#obviously they’ve done some of the work bc they’re not being weird about his gender expression

[blackkewpie]

not to expound upon the political implications of fandom every chance i get but noel gruber is revolutionary gay representation because he wants to be fucked up and evil and it is so disheartening to see transformative works where they act like his wants and personality are character flaws. roadblocks in the way of the most conventional and milquetoast gay romance story ever put to word document. which isn’t terrible but the fact of the matter is noel gruber exists to say not every gay person wants to be normal or wants to have a normal easy heteroimitative life. marlene dietrich was a bisexual woman who endured mountains of hardship on every level and did important things and made important art. jean genet was a writer and activist who lived on the fringes of society doing survival sex work for most of his youth. liberace was never *out* out and was torn apart relentlessly by tabloids about his life. these are the people he canonically admires, he wants to be a starving artist and live a fantastic, queer, risky life that offends and challenges the mainstream. not because he is too naive to want a normal quiet life, but because he was raised in the bosom of the most banal, sterile, conservative small town existence he could have possibly been in and knows for a fact he wants the complete opposite. queer assimilation to the heteronormative standards of life has been a powerful tool in our survival, yes, but the point of that is to survive to make a world where that isn’t necessary anymore. the ease straight white cis abled society offers is one that exists at the expense of those who do not fit it. that is why the girl is fucked up. in a perfect world she shouldn’t have to be any other way.

[iampikachuhearmeroar]

honest to god. to this day, the rudest thing that someone has EVER done to get my attention is rip my headphones out while i was minding my own business, doing work and Sad Emo Girl Vibing™️ to a sad emo song lmao.

so imagine you’re 16/17yo me in year 11 in 2012, at public school. you’re in the library during one of your various free periods doing your assignments and Sad Emo Girl Vibing™️ to the you me at six song fireworks (obvs not to be confused with firework by katy perry that was a mainstay on aussie pop hit charts back then). then some dude starts yelling at you “OI CHICK! OI CHICK WITH THE WEIRD NAME!!! OI BITCH WITH THE FUCKED UP NAME!!!” which in itself is already rude as all fuck, and cause for you to ignore. you go on about doing your shit. rolling your eyes at the absolute bullshit audacity of the idiot guy yelling at you. you know they’re referring to you since you’re the only other person in the library. but you pretend it isn’t you; and turn up your headphone volume on your ipod touch even louder in the vain hope that you can stop hearing him.

then. god. the sheer fucking audacity of this fool, nay, TOOL. he comes over. he aggressively rips out your headphones; and says: “HEY I WAS TALKING TO YOU. STOP BEING A STUCK UP FUCKIN BITCH. my friend milky (don’t ask me about the nickname i never found out what it was about- his name was mike) here wants to know if you’ll go to our formal with him. be fuckin’ nice and talk to him.” you shoot back “well, milky can fucking talk me himself.” his friend says back “wow you really are a bitch. what the fuck is your problem??” and storms off. michael/milky, on the other hand, apologises for his friend’s dickhead behaviour. but you still don’t want to talk to michael.

so, you put your headphones back in. you turn around to get back to work. absolutely seething with rage on the inside, that through that entire interaction that the asshole friend kept demanding you had to be NICE and to STOP BEING A BITCH. when if you had tried to do the same thing to him, he would’ve told you straight up to fuck off and called you stupid or whatever. no. you absolutely don’t have to be nice. bc on the first hand, he had already disrespected you (the whole “hey bitch with the fucked up name!” thing) . so what fucking grounds were there to be nice to him anyway???? absolutely fucking none. second of all. the insistence that you shouldn’t be angry at someone who had DELIBERATELY invaded your space to ask their dumbass question. which for everyone whose been following me for the intervening decade since this incident, knows the answer was an instant fucking resounding NO.

like yes. i know teenagers aren’t exactly the best with boundaries, consent and listening to others and whatever else. and hell, the concept of consent was never even fucking mentioned during my compulsory PDHPE lessons during my time at catholic school from 2008 to 2011/years 7-10. but my GOD. for any each and every one my younger followers, regardless of gender presentation etc you have EVERY FUCKING RIGHT to be the so called bitch in this situation. you have every fucking right to tell them to fuck off. you have every right to be abrasive, be offended, to be rude, to be protective of yourself in this situation. they’ve very obvs crossed over into your privacy without your consent. they obviously don’t give a single fuck about boundaries.

because having your headphones in should be (and defs was for me back at the catholic school i’d transferred from) a universal sign to be left the fuck alone and not to be fucking bothered by anyone. obvs many teenage boys (and even grown ass men, due to the endless stories you either see or read about it) deliberately choose to ignore this and claim that as a girl/woman, you’re being “stuck up” “rude”, “selfish” since you don’t want to listen to the 2 minutes of garbage (usually) that’s coming out of their mouth. but you’re not being conceited etc by standing up for your boundaries. standing up for your privacy.

especially for teen girls, you DO NOT have to be nice all the time and grin and bear this. much like i did, shoot them down and tell them that their friend should speak directly to you. you don’t fuck around with a tool of a dude like this, who deliberately ignored your boundaries. you do not have a “problem” if you don’t want to speak to the asshole who’s again deliberately made fun of you…. esp when you’ve probs spent most of high school thinking the classic tv cliche of “if he’s mean to you, it means he likes you” is a real, tangible thing. this guy obvs doesn’t like you, since he very obviously doesn’t respect or care about your boundaries (and kinda sorta neither does the guy who asked his friend to do this in the first place). you don’t have a problem if you want to be left the fuck alone to do your own work.

moreover, the other problem is the media spinning to men and teen boys that deliberately disregarding women’s boundaries is the norm. that a woman with headphones in has the sheer audacity to exist outside of a man’s desire to fuck her is selfish. or on the more “find a partner”- eg the how i met your mother ted moseby hopeless romantic-esque style side (im using himym here since it was still kinda popular back in 2012 and i was still watching it from time to time)…… women are something to be commandeered and won. but lo and behold, if the women in these scenarios still want to be left the fuck alone; they are demanding and petulant.

so then, as a woman, i must apparently expect men to continually overstep and disrespect or outright entirely disregard my boundaries in their constant supposedly “heroic” pursuit of love. and it’s also society looking down on women who demand to be spoken to directly, instead of through a rude ass mouth piece of a friend. bc to continue to run with the himym comparison, it’s like when barney stinson tries his godawful bullshit plays from his playbook to try to set himself and/or ted up with “hot” women. (which unfortunately teen me actually found hilarious in the in-show universe, but that’s an entirely different post).

and then these types of men always wonder why women these days are choosing to be single more often than not these days. we choose to be single because it’s far too draining when one side persistently treats you as narcissistic and shallow bc you want to exist as your own person with your own wants, needs and desires; very obviously outside of them. how dare i exist as a person outside of idek, zack or aaron or sawyer (a guy whose better known by his last name) or whatever other white guy name i can think of???? right??? the sheer insolence! unbelievable!

