#of course his parents might get the occasional holiday off so im sure he's not alone every year but

[doubledyke]

thinkin about edd today

[restlessfandoming]

“family holiday” (pt. 1) (chilumi fic)

[SPOILERS FROM 1.1 STORY QUESTS]

Lumine finally arrives in Snezhnaya and takes Childe’s offer of visiting his home (mansion). 

(some domestic fluff uwu) 

lots of ppl have been asking for more and i love that! tysm for the encouragement and support <3 sorry this took so long to upload, i am trying very hard for all you lovelies ;__; 

also this is being split into two parts bc it is a bit longer than my other fics...but i swear im writing part 2 as fast as i can!! i just wanted to post this now so i wouldn’t keep you lovelies waiting <3

[Fic Masterlist]

“family holiday” (pt 1)

“Lumineeeeee!” Teucer shouted as she walked through the door of Childe’s home. He tackled her into a hug. 

“Well hello to you too, Teucer,” Lumine greeted back. Just as energetic as I remembered… 

“Hey! Paimon’s here too!” Paimon crossed her arms. 

Teucer broke his hug and waved energetically at Paimon. “Hi, Lumine’s toy!”

Paimon’s jaw dropped, ready to go on a rant, but Teucer already turned his attention away. 

“Big brother!” he cheered, tackling Childe into a hug as well. 

“Teucer!” Childe said enthusiastically, picking him up and slinging the little boy over his shoulder before swinging him around. Teucer erupted into gleeful giggles. 

“Big brother? Is that you?” a soft voice called. Coming down the grand stairs was a little girl who looked exactly like Childe and Teucer, her long brown hair tied in a half-up crown braid, her large blue eyes like innocent doe eyes. She looked about eight. Behind her, another sibling came trudging down the stairs, scowling, his hair appearing more ginger than the rest of the family; his face had a splattering of freckles across his nose and cheeks, more prominent than Teucer’s. He was a bit older, around 11. 

Childe set Teucer down, and smiled. “Tonia,” he greeted her, gentler. He got down on one knee, and Tonia ran down the steps—her white dress flowing behind her—and jumped into his open arms. 

“It’s been too long!” she said, her voice muffled by Childe’s shoulder. 

He laughed. “It certainly has, princess.” He looked to the last sibling still standing by the stairs. “Come on, Anthon. Come here.”

Anthon let out an exasperate huff, but still made his way to his older brother, and joined Tonia in their embrace. “We don’t have to make such a big deal out of this,” he grumbled, though his arms tightening around his brother betrayed his attitude. 

“Looks like we’ve been sidelined,” Paimon muttered. 

Lumine tilted her head. “It’s kind of nice to see though…” 

Anthon’s eyes flickered to her. “Who are you?”

Tonia broke from the hug, ducking under Childe’s arms to look at Lumine, while still gripping tightly to his jacket. 

Teucer bounced over to the traveler, and placed his hands proudly on his hips. “Ladies and Gentlemen, this is Lumine!”

Tonia gasped and skipped over to her, her eyes bright. “Lumine?! Like from the letters?” Teucer nodded enthusiastically. 

Childe stood and rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. “Yup, the one and only. This is her first time in Snezhnaya, so everyone be on your best behavior.” He gave Anthon a look, to which Anthon crossed his arms. 

“It’s nice to finally meet you, Tonia and Anthon,” Lumine said. “Your brothers have told me a lot about you two.”

Tonia smiled shyly and peered at Lumine’s face. “Woooow,” she whispered in wonderment. “You really are just as pretty as he said!” 

Lumine felt a shock to her system. Childe told them I was pretty?

Childe let out a nervous laugh, quickly scooping Tonia off the ground and ruffling her hair. “Very funny, Tonia! Why don’t we decide on dinner plans, hmm?” 

Paimon, after grumbling in the corner about being ignored, perked straight up. “Food?”

“Let’s celebrate brother and Lumine coming home! We should go to the bestest restaurant in the city!” Teucer suggested. 

“You don’t want to eat brother’s cooking?” Tonia asked, a bit of sadness tinged in her voice. 

“I think that’s a great idea, Teucer,” Childe said. He patted Tonia’s head. “How about we eat dinner at the restaurant, then we can come home and I’ll make you your favorite cake?” 

“Yay!” Tonia cheered, jumping from Childe’s arms, and joining Teucer in celebration. 

“Anthon? What would you like to do?” Childe asked. 

He shrugged. “Whatever sounds good to me.” 

“Then it’s settled! Let’s all go get ready then, okay?” Childe said. The children all ran up the stairs, and soon the foyer was quiet once more. The Harbinger let out a heavy sigh. 

“Whew! They’re a handful!” Paimon said. 

Lumine nodded. “How do they even survive while you’re away?”

Childe chuckled. “Year round I have a dedicated staff of servants and maids to look after them and the house.” (Mansion, Lumine thought.) “I gave them the weekend off while I’m back.”

“You can handle all three of them?” Lumine asked. 

“Oh? You don’t think I’m capable?” 

“I just can’t imagine you as a child raising type,” she said, recalling their various battles together. How bloodthirsty he could get. 

“The battlefield is different,” he said, as if reading her thoughts. He glanced at the stairs. “I’ve been raising my siblings since we were little.” 

No parents? She thought of her and Aether. On their own for as long as she could remember, having to explore and learn alone. Except she and Aether were twins; she never had to look after a younger sibling—let alone three. 

“Ready!” Teucer announced, bouncing down the stairs. 

Childe crossed his arms. “Just your hat? Where are your gloves? Coat? Boots?” 

Teucer giggled. “Oops! I forgot!” He raced back up the stairs. 

“And you?” he asked, turning to Lumine. “You don’t look ready either.”

“I was okay on the journey here,” she answered. “I’m sure I’ll be fine.”

He shook his head. “It’s almost dark now. Snezhnayan nights are freezing, even more so during this time.”

“Ahh...well...we didn’t really pack...anything…,” Paimon said sheepishly. 

“Paimon I expected, but you, Lumine?” 

The traveler crossed her arms. “I’ve been a bit busy.” 

He scoffed. “Right, right. Well, we can’t have you freezing to death in the street. I’m sure there’s extra coats around here,” he said, heading up the stairs. “Come with me.”

“Oooo, Lumine, they’re probably super expensive and fluffy! Let’s go!” Paimon said, flying after Childe. Lumine rolled her eyes and followed. 

The three passed by the children’s rooms, all clothes being thrown around and excited chatter, before coming to a large door at the end of the hall. Childe’s room. He opened the door and they entered. 

It was a grand room—octangular in shape with huge windows and a tall ceiling—large, spacious, and empty save for a large bed, standing wardrobe, and side tables. There was a fine film of dusting covering all the surfaces, and the bed looked like it hadn’t been slept in for a long time. The colors were sparse, only grays, whites, blacks, and the occasional red accent. 

Childe opened the doors to the wardrobe, revealing an assortment of heavy winter coats. He pulled one out and held it out for Lumine. “I think this coat is a little older—probably the smallest one I have.” 

She put it on, the sleeves running a bit long to her fingertips, the feathered hood obscuring her face up to her nose. Childe laughed, and she stuck her tongue out at him after pulling the hood down. Despite it being old, she could still pick up a faint scent of Childe: a smell remnant of ocean waves and sandy beaches. Unexpectedly pleasant...

“If that’s too big, she can have one of my coats!” Tonia said from the doorway.  

“That is very nice of you to offer, Tonia,” Childe said. “But I think your coats might be too small.”

“Oh,” she said. “Well, we’re all ready now, brother!”

The family—plus Lumine and Paimon—gathered back in the foyer with everyone bundled in their coats, hats, and gloves. And then they were on the way to the restaurant. 

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

“Lumine, look!” Teucer said, pointing at a large pond. “There are so many fishes!”

They were waiting to be seated in the restaurant lobby. A large, grandiose building, with marbled floors, vaulted ceilings, and gold furniture. There was a large pond in the middle—a miniature waterfall flowed into it. 

Too extravagant, Lumine thought. And I thought Liyue was expensive...

“Do you think we could take some fish home to eat?” Paimon asked, peering into the pond. 

Lumine gave her a deadpan expression. “Go ahead. I’ve always wanted to see how Snezhnayans deal out punishment.”

“On second thought, nevermind…”

Tonia pulled on Childe’s jacket. “Can we go to the toy store after this?”

“Toy store! Toy store! Toy store!” Teucer chanted. 

“Yes, yes, of course,” Childe said. The two children cheered. 

“They’re always so loud,” Anthon grumbled from his seat next to Lumine. 

“They’re just excited your brother is back,” Lumine said. “Aren’t you excited also?”

“I guess…” He looked at her. “Why are you here anyways?”

How do I explain that I’m on a quest to find my brother after we were banished from our journeys by an unknown god? “I want to meet all the gods of Teyvat.”

He scoffed. “Yeah, right. That’s impossible.”

“Actually I’ve been quite successful,” she told him. “I’ve already met a few.”

“Really?” His brows were furrowed. “What’re they like?”

Venti: drunk. Zhongli: broke. “They’re...interesting. Very powerful.”

Childe walked over to them. “Is he bothering you?” he asked Lumine. 

“She was just telling me she’s met some of the gods of Teyvat. Is that true?” he asked, scrutinizing. 

“Very much so. She’s quite strong, so don’t get on her bad side.” He gave Anthon a wink. 

“Strong enough to beat you, brother?” 

“Of course,” Lumine said, standing up. “I’ve beat your brother before.” 

“Paimon can confirm that! We kicked his butt!” 

For the first time, Anthon’s eyes seemed to light up. “You did? How?”

Childe chuckled through gritted teeth, disguised as a strained smile. “Now, now, Anthon; you seem like you want me to be beaten.”

Anthon frowned. “No, I didn’t mean that.”

“Sir? Your table is ready,” a waiter said, approaching the family. 

As Childe went to wrangle up the younger kids, Lumine stayed behind and tapped on Anthon’s shoulder. 

“Hey,” she whispered. “Why do you want to beat your brother so bad?”

Anthon shook his head. “You guys have it wrong. I don’t want to beat my brother…” His pale face flushed a bit red. “I just...I want to be stronger than him. So he doesn’t have to work so hard to protect us…” He stopped and watched his siblings sit around the table in the distance. “He shouldn’t be the only one protecting us. I can see it’s really hard work for just him. I want to be strong enough to protect him, Tonia, and Teucer also.”

Lumine’s heart warmed at Anthon’s love for his family. She missed Aether a little more. “I’ll help you.” She put a gentle hand on his shoulder. “I know what it’s like, wanting to protect a sibling.” She then gave him a teasing smile. “Plus, I’ve already beaten your brother, right?” 

“Right!” He had a little smile as well. “And he’s the strongest person I know! Well...I guess that person would be you now, right?”

Tonia came marching up to the two. “Come onnnnn, let’s go eat!” She grabbed both Lumine and Anthon’s hands and dragged them to the table. 

Afterwards, the family enjoyed an exquisite meal, and were all stuffed full of expensive foods and cheerful laughter. (The children were amazed at how much both Lumine and Paimon could scarf down.) 

The children, very quickly after finishing their meal, practically teleported to the toy store. As the children ran through the store, Lumine and Childe took the moment of rest, silently watching over them. (Paimon had retreated back into her world to recover from the feast.)

“I don’t know how you do it,” Lumine said. “I had a hard enough time with just Teucer in Liyue.”

“It’s not easy,” Childe confessed. He looked at his siblings softly. “But when I see them smiling and happy...despite everything bad in the world? I think it’s all worth it.”

