#obsessed with this ask the idea of its playing in my head rent free

[jeonbunnie]

just finished crying my eyes out to love is gone & why do i lowkey want oc to have a major glow up, run into jungkook months later & him realizing he made the biggest mistake of his life like i want him to grovel so bad for her just so he feels a little bit of what she felt … omg 😭

I can totally see it 😌

He runs into you six months later, and the realization hits him like a truck. He fucked up.

You're out with your friends sitting at the bar, looking hot as fuck in tight little number he'd love to peel off you if your were still his. But you're not. And the only person he has to blame for that is him.

And maybe he's had a few drinks, but all he can think about is how pretty you look. Your skin is glowing, and your smile is brighter than he's ever seen, radiant like the sun. Suddenly, it hits him that this smile is not for him. That you'd smile might never be his again, and he's desperate.

He'd do anything to have that kind of sunshine in his life again.

“(Y/n)?”

It's not even a choice to call your name. It just happens. And yeah, maybe he's a little drunk, and if he were sober, he'd have the decency to leave you alone, but he just can't.

One minute, you're locking eyes; the next, he's chasing after you in the crowd, asking you to wait, to just hear me out.

You don't stop for even a second. It's not until you're out of the club and halfway down the street that Jeongguk even manages to catch your jacket and bring you to a pause.

“(Y/n), please. Just wait—"

"What? What do you want, Jeongguk? What could you possibly want with me now?"

Jeongguk wants so much he doesn't know where to start. He tried to apologize, to tell you it was a mistake. He was so, so stupid to think he could ever live without you.

It's been a couple of months since Jeongguk left your bed and walked out of your life. The moment he left your side, he regretted it. And with every step he took away from you, the feeling of dread only got stronger.

He tried to brush it off, tried to reason it out. Things were still fresh; of course, he'd still feel an emotional connection to you. It would pass. Right?

Except it didn't. That empty, hollow, missing feeling didn't go away.

Not when he moved out. Not when he got his own empty, lonely apartment. Not even when Jeongguk tried dating again. Because no one he dated could compare to you.

That ache for you stayed. Always.

He wanted to tell you all of this, but he can't tell by the look on your face that he only has a couple of minutes—hell—seconds before you turn around and leave him behind. This time for good.

So Jeon Jeongguk kneeled, his knees pressing into the hard concrete beneath him. It was gravelly, and he could feel wet spots sink into his jeans from when it rained outside earlier, but he couldn't find it in himself to care about the mess.

All he cared about was you.

Jeongguk begs. "Please. Please give me another chance."

"What? You broke up with me, remember?" You moved to pull away, but Jeongguk held your hand, anything to keep you near.

"It was a mistake. Ending us was a mistake."

"Jeongguk… you're drunk. You won't even mean this in the morning."

"I mean it! I mean it."

I regret it every day." Jeongguk leaned forward, nuzzling his cheek against your thighs. Maybe it's a little pathetic, but he can't help himself; he needs to be close to you in any way he can. "Can't we just start over?"

"Jeongguk…"

Jeongguk looked up at you then, his nose red and his lashes wet with tears. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

He means it; he really does. Jeongguks hasn't been more sorry about anything in his life.

"If you give me another chance, I won't ever let you go again. Say yes. Please?"

Please, please, please?

[gremlingottoosilly]

Just a Brotherhood!Konig Thot👀. Knight!Konig loves in my head rent free🥰

Imagine with me- Knight!Konig who has a cute little scribe who's so eager to please her Lord Knight that she'd do just about anything he asked of her-even if that meant walking into a cave full of radiation, she'd do it for him! Tiny Scribe!reader who doesn't mind lugging around that massive backpack of supplies, honest My Lord it's nothing!

I can totally imagine Knight! Konig being so full of himself, especially after Scribe!reader proves their undying loyalty? Oh yeah, big ego boost for this giant anxious man 😊😏. Eventually I imagine a romance that is bordering obsession on both their parts😅😂.

In the game, Paladins of the Brotherhood usually got a whole team of different scribes and helpers since Wsteland is not a joke. Imagine being one of many - a bit of a tech nerd, always eager to get yet another toster for the glory of the brotherhood. Scribing your sully techs on the silly notepad you snatched from an abandoned building. Konig cals you a radracoon, stealing everything that comes your way. Konig says it's a given, since you're from the Wastelands - Brotherhood picked you up like a lost puppy on the way from a bloody mission. Konig wasn't a paladin yet, only a handful of years older than you - but you're with him now. Young and naive, eager to please. Konig wonders what you would do if he asked you to suck his cock. Would probably get on your knees like a good girl. Maybe you'd oil his armor too. Maybe you'd like to fuck him while he is still halfway in the armor. A testament to his strength. Brotherhood is all about breeding numbers from the top, so you know Konig will have to have children some day. He has no idea what courting is - you don't know either - so he just brings you extra lunch. Some pieces of less radiated meals. Smashes a cake stand with his power fist and gets you a desert with only moderate amount of mold. Gets hard at the sight of your shining bright eyes and has to curse under his breath - armor wasn't built for the wearers to have huge boners because their servants are too fucking adorable.

Konig knows he deserves someone stronger - he has other people, actually, tending to his needs and watching his back. Team is a small task force, with a few knights always stationed nearby - Brotherhood doesn't want to love its glorified paladin toy. You're here for the stress relief, like a shining puppy of justice and poor life decisions. You idolize Konig - not the Brotherhood. It's a mistake, a huge one. A fucking liability. Konig smiles and squeezes your cheeks. Plays with your hair. Metal hand tangling in the dirty strands. You are taking care of his supplies, of his food, of cleaning his armor. When he comes to you at night, allowing you to take the first shift, you aren't even surprised when he points at his cock. Aching and ready to burst - your hands aren't soft when they slip around it, trying to understand how to make them feel better, but Konig appreciates the pain. Gets a hand in your hair, still giant even out of armor. Tells you to be rougher, not to treat him like a little bitch. You obey, as tender as you are. Maybe fascinated a little. Brotherhood doesn't do marriages, but Konig already knows who he will choose to breed with.

[digenerate-trash]

More head cannons that I have but for non-love interests. mostly teachers and Bailey and Harper. 

Bailey used to be a normal person who cared if the orphans got hurt but over time in order to keep the younger kids safe from the town he needed to start charging the older ones rent to keep this rinky-dink shack above water eventually it became too much for him to care about every victim he sent out onto the street to make rent so he stopped. Either by dissociation or worse. now he's just a heartless asshole who protects only the kids in the youth ward and even that is hard for him to do. The road to hell is paved with good intentions after all. 

Harper is afraid of blood. Straight up. He’ll faint if he catches sight of it that's why he prefers needles and brainwashing no blood is involved if you do it right. He's giving some real “I never got my doctorate” energy and I don't think this town cares because he's the best they have. He's definitely jacked off over an unaware patient. Has a kink for making patients cum hands-free (it's a power thing). Almost agreed to work for Remmy for free because he got too excited about brainwashing people into mindless cow hybrids. moral compass? Whos she? 

Leighton is such a fucking freak of nature. Would not be surprised if he went from teacher’s aid to head teacher solely through blackmail and other underhanded means this dud has always been a straight-up freak. Like Kylar but instead of being obsessed with one person, his passion is corrupting innocent people and once he's done and he's gotten off it's off to the next unsuspecting victim. This dude probably doesn’t know how to use a modern cellphone though so thank god for that. 

Sirris. Mommy? sorry. Mommy? sorry. I mean Mommy? Sorry. For real though giving milf energy. Probably really loved her dead husband to the point where she's not getting married again. (which is the real crime) but deeply cares for her kid, and even though she has no idea the extent of  Leighton’s abuse she has threatened to kill him and go to church the next day if he even breathes near her kid. Owns a sex shop purely to exploit this town's obvious sex addiction issue and is probably saving for Sydney's future as well. The only good parent I’ve seen in this game.  

River is a virgin for life. my man has never seen a pussy and is physically afraid of it. (same goes for cock but a little bit less so) has an avid believer of the church's teachings and he has a kind of friendship with Sydney but refuses to give them any special treatment because it wouldn't be fair (although Sydney is his favorite). Prob wear’s a chastity belt since he was 18 and has absolutely refused to take it off its like a security blanket now. No one is getting their filthy hands on this dick.

Doren is one of those freaks who has crushes on his students and sees nothing wrong with it, he cares about them and wants the best for his students but the power dynamic is hard to ignore for his students and even though he wants to be kind and a friend to all of them most students will avoid getting too friendly with him. He does his best to protect the students he likes best giving them snacks at lunch being extra patient with them during lessons helping them out or bumping up their grades just because they asked but if you’re a nuisance he lets you fall by the wayside because his love and care are conditional. 

Winter is heavy into costumes and BDSM but that's not a surprise super into weird sexual history and also has a huge denial/edging kink. Surprisingly the teacher she gets along best with is River. They hang out in the teacher's lounge and bitch about students. Leighton has absolutely harassed her for information on her students like which ones squirm during her unorthodox lessons but she refuses to play into his antics. When she's working at the museum she is the most content. It's her real passion but it doesn't pay the bills. Probably got hired because Leighton thought she would be an easy mark but it turns out she's a total dom and now he's afraid to fire her. 

Mason is the guy Dorent wishes he was. Students are always trying to feel him up during lesions and asking if he's single. But he really just wants to be left alone. At one point he was good enough to be on a national swim team but for one reason or another, his life fell apart and now he's burnt out and living in the worst town in Britain at the ripe age of 25. The dude probably wouldn't hurt a fly unless he had to and even then he would be crying for a week afterward. Bottom energy.

[leynaeithnea]

Me ? Taking notes again to write this ask? You guessed it.

The ocean saga is 100% my favourite saga so I'm going to be insane about this actually.

12.Aeolus is literally perfect I'm obsessed with her and her little banter with Ody " let's play a game/ a game? / That's what I'm serving " YES MA'AM YOU ARE CERTAINLY SERVING. Again at this point we agree on everything because the part where Odysseus tries to stay awake has kept me awake for days , he is so pathetic he's hallucinating his family and he loves them so much and everything has changed BUT HE'S THE SAME YES HE'S THE SAAAME ( instant tears)

" They were within sight, his mom could have seen the ship" fatal blow , currently chocking on my blood and my tears.

