#of course that second one became self-fulfilling because i was annoying the shit out of him

[genderfluid-druid]

Hmm.

[cheeseburgersstuff]

Hi can u pls write steve rogers x barnes!reader like(enemies to lovers trope) modern au plsss

Hey, nonnie!! Thank you for requesting this! 💕✨ I hope you like it :')

LOVEABLE

Steve Rogers x Barnes Reader

Warnings: language, asshole reader, mistakes, shitty writing:') 

Master-list

You rolled your eyes for the 10th time. Nat, your best friend and not to forget the girlfriend of your brother gave you an annoyed look.

"C'mon why do you hate him so much? He is such a sweetheart." She said, taking a sip of beer.

You looked at her incredulously, "sweetheart? He is a fucking asshole! He always talks shit…" you were about to express your feelings about him when Nat cut you off.

"And what about you? You gave him respect?" You frowned at her words, why was she defending him.

You opened your mouth to reply to her but she didn't let you speak.

"I think you should date him, it's shocking you are not together knowing each other from your childhood." You kept looking at her with an open mouth.

She looked at the corner and got up from her seat.

"Consider what I have said," she said and walked off, probably to your brother, bucky.

You scoffed, shaking your head. You can't stand that blondie, from the start. The moment that guy became friends with your brother, you started to dislike him. 

Bucky stopped spending time with you, it was always about Steve from then. 

He is coming for dinner. Sorry tiger, Steve and I are going to the movies.

Your plans with bucky were ruined because he had to take care of that cute little shit who got beaten by some bullies.

You didn't know why he looked cute to you even with his small fragile frame, he was just so perfect for everyone. So polite, so respectful.

But you knew the truth, he was a shithole, who always found it amusing to annoy you, he knew your dislike for him so rather than doing something to make himself a bit lovable for you, he started to irritate you.

Those annoying mimicries turned into snarky comments and remarks throughout the years.

And that cute little shit was now a big hot asshole you have ever met.

You still couldn't stand him. If it wasn't your big brother's birthday party, you wouldn't tolerate standing beneath the same roof as him. This was how much you hated him.

You sighed again, checking the time waiting for your boyfriend, John.

You looked around to see if he came but there was no sign of him.

Suddenly your gaze fell on a blond girl, throwing herself on Steve, who was quite enjoying her company.

It looked like he felt your gaze and looked towards you. He smirked at your eye contact. You rolled your eyes and turned your back towards them.

You were getting bored when he came beside you.

"Hey, sweetness." Again that teasing tone.

You ignored him thinking he would leave but of course, it was steve grant rogers, he never took a hint.

"Why so lonely huh? Your idiotic boyfriend is not here." 

That made your blood boil. You turned and pointed a finger towards him.

"Shut the fuck up. Do not talk to me and don't even dare to call him an idiot." You hissed at him.

Steve only chuckled and grabbed your finger gently pulling you towards him. You looked at him with wide eyes and tried to pull your finger outta his grip.

"You gotta keep your eyes open girl or else you will keep waiting for him in every party and he will be enjoying with some—"

"Shut up rogers" she yelled and pushed him away. A few people stared at both of you but you didn't care.

"Just because you were fooled by your  fiance doesn't mean everyone is out there cheating on their partners. Not everyone is like Peggy carter" you whispered those words pure-hearted but as soon as those left your mouth, you regret them. 

Your breath was heavy with all that emotions. You looked up at Steve and felt more guilty.

His jaw was clenched. You expected to see hate and anger in his eyes but you saw the worst, sadness. 

He didn't say anything just looked at you for a few seconds and walked away. 

You ran your hand from your hair in frustration. You crossed the limit you knew, you just wanted to make him angry.

Your eyes fell on bucky and nat, they gave you a disappointed look before running outside towards Steve.

~

It had been a week since that disaster and your guilt was doubled in those days.

You just couldn't forget the emotions you saw in those beautiful baby blue eyes.

You were thinking to apologize to him, it was difficult, very difficult but necessary.

But you didn't see Steve after that night. Mat and buck weren't talking to you, just a few words here and there. 

You felt like a criminal. You remember the day when Peggy broke the engagement, three years ago. He was so sad that day, you even heard him cry in bucky's room.

You remember how happy he was on his engagement day. The way he looked at her, the love in his eyes, you felt so weird that day. 

You didn't even want to attend his engagement party but of course bucky forced you. That little shit trapped you to come along with him, saying you were just jealous. 

You would have broken his head hearing if Nat didn't come between you two siblings.

Anyway, you still were thinking about his red puffy eyes from all the crying session when suddenly you buzzed bringing you out of your thoughts.

You looked at your phone. It was a text from an unknown number, with an address and time, along with a picture of your lovely boyfriend with some girl. You couldn't see her face clearly.

You frowned seeing that message. Now you wanted to know whether steve was true or not. 

A part of you believed him, yes you disliked him but still, you knew him from. your childhood.

He would never try to create misunderstandings between you and your boyfriend just to annoy you. 

"Still you talked shit about his love life huh" your inner self made you feel more horrible.

You groaned and fell on the bed with a thud. 

You decide to go to that address and then you would apologize to Steve as well.

~

It was a small cafe, you arrived a bit earlier than the time mentioned.

You didn't know who texted you and who's gonna bless you with their presence there. 

You kept waiting outside the cafe. Some time passed and no one appeared and you started to think it was some silly prank on you. But suddenly you saw John coming out of his car with some bimbo.

She was clinging to him. They didn't notice you and were walking inside the cafe when you marched in front of them.

The expressions on John's face, you would have laughed in any other situation with that moment you were furious.

He called your name with shock, of course not accepting you there. 

That girl just looked at you with confused, annoyed expressions.

You kept looking at him with anger, not knowing what to say.

That is what happens with you, always saying wrong things at the wrong time and when you have to say nasty stuff, nothing comes out of your mouth.

This was your anger.

"Who is she Johnny" that girl with her annoyingly high-pitched voice.

You cringed at her, "his girlfriend" you glared at her.

She got shocked at the revelation, "which I assumed you didn't even know about" you added.

And then it was two of them, she started to fight him ignoring you and the other people around you.

And strangling you were enjoying it. And suddenly she slapped his face. You covered your mouth with shock and to control your laughter too.

She walked off still cursing towards him. John glared at you. His eyes were filled with eyes. And that moment you thought why were you with that asshole.

Suddenly he grabbed your arm and forcefully dragged you towards the corner.

You freed your arm from his grip. You opened your mouth to talk but he cut you off.

"She slapped me in front of everyone because of you. How did you even get here huh" you were beyond shocked at his words.

And this is the guy for whom you talked shit to Rogers. She groaned internally.

"Are you fucking kidding me right now? You are the fucker who is cheating on me and still have the audacity to blame me! Like wow," you yelled at him.

He grabbed you again, this time with much more force, "do not talk with me like that" he murmured.

"Let me go, you idiot. Steve was so right about you, I was so stupid to defend you!" You hissed still fighting to pull him off.

"Oh, so suddenly Steve is all good and I am bad huh? Maybe you are the one cheating on me. Are you fucking that— 

Suddenly he got pulled off of you and was on the floor with a bloody nose.

You looked up and saw an angry Steve glaring at your now ex-boyfriend.

For the first time in your life, you were so happy to see that hit asshole.

John got up for the floor and tried to hit Steve but blocked him by grabbing his fist.

"Don't even try with me, Walker." He freed his hand with a force.

John glared at him and then you, "you will regret this, bitch" he hissed and then walked off.

You sighed in relief and looked towards Steve.

Suddenly you remembered your words and felt awkward. 

"You here?" You asked timidly. Steve was amused by your tone but didn't say anything.

"Umm..yeah. Buck called here" he said.

"And here I am" suddenly bucky came out of nowhere.

"I just wanted to show her how wrong she was to defend that guy," Bucky said looking at you still with disappointment.

"And things she said— he was saying but Steve interrupted.

