#of course i didn't do all these things in under 48 hours i don't know what you're saying

[redtsundere-writes]

Jinx | Sukuna Ryomen

mma fighter!sukuna ryomen x femalecoach!reader

Part 7. Help Me To Help You

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Spynosis: Sukuna is a world champion with anger issues. It's believed by many that he is untrainable. Yeah, you can't train him, but you can dominate him. Contents: Fighting. Sukuna being Sukuna. female reader being dom. Jinx AU (the BL, not the character from lol) Reader is a baddie. Warnings: MDNI. +18. Cursed words. I only read it once, lmao. Smut. Raw sex. Vaginal. Oral. Humiliation. Reader is dom. Sukuna is sub. Word count: 4149 words. A/N: We are finally in the middle of this story. Thanks for all the support and the comments! Hope you like this chapter.

Less than 48 hours left until fight night. This time, the championship night would take place in Tokyo. It was always good to fight at home so we didn’t have to worry about traveling nor having jet lag. Sukuna and Naoya had gone through the judges and referees for the official weigh-in at the official UFC facility. Luckily, Naoya threw me a couple of flirtatious winks and didn't say a word during the brief encounter. If Sukuna found out that I betted my position as his coach, he would kill me without hesitation.

The band of the treadmill was moving under my feet. I couldn’t give up. The outcome of this fight rested on my attitude against the circumstances. My arms swayed with every step I took. I had to secure Sukuna's luck no matter what. I was losing my breath due to fatigue. Sukuna won the last fight against Toji Fushiguro thanks to me. My feet were moving on their own. Should I fuck him again?

“Hey!” Sukuna shouted in my ear, waking me up from my thoughts.

My feet stopped dead in their tracks on the treadmill, causing me to lose my balance and stumble. The band pushed me off the platform, sending me rolling to the ground. My head was spinning, so I lay down to recover. It's a lousy idea to get up suddenly after a serious fall, that's how you pass out. I knew it from experience.

“What the fuck is wrong with you today? You're acting weird lately,” Sukuna asked me, annoyed.

“Shut up,” I mumbled with a frown.

“Are you worried about the fight tomorrow?” he asked, irritated.

“Of course I'm worried! If you don't win tomorrow, I'll have to go back to the Zen’in’s!”, I thought, but I couldn't tell him that. I had gotten myself into this mess on my own, I was willing to get out of it alone and teach that jerk Naoya Zen’in a lesson.

“A little, but it will be alright. I trust your good luck ritual will work, by the way, do you have someone to fuck already?” I asked, trying not to sound too obvious.

“Keep your fucking voice down!” Sukuna scolded me between whispers, kneeling down next to me to look me at the eye. “Only Yuuji should know, but he opened his mouth and now you and Gojo know,” he whispered, after making sure no one around us was paying attention.

“Megumi knows about it too.”

“That nosy little shit,” he grumbled before desperately doing a facepalm.

I didn't think he was embarrassed by his lucky ritual. Yes, it was unconventional, but I didn't know it was a big open secret. Usually male athletes are not embarrassed about fucking multiple women, they even flex about it by bringing a different woman to their matches. I thought Sukuna would be like them, I was surprised he wasn’t.

“Get up now, you look stupid,” he said as he offered his hand to help me.

“Good thing I caught you resting, Sukuna,” Nanami announced his presence as he approached us. “Hey, weren't you supposed to leave 10 minutes ago?” he asked me directly. I looked at my watch, it was 2:10 pm. I had to leave soon if I wanted to get to my appointment on time.

“That's right! Thanks for reminding me,” I thanked Nanami before rushing to the lockers to change.

“Where the hell do you think you’re going? Tomorrow is fight night!” Sukuna shouted angrily as he grabbed my arm to stop me from running away.

“It’s going to help you win! I promise!” I exclaimed to get him to let me go.

“Are you going to let her go just like that?” Sukuna asked Nanami as if he was my dad.

“She asked to leave early a month ago, she told me it was important. It's in her rights as an employee,” Nanami explained calmly.

I abruptly let go of Sukuna, and he grumbled in contempt. He knew Nanami was right. If he didn't let me leave, I could file a complaint against him with HR. I assured him he would thank me later, and he death glared at me. That was so him.

At the lockers, I took off my stinky clothes from sweat training. I opened my gym bag and took out the denim skirt I had packed. The last time I wore a mini skirt was on my first date with Naoya, a special occasion. “I can't believe I'm going to wear this again,” I thought as I saw how short it was, it barely covered my butt. I had to wear it, this would be a special day too.

2 hours later on a train ride, I arrived at my not so exciting destination. The Golden Pot, a Chinese restaurant on the outskirts of Kyoto, known for having the best wonton soup in town. I never thought I would return to this place. It brought back bittersweet memories of my relationship with Naoya, as I had the best dates of my life with him here. It was amazing how the person I once grew to love more than myself became my #1 enemy.

Naoya has a less troublesome luck ritual than Sukuna. Before every fight, he must eat a bowl of wonton soup to secure his stomach and his victory. He always did this in the evenings after the official weigh-in. When he travels out of the country, he usually eats it before taking the plane. Since he was fighting in Tokyo, I knew he would be at the restaurant. I zipped up my Team Black jacket and walked confidently into the place.

The aroma of ginger and garlic permeated my nose as soon as I walked through the doors. Like any Chinese restaurant, the place was decorated with red lanterns hanging from the ceiling and golden dragons of good fortune among the long tables. The sound of sizzling dishes and the animated murmur of customers enjoying authentic Chinese food crept into my ears as I searched for the stupid blond with my eyes.

I spotted him at the table where he always used to sit. A table in a booth with red cushions and an intimate atmosphere. He was alone and undercover as if he were a spy, wearing a leather jacket and sunglasses despite being indoors. I really didn't want to approach him, but I had to be brave. I had traveled all the way from Tokyo to confront him and put him out of his comfort zone, I couldn't afford to chicken out now.

“Is it good?” I greeted him reluctantly. Naoya looked up from his bowl and took off his glasses to make sure his mind wasn't playing tricks on him. Taking his time to run down my bare legs, getting used to the idea that I was standing before him.

“Well, well… What brings you all the way to Kyoto?” He asked me with a smile.

“Since you came to visit me at the gym and my house, I thought it would be nice to visit you at your favorite place,” I replied as I sat down across from him.

“You are so cute,” he commented before eating a wonton.

A waitress came to our table quickly to take my order. She tried giving me a menu, but I already knew what I was going to order.

“I'm not going to stay long, I'll just have a wonton soup to go and an iced tea for here,” I asked.

“Are you in a hurry?” Naoya asked me, disappointed, once the waitress left.

“A little, I have to go back to Tokyo early to continue training Sukuna,” I answered.

“Do you care about him?” He asked me seriously.

“Of course I do, it's my job.”

“No, I mean, do you really care about him?” He corrected the question.

I frowned in response. It was true that Sukuna was on my mind 80% of the day, but that's because he is my job. I have to make sure he eats well, does the exercises correctly and is in his best mental state before every fight. I have seen him progress in the last four months that I have been training him, and I was proud of my work, but where was he going with that kind of question? Naoya sighed when he didn't get an answer.

“Do you like him?” he asked, confident that he knew the answer already.

“No,” I answered coldly, before he made up weird ideas in his head.

I couldn't imagine jumping from one idiot to another. Sukuna could be an amazing athlete, an extremely attractive man and a good protector, but he was still a traitor, a rude champion and someone who uses women to his advantage. We had grown up together these past few months, but I was not to be confused, he was still Sukuna Ryomen.

“This brings back so many memories. This is where we had our first kiss. We were so young and immature,” Naoya sighed as he imagined the scene.

“We are still young and immature, especially you. You still cling to the past and want to pull me with you,” I mumbled.

“What's wrong with wanting to take back what's mine?” he wondered, annoyed that I had broken his illusion.

“That I am not your property nor Zen’in’s,” I answered.

“We'll see about that tomorrow,” Naoya selfassured.

The waitress arrived with my order carefully wrapped in a plastic bag and the tea in the typical yellowish plastic cup of this kind of restaurant. I smiled as I saw the full glass in front of me, “This is what I came for,” I thought as I took a sip.

“You're right, let’s not argue now,” I thought out loud as I got up from my seat, ready to leave. “We'll see about that tomorrow,” I said with a confident smile.

I poured the iced tea over Naoya's half-eaten wonton soup. His eyes widened at the reckless act I was pulling. I was ruining his good luck ritual before his eyes. I slammed the glass down on the table in front of him to grab his attention back.

“You better not back off,” I threatened him in a low voice so that he was the only one listening to me.

“I hope you too, cutie,” he glared at me, this time he had stopped smiling to restrain himself from hitting a woman in a public place.

I left the place with my food and sighed relieved that the conversation had not escalated any further. I checked the time. It was almost 6 pm, I had to get to the train station if I wanted to make it to the next part of my plan on time.

SUKUNA POV

A sharp pain invaded my neck as I moved my shoulder again. A grunt of pain escaped from my lips as I moved it in circles as Shoko recommended. The hot water from the shower helped dull the pain. I should be embarrassed. I couldn't let such a superficial injury stop me. I had to give my 110% in tomorrow's fight as always. My honor and my title were on the line again. I shouldn't be worried though, no one knows that my shoulder is injured, and I have Y/n, who has been teaching me all of Naoya's moves. My chances of winning were still pretty high.

I let the hot water run over my body some more. I didn't want to get out of the shower, but I had to get ready to greet the prostitute I had hired in advance for tonight's ritual. I wrapped myself in my shower robe and went on to dry my hair, so I would have it ready for tomorrow. I was in my best possible shape, but aesthetics are also important for sponsors.

The doorbell echoed through the penthouse, letting me know that someone was waiting at the door. I frowned at the time. It was barely 8 o'clock, the hooker was supposed to arrive at 9. "Who the fuck is it this late?", I asked myself annoyed. I walked over to the door to see who it was.

It was a rather pleasant surprise to see Y/n through the peephole. She was waiting patiently outside the door with a plastic bag in her hands. I was going to open the door, but I saw her take off the team black gym jacket. My cheeks flushed slightly at the sight of her in something other than workout clothes. She was wearing the shortest denim skirt I had ever seen in my life and a pink shirt that allowed me to see her cleavage thanks to the height difference. I had seen her wear things that revealed her stunning body, but this was the first time I had seen something that made her look like a girl and not like someone who can kick my ass.

She started to lose her patience. She rang the doorbell again, bringing me back to reality. I was a weak man if just looking at her made me blush. “Fuck,” I thought, annoyed with myself, before opening the door.

“What the fuck are you doing here?” I scolded her. “Who the fuck gave you my address?”

“What a nice way to greet your coach,” she joked, sarcastically. “Nanami gave me your address. I came all the way from Kyoto to bring you a good luck wonton soup,” she explained as she handed me the plastic bag.

As soon as she moved his jacket from one arm to the other, I noticed something about her outfit that I hadn't seen through the peephole before. It was a detail I shouldn't have minded in the least, but my eyes hyper-fixated on it anyway. The pink rim of her thong protruded above her skirt, gently draped over her hip. The fact that I even noticed it surprised me. I'd seen that on thousands of models at parties, why did it matter to me so much in Y/n? Had she done it on purpose? It was hard to tell, since I only know her in working hours. This was the first time we had met outside the work environment.

“Are you going to let me in?” she wondered.

“Did you really go all the way to Kyoto to bring me a measly wonton soup?” I asked as I inspected the contents. Y/n slapped my arm at the rejection of her gift.

“It's the best soup in the world!” she scolded me, offended. “Also, I went to ruin Naoya's lucky ritual,” she confessed, embarrassed.

“Are you fucking stupid!? That's why you left training early?!” I yelled in annoyance.

“Hey! You should be thankful that I'm taking every precaution to ensure my victory!” she finished off by raising her voice to reach my volume. She always has a stupid answer for everything.

“Your victory…” I tasted the phrase in my mouth. “Are you only doing this just for yourself?”

“My victory is that you remain as the champion,” she clarified.

“Well, you did what you had to do,” I told her, ready to close the door.

“You didn't answer the question I asked you earlier,” she reminded me, it was as if she didn't want the conversation to end.

“What are you talking about?” As soon as I blurted out the question, she blushed and avoided my gaze.

“Do you already have someone for your lucky ritual?” She asked, still avoiding my gaze.

“Yes, she's coming in an hour. You can go home now,” I said, tired of explaining myself to her. I tried to close the door, but she pulled her body into the penthouse to avoid it.

“Are you sure she will satisfy you?” She asked me, almost desperate.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?!” I yelled, opening the door again. “You've been so weird since we made the strategy! Is there something you want to tell me?”

“I just want to make sure that your ritual goes well…” she whispered in embarrassment. That sounded like a damn lie.

“Y/n!” I scolded her. She was startled by the scream and then sighed in surrender.

