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strawberrygirll13 · 3 months ago

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I care about you

Dazai x Reader

Pt 1

Warnings: Depression, self harm, mentions of suicide attempts, mental illness.

The restaurant was quiet, save for the occasional clinking of plates and murmurs of other diners. Candlelight flickered softly, casting a warm glow over the table. Across from you, Dazai sat back in his chair, his arm lazily draped over the backrest, a mischievous grin tugging at the corners of his mouth.

“You know,” he started, swirling the wine in his glass, “if this steak were my last meal, I think I’d die happy.”

You set your fork down, a sense of unease already creeping in. “Dazai…”

He didn’t seem to notice the warning in your voice, his eyes gleaming with something darker. “But,” he continued, his voice calm, “if I were to go, I’d want it to be something more dramatic. Something… poetic. Maybe a leap into a river. Or from a high-rise at sunset. You know, something that would leave an impression.”

You couldn’t keep the tension from building in your chest. “Dazai, I really don’t like it when you talk like that.”

He paused for a moment, the grin still playing on his lips. “Oh? Why not?” he said, tilting his head, seemingly unfazed. “It’s the truth. I’ve tried a few things, you know.”

Your fingers tightened around your napkin, and you felt a cold chill run through you. “What do you mean ‘tried a few things’?”

Dazai leaned forward, his gaze sharp as he looked directly at you. “Well, let me think... I’ve tried hanging myself, drowning myself—Yokohama Harbor, to be exact. It was freezing, but strangely peaceful. I really thought it would work that time. But no, a fisherman pulled me out before I could go under for good.” He chuckled softly, but it didn’t reach his eyes. “Pathetic, huh?”

You felt your heart drop, but he kept going, unperturbed. “I also tried jumping in front of a train once. The timing was all wrong, though. I only got clipped, nothing serious. And then there was the time I tried poisoning myself, but the drink was too weak. Didn’t do the job. But you know, the one that came closest? Cutting my wrists. I really thought that one would do it. I got pretty close, but again, I ended up surviving.”

Each attempt, each method, he listed it so casually, as if they were simple anecdotes, nothing more than stories to amuse himself. The weight of his words pressed down on you, suffocating, until you couldn’t breathe. You felt a mix of disgust and helplessness, your stomach twisting in knots. This wasn’t just dark humor; this was the product of something deeper, something broken. And it was eating at him.

“Dazai,” you managed to choke out, your voice barely above a whisper. “Please, stop. I don’t want to hear this. This isn’t funny.”

He raised an eyebrow, as if surprised by your reaction. “Why not?” he asked, genuinely curious. “It’s just a little dark humor. Surely you, of all people, aren’t disturbed by some harmless stories?”

“Harmless?” You stood up abruptly, unable to sit through it any longer. “It’s cruel. It’s wrong. I don’t know why you think this is okay, but it’s not. I care about you, Dazai, and hearing you talk like this…” You took a deep breath, trying to steady your nerves. “It makes me feel awful. Can you not see that?”

He looked at you for a long moment, his smile never wavering, though his eyes were colder than usual. “Cruel?” he repeated, amusement still in his tone. “You’re being dramatic. It’s not as though anyone would care if I actually died, anyway. Hell, the world would probably be better off without me. It’s not like I have anyone who would mourn me.”

You shook your head, a knot forming in your throat. This wasn’t just about his words anymore; it was about the way he saw himself. The way he thought of his life as something so expendable.

"And you know," he added, almost as an afterthought, "I’ve been thinking about finding a beautiful woman to share my final moments with. Someone who wouldn’t mind a little poetic death. I’ve been looking for someone who’d be willing to… you know, commit double suicide with me. My dear friend, you’d do perfectly." His grin was wider now, predatory, and it made your skin crawl.

You stared at him, unable to process how casually he could say something so horrifying. “Why would you say that to me? Why would you ask me something like that?”

He laughed, but it was an empty, hollow sound. “Why? Because you’re one of the few people I actually respect. I thought you’d find the idea appealing. You’re beautiful, aren’t you? You would make a perfect match for me in the end.”

Your hands shook at your sides, but you didn’t back down. “No, Dazai. No. I don’t find any of this funny. You’ve made me so uncomfortable tonight, and you did it on purpose, didn’t you? You wanted to make me feel bad. Well, congratulations, you’ve succeeded.”

He blinked at you, for the first time showing a crack in his indifference, his smirk faltering for a split second as he processed your words. But before he could respond, you turned and grabbed your coat, slipping it over your shoulders.

“I’m leaving,” you said, your voice firm but quiet.

Dazai didn’t say anything. He just watched as you moved toward the door, his gaze unreadable. The air between you had shifted, and you couldn’t quite understand it, but you knew one thing for certain: You couldn’t sit there and let him pull you into his darkness.

With one last glance at him, you stepped out into the cold night air, the weight of the conversation lingering with you, but you didn’t turn back.

The days following that tense dinner were markedly different. You kept your interactions with Dazai strictly professional, your usual casual conversations replaced with curt, pointed words. Whenever a task required communication, you went through others—Kunikida, Atsushi, anyone else who could serve as a buffer between you and him. Dazai, however, wasn’t one to let things go unnoticed, especially when they disrupted his carefully cultivated routines.

You knew he’d noticed the shift—he wasn’t an idiot. But instead of apologizing or addressing it directly, he chose his usual route: mischief.

It started small. A sly remark here, an exaggerated sigh there. When you ignored those, he ramped it up. During one meeting, he’d kept dropping pens onto your side of the table, leaning over to retrieve them with the kind of smug grin that made you want to throttle him. When you didn’t react, his antics escalated.

The breaking point came one quiet afternoon when you returned to your desk only to find his desk… wasn’t where it was supposed to be.

He’d moved it.

Right in front of yours, so close the two desks were now touching, effectively making it one long, cluttered mess of books, papers, and his personal junk. Your side was spotless, as always, but his was overflowing—documents spilling over onto your workspace, a half-eaten bag of snacks perched precariously on the edge, and his coat draped lazily over your chair.

You stood there for a moment, staring at the absurdity before you, willing yourself to stay calm.

“Do you mind?” you finally asked, your voice cold as you folded your arms.

Dazai, leaning back in his chair with a lopsided grin, didn’t miss a beat. “Not at all. Cozy, isn’t it?”

“It’s not cozy,” you snapped, narrowing your eyes. “It’s invasive. Move your desk back.”

“But I like it here,” he replied, spinning his pen between his fingers. “Better lighting. Better company. Well... not bettercompany, but you’re here, so it’ll do.”

You clenched your jaw, refusing to rise to the bait. Instead, you sat down, pushed his papers to the far edge of your desk, and went back to your work.

This didn’t deter him in the slightest. Over the next hour, he kept finding ways to encroach on your space—tossing paperclips onto your side, humming loudly, even nudging your coffee mug with his own until it was teetering dangerously close to the edge.

Finally, when it seemed like he might actually topple it over, you shot him a glare. “If you spill that, I swear—”

“You’ll what?” he interrupted, leaning in closer. “Yell at me? Ignore me some more? I think you’ve got the ignoring part down pretty well already.”

You didn’t respond, turning back to your work with tight-lipped determination.

His frustration, though, was becoming harder for him to hide. You could see it in the way he kept drumming his fingers on the desk, in the exaggerated way he sighed every five minutes, in the way his usual lazy demeanor seemed a little too deliberate, like he was trying too hard to act like this wasn’t bothering him.

And then, he started writing notes.

At first, he didn’t even try to be subtle about it. He scribbled something down on a piece of paper, folded it neatly, and slid it onto your side of the desk.

You ignored it.

A second note followed, then a third. You didn’t open any of them, and the more you ignored them, the more frustrated he seemed to become.

By the fourth note, he didn’t even bother folding it anymore. Instead, he scrawled the words in large, dramatic letters across a sheet of paper and held it up directly in your line of sight.

“ARE YOU STILL MAD?”

You didn’t look at him, but he kept the note there until you finally sighed and muttered, “Yes.”

He blinked, clearly not expecting an actual answer. Then, with a grin, he grabbed another sheet of paper and scribbled again. This time, he slid it across the desk to you.

“WHY?”

You stared at the note for a moment before crumpling it up and tossing it back at him. “You know why,” you said, your voice quiet but firm.

For once, he didn’t have a quick retort. Instead, he leaned back in his chair, his grin faltering ever so slightly as he watched you go back to your work.

But, true to form, he didn’t stay quiet for long. Moments later, another note landed on your desk.

“CAN I MAKE IT UP TO YOU?”

You didn’t respond. You didn’t trust yourself to, not yet. And so, the silence between you stretched on, heavy and unresolved, while Dazai sat across from you, bored, frustrated, and—if the look in his eyes was any indication—just a little bit lost.

The silence between you two stretched unbearably as Dazai fidgeted with his pen, occasionally glancing at you, though you didn’t spare him a single look. Despite his antics, you were determined to hold your ground. He deserved to stew in this. To feel the weight of your anger and hurt.

Yet, as the minutes ticked by and the tension grew thicker, you found yourself caving. Not entirely, but enough for curiosity to override your stubbornness. With a sigh, you picked up your pen and scribbled something on a piece of paper, sliding it over to him without looking up.

“Did you mean it?”

Dazai, for once, didn’t respond immediately. You heard the faint rustle of the note as he picked it up, followed by a pause. Then, slowly, he scrawled something down and pushed it back toward you.

“Mean what?”

You stared at the words for a moment before writing again.

“That you want me to die with you?”

When you slid the note back, you refused to meet his gaze, your fingers gripping your pen tightly as you waited for his response. The air between you felt suffocating, heavy with the unspoken weight of the question.

It took him longer this time. You heard the soft scratching of his pen as he wrote, then paused, then wrote again. Finally, the note landed back in front of you.

“Yes.”

Your breath hitched as you stared at the single word, simple and honest in a way Dazai rarely allowed himself to be. When you finally looked up at him, his expression was unreadable, his usual playful grin replaced by something quieter, something that almost looked like vulnerability.

“I wasn’t joking,” he said softly, breaking the silence. “Not entirely, at least.”

Your throat felt dry, and you weren’t sure what to say. For all the times Dazai hid behind humor, behind his endless games and tricks, hearing him admit something so dark, so raw, left you momentarily at a loss.

“Why?” you finally asked, your voice barely above a whisper.

He shrugged, though the motion felt forced, his usual air of nonchalance cracking at the edges. “Because if I had to go, at least with you… it wouldn’t feel so empty. It’d be poetic, don’t you think? Two kindred spirits, disappearing together.”

“That’s not poetic, Dazai,” you said firmly, anger creeping into your voice. “It’s selfish. It’s—” You stopped yourself, exhaling sharply. “It’s cruel that you would suggest that.”

His lips quirked up in a half-smile, but there was no humor behind it. “I told you, I’m a selfish man. You should know that by now.”

Your eyes narrowed, but you didn’t reply. Instead, you leaned back in your chair, the note still clutched tightly in your hand, as the weight of his words settled over you.

“I’m sorry to disappoint you, Dazai,” you began, folding the note neatly and placing it in front of him, “but unfortunately, I do not want to die. And I’d prefer it if you could refrain from doing so either.”

You stood up, your chair scraping against the floor as you grabbed your bag. “I need to use the restroom. I’ll be back in a minute.”

But before you could take a step, his hand shot out, quick and instinctive, his bandaged wrist wrapping firmly around yours. It wasn’t harsh or forceful, but it was enough to stop you in your tracks.

“What the hell?” you blurted, glancing down at his hand, then back at him.

