#obviously i cant take any credit for those though

[reco-obsessed]

okay, i think its finally time to post my whiteboard drawings- the reko ones at least, theres a ton more, so if theres something you thought i mightve drawn and its not on here thats why. apologies in advance for how i drew shin, i didnt bother looking up a reference and he got kinda skrunkled

[huang-er-jiejie]

i have so many theories and just observations in general about good omens 2 i physically cannot keep them in my head so here they are

also these are very unorganized because i got them straight out of my notes app😭😭😭

crowley putting his sunglasses back on inside the bookshop for the first time in the season when he's about to leave after aziraphale asks him to go to heaven with him. that being him hiding his eyes so prevent aziraphale from seeing him cry but also symbolizing him putting a barrier back up between them for the first time in millennia

aziraphale saying "i'm big on forgiveness" foreshadowing the "i forgive you." after the kiss.

the "i forgive you line" also being a parallel to the same line in season one when crowley offers to run off to alpha centauri

the "dont bother." after aziraphale says i forgive you makes it feel so final, like he knows and accepts that he is beyond saving and there is no need for forgiveness. also her line in season 1 where he says "unforgivable, thats what i am."

nina and maggie are just a complete mirror of crowley and aziraphale, nina not being able to date maggie right away given shes just broken up with her abusive ex lindsay. and aziraphale not being able to be with crowley because hes healing from the trauma from heaven and he believes he can still fix heaven when you cant, you really cant. heaven is like a toxic ex she stays with because she thinks she can make it work and crowley is the obviously better and sound and caring option hes not ready for.

crowley having a nightingale sang in berkeley square ready to play in the bentley because he planned to play it while he and aziraphale were on the way to the ritz :(((

the way aziraphales face changes in the end credits you can literally see her rationalizing her decision; he starts smiling then going back to frowning, shes thinking of all the potential good she could do but at the same time it hurts her so much to leave.

beelzebub probably just wanted to find gabriel before heaven does so they can take care of him and run away with him maybe in peace without heaven's intervention 😭

crowley standing outside his car, waiting and hoping to see if aziraphale would come back or at least try to chase after him.

aziraphale seems like he looks out the window probably to where crowley is stood after the metatron asks if theres anything else he needs to bring. because he wanted to bring him, she wanted them to be together. but i also feel like for even at least a second when he looks outside, he wants to say no and stay.

this seems obvious but s1 is the creation, 2 the resurrection, and 3 is the second coming/ the judgement of the living and the dead

crowley isnt gonna make the first move again in s3 like,,, aziraphales gonna have to make the moves this time around and theres a chance that a part of crowley might not even think shes being genuine. shes bound to have doubts after what just happened. after being rejected all those times theres at least a part of him that thinks aziraphale doesnt love him, at least not in the way she loves him,,

i love the coffee theory because something is absolutely not right about aziraphale in the following scenes, and somethings not right with the metatron. him changing the phrasing of the amount of almond syrup in the coffee. the fact aziraphale NEVER drinks coffee, only ever tea and wine. cyanide being known to taste like almonds, and seeing what laudanum could do who know what different poisons could. the faint miracle sound effect when the metatron hands it over. and aziraphale being hesitant to take it but the metatron insisting. the smile he makes in the elevator is not at all like any smiles she's done before, it doesn't look like the smile he does when he fakes it, and doesn't look genuine or uncomfortable. it just looks so forced.

the coffee theory is kind of reductive though? like saying that the coffee was the sole reason aziraphale chose heaven, when it isn't. the coffee must have some sort of involvement because of the amount of focus put on a regular cup of coffee, but. i don't think a full on brainwashing thing. just sort of a push in the direction the metatron wants. but the rest? that was all aziraphale and his deep rooted religious trauma.

thats all i got for now so thanks for reading!!

[demoisverysexy]

So right now on twitter a bunch of Tankies are trying to argue that Project 2025 isnt that bad because democrats are themselves trying to make it happen, or that it will happen during a democrat controlled government as easily as it will during a republican controlled government. And listen, never let me be the one to argue that democrats are super duper effective (though they are more effective than people give them credit for, they just suck at messaging and are too arrogant to pursue populism), but seeing this has made me wonder what tankies are even on right now. What delusional fantasy world are they living in.

And then I saw this post from a twitter tankie that made me realize something: its not just that theyre delusional. Theyre pro fascist.

So let's break this down, shall we?

First, this post is playing into leftists (rightful, correct) hatred of the US. Any leftism worth its salt should at least challenge the United States as an institution, and work towards its eradication as a state in the long run (and the eradication of all states, obviously). But this is not a unique trait to leftists: fascists also hate the US. How else would you explain their slogans (Make America Great Again) or the actions they take when they have power (dismantling the regulatory state, persecuting minorities, eliminating secular governance and education, "patriotic education"). Their goal is to destroy the US as well, but to the fascist, liberalism as a whole must be eradicated, including the parts leftists agree with.

This raises the question, then, of why someone who claims to be a leftist would argue that either liberalism is the same as fascism, or worse than fascism, and that rather than helping liberals fight fascists, leftists should just let liberals lose to fascists.

Those are the tactics of a fascist! First, to argue that the crimes of liberalism are the same as or worse than the crimes of fascism (something that is provably false), and therefore, it doesnt matter whether fascists have control, because dont you hate the US anyway? And if you help liberals youre fighting against your own interests anyhow.

In order to argue this, you would have to ignore the ways in which leftists are unprepared for the collapse of the US. You have to ignore the many people who would be hurt by the collapse of the US (minorities, of course). And, I think, you either have to not care about progressive ideals outside of wanting the US to fall, or maybe only care about economic progressivism. Though given that they are arguing against fighting republican fascists, I think they dont even care about that either. In my opinion, ai think that tankies on some level believe that republican fascism is closer to what they want than liberal democracy.

I think its high time the left ended its love affair with tankies. Sure, it was fun while it lasted, we had fun with the soviet aesthetics and all that jazz, but its time lefties recognize that tankies dont share their goals, and cant recognize that even a flawed liberal democracy puts them in a better position to achieve their goals of ending capitalism than red fascism ever will.

[lunatic-fandom-space]

Elisabeth Kaiserin von Österreich (1972) [Elisabeth Empress of Austria]

This was kind of a weird one, but I really liked it!

The thing that was weird was that this felt way more like a documentary than a film, even though Wikipedia specifically lists it as a film on Elisabeth's page and not in the section with the documentaries, which is why it ended up on my list of Sissi-media, but it doesnt really feel enough like a documentary for me to call it that. Like, it has these sections with narration over montages of paintings and historical photographs where its just some guy recounting various battles and political decrees and what people at the time thought of them, but it also has actors playing Elisabeth, Franz Joseph and everyone else whos relevant in scenes that dont really feel like reenactments, its kinda weird, Ive never seen anything like this. The ending credits call it a 'Dokumentarspiel' which means something along the lines of 'dramatized documentary', and I think that's a very fitting term for it.

Because of that, it didnt really have much of a story and I feel like I cant really talk about this film the way I talked about the others. Like, it's basically just sober recountings of major historical events interspersed with somewhat relevant anecdotes from Elisabeth's life and then towards the end we get less of the historical events as she withdrew from politics and public life, and it doesnt really elicit a lot of emotion from me, which is what I prefer. But I mean, I thought it engaging and that it painted a very interesting picture of Elisabeth. And it was nice getting some actual information for once, Ive mentioned before that I really dont know anything about history and Ive been trying to steer clear of treating anything that's portrayed in any of these films as factual because obviously the people making them are going to take creative liberties for the sake of making a cohesive story, but it doesnt seem like that was the case here. It really makes me want to watch more documentaries, I think I might do something something similar to this project in the future, where I look for a bunch of documentaries and watch them in chronological order, that could be interesting. I probably wouldnt write reviews for those though

Anyway, lets talk about the other stuff. The editing was mostly fine, it was just a bit weird during some of the historical events-segments but it wasnt a big deal. The pacing was good too, given that there wasnt much of a story or a throughline (other than Elisabeth as a person i guess) I think it could have become meandering and feel like a bit of a drag, but it didnt. Although to be fair, this film was on the shorter side, its only 80 minutes. The only part that really dragged on was the scene of Elisabeth and Franz Joseph being crowmed king and queen of Hungary, they show the whole slow ceremony and it was very boring.

And if I'm already talking about scenes that kinda bother me, Elisabeth's assassination was very strange. Like, it shows her and Lucheni walking toward each other at the docks in geneva and it keeps cutting back and forth between them as they both walk at a brisk but measured pace, until he suddenly starts running and then he kindof skids to a halt on his knees right in front of her and quickly stabs her before running off. Elisabeth doesnt really react and the woman who's with her is like "oh no, what happened, are you hurt" but she says it in such a mild way, they straightup did not notice that she got stabbed. So yeah, Elisabeth tells her that everything is fine, shes just a bit shocked and she thinks that guy just puched hef, and she just. keeps walking. The woman is like "are you really sure youre not hurt" and she goes "ah, you know, now that you mention it, I guess Im in a little bit of pain" and she starts trailing off and then collapses. So thats it. Im guessing this was based on like, the real life testimony of the woman who was with her and eye witness reports and all that but still, what a series of events huh.

And last but not least, the actors were all okay. I think they couldve all been better but they werent bad or anything. I will say though, something about Marisa Mell as Elisabeth bothered me, I think its the fact that they start this film off with a bunch of paintings and photographs of her and then Marisa Mell just looks nothing like her. Especially when you compare that to how Peter Fröhlich actually does look quite a bit like Franz Joseph does in the paintings, just less prettyboy-ey and also hid eyes arent so blue and scary. And I mean, the actresses they get to play Elisabeth rarely look like her because they usually just cast generally attractive women with brown hair because yknow, she was supposed to be incredibly beautiful but the beauty standards have changed a lot since then and are shifting, but still.

Anyway, that's it. I didnt want to watch any documentaries as part of this little project, I wanted to focus on the media thats purely fictional, for lack of a better term, but this was a very good one and Im glad I ended up seeing it

[sufferinggod]

06/26/24

well, i had to work for it, but today was honestly perfect. i had to suffer to get here bro. but today went exactly how i imagned it in my head all those days i suffered. well not exactly perfect mexico lost today in the copa america vs venezuela but besides that lol. anyways, i am eternally gratefull. and i dont think i will forget this day for the rest of my life. god, i hope and pray this is the start of better things to come. i have to keep in mind though that i need to work for it. i need to deserve the good things. i have to behave. i have to control myself. i have to stay disciplined. i am thankful that things went well today but its because of all the suffering i endured. i have to cherish today. it was a long ass day bro. today started at 6 am bro. i had to go town and wait in line until 9 to pick up my ID. luckily that went well and i did get it. after that i drove to the nearest city which is a 30 min drive and i went to the bank and (with my new ID) successfully got to withdraw the money i had in my bank account. so i have money now dude. fuck bro that is such a relief you have no idea. obviously im gonna save it. im not gonna go crazy with it. thank god i dont feel like drinking anymore bro. i stopped at the right time. there is no chance in hell im spending any amount on beer bro. thank god i dont pay rent. thank god i live with my parents and i am well fed. everyday. 3 meals a day bro. i will not take that for granted. but yeah. after the bank i drove to Coppel (similar to Best Buy) and got a new laptop off credit. no money down lol. my first payment is due all the way until next month which gives me precious time. i couldve left money but its nice having an entire month to find a job. anyways, its a great laptop. i might have put myself in debt cuz it was expensive as hell. i have to pay it off though bro. its a lenovo. ryzen 7. 16gb ram. its perfect for what i need. some light gaming. and mainly for working from home. like i said today was going to be an important day for me. i start playing 3D chess now dude. every move i make from here on out is a major play in my life. so i gotta play it smart... all thats left is finding better internet bro. i need to upgrade from this 6mbps bullshit we have in my parents house. ima need at least 300mbps brah fr lol. once i get a better internet service provider i can finally start applying for jobs where i can work online, from home. lets see what happens bro. i have to stay patient though. i cant rush things. god it feels so good blogging from a laptop again lol. i am grateful.

[hostilemuppet]

PART FIVE (first batch where we decided CWs might be necessary: discussions of non comedic abuse, mentions of grooming, spread of comedic STIs)

val (part 2): previously known solely for being the victim of barbs frequent transphobia, val (they/them) is actually incredibly fucking racist against all non-rock trolls. they were always like this but it was only after they received the internets pity during the barb situation that they allowed themselves to let loose and "stop being so PC all the time". they hate hinterland trolls the most bc they have no native land and are thus inherently immigrants no matter where they currently reside. val goes after the kpop trolls and, after getting called a flop, get doxxed. they now have to go live with their mum (val didnt know their parents divorced bc they never answer their phone when their mum or dad call) who has remarried to trollzart (val knew that trollzart married a random rock troll but didnt know it was ms thundershock (her ex husband took her last name) bc they never call their parents and they threw out the wedding invite bc they assume all letters are junk mail)

cliva: after a solid month of clay mooching off branch, he and viva get back together with a long night of very freaky sex. which viva records (without his knowledge) for blackmail in case he ever tries to cross her again. which, yknow, we obviously dont CONDONE revenge porn, but he kinda brought it on himself. she keeps it on display as a video tape (not that she doesnt have the video file on the cloud. you think shes a fucking luddite?) in a glass case in their mansion and its clays responsibility to come up with an excuse for why they still have a VHS in 2024 whenever they have visitors. viva keeps him on a tight leash (very literally, if you watch the video). while initially a level of comedic toxicity expected from the precedent fleek set, it quickly grew into a genuine fucked up abusive relationship and, i cant believe im saying this, clay is the victim. hes not allowed to make eye contact with non-related trolls or use his credit cards without permission (he has a set amount of cash he can use per week. floyd and jd think its hilarious hes a grown man with an allowance. bruce and branch think its horrifying hes a grown man with an allowance). if and when she releases the video she plans to tell people that he paid her to do whatever it is they did in the tape (which changes on every description. so far we know there was a rubber chicken, a penny farthing, and a pillow case full of strawberry jam). clay cant ask bruce for help bc hes still mad at him for almost ruining his marriage (brandy immediately forgave bruce once she found out it was clay and theyre currently planning their newest romantic trip) and he cant ask branch bc thats his adorable innocent baby sibling and, even though floyd has experience with sex tape leakage, he cant ask floyd bc hes still floyd, so hes left with no other options. he has to ask jd for help and pretend he doesnt want to rip those dumbass goggles off his head and shove em through his entire digestive system (either way). unfortunately, jd has been in this exact scenario before, and is willing to help

jd: dont worry bro, ive got experience dealing with sticky situations involving a ham sandwich, jump rope and three rolls of toilet paper clay: and the fa- jd: and the fancy silverware set from the 1800s yes

unbeknownst to clay, viva deliberately stopped taking her birth control to use the baby as leverage in any future lawsuit. shes got an egg growing as we speak. she doesnt see the problem in having a baby to get the upper hand in a failing marriage bc thats how poppy was made.

marshtato mary: twitter reply guy meme gimmick account ala kirawontmiss or wokey d pronouns whos known for being a piece of shit and almost universally hated for her stolen overused jokes and reposted memes. shes blatantly fatphobic to random people as a "dunk" and when she goes """"too far"""" she simply deletes the tweet and says nothing. she claims theres multiple people running the account (theres not). people notice shes gone from "generic normie memes" to "grey hair and pronouns" so they go through her following and discover she follows barb.

harper: infamous twitter artist who went to art school and instantly degraded from "interesting art" to "generic horny caricature-esque slop". draws barb like the kingpin from spiderverse. gets into her first controversy when she draws brozone fanart bc she is "so hyped for their newest album!!!". most of the brothers are drawn normally (although floyd might be a bit too... demure. but he tends to go that route for brozone stuff anyway) except bruce who is drawn with a skinny hourglass figure and long eyelashes. bruce usually doesnt care (or know about) fandom drama but floyd thinks he should know about this one, and hes so shocked that hes dealing with this again after living almost 30 years as a man that he logs into @/brobruceofficial (clay never changed the password) and replies "what the hell is this" before hitting back 3 shots of whiskey and doing some thinking. harper says "what, trans guys cant be feminine? 🙄" and bruce says "but im NOT???".

bruce sits up in bed (he has his own separate tiny bed on the nightstand bc otherwise brandy would roll over and crush him in her sleep) bruce: honey im........ im masc, right? brandy: *looks at the barbie doll bed* sure sweetie.

harper finally deletes her account after getting called out for morally reprehensible kink art, and bruce is indignant that that was the final straw and not drawing fetishistic softcore porn of him (floyd and poppy say he'll get used to it). harper later tries to come back to twitter under a different name. she pretends to be a kpop troll. she doesnt speak korean.

clay (part 3): when we last left off, clay, after swallowing his pride, asked jd for help with the sex-tape-abusive-relationship-situation. jd says he should give her cooties and clay threatens to smash the few non-plastic plates jd owns. jd lets clay stay over in rhonda for a few days, and he calls viva himself to tell her that brozone are having a "group lyric writing sesh to prep for our next album. no, uh, not the one releasing in a week, the next one. its called being married to the grind, viva. dont call." after a couple days clay tells jd its been nice not having someone breathing down his neck, judging his every move, telling him what he can and cant do, can and cant wear, can and cant eat. jd says that viva must be a real monster. clay stares him dead in the eyes without saying anything. jd says he has to go get groceries.