She told me all about her history with Naoya in a low voice. From how they met to how he continues to stalk her to this day. She told me how she came to his house out of nowhere and betted on her freedom to get rid of him once and for all. “Are you such a dumb bitch?! How could you even think of doing that!” are things I wanted to scream at her until her ears bled from her stupidity, but I couldn't do it seeing her so emotionally drained. No wonder she was so desperate, this was the only way she had to be able to get rid of him. What a mess she was in.

“Help me out, Sukuna.” Her eyes begged me for mercy, I couldn't say “no” to that.

“Come in, it better be as good as in Dubai,” I threatened her as soon as I let her in.

“I will do my best,” she promised.

Despite being shorter than me by a head and looking so tender in that outfit that left almost nothing to the imagination, this little shit pushed me against the bed with all her might. In my own house! She had already seen me naked and knew how I behaved during sex. So it was easy for her to undo the knot of my shower gown and unwrap me as if my hard cock was her birthday gift. She didn't hesitate to take it all the way into her mouth. Each suck and lick felt desperate. I knew she wanted to make me come, so she could secure tomorrow's victory, but sometimes the idea of her being really desperate to have my cock inside her for lustful pleasure tickled my brain.

“You really want to impress me, don't you?” I asked her as I took off my robe completely.

I pushed her towards my crotch, hugging her by the shoulders with my leg to show her how flexible I had become since she had taught me floor techniques. The splashes coming from her wet lips, her eyes watering from having my monstrosity in her little mouth and her hands holding my thighs to keep her balance were a sublime image. I could come just seeing her in that state.

I pulled her to me with one tug to do what I had wanted to do to her since I saw her through the peephole. I ripped off her thin pink shirt to reveal the pink lace bra that matched her thong. “She came prepared,” I thought with a satisfied smile. I usually like to remove the bra because it gets in the way, but I decided to leave this one on because it was cute. The little flowers looked so pretty over her beautiful breasts. I yanked down her skirt and reached into her slutty cave. She clung to my body as she moaned my name as praise. My fingertips rubbed her sensitive clit as they bathed in the natural lube. Y/n struggled against her own body to maintain her composure.

She took possession of my body as soon as she climbed into my lap. I thought the fun was finally going to begin, but she decided to keep playing with my senses. She took possession of my cock to rub the tip against her clit in slow circles. I bit my lower lip to keep from moaning like a bitch in heat.

“Don't be shy, I want to hear you,” she asked before gently twisting my nipple.

My eyes popped open as I felt her fingers against my sensitive spots. I think it's the first time I've ever been touched like that. She smiled as she realized the same thing I did. She approached me slowly to kiss my nipples gently. We had only slept together once, and she already knew my body better than I did. Oh Naoya, he really fumbled the bag. Poor bastard. She flicked her tongue and gently sucked on my erect nipples from the cold of the night. I closed my eyes to enjoy the tickling that ran mercilessly through my body as I moaned for her.

“How cute. Your cheeks match your hair and my underwear,” she whispered in my ear as she saw the blush that covered my face.

She shoved my cock in her all at once, bringing back memories of Dubai. This time, my back was no longer suffering from being pushed against a small wooden table. She rode my cock like a pro, making sure the tip had the biggest impact point. Her breasts bounced in my face, her moans were music to my ears and her hips were moving to the beat of a forbidden song. I wrapped my arms around her waist to hold her close to me and made sure my cock went all the way into her cervix.

She kissed me passionately without ceasing to impact her hips against me. It was wild, rushed, and powerful. She pressed my body against hers like a snake mercilessly choking its prey. I had no intention of fighting her, I could die in between her thighs and I would be so fucking happy.

I wasn't going to last any longer if we kept going like this. My mind kept repeating the national anthem to last longer in heaven, but it wasn't working. Y/n knew what she was doing, and she was doing a great fucking job. My cock was high and wet in her pussy, I wanted more, I needed more of her. My hips were moving on automatic to penetrate her fully. Her tits bouncing in my face was the best sight I have ever witnessed in my life. Y/n felt so tight and delicious, I was about to explode. Before I could help it, I came in her. My cock was slowly pumping her full.

“Are you done?” She smirked.

“Shut up,” I sighed tiredly. She pulled away from me to go to the bathroom to clean herself. I grabbed her arm and pulled her back to the bed. “I'm not done with you yet.”

”Huh?” She asked, confused.

“I may be satisfied, but you're not,” I told her before spreading her legs apart.

I wasn't used to eating pussy from hookers, they just made me cum and left, but seeing my coach's face all flushed and surprised made my night. She really didn't expect me to go deep into her body to finish what I had started. I dipped my head into her crotch to part her lips with my tongue. She stifled a moan and closed her legs at the tickle that ran down her back. Her thighs pressed against my face, drowning me in her delicious pussy. Y/n arched her back to bring her clit closer to my nose and thrust my tongue deeper inside her.

It was sour and sweet at the same time. I didn’t like the taste much, but I was a fan of the texture. I looked like a fucking junkie once I got used to the slimy sensation on my tongue. She pulled me by the hair to suck on her clit. I opened my mouth wide to eat the food God blessed me tonight. Y/n looked like a hot mess and I loved it. She moaned, writhed and called my name with lust.

“Just like that!” she moaned as she pushed my face, a sign that I was doing a good job.

I kept doing exactly what she asked until she squirted on my face. I jerked away confused as to what had happened. I wiped my face to see Y/n lying there like a happy starfish, arms, and legs spread across the bed tired.

“Good job,” She moaned in satisfaction with her eyes closed.

I was going to answer, but the doorbell grabbed my attention. It must be the prostitute. I wrapped my robe around me again and grabbed my wallet from the nightstand. I didn't want to waste time with her, I wanted to go to sleep soon so I could be well rested for the fight. I opened the door to find a blonde girl who reminded me of a bitch I know.

“Hi, handsome. It's nice to meet you, I always see you on the sports channel and…”

“Look, thanks for coming, but let's cancel. Someone already emptied my balls. Take 100 dollars and leave,” I said, throwing the bill at her and slamming the door in her face.

I went back to the room only to find y/n completely asleep under the covers. She looked exhausted, I shouldn't wake her up. I sat next to her on the bed and sighed tiredly. My horniness was decreasing, and I questioned whether I should let her sleep or ask her to go home. I looked at her again. She looked very comfortable and content tucked into me in the wet covers from our fluids.

“Looks like I'll be sleeping in the guest room,” I thought out loud.

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[veliara]

Prelude to the darkest night

A note: While waiting for invitation for ao3, I drafted a snippet of the second half of Part Two. By the way, is it normal that by the end of the second part of the story, I still haven't come up with a title? O_o Well, I have 48 hours to come up with one!

++++++++++

His voice boomed through the hall like thunder.

‘Just as his Eminence said, you came to us on your own. Well, that's even better. I won't have to run after you.’ Ciel looked at Grinnaux in puzzlement. ‘What are you talking about? We've seen each other this morning. I told you I'd stop by this afternoon.’ ‘There's something wrong with him. Why is he so irritated? He hasn't spoken to me like that in ages.  And where's Paul?’ The lancer wasn't around, which was odd. They were always put on duty together. Continuing to frown, Ciel walked slowly towards the warrior. He looked into the familiar lilac eyes and tried to see the emotions within. Only to see nothing in them, but apathy. ‘‘Grinnaux, what's wrong?’ now the young man began to worry. ‘’Did something happen?‘’  The mans face twisted in a grimace of disdain. ‘Stop talkin’ my ears off, boy,' growled the warrior. ‘His Eminence warned us you'd try to mess with our heads.’’ Ciel could not believe his ears. ‘A boy? Fool us? What does that have to do with the old man? What's going on?’ The words of his acquaintances, that knights are only loyal to Thordan, came to mind. That their friendship and kindness to him, a petty half-breed, was due to the Archbishop's orders. That they were no friends to Ciel. Nearly a year and a half had been a lie? A fabrication?  ‘ So it turns out there is no ‘us’ either?’ Ciel looked towards Dzemael, but saw nothing.

A kaleidoscope of memories flashed before Ciel's eyes. ‘No way.... ’

‘No...He wouldn't betray me like that. It's all wrong.’

‘EVERYTHING IS WRONG!’

The last thing Ciel saw as the Stampede blade came down was Grinnaux's completely blank eyes. ‘Wake up!’ a voice of her loyal shadow rang before the blade of the axe reached its target.

Waking abruptly, Ciel realised that she could only move her eyes. Her body wouldn't listen. She felt paralysed and couldn't even begin to panic because her heart was beating evenly as not her own. The rising terror was stopped by the familiar voice of her shadow. ‘I apologise Master, I had no other choice, but to temporarily take control of your body.’ came a soft, soothing voice somewhere in the back of her mind. ‘Such  experience could be harmful to you.’ ‘Thank you, Night’ was all she could think of to reply. ‘It is my pleasure to watch over you, Master. May I ask, do you often have dreams like this?’ she felt a soothing presence in her mind. Like a fluffy cat, purring loudly, was rubbing against her legs. The inner darkness, spreading its large wings, embraced her and soothed her. ‘Thankfully not too often.  This is the fourth time in almost a year and a half. Unfortunately they have a way of becoming reality.’ The sensations of her own body slowly began to return to her. The first thing she felt was his warm breath on her left ear. Ciel gently turned her head to him. Grinnaux was asleep on his side as always, placing his warm hand on her shoulder as if to hold her in place. A relaxed smile completed the sleepy look. ‘Amazing, he usually has such a light sleeper.’ ‘Don't be surprised, he didn't even realise you'd started having a nightmare.’ ‘Thanks, I don't know how I'd explain all that madness to him.’ ‘Maybe it's not a delusion, but a warning.’ ‘Perhaps. Can I ask you to watch him for a few days?  Especially when Thordan will be interacting with them. In this dream he said Thordan "warned" them. Which means the old man is involved. Though I'm not getting what he has to do with it. He's only been helping me all this time’ ‘Of course. I'll let you know if I notice anything suspicious.’ Carefully getting out from under his heavy arm, Ciel sat on the bed and hugged her knees. She looked at the man she loved, sleeping quietly beside her and tried to anticipate the future.  She bit her lips to keep herself from sobbing.

‘What in heaven's name is going to happen to you?? Why were your eyes so lifeless when you killed me?’

[literaticat]

Sometimes it takes awhile to hear back from my agent when I ask her a question. I don't want to be annoying, and I know she's super busy. What do you think is a good amount of time to let pass before I follow up?

There's just... there's so many emails you guys. *cries under avalanche of emails*

I can only speak for myself of course. I do TRY to be fast -- HOWEVER, sometimes I just don't have an answer and have to do research or take the question to a meeting, or whatever-it-is you are asking for requires me to do various tasks, which might take longer -- or sometimes I just don't see the email at all. If I know it will take a longer time to get the answer, I'll try to at least acknowledge receipt and say "it's in the queue, I expect it will take me [however long]" OR SOMETHING.

Sometimes this in reality means I write it down in my to-do list with a bunch of stars like RESPOND TO THEM and then ten things happen and I don't, and then fml two weeks have passed. OR, let's say your note came in while I was out of office and 90000 things buried it -- if I didn't see it and acknowledge receipt, there's a possibility I'm not GONNA see it unless you ping me again so I can search for it. I miss things sometimes!

So all of that said, I definitely don't mind getting nudged, maybe if you don't hear anything at all in a week? But if something is more urgent, maybe 48 hours? Or if something is truly not urgent at all, maybe 2 weeks just to make sure it didn't get lost altogether?

ALL THAT BEING SAID: I don't think it would be weird or out of line to just ask your agent their preference.

[cazort]

Ugh. Awful day. Six months ago my wife and I bought a washing machine and chose to buy a Speed Queen, which was much more expensive than most other brands, because it had a top-notch reputation and long warranty and we just didn't want to have to deal with breakdowns. This was a tough choice that we did not make lightly. Buying a house was a huge financial burden and my finances are now tighter than they've been in years, and the amount of money at stake matters. We were hoping to buy stability and leave us with one fewer thing to worry about during a stressful life transition.

Well a few days ago, it broke after 6 months, which is irritating enough, but the company has been hellish to deal with. They keep over-promising and under-delivering. Tuesday they said a local service company would reach out to schedule an appointment within 48 hours. Over 72 hours went by with no call. I called again today and the system said the wait time was 1 hour 6 minutes. This is literally the longest wait time I have ever had from any company. I put my number in the queue and they called me back...1 hour 50 minutes later.

The rep was barely helpful. She did not seem to understand the gravity or magnitude of the situation and spoke as if what happened to me was business-as-usual, rather than a rare, once-in-a-blue moon occurence that the company wanted to bend over backwards to fix. She tried calling the contractor and couldn't reach them. She did switch the ticket to a different contractor, who called me back later that afternoon, so now I have an appointment set up for next Thursday.

But I'm upset. I'm upset that I paid over twice the price for what I thought would be a premium product unlikely to break, and with a commitment to outstanding service, and instead I got a company that provides the longest hold times I have ever seen in my life, repeatedly makes promises it fails to deliver on, and reps that have no authority to escalate the issue or do anything to right the situation.

