#of uncured hyperfixation

[diabolimeservavit666]

Screw normal. I will kill everyone in this room, including myself, if anything were to happen to him.

I like him a normal amount

[sillygreenrat]

no one asked me to finish that one sketch, but uh.....here you go! (speedpaint included bc i wanted 2 post smthn KJSDHFG)

[splanana-bitz]

I've seen one too many posts regarding neurodivergency (autism mainly) and how people treat it (saying a niche interest means you're autistic, infantilizing, demonizing, etc.) and I have to add my two cents and say that honestly....I completely agree with the people calling out this behavior. Autism and neurodivergency as a whole is not a fun "quirk" or something to be treated like the whole "omg I have OCD lol" thing (even tho OCD shouldn't be treated that way to begin with), or a personality trait. As someone who grew up with undiagnosed AuDHD up until last February, I can absolutely vouch and say it was far from all sunshine and rainbows like I've heard/seen some people say it is. Sure, I talk a lot about my interests, I hyperfixate, I stim a lot. But these traits about Autism/ADHD get put so high on a pedestal and are borderline fetishized and glamorized that people are too scared to see the ugly side of neurodivergency (not to mention, it can be extremely misinforming to neurotypical and (undiagnosed) neurodivergent people alike). For every "acceptable quirk" I had and still do have, I have plenty of traits that would piss off the folks who only expect autistic people to act obsessed with lemon demon and flap their hands sometimes or something. There's emotional disregulation, the lack of a filter, the impulsivity, the lack of basic social skills, and don't even get me started with low empathy/alexithymia and how unfairly demonized that shit is. I, along with many other kids, was an easy target and was consistently villainized, socially punished, and outcasted for just not knowing social stuff because it didn't come naturally to me, or accidentally saying something hurtful that I percieve(d) as perfectly fine, or just being genuinely odd and offputting to other kids. I am begging you - We need people to start talking about and educating others on the "ugly" or "hard to talk about" parts of autism and neurodivergency, because I am tired of my, and so many other people's neurodevelopmental issue(s), becoming a glamorized thing to have because some people on tiktok decided to cherry pick what traits of a serious, uncurable mental disorder are acceptable.

[whentheskittlesfightback]

last night i dreamed about my hyperfixation. this means it is uncurable

[homonculus-posting]

I was scrolling Pukichos blog (for procrastination reasons) and i saw your user and my first thought was "Tma fan??? no, cant be. im just hyperfixating." I click on you blog. TMA FAN!

the world is full of coinkydinks (tma has been my hyperfixation for months, i am uncurable)

oh my God sammmeeeee

Like it's sort of been overcast recently with my pokemon obsession but when protocol comes out you can bet your ass I'm getting back into it

[sparkpen]

JUST HAD THE MOST AUTISM MOMENT i saw climber (who i have been basically hyperfixated on since the start of the month) and was like OOOOOOH HES SILLY HES FUNNY HES GETTING THE SILLY NO WAYYY i cant even explain how this is autism i mustve said 8 different variations of "hes silly" at least 15 times not kidding this also randomly happens when im struggling to find a word or phrase or literally anything that isnt just blurting out my thoughts uncurated. whoops

[duskkodesh]

Predictions

So as the movie approaches and things start to ramp up with Spider-Man NWH coming out tonight at Midnight. (and this being a fan blog) I have to set out my normal list of predictions for the Morbius movie. 1: Martine is definitely going to die. I’m willing to put money down on this. I just feel like it’s something they’d do

2: Morbius will not be in the Sinister Six. It just makes no sense for the character and feels like a misdirection. Even PG13 Morb is too bloody for Disney to want him in. I just can’t see it.

3: We might see Venom though. Personal thoughts about them teaming up as they work pretty well in the comics and I’m almost positive this whole multiverse angle will be used by Disney to bring over Venom maybe for future MCU projects.

4: They’re going to make him pretty neurotypical. He’s not in the comics, and no, I don’t take criticism. Morb shows heavy disassociation, hyperfixation, and a mess of other signs in the comics. Thinking about doing a slog through and post about it later. 

5: He won’t be cured at the end. Sony wants him available do work into other projects so Morb is going to stay uncured.

6. Matt Smith’s character will be turned vampire like Morb but by the end he’ll be cured or deceased. 7. Tyrese Gibson’s version of Stroud will still be kicking to use in other projects. Also another prediction I feel like he’s going to be under utilized.

