#of course I do believe Dean loved hunting so he would have always been involved in some capacity.

[herefortheships]

I just watched the Supernatural pilot episode for the first time in around ten years and I have to say that it's so surreal seeing where this show started vs how it ended.

[a-crazy-fangirl]

SPN posting ahead!

This might be a controversial take, but I am firmly of the opinion that Dean full on settled for Lisa and didn’t really love her like he thought he did.

NOTE: I SAY THIS WITH ALL THE LOVE AND RESPECT FOR LISA!! My hand to God, I’m not trying to be a hater or anything like that. Lisa’s perfectly fine, I just think she and Dean aren’t compatible.

I think he stayed with her because she checked a lot of the boxes of what he thought he wanted. Like on paper, Lisa should be perfect for him. Lisa and her lifestyle embodies what Dean thought he wanted— a picket fence life away from hunting with a hot, down to earth woman and a good kid that idolizes him. It was what his Dad was fighting to avenge, so I think Dean internalized his dad’s desires and goals and saw it as the be all and end all of what someone should want. And again, like he was taught from a very young age, achievement of “goals” and “tasks” as defined by his dad should supersede whatever “””fantasies””” he had for himself (aka his own desires, thoughts, and feelings).

So in that light, maybe his emotional connection with Lisa wasn’t as good as he had experienced with other women, but she was supportive enough and offered a lifestyle that he thought he wanted, so he made due with her fully expecting the rest of the pieces to fall into place. I think he expected that, based on what his dad taught him, if he was a good partner and did what he was supposed to do, the love and happiness would inevitably follow.

I think the fact it didn’t was a part of the reason he went back to hunting with Sam so readily.

Above all, I think the failure of his relationship with Lisa was a moment of serious growth for Dean.

I want to preface this by saying I don’t think he settled intentionally like some kind of fuckboy. He truly cared about Lisa and Ben, without a doubt, and I fully believe he went into that relationship thinking he was right where he wanted and needed to be. I don’t think he went into it lightly or casually by any stretch of the imagination.

But I think his relationship with Lisa, and the way it failed over the course of season 5/6, taught him that a relationship has to be more than just your idealized concept of what a partner (and a relationship) should be. It also involves the connection and truth, no matter how messy or vulnerable that maybe. That, and that it doesn’t always match up with what you expect it should be.

What cements my theory for me is the relationships he had with people that were fully a part of his entire life, warts and all. He loved Cassie. He was on his way to loving Jo. He loved Benny. And he loved Castiel.

His connections with those who truly saw and understood him for who he was in his entirety were far deeper than what he got from someone so far removed from his life.

Looking beyond what’s textual and more into my spitball, head canon opinions, if the show had been fair to Dean, he would have ended up with a fellow hunter— I think that would have been the only way Dean could have had a “real” love interest. Dean is a very emotional man and I think he would need someone who really fully understood him. He never really got that in any long-term fling that was well depicted in the show, which sucks. I think, after everything, he deserved that. I wish we had had at least one lady that matched his freak

(It would have been Jo but the fandom motherfuckers in the mid/late 00s fucked that up for us 🤬)

TLDR!! Lisa strikes me more as someone who John would have liked Dean to pursue rather than someone Dean would have organically sought out on his own. For that reason, the relationship failed because it was what Dean thought he wanted rather than what he actually wanted.

[luna-writes-stuff]

Always, Dean Winchester

Song link

Fanfic, male! reader

Hurt/comfort, slight angst with hopeful ending

Word count: 3510

Tw: British Men of Letters (ew), swearing (big ol’ F-bomb), breakup angst with slight resolving. Mentions of being stood up on a date. Reader is going through some emotions.

Summary: Dean never wanted to leave you, but when the British Men of Letters threatened to come after you, he broke it off before they stood a chance. Now, weeks later, he still regrets that fateful evening. After an hour long drive, he stands in front of you motel room, trying to find some sort of closure.

Requested by @trannydean

Buy me a coffee/force me to write more

“This Romeo is bleeding But you can't see his blood. It's nothing but some feelings That this old dog kicked up.”

In the course of his life, Dean has made many stupid mistakes. Some mistakes more colossal than the others, but overall a big heap of stupid mistakes. But through all of the trial and error he was forced to go through, he has never regretted one more than losing you.

In all truth, it hadn’t even been a necessarily mistake. More often than not, it would be the lesser of two evils, but this was all together foolish on his side. He felt that on his side, he’d be extremely vulnerable with you around. Especially when the whole British Men of Letters debacle began to escalate.

You hadn’t been a hunter to begin with. You knew about Dean’s life and what he did - it was how you met him after all. But you never joined him and his brother with it. Occasionally, you’d help him dig up some lore, made sure motel places were safe, and had the honour to be the getaway driver every so often.

So, why did he really have to get rid of you?

“It's been raining since you left me, Now I'm drowning in the flood. You see I've always been a fighter But without you I give up.”

In the heat of the moment, it seemed like the right thing to do. You weren’t heavily involved in the hunting life, so you wouldn’t be missed that much. Or at least, that is what he had told you - what he had told himself. In all truth, that would have been one big lie. Maybe you didn’t decapitate vampires or burned bodies, but you didn’t need to. Not for him.

You were his moment of peace after a long hunt; a place he could run to to calm down, to rant, to break down in the rare moments of the night. Every moment he spent around you felt like pure serotonin to him. Every time he fell into a hole and had trouble digging himself out, truly believing he had hit rock bottom, you were there with a rope to pull him out. And he never realised how much you had helped him until it was too late.

It was pure irony that made him hate that dreaded day where he did everything in his power to keep you safe. In order to get you somewhere safe, you had to be away from him. You would never do that willingly. So, he pulled the stupid boyfriend part.

He hated the person who came up with the line ‘you never know what you got until it’s gone’. He hated it, because it was true.

“Now I can't sing a love song Like the way it's meant to be. Well, I guess I'm not that good anymore. But, baby, that's just me.”

It was late at night when he called you from the motel. At least he had the dignity to meet up with you. He had to minimise the chances of you running to him in fear something was wrong. This was better done face to face.

And so, in the dead of night, you pulled up your car to the nearest tank station, already seeing Dean standing there. You had run up to him with a smile, anticipating a surprise, a gift, a secret getaway. But as you stepped closer to him, you could already see the silent remorse on his face. It made you halt where you stood.

Not even ten minutes later you were back in your car, your eyes brimmed with tears, cheeks red and a building headache. You couldn’t remember how long the drive home had been, but once you got there, everything in you had told you to fling yourself onto the couch and let all your emotions flow freely.

“And I will love you, baby, always. And I'll be there forever and a day, always. I'll be there 'til the stars don't shine. 'Til the heavens burst and the words don't rhyme.”

That was three months ago. And aside from the short demon visit from a while back, nothing extraordinary had happened - unlike you had expected. You figured that being separated from the Winchesters would put a massive target on your back, but the opposite was proven. It had been as if you had just completely disappeared from monster radar.

Some part of you was extremely grateful for it. You were able to get back into the loop of your old life, which was something you didn’t think would be possible after four years.

Dean hadn’t checked up on you since. Sam had tried to call several times, but it always went to voicemail. You’d send him a brief message to let him know you were alright, but you were in no mood to talk to him. Not out of hatred or embarrassment, but because he would always bring Dean up. And that had started to become one of your least favourite topics

“And I know when I die, You'll be on my mind. And I'll love you always.”

“Still not answering?” Sam placed his phone on the table, giving Dean an accusing look. “He never answers.” “So, why bother calling?” “Dean,” Sam objected, throwing one hand up in frustration. “It’s called simple human interest. He’ll send me a message later.” Dean frowned at his brother, confusion written on his face. “Wait, you guys are texting?”

An annoyed look passed Sam’s features as Dean’s curiosity grew. “Yes, Dean, I text with my friends.” “He doesn’t text me.” “Because you dumped him over your stupid ego.” A moment of silence passed as the older Winchester shook his head, a light scoff escaping his throat. “You want to know how the white fence life goes?” “He had a date last night.” Sam ignored the mocking tone in his brother’s voice. “I’m curious if it was a success.”

That shut Dean up really quick. He never meant to dump you - he just wanted to keep you safe. He had done his best telling Sam that the dumping was mutual and that the relationship had simply ‘run its course’. Sam, of course, was smarter than this, but hadn’t mentioned it. Be that as it may, Dean had started to not only feel, but become miserable as well. And as sad as it was in the beginning, it had begun to annoy Sam. He knew his brother and he could tell that he would be too stubborn to admit his own feelings, so the youngest had taken it upon himself to keep in touch and maybe arrange a meeting later. The news of a date, however, seemed to grasp Dean’s full attention. And though that wasn’t what Sam had intended to happen, he was slightly glad it did.

“Now your pictures that you left behind Are just memories of a different life. Some that made us laugh, some that made us cry. One that made you have to say goodbye.”

“He’s only an hour from here now, I think.” Sam hinted subtly. “Some motel just outside of town, I believe.” “You want to discuss it over tea?” Dean interrupted, trying to act disinterested. “You’re impossible, Dean.” Sam objected, rising from his seat. “You’re miserable, you haven’t slept in days, and you tell yourself it’s okay, but it’s not!” “I’m not miserable.” Dean objected, shrugging his shoulders as he tried to let his brother’s anger wash over him.

“Face it, Dean. Ever since you broke up with him, you’ve been completely out of it. I’m not even sure if it was that mutual.” Now Dean’s head rose, giving Sam an accusing look, slightly angered by his last words. “What’s that supposed to mean?” “You broke up with him, because you were scared.” The youngest Winchester revealed, beyond convinced of his words. Dean’s frown intensified as he began to interrupt him. “Sam-” “You were scared.” Sam repeated frustrated. “Because you thought the British Men of Letters would run after him.” “Well, he’s safe now, isn’t he?” Dean roared, ending Sam’s words quickly, now shooting out of his seat as well.

“Yes,” Sam responded, now matching his brother’s volume. “But you’re not! I’ve never seen you so out of your loop since we lost dad. You’re not even focused on hunts anymore!” Seething silently, Dean simply stared ahead. His mind echoed a thousand thoughts as Sam’s words seemed to slip past him completely. “You fell down the stairs because a ghost spooked you. A ghost, Dean.”

“Whatever,” The oldest Winchester grunted, as stubborn as he had always been. Without sparing his brother a second look, he walked out of the room, slamming the door behind him as his hands found the railings of the motel. His eyes observed the empty parking lot in front of him. Sam didn’t know what he was talking about.

He was in his car a handful of seconds later.

“What I'd give to run my fingers through your hair. To touch your lips, to hold you near. When you say your prayers, try to understand. I've made mistakes, I'm just a man.”

This was a terrible idea. It was an hour long drive. He could have turned around at any given moment. Nothing in him said that he should at least try. He knew it wouldn’t work. Why he let Sam get to him so much, he couldn’t tell.

But there he stood, in front of the motel Sam talked about. It was late - too late for anyone to randomly knock on doors, especially at motels. Creepy men or kidnappers could stand right on the other side. Or an ill-tempered Dean, in this case.

A deep sigh escaped him before his fist finally knocked on the door twice. The feeling drumming in his heart hadn’t been a strange one, he was more than familiar with it. Only now, it felt horrible. A bad kind of butterflies, instead of the light, comfortable feeling he had grown so accustomed to.

Yes, this was a terrible idea.

“When he holds you close, when he pulls you near. When he says the words you've been needing to hear. I'll wish I was him 'cause those words are mine. To say to you 'til the end of time.”

On the other side of the door, you had been going through the last jar of ice cream you had gotten that same morning. When you heard the knocking, your initial thought was to pretend as if you weren’t here, but you quickly abandoned that idea after realising that - whoever it was - they could see the light burning. Asking no sound would make them think you were asleep, and if it was a murderer, that would basically be an invitation.

So, hesitantly you walked up through the door, peering through the peephole.

“Absolutely not.” You called through the door, immediately walking back to your ice cream. “Wait!” Dean called, but you ignored his command. “I don’t even want to know why you’re here.” You returned, laying down on the bed as you switched the lights off, opting to eat in silence and darkness. “Sweetheart, please-“ “Sweetheart?” You repeated incredulously. “Last time I checked, we broke up.”

“Can we talk?” You ignored his question. He seemed to await your answer before he knocked again. “Come on,” He mumbled. “I can do the talking, and you’ll just listen.” “You’re doing just fine from the other side of the door.” You countered, your annoyance building up over the whirlpool of emotions in your stomach.

“Sweetheart, please.”

“And I will love you, baby, always. And I'll be there forever and a day, always.”

When he knocked for a third time, you shot up out of bed, frantically wiping tears from your face which had fallen for all kinds of different reasons. Angrily unlocking the door, you swung the door open, giving Dean a look that might have killed him on the spot if he had been anyone else. “I’m not here to beg for forgiveness or-“ “Good.” You interrupted him. “So, there better be a life threatening monster in town or you can go right back to the car.”

“No, it’s-” He trailed off halfway, now properly taking a look at you. “Baby, have you been crying?” You scoffed, a faux smile showing itself briefly. “Goodbye, Dean.” As you tried to slam the door shut, Dean’s hand shot out to grab the knob, keeping it locked in place. If you had pulled just a little bit harder, you could have easily won, but that stupid question seemed to trigger frustration all again, leaving you caught up in your emotions.

“Sweetheart-“ “I travelled two states for this guy,” You revealed, not even thinking about what you were saying. You just needed to tell someone about it - a place to rant about the dude. “I genuinely thought we had a connection.” A mocking laugh escaped you as you forced the tears back, not even looking at Dean.

“Did he stand you up?” “No,” You continued. “He was there, alright. Brought his girlfriend with him and everything.” A thin-lipped frown passed Dean’s face, unsure of what to say or what to do. You only resumed your rant. “When I tried to talk to him, he pretended he didn’t even know me. Proceeded to give this chick the best date of her life.” Then, you wiped a stray tear away, silently cursing yourself that you had allowed yourself to be so open to someone you hated just two seconds ago.

“Sweetheart-“ “No, stop that, asshole!” You yelled, anger and pain evident in your voice. “You broke up with me! You don’t get to call me names!”

“If you told me to cry for you, I could. If you told me to die for you, I would.”

Again, you turned around, your hands shaking slightly, fully aware that it would be useless to try to close the door once more. You knew that if you’d ask, he’d allow you to close it, but you didn’t quite know what you wanted him do or say. Yes, you were upset with him. Enraged, some nights. But no, you just wanted some company. Even if Dean was the worst choice.

“So, I had the worst date ever, and when I am most vulnerable, world’s greatest douchebag shows up at my fucking motel room.” You finalised, running a hand through your hair in frustration. A beat of silence washed over both of you before Dean spoke up again: “We were chased.” “We’re always chased, Dean.” You returned, not quite sure what he wanted to say. You weren’t in the mood for it.

“No, I mean…” He pondered over his words for a while, before letting the truth slip. “There is a group called the British Men of Letters. You do not want to mess with them.” Your mouth fell open in an ‘ah’. Not even surprised he managed to turn the conversation around so quickly. “Was Agents of the United Kingdom already taken?” You replied, a sharp edge to your tone. “Baby, I’m serious,” The Winchester protested. “They knew everything about us before we even met. They knew things I wouldn’t have told anyone. They knew about you. They were going to come for you if I hadn’t broken it off.”

So, that is what this had been about. He wasn’t here for some monster or lethal situation, he came here to fix what he had broken all those weeks back. You could have called him names where he stood, properly express your rage, sent him away. Instead, what came out was a pitiful: “I would’ve been fine.”

“We wouldn’t have stood a chance.” Dean sighed, empathy written on his face. “There’s not a day gone by that I haven't regretted that lie I told you. I did love you. I still do.” A harmful smile grew as you shook your head at him. “It’s a little late for that.” “I’m not expecting you to take me back,” The man tried to explain. “I’m just asking for understanding.”

“Take a look at my face, There's no price I won't pay. To say these words to you.”

Whether you believed him or not, you shrugged pathetically, still extremely conflicted. “You could have told me.” “You wouldn’t have let me go.” Dean revealed, something you - though adamantly - could agree on. Had you known, you wouldn’t have given him the satisfaction. Maybe you’d still be together. But he broke your heart all the same. This was no simple forgive-and-forget situation for you. And he seemed to notice: “Sweetheart, I’m so sorry for everything, but I had to.”

You shook your head again, crossing your arms as your eyes fell on the flickering patio light above you. “You’re an asshole for dumping all of this on me now.” “I know.” He agreed. “I just wanted you to know that I didn’t break up with you because of something you did. Or something you said. You’re perfect. I just didn’t want to lose you.” However grateful you were to finally hear those words - that this was in no way your fault - you couldn't help but see the irony in it. “Well, that backfired, didn’t it?” “I’d rather have you safe and away from me, than dead on the floor.”

Your arms fell to your sides as you ran over his words. They were spoken truly, and you wanted to believe him so badly. Part of you already had. But the reasonable part of your bran had finally resurfaced. The silence was killing you. Dean was waiting for you to say something - to do something. You couldn’t bring yourself to forgive him. And you couldn’t suppress the sarcastic speech climbing out your throat.

“How romantic.”

“Well, there ain't no luck In these loaded dice. But, baby, if you give me just one more try. We can pack up our old dreams and our old lives. We'll find a place where the sun still shines.”

When he didn’t seem to respond to that, you sighed, nodding at him. “I understand, Dean.”

The amount of relief that swept through him upon those three words could not be described. To him, it felt as if a massive weight had just been lifted off his chest, and - though it was no forgiveness - he was grateful you knew that nothing had been wrong with you, despite what he might have said that night. “Thank you.” He nearly whispered. “But this isn’t going away like that.” You added, watching Dean’s face fall lightly. “I know.” He admitted, finally stepping away from your doorstep.

“Sam and I are at the Crescent motel an hour from here,” He tried to change the subject again, putting his hand in his coat pockets. “We just finished our case, figure we’ll be gone tomorrow at 9. Might do Sam some good to see your face again.” You understood his underlying notion, but you weren’t going to give him the satisfaction. Not out of pettiness - out of self reservation. You needed some time for yourself. You were feeling enough as it is.

“He can call me.” You answered. “I’m going home first.” “Of course.” He nodded, the atmosphere now slightly uncomfortable. He seemed to sense it too, because he began to turn around.

“Bye, Dean.” You greeted, a sympathetic smile on your face, one of silent reassurance. He turned his head slightly, giving you a small smile. “Bye, sweetheart.”

As he made his way down the motel steps, you walked towards the railing, looking at him as he walked back to his car. “You know, it’s kind of hurtful you never once called me.” You called after him, watching him halt and look at you. His smile grew a tiny amount at the words, throwing that boyish look towards you: “Keep your eyes on the phone.”

“And I will love you, baby, always. And I'll be there forever and a day, always.” I'll be there 'til the stars don't shine. 'Til the heavens burst and the words don't rhyme.”

As he entered the car, you waited. It wasn’t until his car disappeared from view that you walked back to your room, locking the door behind you. The sadness had lightly disappeared, a lighter, more hopeful feeling now entering your stomach. It grew even more when your phone rang.

Walking up to the device, you were quick to notice the familiar name of the caller. Unable to suppress the genuine smile climbing onto your face, you picked it up, holding the device to your ear.

There was a moment of silence, before a light laugh was heard from the other side: “You answered.” Smiling brighter at the voice, you answered him. “You called.”

A hum of agreement was heard from the other side as the motor of a car was clearly heard in the background. “Goodbye, sweetheart.” Dean’s voice called through the phone.

“Drive safe.”

“And I know when I die, You'll be on my mind. And I'll love you, always.”

[realityparty]

fell on black days | no exit

part ii. no exit summary - Dean and Jo get used to being around each other again. The End AU pairing: dean x jo

warnings: typical canon violence, kissing

[prt i.] [prt. iii] [masterlist]

Dean didn't know what to expect. He didn't know how to necessarily feel. As the world slowly decayed, he learned to let go of the desires he had in life. Those small pleasures he afforded, while he fought the supernatural underbelly, had turned into ash. He learned to really compartmentalize. There was no use in getting distracted by the past and, more importantly, the people of his past.

It was hard enough trying not to think of Sam and his parents. He missed Bobby, but he knew he couldn't venture further. He couldn't get lost in what he believed to be the obituaries of the friends he had made along the way. Dean couldn't think of them as being alive. He didn't want to think about how anyone he cared about was stuck in this world. When it all came down to it, all of this was his fault.

It was his fault that Jo was out there alone. He let the world go bad and it took her mother. His choices had led her to be in that church and attacked by vampires. Dean had played a role in her first hunt. If he dug further back, his family was the reason her dad died on a hunt. The Winchesters played a very big part in the life of Jo Harvelle.

It didn't help that his thoughts for Jo weren't entirely brotherly, as much as he tried to convince himself. He saw what happened to the women that became involved with the Winchester men. He didn't want to subject Jo to the same fate as his mom and Jessica.

It was clear the girl he was looking at with the seeping neck wound and the stained collar was not the one that moved so effortlessly around the Roadhouse.

This wasn't Jo that wore the pale pink shirts and styled her hair in curls to attract tips from patrons. As much as she hated to be reminded, she was no longer the naive Jo that yearned to be a hunter and follow in her father's footsteps.

As much as Dean had admired Jo and her drive, he sometimes resented it for her. He remembered hunting the ghost of Holmes and being haunted by the thought a girl like Jo could have a different life. It was clear that was what Ellen wanted. She had a parent that wanted more for her. A mother that wasn't pushing a need for revenge.

He knew his mind was clouded from his dad's death back then. A huge part of that played in how he acted back then had created that wedge between him and Jo. Because despite her naivety, she was a good hunter despite Ellen's insistence she wasn't.

Dean knew that had he met Jo even a couple of months earlier, he would have most definitely tried to get into her pants. But after his dad's death, Dean stopped imagining a life outside of hunting. Those fleeting dreams he had of Lisa when he found out she had Ben, the possibility of him leaving a legacy, were just a fantasy.

He knew he had been in the life for too long to simply just walk away. Between seeing Bobby and Ellen, unlike his Dad's life on the road, he knew it was possible to have a base. As much as he loved Baby, even she needed rest for a while. But even the thought of having four walls as a home seemed impossible. He became resigned to hotel rooms being his stowaway home.

It was after Hell, when he didn't know know what was going on with Sam and the pressure of the angels when he truly did entertain what life could be. He had resigned to the fact hunting would always be in his Life. Dean turned to dreams to escape his realities. So he dreamed of owning a house near Bobby, of course. He could work in the junkyard and help expand the car side of Bobby's business. Dean thought he would like to work in restoration.

As business boomed, it would only make sense for Jo to be their secretary. She would do a good job of manning the phones for the legitimate business and the hunting one. He could imagine her sitting in the office with her feet up chewing someone out. As much as she would be terse and blunt it wouldn't affect business. Heck, Dean would believe it would drive up business. He would flirtily suggest that they should use her for a billboard advertisement.

He didn't know if Jo could cook, but he could imagine her cutting a piece of pie for him on his birthday with a candle burning brightly in the middle.

It was the quieter moments that provided an intimacy he could only imagine, or chased in fleeting moments with strangers, in motel rooms that had him wading in dangerous territory.

Territory that would only get her hurt in the end. He told himself it was out of respect for Ellen he had buried those feelings deep for Jo and the possibility. Besides, there was a curse attached to the Winchesters.

But in the end, it seemed none of his well wishes mattered. His choices had led her to be in that church and nearly a vampire chew toy.

Her teeth were stained with blood as she hissed. The vampire had got her good.

"It's good to see you, Dean." The tension in his body faded a bit. He hadn't heard her voice in so long and the memories didn't do her justice.

"You too, Jo." His voice was rough, but his throat was thick as he worked to stop the tears that were threatening to spill over.

He held her bloody hand the whole ride home.

Dean didn't know what to expect with Jo back in his life and vicinity.

He knew they wouldn't go back to their old camaraderie despite wanting to. He wouldn't admit that despite Cas' gentle prodding. At times, Dean wished Cas could still read minds and be blunt. He didn't care for the hippie Cas that was mindful of feelings. He knew Jo had questions. He could tell by the occasional glances they would share. If she was asking questions they were not being answered through him.

It seemed Jo was doing everything in her power not to be in close quarters with him anyways. At first, he thought she was keeping her distance to prove herself. He recalled what Ellen has said about Jo not being made for the life when they crossed paths back in River Pass, Colorado. He wondered if those small comments Jo knew Ellen made were fueling Jo to always volunteer for patrol, weapons training, and runs. Since she was cleared by Med Bay for duty, it seemed Jo didn't know how to sit still. So when they did happen to cross paths all those talks were superficial about logistics and security. They were all impersonal.

In ways, she did know him better than Cas so just the head nods and brief talks on who was taking shifts on watch were a blessing.

But even if he didn't want to think about Jo, it was damn near impossible with how much everyone gushed about her.

He heard a million times a day about how she was amazing and sweet. Easy to talk to too. The younger girls in camp loved her while the boys leered. The apocalypse did not change how she filled out her jeans. Dean shook his head. The last thing he needed was to be having those thoughts in the middle of the day distracting him.

He squinted as he looked at the camp. The camp was rapidly expanding and soon new cabins would be needed. They needed to expand their crops. Invest in more greenhouses. With the winter, they needed to get material to combat the cold. The last thing they needed was a sickness to run through their camp.

He moved along the parameter making sure everything was reinforced. All the sigils were still in tack when he came across Krissy Chambers. He never met her father, Lee. He didn't think he ever heard of a Chambers family. From the rundown he got, it did seem they were friends with Bobby. It wasn't surprising he and Sam weren't the only kids to darken Bobby's footsteps.

Just based on the backstory, it made sense that Jo and she would have some sort of hybrid mother-and-sister relationship. It was clear that Krissy admired Jo. Just from the way the teenage girl dressed and moved, he could see Jo's mannerisms in her. He knew that had to be some sort of ego boost for Jo, but he also knew the crushing weight of having someone wanting to emulate them.

"Hey, Dean," Krissy greeted.

Unlike Jo, Krissy had no problem talking to him. It took him a while to get used to her deadpan tone and to decipher when she was fucking with him and being serious. But no matter what, she was a pain in his ass with her constant challenging of him. He didn't know if he was speaking with Krissy or Jo half the time.

"Krissy," he replied gruffly.

"I need you to talk to Jo. She is acting like an overprotective mother."

Dean snorted. Oh, how have the tables turned he thought. "Why would anything I have to say matter?"

He had no weight in how Jo decided to raise Krissy. Krissy was her ward. He knew Jo was feeling the responsibility of keeping another person alive. He wasn't going to interfere with that. It wasn't his place or business.

Krissy didn't reply, but she leveled him with a look. A look he would see in Jo's eyes that she clearly inherited from Ellen. It was a look that made him squirm in his pants even as a grown-ass adult.

Dean huffed. "Fucking fine, but I'm not making any promises."