And I still don't know what is going to happen on Thursday. Will the contractor show up? Will they be able to fix it then and there, or will I have to wait days or weeks for a replacement part? Am I going to need to drag our laundry to the laundromat and incur additional costs doing so?

I have already filed a BBB complaint. I would like a partial rebate of the price I paid, because the value I have received is not worth what I paid for. I also am talking about my experience online.

Speed Queen has a top-tier reputation. They are a brand mainly used by laundromats, supposedly made to handle a heavy volume of use and last for many years. But the way they have treated me as a customer makes me feel like I've been cheated and would have done better buying a cheaper brand available at any box store.

I'm a reasonable person. I don't expect top-tier service if I buy a cheap, low-end product. I can even forgive mediocre service. But paying premium prices and then getting unspeakably bad service is just unconscionable to me.

If they had told me it might take a week to get contacted, I would be annoyed but it wouldn't be as bad as saying I would expect a call in a certain time frame and then have that call not come. And I might feel better if they did what most companies do, which is to at least apologize profusely and tell me they are really concerned with what is going on and escalate the situation. Like earlier this week I called my bank about something they messed up and the woman was like "Yeah you are right, the interface is actually really bad. I get why you are upset. We really need to improve that."

Like sometimes that's literally all it takes. Someone saying "Wow, we really messed up. I'm really sorry that sucks so much."

But no I didn't even get that.

And of course if this happens to me I'm gonna talk about it everywhere. So right now I am warning people about Speed Queen. They may have an amazing reputation but my experience with them so far has been awful.

[aajjks]

TPOL!JK

"o-okay" you nod in jungkook's chest and allow him to help you up and down the stairs to eat something with him. "i can cook something. how does bulgogi sound?" asks ji-ae and you nod your head before going to yerin to pull her in for a hug. "i love you so much" you whisper and yerin whispers it back to you. "you're burning up" says lola who hands you a bottle of water to drink while ji-ae fishes out the meat from your fridge and other necessities for the bulgogi meal.

while jungkook heads into the kitchen to help his mother cook, yerin is busy trying to make you laugh and smile. the two of you reminisce on the days your mother would fuss at the two of you for tracking dirt in the house after playing outside all day. "or how about the time she laughed at me when i fell down the stairs? neither one of you bothered to ask if i was okay. all you and your mom did was laugh"

now you're laughing.

"it was funny though but it's okay because my mom laughed at me when i cut my hair too short and tricked me into thinking she couldn't fix it"

you both laugh at the funny memories you and yerin shared with your mother. you always loved how she wasn't such a serious mom until it was time to get serious. since you were her only child, she was overprotective but it didn't overshadow the life she wanted you to experience. a bit overprotective but never overbearing and you loved that about her.

you love her and in such a short period, you already miss her.

once the bulgogi was ready, everyone sat at the table and began eating while conversing with one another about other happier topics to distract you from the sad news at hand. although you laugh now and then, you still haven't touched your food, and jungkook notices. under the table, he reaches for your hand and squeezes it to encourage you to eat your food. you squeeze his hand back and, soon you begin eating some of your food. since its been over 48 hours since you've eaten, within the first bite you're tearing the bulgogi apart. you even get seconds. everyone laughs at your bashful demeanor when you come back with more but ji-ae brushes it off and the somber atmosphere is lifted.

by the end of the night, lola returns home, ji-ae heads to the hotel jungkook booked for the both of them, and yerin offers to stay with you but you assure her that you'll be okay.

"j-jungkook?" you call for him. "can you stay with me for the night? do you..do you mind? you don't have to if you don't want to"

He is helping his mother with her coat when you call out his name, he immediately turns back to you, and his mother, tells him that she’ll manage without him and he should go and listen to you so he does and when you ask him to stay with you, he is really surprised.

“R-Really? would that be OK with you because we didn’t really end on a good note and I said some things to really hurt you…. Yn… of course I’ll stay with you if that is OK with you.” He is standing right in front of you and he’s got a soft look in his eyes.

You definitely need someone and he is glad to be that someone. “I’ll stay as long as you need me to.” he whispers. When you give him the assurance that you really want him to stay, he goes to his mother and he tells her that he’s going to be staying with you at least for the night.

And he can tell that his mother is really happy with the information, she gives him a knowing look, and he just sighs. Once you and him bid yerin and ji-ae farewell, Jungkook tells you to sit down on the dining table, while he takes care of the dishes.

“So yn tell me what have you been doing for the last four years and anything really… I mean I would tell you about my life, but it has been the same… you know I hate change… but I’ve been living with my mother, so it’s been a little nicer… we have been making up for the lost years..” he laughs and then he realizes that he mentioned his mother and he might’ve triggered you, because you just lost yours, and he slaps himself on the forehead.

“Ahhh I’m sorry I didn’t mean to trigger you… yknow what? Just go get some rest I will take care of this and then I’m gonna be in the guestroom.” He tilts his head from the kitchen sink to look at you

“and don’t be scared. OK I am here. I’ll always be here for you.”

[mitigatingacademics]

{10.30.2024}

I baked Black Velvet Cupcakes as my Halloween Crew Offering and, despite the fact that we're less than 48 hours from November, had to run my air conditioning on my trip down to the station to deliver them. #HappyHalloween #GlobalWarmingIsReal

I’ve had a productive first week back from vacation. I even picked up an overtime shift Tuesday night.

I had been studying for the LSAT and working on essays/applications for so long that, having less than a week after completing everything before being accepted into my first choice law school (I'm not complaining!) kind of left me floundering with a general 'what do I need to be doing next?!' kind of feeling. 

There are a variety of '0L'/pre-law school courses out there that claim to prepare you for the main event and I decided to see if I could find anything I thought I might benefit from. 

Kaplan has a free module. Of course, Kaplan is horrible even when you pay for it (I say this from experience re: GRE prep), so I wasn't expecting much. …it's really bad. Like, even for free. I tried, but I was gaining nothing but frustration and my time is more valuable than that. 

Harvard has a whole thing. You have to apply, but it looks like they accept just about all prospective law students. It's $200. Hell, taking the LSAT costs more than that. I set that aside to potentially come back to later. 

I've seen folks talk a lot about Barbri's free resources. I've looked on multiple occasions and haven't found much worth spending time on. I *did* save a list of suggested TedTalks to watch. Their 'Law Preview' class is $900. ...I'm sorry (actually, I'm not) but what could you possibly have to tell me in order to prepare me for law school that is worth the equivalent of a whole law school credit…that I can’t find elsewhere, probably for free? Ridiculous.

Then I remembered I still have an active LawHub subscription because LSAC makes you purchase it to take the LSAT. They have a few courses, and, if anyone should know what will be useful, it ought to be those folks, right? 

I completed 'Law School Unmasked.' It was decent. Nothing Earth shattering, but I'm glad I to have gone through it. Then I started 'Law School JumpStart.' I'm about a quarter of the way though, so far there’s been a solid introduction to the concept of Torts and multiple opportunities for case briefing experience. Good stuff. 'Legal Analysis Bootcamp' is another offered course. That one boasts a mock exam. So far, I’m as pleased with these resources as I expected to be with anything.

On the Con Law side project front, I completed Issue 6, discussing whether or not Congress should have broad Constitutional power to regulate the states under the Interstate Commerce Clause. 

This was the first of the issues presented in this book for which I didn't find myself, at least initially, favoring one side or the other. 

Ultimately, my conclusion was that the dichotomy approach wasn't an effective means of addressing the issue as 'Yes/No' isn't a useful response when *clearly* the only workable answer will be a matter of degree. The question, then, is one of scale, not affirmation or denial, and requires set parameters for determining what qualifies as 'broad power.'

Wickard v. Filburn (1942), is one of my favorite SCOTUS cases. I even made room in the love letter to Liz Cheney that became my law school personal statement to comment on the constitutionality of WWII era agricultural protocols. It's taken on that level of significance in my life. It's the first case that I can honestly say, even though I don't like the vast majority of the implications, I think the Court got it right and I don't see how it could have feasibly been determined otherwise.

United States v. Lopez (1995) is frustrating for me, personally, in that, as a person that would, generally, be supportive of the federal government acting to ban firearms in school zones, when you attempt to justify said ban in a ridiculous way, as here, you make us all look bad. It's clearly not commerce. ...and the state government was actually addressing the issue just fine itself before the feds took over. Again, in my opinion, the Court came to the correct conclusion. A few of its members really showed themselves in the dissent and the majority did not miss the opportunity to elaborate on the implications - this was, probably, the most valuable thing to come from these deliberations. That we have to take this case seriously at all, let alone consider it as potentially demonstrably representative of a rationally considered trend is just... 🙄

Anyway, never get me started on Wickard v. Filburn...

I took Robespierre all the way to Tennessee and back, but I never opened the book.

I fixed that this week by making my way through two chapters.

It's probably some level of civic blasphemy to admit this, but I’m enjoying this book a lot more than I did the one on Washington – and that was a *good* book…I just don’t seem to like Washington much? 😬

[cottonfluffswirl]

Partial WonkAwards transcript under the cut (01:18:25-01:27:05)

Wilford: To finish things off, I want to present something of my own. FELICIA! ELAINE!

Elaine: Oh, god!

Felicia: Oh god. Oh god. They didn't tell us he was gonna do this.

Wilford: FELICIA! ELAINE! Hello, get the spotlight on them! Get it on them!

Elaine: Oh, hi! Hiiiii. Hii.

Wilford: The Multiversal Wonka Squad said we should give something back to our meanie PR team because of all the work they've done. I, of course, leapt at the opportunity. I thought it would only be right to give something back to my creators, and once again, I LIVE for the attention. You know, if it wasn't for you, I never would have gotten to fulfill my dream. So, as a token of my, and the rest of the Wonkas', gratitude, I present to you: this. That's right! I'm giving you Crispy the Talking Bass!

Felicia: Oh my god.

Elaine: Oh!

Wilford: Crispy has been a great guidance for me ever since I found him in the dumpster behind the Tuesday Morning, and I feel you all might benefit from his words of wisdom. And before anyone asks: NO, this is NOT because he embarrassed me at my most recent interview with Wolf Blitzer about the re-release of my puffleberry spice, and it is NOT because of all the accusations of me recording phrases into him! I just don't need the advice anymore! That's it! And I'm also a very philanthropic and benevolent candy factory owner who gives to the emotionally needy, so Crispy now belongs to the bitter bitches who brought us all here tonight. Give them a round of applause!

Felicia: I feel loved but also insulted.

Elaine: Yeah. Like, this does feel like a big honor, but I also feel like we were just given trash.

Wilford: Well, I want to give a big thanks to all the Wonka peeps who came out today. Special shout out to the Wonka Scholars. I've always said I'm a genius worthy of study, and I'm glad somebody finally put in the effort! To close out the night, it feels only right to finish with the phrase we know and love. Despite all of us gathered here today, despite my album being in stores soon, and despite me getting to close out the fucking show(!!), it's still not that important. Timothée Chalamet and Hugh Grant are going to forget about this whole experience in 24 to 48 hours, like this is not even going to make a dent on them. It's not that important, but I appreciate all of you being here and watching me. Adieu!!

*Closing music, applause, chatter*

Felicia: Wow. Y'know, I can tell he did try to do something emotionally vulnerable there at the ending; I mean he did kinda stamp on it a lot but there was an effort made!

Elaine: Yeah. There's hope for him.

Felicia: And I appreciate that.

Elaine: There's hope.

Felicia: There's hope there.

Elaine: Yeah, well, um. . . I guess. . . we have this fish now. Umm. Are we s-

Felicia: Yeah.

Elaine: Narrator, are we closing this out, or are we just- Was that supposed to be us done? Do we get to stand up now? The rat ushers are very confused.

Narrator: Uh, yeah. Yeah, it's over. No worries.

Felicia: Okay, awesome thank you. Can you maybe like close the curtains-

Elaine: Yeah, yeah.

Felicia: -so that people can tell? Rats? Rats, we're done. Get 'em to the front. Thank you guys, yes. Awesome. *sighs*

Elaine: *sighs* Ohhh mygod.

Felicia: *sighs* Well

Elaine: Is it. . .time for us to. . . Are we done? But like are we. . . done? Like the studio apartment's packed up. Do you think it's time for us to. . . go up? As they say?

Felicia: I think it is. Let's ac- I- I do want to get changed into more comfortable clothes, though, first.

Elaine: Y- oh.

Felicia: Let's go back to the studio apartment, take a shower.

Elaine: God, I wore too many sequins. Yeah, okay.

Felicia: Maybe- You know what? It's late. Tomorrow. Tomorrow, we'll go.

Elaine: Yeah. Let's get a pizza; let's cry ourselves to sleep. It'll be great.

Felicia: Enjoy the night out and have our celebration, and then we'll leave-

Elaine: I love that.

Felicia: -and escape The Well.

Elaine: Okay.