8: We’re going to get SOME kind of costume. No way do they keep him in street clothes for the whole dang movie. This is a comic book movie, it would be a massive oversight to not give him a costume.

9: This is not going to pass the Bechdel test. I don’t know why I’m saying this out loud. I guess just annoyed that in the year of our lord 2022 we can’t have more than one important female character. 

10: We’re going to get at least one surprise. I am guessing A Spider-Man. Maybe this will take place during the havoc of No Way Home? Could be.

11: Things will end with the status quo being restored. Any major destruction or deaths will have minor impact on the world as a whole. 12: Post credit scene will feature a different villain. My best guesses are Black Cat, or Kraven. Blade will not be seen, Blade crossover with Morb I can’t see happening. I’d love for them to prove me wrong. Please.

[trillgutterbug]

tagged by @twobrokenwyngs many days ago

1. Why did you choose your url?

i’ve had it for probably fifteen years and chose it at random for the very valid reasons that i thought it sounded cool and i wanted something that could be easily shortened into a nickname if i ever made internet friends! which, happily, i eventually did! 🥰

2. Any side blogs?

nupe! just a full stream of the hyperfixation du jour on main erryday all day!

3. How long have you been on tumblr?

i think 2012....? i can’t be bothered to check

4. Do you have a queue tag?

no. i use my queue sporadically and mysteriously so as to maintain that aforementioned firehose of uncurated horny on main every waking hour

5. Why did you start your blog in the first place?

i was so lonely!!! i took like a six month unofficial break from fandom interaction for busy life reasons and when i checked back in livejournal had vanished off the face of the earth and i was totally baffled about where everyone had gone. i literally posted on ao3 going WHERE DID FANDOM GO?? SOMEONE TELL ME!! and was kindly directed toward tumblr lmao

6. Why did you choose your icon/pfp?

it was bucky in a flower crown for a long time and in my heart it still is tbh, but i’m not into mcu actively these days, so i switched him out for the more eternal and less-specific combo of two things that are very important to me: pansexuality and the implication of steve rogers

7. Why did you choose your header?

bc i’m extremely in love with chewie and that picture blew my proverbial hair back

8. What’s your post with the most notes?

this absolutely cursed covid post which is NOT THAT FUNNY but got like 50k notes in a few weeks and briefly ruined my life by utterly destroying my notifications. thankfully it seems to have finally dropped off everyone’s radars and if any of you jokers bring it back i’ll never forgive you 

9. How many mutuals do you have?

idk, am i supposed to guess? probably like a hundred or something

10. How many followers do you have?

900ish? 

11. How many people do you follow?

a few hundred, but i think most of them i followed back when i first joined tumblr and was just automatically following everyone back bc i didn’t understand how everything worked. most of those blogs are inactive now and i’m hella choosy about who i follow these days

12. Have you ever made a shit post?

arguably everything i ever say is a shitpost

13. How often do you use tumblr a day?

a truly embarrassing number of hours

14. Did you ever have a fight/argument with another blog?

i don’t think so. my reflex on that block button is lightning fast. i’ve rickrolled a couple dumbass anons but that barely counts i think 

15. How do you feel about the ‘you need to reblog’ posts?

instant scroll-past as fast as humanly possible with only a brief pause to decide if i want to unfollow whichever philistine put it on my dash

16. Do you like tag games?

sure do!

17. Do you like ask games?

yeppers

18. Which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

lmao god i would never drag one of my beloved mutuals by implying that sort of character defamation

19. Do you have a crush on a mutual?

a rotating cast of them, sure! 

20. Tags

lowkey tagging @kaasknot @fahre @lingua-mortua @alakeeffectgirl@palamedessextus @rosewaterbobagrapefruit @mimsyaf and @thorniest-rose

[atomicwizardyouth]

Getting diagnosed with ASD as an adult

 Okay so I need to get some stuff off of my chest.

So I’ve only recently (~2 years ago) been diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD/Autism) and I got that diagnosis at age 22. Now how did I get this diagnosis you ask? Great question! I didn’t want to get tested for anything, I just needed someone to vent to so I could get rid of the fucking suicidal idealisation.

Oh but OP, it can’t be that bad? Fuck off. I went through hell in my teenage years with people dying every. Single. Fucking. Year. after I turned 13. It’s a long story, it usually takes 30-60 minutes to give people the short version so I’m gonna skip that for now.

