#obviously not gonna force ship anyone who writes bull

[eueclid]

MAERON TREVELYAN: A Summary.

Maeron is the beloved youngest son of Aerys and Amalthea Trevelyan, and the youngest of three. His eldest siblings, both sisters, were married off before he was born. Despite the great difference in age between them and the fact his parents were much older when he was born, Maeron was able to maintain a great relationship with his parents and sisters — that was until his mother was killed while traveling with him. His father, who was once loving, became melancholy and distant. As a result, Maeron became a worshipper of the Maker and picked up most of his father's duties which led him to attend the Divine Conclave — this event was one that would change his life.

SOME STATS:

He is an apostate mage. Similar to Hawke, his abilities were hidden so he wouldn't be sent to the circle and taken away from his family, who believed they finally found an heir in their new son. He was able to hide his growing powers, but they're common knowledge after he is announced as the Herald of Andraste and the Inquisitor.

Maeron supports mages, obviously. On top of his own being a mage and knowing the worst they have to offer, one of his nieces is a circle mage and he doesn't want the templars he's met being around her.

Maeron uses fire and ice magic and specializes in rift magic when he's able to find a teacher.

He's incredibly charismatic, but it's only recently that he's become so. This is because of his starting to take on his father's diplomatic abilities. When speaking to him one on one, Maeron is a little more reserved and even awkward at times.

His party typically includes Iron Bull, Varric, and Cole.

He loves to read. His favorites are romance novels, though he tends to read these in private to avoid being teased. In public, he reads typical fiction novels.

Maeron ends up falling in love with the Iron Bull during the events of the game. He keeps the Chargers safe due to his own attachment to them and their leader, and remains in contact with him after the events of Trespasser, mostly through letter while his company travels around. He is pansexual.

[nitholites]

Assuming someone in the BatFam is the end game:

It's been only a week or so since Tony figured out who Ladybug is

She's captured everyone's hearts, but has to go to Gotham soon

For help, but also because of her internship

The Stark Gala becomes a 'you better live and come back one day, Mari or I STG' party, hosted by Tony Stark, of course

She makes all the outfits of the Starks, her parents, herself, Jagged, Penny, Luka, and Kagami (the last two friends minus Chloe from Paris) and she makes extra in case someone has a wardrobe malfunction

Meanwhile, the Waynes have heard a lot about the newest Stark: MDC

Tim is a fanboy. He's found everything related to his favorite rock star's designer/niece there is to find ("I'm not obsessed! They're just super talented, and I'd like something from them! Stop laughing at me, Dick!")

Dick has no room to tease him, as both him and Jason are pretty much in the same boat

Kor'i and Mar'i love MDC, as well

Every one of the Bats are huge Jagged Stone fans

Like... Nearly rabid

(Damian, Bruce, and Alfred redact that statement)

They're invited to Tony's gala thing (he only started it to surpass the Wayne Gala, like the Lil Shite he is)

The night of the party, only Bruce and Jason go, since the rest of the bats are busy

Bruce, Jagged (who brought Fang), and Tony are all chatting in the middle of the floor, 2/3rds of the group are just talking up Marinette

Jason, meanwhile, accidentally runs into this small, adorable child who proceeds to spill her punch all over his suit

He insists it's fine, but she won't take 'no' for an answer ("I am so sorry, please let me make it up to you" "Kid, it's fine, accidents happen" "No, seriously, let me help")

There's a look in her eyes that insists she do something, and he eventually agrees

Cue to Marinette having a suit jacket that matches and fits Jason because "You look like you're the same build as Mr. Stark (she's all for joining Peter in calling Tony 'Mr. Stark' to get under his skin)"

"you know Tony?"

She shrugs, and doesn't comment anymore on it

"give me your address, and I'll bring this back when it's clean again. I'm moving to Gotham for a while soon, anyway"

He does, she doesn't realize he's a Wayne, and they part when the party ends

Cue the entire BatFam sprinting into Jason's room, chasing after a full on scream

Like, they didn't know Jason's voice could get "so high and squeaky, what the hecc?"

They pause as they see Jason litterally jumping up and down

"What the hell, Todd."

Instead of answering, he shoves the jacket in Tim's face with a shite-eating grin

It takes a moment, but Tim scowls and pulls out his wallet

When the rest of the family only look confused, Tim sighs and explains

"He got an MDC original first."

"...you had a bet on that?"

Jason freezes, eyes widening

"HOLY SH*T, I MET THE MDC! SHE WAS SO TINY, OH MY GOD, BATS, WE HAVE TO ADOPT HER!"

They're confused for a solid minute

"YOU DONT UNDERSTAND SHES AN ANGEL AND HAS BLACK HAIR AND BLUE EYES!! SHE'S OBVIOUSLY A WAYNE!"

It takes all of Bruce's willpower not to adopt her on the spot when she visits them

Like, he almost brings up adoption papers

But he knows Stark would fight tooth and nail to keep this baby

So he restrains himself

(for now)

(he swears if one of his children doesn't marry her, he's bringing the adoption papers to court)

She doesn't stay long, only meeting all the Waynes at the house and going back to her hotel

The next day, a villain goes after Mar'i, near the park/mall/something Marinette is by

Instead of becoming Ladybug, she heccin kicks arse

As Marinette

She gets both her and Mar'i out of danger without a scratch using a yo-yo of all things and meets Batman and Robin as they clean up the rest

She's all like "no, it's alright, I'm sure anyone would do the same please stop thanking me, my family's gonna kick my ass to next year for scaring them like this"

Bats comes up and takes her statement, and she happens to mention the situation in Paris

"oh, this was nothing compared to some of the Akuma I've faced" "What's an akuma?" She paled, eyes widening in shock. "You don't know? About Ladybug, Chat Noir, Ryuuko, Viperion, Queen Bee, Red Wasp, Multimouse, Hawkmoth, Mayura, Carapace, Rena Rouge, and all them?"

She explains a little, giving basic information everyone knew, then shows him the app she made a while ago

The Akuma Alert app that held much more than just akuma-related things

She leaves soon after, and Batman has a goal in mind

Within the day, Diana is furious at the lack of response towards the Paris situation

"This Ladybug was left alone for all this time?! Shame on you all, leaving my mother's successor alone!"

When Ladybug is later spotted (hehe, get it?) in Gotham, the entire BatFam finds her and gets her in touch with the League

She explains how she asked both the League and the Avengers for help, all those years ago, and was pushed aside with warnings not to send in prank calls anymore

Of course, Iron Man has already looked into it, but he's not exactly a detective and the more brains on this, the better

Meanwhile, as civilians...