*Ethereal music ("The Well" from Elaine's Wonka Watch EP)*

Narrator: And so, Felicia and Elaine stole away back into their studio apartment, spending their final evening in The Well, watching Party Monster, that weird movie Felicia brings up all the time. They ate pizza, had a wonderful time, and slept soundly as the rats cleaned up and finished packing up their studio. We now come to them, awoken and ready for the next part of their adventure. Elaine and Felicia, hand in hand, walked down that final tunnel, and as they looked up, the covering of The Well finally removed, the piercing sunlight right into their eyes - they look uncomfortable, there's a little bit of tears but it's fine - and as they look at each other, they take one glance back at The Well and they say:

*Music fades, wind rushes*

Felicia: Goodbye, Well!

Elaine, simultaneously: Bye, Well!

The Well (?): Goodbye. . .

*Music swells again*

Narrator: As they ascend the ladder, step by step, they feel the warm air, clean and not infested with mold, and as they come out of that well, they're in this beautiful meadow, and there it is: the convertible.

Felicia: Oh my god, I can't believe the convertible is still here; I really thought someone would've stolen it by now-

Elaine: Yeah, damn!

Felicia: -so this is good luck!

Elaine: It looks pretty okay, too!

Narrator: They loaded all of their belongings-

*Suitcase rattle as it's placed in the car*

Narrator: -one suitcase- into the trunk of the convertible-

*Trunk slams, doors close*

Narrator: -and as they stepped into the convertible - it smelled a little bit, but that was fine - they turned on the car-

*Car starts*

Narrator: -and they set out onto the grass and then onto the road.

Felicia: Oh my god, it's so nice to be finally free. I can feel the wind through my hair.

Elaine: I know, this is so wild. I haven't- we haven't been up here in ages! I can't wait to see, uh, you know, the same old town we used to know in this area-

Felicia: Yeah.

Elaine: -just to get some gas or whatever. Um, do you have a GPS we can set up to get there?

Felicia: Um, my phone died. So, um.

Elaine: Oh.

Felicia and Elaine: That's not great.

Felicia: Is your phone. . .?

Elaine: Mmm, no, my phone's cracked, it's actually been dead for a very long time.

Felicia: Okay, yeah, that's why- I think that's why it got so bad in The Well because we couldn't really talk to anybody else.

Elaine: That explains- yeah.

Felicia: Umm, alright, so I think maybe we just feel it by vibe? Maybe we can do that and we'll make it there?

Elaine: Yeah, that sounds very safe and totally. . .good.

Crispy, from the trunk: Hey! Hey!

Felicia: Is that in a box?

Elaine: Did you- what the fuck?

Felicia: Did we pack up one of the rats?

Crispy: *more noise*

Elaine: Okay, let's-

Felicia: I'll go- I'll go do that. Let me go fix that.

Elaine: Okay, yeah, thanks.

Felicia: Maybe you should pull over, maybe I shouldn't do this while we're driving.

Elaine: Oh, yeah, yeah, 'cause you're the one driving. Why wouldn't I offer- 'Cause I'm- I'm me. Okay.

*Driving stops. Doors open and close. Footsteps on gravel. Trunk opens. Rustling*

Felicia: I think it's in this box.

Crispy: Hey! Hey! Oh-

Felicia: Hey, Crispy!

Crispy: -hey, ladies! Wow, it's so great to be here. My new moms, uh, I'm-

Felicia: Oh. . .

Crispy: -I'm kidding, ah hahaha, I'm kidding. Um, so I know Wilford and I may not have gotten along but ah, you know, like he said, I do help predict the future, and maybe I can help you navigate your way out of here to a nice, safe place that's totally normal with a gas station and some snacks or something. Would you like that?

Felicia: Um *whispers* I don't know if I want to trust it, Elaine. I don't know, I think-

Crispy: I'm about to sing Jimmy Buffett unless you let me do it!

Felicia: Yeah! Yeah that's fine! Yeah it's fine! We- We'll do that Crispy, that sounds awesome, Crispy!

Elaine: Yeah, please! Please!

*Trunk closes, footsteps on gravel*

Crispy: Oh, perfect! Okay, here, just set me up on the dashboard- ooh! I haven't moved my fins like this in so long! Okay! Take a left!

*Car doors close, car starts*

Crispy: Take a left!

Felicia: There's a lot of roads really close together; this is insane.

Crispy: Take a left!

Elaine: How- I didn't know this road was spiraling down; this is really weird.

Crispy: Okay, we're gonna cross this bridge. Okay, now go down the ramp, there you go. . .

Narrator: And so, Crispy the Bass took them on a wild ride, over 2,000 miles of road as they continued to drive into the unknown. . . until. . . they finally saw something on the horizon. . .

Felicia: Oh my god, is that finally something? You know we drove through so much desert, I'd hope by now we could just find a bathroom.

Elaine: Yeah. And corn.

Felicia: Yeah, corn and desert. Lots of corn and desert.

Elaine: Yeah, this convertible gets great gas mileage though, I mean that's one bonus we learned here.

Crispy: Oh, yeah, this is- Yeah- You're- A totally safe town! Don't worry about it! Uh, yeah, roll down the windows and let's just cruise in! Ha! Yeah!

Felicia: We are in a convertible, Crispy, what is the windows gonna do?

Crispy: Oh, I don't- I can only see in one direction, I-

Felicia: I'm sorry Crispy, I'm sorry, I know that's a sore spot for you, I'm sorry!

Crispy: It's really sad!

*Now Entering Clatfartburg theme music starts*

Felicia: Oh my god, what is this place? Is our radio fucking malfunctioning?!?

Elaine: Wait this is- Oh my god! Where are we- wait, Crispy, is that you on that giant billboard?! What does that say?

Felicia: It says "Now Entering Clatfartburg. . ."

Elaine: ". . .The Most Place On Earth."

Crispy: Ya damn right it is!

Felicia: What the fuck?!

Elaine: What the hell, why can we never be free?

*Clatfartburg theme music continues*

[darlingpwease]

:(( /t I will bite you like how a child tries to bite into a jawbreaker for the first time. /feel threatened /ht Yes and as I said I'll do so once school's out~ and this weekend too lmao (shh I can still grow a bit I think,, hopefully,,,,) I wouldn't be surprised if you do, at least these past few weeks. But that's good!! You should be sleeping well. And that's probably true, but the first few days I'll be sleeping as much as I can <33

I think I might need to wear armor around you specifically due to ur teeth.. /hsrs /t Σ(°ロ°) ....Rest more and if it's still the same we should get your brain scanned.. /j 🧍 uhhh–

HAHAAAA that picture is amazing ★★★★☆ 4/5 stars, beautiful, fabulous!! /t /pos

Ah, yer an American?? A good ol' 'merican!!! 🦅🇺🇸 I salute you! 🫡🫡 shh I do take care of myself lol, I don't need you crashing into my head– I can TRY!! I'm going to the COUCH /j

...omw to chomp some rotten crumbs ヽ(*^∇^*)ﾉ /j ????? We do!! We are definitely closer than before, at least. There's so many other memories to have that isn't this <33

But I really am serious about this!! /gen NOOOO it was an accident, nobody was supposed to see it <<//3333

Oh, I didn't think it'd get this far- Uhhhhh I don't know– free biting range??? Except for the neck /I'm not too sure /you can throw out some ideas too /what would u like out of this??

-panna cotta

sorry for the wait, babyboo, I was asleep. allowed myself something that you don't even dare to dream about, you know? /t

wha, no, wait— I mean— what are you going to bite me with? with your baby teeth??? hmf, too cocky, considering how tiny and weak you are due to lack of sleep — can you at least chew milk porridge before taking on someone like me, huh? /t /j when school stops, you will do anything except a long, sound, good sleep,,, sly thing</3333 (you can't. everyone knows that people with as much sleep deprivation as you no longer grow; on the contrary, every hour of lack of sleep reduces their growth by a millimeter. it's. it's a medical fact, you know???) of course. first you sleep for 48 hours, then you don't sleep at all, because you have a lot of movies and games and "well, I don't have to go back to school tomorrow"; such a predictable panna cotta🙄😒 /t /hj

I mean, you can just undress... we can think of something... after all, all the people under the armor are naked anyway, and the fact that it will take me an hour or not won't change that... /t; >;333 after all, you can't parry my words, can you~ /ht /hj ...I want to bite you — as part of the treatment, — so you're going to let me do this like a sick person, aren't you~ (*ᴗ͈ˬᴗ͈)♡ 'uhhh' what big cocotta?<3 /t

you forgot the fifth star, my sugar! make sure it's there next time<333

*'merican, *ya!!! such disrespect for our roots, for our past!!! !!!!! !!!!! why don't you react, why don't you pull me out of the closet??? are you suggesting I ambush you the next time you come up??? 3:<<< /t for example? you sleep for more than eight hours? you get up early and go to bed early? eat lots of fruits and vegetables? you do exercises every morning? you always brush your teeth after eating? you don't drink harmful drinks? you— oh, I'm glad you're moving!!! don't forget to bring a blanket with me or I'll crawl up to you at night & bite your ankles until you learn a lesson<3333 /t /hj

... and, and after that you say that you take care of yourself??? eating rotten crumbs??? I mean, panna cotta is much tastier when they was trembling and scared before, you know? it improves the taste😳 and they're cute when they're afraid— I can't, I can't say that, you're too hasty, we still know each other so little, I can't say that we're 'close', after all, we hardly know each other, we are almost strangers, even if we have babies, so I want to keep every memory of us, especially so dear to both of us<3333 /t /hj />:3333

you? serious? about me? I would rather believe that our babies are adopted than in such things after you refuse to let me out of the closet🫤🫤🫤 then it turns out I'm nobody, because I definitely saw it~ hehehe<3333 /t /j

ooo!!! I have a whole list, and I'm ready to read it to you😋

1. stop hiding under the blanket or stop hiding your feet under the blanket!!!

2. don't close the closet tightly!!!

3. free zone for bites (at your choice)!!!

4. stop walking away from me when I want to come out and bite you!!!

5. where is my comfortable place under the bed??? either a place under the blanket, or make me a new house, the closet is dirty and stuffy!!!

6. ventilate more often, I have nothing to breathe!!!

7. why don't you finally go to bed??? maybe I need to get out too, and I don't want you to know where I am and which place to avoid :////

8. what about breakfast??? why don't I often see you having breakfast??? what can I eat if you don't take anything out and leave it for at least a couple of minutes???

9. maybe a little personal space when you go out for a walk longer??? I have things to do, too, and it's not my fault that my place under the bed is no longer there ://////

10. I propose to arrange one day a week when I can bite you anywhere and you don't shake me off!!! because your behavior is outrageous!!! TERRIBLE!! very not panna cotta-ish!!!!!!

/t /j

[lit-in-thy-heart]

merwaincelot and dumb things

merlin: pulls an umbrella cover over an umbrella and starts laughing

gwaine: gets temporarily trapped in the bathroom at half twelve at night and immediately begins to feel claustrophobic despite it being a reasonably sized bathroom

lancelot: grazes palm when trying to open a small bottle of apple juice

[coreancitizen]

Thoughts on 'Reborn Rich' ep 15

One of the first things I noticed at the chairman's first death anniversary was Hwa Young and Change Je sitting with Yoon Ki's family at one table, while the Young Ki's and Dong Ki's families had separate tables for themselves. Since the chairman's death, Hwa Young truly has become a mere garnish for her brothers.

"Boast about it only after you become the chairman, OK?" Hyeon Min to Seong Jun: Stop counting your chickens before they hatch, goddamnit.

His uncle needing Do Jun to spell out everything about Soonyang card the shares was hilarious. Dude! He's been doing this for years, playing you off against each other. If you weren't so blinded by your greed and ambition to be Soonyang's chairman you would have seen this coming a mile away!

That was a rather painful but much needed conversation between father and son. Seong Jun has a point about how the world has changed, that there are now things such as profit and shareholders' rights under consideration. Dong Ki gets a similar lesson from Mason later in the ep. But the more important part of this conversation is Seong Jun telling his father what he really thinks of him — he a loser.

One of my favorite things about this show, even though we don't get much of it, is Do Jun's relationship with his celebrity mom. I thought he would have moved out by now so it was nice to see him home and her waiting up for him. Laughed-cried at her comment about not knowing whether she was raising a son or a boarder. Kinda teared up when she talked about wanting her son to find someone he can talk and open up to. Do Jun says he does, and Song Joong Ki really sells the smitten look so I'll forgive the rather perfunctory development of this romance.

Speaking of romance, Min Young has Do Jun served with an arrest warrant for alleged illegal handover of political funds. Not a subpoena for an interview, an ARREST warrant because she didn't want him destroying evidence or fleeing the country hahaha. I'm not gonna break down how Do Jun bested his uncles and cousin again but the whole thing pretty much depended on Min Young being VERY good at her job and her knowing what kind of person Do Jun is. She later tells Do Jun she's still not sure whether he was set up or did the setting up (girl, you know the answer, c'mon!).

