#ofc my actual response was 'what?' or 'huh?' or smth which is. fitting

[faggotry-enjoyer]

peculiar feeling when other people know what's up with you morw than you do. today one of my coworkwers was just like "sorry i forgot you're hard of hearing" and like i appreciate the consideration but you know that's not canon right

[ronance4everbrainrot]

Stranger Things incorrect quote generator (feat. The Girls, Max and her Moms, El and her Moms, Murray adopting Robin AU +Robin Protection Squad)

Pt 11

The Girls

Chrissy, peeling a banana: May I take your jacket, sir? Hahahaha.

Robin: Do you think other people can’t hear you?

(She knows, and she doesn't care 😌)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Vickie: I lost Nancy.

Max: How did you LOSE Nancy?!

Vickie: To be fair, they are very small.

(You're the same height)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Vickie: Hey, wanna help me commit arson?

Robin: What the hell!?

Vickie: Oh, sorry, my bad.

Vickie, whispering: Wanna help me commit arson?

Robin, whispering: Of course. What do you need?

(sus)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

El: What if mayonnaise came in cans?

Chrissy: Well, that would such because you can't microwave metal.

Erica: Good morning to everyone except these two people.

(Erica fitting perfectly)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Nancy, holding a fork: You know your talking a lot of shit for someone who has 2 perfectly good eyeballs each cost about $16,000 on the blackmarket.

Vickie: ....

Nancy: *lip smack*

(....what did you do?)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Max, handing a balloon to Chrissy: I have no soul. Have a good day!

Chrissy, walking off: I don't have one either.

(Ye, she made a deal or smth)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Nancy: I should've left you on that street corner where you were standing.

Max: But ya' didn't!

(And she regrets it)

(not)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Max: I think my guardian angel drinks.

(Well, I think from the others too)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Erica: Which way did El go?

Robin: Well, based on the direction of the wind, the broken sticks in the corner, and the slight disturbance in the dirt, I'd guess they went left.

Erica: You could really figure it out from that?

Robin: No, you idiot, El sent me a text. See?

(Omg, Robin sassed the sassy Queen, which she already did in the show once tho actually.. I think)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Vickie: Oh, so when crows remember people who wronged them and hold grudges, its “intelligent” and “really cool”.

Vickie: But when I do it, I’m “petty” and “need to let it go”.

(who you holding a grudge on?? Also does it fit to Vickie?)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Robin: Wait a minute, how did this happen? We're smarter than this!

Vickie: Apparently, we're not.

(welp ¯\_(ツ)_/¯)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Chrissy: Can we go to a haunted house?

Max: What’s wrong with the one we live in?

Robin: Wh-what?

Max: Goodnight, Robin.

(Nancy should have left you in that street corner you were standing at /j)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Eden: Do you mind if I slyly mention that you’re single?

Erica: Do not do that.

Eden: You won’t even notice!

Suzie, entering: Eden, you wanted to see me again?

Eden: Erica's single

Erica:

(Eden likes Erica, so she tries to set Suzie up with her...???)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Eden: Guys where did El go?

Erica: They got arrested.

Eden: How the hell-

El: *bursts in through the window* The cops are after me, I thought it would be fun to steal crackers and throw them at people.

(✨the Es✨)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

El: You ever see something that changes your life and you're just like "huh.."

Max: I saw you.

El: Honestly that's so cute and sweet but it kinda makes this awkward because I was gonna show you a picture of Vickie in a turkey costume.

(Elmax🥺✨... Not gonna comment on the rest)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Max: I wish I was a cat, but not in a furry kinda way, more like a “I can sleep all day and hit people with no consequences” kinda way.

(You really are Nancy's daughter 🙌 you can't tell me Nancy wouldn't love to not have any responsibilities and just hit people)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Robin, to Nancy: You're starting to forget your Spanish. You don't practice.

Nancy: Lo siento. Estoy embarazada.

Robin: You just told me you're pregnant.

Suzie: Congratulations Nancy, you're glowing!

(but what if she's actually pregnant 👀 and ofc it was planned)

Bonus:

Nancy: No idiot... I'm.. I'm actually pregnant..

(Robin would be full on happy tears, not Max being jealous of them actually having their own baby, but she's be an older sister✨ idk what the hell I just came up with lol)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Erica: What should I do?

