#of course it's Shoker

[kyratittyfish]

Plot a course to singularity

Summary: After a long day at the helm, Joker relaxes in Shepard's cabin. Sequel to "Anytime, Jeff" Thank you to my muses/betas @commander-krios and @spaced0lphin Warning: smut Read on Ao3

Numbers. Random tidbits of sentences. Weapon charts. Strategy maps. Some more numbers, because why the fuck not. 

Angela rubbed her eyes, willing the characters on her computer screen to stop jumping up and down like pyjaks on a trampoline, but the only thing she achieved was painting colorful speckles over her vision. She blinked them away, wishing she could do the same for her tiredness.

Or for Reapers. 

With a sigh, she forced herself to focus on her task for a little longer. These reports were just so boring. 

She’d almost managed to read a full page – an Alliance News Network report on the consequences of the Reaper invasion on pirate activity in the Terminus systems – when her cabin door sliding open gave the finishing blow to the last frayed strands of her concentration. 

“Hey Jeff,” she said without turning around. He was the only person she’d instructed EDI to let inside her cabin beside herself; she didn’t need to see him to know who he was. 

He shuffled inside, letting the door close behind him, and muttered a soft “hey babe”.

What time was it? She must have lost track of time reading debriefs if he was away from the helm already, which meant dinner was about to be served in the mess hall, and she hadn’t even gone through half of the reports she’d planned on tackling yet. Crap. 

“Is it shift change already?” she asked, shutting down her datapad and settling it on top of an ever-rising pile of documents. “Time flies when you’re having fun.” 

“Uh, not really, actually. Just started early this morning, so I figured I could clock out early too. Well, EDI did.”

He sounded tired. His voice lacked his usual witty undertones, and when she finally spun around in her chair, he looked tired too. His posture was stiffer than usual, and the circles under his eyes darker. Bad pain day, she figured. With the stress of the war and the late working hours, such days had been increasing in frequency and, as much as he tried to downplay it, severity. He kept his discomfort well-hidden, but he had his tells. 

He shifted his weight from one foot to the other, his left cheek twitching slightly. The pained smirk flashed over his features for barely more than an instant before he suppressed it, but she noticed it all the same, just like she spotted the way his fist clenched inside the pocket of his baggy hoodie.  

“Why do I get the feeling that she had to physically remove you from your chair?” Angela asked, getting a soft chuckle out of him. His pilot seat was practically a part of him, even more so since the reintroduction of its prized leather lining.

He crossed his arms over his chest. The glow of the aquarium reflected on his features, making his mocking frown look even more theatrical. His hair and beard, normally a rusty shade of brown, glimmered shades of blue in the soft light. 

“Hey! She only had to threaten it a couple of times. Plus, she said she’d hack the heating module on it until, quote unquote, her sensors detected that my gluteal muscles were perfectly simmered.”

In one swift movement, she crossed the room and planted a gentle but firm hand on his backside. 

“Oh, good thing you listened to her then. Can’t risk ruining such a perfectly good butt.” She squeezed her hand around his ass, feeling his muscles tighten and relax as he erupted with laughter. 

Despite the faint light that barely lit her cabin, she was sure the hint of a blush was creeping up his neck to his cheekbones. 

Still giggling under her breath, she rested her chin over his shoulder. With every breath, it rose and fell, ever so slightly. She closed her eyes. Somehow, just knowing he was still breathing made the world feel a little less overwhelming. With a sigh, he leaned closer and laid his cheek against her head. 

“Wanna go have dinner?” He asked after a few moments. “I hear today’s special is rehydrated frozen vat meat, with a side of rehydrated frozen potatoes and rehydrated frozen sour cream. And if we’re lucky, we may even snack a piece of rehydrated frozen fruitcake!”

“As enticing as that sounds… I think I’ll skip,” Angela answered, massaging her temple. The beginnings of a headache were forming there, and the prospect of venturing into the noisy, bright mess hall made her feel nauseous. Judging by the tired expression on Jeff’s face and his slouched stance, he wasn’t too keen on the idea either. 

Still, he made a show of arching his eyebrow and groaned in disappointment. 

“You can go grab a bite if you want to, I’ll wait for you here. Or we can go later together, I’m sure Webb will use his power as a mess Sergeant to save something for us.” 

He narrowed his eyes, stroking his chin in thought. “Think there are takeout restaurants that do ship-to-ship delivery round here?”

She buried her face in his hoodie and snorted. “I think we’re a few too many light years away from civilization for that.”

His reflection in the aquarium glass pouted, and his shoulders sagged a little under her chin.

“Good point,” he said with a shrug. “I’m more, uh, tired than hungry anyway.” 

That was as good of an open admission of his physical discomfort as she was ever going to get from him. He’d gotten more comfortable with showing vulnerability around her, but still, old habits died hard and his fierce display of independence was the toughest of them all. 

She got it. She was the same. If Jeff was a stubborn man, Angela was him and a half. Every step of her own career, she had to prove herself time and time again, living up to that lofty last name that had all but decided her path in life before her life had even begun. She proved her worth, her ideas, her tenacity. She proved her sanity when she showed the galaxy that the monsters under their beds were always real.

Hell, the point of her whole N7 training was to prove that she could survive on her own. So, sue a woman for going overboard with taking home the lesson.

Fuck yeah, she got him. Their struggles were different, but their determination was the same.

“What about this,” Angela offered. “We relax in bed for a while, then I go grab some food for the both of us, and we eat it in bed?”

“Like the filthy animals that we are?”

“Yup. Exactly like the filthy animals that we are. So, what do you say about that?”

He giggled and wrapped one arm around her. “I say that’s the best fucking plan I’ve ever heard.”

Jeff groaned as he sat down on the foot of the bed and knelt down to untie his boots (he wasn’t that filthy of an animal to keep his shoes on in bed). Damn, he was sore. 

Know what would be heaven right now? A hot bath. 

One of those fancy ones they showed in Illium hotels commercials, with bubbles and rose petals and scented soaps. With water that stayed perfectly warm the whole time, that he could enjoy while lying down, closing his eyes and letting the jet streams work their magic on his tender muscles. 

With a very naked Angela playing with bath bombs next to him, of course. 

Knowing her, though, the bombs would actually explode. 

Scratch that, a hot shower will do.

Later, though. He had an appointment with Shepard, her bed, and some food first. 

He toed off his boots and socks, and felt the mattress shift under Angela’s weight as she settled behind him. She rested her hands on his shoulders and started rubbing circles at the base of his neck. 

He sighed – that felt good – and tilted his head to give her easier access to the worst of his tension knots. A pleasant heat radiated from where her fingers kneaded his achy muscles, applying just enough pressure to ease the tightness in them without hurting him. He hummed, and she leaned closer to land delicate kisses between his shoulder and his neck. 

“You like that?” She whispered, her voice soft and husky in his ear. 

Liked that was a massive understatement, but his brain and his tongue were working on different wavelengths tonight and he wasn’t sure there were enough words in the human language to tell her exactly how close to his melting point she was taking him. 

They said heaven was a place beyond the clouds, and here, lost between the stars and her miraculous touch, he was inclined to believe it.

“Hm-mmmh,” he moaned, and fought against the torpor that was taking over his limbs to raise a hand and take her fingers in his, bringing them closer to his lips to let his kisses speak on his behalf. 

She untangled her fingers from his and reached forward to fiddle with the buttons of his uniform shirt. 

“Wha-” he questioned her, but she shushed him and kept working on undoing the buttons.

“Just relax and let me take care of you.”

And so he did. He didn’t have it in him to protest, and why would he want to stop her anyway? She finally reached the last button and pulled the lower hem of his shirt out of his pants, kissing his neck as she leaned forward. He let her pull his shirt off, and the wave of trite insecurities that barged into his mind, violently pushing against the soft bliss, gave him his answer. 

He fought the familiar urge of wrapping his arms around himself, of pulling away from her touch, tithing beneath the bedsheet to cover himself from her eyes. He wanted her, and most importantly she wanted him. She’d seen his naked body dozens of times already and, if the usual passion of her lovemaking was any indicator, she fucking loved it. 

And loved fucking it. 

He snickered to himself. Thinking of Angela's freely bouncing breasts did wonders to push nasty feelings away.

Her arms, those strong, battle-scarred arms that counted as a lethal weapon on their own, were delicate as a feather as they wrapped around his bare torso, pulling him closer to her body. He closed his eyes and leaned back against her, letting her engulf him with her kisses and caresses and love.

She buried her fingers in his hair, brushing through it and gently massaging his scalp, and oh my god is this what happiness feels like?

