#obv there was the health issues but something else must have happened. they NEVER talk about him
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finally listened through the entirety of rude tales patreon backlog (a treat to start and end with honey heist) and now i have to enter a world where once again there is no taylor
#post for two people#i miss taylor so much. i want to know what happened between them all so bad#obv there was the health issues but something else must have happened. they NEVER talk about him#also what the hell am i gonna listen to now. i NEED a show to be working through between my other shows. misery#i guess i could do naddpod again but i got kind of bored with it honestly#chatpost
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The fact that tiger calls her golden flower...like I ain’t even read the thing but that has me feeling Some type of way....obvs Goldens better off away from him but like, what does Tiger...think/feel idk about her/the situation, if you’ve given it any thought? I’m super curious
i have given it all thought lovely anon.
okay, we're going to put this under a cut.
cw: sexual assault, child abuse, abuser's pov of abuse
ohh i accidentally took a dose of my meds too early i can Feel it that's fine this is fine sorry if i ramble a lot i am Wired.
tigerstar is a fundamentally terrible person. while i have his rationale for basically everything he does, please forgive me for not going in-depth into his perspective. it's not something i generally like doing, and i've already given myself enough tawny fics to indulge that side of this au.
anyway, we're still going to talk about it. just. from a more analytical pov. probably., i don't know. i told you i am Wired. i am. trying to stay on topic instead of rambling about reward centres.
anyway.
tigerstar! goldenflower! okay so. anon ik u said u haven't read mistyfoot's fic, so i'll try to be good and provide good examples. so basically, tigerstar alternates between being angry at mistyfoot and...almost treating her like a mate?
and there's uh. we'll focus on the mates thing for this because the anger thing is a whole different topic. all quotes i'm going to use come from "the blood is rare and sweet as cherry wine," for personal reasons i don't feel comfortable directly linking to it, so you can find it on my ao3. (should be a link on my pinned post, about page, sidebar, etc. there are like 14 links because self Promotion.)
okay so like. misty's first interation with tigerstar and he calls her brave and noble. there's. a lot i could unpack but i'm trying to get to the goldenflower thing. so i'm going to move on, his second significant interaction is:
"With who?" Tigerstar says. His tail flicks to her chin. The sudden gesture of kindness startles her. "Besides, Mistyfoot. If you want to help your Clan so badly, there are better ways you can help."
which ooh boy the tangent cannot be avoided. so okay tigerstar wants power, yeah?
and the thing is, any she-cat can have a position of power he's completely limited from. which is why he manipulates mistyfoot using that, it's a power trip, it's taking that position away from her.
but the reason he fixates so heavily on this is because of...
goldenflower.
he leaves his kits with her because he has no authority over her. or them. my world does not have paternity rights lmao. sorry. different not better.
but that's, uh. yeah wow. he's doing a Lot with that re goldenflower if you want to analyze it from that pov, which we do. goldenflower is a queen, right? we've never seen her to have an apprentice. while i like giving her apprentices, holding to canon here and say, she probably hasn't.
and that's. tigerstar is. he's putting mistyfoot into a similar position as goldenflower so that he can this time have control over the situation.
(maybe that's what he would've done with the kits. take them away from mistyfoot. because he has the power this time. or force her to raise them, knowing that he's going to turn them against her. i don't know. there's a Lot he could have done.)
anyway, so yeah! that's his first interaction. and he's already putting pressure on mistyfoot's value as a queen.
they have some more interactions, but let's jump ahead to
"It's alright," he whispers, like she did not watch him tear Featherpaw open. He wraps his tail around her, pulling her in like he could comfort her, like Featherpaw's blood does not coat his claws.
what's up with this? well, it has a lot to do with how i view goldenflower and tigerclaw's relationship. he's trying to...do a lot. there's a power trip in this, there's a "if i force her to do it enough, maybe she'll do it naturally," there's a lot. and you wouldn't know unless i told you, so you can freely dota, but this is. tigerstar is puling on what his relationship with goldenflower was like. (from his pov.)
and the thing is it works. i'm skipping past some stuff i may or may not circle back to, but it works. i mean it does and it doesn't. it does the way abuse does.
She'd be ashamed of how grateful she was, of how she purred in front of him, of how she didn't even flinch when he ran his temple against her, but none of that matters, not if Featherpaw can eat.
like. god.
so uh. that's a thing.
i was talking on discord about how. tigerstar makes mistyfoot's treatment excruciatingly public for her. and part of his reasoning for this is that goldenflower rejected him. he's a fucked up man.
"reasoning" well it's not, he's not aware of this. but let us...
so there's a scene (before the last excerpt, but after "it's alright"), where it snows overnight. mistyfoot is in tigerstar's den (implied to be overnight), and so he says, "well! sucks to suck, you can't see featherpaw bc of all that snow." basically. and she...
