#obsessed with this ask the idea of its playing in my head rent free

[jeonbunnie]

just finished crying my eyes out to love is gone & why do i lowkey want oc to have a major glow up, run into jungkook months later & him realizing he made the biggest mistake of his life like i want him to grovel so bad for her just so he feels a little bit of what she felt … omg 😭

I can totally see it 😌

He runs into you six months later, and the realization hits him like a truck. He fucked up.

You're out with your friends sitting at the bar, looking hot as fuck in tight little number he'd love to peel off you if your were still his. But you're not. And the only person he has to blame for that is him.

And maybe he's had a few drinks, but all he can think about is how pretty you look. Your skin is glowing, and your smile is brighter than he's ever seen, radiant like the sun. Suddenly, it hits him that this smile is not for him. That you'd smile might never be his again, and he's desperate.

He'd do anything to have that kind of sunshine in his life again.

“(Y/n)?”

It's not even a choice to call your name. It just happens. And yeah, maybe he's a little drunk, and if he were sober, he'd have the decency to leave you alone, but he just can't.

One minute, you're locking eyes; the next, he's chasing after you in the crowd, asking you to wait, to just hear me out.

You don't stop for even a second. It's not until you're out of the club and halfway down the street that Jeongguk even manages to catch your jacket and bring you to a pause.

“(Y/n), please. Just wait—"

"What? What do you want, Jeongguk? What could you possibly want with me now?"

Jeongguk wants so much he doesn't know where to start. He tried to apologize, to tell you it was a mistake. He was so, so stupid to think he could ever live without you.

It's been a couple of months since Jeongguk left your bed and walked out of your life. The moment he left your side, he regretted it. And with every step he took away from you, the feeling of dread only got stronger.

He tried to brush it off, tried to reason it out. Things were still fresh; of course, he'd still feel an emotional connection to you. It would pass. Right?

Except it didn't. That empty, hollow, missing feeling didn't go away.

Not when he moved out. Not when he got his own empty, lonely apartment. Not even when Jeongguk tried dating again. Because no one he dated could compare to you.

That ache for you stayed. Always.

He wanted to tell you all of this, but he can't tell by the look on your face that he only has a couple of minutes—hell—seconds before you turn around and leave him behind. This time for good.

So Jeon Jeongguk kneeled, his knees pressing into the hard concrete beneath him. It was gravelly, and he could feel wet spots sink into his jeans from when it rained outside earlier, but he couldn't find it in himself to care about the mess.

All he cared about was you.

Jeongguk begs. "Please. Please give me another chance."

"What? You broke up with me, remember?" You moved to pull away, but Jeongguk held your hand, anything to keep you near.

"It was a mistake. Ending us was a mistake."

"Jeongguk… you're drunk. You won't even mean this in the morning."

"I mean it! I mean it."

I regret it every day." Jeongguk leaned forward, nuzzling his cheek against your thighs. Maybe it's a little pathetic, but he can't help himself; he needs to be close to you in any way he can. "Can't we just start over?"

"Jeongguk…"

Jeongguk looked up at you then, his nose red and his lashes wet with tears. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

He means it; he really does. Jeongguks hasn't been more sorry about anything in his life.

"If you give me another chance, I won't ever let you go again. Say yes. Please?"

Please, please, please?

[gremlingottoosilly]

Just a Brotherhood!Konig Thot👀. Knight!Konig loves in my head rent free🥰

Imagine with me- Knight!Konig who has a cute little scribe who's so eager to please her Lord Knight that she'd do just about anything he asked of her-even if that meant walking into a cave full of radiation, she'd do it for him! Tiny Scribe!reader who doesn't mind lugging around that massive backpack of supplies, honest My Lord it's nothing!

I can totally imagine Knight! Konig being so full of himself, especially after Scribe!reader proves their undying loyalty? Oh yeah, big ego boost for this giant anxious man 😊😏. Eventually I imagine a romance that is bordering obsession on both their parts😅😂.

In the game, Paladins of the Brotherhood usually got a whole team of different scribes and helpers since Wsteland is not a joke. Imagine being one of many - a bit of a tech nerd, always eager to get yet another toster for the glory of the brotherhood. Scribing your sully techs on the silly notepad you snatched from an abandoned building. Konig cals you a radracoon, stealing everything that comes your way. Konig says it's a given, since you're from the Wastelands - Brotherhood picked you up like a lost puppy on the way from a bloody mission. Konig wasn't a paladin yet, only a handful of years older than you - but you're with him now. Young and naive, eager to please. Konig wonders what you would do if he asked you to suck his cock. Would probably get on your knees like a good girl. Maybe you'd oil his armor too. Maybe you'd like to fuck him while he is still halfway in the armor. A testament to his strength. Brotherhood is all about breeding numbers from the top, so you know Konig will have to have children some day. He has no idea what courting is - you don't know either - so he just brings you extra lunch. Some pieces of less radiated meals. Smashes a cake stand with his power fist and gets you a desert with only moderate amount of mold. Gets hard at the sight of your shining bright eyes and has to curse under his breath - armor wasn't built for the wearers to have huge boners because their servants are too fucking adorable.

Konig knows he deserves someone stronger - he has other people, actually, tending to his needs and watching his back. Team is a small task force, with a few knights always stationed nearby - Brotherhood doesn't want to love its glorified paladin toy. You're here for the stress relief, like a shining puppy of justice and poor life decisions. You idolize Konig - not the Brotherhood. It's a mistake, a huge one. A fucking liability. Konig smiles and squeezes your cheeks. Plays with your hair. Metal hand tangling in the dirty strands. You are taking care of his supplies, of his food, of cleaning his armor. When he comes to you at night, allowing you to take the first shift, you aren't even surprised when he points at his cock. Aching and ready to burst - your hands aren't soft when they slip around it, trying to understand how to make them feel better, but Konig appreciates the pain. Gets a hand in your hair, still giant even out of armor. Tells you to be rougher, not to treat him like a little bitch. You obey, as tender as you are. Maybe fascinated a little. Brotherhood doesn't do marriages, but Konig already knows who he will choose to breed with.

[digenerate-trash]

More head cannons that I have but for non-love interests. mostly teachers and Bailey and Harper. 

Bailey used to be a normal person who cared if the orphans got hurt but over time in order to keep the younger kids safe from the town he needed to start charging the older ones rent to keep this rinky-dink shack above water eventually it became too much for him to care about every victim he sent out onto the street to make rent so he stopped. Either by dissociation or worse. now he's just a heartless asshole who protects only the kids in the youth ward and even that is hard for him to do. The road to hell is paved with good intentions after all. 

Harper is afraid of blood. Straight up. He’ll faint if he catches sight of it that's why he prefers needles and brainwashing no blood is involved if you do it right. He's giving some real “I never got my doctorate” energy and I don't think this town cares because he's the best they have. He's definitely jacked off over an unaware patient. Has a kink for making patients cum hands-free (it's a power thing). Almost agreed to work for Remmy for free because he got too excited about brainwashing people into mindless cow hybrids. moral compass? Whos she? 

Leighton is such a fucking freak of nature. Would not be surprised if he went from teacher’s aid to head teacher solely through blackmail and other underhanded means this dud has always been a straight-up freak. Like Kylar but instead of being obsessed with one person, his passion is corrupting innocent people and once he's done and he's gotten off it's off to the next unsuspecting victim. This dude probably doesn’t know how to use a modern cellphone though so thank god for that. 

Sirris. Mommy? sorry. Mommy? sorry. I mean Mommy? Sorry. For real though giving milf energy. Probably really loved her dead husband to the point where she's not getting married again. (which is the real crime) but deeply cares for her kid, and even though she has no idea the extent of  Leighton’s abuse she has threatened to kill him and go to church the next day if he even breathes near her kid. Owns a sex shop purely to exploit this town's obvious sex addiction issue and is probably saving for Sydney's future as well. The only good parent I’ve seen in this game.  

River is a virgin for life. my man has never seen a pussy and is physically afraid of it. (same goes for cock but a little bit less so) has an avid believer of the church's teachings and he has a kind of friendship with Sydney but refuses to give them any special treatment because it wouldn't be fair (although Sydney is his favorite). Prob wear’s a chastity belt since he was 18 and has absolutely refused to take it off its like a security blanket now. No one is getting their filthy hands on this dick.

Doren is one of those freaks who has crushes on his students and sees nothing wrong with it, he cares about them and wants the best for his students but the power dynamic is hard to ignore for his students and even though he wants to be kind and a friend to all of them most students will avoid getting too friendly with him. He does his best to protect the students he likes best giving them snacks at lunch being extra patient with them during lessons helping them out or bumping up their grades just because they asked but if you’re a nuisance he lets you fall by the wayside because his love and care are conditional. 

Winter is heavy into costumes and BDSM but that's not a surprise super into weird sexual history and also has a huge denial/edging kink. Surprisingly the teacher she gets along best with is River. They hang out in the teacher's lounge and bitch about students. Leighton has absolutely harassed her for information on her students like which ones squirm during her unorthodox lessons but she refuses to play into his antics. When she's working at the museum she is the most content. It's her real passion but it doesn't pay the bills. Probably got hired because Leighton thought she would be an easy mark but it turns out she's a total dom and now he's afraid to fire her. 

Mason is the guy Dorent wishes he was. Students are always trying to feel him up during lesions and asking if he's single. But he really just wants to be left alone. At one point he was good enough to be on a national swim team but for one reason or another, his life fell apart and now he's burnt out and living in the worst town in Britain at the ripe age of 25. The dude probably wouldn't hurt a fly unless he had to and even then he would be crying for a week afterward. Bottom energy.

[leynaeithnea]

Me ? Taking notes again to write this ask? You guessed it.

The ocean saga is 100% my favourite saga so I'm going to be insane about this actually.

12.Aeolus is literally perfect I'm obsessed with her and her little banter with Ody " let's play a game/ a game? / That's what I'm serving " YES MA'AM YOU ARE CERTAINLY SERVING. Again at this point we agree on everything because the part where Odysseus tries to stay awake has kept me awake for days , he is so pathetic he's hallucinating his family and he loves them so much and everything has changed BUT HE'S THE SAME YES HE'S THE SAAAME ( instant tears)

" They were within sight, his mom could have seen the ship" fatal blow , currently chocking on my blood and my tears.