" seriously buck. I told you to leave that matter." He sounded annoyed and you wanted the ground to swallow you.

Steve sighed and started to walk away. You could feel tears forming in your eyes. Bucky cleared his throat causing you to lookup.

He was giving you, go after him idiot, look. Steve lived near that area, so you ran towards the way his house was. 

Bucky smirked and pulled out his phone. 

"All done" he texted Nat. Finally, their plan to set these idiots up was about to fulfill.

Soon you found him walking on the side road with his hands in his pockets.

"S...steve" you called hesitantly. He turned around to look at you with a bit of a shocked face.

You walked closer to him. "I—" you looked around there were only a few people but still you didn't feel comfortable.

So you grabbed his hand and pulled in the corner, a small alley. 

 He raised his eyebrows at you, making you feel weird in the stomach.

"Steve about that night" 

"It's o—" he was about to say.

"Please let me speak," you said pleading yet a bit annoying tone.

"What I said was horrible, I should not have, no matter whatever the reasons were. Steve, I am so sorry about that. I didn't even mean those words, I don't know why I said those things" you were rambling when you felt his thumbs cleaning the tears from your face.

You didn't know when you started crying. 

"It's okay sweetheart" his voice was soft, just like his eyes. A worried frown was on his face, you wanted to smooth out with your fingers but controlled yourself.

"I surely was sad but I wasn't mad at you. So stop crying now" you nodded but still feeling bad.

Suddenly out of nowhere, something came into your mind which you blurted without thinking.

"Maybe you should come for coffee tomorrow at my house. It will make me feel better and—" he raised his eyebrows encouraging you to speak.

"Maybe we could take a long overdue but necessary fresh start?" You pulled out your hand for him.

"Truce?" She smiled. 

Steve chuckled and shook your hand.

"So it's not a date?" You knew he was annoying you. You rolled your eyes but then bit your lip.

"Umm. Well if you want…" you said looking up at him.

Suddenly his gaze fell onto your lips and then to your eyes. Your heart was beating violently.

He grabbed your face with both of his hands and started to lower his face.

His lips felt so soft against your, so perfect. They molded perfectly as if meant to be together. 

He kissed you softly and slowly, savoring that moment. Loving the feeling of them against his. 

His kiss literally took your breath away and you inhaled deeply after being apart.

"That was long overdue too" he whispered, resting his forehead against yours. You chuckled kissing the tip of his nose.

You couldn't believe you just kissed him. That hot asshole you claimed to hate suddenly seemed all loveable to you...

[callmefitz]

HomeBound, a TTP Fic

PSA- I don’t know how to do the “read more” thing and this is a long fic so, apolgies in advance for this long post. Also I wrote this at midnight in my notes app with absolutely no editing so, read at your own risk.

Summary: It’s been weeks since the Crown Prince of the Heartlands, Prince Wensclaus ran away from home. During his absence, he’s taken a spunky aspiring knight under his wing to distract from the pain of his disapproving parents. Although, anyone can tell it’s more than that. He genuinely cares for the kid. As for his own family, however, they are not content to lose him. Featuring aro/ace future Wensclaus, a non-binary TTP OC I made named Law, and an older, wiser, but generally unchanged Joan.

————-

Although it’s been years since Wensclaus has been to the Hinterlands, there’s something familiar about the way the wind whips at his hair, heavy with the promise of rain. There’s something familiar about the dull, incessant roar of leaves in the breeze, and there’s something familiar about the dry crunch of dirt beneath his heels as he bites his lower lip, drawing blood as he parries and ripostes a rather impressive attack to his left side.

This place definitely had never held the warm glow of home to him, but the landscape tugged at Polaroid memories all the same.

His assailant, far more used to the northernmost elements than Wensclaus, circled at a wide radius, letting limp their wrist in exertion and dragging the point of their sword in the dirt. Their face was leveled in an annoyed glare (it was rather early). Beneath their tunic, their chest rose and fell in quick succession.

“Careful,” Wensclaus muttered, “We just had the blacksmith sharpen that.”

His adversary lept back into action, once again assuming a rather bold offensive strategy, yet left their form with much to be desired. At any moment, really, he could send them toppling on their back, but this skirmish wasn’t staged for the purpose of an expedient victory.

Although they only employed a handful of successful attacks on Wensclaus, he couldn’t help but to find himself surpised by their skill level. That, or the fact that without the rigid background of swordsman training, they were afforded the ability to combine techniques in a fluid manner without so much as a second thought. It was a skill that he himself envied.

The sparring match between the pair often drawn a crowd of onlookers, as entertainment in the Hinterlands dwindled after Barrabas returned to the Midlands. However, the mist on the plains had yet to evaporate and the cock had yet to crow, so they were alone in their back and forth dance.

Or so they thought.

Through the mist, an imposing horseback figure drew closer and closer, regarding the fight with vague curiosity. She watched the epic climax, and subsequent end, as the younger swordsperson unexpectedly threw Wensclaus off balance and tumbling to the ground.

“Do you yield,” Law said with a false air of suave.

“Ah, I’ve been bested,” Wensclaus replied in a similar play of false airs, “I yield, I yield! Spare me, lest I suffer a worser fate.”

Law laughed and held out a hand to Wensclaus and pulled him up.

“Good work with your offense,” Wensclaus praised, “Your footwork has improved greatly.”

“While yours has only grown sloppier since you’ve been gone.” The mystery spectator cut in. Her horse drew closer in the mist, and with horrifying realization Wensclaus realized it was his Aunt Joan. She dismounted and strode towards the pair.

Wensclaus gripped his sword, unsure if he wanted a fight or a reunion.

The head knight in question stood with an innate intimidating posture that made Wensclaus feel like a child again. However, that clearly wasn’t the case; Wensclaus had grown into his gangly limbs and assumed a self-assured posturer, and the constant eroding factor of time had etched wrinkles into Joan’s face and dusted Grey into her hair.

“Look, It’s the no-fun police,” Law scowled, crossing their arms, yet hiding slightly behind Wensclaus. He only sighed.

“Your fathers have been worried sick for you, Wensclaus,” Joan said softly, “they miss you terribly.”

Wensclaus kicked a stone, “Thats very inconvenient for them. I hope they feel better.”

“Wen-“

“No.” Wensclaus shouted. He wanted to continue, but he then became hyper-aware of Law, himself over seven years their senior, ducking behind the heavy mass of his cloak and gripping it slightly. He sighed. Not here.

“Can we continue this somewhere else?”

——

After a whispered argument that warmed Wensclaus’s heart but ultimately convinced him of Law’s protective yet stubborn nature, he found himself seated across the table from Joan in the only tavern in town and Law sulking outside as they waited for the adults to finish up. A daunting mug of root beer sat in front of him, which was much more interesting than the steely grey eyes of his pseudo-aunt.

“I can’t believe they sent my babysitter to come pick me up,” Wensclaus began, deciding to skip the small talk and poke the sleeping elephant with a stick. Or whatever the idiom is about.

“Wensclaus,” Joan began.

“Like, ok, they have a kingdom to run, but I’ve seen my Dad pull holidays out of his ass so we could have a vacation. They could have come themselves-“

“Your fathers did not send for me, Wensclaus.” Joan cut Wensclaus off with an impressive gulp of definetly-not-root beer. “I doubt they even know where you are. Not that they haven’t been searching, of course. As far as they’re concerned, I’m farther up North to check up on a dwarf problem your Uncle Darling is having.”

Wensclaus’s face drew up as he straightened in his booth. “Wait, then how did you-“

“It just made sense,” Joan replied, “You experienced perceived rejection and to cope you returned back to the place where you first received rejection. The little knight you found, however, was a nice touch. They’re coming along quite nicely. I’m proud.”

The explicit praise did not fly over Wensclaus’s head, “I’m that predictable, huh?”

