#of course she looks like a clock with death and the maiden on her dial

[owladaptive]

Headcanons of your latest art, plz

The cool and funny thing about the addams au is that ducks don't need to change their core personalities in the slightest in order to fit. They're all just kinda Like That already.

They're just Like That already!!

They already get up to wacky, dangerous shenanigans. And other people not in the family look at it and go "that's a whole lotta weird". Individually, none of them are exactly normal.

All you really need to do to addamsify them is to take the most out of the ordinary aspects of each of their personalities and dial the notch up about..... 60 degrees.

Below are ramblings about their characters. Enjoy.

Scrooge is of course the patriarch of the family, an adventure capitalist and the richest duck in the world who loves dancing with danger. He's basically the most unchanged out of them all. But this Scrooge is... twisted. He covets the thrill of almost dying with the same fervor he covets gold. And he proudly, nay lovingly, exposes his kids to anything that brings them near the glory of death with reverence. The "other bin" is a personal museum of deadly monsters, fatal curses and dead things that he proudly lets his beloved family (and hapless guests) admire at their leisure. And he's always delighted to teach his kids anything they want to know. How to swordfight? Of course m'dear child, anything you ask. Here's the correct way you load gunpowder into a musket. Here's a fun way to give your wind-up clock bomb a little extra oomph. Want a turn in the iron maiden?

Bentina was a whole different kind of spy. I mean she was an assassin. In fact she was hired to string up Scrooge when they first met, instead he bought her off and had her dispose of her original contractor. They became friends of course, Scrooge admiring her line of work and Beakley begrudgingly respecting the sheer outrageousness of his admiration. And since coming back to his house to raise Webby (his family-oriented nature wore her cold exterior down over time until she caught the love bug) she vibes as his pseudo-sister once more.

Yeah Duckworth is still a ghost. He's been there since he died in his sleep and the whole family got together to drag his fading soul from the river styx and shove him back into the physical plain. (They worship the escape of death, that doesn't mean they want to be separated!) He doesn't say much. They love him still.

Webby is literally the same character. Only of course, her already-warped perspective on life after growing up in the shadow of Scrooge McDuck is warped all the more. To Webby, fighting, grappling, shooting arrows, firing (real) guns and stalking your friends through the shadows of night to scare the light from their eyes for a second isn't just super fun.... it's affection!! She's a creature of the night. She'll give her family so many hugs. She'll watch her loved ones while they sleep. She'll strangle them until they pass out (affectionate), she'll protect them from anything. She's everything the rest of the world is just ken.

Della is presumed dead, and nobody is particularly mad about it. This is a family that walks closely with death, after all, so while their love for each other is so strong that even a decade after she was gone they still mourn her, they would never cut her memory from their lives. Her portraits hang everywhere, her room kept immaculately covered in dust and cobwebs just the way she'd want it to be. They bring her up in conversations as though she'd just gone out to buy milk or something. And every single year, on the anniversary of her death, they hold a seance to attempt to summon her back (They already tried the thing they did with Duckworth). It never works, and Scrooge and Donald hug and cry and reminisce together and then life goes back to normal.

Donald is a faithful, doting and affectionate dad to his nephews and has told them stories of their mother since they were hatched. He loved his sister so very much, but unlike canon never blamed Scrooge for her death. Yes, she likely died in space, her spacesuit smashed open and her body freeze dried in the soul-sucking endless darkness all because Scrooge lovingly gifted her something that would put her life at risk. But she's only dead!! Nothing to estrange yourself from your family over. Donald and Scrooge are instead brought closer through shared loss. Donald in this universe is still a sailor, and is entranced by the glory of the deathly, stormy seas and all the creepy, slimy creatures within it. His anger is surprisingly mostly tamed by way of catharsis (fishing and killing the fish and cooking the fish with far too much axe chopping and knife brandishing than needed). That doesn't mean he won't lose it if someone insults his kids, his uncle or his dead sister.

Huey is a sweet, smart, helpful boy with a penchant for biting that's followed him since he first grew teeth and a rage-filled alter ego that's switched on a hair-thin trigger. When he's not flying into a mad frenzy like a gremlin ("you've got such a healthy temper dear boy, make sure to sharpen your teeth before bed now!") he's deconstructing anything he can get his hands on and building them back better and more explosive. Don't be alarmed by his muzzle - his brothers sometimes force it on him when they get tired of his biting (it makes for an unfair fight) and sometimes they kindly ask if he wants them to put it on for him when they notice he's being a little nonverbal or cranky. He loves them a lot and gives them lots of hugs.

Dewey is a melodramatic little weirdo who recites poetry and Shakespeare, adores making a spectacle of himself and hates being one of a set of three. Quite like his canon self! Unlike his canon self, he copes with feelings of resentment and middle child syndrome by way of bloodlust. It's all in good fun, of course. What child doesn't try to smother their siblings in their sleep now and then? Why, back when Scrooge was a lad, his sisters once dangled him in the path of a speeding train while he was sleeping! When his murderous urges take a backseat and he gives the booby traps a rest, Dewey's a fun-loving kid who would go to much more extreme measures to get take vicious revenge on anyone who would make any three of his siblings cry. His dream is to die suffocating in a vacuum like his mother did.

Louie, having grown up in the mansion instead of a houseboat, is no stranger to the wonders of luxury. Luckily for him, the Scrooge of this universe is wrapped around the collective pinky finger of his wee ones, and is much more doting than canon. Also luckily for Louie is that McDuck manor is built on an expansive graveyard where he can look for jewellery, trinkets and gold fillings to his greedy heart's content. When he runs out of graves at the mansion (he always buries them back, don't worry) there are always other graveyards in town. And other towns, too. And true, Louie's been dragged back home by the police every now and then, so he's had to get sneaky about his thrifting ways. He can pickpocket like a pro, filching off anybody who isn't Scrooge (who would always notice) and snatching any shiny thing that isn't nailed down and can fit in his pocket when he's out of the house. He's sneaky alright, but also sensitive. Don't touch his stuff or he'll stab you. "did the little dragon add anything to his hoard today?"

[modernwizard]

Alison meets the Master’s TARDIS

Blah blah Scream of the Shalka fanfic blah alternative Ninth Doctor in a plot device blah blah leaving Alison, black British barmaid, and the Master, evil alien super-powered robot, to piss each other the hell off figure out how to deal with each other blah blah blah actually sort of functional relationship, even if not entirely a good thing blah blah even collaborating in a diplomatic mission.

New chapters are up at AO3!

This excerpt comes when Alison’s in a frenzy of anxiety over her and the Master’s upcoming meeting with the Agricole. These are the people who created the Schuaschen, including Uscheschua, Alison’s friend, and who think that their creations are less than human. Needless to say, Alison is not looking forward to this at all.

Alison asks the TARDIS to point her in the direction of her robot. The ship, who knows very well that Alison was circumventing him even up until a few days ago, gives a trumpet peal of laughter. Nevertheless, neon yellow outlines of footprints appear on the floor, leading off down the hall. Alison follows the trail.

Alison ends up at a grandfather clock -- made of dark, glossy wood, almost black, like that of wet pine trunks -- set into the wall. It’s a grandiose edifice, as narrow as her shoulders, but at least twice as high, set with more crenellations, scrolls, and flourishes than a Baroque cathedral. The dial features Roman numerals and two flat tinplate figures pursuing each other about the rim. One of the figures appears to be a Grim Reaper, with tattered robes and a scythe, and the other a woman with bare feet and streaming hair. The figures waver, however, and, as she moves closer to stare, she finds that she can no longer discern which is which. She backs up, shaking her head. “He’s in the clock?”

The TARDIS laughs again. That’s no clock, but the Master’s TARDIS, who has been expecting Alison. At this, the glass door on the front of the clock swings open.

“Hello,” says Alison, not sure if she should be looking at the clock face or the open door. “I’m Alison Cheney. Before we go any further, I should tell you -- I don’t send out or receive telepathy, so no mental communication or control.”

Used to the Doctor’s TARDIS’ playful use of music and lights, Alison jumps like a scared cat when a wry, dry voice emanates from the clock: “Fear not, mistress. I am obliged to obey your wishes, and so we shall speak only by voice.”

“Okay...thank you.” Alison breathes a little easier.

“Well, well -- so you are the Master’s Domina.” If the ship could pace around her, inspecting from every angle, she would be doing so.

“No, the Magister’s.”

“Yes, he said that you would not call him Master, at least not in your language.”

“Not in any language!” Alison levels her glare at the clock face.

“I thought you knew Latin. Magister is master.”

Alison puts her hands on her hips. “Excuse me? I had six years of Latin. I may not remember all fifty thousand conjugations of the subjunctive, but I do remember that I called all my tutors Magister or Magistra for Teacher. When was the last time you attended a Latin tutorial on Earth?”

“The Magister’s Domina indeed!” exclaims the ship. “I must concede that even dead languages may change over time, and magister has clearly acquired other uses besides the one with which I am familiar.”

“Was that an apology? Because I didn’t hear any sorry in it.”

There’s a pause. “I am truly sorry, mistress. I was to welcome you, not antagonize you. I have squandered my chance for a good impression, and I know that I have displeased you.”

Alison wonders if he’s been teaching his ship how to properly accept responsibility for mistakes and make amends. “Okay, I accept your apology. Just don’t do it again. Why don’t we start over? What’s your name?”

“Well, I would tell you the name that the Master calls me, but it doesn’t translate into speech. It’s more of a mental image -- a flash of light across the sky.”

“Scintilla!” Alison says, the Latin word for spark.

The ship gives a gasp of delight, though she has no breath. “I like that! Scintilla it is then. Thank you, mistress; that was a very generous gift, especially when I’ve just been so rude to you.”

“Hey, I just said the word for spark; you were the one who took it as a name.”

“Dear me! The Master has just asked me why I am detaining you!” says Scintilla. “Please come in, mistress -- don’t keep him waiting.”

“Pfft. He’s a Time Lord, isn’t he? Tell him he can sit on his arse for a few minutes.”

“He’s laughing,” Scintilla reports after a second, her voice filled with wonder.

“Yeah, he does that on occasion.”

[ghosthunthq]

What Are Men Good For?

Title: What Are Men Good For?

Author: @shesailsships

A/N: This was written for the 2020 Ghost Hunt Fanworks Weekend. I selected the prompt neighbors who only meet because “I can’t get this stupid jar open, can you help?”