while conversely the other side treats you solely as a prize and achievement that should never have a voice (where’s those screenshotted tags about incels??? you know the ones) all because it means they’ve ticked YOU off the list of THEIR achievements (much like my stalker from years 11/12 who tried re-add me on fb a few months ago and i instantly blocked him), when maybe this was never for you.

it’s kinda like a fucked up mix of both ted (eg. having the dream fantasy woman of their lone wet dreams- and these men will term it as “settling for X” when they realise that no one can live up to their fucked up overly high standards when they’re not great themselves) & barney (eg. the fucked up list he kept as a bet of all the women he fucked to prove a point). and it sucks that these men are the ones that are left on the market. it’s easier to be single than deal with both sides this utter nonsense.

anyway i got off track. back to my original rant.

no. i don’t care if your friend is claiming to be too shy. he can approach me himself if you’re going to be an asshole. like yes. maybe i am brazen. maybe i am a bitch. maybe i am stubborn. maybe i am selfish. but i wear these descriptors with pride, to some extent. mostly in this situation. because these fools aren’t interrupting my Vibing Time™️ with my music back in the day. nor will they now. when if i had the audacity to do the same thing now, as a grown ass woman, to a guy, i’d instantly get told to fuck off and mind my own business and the like, like i said earlier. no i will not tolerate your rude ass comments about my name. because if i did the same thing to you, again, i’d instantly get called a cunt, more than likely (not that i care but anyway). and nowadays on dating apps, i’d go as far to say that some of the more domineering or insecure men would give threats of violence to me if i do so much as reject them; let alone tell them that their name is somehow perceived as “wrong.” but as a woman, i’m apparently meant to just take it as a joke???? as a mere fact of life that you think my existence is “fucked”. well matt. you’re fucked. get the fuck away from me.

now that im in my late 20s and veering ever faster to my 30s, i am NOT here to waste my fucking time debating whether or not you think that you’re being “funny” or “playfully rude”. or even more snidely and impertinently (eg. i should give you sex lessons in the back of my car guy in 2014), apparently “helping” me by “telling it like it is”. no you’re not helping me. you’re not “telling it like it is”. you’re a jackass. end of fucking story. goodbye. and i knew this at the time too. get the fuck out of my face and my dms.

anyway my point is. to my younger followers, please be insistently and unapologetically firm (or these people would obvs call it stubborn) with your boundaries. be firm in being left alone. and god. you deserve to courted/approached for these shitty ass high school events (ie year 12 formal/senior prom) with fucking courtesy, dignity and respect. not be told instantly that you’re a bitch bc some rude ass fool thought it’d be a great idea to insult you first and then launch into the classic “oh it’s not me. it’s my friend.” charades act. their friend should also approach you respectfully, on the same level. and have the balls not to act through a friend who says your name is “fucked” and then deliberately ignores the fact that you’re minding your own business…. all bc apparently his friends no date, no pussy life is more important than you having your own time to yourself. like let the guy have no pussy. let the guy go lonely and dateless to this event. because he’ll survive. (unfortunately).

anyway here’s a rant lmao.

[microsuedemouse]

man it has been a MINUTE since I made my own post about anything fandom-related on this website but @suzirya is blogging about The Old Guard and I haven’t seen anyone else talking about it really and I’ve got. some thoughts

I had literally never heard of this movie at all until a few nights ago when we were eating dinner in the living room and my dad pulled it up and said ‘hey I want to watch this’ and played the trailer for my brother and me. We were pretty much like yeah, sure, we all enjoy a good action flick, and aside from my other brother (who was occupied with D&D) it ended up being the whole family watching it. and I enjoyed it WAY more than I’d anticipated, especially for something I’d never heard about.

if you don’t know what I’m talking about: drop what you’re doing and go watch The Old Guard on Netflix. (it’s a Netflix original so yes it will be there.) it’s a very fun and good action film based on a series of graphic novels about a small group of immortals trying to do what’s right. there are many selling points but one of them is that it will be very good for your little gay soul, bc Charlize Theron stars (in a character with no explicitly-stated romances but lots of relationships that will make you Feel Things) and two of the other main characters are two men who met during the Crusades and are just amazingly in love with each other. And not in a vague way that the straights can interpret as Powerful Friendship. They are explicitly in love with each other and so devoted and ugh.

ANYWAY. putting the rest of my chattering under a cut bc spoilers and also I’m a wordy piece of shit

1 - early in this movie I was thinking about how glad I am that Charlize Theron has stepped into this role of like... cool female action star, but also, her characters are never super sexed up. almost any female characters I can think of in action movies, if they’re part of the action rather than victims/bystanders, are always made sexy. even when they’re Strong sexy, they’re still... a lot sometimes? I was thinking especially of some Angelina Jolie stuff, Scarlett Johanssen, etc. there are probably lots of exceptions to this that I just don’t know but still - we’ve had Theron in several roles like this recently, and appearance-wise she’s treated with the same respect as her male counterparts, which is so fucking cool and also such a fucking relief. we all love beautiful ladies, obviously, but it’s so SO good to see our female heroes just doing their jobs, without us ever being made aware of their sexuality.

and as the movie went on this was hitting me more and more, and I was also thinking it about... everyone? like. the other female lead, played by KiKi Layne, was arguably more feminine than Theron but not any more sexualised. even once she’s out of her army fatigues she’s dressed with practicality in mind, and again, we never have her female-ness pointed out to us. and I was so about every bit of that. both objectively and as a person whose relationship to female-ness and femininity is kind of weird, it’s such a good thing to see leading women whose gender and appearances and bodies aren’t being focussed on that way.

and as a sidebar to that, while I wouldn’t describe any of the prominent male characters as unattractive by any means, none of them were like... Marvel-actor hot. and I just, idk, especially in action/superhero movies, that’s refreshing to me. a lot of them looked like Regular Dudes in a way that I find very appealing.

2 - can we TALK about Joe and Nicky. holy shit. my brother and I kept leaning over to each other to be like ‘if anything happens to either of them I’ll riot.’ I MEAN.

we got a genuine, explicit, on-screen established romance between these men. it was not implied, it was not just how the actors played it in the hopes that people would catch on - it was right there. they hold each other to sleep, they kiss each other with such love, they talk to other characters about how much they adore each other. they met during the Crusades. they’ve been in love for centuries! and they’re so sweet, so devoted, so adoring! and they never have any arguments or tension to further the plot (one of my personal most-hated plot devices in any story with an established relationship). they just spend this movie loving each other, protecting each other and their weird little family, doing anything they can for each other. they’re taken prisoner and spend their time awake joking and making each other smile. and the one singular bit of casual homophobia they encounter on-screen is met with a declaration of love so heartfelt and intense that the guy who made the shitty comment literally doesn’t know what to say - which is a brief but extremely good scene in the movie, imo.

oh, also worth noting: this romance is biracial and interfaith (inasmuch as either of them may be men of faith after being alive for centuries). just to add to how good this is to see on-screen. all of this on top of them being IMMORTAL AND UNKILLABLE. NO GAYS BURIED HERE

2.5 - can I talk for a second about how goddamn much I love seeing non-hetero romance in genre fiction!!! I know it’s getting easier to find, but still. genre fiction is very much my domain and I love seeing queer romance there, especially when it’s simply an accepted fact and the characters’ queerness isn’t central to the story. narratives about queerness are good and important and serve a function but most of them aren’t really my thing, personally. a story that’s about all kinds of other things but also has queer characters there, being themselves, being in love, is so 1000% my shit.

