the Inevitable wrapping itself around you and heaven or hell help you. There’s no escape, for you lack the will to fight this, then wonder why you would—isn’t this what… what you wanted? Didn’t you gut yourself over precisely this, wasting nights away, mind on Alucard and what you share and what you feel, what it would be like, to be close to him… to them? 

“You make everything so difficult for me all the time, you know that?” you say with Alucard… Adrian’s breath on your lips.

“I believe I’m actually making it easy.” He’s smiling, pointedly.

You draw back a little and Alucard follows, eyes closed, lips slightly parted. “Are you sure—”

“Are you really going to question me kissing you now?” he admonishes fondly and noses at your cheek, upper lip curling like it does when he’s annoyed.

“Fair,” you admit defeat, and with that, tilt your head just enough; feel Alucard’s soft lips between your teeth, Alucard’s tongue curling around yours, his taste and you’re grabbing onto the collar of his coat with both hands—more to keep yourself upright, in all honesty—remembering everything: the tingling, slow, hard pressure of Alucard’s mouth, the weakness in your knees and the flare burning low in your body. It’s just as… no, it’s even better than you thought, not as desperate but closer, softer, deeper. You can only liken it to drowning on air, on want, on taste and the sweet-heady scent of skin.

When you tug with abandon at his lip, Alucard brings you to his chest, a foot wedged between yours, hands ordering your hips flush together. All you can think of is how you shouldn’t be enjoying the manhandling as much but you desperately do, and would like more but this is too good a dream to switch for gratification now, too eager to feel him and your unspoken needs weaved together like bonds.

You release the collar of Alucard’s coat, thumbs drifting along his jaw, the determined, hard lines and smooth skin, the way his nose bumps into your cheek as you kiss, the way your own body runs hot and melds with his rising heat.

“Am I dead?” you ask, breathless when you slowly break apart. You stare at Alucard with a self-deprecating smile, the longing bare on your face, panting once, twice, only for Alucard to kiss you again.

You give up and hug him tighter, hands roaming and clutching at him, drifting down to his waist as Alucard twists with you and presses forward until your back meets the nearest wall.

“Wait... weren’t we... going inside?” you pant, looking beyond his shoulder. People are still walking to and fro, though for now you’ve been reasonably sheltered from any curious eyes.

“Right... yes... of course,” Alucard answers in much the same way. He wastes not a moment in dragging you after him, his arm tight around your waist.

[hah-studios]

For the kiss meme, maybe 13? I'll be honest, I'm super forgetful w/ urls lmao and I'm not sure which (if any) fandoms we share, so dealers choice on that front (if you want ofc)

...13 discreetly (writing prompts ask list)

(since I got my pick I chose my newest ship: Kay Vess x ND-5 from the Star Wars Outlaws game. I wanna do more stuff with them so I thought this would be a good first step)

The stars seemed still as the Trailblazer lazily made its way across the galaxy. Destination…whatever struck their fancy.

‘Their’ being the three passengers of the star ship. Slicer extraordinaire Kay Vess, her loyal and dependable pet, Nix, and her co-pilot the BX droid ND-5.

He was idly walking around the ship, with the Trailblazer on autopilot and no space mafia hunting them down, he was allowed to relax. He was not used to relaxing. Even before he worked under Jaylen he had always been busy.

Kay had no problem relaxing, the human woman had fallen asleep at the wheel, a very unproffesional thing for a pilot to do, a fact he’d inform her about when she woke up. Her arms were crossed on the console making a pillow for her head. Sprawled across her legs was Nix, the merqaal’s tongue hanging from his open mouth.

ND-5 had turned his optics away from the stars ahead and to the human sitting beside him. She was snoring softly. And in that moment she looked as vulnerable and helpless as he had assumed when they first met, when he thought she’d be a hassle he’d have to eventually get rid of.

Oh how wrong his calculations had been…this snarky girl had saved him. He was only an old droid, he could be replaced, he knew that, Jaylen knew that…But Kay, she knew yet she hadn’t cared. She made the effort to fix him when he started to malfunction, even more amazing she had risked her life to remove his restraining bolt…to set him free.

ND rose from his seat and walked to the back of the ship. The memory of that day always left him feeling torn. He hated to think how he had hurt her, even though it was Jaylen pulling the strings. He remembered the terror coursing through his circuits as he chased her down under Jaylen’s orders. He had begged her to run, knowing he’d kill her once he caught her.

But he couldn’t forget the burst of surprise and joy he felt when Kay revealed she had come after him, had risked her safety just to save him. She had never given up on him. He cherished the relief that pumped through his wiring when the restraining bolt was gone. He was a free droid. A free droid, and Kay’s friend.

Partner, she had referred to him to the bounty hunter, Vail. They would stick together, they would enjoy the newfound freedom together.

ND reached Kay’s cot and pulled the blanket off, bringing it back to the cockpit to drape over her shoulders. After a moment of studying he picked up an edge of the blanket to carefully place it over Nix’s exposed belly. His hand brushed against Kay’s stomach as he did so, and he felt her skin jump at the contact but she didn’t stir.

He pulled away, maybe more quickly than needed, but kept his feet rooted to the floor.

As he watched her breath he felt the affection that seemed to want to reset his programming. While he could admit he had slowly found the girl endearing as they worked together, his fondness had started when she had gone out of her way to fix him. As humiliated as he had felt, as much as he thought it was pointless, as scared as he had been, he couldn’t help but be touched that she had grown to value him as a friend. That tenderness cemented himself when his programming had been fixed and an uncontrollable flex of his arm had brought her to the floor. Yet she hadn’t held it against him…..

I don’t know what’ll happen if I let my programming be reset. And it was probably best if he didn’t find out. But he wanted to show his loyalty, his gratitude, his sense of comradery. And through his many years of being online he saw many ways organic beings expressed such sentiments. All things he wouldn’t dare do with Kay, she’d tease him mercilessly.

But…there was one thing…and as long as she was asleep. And a part of him was morbidly curious, it wouldn’t hurt anything, this was just for him.

Carefully, not wanting his joints to creak, he leaned down and let his mouth vent brush her hair. It was dusty and a little ragged, she could use a good bath.

He pulled away from his droid-equivalent of a kiss and sat back down. When Kay woke up he would keep this a secret. He didn’t like keeping secrets from her after everything they been through. But this secret would only embarrass the both of them, he could chalk it up to a momentary glitch in his programming.

He could be discreet about it.

[nimbusghoul]

Hi there ! Can I request a fluff "Scary Movie Night" with Secondo? Thank you ! <3

ofc luv!💚 I love me some old man fluff

Fandom : Ghost BC/The Band Ghost

Word Count:

Type: Fluff💚

Prompt A - Secondo Emeritus/Papa Emeritus II

Scary Movie Night with Secondo💚

Secondo was someone who would never admit that he enjoyed you coming to him for protection or comfort, but it gave him a small boost of reassurance that you needed him, which he enjoyed.

So naturally when you asked him to cuddle up and watch horror movies, how could he say no?

“What would you like to watch first, Tesoro?” He asked, flipping through the horror genre on the TV.

“I kinda wanna start with a classic slasher film, maybe Scream or Halloween?” you said, sitting down next to him with the snacks and drinks you had bought earlier.

“Ah, Which one are you more partial to, Dolcezza?” He asked, turning to you as you handed him a drink, which he took with a small “thank you.” You thought about it for a minute, sure, Halloween was more classic, but Scream has Drew Berrymore!

“Let’s watch Scream.” You said, shifting a bit in your seat, trying to get comfortable so if you became tense it wouldn’t be painful, you hoped maybe this movie wouldn’t have too many moments where you’d jump? but you knew deep down that that’s what you wanted, to be able to cuddle up to your Papa and find comfort in him.

Secondo then turned to the TV, and turned on Scream, the first of many.

The beginning scene wasn’t horribly scary, that is, until there was a loud window breaking and your flight instincts kicked in, quickly laying down on his chest and shoving your face into his shirt, getting a small chuckle out of him

“Too much for you, Tesoro?”

“Nuh uh, no way, just caught me off guard!”

“Ah, I see.” It was obvious he didn’t believe you, but he was enjoying your closeness, so he kept his mouth closed, Continuing to watch the movie.

Whenever he felt you shake or a small noise of fear would escape you, he would start to pet your head, and hold you closer, usually not saying a word because he knew you would get shy about being scared.

Eventually his petting slowed until it stopped, his hand simply resting on the back of your head

You looked up at him, and he had fallen asleep.

This, of course, made you smile, although a little sad. Even if he was asleep, you were still cuddled up to him, so you were still content. After the third movie had finally ended, it was late, so you turned the TV off and let yourself drift off cuddled up to him , smiling contently

You woke up a bit cold, realizing your cuddle partner had been switched out with a pillow of similar scent.

Sitting up and rubbing your eyes, you heard Secondo make his way over to you

“Buongiorno, Tesoro. I hope you rested well, you almost wouldn’t let me out this morning. Breakfast is already being prepared downstairs, get dressed and ready, we’ll head down together.”

You hummed affirmatively, still a bit sleepy as you hobbled over to your dresser, grabbing some clothes and heading to take a shower.

Hi omg it’s been so long since i’ve wrote literally anything for anyone? i’m so happy with this tho. Spent all morning on it!!💚💚

Secondo is one of my favorites to write for, I love my grump old men.

Unironically, this was so fun to write, if you don’t know me, you’ll learn quickly i’m a horror movie junkie.

I really honestly did wanna do kinktober but i do NOT have enough time to write smut everyday, fluff yes, smut no, i would rather not have my professor know that im a degenerate.

This was so great for my first returning writing project! i loved it so much. Tysm for the request!!!💚💚

[jjtheresidentbaby]

idk if u still do supernatural but r u open to a fic of little sam and cg dean? (i dont ship them i just love the brother dynamic they got)

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ not true ໒꒱ ⋆ﾟ⊹

|| dean winchester & sam winchester

a/n: ofc I still do spn!! I still write for all the fandoms listed on my navigation post unless they’re crossed out

warnings: hurt/comfort, swearing, set in season 1, rude people, protective dean, pet names talk of jess’ death/cg!jess

-

Dean feels Sam's face tuck into his neck before he sees his brother walk over, Sam presses himself into Deans side so something is obviously wrong.

"Sammy?" He asks, turning on his feet to look at Sam's face, his eyes glisten with un-shed tears, nose sniffling after a second. Dean feels dread twist up in his gut, this hunt should be an easy salt and burn, they had come to this shop to ask a few routine questions about the owner who had died and since come back to haunt the place that his daughter now owns. Sam shouldn’t be upset or hurt at all.

"Hey, hey, sweetheart what’s wrong?” Deans hand comes to cradle Sam’s cheek before he can stop himself, he knows that Sam has slipped into his headspace, it’s written all over his face.

“Nothin’ just some guy.” He mumbles and a spike of anger flares in Deans chest. This is the fourth hunt in that past however many months that someone’s said something about Sam, whether it be about his “childish” behavior or the rambles he gives on cases that are too intricate for the local pd to understand. Both make Dean angry, protective, but the comments about how “clingy” or “young” Sam is really get to him.

His brother has been through a lot throughout his life, something that Dean is keenly aware of. The latest trauma is Jess dying, it had shook Sam to his core, just like when Mary died and John became a mess. But they’re working through it and Sam regressing has been helpful, it’s only four months into Dean finding out about the coping mechanism and yet he’s fallen comfortably into the role of a caregiver for Sam. A role that Jess used to fill, Dean is always sure to be sensitive when that comes up.

The last thing Sam should have to deal with is a bunch of assholes who have nothing better to do than poke fun at someone they don’t know. It gets to Dean in different ways than it does Sam, the older Winchester wants to hunt the people down and give them a piece of his mind, while Sam would rather Dean leave it and let Sam latch around him a little more than normal.

It’s how Dean finds his hand gripped tightly in Sam’s as they walk down the crooked sidewalk back to the Impala, thankfully not wearing suits as he’s sure it’d be an odd sight for anyone passing by. It’s not a long walk by any means but Dean can feel his mind spiraling the more Sam squishes against his side, whatever was said must’ve been bad, really bad.

“Hey it’s okay Sammy, it’s just us now.” Dean assures as soft as he can. Sam’s staring up at him from where his head is rested on Deans side, his body halfway slid down the bench of the impala so he can be smaller than Dean. It’s something Dean noticed almost immediately, Sam always slumps himself down or curls his shoulders in when he’s regressed, just trying to shrink himself to be physically tinier.

“Can you tell me what they said? You don’t have to but if I know I might be able to help more.” There’s a low rumble as Dean drives down the road, now thankful that their motel is just outside of town and not in the middle where they could run into more rude people.

“I- I was just asking questions about the girl we’re trying to help but this- this guy came in and started to say stuff about how nobody like me could really help her.” He sniffles through the explanation and Dean has to focus half his energy on not turning around to go tear that guy a new one. It’d do no good, sure it’d satisfy him, but Sam would still be upset and probably even more so knowing Dean got into a fight because of him, despite none of it ever being Sam’s fault. The kids got a heart of gold that people love to prey on.

“That’s not true, it will never be true Sammy. You are an amazing hunter and anyone would be lucky to have your help.” The compliments fire off in instinct, of course Sam’s a good hunter, of course he’d be the person you’d want to get help from, Deans never thought anything different.

“But—.” Dean shakes his head firmly, glancing down at Sam’s soft face and hand gripping at the t-shirt Dean has on, Dean wishes he could stay like this forever. Just them, safe, in Baby, only worrying about each other.

“But that guy was a jerk and you don’t deserve to be talked to like that. Now c’mon we’ll order something and watch cartoons.” A tired but full smile spreads on Sam’s face as they both tumble out of the car, Dean already holding his hand out for his brother and a plan forming in his head for what they can do once this hunt wraps up, they could both use a little tlc in Deans opinion.

[snowflakeanimelover]

So uhm I have a request for Spicytober. Could you please write a Kawaki x reader (fem) based on the prompt "I'd rather get you instead of candy" buuut if you don't mind can you change 'candy' into 'taiyaki' because it's his favorite 🥺 (tho ofc it's fine if you don't). I kinda wanna see reader get flustered because it's veeeery unusual of Kawaki to like something else other than taiyaki 😆 N e wayyy the genre is fluff and both Kawaki and reader are members of Team 7 and in their present age in Boruto. Thanksssss 🥰

Of course! I’m gonna be honest, the little bit I’ve seen of Boruto, Kawaki is my favorite lol. I’m sorry, I would change candy into teriyaki but then it won't be Halloween based very much…I hope you will still like it! :) Oh, and sorry the ending is so cheesy lol

Spicytober Event!

Topic: Candy

Prompt: “I’d rather get you instead of candy.”

Relationship: Kawaki x Female Reader

Fandom: Boruto

Warnings: Fluff :), cute, friends to lovers kinda trope

— — — —

“You can’t be serious.”

I couldn’t help but laugh at the look on my friend's face. I would’ve fallen backwards if it weren’t for Kawaki’s quick movements at grabbing a hold of my back, and pushing me back up. I coughed for a bit since I choked on a bit of my own saliva. Once I cleared my throat, I looked over at Kawaki.

“What are you laughing at?”

I cover my mouth, making sure not to burst out into laughter again. “Your face! It was really funny.” My voice was muffled behind my hand, but he still understood it.

“Whatever. I’m not dressing up.”

“What?! Come on, you have to do it with me! Friends do everything together!” I argue.

“You go to the bathroom without me.” He calmly replies.

I gawk at his words. “Obviously. You’re not a girl.” My lips turn into a pout at him. “Come on, please?”

He shakes his head. “I said no. I’ll go trick or treating with you, but I won’t dress up.”

Knowing for sure I wouldn’t be able to get through to him, I decided to give up. I let out a loud groan, admitting defeat. “Fine. At least you’ll go with me.”

— — —

After the third time, my parents called for me from downstairs, I jump down in excitement in my costume. “Alright, I’m ready!”

For a split second, his eyes widened as his eyes wandered over my costume. Quickly, he avoids eye contact, a dust of pink covering his cheeks. “Finally. Took you long enough.”

“Oh, shut it.” I giggle, hooking my arm with his and rushing out the door. The sun has already switched places with the moon, the stars, and street lights being the only light for people to see where they were going. I couldn’t help my excitement, my feet skipping down the sidewalk while I hummed a happy toon.

“Why are you so excited?”

“And you’re not? How can you not be excited to get candy?” I call over my shoulder since he was a couple of feet behind me.

Kawaki mumbled something in return, but I was too far away to hear. I stop my skipping, twirling around to face him. “What? I didn’t hear you.”

He was now a step in front of me, his cheeks becoming pink once again. “N-nothing. I didn’t say anything.”

“Oh, come on! What did you say?” I lazily punch his chest, the candy bag crinkling as it was held in that hand. 

He was silent for a few seconds. His lips open apart as if he were to say something, his eyes darting away from mine before he let out a sound. “I said…I’d rather have you then candy.” 

I was so close to missing it once again. His voice was so quiet, but I heard it as clear as day. I didn’t know what to say to that. My mouth opened and closed like a fish. The heat on my cheeks started to rise as I sputtered for a reply.

“U-um…wow.” I finally say. “B-but…don’t you like tariyaki more than anything?” I shyly ask, my fingers playign witht he bag in my hand. 

“Way to make this situation awkward, (Y/N)!” He shouts, face palming his forehead. 

“Just answer the question!” I yell back.

For the first time tha tday, our eyes met. The intensity and determination in them were astonishing. “It’s like I said, I prefer you…”

I stumbled back a bit. I tried to cover my warm cheeks with my hands, looking away from him. “I…I don’t know what to say…”

His warm hands grasp my wrists. He pulled them away from my face, both of our faces a bright shade of pink. “Don’t…hide from me.” He says gently. “I just…I guess now is the right time to say it, huh. I really like you, (Y/N).”

I tried my best not to look away in embarrassment. “I like you too, Kawaki.” I smile at him, warmth spreading through my body at this situation. It was certainly a relief to tell him my feelings.