For the first time since the conversation began, he looked genuinely caught off guard. His grip on your wrist wasn’t calculated; it was almost desperate, as though the very thought of you leaving—even temporarily—was unbearable.

“I… You’re not going anywhere,” he said, his tone lighter than his expression betrayed. But the crack in his voice, subtle as it was, didn’t escape you.

Your brow furrowed. “Dazai, I work here. I’m just going to the bathroom. I’m not running off into the sunset. Good god, you have issues.”

His lips curved into a faint smirk, but it lacked his usual humor. “Issues? That’s putting it lightly, don’t you think?” He released your wrist, his hand lingering in the air for a moment before he let it drop back to his side. “I guess I just don’t like the idea of you walking away from me… even if it’s just to the restroom.”

“Dazai,” you sighed, softening your tone despite yourself, “I’m not leaving you. I’ll be back in two minutes.”

His eyes flicked up to meet yours, a flicker of something vulnerable passing through them before his usual mask slipped back into place. “Promise?” he asked, leaning back in his chair with a grin that didn’t quite reach his eyes.

You gave him a flat look. “I’m not promising anything. It’s a bathroom break, not a grand betrayal.”

But as you walked away, you couldn’t shake the weight of his touch—or the way his voice had faltered, even for just a second. Something about it lingered, clawing at the edges of your mind like an unanswered question you weren’t sure you were ready to ask.

A few hours later ~

The office was quiet now, save for the faint ticking of the clock on the wall and the rustling of papers as you gathered your things. The sun had long since dipped below the horizon, leaving the room bathed in the soft glow of a single desk lamp. You glanced over at him. His desk—still obnoxiously pressed against yours—was cluttered with papers he hadn’t touched all day. He’d sat there for hours, throwing the occasional quip your way, but you hadn’t said much in return.

It wasn’t just the silence that made the air feel heavy; it was the weight of his words from earlier. He wanted you to die with him. The thought lingered, intrusive and stubborn, no matter how much you tried to shove it aside. You couldn’t understand how he’d asked you something so selfishly, so casually, as if it were just another joke in his endless repertoire.

Shaking your head, you slid your bag over your shoulder and moved toward the door. You didn’t bother to say goodbye.

“Wait,” his voice called out, stopping you mid-step. You turned to find him standing now, hands stuffed into his pockets as he leaned against the edge of the desk.

“What is it, Dazai?” you asked, your voice tinged with exhaustion.

“Let me walk you home,” he said, straightening up and taking a step closer.

You blinked at him, the question catching you off guard. “Are you going to say some weird shit?”

His mouth quirked into a half-smile, though it lacked the usual cockiness. “You know, probably. I mean, it’s me.” He paused, rubbing the back of his neck as if he were suddenly unsure of himself. “But… I won’t ask you to, you know, do that with me again. Scout’s honor.” He held up two fingers in mock sincerity.

You narrowed your eyes, considering him for a moment. “Fine,” you said finally, letting out a small sigh. “But only if you promise.”

“Promise,” he repeated, a flicker of amusement returning to his voice.

As you pushed open the door and stepped into the cool night air, he fell into step beside you. Something about the way he kept just a half step behind, letting you set the pace, felt quieter than usual—almost careful. It wasn’t like him. Then again, nothing about today had been.

The street was quiet as you and Dazai walked down the path, the only sounds being the soft crunch of your footsteps against the pavement and the occasional rustling of leaves in the trees. The streetlamps above flickered on, casting a dim, golden light that illuminated the sidewalk in a soft, almost melancholic glow. The night air was cool, a refreshing change from the stuffy office, and you relished the brief quiet that came with the walk.

You didn't mind walking. You’d never been one to rely on a car, especially when the journey gave you a little peace of mind. Besides, the apartment was only about a 20-minute walk away, and you had plenty of time to clear your head. Or at least, that’s what you told yourself.

As you walked in silence, your thoughts wandered. You couldn’t shake the feeling that something had shifted between you and Dazai today. His words from earlier still echoed in your mind, but it wasn’t just that. Something about his behavior had felt off—a bit too distant, a bit too… real.

It was strange, but despite everything, you couldn't deny you had feelings for him. Not that you really had a choice, considering how often you saw each other. But you were realistic about it. The idea of him ever feeling the same was almost laughable. He was too much of a mess, too much of a broken puzzle for you to figure out. And even if he did have feelings for you, you weren’t sure it was something you could trust.

The walk continued in silence, and you pulled your coat tighter around you, keeping your thoughts to yourself. But then, without warning, Dazai held out his arm for you.

At first, you were confused. You didn't know what he meant by the gesture. But when he huffed, his voice edged with a hint of impatience, “Come on, I’m not going to bite you,” you could feel a wave of hesitation wash over you.

Before you could respond, he looped his arm through yours, locking it there with a firm but gentle grip. It surprised you, but it wasn’t unwelcome. For a moment, you just walked, trying to process what had just happened.

As you did, your gaze slipped over to him. The soft glow of the streetlights caught his brown hair, highlighting the faint tousled mess of it. You’d always admired the way it looked, even when he didn’t seem to care much about it. You wondered, though, how much of his body was covered in bandages. His neck and wrist were always covered, but what about the rest of him? Did he hide it under those clothes, or was there more to it?

The thought made a knot form in your stomach, and you quickly shoved it away. You hated the idea of him harming himself. The thought made your chest tighten, and you didn’t want to think about it—not now, not here, not with him.

“What are you thinking about, Y/N?” Dazai’s voice broke the silence, his tone casual, though there was an edge to it.

You looked up at him, startled, but there was a strange softness in his expression that made you pause.

“Nothing,” you muttered, not wanting to admit to the tangled thoughts swirling in your head. “Just... you know, thinking about work.”

He raised an eyebrow, unconvinced. "Really?" he teased, but there was something more guarded in his eyes now. "Because you seem distracted."

You went quiet, your eyes shifting away from his, not wanting to meet his gaze anymore. The cool night air suddenly felt too heavy as the silence between you both stretched on.

Dazai noticed immediately, his pace slowing as he watched the subtle tension build. He didn’t push it at first, but after a few moments, he muttered, almost absentmindedly, “I hate how you don’t let me into your head.” His voice had a quiet frustration in it, like a gnawing irritation that wouldn't let go.

You stiffened, the words from earlier still replaying in your mind. You knew he wasn’t going to drop it, not without pushing the issue. You didn’t want to discuss it, but you couldn’t stay silent either. "Well, it’s kinda difficult to let someone in who has basically said in their own way they want me dead." You kept your voice steady, trying not to let the vulnerability slip through.

The words hung in the air, and Dazai didn’t immediately respond. His arm, still locked with yours, shifted slightly as if he were considering his words carefully.

Then, he spoke. "Y/N, my darling, you and I have two very different perspectives on death." He paused, allowing the weight of his words to settle between you. "To explain it in the simplest terms, despite how morbid it may seem to you... it is a compliment."

His tone was strange, detached, but also oddly earnest. It was as if he truly believed that what he was saying made sense. And for a moment, you wondered if he even understood how much his words stung.

You didn’t know what to say, so you stayed quiet, your steps slowing to match his. The city seemed farther away now, the night air colder.

"It doesn’t matter how you intended it, Dazai," you said, your voice firm but not unkind. "You are not well. The way you think… it’s all twisted."

Dazai let out a laugh, sharp and self-deprecating. "Oh, I’m very aware," he said with a smirk, though his eyes betrayed something softer, something less cavalier.

The rest of the walk passed in silence. He didn’t let go of your arm, keeping it interlocked with his, as though he feared letting go would shatter whatever fragile thing existed between you both. The city lights grew sparse as you reached your apartment building, and he walked you right up to your doorstep. Even then, his arm stayed linked with yours, his grip firm but not forceful, as if he wasn’t ready to let you go.

Dazai finally stopped, taking a deep breath. His hesitation was unusual, almost unsettling. "Can I ask you something?" he said, his voice softer than usual.

You sighed, fishing your keys out of your pocket. "I’m not going to say no, am I?"

He smiled faintly, though it didn’t reach his eyes. "When you say you care about me… do you mean it?"

You froze, caught off guard by the question. He wasn’t playing this time. There was no sly grin, no teasing inflection. His eyes, brown and deep as they were, searched yours with an almost childlike vulnerability.

"For someone as smart as you are, you’re being quite moronic right now," you said, your voice gentler than your words. His expression shifted slightly—confused, maybe even a little hurt. You softened, letting out a breath. "Of course I care about you, Dazai. I care about you a lot."

He blinked, processing your words, before making a quiet "Oh-ohh" sound, like he wasn’t quite sure what to do with the information. It was such a Dazai thing to do that it made you smile despite yourself.

Sliding your key into the lock, you turned it and pushed the door open. But before stepping inside, you hesitated. Something tugged at you, a feeling you couldn’t quite ignore.

"Oh, hell, screw it," you muttered under your breath before turning back around. Gently, you reached up and cupped his face, your fingers brushing against the bandages on his cheek. His eyes widened slightly as you leaned in, close enough to see the flecks of gold in his irises, and placed a soft, lingering kiss on his lips.

When you pulled back, his expression was one of pure shock. His mouth opened slightly, but no sound came out. You gave him a small smile, your hands still resting against his cheeks.

"Why don’t you think on that, Osamu Dazai," you said, your tone light but meaningful. Then, pulling away, you stepped inside and closed the door behind you with a quiet click.

For a long moment, Dazai stood there on your doorstep, the night air brushing against his face, his lips still tingling from the kiss. Then, slowly, a small, genuine smile curved across his face—one that no one else would have recognized.

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ashleyh713fanfics · 1 month ago

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Dazai X Odasaku's Little Sister Ch21 and Ch22

Double Upload:

Chapter 21: "Desperate Times Call For Desperate Measures"

Summary: Mori starts to realize a change in Dazai, although it is not the change he wants so he decides to take matters into his own hands. Meanwhile, Chuuya (unfortunately) gets another run in with the mackerel's girlfriend, expect this time she may be more useful than he first believed.

Chapter 22: "Tonight You're An Honorary Flag"

Summary: Chuuya has to swallow his pride and do the one thing he never wanted to do, ask Dazai's crazy ass girlfriend for help on a mission to ensure that he can finally find out if he's human or not. The question is, will she accept, especially when it goes against everything her brother wanted for her?

Warnings: pm!sixteen year old chuuya, manipulation, small bit of stabbing, talks of Odasaku's death, grumpy angry chuuya for real here, chuuya is suffering and we all love it (poor boy)

(This is chapter twenty one and twenty-two of my fanfic "Timeless" which is now on A03. I'll link the master list below so you can get the full story. Asagao's ability is to stop time for up to six seconds.)

Master List Here- To Start from Ch1 <3

A03 Here

Work Count: 15k

Chapter 21:

"Desperate Times Call For Desperate Measures"

Dazai was no longer the same after that kiss.

In fact, it would be easy to say that the event that had shaken his entire world completely in both the worst and best possible ways imaginable.

Because right now, the boy was an absolute mess, in all the seemingly possible routes that could be conjured up. He couldn’t think about anything else, couldn’t process anything else except that small suspended moment in time from a couple nights ago.

He was supposed to be in charge, he was always supposed to control the situations he had walked into but right now Dazai felt anything but that. Hell, the moment he touched her lips any sense of dignity or self respect flew right out the window, making him submit to her without a second thought. Like a loser, like a little bottom bitch.

He hated it, he hated himself for silently begging for more inside his head.