Robin: *holds out hand* May I suggest dinner with a friend?

Erica: Well, none of my friends are available, so I guess I'll have to go with you.

(Damn, but Robin knows you not serious👀)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Max: Ah, Hello again. We really need to stop meeting like this.

El: Maybe we would, if you would sTOP BREAKING INTO MY FUCKING HOUSE!!!

(Max, I know Robin somehow succeeded in dating Nancy with that tactic but that doesn't mean it's gonna work with El. But also I think El wouldn't react like that lol..also maybe it's S2?)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Vickie: Damn, the power went out.

El: Don’t worry, I got this.

El: *shakes rapidly and starts to light up*

Vickie: What-?

El: I swallowed a glow stick!

Vickie, on the verge of tears: WHY WOULD YOU-

(She thought it was colorful spaghetti)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Robin, to El: If you see Max, give them this message *makes a neutral face*

Robin: They'll know what it means.

*later*

El: oh, and Robin said to give you a message.

El: *makes a neutral face*

Max: Oh no. The neutral face of displeasure.

(more like her disappointed dad face)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Erica: I typed "bitch" into my GPS and guess what? I'm in your driveway.

Max:

Erica: Vroom vroom, come out already.

(well it's either in the future or Erica has those mini cars that can actually drive....and I'd love that)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Erica, shooing Robin away: Can you go be depressed over there? You’re bumming out my whole area.

(I feel like that was in the RV after the Vickie thing)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Vickie: Do you have a self-care routine?

Robin: "Keep going bitch" said to myself in different accents.

(Fun fact (probably only fun for me): in the scene where she lists out the language she can speak, if you watch it in Italian she says German instead of Italian...I didn't watch it in French or spanish so idk what they said there)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Max: Wanna get out of here and grab a bite to eat.

Erica: I don’t usually eat with losers.

Max: Neither do I but I asked you, didn’t I?

(Well Damn, Erica wanted to take the cake but Max ate it without leaving crumbs)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Robin: Why were you up yesterday until 3am?

Nancy: How did you know I was up until 3am?

Vickie: We could hear you clapping to the FRIENDS intro every 25 minutes.

(Nancy loving Friends? Sure, I'm all in for it... Even tho I haven't watched it lol)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Max: Why are you guys acting like this?

Robin: Oh, we're not acting. We really are like this.

(Max first time coming over to the sapphic senate)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Vickie: So what, now I’m just supposed to do everything that Nancy does? What if they jump off a cliff?

Robin: If Nancy were to jump off a cliff, they would have done their due diligence regarding the height of the cliff, the depth of the water, and the angle of entry. So yes, if you see Nancy jump off a cliff, by all means, jump off a cliff.

Vickie: You jump off a cliff.

Robin: Gladly, provided Nancy did first.

(um.. She has a point 🤔.. Also maybe she's just a simp...honestly same tho)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Eden: Did you have to stab them?

Chrissy: You weren’t there. You didn’t hear what they said to me.

Eden: What did they say?

Chrissy: "What are you going to do, stab me?"

Eden: That’s fair.

(Eden and Chrissy 👀 are you high?)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Robin: Damn, Suzie, are you secretly cool?

Suzie: Well, poker is just math, so I guess it depends on if you consider the mathematician, Carl Friedrich Gauss, cool.

Robin: I do not.

(Suzie playing poker tho, that'd we fun)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Nancy: Didn't you die?!

Chrissy: That was weeks ago, dude. Things change.

(Nancy, chill, you've seen stranger things...or more like, I thought you were not stranger these things)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Robin: What are you eating?

Erica: You wouldn't like it, it's really salty.

Robin: I like you, don't I?

(Oop- Erica be getting a taste of her own medicine in these quotes)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Eden: Last night I found out Suzie is a sleep talker.

Max: Oh, really?

Eden: "The mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell." Right. In. My. Ear. At 3am.

(when Eden and Suzie stayed over, they had to share a room, so that's how she found out)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

El, texting: Answer your phone

Vickie, texting back: Wait a minute, I can’t find my phone

El: Understood

El, 5 minutes later: You’re a terrible person. You know you’re killing me. You’re killing me, Vickie.

