#obviously I'm being a selfish asshole because they're great and they're going to be great parents and they're so happy

[rubenesque-as-fuck]

Spending the weekend with my oldest friend and his wife and they're like, "Yeah we got married last year and got a house and are going to visit Ecuador in a few months and then oops we're also pregnant and having a baby it's due next May haha 😋 so what's new with you??" and I'm just like, "uh... i uhhhhh got a new tattoo? Still fully and pathetically unable to not be single though 🙃"

Kinda want to crawl into a hidden corner and claw my own face off

[mixelation]

I’m sorry I have to ask how would a throuple Deidara/Tori/Itachi work in this au? Who drives who craziest? What does the village think? More importantly, what does Kushina think?

i'm not saying i'd make this ~canon~ to the reborn au, but if i did i'd write it like this:

so it's actually kind of tricky to add deidara to the itatori fake dating power couple because despite both of them acting insane about it, they're actually almost entirely on the same page about what they want out of a relationship. neither of them are super into actual romance or physical affection, but having another person socially bound to show up and back you up is nice even if neither will admit it. itachi will die if he has to learn to be vulnerable with someone else but following tori around like a weird ghost at social events is just how life is sometimes, and if he says something out of line she'll roll her eyes and not cry over it. tori thinks itachi is rude and controlling and also there was that period where he actively wanted to kill her, but if she insists a good boyfriend would help her with X, he'll.... usually do it, even if X is an absurdly selfish demand.

and i think deidara does want active sex life, and he won't ADMIT it but he likes being dated. he thinks tori and itachi's relationship is really weird and also very annoying to him personally, how dare they. so we need something stupid and contrived to make the throuple even happen. such as:

tori and deidara are roommates.

deidara obviously knows their dating is fake, because he KNOWS them. also because usually when itachi comes over, tori just like. ignores him

like itachi is only there because he likes having Away Time from home, and spending the night at his girlfriend's is a normal reason to not be home. he knows tori wants her own alone time. he's just going to quietly hangout in their living room and then crash on the couch

deidara: ....but why are you H E R E

itachi: ? i literally just explained it?

i think at some point it's going to become obvious to the wider konoha populace that there's something off about ItaTori.... like itachi is konoha's most eligible bachelor so people are Watching because everyone KNOWS mikoto periodically interviews kunoichi about a potential marriage match, and no one has seen them even kiss a cheek, and also a few people have definitely noticed tori being Obnoxious On Purpose. itachi IS an asshole but bc the entire canon is obsessed with him, i've decided only his inner most circle has realized this. clearly tori is his evil, overbearing girlfriend he can't get out of a toxic relationship with

itachi: no :( if the rumor gets too bad this won't work any more and then i'll have to date an actual 18 year old :( tori i care about her problems so little. what if she tries to kiss me :(

tori, sailing right by the idea they should attempt to be more publicly amorous, because LOL: okay we're going to have to redirect with an even juicier rumor then.... let's see, what do people know.... we're not into each other enough, and also they think i'm a gold digger*.... i've heard people wondering what happens when you spend the night here.....

*she kinda is

tori: oh!

tori: i'm your beard because you're fucking deidara :)

itachi decides this is GREAT because he knows "publicly date a woman who could make you heirs while fucking your boyfriend on the side" IS the solution to the uchiha heir being gay. they barely have to change anything. they just have to catch him shoving deidara against a wall at a couple parties and then dragging him into a private room

the thing is deidara reacts exactly correctly to itachi doing this. he gets red and flustered. he acts embarrassed and twitchy when asked about it later. he's been obsessed with itachi for years.....

anyway they forget to tell deidara what itachi was doing until AFTER the rumor mill gets around to him, and deidara has to go scream alone in a forest for a while

deidara wants to blow them both up but then he looks deep down inside his soul and actually he would. like. to fuck itachi.......

i think deidara gets more frustrated with the entire thing more often because he has more interest in the whole stupid arrangement not being fake, so if i wrote it i think his addition would catalyze it moving into more of a "real" throuple, instead of "friends who mutually enjoy tricking other people for fun and profit social benefit"

as for who annoys each other most.... i think deidara has it in his head that tori > itachi because he decided it eons ago when he had more of a grudge against itachi, and he's not actually very good at changing his mind. so he's more forgiving of tori's annoying quirks while itachi is more likely to drive him insane. tori is actually more likely to actively annoying itachi, because most of deidara's annoying habits are very "it happens and then it's done," whereas tori is irritating over longer periods, and also sometimes entirely on purpose. for tori, i think itachi is generally more likely to pick at her nerves, but also since they've been In Cahoots more, she's more likely to forgive/understand him than in original flavor plasticity, and also deidara is less good at Cahoots which can annoy her

