#of rush in recent chapters
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i understand why people wanted (and still want) jujutsu kaisen to be darker and more tragic than it turned out but, not going to lie, pulling a tragic end now, in the last chapter, after delivering a conclusion consistent with the main theme and yuji's character development, just for the sake of cynical shock value would be EXTREMELY stupid of gege, and i do hope he's not going to ruin his story like that
#and ngl it would probably ruin the series in my eyes#idk i have a feeling that people are so desperate for edgy bloody ending that they are missing the simplest explanation#of rush in recent chapters#and its WSJ not giving yet another title of theirs enough magazine time to wrap things up neatly#everyone forgot mha even if its basically the same process?#and earlier naruto and bleach to name a few older madly popular titles?#this is a very ugly habit of their and gods i wish jjk was given time to breathe#and deliver a detailed ending it deserves no matter if good or bad or something in between#but it is what it is and series get chopped there as soon as they reach their climax and i don't think it will change any soon#and that it's basically expected of WSJ titles at this point#and yes i mean one piece too sadly#bas mumbles
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some pics of my special guy for photo mode monday!
#hi fi rush#chai hi fi rush#808 hi fi rush#escapism au#photo mode monday#angelimages.png#i've been thinking abt him a lot recently#for obvious reasons lol#speaking of actually! first chapter is almost done!#should be posted soon-ish
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Hello!
I saw that you would be happy to talk about Chivalry a bit, so I was wondering what your favourite part of it has been so far? Whether it be your favourite scene, a little detail that makes something come together, or a certain interaction that was particularly fun to write!
I really enjoy this fic, and I will say that you have single-handily made me (and probably the entire Elegies server) Hegemol fans! I got to give it a reread soon - I love the set-up and twist in Chapter 6, and all of the details that you add that really breaths life into the setting.
(Also, getting back to writing after hiatuses can be rough at first, but you got this thing! Just take your time - we'll always be excited for the Best Beetle Boy :) )
Thank you as always for the asks Tigerlily!! I'm sorry this one took so long to answer.
So far out of what's posted, I think chapter 6 with the dream sequence is my favorite thus far. It was very very fun to write, and I love diving into the more metaphysical sensory details. I've got so many more scenes in my head that won't happen until much later in the fic, and among those are some I can't wait to get to haha-- but for now, the fucked up dream sequence with Lurien (wink) is my favorite.
I also enjoyed writing the bath scene right before it but I had to edit it like 3 times because for some reason I initially wrote it EXTREMELY homoerotic like. More homoerotic than when I write actual sex scenes. Fellas is it gay to wash the grave dirt off of a previously dead knight??? (Yes)
#more to come soon i hope#a couple people have told me the most recent chapter 7 is their fave since mato and hegemol get to banter now :)#i hope his progression doesnt feel rushed but im also gonna be honest i need this man to get out of mato's hut soon#sir this is supposed to be a road trip to fight god fic stop making friends smh#mighty hegemol#wcwtd
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how are people finding my fic series from three full years ago. dkfjghs. who put me on a fic rec list be honest
#one person is a coincidence but TWO people leaving comments on it??? it was literally finished like july 2020#and it would be one thing if they commented on ANY of my more recent works. which is like. Anything that i've written for the witcher#but no it's straight back to the oldest series... strange strange#honestly i have NO idea how that shit holds up now. i felt like it was super rushed and sloppy when i wrote it#esp cause i was thinking up plot as i went so i was constantly frustrated over trying to connect plot threads that i left in the beginning#and forgot#which. i'm still doing now in my current wip. some things never change i guess#but people consistently seem to think i did a good job so either i was really good at bullshitting or the bar is fairly low đ#let's hope that 16 yr old me did a good job of representing the rest of us down the line </3#i would go reread it again for old time's sake but idk if i have 40k worth of old fic reading in me tonight haha#one thing i will say about putting word limits on chapters and just writing until you get there. you end up with rlly nice numbers#anyway. not complaining about the attention! haha :)#valentine notes#fanfic
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While I loved that interaction, that is all we got about something that could be taken as two of the most important (alive) people in Gojo's life mentioning him, thinking of him with fondness, or coming anywhere close to mourning him.
Then we got two pages of resolution of whatever emotional turmoil these two have going on
#And I do love the Megumi and Shoko scene! I do love it! But come on!!!#When I say Gege Akutami is introducing a lot of whatever characters to give them an ending#and then doing nothing in comparison with the main cast I mean this kind of stuff#I get there's five episodes left and a lot of things and characters he wants to give closure to but precisely#There's just five chapters left. When Nanami died there was that short yet heavy scene between Ijichiâ Shoko and Gojo#in which they mused there was only the three of them left anymore. There's nothing of the sort for Shoko or Ijichi now at the very end#The closest thing we've gotten is that one moment between Megumi and Shoko I just posted#And these dynamics are heavy and they imply very important characters pertaining to the main cast#Yet there's two pages of these two. Not to talk about the rushing of arcs that's been happening in these two last chapters#But if there's going to be truly a second part I think not entirely closed narrative arcs is not as terrible#But not closing 'emotional' arcs? That feels more clumsy to me. I don't think carrying 'emotional' arcs to a second part is as easy#The emotiveness and weight of the dynamics belong to this story. The author could extend on the second part more on idk#Megumi dealing with the loss of Tsumiki or Shoko with loneliness or whatever. For instance#But the very moment of grieving over Tsumiki or Gojo with everything they've been right after their loss with everything their loss means?#It belongs to this story alone. Just like the moment of dealing with Nanami's recent decease belonged to that moment/this story#And I feel the author is not giving at all the main characters almost any time to breath that for now. And idk. It's sad#And it's awkward writing I think. The absence so noticeable#And I feel it's something that can't be as easily done or added or developed later or on another story/part#So the numerous panels of much more secondary characters rushing narrative and emotional arcs for and with them feels to me a weird choice#All while Yuuji just made an offhand comment about Choso. All while Shoko had barely nothing at all. Ijichi and Todo had nothing#The Kamo boy had one panel. Nor Yuta nor Megumi nor Yuuji made any comment about Gojo#Perhaps we could admit those letters and that faint smile of Megumi as closure enough. But it's so weird#The panel proportion between main characters and very secondary characters and what they're being used for. It's weirdly distributed I think#It feels awkward and anticlimactic in a bad way#And it's very much a very clear example of what I meant every time I said JJK had the potential to be amazing and it's just mid haha#*sigh* it is what it is I guess#I don't want a second part at all tbh I hope they're not going with that#I talk too much#JJK spoilers
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ahahah... yes!!! yes!.. FINALLY..! flowing rivers of brand new blood!!! <- is happy about the prospect of bubble comics having a new influx of fans after major grom the game comes out
#maybe we'll get them into other projects. hehhehe last time it happened the recently finished demonslayer got such a good fanbase increase!#so. like with besoboi. we have a good chance of giving exlibrium the last hurrah it deserves (;-; it's... it's 8 chapters left T~T)#I mean... it's the last of their old era comic lines. it's quite important!#with exlibrium's ending comes the end of an entire fucking era! no wonder bubble takes a lot of time to finish it & doesn't rush it at all.#bubble comics
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Give Me One More
Pairing: Soft!Dark Bucky Barnes x Female Reader
Summary: You don't need Bucky. He's going to prove you wrong. Over and over and over...
Word Count: Over 3.7k
Warnings: DUBCON to be safe, explicit sexual content, unprotected vaginal sex, oral sex (f. receiving), overstimulation, masturbation, established and slightly toxic relationship, pet names, possessive behavior, family drama, betrayal, threats (not against reader), loose backstory, slight feels (it's me, okay?), Bucky Barnes (he's a warning and a bit mean, okay?).
A/N: I spoke about prisoner!Bucky ages back and I couldn't let this go. Especially not when I'm looking at that beautiful edit by the more beautiful @nixakimbo! â¤ď¸Not beta read and written on my phone, so any and all mistakes are my own (but thanks to @whisperlullaby for discussing this man with me!). Divider by the talented @saradika. Please follow @navybrat817-sideblog for new fics and notifications. Comments, reblogs, feedback are loved and appreciated!
You pushed the curtain aside to look out the bedroom window, the clouds dark and thick in the sky. Your home used to be your safe haven, a place of comfort, and all you wanted to do now was escape from your prison of sorts. Not the kind of place your boyfriend, Bucky, spent time in. The bars that kept you in couldn't be seen by the naked eye.
âCan't stay in there all day,â Bucky said from the hall, his deep voice reminding you that you weren't alone.
Youâd never be alone again.
âYes, I can,â you called back. You had been in your bedroom for well over an hour since you snapped at him and left him alone in the living room. If staying in there meant avoiding him, you were fine with that.
You half expected him to stomp down the hall, but he only said, âYouâre being a fucking brat.â
Blood rushed to your cheeks as anger flowed through you. âLeave me alone, asshole!â You shouted, feeling every bit like the brat he said you were.
You werenât sure what set you off today. It could've been because you were still angry that Bucky used you. How long did it take for an empire to fall? In your case, six months.
Half a year ago, Bucky Barnes bumped into you at your favorite coffee shop. Literally. He was large, built like a powerhouse, but his grip that kept you from falling was so gentle. One look in his cerulean eyes and you were a goner. He easily charmed his way into your life and bed. He treated you like a princess, better than any boyfriend before, and you naively believed it was fate that brought you together.
You shouldâve known it wasn't the beginning of a happy new chapter in your story. It was a clock winding down to your doom. More specifically, your fatherâs doom. Because Bucky wanted to destroy the man who helped land him in jail.
The White Wolf, a nickname for Bucky you recently learned about, wasn't a good man. Far from it and far from being a reformed criminal. He took it personally that your dad got him put behind bars for a short time. So he tore his life apart. Took his job away. Urged his friends to abandon or turn on him. Got him put in jail. Bucky even rubbed it in his face that he fucked his daughter. All in six months.
It would almost be impressive if you weren't the one living with the aftermath.
Had your dad known exactly who you were seeing, he may have tried to stop you.
âAsshole,â you muttered.
What Bucky didn't plan on was falling for you or so he said. You were, apparently, his chance at happiness. Because of that, he wouldn't let you go. And he expected you to just forgive him and move forward.
How could you forgive him?
He promised heâd hunt you down if you tried to leave him. You naturally tried and didn't get very far. The sick part was how much you enjoyed him chasing after you and bringing you back. After he fucked you where he found you.
As if he read your mind, he called out, âI know you're frustrated. Bet if you sit on my cock you'll feel better.â
Your cheeks flamed, your panties damp. Damn him for still arousing you with so little words. âGo fuck yourself.â
That actually wasn't a bad idea. He was right. You were frustrated and itching to get out of your own skin. Maybe if you got yourself off, youâd feel a little better. Not happy, but better.
âI don't need him,â you said.
That was what you told yourself as you stripped down and got on the bed. But as you ran your hands along your breasts, gasping as you moved one hand lower, it didn't feel right. The normal fire within you didn't burn. Didn't even a flicker. A raw ache instead outweighed the pleasure you tried to give yourself.
âDamn it,â you muttered.
You heard Buckyâs dark chuckle from the doorway and made the mistake of looking his way. You weren't sure how long he'd been standing there, but his cock was free from the confines of his pants and he lost his shirt at some point, too. He didn't attempt to hide the array of scars and tattoos that littered his torso. Ones you traced with your fingers and tongue more times than you could count. Back when you weren't a pawn in his game.
But if you really were a pawn, why did he have your name tattooed over his chest?
âLooks like you need a hand,â he said, brushing back his long hair as his eyes moved along your body from head to toe.
You ignored your racing heart as you said through your teeth, âGo away.â
He tore your life apart like a tornado, leaving destruction where there was once calm and beauty. Instead of letting you pick up the pieces, he continued to wreck everything around you. He broke you, too, but you were also the only thing he put back together.
The smirk he gave you was one you used to adore. âWhatâs wrong, princess? Still mad at me?â
You scoffed. Was he serious? âYes, Iâm fucking mad at you.â
âStill mad about the past? Or is it because you can't get out of your own head long enough to make yourself come?â He taunted, slowly stroking his thick cock. âDid you ever actually get yourself off before me? Or did you not know what an orgasm was until I gave you one?â
You watched with a lustful gaze as his hand moved up and down, your eyes not leaving the sight as you desperately tried to get some sort of relief. âI had plenty before you showed up,â you hissed, sliding a finger into your tight hole.
âYou know, all you have to do is admit that I'm right: That I've ruined you and all you can think about is how good it feels when I'm fucking you. Admit it and Iâll get you off.â
Pushing another finger inside yourself, you refused to admit that he was telling the truth. Nothing felt as good as he did. And that was the problem, wasn't it? You shouldn't want or need him. Not after everything he had done to your family.
He groaned as he watched your fingers sink in. âYou're so pathetic laying there. My pretty little slut wants to prove the impossible. Just wants to prove that she doesn't need me when we both know that's a fucking lie,â he grunted as his cock twitched, making you clench in want despite your anger at his words. âBetter hurry up and say it. Otherwise I'm going to come all over you and you're going to be left begging to come and not get off at all.â
You whined as a tear fell from your eye. âYou're an asshole. The lowest of the low.â
He chuckled as he brushed his thumb along the tip, watching as your eyes followed the motion. âNow you're just trying to hurt my feelings and that's mean, princess. That isn't you. I'm the mean one in this relationship.â
Your fingers froze as you narrowed your eyes. âRelationship? Don't you mean your prisoner?â
Your breath caught in your throat when he smirked, something darker than before. âYou think you're a prisoner? You have no fucking idea. Iâve been to prison. This is a fucking walk in the park,â he said, pouring more salt in the open wound when he added, âAnd your dad knows all about prison now, doesn't he?â
You choked on your next breath. âHow dare-â
âRelationship, prisoner, my girl. You're still fucking mine,â he snarled, the sound sending a shiver down your spine. âAnd I'm still right. So just say it. Tell me you need my cock and I'll get you off. Fuck that pretty pussy so good you cry for me. Won't even make you apologize for repeatedly calling me an asshole.â
âI wish I never met you,â you blurted out.
Guilt churned in your stomach at the hurt in his eyes. Why did you still care after what he did? Why did he matter to you? âYou don't mean that,â he whispered before he blinked, ice in his gaze. âYouâre just being a fucking brat.â
You let out a small scream of frustration when you removed your fingers and reached for your side drawer where you kept your vibrator. If Bucky was going to keep being an asshole who wouldn't get you off, your toy would. But he didn't let you get very far. Not when he was on you in a flash, throwing the toy far behind him and pinning your wrists above your head.
His breathing was almost as heavy as yours.
âOh no, princess. You're so confident you can come without me then that must mean you don't need any help at all coming,â he smirked, gripping your wrists tighter as you squirmed beneath him. You didn't dare look down when his cock brushed against your skin. âIt's cute that you think you're stronger than I am. That sexual frustration must really be fucking with your head. I can fix that.â
âYou're fucking sick. I don't⌠I⌠I don't need you,â you said, not having to see your eyes to know your pupils were blown with lust. Your tongue darted out to lick bottom lip before your gaze settled on his, challenging. âYou need me more than I need you. What was it you said? That I was the best pussy you ever had? And youâd be happy to keep your cock in me all day every day?â
âJust like my cock is the best you ever had.â
You opened your legs a bit more when he clenched his jaw. âAnd you don't want to finish on me. You want to be in me. If it were any other guy, he'd-â
He growled when he grabbed your chin. It was a reminder of just how strong he was and how he could hurt you if he wanted to. âThere are no other guys. Do you fucking hear me?â
It was your turn to smirk. Bucky was a lot of things, but he never strayed. Not once. He would forever be faithful. âYou sure about that? Maybe I can't relax right now, but if you won't fuck me Iâm sure I can find someone who-â
He flipped you on your stomach and gripped the back of your neck before you could finish that statement. âIf you think I wouldnât kill any guy who touches you, youâre out of your fucking mind. Keep pushing me, sweetheart. See what happens.â
You bit back a moan at the gravel in his voice as you turned your head to the side, glancing at him out of the corner of your eye. It was dangerous to poke the bear, but you were past the point of caring. Especially when fury looked beautiful on him. âWhat's wrong, Bucky? Don't like the taste of your own medicine?â
He leaned down, his breath harsh against your ear. âI prefer the taste of your pussy. Always so good for me. You wanna hear that I need you? Fine. I fucking need you,â he rasped, biting at your earlobe. âHappy?â
âAnd that youâre sorry?â
âFor hurting you? Yes,â he whispered, nosing along your neck. âNever meant to hurt you.â
You shuddered, almost delirious from needing to come. And the fact that he admitted that he needed you. That he was sorry for hurting you. But you weren't ready to play nice. âI'll be happier when you finally decide to fuck me, but you're just a fucking asshole, aren't you?â
He let out a slow breath. âYeah, I'm a fucking asshole.â He nipped your earlobe roughly again in retaliation before settling between your legs and teasingly brushing the tip of his cock along your folds. âAnd I'll fuck you when you say you need me, too.â
You tried to push back to take him in, but he kept a firm hold on your hips. You tried to wiggle out of it, but it only brought you frustration as you groaned. âIf you're really going to make me say it, don't hold your breath. You can't threaten me, Bucky. You're all talk. And guess what?â You said, smiling sweetly. âI can find another guy to fuck me better than you can.â
You couldnât see the thunderous look in his eyes, but you heard the low and menacing chuckle in his throat. It sent chills down your spine. Maybe you pushed too far this time, but you didnât care. He deserved it and worse.
âYou're trying to piss me off and I want you to remember that you pushed me to this,â he said more to himself than you before sheathing you in one hard thrust, your mouth falling open in a cry at his sudden intrusion. âHope you enjoy the bed since you won't even be able to walk out of this room.â
You stared at the wall, your eyes unseeing as Bucky tore you apart. Seconds passed. Minutes. Hours. The sound of his grunts from behind you filled your ears, along with the brutal slap of skin-on-skin. Your body burned, the overwhelming stretch from his cock making you lose sense of yourself. You told yourself heâd finish fucking you soon, but that felt like ages ago.
You also told yourself there was no way youâd have another orgasm, but he proved you wrong. Climax after climax, your release practically flooded around him. At this rate, you really wouldn't be able to get out of bed.
âBucky,â you gasped, trying to grip the sheets for purchase as he pulled out and slammed back into you. âPleaseâŚâ
You were boneless, exhausted, and he just kept going. âOh, no, princess. You wanted to get off.â
Tears of ecstasy streamed down your cheeks, whimpering when you felt yourself on the cusp of another orgasm. How was that possible? How many had he given you? âBucky, IâŚâ you moaned as you clenched around his cock again.
He cooed, a taunting sound when you choked on a sob. âSo good, but I want another.â
âI don't⌠â Your eyes rolled back, your head spinning. âI can't.â
Youâd seriously lost count at that point how many times youâd come. And your whimper didn't stop Bucky from mockingly cooing again. âAww, you don't think you can? My poor little fuck doll can still talk which means she hasn't had enough yet. This pussy is so fucking wet for me, so swollen,â he taunted, reaching underneath you and flicking your overstimulated clit as a choked moan escaped you, your walls tightening around him once again. âSee? Your greedy little cunt can't get enough of me.â
Why did your body need him so badly? âI can'tâŚâ you whined as he licked one of your tears away, seemingly unbothered by the sheen of sweat on your face.
âYou think anyone else can do this? Work your body up like this over and over again?â He grunted against your cheek. Your eyes squeezed shut at his harsh panting, his pace not slowing. âAll you had to do was say that you need me. But no. You just had to be a fucking brat.â
You practically wailed as you teetered on the edge of another orgasm. âI-I need you. Just you, Bucky,â you said. At least, you thought you said it. You had a tough time stringing any thoughts together with his cock splitting you open.
But his thrusts donât slow. They were just as relentless as before. âOh, no. You had your chance to say it,â he snarled, leaning up to pull your hips back against his. âAnd my pussy is telling me all I need to know. So just lay there and give me another.â
The pleasure bordered on the edge of pain as a sob escaped. There was no possible way you could come again. As much as you thought you couldnât take it, your body tensed. You still craved him and wanted to give him one more. So you did. You shattered. It was almost too easy that he managed to pull another orgasm from your pliable body.
Or maybe you were just easy for him.
Bucky smacked your ass hard enough to make you cry out, his hand kneading the flesh with a delighted groan. âFuck, each one is better than the last, princess. You want me to fill you up huh? You wanna feel me dripping from you?â He chuckled darkly, finally slowing down as you let out another sob. He shushed you before he put a hand on the back of your neck and kept you down. âIâm gonna fill you up and youâre gonna take it. Then, I'm gonna lick you clean until I'm satisfied.â
âNoâŚâ
He gave you one more smack for good measure when you made a sound of protest. âC'mon, princess. Beg for me to fill you up. If you can talk.â
You didnât know if you could. You were practically a drooling mess as he drove in as deep as he can go. âPl⌠Pl⌠BuâŚâ you tried to moan, another tear falling as he shushed you again.
âGot you cockdrunk, didn't I? Need to be pumped full? Then let me give you every. Fucking. Drop.â
A tired moan came out when he filled you up, giving a few slow thrusts as he finished. Your body trembled beneath him, a whiplash of chills and heat. You barely registered him pulling out before he flipped you onto your back. Glassy and unfocused eyes. Makeup smeared all your face. Tears stains on your cheeks. You mustâve looked quite the sight.
He relished in ruining you.
And the beautiful bastard didnât even look like he broke a sweat.
âShould I call you a dog? Youâre drooling, princess,â he smirked. You didnât have it in you to argue as his eyes drifted down to your pussy. It was still twitching and leaking with your mixed release. He licked his lips as he slid down your body more to fully take in the sight. âAnd you look good enough to eat, so I think that's just what I'll do.â
âWhatâŚâ you gasped. He couldn't. Not after all that.
You whimpered as you tried to push him away with a tired hand, but he grabbed your wrists with a tsk. âNo, no, no, sweetheart. You keep your hands to yourself. I told you I wasn't done with you and it's rude to keep a man from his meal.â
You were still floating from the multiple orgasms he gave you when he took his first lick. Your shivers picked up again and he groaned at your taste before diving in. Any strength you had to try to push him away depleted immediately, even with how sensitive your walls felt. You couldn't stop him.
Youâd never be able to stop him.
After a minute, your eyes widened when you felt him build you up again. âNo,â you moaned, but the sight of him between your legs, eating you like he was starving, was too much.
He just hummed against you. "Give. Me. One. More.â
Your back arched when his lips latched onto your clit, forcing the orgasm from your worn out body. You werenât sure if you made a sound, but you trembled as your release went on for what seemed like forever. Buckyâs tongue lapped it all up, humming before he sat back and looked at your wrecked form again. He made a show of licking the shine from his lips and looked just as proud as ruining you with his tongue the way he did with his cock.
âIf you ever try to threaten me with another man or refuse to admit you want me again, I'll make sure to tie you to this bed for a week and refuse to let you come even if you beg for it. And I shouldnât have to mention what else I can do. Do you understand?â
You trembled, knowing exactly what Bucky was capable of. While he never laid a hand on you to inflict pain, you knew the damage he did to others. Like the bodies buried and cold in the ground because of him. Not to mention the connections he still had at the prison. All he had to do was say the word and that would be the true end of your dad.
With unfocused and teary eyes, you gave him a nod. âYes, Sir,â you whispered.
âNow tell me you love me and that youâre sorry,â he ordered.
A tear slid from the corner of your eye. ââŚLove you. Iâm sorry.â
His smile was tender and for a second you forgot about everything else. âThatâs my good girl,â he praised, your heart betraying you like your body did when he kissed your lips. âAnd I love you, too.â
You whined as he left your line of sight, but he came back almost right away to sit beside you, the bed dipping under his weight. âDrink it, princess,â he urged, his voice gentler than before he helped you take a sip of water. He even smiled again when he wiped another tear of yours away. âWe can go back to the way it was before, you know. When you were blissfully unaware and we just quickly fell in love.â
The pain in your heart came and went as your breathing evened. You wished you could go back to innocent movie nights and meals. To waking up beside him with a smile on your face. To making love so passionate that you believed you were made for each other. There was no changing anything or going back. You could only move forward with him by your side.
Bucky sighed when you didn't say anything. âI know Iâm a piece of shit, but I won't stop loving you. And I think you learned your lesson.â
You blinked a little as you took another sip, on the verge of passing out.
âYouâre mine and Iâm never letting you go,â he whispered, brushing the gentlest of kisses against the top of your head. âDonât you ever fucking forget that.â
So... I know he isn't all good, but I had fun writing this and I hope you lovelies enjoyed it! Would love to hear your thoughts and maybe I'll expand on this? Love and thanks for reading! â¤ď¸
Masterlist â Bucky Barnes Masterlist â Ko-Fi
#navybrat writes#bucky barnes x reader#bucky barnes x female reader#bucky barnes x f!reader#bucky barnes x you#bucky barnes x y/n#bucky barnes#soft!dark bucky barnes#prisoner!bucky barnes#bucky barnes imagine#bucky barnes fanfiction#bucky barnes fic#bucky barnes au#james buchanan barnes#the winter soldier#bucky x reader#bucky x female reader#bucky x you#bucky fic#bucky imagine#sebastian stan#sebastian stan x reader#x reader#james bucky barnes#james bucky buchanan barnes#bucky barnes x fem!reader#winter soldier#bucky x f!reader
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á°áŠ motherhood and matrimony I ch 2 á°áŠ
ę¨ď¸ pairing. au ceo! satoru gojo x single mom secretary fem! reader
ę¨ summary. satoru gojo, the arrogant and irresistible heir to a billion-dollar corporation and the son of your boss, the ceo... but when satoruâs father dies unexpectedly, his inheritance hinges on a stipulation: he must marry and have a child, but the child doesn't necessarily have to be his, right? together, you strike a deal: a fake marriage that promises financial stability for you and corporate control for him. as the lines between business and emotion blur, you must decide if your partnership is purely contractual or if it could evolve into something real.
ę¨ď¸ warnings/tags. 18+ MDNI, nsfw, enemies to lovers, opposites attract, fake marriage, slow burn, smut, fluff, bit of angst, reader is single mom who recently broke off her engagement, satoru being a cute step dad, naoya is your crappy ex Âť ănote, there is physical & emotional intimidation in this chapter (from naoya not satoru), this is a form of domestic abuse, reader discretion advisedă
ę¨ words: 12.5k
ę¨ a/n. firstly, wow thank you so much for all your kind words on ch 1 :") secondly, this series may be more than 3 chapters (maybe more like 4 or 5?) idk i'm still working out the pacing rn bc i really want the relationship to feel fluid and natural. this chapter ended up being much longer than i anticipated đ
but as always, i would love to hear your thoughts and hope you enjoy âĄ
ę¨ taglist: closed (ao3)
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ch 2 // under the spotlight
Becoming a mother makes you realize you can do almost anything one-handedâthough honestly, sometimes you wish you had an abundance of limbs. Â
Especially now. Your apartment is a whirlwind of activity â scattered toys, half packed bags and the remnants of breakfast still on the table. Youâre in the middle of prepping your daughterâs essentials, trying to make sure you donât forget anything important. Her preferred snacks, extra clothes, diapers, and a few of her favorite toys all stuffed into a bag.
âMama, mama, look!â
Haruâs innocent voice rings out like a melody amidst your morning clamor. Halting your frantic movements, youâre drawn to her face, lit up with pure joy as she holds up her beloved Pikachu plushie. The bright yellow toy bounces in her hands as she makes it dance.
Her innocence provides a brief, much-needed, calm to the storm of nerves brewing inside of you. After all, todayâs the day youâre meeting with Satoru and his lawyer to finalize the marriage contract. Your marriageâweird.
It feels odd saying it, the word foreign on your tongue. Marriage is a concept you never thought youâd be rushing into, especially not like this.
Once upon a time, you thought youâd marry Naoya Zenin.
Back then, you were so in love with his charm, his confidence, and the way he seemed to have everything figured out. But reality had a way of shattering those illusions.
His charm turned to arrogance, his confidence to control. It wasnât long before you realized he cared more about owning you than loving you, and now youâre left with nothing but heartache and a broken family.
But amidst your turmoil you found a precious giftâHaru.
Her infectious giggle is a stark contrast to the chaos within your mindâit always manages to pull you back from your whirlwind of worries.
Youâll do anything in your power to keep her smiling, even if that means marrying Satoru Gojo, the man who is guilty for an abundance of your headaches.
With a deep breath, you zip up your duffle bag and turn to Haru who is lovably babbling to Pikachu.
âCome here, sweetie,â you say, kneeling down with her small jacket in your hand.
She toddles over to you, clutching her comforting plushie, eyes wide and curious.
Easing her tiny arms into the sleeves, you gently help Haru into her jacket.
âWeâre going to meet some new friends today,â you tell her softly, fastening the buttons with care. âOne of them is named Mr. Gojo.â
âMr. Gojo?â she echoes, face scrunching up in concentration.
Truth be told, you weren't planning on bringing Haru to this meeting, but youâre faced with a lack of options, especially since technically, youâre fired.
Well⌠temporarily.
Until Satoru rehires you, paying the nanny isnât feasible with your already stretched finances, Utahime, your ever-reliable friend, is unavailable. Your neighbor, who sometimes steps in to help, is out of town, and your mom is⌠your mom â as undependable as ever.
At this point you'd rather be caught dead than call Naoya again.
Calling him yesterday, when your nanny bailed, was a moment of pure desperation, a lapse in judgment driven by the chaos of the day and the fear of getting fired. Not your proudest moment.
Itâs no surprise heâll likely use it against youâhold it over your head like a weapon. Itâs a pattern youâre all too familiar with.
But today marks the beginning of a new chapter, one that youâre determined to make the best of for both you and your daughterâonce this marriage is finalized, youâll be back to earning a steady income again.
A sigh escapes your lips as you focus back on Haru, her innocent eyes look up at you expectantly.
âYes, Mr. Gojo,â you repeat, giving her a reassuring smile as you reach down to tie her shoelaces. âWeâre going on an adventure today, just you and Mommy.â
âAn adventure!â Haru cheers, clapping her hands in unbridled excitement.
Just as you pull the last loop tight, a knock reverberates through the front door, startling you. Itâs unexpected, you werenât anticipating any visitors.
With a deep breath, you twist the handle and pull the door open. The sight that greets you sends a cold wave of dread crashing over you, your heart pounding in your chest.
Speak of the devilâNaoya.
He has an uncanny knack for impeccable timing, always appearing when heâs least wanted.
His presence is as imposing as everâa smirk crowned on his lips, posture relaxed, hands in his pocketsâexuding an air of ownership over everything thatâs around him.
As if he owns you.
Damn it. You really canât deal with this right now; you donât have the time. Satoru is expecting you, and you need to get moving.
Leaning nonchalantly against the doorframe, he surveys you with that annoyingly smug expression plastered upon his face.
"Well, well, if it isn't my two favorite girls," he drawls, sarcasm dripping from his voice.
The frustration you feel from Naoya is vastly different from what you experience with Satoru. With Satoru, it's harmlessâlike dealing with a mischievous child. But with Naoya, every sight of him makes you want to flee, as if each encounter is a battle you barely survive. He reopens old wounds that never truly healed, leaving you raw and exposed.
Every fiber of your being screams in protest at the sight of him, but you force yourself to maintain composureârefusing to let him see the effect he has on you.
"What do you want, Naoya? I really donât have time for this today."
Turning away from him, you begin gathering the last of Haruâs things with brisk, precise movements, making it clear you have no intention of prolonging this interaction.
He steps inside, smirk widening with satisfaction and tone laced with mock concern.
"Just thought I'd drop by and see how you're managing. Got your message. Heard you were looking for a babysitter yesterday.â
As expectedâyouâre really kicking yourself for calling him. His false sympathy only heightens your irritation, grating on your nerves as the condescension drips from his words like venom.
If you werenât already leaving, you would slam the door right in his smug face.
Gritting your teeth, you attempt to keep your tone steady, for no one other than Haru.
"We're fine, Naoya. We donât need your help."
In hopes to end this conversation quickly, you grasp Haruâs hand and attempt to brush past him. But he sidesteps, effectively forbidding your path to the door, looming like an unwanted shadow.
"Still as stubborn as ever, I see. Howâs that working out for you?â he scowls as he peers through your apartment, âThis place is a mess. And you donât look like youâre dressed for work. Lost your job already?â
His words hit a nerve, you feel your cheeks flush with a mixture of anger and embarrassment.
"We are managing just fine. Now, if you'll excuse us, we have somewhere to be."
But he wasnât going to let you go so easily. His expression darkens, and as you repeatedly try to step past him, he halts you yet again, blocking your way like an insurmountable wall.
"And where exactly are you going? Shouldn't you be at work today?"
"That's none of your business. I really need to go," you retort, lifting your chin assertively as you force your way past him. Your shoulder brushes against his in a deliberate act of defiance.
The moment you cast him aside, he immediately pursues afterâbut choosing to ignore him, you close the door behind you, turning the lock with a decisive click.
As you start leading Haru towards the elevator, you adopt a brisk pace in hopes to put as much distance between you and Naoya as possible.
But he raises an eyebrow, smirk widening as he traverses after you. You hear his footsteps echoing down the hallway of your apartment complex.
"Oh, I think it is my business. Especially when it concerns my daughter."