What are men even good for?– Ayako Matsuzaki thought vehemently as her apartment key scratched in the lock and she flung open her front door– besides opening jars, moving furniture, and killing bugs?

Kicking off her heels and dropping her purse, Ayako immediately set to erasing the face of the man who had successfully ruined one of her very few Saturdays off. He had been the son of one of the nurses who worked the night shift with Ayako at The University Of Tokyo Hospital. Ayako had gone into the arrangement with more hope than she probably should have after two other failed dates just that month…

So much for that.

Looking to cool her temper a bit, Ayako began rummaging around her small kitchen. Locating a glass, she closed her cabinet with a bang. Opening the fridge, she closed it with a slam. Ayako stood at her kitchen counter taking angry swallows of cold Brita water. Then with a slight pang of guilt, it occurred to her she might have been a bit too loud for it being midnight.

But the sudden sound of a running shower put her mind at ease.

That’s right. Rocker Monk is always up at this time.

Ayako had never actually crossed paths with Rocker Monk. He had moved into the unit directly next to her about a month ago. What Ayako had learned about her neighbor had all come through the wall. That he was in fact a he was made certain after hearing him sing (loudly) in the shower (which was inconveniently located next to her kitchen), and…the chanting. When Ayako first heard it, frankly it had kind of weirded her out. She had considered calling apartment management…but after week, she (grudgingly) found it somewhat soothing. It wasn’t hurting anyone, so she let it be.

Ayako attributed her passing curiosity in him (after having never given a second though to her previous neighbors in that unit) to them keeping similar schedules. Ayako worked graveyard shifts at the hospital. She assumed she was the only person in her building sleeping until four in the afternoon, whose work day didn’t start until eleven-thirty at night. But then came Rocker Monk. Who was silent as a ghost all day, and only active at night. Between ten and eleven Ayako could always count on the shower kicking on, and then he was out the door…off to whatever his job was. After hearing him regularly practicing bass guitar, Ayako began the amusing idea that he was in a rock band.

He’s late tonight, Ayako thought as Rocker Monk began singing.

He wasn’t half bad and Ayako decided listen in while finishing the dishes left in her sink. Afterward, she found herself going to bed in a relatively good mood.

The next night, Ayako was back to slamming cabinets again. She was in a flustered mood, running behind. She had taken the world’s quickest shower, and with her hair still wet, she was attempting to cobble together a decent breakfast. She was about to work a double and she wanted something decent in her stomach. But the damn jam just wouldn’t open.

Cursing in frustration, Ayako was considering just chucking the thing…when she heard the shower turn on next door. She stared down at the offending jar in her hand.

What are men even good for?

Ayako gave it fifteen minutes. She busied herself blow drying her hair, touching up her makeup, throwing on her scrubs. Then, putting two pieces of bread in the toaster, she grabbed the jar of jam, and left her apartment.

A moment later, Ayako was standing in front of Rocker Monk’s door, knocking firmly. It took a good bit of knocking (clearly he didn’t have guests over often), but then the lock slid over and there stood a tall man in the doorway. Ayako took him in in a blink– his long blonde hair pulled back in a low ponytail, his broad shoulders, the black long sleeve v-neck sweater he was wearing– and then she was thrusting the jar of jam into his hands.

“Can you open this?”

As not to drop it, Rocker Monk accepted the jar, but was looking between it and her with an expression that was partly interested, partly confused.

“Do we…know each other?”

Ayako, arms crossed, impatiently nodded.

“Of course. You’re–” Ayako hesitated here, almost calling him by his nickname, “Bou…Bou-san. And I’m your neighbor who needs help opening this jar.”

Rocker Monk blinked at her, taking in her answer. Something like an impressed spark lit his eyes,

“Bou-san? What makes you call me that?”

“I heard you chanting.”

“Oh?”

“What happened? You run away from the temple?”

The monk was smiling by this time, a bit self consciously he rubbed at the back of his neck.

“Actually…yeah. I couldn’t make music there.”

“Ha, I knew it.”

“You could hear that too?”

“Sorry but, I’m running short on time. Can you open that thing or not?”

His attention returned to the jar in his hands, Bou-san gave the lid a deft twist and with a satisfying pop, it opened. The monk held it out to her.

“There you go.”

Ayako flashed a smile and took back the jam. With a wave she was already backing down the hall, towards her apartment.

“Thanks, neighbor.”

He waved back, and peering out of his door frame, he called back to her, “It’s Takigawa, Houshou.”

“Nice to meet you, Rocker Monk.”

Still smiling, Ayako closed her apartment door and set about making a reasonable breakfast, having just enough time to stuff toast in her mouth.

That’s what men are good for.

Weeks passed by. Ayako worked a blur of twelve and sixteen hours shifts. She listened in on countless songs sung by the monk in the shower. She swore he was even louder than before. On purpose. More often than not, she found herself wanting toast with jam on her days off. Visits next door became a somewhat regular thing.

Ayako learned that Rocker Monk– or as she now called him– Bou-san, was in fact in a band. A small indie one, that played mostly night gigs. He learned she was a nurse at a major hospital. She offered her services if he was ever choking to death. Or had a heart attack. She was well trained in the Heimlich Maneuver and CPR.

That spring Ayako was granted a much deserved vacation. After being lavishly lazy the first two days, she decided spring cleaning was in due order. On a bright Sunday morning she drug herself out of bed, threw open her blinds and windows and decided to rearrange her living room.

An hour later Ayako was sweating and cursing over her stubborn couch that just wouldn’t move. About to give the whole thing up– she had a dawning realization.

Exchanging the sweats she was cleaning in for a pair of jeans and a tank top, Ayako walked the familiar path to her neighbor’s door. Knowing it was hours before he would even be conscious, she hesitated in her plan, but then knocked anyways.

What are men even good for?

It took more pounding than usual, but eventually the monk answered the door. Ayako raised her eyebrows at the sight of the still half asleep man before her.

Hair loose at his shoulders, was wearing boxer shorts…and no shirt.

“Ah, crap. I thought it was an emergency–” he started to explain, attempting to cover his bare chest.

“It is an emergency. I need you to move my couch.”

Bou-san put on a shirt and the couch got moved.

That’s what men are good for.

The next day decided Ayako decided she wanted to move her bed. And then her computer desk. Rocker Monk got very little sleep the whole of Ayako’s vacation. But occasionally she fed him. They had dinner twice. Lunch once. Coffee several times.

After vacation Ayako gained the nickname Miko. Having been in her apartment, Bou-san noticed the number of plants that filled the space. He appreciated her green thumb and told her she reminded him of a shrine maiden. Ayako snorted at that, but the name stuck.

At the start of summer, Ayako was having trouble sleeping. It was incredibly muggy in Tokyo. On her night off, after tossing and turning for hours, Ayako stared at the ceiling in defeat. Sitting up in bed, she decided she would read, hoping that would make her tired enough to fall asleep. Reaching for her lamp, Ayako saw the clock read two in the morning.

Great.

Clicking the light on, Ayako reached for the book she had started six months ago– and then froze.

A spider. Hairy and the size of her hand, was crawling across the foot of her bed.

With a cry, Ayako jumped up– scrambling to stand at the top of her bed. Back pressed against the wall, Ayako’s mind raced, but every solution seemed to involve getting off the bed and facing indeterminate danger. She just couldn’t kill it.

And then, a flash of genius through her blind panic. A question that solved the problem.

What are men even good for?

Heart pounding, Ayako reached down, fumbling for her phone sitting on the nightstand nearest her. Her finger hit speed dial. Three rings later, a gruff voice answered.

“Wha– Ayako, what is–”

“Bou-san you have get over here right now there’s a huge spider it’s going to devour me and then you’ll have nobody to listen to you sing in the shower–”

It felt like a century, but Bou-san was over in an instant. Having exchanged keys a month ago (what if there was a medical emergency?), he came barreling into Ayako’s apartment, a broom in hand.

“Where?” he demanded as he entered the bedroom, waving the broom around.

“On my bed!”

But it wasn’t. In all of Ayako’s commotion, she had kicked her blankets off. The spider was no longer anywhere to be seen.

Ten minutes of turning on all the lights, sorting through all the blankets, doing a sweep of the whole apartment…and there was still, nothing.

“Those are nice,” Bou-san spoke, leaning against Ayako’s door frame where they had taken up post to watch for the spider.

“What’s nice? None of this is nice–”

“Your pajamas.”

Ayako tore her gaze away from the floor to glance down at herself. They were her lacy ones.

Oh well.

“Keep your eyes on the prize, monk. It’s almost three in morning, where the hell is this demon spider?”

“Wait, what’s that brown thing…?”

“What?!”

Ayako launched at Bou-san, and was clinging to him (practically climbing him…), before he could even finish his sentence, hitting him in the arm, demanding that he kill it.

But upon further inspection, there was nothing to kill. The brown thing turned out to be just one of Ayako’s slippers. Exhausted and flustered, Ayako finally released the monk, head in her hands.

“I’m just not going to sleep tonight. I’ll just call the office as soon as they open and have them bomb his place.”

Bou-san chewed at his lip, thoughtful.

“You have to sleep.”

Ayako sent him a sharp look,

“Not with that thing in here.”

“No…I don’t blame you there, but you could sleep…you know– at my place, if you wanted.”

There was a beat as Ayako’s foggy mind processed this offer.

“Sleep. At your apartment?”

“Yeah, like on my couch. I haven’t seen a spider for weeks, I think it’s probably safe.”

“Yeah.”

“Yeah?”

“Sure.”

That’s what men are good for.

Trading her apartment for his, Ayako did finally manage to get some sleep that night, comfortably tucked into the monk’s bed, while the monk (somehow) ended up on the couch.

The summer’s humidity brought mosquitoes. And mosquitoes brought Bou-san over several times a week. The monk teased her that her love of nature didn’t seem to embrace all of it and the little spirits of the bugs she was having him squash would haunt her. Ayako balked at this, but that was how they got started on the topic of the paranormal. Apparently they shared a mutual interest in it, and more than one night was spent with them exchanging chilling real life experiences.

Ayako didn’t want to admit it, but the more she got to know Bou-san, the longer her list of what men were even good for seemed to grow.

Cooking.