Also yes , Poseidon's voice is majestic, after ruthlessness came out I was singing it so much my brother and sister had memorized it ( they don't even know English lol )

13.The chorus of po-sei-don is glorious and I sing it every single time very drammatically 'cause HOW COULD I NOT??? Again, agree with everything you said, this whole entire song makes me feral, Poseidon is so bitchy and mean and pissed and sarcastic I ADORE IT and whenever I sing it I make Ody's little "No" so defeated and terrified and "we're so fucked " because they so areeeee

You are the worst kind of good- moment lives in my mind rent free I also did some lettering for it because I HAD to get it out of my head somehow ( I failed , it's stuck on repeat in my brain )

" But noOoOo" is so iconic I can't put it into words I love Poseidon jansnsnns

First time I listened to ruthlessness the callback to just a man brought me to my knees Jorge is a criminal how does he get away with causing such pain to me specifically ??? We'll never know

Aaaand the callback to the convo with Polyphemus " I am your darkest moment " FLOORS ME EVERY TIME SIR WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOUR ACTIONS HAVE CONSEQUENCES THAT HAUNT YOU IN THE FORM OF THE GOD OF THE SEA , WHAT DO YOU MEAN MERCY HAS A PRICE ( this whole thing about "you could have avoided all this had you just killed my son" brings me back to hours spent studying the Iliad for school and learning that in those books the idea was that you had to die a glorious death if you wanted to be remembered and live forever with honor in the stories that will be told about you. Being spared in combat and living after that is not living at all, becase you're now a disgrace and everyone will know you failed to be a hero ) ( but I don't know if this whole "moral code" applies to monsters like Polyphemus) ( living with the shame that some random puny Greeks overtook you must generally suck either way though)

also the part where Ody's desperately bargaining "Poseidon we meant to harm we only hurt him to disarm him PLEASE PLEASE UNDERSTAND please we took no pleasure in his pain we are at your mercy right now we can't do anything this is all up to you I can't do anything else for my crew other than try to make you understand we only wanted to escape PLEASE we are in your domain now we can't escape the literal sea PLEASE SHOW US THE MERCY WE SHOWED YOUR SON" and this whole part is quieter and gentler than the rest of the song,it's a plea, a small little desperate string of hope that maybe he'll understand, then a beat of silence and then DIE YOU'RE NAIVE AND HOPELESS DIE AKKSKDJSNNS

I may have gone a little insane with this one lol

As always no pressure but I eagerly await your take on the other sagas :))

( love for you and your friend that you acted out the whole musical , it seems neat and I think it would fix me hahah )

HEYO man theres one artwork of "im the same yes im the same" that im obssessed with, its sooo good

the idea was that you had to die a glorious death if you wanted to be remembered

All the men who died drowning + elpenor ------- :) :) :) yw

Despite it being an unpopular opinion Circe might actually be my least favorite saga so far,....probably because they werent as angsty as any of the other so far......i think theres a pattern here....anyway, its still GREAT so lets start 14. Puppeteer ODY REFUSING TO LISTEN TO EURY, I WONDER??? maybe he guesses???? MAYBE HE KNOWS? that it was Eury who opened the bag but he isn't ready to hear it yet???? the instrumentals in that is soo good tho, ALSO "a woman" "....what"

circes voice do be beautiful

and the storytelling of eury recalling the story while circes part is kind of a flashback like, is reallyyy nice

Also Ody being straight up ready to save his men help, that's only 8 songs or so before Syclla :")

15. Wouldn't you like

I knowwww why people are so hype about it, but admittedly it doesn't hit that hard for me. it's a good song! just not my favorites

but "someone who's not afraid to...send a message" is a sneaky way to make it obv who it is, very "high on shrooms" feels, and Odysseus singing the "OooooOoooOOOooOooH"s towards the end are reallyyy goodddd and the "dont thank me you very well may die"....perfect characterization of hermes, loved 16. Done For

Ody trying to sneak his way in like "did you do smth to them?" (knows 100% that she did) "you turned them into pigs" ODY YOURE SUCH A SLEEK---- SO OKAY WE ACTED THIS OUT RIGHT? WITH MY FRIEND? HAVING MY FRIEND BE CIRCE PLS??? OMG ....attractive mayhaps ody trying to lie about being a god "hermes gave it do you, didnt he?" ".....fine, yes, but- " ODY SIEGSE ~love lying characters, like, Neil, Ody, yeah...yeah Also circe going right into lust and Ody being like "??? wdym" (think sabout penelope) 17. There are other ways "BUuT itS been 12 LonG yeEArs" JORGE JORGE__--SLEGOSEJG lmaoosegseigjseg jk beautiful falcetto (high voice) of Jorge very seductive song, beautiful the reprise of just a man again.....but he refuses! good on you ody, bc otherwise you wouldve been dead, also THE DROP when Circe talks about the Underworld, esp with the distorted choir so cool, theres some animatics that portrayed those really neat too, might ramble about the animatics some other time also Circes last note(s) in the song are SO GOOODDDDD such vocal control

[lunathequeerscientist]

when you get this ask you have to answer with 5 of ur fav songs and then send this ask to 10 of ur favourite followers :) (no pressure <3)

Ooooooooooh YES an opportunity to open THE ABSOLUTE FLOODGATES of my music preferences! Hmmmmhmhmm heheheheee *rubs hands together maliciously

Okay, so:

1.

AAEERREEEEREEEEEREEE YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH I LOVE SHELTER (by Porter Robinson & Madeon)

(I’m so sorry I don’t know who this picture’s original artist is, I just found it on google, who ever it was, you are AMAZING ✨)

THE MUSIC VIDEO is just BY GOSH SO GOOD! It’s literally better than most movies I’ve watched. The story, the art, the colours… and the story! DID I MENTION THE STORY!!! AEIIIAJDJFNSNJ okay I won’t spoil it but I’ll have to literally bite my nails clean off gooo shoooo before I explodeeeee… oh… Oh… HERE IT COMES TAKE COV-

2.

Anyways, moving on

My next favourite… ooooh see this ones interesting because there are a bunch of songs here, it’s kind of like, you know when you have multiple favourites and you can’t really choose except I already have a favourite but that’s only because that favourite is relatively more favourite than my other favourites thanks to it’s possession of a feature or features that favourites it out of my other favourites… ish? Yeah? Yeah… ? *hopeful stare

Oki let me try again: i likey many song :D

This spot gets awarded tooooo.... a nightcore remix of Wake me up when September ends, uploaded by Syrex (unfortunately I cant seem to find the original video I usually listen to, the cover art on this is sliiiiightly too graphic for my liking (dw its not explicit or anything) but the original was perfect!)

This was one of my first nightcore songs, and something about it just felt so… magical 🌈 and 🌟mystical🌟… like a sort of window into another dimension? I still come back to it as my comfort song, kind of like a sonical blorbo…. A blorbo song? A slorbo? Yeeeaaah!

In a similar position but possibly not to the same extent are other nightcore remix songs like Drivers License (also uploaded by Syrex) and Fly me to the moon(also Syrex) and some others

3.

Now I do indeed enjoy a spot of classical music (mainly rather popular songs though) and what else do I say than frikin Tchaikovsky’s Piano Concerto No. 1.

Oh ajsjdbdk do I love Tchaikovsky! “Canons are not instruments!” Tchaikovsky: *slow evil grin* “Your gonna love this” *starts 1812 Overture -need I say more

✨Tchaikovsky brain rot Tchaikovsky brain rot Tchaikovsky brain rot Tchaikovsky brain rot Tchaikovsky brain rot Tchaikovsky brain rot Tchaikov✨

Okay I lied actually I do enjoy more than a spot of it, I listen to it classical music sometimes obsessively, all the way from grand masterpieces while looking through my homework as a cunning super villain surveys their chaos to frilly piano pieces. Oooh speaking of, Un Sospiro by Franz Liszt, that is by far one of my favourite piano pieces… maybe close to Piano Conerto no 1 in terms of favouriteness? Maybeeee?

4.

I do also love some pop and dancey and songs. I think One Last Time by Ariana Grande definitely sticks on this list and is one of my all time favourites. The music video is amazing too! There also others like Solo Dance by Martin Jensen, Style by Taylor Swift (oooh another of my favourite artists btw) Don’t lose my number by Phil Collins and Heaven (DJ Sammy and Yanou)

5.

I (mostly) love my YouTube recommendations, and most of the time its cute (and very VERY impressive) animatics galore, and some of the music I’ve heard on them just sticks with me and lives rent free in my head. The one on this list has to be Sincerely, Me (from this animatic). Now I don’t know much about the song out of the context of this animatic, however rumour has it that it is rather twisted (again, I have actually no idea where it’s from, I never followed it up) but it’s so insanely catchy I find myself head-playing it on repeat and listen to it to scratch that very specific itch… the animation is absolutely 🌟amazing🌟 too in that video, and I keep coming back! Also I’d like to show you Think U Know by Ikson, found in this animatic by none other than cudlil :P I love her channel, and all the music she uses!

So there you go! Now I know it may seem a bit like a genre rank, but I assure you it’s not. It’s not, it’s not not ntotntotntotn noooooo

It’s just that I sort of categorise songs by the way they make me feel, and most of the time the ones listed from 2-5 can be interchanged (meaning I like them all equally)

Oooh oooh! And ofcourse, Thank you so much for the ask! 🌈🌟

[jeanmoreaux]

Hi, I just wanted to stop by and thank you because some of your posts made me listen to hozier and now I am in love. So thank you very much<3 (this is slightly random but have you ever read something that gave you ~hozier vibes~ I feel like a (poetry) book from him would solve all my problems, but alas I have to chase books by others that might have a similar vibe) ((also: I might go see him on his european tour with the girl I have a crush on!))

you have no idea how happy this ask made me. i am so so happy i had a hand in you discovering one of my personal favourite artists. if i accomplish nothing else in life, at least i did introduce you to hozier! i’ll attend one of his european shows too and i am beyond excited (not with a date tho 😭)!!! so happy you might go to one of his shows with your crush!! i’m SO JEALOUS like that’s the ideal date night idea!!!! did you get tickets yet?

you’re definitely not the only one desperate for a book/poetry collection by him, jo and i have been unsuccessfully manifesting it for AGES. as for book/poetry recs…. it’s quite hard tbh. i don’t think i have read anything that captures the exact same vibe. mary oliver does have poetry that really plays into the nature symbolism and a lot of anne carson’s stuff does have that desperate/consuming/toxic love element (e.g. her verse novel autobiography of red). i also think ocean vuong’s poetry is bursting with emotions, and his novel on earth we’re briefly gorgeous is a lyrical masterpiece (it deals more with the immigrant experience in america and family dynamics though). deathless by catherynne m. valente is beautifully written and does echo some darker notions of love in its story (it’s very much about the vibes). this is how you lose the time war is also very lyrical with a touching love story that reaches through space and time. i just reread it and it was even better on a reread. ((if you’re into (mature) YA with whimsical writing/nature theme/magical elements/people obsessing over each other i can recommend you maggie stiefvater’s the raven cycle series. it lives in my head rent-free.)) but yeah all these are just approximations of some aspects of hozier’s music/songwriting….

that’s everything i could think of just now, but if anyone has other recs or associations to add pls be my guest!!!

[i-like-yoongi-a-latte]

The year is coming to its end so it's time for my silly little love letter post 💕 I hope this year has been good for you, or if it wasn't, I'm sending hugs bc same, but hey we made it through! I hope next year brings you kindness, good energy, rest and overall happiness 🥰

Happy New Year lovelies!!

These are not in any order, you're all very important to my tumblr experience <3

♥ @taetaestykookie Marrissa my new bestie to yell about BTS with!!! I love following your bias crisis and making your friends/family members become fans! Even though you live far away and timezones suck I'm so happy to be able to randomly send you stuff in like three different apps all about the same thing... I wish cute Tata/Cooky stuff finds their way to you! Thank you for being my friend, I appreciate you 💝

♥ @washyourdamnhands Kinga, the person who's like a warm comforting hug! Always sending me nice videos and making me smile, I adore you 💕

♥ @asgh0sts Danny, I loooove seeing Exo on my dash and that's because of you, also seeing old Shinee photos makes me cry (but in a good way you know). You also gave me good advice once and I felt so happy!! I've also been thinking about Valentine's Day cards already, and I've been meaning to ask you if you want to receive one from me, so let's say this acts like a question for you and a reminder for me hehe. Thank you for being my friend!! 🧡

♥ @danhalen A person who makes me smile, Reny! The thought of you makes me warm and giggly, I really love to send cards to you (I hope the card that's on its way comes home to you safely!!) and I really appreciate you for being my friend!! 💘

♥ @sepastian-ahoey the Sepe to my Teukka, or should I say a demon for making me get new interests.......... I'm feeling like I'll be following the F1 more next year... We also have a Max document date already planned so I'm waiting for that!!! Thank you for being my friend and tolerating all the rants about kpop that you don't know anything about but still kinda do, I promise to listen to your rants in the future too 💞

♥ @firefighter-diaz oh the broken blorbos.... The reason why I listened to Taylor's new album is this person right here!!!! Also I adore you, sending me postcards from cool places and all 🥺 also helping me with my silly questions and making me feel happier and also making me feel like my jokes are funny! remember hun, coaches don't play!! and!!! I will always listen if you have something on your mind ❣️

♥ @chanstopher Dreamy!! The reason I became even more obsessed with Chris's nose!!! As a nose enthusiast™ this was very nice. I could probably write essays about your talents, but like even if we don't talk much here, I really really really appreciate you. You're so kind and lovely, your art is amazing, you make gifs super fast and they're so pretty every time, and when you show the original coloring vs yours I'm always like h o w. Also I'm still giggling about your kind comment to my Leebit <3333 annnd I love to read your little posts about Chan's room when I can't watch it myself! and I also remember saying I'd show you my paintings but I haven't painted - I drew a horse though - but I'll try to remember it when I paint hehe. I wish all the best for you, may Chris bless us you with cute selfies that show his adorable nose 🥰

♥ @ambivartence Siyuan, the lovely person with who I can have fun ask game answers with! How do I even start. Every time I see your art I smile along the wiggly lines, I try to find little hearts and when I do I feel so warm!! Your art is so warm, I can't explain. Also your Seonghwa and Hongjoong live rent-free in my head, and it's also one reason I should get into Ateez more! You're so kind and lovely and I love to read your tags on posts!! I adore you 💝

♥ next I wanna say thanks to the gc, @fangirlinglikealoon & @heiskasmiro, you make me smile so much you have no idea!! No matter what app we're using to communicate, it always feels so nice to see your names appear in my notifications! I appreciate you so much, just know that 💘💘

annnnd here are some other lovely people that make me smile just by seeing their urls <33

♥ @reedskz ♥ @suklaakuppikakku ♥ @trashkingdom ♥ @joel-farabee ♥ @juhollamago ♥ @diazactually ♥ @yjbg ♥ @finnishhockeyelf ♥ @lily-blue-blue-lily ♥ @bortuzzzzin ♥ @thewestishharpooners ♥ @thosedaysthatwill ♥

[discet]

Since we're bringing up potential cartoon crossovers, how about if the Calamity trio ended up in the Avatar The Last Airbender world, maybe Anne with Aang, Sokka, and Katarra, Sasha with Zuko and Iroh, and Marcy with Suki and the Kyoshi warriors (if you have better ideas on where the girls end up with, you can change them up)?