Oh, please.
Itâs painfully ironic how he pretends to care about Haru only when it suits him.
After you served him child support papers, he had the audacity to demand a DNA test, claiming he needed âproofâ that Haru was his. Of course, something like that takes time for the judge to arrange.
He knew that damn wellâit was just another ploy to delay the process further.
As anger bubbles up within you, a scoff escapes your lips, teetering on the edge of a bitter laugh.
"Oh, so sheâs yours when itâs convenient for you. Don't pretend you care about Haru now. Youâve done nothing but make our lives difficult."
Your movements are sharp and frantic until you finally halt in front of the elevator. Just as you press the button to descend, Naoyaâs presence descends over youâsuffocating like a dark cloud, his face twisting into a menacing scowl.
"Maybe if you werenât so damn stubborn, things wouldnât be so difficult. You know, if you ever need help, all you have to do is ask," the insincerity in his voice makes your skin crawlâas his words slither into your ears, each syllable is laced with a condescending edge.
You scoff, jabbing the button over and over again with mounting urgency. Can this damn elevator come any faster?
"Help? From you? I'd rather figure things out on my own than rely on your 'help'."
He steps closer, making you feel small and cornered. Itâs a familiar tactic he would use to get his wayâthe accustomed sense of intimidation he used to exert over you returns, chilling your spine.
"Suit yourself. Just remember, you canât keep this up forever. Sooner or later, youâll realize you need me again,â his voice drops to a low, threatening whisper, the underlying menace making it clear that he relishes the control he still believes he has over you.
Suddenly, you feel small tiny hands gripping tightly onto your leg. Haruâs wide eyes dart between the two of you, her innocent face reflecting a nervous unease that she canât fully understandâbut you do.
Fuck it. Enough is enough. You can't let this continue any longerâscrew the elevator.
With a determined breath, you scoop Haru into your arms, feeling her trembling slightly against you. "Come on, sweetie," you say softly.
Her tiny heart beats against your chest, mirroring your own anxiety. Holding her close, you immediately head towards the stairway, your stride quickening.
But Naoya's presence lingers, his footsteps echoing ominously after you.
âReally, Naoya?â
Oh, this is it. Your patience is wearing thinâheâs like a growth you canât get rid of.
You feel Haruâs grip tighten around your neck as she buries her face into your shoulder. You have been trying desperately not to yell, for Haruâs sake, but at this point, Naoya is overstepping your boundaries.
âJust go away. The only thing I need from you is to hurry up and finish that damn DNA test,â you shout, refusing to look back as you head towards the stairs. âThere was no reason for that bullshit; you know Haru is yours. I know youâre just trying to stall our court date,â you snap, your voice trembling with frustration and anger.
Naoyaâs eyes gleam with a cold amusement, and the corners of his mouth curl up into a mocking smile.
"Stalling? Hardly. Youâre insane, I just want to be thorough. You should understand that, being so meticulous yourself," he sneers, tone derisively sweet.
Finally, you reach the stairwayâbeginning your descent, Haru clings tightly to you as Pikachu dangles precariously from each hurried step.
"This conversation is over, Naoya,â your voice echoes in the narrow space. âStay out of our lives. I only want to see you in court."
Naoya contemplates following you, lowering himself a few steps before abruptly stopping. As his voice reverberates through the stairwell, his unsettling demand bounces off the cold concrete walls, chilling you to your core.
"For now, y/n. But remember, this isnât over. Not by a long shot. You always come crawling back to me one way or another. Youâre incapable of anything without me."
There was a time when you believed those words, but you will not fall back into that same vicious cycle.
Choosing not to respond, your resolve is sharpened with one clear goal, getting Haru and yourself out of this building as quickly as possible.
The moment you clear through the lobby door, a shaky sigh escapes your lips. This day is already starting off with a bangâhopefully it goes much better at Satoruâs.
Forcing a smile for your frightened daughter, you try to mask the tears welling up in your eyesâthe tremor in your voice quaking.
âCome on honey, letâs go meet Mr. Gojo.â
Time to get this marriage finalized.
ę¨ď¸
You had expectations of what Satoruâs house would be like, but even those couldnât hold a light to the real thingâitâs a stark contrast to the modest apartment you call home.
The meticulously manicured lawn, the pristine arcadian, and the large, ornate door all showcase opulence.
Itâs far more luxurious than you had imagined, making you feel distinctly out of place as you step out of your car in your worn jeans and t-shirt, hair pulled up in a lazy bun.
WaitâŚshould you have come dressed businesslike?
But you have Haruâwas this supposed to be a professional meeting? Fuck.
On top of everything else, youâre already a few minutes late. Tardiness has become a tiresome trend in your life, one that exhausts you to your very core.
Traversing the entryway, Haru grips your hand tightly as you walk through the stone pathway. Her fingers tremble slightly, perhaps from the unsettling encounter with Naoya, or perhaps from the overwhelming new environment.
Nerves simmer through you once you approach the doorway, but you resolve to mask them. You werenât going to let Naoya ruin your dayâthis meeting is your chance to retake control of your life.
As you reach out and press the doorbell, a soft melodic chime resonates, echoing through the spacious foyer beyond.
Within moments, the door swings open, revealing Satoru.
You immediately feel a sense of relief as you observe him dressed surprisingly casualâa fitted blue t-shirt that accentuates his broad shoulders and lean frame, paired with dark jeans that hug his long legs. His snowy hair remains tousled in that effortlessly stylish way, framing his strikingly handsome face.
Itâs impossible to advert your eyes as he greets you with that familiarly confident smile curling upon his lips, and those vivid blue eyes, enchanting you with an intriguing glint.
âHm, late again, I see,â Satoru teases, dramatically placing a hand over his heart as if wounded with an exaggerated sigh. âI was starting to worry you wouldnât show up. Here I was, thinking you might divorce me before we even get marriedââ he stops, lifting his brow as his gaze shifts to the small figure peeking out from behind your legs.
âWell, well, and who is this?â
Haruâs wide eyes are filled with curiosity and apprehension. She peeps out nervously, clutching her plushieâs worn, familiar fabric for comfort.
Satoruâs smile softens as he looks at the little girl, but a twinge of uncertainty tugs at him internally. Children were a mystery to him, their emotions and reactions unpredictable.
What should he say? How should he act?
A flicker of fear crosses his mindâwhat if he says the wrong thing and makes her cry?
Oh GodâŚ
The thought of dealing with a child's tears makes him feel out of his depth, a sensation heâs not accustomed to. Satoru finds himself in unfamiliar territory. Heâs used to commanding rooms and negotiating high-stake deals, not interacting with shy children clutching stuffed toys.
But faking confidence has always worked in the business world, and he is determined to make a good impression now.
As you notice Haruâs uncertainty, you gently caress her head, delicately coaxing her out from behind your legs.
"Itâs okay, sweetie. This is Mr. Gojo, can you say hi?"
There is an air about youâthe gentle ease in your voice, the way you instinctively know how to comfort Haru. It stirs something within Satoru, something he canât quite place.
All he knows it that now he really doesnât want to fuck this up.
"Iâm really sorry for bringing her along," you begin, tone earnest as you meet Satoru with an apologetic gaze. "I hope itâs okay. I just didnât have anyone who could watch her today. But sheâll keep to herself during our meeting, I promise."
Satoruâs expression softens further as he looks at Haru, his uncertainty momentarily forgotten. She is so fragile, so docile. In her delicate features, he sees an uncanny resemblance to youâa small reflection of your strength and vulnerability intertwined.
âOh, itâs no problem at all,â he reassures softly. Crouching down to her level, his toothy smile is warm and inviting. âHi there, Iâm Satoru. Whatâs your name?â
Haru looks up at you for reassurance, her small hand tightening around your leg. Encouraged by your nod, she turns back to Satoru and whispers tentativelyâ
âHaru.â
Satoru grins, captivated by the softness and delicacy of Haru's voice. Though he is uncertain how to connect with a child. His mind racesâ
What do kids like?
What should he say next?
While his thoughts scramble, a spark of an idea forms the moment he observes Haru clutching Pikachu.
âNice to meet you, Haru. Do you like PokĂŠmon?â
Haru nods, her grip on the plushie relaxing slightly. There is a subtle warmth behind the apprehension in her eyes as she holds up her Pikachu toy to show Satoru.
âYes, Pikachu.â
âPikachu is pretty cool,â he lets out a contemplative hum as he tries to find common ground. A faint nostalgic smile plays on his features. âBut you know, Digimon is even better. Have you ever heard of Agumon?â
Haruâs eyes widen with curiosity as she shakes her head, her interest clearly piqued.
Satoruâs inner child shines throughâeyes sparkling with a genuine enthusiasm as his lips curl up into a grin. This is his chance to bridge the gap between them.
âTell ya what, maybe we can watch some Digimon together sometime. Howâs that sound?â
You feel Haruâs grip loosen on your leg. A faint smile touches her lips and a quiet giggle escapes as her initial shyness begins to slowly fade.
âOkay.â
There are many thoughts that come to your mind as you watch this interaction play outâthe foremost being how unexpectedly gentle Satoru can be with kids. Something about him, that overconfident and sometimes arrogant man youâve worked beside, feels different now. Almost likable.
Charming, even
But what you really canât fathom the most is the image of a sophisticated billionaire engrossed in a kidsâ cartoon. That concept alone is enough to make you suppress a laugh.
âYouâre a fan of Digimon?â you raise an eyebrow.
Satoru stands up, brushing off his knees with a nonchalant shrug and a crooked smile.
âI used to watch it all the time growing up. Please, come in,â he ushers you inside the building, leading you down the grand hall.
Your breath hitches at the sight of the expansive foyer. The high ceiling, polished marble floors, and impressive chandelier casting a warm glow leave you speechless.
Following behind him, you find yourself studying Satoruâs confident stridesâthe movement of his back, his broad shoulders and the effortless air of authority he exudes. Itâs a stark contrast to what you just witnessed moments ago with Haru.
But that alone makes him even more intriguing to you. Satoru can feel a bit like a wild card. Glimpses of tenderness hidden behind feigned aloofnessâsubtle playfulness followed by an exacting seriousness.
He keeps surprising you.
âI wouldnât have pegged you for a Digimon fan,â you remark as you follow behind him.
Satoru chuckles, scratching the back of his head.
âGuilty as charged.â
You canât help but notice the way he avoids your gazeâis he perhaps being⌠bashful?
Oh, this is rich.
You really would need an abundance of limbs to count on your hands the amount of times Satoru has given you shitâmaking your life a daily torture is his specialty after all. Perhaps that is why you couldnât resist letting this opportunity pass up.
âNext thing youâll tell me is that you have a secret stash of Digimon cards somewhere,â you snort.
Satoru lets out a contemplative hum.
âWell, I did have a pretty impressive collection back in the day. Who knows, maybe I still have them tucked away in a drawer somewhere.â
âSeriously?â you are unable to hide the amusement in your voice. âYou, with a collection of Digimon cards? Thatâs something Iâd pay to see.â
He rolls his eyes with a pout tugging on his lips.
âYouâre enjoying this too much. Maybe Iâll dig them out for you one day. But only if youâre nice.â
You scoff, shaking your head in disbelief.
âMe, nice to you? Thatâs a tall order.â
A faint chuckle leaves Satoruâs lips as the spacious foyer transitions into a grand hallway. Haru skips beside you, glancing up at Satoru with a newfound admiration.
The moment you reach a large set of intricately carved wooden doors, he pauses, turning to you with a reassuring smile before pushing them open.
Inside, a cozy yet sophisticated study awaitsâshelves lined with books and a large mahogany desk dominating the room.
âYo, Suguru,â he waves flippantly, âthis is y/n and her daughter, Haru.â
Your eyes are met with a man seated behind the deskâa calm and composed air about him. He is strikingly beautiful, raven hair tied back into a bun with louse tousles framing his face. As he looks up from a stack of papers, his sharp yet gentle eyes focus on you and Haru. He rises, extending a hand with a polite smile.
âPleasure to meet you both. Iâm Suguru Geto.â
âNice to meet you as well,â you shake his hand with a subtle nod.
The presence of another stranger causes Haruâs shyness to return as she hides behind your legs againâyou kneel down, smoothing her hair gently.
âHaru,â you pull out a small bag of her favorite toys from your duffle bag, âwhy donât you take a seat over there and play with your toys while Mommy talks with Mr. Gojo and Mr. Geto?â
With a light nod, Haru takes the bag and settles into a comfortable armchair in the corner of the roomâspreading out her treasures with a look of concentration.
You take a seat across from Suguru, with Satoru sinking into the chair beside youâposture relaxed and seemingly indifferent.
âAlright, letâs get down to business,â Suguru leans forward, âIâve drafted the marriage contract based on the discussions Iâve had with Satoru. Iâll walk you through the main points.â
Referencing the document upon the desk, he begins.
âFirstly, as you both know, the purpose of this marriage is strictly business-related with no romantic implications. Both parties agree to maintain the appearance of a committed relationship in public and professional settings.â
Okay, easyâright?
You nod, but in the corner of your eye you can see Satoru lounging back in his chair. The mild disinterest on his face and the nonchalant way he twirls a pen between his fingers makes you grit your teeth.
He carries a casual attitudeâone you shouldnât be surprised with at this point because itâs the same infuriating aura he brings to every business meeting. But in this case, itâs a stark contrast to the gravity of this conversation. Here you are, discussing marriage and heâs sitting here as if youâre determining what to eat for lunch.
Yup, nothingâs changed. He still aggravates the hell out of you.
âNext, the duration of the marriage is set for one year, starting from the date of signing,â Suguru continues. âThere are provisions for extending or terminating the marriage early, should both parties agree.â
You absorb every word as you listen intently, but Satoru seems to be in his own world. It takes all your self-control not to roll your eyes as you catch him leaning back further into his chair, now balancing it on two legs. He taps his pen against his lip thoughtfullyâan indifferent expression plastered across his face.
Is he even listening?
Here you are, about to commit to a fake marriage for the sake of your job and your daughter, and Satoru looks like a bored child.
You shoot him a sideways glance, silently willing him to take this more seriously, but the moment he catches your eye he simply offers a lazy wink, making your blood boil even more.
Suguru, unfazed by Satoru's demeanor, continues outlining the contract.
âThe financial arrangements are nextâŚSatoru will include a monthly allowance to you, y/n, to cover personal and household expenses. Both parties will maintain separate bank accounts, and any joint financial decisions require mutual consent.â
You blink in surprise. A monthly allowance?
Though you had asked Satoru to cover child care, you werenât expecting this level of financial support. Isnât that a bit excessive?
âWait, what?â you blurt out, unable to hide your astonishment. âA monthly allowance? For personal and household expenses?â
Satoruâs chair drops back onto all four legs with a soft thud as he leans forward, finally showing a hint of interest. He raises an eyebrow at your reaction, a lazy smile curling his lips.
âWe wouldnât want you or Haru to struggle, now, would we?â
His words sound almost considerate, but itâs the casual way he says them that makes you question his sincerity.
âSome might see you being my secretary as a conflict of interest now. Youâll still work beside me, but I canât give you a formal salary for that role. Doing it this way ensures that all you have to worry about is playing your part. Besides,â he adds, a hint of amusement creeping back into his voice, âwhat kind of husband would I be if I didnât support my wife?â
Raising an eyebrow, you shoot him a wary look, trying to gauge his true intentions. It makes sense⌠but is he mocking you, or is this his way of showing genuine concern? With Satoru, itâs always hard to tell.
Suguru clears his throat, drawing your attention back to the contract.
âMoving on to the living arrangements, you will both reside in the marital home here.â
Satoru interrupts, tone almost too nonchalant as he leans back in his chair and lazily stretches, âIâve already arranged for a moving company to pack your things in a few days. Theyâll handle everything.â
You blink, the suddenness of it all sinking in.
âHuh?â
âProblem, sweetheart?â
âI... I didnât realize Iâd be moving in so⌠soon. What about my apartment? I have a lease, and breaking it will incur a penalty.â
He waves off your concern with a dismissive hand, leaning back further with hands casually behind his head.
âIâll pay it. Consider it handled. No point in you staying there when youâre supposed to be living here.â
Your eyes widen, taken aback by his insouciant dismissal of what, to you, is a significant expense.
âYouâre sure?â
âOf course. We need to make this look legitimate, and that means living together. Consider it part of the arrangement.â
To him, solving problems with money seamed effortless.
To you, this isnât just a contract; itâs a complete upheaval of your life.
Youâre starting to really feel the difference in your two worlds.
The abruptness is a bit overwhelming, and yet, Satoru seems to handle it with the same ease he applies to all his business dealings.
Itâs a bit unnerving. Itâs not that you arenât grateful, but you canât help but wonderâŚdoes he pity you? See you as a charity act?
Suguru, sensing your hesitation, interjects your thoughts with a soothing tone,
âItâs important for appearances that you both share a residence. It solidifies the arrangement in the eyes of your colleagues and the public.â
You take a deep breath, nodding again. âRight, I understand.â
Suguru nods, making a note on the document.
âGood. Now, letâs move on to the responsibilities and obligations. Youâre both expected to attend public and social functions, maintaining the façade of a loving marriage.â
Satoru who still remains leaned in his chair, now has his head tilted back, looking up towards the ceiling.
"Oh, and by the way," he begins, eyes flicking to you while his posture remains unmoved, "we'll be getting married at the courthouse tomorrow to make things official on paper. Our public ceremony will be a grand affair, but it will come later to keep the media satisfied and appease everyone."
Tomorrow?
You give a hesitant nod, absorbing the rapid pace at which your life is changing.
âAlrightâŚtomorrow.â
Suguru flips to the next page, âIn terms of termination, either party can initiate it with a 30-day notice. Grounds for early termination include breach of contract or mutual consent. Upon termination, Satoru will provide a one-time settlement payment to you, y/n.â
You blink as Suguru pushes the contract towards you, the settlement amount highlighted in bold. Did Satoru add a few extra zeros by mistake? That number canât be correct, right?
You glance up at Satoru, who is now inspecting his nails with a look of utter boredom.
âIs thisâŚcorrect?â you ask, voice barely above a whisper.
Satoru looks up, meeting your eyes with a casual shrug.
âYeah, itâs correct. Consider it a thank you for playing along.â
You shake your head slightly, trying to wrap your mind around the figure. This settlement could change your life, secure Haruâs future, and give you the stability youâve been desperately seeking.
You could pay off your medical bills for the childbirth, could go back to school. Hell, you could be free of Naoya, you wouldnât need him or his money.
You narrow your eyes, suspicious of his sudden generosity.
"And whatâs the catch?â
Satoru chuckles, a lazy grin spreading across his face as he leans forward, resting his chin in his hand.
"Come on now, sweetheart. Just think of it as me taking care of my...business partner."
Suguru clears his throat, glancing between the two of you.
âWell, there is one additional detail, y/n. The settlement is contingent on maintaining a favorable public image. Any actions or behaviors that damage Satoruâs reputation would result in the forfeiture of all financial support and settlement funds.â
You blink, the implications dawning on you. Ah, of course there would be a conditionâyou knew better than to think he was just being generous.
âSo⌠Iâm responsible for upholding your image? What does that even mean?â
Satoruâs crooked grin widens.
âIt means no scandals, no controversies. You play the part of the perfect spouse, attend events, smile for the cameras, and keep any...personal indiscretions out of the spotlight. Simple enough, right?â
Your stomach churns as you realize the depth of his controlâyou thought you were escaping Naoyaâs grasp, but it seems control is still a prevalent force in your life.
This isnât just a marriage of convenience; itâs a binding agreement that keeps you in line with his public persona, ensuring that any slip-up on your part will have dire financial consequences.
A part of you canât blame him, though. It makes sense for him to take extra precautions. The Gojos have always been in the public eye, and there have been countless rumors about Satoru's refusal to settle down.
âWhat if something happens thatâs out of my control? What if someone tries to smear my name?â
Satoruâs eyes harden slightly, though his smile remains.
âWeâll handle that on a case-by-case basis. But letâs just say I have ways of managing the media. You just need to play your part, nothing more.â
The calculated control in his tone, juxtaposed with his unwavering smile, makes your skin prickle with unease. The room feels suddenly colder, and a knot tightens in your stomach. You thought you were stepping into a partnership, but now it feels like a performance where one wrong move could cost you dearly.
Suguru interjects, his tone professional.
âThis clause is essential for protecting both your interests and Satoruâs. Maintaining a positive public image is crucial for the success of this arrangement and for avoiding any complications that could arise from negative publicity.â
You take a deep breathâthis was a gamble. The settlement would secure Haruâs future, your future, but your every move would be scrutinized, and any misstep could strip away the stability you desperately needed.
Your eyes wander to Haru, quietly and innocently playing with her toys. For her sake, you were willing to play Satoruâs game, even if it meant living under the constant pressure of his expectations.
âAlright,â you say firmly. âI agree to the terms.â
Satoruâs eyes flicker with satisfaction and Suguru leans forward sliding a pen towards you both.
âGood. If you both agree to these terms, we can proceed with the signing.â
You observe Satoru as he reaches for the penâhe is back to that usual air of nonchalance; it is almost unsettling. He signs the document with a flourish, barely glancing at the terms, and you envy his composure.
When he hands you the pen, meeting your eyes with a confident smile, you hesitate for a secondâthen, with a determined snatch, you take the pen from his delicate hand.
Holding your breath, you press the pen to paper and sign your name in one fell swoop. Each stroke of the pen feels heavy, final, but also strangely empowering.
No turning back now.
ę¨ď¸
The courthouse ceremony was as brief and impersonal as you expected.
Something about Haru witnessing you legally enter into a fake marriage just didnât feel rightâso you opted to leave her with Satoruâs nanny.
Standing in front of the judge, reciting vows, and signing the official documents felt more like a business transaction than a wedding.
Glancing at Satoru, you couldn't help but feel a bit solemn as you observed him, his expression as indifferent as ever.
This wasn't the fairy tale wedding you once dreamed of. There was no crowd, no rings, no romantic gesturesâjust a legal agreement with a pen on paper, binding you to him for the next year.
But then again, you knew that coming into thisâit was never about romance or dreams; it was about survival and securing a future for Haru.
It was over as quickly as it beganâjust like that, the judge declared you husband and wife, immediately leaving you alone with Satoru right after.
Noticing your serious expression, Satoru leans in slightly as you gather the official documents.
"You look like you're attending a funeral, not a wedding Mrs. Gojo," his voice drips with playful mockery.
Hearing him call you âMrs. Gojoâ sends a shiver down your spine. That was going to take some getting used to.
âAnd you look like youâre at a board meeting, not your wedding, Mr. Gojo,â you retort, unable to hide the underlying bite in your voice as your fingers shuffle through the pages.
A deep chuckle reverberates through the otherwise solemn atmosphere. Once you tuck the documents under your arm, you begin to make your way towards the exit. Satoru immediately falls into step beside you.
âTouchĂŠ. But really, lighten up sweetheart. Gonna need to work harder to convince everyone youâre head over heels in love with me,â thereâs a playful challenge in his voice.
Rolling your eyes, you couldnât help but let out a dry laugh.
âWell, forgive me for not swooning over this magical moment. You know, this isn't exactly how I pictured my wedding day," you mutter, trying to mask the internal melancholy whirling within you.
When you reach for the door, Satoru beats you to it, holding it open with a flourish.
"Oh? And how did you picture it?â he raises an eyebrow as his eyes gleam in amusement, âLet me guess, lots of flowers, a big white dress, and some poor guy professing his undying love for you?"
Okay, screw him. He was really not making this any better. You feel the heat rise to your face as a scoff escapes your lipsâthe only response you will give him.
Brushing past him, your heels click against the polished floors through the marble halls of the courthouse. As you glance to the tall, ornate windows lining the corridor, the sunlight streams through, casting intricate patterns.
âHmm, think I guessed right,â he chuckles as he saunters after you.
âAnd what if you did?â you snap, voice echoing in the grand space. âIs it so weird for me to want a normal family for my daughter?â
The teasing glint in his eyes dim as his expression softens slightly. Once you reach the elevator, Satoru presses the buttonâthe two of you wait in an awkward silence.
The moment the elevator door slides open, you both step inside, the quiet hum of the machinery enveloping you.
âNo, itâs not weird. Itâs just... different from what Iâve ever thought about,â he says while he presses the button to the lobby.
You huff, crossing your arms as you lean against the back of the elevator.
âWhat, Mr. Perfect never thought about settling down?â
Satoru's gaze drifts for a moment as he considers your question. The elevator begins its descent, the soft whirl filling the silence.
âHonestly? No, I never did. My father used to pressure me about it all the time. Wanted me to marry someone who could... 'enhance' our familyâs status.â He was contemplative, and the echoes of old frustrations are clear in his voice.
You raise an eyebrow, surprised by his sudden openness.
The rumors about Satoru had always painted him as a carefree bachelor, uninterested in the constraints of marriage.
Some said he was too focused on his career, while others whispered that he enjoyed his freedom too much to settle down. There were even speculations that he had a hidden lover, or perhaps he was waiting for the perfect match to come along, someone who could stand by his side both in business and in life.
ââŚand you never found anyone who fit the bill?â
He chuckles, a hint of bitterness in his voice.
âPlenty of candidates. None that I wanted to spend my life with. Plus, all those âsuitable matchesâ were just women trying to get their hands on the Gojo fortune. Most people just see the money and power. They don't see the person behind it.â
The vulnerability in his eyes is fleeting, and you realize that his fatherâs expectations must have weighed heavily on him. The pressure to find someone was not about love or companionshipâit was about maintaining an image, a legacy. In a way, you both have been victims to control your entire lives.
As the depth of his frustrations become more apparent, you feel a pang of sympathy. Itâs enough to make you wonder about the real Satoru. The elevator continues its descent, and you find yourself lingering on his words.
âThat sounds... difficult. So why did you go through with this then? With me?â
His gaze softens; his expression thoughtful as he watches the numbers descending the floor levels. He tilts his head slightly, meeting your gaze with an intensity that makes your heart skip a beat.
âBecause youâre different. You didnât come to me looking for wealth or status. You needed help, and I needed a solution. Itâs honest, in a way. No hidden agendas, no false pretenses.â
A nervous flutter dances in your stomach, your fingers fidgeting with the folder of documents in your hands. The softness in his words catch you off guard, and you find it difficult to maintain eye contact.
A small, rueful smile tugs at the corner of his lips.
âIn a world where everyone wants something from me, I find your straightforwardness refreshing.â
Your heart skips as a warm blush creeps up your cheeks.
âI never thought youâd see it that way. I just... I wanted to do what was best for Haru.â
âAnd thatâs what makes you different,â he replies softly. âYouâre doing this for her, not for yourself. Thatâs why I agreed to this. Because I believe youâre sincere.â
The elevator chimes softly as it reaches the ground floor and the doors slide open to reveal the bustling courthouse lobby.
The weight of the conversation settles between you, a rare moment of vulnerability that made you see Satoru in a new lightâa glimpse into his inner world.
The moment you near the courthouse door, you and Satoru push it open in an attempt to exit, but are immediately greeted by a barrage of flashing cameras and shouted questions. Paparazzi swarm around you, seeming to have materialized out of nowhereâhow did they even know where to find you both?
Satoru, ever the master of public appearances, wraps an arm around your waist, pulling you close. His touch is warm and firm, and you can feel the steady beat of his heart through his suit.
The sensation of his hand resting securely on your hip sends a tingle through your body, a fluttering in your stomachâyou realize now that this is the first time he has touched you.
âSmile for the cameras, Mrs. Gojo,â he whispers into your ear, breath tickling your skin.
You blink, heat rising to your face as youâre momentarily caught off guard by the sudden display of affection. But you quickly compose yourself, remembering the role you have to play.
Leaning into him slightly, you offer a shy smile to the cameras. The flashes intensify and the questions grow louder.
âMr. Gojo why are you in a courthouse?â
âMr. Gojo, what is the status of Gojo Corporation?â
âWho is this woman Mr. Gojo?â
âWhat is your statement on your fatherâs passing?â
As the paparazzi continue to snap photos and shout questions, Satoru leans down and presses a quick, gentle kiss to your temple. His lips were soft, and the warmth of his breath burned your skin. The gesture, though small, sends a shiver down your spine.
It was all for show, you reminded yourself. Just part of the act.
Yet, the unexpected intimacy lingered, making it hard to ignore the way your heart raced at his touch.
Satoruâs kiss had worked perfectly, fueling the media frenzy. The paparazzi went wild at the tender actionâcamera flashes intensifying and voices growing louder. They call out more questions, desperate to capture every angle of the seemingly affectionate moment. You feel the eyes of the crowd boring into you.
âLetâs get out of here,â Satoru murmurs, voice low and soothing amidst the chaos.
He reaches out, hand warm and firm as he interlocks his fingers with yours, gently guiding you through the throng of reporters towards the waiting car. His other arm subtly shields you from the crowd.
As you finally break free from the mass of flashing cameras and shouting voices, you slide into the car, feeling a sense of relief wash over you as Satoru slides beside you immediately after.
Glancing back at the courthouse, the reality of your new life begins to sink in. Once the car pulls away, a breath escapes youâone you didnât realize you had been holding in.
âThat was... intense.â
Satoru chuckles, arm resting behind your shoulder. He tilts his head slightly, allowing a few tousles of white hair to fall into his eyes. Through the soft strands, his gaze meets yours, a mix of amusement and seriousness dancing in his striking blue eyes.
âWelcome to my world," he murmurs. "Better get used to it, sweetheart. This is just the beginning.â
ę¨ď¸
The following day, a moving company arrived at your apartment as promisedâthey packed up your belongings with swift efficiency, leaving you feeling like a spectator in your own life.
Watching your life be boxed up and loaded into trucks was bittersweetâas your small apartment, with its familiar creaks and cracks, had been your safe haven.
Everything was arranged, down to the smallest detail. By mid-afternoon, you found yourself standing in the grand foyer of Satoruâs mansion once again, this time with all your worldly possessions.
Haru, wide-eyed and excited, clung to your side, her tiny fingers wrapped around your hand.
"Welcome to your new home," Satoru says with a grin.
It felt more like stepping into a palace than a home.
He reaches down and grabs one of your suitcases, lifting it effortlessly,
"Let me show you to our room."
You feel your face heat up instantly.
"Our room?" you stammer. "Why would we need to share a room when no one is here to watch this charade?"
Satoru's grin widens, clearly enjoying your discomfort.
"Relax, I'm just teasing you. You have your own room. I just wanted to see your reaction."
You shoot him a glare, feeling a mix of relief and annoyance.
âYou're impossible," you mutter, trying to hide the blush creeping up your cheeks.
He chuckles, leading you up the grand staircase, and Haru follows closely, her eyes darting around in awe at the luxurious decor. The polished marble steps feel cool underneath you, and the ornate banisters gleam under the soft lighting.
"Come on, let me show you around." Satoru says as he leads the way down a long corridor.
The walls were adorned with intricate tapestries and framed artwork, each piece more exquisite than the last.
Eventually, Satoru stops in front of a set of double doors, turning to you with a small, satisfied smile.
"Here we are."
He pushes them open to reveal a spacious bedroom. The room beautifully furnished, with a large bed, elegant drapes, and a balcony overlooking the manicured gardens below.
"This is your room," he announces, setting your suitcase down gently.
"Wow," you breathe.
It feels a bit overwhelming the moment you step foot inside. Haru, on the other hand, darts past you, exploring every nook and cranny with a delighted giggle. It was easily twice the size of your old apartment.
"This is beautiful... and a lot."
Satoru leans against the doorframe, arms casually crossing over his chest.
The soft light from the chandelier above casts a gentle glow on his features, highlighting the sharp lines of his jaw and the curve of his lips. His white hair, tousled just enough to seem effortlessly stylish, frames his face perfectly.
"Only the best for my... business partner," he says, tone light yet carrying a hint of something deeper.
You offer a simple, "Thanks," but your voice is softer than you intended. Your eyes betray you, lingering on him for a moment longer than necessary.
Satoru's eyes hold yours with a softness that catches you off guardâa striking shade of blue that seems almost ethereal. In that moment, you couldn't help but notice the intensity and warmth in his gaze, itâs almost tender, making you feel like anything but just a âbusiness partnerâ.
Was he always this beautiful?
You canât help but wonder, feeling a warmth spread through you as the silence stretches on. The moment feels strangely intimate, a connection forming that neither of you expected.
Crap. What are you thinking?
Haruâs giggle breaks the spell as she jumps on your bed.
"Oh, and just so you know," he adds with a playful glint in his eye, "my room is right next door. We share the bathroom, so try not to hog all the hot water."
You blink, surprised. "We have to share a bathroom?"
Curiosity getting the better of you, you open the bathroom door and peer inside.
It was equally impressive, with a large tub and walk-in shower, all in pristine condition. The fixtures gleam, and the marble countertop adds a touch of luxury. There was another door leading directly to Satoruâs room, a constant reminder of his proximity.
"Yep. Just think of it as our first test of marital bliss. Can we survive sharing a bathroom?" Satoru's voice was suddenly closer.
You turn to find him standing right behind you, having moved from his previous spot at the doorframe. The idea of sharing such a personal space with him was a bit unnerving. An awkwardly intimate setup for such a detached relationship, but you didn't have much of a choice.
"âŚI suppose I'll manage.â
Satoru laughs softly.