The normal shipping stuff happens

With the exception that nearly every criminal in Gotham low-key adopts Marinette

They may think she's the next Wayne, but the Angel of Gotham is off limits

And not because the little Wayne chases after anyone who even looks at her wrong with a katana

Not just as Robin. As Damian

Marinette actually meets a few villains on the street

She was going to a commission, carrying some hero, vigilante, and villain themed macaroons when she got lost

(before meeting the Waynes officially, actually)

She was in a park, looking lost when Poison Ivy and Harley Quinn came up

She offered treats, and ever since she's the Angel of Gotham

Once, when on a date with her romantic interest, Killer Croc tried taking the restaurant hostage after robbing a bank

Key word: tried

Marinette calmly slipped behind him, grabbed his tail, and dragged his butt outta there

(he blames the fast French girl and the tile on the floor, which didn't let him get a good grip)

By the time Bats and the police got there, Croc was in tears as this tiny French girl lectured him about manners and interrupting dates

(the BatFam can't think of a funnier time)

When the Joker actually kidnaps her as a way to get to Batman, literally everyone rages a rescue mission

Harley, Poison Ivy, Mr. Freeze (Marinette reminds him of the daughter he's always wanted, with his frozen wife), Two-Face (Marinette talked philosophy with him, showing him he still had choices beyond the black and white), Killer Crock (who was impressed by the tiny French girl who threw him out of a restaurant by his tail that one time), Batman, Robin, the Teen Titans, Red Hood, Red Robin, Wonder Woman (she could feel Tikki's influence on Marinette and guessed her identity), Nightwing, all the Avengers, Red Wasp (Chloe, with the Bee Miraculous because she earned it back ages ago), Sabine (no one messed with her baby. No one), a teenage boy wielding a potato gun (who let this kid here?), Pepper, Penny (the two women were fast friends, bonding over their husbands' eccentric ways), Jagged with Fang, Audrey Bourgeois, and the entire police force storm the Joker's hideout

He didn't have a chance

Later, they admit it was kinda funny watching the small Sabine beating the crap out of the deranged clown

Fang, who was usually a puppy with scales, didn't hesitate to bite off the Joker's hand, reminiscent of Captain Hook and the Croc

Marinette's fine (or not, depending on how much angst you want in the story. It's easy to have her tourtured and nearly killed in the Joker's clutches {or actually killed and focused on angst from everyone who knew her [possible heavy Lila/class salt]} and see her move past her PTSD) and she gets home eventually

Around this time, she's made the Guardian of the Miraculous

She eventually goes back to Paris with her huge family (or everyone she thinks could keep their emotions in check)

They kick Gabriel's arse, but Adrien gets away with his mother (who was healed by Ladybug)

Possible second book

Marinette's ship becomes the Black Cat

Time skip, fiveish years later, some of Marinette's classmates see her for the first time since she left

They insult and sass her, not changed since school

Her S/O scowls and debunks them easily, defending Marinette

When they don't stop, Marinette's S/O calls Bruce, Tony, Jagged, and the rest of the League and the Avengers to destroy the morons in the class because they know how long they've waited for this moment

Mari puts her head in her hands, but doesn't stop them because she knows how long they've waited for this moment

Three hours later, the speeches and lectures aren't done yet

Lila eventually goes to Gotham or wherever Marinette is, and tries to warn the person on her arm about Marinette's 'bulling tendencies'

That gets another lecture

Or, her class gets a tour at either SI or WE, depending on when in the story you write it (could be both, and the class just doesn't learn or Tony, Pepper, and their kids were visiting WE to talk about Mari Protection Measures when they overhear it)

Lila goes off on how Mari's S/O is actually Lila's, or how she's BFFS with Batman/Iron Man/ Bruce Wayne and his kids/ Tony Stark and his kids/ the Avengers/ the Justice League

Cue the class seeing Mari

Instant bullying

The resident children and billionaire steps up, insulting and embarrassing the class while defending Mari

Lila tries to turn it around, but they're having none of that

First the kids jump at the chance to defend their little sister and/or girlfriend, then the big guns show up

At WE, it's Bruce, a highly protective Jason, and Tim, who has every single sin/mean thing/lie pulled up in a folder

It's thicker than his hand, and hard to hold

It's both in digital and physical form and sent to every single member of Mari's family- blood related or not

At SI, it's Tony and Pepper

FRIDAY steps up, too

Harley shoots Lila with the potato gun mk 3 until she leaves

The class don't know what they did wrong, but they swear to make it up just to get the scary CEOs and relatives

Also, if anyone knows the AU where Marinette was a street kid with Jason and his little sister (I can't remember who made it or what it was called, but I fell in l o v e), that could work with this one too. Jason would be so proud of his Lil sister being so famous and awesome and "how dare you let me think you were dead!! Do you have any idea how worried I was?!" "I made you worried?! You up and nearly got killed last I checked!"

Jason swore not to tell her he actually died once. He prays she never finds out.

@tired-butterfly @evil-elf16 @doggiediva13 @krispydefendorpolice @mochegato @legallyspawned @kryptored

[http-tigerteef]

bIG s7 rant (yikes) beware of spoilers

anyways, season 7 was ugly,,,

there was only so much giving hunk an arc and family reunions could do to save this season. like honestly there was so much shitty/lazy writing this season and I’m genuinely pissed?

like how could lm and jds really accept the praise they got for lgbt rep when they killed Adam like it was nothing. they said it was emotional for SHIRO? uM? WHERE?! they’re really on something if they think that the 10 seconds of “mourning” was enough! if shiro was as in love with Adam as they made him out to be then why the fuck was his grief passed off like nothing? has shiro not been though enough already? aND ANOTHER THING! bITCH HOW TF WAS ANYONE SUPPOSED TO PICK UP THAT THEY WERE TOGETHER?! listen,, if you didn’t read the articles and only watched the show, Adam could be passed off as shiro’s “best friend” who didn’t want to see him get hurt. there was hardly any romantic coding to adashi????? as a young multiracial queer guy it’s so frustrating to see this treatment of our “canon” gay characters. I really thought that maybe the writers could pull their head out of their asses and write a lgbt experience well. but I can see now that I was boo boo the fucking fool because here we are. fUCK MAN, this season was crap

another shitty thing they decided to write was making lance the “dumb one”

like come on man, fuck off. that’s so unnecessary to the plot? what did we get out of that? I realize that the show is heavy sometimes and that they need some humor every once in a while but? the whole episode (the feud) was humor? they could have made that episode fun all on its own! without calling lance dumb 1000 times to his fucking face. at the very least they could have made him get more than one fucking answer right? at least then he could prove them wrong! but no. with hunk having an actual arc I guess that needed someone else to degrade and make the butt of all the jokes. as a guy who’s half Latino and had people question my intelligence, it’s incredibly heartbreaking for the writers to display lance that way. especially when no one tries to defend him or the fact that they continued to make him that “dumb” character when they had an opportunity to turn that whole idea on its head. that whole episode was bull. and it’s super shitty for them [the writers] to make kl choose each other for who should get out but make Keith come off as a dick. like lance put himself out there and chose Keith for a sweet and logical reason but Keith? nah he just doesn’t wanna be stuck with lance. honestly, fuck that episode.

my last shitty writing example is the weirdly forced het relationships

okay listen, what the fuck? so they’re really gonna give us allurance flirting? after six whole ass seasons, they’re just gonna sprinkle in the fact that Allura might like lance back? bull. how are they gonna say “lance will be the first choice” but then pull that? obviously lance wasn’t the first choice for Allura, Lotor was. so at this point either their gonna disregard that whole statement and just push for Allura or their gonna pull some more bullshit and sloppily make another love interest plot for lance. if they were gonna give lance another love interest this would be the season to do so! that way it could develop next season at a reasonable pace! instead (if they don’t make allurance canon) it’ll be weirdly rushed to fit in the 13 episodes while also finding new things for them to fight. long story short, allurance (if it’s finna be canon) should’ve been handled way better so fuck them.

