#obviously i'm grateful that anyone reads anything i write aggdhfh it's very nice to be heard
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I think I'm struggling creatively because as time goes on I find less and less motivation to write (and read, tbh!) stuff that's
good wholesome queer representation
escapist everything-gets-better fantasy ("because life is hard enough why would you write about miserable things")
palatable to people who disagree with me
And obviously I'm nowhere near finishing even a single original thing yet ahdfhajf but I've been looking at publishing videos that people who have experience in the industry have made and. Man no wonder that so much milquetoast stuff gets put out nowadays
#not to be a hater and controversial but#the fact that its often straight people judging whether queer representation has problematic elements (and similar situations)#and lots of queer media seems to be made with straight people in mind (at least as a considerable portion of the audience)#and ugh in general/unrelated like. i just want to write litfic about the human condition XDD and structural inequality#but if i do it with fanfic nobody will read it because my most popular fics will always be ones where white men kiss each other for 3k word#obviously i'm grateful that anyone reads anything i write aggdhfh it's very nice to be heard#but fr my most popular fics are NOT my best ones#and yeah like if i write original fiction it's unlikely to do well in publishing because there's no hot sexy straight romance or wholesome#soft high school good representation queer people:3#maybe i can put in a red herring twink guy idk#also i'm just so bitter about linguistic inequality still XDD like. in a video abt fantasy tropes the person making the video hates they#said that they hate 'overly long fantasy names' that they can't pronounce#which just made me go 'silence anglo' mentally because omfg super often those names are just BASED ON CULTURES YOU'RE NOT PART OF#(disclaimer i know not all english speakers are ignorant hahfjsdhjfj)#but yeah its funny when old english inspired names are too hard for modern english speakers like welcome to being anyone else lol#its somehow considered a minimum requirement of knowledge to be able to pronounce names like george and matthew correctly#but then for other languages it's a special courtesy if people say names right#afujishgfis and this is just one example#rant#writing#literature
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