delta dawn: very famous for country trolls but not a lot of reach outside, which she is completely fine with, until one day jdtwt find an 18-22 y/o photo of him with a "random unnamed centaur lady" and try to track her down bc they are crazy people. over night deltas spotify monthly listens surpass the estimated population of lonesome flats by a huge margin, and her initial glee that music really is uniting them all is immediately squashed when she checks twitter (her follower count quintupled) and realises that the one night stand she had roughly 18-22 years ago has once again bitten her in the ass. shes instantly reduced to an extension of jd, and do you KNOW how hard it is to make it as a female country musician? its pretty goddamn hard. she "has her people call jds people" and they meet up in an unpopulated area of lonesome flats. delta asks what the hell is going on, and jd laughs and admits his fans can get overzealous sometimes, so delta slaps him and tells him he should feel lucky she didnt kick him somewhere sensitive. she tells him theres one more reason she wanted to see him, that theres someone she wants him to meet, and holly walks in. holly didnt initially understand the situation so the first thing she said was he should really clean up more. jd DID actually understand the situation immediately, and instantly went in for a hug, so holly pepper sprayed him.

holly: is this it? are you selling me to a boyband??? like what i read about???????? delta: what- no. no, sugar. i dont think he could afford you anyway jd: i totally could- delta: hit him again, hon.

turns out that one night stand 18-22 years ago resulted in holly darling. jd is thrilled about being a father. holly does some digging into who jd is and learns very little except lesbians seem to love him (in a hamster sort of way) and she really wishes her estranged father remained estranged. jd and delta dont exactly rekindle their relationship so to speak, but they do become awb (acquaintances with benefits), which is a fancy way of saying "jd isnt allowed to text her but when delta is bored and sexually frustrated she just has to say the word and he comes running". he gives her cooties and she puts him in the hospital

velvet (part 2): crimp gets cancelled for roblox roleplaying with tiny (who she thinks is 14 (he is actually 1)) who took screenshots the second it got uncomfortable and made his own expose video set to a song from a cutesy slice of life anime where he added captions in windows movie maker detailing the allegations. she immediately deleted her account without any fanfare. velvet talks about how she "never liked her anyway" and inadvertently exposes the extent of the workplace abuse. velvets reputation was already in the gutter as it was but now shes chilling with a bunch of sewer rats. the "this might strike some viewers as harsh, but i believe everyone involved in this story should die" meme gets a lot of use that week.

smidge (part 2): the timeline is as such; she is seen with poppy and rumours start about her being her rebound; people find out about milton moss a week later, quickly assume that smidge is (consensually) cucking him; barb gets blackout drunk and calls him a pedophile bc smidge is short bc she wants anyone even halfway related to anyone dating poppy to die; smidge tells her off; smidgetwt 🔛🔝. smidge quickly realises she can make a pretty penny from people who are unhealthily obsessed with #smoppy. she releases hoodies (plain white, with two crudely drawn ms paint stoutberries, one yellow one pink) and fans say that is their stealth coming out. several fans ask if this is queerbaiting and, as they get dogpiled, smidge tweets on priv "hold on i gotta look something up" and 13 minutes later replies "okay yeah that is what im doing" (she is not going to stop).

bridget: this months #ladyglittersparklestwtselfieday happened to coincide with classical trolls having important twitter discussions about anti-classical discrimination (spurred on by val, of course) and classical trolls say something along the lines of "this is why no one likes bztwt, youre always talking over important issues" ignoring how

it wasnt bztwt

ladyglittersparklestwtselfieday has been every 15th for 4 months now, and

its twitter

dante angrily rants about how #ladyglittersparklestwtselfieday is trending and says everyone posting selfies is ugly. bridget, who has no idea what is going on, qrts with "thats not nice, my fans are beautiful 😊" and classical trolls are MADDDDDD

diamonds (part 2): tiny (on his trollex stan account) admits he is actually 1 year old instead of 14 and everyone thinks hes doing a bit. he says he is tiny diamond from that famous family vlog channel and gets in trouble for "laughing at a real infant being exploited". he posts a selfie as proof but gets mass reported and ends up losing 62k twitter followers. he cries to his daddy about it

guy: didnt i ban you from social media? tiny: well Clearly you didnt do a very good job, did you?

this lands guy in hot water for "letting his son get groomed". he makes a joke along the lines of "the only time i let him get groomed is when i take him to get his hair styled" and people do nooooooooot like that one 😬. cj, priscilla and keith (all approx 13) were tinys mutuals and are betrayed at the revelation. tinys last tweet is "sorry oomfs" before they softblock him bc they all have "dni if under 10" in their bios. priscilla (pfp: cunty fluttershy with filters) tries to get clout by cancelling him post-suspension but its something really dumb like "he was proship (source: he ships squidbob (spongebob is minor coded))" and all the qrts that arent making fun of her for the nonsense tweet is some variation of "preschooltwt is heating up 🔥"

branch and poppy (part 2): branch sees all the smoppy and starts to think that it's real (he and poppy havent had sex in 5 days, which is the longest theyve ever gone without one of them being on tour (during which they zoom every other night. it's why branch has to have his own separate tour bus)). branch once again drinks his feelings and declines jds invitation to join him doing the same. branch publicly tweets “@/therealsmidgeNA HOMEWRECKERRRRRRRR” which is taken as confirmation that smidge and poppy are together for realsies.

poppy checks up on him via text poppy: branchifer What is going on branch: why dont you ask smidge since you clearly like her more than me branch: sorry *smidgifer (poppy sends an emoji combo that properly conveys “i am still concerned for your emotional well-being but i dont appreciate the way you are treating me right now. i will give you some time to cool off and we will discuss this later. i love you") branch (cant find the middle finger emoji in his drunken state):👆 poppy: im glad we agree ❤

after branch sobers up the next morning, they talk things out. they decide to go public with their relationship (again) and before poppy can stop him he tweets out "i dont care if you guys make porn of me and poppy anymore, as long as its Only me and poppy. no smidge. no creek. no other rumoured-or-confirmed ex romantic interests of either of us. just me. just poppy. broppy on top." their date nights (most nights) now regularly involve them reading the newest broppy fics on troll ao3. poppy even shows branch the nsfw twitter art tag, which he didnt know was a thing, but she sure has for the longest time. happy ending to the broppy saga.

Brozone (and friends (and enemies)) twitter drama au

Collaborative between me and @squirrelpatties. Truly our magnum opus

Jd: previously a frequent twitter e-clown infamous for name searching and starting beef with people who insulted him. His fanbase thought it was hilarious in a "grandpa escaped the hospital" way. Eventually was forced to relinquish control of @/brojohndoryofficial to his pr manager (clay) after he responded to 14 y/o @/j0ndryballzweat.

Floyd (part 1): his sex tape (with a fan he didnt know was a fan but thats hardly relevant) gets leaked. For the first three days everyone's timeline was full of "do NOT share it around, dont even look for it, if someone sends it to you IGNORE it, this is a disgusting breach of privacy" until Floyd addresses it by tweeting "decided to put on a different kind of show for you guys" and all hell breaks loose. Every tweets hidden replies are full of screencaps and reuploads for a month. People edit the video so just before anything explicit happens it's replaced by a video game cutscene or meme, which Floyd retweets a lot of. His brothers ask him to stop (both for publicity and bc it makes them uncomfortable) so he starts posting thirst traps on insta. Clay yells at him so Floyd tweets "clay just asked when I'm gonna get a girlfriend :/" which brings us to-

Clay: homophobia allegations. Admittedly the least serious and would have blown over quickly if it weren't for him panic tweeting "I'm not homophobic! My girlfriend is a bi lesbian!" People were NOT happy. It takes him three days of retweeting 'helpful educational threads and carrds' on lesbianism written by 14 y/os for people to get off his back. Viva understands.

Bruce: stays off social media bc its the mind killer so he lets clay take care of @/brobruceofficial. This goes well until clay gets drunk and thinks he's on his private account but is actually on Bruce's public. When he wakes up (hungover) in the morning hes got Bruce banging on his door asking why TMZ is reporting on him cheating on his wife. Bruce tells him to clear things up but clay JUST got the lesbians off his back and can't afford to be back in the hotseat...

Branch and poppy: branch was annoyed by all the branch/poppy rpf fanfic (poppy likes them bc she thinks they're cute and funny. When brozone go on tour she reads the smutty ones) so he suggested to poppy that they stage a fake breakup. Poppy is initially against the idea until branch brings up how much fun itd be to sneak around like a couple of teenagers. Poppy scrapbooks the tabloids about their breakup. Clay and Bruce blame clays drunken tweets on branch so clay seems like the victim. Poppy acknowledges this on twitter in a way that very heavily implies they broke up bc branch was cheating on her with her own sister. Viva does not understand. This one doesn't have a resolution yet bc we moved onto:

Barb: previous lesbian icon turned reactionary transphobe. Riff stopped associating with her once she started getting really public with it and now she keeps tweeting stuff like "you-know-who left me just to work with misogynists. Really makes you think 🤔 " which he ignores.

Riff: while still working with barb he was approached to collab with creek (damage control for the... unsavoury things he said about rock trolls). The second the song released he tweeted "wow that guy was an asshole LOL" bc he didn't realise he wasn't supposed to do that. Cut contact with barb once her transphobia went from "mild, I can fix her" to "jesus fucking christ". Briefly worked with Floyd until his second controversy at which point riff tweeted "cmon, man" and turned off his phone. Riff hasn't done anything wrong and he deserves a lot better

Velvet: crafted the perfect expose thread on Floyd when she was in prison, including "pro life" "publicly sharing inappropriate sexual content" and "uses the toothpaste flag". Posts it the second she gets let out of prison and instantly becomes #1 on trending (alongside "floyd" "pro life" and "#HUGS4CLAY).

Floyd (part 2): tweets "why does it even matter that I'm pro life if I'm gay and don't 'believe' in 'voting'" before doing another line off his boyfriends torso. People bring his leaked nudes back up and start insulting his dick size and its the first time hes ever let a controversy bother him. His next tweet is "I am not ashamed of my body" and the top reply (creek pfp) is "you should be ❤". Clay is biting the skin off his own tongue.

[valdemart]

Valdebreed Part 2

Us: *votes for courtier content*

Nyx Hydra: Yeah we’re not gonna actually do that lol

I tried to keep Valdemar as in character as possible but honestly? Fuck cannon. If Nyx Hydra isn’t going to feed us, I am! Come get y’all lunch!

NSFW ValdemarxReader Consentacles, way too much cum, dirty talking Valdemar, breeding kink, ruined furniture, pet names, after care probably a rushed intro but fuck it.

After pulling yourself together and freshening up in a very well-earned bath, you made your way back to your room where Valdemar waited.

The fire place had been lit. It was also the only light in the room. If it hadn’t been your own room, you might have bumped into something as you made your way over to where you could see Valdemar.

When you first moved in, there had been a chair in the library that you had fallen in love with. It was an oversized arm chair, big enough to curl up in, made of burgundy velvet. You sank into it like a spoiled house cat and read for hours at a time. Valdemar had found you napping in it at some point and shortly after you had found it had been moved to your room. That’s where they sat now. Naked.

 Valdemar never disrobed. Ever. Honestly, you had wondered a few times if their clothing wasn’t part of their actual body. This wasn’t their ‘real’ form, after all. You wouldn’t have been totally shocked to learn that their coat was just their true form’s arm or something, molded to look like clothing. Apparently, you were wrong. All of their skin was the same olive hue as their face and hands, the only other skin of theirs you had really seen before. They were a rectangular shape, their waist only dipping in slightly beneath their ribcage before fulling out to their hips. Their ribs were almost all entirely visible, the shadows cast by the firelight highlighting each groove and protuberance. And sitting on those ribs were the tiniest handfuls of breast tissue, with such perfectly symmetrical shape and nipples that they very obviously weren’t ‘human’. You’d only ever known breasts to be perfect mirror images of each other on statues. You could follow their legs up to their lap, but then all you could make out was shadow.

They were breathtakingly and horrifyingly beautiful.

“I think I’m…overdressed,” you said, your voice so thick with anticipation that you had to pause to swallow before you could finish your sentence.

“For now. I thought this particular situation called for some vulnerability on my part. Disrobe, Little Mouse.”

You slid off your robe and let it pool at your feet, leaving you as bare as they were.

“Come to me.”

You were before them in an instant, desperate to be near them. On them. Filled with them.

“Sit.”

You straddled their lap slowly, knowing the extent of their strength, but still slightly put off by the sight of their ribs. Parts of your brain seemed to have mistaken them for human.

You shivered as your chest pressed against theirs and your nipples hardened against their cool skin. You noticed quietly that theirs were still unerect and soft against you. Their hands wrapped around you gently, their fingers somehow sliding perfectly into the spaces between your ribs where they connected to your spine. If they squeezed, they could probably collapse your whole chest cavity. You had seen them crush a femur in their fist like it had been made out of sugar.

“We’re you ready to begin the experiment, Mouseling?”

“Kiss me first?”

Their lips were cold and thin and they felt so good against your heated skin.

There was loud crackling noise, too loud to have been from the fireplace, followed by a grotesque, wet sound. It sounded like someone was butchering a chicken right in front of you and you would have fallen back to the floor in surprise if Valdemar hadn’t been holding you.

You only saw it for a second but, in the firelight, you saw a cleft on Valdemar’s sternum that started to split open further like the skin was being retracted. You yelped and Valdemar reached out to grab your chin and hold your head upright.

“Look at me, Mouseling. Look only at me.”

They released your chin but your eyes never left theirs. You watched the flames behind you flicker in their red eyes as something unimaginably horrible was happening right below you. The sound traveled downward until it stopped where their genitals would be. Then it was quiet again. You could feel the dark energy emanating from just a few inches below you, but your eyes never left Valdemar’s and you weren’t sure if it was from fear or servility.

“Such an obedient little thing,” Valdemar praised as they brushed your hair off your face. You were sweating despite the chill of their skin and your head was swimming. Their magic tended to do that to you. Asra’s magic and your own magic never made you sick, but Valdemar’s always did. You weren’t sure if it was because it came from a different source or because it was too strong for you. Asra said it was a much older, much darker magic, and that even he wasn’t completely sure he understood it. That had upset you at first, and you tried to argue with him that Valdemar wasn’t evil and you were sick of everyone’s constant comments about it, but he merely placed a finger to your lips to silence you and said ‘I said dark energy, not evil energy’. To Asra’s credit, he handled your relationship with the doctor better than most people had.

But what would he think about a baby?

“Allow me to show you just how satisfying that which you fear is.”

Several appendages the width of a finger started to caress your body, making you jerk away against them, but Valdemar held you steady and your eyes never left theirs. They stared at you, unblinking and smiling softly, as their little tendrils fondled your stomach and legs. They were wet and soft like small tongues, and they left trails of moisture wherever they lapped. While they were a little unnerving, the sensation was like nothing you had felt before. Especially when they found your breasts. They flicked against your nipples flatly before wrapping around them to tug lightly. Your clit pulsed desperately with each little caress and your wet hole clenched around nothing, leaving you feeling desperately empty.

You groaned softly and bucked forward, trying to guide even one of those tendrils to where you now needed it most.

“Impatient?” Valdemar asked, knowing damned well the answer to their own question. “We have the rest of eternity.”  

Still, the tendrils descended then. Some softly pulled your lips apart, exposing you, while others tasted you. Two alternated flicks against your clitoris while three or maybe four slid into you at varying depths.

You keened and bucked into Valdemar’s lap, but you knew nothing you could do would change anything they had planned for you.

“Let’s get you nice and prepared to take my seed.”

It didn’t take long for the appendages to lubricate you, perhaps excessively so. Your body was wet now, and it caused you to shiver against the air.

The tendrils working your body withdrew, and you whined pitifully.

“Hush, Pet,” Valdemar said softly, though clearly unannoyed.

There was a singular tendril then, thicker than any of the last ones. A blunt head prodded you gently for a moment before sliding fully inside. Its girth stretched you, but whatever Valdemar had covered you in took away all resistance.

Your eyes rolled to the back of your head and, for a moment, you were worried they wouldn’t come back. This was so much more than anything Valdemar had ever given you. You doubted Valdemar had an established phallus, especially since they shapeshifted every other part of their physical form. This huge thing inside of you was made specifically because they wanted you helplessly full, pinned from the inside.

“I c-cant…Val…”

You weren’t asking for them to stop. No, this was delicious. You need this. But it was so, so much.

“You can. And you will.”

The phallus withdrew slowly to the tip before sliding back in just as slowly, all while Valdemar didn’t move a muscle. It was so typical of the demon, to wreck you without any indication of physical response on their end. They were going to fuck you and anyone watching would think they had nothing to do with it.

Valdmar’s…cock? For lack of a better comparison in your mind fucked you in the uniform way Valdemar did anything. While it lacked human variation, it was unrelenting in its endeavor to impregnant you.

“I can feel your little cunt milking me. Your body’s as desperate to get pregnant as you are.”

Your head dropped with a heavy moan and Valdemar shifted back, taking your full weight against them. If this dicking didn’t kill you, them talking like that certainly would. The heat inside of you was becoming unbearable. All you needed was a little bit more.

“Can you go faster?” You asked softly as you jerked your hips forward into their thrusting.

“Weren’t you just saying you couldn’t handle things as they were?”

You whined pitifully at their teasing.

“Please? Please? Please?”

With each beg you humped yourself harder. You could feel your climax mounting and all you wanted was to finish with Valdemar this deep inside of you. You weren’t above begging.