(How dare you do this to El 😔)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Robin: I hate when people ask me, 'What did you do today?' Buddy listen, I woke up at noon and then it was five p.m., okay? I don't KNOW!

(I feel ya... Mostly because I don't do anything...)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

[Max and her Moms]

Robin: Did you have to stab them?

Max: You weren’t there. You didn’t hear what they said to me.

Robin: What did they say?

Max: "What are you going to do, stab me?"

Nancy: That’s fair.

(Understandable)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Nancy: What is wrong with you?

Robin: Loaded question. Elaborate.

(In the Creel house)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Nancy: The results are in, I’m afraid you have updog…

Max: What’s updog?

Nancy: Robin! Get in here, I told you I could do it!

(Robin proud and jealous because she couldn't do it)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Robin: Fruits that do not live up to their names; passionfruit, grapefruit, honeydew and dragonfruit.

Robin: Fruits that do live up to their names?

Robin: Orange.

Nancy, trying to fall asleep again: Robin. Please go back to bed..

Max, sleepy: she's got a point tho..

(Family cuddles✨)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Robin: Sorry I’m late, I was doing things.

Nancy: Hi, I’m ‘things’.

Max: Well she couldn't have done stranger things then that.

Nancy: Rude

(sorry idk, I just wanted that joke and Max included..)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Nancy: Are you sure Robin's even gay? They barely even looked at me.

Robin: I hope Nancy doesn't find out I'm gay. But I'm barely even looking at her, she has to have figured it out...

Max, who heard to both of them:...are they serious?

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Nancy: Sorry, I'm late to the party. I've been doing things.

Robin, entering in an unbuttoned shirt: I got caught up doing things too.

Max, obviously knowing what's going on: Wow, Nancy was late too! What a coincidence!

(Max just wanted a Girls hang out 😪)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Robin: Bro-

Nancy: No, no, hold up, rewind.

Nancy: My tongue was down in your throat just a second ago and now you're calling me bro??

Max:...I didn't need to know that....should I just go?

(Robin was so embarrassed 😬)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Robin: I didn't drink that much last night.

Max: You were flirting with Nancy.

Robin: So what? They're my partner.

Max: You asked if they were single.

Max: And then you cried when they said they weren't

(Max loves having embarrassing stories about Robin)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

[El and her Moms, since I saw a post about Chrissy and Vickie adopting El because Ronance has Max]

El, talking about Chrissy: Is this a friend of yours, Vickie?

Vickie: Kind of? Not really. They're in my life and there's nothing I can do about it.

(El doesn't know they're dating (same with Ronance) and Vickie just answers like that)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Chrissy: You disgust me.

El: *eating a kitkat sideways* I realize this and don’t care.

(El 😭)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Vickie: Where did you get that tomato soup?

El: It’s actually a bowl of ketchup I just microwaved.

(Chrissy in b flat)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

El: Why is Chrissy crying?

Vickie: They saw a leaf on the sidewalk and-

Chrissy: IT LOOKED SO CRUNCHY!

El: Please don’t say what I think you’re gonna say-

Chrissy: AND WHEN I STEPPED ON IT THERE WAS NO CRUNCH!

El: NO, NOT THAT!

(😭😭💔💔😔😔)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

*While planning to break in somewhere (trying to break out El)*

Chrissy: Hey, let's do "Get Help!"

Vickie: What?

Chrissy: "Get Help."

Vickie: No.

Chrissy: C'mon, you love it!

Vickie: I hate it.

Chrissy: It's great! It works every time!

Vickie: It's humiliating.

Chrissy: Do you have a better plan?

Vickie: No.

Chrissy: We're doing it!

Vickie: We are not doing "Get Help!"

*A Minute Later*

Chrissy, carrying Vickie: Get help! Please! They're dying! Help Them! *throws Vickie at guards, knocking them out*

Chrissy: Ahh, classic!

Vickie: *gets up* I still hate it. It's humiliating.

Chrissy, laughing: Not for me, it's not.

(Well I didn't know Chrissy could throw Vickie)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Vickie, to Chrissy: I'll be under the mistletoe when you start feeling desperate!

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Chrissy: A mosquito tried to bite me and I slapped it and killed it.

Chrissy: And I started thinking.

Chrissy: Like, it was just trying to get food.