Like when Bou-san surprised her with a real breakfast after she slogged home from a particularly harsh double shift at the hospital.

That’s what men are good for.

Handy work.

Like when her washing machine broke and apartment maintenance said it was back ordered and would take a month to be installed. One YouTube tutorial later and Bou-san had it fixed.

That’s what men are good for.

Company.

Like when Bou-san stayed up with her all night, taking her mind off the head cold she caught, watching ridiculous horror films, and telling bad jokes.

Standing on her deck, the season’s first snowflakes falling through the dark, Ayako studied the monk beside her, and found she was a bit afraid that she had come to like her list a little too much. Especially the part she just added…

“I can’t believe it’s really snowing.”

“You’re cheeks are red. Pretty cold, huh?”

“Hm.”

“Want me to come a little closer, share some warmth? Oh look at that, it’s really coming down now.”

What are men even good for?

Love.

And she kissed him.

That’s what men are good for.

[psyga315]

"What if Volume 7 was about Post-9/11?”

This is another V7 rewrite of mine, but rather than just tweak scenes, these are gonna be full on alterations, with the overall aim being to make it more clear cut at Ironwood’s dictatorship, but also showing a half-full view of his actions.

See, until we get a commentary on what the intent was for Ironwood, we’re of two camps: One, RT always intended Ironwood to be a dictator who lost his grasp on reality or two, they meant for it to be one of those “you guess who’s in the right” but people instead memed the “RWBY’S ALWAYS RIGHT/WRONG” angle too much.

However, a Twitter post by Ruby Rose talking about how people despised RWBY for being too political has got me thinking: “The problem isn’t that RWBY is too political… The problem is that RWBY isn’t political enough”.

Okay, let’s take a look at this: Ironwood has a whole 1984 angle going with TV Screens showing his face everywhere, androids recording people, and the ability to declare martial law when he feels like it. The problem is that we don’t really get to see enough of that angle. It’s a set piece to show how bad Mantle is and nothing more.

While that would have been okay back in the day to convey how dystopian and how much a dictatorship is for Atlas, the problem is that with the ease of access to information, we actually see just how much more they could have went. Even rumors how bad certain dictatorships are manage to be much more threatening than “cameras, cameras everywhere”.

And this is supposed to be the reason why Ironwood isn’t to be trusted with Salem’s immortality truth bomb. At first glance, I see where people are coming from, but looking closer, it just feels wonky. “You want to keep an eye on people in case things go horribly wrong and want to unite the world against Salem? Too bad, you’re not getting any info outta me” and it makes Ruby come off as an entitled brat than a paragon.

And so, I propose this solution:

What if Ironwood wasn’t aiming to unite the world against Salem? What if he really was freaking paranoid at the sky falling? What if, instead of re-enacting 2016 like some people have joked, we dial the clock back fifteen years and instead re-enact 2001. Some of you may see where I’m going with this, but for those who don’t, I feel like these two words will manage to convey the intent I have for Ironwood’s character:

Patriot Act.

For those who don’t know or need a refresher, back in 2001, there was a terrorist attack involving the destruction of the Twin Towers that killed almost three thousand people which placed the USA in an ongoing state of national emergency that still goes on to this day. Sound familiar?

The Fall of Beacon has a few comparisons to 9/11, namely how it was charged by terrorists of, at the time, undeterminable origins (which translates to RWBY as multiple fronts attacking Beacon at once), was responsible for a lot of deaths and destruction of at least one tower, and punted the world (namely the heavily militaristic one) in a state of panic. You could even interpret the Atlasian Soldiers being hacked as a nod to the accusations that the USA planned 9/11, but that’s a bit of a stretch.

During the fallout, the USA, in response to this and an ongoing anthrax attack at the time, decided to, almost as quickly as 9/11 happened with a month and some change in between dates, passed a very lengthy Patriot Act, which, to put it to the simplest of terms, allowed the government to have due process in searching through people’s information with the intent to put a stop to terror attacks before they even begin. However, this is how it’s used in practice. In execution, its uncertain wording and possible violation of the base Amendments caused the bill to garner skepticism or outright criticism.

And what do we see in Volume 7? Ironwood quickly passes a system that enables him to keep a closer eye on the people of Mantle and tighten imports and exports, as well as people going in and out of Atlas, not unlike how the Patriot Act was potentially harsher towards immigrants. So, we have this source of information to draw from now, make parallels and basically show this controversial subject through the lens of your Saturday morning cartoon that put on the big boy pants a couple of years ago.

So, with that in mind, let’s go back to Volume 7, Episode 1, and change up what exactly we see that would make RWBY and co go “this is horrible!”

By the point where RWBY and co get to Atlas, the border patrol shouldn’t be the first sign of danger. Weiss was there when she overheard Ironwood’s plans for increased security and they had to steal an aircraft because of said tight security. Nor would they react to Ironwood’s “Go Home. Stay Home.” speech.

What they would react to are the Paladins forcing people back to their homes, with one threatening to open fire when one of them tries to resist. Cries of “this isn’t right” are uttered when they see a human instantly attack a Faunus right after they see them and accusing them of being part of the White Fang. The moment a cop gets involved in abusing the Faunus, that’s when Blake blurts out that the city is awful, much to Nora’s chagrin.

Weiss throws the cop into the trash bin as we hear a sickening crunch (as he has no aura) as Weiss just looks in remorse. Already we get a good idea that this place is pretty fucked up without looking at a screen of someone saying “we are here for your safety” and going “this is awful!” and it evokes feelings of the racially-charged attacks that followed 9/11.

The rest of the show follows like normal, but the moment everything changes is Episode 2 when Ironwood tells them all why he’s called everyone back. It’s clear that the video has Ironwood at his strongest. As his beard is patchy and his hair greasy now comes the “you look tired” comments. Ironwood has no plans to stop Salem. The reason for his embargo and calling back his troops is to stockpile Dust and men and prepare for the inevitable war, not knowing that Vale and Mistral are hardly equipped to take on Atlas and Vacuo is… Vacuo.

He’s also paranoid that Salem will strike next. Without any reports from the other Kingdoms, he’s effectively put his head in the sand. He’s not even thinking of counterattacking, just staying and believing the best offense is a good defense… Or so RWBY assumes… Ironwood reveals soon that, as he dwelled upon the failings of Beacon, he came to the conclusion that Salem couldn’t be beaten. The most that Ozpin did was put her at a stalemate and even then, all it took is one bad night to change the tide. He is scared.

He finds a small semblance of hope in seeing Oscar and the Lamp, but he assumes that the questions are used up or if there were, the team used it to ask if Salem could be beaten. Ruby neither confirms nor denies it. With his mind clearly submitted to despair, he tells RWBY that the Winter Maiden is spending her twilight years in isolation to protect her from the villains after what happened to Amber. Weiss asks if this is a little much, only for Ironwood to snap and remind her how Cinder was able to destroy Beacon and kill Pyrrha thanks to Ozpin’s poor handling of Amber. The comment stings Jaune, since he partially blames himself for what happened. He then asks RWBY to wait until the Winter Maiden passes on so that the fresher Maiden can handle the Vault and chuck the Lamp in.

That’s when Ruby brings up the Relic’s Grimm-attracting properties. The sooner it’s in a Vault, the better. This does not bode well for Ironwood and he tries his best to compose himself with this bombshell, then permits Ruby and the others to keep the lamp, as they’ve managed to handle it on their own. RWBY then come across the Ace-Ops, who apologize for their antagonism. Weiss raises an eyebrow as she has never heard of the Ace Operatives before and Marrow jabs on about how they’re a secret police force before Harriet shuts him up with an elbow to the rib. Note that he doesn’t call themselves “the best of the best”. If anything, the name is to harbour goodwill, since anything alluding to a shadow police would just send fear and panic.

Of course, the implications of there being an Atlasian secret police flies over Ruby’s optimistic head, but the others start to feel a little suspicious with them. Clover, realizing this, tries to ease tensions by offering the rest of his team to train RWBY and JNPR. Instantly, Ruby accepts, seeing as they scraped by their victories by the skin of their teeth, glancing over to Yang’s broken arm. Clover takes note and says he’ll commission Pietro to construct upgrades for their equipment.

Episode 3 is a simple, light-hearted episode that lets us breathe from all the crazy stuff that went on. It’s also a bit more serious, though, as the gang confront Ruby on omitting the information they learned to Ironwood. Unlike my previous tweaking of Volume 7, this time everyone, Ruby included, feel like they should at least tell Ironwood something, especially after Weiss compares his attitude to when they were affected by the Apathy.

However, they have no good news to share. Even the news of having the Relic of Knowledge comes with the weight of having to tell him how they got the Relic, with Yang feeling just as guilty for omitting Raven’s Spring Maiden powers. Seeing something is off, Clover decides to have the team test their mettle against the Ace-Ops in good fun. When asking if he’s to join in, Clover decides to stay by the sidelines. JNR choose to stay out too. Qrow asks Clover, if he’s the Ace-Ops leader, why doesn’t he join and that’s where we have him casually reveal his Semblance, which causes Qrow to admit that he has the opposite kind of Semblance. Clover chuckles and ponders if being next to each other would cancel the Semblances out.

To make a long story short, the Ace-Ops defeat RWBY, even with their upgraded weapons, but it’s clear they only did it through brute strength and not through teamwork. Regardless, Ironwood is brought out of his shell and sees the battle unfold. He has the common decency to tell RWBY that they shouldn’t spend what may be months cooped up in a house (both a jab at V5 and a poorly timed joke for 2020), he graduates them on the spot so that they can do missions. Ruby takes this time to tell Ironwood that they can beat Salem, though doesn’t she clarify if this was something she learned from the Relic. It leads to Ironwood assuming that she had and is elated. The episode ends with Robyn and her Happy Huntresses having saved a Faunus from getting lynched before they notice Ironwood making an announcement, his beard and hair now trimmed and combed.

Episode 4 begins with Ironwood telling Mantle (and Atlas) about Beacon being attacked by a faceless coward and declares that Remnant will be defended. He doesn’t announce any plans, but the first thing he immediately does is lower the amount of guards in Mantle, something that gives them room to breathe. The episode introduces us to Robyn’s team and gives them some sort of depth in contrast to “is just a background character who sometimes will have a tweet telling us info like J.K. Rowling doing a Harry Potter info dump”.