“Of course, Duckling. We need your orgasm to move my ejaculate to your womb.”

Their weird medical speak should have been embarrassing, but your walls fluttered around them.

One of their hands found the back of your head while the other wrapped around your waist. When Valdemar pushed back into you, it was a sharp, hard thrust and you cried out before you fell forward. You moaned loudly into the fabric of the chair and Valdemar held you against it.

“I have you.”

The tentacle started to piston in and out of you, the speed of the penetration through both of your fluids making the most unholy of sounds, like someone drowning in mud. Your body jiggled and shuddered against Valdemar as they remained perfectly still while they kept you caged to them.

“Val! Val-d-de-mah! Ah! Ah! Ah!”

It was right there. You could feel yourself about to snap. Just a little more. Oh, please just a little more. Oh please oh please oh please oh please

A few of the small tendrils from earlier reappeared to lap at your clit and you screamed into the chair. As you contracted around the still thrusting phallus, you could feel it erupt. The fluid coming out of it wasn’t hot or cold, but there was a ridiculous amount of it. It squirted inside of you before you felt it leak out around the two of you, quickly causing a puddle to form in Valdemar’s lap. Despite this, they were still moving in and out of you, fucking their cum back inside of you as it came out.

Too spent to try and wiggle away from the overstimulation, you whimpered for mercy.

“ ‘S too much. Val…”.

“I’m only trying to make sure you’re completely inseminated. Isn’t that what you wanted?”

Despite their teasing, their tendril retracted out of you. You shuddered, both thankful for the break and grieving the loss of fullness.  

“Val…That was crazy…”

“Science often is.”

It wasn’t hard for Valdemar to maneuver you onto your back in their lap, despite you being completely dead weight. Hooking one arm under your knees, they elevated your lower body and cradled you.

“You’re being too wasteful with my sperm, Little One. You need to be more grateful.”

Finally able to look at yourself, you saw that you were bathed almost completely in black. It started around your breasts where the tendrils had played with you and you grew darker the further down yourself you looked. Of course, Valdemar came black. You doubted anything viable in terms of offspring would actually come of this, but the closeness, the intimacy, that was what you had really needed. The brain melting orgasm hadn’t hurt either.

“I love you.”

Valdemar hummed in acknowledgement before softly running a finger down your stomach, through the gummy pitch they had covered you in, before tracing small circles around your womb.

Every time the fire flickered, the lighting on their face changed, making them look like they were morphing briefly. You couldn’t help but smile.

“We’re going to have such cute kids.”

[kellyvela]

Has GRRM ever said in any interview or on his blog that he hates Sansa's complete storyline after 4th season? I dont really follow all of his fan/media interactions but from what I can recall he has spoken abt how LF in books wont give sansa to ramsay or how noone had issue when Jeyne was given the Ramsay storyline in books etc. Asking this question to you bcs you rightly point out how ppl misunderstood his interviews/posts ( sansans/targ stans etc) & I cant recall him ever saying he 'hates' sansa's story in the later seasons of the show ( not s5 in particular but even s6 to s8).

Capclave 2013:

A change that has repercussions for season 4 is Marillion’s tongue removal from the first season. Martin said that the change was made (from an anonymous singer being the victim of a de-tonguing) because they wanted Joffrey to maim someone the audience would recognize. He believes this is an issue because of the part the singer plays in Sansa’s storyline, how he affects her interactions with others in the book, and he doesn’t believe another character will be fulfilling that role on Game of Thrones.

—GRRM talks season 4 & beyond - Winter is Coming - October 13, 2013

2014 Fan Reports about Capclave 2013 (*):

In a convention panel this year, George said on the record that he had no idea what they were doing with Sansa or where they’re taking her storyline, which now makes sense perhaps. He was not pleased when he was talking about it, so who knows what’s going to happen with her! Knowing GRRM, that could mean they’re going off the canon reservation, and/or that they’re going to be making a lot of shit up

I have notes I’ll be responding to (thanks!) but enough people commented about Sansa that I thought I’d share that tidbit, since it happened back in September iirc (was the same panel where he criticized the exclusion of Tyrell brothers)

—starkalypse - June 3, 2014

GRRM’s comments at capclave about Sansa (which I was in the third row for, for those asking about legitimacy) were among others during the panel that had a general theme of dissatisfaction with show changes. He was not in good spirits for that con and didn’t really have anything positive to say regarding the show. So take it with a grain of salt; there are deviations away from the books in the episodes he gets writers credit for, so maybe they’re doing something stupid or they really don’t have a gameplan!

—starkalypse - June 4, 2014

(*) These reports were posted in June 2014, during the airing of Game of Thrones Season 4, about Capclave 2013 that happened in October 2013.

Just after the rape episode:

How many children did Scarlett O’Hara have? Three, in the novel. One, in the movie. None, in real life: she was a fictional character, she never existed. The show is the show, the books are the books; two different tellings of the same story.

There have been differences between the novels and the television show since the first episode of season one. And for just as long, I have been talking about the butterfly effect. Small changes lead to larger changes lead to huge changes. HBO is more than forty hours into the impossible and demanding task of adapting my lengthy (extremely) and complex (exceedingly) novels, with their layers of plots and subplots, their twists and contradictions and unreliable narrators, viewpoint shifts and ambiguities, and a cast of characters in the hundreds.

There has seldom been any TV series as faithful to its source material, by and large (if you doubt that, talk to the Harry Dresden fans, or readers of the Sookie Stackhouse novels, or the fans of the original WALKING DEAD comic books)… but the longer the show goes on, the bigger the butterflies become. And now we have reached the point where the beat of butterfly wings is stirring up storms, like the one presently engulfing my email.

Prose and television have different strengths, different weaknesses, different requirements.

David and Dan and Bryan and HBO are trying to make the best television series that they can.

And over here I am trying to write the best novels that I can.

And yes, more and more, they differ. Two roads diverging in the dark of the woods, I suppose… but all of us are still intending that at the end we will arrive at the same place.

In the meantime, we hope that the readers and viewers both enjoy the journey. Or journeys, as the case may be. Sometimes butterflies grow into dragons.

—The Show, the Books - Not A Blog - May 18, 2015

Report about the last Game of Thrones Script that GRRM wrote:

No Wedding for Sansa and Ramsay: Without question, one of the most controversial changes the show made in trying to streamline the books was by slotting Sansa into the role of Ramsay’s wife and rape victim in Season 5. In the books, Ramsay marries and assaults Sansa’s best childhood friend, Jeyne Poole—who is being forced to impersonate Arya—instead. (You can actually see Jeyne briefly sitting next to Sansa in the show’s pilot.)

At the time Martin wrote this script, though, substituting Sansa for Jeyne was not yet the plan. Martin has Roose Bolton tell his bastard son: “We have a much better match in mind for you. A match to help House Bolton hold the north. Arya Stark.” It should be noted, however, that in Martin’s script, Sansa isn’t free from menace either. At his own wedding-day breakfast, Joffrey still threatens to rape the older Stark sister—once he’s “gotten Margaery with child.”)

—Game of Thrones: The Secrets of George R.R. Martin’s Final Script - Vanity Fair - December 7, 2018

A month before the Game of Throne S8 Finale:

Sansa’s story, in particular, has really deviated from the books. Ramsay Bolton — that marriage obviously was with a different character. When they start deviating like that, did you initially have any emotional reaction, even though you worked in Hollywood for many years yourself?

GRRM: Well, yeah — of course you have an emotional reaction. I mean, would I prefer they do it exactly the way I did it? Sure. But I’ve been on the other side of it, too. I’ve adapted work by other people, and I didn’t do it exactly the way they did it, so ….

Some of the deviation, of course, is because I’ve been so slow with these books. I really should’ve finished this thing four years ago — and if I had, maybe it would be telling a different story here. It’s two variations of the same story, or a similar story, and you get that whenever anything is adapted. The analogy I’ve often used is, to ask how many children did Scarlett O’Hara have? Do you know the answer to that?

I know it’s different in the book and the movie …

GRRM: Three children in the book, one by each husband. She had one child in the movie. And in real life, of course, Scarlett O’Hara had no children, because she never existed. Margaret Mitchell made her up. The book is there. You can pick it up and read Mitchell’s version of it, or you can see the movie and see David Selznick’s version of it. I think they’re both true to the spirit of the work, and hopefully that’s also true of Game of Thrones on one hand, and A Song of Ice and Fire on the other hand.

—George R.R. Martin on the Stark Sisters and Ending ‘Game of Thrones’ - RollingStone - April 22, 2019

James Hibberd’s Book:

GEORGE R. R. MARTIN: Jeyne Poole was included in the pilot—she’s shown giggling next to Sansa—but she’s never seen or referred to again. I actually wrote Jeyne into “The Pointy End,” my first script, when Arya killed the stableboy. I had some stuff with Jeyne running to Sansa being all hysterical and dialogue in the council chamber with Littlefinger saying, “Give her to me, I’ll make sure she doesn’t cause any trouble.” That was dropped.

DAVID BENIOFF: Sansa is a character we care about almost more than any other. We really wanted Sansa to play a major part in that season. If we were going to stay absolutely faithful to the book, it was going to be very hard to do that. There was a subplot we loved from the books, but it was a character not involved in the show.

GEORGE R. R. MARTIN: I was trying to set up Jeyne for her future role as the false Arya. The real Arya has escaped and is presumed dead. But this girl has been in Littlefinger’s control for years, and he’s been training her. She knows Winterfell, has the proper northern accent, and can pose as Arya. Who the hell knows what a little girl you met two years ago looks like? When you’re a lord visiting Winterfell, are you going to pay attention to the little kids running around? So she can pull off the impersonation. Not having Jeyne, they used Sansa for that. Is that better or worse? You can make your decision there. Oddly, I never got pushback for that in the book because nobody cared about Jeyne Poole that much. They care about Sansa.

—Fire Cannot Kill a Dragon: Game of Thrones and the Official Untold Story of the Epic Series by James Hibberd - October 6, 2020

GEORGE R. R. MARTIN: My Littlefinger would have never turned Sansa over to Ramsay. Never. He’s obsessed with her. Half the time he thinks she’s the daughter he never had—that he wishes he had, if he’d married Catelyn. And half the time he thinks she is Catelyn, and he wants her for himself. He’s not going to give her to somebody who would do bad things to her. That’s going to be very different in the books.

—Fire Cannot Kill a Dragon: Game of Thrones and the Official Untold Story of the Epic Series by James Hibberd - October 6, 2020

I hope it helps you.

Thanks for your message.

[the-flying-urayuli]

uhhh nobody asked but heres my take on those cutscenes in inside (or at least the ones i remember) that i wanted to post for some reason

between content and comedy: no comment, a bit of an opening to the special and not really something that has to be analysed

brand consultant: pretty obvious, its about how brands pretend to care about the struggles our society faces but really is just leeching off of it for more money

can anyone shut the fuck up: also pretty easy, with the internet everyone is always voicing every opinion they have on everything that no one even asked for (hell look at me now) and maybe we’d be a bit better off if we just shut the fuck up. also kinda interesting that this part is done in a stand up comedy-ish format.

reaction video: also kinda obvious, parodying those reaction videos on youtube like the fine bros where it just keeps going on and on. however we also get one of the first big and obvious self hate? moments or at least that i remember and i ave so many hypothesis’ on this scene but none of them make much sense.

im horny: i fucking love how this scene looks, pretty straight foward, or at least i feel so i cant remember this scene too well and searching up “bo inside im horny” on youtube is definitely a regret. bo sorta confronts us straight up that this is pretty fucked. possibly interesting that it has a sort of podcasty vibe.

youtube thank you speech?: bo passively aggressively wants to stab the camera. could possibly be about how childrens content on youtube is so half assed or even bad for children. like some of these videos are disturbing to watch, this also sorta comes up with the other one above with the lines about how we have this system that only benefits a bunch of millionaires and billionaires and i dont remember those lines right. 

bo looks at old videos: also pretty straight foward, this scene felt awesome though. leading into problematic its bo looking at his older more controversial past and either regrets it or is impressed with how far he’s come/learned? or a mix of the 2 but mote likely its the first one.

dont kys speech: i remember someone else saying this on tumblr ages ago, if you know who that is tell me and ill credit them but someone said in this scene he is quite literally self projecting and i think thats the best i’ll get out of this part

video game streamer thing?: this one is quite confusing and like the reaction one, i have loads of loose ideas but nothing to tie it all together. could possibly be about how streamers and videogamers dont really pay much attention to the message of a game or the actual experience and really just want to get through it as fast as possible and make another video, or something like that. there are definitely some more noteworthy lines and i could explain this a lot more but not today-

just before all eyes on me: i dont really think theres much to look at here. this sorta ending part of the special though is when it gets more confusing if its all acting or genuine emotion. 

the ending part: this has to be one of the most confusing yet best parts so far. starting off, obviously bo finally leaves the room, his hair is still quite long but we see he looks a lot cleaner and is dressed now. then as he leaves the room he finds himself to be on some sort of set and an audience starts laughing. he attempts to go back inside but finds himself locked out, then he starts breaking down in front of the door as the audience keeps laughing. then suddenly it cuts to bo back inside watching that previous footage on a projector, then slowly smiling, in a satisfed manor. this part is a lot easier until that last part. starting off, the lockdown is over. he goes to try and go back into the world and back into the public eye or into normal life again but he finds he doesnt want to leave yet or isnt ready. so he tries to go back into that old state of just working on the special alone, day after day, but cant. so he freaks out. the laughing is a bit confusing and i dont even have anything to say at all for the part as he looks on.

also sorta noteable is how in all eyes on me, there isnt any actual audience cheering for bo, possibly he’s sorta going back and missing the times he got to go on stage and perform something he put a lot of work into and be praised for it.

sorry for this strange and confusing rant i just wanted to get this out of my head, if anyone else has any different takes on different inside moments id love to see them

[hepburnwritess]

Big Fan

Pairing: Schmidt x reader

Request: You are a famous actress who has been friends with Jess for years. She finally invites you to the loft to meet her roommates, which include a big fan of yours who happens to be pretty cute too.

Tagged: @badboysdoitbetter2 thank you for the request!!

A/N: I love writing for this show! New Girl requests are open!

It had been quite some time since you had seen your friend Jess. Actually, it had probably been a small handful of years since the two of you had met up face to face. You had always kept up with occasional phone calls and FaceTime sessions though. You had been the first person she called when she found out about Spencer. And you know *all* about her crazy, current living situation at the loft with three guys she met on Craiglist. The very same loft you now stood outside of.

"Guys, so my friend Y/N is coming to stay for a couple of days. And I beg you to not be weird," Jess was just finishing up her spiel to the guys about keeping things relatively normal while you were around.

"Jess, come on," Nick chuckled. "Give us some credit! We are not that bad."

"You don't understand. My friend Y/N... she - well, just don't be weird around her. That's all I ask," Jess threw her hands up in defeat, for she was at a loss for words how to tell her roommates that one of her longest childhood friends was Y/N Y/L/N, the famous actress she knew her roommates would know.

Then came a knock at the door and Jess ran to it faster than the guys could blink. She swung the door open and enveloped you in a tight hug. "Y/N! I cant believe you're here, I've missed you so much!"

"I know! Me too! Of all the times I've been here in L.A. and just never been able to meet up! Totally unfair. But I'm so glad I'm here now!" You said as you pulled way from Jess to smile widely at her.

Jess then stepped to the side so you could enter the loft and as you did, you heard a sharp gasp. Your eyes immediately flew up to meet those of a dark haired man in between two other men. They were all looking like they had just seen a deer in the headlights, but the one in the middle wore an expression that looked both like delight and that he may also faint at any moment.

You glanced back at Jess who definitely was now wearing a sheepish look. "I may have sort of not mentioned exactly who you were." She admitted before stepping in front of you and then gesturing to each of the guys. "Y/N, this is Winston, Schmidt, and Nick!"

Before you could formally respond, the man in the middle - Schmidt - came forward immediately to shake your hand over enthusiastically. "Hello, I'm Schmidt," he repeated as he shook your hand. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Y/N."

You were used to fans getting excited around you, but there was something about the way this Schmidt fellow didn't break eye contact with you that was just... different. "Thank you..." you said, holding onto his hand longer than the actual handshake lasted before you both pulled your hands away at the same time. "It's nice to meet you too. All of you," you looked at the others. "Jess has told me so much about you guys."

"Not too much I hope," Nick chuckled nervously. You just winked at him, knowing full well about the teensy crush Jess seemed to harbor on him.

"Schmidt, why don't you help Y/N with her bags. Schmidt is bunking with Winston for the week, and you're sleeping in Schmidt's room," Jess explained. You nodded, curious to see what the inside of Schmidt's bedroom looked like.

Since Schmidt was still standing relatively close to you, he reached for your biggest luggage just as you did (you felt bad making someone you just met carry your luggage.) You both laughed nervously at the happenstance and then you let Schmidt take your luggage as you followed him to through the kitchen.

"Here we go," Winston said aloud as the two of you walked off.

Schmidt's room was impressively clean. You wondered if Jess made him clean it up for you but a part of you felt like this was just how he kept it all the time.

"Su casa es mi casa," Schmidt said as he set your luggage down. "Or rather, bed. My bed is your bed."

You felt your cheeks get a little warm at that. He was ridiculously silly and cute. "Thank you, Schmidt. And thank you for letting me stay in here."

"It's my pleasure," he said as he stuck out his hand again to shake.

You took it just a little hesitantly, if only because you were afraid you wouldn't want to let go and sure enough...