Chrissy: What if I went to the fridge and it just slammed the door shut and snapped my neck?

Vickie: Are you ok?

(does this next incorrect quote answer your question?)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Chrissy: I don’t think the therapist is supposed to say ‘wow’ that many times during their first session with a client, but here we are.

(does it?)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Vickie, ordering coffee: I’d like a light roast.

Chrissy: You're kinda ugly.

(another quote)

Chrissy: And how do you want your coffee?

El: Black, like my soul.

Chrissy:

Chrissy: El, your soul is a latte.

(I love her ✨🥺)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Vickie: El, what are you doing?

El: *shaking a cat shaped piggy bank* I’m just trying to figure out how much change I have inside.

Vickie: You could always take it out and count it.

El: Where’s the fun in that?

(yea, stop making logical ideas)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Vickie: If I say I love you, will you say it back?

El: Yes.

Vickie: I love you.

El: It back.

*Later*

Chrissy: Why is Vickie crying face-down on the floor?

(El confused on what she did wrong, because she said 'it back')

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Chrissy: So I was just having a conversation with El about Star Wars; particularly, about the choice of architecture. The amount of people who die from falling down bottomless pits is TOO DAMN HIGH! Like, who designs architecture like this? Catwalks with no guard rails whatsoever, just zigging and zagging through enormous voids. Giant holes to nowhere!

El: It's by design. It's a cleaner look, for a more elegant time.

Chrissy: Like... who the fuck put this hole here???? And why????

El: Exhaust?

Chrissy: Darth Maul falls down a hole, Palpatine falls down a hole, Solo falls down a hole, everyone falls down a hole! Star Wars universe needs OSHA.

El: Luke falls down a hole, Boba Fett falls down a hole…

Chrissy: Yes, yes, I forgot about those! R2-D2 falls down a hole in the Millenium Falcon after he fixes the hyperdrive.

El: We're onto something here!

Chrissy: Obi-Wan almost falls down a hole.

El: C-3PO falls off the barge into the sand. Pretty close to falling down a hole.

Chrissy: His lightsaber does though.

*El thinks hard about what other Star Wars Characters fall down holes*

Chrissy: What if the hole is symbolic? The hole represents the dark side.

El: Nah, doesn't work. Luke chooses to fall down the hole instead of joining Vader/The Dark Side.

Chrissy: Fair point.

(oh God, who introduced them to Star Wars...but also very interesting tho)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Chrissy: Vickie, I don't like you.

Vickie: What did you say?

Chrissy: You heard me!

Vickie, internally: And it turns out I actually didn't hear what the fuck you just said.

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

El: I'm a nice person, but I'm about to start throwing rocks at people.

(or rollerskates)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Chrissy: Fight me!

Vickie, standing behind them and holding a knife with El standing there having death glare: *mouths* Do not.

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

[Murray adopting Robin AU: Robin's protection Squad]

Erica: Good morning. As you begin your day, remember that violence is always an option and often the answer.

Lucas:

Erica:

Lucas: ...Please, go back to bed.

(Erica trying to convince Lucas to also bully Steve)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Robin: Max... you've been cuddling with me for over and hour now.

Max: *muffled* mm hmmm :)

Robin: Fuck. I should be annoyed but you're adorable.

(this is so fucking adorable 🥺😭 *holds gently* 🤲)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Lucas: You think you're smarter than everyone else.

Murray: I don't think I'm smarter than everyone else. I know I am.

(Well, he's not that wrong)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Lucas: Erica, I am questioning your sanity...

Robin: I never questioned it, I knew their sanity was missing from the start.

(When Erica suggested something to do against Steve)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Nancy: Who the fuck broke the toaster?

Max: It was Robin.

Lucas: It was Robin.

Erica: Robin broke it.

Robin:

Robin: ...yOU PROMISED-

(wow, what a great protection Squad)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Lucas: We’re all in this together. If one of us falls, we all fall. Nobody is expendable on this team.

Erica: Sounds fake but ok.

(we're all in this together 🎶)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Lucas: Do you ever feel bugs on you when really there’s nothing there?

Murray: Those are the ghosts of the bugs you killed before.

Lucas:

Lucas: *sobs*

Max: You fucking scared them, you idiot.

(Poor Lucas 🥺)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Squad reactions to being called straight:

Max: The fuck, no I'm not.