and now on to kacxa, otp: wtf how

bITCH WHAT THE FUCK! wHO WHAT WHERE WHEN WHY HOW? this is a weird ship okay? when have they even interacted? like twice right? and now we find out axca has a crush on Keith? or something like that? bull. also wtf was that last scene with them? why was she there when krolia and Keith were at his dad’s grave? like? that was an intimate moment meant for just them? why was she there? it’s not like they’re together? it just seemed intrusive and I really hated it.

okay now listen, we been knew that I’m a big klancer. maybe I’m a bit biased but honestly? you get it right? those relationships were set up badly! even the het ones?! like! isn’t that their specialty? I didn’t expect much from our lgbt rep bc how good can it be when written by hets? but I mean? how do you fuck this up?

okay this post is long, so imma stop but, what I’ve been getting at is essentially

FUCK VLD S7

(except hunks arc and the fam reunions uwu)

[theabominableblogger]

Rewatching “The Force Awakens”

Welp, “The Last Jedi” is officially coming out in theaters FRIDAAAAYYYY so I thought “... I might as well rewatch the last onee.... I mean... why not?”

*scats opening theme crazily out loud*

GUYS THEY TELL YOU WHO “THE LAST JEDI” IS IN THE OPENING CRAWL!

Plus Yoda actually calls him “the last of the Jedi” in Episode 6

That Imperial ship passing in front of the planet there looks like a big fat middle finger.  Like “Haha suckas!”

BB-8!

So, age old question, is BB-8 a boy or a girl?  I think BB-8′s a boy...

Oh hi Max von Sydow, who’s barely in this movie!

So how is the Max von Sydow character connected to Luke?  And how does he have the last bit of the map needed to find Luke?

Yeeep, this is a J.J. Abrams movie

Oh that one Stormtrooper had a freaking flamethrower!

“I’ll [Poe] come back for you [BB-8]!”  Aaawww...

I like that the first indication we get that Finn is not an ordinary Stormtrooper is that we actually hear him breathing.  You never hear the other Stormtroopers breathing, just their voices.

*Kylo Ren’s leitmotif starts playing*   Yessss, blare those French horns, John Williams!

OH THAT’S AWESOME

Lens flare!

Take a shot every time one comes up in this movie.

“So who talks first?  You talk first, I talk first?  It’s just very hard to understand you with all the... apparatus...”  OK, so there’s the indication that Poe clearly knows who Kylo Ren was before he turned to the Dark Side so he absolutely gives no shits and goes forward with the straight on mockery.  Amazing.

He’s probably like “Ooooh why hello, Darth Edgelord.  I like your cape, did your mom make it for you?  NO, BECAUSE SHE AND I ARE TOTES BFFs NOW, I HAVE A DROID FOR A SON, AND YOU HAVE A STUPID FACE!”

Oh hi Phasma, who barely has anything to do in this movie!

You guys got Brienne of Freaking Tarth to play a bad guy, and she doesn’t do anything?!?

Aaawww, BB-8!

That’s the nightwatcher!  And it pops up in “Forces of Destiny!”

John Boyega!

Phasma’s armor in that shot doesn’t really look as shiny as it usually does.  Maybe it’s the low lighting

Rey!

Oh I love Rey’s theme

No lie, Rey’s speeder kinda looks like a USB drive

Man, Zazu looks terrible....

What the heck is that?

*imitates Unkar Plutt*  ONE QUA-TAH PO-TION

So has anyone actually taken the time to figure out how long Rey has been on Jakku based on the tally marks on the wall?

BB-8 looks so offended that Rey just shushed him

Oh my gosh, BB-8′s little “Yep!”

Guys, I want a BB-8 so bad now.  Please get me one.

Holy crap, what the heck did they do to Poe?

Oh hello Hux!

I like the little hissing noise that happens when Finn takes off his Stormtrooper helmet

WHY IS THERE A CABLE?!?!?

Wilhelm Scream!

Oh, there’s a targeting thing on the windshield too!

How the heck could Kylo sense that Finn was exactly that one Stormtrooper who was freaked out at the village?  And how does he know Finn’s identification number?  Did he extract the number just on the whim of it?

“No droid can be that important!”  “This one [BB-8] is!”  ThAT’S HIS SON, DAMMIT

Finn gradually stripping off all of his Stormtrooper gear reminds me of “The Prince of Egypt” for some reason.  Plus there’s a sequence of him trekking through the desert to get to a settlement.

“They’re [Hux’s soldiers] obviously skilled at committing high treason.”  The sass is strong with this one...

Hux is like “Son of a bitch...”

Happabore!

Finn’s face when he sees Rey beat off Unkar’s men!

*Rey charges at Finn like an angry bull*  Pfffttt...

“Yes I am.  I'm with the Resistance, yeah.  *whispers* I’m with the Resistance.”  Finn is the K2-SO of the sequel trilogy.  Brilliant.

“[Finn] Stop taking my hand!” Oh let him!

*Rey offers Finn her hand*  Thank you.

AN:  Just a heads up.  I’m only 31 minutes in.  Because I am a motormouth and the video’s stalling so I got time to write down more thoughts.

“That one’s garbage!”  Don’t call the Falcon garbage!

Run, little soccer ball [BB-8], run!

*Rey and Finn absolutely wreck the Niima outpost with the Falcon*  Guys... no...

Holy shit so what exactly happened at the Battle of Jakku that so many Star Destroyers crashed to the planet’s surface?

“I’m [Finn] getting pretty good at this!”  That’s great, kid!  Don’t get cocky!

*The Falcon makes a sharp right out of the graveyard*  OOOOHHHH THAT WAS NICE!

According to the script for this movie, this dude’s name is Mitaka.... please tell me his first name is Hakuna

Wouldn’t Kylo recognize the make and model of the Falcon?  Because, you know, that’s his dad’s ship

“What girl?”  The one.  The one you’re gonna get super pissed at/obsessed with in the next movie.  Because status and other crap.

“Droid, please!”

Where the heck is the Ileenium system?  Probably in the Outer Rim as per usual I suppose?

Pretty sure BB-8 just flipped Finn off

“[Rey] You got a boyfriend?  Cute boyfriend?”  Oh my God...

The hell is that?  It’s even got teeth!

HAN AND CHEWIE!

Han’s like “Oh yeah.  Reunited with my baby.”

Where and what the heck are half the things/planets Han and Finn talk about?

Why didn’t Han have BB-8 hide with Rey and Finn?  He doesn’t know the Death Gang is working with the First Order so isn’t it only common sense that he take extra precautions?  Well then again, this is Han we’re talking about...

“I got a bad feeling about this.”  That’s prequel style IGABFAT

Take a shot every time someone fires a blaster at a sealed door and it opens

“I [Han] never ask that question until after I’ve done it.”  Same.

