#oc: mitsuba miyu

[crystal-grace]

Wip preview of two of my SLBP ocs~

Miyu up top & Tsukiko down below :3c

[enbyprincex]

The Dragon’s Tears

Mitsuba Miyu, Hanzo’s MC and the second of my SLBP OCs.

[crystal-grace]

Grabbed this picrew and made some of my custom mcs for SLBP.

Left to right, top to bottom.

Tsukiko for Shingen, Miyu for Hanzo, Suzume for Nobunaga, Sachiko for Hotaru, Hibiki for Ieyasu and Tsubaki for Kenshin. :3c

[enbyprincex]

Part 1 is here!

CW: Angst, heavy trust issues etc etc. Miyu is not a happy camper when it comes to feelings.

Miyu, in a much more stable and not mentally kicking herself frame of mind? She would sit Masanari and Kaede down separately to explain all her brain muck. Well some of it anyway. Cause it’s not fair to either of them and she’s gotten all that crying and wailing out. Now it’s time to apologize and I guess, hash out that the breakdown is on her not them. Cause she knows, oh she knows and appreciates Kaede not wanting to let her go back with Masanari because he triggered this meltdown but it’s not his fault. 

Not fully and she’d chew herself out if anything happened to either of them. So she talks to Kaede first cause she can talk to Kaede frankly and easily cause they’re close, they’ve always been close. And it’s not an easy talk but it’s a necessary one that leaves Miyu free to go back addition with Masanari with the promise that if anything happens she’ll come find Kaede first. It’s a simple enough promise and she mills over it on her way back while trying to figure out how to talk to Masanari without crying again. 

She’s upset yes, with him not trusting her but it’s more and less than that too. And it’s a halting discussion prefaced with so many apologies before she finally manages to choke out the real reason she bolted to the Mitsuba. Masanari seeing through all the defenses she’s built up make her feel naked in ways that she doesn’t like and it’s a vulnerability that makes her want to scream when she doesn’t know if he trusts her or if she’s just there for entertainment only on the days her demons get real loud. Somewhere along the way she knows it’s more than that but how can she not cry anyway?

None of it’s fitting for a shinobi, she knows. She knows it’s emotional gunk but she can’t help the fact that her emotions are part of her in such visceral ways. And it’s done! It’s out! She can breathe again and wait for Masanari to process what she said and pray this isn’t what pushes him away from her. Because she knows some days she’s hard to deal with and messy and everything in between.

[enbyprincex]

CW: Angst, heavy trust issues etc etc. Miyu is not a happy camper when it comes to feelings.

This is Part 1 cause it’s A Lot.

Reflections following the last round of Shadow event stories:-

Being a runaway ninja from such a young age fucked up Miyu’s perception of being a trustworthy person AND someone deserving of love, affection etc. Cause friends turned on her the minute her family noped out. Flash forward again to friends actively hunting her and she’s uhh A Mess and not handling it well for all that she pretends to be. 

So Masanari not telling her things when she’s in the direct line of fire? Ding ding ding trust issues ahoy. But it’s fine. She knew what she signed up for with him so it’s fine. Until it’s not because she’s curled up and desperately trying not to scream because she’s failing at that shinobi detachment and she’s definitely failing at maintaining any relationships because hey. An order might come down eventually and she’ll have to pick up and run again. Assuming she gets wind of it in time.

So she just retreats, swallows down anything resembling ~feelings~ and when it gets too much she crawls back to her family for a few days because they trust her right? She can fall apart there and not worry about that being used against her. Then it’s back ‘home’ with a smile.

Hanzo and Kaede absolutely would have it out over Miyu staying and leaving when she’s in such a state because Oh Boy. The one thing she does not want under any circumstances. Her two favorite people fighting because of her. Whiiiich if she’s dug herself out the pit by the time it happens then she might be able to articulate why she felt more comfortable with Kaede vs Hanzo for breaking down and that that has nothing to do with Hanzo and everything to do with her gremlin brain. 

If she’s still n full shut down mode? She’s running. Or at least trying to because them fighting because of her when they have no reason to otherwise? Definite confirmation that she’s the issue. Ofc we all know Hanzo’s not letting her go that easily and Kaede’s not letting her hurt herself like that either SO. Miyu’s gotta deal with these feelings sometime.

[enbyprincex]

SLBP OCs and dealing with feelings time~ Aka I posted this to twitter so here it is in one place~ 

Long post with a healthy warning for angst and generally unhealthy thought patterns under the cut!

Miyu’s method for dealing with her feelings is to pretend she’s not having them until it boils over. Then she shuts down completely. Feelings can be used against you. Feelings are particularly useless to a shinobi. Even if she isn’t that good at most of it.

Aimi’s mouth goes a mile a minute when she’s trying to hide something that’s hurting her. If she’s overly chatty and cheerful, it can’t hurt...? It’s fine, it’s fine. She’s tearing up from yawning, from being tired from anything other than her heart hurting.

Tsukiko buries her feelings in work. Sewing when she’s angry, cooking when she’s on the verge of tears. Anything to keep moving so she doesn’t become a burden. She’s cracked before in front of Shingen, yes. But those are cracks that she patches up quickly with an attempted smile.

Hiroko’s the most vocal, sobbing her heart out or bouncing off the walls with joy. If she’s quiet? She’s processing. Processing and trying to see if maybe she’s swinging too far in either direction and if such an outburst is bothering the folks in Oshu.

Suzume’s a bonfire at the best of times, if she’s upset someone’s going to hear about it. At least until it’s insecurities and nagging thoughts of not being good enough. That’s when she goes quiet, retreats for a few hours to regroup or winds up in Oda’s bed rather than talking.

An aside for this but, Mitsuhide as thirsty as he is, is very much indirectly responsible for the times Suzume does falter. She can handle outsiders scoffing at her for having the audacity to marry a samurai and a lord at that but for someone she considered a friend to throw those same barbs? That’s when she starts wondering if she wouldn’t have been better served remaining as a maid, returning to the capital basically anywhere BUT Owari and Nobunaga’s bed. The outsiders don’t know her, but Mitsuhide’s a friend. Right?

Kiyoko absolutely 100% cries while her temper runs wild. If she’s hurt then the world’s gonna know. If she’s upset? Whoever’s guilty is going to know about it even if she’s a sobbing mess while she’s doing it. Angry? Cry. Sad? Cry harder. Happy? More tears.

Hikari loves silence with her feelings, a cold shoulder for whoever’s annoyed her, mild mind games until they figure out what they did and HOW. Sarcasm is her friend and shield, more than the tears that come if people press hard enough. She’s hurting, and that makes her spiteful.

Hibiki’s feelings are kept at arm’s length in a locked box under everything in her closet. They’re something OUTSIDE of herself. Outside of everything and nothing she deserves to sort out. She’s a manipulative mess, she gets people hurt when she fools them into loving her or so she thinks. Then again it must be true. Look at her family, her friends, they get hurt because they care and it’s clearly because she believes she’s manipulating them into caring.