#of all energy to exercise
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> I go to calculate my BMI on a website
> Straight up just gets called obese
#.txt#pr0ana/th1nsp0 do not fucking touch this post this aint about you#anyways god its so fucking hard#knowing how BMI is a load of inaccurate bullshit and knowing that being fat isn’t inherently unhealthy and etc etc etc#and I can easily apply those ideas to other people! I don’t look at other fat people and get disgusted. i see them as normal people#but for myself its so hard to fucking apply that#its so hard to believe ‘i can still be overweight and healthy’ when it comes to Myself#and its so hard to Not give in to the fatphobic shit that has been drilled into my head for decades#from schools to media to literally my own parents telling me I’m getting fat and that i’m lazy and so on and so forth#telling me how I should eat less#just. i dont knkw.#i wish to stress this isnt about other fat people at all i really love y’all#this is about Me#internalized fatphobia tw#vent#im scared im just goign to keep gaining kore and more weight the older i get too. which sucks.#and i Should work out more and i Should eat healthier but I’m depressed and tired all the time and school and fucking LIVING drains me#of all energy to exercise
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I don't like the judo flip in moa as much as the next guy but in my eyes it's largely the result of rick not taking female violence half as seriously as male violence (a result of viewing women as weaker and inferior to men such that their acts of violence don't need to be taken as seriously) and not so much anything about annabeth herself. like I do genuinely feel that annabeth is a complex heroine and definitely one of the better ones in the realm of ya action-adventure fiction produced in the past 25 years but she is still a girl being written by a man and all I'm saying is that her writing clearly reflects that sometimes (more in tags)
#case in point: the amazons#hazel: you keep slaves????#kenzie: no. the men just know their place#like...... sure jan. the parody of amazon the company isn't actually using immoral labor the workers just like it that way 🥰#but that line about “knowing their place” would not fly the other way around#because women in power are not taken as seriously as a group of men dominating female workers would be#(we could talk about the futurama amazons too in this context because it's pretty much the same issue of female violence not#being taken seriously and played for laughs instead. iykyk)#do you guys know that trope of girls who are just comically aggressive and mean towards guys who barely reciprocate the energy#(like the majority of the female cast of naruto falls into this trope. again iykyk)#it's like a shallow attempt to write a strong female character by just making her an Angry mean nasty man-hater#or it's just a validation of some nerd's worldview that women are just always so mean towards men who never do anything wrong#and they definitely don't have power over women in society women are just Like that. for some reason#anyways if you couldn't tell by my pfp I'm an annabeth fan so I definitely don't mean this in an anti-annabeth way#just in a Critical of the way rick portrays women way#specifically women that he wants to come off as strong/powerful#and if you are a fellow annabeth stan and feel upset by this all I can say is that it isn't a bad thing to be critical of the way our faves#are written and in fact critical reading is a very important skill to exercise 👍#this is also why I'm annoyed by the “annabeth is abusive” allegations because it's like Ok she's clearly not intended to come off that way#so instead of meaninglessly antagonizing annabeth (who isn't real) or fans who enjoy her/the ship in its entirety#what can we glean about the flaws of the writing. what can we glean about biases of the author who wrote the damn thing#(not saying I even agree with the allegations to begin with because I Don't but yk)#this whole thing stems from social constructs around gender (everything else in the world does) i.e. public reception to female violence#where real world female violence isn't taken seriously so female criminals face less harsh punishments OR the other way around and female#cruelty is received as even more egregious than male cruelty because how dare a woman be anything but kind and nurturing and angelic#btw this is not a safe space to be anti percãbeth/annabeth in my notifs keep that to yourself bud 👍#rr crit#pjo hoo toa#percy jackson
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what if Joker Out is an all virgin band. Because they got obsessed with music and school and forgot everything else and never really dated and never knew where to start from. So all those hotline promos were just them fantasizing that they know what they're doing. Maybe only Nace a proper adult joining from outside, looking at the horny but totally inexperienced bunch of guys and thinking "ufff 😳 do I... do I help?..."