3 - also? Charlize Theron’s character, Andy?? fascinating from a queer perspective. she doesn’t have any explicitly-stated romance with anyone, but her relationships with other characters are so compelling and so interesting. The backstory about her and another immortal, Quynh, very very distinctly gives you the impression that they were women in love. everything about Andy’s guilt and bitterness over not having been able to find/save Quynh feels so much like there was a romance there. it could have been platonic or familial - they were together, without anyone else, for centuries at least, and therefore obviously developed a very deep love - but the way Andy talks about Quynh it feels so much like there was something left unsaid, or unresolved.

also, her scene with the clerk in the pharmacy. oh my god. this woman clearly recognises that whatever is going on with Andy, something is wrong, and she offers her help, no questions asked. she takes her into the back room and patches up her wound. this scene has such an inherent intimacy because of the close quarters and the privacy and the act taking place, but... there’s also this really interesting connection happening between them, where they recognise something in one another but don’t state it. (personally, I couldn’t help wondering if the clerk was a domestic abuse survivor, maybe? but there are so many ways you could interpret her character from her behaviour and dialogue in that scene, and I’d love to see other people’s takes.)

and then on the other hand you have her relationship with Booker, who’s been with her the longest out of any of the living immortals. they’re incredible. their relationship is so, so interesting and well-depicted! they have such chemistry, that you can easily read as romantic or platonic. they’ve been together for so many hundreds of years and they work together, trust each other, with such a deep understanding and love and respect. and it never quite tips over into the romance you kind of think it will, which imo only makes it that much more compelling - there are so many directions you could take that dynamic.

4 - and then on the topic of Booker: I am SO into the way his betrayal was handled.

he did, undeniably, betray the others. there’s no argument on that fact. his motivations were understandable (and heartbreaking), even to Andy, though certainly not an excuse. so yes, they were furious with him. reasonably so! but... that didn’t actually break their relationships with him. they didn’t leave him behind in the lab, even if in some ways they might have wanted to. and in the ensuing battle, they were still able to work together and trust each other as they always have. the damage done to their larger relationship was put aside to be dealt with after all of this, as it should be. and even when they did deal with it, what they agreed on was just a century of exile from their group. given the lives they’re all living, that seems like such a mild sentence.

but to me, it makes so much sense. again, these people have lived for centuries, and there are so few of them. they need each other. the bonds they’ve formed over all this time together - the trust, the love, the sense of family - would not only be vital to both their survival and their sanity, but also incredibly difficult to truly break. what he did would seem unforgivable from an outside perspective, and even after that century passed I’m certain he’d have to earn back their trust and respect, but it makes absolute sense that they’d be willing to take him back one day.

god. GOD. I’m sure there’s more I could talk about but this is what I can think of right now and I’ve been typing for like forty minutes probably so I’m done for now but.

god.

this movie and its characters GOT ME, guys. I’m really in it. ugh UGH

[elijah-hwcng]

𝒾'𝓂 𝑔𝑜𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝓉𝑜 𝓉𝒽𝑒 ᴘʟᴀᴄᴇ 𝓉𝒽𝒶𝓉'𝓈 𝑔𝑒𝓉𝓉𝒾𝓃𝑔 ｃｌｅａｒｅｒ/𝕥𝕒𝕜𝕖 𝓂𝓎 𝐻𝒜𝒩𝒟𝒮 ɴᴏᴡ

╰ ☀ ✧ ˖ jeon jungkook. cismale. he/him ‖ 𝕚𝕥'𝕤 𝕟𝕠𝕥 𝕪𝕠𝕦𝕣 𝕗𝕒𝕦𝕝𝕥 (ɪᴛ ɪꜱ) ‖ have you seen elijah hwang at the beach recently? i remember them being so free-spirited, but they seemed a little neglectful today. it must be tough going through such hard times at only 22. even then, they still remind me of aerosol paint, over-sized hoodies, lipsticks stains on coffee mugs, and open upright pianos.

basics

name: elijah hwang

nicknames: ellie, lijah, el

age: 22

pronouns: he/him

sexuality: he prefers not to label it, but pansexual and demiromantic is probably the best description

tldr

he’s a sweet boy, doesn’t hurt people’s feelings intentionally, but he’s a little flirty, a bit of a heartbreaker. he’s great at turning on the charm but gets flustered very easily when it’s turned back on him.

has a twin brother, daniel. his bio (and their family background!) can be found here

growing up in the shadow of his twin, elijah often acts out rebelliously for attention (and maybe just to spite his perfect police officer brother a little bit)

despite that, he does care very deeply for daniel - after all, they came from the same egg or whatever - and isn’t great at expressing it, but daniel is probably the most important person in his life

tw: drug abuse, gang violence, death

got involved with the wrong crowd shortly after high school - the whole gang, drugs, ‘bad guy, duh’ kinda shebang. he was with this gang for years, getting quite the reputation and a lot of illegal money, tangled with the wrong kind of people and relationships

he traveled a lot, but when he heard daniel and his boyfriend had been jumped, it was a little too coincidental with the gang initiation he knew was happening in the same area - the very initiation he, himself, had approved of

he has never told daniel that he feels responsible for justin’s passing, but he was so filled with guilt that he has since left the gang, lost all his assets, and now works as a stripper to pay off his debts. he has never told daniel about the gang, but he says the debts are from drugs - which isn’t a total lie

(also he’s in a band and plays the keyboard)

bio

alright buckle up lads here comes the details

like i said, family history can be found in daniel’s bio (bc i’m lazy) but - since daniel was obviously their mother, stephanie’s, favourite, elijah often felt inferior and would act out for attention. i’m talking graffiti, being noisy in class, the whole shebang

his other mother, michelle, was obviously his favourite. equally doting to both her sons, elijah adores her and was often glued to her side as a kid. the only time he would obey the rules was when she asked him to listen - if stephanie asked, he would only rebel further

growing up, he and daniel were quite close, even if he did resent his brother for being - well - perfect - but how could he begrudge him for being successful?

elijah didn’t work hard in school - it wasn’t that he couldn’t get good grades, but more that he chose not to, getting grades only good enough that he could stay on the cheerleading squad

NOW LET’S LAY DOWN THE LAW. my mans might be cismale, but he LOVES pretty things. skirts, red lipstick, DANGLY EARRINGS? fam u got it. he loves that pretty shit. cheerleading squad made him wear pants for competitions n stuff but by senior year you know my boy is strutting the hallways in that little cheerleader skirt and pretty pink lipstick. call him a girl tho? he’ll punch u. or his twin will punch u. he’s a boy, thank you very much, and he doesn’t see why boys can’t enjoy pretty skirts and make up too without having to identify as a different gender.