Also yes , Poseidon's voice is majestic, after ruthlessness came out I was singing it so much my brother and sister had memorized it ( they don't even know English lol )

13.The chorus of po-sei-don is glorious and I sing it every single time very drammatically 'cause HOW COULD I NOT??? Again, agree with everything you said, this whole entire song makes me feral, Poseidon is so bitchy and mean and pissed and sarcastic I ADORE IT and whenever I sing it I make Ody's little "No" so defeated and terrified and "we're so fucked " because they so areeeee

You are the worst kind of good- moment lives in my mind rent free I also did some lettering for it because I HAD to get it out of my head somehow ( I failed , it's stuck on repeat in my brain )

" But noOoOo" is so iconic I can't put it into words I love Poseidon jansnsnns

First time I listened to ruthlessness the callback to just a man brought me to my knees Jorge is a criminal how does he get away with causing such pain to me specifically ??? We'll never know

Aaaand the callback to the convo with Polyphemus " I am your darkest moment " FLOORS ME EVERY TIME SIR WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOUR ACTIONS HAVE CONSEQUENCES THAT HAUNT YOU IN THE FORM OF THE GOD OF THE SEA , WHAT DO YOU MEAN MERCY HAS A PRICE ( this whole thing about "you could have avoided all this had you just killed my son" brings me back to hours spent studying the Iliad for school and learning that in those books the idea was that you had to die a glorious death if you wanted to be remembered and live forever with honor in the stories that will be told about you. Being spared in combat and living after that is not living at all, becase you're now a disgrace and everyone will know you failed to be a hero ) ( but I don't know if this whole "moral code" applies to monsters like Polyphemus) ( living with the shame that some random puny Greeks overtook you must generally suck either way though)

also the part where Ody's desperately bargaining "Poseidon we meant to harm we only hurt him to disarm him PLEASE PLEASE UNDERSTAND please we took no pleasure in his pain we are at your mercy right now we can't do anything this is all up to you I can't do anything else for my crew other than try to make you understand we only wanted to escape PLEASE we are in your domain now we can't escape the literal sea PLEASE SHOW US THE MERCY WE SHOWED YOUR SON" and this whole part is quieter and gentler than the rest of the song,it's a plea, a small little desperate string of hope that maybe he'll understand, then a beat of silence and then DIE YOU'RE NAIVE AND HOPELESS DIE AKKSKDJSNNS

I may have gone a little insane with this one lol

As always no pressure but I eagerly await your take on the other sagas :))

( love for you and your friend that you acted out the whole musical , it seems neat and I think it would fix me hahah )

HEYO man theres one artwork of "im the same yes im the same" that im obssessed with, its sooo good

the idea was that you had to die a glorious death if you wanted to be remembered

All the men who died drowning + elpenor ------- :) :) :) yw

Despite it being an unpopular opinion Circe might actually be my least favorite saga so far,....probably because they werent as angsty as any of the other so far......i think theres a pattern here....anyway, its still GREAT so lets start 14. Puppeteer ODY REFUSING TO LISTEN TO EURY, I WONDER??? maybe he guesses???? MAYBE HE KNOWS? that it was Eury who opened the bag but he isn't ready to hear it yet???? the instrumentals in that is soo good tho, ALSO "a woman" "....what"

circes voice do be beautiful

and the storytelling of eury recalling the story while circes part is kind of a flashback like, is reallyyy nice

Also Ody being straight up ready to save his men help, that's only 8 songs or so before Syclla :")

15. Wouldn't you like

I knowwww why people are so hype about it, but admittedly it doesn't hit that hard for me. it's a good song! just not my favorites

but "someone who's not afraid to...send a message" is a sneaky way to make it obv who it is, very "high on shrooms" feels, and Odysseus singing the "OooooOoooOOOooOooH"s towards the end are reallyyy goodddd and the "dont thank me you very well may die"....perfect characterization of hermes, loved 16. Done For

Ody trying to sneak his way in like "did you do smth to them?" (knows 100% that she did) "you turned them into pigs" ODY YOURE SUCH A SLEEK---- SO OKAY WE ACTED THIS OUT RIGHT? WITH MY FRIEND? HAVING MY FRIEND BE CIRCE PLS??? OMG ....attractive mayhaps ody trying to lie about being a god "hermes gave it do you, didnt he?" ".....fine, yes, but- " ODY SIEGSE ~love lying characters, like, Neil, Ody, yeah...yeah Also circe going right into lust and Ody being like "??? wdym" (think sabout penelope) 17. There are other ways "BUuT itS been 12 LonG yeEArs" JORGE JORGE__--SLEGOSEJG lmaoosegseigjseg jk beautiful falcetto (high voice) of Jorge very seductive song, beautiful the reprise of just a man again.....but he refuses! good on you ody, bc otherwise you wouldve been dead, also THE DROP when Circe talks about the Underworld, esp with the distorted choir so cool, theres some animatics that portrayed those really neat too, might ramble about the animatics some other time also Circes last note(s) in the song are SO GOOODDDDD such vocal control

[i-like-yoongi-a-latte]

The year is coming to its end so it's time for my silly little love letter post 💕 I hope this year has been good for you, or if it wasn't, I'm sending hugs bc same, but hey we made it through! I hope next year brings you kindness, good energy, rest and overall happiness 🥰

Happy New Year lovelies!!

These are not in any order, you're all very important to my tumblr experience <3

♥ @taetaestykookie Marrissa my new bestie to yell about BTS with!!! I love following your bias crisis and making your friends/family members become fans! Even though you live far away and timezones suck I'm so happy to be able to randomly send you stuff in like three different apps all about the same thing... I wish cute Tata/Cooky stuff finds their way to you! Thank you for being my friend, I appreciate you 💝

♥ @washyourdamnhands Kinga, the person who's like a warm comforting hug! Always sending me nice videos and making me smile, I adore you 💕

♥ @asgh0sts Danny, I loooove seeing Exo on my dash and that's because of you, also seeing old Shinee photos makes me cry (but in a good way you know). You also gave me good advice once and I felt so happy!! I've also been thinking about Valentine's Day cards already, and I've been meaning to ask you if you want to receive one from me, so let's say this acts like a question for you and a reminder for me hehe. Thank you for being my friend!! 🧡

♥ @danhalen A person who makes me smile, Reny! The thought of you makes me warm and giggly, I really love to send cards to you (I hope the card that's on its way comes home to you safely!!) and I really appreciate you for being my friend!! 💘

♥ @sepastian-ahoey the Sepe to my Teukka, or should I say a demon for making me get new interests.......... I'm feeling like I'll be following the F1 more next year... We also have a Max document date already planned so I'm waiting for that!!! Thank you for being my friend and tolerating all the rants about kpop that you don't know anything about but still kinda do, I promise to listen to your rants in the future too 💞

♥ @firefighter-diaz oh the broken blorbos.... The reason why I listened to Taylor's new album is this person right here!!!! Also I adore you, sending me postcards from cool places and all 🥺 also helping me with my silly questions and making me feel happier and also making me feel like my jokes are funny! remember hun, coaches don't play!! and!!! I will always listen if you have something on your mind ❣️

♥ @chanstopher Dreamy!! The reason I became even more obsessed with Chris's nose!!! As a nose enthusiast™ this was very nice. I could probably write essays about your talents, but like even if we don't talk much here, I really really really appreciate you. You're so kind and lovely, your art is amazing, you make gifs super fast and they're so pretty every time, and when you show the original coloring vs yours I'm always like h o w. Also I'm still giggling about your kind comment to my Leebit <3333 annnd I love to read your little posts about Chan's room when I can't watch it myself! and I also remember saying I'd show you my paintings but I haven't painted - I drew a horse though - but I'll try to remember it when I paint hehe. I wish all the best for you, may Chris bless us you with cute selfies that show his adorable nose 🥰

♥ @ambivartence Siyuan, the lovely person with who I can have fun ask game answers with! How do I even start. Every time I see your art I smile along the wiggly lines, I try to find little hearts and when I do I feel so warm!! Your art is so warm, I can't explain. Also your Seonghwa and Hongjoong live rent-free in my head, and it's also one reason I should get into Ateez more! You're so kind and lovely and I love to read your tags on posts!! I adore you 💝

♥ next I wanna say thanks to the gc, @fangirlinglikealoon & @heiskasmiro, you make me smile so much you have no idea!! No matter what app we're using to communicate, it always feels so nice to see your names appear in my notifications! I appreciate you so much, just know that 💘💘

annnnd here are some other lovely people that make me smile just by seeing their urls <33

♥ @reedskz ♥ @suklaakuppikakku ♥ @trashkingdom ♥ @joel-farabee ♥ @juhollamago ♥ @diazactually ♥ @yjbg ♥ @finnishhockeyelf ♥ @lily-blue-blue-lily ♥ @bortuzzzzin ♥ @thewestishharpooners ♥ @thosedaysthatwill ��

[lunathequeerscientist]

when you get this ask you have to answer with 5 of ur fav songs and then send this ask to 10 of ur favourite followers :) (no pressure <3)

Ooooooooooh YES an opportunity to open THE ABSOLUTE FLOODGATES of my music preferences! Hmmmmhmhmm heheheheee *rubs hands together maliciously

Okay, so:

1.

AAEERREEEEREEEEEREEE YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH I LOVE SHELTER (by Porter Robinson & Madeon)

(I’m so sorry I don’t know who this picture’s original artist is, I just found it on google, who ever it was, you are AMAZING ✨)

THE MUSIC VIDEO is just BY GOSH SO GOOD! It’s literally better than most movies I’ve watched. The story, the art, the colours… and the story! DID I MENTION THE STORY!!! AEIIIAJDJFNSNJ okay I won’t spoil it but I’ll have to literally bite my nails clean off gooo shoooo before I explodeeeee… oh… Oh… HERE IT COMES TAKE COV-

2.

Anyways, moving on

My next favourite… ooooh see this ones interesting because there are a bunch of songs here, it’s kind of like, you know when you have multiple favourites and you can’t really choose except I already have a favourite but that’s only because that favourite is relatively more favourite than my other favourites thanks to it’s possession of a feature or features that favourites it out of my other favourites… ish? Yeah? Yeah… ? *hopeful stare

Oki let me try again: i likey many song :D

This spot gets awarded tooooo.... a nightcore remix of Wake me up when September ends, uploaded by Syrex (unfortunately I cant seem to find the original video I usually listen to, the cover art on this is sliiiiightly too graphic for my liking (dw its not explicit or anything) but the original was perfect!)

This was one of my first nightcore songs, and something about it just felt so… magical 🌈 and 🌟mystical🌟… like a sort of window into another dimension? I still come back to it as my comfort song, kind of like a sonical blorbo…. A blorbo song? A slorbo? Yeeeaaah!

In a similar position but possibly not to the same extent are other nightcore remix songs like Drivers License (also uploaded by Syrex) and Fly me to the moon(also Syrex) and some others

3.

Now I do indeed enjoy a spot of classical music (mainly rather popular songs though) and what else do I say than frikin Tchaikovsky’s Piano Concerto No. 1.

Oh ajsjdbdk do I love Tchaikovsky! “Canons are not instruments!” Tchaikovsky: *slow evil grin* “Your gonna love this” *starts 1812 Overture -need I say more

✨Tchaikovsky brain rot Tchaikovsky brain rot Tchaikovsky brain rot Tchaikovsky brain rot Tchaikovsky brain rot Tchaikovsky brain rot Tchaikov✨

Okay I lied actually I do enjoy more than a spot of it, I listen to it classical music sometimes obsessively, all the way from grand masterpieces while looking through my homework as a cunning super villain surveys their chaos to frilly piano pieces. Oooh speaking of, Un Sospiro by Franz Liszt, that is by far one of my favourite piano pieces… maybe close to Piano Conerto no 1 in terms of favouriteness? Maybeeee?

4.

I do also love some pop and dancey and songs. I think One Last Time by Ariana Grande definitely sticks on this list and is one of my all time favourites. The music video is amazing too! There also others like Solo Dance by Martin Jensen, Style by Taylor Swift (oooh another of my favourite artists btw) Don’t lose my number by Phil Collins and Heaven (DJ Sammy and Yanou)

5.

