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safetycar-restart · 2 years ago

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I have absolutely shitty day so this soft night is a blessing for me.

Do you have any thoughts on how to cheer up subs? Do they have any rituals that always cheer them up, or do you have to do a specific thing? Maybe sometimes you have to get them little thing like plushie and cuddle them and after that they're good. (Could you include Oscar here?)

- 🪸

Firstly, I'm so sorry you had a shitty day! I know you sent this in yesterday but I didnt get time to answer it then so I hope it's okay that I'm only getting to it now! This is such a cute question and I'm gonna write a little bit about a few subs (including Oscar) :))

OSCAR:

Honestly I think quality time is the way to go for Oscar? He isnt very receptive to little gifts, he likes them of course, but they don't instantly make his mood better.

However, finding out that you've set aside an entire evening just for him? That will make him giddy for the ENTIRE day. If he texts you and says he's had an awful day and you tell him that he can choose a movie and watch it between your thighs? His day has been made.

Scenes are wonderful too of course. But what Oscar really needs to feel better is to be reminded that his dom loves and cares for him, so much so that they would put aside time for him.

CHARLES:

Charles actually tends to get upset quite a bit? It's NEVER because of you though. He could never be upset because of his dom, his dom is the light of his life. But you're his safe space, which means he shows you his true emotions and honestly he's just a very sensitive little boy?

But that's okay because making him feel better is genuinely the easiest thing ever. A little gift, like a plushie or a little chocolate always makes him feel better. But honestly just a hug and a forehead kiss will have him smiling too?

He gets upset a lot, but all he needs is some kisses and snuggles from his dom and he's happy again.

MICK:

Mick is usually a very happy sub, and it takes a lot to get him upset enough that it seeps into his time with you. Because normally the moment he's alone with you, it's like all his stress just melts away and he can be your happy good boy.

But when he does get upset enough that he can't be happy with you, then the trick is just to look after him?

It's happened enough times that you have a whole routine. First he gets a nice bubble bath, you undress him and get into the bath with him to wash him. Sometimes you'll give him a soft hand job in the bath, sometimes not. You'll often give him a massage then, nothing sexual just to relax him. Then he gets to cuddle on the couch with you, his head on your chest while you play with his hair. Just some nice quiet time where you take care of everything.

LANDO:

To be honest, Lando is a bit of a little shit. When he's upset, everyone knows about it and it becomes everyone's problem. Yet you're the only one who can reset him (to the point where sometimes his trainer will call you, begging you to please fly over and work your magic on Lando so that he can stop being a bitch to everyone).

And what he needs is one of two things. Sometimes it's just to unwind with you, to cuddle with you and watch funny videos and be able to decompress. Others times, when he's got too much energy and can't calm down, then you have to scene with him and be HARSH. That's usually the state he's in when mclaren call you, begging you to please just reset him.

You absolutely wreck him and then put him back together. And then he's back to being a happy Lando.

PIERRE:

If Pierre is upset, what he really needs is a safe space to decompress, that's it. You're his safe person, his dom is the one person he can trust with absolutely everything, the one person he knows for a fact will always keep his secrets.

So honestly you just have to let him kneel for you and bitch about everything that's been going on? He lets it all out, and he holds nothing back. You just sit there, letting him get it all off his chest. Then he'll be happy again.

#sub!pierre #sub!oscar #sub!lando #sub!charles #sub!mick #ms #pg #op #ln #cl #nsfw.#gn!reader #soft soft vibes #🪸

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from-a-reckless-writer · 3 years ago

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dove down my rabbit hole of wips and one of my wips isnt a wip anymore! so here, have some gay shit....

“Kelly wants to get married in the woods, I want to get married in Midvale. So, apparently, our wedding will just happen via Zoom. Her in the woods, me at the beach. Ain’t that just fucking grand?”

Alex comes through the door like a hurricane covered in leather. Her helmet lands on Kara’s counter loudly. Her keys haphazardly thrown somewhere in the general direction of the bowl by the door.

“Then have two weddings.”

Alex follows the voice and her eyes zero in on her sister’s best friend.

Lena is sitting on the floor of Kara’s apartment, wearing an oversized sweater. Her dark hair spilling down her shoulders softly. A hand wrapping around a wine glass, the other typing on her laptop, not even jumping in the slightest at the commotion that is Alex’s entrance.

Alex plops down on the couch sighing loudly, not even batting an eye at this utterly domestic scene that is her sister washing the dishes with Lena Luthor on the floor of her apartment.

Lena doesn’t comment at the Danvers’ Sisters antics and Alex doesn’t call them out on the ridiculousness that Lena and Kara are still keen on keeping up.

The three of them already well desensitized to one another’s preferred brand of bullshitery.

“You know, sometimes I forget you're a rich-ass bitch and then you say shit like that and suddenly, I remember,” Alex says, smoothly snatching the wine from Lena’s hand.

She finishes the entire glass in one gulp and Lena rolls her eyes. Alex had finally proposed to Kelly the other week and well, that meant this week all of them had fallen victim to the Olsen-Danvers wedding debacle. It seems today isn’t the day that that whole dilemma is going to stop.

The wedding, of course, was still a few months away, but both parties were stressing about it as if it was going to happen immediately the next day.

Kara swoops in then, mussing up Alex’s hair, earning her an annoyed Hey stop it! before putting down another wine glass and pouring for Lena. Her arms are still wet from washing the dishes.

Lena murmurs her thanks and continues what she was saying, “Well, since you’ve finally remembered that I’m a billionaire. Let me pay for two weddings.”

Alex chokes on the wine.

“What? You’re kidding me, right?”

Lena continues typing, ignoring Alex’s shock, you’d think she didn’t just offer to pay for a wedding.

“Well, I mean, I’m never gonna get married,” Lena explains, “but if you let me do this, I can brag around that I’ve paid for two weddings. Not to mention I’m gonna make two brides very, very happy.”

“Or,” Kara interjects, lowering herself on the opposite side of the couch, perfect for Lena to lean back between Kara’s legs and lay her head on the side of her thigh. “You can just wait for Kelly to get here,” Kara says, pointedly. “Talk it out like normal adults and reach a compromise.”

Kara’s hands start to snake their way from Lena’s hair to Lena’s shoulders, massaging, all too aware that Lena won’t stop whatever it is she’s working on on her laptop till everybody gets here.

Lena lets herself melt and closes her eyes, sighing as Kara’s fingers dip at the junction of her neck and shoulder with just the right amount of pressure.

“I don’t wanna get married in the woods, Kara.”

Lena opens one eye to take a peek at Alex, who looks exasperated, her eyes pleading, gulping down another glass of wine.

“Don’t tell me,” Kara replies. “Tell Kelly.”

“The bugs, Kara,” Alex moans. “Imagine the bugs, and the moss and the ughhh.”

She dramatically thumps the back of her head on the couch.

“Imagine the soil. Clumpy wet soil. Eurgh. Ew. What if I fall face first in that? What if I trip over a stupid tree root in my heels? In my wedding dress?!”

“Alex, you don’t even have a dress yet,” Kara deadpans.

“I thought you were gonna wear a suit,” Lena adds.

“You two suck.” Alex pouts.

****

The rest of their friends arrive and Kara finally succeeds in prying Lena’s work laptop away from her. Alex was already teasing the line from tipsy to drunk by the time Kelly comes through the door.

“Let’s get married in Vegas!!!!” Is how Alex decides to greet her fiance.