"That's the spirit. And don't worry, Haru's room is right across from us. She's got the best room in the house actually," he adds, tilting his head to the side as a cue for you to follow him.
Haru trails excitedly behind as you walk through the luxurious hallway, her giggles echo off the walls. Opening the door, you peek inside and are struck by the sheer extravagance of it.
The room was a childâs dreamâdecorated in soft pastel colors, with a canopy bed draped in delicate lace, plush toys neatly arranged on shelves, and even a small play area complete with a dollhouse and a set of building blocks. The walls were adorned with whimsical murals of fairies and woodland creatures, creating a magical atmosphere that seemed straight out of a storybook.
Haru's delighted squeals bring a smile to your face, easing the last of your worries.
It was clear that Satoru had spared no expense in making her feel welcome. Each detail spoke of thoughtfulness and care, from the cozy reading nook to the vibrant rainbow-colored rug that added a playful touch to the room. How on earth did he pull all this off so quickly?
âWow, look, Mama!â she exclaims, her eyes lighting up with joy, running inside to inspect her new haven.
A sense of relief washes over you as a tender smile forms upon your lips. At least Haru would be happy here. The sight of her so animated and cheerful makes the transition a bit easier to bear. Satoru stands beside you.
âI wanted her to feel at home," he says softly, eyes reflecting a rare sincerity.
âYou've done more than that. She's ecstatic," you reply, watching Haru dive into a pile of stuffed animals with a gleeful laugh.
Satoru clears his throat and rubs the back of his neck, the gesture uncharacteristically awkward. He glances at the clock on the wall, as if searching for an excuse to end the moment.
"Well, I'll leave you to it," his tone is gentle and almost hesitant. "Let me know if you need anything. Dinner will be ready soon, see you down there?â
His usual confidence is somewhat mutedâyou wonder, is it you? Haru?
"Yeah,â you nod, âIâm going to put a few of my things away and then weâll meet you downstairs."
âRight. Take your time. There's no rush."
You canât help but replay the interaction in your mind as you unpack the essentials from your suitcase. The awkwardness between you and Satoru would pass, you hope. For now, it was enough to know that Haru is happy and safe.
Haruâs laughter echoes from her room, a sound that brings a smile to your face. She seemed to be adjusting much faster than expected, her innocent joy undiminished by the upheaval.
And to you, her laughter solidified itâmarrying Satoru, this was the right call.
ę¨ď¸
The past few days living with Satoru had been a whirlwind of adjustmentsâit wasnât without its challenges. The mansion, with its sprawling rooms and luxurious decor, is more like a museum than a home.
The sheer size makes you feel small and out of place at times, and the constant presence of staff make it difficult to find a moment of privacy.
Satoru, however, had been surprisingly considerate. Heâs a constant reminder of the delicate balance you need to maintainâattentive yet reserved, playful yet serious, a paradox that kept you on edge.
Your interactions with Satoru had settled into a routine of polite, if somewhat distant, cohabitation. There were moments of unexpected tenderness, like when he had found you struggling to open a jar in the kitchen and had stepped in to help with a playful grin.
Another time, you had been overwhelmed while trying to assemble a new toy for Haru, and Satoru had quietly taken a seat beside you, helping to figure out the instructions without a word.
Yet despite these moments, there was always an underlying tension, a reminder of the unusual circumstances that had brought you together.
As the days passed, the impending charity gala loomed larger in your mindâthe first public event you would attend together as a married couple.
Satoru had taken the time to sit down with you and discuss how you would present yourselves, a task that seemed daunting but necessary.
You agreed on the basics: stay close, exchange subtle touches, and share occasional whispers to create an air of intimacy. The plan was straightforward, but the execution would be another matter entirely.
He emphasized the importance of appearing united, offering tips on how to handle the media and the probing questions that were sure to come. His confidence and ease in handling the media was something you were learning to lean on, though the pressure of maintaining the charade weighed heavily on you.
âWhat about Haru?â you asked, concern evident in your voice.
âWeâll leave her out of the spotlight,â Satoru replied gently. âI donât want to overwhelm her. She takes no part in this agreement beyond being your daughter. Sheâll stay here with the nanny during the event.â
Amidst all this, your phone had been buzzing constantly with missed calls from Naoya. You hadn't answered any of themâmaybe you should just call off the court case?
You did just go through a life changing event, marriage, and that often interferes with the legal process anyways. The judge would need to take into consideration your new source of income for the child support payments.
Honestly, you donât need Naoyaâs support anymore.
Youâll take care of that after the gala thoughâright now you already have too much on your plate, spending hours with Satoru, fabricating shared experiences and finding common ground to make your relationship believable.
The task of memorizing details about his likes and dislikes, his habits, and his quirks was daunting, but you found yourself surprised at the small details you were beginning to remember about himâthe way he took his coffee, his favorite late-night snack, the way his eyes crinkled just slightly when he found something genuinely funny, or how he would absentmindedly run a hand through his tousled white hair when deep in thought.
As the days slipped by in a blur of preparations and rehearsed smiles, you couldnât shake the feeling that this carefully constructed façade was starting to take on a life of its own. Each shared glance and each moment of unexpected kindness blurred the lines between reality and pretense, leaving you wondering just how deep this charade would go.
ę¨ď¸
Standing in front of your bathroom mirror, you adjust the luxurious dress Satoru had picked out for you. A deep, elegant blue fabric clings to your curves in all the right places, and the V-shaped open back that rests above your hips adds a touch of allure.
Loose cascading waves frame your face perfectly, and the professional makeup artist gave you a look that is both subtle and glamorous, enhancing your features in a way the felt natural yet striking.
You barely recognize yourself.
The transformation was astonishing, turning you from a frazzled single mother into a vision of sophistication and grace.
Was it too much? You feel out of sorts, like youâre wearing someone else's skin. The elegant image in the mirror is both thrilling and unnerving.
As you try to steady your racing heart, a knock on the bathroom door makes you jump slightlyâSatoruâs door.
âY/n you ready?â his voice calls out.
With a deep breath, you take one last look in the mirror. As you open the door, Satoruâs frame leans casually against the entryway.
The sleek black tuxedo he is adorned in highlights his broad shoulder and lean frame. His white hair is perfectly styled, contrasting sharply with the dark fabric.
He meets you with a stunned silenceâeyes widening slightly as he takes you in. The cool blue of his irises seem more vibrant, gleaming with anticipation as they trace over your form.
You had never seen his eyes linger across your figure like this beforeâthe intensity of his gaze makes your stomach flutter. Feeling a bit self-conscious, you fear what will come out of his mouth.
Does he think itâs too much?
âWow,â he breathes, voice almost reverent. âYou look... stunning.â
A blush creeps up your cheeks at his unexpected compliment, and you find yourself unable to meet his gaze.
"Thank you," you say softly, smoothing down the fabric of your dress.
Satoru steps closer, eyes locked on you. He reaches out and gently lifts your chin, his touch sending a shiver down your spine.
âSeriously, you look amazing. I knew the dress would look good on you, but this... youâre going to be the star of the gala,â a slow smile spreads across his lips. âReady to knock them dead?â
You nod, trying to ignore the fluttering sensation in your stomach.
âAs ready as Iâll ever beâŚhopefully I can live up to the part.â
âYou will,â offering you his arm, he adds, âJust be yourself, and stay by my side, weâre in this together."
ę¨ď¸
The ride to the gala is filled with a comfortable silence.
The city lights blur outside the window as the car smoothly navigates through the streets. You find yourself stealing glances at Satoru, admiring the way his profile looks in the dim light.
Strange.
The usually insufferable man seemed different tonightâsteadfast, dependable, almost... comforting? Perhaps itâs the nerves.
His arm rests casually behind you, fingers occasionally brushing your shoulder, and youâre surprised yourself how it does not bother youâin fact, itâs actually quite soothing.
Once you arrive, the grand ballroom is a stunning sight. Chandeliers hang from the high ceiling, casting a soft, golden glow over the elegantly dressed crowd.
The room is filled with the cityâs eliteâa sea of luxurious gowns and tailored suits mingling and exchanging pleasantries. The sight of you and Satoru together was enough to turn heads, drawing curious and admiring glances.
But the sheer number of people, the pressure of playing your part, and the countless eyes watching your every moveâitâs all a bit overwhelming. You really felt out of place here.
Sensing your unease, Satoru leans in close, breath warm against your ear.
âRemember, just follow my lead.â
Guiding you with ease, his hand rests lightly on the small of your back as you voyage through the attendeesâthe warm gentle touch is electric against your bare skin.
Your eyes skim through the herd of people and land on a waiter balancing a tray of champagne glasses. Perhaps a drink would ease your nerves? You donât hesitate to grab a glass as you navigate the crowd.
Satoru, ever the socialite, seamlessly traverses the room, introducing you to important figures and engaging in small talk that you struggle to follow.
Discussions ranged from market trends and corporate mergers, to the latest charity galas and art exhibitions. Trying to keep up, you nod and smile at the appropriate moments.
Itâs clear that Satoru is in his elementâhis charm, effortless. You find yourself admiring how easy he makes it all look.
As you cling to him, the pride in his eyes when he looks at you makes you feel like you belong, even if you are just playing a part in this elaborate charade.
The evening flowed smoothly enough, with your glass of champagne acting as a steady companion. The warmth of the alcohol helps you mingle with guests, exchange polite conversations, and stay close to Satoru, all as planned. But each interaction was a delicate danceâyour smiles and nods masking the nerves simmering beneath the surface.
Honestly, your mind was elsewhereâthere is an undercurrent of anxiety as you anticipate Satoruâs announcement on stage, where he would publicly acknowledge your marriage during his donation speech.
When the moment you had been dreading finally arrives, you settle into a chair near the front, heart pounding in your chest.
Satoru takes the stage with a natural grace, and as the spotlight illuminates his striking figure, his presence commands the attention of everyone in the room.
âGood evening, ladies and gentlemen,â he begins, his voice resonating with a confident authority. âI want to thank you all for being here tonight. Your generosity and support make events like this possible.â
His words flow smoothly as he speaks eloquently about the cause and significance of the charity, each sentence perfectly crafted to engage and inspireâyou marveled at his ability to enthrall people.
Pressing your champagne glass to your lips, you desperately hope the cool liquid can help to steady your nerves a bit more.
Then, the moment came.
âI will be donating ten million dollars to this charity,â Satoru announces, his voice carrying a conviction.
The amount causes a ripple of excitement and murmurs to spread through the crowdâyou nearly choked on your champagne in shock.
Ten million?
You couldnât even fathom having that much money, let alone donating it. The magnitude of Satoruâs status is staggering.
A smile tugs at Satoruâs lipsâa genuine warmth mingling with the mischievous glint in his eyes. He pauses, letting the impact of his words settle, then lifts a finger to tap his chin contemplatively, as if he just remembered something.
âOr should I say, we will be donatingâme and my lovely wife.â
Satoru gestures in your direction as a spotlight beams upon you. The crowd erupts into an enthusiastic applause, causing your heart to race the moment all eyes instantly turn to you.
There is a rush of heat that rises to your cheeks, mixing with the warmth of the alcohol. The weight of the crowdâs gaze makes your vision a bit blurry.
Beckoning you to join him on stage, Satoru extends his hand and offers a comforting smile. Though, the moment you stand, the room spins slightlyâperhaps itâs from the champagne, or perhaps itâs the sheer pressure.
You canât fuck this up.
With as much grace as you can muster, you make your way to the platform.
Satoru wraps an arm around your waist the moment you are at his side, pulling you close and steadying your trembling figure. He looks down into your eyes with a genuine look of endearment.
âEveryone, please welcome my beautiful wife, y/n,â he says softly in the microphone, his voice filled with a gentle pride.
The applause swells, and you manage a smile, trying to focus on Satoru while ignoring the spotlightâs heat and the intense gazes of attendees.
Leaning in, his lips brush against your ear as he whispers, âYouâre doing great.â
Despite the orchestrated nature of your relationship, in this moment, his genuine reassurance means everything. His presence is a steady anchor in the sea of faces and flashing cameras, the only thing holding you together right now.
When the applause dies down, Satoru continues his speech, the warmth of his hand remaining on your waist as his thumb traces soft circles.
You can barely focus on his words, the dizzying reality of where youâre standing feels both exhilarating and terrifying.
The moment Satoruâs speech concludes, the soft hum of conversation mingling and the delicate notes of the live orchestra begin to fill the air yet again. Satoru leads you off the stage, his hand never leaving your side.
Almost immediately after you descend to the floor, Satoru is approached by a business associate, his demeanor shifting effortlessly into that of a seasoned negotiator as they exchange discussions of market trends, potential collaborations, and strategic ventures.
Your heart is still poundingâpublic speaking was never your strong suit. Despite not needing to speak, being on that stage stirred something within you.
You recall a particularly disastrous presentation in college where you accidentally knocked over the projector, sending your notes flying across the room. The laughter from the audience still haunts you, and since then, youâve always dreaded being the center of attention.
With Satoru engrossed in conversation, you seize the opportunity to make your way to the barâseeking a moment of reprieve. Another drink wouldnât hurt, right?
The gleaming rows of crystal glasses and various bottles of wine and spirits catch your eye. You scan the selection, your gaze lingering on a particularly rich, deep red wine.
Deciding itâs exactly what you need to steady your nerves, you signal the bartender and opt for a glass of the robust vintage, savoring the thought of its smooth, calming flavor.
One glass turned into twoâyour nerves finally beginning to settle as the soothing effects of the alcohol take over your senses.
Realizing youâve been away from Satoru for quite some time, you prepare to rejoin himâbut just as you start to rise, a familiar, unwelcome voice interrupts your thoughts.
âWell, well, look who we have here,â Naoya sneers, leaning against the bar beside you, a glass of scotch swirling in his hand. âDidnât expect to see you here, mingling with the high society.â
A chill runs down your spine and you heart drops. No amount of alcohol could have prepared you for this moment.
âNaoya,â you stiffen, clutching your wine glass tighter. âWhat are you doing here?â
He takes a swig of his scotch, emptying the glass and placing it down on the counter with a loud clink. Leaning closer into your space, his eyes narrowâa cold, cynical stare boring into you.
âI could ask you the same thing. This doesnât seem like your usual scene. Whatâs your angle?â
Your breath quickens and you feel your pulse hammering in your chest. Adverting your gaze, your fingers brush against the rim of your wine glass.
âIâm sure you heard, Iâm here with my husband, if you must know. Not that itâs any of your business.â
The sneer he meets you with makes the room suddenly feel smaller, as if his presence is suffocating you.
âHusband, huh?â his eyes rake over you with contempt suspicion, âQuite the leap from where you were a few weeks ago. Is this some kind of game to you?â
Summoning your courage, you straighten your back and meet his gaze head-on.
âNot a game, Naoya. Itâs called moving on. You should try it sometime. My life is no longer any of your concern.â
Taking a step closer, he looms over youâhis voice lowering to a menacing whisper.
âI donât buy it. This whole charade⌠you think I donât know what youâre trying to pull?â
For a moment, you are frozen in place, the fear and control Naoya exerts paralyzing you. Your mind races, the implications of his words sinking in.
What if he exposes you?
What if this carefully constructed facade comes crashing down?
Before you can respond, you feel an arm slip around your waist, pulling you with practiced ease out of Naoyaâs bubble and right beside Satoru.
âThere you are, darling. Everything alright?â
His voice is smooth and warm, and his gaze flicks between you and Naoya, narrowing as he surveys the situation. The look on your face unsettles himâsomething feels off.
Naoya straightens himself, leaning against the bar with a supercilious smirk as he crosses his arms.
âJust catching up with an old friend. No harm in that, right?â
âI donât think weâve been properly introduced.â Satoruâs tone was light but laced with an underlying steel, âIâm y/nâs husband, Satoru Gojo.â
A scoff escapes Naoya as his eyes flash with irritation, but an unnerving smile remains upon his lips.
âYes, Iâve heard. You certainly move fast, donât you, y/n?â
Naoya can see right through youâyou fell a flash of panic. Turning to Satoru, your eyes meet his with a silent plea for support. His expression softens and he gives you a reassuring nod while tightening his grip upon your waist.
âWell, when you know, you know,â Satoru says with a charming smile, âand we knew.â
Naoya snickers, running his hand through his hair in disbelief.
âCome on y/n. How did someone like you end up with someone like him? Seems... unlikely. You donât belong here.â
Heat rises to your face and the sudden urge to shrink away overwhelms youâyour heart dropping at the sting of Naoyaâs words.
Suddenly, Satoru steps closer, creating a protective barrier between you and Naoyaâthe playful glint in his eyes gone, replaced with a cold, steely determination.
âWatch your mouth, you donât get to talk to my wife like that.â
âIâm just stating the obvious,â Naoya shrugs, meeting Satoruâs glare with an indifference as he shoves his hands in his pockets. âSheâs out of her league here.â
Satoruâs jaw tightens, his voice low and dangerously calm.
âIf you think sheâs out of her league, then you clearly donât know her at all. Youâre out of line. Y/n belongs here more than anyone. So, unless you have something worthwhile to say, I suggest you move along.â
âIs that so?â Naoya raises an eyebrow. âYouâll have to forgive me if Iâm a bit skeptical. After all, youâve always been a bit of a lone wolf, Satoru Gojo.â
Panic seizes you as Naoyaâs observation hangs in the air. The last thing you need is for him to start spreading rumors or causing trouble. You realize you have to do something, and fast. Your mind races, desperately searching for a way to convince Naoya of your authenticity.
Summoning all the courage you can muster, you step forward, threading your arms around Satoruâs neck as you rest your forehead against his own. Your words are addressed to Naoya, but your eyes remain on Satoru the entire time, drawing strength from his steady gaze and the warmth of his touch.
âSatoru and I... we chose each other for reasons that go beyond what you see. We may have our differences, but weâre stronger together, and we have a connection that you canât comprehend.â
Satoruâs eyes soften, reflecting a silent understanding and a shared resolveâhis breath mingling with yours.
Feeling Naoyaâs probing gaze, you know he wonât be easily convinced, and so, acting on impulse, you pull Satoru closer and crash your lips against his.
For a moment, Satoru seemed caught off guard. His eyes widened in surprise before they fluttered closed, his hands moving to rest on your hips. The world around you seemed to fade away as the kiss lingered, heat pooling in your stomach.
It was supposed to be a quick peck, just enough to sell the act. But the moment your lips met his, something shifted.
Perhaps you were emboldened by the alcohol, perhaps it was the need to be convincing, perhaps it was the way Satoru stood up for youâwithout thinking, you deepen the kiss, parting your lips and slipping your tongue into his mouth, making things more intimate than you originally intended.
You can feel Satoru tense for a moment, his surprise evident. But then, with a soft hum against your mouth he melts into the kiss, a hand moving to cup your face as he returns the intimacy with unexpected fervorâhis other hand encircling around your waist, pulling you closer against him.
Your fingers thread through Satoruâs hair and the world around you seems to fade awayâthe only thing that mattered now was the heat radiating off of Satoruâs body, the warmth of his lips against yours, and the lingering sweet taste of the galaâs chocolate cake mingling with the wine on your tongue.
It was a moment that felt both incredibly real and utterly surreal.
When you finally pull back, you are both breathless. As you catch a flicker of something unreadable in Satoruâs half lidded eyes, for a brief moment, you forget about Naoya completely, about the act, about everything except the electric connection between you both.
Satoru's thumb gently caresses your cheek, his gaze softening.
Pulling yourself back to reality, you peer over to Naoyaâhis smug expression had vanished, replaced by a look of genuine surprise and irritation.
âAs you can see, weâre very happy together,â you say sweetly, rubbing your nose against Satoruâs.
"Didn't think you were the type to move on so quickly," Naoya sneers.
A wave of exhilaration and embarrassment course through you as Naoya retreats back into the crowd. The kiss had done its job, but it had also left you with a lingering sense of uncertainty. Satoruâs touch is still warm on your skinâyou can still taste him on your lips.
"You okay?" he asks softly, his concern genuine.
The question pulls you out of your thoughts, but his gaze does the oppositeâyour face flushes and it feels like your heart is going to pound out of your chest.
"Yeah. I... I just needed to convince him.."
Satoru studies you momentarilyâknowing there is more to the story with Naoya. But he also knows now isnât the time to pry.
He chuckles softly, his hand lingering on your waist.
âWell, I think you succeeded. That was... unexpected. You really went for it there,â he murmurs.
For a moment, it felt like you were playing a role, but the feelings stirring inside you were anything but fake.
"I'm sorry," you swallow hard, face flushing with embarrassment. "I didn't mean to..."
âI didnât mind,â he interjects, thumb brushing against your lower lip, sending a shiver down your spine. âJust so you know, you did great. Better than I expected,â his voice low and husky.
Fuck.
You blinkâNaoya is gone, but here Satoru is, still holding you so intimately, so intently.
The way he looks at you, the warmth in his touch, the tone of his voiceâit makes you question the lines between reality and pretense.
âDidnât know you had it in you.â Satoru hums, his fingers brushing a strand of hair from your face. He leans in, his breath dancing on your lips, tantalizingly close. âBut next time, letâs save the tongue for when weâre really alone, hm?â
What is he saying?
Your mind races, trying to decipher his words, his intentions. Was he still in character, or was there a hint of genuine desire in his eyes?
The electricity in the air was undeniable, and you find yourself lost in the intensity of his gazeâthe crowd around you fading, their murmurs and whispers becoming a distant hum.
Satoruâs eyes held secrets you were desperate to uncover.
As you struggle to formulate your thoughts, Satoruâs hand gently cups your cheek, his thumb tracing a soft line along you jaw.
"Relax," he murmurs, "We're just putting on a show, remember?"
You nod, though your heart betrays you with its rapid pace.
âRight,â you whisper, forcing a smile. âJust a show.â
But deep down, you canât shake the feeling that there was more to this act than either of you were willing to admit.
ahh i really enjoyed writing this chapter. okay, i was snickering at satoru's internal turmoil when he met haru for the first time. i couldn't resist with the digimon đ¤ my daughter is currently obsessed with pikachu so that's where that inspiration came from lol. also, this kiss was one of my favs to write 𼰠lemme know if you guys are interested in me making this a longer series. as always, thanks for reading đŤśđť â on to the next chapter ę¨
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I Want You to Stay (11) | JJK
Pairing:Â Jungkook x (f.) Reader
Genre/Tags: boss!JK x assistant!reader; idiot strangers to lovers; slow slow burn; k-drama feels; angst, drama, fluff, smut
Chapter (Series) Warnings: foul/explicit language; alcohol consumption & passing out, unhealthy coping mechanisms; family drama; minor injuries; power dynamics (JK starts off as a jerk); work-related anxiety, feelings of helplessness, insecurities; mentions of childhood traumatic experiences, nightmares; sexual harassment, attempted assault; mention of past experience of domestic violence (PLS PLS BE CAREFUL WHEN READING); arts, business/property devt, and book talk thatâs probably inaccurate; commitment issues & emotionally constipated characters; cold and detached JK; sexual content (making out - I know, finally) (18+)
Chapter Word count:Â 23.5k
Series Masterlist
Status:Â Ongoing
Series summary: Working for Jungkook isnât the same as working for Hoseok. For starters, Jungkook doesnât smile, he doesnât appreciate you, and he gives you too much work. It doesnât help that heâs incredibly handsome and has women at his beck and call. But as the tension grows, it becomes impossible to resist him. Youâve dedicated yourself to your job for 8 years so when you finally decide to put yourself first, he asks you to reconsider. And while you know that leaving is difficult, you learn that when it comes to Jungkook, staying is always so much harder.
Playlist đś: on the way home
A/N: Hiii so this was quite the wait! We have come to the climax of the story and I'm both excited and terrified to share this with you. I have nothing more to say other than see you on the other side! đ¤đ¤
And as always, my biggest thanks to @wonwoonlight đĽ°
PS. If I canât tag you, pls fix your settings!
Whenever Jungkook creates some distance between you and him, you often understand it. Itâs his default, you think, and after learning about the pain he harbors from his childhood, youâve come to accept it. You expect it, even.Â
Recently though, he hasnât been doing much of it. He often moves closer; sometimes, he lets you do it. Tonight, itâs both - he stands near you, he holds you, and he lets you slowly close the distance until youâre just a breath away. And for a brief moment, you think that heâd eliminate it altogether.Â
But youâre not in some fantasy world, so when he pulls away, youâre reminded of who you are and who he is and that sliver of hope goes up in flames.Â
âIââ he mumbles.Â
âI should go,â you interject, turning away so as not to see any more of the rejection in his eyes. âHave a good evening, Mr. Jeon.â
You grab your bag then rush outside, exhaling the breath you were holding in and letting the shame fill you up as fast as the elevator reaches the first floor. You want to run to rid yourself of the embarrassment, maybe be irresponsible for once and get drunk just to forget. Maybe when you wake up in the morning, youâll find out it was all a dream - you didnât actually want to kiss your boss, you didnât actually think heâd kiss you back, and he didnât actually pull away, as if it stung him to touch you, as if it hurt him to try.Â
But the thought doesnât last long.
You get on a bus and convince yourself that staying sober tonight is a better option than reporting hungover to work tomorrow. Youâll feel embarrassed either way, but might as well be more professional about it, considering that what youâd almost done - and all the things you thought about - was nothing but that. You settle for just cup noodles for dinner; you donât deserve anything nicer than that tonight.Â
Sleep doesnât come until past one later in the evening. You spend much of your time tossing and turning, trying hard to erase the image of Jungkook so close to you.Â
But nothing works. All you see are his lips. All you can hear is his breathing. All you can smell is him.Â
You wake up four hours later, exhausted and incredibly anxious for the day. You want it to be over already, and you half think of calling in sick but you know thatâll be too obvious. It could set off alarm bells to Jungkook and he might call and ask how you are, and thatâs something you canât deal with either. So you power through and nap in the car, not wanting to converse with Mr. Ri because you might tell him everything should he ask the right questions.
Your plan of action is to engage with Jungkook as little as you can, in any way thatâs possible. You play around with things in his kitchen and make sure you have your back turned when he exits from his gym. The energy drink and glass of water are on the counter and you sense him lingering before he finally walks to his bedroom. You let some time pass before going to his closet to prepare his accessories for the day, then head back out, cooking his omelet as slowly as you can.
The clearing of his throat lets you know heâs done, and you glance at him before placing the dishes on the table.Â
This isnât the routine. You always fix his necktie once he shows up. Itâs reflex for you, and you know thatâs what heâs come to expect as well.Â
But you canât bring yourself to do that right now. Itâs basically like re-enacting what happened last night and you canât promise yourself that you wonât want to kiss him again when heâs that close. You canât look him in the eyes, you canât take in his scent, you canât hear his breathing without remembering how he felt like. You know you canât have it again, so you wonât even torture yourself even more than you already are.
His tie is slightly off and it disturbs you. He doesnât move but he doesnât ask you to fix it.Â
You sigh to yourself. Heâll live.Â
You eat quickly and itâs a contrast to him picking on his food. Youâre tempted to ask if the dish isnât to his liking, but you told yourself not to start conversations or engage in anything outside of work matters, and youâll stick to that for as long as possible.Â
â___.â
âMr. Jeon, Iâve prepared your notes for todayâs meetings,â you state before he could say anything more. âAnd Iâm meeting with the marketing team about the additional promotional materials you wanted. Is there anything else you wish to add to the ones we talked about?â
âNone for now. They can go ahead with my initial request,â he responds, his voice too soft than what youâre used to, but you donât dare look up and meet his eyes.
You ask a few more questions and he responds accordingly. The silence is deafening and though you miss the playful banter that has become part of your mornings, you know you canât get into that right now. Somehow, this is when you canât act like everythingâs normal. Your stupid mistake and foolish assumption is where you draw the line. You just hope the day ends quickly enough before you give in.Â
Both of you head down to the car. Before going inside, you hear Jungkook ask Mr. Ri how he looks and if his tie is fixed, and you internally smack your head for being so petty about this. You didnât think that something seemingly trivial about your daily routine with him would affect you this much, as if it somehow threw things off-balance just because you were so afraid to be close. You realize now that you would look forward to those few seconds because that was the only time you had a reason to touch him.Â
But heâs everything you canât desire and given that you almost crossed a line, you know youâre gonna have to slowly pull back. Not just with regards to your feelings but in everything, as you take a peek of your personal phone and see an email notification about an upcoming book launch from Rkive Publishing. You subscribed to their mailing list right after you met their director, and youâve been sitting on his email address and the application letter you have yet to submit.Â
Since that encounter, youâve been occasionally looking at other job opportunities in different fields. You realize that nothing much excites you. Thereâs not much you think is worth slaving your way for in this corporate jungle, and that while youâre currently part of that machine, the only thing that got you going these past eight years was the debt you had to pay.Â
You had your reasons to stay but being at this point when youâre ready to let that go, youâre realizing that there wasnât much else about the job that got you truly excited. Sure, it was also the people, but theyâre why you couldnât leave. It wasnât until the planning for the Arts Center that you felt you could truly be invested in a project and have impact on it, too; it just so happens that the man behind it is the reason why you have to step away. You know itâs the only way you could finally choose yourself and pursue what you want. At 31, you owe it to yourself to do that.Â
Your thoughts are disrupted when the familiar building comes into view, and you exit the car and head to your floor, trailing Jungkook this time instead of walking by his side as what youâve come to do. You can tell that he notices the distance but you donât want to address it. Being terrible at any form of confrontation, you donât really want to acknowledge anything that happened. Youâll deal with him if he brings it up, and for all the times that you screwed up, you wish to the heavens that Jungkook lets this one go.Â
You head to your desk while he heads to his. You make him his coffee then ask him to sign some documents. You focus on his hands as he flips through the pages, preferring to look at those instead of his face. But itâs those fingers that pressed against you last night, and you shake your head at the memory, even if all you want is to feel them again.
You retrieve the papers, your heart stopping when he doesnât let them go right away. Your eyes widen and you still donât look at him, even as you anticipate him to say something.
â___.â
âMr. Min asked to meet with you after lunch,â you cut him off again before he could say more.
âI know. That email was sent to you and me.â
âYes, sir. I was just making sure.â
He lets go of the papers now and you bow before quickly heading out. You just know he had his eyebrows scrunched at you. Heâs probably trying to make sense of how jittery you seem and though he may know why, youâre not sure if he knows why.
You get through the morning in one piece. You attend your meeting while Jungkook attends his own with his father. You grab a quick lunch with Do-hyun, whose narration of her love life takes up the whole half hour, then you return to your tasks once you finish.
Hyper-focused on the file youâre reviewing, Yoongiâs usually unenthusiastic greeting catches you off guard, causing your lips to miss the hot tea that youâre about to drink. You jerk, spilling all of it on you. You subsequently hit the saucer thatâs on the edge of the table; it falls on the floor and breaks.
âFuck!â You whisper yell, as you feel the drink pool on your skirt.
âShit, is it burning?â Yoongi asks worriedly.Â
He immediately rushes to your side and grabs some paper towels from the cabinet, placing them on your lap and on the floor.
âDonât move so you donât spread the broken pieces,â he instructs. âAre you hurt?â
âNo. Iâm just uncomfortable,â you groan, with your knees awkwardly touching each other and your thighs squeezed to keep the liquid from spreading.Â
Youâre at least in a black skirt but you know the stain will still be visible. Thatâs the least of your problems though, as Jungkook arrives from his meeting and heads to you with a folder, only to find Yoongi kneeling on the floor next to you. Jungkookâs eyes widen, seemingly scandalized at what this looks like, and they flit from you to his friend, whose calm face quickly turns into one of panic.Â
âShe spilled her tea and the saucer broke,â Yoongi explains, raising the soiled paper towels as evidence. He tells you to move back so he can place them over the shards while Jungkook looks on intently. âAre you good? Do you have spare clothes?â Yoongi asks you.
âUh, ye-yeah,â you manage to say, hating how frozen you seem to be. With the tea having been absorbed, you grab your bag from your cabinet, the one youâve started to keep and bring with you during trips in case you get stranded again, then throw the towels in the trash bin. âIâll just go get changed.â
You scurry towards the washroom and leave the men alone, knowing that Yoongi will hold the fort for both of you.Â
Back inside, Jungkook eyes Yoongi as he calls for maintenance to clean up the mess.
âShe spilled her tea and the saucer broke,â Yoongi says again. âShe couldnât move and I just cleaned up.â
âI heard you the first time,â Jungkook states.
âJust making sure, so your mind doesnât think of whatever it thinks about,â Yoongi shrugs. âBut is she okay? She seems a bit out of it.â
âI donât know,â Jungkook looks away. âDonât you usually know those things?â
âWell, I assume that since youâve gotten closer, you would know. Unless itâs about you⌠Were you mean to her again?â
Yoongiâs unusual scowl is one that Jungkook is secretly terrified of but he acts unaffected, merely shaking his head in response and to dismiss the assumption. Heâll admit that his friendâs statement is quite bittersweet, though. Yes, you and Jungkook have both gotten closer and there hasnât been an incident in months where you couldâve had a reason to be down because of him.Â
Unless last night counts, which is something heâs still wrapping his head around.Â
He thinks back to that moment right by your desk. You were so close. And he was so close to doing something more than just holding onto your waist. He saw you eye his lips and he did the same but the realization of where you both were - in a semi-open space in the office - reminded him of his limits. Sure, it was after-hours and no one would have any reason to be on the floor at that time, but it still felt too exposed and he didnât want either of you to be put in such a compromising position, even if every part of his body was aching to kiss you.Â
He wouldnât have known you were talking about him if it werenât for the way you held him close and that unfamiliar look of yearning in your eyes. At that moment, he let himself hope that heâs who you wanted, even if heâs also the same man you believed wouldnât cross his boundaries for you.