I (mostly) love my YouTube recommendations, and most of the time its cute (and very VERY impressive) animatics galore, and some of the music I’ve heard on them just sticks with me and lives rent free in my head. The one on this list has to be Sincerely, Me (from this animatic). Now I don’t know much about the song out of the context of this animatic, however rumour has it that it is rather twisted (again, I have actually no idea where it’s from, I never followed it up) but it’s so insanely catchy I find myself head-playing it on repeat and listen to it to scratch that very specific itch… the animation is absolutely 🌟amazing🌟 too in that video, and I keep coming back! Also I’d like to show you Think U Know by Ikson, found in this animatic by none other than cudlil :P I love her channel, and all the music she uses!

So there you go! Now I know it may seem a bit like a genre rank, but I assure you it’s not. It’s not, it’s not not ntotntotntotn noooooo

It’s just that I sort of categorise songs by the way they make me feel, and most of the time the ones listed from 2-5 can be interchanged (meaning I like them all equally)

Oooh oooh! And ofcourse, Thank you so much for the ask! 🌈🌟

[jeanmoreaux]

Hi, I just wanted to stop by and thank you because some of your posts made me listen to hozier and now I am in love. So thank you very much<3 (this is slightly random but have you ever read something that gave you ~hozier vibes~ I feel like a (poetry) book from him would solve all my problems, but alas I have to chase books by others that might have a similar vibe) ((also: I might go see him on his european tour with the girl I have a crush on!))

you have no idea how happy this ask made me. i am so so happy i had a hand in you discovering one of my personal favourite artists. if i accomplish nothing else in life, at least i did introduce you to hozier! i’ll attend one of his european shows too and i am beyond excited (not with a date tho 😭)!!! so happy you might go to one of his shows with your crush!! i’m SO JEALOUS like that’s the ideal date night idea!!!! did you get tickets yet?

you’re definitely not the only one desperate for a book/poetry collection by him, jo and i have been unsuccessfully manifesting it for AGES. as for book/poetry recs…. it’s quite hard tbh. i don’t think i have read anything that captures the exact same vibe. mary oliver does have poetry that really plays into the nature symbolism and a lot of anne carson’s stuff does have that desperate/consuming/toxic love element (e.g. her verse novel autobiography of red). i also think ocean vuong’s poetry is bursting with emotions, and his novel on earth we’re briefly gorgeous is a lyrical masterpiece (it deals more with the immigrant experience in america and family dynamics though). deathless by catherynne m. valente is beautifully written and does echo some darker notions of love in its story (it’s very much about the vibes). this is how you lose the time war is also very lyrical with a touching love story that reaches through space and time. i just reread it and it was even better on a reread. ((if you’re into (mature) YA with whimsical writing/nature theme/magical elements/people obsessing over each other i can recommend you maggie stiefvater’s the raven cycle series. it lives in my head rent-free.)) but yeah all these are just approximations of some aspects of hozier’s music/songwriting….

that’s everything i could think of just now, but if anyone has other recs or associations to add pls be my guest!!!

[tev-the-random]

HI @tamblerdraws WELCOME TO THE INSANITY CLUB, THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE

There's no way out

Right?? I grew up without many videogames, so I never got to experience the hype of most of these games first-hand back when they came out. But this is like! A mini remaster of a few of them! And it's so beautiful and crafted with so much love! It feels like such a precious gift.

DUDE, DON'T GET ME STARTED! My first ever Sonic game was 06, this guy has been living in my head rent free for over a decade, and now other people get to obsess with him too?? FUCK YEAH??? He's so silly and evil, I really want him to exist–

Not to go on a wild Sonic 06 tangent, but I really do think it would be the game ever if it got remade with actual time and care put into it. I don't think that will ever happen, it's a very dangerous terrain. But in some universe out there, the story gets the appreciation it deserves. Just the fact that there's a small portion dedicated to it in Shadow Generations already vindicates me.

The hub world and the collectables are such a fantastic idea! They aren't completely pointless, as they offer some incredible content, but you don't actually need to pick up ALL of them to unlock something. The branching level design makes for some fun exploration while trying to find the keys, the different kinds of keys makes it easier to know what exactly you're still missing, and the open hub world, with all its tricks and nooks, offer even more exploring to find the chests! The replayability of this game is fantastic and the collectables are the best goddamn snacks a fan could ask for.

YES! YES YES YES! I'm holding these characters so dearly, I missed the good characterisation! Interactions!

We finally get to see more of Maria as a character. She is so precious! And protective! And enthusiastic! Shadow really gets the best sisters. And Gerald as well, I don't think we've ever properly seen him before the whole ARK incident, so his personality has always been a bit of a mystery. It's Shadow's family, man. I love them.

Though this isn't my favourite Rouge voice ever, I still think they manage to strike the balance between sassy and serious pretty well! ALSO ROUGE OFFERING TO TALK TO HIM AFTER THE WHOLE THING IS OVER IF HE NEEDS HER! Her and Omega talking about each other and about Shadow! TEAM DARK MY BELOVED, YOU'RE FINALLY BACK FROM THE WAR-

YES! So many little references (the rival fight cracked me, with both that dialogue from SA2 and that one line from Heroes. Chef's kiss, very fun). Not gonna lie, I thought it was going to be an actual battle, but the cutscene is so well animated, I can't even complain.

AND THE FAKE EMERALD WAS SUCH A GENIUS MOVE! Not only is it a great callback, but it actually plays an important part in connecting the story to the original Generations?? We love to see it. And I mean, we never do find out what happened to that emerald after SA2, so it's fair enough that it would still be on the ARK. Just one of those things I never really stopped to think about, you know?

This game is everything I've ever wanted. The timeline is finally healing. Thank you for engaging with me to talk about it.

I've been biting my desk and scratching my walls over Shadow Generations and NOBODY is crazy enough about it to want to engage with me at this point. Somebody talk to me about it. Tell me your thoughts. Say hi. Rant to me. Please. I am insane.

[discet]

Since we're bringing up potential cartoon crossovers, how about if the Calamity trio ended up in the Avatar The Last Airbender world, maybe Anne with Aang, Sokka, and Katarra, Sasha with Zuko and Iroh, and Marcy with Suki and the Kyoshi warriors (if you have better ideas on where the girls end up with, you can change them up)?

So if I was going to do an crossover AU I, personally, would not go for an isekai angle. Avatar, like the Star Wars AU I was asked about a while back, would be one I would want to have the characters to be born into the setting naturally instead of being dropped into it.

Mostly because I don't know how much their entering into the plot of ATLA itself would change things. Avatar already has a chosen one character in Aang. While Marcy might be all for a big heroic adventure, Anne and Sasha would be less inclined.

If I was going to set them all up I actually would probably set them up in the time period of Legend of Korra. Cause man what a fun setting and a mixed bag of concepts.

For this AU Anne Sasha and Marcy all grew up in republic city together.

Girls, Before Timeskip

Anne: Gonna buck convention here, Anne's family is from the fire nation, specifically the outer archipelago around the Ember Isles. As to why, its cause ATLA's designers took a lot of inspiration from thai culture for the architecture and fashion on the island. The next incarnation of the Avatar, as her family has roots in some of the water benders who had been captured and brought back as prisoners to the fire nation (like Hana). Does not realize she's a bender at all until she is 12, extremely late bloomer. Discovers she's actually the Avatar on her 13th birthday when she peforms airbending on accident.

Sasha: Comes from an old established colonial family that helped establish Republic City back when it was a fire nation colony. Ethnically I think she'd be half Fire Nation half Earth Kingdom, mostly because this comic about Sasha being Wasian lives rent free in my head since I saw it months ago. She'd probably be a brunette since I don't think blonde hair would be a... thing in Avatar world I think I would make her an earth bender of a fire bender. Mostly cause I like how it would play into her role as the defender of the group and also so she can pick up lava bending in later seasons. Sasha as the only bender for most of their life was also the group protector on the rough and tumble streets of Republic City. Idolized Toph as just a top tier ass kicker.

Marcy: Comes from a family who immigrated to Republic City from Ba Sing Se around the time it became republic city. The only truely nonbender of the group, Marcy spent child hood always a little envious of Sasha. This only grew worse when it turned out Anne was also a bender and Marcy started to feel like the odd one out. Marcy is absolutely obsessed with the technological advances being made in the city. Once Anne is recognized as the Avatar, Marcy throws herself more ardently into her studies of engineering

Plot: So at the start we get a similar set up as canon. Sasha see's herself as the protector and boss of the trio who, even after Anne has had a year with her water bending. On Anne's birthday, Sasha convinces Anne and Marcy to break into the construction site. Things are going alright until some cops show up. Sasha calls for them to run, but Marcy being her clumsy self ends up almost falling off a girder. Anne narrowly manages to pull Marcy back, but at the cost of her own balance and falls. Sasha tries to do something, but there isn't much earth to work with and she doesn't know how to metal bend. Anne in full view of these cops and some onlookers shoots out a jet of air from her hand to save herself.

Anne is made an instant celebrity. Republic cities first Avatar! The people of the water tribes are resentful since culturally Anne is fire nation and one of them were expected to have the next avatar. Anne is stressed and would do anything to put this genie back in the bottle. She didn't want to be the avatar. That was a lot of responsibility! She wasn't even a good bender!

Sasha has a bit of an identity crisis and Marcy is excited for Anne but also nervous that her friends are going to leave her behind.

The white lotus + Tenzin approaches Bee and Oum, insisting Anne be taken into hiding until they can train her. They are hesitant as Anne is already overwhelmed by all the changes and expectations placed on her. However, when a red lotus attack almost kills their daughter they accept.

So in an interesting twist for Amphibia Fanfic, it's Anne who is moving away for a while. Sasha and Marcy both beg the White Lotus members to let them come and keep Anne company but are refused. Sasha argues they should at least take her because she's a talented earth bender and could be a sparing partner for Anne. This argument also doesn't work but does deeply hurt Marcy, since if it had worked it would leave her alone in Republic City.

So Anne is taken away, tearful goodbyes and promises of letters.

Girls During Timeskip

Anne: Anne is deeply resentful of her position of the Avatar and the expectations set upon her shoulders by the world and white lotus. She gets passively adequate at all 4 elements but isn't particularly talented in either. However, in theming with her position as the heart in Amphibia, she does seem to have an extremely natural talent for dealing with spirits which will pay dividends over the course of the series. Anne stays in close contact with Sasha for the entire time skip. However, after something terrible happens to Marcy, and Anne fails to sneak out to go see her, Anne sends letter after letter sending her sympathies and apologizing for being unable to come, but never gets any letters backand so loses contact with Marcy. Though she's determined to rebuild that connection upon her return.

Sasha: After Anne left Sasha fully threw herself into practicing bending, wanting to turn herself into a pillar Anne could rely on once her adventures as an Avatar truly begin. In the process however she kind of turned her back on Marcy. Without Anne as the glue of their relationship, Sasha starts to see Marcy as a social anchor around her ankle as she tries to put together a 'squad' strong enough to support Anne. However she secretly comes to regret this, as without Anne or Marcy be her side, Sasha's only 'friends' are those who are obsessed with their image and reputation, so she no longer has a refuge where she can just act herself. Way too proud to try and make up with Marcy, especially after the incident.