i'm imaging the fake dating starts when they're 15/16, with deidara being added a couple years later, so they're not actively under kushina while it's happening but she's invested in checking in on them when she can. because she doesn't have a front row view of the budding "romance," i think kushina just kind of assumes.... tori and itachi realized they were both Like That in the same direction and that's why they seem like a weird couple to others. she's more skeptical of the "tori is itadei's beard" rumor because that seems.... wrong. but when she talks to deidara about it he gains the most pained expression in the universe and she's like "oh no" because ACTUALLY this is a WILD LOVE TRIANGLE---

anyway when they become vaguely official, she's happy for them! also she's told minato every single detail with the same excitement she relates bad movies she watches, sorry if that makes mission reports weird---

i don't think the village at large would be... super into it? and also confused. they already don't like tori not being a Perfect Girlfriend, and the beard rumor was very exciting for a few months, but itachi being gay (bi? why is tori still there?) ruins a lot of personal fantasies, because either you want to marry him, marry your cousin to him, indulge in the fantasy of what being married to him is like, or you're one of those dudes who idolizes other dudes and your dude-idol's sexual life being your own fantasy one is very important. also don't tell deidara or tori how obsessed with itachi the village is they know and they don't like it.

caveat to the above: i think there's a subset of konoha that's really, really interested in deidara's sex life because. uh. hands. so "what do you think he does in a threesome" is probably semi normal bar banter, sorry deidara

[pandemellia]

Ugly Thoughts #4: Idiots surround themselves with other idiots🤡

So there's this artist my ex's partner is mutuals with.

I visited his Twitter page a few times. Talented artist. That's cool.

Until one day, (I think this happened around early October) I noticed my ex's partner liked a tweet he posted about getting into a new relationship.

I'm thinking like, "but didn't he drew art of his girlfriend, like a few months ago?"

Then the thread mentioned how he didn't care about how he was moving too fast, how he didn't care who it affects, yadda yadda.

I looked at the artist's ex girlfriend's Twitter for clues on when they broke up because I got a little curious. It was around late September. This guy jumped into another relationship around a week after his last one ended.

As I mentioned before, it's a huge pet peeve of mine when people rebound.

It shows how desperate they are; and let's be honest, they're only using the rebound to fill a void within them because they can't stand to be alone. This is unfair to the new partner. That being said, I don't feel sorry for the rebound partner if they know they're dating someone who just got out of a relationship. Actions have consequences. They're asking to be used. Rebounding instead of shows weakness, and that's just unattractive to me.

I hate how some people are like, "pEoPlE hEaL aT dIfFeReNt pAcEs". Shut the fuck up, you're just letting your emotions control you.

I say as I let my unhealthy attachment to my ex have me stalk his socials lol—BUT at least what I do is not at the expense of anyone else's mental health.

Rebounding also proves how little they respected their prior relationship. Did they really love them in the first place if their ex was so easy to replace? Like you already abandoned them, why you gotta rub salt in the wound by dating someone else so soon? Maybe the dumper had an ex who was a huge asshole, and did deserve being broken up with. Still, why use someone else's energy and time to fulfill your hedonistic urges? Being single for a while to heal isn't gonna kill ya. Trust me, I should know.

Moving too fast really shows some people's need for instant gratification and how quick some people are are to swap out partners like they're objects (it's already bad enough that this is easy to do with dating apps).

I don't know, something about rebounding feels so wrong. I really hate breakups and abandonment that much, I guess.

I'm not gonna sugarcoat it; I judged the fuck out of this person, especially when he said, "I don't care who it affects". I don't have the slightest idea on who initiated the break up, or what happened. But that comment rubbed me the wrong way. That phrase didn't sound like a self care type of selfish, it sounded more like a malicious type of selfish.

Then they tweeted about how in love they are with this person, which is something else I hate about people that rebound.

Bitch, you are not in love with them. You're infatuated with them, or you're thinking with your privates. Yes, attraction does lead to love, but it needs to develop first. Which takes TIME.

I feel like these are the type of people that think love is a feeling, and not a choice, so that's why they dump people because they simply "lost feelings for them".

Fucking idiots. You're obviously not gonna be in love with your partner 24/7. The honeymoon phase is not gonna last forever, so stop chasing it by going from relationship to relationship as soon as the infatuation ends. Keeping the love alive is an effort both parties in the relationship will have put into long term. Love doesn't work the way it does in these fake ass romantic fairytale movies. You'd think these grown ass adults would know that by now.

The homewrecker even commented the first tweet saying that it's great they both found happiness. 🤡

This makes me seem like a bitch; but God when I read that, I wished this guy's new relationship failed. XD

I know, I'm so miserable, that I wish bad on people who have nothing to do with me lol.