You both shook hands and then while you should have parted again, you didn't. Instead, Schmidt rubbed his thumb over the top of your hand as you stood there for what surely felt like hours. But neither of you made any moves to leave.

"You have soft hands," Schmidt said after a moment.

"So do you," you nearly whispered.

One step forward.

"I have a strict skin regimen," Schmidt whispered back.

Another step closer.

"Oh. You'll have to tell me about that." Your voice was as quiet as a mouse now and it was at the end of that very sentence you realized you were just mere inches away from his face.

"Of course, of course," Schmidt's voice rose slightly. "I moisturize daily, obviously," he began to ramble, you assumed out of nervousness so you gave a gentle tug on his hand you were still holding and pulled him to you until your lips met.

You had kind of kissed strangers before. You were an actor after all. The job sometimes called for it in more romantic rolls. But you had never kissed a stranger outside of acting before. And this was... dang near transcendental. The two of you just... fit.

If ever there was that one kiss you were supposed to feel fireworks, this was it.

You pulled away, no matter how much you didn’t want to and when you did, Schmidt opened his eyes widely.

“Woah - I, uh. Wow.” Schmidt blinked at you.

“Yeah. Wow,” you said back just as taken aback by the near instant connection you both seemed to have.

“Schmidt! Leave Y/N alone and get out here!” There was Jess. Her assuming Schmidt was bothering you brought a smirk to your face.

“Well, uh, welcome, Y/N. I hope you feel right at home here.” Schmidt rambled off once again. It was cute the affect you seemed to have on him.

“Thank you, Schmidt,” you said as he slowly backed up and toward the door. “Oh, and Schmidt?”

He stopped and turned back to look at you.

“Maybe you don’t have to bunk with Winston? You can tell me all about that skin care regimen in here instead?” You smiled at him hopefully.

To your surprise, he returned the smile with a hint of mischievousness behind it. “Did I mention what a huge fan I am of you?”

[ectonurites]

for the character headcannons ask game, jason and cass?

ALRIGHT ALRIGHT im putting this one under a cut because it got SUPER long bc i cant shut up ever

lets start w jason

A (realistic headcanon): 

ok using the ‘realistic’ category here loosely but GOD i love the idea of Damian & Jason having interacted while Jason was staying with the League before getting dunked in the Lazarus Pit. like. this obviously would need to be set more in preboot and following the Lost Days & Batman Annual 25 version of Jason’s resurrection, but god the idea of it just makes me scream in a good way. Like... these are things Jason likely doesn’t remember very clearly once he’s brought back to life more fully by the pit because he was uh pretty catatonic, but Damian being a little kid and knowing about the boy that his mother keeps around the base, that she’s trying to help bring back to health. Damian not even knowing that’s his big brother, just that he’s a presence that shares his mother’s attention. Jason again being unresponsive but like, ok god you know that part of lost days where Talia shows the others observing him that he only fights back at those he perceives as genuine threats trying to hurt him, 

Because Jason can perceive that she’s safe, she’s not actually trying to hurt him, he trusts her because she saved him? thinking about lil child Damian who is ya know already being trained in fighting stuff and like the idea of him trying to provoke Jason just to see what happens but Jason not fighting back because on some level be it his connection to Talia or even little baby Damian visually reminding him of Bruce, he knows that Damian is safe too 🥺 

and then when Jason and Damian meet again in Gotham as Red Hood & Robin respectively, Jason not really remembering because there was so much going on back then for him, but Damian realizing that oh... that was Him

B (hilarious): 

alright so if we are looking at comics currently, in modern stuff jason is what, like 22? hes old enough to drink in the US but still definitely early 20s so around my around my age, thats what im using as a basis here. if we adjust timeline and still consider his death having happened when he was 15, that puts it around 2013. and then coming back to like interacting with people about three years later if we still kinda base things off of the preboot timeframe (since we never got a super solid retelling of the timeline of death -> resurrection -> training -> tries to get revenge aside from knowing he went to the all-caste instead of the lost days version of the story) making him reenter the regular world and stuff around age 18 in 2016. meaning a solid three years of pop culture that he was entirely missing, and like im sorry but he really doesn’t strike me as the type to bother looking into what he missed, he’s kinda busy focusing on other stuff. lets take a quick look at some major things from those years. 2013 gave us ‘what does the fox say’ and ‘the harlem shake’ . 2014 had that time U2 just put a fuckin album on everyone’s phones, The Fault In Our Stars movie came out. 2015 introduced the phrase ‘Netflix and Chill’ and the whole blue & black vs gold & white dress debate happened. imagine any of the other batkids (or even arguably roy during rhato stuff) bringing these things up and jason’s ensuing confusion. thank you for your time

C (heart-crushing): 

so. there are two specific instances from rebirth era Jason i want to bring up here and much like a lot of these it’s less a headcanon and more of an inference based on observations, but i wanna take a sec to discuss Jason’s relationship with other people’s death. early in rebirth, Tim ‘dies’ from that whole thing in detective comics. he didn’t actually die, we as readers know, but in-universe they all very much so thought he was dead. frustratingly a lot of the batfam wasn’t really shown mourning him aside from in the Detective Comics Rebirth title itself (which just. when a major character dies even if its temporary- that should have a ripple effect) BUT an exception to that is in RHATO 2016, where we get this offhanded comment in Jason’s internal monologuing

similarly later when Roy, who like, had an incredibly close relationship w Jason that had just gotten mended before Heroes in Crisis, gets fuckin murdered in that whole thing... Jason doesn’t go to his funeral either. He leaves a dramatic voice mail and then visits the grave on his own later, choosing to instead keep working on the mission they’d started rather than going and taking the time to mourn properly.

Jason’s relationship with death is incredibly complicated, obviously. He has died, he has come back, and he now is willing to cross the line most other bats won’t and will kill people when he deems it necessary. I think thats something important though- he doesn’t just like... go around killing for fun (usually, some writers preboot made him a little murder happy but even then usually this still was vaguely followed) he kills people he thinks deserved it. Like, even looking back at the mess of Morrison’s Jason during Batman & Robin 2009, Jason was still trying to bring a sense of justice with who he was killing (”punishment that fits the crime”), it wasn’t killing for the sake of killing. He sees things in this kind of almost black and white ‘people who deserve it’ and ‘people who don’t’ way, and he has no problem dealing with death when it’s with the people he thinks deserve it. 

but when someone who doesn’t in his mind ‘deserve it’ gets killed? i think he just goes into total avoidance mode. throws himself into other things he’s doing, tries not to dwell on it too much no matter how much he still thinks about it (this is especially evident in him consistently telling people “i’m fine!” after what happened to Roy, despite bringing Roy up literally like every few issues for a WHILE after he died and very clearly still struggling with it, Artemis is the only one who gets through to him on it a little bit) 

but yeah, I just think that from Jason’s relatively unique situation of having been murdered, he knows what it’s like and he is perfectly fine wishing that on people he thinks are bad and deserve it, but it crushes him to imagine the people he loves and cares about having to experience something as painful as what he went through. not to mention the whole “I came back, why do I get a second chance at all this when they, who are a much better person than I am, probably won’t” mindset we get some implications of him having 

D (canon is a coward and won’t) 

hello DC i am once again insisting a batfam member is bisexual

CASS TIME

A (realistic headcanon): 

ok so we know cass likes ballet. thats canon. however i think we also should in general explore cass experiencing other types of dance/performance as well, be it herself as a performer or even just watching. like... god imagine her & like my brain just automatically for group activities puts her with tim steph and duke but also for this in particular I feel would be a Jason embraced activity, but like them going to see a broadway show or some other professional theatre or something, and her just being enthralled by the reading of body language of the performers! like again by any point in current stuff cass does have like, the ability to speak fine (reading still hard tho) but even so I think like. okay im a theatre kid if that’s not obvious from the Everything About Me but one thing I always do after seeing a show is ya know spend dinner afterwards discussing it with whoever i saw it with.

I just think that like, bringing those people i just mentioned to the table to discuss seeing a show after would be so FASCINATING because cass would bring this whole perspective of critiquing their acting on a whole different level- not based on how well they delivered lines out loud, but by what their body language was saying as they moved on stage. like im very amused by the idea of cass getting a totally different picture in her mind about what a character’s motivations were because she was paying way more attention to what their physicality was saying vs the words that were written and how they were delivered. i think the debates her and the others would have would be EPIC there. jason defending the text as it was written adamantly and cass being like ‘ok yeah sure but thats not what they did’

B (hilarious): 

cass having no concept of money because why would she bother? is SO funny to me. like it’s not that she couldn’t be reasonable if she wanted to, but like, she knows that the Waynes are well off so it’s not something she actually needs to be concerned about, so she just goes hog wild. takes steph out to fancy dinners and makes steph order for them since cass ya know doesn’t really read the menus, and steph’s like ‘jesus christ this costs-” “don’t worry about it” “but cass-” and she just holds up one of bruce’s credit cards and steph’s still like “but you don’t even know the range-” “it is fine”

bruce does not have the heart to tell her to stop

C (heart-crushing): 

i mean this is pretty much canon but especially now after death metal where she’s remembering, not just being told by a guy using weird alternate timeline technology, that she used to be an adopted member of the Wayne family... like that hurts so bad. To look at these people who have ya know been kind to her, Bruce has still been a father-like figure to her (i mean literally from the moment they met in New 52 canon during the flashback in Batman & Robin Eternal, where he’s telling her that she’s not a monster just because of what people forced her to do.... that she’s a hero... that hug.... dad behavior), and they do to some extent treat her as family... But to then really know, to feel and remember that she was actually adopted! She was a part of their family. To look at how she’s been calling herself Orphan while working with them this whole time... that’s so heartbreaking! I have cried about this idea so much! I want so badly a conversation between her and Bruce now where he offers to officially adopt her again, I need it so bad and if it doesn’t happen at some point in the next year or two I will be so distraught.

D (canon is a coward and won’t) 

i want an in-depth exploration of cass’ relationship to her own gender. being raised without language and you know with so much of her life being independent (remember: CASS RAN AWAY AROUND THE WORLD WITHOUT REALLY KNOWING ANY SPOKEN LANGUAGE) and outside of an organized society impressing too much of gender expectations on her, i feel like the way she experiences it would be very unique! like sure she’s so far been fine with being assigned ‘girl’ (ya know that comes with batgirl, and how people just automatically treated her based on how she looks) but in terms of gender expression and like her actual relationship with ‘traditional femininity’ etc like... because of how she was raised I just think she’d have a really different perspective on it that could be cool to explore, and I think she’d fall outside of the binary after she really thinks about how she identifies.

tldr on that: she/they nb cass is what i’m getting at here

[dreamescapeswriting]

M’s APPECIATION POST 2020

Totally stealing this idea from @channiewoo Love youuuuu!!

So I started this blog back in December of 2019 and since then my account has grown to a collection of 5K of you which is absolutely insane! I love you all so much, that includes my mutuals, my followers and my lovely anons! I started this blog as a way to just write for my friends and share my stories with them, I never would have thought it would take off the way it did. You've all helped me learn to grow and get a little better as a writer (I still don't think I'm good enough yet but I promise I'm trying) Thank you to those who are supporting me and help me get by! 💖💕 - doing this now because I will forget come new years eve

@lynnthevirgo:  We had a bit of a weird year this year with stopping talking because of ✨reasons that shan't be named✨ but I'm so glad I have my best friend back. You've taught me that it's not okay to go weeks/days/months on end without a break, to take my time and slowly start to learn to say the word ✨No✨ I know you don't like me giving you the credit for how I've turned out but it's true. You've helped me so much without even realizing it, all those times you've made me smile like a lil bitch. All those times I've woken up to a spam about your day, I always look forward to it since time zones can be whores and we live in different countries. I adore that we ARE THE SAME FUCKING PERSON! Just living in two different places. It's nice being able to talk to you about anything and everything and still feel comfortable around you. I LOVE YOU SO FUCKING MUCH! (Even if I was a terrible friend and thought your name was Lynn for THE LONGEST time)

@snowy-meowl: I know we don't get to talk much these days because you're busy with studies and your work but I hope that one day when we've both relaxed into our places we can talk like we used to. I hope you're getting enough sleep and hydrating, I miss telling you off for being up when I'm waking up (time zones again) You've been there for me from like...The very beginning, you always listen to my stupid rants and give me advice and I wish I could so something in return for that honestly. I love you darling! Keep spamming me with art! I want to see everything you create! I miss you!

@mikoto-ica-fics: Ahhhh honestly I say it every time I @ you but you're one of my many inspirations to keep my writing going. One of the many reasons I started writing for skz as well, I love all of your content it's always so damn good! Your writing is exceptional just like you are. You're one of the sweetest and funniest people I've had the pleasure of meeting on here. We don't talk a lot but when we do we're always simping over the men we love and I adore it. I know I can always just send you a meme or a blog post out of nowhere and we can chat about it so it's great! There are not that many people I can feel comfortable with and you just make me feel so relaxed! Love you gorgeous!!! Also I still live with Chav's and want to die but I will smack that dumb bitch man up at work for you any day of the week boo, just say the word 💖

@channiewoo asdfghjkl; honestly I never would have thought people with the same bias would get along so well 👀😂 Then I realized that I know have a Simping buddy who understands the pains that come along with having a bias like CHRISTOPHER-FUCKING-BANG and we can just spam one another with posts. I know you said the same thing for me but I feel super duper comfortable with talking to you which, again, is odd for me because my anxiety is always like "nah fam you cant send them a message they hate you/find you annoying" so I really like that I can be open with you. You're a great writer, much more than you give yourself credit for. I'm probably going to start spamming your ask box with morning messages whenever I can, reminding you to hydrate and take breaks and stuff! I hope we can get to know each other better too!!!

@dark-peaches: I know we haven't been speaking long but asfhgafknag you literally spam me with pictures of the men we simp for and I adore it. We talk about anything and everything, from puppies to your upcoming works and I just wanted to say it's great!! I can't wait to see what else you come up with in the future! Please don't stop writing!!! (Take breaks obviously but you know what I mean!)

I hate this because there are so many of you I want to thank but I already feel like it's going to be long so I'm going to tag a bunch of you! If I don't tag you please don't feel like I forgot you, I'm just bad at remembering URL's! But thank you to all of you, including those I haven't interacted with (for real though, you ever need me hit me up) Thank you guys for always supporting me and being kind! Love you 💕💖🥰❤🤧🤧🤧🤧 I’m all sappy and soft!

@spearb1108 @nightshade-minho @yoongisdumplingcheeks @taestannie @kneel-begyourpardon @sw33tnight @sweeneyblue1 @missmxqn @bisexualmess007 @killerharleyjaderose @hanjizung @decembermoonskz @slytherin-chan @mini-meanhoe @peachyhan @changbintrashbin @poppinpeaches @drumboydowoon @taeyohonic @joonbugsdimples @jeonssimp @anonymousrafa @jikooksgirl19 @yoongisqueenn @lordseochangbin 

[a-small-batch-of-dragons]

Don’t Worry

Prompt: okay so i found your quarantine drabble "it started with a flower" merlin series and can we pls have more of gwen and arthur being worry warts while merlin continues to not understand why their worried? bonus points if merlin is immortal/cant be killed by human injuries so he's more reckless and gwen and arthur are just like "oh for fucks sake please stop merlin if for no other reason then we are mortal and you're killing us w stress" we love self-sacrificing merlin and his worried lovers

Thanks for the prompt, babe! It was so nice to look back at the true mountain of drabbles on this account...still can't get over the fact that a drabble is SUPPOSED to be 100 words exactly...also SHAMELESS D20 reference because that's how we roll babey

Read on Ao3

Pairings: merthur, gwen/arthur, gwen/arthur/merlin

Warnings: none

Word Count: 5653

Merlin has lived through many, many things. He continues to live through many, many things.

The fact that he can do this does not prevent Gwen and Arthur from worrying when he makes some, frankly, quite questionable decisions.

Or, five times Merlin makes Arthur and Gwen worry, and one time they make him worry in return.

1: Poison

In hindsight, the visiting lord was absolutely trying to kill both Arthur and Gwen. The man turned up with all his servants and knights in armor. Even the servants, yes, in leather tunics and with many different squires juggling things that were definitely supposed to be kept hidden. Arthur, of course, didn’t realize this because he’s been trying to be more focused on his own presentation—at least that’s the excuse he gives Gwen—but Merlin knows better. He’s been doing this for a long time.

So when the lord makes a show of rising to his feet amidst a jubilant feast, raising a goblet high in the air, praising Camelot, her strength, and the power of a strong, worthy leader, Merlin has to hide the roll of his eyes when he deftly removes both Gwen and Arthur’s goblets from their grasps. Arthur opens his prat mouth to ask what the hell is going on, only for Merlin to raise an eyebrow, toast to the lord, and down the contents of both.

“Merlin!”

Lancelot is out of his chair in an instant, rushing across the hall to catch Merlin as he slumps, followed swiftly by Gwaine who bellows for Gaius. Percival and Elyan don’t hesitate to draw steel, watching as the servants of the visiting lord hold up their hands.

“My lord,” the visiting lord simpers, “I have absolutely no idea what could have—“

“Save it,” Arthur growls, standing, “you have brought poison into the heart of Camelot. You will explain, but I have no wish to hear your pathetic mumblings right now.”

He turns his back on the lord as the knights rush him, holding the others at bay as Arthur kneels down at Merlin’s side. Gwen rises as well, her chin aloft, looking every bit the queen she is.