The sensation was so overwhelming that he almost didn’t realize tears were freely rolling down his cheeks. She silently wiped them away with one light touch. 

“Come here and lay face down,” Angela instructed him, moving further up on the bed. He obliged, and she straddled him, supporting her own weight with her legs planted down on either side of his hips. She began to knead his back, starting from his neck and shoulders and moving further down, pressing and rubbing her thumbs in circles around his spine and rolling the heels of her palms towards his sides. 

“Oh my gahwd” he moaned into his pillow, and folded his arms under his chin as her gentle but firm hands instructed him to do. 

She giggled and kept working the side of her palms between his shoulder blades. “How am I doing?”

He managed to recall his brain from the seventh heaven where it was currently residing to give her a muffled “please, never ever stop.”

“Doing what?” Her fingertips traced the thin, pale surgical scar that ran almost the whole length of his spine, and her hot breath tickled his skin as she leaned close to place kisses where it started, a few inches below his shoulders. 

“Doing what you do,” he answered her as her hands moved towards his lower back, right where his muscles were sorest. “Not just being the sexy badass hero type, I mean. Doing… this. Being you. With me.”

She went quiet for a few seconds, and her touch grew lighter. “Thank you for letting me be me,” she finally said. “With you.”

Awkwardly, he rolled onto his back and placed his hands on her waist. Outside the window, blue flashes of mass effect fields framed her silhouette like a halo; bathed in starlight, she was a celestial body herself, eternal and astonishingly beautiful. 

There were a thousand words he wanted to tell her, a hundred declarations of love, but all his lips could do was meet hers and kiss her until they were both gasping for air, running their hands over each other’s body, jostling with zippers and buttons and too many layers of clothing, until there was nothing between them but desire and adoration.

Ice blue eyes meeting his, she guided him inside her to ride him under the blanket of stars. Her hips moved with maddening slowness, her open palms pressing slightly on his chest in a silent appeal to let her set the pace.

The pale glisten of distant suns bled through the window, bathing her in celestial light. It caressed her milky skin, accentuating the geometry of the almost imperceptible reconstruction scars, the pattern of thin wrinkles around her eyes, the dimples on her cheeks, like an artist’s brush strokes on a painted canvas. 

She was a sight to silence the heavens. 

She increased her rhythm and leaned in close to him, smirking as she bit her lower lip. Thin beads of sweat were rolling down her forehead, glistening in the dim light. He followed one with his finger, tracing its path, trailing his fingertip down her cheek to trace the contour of her lower lip, and continuing his exploration on her chin.  

Her body was an uncharted galaxy, and he was a sailor, wandering across her expanse, tracing star charts on her skin. 

She tilted her head back, exposing her neck. He kissed it, her sweaty skin salty on his tongue, while his thumb kept exploring her bare chest. He found one erect nipple and pinched it between his fingertips, driving a moan out of her parted lips. He cupped his other hand around her breast, squeezing it in his palm, reveling in the way her torso arched back in response.  

A few more droplets of sweat trailed from under her breast over her toned belly. He followed them too, circling her navel, moving slower and slower as he brushed his fingertips over her lower abdomen. Her breaths grew faster, coming out in grunts as she bounced her hips up and down around his cock. 

His own heartbeat pounded in his ears as he traced one last line on her star chart, teasing her, taking him closer to the center of her galaxy. He finally reached it and parted her folds, exposing her clit to his fingertips and expertly rubbing it. 

A low, guttural sound rose from her throat, accompanying her raspy breaths. 

He circled his thumb around the swollen nub and stroked it with the tip of his index finger, and her head tilted back, eyes closed and mouth wide open, as if to drink the starlight pouring over her. 

Her gravitational pull was almost impossible to resist now, he was riding his event horizon, one stroke, one moan away from giving in completely to this force he could never hope, nor want to escape. 

She was riding him faster, harder now, her groans almost feral. With a grunt, he quickened his pace as he brought her closer and closer to her edge. 

Gravitational singularity caught them both together. He came with a moan as her walls squeezed his cock, her pleasure-enraptured face and a halo of stars all he could see. Her thighs quivered against his hips and he squeezed her breast, inches above his own chest, while her fists curled around the sheets next to his shoulders. 

He kept rubbing her clit until her fingers wrapped around his wrist, pulling him away from her sensitive spot. 

“Stop,” she panted, “Stop. Too… much.” She tightened around him to punctuate her statement, and waves of aftershock washed over his body. He shuddered, the sensation so intense his brain almost couldn’t make sense of it.

Always gentle despite her ragged breaths and trembling muscles, Angela lowered herself to rest on top of him, laying her head close to his face to plant delicate kisses on his flushed cheek. He wrapped his arms around her, caressing her back while her fingers curled into the sweaty mess of his hair, brushing through it. 

The stars above watched over them as their hearts and breaths slowed down, as their limbs grew heavy, and the post-orgasmic bliss gave way to a fond tranquil haze.

“So.” When Jeff finally broke the silence, his voice came out as a croaky rasp. He cleared his throat and tried again. “Think Webb saved us something for dinner?”

Angela giggled in his ear. Her breath was a warm breeze caressing his neck. “You are terrible.”

“I know,” he answered, trailing his fingers down her spine, “I always am when I’m hungry.”

[hatboyproject]

First, you are a legend. Second, I have finally broken down and started playing thru the ME trilogy thanks to (a) my ability to take a sabbatical, and (b) a friend buying me the legendary edition, and (c) threats of violence from my loved ones should I not play it. I've finished ME2 and I am 100% not booting up ME3 if there's snowball's chance in hell that the LE version of your mod is dropping any time soon.

*sings* you're not our bitch and you're not a machine * I'm a fic writer, I expect nothing. And I know this stuff takes forever and I 1000% expect the answer to be 'no' but the only thing I am inquiring is whether there is an updated ETA for your mod. OR if you have need for a legendary edition beta tester. OR if I can send you cash money to help offset the time being spent on a labor of love. OR if I should say -f- it and get my hands on the original edition of ME3 so the hatboy mod you've already (gloriously) provided us, works.

Also thank you for giving me hope that I will get to play a Shoker option, which makes the most sense thematically and narratively and I am aghast at what bioware chose to do with Joker (and EDI, wtf). You're doing god's work.

Just this week, I got some of the updated synths I've been waiting for, but I'm still waiting on BroShep.

I am still working on HBLE, don't you worry! In between writing fic myself, doing a painting, and a playthrough of ME3 to refamiliarise myself with its pacing, I have been going in and putting some necessary setup stuff in place, which is all very boring and un-exciting and not really showcase-able. Big chunks of the structure have been built, but most of the audio work has to be done, still.

In the OT, a lot of work had been done before I had the ability to read a line to the synth myself and have it transpose the voice directly, which noticeably improves delivery. So much so that it is difficult to use a lot of the previous edition's takes. This has the knock-on effect of the line needing to be re-animated because, of course, the timings of everything are now different with the new audio. There are very few lines whose takes will not be re-done.

Fortunately, however, I have my lipsync automation tools, and I'm much better at animating now than when I started. So it takes a lot less time this go-around... but still time!

Sadly and wonderfully, this is a massive mod and is much more than just a straight port. If it was a straight port, it'd have been done already. I would apologise for that, but I like to think the end result will be worth it, haha!

I am adding new content this time, including an entire conversation about his sister that you can unlock by completing some vanilla dialogues.

I am so glad that you've been enjoying your time with Mass Effect and that my mod is on your list of things to do. In what I am sure is the most shocking statement of the century, I agree that Joker is the most thematically satisfying romance for Shepard. I can't wait to get it to you! I promise, I am doing my best and there's nobody who wants it in your hands more than me.

Regarding testing, it's not quite in a state where it can be tested just yet. A few conversations work (first convo, EDI body convo, EDI discussion, some ambients) but nothing else yet.

Regarding supporting me, I do have a Ko-Fi. You can find a link to it in the pinned post, and donations absolutely do help my creative efforts, and I go a little feral when I see someone has donated. But as always, I want to make it clear; The Hatboy Project is free and will never be gated in any way. Everyone gets the same release at the same time. All you have to do is own a legit copy of the game... Which you already do!

Excitement like yours helps keep me going. Thank you so much.

Edit: lmao my link is not in my pinned post lol rofl it's hatboyproject.ko-fi.com tho

[themarydragon]

I just started reading the Shoker fic, which is of course spectacular as expected. Out of curiosity, is yardstick based off of an irl pet

I know you guys love amputee humor

And I for real snorted when I read that name 😂

Behold! My Cat.