So here’s what I figured out that sucks about autism:

- I don’t feel stress, I just feel headaches and muscle pains and then I need to figure out if it’s because of a whole list of reasons or just cuz of stress

- Apparently I am more sensitive to sounds, visual stimuli, light and smells than a regular person which causes me to be stressed out a lot quicker than a NT human. Yeah this is fucking great when you can’t feel the stress build up!

- I have low empathy and seriously struggle with the entire ‘putting myself into someone else’s position’ because I just can’t understand what it’s like for them (please don’t ever cry near me, PLEASE)

- My world is very easy: predictable = good, good = healthy schedules & taking care of myself. Unpredictable/changes = bad, bad = no energy, no structure & I basically ignore all of my bodily signals. That’s bad! (won’t eat and stuff like that)

- Logic is my standard reaction, if logic doesn’t work it’s immediate anger. Yeah it fucking sucks, I know, but I can’t fucking control it any more than I already do. What is a ‘minor inconvenience’ for a NT person can be a “PRESS THE BIG RED BUTTON FOR RAGE” for me and then I need to throw something, or break something because otherwise my head gets stuck in a feedback loop of anger, resentment & regret and then it gets WORSE. 

- I am always doing something with my fingers, hands or legs because otherwise something is wrong

- If someone messes with my schedule it can ruin my day and if it’s a big thing it can ruin a week or MORE and there’s NOTHING I CAN DO ABOUT IT. If you want me to do anything give me ~24 hour warning and I’ll be 100% fine. If you tell me at 8pm that my 9pm plans need to be changed? Be prepared to deal with stressed/anxious/angry me!

- I am afraid of what people might think of me now I’m labelled with something that’s this permanent and uncurable, so I am constantly anxious (working on that with therapy tho)

- People that break very clear rules around me make me FURIOUS, this is especially relevant during the pandemic. People that wear masks under their noses and people that don’t keep 1.5m distance suck a lot! People that don’t follow traffic laws (A RED LIGHT MEANS YOU STOP YOU FUCKHEADS) and it’s very rough to figure out that other people don’t see it like this and that I’m the ‘weirdo’ in this case. 

And now here are the good things!:

- I have a very strong long term memory where I can clearly recall details from conversations, things I learned or from random things if my brain deemed them important enough at the time. I can still vividly remember things I learned in elementary school and once that memory gets triggered I can recite that knowledge like I’d just read it (but it ONLY works if the memory gets ‘properly’ triggered)

- My logic & reasoning skills are very good!

- Languages are easy to pick up (apart from French, fuck French) since you just kind of learn the rules and then follow them and then you have a functioning language! (I’m fluent in Dutch & English, I’m passable in German and currently studying Danish because I want to)

- I’m great at finance & law! Rules rules rules rules rules they are SO NICE and it’s great to be able to follow rules to help people make sense of the insanity that law & finance is. I’m able to see minute details that are off (11 euros in a 10 million budget and that intuition of “something is OFF HERE” whenever I just look through finances and calculations. Also please play boardgames with me but GIVE ME THE MANUAL, PLEAAAASE. I absolutely love reading through them and then remembering all the rules and then I can explain them to everyone!!!!!!!!

- Hyperfixation on fun projects and stuff!!!! I absolutely love being able to just close myself off from the entire world to do something that my brain thinks is great to do at that time! That can sometimes be videogames (looking at you, civ 5 sessions that last 12+ hours for a few days in a row), something creative or even reading! I love to just jump into another world (especially magic!!!!) and just live through those books for a few days/weeks at a time

And just some general things:

- It’s great to see that talking about mental health has become more accepted in the online communities and it’s becoming better irl as well! I feel absolutely validated by some of the stories people have shared here on tumblr, but also on reddit and it makes me feel accepted and it makes me feel like I still belong in this world!

- Suddenly a lot of the stuff I did as a kid is now easily explained by “ah I was being an autistic kid at times” instead of trying to figure out why I did things differently or had more problems with certain things (seriously, fuck any art class that made me make an ‘original’ product, I can only IMITATE STUFF)

- Life is too short to be scared of your own disorders, so learn about them and try to deal with some of your shit and (hopefully) your life becomes a bit better :D

It’s tough for me to see the good instead of the bad (human brain being fucky and a bit depresso) but I hope some of you can relate to this or find this and figure out that you’re not alone!