But listen here, it's homewreckers and people that move on too fast that enable each other and think their selfish actions are appropriate like these assholes are doing.

It's an echo chamber.

It's idiots surrounding themselves with other idiots.

The more idiots there are with this selfish ideology, the more pain they spread and waste other people's time.

So my wishes came true. This guy and his new girlfriend broke up about a week ago.

I like how he tries to play it off saying that it wasn't gonna work anyway because she was problematic.

Which is unfortunate that people like that still exist, but this is what happens when you rush into a relationship without getting to know the other person. That's yet another problem with jumping from one relationship to another.

You had it coming.

Now if only my other wishes came true.

That's what I'd call a Christmas miracle. XD

[sunstranded]

The ACTUAL xNTx Struggle

a blog from aff that I moved here

Okay so this isn't like my usual works that is either about me and my works or mamamoo this is a tangent about being an xNTx (ENTJ,ENTP,INTJ,INTP) whoever sees this tell me what you think or not, I don't really care I just want to rant.

Be advised, I am not basing anything I'm saying from the 16 personalities website with cute characters. I am basing all of what I am saying and also consider myself an INTJ based on cognitive functions by Carl Jung not the way 16 personalities website with 5 letters because they treat it as behavioral (which is wrong interpretation of MBTI tbf)

Now to my actual rant. First would be the stereotype NTs get. Stereotypes are fine when they're in comedic/satirical contexts but in the real world it sucks ass. It's not like MBTI that gives you a type to know yourself. Stereotypes reduce you into something that justifies prejudice against you. Typing yourself as whichever doesn't do that because it tells you you're understood, normal, and here's how you can work things out from people different from you. Stereotypes don't do that, only thing it does is either be funny or be a pain in the ass.

I should say, I am an INTJ but I never act like an INTJ fully when with other people. Even with my friends. There is only one person I never filter my INTJ self on and that person is an ENTP. ENTPs are one of the best and natural manipulators that I know do it out of convenience, curiosity, and not anything maliciously selfish and twisted. They're NT, obviously to me I'd see their reasoning to be logic-inclined or curiosity-based rather than "just felt like it."

Whenever I talk to this ENTP friend of mine I always feel great afterwards. It's because they get me and expound on the things I say in an NT way. To clarify, if you are reading this and aren't NT-type, what I meant is very abstract ideas played around in a logical way. So imagine an abstract concept like intrinsically valuable happiness then instead of going on and on about what makes YOU or PEOPLE happy, NTs would play around it with the question of: "what is intrinsically valuable?" rather than "what makes me happy?"

The thing I just mentioned by the way is the very reason I am the most private, loner, tight-lipped person in all actuality. Obviously if you follow me, see my A/Ns, my works, my feed, it doesn't feel like that. It feels like im an extrovert. Loud mouth full of random ass shit to say. I also interact with those who comment like I'm just all about the jokes. It's very unserious, unvillain-like, and inclined to feelings type of behavior. This is by the way, the reason why 16 personalities website is shit. I got ENFP there and from Cognitive Func ENFP is NeFiTeSi which, I am very much NOT. The behavior I have been describing when you follow me and see my works and feed is ESFP. Which is essentially the inner child/ aspirant version of an INTJ. ESFP are SeFiTeNi it is the reverse of INTJ's NiTeFiSe. I act and behave like an ESFP here because this is where I release my creative side. But I am NOT ESFP. I'm an INTJ presenting as ESFP so, I still to the core think like an INTJ. I just act like an ESFP.

With friends I hang out with, they also thought I was an ENFP (granted they didn't deep dive on Carl Jung as much as I did) but that assumption is still relevant to my point and the stereotype I am sick of that I keep getting as an NT. I had friends that straight up LEFT me despite 14 years of friendship because I was being such an NT. Aka the stereotype of UNFEELING, VILLAIN, EVIL, and straight up an ASSHOLE. I have received that IRL so much so I learned the NT struggle the hard way.

Actual NTs that are reading this will get what I mean. You can't be the honest rawest version of yourself in public. Because there are significantly less NT types than the others (SF, NF, ST) a lot of NT types in any setting, when they become their REAL selves, the version they are most comfortable to behave as, it's a painful what the fuck. It's always received as a cold, heartless, and inconsiderate to think, act, and speak like an NT type. 

I've mentioned how I've been treated by friends I've known for so fucking long. It takes time for NTs to warm up to anyone and show their trueselves because the way NTs depict their very real heavy emotions is weird. They're seen as very untrusting and emotionally empty but they arent. They feel. They feel things the same way everyone else does. They just don't act on them. They feel them even deny, but they won't act and use their feelings as reasons for what they do.