She probably lost her arm from getting hung up. She was found as an itty bitty baby, dragging one arm as she walked. They gave her steroids and tried to save the arm but the nerve damage didn't respond. She gets around just fine. She's the inspiration for Hunter Yardstick in everything but temperment.

His name comes from my dog:

Remington Yardstick

[shelbydelrey]

I watched Pearl last week and Mia Goth was amazing!! (X is next in the queue.) I’m certain her 3 min smile at the end will haunt me forever 😬 And if I wasn’t already a vegetarian, I’d become one after the image of the maggot infested pig on their dinner table 🤢 In all seriousness, the underlying story was intriguing and I’m curious to know your thoughts on one or both films!

Oh, Lee you poor thing 😅 I'm sorry that you were subjected to that scene! Good thing that you had a nice ride tho 😁

It's been a while since i watched Pearl so my review/thoughts aren't that fresh (and i have a tendency to forget thing very easily, even the ones i love - blame the ADHD) but the impressions that stuck with me are overwhelmingly positive.

I like how the movie doesn't shy away from how problematic Pearl is. Her motivations are relatable and almost paint her as an underdog but the story doesn't try to buy our sympathy with that or redeem her actions. As an audience we aren't blind to her flaws and the fact that she's not as talented as she thinks she is. That's the strongest part of it all for me, alongside Mia's acting of course (i wih some parts of the monologue didn't hit that hard 😅).

As for X... i rewatched recently and it wasn't as exciting as my first watch. It's a tribute to slashers and since those aren't my type of movies, it fell a bit flat for me. Also (mild spoilers) there's a section that tries to be anti-preaching but the way that it's delivered its annoying and ironically preachy, defeating the purpose of their argument (i hope that some of what i wrote makes sense). However, Mia is the highlight of the movie (shoker's i know 🤭) and not as Maxine but as an older Pearl. Bitch is unsettling as fuck 😂

I'm eager for MaXXXine and what kind of genre it will explore! Thank you for asking my opinions on it, darl. I love to ramble 😁 What other movies are on you radar recently? Oh, what did you think of Saltburn 👀

[shadesofmauve]

2022 Writing Wrap Up

Total words published: 149, 266. All but 947 of them published three days ago.

Additional words written: Oh, hell, your guess is as good as mine. I've got Perpetual Soup documents simmering over here, I take bits from them and add to them all the time. Like, google is crashing rather than admit that the Epic Scrap Yard doc has been around and perpetually changing since 2011. I know I had 4000 words on the next chapter before the clock struck midnight on the 31st; I can't remember how much I added to @swaps55' fav upcoming arc (aka Kai Leng's Worst Mistake Ever) or the Vortex of Tears, but I know it was something.

Grand total of words: 149,266++! Only not, because I didn't write all those; many were first published years ago, and even the re-writes represent about three years of work. So who the hell knows.

Fandoms: Mass Effect, of course. I've also added small amounts to an original novel idea, but mostly world-building notes.

Highest everything (raw kudos, hits comments): Of all time? It's always A Star to Steer Her By for hits, kudos, and bookmarks. I'm pleased to see Sunset and Evening Star beats it for subscriptions, though!

Highest kudos-to-hits ratio: Okay, I don't think this is fair. People come re-read aStSHB, but they can only leave kudos once. Like, far and AWAY the biggest k:h ratio is for Copilots, which is a tear-jerker short fic I gave to @musanocturnis in a holiday exchange because I'm a horrible friend. It only has 45 hits total, but people who go "I know, I want to CRY!" and click on it are apparently getting what they signed up for.

New things I tried: Um. Hrm. @swaps55, what did I try that was new? :P I wanna say there's something in the Emotional Cascade Failure chapter, but it wasn't so much new as hard. There's a lot of emotional stuff in SaES that's very much putting myself in situations I have no experience with — which is always part of writing, and is new every time.

Fic I spent the most time on: Sunset and Evening Star, no question.

Fic I spent the least time on: Shipmates, my lil' exploration of how Joker and Kaidan met.

Favorite thing I wrote: I like a LOT of what I wrote this year, which is an awesome feeling! I get giggly-excited over some space combat sections that haven't seen the light of day yet, and about anything with Alejandro. I'm very pleased with coming up with the Poss'm acronym. And Joker and Kaidan's ridiculous N7 Craft Hour conversation cracks me up more than it should, for sure.

Favorite thing I read: I've done way, way more writing than reading of fic, but it's got to be one of the scenes with the Yang Gang from @swaps55' Cantata. I just love their whole dynamic. The needlepoint wall sends me, and I'm going to work a reference to it in somewhere. I also really liked Wish I May, Wish I Might by @spaced0lphin, who's out there single-handedly providing every possible form of content for the Shoker fandom including a frickin' game mod. (Which I haven't yet played for the same reason I haven't read the Tiger By My Side rewrite, @spaced0lphin — keeping my own story clear while I'm neck deep in it, and not having time :( — but the original TBMS was my fav Shoker long fic, back in the day, so...)

Writing Goals for 2023: PUBLISH NEW CHAPTERS! We're lookin' good, just gotta keep going.

New works: Just Shipmates, I think. Though my main fic is so damn long I sort of feel like the new chapters count. That'd be A Bunk on the Normandy, Emotional Cascade Failure, and Possum, most of Trust, then the new chapter Shipmates (which is different than the short fic, titles are just hard, okay). There's other new stuff through-out, but those are almost 100% new.

Tagging: @writes-in-space, @spaced0lphin, @virusq

[alyssalenko]

Can't Help Falling in Love

Joker has always hated his leg braces, so Shepard decides to help him come to terms with them in the best way possible. Also on A03 if you prefer.

Written for the Shoker Exchange

A crash and mumbled cursing drew Shepard's attention, head snapping up from where she was lounging on the loft's sofa. Joker was bracing himself against the desk with one hand, gritting his teeth. She gasped and tossed the latest report onto the coffee table and vaulted off the couch practically sprinting to his side, panic setting in as she did a mental checklist, hoping she hadn't accidentally left anything on the floor that her brittle-boned lover could trip over. The desk chair sat in the middle of the landing, pieces of her latest model ship scattered across the floor from when he landed against the desk, Shepard paying them no mind except to dance around them, more concerned with him being alright than anything else. She cupped his chin gently, staring deep into his blue-green eyes, before pressing a chaste kiss to his lips.

"What's wrong? What happened?"

"I landed wrong on my leg coming out of the bathroom." Joker hissed, trying to hide the pain in his voice.

"Sit." She ordered, stepping away to grab the chair and push it towards him--he needed to be off his feet.

"I'm fine."

"Jeffrey, you will either sit down in this chair or I will toss you over my shoulder like I did to Kaidan on Vermire and carry you to the bed. Your choice."

He blinked at her--only his parents had ever called him Jeffrey--but there was no hiding the hint of amusement tugging at the corner of his lips as he gingerly sat down in the proffered chair. "You're such a brute."

Her eyes narrowed and Joker wondered for a split second if he had gone too far, until she smirked at him, a smolder in her eyes. "I have plans for you later–can't have you broken. Now let's see if there's any visible damage or if I need to go get Dr. Chakwas."

"No. Don't look--"

"I love all of you. No conditions and no matter what." Before he could stop her, his pants pooled on the floor, Joker grimacing as she saw the garish black braces from thigh to ankle and he closed his eyes in dismay. Her voice was soft when she spoke. "Hey, look at me. This changes nothing. Your condition is a shit situation, but needing these doesn't make you weak; you are so strong, Jeff--possibly the strongest person I know."

He normally removed the braces before she ever had a chance to see them, a piece of him ashamed that he needed them at all, even though she'd never looked at him differently after she learned about his affliction. In fact she'd gone to great lengths to treat him like every other member of the crew, because she knew how much he needed to feel normal. And that just made him love her all the more. Shepard bent her head and pressed a kiss to the carbon fiber and resin cages on each leg...he couldn't feel it, of course, but the gesture--the acceptance--made him smile in spite of himself. He didn't know how she did that; the galaxy was going to hell in a handbasket with her in the center of it all, and yet when she looked at him like that, she had him believing everything would be fine. That they'd win and the two of them would have forever in front of them.

He cupped the back of her neck and drew her up off the floor to settle her onto his lap, her hands settling over his on the armrests as his lips pressed against her, stopping her protests of needing to get Dr. Chakwas to make sure he hadn't broken anything. Was it so wrong he'd rather endure a thousand fractures to his leg bones than remove her from his lap? He curled a lock of her hair around his fingers as he sought another kiss, Shepard smiling against his lips as she gave into him, draping her arms about his shoulders, Joker taking a deep lungful of the light, floral scent of her perfume. Teasing hands tangled in the hem of his shirt, sliding the garment up his torso, sliding her fingers through his chest hair before tugging the fabric up over his head. She was trying to distract him from his pain and his leg braces and it was working wonderfully.