Anyways where were I? oh right, Joker Out are all actually virgins conspiracy
kwjekewkjwj nonny wdym "what if" this is real, they're all music nerds and no one in the band had sex til nace joined, this is fact
i like to imagine the others all lying to each other that they've had sex but one by one nace gradually finds out they're all virgins and slowly goes insane with this knowledge – one day they're all joking about sex but it's just so obvious they have no idea what they're talking about and nace just stands up and goes "you all sound like TEENAGERS, if any of you want to ACTUALLY know what sex is like i will be in my HOTEL ROOM goodnight" and leaves
#who actually follows him to his room that's for you to decide#personally i do think jure Fucks undoubtably like he just has that energy but for the sake of the bit#they all virgins#nace is like HOW did you guys write umazane misli and demoni. HOW.#joker out#ask#also just in case anyone takes this too srs ~for legal reasons this is a joke/imagination exercise~
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hi there Stell, good luck in the tourney! i'm plopping starstruck dee here in your inbox for a hot second!
she wants to know what's up with the economy and you seem like you might know! she also wants to tell you that you have the most amazing beautiful wings she's ever seen and also that your gun blades are soooooo incredibly super cool and you look like you must be really good at them and also that it's totally impressive that you live on a star and she wonders if that means the two of you are friends and also th
[Obtained(?): +1 Conversation Buddy] Good luck, Starstruck!
#qna#stell#parhelion knight#starstruck dee#doodles#kirby oc tournament#Gonna speak on Stell's behalf and say thank you for the well wishes!#Starstruck's enthusiasm is So endearing and adorable! Shame all that energy is being wasted on the grumpiest guy alive asdlkfsdjfn#Sorry most of her questions were answered with Incredibly Noncommital responses hope the doodle makes up for it hahaha#This tourney is a real exercise in self control on Stell's part big props for them!
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My back and neck hurt like HELL so you know what? New headcannon just dropped. Jeremy Heere has scoliosis. That's one of the reasons why he slouches. He's just like me, fr! 😍😍
#i've been cracking my neck over and over and over and over again#im losing it chat#i have mild scoliosis but my back muscles are really weak and my umotivated adhd-ass does not have the energy to do my PT exercises 😭😭#and i look insane cracking my neck over and over in public 😭#and sometimes I'll get caught in a loop of cracking it a bunch of times in a row and I only stop when people look at me all weird#icyhot save me#biofreeze save me#wth was this post about#oh yeah#be more chill musical#be more chill#bmc#jeremy heere#jeremy heere has scoliosis
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The more i think about it and the more I look around i realize that I'm not even that fat it's just that most men are just too skinny. That's the real tea here.
#My fitness goal now (which I'm not doing anything about mind you) is to get wider and more defined#Im not setting any goals regarding losing or gaining fat I'm just gonna see what's gonna happen#But i swear once i get over this cold some light exercise at home and next month real workout regimen#Because I am unfortunately one of those people who can fix everything with exercise#I'm just also flaky and inconsistent and always had unrealistic goals#That wouldn't work out even if I put all my time and energy into achieving them
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#vent#sorry god not to use this as a space for that since i almost never do but i am. so frustrated.#so context is that over this year i have lost. like. A Concerning Amount Of Weight. without changing anything about my lifestyle.#hell if anything i’m doing worse on that front because i have no fucking energy now. i am constantly exhausted and dizzy. i can’t eat as#well as i used to and i can’t exercise. i do not feel good!!!#but i can’t say a goddamn thing to my family because the minute they hear ‘lost weight’ it’s like their brains turn off and they don’t hear#the rest of what’s going on. it’s purely positive for them.#EVEN IF I DID NOT FEEL LIKE SHIT. AND I VERY MUCH DO. I STILL WOULD NOT LIKE MY BODY SUDDENLY CHANGING ON ME LIKE THAT.#i liked how i looked and i liked how i felt.#i felt so much fucking stronger and more alert like 30 pounds ago. now im always tired and none of my clothes fit and im cold because all my#fucking padding got taken away from me!!!! i needed that!!!!!!!!#im just hoping Something shows up in my bloodwork this month to clue me in to what’s going on because this can’t continue. i hate this.