[middleearthpixie]

After the Fire ~ Chapter One

A/N: I've missed writing The Hobbit Thorin, so here he is. 💜

Title: After the Fire

Fandom: The Hobbit - Post BOTFA AU Where Everybody Lives

Summary: Following the Battle of the Five Armies, a grievously wounded Thorin is brought back to the kingdom of Erebor, which is still mostly in ruins. Although he’s survived the wounds he received at the end of Azog’s blade, his recovery is far from complete.

When she's asked to help the dwarves tend to their wounded, medical student Jasna Stoneham reluctantly agrees. Not only is she only just barely a qualified to even set foot in the infirmary, but she stutters when she gets nervous and nervous does not even begin to describe how she's feeling. To make matters worse, no one thought to warn her that she would be caring for the king himself, Thorin Oakenshield. 

Unfortunately, the road to recovery isn’t necessary a smooth one, but if there’s one thing Thorin will learn, it’s that what Jasna lacks in experience and training, she makes up for in stubbornness, giving him a run for his money. And for every backwards step he takes, she is there to push him three steps forward. And Jasna will soon find out that there is a gentle, softer side to the dwarf king, one that very few people have ever seen and one he fights to keep hidden from her as well. But like his recovery, that is also easier said than done. 

Bard convinces Jasna Stoneham to assist Erebor’s healer as the wounded from the Battle of the Five Armies as they flood into Erebor. 

Pairing: Thorin Oakenshield x ofc Jasna Stoneham

Characters: Thorin, Jasna, Balin, Óin, Bard, Dáin Ironfoot, Dwalin, 

Warnings: None

Rating: T

Word Count: 1,900

Tag List: @tschrist1 @i-did-not-mean-to @lathalea @linasofia @fizzyxcustard @legolasbadass @kibleedibleedoo @xxbyimm @arrthurpendragon @exhausted-humxn-being @rachel1959 @laurfilijames @sketch-and-write-lover @sherala007 @enchantzz @knitastically @notlostgnome @myselfandfantasy @ggfamert @medusas-hairband @guardianofrivendell @jotink78

If you’d like to be added (or removed) to the tag list, please just let me know!

The smell of smoke lay so heavily in the air, Jasna could taste it. She certainly saw it, gray and hazy and thick enough that it made seeing the Lonely Mountain almost impossible. Her ears still rang with the sounds of battle, although the battle itself ended nearly an hour earlier. Now, all that remained on the scarred plains between the city of Dale—now occupied by Woodland elves and those who survived Smaug’s fiery wrath upon Esgaroth, such as her— and the dwarven kingdom of Erebor. 

The smoke wasn't even the worst smelling thing about war. No, far worse was the smell of death and decay that wove in through the smoke. She stood at the highest point of Dale, where the main road ended and a waist-high wall of cream-colored stone ringed the precipice—and swallowed hard at the sight stretched before her. Death—elves, Men, animals, dwarves—as far as the eye could see, and decay in the form of rotting orc and goblin corpses littered the plains. What had been a desolate, barren stretch of dust and soil and rocks and various other debris that found its way there in the arms of the wind, now bore the scars of battle. Deep wounds gutted the earth, stained by blood and various other fluids that she didn't want to think about. Weapons, both broken and discarded as well as dropped when its bearers were run through or decapitated or were dragged off by others, lay scattered all the way to the shattered façade of the fortress of Erebor. 

Her eyes watered from the haze and it wasn't until someone rushing by her knocked her aside that she was jolted back into the present. 

“Jasna?”

She righted herself. “I’m fine, thank you. Oh, Bard? What are you doing up here? I thought you’d still be down there.” 

She pointed to the plains, where her fellow stragglers were now tending to the fallen, carting off the injured.

Burying the dead.

He nodded. “I was and I will be again. But, the thing is, I’ve come to ask a favor of you.”

“A favor?”

“You are one of the only remaining souls among us with any sort of medical training and the dwarves are in desperate need of all the hands they can get to help them. They’ve taken terrible casualties and the elven healers are busy with their own kin.”

“Wait, you wa-want me to go there,” she pointed to the crumbling stone front from which the small Ereborian army had erupted not twelve hours earlier, “where I will m-m-most certainly not be welcomed or wanted?”

“Welcomed? Probably not. But wanted?” Bard shook his head. The paler sunlight of the late afternoon shone along his black hair, making it look almost blue. “You are wanted. Óin himself asked me.”

“Who?”

“One of the Erborian dwarves. Please, Jasna, they… their king was seriously wounded, along with his nephews and they are terrified they will lose all three without the extra help. We cannot spare any more healers.”

“And you can spare me because I would only be in the way here.”

“No,” Bard shook his head emphatically, “I did not say that.”

“You don’t have to. I—I know.”

“They need you, Jas. We can spare you.” He caught her by the shoulders, crouching slightly to meet her eyes. “You can do this. You were first in your class, according to Demelza.”

“F-first, yes. But I’ve only th-th-three months’ training.”

“It will be fine. You’ve a good head on your shoulders and are a quick study, according to her.”

“She is af-afraid you’ll s-s-send her to work w-w-with the dwarves!”

“Jasna! They need you and you’re going to argue this with me? You can do this.”

“I ca-cannot. L-l-listen to me. I already sound l-l-like an idiot.”

“You sound like no such thing and you’ll be comfortable with them in no time and no one will even notice.”

“Liar.”

“They need you, Jas.” His dark eyes held more than a hint of pleading in them. “And you can do this.”

She tried to ignore the pleading in his voice that accompanied the pleading in his eyes. One of the first things she learned when she’d begun her training was that if one could be of help, one should be of help. Limited though her knowledge might be, she could help the dwarves. And if she were normal like everyone else, she would do so in a heartbeat. Dwarves might not trust Men, but she did not feel that way about dwarves. She knew what they’d think the moment she opened her mouth, however, and their distrust would turn far deeper when she did.

“Bard, it’s n-n-not a wise idea.”

“Jasna, they need someone. You’re the only one with enough skill at this point. The only one.”

She pressed her lips together, gazing back toward the ruined Ereborian façade. “I don’t know I can,” she managed to whisper.

He draped an arm about her shoulder. “You can. If something happened to Bain, or Sigrid, or Tilda, I wouldn’t hesitate to have you help them. Not for a second.”

She peered up at him. “But, I am not a healer, Bard. You know I’ve only had a few months before Smaug—”

“I know,” he interrupted, his dark eyes serious as he caught her by the wrist, “but your limited knowledge, coupled with your head for this, is far better than one with none at all.”

“But I’m at that point where I am ac-ac-actually more of a danger than an untrained p-p-person. And I’m of Man. The dwarves neither like nor trust us.”

“Jasna!” Exasperation wove through that one word hissed through his teeth. “They care nothing about that right now. Did you not hear me? Their king needs all the help he can get and right now, that is you.”

She turned back toward the kingdom. Her gut kinked sharply, a sour taste flooding her mouth, one she swallowed hard against. “And if I kill their king? Th-then what?”

“We will worry about that when and if it happens.” He gave a gentle tug on her arm. “Now, come. They’ll be bringing him down from Ravenhill, along with his nephews, any time now.”

She reluctantly followed him, her booted feet almost dragging in the dust. “It’s a terrible idea, Bard. And y-you know it.”

“No. You need to have a bit more faith in yourself, and win your abilities.”

“My abilities. Three months of schooling, Bard, that’s all I’ve had. I’m a menace now, not a healer.”

“Stop that. For the love of everything, Jasna, you cannot let anyone else see that fear, that doubt. You have to believe in yourself if you want them to believe in you.”

“I don’t wa-wa-want them to believe in me,” she told him as they began the trek down along the sloping road toward the plains. “You want m-m-me to.”

“You can do this. And if you need any assistance, I’m certain once he can spare them, Thranduíl will send his own healers.”

“If I need it?”

“Jasna!”

She winced. “Sorry.” 

“Come along. It’s going to take us long enough to get there. And with any luck, Thorin Oakenshield will still have a bit of life left in him.”

****

“Where is the healer?” Balin growled, pacing along the length of the corridor outside Erebor’s Great Room, that was now a makeshift field hospital. “Bard promised us he’d be here by now.”

His brother, Dwalin caught him by the shoulders to halt his pacing. “Thorin and the lads aren’t even here yet. Save your fury for when they arrive.”

“Make way!” 

Both dwarves spun as the Iron Hill dwarves hurried in, each quartet carrying a litter bearing a bloodied body. Within the Great Hall, Óin and his assistants—Glóin’s wife Narnerra, Ori, Dori, and Nori, the latter three conscripted into service to help—hurried from cot to cot, barking orders at the other Iron Hill dwarves helping as well. It was chaos, but a controlled chaos, if such a thing could exist.

But Thorin, Fíli, and Kíli had yet to be brought down. They’d been cut down at Ravenhill, the furthest point any of the medics had to travel. But for every minute it took to bring them in, their lives slipped further away. 

“They’re here!”

Balin gripped his brother’s arm. “Where is Bard? Or may I now let my fury out?”

Before Dwalin could answer, the teams carrying Thorin and his nephews hurried by and into the Great Room. A throng of Iron Hill dwarves and their leader, Thorin’s cousin Dáin, gathered around even as Óin snapped, “Step back, if ye don’t mind! Balin, has Bard returned yet?”

“Not yet!”

“Yes, he has!” Bofur came around the corner with the black-haired Bard and a short, rather plain-looking girl? “I’ve got him right here. Him and—what did ye say yer name was, lassie?”

“Balin,” Dwalin leaned closer, “I thought you said he was bringing a healer?”

“That’s what I was told.”

Bard plowed through the throngs, almost dragging the little girl behind him. Up close, Balin realized that she wasn’t a little girl at all, but was a grown woman. She was just small. Even to a dwarf. Maybe five feet tall. And slight. Pale-skinned, with what looked like unruly dark red hair hastily skinned back into a knot at her nape. 

Her eyes were captivating, though. Large and almond shaped and an unusual shade of yellow-green. Bard shoved the girl at him. “I’ve brought you your healer. Jasna Stoneham, Balin Fundinson. Balin, Miss Jasna Stoneham.”

Jasna offered up a nervous sort of smile. “I’m told your ki-king has been brought in.”

“Aye, he has, lassie,” Balin said, gesturing toward the Great Hall. “He and his nephews. And you’ll of course forgive me, but are you a healer?”

“Uh, well, N-no. N-n-n-ot exactly.” She visibly swallowed, her gaze sliding in Bard’s direction. “But—”

“She was in training when Smaug attacked,” Bard explained, his tone brooking no arguments. “She is the best we have.”

Balin hoped his disbelief didn't show in his face as he replied, “Well then, we’d best get you in there, lassie.”

She went paler still, but nodded. He caught her by the elbow and steered her toward where Óin stood, looking beyond grim. “Óin… I’ve brought you your healer.”

“Good.” He looked at the girl, and his already serious expression grew grimmer still. “She is the—very well. Lassie, start with Fíli. I’ll call ye if I need ye.”

She nodded, visibly swallowing hard again and moved around to where Fíli and his brother Kíli lay on separate cots, pale and still and bleeding from various wounds. Balin looked over at Bard, who offered up a slight nod and said, “She’ll be fine. I give you my word.”

“I hope so,” he replied, watching as the Jasna tucked a long curl behind one ear, her hands trembling as she reached down toward Fíli. But then, as he watched, a change crept over the girl. Her eyes weren’t quite so wide now, and she drew in a deep breath, then got to work. 

[luckydragon10]

Hi hi! I don't have a question for The King's Tree but I do have a little idea that that came to me while reading it and thought I'd share it 💕

So in The King's Tree, bondmarks grow in the presence and in response to their soulmate, which got me wondering what if bondmarks also responded when a soulmate treats their soulmate wrongly? Depending on the severity maybe it just hurts a little or hurts a lot or maybe even wilts? Wilts to the point it "dies"?

I was thinking what if in Chapter 5 after the diamond auction when Porsche is feeling violated getting drugged, kidnapped, assaulted by Vegas and then being punished for it after Kinn (albeit unintentionally) gave him permission to drink the water and he knows that Kinn knows that he intentionally threw Porsche to the wolves with Big and Ken will gleefully beat him during the punishment.....what if Porsche's bondmark "dies"? As in wilts completely, all color faded, leaves fallen off the branches, the trunk once a lively brown now a dead ash grey and now leaves him with a constant deep ache in his arm? And Porsche has never heard of this happening with a bondmark before and thinks "this is it" and assumes that this means he and Kinn are no longer soulmates, they've lost their chance. But only Porsche will have to carry that mark and that ache (literally and metaphorically).

But ofc KinnPorshe is endgame so his bondmark is not actually dead but can only come back to "life" once Kinn earns it/proves himself. And Porsche feels his bondmark burst back to life when Kinn takes the bullet for him. And it doesn't just retake the growth level it was at before it "died" but grows further to the growth level we see in the hospital. But bc I still want a little angst, there are still a few branches that have no leaves, still a few areas on the trunk that look more ashy then lively. All the more guilt for Kinn once he sees this and finds out why (no this is totally not me being petty towards Kinn and saying he can go through a lil more angst for what he did to my baby Porsche 😂)

But those "dead" areas are in the minority and for a long time Kinn still feels guilty when he sees those areas but Porsche tells him that he sees it as sign of how far they've come, that though there are still those "dead" (dark) times in their past, the parts of the bondmark that are ALIVE are so much more prominent and are made more beautiful by the fact that it wasn't an easy road to get where they are. To Porsche it's like carrying their whole story in his bondmark, both the good and the bad.

Okay, whee, big box!

First of all, let me say is it AWESOME and a HUGE compliment that I could inspire you to do some imagining of your own! That's something any creator wishes for and hopes to achieve.

Also, for you and for anyone who's curious about my writing process, the idea of having bondmarks wither did occur to me, and I thought about it in the brainstorm phase. I scrapped the idea early on for multiple reasons:

Simplicity: For a fantasy trope like a soulmates fanfic AU, simple rules help keep the story clearer.

Tension: I wanted the tension of the story to focus on the hiding and revealing of the bond between Kinn and Porsche. "What does Porsche have to do to keep the secret? What if the mark gets too big to hide? When and how will the secret come out?" Those were the questions I wanted readers thinking about. I decided that additional tension about the bondmark withering would dilute focus... which comes back to simplicity!

Balance/Empathy: For my purposes, the bondmark withering would have skewed the balance between Kinn and Porsche that I was aiming for.

Empathy is a BIG one, so let me unpack it:

I love both Kinn and Porsche, but I think of the two, the fandom has a harder time understanding and empathizing with Kinn. Porsche is easy to get, relatable, a plucky guy with money problems. Empathizing with Kinn takes more effort because his circumstances are so far removed from normal.

For TKT, the fact that Kinn made the decision to remove his seed? That alone caused pleeenty of negative audience sentiment toward Kinn. Loads. If I'd gone the "bondmark withering" route, it would have turned readers down a path I personally didn't want them to go: unyielding anger at Kinn and glowing empathy for Porsche.

Of course, this is just my reasoning, some insight into how I made my choices. Another writer would have made different choices, and that's the beauty of fanfic -- we all get to play in new and interesting ways!

[aerialflight]

Fic Rec (it's been too long and I read a whole lot of fics)

I've read so many fics these past couple of months and my need to share them to the world has seized me by the throat. Please enjoy and support these fanfic writers! They are the best. XD

-

[Naruto]

Nine-Tailed Foxes are Dead by RowlettLesbian

Ship: Shikamaru/Naruto

For Konoha, it's been one month since the preliminary Chunin exams. For Naruto, it's been six. And he wasn't in Konoha.

At the end of his ordeal, Naruto walks into the Chunin Exam finals without his left arm.

Shikamaru is very concerned. And, eventually, very precious to Naruto as they work together to solve the mysteries of Konoha and bring kindness to the Shinobi world, one adventure at a time.

(I would die for this fic. I know the summary sounds doom and gloom but IT'S NOT. This fic made me fucking cry, I don't think I've ever read a fic that characterized Naruto so right. He's so full of hope and love and develops into the best version of himself and I'm so HERE FOR IT. And it's not just Naruto, Shikamaru is absolutely amazing here along with Kakashi and surprise surprise Ino, I can't BELIEVE it took me this long to stumble across this fic. Also THE WORLDBUILDING IS TO DIE FOR!!! And the plot! Is! So! Interesting! Just, everything about this fic is just amazing so please PLEASE read this!!!)

The End of the Uchiha by RowlettLesbian

Ship: Naruto/Sasuke

“I promise, little electric spirit of this shrine,” he whispered into the soft dirt and fallen leaves, “I will never gain the eyes. I will never pass them on. And I will make sure the eyes end in my brother, so that they can’t hurt anybody anymore. I will be the last Uchiha, and see to the end of the Copy-Wheel Clan. Then all of the hatred here can stop, and my family can rest peacefully. I promise, little shrine.”

Sasuke is more than his brother thinks he is. He's more than any Uchiha has ever been. He will kill his brother, but it will not be vengeance.

It will be mercy.

(Same author as the one above, they are the gift that keeps on giving. Seriously, HOW did I NEVER FIND THESE FICS before now??? One of life's greatest mysteries. The author's sense of humor is so on point here along with the atmospheric writing that's so vivid in the mind. Their writing style is so recognizable to me now and makes me fall into the world they're creating, it's stunning. Sasuke here makes me want to hug him and the idea of him living like a feral ghibli character has me LIVING. Check the tags of the fic, all of it is true, hand to god. Please give all of the author's fics a shot, it's a rabbit hole I'm thankful I fell into!)

mil fantasmas (gritan en calma) by LegaciesandMemories

Post-Tsukuyomi, something in Uchiha Sasuke's mind shatters. The same night, Yamanaka Ino falls asleep and doesn't wake up for 15 days.

---

In which Ino and Sasuke both wake from the aftermath of the Uchiha Massacre with the ability to see ghosts, and no one is prepared for the fallout.