he loves music and art - can play many instruments, and has played the piano since he was little. music and visual arts were the only subjects in school that he excelled in because he enjoyed it so much. he wanted to go to college and study them further, but his grades just weren’t high enough

so, fresh out of high school and not really knowing what to do with his life, elijah could see his brother figuring things out and heading off to the police academy while he... still didn’t know what to do

tw: drug abuse, gang violence, death

had a party phase, hitting up every club he could with his fake ID. it was only inevitable that soon enough he’d get into drugs and - well - with drugs and beautiful men and women, it wasn’t long before elijah found himself involved in a gang with heart eyes for a woman named melanie who showed him the ropes

his role was pretty standard - using his looks and charisma, he quickly became one of their best drug dealers, did a great job swindling thousands of dollars out of other gang leaders and sugar daddies and mommies alike

elijah wasn’t big in the violence side of things, more on the deception and drugs side of it, but he knew that the gang he was in had a lot of that going on. melanie assured him he wouldn’t have to ever kill anyone and she kept to that - although whether or not she did something like that wasn’t something he ever knew. the two of them traveled a lot together with the money he’d gain from their deals, and while they were never exclusive, it was potentially the closest thing to a real relationship he’d ever had

he was in italy when he got the news from daniel, and the timing was too coincidental with the report he’d received from the newest members of the gang. melanie told him he was overreacting - “that’s life, baby boy. your brother is just fine.” - and, seeing her so flippant about it, barely caring that his own brother had been attacked, it finally clicked that his rebellious thing had gone too far, and that this life wasn’t the one for him.

elijah took the first plane back to new york because he knew daniel needed him. the guilt was driving him insane - he knew it was his fault

cradling his broken brother to his chest, elijah made a vow to himself that he could never indirectly cause this to anybody else, but more importantly, that daniel could never, ever find out his involvement with the gang that took so much from him

for the sake of his brother, who he loves so much despite his struggles to show it, he decided to drop the gang, drop the drugs, and do his best to turn it all around

falling for melanie was both a blessing and a curse - if he hadn’t fallen, he probably wouldn’t have been so heavily involved in the gang, but because she had a soft spot for him, she managed to pull some strings and let him leave the gang alive

it cost him all of the illegal fortune he’d made over the years, however, and plunged him into a heavy debt to melanie, which is now why....

𝒴𝒜 𝐵𝒪𝐼 𝐼𝒮 𝐼𝒩 𝒯𝐻𝐸 𝒮𝒯𝑅𝐼𝒫𝒫𝐸𝑅 𝒮𝒬𝒰𝒜𝒟

since college still wasn’t an option, and now he had experience with using his looks and charisma to swindle money, elijah figured stripping wasn’t all too different

he knows his twin would give him the money if he told him he was in debt and in need of it, but to tell him, he’d have to admit of all the illegal activity he’d been involved in and admit to his role in justin’s passing - not to mention he knows daniel would have to throw him in jail if he knew that he’d been doing more a lot more than just drug dealing

instead, he tells his brother he strips because it’s fun and to get enough money to do an entrance exam and try out the whole college thing one day and that he has a slight debt from the drugs but he’s “almost done paying it”

as well as this, elijah is the keyboardist in the band killer nuns, and is happy to at least still be doing music

he still likes to wear pretty things, although he tends to prefer jeans these days, but will still wear pretty crop tops, dangly jewelery, and make up. if he feels like dressing up, out comes the silky skirts and dresses!

(and he still graffitis his art all over buildings illegally, but he knows his twin will bail him out every time)

wanted connections

first of all, if you made it this far, congrats! let’s get to business B)

roommate; ya boy is ,, broke . he can’t always meet the rent but he doesn’t mind paying your character back in less conventional ways. he would ask his twin for money, but he doesn’t want daniel to know he’s struggling financially (taken: isaac lee)

good influence; your character knows elijah is only rebellious because he feels attention-starved - with patience and affirmation, they remind him of his favourite mother and can often convince him to tone things down

partner-in-crime; this person is a free spirit, and the two of them get into all kinds of mischief, whether it’s spray painting a building or dabbling in those drugs he decided to leave behind (taken: isaac lee) (but -- would be open to ONE more partner in crime if u rly liked the sound of it uwu)

regular client; your character knows elijah is only flirty for the money, yet finds themselves coming back every time for another taste

tutor; look... my mans out here tryna get into college. he won’t admit it but he wants to make his brother proud. help a brutha out. tutor him so he doesn’t fail his entrance exams. pls. (taken: yeri song)

gym buddy; lmao a stripper gotta stay in shape somehow man

dress up buddy/platonic wifey; note: this is a connection specifically for a female character! there is ZERO sexual desire here despite the constant “when we’re 30, we’re gonna get married and make some babies” jokes and ocassional ass-grabbing. they’re comfortable af w each other. she helps him with his make up and they go shopping together and give each other cute little fashion shows in their new pretty clothes. she’s affectionately named ‘wifey’ in his contacts list and it’s not uncommon for elijah to give her a chaste kiss in greeting and say ‘honey, i’m home’. they’ve probaly considered hooking up before but figured things would be weird and that they’re better off as friends.

hook-ups; he’s demiromantic, so he’s not gonna get a crush easily, but  he likes sex and he likes pretty people so . have at him ;)

[gracelingdesolate]

Noctin and Konas for all of them ;D

A: Aptitude

1. what are your oc’s natural abilities, things they’ve been doing since young?Noctin: he’s smart and able to figure stuff out p quicklyKonas: determination, if he wants to do something he will do it

2. what activities have they participated in?Noctin: swordfighting, a little bit of how to dress upKonas: weapons training

3. what abilities do they have that they’ve worked for?Noctin: obviously his abilities, but more importantly being understandingKonas: his powers

4. what things are they bad at?Noctin: cookingKonas: swimming

5. what is their most impressive talent?Noctin: his quick thinkingKonas: fire powers

B: Basics

1. what is their hair color?black for both

2. what is their eye color?Noctin: brown, then silver and light blueKonas: red and purple

3. how tall are they?Noctin: 5′2Konas: 5′5

4. how old are they?Noctin: by the end he’s like 16/17Konas: not sure but i’ve been thinking about bumping him up a bit

5. how much do they weigh?Noctin: ~97lbsKonas: ~140lbs

C: Comfort

1. how do they sit in a chair?Noctin: likes to perch but will sit normally for the most partKonas: normal

2. in what position do they sleep?Noctin: fetal positionKonas: back

3. what is their ideal comfort day?Noctin: lazy hanging out with friendsKonas: baking the shit out of himself in the sun, friends are invited

4. what is their major comfort food? why?Noctin: his mom used to make this very good small sweet bread type thing and it’s the only sweet thing he’ll ever eat bc it reminds him of herKonas: meat bc it tastes the best