Marcy: A bit lonelier and overworked, Marcy is a prodigious inventor that was scouted by Sato corp right out of school. Once Sasha distanced herself, Marcy threw herself into her studies not making many connections with others. 3 years after Anne leaves Marcy has the incident. Some bending bullies from the girls past who grew into members of the triad. They try to corner Marcy one night when she was alone and without friends. Marcy runs but ends up in an accident and loses her arm as a result. Marcy writes Anne a tear stained letter, begging her to visit cause she feels hurt and alone. We learn that Anne tried to sneak out back then but was caught. Anne wrote back apologizing and promising she did everything she could, but the white lotus intercept the letter and it never gets to Marcy and vice versa. Leaving Marcy to believe she's been abandoned by both of her friends

Story Start

As Anne's 18th birthday rolls around Anne is officially done with life in the compound and enlists the help of dozens of spirits to help her break out this time. They sow chaos and give Anne the time she needs to get to a village and book passage to her home in Republic City. Anne first seeks out Sasha, since they still have an active connection and knows Sasha has a championship match coming up. Sasha is of course super happy to reunite with her and introduce her to her Probending Team. I don’t have a lot of details for these two but they are both pretty insufferable as people. They clearly see Anne as a way for them to boost their reputations. 

After a night with them Anne asks Sasha if she knows where Marcy is so that she can visit. Sasha is reticent, clearly ashamed of how she left things with Marcy, and encourages Anne to move on. Maybe even tries the ‘end of discussion’ move. However in this AU Anne has spent the last half decade being told what to do by every adult in her life, so she’s not going to just meekly ascent to Sasha’s command and seeks out Marcy anyways. 

She eventually finds Marcy still living in all of their old neighborhood, and just teary eyes sprints to her and pulls her into a big bear hug. Marcy is shocked, both that Anne is there and cares about her. They talk through the misunderstanding pretty quick and reform their connection and spend the night catching up. Marcy proudly shows Anne the steampunk as hell prosthetic arm she developed for herself and talks about her job at Sato Corp. Anne confides in Marcy about her insecurities and resentment about being the Avatar. Marcy becomes the first person in five years to agree with her that it is an unfair burdan she has been saddled with, rather than insist that its one she needs to take up anyways. Which is in retrospect will make a lot of sense when part way through season 1 its revealed that Marcy is an equalist and is the one developing their weapons for Mr. Sato. 

So I think that pretty much sets the stage. Giving Anne a friend who both represent flawed ideas of the equalist conflict. Sasha having fully embracing the status quo of ‘Benders are superior and should be treated as such’. And Marcy representing the sympathetic but flawed ‘Some benders abuse their power so all benders must be neutralized for society to progress’. 

and maybe I’ll flesh it out more later but the scene that I think is really cool is when Marcy is revealed as an equalist. Cause Marcy isn’t working against Anne in this AU. Or using their bond to betray her. She eventually tells the truth on her own and tries to get Anne to join her. Insisting that Anne is right, it isn’t fair that everyone has these expectations of her. She shouldn’t have to be the avatar if she doesn’t want to be. And wouldn’t she like to go back to the way things were before all this happened when they were on even footing with each other. 

Which is a really juicy dilemma for Anne to chew on. Cause she’s not a great bender and she doesn’t want this job. 

[bethsuglywigs]

top 5 tropes

1. Canon Divergence 

Cross Your Fingers, Be It Fahrenheit or Centigrade, and Warm in the Fire of Us by @pynkhues

I don’t think I need to sell anyone on Sophie’s work because it’s well established that she provides high quality content. fortunately for me, she also likes the same tropes as me so i stay well fed. 

CYF: a post-s2 fic dripping with angst and criminal activity. the scene where rio interrupts beth’s date lives rent free in my head. 

BIFOC: set during s2, rio is sick 😷 and beth plays nurse 👩‍⚕️ ... god tier scenario 

WITFOU: set during s3 (aka brio’s angst era) lets just say... clean like him changed me on a spiritual level  (inspired the forbid blow job 👀)

a song inside the halls of the dark by @mego42

this fic as everything: a road trip, beth committing murder, crafts, several near death experiences, brio sexily not communicating, find my friends, AND pta moms interacting with brio... like what more could you ask for in a sprawling post-s2 fic? a must read imo 

Good Sport by fireinsideforfun

i know you’re all ARC stans so I don’t need to tell you that fiff is a good writer. but what I am hear to say is that Good Sport is a slept on fic (pun intended). brio bed sharing and not communicating my beloved. 

for a moment we were strangers by openhearts

this is fic is iconic for fully embracing beth and rio’s age gap (41 v. 29)... openhearts said cougar rights. but also this fic is a fun little brio playing house fic and i just can’t get enough of it 

I Put A Spell On You (and now you're mine) by @sdktrs12

um hellooooooooooo halloween 🎃 prompts my beloved. 

2. Hate Sex

your monster looks like mine by mego42

this fic is about having hate sex on drugs..... das it baby 🥵

satisfied through the weekend by @septiembrre

the show gave us brio having sex while beth is on a date with her husband (iconic, revolutionary, etc), but Gaby one-upped them and gave use up brio having sex while beth is on a date with the hitman she hired to murder rio... i have to stan 

As Good As This by @riosnecktattoo

wire sex - i simply love betrayal 

Two Shoes by pynkhues

all you need to know about this fic is that brio do a job together that requires them to dance and then hide in a closet together (sexily)... the animosity and sexual tension is off the charts

I Will Collect You and Capture You by @foxmagpie

oKaY..... these clowns 🤡 are really at their worst in this fic. like please have a conversation im begging you (jk keep hate fucking and being angsty). rio fr thinks he can fuck beth out of his system, but all he can do is think about her when he’s with other women. literally down so bad in this one. 

3. Outsider POV/Interactions

Three Drops (an intermission) and If It Wasn't for All the Lights by pynkhues

these two fics inspired my own outsider pov fic... thats how influential they are. other people should NOT be forced to interact with beth and rio and yet... its so incredibly funny when they do. i would sell my soul for some more outsider pov fic i s2g. 

Choose Your Own Adventure by sdktrs12

if you’ve followed me for longer than 30 seconds then you know im a cyoa stan. the concept of beth and rio having to spend time with normal parents makes me insane. and they’re just so horny for each other, but in the woods and thats just so special to me.

listening through the air shaft by mego42

another iconic outsider pov fic. truly the dean pov chapter is incredible. like it was so incredibly big brained of meg to make Dean witness brio coming out of the  bathroom break bathroom together. transcendent really. 

AITA for wanting to stop paying my wife’s “business partner” and yelling at her? by @lemoncupcake

spoiler alert: he is the asshole 

PTA Vibes by greyish 

again i’m OBSESSED with the idea of normal people interacting with brio and being subjected to their insanity. and brio being on the pta together is inherently hysterical. 

4. School AU

delinquents, stunner, and I'll Fall If You Do by foxmagpie

queen of high school aus it has to be said. the high school teacher just JUMPS out and im obsessed. 

delinquents... my beloved... where to even begin? a must read for sure. i love this fic so much it inspired my entire fanfic fanart series. 

stunner: blockt for this one; intentional infliction of emotional distress law suit still pending 

IFIYD: i love two dummies with a requited crush on each other playing spin the bottle   

Both Sides of the Law by @joeyjoeylee

if you’re ever been to law school then you’d know that joey captured it perfectly. its the perfect au setting for brio because only insane people go to law school. thats just facts. this fic made me cry (real actual tears from my eyes) several times. 😭😭😭😭😭😭

QuikGrove University by sdktrs12

a staple in the brio college au category. just two college students having sex and committing crimes like god intended. 

watermelon sugar and Seven Minutes in Heaven by @querenaxx

ws: rio spends this entire fic with his tongue 👅 inside beth and i love that journey for him

smih: the title really says it all. and what im saying is that it needs a sequal as asap as possible.

Jawbreaker by riosnecktattoo

tay does simp rio like no one else... its the longing for me... (also rio sexily plays basketball)

Pre Season by @wakeupflawless

if you follow my main blog then you know im obsessed with soccer so of course a brio soccer au is going to be my bread and butter. they literally want to fuck each other so bad, but also, they want to beat each other on the field and that just feels so right.

Sliding Into Third by @fairhairedkings

baseball rio... das it baby... that’s all i need to say i think

A Special Kind of Business by CaptainCabinets

beth x rio x high school x drug dealing = incredible 

5. Very Brio Specific Sex (i.e. pool table, hot tub, desk etc.)    

Invitation to a Beheading by riosnecktattoo

they literally have sex next to a dead body (🥴)

Say It by riosnecktattoo 

desk sex with a twist bc its at boland bubbles instead of boland motors (cucking is cucking babes)

trade my heart for honey and now use both hands by mego42

tmhfh: antagonistic pool playing leads to fucking on the pool table 

nusbh: desk sex but they make it other peoples problem lmao

Lining Up the Shot  and Part of the Equation by brokensatellites

luts: he bends her over the pool table just like in canon, but its actually sexy

pote: hot tub sex like literally fucking in the hot bubbly water 

Show Me How To Get Offended by FakePlastikTrees 

hot tub sex, sex in the hot tub - its what we deserved but never got

your tongue told me every lie by carrythesky 

desk sex on THE boland motors desk... 😌

Salty Sweet by foxmagpie

desk sex but beth is sucking him off under the desk while hes conducting business 

[lilyharvord]

Meet Me at Our Spot

  HELLO EVERYONE!! Vet school turned its back for a day and I was able to finish this one for you all. ((: Here is a lovely little one shot that is rated M people, so please read responsibly. Office AU because someone asked for it once upon a time and the image of Cal in one of those well tailored shirts/suits with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows has lived in my head rent free since then. So enjoy!!! ((: 

also, I’m obsessed with that song Meet Me at Our Spot by Willow and The Anxiety (specifically the live version). So that’s the vibe were going for. (:

find it on Ao3 too: link

Mare Barrow always felt underdressed when she entered the massive glass and steel structure that housed the Calore enterprises. Even when she put on her only pair on heels, and a nice outfit, she felt like a smudge of dirt on the pristine floors. Today though, she was determined to not feel that way. She had a plan, a vision, and she was not about to let some socially constructed idea like dress code ruin it for her.

           Striding up to the main desk before the elevators that lead to the corporate side of the building, she planted herself firmly before Tiria and cleared her throat to announce her presence.

           The young woman looked up from the book she was scribbling things in and held up a finger as she spoke into the receiver cradled in her other hand.

“Of course sir. Yes, two on Friday.”

With a sigh, Mare braced her forearms on the counter and glanced out at the massive atrium next to her. Multiple people strolled by in their nice suits and tight business dresses, carrying portfolios and briefcases and talking heatedly about a number of things. She got a few looks from them for her baggy sweatpants, oversized jacket, and faded ugly sneakers. She simply smirked back at them in response, a glint in her eye that dared them to talk about her after they had passed.