She was the one person in the galaxy that could keep up with him, that got him so completely without trying, going toe to toe and not backing down, matching his sarcasm and sardonic sense of humor with her own--a side of her only Joker got to see that she hid underneath her rank. And he wondered for what wasn't the first time how he had gotten so lucky to find her as he ran his hands up her sides, under her shirt, his touch featherlight and teasing. She braced her palms against his chest, a smirk tugging her lips as she pulled away from the smoldering kisses he was lavishing her with. Using his body to slowly push herself into a standing position, her pelvis met his briefly before sliding away drawing a sharp hiss from her lover; Joker groaning at the loss of her heat and the delicious friction she'd caused. He hadn't been done with her by a longshot.

She offered him her hand, and he took it, letting her lead him slowly and carefully over to the bed so as not to break anything, Joker sitting at the end of the bed and reaching for the latches to undo his braces, but she held out her hand to stop him.

"Leave 'em on. Let's give you a new memory with them--something much more pleasant." She winked, stripping her clothes off and straddling him as he sat at the end of the bed, and knocking his baseball hat onto the floor.

He couldn't remember loving anything more than he loved her in that moment.

If someone had told him 3 years ago he'd end up smitten with his commanding officer–the Commander Shepard, he would’ve laughed in their face, but here he was, ready to take back some of the power his disease took from him, and that was all because of her.

He held her close, her breasts smashed against his bare chest, his chest hair tickling her erect nipples as his tongue teased her lips briefly and she opened to him. Damn this man was a good kisser—smoking good. She broke away from the kiss as she lifted off him with her knees, toes braced against the tops of his leg braces, as she pressed her lips to his shoulder. One hand slipped between them, gliding over the muscles of his chest, past his stomach, his erection pulsing as she took it in her hand, his eyes fluttering closed under her touch. As she lowered herself onto his throbbing erection he slipped his hand between them to cup her naked breast, gentle fingers drawing circles around her nipple. She rolled her hips around his cock feeling the way his muscles tensed, her insides throbbing as he stretched and filled her when she sank back onto him.

She pulled her hair to one side as she glanced at him from under her lashes, lips parted and a sultry smile on her face. Jeff growled low in his throat, his eyes flicking up and down her body; it should be a crime for her to wear anything. One hand rested delicately against his pectoral, the fingers of her other hand curled over the top rung of his leg brace, an ever constant reminder he was still wearing them, but not an unpleasant one, as she bent to kiss him again. He gripped her hips, fingers digging into her soft, smooth flesh as he brought her hips down to meet his, both of them crying out in surprise and pleasure as they came together, Joker burying his face in her neck.

Something told him she was only just getting started, and he couldn't wait to see where else the night took them…

[farewllyouth]

wip wednesday

I don't really do these things but I see other ppl doing them all the time so I figured I'd give it a shot (n then maybe find enough motivation to finish it).

Another pre-shoker / Joker character study type thing I've been working on, set in the same universe as of an ocean a galaxy wide but can be read independently :)

The worst punishment Joker would face for breaking that particular rule - assuming he pulled it off - would probably be a written warning, maybe a fine. There are other, more serious consequences for things like mutiny or stealing a military spacecraft.

But Joker runs the numbers while Kaidan and Pressly bark at each other over Ilos. In the same moment that he double-checks his math and confirms that he can, in fact, land the Mako with only twenty meters of clearance, it occurs to him that the consequences of rule breaking haven't done much to stop him at this point - technically, this isn't even the first time he's stolen the Normandy.

The benefits of having an N7 and a Council Spectre for a commanding officer are not to be understated, he supposes.

Of course, just when Joker's heart rate returns to normal and he thinks the day can't get any weirder, Shepard informs him that she plans to drive the Mako through a prototype mass relay, and could he please muster up some reinforcements and meet her at the Citadel?

Kaidan looks like his eyes are about ready to fall out of his skull. All Joker can do is laugh at the absurdity of it.

"Drive that thing like you stole it, Commander."

"Keelah, don't give her any ideas!" Tali groans.

"I'd say the same to you, but I doubt you need direction from me at this point." The barest hint of a laugh in Shepard's voice filters over the comm. "Just make sure the crew fastens their seatbelts before you deviate from procedure again, okay?"

[keriweird]

I adored painting this commission for the lovely @sephraem 's Shoker fic. An adorable, fluffy, and of course sarcastic wedding. Give it a read and some love on AO3. 🥰🥰🥰 Fic dedicated to @spaced0lphin in celebration of their ME3 Shoker mod.

[spaced0lphin]

Wish I May, Wish I Might

A Shoker Thing (Obviously It Is, This is Me We’re Talking About}

Time is a weird thing. Tied to the senses, in a way. Removed or dulled enough, and pretty soon a person thinks it's been an hour inside five minutes.

Stars. Blackness. Stars. Blackness. The difference between closing and opening his eyes was an ocean of sparkling dots. The floor below him - or beside, direction didn't really matter, here - was so far, and the dome before him so huge, that he seemed to hang suspended in space.

Doctor Chakwas’ sharp words still hung around the back of his mind. If he had his way, he'd never have come off the ship. But, stretching properly for the first time in way too long, a tingling flood of feel-good chemicals radiated up from his legs, and he had to admit she was right. Racking up some time in zero-gee was doing wonders.

Joker swallowed, the gross wet sound of it filling his ears with way more detail than he ever wanted. That was the worst; being forced to hear his own body's squishy noises.  

Ignoring the thudding of his heart in his ears, he drew lines in the air with his finger, connecting together familiar shapes in the stars. Asteroid stations in the middle of nowhere like this one were kind of appealing, when he thought about it. They weren't often this quiet, but they were often low or no grav. The less he weighed, the less the ache always living in his loose joints had anything to say. But, spend too much time in low grav, and bones lose density. For crumbly garbage ones like his, that was a death sentence. Gravity. What a bunch of bullshit.

The distinct hiss of an airlock sent a breeze blowing across his back. He frowned at the glimmering sea before him. Of course, having it all to himself was too good to be true.

"Was just leaving," he grumbled, fishing for his air jet. Magboots clicked softly on the grating; he must've floated up a long way.

"Relax, it's only me," a familiar voice called out to him. A warm fluttery feeling spread out in his belly.

"Shepard...? Hey, patients only," he said. Twisting around in zero-gee wasn't the problem, it was the whole stopping thing that always proved tricky. Where was that damn thing?

Standing with her feet clamped to the floor, she folded her arms and looked straight up at him. "I'm a Spectre, I can go wherever I want."

"Uh-huh," he said. A bit of starlight reflected off a cylindrical object, caught in a lazy spin at the far end of the room - his trigger. His face sank into his palm.

"Ah... is that yours?" She asked. The smile coming through in her voice was so clear he had to steal a glance. To him, that understated little smirk of hers shone brighter than any sun.

"Yep." Joker clicked his tongue. "Real rookie mistake." 

"You forgot to clip it?"

"Look, it's... been a while. A little help here? Or am I gonna have to start blowing?" He laughed. No answer. If he didn't know better, he'd say she looked a little transfixed or something. It seemed almost like she was staring past him - through him, maybe. Her eyes were locked on something out there. Alarmed, Joker craned his neck. Nothing, except the stars. Still and exactly the same as as they ever were. "Hey, what gives? C'mon, the water's fine," he said, waggling his arms, stuck in a slow barrel-roll.

"Yes. Yes, yes. I'm coming." That was hesitation in her words, he was sure of it.

"Uh, Shepard?" he asked with a bemused little chuckle. "There's nothing out there." 

"... I know." 

The buzz and clunk of her magboots' release busted the silence as she began floating up. Stars, Shepard. Stars, Shepard. Stars... Only a couple metres or so away now, and her eyes were squeezed shut. She looked like a terrified cadet out on her first EVA practise. Joker opened his mouth to deliver some crack asking her when the last time she'd been outside even was, when the millions and millions of lights in the void slid into his vision once more. He knew the answer to that question. He closed his mouth, heat prickling at the back of his neck. 'There's nothing out there.' Who’d know better than the woman who died choking on hard vacuum? What a jackass. Her long, shaky breaths filled the few feet of air between them.

"Hey, open your eyes," he said softly, knowing that even a whisper was enough. "You're gonna bump into me."