Kelly laughs, gives her a peck then answers, “As much as that sounds like a very convenient wedding, I don’t think Eliza would appreciate that, baby.”

Alex frowns at being rejected, sags against the couch and crosses her arms. Why does Kelly always have to be right?

“How much has she had to drink?” Kelly turns to Kara.

“Uhh ask Lena. She made her switch to whiskey.”

Lena—who Kelly thinks was way too busy nuzzling against Kara’s neck to even answer her question—mumbles something that sounds like “S’was just two glasses.”

Kelly just shakes her head, makes Alex drink a glass of water. Her ring making a clink against the glass.

“Alright, what if,” Nia sing-songs, eyes sparkling with mischief, “we just settle this whole wedding thing with Charades?”

Nia claps her hands together like some gameshow host and Kelly takes a deep breath through the nose.

She’s been to enough Game Nights to know where this is headed.

Everybody else was intoxicated enough to accept the suggestion as a grand idea, not at all even thinking that: Hey, isn’t this something we should all take seriously?? Maybe ask the brides what they want, maybe???

Kara nods enthusiastically, agreeing immediately, “Oh!! That’s a great idea! Fun and fair at the same time!”

“Olsen vs. Danvers. Brides get to pick their teams.”

Nia pulls a white board out of nowhere, uncaps a marker and writes “Team Danvers”, “Team Olsen” separated by a neat line in the middle.

“Are we really letting Nia take charge of our wedding venue?" She hears Alex whisper from where she has her tucked at the crook of her neck.

Kelly sneaks a glance at the chaos happening before their eyes; Brainy already claiming to be on Kelly’s team, J’onn shaking his head opting to be the game scorer instead and refusing to participate, somebody’s shouting about: NIA, DREAM PROJECTIONS AT CHARADES IS CHEATING!!!!

Guess this is their life now.

Kelly smirks, boops Alex on the nose and says, “Scared you’ll lose, Danvers?”

****

Alex loses by three points.

“How was I supposed to know you were gesturing 'Transformers'!?!” She barks at Kara, throwing her hands in exasperation.

“I pointed at Nia!” Kara huffs, incredulous at the fact that her sister is blaming her.

Nia lost them a point too!

“What does Nia even have to do with it???” Alex’s voice grows higher in pitch. Her brows furrow in a mix of confusion and frustration.

“Trans, Alex. Trans.”

“Oh my God,” Alex groans. “How are you this dumb?”

And that was the story of how Kelly got her dream wedding.

****

The frenzy finally dies down, some time between Nia making up another drinking game and J’onn making her sit back down. A movie that none of them were watching provides a background noise to the almost lazy atmosphere. Kelly and Alex were pressed close on the far end of the couch, enjoying the temporary quiet.

“Guess we’re getting married in the woods, huh?” Alex murmurs.

“I guess we are,” Kelly whispers back. Alex beams at her, grinning dopily at the thought of finally getting the ending they deserve. It would be the perfect day, she has no doubt about that. No matter where they are. It would be perfect because they got there together.

Alex can’t wait.

“What? Why are you looking at me like that?”

“Nothing.”

Alex continues to smile stupidly, nudges her nose to Kelly’s.

“Just— I don’t really care where we get married, I guess.”

“Oh yeah?” Kelly raises an amused brow at her.

“Mm-hm. So long as you’re the one walking down the aisle.”

Alex presses their lips together, breathes Kelly in deep and for the first time that night, she feels that the future isn’t so scary, even though there is still a very large possibility that she might trip over a tree root on her wedding day.

Somebody interrupts their kiss.

“She’s only saying that ‘cos she lost.”

“Shut up, Luthor.”

****

“Text me when you get home!”

Lena hears Kara call loudly after her sister, before closing the door. Game Night has officially ended and as usual she’s still here. She’ll always be here, she thinks for a brief moment. The thought holding more depth than it should.

Kara didn’t even question her when everybody began filing out and Lena just started picking up the discarded dirty plates and walking them to the sink. They’re well past the point of asking each other if the other would stay over.

It was already some unspoken rule.

Already well past the point of Lena wanting to ask Kara what the hell it is they’re doing.

She’s bent over the sink, scrubbing—Kara doesn’t own a dishwasher for the sole reason that she finds doing the dishes therapeutic—when Lena takes a glance over her shoulder.

Kara is sitting on a high stool near the counter, casually flicking through her phone. It was Lena’s turn to do the dishes tonight. Once upon a time her doing the dishes would have resulted in a fight. “I can superspeed the dishes. Why would you even want to do them?” A statement that would be met with an eye roll.

Kara has learned not to fight her on it again, after around the 7th time that Lena had stubbornly insisted and Supergirl got doused with dishwashing liquid.

And now, it’s become some sort of routine, Kara does the dishes after lunch and Lena does the dishes after dinner. Oh, how the paparazzi would kill for this—Lena Luthor Knows What A Sponge Is?

“Is it true when you told Alex you’re never going to get married?”

Kara decides to break their quiet.

“Yeah, pretty certain about that one, why?” Lena turns around, cocks a curious brow. If she’s being honest she’s beyond certain that she’s not going to get married. She always jokes about how she’s married to L-Corp but it isn’t till now that she realizes how true that is, and...how lonely.

“I don’t know,” Kara murmurs, not meeting Lena’s eyes. “I just like the idea of you getting married, I guess.”

“What?” Lena chuckles at that; genuinely confused but still curious.

“Well, I mean—” Kara wobbles through her words.

“I guess, I just— I like the idea of you walking down the aisle...in a white dress,” Kara muses.

Then, “Or a suit!!” she quickly amends. “If you wanna wear a suit, that is. That can totally be arranged, you know?” Kara waves her hand around and it’s like now that she’s started, she can’t stop.

And Lena’s just standing there, water still dripping from her elbow, unsure of how to feel about Kara imagining her getting married. Quite an incredulous scene isn’t it? Her getting married? What a crazy thing to say, an even crazier scenario to imagine!

She snaps out of it, realizing Kara’s still rambling.

“I have no objections whatsoever with that, if you wanna wear a suit. And yeah, you know? I just— I like that idea. I like the idea of you dancing to your wedding song. The idea of you exchanging your vows, the idea of you-”

“Kara,” Lena decides to put a stop to it, since it’s clearly evident Kara won’t be stopping any time soon. And Lena's feeling way too many things that she doesn’t want to feel at the moment. She’s sure that she’s going to feel more, if she doesn’t put a stop to it herself.

“I’m well aware that it’s the best friend’s job to help with the bride’s wedding,” She says, “but, darling don’t you think you’re putting just a bit too much effort into this? Certainly seems like you’ve thought about it a lot.”

At that, Kara’s cheeks turn a light pink, squirming sheepishly under Lena’s questioning gaze.

Shouldn’t Kara be thinking about her own wedding? How beautiful she would look walking down the aisle. How her blonde hair would look so nicely with her dress. How happy she would finally be after finding someone she could share her life with. Not that Lena's been thinking about those kinds of things. No, of course not. That’d be hypocritical of her at this point. Why would she even— Why were they even talking about this again???

Lena tries to rein in it, tries to focus on Kara again; hands finally finding a dry towel, hesitantly walking into Kara’s space to hear the blonde more clearly.

“Well, I mean- Like I said, I do really like the idea of you getting married,” Kara repeats herself slowly.

And before Lena can come any closer, “Like the idea of you getting married…to me. More specifically,” Kara adds more quietly.

“What?”