(This fic has arrested my curiosity and eagerness to know what will happen next. These poor kids need so many hugs and Ino is getting the spotlight she deserves. I am so excited for this fic and what it has in store! Please read! XD)

Lichtenberg Figures by Asteroid_Duck (JustThatOneGirl1815)

Name: Kakashi Hatake Rank: Jounin Status: Missing Nin Missing Since: June 15th, 271 AD Note: Flee on Sight . . . Haburashi looked his team in the eyes— three, fresh out of the Academy genin— and resolved to teach them as best as he could. And right now, his lesson was simple: “Stay. Away. From. Kakashi. Hatake.”

(Dimension travel fic with a slice of Kakashi being an absolute troll and dealing with the shitty hand he's been dealt with. Seriously, the man has the worst luck in all of Konoha. Also, the mystery of the other Kakashi's history has me leaning by the edge of my seat, I need to know.)

The Governess by Ysmirel

Ship: Kakashi/OFC

"“What,” he finally asked, “is so funny?”

Ibara bit her lower lip to keep the chuckles in, still smiling and making absolutely no effort to get more space between them, seemingly perfectly at ease within reach of a trained shinobi. Her self-control wasn't all that good, as she ended up snorting and was overcame once again by another fit of laughter. “I just- It's just-” She struggled to speak, trying to catch her breath and wiping away tears of mirth with the hand that wasn't still holding onto his vest. Finally, she looked him in the eye and said, with a smile that was all teeth and without a hint of her previous drunken stupor, “and who's going to believe you?”

As he stood there, stunned by her words and change in demeanor, he realized with dawning horror that she was right."

In which Kakashi finds himself at the other end of the troll shtick, and he doesn't appreciate it all that much.

(It's so hard to find self-insert fics with a fresh concept these days, especially in the naruto fandom. Not that I don't enjoy and devour a lot of self insert fics like it's going out of style, but it's just so nice to find something new and shiny and really damn good. I'm so pumped for this fic and how it's going to develop so please join me in rooting for this fic!)

half a league (until the valley of death) by SpectersShadow117

Kakashi can think of no reason for Sasuke's inexplicable and drastic change in behavior. He doesn't like the desperate, haunted gleam in his student's eyes, and he also doesn't like the nagging feeling that he's missing something very important. Aka: Future Sasuke goes to Past Sasuke and gives him a reality check with Specific Intentions, but as with most Uchiha, his methods leave much to be desired. (Featuring: Childhood trauma FTW, Konoha's shitty care of orphans, and absolutely no one having a fun time.)

(Sasuke wanting to change the future out of complete and utter spite has me LIVING. Sasuke is such a Mess here and the twist on the time travel premise is so good and the kid is so Traumatized and Desperate and Not Having A Good Time. Naruto and Sakura developing as better ninjas and Kakashi trying his best makes me want to scream. Also, how Sasuke thinks about Itachi makes me want to cackle. I am 100% down for this. I am rooting for this kid, go get them! XD)

-

[Harry Potter]

fruit loops in time (circle around me) by justprompts

Ships: Harry/Draco, Remus/Sirius

"This is Crabbe, and Goyle," the blonde boy says, pointing at the two boys next to him. "And I'm Malfoy, Draco Ma - "

Ron laughs, and Malfoy immediately bristles.

"Think my name's funny, do you?" Malfoy says, angrily. "No need to ask yours - "

"You're honestly so cute," Ron interrupts, yet again, shaking his head. "So tiny. And so angry, all the time. It's adorable."

Alternatively Ron Weasley, Time Traveller Extraordinaire, is stuck in the same seven year Hogwarts Loop, repeating the same thing over and over again. Naturally, he's so done with everything.

(This is the greatest hp fic I've ever read. I LOVE RON WEASLEY and by the time you read this fic SO WILL YOU!! This is the fic I WISH I have the ability to write. I read this entire fic aloud to my brother and we spent literal hours howling and talking about how utterly insane and incredible this fic is, it's amazing. This is hands down my favorite Ron Weasley. You Can Pry This Fic From My Cold Dead Fingers.)

-

[Boku no Hero Academia]

Kacchan's Cult by Ourliazo

Pro Hero Ground Zero is attacked, originally meant to be de-aged out of existence by a desperate villain but is instead launched into his 14-year-old self.

But Katsuki is a fucking pro so whatever, time to fuck up someone's day. And sure, maybe he's only one man, but that's why he conscripts the entirety of the UA student body into tearing down some criminal empires.

(It's time travel, crack, and Bakugou being his usual explody, competent self. What more in life do you want? Seriously though, please read. I'm obsessed with this fic and having a Good Time!)

Cleaning Crew; Teaching Kids to Value their Safety, for Fun and Profit by Reavv

Takenaka Hideo is a thirty-two year old, in mild desperation for money, who has just been hired as a new janitor for UA's support staff. He has a quirk that lets him find lost objects, a liaison with the police because of it, and desperate desire for competent co-workers.

Oh, and he's already lived a previous life, in a world where quirks and heroes didn't even exist.

Not a big deal, though. It's not like you ever see the janitor playing a big part in action movies. He's here to get paid, and that's it.

On the opposite side of the equation, class 1-A has to wonder at the new UA cryptid that always seems to show up when things are on fire, and who keeps trying to convince them to let the adults handle the fire extinguisher.

(A great deal of fun packed into one fic. That is how I title this fic and nothing will change my mind! Hideo just wants to quietly do his job and not get in the way. I Relate. Please read!)

Poltergeist by WriterGreenReads

Class 1-A is haunted.

Well, not really.

I AM dead, though.

World's friendliest poltergeist, at your service.

(I don't know how I got so sucked into OC fics, but I found some fantastic fics along the way so I have no regrets. The author really tries to push the premise and I just love all the interactions and dynamics that form as the fic gets further in. And the OC character and all the hijinks they get up to cracks me up! At the same time, it's pretty heartwarming and it's practically a friendships galore fic! Definitely recommend it!)

invincible by supercrunch for Engrin

Ship: Bakugou/Midoriya

This is the way the world works: the sun rises in the east. The strong come out on top. Bakugou Katsuki rockets through life like a comet and Midoriya Izuku stumbles after. If he believed in such things Katsuki would say it was written in the stars. That some god of war had looked at him and said this one. That he’d been passed along a line to get his blessings – genius, willpower, fearless ambition – and dropped off on earth.

Then, of course, there is the question of Deku. The spitfire runt. Deku, no matter what the world does to him, never stops hoping.

Until, of course, he eventually does.

(Katsuki broke him. Snapped him in half like a twig and now has to scramble to put Deku back together. “We can do this, Deku," he says slowly. "There are so many mysteries that never got put to bed. Criminals roaming around looking to hurt people and you and me, we can fix that.”

There’s a long pause. The comforter slips a little off Deku’s skinny shoulders and drowns him. “You mean like a team?”

In that split second, Katsuki makes a decision he’s never even considered. He swallows his pride. “Yeah, Deku. We’d be a team.”)

(If there was any other way canon could've gone, this is the story I would've wanted. It's perfect.)

Inadvertent Wilderness Therapy by Cacid

Following an unfortunate encounter with a teleporter on the last day of internships, Bakugou Katsuki and Hakamata Tsunagu spend some quality time in northern Canada.

In no particular order they will: build ugly survival shelters, stalk rabbits, run from polar bears, reflect on the chemical composition of trees, insult each other, and complain about krumholtz.

(THESE TWO. TOGETHER. IN THE WILDERNESS. IN FUCKING CANADA OF ALL PLACES. I still can't believe this fic actually exists and just how INVESTED I became in their relationship. Blue Jeanist instantly became my favorite ranked hero with this fic alone. HIS SENSE OF HUMOR IS TERRIBLE, I LOVE HIM SO MUCH FNIEWOPAF. BAKUGOU DOES TOO. IT'S FUCKING INCREDIBLE. *incoherent screeching into the wild*)

-

[Stranger Things]

Baci D'aria by RabbitDarling

“Love is worth the sum of itself, and nothing more.” ― Alice Hoffman, Practical Magic

Steve learned a lot at his Aunt's side before she passed but his favourite thing she taught him was baci d'aria; special little spells that you created from the heart and put into the food you shared.

In opening his heart and gifts to those around him Steve slowly finds himself a family in a way he never thought he'd get to experience. One by One he collects pre-teens to trail in his wake like ducklings and Steve can't even refute it by the time he realizes what has happened.

(This fic is so soft and Steve is just collecting people and winning them over with his magical food (literally). I am always a sucker for heartwarming, good for the soul fics so if you want to make yourself hungry and feel all warm and gooey inside, read this!)

(Don't Fear) The Reaper by TeaFourTwo

Ship: Steve/Billy

He looks down at the blood on his hands and on the floor and wonders why the memory hasn’t broken yet, why he isn’t back in Starcourt mall with control of his body again, wonders if he's even still alive at all. Is this hell then? Or perhaps purgatory? It certainly isn’t heaven, that’s for sure. None of this makes any sense…but then what's new—nothing in Billy’s life makes sense anymore.

Billy laughs then, loud and long and unhinged. It's the only sound in the whole house, and it bounces off the walls like a fucked up echo, like the world is laughing with him.

“Jesus christ you’re insane…” It’s Max’s voice and it’s shaking. It only makes Billy laugh harder, because Max has it all wrong. Billy isn’t crazy, it’s the rest of the world that’s insane.

--

Billy dies a hero of sorts. He wakes up back in his bed on Saturday morning, the third of November, 1984...nearly nine months earlier.

(Billy is stuck in a time loop and it's slowly driving him crazy. And the fic shows just how much influence Billy did have in the plot and how doomed the world is without him in it. Great character exploration with Billy's character and all the ways he's so messy and human. Definitely recommend it!)

-

[Knives Out]

The Road Less Traveled By by UisceOneLove

Ship: Marta/Ransom

If Harlan wants to leave Ransom to be on his own, fine. He'll show him just what Ransom Drysdale is capable of.

or, where Ransom chooses to prove his abilities through means of the non-homicidal variety and finds himself becoming exactly what Harlan was hoping he would.

(I found this fic out of sheer chance and god, Ransom is just, so fascinating to me as a character. Marta of course is the Best here and I will forever stan her. Seriously, this is such a good fic! Please read!)

-

[Haikyuu!!]

Sky Full of Stars by grilledsquids

The Hinatas are twins. They're practically identical.

But while Shouyou seeks out Karasuno's volleyball team to become the next Little Giant, Natsu is scouted to to play soccer for Shiratorizawa. While Shouyou sets his eyes on playing volleyball at the highest level possible, his sister wonders how much longer she can play soccer... and if it's worth it to keep going.

A Natsu-centric story featuring: Shiratorizawa VBC shenanigans, too many soccer OCs, mild teenage drama, a little bit of plot, and Semi Eita not knowing what a period is.

(It's just!! So cute and wholesome!!! The Shiratorizawa volleyball team is so fleshed out along with the OC characters for the girl's soccer team and I swear, it's been a long while since I've laughed this much at the sheer shenanigans that happen in a fic. It's surprisingly hard to find good gen fics in this fandom so finding this gem made me so happy! If you want a fic that brings a smile to your face, read this!!)

like water by speakingincode

Ship: Oikawa/Kageyama

“Oikawa,” Iwaizumi says, and when Tooru looks at him, he can read My best friend’s an idiot off the crease of his eyebrows. “Are you telling me you spent the last three years weirdly obsessed with Kageyama – I still remember the time you made us play him on a dumb whim, you know – and now you’re at his beck and call? Are you okay? What the hell is wrong with you?”

“I’m— I’m not at his beck and call! I said no last week. It’s… It’s like you said. I get bored easily. I saw him at the park a couple weeks after they played Nationals and called him a perfect little tyrant, and he pestered me into spending time with him after,” Tooru says. “I’m not a monster, Iwa-chan. If he wants the company of his cool, handsome ex-upperclassman that badly, who am I to begrudge him?”

Or: Oikawa doesn't know why Kageyama keeps asking to meet him on Saturdays. He also doesn't know why he keeps saying yes.

(The fact this fic is canon-compliant and covers post-canon too makes me want to shout to the heavens. Fucking incredible! One of the best Oikakage fics ever and it's a crime how it's not at the top of the ship tag. Please please read!!)

twist into your shape by kakkoweeb

Ship: Oikawa/Kageyama

The only thing better than sweets were sweets containing paper that told you whether your future would be good or bad--or in Kageyama and Oikawa's case, paper that somehow caused you to live inside each other's bodies.

(Everyone probably already read this fic but it needs to be said, you need to read this fic. How these two try and manage each other's lives and slowly start to care about one another is so beautiful and sincere and I am ready to wrestle anyone to the floor and comply them into reading this fic. Doesn't matter if you like the ship, you will become a fan if you read it, I promise. Please please read!!)

Take the Long Road Home by pepperfield

Ship: Kuroo/Sawamura

When Azumane Asahi goes missing before his engagement meeting with Kozume Kenma, what other option is there but for Daichi to impersonate his brother and fake his way through a first date with Asahi's fiance?

Okay, let's be realistic - there were probably at least four other options.

Unfortunately, Tetsurou couldn't come up with any of them either, so now he's here flirting with Kenma's future husband while trying to keep his web of deceit from collapsing.

It's going to be an eventful day.

(I got obsessed with this ship alongside Oikakage and SO WILL YOU. THE POTENTIAL. THE BANTER. THE FACT THEY'RE BOTH DORKS AND THE FIC HAS IDENTITY SHENANIGANS DANCING ALL OVER IT!! I had so much fun reading this and these two are MEANT TO BE FENIWPAF. If you don't see the potential of this ship, you will now.)

a misunderstanding a day keeps the boyfriend away by bartallen for betuls

Ship: Kuroo/Sawamura

Kuroo doesn’t fall in love hard and fast like many others do – he falls slowly, and very very softly. Most of the times he doesn’t even realise he’s in love with someone until it’s too late.

(Kuroo is the dumbest man alive and I've never related to someone so hard in my life. God help me.)

You like me. by roseknight

Ship: Daishou/Kuroo

Kuroo nearly lived a Daishou-free life, and sometimes he looked back and wondered how much better and how much worse that would've been.

(I didn't even know who Daishou was until I read this fic and now I can't unsee the potential this ship has. I'm a ruined woman and I regret NOTHING.)

Kings of the Road, Kings of the Universe by EzzyDean

Eight magical captains, one bus, an entire summer (and country) waiting for them.

What could possibly go wrong?

(The magic of friendship meets the magic of a summer road trip meets pure magic.)

(CAPTAIN SQUAD IS THE BEST SQUAD SOMEBODY PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD SEND ME SOME CAPTAIN SQUAD FICS I AM SO IN LOVE WITH THIS SQUAD IT'S A PROBLEM AAAAHHHHHH!)

宿縁 : See You Soon by MissKiraBlue

Ship: Oikawa/Kageyama

Upon arriving at the train station of death, an impure soul is granted a second chance at life against his will. Reincarnating into the body of Kageyama Tobio, a 15-year-old boy who recently committed suicide. Tobio's soul will depart at death and the soul needs to slip in to replace it. If the soul's reformation succeeds, he’ll reenter the cycle of rebirth and regain the right to be reborn. He will have three months to accomplish this task.

“Even though you had enough of life,” the soul whispered into the void of the room, “you were still afraid to hurt your hands, Tobio.”

Afraid of giving himself a scar, if he survived.

He touched his pulse and grasped life and couldn’t help but pity Kageyama Tobio.

"You wanted to die and now I’m here making you live again," he whispered into the night.

(I'm not even exaggerating when I say out of all the fics in this entire goddamn, too long list, this is the fic I'm anticipating and heart eyeing the most. It's only starting, but I already cried on chapter fucking 2, the power of this fic, holy shit. The author also wrote the hq time loop Every Tomorrows series, which I have an undying love for and am full on praying for the day it updates, so you KNOW this fic will be just as good. (Anybody who hasn't read this series, where the hell have you been?? Read it!!) Just, everything about this fic hurts me and something in my chest just aches when I read this fic. Go into it blind with an open heart and I swear to you, it's going to change your life. I'm already calling it. Seriously though, please please read!)

-

[Crossover]

Learning to Fly by Asteroid_Duck (JustThatOneGirl1815)

Fandoms: Boku no Hero Academia, Naruto

The number three hero is a walking (well, flying) contradiction in every sense of the word. This includes his teaching skills. Why had Tokoyami agreed to this internship again? Oh right. He’d thought he was actually going to learn something. …….remind him to never be so optimistic again. . . . OR, Kakashi Hatake is reincarnated as the pro hero, Hawks. Tokoyami Fumikage suffers as a result.

(The reincarnation fic I never thought I needed and it's so good!! I've never really paid attention to Tokoyami and this fic sent me headfirst into loving him. Their dynamic is so interesting and I just love how their relationship develops. Also, Kakashi trolling the poor kid made me cackle, it's great! Definitely recommend it!)

Si Vis Pacem by athenoot

Fandoms: Boku no Hero Academia, John Wick

Everything has a price. That's what John has always known and will forever remember, even in death.

Which is pretty ironic considering his current circumstance.

Instead of a grown, scarred, weary body belonging to a man as cruel and broken as him, he's inhabiting a younger, smaller, unblemished one belonging to a child with strangely colored hair, and is living in what seems to be a superhuman society.

Well. May it never be said that John isn't a strategist. He can live with this. Maybe.

(Somewhere out there in the universe, he's certain he could hear the laughter of his enemies from beyond the grave.)

-

Or: John Wick is reincarnated as Midoriya Izuku. The world should probably watch its back.

(This should be one of the crackiest fics I've read in a while, but it's taken so seriously and I'm so HERE FOR THIS. John Wick being John Wick in a world of quirks and heroes is the GREATEST, honestly, he's so badass. Bakugou, I feel for you, you must be so fucking confused lol. Bakugou trying his best to be a good friend is one of the best things about this fic. Trust me, this fic will make your day, promise!)

A Girl's Mind is a Dangerous Place by clenastia

Fandoms: Naruto, Fairy Tail

Natsu wakes up in Sakura's body. It only gets worse from there. Also known as: In Which Natsu has No Idea what to do with Boobs.