“You’re not predictable, just human,” Joan shrugged, then at Wensclaus’s face, continued, “That’s just what Cecily has been telling me. And for the record, I’m not telling them you’re here until you’re ready to be found.”

Wensclaus leaned back in his chair and stared down at the frothy mess of his root-beer.

“They all miss-“

“It’s just hard.” Wensclaus said, without emotion. Joan remained quiet this time.

“It’s hard when, you know, everyone is talking about you, like, oh look at Prince Wensclaus! He’s like, I don’t know, in his mid-twenties, and tied down to no one,” Wensclaus laughed dryly, “His parents, they were married by age eighteen. Basically invented love and all that shit. How massive of a failure do you have to be to not love anyone when those are your role models?”

“You must be pretty fucked up.” He wiped a tear from his eye. “God it’s just... it’s so hard. I’m nothing like them and... it’s so hard.”

“You love me, don’t you?” Joan said, “And what about your Aunt Cecily?”

Wensclaus regraded Joan strangely, “Well, yeah, but not like-“

“What about your Uncles up North, Darling and Percy?” Joan continued, “Or your little knight?”

“Joan, it’s not like-“

“Your fathers?” Joan pressed, “Do you not love them?”

“I do, Joan, but that doesn’t count!” Wensclaus snapped. A few patrons across the bar glanced over. Face flushing, Wensclaus lowered his voice and relaxed his clenched fists, “That’s not the point, it-“

“You’re right,” Joan said, “The point is that you feel angry because of the high expectations inadvertently placed on your shoulders by your fathers because you’re different. But to say you love no one is so... far from the truth. Love takes many forms, and they can all be fulfilling.”

Wensclaus gave no response, instead favoring the mug in his hands than making eye contact with Joan. He was holding himself back from lashing out again.

“When I came out to my father, as both gay and a knight,” Joan began, “He tried to fix me.”

This caught Wensclaus’s attention.

“He set me up with all kinds of guys,” Joan laughed, “even a pig farmer. Enrolled me in all these classes for lady-etiquette and had me fitted for a ball gown corset. I was so angry, I ran away.”

“But you and your dad get along great,” Wensclaus said, “He’s over at your and Aunt Cecily’s cottage almost every weekend.”

“Now we get along great,” Joan corrected, “But this was all when you were very young.”

This satisfied Wensclaus’s confusion.

“I guess in the end he was afraid for me and afraid for himself,” Joan said, “Everything I was doing he had never seen done before, and that was scary. When people are scared, they do dumb things, like threaten to estrange their children.”

“Why are you telling me this?” Wensclaus asked slowly.

“When Cecily found out about what my father had threatened, she marched her little sequined self down to the pub he was hiding out in and gave him a piece of her mind,” Joan continued, “After you left, that’s exactly what I did to your fathers.”

“What?” Wensclaus finally cracked a smile, “You yelled at my dads?”

Joan shrugged, “It’s not the first time. I love them, Wensclaus, I really do, but they can be incredibly thick sometimes.”

That sobered him up, “Yeah.”

“They reacted the way they did not because they didn’t love you anymore, Wens,” Joan reaches across the table and grabbed his hand, “They reacted that way because what you were describing was something they had never seen done before, and they were scared for what that meant for you.”

“That still doesn’t make it right,” he replied.

“You’re right. It was wrong, which is exactly why Rupert has written and rewritten his formal apology to you several dozen times, so you know that in fourteen different languages that he loves you no matter what,” Joan replied, “And Amir is currently drafting legislation to nationally recognize aromanticism as a romantic identity and provide funding to revise public service announcements to include it. It was wrong of them to react the way they did, and they only thing they want in the world is to take it back.”

“Wow, I-“ Wensclaus suddenly found himself speaking through tears, “I don’t-“

“I’m not going to force you to come home before you’re ready,” Joan said steadily, “But I want you to know that when you are, there’s a place for you.”

It was embarrassing, the way that Wensclaus began sobbing in the tavern like that. The eyes of half a dozen hitherlandians landed on his shaking frame as the head knight of the heartlands held him to her chest. She ran her fingers through his hair, just like she used to when he had nightmares about the Despair. But this was so much worse, because this was not about an enemy he could defeat; rather, it was the floodgates of relief mixing with the festering hurt that had been building in him ever since he stepped foot out of the palace gates. Dimly, he was aware of the soft reassurances his aunt whispered into his ear, but in his determination to speak through his tears it all was mush.

“I want to go home,” he said hoarsely, and he felt the same relief within Joan.

—-

As the door to the tavern opened, Law jumped up from the ground and ran up to Wensclaus. However, after they took in his tear-stained face and Joan’s arm on his shoulder, they stumbled back, as if flinching in pain and disbelief.

“So you’re going back?” Law seethed, “Just like that?”

Wensclaus made brief eye contact with Joan, who released her arm from his shoulder and walked off with a nod. He returned his attention to Law and wiped his eyes.

“Yeah,” he said, “I’m going back. I can’t hide here forever.”

“But they said-“

“And they realized they were wrong,” Wensclaus finished, “I want to give them another chance before I cut them off entirely. If Joan can do it... then I guess I can too.”

His rationalization only caused his mentee to spiral further, “A-And what are you going to do, huh? Just.... leave me here?”

Wensclaus’s face drew up as an emotional knife stabbed cleanly through his heart. This scene felt all too familiar, except never from this perspective.

“No, no, of course not. No. Never. You’re going to come with me and Joan,” he said, placing his arms in Law’s shoulders in an attempt to ground them, “I mean, only if that’s what you want.”

“I won’t fit in,” Law said quietly, “It will be... weird.”

Wensclaus laughed, “I didn’t fit in either. It’s not that weird.”

In a conspiratorial tone, he added, “Plus, everyone there is weird. Just wait until you meet my Uncle Darling.”

That caused Law to smile as they held their hands on top of Wensclaus’s on their shoulders.

“Wensclaus,” Joan called out from her horse, “Little Knight.”

The pair glanced up from their conversation as Joan trotted closer.

“You coming?”

Wensclaus straightened up, leaving a hand in Law’s shoulder.

“Yeah. Let’s go home.”

[borisbubbles]

17. CZECH REPUBLIC

Benny Christo - “Kemama”

So first off, thank you for the nice commens. 😇The past few months haven’t been the happiest time for me, so thank you for your patience as I scraped my bearings together for another post! 😁

So I will now extend that same sympathy to Benny Christo, whom I think I damn fucking underrated. Let’s jump in~

ENTRY ANALYSIS

As one may expect i INSTANTLY liked “Kemama” because you know, it’s a fun, laid-back, tropical afro-breeze, completely different from anything else we would see in NFs and the year. EXACTLY the type of song I was hoping the Czech NF would deliver (and deliver they did, see NF Corner). This level of mild like swung into strong unironic like upon realizing that the title is a contraction of “Okay Mother” 😍 and the song deals with the subject of overcoming racially-tinged discrimination and rising above the hate. That just feels very poetic and apt? “Kemama” felt like the entry that had to overcome the highest odds in order to earn the respect it so fully deserves, and still hasn’t fully reached it.

.In our Western European bubble, comprised mostly of gays and left-liberal straights, we have a very grateful and universal acceptance of many different kinds of [lizard] people that make up Eurovision casts. Yet with “Kemama” we may have reached�� an unusually grimy undercurrent of coded racism. 

Of course nothing I read was outrageously rancid, than Cod for that. The worst statement I read was a double-whammy of “EWW THIS ISN’T CARIBBEANVISION” and “WHY WOULD SOMEONE FROM *KENYA* WANT TO REP CZECHIA IN EUROVISION?”, and yes they first got the continent wrong and then *also* got the country wrong in the follow-up post and then they were torn limb from limb by a pack of aformentioned left-liberals. I’m sorry but i can’t not have any other response than laughter in the face of yet another fucking MORON faceplanting themselves with words like a... racist JK Rowling if you will?