5. who is the best at comforting them when down?Noctin: anrenKonas: sarín

D: Decoration

1. how would they decorate a house if they had one under their name?Noctin: probably pretty empty tbh other than like the essentials, though he would have some decorative pieces aroundKonas: small house, not conventionally decorated, just stuff he finds neat

2. how would they decorate their child’s room?i have no idea they’re both still really young kjhgfgdkfj

3. how do they decorate their own room?Noctin: books just everywhereKonas: his room’s a damn mess

4. what type of clothes and accessories do they wear?both wear pretty practical clothing and all

5. do they like makeup/nail/beauty trends?Noctin: i can see him being interested in and wanting to try them outKonas: no he thinks they’re a waste of money

E: External Personality

1. does the way they do things portray their internal personality?Noctin: kinda?Konas: good god yes

2. do they do things that conform to the norm?Noctin: yeKonas: sometimes

3. do they follow trends or do their own thing?Noctin: follows trendsKonas: does his own thing 

4. are they up-to-date on the internet fads?no internet

5. do they portray their personality intentionally or let people figure it out on their own?both typically portray it intentionally

F: Fun

1. what do they do for fun?Noctin: readsKonas: mock fights with sarín

2. what is their ideal party?both of them would just want a quiet one with close friends/family

3. who would they have the most fun with?Noctin: he and mieron got into so much shit in the huntersKonas: sarín

4. can they have fun while conforming to rules?usually yes for both

5. do they go out a lot?nope for both

G: Gorgeous

1. what is their most attractive external feature?eyes for both

2. what is the most attractive part of their personality?Noctin: kindKonas: sweetheart

3. what benefits come with being their friend?both of them are very very protective of their friends

4. what parts of them do they like and dislike?Noctin: likes his hair, dislikes his eyes for a long timeKonas: likes his build and how strong he is, dislikes his scars

5. what parts of others do they envy?Noctin: brown eyes/being humanKonas: no scars

H: Heat

1. do they rather a hot or cold room?hot for both

2. do they prefer summer or winter?summer for both

3. do they like the snow?no snow in cierro

4. do they have a favorite summer activity?Noctin: swimmingKonas: sunbathing

5. do they have a favorite winter activity?if there was snowNoctin: sleddingKonas: bonfires with hot cocoa

I: In-the-closet

1. what is their sexuality?Noctin: biKonas: pan

2. have they ever questioned their sexuality?nope to both

3. have they ever questioned their gender?Noctin: yeKonas: no

4. would/was their family be okay with them being LGBT?yes for both

5. how long would/did it take for them to come out?Noct came out as trans when he was like really little and neither of them really hid their sexualities

J: Joy

1. what makes them happy?Noctin: peace and quietKonas: training with sarín

2. who makes them happy?Noctin: his friendsKonas: Sarín knows best how to make him happy

3. are there any songs that bring them joy?haven’t figured music out

4. are they happy often?Noctin: he used to be, and he tries to be moreKonas: he tries to be

5. what brings them the most joy in the world?Noctin: being with shiron, chito, and mikaKonas: being with sarín

K: Kill

1. have they ever thought about suicide?yes to both

2. have they ever thought about homicide?both have already killed

3. if they could kill anyone without punishment, would they? who?Noctin: HasceKonas: probably Dier since he’s the leader of the Hunters, tho Hasce later on too

4. who would miss them if they died?Noctin: depending on where in the story either not many people or a good handfulKonas: most of the desolates tbh

5. who would be happy they died, anyone?Noctin: Hasce wouldn’t be complaining, and after the reveal like most of the huntersKonas: a lot of hunters

L: Lemons

1. what is their favorite fruit?Noctin: orangesKonas: apples

2. what is their least favorite fruit?Noctin: cherries are too sweetKonas: oranges

3. are there any foods they hate?Noctin: sweet stuffKonas: fish

4. do they have any food intolerances?nope to both

5. what is their favorite food?Noctin: the sweet thing his mother used to makeKonas: meat sandwiches

M: Maternal

1. would they want a daughter or a son?i don’t think either of them would mind

2. how many children do they want?not sure since they’re both still young

3. would they be a good parent?hopefully

4. what would they name a son? what would they name a daughter?Noctin: if he had a daughter he’d name her Marie after his motherKonas: not sure

5. would they adopt?definitely for both

N: Never Have I Ever

1. what would they never do?Noctin: cut his hair super shortKonas: swim

2. what have they never done that they want to do?Noctin: Finish his medical trainingKonas: fix his fear of dogs

3. is there anything they absolutely can’t believe people do?Noctin: hurt other people intentionallyKonas: hurt kids

4. what is the most embarrassing thing they’ve done?Noctin: probably a training incident gone wrong tbhKonas: accidentally set Sarín on fire

5. have they done anything they thought they’d never do?Noctin: use his powers for playKonas: breathe fire

O: Optimism

1. are they optimistic or pessimistic?both are surprisingly optimistic

2. are they openly optimistic, throwing it on others?Noctin: noKonas: he’s forcefully optimistic for himself and sometimes it gets overbearing on others

3. are they good at giving advice?Noctin: yesKonas: you should take his advice with a grain of salt

4. is there anyone in their life that throws optimism on them?sarín for both

5. were they always optimistic?yes to both

P: Personality

1. what is their best personality trait?Noctin: kindnessKonas: determination

2. what is their worst personality trait?Noctin: quick to anger, little bit of a cowardKonas: can get very narrow minded

3. what of their personality do others love?Noctin: his friendliness before everything went to shit and then after all that people admired his tenacityKonas: he’s very sweet and affectionate once you get to know him

4. what of their personality do others envy?Noctin: he’s still a bit optimistic even after everythingKonas: his drive

5. do they hate anything about their personality/about other’s personalities?Noctin: he feels he’s very weak willed and he hates itKonas: he doesn’t like how short sighted/narrow minded he can get

Q: Questions

1. do they ask for help?Noctin: yes always except for just after he finds out he’s a desolateKonas: not usually if he asks for help it’s bc he really can’t do it

2. do they ask questions in class?yes to both

3. do they answer questions that make them a little uncomfortable?no to both

4. do they ask weird questions?Noctin: yesKonas: no

5. are they curious?yes but noct is definitely moreso

R: Rules

1. do they follow rules?yes to both

2. would they be a strict or laid-back parent?i think both would be more on the strict side

3. have they ever been consequenced for breaking a rule?yes to both, though noct definitely had to deal with worse consequences

4. have they broken any rules they now regret breaking?yes to both

5. do they find any rules they/others follow absolutely ridiculous?yes to both

S: Streets

1. are they street-smart?yes to both

2. would they give money to someone on the streets?noctin would have when he was younger but now it’s no from both

3. have they ever gotten in a fight on the streets?yes to both

4. has anything happened to them on the streets?yes to both

5. are they cautious when out?they both have to be

T: Truth

1. are they honest?Noctin: sometimesKonas: pretty much always

2. can they tell if someone is lying?Noctin: sometimesKonas: usually

3. is it obvious when they’re lying?Noctin: yesKonas: he p much tells the truth so when he lies most people just take it as the truth