A smile came across the girl's features. The smile showcased that she was a teenager. It softened her as she trailed off to the two other new teens that arrived at camp before Jo and Krissy did. Aiden and Josephine were orphans they found living in a storage unit. They were like Krissy eager to learn and overzealous with proving their worth.

He didn't seek Jo out immediately. One, he knew she was busy working in the Med Bay. He noticed Jo was always working in different areas. She didn't have a specialty per see. She had no problem learning different skill sets to make the camp run. So the first night he didn't bother in seeking her out to have a conversation she would probably chew him out for.

On the second day he was scheduled for a run and by the time they came back two days later, he slept for 12 hours after that.

He decided before Krissy was banging on his door that he should hold up the end of his deal. He ignored Cas and Chuck's cheeky gazes as he inquired where Jo was. He noticed that Jo had become very close with these two, especially Chuck.

He wondered what the prophet was telling her, but he decided he didn't want to know. He never really inquired why Chuck didn't publish books with Ellen and Jo, or if he even wrote about them.

He made the journey to Jo's cabin which was more secluded than the rest. She had a semblance of privacy. Unlike his cabin, he was more in the center. If something were to happen he needed to be on the scene quickly.

As he made the trek through some overgrown grass, he thought maybe they should try to do some landscaping. He didn't care for the appearance of things, but with the increasing flow of kids, he knew they deserved to have some semblance of normalcy. For all intent and purposes, this was their home. No matter what he felt about it, it was about everyone else. The kids needed a home.

He wasn't going to this meeting empty-handed though. He managed to find some M&Ms and grabbed two bottles of beer. He wasn't above bribing to soften her up.

He knocked on the red door of her cabin, which was opened almost immediately. If she was shocked to see him, she didn't show it. Her blonde hair was in a messy bun. She had a grey long-sleeve shirt on with a pair of black tight-fitting jeans. She looked relaxed and comfortable. She didn't say anything as she opened the door wider to let him in.

Her cabin was vastly different from his. His cabin was used just for rest and to store weapons. He didn't have much. He prioritized just keeping the necessities.

So it was slightly surprising to see Jo's cabin. They had a loveseat with an afghan draped over it. There were books on the coffin table. He noticed a small bookshelf that had even more books and board games. He even spotted candles lining surfaces. Not just the plain unscented white, red, and black ones, but those fancy candles he would see in department stores. It smelled like cinnamon and honey.

It was homey. It was her home. It made him think of what she said when she first arrived about her traveling from place to place since the start of this. It made him wonder if she finally felt safe.

"What's up?" She asked as she spotted the M&Ms and beer.

"Housewarming gift."

Jo raised an eyebrow. "You are going to have to do better than that."

Dean passed over a beer. "Just wanted to make sure you are okay."

Jo opened her beer bottle with practice ease against her countertop. "I mean all things considered I can't complain. Are you okay?"

"Right as rain," Dean replied as he popped open his bottle of beer and took a swing.

Jo eyed him but didn't say anything. She took a sip of the warm beer and sat on her couch.

Dean tried his best to not think about the last time he shared a beer with Jo. Instead of pushing Sam away, he would've asked him to stay. Maybe even suggested, instead of just hunting between the two of them, to tag along with Ellen and Jo. Go back and help Bobby get settled in more after losing his ability to walk.

Instead, he had let Sam leave. He sulked in his motel room and licked his wounds. He had already been prepared for Jo to knock on his door. He thought he got lucky that it was her rather than Ellen. The smack he received from the Harvelle matriarch had been enough for him. He thought maybe Jo would ask where Sam was, but knowing his brother, he probably downloaded the two Harvelle women about what was going on.

It immediately had him irritated as he looked at the blonde. He remembered grabbing the offered beer from her, but his mood was already set. He was still reeling from hell and knowing he broke the first seal had him spiraling even more. Now Sam was dealing with a demon blood addiction and his dad's words were echoing in his head about how if he couldn't save his brother he would have to kill him.

So the last thing he wanted was Jo worrying about him. He didn't need her getting sucked into the Winchester family drama. So it left him more irritable especially as she smiled as she opened both of their beers and made herself comfortable on the empty bed. Because everything he touched got ruined and he didn't need Jo on the list of things he would bring ruin to.

He didn't know exactly what he said, but it was enough for Jo to look at him with angry brown eyes. She didn't slam the door on the way out, but unlike Ellen, who wished him goodbye, her daughter was nowhere to be seen the following morning as they parted ways.

"You're not ones for personal visits, Dean."

He took a swing of his beer to hide his wince. "Krissy asked me to stop by."

Jo only nodded her head. She didn't seem surprised or mad. She took a long sip of her beer. "In a weird twist of fate, I think I understand where my mom was coming from with wanting to hunt."

"You think she isn't ready?"

"Depends on what it is. She's good. She needs to learn. But with everything going on, one mistake wouldn't get her killed, but someone else."

"She wouldn't be on any serious runs. She's been doing real good on perimeter watch."

Jo smirked. "Dean, she acts like me. I'm sure I was embarrassingly cringy know it all on that first hunt."

A ghost of a smile came over Dean's lip. Sure, at the time, he had been pissed Jo had conned her way into the hunt. There were mistakes not from the tactical aspect. Clearly, she knew how to handle a weapon and was very pragmatic. She knew how to make a case file as well. He thought she could have done that for a living. He wouldn't have minded getting cases from her with how many details she put into it and catching patterns.

As with most first-time hunters, it was that tinge of cockiness. Jo had that in spades because of what she thought the job was. That urge to follow in her father's footsteps sometimes blinded them to the reality that not everyone should follow in their parent's footsteps.

"You handled yourself well. Impressed me."

Jo snorted. "I'm sure I did."

Dean played with the bottle cap. "You know I would look out for her, Jo."

"I know," Jo agreed. "But I don't want that on your shoulders."

Dean didn't know what to say about that. Maybe this was why he was avoiding Jo. She never bullshitted him. Even Cas went along with his plans and avoidance of things, but Jo wouldn't. If she had been here from the start then maybe he wouldn't be the way he was now.

He didn't have a response for her. The beer for once made his stomach feel heavy. He could feel it sloshing around. He left her cabin.

She didn't stop him.

Jo thought the camp was set up nicely. She didn't have much to compare it to as every camp she had come across got wiped out despite having walls. So the fact Dean has been able to keep a group of survivors alive and well with minimal attacks was a miracle.

On top of that, everyone seemed to be happy. There were kids laughing and playing. She would see groups of elderly knitting and gardening. There was a small school set up for education in Math, English, and even hunting.

This was a camp that would be written in the History books when hopefully this would end. Although there was the fear that maybe this wouldn't end. This was the new normal for the world. She didn't know what was worse knowing how things were before or growing up thinking things were normal.

But she was proud of Dean even if she knew that he didn't really have the option of not putting all of this on his shoulders.

This exterior Dean had built was not of the Dean she last encountered. In fact, Jo felt the only time she ever really got a glimpse of the real Dean was their first couple encounters when he admitted he was too far in his grief to flirt with her and they both admitted it was the wrong time and wrong place. But after that, in other encounters with Dean, she could see the performances he gave everyone.

And with time away, her crush for Dean had dulled. She grew up and became embarrassed by how forward she was. After all, the words that the demon possessing Sam taunted to her rang in her ears of her being a little schoolgirl that Dean only saw as a sister. The fact that Dean never called her after that incident was proof enough that she needed to grow up.

And she did. Despite what others had to say, she proved herself more than capable.

She paused in her walk around the perimeter to pull up the collar of her jacket to fight the chill. She needed to invest in a hat as her ears were getting cold.

The night was turning an inky black. Sometimes it was eerie with how dark the night could be not that there were no streetlights illuminating corners. She squinted as her eyes spotted an outline of a shape in the dying foliage surrounding the camp. She made the detour to what she deduced was an outline of a car.

More accurately the ruins of a car.

Her hand reached out and touched the frame of what she recognized as Baby. She had assumed Dean had put the car somewhere in storage. Most likely in the graveyard of metal at Bobby's place. She never expected to see the car gutted and empty.

The metal was cold and rusted. A dilapidated shadow of its former glory. Jo stuffed her hands into her pockets and resumed her walk around the perimeter.

And as much as things have changed, it seemed something hadn't as Jo watched two girls fight over some men including Dean.

Jo had already got sized up by Risa regarding Dean. She wasn't sure where that came from as Jo didn't deny that she knew Dean before through hunting, but that was all she gave away regarding any type of relationship with Dean. Nothing for Risa to feel threatened over. She had ignored Chuck's knowing eyes after that interaction. It was weird to know that he knew her before she even met him. He had written about her and Dean's first meeting and knew about most if not all of their interactions.

Although apparently what he wrote wasn't deemed good or important enough to be published.

The drama was a nice distraction. It provided a sense of normalcy from the world before.

And it was not always doom and gloom.

It was a particularly sunny day despite it leaking furthermore into winter. Jo wasn't listed for anything. She had a day off so to speak. She had found a small clearing with a picnic bench to relax on. She placed a blanket on the tabletop and relaxed.

She sighed feeling the warmth the sun was providing. She was going to miss the summer and being able to sunbathe in a bikini.

She couldn't have been laying out for more than 10 minutes when she heard the sound of boots walking towards her. She knew the person was being loud on purpose.

She knew it was Dean.

Things were different between them. She could admit with her arrival at camp she was avoiding him. She didn't really understand the reasons why. Just everything was so different and the history between them was so loaded. It was clear the Dean she knew wasn't the Dean that people knew. This Dean was colder. This Dean was a soldier.

It was easier to assimilate into the camp without being in Dean's shadow because she knew how Dean could be.

She knew he was avoiding her too so it seemed to be a mutual feeling. That was until Krissy. Jo knew she was being slightly overprotective when it came to Krissy. She knew what Krissy was capable of. Yet, as much as the girl insisted she was ready, Jo knew that Krissy was not ready for the long runs when it came to clearing out big department stores. There was more risk in coming across herds of many creatures. She didn't feel Krissy was there yet. The girl felt she had too much to prove and it could lead to mistakes. Jo knew that from experience.

She wasn't surprised Krissy had turned to Dean. Yet, somehow that had been the bridge to thaw whatever they thought was needed in not speaking to one another.

"Better be careful," Dean warned. "We don't have a stockpile of sunscreen."

Jo snorted.

The bench creaked beneath Dean's weight. She assumed he was keeping watch over her. She was sure that wasn't going to help with Risa's attitude. But Jo allowed herself to relax completely.

She liked how Dean was okay with the silence.

It was an impromptu run. As they found more people and the camp became more optimistic about the lack of accidents, they were longing for the old days. The celebrations of holidays and all the decorations that came with it. The camp needed arts and crafts essentially. Something that Dean didn't consider too much of a priority.

However, he was itching to get out of the camp. Besides, he never knew when they could come across a gold mine of goods.

With the rush of the run, it meant that he and Jo would be on the same run team. This one could only be for the most skilled people. They were going to be in and out. A quick run with no room for mistakes.

He wasn't surprised that it was all business with Jo. There was a nervous energy when they first got in his truck. Yet, Jo had slid in an REO Speedwagon CD, and the smile she had thrown him had unthawed that last piece of barrier between them.

He listened while Jo sang along with Kevin Cronin. He may have joined in on a song or two. During the run itself, he got to witness firsthand how much Jo has grown. He was telling the truth that she wasn't a bad hunter. It was clear she had the skills to be a hunter. She moved effortlessly through the store. She was able to quickly find what they needed.

He didn't have to direct or worry. He didn't have that same feeling he had on that first hunt with her in wanting to keep a strict eye on her. For some reason, he didn't know if he felt relieved or disappointed. What he did know for sure was that Ellen would be proud. He knew Ellen didn't support Jo wanting to hunt, but she was a natural. He couldn't imagine how Jo felt not having that true support for what she wanted.

But Jo was good out in the field. Better than anyone probably gave her credit for. It made him wonder if he had called Jo after Sam got possessed by Meg if things would have gone differently. He knew deep down probably not considering what the angels - God - had in store for his family. Yet, maybe the world wouldn't be in the state it was because of his circle not just being his brother. Maybe he could've shouldered the weight of the world better if he had the warmth of Jo at his side.

Dean laughed as Jo bounced over to his truck with a canvas bag under her arm. They had looted a Wal-Mart. She was proudly displaying a CD that had the Greatest Hits of Journey.

Dean didn't bother knocking as he pushed the door open to Jo's cabin. Since that run, Jo had seemed to become his number two. Even with Cas being his most trusted confidant, Dean never formally delegated he had a second in command. He didn't see the need to or maybe no one really fit the role in how he needed them to until Jo came back into his life.

That meant he needed unlimited access to his second in command. It meant more time for them together with their heads pressed together on how to really fortify the camp. How to expand and live again. Maybe Jo was thawing him a bit.

So he didn't see the point in knocking on Jo's door. They were going to have a quick meeting and she should have been there. What he didn't expect was to find Krissy and Aiden on the couch making out and hands underneath clothing.

Krissy didn't look apologetic, which almost made him snort. Aiden, on the other hand, looked as if he was going to shit a brick. It was nice knowing Dean could have some people cowering in his presence.

"Where's Jo?" He asked gruffly.

"Chuck grabbed her regarding a leaky cabin," Krissy informed him succinctly.

Dean nodded his head. He eyed the two teenagers and calculated his next move. Dean had a fondness for Krissy. She was eager to learn and be a part of the team. She had Jo's determination. He was slightly shocked that she would be making out with Aiden as she gave off an air of disinterest when it came to things outside of hunting and runs.

"How long has this been going on?" He asked looking back and forth between the two.

Krissy huffed. "Are we really doing this?"

Dean ignored Krissy's words as he turned and stared at Aiden. The kid looked back and forth from him to Krissy. "Do you want to deal with me or Jo?" Dean probed.

Aiden scratched the back of his head. "A month or so."

"Hmmm and Jo knows?"

Aiden's cheeks turn pink and he looked at Krissy for answers. Dean gathered Jo didn't know about the romantic aspect of this relationship.

"You guys having sex?"

"Dean!" Krissy yelled, her cheeks now an apple red.

"Hey, the last thing we need is an unplanned pregnancy. I can't tell you guys what to do, but you need to be safe." Dean informed them. He wasn't their parent and he was not going to try to be. He knew at the end of the day, they were going to do what they wanted in regard to this. The very least was they could be safe about it.

Krissy pursed her lips in a tight line. Aiden's leg was bouncing.

Neither seemed to want to answer. Before Dean could threaten sentry duty and maybe put them on shifts at the daycare, Jo walked through the door.

He watched as she assessed the room. "What's going on?" Her voice was cool, calm, and collected.

He looked at the two teens to give them a chance to speak, but neither seemed interested in volunteering.

Dean sighed. "Caught these two making out on the couch."

Jo raised an eyebrow. She threw a look that asked was that all. Dean wiggled his fingers indicating that their hands were definitely exploring.

Jo sighed. "Are you two having sex, Aiden?"

Dean watched as Aiden shook his head and Krissy's face turned sour.

"Aiden, I think it's best you go home," Jo said gently. "No more visits unsupervised for now."

Aiden didn't need to be told twice as he scrambled off the couch and out of the cabin. Dean was sort of confused that Krissy would be attracted to a guy like Aiden. But maybe Aiden was the soft edge she was missing in her life.

Jo kissed her teeth as she watched the boy scramble out of the cabin. "Do you have anything to say, Krissy?"

Krissy sighed deeply. "It was just kissing."

"I'm sure it was," Jo agreed. "But I don't appreciate you sneaking him into the cabin for the past two weeks."

Dean watched as Krissy turned crimson all the way down to her neck.

"We also know about the parties you teens throw in the woods," Jo added.

"That -...nothing happens there," Krissy said lamely.

"Yeah, I'm sure considering the bathroom brew Ollie makes really doesn't dull the senses." Jo countered back. Damn, Dean thought, Jo really was Ellen's daughter.

"So what's my punishment?"

"I don't know yet," Jo looked at him. "We'll have to figure something out. But for now, you can go in your room and work on the sigil assignment from class."

Dean hid his surprise at being included in this. Krissy didn't object as marched into her room.

Jo eyed the couch and scrunched her nose. "Do I even want to sit on that couch?"

Dean chuckled as he stood behind the couch. "They didn't get that far." Jo fixed the afghan on the couch and began tidying up the place. It seemed all very domestic. "You know you handled that well."

Jo paused what she was doing and looked up at him with a look of disbelief. "They weren't being as slick as they thought. Besides, I've done worst."

Dean had no doubt that Jo had done worse. He imagined how that went under Ellen's nose. "So you going to put her on sentry duty?"

"Nah, I was thinking about maybe two weeks at the daycare," Jo smirked. She stood next to him and leaned against the couch. "I mean as long as they are being careful, I'm not going too crazy about it. Considering how everything is…it's nice to know teenage hormones are still rampant in the apocalypse."

"I don't think hedonism is ever going out of style."

Jo nudged him with her elbow. "And you would know all about that, right?"

Dean snorted. Yes, the apocalypse didn't stop him from having a cold bed. He didn't think he would ever abandon his vices of alcohol and sex. At least with sex, it wasn't a selfish act with him. At least someone else was benefiting too.

He wrapped his around her shoulders bringing her to his side. "Well, at least I have you to keep me on the straight and narrow." Jo shook her head. "No one here is tempting you down the path of hedonism."

Jo rolled her eyes and he wouldn't be surprised if she saw her brain. "Be serious, Dean."

"I am. What?"

Jo shook her head. "Nothing."

Dean decided not to press her or the fact that she hadn't removed herself from his hold. He didn't want to ponder too much how she felt nice in his hold. He cleared his throat. It was time to get back to business. "So Krissy said you were dealing with a leaky cabin."

Even if they didn't keep track of the dates, Dean's body was just conditioned to know certain dates. He knew today was just November 2nd.

He knew he was in a foul mood. He had snapped at people for no reason. He was stomping around camp and people were giving him a wide berth. Worse, he could see people were hurt he had turned back into their cold, heartless leader.

But he didn't think time would ever dull the ache this day created in him.

Instead of souring the atmosphere, he marched back into his cabin. He grabbed his cache of weapons from his guns to knives. He decided to sharpen the knives and clean the guns not like he didn't do that at least every other day to kill time.

The sun was setting when he heard familiar footsteps coming up his stairs. The person didn't bother knocking as they let themselves in.

Jo walked in bringing in the cool air. She had a plate of food for him that she set in front of him. She pointedly ignored his huff of annoyance as she placed it in front of the gun parts he had laid out.

Jo took the seat opposite him. She didn't bother helping him clean his weapons. She only put her feet up on the table and leaned back in her chair. He was sure she got comments about his mood. The blonde probably got a full rundown of every misdemeanor he did today.

"I know I am an asshole, Jo."

Jo didn't disagree with his statement.

Dean clenched his jaw as he placed his gun down and looked at the dinner before him. The meals were simple. It was rice with some jerky. He took a couple of bites of the rice before he returned his focus back to Jo. She was cleaning her nails with her knife.

"Is it Sam and your Mom?"

Dean gave a broken sigh. He didn't even know at this point with his family. Everything was so complicated when it came to them. He didn't want to be a 34-year-old man crying about how he missed his mom. But he did. He didn't know what was worst the fact he still had some memories of what life was like before she died or the fact he got to meet his mother and learned she wanted out of this Life. She didn't want this for her family. Then her death propelled his dad on a path his mother fought hard to leave.

At this point, he couldn't really hold his anger at his dad for that. He could be angry about how his dad treated him and Sam. His dad took monopoly on the grief over their mom. His father acted like he was the only that lost her.

And some days he didn't know if he was jealous that Sam didn't have memories of his mom. He couldn't miss something he never had. Sure, Dean could talk about her and repeat that she loved him. But Sam only had an idea of who she was. He wasn't denying that Sam missed their mom. He knew Sam did in a way Dean wouldn't be able to understand.

"My whole family," he finally answered. Maybe that was the anger and guilt that came because he blamed his family. He tried to be the good son, the protector of Sam, and the perfect soldier for none of it to matter in the end. "You ever feel mad at your dad about being in the Life."

"Of course," Jo admitted. "Anger is a part of grieving. I still get angry. At both him and my mom."

"Really?"

"Yeah. I'm mad at my dad for just hunting. Mad at my mom for still operating a hunter bar, but then trying to stop me from hunting."

"But you wouldn't know the truth."

Jo clicked her tongue against the roof of her mouth. "Yeah, Catch 22, right?"

Dean hummed in agreement. "I think…I'm just mad at Sam," Dean admitted. He had been mad at his brother since he figured out he had gone to Ruby and allowed her to manipulate him to drink demon blood. He knew that Ruby took advantage of his brother. And at this point, the world was working against Sam to make the right choice. Dean knew that. He knew that Sam had been pushed to a decision that had already been set for him.

Yet, he didn't know why Sam would say yes. He didn't know why his brother would allow the devil to jump into him after everything.

"River Pass was the last time you saw him?"

Dean nodded his head. Now he felt shame and guilt because he didn't follow his dad's orders. For once, Dean wanted to be selfish with his pain. He couldn't sweep the pain of Sam's action under the rug.

"It's okay to be angry, Dean. Angry and sad. The two are like mutually exclusive."

"I'm sorry. I didn't tell you about it," he told her. He knew Cas had been the one. No one really knew about Sam. Most knew he had a brother, but most of the camp survivors didn't know the full context of how the Winchesters played a role in this new world.

Jo gave him a small smile. "Just don't be afraid to talk to me, Dean."

"I'm sorry about your mom."

Since Jo came to camp, she hadn't mentioned anything about her mom. He only got that she was gone. She never divulged the details and he wasn't going to press.

Jo went quiet as her fingertips tapped the tabletop. "I'm sorry about Bobby."

Jo moved up from her chair to give him back his privacy.

"Stay." He said before his brain realized what he had done.

"You sure?"

Dean nodded his head as he finished his dinner.

Jo stayed the rest of the night.

Dean didn't really have off days. There was something that always needed to be done. Having idle hands shouldn't be a concept. However, somehow, Cas had somehow managed to give him a couple of free hours at least once a week, on what they concluded was Sunday. He decided to ignore Cas' reasoning behind that.

He preferred not being in Cas's sex cabin so the fallen angel would come over to his cabin. They usually just played cards. The currency was candy, toilet paper, and beer. However, Dean had been weary of placing beer as a wager considering Cas' not-so-hidden pill addiction. Still, Dean did happen to enjoy those couple hours of playing cards especially as Cas did get gradually better. His poker face still sucked ass though.

"You've been spending a lot of time with Joanna Harvelle," Cas stated bluntly. They had switched to playing Go Fish of all things.

Dean picked up a card. He wasn't going to answer a question Cas already knew the answer to.

"Risa's been pissy lately too," Cas added.

Dean rolled his eyes. It wasn't even as if they were exclusive. Dean didn't want to be an asshole about things, but he never made Risa any promises. Besides, it wasn't as if he slept with every newcomer that came into the camp. He wasn't that much of a leech. "Are we gossiping now?"

Cas didn't respond as he picked up a card.

Dean scowled as a thought popped into his head. "And don't try to recruit Jo for your orgies."

Cas' lips twitched. "I'm all about consent, Dean."

Dean raised an eyebrow. He didn't want to think too deep how angels thrived off consent despite it leaning on the dubious side, but demons didn't.

"You know Dean, sometimes good things do happen."

Cas had told him those words before and Dean tried to cling to that.

But look where it got him.

Christmas came quickly and they were rewarded with a White Christmas. The kids were out laughing and having snowball fights. They were able to pick up various toys and gifts for parents to pick through for small gift exchanges. The adults were keeping watch and making sure that they kept up traditions with the decorated trees, Yule log, and Egg Nog.

Dean thought about the last time he celebrated Christmas with Sam. He knew Sam did it more for his benefit than anything. And when he came back from Hell, they didn't do anything.

Dean did partake in some of the festivities. He knew that there was a party happening for the teens and young adults. Jo had been the force behind that one as it was happening in the bar they had set up. It was basically another version of the Roadhouse. At first, he didn't see the benefit to have a bar built. Yet, it helped with morale and was a hot spot for people to wind down at.

Dean was trudging along the perimeter as he didn't have much to do. His Christmas gift was to actually have a day off as if that could ever happen. So he was making sure everyone on watch was doing their job. He was going to probably head to his cabin and drink the bottle of Jim Bean Cas had gotten him.

"I thought we told you no work today?"

Dean turned to find Jo in a new pink knitted beanie with a matching scarf courtesy of Krissy, who had also knitted him a black hat and scarf.

"Just enjoying a nice walk."

"Sure," Jo said not believing him.

"Shouldn't you be at the party?"

"Not my age group, Dean," she replied. "Besides, I need to give you your gift."

Dean frowned. "I thought we agreed to no gifts."

"And what made you think that I would listen?"

"You're a pain in my ass, Jo," he grumbled as he followed her to her cabin.

Dean tapped his snow-covered boots and quickly unlaced them. He placed them on the rug next to Jo's. She had disappeared into her room for his gift. He wandered into her kitchen hoping she had some beer. He was surprised to find a six-pack.

"Merry Christmas."

Dean turned to find Jo holding out a wrapped square present. He raised an eyebrow as he accepted the lite gift. He knew from weight and shape alone that it was a vinyl record.

Dean tore off the piece of wrapping paper and he immediately recognized the crumpling wall of the album art.

A six-pack. Zeppelin IV.

Dean smirked. All that was missing was the pizza.

"Is it still the wrong time, wrong place?" Jo asked.

Dean licked his lips as he placed the album on her countertop. He was quick as he swept Jo in his arms. He pressed a bruising kiss onto her lips, which she eagerly returned.

He repeated Cas words to himself on a loop.

Good things do happen, Dean.

[write-nerdy-to-me]

~ destiel fic, hurt/comfort, 1k words, for @castielsdisciple​  

“Be still,” Dean murmurs to Cas when he flinches away again. He’s tried to minimize how much he pokes and digs, knowing what a bitch it is to be on the business end of pliers, but he can’t help that some of the shards are buried deep. He waits patiently as Cas takes a large swallow from the whiskey bottle he’s clutched like a lifeline, then Dean picks out yet another broken glass piece and drops it into the cup next to his hip.  

It couldn’t have just been a cut-and-dry D-list case, because life — this life especially — doesn't work like that. It was inevitable for shit to go sideways on them, and it’s laughable, fucking inane Dean ever dared to think otherwise. (“Good things do happen, Dean,” Cas said to him once. Dean’s still not convinced that's true.) 