Still, while I never read something outright vile about Benny doesn’t mean I found his deniers really annoying and they were! Think “Ew Solovey is ‘Too Aggressive’ it will NEVER DO WELL IN ESC”, a statement that isn’t coded nor racist (and yet extremely false and misguided), functioned as a similar idea by the same minds. A statement borne from the same breed of narrow-minded stubbornness which has caused elitist morons to be all “there is **SOMETHING** about “Kemama” i do *NOT* like and I cannot lay my finger on it... but I **DO NOT** like it at ALL. It won’t ever qualify because everyone will think the same way I do” -- Eurovision snobs, tiptoeing around racial coda in January 2020.

 They would also insist that Benny was “arrogant” because he was seemingly impervious to their (de)constructive criticism. Like, if you were a biracial butterfly living in a slavic country who had to deal with statements such as the above on a regular basis, you WOULD block out the noise. And if you heard them often enough you will start to block them out pre-emptively. DO YOU NOT KNOW HOW COPING MECHANISMS WORK?? (oh wait you’re white-privileged. Nevermind 🙄)

 So naturally, when Benny decided that he would revamp “Okay Mother” by adding in MORE African elements it only made me love him even more lol. 😍 Was it a bull-headed, contrarian and possibly really stupid decision? Yes, yes and absolutely yes. Was it worth it? Well he managed to incite even more meltdowns in a group of people I feel nothing but contempt for, so hell yeah? Eurovision was cancelled anyway so who cares how much ‘worse’ “Kemama” actually got. 

Okay, so we’ve arrived at the revamp.

Granted, it wasn’t the best ‘vamp, I’d be a fool to deny it. The new elements threw a wrench in the melodic balance of the song. Out went tropical laid-back fun, IN went that fucking guitar oh my god this is some Hotel FM piano levels of overbearing I swear. (nb: this still didn’t stop me from ironically stanning Hotel FM’s lame asses anyway 😍). However, it made the personal backstory that I loved and savoured take a backseat to the now inferior composition. 😭

Regardless, New Kemama was fundamentally the same song, and I fundamentally liked Old Kemama, so whatevs, it made no different to me. In the eyes of many Eurovision diehards we were experiencing WORST PRESHOW SEASON EVER (after three songs... lol) and nothing clinches this brainworm more than a revamp announcement. “OH MY GOD HE WILL RUIN IT! I CAN GUARANTEE YOU I *WON’T* LIKE IT”. Self-fulfilling prophecies, ya know? It certainly didn’t help when the official channel accidentally uploaded a vid with broken soundmixing (‘OMG HORRIBLE LAST IN THE SEMI!!!!’ calm the ever-loving HELL down) and took another FULL WEEK to upload the correct vid. The damage had already been done. Typing "SEE I TOLD YOU THE REVAMP WOULD BE SHITE HA HA HA” in the Kemama comment box really just is the ESC equivalent of reponding with “Actually, *all* lives matter :smug:” to a BLM support pamphlet, isn’t it?

NF CORNER

While not my favourite NF of the bunch, I found the Czech NF to be lowkey epic. Not epic enough to remember its name but regardless Czechvision or whatever marked the end of an era because it was also the last selection spearheaded by Jan Bors :o

I think I’ve made it clear enough in the past that I’m somewhat mixed on Bors Era Czechia - Lake Malawi were a toetapping good, Ickolas was a pockmarked, skin-crawling evil and the other three inhibit a purgatory somewhere between “moderately nice” and “moderate timewaste.”

Still, I have great respect for the man who orchestrated Czech’s comeback after scoring NINE POINTS TOTAL across three years with the mindset of “So what? Why says we can’t win?” so ofc I was all into the idea of the “EIGHT INDIE ANGELS, HAND-PICKED BY BORS HIMSELF” NF that would serve as his swan song.

Naturally things went down the drain the second Bors left, with one of the eight peacing and his successor cancelling the live broadcast (does anyone remember what exactly happened? I vaguely recall one was the cause of the other but lol it’s July can’t be bothered to factscheck (Factsczeck?) anymore, bitches.

Anyway, ON TO THE GOOD STUFF, and yes, there was plenty.

We All Poop - “ All the Blood (Positive Song Actually)”

Yes, as you can imagine I ofc IMMEDIATELY fell into like when I saw that chyron and invisioned the inevitability of the Czech Rep’s Rep immediately alienating every parent just based on their name alone <3 😍 w/e WAP quickly became that “Good but not great” song you find in every NF that everyone gushes over because it’s the whitest option available. Like, yes, “All the blood” is good, but musically it’s identical to Green Day and Twenty-One Pilots and god name ANY 90s-early00′s American Punk Rock band. For me the enjoyment came from the fact that WAP were openly crazy vegan fundamentalists and the VC clip actively condemns the use ANY animal protein by replacing the cattle and game with LITERAL HUMAN BEINGS. 😍 :fusedmarcintensifies: :kasiamosage:

Pam Rabbit - “Get up”

Ohhhh YES a glorious experimental Synth-Trap song only I could love and ofc I did. God what is there even to say; the provocative darkness of the verses combined with the swirling amorphousness of the chorus gives me LIFE. LUFF THIS SHIT <3333 Ftr, this was also the fave of Slovene Juror duo / synth angels / Boris faves ZALAGASPER, further proving their pathetic naysayers that they own all things music and the haters can suck a series of-

Barbora Mochowa - “White and Black Holes“

Lol, yes even with a “Get up” existing, there was a song I liked even more. Barbora proved a very competent Lana del Gay last year, but I was a YUGE fan of this year’s... Kate Bush-Björk blend of ethereal awesome. It is so soothingly beautiful and the rare example of a song that I find completely free of flaws. Were the competition not such a hard place, I’d be pissed she didnt win (at least she won the jury vote MASSIVE KUDOS to every alum on that) but w/e this selection had opions and I’m rather robbed of a “Kemama” than I am of a BRILLIANT IRREPLICABLE AETHERBALLAD. ~Danse balance sûr les white and black holes~

Elis Mraz & Cis T - “Wanna be like”

I *VERY* strongly felt that if the Czech Republic wanted to win ESC, they should have picked Elis and even now I STILL believe she could have won. That isn’t to say I gushed over “Wanna be like” because I find it kind of annoying lol. Yes, I LOVE an annoying female voice (:Tones&Icackle:) but Elis’s reaches a Camilla Cabello sort of place for me (good lord get Senorita OFF the fucking radio) and the Scat + White Guy Rapping middle-eight. 😬. However, the second I opened up the video clip for this paragraph and was immediately BLASTED by Elis murdering a ukelele and wearing a  “schoolgirl” outfit straight from a Japanese tentacle porn movie and OH MY GOD THE AGGRESSIVE TWERKING made me reconsider that hey, this min-sized Meghan Traynor actually kinda highkey owns, yo!  Yet, I’m not at all bothered we lost her in the Czech NF because we got UNO DOS QUATRO CINCO SEIS :fatmansplit: fill up the megameme slot instead, so...

Eurovision 2020 vs Eurovision 2021

BENNY RUINED HIS SONG AND NEVER WOULD HAVE QUALIFIED. jk I’m not a moron. Sure, “Kemama” wasn’t an easy sell because you know AFROBEAT in a contest where half of the people watching are fash (ie: all of Eastern Europe, who watch out of ~Nationalistic Sentiment~ 😬), but there are Kemama live renditions out there and he owns them SO hard lol. A few soundmixing issues really would not have stopped Benny from qualifying in that RIDICULOUSLY WEAKSAUCE SEMIFINAL are you fucking kidding me. He probably would’ve bombed in the Grand Final, but I mean it’s Czech and it’s not Ickolas so ofc it would have.

And Czech renewed him for 2021 regardless of the sceptics, woohoo! I think part of it was due the Czech not wanting to re-organize an ENTIRE NF from scratch without Jan Bors, but probably also because Benny owns live when he isn’t engaged in psychological trench warfare with actual human detritus <3 and also because the Czech fucking CARE about their artists and don’t drop them like a sack of rotten potatoes wtfshitprus.