“This is not how I thought this day was gonna go.”  Also same.

Hi Andy Serkis (Supreme Leader Snoke)!

I like how Kylo just slowly turns toward Hux like “Excuuuusse me, bitch?”

I know Snoke here is just a hologram but dang the motion capture gets so much better in the next movie

Please tell me we get more of the Knights of Ren in the next movie.  C’mon, Rian Johnson, don’t let me down.

*claps with each word*  More flashbacks concerning Kylo’s turn to the Dark Side, please!

Ohhh the Force theme!  I hear you, John Williams!

“I didn’t know there was this much green in the whole galaxy.”  I mean, it is a green screen...

“Women always figure out the truth.”  Salud!

I would love to see/read an AU of Rey working as second mate with Han and Chewie

*sings along with the “Jabba Flow”*

“Where’s my [Maz] boyfriend?” “Chewie’s busy working on the Falcon.” *spit take*

Skeksises!

“Forgive me.  I feel it again...” *resists urge to sing “Johanna” from Sweeney Todd*

“... the pull to the light.”  Oh thank God.

How the heck was Vader’s helmet recovered from Endor?

“Leia doesn’t wanna see me [Han].”  Why the heck not?!?

Wait, that attack on the village in the beginning was Finn’s first battle?!?

The heck...

Biggest question out of the whole movie:  how was Luke’s first lightsaber recovered from Cloud City in Episode 5?

Yoda...

Palpatine?  Did I just hear Palpatine?

Alec Guinness Obi-Wan...

The heck kind of ship is that?

“These are your first steps...”  Ewan McGregor!

So Maz isn’t Force sensitive but she knows about it... please tell me she’s met Chirrut somewhere before the events of Rogue One

Roll those r’s, Hux!

No, not Martha Jones!

How the heck are the beams separating after being shot into space?  Were they separately programmed to hit a specific planet before Starkiller Base fired them?

“Where’d you [Maz] get that [Anakin’s lightsaber]?”  “A good question... for another time.”  Well that’s mighty convenient!

*Kylo Ren’s leitmotif starts playing*  Here we go...

Han just shot that Stormtrooper without looking.  Badass.

That’s like Hawkeye in “The Avengers” shooting down that one Chitauri without looking

*in best TR-8R voice*  TRAITOR!

Those wave vortexes though!

*Kylo pops out of nowhere*  Oh crap!

I like how when Kylo uses the Force to make people stop in place, it’s just like they literally freezed and they look so uncomfortable and rigid when it happens

I just noticed that whenever Adam Driver speaks like really softly, his voice gets a little high pitched

So how did Kylo knock out Rey with the Force?  Is it like a unique Force ability that’s already out there?

In Rebels, the loth wolf knocks Sabine out but it’s more of a roofie breath effect.  Here, Kylo does this kinda pulling motion when he does it.

Oh my God, Leia...

GOD DAMMIT, 3PO

OH MY GOSH BB-8 RUNNING TOWARD POE WITH JOY!

#WeNeedMorePoe2k17

Fun Fact:  the medic attending Chewie is played by Christopher Lee’s niece

“Princesses...”  Excuse you [3PO]?!?

“R2-D2 has been in low power mode ever since Master Luke went away...”  Well, that’s convenient!

Something I want to see:  young Ben Solo traveling with his dad Han Solo. 

Dad Solo:  A Star Wars Story

“Where am I [Rey]?”  “You’re my [Kylo] guest.”  Is Kylo always super smarmy with his prisoners?

*Kylo takes off his mask*  Oh no, he’s... a regular human being... with somehow perfect hair...

*shrugs*

I mean, hey, apparently we’re getting Beefcake Kylo in “The Last Jedi,” so I guess this was Star Wars getting its fandom ready...

Hey guys, I found the cast of Rogue One.

“You [Rey] know I [Kylo] can take whatever I want.”  EEEUGGHHHHH

This is how the script describes Kylo’s first attempt at reading Rey’s mind:  Kylo Ren nearly TOUCHES HER FACE...  THEY'RE BOTH SURPRISED: they react to a feeling that passes between them -- AN ENERGY THEY RECOGNIZE IN EACH OTHER. And then it's gone. Adversaries again.

STAR WARS, EXPLAIN!  I AM CONFUSION!

“You... you’re afraid... that you will never be as strong as Darth Vader.”  OOOHHHHHH

So what is Snoke’s backstory?  Apparently he’s older than both Plagueis and Palpatine and he’s got his face cut up like a Papa John’s pizza.  So what’s up?

[Kylo starts stalking down the hall] *starts scatting “Stayin’ Alive” by the Bee Gees*

Bwahahahahahaha... *deep breath*  HAHAHAHAHAHA!!

Those two Stormtroopers though!

So to power Starkiller Base, they suck the energy out of a Sun?  Wasn’t that used in “Revenge of the Fallen?”

“It’s just another Death Star.”   AMEN!

“Some things never change.”  “True.  You [Han] still drive me [Leia] crazy.”  AAAGGHHH

*Han and Leia hug*  AAAAAAAAAAGGGHHH

What the heck is Galactic Standard Time?  The announcement at the base said that everyone needs to re-synchronize their time to that.  So does that mean there’s a Galactic Daylight Saving Time as well?

“We’re making our landing approach at light speed?”  Uhhh yeah... that’s gonna work out well...

*The Falcon slides to a stop*  Yeaahhhh no, everyone’s dead after that.

“That’s not how the Force works!”  Best.  Line.  Ever.

I still want that on a poster.

If Rey could get a hold on a blaster, why can’t she also just knock out a random trooper and take his armor?

Finn, why did you leave Phasma at the desk by herself?!?!?

What are those two troopers?

*Finn and Rey hug*  Aaaawwww....

“It would take a miracle to save us now.”  Oh but of course.

No lie, Kylo with his mask on kinda reminds me of Daffy Duck for some reason. 

Aaw Finn gave Rey his jacket!

“BEN!”  WhAt, Daaaad?!?!?

Oh that shot’s awesome

“I’m [Kylo] being torn apart.”  HI BEING TORN APART, I’M DAD!

NOOOOOOOOOooooooooo....

*Han runs his hand along Kylo’s cheek before falling*  Gooodd.... I’mmmm not OK, I am not OK

*Leia senses Han’s death with the Force*  AAAAAAGGGHHH

Take a shot whenever you see a random Stormtrooper go flying from an explosion

I just realized that when Kylo was giving his little speel, he was looking directly at Rey and completely ignored Finn standing right beside her.

“TRAITORRRRRRR!!”  Oh there ya go.  Now ya pissed him off.

“That lightsaber- it belongs to me!”  IT BELONGS IN A MUSEUM!

*Rey uses the Force to summon the lightsaber*  WHOOOOOOO LET’S GOOO!

Oh wow, they’re just hacking down trees right and left.

Ex-PLOsions...

*Rey does a somersault*  PARKOUR!

I love how Rey’s just basically using the lightsaber like a bat.

*softly*  Oooohh the Force theme...

That shot’s awesome too.  Holy crap.