So if I was going to do an crossover AU I, personally, would not go for an isekai angle. Avatar, like the Star Wars AU I was asked about a while back, would be one I would want to have the characters to be born into the setting naturally instead of being dropped into it.

Mostly because I don't know how much their entering into the plot of ATLA itself would change things. Avatar already has a chosen one character in Aang. While Marcy might be all for a big heroic adventure, Anne and Sasha would be less inclined.

If I was going to set them all up I actually would probably set them up in the time period of Legend of Korra. Cause man what a fun setting and a mixed bag of concepts.

For this AU Anne Sasha and Marcy all grew up in republic city together.

Girls, Before Timeskip

Anne: Gonna buck convention here, Anne's family is from the fire nation, specifically the outer archipelago around the Ember Isles. As to why, its cause ATLA's designers took a lot of inspiration from thai culture for the architecture and fashion on the island. The next incarnation of the Avatar, as her family has roots in some of the water benders who had been captured and brought back as prisoners to the fire nation (like Hana). Does not realize she's a bender at all until she is 12, extremely late bloomer. Discovers she's actually the Avatar on her 13th birthday when she peforms airbending on accident.

Sasha: Comes from an old established colonial family that helped establish Republic City back when it was a fire nation colony. Ethnically I think she'd be half Fire Nation half Earth Kingdom, mostly because this comic about Sasha being Wasian lives rent free in my head since I saw it months ago. She'd probably be a brunette since I don't think blonde hair would be a... thing in Avatar world I think I would make her an earth bender of a fire bender. Mostly cause I like how it would play into her role as the defender of the group and also so she can pick up lava bending in later seasons. Sasha as the only bender for most of their life was also the group protector on the rough and tumble streets of Republic City. Idolized Toph as just a top tier ass kicker.

Marcy: Comes from a family who immigrated to Republic City from Ba Sing Se around the time it became republic city. The only truely nonbender of the group, Marcy spent child hood always a little envious of Sasha. This only grew worse when it turned out Anne was also a bender and Marcy started to feel like the odd one out. Marcy is absolutely obsessed with the technological advances being made in the city. Once Anne is recognized as the Avatar, Marcy throws herself more ardently into her studies of engineering

Plot: So at the start we get a similar set up as canon. Sasha see's herself as the protector and boss of the trio who, even after Anne has had a year with her water bending. On Anne's birthday, Sasha convinces Anne and Marcy to break into the construction site. Things are going alright until some cops show up. Sasha calls for them to run, but Marcy being her clumsy self ends up almost falling off a girder. Anne narrowly manages to pull Marcy back, but at the cost of her own balance and falls. Sasha tries to do something, but there isn't much earth to work with and she doesn't know how to metal bend. Anne in full view of these cops and some onlookers shoots out a jet of air from her hand to save herself.

Anne is made an instant celebrity. Republic cities first Avatar! The people of the water tribes are resentful since culturally Anne is fire nation and one of them were expected to have the next avatar. Anne is stressed and would do anything to put this genie back in the bottle. She didn't want to be the avatar. That was a lot of responsibility! She wasn't even a good bender!

Sasha has a bit of an identity crisis and Marcy is excited for Anne but also nervous that her friends are going to leave her behind.

The white lotus + Tenzin approaches Bee and Oum, insisting Anne be taken into hiding until they can train her. They are hesitant as Anne is already overwhelmed by all the changes and expectations placed on her. However, when a red lotus attack almost kills their daughter they accept.

So in an interesting twist for Amphibia Fanfic, it's Anne who is moving away for a while. Sasha and Marcy both beg the White Lotus members to let them come and keep Anne company but are refused. Sasha argues they should at least take her because she's a talented earth bender and could be a sparing partner for Anne. This argument also doesn't work but does deeply hurt Marcy, since if it had worked it would leave her alone in Republic City.

So Anne is taken away, tearful goodbyes and promises of letters.

Girls During Timeskip

Anne: Anne is deeply resentful of her position of the Avatar and the expectations set upon her shoulders by the world and white lotus. She gets passively adequate at all 4 elements but isn't particularly talented in either. However, in theming with her position as the heart in Amphibia, she does seem to have an extremely natural talent for dealing with spirits which will pay dividends over the course of the series. Anne stays in close contact with Sasha for the entire time skip. However, after something terrible happens to Marcy, and Anne fails to sneak out to go see her, Anne sends letter after letter sending her sympathies and apologizing for being unable to come, but never gets any letters backand so loses contact with Marcy. Though she's determined to rebuild that connection upon her return.

Sasha: After Anne left Sasha fully threw herself into practicing bending, wanting to turn herself into a pillar Anne could rely on once her adventures as an Avatar truly begin. In the process however she kind of turned her back on Marcy. Without Anne as the glue of their relationship, Sasha starts to see Marcy as a social anchor around her ankle as she tries to put together a 'squad' strong enough to support Anne. However she secretly comes to regret this, as without Anne or Marcy be her side, Sasha's only 'friends' are those who are obsessed with their image and reputation, so she no longer has a refuge where she can just act herself. Way too proud to try and make up with Marcy, especially after the incident.

Marcy: A bit lonelier and overworked, Marcy is a prodigious inventor that was scouted by Sato corp right out of school. Once Sasha distanced herself, Marcy threw herself into her studies not making many connections with others. 3 years after Anne leaves Marcy has the incident. Some bending bullies from the girls past who grew into members of the triad. They try to corner Marcy one night when she was alone and without friends. Marcy runs but ends up in an accident and loses her arm as a result. Marcy writes Anne a tear stained letter, begging her to visit cause she feels hurt and alone. We learn that Anne tried to sneak out back then but was caught. Anne wrote back apologizing and promising she did everything she could, but the white lotus intercept the letter and it never gets to Marcy and vice versa. Leaving Marcy to believe she's been abandoned by both of her friends

Story Start

As Anne's 18th birthday rolls around Anne is officially done with life in the compound and enlists the help of dozens of spirits to help her break out this time. They sow chaos and give Anne the time she needs to get to a village and book passage to her home in Republic City. Anne first seeks out Sasha, since they still have an active connection and knows Sasha has a championship match coming up. Sasha is of course super happy to reunite with her and introduce her to her Probending Team. I don’t have a lot of details for these two but they are both pretty insufferable as people. They clearly see Anne as a way for them to boost their reputations. 

After a night with them Anne asks Sasha if she knows where Marcy is so that she can visit. Sasha is reticent, clearly ashamed of how she left things with Marcy, and encourages Anne to move on. Maybe even tries the ‘end of discussion’ move. However in this AU Anne has spent the last half decade being told what to do by every adult in her life, so she’s not going to just meekly ascent to Sasha’s command and seeks out Marcy anyways. 

She eventually finds Marcy still living in all of their old neighborhood, and just teary eyes sprints to her and pulls her into a big bear hug. Marcy is shocked, both that Anne is there and cares about her. They talk through the misunderstanding pretty quick and reform their connection and spend the night catching up. Marcy proudly shows Anne the steampunk as hell prosthetic arm she developed for herself and talks about her job at Sato Corp. Anne confides in Marcy about her insecurities and resentment about being the Avatar. Marcy becomes the first person in five years to agree with her that it is an unfair burdan she has been saddled with, rather than insist that its one she needs to take up anyways. Which is in retrospect will make a lot of sense when part way through season 1 its revealed that Marcy is an equalist and is the one developing their weapons for Mr. Sato. 

So I think that pretty much sets the stage. Giving Anne a friend who both represent flawed ideas of the equalist conflict. Sasha having fully embracing the status quo of ‘Benders are superior and should be treated as such’. And Marcy representing the sympathetic but flawed ‘Some benders abuse their power so all benders must be neutralized for society to progress’. 

and maybe I’ll flesh it out more later but the scene that I think is really cool is when Marcy is revealed as an equalist. Cause Marcy isn’t working against Anne in this AU. Or using their bond to betray her. She eventually tells the truth on her own and tries to get Anne to join her. Insisting that Anne is right, it isn’t fair that everyone has these expectations of her. She shouldn’t have to be the avatar if she doesn’t want to be. And wouldn’t she like to go back to the way things were before all this happened when they were on even footing with each other. 

Which is a really juicy dilemma for Anne to chew on. Cause she’s not a great bender and she doesn’t want this job. 

[bethsuglywigs]

top 5 tropes

1. Canon Divergence 

Cross Your Fingers, Be It Fahrenheit or Centigrade, and Warm in the Fire of Us by @pynkhues

I don’t think I need to sell anyone on Sophie’s work because it’s well established that she provides high quality content. fortunately for me, she also likes the same tropes as me so i stay well fed. 

CYF: a post-s2 fic dripping with angst and criminal activity. the scene where rio interrupts beth’s date lives rent free in my head. 

BIFOC: set during s2, rio is sick 😷 and beth plays nurse 👩‍⚕️ ... god tier scenario 

WITFOU: set during s3 (aka brio’s angst era) lets just say... clean like him changed me on a spiritual level  (inspired the forbid blow job 👀)

a song inside the halls of the dark by @mego42

this fic as everything: a road trip, beth committing murder, crafts, several near death experiences, brio sexily not communicating, find my friends, AND pta moms interacting with brio... like what more could you ask for in a sprawling post-s2 fic? a must read imo 

Good Sport by fireinsideforfun

i know you’re all ARC stans so I don’t need to tell you that fiff is a good writer. but what I am hear to say is that Good Sport is a slept on fic (pun intended). brio bed sharing and not communicating my beloved. 

for a moment we were strangers by openhearts

this is fic is iconic for fully embracing beth and rio’s age gap (41 v. 29)... openhearts said cougar rights. but also this fic is a fun little brio playing house fic and i just can’t get enough of it 

I Put A Spell On You (and now you're mine) by @sdktrs12

um hellooooooooooo halloween 🎃 prompts my beloved. 

2. Hate Sex

your monster looks like mine by mego42

this fic is about having hate sex on drugs..... das it baby 🥵

satisfied through the weekend by @septiembrre

the show gave us brio having sex while beth is on a date with her husband (iconic, revolutionary, etc), but Gaby one-upped them and gave use up brio having sex while beth is on a date with the hitman she hired to murder rio... i have to stan 

As Good As This by @riosnecktattoo

wire sex - i simply love betrayal 

Two Shoes by pynkhues

all you need to know about this fic is that brio do a job together that requires them to dance and then hide in a closet together (sexily)... the animosity and sexual tension is off the charts

I Will Collect You and Capture You by @foxmagpie

oKaY..... these clowns 🤡 are really at their worst in this fic. like please have a conversation im begging you (jk keep hate fucking and being angsty). rio fr thinks he can fuck beth out of his system, but all he can do is think about her when he’s with other women. literally down so bad in this one. 