Nancy: Excuse the hell out of you?

Erica: Ding dong, you are wrong!

Lucas: Who told you that? And why did they lie?

Murray: Rude.

Robin: *punches the person*

(Nancy joins the protection Squad later in the AU, anyway seems accurate enough without changing)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Robin: So, did everyone learn their lesson?

Lucas: No.

Erica: I did not.

Murray: I may have actually forgotten one.

Max: Also no.

Robin: Oh good, neither did I.

Nancy: *Exhausted sigh*

(Love them all)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

*Everyone is standing around the broken coffee maker*

Max: So. Who broke it? I'm not mad, I just wanna know.

Everyone:

Lucas: ...I did. I broke it.

Max: No. No you didn't. Robin?

Robin: Don't look at me. Look at Murray.

Murray: What?! I didn't break it.

Robin: Huh, that's weird. How'd you even know it was broken?

Murray: Because it's sitting right in front of us and it's broken.

Robin: Suspicious.

Murray: No, it's not!

Nancy: If it matters, probably not, but Erica was the last one to use it.

Erica: Liar! I don't even drink that crap!

Nancy: Oh really? Then what were you doing by the coffee cart earlier?

Erica: I use the wooden stirrers to push back my cuticles. Everyone knows that, Nancy!

Lucas: Okay let's not fight. I broke it. Let me pay for it, Max.

Max: No! Who broke it!?

Everyone:

Erica: Max... Robin's been awfully quiet.

Robin: rEALLY?!

*Everyone starts arguing*

Max, being interviewed: I broke it. I burned my hand so I punched it.

Max: I predict 10 minutes from now they'll be at each other's throats with warpaint on their faces and a pig head on a stick.

Max:

Max: Good. It was getting a little chummy around here.

(Max in b flat 😪 but I love how fitting it is tho)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Nancy: You know, when Steve comes over, Max can get a little…

Erica: Psycho?

Lucas: Scary?

Robin: Drunk?

Nancy: All three.

(I wonder why 😑)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Nancy: Time for plan G.

Robin: Don’t you mean plan B?

Nancy: No, we tried plan B a long time ago. I had to skip over plan C due to technical difficulties.

Erica: What about plan D?

Nancy: Plan D was that desperate disguise attempt half an hour ago.

Lucas: What about plan E?

Nancy: I’m hoping not to use it. Steve dies in plan E.

Max: I like plan E.

(I think Erica also likes plan E)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Robin, at Nancy: You're my significant other.

Nancy: Yeah I am!

Robin, at Max: You're my child.

Max: Yes boss.

Robin, at Steve: You're my bitch.

Steve: Yeah I am- wait, what?

Robin, at Lucas: My bestie.

Lucas: Naturally.

Robin, Erica: HA, GAY!

Erica: Fuck you.

(She only did it because Erica say it to her once)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Robin: Bye Nancy! Bye Lucas! Bye Steve! Bye Erica! Bye Nancy!

Max: You said ‘bye Nancy’ twice.

Robin: I like Nancy.

(we know)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Lucas: Between Robin, Erica, Steve, and Nancy -- if you had to -- who would you punch?

Max: No one! They're my friends. I wouldn't punch any of them.

Lucas: Steve?

Max: Yeah, but I don't know why.

(you know why 👀)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Max: You're alive.

Steve: There's no need to sound so disappointed.

(Plan E didn't work 😔)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Lucas: This is a very powerful artifact. You’d be messing with some forces we don’t fully understand.

Murray: That sounds like a dare to me.

Lucas: Oh my god.

(Murray no.)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Max, holding an antique bottle: Is this whiskey or perfume?

Robin: *grabs and chugs the entire bottle*

Robin:

Robin: It's perfume.

(well at least your breath won't stink?)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Erica: This is getting embarrassing.

Robin: Getting? We’re already there!

(Erica when they have on of their hang outs including Lucas and Max)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Lucas, when Max walks in: Oh, hey, I'm just making pizza.

Lucas: *accidentally smacks Robin in the face with the baking sheet*

(Lucas apologized a million times)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Max to Steve: I don't dab. I stab.

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Max: Hey Erica, do you wanna help us?

Erica: Oh, I would... but I don’t want to.