Even then, you had been so bold, so honest. He wished he was as brave and as capable to express his desires as you were. He never thought youâd feel anything for him - him, the one who made your life miserable for weeks, the one who treated you unfairly because you made him feel - and want - things he couldnât understand and control. Your calm and warm nature made him think he wasnât anyone special. He dismissed whatever part of him that thought otherwise because he couldnât hope for something he couldnât have.
But last night, the way you looked at him also made him feel like all he desired was within reach, like you were within his grasp. Your lips were everything he wanted all over him. Your soft breaths were what he wanted to take in. You were all he wanted to taste and touch and hear, and heâd been so, so close to crossing a line that he said he wouldnât because he was afraid it would push you away and thatâs the last thing he wants to do.
He was overwhelmed but he was just as scared, believing that thereâs no turning back if something had happened. He almost stepped over the line but pulled back just as quickly, and now it seems that thatâs whatâs keeping you at a distance. Because as you return to your desk, you merely bow at him then go through the folder of documents heâd given you.
âYoongi and I will just meet for an hour,â he says. âPlease be ready with the Arts Center opening event budget that Iâll go through with Hoseok later.â
âThatâs noted, sir.â
Jungkook sighs in disappointment as you donât spare him a glance. He just wants to see those eyes again, the ones that yearned for him last night, the ones that asked him - almost challenged him - to get closer. But heâd been the coward who let you go, and now he doesnât know how to turn back from this.
He enters his room then turns around to face Yoongi.
âI feel so much and I donât know what to do.â
âI know,â his friend hums, feeling relieved that Jungkook can now acknowledge something heâd known for a while now. But Yoongi also knows that itâs not that simple, and while he knows of the possibility that you feel the same, reciprocated feelings donât always mean happy endings. âJust donât⌠just donât hurt her,â he adds.
âWhy do I feel like whatever I do, itâs what Iâll end up doing anyway?â
âSheâll know when you mean it and when you donât. And you know what helps?â
âWhat?â
âLetting her know that hurting her isnât what you want to do. Youâve got a lot to say, Jungkook, I know it,â Yoongi remarks. âJust be brave enough to say them.â
Yoongiâs words linger in Jungkookâs mind for the rest of the day, especially during the times that he peeks through the window to get a glimpse of you. You seem determined not to look his way, as you donât even attempt to look at his direction all afternoon. There is a lot heâs got to say, he just doesnât know what they are or how to say them. Itâs always been that way when it comes to you - he feels so much, but he's unable to let you know.
Despite your avoidance all day, he feels your absence even more when you leave at 6PM, on the dot, without sparing him a glance. He could run after you and ask to talk. He wouldnât know how to start that conversation though, but if it would bring you to finally look at him or say his name, then it would be enough.Â
He just wants to know what last night meant for you. And if it means what he hopes it does, then maybe it isnât about turning back but moving forward. He knows it will be complicated, but he wants to figure it out with you. Heâll choose the path where he gets to be around you, close to you. Always.
Jungkook pulls out the bottle of whiskey he keeps in his drawer to momentarily drown out these thoughts. For some, liquor gives them courage. For him, he drinks it because heâs afraid to be brave.
As he replays the way you looked at him last night, he wonders to himself what heâs more scared of - never having you close enough, or losing you completely.Â
The three films you watch in the cinema that Saturday afternoon are a good distraction to all the thoughts in your head. You occasionally do this because watching other peopleâs lives play out in film gives you something to ponder about. Sometimes, you let it inspire you to live differently. Other times, it allows you a peek into a life much more exciting than the one you have. In some instances, it gives you a sense of relief that yours is uneventful, lacking in drama and intrigue.
At this moment, youâre not quite sure what you want out of it other than to forget. What exactly, youâre not sure. Is it the way you felt when Jungkook held you? Is it the way he seemed to want more and then nothing at all? Or is it the hope you had that youâd found someone you were willing to give a bit of yourself to, only for the glass to shatter because thatâs not what you do - you donât desire for things not meant for you; you donât open yourself to heartbreak like that.Â
Jungkook has always made you feel a lot of things. This time is no different. But this time it also means more. You could lose him completely or have something with him that could be beautiful. One would hurt right away and the other could hurt you down the road. You donât know which one youâre willing to suffer through.Â
Suddenly you wish you didnât get to this point at all. You couldâve left when you had the chance. You couldâve let him not mean to you this much.Â
You continue to wallow in the sadness. You eat dinner at a ramen place before going home and settling in bed with your best friends on video call. You tell them about the past two days and narrate your moments with Jungkook during the team building that you left out when you spoke to them about it. Looking at them through the screen, you see a mix of understanding and frustration on their faces.Â
âWhy are you avoiding him, hun?â Soomin asks, her eyes soft and comforting.
âBecause Iâm so embarrassed,â you groan, burying your face on the pillow. âI was so⌠shameless. I donât even know what got into me. He just looked at me and I⌠lost all sense. Who was I to assume that moment would end well? That heâd reciprocate that honesty?â
âAnd you think not talking about it will rid you of that embarrassment?â She wonders.
âNo. But itâs at least better than facing it,â you frown. âIâm not good with words nor feelings. And Iâm sure that neither is he. Iâm just trying to be professional now because I obviously wasnât.â
You leave out your fears about meeting his eyes and hearing what he has to say. Even if he returns whatever you feel, thereâs so much burden tied to that and you donât think youâre ready for it. You donât think youâre ready for any of this.
âIt doesnât seem sustainable though,â Soomin points out. âYouâre together all the time. Youâve created a routine and a dynamic that youâve gotten so used to. It takes more effort to avoid the whole thing, donât you think?â
âI guess but⌠weâre all busy with the Arts Center opening. And I plan on tending my resignation right after,â you explain. âThereâs no time to talk about feelings. Iâll just let it die down. Itâs stupid to have them in the first place.âÂ
The prolonged silence prompts you to turn towards her. âYou donât agree with me, do you?â
âI just donât think itâs stupid to be feeling what youâre feeling,â Soomin replies. âYou spend so much time together. Youâre bound to form some attachment and develop affection for him, regardless of how things started. I mean, through all the late-nights and early mornings and stresses and comfort in between, thereâs something only two of you share and understand. Thatâs not stupid. Thatâs how connections are formed, hun.â
Attachment. Connection. They terrify you but theyâre things that you desire as well. You donât know how deep they are when it comes to Jungkook and you donât know if theyâre something he feels towards you, too.
âMaybe youâre just trying to convince yourself that it isnât that serious,â she adds. âMaybe itâs because you know that it is, and you donât know if itâs worth pursuing, if itâs worth finding out if he returns it and if being with him is something that can happen.â
You look away, knowing the truth in her words. You turn to Jimin, whoâs been unusually quiet all evening.
âWhat do you think Jimin?â You ask him. âI mean, itâs one thing to feel something and another to act on it and risk everything for it, right?â
âThereâs always something you risk once you acknowledge what you feel for another person,â he says after pondering about it. âFor me, acting on it just depends on two things. Is it good for me, and is it good for them? In your case, itâs something to really think about. Youâre you and heâs him. And you know what I mean. Youâve been wanting to walk away from this company for years, ___. You wanna be something outside of it. How does being with your boss help with that?â
Jiminâs words remind you of something else youâve been yearning for - that search for who you are outside of your work, outside of all the years you spent working for this family that have become a core part of who you are. For people like you who have to work extra hard for the things you have, it becomes natural for your job to define you as a means of survival. It doesnât give you power nor influence; it just gives you a means to get to the next day and to give back to the one person who sacrificed everything for you.Â
As the years went by, it became more difficult to pull away. This family trusts you, and your confidence has only ever increased as an employee of this company, but not as a professional. Youâve been wanting to learn who you are without the burdens you carry, without the need to constantly prove yourself to the people who helped make you, and Jungkook ties you to all this. Whether itâs pursuing him or working for him, youâre afraid youâll never be brave enough to do things on your own.
You werenât supposed to be this attached. You werenât supposed to be this invested. You werenât supposed to want to be wanted back.Â
But Jungkook made you care. He made you feel. He made you be brave. And heâs now the one you have to pull away from.
âYouâre right,â you sigh. âMaybe in a way, I needed this to happen. I needed this⌠moment to remind me that I have to leave and I canât let him be another reason for me to stay, not when I feel what I feel, and not when I donât know if he feels the same way.â
âWhat if he does, though?â Soomin asks. âAnd what if he asks you to stay?â
âThinking about it now, I hope he doesnât,â you say. âItâd be much easier for me if he just lets me go. I can finally walk away from all this. And I can get over what I feel.â
âIs that what you really want?â Soomin adds.
You nod in response. âAt least I know Iâll be happy outside of working for the company. Who knows what having him in my life would bring me?â
The book cafe in Mapo district boasts of an elegant yet comfortable design. It has three levels that consist of a library and working spaces, but itâs on the first floor that you find yourself in, tucked in one of the corner tables at the back with your iced coffee and fruit tart.Â
You listen in awe as the author reads excerpts from her newly released book, which she narrates with vigor and emotion. She answers questions about her purpose for writing this specific story, the inspiration for the characters, and interesting things like who sheâd cast if it were to become a movie and what the playlist would sound like. Itâs the first book launch youâve ever been to, and despite not being an avid reader, you have a feeling that it wonât be your last.Â
Thereâs something about the storytelling and the process of creating something that captivates you. Thereâs not much of that in your world. Itâs all numbers and profits. Itâs soulless, if youâre being honest. It doesnât give you time to feel or live in the moment or actually bask in the work that you do. Youâre there to support, to assist, and while that used to be something you were proud of, the past year has made you think that itâs truly time to move on from it. Itâs made you desensitized to things like joy and hope and love, which prompts you to realize that those are what have been missing. Working on the Arts Center gave you a taste of it. Youâve come to the point where you want to know how those truly feel like, and the job has hindered you from fully finding it out.
All your emotions for Jungkook take a backseat the more you think about what your life could be, especially while you watch Namjoon gather what seems to be his team, as he congratulates them for a successful launch. Theyâre all in casual clothes, looking relaxed, relieved, and fulfilled as the event comes to a close and several people approach the author and ask her to sign their books. You can imagine the stress leading up to all this, but thereâs satisfaction in putting together something this intimate and meaningful.Â
âYou made it,â the man with the soft smile says, the child-like innocence of his face, a contrast to his very masculine build. âIâm glad those newsletters and email invites work.â
âI think theyâre the only ones I actually read,â you say, earning you a brighter smile from him. âBut honestly though, it helps that a book cafe is something I wouldnât mind being in on a Sunday morning.â
âExactly!â Namjoon beams. âItâs easy to make it a part of your weekend. Whether it translates to immediate sales isnât the whole point, although thatâs great, donât get me wrong. But as long as thereâs foot traffic and increased interest, then itâs a success. Our launches have been gaining traction on social media. And theâshit, sorry. Iâm rambling again,â he chuckles. âI doubt you came here with the intention of listening to me talk about what we do and stuff.â
âOh, I donât mind at all,â you assure him. âI donât actually go to things like this but I thought it might be a good way to have a feel of what itâs like working for your company without inconveniencing you. I mean, I havenât applied yet but I just wanted to see if this is something Iâd enjoy doing.â
âAnd?â He asks in anticipation.
âIt kind of is,â you admit. âI donât know. Thereâs just something so personal about it.â
âThere really is,â Namjoon nods.
His face turns serious now, something that happens when heâs about to go on a speech about whatever it is he feels strongly about. Heâs expressive and itâs quite captivating, which is refreshing in a colleague, you realize.Â
Sitting across from you in your little nook in the cafe, he talks about the journey of this whole process, how he reached out to the author who turned out was trying to contact him as well. He was hoping to publish one of her manuscripts that was shared to him by a friend, but she offered this one instead, a very personal story that she trusted his company would do justice.Â
âI sat the whole team down and told them what this means for her as an author and as a person, and what that in turn could mean to the readers,â he continues. âThereâs so much responsibility but the return is worth more than you could imagine. Of course, itâs not always easy. We have a relatively small team for the amount of things that we have to do but it works. Communication is smooth, accountability is shared, and we build our trust and respect in each other that way. I think that makes it even more worth it in the end.â
âYouâre really trying to lure me in, arenât you?â You laugh.
âPretty much,â he chuckles. âI just think our meetings are serendipitous. There were two people who were supposed to take on the role but they backed out last minute - on both cases, I see you the next day. The universe probably has plans.â
âIt probably does,â you nod, slowly believing him. âThe only reason why I havenât applied yet is because this is all so new to me and I may not be what youâre looking for.â
âBut it could be that weâre what youâre looking for,â he counters. âEven if the industry is new to you, if itâs a place youâre comfortable in and that you think will help you grow professionally, then you become what we need. Itâs give and take, really. Your approach to the work impacts how you do it. Yes, itâs still a job but it also means a lot more.â
âYouâre very good at this,â you say, feeling more at ease as you speak with him, a stranger who has no idea what youâre going through but is somehow saying the exact things you need to hear. âI just have a timeline Iâm working around. My company has an important thing coming up in several weeks and I donât want to leave before then. Itâs also why Iâve been delaying applying.â
âHey, if we see that weâre a good fit for each other, then we can work around your timeline,â he says. âTo help with that, maybe we can chat more casually to relieve you of the pressure. I have some things to return to the office not far from here and you can tell me a bit about the work that you do. What do you think?â
Itâs a suggestion you take up, so you both start walking a few streets down to a mid-rise building, a structure that sits amidst cozy cafes and small parks.Â
The Rkive Publishing office is spacious. Instead of solo desks, there are large tables so there are more opportunities for collaborations, but there are small meeting rooms and private spaces as well. There are floor-to-ceiling windows, shelves that are lined with hundreds of books, and quirky art pieces that give the place a unique yet personal touch. Itâs leagues different from what youâre used to, and as you appreciate the way the sunlight makes the whole place glow, you start to think that Namjoon may be right - this might just be what youâre looking for.Â
You disclose who you work for then tell him your functions, narrate how a usual day looks like, and mention the types of people you usually engage with. But you share how youâve felt lost in the chaos of everything and that youâve been trying to find purpose in it but have been unable to.Â
Namjoon purses his lips, attempting to hide a smile, but you call him out on it.
âIâm just trying not to get too excited,â he reasons, giving in and chuckling now. âWe need organization, a sense of urgency, a kind of professionalism that someone of your caliber could bring. I donât want to get my hopes up and yes, thereâs a process, but I hope you give us a chance.â
Itâs easy to think that this man has no idea what heâs saying, but heâs been talking about going with his gut feeling all morning - heâs said as much that following his heart and doing what feels right for him allowed him to turn the company into what it is right now. Maybe meeting the first time was just a coincidence, but the pull of the universe - of you to this environment and him to you - is just too strong that you canât help but think that maybe this is the next step for you. For all the challenges you went through all these years, maybe you deserve something a little more smooth sailing this time.Â
You donât make any promises but you do assure him that youâll send him an email. There are obviously other pressing matters that you have to deal with but this has been a good distraction, one that you allow to preoccupy you for the rest of the day.Â
After saying goodbye, you walk around the neighborhood and spend the afternoon by the river where you wonder about the people surrounding you.Â
What dilemmas are they facing? What heartbreaks are they trying to move on from? What new adventure are they preparing for? Or maybe, who are they trying to forget? Whoâs waiting at home for them? Are they watching the sunset because they know itâs beautiful or because theyâve forgotten that it is?Â
You let out a breath once the sun has dipped and the sky has turned a dark shade of blue. You feel a mix of awe at its beauty and disappointment because the day has come to an end. You once more have to face the person youâve been trying not to think about all weekend.
Giving yourself a pep talk, you go to bed that night with the plan of continuing what you did last Friday, which is avoiding any moments and any chances of talking about what happened. If Jungkook brings it up, then youâll just have to face it and ask him to forget about that night and then deal with the consequences after. But thereâs no way that youâll say anything first; youâll ride this out for as long as you can.
Avoiding talking to Jungkook about non-work matters - which is really what you only intended to do - is much more difficult when you have to pretend you donât care about him.Â
That Monday morning, you stop yourself from asking how heâs doing after spotting the empty whiskey bottle and beer cans in his kitchen bin. While you give him the usual hangover remedy, you stop short of suggesting that he get some rest or buying him his favorite lunch dish.Â
During the meeting that you accompany him to in the afternoon, you watch him helplessly as his father hounds him with questions about the other projects, adding even more pressure than what heâs currently under, and you look away when he tries to meet your eyes. You used to send him encouragement through your gentle nods and soft smiles but youâre scared youâll fall into your feelings once again if you do them, knowing that any sign of him needing you is all it would take for you to give in and talk to him, maybe comfort him.Â
Youâve become so weak for him, you realize that now. His detachment used to put you off and frustrate you, but knowing him the way you do, itâs what makes you want to be there for him; itâs what makes you want to assure him that youâre just there.Â
But you arenât, because youâre pushing him away. Youâre making him go through his confusion and stress and exhaustion all on his own because youâre a coward, too. Youâre scared of your own feelings. Youâre scared of them being rejected and youâre scared of them being returned. You didnât realize just how much you are because you never actually felt something this deeply for anyone, and that terrifies you even more.Â
Watching him from your desk as he pores through documents on his laptop is hard, too. Youâre done for the day but heâs said earlier that heâll be staying late to finish a few things because there are many distractions at his place. You want to tell him they can wait, that heâll need to rest and regain his energy for the week ahead, or that some fresh air could help clear his mind.Â
But you donât. Instead, you pack your things and head out, knowing that much as itâs your decision to force this distance between both of you, itâs still something you wish you didnât have to do. You donât know how long you can sustain it, but somehow you know that once he gives in, so will you, and so all this might as well just be useless or even worse for you.Â
Mr. Ri picks up on the change the next morning, as he asks if you and Jungkook had an argument on the way to his penthouse.Â
âThere was no argument, â you answer. âThereâs just a lot on my mind and heâs a big part of that. I just⌠I just don't know how to deal with things, you know?â
âThings like what?â Mr. Ri asks.Â
âFeelings,â you sigh. âI mean, you said they canât be helped. And youâre right, I canât. Thatâs my big problem right now.â
âOh, ___,â he says, softly smiling through the rear view mirror.Â
You can tell heâs trying to comfort you, something heâs told you before heâs unsure how to do. You brush him off, saying youâll figure it out, and he assures you that you could talk to him and that maybe, you need to just let it out to someone who knows what youâre battling against. You express your appreciation then inhale deeply once you arrive at Jungkookâs building.Â
The clanking sound of plates surprises you when you enter the penthouse. You walk cautiously towards the kitchen and find Jungkook already dressed in his work attire, placing the basket of toasted bread in the middle of the dining table where you spot the two plates with eggs in each. You wonder if youâre late, given that heâd gone ahead and made breakfast for both of you already.Â
âYouâre on time,â he says after seeing you check your watch. âI was just up early. I couldnât really sleep. I think I have too much on my mind.â
âI still could have made this for you,â you say so softly, Jungkook almost misses it.
âI didnât mind,â he answers, wanting to say more, like that he thought it would be nice to make something for you for a change, or that he hopes you could see the effort.
But he keeps them to himself, just like the many other things that he doesnât feel ready to verbalize. He hasnât stopped thinking about you since Thursday night, and he thinks that the distance youâre creating has made his desire even stronger, but so has the fear.Â
He spent the weekend downing alcohol and then boxing for hours to get rid of the hangover. The lemon ginger tea he made didnât really work. He placed the bandage on his beat-up knuckles incorrectly, not like how perfectly youâd done it once. And the chicken noodle soup he ordered when he wasnât feeling well last night didnât taste as good as yours.Â
His mornings arenât the same without the briefest touch from you from fixing his tie, or from the casual conversations during breakfast or in the car. Thereâs not much of your voice or your laughter that he hears, and definitely none of your smile that always encouraged him, that always assured him. This continues for the rest of the day, as he barely feels your presence unless he asks for it. And even then, it almost feels like youâre not there at all.Â
He feels so lost without you, unable to focus and function properly without your guidance and your care. He doesnât know how or when heâs allowed himself to need you this much but it all feels so new yet familiar. All he wants is to be near you again but he admits that seeing you consistently pull away hurts him more than anything.Â
Itâs why that Wednesday, he settles for only minimal glances at you in the car, why he conducts his morning meeting in a cafe instead, why he has the blinds on in his room all afternoon, and why he stays to work late and informs you that heâll go straight to the Arts Center the next day so heâll just meet you in the office.
He does all those so heâs forced to be around you less, so he doesnât look up from his desk to find out that you donât look his way anymore, so that itâs less difficult when you donât do your usual routine with him. He at least wonât feel as bad when you donât ask how heâs feeling if you donât see him look terrible in the morning after not being able to sleep, or when you donât fix his necktie for the fifth time this past week if heâs not around you in the first place.Â
Youâve been going out of your way to avoid him and if he had a bit more courage, heâd probably be able to ask what Thursday night was about and if youâd really wanted to kiss him like he did.Â
But heâs afraid of two things - that youâd ask him to forget all of it, or that youâd both have to figure out how to move forward if the feelings are indeed mutual. There are so many things that could go wrong but just as many that could go right - heâs scared to hurt you either way. And like heâs always said, he doesnât know how to handle all of this; he doesnât know how to talk about what he feels.
Thursday morning comes and while youâre relieved that you donât have to tiptoe around Jungkook again in his own apartment and feel suffocated by the tension, you wonât lie and say that you deeply felt his absence. You also wonât deny that seeing him walk towards his office without sparing you a glance hurt you a little. You know him enough that heâs probably giving you the space that youâve insisted on, but still, a part of you wonders if heâs just accepted it, too.Â
And when you hand him his notes for his late afternoon meeting then when he leaves for the CEOâs office without a look of acknowledgment, you worry that heâs become impatient, that heâll keep pulling away for as long as you are, and that youâll be so far apart that youâll start to wonder if youâd come close to him at all.Â
But you did this, you remind yourself. Youâd been the one to get close, to expect, and then to detach because you were so afraid of what would happen next, and what that would mean for you. Heâs probably the last thread youâre holding onto, connecting you to this world that youâve been planning on leaving for so long. Maybe youâre also scared that if he asked you to stay, you would, and the last thing you want is for him to be the reason why you canât let go, and then resent him for it.Â
You sigh in your seat as the various thoughts plague your mind. You decide to go to the pantry for a cup of tea, knowing you have some time before Jungkookâs meeting with his father is scheduled to end.Â
The support teamâs office is unnervingly quiet at 7PM with only Mr. Ri around, shaking his leg against the chair while browsing on his desktop. He greets you when you enter and then joins you to make his cup of coffee - his fourth for the day, he says - before you both head out the pantry and sit by the meeting table.Â
There arenât any words said as you both blow away the steam from your respective hot drinks, merely letting the tranquility of the evening envelop the two of you. A few minutes pass and Mr. Ri finally looks up and asks why youâre still here, to which you reply that you wanted to be around when Jungkookâs meeting finishes in case he needs you to do something.
âThereâs no need to drop me home,â you tell him. âI can manage on my own.â
âYou know Jungkook wonât like that,â Mr. Ri responds. âHe has strict instructions to drive for you whenever you stay out late. I canât and wonât disobey those orders.â
You know this, which is why you sit in silence with your hands on your lap as if youâre being scolded, and you nod.Â
âOkay,â you say softly. Â
âHeâs worried, you know?â Mr. Ri says after a while. âHeâs been asking me how youâre doing, as if youâre not at the point in your relationship where he can directly talk to you. But Iâve actually been worried about him this past week. He stays up late to work, then goes home to work out. Heâs not himself lately, always out of it and just⌠sad.â
âDid he⌠did he say anything else? About us, specifically?â
âHe didnât tell me if anything happened but Iâm guessing something did, something serious enough that youâd avoid him for days and personal enough that he wonât confront you about it.â
Your face falls, guilt painting it, something Mr. Ri picks up.
âItâs about your feelings, isnât it?â He asks. âYou like him and you can no longer deny it.â
You nod in confirmation, unable to verbalize the words that your heart has been screaming for weeks.Â
âIs it so hard to admit? Is it so hard to talk about?â The older man asks. âI mean, he doesnât tell me anything but Iâve known that man his whole life, ___. Iâll bet a lot and say that he feels the same way about you. Why are you both putting all your effort into avoiding each other instead of talking it out?â
âBecause you know us, Mr. Ri. Weâre the worst at these things,â you shake your head, choosing to disregard his statement that Jungkook may be reciprocating the feelings, knowing youâre not ready to think about it. âAnd you know this, too. Itâs not just about what I feel. Itâs about who he is and who I am and what those imply. Itâs this complicated situation that I wouldnât even be in if I just⌠if I was just strong enough to leave the first time. Or the second time.â
âHey, you know it wasnât about that,â he says. âYou were always strong. You held on even when things were difficultââ
âYeah, I just held on and now Iâm here, caught in between liking my boss and wanting to stay away from him, from his family,â you groan in frustration.Â
But you utter the thoughts that you only rarely entertain, only because theyâre what held you back all those years ago.
âAm I being selfish, for wanting to leave after everything?â You ask. âTheyâve been so good to me. And now that I crossed the line and fell for their son, I want to let everything go.â
âIs that really why you want to resign? Because you like Jungkook?â
âNo⌠it isnât just about that,â you sigh. âOr it is. A big part of it, but also not. I⌠you know Iâve been thinking about this since the whole thing with Mrs. Byun happened, and that was six years ago. But then CEO Jeon asked me to help Hoseok and I stayed. And it was even more important for him that I be there for Jungkook. And I am but now what? How can I continue knowing that I like him? And how can I find myself and learn who I am outside of this when Iâm here, when this is all Iâve ever known and all Iâve ever given myself to? Theyâll always be good to me. I feel selfish by staying, but I also feel that way if I leave.â
âNone of that makes you selfish, ___. You always had a reason to leave and you could have, but there was also always gonna be a reason for you to stay,â he says. âBut they were their reasons, not yours. Whether you stay despite what you feel for Jungkook or leave to find yourself and seek the happiness you deserve, youâre not being selfish.â
You look at the man whom youâve known for years and he sees in your eyes a woman whoâs just asking for any kind of comfort, of any kind of assurance because no else is around to do that.
âWe do what we can at every moment, and we can live with our choices if we know theyâre the best one we can make at that time,â he continues. âWhatever it is you decide to do, I hope you do it for you. Youâre the only person you have to look out for.â
Right outside the door, Jungkook remains unmoving as he processes everything heâd heard, while you continue to talk inside, completely oblivious to how youâve rendered him paralyzed.Â
Jungkookâs meeting with his father ended much sooner than he expected. They merely discussed some happenings with the Board and the lunch that theyâll be hosting on Saturday to welcome some of their familyâs long-time friends who are flying in from Europe.Â
He headed to the support office immediately to tell Mr. Ri that he plans to go home soon but hadnât known you were there as well. But then again, you and their trusted aide - whoâs been his fatherâs chauffeur, bodyguard, and personal assistant for decades - spend a lot of time together, so it didnât feel off to Jungkook that youâd both be talking. Heâs asked the older man to look out for you, too, especially with regards to things that he feels isnât really his place.Â
Jungkook didnât hear much at first, initially deciding to just walk back to his office and call, but once he heard Mr. Ri asking you about resigning, he stopped in his tracks. He felt foolish to be listening in on a conversation heâs not a part of, especially since itâs also because of him.
It shouldâve delighted him to hear you say that you like him. Jungkook couldâve only dreamt up that reality and it still feels surreal. You didnât have a reason to lie and the fact that he isnât the only one seemingly overwhelmed by his own feelings should be a good thing.Â
But that also seems to be your reason for wanting to leave, and the thought breaks his heart in ways he canât explain. Youâve apparently been planning on leaving for years but never got around to do so. If you stayed when his father asked you to, would you do the same if he asked? And he believes that up until last week, your relationship had become the most comfortable itâs ever been. You seem happy here, but why did it also seem like you just wanted to get away?Â
The thoughts make his head hurt, and while a part of him wishes he hadnât heard anything, he at least knows you plan on leaving. And thatâs something he absolutely cannot bear.
The sounds of the chairs being fixed disrupt his thoughts. When he hears Mr. Ri suggest that you should start packing up, Jungkook quietly walks back to his office and nonchalantly calls the older man to inform him that he plans on staying up late and that he should drop you home already. If Mr. Ri notices the odd tone of his voice, he doesnât say anything. He merely expresses his confirmation and not long after, Jungkook hears some shuffling outside his closed door.
âIs there anything you need from me before I leave, Mr. Jeon?â You call out, the walls in between both of you feeling higher and thicker than ever before.
He knows that you know that he no longer asks you to do anything at this hour, and he comforts himself by thinking that itâs your way of letting him know that youâre still there. But the thought is short-lived, as he once again plays the conversation heâd overheard in his mind.
âThereâs none,â he says pointedly. âYou may leave.â
It takes a while but he eventually hears you walk out. Jungkook feels himself breathe for the first time in the last 15 minutes, before he feels suffocated once again.Â
Maybe pulling away last week when heâd been so close gave you the idea that he didnât want you at all, and maybe that had affected you more than he expected. Maybe him, creating more distance that youâd initiated, made you think that thatâs what he wanted after all that. Perhaps his being a coward in facing his own feelings had pushed you away, too, and if youâre scared of what you feel for him, maybe letting you know that he feels the same way is what will make you stay. He could be the happiness youâre searching for, Jungkook convinces himself. He could be what you want and need.
And he already knows that youâre all that for him. Whatever rules he created for himself and the limits he imposed are all pointless if he doesnât have you around at the end of it. If his life after all this doesnât have you in it, thereâs no happiness for him. A new job for you could take you anywhere, maybe far away from where he is; it could lead you to someone, someone who isnât him.
He hates that an overheard conversation about you resigning is what will take for him to finally be honest about what he feels for you. And that potentially losing you by his side is the push he needs to let you know that he wants you, that he wants everything with you, and that he hopes you want the same.Â
Itâs 9:30 PM by the time he enters the car, his head hazy from the two glasses of whiskey he had. Mr. Ri calls him out on another night of him drinking in the office and orders him to get straight to bed like heâd done a few times before when Jungkook had been too stressed and too stubborn to rest. He merely nods though but he follows through, skipping dinner then mindlessly taking a shower before falling asleep in bed after finishing a bottle of beer.
The ringing of the alarm causes Jungkook to grunt and turn off his phone for the peace and quiet that he needs, given the throbbing of his head. But in the silence, he hears the soft knocks on his door, so consistent that he decides to just open it and ask the person on the other side to stop.
But of course, itâs you, and the way you quickly turn your head away reminds him that heâs got nothing but his sweatpants on and heâs too sleepy for anything else to register.
âItâs 7AM, Mr. Jeon. You have an executive meeting at 8,â you tell him, voice so soft and so far away.Â
âFuck,â he groans, rubbing his temples to massage the pain away. âIâll just take a shower. Donât make breakfast anymore. We leave in 20 minutes.â
âNoted, sir,â you say, then walk back towards the kitchen.
Itâs 15 minutes later when his bedroom door opens and he nervously walks over to you. Unable to still remove the image of his half-naked form in your mind, you focus your gaze elsewhere, but he forces it on him when he asks you to fix his necktie, the first time heâd ever done so.
âI was rushing,â he explains.Â
You nod and head to him, hating how your hands slightly shake at feeling so close to him again. You can feel his breath as you watch the rise and fall of his chest. He probably feels as anxious as you, perhaps no longer used to this routine after you stopped it days ago. But you manage without sparing him a glance, keeping your distance and your eyes focused on anything else but him from the walk down to the car and throughout the ride to work.Â
Itâs difficult for you to look at him, not only because youâre ashamed but because youâre afraid of what youâll see. Maybe his eyes will tell of his acceptance of this new dynamic. Maybe theyâll reflect anger and frustration at how youâve disrupted his routine. Or maybe theyâll show sadness - which is what youâre most terrified of - because thatâs your weakness. Any time he looks like he needs comfort or he needs you, you know youâd give in, you know youâd want to be there even if youâve spent the past week staying as far away as possible.Â
You know you donât have much time left here. The Arts Center opens over a month from now and youâve decided to tender your resignation soon after. You know you should be savoring whatever moments you have with him and perhaps thatâs what saddens you the most because you donât know what will come after.Â
Your happiness isnât here, and staying to find out if itâs with him isnât worth it, not when thereâs baggage you carry; not when your own past and insecurities weigh you down.
Arriving in the office, you rush to your desk then walk to his room to give him the notes he needs for the meeting. You turn towards him slowly when he calls you, your name in his voice suddenly sounding foreign.
âCan you prepare me lemon ginger tea? Please?âÂ
His voice is soft, as if he feels burdensome for making such a request. You want to give in so badly and ask how heâs feeling. But you stop yourself. Itâs not the place nor time.
