#of being an atw10 liker despite originally it giving me the ick)

[jamestaylorswift]

I have complicated thoughts about atw10. I go back and forth on it - sometimes I hate it, sometimes I love it. but I think I always end up at those extremes because I can’t help but compare them.

first you have the og atw. perfect, no notes, whether or not you agree it’s her magnum opus it does deserve every bit of hype it gets because it’s a great fucking song. (the magnum opus conversation is intertwined with the lore about the song - that taylor wrote it all in a vent sesh with her band; that it wasn’t a single but became a fan favorite because it’s a great fucking song; that there’s A Scarf™️; that taylor recognized all this history and played it up; that by rerecording her music taylor gets the opportunity to carefully prune, as one would a bonsai tree, narratives and how her eras are remembered and how this is the one she’s cemented in history; that now the focus on a song’s lore has intentionally and unintentionally become integral to its endurance and popularity….) the original song has extreme dynamic peaks and valleys despite its nearly unwavering four chord progression. it has lines about autumn leaves and repeat phone calls so insightful that you marvel at how anyone could have been so talented as to string those precise words together. but its emotional punch is twofold: the details are just clear enough to make you recall one of your own experiences and just hazy enough to prevent the writer’s experience replacing yours. the whole thesis is about remembering all too well, forever. you can’t get rid of it. because you remember it. you remember it all. the song is a tour de force and taylor’s skillful manipulation of emotional/musical tension in this song is something that will be appreciated and studied for years to come.

then on the other hand you have atw10, which not only sounds and reads differently but could even be considered antithetical, or at least a foil, to the original song. the zeniths and nadirs are less pronounced and she expands the story with new verses largely interpreted to be about a toxic relationship with an age gap. the musical arrangement is more modern and features an expanded palette of instruments: tension and release comes from subtle harmonic differences, staccato background vocals, or a wild violin. the new verses - were they really part of the original song? or do they clearly betray the perspective of someone who’s 10 years older? the short film - it hammers home this exact expanded story and was admittedly written as a retrospective, with the insight that being 10 years removed from a toxic relationship provides. the ultimate effect is that atw10 is not about remembering it all because you can’t get rid of it. it’s about taylor remembering it all, even though she can finally get rid of it. the “it” is clearly her own experience (though this is not to say the atw10 story is not a relatable story or that it’s not a valuable story to tell or hear.) “I was there, I was there….” the memories and the pain all trail away with time. but, these memories are very clearly not yours, the listener’s. atw10 may be an expansion of the original all too well story, but this expansion does not simply intensify the same emotions from the original song—it explores a rather different emotional profile. musically and lyrically, and whether intentional or not, atw10 argues that the pain of remembering is dulled and even remedied with time.

and thus the ways that atw10 excels and fails are quite different than the ways the og atw does. whether one is “good” or “bad” depends what we value in a song, and more generally, why we enjoy the songs that we do and the extent to which we value an artist’s interpretation of their own experiences. have we been in toxic relationships and can relate to the specific story of atw10? are there traumas we can’t heal no matter how hard we try? are we moved by brash drums and isolated guitars or playful violins atop chords that chug on and on? does taylor swift’s word supplement or supplant our own connections with her songs?

I know that I personally would find atw10 less confusing if I stopped comparing it to its shorter relative. but the various lengths and mediums in which the all too well story is told make it seem destined that we’ll all be comparing the versions until the end of time. and yet just as there are shades of red for every possible intense emotion - burning, cherry, so scarlet, maroon - so are there reasons to love all too well. just as it will endure in the popular zeitgeist as one of taylor’s best, most famous, most impactful, most beloved songs, so too must all too well live on in every listener because of (and only because of) each and every one of us loving it for unique reasons.