"Please?" she asks, trying not to feel sick when she brushes her temple against his shoulder.
yeah. and he's like, "well, fine, but i'm going to make you walk through all of the snow that like comes up to your back because we are cats, even though you could walk straight across camp where the snow is packed down."
but the thing is, mistyfoot, just like goldenflower, chooses her kit over tigerstar, and he's pissed about that. he...well he's not thinking rationally here, but. this is kind of...so he's forcibly pushing featherpaw and mistyfoot into this isolated relationship where they have no one else, so that mistyfoot will do Anything for featherpaw. that's how he gets mistyfoot's obediance. we see this in one of the earlier scenes:
"Featherpaw isn't well, is she?" he asks. "Mudfur keeps trying to see her, but the guards don't let him in." His whiskers twitch, like this is all a game. "But you know, Mistyfoot. If you were good, if you'd just behave, I think I wouldn't have to worry so much about the guard. And you're always so good when it comes to Featherpaw."
where she's not doing what he wants, and he says this, and he does.
but tigerstar is not a person who loves. so i think he just. doesn't know that when mistyfoot would do anything for featherpaw, she would do anything for featherpaw. she would walk around camp while all of tigerclan watches and mocks her to see featherpaw and know that featherpaw is okay. without a second thought.
and that angers him. because she's not supposed to do that. she is supposed to do what he wants. because it benefits her by benefitting fetherpaw. so he just does not understand their relationship.
and so when mistyfoot chooses to leave him, just like goldenflower, his ability to play house with her is broken. and we get this:
Even with his permission, she is punished for leaving him. Tigerstar barely gives her half a day with Featherpaw before he drags her out again.
and this is another scene where we see that mistyfoot would do anything for featherpaw, because
(He leaves her in the snow until her paws go numb, and she watches as Darkstripe walks Featherpaw to the center of camp. She raises her head, trying to get her apprentice's attention, because even if she must look miserable — at least Featherpaw would know she was trying.
and mistyfoot spends a lot of her fic not acknowledging what's going on. she pretends that featherpaw doesn't know because. it's easier that way. but here, she's wiling to shatter that whole illusion just so that featherpaw knows mistyfoot hasn't abandoned her, that mistyfoot is trying to get back to her.
mistyfoot is in pretty terrible shape here, too. i chose not to state exactly how she's positioned in this scene, but. the intention is not just that the snow itself is cold, but that he's once again humiliating her.
tigerstar. buddy. you don't fucking get it.
mistyfoot doesn't care what you do to her. she will always be trying to get back to featherpaw. everything she does is for featherpaw, not for herself.
(which, aside, but this is not lost on featherpaw. she knows what mistyfoot does for her. some things she doesn't (notably, she's not aware that mistyfoot's demeanour is tied to featherpaw's access to medical care), but she's still deeply aware of this.)
so. anyway. tigerstar punishes mistyfoot for choosing featherpaw over him, and in the middle of that punishment, she once again chooses featherpaw over him.
(no wonder goldenflower didn't want to go with you dude.)
and so he punishes featherpaw, because that's what works. he does a lot of terrible things to mistyfoot, and all that happens is that she fights back. but when he hurts featherpaw, she concedes instantly.
he doesn't get it, he doesn't understand why it's like that, but he doesn't need to in order to manipulate her.
so after this, there's a lot of scenes. but just because you haven't read it, here's mistyfoot coming out and saying what i've just been explaining:
(She can't force herself to be willing be compliant be good and her consolation is that Tigerstar doesn't bring Featherpaw forward to be punished, that he digs his claws in her legs and his teeth in her scruff and it doesn't matter, not if Featherpaw is safe.)
and there's stuff, there's always stuff, but featherpaw's health goes into sharp decline, there's another defying tigerstar scene but it's for a different reason, and then we get to goldenflower moment.
so featherpaw sleeps On Top Of Mistyfoot, for reasons that aren't relevant. but there comes a point where blackfoot comes to bring mistyfoot to tigerstar, and featherpaw is asleep, and we get this moment of defiance:
Blackfoot comes for her when Featherpaw is still asleep. She needs every scrap of it she can get, and Mistyfoot waits until Blackfoot snaps at her for wasting time to rouse her.
but tigerstar finally gets what he wants, because when blackfoot forces the issue, mistyfoot leaves. and from his pov, mistyfoot doesn't even say goodbye to featherpaw.