Dean doesn’t know what it is about Cas, but the monster, like, fixated on him. The whole night, no matter how hard Dean fought to get the ugly bastard's attention, it kept going after Cas. Then monster grabbed and fucking bodily tossed him out the window and let out a roar that felt like it shook the whole house; Dean's only felt his heart leap into his throat like that a few times. He didn't get time to even process what happened because the monster, having taken out one opponent, turned and advanced on him. Dean had to finish the job alone, not knowing if Cas was even still alive. He ran to find Cas lying on a patch of wood chips, shattered glass surrounding him like a halo. Those few short moments felt like several lifetimes as he slid to his knees next to Cas, who was winded and aching and breathing. ("You alive?" Dean asked, and Cas huffed out a pained laugh and flipped him the bird. "Yeah — yeah, you're alive, you asshole.") 

Dean could swear that Cas has a deathwish or something because the reckless motherfucker refused to be checked out at the hospital. Dean insisted that he needed to go, as only so much could be done with the sparse supplies they had. They argued, and in the end, Cas’ stubborn glare won out. If he was gonna be like that, then Dean figured the sooner they get a move on and save Cas from his own bullheaded stupidity, the better. The last thing they need is Cas getting an infection. And the way he climbed into the Impala, slow, graceless, hiding his winces and grinding his teeth, only further proved that they should head to the hospital, but Dean held his tongue.

The ride back to the motel was, to say the least, unpleasant. In their room, it’s not much better. 

For the past hour now, Dean’s painstakingly removed a myriad of embedded glass and wood shards from Cas’ back, wiped away the blood, and applied ice to the welts that have already turned angry and dark. Cas hasn’t said a word since their fight— that disagreement back at the old farmhouse, but Dean's talked plenty for the both of them. He’s lost count of how many times he’s repeated this mantra: Be still, be still. How many times it’s followed by tiny plinks of glass and wood into a plastic cup. Dean would think Cas finds it patronizing — insulting, even — if it weren’t for the way the coiled tension in Cas’ shoulders starts to ease whenever he speaks. If it makes this process easier for him… well, then who’s Dean to deny him?

“Be still. I know, I know. I’m sorry.” Another glass piece. Plink.

The A/C unit in the corner kicks over with a wheeze. Cas says, “I don’t deserve this,” in a voice so hushed Dean would’ve missed it if he wasn’t sitting right behind him. 

Dean’s hands stop, just for a moment. Plink, plink. “What are you talking about?”

Cas sighs. “I don’t deserve this. Your attention, your care, your lo—” He cuts himself off, arms coming around his middle and shoulders hunching away from Dean’s hands. A soft hiss escapes his lips as the motion tugs sharply at his wounds. He sounds like wishes he could take back the words the second they leave his mouth and hates himself for it. “Your kindness. I don’t deserve it.”

How could Cas think so little of himself? Believe himself so unworthy that he shouldn’t even receive the most basic care? But Dean gets it, maybe more than Cas realizes. “That’s bullshit,” Dean says mildly. Plink. 

“Dean...” Cas starts to shift further away from him, and that won’t do, because he needs to listen, needs to hear what Dean’s telling him, and he won’t if he’s already sinking into himself. 

“Don’t, I’m not finished,” Dean admonishes quietly. “I’m serious. Don’t move.” He touches Cas’ waist and— and he just stills with a shaky breath. If this were any other time, Dean would dwell on how Cas caves at the slightest touch initiated from him, how he always just lets him.

When it seems like Cas isn’t on the verge of bolting, Dean says, “I know there's something about this case that got to you bad — don’t think I didn’t notice, man.” Hunts aren't easy, and unexpected bodies turning up are never something a good hunter takes lightly, but Cas seemed to take each one like a devastating blow. Dean tried to press Cas about it, and he shook off Dean’s worry and pretended that everything was fine. Dean doesn't have to be a good hunter to know Cas was lying. “Why won’t you talk to me?”

Cas turns his face away. “There’s nothing to talk about.” A beat. Then, “I think you’d be better off hunting with Sam again.”

The fuck? Taken aback, heat starts to crawl up Dean’s face. Part of him wants to be angry — hell, he kinda is, underneath the hurt — but he takes a breath and lets it out slowly, for once grateful Cas is facing the other way. “I like hunting with you. Besides, Sam's got his club going on, and anything with Eileen he likes to be involved.”

“Maybe you should have a different partner. One that doesn’t fuck up.”

“Everyone fucks up,” Dean says defensively. “Cas, if this is about what you did, you’re already forgiven for that—” 

But Cas isn’t listening. The dam's busted open. “I’m supposed to— I used to be an angel. My powers, I could... I could help you, I could help Sam, but now I can’t — I can’t even do that.” Cas covers his face with his hands, rakes them roughly up through his hair. “I’m — I’m useless.”

Dean’s heart clenches sharply. He knew that the fading powers and subsequent loss of them had been hard on Cas, but Dean didn’t know it was affecting him this badly. Then he feels like an asshole, because of course this was, for fuck's sake. “Cas…”

Cas turns around, winces as he moves too quickly. He touches Dean’s face with gentle, hesitant fingers. There are scrapes and cuts Dean hasn’t taken care of yet, too occupied with making sure Cas doesn’t get a damn infection. Cas’ eyes grow sad; his brow furrows. “I miss— With a touch, I could heal you. I wouldn’t need you to care for me this — this way.” 

“Cas, man, you gotta know that it’s never been about your powers. You’re not a-a tool, Cas. All I want— It’s just you. I told you, man. I’d rather have you. Nothing’s ever gonna change that.”

Cas is quiet for a minute. “Your faith... I've always admired it. How you put your trust in people. You're a good man, Dean."

"Yeah, well." Dean clears his throat. "Gotta make up for all the bad shit I've done, right?"

Cas hums, unconvinced. He grabs the damp rag that held the ice, shaking out the remaining pieces. He doesn’t seem to care where the ice landed. "Let me?" 

Dean almost says no, he's fine, but something in the way Cas looks at him... "Okay."

Cas wipes away the dried blood on Dean's face. Lately, he and Cas would be arguing, if they weren’t busy giving each other the cold-shoulder. It’s not the first time they’ve been at opposite ends or had disagreements — Dean refuses to say they bickered — not by a long shot. It’s just... been a while. Dean thought they were past petty fights. Now, though, they fall into a comfortable silence, for once not thick with tension from the unsaid. 

Cas’ thumb traces over the scar on Dean's chin, and he says, a hopeless look in his eye, "I love you. Did you know that?"

Dean just breathes and touches Cas' wrist. "Cas..."

"You don't have to say anything. I just thought you should know."

Dean tugs the rag out of Cas' hand. His mind is taking a second to reboot. But he knows — he knows he needs to kiss Cas right now. "C’mere," he mumbles and cups Cas' face between his palms and presses their mouths together. When they separate to breathe, Dean says, “It’s always you, Cas. You know that.”

“Tell me anyway.”

“I love you.” The smile Cas gives him is soft and crooked and still sad. Dean’s not stupid; he knows things with Cas are rocky at best, but it’s a start. “Now turn back around so I can get the rest of the junk out, asshole.”

[orionsangel86]

Lets talk about the Bare Minimum

Okay guys, obviously there is a huge divide here among those of us that are super positive and excited and those of you that are really doubtful the finale will give us anything remotely worthwhile. So lets break this down okay? Perhaps it can get us all on a fairly level playing field?

What is the absolute bare minimum the Supernatural Finale can give us to satisfy us?

Everyone will have different ideas of course, but if we dismiss all our wildest dreams and high expectations and consider the fact that yes, this is still Supernatural and they do tend to run on a mix of batshit crazy, profound and poetic beauty, and things seemingly falling into place so perfectly it was clearly 100% accidental (eg: The Monster at the End of this Book) then we should probably try to find a centre point. A point that we can use to gauge how the episode will fair overall.

So what is the bare minimum?

Castiel returns

This is it. This should be the bare minimum we should expect in order to make this finale meaningful.

If we are given nothing else, Cas returning should be enough for us to nod and say “okay Supernatural. You tried. You got him back. He was there for the finale. That’s the main thing.”

If Castiel isn’t back and the finale is just Sam and Dean driving around looking for generic MOTW hunts like in Season 1 in some sort of bronly wet dream, that would be a massive anticlimax and miserable way to end the series. It will be the worst ending of a show since GoT.

BUT we know Misha filmed 20. I will hear no more to the alternative. Misha filming 20 is and always has been a fundamental FACT.

So Castiel returns. Bare minimum met? Right? Of course there are caveats to that key point.

Castiel returning in flashback form only, or as a memory or dream, whilst the actual Castiel still remains in the Empty is NOT an acceptable option. If the show takes this route, this is still below the bare minimum. This would be deemed a failure in my opinion just as if the finale is just Sam and Dean being bros on the road.

What really needs to happen for the bare minimum to be met, is for Castiel to be rescued from the Empty. Whether that is by Jack, by Dean, or by himself or some other means, Castiel must return from the Empty to fix the only actual loose end not tied up in 15x19. We should also finally get the Empty being sent back to sleep, because having just binge watched episodes 12-18 all in one week, let me tell you, the amount of times it is repeated that the Empty desperately wants to go back to sleep is a LOT. From what I have been told, the Empty isn’t even mentioned in 19, so that is the only plot point actually still hanging over the series.

Of course, had Castiel not confessed his “homosexual feelings of love” for Dean in 15x18, then at this point I would have said that the bare minimum I needed was for Cas to be saved, and for Dean to give him a heartfelt hug and a look of love and to say “lets go home” off into a future where we know the story ends with Dean and Cas together in an ambiguous relationship. (Honestly, for a long time, this is the ending I thought we would get).

But Dabb and Bobo have written themselves into a very specific corner.

Castiel’s confession was not ambiguous. Because of this, the big question hanging over the final ever episode of the longest running genre show on TV, isn’t about whether the heroes will stop the big bad, it isn’t whether or not they will live or die, nope, it’s whether the lead male character will reciprocate romantic love for his “equally male” (Note - I’m talking in terms of mainstream here don’t @ me) best friend. The big question Supernatural has gone and put to its audience is “is Dean Winchester also in love with Castiel and therefore, is he also queer?”

This is an unpresedented situation that the show has put itself in.

Because of this, the bare minimum is no longer just Castiel being saved. It’s also Dean answering that question that the show has put to us.

Castiel must be saved, and the love confession must be addressed. These things are the key points going into this final episode. If either of them are glossed over in any way, the show would have fundamentally failed it’s audience, its characters, it’s cast, and everyone involved in it. Given how optimistic and happy everyone who works on the show seems to be currently, I highly doubt that is the case.

So. Castiel must be saved, and the confession must be addressed. Do we accept Dean rejecting Cas?

There is I suppose, a very slim chance that this could happen. If the Network let their own homophobia get to them (before you come @ me, no I don’t consider the CW’s many young attractive lesbian characters to let them off the hook for years of avoiding any non stereotypical queer men. IT’S TOTALLY DIFFERENT) then they may have greenlighted Cas’s queerness whilst refusing to do the same for Dean. They may consider simply saving Castiel and therefore #resurrectingyourgays as enough to satisfy the queer viewers, even though Castiel’s love was not returned. Perhaps in the final episode we will get a flashforward to years down the line and Cas has got over Dean and is living it up with another man? It’s possible right?

It would also cause utter outrage in the fanbase. Dabb and Bobo are far more savvy than fandom gives them credit for. I personally think that had the network said no to Dean reciprocating Castiel’s love, then Dabb and Bobo would have kept it ambiguous, and simply strongly implied that they end up together in an ending like the one I always thought we would get when my hopes for Destiel were at a low point.

So Dean reciprocating Castiel’s love also falls under the bare minimum requirements for the episode to be a success.

How they go about showing Dean reciprocating Cas’s feelings I don’t know. Do I absolutely need a kiss? No. It’s not a bare minimum requirement. Anything beyond Dean simply telling Cas he loves him back and Cas smiling at him is a bonus. Perhaps they could show it the way they showed Jesse and Cesar in 11x19. Through affection and care, but no actual kisses.

Whilst I personally believe we will get a kiss, it’s not a bare minimum, and if we don’t get one I will still be satisfied so long as we get all of the following:

Castiel is saved from the Empty

Dean reciprocates his love

Dean and Cas end up together (whether that be to live lives together on Earth, or both go out fighting and reunite in heaven together. Whatever the case, they must end up together)

My 3rd point here is the only other bare minimum requirement I need to not feel like they have screwed it up. I don’t care whether Dean and Cas end the show alive or dead. What I DO care is that regardless of where they end up, be it Earth, Heaven, or even Purgaytory, they are together. They must end the series together.

There are of course many other things I want. I want Cas to give up his grace (by choice) and become a human (I really wanna see him in Winchester plaid at least once!). I want to see them slow dancing like Garth and Bess did in 15x10. I want Sam to reunite with Eileen and also get a happy ending. I hope they get to keep the damn dog too. Ideally, I want a soft epilogue, because these boys are good people, and they’ve suffered enough. Whatever else may happen though, so long as those bare minimum requirements are met, I will consider the ending a resounding success.

Personally, I don’t think I’m asking for much.

[kagesdumpsterfire]

The Winchesters: Season 1 Episode 1

I don't know if any one else prepared themselves for the pilot like I did (probably so) by watching all the important John and Mary lore centric episodes. I'm glad I did though, because it gave me a nice refresher on important elements of each of their pasts. Not to say I didn't already know their story (I've watched every episode, minus 15×20, at least 4 times so...) but it was like having a good cram session before a test. That being said I have a few thoughts on the pilot that I wanted to write down. Mostly for me to go back on in the future to see how my opinions may have changed. Anyway, SPOILERS AHEAD

CHARACTERS

ADA

Starting off with Ada because the least is known about her, but I like her so far. Strong, mysterious, smart, has worked with MOL before, owns a rare bookshop (which, let's be real here, for a black woman in the early 70s is impressive as hell). Vey much looking forward to seeing more of her.

MILLIE ( Momma Winchester)

Definitely giving Ellen Harvelle vibes. Strong, Independent but bitter. I sympathize with her, of course. She thought her husband ran off on her then her son goes off and lies about his age to join the military, not knowing for 2 years if he would come back alive. I'd be bitter too. But between her and Henry, it's easy to see secret keeping and lying to "protect loved ones" is definitely a Winchester genetic curse. Honestly I'm nervous to see what is going to happen to her, considering she's almmost never (if ever) mentioned in SPN.

LATIKA

I like her. She's vey sweet, if not a bit naive. We know that Samuel saved her life somehow which is how she got involved in everything and that she's known Mary for over a year but inexperienced in actual hunting. She's a pacifist and easily frightened, which doesn't bode well for her hunting career, but very eager to get out onto the field. Of all the characters so far though, she's to one I'm most concerned about. Her devotion to Samuel, coupled with her naivety and pacifism is a combo that could easily get her killed. I hope I'm wrong, but this is the SPNverse so...

CARLOS

Love him. He definitely felt like the most in-place character for the time setting. And being openly bisexual in the 1970s? Legendary. He's very aloof, obviously a player, hippie "free love" vibes. He got into hunting after his family was slaughtered by a gouhl. Something happened between him and Mary ( macking on her ex and bailing on a hunt of some kind) but he apparently carries a torch for her. I like that he has a takes charge vibe and obviously believes in a "hands-on learning" approach when it comes to hunting. He seems to have a lot of faith in people's abilities to suprise themselves. My only concern is that his additude is going to get someone killed. I also feel like there is going to be some tension bettween him and John regarding Mary in the future.

* note: This is about the character. When regarding Carlo's actor, they are nonbinary and use They/Them pronouns*

MARY

She's vey much Mary Winchester. Some people might not agree, but I think most people are looking at Mary the mother, Mary the wife, not Mary the young daughter of a hunter. Mary the young girl who wanted nothing to do with hunting but had no choice. Mary the young girl who is still in mourning over the death of her cousin, a death she blames heself for. Pre John, Pre Sam and Dean, Pre Azazel Mary. We're seeing a Mary who isn't responsible for anybody but the people she saves. A Free Mary if you will. But still her. She's a badass fighter, which she always has been. She has a caring quality to her but is still standoffish in a way. She would rather walk away from human confrontation than talk it out (Same ole Mary) and she definitely acts before she thinks. Now, I've had a multitude of mixed feelings on Mary ever since season 12 of SPN, mostly veering towards frustration. She's not a simple character, she never has been. She has layers and not every layer is all that likeable. But one thing about Mary that I do respect is consistency. Did she try to be a good mom, a good wife? Yes. Did she always succeed? Hell no. She has always had a layer of defiance and selfishness hidden under whatever mask she was wearing at the time, even when it came at the expense of others. But she also has always had a need to protect. I'm not going into how I felt about her abandoning S&D in SPN because that's an essay in and of itself, but overall I can say I definitely feel like they got Mary's characterization right in TW. Hopefully they'll grow with that.

John Winchester

*deep aggravated sigh* John motherf*king Winchester. The hardest thing we are all going to have to accept about this series is that this is pre Azazel John and therefore, not the ruthless SOB that we love to hate. Truth is, when we first met the Wichester parents in season 4 of SPN Mary described John as sweet, kind, and someone, who despite everything, still believed in a happily everafter, everything a hunter isn't. That is the John we are going to be seeing. Now, I am , in no way, trying to be a John apologist. I personally think he should have stayed in hell after what he did to his children. I will make no excuses for the man he became. However, this is him before he became that man. That being said, I'm still not sure I like him. He's obviously suffering from severe PTSD after watching his friend get blown up and needs to talk about it. Not just say this is what happened, but actually sit down with someone and talk about it. I realize it's the 70s and therapy wasn't as readily available as it is today (which casued a multitude of problems irl after 'nam with messed up soldiers but I digress) but jesus christ Winchester, get some therapy. Because of this he has an obvious death wish. Right off the bat he puts himself in danger without any knowledge of how to handle what he is facing. He also has a "White Knight" complex that I cannot stand (and again have seen in real life soldiers fresh out of combat so bravo for accuracy there). He is very cocky, and sure of himself, which is going to put someone in danger. He's flirtatious (we all saw the Latika scene) and while not neccesarily a bad trait, it will most likely cause a distraction that isn't needed in a time where focus is necessary. I definitely see traces of the John we know. Looks like he always had trouble of letting go of the past at the expense of others, very on brand. I can definitely see where Dean was coming from when he said Sam was just like their father. It's interesting for sure and I'm reluctant to say this but, I'm ready to learn more about him.

STORY

It's alot. Like a lot. It feels like they did their damndest to pack as much exposition in as possible which made for and extremely fast pace3 pilot. There wasn't a whole bunch of down time in the episode to reflect on things which can be a good thing, midseason, but was a little wonky for the pilot. We got introduced to a few new characters as well as reintroduced to some old ones with some glimpses of backstory and it honestly could have been split into two parts to ease the pacing but overall I'm intrigued.

Some key points:

John's PTSD is definitely going to bite them in the ass, though it was interesting to see he always had a willingness to bleed for mary when he cut his friend's cross out of his arm.

Samuel leaving Mary and Deanna alone to go off on a hunt seemed off. I realize it was used as a plot device to tie in with SPN but it felt...hmmm....I'm just not sure I like what certain fans will do with the " finding Mary's dad narrative. Iykyk.

The man who handed John his dad's letter and dissapeared was 100% an Angel. You can't change my mind

Driving to 3 different states in the first episode was a lot but apparently this group is used to it, John however seemed so willing to leave home and travel with them, which made me feel sorry for Millie.

They have a monster box and a lot of info on how to use it due to the library and the MOL club house, which was cool and I want to know more about this stuff but everything was so sped up I couldn't get a grasp on everything they were doing and saying. I'm sure it will be explored more.

While it isn't the first time we've seen that the MOL have used monsters/creatures as guard dogs for their things, I almost wish it would have been a previously known monster. I actually have a lot of complaints about the loup-garou but that's neither here nor there.

I hope to see more of Carlos and Mary's beef regarding that hunt and they don't leave it slightly vague like they did with Bobby and Rufus. I also want to know more about how Samuel saved Latika.

The Akrida. Are we talking Aliens, dimentional creatures, or underworld here? I have a feeling they are going to be a key plot point in why John seems oblivous to everything once we meet him. I'm definitely intrigued, if not a bit apprehensive, but we'll see.

I, personally, enjoyed the little details about John and Mary's first meeting they put in there. Slaugher house 5. Cup of coffe. All that good Jazz, it was nice. I'm still bothered by Zachariah saying they hated each other at first and forever bothered by the random patron of the diner from In The Beginning telling John to say hi to his old man for him, when Henry dissapeared when John was a child, but it's still the pilot so, there's time.

DEAN😭😭😭😭😭

I'm not going to sit here and predt3end I didn't tear up hearing his voice. I'm sure as hell not gonna pretend I didn't cry actually seeing him on my screen again. I was born into this fandom a Dean girl and since nothing in the SPNverse never truly dies, it looks like a Dean girl I shall remain (with occasional Castrash moments obviously).

PRODUCTION

Glorious. The shots in Louisiana were beautiful, I enjoy the music accompaniment and that it isn't so loud that it overtakes the dialogue *coughcough* but gives the scenes a nice ambiance. Hearing Dean's song over John's dialogue made me feel a type of way but I'll let it slide. The lightning is very bright and Campy but that's just how most everything is shot now. And it wasn't terrible. Literally my only complaint from a production stand point is some things about Mary's costume (she looked more like Claire Novak's twin sister that Mary Winchester. We need the Farrah Faucet hair) and the damn loup-garou. It looked like and ROUS from the Princess Bride. There is no known lore on it other than how to kill it. I get that it's a pilot and budget sacrifices have to be made somewhere but it was just...ugh. literally my only real complaint. I could deal with every minor detail that didn't fit my expectations because this is the pilot and really, who am I to be picky, this show wasn't made SPECIFICALLY for me and me alone, but that damn loup-garou was not it. Overall production, not just "for a pilot", but as a whole, was stunning when you consider that Jensen and Danneel have NEVER done this before. Bravo.

ACTING

I've already seen people commenting about the acting in the tags and some of it hasn't been terribly kind. I saw someone liken it to disney acting. Which, IDK couldn't have anything to do with the fact that Meg was a Disney channel actor, could it? Give them a break guys. They did a good job. Acting isn't easy and I, spending the majority of my childhood and teen years being a stage actor, saw no glaring issues. I was very impressed with the acting for a pilot. Let's face facts here guys its not like the SPN actors were ALWAYS on the ball either. Jensen was a soap opera star ffs! This is their first episode together. You gotta give them a chance to get to know each other. Damn, it's not like they stared into the camera or broke character or gave middle school play vibes. I'd be more concerned about their acting skills if they had been doing this for umpteen seasons and were internationally known super stars, but they did better than A LOT of CW actors on tv today. They did good. I'd like to see some of you go out there and do better. It's a pilot not a finale.

Final thoughts

Overall, I really enjoyed it, and not just for it being part of the SPNverse. I honestly think i I would probably watch it as a stand alone for it's subject matter and genre. I think Jensen and Danneel did a wonderful job. I'm looking forward to putting my bias against John aside and actually learning more about the Winchesters' past. Definite 7.8/ 10 for a stand alone pilot (-0.2 for the pacing and - 2 for the damn loup-garou) and a solid 8/10 for something from the SPNverse.

Will we learn more about the The Akrida and their plan to destroy existence as we know it?

Will we get more backstory on our new characters?

Will anyone ever explain why the random patron told John to say hi to his old man for him when Henry had been missing for years?!?!?!?

Tune in next week for: Kage rants about The Winchesters To Almost Nobody But Themselves, to find out.

[wilbur-rabbit]

We are Soulmates - Sam, Dean and Cas' POV

Criminal Minds / Supernatural Crossover

Summary: When you get arrested by the FBI Sam, Dean and Cas do everything they can to get you back.

Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x Reader (Aaron isn't in this chapter)

Word Count: 2294

Chapter 1

Warnings: cursing

A/N: This is a short story based on 'We are Soulmates' that goes through what happened in the first chapter from Sam, Dean and Cas' point of view. I recommend reading chapter one first. I hope you guys enjoy it!

Sam and Dean had stayed behind when Y/N had decided to follow Krissy and her friends to kill the vampire. Neither of them was particularly fond of the idea of you going off on your own but you insisted that you had it. Even after all these years they still felt protective over you.

Several hours later, Sam and Dean had gotten nowhere with the foster dad. They felt in their guts that something was off about him, but they didn’t know what. Both ready to call it a night, Dean got out his cell phone prepared to call Y/N to see how things were going with Krissy, when suddenly Krissy and her friends’, Josephine and Aiden, barge through the front door. The three of them talking at once, making it impossible to decipher what they were saying.

“Okay!” Dean yelled out. “One at a time, Krissy what is going on?”

Krissy took two heavy breaths before launching into the events that occurred after they found the vampire. How Y/N had found them in the barn right after Krissy had killed the vamp that had murdered her father, to them hearing several cars pulling up and Y/N telling them to go and get the Winchester’s. When Sam and Dean heard that Krissy had seen agents with FBI vests on when they had run out of the barn, dread settled into their chests.

Right after Krissy finished her story and Sam and Dean had gotten all that they could out of them, they left heading back to their motel room to try and come up with a plan.

The impala was quiet, both brothers thinking of ways to fix the mess they have found themselves in. Dean was the first to break the silence.

“How did this even happen?” he asked his hands gripping the steering wheel tighter. “It’s our job to protect her. We shouldn’t have let her go off on her own.”

Sam glanced over at his brother. As soon as they had heard what happened to Y/N, he knew Dean would blame himself. It didn’t matter how many times you had gone off on your own on a hunt and been fine. They couldn’t have known this one would be different.

“She’s going to be okay,” Sam reassured. “She’s been in worse situations before. She can handle this.”

Dean slammed his hand down on the steering wheel, “She’s never been arrested by the fucking FBI! They found her standing over a decapitated corpse. They aren’t going to just let her go.”

They had just pulled into the parking lot of their motel and Sam waited until they parked before he responded, wanting to give Dean a moment to calm down.

“I understand that she hasn’t dealt with this before,” Sam said in the reassuring voice he always used with people when he wanted them to stay calm. Dean looked over and glared at him picking up on his tone, which caused Sam to sigh. “Okay, look, I know this is a fucked-up situation Dean, but we will get her out of it,” Sam said. “We need to call Cas and let him know what he is going on. We could use his help. Then I think we should head back to the bunker.”

“You want to leave her here?” Dean said incredulously.

Sam rolled his eyes, “I have an idea that might work, but we are going to need Cas and ingredients that we have in the bunker to do it.”

Dean sighed while pinching the bridge of his nose, “Fine. I’ll call Cas. You grab our stuff so we can check out and leave.”

As Sam was packing up the car Dean stood a few paces away waiting for Cas to pick up the phone. They hadn’t talked in a while and Dean felt bad that he was only contacting him because something was wrong. Communication was something he need to work on.

“Hello, Dean,” came Cas’ deep voice through the phone.

“Hey, Cas,” Dean replied. “How have you been?” Dean didn’t want to automatically start off with the bad news, plus he genuinely wanted to know how Cas was doing.

“I’ve been good. I just finished a hunt in Nebraska,” Cas said. “Vengeful spirit. I’m heading back to the bunker now. How are you, Dean?”

