#ocdawerness

[thinslxx]

Question plz interact if u can

OCD TW

So basically, I have severe OCD like really fucked to the point of not being able to tell what's real and what's not (cuz od intrusive thoughts and rituals). When I was younger I first started to get intrusive thoughts and obsessive behaviour as in "something will happen if u change Ur bracelet" and random ass thoughts that I would obsess over. That's how it started but the issue is my cleaning rituals that are currently very bad and time consuming. But i sometimes look back and think where in the fuck did I get this. And then I pin pointed one instance where I was in a household of my friend that had family issues and she had pets too. No one cared enough to actually clean the house properly which I didn't care about ofc. I came to hang out and escape MY OWN household lmao. But anyways back to the topic at hand. I was in bed at her house, really late cuz my friend had fallen asleep. I was reading manga more accurately "Ten count" it's about a guy with mysophobia (?). And while I was reading just enjoying my time, one moment i was fine and the next a brand new✨ intrusive thought popped up and that thought was the first time that an intrusive thought was about cleaning/the cleanliness of the space I was around. Idk if it was like a trigger of some kind but this happens a lot, an intrusive thoughts connects and appears to what I'm doing atm. Thats when cleaning rituals started, at first I started being obsessed with hand sanitizer and felt like wherever people touched that it was "contaminated". But with time that eased and when it did thats when the washing/cleaning rituals started, from counting how many times I washed my hands to special ways I did it to showering and a lot more shit. Also all my rituals were HEAVILY done in private cuz I didn't want anyone to know. And literally a few years later I randomly wanted to re read ten count for the good old times of BL. And I was just chilling reading and then immediately a thought popped up and when simplified it literally states this "Ur OCD developed because of this manga. You faked it untill u made it. Attention whore"

And I just stood there for a second like hol up what😃. I'm pretty fucking sure a whole ass mental illness can't develop from that. Plus I was experiencing symptoms of OCD as a CHILD so before I even knew about that. And at the time the cleaning rituals were starting to manifest I later realised that the reason why I tried to mimick/create some type od cleaning ritual is because of an intrusive thought as well. It was that I didn't feel valid to have OCD without the cleaning. So another chain reaction. I consulted my therapist about it and she stated that usually rituals are created from intrusive thoughts. so an intrusive thought almost always comes first. Annnddd reading this made me realise how stupid all this is lmao. But it really hurts the intrusive thought about why my OCD developed. It makes me feel guilty and stressed and like I did this to myself and that. I'm a waste of time because of it. That I don't deserve anything and that I don't deserve help. But at the same time I'm professionally diagnosed (not only that but diagnosed 3 times by 3 different therapists all same diagnosis), I was told by my therapist that my OCD developed to to the sexual trauma i experienced as a child and the way I was brought up plus I know damn well that I'm embarrassed and that these rituals bring me harm. God I can even grow up to have skin issues and bone issues later in life cuz of the extent my cleaning rituals go and yet I can't fucking stop, no matter how hard I try I almost always come back to the start point.

Anyways i would really like to hear other ppls thoughts that are familiar with OCD or have OCD.

Lmao just realised that what I'm doing rn, that is seeking reassurance online is also a compulsion. My therapist mentioned this chain reaction once due to a diff situation bullshit bro, wow I love this disorder 😃

[happyafricaorg]

Fact Friday 🥸 • We would’ve loved to share more interesting facts on OCD , but here is a few interesting ones 😊 • If you suspect that you have or might struggle with OCD please seek professional help so you can get diagnosed and start with a treatment plan 🤍 it’s the first step to regain control of your life. • OCD responds well to treatment, which means people who hide their illness are suffering needlessly!!! • • • #happyafricaorg #mentalhealth #ocdawerness #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthmatters #factfriday #weekend #bekind #keepbreathing #believeinyou #controlyourmind #ocdrecovery #stigmafree #copingskills #mentalhealthishealth #hereforyou #mentalhealthadvocate #youarenotalone #intrusivethoughts #ocdhelp #therapy #obsessivecompulsivedisorder #helpfultips (at Gauteng) https://www.instagram.com/p/CR9PDs-tvrw/?utm_medium=tumblr

[vickuchinart]

💕 v¡cкყ 💕 {ESP} Dibujé a mi self-insert para una dinámica de Facebook y quise probar un nuevo estilo de coloreado 💖 Me encantó el resultado, de ahora en adelante pienso seguir coloreando así aunque me demore días enteros XD {ENG} I drew my self-insert for a Facebook dynamic and wanted to try a new coloring style 💖 I loved the result, from now on I plan to continue coloring like this even if it takes me days XD #myart #ocart #oc #ocdawing #ocdggitalart #originalcharacter #originalart #originalcharacterdrawing #originalcharacterart #myartwork #art #artist #digitalart #digitaldrawing #medibangpaint #cellphonedrawing #fingerartist #aesthetic #femaleoc #artedigital #arte #dibujo #drawing #drawingoc #animedrawing https://www.instagram.com/p/CRzE16sJ49j/?utm_medium=tumblr

[happyafricaorg]

The OCD cycle. - The obsessive thoughts give rise to negative feelings like anxiety, disgust and fear. The negative emotions increase the urge to participate in ritualistic behaviors. The ritualistic behavior offers TEMPORARY relief from the negative feelings, this relief is not long lasting before the obsessive thought returns and starts the cycle all over again. - Don’t forget to double-tap this post! - Follow us @happyafricaorg for more interesting facts on mental health. - - - #happyafricaorg #mentalhealthmatters #mentalhealthadvocate #selfcompassion #recoveryjourney #yourenotalone #hereforyou #itsokaytonotbeokay #emotionalwellbeing #ocd #ocdawerness #mentalhealthishealth #mentalhealthawarness #overcominganxiety #mentalhealthmonday #bekindtoyourmind #mentalhealthcare #mindmatters #stigmafree