One of my fave scenes from this ep: Mason describing the concept of "the Korea discount." Per a Sept. 20, 2022, Reuters story, the discount refers to a "tendency for South Korean companies to have lower valuations than global peers due to factors such as low dividend payouts, the dominance of opaque conglomerates known as chaebols and geopolitical risks involving North Korea." Mason lays out just how ridiculous the idea of handing down the business to one's children is. "It's like selecting a national team athlete based on the sole fact of whether their parents were medalists regardless of how competitive they are in the international market." Dong Ki, with his attempts at flattery and intimidation, is completely put in his place.

Looks like Dong Ki is not getting the "3 and 5" deal (sentenced for 3 years with 5 years suspended sentence on good behavior) so his wife hustles over to Jeongsimjae to ask Young Ki, the dude who went to prison for his dad and still suffers leg problems because of it, for help saving his ass. Of course the answer was no, considering all the scheming Dong Ki has done all these years that undermined older bro. Young Ki's wife couldn't wait to get her dig in. Unfortunately, it bites her and her family in the ass later as the investigation expands into Soonyang Corporation.

Did the Prosecutor's Office really detain Do Jun in that tiny room for 48 hours??? And how impressive and fast are Min Young's investigators?? Anyway, we get a "Leverage"-style montage of how Do Jun set up his uncles and the competence porn is truly topnotch. Plus Bible and art lessons from Change Je and Hyeon Min, respectively. The end result is Young Ki throwing his one asset under the bus and his son returning the favor in the next available moment.

With the uncles AND cousin seemingly out of contention for chairmanship of the group, Do Jun burnishes his image by donating his $700 million "inheritance" from Chairman Jin (is that from the Micro Project slush fund?) and quickly turns public opinion around. Not surprisingly he gets voted the next chairman of Soonyang Group.

What does he do next? Goes to that infernal museum he and his grandfather were supposed to visit on the day Chairman Jin was to announce him as the CEO of the holding company and his heir apparent. This time he does get a chance to enter building and look around. In front of a bigger-than-life portrait of his bigger-than-life grandfather, he wonders if he finally got his revenge or if he can finally call himself his grandson now, the series-long struggle of his character boiled down. He has no answer yet, right now he just misses the cantankerous old man.

What follows is next is both a surprise and not — another car accident, supposedly because some things are just fixed. The shocker comes from who is at the scene of the crime. Do Jun, as he's looking at Hyun Woo, thinks the person who killed me is no other than myself. Dun dun dun!

Questions galore: Is Hyun Woo there by coincidence or part of the plan to murder Do Jun? If he's part of the conspiracy, did whoever hire him notice he's the mirror image of Jin Do Jun? I can't imagine this being a closed (time travel) loop. That Hyun Woo will now end up serving the family. Wouldn't he remember the murder he was a part of? He didn't even know Do Jun died. How would all this match up with what we saw happened in the first episode? I really hope the writers have a satisfying answer. Maybe it'll be more like The King Eternal Monarch, that with big enough changes, Do Jun can change his fate.

[henry-and-the-seven-lords]

Hello @gluttonousfruit you are in fact my first request. (I did not forget about you in moving my blog.) I am super excited to have anyone ask me to write something! Also I would love to be friends! Feel free to message me through asks or in private DMs! I hope you enjoy the imagine!

Warnings: Fluff with a small amount of angst because Levi doubts himself 😞

Brothers Masterlist | Dateables Masterlist

Levi with an Animator S/O

"Okay MC, I know we just finished 'Swimming Only Leads to Hot Mermaids,' but I was thinking since we are already watching otomes, we should watch another series that everyone is recommending online!" Levi says this as he begins to pull out one DVD and place in another while bouncing on the balls of his feet like an excited puppy.

"I guess I could watch one more series, but it better be a good one. Sure the mermaids were attractive, but there wasn't much of a plot." MC says with a yawn. A quick look over to the clock, and it reads 11:48 PM in a blinding blue light. Not too late for one of Levi's normal bingefests, but a little too late for MC when they have classes tomorrow.

"No, I promise this one is good. Everyone is talking about the art style. They say it is so original that it's captivating." Levi walks to the small futon briskly and plops himself down next to MC as he continues to ramble about the art. His voice slowly trails off as the opening begins to play.

As the music fills MC's ears, they perk up and a small smile appears on their face. "Levi, could this perhaps be, 'I Went to Hell For a Weekend and Got Stuck in a Love Heptagon with Seven Incubi'?"

Levi faces MC in shock. The look on their face is quite smug. (In all seriousness, it reminds Levi of Mammon when he wins poker, but he doesn't want to be think about his brother while looking at MC. So he pushes that thought away.) This anime came out only the day before their bingefest. And even then, Levi had this copy pre-ordered for this very occasion and it arrived before any stores were selling physical copies. There is no way a normie like MC could have heard about its release. Does this mean MC isn't such a normie after all?

"You heard of this show already?" The surprise in his voice was impossible to hide.

"Yeah, I have heard of it." MC smiles and chuckles quietly, "I have never actually seen it, but I have heard the opening quite a few times."

"Oh..." Levi sighs. He was so stupid. Of course MC had heard the opening. It is all over his Devilgram and they were on their phone for part of the last show, so they obviously just heard it on there. Levi deflates looking solemn. It was just a pipe dream that MC would ever be interested in his yucky otaku interests.

"Hey! There is no reason to be all sad just because I know the name of the show. I still haven't seen the whole thing. My first time watching will still be with you Levi, isn't that special enough?" The smile on MC's face seemed sincere enough, but the words that came out of their mouth made blood rush up to Levi's cheeks. Their first... did they really mean to say it like that?...

As thoughts begin to flood Leviathan's head the show began. It was true the art style was captivating. So captivating in fact, that he forgot about his embarrassment. But MC's words still lingered in his mind as he watched the show.

---------------------------------------------------------

"Well, I am dead tired." MC stands cracking their aching joints as they look at the clock. 2:37 AM. It was that late already? "I think I need to head to bed Levi. I have classes in the morning and I need at least a few hours of sleep."

"Are you sure?" Levi was just starting to enjoy MC's presence. At the beginning of the night, he was on edge trying to make everything perfect. Levi did want to mess up by being a yucky Otaku and give them a reason to leave him all alone. But as the night progressed, (and more snacks were consumed) he felt increasingly more comfortable with sharing his favorite shows with MC. "I have other shows we could watch to pass the time, or we could play this new game I got-"

MC walks over to Levi and gently sets their hands on his shoulders, "Games and anime are great, but what I need right now is sleep." MC watched as Levi's face filled with a blush and his eyes flashed with hurt. "I am not leaving because I am mad... or sad... or anything really. I just need to sleep, Leviathan." Their voice was barely above a whisper as they said his name. How could he disagree with them when they said his name like that; all the while, looking deep into his eyes. He felt like he could explode.

As MC turns away, the demon in question then sighs mutters a quiet "okay" under his breath. "Don't worry, Levi. This isn't the last time I will watch anime with you. I promise we can do another one of these when another new anime comes out." MC begins to pick up their things. A blanket they brought with them to keep warm in Levi's cold room and the rest of their human snacks. "Besides, I really liked that one, and I have heard they are already making season two." As they speak, MC makes their way across the room to the gigantic tank.

"Wait. How do you-"

"Good night Henry. Good night Levi." And with that, MC leaves. Closing the door behind them.

How did MC know about a second season? Even he, the Great Otaku Levi, has not heard about a season two on any forums or on any other website... After thinking about it, Levi suspects it's probably on Devilgram like the opening was. To prove his theory, he pulls out his D.D.D. and opens up Devilgram to the 'I Went to Hell For a Weekend and Got Stuck in a Love Heptagon with Seven Incubi' page. He scrolls through their posts and finds the opening, like he predicted, but what he didn't predict was their most recent post.

"This show would not have been possible without MC. Thank you for making such a great story and great art to go along with it!"

Levi reads the caption once, twice, thrice and is speechless. The photo for this post is none other than his MC standing with a hand drawn piece of the protagonist. He can even see their signature in the corner when he zooms in! He knew that they liked to draw, but he never thought they would make an anime.

Without thinking, Levi gets up and begins to run to MC's room. He needs to know that this isn't some sort of elaborate prank that MC and Satan brewed up to make him like a normie more.

The door to MC's room busts open, "MC!" The room is completely dark except for the light shining in through the doorway.

"Levi...? Is that you? Is something wrong?" MC's voice is soft and laced with sleep. If this were any other time, Levi would have screamed over their cuteness, but today he had a mission. He immediately marches up to the half asleep MC and promptly shoves his phone in their face.

"Did you make 'I Went to Hell For a Weekend and Got Stuck in a Love Heptagon with Seven Incubi'?" MC sits up and squints as their eyes adjust to the blinding screen and look at the post.

"Um... yeah. That's me isn't it?" Silence takes over the room, before Levi begins to scream.

"WAHHHHH! MC, why didn't you tell me!" Thankfully with the phone only being pointed at MC, they can't see the blush spreading across his face.

"Well, I didn't want you to treat me differently because I make anime." Laying back down as they speak, MC tucks a pillow under their head and looks up to where they guess Leviathan's face is. "Besides, I thought it was really cute how you were fanboying, and I didn't want you to stop because you knew you were in the presence of the creator." A small smile makes it's way on to MC's face as Levi feels his own get hotter.

Now covering his face, Levi quickly makes his way to the door while muttering, "You can't just say things like that..." As he begins to close the door, he pauses and opens it up again while looking back, "Can you tell me more about your show tomorrow, MC?" His voice sounds small compared to his previous scream.

"Of course Levi. We can talk for as long as you like."

[maddiem4]

I'm eating potato salad with ghost pepper salt, and breaking into a cute little bottle of sake. The illustrations on the jar are adorable. A geisha in a light mauve kimono enjoying a cup of sake, with her pet cat joining her in various poses. It's very stylized, it's very sweet.

This is a safety measure.

It's delicious, by the way.

You know I always thought, it takes time. The more I look like a woman, and sound like a woman, and more of the time, the easier it would be for everybody. Last night at the Saloon I passed perfectly. Nobody knew that I didn't tell. I've made it. Raise a glass.

But time isn't it. Grandma's had time, quite a decent amount, actually. I swallow it down and pretend it's fine, with the he, the him, the name. If it were actually about looking so girl that nobody called me boy, then I wouldn't be hearing this shit months and months later. Because I've made it and it didn't actually make a difference. It's not about appearance.

And even if it's mostly her, it isn't just her. It's just mostly her.

The one thing I have going for me is my looks, and 48 hours later, I'm already fighting a losing battle against time, my coach turning into a pumpkin, the bristles growing back in. It's just a fight against my body all the time, and it's exhausting. I'm so tired, I briefly consider asking for someone to walk the dog for me. Just in case.

There's always the option.

But I don't want anybody in my real life to know how I'm feeling. Fuck that. I'm fine. I don't need anybody's help. I can go out with the dog just fine, get back perfectly safe, be a responsible mom who lives up to her responsibilities to care for others. Of course I can, it's implicit even. I just need to get out, get back, and get something to drink. Nothing to it. And I do it, easy. I get done and I get back inside.

But there's always the option. And I'm attuned to it tonight.

Because you know what the problem with this road is? It's all these fast cars. They go by at ten-over-limit at all hours of the night, and if you just didn't pay attention and walked right into traffic, it'd be over before you know, you know? You gotta be safe about that kind of thing. You have to always look both ways, and always pay attention, and always wait for the cars to pass.

Or...

Well that's not really worth thinking about, is it? Yeah I'm stuck between a binary of two places where people know my history too well - my childhood identity or my failed marriage - with absolutely no agency which one I live in, adrift in the current. Yeah, I can hang in there for the next however many months without certainty or stability or safety in my life, with no fresh start in sight. Yeah, I can do my time in the waking nightmare, and by force of will project onto reality the fineness of it all. Manifest serenity. Be palatable wherever I'm trapped. And never ever walk into high speed traffic.

Or.

Or.

....

...or.

I mean there's always the option. In fact it's kind of hard to forget or ignore, under the circumstances, that there is always, always the option.

So I sip, and the numbness - the safety - wraps its arms around me. Another day, another dollar, amirite, y'all? It's not forever. I just need to outlast a circumstance again. I've done that. I tune out the thought that came to me at the corner with Connor in my arms - maybe he was right at the time, maybe he should have died a long time ago. Departed in his teens. That's unnecessary. That's an unnecessary thought process.

The sake is already almost gone. And I only feel a little better. It strikes me as so very silly and improbable, the what-if, as in, "what if this is the last thing I ever write?" I mean, that's absolutely insane, and unlikely, and absolutely definitely without a doubt probably not going to be true. Wow, really not a lot left in this glass, huh? That was 200ml? That went by quick.

One sip left. Thankfully I have more booze behind the record player, not so much hidden as "tastefully not on display." I got a little vodka, a little rum, a bit of cheap whiskey. Not a bad lineup honestly. And that's good because now the sake is gone, and I'm definitely going to need to supplement it. No way in hell is this how I go out.