For wanting her to continue, to push his head directly down into the drowning ocean so he could die between those lips forever. Ugh, just thinking about it was making his head spin and his hands twitch against his will.

What was wrong with him? What was he even thinking? He was the demon prodigy, the one everyone feared, the one that was supposed to be on top at all times but somehow he had sunken so far below that it was hard to even breathe anymore without thinking about her.

He told her that the kiss was the same, that it was just like the other million he had before but that it was an absolute flat out lie, a defense mechanism. Because this feeling, this utter destruction in his mind was absolutely not the same.

In fact, it was so far from what usually occurred. He had never gotten so attached before, so utterly consumed by a mere kiss. It was like his mind was registering it as his first, even though that was hardly the case.

Hell, even his first kiss wasn’t like this. He could even hardly remember it to be honest. Perhaps it had something to do with a job or a seduction of some kind? Dazai hardly had the capacity to remember anything about it, the event so insignificant in his mind.

But this? He still remembered every single second, every pathetic feeling in his mind, every recollection of her touch like it had happened only seconds ago. It was torture, the boy reliving the experience over and over on repeat, unable to turn it off.

Reaching up in order to pull on the messy brown strands of hair, Dazai felt his lips give a frustrated groan as he tried to anchor himself to reality.

He was losing it, finally losing it, going insane. He could feel the walls, the defenses of the demon slip away ever so quickly, leaving only a frazzled and flustered sixteen year old boy in its place.

And he hated it, he hated how weak she made him feel, how utterly stripped away and vulnerable she managed to make him.

He had tried for years to cover himself so deep that no one could ever see the pathetic unsure little boy beneath it all but somehow Asagao always managed to get through the layers, to reveal and uncover the things he so desperately wanted to keep buried for his own safety.

Feelings of uncertainty, of nervousness, of fear, they all had to be locked away, the demon prodigy didn’t need them, the port mafia executive didn’t need them. They weren’t necessary for survival in the underworld.

In fact if it was the opposite, if anyone saw them then they could be turned into weapons, weaknesses that could cause the destruction of himself and that protected kid under all the armor he had built for himself.

He knew that, because that was the first thing Dazai ever exploited when he was on the other side of that knife. It’s only logical that they would do the same. The world was cruel after all, wicked in every single way. Any amount of light was made to be crushed by enemy hands.

Mafioso couldn’t have weaknesses, so why was Asagao becoming his?

And he feared what would happen if he kissed her a second time. Would he just fall apart all over again, would he once again beg and crumble at her feet for another sweet piece of heaven? It was making himself sick just thinking about it.

No, that could not happen again, no matter how much his entire mind and body wanted it. That’s not who he was, he wasn’t a pathetic lovesick fool.

It had to be the alcohol in his system that made him feel so off. Yes, that’s what it was, why he had acted so out of character. Hell, he bet if he kissed her again things would go back to how they used to be.

Just like with all of those other women, he could prove that she wasn’t so special. He’d be able to switch off this horrible part of his mind and switch back to the playboy routine he had perfected time and time again.

No one could make the demon prodigy crumble, especially not Odasaku’s little sister.

And though his confidence flickered back to life for a millisecond, anxiety soon filled the space, leaving him uncertain once more.

That’s what should happen, but what if it didn’t? What if kissing her again didn’t make a goddamn difference?

What if he truly was just that weak to her? Then he didn’t know what he’d do.

Pulling on his hair once more, Dazai’s face began to redden at the idea before throwing his head straight into the table in front him, groaning into the wood with a pathetic whine of his own runaway thoughts.

Yet that’s when he heard a voice to his left, snapping him from his own chaotic thoughts. “Dazai, is there something you’d like to share?”

Mori’s presence suddenly became extremely prominent, causing the boy to snap his head up from the table only to remember where he was. Oh yeah, he was in a meeting with Mori and a bunch of other mafia guys. He was too zoned out to notice.

So much so, that everyone in the room was now staring at the boy, all of them around too scared to point out the strange and out of character behavior of the supposed “demon prodigy” as they remained silent.

And to be completely honest, Dazai didn’t know what the hell this meeting was about, his mind far too focused on thoughts of Asagao to even pick out one thing since he sat down.

So, he did what he always did. He lied. “Yes, can you hurry it up? Everything’s just so boring I kinda tuned you out. Besides, I got a new suicide method I wanna try after this and you’re taking forever..”

Everyone around him began to stiffen, surprised and fearful for how plainly he was speaking to the boss. It took a lot of balls for sure, they certainly couldn’t do it.

Mori seemed to have expected it though, his dark eyes moving to the boy for a second before a smile curved into his lips. “Right, sorry Dazai. I suppose this discussion has dragged on quite a bit. Meeting adjourned for now.”

All the other mafia members immediately stood from their seats at that, wanting to leave the room as fast as possible only for Mori to call back to the boy casually.” Dazai, I would like for you to stay a little longer.

Dazai frowned at that, watching everyone else leave at lightning speed before the two were alone in the large office room, the boy still in his seat as Mori stood to tower over him in a show of power. “There seems to be something occupying your mind lately. Would you like to share what it is?”

And there was no way he was going to tell Mori about the inner turmoil inside his mind. No way in hell, especially when it involved someone that the boss wasn’t ever supposed to know existed. “Occupying my mind? Yeah right, the only things ever on my mind are how to piss off Chuuya the most and figuring out exciting new ways of committing suicide!”

Mori only hummed though, moving around to place his hand on the top of Dazai’s chair and the other on the desk in front of the boy, boxing him in. “Hmm is that so? Are you sure that’s all? There isn’t another distraction mulling around in that brain of yours?”

Narrowing his eyes, the mafia boss gauged Dazai’s response, waiting to see the subtleties in the boy’s expressions and the fractured changes that only came with years of closely guarded interactions and conversations.

It was no secret that there had been a shift in his favorite executives' behavior recently, although it wasn’t a change that Mori was necessarily fond of.

You see, Dazai was a strange boy, one that had always been in a realm of his own but he never strayed too far from the path that was designed for him. He was known and expected to be cruel, lethal, boarding inhuman, the perfect fit for the dark world of the mafia.

But lately, a minuscule mutation had occurred and Mori could see the beginnings of a crack, of a fracture in the usual exterior that was supposed to be Dazai Osamu.

No, the demon prodigy, the ruthless and emotionless weapon that he had created and slowly crafted had been slowly whittling away by the day into something softer, weaker and undesirable for the purpose that Mori had been slowly cultivating unseen from the surface.

And the boss had expected a change to occur in the boy after Oda Sakunosuke’s death. He had predicted that much. Mori had expected Dazai to ultimately break, to shatter under the weight of his own grief of his fallen friend, to become a lost soul that Mori could pick up and nurture back into a self made dependance by his own design.

He had been ready for it, arms opened wide for the vulnerable bandaged boy to fall into.

But that hadn’t happened at all.

In fact, a different outcome happened instead, one that Mori hadn’t expected.

Because Dazai hadn’t shattered, he wasn’t destroyed like intended, something else had occurred instead. But why? What had he not accounted for? What had latched onto the boy before he could? Some sort of leach that was for sure, some sort of other vice for Dazai’s dependence. But what?

Mori didn't know yet, but he was determined to find out. To find the source of his current projects wavering miscalculation.

Mori was almost never wrong, and the fact that he was in this situation was very frustrating to him. He needed to fix it immediately, to get his little demon prodigy back on track for his plan to come back to fruition.

And it would, it would come into fruition, simply because that’s what Mori wanted.

And Mori always got what he wanted.

Noticing the changes in his expression, Mori then rephrased his inquiry, sensing that Dazai didn’t want to reveal his reason for his out of character act. That was fine, he could improvise. “Because if you did have a nasty distraction occupying the back of your mind, I could help remedy that.”

Dazai’s head snapped up at that, disbelief on his face. What, could that be true? Could Mori help with his Asagao malfunction? Could he help him get his head back on straight and get rid of those lingering feelings of dangerous weakness? It almost sounded too good to be true, he was skeptical of it.

But that did sound appealing, he needed to do something to rid himself of this awful weakness that was cultivating inside him before it consumed him entirely. Otherwise it would be dangerous to himself, and to Odasaku’s little sister both.

And Dazai tried to disguise his hope for the topic, desperate for anything to pull him back together again and not think about that kiss. “And how could you do that?”

Mori smiled then, the corners of his grin not reaching the end of his lips as he pulled back to stand next to Dazai, relishing in the hooks that he had successfully reattached to the boy. “It’s quite simple really. You just need to remember who you are again, a mental reset if you will, and I know just the thing to reignite that.”

The boy waited for him to continue and Mori gladly did so. “I have a job that I need done. Something that requires a special set of skills, something I believe you’d fit quite well, Dazai.”

Dazai only frowned though. That’s what he had, a mission? How boring. It sounded like Mori was just trying to get him to do his dirty work again. Annoying. “That’s it? Just a job?”

Shaking his head, the boss hummed. “Oh no, not just a job. A special job. One that would require you out of the country and away from that little distraction that has been bothering you so much. You’d be fully immersed in every aspect, with no time for anything but the demon prodigy. Sounds enticing, yes?”

And yeah, it did sound enticing. To Dazai, it sounded like exactly what he needed. A mission that fully immersed him, that separated him from any other thought in his mind? To relish in the blood and the gore, in the familiar safety net of darkness he’d always known instead of these scary and uncertain feelings that he couldn’t understand?

It was perfect.

He could go on this job, run away from the things that made him uncomfortable, get his head on straight and then return to Asagao when everything was back to normal.

Yet just the sound of her name in his mind made his hands start to twitch with that familiar ugly feeling of withdrawal.

Leaving meant having to forgo their nightly meetings and chats, it meant not hearing her sweet laugh or eating her homemade dinners for a while. It meant pushing himself back to loneliness and isolation instead of feeling protected and safe.

Safe in her arms, safe in her care. He had to distance himself from all of that.

And god, just thinking about leaving her, even for a couple days really showed how badly Dazai relied on her to give him any sense of stability in his life. He needed her, he needed her so damn bad, he couldn’t stand it. Asagao had become a piece of him that could no longer be removed from his twisted jagged puzzle.

But that was the problem, wasn’t it? His dependence on her light, his desperation to be near her, that’s what was ruining everything. Because it wasn’t just about mere friendship or a business transaction based on Odasaku anymore.

Now Dazai wanted more, his selfish greedy soul wanted all of her.

Not just to talk and laugh but to kiss and hold, to embrace and worship. He wanted her body, mind and soul, her everything, and that was something that Dazai could not allow. Not to Odasaku’s precious little sister, not to the last remaining piece of his best friend that still lingered in this world.

The feelings he harbored, the lines he was crossing would destroy them both if he didn’t fix them right now. He needed to fix it, for his sake and for hers before those lines disappeared and they condemned themselves to hell forever.

It was going to be hard, so incredibly hard but he could do it, Dazai could leave for both their sakes. Not permanently, that wasn’t an option anymore, but he could distance himself enough to get back on track, to dissipate the feelings inside him enough where they could regress back of their safe friendship bubble once more.

Rebuild his defenses, reconstruct his walls. That’s right, Mori was giving him an opportunity, a chance to remember who he was. He wasn’t some weak, lovesick fool, he was the demon prodigy. The strong, inhuman and indestructible demon prodigy.

And no one, not even Asagao could change that. He’d prove it.

Snapping his eyes back to Mori, Dazai feigned indifference for the topic, even though every muscle inside him was pleading to take his offer like a lifeline. “I guess I could do it. Just as long as it’s not boring or dumb.”