No one had ever really gotten a good look at her here, and if they had, it was when she was quickly being ushered past this front desk and into the elevators behind it. She was, for all intents and purposes, a very well-kept secret. One that was mandatory to remain a secret, given her position and her affiliation with this place.

Never in her wildest dreams had she thought she would ever set foot in a place like this, let alone be associated with the circle she now tenuously walked through. It had its perks though, like getting to give a bright shiny middle finger smile to the people Farley would have spit at. Mare couldn’t exactly spit like she wanted to though, because she happened to enjoy being around one of them. And she was supposed to be on her best behavior when she was in this building. It was part of the stupid rules she had been forced to agree to a year ago.

Rule number one: No one can know your name, where you are from, and who you are.

Rule Number two: best behavior at all times when you are in the building or near him. No exceptions.

Rule number three: You are not allowed to show up unannounced or uninvited.

           Well rule number three could just go fuck itself today, and rule number two could join it. The rules were just a way of making sure that the pristine reputation of this place didn’t get tarnished in the tabloids. She had laughed herself hoarse when they brought her into that dim conference room and dropped the pile of papers with the rules outlining everything in front of her. She never thought getting into a relationship would feel like a contract or a business deal but somehow this was made into one. Then again, the Calore family could make a business deal out of a child’s pretend game.

“Yes sir, I will let them know. Thank you for confirming, we will see you then.”

Tiria snapped the receiver back into the cradle and turning a scrutinizing eye to Mare she quirked a perfectly manicured brow. Every front desk girl in the world honestly looked the same to Mare, and in this place, there was no exceptions.

“Can I help you?”

“I have an appointment.” Mare said as she pressed onto her toes and pointed with a finger randomly into Tiria’s book.

The girl looked down at the line Mare pointed to with a frown while Mare swiped the key card Tiria always kept just under the ledge with her other hand. Tucking it into her pocket, she forced her eyes wide in a fake showing of bewilderment as Tiria gave her a contempt glare when there was nothing on the line.

“I could have sworn I called!” Mare gasped as she pressed herself up onto the counter to teeter further over it while her feet dangled. Damn these stupid things were high. She should have worn heels just so she could actually see over the top of the counter. “Maybe I should have called to confirm.”

“Miss Barrow, please stay on that side of the counter.” Tiria sighed as she leaned back in her chair.

Sliding down and dropping with a huff, Mare crossed her arms, trying to mimic the expression she saw most of these people give when they didn’t get what they wanted. “I want to go up.”

           Forcing her sigh through her nose so it wasn’t as obvious, Tiria shook her head and adjusted a pen that had moved out of its perfectly straight line. “You’re not supposed to be here today. Don’t make me call security.”

           “Well that would announce my presence.” Mare argued before picking up her backpack. “Besides, I’ll only be ten minutes.”

           “Miss Barrow, I like my job and want to keep it. Leave.”

           Letting out her own exaggerated sigh, Mare threw her hands up and spun on her heel to leave. “Honestly, you’d think I’d get a free pass giving who I’m dating in this place.”

           Peeking over her shoulder to see if Tiria was still paying attention, she smirked as the girl dropped her head to write something down. One of the benefits of everyone looking down on her here was that as soon as she turned around, she was out of sight and out of mind. It made sneaking around easier.

           Spinning back around, she scurried over to the elevators, ducking below the ledge of the counter slightly in case Tiria looked up again. Humming a song she heard on the radio to herself, she swiped the card and pushed the button to call the elevator. She had joked once this place was locked up tighter than a military institution, only to learn there was a reason for that. She doubted she could just swipe a key card and sneak into the Pentagon though.

           The doors opened with a little ding, and she glanced over her shoulder once before darting in and pressing the button for the top floor. She had to swipe the key card again and punch in a four digit code she memorized weeks ago, but the doors still slid shut and the massive glass box rose.

           Grinning like a fiend, Mare glanced over her shoulder at the green land stretching out behind her. She had to borrow Bree’s car to drive out to this place, and it almost didn’t make it. Her brother’s check engine light had been on since he bought the car, but he assured her it could make it the fifty mile trip and back. It had coughed the whole way, but it got her here. Beyond the trees she could just make out the highway she took with cars rushing along it.

           The first time she saw this place, she was afraid of it. Why was it so far away from everything, why was it so tucked away? What were they trying to hide behind the wall of trees? She hadn’t entire believed the excuses they gave, but she was at least certain they weren’t building nuclear weapons at this place.

           The doors slid open silently to a long hallway with dark floors and another bank of windows for a wall. Stepping out into the sunshine, Mare strolled forward, adjusting her hair and jacket as she went. Turning a corner, she passed a few smaller offices that belonged to some of the board members that held staff positions. The only one that was closed belonged to one of the only people she really, really didn’t want to see.

           Volo Samos made her nervous. If there was anyone who might be trying to make a nuclear weapon in this place, it was that man. She edged by his office, glancing through the swaying vertical shades to see if he was actually there or he had left for lunch. He was sitting at his desk on the phone.

Scurrying past him, Mare quickened her pace. If he was here, then the rest of the board might be too. Which meant she might be walking in on a meeting. Not exactly the best option, and neither was sitting outside in the hall and waiting.

           She had been so certain that there was nothing happening this week. She had planned everything around that fact. Maybe she should have called��� just to make sure before she drove all the way out here.

           Before she knew it though, she was standing before the heavy dark wood doors at the end of that hall. She had never been nervous to open them. They were intimidating with an exterior that was meant to deter people, but once you opened them and peeked inside there was nothing to fear, just like with the man behind them. She knew that, and yet, she had to squash the shake in her hand as she nudge the door open a fraction.

           The office was empty.

           Throwing the door open all the way, she stepped inside and glanced awkwardly around the space. She had spent enough time in here that she knew there were very few places to hide. Not that Cal would have any reason to hide in his own office. Pursing her lips she pushed the door closed and stormed over to the desk before throwing her bag down behind it and tossing herself into the chair. It spun in a slow circle with her momentum until she faced the back windows. Slouching down she tried to determine her next move with a pout. Maybe he had left for lunch. It wouldn’t surprise her. If the board members were here, then he might have had to play the good CEO and daddy’s boy he was supposed to be and taken them all to lunch to placate them. But Volo was here… so maybe they hadn’t gone to lunch?

           She had put makeup on for this surprise. Honestly, was it so hard for him to be in the place he was supposed to be at this time?

           Forcing out a sigh, she crossed her arms and spun the chair back around with her toes to look at the papers scattered around the desk. Cal was perhaps one of the most messily organized people she had ever met. He was an oxymoron himself though, so it only made sense. She picked up a thick stack of papers that were clipped together and lifted one of the corners between her finger and thumb like it was radioactive. She didn’t understand a word on the next page or the numbers scribbled in the margins. Putting it back in its place she glanced at the few pictures he kept on his desk.

           The first time she had been in his office he had been on a phone call, and she had to entertain herself. She had picked up the pictures and made up the stories behind them while he watched her out of the corner of his eye. The picture of the two little boys crouched and playing in the mud on the edge of a lake was her favorite. She had been confused by it at first, until she saw the one next to it, with the same two boys almost a decade later in front of the Roman Coliseum.

Cal and his brother vaguely looked like brothers. They had similar features, but they wore them very differently. Where Cal was tall and broad, his younger brother was lean and sharp. Their eyes were strikingly different, but it was to be expected. She’d met Maven twice in the year she’d dated Cal. The first time was when he flew home for their father’s retirement party. He’d been quiet and reserved the whole evening until Cal dragged him out for a drink with her after to introduce them, properly as Cal had teased. When the brothers were alone and not around their father, they were different people. Maven especially. He seemed to soften, to melt a little bit. It had surprised her that someone could be so different just because the personnel around them changed. But Maven was a master of it.

The second time she’d seen him, Cal dragged her halfway across the world to Scotland to surprise Maven on his birthday. Cal’s brother lived as far from their father as possible, and honestly, Mare didn’t blame him. Unfortunately, Cal wasn’t afforded that luxury. Hence the rule book she had to follow.

           He had a picture with his uncle next to that. The man was a few years younger than her father, but he caried those years poorly. Still, he adored Mare,  and she didn’t have to pretend to tolerate him, unlike most of the other people that surrounded Cal at a given time.

A picture with his father was next to that one. It was a close second favorite of Mare’s. She couldn’t stand his father, the man was insufferable, but she loved to look at the younger version of Cal. He looked impossibly different as a kid, so different she almost hadn’t recognized him in the picture. She had told him that he reminded her of a taffy piece that was pulled too long in that picture. He was only ten in it, but his legs were already too long for him, and he was thin as a pole. He certainly had grown into his body, but the smile he gave to the camera there… he only gave it to her now. Or at least, she thought he did. She’d never seen him smile that brightly at anyone else.

           Next to that, tucked almost behind the other pictures was a photograph of a young woman in a window box with a toddler resting on her legs. She smiled at him, clutching his hands in hers, completely unaware of the camera trained on her. Cal didn’t talk about it, or the woman in it, but Mare wormed it out of Julian that Cal’s mother was a sore subject with everyone. Even though she was smiling in the picture, Mare could almost sense the sadness that radiated from her. She didn’t look much older than Mare in that picture. No doubt she had been tied up with the same strings and restrictions Mare faced now. If that were the case, Mare wasn’t surprised she had been so sad. The rules and regulations that came with dating a powerful person were like a cage. It worried Mare some days. She didn’t like being confined, but when she was with Cal away from all of this, she didn’t feel that way. It was only when they were together around other people that she did. More oxymorons where the man was concerned.

           The door into the office opened and Mare snapped to attention as Cal stepped in. His hands were full with papers he shuffled through while balancing his phone on his shoulder and speaking with someone. He’d nudged the door open with his hip and because of that, he had yet to turn and face her.

           Even though she hated all the restrictions she had to face while she dated him, she knew they didn’t truly bother her because he was hers. All of him carefully folded into a suit that hugged every muscle made her stomach tighten and other parts flutter. And all of it was hers, some nobody from a backwater city block. She sometimes felt like a tiny dragon hording a single coin when she was with him. She didn’t have much to her name, never had and probably never would, but he was hers. She wasn’t sure if she would get to keep him, but she planned to enjoy every last second that she could with him.

           Her lips curled into a smile as she leaned back in the chair and crossed her leg over the other, trying to paint a picture of coyness. It was probably not the best showing of it, but Cal was a miserable good boy who couldn’t handle anything remotely teasing.

           The papers ended up on the other side of the desk from her, while he shifted to hold the phone and rest his other fist on the table. The muscle in his jaw that always twitched when he was irritated fluttered like a bird’s wing now. He pressed his fingers into his closed eyes as if he could force whatever headache was probably there away with just that touch.

           “We didn’t agree to that when we signed the papers. They can’t come back and impose that restriction on us now.”            She squirmed in the chair at the tone in his voice. There were multiple sides to Cal that she had seen. There was her Cal, who had no idea how to dance, and who blushed whenever she teased him. Then there was the Cal she sometimes got at one in the morning who would grab the inside of her leg while he whispered in her ear exactly what he was going to do. Then there was this Cal. The one who had been heir to an empire company since the day he was born, and who could command a room like it was any other Tuesday. Sometimes it was hot to watch him do it. Right now though, it was the opposite. He wasn’t happy with something, and it honestly sounded like the last thing he needed was her here.