You accompany his tea with pastries, your own request for him to have breakfast, and you get your own, in response to him instructing you to do so. You see from your periphery that heâs trying to catch your attention as the meeting starts, but with this, you hold back. You donât want to see what you now know would be sadness in his eyes.
Jungkook has entered the deepest nook of your heart, you realize. You donât know how you let him get there, and you donât know how to push him out.Â
âAnother night of drinking, huh?â Hoseokâs unusually somber voice disrupts Jungkookâs thoughts as he zones out during lunch. âThe Arts Center getting you that stressed and anxious?â
Jungkook looks at his cousin questioningly.
âI know how you look when youâre tired and this isnât it,â Hoseok responds. âYouâre hungover.â
âIâm fine,â Jungkook huffs, not wanting to get into this with a man who would know when heâs lying.
âYou should be, Kook. Thereâs a lot going on these next few weeks and we need you at your best. Your team has worked so hard for the Arts Center,â Hoseok reminds him. âSo trust them. And donât let them down.â
As always, his words hit Jungkook where they should. Whateverâs going on in his personal life - even if it involves you, his assistant - he has to be professional first, and that means making sure that everything is ready for the launch in six weeks. Thereâs a lot he has to meet and prepare for, and he doesnât know how youâre able to do it. You may be distancing yourself from him but youâre still able to focus and carry out your tasks accordingly. Youâll be fine without him, he thinks. But if youâll go on thinking that he doesnât feel the same way about you, he knows heâll regret it. He knows heâll regret it even more if he doesnât ask you to stay.Â
âYou donât have to worry about me,â Jungkook assures his cousin. âIâve been out of it but Iâll get my shit together.â
âGood. I donât have to remind you that thereâs a lot riding on this. But ___ is there to help. Iâm here, too. Youâve got people who believe in you, okay?â Hoseok smiles, a slice of comfort that Jungkook didnât know he needed. âItâs gonna be okay.â
Jungkook nods and heads back to his office after a full morning has passed, tricking himself into thinking that things will indeed be okay. He just needs to find the courage to face you, finally talk to you, ask you about that night, and tell you what he feels.
But even getting you alone proves to be difficult, as you have your own lunch plans that he didnât want to interfere with, and your own deadlines that he set that he knows youâll make sure to meet.
Jungkook gets caught up in the afternoon in another meeting with some of the Board members who came to visit. Biting his lip in frustration, he manages to not lose his mind as he sits through it, merely hoping to the heavens that you havenât left yet despite the late hour.Â
He speed walks down the hallway once he gets to his floor and almost panics when he sees your work space empty. But he spots your unfinished cup of coffee and he knows you wonât leave without cleaning up. He briefly sighs in relief when he hears shuffling from inside his room, walking closer to find you standing by his desk, with your back facing the door. You place a folder on his tray for signatures and a bound manual for review, then turn around and jerk in surprise when you see him standing there.
âI didnât know your meeting had ended, sir,â you say, the formality grating his ears. All he wants is to hear you speak to him casually again, for you to call him by his name once more.
âIt just did,â he hums. âI didnât know if you were still here. I wanted to see you before you could leave.â
His words catch you off-guard but you try to look unaffected.Â
âIs there anything else you need me to do, sir?â You ask, knowing that heâs past giving you work at this hour on a Friday, but youâre too nervous to think of what else he needs you for.
âNo. IâŚâ he stutters. âYou, uh, youâve been avoiding me,â he manages to say, his eyes pleading for you to look at him.Â
But still, you donât.
âIâm with you everyday, Mr. Jeon,â you insist, your tone cold. âI canât possibly be avoiding you.â
âYou havenât looked at me all week.â
As if in reflex, you glance at him, then shift your eyes on the couch to your left.
âThat doesnât count,â he says, his voice oozing in desperation for you to just spare him some time, something youâve never heard before.
So you give in, as you slowly meet his eyes, and youâre reminded why you didnât want to do it in the first place. Theyâre so sullen. Tired, it seems, but just lacking in light. They were always so expressive, even when theyâre angry, and even more when theyâre sad.Â
âI justâŚâ you start, knowing that with all thatâs happened and with all the stress and pressure he has to endure, you canât be another one in his list to have to try to figure out. You at least owe it to him to be honest.
You look at the door, suddenly conscious of who might wander in your area, and Jungkook takes your cue, closing it once you nod.Â
âSo, why have you been avoiding me?â He asks again, his voice gaining a bit of life now that youâve given him a chance to talk.
âI was just ashamed,â you admit, looking away as the scene from last week plays in your mind again. âI said things I shouldnât have and they made you uncomfortable andââ
âHow do you know that?â He interjects.
âBecause you pulled away!â You say too loudly, lowering your head in embarrassment at the clear frustration youâre expressing. âI thought you wanted to⌠uhâŚâ
âKiss you,â he finishes, earning him the slightest of nods from you.Â
âBut you didnât and I just felt so embarrassed,â you say, your lips quivering now at how much youâre saying, at how much youâre baring yourself to him, unsure if heâll do the same. âThat was completely out of line.â
âYou werenât wrong though,â he almost whispers as he slowly walks towards you. âAbout what I wanted to do. You seemed to want that, too, but we were out there and I⌠I was scared that if Iâd done anything you werenât ready for, then Iâd push you away. I still did anyway. Because youâve spent the entire week avoiding me, talking to me formally, not fixing my tieâŚâ
You stop the giggle that you almost let out, but you canât help your tiny smile as he whines about what youâve been purposely doing.Â
âI just didnât know what to say. I didnât know how to face you after that,â you explain, knowing thereâs so much more to say but that youâll start with this. âBut you avoided me, too,â you suddenly pout.Â
âWhat did you expect me to do?â He exclaims. âYou did it first! You know Iâm not good with these things.â
âNeither am I.â
Jungkook controls himself from kissing the frown off your face and instead, he walks closer. He gets to appreciate you now as he shamelessly eyes your form, the pastel-colored long sleeved blouse tucked inside your white skirt making his heart race.Â
He spots your shy smile as you try to turn away, and he steps closer, wanting to see more.Â
âYou still arenât gonna look at me?â He asks, the soft desperation in his voice prompting you to be bold again.
âI canât. I might lose my mind,â you admit, groaning right after at your own honesty.Â
âIâd quite like that,â he hums. âI⌠I was actually losing my mind all week. It didnât feel right to have you feel so far away. I wanted to fix things but I didnât know how.â
âThat makes both of us,â you sigh, allowing yourself to finally gaze at him in his black suit, the classic look taking your breath away every time. âBut I guess itâs the same with me. I didnât know how badly I wanted you close until you werenât anymore.â
You hesitatingly reach out your hand, an attempt to let him know that close is what you want him to be, but also to see for yourself if this is real, if he really is just breaths away from you, and if he could be even closer.
âIâm not pulling away this time,â he assures you, his boyish smile sending your mind in a frenzy.
Your fingers graze his chest, the way it quickly rises and falls telling you that his heart is probably racing as fast as yours. You fiddle with the neck of his tie before pulling it to bring him closer. He follows your lead, stepping forward and meeting your eyes, seeming like he doesnât want his off of you.Â
âSo uh, are you losing your mind now?â He whispers teasingly.Â
The way he utters the words with such yearning is a contrast to the shy look on his face. Itâs a side of him youâre not ready for, but itâs one youâre thoroughly enjoying. Itâs also pushing you to be even more shameless, as you nod and take his hand this time, placing it on your waist so you could feel his touch again. Heâs gentle, trailing his fingers up and down your sides.Â
âI am,â you manage to say, and you wish he could tell by the way youâre panting that his effect on you is way beyond your control now, and that itâs something you want to embrace. You mirror his smile, soft and warm yet full of desire.
He makes his move, placing his hand on your cheek as he eliminates whatever distance is left. And he stands there, just one breath away.Â
âYou have no idea how much Iâve been thinking about that night, wishing Iâd done things differently,â he heaves, his eyes flitting to your lips constantly, âwishing I had been brave enough to do what Iâve been wanting to do for so long.â
You lick your lips in tandem with his, and once you feel him thumb your cheek, itâs all over for you. With a whisper of his name, you hold your breath, and the next thing you feel is his mouth on yours.Â
He kisses you deeply, expressing just how much heâs been wanting to do this. You smile as you return his desire, suddenly feeling like youâre floating, as if heâs some dream that youâre able to reach, like heâs that beautiful thing thatâs tangible, that you can touch, that you can taste.
You moan once his tongue gains entrance, entangling with yours and dominating you immediately until heâs all you can breathe in. He cups your face, directing it where he wants, while his one hand trails down your back to knead your ass, as if to keep himself steady as he loses himself in you. Your breathing quickens even more as the pleasure rises, and with your fingers palming his chest and gripping his collar, he pushes you against his table.Â
He cages you and keeps you in place while he devours your lips, and you feel him all over you just as you wanted. Youâre hypnotized by his scent, by his warm breath, and by the large hands that now grip your waist and lift you to sit on the edge of his desk.Â
Your mind is hazy, high on the drug that is his kiss, lust-filled and passionate and relentless. You yearn for him even more the longer you taste him, feel him, and thereâs no part of you that wants this to end. Your moans push him to kiss you harder, leaving you a whimpering mess and with a mind that's truly unable to think a single thought outside of this trance-like feeling. His arms now wrap around you, and his hands, seemingly desperate to touch every part of you that he can, trail up and down your back, as if to caress you, as if to say that he wonât stop, that he wonât let you go.
Finally needing air, he removes his lips from yours only to travel to the most sensitive parts of you - on the shell of your ear that his tongue grazes repeatedly, and on your neck that he licks and sucks vigorously. You feel the chills all over your body, and you grind against him to try to satiate that growing need of yours, as you start to feel the dampness in your underwear. His hardening length makes you want everything he can give you, rules and boundaries be damned.Â
This isnât like you but youâve never felt this much pleasure and desire in all your life. Nothing couldâve prepared you for the ecstasy that kissing and feeling him would give. You feel his desperation and desire for you, as he grunts and moans your name, aching to feel more, to do more. You want to live in this moment, and then live it everyday, just take him in and take everything and give him everything.Â
But you shouldâve known that some things are too good to be true. And much as you hope and imagine for things to turn out a certain way in belief that you deserve good things in this world, they donât. Those donât happen to people like you. Thereâs always something underneath it all, as the fantasy shatters like a glass ceiling breaking at his words.
âStay, ___. Donât leave,â he hums against you, the tip of his nose gliding against your neck as he takes in your scent. âPlease donât resign. I canât⌠Iââ
You feel frozen as you process what heâs said. âWha-what?â You manage to ask, your mind slowly waking up now.Â
His lips take a pause at devouring your skin and he faces you, his chest heaving and his eyes glassy and pleading as he repeats his words.
âDonât leave, ___. Donât resign. Stay with me. I need you next to me.âÂ
âWhere is this coming from?â You demand, your heart racing now for a different reason, your anxiety building at how he couldâve known of your plans. You pull away to get a better look at him, with guilt now painting his eyes.
âI⌠I overheard you and Mr. Ri talking last night,â he admits shamefully. âI didnât mean to. I was going to just walk away but you talked about leaving and what you feel about me and I just⌠I froze. I donât want you to go anywhere, ___. I need you here.â
The silence drags on as you let his words settle, words you thought you wanted to hear. But not like this, you realize. This isnât how you imagined heâd tell you he wants to be with you.Â
He attempts to cup your cheek again but you pull yourself back, the rejection breaking him this time.
âYou knew I wanted to kiss you last week,â you start, your voice shaking as the pieces fit together. âYou knew yet you pulled away. You let a whole week pass with this distance, with no attempt from you to talk to me about it, or to even tell me what you feel but then you learn last night, after listening to a conversation you had no part in, that I like you. And tonight, you kiss me because suddenly you need me? Because you want me to stay next to you?â
âIââ Jungkook starts, unable to say anything as you put it the way you do.Â
Heâs wanted you for so long and always had reasons to keep his distance. He tried to gain the courage to talk to you this week, even as you avoided him, but he didnât. There was just so much fear, so much worry about what he should do, about you asking him to forget about it, about possibly pushing you away even more. He didnât intend for things to happen this way but for you to think that heâs only doing this in an attempt to keep you from resigning is all kinds of wrong, even if in hindsight, thatâs exactly what it looks like. He couldâve said something earlier, he couldâve told you what he felt, and he wouldâve been brave enough if he really wanted to.Â
âYou knew how I felt and you kissed me so Iâd stay,â you repeat. âYou hate change and me leaving will change everything for you and this⌠this is how you make sure I donât.â
Stepping down from the desk, you realize how much youâd lost yourself in him, with your skirt bunched up and your blouse all creased. You fix yourself, suddenly ashamed, and suddenly unsure where you stand. It took so much of you to admit what you felt for him and now it seems that he hadnât been into you the way that you thought.Â
You want him with you, but he wants you here, thatâs the difference.Â
âI⌠want you,â Jungkook says, the words suddenly hard for him to say, as he gets choked up at the distance youâre creating. âI guess I always have. I just couldnât do anything because I had to be professional and there were boundaries I couldnât cross. But I couldnât help it. Those donât matter to me anymore. Only you do.âÂ
His pleading eyes ask you to believe him, to understand him this time. But your silence and the way you look at him in disappointment tell him itâs not something youâre able to do.Â
âI never thought youâd feel the same way,â he continues. âAnd now I know that you do and that just means we can figure it out, right? Staying means we get to be together everyday. We⌠we get to have this everyday. Donât you⌠donât you want that?â
This is when you realize that much as you want to believe in his sincerity, itâs hard when he thinks of you as a necessity. You make his life easier. Youâre his assistant, after all. And that makes you unsure if he only wants you because he needs you, or if theyâre just the same thing to him.Â
He didnât even ask you why you wanted to leave. Maybe that should tell you enough.
â___, please. I just want to be with you.â
Itâs also at this moment when you realize just how much youâve fallen for him. Youâd feared that if he asked you to stay, you would, and that means putting another personâs needs ahead of yours again, just like what youâve done all these years. Staying would mean that youâd be unable to find yourself outside of all this, and youâve given up too much not to choose your own happiness this time, even if it means saying goodbye to the person who also makes you happy.
Finding what little strength you have in you, you turn to him. âI donât want to stay, Jungkook,â you say, your heart breaking as you utter the words, even more when you ask him to forget about everything that happened tonight. âWe canât do this. I canât do this with you. Not like this. Iâm so sorry.â
With your smashed heart in your hands, you do the hard thing and walk out the door, leaving in your wake a man whose broken pieces that youâve put together all shattered once again.Â
Walking down the block to get to the bus stop feels like a marathon, as the street feels so long with the heavy burden youâre carrying weighing you down too much. But you manage to get there, only to decide that youâd much rather spend the ride home on your own. You turn to a street to hail a cab then realize once you get in one that it was the spot where Jungkook had seen you, drenched under the rain with a sprained ankle.Â
He healed parts of you that night, with his quiet assurance that you didnât have to go through your struggles on your own. Youâd hold on to that thought months later, though youâre unsure about now - much as things hurt at this moment, all you want is to be alone.
You get off two stops early and mindlessly walk towards the convenience store, thinking that some snacks for dinner would do. You donât really feel like eating but your bodyâs needs are greater than your own desire to eat. Walking down the aisles, you decide youâre only good for some cup noodles tonight. You donât even deserve boiled eggs that you suddenly craved, nor honey chips, and you definitely donât deserve dessert after what you allowed to happen earlier.Â
You stop your movements once you realize youâre sitting on the same spot where you and Jungkook had eaten when he drove you home that night he took you to the park. It had been a terrible evening after that incident with your ex, but Jungkook was the protective one who helped shoulder all the anger that you were too exhausted to feel. He was a reliable and comforting presence, familiar yet new with his warmth. During the occasional moments in the weekend after when your mind would go to that night, youâd think of Jungkook and how he made you feel safe.
It feels too much, so you take your noodles and finish them on the bench outside. You walk home after, letting the crisp evening air envelop you as your mind replays what happened.Â
You donât think youâve ever wanted to feel someone the way you wanted to feel him, but you suppose thatâs why it hurts as much as it does. You wanted him to want you as much as you did, and you were perhaps foolish to think heâd have the same reasons as you. Maybe you were really just stupid for feeling anything in the first place, knowing your place in his world. Youâre everything convenient and easy and familiar and despite the week of walking on eggshells around him, you gave in so quickly. He knew what to do when it came to you.Â
And maybe thatâs on you. You allowed yourself to feel so much for a man whose life is so intertwined with yours that itâs hard to know whatâs real. Yet you know that despite all that, your desire for him is still too strong. Itâs why you had to leave right away.Â
Another moment of him pleading for you to not resign and you mightâve given in again. Another second of hearing him ask you to be with him and you wouldâve believed him - that there was sincerity in all that, that heâd be with you regardless if you stayed in the company or not. Now youâre left with the thought that the convenience was what he wanted, that as he crossed the line, it was all or nothing for him. And that youâd be the weak one, willing to give up what else you could be outside of all this just for him.Â
Perhaps youâre also asking for too much. Heâs used to a life without much consequences to his actions. Thereâs a lot he doesnât know, especially what you had to endure and give up to be here and what you want out of life now that youâre old enough to take control of it. Maybe for him, asking you to stay was that declaration and proof of his feelings; doing so took so much out of him already that thinking of what life would be like without being with you everyday was too hard of a reality to accept or work around.Â
Youâre too out of it that you donât realize that youâve been standing outside your door. Youâre thankful for the weekend at least. Youâll spend half of it in bed, and the other half preparing yourself for how youâll face him again, and how youâll finally say goodbye.Â
You enter and sigh at the warmth inside. Dropping your bag on the floor, you stand by your tiny dining table and take a bite off the apple you find in your fridge. You gaze at your shelf, the one filled with photos of your family and friends and a few more of different sceneries that you took using the disposable camera that Jungkook had gifted you for your birthday. Itâs another reminder of how much a part of your life heâs become, how, of all the people in the world, heâd been the one to show you that capturing moments is a gift you shouldnât take for granted.Â
You often wondered what moments he liked to capture. He doesnât have photos in his penthouse other than those of structures and buildings that are artistically taken. There are framed old blueprints and historical pieces but nothing of him and the people in his life.Â
Maybe he doesnât have good enough memories he wants to keep. For a short moment, you wished that the times he shared with you are ones heâd like to hold onto. But maybe the idea would hurt more - youâll just be a memory like he would be to you.Â
You always wanted to keep only good ones of him, but the sight of him rooted in his spot and in shock as you turned him down is far from something you want to remember. Heâs something you didnât know you wanted, but he stands between you and the life youâve always wished for yourself - one where you get to decide, to be free, to be happy.Â
Heâll let you go and forget all this, you think to yourself. Youâll be the one who walked away. And heâll be the one who didnât run after you.
Jungkook is stunned as he watches your retreating form. The sounds of your heels against the marble floor disappear as he remains unmoving from his spot in his room where heâd kissed you just moments earlier. You felt and tasted just like he imagined, and the moment his lips touched yours, he knew heâd want to keep kissing you over and over again.Â
It was the first time in a long time that he allowed himself to be honest about how he felt, giddy emotions included. It felt freeing to be able to admit all of that to you after all these months of denying it and walking around eggshells when it came to you. Heâd been sure, after last night, that you felt the same way, even more when he felt how your body reacted and how your heart raced, aching for him as much as his heart was yearning for you.Â
You sounded hypnotizing, too. The way youâd moaned his name ignited something in him that none of the women heâd slept with had ever done before, and he knows itâs because heâd never felt anything genuine for them. They were good for the moment but he knew, especially the instance that he felt you close, that he wanted you for more than that. He wanted the soft touches and the gentle whispers, the longing looks and the intertwined hands. He wanted more than he thought he would, but during his most vulnerable state, he uttered the words heâd been dying to say since last night when he learned of your plans.
He asked you to stay. He told you he needs you, that he wants to be with you.
They sounded like pleas and maybe thatâs what they were. From the deepest and coldest nooks of his heart, he was pleading for you to not leave. Heâd finally admitted what heâd been so scared to accept, but all his words did were hurt you.Â
You insisted that all he cared about was the convenience of being together everyday, that you staying meant heâd get to keep all that was familiar. And he doesnât know what would be taken away from you if you did.Â
You wanted him, too, didnât you? Wasnât that enough? And wasnât being with him all that mattered?Â
Sure, thereâd be complications, but those are things he knows youâd both be able to face, theyâre things you can navigate around and figure out together because this isn't just a one-time, spur-of-the-moment type of thing. He wants all of you, everything with you, whatever it takes.Â
He hadnât realized it until that second he held you in his arms. And then again when you pulled away, looked at him with glassy eyes, and told him you couldnât stay.Â
Heâd been too hurt to run after you. He didnât know what to say then. How would he, when youâre the one who couldnât commit to what you felt by staying around? He felt that betrayal, of that feeling of inadequacy, of his feelings for you not being enough. He bared his emotions to you after being so scared of doing so, and then you crushed his heart just like that, with his broken pieces that youâd just put together, scattered on the floor.Â
This isnât like him. Itâs been a long time since heâs allowed himself to feel so much for another person, to care for them, to want them in a way that scares him. But you showed him a life where it was possible to open himself up again, to find out what happiness could feel like this time, and in that same breath, you took it all away.
Heâs not sure where to go from here. But he decides heâll think about that tomorrow. Tonight, he just wants to forget. Tonight, he just wants to wallow in his sadness, erase the memory of your touch and the feel of your mouth against his, and let it all go.Â
Jungkook instructs Mr. Ri to go home. Heâll drive himself, he insists. Thereâs just no one right now he wants to be around.Â
He drinks a glass of whiskey for the road and manages to get home in one piece. He settles on the couch as he finishes another half bottle, then chugs down a few cans of beer after. The image of you gets blurry. His mouth numbs and he starts forgetting your taste on his lips, too.Â
His head falls on the pillow and his hand mindlessly reaches out. Thereâs no heartbeat that he feels; heâs forgotten how fast yours was already. The sound of your laughter and then of your moans is replaced with a buzzing in his ear as his mind starts to fall away.Â
The warmth of your body is gone but somehow he feels hot, so hot but he canât get his clothes off. He struggles a little, his fingers arenât doing their job so he gives up instead, curls into the corner of the couch, and for the briefest moment, he sees your smile so clearly. And then his mind drifts away completely, taking his confusion and yearning for you along with it.Â
At least for now, thereâs not much of you he remembers. But somewhere deep inside, he knows thatâll all change when he wakes up in the morning and searches for you, knowing you wonât be around to tell him that everything is gonna be okay.
Hoseok massages his temple as his sixth call to his cousin in the last half hour remains unanswered.Â
âHeâs still not picking up,â he groans, the unusual feeling of annoyance bubbling inside him at Jungkookâs irresponsibility.
Itâs Saturday morning and some friends of their family flew from Europe last night for lunch at the Jeonsâ estate. This gathering was scheduled in time for their grandfatherâs death anniversary today, and itâs an event that Mr. Jeon was adamant that Jungkook and Hoseok attend as their respective familiesâ representatives and as heirs of the company. Those friends had been there when their grandfather built Jeon Corporation from the ground up, and welcoming them is a sign of respect for that friendship and for the memory of the man theyâre celebrating today.Â
Jungkook had informed Mr. Ri that heâll be driving himself to the estate and promised to be there before 11 AM, as what his father had requested. Itâs half past that and heâs still nowhere to be found. He hasnât been picking up his phone and his friends claim they donât know where he is. Knowing how important today is, Hoseok wanted to accompany Mr. Ri in going to the younger manâs apartment to pick him up and find out why heâs late. When the elder Jeon asks, which he will, Hoseok would at least have a reason to give. It just better be a good one.
They both arrive at the building and are informed that Jungkookâs cars are still in their respective slots. Heâs not in any of the amenities and the guards report that they havenât seen him since he arrived on his own last night. He may not be a fan of these types of events but Jungkook always shows up. He knows what today means for their family; if not for his father, then at least for his grandfather, a man he respected and looked up to. If, for some reason, he failed to wake up, then he must be in a bad condition, and Hoseok either has to scold his cousin, or cover for him.
With no one answering the door, Mr. Ri uses his access and enters. Itâs dark and quiet inside, with the blinds all closed. When he and Hoseok find Jungkook passed out on the couch with an empty whiskey bottle and beer cans on the floor, itâs the same moment that Mr. Riâs phone rings, and itâs your name that lights up the screen.
âHi, Mr. Ri,â you groggily say. âIâm sorry I missed your calls. I had a late night and just woke up. Is everything okay?â
âIâm not sure,â he sighs, as he watches Hoseok pull Jungkook from his cowering form in an attempt to get him to wake up.
âWhat do you mean?â You ask, standing from your bed now, suddenly awake.Â
âI was calling to ask if you knew where Jungkook was. Their family gathering is today and he was supposed to be at his parentsâ house 30 minutes ago but he wasnât. He wasnât picking up our calls either.â
âOh, I⌠I donât know where he is,â you say softly, the mention of his name reminding you of what transpired last night, the image of Jungkookâs dejected look appearing in your mind. You worry about him though, wondering what time he got home. âHave you found him? Is he okay?âÂ
âHoseok and I are at his apartment and heâs passed out drunk,â Mr. Ri states, as Jungkook finally opens his eyes and mumbles some words that the older man has to walk closer to hear. âWhat happened last night, ___? Why is he calling your name? And why is he asking for you to come back?â
It shouldnât come as a surprise to you that Jungkook had spent last night drinking his feelings away. You know enough from your time with him that itâs what he does when heâs stressed or mad or frustrated, and then he wakes up the next morning and hits the gym to deal with his hangover. Thereâs none of that today, apparently, and you stop yourself from instructing Mr. Ri to prepare him some lemon ginger tea.Â
âWhat happened last night, ___?â He repeats. âDid you fight?â
âWeâŚâ you start, knowing that if thereâs anyone who has to know about last night, itâs the man on the other end of the phone. âWe, uh⌠we kissed. And then he asked me not to resign then I pulled away.â
Walking towards the kitchen to hand Hoseok a glass of water, Mr. Ri asks if youâd told Jungkook of your plans, stating that he hadnât told him about it.
âHe overheard us talking last Thursday,â you respond. âHe knew what I felt about him, kissed me, then asked me to stay. He said he didnât want me to go, that he wanted to be with me, and that we could be together everyday. It didnât feel right,â you continue, your voice shaking now as you recall the conversation. âIt wasnât supposed to happen that way. We were supposed to talk about it. He wasnât supposed to use my feelings against me like that.â
âDid you tell him why youâre planning on leaving?â
âNo⌠He just went on about needing me to be with him and I⌠I couldnât bear it,â you say, feeling the tears dance around your eyes. âYou told me that I could always leave but even then, Iâd always have a reason to stay but it would be their reason, not mine. I finally built the courage to decide on this because you know I need this. I donât want him to be my reason this time. Or else Iâll never be able to let all of it go.â
âI know,â Mr. Ri sighs, knowing more than anyone what you mean.Â
Heâll never be brave like you, but he understands that burden, that desire to just be free; he knows what itâs like to be held back even if itâs your own decision. Because at the end of the day, youâll always think you have a debt to be paid. He knows he does, but heâll always believe that you donât. Surviving was always enough.
âBut I think he has to know, ___,â he continues. âHe wouldnât let himself go through this kind of suffering if you donât mean that much to him. You have to tell him the truth. And I mean everything. You owe it to yourself, too. I know he means a lot to you but you canât move forward in any way, with or without him, if youâll just keep him in the dark.â
You let Mr. Riâs words settle. You told yourself the moment you entered the company that you wonât let your past define you, including your relationship with this family. Youâll work hard and everyone else will know you for that, and not for any other reason. You also knew that youâd spend every second of being here trying to prove to yourself that youâre capable, despite the irony that you were the one defining your time here based on your past that you just somehow couldnât run away from.Â
You werenât supposed to feel anything for Jungkook. You couldâve gone on with your plan of resigning without feeling bad that you were leaving him behind. And even in that alternative reality where heâd ask you to stay, it wouldâve been easy to say no. What makes this difficult is that you started to care. You got scared that if he asked you, you would stay. And now that he did, you have to be stronger than your desire to be with him.
Leaving would be hard, but staying would be much harder.Â
You wish it was easy to make him understand. But you suppose without him knowing the truth, he wouldnât be able to.Â
So you give Mr. Ri permission.Â
âI donât know how to tell him,â you say. âYou would. Make him understand. Maybe heâll let me go. Maybe heâll still come after me. And maybe heâll forgive me, too.â
Mr. Ri hums and drops the call. He returns to the living room where Jungkook is now seated upright on the couch, downing his second glass of water and taking medicine to deal with the hangover. The blinds are now up, causing him to squint his eyes. At least he looks alive now.Â
âThat was ___,â Mr. Ri says. âShe was wondering how you were.â
âDid you tell her I look terrible?âJungkook asks bitterly.
âI did. She also told me what happened.â
âWhat⌠happened?â Hoseok wonders. âDid you have a big fight?â
Knowing he has no way out of this, Jungkook tells the truth. âWe, uh, we kissed,â he answers, earning him a gasp from his cousin, who clarifies that while heâs not that surprised, heâs curious as to why both of you arenât together right now.
â___ plans on resigning. He asked her not to,â Mr. Ri answers. âBut you⌠you have to let her go, Jungkook. She needs to learn who she is and what she can do without anything holding her back.â
âIf thatâs her reason, then she has to know that she can keep learning who she is and what she can do here, with me,â Jungkook insists, slowly gaining clarity, as all the words he couldnât say last night suddenly come out so easily. âThereâs so much she can do. If what we feel for each other is the issue and that means she canât directly work for me, then there are other departments where sheâd fit well in. This isnât just about convenience for me. I want to see her everyday but having her around means I get to make sure sheâs taken care of, that sheâs treated well.â
âAnd then what? Sheâll feel indebted to you because of that?â Mr. Ri counters. âThis is more than just developing her skills or building her career, Jungkook. This is about being someone outside of this company. Itâs about doing something without feeling like she constantly has to prove that she deserves what she has.â
âAnd she does. Who does she have to prove anything to? Weâre beyond that. Everyone knows sheâs capable.â
âShe has to prove it to herself. It may be hard for you to understand but she⌠she wonât get to accept all that she is until sheâs ridden herself of the burden she carries. For as long as she works for your family, sheâll always feel it.â
The words feel a little too personal, Jungkook thinks, as Mr. Ri talks about your insecurities as if heâd seen you live them, and perhaps he has. The older man witnessed those first few turbulent weeks, and having known you since you started working here through the CEO, perhaps Mr. Ri had seen how your spirit broke a little because of Jungkook.
But still, something about the way Mr. Ri looks sullenly at him says that thereâs more to what the older man had seen, as if he himself is pleading for Jungkook to let you go this way, as if the care runs deep and the words carry so much more emotion.
âShe needs this, Jungkook,â Mr. Ri continues. âSheâs planned on leaving a few times before but her gratitude towards your family always pulled her back. If you really care about her, you wonât let that happen this time. If you want to be with her, youâll have to do it without her being here. Regardless of what she feels for you, she needs this more. You can let her go without really letting her go, you have to know that.â
It all feels too much and Jungkookâs mind is filled with so many questions. What do you owe his family? How does proving yourself have anything to do with leaving the company? How does he fit into all this? What do you need time away for? And how can he be with you at the end of it? Would you still want that, given that he didnât even ask you why?