4. have they lied about anything they regret lying about?Noctin: oh yea definitelyKonas: yeah he used to lie about how he was doing back when he was recovering and it would make his friends really worried and he feels bad about it so now he tries to tell the truth about how he’s doing physically

5. have they told truths that have been spread against their will?Noctin: we wouldn’t have a story otherwise KJHGJFKonas: yeah

U: Underdog

1. have they been bullied?Noctin: yes lotsKonas: not really

2. have they bullied anyone?Noctin: yeKonas: nobody that didn’t deserve it

3. have they been physically attacked by a bully?Noctin: yesKonas: god no nobody’s that dumb

4. have they ever been doubted?Noctin: constantlyKonas: yes

5. have they surprised people with being good at something?Noctin: people don’t expect him to be good at singingKonas: 

V: Vomit

1. do they vomit often?no for both

2. do they get lots of stomach aches?no for both

3. are they good at comforting someone ill?noct is, konas will just be like “damn that sucks”

4. what do they like as far as comfort goes?Noctin: 6580789505845984659685396856 blanketsKonas: quiet

5. do they burp, cough, or hiccup most when nauseous? when vomiting?what the fuckcough??

W: Water

1. do they drink enough water?both try to

2. have they learned to swim?Noctin: yesKonas: no

3. do they like to swim?Noctin: yeKonas: he will literally drown so no

4. can they dive?Noctin: yes but he’s not very good at itKonas: he can sink

5. can they swim without holding their nose?Noctin: yesKonas: noooooooooooo

X: Xylophone

1. what is their favorite genre of music?2. do they have a favorite song?3. do they have a favorite band/artist/singer?i don’t have music figured out

4. can they sing well?Noctin: y e sKonas: ehhhh maybe?

5. can they rap?both could if they wanted to

Y: You

1. how old were you when you created them?Noctin: 14 I think?Konas: 15 or 16

2. what inspired you to create them?Noctin: Graceling!Konas: TPH actually bc it made me realize if noct didn’t have more friends in his world he wasn’t going to make it and also writing sad shit 24/7 is boring if there’s no happiness

3. were they different when they were first created?Noctin: oh god yes he was an adult and the hunters didn’t exist so he was a bounty hunter or something it was wildKonas: not really? he’s gotten more fleshed out but other than that he hasn’t changed much

4. do you enjoy writing them more than other characters?Noctin: depends but usually yeKonas: i’ve enjoyed writing him more as i’ve fleshed him out more and given him like Actual Emotions

5. what’s your favorite thing about them?Noctin: he’s very kind hearted and i’m very happy when it starts to come back out after all the crap that happensKonas: his drive like oh my god he will do anything he sets his mind to i wish i had even an ounce of it

Z: Zebra

1. what’s their favorite animal?Noctin: horsesKonas: borudas

2. do they like animals?Noctin: not particularlyKonas: ye

3. cats or dogs?cats for both

4. what’s their dream pet?Noctin: horseKonas: something cuddly

5. do they have any pets at the moment?nope for both

[isroselalondebisexual]

What do you think Rose Egbert would be like? :0 And Dave Harley, John Lalonde, and Jade Strider

Rose Egbert, raised in a supportive, loving home environment, would probably still be fighty and punchy because I don’t think there’s a single parent in existence that could ever change that about her, but she’s also very likely going to be more inclined to wait until being PROMPTED before she lets loose her floods of salt and snark. So like, a pretty regular girl on first impressions, definitely deeply entrenched in her Hot Topic mall goth phase, wears chokers from Spencers and whatnot, but pretty friendly at face value and in all the advanced literature courses, has been in every psychology class the public education system offers. On the debate team. And so you’re like, cool, she’s on debate, that should be fun, she’s pretty well composed as a person I bet she has some good thoughts. And then you attend one of the debate matches. And you see a side of Rose Egbert you never knew existed and holy hot DAMN you’re not sure if you’re terrified or in love with her. Possibly both. Probably both. She’s quick witted alright, devastatingly intelligent and in this to WIN. Dad Egbert has all of her debate trophies (medals? I wasn’t in debate idk how these things work) displayed as proudly as he displayed his clown statues in the canon timeline. Her role as a Seer of Breath is to best free the timeline and her friendgroup from the clutches of the Literally-A-Demon Lord of Time, who seeks to enslave them, their timeline, and the universe to his whims, to become his playthings. Her role is to forsee the best route, not in terms of luck, but as a specific, pointed fuck you to Doc Scratch, Lord English, and everything associated with them. That part in canon where Rose is talking to Doc and he’s like “do you even still have that emotion?” or whatever and she’s like “Why, yes, it seems it’s all been mysteriously relocated to my middle finger. The dark magics are at it again.” Like that but times a thousand she is SMART she has FORESIGHT and she is going to FREE THEIR TIMELINE, BITCH.

Dave Harley grew up alone on an island with a magic dog and some weird chess folk, so first of all he doesn’t know what a gender is so jot that down, second of all what do you mean boys don’t like boys? Obviously boys like boys, he likes boys, u r foolish, u silly human culture you. So uh, you know how Dave is like, this huge massive attention whore in canon and he starts out “I’m so cool are you noticing me being cool and not caring over here”? Yeah no, immediately bypasses that, this boy wants ATTENTION so TALK TO HIM DAMMIT. His only real guide for physical touch has been a dog and some people who are not human so Personal Space Whomst? Dave is here, he is in your personal space, you are paying attention to him bitches. His collection of weird dead shit is even weirder, given that it is a Harley tradition to taxidermy weird shit and also he lives out on an island now. Probably takes the PRETTIEST photos of like, the island views and stuff, which he naturally posts online and gets a lot of likes and reblogs for which, good, give him that sweet sweet validation. His selfies are everywhere. Go like them. His role as the Knight of Space would be a pretty important one, he’s upholding the balance of the universe and breeding the new one and stuff, which basically just means he’s the weird frog dad now. You see all those frogs? Those are his babies. He loves them. Smorch. Dave ew don’t kiss frogs that’s gross. Dave does not care, Dave is gonna smooch those frogs bc he loves them and all their mutant little paradox offspring. Dave the frog whisperer. Whenever Karkat’s getting screechy he just like. Takes one out of his sylladex or his hood or pocket or SOMEWHERE and sets it delicately down in front of Karkat when he’s not looking and Karkat proceeds to screech and flip out and Dave laughs at him. This Dave is likely a lot more carefree, but doesn’t have a good grasp of concepts like “responsibility” or “giving people space.” A good and goofy kid, with some nice tasty abandonment issues probably thrown into the mix there somewhere. He doesn’t wanna be alone again.