(I binged this in two fucking days, I couldn't put it down. This fic reminded me why I liked fairy tail when I was younger and why Natsu is honestly such a great protagonist, god. And the fic does that thing, you know, the Thing where when two worlds collide, the characters struggle to acclimate and adapt to a completely another world with different rules and mindsets against their own. This fic is seriously one of the best when it comes to that aspect, it's incredible. I am going absolutely feral over here for this fic to update, I'm waiting in the wings, ready to pounce like a tiger, all the metaphors man. For the love of god, read this fic.)

Give me a landscape made of obstacles by Melise

Fandoms: Naruto, Natsume's Book of Friends

Kakashi Hatake isn’t who he says he is.

Because the truth is that he’s actually a youkai in disguise, a wolf spirit named Madara who stumbled across the Hatake clan during the Warring States Period. Intrigued by the shinobi he saw, he’d proposed a temporary alliance in which he would offer the clan protection in exchange for their teachings.

Decades later, Madara is surprised to find himself inadvertently summoned to Konoha by the last living member of the Hatake clan. Sakumo Hatake, who is mourning the recent deaths of his wife and stillborn child, doesn’t want to be alone anymore. So with his permission, Madara takes the place of Sakumo’s deceased son in order to watch over the last Hatake.

(Fusion in which the youkai of Natsume’s Book of Friends all exist in the Naruto world. No knowledge of Natsume’s Book of Friends required).

(Before this fic, I only had a very vague idea of what Natsume's Book of Friends was, and honestly, I still don't know much about it. But I didn't really need to know to get into this fic. I love the worldbuilding and the relationships Kakashi forms, both supernatural and mortal. I love how Kakashi's inhumane ways affect others around him, whether to stress them out or become used to the strange. You can go straight into this fic without knowing anything and absolutely still have a fantastic time. I definitely recommend this so please read!)

[tartagilicious]

If you’re still writing for the MLQC fandom, could I request a headcannon for the boys with a motherly S/O, they’re prepared for any situation and listen to any problems they have? Please and thank you! (*´∇｀*)

ofc bestie 💃 i am definitely still writing for it, just bouncing around fandoms as i tend to do !

✧･ﾟ: victor

- uhhhh one word: complicated

- his mother died when he was at a young age, so his relationship with things like motherly love and/or concern tend to be very gray. there are certain memories he holds onto, and really, i can only see it intriguing him to see such similarities in you

- not to confuse this with a yuki from fruits basket situation, though — he sees you completely as the love of his life, and only laughs at how much your redeeming traits remind him of his late mother. he’ll never say it, but it’s extremely comforting to have something so familiar around.

- you are your own person. your concern for him when he comes home soaking wet after he forgot an umbrella is genuine and valid, and the way you attentively listen to whatever troubles he may have is as sweet as it’s ever been coming from you.

- in other words, you’re his safe person. he can only hope it will always be that way, lest something takes you away, too.

✧･ﾟ: lucien

- does this whole group have mommy issues

- anyways

- surprise surprise!! another dead mom. but it’s a different situation to victor — really, you couldn’t be more different from his mother. his mother was a woman dedicated to science, comforting in particular ways that only lucien could reciprocate, and while you may share similar traits, there’s no amount of association that could link the two of you based on kindness alone

- he knows better than to see you that way, anyway

- rather, he sees your own “motherly” traits in an entirely different light. your concern for him, last minute reminders to complete things or eat a meal before the hour passes, none of this strikes him as motherly as much as it does wife-like LMAO

- the man can’t wait

- but anyway, your characteristics completely pull him in. he dotes on your natural want to help others, and your willingness to help him even when knowing the weight of what he’s gone through.

✧･ﾟ: gavin:

- i’m not gonna mention it but you know what i wanna say

- your caring tendencies have always been one of his favourite things about you!! even back to high school, he has vivid memories of you patching up minor’s knee after he had fallen in gym.

- it’s an admirable set of traits to have, and really, he finds them even more endearing when they’re directed towards him. the hand that comes up to rub his rain-soaked hair, the gentle smile that comes when he tells you of a recent achievement. it gives him a certain type of high he could chase forever

- mostly, because it’s more or less physical proof that he’s finally made it to the point he’s always dreamed of — you are his, and he has always been yours.

✧･ﾟ: kiro:

- does kiro have a mom? it seems more fitting for him to be lab grown or something

- still, traits like these are unmistakably desirable to anyone, lab grown or not. your kindness and concern is something he would especially need — it's reassuring to him at the end of every day, to come home to someone that sees the person he is through his eyes, not the words that comes out of his mouth

- he finds comfort in the fact that you will listen to him as either kiro or helios. because, in a way, both of these identities belong to you.

✧･ﾟ: shaw:

- doesn’t know how to react at all LMAO

- your ceaseless concern and niceties are just redundant at first, but as he grows closer to you, he realises that’s just how you are and it boggles his mind. i can’t even visualise this kind of personality on shaw, so i can’t imagine he could either

- unlike his brother, it definitely reminds him more of his mom — shaw had always been close to their mother before she died, and to see such similar qualities in you confuses him. it may have given you an unfair advantage on him that even shaw wasn’t completely aware of

- he brushes you off at first, but even at his peak, he’ll still begrudgingly lament to you about his day. as long as you’re running your fingers through his hair, he’s content with telling you anything.

[criticallyacclaimedstranger]

Fic: Old Flames

Rating: Explicit

Fandoms: The Great Wall

Ships: Pero Tovar/OFC named Soledad

Tags/warnings: hate fucking I guess???, sex work mentioned, choking, fingering, squirting, rough PiV sex, pero being very disdainful towards women, let me know if I missed something

Summary: This was a request by @thirddeadlysin (ask found here) and it goes as follows: "Maybe Pero Tovar finally has enough to return to his hometown? Maybe once there (or along the way) an age-appropriate somebody that he used to know relieves him of his very hard-won purse without him realizing until he goes to pay for a drink/meal/room/fuck and now he has to go make them give it back?"

A/N: I wanted to do something hot and cute but there's just something about Pero that makes me go absolutely feral and write him as a gruff, cold, rough man. And he needs a woman who can handle that. I hope OFC is okay, I tried reader-insert but it didn't feel right. Now I could use a gif of the lovely Catherine Zeta Jones to illustrate what kind of beauty has him so hopelessly ensnared.

Pero Tovar may not have the love of a good woman to return to, but there is something special about going home. He has been on the road for a long time and the journey is almost over, for this time. Night has fallen and he was loath to make a stop one town over, but it would have been too risky to press on in the dark night. So he gets a room for the night at an inn he knows from before. The food is good, the ale is strong, the serving wenches pretty, and for the right price the innkeeper is not opposed to having them visit a guest’s room for an hour.

Having enjoyed that good food and strong ale, Pero is now watching the brash girl who served him, and she is smiling back at him as she pours drinks for another guest. As soon as she is free, she comes over to Pero’s table. A quick exchange, and they go upstairs to his room.

There is someone waiting there. A woman, dressed for travel, dark hair spilling down her shoulders in waves, wearing a similar cross-body bundle to the one he has.

“Soledad.”

The woman he has known since he was a young man in the soldier barracks of his hometown. She was a scout back then, a spy, and a pickpocket. As far as Pero knows from more recent encounters with her, she has not made any career changes.

“Pero,” she nods, an amused smile on her lips when she sees the wench. “I seem to be interrupting.”

“You are,” Pero tells her gruffly. “If you wanted to see me, you could have done so downstairs. No need to break into my room.”

“It’s a lot more fun this way, isn’t it?” Soledad chuckles as she comes up to Pero and the girl. She scrutinized Pero’s choice and nods her approval.

“Very nice. Would you mind if I joined you?” Her hand is on the girl’s bright red cheek and she leans in against the girl, inhaling her scent, eyes fixed on Pero.

“I do mind. We can catch up later.” Pero is not in the mood to play Soledad’s games, and it is always a game with her.

“Too bad.” Soledad sighs dramatically. “We could have had a lot of fun.”

“Sorry to miss it,” Pero says without even looking at her. He walks up to the bed, relieves himself of his bundle bag and throws it along with his cloak on the bed, then turns to Soledad to tell her to leave.

“So I am.”

More or less throwing herself at him, Soledad surprises him with a full bodied, hungry kiss. Her hand is behind his neck, roughly bringing him to her, and her tongue is rudely invading his mouth. By the time he has managed to collect himself and is debating whether to kiss her back or push her away, she lets go of him with a small shove of her own.

“See you soon,” she grins, and with a wink to the girl, she’s gone.

It is not until later, when Pero has fucked the girl whose name he doesn’t even remember and is about to go downstairs to pay for her services that he notices that his bundle has been switched.

Soledad has all of his hard-earned money.

“Fuck!”

Before the innkeeper can start to argue with him, Pero is out in the dark street, looking in both directions, wondering where to start.

He realizes soon that it doesn’t matter. Soledad will follow him. He can go wherever he wants to and she will show up.

Brows knitted in irritation, Pero begins to walk up the narrow street towards the edge of town. He had hoped for a good night’s sleep and an early start tomorrow but clearly he was reaching for the stars. Damn that woman, and damn him for not realizing what she was up to. Now he’s dancing to her tune whether he wants to or not.

He definitely does not. And he definitely hates being followed, which he knows he is.

Soledad makes herself known in the alley behind a brothel. Pero is not even surprised: it’s just like her to confront him in the darkness behind a house of debauchery. He did, however, not expect to find himself slammed against the wall with a long, sharp dagger pressed against his crotch. A blade at his throat, yes, but almost piercing through the leather of his pants? Not fair.

“Can we get this over and done with?” he asks wearily. “You try to seduce me, when you can’t you taunt me, then you steal another kiss from me, and then you give me my money back so that we can go our separate ways and I can finally get some sleep.”

“You make us sound like an old married couple,” Soledad smiles, her teeth glinting in the moonlight. “Where is the excitement?”

“It stopped being exciting when you almost took my eye,” Pero reminds her and sees her gaze move to the scar over his left eye. Her free hand moves up to lightly trace the rough, embossed strike that cuts his eyebrow in half. His eye remains steadily open when her fingers pass over it, brushing delicately over his lashes.

“Did I ever apologize for this?” Her voice has dropped so low he can hardly hear her.

“Yes. And you didn’t mean it.”

The excited cries of a whore coupling with a client whose loud grunts of “take it, take it” cut through the night from an open window above them. Soledad’s dark, veiled eyes turn a little glassy.

“Do you ever think about that night?” she whispers.

“Only with regret.” Pero’s reply is delivered with a wintery chill but Soledad seems unperturbed. So he cuts her where he knows she will bleed.

“How is our son?”

She blinks, and the blade sinks a breath deeper.

“Alive and well, no thanks to you.”

“Take the blade away, Soledad,” he tells her sharply, his patience wearing thin. “If you go deeper you will cut away the only reason we keep having these little encounters.”

“That would be an awful shame, wouldn’t it?” she tuts.

“I’m tempted to do it myself,” he tells her darkly. Soledad sighs, and the dagger stays were it is.

“Do you hate me so much?” Something sorrowful flashes by in her eyes, so quickly Pero cannot be sure he even saw it.

“Soledad.” His bark finally makes her withdraw the blade and the second he feels the absence of pressure against him, he catches her wrist with one hand and her shoulder with the other. Fast and forceful, he turns her around and throws her against the wall, beating her wrist to the rough bricks until the dagger clatters to the ground.

A scream from above tells him that the whore has either reached her climax or is pretending, most likely the latter. The sound is unsettling, as are Soledad’s full, parted lips so close to his face.

“You used to make me sound like that,” she breathes, a small line between her eyebrows the only sign that he is hurting her arm. “Do you remember?”

“Where is my money, Soledad?”

“Don’t you want to make me sound like that again?” It’s like she doesn’t even hear him. He moves one hand to her throat and, almost tenderly, closes his large fingers around it. Her pupils dilate.

“Or did that serving wench take everything from you?”

“Jealousy becomes you,” Pero grunts with some mirth, satisfied about having her reveal her weakness. Soledad was always possessive. “Can you even fathom how many whores I’ve fucked since I last saw you? How they all moaned when I gave them my cock?”

“And yet, can a single one of them make you feel as good as I can?” she retorts confidently but he can see that she is shaken. The echo of her quick heartbeats pulse against his palm and her neck muscles move when she swallows.

Pero wishes fervently he didn’t know what he knows about her, but he knows her signs of arousal so intimately. He knows that should he reach up under her skirts right now, he would find her ready for him. And if he were to humor her, he knows precisely what she would feel like, how welcoming and ravenous her cunt would be.

He’s getting hard. He may hate her but he can’t not want her. He has wanted her since he was a youngling who fell for her innocent smiles and devilish winks. Even when she almost gouged his eye out for accusing her with bedding others when she told him she was with child, he still wants her. First love never dies.

Love? Hardly. Attraction. Maybe the illusion of love. Witchcraft, even, for there’s nothing natural about her obsession with him, his weakness for her.

Moving up to her, Pero presses the entire length of himself against Soledad, letting her feel his stiffness, tormenting her with the promise of it.

“Pero,” she whines in a choked moan, her eyes fixed on his, pleading, alluring. It drives him crazy and Soledad, of course, knows it. With his free hand, he quickly pulls up her skirts, gathering the fabric in his fist to expose her legs all the way up to the apex of her thighs.

“Hold,” he grunts, and Soledad complies immediately. With her skirts out of his way Pero can easily reach her slick desire, slide his fingers inside her, smear her arousal over her little nub. The mewls he draws out of her are helpless, succumbing, obscene, and they give him impure thoughts about all the ways he could ruin her.

He willruin her.

She is now hanging on to his arm with one hand, the other still holding up her skirts. Her heavy-lidded eyes are unfocused and moans spill out of her open mouth. She is at his mercy, like she was that night a long time ago.

His cock, wedged between his body and hers, is throbbing, craving her wet heat, but he needs her on her knees first. She needs to give him what he wants. So he fucks her with his fingers, hard and fast, relentless until her moans intensify into cries and her hips move against him. Her release soaks his fingers and he hears dripping on the ground.

He pulls out his fingers, lets go of her throat, and as he wipes his digits on her skirt he notes that there is bruising forming on the skin of her neck. Part of him feels remorseful but he bears a much larger scar by her, he cannot be bothered by blemishes that will diminish within the week.

Her eyes blink open and her lower lip is caught between her teeth.

“Pero…” she moans quietly, a rosy blush on her cheekbones.

“The money,” he tells her tightly. He needs his coin purse more than he needs to fuck her.

Soledad rolls her eyes and wets her lips, then sticks two fingers into her mouth and gives a shrill, short whistle, followed by two long ones. Within moments, Pero sees his coin bag tossed out of the window on the second floor, and land heavily clinking on the street. Immediately snatching it to him, he glowers at Soledad.

“I own half of this brothel,” she shrugs. “My associate kept your precious coins safe.”

She returns his scowl. “I have to have a steady income, for my son.” She nods to his coin purse. “It’s clear that what you bring home is not enough for his keep.”

“You were the one who put him in a convent instead of taking care of him yourself,” Pero reminds her nastily. Soledad shakes her head as if she has been telling herself not to get involved, but Pero can see the anger in her dark eyes.

“We can argue about this yet again or we can finish what we started,” she tells him, her voice hard but with a smooth edge to it. “Fuck me and we can go our separate ways.”

The way she says those two words, fuck me, sets off a desperate pull in his groin that makes his cock twitch. She smiles at him like she knows.

“I know you want to. We can go upstairs, get a bed, and you can do whatever you want with me.”

“A bed’s too good for you.” Pero’s heartless comment barely registers in her face. “I’ll have you here.”

There is a stone bench next to the brothel’s back door and that’s where he has her bend over before hitching up her skirts again. He can’t hold back a sigh of relief when he finally gets to release his hard cock from its clothed prison. Lining up against her slick entrance, he pushes inside with a quick snap of his hips, making her cry out. Holding on to her hips, he fucks her hard and fast, his huffed breaths the only sounds he allows himself. He doesn’t want to be like that man upstairs with his filthy speech. To both his horror and satisfaction, Soledad sounds nothing like the whore feigning her climax. She is thoroughly enjoying his brutal assault on her and it makes him feral. He ruts into her even harder, sweat breaking out of every pore on his body, her greedy wet cunt swallowing him, gripping, pulsating. This is not going to take long.

She shakes, wails, bucks her way through another triumphant peak and as Pero’s own climax approaches, he pulls out of her after a split second’s deliberation. Pumping his cock a few times, he curses at how paltry his own hand feels in comparison to that tight, wet hole he still has in front of him, but he sticks to his principles and decorates her backside with thick strings of his seed. Trying to catch his breath and calm down the palpitations of his heart, he feels a fierce kind of satisfaction when Soledad, legs shaking, stands up, the skirt falling down over his seed. He hopes it dries on her skin and leaves a crust that she can feel when she walks. He wants her to feel him when she walks.

She turns around and her face is glowing, glorious, rejuvenated. For a moment, she’s the girl she used to be and Pero is a young soldier who can’t stop looking at her. It makes him want to kiss her softly, explore her mouth, bite her lip...

“Was that so bad?” she smirks through her sated haze, and the spell is broken. Pero glares at her and adjusts his clothes.

“Are we done or are you going to demand money from me as well?”

The blush on her cheeks deepens, but now it is from anger.

“I don’t take money from you for this, I never have and I never will!”

“I mean for the boy.” He enjoys seeing her momentary confusion.

“I don’t want your money and he doesn’t need it,” she finally says, a hard edge to her voice. She straightens her clothing and hair, and Pero finds himself unable to leave. There is a question that’s been gnawing on his mind.

“Does he ask about me?” he finally asks, not looking at her. If the question surprises her it’s nothing compared to his shock at her answer.

“No. He thinks you’re dead.”

With that, she’s gone into the gathering darkness of the alley and Pero is left with his mouth open and a dreadful feeling of never having been so lonely in all of his life.

[thetypedwriter]

All the Young Dudes Fanfiction Review

All the Young Dudes Fanfiction Review by MsKingBean89

So. 