3. Outsider POV/Interactions

Three Drops (an intermission) and If It Wasn't for All the Lights by pynkhues

these two fics inspired my own outsider pov fic... thats how influential they are. other people should NOT be forced to interact with beth and rio and yet... its so incredibly funny when they do. i would sell my soul for some more outsider pov fic i s2g. 

Choose Your Own Adventure by sdktrs12

if you’ve followed me for longer than 30 seconds then you know im a cyoa stan. the concept of beth and rio having to spend time with normal parents makes me insane. and they’re just so horny for each other, but in the woods and thats just so special to me.

listening through the air shaft by mego42

another iconic outsider pov fic. truly the dean pov chapter is incredible. like it was so incredibly big brained of meg to make Dean witness brio coming out of the  bathroom break bathroom together. transcendent really. 

AITA for wanting to stop paying my wife’s “business partner” and yelling at her? by @lemoncupcake

spoiler alert: he is the asshole 

PTA Vibes by greyish 

again i’m OBSESSED with the idea of normal people interacting with brio and being subjected to their insanity. and brio being on the pta together is inherently hysterical. 

4. School AU

delinquents, stunner, and I'll Fall If You Do by foxmagpie

queen of high school aus it has to be said. the high school teacher just JUMPS out and im obsessed. 

delinquents... my beloved... where to even begin? a must read for sure. i love this fic so much it inspired my entire fanfic fanart series. 

stunner: blockt for this one; intentional infliction of emotional distress law suit still pending 

IFIYD: i love two dummies with a requited crush on each other playing spin the bottle   

Both Sides of the Law by @joeyjoeylee

if you’re ever been to law school then you’d know that joey captured it perfectly. its the perfect au setting for brio because only insane people go to law school. thats just facts. this fic made me cry (real actual tears from my eyes) several times. 😭😭😭😭😭😭

QuikGrove University by sdktrs12

a staple in the brio college au category. just two college students having sex and committing crimes like god intended. 

watermelon sugar and Seven Minutes in Heaven by @querenaxx

ws: rio spends this entire fic with his tongue 👅 inside beth and i love that journey for him

smih: the title really says it all. and what im saying is that it needs a sequal as asap as possible.

Jawbreaker by riosnecktattoo

tay does simp rio like no one else... its the longing for me... (also rio sexily plays basketball)

Pre Season by @wakeupflawless

if you follow my main blog then you know im obsessed with soccer so of course a brio soccer au is going to be my bread and butter. they literally want to fuck each other so bad, but also, they want to beat each other on the field and that just feels so right.

Sliding Into Third by @fairhairedkings

baseball rio... das it baby... that’s all i need to say i think

A Special Kind of Business by CaptainCabinets

beth x rio x high school x drug dealing = incredible 

5. Very Brio Specific Sex (i.e. pool table, hot tub, desk etc.)    

Invitation to a Beheading by riosnecktattoo

they literally have sex next to a dead body (🥴)

Say It by riosnecktattoo 

desk sex with a twist bc its at boland bubbles instead of boland motors (cucking is cucking babes)

trade my heart for honey and now use both hands by mego42

tmhfh: antagonistic pool playing leads to fucking on the pool table 

nusbh: desk sex but they make it other peoples problem lmao

Lining Up the Shot  and Part of the Equation by brokensatellites

luts: he bends her over the pool table just like in canon, but its actually sexy

pote: hot tub sex like literally fucking in the hot bubbly water 

Show Me How To Get Offended by FakePlastikTrees 

hot tub sex, sex in the hot tub - its what we deserved but never got

your tongue told me every lie by carrythesky 

desk sex on THE boland motors desk... 😌

Salty Sweet by foxmagpie

desk sex but beth is sucking him off under the desk while hes conducting business 

[detective-gum-chew]

okay okay okay

i know this isnt an orginal idea by any means but roleswap!narumitsu is just so good

so youll have to indulge me because this lives in my head rent free and i want to write it down concretely somewhere (also this gets LONG so ill pop a cut in here)

alright so:

1. at least in my writing of it, this is also a no-dl6/gregory lives au. but as well at that, miles and phoenix didnt go to school together

2. this means that there was nobody to defend phoenix at the class trial (yes i know the money stolen was edgeworths but shhh lets pretend it was someone elses, kay?) this lead to phoenix becoming not only bitter, but somewhat obsessive over the idea of punishing people that do wrong

(if someone can find that quote where phoenix talks about how he could have become a prosecutor because of the trial i will give u a gentle kiss on the forehead) 

3. Edgeworth was raised by Gregory and ends up becoming a defense attorney

4. in this, Von Karma goes down and Franzy is adopted by Gregory, and she assists Miles in his cases. (she can still have a whip, as a treat.)

5. anyway with that set up, lets get into some cases

6. Larry gets accused of Cindys murder, Miles defends with Franzy

7. Lets say Mia was in the crowd of that trial and decided to contact miles, seeing as he appears to be another uncorrupt lawyer and asks him for his help in taking down Redd White

8. He agrees, and she sets a time for him to meet at her office so they can talk. Mia then calls her sister and updates her on how shes going to recruit another person (Redd White hears this)

9. Much like the original case, Mia gets murdered, but this time, Maya isnt here to be blamed. Instead, its Miles himself, as the name that White heard over the phone (so basically we’re speed running to the “defend yourself in court” part)

10. the prosecutor today is Phoenix Wright.

11. but before that lets go into some backstory actually. Phoenix had encountered Mia previously during the Terry Fawles case. He had respected her as a peer, if not for just her determination and deductive skills. (After all, he was young at the time and solely focused on punishing the wicked) After Diego’s poisoning, he had briefly reached out for condolences

12. but anyway, Phoenix had distantly respected Mia, and now that she was dead, he was going to be tough on whoever he thought murdered her.

13. Miles proves his innocence, although it takes some baiting to get Redd White out of his building and actually into court. 

14. Wright is... not pleased about this, but theres not much he can do. His displeasure for Mias murder has shifted, but theres a new displeasure for Miles, the man who could beat him in court. (”well well well, you managed to save your own skin. But you should hope you get as lucky as you did in your next case”)

15. Next case! We know Miles is a steel samurai fan, so even without Maya it takes very little convincing for him to take the case. (Fran is not as amused but trusts her brother... enough.. to follow his lead)

16. Case proceeds mostly as normal, with Phoenix requiring Dee to re-do her testimony (maybe something deep within him still itches to put the true bad guy away, even if its harder than the accused)

17. I dont think Phonix would deliver the unnecessary feelings line, although there definetely is that moment in the lobby where hes like “hm. maybe you arent a bad person, but that doesnt mean i have to like you.”

18. and now, now now now, we finally get to the part where i somehow managed to put the most thought into. (for context it is nearly 2 am when i am writing this)

19. sleep schedule aside, you couldnt have thought i would made this WITHOUT some good angst, so here we go. case four is similarly structured to the original, but with an extra side of Phoenix angst.

20. Miles wakes up to Franzy shaking him. She points to the television. the news is on, but the voices are drowned out by a distant ringing as he stares at the image on the screen.

Famed Prosecutor Phoenix Wright Arrested For Murder

21. it just doesnt make sense. So he gets out of bed and into the closest clothes he can find and out the door with his sister in tow. He sits in the cold detention room, thinking about the other side of the glass.

22. Phoenix Wright looks dull. He asks what they want. Miles says he wants an explanation. Wright sneers and asks why. For some reason, that pisses Miles off. He slams his badge to the glass and Wright looks surprised.

“Do you know what this is? It’s my attorneys badge.”

“the badge doesnt mean youre a good lawyer.”

“Well Mr Wright, its 2-0, so i dont think you have any right to say that.” Miles glares at him and Wright sits back in his seat. He watches Miles for a long time.

“If im going to defend you, you need to tell me what happened.“ Wrights eyebrows shoot up and Franziska squawks at his side

“What do you mean defend him!”

“What she said.”

Miles narrows his eyes at Wright as he ponders to himself the answer. Why is he doing it? the answer comes to him. 

“Because i dont believe you did it.”

For all his snark, Miles cant bring himself to believe that the man in front of him would kill someone. Theres something about him, either in his eyes or the way he carries himself that makes the idea itself preposterous. Wright looks at him for a long time after he says it.

“Very well.”

21. Miles doesnt seem him until court, but at least he testifies. The next person up, a red head by the name of Melissa Foster, gives a testimony that seems airtight.

22. that is, until he looks over at Phoenix, who is pale as he looks at the woman on the witness stand. Phoenix catches his eye, and very carefully, very slowly, mouths one name.

Dahlia Hawthorne

23. (I really wish i could continue with the more narrative parts of this but im honestly running out of steam and ill get to the point lol. Maybe ill finish it later.)

24. Terry Fawles dies on the stand. Diego Armando falls into a coma. Dahlia Hawthorne walks free. Even after what happened to Diego, Phoenix is convinced he can do better. He sets up a meeting with Dahlia.

25. Doug shows up, trying to persuade him away from it, saying he overheard Dahlia’s plan to kill Phoenix when she arrives. Phoenix is cocky, and the pair fight. Doug gets shoved into the powerline. Phoenix, thinking him dead, panics and runs.

26. Dahlia, having overheard, goes back and finishes him off, drops some poison into his mouth perhaps. With an accidental death with a cause so obvious, nobody bothers to run blood tests (until Miles)

27. Its years later, and Phoenix gets a note that tells him they know what really happened to Doug. Phoenix arrives to a meeting place to find a dead body. He picks up the vial of poison almost absently. 

28. After all, Dahlia had gotten rid of Diego and Mia was dead. Now all she had to do was get rid of Phoenix

29. It plays out similarly to case four, with Phoenix being absolved of the first murder, then confessing to the old one. Miles has gone through the work to save his life once, that he cant not do it again.

30. but happy endings (ish) for all, with Phoenix being freed, Dahlia imprisoned and Miles having a better understanding of both him and Phoenix.

31. maybe more happens but we’re at bullet point 31 so its time to stop for now lmao. uh but yeah! roleswap au..... brainrot really.

[ladyloveandjustice]

The Westing Game Chapter 21

The Fourth Bomb

In a wacky misunderstanding, Theo thinks Alice is the bomber and tries to blackmail her with the info so he can borrow her bike (Yes, really. Go big or go home is Theo’s motto) but of course Alice thinks he means he knows ANGELA is the bomber.

And in what might be the most touching moment in the book so far, Alice responds to this by setting off a bomb and writing a thing indicating that she is the bomber in order to throw all suspicion off Angela. She eve loses her trademark braid in the process.

It really is incredibly sweet. Alice is very caustic toward her sister, but this isn’t the first time she’s indicated she’s ride-or-die when it comes down to it (she got rid of the evidence for Angela and warned her not to say anything to the lawyer), and it’s also a very lovely response to Angela’s early sacrifice- where she took the bomb she made to her face rather than have it explode to her sisters. But while Angela’s sacrifice was spur-of-the-moment motivated by guilt and panic as well as love (not that it makes it less meaningful), Alice’s is one she planned out and considered. She had time to consider the consequences. She knew that Angela willingly put herself in this position. But she still chose to take the fall anyway, and set off a bomb after seeing what the same thing did to her sister’s face.

She already feels meaningless to her family in general, and maybe on the surface she feels her standing (with her mother in particular) can’t get any lower. “I’m already the troublemaker, I’m already the unwanted one, I have nothing to lose, but Angela would lose everything” was how she convinced herself. (in addition to being aware as a minor she wouldn’t be punished as harshly, smart girl that she is).

But it’s also clear that Alice DOES long for her mother’s love and approval, and I think she also had to contend with a deep fear that after this action, there’d be no going back for them, that she’d doomed herself to be the ‘bad one’ forever. Yet she still did it.