Dean wanted to ask how the hunt had gone and why Cas didn’t just come along with them if he planned on hunting, but he stopped himself. Their current predicament was more important.

“I’ve been better,” Dean said with a sigh. “Actually, that is why I called. Y/N was arrested by the FBI.” His hand that wasn’t holding the phone rested on his hip as he looked to the ground. “Sam has an idea on how to get her out, but he says we need to go back to the bunker and that we will need your help.”

Cas is silent for a moment surprised at the turn of events. “Of course. Whatever I can do to help,” he said.

“Thanks, Cas,” Dean replied happy to have Cas’ help, even though he had known Cas would be on board as soon as he knew Y/N was in trouble. “We are currently in Bloomington, Indiana, but we are getting ready to head that way.”

“Okay, good. I will see you at the bunker,” Cas said.

“Sounds good. We will call if we get an update,” Dean responded. “Bye, Cas.”

“Goodbye, Dean.”

As they started their drive back to the bunker Sam explained his plan.

“Archangel grace can be used to jump dimensions, right?” Sam asked even though he and Dean both knew that was true. Dean nodded anyway. “So, what I was thinking is that we, in theory, should be able to use Cas’ grace to open up a portal to where Y/N is. We can go through, grab Y/N and bring her back.”

“Do you even know if that will work?” Dean questioned, glancing at Sam.

“Well,” Sam started. “No, not exactly.”

“So, we have a half-assed plan that we don’t even know is going to work and is taking us farther away from where Y/N is currently locked up?” Dean asked in disbelief.

“I don’t see you coming up with anything,” Sam said, his voice rising.

“Yeah, cause you said you had a plan–,” Dean is interrupted by his phone ringing.

“Hello?” he barked not even looking at the caller ID.

“Dean,” you breathed on the other line and Dean was so relieved to hear your voice. “Where the hell are you?” he knew he shouldn’t let the panic into his voice so you would stay calm, but he couldn’t help it.

“Is that Y/N?” Sam asked. Dean nodded before taking the phone from his ear and putting it on speaker.

“I’m at the police precinct,” you said relieving both men. They hadn’t voiced it, but they had both been afraid they would move you to somewhere with higher security, especially if the feds found out that you were involved with them. They hoped for your sake it didn’t come to that.

“We know what happened and we are so sorry. We should have gone with you. We are going to find a way to get you out. We aren’t sure how, but we will. Oh, and Sam is here too.” Dean said having to get some of the guilt off his chest. Obviously, he knew that Sam had a plan but given the fact that they had no idea if it would even work, he didn’t want to give you false hope. Plus, if their call were being monitored it would be better if the feds didn’t hear what they were planning. Not that they would necessarily believe it.

“Hey Y/N/N. How are you holding up?” Sam asked.

“Hey Sammy. I’ve been better.” You chuckled, but there was no humor to your voice. “It’s bad. I don’t know if I’m going to get out of this one.”

Dean’s grip on the steering wheel tightened and Sam squeezed his eyes shut. They could both hear the fear in your voice, and they hated that they couldn’t do anything but reassure you that it would be okay.

“Hey, none of that. We’ve been in situations worse than this. We will find something. You just need to hang in there. Don’t admit to anything,” Sam said. Dean glanced over and saw the determination on his face. The look made him feel more confident that they would be able to get you home.

“Okay. Yeah, I won’t.” you responded, and they could hear the hope that Sam words had given you.

“I got a hold of Cas earlier,” Dean said. “He is heading this way too.”

“Good. I’m glad he will be back with us,” You said.

“It’s going to be okay. We will figure something out.” Dean repeated.

“I know. I trust you guys. It’s just…” You paused. Sam and Dean waited for you to continue, but when you didn’t, Dean reassured you again.

“We know. We’ve been there.” Dean said.

You were still quiet and the brothers glanced at each other, wondering what was happening on the other side of the call.

“Should I ask for a lawyer?” you questioned suddenly.

Dean turned to Sam, “Well, should she Sammy?”

Sam gave his brother a glare at the nickname, making Dean roll his eyes. Apparently, it was only okay if you called him that.

“It would probably be better if you did. We have had them in the past. That way they can’t try and pull a fake confession out of you,” Sam advised.

“Maybe I should just tell the truth,” You replied. Both of the brothers’ eyes widened, surprised that you would want to tell the FBI about the supernatural.

“That is always a tight rope to walk,” Dean cautioned.

“Yeah, you should really think about that before you do,” Sam added.

“You might be right,” you said, but you sounded slightly dazed and distracted. “I have to go. They are wanting me to get off the phone.”

“Okay. Just be careful. We’ll figure this out.” Dean said.

“I know you will. I–I love you guys.”

Hearing you say those words softened the two men that thought of you as a sister. That wasn’t a word the three of you, or even four counting Cas, used that often and at hearing you say it in a stressful time like this, like you weren’t sure when you would see them again, made the brothers realize that they need to say it more.

“We love you too, Y/N.” Sam said softly.

“Yeah, we do,” Dean confirmed.

With a quiet goodbye you hung up the phone.

Once Sam and Dean got back to the bunker, they saw Cas’ ’78 Lincoln Continental parked in the garage. Dean was relieved to see it no matter how much he hated the car. The boys grabbed their duffels and headed into the bunker. Cas was sitting in the library, several books laid out on the table as he searched through them.

“Hey, Cas,” Dean said, setting his bag down on the side of table not covered in books. Cas looked up at the two men.

“Hello, Dean. Sam.” Cas replied. “I’ve been searching, trying to find something that can help us, but I have not been particularly successful.”

Dean pulled out a chair that was across from Cas. “Well, that’s okay,” he said sitting down in the chair. “Sam has a plan.” Sarcasm dripped from his tone.

Sam rolled his eyes, pulling out the chair next to Dean’s. “My theory is that if we can use archangel grace to jump between dimensions, we can use angel grace to teleport to other places here on Earth.” Sam told Cas.

Cas squinted his eyes and tilled his head. “In theory that could work.” He said, causing Dean to grunt. “I have never tried it, though. Not long ago I wouldn’t have needed a teleporting spell to go anywhere in the world.”

Dean sighed; his head tilted back so he was facing the ceiling. “Okay,” he said, looking to Sam and Cas. “If we do this and it does work, I’m going.”

“No, you’re not.” Cas said. “Y/N is with the FBI, who you have been on the wanted by for years and still would be if they didn’t think you were dead. I’m going”

Dean sighed, knowing he was right as much as he hated it. “Fine. Let’s do this.”

The three of them went to work finding the ingredients to the original spell. A pile of bones, dried herbs, cuts of wood fungus, and a pinch of dark powder, were all found in the storage room of the bunker. They added in a lock of Y/N’s hair that Dean grabbed from your hairbrush, so they could direct the spell toward your location.

After having everything assembled it was time for the final ingredient. Cas took the knife that Dean held out to him. He brought the knife across is neck letting some of his grace flow out into the small glass bottle that Dean held up to him. After the glass was filled, Cas brought his hand to his throat, healing the wound with a glow of light from his palm.

Dean took the bottle and pored it over the bowl that held the other ingredients. As he poured the grace into the bowl Sam chanted in Enochian.

“Mah ray, fah doh, em lah. Kah day, em lah. Kah day, em lah!”

There was a flash of light, before the portal formed in the room. A crack glowing a dark gold. Cas looked to Sam and Dean for a moment before he walked through the portal, disappearing from the brothers’ view. Now all they could do is wait.

[one-more-offbeat-anthem]

endlessly

or, the one-shot that wouldn’t get out of my head where jack is a baby, cas is back, and he and dean have a talk. s13 :) this is a long one, so part of it is going under the cut! 

--------------

Things are strange. 

Of course, things are often strange in Castiel’s life, especially these days. For one, he just got brought back from the dead. For another, he rode in the passenger’s seat of the Impala on the way back to the bunker. Sam drove, because when Dean tried to drive, the baby in the backseat--Jack, that’s Jack--started crying, and Dean had to switch spots and let Jack’s tiny hand wrap around one of his fingers. Only then did Jack stop crying.

As soon as they got back to the bunker, Dean went to put Jack to bed, leaving Castiel in the kitchen with Sam. That’s where Castiel is now, watching Sam putter around, cleaning up things that don’t need to be cleaned. There’s clearly something on his mind.

“You and Dean should talk,” Sam finally says.

“We usually do talk,” Castiel replies, unsure of what, exactly, Sam means. 

“I mean, really talk. Look--” Sam stops, grabs two beers out of the fridge and slides one across the island to Castiel, before continuing. “Dean gets...things get bad for him when you’re gone. Without Jack to take care of, I think he would have...” Sam doesn’t finish the sentence, but Castiel has a feeling he knows where it was headed. 

“Is Jack always like that?” Castiel asks.

“Obsessed with Dean? Yeah. I mean, things are still kinda complicated with Mom, and I’m not great with kids, but Dean...” Sam sighs. “I mean, he had to take care of me constantly when I was a baby. He’s always been really good with kids, better at expressing himself. And he and Jack...I mean, if Dean’s not with him, Jack gets really upset.”

“Wow,” Castiel says. He remembers a few years ago, helping Claire out, and how quickly Claire and Dean cottoned onto each other. And stories he’s heard from before he knew the Winchesters (sometimes it’s hard to believe there was a time in his life before them) where kids had been involved on a hunt and Dean saved the day.

Perhaps it’s only natural.

“But yeah,” Sam takes a deep swig of his beer. “Go find him and talk. I bet Jack is asleep by now.”

“Right.”

Castiel still feels odd, wrong-footed, though. It should be easy to talk to Dean--Dean’s one of his best friends, someone he would do anything for, has done anything for. 

But he’s also Dean, someone who can be complicated and feels things deeply, and if he’s been feeling bad enough to contemplate--

Castiel doesn’t know what to say to that.

He finds Dean in his room, sprawled out on the bed with a sleeping Jack next to him. There are beer bottles and a couple of whiskey bottles littering Dean’s nightstand, an overflowing wastebasket in the corner.

Sam was right. Things haven’t been great. 

Dean’s eyes flutter open when he hears Cas enter and he sits up, saying softly, “I know sleeping with babies can be bad, cuz I read one of those books you got, but he just...” Dean turns his gaze to Jack. “He doesn’t go to sleep unless I do this.”

Castiel nods.

Dean carefully scoops Jack up and carries him over to the crib in the corner of the room. The whole scene is both painfully domestic and painfully Dean, and it causes something in Castiel’s chest to twinge. 

“But he’s out like a light now,” Dean says. “He’s already better at sleeping, it’s like he knows I don’t get much even without a crying baby.”

“Hm,” Castiel agrees. “Dean, can we talk?”

“Uh, sure? Let’s go somewhere else.” Dean takes one last look at Jack’s swaddled form and then leads Castiel out of his bedroom and to another room, which Cas has never been in before and is barren except for some armchairs and a foosball table.

“What’s this?” Cas asks as they settle into the armchairs.

“It’s...I dunno, a rec room or something. Thinking of putting a TV in here so we could watch movies. I’ve been calling it the Deancave and Sam has been getting annoyed with me.” Dean cracks a smile at a that. “Whaddya want to to talk about?”

“I, uh...” Castiel shrugs. “Sam just said I should talk to you.”

“Dirty traitor. Of course he did.” Dean frowns.

“We don’t have to if you don't want to, I just thought--”

“No, no, this’ll--I need to say this shit.” Dean swallows, before saying, “So, do you remember, about a year or so after we met, when we were trying to get the Colt back and gank Lucifer?”

“I do,” Castiel says, now completely unsure of where Dean is going with this.

“Well, I...I got zapped to the future. Or a future, I guess, by Zachariah. It was...2014 there, the world was overrun by this plague and zombies, Sam was...gone, he had said yes to Lucifer for good, and I met another version of myself who was...he wasn’t a great guy. Pretty cold and ruthless, willing to use people he cared about as bait or put them in harm’s way. He didn’t care about much anymore.” “I assume I wasn’t in this world?” Castiel asks.

“No, you were.” Now Dean looks genuinely pained. “You had lost almost all of your grace, and you spent your days...drinking and doing drugs and having sex. You had lost the trench coat and you were...different. You still thought I was pretty cool, though, and the other Dean, the Dean from that you’s time, he hated that.” 

“I see.” Something is coming into focus.

“You were Cas, but you weren’t my Cas,” Dean says, the emphasis on the my weighty.

“Was this the same night that you told me to never change?”

“Yeah,” Dean sighs. “It was. Something that the other you said, it just...it hit me. And I couldn’t let that happen to you, and I couldn’t let myself be the guy that made it worse. He said that the only thing you and that Dean had left was each other, that if the other me said it was time to go, then you would follow him. And I tried to talk to the future me about it, ask him why he was willing to put you in harm’s way just because you would follow him. He...he didn’t have an answer.”

“I have changed, though, Dean,” Castiel says after a moment. “And not in a bad way.”

“Yeah, but you coulda become that guy.” Dean’s fidgeting now, uncomfortable. “Anyways, after that it was...yeah. You know how things went, you were there. A lot of shit went down, and I tried not to think about that future I saw.”

“I see.”

There’s a vast, empty silence in the room as Castiel contemplates what Dean has told him. He wants to ask follow-up questions, figure out what, exactly, Dean means by what he’s said, but it’s rare that Dean is so open and calm about it, and Castiel doesn’t want to break the spell. He wants Dean to, what’s the phrase? Level with him. 

“And then we went to purgatory,” Dean continues suddenly. “And I spent a year looking for you and found you all dirty and scruffy--you still had that trench coat but you looked like him. I was...starting to realize something, I guess? I mean, Benny helped me find you, and one night we were just hanging out, doing stuff, and he asked me what my deal was about you. I told him, I said you were one of my best friends, hell, just straight-up my best friend.”

“And what did he say?”

“He said I was full of shit, that no one spends a year in purgatory for a friend. I told him to shut the hell up, but he was right.”

This isn’t happening. This would never happen, because Castiel has heard that it won’t. The Empty’s words from when he was dead echo in his head.

I know who you hate. I know who you love. There is nothing for you back there.

But maybe there is.

“There isn’t any use in trying to hide it from you,” Dean says. “You saw all the bottles. Every time you leave...I tell myself it’s because you’re like family, and you are, but not quite--” 

Castiel is tired of waiting, tired of having a weight lodged in his chest, and he hates how agitated and small Dean looks, so before he can fully think out what he’s doing, he’s standing up and then leaning over Dean’s chair, his face inches from Dean’s.

He waits.

“There’s--there’s no way,” Dean says, breathless. 

“There is.” Castiel swallows, hopes he hasn’t miscalculated.

He determines a moment later when Dean seizes him by his collar and pulls him all the way down into a kiss that he did not, in fact, miscalculate. 

It’s clumsy and messy, because of the angle and the nerves and all of the waiting, but Castiel doesn’t particularly care, and he’s getting the impression that Dean doesn’t, either. 

“Please don’t leave again,” Dean whispers into Castiel’s neck when they finally separate.

“I won’t,” Castiel promises. “Although I still can’t promise to never change.”

“That’s a good thing,” Dean replies. “I know that. Now.” 

Castiel doesn’t sleep, but when Dean finally heads back to his room to check on Jack and then try and get his four hours, Dean grabs Castiel by the trench coat sleeve. He stays, takes the pair of pajamas Dean sheepishly offers, finds himself curled around Dean in the big bed that doesn’t seem so big anymore. Neither Dean or Jack wake up all night. 

Castiel may not sleep, but he does sink into a fairly deep meditative state in the quiet darkness of Dean’s room. He “comes to” an indeterminate amount of time later to see that the room is empty, save him, and that all the bottles and trash are gone.

He pads into the hallway, still in that pair of Dean’s pajamas, and hears voices coming from the kitchen. He follows them to find Sam sitting at the table, talking to Dean, who’s standing at the stove with Jack swaddled and wrapped to his chest. Castiel feels his face reddening as his chest expands, and he makes a beeline for the table and sits across from Sam.

“I see you had that talk,” Sam whispers, grinning. 

“We did.” Castiel can’t help but smile back.

“Anyone not want bacon?” Dean asks from the stove, and Castiel and Sam both shake their heads. 

Castiel could get used to this, and he hopes he gets the chance to. 

[writingfromkitchenator]

Gabriel ~ Karma

Alphabet Challenge Masterlist (700 Followers)

Masterlist

Based on imagine found here by @spn-imagines-nation

Words: 1,617

Warnings: Female Reader, family fighting, mild angst, fluff, making out

Sam was looking at you guilty, while Dean just sat there looking unimpressed.  You were breathing hard, having just yelled at them, your face flush with anger, your hands clenched by your side, and you hated was that all you could smell was the stale air of the motel room.

“Well?”  You snapped.

“Well what?”  Dean asked.  “You really expect us to answer that after you just blew up in our faces?”

Your stomach boiled in anger, making you feel slightly nauseous.  “Do you two care about my privacy at all?”

“Of course we do,” Sam said quickly, earning an eye roll from Dean.  “We’re just trying to be careful at the moment because of-”

“Bullshit!”  You snapped.  “You’re being as overbearing and protective as you’ve always been!  I hunt with you for fucks sake!  I’ve taken down werewolves and vampires and demons! I think I can handle my own fucking personal affairs when it comes to guys!”

“We know that,” Dean shrugged.  “But you’re still forbidden from sleeping with any of them.”

Dean was so lucky in that moment that he was your brother, otherwise you had little doubt you would’ve done something far worse that call him several less than pleasant names before storming from the room and slamming the door after you.  They tried to call after you, tried to chase after you, but you were far quicker than either of them.

When you’d finally stopped running, and your heart had stopped pounding in your ears over the effort and your anger, you kept walking, kicking a stone along the ground, muttering under your breath.  The nerve of the two of them to be involved in your personal affairs when you ensured you more than stayed clear of theirs was astounding.  To go into your private things too!  It wasn’t like you didn’t know how to take care of yourself.

“I was starting to wonder whether something had happened.”

You sighed, running your hand through your hand as you stopped, having completely forgotten about what you’d been getting ready for when you had found your brothers in your things.  “I’m sorry Gabe.  I just…I just had a massive fight with Sam and Dean, made me completely forget about things.”

Gabriel smiled and shrugged, wrapping an arm around your shoulders so the two of you could walk together.  “That’s alright sugar, I know how family can get.  Are you alright?”

“No,” You huffed, staring at your feet.  “I may as well be grounded again, like some damned teenager.  I really think you were right when you said I should set out off on my own.”

He gave your shoulders a slight squeeze.  “Hey now, don’t go making rash decisions when you’re emotional, that’s for those two to do. I’m not saying not to get away from them of course, but make sure you think it over properly.  I don’t want to be responsible for throwing you to the wolves.”

You give him a sidelong look.  “I thought that’s what you were for?”

Gabriel chuckled, his eyes twinkling at you.  “I’m there to protect you from said wolves’ sugar, not hand you over to them.  I wouldn’t have asked you on a date if I was just going to do that now, would I?”

Smiling, you shook head. “Sorry about ruining it.”

“Ruining it?”  Gabriel scoffed.  “Are we not on a nice romantic stroll right now?”

“I’d hardly call it romantic when I’m upset and you’re comforting me,” You said, a little bitterly. “Believe it or not Gabe, I was actually really looking forward to tonight.  We both know that we’re been dancing around this for a long time.”

Gabriel’s step faltered for a moment before he sighed, smiling at you affectionately.  “And here I thought that you hadn’t noticed.  Well, I guess we’re just going to have to make it up to each other, huh?”

You returned his smile and kissed his cheek softly.  “Yeah, I can do that.”

As his cheeks flushed, an idea came to him, one that he knew would make you feel better, a grin coming to him as his eyes sparked mischievously.  “Oh, I have just the thing sugar.  It’s going to get a little revenge on those brothers of yours too.”

You didn’t ask many questions, you decided it was better not to, putting all your trust into whatever Gabriel told you to do the next day.  You weren’t talking to your brothers, but you still went along with them as you began tracking down a few witnesses for the latest hunt.  Dean seemed unperturbed, but Sam kept glancing between the two of you, as if wanting to say something that might return some peace to your small family.

Eventually, several witnesses later, and it led the three of you to a bar, where another had agreed to meet you, and you were tasked with getting drinks.

As you waited for the bar tender, someone slid in next to you.  “You’re looking a little lonely there.”

A retort was quickly lost on your tongue as you looked at Gabriel, having expected anyone else, but now you suddenly knew why he asked you to keep him up to date of your movements for the day.

He was waiting for the perfect opportunity.

You smirked.  “Lonely is not exactly the word I would use.”

Gabriel winked at you, his grin widening.  “Well, I’m sure I could fix that.”

A small curl of nervousness washed over you.  “They don’t know it’s you?”

He shook his head.  “As far as they are concerned, I’m just a very good looking stranger.”

“Uh huh,” You giggled a little, ignoring the bar tender as the drinks were placed in front of you, your entire attention on the angel.  “Well, I’m glad I can still see you properly then, because I much prefer you like this.”

Gabriel beamed.  “Come here then sugar.”

Sam and Dean had quite successfully been talking to the witness, completely distracted by it until Dean went to take a drink from the drink he didn’t have.  He frowned, realising you hadn’t come back yet and instantly looked around for you, Sam quickly realising the same.

“Oi!”

Gabriel’s arm had pulled you close, wrapping securely around your waist, his other hand resting on the back of your neck.  Your hands were bunched into his shirt, holding him as close as possible, and right in that very moment, the prank itself didn’t even matter.

The two of you had kissed before but nothing was comparing to this.

It was hungrier than the two of you had originally intentioned, lips moving together effortlessly, tongues teasing the others, and even as commotion broke out near you, neither of you could find it in yourselves to care.

At least until Dean’s fist made contact with Gabriel’s jaw.

“Dean!”  You screamed and quickly stood in the way, not allowing him to get any closer as Gabriel rubbed his jaw, still looking no less amused at the fury in the Winchester’s expression.

“Keep your hands of my sister,” Dean growled, his eyes flashing dangerously.  “And I suggest leaving now.”

Gabriel shrugged.  “If I go, she goes.  The two of you did interrupt our date last night after all.  We were simply trying to catch up for lunch.”

Dean’s narrowed on him. “Who the hell do you think you are? You will stay-”

“You will stop butting in!” You snapped, squaring off to Dean as his eyes locked onto you.  “I have a right to be happy Dean.”

Dean stared at you for a long moment, a lot of things suddenly going on behind his eyes, Sam gently resting a hand on his shoulder.  “Come on dude, leave her be.  Let her have this.”

There was a tense moment as Dean still doesn’t move, before he grunts, and grabbed the drinks that you’d all but forgotten about.  “You could’ve at least brought our drinks over first.”

Sam grimaces and gives you a nod, before hurrying after him, noise slowly returning to the bar, making you huff.

Gabriel chuckled as his arm returned around your waist, his lips pressed against your ear.  “Come on, let’s get out of here.”

You let him lead you and once the two of you were well out of earshot and eyeshot, Gabriel started laughing.  You knew you should be too, but you couldn’t help but stare at the red mark on his jaw.

“Are you alright?” You asked, making him stop and look at you, smiling.

“Of course I am,” Gabriel pulled you to him, kissing your forehead.  “I’m an archangel Y/N.  It takes much more than a punch, even from Dean Winchester, to even wound me.”

You finally sighed and smiled.  “I have to admit, that was not the reaction I was expecting.”

His eyes shone, even as he beamed.  “No, but it worked.  Damned good dose of karma for them.”

You chuckled and nodded. “I wouldn’t call it karma, but I suppose seeing your sister making out with someone will have some sort of lasting effect, no matter how much they try and forget it.”

Gabriel winked at you. “Shall we go somewhere private and continue that lovely session?”

Heat flushed your cheeks, even as you laughed.  “Is that the date make up is it?”

“Something like that.”

You shook your head, still smiling, taking his hand.  “Sam and Dean are going to be so angry over this.”

Gabriel shrugged.  “It doesn't matter, what does, is that they will remember.  Remember not to mess with my girl, that is.”

Smiling, you kissed his cheek again, making him beam and quickly lean in to capture your lips again, the two of you almost instantly disappearing.

[kisses-for-cas]

Summary: When a witch hunt forces the Winchesters to go undercover in a suburban neighborhood, Dean finds himself fighting with his upcoming feelings for a certain angel. To be more precise: the angel, who currently pretends to be married to his brother Sam.

Ships: Dean/Castiel

Word Count: 8,200

Read on AO3

Tammy has lived in this neighborhood for almost 30 years – she raised her kids around here and now is enjoying her well-deserved retirement with her husband Harold. And if she knows one thing for certain, then it’s this: there’s something wrong with the new neighbors. It’s not because they are gay, Tammy tells herself. She believes herself to be quite open-minded, one of her nieces is actually a lesbian. It’s something else, but she can’t quite put her finger on it yet.

The men moved in today, only a few days after the last tenants died in a horrible and tragic accident involving the lawnmower and a malfunctioning electric wire. Tammy doesn’t like to admit it, but she always knew those two didn’t fit the neighborhood. Sarah brought it up several times at Sunday Brunch, and as it turned out, the entire neighborhood held a grudge against the deceased couple. At least the house still looked well enough to get sold almost immediately again.

It’s hard to catch glimpses of the movers, but she catches a few sights as she stretches out of her bedroom window. One of them has dark hair and is wearing a tan trenchcoat, the other one seems to be taller and is coated in a flannel shirt. Not really the type to be moving into this street, but they might turn out to be nice. She tries to keep an open mind, she tells herself, even though she doesn’t understand how somebody could possibly move while wearing a trenchcoat.

Shortly after dinner, the doorbell rings, and Tammy almost jumps forward to get it. Sarah told her she’d call once she had a proper talk with the new neighbors, but the phone’s been quiet so far. But to her surprise, it’s not her friend in front of the door, but two handsome men holding a basket with muffins.

“Hello, you must be Mrs. Philipps. We’re the Winchesters,” the taller of both says, as he holds his hand out. Tammy shakes them politely, as she smiles at them.

“Tammy is fine, and my husband Harold is probably already asleep in his lounge seat,” she jokes as she shakes their hands. The man in the trenchcoat seems a bit more reserved, but he still gives her a small smile when she looks at him.

“Nice to meet you, Tammy,” the other man says again. “I’m Sam, and this is my husband Cas.”

5 days earlier

“Lawnmower accident?” Dean laughs, as he re-reads the headline again. “Well, if this isn’t our kind of thing, I really don’t know what is.”

“Exactly what I thought,” Sam replies, turning his laptop back to himself. “Apparently there were several deaths within the last 10 years in this neighborhood, and all of them were classified as accidents.”

“All over the area? So less likely a spirit, and more like –“

“Witches?” Sam finishes his brother’s sentence. “Probably, the victims weren’t exactly popular in the area. One of them had a kid, but the couple wasn’t married. Another person wanted to move in with her wife, but she died before she could. Seems like they are most likely targeting people, who don’t fit the community.”