           She decided she definitely should have called before coming.

           Edging the chair back with her toes, it squeaked as it went over the floor, and his eyes darted up to her before widening.

           With an awkward smile, she wiggled her fingers in greeting before spinning the chair to face the back windows. Her cheeks were burning, and there were other parts that had melted to a very dangerous temperature. The look he gave her as he looked up at been fleeting, but it had been enough to put her on the teetering edge of deciding to grab him and pin him to the desk, or ask him to do just that with her.

           “Deal with this. Don’t call back until you have.”

           The silence following his words told her, that she was now the singular focus of his attention. His gaze was like a brand even through the leather of the chair. Crossing her arms and adjusting her posture accordingly, she went to spin the chair back around. He beat her to it though, spinning it to face him and tipping it back slightly so she had an easier time looking up at him.

           “I don’t believe I left anything at the apartment.”

           “You left me.” Mare pouted with a withering stare in his direction.

           “Very funny. Now how did you even get up here?”

           With a smirk, Mare fished the ID card out of her pocket and flashed it before him proudly. He snatched it from her hand with a startled gasp.

           “Mare… what the… what are you a thief now?”

           “Obviously.” She waved her hand to dismiss his comment before gesturing to the card. “You should really get lanyards to put those on by the way. I just kinda grabbed that off her desk. And if I got it anyone else could have—”  

           “You can’t go around stealing people’s ID cards. She needs this to get around the building.” He gestured at her with it, his eyes narrowing dangerously.

           “Well I needed it more in the moment.” Mare reasoned with a smile before leaning back in the chair. She didn’t really feel that bad, but the worry starting to etch itself into Cal’s brows did make her feel a little guilty.

           He tossed it unceremoniously onto the desk before sitting on the edge of it and massaging his face slowly with his hands.

“While I’m happy to see you, I don’t have time to deal with anything outside of work today.” His words were muffled by his palms but she could still hear every stressed syllable. Even when his work got stressful, which it undoubtably was at times, he still could push it aside whenever he saw her. Whatever he had been on the phone about had been serious, serious enough that he actually wasn’t all that happy to see her.

           “What happened?” Mare asked, scooting the chair close enough for her to set her hands on his thighs and squeeze gently. Now was not the time to be thinking about just how well that suit fit, but the thought still crossed her mind. Along with a few choice other thoughts.

           “Stupidity.”

           Cocking her head to the side, she waited for him to elaborate. It took him a moment, but he eventually dropped his hands and let his head fall back to look to the ceiling.

           “We signed papers on a deal a year ago. When that happens it’s done, the contract is sealed and stored away. In that contract, we agreed that should anything happen with a shipment, we were not liable. The group we shipped to doesn’t like that anymore, because a 30.5 million dollar shipment got lost.”

           Now it made sense to her. This wasn’t anger, or frustration. This was stress. Stress she could handle.

“How does one misplace 30.5 million dollars?” She teased before running hers hand up and down his legs.

“I don’t know. But there are five different parties all in a screaming match over it, including us. And if the other four don’t back down anytime soon, I’m going to have to find 30.5 million dollars somewhere.” His eyes darted down to her as she brushed her thumbs along the inside of his thighs. Glancing up through her lashes at him then, she tilted her head ever so slightly.

“And that is hard because?”

“Does it look like I have 30.5 million dollars lying around to just throw at someone?” He reasons, and the dips in his cadence brought a smirk to her lips. Now she had his attention. Pushing up to her feet she slid between his knees until she could drape her arms around his neck. Immediately, his hands found her hips and hugged her closer still.

“I’m sure there are one or two things you could sell in this building to cover that cost.” She ran her thumb along the back of his neck, before tracing the spot at the base of his jaw. His head tilted in the opposite direction, trying to escape the feather light touch. Both of them knew exactly what it did after all. Smirking at his reaction, Mare ran her other hand along his shoulder, tracing the contours she knew by heart.

“I bet I could pick out one of two things.”

“I don’t need to find the thirty and a half because it’s not our fault what happened.” He squeezed her hips, and even though she could see the fight in his eyes, it was quickly guttering. The tension in his shoulders was still more than she would have liked, but that tended to be where he kept most of it.

“So stressed out over something that isn’t even your fault.” She teased as she pressed her thumb into the knot closest to his neck. He tensed under her, but didn’t speak. At this point, his voice had already dropped an octave, and Mare had known him long enough now to know that when he went silent like this, he was trying to hide just how far she had pushed him. “Do you want help releasing some of that?”

“Not unless you can get up in front of five different boards and convince them otherwise.” She had to admire how even he kept his voice. It still wavered in a few places as he tried to remain composed under her scrutiny. Dropping her hands from around his shoulders to land on his thighs again, she squeezed hard enough to emphasize her next point.

“That sounds like a challenge.” Mare actually witnessed his pupils dilate as she dropped her voice an octave too. “You and I both know it’s not much of one. I can be very persuasive.”

“You’re gonna get us both in more trouble than I can get us out of.” He whispered to her, a tiny smile lifting the edges of his lips. The glint in his eye made her stomach flutter, especially as he started to finger the waistband of her pants. She didn’t want him to put his hands under it just yet though, she still had one surprise she wanted to save.

Pulling back to slip out of his arms, she dropped back into the chair with a proud smirk. “Then I see no reason to not walk me down there, call up these assholes, and have me deal with them.”

His hands grasped the air where she had been a second ago as his mind failed to register her abrupt disappearance. Frowning, he leaned forward to grab the arms of the chair and pull her close again. Her heart pounded against her ribs as she watched him look her over and hold for a little too long on her lips.

“I’d love to see them try and deal with you.”

Oh she was going to make him sweat so very much.

Grabbing his face and yanking it down to hers, she crushed her lips against his. He tasted like mint toothpaste, and he smelled like that cologne she bought him for Christmas. Gisa said it was cheap, but he’s smiled and thanked her for it anyway. And now he was wearing it. The very idea sent a thrill through her.

With a groan, he slid his hands along her legs and then underneath them to grab her ass and hike her out of her chair until she was flush against his chest. Her lips curled into a smile as she took his lower lip between her teeth and pulled hard enough to draw a sound from the back of his throat. Knotting her fingers in his hair, she tugged and whispered, “You get to deal with me first.”

His eyes opened, barely an inch from hers, and the look in them sent a shiver down her spine. When he looked at her like that, it drove her half mad every time. “Put me down and I’ll show you just how persuasive I can be.”

He set her down with exaggerated stillness, making sure to drag her body along his so she could feel every inch of him. Smirking at getting her way, Mare nudged him back until he was sitting on his desk. Bracing her hands on either side of him, she asked, “Which do you want first? Surprise one, or surprise two?”

His brow quirked, and he slid a hand around her waist to pull her between his legs. “I want you, just you.”

When his voice dropped that deep, it made it very difficult to stay focused on what she had planned. But she wanted to see him squirm, and if there was anything Mare Barrow was, it was persistent.

“Surprise number two it is.” She grinned like a cat with a mouse as she hooked his belt with a finger and trailed it along the waistband of his pants to the buckle. Humming to herself, she undid it, sliding it through each loop like a needle with thread. When it was fully out, she held it up with a wink. “Give me your wrists.”

Even in the heat of it all, his cheeks burned. Immediately he put his hands behind his back. Pouting at his movement, she lowered the belt. “It’s no fun if you don’t play along.”

“Can’t be restrained. I may have to get to my phone.”

“Then I’ll answer it and tell them you’re busy.” She teased before cupping the back of his neck and pulling him close to ghost her lips across his. He sighed, and the tension in his shoulders melted as she ran her hand along one side. She loved when he scrambled in these moments. Locked between a rock and hard place, he was like turtle on its back. If all she had to do to knock him down was insinuate like this, she would do it every night.

When he pulled away with narrowed eyes, she released a mock exasperated sigh and tossed the belt away. “Fine, next time.” Without giving him a moment of relief, she unbuttoned his pants and tugged to start sliding them off. “But since it’s my job to help you relieve stress, here’s what I’m going to do.”

He visibly swallowed, even as he helped her slide his pants off. Running her hands up his legs after she dropped them, Mare chewed on her lip. “If you can keep it together for longer than ten minutes, I will let you do me from behind.”

His eyes widened, shock pouring out of every pore of his body. She hated that position, and always refused it. It was the most degrading thing, she insisted. If a man was going to fuck her, he should look her in the eye while he did it. She may be trash from the other side of the tracks, but she knew her worth.

           “Ten?” He breathed, his eyes darting to the clock on the wall next to them.

           “Ten.” She confirmed before crouching down. “But it has to be ten. If you cheat, I’ll know because I will be keeping track of the time.”

           His mouth opened to refute before closing with a snap.  She could see him working it over, trying to determine whether or not she would play fair. She never really did, but this time she made a promise to herself that she would. Besides, she trusted him to at least make the whole experience entertaining.

           “Clock starts when I do.” She teased before tugging on the waistband of his boxers, making the elastic snap back. He tensed at the feeling, until she pulled them off too.

           Perhaps it was the fact that she had snuck up here, or maybe it was the fact that anyone—including one of the most prestigious board members—could walk in on them at any second, but the sight of him sent electricity along every nerve in her body.

           It was ten minutes. He wouldn’t make it to five, she told herself as she dragged her tongue along her lower lip. With that thought for reassurance, she gripped his thighs and closed her mouth over his cock. Immediately she felt the muscles in his legs tense, and his breathing hitched. She hummed, almost laughing at his reaction as he immediately grabbed the hair on the back of her head and pulled. She slid back an inch before diving back down, taking more than she had before. The groan he released was loud enough that she almost paused to make sure no one had heard. There was the fun in this, she supposed, getting caught might be exciting.

           “Mare.” He gasped as she continued her ministrations, and began to trail her nails along his skin up to his hips. Forcing her head down further, he muttered a breathless apology when she gagged. Digging her nails and fingers into his skin, she smiled and hummed again.

           “Fuck.” He spit the word like poison and bucked against her, earning another hum from her. “Not fair, that’s not fair.” He panted as she picked up the pace of her work.

           His finger dug into her scalp as he pulled even harder on her hair. She stayed on like a leach though, stifling a laugh at his squirming. His other hand gripped the edge of the desk until his knuckles turned white, and his legs tensed in time with each of her movements. But the stubborn bastard kept it together, and no matter what she tried in her arsenal, he only cursed and gripped that desk until she thought it might splinter.

           “Ten,” he crowed with a breathless laugh. “That’s ten.”

           Mare snapped away with a grunt, swiping her hand along her mouth, smearing the lip gloss across her cheek. Glowering up at him, she grumbled a curse word that would have made her mother slap her across the mouth. A deal was a deal.

           “Don’t look so bitter about it.” He teased, before cupping her face and lowering himself to capture her lips. His tongue darted along hers as his fingers gently pushed the hair he had pulled behind her ears.