And the loss of her braid is of course, incredibly significant. Angela said earlier that the braid is her “crutch”- she bases a lot of her personality around it. It was her excuse to spend time with her mother and now her excuse to spend time with Flora, it’s the trademark thing people can pull on and she can then she gets excuse to kick them and get in fights and form connections, it’s how she gets attention and relationships for herself without exposing her own vulnerability. But she sacrificed what little that makes her stand out, what little social currency she has to protect the same sister who she envies for being in the spotlight- because that bond is more important than her jealousy and her need for attention. Just like her sister sacrificed one of the things that bring her adulation- her looks- to protect her. Love is more important than those petty things.

Alice is forced to talk to Judge Ford afterwards and, sharp as ever, Ford guesses that she’s protecting Angela.  This quote especially gets me:

The judge was astounded (…). Angela could not be the bomber, that sweet, pretty thing. Thing? Is that how she regarded the young woman, as a thing? And what had she ever said to her except “I hear you’re getting married, Angela” or “You’re so pretty, Angela”. Had anyone ever asked about her ideas, her hopes, her plans? If I had been treated like that, I’d have used dynamite, not fireworks; no, I would have just walked and kept on going. But Angela was different.

There’s a fascinating theme in this book about being marginalized, and the different ways these marginalized people both are pitted against each other and can overlook even each other while also finding connections and comradery with each other… I think I’ll have to wait until the end to fully get my thesis on the whole thing together, but I really find it interesting and appreciate it. Ford’s struggles as a black woman, Alice being overlooked for not performing femininity (thus envious of Angela despite knowing how shitty she has it), Angela being boxed because everyone wants to mold her as the perfect feminine ideal (thus feeling envious of Alice despite knowing how shitty she has it), Sun feeling out of place as a Chinese immigrant, Hoo knowing he’s looked down upon as a Chinese-American (yet still not considering the pain of his own wife), Chris struggling as a disabled kid, many people who are financially disadvantaged and/or feeling limited to the role of caretaker, Sydelle feeling overlooked in general and appropriating others’ struggles in her bizarre quest to get noticed- it’s all very interesting and pretty deftly handled, especially considering the time period the book was written in. 

And our antagonist is quintessential exploitative Rich White Man (obsessed with American Exceptionalism to boot), though it’s casually mentioned he’s the son of immigrants, an identity he seems to have actively shed, going so far as to change his name (if that’s why he changed it), so there’s even complexity there.

But the thing with Ford here is an interesting demonstration of that. Despite being smart and socially aware and having an even more fraught history of being dismissed and belittled, she didn’t give much thought to Angela and subconsciously went along with the same objectification everyone else does, putting her on a pedestal. (There’s a lot to be said about how Angela’s veneration and perceived “purity” by the others might interact with her whiteness, and how Ford realizing she bought into that narrative subconsciously might feel to her as a black woman, but I’m not really the person to discuss that. Anyway!)

The other important development here is that Alice also finally confesses that she saw Westing the night of his murder but mentions that the Westing she saw didn’t look dead, but asleep and like a wax dummy. This sets off alarm bells for both me and Ford.

So, I think its safe to say my earlier theory Sam Westing isn’t dead is probably true. What of the corpse that was present at the will-reading? I think people would have noticed it was a wax dummy, but a disguised corpse from his coroner friend still makes some sense. So where is Westing now? Considering Barney Northup doesn’t exist, could he be Barney?

But speaking of Westing, if we need further confirmation the man is the scum of the earth, he’s a union buster and he fired Sandy for trying to organize one in the paper plant.

We also learn Ford’s backstory with Westing at last: Her parents were household staff at Westing’s mansion and she grew up there as a result. She played chess with Westing frequently as a child, but not only would he brag and take pride in beating a goddamn pre-teen, he mocked her with racialized insults. She never won, but Westing ended up financing her education (that’s the ‘debt’ she owes him). She believes he did this to get a judge he could control, but has refused to play along, removing herself from any case involving him.

I can’t help but think Westing would have known Ford wouldn’t play ball, though. So he may have had another motive for sending her to school. It could be something even more sinister. Or… in his own twisted way, did he actually like her? He obviously realized she was incredibly intelligent during those matches, even if he sadistically enjoyed mocking her, enough to know she’d do well with an education. Did he play chess with her so much not just because he enjoyed tormenting her, but enjoyed her as a person as well? It obviously does not excuse what a racist sadistic shithead he is, and I’m not saying he’s secretly nice- just that it could be he was incapable of relating to anyone in a healthy way. I actually think sending Ford to school could have just been an extension of his desire to torment her AND the only way he knew that would guarantee he remained important in her life. He didn’t ever plan to cash in on her debt, but knew it would kill her just to BE in his debt, and got pleasure out of that alone. He probably just thought it was funny and it was also a way to guarantee he’d live in her head rent free- and because deep down he knew she was a cool kid, he also wanted that. He didn’t want her to forget him, maybe, which is sick! But much more interesting than simply “he wanted a judge he could manipulate”.

But it’s also worth noting this is Ford’s (perhaps) final chance to win against Westing in the ultimate chess match. And I can’t help but think he is well aware how smart she is, so he invited her here specifically because he knew she could be his undoing, the one who unravels everything. So- if we go with the ‘Westing is seeking atonement’ theory- did he invite her to give her that satisfaction of finally beating him, like he always knew deep down she could? Because he WANTS to be beaten, to be found out and knows she deserves to be the one after all the hell he put her through? Or in the ‘Westing is still a complete monster’ theory- is his intention to torment her one last time, to show her she can’t win against him? (if it is, I think he may well find he’s gravely mistaken there).

I don’t think Westing can truly achieve “redemption” with this “game”, nor am I one to easily believe the Ultimate Shitty Capitalist can change easily, but if one thing can shake someone’s worldview and make them reevaluate how they live their life, the death of their child WOULD be a big one. So “this will actually be Westing’s weird twisted attempt at atonement” is a possibility I just can’t stop thinking about. If it is, it’s kind of funny and incredible he can’t stop being manipulative and traumatizing even when he decides he wants to do something good.

On top of all that, Angela and Sydelle get more clues and finally figure out the ‘America the Beautiful’ connection. God, so much to chew on this chapter! I really fear for these last nine chapters. I might end up writing a novel longer than the actual novel analyzing and recapping them if I’m not careful. But that’s how you know it’s a compelling story, so hats off to Ellen Raskin!

[moonknight-ep5]

Hello there! You mentioned in a recent post that you headcanon/interpret Caleb as having DID, and that thought never occurred to me but it is? So good? And I would like to hear more about it, if you have more to say on the matter?

i'd love to! this is a long one haha.. (@anonym-potato)

disclaimer

please note that i am only theorizing, and that i am a system host myself, so don't cancel me. also: please don't tag this post as anything relating to the DID/OSDD community in your reblogs! thanks!

key

for future reference in this post, i thought i'd need a key of some kind.

red = personal experiences

orange = scientific evidence

green = assumptions based on canon lore

blue = historical context

pink = minis

headcanons/interpretations

i'm basing this off of the assumption that bren and caleb alone are a system, but there could always be more.

• bren is caleb's alter, despite being the born identity. in my system, host-switches (the act of the title of "host" being given to another alter through constant fronting or a retire of position) are fairly common, one happening every few years. it's completely possible that caleb, through constant fronting (or forced fronting), has adopted the title of "host" from bren, leaving bren nearly powerless to take it back for himself.

• he went to the sanitorium for having DID, not for being insane. throughout history, it has been said that people that were seen as less than neurotypical were sent to asylums and sanitoriums (there's a difference!!) to be "fixed" and to churches to be "exorcised." in d&d, you play as characters in medieval times, where this practice was most prevalent. to medical professionals at the time, seeing a switch of any caliber could yield "unstable" behavior, which could've lead to his hospitalization. maybe he was insane when he left, but he definitely wasn't when he went in.

the eleven years. the time spent in the sanitorium is entirely blocked off from his mind, and nearly impossible, even with caleb's eclectic memory, to recall. DID has few requirements, yes, but arguably one of the most important symptoms is dissociative amnesia. this amnesia occurs during high stress situations that can constitute as trauma or while one isn't fronting, both of which are caused by dissociation (directly or indirectly). for the purposes of these theories, i'd say it's a mixture of the two.

the "cure." while caleb was recalling his time at the hospital, he remembered that there was a woman that helped him get rid of the "cloudiness" from his mind. DID is a trauma based disorder caused by amnesia. "getting rid" of his trauma would cause amnesia. keeping his trauma would cause amnesia. it's a paradox with no happy ending. as a result, all the woman got rid of, in my opinion, was his vegetative state. this is why there are still times where you could conclude that caleb is still unstable. there's many of these moments in c2 so i'd rather not sift through them all.

• DID and its causes. intense, repeated traumatic experiences during childhood/early adolescence (around 7-11, with a few years error) causes DID. according to the timeline of his backstory, he was approached by the representatives of the soltryce academy at around 9 years old, which means he started working with ikithon at 10. this puts him just under the threshold of the most apparent developmental stage for this disorder.

• "caleb widogast" seems like such a fake name, not even with alias standards.

• caleb has been seen dissociating for hours at a time. if you're new to the program: after fights where he gets a hdywtdt on a humanoid while using pyromancy, caleb has to make a wisdom saving throw to avoid dissociation. this dissociation could last for hours, whether it be active dissociation (blankness while doing menial tasks) or full dissociation (unable to move, talk, or think). only something intense could snap him out of it, whether it be a slap of the face or a kiss on the head (that scene lives rent free in my head).

• some of caleb's attributes are changed from time to time. caleb likes a lot of things: bread, the scraggly hobo life, books, and numbers, to name a few, though there are times where some of these likes get shifted into obsessions, where caleb likes spellcasting, but bren loves the idea of staying up late and working on a spell with no sleep (and that counts as a point of exhaustion for both of them, not just one, because they share the body and therefore have to take care of it). it's not either of their faults, its just how they were conditioned during the time of their trauma.

• caleb has canonically talked to himself in the third person.

• constant polymorphs and shapeshifting alters. in my system, there is a veth fictive that can shapeshift between "veth" and "nott." she has admitted to using this ability to stay "front-stuck" (where an alter physically cannot switch out) because she can't switch when out of her "true form." now think of it like this: caleb and polymorph, especially in recent history. there's a tag going around, reading "*polymorphs into a creature to stupid to be depressed*" in reference to caleb's now constant use of the spell. it could just be us, but its still something to think about.

• there has been a "switch" in canon. i mentioned in the original post that there was a scene in canon where caleb has been seen switching, as a result of a confrontation from trent ikithon and the cerberus assembly. (don't mind the watermark im not rich)

this is a switch as a result of an auditory trigger. the hearing of one's name, a song, or even a random word adversely connected to trauma can be considered an auditory trigger. hearing bren's name, especially from trent, caused caleb to get immediately defensive and angry. when the camera pans back to caleb after everyone's reactions, you see him hyperventilating slightly with a face of worry, shut his eyes tight, and open them with a slack face to get a sense of his surroundings. he also leans near beau, someone who he could ask for context or reason, but then thinks against it as he remembers: they don't know.

[anakinthetrashking]

yo! you just read the queen's thief series? :0 i am a long-time fan and would LOVE to hear any of your feelings about it (also, have you seen the discord server bc its pretty active and fans always love more fans if discord servers are your thing :)

So, you'll have to forgive how LATE this reply is, it's been a mixture of busy-school-semester-quarantine-social-burnout and tumblr deleting my replies when I tried to save them to continue writing later!! But it's now 3am and my brain won't stop thinking about Queen's Thief, so it's the best time to reply, really! (But I really do appreciate you sending in this ask to let me rant about TQT!!!!! AHFKSISJ replying is just hard sometimes lol)

So because I'm terribly long winded and because spoilers!!! For a few people who follow me who haven't read it/or haven't finished reading it, the rest is under the readmore!