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i really wanna redesign the strawhats timeskip designs because i hate all of them with my soul but the thing is every time i try theres a good chunk of them i wouldnt actually know How to change, or if i Did change them itd just be one completely insignificant thing. like sanji barely changes but he WOULD grow that Thing on his face. doesnt mean i have to like it though. ptooey. OR. OR. hell, id just be fighting my urges to keep them the same as pretimeskip. if its not broke dont fix it... etc...
#might do it anyways tbh. maybe. possibly. if i have energy. which i dont. but maybe it could be a good exercise#ive seen other people do them and theyre always Fun and Cool AF but ive noticed peoples redesigns are always really Complicated/Complex#guys nickys complaining about timeskip for the 6th time this month somebody put him in the fridge#i should just make one big complaining nitpicking post. get it all out of my system. heads up for that. just ignore me. please#i just hate all timeskip redesigns in any media ever. the only character to ever semi-win a timeskip redesign lottery is lucio overwatch 2#chat
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the amazing, showstopping, incredible @musicallisto enables me daily <3333
for your consideration <3; you may now rest soundly in the knowledge that i am, in all things, correct.
#not kpop#.jpeg#'olive wtf why are you posting f1 here on your kpop account don't you have a sideblog specifically for this?'#and what if i want to merge my two (2) personality traits and what if i think it vital the kpop girlies know i beef with random famous men?#my beef with george russell continues to go on strong and largely unexplained#obviously lance stroll and i don't fuck with each other.#and moving up the tiers; if i knew estie bestie irl and we were in competition i would tear his throat out and thrive off of his failboy#moments. but because he's only on my silly little screen i can also find him funny on occasion#lando is here for reasons more complicated.#that whole row of 'they're here i guess' is very self explanatory#i put valterri there because i didn't know where else to put him but also i find his occasionally Strange behavior fun. weird uncle core.#and if i'm a checo apologist? what then??#fernando is an icon yes yes but very little brainspace is dedicated to him.#max verstappen deserves a category of his own where in i can go: love hate relationship (pos) i see too much of myself in you to hate but#also when i put aside your loser cringe content and your champion energy i feel like we wouldn't be particuarly close if we were to exist i#the same space at the same time#and then the rest of that row is beloved <333 darling <333 zhou can sweetcorn post more that's all i want from you tbh#and top row makes sense i fear? oscar has been promoted whoop whoop.#if i could isolate his personality and put it in a petri dish that would be a wonderful exercise in personality formation thanks
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friends i am begging you, if you want to get a dog and have never had one before, DO YOUR RESEARCH ON BREEDS.
i was working with a lady the other day who was telling me she wanted a puppy and had never had one before, so she went and adopted a 7 month old husky/border collie mix from the shelter after being denied at [pet store] for working too many hours. i'm pretty sure she got this dog because it has complete heterochromia and is a very tidy black and white, like a standard border collie.
please. do NOT do this. look into what dog breed will BEST fit your lifestyle. if you work long hours, do NOT get a working dog breed. maybe even don't get a dog. maybe get a less affectionate cat. i do not give a single FUCK if the dog is pretty. do both yourself and the dog a favor and get the dog that fits your life!!! do not get a working dog and stick it in an apartment or house and wonder why it's eating your furniture and destroying your house!!!
#i was just. i wanted to tell her 'this was a horrible decision.'#i was telling her that both of those dog breeds are breeds that need jobs. that were bred to work for HOURS. that they're so so smart.#she got it on friday and went back to work monday and worked 14 hours.#fwiw she wasn't supposed to work 14 hours but the nature of our job and all.#i didn't want to tell her to give the dog back but that's honestly what i was thinking#just. as someone who has grown up around dogs. and as someone who's family had dogs we had no business owning#dogs we had to grow into deserving of them. as someone who's watched people who love their dogs but definitely don't do right by them.#please. for the love of god.#do not get a dog just because it's pretty. make sure it fits what you're wanting in your life.#if you want a couch potato dog do NOT get a german shepherd or a malinois or a husky or aussie#do NOT get a working breed dog because they're cool#even couch potato pups need exercise#if you're not willing to put in the time and effort any dog takes do not get a dog#fun fact: apparently someone where i live decided it'd be a good idea to breed a malinois and a golden/poodle#so now a rescue has a litter of golden/poodle/malinois mixed pups. can you say neurotic basket case with too much intelligence and energy?