âHow are you sure thatâs what she needs?â Jungkook asks, curiosity getting the best of him. Â
âIâve known her for 20 years, Jungkook,â Mr. Ri sighs. âI know itâs what she believes.â
Jungkook may still be dealing with a hangover, but he knows his ears didnât betray him. Twenty years, thatâs how long youâve known the man he trusts with his life, the man his father trusts with his familyâs life.Â
The tale is an open secret. Ri Byung-hun was a kid who grew up in the streets. He tried to steal from Jungkookâs grandfather, whose construction business then was slowly taking off. The elder man took pity on the young teen and sent him to school, and Byung-hun showed his gratitude by working for the family, eventually becoming Jungkookâs fatherâs chauffeur, bodyguard, and closest confidant all in one. The loyalty goes both ways, and itâs stood the test of time.Â
Jungkook doesnât know all the details but he knows enough. What he doesnât know is who you are in Mr. Riâs life, and why Jungkook hadnât heard of you before.Â
âHow do you know ___?â Jungkook finally manages to ask. âWho is she to you?â
âI know ___ because of her mother. And over 20 years ago, Cho Hye-soo was your fatherâs assistant.â
âSheâ what?âÂ
Jungkook canât hide his shock, and neither can Hoseok, who looks just as surprised about the truth as he is. His cousin wouldâve been in his early teens at that time, and as it was when it came to their familyâs children, training to become company heirs starts early, but they donât get immersed until during their late teenage years.Â
âI⌠I know Mrs. Cho,â Hoseok says. âIâve met her several times but I⌠I never knew. They never said anything.â
âIt wasnât something they wanted people to know,â Mr. Ri explains. âOther than both of your parents, Iâm the only other person who does. Too much time has passed for people to make the connection. It was just better that no one knew.âÂ
âWhat else did they not want people to know?â Jungkook asks. âWhat did ___ and her mom do? What⌠what do they owe our family?â
The elder man knew that at some point, Jungkook was going to have to learn the truth. He just didnât think it would have to be under these conditions, and that heâd be the one telling the young man about how your lives are intertwined, that whatever pain you both carried growing up, those would always lead you back to each other.Â
âYour father and Hye-soo were no different to how you and ___ are,â Mr. Ri starts. âHeâd just been appointed President and he was under a lot of pressure - from your grandfather, the Board, the rest of your family⌠He was always stressed and it didnât help that he was a perfectionist, just like you. That obviously affected your family, but it also affected those who worked for him, especially Hye-soo, who felt that she had a lot to prove.â
She didnât have a Seoul education but she was smart and resourceful, incredibly hardworking and devoted, something you inherited from her, the elder man shares. The similarities are striking, and Jungkook braces himself, hoping that they end there.Â
âShe always had to work overtime, including weekends, and that took a lot of time away from being with ___. Hye-soo would leave her daughter in the library where her friend worked, and that seemed to be enough. But of course, it wasnât easy, especially with a partner who lost his job and started drinking to cope.â
As Mr. Ri continues, Jungkook starts to fear something else, and so he asks.Â
âDid⌠did he hurt them?â
âHe yelled a lot,â Mr. Ri answers. âIâd hear it sometimes during breaks when sheâs on the phone with him and it crushed me every time. Hye-soo wouldnât say much, just that he was a good guy who just didnât know how to deal with hardships. She never justified his actions until of course, that piece of shit started hitting her.â
Jungkookâs heart breaks at the words, unable to imagine growing up in a household like that - feeling afraid, unsafe, and unfree.Â
âHye-soo assured me that Kang-ho never hurt ___. She was good at that, at protecting her child. One time, she was called to work on a Saturday and that didnât go well with him, but she⌠she always puts her daughter first, and that meant work would always be her priority because itâs what pays the bills and what sends her to school,â Mr. Ri narrates, his eyes growing more dejected by the second as he recalls those times.Â
âShe was rushing and couldnât properly conceal the bruise on her face. She was worried thatâs why she took ___ with her. Hye-soo kept crying as your father asked her what happened. She apologized for being late and for bringing her daughter to work, and she asked to stay in the office for the night until she figured out where they could go. I had never seen her break down like that,â he says, his voice shaking now. âAnd I wonât forget how scared ___ looked. She was just 10 years old then, clinging to her mother and not wanting to let her go. We were all strangers to her but somehow, she knew that we were there to protect them.â
The silence goes on, as both men take in Mr. Riâs words, but itâs Hoseok who asks what happened after, and eventually, what got you here.Â
âMr. and Mrs. Jeon didnât hesitate to help,â the older man shares. âThey had Hye-soo and ___ stay at the staff house in their estate for a few nights until they got a new place to stay. I helped them get their stuff after Kang-ho figured out what was happening and ran. The police had a warrant for his arrest but they couldnât find him for days.âÂ
Turning to Jungkook, he adds, âyour parents paid for all the legal and medical fees. Because Kang-ho knew they were helping, you all had to go away until he was found. Hye-soo and ___ went to Busan where he couldnât trace them; your parents stayed in one of their houses in Gwangju while you and your brother were in Gwacheon.â Mr. Ri sighs at the memory as he recalls those days. âThe reason why you were in that cabin was so they could protect you. I know you held a grudge against them for years because you thought they just left you there but they couldnât stay with you, Jungkook. You were all in danger and they had to keep you and Jeong-sik safe.â
Jungkook looks back at that night when everything changed for him. Things already werenât going well with his brother; the three-year gap and the way they were always compared kept them from getting along. His parents knew that, yet they still left him with Jeong-sik, who abandoned him in the woods when they played hide-and-seek. Thatâs where Jungkook was left alone, lost and scared under the rain, the thunder roaring as he yelled for someone to come. Heâs always lived with that fear, always carried that memory of anger and blame within him that transformed into a habit of just pushing people away, of keeping them out because that was better to accept than the knowledge that people he trusted left him on his own.Â
But thereâs a reason, he learns now, one that his parents kept from him to protect you and your mother, too. Itâs all too much, but he thinks now that maybe thereâs a reason why you were so patient with him, why you didnât judge him that night at the guest house, why you somehow understood what he was so scared of. He doesnât know if you know that the night at the cabin had anything to do with what you and your mother went through, but regardless, maybe thatâs why he always felt so strongly about you. The connection he was yearning for was always there, itâs tied to something, and he realizes itâs tied to your shared past.
âDid the police find the man?â Jungkook asks now, his headache somehow worsening from all the things heâs learning. But he just wants to know that you werenât even more hurt, that there was a way that his parents kept you safe.Â
âI did,â Mr. Ri responds. âI still had contact with people in the streets, and I left Gwacheon once I got a call that they knew where he was staying. I hunted him down and I handed him over⌠with a bloodied face and a few broken bones. They charged him for domestic violence and a few other crimes, including drug possession that would keep him in prison for years, long enough for Hye-soo and ___ to recover.â
âAnd what about you? Were you charged?â Jungkook wonders.
âNo, I claimed self-defense and Iââ
âBut it wasnât, was it?â Jungkook counters, knowing thereâs more to what Mr. Ri is saying.Â
âIt wasnât,â the old man admits, turning away as he says the words. âI couldâve done more but I⌠I couldnât lose myself to the anger even if it was all I felt. I knew Hye-soo wouldnât have forgiven me if I did.â
âYou loved her, didnât you?â Jungkook says, dawning on him now that everything Mr. Ri had done was so he could protect your mother and you. He realizes that all the times that the elder man looked out for you was because he was looking out for someone he truly cared about, someone who mattered the most to the person who mattered the most to him.
âI did,â Mr. Ri sighs. âI still do.â
Jungkook recalls the night during the team building and the elder manâs words, about the woman heâd loved for so long, and that moving on from her meant expending all that love to those he cares about, and now Jungkook knows that he was referring to you.Â
âDid she know? And did she love you back?â
âShe⌠she asked me to move to Busan with her and ___,â Mr. Ri answers, his eyes faraway as memories of that conversation come rushing back, how heâd wanted to just run away and build a life he never thought he could have with the woman heâd fallen so hard for, but how he had to make the hardest decision then, knowing it was going to haunt him for the rest of his life.Â
âWhy didnât you?â Jungkook wonders.Â
âI owe everything I have to your family, Jungkook,â Mr. Ri explains. âThey gave me a second chance. Your grandfather got me off the streets, your father taught me everything I know, they⌠they had my records cleaned. They did it when I was a kid and they did it again when I was an adult. The only way I could ever pay them back was through my loyalty. I couldnât leave, not after everything theyâve done for me.â
âBut you loved her. She was your second chance,â Jungkook argues.
âAnd that love caused me to commit a crime I shouldnât have. I was going to pay for it one way or another,â Mr. Ri responds. âThatâs how I chose to do it, by letting her go, knowing that Iâd be able to look after her and ___ better that way. Your father would protect me, and I would protect them. Thatâs⌠thatâs how things go.â
Itâs a tragic love story, Jungkook thinks. Two people who feel so much having to let each other go, their own pasts pushing them towards opposite directions. Decisions were made and that pulled them apart. He supposes that reciprocated feelings arenât always enough.
âWhat happened after that?â Hoseok asks now, wanting to know as well how you and your mother managed, and if thereâs any more danger that you face.
âThey stayed in Busan for a few years. They only returned to Daegu after they learned that Kang-ho died in prison after acquiring some respiratory disease,â Mr. Ri replies. âMr. and Mrs. Jeon helped with the move, too. They had me check on Hye-soo and ___ almost every month, just to make sure they were doing well. It was hard, of course. Hye-soo wasnât earning the same as she was so she took another job just to keep ___ in a good school. Mr. Jeon knew that, so he kept offering to pay for her education but Hye-soo always turned him down. That continued until she got to college, and knowing that her mom wonât accept help again, ___ was the one who decided to take the offer. They paid for her tuition, and she eventually got an internship in the company. She took the job offer, too, and sheâs just been working hard ever since, thinking that she has everything to prove.â
âWhy does my father think he can buy peopleâs loyalty just like that?â Jungkook shakes his head in disbelief. âIt traps people⌠it gives them no option.â
âI know it may seem that way but your father knows how important loyalty is, and itâs something that he gives, too. He trusts me just as much I trust him,â Mr. Ri defends. âBut when it comes to Hye-soo and ___, it isnât about loyalty but guilt. He blames himself for what happened to them. Even if it was all Kang-hoâs fault, your father always believed that if he hadnât been so demanding, things wouldnât have escalated. It was all the overtime, all the unfair requests that took Hye-sooâs time from her partner, from her daughter. He carries that guilt with him and how he treated her. In a way, I think that was his wake-up call. Work stopped consuming him after. He became considerate of his staff, asking about their families and how theyâre doing. He tried to make it up to you and your brother but that seemed to be the hardest thing for him; he didnât know how to get your trust back.â
âBut wasnt ___ choosing to work here about loyalty? She stayed every time he asked her to. She wouldnât have if she felt indebted to our family,â Jungkook remarks, not wanting to delve into his own relationship with his father.Â
âShe wanted to repay them just so her mom would stop carrying that burden,â Mr. Ri says. âThey were able to get away and build a new life where they were safe because of your parents and for ___, that always meant everything. She planned to work for them, but even a part of her felt that all the opportunities she was given was out of kindness. She always felt she didnât deserve it but your parents also think they canât ever make it up to her and her mother enough.â
At the silence, he continues. âPeople are complicated that way, I guess. We all have our own burdens to carry, our own past to deal with, our own actions to make peace with and accept. We make decisions based on what we think is best and just hope we donât regret them in the future. But we also make them as a way to take control of our own lives. Even if I regret letting Hye-soo go, I at least did it knowing that Iâll either have another chance at being with her, or that someone else will. And someone did, and I know for a fact that he loves her and ___ with all of him.â
âIn that sense, maybe resigning is ___âs way of taking control of her life this time, donât you think?â Hoseok turns to Jungkook, understanding where youâre coming from now, as he knows the feeling of not having to constantly prove yourself to others. âShe finally wants to let that burden go, to live as she wishes without feeling like she doesnât deserve what she has, even if it means not being next to you the way she wants to. If you make her stay, how do you think she can move on from all this? How can you be sure sheâs happy?â
Jungkook takes a deep breath, knowing itâs not enough to process everything heâs learned this morning. Thereâs that past he didnât know he shared with you, thereâs his relationship with his father that he doesnât know how to mend, thereâs his feelings for you, one thatâs still so strong and inescapable.Â
And then thereâs the thought that youâd known everything all along. Youâve been patient with him, you've been kind and understanding. Was that all because you felt like you had to? Because heâs the son of the people you feel that you owe a lot to?
Itâs not that Jungkook doubts your feelings for him, but he wonders if you do. Now that youâre able to make that decision to leave, what if walking away from his family also means you realize that your feelings are tied to that indebtedness, too? How real was it for you? And after you find yourself outside of all this, would you still want him?
The thoughts make his heart break, and this tells him that after knowing everything, he still canât deny what he feels about you. He still wants you just as much. Maybe the familiarity he always felt was because you are familiar. Maybe the connection was because of a painful past you both share, of a kind of pain you both understand. Maybe the intensity of feelings is a remnant from his childhood, one thatâs tied to yours in a serendipitous way.Â
Heâd like to think that even without knowing, you held out for him. You couldâve chosen to leave anytime before he came but you didnât, and your paths crossed this way and he convinces himself that you were always meant to meet each other, that you were always meant to make up for how intertwined and unfortunate your lives are. You never met then but this time, when you did, it meant so much more. He could only hope that itâs something you hold onto as well, and that when you decide to finally walk away, it doesnât mean you walk away from him completely, too.Â
âKook, I know thereâs a lot to think about but you have to get going,â Hoseok disrupts his thoughts. âYour father still wants us at that lunch. I know grandfather would, too.â
âYou should go ahead, Hoseok,â Mr. Ri says. âJust make an excuse to your uncle and say Iâm helping Jungkook fix up. Weâll head there right away.â
âNo, tell him that I know,â Jungkook insists. âIf⌠if heâs always wanted to mend our relationship, he and I have to start being honest with each other.â
âI will,â Hoseok says as he stands up to leave. âGet your head together, alright? Youâre gonna be fine.â
Jungkook massages his temples, knowing that he doesnât have time to get a workout in and rid himself of this terrible hangover. But he tries, as he takes a warm shower and asks Mr. Ri to prepare him a cup of lemon ginger tea and get some ginseng jelly for the ride.Â
The trip to his parentsâ estate starts off quiet, but the thoughts in his head are so loud that the older man asks what else is bothering him.Â
âHow was her time in Busan?â Jungkook asks.
âIt was good. She was a shy kid but she found good people she trusted and that meant everything,â Mr. Ri answers. âI visited them often, even when they returned to Daegu. But I stopped once ___ moved back to Seoul after college. Iâd ask her about her mother every now and then. It was nice to hear how well theyâre doing, and how happy they are with their new family. Min-wooâs a good man and his daughters love Hye-soo and ___ so much. It turned out well for them. When I think about that, itâs really hard not to justify the decisions I made.â
âWill you make them again? If given the chance?â
âIf I still think itâs whatâs best then, then I would. Sometimes we make decisions because of the other person, not exactly for ourselves. Sometimes thatâs how we realize just how much we love them, you know? When their happiness trumps our own.â
Jungkook merely hums. While he doesnât think heâs at that point with you, he cares enough to want you to have that chance to find your happiness, in whatever form that may be. And if leaving the company is what it takes, then he knows you deserve that and more. It doesnât change the fact that he wishes you can search for it while being with him, but perhaps itâs better if you find your way back to him instead. Heâll at least know you chose him, and not because you felt like you owed it to him to stay.
They make it to his parentsâ estate over an hour late. The guests have arrived and Jungkook greets them before finding his father. When their eyes meet, thereâs a look of sadness in the elder manâs eyes. Perhaps itâs understanding; maybe itâs an apology.
His mother gives him a long and tight hug, one that he savors for the first time in a long while. He remained distant from his parents after he decided to pursue further studies and then work in their office abroad. Itâs a relationship heâs still navigating. While his mother has always been present and affectionate, Jungkook is the one who stopped reciprocating. It just seemed easier that way, but he realizes that heâs missed her warmth after taking it for granted all these years.Â
The lunch gathering lasts for a few hours. Jungkook tries to pay attention to the conversations since engaging requires too much from him, especially after the morning heâs had. But his father doesnât reprimand him this time, and for that, heâs thankful. Hoseok keeps him on his toes though, but Jungkookâs mind constantly wanders towards you. He wonders how you got home last night, if you managed to get some rest, and if youâre spending your time being angry at him or if, by any chance, youâre missing him like heâs missing you.
Itâs 5 PM by the time the last guest leaves, and with Hoseok and A-yeong needing to attend a dinner party, Jungkook is left to speak with his parents alone.Â
âI heard you know the truth now,â his father says as he sits across from Jungkook in the garden. âIâm sorry I kept it from you.â
âDid you intend for me not to know and find out from someone else?â Jungkook asks.Â
â___ applied to the company with the intention of contributing in a small way,â his father says. âShe made it without any say from me and thatâs a testament to her skills and capabilities. When we met after her first day, she asked that she not be treated any differently, and I agreed. I stayed true to my word and I kept my distance, but when I heard about how Mrs. Byun treated her, I knew I couldnât just stand back. I encouraged her to apply for the EA position, knowing that she would be treated well. And with that, she asked me not to say who she is - not to Hoseok, and especially not to you. Thatâs not how she wants to be known. And I always respected her request.â
âDoes it make any difference, son?â His mother asks. âDoes knowing who she is to our family change the way you see her?â
âNo, but it makes me wonder how sheâd seen me all this time,â Jungkook says. âShe put up with me despite how I treated her. She was kind even if I was distant. She⌠she let me open myself up and thatâs⌠thatâs why I like her. That's why I asked her to be with me.â
The surprise on his parentsâ faces is immediate, but they stay calm, and itâs what prompts him to continue.
âI just hate to think that she suffered all that time because she still felt like she owed us. If you asked her to stay and help me, she wouldnât have been able to turn you down. And what if⌠sheâs confused her feelings for me for just⌠gratitude towards you?â
âOh, my dear son,â his mother sighs, taking his hand as a form of comfort. âWe are so sorry that all this has caused you to doubt her sincerity but if thereâs one thing we know about ___ is that sheâs genuine, and if you felt cared for by her, then she meant all that.â
âYes, I did ask her to help you, because I knew that if there was someone who could get through to you, it would be her,â his father says this time.
âSo you took advantage of her? Because you knew sheâd do what youâd ask,â Jungkook huffs.
âI did that because I knew that she would care, that she would understand. Thinking about it now, perhaps I asked for too much,â the elder man shakes his head. âSheâs a lot like her mother, and Iâve come to realize that youâre a lot like me. I needed someone like Hye-soo and somehow I just knew that you needed someone like ___. Both of you opening up and finding comfort in each other just happened, I suppose, and thatâs not such a bad thing, is it?â
âI donât know. Because now, she doubts what I feel and Iâm not sure about what she feels, too,â Jungkook admits, letting his own insecurities get the better of him. He hates that heâs started to doubt you as well.Â
âIf it matters, Iâve seen how she is with you. She cares about you, she worries about you. And the way you respond to her just means that your heart feels her sincerity, too,â his father responds. âDonât let anger or fear taint that for you.â
âArenât you mad about what happened?â Jungkook wonders. âSheâs my assistant and I ended up crossing a line. I kissed her. In my office.â
âPerhaps I should be,â his father hums. âBut with her planning on resigning, I suppose youâre already feeling a lot of emotions about that. I donât want to add anymore. Youâre an adult and you know that your actions have consequences. You just have to deal with them now. And donât ever do that again.â
Thereâs no anger in his fatherâs words. In fact, thereâs comfort that Jungkook has never heard before. It suspends his worries only for a short moment, as heâs reminded that you indeed plan on leaving. When that is, he doesnât know. But heâs gonna have to start dealing with your loss just as he needs to deal with his feelings for you. Itâs all too complicated; getting together despite what you both feel isnât that simple. Your happiness comes first. He knows he cares so much that itâs what he wants you to focus on.Â
âLetting her go now doesnât mean you have to let her go for good,â his mother tells him. âSheâll choose you if thatâs what her heart says. And at least then, youâll know for sure that she still wants you after everything.â
Jungkookâs parentsâ words echo in his mind for the rest of Saturday that he spends in his living room, choosing wine as his companion for the evening. Thereâs no intention of getting hammered unlike the night before though. The drink calms him down and allows him to have proper sleep this time. He spends the most of his Sunday in bed, thinking about you, then attempting to remove you from his mind.Â
Not wanting to deal with any more tension, he instructs Mr. Ri that Monday to just drive you straight to the office. Jungkook arrives and sees you stand up to greet him as he walks through the hallway, and he responds with a nod as his own greeting before heading straight to his room.
Thereâs that feeling again - of missing you, of hoping he could fix things but not knowing how, of wanting to ask you to stay but knowing he has to let you go, and of wishing that when he does, youâll find your way back to him again. He shakes off the thoughts during that short walk to his desk, feeling himself weaken with every moment that he spends far away from you.
Jungkook takes his seat and sighs as another day starts without his usual routine. Knowing he has no other choice, he pushes on. From his periphery, he sees you glancing at him through the window, and a part of him wishes itâs your attempt at seeing if you could speak with him, maybe ask if you could talk about what happened later on or about what he now knows about you. Or anything, really. He just wants to hear your voice again. Hopefully see your smile. Despite all his doubts about you, the emptiness he feels tells him that nothingâs changed - what he feels for you is real, and he might not know whatâll happen next, but he at least knows that what he wants is to be with you; he hopes heâll figure out how to do that with you.
He sees you glance at him again and it sparks a bit of hope. That is, until he spots the envelope on his desk, and inside it, your resignation letter.
He tries to act unaffected as he reads what youâve written. Itâs straight to the point, as you narrate your journey in the company, having started as an intern and then working in logistics before finding your footing as the Vice Presidentâs assistant. You list the skills youâve developed and other things youâve learned but that you think itâs time to venture into something new and different, noting how youâll take all your experiences with you in this new stage of your life.Â
You thank him for his guidance, and he almost breaks towards the end when you mention the Arts Center. You apologize for leaving before its completion, but youâre thankful because it allowed you to appreciate the beauty of things, that it made you understand the value of meaning and connection, and that his passion for it pushed you to find something that you want to be passionate about, too. Youâve given him something, and now he knows that in his own way, heâs given something to you, too.Â
You type away on your desktop while not-so-discreetly peeking into Jungkookâs office to see his reaction to your letter. Your plan was to resign after the Arts Center was launched, knowing how big of a project it is that needs all of Jungkookâs attention. He canât be distracted, and a part of you scolds yourself for being selfish about deciding to do this now.Â
But you also knew that you couldnât delay it any longer. After what happened last Friday, you didnât know how you could face him again, especially now that he knows everything. It didnât feel right to continue on, not just because of your feelings but because you crossed a line - you kissed and did all that in his office. That itself is unacceptable; it almost feels like a betrayal to his family, whom youâll have to painfully say goodbye to as well.Â
Mr. Ri visited you yesterday to give you comfort, knowing that youâd choose to go through this on your own again. Jungkook was devastated but was worried about you more than anything, you were told, and somehow that made the decision less difficult but still painful to make. You donât know if heâll ever truly understand, especially if finding yourself means letting him go despite the happiness he gives you.Â
Itâs not everyday you find someone you feel so much for, but then again, human beings are complicated - they can want something and be scared of it at the same time; they can have the chance to have it but doubt it all the same. What you feel for him should be enough to dispel your worries about his sincerity but thereâs too much going on in your mind at this point. Right now, you just want to get away. With him learning the truth, you suppose he needs time to process all that as well.Â
Youâll miss him though. Youâll miss everything about this place. But youâll miss him the most.Â
Your phone ringing disrupts your thoughts, and your heart races when you hear Jungkookâs voice on the other end.
âMs. Cho, please come to my office.â
You calm your nerves and find the strength to get off your seat and walk towards him. Heâd been expressionless the whole time, and you wonder if heâll hold off your resignation because itâs terrible timing. Either way, you try to prepare yourself for whatâs to come.Â
But clearly, you didnât do so enough, as youâre still left speechless when he holds out an envelope for you to take, the sight of his hands that once held you close breaking your heart again.
âI accept your resignation,â he says, his voice low and firm, his eyes not fully meeting yours. âYou have a month until your last day but you have two weeks worth of vacation and I urge you to take them before you leave.â
âThank you, sir,â you manage to say, your voice soft and shaking compared to his. âI⌠I will.â
âAnd this is your recommendation letter,â he says, handing you another envelope. âYouâve shown exceptional skills throughout your tenure here, Ms. Cho. Everyone youâve worked with says so, and Iâve seen that firsthand. Iâm sure that wherever you decide to work after this, youâll be another great asset. And my family wishes you good luck in your future endeavors. Thank you for all that youâve done for us.â
The words are too formal, too professional for your liking, and this breaks your heart even more. But you suppose thereâs no other way to do it. Youâre the one leaving; youâre the one who pulled away. After everything thatâs happened, youâre the one who walked out to find your happiness when Jungkook needed you the most, and you could only hope that one day, heâll forgive you for it. That heâll forgive you for all of it.
âThank you, Mr. Jeon,â you bow in thanks. âIâve said it all in my letter but once again, I appreciate everything youâve taught me.â
You bravely look him in the eyes as he seems to have found the courage to look at you, and the longer you do, the harder it all becomes.Â
âShall I commence the process of finding my replacement, sir?â You ask.
âThere is no need,â he replies. âIâve received approval from my father to have Lucas come in as my assistant effective immediately. Heâs scheduled to arrive this week, so you can spend the remaining time you have here turning over everything to him. I will announce your resignation to the team before then. You can also begin the offboarding process with HR so that there are no delays.â
âUnderstood, Mr. Jeon,â you say, the light in your eyes dimming as each second passes by.
âIs there anything else I could do to help you, Ms. Cho?âÂ
Thereâs a prolonged moment where you and Jungkook just look at each other, his eyes tinged with a kind of sadness that you perhaps mirror, with words swimming in your own heads that neither of you wants to say out loud.
You wish heâd say that heâs okay, that he forgives you, and that he hopes it didnât have to be this way.Â
He wishes youâd say that youâre sorry for leaving him, that youâll be thinking about him, and that you hope youâll find your way back to him again.
You want to tell him that heâs all you could think about, that youâll miss him everyday, that youâll search for beautiful things that are tangible like you said you would, and hope they would lead you back to him.Â
He wants to say that heâll look for you everywhere, that heâll hold onto every good memory you have together, that he hopes you find whatever makes you happy, and that heâll wait for you until you realize that it could be him.
But the moment passes and then itâs gone. You bow once more and head out the door.
You take your seat and will yourself not to cry. You canât help it though, even as you press your palms against your ears to drown out the sounds of your own sadness, of your heartâs call of his name even if youâre the one walking away.Â
You let the tears fall, a reminder that youâd done this, and that for the first time in your life, youâre crying over losing someone, even if he was someone you didnât have in the first place.Â
Maybe you werenât meant to have him at all.Â
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It's a Match! || poly!141 x Reader
[Chapter 19] || [Chapter 21]
Rating: E Pairing: Gaz x Reader x Ghost x Soap || 141 x gn!Reader Words: 2.1K~ cw: SMUT, SMUT, SMUT, protected sex, ejaculation, voyeurism (in person and digital). Summary: While overcoming recent heartbreak, you decide to join Tinder in search of a rebound. Your friends advise to just Swipe Right indiscriminately... What happens when 4 soldiers from the same squad match with you? a/n: he's their (under)boss for a reason.
My dumbass was in such a hurry I forgot to tag my lovely @mothymunson who encouraged me to write this when I was lost where to fit it + gave me extra ideas for the dynamic! đŤś
Chapter 20: Control
Itâs been two weeks since that lazy Sunday you spent with Johnny. He had to leave in a hurry, departing on a mission, unable to tell you where heâd be going or when heâd be backâŚ
Simon and Kyle were already on a mission of their own by Sunday so⌠Youâve spent these last two weeks alone.
Itâs been quiet without them⌠And frankly⌠a bit lonely.
You used to like having time to yourself after the break-up⌠But now?
Youâve been with Leah and Mia for dinner a couple times⌠And although you love your girlfriends, and enjoyed yourself greatly while gossiping with them (and my, my, did you gossip) you find yourself missing Simon, Kyle and Johnny.
Itâs 5:30 P.M. on Wednesday and youâre in your kitchen, making something quick for dinner, when thereâs a knock on your door.
Eyes squinting in surprise at the lack of expected guests, you immediately think the worst. Itâs Ethan. Itâs Ethan and heâs pissed that Johnny and Simon fucked him up and heâs here for revenge and youâre alone and-
âSweetheart, itâs me.â Simonâs voice from the other side of the door relaxes you and you rush across the sitting room and pull open the door.
âBloody hell, you spooked me!â You say softly as you look up at him. Heâs still in full gear and slightly out of breath, as if he ran over to your house the moment he landed on base.
âHi!â You greet as he pulls off his mask and wraps his arms around you. He steps inside, making you step back with him as he spins you and kisses you, closing the door behind him.
You feel him guide you over to the living room couch and lower you onto it, making you squeal and giggle in surprise. âSimon!â Youâre able to murmur as he lowers himself atop of you.
âMissed you⌠missed youâŚâ He grumbles as he kisses you again, one of his hands on your hip, the other supporting his weight on the throw pillows by your head.
âMissed you tooâŚâ You admit, causing him to groan under his breath. His fingers find the straps that hold his vest in place and he quickly undoes them and takes it off, dropping it haphazardly on the floor next to you.
âSimonâŚâ You whisper before he captures your mouth with his again, his tongue finding yours and making you moan. Oh, how youâve missed him⌠Your hands trail down his chest and arms, unzipping his fleece jacket and he allows you to take it off him, leaving him in a black t-shirt underneath.
Your hands trail down lower, finding the utility belt at his waist. Your fingers just barely graze the thick, hard bulge in his cargo pants as you try to undo his belt, but one of his hand sharply stops you by gripping your wrist with three fingers.
You pull back from the kiss, the two of you out of breath. Your eyebrows are lowered in concern and your eyes softened. âWhat?â You asked him softly.
âIâm not-â He trailed off for a moment and huffed before burying his face in your neck. âNot ready for that.â He told you softly. âMy body isnât⌠I donât want you toâŚâ
âOhâŚâ You said, a bit surprised. You had noticed his reaction had been the same he used to have whenever you touched his mask in the past⌠And if back then you didnât probe, you certainly wouldnât now. âOkay.â You told him.
âCan we justâŚâ He trailed off and slowly grabbed your waist with his hand, grinding his crotch lightly against yours. It jostled you a bit and you bit your lip.Â
âYeah⌠we can dry-hump, SimonâŚâ You told him in a reassuring tone, which only made him groan again and hump against you once more.Â
You wrapped your arms around his shoulder and neck as he fixed his grip on you and rubbed his bulge against your body in the thin lounge pants you had changed into after work.
Just as youâre just starting to kiss again, with Simon murmuring more sweet nothings of how much he missed you, thereâs a new knocking on the door. Simon groaned in complaint and buried his face in your neck again.
âBloody fuckinâ hell⌠Heâs fast.â Simon grumbled and pushed up to his feet, sliding off you and helping you sit up.
âWhoâŚ?â You asked, a bit light-headed from the intense make-out session.
âKyle.â He complained as he fixed his bulge in his pants with his hand, while waddling his way over to the door and throwing it open.
âYou sneaky bastard.â Kyle said to Simon and pointed a finger at him while coming into the flat.
âHi, KyleâŚâ You said softly, receiving a âHi, lovieâ in response as he took off his shoes.
Kyleâs also out of breath but, unlike Simon, heâs changed clothes. âGuess what, Simon here waited until I got in the shower before he ran off to come see you. Left me stranded back at base!â
You canât help but giggle as Simonâs scarred mouth morphs into a smug, proud-of-himself smirk. âOops.â He said.
Kyle gave the two of a you a once over. âAh⌠I see. Someone was⌠eager, huh?â He teases and uses his chin to point at the obvious bulge in Simonâs pants.
The younger man moves over to the couch and stands behind it before kissing you on the lips just as hard as Simon did, taking your breath away and making your shoulders sag as you sigh in delight at the feeling of his warm mouth on yours.
Pulling back, Kyle licks his lips and winks at you. âGood thing I got here when I did, hm?â He teases and looks at Simon before returning his gaze to you. âNow we can really get the party startedâŚâ He adds.
-
âOh⌠Oh, fuckâŚâ You whine at the top of your lungs, your eyes rolling back with each thrust inside of you.
Kyleâs lying on the bed under you, his thighs spread as he has you in a full nelson. His hands hold you behind your neck, fingers intertwined, your knees hooked up on his forearms to keep you spread open.
Kyleâs big. Really big. More than you expected. Considering the only points of comparison youâve got are John and Ethan⌠Itâs not like either of them was exactly small, but Kyleâs constantly bottoming out inside you without having to throw his whole weight into it. Heâs also perfect shaved, not an inch of hair on him⌠anywhere. Other than his face, of course.
Your bodies are slick with sweat and your moans and his grunts and groans echo in the bedroom. You can barely keep your eyes open and if it werenât the fact Simon in your field of view, youâd have given up altogether.
Simonâs sitting across from you and Kyle, having cleared your clothesâ chair and taken a seat in it, watching you and Kyle with keen eyes⌠His large, rough hand is wrapped around his own cock, a long one, the tip red and angry. He strokes it slowly, almost lazily, as he watches you get properly fucked by Kyle.
Unlike John (and Johnny, as you found out during your bath), Simon and Kyle are both cut⌠And Simon has something that you didnât expect. Piercings. A Jacobâs ladder, youâre pretty sure itâs called. Four barbells stacked on the underside of his shaft, which he only leaves visible for a few seconds every time his fingers uncover it.
Considering Kyleâs stayed quiet about it, youâre pretty sure he hasnât spotted them, either from having his own eyes closed, or because youâre in the way. Either way, you donât mind it, at all, that you get the view all to yourself, even for just a second.
The sight of Simon sat there, legs spread, his cock on display, his big hands and strong arms moving slowly as he watches you and Kyle is an amazing one⌠And hearing Kyle losing his mind behind you, too into the moment to succeed at any amount of dirty talk or at saying anything coherent just makes it better.
âFuck⌠Yeah⌠Fuck⌠You feel⌠Bloody fuckinâ âellâŚâ Kyle grunts behind you as he keeps rocking his hips against your ass, making sure to plunge hard and deep inside you, not giving you time to breath before heâs bottoming out again, the pace unforgivingly fast.
You watch closely as Simon stops for a moment and shifts around on the chair heâs sitting on before pulling out his phone. He lets out a chuckle as he looks at the screen, then, he fidgets around with it for a moment, texting someone.
Itâs barely a minute later when you hear the signature sound of a FaceTime call blasting from the phoneâs speakers. Simon accepts it and aims the back camera at you and Kyle.
âSay hi to Johnny, sweetheart.â Simon demands, his tone surprisingly bossy, as he goes back to stroking his large cock.
âH-Hi, JohnnyâŚ!â You whine aloud, just barely able to speak without melting, your mind slowly emptying of all thoughts beside the feeling of Kyle inside you and Simon masturbating across from you.