Max: But we have a plan in how to get revenge on Ste-

Erica: I'm in.

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Robin: Drink your school, stay in drugs, and get 8 hours of drugs.

(That was Robin after she distants herself from the party)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Erica: I don’t mean to be rude—

Robin: Yet, sadly, accidental rudeness occurs alarmingly often.

(Erica and the other checking in on Robin when she distances herself)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Robin: Big day today, Lucas. *holds up two shirts* Mustard stain or ketchup stain?

Lucas: Mustard– looks less like blood.

(Ronance adopting Lucas and Erica✨)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Erica: I found a note in one of my old word .docs that said Note to self: Get revenge on Robin.

Erica: Except I couldn't remember what I was supposed to get revenge for.

Erica: But I trusted my own judgment, so I went with it.

Robin: Hmm... I don't know what you were supposed to get revenge for, either.

Erica: I can only assume you got what was coming to you. Not 100 percent sure, though.

Robin: Well, whatever I did, I guess I deserved it.

Erica: Let that possibly be a lesson to you.

(We shall never know😔)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Lucas: Who hurt you?

Robin: *snorting* What, do you want a list?

Lucas: ...Yes, actually.

(When they found Robin at Murray's, also love Lucas ❤️✨)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Lucas: I typed "bitch" into my GPS and guess what? I'm in your driveway.

Erica:

Lucas: Vroom vroom, come out already.

(Lucas you better run 👀)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Robin: Goddamn it, the printer broke while printing out Lucas's birthday invitations.

Max: Well, what are they supposed to say?

Robin: "Lucas's birthday".

Max: So, what do they say instead?

Robin: "Lucas’s bi".

Max:

Max: Works out either way.

(Cute)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Max: Hey I just got a pet snake. What should I name him?

Lucas: A pet WHAT?!

Erica: William Snakespeare.

(does it fit? Idk.. kinda?)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Max: Welcome to Fucking Applebees, do you want apples or bees?

Steve: Bees?

Max: THEY HAVE SELECTED THE BEES!

Steve: Wait-

*Lucas approaches, shaking a jar of bees menacingly*

(That's what Erica didn't want to help with, but then did help)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Murray: Steve doesn’t deserve you.

Murray: If they don't treat you right by now, you're gone.

Robin: I'm gone.

Murray: Now go chop their dick off.

(Murray when Robin told him about what Steve did)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Murray: Ooh, somebody has a crush

Nancy: Pfft, I don’t have a crush on Robin I just think they’re cool, it’s not like I stay up at night thinking about them.

*Later that night*

Nancy, very much awake: Uh oh.

(well let's see if that ends well)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

(nsfw?)

Robin: Nancy, you do remember when we agreed we were better off as friends, right?

Nancy, naked in Robin's bed: No, I absolutely do not.

Robin, already taking off their clothes: Fuck... Me neither.

(well that ended more then well)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

If you want more context for the

Murray adopting Robin AU

look at @corgiplays post

(sorry that I added you, I actually didn’t want to at first but few quotes actually fit the AU so I decided to add you and people can find the post easier)

hope you liked it!

Lots of love ✨❤️🤗✨

[summerbummin]

Headcanons about Apollo and his former lovers from TOA

Naomi Solace 🎤

-Her and Apollo met when she was singing at a dive bar, he bought her a drink and they had a whirlwind summer fling

-They loved hitting up karaoke bars together and wowing everyone with their singing talent

-She really liked Apollo’s car and they’d did a lot of things in there (including conceiving Will lmao)

-One time when they were making out Naomi climbed into Apollo’s seat and her butt accidentally hit the steering wheel and HOOONK

-They jolted in surprise, then delved into hysterics, anything they had going on dying down as they laid their heads against each other’s shoulders and laughed so hard their ribs hurt, until Apollo suggested they used the back seat and things got going again lol

-Once Naomi said Jesus Christ in like response to smth, Apollo replied actually I’m Phoebus Apollo and Naomi was like what? And Apollo was like whaaaaat and Naomi just moved on bc she had other things to deal with lol

-Apollo ended up saying goodbye and leaving at the end of summer and a few weeks after he left Naomi realized she was pregnant and was like well shit

-She’s from the south and people there can be p judgmental about pregnancies outside of marriage, but Naomi never let them get her down, she actually met this great support group of women who helped her out and are still good friends even now