But it didn’t matter if his exterior was impassible, Mori still saw the flicker of desperation in his un bandaged eye, the way the boy clung onto his offer with everything he had.

And Mori relished in the expression. There it was, the dependance. “I assure you, it will be anything but. Now run along, you have much to do to prepare. I expect great results, demon prodigy.”

Then the boss watched Dazai slowly stand from his seat in a fake act of nonchalance before heading out the door, clearly eager to start his mind distracting mission.

And when he was gone, the boss slowly circled around to Dazai’s empty chair before resting his hands on the top before a cold smile spread across his lips.

That minor miscalculation was bothersome, but it would soon be fixed.

It was still an unshakable fact after all,

Mori always got what he wanted.

-------

While getting ready for his job, Dazai pulled out his phone to call Asagao, his heart skipping a beat as soon as she picked up. “Ah, Samu! What a surprise. What’s new?”

Trying his best to shake away the confusing and overwhelming feelings in his chest, Dazai cleared his throat before forcing himself to sound nonchalant. “Mori gave me a job. I won’t be around for a while.”

There was a pause on the other end of the line before Asa replied, just as sweetly as she always did. “Ooh a job? That’s exciting! Don’t worry about me, just be careful, alright?”

The way she accepted his absence so easily brought a painful knot in his throat. Ah, he was right. He was the only one freaking out about the kiss. She seemed fine. This job was a good decision.

Giving a dry laugh, Dazai replied. “Ah, you know me, love. Careful is so boring.”

He heard her light playful laugh in return. “You’re right about that. Let me rephrase that then. Have as much chaos as you want, just be sure to come back after. Better?”

Dazai then found himself smiling softly in reply without permission, his voice showing his real feeling for a millisecond. “Yeah, better.”

Widening his eyes at the slip, Dazai then cleared his throat again before hastily adding. “I have to go, bye.”

And then the boy hung up before feeling his head collapse against the nearest wall with a groan as he closed his eyes in order to calm his ever beating heart. He truly was a mess, in every way possible.

That mission couldn’t come fast enough.

------

Chuuya was no longer the same after meeting Dazai’s girlfriend.

He had tried and tried and tried so hard to forget that horrible night, the one where both that shitty mackerel and his psychopath girlfriend played him so badly that he had gotten kidnapped and beaten up for their own entertainment but he simply couldn’t.

He couldn’t forget it.

In fact, that little event was like plague in his mind, simply because of one thing and one thing only. Dazai he had expected to be a pain in the ass, but Asagao? Now that was the wild card he hadn’t predicted.

Who knew a cute dorky glasses wearing girl could turn out just as sick and twisted as Dazai himself? Those two, they perfectly fed off each other in all the worst ways possible.

But that wasn’t what bothered him the most. What bothered him was far more complicated than a simple hatred for the game that she had pulled.

It was that face she had made when he called her a freak.

Because that face, that vulnerable painful look she showed him was nothing like Dazai. But it didn’t make any goddamn sense. She had set up their twisted plot, Dazai and her willingly got all of them kidnapped just to screw over that ex-mafia member.

Hell she even pretended to be in distress so that Chuuya would have no choice but to agree to that stupid ass nickname she was shoving down his throat since the beginning. She wasn’t a good person and clearly had no remorse for her actions.

But then why did it look like she was going to cry when he so obviously rejected her? Why did it look like she was having a panic attack and breaking down in front of him? She should’ve known that doing all that shit would make him pissed off. Was she really that stupid, did she truly think that manipulation was equivalent to friendship?

And Chuuya had tried to tell himself that it was an act, that Asagao’s strange switch in personality was just another method of bullshit. It had to be.

She had snapped that ex-mafia members' legs like twigs and shot down hundreds of enemies with no feeling, there was no way she was seriously heartbroken and shattered after a simple friendship rejection. That girl was messing with him, even now. He knew it.

But somewhere in the back of his mind Chuuya was still haunted by it.

Of the lost, sad look in her face when she apologized for ever asking in the first place, of the quiver in her voice or the shake in her hands when she bowed and walked away.

Chuuya felt himself pull on the strands of his hair in frustration at the memory. Ah, damn it! Why did he feel like shit?! She was the one that manipulated him, played him like nothing. Why in the hell did he feel guilty all of a sudden?! That girl was doing this on purpose, she had to be. Ugh, he hated her so much.

Stomping down the streets near the port mafia, the ginger haired boy sought out to clear his head to no avail. Those annoying feelings were still there, that stupid sad face still plaguing his vision like a constant nightmare that wouldn’t go away, but he had to try or else he’d go insane.

Yet that’s when he saw a very familiar head of red messy hair slip into the nearby dark alley only for Chuuya to pause. No, there’s no way in hell. She was not here. Great, was he hallucinating that little psycho now? Oh god, he hoped not.

Against his better judgment, the mafioso walked over to the alley with the intent to disprove his crazy imagination. He was in port mafia territory, why in the hell would that girl even be here for? Unless she was stalking him now?

And quite honestly he wouldn’t put it past her, considering she was fucking crazy.

Stepping into the dimly lit alley, Chuuya then paused at the sight before him. No way, it was her alright, Dazai’s girlfriend, and she was being held at knifepoint, like some kind of stick up or robbery.

And to anyone else, the scene could be seen as concerning. An innocent girl in criminal territory being held at knifepoint in extreme danger? It was a classic damsel in distress situation, one that Chuuya would’ve stopped immediately if she was any normal person.

But Asagao was anything but normal, and Chuuya knew better than to underestimate and reduce her to a simple princess in trouble. No, he wouldn’t make that mistake again. So he waited.

Narrowing his eyes out of sight, the ginger remained hidden as he heard Asa speak casually to the criminal, almost like her life wasn't in danger at this very second. “I don’t know, I mean, what should I even do? I could really use some advice here.”

Chuuya then watched the criminal take a step closer to Asagao, his eyes narrowed in frustration as he shouted angrily. “You want some advice? How about you shut your mouth right now before I do it for you!”

Yet Asagao wasn’t shaken in the slightest, only shaking her head in disappointment as she casually replied. “You know, you aren’t a very good active listener. I’m really dishing my heart out here and I feel like you aren’t paying attention at all.”

The robber only shook his head in disbelief though, taking a step closer to her with a shout. “What the hell are you going on about?! Just let me rob you!!”

Asa only waved him away though, clearly disregarding the threat he was displaying, an unbothered smile on her lips as if she was in her own world. “Yeah yeah yeah,I already said I’d let you do that in a second. Oh, where was I? Oh yeah! So the thing is, we are supposed to be friends and he said that the kiss was supposed to be the same as my first one but it so clearly wasn’t the same, but I don’t want to come off as a weirdo cause it seemed to be the same for him. I mean he’s kissed hundreds of girls before so of course I wouldn’t be anyone special to him, which is fine, but then I can’t shake these strange feelings after it. Like I want him to do it again. Is that crazy? Of course it’s crazy right? And I know I should just ignore them and move on but I don’t know, it’s really hard.I feel like maybe I’m overreacting and I don’t wanna seem too clingy, do I seem too clingy to you?”

And it was obvious that the robber hadn’t expected the strange therapy session and rambling confessions of this strange random woman. Hell, he thought she’d be an easy target, being alone and distracted as she walked the unsavory streets of the port mafia territory. But this, he hadn’t planned for this.

Because somehow, this crazy ass girl was just talking to him normally, like there wasn’t a knife in his hand, like he hadn’t just threatened to kill her and rob her of all her money. She didn’t seem affected in the least. In fact, she hadn’t even reacted when he dragged her into this alleyway. There was something wrong with this girl, that was for sure. She wasn’t normal at all.

And now he had to hear about her bullshit melodrama, to hear her ramble on and on about some guy that she kissed that she needed advice on. She wouldn’t shut up about it, almost like she was genuinely trying to get advice while being robbed. But who in their right mind would even do that?!

The robber opened his mouth to reply before she cut him off, clearly still rambling her perpetual word vomit. “Then again we were drunk when we kissed so it could’ve been the alcohol and I could be overreacting the whole thing. But what if I’m not? What if it wasn’t the alcohol and I genuinely want to kiss him again? That would be a disaster, right? Of course it would be haha. The last thing I wanna do is chase him away. I don’t want to ruin our arrangement and go back to having no one again. I don’t know, what do you think, Mr. Robber?”

Blinking in disbelief, the criminal shook his head. “You’re insane..”

Asagao only hummed though, almost like she was taking his comment as actual advice before giving him an unbothered smile. “Well that’s a known fact, silly. But it doesn't help me with my problem, now does it? Got anything else?”

But the man was over it, his patience snapped as he raced forward to the girl, knife outstretched in order to finally shut her up and give him some peace and quiet for once. “Ugh! Just shut the fuck up! I’m gonna cut out your damn tongue!”

Asagao didn’t seemed bothered by his attack, in fact she looked quite unimpressed as the robber watched her easily dodge his stab before he suddenly felt his lungs cave in and his legs get swept under him by some kind of invisible force before his shoulder cried out in agony only to find his own knife buried in the surface like some kind of sick magic trick.

What the hell? She didn’t even move. No, it couldn't be, did this chick have some kind of ability? She destroyed him in a single second. What a monster.

And even Chuuya couldn’t help but be taken back by how quickly she took this guy down. Yes, he knew about her lethal time stop ability but seeing it in action again was just as haunting and impressive as it was the first time.

Groaning out in pain, the criminal wheeze out a breath, clutching his shoulder with agony as he looked up at the seemingly unbothered auburn haired woman. “W-What, what did you do to me? You stabbed me!”

Asa only leaned down though, an apologetic smile on her lips. “Ah yeah, sorry about that. Might have overdone it a bit. But really it’s your fault, Mr. Robber. If you listened and gave me some advice I would’ve let you rob me, promise I would’ve. But you had to be difficult.”

Chuuya then shifted his foot only for the girl to snap her head up and notice him, her smile growing wider in order to jump up and practically skip to the ginger in joy. “Chu Chu! What a nice surprise, what are you doing here?”

Yet that’s when the mafioso couldn’t help but glance at the robber that was still gasping for air by her feet only for Asa to follow her gaze with a nervous unconvincing laugh. “Oh, him? He was like that when I got here. Isn’t that right?”

But the robber only groaned in pain, causing Chuuya to shake his head. God, she was just as crazy and psychotic as he remembered her to be. “What are you doing here? You stalkin me or something?

And he wouldn’t have put it past her if that was the case, considering what she had just done to this lowly low class criminal. Why else would she be in port mafia territory? It wasn’t the see Dazai, that mackerel already expressed how he didn’t want her here in his line of work.

Asagao only seemed confused by his comment though, looking around the alley before putting her hands up in defense with a goofy grin. “What? Oh no no, not at all. If I was stalking you, you wouldn’t even know it until it was too late haha.”

It seemed she meant that as a joke, but it only made Chuuya pale at the implications of what she could do to him if she truly wanted to follow him around, and Asa seemed to notice that as well, her lips dropping an awkward neutral expression. “Sorry, bad joke. Was just trying to lighten the mood. I’m not stalking you, promise. I just happened to be here. Small world, huh?”

Chuuya only raised a skeptical eye though. “You’re telling me you just happened to be in port mafia territory? Cut the shit, Asagao. You think I’d believe that? You’re up to something.”

And what Chuuya didn’t know was that the reason for her strange outing was in order to clear her head of that kiss that Dazai had shared with her a couple days ago. It seemed she also was having a malfunction of her own, one that she wasn’t ready to tell anyone.