Witches and conservative suburbs sure aren’t Dean’s favorite things in the world, that much is sure. But if people are in danger, there’s no way he’d let them down. Especially, if he might get to kill some fundamentalist witch.

“Huh, so what we’re thinking? I’d say go undercover, but brothers usually don’t go buying some white picket fence house in a conservative neighborhood,” the older Winchester proposes, while settling back in his seat. He remembers how they tried to infiltrate that neighborhood so many years ago and how the salespeople kept mistaking them for a couple.

“I thought Eileen and I could maybe do it, but her leg isn’t healing as we hoped,” Sam thinks out loud, wincing at the thought of his injured girlfriend. The recent werewolf hunt was tougher than expected and left Eileen’s leg badly hurt. Cas tried his best to heal her, but she was still struggling.

“Maybe one of us could team up with Mom?” Dean suggests but cringes once the words leave his mouth. “Urgh, never mind. I’m not very strong on the Oedipus thing.”

“What about me?” Cas chimes in, all eyes turning to him. Dean didn’t even realize the angel entered the room. “Since we are not related, it might be less awkward to pretend a relationship.”

Dean is left more or less speechless, as he babbles incoherent words. He likes Cas very much; they are best friends for a reason. But pretending to be in a relationship? Heaven and Hell have been teasing them for years about their “profound bond”, so they might even get away with it. But Dean’s stomach twists uncomfortably at the mere thought of calling Cas a pet name or holding his hand in public.

“Uh-Uh, no way I’m getting fake-married to Cas!” Dean protests once he finds the ability to speak again. His reaction was apparently a bit harsh, judging by the looks both Cas and Sam give him.

“Okay…,” Sam sighs, drawing the word out in a long breath. It sounds like he wants to say more but instead turns to face the angel. “Castiel, would you like to pretend-marry me?”

Dean can feel a blush creep up his neck, as he stares at his brother. It’s the reasonable thing to do, but it just feels wrong. Nobody ever questioned their status as friends, and Dean can’t even picture the both of them acting in love. When he thought his stomach felt bad before, he’s now actually feeling sick.

He’s close to suggesting a fake relationship with their mom again when Cas simply nods to answer Sam’s question. “Of course, Sam. I mean, I do.”

The two share a hinted smile as if they are both part of a joke Dean doesn’t get. The sick feeling still doesn’t leave him, as he stands up from his seat. He must have eaten something wrong today, that’s the only logical explanation.

“Well, Mazel Tov to you guys then,” Dean mutters, more to himself than to the other men. They don’t even look at him when he leaves the room behind.

———————————————————————————————–

“I still think this is a stupid idea,” Dean protests, as he puts the meatloaf in the oven. Somewhere behind him, he knows Cas is preparing the salad and Sam is busy fluffing some pillows on the couch.

“We need to connect with all the neighbors, and a housewarming party is the easiest way to do so,” Sam replies annoyed. He and Cas introduced themselves to everyone in the neighborhood, but nobody seemed guilty so far. Cas tried his best to “sniff the witch out” but only found some kitchen herbs in the local gardens and a loud laugh from Dean, when he explained his plan to search for witch-like smells. So far, they had no clue who the responsible party could be.

“Dearest, could you make space in the hallway closet for the coats?” Sam calls out to Cas, and Dean almost burns his hand at the stove. He had a few days to adjust to the idea of Sam and Cas pretending a relationship, but the term of endearment still surprises the hunter.  

“What’s next? You’re gonna kiss goodbye on the porch when Cas drives to work?” Dean snaps at his brother, who seems confused by the sudden anger.

“If the situation needs it, sure…,” Sam replies, but Dean interrupts him before he can continue.

“What the hell, Sammy? Dearest? What kind of weird pet name is that even supposed to be?”

“The one Sam and I agreed to,” Cas replies drily. The look in his blue eyes leaves no space for any further discussion. “This act is completely planned out, and we can’t risk our standing because you are having trouble adjusting, Dean.”

Just as Dean wants to argue again, they are interrupted by the sound of the doorbell. They can only hope nobody heard their yelling, the last thing they need is unnecessary gossip from the neighbors. Cas and Sam waltz towards the front door, while Dean stays a few steps behind them.

“Hello Tammy, Harold. Welcome to our humble home,” Sam greets the guests, as the couple enters their hallway. Cas takes their jackets from them, hanging them in the biggest coat closet Dean’s ever seen. Well, at least the house got some perks. Before he can think more about the architectural features of the house, his brother calls for him.

“This is my brother Dean,” Sam introduces him, and Dean tries his best to give a fake smile and nod politely at the boring stories the neighbors tell him. This is going to be a long evening…

—————————————————————————————-

“Well Ladies, let’s begin Sunday Brunch,” Irene happily pronounces, as she raises her mimosa in the air. The other women do the same, cheering each other. It’s the first Sunday Brunch after the Winchesters moved to the area, leaving more than enough gossip material for the group.

“They seem nice enough, but I heard Sam is unemployed. He just sits around all day at home and waits for his Cassiel to come back home!” Jennifer complains with a deep sigh. It’s no secret she isn’t the biggest fan of the new couple, but even she can’t deny the quality of the served meatloaf at the housewarming.

“His name is Cassiel, dear,” Beth replies, eying the salmon pieces hungrily. “They said Sam’s working in IT and can do it from home. Clearly, an excuse, if you ask me.”

The gossip continues happily: Tammy found out they only have one toothbrush. Irene asked about Cas’s job, and apparently, he’s working in a nearby library. And all of them agree, their marriage is weird. Whenever Sam touched his husband, it felt unnatural, and they didn’t kiss once the whole evening.

“We need to address the elephant in the room,” Sarah sighs, and the group’s attention draws over to her. She’s been quiet so far, which means her news are far bigger than everyone else’s: “The brother.”

“If I were only twenty years younger…,” Beth starts, earning a peal of laughter from the women around her. “He’s very handsome, that’s true.”

“Yes, and I think Castiel would agree with you there,” Sarah speaks, before taking a long sip from her teacup. The reaction is immediate, as all the women start talking at once. The Winchester barely lived a week in the neighborhood, but they already produced the best gossip they had in a while.

“Do you think they are having an affair?” Tammy asks shocked. Of course, she had felt the tension between the family members, but she blamed it on the stress of moving. But now that Sarah suggested it, it seems like a possible explanation.

“We can’t be sure yet, but I bet something is going on. Dean surely looked rather unhappy every time he saw Sam touching his hubby. And Cas got some serious heart-eyes for his brother-in-law.”

“Besides,” Irene steps in “their marriage just seems – off? There’s more sex happening in the way Cas looks at Dean than in his marriage bed with Sam”

“Irene!” The shocked gasp from the elder women makes the other guests laugh, as they refill their mimosas.

“Oh, poor Sam,” Tammy sighs, fiddling with her wedding ring. Being cheated on must be awful on its own, but having your husband fool around with your own brother? That’s a new level of tastelessness.“

“Anyways, have you seen Mrs. Ericson’s new haircut? Just awful…”

——————————————————————————————

Dean excuses himself early from the housewarming party, not knowing how much more of the charade he could have handled. He expected to get some blackmailing material for his brother, it was supposed to be a funny sight after all. What he didn’t expect was the burning sensation on his inside, as he regarded the play right in front of him.

He’s still mad about the whole thing, and how caught up both of them were. It’s one thing to hold hands and present in the couple in front of others. But Sam calling Cas by a pet name in private? That’s just unprofessional, even Dean knows that. And then Sam told him, he would even kiss Cas if the situation needs it…What the hell was that even supposed to mean? Nobody is going to force them to kiss, the party guests are all far too old to play “spin the bottle” anymore.

Would Cas even kiss back, if Sam initiated a kiss? The angel doesn’t seem the type for physical affection; hell, he only lost his virginity a few years ago! The image of Cas pressing Meg against the wall, kissing her passionately, popped back up in Dean’s mind. And then the image changed to Cas and Sam in the same manner…God, Dean’s gonna have to swallow some holy water to get rid of that mental image.

Carefully, he watched the way his brother and his friend interacted, and the sight made him feel uneasy. He thought it was a stupid idea for them to fake a relationship because it would just be weird. But now that he was watching the way Cas’s hand rested on Sam’s lower back, Dean realized it’s something entirely else: he’s jealous. It’s not a feeling he knows very well; after all, none of his relationships ever lasted long. But as he watched Cas laugh at one of Sam’s stories, their sides pressed together – it’s setting something inside of Dean loose.

If he hadn’t acted like a child, he might have been the one standing beside Cas at that moment. He would have been the one holding his hand, laughing at his jokes, and maybe even pressing soft kisses on Castiel’s cheek. Nobody would even question their act, he’s sure of that. And then his mind kept wandering, back to the memory of Cas showing off his kissing skills. Except now it wasn’t Meg, but himself getting pinned against the wall.

Dean’s not stupid; he knows he likes men the same way he likes women. It’s been a long journey to finally find self-acceptance, but he’s finally contempt with it. That doesn’t mean he’s going to buy pride stickers and tell everyone around him he’s bi. No, it’s his secret and he’s the only one who needs to know about it.

He also knows Cas’s vessel is very attractive. But those two things – his attraction to men and his profound bond with Cas – were never something he considered might be related. But thinking about Cas kissing him – it’s something Dean never knew he wanted that much. When the sight of the happy couple got too much for him to bear, Dean excused himself to get a drink. Only then he remembered they are actually on a job, and he’s supposed to be on the watch out for possible bad guys.

And he’s totally going to do that.

Once he had a proper drink.

——————————————————————————————

“Please tell me your stupid charade is at least getting you somewhere,” Dean groans, once Cas is settled in his seat across from him. They decided to meet up in a close diner to discuss their next steps, while Sam is hacking the public security cameras from their house. Dean refuses to call it their “home”, hating the implication it’s setting.

“There are a few people we can surely rule out,” Cas replies, stirring some sugar into the coffee mug Dean pressed into his hands. “On my drive yesterday, the energetic waves were much stronger at the end of the street.”

“Great, so what’s next? You and Sammy going to play house for some more weeks, until we finally got our suspect?”

Dean can only hope the hunt will be over rather sooner than later. He barely slept the night after the housewarming party, his mind racing with thoughts. Not even liquor helped to drown them out and the night left him feeling not only exhausted but more upset than ever.

Castiel releases an annoyed groan. “Can you just…you’re undermining this plan at every given opportunity, and Sam and I are getting worried you might risk the entire thing.”

“I just want,” Dean starts, the words twisting in his throat. He knows exactly what he wants, ever since seeing Cas and Sam casually holding hands and snuggling on the couch. But at the same time, he knows it’s something he can’t have. Angels aren’t supposed to have emotions, he knows that. But when he catches Castiel’s blue eyes carefully watching him, Dean can’t help but feel a spark of hope.

“Do you ever think things could be, you know, different between you and me? Maybe we could be…more…or…”

“Dean,” Cas replies, his name sounding almost like a prayer from his lips. “Are you saying…”

“Well, hello you handsome fellas,” a sudden voice snaps them back to reality and when they look at its owner, Beth is smiling at them. “I thought it was you, so I just had to pop in and say hello.”

“Hello then,” Dean grumpily answers, his eyes focused on the table before him. Of all possible times, Beth had to disrupt them just now. He remembers the way those nosy neighbors had eyed him at the housewarming party, and how it made him uneasy. But then again, he only had eyes for Cas that evening.

“Aren’t you supposed to be at work, Cas?” Beth asks, an obnoxious tone hidden under her sweetly sick smile. Right, Dean remembers, they told everyone Cas works at the library. Good enough of an excuse to spend their time there.

“Uhhh – Lunch break,” Castiel answers stiffly, his eyes shortly glancing over to Dean. The hunter seems to have grown smaller by the second, as he fiddles with the menu.

“Well, tell Sam I said hi,” she comments cheerfully, as she finally leaves them alone again. Silence falls over the table, only disturbed by the noise of the diner around them. Dean can feel Castiel’s watchful eyes on him, but he’s not ready to face them yet. He might not believe in fate or destiny, but the disturbance came just at the right time. A few seconds more and he might have destroyed the best friendship he had his entire life.

“Dean…,” Cas finally breaks the silence, but Dean interrupts him before he can speak more.

“Just forget it, Cas…Let’s focus back on the case.”

They don’t pay any attention to Beth, who silently snaps a picture of them from the outside. It feels like the ultimate proof those two are actually having an affair; why else would they meet up in a diner during Castiel’s work hours? She can’t help but grin, as she sends the picture to her friends.

TO: BRUNCH LADIES

“Look who’s having dinner instead of working….”

——————————————————————————————

“It’s Jennifer,” Cas says, once the image of Dean flashes over the laptop screen. After several neighbors pointed out how attached Dean seems to be to his brother, they decided to stick to virtual conversations for the moment.

“You sure?” Dean asks as he watches his brother and his best friend sit on their couch. He should be glad to once have an entire motel room for himself, but for some strange reason, he misses his family. Okay, he knows exactly why: he hates not knowing what’s happening between his brother and Cas. Sammy isn’t interested in Cas that way, he knows that. But the thought of them holding hands is enough to get Dean bothered.

“Absolutely,” Sam replies. “She was already one of our suspects due to some lucky incidents in the last few years, but when I was at her house, I clearly saw some witch supplies.”

“Her magic doesn’t seem too powerful, destroying her supplies and her altar should be enough to stop her,” Cas adds up, and Dean nods along.

“She’s working from home, right?” Dean asks while trying to remember everything about the suspect. Jennifer didn’t talk to him a lot; she was more of a loner. Apparently, her husband died a few years ago and left her enough money to start her own jewelry company. “How are we going to get her out of the house long enough to take care of the situation?”

“We could throw another party. Maybe celebrate a birthday or a wedding anniversary. And you and Mom could handle the house in the meantime,” Sam suggests.

“She didn’t stay long at the housewarming,” Cas throws in. “We need some more time, there might be warding at her house – maybe we could try a distraction, so she stays longer?”

“You could fake-break-up your fake marriage,” Dean huffs under his breath, knowing already they won’t agree to it. If their plan fails, the entire cover-up story would be blown up. There’s a bottle of beer in Dean’s hands and he takes a deep gulp from it. It may not be noon yet, but he stopped caring about that years ago.

Cas answers once Dean finished drinking. “No, that’s hardly enough to draw her attention.”

“We could call Jack, maybe he can help out. He could be your unknown son from a secret affair,” Dean jokes next. It sounds almost like a cheap plotline from Dr. Sexy – except Dr. Sexy’s secret son actually appeared in season 3 and needed an organ transplant, which could only be donated by his father. While Dean tries to remember how the episode ended, Sam and Cas nod in agreement.

“I’ll call Jack right away,” Cas speaks, his phone already halfway pressed to his ear. A second later, the angel disappears from the couch, leaving only Sam in his view. The younger Winchester seems to wait for Castiel to leave the room before he addresses his brother again.

“Dean, promise me you won’t act up,” Sam tries to reason. “We can’t risk the entire thing because you are getting jealous.”

“Jealous? Don’t be ridiculous, Sammy,” the older Winchester mumbles, trying his best to not sound petty. “Scout’s honor, I’ll be on my best behavior.”

——————————————————————————————-

Dean’s promise lasts around 20 minutes, which is already longer than he honestly would have expected. He and Mary will enter Jennifer’s house at 1800 sharp, leaving them with just enough time to trash her little altar and the supplies. Jack is going to start with his distraction around 10 minutes earlier, giving Dean enough time to slip out quietly. It’s all planned to the minute, which of course means, it’s destined to fall apart.

They invited their neighbors under the premise of Castiel’s birthday, even though the angel technically doesn’t even have a birthday. It doesn’t matter anyway, since Sam promised some BBQ and apparently that’s enough to motivate everyone to show up. Dean watches the spectacle from a distance, occasionally sipping his cold beer. He planned to handle the grill, but some bored husband hushed him away to deal with it instead.

Cas looks beautiful, Dean notices as he watches his best friend talking to his guests. He’s wearing a light blue dress shirt and a pair of dark jeans, and Dean makes a mental note to thank his brother for finally getting Cas out of his usual outfit. Then he remembers it means Sam took Cas shopping at some point, and Dean’s gratitude turns sour in his mouth.

“How long have you two been married?” one of the ladies asks Cas, and Dean tries his best to hide a snickering laugh.

“Too damn long,” Dean jokes under his breath, but loud enough for several heads to turn in his direction. Maybe he had a beer too much, but watching Sam and Cas acting in love isn’t a thing he can handle sober.

“Two years,” Cas replies shortly, shooting angry glances at Dean. A second later, he mumbles to his guests again. “May you excuse me for a moment?”

Dean steps back, ready to hide from Castiel’s anger, but it doesn’t work. Barely a moment later, Cas is already in front of him. His hand closes tightly around Dean’s arm, keeping him from turning away.

“What’s the matter with you, Dean? You’re acting like a child,” Cas hisses when he catches him in the hallway. It’s enough to make Dean angry again, as he pulls his arm away from Castiel’s tight grip.

“The matter with me?” he shoots back. “This is honestly so ridiculous, you’re acting so…”

A middle-aged man bumps into them, and Dean stops talking immediately. There are far too many people around and if he says anything about the case, it could ruin their entire plan. The guests are spread all over the house, leaving no place to talk in private. Well, almost no place…

“We need to talk,” Dean whispers, before dragging the angel into the coat closet. Some curious eyes seem to follow them, but Dean shuts the door before anyone else can spot them. The closet is surprisingly spacious, but the walls seem to suffocate him. There’s a bit of light coming in through the shutters, and he can see the concern written all over Cas’s face.  

“What’s going on? Ever since Sam and I began working this case, you’ve been acting weird,” Cas presses on and Dean knows it’s finally time to come clean about his feelings. He doesn’t want to lose Castiel’s friendship, but he can’t keep lying anymore.

“I wish it were me,” Dean rushes before he can chicken out again. “Instead of Sam. I wish it were me you’re married to. And I know it’s all fake, and you’re just pretending, but it’s driving me insane. Watching him hold you and call you those cheesy pet names. Because - because it’s something I want to do with you…not pretending, but for real.”

Once Dean starts speaking, the words don’t seem to stop rushing from his mouth. Cas just regards him with those hauntingly blue eyes, his head tilted in a way that always makes Dean’s heart melt. When all is said, Dean feels like the air was punched out of his lungs, as he awaits his friend’s answer.

“Why didn’t you ever tell me?”

“Because I was too stupid to realize it for the longest time. And then I just didn’t know how to say it,” Dean admits. He came close to confessing in the diner, but Beth interrupted them and afterward, Dean felt ashamed and stupid.

“Dean,” Cas whispers. “I want those things too.”

There’s the beginning of a bright smile on Castiel’s face, and Dean swears his heart skips a beat when the words finally dawn on him. Before Dean can overthink the situation, he presses closer to the angel and is relieved when Cas is doing the same. And then their faces meet in the middle. Kissing Cas is the easiest thing in the world, it turns out. Whatever Dean was so afraid of, is right forgotten once their lips slot together.

It starts out innocent and gentle, just like the way relationships start. But then Cas opens his mouth a little bit, letting Dean lick inside and,  oh  – now things are getting heated. Dean presses even closer to Cas, their chests flushing together and their arms holding each other close. Somewhere, Cas’s back hits a wall and Dean pins him against it. The moan that falls from Cas’s lips is almost obscene while motivating Dean only further.

It’s perfect, and amazing, and breathtaking – until the closet door opens and they stumble onto the floor. Tammy’s surprised gasp draws everyone’s attention over to the couple, still entangled on top of each other on the floor. Everyone’s, even Sam’s.

“What the hell do you two think you are doing?” he yells loud enough to attract the entire house to the hallway, where they are watching them closely. Dean and Cas are still on the floor, slowly stumbling back to their feet.

“Sammy, I can explain…,” Dean starts, but now Sam turns his attention to Cas. He steps closer to them, his pointed finger slapping against Castiel’s chest.

“You’ve been screwing my brother?!” he yells, before locking eyes with Dean. “And you! Is this why Fernando broke up with me?”

Dean is taken aback for a second. Who the hell is Fernando? It’s only then when Dean remembers their lesser-used codewords. He can still recall how he wrote it down in his own leatherbound journal:  Fernando – just play along.

“This got nothing to do with Fernando, this is about me and Cas!” Dean replies with an angry voice, before taking Castiel’s palm into his own hands. Cas gives him a quick squeeze, and Dean decides to have at least a little fun with the situation.

“I finally understand now, why I was so against your marriage. Because you two don’t belong together! Your whole marriage is a scam! You act all perfectly happy when in reality, you’re not even sleeping in the same bed anymore.”

Dean can hear the people around them gasp a little. He wouldn’t be surprised if one of the elder people would end up with a heart attack due to all the fake drama being uncovered right now. Besides him, Cas draws in a deep breath, before speaking to his (fake) husband.  

“It’s true, Sam. I’ve been having feelings for your brother for a while now, but I never knew how to address them.”

Sam just looks at them with the biggest puppy eyes Dean’s ever seen. His time in drama club surely played out. “Are you two in love?”

Dean takes a deep breath, looking over to the familiar blue eyes, and the truth slips easily over his tongue.

“I think I love Cas more than I’ve ever loved myself.”

The look on Castiel’s face is everything and without even words, Dean knows he feels the exact same about him. The room is quiet around them, and from the corner of his eye, Dean spots Jennifer amongst the watchers. At least their little distraction worked well enough for her to stay.

“As your brother, I wish you all the happiness in the world,” Sam speaks, his eyes fixed in the distance. When Dean turns his head, he spots their mother coming in through the entrance door, breathing heavily but otherwise seems okay. She gives them both a small nod, signaling them she took care of the altar.

The crowd seems satisfied for the moment, and Dean is about to lead Cas out of the house when a voice stops them midway. It’s Jack, who is shouting loud enough for everyone to hear: “Sam, I am your secret son!”

The drama is enough to make at least one elder lady faint.

——————————————————————————————-

Dean and Cas depart soon enough, leaving Sam to deal with the rest of the concerned neighbors. Everybody seems to be too caught up in the drama to notice their quiet leave. They end up back in the diner, this time holding hands on the table. Surprisingly, everything feels the same and yet, completely different than before. Dean can’t put it in words, but for the first time in years, he knows he’s truly happy.

It takes a bit of time for Sam to finally text him, saying his guests finally left them alone and they can come back to talk about their next steps. When the Impala roars down the road, Dean can feel the eyes of every household staring at them. They are probably wondering why he would be back so soon enough, but Dean doesn’t care. He just holds Cas’ hand on the way to the house, fully knowing he won the grand prize.

Jack and Mary greet them happily, and even Sam can’t hide his grin as he approaches his brother. “Well, if it isn’t the homewrecker himself.”

“Come on, I bet several of your neighbors would have consoled you all night long, if you had asked them,” Dean shoots back, throwing a wink at Sam. He remembers the way one of the ladies had clung to Sam’s arm, trying her best to cheer him up about his failed marriage.

They all settle in the living room: Cas and Dean on the couch, Mary and Sam seated in each of the armchairs, and Jack sitting cross-legged on the floor. It may not be much, but it’s their own little screwed-up family. While Sam gets them beers from the fridge, Dean considers putting his arm around Cas. They haven’t had time to label their relationship yet, but they’re both too old to play games. So, Dean decides to go with his gut and wraps his arm around Castiel’s shoulder. The returned smile lets him know it was a good decision.

“Sorry for the way I acted earlier, it was just for show,” Sam says when he passes the beer over to the couple. “I’m actually glad you two finally figured things out.”

“Me too,” Mary chimes in with a laugh. “Even though I was patiently waiting for your back-up at the house.”

“Bet you still did an amazing job without me,” Dean returns, an honest smile on his lips. He holds his beer towards her, and she clinks it with her own.

Sam fills them in with the details of the last hours, and how he watched Jennifer leave her home in a panicked state. She packed a few bags, before driving away with screeching tires. Well, another case successfully solved. They talk for hours while laughing about stories and eating the leftovers from the party.

“Damn, I could really use some sleep now,” Dean yawns, stretching his arms. A short glance at the clock lets him know it’s almost 2 am and they gotta hit the road early the next day.

“How about you two head to the motel, and Jack and Mom stay here?” Sam proposes. When Dean checks on Jack, the kid is curled up in his seat, snoring quietly. No way they’re going to move him somewhere else, so this plan might be for the best.

“You just want me to stay, so your neighbors see this pretty lady leave your house tomorrow,” Mary jokes, earning some quiet hollering from her elder son and a laugh from Castiel.

“Guess we’re heading back to the motel,” Dean finally decides, before clumsily standing up from the couch. If it weren’t for the awful neighbors, this place might actually be nice. The furniture for one thing is comfortable enough. And the closet sure gave him a few ideas what to do with Cas in the future. He takes a few steps towards the door until he notices something is missing. “Cas, you coming?”

“You want me to come along?” Cas asks, and Dean just nods.

“Of course, would be weird to stay with your husband now that you scored the hotter brother,” Dean replies, pressing a gentle kiss on Castiel’s cheek. He never knew angels could blush, but it’s a sight he will never get enough of.

“We’ll pick you up tomorrow at nine, better be dressed!” Sam shouts after them when Dean is already halfway out of the door.

“You’re such a buzzkill, Sammy. No wonder your husband left you”

“I’m just glad you’re finally out of the closet,” Sam shoots back with a grin. Dean already knows it’s a joke he’ll hear a thousand times in the upcoming years, but when he looks over at Cas, it sure is a price worth paying.

The drive to the motel is rather short, and soon enough, Dean unlocks the door to his room. Luckily, he had booked a room with a king-size bed. He rarely had a room for himself during hunts, so he had decided to enjoy that. Cas closes the door behind them, while Dean strips out of his flannel and his jeans. He’s still wearing a shirt and his boxers, but compared to a fully dressed Castiel, he almost looks naked.

When Dean comes near him, the angel wraps his arms around his torso and pulls him even closer. Once again, their lips meet in a kiss, growing more heated by the second. It’s with a sigh that Dean slowly pulls away again.

“Maybe we should take it slow, honey. How about we just cuddle tonight?” Dean murmurs, pressing gentle kisses along his jaw. The exhaustion of the day lies heavily on Dean’s bones, and all he wants to do is cuddle into bed, his lover beside him.

“Honey?” Cas asks with a raised eyebrow, and Dean feels himself blushing yet again.

“It’s just – every time I see a bee or something, I have to think about you,” he admits. “Remember how you collected honey yourself? Or when you showed up covered in bees?”

Cas smiles at the memory. “Of course, I remember, but why would you bring that up now?”

“It’s just a term of endearment, a pet name. I can stop if you want”

Dean was never a big fan of pet names. He usually called his partners by their names, not some silly phrase. But then again, he was the one who turned  Castiel  to  Cas,  so maybe the angel has always been the exception for him.