Without a word, her legs lifted and folded with the precision of a dancer, the spat-spat-spat of air bursting from little jets on her catsuit slowing her down. Every move was sleek and perfect, all the more so by how effortless she made it look. The result, he knew, of hours and hours of drills and practise. At last, the cosmos stopped their slow spinning around with the touch of her hand to his shoulder.

"Thanks," he said, offering a smile he hoped looked contrite. "Was starting to think I'd throw up."

"No you weren't," she replied, the tiniest little grin forcing its way out across her lips. "You grew up in space."

God, her eyes really were something else. What he wouldn't give to just reach up and stroke her cheek, to tell her it was okay. Tell her she had it under control, that she didn't have to be scared. The starlight illuminating her face made his breath catch. Joker swallowed heavily. This time, there was no gross wet sound, his throat dry as a bone.

Politeness demanded he look away, but he couldn't tear himself free. In those eyes was a depth stretching farther than even the most distant star could hope to reach.

"Eh, yeah... I just wanted you to feel like you'd saved me from something," he said. "Not that you haven't already. But, y'know. Heroic moment."

"What if I hadn't showed up?" She asked. "You'd have been stuck here for hours."

"Hours?"

"I booked it for a few. I wanted..." Shepard trailed off, searching for her words. "I wanted to take my time."

Somehow, his hands found their way to her shoulders. "Aw, you're just a bit rusty,” he said with a dismissive shrug. “It's been a while for the both of us. I forgot my clip, and you... Uh, well. Your breathing's slowed down now, that’s good," he pointed out. It was only when he gave her shoulders a gentle squeeze that he realised she was gripping both his own, hard. "... All you need's a little practise. Hey, my trigger's over there," he said, gesturing. Shepard followed his hand at first, but soon her gaze travelled up, and up, as if called by something. Her fingers clamped down like a vice. 

"Watch it, hey, watch it!" he hissed.

She released. "Did I hurt you?"

"I'll live," he muttered. "Listen, you don't have to let go of me if you don't wanna, just... Don't snap me like a toothpick, okay?"

"Right. I'm sorry."

Shepard's hands fluttered down, settling on his waist instead. She'd chosen to hold him closer, rather than tighter. Joker cleared his throat, grateful for the dim silver light of the stars, surely disguising the heat spreading across his cheeks.

She was so damn brave. As he pulled himself free of her grasp and floated clear of her to give her air jets room, Joker imagined the kind of guts it must take to face a fear like this. Alone, too - she came here alone, planning to panic in silence, for hours.

"Yeah… Look, I got an idea," he said, placing his hand back on her shoulder. "Let’s go get it together."

Shepard placed her hand atop his, anchoring him as she lined up. With a sharp little burst, they were on their way.

“They teach you all kinds of stuff to be an N7, huh?” He asked, moving himself to block her gaze if she looked up. “You do the whole flippin’ around thing pretty good.”

“They do,” she said. “I used to enjoy it, once upon a time.”

“Yeah, I can tell,” he replied. “I’m surprised you haven’t been headhunted by the asari Stardancers.”

“You’re a fan of stellar ballet?”

“I’m a fan of the outfits,” he snickered. She snickered, too, and Joker allowed himself to float in just a little closer.

Shepard stretched out. With a deft flick of her arm, she flipped about to face him, eye to eye. The little device slid up between them, filling his vision, and she laughed, tapping him on the nose with it.

“Here you go, troublemaker.”

He closed his hand around it. “Thanks.”

Maybe he was just nuts, but, she seemed to be lingering, her eyes flicking from point to point. Perhaps she was just trying not to look at the expanse behind him.

“Whoops,” he said, nudging the trigger out, end over end, into the colossal empty room. “Dropped it.”

“Joker, I put my ship in your hands, and you have butterfingers?”

“Look at it this way, it’s more practise, right? Let’s go get it.”

She took his arm and looped it around her neck, setting out in a smooth arc. He smiled to himself, watching her glance this way and that. The fire inside Shepard was familiar. Watching it in action had this way of spreading, setting him alight, too. Maybe one day he could see her fly amid the stars without being chased by old ghosts. A sharp pang shot through his chest - those old ghosts only haunted because of him. Ghosts describing the way her body spun, shrank, and was swallowed by the looming blueness of Alchera. That was why she was here after all, and why she didn’t love the stars anymore. That little line of pain snaking through his heart blossomed into an open wound. He shouldn’t, really, he knew, but steadying himself as she flew gave him an excuse. He let his free arm drift in and cross her body, though he barely let it touch. Such a weird way to score an embrace, but, he couldn’t be there for her back then. At least he could be here for her, now.

“Joker?”

“What?” They’d stopped at some point, he realised. Dead centre of the dome, by the looks of it.

Shepard unfolded, filling all the space between his arms without a word. She was so warm. His chin came down to rest on her shoulder, his arms pulling her back against his chest. Her heartbeat raced against his forearm, even through her catsuit. He didn’t dare speak. Or move. Or even breathe, not even when it burned in his lungs. God, he wanted whatever this was to last, but he wasn’t an idiot - for whatever reasons of her own, she’d let him overstep a little, that’s all. Time to get a grip.

“It’s there,” he whispered, pointing at it. “See it? You don’t need me, you go the rest of the way.”

Her fingers closed around his forearm.

“Go on. Go fetch,” he insisted, offering a grin. “Not often I get to give you an order, huh?”

“… No, you’re wrong,” she said.

“Well, that’d be a first.”

“I do need you,” she said.

He felt his smile waver. “Um, okay, well, let’s take it at your pace, then. I’ve got until they finish installing that ablative plating stuff. Man, that’s gonna be sweet,” he said, giving in to the urge to hold her just that little bit tighter.

“I’m fine right here, for the moment, if you are.”

“Like I said, I’ve got like three days of doing nothing ahead of me, so… We’re on your schedule. When you’re ready, alright?”

She fit against him as though she was made for the job. Joker closed his eyes, writing every detail to memory.

“It’s quiet up here,” she said, just above a whisper.

“Yep. Can’t even hear the air recyclers.”

Her head slowly turned as she scanned around, exposing the length of her neck. Nothing ever looked quite so soft. Joker forced his eyes shut to keep from thinking about it.

“I’ve had nightmares about it for so long now, I forget how beautiful it really is,” she said.

“Mm-hmm. Yeah, it makes my list. A few things are a bit higher, but, not many.”

“Higher than this?” She breathed.

“Mmm, I dunno, those Stardancer outfits are pret-ty nice,” he said with a dry chuckle. She tutted, nudging him in the stomach with her elbow, and they both laughed. Shepard settled back against him like it was the most natural thing in the world. The fluttery feeling deep in his belly refused to budge. “You get bad dreams a lot, huh?”

“If I do this enough, they’ll stop. They have to,” she said, a certain hard edge creeping into her voice.

“They will, they will,” he said, nodding. “Don’t worry.” The fabric covering her shoulder was so smooth. So smooth. What was it made of? He’d been rubbing little circles in it with his thumb. “Ah, heh,” he murmured, clearing his throat again. “So. You still good?”

“Are you?” She asked.

“I only came up here to get some weight off my joints,” he said. “I’m still doing that.”

“It’s good to see you off the ship, you know.”

“Yeah, well. Chakwas told me if I didn’t go, she’d use the time I had sitting around to do extra tests. So, I bounced.”

Shepard chuckled. “That sounds about right. She told me something similar.”

“Yeah she sure has her own brand of looking out for people, I guess,” he said. A wave of tingly niceness made all his hairs stand on end as Shepard mirrored him, drawing wavy patterns on his forearm with the very tips of her nails. He sank into the delicious feeling. This was fine. Maybe not the most strictly professional thing, but, they were friends, too. This was totally fine. Joker rested his chin on her shoulder again. “Speaking of that kinda thing, I guess… Lookin’ out for people, and all that… You know you don’t have to do this all on your own, right?”

“What do you mean?” She asked, turning her head to the side and looking at him out of the corner of her eye.

“Well… You don’t have to face it all by yourself. You got me, if you want?” His heart leapt to his throat. “I’ll help, I mean. With stuff like this? All you gotta do is ask.”

“I know you’d help… and you have,” she said, tilting her head against his. “Thank you.” The wavy patterns stopped dead, and Shepard disentangled herself, gentle as could be. It was as if gravity had been switched on, but only for his insides. The spell was broken. He’d messed it up, somehow. Or, watching her float away, maybe he’d set it right? She had so much to think about and do, the last thing she needed was her horned-up helmsman putting the moves on her during a moment of weakness, which - Oh, no. Something slimy and cold started slithering around in his gut. That’s exactly what happened. A wobbling blob of moisture floated up off his nose. Jeez, it was hot in here.