Can’t wait for the moment when he qualifies and Efendi does not, etc, etc. 

FREAKY! FRIDAY! FACTOR!

I’d say that the core around which the Ben Drama spun was pretty standard fare: niche fave beats out the concensus fave, meltdowns ensue, people convince themselves it was the WRONG decision because it wasn the result they wanted, try to disown the song and make a fool of themselves because the song slaps, sorry. Even the revamp drama felt more of less generic for me, because yawn fantards melting down over a revamp of a song they don’t even like what else is new.  

However, what I do take away that the revamp was ENTIRELY Benny’s idea which he told no one about (cue to JAN BORS having a social media meltdown like he’s Caesar at the Ides of March 💔) added MORE afrobeat just to troll his haters even more <3  God, I’d say it was bad from a musical perspective but this level of in-your-face defiance is fucking iconic and hilarious, sorry. This entire this year is so batshit bonkers that the concept of a someone potentially shooting themselves in the foot and “torpedo’ing” their qualification chances  (not rly, he would’ve Q’d anyway lol) JUST to take the moral high ground in a racially coded argument only HE took seriously may not even be the craziest concept in the year! (lol it definitely isn’t. Look at the pics I haven’t greyed out yet)

This and more yield Benny some well-earned Senheads! Yay!! 

Score: 3 Senhits out of 5.

[amomentsescape]

Can you do a 2nd part of Michael travelling to the apocalypse timeline? It was so good that left me intrigued to know more!! Because as we know he's still a stubborn boy and when he wants to finish something he would do it. He sneaks onto the machine at midnight and this time he was sent inside to the Sanctuary to speak with this other Michael about why he followed this path, just trying to underrstand him.

A/N: I didn’t realize how difficult it was to write for two characters with the same name lol. I hope it doesn’t get too confusing for you guys.

Warnings: A little bit of cussing per usual.

The Truth Part Two (Avenger! Michael Langdon)

(Part One)

Michael couldn’t help it. He had always been one to let curiosity get the better of him, and this was clearly no exception.

He knew the risk that he was putting on himself, which was exactly why he didn’t tell any of the other Avengers what he was doing. He would rather put himself in harm’s way than any of his family.

Because of this, he waited until the middle of the night when everyone else was surely asleep. He wasn’t willing to take any chances in case someone would see what he was up to.

As he stepped onto the platform, he took a deep breath in to try and calm his nerves.

Although he was slightly worried, he also knew that he was simply facing himself again. If his theory was true, then the other Michael had the same abilities as he did, meaning that a chance battle would at least be fought fairly.

Michael raised his hand up and used his powers to flip the necessary switches on the control panel, quickly hitting the last button with a flick of his finger.

Within a second, Michael found himself in a dark compound of some sort. The only means of light were coming from dimly lit candles, making it difficult for him to see what was in this room.

As he turned around slowly, his eye caught slight movement, realizing who it was in an instant.

“Do you have a death wish?” the other Michael questioned, obviously annoyed that his alter ego had returned.

“I’m not here to harm you. I’m also not here to change anything you are planning on doing. I’ve had enough time altering experiences to satisfy the both of us,” he chuckled humorlessly. 

“Then why are you here?” he asked back, still skeptical.

“To get some answers.”

The two of them stared back at each other for a while, waiting for some type of sign to speak.

Finally, the prophesied Michael flicked his finger, forcing the other Michael to remain stiff as board, unable to move anything but his mouth.

“Very well. Ask away,” he responded afterwards. 

He took a seat in one of his chairs, his eyes never leaving his exact replica before him. It’s not like it would have mattered either way, however. The standing Michael couldn’t have done anything even if he wanted to.

“You’re really so threatened by me that you feel the need to keep me stationary?” he asked his evil twin.

“Who better to know my weaknesses than myself?”

He interlocked his fingers together, quirking up his brow as a way to say “get on with the questions.”

Michael let out a sigh and tried to think of what to ask.

“What caused you to take this path, to follow the prophecy that you knew was wrong? And cut me any of the bullshit. We both know how well we like to hide the truth.”

The seated version of himself gave him a stern look, clearly taken aback by how forward he was.

“Hmm, I see you didn’t lose any of your daring behavior. Before I answer that however, I want you to answer something for me.” He adjusted himself in his seat, leaning back against his chair in a relaxed manner. “At what point did your timeline differ from this one? What changed?”

The other Michael wasn’t prepared to be the one answering the questions. Nonetheless, he knew it was only fair to provide some type information.

“Our lives were exactly the same up until 2015.”

Michael tensed up a bit in his seat.

“So then you know exactly all the shit we went through? The pain, the abandonment, the suffering?” his words became tainted with venom, a clear sign of hurt being revealed in his eyes.

Michael stared back at his pained self, knowing exactly what memories he was referring to.

“Of course I do. We felt like there was no one in this galaxy that cared.”

“Except for Father,” his twin spoke out. A quick glance to the ground was enough to show who he was referring to.

“He is no father to you or to me. He wanted to use us for his dirty work. Did it ever cross your mind that if we didn’t get the job done, he would just move on to the next person? He doesn’t give a fuck about us!”

This caused the other Michael to stand up from his chair, taking quick steps to face the frozen Michael.

“He was the only one that was there! He was the only one that gave us some sort of purpose!”

“What purpose is that?! To murder billions of people and destroy the world? What joy does that bring you?”

“The joy of knowing that I was finally doing something right!” he shouted loudly, suddenly not caring about how much his voice was echoing off the walls. “I finally did something that someone actually wanted me to do. For fuck’s sake, you know what I’m talking about!”

Michael remained quiet at this, hoping the fuming man before him would calm down slightly.

Eventually, he spoke up again, trying to remain steady in his voice.

“I know how all of that feels. But I come from a timeline where I chose a different family. I saved the world. I found genuine love, and I get the opportunity to do good every single day. This prophecy wasn’t our only option.”

The other Michael looking back at him let out a scoff, not fully accepting what was being said.

“Caring for those unloving humans isn’t good. Bringing them to their inevitable fates is what they deserved.”

“And what now? You succeeded in the Apocalypse! You killed almost everyone like you were supposed to! But what is there to do now? Did any of that cure the loneliness or the heartbreak you suffer from?”

This only angered Michael more, causing his powers to be unleashed without control. The room became chaos, papers and furniture slamming against all corners of the room.

“This is the life I deserve, Michael. You should just accept the fact that we don’t get a happy ending.”

“You and me both know that’s not true.”

“Really? I choose my own fate. What’s keeping me from killing you right now? Happiness is temporary, and I can make the choice to take it away from you in the blink of an eye. Tell me, what purpose do you have besides this one?”

The standing Michael could feel the recognizable sense of fear in his gut, but he pushed it down. He trusted that whatever happened, his family at home would remain safe.

“There is more to life than just doing what some 'being’ wants you to do. I can’t prevent you from killing me, but that won’t stop the others. There are versions of us even kinder than me and more destructive than you. There is a timeline where you kill me and one where you let me go. I don’t know which we’re in right now, and neither do you. And truthfully, there is a timeline where you fulfill everything Father wanted you to do, and one where you fail. There are going to be endless versions and alterations of us, and you will never be able to stop it.”

The evil Michael before him stood there with widened eyes, noticeable tears beginning to spill down his cheeks.

“Go,” he whispered. 

With a raise of his hand, the once frozen Michael was set free to move again. 

He clenched his hands a few times to regain some feeling in them, shifting his gaze back to his broken twin.

“Go!” he screamed out again, using his magic to shove the kind Michael to the ground.

With a final shared look, Michael pressed the button near his wrist, sending him back to his home.

He blinked a couple times, only to be met with the familiar walls he had grown to love.

Although he knew it was late, he couldn’t bring himself to leave the platform. He felt more secure just sitting there, evaluating everything that had just occurred.