This is a first. 

If you’ve been following this blog for some time, then you know I generally read young adult books and write far too lengthy reviews on them with the occasional outlier of adult fiction, mystery, sci-fi, etc. 

At any given time, I usually have both a physical book that I’ve bought from somewhere that I’m working on (right now it’s Firekeeper's Daughter by Angeline Boulley) as well as a fanfiction that I reserve until before I go to bed (my treat for a day well lived). 

Fanfiction is something that I’ve mentioned copious amounts of times on this blog in varying degrees, but this is the first time I’ll be writing an actual review for one of them on this platform. 

The reason for this is myriad. 

One, this fanfiction called All the Young Dudes is a far-cry from your normal standardized fanfiction of 5-50,000 words-something I can easily consume in a few minutes to a few hours. 

Nope, this behemoth ends on a staggering 526,969 words and 188 chapters, not including bonus chapters and extra in-universe canonical content the author has also written and published. Roughly speaking, if this was actually published onto paper it would be well over 2,000 pages. 

2,000 pages. 

Yeah. And I enjoyed every single moment of it. 

Two, while I read a lot of fanfiction I generally don’t put any of it on this blog because while I’ve dedicated it to published novels, I also usually have very simple feelings about fanfiction. My thoughts run the gambit of: It was good, it was fluffy, it was a train-wreck, so on and so forth. 

Normally my reviews are so long and wordy because I have too many thoughts about the published books that I read and I need an outlet to let them loose. 

Whether because of its longevity or because of its content, All the Young Dudes is a story I find myself having a profusion of thoughts for. Hence, the birth of this review. 

If fanfiction isn’t your thing, feel free to skip this particular review of mine (although fanfiction is a gift to this world and you should really rethink your stance on it if you don’t like it, just saying). 

Third, All the Young Dudes is well written and rivals any actual published content. 

Fourth, because of how extensive this fanfiction is, it took me over a month to read it-time I generally would have been reading something else. Instead of leaving you all hanging for a few more weeks until I finish Firekeeper's Daughter (don’t hold your breath-the book is sort of a slog for me personally right now), I decided to just take the jump and write my first-ever typedwriter review for a fanfiction. 

Fanfiction has been a part of my life for the better part of almost two decades now. It was truly something I found by accident and in retrospect, it’s insane to me that it’s still something that brings me continuous joy and happiness. 

I discovered fanfiction when I was 11-years-old and deeply obsessed with the Harry Potter fandom. 

Now, as an overall disclaimer I completely disagree with J.K. Rowling’s stances of gender and biology and differ wholeheartedly with her views of trans and non-binary individuals. With that said, I still love Harry Potter as a story and while I no longer buy anything that profits J.K. Rowling directly, I still love the fandom and the people in it, including fanworks like All the Young Dudes. 

When I was 11, the seventh Harry Potter book had yet to come out and like many other people in this time period of agony while waiting for 2007 to roll around so that I could find out what happened, I discovered fanfiction as a way to fill in that ache I was so keenly feeling. 

I found myself suddenly immersed in this world of online fiction-both good and bad-but completely entrancing all the same. 

I never left. 

That is to say, I did eventually move onto other fandoms with their own fanfiction cultures, but Harry Potter was still my first in terms of fanfiction and introducing me to the concept as a whole. 

Specifically and maybe oddly, I never found myself curious for actual fanfiction about Harry or Hermione or Ron. In my mind, I already knew what had happened to them and reading about them in fanfiction was redundant. 

In addition, the first fanfiction I just happened to come across was a Lily/James marauder era fanfiction on mugglenet.com

This idea immediately intrigued me as fans as a whole knew next to nothing about the infamous Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs and while I knew everything I needed to about Harry Potter it was intoxicating to think that I could learn about a time before the series had existed and about characters who were important, but off screen. 

I was hooked and devoured as much as I could for most of middle school about the marauders and Lily and James’ romance in particular (I even wrote and published some of my own that will go unmentioned as they are truly really terrible). 

That being said, I haven’t read a Harry Potter fanfiction in years. I grew up and out of the fandom eventually thanks to Twilight and from there I’ve bounced from fandom to fandom as I’ve aged and consumed different things and fallen in love with different characters and different worlds. 

That isn’t to say I’ve forgotten though. 

I still remember my favorite marauder stories, my favorite Sirius Black/OFC (original female character), and my favorite baby Harry drabbles. They made such a huge impression on me and even though it’s been sixteen years, I still recall those stories with fond nostalgia and jubilation. 

Which is why it’s almost ironic that I would return to this particular time period of the marauders with All the Young Dudes. 

In a fashion that’s almost scarily full circle, I happened to be on Youtube one day and saw a recommendation video about this girl reviewing a fanfiction called All the Young Dudes. Now, youtube book reviews aren’t uncommon, but a thirty minute video for a fanfiction? Not your typical sighting. 

So out of pure curiosity, I searched All the Young Dudes fanfiction on Google and low and behold the overwhelming and top results were all for a marauder-era fanfiction by MsKingBean89. Piqued, I clicked on the link in ao3 and thought why not? 

While I’ve mainly been reading in other fandoms recently (BTS, some anime and manga, All for the Game) I had been in a little bit of a slump for finding a really good, really alluring story for some time and really didn’t think I had anything to lose by reading All the Young Dudes, especially as the more research I did, the more I found how popular it was-a plethora of videos on youtube, tiktok compilations, and dozens of fanart posts. 

Plus, it had been so long since I had read anything from my progenitor fandom and the thought of going back was strangely comforting.

Hence the journey of reading All the Young Dudes began and oh what a journey it was. 

Now, that this review is already five pages in, I should probably tell you what on earth All the Young Dudes is actually about. 

The whole story is a marauder-era fanfiction told from Remus Lupin’s POV from the summer of 1971 when Remus is 11-years-old to the summer of 1995 when he is 35-five-years-old. It is an in-depth portrayal of Remus’ time at Hogwarts from year one to year seven and then going all the way up to the start of the second wizarding world, ending around the time Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix begins. 

While already the scope makes this a massive undertaking, the author also includes all canonical content from the original series involving Remus, the Marauders, and the time period and incorporates it into her fanfiction-making it canon compliant from start to finish. 

While a very large portion of this story is not romantic, there is eventual WolfStar (Remus Lupin/Sirius Black) and if you have read the original Harry Potter series...well. You know things don't end up super dandy for these two characters in particular so you know how the story will end before it begins. 

This fanfiction left me speechless for so many reasons. 

The scope and length is frankly unbelievable. This fanfiction was published on March 2, 2017 and it was completed on November 12, 2018.

….how?

How did she manage that? I frankly have no idea, but I am in complete and utter awe at her ability to write content with such a magnitude and actually complete it. She gets an award just for that honestly. 

Not only that, but the fanfiction is actually superbly well-written. I won’t lie and say it’s the most poignant and beautiful piece of literature I’ve ever consumed, but it was consistent in its pacing, characterization, themes, motifs, and structure, which, for 2,000 pages, is an incredible achievement when you think about it. 

Speaking of characterization, everyone was So. Well. Done. 

Remus was such an interesting POV to read from and while he was compliant in every sense of the word-werewolf, prefect, bookish-MsKingBean89 added so much more to his character and fleshed him out so incredibly that it’s truly tragic that he’s not a real person. 

And to that extent, she does this with all of the characters. You see James’ optimism and leadership, Sirius’ arrogance and loyalty, Peter’s jealousy and chess skills. 

Every character was so well-rounded and real. She did an incredible job of taking the bits and pieces from the canon series and using that to build up her own flesh and blood people with motivations, likes, dislikes, dreams, and desires. 

That being said, she also had 2,000 pages to do it sooooooo it would be bad if the characters weren’t fleshed out by the end honestly. 

In addition, I really appreciated that she didn’t just focus on Remus, Sirius, James and Peter. Lily Evans played a critical role in Remus’ school life and after and so did the other Gryffindor girls like Marlene and Mary. 

Too often, the focus is on the boys and their close friendship and while that was a huge focus, we also get to see Remus develop friendships with the girls in his own right and other friends as well that were often OC’s of the author’s. 

Now. OC’s are generally something I dislike. I’m reading fanfiction to read about particular characters that I’ve sought after, not to read about some imaginary cast. However, just like any of the canon characters, all of the OC characters were well-developed and played crucial roles in Remus’ development-while either at Hogwarts or after-and I found myself not minding them in the least. In a few cases (Grant) I actually really loved them. 

The biggest draw for this fanfiction for me was Remus’ time at Hogwarts. It was so well-written and incredibly descriptive and I found myself thrust back into the world of magic so suddenly and seamlessly that it was like I never left. 

MsKingBean89 includes so many intricate details and builds up the world so beautifully that I’d recommend any Harry Potter fan to consume it, just to get some good Hogwarts material out of it. 

Another thing I greatly appreciate about this fanfiction was the slow burn. I’ve read slow burn before (All for the Game trilogy anybody?), but this truly took the cake. Sirius and Remus don’t properly get together until the end of year six going into year seven. That’s over 100 chapters in. 

100 chapters out of 188. 

Meaning that over half of this beast doesn’t have the main pairing even together. For some people, this could be a drawback. You might think to yourself: It takes how long for them to confess their feelings and stop being prats?

A very, very long time. 

However...it didn’t bug me. I like slow burn to begin with, but being along for the ride as Remus goes from being a child to an adolescent with unrequited feelings to being in a relationship with someone he loves is so rewarding and fulfilling that the 100 previous chapters are completely and utterly worth it. 

MsKingBean89 develops them so well and so carefully that the payoff is so sweet and satisfactory that it's enough to bring the tears right then and there. 

The last huge feat of this fanfiction for me was the author’s dedication to canon not just confined to Hogwarts and the Harry Potter books, but also to the time period. Either she lived through the 70’s and 80’s herself or she had done her due diligence when it comes to research because anything from London anti-gay laws to British slang was commonplace in her fic. 

I found it completely amazing how she was able to tie in real-time historical and cultural moments like famous singers and movies playing at the time alongside convoluted muggle politics warring with the wizarding ones. 

I was so blown away by the accuracy and genuine love behind this fic that it often brought me out of my own mind to simply ponder once again how much work this was and how well she was delivering it. 

Even unpleasant things, like homophobia and bigotry, are dealt with in a very carefully constructed way that is aligned with the time period in which the story takes place. 

Unfortunately, everything beautiful is not without flaws and All the Young Dudes is not the exception, although it’s flaws are nary compared to its achievements. 

The few complaints I have with this fic are honestly quite negligible. 

First, there are a few grammatical and punctuation errors. Very few, but I did notice some. 

Next, and again, this complaint is really just me whining, but...the end of the fic was really fucking sad. The end of this whole story took me so much time to complete simply because I didn’t want to read it. 

I know what happened during the first wizarding war and I also know what ended it (James and Lily Potter dying, Harry being shipped off to the Dursley’s, Sirius imprisoned for a murder he didn’t commit, Peter presumed dead) and in one fell swoop Remus lost everything and everyone he ever loved. 

After spending over 1,500 pages of Remus growing to love these people it is absolutely devastating and heart-breaking to see him lose it all. 

The last handful of chapters are just really, really sad and it makes me wonder why MsKingBean89 decided to write it in the first place. Frankly, I don't know why she didn't write about Remus’ time at Hogwarts and stop after graduation because we all know what happens after that and none of it is good. 

Looking back, I wish I could time travel and tell myself to stop at chapter 150. I truly didn’t need to read about the tragedies that happened after that and the hell that all of the characters go through. 

And while it does end on a….sort of kind of maybe positive (?) note with Sirius and Remus reuniting briefly once the events of Harry Potter and Prisoner of Azkaban take place, it was really tainted and bittersweet for me knowing that in a year Sirius would die and Remus would marry his fucking cousin and have a child. 

Urgh. 

I just can’t. 

That being said, I understand it’s not the author’s fault and I’m not saying it is. She wrote a canon compliant fic to the end and it was my choice to continue reading. That being said, she said she ended it before the events of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix because Sirius and Remus are happy and back together and she didn’t want to write what was coming next if she continued. 

I truly, truly get that. 

But in the same vein, why even write the events of the first wizarding world to begin with then? I’m confused with that response as it doesn’t make much sense to me. I felt like ending it right then and there was not a happy ending. They’re together, yes, but at this point they are both shells of who they used to be. Both have severe trauma and PTSD and frankly I don’t even know if I agree with them being together just because they’ve put each other through so much. 

It’s just an interesting choice at the end of the day in terms of the author. 

Once again, however, I truly understand that she can do whatever she wants and that she doesn’t owe anyone anything, especially as she’s writing this for free and just because. So please keep in mind that although I’m complaining, I truly understand how fortunate we are to even have this fic in the first place. 

Okay. 

Secondly, my only other huge complaint is that MsKingBean89 made Remus gay. Not bi, not pan. Gay. 

You could argue that Remus just calls himself gay in the fanficiton as he didn’t know about other kinds of sexuality. You could argue that Remus’ sexuality changes and develops as he ages and experiences trials and tribulations. You could argue that it was a sign of times like so much else in this fic. 

I frankly just found it to be a frustrating choice as the fic is canon compliant and even though it ends before the events of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows we know that Remus eventually marries Tonks and has a baby son named Teddy Lupin. 

How does that make sense?

I tried very, very hard to come up with some sort of feasible explanation for how a gay man would have ended up with the love of his life’s female cousin and truly could not think of one that was not fucked up to some degree. 

Again. I know I’m being nit-picky, but it irked me that she made this choice regarding Remus’ sexuality and essentially ended her fic with Remus stuck in a corner regarding how the series actually ends. 

At the end of the day, all of the negatives are truly, truly not important. I’m just whinging to whine and to express my thoughts, but I do once again understand that MsKingBean89 isn’t profiting from this fic and that she can do what she wants as is her prerogative. 

I hope I was able to express that while I understand that, I can still be frustrated with some of the choices she made. 

To wrap this all up, All the Young Dudes is a masterpiece and is a must-read for anyone who loves Harry Potter, the Marauders, or Wolfstar. I was blown away by the sheer magnitude, the love and care she put into her craft, the slow and deliberate development of all the characters, the beautifully constructed love between Sirius and Remus, and the intricate world-both muggle and magic-that surrounded the story like a cocoon. 

I am so happy I found this fic and I truthfully am floundering at what to do with myself next. If you have any more current Marauder era fics that I’ve missed out in the past eleven years, please don’t hesitate to let me know. 

Recommendation: Go read All the Young Dudes. For weeks, you will cry, you will laugh, you will despair, and you will smile. This fanfiction will make you wish this was canon and in my mind, it now is. 

Score: 8/10

Links:

1. All the Young Dudes on ao3 

2. The Youtube Video about All the Young Dudes that made me aware of its existence 

[snarkwrites]

ssw | sweetpea; wondering what his kiss feels like. | fluff.

NOTES:

Okay, so.. Apparently my brain likes to torment me. Because earlier, I was going to outline the next chapter for my Sweetpea x Andrews!OFC fic Gangsta and my brain threw out a casual, “But have you considered.. Using the Lodge!OFC you were planning to use with Reggie Mantle.. With Sweetpea?” and this kind of.. came.

So.. if enough people are interested, I may be considering actually writing them a fic or doing more of these little things based around them.. and trying to delve more into possibly pairing Alyssa with Reggie? Because when I wrote their oneshot I felt like there was potential there too... Also, this one shot is a direct result of me, watching dirty dancing reenactments on tik tok and my love for the movie + the fact that Riverdale does musicals every season...

Anyway, enjoy?

PROMPTS:

taken from either [ HERE ] or [ HERE ] give or take. It could be one or the other or a mix of both at my own choosing.

the way he says your name / his fingers sliding between your own / wondering what your kiss feels like - these are the inspo prompts used for this oneshot.

FANDOM / CHARACTER

Riverdale / Sweetpea x Lodge!OFC, Marlena

OTHER WORKS SWEET PEA X MARLENA ARE USED IN

None BUT.. That could change, idk..

WARNINGS

Intense sexual tension. Arguing back and forth as a love language until someone snaps. Mutual crushes that turn into something more.. This one is absolutely safe for the kiddos aside from a few swears and the like.. Oh and one barely elaborated on incident of thigh riding / dirty dancing.

TAGGING

There’s absolutely no one on my Riverdale taglist. If you want to be on it, please let me know. Or add yourself to the link below.

OTHER STUFF

[ faq | sfw masterlist - safe for the kiddos but read with caution | tag list ] 

“I swear to God, if she doesn’t give me more, I’m going to fall asleep. Is this really all we could find to participate in the musical for you guys?” My sister's question drew me out of a silent stare war with Sweetpea across the auditorium. He rolled his eyes and I stuck out my tongue at him before turning my attention back to my older sister, sighing as I glanced in the direction of the stage up front. “ She’s not that bad.. I mean at least she had the guts to try out for a part?” I mused quietly, shaking my head. Disappointed at myself because I hadn’t signed up.

Stage fright is one hell of a deterrent. And I knew that if I had tried out, no matter how well I knew the movie we were doing our musical adaptation of this year, when opening night came and those curtains opened and I saw all those people sitting out in the seats? I was going to freeze. I’d completely ruin the show. I didn’t want that.

The best I could do was at least offer to do costumes for Kevin. I told myself that behind the scenes was still helping and being supportive but deep down, ugh.. I wanted to do so much more.

If I were half as brave as my older sister Veronica is when it comes to this kind of stuff… Everyone has their fears though. Mine just happen to be public speaking in front of large audiences. My sister tells me constantly that it doesn’t make sense because I can go all over competing in dance stuff and there’s a crowd there, but.. When I’m dancing, I’m focused on footwork. On steps and the music and the way it makes me feel. I don’t have to speak.

This is also ironic when you take into consideration I am not a shy girl by any stretch of the imagination. I’m actually quite vocal. But when it involves speaking in public?

I freeze. I shut down and in turn, I wind up looking like an idiot.