           When she pulled away for air, her chest ached and the space between her legs ached even more. “I’ve got one more surprise for you.” She rose to her full height, and had the pleasure of seeing a bead of sweat roll down from his hairline. He had barely made it. If she was being honest, she would say that she hadn’t been keeping track of the time. She’d lost all of it to the feeling of his hips rocking and the tension of his muscles.

           Backing away a step, she winked at his confusion. “Remember a few weeks ago when I went to mall and made you go find something to do?” She fingered the zipper of her jacket, another bolt of electricity ran down her spine as he straightened up, completely attentive to her. “I was saving this for your birthday, but I got tired of waiting.”

As she went to unzip the jacket, he leaped, catching her hands almost knocking her over. Scrambling to stay on her feet, Mare let him take her whole weight as she gasped. “Fucking hell Cal—”

“Let me.” He smirked as he straightened her up and grabbed the zipper before she could. With a gentle tug, he unzipped it halfway, his eyes darkening again as he caught sight of the top half. She’d picked it carefully, the first time she’d ever done something like that honestly. Normally she grabbed things off the rack and hoped it matched. This though, she had taken her time selecting.

He had the jacket off in less than a heartbeat, and his fingers danced along the thin black lace of the corset. His eyes followed his hands as he searched the whole thing over, making her swallow in uncertainty. He trailed a knuckle along one of the many straps, his teeth obviously working at the inside of his cheek. Gently, he grabbed the waistband of her sweat pants and pulled them down as he dropped into a crouch before her. His eyes widened at the matching bottoms.

Immediately, his hands gripped the back of her legs as he glanced up at her. The weight of that stare could crush her if she didn’t realize that it was the most reverent of gazes. He looked at her like she had put the stars in the sky, and hung the moon too. It she was honest, she would admit that it might go to her head a little bit ans that the smile she gave him was mostly fed by that. She could bring this man to his knees by simply standing in a pair of lacy panties.

           “Where,” he voice cracked on the word, and his fingers dug into her hamstrings a little more before he dragged his lips up the inside of her bare thigh. “Where did you keep this?”

           Threading a hand through his hair, she exhaled in a sigh as his lips grazed the seam along the inside of her thigh. “You like it?”

           “I’ll like it better when it’s on the floor.” He murmured before sliding his hand up to grip her ass again. She almost yelped, and grabbing his shoulders she let out a breathless laugh as he pressed more kisses along the inside of her thigh.

           Standing up, he kept his hand on her as he lifted her off the ground. She wrapped her legs around his hips, and let him spin her around to the desk. With a quick sweep of his hand, he sent the papers all over it to the side before laying her down on it. With a tug, he dragged her back to the edge so she was still straddling him and braced his hands on either side of her head. She panted as she watched his lips curl into a hint of a smile.

           “Forget fucking you from behind.” He murmured, before lowering himself to trail his nose along her sternum. “I want to see every inch of you in this.”

           She grinned triumphantly as he slid a hand up her side to squeeze her breast, made far more generous with the help of the corset. It had been a good idea to listen to the pushy sales girl just because of that. “Good thing you don’t have to take it off.”

           His brow quirked in confusion, and sliding her hand down her body, she opened her legs a little wider to brush her fingers along herself. “Made sure it would be easy for you. Didn’t want you to feel intimidated by all the straps and buckles.”

           The snort he let out made her laugh, and she smiled as he stole the sound from her lips with a kiss. Rubbing his hips against hers, he lifted them off the table slightly until she was arched against him. Groaning when she felt how hard he was, she dug her nails into his arms, and said, “If I knew all it took to get you like this was wearing a pretty scrape of lace, I would buy sexier panties.”

           “I happen to like the panties you already own.” He teased before reaching between her legs for the bundle of nerves there. Rubbing in a tortuously slow circle, he grinned down at her as she craned her head back so her hair spilled across the desk. Grabbing onto the edge above she tried to grind against his palm, seeking further friction.

           Dropping his lips to her neck, he let his finger slide down to penetrate her. Groaning loud enough that she actually slapped her other hand over her mouth, Mare arched until her chest was smashed against his. He let out his own pleased sound at how wet he found her, and let her grind against his palm.

           “Can you last ten minutes?” He whispered in her ear before catching her earlobe with his teeth and pulling lightly. Mare twitched in response to the movement of his finger inside of her, whimpering when he pressed a kiss to the point where her pulse pounded in her neck. And although this was heavenly, she’d be damned if he won at this.

           Setting her jaw, she squeezed her legs together, earning a laugh from him as he withdrew his hand and brought his fingers to his lips. Sitting up quick enough to make herself dizzy, she grabbed his wrist to stop him from putting those fingers in his mouth. He froze as she closed her lips around his fingers and glanced up at him through her lashes. Releasing them with a pop, she watched his pupils dilate until they swallowed almost his entire iris.

           Smirking when a blush exploded across his cheeks and neck, she licked her lips and said, “You won’t even last that long.”

           Without speaking, he put a hand to her shoulder and slowly guided her back down to the desk as he stood over her. He pinned her hips down with his other hand as he tilted his head to the side ever so slightly and said, “I will take that as a challenge.”

           Mare’s heart fluttered in her chest at the tone of his voice, and how deep it had dropped. Keeping her breathing as level as possible, she closed her eyes as he traced a hand along her side and cupped her breast before leaving open mouthed kissed along the column of her throat.

“Cal,” she breathed his name in a gentle exhale as she threaded her fingers into his hair at the same time that he slipped his hand to her entrance again and pressed his palm against her.

           “Say my name like that again.” He whispered in her ear. “And I will do anything you want.”

           “Anything?” Her voice hitched as she ground against his palm, her eyes fluttering as she sought out the friction he denied her as he teasingly pulled away.

           His lips pulled up into a hint of a smile as he withdrew enough that she chased him with her lips. Their breath mixed as he rested his forehead against hers, and through her lightly fuzzy and crossed vision she could see the depths of his irises. Dark gold, and amber like honey. She could drown in them and be happy.

“Anything.” He answered her.

           Lowering herself back to the desk, she pulled him with her while her other hand threaded between them to grab his hip and pull him closer. Without breaking eye contact, he let her guide him to her entrance. With a sigh, she tipped her head back and locked her ankles behind his hips as he pulled her completely to the edge of the desk.

           “Cal.” She whispered as she grabbed the top of the desk again and squeezed her eyes shut.

           “That’s my girl.” He replied before putting a hand on her hip to keep her pinned to the desk and pulled out before pushing in deeper. Mare bucked against him, gasping as she clenched her thighs together around his hips, pulling him closer. Bracing his other hand next to her head, he dropped his chin as he moved in and out.            She only regretted doing this here for half a second, since she had to contain whatever sounds she made to minimal volumes. The last thing they needed was Volo Samos hearing something or coming to investigate what he was hearing. Although that might have been part of the thrill. If they were at her apartment, she could be as loud as she wanted, even with the window open. The traffic outside was loud enough to mask anything that happened in her shoebox apartment.

           “Harder.” She panted as she dragged her nails down the side of his nice shirt. She wanted to tear it off of him, to get to his skin underneath. He caught her hand before she could do just that, and pinning that hand above her head he obliged her. She half yelped, half gasped as she slid along the desk until her head almost dangled off the edge.

           Like a light switch flickering on and off, the light beyond her closed eyelids alternated with each meeting of their hips. She could feel the change in pace as he sensed her reaching her climax, and her lips curled into a pleased smile even as she arched slightly, hoping to escape him to last longer. He laughed softly at her attempt and pulled her toward him until she was dangling off the desk and had to grab on or risk falling to the floor. He caught her, but she still gasped as the change in angle pushed her completely over the edge so she shattered like glass. Every muscle in her legs contracted and her chest hitched on the rapid inhale she took. Curling around him as much as she could in her position, she stifled any other sound that wanted to come out.

           The best part? She knew she had lasted longer than ten minutes. The worst part? She wanted him again. And there was no way that was going to happen because as she sat there panting after he put her back on the desk and bent over to kiss her lightly, she heard the subtle ringing from a cell phone.

           “You’re getting a call.” She panted in his ear as she ran her fingers through his hair. It was damp now, and his chest pushed into hers with every inhale he took around his rapid heartbeat.

           “It can wait.” He murmured in reply before pressing a kiss against her jaw again.

           “I thought thirty and a half million dollars meant a lot right now.” She laughed as she traced a finger down the column of his spine from his neck to the middle of his back. He turned the full force of his gaze on her and she almost melted into a puddle in the heat of it.

           “You’re worth more than that. More than any deal, any job.” He kissed the tip of her nose. It kept her from turning away to hide the blush that exploded across her cheeks. He traced a thumb along it, and smiling at her he continued, “Who’s blushing now?”

           With an amused roll of her eyes, she traced a finger along his jaw in response to his light touches. This close to him, she realized he was beautiful, in the same way a marble statue in a museum was. She used to think he belonged in places like that, surrounded by priceless and irreplaceable objects that everyone paid to see.

           “I love you.” She tilted her head to the side, testing the phrase again. It was only the third or fourth time she had used it seriously with him. The weight of it settled over him, and he brought her fingers to his lips to press a kiss to them.

           “I love you.” He dropped the hand and pulled her into a sitting position so she could drop her legs from around his waist. Still connected with him, she trailed her fingers along his arms and drank her fill of him with her eyes. A part of her knew that someday she would lose him. Nothing in her life was ever truly hers and he luck had always been rotten, it was why she never bought a lottery ticket. And of course, his father did not like her. He wanted her gone because he saw her as an obstacle, or a hurdle his son would trip over. It took everything to not dig her fingers into Cal’s arm when they were around his father. Maybe if she did so, she could tattoo herself onto him and never lose him.

           “What are you thinking so deeply about?” He tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, and pressed another kiss to the tip of her nose.

           “Nothing important.” She lied effortlessly, the smile she conjured for him almost real. If he saw through it he didn’t comment. The phone rang again from its sad position on the floor where it had ended up, and this time they both looked at it. The screen was lit up and he grimaced at the number showing on it.

           “I think you have to take that one.” Mare whispered before pressing a kiss to his cheek and sliding away from him to hop off the desk. He managed to catch her, and bring her to his chest before she could escape. Closing her eyes, she let herself melt against him for a second, inhaling the smell of his cologne and the smell of her that was now on him.

           When he pulled away to grab the phone off the floor and his pants from their pile near it, she sank back into the chair and watched his back as he finally answered the call. Whatever he was saying was like a buzz against her ears. She could only see him right then: the man he was, and the one he could become. She hated what he was in a small part of herself. But he wasn’t… he wasn’t like the other people he had spent most of his life around. And neither was his brother. Maybe that’s what that life did to people like them. Pushed them so hard that they turned out the opposite of their parents.

           He glanced at her with a smile as he managed to step into his pants with one hand and pull them up. She conjured up another smile for him and stood to fix his hair. He leaned down far enough that she could do that while he went about stringing his belt back into his pants. She trailed her fingers along his chest and down to the buckle and wrestled his fingers from it to clasp it shut herself.

           By the time she had finished he was done with the call, and was sitting in silence watching her work. She glanced up at him through her lashes, but he cupped the back of her head so she tipped her head back completely to him. His thumb rubbed a soothing rhythm along the back of her skull as he whispered, “I have to go. They found a solution.”