[myinnerroomie]

              Today I want to write for pleasure instead of business. I want my mind to be productive, but I am sick of work.  I am sick of all the grad school papers and the stress of getting everything in on time, the stress of applying for this test, and studying for that test. The stress of pretending I care about the Air Force. And for what?  I feel as if I am not doing something to better myself, then I am failing.  In all aspects of life. And for what? What am I trying to accomplish?  What do I want out of life?  The answer is everything.  More than I’m getting.  So I fill the void with military and homework and physical activities.  All of which are healthy right?  What’s the problem?  I can do more.  I am so capable.  I see that. I know that I’m not meant for this.   However, I signed up for it, right?  I’ll finish what I signed up for and move on and appreciate what I learned.  In the meantime, I feel it necessary to point out that I may be jobless in 2 months, maybe not.  The stress of never knowing what is going to happen is real.  And I’m sick of it.  However, it pays the bills (quite nicely), I’m staying in a condo by the beach (where I’m sitting on the balcony typing), and it’s frankly beautiful weather and I’ll go for a run later. It’s really my fault that I haven’t found a job yet.  I should never have relied on reserve like this anyway.  I have no fear that I’ll figure something out when the time comes.  Actually, life is way better than it really has ever been.  

I’m so free (aside from the military which ironically is the thing that saved me). Oooh.  Let’s get into my early adulthood.  That should be fun.  So, embarrassingly enough, until this past year, I have always had a boyfriend.  We can get into my childhood later, but it probably stemmed from somewhere back then.  I have never thought much of myself.  Figured I’d go to community college like everybody else, then I went to a university like everybody else.  Majored in a stupid (fun) degree.  No real regrets about that though.  My self-worth was based on if people liked me, if I felt I looked good.  I do regret a lot of the actions of that sad, desperate girl.  Nobody understood, and I was good at faking it.  I did things that I have never admitted to anybody.  I literally could have been diagnosed with the same disorders as the other kids in the behavioral hospital where I worked.  Only mine weren’t for attention and I was deeply ashamed, so nobody knew.  I educated myself on the consequences of what would happen if I continued on that path, and slowly but surely, I got better.  And sadly, I can’t even celebrate that with anyone.  Shame, guilt, fear, worthlessness, pain – what I used to always feel.  Pride and confusion with all this freedom I have is what I feel now.

I used to think emotions were embarrassing.  I knew I hurt all the time, but I was never taught how to deal with it, so I would isolate myself and feel stupid.  Actually, that’s what I was taught.  Everybody has issues, and I’m not special. Get over it.  Why did it hurt so much?  Why can’t I get over it?  Why am I so miserable?  Why am I even alive?  Everybody dies anyway.  Oh, I know how I can deal with this: weed.  Ahh, there so much better.  Now all I’m thinking about is how I can’t remember what I’m thinking about. Yeah, I should probably go to class now.  Wonder if they’ll know I’m stoned. (turns out that they did).  But I was really enjoying class then. Very intrigued with Maslow’s hierarchy of need.  Hmm self-actualization.  Will I ever know my purpose and get to the point in life where I can fulfill that need??? Nah bro I’m starving… ��You think everybody is staring at me eating these chips? -- Anyway, this is only the middle of the story.  I’m not even going to go back to my first boyfriend.  Let’s skip to the second one that cheated on me after 2 years.  Looking back now, he’s gross and bigoted. He was mean to me.  He lied to me.  He cheated.  Everything was an ordeal.  I just constantly lowered myself and made myself small for him.  He, of course, never reciprocated.  I wasn’t worth it.  Because I never showed any self-worth.  One good decision I made was to further my education and move to Hattiesburg for school which he actually made fun of me for doing. Anyway, I remember one time he had just come from the boat or whatever he was doing for work and invited his friend to our apartment.  I went to sit on his lap and he pushed me off and laughed.  I just went to my room and cried while he spent the night with his friend. That’s not me.  I hate I did that.  I hate that’s their memory of me.  Oh well.  I know they still talk shit about me back home.  That’s fine and that’s their problem.

Another reoccurring theme with boyfriends is my lack of any other friends and/or support. This takes me to my second boyfriend. I had been single for less than a year, and I met him.  It was so much nicer at first.  I felt like he cared about me.  He was so sweet.  Finally, everything was reciprocated to me, and I was happy.  I was happy to make him happy.  Again, with my screwed up priorities, man.  But I had grown up a little.  I just had this baseless fear that I would be alone forever.  But, I’m not necessarily the victim.  I did have this notion that I should be taken care of. I never expected to pay.  I expected some sort of money and to pay to go out and about.  That didn’t happen with this guy.  This honestly helped me become independent.  However, over time, he became more and more controlling. He threw me down and hit me in a NOLA hotel and the police were called.  He tore up my purse and a jacket. I remember feeling so much stress because he said he was going to leave me there, and I didn’t know how to get home.  Nor did I want to tell anybody why I was in that predicament anyway.  I thought it was all my fault and apologized and he stayed. How lucky am I? To stay with a guy that hits me and breaks my belongings (He also broke my tent.  If I ever went anywhere, he would be calling and obsessed. I couldn’t enjoy anything because I knew there would always be repercussions for having fun.   I literally broke out in hives at my friend’s house in Jackson one time because I told him no I wouldn’t come back to his place that night and it gave me so much grief.  He said he was going to break up with me if I did not drive back.  But I sure enough stayed my ass up there though. It was still embarrassing.  He threw a boot at me once because I was mad and didn’t want to sleep in the same room as him.  When I told him that hurt and showed him the bruise, he blamed me for acting that way. A few times, I tried to leave to go home, and he would grab me and not let me go.  I would be like if you don’t get your hands off me, I have every right to defend myself.  So I would straight up try to fist fight him to let go of me. He would laugh. Sounds healthy right?  Oh yeah, one time I did not do what he wanted and he threatened to get rid of my cat and locked all the doors to the house so I could not get to MY fucking cat.  So I waited until he got home and he just acted like he didn’t care at all about the strife he caused.  I think I may have even stayed that night at his house.  I hated him but I didn’t know what else to do.              

In the middle of all of this, I joined the military.  So yeah he came to visit me in Texas for graduation then said this was his vacation and that he was going to do what he wanted.  I’m like dude no.  I’ve been locked up for weeks.  It’s my vacation.  Another argument, more crying.  You’re a bitch if you stand up for yourself.  Okay months go on, we break up in tech school.  But I know he has my cat.  I also know he has a place to live.  Again, my fault.  I’m using him cause I don’t really know what else to do.  So I live at his house.  Then move to out of town.  He threatens to leave me again and tells me I’m shitty for moving away.  I move back to his place.  Back and forth, but he just stays and does whatever the fuck he wants with no consideration for me.  Eventually, I just started to dislike him.  I can take care of myself.  I got another place with a room mate.  His presence annoyed me.  I thought he was ugly.  I think that was mutual, and I was like dude:  Let’s end it. It’s miserable.  He agreed.  Easiest break-up ever.  Now did I do dumb things, and normal post-breakup things? Absolutely. Did I still text him a couple times afterwards? Yeahhh.  Also,  I made out with a 20 year old army kid at a bar. And I also slept with a married man.  That was a whole thing.  But most of last year, I have just grown.

I have nobody grabbing my arm now.  If I want to pack up and go hiking somewhere across the country, I’ll buy a plane ticket and go. If I want to hang out with friends, its fun again.  I do not rely on anybody for my self-worth.  2020 was extremely rough for me. I lost my house and all my belongings.  My car flooded in a hurricane (and of course I only had liability insurance).  It has all worked out anyway.  I didn’t even need any of that stuff.  Honestly, I never had the worst life.  That wasn’t the goal of this. You know, to complain.  It’s just that everything has gotten better. Losing everything helps put your life into perspective.  I’m so much more appreciative now.  I look at what I have accomplished and where I came from.  I used to think that everybody was more important than me, and that I needed them to like me and see me as worthy to be around.  Well, that has changed completely.  I don’t have to like you and you don’t have to like me.  That doesn’t make me less of a valuable person.  Everybody is not better than me and I have just as much a chance of being successful as everybody else.  I’m not a “bitch”.  Maybe some folks find me “annoying”, but you’re crazy if you think I will ever make myself small to fit inside anybody’s box that doesn’t like me.  I don’t “deserve it” to be living a miserable life. Life is hard.  Life is beautiful. It’s all about learning, and that’s what I have done. I win.  I’m free.  I can do anything.  While I do regret some of my past, all this has given me the drive to me who I am today and who I will be tomorrow.  Still gotta figure that one out.