John Lalonde very likely has a very bad grasp of what consequences are. If he breaks shit, they can just buy a new one, if he pranks someone a little too mean or says something that goes a little too far, his mom is easy to forgive him. My dear sweet ADHD child probably didn’t do too good in school and did a lot of class clowning tomfoolery but Mom Lalonde didn’t discipline him for it at home so threats of “I will call your mother if you don’t settle down” didn’t have much of an effect on him. He’s a good kid! Friendly and loving and affectionate, but if he fucks up he doesn’t take responsibility for it and pulls the “it was just a joke!” card way too frequently and doesn’t know how to actually apologize or fix his mistakes. But even though he’s very outwardly childish, he’s also surprisingly mature for his age, by way of like, opinions and stuff? Like he’ll say stuff and it’ll seem totally left field for him cause John you’re like, the funny dude of our group, but he’s also the one who knows how to disinfect wounds and the RIDICULOUS importance of making sure your older sibling knows who their DD is when they’re off drinking with their friends and while he doesn’t have an emotional reaction to traumatic events right off the bat (like in canon) he does do a VERY good job of responding pragmatically to them, and that’s kind of a result of yeah, his mom’s his buddy, and yeah, she lets him get away with anything, but no, John doesn’t really get the chance to be a kid ALL the time, and in part he acts out like this because he’s frustrated that he CAN’T fully be a kid, so he’s overcompensating. His role as the Heir of Light would be as somebody who embodies luck and intellect, which he doesn’t really feel like he can do. He’s not smart, right? He’s never done well in school. But he has really high emotional intelligence, and he’s got street smarts no 13 year old has any business having, and he eventually comes to realize that he is lucky. He’s very lucky. He’s got good friends who love him and who he loves, a strong team who can conquer the world, the universe, even a demon with the strength of a green sun, and when John comes to appreciate consequences and ramifications of their actions, he would be better able to understand how to use his powers to become the luckiest little shit in the universe, and could look death in the face with confidence because he understands, now, he’s realized some things, some the easy way and some lessons were painfully hard, but he’s confident in what he’s doing and he’s got his friends at his back.

Jade Strider, I hate to say it, but I think she would end up a very meek individual. Very, very hypervigilant, aware of everyone’s mood around her and this HUGE people pleaser, because as far as she’s concerned “not actively pleased” might as well be utterly synonymous to “actively displeased.” Life is uncertain to her, she’s very diligent about reading the moods of others and making them happy. Everyone loves her and think she’s just absolutely the best, she’s always ready to listen, always eager to cheer her friends up when they’re feeling down, doesn’t say jack SHIT about herself. If people ask she straight up lies. She does NOT talk about her own problems, even worse than in canon. She is happy go lucky and pleasant to be around, see? She’s doing great. Don’t worry about her! Oh do you need to talk about something? She’s got hair-trigger reflexes and does NOT react well to sudden loud noises or jumpscares. She’s very forgiving, because it’s only natural that sometimes her friends will hurt her feelings, right? That’s what love looks like. Some things just can’t be prevented, so why bother. Lotta learned helplessness kinda shit going down. Very reactive to positive feedback and physical affection (as long as she sees it coming) but has no idea how to go about asking for it. She’s very popular at her school for being pretty and cool and badass and friendly all tied up into one but her friendships are very shallow with her school friends, because if she cannot open up about herself, what room is there for emotional intimacy? As a Witch of Time, her main thing that needs to happen is she needs to get fed up. She needs to get pissed off. She doesn’t deserve this shit! She’s thirteen! She doesn’t deserve a parent who didn’t love her, she doesn’t deserve to have the weight of the timeline on her shoulders, she doesn’t deserve to see her own corpse over and over and fucking OVER again! This isn’t fair, this isn’t right, she doesn’t FUCKING want this, fuck her Bro fuck the Game fuck keeping quiet she’s a KID and she’s HURTING and she will be fucking UPSET about it! And then she’s gotta let John, and Rose, and Dave hold her and tell her she’s right, she’s so right, she is absolutely entitled to her anger, she’s allowed to feel angry about this, she’s gonna be okay though, they’re there, they love her and they’re not gonna let anyone hurt her ever again, she’s allowed to feel hellfire down deep to her bones but then, most importantly, she needs to let her friends help her, she needs to trust them, and learn how trusting works, learn what love looks like and how all her little broken pieces fit back together. And no, she’s never gonna fully recover from that. She knows she’s gonna be a compulsive liar down to her dying day and she’s never going to be able to trust openly like some people do, but she’s got people who love her and who she loves dearly, and she’s going to be okay, and every day it gets a little easier. Some days are bad, yeah, some days she’s angry over stuff she thought she got over years ago, but at the end of the Game, after all has been ripped asunder and they’ve moved into their new lives on Earth C, she is allowed to recover and to rest and sure it’s not always easy, but she’s always trying, and things are better now.

[cow3survivor]

Ep. 13: “I Need To Make Moves Here And This Is A Big One” - Mikey

JENNET

guilt tripping everybody that voted out sammy bc that was such a weird move and shows how weak everyone really is. idk it made 0 difference to me, i honestly could care less about this round. if i get immunity, mikey is playing the idol on himself if he gets immunity im getting the idol so it really does not matter

JESSICA

Woo the plan worked and Sammy is gone! He seemed sad because he said he wanted to stick with me but his actions didn't really align with that. My goal is still to get Jennet and Jones out. I feel bad because Jennet is now in a position where they’ve been targeted every round of merge and a lot of that is for little to no reason. I don't really know why Lovelis tried to vote for them, or why their name came up when Daisy left, and the round Sam went home I only said their name to try and protect Lindsay. And last round their name was a decoy.... but still! They have been through a lot and I feel bad. But unfortunately because of this, they are definitely winning if they make the end. They haven’t betrayed a lot of the jury, they now have this great underdog story if they make it, and their whole game is about loyalty and honesty and all that stuff betrayed jurors jut love to vote for. Which I will say.......... it's easy to be loyal and honest when you don't align or overly strategize with half the team. It also leaves you super vulnerable to being a target sooooo I feel bad but I also feel like that's the reality of blocking yourself off to so many people. Since Sam is sadly gone, my new ideal final 5 is Lindsay, Shane, Mikey, and Jake. That will get awkward because I feel like it'll fall into 2 vs 2 and they'll all expect me to stick with them. That would be the downside to my strategy of "align with everyone and make everyone feel like you're their option" buuuut I think I'm saved by the fact that asides Jennet, I feel I can beat everyone left at the end. I don't think it's a guarantee; I'll definitely have to do a good FTC. But Shane and Lindsay have really bad social games -- Shane fights with everyone and betrays close allies for no reason and Lindsay apparently doesn't even talk to half the people left. Yesterday, Jake and Mikey both said they thought Shane would win at the end because "he's made so many moves!!!" which is ummmm not very feminist because I think everyone credits him with doing a lot more in the Daisy vote than he actually did. I feel very much like the Natalie White of this season because my relationships are really what is holding everything together. I just have to be careful that people don't see me as keeping Shane around when he's an obvious threat because that could definitely damage my chances of winning. However.... there is something that could upset that f5 and that is if this round, Jones/Mikey/Jake/Jennet all want to vote out Shane or Lindsay (again). I'm not actually that opposed to this happening because it would be very useful for me to have a close ally on jury to tell them what I did. It would also mean I don't really have to "decide" who to pick at f5 but I would still be relatively protected. However I also worry that if Jennet gets through even one more round, Mikey, Jones, and maybe even Jake will just refuse to vote them out like they did before. Mikey admitted to me he knows Jennet will win at the end but if he feels like he has no shot, he might just keep them around because they're close and that is not a great sign for me! I guess we'll see what happens with immunity. Also go me for being the last person left with no votes against them :~)

JENNET

something about a white man yelling over me last night when it was my turn to speak doesnt sit right with me... i dont want to make it a race thing or a “gender” thing but .... idk its kinda taken me out of the game i dont even feel like campaigning to stay tbh...