You know I really don't have respect for the idea that "alcohol is never the answer when you're feeling bad - it's to enhance good times, not mollify bad ones." I sympathize with that perspective. I used to have it, in the same way I once approached strangers as a five-year-old and informed them that smoking was bad for their health. But it's very naive and privileged. Good for you, never having to test that theory against the rubber of your life meeting the road. That is so, so nice. What ever would I do without that seasoned, expert life wisdom guarding me from terrible - nay, unthinkable - fates?

I sip some Jim Beam from the bottle and live another day. I'm sure that's just correlation.

You know something? With the Christmas lights up this time of year, you really can see the road from my window 24 hours a day. It's pretty. But it's starting to get distracting, and I know writing helps me, so I close the curtains, and realize what I want to happen next in my novel. Something with fungus, and the dissolution of distinction between human and object, and cemeteries providing a context and destination for a life where heritage is on your side, where a person's fate is woven into one place like skin gradually fusing to a sofa cushion. Yes. That's what I want.

The bottle's half full and the night's still young.

[allegra-writes]

"Bad together"

Prologue: Benjamin Reilly

Peter Parker x Reader

General audiences

Warnings: none.

"And if I'm dead to you

Why are you at the wake?

Cursing my name, wishing I stayed"

My tears ricochet - Taylor Swift

"... It's a disaster! Look at her! It's like someone took a look at Black Cat, selected everything that made her sexy and then took it out!"

Black Cat. The name froze the young photographer on his tracks right outside his boss' office. He hadn't heard that name in a long time, the last sighting had been well over a year ago. He would know.  After all, it had been him, the very last person to have seen Felicia Hardy, alive or dead.

"What are you talking about? That looks hot af, not to mention badass!" Jade's persuasive voice reached his ears, making him smirk: It was no secret the chief editor had a soft spot for the young intern. And, on her part, the petite brunette was a firecracker. Poor old Jameson didn't stand a chance. "Come on, dad. Single handedly taking down three of the Kingpin's goons? That's impressive. It deserves to be one of the slides!" 

"Not if we don't get a higher quality picture. That blurry video is good enough for a thumbnail, but not for a slide" Slides were a big deal, they were the Dailybugle.net's equivalent of a front page, and if J. Jonah Jameson took something seriously, it was his web site. He prided himself in the quality of the "receipts" of his "tea", as if that validated the trashiness of the bullshit articles he posted, more fiction from hyper imaginative wannabe writers than serious work from real reporters. 

"Well, then let's get the pictures. Where is that star photographer of yours?" 

The photographer rolled his eyes, typical Jade. As if the queen of cool didn't know his name. As if she hadn't graced his bed a handful of times already. 

"That's a good question. Dolores, get me Reilly!"

"I'm here, Jonah" Ben finally stepped inside the office, throwing an envelope on Jameson's desk before throwing himself on a chair across it. He could feel Jade's eyes on him, almost like a physical caress, trailing from the long, slick back curls on the top of his head, to the muscles of his arms, threatening to rip open the seams at the sleeves of his white t-shirt, to his jean clad thighs. Still, he didn't turn to look at her, refusing to give her the satisfaction. 

"What do you have for me today, boy?"

Ben gesticulated vaguely with his head in the direction of Jade, and Jameson caught the hint. 

"Jade, out!" 

"But, dad, my story!" The petulant reply left her mouth before she could stop it, undoubtedly the product of years of habit. But she had the grace to look embarrassed and leave the office without another word, trying to save whatever professionalism she had left. 

Once she was gone, Jameson opened the envelope, flipping through the various pictures of a masked figure swinging around New York in a black and red suit. 

"Hmmm… these are good" the older man praised, staring at the images of a frustrated robbery at 5th avenue

Ben snifled nocomitically,

"There was a fire at 16th avenue happening at the same time" He offered, "we could use that. Spider-Man forgets his roots and leaves his old neighborhood to fend for itself, running off to save some pretty socialite…"

"Oh, that is excellent! See, this is why I like you, kid. You have initiative. Unlike these snowflakes out there. Oh, but Spider-Man is a hero. Hero, my ass"

"Well, when you watch your so called hero sit back and do nothing as your life gets destroyed" Ben shrugged, "the rose colored glasses tend to fall off…"

Jameson made a face at that,

"Yeah, about that… I'm sorry. For the role the Daily Bugle played on that…"

Ben shook his head, 

"You thought you were getting the truth out there. It's not your fault to have been played, along with half the world. Plus," he added, sounding genuinely enthusiastic, "you gave me this job. And now we can really tell the truth"

"Even when our idea of the truth is somehow different" The older man scoffed, flipping around a picture of Spider-Man sat on what appeared to be a hammock of his own webs, eating a hamburger and reading something that looked suspiciously like a comic book, "Still hung up on that high schooler theory of yours?"

"Well, if it talks like a brat and acts like a brat…" Ben took out another envelope, this time containing a few burger king wrappers and, effectively, a spider-man comic book. 

"Where did you even get these?"

"Harlem" was Ben's curt reply, and Jameson knew that was as exact a location as he was going to get. 

"So you still believe this is a copycat? Some kid playing dress up"

Ben simply shrugged again. 

"Well, there seems to be an epidemic of those lately" Jameson admitted, indicating Ben to come closer, passing a tablet to him, "Jade just handled me this, take a look"

Ben took a deep breath, steeling himself, already knowing what he was going to see in it. Yet, a part of him couldn't help but hope to be wrong. To hope the silver haired figure facing three much bigger, stronger looking ones as he pressed play, wasn't the same one he had spent weeks memorizing last summer. Wasn't the body he had found solace in, when everything fell apart, once again, for the hundredth time in his life. 

To hope it wasn't you. 

But when in his twenty-two or so years of existence, had things ever gone his way? 

Ben felt the screen crack under his fingertips.

"I've heard of her" he lied through his teeth, "didn't even think she was real, to be honest. Extremely elusive, and cunning." That much was true, "I don't understand how something as mundane as a security camera managed to catch her…" 

Unless you wanted to be caught, that was. 

"Well, I don't care if she's the fucking Loch Ness monster, I want an HD picture of her on my desk tomorrow to go with Jade's article. I already have a headline: New Catastrophe Jen wreaks havoc on Hell's Kitchen" Jameson's eyes lit up with glee as he weaved his hands up in the air, like writing on an invisible marquee. 

Ben snorted

"Don't you mean Calamity Jane?"

Jameson's face fell, the color rising to his cheeks, characteristic vein popping on his forehead. 

"I meant what I meant, boy! Now, what are you still doing here? You have 24 hours to get me that picture"

"I'm going to need 72," came Ben's unphased reply, "and I want twice what you pay me for the spidey pics"

Jameson's vein looked about ready to explode,

"48 hours. And deal."

Ben jumped from his seat and bolted out of the office before his boss could change his mind, not realizing until it was too late that he was on a collision course with a sweet looking short haired blonde girl. 

"Watch where you're going! Jeez!"

"Me? You're the one who crashed against me!" 

Ben rolled his eyes, but crouched next to the girl anyway, helping her gather the papers that had been sent flying on impact back together.

"Peter? Oh my god, is that you?"

Of course. What an idiot, he should had recognized that annoying, shrilly voice the second he heard it. It had caught him off guard, something he knew he couldn't afford. But how could he had ever imagine he could run into Betty fucking Brant, Yale cum laude, in the freaking dailybugle.net headquarters of all places?

"Sorry, sweetheart. You must confuse me with someone else…" He mumbled, lowering his head even more in a vain attempt to hide his face.

"Of course not!" She insisted, "You're Peter, Peter Parker, we went to Midtown together!"

"Miss, I have no idea what you're talking about…"

"Don't be silly, Peter!" She chuckled, completely deft to his tone or the way his whole demeanor had changed the second she had called him by the old name. "How have you been? Oh, just wait until I tell Ned, he's going to be so-"

CRACK.

At last, the tablet that had been in peril ever since Jameson had put it in Ben's hands, the one that contained his assignment, met its demise, both broken halves falling to the ground, along with all the papers he had picked up for Betty. It was several moments before he could get the shaking of his hands under control, before the tar black rage inside him subsided enough for him to be able to move without shifting. But it had.

"Peter Parker is dead." He deadpanned, dark brown eyes finally meeting Betty's stunned blue ones, "Tell Ned that, he'll probably be glad to hear it"

With that, he stood up and walked away, leaving a confused and agitated Betty behind. 

To be continued...

[reynie-muldoons]

'The Dance of the Celestial Orb' liveblog!

for real this time lmfao

book and show spoilers below

I'm ✨nervous✨ please let our children be okay

0:10 this Sticky arc hurts me so kuch

1:35 this music is BUMPIN

2:22 I just wanna know how she got under there without the dude seeing her

2:47 "all systems go" for the Improvement.... yikes 😬😬😬

2:55 she didn't wait even 5 seconds after they left, the door was still closing when she popped up 😂 can you imagine if one of them doubled back right at that moment

3:18 they look like the dudes from that veggietales movie, I think it was Esther- the island of perpetual tickling?? Anyone??? 😂😂😂

4:00 Kate vented.......

4:51 "not a rat" yeah no shit

5:07 if not for the suspense, I would be jamming out lmaooo

6:10 Mr. Benedict is looking at the shoreline, is he about to watch Kate dive in???? Because I mean that's where she's gotta be going

6:20 "memory challenges"? Is Rhonda talking about Milligan's amnesia, or has short term memory been affected as well??

6:29 .....thank you for answering so efficiently 😂

6:42 "I buy it. I completely.... buy it." RHONDA THAT'S NOT HELPFUL AHSKSHDJKD

6:56 can you imagine seeing your friend go down in a sub then hours later seeing the sub float up in fucking PIECES

7:06 KATE! KATE! KATE! KATE!

7:06 please let it be reunion time

7:25 oh hello that's a drop

7:38 *to the tune of Bezos I* come on Katie u can do it pave the way put ur back into it

7:51 she craves that mineral

8:06 Sticky, my child

8:20 oh my gosh they went out and LOOKED FOR HER I care them 😭😭😭

8:23 SHE KNEW HIS DREAM SHE KNEW HIS DREAM TELEPATH TELEPATH TELEPATH

8:34 STICKY STOPPPP

8:40 "jumping to conclusions is a failure of character" wow that really is something Curtain would say

8:52 angry Reynie. He is in rare form

8:54 "and you helped put her there!" OOOOOOOH I SCREAMED

9:03 "I shouldn't have yelled" okay but you kinda should have Sticky needs a wake up call

9:06 "dont apologize. I like this side of you." IS THIS THE START OF REYNIE AND CONSTANCE HAVING THE BEST SIBLING RELATIONSHIP

9:22 "if you really cared about me, you'd want me to be happy instead of standing there telling me who I am" oh Sticky my dude I am NOT digging the manipulation

9:36 Reynie pulling out the BFF card!!! Also Reynie digging in his feet because he knows he's right!!!! That's great setup for his arc as a strategist later

9:48 "I'm telling you, Kate's fine." Narrator: Kate was not, in fact, fine.

10:03 "they'll notice." Sticky has made one (1) good point.

10:11 oh dear god are they fingerprinting this bitch

10:19 all this equipment, has no one walked up to the cliff and looked down???

10:23 HAHAHAHA WAIT THEY ACTUALLY HAVEN'T

10:27 "we've been out here all night" that means Kate has been clinging to a cliff by her fingers and toes ALL NIGHT????

11:04 babe I know it's been a long night but maybe wait a second for them to actually leave before you climb back up

11:15 BUCKET NO

11:22 she has to go get it. There's no way someone wouldn't find that shit, it's in plain view

11:37 "WAS"???? WHY ARE WE SAYING WAS????? NO PAST TENSE HERE MILLIGAN'S FINE

11:43 "I only wish we could've known him better" NOOOPE NONONO WE'RE NOT DOING THIS

11:47 Rhonda back at it as the voice of reason!!!!!

11:59 "I have never met a more competent swimmer" throwback to "the baaAAAYYYY"

12:10 MR. BENEDICT'S FACE HAHAHAHA HOLD ON LET ME TAKE A PICTURE IM DYING

12:11 NUMBER TWO, NOT HELPING

12:14 RHONDA'S FACE HAHENDJDKDN

12:33 "we will go rescue him" because of COURSE he would

12:36 Rhonda is his best wingwoman omfg she's so consistent

12:54 MISS PERUMAL??????

12:56 MISS PERUMAL!!!!!!

13:00 SHE KNOWS HE'S RIGHT GAKSHDBDHEKSNND

13:09 "how hard can it be? It's an island!" PFFFFT

13:16 oh SQ baby boy please get out of there

13:25 "I certainly have my own suspicions" he said, looking at SQ why are you looking at SQ like that

13:31 SQ GET OUT OF THERE PLEASE IS2G

13:36 here we fuckin go

13:43 the captions have the f in forest capitalized like it's this special place

13:43 new hc that the Forest is a magical place like pixie hollow

13:57 TWO THINGS: 1. YES stand up for yourself baby!!!! 2. Shepard Quaid? Interesting! I don't think we ever got SQ's full name in the books, I hope TLS made that decision!