[takaraphoenix]

35,18,3,7 (on the original Charmed)

Thanks for playing! ^-^

3. rant. just do it

Okay, here goes nothing.

Americans annoy me with their high hourse TV plot writing these days. Like, yeah, just as any other sane person, I know that your guys��� government putting human beings into cages and separating children from their parents and basically Third Reiching it up in there is really terrifyingly bad - as a German, I might even get that a little bit more than some others.

But I’m... I’m really tired of them doing this “what is happening right now is Really Very Bad and we will whack you over the head with that in your fun escapism TV show”.

Because look. If I’d... If I’d want to engage with this terrifying shit going on, I’d be right now watching the news. Not Supergirl. Not Legends of Tomorrow.

I, like many others, watch TV as a means of escapism. Especially shows about idiot timetravelers and aliens who are unrecognizable when they put on glasses.

That a show like Orange is the New Black that is set and grounded in this reality and actually deals with prison conditions and has tackled these type of injustices from the get-go addresses it makes a whole lot of sense and fits the theme.

But every single show turning into “we shouldn’t treat other beings who are just like us but have slight differences and may come from a different place like they are below us!!!” is... it’s exhausting.

Not everybody watching this is American. It’s not like we can do anything to help. And, let’s be really really clear: A show that is so damn heavy on feminism and LGBT themes has long since lost any of the viewers whose hearts and minds these kind of plotlines are meant to change. No Straight White Male Republican Racist is still watching a show with half the cast being POC and LGBT and female. The only people you’re reaching are the people who absolutely know that what is happening is wrong and terrifying.

And what makes it more frustrating was that Supergirl in particular was always very out of this world; quite literally. They opted, after Trump was elected, to put a female president onto that Earth. A reasonable, wise woman who works for the rights of others. And that made this show all the more wonderful and all the more escapism from this reality because it was literally presented as a better alternate Earth to ours. That they had to get her impeached to replace her with a Straight White Male Racist so you can hammer the metaphor of aliens = immigrants in was... not necessary, not on that world.

And especially not with the exact same message running course on three different shows that share one universe -  because yeah, the whole “metahumans are different than us and are being murdered” thing is the same tune, you just exchanged alien/magical creature with metahuman there.

I just... It’s too much. I get tight-chested every single time I have to face another horrible, inhumane, Hitleresque thing that Trump said or did. I don’t need you to whack me over the head with thinly veiled metaphors.

Especially since you’re not even doing it in a creative way. The bad guy is the Old White Man, while most of the aliens and magical creatures that are prominently features are played by actors of color, just in case anyone was still missing the metaphor. It’s... It’s not even clever writing.

And I don’t... I just... Honestly, I actually find it kind of offensive that writers think we need a metaphor where the immigrants are literal aliens. Like, humans do this shit to other humans. That you’re pretending that “oh no they are doing this to aliens while all humans hold together” is... even more unrealistic than the whole premise of Supergirl to begin with, to be quite frank.

It’d even be... fine. Durable. If it were one show only but to be whacked over the head with the exact same message on multiple shows running parallel is really tiresome actually.

I get it. I know what you’re saying. I agree. And so does the whole entire damn rest of the audience. Because if they didn’t get the whole point of Superman and Supergirl literally being refugees on Earth and them LITERALLY being created by Jewish men during WWII and if they weren’t racist enough to stop watching when two black men became superheroes and if they weren’t homophobic enough when one of the main characters came out as a lesbian and started very explicitely to have a relationship with another woman and if they weren’t transphobic enough to quit when you introduced a trans character to the main cast and if they weren’t misogynistic enough to just straight up quit this majorly female-led feminist show on season one, then honestly you’re barking up the wrong tree there.

7. opinion on… Charmed

THIS WAS MY FIRST BIG OBSESSION! *^*

Oh, I loved Charmed - literally all of my walls, including my ceiling, were plastered with posters of the show! I did the puppy-dog eyes at anyone who bought teen magazines back then, I got cut-out articles about it every time it was somewhere, I still have self-recorded VHS tapes with the entire show in my closet.

I even wrote my very first fanfiction for this show, back then ink on paper in a journal because we’re talking pre-Phoe-is-allowed-on-the-internet-age, I had my first next gen OC line-up for that show.

And it was, to date, the only ever where I actually also got invested in the actors. Particularly Alyssa Milano. And if I saw anything where Alyssa Milano or Julian McMahon were in, I watched it, not even caring what it was, because I loved them so much.

I mean, I’ve always loved witches, you know? But this show just hit everything for me. Back then I really related to Phoebe the most, because she was the youngest and thus most relatable for pre-teen me, she was kind of a screw-up who didn’t really know what she was doing. I always wanted big sisters like Piper and Prue.

Many of my favorite tropes were first introduced to me there. Seriously, this show is why I love a good “everybody lives together”. A team as a family, by blood and also beyond that.

Them killing off Prue killed me. I cried so hard so long back then.

And also this is like the only show ever where I got incredibly invested in the canon ships. Leo/Piper, Cole/Phoebe, Andy/Prue. All. The. Way. Obviously, canon broke my heart twice but that doesn’t mean I can’t live in eternal denial.

It’s also the first time I encountered a TV show overstaying its welcome, because that last season was absolutely unnecessary, start to finish. The season before that had the perfect finale - the sisters, getting to live a normal life, then that little wink by the door closing just like Prue’s powers used to close it, it put tears in my eyes and had me incredibly content. Then they had to add a blonde Mary-Sue to the mix and go on for another season and just nope.

And yes, you notice my focus on Prue. I love her. She still remains my second favorite after Phoebe and I will admit I never quite warmed up to Paige and would have preferred if the whole... actor fall out hadn’t happened and Prue could have continued on in the show. So, that’s my favorite part of it; back when Prue was alive and Cole was also still alive.

18. rant about your favorite musician

...At this point, I am thinking that maybe you should have asked each number in a separate ask because this thing is long.

But okay, I actually do have something to rant about there!

HOW DOES THE YOUTH TODAY NOT UNDERSTAND PUNK. URGH.

A few weeks back, my favorite musician was on TV. There was a music event, I think it was a benefit and also a peaceful protest, led by him, among others, and before it, he stepped up to the mic to say a few words and I was watching that with my grandparents and my brother and he just went “Urgh, that guy again. Why does he have to be everywhere? And why is he talking about this? It’s none of his business, he should just do music”.

Like.

No.

Campino is a punk. Die Toten Hosen is a punk rock band.

Protesting the government and what is wrong with society is literally what punk does. Punk is only secondarily a music genre. First and foremost, it is a means to be loud and vocal about politics. So to organize a peaceful protest and to speak up about the mistreatment of immigrants in our country is literally what punk should be.

The fact that there’s younger people who don’t know that is terrifying. The fact that younger people in Germany just know Campino as an old musician and not as a punk is also terrifying. Go listen to DTH and study up on punk, please.

35. what does home mean to you?

Ah, finally a short one! xD (Just kidding, I do love ranting!)

Home is where I feel at ease, where I can be myself, where I’m happy. These requirements can be fulfilled outside of my own four walls - it’s like, when I am in London, this incredible sense of home fills me too, surprisingly enough. Gods, I wanna go back to London...