Where to begin. So my blog says I just read it but I realized that's a little bit of a lie now? I read the first five books for the first time at the end of Dec 2019, and the beginning of January 2020! I had seen the name of the series around before, around Tumblr bc of a few people I'm following, in regards to a Batfam fic by lurkinglurkerwholurks, ( this one: Breathing )who is ALSO a longtime TQT fan! I reread her Batfam fic after reading the Queen's Thief series and it hit SOOOOOOOOO much harder. Really brilliant. But that last straw was getting an email saying that one of my other all time fav fic writers was writing a fic for TQT. I saw that email and basically immediately downloaded The Thief on my library app 😂 (i needed to be able to read the fic!!! And I'm soooooo glad I: a) read the series before reading the fic, therefore not spoiling anything and b) was able to read the fic because holy cow does it live rent free in my brain. It's Ere by audreycritter btw)

Anyhow, I absolutely DEVOURED the books. I read one after another and then ended up rereading the first three again more slowly over the course of that spring semester. I started drawing again, listened to a good amount the Attolian Archives podcast, reblogged and MADE!! ART!! and m e m es, died when MWT REBLOGGED ONE OF MY MEMES AND SAID IT MADE HER LAUGH, recommended the series to a bunch of people and got several to at least *start* reading the series! I haven't gotten seratonin from books like this since early high school ten years ago! 🤣

Plus the fandom is SO SWEET!!!! And MWT is so engaging!!!! I love that she lets us play in her sandbox! It's like she made a fully furnished dollhouse complete with dolls but she lets us continue to decorate it and build on it and move the dolls around, and then she comes up and gives us compliments on the little things we've done!!! 🥺😭💞

Oh but the books themselves!!! They dig their spots in my heart deeper everytime I read them!!! I don't think Ive ever read a series that I enjoy more every time I reread it. I'm looking forward to rereading this last book, bc I know that the only one that I was obsessed with the first read through was QoA. All the others I liked the first time I read it, but I wasn't in LOVE with them, you know? But when I went back to read them a second time I LOVED THEM. Its like a riptide that you kick around in the shallows the first time around, and then the next time suddenly you're sucked out to sea???

It feels like the pages hold secrets that need to be teased out. The dialogue is SO FUN. It has suspense but not so much that you're stressed. It's so balanced. It has lines that make you put the book down and have to just, do a lap.around the block because they really said that. THEY REALLY SAID THAT. "Diplomacy, in my own name." SHE REALLY SAID THAT. The symbolism, the foreshadowing, I'm OBSESSED! THE CHARACTERS!!!! THE LOYALTY!!!!! What i wouldn't do to have that sort of loyalty written into some of the other fandoms that I'm in. And the TEnderNESS. The way Gen interacts with others??? The way he loves so.wholly? With his entire self??? The way that it's sorta slowburn found family before tumbling into found family all at once in a way that isn't slowburn at all?? I'm pulled in by Gens tricks every time. The storytwists surprised me but made sense. The writing was enjoyable to get lost in. I think of the way that Gen sits at Irene's feet and looks up at her with eyes full of love, how he sits like a printers apprentice in a chair but sits like a king while sick/hurt in his bed, I think about the way he pushed Relius's hair back and kissed him on the forehead, how Relius said he would still crawl back to his Queen and Gen said me too, the difference between my Queen and my King and your Majesty 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 the way Helen says that Sophos basically has Gens heart in his hands, the way that all four of them are entwined together. I think about these books and I'm filled with YEARNING

Uh, No thoughts, head empty except for squeeing about TQT. This isn't even like,,,,,, idk a quarter of it??? There's so much more but it's all so hard to put into words, a lot of it is just me yelling incoherently because I'm overwhelmed! And when I string words together it's, well. All over the place! 😂

As for the discord thing, I've seen the link around! I'm uh, Not Great(tm) at being social, and so the discord is a leeeeetle daunting, haha. But I have considered it, especially because I have an... Interesting fic idea that I wanted to drop into the pool of other TQT fans to see their reactions. It's... a little bit evil...

Thanks again for the ask!

[ryqoshay]

Putting on Hairs: Monster Manual

Summary: Short descriptions of the monster types of each girl and the role they play in the theater or in association with it. Warning: This Manual may contain ***SPOILERS*** for characters not yet mentioned or explored or for scenes that have not yet been written, though I will try to keep things limited to what has been revealed.

This chapter also may end up being edited. A lot. This whole thing is a work in progress, so unrevealed or unexplored characters may have their monster types or roles, or both, changed if a better idea presents itself.

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Name: Yazawa Nico Race: Weredog Werewolf Role: Star of Putting on Hairs Background: Inspired to be an actress by her father, who wanted her to share her smile with the world. She has been acting pretty much as long as she has been able to talk. She had many lead roles back in high school and college, but was unable to land one upon becoming a professional, despite her popularity with both critics and general audiences. She earned enough to hire an old high school friend, Nozomi, to be her agent. It was Nozomi that found a newly opened theater willing to give Nico her first shot at stardom on the professional stage.

Name: Nishikino Maki Race: Salamander Role: Costar of Putting on Hairs Background: Maki was born into a family of famous and wealthy movie stars. However, she grew up falling in love with live theater, instead of the silver screen. Still, she obeyed her parents' wishes and became a child star in a television series and appeared in many commercials afterward. After college, she manged to persuade her parents to let her try performing in live theater and they made the connections that landed her costar role alongside the rising star, Nico.

Name: SakurauchiRiko Race: Demon, formerly of Amdusias' legion Role: Pianist in the orchestra Background: Fearing facing an eternity of playing the cacophonous music of Hell, Riko fled to Earth in an attempt to find something else. She was quickly drawn to the piano and was able to earn a meager living playing in bars and other small venues. She applied many other places and was eventually accepted at a newly opened theater.

Name: Tsushima Yoshiko Yohane Race: Angel, Fallen Role: Assistant in the costume department Background: Cast out of heaven and cursed, Yoshiko has spent years trying to find her place in the mortal realm. Somehow, she found herself in Tokyo and stumbled into a kind woman, Kotori, who offered to teach her how to weave her own feathers into garments that could be sold at a premium. When Kotori accepted a position at a theater being opened by her childhood friend, Umi, Yoshiko decided to follow and continue her apprenticeship. Name: Toujou Nozomi Race: ??? Role: Nico's agent Background: Nico's closest friend since high school where they were in the same drama club. They moved in together in college and have lived together since. Nozomi majored in business and began her own talent agency with Nico as her first client.

Name: Minami Kotori Race: Crane Role: Head of costume department Background: Childhood friend of Umi and Honoka. Has always had an affinity toward clothing and design. When Umi started working with Dia to open a theater, Kotori jumped at the chance to make outfits for the cast. She is quite skilled at using her own feathers to imbue exceptional qualities in the clothing she creates and is happy to pass this knowledge to Yoshiko, her assistant. She is also capable of using other materials derived from other beings, e.g. Phobetor's fur or Riko's wings. Favors are her preferred currency, particularly those that will benefit the theater.

Name: Sonoda Umi Race: ??? Role: Co-founder and Co-owner of the Sonoda Kurosawa Theater Background: Childhood friend of Kotori and Honoka. Daughter of the renowned Sonoda family who already have a theater in Tokyo. However, as her elder brother stands to inherit the family theater, she has decided to open one of her own in a different district.

Name: Kousaka Honoka Race: ??? Role: Owner of Kousaka Catering Background: Childhood friend of Kotori and Umi. Took over the family catering business when her parents retired. Happily contracts with Umi's theater as often as possible.

Name: Hoshizora Rin Race: ??? (cat something) Role: Delivery girl at Kousaka Catering Background: Childhood friend, now girlfriend of Hanayo. Happily supports her girlfriend's theater obsession, even if she doesn't share it.

Name: Koizumi Hanayo Race: ??? Role: Cast member Background: Childhood friend, now girlfriend of Rin. Obsessed with theater from a young age, Hanayo has always dreamed of becoming an actress. However, she lacks courage. Rin's encouragement and support were the driving force behind her joining the theater club in high school and eventually earning a degree in acting. It was also Rin's connection with Umi through Honoka that led her to be brought on at the new theater.

Name: Ohara Mari Race: ??? Role: Heiress to the Ohara chain of hotels and patron of the theater Background: Childhood friend of Kanan and Dia. Lost track of her best friends when she moved to the United States to finish high school and then Italy for college. Returned to Japan but was only successful in reuniting with Kanan. Both moved to Tokyo when they heard Dia was opening a theater there. She owns a sizable penthouse apartment near the theater where she lives with Kanan. She leaves a room open for Dia, should she ever wish to accept the offer.

Name: Matsuura Kanan Race: Kraken Role: Owner of a dive shop and driver for Mari Background: Childhood friend of Mari and Dia. Lost track of Mari when she moved to the United States to finish high school and Dia when she moved to Tokyo for college. Reunited with Mari upon her return to Japan and agreed to move to Tokyo with her when they heard Dia was opening a theater there. She lives with Mari in a sizable penthouse apartment. As Mari refuses to charge her rent, she contributes to the household in other ways, like driving for Mari.

Name: Kurosawa Dia Race: ??? Role: Co-founder and Co-owner of the Sonoda Kurosawa Theater Background: Childhood friend of Mari and Kanan. Lost track of Mari when she moved to the United States to finish high school. Then she moved to Tokyo for college and lost track of Kanan. She is not entirely sure how Mari and Kanan learned she was opening a theater, but she is grateful for the generous donations made by Mari. She is also grateful Mari has not attempted to use the donations as leverage in her repeated efforts to get Dia to move in with her and Kanan. As for the theater, she has not openly discussed her reasons for moving to Tokyo instead of staying in Numazu where her family was already established in the industry. Upon opening, she extended an offer of employment to her younger sister, Ruby.

Name: Kurosawa Ruby Race: ??? Role: General staff at the theater Background: Younger sister of Dia. Grew up obsessed with acting, though has never had the courage to try becoming an actress herself. She moved to Tokyo when Dia offered her employment at the theater she was opening. Her best friend, Hanamaru, has suggested trying for a few minor roles, but time will tell if she does so.

Name:Kunikida Hanamaru Race: ??? Role: Theater crew Background: Best friend of Ruby who she met in middle school. Raised in a temple with few modern amenities, she has limited experience with technology. However, the temple did host many events over the years, most of which included some sort of theatrical performace. As such, Hanamaru decided to join Ruby in moving to Tokyo and applied for a position in the crew for Dia's theater.

Name: Emma Verde Race: ??? Role: ??? Background: Born and raised in Switzerland, she moved to Japan to learn more about the country's culture by way of its theater production. At least that is what she would say if asked in a public interview. In private, among those she trusts, she would admit she wanted to learn more about the differences of public perception and acceptance of monsters in Japan compared to the rest of the world.

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Notes: So, that's what I have at the moment. I'll keep adding details as they come to me.

As mentioned above, I will attempt to keep this chapter spoiler-free. However, as spoilers personally do not bother me, if the interest is there with my readers, I will put everything I have here, not just the details revealed in the story, up to wherever I have managed to write. This probably will result in more edit notifications, as I will undoubtedly change things, right up to the point of it being used in the story. And I'm not opposed to possible retcons if better ideas come later.

Also, many of the ??? entries are due to me not having assigned that monster type or role to that girl, though some I have assigned, but have not yet revealed. I am still working on filling my spreadsheet and bouncing ideas off several fellow authors.

However, I am more than happy to accept suggestions from my readers as well. Feel free to comment over on AO3 or send a suggestion anonymously here, or message me directly here, on twitter or Discord. If I like the idea or your reasoning, I may end up using it, and as always I will do my best to credit the sources of my inspiration.

Also, the idea doesn't necessarily need to be a perfect fit. Koto's is probably the best fit out of all of them; I really don't think I will end up doing better. WoofNic is shamelessly stolen from daily-nicotine. Krakanan was too funny not to use, though I knew she had to be some sort of sea critter. Maki started as an Ifrit and was changed to salamander because I love the idea of her being smaller than Nico. Riko is a demon to be an opposite to Yohane's angel, but I'm also amused by the contrast between Riko's canon traits and those stereotypically assigned to demons.