Asa shook her head in response at his accusation, put a hand to her heart passionately and dramatically. “No, really, it’s true this time. I’m not, promise! I’m not up to anything remotely shady..currently..”

Groaning in exasperation at the last part of her sentence, he grumbled. “God, you’re so much like Dazai. Give me a damn break..”

It was the one thing he hated about her the most. How she was like Dazai, the very bane of his existence. With her here it seemed like his eternal punishment had been doubled, giving him two long lasting menaces instead of one.

Great, just great. He could already feel a headache coming on.

Yet that’s when he heard her voice again. “Hey Chu..”

Grumbling under his breath, the ginger’s head snapped up with annoyance, his voice sharp and cold. “What, what the hell do you want now?!”

Yet the second his eyes looked on hers, he found a different expression on her face, a softer, more somber one than before. “I wanted to apologize again for what I did. I was just so excited to meet you again that I got carried away. I promise I won’t overstep and ask you to be my friend again.”

And there it was again, that stupid face, the one that haunted his dream. God, why did she look so sad and vulnerable while talking about something so stupid? It couldn’t be real, she couldn’t be serious.

Asa was clearly a manipulative person, she was just trying to wrap him around her finger, he knew it. People like Dazai didn’t have a heart, and they certainly didn’t have feelings.

Besides, she knew what she was doing when she tricked him to use that stupid nickname and roped him into that little sick kidnapping plot that she and Dazai set up. She said it herself. There was no way she could have remorse for that.

But then why was he still feeling incredibly shitty for it? God, this woman was messing with his head. He needed to stop thinking about it.

Crossing his arms over his chest, Chuuya simply nodded, not revealing any of the inner turmoil he was feeling from her seemingly sincere apology. “Good.”

The mafioso then cleared his throat. “If you know then get out of here already.”

Nodding her head, Asagao turned to look around the alley. “Right, I should head home now. Let’s see it’s just..umm..”

Chuuya then raised an eye as he watched the girl glance at her surroundings, seeing the disconnect between her glasses and her eyes. Just what the hell was she doing, another trick? “Well, what are you waiting for?”

Giggling to herself in a nervous fashion, Asa continued to look around with a nod. “Sorry..I..was just…uh..”

And the more she looked around like a puppy, the more Chuuya was getting annoyed. Why the hell did it look like she didn’t know where she was? Wandering around like a lost little child..wait..

That’s when Chuuya paused, turning to her with annoyance. “Ah hell, don’t tell me you’re lost..”

Asagao then paused her search before laughing in order to rub her hair with an apologetic smile as her glasses slipped a little down her nose. “Hahaha oops?”

Oops? Oops?! That’s all she could say? She wandered into port mafia territory, lost herself lost like a child and all she had to say was oops?! Oh, you’ve got to be kidding me.

Putting his hands in his head with a groan, the mafioso shouted. “How can you be lost?!”

Asa only shrugged playfully though. “Ah well, it sorta just happened?”

The boy was only stunned in disbelief though. “Why are you acting so calm? Like this is a normal thing for you? Oh no, don’t tell me this is a normal thing for you..”

Laughing again, Asagao pushed her glasses back onto her face. “Sad to say, it is. It’s okay, I’m used to it. I’m sure I’ll find my way some way or another. I always do, haha.”

Although that’s when Chuuya watched the girl turn around a little too quickly and confidently, walking face first into the nearest alley wall, just like she did a couple days ago when he found out Dazai was her boyfriend.

Ah hell, this was a normal thing for her, she wasn’t kidding.

Immediately racing up to her, Chuuya pulled her shoulder back, disconnecting her from the wall like a frantic mother hen in order to check her face with annoyance. “H-Hey, watch where you’re going, damn it!”

Asa only smiled though, allowing his gloved hands to trace across her new bruised injury before brushing it off like nothing. “It’s okay, Chu Chu, I’m all good! I just thought I had a bit more space before the wall. I guess not though, huh? Haha.”

And the fact that she was disregarding the action was concerning enough, neither mind the fact that Chuuya had seen her walk into walls and get hit by objects way too often for him to like.

But that didn’t make sense. He had seen her power firsthand. She was an incredibly skilled fighter and expert marksman, especially with that terrifying time stop ability of hers. So why was she always bumping into shit?

Taking a step back from her, Chuuya frowned. “I don’t understand how you can be such a damn klutz when I saw you take down hordes of enemies single handedly.”

Asa then dusted herself off before her eyes lit up with understanding. “Oh, that’s easy! It’s because I wasn’t wearing my glasses then. I can see everything without them, and I mean everything. But I usually only take them off when I’m fighting cause it gets..intense..”

Moving his gaze to her large dorky glasses that took up her entire face, Chuuya’s face flashed in realization. That’s right, all those times she was kicking ass it was without her glasses, with her scary hollow corpse like eyes. That made sense.

And she said that was intense? Intense was a damn understatement.

Chuuya shivered at the memory, those dead iris’ still stuck in his mind. “So you’re a walking disaster the rest of the time then?”

Asa only smiled in reply. “A-Ah..yeah, you could say that..”

Blinking at her disbelief, the boy put his hands in his head again. Here she was, a lethal killer, a weapon of unstopping force and yet the idiot couldn’t walk more than a couple feet without walking into a wall. Talk about versatility. She was something else, really.

He didn’t know whether to laugh or scream at that information.

And part of him really wanted to leave her in the middle of port mafia territory, to walk away and have her wander around walking into walls and buildings all day, but another part of him, an annoying part felt the need to help the lost puppy before she got herself killed and walked into oncoming traffic by accident.

Because that totally sounded like something she would do.

Feeling his guilty conscience start to emerge victorious, Chuuya then dropped his hands with frustration before turning back to the stupid red haired girl before shoving them into his pocket in a mutter. “Kill me now, why does it have to be me?”

Then he raised his voice, quickly turning to leave the alley with a stomp of anger. “Fine, I give up. Hurry up before I change my mind!”

He expected her to follow him, but as soon as he got to the end of the alley, he turned only to find Asa staring at him with confusion. Ah, you’ve gotta be kidding me. Did he need to get a leash or something? She really was a stupid lost puppy.

Just then, Chuuya remembered what Dazai said to him back before they got kidnapped. That stupid mackerel always dragged her around by her wrist and said that he had to or else she’d be lost without him.

At first he took it as a possessive metaphor but damn it, it was real wasn’t it? Shitty Dazai knew she’d get lost if he didn’t grab onto her.

Stomping back up to her, Chuuya then grumbled to himself before wordlessly looking down at her hand. He didn’t want to latch onto her wrist like Dazai did, that seemed dehumanizing, even for her. Which only left one option left, just great.

The mafioso then sighed before wrapping his gloved hand around her bare one before practically pulling her out of the alleyway. “You’re insufferable..always making my life difficult..”

And as he began to lead her out of port mafia territory and back to civilian life, Asa looked down at his hand intertwined with his before speaking in confusion. “Chu Chu, you don’t have to..”

But Chuuya only shouted back, clearly annoyed by what he was doing. “Just shut up before I leave you in the middle of the road. I can’t believe I’m doing this, you’re such a child..getting lost like an idiot..”

Yet though his words were harsh, Asagao’s lips couldn’t help but curve into a small smile at the gesture. He could’ve left her alone, he should’ve considering what she did to him the last time they saw each other and yet he was helping her get back home.

He really was a good guy after all.

So she remained quiet, allowing Chuuya to drag her across the city until she recognized some of the landmarks and was able to give him directions back to Oda’s apartment.

Finally arriving back on the very familiar steps of her brother's place, Chuuya then let go only to see him walk away without a word as Asagao willed something to her lips to stop him. She didn’t want him to go, she wanted to spend more time with him, but he obviously didn’t want the same.

So she said the first thing that came to mind. “U-Um..if you ever want to come inside and hang out just let me know! The offer is always out there!”

Chuuya on the other hand didn’t even reply, happy to be rid of Dazai’s crazy and annoying girlfriend. The sooner he got away from her weird and strange mannerisms the better. He already had that shitty mackerel to deal with on a daily basis, the last thing he needed was a more directly changed and confusing version of him around.

Just then, the boy’s phone began to ring only for Chu to answer with a gruff reply. “What?”

The voice on the other end was a familiar one to the boy, the ginger’s harsh greeting leaving the receiver unbothered. “Ah, Chuuya! There’s my favorite grumpy mafioso I wanted to hear from. We got a bit of a problem here I was hoping you could solve.”

Already groaning from the implications, Chuuya frowned. “What is it this time, Piano Man?”

The man, Piano Man, was the head of a small group in the port mafia known as the young bloods, and it was a group that Chuuya associated with more recently. They were a team, helping each other with various cases and missions over the last year or so.

The leader only hummed though, and Chuuya practically could see the amused smile he always wore from the other side of the call. “You see, this new job the boss assigned is going to be a tough one. It requires a set of skills that your partner could fulfill but I just heard that Mori sent him on an assignment out of the country. Which means we’re lacking one annoyingly smart demon prodigy.”

Chuuya sighed at that, shaking his head before running his gloved fingers through his hair. “And why in the hell would the boss send Dazai away out of the country and then assign a job that needs his stupid skills? That makes no damn sense.”

Piano Man paused for a second before answering. “You didn’t hear this from me but it sounds like a test. Like the boss wants you to figure out how to finish the job at a disadvantage.”

Widening his eyes at that, Chuuya stopped walking. A test? Could that really be true, was Mori really testing him on how competent he was? But why would he want to test him? Wait, no, it couldn’t be..

Chuuya had been trying to become an executive like Dazai for years, was this his chance, was Mori trying to see if he was worthy of it? “You don’t think he’s testing me to be an executive, do you?”

There’s another hum on the other end before Piano Man answers rather amused. “Seems like it. Or at least it’s a step in that direction. The boss definitely has an eye on you for something. If not for the executive position then for something to show your worth to him.”

And that was something that made the boy’s heart stop in anxiety. Piano was right. This was his chance, his chance to show the boss that he was good enough to be an executive. He would finish this job without Dazai and earn his executive spot next to that mackerel.

For you see, this was something that Chuuya had wanted more than anything, ever since he was manipulated into joining the port mafia from the sheep. But it wasn’t for the power or the position, that’s not what the boy cared about.

No, there was one thing that was shackling him to the organization and to Mori as a whole, and that was his past, his history, his memory.

It was the one thing he could never have. His life started when he was seven years old. Before that there was nothing. Just a blank void that Chuuya could never uncover no matter how hard he tried. It always felt like a part of him was missing, like he was never completely whole.

And that’s why Chuuya needed to be an executive, it was because executives could see confidential files, including the information on Chuuya’s family and his past. He wanted it so badly, to know who he was, what he was, if he was even human or not. It was eating at him for years, the blanks in his memory driving him almost insane with possibility and fear.

Because of that, he knew he had to be an executive, to ease his mind and his heart.

And he would do absolutely anything to get it, even if it meant betting on impossible odds.

Narrowing his eyes in serious intent, the boy felt his fingers tighten on the phone. “We don’t need that shitty Dazai. We’ll show the boss we don’t need him.”

Piano Man seemed to nod on the other side of the phone. “That’s great and all but how are you going to work around the loss of Dazai? You have another crazy smart psychopath in your back pocket we could use?”

The boy frowned at that. His friend had a point. Dazai was a special kind of evil, finding someone that could equal him would be nearly impossible. No one in the mafia was that kind of insane.

Chuuya then opened his mouth to reply before an idea flashed in his mind. Wait, he did have someone like that, didn’t he? Someone that was just like Dazai, someone that could make the job succeed. Not in the mafia, but somewhere else.