14:08 your "father hat"??? Oh my gosh shut the fuck up right there don't even continue

14:16 oh yeah real fuckin cute put on your "steward of this institution hat" and call that a good reason to be a shit person

14:43 "No." GOOD FOR HIMMMM GOOD JOB SQ

15:03 Kate's struggling right by the shore where a certain someone would be returning after a very hard swim, it would be a great time for a meeting wouldn't you think

15:09 KATE THE GREAT

15:11 "THE TRAPESE GODDESS" I WILL REFER TO HER AS NOTHING ELSE

15:26 sorry but that green screen of her falling was kinda funny

15:28 soooooo is someone, a very certain someone, gonna catch her...??????

15:36 YEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH

15:43 IS THIS IT????@?@?!?

15:46 awww poor baby girl you can tell how tired she is

15:46 just putting this out there- they look so good in frame together

15:46 the actor who plays Milligan is fucking huge in stature so I wasn't sure how that would go but it looks so good

16:00 THE WAY HE'S LOOKING AT HER WITH HIS HAND ON HER SHOULDER I CANT DO THISSSSS

16:20 "keep going." 😭😭😭😭😭

16:23 "you dont understand." Ohhhh I think he does

16:25 "I think I do." What did I tell you, he's got your back babygirl

16:45 I'm so glad she's talking this out, and with Milligan of all people

17:01 it makes so much sense for Kate to feel alone in that situation, and when Kate feels anything less than positive she goes and does something, whatever that something is.

17:05 "So.. I...." "fell off a cliff and nearly died." Thanks for putting things into perspective Milligan

17:05 Milligan is such a good dad stop

17:19 "most of the way" is an understatement LMFAO

17:29 I'm so glad we know the intimate details of Milligan's illustrious swimming abilities 😂 out of all the new things wfrom the show that one wasnt on my radar

17:52 leave it to Milligan to come up with an escape plan off of an island with no water vessel with four kids in tow

18:08 THEYRE SO CUTE 😭😭😭😭

18:08 lowkey I'm super surprised they didnt take this opportunity to have Milligan's arduous swim force his memories out and have the father daughter bonding time they deserve. I hope they give that moment ample time to flesh out.

18:13 BUCKET!!!

18:13 wait that shot is so artsy hold up lmfao

18:13 this looks like someone's photography final hahahaha

18:26 THE TENDER MUSIC STOPPPP 😭😭😭

18:41 Sticky is still on that jumping to conclusions bs he got from Curtain

18:44 WETHERALL'S WIDGET 😭

19:31 "Kate... she's in danger..." NO SHIT SHERLOCK

19:36 "and it's all because of me." Not just because of you but love to see you taking responsibility

19:52 once again I am asking WHY ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT THIS IN THE OPEN

20:26 "Kate. She has changed." "Not really. She's always been who she is." "Her clothes. She changed clothes." PFFFT HAHHAHA they really took a moment of self-reflection and made it so much better

20:55 AYYYYY KATE'S DEPENDENCY ARC CONTINUESSSSS

21:35 yikes yikes yikes

22:16 I love that Mr. Benedict got closure in telling Miss Perumal that her words stuck with him

22:40 the way she just knows Reynie took the position of leader 😭😭

22:54 SHE WROTE HIM A LETTERRR

23:02 "Would it be possible to get this to him?" Ma'am what part of undercover spy don't you get

23:54 it's still really weird that we are now in a position where Reynie is the one who is not trusted and Sticky is the one in Curtain's favor

24:13 and here we see Curtain's thinly veiled anger issues shining through

24:21 "the little things matter. Every minor detail, it all matters!" CALLBACK TO MR. BENEDICT TELLING THE CHILDREN THAT THEY ALL MATTER

24:55 "I can tell with complete accuracy when a person is lying." first of all, no. second of all, I cannot wait for him to talk to Constance.

26:33 why is Mr. Benedict graphically explaining the children's potential trauma so funny to me

26:40 "you're catastrophizing." "Yes. I am. Quite severely. Thank you." WHY IS THIS FUNNY

26:58 MADGE!!!!

27:16 she's so prettyyyyy

27:33 GOOD JOB MADGE!!!!!

27:36 wait did she just take the LETTER??? she's delivering the LETTER?????

28:05 WHAT DOES "OKAY FINE" MEAN??? REYNIE??????

28:22 it's sad because it's true 🥺

28:24 "I miss my teacher from the orphanage" the best lies are the ones rooted in truth 🥺🥺🥺

28:48 roll credits

29:16 Reynie honey Orion's Belt isn't on the ceiling

29:29 the way he was so confident that he had it right 😑 Curtain Stop Being a Pretentious Fuck challenge

29:52 our babygirl is so smartttt

29:55 did Milligan plant his prints 😳 oh no OH NO

29:57 MARTINA???? WHATSUEJHDKD

29:57 is this the replacement for when they pin cheating on her????

30:03 THE KEY CARD!!!!

30:11 MADGEEEE

30:21 "one attacked me as a small child" honey you are a small child

30:24 "it did not win," she said, smiling menacingly

30:40 "so we dance again" WHY DID THE MUSIC REV UP WHEN SHE SAID THAT HAHAHAHA

31:01 ✨woodworking is a passion✨

31:58 "was it functional?" "Well I guess that depends on how you define functionality" RHONDA'S FACE IN THE BACKGROUND HAHAHAHA

32:10 OH HEY MARTINA

32:17 wait 🥺

32:22 that has to be SQ :)

32:28 hi sweet boy

32:34 please tell me they did that shot of the sandwich because Madge is about to take it

32:39 LMFAOOOOO

32:44 hi good girl!!! Enjoy your snackies

32:50 oh god oh no the LETTER

33:25 oh wow we're doing this NOW??

33:52 and here we see another example of Curtain's thinly veiled anger issues bubbling to the surface

34:10 hey what if you uhhh weren't such an asshole

34:33 that man's voice is buttery

34:52 REYNIE'S TRYING TO TELL SQ????

35:02 and they're talking about this right in front of the office door, WHY??

35:24 AND THEY'RE TALKING ABOUT THIS RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE OFFICE DOOR, WHY????

35:55 he's letting him go 🥺🥺🥺🥺

36:14 why does that look like a body bag

36:17 oh my gosh it definitely is a body bag, hey Martina

36:25 yep, that's about what I expected

36:36 "whoever did this to me, they're gonna pay" oh girl do I have some bad news for you

37:12 ahhhh, so Martina is the burnt out gifted kid who keeps going out of spite and sheer force of will

37:12 everything makes much more sense now

37:30 ohhhhh my gosh feelings time

37:44 "I think it's awesome." "Yeah. I know you do." THE SHIPPERS ARE THRIVING

37:54 THEY REALLY WANT TO MAKE THIS AS PAINFUL AS POSSIBLE HUH

38:10 "it's the least I can do" that's an understatement 😬

38:14 AAWWWWW SHKSHSLSBDK

38:20 "I don't know what I'd do without you, Wetherall" STOPPPPP

38:30 HEY BUD UH MAYBE CLOSE YOUR DOOR???

38:38 he's been writing letters to her every night and now he finally gets one back 😭😭

39:34 so Miss Perumal wrote this letter with the intention of it being sent to him, right- why did she write it like that?? 😂

39:34 they've gone to such lengths to communicate in code but the letter kind of undermines that- it was written in such a way that an onlooker would know Reynie was a spy but wouldn't know what he was doing or why. No wonder SQ was pissed

39:41 KATE!!

40:10 BREAKING NEWS: local bastard man treats everyone like shit

40:15 ohhhhh SQ bud please be careful

40:30 "always have time for my son," he said in a clipped voice that implied that he does not have time for his son

40:35 ohhh he's getting RIGHT INTO IT HUH

40:41 you mean to tell me he's never asked about Mr. Curtain's work?? Ever???? Somehow that doesn't seem right to me

40:57 hey uh what if you didn't talk down to SQ at every opportunity

41:02 "would you care to reconsider that answer, son?" "No." DIG THOSE HEELS IN SQ!!!!

41:22 I'm really not digging that Curtain is using the guise of openly expressing his feelings to communicate his anger and his unasked question. Not cool bitch head

41:33 the fact that he didn't answer SQ's spoken question kind of also answers his unspoken question

41:45 "I knew there was something off about that girl. But espionage?" "How do you so convincingly fake a tetherball obsession?" I love that this entire conversation could be about Martina or Kate interchangeably

42:34 WELL THAT'S NOT GOOD

42:36 IF IT WAS THAT EASY TO FIND WITH BINOCULARS HOW HAD THEY NOT BEEN SPOTTED UP UNTIL THIS POINT?!!?#? HOW????

43:05 Kate advocating for Martina with the Society 🥺🥺 the interaction I didn't know I needed

43:58 "I definitely don't like to leave anything unfinished." "That's true, I've seen you eat." PFFFFT

44:05 YESS YOU GO STICKY USE YOUR ACCESS FOR PRIME INTEL

44:19 "well, you can't succeed without me, so..." baby girl you have no idea how right you are

44:28 please let that be Milligan PLEASE LET THAT BE MILLIGAN

44:32 YEAAAAAHHHHH

44:35 I simply adore him

44:45 "would you mind helping me down, please? I'm stuck." Your honor I would die for this man

44:54 oh shit, Martina's tryna sleuth it out herself.. this can't end well

45:04 is she about to find Kate's marbles or something?? Callback to the book?

45:26 the absolute MURDER in her eyes

45:31 FUCKIN YIKES

45:41 "the clothes of someone who had given up" ASEJDGEIDNDLFK

45:47 well that's not good

46:00 WELL THAT'S NOT GOOD

46:04 PLEASE let them be on their way already, please

46:14 THEY MADE A BLIMP????

46:17 Goodyear is QUAKING

46:35 why the fuck is Number Two in red, that's upsetting on principle

THEYRE JUST ENDING IT THERE???? goddamnit!!!!

How surreal is it that next week is the finale?? Idk if I'm ready for that????

[owlsbride]

Icha Icha and Prejudice: The Book Club

Chapter IV: That Inner Voice

Eleven o'clock in the morning and Sakura was already upset. It was her first official vacation day, and it didn't start it as she had hoped. She had planned to sleep late, wake up in the most glorious and easy possible way with the felling of a long needy rested body. After all, she had to realise that Shizune and the Hokage were right, she needed to rest for a while, she was reaching the limits of her strength, and like this, she wasn't going to last long. So even if she was still a bit mad about the resolution, she finally came to terms with it, and it was ok.

What she has not been able to imagine was that after her furious outburst in the Hokage Tower, yesterday night, she would find herself immersed in a crazy game that Kakashi planned in less than a minute just to annoy her, disturb her, and of course, tease her. Dammed, he was smart. God, she hated that man.

'Yeah, tell yourself that till you believe it.'

Suddenly, she repeated Kakashi's recent message in her mind with a highly pitchy tone. It was not her sensei's voice, though.

'Hello there, Sakura.'

So she was back. After years of silence, her bitchy inner Sakura's voice came back to torment her mind and life. She turned on the bed, sinking her head in the pillow ready to grumble, and silent a scream of fury trying to escape from her frustrating throat. Perfect timing for the remarkable comeback. Perfect timing.

After her teen years, Sakura, under the Godaime tutelage, decided that inner Sakura was no longer necessary. She was pretty capable of analysing all the facts in front of her as well as her feelings, thoughts and attitudes, she no longer needed her alter ego to push her to act in this or that way, nor to show her the right path when she was lost. Generally, the correct direction of the inner Sakura was always the wrong one, but that she had only been able to see it after her failed attempt of relationship with Sasuke or any other man in the village.

The inner Sakura was impulsive, arrogant, prejudiced, and without a doubt much more daring than Sakura herself, and that did not suit her.

So, one morning, and just like that, the work, stress and the effort to make her inner voice disappeared went straight to the trash been, cause she was loudly back.

'Don't tell me that you didn't miss me.' the voice in her head said almost sad.

"No, I didn't. Not even a tiny bit." Great, now Sakura was talking to herself out loud.

'You are harsh with both of us, Sakura'

"No, I'm not. I worked hard for you to shut up, so, please..." Sakura pleaded.

'And yet, here I am.'

"What do you want?"

'The question is, what Do You want' annoying or not, inner Sakura's question was accurate and sharp. What was what she wanted?

"Arghh... fine! If you are here to stay, I hope, at least, for you to be useful."

'I'm all yours. Now get up, girl, we have things to do.'

Sakura finally accepted that the voice was back and resolved to went through everything with her in her mind. She didn't have much of an option, cause apparently, inner Sakura was not going to disappear any time soon. It was better to have a good relationship with her mind at this moment. Three weeks off was too much to think on her own. Maybe she had called her back. Perhaps it was a coping mechanism to go through her own personal hell with Icha Icha. Inner Sakura could be much more helpful with her sharp, bold thoughts. She was a natural teaser and a skilful trickster at times. She was the not so innocent part of her mind that incited thoughts that Sakura preferred to suppress. The inner Sakura's silence was what had allowed her not to have sex in all this time, putting all her libido in her work, making her see each man who passed by the hospital as an object of study and not as a possible good laid. Except maybe for Kakashi.