(a little later)

soon as shane won immunity here go jessica pming me saying she hates that he won... pls that is ur ally u love the fact that he won... just admit it tired of these people playing in my face but i dont wanna play into that role that i know i fall into fairly quick

(after taking a beach stroll)

this may be my last week i fear 🕴🏾

(after taking the camera and running into the woods)

jess must think im a fool every round she “leaks” info to me and then she does the complete opposite of what she says she will. im sorry its pathetic at least this round she told me shes voting me pero its like now shes asking me if i have any alternatives that i can convince her into doing and im like... girl its one of my allies and like 5 of urs left dont play me like im some dummy .... so that u can tell them im pushing for them and give more reason for them to want me out? she not getting my jury vote for sure

SHANE

https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1-4Q_LE3wnSM_Pi3HAmSvuoCVrNzX_dTn

LINDSAY

jennet is the target. if they have an idol i will probably go home. i have crippling anxiety 🤩 im sorry thisbis so short there's not much to report on. there was a miscommunication between everyone that mikey caused but nothing rly came of it. im just you know how sometimes when youre abt to fall bur you catch yourself your stomach does thise little flips? thats me for the past hour. i have a bad feeling abt this, but i also have crippling anxiety so shocker

JESSICA

me yesterday: If Lindsay or Shane got 7th, I wouldn't be sad! me now: ummmmmmmmm no stop being silly Anyways we are all voting Jennet as of right now. I told Mikey that we were splitting votes on him and Jennet potentially (so that I could get Mikey to vote Jennet, meaning Shane or Lindsay could throw 1 vote on Mikey in the event of an idol) but then Mikey went and told everyone I said that??? Which was a weird move, I don't know if he was hoping it would blow up on me but I just admitted to everyone what my strategy was. Now it seems like they just don't trust Mikey. Which is useful for next round, if I can make it there. I also told Shane and Jake that Mikey asked me if they were threats and I'd said yes. I told Shane and Jake this so that in the event Mikey went to them, they'd already have a heads up and wouldn't be suspicious (because Mikey leaks almost everything and I felt like that would definitely happen). I also accidentally implied to Jake that Shane was targeting him?? Not really sure how that happened but there was this weird temporary blowup where Jake went to Mikey and Shane and said he heard they were saying his name. Obviously I was NOT excited for this because I was worried it would come back against me instantly so I tried to smooth things over with Shane and Jake + told Mikey it's not cute to leak info! I'm hoping that the three of them are pointing their daggers at each other and haven't turned on me but it was definitely scary for a minute. I also told Mikey Shane originally wanted Jake to go when Daisy left AND that I thought Shane/Lindsay would vote Jake out next. I can explain both of these away pretty easily to Jake (1. That vote was a long time ago and he only wanted to do it because Jake was saying Lindsay and 2. I was just saying they'd vote him out next to make Mikey comfortable) but he isn't online to give me the chance to do it and I don't want to bombard him with messages. But here's where I am 2 hours before we vote...... I'm ultra paranoid Jennet has an idol. And she knows she's going tonight. Everyone was like "don't tell her she's leaving!" and I was like???? She knows?? I'm not wasting her time pretending like I'm not considering voting for her. So now....... should me, Shane, Lindsay just vote out Mikey (or Jake?) instead? I'm hesitant to bring this plan up to anyone for a few reasons: - None of these people can keep a damn secret!! - If we flip and Mikey does vote Jennet (and there's no idol), it will be 3-3-1. Really not liking that - I don't thiiiiink Jennet would idol me out if they were to idol anyone. I'm afraid to bet on this too heavily but I really, reaaaaally hope because I'm being honest with them this round, they would see me as someone who would maybe work with them at f6/f5 (as opposed to Jake, who has lied to them and Jones who flipped last round, and Lindsay who she says she wants out). I originally!!! Thought that Mikey would never vote for me but I'm honestly not sure after today - Jake is completely MIA today, same with Jones. Jake SHOULD trust me since I've warned him whenever I've heard his name but I'm worried after the shenanigans of earlier + him not responding that he's now sketched out by me - I don't want Jennet in the f6 (sorry Jennet!) because I think if we lie to the others about who we vote, they are more likely to go to rocks for them if we vote them next time. Like right now, Mikey is not going to a rock for Jake (or vice versa) but I think both would do it for Jennet if they felt they were their only path to the end. If people go to rocks for Jennet like we might as well all pack it in now and let them win because that just shows!! How good their relationships are. The reason I'd want to switch the plan is because if Jennet has an idol,  they are absolutely playing it tonight. If they don’t have it, they don’t have it, but that means Jake or Mikey could. So like.... why not do a fake out and have a higher chance of getting the merge idol out of here? Plus if Jennet doesn't play it tonight, we can vote them tomorrow with much more ease. I'm worried people are too aware that I'm really moving things behind the scenes and are going to come for me this round. Here's where I'm hoping my strategy of be everyone's BFF / an option for everyone will help me out -- Lindsay is a bigger threat than me and has done a lot less of that work so in the event Jake and Jones DO decide to turn..... I think they'd vote for her over me. But that's not really ideal because going into a F6 with only 2/3 of my end game trio is not the look! Despite what I delusion-ly thought yesterday!

JONES

fukjlkjdsflakjsdalfskdfja i have a rlly bad gut feeling i'm going home bc its like ,, , too quiet and too straight forward, i think jessica should be going this round ? either she'll be idoled out or voted out 4-3 ya feel,, i'm just ,, my stomach hurts i need jessica to get voted out she's like ,, my only competitor in terms of gameplay style >? ya feel ? i'm not excited for whatever happens after tribal,, so maybe i throw up, maybe i get voted out , either way i'm free

JAKE

Yeah so that last move was a mistake lmaooo I thought Mikey and Jennet were tighter with Sammy than they actually were ���� so now I’m just trying to regroup from that. Seems like Jennet is the target but I feel terrible voting her out so I’m sort of at a loss. I also don’t want Mikey to be left out again so just trying to figure out what’s best for me eek 🥺

MIKEY

OK SO. Me Jake and Jennet are voting jessica, jones is voting jennet and Im gonna play my idol on jennet. I need to make moves here and this is a big one. Sorry JESSICA!

[transandcrs]