How nice… His love for his family definitely matched her love for Aether. Something we have in common. She found herself enjoying this time with Childe, and his family, more enjoyable than any time she had been adventuring. It was almost like...she was...back home…

Soon enough, everyone was lined up, toys all selected and ready for purchase. Teucer tiredly tugged on Lumine’s coat, then silently held his hands up. At first, Lumine blinked, not understanding. 

“Teucer, just ask her to pick you up,” Anthon said. 

“That’s okay,” she said, pulling Teucer up off the ground—now understanding—and placing him on her hip. I think this is how you carry a kid? She didn’t have much experience with kids, save for the few she had met while in Teyvat. And those kids are far from normal... She let out a little sigh of relief when Teucer relaxed, laying his head on her shoulder. 

“Are you tired too, Tonia?” Childe asked. She shook her head, tightening her grip on his hand, clutching a doll in the other. Teucer was hugging a hilichurl stuffed animal, and Anthon held an action figure of a Lawachurl.

Upon reaching the toy seller, the old woman at the counter smiled at Childe and Lumine. “You two have such beautiful children,” she said. 

Lumine almost dropped Teucer. What?! 

“Though I have to say, they do take after their father quite a bit,” she remarked. “A shame, seeing as the mother is so beautiful.” 

Before Lumine could explain, Childe spoke. “Yes, what a shame indeed—I completely agree,” he said while smiling. 

...WHAT?!

[part two]

[the-tiniest-one]

Parenting Rock Lee with Might Guy :)

Note:@xemaliahrssx here ya go! I hope it tastes just like you dreamed it would!

Sitting at the kitchen table, watching Guy and Lee devour the dinner you made, had you feeling nostalgic... You watched with your head rested on your hand. It was the little family moments that you appreciated more than anything else these days. "Yeah! and then I caught him in a cross block!" Lee said, describing their latest mission, his mouth full of food.

"Haha yes yes (y/n) you should have been there, our Rock Lee is becoming a real force to be reckoned with, much like his handsome sensei" Guy said with a wink in your direction.

"Handsome indeed" you said with a grin.

Thinking back to the days when you were a little more of a workaholic made you laugh. If you told your younger-self all those years ago that you would be Konoha's worst helicopter parent in just a few years, you'd have never believed it. Guy was a perfect match for you in that regard. You two were a well oiled machine when it came to parenting.

While Lee could do no wrong in your eyes, Guy was a bit heavy handed in his discipline of Lee's skills as a shinobi. You kissed every bruise and scrape, while Guy was teaching him how to prevent them in the first place.

Rock Lee has had more than his fair share of the short-end-of-the- shit-stick his entire life. BUT One could be forgiven for not recognizing the true level of hardship the boy has overcome in his short tenure as a shinobi. Lee is a true underdog.

Lucky for him, you've always been a bit of a sucker for an underdog.

You thought back to those early days......

Even before Lee evolved to a mini version of your childhood crush, you felt the need to protect him. Watching him fumble and practice jutsu in vain day after day.....early in the morning and into the night. You would watch him from a distance while training your own team. One early morning, you decided to check in on the boy with long black hair. He kicked at a post, counting off as you looked on...10....11.....12.....his kicks were weak even for his young age. As he got closer to 50 he fell back, overwhelmed by the pain of repetitively beating his shins into the wood without chakra to safeguard his bones.

Clearly angry at his situation, the thought occurred to you that maybe he wasn't using chakra because he couldn't....the boy had tears streaming from his eyes. It broke your heart to watch a kid who couldn't be more than 10, cursing his life.

"A kid working that hard shouldn't have to feel that defeated..." you said to yourself.

You felt conflicted. Torn between wanting to step in and takeover his training...but feeling the weight of responsibility that would come with encouraging a child to chase a pipedream that would only lead to disappointment. You knew all too well what happens to weak ninja. The reality was that it would be cruel to encourage the boy to peruse a life as dangerous as that of a shinobi. You were no slouch when it came to taijutsu but ninjas are able to compete with one another because of the advantages that come with developing kakai genki.

Could a boy with no use of chakra stand a chance against the generations of those families of ninja who use fearsome jutsu and tactics like lightning...wind....wood or even hereditary gifts like the dreaded sharingan or byakugen? The real answer was sad and harsh. No. He couldn't.

You wouldn't be so irresponsible as to tell the boy he could be anything but a failure.

If he perused that path, he would die young.

So you stood back, restraining the desire to comfort and nurture the little boy out of what you told yourself was mercy. Day after day, week after week....you watched on....until it became too much. You couldn't sleep anymore, couldn't function on missions the same way. Always thinking back to him still out at those training grounds.....always struggling.

....

One morning it was pouring rain. You called off training that day for your team and headed out to the place you knew he would be. He was there of course. He was doing his best to catch a cold while practicing hand signs to no avail. After watching him for a few minutes you finally asked, "What's your name kid?" speaking loud to project over the rain. Startled he looked up to where you stood, perched on a post a few feat away. "I...Im Rock Lee" he said timidly. You laughed at his shy but sweet face, "Im y/n" you said.

"Your kicks look like they could use some work", holding your palm about chest high, to show him where his blow should be landing. The boy grimaced...clearly angry with his lack of direction in training. You laughed and the both of you worked on his kicks for the duration of the morning.

"I think you'll be a splendid ninja someday" you said as you offered him a bit of lunch you packed. The boy looked up at you with the most heartbreaking fear in his eyes, "I can't use chakra" Lee said barley above a whisper, clearly ashamed to tell you the truth.

You ruffled his hair. "Look kid, life is shitty sometimes. But I can tell you are someone who will never quit. No matter the odds, and that is something worth more than all the talent in the world." He instantly smiled up at you, melting your heart for what would be the first of a million times. Laughing and showing you also first time you saw that shiny smile that you would come to love more that anything on earth.

From then on he was your responsibility. Your chest burned with pride in his concrete determination. Feeling instantly the protective burn and feral instinct to insulate him from anything that would hurt him.

....

It was about a year later when things evolved. You and Lee had become close. He, being an orphan as you found out he was, had taken your invitation to live in your spare bedroom. It wasn't long before you were nagging him to be sure and eat breakfast before class, take baths every night. You were often hearing your mothers voice echo in your own as you guided the child to a structure he lacked.

You even went to his parent meetings at the Academy, much to the surprise of Iruka (because he himself was 2 years older than you and had known you since you were smol) laughed when you asked to see Lee's reports.

----

Then one hot summer day you got the order... your team was dispatched on your first extended mission with your new genin. 3 months on a C rank mission to Suna. Your heart sank as you remembered Lee's graduation exam was in just a few days. Before you left, you kissed his forehead and promised a tearful Lee who had become just as attached as you over the last year, that would bring him back a graduation present.

You just knew he would finally pass.

....

Returning to the village near midnight you couldn't wait to see Lee. After giving report to Lord Third, you quickly made your way home. Quietly cracking the door to his bedroom, you peaked in to see his sweet little face. The snoring boy looked peaceful.

"He cut his hair?" you thought puzzled..."he must have done it himself, it looks a little odd." You laughed at the thought of him using a bowl to cut his hair.

Then your eyes traveled to the headband still around his forehead, "He passed!!!" you quietly celebrated, careful not to wake him up. You placed the promised gift on his dresser, a brand-new set of num-chuks you'd had made in Suna.

The next morning you were up before sunrise making a celebratory breakfast when an extreme round of knocking came from the apartment's front door.

You quickly answered, immediately flustered when on the other side was none other than Might Guy....the same Guy you'd had the hots for over a decade.

"Y/N!, I must have the wrong address! I was looking for one of my students!" Guy said in his familiar boisterous cadence. Laughing nervously you started to respond, when behind you Lee pushed his way through the doorframe. Your eyes widened at the sight.

The haircut made sense now, Lee stood side by side with his sensei. He was wearing Guy's jumpsuit... they could have been father and son.

Looking at the two of them standing side by side in front of you for the first time gave you the most jarring sense of dejavu.

"Guy sensei! Look what Y/N brought me from her most dangerous mission!" Lee brandished the weapon, beaming up at his teacher who laughed and winked in your direction. "Ah, a great choice! Only the most skilled ninja know how to use such a fine weapon! We must enlighten you at once Lee my boy!" With that the handsome jonin and your sweet Rock Lee were off to train.

You had known Guy since he was still struggling to gain entrance to the Academy, you knew that the man who radiated confidence today, only earned that ability through blood, sweat, and tears.

You apprehensively accepted that Might Guy was a good match to be Lee's sensei.

"Be careful!" you called, more than a little apprehensive at the thought of your sweet baby boy training with such an admittedly impulsive man. Feeling a small tug of sadness as you watched the two of them disappear down the street.

"Lee's getting tall..." you though as you closed the door.

....

Over the next few years Lee had grown into a strong young man. You felt such extreme pride in everything he did. Even though you being in your mid-twenties were not nearly old enough to be Lee's mother, he had taken to occasionally calling you mom.

Lee was never embarrassed of you as he grew into a teen like some of the other kids his age. He was always just as willing to give you a hug before a mission as the day you met him.

It would be a lie to say that the relationship you and Guy shared hadn't also matured along the way. Although you weren't Lee's biological parents, anyone would be forgiven for thinking that you were. Everything you had admired about Guy, his hot-bloodedness, his devotion to youthful perseverance, his love of his village had been passed down to your surrogate son.

It was only natural that you and Guy would become a team in raising Rock Lee. Over time after a few years of dinners, training sessions, birthdays, holidays etc...Guy decided to propose to you.

It was a literal dream come true. You couldn't say yes fast enough. But as required when two shinobi become married, when you went to sign the paperwork to make your marriage official, requesting a stamp of approval from Lady Tsunade....she extended to you a folder with a second set of forms.

Guy beamed as you read the contents. Adoption papers with Lee's name printed at the top in bold.

"He will always be our son. Since we are making it official... why not add one more?" Guy said with a laugh. The tears began welling in your eyes. "He's 17" you laughed, "I love you" is all you could think to say in response to the most kind gesture you have ever witnessed.

Guy held his trademark thumbs up high as he replied, "Lee will always need his mom, no matter how big he gets!" His words like music to your heart...

You'd never felt so complete as you walked hand in hand with Guy, on your way home to surprise your sweet son with the news.

Upon telling Lee what the two of you had done, he looked from the papers back to you. Confusion spread across the sweet ravenette's features. "But I do not understand" Lee said with a hand rubbing the back of his neck. "Have you not always been my mom?"

The innocent look in his eye and profound sincerity in his voice made tears well in your eyes for what felt like the tenth time that day. You laughed and swept he and Guy into a hug that didn't last long enough. "What's for dinner?" the two men asked in unison and in that moment you knew you were the luckiest person in the world.

[headheartbellarke]

HOME | Charlie Gillespie

Requested by anon:  "Hi! If request are open can you do a charlie imagine where him and the reader (she/her) met on a project a while back and have been friends for a while, but the reader kinda had a crappy home life so she gets overwhelmed by charlies family being so loving and perfect and she basically breaks down and feels like she doesn’t fit in and isn’t good enough for him? please and thank you so much, ur writing is amazing!!!"

PAIRING(s): Charlie Gillespie x fem! reader

WARNING(s): mentions of abuse, trauma, anxiety, angst, fluff

WORDS: 2,036

SUMMARY: charlie takes co-star and girlfriend y/n home for christmas but that leads to self doubt in her (im so bad at these) [note: this takes place in 2021]

    As Charlie pulls out the key from the ignition, I sigh, wringing my hands nervously. He unbuckles his seatbelt and faces me, giving me a bright, happy smile.

  “My family is so excited to meet you.” He says, reaching forward to tuck a strand of hair behind my ear.

  “What if they hate me?” I whisper.