Only one of them gets flashback, though. Fiona sees some kids being escorted by Jaune Arc and remembers back when she was a teacher, reading a book to the kids before they were told of the Battle of Beacon and its subsequent fall, sending the kids into fear and panic and summoning the Grimm. We don’t see the end result, but Fiona’s thousand-yard stare and hyperventilating are a clear indicator that it did not end well.

May comes across Henry, who was taking advantage of Mantle’s lower economy to buy groceries on the cheap, and we get confirmation that not only are they cousins but that May had a transition as Henry fails to recognize her. True to form, as soon as he finds out, he has a bit of a freak out before he’s decked by May.

Joanna is the first to encounter Ruby and Weiss, who are out on a routine mission to help stabilize the barrier with earth Dust (remember that’s a thing?), though questions Weiss’s presence. It’s here we get some infodump on what Jacques was up to during her escape. Willow had leaked a recorded video of Jacques hitting Weiss, which earned him some much needed bad press and sinking the SDC stock down to where other Dust Companies are vying to buy it out. It sets up a small character arc for Weiss that’s hopefully more fleshed out than V7’s: should she rescue her father and save the SDC or leave it to crumble and forge her own name? Eventually, she’ll decide on a middle path, preserving the SDC with the help of Ironwood, but making Whitley the one who takes it over, realizing that she can’t worry about the SDC when the world’s at stake.

But more on that later. As for Joanna herself, she speaks with an odd whistle lisp and a smile reveals that her two front teeth had been broken. When Ruby asked what happened to her, she shrugs and says that “I got a dose of reality from a former friend.”. A later scene of her helping out the Faunus gives a bit of an implication that she was one of the kids that Ilia was friends with, namely the one who got the broken teeth.

The biggest character depth moment comes when Robyn sets up a rally, only for hecklers to come and joke at her insistence for Mantle to be its own Kingdom without Atlas watching over them, having had enough with Atlas’s jackboot. One of the hecklers gives a reason that shows a darker side to Atlas: When Mantle lost the war, a chunk of the continent decided to levitate itself away to disassociate with the nation and that chunk became Atlas. It became unanimous that Atlas would rule over Mantle as punishment for causing the war.

Robyn’s desires to make Mantle its own nation once more invites a lot of skepticism and accusations that she’s a Neo-Mantlean, wanting to take away all forms of expression and burn art. Robyn wants none of it and asks Joanna to boot the heckler out, which only solidified his views. Nora sticks around to listen to more, as does Forrest. A small scene also happens where Clover and Qrow experiment with their Semblances before Clover realizes Qrow can’t control his. He then tries to work with Qrow and train him to be able to control it, something that isn’t going to be fully realized until the endgame. We then end the episode on Forrest being killed in the dead of the night, but we don’t see who kills him, just a hint that it may be Tyrian.

Episode 5 is a Weiss-heavy episode. After training with the Ace-Ops, Weiss is called by Winter for a special one-on-one. In reality, she wanted to tell Weiss that Jacques has fallen ill since she left and Willow has had one too many blackouts from her drinking. The Schnee family is falling apart and she gives her the ultimatum of either staying in Atlas to properly take over the SDC, bringing up that she and Ironwood can prove Weiss is sane enough to keep her title of heiress, or stay with RWBY and let the SDC be taken over by a third party that will ultimately be revealed to be Robyn and her Happy Huntresses (i.e. stealing from the rich to give to the poor).

Weiss asks why she doesn’t take it over, to which she reveals that she’ll be the Winter Maiden. Weiss is a little uneasy, remembering what Jaune had told her about Pyrrha (he’d probably either tell her off screen like everything else or bring it up when arguing with Ironwood about keeping the Maiden under lock and key) and asks if she’s okay with it. Winter give her a deadpan look and tells her “if I wasn’t, my name wouldn’t be Winter, now would it?” revealing that this was a name she picked herself and one that had been used for so long, that Weiss has no memory of what Winter’s real first name really was…

But I’m just gonna roll out the charming plot twist and say it’s Whitney. She joined Ironwood before Willow gave birth to Whitley and so he got her name, albeit masculinized.

We cut to Jaune and his team as they go on a mission to help the Ace-Ops clear out a cave. Blake and Yang join too, if only to showcase their new weapons in more detail, with Blake’s weapon upgrade actually having something to benefit it beyond just gorilla glue. Namely, the golden strip is actually a dust crystal and can be used for electrical attacks as a tribute to Ilia. We could even have a small flashback that has Blake specifically request this. It’s kinda ironic, as they’re in the mines where Ilia’s parents died in.

This is the third episode of RWBY basically, though it ends with two scenes. Qrow and Clover talk about the recent killing of Forrest and how Qrow brings up that this was the third person who spoke against Ironwood that had died in a row, having done research on the news when he arrived. They both believe that someone is setting Ironwood up, but Qrow mentions that what’s unnerving him more is his removal of troops. The last time something like this happened, he moved them all to Vale and caused fear for people. Clover says nothing, but reassures Qrow that Ironwood is making a big play.

We end the episode on the air patrol, now with notably fewer ships. One flies towards them. We see people at air control seeing a blip on their radar and just as they’re about to call it out, it disappears. They pass it off as a glitch as we cut to the plane in question…

It’s Watts and Tyrian, the former of which chuckles and notes that, while Ironwood has made an effort to change the code, it just took a bit more brute force on his part to crack and that, with a few more crackings of the code, it’d be easy for him to hack back in. They then notice a second plane flying in. It doesn’t take long for Tyrian to notice that the plane feels “off”, as though this plane isn’t “normal”. Watts just shrugs and hacks the system to let the plane in. As the second plane flies in, we get a zoom in through the windshield and see Neo and Cinder, smug as hell in thinking their disguise was foolproof.

Episode 6 focuses on Ruby and Penny. I’m not going to go into too much detail, but it’s basically the much neglected “hey, Penny, you died. I cried. I missed you.” Bit. Ironwood has recovered much better and he’s looking like he did on the videos now. He even gives the crew a night off, to which Yang and Blake get an invite from FNKI.

Things start to take a turn for the worst when Ren, of all people, asks Ruby how they’re going to beat Salem. Ruby confesses to Ren that she just told Ironwood that to give him some hope. Ren just gives Ruby a cold warning that the man had lost everything, even the will to keep fighting. Giving him hope, only to take it away would only destroy him. Nora can’t help but agree, comparing his situation to how they were given hope of beating Salem only to be told that she’s immortal.

RNR are enroute to a rally: the anniversary of the Fall of Beacon, just to fuck with the fans keeping timelines. I’d play it safe though and say it’s a two-year anniversary. It doesn’t matter, it’s basically to commemorate the fall of Beacon and honor those who have fallen. However, the rally is run by Robyn of all people and Robyn has quite a few things to say about Atlas’s handling of the situation, things that the public would rather not want to hear. Things like how they plotted to attack Beacon once Penny won the tournament but had to accelerate their plans once Pyrrha killed Penny, or how they created the White Fang for the explicit purpose of having a scapegoat.

Obviously, all of these are pure bullshit to which Ruby calls out. The one thing she can confirm is true is the hacking of the robots. While the crowd cheered at Ruby calling Robyn out, they go quiet when she talks about the robots. She makes it clear that it was a third-party that hacked the robots, but it didn’t stop the crowd from trying to get her off the stage. Robyn takes her to the backstage and asks her to shake her hand and tell her exactly what happened at Beacon. Ruby painfully recalls the Fall before shedding tears, though her words ring true for Robyn’s Semblance, prompting to ask about whether Atlas planned on attacking Beacon and being truthfully told no. Robyn has a moment of clarity, but that is halted by screams from the rally.

Meanwhile, Ren and Nora bicker about what to do regarding Ironwood. Nora wants nothing to do with him while Ren just wants to help him the best they can. This eventually goes into the conclusion that Ren has been emotionally distancing himself since they found out about Salem’s immortality and Nora tries to kiss him, only for the lights to go out and the massacre to begin. People try to take out their phones but are quickly taken down. Penny rushes in to try and fight, but she gets out maneuvered, and Marrow also tries, but the assailant purposefully avoids him. By the time Robyn and Ruby get involved, the massacre is over and the lights turn back on as its revealed to be Tyrian, claiming the responsibility for the killings under the White Fang’s name. Before Robyn can attack, Tyrian scurries away and announces to the surviving public that war is coming. Panic maximum is hit as Grimm attack.

Episode 7 is kinda like the Episode 7 of my other rewrite, Grimm attack interrupts FNKI and there’s a large angry mob, but this time, it’s more akin to pandemonium. Not only does the Huntsmen have to fight the onslaught of Grimm, but stop the crazed civilians from lynching the first Faunus they see: Blake and Neon. This leads to a bit where one of them tries to brand Blake with an SDC branding stick and Yang snaps, kicking his ass and, thanks to his lack of aura, crippling or outright killing him. People suddenly remember who Yang is (remember, the whole world saw her injure Mercury) and so they team up on her, beating her up and stealing her metallic arm.

Similar outbursts happen with the other Huntsmen, showing them the worst of humanity encapsulated in a single night and reacting negatively to it. The only person who is above it all is Weiss, who learned her lesson after she snapped at that Trophy Wife, and, as a nod to that, she summons a Boarbatusk when she sees someone making off with Yang’s arm and has the Boarbatusk not gore the person, but take the arm from them and bring it back to Weiss.

I don’t want to make it as dark as the other rewrite’s V7E7 where Penny gets torn apart limb from limb, but I do want to at the very least show just how desperate humanity is when the chips are down, so perhaps crippling Neon with a gunshot to the leg. Just as things are about to get worse, Ironwood personally intervenes with his army of robots as he quickly handles the situation by having those robots subdue the rioters. At first, it seems like he’s being the reasonable authority figure that we all know and love… Then he looks to one of the rioters, the drunk man that Weiss would have tossed into the bin, and tells him “With all the negativity you’re showering onto others, the Grimm are only interested in you right now.” Then, as coldly as the robot he commands, says “Cast these rabble out to the cold.” They comply, much to Ruby’s dismay, as some of the robots throw about a dozen people out of the wall and lock them out. They beg to be let in as we end the episode with a person looking in horror as he sees a Manticore swoop in and we get one of those shots where the monster eats the camera.