I was so caught up in my own thoughts that I didn’t notice that Veronica had gotten up out of her seat and walked over, taking the seat right beside Kevin. They were whispering back and forth. I laughed softly because knowing my sister, she was probably telling Kevin that Leah needed to find a better attitude or Kevin needed to find a better person to play Baby Housemann.

Oh, if only I had one tenth of a clue.

My sister came back over, sinking down into the seat next to me. “Feel better now?” I asked her, barely hiding my amusement as I said it. She giggled and nodded. “Much better. I want you to remember how much you love me…” she muttered.

I raised a brow. “What’s that even mean?”

“Just wait.”

“What the hell did you do, Ronnie?”

“You’ll find out, Marlena. Just wait.” Veronica wouldn’t give me any more of an answer than that. Grumbling to myself, I settled back in my seat and tried to focus on the ongoing argument between Leah and Kevin from the stage.

Rolling my eyes at her audacity. Literally anyone could’ve done her part better and she had the nerve to demand Kevin to change everything to fit her? Refusing to work with him on anything? Putting down the script when it was the same one they used in the movie?

Just the thought of it had me shaking my head and muttering to myself about the entitlement and audacity. Veronica gave a soft laugh and leaned in, mocking the way she’d delivered her last line and the fact that she wanted pretty much all her dialogue changed and constantly needed reasons why her character did anything they did.

“Marlena! Hey, Marlena, where are you?” Kevin was calling my name. I looked up from the whispered conversation I’d been having with my older sister Veronica and raised my hand, waiting.

“C’mon. I want to try something. Leah’s just not cutting it for me as Baby.” Kevin called out to me as he gave Leah an irritated dirty look. Leah threw down her script and walked out of the auditorium in a huff. “This is a stupid idea for a musical anyway. Nothing’s gonna top what the seniors are doing. Good luck, jackass.”

Veronica gave me a nudge and with a soft laugh, she leaned in, smiling as she whispered into my ear, “You were born for this, Marlena. Dirty Dancing is your all time favorite movie.”

“Excuse me? I thought we both established it was Crybaby. Then Grease. Then Dirty Dancing.” I teased, standing in a hurry. My sister’s rebuttal to this was to point out with a soft laugh that I definitely had my own special vibe and type of guy. I poked out my tongue at her and turned away. Making my way towards the front of the auditorium where Kevin stood.

Once I was up there, Kevin pressed a copy of our class’s script into my hands. “Congratulations, you’ve been promoted from costumes.” he smirked at me. “I have a feeling about you and this part. As a director, I’m going to go with my gut.”

“But I didn’t sign up..” I shuffled my feet. 

“ Yeah, well, the ones who did from your class obviously don’t care enough to bother showing up to practice or don’t care enough to give their best when they actually bother to come and we’re rehearsing.” Kevin shrugged. Taking his seat.

Alex, the guy who’d been cast as Johnny Castle, walked over. Wrinkling his nose at me as soon as he stood in front of me. Arms folded over his chest as he asked Kevin in a snobbish tone, “So we’re seriously just letting stage crew have parts now, Keller? Is that what this is? I thought you were going to help us make our musical better, not make it a massive failure.”

“Asshole.” I muttered under my breath, rolling my eyes as I stepped up to him, jabbing a finger into his chest. Giving him a piece of my mind because holy hell did his holier than thou attitude ever irritate me, “I’ll have you know, I probably know this movie line for line. I can probably do all the dances blindfolded, in a wheelchair. Who the hell do you think you are anyway? I saw you in Romeo and Juliet. I have never fallen asleep so fast in my entire life.” I smirked as I went quiet, rolling my eyes at him.

Alex chuckled and rolled his eyes right back at me, making the dismissive remark in response, “Did I ask you to speak? Did I address you directly? No. I didn’t. I was talking to the director. Don’t you have costumes to make or something? You’re holding up rehearsals.”

Out towards the back of the auditorium, I heard my sister cheering me on. Clapping and whistling. Telling me to give him hell and telling Alex he was awfully full of himself for someone who got a thumbs down by a New York theater critic over the summer.

I took a deep breath and glanced down at the script in my hands. Starting to read over it. Ignoring the argument between Kevin and Alex for the most part. Just trying to get myself in character while I waited. 

Alex grumbled and stormed back over, standing near me. His posturing tense and a supremely annoyed look in his eyes as he gave me half a second’s glance. Kevin gave the cue to start and Alex read his line first. 

“Look, spaghetti arms. This is my dance space. This is your dance space. I don't go into yours, you don't go into mine. You gotta hold the frame.”

Before I even got a chance to read off my line, Kevin was standing up. Making his way towards us. “You two are supposed to be dancing together. Marlena, you need to stand closer. Alex, you need to deliver the line in more of a teasing tone. Like you’re trying to taunt her. Playful. Not like you’re actually being an asshole. Like you’re flirting with her.”

“She’s not my type.” Alex rolled his eyes as he glanced at me. I glared up at him, a hand on my hip. Dangerously close to exploding all over again. I kept everything I’d been about to say to myself though, and with a deep breath, I listened as Kevin gave us both advice. Smirking to myself a little when he lit into Alex for being a drama queen.

After Kevin finished telling us what to fix, we prepared to try again. I stepped closer. Found myself glancing out in the crowd. My eyes settled on Sweetpea. 

I found him watching the whole thing play out with an amused smirk. His arms folded over his chest. Holding my gaze boldly. Daring me to look away first. I refused. If  I looked away first, that gave him the upper hand. I was not about to give him that.

,, That jackass. Look at him. All smug.. Ugh, I just wanna punch his stupid sexy face.” the thought surfaced and I quickly did my best at shoving it out again. I found myself thinking about a heated argument we’d had in the hallway earlier.

I found myself kind of drawing parallels between him and the character Alex was supposed to be playing but doing a terrible job at playing. I couldn’t work with the performance Alex was giving, he wasn’t giving me anything to work with. 

Somewhere in the midst of it all, I found myself replaying my earlier argument with Sweetpea. Stepping closer to Alex. Doing my best to play at a lack of experience in dance, despite my vast experience and love for it. Getting immersed in the role. Imagining myself as the character Baby.. And not Alex but Sweetpea as Johnny Castle.

Alex delivered his line a second time. His delivery wasn’t much better. Kevin grumbled to himself and made his way over yet again. This time, Kevin’s problem with the scene had absolutely nothing to do with me.

He addressed me first. “Please, please please.. You have to play Baby. You have to.” he gave me a pleading look. “I’m prepared to beg, okay?”

I pretended to mull it over. Smiling as I nodded. “Okay, alright.. I can still do costumes though, right? Because I already have a ton of ideas drawn up..” I shuffled my feet, giving Kevin a pleading look.

“Yeah! Definitely. You’re the only one I trust to do the costumes right, Marlena.” Kevin answered quickly.

He turned his attention to Alex and they got into a heated argument. Alex blamed his performance on me and the fact that I seemed standoffish and that I wasn’t up to his level and shouldn’t even be sharing a stage with him to begin with. Insisting that Kevin should at least give Josie McCoy a chance to play Baby in our play. She already had her hands full with the senior class musical and her performance during intermission and Kevin pointed that out.

“Josie can’t do both musicals and intermission twice, Alex. That’s asking way too much. Even from her, man. Marlena is Baby. You can adapt to that or you’re welcome to leave.” Kevin stood firm in his decision.

Alex eyed me and I stood taller. Smirking up at him. More than a little amused by the entire thing. He chuckled. Shrugging as he tossed down the script he’d been holding in his hands. “Fine. Try to find somebody else to do a better job at playing Johnny. See how that works out. I’m done. I refuse to participate in this mockery.”

He stormed out of the auditorium.

My sister Veronica and Josie McCoy shared a look and a nod. Veronica stood. Josie shot up out of her seat also and the two jogged over to Kevin. Getting him off to the corner of the auditorium. As the three of them whispered back and forth, I stood there, shuffling my feet. Reading ahead in the script.

Taking it all in.

Honestly enjoying the fact that I was going to be playing Baby Housemann in the junior class musical immensely more than I thought I would. ,, until opening night when you’re on stage in front of everyone and you either freeze, bolt out of the room or throw up everywhere.” my mind taunted.

I shoved out the intrusive thought.

Kevin chuckled out loud. Getting so excited that he didn’t keep his voice down when he spoke up. “Your minds, I swear. Yeah, we’re gonna try that. Right now, actually.” Kevin told my sister and Josie. They smirked at each other and as they walked past me, Veronica gave me a wink.

And almost as soon as she did, I braced myself. Because I have the sneaking suspicion that my sister was up to something. And if that something had to do with a certain Serpent reading against me as Johnny Castle?

I was literally going to die. I’d be totally doomed.

,, maybe not.” and even the surprise optimism had me laughing at myself because I knew better.

“Sweetpea, can you come up here, man?” Kevin called out.

I tensed just a little. Took a deep breath. Suddenly I knew exactly what my sister had been up to but my question now was why had Josie taken part in the whole idea? I thought she was dating him? They were hot and heavy at Cheryl’s party a few weeks ago and they went places together a lot …

I prayed for a portal to another dimension to open in the stage and take me out. If my sister has even slightly hinted that I may or may not have feelings for the giant jerk to anyone I swear to God.. I’ll die.

Sweetpea hopped over the chair in front of him and walked down the long aisle, stopping where Kevin sat in the front row. The two were whispering back and forth and more than one time, Sweetpea glanced back at me. Smirking. Chuckling as he listened to what Kevin was telling him and rubbing his chin as he pretended to think something over.

Sweetpea looked over at me and shrugged as he answered Kevin. “I can try. I’m not makin any promises though because I don’t dance and I’ve never seen this movie.”

“Just trust me. You’re as Johnny as Johnny gets, Pea.” Kevin encouraged. I wanted to kick him so badly at that moment. Did he seriously have to encourage Sweetpea? There had to be someone else… anyone else. Someone I didn’t have a massive crush on and yet also want to strangle.

I pretended to stick my finger down my throat and gag, as per usual when Sweetpea locked eyes with me again as he walked towards where I stood..

 ,, because God forbid you let him even get an ounce of suspicion that you have a crush on the guy.” my brain was at it again with the taunting. I pushed it all down deep and took a deep breath or two.

“You did this just to be an asshole.” I muttered.

“No, I did this because Kevin’s my friend. Not everything I do is about pissing you off, princess.” Sweetpea chuckled as he said it. Adding in a quieter tone, “Just because you’re Marlena Lodge… That doesn’t make everything about you.”

My jaw set and I glared up at him. Taking a deep breath or two. Reminding myself that despite Sweetpea now reading as Johnny Castle, I still loved this movie and I wanted our class’s play to be worth watching. That I couldn’t mess this up. I couldn’t let Sweetpea taunt and torment me into messing this up either.

I didn’t want to disappoint Kevin because he was one of my best friends. He was depending on me to at least try to do my best here.

Kevin gave the signal for us to start from the top of the scene.

I stepped closer. My body brushing against Sweetpea’s. Sweetpea mirrored this and grabbed hold of my arms, pulling them out in front of me just like Patrick Swayze did in the actual movie as he recited the line.

And the tone in his voice, oh my god.

“Look, spaghetti arms. This is my dance space. This is your dance space. I don't go into yours, you don't go into mine. You gotta hold the frame.”

I responded with my line. Stepping closer, even throwing in an accidental mis-step on the top of his foot on my own. 

Kevin continued to sit, watching us rehearse. By the time we got to the scene where Johnny is telling Baby that he got fired, I could feel more people’s eyes on us. And I swallowed hard, trying not to focus on being watched and how that felt, but instead, on the script. On what I had to say and how I felt like it needed to come across.

And maybe, in my own mind, I was imagining how I’d act if I were in Baby’s shoes. Having just argued with my father about the guy I was in love with only to turn and find out that despite my own optimism at convincing the guy to do the right thing, nothing worked out the way I wanted at all.

Sweetpea must have caught on to my anxiety because he muttered quietly, “You good, princess?” as he covertly brushed his hand against mine. Clearing his throat to get my attention and keep me from getting nervous and blanking out or bolting off the stage.

I gazed up at him a second or two, finally nodding. Managing to ground myself somehow and I tried my best to convince myself it was not because Sweetpea’s fingers laced through mine. Almost as if he’d caught hold of my hand to keep me from leaving.

,, He’s just doing that because it’s in the script. You’re supposed to be having a heated discussion and you’re about to walk away upset. That’s the only reason he grabbed your hand. It has nothing to do with the fact that you kind of freaked out a little and lost your focus.” I reminded myself grimly as I caught up to where we were on the page and took a deep breath, preparing for my turn to speak.

As I delivered my next line, “So I did it for nothing.I hurt my family, you lost your job anyway-- I did it for nothing!” I wanted to disappear into the stage floor when my sister stood up in her chair, clapping and whistling. But the way I said it sounded so wistful. Disappointed and bitter. Like I was truly hurting.

Sweet Pea said his line. “No, no, not for nothin', Baby! Nobody has ever done anything like that for me before.” and I paused. Staring up at him. Blown away because he sounded so sincere too. Like for a second or two, this was really taking place and it wasn’t just some silly rehearsal. Like he meant what he was saying.

But I knew he didn’t. We tolerate each other at best. At our worst, we’re at each other’s throats constantly. Finding any and all excuses to rip into each other or push the other’s buttons. Because it’s just what we do.

But his tone. The look in his eyes when he delivered the line. The way his eyes fixed on me, searching. Waiting.

“It’s your turn, princess.. Cat got your tongue?” he muttered under his breath to draw me out of my own inner turmoil.

I took a deep breath and scanned the page. Finding my next line. “You were right, Johnny. You can't win no matter what you do!” and I could feel him staring as I said it. Biting his lip when I lazily punched at his chest because it felt like the right thing to do in the heat of the moment to show how upset the character was. I shook my head and dropped my eyes. “You were right.” I muttered in a quieter tone.

Sweetpea reached out, rough fingertips gripping my jawline. Guiding my eyes back up to meet his as he replied with the next line, “You listen to me. I don't wanna hear that from you. You can!”

And again, it sounded so real. Emotional. Like we were really having this argument. I was really getting into this. Probably a little too much for my own good. I sighed and shook my head sadly. Biting my lip as I stepped away a little and continued to shake my head, arguing back, “I used to think so.” and after a second or two, adding in a quieter tone, “Now I don’t know anymore.” even though it wasn’t in the script.

Sweetpea was staring at me. Thoughtful. Intent. Almost as if he were actually seeing me and not all the stupid things he’d written me off as from the word go on the first time we met. He cleared his throat and that shit-eating smirk was back again. “Not too bad, huh?”

“Jackass.” I muttered, mostly to myself. Still a little dazed.

Kevin called for a break and made his way over.

“Okay, we’re going to take this all the way from the beginning tomorrow. I wish I’d done this sooner. We’re going to have to practice the lift next. Because the lift is iconic. We have to pull that off or I’m gonna want to punch myself in the throat.” Kevin was excited, rambling away a mile a minute.

Sweetpea spoke up. “What about my part in the senior musical?”

“You can do both. We’ll move the junior musical to a different night. You have to do this. C’mon…”

Sweetpea grumbled and finally muttered with a shrug, “Okay, alright. Fine. Shit. I’ll do it. But I’m not wearing tights, are we clear?”

“You really haven’t seen the movie at all… have you?” I scoffed as I gazed up at Sweetpea. He mimicked me and shrugged. “I’ve seen bits of it. But I know one thing and that’s dancers wear tights. I’m not wearing tights. Not happenin.”

“For your information, you big idiot, Patrick Swayze does not wear tights a single time in this movie. At least not that I remember and I’ve seen it a thousand times... Suit and tie, maybe.”

Sweetpea grumbled and raised a brow.

“Not for the whole movie, damn it.. Black jeans and a black shirt will suffice for most of it. You can even wear your leather jacket, you big man-baby. Johnny Castle wears one in the movie.” I answered. Stepping closer to him to sort of get a visual read on his measurements so that when the time came I at least kind of had an idea of what worked. Sweetpea chuckled, dragging his fingers through his hair as he gazed down at me. “See something you like, princess?”

“I’m trying to figure out what I’m gonna need for your costume, dingus.” I replied as calmly as possible.

“Ya know, you could always just measure me… Right? Or ask me my size?”

“Oh you’d enjoy that entirely too much. And I’d have to touch you. No, nope. No thanks, I’ll pass.”

“I’m gonna have to touch you anyway. That lift or whatever it was that had Kevin rambling just now.” Sweetpea barely hid his amusement as he stepped even closer. A hand at my hip. Lingering.

For a second or two, I was lost in his eyes and totally oblivious to anything going on around us and then Kevin shattered that by starting the last song of the musical and calling for everyone to take their places.

And from the crowd, Fangs spoke up.

“Hey babe.. What if we got all the extras from the clubhouse scene to come in through the crowd? Just like the movie?” Fangs was smirking at both Sweetpea and I as he spoke up. Enjoying this entire situation way too much.

“Fangs, you brilliant and beautiful man, this is exactly why I love you so much.” Kevin smirked as he rubbed his chin and called out. “Okay, if you were an extra in the clubhouse scene, go to the doors of the auditorium. When Fangs gives the signal, you’ll come in. Dancing.”

He turned to Sweetpea. “You go with them.”

Sweetpea managed to break the staredown we had going on and he nodded. Grumbling as he walked towards the front of the auditorium.

Everything went pretty well until we got to the part where I was supposed to run to Sweetpea and he was supposed to lift me over his head. I took off, running towards him.

I missed the mark. Wound up with my legs wrapped around his waist, clinging for dear life while he staggered back just a little. Both of us arguing about whose fault it was that we messed up.

Kevin cleared his throat.

“You guys need more practice. Maybe you could rehearse together?”

Sweetpea and I glanced at each other, mulling it over.

“Fine.” Sweetpea ground out through a jaw tightly clenched. A glance at Fangs revealed that the reason he agreed without a huge fight was probably something to do with the way Fangs was giving him a demanding look.

“Fine.” I answered. Swallowing hard.