(she does. it's not directly stated anywhere, but mistyfoot and featherpaw have some very strong nonverbal communication. this is the scene that sets it up, actually, where mistyfoot says goodbye without looking back.)
so from tiger's pov, he's finally gotten mistyfoot to choose him, and this is when
(He calls her Goldenflower, and even he seems surprised by the name.)
happens, and it's when tigerstar finally realizes what's going on.
<3
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This isn’t a post I really wanted to make, and I feel kind of shitty making it because parts of it aren’t my story to tell, but not talking about it isn’t working, so hey. Weirdly comforting internet void, please don’t reblog this.
There’s discussion of mental illness below, but not (directly) firsthand. This is mainly discussion of the impact mental illness is having on my family. Please avoid this post if this is a topic that is likely to cause you pain or discomfort. I think I just need to have it out there.
About a year ago, my brother was diagnosed with Bipolar I. His seeking out a diagnosis was the direct result of the way his mental health was horrifically mismanaged when he lived in the US in his late teens: he was misdiagnosed as schizophrenic and, a few months later, a pharmacy error cut him off anti-psychotics cold turkey. It was absolutely horrible, and he wound up leaving school and moving back in with my parents for a time just to recover. That diagnosis was still on file for him almost a decade later, but recently his job finally had decent enough benefits that he could afford to go in for a barrage of psychiatric testing to rule things out. Bipolar I wound up being the diagnosis that fit.
And I think, for him, there was a sense of relief that came from that initial diagnosis, because a lot of things started to fit. Our immediate family is very close and very loving, but also almost comically controlled and disciplined and logical and isolated. As a kid, he would frequently spiral over something small (I clearly remember being baffled by the fact that my teenage brother would still have full-on tantrums), and my parents and I would just be staring wide-eyed in silence because strong emotion??? what do????? He was comforted and loved, and outright tells us all the time that he loves us and feels really lucky to have had such a supportive family, but I can’t help feeling like we were just... overwhelmed by inertia and kept thinking “this is probably healthier and more normal than the way we repress our emotions”.
I suspected depression was always there, and I’d reached out to him a little about that based on my own experiences, but mania hadn’t even occurred to me, even when he was sending us e-mails at 5 AM about the new opera he stayed up all night writing. It’s incredible what starts to feel like normal when you’re in denial like that.
Regardless, that’s where we were last year: he called us up when I was visiting my parents and we chatted for about an hour about what we all knew about this illness and how he’d be going forward. We all assured him that we loved him a lot and were here for him in whatever way he needed us.
And then, in typical us fashion, we repressed it. My dad yelled at a server out of nowhere for bringing the wrong drink that afternoon; this is the most empathetic man I know, who’s raised his voice maybe three times in my life that I can remember (he called the server over afterwards to apologize and tipped hugely for having to put up with him). My mom’s anxiety spiked. I stopped sleeping well. It took us a few months to realize we were all struggling because we were so worried.
My brother tried a few different meds, none of which had a really strong impact. We all got together for the holidays, and when he arrived, he was furious in a way that felt familiar, like back in high school when he’d be so angry it was like he wasn’t fully in control of his body, wasn’t hearing the things he was saying. It was weirdly a bit of a relief, because I realized then how much he must have been putting on an act before: after high school, he’d always been extremely quiet and positive every single time I talked to him (always for short visits with big chunks in between). He was finally comfortable not being perfect around us.
The precipitating factor for this particular blow-up was one of his coworkers e-mailing him and asking for one more article even though he was on holidays: dick move, sure, but in no way deserving of flinging his luggage around and teary-voiced ranting at the restaurant we took him to for dinner. We made sure he knew he was being heard and understood, and we sympathized with him, and we set up an hour that evening so he could just sit quietly in his room and work out how he was going to reply to the e-mail. And then things were fine again. He told us stories about how great that same coworker was the next day.
My parents stayed at an airbnb, mainly because my place is a little small for four, and he and I stayed here and just had a wonderful time. I realized how much I’d built things up in my head in a worrying way: this was still my brother, who I love very much, who’s sensitive and feels things deeply and sometimes gets upset, but I knew how to talk to him and I hope I could help him feel better; he certainly helped me feel better. We watched old cartoons and played NBA on the Switch and got milkshakes and ordered in pad thai and had a fantastic time just chilling and talking about whatever crossed our minds. I never once felt nervous or weird around him in the three weeks we were here, and I very clearly remember thinking, “Hey, future self, remember how natural this felt next time you’re catastrophizing: this is one of the few people in the world you’d happily have as a roommate.” We get along so, so well, and some of the new initial tension between him and my parents (that awkward combination of “well-meaning” and “absolutely out of their depths” made for a couple of baffled moments before they hit their stride) just never bled through to our friendship.