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#ok this one will be a vent#vent#tw vent#I can't fucking understand how there are people who don't constantly want to off themselves#like I can't even imagine that#it's beyond me#there was never time in my life when I weren't suicidal even my earliest child memories are connected to wanting to off myself#and also how the fuck am I supposed to do this all this stuff and have time for friends & family and have time for hobbies and have time to#rest and have time to do basic stuff like cooking and exercise#when most of my energy goes to not killing myself#idkidk it's all awful#I know you guys can't do anything with it and I promise I receive a lot of care and help from others so dw#it's just... idk bottling this keeps getting harder ig#I don't want to be a bummer so sorry for that#if you could send me a hug gif or something like that I'd be thankful
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[Ugh do you know how HARD this one was for me to figure out when we still have so much BETWEEN THEM to work out??? Have they told each other they love one another yet? Will they, would they? Anyway I did my best and it still hurt >.> ~750 words on the theme of pining for the impossible and a big big problem with bonded souls.]
You're Not Mine
She didn’t want to think about the time drawing to an end, she almost didn’t… want to keep progressing, knowing that every step forward she took in gaining control over her wild half also drew her a step closer to having to… leave.
She didn’t want to leave. She didn’t want to be apart. She wanted him to come with her even though she knew it was impossible, he never would, and yet she could not stay here forever, the thought of drawing out her return to the fox left her writhing with guilt. It wasn’t fair, it wasn’t fair, and yet all she could do was cling onto every moment she had while it was still there for her to hold.
“Ahuska,” Thirteen’s voice was gently amused. “How about you not dig in those claws like you’re holding on for dear life.”
“Sorry, sorry-” she winced and pulled back her hands from around his waist, folding them self consciously against her chest only to have one of his strong, long-fingered hands wrap around hers and tug it gently back to his side.
She shivered, then sighed, and tucked her face under his chin. “It’s not fair,” she whispered, as she had countless times before.
He knew what she meant. He felt what she meant. And he softly sighed in kind, knowing he could no more lie to her than cut out his own tongue. “It isn’t,” he agreed, moving his hand to rub slow, comforting circles between her shoulderblades.
“I don’t want a life without you in it,” she murmured, her muzzle sleek and soft against his jawline.
And it hurt him, as it hurt her, and he was silent for a while as he tried to find the words that would help her understand why she yearned for the impossible. “Ahuska. I love you, but you’re not mine,” he whispered, but as sweet and earnest as his tone was, he couldn’t guard against the way her heart twisted to hear it.
“Why not, why not? Your heart is big enough for me as well, I know it, I know it…”
“Big enough for your love, maybe,” he said, his hand sliding to the back of her head, fingers weaving through her hair, hoping to soothe her before speaking further. Their hearts shared their melancholy, their wistfulness, their frustration at a galaxy that had pressed them together when they could not be. He tilted his head and kissed the bridge of her muzzle. “Your love, but not your hate.”
“What- what?” She gave her head a fierce little shake against his face. “I don’t hate you. I never hated you, you know I don’t blame you for the way anything happened…”
“Five,” Thirteen said, and the way she twisted against him, her response so deep and visceral that the revulsion echoed in his own heart, only made him more certain.
She hid her grimace by tucking her face between his neck and the cushion, but she could do nothing to keep her own feelings from him. “So what? You’re not him.”
“But I love him,” Thirteen answered simply. “You have every right to hate him, and I would never ask you to change that, to forgive him for my sake.”
“So what’s…”
“I don’t blame you for your feelings. But I can’t stand to feel them for myself, and I’m sure you don’t appreciate sharing mine.”
She didn’t.
Opening her heart to him had been… oh, it had been everything, to know one another so perfectly, man and bothan and wolf and hawkbat, but she knew how carefully they skirted around the subject of Five. She didn’t want their bond tainted with an awareness of Thirteen’s love and loyalty for him…
And how could Thirteen go to him, with Ahuska’s seething aversion simmering in the back of his mind?