Trying to pull myself together because frankly, I was still all sorts of stirred up from the way he’d actually caught me and the fact that no, I hadn’t wanted him to put me back on my feet at the end, either.

I spoke up again. “We can do it at the bunker.” I suggested. Trying to think of a neutral place that didn’t favor either of us heavily. A place we could hopefully be alone and focus. And probably scream and shove and storm away to cool off if things got too heated.

“8 work for you or does daddy let you out past your bedtime, princess?” Sweetpea taunted, smirking at me when I glared and rolled my eyes.

“ I do what I want.” I scoffed at his parting jab. 

From behind me, my sister spoke up. “Are you ready, Marlena?” as she looked back and forth between Sweetpea and I with an amused grin.

“Yeah. We need to get going.” I answered.

 As my sister and I walked out of the auditorium, my sister gave a soft laugh. “That wasn’t so bad, huh? I knew you could do it.”

“Oh shut up.” I grumbled, managing a weak smile. “We haven’t made it to the night of yet. Don’t jinx this. Remember what happened last time I had to get up in front of people and talk in any capacity?”

“Marlena, that was kindergarten. Maybe it’ll be different.”

“Veronica, I threw up everywhere. And not gracefully, either. It was a full on projectile vomit.”

“That was something. The chemistry between you and Sweetpea in there. I felt like I was actually watching the movie.”

“He’s an ass. And he hates me, remember?”

“Yeah, well.. It didn’t look that way to me, Marlena. If he hated you, he wouldn’t have been standing so close the entire time… or the way he grabbed your hand?” my sister questioned.

I shrugged it off. “Can we change the subject?”

“Why? Afraid I might be right?” my sister teased, as usual.

TIME SKIP

“Okay, if he’s not here in ten minutes, I’m leaving. This place gives me the creeps.” I muttered to myself almost the exact second that I managed to find a spiderweb with my face and shriek about it.

Low chuckling from behind me had me turning. Finding myself body to body with Sweetpea as he tried not to laugh.

“Do you talk to yourself a lot or do I make you that nervous, princess?” he taunted. I gave a light shove and stepped away, pouting up at him. Quick to argue that he didn’t make me nervous, not at all, not even a little.

Despite knowing that the truth of the matter was yes. Yes, he made me extremely nervous. Because he was so distinctly my type and I just longed for what I knew wouldn’t ever work out between us because we were entirely too different.

“In other words, yes. I make you that nervous.” Sweetpea’s jaw set in a line and I flinched a little. Not wanting to fight with him.

I quickly changed the subject, nodding to a little tv and dvd player I’d rigged up earlier and the brown paper bags with Pop’s logo on the front.

“We need to rehearse. Not whatever this is.” Sweetpea was still irritated.

“Yes, well.. You’re never going to realize just how huge a part of the story Johnny Castle is until you’ve seen the movie.”

Sweetpea rubbed his chin in thought. “How long is this fucking movie?”

“Maybe two hours? C’mon… Or do you have a hot date waiting?” -the hint of jealousy that crept into my tone was enough to make me tense up a little. Pray to God he hadn’t picked up on it. Lucky for me, he didn’t seem to, instead, he was already digging into the grease stained paper bags, grabbing himself a burger and fries.

Sprawling on the little twin sized bed.

I dug out my own food and sat down, close to the edge of the bed, careful not to sit too close to him because I didn’t want to crowd him or annoy him or give him the wrong impression.. Or in my case, the right impression though I’d die before admitting that to him. 

After hitting play on the DVD player, the opening title splashed across the screen and I smiled, settling into my chosen seat just a little more comfortably.

About thirty minutes into the movie, I could feel his eyes fixed on me. I turned to look back at him, a brow raised. “What?”

“You know every single line.”

I felt my cheeks burn a little, shrugging it off as I nodded. Answering through a mouth full, “When we were little.. Veronica and I used to watch this movie whenever it was raining or we were sick. We’d get cozy in one of our rooms with snacks and blankets and we’d just like… imagine life being that simple. Doesn’t help that Johnny Castle is - to quote my sister, “Totally your kind of man.” “ I gave a sheepish laugh and took a handful of my fries, raking them through my milkshake.

Sweetpea rose to sit. Leaning in a little. Extending his arm and wiping his thumb over the corner of his mouth as he cleared his throat. “You had some milkshake…” before falling silent all over again. Staring at me for seconds that seemed to stretch infinitely. It  felt like everything fell away. All that remained was that thick tension. The flickering of the candles I’d lit earlier against the wall. The tension got to me. It had everything I wanted to say but couldn’t find the nerve threatening to come out.

“I don’t bite, ya know.” he muttered quietly. Pulling away a little. That look in his eyes again. 

It hit me. He honestly thought I disliked him. Or thought that I was better than him. Nothing could be further from the truth and realizing how he must have felt and what probably fuelled most of the comments and the arguments between us was the fact that he thought I viewed him as a lesser person somehow… that really got to me.

“I, uh.. I didn’t want to crowd you.” I managed to get the words out after a few seconds. Not daring to look at him. Desperate for a rewind button so maybe I could go back in time to when I first met him and salvage everything.

Desperate to tell him how I really felt.

Especially when I remembered what Veronica mentioned earlier about the way Josie just shut him out.

“Oh.”

The movie caught our attention again. After a minute or two of sitting poised right at the edge of the bed like I’d been and longing to really get comfortable, I settled in the sliver of space next to him. Trying not to think about the fact that the bed being as small as it was gave us literally no space and we were forced to touch.

Thirty minutes passed. Sweetpea sat up.

“ I think I get it now.” he muttered.

“Yeah?” I was getting lost in his eyes all over again.

“Mhm.” he affirmed. 

I sat up and so did he. “It’s cheesy as hell, but… I get it. Kinda know how the guy feels.” Sweetpea’s gaze settled on his hands and he chuckled to himself, the sound almost bitter.

“I’m sorry. I heard about you and Josie breaking up.”

“We didn’t. You can’t break up with someone if they never wanted to be with you to begin with.” Sweetpea answered. He tensed up a little and I sighed. Wishing I hadn’t opened my mouth.

That tension between him and I doubled.

In an attempt to make things just a little lighter, I slipped off the bed. Held out my hand.

Sweetpea eyed it warily. 

I insisted, “Oh come on, please? Just one dance. You did say we had to practice. And I dance, so I can definitely tell you that if we don’t at least somewhat connect, we’re going to be awkward and it’s going to look bad.”

Did I really just do that?

The scene where Baby goes to Johnny’s cabin and spends the night was just beginning and I swallowed hard as soon as I glanced back up at Sweetpea and realized that he was staring at the television in a daze. I cleared my throat to get his attention.

“You want me to dance with you.. Like that. Okay.” Sweetpea towered over me. Closing the space between our bodies before I had a chance to back out of what I asked of him. His hands went straight to my hips. Holding my body in place against his as he chuckled, looking down at me. “You’re the one who wanted to dance, princess.”

“Yeah.” I managed to stammer. Breathless. Helpless thanks to the way his fingers dug into my hips and held me against him. But when they started to move up and down my sides, oh… I felt myself shiver at the touch. Melting against him on my own. I’d been trying my best not to give in and do that.

I trained my eyes on the front of his plaid shirt because I didn’t dare look up at him.

His leg slipped between mine and I bit my lip. Breath catching in my throat all over again as I rubbed myself against his thigh. My usual careful,guarded filter was gone.

All I cared about was doing whatever I could to show Sweetpea that what he thought I felt towards him wasn’t true.

His hands settled across my ass. Fingers digging in as he gasped quietly. A groan slipping out as he muttered in a daze, “You really are a good dancer, huh?”

“I, uh… I compete. My parents are huge on pushing my sister and I into competitive activities, whether we want it or not.” I babbled.

It must have bothered him that I wasn’t looking at him because he gripped my jaw, guiding my gaze up. “But you like dancing. I can tell.”

,, maybe it’s just dancing like this with you.” the thought came. I stopped just shy of actually letting it slip out. I sighed and smiled, nodding in agreement. Because that was so much easier than everything else I wanted to do or say. ,, besides,” my brain continued to taunt, “why on Earth is he going to want you when he could have literally anyone else?” and the thought had me pouting a little.

I didn’t think he was aware of it.

“What?” he asked. Tensing a little. Loosening his grip on my body just a little bit. Seeming as if he wanted to step away from me. Before I had the chance to talk myself out of it, I melted against him all over again. Raising my arms to slip them around his neck.

“Nothing.” I answered after a few seconds.

“You were pouting again. That’s kind of a thing you do when you’re upset, you’re not getting your way or you’re annoyed.”

The fact that he picked up on that had me raising a brow. Scoffing. About to argue that I didn’t pout all the time, but keeping quiet because I knew he was right.

But how -and when, had he noticed?

“Dreading the fact that I’m going to get up there on stage and see everyone watching and I will panic.” I muttered quietly because a half truth was better than the whole truth or a complete lie.

If I told him the real reason I’d been pouting, well.. That would’ve opened up a can of worms that I’m not sure about opening. God I want to. But if I just lay it all on the line…

I can’t.

Sweetpea raised a brow. He started to say something but he went quiet on me. Thinking.

“But you’re so loud.” he finally spoke up.

I pouted up at him, giving his chest a light smack. “I ought to step on your foot, sir.”

“Won’t hurt. Boots are steel toe.” Sweetpea smirked as he said it. Sticking his tongue out at me.

He dipped me and I hadn’t been expecting it. I gasped and he chuckled. “Not so bad at this dancing shit, hmm?” he questioned as he pulled me back up. His hands moved up and down my back before settling on my ass again. Squeezing when I rocked myself over his thigh just a little before I could stop myself because what he was doing was getting me worked up.

I sighed a little. Melting all over at the way he touched me and held me. Admitting with a quiet laugh, “You’re actually not. And I can teach you more..” trailing off and going quiet.

“You can, huh?”

His voice was this perfect mix of gravel and silk and I had to clench my thighs just a little. Found myself praying to whatever God might exist that I didn’t get too excited and leave a wet spot behind on his jeans. Because that would definitely seal the embarrassment and awkwardness factor. And I didn’t want that.

I was staring intently at his chest again when he tucked his fingers beneath my chin and tilted my head. “Careful what you say, princess. I might actually take you seriously.”

“I’m being serious. I don’t mind at all.” I babbled and instantly, I wanted to punch myself in the throat for it. This awkward version of myself wasn’t me but for whatever reason, Sweetpea seemed to bring it out. All my insecurities seemed to come rushing to the surface. Taunting me with the knowledge that there was no way he’d ever be interested in me beyond the convenience of a good screw. Knowing that even if he were, something would go wrong somehow.

He dipped me again. This time when he pulled me back up, our faces bumped against each other and when my mouth brushed against his, I couldn’t stop the quiet gasp that came. His fingers dug into my body just a little more and we were staring at each other.

Dazed.

“Pea?”

“What’s up, princess?” he muttered after a second or two. Blinking as if he were trying to focus.

“Nothing.” I muttered. Losing my nerve and my train of thought. Pushing down everything I’d been about to say all over again.

“ Why do you do that? Just say whatever it is you want to say.”

“Oh, I don’t think you want me to do that.” I muttered, mostly to myself. My gaze trained on anything and everything but his. He guided my face up and licked his lips, his eyes darting down. Settling on my mouth. “What if I do?” he muttered in response after a few seconds.

“Okay, fine. I was wondering what..” I trailed off. Frustrated. Laughing at myself and shaking my head. “Forget it. It’s stupid.”

“Tell me, woman. Damn.” his tone was firm and I swallowed hard as I looked up at him.

He was going to keep at it until I said something and right now, I was drawing a blank on any other convenient things I could say that were less controversial than what I’d stopped myself from saying.

,, maybe if you say it, he’ll know that you don’t hate him.” the thought came.

I took a deep breath. Shaky.

“I was wondering what your kiss feels like.” I muttered, my voice dropping so low that for a second, I didn’t think he heard me.

His jaw dropped. One hand left my ass and raised. Dragging through thick dark hair as he tugged. His mouth opening and closing.

“What? You kept asking… I.. You don’t have to. I didn’t want to make it weird.” I babbled nervously. When he started to chuckle, I looked up at him with a brow raised. “Gee, thanks.” I pouted.

Stepping away. Because if I didn’t put some distance between us right then, I was going to keep digging the hole deeper.

He reached out and grabbed me by the hips, pulling me against him all over again. Rocking himself into me clumsily. His face inching closer and closer to my own. Our mouths were on a collision course and neither of us bothered to stop it from happening. His lips settled against the corner of my mouth clumsily. His tongue traced the outline of my lips and I shivered and melted against him like I’d been before. Clinging. My arms around his neck again. Fingers toying with the hair at the nape of his neck before settling my hand across to rest and pull his mouth back against mine.

My lips parted, granting him access. His tongue slipped past my lips and he melted into me this time. Deepening the kiss. Using his grip on my ass to pull me up his body slightly. I sighed as the kiss broke, my tongue rolling over kiss swollen lips. Staring at him as I tried to wrap my head around what just happened.

How badly I wanted it to happen again.

“Well?”

I bit my lip. Trying to formulate words. Anything. My brain must have short-circuited because I came up with nothing, despite all the opening and closing of my mouth as I attempted to answer.

I’m not sure what possessed me to do it or why I thought it was a good idea, but I was grabbing hold of the back of his neck. Pulling his mouth back against mine greedily. Taking total control of the kiss this time around. Making him chuckle into the kiss. 

As we pulled apart to breathe, he repeated his question.

“Better than my wildest dreams.” I blurted out quietly.

“So you dream about kissing me?” he asked, tucking his fingers beneath my chin so that I couldn’t do what I tended to when a subject got to be too uncomfortable for me… I swallowed hard and admitted in a hushed tone, “Among other things.”

He growled out the word “Fuck.” and pulled me up his body completely. Deepening the kiss to a point where I almost forgot to breathe a time or two. I could feel myself getting light-headed. The kiss broke and we pulled apart, breathing heavily. I melted against him, dazed. Still trying to get my head around the turn the night had taken.

“It’s getting late, princess.”

“It is.”

“I should probably get you home.”

I pouted a little. Holding onto him just a little tighter. “Unfortunately.” I muttered.

He scooped me off the table and carried me out of the bunker. Sitting me on the back of his motorcycle. I wrapped my arms around him and leaned against his back, the Serpent patch scratching at my skin a little.

The drive back to the Pembrooke took almost no time and as soon as his motorcycle stopped at the curb, I pouted a little. Rolling my eyes at the literal ivory tower.

“I’ll see you tomorrow.” I asked as I slipped off the back of his motorcycle.

 He grabbed hold of my hips, pulling me against him. Leaning down and stealing another deep kiss. “Mhm. Definitely, princess.”

I practically floated up the stairs leading into the lobby of the building. And I leaned against the wall, waiting on the elevator. Trying to pull myself together. Smiling like an idiot.

[whatstruthgottodowithit]

The Other Evans Girl [Part Six] OLD VERSION

Fandom: Harry Potter [Marauder’s Era]

Pairing: Sirius Black/Original Female Character, Sirius Black/Daisy Evans, James Potter/Lily Evans,

Characters: Sirius Black, Original Female Character, Daisy Evans, Lily Evans, Remus Lupin, James Potter, Harry Potter, Severus Snape, Minerva McGonagall, Alice Fortescue, Frank Longbottom, Marlene McKinnon, Albus Dumbledore, Voldemort, Peter Pettigrew, Lucius Malfoy, Bellatrix LeStrange, Walburga Black,

Word Count: 2231

Rating: Mature

Summary: Hogwarts is a safe haven, a home for many. But it’s often a place where heartache, love and complex emotions dwell and none know that better than the Marauders. Lily Evans just wants to make it out as a successful witch though the oncoming war and the ongoing advances of James Potter threaten that. Daisy Evans, her twin, has other goals. Join the Evans sister’s as they make their way through Hogwarts, prepare for war and eventually find love.

Tags/ Warnings: My Writing, The Other Evans Girl, Sirius Black Fic, Sirius Black/You, Sirius Black x OFC, OFC, Marauders Fic, Friends, Hate, Love, Angst, Fluff, Kissing, Implied Sex, Potters, Babies, Weddings, Dating, Friends to Loves, Slow Burn, Eventual Sirius and Daisy, Teenage Angst, Insecurities, Fighting, Arguing, Bullying, War, First Wizarding War, Marauders, Marauder’s Era, 1970’s, 1970s Fashion, Canon Character Deaths, Loss of Virginity, Crying, Voldemort, The Other Evans Girl, Marauders Era to war, Multiple Parts, Eventual Sirius Black, Sirius Black x Reader Fic, Sirius Black Fic, James Potter is a bit of a dick but we LOVE it, Hogsmeade,

Notes: This is a Sirius/character fic. Its going to be several parts because i have no shame hope you like

LINK TO AO3 // LINK TO PINTEREST // LINK TO ALL PARTS

Daisy had a stitch, a burning ache in her side that she couldn’t quell as James barrelled ahead up the lane outside of Hogsmeade, telling her all about the town and the historic buildings they had just passed. Not that she was listening to a word he was saying given that the steak and ale pie and the two butterbeers she had downed when they had been in the three broomsticks were now lying heavy on her stomach as she walked, making it hard to breathe. Fortunately for Daisy as they came to the fringes of an open area of woodland she was provided some respite as James started to slow down. He still kept ahead of her though, walking towards the barbed wire fence in front of them and stopping just short of it so that he could look out over the vast fields in front of him. Daisy caught up quickly, trying to hide her puffing and panting as best she could.

‘Great isn’t it?’ James asked. He was flushed too but Daisy reckoned that was more from the bitter wind blowing over the horizon than being out of breath. ‘Yeah,’ Daisy said though she didn’t really know what she was supposed to be looking at. There were hills and trees all around and in the distance a small wooden house. She couldn’t see it in its entirety but it looked like no more than a shack, in an immense state of decay. James seemed to be thrilled by the sight and though Daisy did agree it was very scenic it wasn’t exactly the romantic landscape she had pictured. ‘They say it’s the most haunted house in Britain,’ James said with a satisfied smile that had an air of something hidden Daisy couldn’t place. ‘Wow,’ she said though she wasn’t all that impressed. ‘Yeah, my dad said it’s been here hundreds of years though I don’t know how true that is. The villagers call it the shrieking shack,’ James said. ‘Surely it would have fallen down by now?’ Daisy reasoned coming to stand next to him at the fence. She could feel her heartbeat thumping in her ears as the boy leaned in towards her. His face was close enough to her that she could smell what little aftershave he had used. She moved her feet a bit closer, so they were almost touching arms.