Rey just sliced up Kylo’s face and arm like a Christmas ham.

[Rey and Kylo get separated]  *sings*  We’ll meet again... don’t know when... don’t know where...

I wonder if Rey even knows who Leia is.  Stupid question but it’s gotta be asked sometime...

Someone hug Chewie, dang it!

The first thing R2 does when he wakes up is insult 3PO.  Amazing.

So how long was R2 asleep?  In extension, how long has Luke been away?

Leia:  May the Force be with you

*cries*

Skellig Island [Ahch-To] looks gorgeous

How long has Luke been standing there?  Did he know Rey was coming and go “Oh, I gotta do a dramatic turn around and reveal when she comes.  Better get ready...”

*Rey offers Luke the lightsaber*  So was there a hand attached to that?

It would be pretty freaking hilarious if in the next movie, Luke takes it and then pulls a Moana and just chucks it.  I would literally die laughing.

[powerovernothing]

A little while back I saw that that the most lovely @sevi007​ created a super wonderful post based around the idea of a crossover happening with Yondu and Peter based around the film Road to El Dorado.

Now, considering that’s one of my all time favorite animated movies, and the concept is just way too fitting for our Local Space Assholes that we know and love... well, honestly, I couldn’t help but get inspired and write my own take on this fantastic idea.

So, with that in mind, as well as knowing this is totally in honor of Sevi’s great headcanons, please take a moment and consider both Yondu Udonta and Peter Quill in an over the top scenario similar to the one of the film.

Imagine the two of them in the roles of Miguel and Tulio, but shift the plot ever so slightly so that it fits the world of the Guardians of the Galaxy.

Meaning that, while it’s still based on Road to El Dorado of course, it goes from two best friends searching for a golden city, to a father and son looking for great riches...in space!

And while that idea alone can totally create something hilarious with great dialogue, allow me to take a moment and discuss in further detail my own thoughts of what this grand Ravager Family adventure would entail.

(Lots of Yondad and Star Son crossover headcanon and fic under the cut! Prepare for a mix of many feelings~!)

~Both Ravager Father and Son pulling many a scam, as they often do, on some backwater hub on some equally tattered planet, to earn a few extra units on the side -- “’Cussa can’t have on’ too many units, eh, boy?” -- and having it go all so perfectly with Yondu at the head of said scams -- until Peter manages to set his eyes upon a particular holo-map of an unmarked planet being tossed into the betting pile. One that he, oh so surely, believes is indeed their massive ticket to massive wealth -- because when dealing with something that unique, why on earth would it ever be anything else? -- and thus completely forcing his old man into one final game to try his hand in winning their original earnings as well as the map to boot: “Pops, check this shit out! Look at it! Just imagine all the untapped potential! The mystery! The units! The women! It could be like our, I dunno, our destiny or something to find this place before anyone else! Possibly even our fate!” “Boy, if ah’even so much as believed in any’sorta idea o’fate, ah’wouldn’t be sitting up in this shitty bar with you tossing around loaded dice!” “Aw, c’mon, Yondu!” “Oh, don’tcha even start -- not with ‘dem damn eyes of yers -- aw, hell!”

~Them actually winning the game, without a doubt, and collecting the units and the map...but sadly ending up getting caught because of all their scamming done to the locals -- “Guess ‘that ol’ Ravager luck was bound to run out sometime, eh, pops?”/”Dont’cha go blaming ‘dis shit on me now, boy! Ya the one wanted the fool map ta’ begin with!” -- and thus, having to create yet another con just to get away with their asses in tact. Meaning, but of course, fake fighting each other all the way out of the bar and towards some amount of safety. Which looks almost too convincing to any sort of onlookers that aren’t sure what is teasing, conning, or actual truth when it comes to Captain and Star Lord. (But that’s okay, because sometimes neither do they.)

“Ya go an’ raise a boy ever since he was nutfin more ’den ah’ scrawny lil’ youngin, and what he go and do ta’ya in return? Give you loaded dice ta’ get’cha nabbed by’th law?! What kinda’ son would’a -- ah! Nova Core thank’tha stars yer here! Go on now! Arrest ‘dis embarrassment; drag ‘im outta ma’ sight!” “What the hell, you arrogant blueberry? I put up with all your crazy bull for years, and you wanna start shit talking me like this?! When you're the one controling all the cons in the first place, and just pullin’ me along for the ride! No way, arrest him! He’s the crooked one!” “Tha’ it, boy, I just about had enough outta yoo’! Ya and yer damn disrespect! If ya got any sorta scrote left’on ya, you would flash ‘em fancy blasters of yers, and show what kinda man you really are!” “A better man than you, obviously! Come on, let’s go! I’ve been wanting to do this for years!”

~Both of them escaping far away from the various aliens wanting their heads because of their tricks -- after all the blaster shots, whistles, and countless amounts of property damage ring throughout the bar and the streets --  as well as the Nova that has become too done with these two to ever be lenient ever again. And very ‘cleverly’ stowing away on a, what they assumed to be at the time, completely ship and having to escape from that in the end as well.

Because apparently fate -- “And boy, ah’really wish ya’d stop using ‘dat damn term.” -- just loves to take the piss out of them whenever convenient. So they end up floating in a poor, pitiful, half functioning escape pod in the middle of space’s absolute nowhere as wait for life support to give out. "Pops, you ever think that we'd end up going out like this?" "...Well, shit, lotta ways ah’thought our last moments would go, but nowhere near ‘dis humiliatin’" "Hah, well since we're probably gonna kill over any second now, ya got -- I dunno, any regrets, old man?" "A'sides dying out n’space with’cha, boy?" "Yep." "Pffft, hell 'course I do. One bein’ -- I ain't never had ‘nough credits t’pay off all 'em bounties an’ threats on all 'em planets." "My regret -- 'sides killin' over -- is that our most badass adventure, our most epic Ravager heist, is friggin' over before it really even got going, and ain't no one even gonna remember what we did! In this planet. Or in that star system. Or how many people we pissed off in that one..." "Prob’ly space exposure  gettin' all up in these ol' eyes or sumfin -- but I figure I oughta let'cha know, Pet --" "Oh wait, don't tell me. Right before you die on me, leaving me all alone in this escape pod -- and first of all, how effing dare you -- ya gonna tell me something all sappy and heartfelt? Like, how you never knew jackshit about raisin’ a kid, but you did your best and in the end ‘I really came ta care fer ya like my own, Petey, and I don’t wanna leave ya, even though it’s mostly all my fault in the first place -- ‘" "...Al'rite 'dats it. I had this whole' speech all rearin' to go, but ya just had to go and ruin it. Well, fergit' it; ya ain't worth the breath. And it was damn nice too, ah’ll have ya know." "Yeah, yeah...love ya too, Yondu."

~The two of them eventually getting out of the pod, (After crashing landing, with a lot of loud swears, whistling, and throwing the blame around. Because obviously this is Peter’s fault somehow.) and even despite the super close call, Peter then realizes where exactly they ended up and having a sudden second wind full of adventure and excitement!