I never admitted this but man did it not only piss me off but kind of killed me inside when a friend I've had ever since forever walked away on me. On text too. Just upped and left. INTJs are masterminds, long-term planners, future-focused visionaries with executable ideas, but despite all that in the simplest sense, INTJs are problem-solvers. They will always seek out a problem with anything and give someone a solution AND THINK that they are being kind. So imagine you approach an INTJ with your poetry and they point out how you could use this to improve it or how you can change this word or ask you why this why that. TO THEM, that's how they would show they care. They imagine a problem where your idea won't work and give you a back up plan in case. Obviously they suck ass at deliverying it gently. So they sound like a critical condescending jackass. I learned that the hard way several types over and over because it didn't make sense to me. Until I realized that the way I view "showing my care and interest" isn't going to be the same for someone else. It sucks, but that's fine.

What I am sick of and tired of is every other type painting us (NT types) as JACKASSES when we just show how we care differently. People would rather assume and ask. It hurts my very soul to be at the end of a relationship BLINDSIGHTED that things were fine but they were getting sick of my behavior and how I show my care love etc. etc. Fucking communicate, don't wait for the last moment where everything is too late. It happened so much with me that I stopped acting like an INTJ to anyone I'm close unless I am 100% sure they're an NT type. If they aren't I get tired of hanging out with them but I still remain genuine with what I say, I just filter how I do it.

It's a pain in the ass struggle to keep doing because the world won't accept a conventionally smart "know-it-all" jackass that trips on even pavement. That's why I hate being called smart by the standards of society. That's why I absolutely resent being put in a higher pedestal because of how I think. It's just different. It isn't higher nor unattainable for others. It's just different. And I am FUCKING tired of having to bridge that differential gap with other types because I can understand and act without my feelings being the reason each time.

I wish the stereotype is deleted man. Fuck that shit. I hate it. It makes me cry inside when INTJs or ENTPs or ENTJs or INTPs are just reduced into smart robot unfeeling people. This idea and all of the things I said really really bleeds into my work. It bleeds into all the angst I've written. So much so that a lot of the angst don't feel like angst. Not because I don't feel and I can't make people feel but because the angst style I have is not focused on the character's feelings. Rather, what they are going through and how they deal with it. That's why ENTP characters under my angst don't act like ENTP. They act like the INTJ (the shadow function of ENTP) stereotype I've been labelled as. That's why ESTP characters act like INFJs (their aspirant function) when in love, giving and understanding to a fault. Idealistic in the long run but blindsighted by present logic and data. I haven't shared this part of the other angst I'm writing but the INTJ charac there acts like an ESFP (their aspirant function) because that's how INTJs tend to act when they're stressed. They grip to instant gratification that fulfills their internal beliefs personal feelings. ENTPs when stressed would be different but I personally prefer making them act like their shadow function wherein it's their last resort of solving a problem. ENTPs when acting like INTJs are hyperfocused on one thing and believe it despite outward realities. That's why they act like a victim sometimes or sometimes they erupt in and attack with logic.

But in reality NT types are the types that would fall head over heels, roll over the carpet, kneel and pray, when someone expounds their ideas in a way they prefer. ENTP and INTP prefer expounding them by different seemingly irrelevant ideas. INTJ and ENTJ prefer expounding them in a deducing or deep dive way. I only speak for myself on this one but when I talk to someone else I prefer INTP or ENTPs than ENTJs or INTJs it's mainly because having someone expound my deductions and deep dives is fucking attractive. Like yes, tell me more. TELL ME HOW WRONG I AM. (I will stop here omg lest this will turn NSFW real quick)

For the sake of actual coherence and brevity, let me summarize it all to 3 points. Honestly as much as I want this to be 5k words, I don't think people will have the patience for that.

1. The stereotype of UNFEELING, VILLAIN-LIKE, EVIL, CRITICAL and CONDESCENDING know-it-alls ENTJ, INTJ, ENTP, INTP types get reduced into being bleeds into how they get treated by anyone when they start acting like their raw and true selves without a "feelings" filter.

2. The treatment they get for being themselves forces them to feel unwelcomed despite having good intent, so most of them mask themselves and act like a different type completely. This also validates the other stereotype of them as scared of vulnerability or untrusting of others.

3. All NTs struggle with this in a different way but I think all INTJs will agree when I say the very thorn and achilles heel to all my Ni-long term plans are people. We can't control them, nor do we want to but it takes us more time to understand them because we want to understand them in a way that makes sense to our knowledge and beliefs. But man does it tire us to keep doing so, working more than everyone else just so that we don't get reduced to our stereotypes.