-Apollo eased her labor pains when she was giving birth to Will (and that’s why the kid has such good medical powers), but Apollo disguised himself as a nurse, not wanting to stress her out because the ex who she thought had no idea abt the baby was here, with her, holding her hand while she was gave birth

-Naomi brings Will up with love and kindness and she just wants the best for her sweet boy, but she gets concerned when Will talks about some weird things he saw at school and he gets pegged as the “weird kid” and is picked on by his classmates as a result

-Naomi would’ve fought those kids but Will told her it was fine, mama! His stuffed animals were his friends

-Will loved those stuffed animals and got really attached to them, so Naomi taught him how to sow them up when they started fraying and that’s the first thing that made Will want to be a doctor (when Will told his siblings this story they started calling him Doc McStuffins lol)

-Apollo didn’t tell Naomi he was a god and she didn’t find out until Apollo sent a satyr to bring Will to camp once he was old enough

-Realizing she had a fling with a greek god was a bit of a shock but Naomi dealt with it gracefully and gave Will the biggest hug before he left, making him promise to be safe and write to her as soon as he got to camp

-Naomi’s career as a country alt singer got a lot more successful after her whole thing with Apollo because he put a blessing on her, her voice was beautiful she just needed help getting noticed so Apollo nudged some influential people in the music industry towards her on his way out (he kinda felt bad about leaving so abruptly, even if it was just a fling, he tries to make it up to his ex-lovers with things like this)

-Naomi actually ends up writing a sad country love song about Apollo after he left, she titled it Suburn, not knowing how fitting the title is until years later, it becomes one of her most popular songs

-Naomi travels a lot for her career, touring around Texas and some nearby states, and that’s why Will stays at camp year round, but they write to each other frequently and love each other sm

-Naomi doesn’t date much since she’s always busy with her career and traveling, she’s just not ready to settle down yet, she’s happy living as a free spirit and a single mom with a wonderful son

-Naomi is 100% supportive of Will’s sexuality and loves Nico to bits (Nico is a little awkward around her at first bc he’s not used to affection lol)

-She tells Nico stories abt Will when he was a kid, whipping out photo albums and everything and Will is like mom s t a h p ur embarrassing me in front of my bf and Nico is reveling in how red his face gets

Latricia Lake 🎶

-she met Apollo when he was posing as a street performer for fun on the streets of the college town she worked in

-she put a tip in his guitar case and complimented his playing and his voice, Apollo was pleased by this and complimented her in turn, saying she must know her music which made Latricia laugh because she is a professor

-the two of them hit it off and start dating, spending hours talking about music

-being the god of music, Apollo could tell when people really loved music, feeling loved in return, and Latricia was one of those people

-being a college professor, Latricia was a bit older than Apollo’s usual lovers (she’s like in her mid to late 20s) and Apollo looks like 21, so he jokingly starts calling her a cougar just to tease her (when he’s so full of shit bc he’s over 3 thousand years older than her)

-Apollo attended some of her lectures, watching from the back of the room and her students were like ooh who’s that hot guy and she was like my bf and their jaws dropped bc daaamn ms lake way to go (Apollo found those reactions very amusing lol)

-There are many times when Latricia considers smacking that smug smirk off Apollo’s face, but she refrains and smacks his ass instead

-Apollo claims Latricia only loves him for his pancakes bc he made them for her the morning after their first time as a way to get her to keep him around lol (and it worked a little too well)

-When Latricia got pregnant Apollo told her who/what he really was and that was a bit too much for Latricia so they stopped dating but Apollo gave her the briefing about demigod children, powers, monsters, camp half blood, etc before he left

-One day when her sitter had to cancel on her she brought Austin to her class and all the college kids thought he was so cute that Latricia started bringing him around more often, Austin was just a baby but she could tell he loved the attention by the way he was gurgling lol (like father like son)

-Latricia is p busy since she’s a professor but she always makes time for her son and she has been teaching Austin about music since he was a kid, he grew up surrounded by it and that’s why he loves it sm (that and being a son of Apollo)

-On his 10th birthday there was a really nice new saxophone with a ribbon at the foot of his bed (a gift from Apollo) Austin always thought his mom bought it for him and Latricia just didn’t correct him