“‘Ey, boy, getc’ha ass over here and help out with this ‘ere pod! We gotta get it runnin...unless o’course yer wanting to make dis ‘ere yer second Terra --” “Holy shit, Yondu.” “Quill, now, I expect ya’ to answer me when I’m orderin --” “Holy shit, Yondu! You are not going to believe our luck!” “What are ya shout-- oh hell, don’tcha tell me that that is --” “We almost died like, way more times than normal, and got lost in space on top of that, but oh my God, look! We’re actually here! We found it!” “Ya still have that piece’a junk, after all ‘dis time!? And durin’ all that, you ain’t never thought about -- I dunno, grabbing a lil’ more resources!?” “Dude, get over here, look, look, look! You said so yourself, back at the bar --” “I reckon I said a’ lotta things --” “You said this place could be real, and it is, man! It totally is! And we are the first ones to find it! The riches! The mystery! The women! It’s completely ours!” “...Remind me ‘gain why I ain’t dumped yer crazy ass years ago?”

Outside of the amusing interactions that ended up leading to the Guardians versions of “El Dorado”, imagine for a moment how you could take this crossover idea and turn it into something quite clever and original! I’m sure that everyone has their own ideas -- but since I’m always the one who loves coming up with adventures for these two. How about for a moment, you consider this here: ~The two of them, after being on the Trail We Blaze for quite a while, and having to rely on each other’s expertise to figure out the map -- including Yondu getting annoyed at first, because how on earth did his son ever talk him into trucking through wilderness of an unknown world, and “Ya sure ya even know where’th hell ya going, boy?”  -- eventually finding out the secrets of the uncharted planet. That being a long lost Centaurian tribe that automatically hails them both as Gods -- Yondu as the one that “Escaped His Chains” and Peter as "The One Who Carries The Light” ~Yondu being incredibly unnerved by this idea, mostly over Peter’s title, and when said, oh so stupid, son of his gets way too ahead of himself in terms of newfound fame -- “Petey, ya know that ther’ lil’ voice ‘dat folks have 'dat tell ‘em to quit when they’re ahead?”/”Uh, yeah --?”/”YA AIN’T GOT ONE, BOY.” -- he actually decides to go along with the wild and crazy idea of “Godhood”. Firstly, just to make sure that Peter doesn’t end up getting himself killed over all of this, and second because never had any warm feelings for his people; (And finding a full tribe of them isn’t exactly the most comfortable thing) so, if he can have a little bit of fun at their expense and also walk away rich...well, it couldn’t be all bad, right? ~Both Ravager Father and Son having to keep up their God like con for three whole days, until they can get some means of transport back to the Elector properly, and Yondu’s fun starting to melt away into full fledged worry. Because being around these people for one evening is bad enough, and obviously Peter doesn’t release what could happen if they are caught, and the repressed memories alone--! “No, seriously man, look at this -- having been hidden away for so long, aren’t you just the least bit curious  --” ”Hell no, boy! Don’t’yoo even move so much’asa muscle!” ”Hah, Yondu, c’mon, ya gotta be --” ”Wha I just tell ya?! And look’atcha! Yer moving! You are abs’olu’ly moving! And I just said not to!” “Whoa, hang on, I just --” “Ey, ey! Stop, right now, Quill! I mean it!” “P-Pops, ya can’t be --” “I swear ta’th stars, that if you so much as move an inch, I’ll show ya just how many of ‘dem “Eat’yoo” threats I really meant! Just. Stay. Put. Peter!” “For, three, friggin’ days?!”

~Peter eventually escaping out from underneath his dad’s watchful gaze, and exploring the village all on his own. And in doing so, bringing music to the Centaurian children, and teaching them how to dance, oh so awkwardly mind you, but the concept just being very sweet all the same. ~The mood ultimately shifting at the end of the big adventure, because of a Centaurian slaver secretly being among the tribe. And him knowing who both Peter and Yondu are -- who they really are -- and thus believing that they would fetch an amazing price along with the rest of the slaves, and  turning against them because of greed and selfishness. The exact same thing that originally brought both Father and Son to finding this place to begin with. And so, when that terrible truth comes to light, both Yondu and Peter end up throwing their original plans away -- because they may be a-holes, surely, but they’re not, as they would say, 100% dicks, and oh man do they really hate slavers -- and Yondu takes on the slaver single handed, while Peter frees the children and elders that had been captured and tortured while under this terrible Centaurian’s awful control. Meaning that, after all their greatness, the two of them end up being held as heroes among the people. Not Gods, but heroes. And somehow that just feels a whole hell of a lot better.

~The Centaurians going a bit further with their praise, and offering Yondu a place among their tribe because of how he destroyed the slaver with his own hands, and broke free all the chains that held them down. But Yondu simply shaking his head to their words, knowing well enough that his place is out there among the Stars -- with a certain annoying ass lil’ Lord of them right beside him as they both chart their own paths through the galaxy. ~Yondu throwing an arm around Peter’s shoulder, and the two of them walking away from the village with massive grins on their faces.

Not only because they make damn fine heroes when they want to be, but also during the intense battle, both Father and Son managed to take whatever the slaver had on him. That being a fair amount of credits that will keep the Ravagers going for quite a while, but also some rather interesting coordinates to a nearby Slaver camp.

“Ah’m kinda feeling up to a Free Em and Burn Em run; what’cha say, son?” “I say that you completely read my mind, old man.”

Because maybe Peter and Yondu enjoy the occasional adventure in space, and maybe they both end up getting on each others nerves when that adventure doesn’t go according to plan, (Or goes too well?) and perhaps they completely adore the idea of relaxing with endless amounts wealth underneath them...

...but by the end of the day, they still remain the duo that they’ve always been. The ones that care too deeply and loves too easily, and will willingly protect and save all that they’re able to, including each other, even though they would deny all the way to the grave that they’re nothing more than Ravagers.

And don’t you know that they don’t have a heart?

But even as the Slaver Camp burns down to ashes, and Yondu and Peter manage to grant freedom to the ones that were denied it, and begin their next big adventure together with the rest of Ravagers crew...you know that no matter what comes their way; they won’t ever change.

Freeing slaves, burning camps, getting drunk off their asses and taking the occasional extra unit when no one is looking, they still are the actual worse kinds of heroes that the galaxy has ever known.

...But isn’t that one of the mains reasons that we adore these assholes so much? ;)

[yugihell]

Rowan Reads YGO Volume 1

In which I (fairly pointlessly I know) liveblog my reading of Volume One of the manga and talk about the things I found interesting. As you can guess by the fact I’ve put it under a cut, there were... quite a few bits. But you get pictures too, so it’s not all bad.

Next -->

Note: Using English names (except for Ryou when he turns up), and Atem for ‘Yami Yugi’ cus if I’m going to reconcile this as the same character I’ll have to start as I mean to go on.

----

Duel 1 - You Could’ve Just Played Basketball:

Who the fuck plays Pop-Up Pirate on their own?

AU fic where Yugi goes and plays basketball, makes friends that way, and never meets Atem.

But seriously, it’s not like he’s shunned by his classmates. He chooses to stay inside on his own rather than play ball with them, which I think is important.