“L-Listen, Shepard, I’m pretty sure I cro-“

“What?” She asked, slowly spiralling back toward him, wiggling his trigger in her hand. She ducked down, fastening it to his belt with a loud snap.

“-ssed a… line hey, nice going!”

She collided with him. Laughed. Shot away. He fumbled with the jet at first, righting himself just in time to see the most powerful woman in the galaxy blow a big fat raspberry at him.

“You- wha- how is this fair? I’ve only got one jet and you’ve got, what, like fifty?”

“Come on, are you the best pilot in the Alliance fleet, or what?”

“Oh, now you’re gonna get it.”

“I should requisition you one of these,” she said, sailing around him. “Maybe I will, if you catch me.”

“Pfft, promises, promises. I’mma hold you to that, and I don’t care if they cost half a planet’s worth of platinum. Your word is your bond,” he teased, doing some quick math. Was it cheating to use the wall? He didn’t care.

“Big words, ballcap boy,” she taunted. She could bust out such an annoying sing-song jeer when she wanted to. Joker launched himself off the wall at a speed Shepard clearly didn’t expect. She darted in the precise way he figured she would, sent himself tumbling through her first-year evasive manoeuvres, and straight into her.

“Yeah, yeah, you think you’re real clever with that suit, don’t you?” He intercepted her, using his own momentum to swing her, laughing, into his grasp. “That was easy. I’m kind of embarrassed for you, Shepard. All that training and all that tech and I beat you with one jet and an attitude.”

“Oh, I let you,” she replied, cracking up. On his life, she was… giggling.

“You didn’t.”

“I did, I did, I absolutely did,” she could barely speak, she was having such a damn episode.

“Now, you look me in the eye,” he said, pulling his eyelid down in an exaggerated stare.

“I can’t see,” she replied, wiping at shimmering silver blobs - tears - that, without gravity, refused to leave her eyes.

“Well, that’s what you get for getting the giggles in zero-gee,” he said, shaking his head. “Does Anderson know you’re like this?”

“He put it in my letter of recommendation,” she answered, shaking her head as she blinked the last one free. A trail of a dozen little spheres jiggled madly on the long way up towards the roof of the dome. He smiled up at them as, one by one, he lost sight of each, blending in with the lights all around. From shaking with fear to shaking with laughter. That counted as some kind of victory, he was sure of it. Something brushed against his cheek. Shepard’s fingertips directed his face back toward her. Painted in silver and framed by stars, she really was the most beautiful thing he ever saw.

“Hey.” It was all he could think to say.

“Hey,” she replied, her voice soft and low and breathy in a way that sent a tingle up his spine. She drew in, and he did too. He didn’t know who did it, but, her lips. They were hot, and her breath even hotter, and all of a sudden he never had to wonder again what it might be like to kiss her because now - now he knew, and he never, ever wanted to stop. Her fingers at the back of his head, running through his hair and cupping his face was all at once way too much and not nearly, nearly enough. She was lithe and firm and everything he ever hoped to feel, and in the rush of it he couldn’t tell if that little, desperate sound was hers or his own. It didn’t matter, because yes. If she wanted it, oh, he would give it to her. He would give her anything. Everything.

Breaking that kiss for air was maybe the hardest thing he’d ever done. Breath ragged and body trembling with adrenaline, Joker held her to him like she was tethering him to life. Shepard, for all her strength and fury, was nothing but tender with every kiss she placed and every touch to every part of him she felt - and, already, there were very few parts of him she hadn’t yet.

Her suit’s zipper peeled open and her skin was silky under his hands, dewy under his lips, and God, he could not stop shaking.

Soothing like water, she wrapped herself around him, cushioning his shuddering and her lips at his ear.

“Yes?” She whispered. It was a question. Calm and sweet and so utterly divorced from the maelstrom he was caught up in.

“Buh?”

She kissed his neck, maybe giving him time to think, before repeating, “yes?”

Oh, this woman. This wonderful, beautiful woman. “God, Fff-Yes,” he gasped. The word alone wasn’t strong enough and Joker grabbed her hips, grinding himself right up against her to let her feel how much ‘yes.’

His fly popped open and he lost any ability to think. There was only one thing to do, and it was very simple. Her breath was hot across him, and all of a sudden, full of sound. The most achingly beautiful whimper. He dragged his teeth up the soft skin of her neck that just a few moments before he’d tried so hard not to think about, and pushed.

Sweet fire. He lacked the words but maybe those would do. Sinking into her set every nerve alight with sweet, sweet fire. Her ankles crossed behind his back, almost spurring him on. Yes, yes, he had to be careful, but here, spinning with the stars, he didn’t have to be quite that careful. Whatever she was doing, it was working - with every stroke she tilted her hips a certain way and soon her eyes were fluttering closed, her lips parted, and her body squeezing in tighter. He still couldn’t stop shaking, but this time, the cause was obvious. Shepard’s mouth found his own and then there just wasn’t any holding back anymore. Her whole body locked up tight, her cry muffled by their kiss. He squirmed, straining to get even deeper inside somehow and rode it out with her, giving her his everything.

Breathless. Completely breathless. Curved around her body, he panted, his head resting between her breasts. God, he hoped it meant as much for her. If all the tingling as she laid kisses atop his head and fiddled with his ear was anything to go by, he figured it probably did.

“I hope they have a good filtration system,” she mumbled.

“I hope they don’t have any cameras,” he replied.

An orange glow hit the backs of his eyelids. “Well,” she sighed. “They don’t now.”

They snickered.

[safetycar-restart]

thinking about charles returning to you from summer brake all tanned except for his lilly butt and how it would glow bright hot pink when you spank him. hm.

might feature:

you telling him to get nice clear tan lines for you while he's away;

spanking him first thing because he missed you and needs you right now. badly. (re: the whole charles wanting you for himself in the d/s au agenda. can you tell the sound of breaking hearts is my favourite sound?)

piarles!au where you get pierre to fuck him, you holding charles' cheeks open for him, while charles is keening and tearing up because his butt is still burning, but he wouldn't trade this for anything

- Lemon 🍋

would you look at that, lemon sent a non-seb ask! shoker, i know 😆

Attention everyone, lemon has sent in a non-seb ask. I think they may have been kidnapped. Lemon... please let us know if you have been kidnapped.

But until lemon confirms that they are alive and well, let's talk about spanking Charles! So, I'm gonna write a little bit about each of these scenarios and we can always go into more detail about some of them if you guys would like :))

Just spanking him:

Ok listen, Charles comes back to you with the PERFECT tan to spank his lil ass. His ass and thighs are completely untanned and perfect to spank, which is exactly where you like to spank him.

And listen, Charles knows EXACTLY what he's done. He knows he's going to get spanked when you see that, and that's exactly what he wants.

It's the perfect way to reunite with you. And then, when his ass is bright red and burning, you rub soothing lotion on his ass and then let him lay against your chest for cuddles while you guys catch up.

Charles needs you after so long apart:

When you reunite with Charles, you know you have to scene with him pretty quickly cause the poor thing is just not functioning. So of course, you let him submit instantly.

The problem is, he doesnt calm down the way he usually does. You have him kneel for you, pull his hair, let him suck on your fingers, choke him a little, maybe even tie his hands together, but he just... doesnt calm down.

He's still shaking and whining, tears running down his face and he can't seem to settle.

That's when you spank him. You don't often spank Charles, because he's your sweet good boy, but you know you need to do something different. So, you put Charles over your knee, and tell him to count ten spanks. You tell him that after ten, he will be able to calm down.

And you're right.

Poly!Piarles:

It's Pierre's idea.

Pierre sees Charles's tan first, because they take a shower together when chases gets back. Pierre finishes showering first (because Charles always takes ages), and then he comes to you and says "you have to spank him". You see exactly why when you see Charles naked, see how cute little tan and how perfect it is for spanking his little ass.

Pierre holds Charles while you spank him, letting him suck on his fingers while you make his ass bright red.

And then yes! Having Pierre fuck him is perfect. It burns so much, especially when you spread his cheeks. Charles is on his hands and knees, his red ass in the air. He drops to his elbows always instantly, and then his head falls onto the bed when he can't hold his weight anymore.

He lays there, ass up for Pierre to fuck.

Towards the end, you tell Pierre to grip Charles's ass himself and move to the side, petting Charles and kissing him, comforting him to get him through the last stretch.

He's all fucked out in the end, laying there in a puddle of tears and cum and waiting to get cleaned up.