Episode 8 begins with a long, silent moment with all the members of RWBY, JNPR, the Ace-Ops, and Qrow in Ironwood’s office. It’s obvious what has to be said, and Nora is the one to say it.

“You sent them out there to die.” She grumbles.

“The longer they remained in Mantle, the longer they caused trouble.” He replies.

“That doesn’t mean you should have killed them!” Nora shouts.

“Would you rather I had my robots shoot them right there? In front of everyone? I’m a general, not a dictator.” James said.

“Well, you certainly acted like one back there.” Nora retorted. We see Clover is a little unnerved with Nora’s replies.

“One of my highest-preforming Huntresses is unable to walk without mechanical equipment because of them and if I had let them stay any longer, I feared that I wouldn’t be able to save her or anyone for that matter. I shouldn’t have gone lenient. Because of that, we now have one of Salem’s minions hiding out in Mantle, ready to strike again and make everything worse.” Ironwood says.

To make a long conversation short, he orders the Ace-Ops track down Tyrian and execute him on sight, along with any other suspected members of Salem, as that’s what they do. Meanwhile he confesses that he hasn’t been truthful to them about something out of fear that the plan would be leaked. He plans to have a satellite built on Amity Arena and hoist it up, using it to reactivate the CCT. There, he will tell the world what Ozpin neglected to tell them: the real cause of the Fall of Beacon is Salem and they must unite to kill her. He labels it as Operation Unifying Freedom. The crowd goes pretty silent as Weiss asks if this would even work, as people may believe it to be a lie. That’s when Ruby gets the idea to bring Robyn into the picture, as she realizes what her Semblance can do.

Ironwood explains that Robyn refuses to work with Atlas and he fears that her stance against Atlas would only make things worse. While he has a point at first, he then continues to spout off how Robyn can’t be trusted in a manner that screams paranoia, thinking that she too could be a spy for Salem without realizing that she has nothing to gain from rallying the citizens of Mantle with conspiracy theories they don’t believe. Oscar calms him down and asks him about Atlas’s Relic, since he wonders how it can be involved in OUF. Ironwood complies and we’ll get a later scene.

From here, we have people assessing the newly found situation. Ruby and Jaune talk about whether she should tell Ironwood about Salem not being able to die. Jaune is pretty insistent that they do before Ironwood steps into matters he has no idea about, reminding her that Pyrrha never found out about Salem when she died.

Ren and Nora confront each other about Ironwood, to which Ren explicitly spells out that they’re doing jack and shit while Ironwood is trying his hardest to help. Nora brings up her “you’re not the one struggling” speech, but with a heavier coding that implies she knows more about Mantle than Ren realizes. Ren ends the conversation by guilt-tripping Nora. “The sooner we beat Salem and place her back in the sludge from which she came, the sooner we could prevent another Kuroyuri from happening.”

Blake visits Neon in a hospital bed, who is bummed out at being told she’ll never walk again with her injury. They have a touching heart to heart where Blake tries to take the blame for the bad things that happened to her, saying that she should have helped improve relations everywhere, only for Neon to tell her that she’s done enough. While at first, it comes off as rude, Neon explains that Blake can’t just change the world on her own, especially with something as deep-rooted as racism. The most she can do is make a change in her area. Neon cites herself as an example. Before, no Faunus were allowed at Atlas or if they did, they have to hide their traits. Neon gave them the middle finger and wore what she wanted, though this earned Ironwood’s respect enough to use his two seats and allow more Faunus in. Marrow comes in as well and we have what we’re going to get in V8, now without the awkward “but they’re enemies now” moment.

Weiss talks to Yang about her family and asks her what to do about it, as she knows too much about abandonment issues from both parents. Yang sits Weiss down and tells her that even though Taiyang didn’t raise her and Ruby for most of their lives and Raven was too busy murdering innocent people to care, they’re still her family. She’s this close to revealing that Raven is the Spring Maiden, but stops herself short. Unfortunately, Weiss hears enough to draw her conclusion later on.

Ironwood and Oscar talk about the Vault and its Relic of Creation.

“So… What? Can it create stuff?” Oscar asks.

“Ozpin knows more about the relic than I do. The most I know is that we can’t use it.” Ironwood said.

“How so?” Oscar asks.

“Because the person that came before Ozpin used the Relic to hoist a chunk of Solitas in the air. He says it’s to be a beacon of hope…” Ironwood then takes a moment to remorsefully look down at the floor. “If only that were true.”

Oscar asks what he means and as we see Weiss go to her father’s house, Ironwood goes into more details about what happened. After the Great War, the people deciding on the Vytal treaty wanted to blame Mantle for kick-starting the war and as such, charged them with repaying for the ten years of damages and severely cripple their military to prevent another war from happening. It was unanimous, but before the charges could apply, the King struck a deal with the nobility of Mantle that, provided they share their newfound technological knowledge with the rest of the world, he would create a loophole by making the Kingdom of Atlas and prevent them from getting caught in the inevitable punishment of Mantle.

Oscar’s clearly distraught that Ozpin would do something like that, since this meant that the real people who were responsible for the war got away and let innocents take the fall. Ironwood, however, sees it as a chance for Mantle to start anew. “Besides, I can’t do anything about it now… If I were to remove the Staff, then this entire place comes crashing down…” We end with Weiss entering the house as Ironwood reveals that one of the nobles who fled punishment were Gele and Schnee, Jacques and Willow’s ancestors respectively. We see that Weiss isn’t alone, as she had brought RBY with her.

Episode 9 is another Weiss-centric episode, as she is brought up to speed as to what happened. Klein got fired and replaced with Faunus servants (if you want to go the extra mile, all of them are rabbit Faunus). Weiss is found by Willow and they have a small chat about the situation at hand. Willow has sobered quite enough, but the damage to her liver is done and she doesn’t expect to live long. Jacques had it worse though. The bad press and subsequent embargo have stressed Jacques out so much that he’s shortened his life expectancy to about a few months, now on his death bed.

Fiona is there too, having an arm in a sling after surviving a lynching from a mob. When asked what she’s doing here, she explains that she’s to oversee the transaction and ensure Robyn has full ownership of the SDC. This puts the cast at an uncertainty because, while they might fully trust Robyn, it’s clear that the supply of Dust that the SDC can provide would bolster the project by tenfold. Penny is also there, since Winter has been her partner since she was rebuilt and thus, is welcomed into the family.

Knowing that she can take over the SDC, Weiss goes in to confront her father. It’s clear that he’s seen better days. His body is bony, his hair is now a full-on toupee, and he’s coughing irregularly as a monitor beeps, acting as a timer for his remaining life. Jacques sees Weiss and glares at her at first, then melts into a serene glance. Weiss doesn’t buy it, but they have a pretty deep conversation about what happened since Weiss ran away, paired with a piano medley of all of Weiss’s theme songs, starting with “The Path to Isolation”, then both parts to “Mirror Mirror”, followed by “It’s My Turn” However, there’s no “This Life Is Mine” anywhere during the chat…

Jacques reveals that business has plummeted since the embargo, though leaving out that smaller tier dust companies that he hasn’t bought out managed to flourish and keep the minimalist economy of Mantle afloat. He talks of all the people he ruined with his practices, starting from recent cases where he reduced people’s wages to the point where they’re working with less than minimum wage, but then dialing back to before the events, where he talks about the unfortunate explosion that claimed Ilia’s parents as well as “a rowdy Faunus I personally had to deal with… I had a hot branding iron, Weiss, normally to brand my property… And…” Blake instantly knows what he’s talking about and runs off. It’s clear that Jacques is having death bed confessions and while Weiss is ready to tear them down, she can’t. She realizes what Yang meant when she said that they’re still family.

However, Jacques then goes back to his old self and calls Weiss out for being the reason his company went under, practically going all “why did you make me hit you” and the harassment causes Weiss to yell at Jacques, telling him that he is everything that’s wrong with the SDC and that the world would be better off without him. She then runs off and Yang tells Ruby they should go, but Ruby insists on staying with a cold expression that scares Yang. She leaves as Ruby just gives him the business.

“You struck my partner… You turned someone into a monster that maimed my sister and haunted her partner… You’re responsible for these radical attacks from Faunus… And yet you never once thought that it’s people like you that are to blame for the problems of the world? Another Great War could happen very soon and you care more about your bottom dollar than the well-being of others… And yet, I’d rather you live, to see us turn the world you and everyone else have corrupted into a better place than what anyone had thought of 80 years ago. I want you to live and see your daughter take your company and use it in ways you can never imagine…”

“… Well, I hate to disappoint you then…” He coughs and flops onto his bed, having gasped his last, the long beep confirming his death. Ruby is shocked as Weiss comes in and sees this. This is where a somber piano rendition of “This Life is Mine” plays, as Weiss breaks down into tears. She wanted this to happen for so long, to take over the SDC from her father, and yet, this wasn’t what she had in mind. Ruby comforts her, but then says this:

“He told me what he could never muster the strength to tell you… He loved you, truly, but he had a funny way of showing it and he apologized for all the pain and torture he inflicted onto others…” She says it in a way that convinces Weiss, but Yang leaves the room, being very shocked with the fact that Ruby straight up lied. Before, telling Ironwood that he could beat Salem and not telling him about the immortality was acceptable since she never once said he could kill Salem and they all understand that delaying her plans counts as “beating”. Now? She pretty much lied to Weiss’s face about what her father said and the worst part is, she can’t properly call her out on it.

Blake and Yang then have a chat about whether this was for the best as the piano song shifts to “Nevermore”, with Yang breaking down and telling Blake: “I lied too! I lied about the Spring Maiden!” However, Blake doesn’t get upset with this, namely because she has no idea what the Spring Maiden fiasco was all about. She notes that they have changed since the Fall of Beacon and this is where Penny comes in, escorting Winter so as to help comfort her when she inevitably sees her father’s cadaver. However, Winter insists she’ll be fine and goes ahead as Penny joins in on the conversation, only to be told by Yang that, no. It will not be like Beacon again. It will never be like Beacon again. They’ve changed so much from the past few months/year that they are barely the same person. Blake even confesses to having taken a life. Penny begins to cry, yet she doesn’t understand why yet, though it’s implied that she is the only one of the characters that hasn’t “grown up” due to her situation.