Is it just me who wants to work the “we’ll let the girls play too” and “only a girl would care about a box” kind of lines for trans Yugi headcanons. No, just me? Fine.

So Yugi’s actually saying the thought boxes out loud. Does he do this a lot?

Téa being a badass and pervy-definitely-not-Fluffy-Bunny-Yugi™. 👌

Ok, so A) Yugi’s watched Dragon Ball, of course he has. B) He just assumes you get a wish? The wish isn’t canon?? I have been lied too???

Joey’s really caught up on this whole Yugi = Girl thing huh. I spy with my little eye, something beginning with niche-in-which-to-place-repressed-sexuality-Joey-with-a-crush. I can tick Wishshipping off my ‘How To Ship Every Character With Every Other Character’ list.

Why is Yugi so cavalier over his Grandpa’s future death? I can only assume that Yugi’s too immature to fully grasp this stuff (including what Atem’s doing and that’s why he doesn’t freak out more).

Gramps, I like you. So I’m gonna ignore this bit of your characterisation that has you perving on teenage girls.

Yeah, gaining powers and knowledge of darkness is in no way a wish, what is wrong with this boy.

But Gramps wanting to hawk the puzzle for cash is killing me. (So he didn’t discover the puzzle? Or is this retconned later?)

Yugi has some sort of bullying-based Stockholm Syndrome and I am uncomfort with alla this.

Joey: “Why are you doing this? If you stayed quiet like always…If you didn’t resist…You wouldn’t get hurt.” - there are worlds in that line. So Yugi doesn’t do this - he’s no defender of the meek, just meek. This implies something about Joey’s ‘code’ of bullying Yugi, and in addition actually runs counter to the whole ‘don’t be a girl’ (implying ‘fight back’) thing. Then put in a healthy dose of abusive homelife projection and I’ll just be in the corner sobbing.

Drowned-Rat Joey is not helping my condition. And he talked about this shit to Grandpa to try and keep Yugi safe. My heart.

Gramps. I love you for giving Yugi the money, I do. But GO TO THE POLICE. No wonder they settle everything with card games. AU where all the fucked up stuff inspires Téa to be lawyer by day and star dancer by night.

Grandpa if you know all this about the puzzle, why are you not more concerned?

I actually said “Uh oh” when I saw Atem.

Can Atem magically counterfeit money? Because that’s a useful skill.

You know how we’re never sure how fucked up Ryou is? That’s the feeling everyone has towards Yugi in-universe.

Atem holding out the knife to Ushio by the handle, cus safety first.

Springing like a gazelle there. No one would’ve guessed you’d been trapped in a puzzle for millennia.

Is there an argument to be made that Atem becomes more and more separate from Yugi as the series progresses because he’s feeding off Yugi. Not necessarily in a bad way. Like at the moment we’re in “less than the meanest ghost” and mostly magic phase - that perhaps this is closer to Marik’s experience, shadow magic emphasising certain traits and separating it from the host (though Atem is still an entity in his own right, mixed up in that). idk food for thought.

Presumably Ushio doesn’t get better. Hey angst fic: Atem going ‘round and finding everyone he fucked up and trying to fix it or make amends. Finding flowers on gravestones.

Yugi you just completed the puzzle and you’re chucking it in the air. My guy.

Joey’s riddle isn’t the same as the puzzle box’s even though I’ve seen those two conflated a lot. The puzzle has the hint of “something you see but have never seen before” - which I’m guessing refers to the eye. But am I supposed to buy that the ancient Egyptians never saw their own reflection, cus I��m calling bull. And the eye isn’t even part of the puzzle, it’s all on one piece - so how is it a hint? Eh.

Bless my little emotionally repressed chicken nugget running away and leaving his shoe behind.

---- Duel 2 Big (Pixel) Art-Attack:

Aw, look at the little bun-bun so happy about getting the chance to watch hardcore pornography.

“Maybe someone famous goes to our school.” … Good point. Kaiba, where are you?

Joey assuming ‘the star’ is male. This boy has a lot of ingrained sexism and unless manga-verse is way different, I don’t see that turning around much here.

Seriously, Yugi only counted one new friend. Where is StaTristically-average-tan?

*DBZTAS Nappa voice* Hey Fujita…

Yugi of course buys that it’s a girl straight off the bat. Mostly because he’s coping with full raging teenage hormones in a body that’s not even 5ft tall. Atem must’ve spent a lot of nights (/mornings/weekends/evenings) locked in his Soul Room with his fingers in his ears while trying to come up with new Duel Monsters strategies. It’s probably why he’s so good at it.

Joey’s willingness to kick people’s ass is great. And I know we all like the idea of completely non-violent little Yugi, but he didn’t say a word to stop Joey going for the guy.

Yugi’s little clenched fists when he’s kneeling beside Joey - cus it is still him at that point. You see what I mean when I say the ‘Atem’ we see here feels like both extension of Yugi as much as separate entity.

Also the fact that the idea of this Penalty Game clearly comes from porn that Atem hasn’t been exposed to yet. Unless Yugi got right on that after solving the puzzle, which I suppose is possible. I usually just have a bottle of good quality ginger beer or something to celebrate my accomplishments, but to each their own.

I really want to see a good live action yugioh thing where Yugi and Atem are played by the same actor. Maybe using twins to freak out the audience by suddenly having a scene with both of them in.

Now the Astragali thing is cool, but can someone chart out for me what things Atem remembers about Ancient Egypt and what things he doesn’t.

I can see why Kaiba and Atem work so well together. They’re both cheating bastards at heart.

Bonus - Future King Of Games:

---- Duel 3 - Attention Duelists My Son Is Assaulting Your Ears (And This Random Kid):

Is Karaoke guy Attention Duelist’s son? Cus he really looks like it.

Joey friendshipping aggressively:

Someone blow up that tiny frame of Téa punching a perving Joey in the face for me so I can hang it on my wall.

Yugi, it’s getting people to go and see a guy sing badly, not to get dismembered. No-one liked selling school raffle tickets to dupes either, just buck up and deal. Maybe he’s got better - he’s practicing at least.

…Eh, but I’dve probably taken Hanasaki’s tickets too. I’m with Yugi’s reasoning here.

Yugi brought bells. Huh.

Ok so what’s the ship name for Yugi x Hanasaki. Come on now, I know it’s out there. Misplacedguiltshipping perhaps.

“I- Is this really Yugi…?! It’s like he’s possessed…” DING DING DING AND THE WINNER IS SOZOJI! Come on down and claim your prize (which I’m guessing is some kind of Penalty Game to the face).

Aw, my mother used to make me play The Silence Game all the time.

This expression:

“By a strange coincidence” read: Atem planned this Shadow Game out ahead of time. By putting in these weird dancing clowns. So if anyone was going to imply that it only got this extreme because Hanasaki got beaten up - your argument is invalid.

Um, nice of you to help carry Hanasaki away, very cute, but uh can we go back to the whole Shadow-Magic-Tinnitus, cus there was a line of rationality we crossed.

---- Duel 4Kids Averted:

Joey: “What? Are you scared? You have no guts!” Yugi: “But he has a gun! A gun!” Due to the lack of Tristan, Yugi here is forced to take over the role of ‘Only Reasonable Man’.