  My boyfriend, Charlie, and I first met on the set of Charmed – we were both in the first episode, but I left it after that due to scheduling conflicts with my other show, Chilling Adventures of Sabrina. I had been a part of CAOS since its first episode – I played the role of Sabrina’s cousin, Sarah Spellman.

  Back then, we were just friends. After I left Charmed, we would text and call each other occasionally. Whenever we were in the same city, we would meet up – but that was hard considering we both had quite different lives. So, we didn’t think of each other as more than friends – sure I thought that he was attractive, but that’s it.

  But, in 2020, after CAOS was cancelled, I got a call from the casting director of Julie and The Phantoms: she was the one who had previously cast me in CAOS, and she believed that I’d be perfect for the role of Julie’s British cousin who joins her school after her parents relocate to LA – I also play Reggie’s love interest.

  I texted Charlie immediately after my manager finalized all the details for the new role. He had been excited and when shooting started in 2021, we were pretty inseparable.

  After a few weeks, I had developed a major crush on him ad the rest of the cast had also picked up on that. They were also convinced that Charlie liked me (which I didn’t believe at that time but later found out that it was, indeed, true) and they used to tease us about it all the time. Finally, a couple weeks before production ended, he asked me out on a date and it’s been really, really great so far.

  We’ve been dating for about nine months now and honestly, he’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me. He’s my home – all my life I’ve always felt lost, but I feel like I truly belong with him.

  Now, he laughs. “Baby. I promise you – they already love you. My mother’s been bugging me to bring you home ever since we started dating, and you’ve already met Megan, and she loves you.”

  “If you say so.” I say, still not convinced.

  He grins and we get out of his car and face his childhood home. I take a deep breath, shaking off my nerves. He knocks three times on the front door, and it opens immediately after.

  A petite, blonde woman steps out, with a wide smile on her face. She opens her arms as Charlie yells, “Mamacita!”

  “Mon chéri. Ça fait trop longtemps!”

  “Je vous ai manqué!”

  I have absolutely no idea what they are saying, but the scene in front of me is so heart-warming. Charlie’s mother is genuinely happy to see her son – one can tell by the way she’s holding him, almost like he’s a little child. Charlie is quite a couple inches taller than her, but he’s nestled his face into her shoulder.

  I can’t stop a grin from breaking out on my face. It’s honestly rather lovely. But I also feel a slight pang in my heart knowing that no one ever greets me like this when I go home.

  They separate from each other and she squeezes his shoulders, looking at him with so much love that I have to look away. I have never seen a mother look at their child like that, with such intense love. That’s dumb, I know. Mothers are supposed to love their children. But all my mother ever looks at me with is disappointment, anger, disgust, and – you get it.

  She notices me next and claps her hands. “You must be Y/N!”

  “Hi, Mrs. Gillespie. It’s so nice to meet you!” I extend a hand toward her.

  “Aw, come here! You’re gorgeous.”

  She pulls me in for a hug too, and for a moment I’m engulfed by the smell of white musk and the feeling of warmth.

  We pull apart and I smile at her, genuinely. All my anxiety has washed away.

  “My son is always talking about you, about how pretty you are and –”

  “Let’s go inside!” Charlie quickly cuts her off, eyes widened as I laugh.

  “But I wanna know what he says!”

  Mrs Gillespie winks at me as Charlie turns scarlet. “I’ll tell you when he’s gone.”

***

    Another roar of laughter erupts around the dinner table.

  Honestly, I’ve never seen a family like this – a family so connected, so loving. All of Charlie’s siblings – from his three older brothers to his little sister are here for Christmas Eve, and all of them are teasing each other, telling childhood stories, and just having the best time. I was, too. That was until I suddenly realized how I don’t fit in here.

  Everyone here grew up completely different than I did. When I was young, about two years old – my dad left my mom and I for another woman. I haven’t seen him since – although, he sends me a postcard and some money on holidays and birthdays. He’s travelling around the world with his new wife and is apparently ‘happier than he’s ever been.’

  The reason he left is because kids ‘freak’ him out and he isn’t ‘ready’ for that kind of responsibility. I mean, it wasn’t like he was fifteen when he had me: he was twenty-seven, and already married to my mother for about two years then.

  Naturally, my mother blames me for her divorce. I was born out of an accidental pregnancy, so my mother made sure to remind me every day that I was unwanted, and my birth was what ‘pushed’ him to leave us. Every single day, my mother told me that I shouldn’t have been born, that I was a mistake, that I was worthless, unlovable and so, so many more horrible things. She used to drink like crazy, and if I accidentally faced her in that state, she would sometimes hit me.

  Years and years of abuse and all that childhood trauma led me to develop a fear of abandonment, trust issues, intimacy issues, anxiety, and depression. Throughout school, I had been closed off, unable to form relationships and friendships with other people. I had feared anything and everything – I couldn’t even maintain eye contact with people.

  Of course, when I auditioned for CAOS and moved away to LA, away from that toxic environment, I got help and turned my life around. (My mother was incredibly happy to see me go since she had married another guy and now has a family with him – so I was the only thing left that reminded her of my father.) I learnt to accept, prioritize, and love myself – but I’m still working on that, of course.

  But, I know, deep down, no matter how well I am, or how happy I am – there will always be a part of me that’s broken. I’ve grown to accept that, accept the fact that I’ll always carry the trauma with me.

  But Charlie doesn’t. He’s lived a good life, and he deserves someone who can give him their everything – and that’s not me.

  As much as I hate to say it, I’m not good enough for him.

  He senses a change in my demeanour and squeezes my hand under the table. I give him a weak smile.

***

    “Y/N/N, what’s wrong?”

  I look up at my boyfriend. He has a look of concern on his face as he takes a seat next to me on the couch.

  I sigh into the quiet. Everyone has fallen asleep, except Charlie and I – we are seated in his living room in front of the fireplace.

  “Nothing. I’m just really tired.”

  “That’s not true, Y/N. You were fine throughout dinner – oh my god, it’s the ice cream, isn’t it?”

  “What?”

  “The pistachio ice cream that Maman made. It was weirdly bitter, eh? It’s okay, you can tell me.”

  I purse my lips. “No, Charlie. The ice cream was great.”

  “Are you sure? You’ve been down since desert.”

  “It’s not the ice cream, babe.”

  “Okay, then, what is it?”

  He looks at me expectantly, and I can sense that he’s feeling anxious.

  “I just – I realized that I don’t fit in.”

  He furrows his brows, but before he can say anything, I start speaking again. “Charlie, you have such a loving and perfect family. And you know how I grew up. What I went through. So, you know that I’m not used to this. I’m not – I’ve never seen love like this in a family, you know. And I don’t fit in here! While your mother was being so nice to me, I kept wondering when she’s going to scream at me. Or when your father was genuinely interested in me, I kept thinking that maybe he’s trying to find a way to get rid of me. It’s just – it’s just the way I grew up, and I’ll always be like this, Char. Your family is so nice, and it shocks me, honestly. And I think that maybe it’s better if you date someone who grew up the way you did, someone who’s like you. Because I have been broken my whole life, and I don’t think that I can give you everything that you need. I don’t think I’m good enough for you. You’re the best person that I’ve ever met, and I think you should be with someone who’s worthy of you.”

  I whisper the last part, and feel a teardrop fall into the space between my collarbones. I look down because I’m too afraid of what he might say.

  I hear him breathe out heavily and I feel him take my hands in his.

  “Don’t you ever say that.”

  “But it’s true –”

  “Y/N. Don’t you dare doubt yourself. You are good enough. No, you’re perfect. You’re the strongest woman I know. I completely understand why you feel what you’re feeling right now.”

  He scoots closer to me and cups my cheeks in his hands. “And it’s okay. It’s okay to feel that way. It’s okay to feel shocked. That doesn’t make you a bad person, nor does it make you not good enough. In fact, it makes all the stronger – you went through so much as a kid, and still, you have space in your heart for me. You know, I never doubt the fact that you love me, ever. Because you always make me feel special, make me feel good about myself and always make sure that I’m happy. You always go out of your way to take care of me, and you always make me feel at home. I don’t want anyone other than you. I love you so much and I never, ever wanna lose you.”

  I think I’m fully crying now, as Charlie continues, “It’s okay to feel that way. Take your time. But I’m never leaving you. You’re my person, and you’ll always fit in with me, baby. Always.”

  “Charlie…”

  I look at him properly, and I can see the pain in his eyes as a tear traces along the curve of his cheek. He sniffs, saying, “I’m sorry. I just can’t imagine being with anyone other than you.”

  “Why are you so good to me?” I whisper, my throat still tight from the emotions.

  “Because you deserve someone good, and I can only hope that I’m good for you.”

  I wrap my arms around his neck and bury my face in his shoulder as a sob escapes my body. “I’m so sorry, baby. So, so sorry.” I keep whispering that, while he rubs my back, saying ‘it’s okay.’

  “I love you so much, Charlie. Honestly, thanks for being so good to me. You have no idea what you mean to me.”

  I can feel him smile as he says, “I think I have a pretty good idea, yeah.”

***

jatp requests are open <3

[nearlymanaged]

10. Des Mots Magiques

The last few weeks of the term seemed to fly by at the speed of light before the world came to a screeching halt. Remus felt not only pleased with himself, but also proud of his three best friends for how they finished their first half of their sixth year at Hogwarts. James and Peter had been doing better than just alright in their Potions lessons, and Sirius managed to scrape up an E on their mock History of Magic exam. 

The four boys arrived at the Potters’ residence in the late afternoon on Christmas Eve. They spent the whole day playing two-a-side snow fight. James’ dad would occasionally join them, without leaving his study, by charming some snow balls to pelt whichever side was doing better at any given moment. They eventually got called back inside by James’ mum for some of the best dinners Remus had ever had the pleasure of eating - especially after exerting all his energy, trying to bring James and Sirius down.

He had been a guest of the Potters a few times before, and he always thoroughly enjoyed it. He would have never said a bad word about his own parents, but Mr. and Mrs. Potter seemed to love nothing more than caring for their son and his friends. Remus silently wondered if he could ever have such a home - full of love and laughter, instead of anxiety and quiet resentment.

He enjoyed chatting with James’ mum immensely; they would discuss topics ranging from Herbology to the ongoing war against Voldemort and his supporters. And James’ dad had such warmth about; Remus had never truly realised that dads didn’t have to be distant and strict and vague until he met Fleamont Potter.

Since Sirius now lived with the Potters, he had his own bedroom in their house, and he insisted that Remus take his bed that night.

“Your body gets wrecked enough as it is, we shouldn’t subject you to sleeping on that,” he pointed at the camping bed that Mr. Potter had set up in the room.

Remus had tried to argue but Sirius swiftly turned into a black dog on the spot, dragged a blanket off the foldout bed and onto the floor, and, after turning in circles a handful of times, curled up in the middle of it. “Thanks, Pads,” Remus had smiled at him and climbed into the empty bed.

On Christmas morning they all gathered in the sitting room to open presents and drink hot cocoa together (James had added a liberal splash of firewhiskey to each cup).

“Sirius, your hair is getting so long,” Mrs. Potter lightly brushed her hand over the top of his head as she walked past, collecting everyone’s now empty mugs.

“Yeah, I suppose it is…” Sirius tugged at a dark strand looking self-conscious all of a sudden, which didn’t happen all that often.

“It suits you, you look very handsome,” she beamed at him, effectively putting a proud grin on his face.

“I like it too,” Remus mumbled, more so to himself than anyone else.

“So what have you boys got planned for today?”

“We’re more than happy to help you cook!” Peter looked up at Mrs. Potter eagerly.

“So very sweet of you, but I’ll be quite alright. It’s your Christmas break, you should be having fun!”

“Well, actually,” Sirius got up from his chair and stretched. “I’ve been wanting to go to a record shop.”