Lena stands frozen.

“I’m sorry, I don’t think I heard y- Kara, did you just?”

Lena’s heart is pounding away in her chest. Did she hear her right? Did Kara really just—

Lena’s a step away from her and Kara uses this to her advantage. She pulls Lena closer, tugging at her wrist, the towel dropping from Lena’s hands. Kara summons enough willpower to stare into Lena’s eyes.

“I like the idea of you getting married to me, Lena Luthor.”

“Kara, I’m sorry- What?” Lena jerks away from her, the words finally landing.

“Is that a no?”

Kara lets her go. She can’t focus on Lena’s heartbeat to assess the situation more. Kara’s own heart is betraying her, drumming so loudly in her ears.

“Uh- no, that's definitely not a no?” says Lena hesitantly, eyes wide, breathing nervously. She turns away from Kara for a minute to take a breath, hands fidgeting about.

She whirls around again to face, mutters, “You do realize marriages are for people who are—”

She pauses.

How do you exactly phrase that wedding proposals are for people who are actually in some kind of romantic relationship? And not for people who casually stay over every goddamn Thursday without fail?And okay, maybe sometimes, in a much different reality, would willingly commit fratricide to save the other? And in an also much different reality, willingly expose a secret identity to save the other?

Lena can’t find the right words.

“Oh, I don’t know, Kara,” Lena scoffs, shaking her head disbelievingly. “Marriage is for people who are actually dating each other.”

Kara takes her sarcasm as a good sign and pulls her in again.

“Well,” Kara begins. She can hear Lena’s heart thumping erratically, now that Kara’s gotten her bearings.

“We can always have our first date after the wedding, right?”

Aren’t they well past the point of dating anyway?

She’s got Lena standing between her legs now, her hands wrapping around her waist.

“First date and honeymoon all in one. That sounds great, doesn’t it? I can fly you wherever you want, Paris, Maldives, hell I even have a Fortress in the Arctic, if you’re into that.”

Lena stares at her, blinks once, twice; shakes her head and lets out a noise between a laugh and a scoff.

“Kara Zor-El, you are one ridiculous woman,” She breathes, putting a hand on Kara’s cheek. Because what else is there to say? This whole conversation really is ridiculous. But at the same time Lena feels like she’s floating? Like this may be the best moment of her life, and of course, it’s going to be ridiculous. This is Kara she’s dealing with, after all.

She doesn’t know what she’s going to do if Kara reveals this to be just some sort of joke.

But the way her blue eyes are piercing through Lena’s, so earnest and so warm, argues otherwise.

“So, what do you say? Wanna get married?”

“Are you serious right now?” Lena asks, still unbelieving. This is beyond crazy. They’ve fought aliens and monsters and traveled through time but this? This is just beyond crazy.

“Lena, do I look like I’m joking? And besides, you’d already offered to pay for two weddings, why not pay for our two weddings, instead?”

She shakes her head again, let’s herself fall closer to Kara, lets out a laugh against her neck.

“Mm. You want a Kryptonian ceremony too?”

“Yeah.” Kara’s voice turns shy. “If that’s alright by you.”

“Of course, that’s alright by me. I’d be honored.”

Her heart feels more than full at the thought of Kara wanting to share that part of her with Lena. She’s always had some doubts whenever the topic of Kara’s Kryptonian heritage arises, always half-afraid she’s overstepped on something that isn’t hers.

But looks like there was nothing to fear all along.

“So, we’re getting married, huh?” Kara wiggles her brows, her face breaking into a wide grin.

“Yes. Mm-hm,” Lena hums against her. “I do. I’d marry you. Let’s get married.”

“Seal it with a kiss?"

****

“Hi.”

Lena blearily opens her eyes, follows the soft voice, her bare back being caressed by the sun filtering through Kara’s curtains.

“Hi,” She whispers back. All this feels much too like a fever dream. She’s half-tempted to pinch herself just to check. She’s woken up beside Kara a million times before but she’ll never get used to the sight of soft golden hair and sleepy blue eyes.

Kara gives her a soft peck and the feel of her lips sends Lena reeling.

The previous night was a whirlwind in her mind’s eye. The moment Lena murmured her 'Yes, please.', Kara kissed her passionately. Once they broke away, Kara had zipped around the apartment, Lena too dazed to even ask what it was Kara was looking for.

She watched as Kara tore off a keychain from one of her bags, curled the keyring to fit Lena’s finger and whispered, “This’ll do. For now.”

Kara had kissed her knuckles reverently, her lips making Lena’s blood sing in her veins. The feel of mangled metal fitted just for her left hand is an imprint on her soul. A promise of more to come.

They didn’t make it out of the kitchen the first time. Kara had lifted her by the waist and set her down on the kitchen counter. Which was a good thing, because Lena couldn’t feel her legs after.

They didn’t make it to the bedroom the second time either. She had tackled Kara onto the couch, pinning her wrists together, licking at the shell of Kara’s ear. “My turn now,” Lena had whispered. The way Kara shivered underneath her was enough of a reward. How long had they been waiting for this?

Flashes of last night had her hips bucking slightly unto Kara’s leg sandwiched between her own, but before it could escalate further...

“I have exciting news to share,” Kara tells her.

“Really?”

“Mm-hmm,” Kara hums, now nosing at Lena’s hair.

“What is it?” Lena asks.

“I’m getting married.”

“Oh you are?” Lena plays along.

“Yes. I’m getting married to my best friend,” whispers Kara, almost conspiratorially. “How cool is that?”

Kara looks giddy with excitement and Lena knows she’s mirroring that exact same expression right now.

“Mm. Very cool, darling.”

Kara giggles and they trade more lazy kisses before Lena breaks away to breathe.

“Quite a coincidence though,” Lena husks out against Kara’s lips.

“Oh really? Why?” Kara asks, tries to keep a serious neutral face despite her nose scrunching up in that cute smile that Lena can’t resist

“I’m also getting married,” Lena confides, “To my best friend," she adds, eyes flashing. "Isn’t that great?”

“Very great.” Kara nods slowly, blonde hair falling into her face, a hand running through dark tresses.

“I love you,” Lena whispers, her lips brushing Kara’s softly.

“I love you, too.” Kara kisses her harder then, her hands lazily wandering along Lena’s skin.

They lie there quietly for a few moments, basking in the morning glow and then, “Alex will kill us.”

Lena snorts, twists in the sheets and says, “I think your sister is too busy planning her wedding to even think about plotting our murder.”

read follow-up here.

#im praying we get a dansen wedding u guys #anyways yeah this is something they would totally do right?#get married on a whim #if u see a typo no u didnt #oh and also im still working on the prompts u guys sent me so there's that #thats the majority of my wips cos im one slow writer #happy supercorp sunday lovely people #supercorp ficlet of sorts #the reckless writer writes #supercorp #rcklss writes

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im-not-a-simp-i-swear · 3 years ago

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So, here's an idea for a hc/scenario; how would the demon bros react going to a (finnish) sauna with the mc? Even if the mc is a more intense sauna go-er i doubt the warmth would much bother them but well. For chaos points the mc brings a vihta; a bundle of birch tree sticks with leaves that one smacks themself (or others) with. It's for aromatherapy and massaging/stimulating the skin-

This one took a bit longer than usual because i dont know how to read apperantely.