“No, I like it,” Cas decides, before pressing another quick peck onto Dean’s lips. “And I am fully contempt with cuddling you.”

After some discussion about clothing choices, Cas also strips down to his underwear. Cuddling in jeans and a dress shirt would have been awful, and Dean luckily managed to convince the angel of it. The bed is more than big enough for the both of them, as they lie facing each other in the dark.

“We should make you a proper Winchester someday,” Dean mutters, gently kissing Cas’s knuckles. He isn’t thinking about marriage, not yet at least. Most marriages he’s seen over the years ended in death: his parents, Bobby and his wife Karen, Ellen and her husband…The list goes on and on, including those couples they couldn’t save during their hunts. When he saw his own father stricken with grief for his lost wife, part of Dean swore he’d never marry. But then again, Dean never would have believed he’d ever live past the age of 30. It’s with a smile upon his lips that he finally falls asleep.

All his life, he expected monsters in every dark corner, and more than enough times Dean was proven right. He’s been long enough in the business to smell danger from miles away, Dean believes. Which is why he’s surprised to wake up to the sound of Castiel shouting his name.

When he opens his eyes, all he sees is purple. The room seems to be painted in the color, reflecting on every surface possible. And in the middle of it all stands Jessica, glaring at them with violet and angry eyes.

“You! You really thought destroying my altar was enough to stop me?”

Dean’s hand finds its way under his pillow but returns empty-handed. He must have forgotten to place it there, too caught up with his lover. And when he looks around, he can spot his faithful gun sitting on top of a dresser, which is inconveniently placed behind the wrathful witch in the room. Cas is already standing beside the bed, and the sight of a half-dressed angel ready to fight would be hilarious if it weren’t for the mortal danger they’re in.

“You’re an abomination,” Jessica yells again. “Dirty and sinful, and…”

The angel blade hits her right in the chest. Her purple eyes glance downwards, where the blood comes rushing out of her body. Apparently, she was so caught up in looking dangerous, she actually forgot to ward herself. And with Castiel’s heavenly aim, that could only end deadly for her. Jessica sinks to her knees; the purple flashes of lightning slowly disappearing from the room. It’s only then when Dean decides to approach her. Blood is running down her mouth, but she’s still alive, watching the hunter carefully as he kneels down in front of her.

“I’ve had a voice like you in my head my entire life, whispering awful things about myself,” Dean tells her, keeping eye contact as he pulls the angel blade out of her bleeding chest. “But now, that I’m finally happy, do you know what happens to this voice?”

Jessica doesn’t answer, and he doesn’t need her to.

He would have slit her throat either way. 

———————————————————————————————

“Welcome to Sunday Brunch, Agnes,” Sarah announces, as the women settle down at her dinner table. It’s been a while since they had another brunch, but it was long-awaited. Today, a new face sits at the table with them.

“So sad Jennifer decided to move away, but we are glad we got you in the neighborhood now.”

“Thanks for having me,” Agnes replies with a shy smile, as she glances around at the other women. “It’s wonderful to have such nice and caring neighbors, my old neighborhood was so scandalous…”

“Scandalous?” Irene laughs, shaking her head in disbelief. “Oh dear, you ain’t seen nothing yet!”

“Are you referring to the Winchester?” Tammy replies while stirring her tea. It’s been weeks since those men came and went, but it’s still everyone’s favorite topic of discussion.

“Don’t be silly, of course I mean the Winchesters!”

Beth releases a deep sigh. “I’ve heard they did it right in Dean’s fancy car after the party.”

“No, they threw Sam out of the house and then had sex in the bed Sam used to sleep in. How tasteless of them,” Sarah corrects her immediately.

“That can’t be.” It’s Tammy’s turn to speak now. “I saw him the next day with a blonde woman in front of the house”

“Guess he got over it quickly then,” some other woman giggles. “Have you seen the kid too? Sam can’t have been older than maybe 25 when he was born”

Agnes just smiles quietly, as she listens to the stories. She may not know the Winchesters, but they sure are entertaining as heck.

———————————————————————————————

Castiel becomes a Winchester on a sunny day in July.

It’s been months since the case that started their relationship, and they never spared another thought to those nosy neighbors. Dean suspects the rumors they started that night, but he couldn’t care less. Once the town disappeared from the Impala’s rearview mirror, none of them ever spared another thought to the neighborhood. Dean and Castiel couldn’t be happier, and that’s all that matters to them.

Jody invited all of them to her cabin at Lake Alvin, just outside of Sioux Falls. They are celebrating Claire’s graduation from college, and Dean couldn’t be prouder of the kid. He talks Cas into buying her the cheesiest greeting card they can find, paired with the most beautiful gun in the entire bunker. It’s got engravings all over and Dean even finds somebody who puts “C.N.” onto the side of it. He would rather have Claire live a normal life, but he knows it’s not going to happen.

It appears like everybody in the hunter community got the invitation: Sam and Eileen, Mary, Donna, the Banes twins, even Garth and Bess together with their kids. It’s not often hunters get to celebrate something, so everybody immediately jumped the opportunity. It’s a beautiful day, and at some point, Dean finds himself standing next to Claire.

“So, when you gonna put a ring on it?” she asks, nodding over to Castiel, who is chasing his little namesake all over the lawn in a playful game. Dean’s heart swells at the thought of this man being his husband. They hunt less and less these days, especially since Sam decided to move in with Eileen. It’s still a secret, but he and Cas recently bought a house in the same street as them. It might finally be time to leave the hunting life behind.

“There’s no rush,” Dean simply answers, trying his best not to settle on the thought. If he’d ever marry someone, it probably would be Cas. His eyes are still fixed on the laughing figure when Claire continues speaking.

“Whatever, old man. But if you ever want to tie the knot, just call me,” she says, shrugging with her shoulder. When Dean looks at her with a raised eyebrow, she continues. “I’m actually a licensed officiant, not that it would matter for you two anyways. Could marry you just like that –“

She snaps her fingers, before taking a gulp of her soda. Dean looks over to Cas again, his thoughts running in his head. What if…? The idea seems insane to him, but Claire seems to catch his thoughts. A smile breaks over her face: “Go ahead, dude. Just ask him.”

“Don’t want to steal your thunder, kid.”

“There would be no thunder without you,” she confesses, and Dean can’t help but pull her into a tight hug. He never expected to have kids, but he loves Claire just like his own blood. Her first weeks in college were rough, he remembers. But every time she came close to quitting, she’d call Dean. At this point, she’s just as much his kid as Jack, and he couldn’t be prouder of the people they’ve become.

When they step apart, Claire pulls a necklace from her neck. Two golden rings are connected on it, and Dean immediately knows who they belonged to.

“Here, this one should fit,” she says and presses the larger ring into his shaking hands. Dean mutters an honest thanks, smacking a gentle kiss on her forehead, before sprinting over the lawn.

“Hey Cas, can we talk for a moment?”

“You’re not dragging me into a closet again, are you?” Castiel laughs, but willingly follows his boyfriend a few feet away from the crowd.

“If I remember correctly, you rather enjoyed that…,” Dean counters with a grin, before kissing the angel gently. Cas is still smiling against his lips, and Dean pulls away with a deep breath.

“I have an idea…well, actually Claire had the idea, but I think it’s kinda awesome. And since everyone we love is already here, it would just be such a good opportunity and…”

“Dean,” Cas simply says, putting a stop to Dean’s blabbering.

“Will you marry me? Tonight? I know, you actually deserve a much better proposal and a wedding that doesn’t take place in flannel, but I love you so very very much”

Dean’s stammered words are silenced by a loving kiss. When they pull apart, Cas is smiling brighter than the sun.

“I’ve adored you ever since the moment I touched your soul in hell, of course, I’ll marry you”

The biggest smile flashes over Dean’s face, and Cas returns it just as much. A moment later, a loud shout draws their attention over to the cabin, where Claire is cheering in a way, that reminds them far too much of Dean. And when they tell everyone else, the mood just keeps going up.

It’s not a traditional wedding, but then again, their whole lives aren’t exactly normal. Jack insists on being the flower girl, even though Dean and Sam try their best to correct it to “flower-boy”. The music comes from a beaten-up boombox, which plays “November Rain” on repeat and the couple agrees not to exchange vows, deciding to wait with them until they can talk privately.

Dean’s hands shake when he slips the ring onto Castiel’s finger. It’s only now that he realizes they only got one ring, but before Dean can freak out, the angel pulls another golden band from his pocket.

“Where did you get that ring from?” Dean asks, and Cas casts a glance over to Jody, who is currently trying to stop crying. They barely knew her husband, and sometimes Dean still feels a pinch of guilt they couldn’t save him. The ring, he knows, is not only a final peace offering but an official invitation to the family. Dean shoots her a thankful smile, and she just nods in return.

“Speak now, or forever hold your peace,” Claire announces from the front, but the crowd remains luckily silent.

“We’ve been waiting for ages, no way we’re going to object now,” Sam shoots from the side, making everybody laugh. If Dean wasn’t close to bawling his eyes out, he’d probably throw a witty remark at his brother.

“Well then,” Claire says, clearly holding tears back herself. “I shall pronounce you officially hitched!”

Everyone cheers when Cas pulls Dean in a kiss, marking the beginning of a new chapter. The rest of the evening passes in a blur: they dance, they sing, Sam proposes to Eileen, Claire and Kaia finally get together, and Dean and Cas once again find themselves fooling around in a closet. But it’s perfect in every way.

Not every family contains of two parents and a bunch of kids. For them, family contains of two washed-up hunters, their time-traveling mom, a badass Irish huntress, a fallen angel, the devil’s son, and dozens of other people they got to know over the years. Bobby once told Dean, family don’t end in blood, but it doesn’t start there either.

And as Dean watches his happy and fucked-up family, his hand tightly holding onto his husband, he just knows truer words were never spoken.

[deityofcaffeine-writerstears]

“Sins of the flesh” Prologue!!

Hello everyone, I’ve been writing a new fic, so I figured I would post the prologue here in case anyone who views my blog would enjoy reading it! I hope you like the prologue, I’ll include the link to the fic here! Ao3 ink: https://archiveofourown.org/works/38974686/chapters/97482780 Wattpad link: https://www.wattpad.com/1222916487-sins-of-the-flesh-prologue --Prologue-- John Winchester was a righteous man; he was well-known throughout his community as an excellent priest and had seen most people every Sunday throughout their entire lives. He was known to be a very loving and selfless man, though many knew that dwindled slightly after the death of his wife. This is also the time he began hunting, leaving his young sons alone for days at a time and only returning for Sunday mass; no other adult knew of his hunting. No one knew what exactly had happened to the priest’s wife, the priest did not discuss it, but everyone knew that there must have been a truly horrifying sight involved; see, John kept his eldest son, Dean, blindfolded with a black satin cloth after the death of his mother. The boy never seemed overly bothered by it, although it was a little difficult to navigate through different places and do different tasks blindly at first. Since he was four, no one within the town had seen the boy without the blindfold on, and he was always wearing clothing that covered his entire body; his father did not take his sons out very often, and thus the only time the town people ever even saw them was at church. Most of the time, if you attempted to speak to Dean, he would not speak; his younger brother, Sam, however, would constantly go on delighting rants about whatever he was currently learning in school. What the people did not know is the purpose of the blindfold; unsurprisingly, neither did Dean, but he followed his father’s orders blindly as he was raised to. His father told him to put on the blindfold, he did. His father told him to stay quiet, he did. His father told him to hold out his arms so he could inflict bruises on them whenever he was out of order… he did. He saw his father as a hero, and it seemed no matter what the ma did to him, Dean always trusted his judgement. John knew the reason for the blindfold, though, and why only his oldest son needed it; it was to keep him holy, keep his soul pure, to stop him from falling into the sinful romance and lust with a man. You see after his wife had died, a being came to him and told him that the earth was a cruel and horrid place; it told him that if he was able to keep his oldest son pure, if he was able to keep him from falling in love with a man as he was fated to, then God would use him as vivisection for all his angels see so that they may aid him with creating more righteous beings for the earth. Delighted, John had not questioned the gold-eyed being, for he believed it was an angel, and thus did everything in his power to bend the fates of his son by engraving the belief that death would feel like waking up from a nightmare, that when he passed, Dean would be used as a model for all righteous beings to come if only he could keep away from lustful desires and the sin of a male lover. John Winchester was a fool; you cannot bend the fates, cannot change the course that life has given you to follow. The man who thinks himself God will undoubtedly be struck down, for he is an impersonator attempting to steal the power of another.

[swiftlymoniquesblog]

Only You: Dean x Reader (Requested)

Requested by: @littlemissmoxley: I was hoping for a Dean x Reader please? I’m fairly new to the fandom so I’ve only seen 3 seasons so far lol. I was hoping for a story where the reader feels like she is constantly compared to Cassie in Dean’s eyes even though she is a hunter too and she confides in Sam but Dean overhears the conversation and tries to convince the reader that he appreciates her for who she is and is sorry if he made her feel differently

A/N: Welcome to the family! We hope you enjoy your stay! I like comparing this fandom to the song Hotel California because like they say “you can check out any time you like but you can never leave!” lol don’t worry, that’s meant as a joke. It’s a very fun and very loving family so I hope you enjoy it!

Had to jump all the way back in season 1 for this and Dean gave me MAJOR feels throughout but totally worth it!

Also I don’t think this is my best work but I did my best

Warnings: Angst, swearing, angry!Dean (that’s a sexy warning) fluff, slight mention of sex but very light

Word Count: 2,752

Taglist requests are open! 

Supernatural Masterlist| Masterlist of all Masterlists

You had been living and working with the Winchester Brothers for the past year after they called on you for a little help with a case. You knew their Dad sort of well at one point in time after he saved you from a rather sticky situation with a vengeful spirit. At the time, you were working late and had gotten off of work when the attack happened but it ended up working out where John came to your rescue and made sure you were okay until he moved on to his next case. However, before he left you, he called his sons and had them come and stay with you longer because you were injured. John Winchester was not a man who would stay behind for an extended period of time to help some civilian but what he failed to learn but Sam and Dean stuck around to learn, was you weren’t a civilian; you were a hunter too. When they got to your apartment that night, you threw them for a loop.

“So what did our Dad say attacked you?” Sam, the youngest brother you found out, asked you.

“He said some kind of mental subject high on meth or something? Some total bullshit if you ask me. I know I was attacked by a vengeful spirit,” you say nonchalantly. 

Both brothers just gave you a bizarre look, like they were freaking out over how you knew what was going on. No one needed to lie to you because you were aware of what was happening and that was unusual to the brothers. 

“Wait, our  Dad told us you were a civilian?” The eldest brother, Dean, asked.

“Yes that’s what he told you but see boys, your Dad didn’t stick around me long enough to know the truth; I’m a hunter too. I guess it was pure luck your Dad was close by when I was attacked because I knew I was getting myself into some shady shit when I had to dig out some corpse to stop a track of killings in Tucson but I wasn’t expecting more than one spirit to be involved here,” you explain, smirking as the tension was drawn away from the brothers. 

A big part of every hunter's existence was to keep the job a secret from civilians; no one usually believes you anyways. So always having to come with an excuse for what happened when civilians almost died is exhausting. Lucky for the Winchesters, they didn’t have to worry about lying with you. After staying with you for a few days to make sure nothing was still trying to come after you, it was Dean who decided to have you live with them. He insisted on it due to how severe your injuries were but it didn’t bother you; you liked his company. Not that he really took care of you, he was just concerned. It was Sam who really took the time to care for you and that was how you and he had gotten so close. In fact, you confided in Sam about everything that was going on in your life so when you started doubting your relationship a year later, you went to him.

“Hey Sam, I need your advice on something,” you asked, going to see him in the War Room. He was currently sitting at the Map table behind his laptop, looking intently at the screen in front of him.

“Hey (y/n) sure, what’s going on?” He asked, eyes leaving the screen and landing on you.

“Well it’s about my relationship,” you say and Sam grows more concerned. 

“Dean’s not hurting you, is he?” He asks, jumping to one of the most extreme scenarios. You had started going out with Dean a few months after you 

“No, no, of course not. He’s been nothing but a gentleman but something seems a bit off.” 

You and Dean started dating a little while after you agreed to go with them on their hunts. It was actually really great and you liked him a lot, but lately, you began to question everything about your relationship.

“Off? Like how?” Sam asks, motioning for you to sit down across from him. 

“Well, he uh, did something odd,” you say, a bit hesitant on sharing what happened. 

“What did he do?” Sam pressed you.

“Well, uh, we were making out the other day and he said another girl's name,” you say, cheeks turning bright red but you knew you could trust Sam. He’s not the kind of guy to make fun of you or tease you that often; he was sweeter than that. Unlike his brother of course, who thrives off teasing you.

“Who’s name did he say?” Sam questioned.

“Cassie? I-I don’t know who she is or where that came from but it was weird. And when I confronted him about it, he blew me off and wouldn’t say anything about it. Not to mention, he won’t even come near me,” You explain everything that happened. 

“Oh….shit,” Sam said, knowing exactly what was going on. 

“Sam? Who-who’s Cassie?” You ask. 

“Cassie was Dean’s, first love. He was crazy about her and we ran into her again about a year ago. She called him because her Dad was killed by some racist truck that was driven by another vengeful spirit,” Sam explained his brother’s odd behavior. 

“Oh, well that explains a lot. He-he probably has been comparing me to her this whole time! And I think I’m failing,” you say, an expression of realization on your face. 

“No (Y/N) that’s not…” Sam tried to call after you but you left the room and went out to the motel lobby.

“How can I help you?” The young girl behind the front desk asked you. 

“Yes, I need to get a room. I’m not sure for how long yet but I can pay for one and I need one as far away from room 113 as possible,” You say, sliding the fake credit card over to the lady.

She quickly took down all your information and put it all through her computer, verifying you wanted a room farther away from Sam and Dean’s room, before she finalized a few things, sliding your card back to you and a room key, bidding you a ‘pleasant stay.’ You walked back to get your belongings from your shared room with the boys and before walking in the door, you scoped the surrounding area to ensure you wouldn’t run into either brother and when you were sure the coast was clear, you frantically start packing your bag, making sure to get in and get out as fast as possible. Zipping the bag, you scribble down a note to Dean, and set it on the table by the front door, and head out. Making your way to the opposite side of the property, you find your room, unlock it and let yourself into your new home for as long as you and the boys would be in town investigating. 

Dean’s POV

“Hey (Y/N/N), Sam, where are you guys?” I called out for the others living in the room with me to see if someone could help me with these groceries and take out what I bought. 

“Hey Dean, let me grab some of that for you,” Sam says, grabbing some of the bags out of my hands and placing them on one of the counters. 

“Where’s (y/n)? She said she was getting hungry earlier and I got her favorite food,” I say, excited to surprise my girl.

“Um, she’s not here,” Sam says, a hint of hesitation in his voice.

“Well, where is she?” I ask.

“She left,” Sam kept his response short.

“Sam, I need a much better explanation than just that.”

“There’s a note for you on the table by the door,” he says, unloading the bags of groceries. 

I walk back to the door and there is, in fact, a note with my name on the top.

Dean,

I think it’s best if we part ways for a while since...well you know what happened; the incident. I talked to Sam about it and he told me who she was. I get it, Cassie was your first love and after just seeing her recently and hooking up with her again, I’d probably say her name too. 

I’m not mad, in fact, I understand. I just think it’s best we aren’t in a romantic relationship since you’re not over her. Makes me wonder if you’ve been comparing me to her this entire time and I believe I fell short. I did a search on her and she is stunning in every way and I simply am not. 

I’ll stay to help you and Sam with the remainder of this case but afterward, I’ll head back home. I know this may seem surprising to you but ultimately, it'll be ideal for all involved. 

-(Y/N) 

“Son of a bitch!” I said, crumpling up the note and throwing it at the floor. 

“What’s wrong, what did the note say?” Sam asked.

“She left me, Sam. We were making out the other day and I said Cassie instead of (y/n) and now she thinks I’m still hooked up on her and that I’ve been comparing her to Cassie this entire time!” I yell, throw punching the wall. 

“Well, she couldn’t have gone too far, she hates being by herself,” he says, trying to add some comfort to the situation. 

“I can’t believe she thinks I still give two shits about Cassie! I haven’t even thought about her in the last year except for that one time,” I say, feeling shitty about this whole thing. I should’ve been more careful and paid better attention to (y/n). She probably thinks I don’t even care about her at all since we’ve been so busy lately with this case. 

“I gotta find her Sammy,” I say, feeling helpless about everything but I at least needed to get started finding her and explaining to her where I’m coming from.

“Let’s go up to the front desk and see if she left anywhere,”  Sam suggests,  making me remember why I’m lucky to have him. I wouldn’t have thought of that on my own.

We head up to the desk and are met with a girl who looks like she’s just fallen in love. Guessing she finds us attractive by the way her eyes travel up and down both of us. 

“How can I help you, boys?” She asks, smirking at Sam. 

“We’re looking for a girl, about yay high, (y/e/c), (y/h/c) she goes by the name (y/n/n)? Have you seen her anywhere?” 

“Oh, she checked into another room,” the girl says and I sigh in relief; she’s still here.

“Great, what room is she in?” I ask.

“I can’t tell you that, Sir,” she says to me, rolling her eyes and popping a bubble with her gum. 

“I’m Agent Ackles, this is my partner Agent Padalecki, (y/n/n) is our partner and we need to know her whereabouts as soon as possible. We believe she might be in danger,” I say, flashing my FBI badge, Sam following my lead, and the girl quickly jumps to the computer and pulls up your information.

“She checked into room 2 earlier this afternoon,” the girl says.

“Where is room 2?” Sam asks, knowing all the rooms we’ve seen have been in the hundreds. 

“On the opposite side of the property; those are the single-digit rooms.” 

“Thank you,” I say, folding the badge and putting it away.

“Do you want me to go with you?” Sam asks.

“Nah, I got this. I’m hoping to work this out with her and if we do well,” I say and smirk, Sam immediately knowing what I was implying.

“Right, well thanks for that. I’m going to head back to the room then and you just call if something doesn’t go as planned,” he says and heads back to our room. 

I follow the directions the receptionist girl gave me and after a surprisingly long walk, I find room 2. That girl wasn’t kidding; it really was on the opposite side of the property. I go over to the door and raise my fist to knock, pausing just a moment to gather my thoughts before finally making contact with the door. 

“Just a minute!” She calls from the other side of the door and then she goes quiet for a while. “What do you want, Dean?”

“Look (y/n) I got your note, can we talk about this please?” I say, almost pleading for her to open up. 

“I don’t have anything more to say to you,” she says.

“But I have plenty! Come one (y/n/n) please, let me explain.” She opens the door and looks pissed off. 

“And why would I do that?” 

“Because you love me,” I test, knowing we haven’t said that to each other yet.

“And how do you know that?” I can tell she was affected by the comment but she kept fighting me.

“Because I know you and if you didn’t care anymore, you would’ve left.” 

“Fine,” she says and steps aside, allowing me into the room.

“Look, (y/n) I’m sorry okay? I don’t know what happened that day. Maybe I was thinking about her subconsciously but I promise you, I am crazy about you and only you.” 

“But you told her about our work; she obviously means a lot to you,” 

“Meant a lot to me, yes, but YOU are the one who means more to me than, I can’t believe I’m about to say this, but more than Baby.” 

Her head snapped over to look at me, she wasn’t expecting that one and neither was I.

“I mean more to you than your prized Baby?” She asks, cocking an eyebrow to see if there were any signs of deceit but I was sincere.

“Yes, sweetheart. You are my girl and I’m crazy about you. You’re the first person I want to see when I wake up in the morning and the last one I want to see before I fall asleep at night. I want to be there when you’re not feeling well so I can cuddle you and tickle you until you feel better again. I want to cook you meals and I want to be able to binge-watch Scooby-Doo with you. I want to play with your hair and see you fall asleep with your head in my lap because you’re so incredibly beautiful and I cannot believe you are mine. I am so sorry you thought you weren’t good enough for me or that I’ve been comparing you to Cassie this whole time because I haven’t been. I’ve been pinching myself every single day I see you and get to kiss you because I’m still thinking I’m going to wake up from a dream and it’ll all be gone. I hope that isn’t true and that this is all real. After all, I can’t imagine my life without you in it because I love you. That’s right, I love you (y/n) and I don’t care who knows it! I am so in love with you that I was going to go insane if I hadn’t told you,” I fully express all my feelings, in a non-Dean way. 

She keeps quiet and just when I think the worst happens, she makes her way over to me and grabs my head, bringing my lips to hers in a kiss. Instinctively, I grab her hips, holding her tight, and push her against the nearest wall. She’s completely trapped as my lips make the kiss more passionate by traveling down to her neck and over the tops of her breasts that were kind of spilling over by her pajama tank top. Just before anything gets too heated, I pull away to make sure we were on the same page, that she was okay with whatever plans I had conjured in my head and when she didn’t seem to hesitate and she lifted her shirt over her head and threw it on the floor beside her, I knew she was all in. I’ll admit, I forgot what I was doing for a minute as I pictured her lying under me as I do some rather fun things to her, but she snaps me out of it and I go out to put a ‘do not disturb’ sign on the door, slamming it and locking it behind me. Yep, she was my girl again. 

Taglist: @calaofnoldor @thinkinghardhardlythinking @tloveswriting @akshi8278 @baby1967impala @deansmyapplepie @marvelfansworld @spnjediavenger

[fandom-imagines-stories]

Empty Eyes

Dean Wincester x Reader

Words: 3574

The Deal S2 Finale: Series Masterlist

Summary: The reader and the boys go on a hunt to distract themselves from the growing chaos, but the hunt proves to be more than they anticipated. 

Notes: Now, I have to admit, season two was a little rocky, but I think it turned out okay. I hope you guys are as excited for the third and final season because I am beyond pumped to write it. As always, please please let me know what you think! 

-

Your leg bounced up and down, the tension in the car making your anxiety about the hunt even worse. Mary left. You weren’t sure if it was because of you or because of the stress of being back from the dead, but she said she needed time on her own to figure things out. Dean wasn’t taking it well, so Sam wanted to distract him by getting on a case fast. 

“Are you sure you’re ready for this?” Dean wondered, noticing your nervous fiddling. You snapped your attention to him and gave him a convincing smile. 

“Of course. Why wouldn’t I be?” With his mind so many other places, he settled on believing you. At least for now. You checked your eyes in the rearview mirror. They were still Y/E/C. They were your eyes. 

“Alright, remind me what we’re after?” Dean asked. You could hear the desperation in his voice. Desperate to put his fist through something. He needed to break something before he bust. 

“Looks like a shapeshifter just outside Castle Rock, Colorado.” Sam informed, scrolling through the article on his phone. “But I won’t be sure until we get there.” 

“What do you mean you can’t be sure?” Dean snapped. Sam knew that his brother’s frustrations were not directed towards him, so he did his best to keep a cool head. 