“Great! Remus can come with you,” James grinned without skipping a beat.

“I suppose I can,” Moony agreed, albeit a little confused by James’ insistence. “What are you two going to do?”

“We’ve got...stuff, school stuff.”

“Oh really?” Mr. Potter peered at his son, but Remus never heard the rest of the conversation because Sirius grabbed his hand and dragged him out of the room, evidently extremely eager to get going.

“It might not even be open today,” Remus pointed out but proceeded to put his shoes and coat on nonetheless.

“I know how to pick locks, remember?” Sirius wiggled his eyebrows.

“That is very much illegal, remember?”

The walk to the Muggle town took about thirty chatter and laughter filled minutes, towards the end of which Sirius started complaining about being cold. Of course, that was to be expected since he was wearing a leather jacket and no gloves or scarf or hat. Just as Remus was pointing this out, they rounded a corner and saw the record shop on the other side of the street. They could hear music coming from it, but when they walked up the steps leading to the door, they saw a ‘closed’ sign. Just for good measure, Sirius rattled the handle, but it unsurprisingly didn’t budge.

They could clearly make out now that the music coming out through the open window on the side of the building was some kind of a french song. 

“What are you doing?” Remus asked slowly as he watched Sirius walk over to the window that was set in the wall just above his head, and, keeping his eyes on it, started walking backwards. 

“I’ll just take a quick peek. Maybe they’ll let us in.”

“Sirius, that’s a bit creepy,” Remus laughed, watching him jump up a couple of times before turning into a  massive dog. He could jump a lot higher as Padfoot and so when he leapt up again, he used his strong front legs to hang over the windowsill. “At least technically not illegal, I suppose…”

“Oh merde!” A surprised yelp came from inside the building. “Mais qu'est-ce que c'est?” 

A brown haired boy, probably around their age, poked his head out the same window; after glancing around quickly, his eyes fell upon Remus. “Is this your puppy?” He asked squarely, a noticeable accent clinging to each word - French, Remus was sure.

“Er, yeah…” He pulled his lips into a smile, wondering how Sirius liked being referred to as a puppy.

The answer to that came in a loud, angry growl when the stranger tried to pet the dog. Then, Sirius leapt down to the ground and, having no choice at this point, sat down next to Remus looking rather like an obedient pet.

“Not very friendly? But ‘e has good taste in music.”

“Apparently so. We uh, didn’t mean to bother. Didn’t realise the shop would be closed.”

“Ah you are not bothering me. Come in...” The boy disappeared and seconds later opened the front door. “Please.”

Remus glanced down at Sirius, barely able to contain an amused smile, and gave him an almost imperceptible shrug before walking over to the boy. “Is it alright if my puppy comes in?”

“Of course. I don’t think my uncle would be pleased but ‘e is not ‘ere.”

“Does your uncle own this place then?” Remus asked, brushing his fingertips against the covers of records as we walked deeper into the shop, followed by Padfoot.

“Yes. I am only ‘ere for the ‘olidays. My parents think it would be charmant to spend Christmas in the English countryside. But I think it is so boring ‘ere. I only like this shop,” the boy motioned around as he stopped in front of a record player. “Do you know this song?”

“No, I don’t think I’ve ever heard it…” Remus mumbled.

“I must play it for you from the beginning then!” And with that, the boy lifted the needle of the player and repositioned it at the edge of the vinyl disc. “It is a well known love song in France,” he added before lowering the needle again, allowing the music to fill the air.

The song was beautiful, Remus had to admit, even though he had no idea what they were singing about. He liked the sound of a beautiful language that seemed like it possessed magic beyond anything he’d ever learnt at Hogwarts. That night when Sirius was speaking French, talking him to sleep, Remus thought his heart was going to explode. He had listened to the hypnotising crooning of his voice, dreaming up images in his head of the words he was hearing were those of professing love. Of course, he was sure, Sirius was probably talking about how boring that week’s History of Magic lesson had been or something just as mundane. But he felt like he could have curled up in his voice all the same and spent a hundred years lying there, on that sofa, so close to him.

The boy wasn’t saying anything so Remus started pacing down the rows of boxes full of records, getting lost in the memory that the song had brought back in his mind. Sirius was striding alongside him the whole time, up until the song ended.

“‘E is comparing ‘is lover with the wind and smell of roses,” the boy spoke again right behind Remus, who hadn’t noticed him come up and flinched slightly. “‘E is saying that she is a beautiful love story, that ‘e will not stop reading it.”

“That’s...very poetic,” Remus blurted, feeling a bit out of the water discussing the topic. “What is she saying?”

“She says, it’s all just words. She does not believe ‘im anymore. She thinks it is only sweet, euh...fragile words.”

“So it’s a sad song?” 

“Yes and no. Is it better to have passion that is very short and go away, or is it better to never have it at all?” Again, Remus didn’t really know how to answer such a question, and posed by a stranger no less, all while Sirius was listening to them. “You are turning red,” the boy stated to add to it all. “British boys are so shy sometimes, I have noticed this.” A strange smirk played on his lips.

“You ask complicated questions, I suppose,” Remus answered, growing a little annoyed by the boy's obvious enjoyment in making him feel uneasy.

“Red suits you. I am called Vincent,” he turned around on his heel and strode over to the record player before glancing over his shoulder. “What is your name?”

“Remus,” Moony shoved his hands in his pockets and cast a glance at the black dog who was starting to squeal and whine a little.

“Remus… I like it. Do you live here, Remus? I’ve never seen you.”

“No, I’m just visiting for the holidays as well.”

“Ah, I see. ‘Ow long will you be ‘ere?”

“For another week or so.”

“Were you looking for something specific? To buy?” Vincent casually changed the topic, again.

“Er, not really. Just wanted to browse around, I guess.”

“Then what should I play now?”

Remus looked at Sirius out of the corner of his eyes, hoping he’d indicate to him somehow which record he wanted to hear; instead, he was peering at Vincent with unyelding intensity, almost glaring, if his canine snout allowed for such expression.

“H-how about Velvet Underground? Do you know them?” Remus looked over at Vincent from across the shop.

“I do not think so.” Regardless, he strode over to the box labelled ‘V’ and pulled out a record. “You can come closer, I will not bite,” he uttered once he stood in front of the player again.

“I might,” Remus mumbled without thinking as he shuffled deeper into the shop again.

Vincent lifted his face as the first notes of Sunday Morning filled the room; there was that same peculiar smile etched in his features. “Who are you visiting for the ‘olidays? Not a girlfriend--” his breath caught, eyes gleaming, before he added, “or a boyfriend?”

“No, just a friend and his family…” Remus answered, wondering if it was the language barrier that made the whole interaction so strange. “So how long will you be staying here for?” He asked, more out of politeness than anything else.

“Two weeks. Maybe this trip will not be so boring in the end?”

“Yeah, maybe,” Remus shrugged with a small smile, not really understanding what the boy meant.

Sirius seemed to be eager to get out of there, his whining growing ever louder, but Remus didn’t want to seem rude and walk out right then, when Vincent had just put on the record for them. He shot Sirius a quick, somewhat exasperated look and turned back to the French boy. “What do you think? Bit different than your music, isn’t it?”

“Yes, it is very different. Is this your favourite artist?” He looked vaguely put off.

“Not really. I like a little bit of everything.”

“Ah, I see. I like the first song more. ‘E sounds, I don’t know… ‘ow do you say? Aggressive maybe, no?”

“I suppose Lou Reed doesn’t have the most pleasant voice…” Remus laughed a little, bobbing his head.

“Your puppy doesn’t like it?” Vincent looked over at Padfoot who, for all the boy knew, was agitated by the music.

“Oh, he likes it alright.”

There was a pause that stretched while the song went on; an awkward pause, Remus felt, as his smiling eyes kept wandering from Vincent to Padfoot, to boxes of records, to the player. He started wondering if maybe the boy was growing bored, maybe he regretted letting them in, maybe it was time to leave...

“How did you get these scars?” Vincent spoke softly, yet unexpectedly, and lifted his hand, as if intending to touch a long-healed mark on the side of Remus’ face; instead, his fingers hovered inches from Moony’s’ skin before he retracted them.

“Er…I-- It’s...” Moony stumbled over his words, surprised by the bluntness.

“Forgive me, I did not want to offend,” the boy pressed both hands to his chest; now it was him who seemed to be blushing. “I think they are beautiful.”

“You...what?”

The boy let out a small giggle. “They look very unique...in a good way. I think they make you more ‘andsome.”

Remus felt his ears get hot as he stared at the boy; it was as though he only now took a good look at him since he had entered the shop. Vincent was shorter than him, probably a little shorter than Sirius. He had brown hair and eyes that were so dark, they almost appeared black. He had perfectly straight teeth and a tanned glow to his skin, even in the middle of winter.

Before Remus could respond, Sirius bounded across the length of the shop and put his giant frown paws on his shoulder, nudging Vincent out of the way as he did so. 

“‘E is very funny dog!” The boy chuckled.  

“He is…” Remus pushed the dog off himself; Padfoot wasn’t relenting, however - he snatched the sleeve of his coat and started tugging at it, slowly inching backwards, towards the door. Remus wasn’t sure if he wanted to leave now. He was overcome by a kind of curiosity - this French boy seemed to be flirting with him. “I er...I think I ought to get going,” he breathed out, trying to shake Sirius off. “Thank you for...er, thank you.”

He felt a rush of excitement as the boy gave him a rather disappointed smile. Remus had become so wrapped up in his feelings for Sirius that he was taken aback by how nice it felt to have this stranger notice him, how flattered he was by it.

Just then, Vincent took Remus’ hand in his. “Come back again before you leave, Remus?”

“I-- I’ll try,” he beamed at the boy before giving in to Sirius and getting dragged outside.

Sirius didn’t waste any time before turning back into his human self, which Remus found a bit reckless, considering the boy might have been looking out the door or one of the windows.

“Well that was a drag,” he folded his arms over his chest as they started walking back the same way they had come. “What a pretentious little git.”

“I think he was alright…”

“Zis is a song about love, eet is not aggressive but full of passion. But you wouldn’t know anything about eet, British boys are so pudibond,” Sirius did a cruel yet rather accurate impression and rolled his eyes. “Fils de pute prétentieux.”

Remus gaped at him, his whole upper body turned towards Sirius. “The fleas bothering you again, aren’t they? I’m telling you, we can get rid of them very easily,” he let out a melodious chuckle but Sirius merely pouted, hugging himself tighter.

[mysmedrabbles]

RFA Reacting to a Muslim MC

requested: twice by the same anon :P

a/n: note that I am not a muslim nor am i a hijabi, so if i get a detail wrong, im super sorry and please pLEAse let me know so it can be fixed!! :D this was really interesting to write, enjoy!! 

would you like to support this Muslim MC? want more specific WoC MC’s? buy me a coffee to support my dangerous coffee addiction so i can do em for ya!

warnings: n/a

-hyped mod alex

Jumin

-his strong faith in Christianity was admirable, his ideals set in stone as he abided by them; but of course there was the smallest bit of apprehension in getting to know him, how would he react to someone with ideals different than his?