SAUNA WITH THE BROTHERS

The idea was offered out of nowhere, but after some convincing you managed to get the brothers to go with you to a human realm sauna. This is how it went:

💙LUCIFER:

- you barely managed to get him to come because of "work" and "diavolo" and blah blah blah

- but seriously it took pretty much everyone to get him to come with you guys to the sauna, you mightve even convinced Diavolo to help out a bit with this workaholic dad

- enjoys the warmth and the dumb conversations that happen inside the sauna once it happens, specially since it seems to be that most of his brothers are also calm and relaxing

- when you bring in the vihta and start smacking him he ends up confused. "What are you doing MC?"

- ends up enjoying the stimulation it gices to him however. He pretty much enjoyed the experience

💛MAMMON

- didnt took much to convince him, all you have to do is sit next to him i guess

- tries to relax but i like to think he is a bit to energetic so he isnt a fan of just sitting and talking

- doesnt like the smacking either at the start but he grows to like it

- cant choose between wanting to come to see you in the bathing suit you were gonna wear or if it was for relaxation, it ends up being both

- do you remember that one episode of the anime where they go to the beach? This is his second chance at seeling pictures of lucifer, and its the second time he fails because of the steam messing up the camera lens

🧡LEVIATHAN

- convincing him might take a bit since he is a very self concious boy, it doesnt help much either the part where he can only wear a bathijg suit or a towel

- once you manage to drag him along with the boys you'll find him sitting in a corner trying to play on his DDD, only for the warmth of the room to ruin the experience.

- will end up joining in on the conversation once it starts to be about Mammon's dumb adventures

- the vihta does its job but in a very confusing way for him

- could go worse honestly

💚SATAN

- went with the purpose to relax, somehow left feeling more uncomfortable than before

- another victim of not being able to process the smacking of the vihta, ends up not working on him and if anything stresses him out

- dont ask why it just happened

- ended up falling asleep during the conversatipn because of how warm the sauna is, no one bothered hin or tried to pull a prank on him because of the same reasln he fell asleep in the first place

- made sure his towel was well put on so that nothing funny ended up happening

💖ASMODEUS

- takes of the towel the moment he enters the sauna, then he realizes that this isnt that kind of situation so he putted it back on

- went to see you in the towel/suit but also to have a nice relaxing day with his brothers

- hey its family time you know? Gotta share them beauty and relaxation tips when you can, that was how satan fell asleep in the first place

- will also sit next to you to practice these relaxing methods while pissing off Mammon in the process

- this fine individual has definetely done this before so it pretty much ends up being another day in his life

❤BEELZEBUB

- im pretty sure you cant bring food into a sauna but this man doesnt care, what are you going to do?

- Its the avatar of gluttony, he is hungry, he will sneak in food or will commit a crime for not being allowed to bring food

- listens to the conversation and drops a couple of stuff, however he doesnt speak much

- enjoys the vihta alot, he is a big boy and probably needs a massage now and then, so he wont complain at all about the spanking

- just dont be a dick and spank his face or whatever cause of course he'll get upset about it

💜BELPHIE

- is only going because everyone else is so.

- definetely falls asleep thanks to how warm the sauna is, he might even lay next to satan (no cuddling however because its still a sauna and touching people in saunas is sticky and gross)

- started participating in the conversation but then fell asleep

- idk man this boy just likes to sleep alot like dont be surprised if he ends up just sleeping the entire time

- is probably the only one who'd get splinter by laying on the wood thingies for so long

#obey mammon #obey me #obey me asmodeus #obey me beelzebub #obey me headcanons #obey me leviathan #obey me lucifer #obey me mc #obey me satan #obey me belphie #obey me levi x reader #obey me luci x reader #obey me mammon x reader #obey me satan x reader #obey me asmo x reader #obey me belphie x reader #obey me beel x reader

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shotokimchi · 4 years ago

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Coffee & Printer

Pairing: Shoto Todoroki x Reader x Touya Todoroki (Dabi)

Modern Office Au!

Summary: You are the secretary of Touya and Shoto Todoroki. The heads of the Todoroki Company.

Note: All characters are aged up!

Warnings: Threesome, anal sex, vaginal sex, blowjob, dirty talking and some filthy stuff, pure little shoto and nasty dabi p-p

*knock knock knock* After waiting for a response for fifteen seconds “Come in.” You took a deep breath and opened the door of the big elite room. There were two giant desks for the heads of the company, the older one was Touya Todoroki. He was charismatic, charming a huge flirt but also really hard working and strict. The other one was Shoto Todoroki; calm, a little cold but smart and also kind. Touya lifted his head with your arrival and nodded to you. “Sir, here’s the schedule of the meetings we’re gonna attend today.” He eyed the list and a small smile of approval appeared on his lips “Good.” You bowed and just when you were about the leave... “L/n.” You turned towards the younger sibling and walked towards his desk “Yes, Mr.Todoroki?” He handed you some documents “I want a copy of those documents and can you bring me some coffee?” You gave a small smile and bowed “Of course, sir.”

You were working with the Todoroki Company for four years. That’s why you were the secretary of the Todoroki siblings. You were a hardworker and strict towards the unexperienced employees but you always smiled and tried to be kind. You were the only one who could deal with the stupid shenanigans of the Todoroki siblings, you weren’t just an ordinary secretary, they valued your opinions and listened to you.

“Good morning L/n-san!” An employee greeted you as you made your way towards the printing room. “Good morning, can you prepare a cup of cafe latte for Mr.Shoto then send it to his room?” The employee nodded and left, after printing the documents you made your way towards your personal room. Just when you were about to sit on your chair, your phone rang, it was Shoto. You knew why he was calling so after mentally rolling your eyes, you answered. “Yes, Mr.Todoroki?” after a second of silence you heard his soft voice “L/n, i asked you to bring me a cup of coffee?” you pinched the bridge of your nose “I told them to bring it to your office, are they late?” you knew where this conversation was going... “No, but i wanted you to bring me one, It doesnt taste the same.” There it was, the pouty tone of the Ceo, sometimes he really acted like a child. “Mr.Todoroki, i cant always bring you your coffee, i need some work to do.” He sighed and a smirk appeared on your lips “Then bring me the documents that i told you to copy.” You grabbed the documents and aswered “Of cour-” But he cut you off “And bring me a cafe latte on the way.” Then he hung up.

You squeezed the cup in your hand, sometimes the Todoroki’s acted like kids and you felt like their bigger sister but you tried to keep your cool, you didnt wanted to be unprofessional. “knock knock knock!!!” this time, your knock were stronger and annoyed. “Come in.” After hearing Shoto’s voice, you barged in. Touya gave you a confused and curious look but you paid no mind “Here’s your coffee sir.” Because of your harsh behaviour, Shoto gave you an astonished look and took the cup “Thank you, L/n.” You heard someone chuckle and your eyes met with turquoise ones “Did you just called her for a cup of coffee Shoto?” The younger simbling sent a small glare towards his brother and sipped his drink. “By the way, L/n.” Touya’s voice caught your attention “Lets go, we need a meeting to arrenge.” You nodded and left the room with Touya.

“Please wait, Mr.Touya.” Before he could open the door you stopped him and he gave you a questioning look. “What is it?” Your hands found his necktie and fixed it “There.” He eyed you for a moment, then started to laugh. Your cheeks started to heat up and you frowned “What?” He ran his fingers through his black locks and shook his head “You really act like a baby sitter sometimes. If you pamper me too much, i’ll have a hard time finding the perfect bride, my expectations are keep getting higher y’know?” Your eyes widened “What does that mean, Mr.Touya?” He smirked and shook his head “Nevermind, lets go.”