Merlin, of course, can’t hear a damn thing past the roaring of blood in his ears. This one’s a nasty one—he can feel it burning as it goes down his throat, splitting off into slivers that find their way through his body, into his chest, into his arms, right down to the tips of his fingers. It feels as though he’s both deathly cold and about to sweat out every little bit of moisture in his body.

He can’t see much either, his eyes squeezing shut to deal with the pain, but he can sense the moving of blurry shapes above him. Probably Lancelot, probably Gwaine, probably not Gaius yet, he’s quite far away.

Oh, is he being lifted? He’s probably being lifted. Alright, so they’re taking him to Gaius this time. That’s new. Wow, is the walk to Gaius’s always this long? Yes? No? He’s having a bit of a hard time keeping track of time right now.

“Merlin? Merlin, can you hear me?”

“Yes,” Merlin tries to say, only for his throat to explode in agony again the second fresh air enters, so he just ends up making this horrible half-screech-groan sound.

“Don’t try and speak,” the voice orders, presumably doing something other than just standing there watching this happen, not that Merlin can feel anything, “just hold on. We’re doing our best.”

Merlin closes his eyes fully and relaxes as much as he can onto the bench. Which probably isn’t very much if he remembers how most of these poisons work. He breathes, reaches deep into his chest for his magic, and waits, letting the slow golden light work its way around his body, helped along by whatever Gaius is doing to him.

He opens his eyes an uncertain amount of time later, looking straight into the most disapproving eyebrow he’s gotten in a while.

He swallows, cracking a smile when his throat merely tingles.

“So,” he croaks, “did I miss the rest of the feast?”

“Oh, Merlin!”

Ah, there’s Gwen—she flies into his arms, wrapping her own tightly around his middle, squeezing and holding on for dear life. Oh, her face is wet, has she—

“Hey, hey,” he mumbles, clumsily trying to pat her back, “it’s okay, ‘m alright. You’re alright too.”

“Thanks to you,” Gwen says, drawing back and wiping her face only to join Gaius in staring at him with the face of a disappointed parent, “Merlin, what were you thinking?”

“I was thinking that I have a much better chance of surviving that than you and Arthur?”

Gwen bats his shoulder with her shawl. “That is beside the point and you know it. You scared us.”

“Sorry, but—“

“No, Merlin,” Gwen says sternly, “no ‘buts.’ I understand what you’re trying to do, but you know this isn’t good for you.”

“I don’t normally down poison on the regular, no.”

He grins, big and cheeky, right in her face. And to give her credit, she manages to gold that stern queenly façade for a few moments longer before she breaks, smiling and shaking her head and rushing right back in to hug him.

“I trust you unconditionally,” she murmurs, “I just wish you didn’t have to.”

“I have to keep you safe,” Merlin mumbles, still quite tired from fighting the poison, “and I’m alright. I’m always alright, you know that.”

“I know, Merlin.” She draws back and cups his face with a gentle hand. “But I worry.”

“So do I.”

“Not about yourself,” Gwen whispers, “not nearly as much as you should.”

“Well, when I start reacting to deadly things like a normal person, I’ll be more worried.”

2: Bandits

They’re just on a hunting trip. It’s not even a patrol. The knights aren’t even in all their capes and obvious things that flap about in the wind like signal flags saying ‘yes! Hello! We are here and we are obviously from Camelot! Please come and try to stab us!’ Seriously, Merlin’s going to have words with whoever decided that a mandatory part of the knights’ everyday patrol wear is going to be massive red things tied around their necks. It’s a serious thing that he’s run into at least four times. It’s getting a little ridiculous.

Anyway, they’re not wearing those this time, because this is a casual hunt for only the king and his most trusted. Also known as: Arthur the prat is getting tired of being a prat in the castle and wants to go be a prat outside.

Also also known as: court life is hard and the knights—and Merlin—can see Arthur getting tired. So they drag him out to the woods where he can’t escape any of their snark because “There’s no one else here but us, Princess, get used to it.”

Merlin knows Arthur well enough to know he’s secretly very, very grateful for it.

You wanna know what he’s probably not grateful for? The inability of one of their hunts to go without running into at least one mess of bandits after an easy raid.

One hunt, just one. Please.

Merlin doesn’t even like hunts. He just likes not being in the citadel all the time.

He ducks swiftly behind a tree as a bandit takes a wild swing at him with his sword, getting it lodged in the trunk next to him. Merlin’s eyes go wide as the bandit rips it out again with a vicious snarl, drool leaking from his lips as he grins angrily at Merlin. His nose wrinkles as he smells the bandit’s breath.

“Ugh, you’re worse than Arthur in the morning.”

He uses the bandit’s momentary confusion to blast him across the clearing into a tree, knocking him out.

“So Arthur in the morning, huh?”

Merlin rolls his eyes as Gwaine blocks another sword. “Listen, if you want to try and get the prat out of bed, you be my guest.”

“And deprive you of that honor?” Gwaine smirks. “Not on your life.”

Merlin opens his mouth to make some snappy remark when he notices four bandits rushing at them over Gwaine’s shoulder.

“Look out!”

He sends Gwaine to the side with a blast of magic, ignoring the shout of protest. The bandits get closer, swords raised high, one of them letting out a vicious cackle.

Merlin sighs. Honestly.

He raises his hand and sends them all flying backward, smiling a little at the way the vicious cackle turns into a whine that would’ve made the runt of the new litter of dogs ashamed. The bandits lie on the ground, dazed, swords lying all across the clearing.

“Merlin!”

Merlin glances over, seeing Arthur rushing at him. He barely has time to turn before Arthur’s bowling into him, hugging him so tightly he panics for a second that Arthur’s under some sort of enchantment trying to kill him. Only to realize no, this is just his prat hugging him because he’s scared.

“I’m fine, Arthur.”

“There were four of them, you—clot pole!”

“That’s my word.”

“Yes, and it suits you perfectly! Merlin, you could’ve been killed!”

Merlin makes a show of looking around at himself, still fully intact, then back up at a panting Arthur. “I think I’m all in one piece, sire.”

“Don’t you ‘sire’ me, Merlin, you—“

“Did Arthur just admit that he likes it when I don’t refer to him with the proper titles?” Merlin glances around at the other knights that are trying valiantly not to laugh. “Did I just hear that right?”

“That’s what I heard.”

“Me too.”

“I mean we all knew it.”

“It’s taken him this long to figure it out.”

Leon simply shrugs. That man’s ability to keep a straight face is something Merlin will always respect and never understand. But he has gotten very good at spotting the way Leon will wink surreptitiously at him when he’s amused. Like now.

“Alright, alright, enough,” Arthur mutters, sheathing his sword and wrapping his arms tightly around Merlin again. “Don’t do that.”

“What, take care of all of our enemies really easily?”

“Scare me.”

“And now you’re admitting that you get scared when I’m in danger?”

“Only because I know Gwen would have my head.”

“Ah, yes, because Gwen is like that.”

Arthur glares at him. There’s a flash of something behind his eyes. Merlin spots it.

“I’m fine,” he murmurs, too quiet for the others to hear, “and I’m sorry for scaring you.”

“You’d better be.”

“Alright, lovebirds,” Gwaine calls loudly to various laughs, “let’s go. There are still tracks here.”

Arthur looks back at Merlin. “You’re riding next to me.”

“You say that as if I don’t already ride next to you.”

“Shut up.”

3: Fall

Okay so listen: when you chase people around the castle, they inevitably look for a way out. And if they’re high up, they’re going to go for a window if they get desperate enough.

Yes? Everyone on the same page?

Wonderful.

So Merlin’s currently falling out of a window.

In his defense, there was a rogue sorcerer who hadn’t realized that the ban on magic had been lifted and Uther isn’t king anymore skulking around the citadel. Merlin’s best guess is that they were imprisoned somewhere and only just got free, otherwise they’d’ve known. And, well, they tried to explain that magic is legal now—he’s so proud of Gwen and Arthur, really.

Someone just burst into their chambers in the middle of the knight and Gwen had been out of bed, offering him a drink and sitting down while Arthur asked the guards if they could bring food. They’d told him the ban had been lifted and that he was free to practice magic now. Then Merlin had shown up and asked what was going on and apparently, they’d taken it as a challenge? That Merlin—the Court Sorcerer—was going to arrest them for practicing magic.

In their defense, it was the middle of the night. Not in their defense, come on.

So they’d run, promising to bring down the walls of the castle. Merlin had rolled his eyes because he just got here, and taken off after him. They’d run around the top floors of the castle for a while, trying to figure out first, where the stairs were, and second, what the bloody hell was going on.

Then the sorcerer had jumped out a window. Sure. Alright.

Unluckily for him, when he’d broken the glass, a large shard had decided to make its home in his chest and he was dead before he hit the ground. Merlin, not realizing precisely what the plan was—when had he ever?—jumped after him, only to realize that there is in fact, no courtyard over here, just empty air until the cold stone of the square below.

So, falling.

It’s surprisingly peaceful, as a way to go. Time to enjoy the view, a good reminder that they should really make sure there’s someone at the front gate, and Merlin simply closes his eyes and concentrates.

There.

At the last possible minute, he slows, reaching almost a stop, before letting himself drop the last few feet to land harmlessly on the ground. Well. That could’ve gone better.

“Merlin!”

“Right on time,” he mutters, getting himself to his feet, and brushing off the little pieces of glass, looking up to see Gwen leaning out of the window.

“Yes, Your Majesty?”

“Oh, thank god,” she calls, “you’re alright. Now get up here, this instant.”

He grins, sweeping into a low bow before heading up the stairs. He opens the door to their quarters and is promptly yanked inside and into an embrace.

“Hello, Gwen,” he says softly, “it’s good to see you too.”

“Good to see—Merlin,” Gwen scolds, "you could’ve been hurt.”

“But I wasn’t.”

“That doesn’t make it any better!” Gwen wipes her face and oh…oops.

“I’m alright Gwen,” he says quietly, “really.”

It’s late. It’s the middle of the night and it’s dark and Gwen just had to put on every single ounce of royal charm she has, and watch Merlin take a fall that would’ve killed pretty much everyone else. As he watches, her queenly mask starts to break as she keeps a hold of his sleeve, dragging him to the table and setting a plate of food aside, glaring at him.

“Are you hurt?”

“Not at all, my lady.”

“Don’t. Not now, Merlin. Not while I’m this worried.”

“I wasn’t trying to,” he demurs, lifting his hands in surrender, “but really, Gwen, I’m not hurt. I’ve been practicing that spell, it won’t—“

“You’ve been practicing?” Merlin winces as Gwen draws herself up taller. “So you regularly throw yourself from great heights?”

“No, I just jump off my bed.”

“Off your bed?”

“The point is that I slow immediately when the spell takes effect,” Merlin says, “so I don’t need very much distance from the floor.”

She folds her arms and stares at him. “So what you’re saying is this is the first time you’ve done it from a great height and you weren’t sure it was going to work?”

Merlin’s hesitation gives her all the answers she needs.

“Gods, Merlin,” she mumbles, slumping into a chair and covering her face, “you’re going to scare me to death one of these days.”

“Nah. I’ll save you from that.”

“How, by doing some equally death-defying stunt?”

Merlin grins and takes her hand. “No. By not letting you see it.”

“Merlin…”

He relents, opening his arms and letting her give him another hug. He squeezes back firmly, trying to communicate that he’s here, he’s safe, and it’s okay.

“I’m glad you’re alright,” Gwen whispers eventually, “and I’m glad that everything…worked out. We do need to make sure that the sorcerers no longer feel the need to live in fear…”

Merlin chuckles as he feels Gwen’s brow furrow against his shoulder, probably already drafting things to do.

“Not tonight, Your Majesty,” he scolds gently, pushing her toward the bed, “you need rest.”

“Mm.”

“Where’s Arthur?”

“Probably looking for you,” Gwen murmurs as she slides back beneath the covers, “so you have to stay up until he gets back.”

“…and so he can yell at me too, hmm?”

Gwen snuggles into her pillow and smiles.

4: Stab

So.

Uh, Merlin doesn’t really know how they got here this time.

Because—right, well, it’s not really a secret that Merlin is very close to both Gwen and Arthur. It’s just not. Anyone with a pair of eyes who can walk into Camelot and see them is going to figure it out. Even Uther realized it.

Merlin will never forget the way Arthur burst out laughing when he told him what Uther said to Merlin that day before the tournament, looking up with tears in his eyes and just managing to gasp: “you’re telling me that you and I got my father’s blessing before Gwen and I even started seeing each other?”

Yes. Yes, he is.

Anyway, the point is, Gwen, Merlin, Arthur, they’re very close.

Also something that should be fairly obvious to anyone who’s been to Camelot in the last little bit of time is that one: magic is legal. Two: Merlin is Court Sorcerer.

Get it? Wonderful. So.

The man who is currently holding Merlin hostage with a sword to his throat knows that Merlin is important to Gwen and Arthur. He doesn’t seem to realize that Merlin is Court Sorcerer.

How those two things are not the first two things he realized Merlin does not understand. Honestly, he’s going to chalk that up to why he’s too startled by the fact that he’s got people coming at him with a sword to do anything about it. The sheer inability of those facts to reconcile in his brain prevents him from taking any action.

Honestly, he’s still figuring that out. Enough so that it takes him a while to realize that Leon is desperately trying to signal him and ask if he’s alright.

He gives back the okay and Leon’s expression morphs into one of soft exasperation. To everyone else, it probably doesn’t look like Leon’s face has changed at all, but they haven’t spent several council meetings with the man trading insults only through shifts in micro-expressions.

It’s quite entertaining, especially when they start to get really, really creative.

Anyway. Sword. Throat. Yes.

He’s not sure why currently being held hostage. Someone who wants something, probably. That’s generally why people get taken hostage, right? The sword presses a little closer and Merlin makes an effort to focus.

“Do this,” Arthur warns, his own sword out, “and you will never leave Camelot alive.”

“What good is Camelot,” the man scoffs, “if it allows for the devilish act of witchcraft and sorcery that will poison it from the inside?”

“You’re wrong.”

“Maybe,” the man snarls, spittle flying from his lips, “but not nearly as stupid as you.”

Arthur glances at Merlin. Merlin nods.

“Let him go,” Arthur says again, “and this might yet end well.”

The man throws his head back and cackles, the sword nudging insistently at his throat. Merlin winces. That was loud.

“This won’t end well,” the man says through his giggles, “and you know it.”

“Then let him go.”

“Alright,” the man snickers, “but you’ll have to give me a head start.”

Gwaine snarls, even as Arthur holds firm.

“I make you no promises.”

“I know. That’s why I’m giving myself a head start.”

Merlin’s about to wonder what the hell that means only for the sword to drive into his stomach.

Ah. That’s not ideal.

He slumps to the ground as the man lets him go, hearing the screams from the servants gathered in the hall and the shouts from the knights. He feels the breeze as they rush past him, two remaining behind to immediately put pressure on the wound and get him upright, wrapping his stomach tightly and promising that he’s going to be alight.

“‘Lyan?”

“Yeah, Merlin,” Elyan mutters, “it’s me. Leon’s here too, we’ve got you.”

“You’ll be alright, yes?” Leon whips off the bloodied tunic. “You will be fine.”

“Sit m’ up.”

They do, propping him up against the wall as the servants quickly rush for Gaius, for hot water, for bandages. Someone—maybe Malwen—sets a bowl at Leon’s elbow, followed by the quick assurances that Gaius is on his way.

Merlin closes his eyes and concentrates, trying to remember the few times Gaius tried to teach him about basic anatomy. Listen, it’s not that he wasn’t paying attention, it’s just that he—

Yeah, no, he wasn’t paying much attention.

Listen, like…three different people were trying to kill Arthur that day. He was preoccupied.

Stab wound. Right.

Merlin takes a deep breath, ignoring the way the breath aches and wheezes as it travels into him, and starts to gently draw magic from the well in his chest toward the stab wound. He feeds it slowly, trying not to overexert himself, just enough to staunch and stop the bleeding until Gaius can get here.

Something clatters to the floor next to him and he barely looks over enough to see Arthur.

“Stay still,” Arthur murmurs frantically, fussing with his tunic, “you’ll be alright Merlin, I promise, you’re going to be alright.”

Merlin knows, but he’s busy right now, so he can’t really talk back.

“It’s going to be alright,” Arthur repeats, over and over, “Merlin, you’re going to be alright.”

He manages to look over, catching sight of Arthur’s hair a mess, his eyes wild, his mouth a hard line. Arthur glances up from his slightly trembling hands and catches his gaze, doing his best to put on a brave smile. He reaches out and cups Merlin’s face gently.

“It’s going to be alright,” he says softly, speaking as much to both of them as he can, “you’re going to be alright, Gaius will fix you up, and then I can worry about how to make sure you’re safe, so this never happens again.”

His mouth quirks when something flits across Merlin’s face.

“If you try and tell me you can take care of yourself,” he admonishes gently, “I am going to remind you that you currently have quite the stab wound.”

One that Merlin is handling quite well, actually, thank you very much.

“I know you’d rather it be you than us,” Arthur whispers, laying his forehead against Merlin’s, “but you—you can’t just let this happen to you, Merlin, you’ll…”

He swallows, his eyes drifting shut.

“…you’ll break my heart.”

A surge of magic shoots through Merlin at Arthur’s hushed confession, filling the wound with a burning glow. Merlin leans forward as much as he can, resting his own weight on the wall and on Arthur. Arthur holds him gladly, muttering that he can’t wait until Merlin’s better so he can scold him for being so reckless.