-he was never one to announce his faith publicly, he still isn’t, however he likes taking with you about your respective religions, sitting on the balcony of his penthouse taking in the cool night air,,, wine for him and Aryana’s Halal Cola shipped all the way from Montreal for you

-orders you the finest hijabs for you to wear, most of them custom made exactly the way you love them, elegant and refined. he also learns the level of modesty you tend to wear your clothes, buying you occasional stunning gala outfit that he knows you’ll both love and feel comfortable with

-you own the most stunning abayas

-absolutely takes you with him on his trips to the middle east. he’s an avid believer in learning about your own roots, and especially if you have family there, he’ll more than certainly take you, going together to see all the sights, take private tours of museums and enjoy life

-makes Chef learn specific halal recipes, and is more than willing to import any food you want from other countries that you cant get in Korea

-learns Arabic in about a year flat,, of course his Korean accent hits heavily, but its so sweet hearing him carefully pronounce sentences to your parents and or relatives

-on eid al-adha he’s aware of the old tradition to sacrifice animals and share with the poor, needy and family; so as a compromise he decides to donate 300 lbs of meat to various homeless shelters and soup kitchens. both you and him going down to help with transport, hand every box to the people, a sort of community service combined with observing a time old tradition.

-comes down with you to the night prayer at the mosque during ramadan, and even though he stays near the entrance and the garden out front, hearing the prayers coming from the inside and seeing all the people that you know and love around you, smiling and having a good time, it makes him happy

Jaehee

-she grew up catholic, lives catholic; but this isn’t to say she’s close-minded to other religions,, she always loves learning more, especially if its about you, who she loves with all her heart

-when youre cuddling, she likes fiddling with the edge of your hijab, just feeling the material and knowing you’re there makes any day of hers better, no matter how hard it may have been

-you being muslim doesn’t have much of an impact, she’s respectful to your beliefs, and even puts in halal foods in the cafe

-this is, of course, after months of her experimenting with different recipes, often finding her in the kitchen at midnight, flour on her face and apron dirtied, sleeves rolled up in a frenzy as she mutters under her breath 

-shes so proud to finally present the finished deserts and foods to you!!

-one time you used one of her woven silk scarves as a makeshift hijab when all of yours were in the wash and she almost cries seeing how pretty you are in her stuff (the scarf is yours now)

-always interested in your religion, and she likes learning the differences between the traditions she was raised with and the ones you were

-during Ramadan, the two of you keep the shop open later for anyone wanting to eat after the sun has set, figuring that no one had to break their fast alone if they didn’t want to

-she gets up very early to prepare Suhoor for you in the morning, a simple oatmeal with dates, blueberries, grapes, almonds and honey

-likes to read her own books aside you while you read the Quran and do your morning prayer, its often the most peaceful part of your day, just having a clean and quiet space as you both enjoy each others company while also doing your own morning routines

Yoosung

-sweet boy, he knows very little of,, well any religion to be honest, and outside of 10th grade history, his knowledge on Islam as a whole is quite limited

-always asking questions about your traditions

-he reads the Quran at some point, wanting to understand you better,, and even though it takes him a long time (mostly due to having to re-read the passages over and over again to understand what was going on), but he’s devoted to learning about your culture

-he drives/walks you to the mosque, but doesn’t leave,, he’s not sure if he can go in, so instead he opts to walk around the area, enjoying the park and waiting for you to come back out so you can walk/drive back together

-he learns so many recipes specifically for you everything from mawmenye, harira, and moroccan krsa to berber bread

-he loves spending time with your family, he loves the sense of community and the celebrations that take place in your household, specifically during religious holidays

-he legitimately cries when you eventually decide to go to Mecca, leaving for hajj, because he knows he cant be with you for around a week and a half,, he can’t help it, he’s so sad he won't be able to see you for more than a week

-he’s so used to stopping all gaming and quieting down devices during salah, that even when you’re not around he still stops for five minutes at the designated times, mostly out of habit, but it also serves as a break from working, studying or gaming

-Lisa,, lisa loves your prayer mat, always trying to knock it down from its rolled up position next to the couch and sleep on it, so instead yoosung buys her a smaller prayer rug to lay on and its the cutest thing you've ever seen

Seven

-although he’s always been the one to mention his own faith in Catholicism, he’s also the one to be most curious about other faiths.

-he likes hearing you talk about the way you grew up, specifically hearing you talk about Islam and asking questions about traditions and practices you have to do

- “wait y/n!!,,, are honey buddha chips halal???”

-if theyre not, he opts to buy pringles in bulk instead. hes going to binge eat chips and damnit he wants you to join him!!! 

-when it comes time for you to perform Salah, he makes sure that you have total peace, even stopping his typing for the duration, letting you connect fully with Allah and your spirit

-since theres little to no sunlight that appears in the bunker, he makes a simple little app that alerts you when the times of prayer come, pre-dawn, noon, afternoon, sunset, and night, using the bells that are primarily heard in mosques as the ringtone for the app

-if anyone dares to mess with you or insult you in any way, Defender of Justice 707 will send a nasty virus their way, because theres no way anyone is getting away with hurting his angel

-its canon that he knows Arabic, and often times, when you can’t go to sleep he’ll sing to you in the language, and although his singing isn't the best, focusing on the strength and passion in his words, the almost comforting way he sings, it sends you calmly to sleep

Zen

-incredibly respectful of your religion and the fact that you’re Muslim

-he sets himself to learn everything he can about your faith and things he might have to change or alter in his own life to be respectful of the way you live yours

-he cuts down on alcohol. a lot.

-this isn’t to say he stops drinking altogether but he certainly cuts down, only having a beer or two in the fridge for emergencies

-bursts in one day, phone in hand as he wheezes, leaning on the couch for support, “y/n ArE wE hALaL dATiNg Or?”

-if you believe that sex should be saved to be only after marriage, he respects that, if not,, well he respects that too

-WILL spend extra money on an abaya from serenity scarves as a gift, just for you being you

-his only goal is to make you as comfortable as you can be, and he Will Not Stand for islamophobic comments directed towards you, but in most cases he won't even let them reach you, cutting off interviewers before they can say anything with a stream of gushing about how perfect you are, and smoothly taking you to the other side of the room if he thinks someone is looking at you, shooting them a mean glare before looking back at you and smiling, whispering something to make you laugh as you guys walk away hand in hand

-respect is this mans middle name, he’ll meet your family the second you start officially dating, making sure to make a good first impression, the second, and third, and fourth impressions

-likes going shopping with you, and is constantly in awe of how stunning you can make anything look, going to the little middle eastern kiosk in the mall to buy food

-he’s such a shameless fan of those cute matching couples outfits, and his heart bursts everytime your hijab matches the colour or pattern of his shirt or jacket

[incorrectchoniberonicaswangs]

hey baby won't you look my way (i can be your new addiction)

Chapter 7: gays you ever just ahsnfdjsl?? part 1

Chapter Summary: Holiday parties are planned, Cheryl and Toni are Kevin's sapphic moms, an intervention is held, Alice and Hermione are adorable and everyone loves them, Kangs has some news, and Sweet Pea runs away from his problems.

Notes: theMANtle: reggie

ao3

Friday, 3:17 PM

gays united

hbicheryl: its winter break!! finally a respite from the chaos!!

jugheadalones: im so excited!

hbicheryl: hold up, hobo is excited about something??

hisshissmotherfucker: ^^ jones are you sick

jugheadalones: okay, first of all fuck you

jugheadalones: second of all im excited to return to the near-comatose state i maintain every time we have a long period of time off from school

nopeaz: that makes more sense

veroffica: as enjoyable as that likely is to you, holden caulfield, it won't be happening this break. i'm hosting a christmas eve party at the pembrooke starting at 8:00 pm and you are all invited.

veroffica: and you'd better all show up, or else i'll sic my new bodyguard on you.

goingtoheller: i assume you mean betty.

wannabett: guilty :/

spillthefogarTEA: ill be there. and NOT because of your threats

spillthefogarTEA: even though betty is kind of intimidating

goingtoheller: i'll come as well.

nopeaz: cher and ill come too

hisshissmotherfucker: i love parties im there

jugheadalones: i dont suppose i really have a choice do i?

wannabett: not really. sorry jug

jugheadalones: fine.

hbicheryl: speaking of holiday parties

hbicheryl: new years eve party, thistlehouse, time tbd, if you arent there youre dead to me

veroffica: b and i will be there.

spillthefogarTEA: me too

goingtoheller: i'll be there.

hisshissmotherfucker: i hear cheryls parties are infamously dramatic

hisshissmotherfucker: so im definitely coming

hisshissmotherfucker: as long as i dont end up doing seven minutes in heaven with archie like veronica

veroffica: will nobody ever let me forget that??

hisshissmotherfucker: nope

jugheadalones: why do all these party invites come with threats of retribution if you dont attend?

hbicheryl: bc if there wasnt then youd never come

jugheadalones: ill come. begrudgingly.

nopeaz: and ofc ill be there obviously

jugheadalones: wait am i missing something? why is that obvious?

hbicheryl: oh right we didnt tell you lol

hbicheryl: tt moved in with me

goingtoheller: WHAT??

goingtoheller: my sapphic moms moved in together aND I HAD NO FUCKING IDEA??

hisshissmotherfucker: why is keller suddenly chonis kid when did this happen??

hbicheryl: please kevin is basically toni and i's love child

hbicheryl: he has my sass (well not as good as mine but hes trying), my gayness, and my strange desire for dumbass serpents

nopeaz: and my propensity for saying 'this is riveting i cant breathe'

goingtoheller: aw, thanks, moms! mostly! :)

nopeaz: no problem son

hbicheryl: yes we are very proud of you kev (mostly)

jugheadalones: huh i never actually thought about it but that... works?

wannabett: okay cheryl and toni are like the least qualified people here to be anyones lesbian moms?? theyre literally gang members??

hbicheryl: stfu nightmare smurfette do not EVER criticize my parenting skills

hbicheryl: toni and i have slaved for weeks, even MONTHS to make sure that kevin turns into a proper young gay man

hbicheryl: and you have the AUDACITY to suggest that just because my gf and i are deeply flawed people we would corrupt poor kevin??

wannabett: uh... no?

hbicheryl: thats what i thought

nopeaz: wow angry cheryl is scary but hot

spillthefogarTEA: topaz, you are so whipped

spillthefogarTEA: and REALLY fucking gay

nopeaz: yeah ik

jugheadalones: moving on

jugheadalones: speaking of people taking a big step and deciding to live with each other... betty and veronica, we need to talk.

veroffica: um... what?

veroffica: is this some sort of intervention?

hisshissmotherfucker: yes

spillthefogarTEA: moving in together might be considered friendly if, say, betty didnt already have a house that she lives in

nopeaz: but this decision is beyond simple friendship

hbicheryl: and its certainly anything but heterosexual

wannabett: why are you guys finishing each others sentences?? did you plan this??

hisshissmotherfucker: no shit sherlock

veroffica: how do you guys even have this information??

goingtoheller: we have our ways.

wannabett: archie somehow saw our texts through my window

wannabett: jughead told me last night, sorry i didnt tell you v, i didnt know that this was going to happen

nopeaz: dammit jones why do you have to ruin all our fun!!

jugheadalones: i didnt realize that this was a rule?

jugheadalones: so anyway

jugheadalones: b&v, now that you have been confronted with cold hard proof of your undying love for each other, what do you have to say for yourselves?

wannabett: guys im straight!!

goingtoheller: ooh, betty's pulling the straight card.

hbicheryl: i called it! tt, sp, fangs, and jughead, you all owe me $10

hbicheryl: cousin betty is nothing if not predictable in the face of her sexuality being questioned

veroffica: hey, you made bets on this?? not cool!

wannabett: ^^^^

wannabett: and i am NOT predictable!!

hbicheryl: i predicted she was going to say that

hbicheryl: thats another $10 guys

hisshissmotherfucker: for once i trusted in someones willingness to admit when they were wrong and now because of that cheryl is robbing us blind! smh never again

spillthefogarTEA: veronica? you never answered the question

veroffica: uh...

veroffica: i mean, um...

veroffica: we've never even kissed! i'm pretty sure we aren't dating!

nopeaz: to be fair though i wouldnt be surprised if you two were dating without knowing it

veroffica: guys, now really isn't a good time.

jugheadalones: mmmhmm

wannabett: no seriously v and i are getting ready for the christmas eve party

wannabett: its in three days remember

hbicheryl: ugh fine i suppose thats a reasonable explanation

veroffica: and since i know that you won't let this go, at the party you can ask us whatever you want about this.

goingtoheller: wait... for real?

wannabett: uh yeah really v??

veroffica: within reason, of course.

spillthefogarTEA: wow this is more than i expected to come from this

veroffica: one condition, though. you can't pester b and i about it before the party.

veroffica: deal?

hisshissmotherfucker: deal

wannabett: now that thats settled v and i are going to get to work

veroffica: we'll probably be off the grid until maybe a few hours before the party.