It came out during that trip that he’d accrued some pretty hefty credit card debt (overspending being an extremely common thing when you’re in a manic phase... and also in your twenties living alone in a big city when a big chunk of your job involves socializing every night); my parents very calmly and supportively told him they’d help him pay it off on the condition that he cut up those cards and take a serious look at the gaps in his budget. He was more embarrassed than anything, but my mom’s no-nonsense, logical attitude broke through and soon they were happily sitting down and setting up a budget.
He went back home, and things started getting worse. His landlord was an asshole who wouldn’t let him and his roommate control the heating and insisted on controlling it from off-site, so he’d come home to a sweltering apartment every night and couldn’t sleep. He took a sleeping pill to help him get some rest, and that triggered a major depressive episode. Through a series of accidental events (mainly getting stuck on hold with a crisis line for 45 minutes and calling 911 out of desperation), he wound up getting picked up by the cops one night and brought to a mental hospital, which he said wasn’t his intention, but he was glad it happened in the long run (the hospital, not the cops, obvs).
He was only there for one night, after which point they set him up with a social worker and amazing outpatient care, including psychiatrist visits every week and a new set of mood stabilizing meds, and I cannot stress enough that this would have been a much shorter story if he’d lived in the US. With my parents’ help, he wrote a letter to his landlord threatening to go to the city if he didn’t fix the heating situation, and his landlord caved (thank goodness, because there’s no way he’d be able to pay rent anywhere else in that city). Things stabilized, a little.
Now, though, it looks like he may lose his job. He disclosed his illness right after the diagnosis, and after some initial missteps, they started putting in effort to work with him on it---in my brother’s e-mails to us, the HR person went from an obnoxious jerk to a determined ally, if only to avoid liability issues. But on his new meds, while he feels great in the mornings, he’s exhausted by the afternoon, and he often has minor depressive episodes in the evenings, so clearly the dose isn’t right yet. He’s up to missing a couple days of work a week, and they’re clearly trying to lean on him to switch to contract work so they can let him go without running afoul of legal protections. It doesn’t help that what started as a wide-open, exciting startup (he still says the first eight months were his dream job) has turned into an ad revenue-grabbing mechanism where all his colleagues are white homophobic tech bros who ignore him at best and resent his “special treatment” at worst.
A lot of his friends happened to move away around the time of his diagnosis as well, and now a lot of his remaining friends are distancing themselves. A common factor in his last few jobs toward the end was people telling him, “You just looked miserable all the time,” and it sounds like it’s starting to impact his personal relationships. His time online is spent in the deepest of “cancel culture” discussion, where being mostly good but fucking up once is almost more reprehensible than being wholly awful (he quit Facebook for a while, but wound up reopening his account to let people know about his hospitalization... and now he’s just back there again). He and his boyfriend broke up. His friend who initially suggested he apply for this job now ignores him at work.
It’s that awful combo of “people are being assholes about my illness” and “my illness makes it hard to believe that someone who initially reacts poorly will ever come around, so I’d better shove them away first”.
My parents are understandably so worried for him. They’re going out to visit him for three weeks starting tomorrow, staying at an airbnb nearby and occupying themselves with their own retirement pursuits so he can come visit if he likes, or ignore them if he needs space. They’ve told him that, if he’d like, he’s welcome to come stay with them for a few months (they live on the other side of the country); they’ll cover his half of the rent while he’s gone, and he’ll have a bit of an opportunity to just heal, considering he went straight back to work the day after his hospitalization. They’ll also help him strategize about whether he wants to switch to part-time on his current job and see about picking something else up. I suggested they bring up the possibility of going back for a master’s---I know it’s an absolute minefield for mental health, but in his particular case, a flexible schedule plus project-based creative work with specific deadlines has always been a pretty good fit, and he excels academically.
They’re also preparing for the possibility of moving him out to stay with them on a more permanent basis, but they obviously don’t want to disrupt his care (his current appointments are at the best mental health facilities in the country). They can’t afford to live in his city on their pension, but they’re also talking about giving up their retirement condo and buying out his roommate’s half of the rent, and just being there to help him out when he needs it. I don’t think he’d go for that unless things really deteriorated quickly, but a few months away from the city definitely sounds like what he needs.
And I’m just... so angry. I’m pissed off that so much of the stress weighing on him (and so many others!) right now comes from him being nearly 30, in debt, without a hint of a way to start saving for retirement, with these little one- or two-year gig jobs with two-hour commutes full of toxic people stretching out into eternity. I’m pissed off that this awful disease has made it so my parents probably aren’t in a place where they’re going to be able to do their big retirement trip, and they may be giving up their idyllic retired life for good. I’m angry with myself for that little burrowing resentment that, because my parents are older, I could wind up a financial, medical, and emotional caretaker for them and/or my brother at a moment’s notice, and I don’t feel ready to take all of that on. I’ll never feel ready.