Dazai’s girlfriend could do it, she could replace the demon prodigy for the job.

Just then, that shitty mackerels voice echoed into his mind like a warning

“The last place I will allow her to be is in the port mafia.”

Ah, that’s right. Dazai said that he didn’t want her in the port mafia, in the darkness like him, even if she fit into it so well. By getting her involved in this case Chuuya would be going against that bandage losers wishes.

But why should he care? That shitty bastard and his girlfriend had used and manipulated him for their own whims without a care, why couldn’t he do it himself for once? And it wasn’t like he was dragging Asagao into the port mafia, he just wanted her for this job.

Dazai could get over it. That bastard wasn’t even in the country. It was time for him to be selfish for once. He needed Asagao in order to be an executive, to learn about his family. It was for a good cause. Besides, Chuuya was just repaying the favor of her manipulation with his own.

And he hated to stoop to Dazai’s level but desperate times called for desperate measures.

Tightening his hold on the phone once more, Chuuya spoke. “Actually, I think I do.”

And then he hung up before turning back to find Asagao putting the key in the lock of her door, completely oblivious to the plan that was slowly brewing in Chuuya’s mind. That’s right, he could do this, for his future, for his memories.

Taking a step forward, the boy then called out to her, sealing his decision.

“That offer still available?”

Chapter 22:

"Tonight You're An Honorary Flag"

“That offer still available?”

Chuuya regretted the words as soon as they came out of his mouth.

Somehow, it felt like with those four little words, something was put in motion that the poor ginger could never take back, an unfortunate fate that internally told him he could never be rid of this little psychopath now that he had given her an inch of attention.

And that was explicitly clear when Asagao immediately turned around, her eyes widening with a mix of disbelief and shock as she tried to process if she had just heard correctly. “H-Huh?”

She was staring at him so intensely, he felt all his words die inside his throat, everything inside of him was telling him to backtrack, to forget the plan completely.

But unfortunately that wasn’t possible as Asagao practally raced up to him in half desperation and half confusion as she leaned in closer to him, invading his personal space without socially recognizing it. “What did you just say?”

Oh god, he was screwed.

He knew it, just from the look on her face. There was no going back. He had already dug his grave, and now he had to lie in it.

Swallowing the dread away, Chuuya repeated the words, the syllables like acid on his tongue. “I said, is that offer still available? To…hang out?”

God, he had to force the last phrase out of his lips before he resisted the urge to vomit. He had to remember this was for a purpose, he was using her. It would be worth it.

Please be worth it.

Asagao on the other hand still seemed to be processing his acceptance of her offer, blinking in half disbelief as she repeated them back. “…you want to hang out with me? Really?”

He could feel it, her claws were in him now, she had taken the bait. There truly was no going back now.

Reluctantly nodding, he took a step closer against the better judgment before muttering gruffly. “Is that a problem?”

Asa immediately shook her head though, racing up to the cautious ginger before practically bouncing on her heels like a little puppy, eyes wide with giddy excitement. “You are kidding?! Of course it’s okay, I’d love that! Oh wow, this is the best day ever. I never thought you’d say yes! I mean I always thought that you hated me and I just..”

She was so loud, so ear grating that he was already pissed off, putting his hand to her lips before she went on with her incessant word vomit. “Okay, I get it. Just shut up already. You talk too much.”

Asa didn’t seem bothered or annoyed by that though, simply nodding with understanding before giving one of her brain dead smiles. “Ah, sorry! I’m just excited. I’ll work on it though, Chu Chu, I promise.”

There’s a beat of silence then as Chuuya waits for her to let him inside her apartment but she just continues to stare at him with that dumb stupid smile, staring at him without a word like she was savoring the moment and taking some imagery photo in her head.

And frankly, it was getting awkward, really awkward.

First the girl couldn’t shut up and now she wasn’t saying a damn thing? Chuuya was already getting a headache and severely regretting this plan.

She clearly was more trouble then she was worth, maybe even more batshit insane then Dazai was, which was saying a lot.

Chuuya then clears his throat only for Asa to turn her head in confusion. “Hm?”

The mafioso then groans before putting his head in his hands to calm his temper and point to the door to remind her what he’s waiting on.

He couldn’t get on with this if she didn’t open the damn door!

Asagao then widens her eyes before seemingly turning back to life, bouncing up to the door and pulling out her key. “Oh, right! Sorry, come on in. Make yourself at home! I’ll make some tea, do you like tea Chu Chu?”

He mutters back: “Not really…”

Nodding her head, she turns the key and the door cracks open. “No worries. I have lots of options. What would you like?”

The boy knew the answer immediately, it was the only thing that was going to get him through this awful encounter and night with Dazai’s insane girlfriend. “Alcohol, lots of it. Wine preferably.”

Asa hums at that. “Hmm okay, I think we have some of that. I’ll go take a look!”

He then watched her wild auburn hair disappear inside as Chuuya apprehensively ascended to the steps before freezing at the doorway as a horrible thought popped into his mind before he could cross the threshold.

Hold on, just what the hell was he going to walk into?

It was no secret that Dazai’s girlfriend wasn’t exactly…sane, in any capacity, and that was being generous.

He had seen her tear through enemies like butter, had witnessed her twisted manipulative plots so to be completely honest he was absolutely terrified of what he’d find inside these walls.

What if her idea of decor was something sick and twisted like severed heads or jars of eyeballs? What if her entryway was bathed in blood in her enemies and scattered with human remains hanging from the ceilings? What if she had some poor bastard tied up gutted like a fish in the living room? Honestly, the possibilities were endless.

And yeah sure, Chuuya was in the mafia, he had seen his fair share of fucked up and horrible things but there was something about Asagao that unsettled him in a way no one else ever could. She had this manic unhinged vibe about her that not even Dazai could match.

At least with Dazai you knew what you were getting, with Asagao it was anyone’s guess.

And that was absolutely terrifying because the possibilities that he was going to see something absolutely grotesque was way too high for his liking.

He had seen her idea of “fun” and he definitely didn’t like it considering it involved breaking people’s legs and manipulating them to her will.

A shiver ran up Chuuya’s spine at the thought before he shoved it down. What the hell was he so freaked out for? He was Nakahara Chuuya damn it, mafioso and past king of the sheep. He could handle one psychopath's house..right?

Taking a deep breath, the boy then closed his eyes before stepping into the house, pausing in the entryway before counting to three in his head in case he had to mentally prepare for what he was about to see. Please no severed heads, please no severed heads, please no severed heads.

But when he opened his eyes, the mafioso paused at what he saw.

Hold on, this was…normal?

He could hardly believe it. The apartment that he was so worried about was just a normal everyday apartment, warm, cozy, nothing that he associated with Asagao. In fact, it didn't even look like her place at all. Her psycho touches were nowhere to be seen.

Her voice then rings through his ears right next to him. “What are you looking at?”

Chuuya immediately jumped before turning to find Asagao standing behind him, a seemingly innocent smile on her lips but he wasn't fooled. How long had she been watching him? He wasn’t sure he wanted to know.

Damn it, this girl was making him anxious.

Perhaps it was because he was inside of her domain now, in a place he didn’t fully know or understand. She had the advantage here and he hated that idea more than anything.

Shaking his head, he managed out a response. “N-Nothing, I was just looking. Your place is..not really like you.”

She tilts her head at that. “What do you mean?”

Clearing his throat, Chuuya forces his voice to come out normally, regardless of the nervous twitch of his fingers. “It looks, you know, normal…and you’re…not.”

And any normal person would’ve been offended by that, but of course since the girl had a screw loose, Asa simply hummed in response. “Oooh, yeah no you're right. That’s because it's not my place. It’s my brothers.”

Chuuya nodded absentmindedly, before pausing to process her words. Wait, did she just say brother? he didn’t know she even had a family, never mind a brother. “Oh..I see. I assume your brother isn’t here right now then?”

He glanced into the room, half expecting a more psychotic version of Asa to pop out (if that was even possible) only for her to laugh at his question. “Nah, he’s dead. Anyways, have a seat! Tea’s almost ready, and I found some wine for you too! It’s your lucky day Chu Chu.”

Then disappearing into the living room next to them, Chuuya found himself alone once more, leaving him speechless and utterly whiplashed from their conversation.

Wait, did she just say dead? Her brother was dead? What kind of fucked up reaction was that?! Why was she brushing it off and laughing about her family member being dead?

Just then, Chuuya got a grave thought. She didn’t..kill him, right? No, there’s no way. She was crazy but she wasn’t that crazy. She wouldn’t kill her own brother and then laugh about his dead corpse, right?

But to be completely honest the mafioso wasn’t completely sure if she would or not. She was like a hurricane, a disaster leaving him in the whirlwind each and every time. Perhaps she was capable of such a thing.

There did seem to be a disconnect there, between her and her dead brother.

Either way, he wasn’t sure if he wanted to know the whole story.

Shaking the thought away, Chuuya then hesitantly stepped into the living room only for her to beam and pat the seat across from her as he noticed a fresh glass of wine on the coffee table, waiting ominously for him. “Ah, there you are! I got your wine, don’t worry though. I didn’t poison it or anything.”

She laughs to herself, smiling widely as he is forced to sit in the seat, the soft plush cushions of the sofa doing nothing to ease him in any way. He still felt like he was in a prison, the walls of her house confining and strangely ominous.

And why did she mention poison?! He wasn’t thinking about it before but now he was. What if she still actually laced his drink? He wouldn’t have put it past her. That sounded like something fucked up she could do.

Feeling his stomach turn suddenly he wasn’t in the mood for alcohol anymore.

The room was quiet, Chuuya hearing nothing but the sound of his own anxious breathing as he looked around the space to catalog every corner in case he had to fight his way out of this seemingly innocent room and to not look at the possibly laced wine.

He then catches a stack of bandages on a table in the corner, knowing that Dazai was here recently. Damn, she was fully stocked up. How often did that bandage freak come here? He knew she was that bastard’s girlfriend but that was enough gauze to last three to five years.

Getting back on topic, the ginger haired boy then sucked in a breath before turning back to her to get this over with. “Listen up, I..I have to talk to you about something, alright?”

Asa blinks in surprise at that, picking up her teacup with interest. “Yeah of course. Anything, Chu Chu.”

And it took everything within him not to snap at her or punch her for her stupid ass nickname. He hated it more than anything but that was not what mattered right now.

Still, he couldn’t stop his eye from twitching a bit in lingering distaste. “Right so, I have this mission coming up and it’s a damn big one.”

Asa beams at that, leaning forward in interest, like a kid on Christmas. “Oh, a mission! How exciting. Is it a dangerous one? Are you gonna beat a bunch of people up? Sounds super fun!”

Fun? That was not the word he would use to describe his port mafia missions, literally ever. Sure, beating people up could be rewarding but it was more of a pain in the ass more than anything.

But the way she was looking at him, it was like she was jealous of said mission, urging him for the glory details that would make any sane person run away.

Of course she’d be into the violence aspect of the job, considering how enjoyable she found tearing apart those rivals a couple days ago. What a freak.

Doing his best to humor her, Chuuya nods in discomfort. “Right..anyways, we’ve got a hell of a problem. This job requires Dazai’s lazy ass but he’s not in the country at the moment..”

The boy then swallows his words before continuing. “And we need someone with his skill set..and you’re kind of the only option we have at the moment..”

God, this was so fucking hard. He didn’t want to do this. He didn’t want to be reliant on a crazy girl to help them. But it was for his family, for the flags, for him to be an executive. It had to be done.