[wannabett is offline]

[veroffica is offline]

hbicheryl: toni and i are already headed over to pops, anyone want to join us?

jugheadalones: wont we just be three-wheeling?

hbicheryl: not if we are in a large group

hisshissmotherfucker: ill come if you come jones

jugheadalones: sure.

hisshissmotherfucker: ill be there in five

[hisshissmotherfucker is offline]

jugheadalones: kevin, fangs?

spillthefogarTEA: im good

goingtoheller: ^^

nopeaz: okay otw

[nopeaz is offline]

[hbicheryl is offline]

jugheadalones: leaving now

[jugheadalones is offline]

6:35 PM

nopeaz: GUYS YOULL NEVER BELIEVE WHO JUST WALKED IN

spillthefogarTEA: who is it??

spillthefogarTEA: tell me you know im not good with suspense!!

jugheadalones: its alice cooper and hermione lodge!

hisshissmotherfucker: it seems as though archies intel was correct again

hisshissmotherfucker: damn that omniscient fucking northsider

hbicheryl: now i really wish that betty and veronica werent offline so they could hear about this

goingtoheller: why? do you hate them?

hbicheryl: hate is a strong word

hbicheryl: id say that i just occasionally want them to suffer

goingtoheller: that isn't much better...

hbicheryl: i guess ill just have to wait until the party to tell them

nopeaz: okay so they just got a booth and its basically diagonal from ours

jugheadalones: but theyre so enamoured with each other i dont think they even noticed that were here

hbicheryl: wow i dont think ive ever seen aunt alice this happy before

spillthefogarTEA: ugh this sounds so adorable i wish i was there

hisshissmotherfucker: dont worry well narrate their every movement so well itll be like you are

nopeaz: oh shit they keep reaching for each other like every five seconds

spillthefogarTEA: im WEAK

jugheadalones: its so hard to believe that they ever hated each other with the way theyre acting now

jugheadalones: homophobia can really fuck shit up huh

goingtoheller: this is the couple i never knew i needed, but now that i have seen that it's possible, i'm in love.

hisshissmotherfucker: im in shock i cant believe that the same alice cooper that grounded her daughter from any and all contact with the outside world is now just essentially the personification of heart eyes

hbicheryl: this town is so small were all basically inbred

hbicheryl: next thing you know fp and fred are going to be fucking too

jugheadalones: okay i did NOT need that image

nopeaz: AHHHH THEY WENT IN FOR A KISS MAYDAY MAYDAY THIS IS NOT A DRILL

spillthefogarTEA: AHHHHH

goingtoheller: AHHHHHHH

nopeaz: AHHHHHHH

jugheadalones: even i, being asexual and aromantic, have to admit that im loving living vicariously through these two

hisshissmotherfucker: k so they stopped

hisshissmotherfucker: wait no theyre kissing again!

hisshissmotherfucker: and again!

hisshissmotherfucker: and again!

hisshissmotherfucker: okay now theyre just making out

nopeaz: get it girl(s)

hbicheryl: its getting pretty heated

hbicheryl: it feels like the windows are going to start fogging up

jugheadalones: oh damn they stopped

jugheadalones: ms cooper is waving pop over now

goingtoheller: is it creepy that we're so invested in their date?

spillthefogarTEA: probably not

hisshissmotherfucker: nah

jugheadalones: lets go with no

nopeaz: nope

hbicheryl: its only creepy if we get turned on

goingtoheller: moving on... what's happening now??

nopeaz: they got the check and now theyre paying

nopeaz: they can barely keep their hands off of each other

nopeaz: now theyre leaving

nopeaz: should i follow them to keep narrating?

goingtoheller: won't they notice??

jugheadalones: no theyve only got eyes for each other

jugheadalones: follow them SUBTLY while we hold down the table

nopeaz: roger that

hbicheryl: youre such a nerd

nopeaz: you love it

hbicheryl: duh

hbicheryl: now follow them!!

nopeaz: already doing it

nopeaz: so they made it to their car

nopeaz: okay wow wasnt expecting that but im not complaining

spillthefogarTEA: whats happening???

nopeaz: alice just shoved hermione up against the car door and now theyre hardcore making out

nopeaz: damn i wonder if theyre even going to get home or if theyre just going to do it in the parking lot

hisshissmotherfucker: i cant believe alice cooper and mayor lodge BOTH have better sex lives than i do wtf

goingtoheller: who knew that hermione lodge was such a bottom??

hbicheryl: well you know what they say about people in positions of power

hbicheryl: top in the streets bottom in the sheets

jugheadalones: wait cheryl that could apply to you as well

spillthefogarTEA: ooh is the class president getting the strap from the vice president

nopeaz: fuck off fangs

nopeaz: okay so they finally managed to regain some semblance of control

nopeaz: aaaaand theyre driving away

nopeaz: shows over folks

hbicheryl: lets clear out men

nopeaz: meet me by the bike cher

hbicheryl: be there in a sec babe xx

jugheadalones: wait are you telling me that cheryl blossom rode a motorcycle??

hisshissmotherfucker: yeah red i thought you said they were death traps

hbicheryl: well yeah but that was before i got on it

hbicheryl: its like a giant vibrator

hbicheryl: and riding it with toni is basically just the most acceptable type of public sex

goingtoheller: gross.

hisshissmotherfucker: never thought id agree with keller but yeah tmi

nopeaz: whatever

nopeaz: bye fuckers see you all at veronicas party

[nopeaz is offline]

[hbicheryl is offline]

jugheadalones: im headed out too

[jugheadalones is offline]

hisshissmotherfucker: me too

[hisshissmotherfucker is offline]

Monday, 6:43 PM

wannabett: b&v are back bitches!!

veroffica: and, looking through the chat from the past few days... i'm glad i was gone.

wannabett: although now i know what 'hot date' my mom was talking about :/

wannabett: even though i never wanted to know

wannabett: some things are best kept secret especially when your mom goes out on a date with your best friends mom!!

hbicheryl: youre welcome :)

veroffica: cheryl, at this very moment, i simultaneously respect, despise, and fear you.

hbicheryl: aw thanks thats what im always going for!

veroffica: anyway, the party will be starting in an hour or so, but some of my relatives will be over in the meantime. if you've got anything to say that doesn't involve the date my mom and betty's mom have, feel free. if you don't, go to hell.

hisshissmotherfucker: hey im in the neighborhood and i dont have anything else to do would you mind if i came over now

veroffica: sure thing!

hisshissmotherfucker: are you sure your relatives will be fine with me being there?

veroffica: yeah. i mean, betty's here too anyway!

hisshissmotherfucker: k

6:48 PM

goingtoheller + veroffica

goingtoheller: hey, would you happen to have some time you could set away during the party? fangs and i have an announcement we'd like to make.

veroffica: sure thing, kev. how does around 10 sound?

goingtoheller: perfect. thanks, v!

veroffica: no problem.

7:22 PM

gays united

hisshissmotherfucker: rn betty looks like she cant decide whether to be a guard dog or an excited puppy lmao

jugheadalones: context?

hisshissmotherfucker: veronicas greeting her relatives and bettys following her so closely shes practically stepping on her heels

goingtoheller: well, v is definitely holding betty's leash.

nopeaz: yeah veronicas got her by the collar

spillthefogarTEA: if betty doesnt watch her step then shes really going to be in the doghouse

wannabett: stop with the dog puns!! i am not a dog!!

hbicheryl: okay but you have to admit those were pretty good

wannabett: i will admit no such thing! now if youll excuse me im going to go back to talking to ronnies relatives with her

[wannabett is offline]

hisshissmotherfucker: i guess ill keep you all informed on their gay shenanigans

nopeaz: who even says shenanigans anymore??

hisshissmotherfucker: uh i do fight me

nopeaz: square up bitch

hbicheryl: if i had a dollar for every time tt and sp said that they were going to fight i would have enough money to rebuild thornhill

goingtoheller: cheryl, you're the one who burned it down in the first place.

hbicheryl: yes and??

goingtoheller: ...nevermind.

hisshissmotherfucker: im snoRTING

jugheadalones: what happened?

hisshissmotherfucker: so veronica was talking to one of her relatives right

hisshissmotherfucker: and the relative asks her if she has a boyfriend

hisshissmotherfucker: veronica laughs a little and says no so her relative looks at betty whos still trailing behind her like a shadow

hisshissmotherfucker: and knowingly says "oh i see, a girlfriend"

spillthefogarTEA: ajklfshagak i cant even

hisshissmotherfucker: both of them are sputtering uncontrollably unable to formulate a response im dying

hbicheryl: ahahah it was only a matter of time before something like this happened but im really glad it did

nopeaz: i mean relatives are supposed to know you better than anyone else right?

jugheadalones: oh b&v you oblivious wlw

goingtoheller: we're never letting them let this down, are we?

spillthefogarTEA: not a chance

hisshissmotherfucker: IT GOT BETTER

hisshissmotherfucker: veronica finally managed to speak and she (unconvincingly) insisted that she and betty were just friends etc etc and her relative just raised her eyebrows and went "mmhm"

nopeaz: drag themmmmm

hbicheryl: omg we stan

hisshissmotherfucker: im trying to stifle my laughter bc betty and veronica look like they want to murder me

hisshissmotherfucker: but you know what screw it its worth it

hisshissmotherfucker: oh shit bettys coming over here and she looks pissed

hisshissmotherfucker: hello punks, this is betty. i hope youve had your fun listening to sweet pea narrate everything but now im taking his phone and wont be giving it back until the party starts

[hisshissmotherfucker is offline]

jugheadalones: awww

goingtoheller: at least the party starts soon anyway. then, i'm sure we'll get even more beronica fodder.

jugheadalones: true

hbicheryl: see you then losers

spillthefogarTEA: back at ya cheryl

7:48 PM

nopeaz: cher and i are on our way

goingtoheller: fangs and i are leaving now.

jugheadalones: and im at your door at this very moment

jugheadalones: let me in

jugheadalones: okay great im in

hisshissmotherfucker: and i just got my phone back

hisshissmotherfucker: i will not stand for this tyranny! this is a republic not a monarchy!

wannabett: keep it up and im taking your phone back

hisshissmotherfucker: the oppression continues...

wannabett: sweet pea...

hisshissmotherfucker: fine

[hisshissmotherfucker is offline]

veroffica: now, let's get this party started!