[spellnbone]

Contrary to what some people think at first sight of his description, Edgar is not someone who rejects emotions. He might be driven by a mind that craves logic, but his heart is a loyal one and contributes to his decisions greatly. Following positive nihilistic philosophies, he knows the importance of love, of loving, and of living in the moment freely. This being said, while he does enjoy a night full of quick-lived romance, he is mainly a terrible serial monogamist.

Age Fourteen - Ainsley

He was in year four when the kids around him began trying things out. Drinking, flirting, kissing. Removed from everyone as he was at that time, he saw no reason to participate, but when he heard that Amelia too had played such games at a recent party, he grew jealous. The two were still in a process of detaching themselves from the other and the idea to be so purposefully excluded from her adventures lit an angry little fire inside of him.

So he stomped up to one of his (very few) friends, Ainsley, who was herself reading a book in a corner at a Ravenclaw party, and prepared a whole speech about why logically it’s of fundamental use to try some of those games yourself, for the sake of both philosophical and physiological development, and then -- never got a single word out. Instead he just pressed a kiss to her mouth.  

“Thank you.” “You’re welcome.”

And they never spoke of it again.

Age Fifteen - Tsi / Fabian

It was in a similar line of thinking that Tsi, a Slytherin, chose Edgar to be her boyfriend. They’d been transfig partners for almost three months, working on a project together, and eventually she decided he’d be good for snogging. Seeing how Amelia, too, just had gotten a boyfriend, Edgar wasn’t very hesitant to agree. He thought it rather agreeable that Tsi didn’t care about his opinions or wishes and just told him what to do, when and how, as it at least alleviated any form of awkwardness -- and taught him a lot.

She broke up with him when the Summer holidays came, with the words: “You’re probably gay anyway.” He was a little upset as to how one could possibly come to such a conclusion, and then spent the Summer drunk and making out with Fabian.

Age Seventeen and Eighteen - Wandering Philosophers

After graduation, Dell invited Edgar to join his little group of Wandering Philosophers. If one has ever seen one of those Summer of Love hippie bus drug montages, one can image what this year abroad was like for Edgar. It was perhaps 1971 and not 1967 but that did not stop the excess of free love and free drugs.

By the end of the year, Edgar had made more experiences than his mind cared to remember, had massively changed his opinions on friendship and other people, and had -- somehow managed to find a steady girlfriend?

Age Nineteen - Janis

Said steady girlfriend came with him back to Hastings. It’s not entirely clear what came first, her or the end of Edgar’s travels, but either way, the moment he’d spoken his first I Love You, he knew he wanted her to come to England with him. As he worked for the West Sussexian Wizarding Paper, they rented a small apartment by the sea, and he was the happiest one could be.

She was not. The American Witch often hinted at him how small the world had become, how the routines felt so terribly familiar, how there was no newness anymore -- and he thought she meant it in a positive way. It turned out, she didn’t. When Edgar stumbled upon Ainsley one day, she suggested he’d join the Daily Prophet in London, and when he told this to Janis, her cry of relief was great.

“Yes, please, Edgar, go!” she said, and in between words of reassurance that she did love him, that she just hated the small town life, she was already packing her own bags.

Age Twenty to Twenty-Two - Lucienne

It took a while for Edgar to recover from Janis basically fleeing from him, but it was all the easier now that he’d moved to London and was close to Amelia. The two had barely been in contact since graduation, and while he’d done nothing but smoke weed and discuss heatedly if Camus or Sartre were superior, she’d worked herself up to the top of the Ministry of Magic. He couldn’t be prouder. But as he waited for their very different lifestyles to clash, they only grew closer and closer again.

This process was brusquely interrupted when Edgar met Lucienne. She was an actress from one of the underground Wizarding Theatres he wrote about regularly, and (as he’d written in one of his reviews) she needn’t no spotlight to make her shine. She was a bright firework herself, wherever she went, people turned heads, and Edgar never fully understood what she saw in him, why she picked him.

But it mustn’t have been pity, for she was the one to suggest he move in with her. The fact that their greatest obsession was also their common interest helped. While Edgar joined the Order and had his mind growing clouded with the dangers of this war, Lucienne always managed to remind him of the world’s beauty as well. They could rehearse, discuss and analyse plays for hours and hours without it ever growing boring, and while the city outside grew dark, at least inside their apartment Lucienne’s light illuminated everything brightly.

Age Twenty Three - London

It was in the Fall of his twenty-second year that Edgar witnessed the first death of someone close in the Order. Some even said he’d been the cause for it. It changed something in him. After the funeral he saw Caradoc cry for the first time. Had the two hated each other up until that point, something connected them over the grave of their friend. Edgar brought him home, not to Lucienne, but to Amelia. They told her about the Order and about their loss, and till this day, Edgar is not sure why he chose Amelia to comfort them. Perhaps if he hadn’t, if he’d brought Caradoc to Lucienne (who was, after all, an anti-bloodpurism activist) everything would’ve been different now.

But as it were, he stayed with Amelia for days, perhaps weeks, incapable to face Lucienne again, until, about a month later, she sent him his things. No letter, nothing attached. Just a clear sign: they were over.

This was the only time that he and Amelia shared a flat, and along with the truth of his political endeavours, this truly sealed their relationship with wax. Ever since having been sorted into two different houses at Hogwarts, they’d slowly but surely grown apart, but now it was as though they were in Mexico all over again. They cooked together, went out together, slept together -- that is in the same bed, of course. Sometimes they brought home someone from a pub, but it was never until they fully reached the bedroom that it became apparent for who that person was meant for. Amelia? Edgar? Neither? Both? Either way, the moment the person was gone the next day (or same night -- after all, the Bones twins were quite good at being hostile to unwanted people) they were clinging together again.

It was during this time that Edgar remembered why he’d changed his writing hand from left to right, once upon a time: it was to hold Amelia’s at all times.

Age Twenty-Three to Twenty-Five - Genevieve

(Un)fortunately, there were still moments they had to spend apart, namely at work. And it was during work (visiting a Muggle play on Drury Lane) that Edgar met Genevieve. She was different from anyone he’d ever met. She was of royal blood and knew her manners, spoke of luxuries and her own charities with ease, while at the same time showing no sign of vanity or arrogance. She loved theatre and due to being a Muggle, knew nothing about the war that was slowly but surely devouring Edgar’s mind.

Edgar realised quickly that if he wanted to keep up with her, he needed to leave Amelia. And so it came that only after about three months of dating, Genevieve bought them an apartment and they moved in together. He was enamored by her every move, every word, every sight. He was incapable of reviewing any plays but romances, began writing terrible poetry himself and -- neglected everyone but her. Had Amelia been the center point of his life only half a year ago, he now barely remembered to reply to her letters, and was the war still raging, he struggled to see its somber colours through his pink glasses.

So it came, that when it turned out that Genevieve was no Muggle at all, but a Muggleborn who’d chosen to live amongst Muggles, something changed. On the one hand, he loved her even more, now capable to show her the House of Bones and introduce her to his family, on the other hand he knew what this meant. And indeed, it didn’t take long until her family was attacked by Death Eaters. The family had once upon a time been closely connected with a family from the Sacred 28, but after the Statue of Secrecy had been established, the ties had been cut. However this didn’t change the fact that the family knew of the Wizarding World, being reminded of it ever so often whenever a new magical child was born.

“My family is in danger and I don’t know what to do.” “Have you heard of the Order of the Phoenix?”

It was the first time Edgar told someone about the Order, other than Amelia. But while Genevieve thought he’d now ask her to join the fight (she was eager to), he told her about this pilot project of theirs, about taking in refugees and helping them to flee.

“You want me to leave?” He wanted to say no, because never had he loved someone as earnestly and deeply as her, but he said “Yes,” and she was too noble and dignified to fight. After all, it really was the smartest decision.

Age Twenty-Six - Tsi

Yes, Tsi from Year Five. What happened in between Genevieve and the heartbreak she caused and Tsi, should be of no mystery anymore: Amelia. They didn’t officially live together this time as she had her own boyfriend, but they still very much spent every waking moment together. Eventually the boyfriend left. Neither of them really acknowledged it. What mattered was that Amelia forgave Edgar for leaving her so suddenly, and he promised to never to it again.

About four months later, Tsi found Edgar. She had barely changed. She was still a fierce and stubborn Slytherin, hungry for power and control, and all too earnest about her urges and desires. So Edgar, still nursing his heartbreak, was willing to submit himself to her demands once more. She was so different from Genevieve it was easy to forget her in Tsi’s commands and willful ideas.

It ended abruptly when Edgar learnt she agreed with Voldemort’s ideas.

Age Twenty-Seven - London Again

Once again heartbroken, Edgar found himself with Amelia again as well. But this time she made him promise to never hurt her again properly.

“No one must come between us again.” “No one will, I promise.”

Amelia was by now an affiliate of the Order and because Edgar was almost certain that the Other Side knew his face and name, he didn’t want to put Amelia in danger by living with her. So he got his own apartment, a little thing in Muggle China Town, and on the nights he doesn’t spend with Amelia or working, he does bring people home. He cannot stand sleeping alone anymore, the silence causing his thoughts to spiral terribly.

So it doesn’t really matter who that warm body is, he’s content as long as he can nestle up to it at night. Sometimes it’s a good friend, drunk, like Fabian, who needs a place to crash, and sometimes it’s a stranger, who Edgar makes sure not to learn anything about, out of fear to fall in love again.

[risingsouls]

Conversations: 4

[Part 4! With a hint of shameful(less?) fanservice because the idea popped into my head and it was amusing because these two give zero fucks. A little less heavy than the last few so there’s that? I dunno we’re moving toward something here.]

Nabooru sank into the near scalding and fragrant bath she drew with an extended sigh, her tense muscles and bruises relenting in the pain they caused. Her body like jelly, she reclined back and rested her head on the lip, eyes closing and arms draped haphazardly over the side. 

She needed this last night when she dragged herself back home, but when her heavy eyes landed on her bed on the way, she failed to convince her legs to carry her further. Her head hit the pillow and she was out, exhaustion superseding the pain of her training session with Vegeta. She admired his willingness to push her, upping the difficulty level when he deemed her ready. But yesterday's spar felt more outright aggressive than a measured rise of difficulty. _She_ didn't particularly _mind_, exactly. He had offered her a proper challenge after all. But her sore body when she woke up cursed his name, and the more she thought about it, she wondered at the cause. It didn't help that she had to put this moment on hold to help Nappa out when a trainer didn't show up. Putting the fighters through their paces wasn't difficult. Painful at times due to her pre-established soreness. The trouble was keeping them focused on something other than her damn body and thinking of ways to ask her out for the millionth time.

She hadn't heard from Vegeta yet, and though that didn't mean much when he wasn't reliable with warning her when he planned to show up, she didn't sense him nearby or on the move. She took advantage of the moment of free time to relax before more training, with or without him. She smoothed the loose strands of hair she missed when she tossed it up into a messy bun on top of her head up to her scalp. She hoped she could enjoy this for a while. Maybe squeeze in a quick nap or some relaxing stretches before forcing herself into more strenuous training…

Gold eyes popped open, a groan leaving her lips as her senses picked up Vegeta’s ki signature barreling in her direction all too soon. She willed him to fly passed, head off into the wastes or further north for training on his own to give her that few hours of spoiling herself, but his power faded right at her doorstep. She winced at the bang of the front door slamming the wall and sank further into the tub, feet hanging over the end. 

“Nabooru!”

Nose scrunched, she shouted back, “I’m in the bathroom!” She muttered a few select Gerudo insults into the bubbles. She wasn’t about to abandon her bath; he could wait for her if he was so desperate as to bust into her house like a maniac to begin their training.

Silence relaxed her tensed muscles once more, content with the idea that he either left in a huff or was waiting as patiently as a man like Vegeta could manage. Just as her eyelids lowered, the crunch of footsteps on the carpet heading in her direction snapped them back open. She glanced to the cracked door after ensuring water and suds had her covered. Surely he wouldn’t just walk in would he?

He would.