How could she do that to him?
“Don’t,” he whispered, feeling her on the verge of spiralling. “You’re bigger than the mess life made of you. You’ll be unstoppable one day, and you won’t need me.”
She shuddered, and closed her eyes as she tucked herself more closely against him. “But I want you.”
“And right now you have me,” he reminded her as he kissed her on the forehead. Please, gods. He fought to convince himself as strongly as he wished it for her. Let it be enough.
#swtor#swtor fic#imperial agent#and a lil force sensitive bothan#in the process of learning how to not murder people by accident#something something overcoming imperial conditioning#anyway I'm so grateful for all the asks folk sent#I have not had much at all by way of art energy this week#so it's nice to have something different to exercise creativity on#and mulling over the potential stories#helps get through the damp and dreary work days#I am#so very weary#XD#dingoat writes
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Lost my mind thinking about the Vyer Estate (Patreon)
#Doodles#SCII#Helix#Max Vyer#Dexter Favin#So while I'm not usually one to draw backgrounds I am actually Really into architecture and a little into decor and room design haha#Do I know much more than the basics? Nope! But I'm still fascinated by it :)#Some of these rooms have a very strong image in my head and some are fuzzier - it's been a bit since I reread#And I also haven't read with the layout in mind I don't think so there's that as well haha#I'll also freely admit to being very influenced by The Sims 2's build limitations when working these lol - spacing and density of items#Trying to map all these pieces of scenes into a continuous singular building is difficult! There are windows that butt up into other rooms!#It's a fun exercise tho :3#Update: I have now reread with the layout in mind lol#My mental ears pricked every time there was a mention of furniture or layout lol#Like Max's couch! And a carpet in the foyer >:3c#And Dex's room also being upstairs :0 To think I almost made my first floorplan a single-story!#Silly me#I'm pretty sure this is the first time I've doodled Max's mom also :0 From memory - again - oops lol#I have always imagined that final scene with her as having this large-room/small in the frame kind of energy to it#All natural lighting and kind of dim and hazy - coming down from the high vibes#Actually pinning down a back wall is a whole other thing lol - sometimes the stairs are right there and sometimes they're in an alcove#It's always those tricky windows! And then actually populating a mansion with rooms that are useful lol#Dexter mentions that Max could've asked the cook but Max says he's asleep - how many people live on-site I wonder!#I'm also deeply enamoured with Max padding around in the middle of the night - a house he grew up in and feels safe wandering around in <3#In his element ♥ Comfortable ♪♫
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#really insane rant that will make me sound like a nitpicky bitch but aye maybe I am#I am the only person within the friends I have who has a comfortable house in an adult way…#clean and organized and without overbearing parents (lol we’re in our 30s+)#BUT I am a trek to get to.#BUT my friends don’t take any advantage of living in LA so who cares. trek out. we can try to find things to do#what I want is to eat out and then hang at home watching stuff and just fucking hang out#but I don’t want to invite people over as if I can provide a worthwhile time. and literally no one like the shit I like to watch#so I’d give up control and then what? be annoyed at the stupid shit I don’t fucking like?#there just really is no clear path to a good time for me. and I don’t think anyone else even thinks about these things#it’s just me and my lonely lil rural life and my streamers#if I go to LA my options are to stay at a small adhd riddled unorganized apt#or a house where you can’t be yourself because parents won’t leave you alone#like. I just genuinely feel like the thing I would enjoy most isn’t that complicated and yet I still can’t have it#and mostly that’s because I am not on the same wavelength of enjoyable content….everyone is dumb and lazy#and like I also want to be mad and commiserate about life and politics and all the bad shit I’m nervous about but people want positivity#I don’t want distraction I need to lean in to exercise some of this energy. I don’t have options for that!#I have exactly one friend I miss who moved out of state and now I’m like well this is what I’m stuck with. forever unfulfilled
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vent/rant SAD!!