10:03 PM

spillthefogarTEA: hey guys i know this is fun and exciting and all but would you mind congregating out in the living room? ive got some news

hisshissmotherfucker: anything for my best bro

jugheadalones: sure thing

10:07 PM

hisshissmotherfucker + theMANtle

hisshissmotherfucker: hey mantle are you free rn

theMANtle: yeah, you want me to come over to your trailer?

hisshissmotherfucker: yep im on my way there too

hisshissmotherfucker: see you in ten?

theMANtle: none of your friends will be there, right?

hisshissmotherfucker: nah theyre all still at veronicas party they wont even notice that im gone

theMANtle: not that im complaining, but why arent you?

hisshissmotherfucker: i needed a break

theMANtle: so you were hoping that i could help you blow off some steam? ;)

hisshissmotherfucker: that was the general idea

theMANtle: youre in luck, then. i currently have a lot of free time and what many call an impressive amount of stamina.

hisshissmotherfucker: perfect

[hisshissmotherfucker is offline]

10:15 PM

gays united

spillthefogarTEA: hey has anyone seen sweet pea? i could have sworn that i saw him before kevin and i made our announcement but now i cant find him anywhere

nopeaz: hes probably just in the bathroom or brooding in the corner somewhere

hbicheryl: dont worry about him just celebrate! youve officially got a new boyfriend!

spillthefogarTEA: "dont worry about him" have you MET me??

goingtoheller: babe, he probably just got bored and bailed.

goingtoheller: i know that he's your best friend, but he isn't who you're dating--i am. can't you forget about sweet pea for a little while and just relax?

spillthefogarTEA: i guess so

goingtoheller: great!

spillthefogarTEA: ill just text sp real quick and attempt to verify that hes still alive first

goingtoheller: whatever you need to do, fangs. i'll see you afterward.

10:19 PM

spillthefogarTEA + hisshissmotherfucker

spillthefogarTEA: hey sweets, i just wanted to make sure you didnt do anything stupid

spillthefogarTEA: i know that you arent kevins biggest fan, but youre my best friend and i dont want to lose you over him

spillthefogarTEA: i wish you were here to celebrate with me but i get it if you cant

spillthefogarTEA: please, just text me back whenever you see this to let me know that youre okay.

[spillthefogarTEA is offline]

10:41 PM

hisshissmotherfucker: thanks for being so understanding fangs but ngl i dont know if i can handle you dating keller

hisshissmotherfucker: i mean like you said

hisshissmotherfucker: we're best friends

hisshissmotherfucker: so i shouldnt have a problem with you going out with whoever you want

hisshissmotherfucker: but something about him just rubs me the wrong way

hisshissmotherfucker: sorry if that wasnt what you wanted to hear

[hisshissmotherfucker is offline]

Notes: Sorry, this was supposed to just be a long holiday chapter, but I had so many ideas I had to split it into two. Bear with me, please! Also, happy new year, gays! As 20gayteen comes to a close, I hope you find even more peace, prosperity, and (of course) bisexuality in 20biteen!!

[waywardcosplays-blog]

OFF TOPIC: Life and Such (EDITED)

If you don’t know me you might think of this as a strange thing to do. So, you might just wanna save that time for something nicer. I would probably do that too. I don’t even know why I am doing this. Or maybe I do. I always have been very focused on people’s reaction. If they liked what I do and who I am. I cannot remember how or why or when I got so obsessed with it. I never truly got bullied. Sure, there was this guy who occasionally called me ugly and fat because I was the only one getting off my bus station and thus, cost everyone about twenty seconds of their lunch break. Or boys in my class who’d whisper behind my back because I had bought a new scarf and thought it looked pretty on me. Well, it apparently didn’t. Silly me.

   I actually can think of a few things like that right now, but that’s not what I want to write about. Because after all, it’s not what made me the person I am but merely added to it when everything was going down anyway. I think I used to be a very sympathetic person, kind and honest and... nice. I was that girl that everyone at least sort of liked or accepted around. I could talk with everybody but rarely did. I was terribly shy and when I opened up I usually felt silly afterwards. I just couldn’t bear the thought of me potentially putting people I saw everyday off by telling them about my feelings. Therefore, I resorted to writing on a safe space about it. Some people don’t get why writing is so much easier than talking but I think it’s plain simple: you can contemplate every word before you make it public. Talking always seemed much too spontaneous and risky.

   After a failed approach to twitter when I was about twelve (how the hell could I know that I needed to follow people not to have an forever empty timeline?) I grew into it a few years later. And I fell in love for the first time in my life. He was a sweet Scottish boy my age. It all started when I was looking for a name I could give my e-bass (so edgy) and he suggested his’. I agreed; and we continued chatting. What I cannot remember is whether I went on a holiday to Scotland “due” to him or if we booked it before I developed any feelings for him. I sure wanted to go there anyway but yeah. It probably doesn’t matter anyway. Either way, I was so looking forward to it. I told all my friends about it and I remember at least one of them telling me that I looked so happy and nice. I really was happy. There was this cute boy out there who told me things I never heard before. That he liked all the things I hated about me Right now, I feel so terribly dumb for I am sure everybody knew how much of I fool I was -- except for myself. This relationship was destined to fail and SPOILER: it did. I travelled through Scotland with my mum for almost two weeks that summer before meeting this boy in Edinburgh. I was so anxious that I couldn’t eat and sleep and the people on our travelling group would ask me at dinner if I was ill. I at least was sick. Love sick.

   We met at Scott’s Monument. I told my mum to let me wait on one of the benches on my own (she agreed but hid behind the monument to make sure that guy was the one I was supposed to meet (and take sneaky photos)). I pretended to be reading but I couldn’t get past the first line. But it didn’t really matter since there he was. Green-white striped shirt, blue jeans and a white bag. I can see it so clearly in my mind. He was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. I went up to him, probably red faced, and awkwardly waited until he noticed me. And he did.

   I don’t think we talked much. We were both so nervous and even though I am good at English having only gotten to know the Scottish accent in those ~11 days before didn’t make things any easier. But it didn’t really matter anyway. We went to the square in front of Edinburgh castle where they were testing the tattoo’s new seating constructions. We sat on the bottom watching all the tourists walk by. I had my hair dyed a ginger red back then and an Asian woman came up to us and took a photo. No joke. We looked at each other and decided to leave.

   Our next stop was the National Museum of Scotland. We played some kids’ game on the top floor, did the sports quiz (where I absolutely knew nothing, I am Jon Snow) and went to the roof where you have a lovely view on the whole city. I also remember him comparing me to the bust of a hairy man and me trying not to be upset about it. I was, though. Because I wanted him to think I was beautiful and exciting. I had brought along a gift for him since he was a Hibs fan and passionate drinker. It was green sickly sweet vodka and I gave it to him in the museum’s staircase. We both had a few sips right there. I had taken quite a few photographs throughout the day and took one there as well. The ones I took on our walk were blurry and shaky because we were moving. And even the one I took while blocking the stairs was awful because as mentioned before I wasn’t eating well and was a little drunk. He covered his face when I took it. People tend to interpret too much into past events but in an upsetting coincidence those unclear pictures perfectly sum up my relationship with that reckless boy. I never was the one he meant to clearly see him.

   I reckon we walked around for a little longer and then parted. In the evening, we once again chatted online. And I think I was the one being bold/pessimistic, telling him I was sorry for being weird and that I loved that day even though I was incapable of showing it and that I should have kissed him. He quickly answered that he felt the same way. I probably jumped around. He actually seemed to like me! And he still thought I was pretty after seeing me in real life. I was the luckiest girl alive. And the saddest for I was leaving the next day. I would have to wait so long to see my one and true love again.

   I actually never met my love again. I mean I met him, but with a completely different feeling. Within a few months, a girl texted me. She told me the truth about him. How he was telling like three girls at the same that he liked them and I felt like dying. I am not sure if I or she confronted him or he was forced to tell me. I told him it was okay. And I maybe really always felt that I wasn’t a girl that was enough. Sure thing is, we kept talking. And I texted a lot with that girl. We don’t talk anymore but I do cherish the memories I share with her because she is an amazing person and deserves all the luck in the world. Anyway, more than a year passed before I saw him again. And her. All three of us met and spent a day together. I wanted to cry through it. It was one of the most painful experiences I have ever made and I should have just put an end to it months before that. But I wanted to be special so badly.

   When we went to the bus station I channelled all my courage and asked him to go to a side street with me. I gave him a necklace very dear to me and it was the stupidest thing I have ever done. Like seriously. This guy had treated me like shit and I put an expensive necklace around his neck. I struggled whether to give him a peck, or hug, or just go when our friend showed up. And so we parted silently. However, I started to cry when I walked back to Princes Street with her. Again, she was so sweet telling me not to be sad and that I should stop saying that I was stupid. And I tried. Trying still didn’t stop me from stumbling down Princes Street with stinging eyes.

      Throughout the years, I didn’t really get better with people. There was one in Manchester. A beautiful singer and precious yet troubled soul. We went to see a Wolverine movie at the cinema and both fell asleep. When I was shivering at the tram station he put his arms around me and I felt so safe. When I wanted to make a donation for his bandcamp page it ended in a huge argument and after that we never really spoke again. It felt weird being so ignored so easily after spending so mucnt ime with him.

   My Gymnasium (=college) years were the loneliest ones in my life. I had no friends and I wanted none. The only person I knew was a girl from my former school and she just stood with me out of pity I guessed. I felt so lucky when I found my best friend. Of course, he lived in the UK as well. But he understood me. We chatted all day when I was in class or had breaks, on my way home and when I curled up in my bed. We sent pictures of blur to each other, made bad puns, he was my Pete Doherty and I was his Carl Barât. And then he didn’t show up on our first date. He eventually did on our second, half a year later, three hours too late and I could only bear to throw his present at him and then leave. I slowly got worse. Because I slowly figured that all those things happened because I am me. All the tricking myself into believeing that I was someone didn’t work after all.

   Our third attempt would be during my short summer at a school in London. I think I sensed something would go wrong because my ED got more and more obvious to a point where I had to drop sports. But he bought tickets for Graham Coxon at the Rounhouse and I was really looking forward to it. And 2nd August came. I skipped my afternoon classes and patiently waited for him to tell me when and where to meet. No answer. So I asked him. Still no answer. I told him I would wait for him at Camden Market. And I did for three hours. I only left when the gig had already started and the market was being closed. I was too ashamed to arrive early at my host parents house after telling them I was going out with a friend until late, so I walked around for two hours. I still arrived way before midnight but managed to sneak into my room. Defeated by my own stupidity that anyone would spend their limited time with me. And I thought make-up and getting skinny would change things. It obviously didn’t.

   So I gave up on that. I guess, I gave up on a lot of things after a certain thing happened. Or actually, I haven’t. I just went from controlling and restricting myself to do that with others. Because even I sometime am in charge of things. I won’t lie and say it doesn’t feel good but I truly came to realise what I have done and it hurts. Because I know how much the people that have endured me now must hurt. Because it’s the cruelest thing to be untrue to people that give you all they have. Stabbing them right where they’re most vulnerable. I have become all those people that made me hate and mutiliate myself. I would use the excuse of them “teaching” me and that I do not know better but maybe, just maybe I am a bad person. Because sometimes I think I get those guys. How they might just been in love with different people for different reasons. How erasing someone you like from your life is easier than awkward future interactions. How they were so scared of messing up that they did it straight away. For the greater good of all parties involved.

   The thing I know for sure however is that I still feel sorry about it everyday and they might don’t. They probably don’t. They live their lives in sunny California or the UK, playing football being in a great shape, sharing a home with their beautiful girlfriends. And I cannot blame them for not knowing my name anymore. But I hope I never forget anymore for I did hide it in a corner in the back of my mind too long. Forgetting what lies and arrogance do to people. Still, I feel like I must move on to get better and be able to be affected by men and women again.

   I, and especially people that used to really care about me, have paid a price far too high for my inability to feel anything but burning wrath or dull apathy. And I am sorry. I truly am. I loved and still love every single one of you and I hope you’ll find someone who treats you the way you deserve. Well, I know one of you already kinda has. And hearing about that was one of the rare things that made me smile that past year.

.

   I don’t really know what the purpose of this post is. Whether I wanna pity myself, understand my feelings a little better, if it’s a sad and pointless sorry, or if I just want to feel a bit less alone... I really don’t. But I hope I will find out someday.