Well, when Merlin figures out how the man didn’t realize he was magic, he’ll have one hell of a defense. Who knows, Arthur might get a kick out of it too.

5: Plague

At some point, Merlin thinks as he heaves another stone out of the way, we’re going to stop coming across cursed objects. There has to be a limit. There just has to be.

This one has a plague attached to it because of course, it does. The entire citadel had been overrun with shadow demons that could only be seen by one person, everyone jumping at every little sound, unsure of whether they were seeing real people or the figments of their nightmares. What made things far worse is that some of them could be seen by multiple people and some of them couldn’t. So you could never be sure whether people would believe what you were seeing.

Someone called this the Plague of the Shadow Cat.

Gaius had gone into the books, trying to figure out a solution. Turns out the only way was to go to this cavern out in the middle of nowhere and destroy these four totems that allowed the Shadow Cat passage, in order to break the curse. The problem was that the cavern was in the middle of a massive forest that no one wanted to go close to.

Merlin had sighed and packed his bags.

As it turns out, the forest was designed to keep people out of it—reasonable—and used magic to twist someone’s fears to keep them at bay. You know what Merlin has? Magic.

It was easier than it would’ve been for anyone else, surely, which is good. What isn’t good is that Merlin still has to survive going through this massive forest. He’s had enough of dried meat and berries for a long time, thank you very much.

After about a day or two of walking and not getting lost, he’s just being thorough, he reaches the entrance of the cavern. It’s piled high with rocks from what looks like a collapse, and starts trying to get them out of the way. Unfortunately, most of his magic is going to keeping the nightmares at bay, meaning he can’t really risk using it to get these stones out of his way lest he let the nightmares in.

He’s had enough nightmares for a lifetime already.

He grunts as he heaves another one out of the way. Honestly. Is there a checklist he can look at with all the cursed objects in the world? They’ve got to be at least halfway done at this point, come on. It’s been years.

At last, he manages to get the stones out of the way and ventures into the cavern. Around the twists and turns he reaches the center, seeing the four totems. He snaps his fingers to create a light, peering at each one. It seems as if he’s just going to have to disenchant them. Well, that won’t be too hard.

And…it isn’t. Huh. That’s a little anti-climactic.

He’s sure if he had to battle his way past his greatest fears and the Shadow Cat was actually here fighting him, this would be a lot harder. But, it’s not, so here he is, all done. Now he just has to get back through the forest. Ugh.

Merlin rides back into Camelot to see the people in the streets, happy, content, not afraid. He smiles, letting their joy wash some of the forests off of him. He slides off Cara and puts her away, wiping her down and giving her as many treats as the stable master will let him. He makes it back inside, to Gaius’s chambers, ready to throw open the door triumphantly and announce he’s fixed it!

The second he opens it to see Gwen and Arthur he freezes.

“…hello.”

“Hello, Merlin,” Arthur says softly, and oh shit he’s in trouble, “did you travel well?”

“A little damp, if I’m being…” He trails off when Arthur shoots him a look. “Yes. I did.”

Arthur nods sharply, leaning against the table and folding his arms.

“The curse is broken,” he tries, letting the door shut behind him, “and I don’t think it’ll ever come back.”

“That’s good, Merlin,” Arthur says in a tone of voice that suggests anything but, “that’s very good.”

Merlin nods hesitantly, glancing at Gwen. Gwen doesn’t look back at him, her eyes fixed on the vase of flowers in front of her. She withdraws one and holds it gently in her hands, turning toward Merlin, expressionless. Merlin fights the urge to flinch as she finally looks up at him.

“Do you know,” she says and this time Merlin does flinch, Gwen’s never sounded that cold before, “what happened the last time you vanished without telling us?”

Merlin’s heart drops to the pit of his stomach.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh, no.

“I’m sorry,” he says, starting forward, “I didn’t realize—I—“

“No, Merlin,” Gwen says, still cold, “you don’t realize.”

“We trust you, Merlin,” Arthur continues, “but that doesn’t mean that you can just leave, in the middle of a plague, on a mission that could get you killed without saying goodbye.”

“You don’t get to decide that it’s worth it,” Gwen says before Merlin can interrupt, “and you certainly don’t get to decide that we don’t deserve a chance to say goodbye.”

Merlin deflates, their words striking his chest with such ferocity that for a moment, he wonders if this is the fear he’s meant to face. “I’m…I’m sorry, I just…I knew I could do it.”

He closes his eyes. “I have to protect Camelot, protect you.”

“We know, Merlin,” Gwen says, her voice finally softening just a little, “but you don’t realize that we have to protect you too.”

Arthur walks forward, lifting Merlin’s chin. Merlin stares at him, desperately wanting Arthur to smile. Something.

“You’re the most powerful sorcerer to walk the earth,” Arthur says instead, “but you’re still our Merlin. So we worry.”

“I know.”

“So,” Arthur says, giving him a gentle nudge, “don’t do that.”

“You may be nearly immortal, but we’re not,” Gwen adds, coming over to take his hand too, “and you will give us more reason to stress than any of the things you stop put together.”

Merlin looks back and forth between the two of them. “So you’re not…angry?”

“Oh, of course we are.”

Merlin winces, only for Arthur to pull him into a tight hug, his head tucking over Merlin’s shoulder.

“Completely furious,” he murmurs, nuzzling into Merlin’s neck, “aren’t we, Gwen?”

“Absolutely.” Merlin feels Gwen wrap her arms around him as well. “Totally and utterly furious.”

Merlin wriggles halfheartedly in their grasp. “I’m not getting out of this anytime soon, am I?”

“No. This is your punishment. Stay put.”

“…fine.”

+1: Cold

“No, Arthur,” Merlin grunts, shoving the prat back into bed, “stay, I will get you the soup.”

Arthur pouts, looking every bit a sad golden puppy in his read blanket as Merlin bustles about the room. “I can stand, Merlin.”

“No, you can’t, you’re sick. Now shush and eat.”

From the other room comes a sneeze that is far too close to the door.

“Gwen, you’d better be in bed when I come in there!”

He hears the quick pitter-patter of footsteps as he crosses the room to the other chambers, hands on his hips as Gwen glances up, guiltily letting the covers drop on top of her.

“I’m in bed,” she says, holding up her hands, “see?”

“Yes, I can see,” Merlin huffs, “but you have to stay there. You’re sick.”

“It’s just a cold, Merlin, I’m—I’m—“

Gwen is cut off by another spectacular sneeze.

“…handkerchief?”

Merlin rolls his eyes and offers her one, watching as she blows her nose and shakes out her curls. If Arthur’s the puppy, she’s the kitten, startling herself with the force of her own sneezes.

“What were you so desperate to get out of bed for?”

“The book on my desk,” Gwen mumbles, reaching for it, “I wanted to—“

“Keep working.”

“No!” At Merlin’s knowing look, she makes a face. “…maybe.”

Merlin sighs. “I will get you a book, but you promised you wouldn’t try to work like this.”

“But I’m fine.”

“Yes, and I notice your sneezes didn’t interrupt you this time.”

“Merlin, I am alright.”

“Yes, so let’s have you stay in bed and rest until you’re better, hmm?”

He hears a clang from the other room. He narrows his eyes at Gwen who blinks innocently at him. Without breaking eye contact, he waves his hand.

“Hey!”

“Get your arse back in bed, sire.”

“I’m fine, Merlin.”

Merlin raises his eyebrows at Gwen. “Will you stay while I get your husband back in bed, please?”

“…if you bring me the book on the desk, I will.”

Merlin glances over and waves his hand. Gwen’s poetry book—not her work book—flies into his hand and he gives it to her.

“All yours.”

“Merlin, that’s not—“

“You surely weren’t trying to work were you?” He raises his eyebrows. “Because that would be a bad idea.”

Gwen pops open the book and buries her nose in it. “…thank you, Merlin.”

“You are most welcome. Now you,” he announces, striding back to see Arthur trying to open the now magically locked door, “will go back to bed.”

“Gaius said we were fine, Merlin,” Arthur pouts, “so we can go.”

“Gaius also said that I was in charge, so you’ll go back to bed.”

“Well, I’m the King.”

“And I’m the Court Sorcerer.” Merlin lifts his hand, letting a little of his magic swirl around his hand. “Which means you should get back in bed.”

“Threatening a king is treason, Merlin.”

“Yes, yes, and I’m sure the knights would be thrilled,” Merlin replies dryly, shooing Arthur back to bed, “now you will stay put.”

He doesn’t quite swaddle Arthur in the blanket but it is a close thing. Arthur just grumbles a little, reaching out and grabbing Merlin’s tunic and dragging him down onto the bed too. “Then you stay.”

“I have to get your medicine.”

“Have the guards do it.” Arthur snuggles into his tunic. “You stay.”

Merlin resigns himself to his fate, curling around his king. Arthur rumbles happily, nuzzling into Merlin’s neck.

“That’s the last time I let you two go out for picnics in the moonlight,” Merlin grumbles to himself, “look at what’s happened to you.”

“Now you know how we feel,” Arthur mumbles sleepily.

“You realize that we are now even for all of the things I’ve done, then.”

“Oh, no. Not even close.”

“Shut up and go to sleep, sire.”

[justkimberley]

Ok look, I don't excuse what Bobby/Trevor did in cannon. BUT I just had this idea for something that might make it less horrible, and also kind of makes sense. Also this is going to be long and I'm on mobile so I'm sorry I cant put in a keep reading link.

TW: this will probably have some not at all researched psychological theory and also probably some mental health things mentioned. It will not get super dark though, nothing outside of the cannon deaths.

Ok so here's the thing, having traumatic experiences can lead to memory loss right?

So, Bobby is the one that discovers the boys dealing with the severe food poisoning/whatever was in those hotdogs

He runs to the nearest place with a phone and calls the ambulance

He is the one in the ambulance with them all as they die

People always talk about who was the last member of sunset curve alive? Luke, Alex, or Reggie? Who was the one that was all alone when the other two boys died? None. None of them were alone as they died because Bobby was with them the entire time. He was the one that was left alone

He watched as all three of his friends died one by one in the back of the ambulance (he convinced ambulance workers that he was the closest thing any of the boys had to family (at that point he was))

By the time they get to the hospital, all of the boys have been declared dead

The hospital staff call Bobby's parents to come get him (because he did still have a relationship with his parents) and then Bobby's parents talk to the police (because the police have to investigate this incident) and tell them how to contact all the other boys parents (they knew that the boys weren't in contact with their parents, but surely their parents would care that they had died?)

After they deal with all of it, Bobby's parents take him home and try to talk to him but he's in shock (obviously)

Bobby says hes just tired and want to sleep, they let him because he definitely needs time to process (Bobby's parents were hippies? That is very possible)

When Bobby wakes up the next morning he doesn't remember anything about the band. All he can remember is that his best friends are dead. He doesn't even remember how they died.

His parents send him to therapy and basically they find out that he has PTSD from the whole event (and also survivors guilt) they think that if they play some of the bands music for him it might help him remember

He eventually starts remembering the songs and then eventually starts making music again

Since none of their parents were super involved with the band nobody knows who actually wrote the songs (and our boys didnt think they needed to put writers credits on their demos, they all knew Luke was the writer) so they just assume Bobby wrote the songs for whatever reason.

Bobby starts performing at open mic nights as part of his therapy and he plays sunset curve songs because that's all he knows

He gets signed by a record exec that makes him change his name because Bobby isn't "rock and roll enough"

Bobby gets famous and as the years go by he starts remembering more songs

Its 10 years into his career before he remembered that Luke wrote all of the songs, but at this point it's too late to turn back

And then he sees the boys on Carrie's computer and he can feel that those are his old band mates so he gets the tickets to the orpheum

When he sees them performing he knows that its them and he is suddenly hit with the rest of the memories of them that had been blocked out for years (including the night when the boys died)

He doesn't understand how or why they're here, hes still not sure if this is just a weird sort of flashback remembering or not but he thinks it's happening in the present.

All he knows for sure is that he needs to talk to Julie. As soon as possible.

[syms-things-5]

Clear The Area - Chapter Sixteen

Previous Chapter Here

Warnings: Language, scenes that are NSFW, angst, slightly annoying people

Tags: @kelbabyblue​ @jennmurawski13​

Notes: I am so sorry for being rubbish in posting this. I started writing it weeks ago and then work took over my life. Thanks for sticking with me and I hope this was worth the wait (somewhat).

Chapter Sixteen

“So, what do you want to do now?” Audrey asked, hands firmly planted on the Diner table in front of her. She had the same careful posture and look on her face as when she had to relay bad news to a family. It certainly wasn’t providing much comfort now. 

She tilted her head to one side and offered a soft smile to try and assuage Sarah’s anxiety but it was no use. This kind of information wasn’t deserving of a casual reaction. She’d pretty much dropped a bomb on her friend and she was expected to deal with the fall out. To Audrey’s credit, though, she appeared to be taking it in her stride which was a bit surprising to say the least. 

“Honestly? I have no idea.” Sarah shook her head despondently before her forehead connected with the table. 

Three Days Earlier… 

The convenient thing about being a nurse and working long and tiring hours, Sarah found, was that you almost always had the perfect excuse for getting out of plans. Or not replying to messages you were deliberately avoiding. “Sorry I didn’t reply earlier, I lost track of time” quickly becomes an acceptable code for “Sorry I didn’t reply earlier, I didn’t have a clue what to say.” 

No one would ever dare call you out on it. 

It had been almost a week since Sarah had arrived home and the questions from her family had yet to subside. For someone quiet and relatively lacking in a desire for attention, people sure did have a vested interest in her whereabouts. They wanted to know about the exam and when she was likely to hear the outcome. They wanted to know what would happen next and whether she could appeal it if she didn’t like the results. They wanted to know whether she would try again or if she was just happy doing what she was doing now, and please can you call your grandmother because she wants to hear about it, too. 

She was exhausted. 

But dealing with those messages was an absolute dream compared to messages Chris was sending her. She could copy and paste generic responses to all of the above but with Chris? That was going to take some more thought. 

Chris: You’re so pretty. I miss your face so much x 

Chris: …..And so many other things x 

Chris: It’s not the same waking up without you x Chris: Do you remember me waking you up last week………? 

Chris: Did you pick up my sunglasses?? I cant find them anywhere…….. 

Chris: Just found them! Duh! 

Chris: Have you seen the Last Week Tonight? I think you’d love this one……. X 

Chris: I’m thinking of getting a dog x 

Chris: Can you just tell me ur OK so I can stop worrying?

After coming home late one evening following a long shift, she found herself face-to-face with the most beautiful array of flowers she had ever seen. Sunflowers, glorious white roses, gerberas, tulips, peonies… Truly, indescribably beautiful. 

“Someone sure is popular.” Shanna called from where she was sat at the dining table. “They got delivered earlier today. I don’t mean to be a bad feminist but you should probably think about putting out for Greg ‘cos if you don’t, you can let him know that I am definitely up for it.” 

Sarah side-eyed her friend and tried to locate the card in amongst the substantial spray. “I can’t remember the last time someone bought me flowers that wasn’t my Dad.” Shanna barked out a laugh as Sarah pulled the card out, recognising the handwriting instantly. 

I really miss you x

Now she felt bad for her lazy response to him earlier that afternoon. The second-hand embarrassment was creeping up on her after she tried to casually allay his concerns with an “All good!! x” and regretted the double exclamation marks. That was bound to give the game away. 

She regarded the flowers standing proudly on ceremony and waiting for her to smile at them in utter joy so they knew they had done their job. They deserved that at least, but all she could manage was a sigh and a somewhat reluctant smile at their glowing beauty. 

“I mean there’s certainly no denying he likes you a lot.” Shanna crept up behind her and narrowly missed Sarah scrunching up the card in her hands. “You don’t buy flowers like this without making your intentions clear.” 

“Who says he has intentions?” Sarah playfully jostled with Shanna. “This isn’t Downton Abbey.” 

“Oh, come on!” Shanna regaled in disbelief, running her fingers over the large, open sunflowers. “You can’t fool me, Bernette. These are statement flowers if ever I saw them. He wants you baaaad.” 

She walked back into the kitchen and Sarah could hear her locate and clang the only two vases they owned in the apartment. Neither of them had much need for vases and even if they did, one thing that made them good flatmates was their mutual distaste for needless crockery lying around the place. Neither appreciated dusting as a chore; it was much easier this way. 

“Fuck. I’ll have to ask Mom to bring one over.” Shanna said. “We’re gonna need more to cope with that.” 

As expected, Chris was pretty proud of himself. She couldn’t deny him that as he saw the flowers blossom in and around her apartment. He had popped by under the premise of annoying his sister for the evening but flirtatious glances across the lounge gave away his true intentions. 

“You should be flattered, I don’t normally do flowers.” He joked when he sidled up next to her in the kitchen, tossing an apple back and forth between his hands. 

“You don’t “normally” do anything.” 

“Not true. I once sent a girl a peace lily that came in that nice, tall glass vase. That big blue thing.” 

“Wasn’t that just to replace the one you smashed at her mom’s place when you were trying to sneak out?” 

Chris froze on the spot, staring at her. “I actually can’t remember now, was it? Scott ordered it for me.” 

Sarah rolled her eyes before continuing to tidy around him, Chris evidently deciding not to make her job any easier by moving out of her way. It was the equivalent of him lazily lifting his feet off the floor while she tried to vacuum underneath. 