The meeting went smoothly and after dealing with the brothers, you finally managed to sit on your chair and do some paperwork, after working for three hours, your phone rang... again but this time it was Touya. “L/n, where did you put my glasses again? I cant find them.” You sighed and answered “Mr.Touya, they were on your desk. Are you sure that they’re not on your head right now?” After a minute of silence he chuckled “I guess you were right.” You hung up on his face and continued your work. There were some documents that needed to be printed so you made you way towards the printer room. Luckily, it was empty so it was going to be fast and easy. While waiting for the paper, the door opened and Shoto appeared, you bowed “If you needed the printer, you should’ve just called me sir.” He didnt answered and locked the door, you raised a brow “Sir?” He started to walk towards you and your heart started to beat faster, when you felt his hot breath on your face, you panicked “S-sir?” He started to lean towards you “I couldnt find you in your room so i asked the other employees.” Then he put some distance between you. Did you get it wrong or was it on purpose? “Come to our office when you’re done, my brother and i need to discuss something with you.” You nodded and when he disappeared from your vision, you gave a sigh of relief, what was happening to you?

You didnt know why you were feeling nervous, just when you were about to knock on the door a weird feeling surrounded you but you didnt know why. Shaking your head you knocked on the door and after hearing their voices of approval, you slowly twisted the knock. “Ah, there you are~” Touya was standing in front of his desk with some papers in his hands “What do you need help with?” After hearing your confused tone, Touya chuckled and shared a look with Shoto, he was always quiet but this time it was different Shoto looked unsure and...nervous? Touya started to walk towards the door, you watched his movements with a confused look but in an instant, a pair of strong arms wrapped around your waist and you gasped. “Dont just look at my brother...” Shoto’s hot breath made your cheeks burn. “S-sir! What are you doing?!” Touya chuckled and locked the door. “I have been waiting for this moment for so long, dont just keep her all to yourself little bro.” Your breath hitched in your throat, what the fuck was happening? Just when you were about to open your mouth, Shoto sucked on your neck and a sweet moan escaped your lips. “Si-Shoto, please stop!” Then Shoto raised his head and your teary eyes met with his mismatched ones, a small tinge of pink was visible on his cheeks, what he did was so dirty yet, he looked so innocent and it felt so good. His eyes were clouded with lust and care... Then Touya’s fingers tilted your chin and his lips found yours a small mewl escaped from your lips and he forced his tounge into your mouth. It was soft and hot, you never felt something like this before. Shoto’s hands found your blouse and started unbuttoning it, then he yanked it off and you felt so bare. “Let me tell you what we’re doing.” Touya’s voice sent shivers down your spine “Our old man wants us to get married soon, but we’re not doing that since we both took a liking to someone~” Shoto nuzzled his face on your shoulder and cupped your clothed breasts, your hands grabbed his wrists and he kissed your cheek “I dont wanna get m-married Y/n... I love you.” Your lip quivered and your fingers found his hair, he sounded so desperate. “Say baby girl, you know us more than anyone else, how can we marry someone else?” He started to leave hickeys on the other side of your neck “T-touya...” You tried to call out to him but it was more like a whisper. Both of them started to drown your neck in red and blue bruises and your hands massaged their scalps. With a swift move, Touya took of your bra and threw it somewhere across the room. “Look lil bro, she’s beautiful isnt she?” Shoto nodded and squeezed your nipples “S-shoto~” Shoto started to twist and tug at them while Touya got on his knees and ripped your tight black skirt. He grabbed one of your legs and threw it on his shoulder “Your skin is so soft baby girl~” His teeth grazed your thigh and you jumped. It was all too much, Shoto’s chest pressed against your back, his hands on your tits, and Touya’s hands roaming over your clothed core and thigs, it was too much... “Please...” You mewled and they both stopped their movements. “Say it again, love...” Shoto’s soft voice melted your heart and Touya gave your tighs a squeeze “Beg us to fuck you silly.” Then he took of your panties and toyed with the little ribbon on the front. “Open your mouth, you slut.” You obeyed and he stuffed them in your mouth, Shoto’s eyes widened and his member poked you from behind “Look at her lil bro, she looks like a mess. You like your panties in your mouth, yeah?” You whined and he smacked your thigh, Shoto’s eyes were watching you with awe. “Watch and learn lil bro. Now, on your knees, slut.” The ach between your legs were unbearable so you immediately obeyed and sat on the floor “Look at her face Shoto. Isn’t it erotic?” Shoto audibly gulped and nodded. Touya unbuckled his pants and your eyes popped out of their sockets, he was huge. “You like what you see, baby?” You averted your eyes and he grabbed your chin “Now let me tell you what you’re gonna do, youre gonna suck my cock and Shoto’s gonna watch.” His tone was demanding, it was hard to resist, you nodded and he grabbed your hair. “That’s not fair Touya.” Touya laughed at his brother’s frustrated tone “Patience, lil bro.” Your touge circled his tip and he growled, you continued your movements and he showed his lenght in your mouth, you gagged and he hissed “Dont tease me slut, now suck.” You bobbed your head with a steady pace and Touya’s hips joined you. Then your eyes met with Shoto’s. He was stroking his length with a blush on his face, you moaned around Touya’s cock and he looked towards his brother. “Stroke his cock, baby girl.” Your eyes met with Shoto’s and he moaned at the sight, you were stunning. Drool was dripping from your chin and your cheeks were red. When he felt your warm hand around his lenght he let out a delicious moan and you couldnt help but whimper, you tightened your hold on Shoto’s cock and gave him the attention he deserved. “Thats enough baby, now suck his cock.” You turned your head towards Shoto’s lenght and he pushed it towards your face “Please Y/n, please please please...” You smiled and kissed the tip, he moaned and covered his face with his hand. Touya chuckled “Look what you’ve done to the Ceo of the Todoroki company, he is begging for your mouth. Now be a good girl and please us.” You nodded and wrapped your lips around Shoto, while stroking Touya. The room filled with moans, hisses and growls. Shoto was more vocal and that turned you on, Touya was all about growling and hissing and it was so sexy, they had their own charms and it amazed you. Shoto’s hips started to shake and his moans started to get louder “Y-y/n, fuck!” Then without a warning, he came inside of your mouth and being the good girl you are. You swallowed it all and opened your mouth, waiting for praise. Touya hissed “S-shit, thats hot.” his pace quickened and he came on your breasts. Shoto stroked your cheek and gave you a warm smile “Now its our turn to please you, love.”