Hatake Kakashi, the Rokudaime, her Lord Sixth, her eternal sensei. The very same, that when he got sick or came back injured from a mission, he just wanted to be cared for by her. The one used to listen to her ramblings every day about new ideas, supporting all her projects. The one that one way or another was always by her side. Kakashi, the man with silver hair who aroused the entire village's curiosity and sighs even though no one, not even her, knew what was under the mask. The same man who could be severe enough to carry the weight of the world on his shoulders, but who also read Icha Icha in public and even dared to flirt with her without shame or openness.

'You're so into him.' Inner Sakura spoke again suppressing a laugh.

"Oh please, It's not like that." Sakura dismissed her.

'How long are you going to live in denial, Sakura?'

"What do you mean?"

'Can't you see it for your own?'

"No..."

'Thank god I'm here then.'

Sakura stopped the conversation with her inner self because she really needed a cup o coffee first. She had spent the first hours of her morning texting with Kakashi and talking to herself, and it was already exhausting. How was she supposed to survive both of them? Passing by her living room to the kitchen, Sakura directed her view to the orange book on the table. Sooner or later, she would have to start reading. But first thing first: Breakfast.

After almost half an hour, Sakura finally was ready to face her destiny and her thoughts.

'Are you ready?' Inner Sakura was jumping all over her mind like a child in a kermesse.

"I guess..." Sakura answered nervously sitting in her couch, crouching her legs and taking the book in her hands.

'Imagine the things he had done with that book' Her mind was torturous libidinous.

"Let's just don't think about it, ok?"

'Oh, come on, don't act as if you were a virgin Sakura... Just imagine, the shower, the couch, the bed...'

"Please, don't be grossed" Sakura answered blushing deeply. Something burning was forming inside of her, and she was sure it wasn't just her chakra.

'You slut, you have already thought about that. You are so hot with him.' Inner Sakura was celebrating.

"Shut up."

Chapter I: The sunset. The light was slowly extinguishing on the cornfields making the shadows that were projected throughout the space even more orange. The summer rain's soft scent had left a persistent sweet aroma mixed with the lavenders that were only a few meters from where she was standing. The heat and humidity created a soft layer of sweat on her body, mixing her own body scent with that of her surroundings. She knew that she must have run away as soon as she saw him arriving at the village. Instead, she only could make it to the cornfield, a familiar place for both of them.

So cliche, Sakura thought with a grin on her face. She was sure that Kakashi was having it way harder than her. Though she had to recognise that even if Jiraiya didn't have Jane Austen's prose, it wasn't that bad. So far, it was an easy, perfectly innocent reading.

'Really Sakura? is that what you are thinking? A neat prose?' Inner Sakura jumped in her mind again a bit upset because up to now Sakura wasn't able to find nothing too thrilling in the first pages. Sakura didn't pay her any attention and kept reading, she was starting to relax about this whole thing of Kakashi's little obsession. It wasn't that bad.

He followed her without hesitation. He knew he would find her staring at the horizon, waiting for the night breeze to cool her feverish skin. She had always liked to feel the summer wind run across her ivory skin, bristling the hair on her arms, making her shiver. Her tousled hair floating freely, like her thoughts. He knew he would find her there, and right there, he would claim her just for himself.

Sakura sighed, the things were already starting to heat up but in a really smooth and slow path. The Sannin knew how to build tension and, what she heard Ino said once, a good slow-burn romance scenario. Inner Sakura was in silence, and she was immensely enjoying the reading. Actually, she was starting to think that she could spend the entire day at home reading. After all, it wasn't that hard.

Bzzzzzt Bzzzzt Bzzzzt

Sakura looked for her cellphone. Inner Sakura was already starting to complain about the interruption, but she suddenly stopped.

Bzzzzzt Bzzzzt Bzzzzt

18:30 H.Kakashi: Yo!

18:30 H.Kakashi: What are you doing, Sakura?

Sakura didn't know if to answer and play difficult, Inner Sakura was highly excited about those short, silly messages. Of course, Sakura answered, she had to follow the inner lead.

18:32: Hello, Sensei

18:32: Reading, you?

Sakura didn't come back to the book. She just fixed her stare in the device in her hand.

Bzzzzzt Bzzzzt Bzzzzt

18:35: H.Kakashi: And?

Kakashi wasn't going to answer her, she was sure. She would have to give him something first. She knew her sensei like the palm of her hand.

18:36: It's ok so far

Bzzzzzt Bzzzzt Bzzzzt

18:36 H.Kakashi: What?

18:36 H.Kakashi: Just ok?

18:37 H.Kakashi: Do you even know how to read, Sakura?

Sakura burst to laugh out loud in her home alone. He was such a spoiled child.

18:40: Yes Hokage Sama, it's ok, I haven't read much yet.

18:40: What about you? Working? Reading?

Bzzzzzt Bzzzzt Bzzzzt

18:41 H.Kakashi: Actually, both.

18:41: And?

Bzzzzzt Bzzzzt Bzzzzt

18:42 H.Kakashi: Work, awful, reading, quite interesting.

18:42 H.Kakashi: Tell me, Sakura, is it possible?

Sakura asked herself what was he talking about, Inner Sakura, invited to re questioned him.

18:45: What?

Bzzzzzt Bzzzzt Bzzzzt

18:46 H.Kakashi: To have five daughters and take care of all of them, in a simple civilian life, plus a wife and listen to them all the time talking without a stop

Sakura laughed again.

18:47: So... You are feeling bad for the poor Mr Benett, right?

Bzzzzzt Bzzzzt Bzzzzt

18:47 H.Kakashi: Who wouldn't...

18:48 H. Kakashi: Listen Sakura...

And for a moment he didn't say anything more.

18:55: What now?

Bzzzzzt Bzzzzt Bzzzzt

18:55 H.Kakashi: Would you like to have dinner? Unless you already have plans. We don't need to talk about the books, in fact, we don't have to talk at all

Sakura stood frozen. What was wrong with him. Even if it was just a simple text, she could read need in his words.

'Don't you dare to say no' Inner Sakura adverted, forming a fist with her imaginary hand.

19:00: Rough day?

Bzzzzzt Bzzzzt Bzzzzt

19:00 H. Kakashi: You can't imagine.

Sakura smiled.

19:01: Then you'll have to tell me.

[god-save-the-keen]

Luke Danes, the most perfect man, propmt list!

1. "Yeah, I'm fine. I'm great. It's big, fat, happy sunshine day for me."

2. "Name, are you a gigolo?"

3. "Ever worry that if a bird flies into your head it might never get out?"

4. "My life meant nothing until you used my toothbrush."

5. "Will you just stand still?" *Kiss her/him*

6. "Name, this thing we're doing here, me, you, I'm in. I am all in."

7. "And it's so good to have someone to share this hate with."

8. "Are trying to kill me?" *Losing his/her patience.*

9. "I just like to see you happy."

10. "When you make plans, then you have expectations, and when you have expectations, they… you will get disappointed."

11. "You know my father always told me that whatever does not kill you makes you stronger." "You're gonna be really strong."

12. "Have you seen Name1 or Name2?" "No, but have you tried the insane asylum, where everyone in this room is supposed to be."

13. "On the verge of blubbering here." "Not doing too well myself." "Not you, too." "I'm blubbering. You're freaks!"

14. "Name, what is it exactly that you want me to do? I'm not mad, I'm not holding a grudge, I heard your apology, I feel I'm being polite, I listened to your donut bit, I got you your coffee. What would make you happy?"

15. "Go to hell!" "Right back at ya!"

16. "You ate that?" "No, I didn't eat it!" "Oh, of course." "I'm upset not suicidal!"

17. "He's systematically buying up the town. He's gonna turn it into Nameville, where everyone will have to wear cardigans and have the same grass height!"

18. *About a messy room* "I'm having nightmares where I'm being chased by boxes with arms and they tackle me and throw clothes on top of me and secure it with masking tape and while I'm lying there, you're standing in the corner laughing putting gel in your hair!"

19. "You know what?" "What?" "This is nice."

20. "We should have eaten before we came." "Shh! And, yeah."

21. "Name1, this is Name2. She/He owns the Independence Inn." "Oh." "That's "hello, nice to meet you" in slacker."

22. "So are you going to act?" "Yes, I am. I'm going to act like you never came in here."

23. "That's it, gets upstairs and change." "Whatever you say, Uncle/Aunt Name." "It's Name. Just Name. Mister Name. In fact, don't address me at all!"

24. "You're really just gonna stand there and watch me eat a Danish?" "Cable's out. I'm starved for entertainment."

25. "Me? Raising a kid? I don't even like kids. They're always sticky like they've got jam on their hands. Even if there's no jam in the house, somehow, they've always got jam on their hands! I'm not the right guy to deal with that. I have no patience for jam hands!"

26. "That's what you want?" "Yes." "That's really what you want?" "Yes!" "You got it." "Thank you!" "You're welcome!" *As they cross over a bridge, Person1 pushes Person 2 into the water.*

27. "Can I ask you stupid questions?" "There's no such thing." *Frustrated* "How does the ink come out of pens?!" "Okay, there is such a thing."

28. "I think you can hack anything."

29. "I guess if you can find that one person, you know, who's willing to put up with all your crap and doesn't want to change you or dress you, or you know, make you eat French food, then marriage can be all right...but that's only if you find that person."

30. "Crazy people. The whole town should be medicated and put in a rec room with ping-pong tables and hand puppets."

31. "Doesn't matter what time it is. I'll always be around."

32. "I warned him/her. I warned him/her when I first met him/her, if he hurt her/him...Ah. Maybe I could key his/her car." "Better yet. Key Name1's car and tell him/her Name2 did it."

33. "Get away from me you mental patient!"

34. "Is this bothering you?" "This conversation? Yes."

35. "I hate that he/she's pleased."

36. "Hamsters can't laugh." "Oh, this one laughed - trust me."

37. "Your mother called me an idiot."

38. "C'mon, you gotta think positive here. Bright side, good thoughts. Rainbows, unicorns. *slowing down* Clowns. *Pause* Little ... cute ... *Longer pause*... furry ... *Giving up* Okay, I'm out."

39. "I can't imagine anyone seeing you as a disappointment."

40. "That's the wrong table." "Since when is there a right table?" "Since the coffee cake I baked for you and the stupid balloons I blew up for you are at that table over there."

41. "Will you marry me?" "What?!" "Just...looking for something to shut you up."

42. "This is not an herbal tea morning. This is a coffee morning." "Every morning for you is a coffee morning."

43. "It's like my life isn't even real to me, unless you're there, and you're in it, and I'm sharing it with you."

44. "I never thought in my wildest dreams that it would happen, that you and me would happen. But we did it."

45. "Don’t add stuff from your to do list to my to do list."

46. "You wanted something festive." "You made me a Santa burger." "It's not a big deal."

47. "The only way out of this life is in a body bag."

48. "Listen, I know I'm not the easiest guy/girl in the world to build a life with and to share a house with, but there is no one who will be more here for you than me. I will never leave. I will never think about leaving."

49. "You won't have to hear my opinion on anything ever again, okay?" "Oh, don't tease."

50. "The things you find amusing astound me sometimes."

51. "Wow, I feel important." "You are important."

52. "Last time you gathered up some of my stuff, you accidentally brought me four bras/brief and no pants." "That could've been intentional."

53. "God, that's terrible! It's like drinking 'My little pony'!"

54. "We kissed." "I remember." "It was a great kiss." "Yeah." "So you concur?" "Dear god, yes."

55. "All you need is six dancing penguins and Mary Poppins floating in the corner--" "--to bring back two of the worst hours of my childhood!"

56. "An ice rink? How did this happen?" "Jack Frost brought it." "Did he look like Name Lastname?" "A little. Not as handsome/gorgeous."

57. "Your slave is here." "And where's the french maid outfit?" "I've got it under the plaid."

58. "You kept this in your wallet." "Eight years."

59. *Awkwardly grabbing the another person's head* "I'm not good at hugging."

60. "I'm prepared to jump up and down if necessary."

61. "I can be a movie guy/girl. You like movies."

62. "You're watching me watch the movie. It's creepy."

63. "I shouldn't have gotten into a business that involves dealing with people."

64. "It just my favorite time of the year. The whole world changes color." "I think I'm blacking out."

65. "Keeping tabs on me?" "Always safer to know which direction the tornado's coming from "

66. "Fresh coffee will be ready in a minute unless you want to just roll up a dollar bill and go nuts."

67. "What the hell was that?"

68. "The only bright side of my day is being asked to be a prostitute." "That's something to cling to."

69. "What? Relationships? Look who you're asking."

70. "You enjoy typing to people more than talking to them?"

Use it, shared them, ask for a request, have fun! ❣️