The piano medley returns to “This Life Is Mine” as Weiss and Winter, taking time to set up an interview, attempt to announce that Weiss is to inherit the title… Only for Weiss to refuse. She makes a speech on how she needs to improve the world and that she will do it more as a Huntress than she would as the owner and so respects her father’s wishes for Whitley to take over the SDC and having Ironwood financially back the company in trade for helping them with a project to reboot the CCT. Ironwood sees this and has a freak-out when she reveals the plans for the CCT, telling Clover that she’s leaking plans.

We see people react to the news unfolding as the song becomes much more sinister and twisted. Cinder and Neo don’t give two shits, but Cinder decides to figure out a means to take this to her advantage. Watts just smirks and mutters that there’s no use as he cracks the code to Mantle’s heating grid and shuts it off. People then begin to freak out as Robyn sees the notification that the SDC will not be bought out by the Happy Huntresses. As May asks Robyn if that’s a problem, she sees people go into a riot before she smirks. “No, no I don’t think it will.” As she says that, the piano makes a full transition to “When It Falls” as we see people raid shops, throw trashcans at TVs, set up huge fires, and toss the robots into the fire, all while Grimm begin to raid Mantle.

Episode 10 kicks off with a large raid alarm as RWBY, JNPR, and even the Ace-Ops and Happy Huntresses try to stave off the raid. This is where things mostly stay the same with the exception of no Ironwood telling everyone his plans. However, Ironwood does take his weapons and goes to the Amity Arena, knowing that at least someone would interfere in his plans. He expresses a bit of shock that it’s Watts who is there, but he doesn’t mind it one bit.

“Thought you died.”

“I did.” He gives a smirk and doesn’t give much detail until…

Episode 11, where a battle causes Watts to get injured and reveals that he’s a robot with his aura implanted into it. “I finally saw what the fat bastard was talking about when he talked of preserving life.” The fights remain the same, but the change begins when Watts has the last laugh, taunting him that his attempts to stop Salem will be fruitless and that he finds using the CCT to rally the world together will only end in pain. Ironwood, determined to stop Salem, drops Watts into the pit of lava, though not before Watts deactivates his robot body and turns it into a conduit to hack into Amity Arena and thus hijack the CCT built inside.

Tyrian is soon beaten and it’s discussed what they should do with him. Robyn wants him to stand trial while Clover wants to execute him. Robyn protests, calling Clover a bootlicker for doing what Ironwood has told him to, but Qrow shuts her up and tells her that Tyrian is a dangerous fucking serial killer that has done far more harm than good. Robyn scoffs, then leaves as Clover prepares to execute Tyrian with his fishing pole (the first time he actually reveals his weapon) and as we see the bob and hook, people might be able to connect the dots…

However, before then, RWBY, having evacuated the people of Mantle (save for the few stubborn ones that they can’t do anything about) and Weiss seeing a homeless Klein and almost sacrificing herself to save and evacuate. Robyn sneaks aboard while RWBY and the Ace-Ops report back to Ironwood over the chess piece he found. Unlike in the original, he is a lot more stable with how he handles it, telling RWBY to go track down Cinder while he prepares the transfer to Winter. This makes Weiss upset though, since this means killing Fria. Ironwood tells them they have no other choice in the matter, since they can’t risk Cinder taking another Maiden power. Ruby manages to convince Ironwood that, they wouldn’t need to do the transfer if they find Cinder first and take her down. He gives them that benefit of the doubt at least.

Meanwhile, inside the craft, Robyn tells the people that this is exactly what Ironwood wants, to corral Mantle and make them dance under his strings until they do what he wants. This actually gets through to the people who are finally fed up with Atlas stomping on them and Robyn enacts a full-blown revolt. Making matters worse is that Salem uses the hacked CCT (in which the virus is basically a digitized Seer) to broadcast herself onto Atlas and Mantle. This is where the scene where Salem appears comes in, but recontextualized because here, she’s talking to everyone, not just Ironwood and RWBY.

She shows just how real she is by commanding some of the Grimm to stop attacking Mantle and return to the tundra, saying how she’ll make the Grimm never bother Mantle again provided they give the Lamp and the Staff to her. Ruby interrupts using her phone and tells her that they’ll beat her, with Ironwood adding that they will destroy her. Salem just laughs, knowing that Ruby has slipped that she knows about Salem. Gives her the famous “your mother” quote, but with the added quote of “None can really kill me… Isn’t that what found out from dear old Ozpin?”

“What is she talking about?” Ironwood asks Ruby, she stammers.

“I… I mean what I said. We can beat Salem-” Then Yang interrupts her.

“But we can’t kill her. We don’t know the full extent but… Ozpin in a past life asked if there was a way to destroy her and he was told that he can’t. So…” Yang looks to Ruby with a disappointed look in her eyes.

Ironwood slumps into his chair as Salem broadcasts her intent to invade Atlas to grab the Relics and that they’d make things much more pleasant for themselves if they handed them over. She gives one last parting remark before she logs out. Now, we can have Ironwood react one of two ways, which would impact the rest of the story.

Either he nuts up and decides to go nuclear on Salem’s ass, stubbornly believing that there has to be a way to destroy Salem and goes all in on having Winter become the Maiden so they can have Atlas go down rather than up. With people comparing this scene to Sokovia, might as well just go all in with the plot, right? Ruby and the others protest that this would end the world with the force Atlas would have, Ironwood goes “with us or against us”, Ruby makes an announcement and calls him a bitch ass motherfucker, and we get the same conclusion as before where the Ace Ops turn on RWBY.

Or

He sits calmly. Ruby can see the lights in his eyes fade as the Ace-Ops panic. Even Weiss and Blake are afraid. Ruby then tells Ironwood that they have to do something, only for Ironwood to smile and say “Ruby… There’s a solution here you’re not seeing…” Before he pulls out his white gun and puts it at his head, ending the episode with a literal bang.

Either way, the Ace-Ops turn on RWBY, either by following orders or because they blame Ruby for filling Ironwood with false hope, with Harriet calling it a disease and that Ruby spreads it around like a plague.

If we don’t end the episode with Ironwood’s suicide, then we end with Tyrian musing and commenting on how Ironwood has picked a new attack dog. Qrow is confused at this before he remembers all the murders that were caused. At first, he suspected it to be Tyrian, but as Clover looks on, he puts two and two together and asks:

“… No… You didn’t…”

“Sometimes, you have to pull a few bad weeds to keep your clover patch alive…” He coldly says.

Episode 12 picks up right where the last episode would leave off, with Clover and Qrow having a stand off, with Clover explaining that the Ace-Ops aren’t called that because they’re the best, far from it, but because they’re willing to do the things no normal person would do, and that includes killing certain people to keep the system alive. Qrow tries his hardest not to fight Clover, but unfortunately for him, Clover concludes that he is to die alongside Tyrian, who has healed. Like in the previous fixing Volume 7 thing I did, the fight becomes more of a proper melee a trois where Clover, Tyrian, and Qrow battle each other equally.

Tyrian, in the middle of this, says how he used to be Ironwood’s attack dog before his destructive nature caused Ironwood to fire and arrest him before said behaviour stings his metaphorical froggy ass (remember that old fable he’s based off?) and notes how Clover takes after him with how the bob and hook look eerily like a scorpion stinger, hence how he put two and two together. The fight gets pretty brutal before Qrow ends up finally managing to control his Semblance by figuring out where to target. He ends up targeting Clover and cancels out the good luck he has, putting him on an even level, then slipping the bad luck over to Tyrian to trip the both of them up. It ends the same, with Qrow punching Clover’s aura. Clover tells Qrow that he’s willing to die for his Kingdom and asks if that’s something Qrow would do. Tyrian stabs Clover, leaves as he hears the cops come, and Clover, in his last words, just tells Qrow “you and your entire team… you killed us all!” Qrow then closes his eyes and cries, saying “Yeah, I know…”

Like in the previous rewrite, we have Neo take the relic from Oscar, but she’s stopped by a mob of people that are raiding the base. JNR find Neo and Oscar decks her in the face, but it’s clear they’re outnumbered… Only for the mob to remember the four and help them, one of them telling Neo that if they mess with one with them, she messes with all of them.

RWBY vs the Ace-Ops… goes the same. But now we don’t have the “they’re the best of the best but then they trained RWBY” BS.

Episode 13 has the crowd mess with Neo, but even so, she outmaneuvers them and kills a few of them. In the chaos, she takes the Relic of Knowledge as guards come in and gun down the crowd. Jaune runs, only before seeing one of the kids getting shot as well. Jaune just freaks out, then rushes in and kills one of the guards. A robot catches footage of this and he’s suddenly on the wanted list. He tells Ren and Nora to run with Oscar as he holds off the guards. Robyn helps Jaune out in taking out the guards last minute.

Everything with Penny, Winter, Fria, and Cinder are the same. The ending, however, depends on what happened to Ironwood.

Ironwood Lives Ending: He orders every intruder to be killed on sight, prompting RWBY, Nora and Ren to flee to Mantle. Oscar stays behind and talks to Ironwood before he gets shot and Ozpin comes back. This is the most in line to V7’s ending.

Ironwood Dies Ending: The crowd easily overpower the military and take over, but now have crippled themselves as Salem’s forces arrive. Robyn does not care though, as she tosses Ironwood’s corpse out the window and towards the icy depths below before taking over his position. “Headmaster Hill… Has a nice ring to it…” RWBY and JNPR reconvene as they bare witness to Salem’s forces arriving. Blake asks Ruby:

“What do we do now?”

To which Ruby replies:

“Now? Now we save the world.” Before we end with her cocking her rifle.

The Stinger would be Ozpin coming back to Oscar and telling him that the fate of Remnant is not for him and his faction to decide on anymore. That it now rests in the new generation. He passes on and it’s Oscar who becomes the dominant as all the memories of Ozma’s lives come back. Oscar is now filled with determination.

And with that, that’s how I’d do Volume 7 if the Mantle subplot was more akin to the post 9/11 environment than it is 2016 Elections, with bits of modern-day politics and even a bit of Stalinism involved. The Penny Subplot can either be in this Volume unaltered or to be decided upon next Volume.

[hannahmcne]

Lost on the Case - Chapter 7

At five o'clock Alya couldn't sleep, so she slipped out of the room as silently as possible without waking Nino. She went to the living room and spread out an arsenal of lined paper, black and blue pens, and sticky notes. She was going to crack this case once and for all.