[kyratittyfish]

All I Need

This lil fic is for my dear friend @commander-krios. Why? Cause she's awesome, and she deserves some fluff featuring her Aurora Shepard and Joker. Who are pretty awesome too. Anyway- hope you like it <3 -Kyra

“Have you ever thought about moving planetside?” Aurora asked, her arm draped above her forehead and her slender fingers playing with the hem of her pillowcase. 

With how soft her voice was, barely loud enough for Jeff to hear it, he wondered if she truly meant to ask her question, or if she was merely thinking out loud. She tended to do that when she was relaxed, and he felt a little clump of fuzzy warmth settling in his chest at the thought that yes, she was indeed at ease now, lying next to him. 

Even after years since their first kiss he still couldn’t believe his luck and kept anticipating the dreadful moment of waking up and realizing their love had been nothing more than a convincing dream. He took a deep breath in, letting her familiar scent dispel his doubts and fears.

“When this mess is over, I mean,” she clarified, slightly turning her head towards his side of the bed. He mirrored her movement and rolled to his side.

Her hair was a sprawled mess that framed her head like a golden halo against the white bedsheets, and starlight reflected in her blue eyes, making the details of her irises shimmer like silver shards of moondust. He wasn’t a religious man, but looking at her, he could almost believe in angels. 

“Planetside?” he snorted, scuttling closer to her body until his hip met the warmth of her bare skin. No matter how many times he’d done it before, touching her was always like flowing through a relay. It felt like floating weightlessly through the fabric of space and time, in a place between worlds where the laws of nature meant nothing. It was intoxicating, and he knew that if he had one thousand years to live, one billion occasions to experience that same moment again and again, he’d still be pleading for one more day, one more time, one more flight, and one more touch.  

“Mhm.” Aurora shifted on the mattress to snuggle more comfortably next to him, and gently wrapped her leg around his thighs. “Earth. Or Tiptree, if you wanna.” Her words began to slur as sleepiness seeped deeper into her mind and body. He smiled as she nested her face in the crook of his neck and covered her hand in his as she slid her palm over his chest to rest it right above his heart. 

He placed a tender kiss over her head. Her hair tickled his cheek as he did so, but it was a pleasant tingle. “Nah,” he murmured into her blonde locks. “There are way too many people there. And bugs. And dirt. And the weather changes? Sorry, but I’ll pass.”

She didn’t answer right away, or even chuckle. Her warm breaths grew slower and deeper against his neck, and he thought she’d fallen asleep already. 

“S’alright,” she finally mumbled, after what could have been a minute or a hundred. “I’ve got all I need right here.”

[hatboyproject]

[themarydragon]

8 for the wrapped thing, please?

WOO 8. Pairing you wrote the most for this year?

Okay so this might take math.

If we're talking about POSTED fic, then it's like 135k for Zelink. However, I WROTE that over the course of about 3 years so that's not my final answer. I've written some 25k or so for Zelink this year but it's the WIP of the TotK extension of CWRD and half of that is outline and datamining and playthrough notes.

I've been working a LOT on an original world that I first started kicking around 10+ years ago and I have no idea how to tally those words. There's 3 POVs, 6 drafts, an epistolary side-project, the outline, the excerpts, the language notes, the "plot potentials" side file... it's nuts. Probably close to half a mil if I'm actually counting words, and it's not even a recognized ship. Trust me, it's a SHIP.

In terms of established-fandom, words-written-this-year, that's gotta be Mass Effect. I started my first draft of The Chakwas fic on Dec 29 of last year, the current draft was from early January (when I figured out the style I was writing in) and since then I've put 211k words to paper in F!Shoker (Female Shepard /Joker).

So, tl;dr - Mass Effect: Legendary Edition, Shoker pairing, which will break 250k words written by the time the year ends.

[theblankest123]

So it's the first time i'm reading the apprentice's quest, i'm almost half-way through, here's a few of my thoughts so far:

Im sure this will come as such a shoker (sarcasm) but man. Alderpaw is such. Such a bland character so far. Litterally like? His whole character is just bland as hell with some occasional anxious thoughts and that's it. The anxious thoughts aren't that big or anything new either like oh no am i gonna a good member of the clan oh nooooooo :( and that's it. That's all he is about, that's any flavoring inside this bowl of pure blandness.

Like you could fix this by giving him some flavour!! Make his anxious thoughts be big! Make him catastrophize! Make him into a perfectionist - make him think that of he forgets a name of a herb Jayfeather will hate him forever and the clan will think he is bad and always will be bad and they will kick him out! Make him stutter and have hard time talking due to his anxiety and be socially akward! Make him into a disaster that makes mistakes and messes up often and Jay and Leaf start being unsure about their decision to make him a medicine cat (fueling his anxious mind), only for him to have the vision given by starclan, so that they know they made the right choice but it does give alderpaw an actual imposter syndrome, because he starts feeling that that vision and the quest he goes on is the only reason he is a medicine cat, and not because he deserves it or is good at any of his duties, which are strong doubts he could keep even after he becomes Alderheart.

Of course they might still do something with his character in the second half of this book but i highly doubt they will and it just. Frustrates me, yknow.

Yes some signs of an imposter syndrome and other such thoughts do get shown in the book but they just dont have. Anything really in them. They are brief and completely bland. It doesn't help that upon him becoming a medicine cat apprentice, he keeps doing litterally everything perfectly, aside from the one time he forgot a herb but briarlight helped him remember it, or the fact that he treated cherryfall injury alone (and perfectly) without telling the other medcats, which made Jayfeather angry before acknowledging that alderpaw did everything right, and then afterwards alderpaw just casually relocates sparkpaws leg based off of what he heard leafpool tell him before about relocating legs, without any real practice (most likely), so well that Sparkpaw is later that day seen walking perfectly fine.

Like just. You could have made him into a character with some depth and personality, you had like 120 pages to just explore his deal before throwing him into his quest.

And you just made him into a bland character that is a bit anxious and cant catch prey, gets thrown into the medicine cat den, is a bit anxious but does everything perfectly, is a bit anxious but does good, has a bit of an imposter syndrome early on his medcat apprenticeship but it doesn't really go anywhere and the he does a good job with his meds, is a bit anxious so he doesn't talk about his dream for three day until he tells sandstorm and then gets encourged to tell the other medcats so he does good. Ect ect ect.

God i cant wait until Needtail, Violetshine and Twigbranch start becoming relevant because his friendship with needletail has been so far fun to read about, i already like this brat of a cat and her bratty gang and alderpaw having fun with them but also being shocked and horrified at what things they say, that's actually fun to read about.

Side note but alderpaw being shoved into the medicine cat den was not as bad as i heard others say?? Yall made it sound like he did not want to be a medicine cat and was not happy at all to be forced so horribly into the job, when that's? Not really what happened? Like he did not want to be a medcat at first, but he had a hard time as a warrior apprentice, and yeah it is bullshit that he got shoved there instead of him choosing it by himself, but he learns that he is going to be a medcat from Bramblestar, telling him that he was going to wring way in life, and Alder is surprised and not fond of it at first, bit warms up to the idea very quickly, at the end telling sparkpaw that he is going to be the best medicine cat of thunderclan (out of spite cause spark could not imagine being one). Afterwards, aside from his anxieties and Jayfeather being Jayfeather, he has a genuinely good and positive time as a medcat and does not seem to miss being a warrior at all, fully being ok with being trained as a medcat.

It just doesn't feel as forced as others described it to be, idk

Anyway im not rereading what i wrote down, sorry for the grammar errors or if what im saying makes no sence, ect ect

[stellocchia]

K so i was looking into anarchism cauae a lot of fans say that techno's version is innacurate and on a whim i decided to make one of my oc's anarchist (cause i project my intrests into my oc's) and i was looking for songs that fit him since i like making playlists and i stumbled on this band from the 70's called Crass.

First of all it is a poor white punk band which made me suspicious but i was willing to listen to a bit.

Everything was fine at first, their music was pretty different from what im used to but their lyrics are great, i even considerd trying to make a cover of one of their songs "Do they owe us a living", but then i got to this one song (forgot the name) where they were shitting on Liberals, which was something.

I think it was about how people focus too much about their ideals and dehumanise their opposition making them unable to see their own flaws, which is a valid critique but then they said something along the lines of "that is the logic that killed 10 million jews", which was a bit of a yikes.

But i was willing to justify it, hey it was the 70's you cant epect them to have to have perfect wording, but then i went into the comments and then i saw a small thread of replies where someone was like "there wasnt anywhere close to 10 million jews at europe at the time" and someone replied "they were probably just making fun of Zionist who believe those fake statistics"

At this point i had to stop, because if the fans of the band are holocaust deniers then what dies this say about the band itself? I started looking around and most fans vehemently denied Crass being racist, but some acknowledged them to be ignorant to racism. It seems like the band while not racist themselves didn't really understand racism (what a shoker from a white band from the 70's) and therefore have quite a few troubling statements, even dismissing tge existence of racism which in the 70's is a bold ass claim.