Your breath is ragged as Kyle speeds up his thrusts even more, his grip on the back of your neck tightening and tensing up, his hips moving so erratically that it makes you squeal louder. âKyle! OH FUCK!â You whine, eyes rolling back and your face wincing lightly from desperation.
âSlow down, Kyle.â Simon demands. âSlow and deep.â He adds. You hear Kyle grunt and he murmurs something incomprehensible in response as he does what heâs told. His motions slow and become more paced and calm as Kyle himself tenses up underneath you.
You notice how Kyleâs thighs tense up, his veins bulging and throbbing as he controls himself not to squirm, clearly trying his best not to lose it and to obey what Simon says.
âMmm⌠thatâs it⌠Thatâs itâŚâ Simon praises, his eyes going back and forth between the sight of you and Kyle, and Johnny on his phone. âNice and slow, KyleâŚâ He continues saying.
Kyle quakes underneath you, his breath getting a bit more ragged and you swear you hear him gulp down as he tries to be good for Simon and for you.
âJohnnyâs enjoying it, arenât you, Johnny?â He speaks to the phone. You canât hear the reply from the Scot, but considering how Simonâs chuckling, the answer seems to be a yes.
âSimon⌠FuckâŚâ Kyle grunts. âThis is⌠t-torture!â Heâs able to get out, his thighs twitching and his arms tightening their hold on the back of your legs. âIâm going to- Fuck!â He grunts.
âGo on, pretty boy.â Simon teases. Something about the look in his eye, the little mischievous smirk on his lips⌠God, for someone whoâs afraid of being touched, he sure knows what the fuck heâs doing⌠Itâs almost intoxicating, the way heâs exerting control on everyone in the room and even Johnny over the phone.
You can feel the knot in your stomach tightening more and more as you experience all these feelings at once, your mind steadily clearing of any thoughts other than the prickling of stars in the corner of your eyes and the heat increasing more and more.
âAaah-â Kyle hisses as he keeps moving slowly and deeply, gritting his teeth behind your back and huffing through his nose with barely restricted euphoria. âFuck⌠FuckâŚâ He grunts.Â
âF-FUCK!â His voice shouting as he loses his composure and buries himself to the hilt inside you with a sharp motion of his hips⌠and another⌠and another⌠Completely disregarding Simonâs commands to go slow⌠And it makes your eyes roll as your orgasm hits, causing you to shudder and twitchâŚÂ
But, instead of moaning his name, you find yourself moaning Simonâs, your head unable to dip back due to Kyleâs grip on it, and forcing you to stare right at Simon as you fall over the edge of your climax.
Behind you, Kyle is losing his own mind, spilling his come in the confines of the condom⌠And you watch through a lidded, barely-aware gaze, as after a few more strokes, Simonâs cock throbs and twitches⌠before a few ropes of cum shoot in quick succession all over his lower stomach, which he had the presence of mind to lift his t-shirt out of.
The bedroom falls into complete silence as Kyle pulls out and slowly lets go of you, carefully helping get you out of the strained position thatâll likely leave your legs and joints sore the next few days.
âGood job...â Simon breaks the silence as he tries to catch his breath, his head dipped back against the wall behind him, his eyes lazily trailing the sight of you and Kyle on the bed, and then back to Johnny on the phone.
âBloody fuckinâ hellâŚâ You can finally hear Johnny speak through the speakers now that the room is silent. âYou lot better repeat that when Iâm not overseas and can join inâŚ!â He quips, drawing laughter out of all of you.
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Teen Villain Alliance
Chapter 1 - Damian
Despite his proficiency in the skill, Damian hated spying on the Teen Villain Alliance.Â
Having appeared two years ago in alliance with Klarion Bleak, the Teen Villain Alliance, or TVA, quickly made themselves known as little more than pests, often rushing in to assist other young adult criminals or harass Justice League officials. Father wanted to investigate when they first appeared, but with Toddâs reveal and Damian himself coming to take his place as Robin, heâd been⌠busy.Â
Which allowed the TVA to flourish into a respected criminal enterprise. No vault was safe, no hero strong enough. A group had even banded together to take down Superman! And while there was no lasting damage other than some bizarre markings on the Kryptoianâs face, it was enough to prove these teenagers as a threat.Â
Damian, as much as it galled him, was not the first chosen to infiltrate. Martian Manhunter, shapeshifted into a meta fourteen-year-old girl, tried and was identified as a hero on sight. The Teen Titans and Young Justice got closer, actually able to talk to the villains about joining, but âit was like they could smell the hero on us,â Beast Boy had explained. âI don't know how else to explain it.â
Most likely, the TVA kept tabs on the Justice League and affiliated organizations. They needed someone fresh, someone who wasnât a hero.
Damian had been more than willing to volunteer.Â
Introducing himself as Damian Al Ghul, the recently escaped Heir to the Demon Head, heâd been accepted immediately despite having approached the group mid-heist. All he had to do was extrapolate about how Grandfatherâs assassins were chasing him, and the Wolfâa designation given to the members of the TVAâs inner circleâallowed him to join, but he was forced to stay with the hacker of the group while the heist commenced with no interference from a hero.
Damian had been confident. Heâd gotten so far in mere minutes when a member of the Justice League, and even Drake, couldnât get past the first few questions. Heâd have the Teen Villain Alliance dismantled within the week.
Then Manson, as the Wolf had introduced herself, took out a device that transported them all to another dimension. Which was where the main base of the Alliance was. And none of his communication devices or trackers worked there.Â
Damian had only been able to update the Justice League a few times since his tenure as a spy began. Superman had reassured him it was fine, that there had been plenty of missions were communication was infrequent, but after a month of living in the TVA Base in the Infinite Realms, Damian hated not being able to contact his father easily. And in return, Father and Drake had taken to interrogating him for as long as possible the couple of times he was outside Headquarters.Â
(Phantomâs Haunt is what the TVA members called it. It was Phantom Darkâs home that he opened up to them all. Damian didnât know how to feel about that.)
Damian had only been able to contact Father three times in his four weeks undercover, each time on a supply run⌠which was essentially just a grocery trip for the Haunt. The first time Damian had slipped away to the bathroom and called, Father had been⌠furious. Heâd thought Damianâs lack of updates was on purpose. It had been five minutes before Damian could correct him.Â
He wished Grayson had answered during any of his updates, but he was on a mission in space and wouldnât be back for another two weeks.Â
In those four months, Damian was still the newest member, and had yet to be involved in the truly illegal aspects of the organization. All the information heâd gathered purely administrative, like how Duulaman, a reincarnated pharaoh turned hacker, stole money from various billionaires and government organizations to fund their plans. Heâd yet to be involved with anything serious.Â
He wasnât allowed on serious missions either. He only had the supply runs to look forward to, and those only occurred once a month.Â
His other objective, to undermine the Teen Villain Alliance and spur a mutiny, was also going poorly. The children he surrounded himself with were fanatically loyal to the Alliance, citing Phantom and his harem as the reason they were alive today. Even those who werenât directly rescued were loyal. One such child, a boy named Kyd Wyckyd, had confessed to turning to a life of crime due to his terrifying meta abilities and their effects on his appearance.Â
But the TVA took him in after the collapse of HIVE Academy. He hadnât participated in a crime since, preferring to work with the Wolf named Jasmine who led individual and group therapy sessions for the villains. Jasmine had tried multiple times to convince her therapy sessionsâmore like brainwashing sessionsâbut Damian had stayed strong in the face of adversary.Â
Unfortunately, there didnât seem to be much more Damian could do. He tried to push, to get involved with the criminal aspect of the organization, but the Wolves blocked him at every turn, saying he was âtoo young.â That he needed âstabilityâ and to ârely on them to keep him safe.â
Perhaps Damian oversold the danger of the League of Assassins.Â
For now, Damian hid in his room in Phantomâs Haunt. His castle. Even the magnificence of the compound he grew up in couldnât compare to the headquarters. There were an infinite number of roomsââas many as we need,â Phantom had told himâthat changed based on the userâs preferences. Right now, Damianâs room looked like a cave. The Batcave, to be precise, though he didnât allow references to his Father and legacy.Â
He was hiding because Manson had suggested he attend some of the classes held in the librariesâthere were four libraries at the moment. Classes were taught by ghosts under Phantomâs control and werenât mandatory, but âeveryoneâs worried about the lack of structure in your life.â
He tried to tell himself it was because he didnât want to be brainwashed by Phantomâs lackeys, and that he already knew everything they were going to teach. But in truth⌠Damian was anxious. Attending school at the Haunt felt too permanent, too much like he was planning to stay. He hadnât gotten the choice to attend school back in Gotham, with Father acting like he would compromise their identities around children. He wasnât that petty.Â
Someone knocked on his door. âDamian? Are you inside?âÂ
Sighing, Damian stood up and opened the door. âDr. Fenton. Am I needed for anything?â
Dr. Daniel Fenton was another Wolf, another member of the harem Phantom had built around him, twenty years old and not an actual doctor but everyone called him that anyway. While Damian had yet to see Fenton and Phantom in the same place, Damian was keeping a detailed record of how the Wolvesâ polyamourous relationship worked. Phantom and Fenton both dated Manson and Duualman, though they didnât seem to be dating each other or Jasmine. Klarion often inserted himself into those relationships for hugs and hand-holding, but only seemed to kiss Jasmine.Â
âActually, yes.â Damianâs lips parted in surprise. âI wanted to talk to you about something down in my lab. Would you join me?â
Fentonâs lab was off-limits to low level members of the TVA. He was the engineer, the creator of all their weapons of destruction. Fenton had no minions, while Manson had her thieves, Duualman had his hackers, Jasmine had her helpers, Klarion had his witches, and Phantom had his fighters.Â
Fenton was alone.Â
Isolated.Â
Damian agreed.Â
Fenton led him to the depths below the castle, past the never-used dungeon and through a secret door into a surprisingly bright and airy lab. He caught Damian looking through a window that displayed one of the Hauntâs many gardens, an impossible feat for being so far underground. âMagic castle, remember,â Fenton chided him. âThose work as portals that lead to the garden too, so itâs an easy one-way exit.â
Damian scoffed, abashed that heâd been caught so easily. From a glance, the lab was perfectly maintained, with every piece of equipment assigned to an outline meant to indicate where it belonged. As he walked further into the room, Fenton made slight adjustments to his tools, meticulously shifting them back into place. It looked more like a set than a laboratory.Â
But then, Damian observed Fenton. The twenty-year-old relaxed as he put his space back into order, nudging the screwdrivers and beakers back into their designated outlines. As he worked, the sleeve of his lab coat road up, revealing a glimpse of lichtenberg scars before it was hidden again.Â
Finally done, Fenton turned back to Damian. âMy sister, Jazz, has told me that youâre not attending individual or group therapy sessions, is that correct?â
Well, that revealed a lot of information. Ignoring the fact that Fenton and Jasmine were apparently siblings, Damian replied, âI do not see a reason to attend. If this meeting is an attempt to force meââ
Fenton held his hands up in surrender. âNo, I would never. Therapy doesnât work if the person receiving it doesnât want it. But you havenât been attending any of your classes either, and Phantom has mentioned that you donât hang out with the other kids. Are you settling in alright? I know the others are a few years older than you, so it might be harder for you to connect with them.â
Damian chewed on the question. While part of him was furious that someone, especially a villain like Fenton, was concerned about him and discussed him with his fellows, the other part⌠wasnât. It was true; he was having difficulty connecting with the villains. Damian didnât particularly want to, but it would make his mission easier.Â
He chose a neutral answer. âIn the League of Assassins⌠I was the only child in the entire compound. Other children werenât allowed inside, not unless their parents did something wrong. And those childrenâŚâ
âWere used against their parents?â Fenton offered when he struggled to find the words.Â
âPrecisely. Itâs not in my nature to associate with children.â
Fenton nodded in understanding, stroking his chin in thought. âThat does present a conundrum alright. How unfortunate; the task I needed your help with requires you to interact with at least some of the others, but if youâre that uncomfortable with the idea, then I could find someone else.â
Damian stared at the man in suspicion. âWhat task?â he demanded to know. If this was a way to get more information for father, he needed to know. But if this was another trap to get him into therapyâŚ
âYouâve probably noticed by now, but Iâm the only Wolf without someone working under me. Sam has her Bats, Tucker has his Flies, Jazz has her Rats, Klarion has his Strays, and Phantom has the TVA as a whole. The others have been pressuring me to create my own group, but babysitting a group of teens in a lab where anything could explode is just asking for trouble.â
Damian stepped away from the nearest device. Fenton continued, âHowever, I think a group dedicated to investigation would work much better. Here in the Infinite Realms, weâre very isolated from the human world, so my research on competing inventors is always lacking. Tuck and Sam help, but Tucker has his own hacking projects, and Sam targets financially viable targets instead of labs.â
âYou want me to be a member of your new⌠group?â Damian read in between the lines of what Fenton was saying. Surely Father would be proud of him for gaining information about Fentonâs inventions and targetsâ
âI want you to lead the group.â
His glare dropped right off his face in shock. âLead?â he whispered.Â
âThatâs right,â Daniel agreed. âItâs not conventional and I barely got the others to agree, but Damian, youâre one of the best trained villains to ever join the TVA. Yeah, youâre really young, but you are serious and professional. To be honest, most of the kids we take in donât take our work seriously. Itâs not a bad thing, but I need a leader who is willing to keep their group in line. Infiltration and information gathering can be very dangerous, and I need someone who can keep the team safe.â
Daniel trusted him enough for that? Father didnât trust him enough to be his partner; honestly, Father didnât even trust him enough to introduce Damian to the world as his son! Perhaps he was aggressive towards the interlopers in his home, but he wasnât going to stab a civilian!
And while Damian didnât understand why Daniel was so cautious around what amounted to breaking and entering, he wanted Damian to lead. He trusted Damian for that.Â
And Damian was going to take back whatever information Fenton revealed back to his father, like a hunting dog to its master.Â
Daniel continued, âOf course, this is still a few months off from being necessary. But that should give you plenty of time to attend some classes to prepare you more! One on leadership skills, one on modern technology, one on basic magic and wards, maybe a refresher on hacking⌠Knowing you, youâll test out of them in a few weeks, but the main point is to find other people to join our team. Iâm looking for four other team members, and while I am looking for certain traits and skills, it's up to you to decide who you want on the team.â Daniel placed a hand on Damianâs shoulder. âSo, what do you think?â
Heâd betray Daniel by saying yes. Heâd betray Father by saying no.Â
He made his choice.Â
Damian looked up at Daniel, determination set into his face. âI wonât let you down.â
Daniel smiled. âI know you wonât. You couldnât if you tried.â
#dc x dp#dp x dc#dpxdc#dcxdp#ghost prince danny fenton#supervillain danny fenton#damian wayne is not robin#c: danny fenton#c: damian wayne#damian al ghul#Jazz: ok so this kid is really insecure but also really prideful so you can't ever seem like you're looking down on him#Danny: *aggressively taking notes so he can help this kid makes some friends and find a purpose that motivates him*#teen villain alliance
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Starting Over: Chapter 3 - Bolt
Mob!Bucky x Female Reader
Series Masterlist
When Bucky throws you out of the house for a betrayal and won't listen to your side of the story, you know the only way out is through - it's time to start over. Maybe this was never going to be your happy ending.
Back again! I have split the final chapter into two parts as it makes more sense that way, youâll see why when you read the last one â which hopefully I should be able to post later this week, or early next â Iâm just working on getting it right. Warnings for angst, angst and angst in this part â sorry in advance. I felt a bit weepy writing this. Iâve been blown away by the support this story has received, especially as it was written on a bit of a whim, so thank-you for all your reblogs and comments â it means a lot!! Also shout-out to the recent Variety SebStan photoshoot - very inspirational...
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You were sleeping like the dead, it was a miracle that anything couldâve woken you â but the soft click of the hotel door opening mustâve cut through the void somehow, because you shot up in bed awake, disorientated and suddenly on alert. Your breathing was heavy as you adjusted to your surroundings. WhatâŚwhere wereâŚ?
Bucky gently closed the door behind him and rushed over to your bedside.
âHey, heyâŚitâs just me, youâre okay doll. Iâm sorry I startled you. I was trying to slip in quietlyâŚâ he cooed, âI thought knocking might be too jarringâŚstupidlyâŚâ
You blinked at him, you were just able to make out his face in the dark as recognition sunk in. His features were subtly illuminated by the parking lot lights, the roomâs curtains doing little to keep that glare out. He looked tired and drained; his hair unkempt. There was a weariness in his face that you hadnât seen before. You groggily flicked on the bedside lamp as your brain caught up with the rest of you.
For a blissful moment youâd forgotten it all, from the haze of sleep, youâd forgotten why you were here. Bucky! Bucky is here! Your safe place. You began to smile and instinctively moved towards him. He smiled too, a relieved smile, holding out a hand to you so you reached for it with your own â
Wait.
Oh.
You saw the hope in his eyes dwindle when you jerked away from him, a scowl hardening your expression as you whipped your hand back as quickly as if it had been burnt. You pulled the sheets high and tight, covering your body as if you didnât like that any of you was visible to him.
As he tried to lean over to get closer to you, you greeted him with a blunt, hard slap across the face.
He recoiled, his hand moving to his stinging cheek as he stood up to his full height and stepped back, âfine. I deserved thatâŚâ
âWhat are you doing here?â you sneered, âHow did you even get in?â
He tilted his head towards the door and held up a key card, âThey let me in. They gave me a keyâ.
âWell, they shouldnât have! They shouldnât just give away door keys to random peopleâŚâ
âThey donât, just me,â he smirked.
You rolled your eyes and turned away, âYou think this is funny?â
âDollâŚâ he reached out to you again, but you smacked his hand away.
âNo,â you growled.
âI found out the truthâŚI know it wasnât you. Iâm so sor-â he sounded frantic, stuttering and jumbled, worlds away from the cool and collected man you knew so well. But you were unmoved, his betrayal still stinging and raw.
âI donât care,â you interrupted, your tone flat and cold, âitâs too lateâ.
âI shouldâve listened to you. Iâm so sorry, baby. I flew off the handle without talking to you. I shouldâve trusted youâŚâ he pleaded.
âYes, you shouldâve,â you snapped bitterly, âbut you didnât. You wouldnât let me talk, you just shoutedâŚthen you threw me out with nothing! Like I was trash! I walked for nearly two miles alone in the dark, in the middle of the night, Bucky. Anything couldâve happened to meâŚâ your voice wobbled slightly at the end of your sentence; you took a deep breath â refusing to let anymore tears fall for him.
He dipped his head, his gaze dropping, unable to look at you. âI know, youâre rightâŚI keep thinking about itâŚI keepâŚâ
âSave it!â you shouted, a little more emotional than you intended. âAll I wanted was for you to listen to me. I donât know anything about a recording, or my phone pinging, or whatever you were ranting about. I just canât believe you wouldnât believe me, after everything weâve been throughâŚâ
He sighed heavily, then withdrew his phone from his pocket. He began to scroll through.
You scoffed, âwhat are you-â
And then your voice, clear as day, rang out from his phone. Bucky held it up towards you, his face pained. You listened, stunned, as you heard yourself on the recording. It was so real you almost considered that it was you, and youâd somehow forgotten that youâd actually said it.
âJust give me a bit longer and Iâll have that one-armed pussy spill everythingâŚâ
After it had finished, you furrowed your brows in confusion, your mouth hanging open.
âBut that wasnâtâŚâ you whispered.
âI know. I know that now,â he sighed, putting the phone back in his pocket. âRumlow set it up. He put it together with cutting edge AI, some advanced tech Stark helped develop. He also planted fake footage of you on the CCTV. Took your phone to an incriminating location. But Sam caught him tonight. Heâs been working with the feds to bring me down, to make room for a HYDRA revival. He knew Iâd be weaker and easier to takedown if you and I fell apart, so breaking us up was a two-birds-one-stone dealâ.
You blinked, bewildered, a chill running through you as you thought about the lengths someone would go to in order to break you and Bucky up. You knew a little about HYDRA, the rival syndicate that Bucky used to work for before he struck out on his own. Theyâd been defunct for years, or so Bucky had told you. The implication of someone being able to make your voice say anything they wanted also haunted you. Rumlow couldâve even framed you for a crime with such technology. It wasâŚscary.
You could see why Bucky freaked out, presented with all of this incriminating evidence, butâŚ
âRumlow didnât break us up, Buckyâ, you said quietly as your words sharpened. âYou did. You couldâve come to me first. You couldâve showed me this and we couldâve set everything straight. InsteadâŚyou went nuclearâŚâ
He dropped his gaze again to the threadbare hotel carpet, unable to meet your eye. It was almost funny, he looked small for the first time since youâd met him. Despite his towering height and hulking frame, he almost seemed like a little boy in that moment.
ââŚI just canât believe you thought Iâd do something like that to you. That Iâd betray you like that. That I could look you in the eye every day and lie to you andâŚâ
He suddenly looked up, quickly snatching your hand, âIâm so sorry, doll, this is the biggest mistake Iâve ever madeâŚIâd do anything to take it backâŚâ
âWell you canât!â you sniped back at him as you tore your hand away from his, tears in your eyes. âYou must think so low of me that you think Iâd be capable of this. And all the stuff you said about me leeching off you for your money! Iâve never been comfortable spending your cash and you know that! I canât believe youâd throw it all back in my faceâŚâ
âBaby, I didnât mean that. I didnât mean of it. I was hurtâŚâ he said, the desperation building in his voice as his eyes widened, âI was just trying to hurt you the way I thought youâd hurt me. I didnât really think it. I never haveâ.
âIt mustâve come from somewhere!â you spat venomously, âyou didnât pull it out of thin airâŚâ
âI promise. I was just throwing words out and didnât care what they were as long as they hit. I just was so mad,â he sat down on the bed and began running his hands through his hair as he closed his eyes, he always did that when he was stressed.
He sighed heavily, then turned to you, âLookâ, he began â his voice soft now. âI guess part of me always thought this was too good to be trueâŚeverything happened so quickly when we met. Iâd always been content with one-night stands and casual hook-ups. Then I met you, andâŚâ he trailed off as he chewed his lip, carefully choosing what to say.
You watched him, your earlier anguish now hardened into pure rage, you wanted to kick him out â send him out into the street the way he had with you. But you also wanted to hear this. You wanted to understand what possible reasoning there could be for causing of this pain. What weak excuse he could use to try and justify his cruelty. He looked at you again. His eyes were kind, warm. But you couldnât help but remember the coldness in them from earlier. You didnât think youâd ever forget it.
âI guessâŚeverything changed. I fell for you so hard. You took over my life. Invaded my thoughts, my senses. I just wanted to be with you all the time. And to my surpriseâŚyou felt the same. This sweet, wonderful woman wanted to be with me, too. I was sure youâd turn away when you found about my jobâŚmy pastâŚmy scars, my arm... Because why wouldnât you? You were kind and decent. You saw the best in people. How the hell could you love someone like me? A killer. A monsterâŚâ
âBucky, IâŚâ you croaked.
âPlease, just let me finishâŚâ he pleaded, âbut somehow, you did love me. And I know you moved in with me quickly, but it felt right. You had a rough start in life, and all I ever wanted to do was take care of you and fix it so you didnât have to worry about money or paying bills or any of that ever again. I wanted you to sleep soundly, knowing I would protect you and do right by you and you wouldnât have to sling burgers and fries to get by anymore. And part of me knew it was selfishâŚbecause you deserved better than me. You deserved the white picket fence, a dull but decent man with a boring job who comes home and tells you about whatever shit Janet in Accounting got up to that day. But no, you had me â who stole you from that peaceful future to make myself happy. I worked late and committed violent acts. I had to give you bodyguards just in case. I uprooted your entire life. I did my best to give you the love you deserve, but I couldnât even get that right. When I heard that tapeâŚit was like the universe telling me what I already knew - I wasnât worthy, and the debt I owed was getting collected. I guess part of me always expected Iâd inevitably screw it up, because I never deserved you in the first place. And Iâm just sorry that I proved myself rightâ.
You sniffed back your tears, bowled over by his words. Heâd never said anything like this to you before, you had no idea he held those insecurities. The silence hung heavily between you, until you finally spoke, your voice shaky.
âBut I was happy slinging burgers. And I never wanted the boring guy. I never wanted the white picket fence. I wanted you, Buck. Only you. I knew who you truly were, and it didnât matter. It never mattered. You did deserve me. You did deserve love and everything we hadâŚuntilâŚwellâŚthisâ.
He nodded sadly, taking your hand in his.
âI know that now, doll, I do. I ended up sabotaging the best thing that ever happened to me because of my own fears. And thatâs on me. But lookâŚI need to ask, do you think you could ever forgive me? Iâll do whatever it takes, Iâll go at whatever pace you wantâŚWe can just be friends and see how it goes. Iâll go to therapy to sort out my shit. Anything. Iâll never doubt you again. All I ask is that you give me one final chance to fix this. Please, dollâŚIâm begging youâŚâ
You looked into his big blue eyes, glossy with his unshed tears. Your heart ached and twisted at the sight. Youâd never seen him looking so vulnerable before, so lost. You loved him so very much. You wouldâve taken a bullet for him if heâd asked. He was correct that the two of you had moved fast in your whirlwind romance, but it always felt like a natural progression. It had always felt right.
But something had shifted. Something monumental. And you didnât know if it could ever be like it was. It was wrong now.
âIâm sorry Bucky, I canâtâŚ.IâŚâ you whispered, squeezing his hand as your tears began to fall. âI want toâŚI justâŚI donât know if I canâŚâ
He inhaled deeply and your heart shattered as you saw the flash of anguish in his eyes. But then he took a moment, a sad but accepting smile creeping over his face. He leaned over and wiped away your tears with his thumb.
âItâs alright, dollâ he told you softly. âThis was my fault. Iâm not gonna force it or push you to forgive if youâre not comfortable doing so, okay? Not because I donât care or donât want to fight for you. But because I love you, and loving someone means sometimes you have to let them goâ.
You nodded as you looked up into his eyes, but the tears wouldnât stop.
âHey, câmonâŚâ he soothed.
He quickly vanished into the en-suite bathroom, returning with a small wad of toilet paper to dab at your tear-soaked cheeks. He extended a finger and gently moved it under your chin, propping your face up to look at his. The tenderness and care he showed you was what you were used to with Bucky. This was the version of him youâd always known. It almost made you forget about everything. Almost.
You both shared a small smile. A melancholic smile, a smile that you both understood meant too much had happened here tonight. Too much had changed. You canât put the toothpaste back in the tube. Nothing was spoken, but everything was said.
It was hard to know how much time had passed, but eventually he got up and moved to the door. You didnât stop him, and he didnât ask you to. He ran a finger over your trusty red backpack as he passed the desk. He chuckled and picked it up, âI shouldâve known this old thing was involved. I couldnât for the life of me figure out how you left with no clothes or moneyâŚbut youâve always been the most resourceful person I know.â
You smiled back at him weakly.
âItâs funnyâŚâ he mused as he caressed the straps, âyou had this emergency kit already to go. Just in caseâŚâ
You shook your head, ânoâŚit wasnât meant to be a kit, it was just left from where I moved in with you. I didnât-I just dumped it when IâŚâ
âYesâŚleft fully packed and untouched. With clothes and cash. And debit cards, presumably. Stashed in a closet by the front door. That doesnât strike you as a choice? A plan? Even if you werenât fully aware of it?â he asked.
You didnât respond as the silence laid thick between you. Incisive Bucky, as always. He could read you better than anyone on the planet. You knew he was right, he knew it too. You swallowed, looking down at the frayed thread on the bedsheet.
âYou are always planning, doll. Because you always had to, with the life youâve had. You always had to keep moving and stay one step ahead. We both know thatâ.
Again, he was met with your silence as you pulled at the thread. But there was no denial. You couldnât deny the truth.
âGuess we both had our own ejector seats for this plane,â he mused as he moved the bag back to how he found it. âLooks like we had even more in common than we knewâ.
He was right, again. It seemed that both of you had your anxieties and insecurities about this relationship. Both of you were maybe a little too cynical and world weary to believe in happy ever afters. His had manifested in anger, in rageâŚyours in being ready to flee at any time. Both of you had been on the starting line waiting for that pistol to fire.
But it had only finally imploded because of him.
He continued his slow march to the door, clearing his throat as he looked back at you.
âI meant what I said, every word. Iâd do anything to get you back. Iâd go at any pace, Iâd take whatever you offered â in any form, as long as Iâm still in your life in some way. Iâd spend the rest of my days apologising if I had to. But honestly, Iâd also be happy just to be your friend. Okay? So, you can call me, text me, anytime. Hell, just send me an emoji. Even if you just to talk. Even just to yell at me. Iâll always pick up, I promiseâ.
He pulled a business card from his wallet and placed it on the desk, âhere. Put my number in your new phone when you get oneâ.
You stayed mute, but your eyes followed his hand as he gently put the card down.
âWill you be okay? For money, I mean?â he asked as his hand rested on the doorhandle, âbecause I canâŚâ
âIâll be fine Buck, I always amâ.
âYeah doll, I knowâ, he said softly.
Neither of you said goodbye. Maybe it was too hard to actually say the word out loud. Speak it into existence and accept its reality. So, he just nodded at you, and you smiled back, and you tried not to think about the tears glistening in his eyes or that painful tugging in your chest.
A few seconds later he was gone, and then it was as if heâd never been there at all.
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Stumbled upon your blog, and Lord!! I was wanting to request slashers reactions to s/o squirting(I've recently become oddly interested in how each of them would react)
If you're uncomfortable with the concept please ignore!! Have a great day!
Oh I love some squirting!
NSFW MDNI 18+, gender neutral AFAB reader, racially ambiguous, Jason Voorhees, Michael Myers (any), Brahms Heelshire, Bo Sinclair, reader gets eaten out, overstimulation, lingerie, mild bdsm
Jason Voorhees
This man had already made you cum twice before he had his dick in you
The first time, he was fingering you on his lap and the second time he had you ride his face
Now he was deep inside your spent pussy, taking whatever he wanted
One hand stroking your cheek as you moan and whine his name while the other toyed with you clit
The whole time, Jason has maintained eye contact with you
His piercing gaze as he fucked into you like it would be the last time he had you beneath him made you absolutely lose yourself
You arched your back up from the mattress screaming his name
A jet of liquid splashed against his pelvis the entire time you came
Dripping down between your bodies and onto the sheets below
While Jason had stopped fucking his throbbing cock into you, he did rub your clit through the entirety of your squirting orgasm
The only time his eyes left your face was to watch the spray of fluid erupt from your pussy
He didn't know you could do that
And now that he did, he needed to have you do it again
Bo Sinclair
It was his goal the first time he got you under him
Fucks you senseless then has you ride him until you're crying from overstimulation
The sound of your sopping cunt plapping against his pelvis is music to his ears
He'll put you in every position known to man
Could probably add a couple chapter to the Kama Sutra with how he handles you
You always come out of his room wobbly and needing to sit on a donut pillow
Bo loves using toys on you just to see your reaction
Your pretty wrists bound to his headboard, vibrator on your clit, as he slowly pumps his cock into you
He's in no rush and just wants to watch his pretty little thing come undone for him
Bo places the vibrator onto the very tip of your clit making you scream out his name and sob from the intense pleasure
His thrusting picked up a bit excited to see how you reacted to the toy
Then you felt wetter
A lovely stream of squirt erupted from your pussy and onto his pelvis
Bo bit his lip holding back a low groan
Now he had you right where he wanted you
Michael Myers
You are pretty much his fleshlight
His main goal is to use your pretty little cunt as his own personal cum dump
If you get off on that then that's a happy accident on his part
Michael will pretty much take you anywhere at anytime
Your pussy is pretty much free real estate and Michael is ready to move in
Fat cock bullying your pussy open while he pushes you into a wall
He had already came in you once today, his previous load now getting fucked further into you
You were practically boneless and only being held up by Michael's hands on your hips and cock buried deep inside you
After he had made you cum this morning, you ended up playing with yourself a little bit using the cum he left in you
Your mind felt fuzzy and pink like you were sat in a cloud of pure bliss
You couldn't even be bothered with how your own squirt sprayed out of you and onto the floor in a puddle
But Michael noticed
And he knew that once he was finished in you he was going to make you lick your mess up off the floor
Brahms Heelshire
Brahms had you dressed up in some lacy white lingerie
Something you'd expect to hidden underneath a wedding dress as a surprise a bride had put on for the groom on the night of their wedding
He had pulled your garter off with his teeth and practically shoved his face into your pussy after
For a while he just laid between your legs mouthing at your clothed cunt and inhaling your scent
When Brahms wanted more, he practically ripped the panties off of you and dove into your cunt like a man starved
Sloppy and loud was the best way to describe it
But he made you cum anyway
Juices trailing down his chin being lapped up by his tongue
Again he needed just another taste
Then another
And another
His strong hands kept you legs pinned to the bed so you couldn't kick him away from your drooling pussy
Your orgasm felt like a kick to your stomach as juices erupted from your body
Brahms happily lapped up everything he could
Now he had to get you to do that again
#brahms heelshire#jason voorhees#michael myers#bo sinclair#slasher#slasher x reader#slasher smut#slasher x reader smut#brahms heelshire smut#jason voorhees smut#michael myers smut#bo sinclair smut
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alexia putellas x leila ouahabi x jenni hermoso x reader a third installment of the orgy fic: rush by @vixwritesagain [all chapters + all OOYG chapters linked on her masterlist] the group takes a trip to ibiza. alexia and r are too stubborn for their own goods mostly fluff, small angst, no smut in this part but still; 18+ note: there isn't much left to say about vix that i haven't already said but i love her brain and i LOVED writing this with her. different to any of the previous fics in this little universe, which was so much fun. give her all the love <3
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You were carrying both your water bottle and Leilaâs. There was nothing you could do when you felt the faintest brush of someoneâs fingers on your neck, which you were sure was the intention.Â
âJenni,â you hissed, crossing your arms over your chest as your bikini top fell limply down your front, now only held up by the string across your back.