Armed with at least four hours of sleep and a renewed vision of what had occurred almost ten years ago, she opened up her video of Chat Noir's email. Using frequent pausing, she was able to read the entire contents.

The Marinette emails were seven in quantity. They were short, out-of-context, and showed a side of her friend that Alya had never seen. They'd been sent over a period of two days and changed a lot of what Alya thought about the case.

CN: This is Chat Noir, reporting for duty. Do I read my princess?

MDC: Hey kitty. Glad it worked.

CN: Me too. Could have been catastrophic if someone else had gotten this

MDC: Created a new email address. La_coccinelle.

CN: Sweet. Just sent an email. Did it work?

MDC: Yup.

CN: Sweet. Make sure to delete these emails on your end on the off-chance someone reads your emails after we're gone.

Alya felt like she was fourteen again, famous for running after akumas and uploading stories about the symbolic history of ladybugs. One large half of her was overjoyed at what she'd discovered. Namely 'my best friend is on a nickname basis with one of Paris's superheroes' and 'Chat Noir puns in his emails'. But a very small portion of her spirit was shivering. Marinette had created the Ladybug address. She scribbled on a paper to keep her mind going, even though she was afraid of what she'd find.

Problem: Marinette created the Ladybug email.

Solutions/Options: It's the real account, or it's not.

And, of course, on that note, Chat Noir had definitely planned to leave to somewhere with Marinette.

With shaking hands, she started the portion of the video with the Ladybug emails. There were more of these, twenty-three in all. They spanned the time up until the night Marinette was kidnapped, even going past Adrien's death.

1. CN: Do I read my Princess?

2. LB: This account is actually under Ladybug, but you can call me whatever. Either way, it's me.

3. CN: Kay. I found a house. 420€ yearly rental. It's large, out of way. Two-story.

4. LB: Bed/Bath?

5. CN: Four baths and seven-bed.

6. LB: Wow, large. Sounds good. Rented car yet?

7. CN: No but I found a place. I'll actually step in and rent it after I've died.

8. LB: Kay. I'll suit up and hit up Alya and Chloe today. When does Nino get back?

9. CN: Late tomorrow. I can drop off to him.

10. LB: Great.

11. CN: I'm just about to push my fake body out the window, then I'll head over.

12. LB: Make it to the house okay?

13. CN: Yup. Put your things in a spare room. I'm going to order in for a few essential furniture items. Pls help?

14. LB: Use francecanape.

15. CN: Kay. Have things blown up yet?

16. LB: Sorry to have taken so long. Yes, things were dreary at school today. A gardener discovered your body before lunch, so when we came back from break Ms. Bustier was crying. I think I did well pretending I didn't know what was coming. Chloe left school. Nino was taken out of class and sent home. The lesson was canceled. Great day. Everyone misses you.

17. CN: I miss everyone. Do you think you played the sad crush part well enough?

18. LB: Knowing you were actually alive made it hard, so there weren't any tears. I just went unresponsive until Ms. Bustier sent me to the nurse. Then I went home with a nurse ticket and watched sad videos on YouTube until my face was red. Alya didn't pry, so I think I did good. I just got off of a facetime with her.

19. CN: Clever bug. Did my dad say anything?

20. LB: Not yet. I'll keep you updated. LMK when you come back to get me.

21. CN: On my way. Ready to be kidnapped?

22. LB: I'm wearing a black jacket with white buttons and red leggings. I'll leave in thirty-two minutes.

23. CN: I'd know you anywhere, my lady. Lying in wait and in position. See you soon. (I love you)

Alya began to cry. She'd forgotten so many details. She'd missed how Marinette hadn't cried. She remembered that stupid FaceTime.

The door to the bedroom down the hall opened and Nino emerged, rubbing his eyes. "Alya?" He mumbled. "Why are you up?" He came over and squinted at the screen. Alya wasn't sure he could read anything through the layers of eye boogers around his lids, but he still leaned down to hug her.

"Figure it out?" He asked.

Alya nodded into his shirt.

"Tell me." He murmured. He adjusted her in his arms and rubbed her back soothingly. Alya wiped her eyes.

"Adrien was the kidnapper. He pushed a fake body out of his window – I'm not sure how it passed as real, but I almost don't want to know. He and Marinette planned the entire kidnapping and were emailing each other thirty minutes before they staged it. The car was a rental. I- I need to find it." Alya reached toward her computer. Her fingertips felt numb. Since all the rental companies were still closed, she took a chance and went back to her public-domain file finder again. Nino watched over her shoulder as within minutes, she found a record that matched perfectly.

"White, four-door, tinted Chevrolet hatchback taken out on the same day Marinette was kidnapped. The name was Bryce Papenbrook. In Paris for a quick vacation. According to this court record, he came in the next day and explained that the car had been totaled in an off-road accident. He agreed to pay for the car in full and produced the entire cost – €16,919 - in cash, upfront. The company didn't press charges and only filed a record to explain why one car had been blacked out from the records. They also asked him to please refrain from renting in the future." Alya summarized as she read.

Nino grunted. "So, if Adrien took out €40,000 and the car was €16,919-"

"Plus initial renting charge of about thirty-five euros." Alya interrupted.

"Right." Nino agreed. "That's like, twenty-four thousand left."

"And they're renting a house." Alya flipped back to the emails. "See? And it's a large house too. They've got a great rate on it too. A house like that…" Alya thought. "Well, it depends on where they are. In a smaller town, maybe four-hundred euros is a reasonable amount, but in Paris... She trailed off. "I wonder if Adrien kept using that name?"

She cleared her public records finder and took thirty extra seconds to also clear her cookies so that the website wouldn't give her biased reports. Then she entered the name Bryce Papenbrook. A slew of records came up. Bryce shared the same birthday as Adrien but was three years older. He was married to a woman named Christina whose maiden name was Vee. Coincidentally, Christina shared the same birthday as Marinette, but was also three years older. They had a house together at 830 Whitebreak Road in Winebrook(Pronounced Vine-brook.).

Alya looked at the housing record a little closer. It was a large house with two stories plus a basement, open-concept kitchen, four baths and seven-bed. It matched what Chat had described to Ladybug with extra details. And to top it all off, they'd had it for ten years as of six days ago.

Nino opened his phone while Alya stared numbly at her screen. He opened Facebook and searched for Bryce Papenbrook. Third down on the list of related people was a picture of Marinette and Adrien sitting on the ground together, dressed in shades of black and dark red. Adrien had a smile that was more Chat than Adrien, and Marinette smiled sweetly like she had a secret no one could guess as she leaned into Adrien's touch. They were older, meaning it was more recent than their kidnappings. Nino nudged Alya to show her.

The cover photo was another one of Marinette and Adrien, and the rest of the account was private. But it was under the name Bryce Papenbrook, which confirmed everything they needed to know.

Alya went back to the settings of Chat Noir's email. She hadn't noticed it before, but the primary recovery email was set to . A teacher's email. Alya examined the phone number attached to the account and grabbed her phone.

"You're not really going to call him, are you?" Nino asked.

Alya cleared her throat two or three times in answer. She pursed her lips and then stretched them as wide as she could. Nino had to resist the urge to laugh. Then, Alya glanced at the clock. It was almost six. With any luck, Brye would be asleep. She dialed the number and put it on speaker at least three feet from her. No one picked up, so she dialed again. This happened twice more before the receiving end clicked.

"Mhello?" Someone groaned on the other end through a yawn.

"Hello this is Frances DoGood and I'd like to schedule a flight for thirteen-o'clock?" Alya said in a high-pitched voice. She kept her lips poised like she was whistling, not speaking. She sounded like an old lady.

"Mmph. What?" The voice on the other end was distorted through fabric noises and the general sounds of someone very sleepy.

"I need a flight from Versailles to Brussels at thirteen-o'clock." Alya repeated in her funny voice.

"Lady, this isn't the airport."

"This isn't Orlay?" Alya acted innocent.

"I think you mean Orly. No, I'm… Bryce Papenbrook. Not the airport. I can… find you the right number if you want?" It was clear that he really, really wanted to go back to sleep. Nino felt bad for the poor guy.

"Oh, no thank you. I think my phone can tell me. Sorry to bug you." Alya smiled wickedly. Nino almost laughed.

"No problem." If the action of rolling your eyes could be expressed in a sound, that was what came through the speaker. Nino bit his lip. A colossal yawn followed. "Goodbye."

"Bye!" Alya hung up. Nino burst into laughter, which filled their whole apartment and almost made up for the sadness of Alya's breakdown. Alya tapped her fingers on her laptop to let out some loose energy.

"That was Adrien." She said after Nino calmed down. "Could you hear him?"

Nino nodded. "It sure sounded like him."

"That means now I have his phone number, his email, and his address." Alya schemed as she closed all the tabs open on her screen and opened a blank google.

"And to think he was dead four days ago," Nino mumbled. "I just heard my best bud's voice for the first time in ten years."

"I know. Crazy, right?" Alya mumbled.

Nino looked at the screen she was on as she typed. He sat up straight. "What are you doing?" He demanded.

The screen showed the Paris Metro out of the city. Alya was booking a ride to Winebrook. She shrugged at Nino's expression.

"Adrien and Marinette ditched us without a word, so they'll have to deal with me dropping in unannounced to ask a few questions," Alya said.

"Us." Nino corrected.

Alya smiled and upped the passenger count to two. "Us." She confirmed. Once booked, she shut the laptop.

"Should we mention this to anyone?" Nino asked as she stood up and walked to the bedroom. "Marinette's parents, Chloe, Mr. Agreste?" He trailed off.

Alya pulled off her pajama top and began rifling through her wardrobe for a shirt. "I'll send Queen Bee a message through André Bourgeois's hotel management that she'll have to manage Paris for two or so days, and I'll tip off Marinette's parents and extend an invitation for them to tag along. As for Gabriel Agreste…" Alya made a disgusted face. "If you want to be the one to call him and say his son is alive, be my guest."

Nino held up his hands in surrender. "No thanks, hun. I'm not opening that can of worms. Guess Gabriel Agreste ain't getting told."

Alya smirked. "I guess not."