(As a bonus, bipolar I has a genetic component, and now I’m thinking back to that one time I stayed up all night determined to save the world by learning all of biology in eight hours, or the time when as a grown-ass adult I started crying like a ten-year-old because I felt left out from an activity friends were doing, and I’m thinking, is this it? And then it’s not those extremes, it’s every normal human emotion that was previously muted by my own situational depression years ago. Is this it?)
I feel so, so entitled to the life we should have had as a family, and so frustrated at all these external factors that’ve brought it crashing down. More than anything, I’m scared for my little brother. I know bipolar isn’t something that magically disappears, and that things are likely to get worse, but I want those external stressors to go away and just leave him alone for half a minute so he can heal and find the right combination of meds and maybe, maybe get to think about thriving rather than just surviving. I’m so grateful to my parents for finding the right things to do and say to help him recover. And I know that, if something goes horribly wrong, I can try to fill those shoes.
I’m still losing sleep, but only every now and then. People at work occasionally comment that I don’t look so good, but that’s much rarer than a couple months ago, and the people I’ve confided in are very kind and check in on me even when things seem to be going well.
After the move this fall, I’m going to find someone to talk to professionally about this. In the meantime, just typing this all out makes me feel a bit better. I am finding better ways to cope; I had to mute him on social media because my overwhelming tendency to overthink his posts was very dangerous (turns out that famous self-deprecating millennial sense of humor is terrifying when you’re trying to work out if someone’s in danger). I have a generally positive attitude about this, and I can now usually catch myself when I’m starting to spiral. I send my brother goofy links, and he sends me funny stuff in return. I’m going for runs and eating better and playing video games and hanging out with friends...
... and I’m genuinely very happy a majority of the time (not just content, but happy), which wasn’t true even a couple months ago.
I’m scared and angry and coming to grips with it being okay to be both of those things, as long as I’m also supportive and loving. This is my little brother. This is my family. They’re the best.
And all we can do is take it one day at a time.
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#5 - now don’t hold back, how do you really feel about Nick? Haha... yeah, Max so far hasn’t been great, thinking back, there was only the one scene with Eden that was somewhat memorable for me. Nothing else really stood out. There is still time though, I’ll give them the benefit of the doubt. I don’t dislike him as much as you do, I think he’s served a purpose, provides really the only comfort June has in this world. Don’t think of him as June’s hero, but someone June uses to survive...
People like a ship on a show, I get that. This one is really the only logical one. When you are stuck together in this world, it’s only natural. Even when Luke is still in the picture technically. But I just don’t care... for me a happy ending for June is for her to be reunited with her daughters, and have Moira/Emily in her life (don’t think Janine makes it to Canada). Either Luke/Nick or both in her life is a nice little bonus, but not essential.
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LMAO. I keep all my Nick hate repressed in a little hard ball in my tummy (mostly cos I don’t care for fandom drama) but sometimes the wordvomit just spews when I feel safe on my blog haha. Everyone needs their release, right? LOL. I just sort of wish they’d cast a better actor. I probably would still have some of the same issues, but not to such a high level.
I agree. I think we’re talking about the same Nick/Eden scene? (I’m thinking the one at the pool where he’s trying to talk her out of doing the Dumb Teenage Thing she wants to do. (I love Eden sfm, ngl.) Is that the one you’re thinking of too?) I will admit, that is probably only the second time I have ever really enjoyed his acting or a scene with him. It’s the only time I’ve ever enjoyed a scene with him that doesn’t also have Serena in it. Cos, the other one I really liked was when he confronts Serena about June’s mental health. The tension there was so good. Again, he wasn’t on Yvonne’s level but it was a good enough scene writing and directing-wise that Yvonne could carry it easily and Max rose up a little to meet her. Almost. I’m biased, ofc.
Don’t get me wrong, I may be completely bored by the character/actor BUT I do recognise his integral purpose to June’s story, and appreciate that June does need/deserve/want comfort and only he can do that for her. He is (was, arguably, cos I personally think he’s served this purpose and it’s done) totally necessary to her survival, especially from a psychological standpoint. I just resist other people calling him a fucking hero. He’s not. June is. He’s her sidekick. He’s part of what makes her able to overcome certain circumstances, and lbr, without him, she’d probably be dead or in the Colonies cos Fred ain’t ever knocking her up. It’s more fandom’s obsession with treating him like the centre of the THT universe and everything about June revolves around him and it’s just disgusting to me to take a story about women, and especially a particular woman, and center it on a MAN.
((((Cos he’s cute, allegedly.))))