The brunette laughed loudly in response, taking advantage of the fact that your hands were full and you couldnât chase her around the pool deck like youâd done an hour ago, when sheâd done the same thing. Instead you glared at her through your sunglasses, stomping over to the pair of loungers you and Leila were using. Setting the water bottles down, you quickly pulled the swimsuit back up, hands fiddling with the strings.Â
Behind you, Leila cleared her throat, and you turned to see her looking purposefully between you and Alexia, who was sprawled across her own chair, just a few feet away. Her eyes were obscured by her sunglasses, but you got the strange feeling that she was watching you. Knowing what Leila was getting at, you shook your head, sitting on the edge of her chair.Â
âTie it for me, please?â You requested.Â
Always one to take your comfort seriously, Leila did as you asked, pressing a kiss to the side of your head once she was done. She lingered there for a moment, her arms wrapping around your midsection and pulling you back into her.Â
âYou have to start somewhere, bebĂŠ.â She whispered. âLeave it off.âÂ
You scowled feeling your face heat up. Stealing another glance over at the blonde, who was now taking a sip from her own drink, the condensation sliding off the bottom of the cup and down the tan skin of her very bare chest.Â
If Alexia felt your gaze on her, she didnât say anything. You werenât sure why you expected anything else; it was already the 2nd day of your trip and though you were sharing a villa with Alexia, eating meals with her and swimming in the same pool, she had remained indifferent towards you. No more than polite words and greetings, just like sheâd given you in the weeks since your last⌠thing.Â
Alexia could talk about football for hours at work, but the second you got involved, things quietened down. Sometimes youâd try and play around with her to tease out the softer side youâd caught glimpses off in the past. Instead of returning your playfulness, Alexia would stare until you were uncomfortable enough to walk away.Â
Alexia was borderline cold with you, yet she was the polar opposite with both her girlfriend, and yours.Â
Leila knew better than anyone that it was driving you insane.Â
When Leila had brought up the idea of a joint trip with the other couple, youâd jumped at the chance. There hadnât been much time in recent weeks to get as⌠acquainted⌠with them as youâd been in the past, as you hoped to get again. Time away from work felt like the perfect place to pull her out of her shell. And though the sexual tension around the villa could have been cut with a knife, Alexia continued to treat this like some kind of professional business trip. And so you did too.Â
âNo.â You whispered back to Leila. âLeave it alone unless you want to help me.âÂ
Leila just sighed, pulling you back to rest against her even though it was much too hot. Her silence told you the conversation wasnât over, but you were again distracted by the sight of Alexia getting up off her chair and walking tantalizingly slowly over to the steps of the pool.Â
If you werenât going to be having sex with her on this trip, why couldnât you have gone somewhere cold, where she would have been bundled up. That way, the miles of tan skin and legs and muscles would have stayed safely under wraps, and you wouldnât feel like tearing your hair out in a horny nervous breakdown every time you walked out onto the pool deck.Â
â
It wasnât until later that Alexia breached the subject of you with Jenni. She was tired of waiting, annoyed that everyone seemed to be waiting on her to make the first move; so much so she wasnât sure anyone else actually wanted it.Â
âI want them.â Alexia hummed before taking another bite of her toast.Â
âAgain?â Jenni replied as she closed the fridge. âHung up on them, arenât you?â
The captain twisted around, eyeing her girlfriend with suspicion. âYou donât want..?âÂ
âOf course I want to. More than once this time.â Jenni shifted closer, reaching out to push herself up against Alexiaâs back. Hooking her chin over her shoulder, she took a moment to appreciate the scantily clad couple in the distance.Â
Alexia carefully watched the approaching figures, too wrapped up in one another to really notice. âShe doesnât. She wonât even look at me.âÂ
âYou wonât look at her. Especially not when sheâs paying attention.âÂ
âShe doesnât want me to.âÂ
Jenni chuckled softly, turning to press her lips against Alexiaâs neck. âThatâs not true. Maybe if you replied with more than one word answers, youâd see how much she wants you.âÂ
Alexia huffed dramatically, taking another chomp of her snack instead of humoring her girlfriend with a reply.Â
Well used to Alexiaâs unspoken insecurities, Jenni kissed her once more before unwrapping herself to fix her own lunch.Â
â
Maybe it was because she hadnât touched you yet, or seemed even mildly interested in doing so, that you were so desperate for her. Leila, and Jenni to an extent, were obtainable. A few words, a few kisses, you knew theyâd be on board. Alexia, however, remained like a statue. Sheâd barely spoken to you in the 48 hours youâd been on holiday, and it was as confusing as it was annoying.Â
Werenât you both passed this, by now? Apparently not. You had brushed behind her in the kitchen earlier in the day, and sheâd frozen completely, before bolting out of the room and back outside, her snack forgotten on the counter.Â
âDoes she not want me anymore?â You mused, laying with your back pressed to Leilaâs bare chest. It was late, dark in the room except for the glow of the moon bouncing off the nearby water and through the window. Though you couldnât see your girlfriendâs face, you had the distinct feeling that she was rolling her eyes at you, but with nothing to back it up, you let it go.Â
âBebĂŠ, just ask her.â Leila told you, arms tightening where they were looped around your abdomen.Â
âAsk her.â You scoffed. âShe wonât look me in the eye, sheâs barely said two words to me since weâve gotten here. I canât just ask if she wants to have sex.âÂ
âIt wouldnât be completely out of nowhere, youâve slept with her twice.â The brunette reminded you, her eyes flicking over to her phone, where the screen lit up just barely with a text.
Jenni: This is getting ridiculous. I think we should lock them in the bathroom together or something.
Holding back a snort, Leila refocused back on you, rambling away about how annoying Alexia was when she was being so standoffish. Leila knew you meant hot, but were too proud to say so. She hummed along, reaching for her phone once she was sure you were suitably distracted.Â
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Leila: With a vibrator or something. And no clothes. And me!Â
Jenni rolled her eyes, casually pushing her phone back under her pillow with one hand, her other continuing its motion through Alexiaâs hair.Â
âI had her screaming and begging for me and now sheâs pretending like it never happened.â Alexia ranted, sighing loudly when she got no response from her girlfriend. Tilting her head up, she frowned when she was met with a small grin on Jenniâs face. âWhat? What are you smiling about?â
Jenni just shook her head. âYou know what Iâm going to tell you, Ale.âÂ
âI donât want to ask her, Jennifer. I want her to want me.â The midfielder grumbled.Â
âWell, maybe she wants you to go to her.âÂ
âI donât beg.â Alexia sighed, her face heating up when her girlfriend fixed her with a knowing look. âOkay, I donât beg for her, she begs for me. And she will. I donât care how long it takes.âÂ
Jenni let her eyes trail down to where the t-shirt Alexia had definitely stolen from her suitcase had ridden up, tan skin covering thick muscle. âBut it could be so much faster if you just started it.â
âNo. If she wants it, sheâll come.â
Jenni tried to ignore the hint of insecurity in Alexiaâs voice, opting instead to stroke back her baby hairs. âShe already comes, thinking about you, remember?âÂ
Reveling in the tiniest upturn of her girlfriendâs mouth, Jenni bent down for a kiss. âAnd if you ask me, sheâs crazy for not jumping on you today. Iâll be dreaming of that little bikini tonight.â âI can put it back on for you?â Alexia offered, sitting up a little to stay close. She giggled at Jenniâs theatrical groan.Â
âBut then youâd have to take off my clothes.â
âSĂ. Or you could do it for me?â The way Alexia boldly grabbed Jenniâs hand, dragging it lower and lower on her body until the strikerâs long fingers could toy with the waistband of her shorts, made up her mind. If Alexia wouldnât take the first step, and you wouldnât either, then there was nothing left to do but meddle.Â
With a quick series of kisses, Jenni grabbed her phone and slipped away to the bathroom, promising to finish what Alexia had started when she came back. Once the door was securely shut behind her, she replied to the defender.Â
Jenni: This is going nowhere. Plan B tomorrow.Â
Leilaâs reply came through quickly.Â
Leila: Can we get more of that chocolate ice cream while weâre out?
Jenni sighed, for what felt like the 5th time that evening. No wonder her plan had been failing so miserably, what with her accomplice being so easily distracted. Leila could have all the ice cream in the world if thatâs what it took for her to remain subtle and let the two of you start yourselves.Â
â
âAmor! Jenni and I are going to the store!â Leila shouted, just barely poking her head out the door. You looked up from your book, eyes wide. Your girlfriend was dressed, not in the swim suit sheâd had on earlier.
âYou and Jenni and⌠Alexia?â You asked, sitting up fully and attempting to fix Leila with your most threatening stare.Â
Leila bit at her lip, something she only did when she was trying to hide her smirk. âNo, just me and Jenni. Bye, I love you!â She shut the door behind her before you could say anything back. You had the very distinct feeling that you were in the middle of some kind of plot, one that had Jenni written all over it.Â
As Leila disappeared into the house, you made out the outline of Alexia, just barely visible through the glare of the sun off the glass. Even the mere sight of her silhouette was erasing every thought from your head, and you cursed the woman for looking so good all the time. It would have been easier, honestly, if you knew for sure that you couldnât have her. This awkward, stunted dynamic between the two of you was driving you insane, and now you were going to be all alone with her.Â
Inside the house, Jenni was wishing sheâd followed Leilaâs lead and told her girlfriend she was leaving from a safe distance away. Instead, Alexia stood right in front of her, jaw dropped in horror. Â
âWhat do you mean youâre going to the store with Leila?â Alexia frowned.Â
Jenni snorted, leaning in to kiss her girlfriendâs cheek even as she began to tease. âWell, Leila and I are going to get in the car, and then drive to this place that sells food. And then-â
âJenni, take me.â Alexia interrupted, an unusual amount of panic in her voice. âSheâs in a bikini. Iâm going with you.âÂ
The striker chuckled, detaching her girlfriendâs hands from where they were clutching onto her shirt. âNo, you need rest after last night. You should go out by the pool, take a nap. Or tire yourself out more.âÂ
Alexia glared back at her girlfriend, fighting to keep her focus on the brunette and not let it drift over to where you were spread out on a lounge chair. Just over Jenniâs shoulder, you were staring at the door, skin glistening with sweat, long legs extended in front of youâŚÂ
Alexia shook her head but Jenni was already moving towards the front door. âJennifer Hermoso, do not leave me here.â The midfielder hissed, fighting the urge to jump onto her girlfriendâs back and tackle her to the floor.Â
âBut you wonât be alone, amor!â Jenni grinned, turning around to face her girlfriend, yet continuing to back towards the front door. âAnd put that red bikini on. Itâll drive her crazy.âÂ
âI am going to kill you.�� Alexia vowed through gritted teeth.Â
âMaybe she can put you in a good mood first. Ciao!â Jenni sang, slipping out the front door and shutting it behind her.Â
__
For a while, the villa was far quieter than you were used to. As hot as it was outside, you were set on remaining right there, baking in the sun rather than facing whatever frosty reception was indoors. After a while, the choice was made for you.Â
The sliding doors opened, and as much as you were trying not to look, it was impossible to ignore firetruck red.Â
Alexia closed the door silently, shuffling her way into the sun before pulling her sunglasses down and stretching out face down over the lounger. Not once did she glance in your direction.Â
There was silence while you took in the perfect curve of her ass, hardly covered.Â
âI like your swimsuit.â You called gently.Â
Alexia shifted a little before grumbling. With her face away from you, it was a struggle to understand. âGracias. Jenni likes it.âÂ
Of course. Jenni, her girlfriend. The person she actually wants to talk to.Â
Silence fell once more.Â
âShe has good taste.â You hummed, sitting up quickly to gather your things. It was too hot, your water bottle was empty, you needed to freshen up before Leila got home. Whatever rationalization you thought through, none felt completely true.Â
You were both quiet as you retreated back through the doors, into the safety of the kitchen.Â
For a while, you sat at the island, sipping cool water and trying to think of anything beyond Alexia. No matter which path you took, from Leila to work, family to future plans, somehow your brian would always find its way back to her.Â
You flinched when the sliding door opened, then came the soft pads of her footsteps until swaths of tanned skin stepped into your eye line.Â
âYou can..?â Alexia trailed off, holding up a bottle of sunscreen.Â
Finally you looked at her, schooling yourself to ignore the way the peak of her nipples could be seen through the thinly stretched triangles of her top. It took the raise of her eyebrows for your brain to catch up. âMe? I can. Yeah, of course.â Â
In a few short days, youâd seen Jenni take full advantage of Alexiaâs love of sun safety. Youâd tried not to stare at the strikerâs wet hands dragging over every inch of her girlfriendâs body, kneading tight muscles until Alexia would moan and melt into her. Â
Slowly, you slid off the chair and closer to her. Slipping the bottle to your hand, Alexia turned and pulled her ponytail out of the way.Â
It wasnât often you got to freely admire your Captainâs back. Bare skin dotted with tattoos and tiny freckles all the way down to where her bikini (hardly) covered her ass. After squirting a little too much sunscreen onto your hands, you pressed them against her. Her skin was already hot.Â
You could feel the thick muscle of her back under your fingertips as you committed to the task, meticulously ensuring that every centimeter was coated well. The top half was straightforward, bar having to dodge the ties of her top. As you moved downwards, your brain started to go into overdrive. The tiniest sigh from her as your thumbs stroked over her lower back made you shiver.Â
Lower still, until one hand had to curve around her hip to steady her when you dipped your fingers just underneath where her bikini covered.Â
Alexia was still and silent.Â
Perhaps it was selfish how you lingered, stroking over and over in the hopes that maybe something would make her crack. The tiniest sign that she wanted more was all you needed, but even as your hands stroked back to safer spots, nothing.Â
âWas there anywhere else?â You murmured.Â
âNo!â Alexia said immediately, twisting to pick up the sunscreen bottle and step away. âGracias.â
âAnytime.â You replied, but she was already taking fast steps towards the door.Â
-
Jenni and Leila reentered the house, both frowning at the quiet they found. Jenni was disappointed at the thought that no progress had been made. Leila was less discouraged.Â
âMaybe they are outside!â She said hopefully, depositing the several bags of groceries she was carrying on the counter, before spotting Alexia, alone, out on the pool deck.Â
âYour girlfriend is stubborn.â Jenni sighed, opening the freezer to unload the three entire pints of chocolate ice cream sheâd been conned into buying. Her girlfriend looked tense, even as she lounged on a chair.Â
Leila turned from where she was headed to search for you, looking affronted, but before she could say a word in response, the bedroom door creaked open and you darted out, grabbing onto Leilaâs wrist and yanking her back into the room with you.Â
âBebĂŠ! There you are!â Leila began, flashing you with a sunny smile and attempting to lean in to kiss your cheek. She paused, though, finding your cheeks flushed red, a sheen of sweat visible on your forehead. âHave you had too much sun?âÂ
Even your girlfriendâs sweet concern couldnât distract you from the problem at hand. âNo! I have had too much Alexia. Sheâs wearing this bikini - and the sunscreen on her back, and her skin is so warm, and-â
âYou and Alexia?â Leila asked excitedly, dragging you over to the bed. She caught the way the sheets were slightly crumpled, and how you were wearing a different pair of swimsuit bottoms than before, taking it all to mean something that it absolutely didnât. âTell me about it!â
âShe asked me to put sunscreen on her back.âÂ
Leila blinked, wondering if that was some kind of English euphemism sheâd never learned.Â
âSunscreen on her back⌠like the⌠you⌠what kind of sex is that?â She asked, an adorably confused look adorning her features.Â
You glared at your girlfriend, ripping your hand away from hers and beginning to pace around the room. âThat is no kind of sex Leila! I complimented her bikini, and she barely replied, so I went inside and she followed me, just to ask me put sunscreen on her back!âÂ
âDid you?â
âOh yes. I put sunscreen all over her back. Everywhere. I lingered and I touched her and nothing!âÂ
âNothing?âÂ
âNo. And now Iâm allâŚâ you trailed off, waving your hands around in the air wildly. âAnd itâs all your fault for leaving me here with her.â At this, Leila had the decency to look mildly guilty, reaching out her hand to lace her fingers with yours. She drew you in, closer and closer, until she could wrap her arms around your midsection, and pull you into her lap.Â
âI would have enjoyed you putting lotion on my back. It would have been very hot, bebĂŠ. Irresistible.â Leilaâs words were soft, but held an undertone that had the feelings youâd been trying to shove aside flooding back into you.Â
You shifted so you could look at her face. âYeah?âÂ
âSĂ.â Leila nodded earnestly, leaning up to gently peck your cheek. She had barely pulled away before you were moving around to straddle her lap, pressing your lips urgently to your girlfriendâs. If Leila was surprised at the turn of events, she didnât show it, her hands settling on your hips as she allowed you to press her back down onto the mattress.Â
The act of dominance wasnât unusual for you to put on at the beginning, and Leila knew very well that it would only be a few minutes before all you wanted was to be underneath her. Still, she laced her fingers through your hair, giving a soft tug. The low whine you let out gave her an idea.Â
Technically, it had been Jenniâs Plan C, but Leila decided to take initiative.Â
---
the first part of... five? 17k words and counting đ
#woso imagine#woso x reader#alexia putellas x jenni hermoso#alexia putellas x reader#alexia putellas imagine#leila ouahabi x jenni hermoso x alexia putellas x reader#leila ouahabi x reader#jenni hermoso x reader#woso one shot#woso fanfics
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HEYYYY! loved your alastor fanfic! since your taking requests, could i get a human alastor x wifey where he comes home after killing someone and she cleans him up? make it really sweet because heâs totally into it pleasee!!!!! thanks youu~~
Taking care - Part One - human!Alastor x human!fem!reader
Hello, anon! Thank you so much for your sweet request <3
Before we dive in, I have a few announcements to make. First, Iâm not sure when the next update for the "Out of Darkness" fanfic will be. Iâve been dealing with some overwhelming events in my life recently, which has made it difficult to find the inspiration to write a full chapter. However, Iâm hoping to post an update sometime this week.
Second, Iâm uncertain about how to handle the taglist for my "Out of Darkness" work. If youâre on that taglist, please let me know if youâd like to be notified about all my Hazbin Hotel posts or just the "Out of Darkness" fanfic. You can let me know in the comments, via DM, or, for an easier and safer option, by filling out the Taglist Google Form)
With that said, I hope you enjoy this post <3
Words: ~2050 TW: mentions of blood and fluff
Coming to terms with who Alastor truly was hasnât been easy. The night he took you to the basement and revealed his latest victim has lingered in your nightmares ever since.
But if it was for him, he wouldn't have shown you. He didn't want you to enter this world full of violence. Still, it was better than the countless arguments whenever he would come home late at night, acting strange, not knowing how to answer your questions. In fact, he did it because he felt insulted by your accusations - him, who would kill for you, accused of cheating. Pathetic.
That night, he was waiting for you to run, to tell the police, even preparing for the painful scenario in which he'd have to kill you. But you didn't. He couldnât fathom why you chose to stay, but he would lie if he said he wasn't relieved.
But you did tell him you don't want to know - You didn't want to know who he killed or why. You didn't need that and he respected it.
Alastor did everything in his power to shield you from this part of his world, attempting to protect you from the brutal realities he faced. So whenever he would come home, full of blood, adrenaline rushing through his veins, he would try his best to hide from you.
Usually, when your husband came home, he would make his presence known: humming his favourite songs as he enters the house or immediately telling you about his day, followed by a kiss on your wrist or cheek.
But whenever someone died at his hands, the night would be silent. The way he locked the door behind him ever so slightly or the way he would make his way to the bathroom in the darkness of the house, almost like a cat - that's when you knew to stay away. When you knew not to ask about his day. It's when you knew it was better to just continue preparing the dinner in silence or just fall back asleep, depending on the time, waiting for him to get ready and return to his everyday demeanour. This way, it became easier for you to deal with it.
Tonight was different though.
Alastor burst through the door, a rare sight of raw distress evident in his heavy, laboured breaths. It was clear something had gone terribly wrong. In a rush of adrenaline, you jumped out of bed, rushing to your husband.
"Dear, don't come here, please..." you heard him saying, hissing in pain as he tried to close the door. But you didn't listen. You peeked in the entryway, seeing him sliding down against the door, falling on his knees.
"Love?" you asked, cautiously stepping towards him. "What happened?" You turned on a lamp next to you, your eyes widening at the sight.
Alastor looked up at you with tired eyes, showing the signs of recent violence. His suit was torn in various spots, and his face was swollen and bruised.
"Ah... I didn't want you to see me like this, love," he said, his voice hoarse from pain. He tried to smile, but the effort was half-hearted. He looked down at himself, taking in the state of his battered body.
You got closer, trying your best to help him get up. Alastor stumbled forward, leaning heavily on you as you attempted to support his weight. He let out a pained grunt as you struggled to keep him upright. "Careful, love... I'm not as light as I look," he tried to joke, his breath laboured.
"What happened to you?" you asked, carrying him to the couch, trying your best not to fall. Alastor winced in pain, his body feeling heavier with each step.
"Ah... Just a run-in with some trouble," he replied through gritted teeth. "But I'm alright, love. Don't worry about me too much."
You carefully guided him to the couch, your hands trembling slightly as you unbuttoned his shirt. Beneath the fabric, his body was full of bruises and wounds, each one a stark reminder of the nightâs violence. You brushed your hand along his chest, your heart clenching at the sight.
"Who did this, Al?" you asked.
He winced as your fingers grazed over the bruised and battered skin of his chest, the pain still fresh. He attempted to keep his smile, trying to reassure you, but you could see right through his facade.
"It's nothing, really... just a few bumps and bruises," he muttered, his voice strained. "Nothing to fuss about, love."
You started to take off the rest of his clothes, taking advantage of the fact that he was too tired to argue with you. He grumbled under his breath. He had always despised showing weakness, and being cared for like this made him feel vulnerable, a feeling he wasn't used to.
"Love, I don't need your help... I can take care of myself," he insisted, though his voice lacked its usual strength.
"You can't. We need to clean these." Alastor huffed in annoyance but didn't protest further. He knew that when you used that tone, there was no arguing with you.
"Fine, fine... Do as you like," he grumbled, reluctantly submitting to your care.
You made your way to the bathroom, the warm water filling the bathtub. You jumped when Alastor appeared behind you, leaning against the wall, the pain written all over his face.
"You should've waited for me to help you!" you protested.
"Ah, come now love, you worry too much. I'm not made of glass," he said, trying to shrug off your worry. He walked past you, slowly getting into the bathtub. He hissed through clenched teeth as the warm water enveloped his battered body, the stinging sensation intensifying as it touched his open wounds.
You kneeled next to him, Alastor letting out a deep sigh as your hands caressed his battered flesh, the pain mixing with a strange sense of relief. He closed his eyes shut, leaning back against the tub, silently enjoying your care.
"They tried to fight back, didn't they?" you eventually asked, your words coming out no louder than a whisper. You had to admit that a part of you grew more curious with every arrival of his: did they fight? did they beg him to stop? Sometimes it made you think if you were just as twisted as him for not being more disturbed by the whole situation.
Alastor's body tensed slightly at your question, his muscles aching. He knew the question would eventually come, and he had hoped you wouldn't ask. But he knew he couldn't lie to you, no matter how much he wanted to keep you away from the darker sides of his life.
"Yes," he admitted, his voice low. "They always do."
You started cleaning the bleeding wounds, your mind still wandering at what could've happened that night: why did he kill them? how did he do it?
âDo they⌠suffer?â you asked quietly, a shiver of dread coursing through you as you thought about the pain endured by those he faced.
Alastorâs gaze met yours, a flicker of hesitation in his eyes. He understood your curiosity, but the truth was too grim to reveal, and he was torn between honesty and the need to shield you. But you were stubborn, and he knew you wouldn't let it go that easy.
"No," he said after a few moments, his voice steady. "They don't suffer." It was a lie. But it was the only answer he could give you to keep the truth hidden.
You reached for the shampoo bottle, poured some into your palms and started scrubbing his scalp. Alastor let out another hiss of pain as you rubbed the shampoo, the knots and blood making the process more painful. He tried to keep his face passive, hiding his discomfort from you.
"Careful, love... You're pulling too hard," he muttered through gritted teeth.
"Sorry... I need to take the blood out. It's really dried up."
Alastor grumbled under his breath as you continued to wash his hair, a mix of frustration and discomfort etched on his face.
"It's fine," he finally said, forcing himself to relax a little. "Just... try to be a bit more gentle, will you?"
You nodded, your hands rubbing more gentle as the water became red. Alastor leaned back against the tub, his body slowly relaxing under your touch. The pain began to fade, replaced by a strange sense of comfort. He closed his eyes, letting out a soft sigh.
"Love...," he muttered softly, his voice weary. "You don't have to do this, you know. I could manage on my own."
"It's not a crime to let me help you sometimes, you know?"
Alastor chuckled weakly, his usual cockiness returning, if only slightly. "Ah, stubborn as always," he said, his voice tinged with a hint of affection. "You never back down, do you, love?"
You ignored his question, your eyes never leaving the wounds. "Did this happen... before?"
Alastor's eyes darted to yours for a moment before looking away. The truth was, he had had many run-ins before where he had to defend himself. But he had never been this badly injured before.
"Once or twice," he finally answered, his voice low.
You looked at him, your heart hurting at the thought. You hated seeing him in pain, you hated the thought that on those many nights, he was here alone, taking care of his wounds, trying to hide from you.
"Why didn't you tell me?"
Alastor leaned his head back, looking up at the ceiling. He closed his eyes for a moment, the truth catching in his throat. "I didn't want you to worry," he finally admitted, his voice soft. "I know it bothers you when I come home late, when I'm quiet or when I try to hide from you. But I didn't want you to see more of... this. I didn't want to scare you off."
You wrapped your hands around him, resting your face against his bruised neck. For a moment, his body stiffened, but he slowly relaxed into your warmth, finding solace in your touch. "I know I said I don't need to know... that I don't care who you kill or why. But I do care about you, Al! And seeing you like this..." Your words, spoken with such sincerity, hit him deep and stirred something within him
"I... I didn't want to hurt you," he said, his voice catching in his throat. "I just... I wanted to keep you out of this... To keep you safe."
âIf you want to keep me safe, then you need to be safe too,â you said, your voice firm with concern.
Alastor chuckled weakly, his lips curving into a wry smile.
"You and your logic," he muttered, a hint of amusement in his voice. "You always find a way, don't you, love?" His hand squeezed yours in a gentle, yet firm grip, as if silently pleading you not to let go.
"But I gotta admit... I kind of like taking care of you like this," you said, a small smirk on your face.
Alastor chuckled softly, shaking his head in mock disbelief. "Is that so, love?" he asked, a hint of amusement in his voice. "Well, if I'm being honest... I could get used to it too."
âAs long as you promise to cook jambalaya for me at least once a week,â you teased with a small, relieved smile.
Alastor let out a mock sigh, feigning reluctance. "Ah, you drive a hard bargain, love. But I suppose I can live with that." He chuckled, his eyes holding a hint of warmth and affection.
"Al..." you said, a hint of worryness in your voice. "Please, don't die..."
Alastor's face instantly softened at your words. Your worry tugged at his heartstrings, and he knew he had no choice but to reassure you. He took your face in his hands, his thumbs gently caressing your cheeks.
"I can't promise I'll always come home unscathed, love," he admitted, his voice sincere. "But I can promise you this... I'll do everything in my power to come back to you. I always will."
Tags: @ratsematary
#hazbin hotel#hazbin alastor#alastor#alastor the radio demon#alastor hazbin hotel#alastor x reader#hazbin hotel alastor#alastor fanfiction#alastor x you#human reader#fem reader#female reader#x reader#x female reader#fanfic#alastor x reader fluff#request#send requests#writing requests#fluff
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pep reads: geto suguru â long fics
But dang, i didnt realise we were all so thirsty for geto the brainrot is so real
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â as we walk by cerialilith [AO3] [status: unknown ⌠29/? chapters] [singledad!geto] [slow burn] [eventual smut!] [nocurses!AU] #sweet, softest sugu
He only loves two things in life: the scent of coffee and his daughter. But perhaps he can make a few adjustments.
â In which the single mother across the hall manages to catch Getoâs eye without him realizing it.
âTemptations by @peachsayshi [AO3/tumblr] [status: ongoing ⌠5/6 chapters] [ smut!] [nocurses!AU] #sugu treats you RIGHT #pep MELTED Suguru Geto is a playboy. A man who's had more lovers than he can even count. You've never been in a relationship, not even experiencing a real kiss when you first meet Suguru. But the two of you fall for each other, and you know that he's the one you want to experience all your firsts with.
â Breathe Me In by lovelied [AO3] [status: completed ⌠5/5 chapters] [smut!] #pep love this characterization of Suguru Desperate for distraction, a troubled Suguru Geto began inviting you over each night. It began as a casual arrangement, but over time, you found yourself yearning for him in ways you couldnât quite explain.
âThe good morrow by @temozarela [AO3/tumblr] [status: ongoing? ⌠2/? Collection of fics] [smut!] #pepâs comfort fic
You narrowed your eyebrows as you felt your body being jolted, large hands gripping your face, and then your shoulders. Groaning softly, you turned in your sleep, trying to make sense of the voice fading in and out of your brain. It didnât sound like it was from your dream⌠It was hushed⌠low⌠softâŚ
It sounded like your name.
aka.
geto finds you after his defection to say goodbye
â Mascara by softsellars [AO3] [status: unknown ⌠5/7 chapters] [smut!] [tw!cheating] [nocurses!AU] [artist!suguru] #complex reader, patient sugu
You've never been a particularly good person, you're self-aware enough to know it. It's your only flaw, and recently you've actually been working to better yourself.
For example: paying for a 30-dollar Uber so you can take your friend home only for her to ditch you for some guy when it comes down to it. Although youâre pissed, you decide to try and make the best of it instead of get into a screaming match with her.
It's an easy thing to do when Getou Suguru is offering you everything to do just that. Everything a party entails: liquor, weed, and sex with a perfect stranger.
And Getou knows perfectly well you have a boyfriend, so it's not like he'll want anything serious.
***Porn with a little plot
â Whisper of the Petals by @nanamis-baker [tumblr!] [status: on going ⌠2/? chapters] [slow burn] [College!AU] #SO SO SWEET #sugu with dumb feelings
A mystery blooms on your doorstep. A breathtaking bouquet of white flowers, a silent whisper of apology... but it's not for you. Delivered under the name of a man so handsome he takes your breath away, the mix-up sets your heart racing.
Fate seems determined to keep throwing you together, and soon you're caught in a whirlwind of chance encounters and undeniable chemistry. It was almost as if it was trying to bring you together. â AFFECTION'S EDGE by @rush-the-stars [AO3/tumblr] [status: completed ⌠3/3 chapters] [omega!verse] #THE INTENSITY?!
âYouâve got it all wrong,â he murmurs, âbut what am I to expect from a stray like you? Youâve lived off scraps and abuse your whole life; of course you donât know what to do now that Iâve given you food and shelter.â Suguruâs fingers ease up towards your neck as he continues, âa warm bed to lie in. Toys to play with. A collarâso youâll never be lost again. No oneâs ever given you this before, hm?â
*** Suguru tries to tame you.
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bonus!
â Musubi by Penrose_Quinn [AO3] [status: unknown ⌠2/? chapters] #LOVE THE CHEMISTRY
Then there was a quiet shrewdness in the way he carried himself. You would call it cocky, but this one proved to be more poised and collected on how things would unfold for him. Framed with the anchor of his composure, legs stretched out in front of him but not overly laid-back, and his mind â whatever unfathomable brilliance that dwelt underneath â was unperturbed, self-assured. You wouldnât claim to have known him entirely though like this, Suguru looked more like himself. âBut you wonât disappear,â he concluded. âNot yet anyway.â You gave in to a hum. âYouâre really making it tempting for me to leave you hanging on nothing.â Suguru listened, waiting. His pursuit was a game of patience and you chased after the gamble.
Or: the string of each encounter was an entanglement to what brought you closer to him, twisted in each otherâs darkness, torn and tied back together throughout the years.
#getou suguru x reader#suguru geto x reader#ao3 fanfic#ao3 recs#geto suguru#jjk x reader#jjk suguru#geto x reader#geto smut#jujutsu geto#jjk geto#getou suguru x you#suguru geto smut#suguru geto x oc#suguru geto x you#fic reccomendations#jjk fluff#jjk smut#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen smut#gojou satoru x reader#gojo x reader#gojo satoru x reader#ao3#fanfic#jjk fanfic#soft suguru
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