Vegeta had never ventured past her living room, but following her voice and the self-explanatory layout of what he had come to expect of an Earth home, he traipsed straight through her bedroom to the master bathroom and kicked the door open none too gently. He returned her glare in kind, unbothered by her state of undress or the activity she wasted her time with. The cloyingly sweet, floral scent of whatever substances she threw into her soak only deepened his scowl.

“You know. Telling you I was in the bathroom wasn’t an invitation.”

He ignored her. “Get out. It’s time to train.”

“First of all, I’m not getting out of this tub with you standing there. You haven’t earned that view yet.” She shifted back to a comfortable position and closed her eyes to reinforce her next point. “Second, I’m finishing my bath, so you can either wait or get lost and I’ll come find you when I’m ready.”

Vegeta snarled, and considered grabbing her by the arm and yanking her out anyway. His patience had already thinned closer to nonexistence than usual with annoyance after annoyance derailing his morning routine. Finding Nabooru less than ready to fight him only further perturbed him, but she hadn’t outright refused. With a grunt, he perched himself on the toilet, arms folded and his face set in an impatient scowl.

Nabooru opened one eye. In her haste and concern with keeping herself covered with his unanticipated trespass of her bathroom, she only just noticed his still torn battle suit and cracked armor, a chunk missing from the right side of his chest. She stretched her legs. “Any reason you didn’t change your armor? Or are you going for a new look?”

“Why do you think?” he growled, leather crunching as his hands curled into fists. "Tch, nevermind. Don't answer that. It's because Bulma has refused to repair any of it since I refused to go to some stupid party with her. She also sabotaged the gravity chamber to try and prevent me from training."

The Gerudo couldn't help but snort, both eyes now open and trained on the perturbed Saiyan. Who knew a lover's spat would have him in such a tizzy. "Seems a little far for a grudge over a party, but I guess I can see why she's mad. She probably wants to spend time with her husband."

"I'm _not_ her husband." 

The vehemence of his insistence made her blink, eyebrows lifted in surprise. "Okay, lover, boyfriend, whatever. My point still stands."

Vegeta swept his fingers through his hair. Why the hell had he brought this up? "Look, she's not any of those things to me either, nor am I to her, got it?"

She understood, but his words conflicted with the information she had picked up from other sources. Turning on her side, she folded her arms on the lip of the tub and rested her chin on them. "Everyone else seems to think you two are married. I'm not dumb enough to assume that having a kid together makes you automatically married, so what's the deal, then? 

"That's exactly it: a deal." One he made without considering the consequences or all the implications and during one of the lowest points of his life. He hadn't really cared as long as he could continue going through the motions of his miserable existence in relatively the same pattern as he had been. But now it seemed Bulma had decided to raise his rent, so to speak, pressing fatherly and spousely expectations more insistently on him despite every outright refusal, typically at the cost of his sanity or one of the comforts he had grown used to. "I agreed to let her call me her husband for the sake of her reputation and to make things easier on Trunks while I got to live and train there. There is no formal marriage between us."

"Ah." While a silly concept of the culture, she knew that many women here were looked down upon for having children out of wedlock, just as those in Hyrule had been. And a woman of Bulma's status would face the scrutiny of far more than just her peers. It was a smart tactic and beneficial to both parties and the child they apparently mistakenly made. But, if what Vegeta said was true, she seemed as though she wanted more from their "marriage" than he was willing to give, hence the friction between them and the resulting refusal to supply him with the niceties she had previously. "What changed then? Do you know?"

The urge to snap again rose to the surface, her line of questioning as pointless as ever in his mind. He switched his crossed legs and, fists releasing, he tapped his fingers on his biceps. He didn't want to meet her gaze, but the only other viable option that didn't make that glaringly obvious was to stare straight forward in the long mirror that spanned most of the wall behind the sink and its counter. At his own disgruntled reflection. The view into the bathtub she wasn't _trying_ to offer him. He grunted and swept a hand over his face as heat filled his cheeks. Did he really think sitting here was going to make her finish up quicker?

"I don't know. How could I possibly know that? I barely talk to her if I can help it." He opted on twisting on the toilet seat a half turn, enough to keep his eyes from the mirror and more easily maintain eye contact should he choose as proper conversational decorum dictated. His fingers paused their tapping as he fully considered the question, his own response. Had it always been that way? Not long ago, he had made himself--quite literally forced himself--to be more available to her and Trunks. To awkwardly wedge himself into the role of father and husband with the convoluted idea that it would make him stronger like he surmised Kakarot's family had for him. A theory he didn't think was totally unfounded but he realized had not and could not work for him. His forcing the act aside, he had to find what worked for _him_ instead of focusing and obsessing over how Kakarot reached new and unfathomable heights of power while he remained in the dust.

"I don't know," he said again, tone gruff but softer this time. "Maybe I did...tch, forget it, you wouldn't understand."

"As you said to me a few weeks ago," Nabooru responded with a raised brow, "try me." She shifted back to her previous position, head reclined and eyes closed. "You've already said this much. Might as well get it out of your system."

Vegeta stared at the bottle with light pink liquid perched on the counter's edge, studying the cluster of flowers printed on the label. That explained the fragrance. "In my pursuit of surpassing Kakarot and his brat despite the clown’s death, I made the foolish assumption that throwing myself into the roles of father and husband and learning to care about the two of them would help me get stronger like I assumed his family helped him. _Perhaps_ that is how she has come to the assumption that I want to play the part she so desperately wants me to." His foot tapped the air again, dark brows lowering. “It’s asinine. I can’t go a single day without her nagging.”

“At least you halfway admitted you brought it upon yourself.” The corner of her lips tugged upward in a smirk in the face of his glare. As much as she wanted to berate him for faking a relationship and leading Bulma on, she knew that he didn’t respond well to lecturing and it would be a moot point. He admitted to understanding he made a mistake, even if the reasoning was more selfish than her concern over Bulma’s feelings, too. He had wasted her time, after all. If a true, fairy tale marriage was really what she wanted and he wasn’t willing to give it and didn’t want to, he should have cut ties so she could seek that out. At the same time, she wasn’t completely blameless; prince though he may be, he did not hide the fact that he didn’t fit the bill of the traditional ones the stories described. And if a deal is what it took to pretend they had it all together, she seemed to have missed a fair amount of red flags signaling he didn't want much more to do with her than benefitted him.

The task of “making it” was easier said than done, that she could contend from both her knowledge of his experience and her own. They both had nothing more than the clothes on their backs when they started their lives here, not a cent to their names to start any kind of life on a planet that relied heavily on currency and its technology for real comfort. She and the Gerudo lived in a cave for months, surviving off the land while they found ways to make enough zeni to start their lives or, as they decided, build their community and stick together. For a while they could only purchase a single capsule house at a time and shared the spaces. Their task was far easier as a group working toward the same goal and helping each other. Vegeta was utterly alone, and she could hardly blame him for taking Bulma up on her offer to house him. As far as their strange deal, she could only conjecture why he wouldn't straight up tell her he wanted nothing to do with it anymore outside of simply being unsure of where to go or how to move forward. Vegeta wasn't one to mince words, after all.

“I don’t know if you’re looking for my help here, but...do_ you care about her?” She trailed her fingers along the lip of the tub. “Or is there some other reason you haven’t told her that participating in things you don’t want to do wasn’t part of the deal necessarily?”

The easy answer was comfort. Complacency in the amenities he had become used to. The difficult answer was that he _had_ amounted an inkling of care for Bulma and Trunks. Not in a romantic capacity for the former as she would like. His interest in her was purely physical and, though she tried to fool herself, he knew the same followed for her, too. She showed no interest in him outside of the rare bedroom meetings, and he very typically showed next to no interest in her life either. They had so little in common from their histories to their interests he didn't see how anyone but him seemed to find the sham of a marriage comical.

She tried to act tough since the tournament in the face of the lives he so callously and selfishly took, looking past the countless murders he committed without an ounce of remorse on his part, likely due to their ability to revive them at the near snap of their fingers. Or perhaps she refused to believe he was in control when he had done it, that Babidi instead had of him fully under his spell and orchestrated the attacks through him. Whatever the case, he had seen fear in her eyes on more than one occasion, when he lashed out or his temper got the better of him. Still, her delusions of him and her desire for the perfect family life made her cling to him.

A part of him wanted to protect Bulma and Trunks, but that's as far as his emotional attachment went.

"Complacency. Ease. Comfort." He left it at that; his omission would serve as answer enough to the inquiry concerning his feelings about Bulma. "I...I just didn't care after the Cell Games. I vowed off fighting for nearly a year before I realized it was all that kept me feeling alive. Had I a fortune to give her, my throne, an empire, I would have handed it over without a second thought or any negotiation. I wanted what was easy, so I returned to the life I had become used to."

She stared at him, eyes once more wide with surprise. After another second, he glanced at her, mirroring her expression and apparently just as shocked at the words that tumbled from his lips. The way he stiffened, she expected him to bolt without little more than a "hurry up" and a slam of the bathroom door behind him. She waited, a minute, maybe two. Partially for his benefit in case he did decide to escape the suddenly heavy weight that settled between them and partly for her own benefit. Pain erupted in her chest like a thin blade dragged downward and her lungs felt squeezed and she struggled to find the words to follow that up. To feel that low and with such pride that normally flooded him...she didn't have to imagine it; she had lived it herself. A warrior like him swearing off fighting...

When he didn't move and he sat so still she thought he might have died sitting on top of her toilet, she swallowed and said, "And now you're thinking a little more clearly. Or as clearly as you can manage." Relief flooded her when his focus snapped back to reality from whatever dimension his soul had escaped to, his lip curling up and sharp canines bared in warning. The soft, too high breath of a laugh she released in response attested to her relief. "You realize now that you want...well, what do you want? To be on your own or something? Do things differently and your own way?"

He grunted. He hated to admit he was lost. Clueless of how to move forward and ambitionless. "I don't know what I want, but it's not what I've got."

Nabooru hummed, tapping her nails on porcelain. She studied him, mulling over the possibilities. Only one suggestion stuck.

"Again, I'm not sure you want my advice but hear me out. I think you need the space to figure that out, you know? Staying where you are, you're only going to feel pressured to continue as you have and push yourself into a box you don't want to be in. That perhaps you don't fit in." When he didn't object to her analysis, his sideways glance urging her to continue, she forged on. 

"That said...you can have the guest room here if you want it. I know it's not as roomy or luxurious as Capsule Corporation, but it's comfortable." A pause; she had to choose her words carefully. To ensure he understood she was not offering charity or trying something underhanded. "You don't even have to tell me if you want it or when you plan to stay. You don't even have to interact with me if you don't want. It's not permanent either. I _like_ my own space after being crammed in with the others until we could afford more housing, so I'd rather it stay temporary. I want to give you a comfortable space to help you figure things out away from what you think you don't want. A few months or so should be fine and then we can go from there."

She caught his grimace and added, "No, I'm not trying to trap you or use this to exploit you later. Outside of a sparring partner and decent company, you have nothing I want." Sinking further into the tub, she folded her arms beneath the bubbles. "Besides, you might decide after a couple months away you miss your old life and want to be a husband and father."

"Hmpt. Doubtful." While she spoke, he watched her closely, searching for deceit, a motive. Her neutral expression revealed little, and his natural inclination toward suspicion waned. Still, he couldn't stop himself from asking, "Why?"

"Why offer this? The short answer is you're going to be a whole lot more effective as a sparring partner if you're not chronically irritated about your home life, and it will probably help your own growth, too." Another impatient grunt was all the response she received and she shrugged a shoulder in return. "Otherwise, It's the same answer as last time: I understand what it's like to be where you were, wanting to give up everything you were and worked toward."

Vegeta opened his mouth to press her, but she cut him off. "I'll explain another time, promise. It's another long story, and I'm getting wrinkly." She lifted her hand from the water and swept it toward the door. "Go on so I can get dressed. I won't take long and we can go have our spar."

"You'd best not." The Saiyan stood and headed for the door. He slowed at the threshold and glanced back at her, hand on the knob. Gratitude hung from his lips but he kept the words lodged in his throat. Instead he offered a simple nod and left, closing the door behind him.