“Well, there have been a series of deaths that all involved people suddenly turning against their friends and family after a weird change in personality.”

“That could be a number of things.” You pointed out, leaning up from the back. 

“Yes, but there have been a few instances where the person that supposedly killed their whole family was caught on camera in a bar half way across town.” Sam gave you a smug look and you returned it with a rough pat on the shoulder. 

“Oh, how I missed your know-it-all brain, Sammy.” You laughed, hoping the lighter mood would ease Dean’s mind. He feigned a small smile, but his hands were still gripping the wheel a little too tight. 

Mom leaving was not the only thing that Dean was worried about. Ever since Cas had taken that angel blade from your hands a week ago, you had pretended that nothing had happened. You were back to being exactly the same girl that he fell in love with and as much as he hated it, it worried him. He knew what was eating you up inside and he knew you were trying so hard not to show it. But just because you wanted to pretend it wasn’t there, didn’t mean it wasn’t stirring in your chest, waiting to consume you. He knew the feeling. 

By the time that the impala pulled into town, everyone in the car had inner turmoil and were desperately trying to hide it. So in other words, a typical Thursday. 

-

“So be serious,” Sam started as you walked up to the door of one of the crime scenes. Dean was looking over security tapes at the police station, so it was just you and the giant Winchester. “How are you feeling?” 

“I’m fine, Sam.” You rolled your eyes playfully and hoped he would just leave it be. But of course, it was Sam, so he couldn’t. 

“You know you can talk to me about it, right?” His sincerity made guilt seep into your head so you walked ahead of him. Sam let out a frustrated breath and stopped on the first step of the porch. “I get that you just want to pretend that it didn’t happen, but you can’t.”

“Sam, we are not talking about this now. We’re on a case.”

“Y/N, I don’t care about the case. I care about you and Dean and the fact that neither of you are processing anything that has happened in this past week.”

“Dean doesn’t know how he feels about your mom leaving. I understand that.”

“No, Dean knows how he feels, he just doesn’t want to feel it.” Sam corrected, running his fingers through his hair. “You both are just pushing everything so far inside of you that it's just going to build up until it explodes.”

“I’m not exactly going to go to a therapist, if that’s what you want.”

“I just want you to talk to me. To both of us. I’m not saying I know exactly what happened to you down there, but we’ve all been to hell-”

“Well that just makes it so much better. Maybe we should start a support group.” You snapped. “I saw his face. Nothing is ever going to erase that from my head.” You watched his face fall. 

“Y/N-”

“Just stop it, Sam!” You shouted. Even though he was much taller than you, you got in his face, seething. “Just. Stop.” The fury in your voice frightened even you. Sam took a startled step back. You felt like your blood was on fire, racing through your body and searing off your skin. You sighed and looked down at the old, rotted wood steps beneath your feet. “Sorry, Sam, I just-”

“It’s okay.” He put a comforting hand on your shoulder. “This is just what I’m talking about though. You keep this inside of you for too long and it’s going to lash out.” 

“I know.” You leaned against one of the beams, almost worried that it would collapse. “I don’t know what to do, Sam. Everywhere I go, I’m worried that I’m going to snap and hurt someone.” 

“You won’t.” He assured you. “Y/N, I know you don’t believe it, but there’s nothing evil growing inside you.” His green-blue eyes stared lovingly at you. “It’s like Cas said. There is a part of you that is broken, but that does not mean it can’t be fixed. That’s what we’re here for.” 

“I don’t think that a couple of beers and a road trip is going to put me back together, Sammy.” You said, keeping your head down. 

“No,” Sam put a finger under your chin and lifted your gaze back to his, “but we can sure as hell help you pick up the pieces.” 

You fought back tears and pulled the younger Winchester into a hug. After all that time in hell, Sam Winchester was still your brother.

“Are you two the agents that called?” An officer peaked their head out the door. You quickly pulled away from Sam and nodded. 

“That’s us.” 

“Well come on in. Better prepare yourselves though. I don’t think I’ve ever seen so much blood on one carpet.” The officer shuddered. You and Sam exchanged a look before following him inside. 

He wasn’t lying. The carpet was soaked with red and it was splattered all over the walls. This had to have been one sick shifter to do all of this. Sam checked out the largest pool of blood since that’s where the victim bled out. You made your way around the room, checking little details that might give you any clues as to where this son of a bitch could be. 

“Can you tell us anything about the victims?” Sam asked the officer, crouching down to look at the extent of the blood. 

“Well sure, agent. This is a small town. Everybody knows everybody.” He motioned to a broken picture frame on the floor. “The first was Talia Gonzolaz. She’s lived here her whole life, my sister went to school with her. The next two were her kids, Rosalia and Carmen.” He looked mournfully at the once happy family. “I still can’t believe that Mateo could do something like this.” 

“So you knew the killer well, too?” 

The officer nodded. “He ran the bar that us cops would go to after our shifts. Always seemed like such a nice guy.” 

While Sam continued to ask questions about the family, you walked the perimeter of the room. Everything seemed deliberately out of place; books were torn apart and thrown about the room, furniture was slashed up with a knife, records were shattered on the floor. There was only one intact and it sat with the needle still running. The local police must not have noticed. You switched the record player off and felt a chill run through your veins. 

“I think we’ve got it from here if you’ve got some work at the station to take care of.” You announced, giving the officer a look that said you wanted him out of the room. He obliged, hardly in a position to argue with a federal agent, even a fake one. Sam got up and walked towards you. 

“Find something?” He looked over your shoulder to see what had your face turning white. You gulped. 

“I don’t think that a shifter is behind this.” 

You both stared down at the blood smeared record, the last sound the victims heard before they were hacked to pieces. Bad Company. 

-

Dean burst into the motel room, adrenaline coursing due to his brother’s urgent phone call. Sam was sitting on the bed, resting his head in his hands while you were hidden behind the partition separating the sleeping area from the kitchen. 

“What happened? You said something was wrong.” He asked. Sam just glanced back in your direction. 

“This hunt may be bigger than we thought.” He said grimly. Dean quickly went into the kitchen, where you were pacing madly in front of an open book. You didn’t even notice him. 

“There has to be a reason she’s picked me.” You muttered to yourself. “Demons don’t just follow people around forever for no reason. She picked me. Why?” 

“What happened at the crime scene?” Dean wondered, watching you with concerned confusion. 

“She’s here, Dean. She’s here for me.” You yanked your fingers through the tangles in your hair, keeping up your furious pacing. Dean grabbed you by the arm, forcing you to stop moving. 

“Woah, okay, first I need you to calm down.” He put his hands on your shoulders and waited until your breathing seemed to return to normal. “Now, what are you talking about?” 

“Lavina is here.” His brows drew together in even more confusion. You gulped. “The demon I made the deal with. She then made me her personal punching bag in the pit.” 

“Why would some low-level demon have a grudge against you?” He asked, pushing images of you being torn apart out of his head. He saw them enough in his nightmares every night. 

“That’s what I’m trying to figure out.” You moved to stand over the book on the table, fingers running down the columns of words as you scanned them. “I’ve been looking for hours and I can’t find anything about Lavina or demons with special connections to humans.”

“How do you even know she’s here? I thought we already figured out it’s a shifter.” 

“There was a record on at the last house. It was meant for me, I know it was.” You flipped through the pages, eyes wild and determined. Dean sighed. He’d seen that look of furious obsession before. 

“If it really is this demon chick, then we can figure it out together.”

“No.” You blurted, suddenly looking up at him. He straightened his shoulders and narrowed his eyes. 

“What?” 

“Dean, this is my fight. Lavina wants me. I’m not going to let you and Sam get in the middle of it.” You started to pack up your things into a backpack: exorcism books, paint for devils traps, and most importantly, an angel blade. 

“Oh, you’re not going to let us, huh?” He glowered, blocking the doorway. “You’re just going to march out there, summon her up and take her down, right?”

“That’s the plan.” You put your hands on your hips and stared him down. If he thought he could bully you into staying then he was sadly mistaken. 

“Y/N, a week ago you tried to use that blade on yourself, so if you think I’m letting you out of my sight with that thing, you’ve got another thing coming.” 

“This is my fight, Dean.”

“No.” He growled. “No, the second you made that deal, you made it my fight too. So don’t you dare tell me that ‘you have to do this alone’ because that’s crap. We either go after Lavina together or not at all.” He loomed over you, jaw clenched and eyes hard. He would tie you down if he had to and you knew it. 

“Fine.” You sighed in submission. “We’ll go together. But, I need a shower first.” Dean quirked a brow. “No, you can’t come with me. I want to get this blood out from under my nails.” You moved around him to grab a fresh set of clothes from your bag. Sam was still sitting on his bed, giving you an inquiring look. He had heard the argument, but decided not to say anything. He just gave you a small nod of reassurance and started looking through some old lore books. As you walked towards the bathroom, Dean gently grabbed your arm. 

“Y/N, I…” He took a deep breath, trying to figure out his words. “I can’t risk anything happening to you. Not again.” His hard gaze had turned sad, almost desperate. You gave him a small smile and pressed a sweet, short kiss to his lips. 

“That’s how I feel about you.” You whispered, running your fingers along his jaw. You slipped past him and tucked something between the shirt and jeans in your arms. Dean ran a hand down his face and sighed heavily, taking a seat across from his brother. 

“She wants to go alone?” Sam asked. 

“Yeah.”

“Did she really think we’d let her?” 

“I guess so.” 

“Dean, I saw her face when she saw that record. The look in her eyes…” He shook his head. “It’s consuming her.” 

“I know.” The sound of the water running set him at ease slightly. “Sam, I don’t know what to do. We can’t let this demon run around making meals out of people, but if Y/N gets to her without a real plan?”

“Then we’ll make a plan.” Sam shrugged. It was really their only option, as much as he hated to admit it. “We’ll do it together, like we always do.” All Dean could do was nod, staring at the wall while thoughts ran rampant in his mind. Half an hour must have passed before he started to worry. 

“Y/N?” He said through the door, knocking lightly. The water kept running. “Sweetheart, I think the water’s cold by now. Sam and I want to start making a plan, so why don’t you come out?” Still no response. 

Then something caught his eye. An empty spot on the table where you had set the angel blade. Dean’s blood boiled. With one powerful kick, he busted open the bathroom door to find the vacant shower running and the window wide open. 

“Son of a bitch!”  

-

You climbed into the window of the abandoned warehouse being careful not to scrape your arms on the broken glass. Looking around the room, you found the best spot for the trap and pulled out the spray paint you’d bought on the way here. 

“There’s no need for that.” It was a different voice, but you’d recognize that malicious tone anywhere. This time, Lavina possessed some poor blonde college student. “I knew you’d come looking for me. Especially after that little incident with Dean-o.” You narrowed your eyes, grabbing the angel blade from your boot. 

“How do you know about that?” 

“Oh, Y/N, haven’t you figured it out yet.” She put her hands over her chest in mock sincerity and pouted her lips. “We’re connected.” 

“Screw you.” 

“I see your manners haven’t improved in the company of the Winchesters.” She stalked towards you slowly, like a cat looking at a canary. “Unfortunately, you haven’t killed the brutes yet, so what can I help you with today?”

“This ends. Now.” You growled, lunging at her with the blade. 

The fight wasn’t a pretty one. Having missed with the knife, you brought your elbow back into her nose, satisfied with the crunch that came with it. Lavina then grabbed your hair and slammed your head down into her knee. Your vision blurred and your head was spinning, giving her the chance to land a kick to your stomach. Grabbing your hair again, she yanked your head up to face her. 

“I’m going to have so much fun dragging your sorry ass back to hell.” 

You swung the blade again, this time cutting a large gash into her leg, making her cry out furiously. You swung a third time, catching her arm. When she looked at you again, her eyes were empty and black. 

“Playtime’s over.” She spat, holding out her non-injured hand. You felt an invisible force push you back, pinning you against the wall. The angel blade clattered to the ground. “Did you really think you could come in here with that toothpick and defeat me?” She clenched her fist and that invisible force squeezed around your neck. “You’re going to make one hell of a demon.” 

“I don’t think so, bitch.” The voice was both a relief and a new problem to deal with. Dean and Sam stood in the doorway, their own blades ready to attack. Dean stepped forward. “Let her go.”

“Oo, the Winchesters in the flesh. Aren’t I the lucky gal.” Lavina smirked, tightening her fist. You gasped for air, eyes blown wide with panic. “I don’t know if this is a good idea for you, Dean. Don’t you remember what happened last time you fought a demon with little old Y/N here?” 

“There’s only one of you, now.” Sam jeered, stepping forward with his brother. Her smile widened. 

“I guess you’re right, Sammy boy.” With an innocent shrug of her shoulders, she looked at you. “I’ll see you later, sweetheart.” 

A black cloud roared out of the blonde’s mouth and her body slumped onto the floor. You fell to your knees, gasping for breath. Dean and Sam both rushed to your side, helping you sit back against the wall. While Sam kept a hand on your shoulder, waiting for your breathing to return to normal, Dean paced back and forth in front of you, his feet stomping furiously. 

“Dean-” You started, your voice raspy and weak. 

“I said we’d go after her together and you decide to climb out of a window!” He screamed. “You know, if Sam and I thought you were still in the shower, you’d be Lavina’s bitch all over again. Or did you even think about that before marching in here alone?” 

“I just… wanted… this to be… over.” You coughed, trying to stand up, but Sam kept you on the floor. 

“Yeah, well it isn't over now, is it? Lavina is still out there, probably possessing some other poor girl as we speak.” 

“I’m sorry.” You looked up at him with tears of shame in your eyes. “I thought I could face her, Dean. I was wrong.” Your gaze fell to the floor, cheeks burning with both embarrassment and the hot tears threatening to spill over. “I’m not strong enough. I’m not the hunter that I used to be. I didn’t want to believe it until now, but I don’t have any fight left.” 

Sam gave you a sympathetic look, but Dean just looked angrier. 

“Alright, that, right there, is crap.” He knelt down in front of you, eyes blazing with both determination and devotion. “If there is one thing that you’ve shown this past week is that everything you have been through has only made you stronger. You made it through hell without breaking. You have shouldered so much and kept going. Never think that you don’t have any more fight in you, because the fight is all we’ve got. And if you need someone to take that on for you, then dammit Y/N, I will take it on. But fighting on your own doesn’t prove anything. You are still the badass woman I fell in love with and nothing is going to change that.” 

He held his hand out in front of you and you took it. He pulled you up and wrapped his arms around you. 

“Nothing is going to change that.” He repeated, running a hand up and down your back. You pulled back and gave the two Winchesters a small smile. 

“Alright boys.” You straightened up with a new sense of power. With the Winchesters by your side, you were invincible. “We’ve got work to do.”

-

In a small, quiet town not too far from you and the Winchesters happy little moment, a young waitress was closing up for the night. Just as she turned the key, something dark filled her reflection. It was the last thing she saw. 

Content with her new look, Lavina examined the pretty young thing in the window. She usually preferred blondes, but that was nothing a little bleach couldn’t fix. The uniform would also have to be ditched, but all in all, she would do very nicely. 

She let out a frustrated cry and shattered the glass with her fist, enjoying the pattern the blood left on the pavement. Those damn Winchesters. They never learned how to stop meddling. No matter. Those boys weren’t the only ones who could hold a grudge. Her fight to avenge her family was far from over.

-

General Tag: @rae-gar-targaryen; @takemepedropascal; @childhood-imagination;  @mylovegoesto; @yellowbadgergirl; @itmejado; @suckmyapplejacks; @kendahl0216​

Supernatural: @desimarie12; @deandreamernp; @vicmc624; @halesandy; @livshaes; @d-whinchestergirl87; @mrspeacem1nusone;  @crist1216

The Deal Series: @writeroutoftime; @ minninugget; @mia-ono; @erule; @ dannyo000

[440mxs-wife]

No One Hunts Alone

Pairing: Dean x Reader. Other Characters: Sam Winchester, Ruthie (Reader’s BFF) and Amber (OFC’s), Jim and Trevor Morrison (OMC’s)

Word Count: 6460

Warnings: Some mutual pining, Reader is a little stubborn, dreaded class reunion, mostly fluffy though.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

You were putting away some freshly folded laundry when your phone buzzed in your pocket. The screen showed the call was from your best friend, Ruthie. "Hey, chickie, what's going on?" you asked. Silence. "Ruthie? What's wrong, honey?" you insisted. Your panic level escalated with each passing silent moment. "Please, Ruthie, answer me," you pleaded.

"Hey," Ruthie finally answered softly. "Listen, I know you said you wouldn't be able, or didn't want to come back home for the class reunion, but...." she trailed off. "I really think you should reconsider. Please. There's something weird going on around here. You know, your kind of weird," she emphasized.

Dammit. You pinched the bridge of your nose between your thumb and forefinger and sighed heavily. "Yeah, okay. I'll pack up tonight, and leave early in the morning. I can bunk with you, right?" you asked.

"Of course you can stay here, you never have to ask. You know that," she gently chided. "Just you, though? You're not bringing the Wonder Twins?" she asked.

"Nope, just me," you replied. For now, anyway. They have too much going on already, wouldn't want to be a bother to them, you thought. You heard a knocking at your door. "Ruthie, I gotta go. Someone's at the door. I'll text you before I leave tomorrow," you promised.

You opened your door to find Dean standing there. "Hey, sweetheart. Ready for our Movie Night in the 'Cave?" he asked.

Ordinarily, you'd jump at the chance to spend any amount of time you could with Dean. But you had to pack tonight so you could easily slip out in the morning. "Is that tonight? I'm sorry, Dean, but I'm kinda tired," you replied.

"Aw, come on, it's still early. Please?" Dean tried his best to give you the puppy dog eyes.

"Not tonight, Dean. I'm sorry, I'm just tired and I have a lot on my mind right now. This thing with Ruthie--" you stopped short before you gave everything away.

"Wait, what 'thing' with Ruthie, is everything okay?" he asked with concern. Dean knew how close you and Ruthie were, that you were more like sisters than best friends.

"It's just some local stuff. It's probably a bigger deal in her mind than it actually is," you explained, hoping he'd buy it.

"Well, if you're sure," he remarked, raising one eyebrow. "But you owe me for missing our regular Movie Night," he grinned and tapped the end of your nose.

"Put it on my tab, Winchester," you teased. "Goodnight, Dean," you replied softly.

"Goodnight, darlin'. Sweet dreams," he responded. You closed the door and leaned back against it, breathing a deep sigh of relief.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

After he left your door, Dean walked into the library, where Sam was sitting at the table, reading. He looked up to see the concerned look on his brother's face. "What's up with you?" Sam asked.

Dean explained that he had just reminded it was time for your usual Movie Night in the Dean Cave, but that you had backed out. "So what, Dean? Maybe she really is tired and has a lot on her mind," Sam defended.

"Nah, I think there's more to it than that, Sammy. She said there was a 'thing' going on with Ruthie, then tried to play it off as no big deal. Some kind of 'local' situation," Dean muttered.

"You want me to check online, see if there's anything resembling a case in her hometown?" Sam asked.

"For right now, let's just keep an eye on things, see what happens. There has to be some reason she didn't or doesn't want me--er, us--knowing what's going on," Dean replied. Sam nodded in agreement but grinned internally at Dean's almost confession.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

You went to bed shortly after packing your bags and stowing them in your closet. You felt a twinge of guilt about turning Dean down for your Movie Night, considering your feelings for him. As far as he was concerned, you have been and probably always would be just his best friend. For you, though, it was more than a crush. Yep. You were full-blown, head-over-heels, heart eyes, Cupid's-arrow-in-the-butt, in love with Dean Winchester.

Too many times, you were almost caught staring at him, wondering what it would be like to be held in his strong arms. Or kissed by those plump, perfect lips. One look in his forest-green eyes and you were a goner, throwing almost all speaking ability out the window. For all his strength and take-charge attitude, though, he let you see his tender side as well. The one that brought you tea when you weren't feeling well, or held you close when you watched a horror movie in the 'Cave. How tenderly he dressed your wounds after a hunt.

Yep. In love with your best friend, and you couldn't do thing one about it. Not without it becoming awkward around the bunker when he didn't return your feelings. Sam figured it out a long time ago, but you made him promise not to say anything to Dean about it. So far, so good, but you weren't sure how much longer you could go without him finding out.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

The way Ruthie sounded on the phone made your heart clench, especially when she said it was your kind of weird. She knew what you did for a day job and that it was important, even though she didn't like thinking about you in danger.

Ruthie didn't give you many details, but because she was involved, that made it personal. Despite having so little to go on, you knew you had to drop everything and go. There was no way you were going to trust another hunter to handle it.

There was always the hope that it was a 'milk run' kind of situation, and that you could cover it on your own. If not, you were sure that you could call Sam and Dean for help, though you considered that as a last resort. They have enough to worry about. No, you thought, this one's on me, I can do this. I have to do this myself. You rolled over, closed your eyes and tried to get some sleep.

Early the next morning, you quietly slipped out of your room with your bags and locked the door behind you. Using one of the secret passageways, you silently made your way to the garage, undetected. Your weapons bag was put into the warded compartment under the trunk bottom, with your other duffel bag on top. Before you left, you turned off the GPS function on your phone so you couldn't be tracked. You texted Ruthie, then eased your car out of the garage and headed for your hometown.

Your route out of town took you by one of the nearby parks where Sam usually went for his morning run. You hoped that you had left the bunker before him, to reduce the chances that he would see you as you drove past him. Just as you passed the park, you saw a familiar figure in a navy blue jogging shorts, sweatshirt and beanie. The figure turned his head in your direction and you knew you'd been made. Welp, you thought. So much for a clean getaway.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Sam turned his head just in time to see you drive past the park. He stopped on the path to stretch, then pulled out his phone to call you.

Next to you on the seat, your phone rang. A quick glance at the Caller ID showed that it was Sam, but you chose not to answer it at first. Immediately after it stopped ringing, it started again, so this time you picked up.

"Hey, you're up awfully early, what's going on?" Sam asked.

"Nothing, Sam, I'm running some errands," you explained.

"You don't really expect me to believe that, do you?" he shot back.

"Believe what you want to believe, Sam. Listen, I have something that I need to handle. I'll be back in 2, maybe 3 days, tops. Bye, Sam," you replied.

"No, wait, don't hang up! I'm headed back to the bunker now. Just please pull over and wait so that Dean and I can catch up to you. Whatever it is, we want to help. Please," he implored.

You thought about doing as he asked, but then you realized that they have enough to worry about in their own lives. Surely you could handle this one case by yourself. "I'm sorry, Sam. You guys have enough to deal with on your own, I can't put this on you. I have to do this on my own. Please understand. I'll be home in 2-3 days," you said. After you hung up, you turned your phone off.

Sam knew there wasn't a moment to waste. Whatever you had going on, he knew it was better for you to have back-up, despite what you thought. He hightailed it back to the bunker to wake up Dean and try to figure out what you're doing.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"She WHAT?!?" Dean roared.

"I saw her on the highway, headed out of town, so I called her to ask what was going on. All she told me was that there was something she had to handle, and she'd be back in 2 or 3 days at most. I tried to get her to pull over and wait for us, so we could go with her. She said we had enough to deal with on our own, that she wasn't going to put this on us. Then she hung up, and I haven't been able to reach her since," Sam explained.

Dean cast his eyes downward and shook his head. "That stubborn woman. Doesn't she know that I--we--would drop everything to help her? That hunting alone in a highly emotional state is dangerous? What if something goes wrong, what if she zigs instead of zags and she ends up getting hurt? Or worse?" he whispered the last part.

Sam studied his brother as he ranted about you and your decision to hunt alone. Granted, he had the same thoughts as Dean, that he was worried about you, but with Dean....it was more. "You care about her, don't you?" he asked.

"Of course I do, Sam! She's my best friend," Dean snapped.

Sam gave his brother an epic bitch face. "C'mon, Dean. You know what I'm talking about," Sam admonished.

Dean couldn't form the words at first, so he just nodded. "Been wanting to tell her for a long time, man. I decided that last night was time to 'nut up or shut up', which is why I waited until our Movie Night in the 'Cave. I was going to tell her everything," he explained. "She's amazing, Sam. So sweet and kind, smart, she's got the best sense of humor and she's an awesome hunter. Damn gorgeous, too."

Sam chuckled softly at his brother's assessment of you. "So, you said this had something to do with Ruthie. Wouldn't Ruthie's house be the first place she's going to go?" Sam asked, to which Dean nodded. "Okay. I'm going to go shower, then we're gonna pack up and head in that direction. You with me?" Sam inquired, his hand out for Dean to take.

"Yeah, let's do this," he said as he locked hands with his brother to bring him in for a bro hug. Dean caught a whiff of Sam's shirt and immediately drew back, waving in front of his nose, which was wrinkled in disgust. "Whoa, dude, you reek! Get to the showers, man, before I pass out!" he grinned. Sam shook his head, and as he left, Dean clapped a hand on his shoulder.

After Sam left the room, Dean pulled out his phone and dialed your number, only to have it go straight to voicemail. He decided to lay it all out on the line and let the chips fall where they may.

"Hey, sweetheart. Listen, Sam told me you're on your way out of town, on a case. I-I know you have your reasons for doing this alone, and I hope you'll tell me sometime. But please, honey, whatever you do, be careful," Dean pleaded.

"I'm....I'm not gonna lie to you, I'm kinda freaking out right now, 'cause you're out there, alone, and you don't have to be. I wish you were here with me, because then I'd know you were safe. Please call me back when you get this," he ended the message and started packing.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Ruthie was sitting on her front porch when you pulled your car into her driveway. You got out of the car, grabbed your duffel bag with your clothes and headed into the house. Ruthie's husband, Jim, was waiting inside the door and gave you a hug when you came in. He took your bag and put it in the back bedroom, where you would be sleeping. Ruthie gave you a hug as well and asked you to join her in the kitchen while she made you something for lunch.

A plate with a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, chips and two cookies was placed in front of you. "EAT. Then, you're going to tell me why you didn't want the Lumberjack Brothers to join you on this case," she remarked grimly. "You know, they've been calling me, asking what's going on and if I've seen you. They're worried about you, sweetie, especially Dean. He sounded miserable," she added.

You dropped your head to the table. "Oh, man, that is the last thing I wanted. I thought I'd come here, take care of things and that would be it. Zip, zap, no muss, no fuss. I can see now that was a mistake," you admitted. You pulled out your phone and turned it back on, only to see about 10 missed calls and 4 voicemails from Sam.

There were twice as many calls from Dean, but only one voicemail message. You punched in the code and waited for the recording to start. What you heard was the last thing you expected. Instead of an angry tirade, you heard the concern, the understanding, but mostly the fear in his voice that you were out here on your own. You realized that you had made a huge mistake in thinking you could work this case without them. Time to face the music, you thought.

With trembling fingers, you accessed your contacts list and selected Dean's number. You wondered if he'd even pick up, and if he did, how would he react to you calling him? You had to try, had to start somewhere. Just as you were about ready to hang up, you heard, "Hello? Sweetheart, is that you?" he asked.