Now you were sitting on Touya’s lap on the leather couch, legs wide open and a necktine around your wrists, his chest was pressed against your back and he was abusing your nipples while Shoto prepared some lube. “You ready, love?” Shoto asked and you gave an unsure nod. Touya’s long fingers started to tease your puckering asshole and it hurted, you whimpered and he shushed you with sloppy wet kisses meanwhile Shoto stroked your clit with slow teasing circles. “Not gonna lie, its gonna hurt but im gonna make it feel good baby.” You were scared but you trusted Touya so you nodded. He pressed his tip to your entrance and slowly pushed “T-touya!” You screamed and Shoto peppered your face with small kisses “It’s okay.” When he succesfully bottomed out, Shoto rubbed your wet heat with his longs lenght, you moaned at the sensation and grinde your hips. “S-sho.. Please.” After pecking your lips, Shoto filled your greedy hole with his lenght, you were so full and it was overwhelming but at the same time, it was good. “Mnh, please~” You were deperate for some friction, Touya grabbed your ass cheeks and started to thrust his hips “Thats it baby.” He moaned and Shoto joined his brother with a gentle pace, his cold fingers continued their assault on your clit and it was too much “Sh-shoto, faster!” Shoto smirked and increased his pace, it felt like heaven. “More, more, more!” You were screaming, tears were falling from your glossy eyes and your lips were puffy and red. Touya laughed and smacked your ass “Greedy,slut!” Both men were so fast, it was too much. Shoto’s hand were gripping your thighs for dear life while Touya’s hands were smacking the shit out of your cheeks. “Fuck! I can feel you lil bro.” The three of you were dripping with sweat but it didnt matter. “Please fill me up!” You screamed and tried to move your wrists but they were tied. Shoto’s hips were moving with an unhumanly speed and Touya wasnt any different. Your walls were spasming around them, your insides were melting. “S-shit, im cumming!” Touya warned and his hips stuttered, Shoto’s hips were still moving with a face pace then all of a sudden white clouded your vision and your walls squeezed the life out of their cocks Touya loudly cursed and Shoto’s warm liquid painted your insides. They managed to pull out and Touya untied the necktie, a dull ache surrounded your body and you sighed. Shoto grabbed some tissued and cleaned you. Then Touya wrapped his coat around your shoulders and smiled, it was a rare sight but he was beautiful. Your cheeks started to burn after the realisation and Touya chuckled “Hey you cant be embarrased after the things we’ve done.” Shoto rolled his eyes and wrapped an arm around your shoulders “Are you feeling okay, Y/n?” You smiled and nodded “Yes, thank you Shoto.” Then you gave them a confused look “So, what now?” Touya raised a brow “What do you mean, what? You belong to us now.” And he smirked, your heart started to beat faster and Shoto smiled “We love you, Y/n.” You smiled and looked at the beautiful men, you were so lucky to have them. All these years, you worked with them, ate with them and helped them. You knew them better than anyone else, you loved them. “Shoto, Touya... I love you too.” And this was the start of your relationship with the Todoroki siblings...

Note: If you liked it please reblog the fic! This is my 2nd time writing a smut fic so im really sorry if its bad! <3 ^^

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lynenspray · 5 years ago

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imagine like...wenjoy fucking just before irene comes back from work,, and joy cums in wendy, and when irene comes back she’s horny so she starts fucking wendy and then wendy has both joy’s and irene’s load inside,,

hmm,,, been yoinked out as fuck lately tryna crank prompts out from my inbox,,,

so why not i just write a quick lil gift for u anon-ie,, as reward for the lovely scenario u have provided

(n a break from the other prompts that need a bit more worldbuilding,,,, TT)

—

wenjoy 03 – extra cut 2

a/n: i dunno if this is gonna be part of the canon of the cheating!wenjoy au,,, we can still also have the other path where irene isnt g!p teehee

it ain’t the same

(wenjoy wenrene creampie)

"irene!“ wendy cried, face down into the pillow, convulsing as she came, feeling joy’s seed fill her up and paint her walls as she screamed her girlfriend’s name and not joy’s. she gasped for breath as her lower body trembled–her upper half had long given up, and the only reason she could keep her hips off the bed was thanks to joy’s strong grip around her. and god, joy was really strong. she handled wendy like a ragdoll–dragging her from her entryway and then holding her face down on the mattress.

“fuck,” she sobbed, collapsing completely on the bed as joy let go and pulled out. she felt the younger woman’s cum drip out of her, slow and sticky, and sighed at the blissful feeling. and also maybe the fact that she stained joy’s bed.

joy hovered over her, rubbing her still-hard cock against the swell of wendy’s exposed ass, raising her shirt with a light touch of her finger. “tsk, what a naughty girl,” she smirked at wendy trying to provoke her by screaming irene’s instead of her name. the younger chuckled darkly, rubbing her cum and quim coated length between wendy’s cheeks, grabbing her phone from beside wendy’s head. she tapped the button to stop recording.

that was hot.

damn. joy really hit the sex jackpot or whatever the fuck you’d call it with wendy. she placed a hand against wendy’s back, right above the bottom of her spine, and pressed down–angling the smaller woman’s ass up and squeezing a desperate whine out of her.

holy fuck, again? hadn’t wendy squeezed out all her cum out of her by now? was she a fucking monster or something?

so, of course, despite her thoughts, wendy only opened her legs wider and sparked the appearance of a devilish grin on the taller woman’s face, right before she slammed her dick back in her.

later that evening, wendy came home surprised to find irene lazing about on the couch, the TV on and switching incessantly between channels. irene fidgeted when she was thinking hard.

“babe, hey!” wendy checked her appearance at the mirror by the door. not a hair out of place. good. “why didn’t you tell me you got home early?” she walked towards the back of the couch and leaned down to press a kiss against the side of irene’s head, the older woman welcoming her touch with a smile.

“I still had some work to do when I got back anyway. how was your cafe date with joy?"

ah, right. wendy said she’d go on a short cafe trip with joy today. she rounded the couch and felt irene’s eyes watch her every move. was she suspicious? hm. better play it safe, then.

"we were supposed to go out." wendy sat down, a few inches of space between her and her girlfriend. “but then she got lazy so we just stayed over at her place and ordered in.”

irene turned the TV off, only the sunset lighting up the room now, and that was going to change soon. “you know you could have spent the day here instead.”

and risk her catching them? hah. “and risk disturbing you while you worked?” wendy pouted, which always worked on irene. “unnie, are you upset that I spend time with joy?"

irene’s brow wrinkled in confusion. "what? of course not.”

“then what?"

the older woman turned her head away, mouth set in a thin, straight line, eyes refusing to look at her. aw, she was kind of cute. but why was she acting like this if she wasn’t jealous?

"unnie,” wendy leaned closer, sliding up next to irene. it was risky to be doing this right after she’d had sex with joy, but if she was guessing right and it was one of the rare times that irene was horny, well…

hah, who was she kidding? she fucking loved that high-risk shit.

“did you… miss me? is that it?” she raised her hand and placed it right on irene’s navel, between the hem of her sweater and the waistband of her sweats. she moved in closer and spread her fingers open, rubbing back and forth on irene’s stomach as her breath became unsteady. oh, unnie, you’re too easy to rile up.

the younger woman placed a gentle kiss on the corner of irene’s jaw, right under her ear, and hid a smirk when she felt irene shift to pull her sweatpants down. wendy let out a tiny moan when she saw irene’s member slowly revealed, as if wendy hadn’t seen it in years. it felt like it, to be honest. irene was never vocal about how horny she was, and seemed only to have sex with wendy only because she wanted to please her and not because she enjoyed it. sometimes, though…

irene tugged on her shirt with a hand and eyed her from her place leaning back on the couch. she raised a brow, and wendy licked her lips, because god, unnie was so hot like this, looking at her like she had her wrapped around her little finger. if only she knew.

wendy leaned forward and took irene’s slowly hardening dick in her mouth. joy was shaped differently than irene, longer but not quite as meaty, but their taste was a bit similar, the musk of cock and cum underlying each of their individual scents. they both took care of themselves well, too, irene trimming her hairs with precision, joy’s bush a bit longer though still clean. all in all, they both had their own strengths, joy hitting those spots in wendy that she couldn’t quite reach herself, her rapid pace merciless, irene stretching her hole and stimulating her rim with her own rhythm, her own pace, fluid and steady.