I never had a huge issue with it in the book, cos characters are made to play certain roles in assisting the protagonist. But I honestly have no understanding how anybody could read the book and go, “Hmm, this is good and all, but it’ll be so much more interesting to make it all about the guy, Nick.”
[Caveat... I am completely aware of how hypocritical I’m being, lol. I read the book and Serena was a somewhat interesting character but nowhere near as fascinating as she is on the show, lmao. At least, imo, she’s a woman, in a story that should be about women.]
Not to mention, Luke exists. And June still deeply loves him. Clearly. As soon as Nick even mentioned him, her mind went to him and Hannah. Whether I think they can work again (I don’t) outside Gilead, meh. Luke exists. Luke wants June back. June probably will attempt to make it work with him again as a family. Nick is not her “soulmate”, imo. I don’t want some epic romance bullshit for this show.
Now, in all fairness, Luke doesn’t exactly get a free pass from me either. I don’t really like the guy. (For different reasons. I think the actor is perfect actually for the role and does it very well.) I just find the character of Luke, sort of like a wet rag. Again, he’s another character that just sort of slides on by, not really caring and not taking the women’s concerns seriously (esp obvs in convos with Moira) and then just sulks a lot. Like, a lot. I get trauma gets handled differently by different people but Luke rubs me the wrong way. Even before Gilead. He seemed to have no issue being “the man of the house” and stepping into that patriarchal role. AGAIN, if we’re coming back to complaints about Serena not having any foresight, here’s another character that didn’t really care what was happening until it affected him personally. Now, that’s not to say criticisms of Serena for those reasons aren’t warranted; they totally are (She is at the far extreme end). But there are a whole host of characters who also gave no real shits about anyone else until they were personally affected by the system (Nick and June also fall on this spectrum, and arguably Nick is way down with Serena in terms of this, whereas Luke and June are not as bad, and June is certainly not as bad as Luke. Where was he at the protests? Hmm?). That’s sort of the whole point of the flashbacks about the rise of Gilead? We all sort of just go along with things, no matter how bad they are for others... until it personally affects us??? And often then, it’s too late to fix it. It’s the insidious rise of fascism in a nutshell.
People like a ship on a show, I get that. This one is really the only logical one. When you are stuck together in this world, it’s only natural.
Exactly! It is completely understandable and natural. And I enjoy seeing June regain parts of herself and find some pleasure and freedom through it. And you would latch onto anybody who can offer that. But Gilead, and especially June’s world, is a very, very small part of things and she has little access to anything else. Of course, a man being kind to her and protective of her and giving her good sex, hope, comfort, respect, affection, love, etc etc. is good. What else does the poor woman have? Fred? Serena? Rita? That’s her entire world. In that house. But what happens when that world expands?
And I do completely understand shipping them. It does make total sense. And I gotta say, shipping canon pairings is such a relief. (I rarely have that opportunity lmao but when I did, it was so NICE.)
Honestly, there isn’t much else to choose from in THT. It’s easy enough to keep shipping out of it but fandom is inherently shippy and full of straight fangirls, I think. It’s gonna happen. If AO3 is anything to go by, the majority (by an overwhelming amount) is June/Nick, with June/Serena second*, and June/Luke and June/Fred trailing those two. I get it.
(* I actually think this number would be higher if 2x10 had not happened the way it did. Specifically if it had not been Serena suggesting it (or at least had the lead up been better written). I saw a surge of interest after 2x08 especially but wham! 2x10, and then it’s just like, “HOW??? This is so wrong now, when it was only problematic before, now it’s like woah no way.”)
I agree about the happy ending. It’s June, free, with her daughters. Moira is absolutely essential to be in June’s life. I will not accept it otherwise. They are not allowed to kill Moira. She must be there. If it’s just June, Moira, Hannah, and Nicole, that’ll do.
Emily, eh. For me, I’m not that attached to the character and I want her healing more than anything, wherever that is. There’s another one who I’m not convinced would be able to just slide back into life with Sylvia and Oliver. (She had mentally given up on them way before she even was mutilated. it’s gonna be an incredibly hard road for her.) I want Emily alive and working towards being less traumatized. Minimum. I think she should have died way back, but since they’ve kept her alive this long and via such completely idiotic means, she has to stay alive now.
ITA about Janine, sadly. This may be sacrilege, but I’d rather her make it thru the series alive than Emily? I don’t dislike Emily by any means but I just enjoy Janine more. I find her more interesting. Eek. Is that bad?