“Seriously, though, did you like them?” 

“They’re lovely, thank you." Sarah moved to the other side of the kitchen as she continued to dry and place back some wine glasses in the cupboard. “You really didn’t need to do that. It was kinda hard to explain them away.” 

“What did you say?” He rubbed at the back of his neck, turning serious for a second. 

“I didn’t really say anything. She just assumed they were from Greg.” She leaned against the counter across the room from him. He could make out the worry in her eyes. “Which makes me feel like I’ve lied to her twice.” 

It was hard to sleep that night. Chris had somehow got her to agree to meeting him the next day so they could talk some more but she refrained from agreeing to meet him at his place after work. She knew how that was likely to end and she couldn’t face being with him in that way right now so he had finally relented and agreed to a simple coffee at lunch instead. He was less than pleased when he left and Shanna spent half an hour complaining through the bathroom door about his “issues” as Sarah was trying to clean up before heading to bed. 

“He’s always been an entitled asshole.” She started before ending with a one-two punch of “He’s not happy unless he’s in control” and “I wish for once he would experience being told ‘no’” She wasn’t wrong but she also didn’t need to hear just how right she was in this moment either. 

*

A couple of things happened in relatively quick succession. 

The coffee was every bit as awkward as she knew it would be, only not exactly for the reasons she had anticipated. It was times like this she relished Chris’s ability to have it all figured out and to be able to express himself clearly and succinctly, but she should have known better. As a result, Sarah was left more anxious and unsure of what it was she was feeling. Guilt she figured, not just for the knowledge that she was lying to her best friend but also for leaving the man sat in front of her looking like he had not slept properly in days. 

He cleared his throat and shifted to sit up straighter in his seat. They were sat in the corner of the diner, as always, and barring a couple of people having a relatively animated conversation a few booths away from them – relatives of patients, she figured – it was pretty quiet for this time of the day. 

“So, time to be honest but there was a reason I sent those flowers.” He had the look of someone who had just been told off by a teacher. “I sort of thought you might have seen something but I guess it went away. I think Matt dealt with it OK.” 

Sarah put her cup down and looked at him quizzically. “What do you mean?”

“OK, don’t get mad but there may have been a photograph.” He barely looked up as he spoke. “Of us at the hotel.” 

Her eyes widened at him and she was about to panic out loud until she realised where she was. “A photograph?” 

“Well, technically a photo of me and an ‘unidentified female companion’.” He deadpanned making air quotes like it was nothing before finally making eye contact with her. He frowned but she knew it wasn’t directed at her. He looked down at the table again and then back at her when he realised she hadn’t said anything. “Don’t worry. It’s sorted. I explained things. I just figured someone might have put it on social media or something but I guess I owe him one this time, which he’ll love no doubt.” 

“Oh.” She knew it was a pathetic response. “What do you mean you explained things?” 

“It looks like a fan spotted me and took a picture at the right time. For them, obviously, not for me. Or us. A magazine picked it up. You actually look a little blurry so technically it could be anyone.” 

“Unless you know me. It’ll probably be really obvious then.” 

“Well now you don’t need to worry because it’s gone away. We’ll call it one of our nine lives.” He sipped his coffee again, slowly regaining his confidence now that he knew she wasn’t mad with him. She began rubbing her temple, a predictable move for when she was feeling stressed out and he realised he’d crossed a line. “Sorry.” 

“Maybe I should seek a career in espionage. Clearly I can hide in plain sight.” She finally spoke and he smiled softly at her in a way that would unnerve her under certain circumstances but for obvious reasons wasn’t having that same effect right in this moment. 

“Trust me, OK? I know how these things play out and people forget quickly. I’ve done this hundreds of times.” He was about to sip his coffee again until he was met with a sterner look from across the table. “That was supposed to sound reassuring but I, er, misjudged it.” 

“Does Matt know about me?” 

A few seconds of silence passed between them, Chris looking slightly to his left before making eye contact with her and pursing his lips, giving her the answer. 

He leaned in and spoke as quietly as he could manage. “But he won’t say anything. He’s a good guy and he looks out for me.” \

“Yeh, I know.” She nodded. “Just doesn’t feel great at the moment.” 

“You know I would love it if you talked to me about this.” He lowered his head so much he was now practically touching the table with his chin. “I feel like ever since we got back from New York things have been really weird and normally I would think I was overthinking things but I don’t think I am, am I?” 

She turned her cup a few times before she felt his hand connect with hers. She saw how small she looked in his and when she looked back up at him, she was met with his doe-eyed expression. The expression which all you could do was smile back, which she did, and she was glad she did because he seemed to lose some weight from his shoulders at that point. His fingers lightly rubbed across hers and she enjoyed the warmth spreading across her skin and up her forearms. 

“I’m sorry,” She spoke after a minute. “I didn’t mean to cause you any stress.” 

Surprised by her apology, he leaned back in his chair. “You don’t need to apologise to me, Bernette. I get it. It’s strange.” 

“I guess I just didn’t know where things would go after, y’know, everything. I wasn’t sure what to say.” 

“Well, I know where I want things to go but something tells me we’re not on the same page.” 

More silence. 

“Look, I get it, OK? Nothing about this is straight-forward.” He rubbed a hand over his beard and over the back of his hair. “But we’re doing OK, right? I mean, I don’t think this needs to end any time soon. We don’t need to make any rash decisions just yet.” 

“But how do you see this ending?” 

She missed his hands when he pulled them back and let them rest on the table in front of him. “Umm…” 

“Because truthfully, I figured it would have ended as soon as it started. You might have got bored or maybe you got a job and you left for months and we’d just…forget about it.” She shrugged back at him. 

“Forget?” He tried to mask the disbelief creeping into his tone. “I don’t think either of us could forget about this.” 

“But you think about our lives and how different we are and even if we take the family out of the equation, like, it was always going to be tough, right? We would have to figure these things out eventually. It would be naïve to think we could carry on as we have done without feeling guilty and…” 

“I don’t feel guilty. Do you feel guilty?” 

“Well, yeh. From time to time. It’s not so bad when we’re at yours because it feels like it’s out of sight, out of mind, and-” 

“-then we’ll just have to stay at mine more.” He raised his eyebrow at her in an attempt to bring some playfulness back to their conversation. 

“That’s not what I’m getting at.” She shook her head at him. Now it was her time to pull back as her head connected with the headrest. “This isn’t gonna last forever, is it? We need to be more rational.” 

“Well…” 

“And it’s only going to get harder and feel more…stressful.” 

Chris narrowed his eyes at her. “Why now?” 

“What do you mean?” 

“I mean, where is this coming from?” he asked. “We seemed to be OK and I thought we had a good time in New York. Then it’s days of near silence and now I think you’re trying to end this but you don’t have the guts to say it out loud.” 

He had her there. She didn’t feel particularly offended or caught off guard by his assumption and he saw that because, truthfully, he’d finally put a name to her thoughts. He wasn’t giving her a way out as such but he was at least addressing the elephant she had planted between them. 

He looked away from her and took in a sharp breath. “Look, I don’t want to have this conversation here, OK? I think we should have taken up my idea and spoken about this later at mine and in private. Will you please just come and see me later?” 

He didn’t give her the softer, more pleading tone she was normally used to when he was trying to make an appeal to her. She wasn’t expecting it given the circumstances but…it would have been nice. How was she going to get through the next few hours of work if she had this struggle to look forward to? 

“Because if you’re gonna dump me, I’d rather have a whiskey in me than whatever crap this is.” He flicked his cup away from him on the table and smoothed his hand over his beard again, still not making eye contact. “I’m gonna go. Just text me when you’re on the way, yeh?” 

So that was that, then.

*

She could have cried, it felt so good. 

She didn’t intend to let things get as far as they did. She was trying to figure out what to say to him. She spent a good portion of time standing outside his front door building up just enough nerve to knock. When she saw him, in a slightly-too-tight sweater, sweatpants hanging loose on his hips, eyes glossy from the alcohol she suspected he had started drinking as soon as he had arrived home, she couldn’t help herself. 

He looked gorgeous. He looked warm and comforting and soft and hot and…all the things that had become so familiar to her now. And when he held his hand out to pull her in, she willingly went to him. 

One thing that struck her as he was entering her over and over again was how tightly he held on to her. After she had finally managed to catch her breath from the onslaught of kisses and touches all over her body. His hands held hers firmly above her head as they fell onto his bed. God knows how they managed to make it that far. 

He hadn’t let her up for air as soon as his lips connected with hers. He pulled her inside his apartment and pushed her towards his bedroom. She knew the layout of his home like the back of her hand, knowing exactly when they passed his kitchen as he dragged her jacket from her shoulders and left it by the table. She felt the curtains in his hallway brush passed her hair and the breeze from the skylight in his bathroom reach the base of her spine, his hands having pushed up her t-shirt and exposed her skin to the brief chill. His arms wrapped around her and held her like he was scared she was going to fall away from his grasp. She can’t remember connecting with anything else after that point; she was focussed solely on the way he was loving her. \

Clumsily, he used to his leg to kick the bedroom open so she wouldn’t bang into it and he got her flat on the bed with minimal effort. He carefully removed clothes until she felt his hot skin smother hers and she realised she made the right decision in just going with it. There was a sweet hint of whiskey to his breath but she didn’t much care. As he looked into her eyes, resting deep inside her, she didn’t much care for anything. This was the power he held over her.

She could tell he was thinking of something to say. Something he had probably practiced in the few hours since they last saw each other but now was coming up short. She instinctively placed her hand gently over his mouth, an acknowledgement of sorts, and asked him to move again, slower this time as he made sure she could feel all of him moving inside her. 

She was on the edge of her orgasm for a long time. His breathing grew laboured, his hot breath fanning over her face and surrounding her before, without warning, he shifted them both in one fluid move so she was lying on top of him. 

“Ride me,” he whispered, a softness belying his request, and she complied.

She gripped at his upper arms so they would hold her weight as she moved purposefully on top of him. It was bliss. She couldn’t look away from him as he struggled to keep his eyes open, taking in everything she was giving him. They had experienced a few moments like this, moments that felt so tender if it wasn’t for the way his hands were gripping her hips to keep her going. 

After they had both come together, she collapsed down over him, her head resting over the top of his chest, him still inside her. She felt sure she had accidently bumped his chin but couldn’t quite manage the energy to vocalise an apology. He wrapped his arms securely around her to hold her in place when he thought she would try and move away from him. They’d slept like this in New York and he had decided he liked it more than the alternative. 

“If that’s the last time we do this, at least we went out on a high.” he sighed. 

“True.” She replied, equally as breathless.

He turned his head to look down at her, stroking a hand over her hair and the side of her face. “It doesn’t feel fair, though. Life’s gonna be a little bit shitter without you to look forward to.” 

“We’ll still see each other. We’ll find a way to make it work.” She shifted her legs from off his before turning slightly to take the rest of her body away from his and he reluctantly let her go. 

“Do you think we can?” He asked as he stared up at the ceiling. He already knew the answer in his mind but he wanted to hear her try and convince him. 

“We have to.” 

“That’s not what I asked.” 

She sighed heavily and rubbed a hand across her forehead, letting it rest it in her hair. “She’s my best friend. You guys are my family. We have to at least try.” 

Chris turned to look at her just in time to see a tear form in her eyes. She gently blinked and sniffed it away not realising he had already seen. 

“You’re gonna be a hard act to follow, Bernette.”

*

“So you slept with him again?” Audrey worried. 

Sarah nodded carefully, holding one hand in the other. “I know, I know…but when I saw him I just couldn’t help it. I couldn’t pull away from him, it’s like he-” 

“Oh honey, listen, I get it. Completely.” Audrey’s eyes widened and she had to stop herself laughing. “I can imagine he’s been very supportive to you with everything that’s been going on but I think when all is said and done, maybe you both needed this?” 

“I wish it was that simple, Audrey. It’s not just the two of us that needs to consider things. Y’know, Shan actually apologised to me, saying she’d been a bad friend and that she would try to be more supportive from now on and…it hit me. It just knocked me for six that I’ve betrayed her completely and I don’t know what to do about it. I don’t know how to go back.” 

“It’s obvious this isn’t just sex. I mean, he drove to see you in New York and fucking…” She waved her hand around at nothing in particular. “…fucking tested you on fucking blood diseases and ECGs. Michael doesn’t even do that and I fucking married that guy! Come on, Sarah. If this was just sex, it wouldn’t be an issue, would it? You’d be able to close the book and move on. End of story. The only reason this is causing you strife is because you have feelings for each other. And very serious ones at that I might add.” 

“Ah well, that’s easy. You don’t go back. You don’t just forget the last few months. What’s done is done now and maybe there’s a better way out of this.”

“How?”

“Oh Sarah, I love you but you really are friggin’ naïve sometimes.” Audrey pointedly rolled her eyes for the tenth time since they sat down. It wasn’t something Sarah was appreciating right now, this feeling that she was continuously missing the damn point. 

If this was Oprah, the audience would be clapping and whooping loudly right now and Audrey would do her finger-snap that she reserved for drunken arguments in bars with ladies that pushed in line for the toilets. Instead, she took a sip from her sparkling water and raised an eyebrow at her, content in her response. Your move, she was saying. 

Sarah rubbed her eyes and painfully pulled at the skin on her eyelids. “I should have told you about this sooner. I’m sorry, Audrey. I’m sorry I’m landing this on your now.” 

“Well, while we’re being honest, I guess I should tell you that I kind of already knew.” 

Sarah looked at her incredulously. Audrey didn’t bat an eye and just sat looking back at her. 

“How long? When did you…?” 

“It’s not every day a movie star wanders into the reception of a crumbling ER department.” She said, matter-of-factly. “Plus, I saw you both outside the diner. Aaand I’m guessing the accident you had recently was because of him as well?” 

Sarah awkwardly bit at her bottom lip. She didn’t need to confirm anything; Audrey knew full well. She was astute as hell and while it didn’t feel like it right in this moment, Sarah was quietly relieved. 

“What do I do, Audrey?” 

She sipped her water again. “If you insist on being serious about this, you can’t let yourself be in a room with him alone. You know that much, hun. The rest is day by day. Maybe he’ll make it easy on you.” 

She nodded in understanding. Audrey took that at face value, giving her a sympathetic smile in return while mentally making a bet with herself about how well things would turn out. 

*

[beyoncesdragon]

title: tongue tip trip

➳ pairing: harry styles x reader, best friends to lovers trope but a bit different. 

➳ summary: Harry eats edibles and you come to the rescue...despite almost four months of no talking and zero communication. 

➳ warnings: Harry eats edibles, swearing and some fluff, it’s also fan fiction so its ✨unrealistic✨ okay, also its 1AM I wanna sleep 

➳ a/n: I love this one tbh. but please don’t do drugs children 

Jeff hardly ever called you. Even when Harry and you had still be close, him calling you was a rarity. But when he then did, you couldn't help but feel a bit worried at the sign of his user ID flashing up on your phone. This time was no exception, but besides worry there was also surprise and a whole bunch of uncomfortable memories and unsaid words. You hadn't heard from him (or Harry) in weeks. Sure, Jeff and you still sometimes texted a bit, you also were still in good contact with Claire and especially Mitch and you still got along. Harry and you...well, that was a different and longer story.

Harry and you used to be very close friends. Means, helping him what socks to choose before performing-close friends. You had met a year in Harry going solo, you a simple assistant engineer and him the highly praised Popstar. The two of you had quickly bonded over a few glasses of chilled white wine in the humid air of Jamaica and soon your friendship blossomed in the most beautiful ways. Well it did until you, obviously, started to feel a bit more for the singer. Now, that alone wasn't a problem itself, the fact that Harry knew (you had told him after a few weeks of awkward suffering) wasn't either. The problem was that Harry acted like a dick to anyone you brought around, up to the point where you seemingly couldn't ever date again. Of course Harry wasn't a straight up asshole to them, he still had a reputation to maintain, but he knew how to get under their skin. Just toying with their self-confidence and subtly making them feel like the biggest losers. Oh and, the absolute worst part, all whilst having a girlfriend himself. Which eliminated the possibility of him having feeling for you as a reason why he acted like a jerk. And that angered you more and more and it all escalated in a big, nasty and hurtful fight, around four - five months ago. Since then you hadn't talked, texted or seen each other.

It had been a big change of habit not to get up and first check the phone for messages of him, or simply FaceTime him to check up on his schedule. No spending time at cafes or at the studios with him and the rest of the team. Lucky thing you had other jobs running, on other albums and in other studios around Malibu than his.

He was currently recording music at the Shangri-La studios in Malibu, maybe ten minutes from your flat by car. Which had been described as a "lucky and obviously unplanned extra" by Harry himself, followed by a cheeky grin. You had just rolled your eyes, but secretly happy that he had cared about you being near during his writing process. But now it only left a sour aftertaste in your mouth.

With a sigh you pulled the key out of the ignition and picked up the phone. You figured you could also wait in the parking lot for a few more minutes.

"Hello?"

"Sweetheart? Jeff's here..." you hummed softly, leaning back. 

"Hello there Jeff. Everything alright?" you could hear him cough slightly, before he answered with a weird lilt to his tone. He sounded somewhat stressed out. "Yeah, everything's fine...how have you been?" you shrugged lightly, inspecting your nails. 

"Fine. Working and stuff. I guess same for you?" he was quick to agree, again with that weird cough. 

"Everything okay Jeff? Something happened?" you finally asked, tired of his obvious tip toeing around the real issue. He knew that you weren't so stupid to believe that Jeff had just called you to check up on you at five in the afternoon.