"H-hey, Dean, it's me," you answered. There was an audible sigh of relief on his end. "Dean, I'm sorry for leaving and not telling you where I was going. I--" you started to explain, tears threatening.

"Never mind that right now, just listen. Sammy and I are on our way to Ruthie's right now, so stay there with her and Jim, where it's safe. We should be there in a couple of hours, hopefully less. I am very much looking forward to hearing your explanation of why you thought hunting on your own was such a good idea," Dean replied sternly.

You swallowed back a sob at hearing the disappointment in his voice. "Yes, Dean," you choked out. "I promise I'll wait here, talk to Ruthie and see if we can figure out what's going on," you whispered.

Dean agreed that talking about the case with Ruthie and getting some details down would be a good idea. "Hey?" he called.

"Yes, Dean?" you answered.

"Whatever this is, whatever is going on, we'll figure it out and fix it together. Remember, sweetheart?" he inquired softly.

"I do, I remember, Dean. See you soon," you responded.

After you hung up the phone, Ruthie pointed down the hall and ordered you to go get some rest. She said she would wake you up when Sam and Dean got there, and then you all could talk about the case.

You thought about protesting, but you figured you'd made enough bad choices already. Finally, you relented and trudged to the bedroom at the end of the hall. Once inside, you changed into more comfy sleep clothes and crawled beneath the blankets. As soon as your head hit the pillow, you were out cold.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Around a couple of hours later, you awoke from your peaceful slumber to voices and laughter in the kitchen. You splashed some water on your face, took a swig of mouthwash then pointed yourself towards the voices. Ruthie looked up to see you standing in the doorway. "Hey! There she is! Did you enjoy your nap, honey?" she asked.

You nodded. With your eyes transfixed on Sam and Dean, mostly Dean, you tried to gauge their mood. Sam rose from the table, coffee cup in hand. He motioned that he was going to get a refill on his coffee, and as he passed by you, he squeezed then patted your shoulder.

"I'm going to get some coffee," you mumbled. As you walked by Dean, he stood up and you knew he was following you.

He brushed his knuckles up and down your bare arm. "Can we talk?" he murmured. You nodded and led him by the hand out to Ruthie's back porch. Dean stood next to you at the railing, neither of you speaking at first. You turned to Dean and opened your mouth to say something, then closed your mouth again as if you'd thought better of it.

"Okay, I'll start then," Dean remarked. "That night I asked you to watch a movie with me, this was what you were talking about with Ruthie? A case?" he asked.

"Yes. She told me about the stupid class reunion a while ago, and I had already decided that I didn't want to come back for it. But, when she said something else was happening here that was 'our kind of weird', I had to check it out," you replied.

"But why didn't you tell me or Sam about it? Why did you think you had to do this all on your own?" he demanded.

"Dean, we just got back from a series of back-to-back hunts. You and Sam were exhausted, I was trying to give you guys time to rest. Besides, you two have enough going on, you don't need me adding to your list," you retorted.

"So, what, you don't think you need rest as well? Last time I checked, you got thrown around pretty good on that last salt-and-burn we did," Dean snapped.

"Dean, she's my sister! No matter what, no matter when or why, if she calls, I drop everything and come running. That's how it works," you shot back.

He put his hands on your shoulders then ran them down your arms and cupped your elbows to pull you closer. "Sweetheart, I understand that, really I do, but you are just as important to us. If you had brought us in on this case, exhausted or not, we would've dropped everything for you," he affirmed.

You laid a hand alongside his face. "I know, Dean, and I'm sorry for running out like that on you and Sam," you replied gently. "Let's go back inside and Ruthie will fill us in on what she knows. Then we can hopefully fill in the blanks," you started to walk back into the house.

Dean caught your hand in his and pulled you back to face him. "Hey. I'm still a little upset with you," he declared as he narrowed his eyes at you a bit. Then he cupped your cheek and caressed it with his thumb. "But I'm also glad you're okay and that we're working this together," he added, softening his gaze. He pressed his lips to your forehead in a lingering kiss and you closed your eyes to savor the moment. "Come on, let's head inside to see what we're dealing with," he said.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

You and Dean walked back into the kitchen, hand-in-hand, which did not escape anyone's notice. "I was just starting to tell Sam what I know, Sis," Ruthie informed you. "I was in the grocery store the other day, and I heard someone mention Trevor Morrison's name."

"Ugh," you remarked, rolling your eyes and making a noise of disgust. "And?"

"And, they were saying that he just got back from some overseas trip, and that there was a late-night delivery to his house the following day," Ruthie explained.

"How big was the delivery? Did anyone see any strange markings on the package?" you inquired.

"No one mentioned seeing anything strange on the box. Size-wise, not that big, maybe the size of a phone book and about as thick," Ruthie answered.

"Sam, do you think you can patch in to the cargo plane manifests and figure out what it could be?" Dean asked.

"Let me see what I can do, Dean," Sam replied, taking out his laptop.

While Sam was getting his laptop set up, Dean noticed the troubled expression on your face and pulled you aside. "What's the deal with you and Trevor Morrison?" he asked.

You took a deep breath to calm yourself before responding. "He's an ex-boyfriend from high school. We were supposed to go to Prom together, but we sorta didn't after I found out that he cheated on me with the head cheerleader," you muttered.

Dean put his arm around you and rubbed his hand up and down your back. "I'm so sorry that happened to you, sweetheart," he murmured.

"I got it, here it is. The Grimoire of Astaroth is what Trevor had delivered to his house," Sam swung the laptop around to show everyone the packing slip.

"So, what's the significance?" you asked. "Who's Astaroth?"

"Astaroth is a demon, who makes his appearance by riding a dragon-like creature and carrying a viper in his right hand. The lore says he knows the answers to the Past, Present and Yet to Come, and can discover all secrets," Sam explained.

"That's an awful lot of power in the hands of one man," you warned. "We need to get in to his house and retrieve that Grimoire."

"Leave that to me, dear sister," Ruthie said with a smug grin on her face.

You quirked an eyebrow at her statement. "And just how do you propose to get us in there?" you asked.

"I can get everyone tickets for the reunion. You go in with Sam or Dean, then Jim and I will go in with you. Whoever doesn't go in is in charge of surveillance, telling us where the cameras and security guards are. Sound good?" Ruthie suggested.

You, Sam and Dean looked at each other in silent communication. "It's worked for us in the past, I don't see why it won't work this time," you acknowledged. "Which one of you is going in with me?" you asked.

The boys looked at each other, brought up their fist for Rock, Paper, Scissors. You and Ruthie both rolled your eyes at the way that this was being decided, but you knew this was the easiest way. "Okay, winner goes in to the party, loser is stuck with surveillance," Dean said.

"Ready? One, two, three!" Sam counted. He chose paper, while Dean chose scissors. A smile as wide as the Grand Canyon broke out over Dean's face.

"You bring your 'Fed threads'?" you asked.

"Always, sweetheart. What about you? Do you need to go shopping for something to wear?" Dean inquired.

Ruthie spoke up. "I'm sure I have something she can wear. I might have picked something up for her when I was out shopping for my own dress," she added with a wry grin.

Your eyes narrowed at her. "Did you set this up just to get me out here?" you exclaimed.

"Relax, would ya? No, I did not set this up, but there is definitely something weird going on. You coming out here is just a nice little side bonus," she stated simply. "Come on, let me show you what you'll be wearing."

"I'm going out to the car and get our bags," Dean announced.

As you walked by Sam, you caught him chuckling quietly to himself. You took hold of the open sides of his flannel shirt and yanked him downward. "You lost on purpose, didn't you? You KNOW he always chooses scissors, and you planned your move accordingly, right?" you remarked, then let go of his shirt.

"I have no idea what you're talking about. If you'll excuse me, I have to set up surveillance," Sam replied, still with a smirk on his face. "But you're welcome," he said in a sing-song voice.

"Yeah, right, you have no idea what I'm talking about," you mumbled. "Ruthie! Where's this dress you have for me?" you barked then walked down the hall towards her room.

"Step into my office, sister dear. It's time to make some magic!" Ruthie declared.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"Where did you get this dress? It's gorgeous!" you whispered.

"You'd better hope Dean's wearing socks, because you're going to knock them off of him when he sees you," Ruthie smirked.

"I don't know about that, but thank you so much for this," you turned and gave Ruthie a hug.

The floor-length dress was a one-shoulder, with the strap encrusted with crystals in a starburst pattern. The bodice was black, which continued down the length of the dress until it faded into a deep red at about knee-level. There was a band of crystals at the waist to divide the top half from the bottom half. A pair of black pumps completed the outfit.

Ruthie even did your makeup for you which was great, because as a hunter, you didn't have much call for it. She curled and fluffed your hair, pulling it back on each side with crystal-encrusted clips. "There, I think that should do it, don't you think?" she remarked.

You stared at yourself in the full-length mirror, trying to recognize yourself. "Whoa. This can't be me. Is it?" you asked.

"Of course it is, silly," Ruthie chuckled. "Now wait here while I get ready, then we'll walk out there together. I'll go first, save the best for last," she giggled, while you just shook your head at her in amusement.

While the two of you were getting ready, Dean slipped out and found a place that was able to rent him a tux at the last minute. He was looking forward to going to this party, because it meant he'd be going with you on his arm.

Ruthie was wearing a floor-length navy blue dress, strapless, with a gathered bodice. The pattern was criss-crossed in the chest area, so it held everything in place. "Okay, Sis, it's your turn. Come on down!" she called.

You stepped into your black suede pumps and nervously strode down the hall, fidgeting nearly the entire way. Sam saw you first, a look of surprise mixed with wonder flitted across his face. But his was not the opinion you sought, the one that meant the most to you was yet to be determined.

Dean raised his head and locked his eyes with yours when you stepped fully into the room. His eyes widened and his lips slightly parted in amazement, then closed. He slowly walked towards you and held out his hand for you to take, which you did. Dean raised your hand to his lips, brushing them gently across your knuckles. "Wow. Sweetheart, you look gorgeous," he rumbled in that deep, sexy voice of his.

You could feel the heat rising from your neck, all the way to the ends of your hair. "Thank you, Dean. Might I say, you look particularly handsome yourself in that not-Fed-suit tuxedo," you noted with a small curtsy.

"Whaaaat? This old thing?" he replied then held out his arm for you. "Shall we, milady?" he asked.

"We shall, good sir," you answered, taking his arm and feeling him tuck yours in close to his side. "Here," you reached into your small handbag and pulled out the keys. "You can drive my car, because I know there will be valet parking. And there's no way you'll let anyone park Baby except you," you remarked.

"You're right about that, darlin'. You trust me to drive your car?" Dean asked.

You stopped him and stared straight into his emerald eyes. "I trust you with my life, Dean. Why wouldn't I trust you with my car?" you reasoned. When the two of you reached your car, Dean opened the passenger door and waited to close it until you and your dress were all settled.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

The short ride over to Morrison Manor was mostly silent, except for the rumble of the engine. Dean took hold of your hand and interlaced your fingers. Every once in a while, you'd catch him looking in your direction, so you sent him an encouraging smile. He would respond by lifting your joined hands to his lips and pressing a kiss to the back of your hand. The toothy grin he gave you afterwards was more than enough to make your heart flutter in your chest.

Dean pulled up to the valet station, stepped out and hurried over to your side of the car to open your door. He held out his hand to help you exit the car, which you readily accepted. Just before you entered the manor, Dean tugged on your arm to pull you back a little. "You ready for this?" he asked softly.

You looked at Dean and gave him a soft smile. "Yep. We go in, get the Grimoire, then get out. The rest of it, facing everyone in there? That's nothing. I don't owe anyone an explanation, nor am I required to have lived up to their expectations. I'm good with who I am, with who you and Sam are. I'm proud of us," you replied while you walked into the event.

Dean leaned over and placed a lingering kiss to your temple. "Let's do this," he murmured against your skin. You nodded slowly and the two of you walked in behind Ruthie and Jim.

Sam's voice came over your earpiece. "Okay, I've found it. The book is in his study, but unfortunately, so is he at the moment. You'll have to do something until he's clear," he informed you and Dean.

"Come on, sweetheart. Dance with me," Dean said, leading you to the dance floor. You followed, and Dean took your left hand and curled his fingers around it. His other hand snaked around your waist and splayed across your back. The contact of his fingertips on your partially bare back caused you to gasp at the sensation.

"Relax, darlin', it's just dancing," Dean whispered in your ear.

Easy for you to say, you thought, with your heart beating a mile a minute. At that moment, the voice you never wanted to hear again was demanding your attention. Your dance with Dean was interrupted by none other than the former head cheerleader, Amber.

Dean must have sensed your apprehension because he tightened his hold on you all the more, making sure you knew he was there for you. "Do you trust me?" he asked. You nodded slowly.

Amber stood in front of you and Dean, holding on to Trevor's arm. "Well, well, well. Look who decided to grace us with her presence. I thought you weren’t coming," she drawled. Shifting her attention to Dean, Amber let out a low whistle. "Wow, she must have paid a fortune for you," she sneered.

"Excuse me? That happens to be my wife you're talking about, and I think you should be a little more respectful," Dean snapped.

"Ha! You expect me to believe that? You and her, husband and wife? Prove it. Let me see the ring," Amber demanded.

You looked around nervously, but when your eyes met Dean's, he gave you an almost imperceptible wink. "Honey? You left this on the sink in the bathroom, remember? You must've taken it off while you were getting ready for tonight," Dean pulled a ring out of his pocket and slid it onto your left ring finger. He brought your hand to his lips and pressed a tender kiss to where he'd just placed the ring.

Amber gave you a snort of disgust and stormed off, while Trevor shook his head at Amber's lack of manners. "Excuse me, I have a business matter to attend to," he left you and walked off in the opposite direction as Amber.

"That was smooth, and quick thinking, thank you. Where did you get the rings?" you inquired.

Dean wiggled his left hand for you to see his ring before grasping your left hand. "Remember that museum job where we went undercover?" he asked, to which you nodded. "Well, these are the rings we used for that case. Good thing I kept them in the glove compartment all this time," he declared.

"Thank you, Dean. I don't know what I'd do without you," you remarked, leaning into his embrace.

"No thanks necessary, darlin'," he replied while his hand settled on the small of your back.

"Uh, guys, I hate to interrupt, but a window of opportunity just opened to go into the study and grab that book," Sam interjected.

Dean released you from his hold and grinned as he searched your face. "Ready?" he asked. You nodded your head enthusiastically and took his outstretched hand in yours. "Then let's get this thing and go home," he remarked.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Around 90 minutes, a couple of slices of pizza and a beer or two later, everyone had returned to Ruthie's house to relax. The Grimoire of Astaroth was safely stowed in the warded compartment in the trunk of your car to escape detection. Once you returned to the bunker, it would be catalogued as had been done with other charmed or cursed objects.

"Who's up for another round?" you asked, rising from your chair at the kitchen table. Everyone raised their hand, so Dean got up to help you. Before you could open the refrigerator door for more beer, Dean caught your hand and motioned for you to follow him outside. Curious, you slipped out the back door to the porch and into the cool night air.

"You warm enough?" he asked.

"Yeah, I'm okay," you replied just as a shiver ran through you.

Dean chuckled. "Come here," he said as he unzipped his sweatshirt and wrapped his arms around you from behind.

"Mmm, that feels nice, thank you," you sighed and closed your eyes.

"There's something I've been meaning to tell you," Dean began. "You've been my best friend for the longest time, and I wouldn't trade that for the world. That's why what I'm going to say next is so difficult," he added.

You turned around in Dean's arms to face him. "Dean, no matter what it is, you know you can tell me and I'll still be your best friend," you tried to assure him.

Dean looked up to the starry sky and took a deep breath then locked eyes with you again. "I hope so, sweetheart, because I wanted to tell you I'm in love with you," he declared.

"What?" you whispered.

"It's true. You're smart, kind, you have the best sense of humor, even though you still laugh at my feeble attempts at telling jokes. You have the biggest heart of anyone I know, and your dedication to family is almost stronger than mine. As was just recently proven, I believe," he chuckled.

"Yeah," you returned his chuckle.

"And for me to say you're so beautiful just doesn't even cover it. From your eyes that look at things from a different perspective, to your cute little nose that crinkles when you're researching. From your smile that brightens up my day just to see it, to hands that are tough when swinging a machete and soft when sewing up an injury. Ones I can't wait to have roaming over every inch of my body while I'm taking my sweet time to learn every inch of yours," he explained.

"I had no idea you felt this way, Dean, but I'm glad you told me. Kinda makes what I have to say next so easy, which is I'm in love with you too. I have been for a long time, but I didn't want to give up what we had if you didn't love me. So I kept my feelings to myself," you finished.

"Oh, sweetheart," Dean whispered.

"There are so many things I love about you. Such as, you like to show the world how tough you are, but I know about the flip side of that. The one that tenderly patches me up after a hunt or takes care of me when I'm sick. Or holds me in his arms so I feel safe from my fears, real or imagined. The side that knows when something's bothering me and won't let up until it's out in the open. And believe me, you're no slouch in the looks department," you giggle at the last part.

"Really? Well, don't stop now, baby, I think you're really on to something," he replied.

"Let's start with the eyes. I know I can tell you anything and I won't see an ounce of judgement in them. Plus, they kind of shine when you talk about the things you love, like music," you started.

Your index finger began tracing a line down the edge of his jaw. "Your smile is contagious and it lights up the room. And last but not least," you whispered, inching ever closer. "I really want to know how soft your lips are. So, for the sake of science," you closed the gap and meshed your lips together with his.

The kiss itself was perfect, all you'd ever imagined, and then some. Your lips left his for a brief second until he recaptured them and dove back in for more. As your mouths moved in tandem, Dean's tongue swept along your bottom lip to request access, which you readily granted.

"Mmf, sweetheart, I love you so much," he murmured against your mouth. He nudged your head upwards to trail a path of open-mouthed kisses across and down your neck. Once he reached the place where your neck met your collarbone, he attached his lips and sucked at the skin. When he pulled back, he had left a mark there for all to see. "Now everyone will know who you belong to," he grinned.

"My heart was always yours, Dean. Always and forever," you sighed. "I love you."

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Tags:

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[katsidhe]

15.20 Final Thoughts

Supernatural is over, and somehow, despite itself, it did the very best it could to please me. That was always going to be an impossible task. But truly, sincerely, that finale was as close to my desires as the show could ever bring itself to come, and so, so much closer than I ever dreamed it would dare.

I am so, so glad that no other regular characters were involved (Bobby aside, but he was brief). How better to encapsulate their own emptiness? How fundamentally fitting, than in the epilogue to their final battle, wherein the entire world beyond them was erased, the wider universe is merely set dressing for them to move through. And it was so quiet this way. This finale wasn’t overcrowded or rushed. It kept its own peace. And it preserved the tangible claustrophobia that 15.19 invoked: that tangled, lovely, solipsistic, toxic conviction that these are the only two people on earth that matter.

It’s unclear exactly how much time passed between 15.19 and 15.20. I like to think it’s been at least a year, given that they’ve settled into routine and that their grief seems less fresh. (Although yes, the concept of Dean dying on his very first hunt without a resurrection available is hilarious, I must confess.) Their calm domesticity, their peace, was lovely to watch (Sam kicking the laundry machine! Sam with wet hair! Sam running! Sam cooking, Sam looking a little less bulky than usual, and happy!) But man, it really is Dean’s world, isn’t it? Even the DOG, which really, really, really could reasonably have been primarily Sam’s, was Dean’s dog first and foremost. Then on Dean’s say-so, they get in Dean’s car to drive to a pie festival for Dean. Sam is perfectly content to go along with all of it.

As if we hadn’t gotten enough delightful fanservice, we also got one last scene of Sam threatening to torture someone to death. :) what a king.

I love that Dean died to an OSHA violation while fighting a random loose end from season 1 (which, by the way, I CALLED IT, I am so proud of myself). It’s perfectly mundane. I truly and deeply do not understand anyone complaining that Dean should have gone out in a way that’s more epic. He’s been there, done that, guys, and remember how miserable it was? Now there’s no cosmic safety net. Dean died in a broken down old barn, saving some kids. Moments like these are when Dean is at his best, at his most fundamentally sympathetic: when he’s not trying to control the shape of the universe or dictate righteousness or let his anger drive himself down into a destructive spiral. He’s just putting his money where his mouth is. He’s not making a broad moral statement. He’s simply putting his life on the line to defend someone who needs defending. It is not an unworthy end. It’s so much better than going out to, god forbid, God.

Did Dean earn a lifetime of peace? The concept of just desserts is fraught. But I also don’t think it’s something Dean wanted. He wanted to keep killing things in tetanus-infested barns until he died. He got what he wanted. And while the arc of his wants has adapted over the years, MOTW hunting is fulfilling for him.

Dean’s deathbed speech was, oh man. It got me good. Like many of the things I loved in this episode, it was quiet. No desperation, no revising history (or not too much, anyway). Just, “stay with me, please. I love you. Tell me it’s okay.”

The quiet of Sam’s grief, alone in the bunker. How still his face is, until for a little bit it crumples again, and then it comes back and goes still. He’s not trying to control his reactions or press back against his sorrow. There is no work to do, nothing to avenge, no one to find, nothing to defeat. He is alone, and the washes of visible grief simply come and go in waves that he doesn’t try to fight or force.

I need the gif of him flinching at the toaster. His startle reactions are my favorite thing. He’s alone underground, there is not a living soul for miles and miles, he’s just buried his brother, not for the first time, but this time, he knows, for the last. And the goddamn toaster goes off and he cannot control the way his heart leaps up into his throat and the way every one of his muscles tightens.

Sam grows old. Sam. Grows old. Sam grows old! SAM GROWS OLD.

Ohhh my God, Sam grows old. Without Dean! Without hunting! Without Cas! With people outside that claustrophobic world, beyond the four tight walls of SPN, beyond the people approved by Dean and by Fandom, who give him peace and love and fulfillment! SAM GOT OUT. Even with the truly terrible wig the image brings me to actual tears. I cannot believe SPN would allow him to have this. I cannot believe that the show let him be happy without Dean. I want to read the set of novelizations about Sam’s recovery.

Of course this was the only way for Sam to get unwound, and of course it had to happen offscreen in flashes. Thank god for the ambiguity. There’s so much potential there, years and years, we were simply told: and at some point Sam’s life gets better, at some point his mental health improves and he feels safe enough to start a family, with someone, and at some point he has a child, and he dies peacefully, he dies loved and with people who love him, and dammit I’m getting weepy again.

Sam quit hunting. Not in a sudden jolt. We see him leaving the bunker on another job. But when he leaves the bunker, he leaves for good. He has so much knowledge, but he does not preserve the Men of Letters. He does not honor their legacy of extermination and experimentation. Maybe he gives someone else the keys, for the books. Or maybe he’s digitized it all, and maybe it’s done.

Maybe his wife is Eileen, or maybe it’s Amelia, or maybe it’s Piper or Cara or maybe it’s someone new. Maybe it’s not even a woman. And maybe she’s a hunter, but I hope she isn’t, and when Sam tells her, haltingly, in fits and starts, the bare outline of the truth, she looks at him and she believes him. And she understands the shape of the trauma he carries, even if Sam can’t quite speak the details, and maybe Sam goes to therapy. Maybe he doesn’t. Maybe he wakes in pain and fear for many years, but over time, it dulls.

Sam’s son is still a young man when Sam is on his deathbed, probably in at least his eighties. Think about the mountain Sam had to climb to reach that point. How many years and years of work did it take before Sam felt safe enough to want a child? How long for him to gently conquer his terror at the legacy his blood might carry: Lucifer and Azazel are dead, he knows this, but how long before he lets himself believe it enough to permit the risk? And then he raises his child, not in fear and loneliness, but with love and support and care. And he makes sure his son is protected, that he knows to salt his thresholds and ward against demons, but his son will not suffer the way he suffered.

Maybe he untangles his thoughts about Dean, maybe he learns that to feel angry with his brother is not to betray him or to dishonor his memory, maybe he comes to a more complex understanding of their relationship. Maybe he doesn’t. Maybe he simply enshrines Dean, and Dean’s memory becomes ever more golden and untarnished, and the Impala becomes truly an altar. The details of how Sam carries Dean with him—the watch, the car, the absurdly large photos, his son’s name—perhaps these are played straight, and perhaps Sam never finds a more nuanced love. In the meta sense I think we are certainly meant to think this. We are meant to see Dean deified here, canonized into a saint. We are meant to view Sam’s fifty more years of life as worship, as a dedication and an offering.

This is the long shadow of the finale. These are the things untouched by necessity and by design: this is Dean’s apology in 15.18, this is Sam not wanting an apology, and not wanting to hear Dean offer one. This difficult work was always and inevitably going to be elided. But there is so much time, decades and decades, offscreen, for Sam to come to a quieter peace.

I think he can do it.

I think Sam can do anything.

I’m crying again.

I really didn’t think I would cry much about the finale. I thought I would cry at the concept of the show ending, but not at what the ending was. I didn’t think any details would actually affect me. But then Sam got old. I am truly and genuinely hung up on the canonical image of Sam finding peace. Good god. He had GLASSES. Help.

My chief complaint (aside from that absolutely awful Carry On cover, why oh why, they should have just played the original again), if I felt at all like complaining at the moment, would be how happy this ending is. But I can’t begrudge Sam that. I can’t even get too mad at the scene that I was SO SURE I would despise: that of Sam and Dean content in a Heaven that is now apparently Great, Actually (even though a prison dimension with an open floor plan is still a prison dimension, but hey, I guess we humans can’t leave earth either). Supernatural clearly wanted Sam and Dean to not be facing down an abyssally bleak afterlife, and I think I’d be complaining about the lack of bleakness a whole lot more if it didn’t have the (perhaps unintended??) side effect of giving Sam even more freedom from Dean than SPN already deigned to give him. Sam isn’t in a shared cell with Dean. He can be with his friends and his wife and his son.

One of the fundamental questions of SPN is, would Dean ever let Sam go? And it’s a question that the bulk of s13-15 has rendered moot with Sam’s growing passivity, and one that 15.20 neatly dodged. And I’m glad it did, because I wouldn’t have liked whatever 15.20 had to say on the matter. This deflection feels true to the spirit of what the show has become.

It was impossible for Sam to find peace while Dean was still alive. And on its own that kind of says everything, doesn’t it? And Sam is still forever denied the peace he truly longed for. Sam didn’t want death to force Dean’s hand. Sam wanted Dean to want to let him go. But the only way Sam and Dean could heal is apart. The potential of their relationship on earth becoming untangled is forever precluded, explictly. And yet Sam’s freedom is validated, Sam is allowed what he sought in season 1 and season 8, Sam is something beyond a hunter and Dean’s brother, and the show let him be, the show let him grow.

Supernatural said Sam Rights, and the world shook.