‘Maybe the spirits keep it in good nick,’ James said with a smile. ‘I thought ghosts only haunted where they lived. Who the hell would be living in that old thing?’ Daisy chuckled. ‘Good point Evans,’ James chuckled, ‘you’re a smart cookie you know.’ ‘Pfft, I wish,’ Daisy said, turning to the fence as she spoke, ‘Tuney used to say I’d never make it to high school because I daydreamed too much to be smart.’ ‘Tuney?’ James said curiously. ‘My older sister.’ ‘You have another sister?’ he asked and Daisy nodded. ‘Petunia, she’s not a witch so don’t worry you’ve not missed her swanning around Hogwarts. Not that you’d want to meet her anyway,’ Daisy said scathingly. ‘So she’s not going to be lurking in the bushes when we walk back and to find out what we’re getting up to?’ he said. ‘No,’ she giggled. ‘What about Lily?’ James asked. Daisy’s mood soured at the mention of her sister’s name before she felt a pang of guilt at the idea of her sitting alone in their dormitory.

‘It’s her choice,’ Daisy thought before realising she’d been silent far too long and that James was watching her intently for an answer.

‘Huh?’ Daisy said pretending as if she didn’t hear him. James dropped his gaze and she noticed he tried to hide the small blush that spread across his cheek. ‘Will Lily be spying on us? I didn’t see her up at the courtyard…’ James said, trying to appear nonplussed. ‘She’s staying at the castle today… why?’ Daisy said, desperately hoping he’d let the topic of her sister go. ‘No reason, I just thought with it being the first trip she might come to the village,’ James said. He wasn’t looking at her, and his fingers were playing with the cold metal of the wire fence in front of him, a pensive and sad look on his face. Daisy watched him for a moment trying to figure out why he seemed so disappointed though it was made evident as he asked in a hopeful tone, ‘do you think she’ll come next time?’

When Daisy didn’t say anything James glanced at her yet he didn’t add to his comment hoping that she’d answer. Daisy could’ve answered but she was more interested in the question that was dancing on the tip of her tongue as she watched him. After a moment she decided to be brave and voice her swirling thoughts as she asked, ‘James…why did you ask me to Hogsmeade today?’ ‘What?’ James said finally looking her way. ‘Why did you ask me out?’ she said. ‘I don’t know,’ he said, ‘I just thought you might make a good date?’ ‘But why?’ she probed folding her arms across her chest. She knew she should’ve left it well alone, that she should’ve been grateful he’d asked her out anyway no matter the circumstances and yet it didn’t sit right with her. She needed to know why. Lily had always said that was her problem. She always had to know everything, no matter the cost. ‘I don’t know. Look what does it matter? I asked you, you came, right?’ he replied tightly. ‘Yeah, but did you ask me because you wanted to go with me or because you wanted to make Lily jealous?’ she said. ‘Don’t be ridiculous,’ he scoffed. He walked away from her then and stepped down the small slope they had been atop before he started walking back towards the village but Daisy was hot on his tail.

‘Am I being ridiculous?’ she said catching up with him and standing in his path, ‘because you’ve never shown the slightest bit of interest in me until the other week and I want to know why. Because for the past couple of years I’ve seen you do nothing but flirt with my sister and yet you chose me and that doesn’t add up. Not to mention you brought an entourage on what was supposedly a date.’ ‘Can’t you just be thankful I asked you out,’ he sighed. Daisy baulked at the suggestion. ‘Excuse me?’ she said incredulously, whatever soft spot she had for the lad fading as her temper was sparked, his words acting like a red rag to a bull. ‘Okay, so I didn’t ask you out because I like you per se but you like me right? You get to date me and Lily gets jealous it’s a win-win,’ he explained. ‘What and I’m just to be thankful for whatever bit of affection the great James Potter throws my way,’ she sneered. ‘Look I didn’t mean it like that,’ he said reaching out to put a hand on her arm but she yanked it out of his way instinctively reaching for her wand as she went and taking a defensive stance, pointing it towards James who backed up immediately putting both hands up in front of him in surrender. From nearby the two of them heard the snap of a twig and the sound of footsteps on the cold hard ground. Daisy whipped her head around. They were the only people out here for miles and yet she knew that noise was neither of them.

‘What was that?’ she said. ‘I’m sure it’s nothing,’ James said but she could tell from his face that he wasn’t being truthful. ‘You’re lying,’ she said and before the boy could protest she flourished her wand and muttered, ‘revelio.’

There were a couple of hushed murmurs and the sound of material hitting the ground before Daisy looked around and found Remus, Sirius and Peter standing just on the edge of the tree line near the pair. Sirius bent down hastily to retrieve a mass of silky material which he tucked inside his pocket before she could see what it was. Daisy didn’t know what to think, it was clear the boys had been spying on them though she couldn’t fathom how. Were invisibility charms a thing?

More to the point they had heard everything she had said and they weren’t likely to keep their mouths shut, especially not Peter. She figured by the end of the day everyone would know that James Potter had asked her out as a way to make her smarter, prettier, older sister jealous. She was mortified even more than that she was angry and she couldn’t stop herself. The words tumbled from her mouth and hung in the freezing cold air between them.

‘Is that it then? You ask the lonely loser out to Hogsmeade and bring your friends along to take the story back to the masses so you can make her sister snog you? Or what were you going to do? Kiss me and get them to take a picture? That would really rile Lily up eh?’ she shouted. ‘Of course not,’ James interjected, ‘they were just making sure we were okay-’ ‘Bollocks!’ Daisy said, throwing a glare towards the three boys who had crept ever closer to the duo. ‘It’s not bollocks!’ James protested. ‘James is telling the truth!’ Peter added though he was swiftly thumped in the ribs by Sirius’ elbow and soon fell quiet. ‘So go on then. What was the notorious James Potter going to do with me out at the shrieking shack?’ Daisy said angrily, folding her arms back across her chest as she scowled at him. James’ cheeks turned bright red at her questioning and for once she saw him falter, stammering over his words as he said, ‘I-I-I just thought we could have a chat!’ ‘You mean you thought you’d be able to get all the info you want about Lily because I’m so hopelessly into you?’ Daisy corrected. James dropped his gaze to the floor which simultaneously created a pit in Daisy’s stomach as she realised she was right. He really thought he could get Lily this way. He had truly thought that by using Daisy’s fondness for him he’d be able to get to her sister, that Daisy was nothing more than an in to get to her twin. That hurt on principle but even more so because she knew deep down that it wasn’t an outrageous plan. She knew that for all of her protesting her sister was just as interested in the messy-haired teenager as she was because she had seen Lily’s face in the library that day. Even if Daisy wasn’t a threat she was still upset James was taking her.

‘I can’t believe you,’ Daisy said, turning to walk away though she stopped as she felt a hand on her wrist pulling her back around to face him. ‘Look I’m sorry I hurt your feelings,’ James said. ‘No you’re not,’ she spat, ‘you’re not sorry because you have no idea what it’s like. How could you? I mean look at you. Look at all of you for that matter. You don’t know what it’s like to be me. You’re popular, attractive, smart and the whole goddamn school eats out of the palm of your hand. You don’t know what it’s like to be me because you don’t live in the shadows like I do. You don’t know what it’s like to be the less attractive, dumber, less popular twin. You don’t know what it’s like but you knew that I’d jump at any sliver of attention you threw my way because you know that I’m all those things.’ ‘I never said I thought any of that,’ James said but it was barren defence and he knew it. ‘You didn’t have to…. look I don’t care that you like someone else. I can deal with that. God throws the dice another way sometimes but to get yourself ahead by stepping on others… that’s low. Lily was right to warn me off you,’ Daisy said with a sniffle. Tears stung her eyes but she was determined not to show any weakness in front of the boys, she had just laid all her insecurities out in front of them which she supposed was enough for that day. At the mention of Lily’s name James’ face lit up and then fell as Daisy echoed the redhead’s opinions to him.

‘She was right when she said you were a pathetic, idiotic little boy who doesn’t care for anyone but himself and that I’d be better off with a flobberworm than with the likes of you,’ Daisy said. Though Lily’s sentiments were present in her rant she decided that adding some ‘detail’ was more than fair after what he had done. A justified punishment. ‘Lily said that?’ James said dejectedly. ‘She hates your guts of course she did! And she was right, you’re a pathetic little boy and I hate you. If I ever see your face again James Potter it’ll be too soon,’ Daisy spat and before James could say anything she flourished her wand and legged it leaving James and his friends to tend to a nasty stinging jinx whilst she fought off the tears on the way back to the castle.

[hiro-gari]

This is just my usual random thought:

We already had many headcanons of Garou as hero partner for Badd, or as a villain, or sometimes as a vigilante. But what if Garou never becomes any of that and just stay as a civillian only?

So I was thinking the possibility of Garou staying as a civillian is where Garou and Badd had met back then in their childhood era. Like, if kid Badd comes to protect kid Garou from the bullies and giving kid Garou a little hopes that not all of the "heroes" are bad because Badd is always be there for him.

Of course Garou still not convinced enough to completely changed his mind about heroes in general, but at least he would let Badd pursuing a career as professional hero. Despite Badd getting involved into something that Garou hated all along, he could never hate Badd himself. Because Badd is his bestfriend and such great example of "ideal hero", Garou has good faith on him to do the right job.

Now I was thinking since his intention to be a monster was lessened thanks to Badd's influence, Garou would be focusing on becomes the greatest martial artist since he loves the sport so much and it's really good practice to protect himself or people from any bullies. Badd was 100% encouraged him about that, he would definitely comes to visit Garou on Bang's dojo during his training days or even on national tournaments whenever Badd was not on-duty to support Garou.

If Garou finally mastered his martial art skill, Bang would inherit his dojo and hand over his mentorship rights to Garou. At that time, Badd also had just promoted as one of S-Class Heroes in Hero Association. Both Garou and Badd pursuing their own career, with Garou as martial artist master/teacher and Badd as S-Class hero. Yet both of them still maintaining their friendship vl(and mutual pinings, ofc) very well.

One thing Garou disliked about Badd being a hero, was the fact that Hero Association always put him into a dangerous mission with little to no regard about his safety guarantee. Not to mention Badd is quite a reckless person who wont get back until he's done with his duty. Being selfless is a good trait for sure, but not when the situation could endanger himself.

That's why Garou always almost getting heart attack everytime he found out Badd got heavily injured after missions, or worst, ended up being hospitalized. He worried so much for his dearly bestfriend (and beloved crush), that it made Garou swore to strengthened himself so he can protect Badd when the mission gone awry.

Now imagine people in the city witnessed the S-Class Hero Metal Bat was often saved or assisted by this random strong civillian. Not the fellow registrated heroes, but THIS powerful handsome white-haired martial artist who was suddenly popped in into the battlefield out of nowhere and helping the delinquent hero. Then after all has finished, they're always bickering like old married couple about why the hero was so goddamned reckless or why did the martial artist intervened his job in random moment.

Sometimes people saw the martial artist would immediately left before Metal Bat scolding him, or the martial artist would bridal-carried the unconscious injured Metal Bat and running towards nearby hospital for getting immeadiate help.

Later on, Badd was desperately asking Garou, why didn't he becomes a hero when all the things he has done is to help people, since Garou has real good potential as professional hero. Garou said he was still disliking the heroes system, thus he would never comes for Hero Association to offer himself as their members. He hates them and doesn't need their approval or their money. Garou doesn't care about it all.

It doesn't matter if he wasn't registrated as official hero members at all, as long as he still can help and save Badd or weak people in need, it's totally alright for Garou. Because Badd is one of few people he really cares about, and Badd is very important to Garou because Garou loves him so much.

As soon as he confessed his feeling, Garou hugged his beloved childhood hero tightly, whispering how much Badd means to him in his life and how deep he has fallen in love with Badd. That he was afraid of losing Badd one day because his recklessness or some accident caused by HA's negligence, that he truly cares for Badd and his well-beings and he will absolutely makes sure to keep Badd safe no matter what.

The sudden love confession from Garou surprised Badd, yet he feels so happy that his bestfriend actually also has the same feeling as him after these years. With sincere bright smile, Badd thanking Garou for everything he has done for him and said that Garou is his "Hero", then he holds the wolfboy's face with so much tenderness before kissing Garou softly on his lips.

That was the moment Garou nearly crying in happiness, because he finally have someone saying that he deserved to be called as a Hero, and he has someone who loves him back..

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--- THE END ----

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Notes:

This was just a short self-indulgent writing because I wanted to have AU headcanon where Garou stays as a normal civillian instead of pursuing his need to become a monster because of Badd's influence to him as childhood hero.

So here we are: Childhood Frienda S-Class Hero Badd & Civillian Martial Artist Garou AU! 👏😎

I think the idea of Garou popped in out of nowhere and swooped in to help Badd in the middle of mission kinda amused me 😆

Also, please think about this: a young Martial Artist Master prodigy Garou teaching kids (including Tareo!) in Bang's dojo as main job, and assisting Badd in dangerous mission as side job (he still wont register as pro-hero, though) 👀👀✨

Any other thought about this headcanon? If there's any, it's okay to tell me 😳💦👉👈

That's all I can write for today!

I don't know if there's still people who wants to read my writings, but I really appreciate anyone who still willing read this dumbass random nonsense 😚🙏💖

I'll try to keep going on making crumbs of Batarou contents for the fandom! 💪😤👍✨ Wish me luck I wont get burnout since lately I got distracted by other fandom (still haven't make any content yet for it but I'm getting the hype 😆🎉)

Thank you so much for always listening and reading my silly headcanons, hope you guys have a nice day~ 😘❤💜💙💚💛💖💝🌸🌻💐

-Little1993lamb-

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~Lilia:

DO U REALIZE WHAT THIS MEANS

*whispers* G-Garou Sensei 😩👌✨ I’ve got goosebumps rn

Imagine Badd calling him that teasingly or when Garou’s giving him an earful for being so reckless😜 “Whatever you say Garou Sensei” oml he’d get so flustered about it!!

This idea is so sweet though 🥺 instead of becoming a hardened criminal he’s just the slightly aloof martial arts guy who has a soft spot for kids and one particular hero 😌 I love it!! 💕 And ofc I’ve always thought he’d make a great teacher, especially for kids who were bullied like him, or are weak and insecure for whatever reason. He’d never turn anyone away, especially because he remembers what an impact meeting someone like Badd (a friend to stick up for him and encourage him) had on him as a kid 💖

TYSM ANON!! 💕😘 Always great to hear from you! Dw I fully support you no matter what fandom you’re in, if you’re hype about something you should go for it!! I’ll still be in this fandom chillin whenever you wanna come talk about stuff 😆 Though I rlly hope you don’t get burned out from it 😖 Wishing you the best of luck and a great day!! 💗✨😚

[whaleofatjme1920]

Ofc ofc! I don’t like just dropping stuff on people! (Also I have, just, so many stickers OvO)

The sad thing is… I had/have this nasty habit of picking up other people’s interests. Now that doesn’t sound too bad, right? Well, when I do that, I completely neglect my own interests and things that make me happy…

And while I do tend to enjoy the things and interests I pick up from others, no one really gives my interests the same chance… so I tend to just leave them behind.

That’s partly why I’m so excited to be focusing on Creepypasta and Marble Hornets right now! Because I finally found people who enjoy it the same way I do! And now, after seeing some of the things you’ve posted, I’m looking forward to reading some more SCPs! Another fandom that got abandoned for other people…

I’m trying hard to break my habit or at the very least let myself enjoy my own interests instead of forcing myself into something I simply don’t care about in the moment. (Part of it is shedding some toxicity from my life and repairing healthier friendships)

Okay… that’s pretty much it! Thank you for letting me vent a bit, I appreciate it. I hope this didn’t drag you down to bummerville :/ and remember, you don’t have to answer this ask if you don’t want to uwu

This was long… ily 💕

That sounds like a lot to get off your chest, love bug. How long have you been holding that in? I’m so sorry that you’re dealing with the confusion of what it means to be authentic in your hobbies and things you love. However, I feel like you’re trying far too hard to please other people, and I see it with the hell just running a blog. You give and give, which isn’t a bad thing! I think you’re a very generous person. You’re a sweetheart through and through and express is through making others happy.

If you’re constantly giving to other people, even if it’s media that you all enjoy, you’re no longer doing it out of enjoyment for that media, but to please other people. There’s nothing wrong with focusing on yourself and writing things, making things simply for you.

It just sounds like burn out, something I went through deeply about a year or so ago? I was constantly giving and giving to a friend and the reciprocation was nothing. I hyped up their fictional crushes, the things that made them happy and they never reciprocated to my level and it d e s t r o y e d me. It’s the lack of enthusiasm, the reciprocation that really does it, and I understand that so deeply.

I think the point I’m trying to make is, it feels like you’re so easily moving to another fandom not because you’ve fallen out of love with it, but because you weren’t able to attach yourself as deeply to it as you could. Your interests, everything you love, it’s all so valid. You’re allowed to love things in multiples, and in tandem. Creepypasta/MH, SCP, whatever else how you see fit. If that’s balancing them all or moving one for the other, it’s okay. You can’t please everyone by being into something you don’t enjoy simply because they’re into it as well. It’s not fair to you.

But please, focus on yourself and make things that make you happy. Forget what other people want within reason, and bring that energy you’ve been giving off to other people back to yourself. You can only run on such little fuel before you’re empty! What does make you happy? What’s something that is entirely yours? And if it’s not entirely yours, how can you focus on it in a way that does not hand out your energy to other people? Take care of and be kind to yourself in the coming days.