what wendy liked about them both, though, was this look in their eye. joy looked at her like she was nothing more than dirt under her shoe, using her for her own pleasure, and wendy liked that. it was a different level.

with irene, though–

irene gently (too gently, as always) pushed wendy’s head away before sitting up to remove her sweats. when she sat back down, wendy was prepared to swallow her up again, but to her surprise the older woman turned so she could lay back against the armrest of the sofa now. she opened her legs as wide as they would go and put her hands behind her back, staring at wendy with that same expression. the one wendy the liked the most.

while joy treated her like trash, it was obvious that the younger woman enjoyed it. reveled in it. and wendy liked that, sure, she wanted someone to be rough with her, add that layer of naughtiness that she couldn’t get with irene.

but the way irene looked at her, sometimes… it was like wendy was barely worth her time. joy looked like she was willing to go out of her way to provoke her, but irene just looked–kind of like a queen. like whether wendy followed her or not, sucked her off or not–it wouldn’t matter. because she knew wendy would, that was just how the world worked. this was wendy’s favorite part of having sex with irene–this indifference. it was hot, being worth something that wasn’t even trash, just completely worthless that irene couldn’t be bothered to lift a finger. it was dizzying. if only irene would get like this more often. it got her pussy pulsing, aching to be filled by irene’s girth.

and so wendy took off her own underwear, sliding them down her thighs before she turned around, back to irene, adjusting on the sofa so irene’s now slightly straightened legs were between hers, wendy squatting and hovering over her dick.

“your shirt?” irene asked, lining up her dick with wendy’s entrance, lubricating her cock with both her precum and wendy’s own juice.

no. joy probably left marks without meaning to. she can’t risk it, even with the sun set and the living room darkened by dusk. “keep it on.”

irene clasped a handful of wendy’s shirt in her hand and pulled at it, choking wendy slightly and pulling her back as the older woman slowly slid in. fuck. she was so thick.

they’d never quite tried it like this before–not only because of the reverse cowgirl position, but also because irene was the one who started it. and wendy’s pussy was still filled with joy’s cum.

wendy’s breath hitched when she realized it. oh fuck. she felt irene’s dick fill her up, and it only turned her on more, knowing her walls were bathed in joy’s seed, knowing that if irene pulled out she’d be suspicious at the sudden gush of white fluids that would leak out of her if it happened.

shit. she had to take control.

the squelching sound as irene entered her wasn’t unusual, but irene could still get suspicious. fuck. fuck. this was so hot. but also, fuck. she had to make irene cum in her, she could let her pull out without cumming.

she turned to look over her shoulder, irene bathed in the darkness. it wasn’t like the older one would see if joy’s cum dripped out of her, especially with the lack of light, but better safe than sorry. and also because it was just straight up hot.

“unnie,” she whispered, placing a hand behind her to settle on irene’s navel and another one in front to play with irene’s sensitive balls. she could do this. wendy would laugh if it weren’t inappropriate. this was so much fun–and it was all possible thanks to joy and their affair.

“let me do the rest,” wendy said, and then she began to move, rocking back and forth on irene, slow and first before she quickened her pace, changing their rhythm, massaging irene’s balls all the while. neither of them held back their sounds of pleasure, irene’s long low groans and wendy’s loud cries, irene’s “oh, fuuuck, there, right there,” mixing with wendy’s “ah, ah, unnie!” all the while.

irene tugged on wendy’s shirt when she was close. “I-I’m gonna cum,” she grunted, pulling even harder and choking wendy while she was at it.

“don’t pull out,” wendy growled, head thrown back. “don’t fucking pull out, unnie, fuck, cum in me.”

irene came with a gasp, spurting long strings of white in her, and wendy came at the knowledge of both of their seeds mixing in her, making a delicious concoction of not only hers and joy’s fluids, but also irene’s now. it went on for long seconds, irene convulsing under her, bucking her hips with each spurt, and wendy only rocked in place, prolonging their pleasure as much as she could. when they came down from their highs, wendy figured she was right in not letting the older woman pull out, because when she did–

“I came a lot.”

wendy whined, knowing the reason irene thought so, but keeping it to herself. “I felt it.” she leaned forward and opened her legs, letting irene watch, with what little light she had, the scene of her cum dripping out of her girlfriend.

“unnie,” wendy whispered. “I want to feel it come out of my ass, too. please?”

she felt irene clean the dripping wetness on her thighs with a finger before the older woman, by the sounds of it, lubed up her cock with more of it. irene sat and kneeled up so her hips would be level with wendy’s rubbing her length along wendy’s crack the same way joy did earlier that day, and wendy whimpered, “please.”

“of course, baby,” irene said before inching her way past wendy’s puckered rim, the younger woman whimpering, knowing joy’s seed was waiting for irene in this hole too.

#gp!joy #gp!irene #cheating!wenjoy

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samanthasroberts · 7 years ago

Text

Southern Charm Recap: Can They Get Any More White?

I have emerged from my two-day hangover solely to write this weeks recap. Guess killing brain cells is one of my hobbies now.

When we left off I wasnt sure if I was Team Kathryn or Team Whitney, and I dont think thats ever going to get resolved tbh. However, I did just notice Kathryns facial expression in the opening sequence more or less sums up her entire personality.

Thomas and JD, back at it again with the polo. Cause that ended really well the last time. Can they get any more white?

Whitney has some fruit salad and is making coffee and Larissas like, If that’s cooking, I’m about to be the next winner of.

Whitney trying to explain what going steady means to Larissa is pretty hilarious tho.

Kathryn andKody? Corey? Fuck, I forgetare getting a seaweed facial or some shit, AKA Bravo is pampering them so they can talk shit in style. Nice.

Kathryn is bummed that once she has her baby she has to go home alone with her two children.

Kathryn: Im a 24-year-old soon-to-be mother of two. If you dont think Im overwhelmed and nervous then you dont think.

Wow that was like, unnecessarily aggressive Kath.

Cooper? Cooper! Calls Thomas a 50-year-old playboy and is like,

Cooper: Instead of letting it frustrating you I just say let it strengthen you.

Cooper is the moral compass this show needs.

Meanwhile Thomas is sipping bourbon with JD on his porch because Kathryn really needs him.

JD: Hows the baby? Thomas: The doctor said fine… JD looks skeptical, because Im sure he knows better than a trained doctor.

JD: Kathryn moving up the due date seems awfully peculiarseems suspect.

JD is a regular Hardy Boy over here.

JD: I think women dont like being asked for paternity tests.

NO FUCKING SHIT.

JD is like, and Thomas is like, Its clear hes forgotten who hes about to have a kid with because Kathryn is NOT going to be down with Thomas basically accusing her of slutting it up and then trying to trap him into fatherhood. JUST SAYING.

Its date night with Craig and Naomie. Craig chooses going to L.A. over the biggest event for his company, because hes never been to L.A. before. And Craig wonders why hes not allowed to head a bourbon division. I don’t foresee this ending well AT ALL. Craig, youre a fucking idiot and for once Naomie is in the right to tell you youre fucking up.

Craig: Do you see how hard Im trying to justify this?

Yeah, because you KNOW YOURE IN THE WRONG. Thats literally what justification is.

Cameran and Landon meet up for a candle-making class and I am kind of jealous because that low-key sounds fun. Landons explaining her travel guide to Cam, so Im going to take a quick nap.

Cameran: I think its hard for Landon bc she was a typical Southern stereotype of the woman who got married young and was taken care of and she doesnt have that anymore.