-Latricia sent Austin to camp half blood when he told her he saw a monster at school, he was only 11 but Latricia would rather be safe then sorry

-Latricia actually met someone while Austin was at his first year of camp, Austin was a little unsure around the guy at first but more out of awkwardness than anything the guy was lacking

-Austin and him bonded over “being boys” as Latricia put it (they blew up hot dogs in the microwave together) and the man soon had her son’s stamp of approval

-They ended up getting married the next year and Austin played the saxophone at their wedding

-Latricia was the first subscriber to his YouTube channel and showed all her coworkers and students her son’s videos, she’s a proud mama

Darren Knowles 🏹

-gay (obviously)

-he loves the outdoors and the crisp cold weather of Canada

-met Apollo when he saw him checking out the flier he had pinned up advertising his archery classes, Darren asked if he was gonna join and Apollo not so subtly checked Darren out over his sunglasses and was like well now I’m def joining

-Darren lowkey thought Apollo was a dumb American tourist at first and Apollo keeps telling him he’s not American and Darren is like uh huh

-Apollo is such a flirt during class and actually misses a few shots bc he too busy staring at Darren lol, but that does give the opportunity for Darren to come and “correct” his stance

-Darren is determined to be a professional with his students but he ends up caving because Apollo is just,, so cute

-Then when they start going on actual dates he finds out Apollo isn’t some dumb blond and is actually really intelligent and educated and Darren is like oh no my weakness, guys who are goofs but not dumb and also hot (Apollo be checking all of his boxes lol)

-Apollo told Darren he was a god while drunk off his ass one night and Darren didn’t believe a fucking word, Apollo just rolled with the drunken nonsense thing the next morning and didn’t tell Darren again (until Kayla)

-Darren lives alone but he’s always wanted a family, he was kicked out by his parents for being gay and he knows if he was a parent he would never treat his child like that, he’d love them unconditionally like his parents should’ve loved him

-Apollo magically created a child for Darren after the man confessed to him how much he wanted a kid of his own

-Darren was happy but like really confused because h... how? And Apollo is just like magic~ which explains fuck all

-Apollo tells him he has to leave now, he was having to leave soon anyway because of some trouble brewing back in America, but that he wanted to do this one last thing for Darren before he left

-he tells him to have take care raising the baby and to send her to cbh’s address when she starts attracting monsters, then poofs away, leaving Darren with a baby in his arms and wondering what the hell just happened

-Darren does raise Kayla with love and care just as he said he would, she grows up hiking through the woods with her dad and learning archery along with other wilderness skills (Artemis would really like her)

-Kayla has her aspirations for the Olympics pretty early on and Darren admires his daughter’s ambition, at first he thinks it’s just her being a kid but then later on as she keeps getting better and better he’s like damn she might actually be able to do it

-But then ofc monsters come and Darren drives her down to New York, lying through his teeth to the border guy who surprisingly lets him through without a problem (Apollo may have insured that but shhh)

-Darren sees her off at the barrier of Thalia’s pine tree and they say goodbye with a hug that lifts Kayla off her feet, there’s promises to write and reminders to practice her archery and take care of her bow and such before Kayla is escorted into camp by some other campers

-Darren managed to keep a hold of himself while saying goodbye but as soon as he’s back in the car he’s fucking bawling, all the way back to Canada because he’s gonna miss his little girl sm

-Darren has had some boyfriends but a lot of them end up jetting as soon as he tells them he has a kid ripp

-He does eventually land a good man and they’re going strong, even when Kayla, who was like 10 at the time, threatened to shoot him in the nads if he hurt her dad

-Darren and shows up to every archery match Kayla has in the future and promises to be there cheering for her with a big ass sign that says THATS MY DAUGHTER when she eventually reaches the Olympics

Bonus!

Georgina’s Mom 🎨

-She was an art student in community college

-She was on her own because her parents refused to support her “unrealistic” career choice

-She met Apollo at a party at some college dorm and they both got super smashed bc college parties be like that

-They had a one night stand that both of them mostly forgot about in favor of their hangovers the next morning

-until Hello!! You have a kid!

-She is most likely dead given that Georgina was led to the waystation by a ghost

-But Georgina has two new mommies now who love her very much (and an awkward dad)