Finishing, Chuuya forces out the rest of the question, gritting his teeth like it’s physically painful for him to ask. “So, uhh..will you help?”

And then, he sits in silence again, the only sound being the ticking clock on the wall as he fidgets with his hands as she stares at him blankly.

Why the hell was she just staring at him like that? One minute he couldn’t shut her up and now she was quiet as a damn mouse? Ugh, he hated this.

Then, the mafioso watched as Asa carefully puts down her teacup before straightening back up and lifting her hand like a child wanting to ask a question in school.

Seriously, what the hell?

Holding back a groan, Chuuya speaks. “Yes?”

Asa then puts her hand down before her voice comes out in curiosity. “Would it be rude to point out the fact that you're withholding information from me or is that something that normal people usually keep to themselves?”

And Chuuya feels his blood run cold.

What?

How in the...she realized he was hiding something?! She noticed that he was using her? No way, there’s no way she knew that. He didn’t say a damn thing. She was just bluffing, that had to be it.

Feeling himself turn speechless, he stuttered. “W-What? I’m not hiding anything..”

But Asagao is quick to correct him, giggling in an amused manner before crossing her legs casually and leaning against the sofa. “Come on Chu Chu, of course you are. It’s everywhere. In your body language, in your eyes, but mostly in the tone of your voice. You’re definitely withholding something from me.”

Blinking in disbelief, he shakily asked. “My..voice?”

She only nods though, smiling happily while she picks him apart. “Mhm, the tone is more forced, about a half octave lower than usual. And your foot has been tapping anxiously ever since you sat down in an irregular rhythm of about ¾. You’re nervous about this job, and not only that, there's a hint of desperation in your tone as well, hidden but not invisible. You need to do this job for some reason. Hence, you withholding information.”

And Chuuya is stunned, absolutely positively stunned. No fucking way. She clocked him immediately. It was terrifying, how she picked him apart like nothing. What else did she notice that she hadn’t outright pointed out? Shit, he was in over his head.

He couldn’t deny it anymore, it was for sure. “How..how did you..��

Asa only beams at that, picking her teacup back up again and taking a sip. “Ah, it’s talent really, or a curse depending on the day. If I took my glasses off I’d be able to read you more but I know they freak you out.”

She taps her large dorky glasses to enhance her point and Chuuya shivers, remembering her cold dead, lifeless eyes behind the lenses. He didn’t want to know what she was capable of without those things on.

The silence hangs in the air for a couple seconds more before Asa breaks it. “Well either way, I won’t be able to help you. I’m sorry.”

Blinking in disbelief, Chuuya gasps, leaning forward. “W-What? Why the hell not? I thought you’d jump at a chance to beat up some bastards like last time.”

Her smile turns sad at that. “Oh believe me, I do love a good fight but I can’t be that close to the mafia. For..personal reasons.”

Personal reasons? What the hell did that mean, and why did she look so sad about it? Chuuya didn’t know, but it seemed like whatever it was she wasn’t going to budge on it.

You’ve got to be kidding me, she was his best shot.

Grumbling at the rejection, Chuuya’s eyes glance back to the stack of bandages on the table before narrowing. Her personal reason must have something to do with that bastard.

He did say the last place he wanted his girlfriend to be was in the mafia but the ginger thought he was just being possessive. Perhaps it was more than that. “Because of Dazai?”

Yet he was surprised when she simply shook her head. “No..not because of him.”

Wait, if it wasn’t because of Dazai then why didn’t she want to be in the mafia? It seemed to be the perfect place for her, to nurture her fucked up and psychotic desires and interests. It didn’t make any sense to him.

Either way, she wasn’t going to help him, he wasn’t going to complete this job and become an executive to find his family. The realization was earth shattering, his heart sinking inside his chest and dropping his head.

She was his only shot of getting this done and now it was nearly impossible.

Yet that’s when he hears Asa’s voice, the tone softer than usual as she leans forward and puts a hand on his shoulder in reassurance. “Why is this job so important to you, Chuuya?”

It was the first time she had used his first name, but he hardly realized it, too lost in his own thoughts. He doesn’t want to tell her, he doesn't want her to know how empty he is, how broken.

Shaking his head, he dismisses her urge to get him to open up. “It’s for the port mafia, it’s important for us..”

But Asagao is smart, far too smart then he wants her to be, her fingers giving his shoulders a small squeeze in response. “You wouldn’t come ask me if it was only for the port mafia. This is personal.”

Cursing under his breath at her stupid talent of reading people, he runs his hands through his hair before giving up. It wasn’t going to work if he held shit back anyways.

He’s going to have to tell her, whether he likes it or not. “It’s for me, okay? I need to get this damn mission done, so the boss will make me an executive.”

He hears her voice grow surprised but he refuses to look. “An executive? Like Samu?”

Chuuya only nods, his own fingers gripping into his hair and pulling on it. He hates talking about this, especially with her. “Yeah, I need it. It’s the only way the boss will let me into a file to..to find my family.”

Once again, he hears her curious voice. “Your family..”

Gritting his teeth, he feels his lips form words against his permission. “Yeah, I don’t..I don’t remember them. Anything about them. I don’t even know if I have a damn family, that's why..I need to know..”

The air is quiet again and he absolutely hates it. Out of everyone, why is it her that has to find out about his family, about his weakness? He feels disgusting, weak, pouring his heart out to a girl without one.

But he couldn’t lie. Not to her. He wanted to, but it was impossible, she’d read him anyway. God, this silence was suffocating, it was like he couldn’t even breathe, crushed by his own inadequacy.

Although that’s when he hears her speak, and it’s small, emotional. “It’s like a black hole, an empty carven that you are desperately trying to fill. A part of you is missing without them, so you cling to anything you can, including that file. That’s why you need it, why you need to complete this mission, right?”

And Chuuya pauses before lifting his head to look at her this time. She had read him again, but this time it felt different, more personal, like she understood.

But how could she understand? How could she comprehend the loss of his own blood, the family he never knew and so desperately wished to?

But little did he know, Asa knew that feeling extremely well, more than anyone else.

And her heart bled for him. She didn’t want anyone to experience the emptiness she felt, the one her big brother Oda left behind. It hurt, more than anyone could ever imagine, that gaping hole of nothingness, the blank space that they both so desperately wanted to fill in more than anything.

And she promised Ango she wouldn’t run to the mafia, she told Dazai that she would walk a different path then the hellhound association she was created to be, she wanted to stay true to her brother’s wish to keep her out of this life...

But that look in Chuuya’s eyes, that sad awful familiar look, made her waver.

It made her start to consider a very dangerous idea.

The ginger doesn’t sense the conflict in her though, his mind too occupied by his own thoughts, his skin crawling with a vulnerability he rarely ever shows. It was like Asagao had stripped him down to his bare heart and he hated it.

Asagao then looks away for a moment, as if debating something he doesn’t understand before speaking again, into the space. “If I were to help you, what would you give me?”

At that, Chuuya immediately snaps his head to her. Wait, she was thinking about helping him? No way. It was like a ray of hope flickered to life at her very statement.

And he knew it didn’t matter what she asked for, he would give it to her.

He was that desperate.

Desperate to find out his family, desperate to know if he was truly human or just a monster underneath it all. He needed to know the answer to the thing he was secretly terrified of.

But he was still wary, she had the power right now and he was sure she’d use it extensively. “What do you want?”

Asagao hums at that before tilting her head in curiosity. “What are you offering?”

He pauses at that. What could he possibly offer this psycho that she’d actually agree with? It had to be something she wanted or else she’d probably turn him down.

Getting an idea a second later, Chuuya tries to shut it down in his mind. Oh hell no, anything but that. But if that was the only option, he had no choice but to swallow his pride.

It was the one thing she had asked him for and he completely turned her down.

God damn it, he had no choice.

Groaning to himself, Chuuya then sucks in a heavy breath before sealing his fate forever. “I’m offering..my friendship.”

And he hated it when she immediately widened her eyes, her mouth dropping open with shock as she leaned forward and once again evaded his personal space. “W-Wait, you’re serious? We can be friends??”

Resisting the urge to take it back, he nods, leaning back to get some space. “...yes. We can be friends.”

Asagao then gasps before immediately standing up, outstretching her hand, like sealing the deal with the devil itself. “Deal! You got yourself one Asagao! Congrats!”

He’s stunned at that, blinking in disbelief, his mind reeling in a million different directions. “W-What? You’ll help? But you said..”

She only smiles though, waving her hand away like she had forgotten her reservations even though they were so important before. “Ah, it’s fine it’s fine, it’s only one mission right? And I gotta help my brand new friend!”

Looking down for a second, Asagao then paused before a flash of a very familiar bandaged boy flashed in her head, her lips tingling with memory from a certain kiss only for her to blush and turn around away from him for a second, muttering under her breath. “Besides, I could use a distraction..”

Yet before he could question it, the frantic auburn haired girl slaps her cheeks twice to snap her out of something before turning back around with a smile. “Anyways, what are you waiting for? Shake my head already, Chu Chu! Let’s make our agreement official!”

Outstretching her hand again, Asa wiggles her fingers to coax Chuuya as he looks at it, a sense of hope and dread in his stomach.

This was it, if he shook her hand there was no going back, he knew it.

It felt like a contract with a demon, a scary unpredictable demon wearing the disguise of a cute red haired girl and something inside him told him that if he grabbed her hand, he would never be able to get away.

That this would seal his fate, for better or for worse.

But somehow, he lifted his hand outwards in a resigned fate. Consequences be damned, he needed her. “Fine. You have a deal. Just don’t expect me to be all chummy with you or some shit..”

Asa only beams though, shaking his hand joyfully, so much so he thinks his arm is going to fall off. “Oh, don’t worry about that! I promise, I’ll be the best friend in the entire world! You know, I’ve never had a friend before, this is the best day ever!”

Chuuya can’t help but mutter under his breath at her comment. “I can’t imagine why..”

He meant it as an insult, knowing fully well why no one ever stuck around. No one could probably keep up with her brand of crazy, except for Dazai that is.

Asagao only nods though, a finger to her chin in silent contemplation. “Yeah, I don’t know either. But you know Chu Chu, I would’ve done it without the bribe.”

At that, Chuuya felt his eyes widen, seeing red immediately.

Excuse me? What the hell did she just say?! She didn’t need a bribe, she would’ve said yes without him offering up his stupid friendship?? He didn’t have to do that?!

Oh, you’ve got to be kidding me.

Standing up with his fists clenched, the boy shouts, absolutely livid. “You didn’t need the bribe?!”

Asa only shrugs though, pissing him off more. “Mmm nope, just wanted to see if you’d offer me anything good. And you did! It was a good one too, thanks for that.”

Feeling his eye twitch, it took everything within him not to ring her neck. He was absolutely played, just like when they first met. That shady little bitch.

He hated her, he absolutely hated her.

Asagao then beams before turning around, gesturing for him to follow her as she skips towards the door, very happy with herself for her deception. “Now then, come on new best friend, let’s start this mission!”

Best friend…she called him her best friend. She was already pushing her luck, he said friend not best friend. God, he didn’t know how he was going to do this.

A part of him wanted to call off the whole thing right then and there but he withheld, just barely, chanting a mantra in his head, one he was hoping would get him through this awful horrible mission. I need her, I can’t kill her. I need her, I can’t kill her.

I need her, but damn it..

I want to kill her.

It turns out once Asagao got to the front door leading outside, she remembered something important, muttering something about having to change and get something so Chuuya just gave her the address to the Flags base and left without her.