kinda feel myself getting a bit depressed being back at my parents… I’m not sure if it’s because I feel really constricted again, or if I’m missing my wife, or I feel like I’m losing all this progress I made in my independence even though I’m only here for a while, or because I feel all these bad habits I’ve been able to get rid of sort of coming back? Also I have no job or reliable source of income right now and getting a job while I’m kinda on vacation seems silly but idk… I have like 300 dollars to my name rn and my edd is about to end and I go back to Canada in a month anyways so like!!! I either gotta do more commissions or try and advertise myself on upwork again or something 🥲🥲🥲
Like!! There’s more important things to worry about for sure, like my residency paperwork, and getting my hrt shit figured out! But ugh I feel at such a loss all of a sudden.. before I felt so on top of it even though I didn’t have a “regular” job.. but now I’m just reminded of all the reasons I left in the first place </3 idk! Idk! I think I need to go outside and run around or something maybe then I’ll feel better <3 I think I’ve changed in too many significant (and good!) ways and now I feel like I’m being forced back into an old shell I’ve outgrown ykno?
And even though my parents have been extremely kind and patient w me now that I’m back for a bit I can’t help but feel like I’m waiting for the other shoe to drop… like they’re gonna find a way to keep me trapped here again or something…
ALSO. My hair is getting long and I NEED to cut it!!! But too many important people in my life have said they like that it’s long and it’s upset me but also I care about what they think too much and ugh!! Dysphoria has felt extra bad!!! SAD!! I miss my kitty cats and I miss my beloved and I miss my bed and my new routine and I just wanna go home and and and
#vent#nuggyy txt#don’t get me wrong though it’s been such a joy to be w my siblings#and get back into reading#but the energy? the vibe? it’s all wrong for me rn :-( ugh#I need therapy!!! a haircut!!! and some exercise!!!#something!!!#anything!!!
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today, me and my sibling made death battle machines and pitted them against each other. the one with the ninjas piloting is called “wu’s team building exercise” and the one with the flaming tit on top is called “diarrhea johnson’s freedom-licious nutbuster 3000”.
diarrhea johnson’s machine can only go in one direction [circle] and wu’s teambuilding exercise can only go in every direction all at once. it has 11 wheels and 6 joints/swivels for maximum teamwork difficulty. kai is in charge of main steering from his post on top of the double-decker couch, and due to an error in lower-couch capacity calculations, the secondary steering mechanism had to be moved to the very front of the vehicle last-minute, but lloyd is braving it like a champ. cole is on back right steering and zane mirrors him with back left steering. wu’s job is to hold The Skull.
in the end, diarrhea johnson won with only a single illegal nuclear rocket booster knocked off from the impact, and wu’s team building exercise was broken into 4 pieces. among the detached was the expresso machine/main and only engine in the back that jay was put in charge of constant monitoring, as well as the emergency shut down explosion button [and only form of breaks] on the very back of the vehicle. lloyd was flung across the floor and hit the dishwasher head on. he is still in the ICU. however, when the illegal nuclear rocket booster was knocked off of mr johnson’s vehicle, it also set off a nuclear explosion and rendered everywhere within a 100 mile radius an instant-death zone. diarrhea johnson did not survive. however, we concluded that the ninja are probably fine, because they are only glowing green, and as everyone knows, lloyd’s power glows green, so nothing is out of the ordinary.
perhaps most impressive of all is that The Skull was not once knocked from wu’s hand. truly a legendary battle was had today, but i think the true hero here does not lie in the winner - but in each of us.
#ninjago#lloyd garmadon#zane julien#cole brookstone#jay walker#kai smith#wu garmadon#diarrhea johnson#wu’s teambuilding exercise#diarrhea johnson’s freedom-licious nutbuster 3000#lego#look. i had a really boring day at work and i had to get all my energy out somehow#we spent like 2 hours building and then destroying these abominations#i’ve only had some of these mini figures for like 24 hours and i’m already torturing them#emergency happy#ultimate favorite#sibling shenanigans#we helped each other build these with lots of parallel play and then made up everything as we went laughing our asses off the whole time#honestly i felt like a kid again. i haven’t played with legos in years. i love having stupid silly fun
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