"Well not...quite. I - uh...it's because of Harry. Now, listen, I know the two of you did not part in like, the best ways but..." you couldn't help but close your eyes with a slight wince, "...but you've got to believe me, it's an emergency, kinda." You just sighed. 

"Kinda?" he hummed, saying nothing for a few seconds. "Do I need to talk to him?" you asked into the silence. Jeff was quick to say no however. "Uh...rather not, actually." You blinked surprised. 

"Rather not? Is he drunk?" not that this would be a first, Harry being drunk caller by nature. If he was lucky he then would find himself calling someone like Paul, his old bodyguard, few months ago maybe you, just not one of his exes or someone else you probably shouldn't call anyways – especially not drunk. But this time it didn't seemed to be like that, since Jeff answered hesitantly. "Not exactly, no." your frown deepened at his words, feeling slight annoyance creeping up. "Jeffrey! What's the matter? Is he hurt? In an accident? Called his ex? Called Zayn? What is it? Just tell me already!"

Jeff sighed deeply. "He's high." A relieved huff left your lips. That wasn't half as bad, wasn't it? "That's it? Little weed hurts no body, besides I would've been more concerned if he would've drank. Besides, he almost never does weed..." Jeff interrupted you quickly. "Not exactly weed sweetheart. You remember the uh, edibles I told you about, the ones we stored in the fridge..." A deep groan escaped your lips.

"Are you kidding me?" you groaned, shaking your head. "Well no. However, he accidentally bit of his tongue tip, few minutes ago." Your hand dropped from the steering wheel and smashed down and you accidentally honked, immediately getting confused and outraged looks from the cars passing by.

"He did WHAT?" you meant to hear a smile in Jeff's voice, underneath all the layers of just mild concern. "Yeah's a little unfortunate." you just huffed. A little unfortunate, if that's what they decided to call it, then fine. Nonetheless, Harry should probably visit a doctor. "Can he still sing?" you asked, somewhat defeated. The noise behind Jeff increased, you assumed that he was entering the studio again. "Hold on a sec...can you hear him?" And oh how you could hear him.

He was singing, no yelling on top of his voice, trying to outmatch the speakers that were thumping Paul McCartney's "Too Many People", though unmistakably mumbling a little. Just the sound of his voice made your heart clench in pain a little.

"Yeah I can." You mumbled, wishing for Jeff to talk over Harry's voice again. "So his career isn't in danger right? Means I can just..." Jeff sighed deeply, pleadingly. 

"Y/N, please...he needs medical care." You pouted displeased, spinning the car keys in your fingers. "And you cant drive him because...?" this time he definitely laughed. "What do you think? Harry being the only one on drugs?" you shrugged. "You don't sound like you would bite your tongue off..." he just huffed. "That's because I only had a glass of white wine, but never drink and drive..." you let out a loud laugh, starting your car. "Oh sure! And don't mix drugs with alcohol, right?" he chuckled softly. "Course not. We're that responsible, you know." you just hummed unconvinced, sighing again.

"Okay fine. I'll pick him up." Jeff released a long breath before thanking you warmly. "Thank you so much, angel...how long will you take, you think?" your eyes darted from the rear-view mirror to the road behind the parking lot, before you shifted the reverse gear again to leave the parking.

"About 10 minutes? Maybe?" you guessed, eyeing the traffic suspiciously. It wasn't rush-hour just yet, but there were still plenty of cars on the road. "Okay...oh hi Harry." You immediately tensed up, swallowing hard when you heard Harrys deep voice again.

"Who y'takin to?" Harry spoke as if he had a full mouth, trying not spit out its content. "Oh just...Y/N." Jeff answered truthfully. Harry then said something you couldn't quite understand before Jeff ushered him to go away again with the words; "She'll come in a few minutes anyways." It made you swallow heavily; had Harry asked to talk to you? You stopped the thoughts and focused on the road again. "I'll see you in five." And with that you hung up.

❦

Harry and Jeff were already waiting in front of the studio when you pulled up, Harry having a bloody cloth pressed to his mouth. They looked like father and son, right off the principal's office for starting a fight on campus. It almost made you laugh. Then your eyes met and the amusement left your body as quickly as it came. You were not ready to face him again, even after all those months.

"Thank you so much Y/N, I owe you...you good H?" Jeff asked as he opened the passenger door. "Yeh, m'fine, fanks." Harry mumbled, eyes darting up to meet yours, just to look away immediately. "We'll be back soon." You sighed, not yet ready to properly greet Harry. Or look at him, for starters. To be fair, he wasn't doing any better. "Sure. I hope he doesn't bleed on your seats." Jeff joked, well aware of the weird tension. You just shrugged, waving him goodbye. "See you in a few Jeff." Or not, but you didn't know that yet.

The ride was almost completely silent expect for the time where you asked if he was okay and he mumbled a "yeh". The radio was filling the silence and you were glad for it. The songs weren't that good at the moment, you just wanted something to be loud and talking, even if it was just the obnoxious radio host who kept cutting off the songs. That was until "Change" by RM and Wale started to play and you perked up immediately. A happy smile crept on your face as you recognised the tune. You yourself had helped with the song and you proudly acknowledged the credit they gave you. You hadn't expected it to be played over here in America, but you were happy it was. Harry had obviously noticed your change of behaviour and carefully peaked over.

"Y'know tha'shong?" you nodded, momentarily forgetting that Harry and you hadn't interacted the last ten minutes. "Helped write it. With Namjoon, aka. RM and Wale." Harry nodded slowly. "Ish Namjhoon f'om...?" he tried and you nodded. "BTS? Yeah." He just nodded again. The next second Wale already mentioned BTS in his verse and Harry huffed. "Oh."

"I've sheen - seen the pictures of you n'him." you quirked an eyebrow. "Yeah? Well, he was nice." Harry nodded again, another stolen glance into your direction. "Lishten..." he started but you cut him off. You already knew what he was about to say anyways.

"Let's not have this conversation now Harry. Please. Let's talk when there isn't blood gushing from your mouth." He nodded, but his shoulders relaxed a little bit. After all, he was glad you were up to talk, even if it wasn't just right now, but a bit later on. He had time anyways. He peaked over again, taking in the sight of you. Your hair was now longer than last time and your face somehow sharper – maybe you had lost weight. Also, there was a soft frown etched in between your brows, and there wasn't this soft glow you've always carried in your eyes. Long story short: You looked worn out and stressed, and Harry couldn't really tell if it was because you were sat in the same car as he was, or if it had to do with something else that was going on.

"How're ya?" it slowly got painful to speak, the edible was definitely wearing off now, but Harry still tried. He had missed your voice after all, it didn't matter how cold your tone had become. Just at the mentioning of that Namjoon you had sounded more like the Y/N he knew.

"I've been okay. Had lots of work...different countries and continents. S'been a busy few months." You felt unsure as how to talk to him, of you were fully honest. Should you say that you had absolutely hated working in Malibu since the fight? Should you say that you hadn't slept properly because you hated having fights with friends? Especially close friends? He probably knew anyways. Harry always knew somehow.

"I wont ask you about yourself until your tongue is patched up again, though. So you better shut up Styles." He chuckled softly, and the hint of the old Harry and Y/N relationship seemed to spark up again. The last five or so minutes were spent in silence again, but comfortable this time.

❦

Luckily Harry did not go recognised by anyone else than the Doctor. And the doctor probably only realised fully, because she asked for the name. Harry, still not fully functionable, had then looked over to you, expecting you to do the talking. Which made sense, of course, but truth behold, he had just forgotten his middle and last name. And the address of the place he was staying at (the studios) was completely wiped from his memory. He was lucky you were with him. It also turned out that he had completely bit off a few millimetres of tongue, a clean bite. You had almost gaged at those words and Harry had supressed a grin. It meant that Harry needed no stitches (apparently it was sort of possible to stitch a tongue back together), but daily check-ups and cleaning or cleansing of the mouth was mandatory.

"Check the injurie daily for changes in appearance or feel. Wounds in the mouth that are clean and healthy may appear light pink to white." She had started to almost exclusively talk to you, aware of Harry's partly delirious state, giving you all the information you needed to patch him up a bit. You nodded slowly.

"Alright. Just...how do you cleanse the mouth?" The Doctor gave you a kind smile. "Very easy. Rinse the mouth with a saltwater solution after eating to ease pain and keep the wound clean. That is very important, so the wound doesn't infect. The saltwater solution is just one teaspoon of non-iodized salt mixed in one cup of warm water." You nodded slowly. "One last thing: if the colour of the wound changes, starts bleeding again, swells up or you notice a visible deformity, immediately come back. Also, if the pain intensifies and does not improve within two hours of taking over-the-counter pain medication, such as ibuprofen or acetaminophen, have somebody call us, or better come around. That is all we can do right now."

You were almost happy when you could leave the hospital with him, especially because Harry now grew tired and needy. You weren't sure if the disappearing edible had that effect or if you had just forgotten how clingy Harry could get, but you had troubles getting him to let go of your arm and sit into the car. And your deeply hidden and buried feelings for him slowly made an unwanted comeback, and you were not quite excited for that. You should've known that they would come again, after all, you never really got over him in the first place.

Harry insisted on you staying the night. He blabbed something about risk of getting kidnapped and abused at night alone (not entirely wrong, sadly) and him not letting his friend leave at hours that late and also he apparently needed you if something happened again. He just wouldn't admit that he couldn't let you walk out the door because he feared you wouldn't come back. as if you could just do that after today. But whatever it was, you did stay. In one of the three bedrooms of the Studio you had claimed a bed, and even got some spare clothes for sleep from Claire herself. You had called her, asking for them, as they had all already left.

Just when you thought you were done for the day, teeth brushed and dressed in Claires 1975 shirt size XL, you hear a knock on your door. "Come in?" You knew it was Harry, that wasn't the part that surprised you. the part that surprised you, was that it was Harry with a tray and on that tray were cups and kettle and it smelled like camomile tea and honey. And cookies, with chocolate chips even and some grapes.

"Hi." He just whispered, embarrassment written all over his face. "Hi?" you weren't sure how to react to this but quickly patted on the bed next to you. "Wanna sit down? Or wait, sHit down, as you would say it." He giggled softly, before he nodded and carefully sat down opposite of you, balancing the tray carefully between the two of you.

"I figured it would be better to talk now in peace? If you're up to, f'course." You couldn't help the small smile that crept onto your face. "Shure." You mocked his lisp and he huffed at that, swatting his hand into your direction. "Shtop it really hurt." You just rolled your eyes at him, motioning towards the tray between the two of you. "That's very cute by the way. I love camomile tea with honey." He grinned smugly. "I know." The tea steamed softly when he poured it into the cups, his brows furrowed in concentration to not spill it on the sheets. You watched him with a fond look in your eyes. You hadn't been fully aware of how much you had really missed him in all these months. Right now it felt like the feeling was overwhelming and would crush you out of a sudden.

"Everything a'ight?" Harry's concerned voice ripped you from your thoughts and you blinked quickly. Your eyes had started to water and you looked away embarrassed. "Yeah...guess I just missed you." his eyes immediately went soft, and he set the cups down on the tray. 

"I missed ye too." He said, sounding a bit helpless. You cleared your throat, shaking your head quickly. 

"Okay so what happened that day; Harry I want to sincerely apologise. What I said went too far." He just smiled softly. "I should've went first. S'my fault after all, let's not beat around the bushes. I am sh-sorry. I shouldn't've said all those things, it was truly horrible. You're not clingy, you don't ever bothered me and also, the men you brought around weren't all dicks. And yes I did ruin it purposely." He couldn't even look at you anymore, shame so obvious in his face and voice and body language. "It's fine...I could've dated anyone anyways that time." You tried softly, swallowing down the "Still can't, believe me, I tried." He just shook his head. "No, really Y/N, that was extremely hurtful and inappropriate and I was the biggest...dick to do all that. I am so sorry. You had all right on earth to walk out like that. and to call me a heartless, self-absorbed douche, I guess I deserved that...that and all the other things you called me." that did make you laugh a bit.

"Arrogant son of a bitch? That one?" he grinned softly. "Exactly that one. I uh, used that, by the way. In a song, I hope you don't mind." Your eyebrows shot up at that. "You called yourself an arrogant son of a bitch?" He nodded sheepishly. "An arrogant shon of a bitch who can't admit that he is shorry, and I quoted that." you laughed now, loudly. "Bit harsh, innit?" he shrugged, coquettishly raising the tea cup to his lips. "Heard it from shomewhere." You just hummed softly, lifting your cup as well.

A deep sigh rose your chest as you looked at him again, that bright flicker in his eyes again, that lopsided smirk he wore so well. You knew that your crush was back on fully, but right now you didn't even minded it. Harry gave you a small smile, the mischief slowly draining from his green eyes. he seemed to catch on to that shift of your emotions and carefully placed his cup down on the tray, before then carefully placing the tray on the floor and opening his arms. 

"C'mere?" you did, immediately.

And for the first time in months you could fully relax. Surrounded by Harry's scent in Harry's arm and listening to Harry's heartbeat. Completely absorbed and surrounded by everything you loved. "Sorry." You mumbled into the fabric of his shirt, feeling how his arms tightened around you. "Me too. I fucking misshed you." you chuckled softly. "Misshed you too, shon of a bitch." His laughter sent vibrations through your body.

"About that Korean dude..." Harry suddenly asked, making your peak up to him. "Namjoon? What about him?" he cleared his throat. "Just...did you like, date or something?" you grinned softly. 

"Pretty sure he had something going on with a girl the time I was over there. Maybe he still has. Why? You wanna scare him off again?" he just laughed. "I don't do that anymore. I was just...curious you know. You've always had a thing for these Korean men." You grinned softly.

"Are you now talking Stray Kids or Bangtan or EXO or GOT7..." Harry groaned, "so what. You got something to say about that?" he shook his head. "Course not." You hummed. "And what do you mean, I don't do that anymore? Why did you even do it, like in the first place?" Harry sighed very deeply at that.

"I guess because...okay, promise you listen to the end and don't get upset with me too much, yeah?" you frowned, a bit mentally preparing yourself for whatever was about to follow. 

"Okay? Promised."

"Alright, now...I think I couldn't just...let you be and date who you want because I am a very selfish person? I know I know, you probably think: but selfish about what and I can only confess...probably you? No, not probably, I am sure." The words were bubbling out of him as if someone flipped a switch and now he couldn't stop anymore. "I couldn't see you date someone else and...give them all of your attention. And I know, I myself was in a relationship during that time, I know, but I just...I can't describe it." Your eyes grew wider and wider with every hasty rambled sentence and your lips were slightly parted. "It was as if was...jealous, which is weird because I wasn't into you then, no offense please, I mean I had a girlfriend..." 

"Hold on, what do you mean, wasn't into you then?" you cut him off and Harry literally froze. His eyes went wide with realisation and his mouth opened, as if he would try to reply something; but there was no sound. All he could think of, was one word, all in capital letters and blinking red: fuck.

"I uh, did I say then?" you clicked with your tongue, an amused grin flitting over your face. 

"You did." A blush now covered his cheeks and he cleared his throat eagerly. You moved away from his embrace to get a better look at the man sitting in front of you. 

"You did say then. Something changed?" your tone was joking but hidden beneath the layers of sarcasm there was a flicker of something else...hope.

"I...I mean I don't...would it be like...do you still feel the same?" you didn't immediately answered, trying to process what you were hearing. After weeks of pinning and then months of not talking at all, he was confessing – or somewhat confessing – that there was a chance that he now actually liked you back? How was that even possible?

Harry however read your silence as something else than confusion and being overwhelmed with the situation. His face fell from nervous to disappointed and hurt, though he tried to mask those emotions quickly. "Which is of course fine and like, obviously you don't, I mean..." he spoke, and it wasn't entirely clear if he was talking to you or himself.

"I didn't even answer H." you mumbled, tilting your head. "Of course you di- wait what do you mean?" there was this same spark of hope in his voice as there had been in your voice. "If I told you, that nothing changed, what would that mean?" you breathed after a second of hesitation and staring into his wide eyes, filled with fear, nervousness, hope and...vulnerability. At your words there was a small smile that started to tug on his lips, like a light igniting his eyes. 

"It would mean that I...uhm, I would then shoot my shot?" you couldn't help it.

"Was that hard to say?" he blinked confused. "Shoot your shot..." you teased and he groaned loudly. "Oh hush, you are unbearable." You giggled, winking obnoxiously. "You decided to eat those edibles. Also, I am worth a shot, no?" he huffed, leaping forwards to pull you back into his arms. "Oh definitely..." you grinned up at him before your breath hitched in your throat at the realisation of his sudden closeness. Eyes flickering to his lips you just waited. But when he leaned in you cleared you throat softly, making him halt. "Before you do that...just please tell me why now." He never moved back just pressed his lips together for a second, thinking of the right choice of words. "In those month where we didn't talk, I had a lot, and I mean a lot of time to think and reflect about the whole situation. About you, about how I felt about you and your partners, how your confession had changed the way I saw or felt certain things...also, Jeff's talked a lot with me about it. The fight and stuff. And then when I saw you again I just...knew? I don't know..." you cut him off with a short nod. 

"Okay that's good, now kiss me please." He just laughed before finally, finally closing the gap between the two of you.

And your lips on his made him feel better, lighter and higher than any fucking edible could've ever made him feel.

here are flowers for u, if u rly read this ily 💐💐💐

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