______________________________________________________________

After a three-hour subway ride, Alya, Nino, Tom, and Sabine stepped off with luggage in tow onto the smallest station Alya had ever seen. Winebrook had a population of barely five-hundred. There was one elementary, and one dual high school/junior high building. One hometown market store, one police station, no visitor center and two playground/park areas. There were no asphalt roads. On the bright side, it was one of the cleanest, prettiest towns Alya had ever seen. She had brought along her personal DSLR to take photos, and got shots many of the pretty, dated homes along the streets. Children ran in the road and many people stopped to ask who they were. Alya got the sense they were a close-knit community where everyone knew everyone.

They wandered up and down the roads for about ten minutes, but the town didn't seem to have an in-order numbering system. Finally, Nino stopped at a house where children's shoes were strewn across the porch to ask for directions to the Papenbrook's home. A preteen with unwashed hair and cowgirl boots led the way at her mother's request. Two kids, aged seven and four, followed her as she took them to the very last road in town. It was about a ten-minute walk from the subway station. The girl asked them all their names, where they were from, and what they did as small talk. When Alya mentioned she was a reporter, the girl scrunched her eyes up.

"Are you reporting on Christina's dresses?" She asked.

Alya shook her head, a little confused. The girl shrugged. "Christina designs dresses. Apparently, she's in with Gabriel Agreste and he does the advertising for some of her designs. She does prom dresses for some of the girls in town."

Nino choked a little. The girl studied him. He straightened up under her gaze. Finally, she looked back at Tom and Sabine. "You say you're bakers?" She asked. "Christina can bake really well. She always donates cakes and cupcakes to the school bake sell. Mom commissioned her to make my birthday cake last year."

Alya kept her mouth shut. Designing and baking… sounded like Marinette had included herself into the community.

Their new friend took them to the very last house on the very last road in town. The houses here were newer or remodeled.

The house she left them at had tan stucco with dark brown shingles and white trim. The windows were rectangular, and the door was made of stained wood. There was a sidewalk path leading up to the porch and a gravel driveway. The house had a large, grassy yard with rose bushes under the windows and a large tree growing about ten feet from the house. A rope swing and a treehouse were supported by the tree's large branches. A group of kids was playing in the yard with Nerf Guns, Barbies, and Lincoln Logs. The oldest kids were around ten, and the youngest around two. At least fifteen kids were hanging out at the Papenbrook house.

The kids looked up when Nino opened the white gate but overall ignored them. They continued with their game, giving a few curious looks but asking no questions. The four adults wheeled their suitcases up to the door. Alya pressed the buzzer and then fidgeted as they waited for the door to open.

There were footsteps behind the door, and a woman nearing middle-age with a head full of black, wavy hair opened the door. Marinette was looking over her shoulder as a complaining toddler followed her toward the door. Alya inhaled sharply.

Marinette looked at her guests and her welcoming smile dropped off her face. "Alya?" She asked. The years melted away, and suddenly Alya felt like the nineteen-year-old girl who'd gotten off a FaceTime call with her best friend after the boy in their class committed suicide. She hiccupped and reached out for a hug without a single word.

[grantner]

Winter

There are few pleasures in life that can rival that of sleep. I mean good sleep. Good sleep is certainly as good as a good meal.

Like eating, sleeping is a must—it sustains and replenishes the body. Like eating, sleeping may be perfunctory, if need be. It can be forced into a slot of time stolen from a busy schedule, as a simple recharging of the biological machine. Or it can be appreciated aesthetically, it can be savored and relished.

The good meal is eaten with a meticulous leisure, with each bite carefully masticated and savored so as to fully appreciate and deconstruct the subtle complexities; each pause between courses used to reflect upon the pleasure just experienced and to anticipate those to come.

It is the same with good sleep. It delights the epicurean. Each change of bodily position and adjustment of the pillow or blanket—each emergence from deep sleep, to a shallower half sleep—is a joy, is a pause to smile and celebrate and degust the sweet delight before sinking back into the depths.

I was enjoying such a sleep—a rare, exquisite, blissful slumber—burrowed snugly beneath a quilted blanket on a cold night in December, 1997.

Until my telephone rang.

Suddenly bolting upright my eyes snapped open. I was at once angry and disappointed at the rude disruption of sweet sleep. The alarm clock’s LED glowed an ominous fiery red 2:34 am.

Goddammit! A phone call at 2:34 am is either a life or death emergency for anybody I happen to know, or some asshole had dialed the wrong number. Sonuvabitch!

I stumbled out of bed on wobbly stiff jointed legs, raced to the phone, cleared my throat and rasped,

“H’llo?”

An aged female voice answered, “Hello… I’m sorry to bother you… I’m looking for Martin Grantner… he used to live in Chicago and you’re the only Grantner I could find listed in Chicago. Do you know Martin?”

Martin Grantner… I know that name, I thought as I struggled to wake up…  Of course, of course. Uncle Marty.

“Uh yes, yes, Martin Grantner is… um, he was my Uncle. I’m his brother Joe’s son.”

“Do you have a phone number for him? An Address?”

“Oh no, no… I’m sorry. He passed away.”

“Oh-h…” her voice trailed off. I could hear her emotinal pain. “When?”

“Uh, jeez. Let’s see, musta been twenty years ago, I guess? Um, no wait… no, longer than that. It was in the early seventies, I think.”

Notorious Uncle Marty. Uncle Marty the Lothario. I’d heard the stories, piecemeal as I grew up, spoken in hushed whispers (with sanctimonious nods, pursed lips and arched eyebrows) by my mother and aunts. Bad Uncle Marty with the uncountable illegitimate children and jilted women left in his wake. Eventually one of the many women was able to force him to the altar, their unborn son in attendance, and he settled down (we think) to married life and five more legitimate children.

He wasn’t attractive in any conventional sense; no prettyboy. Indeed, he was undeniably homely, although to call him “ugly” would be an overstatement. Short and sinewy and beanpole skinny, he had a horsey looking face with prominent cheekbones, a long sharp nose and an overbite. Uncle Marty wasn’t too bright. Not like his brothers and sisters mind you, who all simply lacked formal education, but in fact slightly dimwitted. His laugh (and he laughed often) was an invariably unsubtle, goofy guffaw with eyes shut tight and head thrown back to display a prominent adam’s apple and large teeth. I remember being embarrassed as an adolescent at family functions whenever he laughed. Nevertheless it was a genuine, honest laugh. Like a small child, he laughed from the very bottom of his heart. He was always irrepressibly affable and fun loving and found joy in everything, and that must have been the key to his success as a philanderer.

Many philanderers (perhaps most, I think) have a deep seated contempt for women. The pleasure they take is not in so much in hedonistic sensual gratification, but rather it is in dominating and objectifying women. The real turn on for them is in humiliating a woman by rejecting her after having used her. I believe that Uncle Marty was not at all like that. I think he was simply an irresponsible happy-go-lucky twit; the pampered child of the family who was never held accountable for his actions, seldom considered consequences and never grew up.

Holy shit! Now it seemed that one of his old flames had called me. Maybe some floozy—as she would have been called in the nineteen thirties or forties—or perhaps some nice girl that he had deflowered. Uncle Marty may have been the one true love of her life or just the best fuck she had ever had, or maybe both. In any case he must have been special since she was thinking of him on a sleepless Winter night, near Christmas and New Year when most people wax nostalgic, sixty years later. Now I felt pity for her and guilt for having been annoyed a moment earlier.

“I knew the Grantners,” she said,  “…I was Marty’s friend… in Chicago, years ago, before World War II. I hope you don’t mind… could you tell me something about him? Did he have a family?”

“Oh… sure, sure. Yes, he had a family. He married a woman named Mary, must’ve been in 1945 or ‘46… um… I forgot her maiden name… something Irish… they had six kids. He worked at the Ford plant until he retired. They moved out of the Chicago area, to New Mexico, in the late sixties or early seventies. That’s where he died. A couple of his sons (and maybe a daughter?) lived there too. Still do.”

“What did he die of?”

“Cancer of some sort. I forgot exactly what kind of cancer, but I know it was cancer.”

“Is his wife still alive? Do you see his kids? (You don’t mind me asking, do you?)”

“Oh no, no problem. Yeah, I think his wife is still alive in New Mexico. Like I said two of his sons and maybe a daughter live there. The oldest kid, a boy, he’s there. He became a Franciscan brother. The other kids are married and have children. I know one daughter lives out this way in northwest Indiana. Another daughter just kind of disappeared… fell in with a bad crowd… motorcycle gang or drug dealers or something… nobody knows where she is now. That’s about all I know. I’m afraid I was never very close to them.”

“What about Marty’s brothers and sisters?”

“Most of them are dead too. My dad—Joe—he’s still alive.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t really know him.”

“Yeah, you wouldn’t, he wasn’t around much at that time. He was out on his own when you knew Marty. Leo is still alive. That’s all. Just Joseph and Leo are still alive.”

“Yes, I remember Leo. And some sisters…” Her voice was wistful now.

“You probably didn’t know the oldest sister, Mary. She was married long before the family moved to Chicago. There was Annette and Christine. And there were two other older brothers, Bill and Gus. Bill (his name was Bela, actually, but he went by “Bill”) was married in ‘29, so he didn’t live with the rest of the family then.”

“Yes, I remember Christine and another sister and Leo and a crippled brother…”

“That was Gus.”

“Yes, Gus, I remember now… Well… Uh…” There was an awkward silence. “That’s all, I guess. Thank you very much for talking to me. I’m sorry to disturb you. I see it must be almost three in the morning out by you. I’m so sorry, I must have woken you up!” She was clearly embarrassed. “I live in Washington state so I’m a couple hours ahead of you. See, I wasn’t sleeping and I dialed information looking for ‘Grantner’ in Chicago, see, and the operator, she just connected me… I thought she’d give me a phone number, but she just connected me… I’m so sorry I woke you up…”

“That’s OK, that’s OK. I don’t mind. Glad I could help.”

“Well, thank you again. Goodbye.”

“‘Bye.”

I hung up and stood for a moment, staring at the phone. By this time I was fully awake and had my senses.

Dammit! Why didn’t I ask for her name? And a phone number? (I didn’t have ‘Redial’ or 'Caller ID’ back then.) I could have passed that on to Dad and Uncle Leo. Maybe they’d remember her. Maybe they would want to talk to her. The three of them would have probably enjoyed swapping memories. Shit!

I shuffled back to bed, laid down and stared at the ceiling until the alarm clock went off at seven.