Unusual Ask Game

[firedragon1321]

Hero Training- What it Is and Why It Sucks

This is the sequel to this rant nobody cares about- http://firedragon1321.tumblr.com/post/158868041331/so-it-is-time-for-me-to-rant. I recommend you read that one first, though I will summarize the short version in this rant.

The short version of the above rant will include a definition of Hero Training, which I think is necessary before I start-

“I never liked having my favorites taken down a peg by “awesome” characters who called them weak or whatever- ever since I was young. Is it favoritism? Yes. But also because they didn’t deserve the negative treatment half the time. In a lot of shonen anime, this often leads right into training arcs with painful/impossible/emotionally draining training that makes the character stronger somehow. Often it makes them a bit of a Stu too (since this normally happens to male characters). I call this phenomenon Hero Training.”- Me, 2017, not that anyone gives a crap

Now, the short version of the other rant is “Hero Training is bad, the only good example was in Digimon Adventure with Piximon because it was required for the target character to get his shit together and the half-example in Pokemon’s Battle Frontier (aka- the King of Pokelantis episode) was just piss-poor writing and had no business being there.”

Now that we’re all caught up, it’s time for Rant 2.0. The Uber-Rant. The rant to end them all.

Okay, not really. But it still is a long-ass post, so I hope you’re ready for a read.

Hero Training is the fast and easy way to power up a character, especially when stronger characters are over the horizon. It usually occurs after the main character loses a battle, but it can just pop up whenever it wants. Of course, by “fast and easy”, I mean “every shonen anime does it at least once in some form”, so it’s a stock cliche. Hell, it has a TVtrope. The TVtropes pages even links to sister tropes that make Hero Training what it is (aka- annoying).

So why exactly does this trope grind my gears to the point that I’d write two rants about it? Let’s break it down.

Annoyance 1- Usually, the protagonist did nothing to “trigger” the training (i.e.- new, stronger foes are coming or some other event outside of the protagonist’s control). If they did, it was due to a character flaw they had from Day One. For example, Character XYZ felt like being reckless that day- but he’s always reckless. Not saying that said recklessness can never be grown out of- just that it was always there and a silly reason to “trigger” additional training unless it caused something big (like powers going out of control accidentally destroying a town, but in shonen anime, these are rare cases). Or Character ABC was lacking certain skills that almost no-one else used up until this point (Nen in Hunter x Hunter is an example).

Annoyance 2- So the protagonist loses in battle or encounters some other difficulty due to lacking skill or their character flaws. How does the writer fix this? They either introduce a new character or an existing one fulfills this role (it’s usually the former, but it was sort of the latter in my Marchen Awakens Romance example in the other rant). Sometimes, they even defeated the hero themselves. The problem is, this character is 99.9% of the time an asshole. Okay, maybe they’re just strict. Maybe I’m over-reacting. But come on- it’s ALMOST EVERY TIME.

Annoyance 3- Now that the characters are in place, it’s time for some shaming! Because not having the right knowledge/skill/personality wasn’t bad enough, the new character (let’s just call him “the mentor”) has to list every reason why the hero is weak/stupid/has XYZ character flaw and is therefore weak and stupid. I don’t know about you, but that would make me feel really badly about myself. If the hero wasn’t a flat character from the start, it’s easy to imagine that they’d feel bad about themselves, too. Perhaps this is what leads to...

Annoyance 4- ...the actual Hero Training itself. Low self-confidence combined with a possible looming threat of fifty foot whatevers trying to kill everyone leads the protagonist to accept the mentor’s offer of training. Here’s where shit gets real. The training methods in shonen anime are often extreme and unrealistic. For example (and this is a real one from our friends at TVtropes, from Katekyo Hitman Reborn- “being set on fire...thrown off a cliff with a whirlpool beneath it and made to stand one-legged on a rock in the middle of a mine field”). If any real human tried to copy many of these training regimens, they would die. Sometimes, it’s all too easy to imagine the trainee dying too.

Annoyance 5- If the hero doesn’t die from any of the above (and they usually don’t), then there is a high chance of writing’s worst scourge moving in- Gary Stu. It can be Mary Sue, but this rant will use Gary Stu since this trope mostly affects male characters. Let’s go all the way back to Annoyance 1 and our friend Character XYZ. He landed in this pot of hot water (perhaps figuratively, perhaps literally) because he was reckless. Instead of gradually growing out of his recklessness like most characters would, the trait is suddenly erased after training. If that was XYZ’s only personality flaw, well, guess what, buttercup? He now has no flaws at all. I have three rules to detect a Stu or Sue- the world revolves around them, they face no difficulties and (most importantly) they are everything the author/reader wants to be but “more”, which means no character flaws like real humans have. If XYZ now has his single flaw erased, he is a third of the way to being a Stu. The mentor’s training might have strengthened his body, but (from a writing standpoint), his mind is now weak.

These five annoyances are also the five steps of the typical Hero Training method. They might be repeated over and over through the course of long animes like Bleach. If that happens, the hero is bound to fall into the Gary Stu trap eventually. If the first round of training didn’t do it, maybe the second will. Or the third. Granted, the Gary Stu step doesn’t always happen, but this trope still frustrates me beyond belief (come on I wrote two rants about it).

Oh look, here comes another bullet-pointed list, this time on why, exactly, we need to abandon this trope (not counting the risk of Gary Stu-ism).

It’s a cheap way to get character development done: This is probably the biggest one. I’m dragging out Character XYZ again. Perhaps he has more than recklessness as character flaws, but that’s the one that causes the most trouble over the course of the story. Training it away is the easiest way to get rid of it (other than pretending it never existed in the first place, which most readers or watchers will easily notice...). Therefore, Hero Training is sometimes used in place of real character development. 

It introduces unlikable characters, characters that don’t have any use in the plot other than to Hero Train, or both: Of course, not every character has to be likable, but some characters are only in the story to serve as Hero Trainers, then they exit stage right. (This is basically Wing from Hunter x Hunter, who only had small appearances after the Heaven’s Arena arc where he trained Gon and Killua- fortunately, neither Gon or Killua ended up as a Stu). A subversion would be Izumi from Fullmetal Alchemist, who has an actual role in the plot beyond being a Hero Trainer and development of her own.

It makes the protagonist overpowered: This is related to being a Gary Stu, but Stu-ism is not just being overpowered. Being overpowered is a part of Stu-ism. Not all rectangles are squares and all that. The issue with being OP by itself is it makes the story less fun to read. I mean, in a shonen, a character will slowly get stronger in XYZ and beat stronger opponents. That’s kind of the formula. I’m talking about blowing away every single opponent without the slightest of struggles. A character may have average ability at the start, but Hero Training is a quick and dirty way to get them to max power in a few chapters or episodes.

It makes me worried: This is a stupid, selfish point, but I wanted to say it. A lot of the impossible training is harmful physically or mentally to the characters. There comes a point where we stop cheering them on to succeed. At that point, we worry if they’ll even make it out alive. If they do survive- realistically- they have a high chance of being traumatized. Since Hero Training often serves as a shortcut to do other things, however, we never see that trauma- just Gary Stu. Again, Fullmetal Alchemist is the exception as both Ed and Al are afraid to meet with Izumi again. Another subversion is in Boku no Hero Academia, where All Might became concerned when Izuku pushed himself too hard during his training- he was trying to prevent excessive physical and/or mental strain.

I’m not saying protagonists should get the easy road (that leads to Stu-ism also). It is possible to have everyone hate the hero for his or her actions and not deal with Hero Training, such as in the video game Tales of the Abyss. It’s also possible to do Hero Training right like in my Digimon example in the other rant, but that requires a certain type of character and mental state for both the mentor and the trainee.

But Hero Training itself is all too often used as a cheap way to get from Point A to Point B, and it’s the hero themselves who suffers the most.

tl;dr- Hero Training is an over-used plot point that makes me worry for the protagonist’s safety while also serving as a quick and cheap way to develop a character when real, gradual character development is more intriguing to watch and read.