Joey canonically watches shitty journalist/detective movies and I love it.

Téa backing away with her frozen ‘welcome’ smile still on her face!

Obviously Joey can’t keep a secret, no surprises there, but little things like the translation still giving him a bit of an accent with the “awright” is interesting. Not just dub then.

The anime would’ve been better if we’d got to see Téa writing “TELL AND YOU DIE!!” on some burgers.

Joey being immediately supportive of Téa though and promising to keep his trap shut - even as Yugi expects him to say something rude. That’s cute as hell. And Téa paying for the ruined burgers.

The gunman’s threats and Joey not being able to keep his head down. This section’s full of neat bits for him.

Now this is interesting. This is the first time we see Yugi switch out of panic rather than anger. This is the first time Atem hasn’t been able to premeditate his reaction as well - he had time to plan all the previous encounters. Perhaps this is why it ends in the guy’s death.

I’ve changed my mind. I don’t think Yugi’s aware of what’s going on at all. New hypothesis: The reason he’s not more fucked up over setting a man on fire is because he doesn’t know ‘he’ did it - Joey seems to think it was the guy being an idiot, so why wouldn’t Yugi also think it was an accident. He clearly doesn’t see Ushio after, we never see him give the Director another thought, and don’t get to see any reaction after Sozoji either.

And Téa falling victim to the ‘Who was that masked man’ trope. *sigh*

---- Duel 5 - Troubles With Trelawney Kokurano:

Joey and his fighting expertise rears its head with no rebuke from Yugi.

Anzu: “You’ve seen the girls disappearing off at recess, right? They go to get their fortunes told. Anyway… I’m not into that stuff, but…” Joey: *glittering eyes* “I gotta get my fortune told! Right on!” Then being desperate to maintain his image cus it’s not cool for a guy to get his fortune told and passing the buck onto Téa. There’s some solid Joey and ‘girl’ meta in this stuff, huh?

(I see you meeting a tall handsome stranger. There’s a… blimp? A dog costume?? A blimp again??? *shakes crystal ball* hang on it does this sometimes)

Yugi getting pissed off at this unworthy sweaty goblin pawing Téa.

Téa swooning about the idea of Atem. Am I the only one who remembers him SETTING A MAN ON FIRE.

Joey getting grumbly over his tiny “You’re having bad luck” fortune. Aw, bad luck Joey. *ducks Joey’s punch*

Yugi getting straight to the point and calling the fortune teller a fraud to their face, albeit in a cute and evasive way.

Not entirely sure how Atem managed to avoid the bookshelves, but hey, this is the gazelle we’re talking about.

How did Kokurano get a bottle of chloroform? Which is actually labelled chloroform? Are there top chloroform brands?

“As long as I have my powers, any woman is mine!” - I mean you did just drug her, which isn’t very mystical powers/sunglasses emoji of you. Is he actually a bit unbalanced? Eh, regardless, he just chloroformed a girl so there’s no sympathy from me.

So this whole ‘paper pulling’ game is where Atem got his very extra card drawing style from.

Atem nearly losing and his cute “well this is a bit of a pickle” expression.

Can I be annoyed that there is no actually comeuppance for this one. Besides haha people find out he’s a fraud maybe. Cus while this is still morally grey and ultimately a reasonable end, Atem is not about the reasonable endings - see Sozoji the karaoke guy. He drugged Anzu for what we will euphemistically call ‘nefarious’ means. Why can’t he be programmed to have a 5 second delay to the rest of the world? Or everything is a bit laggy - permanently. This isn’t the one where I wanted you to develop a sense of reasonable punishment damn it.

----

Duel 6 - welp. i’m going to grillby’s:

Joey. I love you man. But shut up. -high fives the girl who told him to ‘drop dead’-

The fuck? You’re making a life sized Pop-Up Pirate for a carnival? Yugi. Boy. Go outside.

And we learn that Joey can build stuff. If he’s been making garage kits and plastic models for ages, is his room a secret nerd zone? Model planes and painted Duel Monsters figures everywhere.

Inogashira turning up and yelling at them to get out of their spot. Yugi doing his little shrinking down thing, while Téa storms right up in his face like ‘hell no’.

“Heh heh heh! There’s always some moron who starts a fight at these things! *And I wouldn’t miss it for the world!*” If I’ve read a more Joey line in this thing…

*Joey gets foot stuck and ends up being punched in the face* Yeah, that’s very him too.

Yugi earns 10 points to Gryffindor for courage, but loses 5 for stupidity. ~I fought the grill and the grill won~

Yugi now shown to switch when: angry, panicked, and when friend is crying.

(And did Atem just jump from the window? If they’re on the ground, couldn’t Tea just look out the window for him? If my injured friend suddenly vanished and there was an open window, I wouldn’t just be standing there).

WHERE DID YOU GET A TEST TUBE OF EXPLOSIVES ATEM?

HOW HAVE YOU HAD TIME TO FREEZE IT IN PUCK-SHAPED ICE?

Atem yet again gets in over his head in a game of his own making. And resorts to cheating - because yes Atem, that very much was cheating.

Atem exploded the guy - Yugi poured his energy into rebuilding the fair. Really confirming to me the idea that Yugi doesn’t know what Atem’s up too.

----

Duel 7 - Maybe He’s Born With It Maybe It’s An Ancient Spirit:

Now that’s interesting, Yugi not really liking Tristan, and Tristan thinking that Yugi’s got a grudge against him.

Joey: “Y’know, your store sells all kind of weird stuff, right?” Yugi: “Um… our store sells games…” Right, what weird stuff are they selling? Are the games like Snakes And Ladders sort of games, or Jumanji sort of games. I don’t trust Grandpa.

Grandpa: “I haven’t told Yugi the story, but this was how I got his grandmother.” Gramps you’re making that sound less ‘I romantically confessed my feelings on a blank puzzle’ and more ‘I traced around my dong and gave her a time and date’.

Tristan deciding he’s not a romantic after all and will force the tiny hormonal soda can to write his love letter. Great. “My beloved Ribbon, you look perfect in your yellow ribbon. I love you more than anything in the universe. From Hiroto Honda” You stayed up all night writing that? Kaiba could’ve written better and his emotional understanding is somewhere between a kumquat and a block of concrete.

Is Ms Chono related to Mai?

She needs more self-esteem. Also a chill pill. Maybe another hobby. Don’t need to go all Snape-y on your students.

“Underage dating is strictly prohibited” What the hell? You ok, Japan?

Again Tristan, you don't need to do a dramatic internal ‘goodbye cruel world’ you’re not about to be murdered.

Atem’s back to not murdering, ok. That was actually extremely tame of you. She wasn’t even covered in tentacles or anything.

FINALLY confirmation that Yugi isn’t ‘present’ for any of this stuff.

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So. Volume 1 done. I’ve got to admit I found that way more readable than I expected (given my usual difficulties reading manga). Knowing the characters and their voices really helped a lot. Little things like finding out ‘the wish’ wasn’t real, and that Yugi isn’t present for these early switches is fascinating.

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