Wait, how is this the first Im hearing of this failed first marriage? How has this NEVER come up before this season??

Cameran: So any man prospects? Landon: IDK not really its kind of sad and pathetic.

Landon is like Same tho. Cameran: Do you think the reason youre not meeting anyone is because you want something to work out with Shep? Landon:…Yeah

Cameran and I are both like, FINALLY!

*Cue a montage of them looking really couple-y* I’m rooting for you guys!

Landon brings up every middle schoolers dilemma which is that if she dates Shep, then shell lose him as a friend. Can we get like, a violin quartet to score some melodramatic music or something?

Craig and Shep make it to L.A. and Whitneys bachelor pad is sick. I guess this is what that Bravo money gets you. On an unrelated note, I have a very compelling idea for a new reality show, if you wanna get on board Bravo, Ill get you in at the ground level.

Craig: I wouldve had FOMO if I hadnt gotten to come out heresothanks.

Whitney: Meh whatevs

Whitney: #NewCraig has taken on this persona thats like, not chill dude.

Whitney basically lets it go with the caveat that he may never fully trust Craig again. Eh, Im sure theyll be fine.

Shep: You know when youre perfectly drunk and youre really good at pool? Is that like when Im really drunk and I think Im really good at dancing?

Classic Shmosby.

Larissa crashes the boys weekend which is not at all chill. Larissa is, I guess, the WGG of the group.

Shep: Should I change? I dont want to look all fratty and Southern.

Well that ship sailed like, approximately 36 years ago. Whitney makes a joke about waking up in the morning covered in blood and vomit. Was he secretly with me and my friends this weekend? Unclear. V. possible.

These two slutty-looking blondes show up and Shep is in fucking heaven. Craig low-key wants to kill himself.

Whitney: The goofy, disarming thing works in Charleston but not so much in L.A.

I’m sorry, Whitney, but who you callin goofy? You’re not exactly a chiseled Greek god over there. Whitney takes a casual shot at Craigs bourbon knowledge, or lack thereof, and now that hes gotten that off his chest this friendship is back on track.

The aftermath of Whitneys party looks a lot like the scene I dealt with Sunday morning. So, like, maybe they really were there.

Whitney: The marker of a good boys weekend is a pool of vomit with a partially digested meatball in the middle.

Whitney talks about how Shep didnt get any last night and Whitney said he had a meeting with Hand Solo which made me LOL.

Sheps like, and Im getting soooo mf sick of this trope. I am convinced Shep just acts this way because y’all expect him to be a fuckboy and nobody challenges him or holds him to a higher standard. Also, there’s just no way his dick games that good. THERE IS NO WAY.

JD is on the phone with Paula and SURPRISE, Craig basically didnt do shit for this festival yet still wants to be head of the bourbon division. The entitlement is strong with this one. Craigs phone is dead, party casualty, so JD is calling around to all Craigs friends like the angry dad he is. Did I mention this was dumb af, Craig?

Also, LMAO at how hungover they all look. Their hangovers are giving me life.

Craig: I just feel like Im being used to do all the bitchwork and its annoying. I lied, THIS is the whitest thing to happen on this show.

Shep: People take work too seriously. What happened to just drinking beer and laughing your balls off?

Yeah Shep, I think this may be why your restaurant is struggling to pay the rent.

Thomas and Kathryn are discussing the ins and outs of labor, which I will file away for future knowledge. Thomas calls Kathryn an expert at giving birth which is like, kind of rude lol. But I guess also accurate?

Kathryns opening up to Thomas about being alone this time around, looking up at him with big doe eyes, and Thomas is like,SHUT DOWN.

Thomas: The timing is really bad for me, could you just like, not give birth rn?

Kathryn: Thats why I like having you around, youre like a calming presence IDK why.

Kathryn, do you know what calming means? Im starting to think not.

Back at Whitneys, some massage therapist named Megan shows up, and Shep clearly has a boner.

Shep: So youre gonna give us all massages now?

Megan: Its like holding space to really connect more with yourself.

Shep is blatantly sexually harassing this poor girl. JFC. This is so creepy. Tone it the fuck down.

JD & Co. is launching his bourbon line at Charleston Cup, this horse race in Charleston. Craig is nowhere to be found, shockingly.

JD: Work isnt all roses and cherries. Sometimes its dirt and trenches.

Im putting that on a needlepoint for my office.

Sheps not going because his grandpa died. OK thats actually like, very sad. My condolences.

We will now resume with our regularly scheduled program of shit-talking.

Craig is taking forever to get readyCraig and Chad from are both the secret Betches interns.

Craig is hungover with an upset stomach and a sinus infection, which is literally what happens to me every time I drink. AKA right now. We’ll get through this, Craig. Emergen-c and green tea all mf day.

Cams like,

Craig apparently slept in and didnt do anything to help JD set up. Which, Im not surprised by, but again, is a really bad move for when youre trying to show initiative.

Cameran: #NewCraig is starting to run its course because at this point hes becoming #OldCraig

Dannis dropping some random whiskey fun facts and Craig is like, Fuck the bourbon division, Im not sure Craig is qualified to have any job at Gentry HQ, PERIOD. How the fuck is he going to be a lawyer if he never wants to do work? He’s gonna have a rude awakening if he ever makes it to first-year associate (I have heard).

Craig is there for all of two minutes and is already like, fuck this Im leaving.

Oh JK Craig didnt actually leave. JD gives a speech and what do you wanna bet Craig is gonna get shafted in this thank-you speech?

Wait for it..

BOOM. SHAFTED. I called it.

Cameran is so into this race its scary. How much money did she put down on that horse? Judging by her reaction to losing, Id say a lot.

Once again JD is dressed like a 1920s fat cat. Live your truth, JD.

JDs like, and Craig is like,

JD: Do you think you should have gone out of town? Craig: I mean Ive never had to give up a trip for a job so

Oh boy, Craig. I fear for you in the real world. I really do.

At Kathryns, she and Thomas are eating dinner. Kathryns going into labor tomorrow morning. I hope they dont actually film her birth. That would be kind of fucked.

Thomas: I want to have a traditional family, hear the shnookums running around, hear the house fill with laughter.

Lol, “shnookums” only makes me think of one thing:

Thomas: I still love Kathryn, I care about her but Im afraid a day of reckoning is forthcoming.

UH OH.

Kathryn asks Thomas how he feels and he says hes apprehensive and shes like, BRUH, FEEL APPREHENSIVE?!

Kathryn: If I say anything mean to you tomorrow just give me a free pass.

OK thats fair, she is giving birth and all.

Kathryn gets up and eats some generic brand Lucky Charms before giving birth. I take it all back, she really is struggling with money.

OK low blow. Sorry. Kind of.

Seeing the sheer amount of diapers in Kathryns house is enough to make me never forget to take my birth control.

Thomas: For some reason, maybe through divine intervention we were brought together. Steven Spielberg I believe said, Ive made a lot of movies, but my greatest creation of all was a child.

So I wonder at what point Thomas is gonna be like Who am I kidding, theyre gonna drag that out at least over the course of another epsiode.

OK enough shit-talking from me. That baby is cute. What did they name him?? How they gonna leave us hanging like that?

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Source: http://allofbeer.com/southern-charm-recap-can-they-get-any-more-white/

from All of Beer https://allofbeer.wordpress.com/2018/03/16/southern-charm-recap-can-they-get-any-more-white/

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jimdsmith34 · 7 years ago