I’d rather not have Nick around, simply cos it’s too much potential for stupid TV love triangle drama, and you know the showrunners won’t be able to resist playing on that. OR, going down the “June is pining for the love she left behind and that’s why it doesn’t work with Luke” route (BARF!). OR, alternately, presenting it as some super-cool post-monogamy hippie commune thing where people can just get on and there's no such thing as jealousy. Either way, I don’t want it. So I’d rather just knock out Nick in a blaze of glory, doing something incredibly brave and selfless for the CAUSE. Not just for June. I’m sick of his whole “for June only” shtick. Other women exist. Other women need your help too. I personally think it would perfect for him to die helping other women who specifically are not June nor connected to her. It would show some growth. If he dies for June specifically, I don’t think that shows any growth whatsoever. I’d argue that him dying For June just proves he’s not learnt anything, because it’s still just about what he wants and how things affect him.
But hey, I don’t think they will kill off Nick at all. He’s too much of a fan fav. I would like them too, but I don’t get what I want on TV. And probably only 7 people would watch the show I’d write, lol.
#long post#please don't have this post show up in searches or tags#and i'm tired of using asterisks lol#i don't want fangirls on my case lol#(i have no issue defending myself but i'd just rather not have to bother lmao)#Anonymous
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Can anyone recomend some cheap insurance companies for drives who have completed pass plus?
"Can anyone recomend some cheap insurance companies for drives who have completed pass plus?
I'm 18, soon to be 19, and have been trying to get a quote on a 1998 vauxhall corsa, and the only 1 i got before was ridiculously high. I know it being an older model is going to make a difference, but does anyone know from personal experience or whatever which insurance companies offer decent insurance prices to young drives, who have completed the pass plus scheme? Thanks, much appreciated!
BEST ANSWER: Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://freecarinsurance.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr
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I received a speeding ticket (42 in a 25-mile/hour non-school zone; 4 points according to the D.C. DMV website) a week ago. I'm licensed in Virginia. I assume D.C. will notify the Virginia DMV and will trasfer the four negative points to my driving record. I haven't had a ticket since 2003 and currently have five positive points on my record. It is the maximum number of positive points allowed in Virginia. QUESTION 1: Will my State Farm insurance policy go up? Even if not, I will take a safe driver course to offset the four negative points. QUESTION 2: Do I want to wait until the four negative points post on my driving record before I take the course? Thank you in advance for taking the time to reply.""
I need a list of car insurance companies in the usa?
I need a list of all (or as many as possible) car insurance companies in the united states. I need the names and phone numbers and more info on them if possible. Thanks !
How much would my little sister's car insurance be?
Can anybody give me an estimate of what insurance on a Chevy Cavalier would be for an 18 year old girl who lives in Colorado? My little sis is in a tight spot cuz my parents aren't helping her with paying for a car or insurance, but she's saved up enough to buy a car and just got a job, and is asking me to help her with insurance which I'm going to try to do, thus the question above. The problem is awhile back she got a ticket for I think it was either wreckless driving or careless driving. She's matured a lot now and all but I know the insurance companies look into things like that. Please help me with an estimate if you can. Thanks.""
Health insurance premium just went up because i turned 60.?
Anyone know where I can get my own health insurance rather than through my employer?
Most reliable auto insurance company?
How much would my monthly premium be for auto insurance? I'm male and 18, no accidents and responsible. I drive an old sedan, silver. I drive to work, to college, to the market and back home. No joy rides, no trips or visits. What auto insurance company is the best?""
What is best single Premium Insurance Policy?
My father looking Good Return Single Priemium Insurance Policy and father age is 58.Please help me.
Insurance help for teenagers?
I just got my license today and my parents were wondering if i still had insurance coverage or not? We have Grange insurance idk if that makes a difference or not. Help please!=]
What do car insurance companies use to determine car value?
I just bought a 2008 used car. I bought GAP insurance (pays the difference between what the car is worth and the amount of the loan if the car is totaled) for $600. I have 30 days to cancel the insurance for a full refund (to my finance company). Do insurance companies use Kelly Blue Book retail value, private sale or trade-in value to determine the value they will pay for a totaled car? If they use retail or private sale, I can cancel and be okay if I get totaled, but if it is trade in, I will be $3000 in the hole with no car.""
How much do you reacon my car insurance will be?
I am currently taking driving lessons but in a few months I will be taking my driving test. If I pass my test my mum is giving me her car which is a 1.3 litre Toyota Yaris, I will have to pay for the insurance so I was just wondering how much it would be?""
Insurance needed to instruct/run archery?
Hi, If I want to run an archery activity for a school at an outdoor adventurous activity site, what insurance do I need? Cheers""
A question about insurance on a car?
ok i live in england, and i am 27yrs old, i drive and have my own insurance which is fully comp, as i am over 26 i can drive any car third party, my boyfriend is just starting to learn to drive and since neither of his parents drive, hes going to have to get his own car with his own insurance on, which is obviously going to be quite high as hes a new driver, hes 20yrs old. we got told that if he put me on his insurance as a second driver then it would work out a bit cheaper for him, but im wondering if this is true, as i can drive his car anyway on my insurance, so im not sure if its legal to go on his or if they will let me. any advice would be appreciated.""
