#oc Alexander Moran

[teenbasher]

I just made myself sad, realizing the only reason Augustus liked Alex better than Sebastian was because Alex was more submissive than his twin. He was a people pleaser & would do anything Augustus asked of him to gain his father’s approval & love with less convincing than Sebastian would. & made myself sad bc fuck, poor kid, his 6 yrs of life he probably spent in fear of disappointing or upsetting his domineering father & therefor he became a saint in his parents memory while Sebastian was viewed as a problem child, because he was more resistant to his father’s intimidation & very likely was the subject of abuse even before Alex died, because you know damn well, that kid took most If not all of the blame for any misbehaving Alex may have done, wether realizing it or not. Because Sebastian would do absolutely anything for his little brother, specially protect him from the terror their father inflicted on them, seeing how anxious and nervous Alex would get. 😭

[teenbasher]

fuck, y’all will never understand how badly I miss the twins. Like I know Alex doesn’t exist in canon & Seb doesn’t have a twin & if he does, people usually make Severin his twin. Who doesn’t actually exist either in canon, but feels way more real because of all of the thousands of people who head canoned him. & don’t get me wrong I LOVE Severin. But in my head obvs he is the responsible, respectable older brother who despite how much of a mess Sebastian may be, he doesn’t give up on his little brother & I love that for him.

Severin is Sebastian’s rock when he is at rock bottom & I like to think that it is because of Severin that Sebastian gets his act together (at least partially lol) & gets into the army after he gets cleaned from the drugs & eventually ends up to live into adulthood & meet Jim.

But the whole story of Alex & Seb being the bestest of friends and inseparable as twins tend to be. Having Alex be Seb’s first ever source of love, companionship, care & encouragement during the twins formative years & equally losing him in such a traumatic & heart breaking way, still during those formative years, to not only go on to be eaten up by guilt from his own, under developed child minded perspective & blame himself, but also be blamed & hated by his father for it the rest of childhood & see first hand how his mother fell apart because of it. is particularly poetically tragic that it makes me long for the sweet, fleeing moments of innocent childhood happiness the two had for the short years Alex was alive. & sometimes I like to imagine how nice it would have been for seb if his brother had grown up with him & maybe softened the harsh environment Sebastian grew up in, practically alone & abandoned since Severin was sent off to school shortly after the accident, having him being much older than the twins in my head canon.

dang. I meant to write this as a reflective pice about the twins relationship because I miss Alex but now I just made myself sad 🥲