Which honestly he was thankful for because he didn’t know if he could take another second of her, and if he was forced to walk side by side with her all the way into port mafia territory he probably would’ve drowned her in the nearby river before they got there.

Getting to the familiar base, Chuuya put his finger up to his temple to quell his pounding headache. He seemed to get those after every unpleasant interaction with Dazai’s crazy ass girlfriend.

He stepped into the base, sighing only for Piano Man to notice his distress, smirking as he strolls up to his fellow member. “Hey Chuuya, there you are. Did you get that replacement for Dazai you were talking about?”

Closing his eyes in defeat, the ginger sighed. “Yeah, she’ll be here soon, unfortunately.”

At his words, Lippman raised his brow, strolling forward like the flirt he was. “Did you just say girl? Way to go Chuuya! Is she hot?”

The boy only rolled his eyes though. “Don't start, you pervert. She’s my age.”

Lippman’s shoulders slumped at that, disappointment across his face. Just when he thought he had a new bit of eye candy to look at. He had no interest in kids. That was gross. “Ugh, seriously? You got me excited for nothing.”

The man then began to pout only for Albatross to pat his back once in amusement. “It’s alright man, I’m sure this kid is something special if she can substitute for Dazai. Isn’t that right Chuuya? I can’t wait to meet her!”

Albatross was always the optimist, but his words of interest only made Chuuya groan more, his fingers pinching his nose in clear exhaustion. “Look guys, there’s something you need to know before you meet her. Yeah she can fill in for that bastard but she’s just as batshit insane as him.”

The flags all look at each other in surprise. Just as crazy as Dazai? That was quite the statement. They didn't think anyone could be as nuts as the infamous demon prodigy. He was a breed in itself.

Piano Man turns his head in concern at that. “What do you mean?”

Chuuya then opens his mouth before shutting it right after. What could he even say, how could he describe someone as unhinged as Asagao? He honestly didn’t know. It was like simple words didn’t do her justice, and he meant that in the most derogatory way possible.

Yet that’s when the door knocks and the ginger mafioso groans. Well, they were going to find out for themselves, whether they liked it or not. “You’ll see.”

Walking over to the door, Chuuya then takes a breath before opening it only to find Asagao’s smiling face, her body bouncing up and down like she can’t contain herself as she brushes past the boy to make herself inside without being invited in.

Of course she did, he’s not even surprised anymore.

And the Flags are certainly surprised when the small cute red haired girl with large dorky glasses hops into the room, her mouth dropped open in awe and wonder as she looks around like a kid in a candy shop. “Whoaaa, a real life mafia base. This is so cool!’

Piano Man can’t help but chuckle at her childish energy. “Someone’s excited.”

Hearing his voice, Asagao then turns and gasps before racing up to the group, a goofy smile on her lips as she outstretches her hand. “Oh, hello! Nice to meet you! You must be Chuuya’s friends! I’m Asagao but you can call me Asa if you’d like. Lots of people do! Oh, I’m just so excited to be here, really!”

The Flags stood in silence for a moment at her overload of energy. They didn’t get that much in the mafia so seeing her so smiley and hyper was unexpected, causing Albatross to laugh and speak first. “You sure got a lot of energy kid, I like it!”

Asa beams at that. “Thanks, I get that alot!”

Lippman can’t resist ruffling her hair in response. “Yeah, you’re a cutie! Like a little puppy!”

Piano Man laughs at his friend's comment before speaking. “So, you’re the one that’s here to help us with Dazai’s part of the plan for the mission?”

She claps her hands at that, bouncing up and down once more. “Yes! Chu Chu told me all about it and I’m here to help!”

The Flags look at each other and can’t help but snicker at that cute nickname she gave the grumpy ginger who looked like he was two seconds from punching her a couple feet away.

Covering his lips with his hand, Lippman smirks at that. “Ah, so Chu Chu recruited you?”

Chuuya balled his fists at that, unable to keep quiet as he glared at the flashy idiot. “Don’t call me that, bastard or I’ll knock out your teeth! And you..”

He pointed to Asa. “I told you to quit it with that stupid ass name already!”

She only pouts at that though. “Whaaa? But it’s cute Chu Chu!”

Albrotss nods in agreement, enjoying the joke of making fun of him. “Yeah Chu Chu , it’s really cute! It offsets your grumpy personality!”

The ginger had enough though, stepping forward and pointing a finger at all of them. “Shut the hell up! It’s not cute, it’s fucking annoying! I swear if you say it one more time..”

Asagao then completely cuts him off, her voice giddy. “Oh! Speaking of which, I almost forgot, I have a surprise for you!”

Racing forward up to Chuuya, she then reaches into her pocket before smiling. “Lift out your arm Chu Chu! It will be worth it, I promise!”

He highly doubted that but he didn’t have much of a choice, lifting his arm up with a groan before Asa beams, taking something out and placing it around his wrist. “Ta Da! Do you love it? I made it special for you, to celebrate our new friendship!”

Chuuya then looks down to find a small handmade beaded bracelet on his wrist, the small white beads spelling out “CHUUYA” in black letters surrounded before smaller orange beads.

It was childish, like a kid’s craft on the first day of summer camp, definitely not something a mafioso should be wearing. Just what the hell was she thinking? Why did she make him something so dumb?

They weren’t even really friends.

Asa only seemed overjoyed though, bouncing on her heels with her eyes practically sparkling behind her glasses. “Well, do you love it, or do you really love it??”

Chuuya opened his mouth to tell her how stupid it was, only for Albatross to lean over with another barely suppressed snicker, enjoying this scene fully. “Aw, that's really cute Chu Chu ..”

Feeling his eye twitch at the nickname, the ginger hisses. “Shut up.”

Lippman can’t resist joining in either, glancing at the cutesy bracelet before whining. “What? No fair, where’s mine?”

Asagao only laughs though, clapping her hands together with excitement as she thinks of an idea. “Oh! I could make more if you want. I don’t mind. Then we could all have matching bracelets! Oh, that would be so fun! Like a real dream team!”

The Flags all glance at each other at that, smiling in amusement. This girl was something else, definitely way different than the usual kinds of people near the mafia. It’s like she didn’t have an evil bone in her entire body. How cute.

Tilting his head, Piano Man looks at her with amusement. You know, mafioso don’t wear friendship bracelets usually.”

Asa only shrugs though, clearly ignoring the unspoken rule of the mafia . “Aw, but why not? It could be like something to remember this job by.”

Lippman snorts at that, enjoying her innocent demeanor. “It's hard to argue with that logic.”

And it’s not just Lippman, it seemed everyone was getting a kick out of Asagao’s strange and overly excited way of looking at things, so much so that it made Chuuya groan internally and externally.

This girl, she really had everyone wrapped around her finger too easily. The way she smiled sweetly and pretended to be such a sweet innocent girl when Chuuya had seen her tear people apart and manipulate them with a flick of her wrist was absolutely infuriating.

If only they knew how much of a demon she actually was.

It pissed him off, all of his friends discrediting her as a sixteen year old kid when he could bet she was doing all this on purpose. He wouldn’t put it past her if she was perfectly crafting her responses for these guys to fawn over her.

Meanwhile, while the group is chatting, Albatross and Lippman stroll over to the assassin of the group, Iceman whos’ sitting in the corner observing the interaction, a lazy smile on Albatross’ lips.

The guy wasn’t the most social butterfly after all. Ever stoic. “Hey Iceman, come say hi to our new honorary Flag for the night. She’s a bundle of joy, huh?”

Lippman nods in agreement, focusing on his friends’ frown and downturned brows. “Yeah, quit glaring over there. You’re not being very welcoming.”

But that only made Iceman narrow his eyes even more, staring at the seemingly innocent red haired girl who was laughing with the rest of the group before speaking flat.“ I don’t like her.”

Lippman couldn’t help but raise an eye at that. He knew Iceman was wary of others given his profession but..this girl? She didn’t seem like the usual kinds of people the guy was skeptical of.

Tilting his head, the ladies man replies. “What do you mean? She’s adorable.”

Iceman is silent for a moment, just staring at Asa’s seemingly carefree expression before sighing and looking away. “I don’t know. She feels..off somehow. I don’t know how yet.”

And being an assassin Iceman was quite good at reading people and this girl, there was something more to her, he could tell. Perhaps it was in the way she smiled a bit too bright or how she disregarded the social norms of the mafia by gifting Chuuya a cutesy friendship bracelet but there was something..

Then, as if to prove his skepticism, Iceman watched from across the room as Asagao seemingly shifted her eyes from the conversation to the assassin for a split second, almost as if she noticed him staring at her before her lips curved into a small smirk for a millisecond and turning back around.

Almost like she was taking amusement in the fact he was wary of her.

Oh yeah, there was definitely something. Iceman was sure of it.

And he was determined to find out just what it exactly was.

Asagao then speaks up to the group, clapping her hands together in excitement for the night ahead of them. “So what kind of mission are we doing? I’m dying to know!”

Piano Man laughs at her enthusiasm, though he’s a little nervous about letting such a small girl join them on a dangerous job. “Well, someone’s been killing off our men and we have to figure out who. You think you’re up for it, kid? It’s not going to be easy.”

Asa doesn't seem bothered though, putting her arms up in a cheer. “Oh yeah! I’m totally in, I love a good mystery!”

Goraning in irritation, Chuuya then turns towards the door, eager to get rid of her as quickly as possible. “Let’s just get this over with, we're wasting time. Keep up or I’m leaving you behind, idiot.”

The Flags all beam at that, used to the boy’s behavior before then follow him out and towards the job as Asagao quickly pulls out her phone before scrolling through her contacts to find Dazai’s number and smile softly.

She knows she’s in dangerous territory, that she couldn’t let anyone find out she’s so close to the mafia but helping her friend came first.

But she had never had a friend before, no one could ever stomach her that long so the fact that Chuuya had offered her such a precious thing, she wasn’t going to take that for granted. She’d do anything to make him an executive and get him that file about his family.

Even if it meant going against everything her big brother ever wanted for her.

Besides, it was only for one night, one mission. Like a cinderella spell. Once the clock hit midnight she’d go back to being a normal girl again, not a bloodthirsty assassin.

What Samu didn’t know didn’t kill him, right?

She’d be back before he returned from his trip.

Then she sends him a small text before putting it back in her pocket in order to hurry up and catch up to the group.

Miss you, Samu. Come back soon.

*peeks around the corner* hey...hey ya'll, how you doing? *nervous laugh*

Long story short, my laptop broke and I haven't been able to update for the longest time rip. But I hope this chapter was worth the wait! 2024 was kinda a shit show to be honest but I'm hoping 2025 will be better. I aim to finish this story this year so fingers crossed! I'm not going to say I will upload more because every time I do something bad happens I will not say that *cries* but I really really really want to finish this, with all my heart! I will push past the A03 curse!

But eyyy! We have the chaotic Chuuya and Asa team up you've been waiting for! Poor girl just wants a friend but goes about it all wrong and Chuuya can't stand her. But I think she'll grow on him soon, whether he likes it or not! These next chatpters will feed into storm bringer and don't worry Dazai won't be away for long! We just need some Chuuya/Asa friendship first before he comes back

And Asagao knows it's dangerous for her to accept this mission but she truly is loyal to the people she cares about, and she relates to Chuuya's desperation to be an executive because while he can find out information about his family, she can't do that since her brother is dead.

I see every comment you all send me, every re-read and encouragement for me to keep going has pushed me through to upload for you guys. Thank you so much for the support I love you all. See you soon!

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