Need affordable heath insurance in NJ?
I'm trying to find a health insurance plan for me and my fiance. I currently do not have health insurance but I am on Birth Control for cyst prevention and it runs 90$ a month. My fiance will be expunged from his parent's plan in October when we are married. I am a nanny and he is a personal trainer and tennis instructor, both jobs do not offer plans since he is not considered fulltime. I went to ehealthinsurance.com for a quote and the lowest is 375 with a steep deductible and limited coverage. We are also both fulltime college students so we are not able to pay much along with our other living expenses. Does anyone know of anyway of getting low cost insurance? I looked into family care etc, but unless I'm pregnant or have children, I wont be covered. I'm at a catch 22....we really want kids but not without being stable first...so either I pay for birth control or health insurance for prenatal and maternity (ha ha ha) I'm getting a bit frustrated here...Will definitely chose a best answer and thanks for reading this :)""
Car insurance?
my husband has just been sent a letter saying he has been done for doing 38 in a 30mph limit and has encured 60 fine and 3 penalty points. what is the situation regarding his car insurance . does he have to inform them about it? i think he should but my sister says you dont have to.
Insurance for a 17 yr old with Lamborghini(took drivers ed & have good grades)?
me and my sister got a lot of money when my grandpa passed away, he gave it to me and her mainly and then some to my mom and aunt and i wanna get a lamborghini with it but my mom will not change her mind saying that no one would ever insure me for that. moneys not really that much of a problem for it but would no one really insure me? i have enough to pay for it myself and i took drivers ed and have good grades in school how much will that knock off of it if so? thx""
What are the recommended coverage i should have for auto insurance?
i don't know anything about auto insurance, so im trying to figured out what i should include in my policy, not just standard, but recommended coverage, so that if anything happen the insurance company can't say this or that doesn't covered...im a person that rather be safe than sorry later... so far i have statefarm in Florida, and here are my coverage and limit so far: liability bodily injury 10/20, property damage 25 per accident. no-fault coverage comprehensive collision uninsured motorist bodily injury 10/20 is there anything else i need to add or missing? is there different between the personal injury protection and no-fault coverage? is my limit enough? my friend has 50/100 limit and pays much lower premium than me (about 40% less).""
Getting Car Insurance?
I'm getting married and because I'm moving to another state I'm having to switch from one insurance for my car to another. My question is this, how much up front money will it cost to get insurance for me and my wife? For example, will they need a deposit, or expect a certain number of months up front? Also if anyone could refer me to a good insurance company, I live in Alabama near Birmingham I 'm considering either state farm or alfa. Thanks!""
If i change my car insurance will my lien holder be notified?
I want to change to a different insurance company and have a an auto loan through my bank so my question is if i change will my bank be notified? I know it is wrong but for a few months i only had liability and if they are notified they can take my car if they see i didnt have full coverage right? I want cheaper insurance but dont want to get in trouble!
""On buying a new car, should I get insurance for it immedliately?""
I am buying a new car in a day or so. Am I legally required to get insurance before I take it out of the dealership? I heard that dealer should keep insurance for 1 month. Is that true? If it is true, what is covered - just the car? Driver? Passengers? New-car buyer in Texas""
How do auto insurance deductibles work?
How do deductibles work in at fault and not at fault accidents?
Who are affordable auto insurance carriers in southern california?
Who are affordable auto insurance carriers in southern california?
Need help with car insurance?
Needing full coverage auto insurance and I'm looking for the cheapest route, any suggestions on who to go with?""
Will my insurance go up alot?
so the other day I was driving on freeway and slid out and went through a barbed wire fence on the side of the freeway. The cop said he had to do an accident report cuz its a state fence.And that they would send a letter to my house and possibly my insurance company. And the fence was fixed the next day. So do you think they will send a letter to my insurance? Will they charge me for the fence? Will my insurance raise alot? I'm 16 btw and liability only on my insurance.
Can anyone recomend some cheap insurance companies for drives who have completed pass plus?
I'm 18, soon to be 19, and have been trying to get a quote on a 1998 vauxhall corsa, and the only 1 i got before was ridiculously high. I know it being an older model is going to make a difference, but does anyone know from personal experience or whatever which insurance companies offer decent insurance prices to young drives, who have completed the pass plus scheme? Thanks, much appreciated!
https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/stoughton-wisconsin-cheap-car-insurance-quotes-zip-53589-rodriquez/"
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