Anyway yeah

Getting into weirdly specific rabbit holes really is a universal experience, huh?

That said, about the whole racism thing, I think the awareness on racism varied wildly depending on where you lived.

Like, you all know I'm italian and my parents come from extremely poor farming families and one thing they told me was that when they were younger people used to say they had nothing against people of color (because there weren't really any around where they lived) but they were extremely prejudiced against those from the south (which is still a big problem here, but I digress). And now racism is just rampant here because immigration brought a lot of diversity.

What I'm trying to get at is that while in the 70ies in America for example the discussion about race was prominent, in some other places it may not have been. Now I've seen that the band is from England and, I'll be honest here, I don't know how the discussion surrounding racism evolved there. At all. But it is to keep in mind that their shitty wording may have genuinely come from ignorance. Which doesn't make it any less shitty of course, but it's still to keep in mind.

But yeah! This was interesting!

[spado-the-pomeranian]

Well, g ű l p, I made myself a jjba OC, for Vento Aureo, of course. S o o o this is quite a longread with some stupid jokes and deep symbolism (no) (btw english is my second language so... there may be mistakes and weird phrases in some places, sorry)

Name: Antonina "Nina" Kormyltseva

Namesake:

Antonina is a slavic name with a greek origin, meaning "resisting" and "joining the battle".

Short form, Nina, referring to german punk singer Nina Hagen ( I took some bits and pieces from her 80s looks and her appearance in general).

Kormyltseva is referring to Ilya Kormyltsev, russian poet and lyricist of a famous soviet/russian band "Nautilus Pompilius" (they had quite a rebellious songs, ya know; thus both name and surname gives her a Rebel Rebel vibe).

Age: 23

Birth date: 10.27.1977

Zodiac sign: Scorpio

MBTI: ENTP (Says a lot about her (and our society))

Height: 183cm (6' in feet, if I'm not mistaken)

Hair colour: Her natural hair colour is something like light chestnut, but she bleached her hair and then dyed them blue (dye your hair blue only if you have clear base, kids, otherwise you gonna get a weird dirty pond colour)

Eye colour: Hazel

Occupation: Police Officer (formerly) (in Russia), Private Investigator (in Russia, later in Italy)

Home country: Soviet Union/Russia (because USSR collapsed in the 1991 when Nina was like 14 or something I am bad at math)

Stand: 「 PEEK-A-BOO」 (after Siouxsie And The Banshees song, a theme of "somebody's watching you from the dark", desire to remain invisible, voyeuristic tones etc). Stand gives Nina an ability to travel through shadows (much like Black Sabbath, yup, but in that case it is a power type stand). Stand has a secondary ability named 「 KILLING JAR 」 (still Siouxsie And The Banshees reference, a kind of Nina's "private prison"; killing jar actually is a devise used by entomologists to kill a specimen, a metaphor for a controlled violence): it allows Nina to turn people into a shadows. People in a shadow state can't interact with outside world, but they still can see and talk to Nina (if she tortures someone with her ability, she simply ignores them, using physical violence in rare occasions only (when she feels like it)). To keep a living being in a shadow state Nina needs a concentration. The amount of it varies from person to person; non-standusers, for example, are much easier to keep, though strong-willed people (ya know, like Bruno, for another example) are able to escape.

Also, she uses a shadow space in her jacket to store some things (like camera, voice recorder, phone, electro shoker, checks from stores etc.)

Music theme (of sorts): The Quaterdrawing of a Dog — Siouxsie And The Banshees

I've specifically listened to some of the DP adaptation (and ASB) canon characters themes and decided that Nina need one too. This track perfectly describes her with it's tense (waterphone intro, yay), yet somehow chill and melodical synth and guitar sound. And this sweet whistle sound... chef's kiss.

So um... About her origin. (there are a lil bit of violence, just a warning)

She was born in Moscow, in middle class family. Her father was a programmer and her mother worked as a seamstress. Also, she has an younger sister, who at some point in the future became a fashion model (because for some reason I thought that a contrast between two sisters would be quite funny).

Her father was kinda absent during Nina's childhood because of work. At home though, he unconsciously over-controlled her and other family members, sometimes being verbally abusive and manipulative. At some point in 90s, he started to drink alcohol to cope with stress of economic crisis, which was caused by collapse of Soviet economy and a fast pace of "shock therapy". Nina hated him because all of that (though, she constantly feels guilty about it).

On the other hand, she loved her mother and sister grately. They were her role models, even though she'd grown up nothing like either of them.

Since childhood, she was fascinated with crime cases and mysteries, and that's why she went to study for a police officer. But she didn't stay as one for long: sexism, "glass ceiling" and overall corrupted system forced her to become a private investigator.

One day she was hired to investigate a domestic violence case: powerful rich man crippled his wife out of jealousy and tried to get away with it. Nina helped in building a strong case, but the man escaped punishment by bribing (and threatening) the jury.

Nina, being a hypocrite and a desperate human being a big friend of justice and a vigilant, decides to avenge the crippled clientess by maiming her abuser. However, the man dies during the torture, and Nina, in a state of shock, tried to get rid of the body, unsuccessfully. She was caught and sent to prison, where she lived through some shit and nearly got killed.

But she also gained a stand, that's pretty cool.

With a help of her newfound ability she escapes, collects her belongings and flies to Naples (the only foreign city she was in once, because of her sisters work). She works as a PI, although most of her cases are "my spouse is acting strangely, he/she is probably cheating on me, check it out".

Aaaaand actually... I was planning to write a huuuuge funny angsty cool bizarre and d e e p detective story of how she worked with bucci gang (with little funny encounters with other canon characters) (and with more badass OCs of mine😎). Someday I will.......

A bit more about her as a person I guess?(+ random facts)

Her exterior might look cold, but in all actuality she is very sociable and fun to hang out with.

She is extremely sarcastic and loves to make fun of people (lovingly, of course).

She is caring and clingy towards people she trusts (and it's pretty hard for her to trust, she's a scorpio) . If she trusts you, she'll show you a lot of attention, both physical and verbal.

She is a kind of chameleon: she tries to behave in such a way as to win people over (although sometimes she misreads them).

Awfully, awfully petty. Won't try to harm you if you wronged her, though she'll be very mean towards you and probably will spit in your coffee.

Has a tendency to be biased towards some people (*cough cough* mafia dudes for example *cough cough*).

Paranoid and suspicious because of her job and past experiences.

E x t r e m e l y c u r i o u s. She longs to know everything about everyone, so she uses her stand to spy on people she finds interesting... she is creepy lady, uh-huh.,.,.,.,

Keeps her vulnerable side to herself. Probably won't openly speak about her feelings. Rare occasions only. Very rare.

Peek-A-Boo, unlike her user, is adorkable little baby :). She is much more open and friendly, expressing Nina's caring cute side. I keep imagining how Peek-A-Boo climbs everywhere, looking-touching-shifting different things out of curiosity. (Probably she is ENFP, lol)

Nina has a collection of photos of weird people on her laptop.

She's a pretty good singer. Also, she can play synth (one hand only... but she tries!).

Her favorite musician is Nick Cave, she resonates with his goth sad bastrad music... She likes Siouxsie And The Banshees as well, BUT that's obvious, yeah... She likes music in general, can tell you thousand cool facts, can name you thousand obscure bands.

Feminist queen

Uses lots of metaphors in her speech. She says that it's her "russian" habit since she grew in Soviet Union where it was hard to freely express your opinion directly... or maybe she's just pretentious, who knows.

She has a lot of plants in her flat, though she doesn't really know how to take care of them. That's why they die so often. (Symbolism? Yep.) But she has a cactus named Budgie. Peek-A-Boo likes it vvv much. She tried to take it outside with her few times. Nina said no. ( "Let me see what you have?" "A cactus!" " N O.")

Associates herself with a dog. It's her favorite animal. ( I even named her playlist as a "woof woof bork bork")

Her favorite film is "Beware of the Car"(1966). Fav book is "Les Misérables".

The most important fact. She likes pineapple pizza. She fights Italians because of the pineapple pizza. "It's tasty, you guys aRE JUST MEAN."

That's it folks. Thank you very much for reading, you are cool. You can ask me something about OC in comments,.,.,.(about her design👀).,.,.,.,. Or you can just ask anything.