[bloginstantmooncollector-blog]

Loves Park Illinois Cheap car insurance quotes zip 61131

"Loves Park Illinois Cheap car insurance quotes zip 61131

Loves Park Illinois Cheap car insurance quotes zip 61131

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Loves Park Illinois Cheap car insurance quotes zip 61131

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Loves Park Illinois Cheap car insurance quotes zip 61131

Loves Park Illinois Cheap car insurance quotes zip 61131

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Does doing car insurance quotes affect your credit score ?

Does doing car insurance quotes affect your credit score ?

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when i pass my test, i don't know whether to a actually buy a car. i'm 17 and if i bought a car, how much would it roughly cost to run including the insurance, maintenance, mot, and everything except for the petrol/diesel. the only problem is, i don't think i actually need the car as i'm at college with a bus pass, but in the summer i want to drive lots of places with friends like go camping etc with a car. i was interesested in renting one as it seems ideal for my wants, but you need to be like 22 to rent. is this true? to anyone who is driving at 17 in the uk - is it worth it or is it too expensive?""

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when i pass my test, i don't know whether to a actually buy a car. i'm 17 and if i bought a car, how much would it roughly cost to run including the insurance, maintenance, mot, and everything except for the petrol/diesel. the only problem is, i don't think i actually need the car as i'm at college with a bus pass, but in the summer i want to drive lots of places with friends like go camping etc with a car. i was interesested in renting one as it seems ideal for my wants, but you need to be like 22 to rent. is this true? to anyone who is driving at 17 in the uk - is it worth it or is it too expensive?""

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I wanted to get insurance for my motorcycle and I used gocompare for some quotes, there's one that says; 1,267.62 Instalments Deposit: 128.76 Monthly: 9 x 150.94 Total: 1,487.22 Voluntary : 0 Compulsory : 0 Total : 0 Why does it come to 1,487.22 when the price is 1,267.62? What is a deposit? I thought its when I put money in which includes the price of the insurance and comes out of the final price? I don;t get it back or what? help me plz""

Do i not have insurance if im driving someone elses insured car?

ok so i got in a little fender bender in my dads VW and the police asked for the insurance cars, that werent in the car at the time, so he gave me a ticket for not having liability insurance, he said if i bring proof of insuarnce to court he will drop it. now i live in the same house with my dad, i have insurance on my honda,with the same company and i am 19. the insurance cards however dont have my name on the VW . does this mean i am driving with no liability insurance?""

Insurance quote on nissan navra ?

in febuary i will be 17 is there any chance i would be able to get a quote on a truck like that or am i living in a dream world

How can I find out what auto insurance a company has?

OK. So I use to work for this repossession company and I was hit by an idiot that ran a red light. Anyway after the accident I got a lawyer. I quit there shortly after. Well the insurance card in the tow truck was expired and not the right company . When the company switch insurance they forgot to put the new card in.. well since the drive that hit me did not have insurance the personal injury will be covered by the companies insurance. But the owner will not tell my lawyer the name of the insurance company or anything. And said your gonna have to take me to court. He is a real jerk btw. So does anyone know how I could find out online or something what company they were with at the time of the accident??

Ideas for first car 10000 including insurance?

Hi i'm 17 male and have a budget of about 10000 to spend on a car and insurance. Looking for something fairly cool, nothinglike a micra or ka! Also want something pretty reliable no no american or french car suggestions please Thanks! :D""

Roughly how much per month is Homeowners Insurance?

What is the 12 month insurance premium for a $100,000 house?""

Loves Park Illinois Cheap car insurance quotes zip 61131

Loves Park Illinois Cheap car insurance quotes zip 61131

""I need car insurance quotes from competing companies, how do i get that?

I need to get a list of car insurance quotes from compteing companies. Does anyone know of a good website that allows you to do that?

Do you think if I worked at McDonalds I could be able to afford a mustang GT and pay for car insurance?

I want to buy a mustang GT. I prefer a 99-01 year. Which would probably cost me about 400-500 a month paying car payments and car insurance. I'm only 16 years old. But I plan on getting a job when i'm 18 and buying a car. I also need to get my GED, which I start taking classes for that next fall.. because I dropped out of school for specific reasons I wont talk about here. If I work 6 hours a day and earn 7.40 an hour for 5 days a week, thats about 880 bucks a month. Plus my parents could help me out a little. I would use all the money I get from work for the car payment, insurance and gas. Would I have enough money?""

""If I buy a term insurance policy for 30 years, what happens if I live more than 30 years?""

If I buy a term insurance policy for 30 years, what happens if I live more than 30 years?""

""As a 20 year old male, how high can I expect my car insurance to be if I drive a 2001 Mustang GT?""

Hello, I'm 20 years old and just now starting to drive. I've always commuted with my bicycle and it's kept me in great shape, but with school and a full time job, I can't be every where on time! So now it's time to drive! So, I visited Geico's website for an insurance quote, and I received the following; Start Your Policy Today for $107.65 plus 5 monthly payments of only $106.75 each 6 month total policy premium: $611.40 Is that too much, or does that sound about right?""

I need help choosing insurance for my car?

im 16 and i just got my license. I live in southern california and need help choosing a car insurance company that is reliable and easy to afford. i have a 3.5 gpa but dont know what company will give me a discount. Please help

Should i carry collision insurance on my 2006 silverado?

Should i carry collision insurance on my 2006 silverado?

Would insurance be high on an impala ss?

I'm 18, I have a safe driving record (so far), I've completed driving school as well as defensive driving (it gives me a discount), if it helps. I'm thinking about buying an impala ss. I can afford it as far as the payments go, and my parents have agreed to pay the insurance if it's reasonable . So what am I looking at, guys?""

Life insurance quotes make me save money?

Life insurance quotes make me save money?

Car accident in dad's car. What will the insurance cover? Should I get a lawyer?

I was involved in a 3 car accident. The car behind me hit me twice (once on the back right and once on the side as he swerved and lost control) causing me to hit the car in front of me. I was driving my dad's car for the summer because I'm doing an internship away from home. Since my dad's car is useless now, I needed to get a rental car. I would also like to get some medical expenses covered because I am experiencing back and neck pain. My questions are: Will the other person's insurance cover the cost of the rental car although the car is not mine but I am the one using it for the summer? And should I get a lawyer to handle this situation? (Also, my dad is 8 hours away from here and the car is still in the tow lot since I am staying at an extended stay hotel and have no where to keep the car.)""

Know of Affordable Insurance for unemployed NJ resident?

My wife just lost her job due to downsizing and she carried the insurance. Our insurance expires the end of October. I cant signup at my job until January. We can COBRA but it will cost around $900 a month which we certainly wont have since shes unemployed and wouldnt have even if she WAS employed. Anyone know if there is a more affordable option? Does unemployed have some kind of health insurance? We have 2 young children so not having insurance isnt an option. Please REAL Replies Only!!! No SPAM!

Home owners insurance check made out to mortgage company and me?

Evidently my insurance co made out the check to both myself and my mortgage bank (too bad I didn't realize it before I deposited it at the ATM this morning...) for siding and roof hail damage. I was on hold for over 40 minutes today waiting to talk to a rep at the mortgage bank (PNC). I hung up and will call back tomorrow when I have more time to listen to bad music. What's the normal procedure for handling this? The check was only for $6800. I may hold off a bit on some of the repair, and do some of it myself. I've already made arrangements for a window replacement ($900 vs the $450 the ins co gave me). There's a PNC Bank just down the street. Any ideas on whether they can handle it there?""

How do I cancel Primerica life insurance policy?

I was briefly a Primerica rep about 2 years ago. While I was a rep, I purchased a Primerica Life Insurance policy at their suggestion. About 6 months later I quit. I still have the policy. Now it seems like a complete waste of money. It is $37 per month, and I really have no need for life insurance. I am a bachelor, and nobody depends on my income. I called the Primerica number, and the recording said to cancel a policy, send them a letter in the mail requesting cancellation with the policy number. That seems awfully vague. Is there anything else I need to put on the letter? Do I need to send the letter certified mail so they can't say, We never received it, and keep charging me every month? Dumb questions. Sorry.""

Very Cheap Car Insurance?

Hello, I need the cheapest insurance.I am from NY, please help.""

If i was buying a car and its a class C would this increase my car insurance?

I have 3 years no claimi currently have a 1.6 i am thinking off buying a mini cooper which has been in a accident its a class C.the mini has the same size engine as my car at the moment. Just really want to know if it would affect the price of my car insurance thanks guys xx

""Dui in personal vehicle 5 years ago, can i get comercial insurance for livery service?""

independant owner operator of sedan service in st petersburg, fl""

Car insurance for a rental car?

Hello, I was looking to rent a car for about 1 month, but finding the rental companies insurance costly than the car itself. I called up few insurance companies and they are ready to provide me some cheap basic insurance for like about $75.00/month which covers liability, other car damages; but not the physical damage of my car (they said my credit card company should cover it). I discussed this with one of my friend and he said that the rental car company would not allowed you to rent a car on the renter's insurance. Is it true? If yes, then what could be the best way I can get a cheap and covered car insurance for my rental car for 1 month. Please suggest.""

Should you get better car insurance coverage when purchasing a home?

I am currently house shopping and my boss mentioned increasing my car insurance coverage to cover the price of my house in case I get into an accident where the damages are higher than my coverage. Could I be sued for my house if I cause an expensive accident and my insurance doesn't cover it or all of it? Should my car insurance be raised to 150k, and how much can I expect that to cost? I live in California and the legal minimum is 15/30(which is what I currently have), I told my agent I would like to pay no more than 160k for the house, though I was approved for more.. I drive an rsx, it's paid for, and drive roughly 22k miles a year.""

Can't we make a compromise between all out socialized healthcare and private health insurance?

Can't we do something like give insurance companies tax breaks for covering x amount of people who earn low wages at a sharply reduced price? Or have a smaller government program only for those who cannot afford insurance?

19yrs old car insurance?

Im 19yrs old and I got into a bad car accident when I was 15/16 yrs old. It was my fault so I went to court and they told me if I do community service and take a drivers ed class it will be cleared. As if the accident never happened. So now I want to get my own car insurance since I don't have anyone to get it for me. Will it so show that I got into a car accident ? Do I answer yes I've been in a car accident in the last 5 years? This has been the only car accident I've had so far.

What is the Average Cost of Term Life Insurance?

What is the Average Cost of Term Life Insurance?

Cheaper car insurance?

I'm an 18 (almost 19) year old male living in Ontario, Canada, and I'm on my parent's insurance policy. I'm looking into buying my first car. It's not just some old beater, it's a car that I would definitely enjoy driving. It's a 1999 Chevy Cavalier with a bunch of modifications to it. I'm worried about what I will be paying monthly in insurance. The guy I'd be buying it from told me as long as your insurance company doesn't ask for pictures of the car, in order to keep my premium low I should just lie about what's in/on the car. He said tell them you bought it for the black book price without any mods ($1200 - $2100), and state the only addition being a body kit. MY QUESTION IS: Could I get in any trouble if they ever found out about all of the modifications to the car that I didn't list? What would happen?""

Do Police Officers have to pay for their police car & insurance?

Im wondering if police officers have to pay for the police car they use, and if they have to pay for the insurance, or is it covered by the police department? and do they receive gas money or you have to pay for it out of your own pocket?""

Average car insurance rates for people under 21 years old?

Average car insurance rates for people under 21 years old?

Where can i get cheap insurance?

I Would like to get a new auto insurance, where can i find cheap insurance? Thanks in advance""

How much do you pay for car insurance?

How much do you pay for car insurance?

Loves Park Illinois Cheap car insurance quotes zip 61131

Loves Park Illinois Cheap car insurance quotes zip 61131

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