           She nodded. “So I guess you don’t have to bring out the big guns and put me in front of them.” Her smile was easy even as she prepared to pull away from him again. He held her steady, staring into her eyes for a long moment.

Just after the silence had stretched too far, he whispered, “Thank you.”

           “For what?” She managed to disentangle herself from him, and turned to gather her clothes. If he was leaving she needed to disappear too. They couldn’t leave together though, or people might notice. And she did not need it getting back to his father that she had broken any of those stupid rules. Then she might as well consider this the last time she ever saw him. What a last time it would be though. It would live with her for the remainder of what she had heard his father call a measly insignificant little life.

           “Everything. You… you make me impossibly happy Mare.” He threaded an arm around her waist before pulling her back against his chest and laying a kiss on top of her head. She finally melted completely into his arms. Wrapping his forearms with hers to trap him for a moment longer she closed her eyes. Suddenly, she didn’t care about the rules she had agreed to. Rules were meant to be broken, and she had always excelled at doing just that. With him, she would break every rule and scatter the ashes of them to the wind.

[detective-gum-chew]

okay okay okay

i know this isnt an orginal idea by any means but roleswap!narumitsu is just so good

so youll have to indulge me because this lives in my head rent free and i want to write it down concretely somewhere (also this gets LONG so ill pop a cut in here)

alright so:

1. at least in my writing of it, this is also a no-dl6/gregory lives au. but as well at that, miles and phoenix didnt go to school together

2. this means that there was nobody to defend phoenix at the class trial (yes i know the money stolen was edgeworths but shhh lets pretend it was someone elses, kay?) this lead to phoenix becoming not only bitter, but somewhat obsessive over the idea of punishing people that do wrong

(if someone can find that quote where phoenix talks about how he could have become a prosecutor because of the trial i will give u a gentle kiss on the forehead) 

3. Edgeworth was raised by Gregory and ends up becoming a defense attorney

4. in this, Von Karma goes down and Franzy is adopted by Gregory, and she assists Miles in his cases. (she can still have a whip, as a treat.)

5. anyway with that set up, lets get into some cases

6. Larry gets accused of Cindys murder, Miles defends with Franzy

7. Lets say Mia was in the crowd of that trial and decided to contact miles, seeing as he appears to be another uncorrupt lawyer and asks him for his help in taking down Redd White

8. He agrees, and she sets a time for him to meet at her office so they can talk. Mia then calls her sister and updates her on how shes going to recruit another person (Redd White hears this)

9. Much like the original case, Mia gets murdered, but this time, Maya isnt here to be blamed. Instead, its Miles himself, as the name that White heard over the phone (so basically we’re speed running to the “defend yourself in court” part)

10. the prosecutor today is Phoenix Wright.

11. but before that lets go into some backstory actually. Phoenix had encountered Mia previously during the Terry Fawles case. He had respected her as a peer, if not for just her determination and deductive skills. (After all, he was young at the time and solely focused on punishing the wicked) After Diego’s poisoning, he had briefly reached out for condolences

12. but anyway, Phoenix had distantly respected Mia, and now that she was dead, he was going to be tough on whoever he thought murdered her.

13. Miles proves his innocence, although it takes some baiting to get Redd White out of his building and actually into court. 

14. Wright is... not pleased about this, but theres not much he can do. His displeasure for Mias murder has shifted, but theres a new displeasure for Miles, the man who could beat him in court. (”well well well, you managed to save your own skin. But you should hope you get as lucky as you did in your next case”)

15. Next case! We know Miles is a steel samurai fan, so even without Maya it takes very little convincing for him to take the case. (Fran is not as amused but trusts her brother... enough.. to follow his lead)

16. Case proceeds mostly as normal, with Phoenix requiring Dee to re-do her testimony (maybe something deep within him still itches to put the true bad guy away, even if its harder than the accused)

17. I dont think Phonix would deliver the unnecessary feelings line, although there definetely is that moment in the lobby where hes like “hm. maybe you arent a bad person, but that doesnt mean i have to like you.”

18. and now, now now now, we finally get to the part where i somehow managed to put the most thought into. (for context it is nearly 2 am when i am writing this)

19. sleep schedule aside, you couldnt have thought i would made this WITHOUT some good angst, so here we go. case four is similarly structured to the original, but with an extra side of Phoenix angst.

20. Miles wakes up to Franzy shaking him. She points to the television. the news is on, but the voices are drowned out by a distant ringing as he stares at the image on the screen.

Famed Prosecutor Phoenix Wright Arrested For Murder

21. it just doesnt make sense. So he gets out of bed and into the closest clothes he can find and out the door with his sister in tow. He sits in the cold detention room, thinking about the other side of the glass.

22. Phoenix Wright looks dull. He asks what they want. Miles says he wants an explanation. Wright sneers and asks why. For some reason, that pisses Miles off. He slams his badge to the glass and Wright looks surprised.

“Do you know what this is? It’s my attorneys badge.”

“the badge doesnt mean youre a good lawyer.”

“Well Mr Wright, its 2-0, so i dont think you have any right to say that.” Miles glares at him and Wright sits back in his seat. He watches Miles for a long time.

“If im going to defend you, you need to tell me what happened.“ Wrights eyebrows shoot up and Franziska squawks at his side

“What do you mean defend him!”

“What she said.”

Miles narrows his eyes at Wright as he ponders to himself the answer. Why is he doing it? the answer comes to him. 

“Because i dont believe you did it.”

For all his snark, Miles cant bring himself to believe that the man in front of him would kill someone. Theres something about him, either in his eyes or the way he carries himself that makes the idea itself preposterous. Wright looks at him for a long time after he says it.

“Very well.”

21. Miles doesnt seem him until court, but at least he testifies. The next person up, a red head by the name of Melissa Foster, gives a testimony that seems airtight.

22. that is, until he looks over at Phoenix, who is pale as he looks at the woman on the witness stand. Phoenix catches his eye, and very carefully, very slowly, mouths one name.

Dahlia Hawthorne

23. (I really wish i could continue with the more narrative parts of this but im honestly running out of steam and ill get to the point lol. Maybe ill finish it later.)

24. Terry Fawles dies on the stand. Diego Armando falls into a coma. Dahlia Hawthorne walks free. Even after what happened to Diego, Phoenix is convinced he can do better. He sets up a meeting with Dahlia.

25. Doug shows up, trying to persuade him away from it, saying he overheard Dahlia’s plan to kill Phoenix when she arrives. Phoenix is cocky, and the pair fight. Doug gets shoved into the powerline. Phoenix, thinking him dead, panics and runs.

26. Dahlia, having overheard, goes back and finishes him off, drops some poison into his mouth perhaps. With an accidental death with a cause so obvious, nobody bothers to run blood tests (until Miles)

27. Its years later, and Phoenix gets a note that tells him they know what really happened to Doug. Phoenix arrives to a meeting place to find a dead body. He picks up the vial of poison almost absently. 

28. After all, Dahlia had gotten rid of Diego and Mia was dead. Now all she had to do was get rid of Phoenix

29. It plays out similarly to case four, with Phoenix being absolved of the first murder, then confessing to the old one. Miles has gone through the work to save his life once, that he cant not do it again.

30. but happy endings (ish) for all, with Phoenix being freed, Dahlia imprisoned and Miles having a better understanding of both him and Phoenix.

31. maybe more happens but we’re at bullet point 31 so its time to stop for now lmao. uh but yeah! roleswap au..... brainrot really.

[ladyloveandjustice]

The Westing Game Chapter 21

The Fourth Bomb

In a wacky misunderstanding, Theo thinks Alice is the bomber and tries to blackmail her with the info so he can borrow her bike (Yes, really. Go big or go home is Theo’s motto) but of course Alice thinks he means he knows ANGELA is the bomber.

And in what might be the most touching moment in the book so far, Alice responds to this by setting off a bomb and writing a thing indicating that she is the bomber in order to throw all suspicion off Angela. She eve loses her trademark braid in the process.

It really is incredibly sweet. Alice is very caustic toward her sister, but this isn’t the first time she’s indicated she’s ride-or-die when it comes down to it (she got rid of the evidence for Angela and warned her not to say anything to the lawyer), and it’s also a very lovely response to Angela’s early sacrifice- where she took the bomb she made to her face rather than have it explode to her sisters. But while Angela’s sacrifice was spur-of-the-moment motivated by guilt and panic as well as love (not that it makes it less meaningful), Alice’s is one she planned out and considered. She had time to consider the consequences. She knew that Angela willingly put herself in this position. But she still chose to take the fall anyway, and set off a bomb after seeing what the same thing did to her sister’s face.

She already feels meaningless to her family in general, and maybe on the surface she feels her standing (with her mother in particular) can’t get any lower. “I’m already the troublemaker, I’m already the unwanted one, I have nothing to lose, but Angela would lose everything” was how she convinced herself. (in addition to being aware as a minor she wouldn’t be punished as harshly, smart girl that she is).

But it’s also clear that Alice DOES long for her mother’s love and approval, and I think she also had to contend with a deep fear that after this action, there’d be no going back for them, that she’d doomed herself to be the ‘bad one’ forever. Yet she still did it.

And the loss of her braid is of course, incredibly significant. Angela said earlier that the braid is her “crutch”- she bases a lot of her personality around it. It was her excuse to spend time with her mother and now her excuse to spend time with Flora, it’s the trademark thing people can pull on and she can then she gets excuse to kick them and get in fights and form connections, it’s how she gets attention and relationships for herself without exposing her own vulnerability. But she sacrificed what little that makes her stand out, what little social currency she has to protect the same sister who she envies for being in the spotlight- because that bond is more important than her jealousy and her need for attention. Just like her sister sacrificed one of the things that bring her adulation- her looks- to protect her. Love is more important than those petty things.

Alice is forced to talk to Judge Ford afterwards and, sharp as ever, Ford guesses that she’s protecting Angela.  This quote especially gets me:

The judge was astounded (…). Angela could not be the bomber, that sweet, pretty thing. Thing? Is that how she regarded the young woman, as a thing? And what had she ever said to her except “I hear you’re getting married, Angela” or “You’re so pretty, Angela”. Had anyone ever asked about her ideas, her hopes, her plans? If I had been treated like that, I’d have used dynamite, not fireworks; no, I would have just walked and kept on going. But Angela was different.

There’s a fascinating theme in this book about being marginalized, and the different ways these marginalized people both are pitted against each other and can overlook even each other while also finding connections and comradery with each other… I think I’ll have to wait until the end to fully get my thesis on the whole thing together, but I really find it interesting and appreciate it. Ford’s struggles as a black woman, Alice being overlooked for not performing femininity (thus envious of Angela despite knowing how shitty she has it), Angela being boxed because everyone wants to mold her as the perfect feminine ideal (thus feeling envious of Alice despite knowing how shitty she has it), Sun feeling out of place as a Chinese immigrant, Hoo knowing he’s looked down upon as a Chinese-American (yet still not considering the pain of his own wife), Chris struggling as a disabled kid, many people who are financially disadvantaged and/or feeling limited to the role of caretaker, Sydelle feeling overlooked in general and appropriating others’ struggles in her bizarre quest to get noticed- it’s all very interesting and pretty deftly handled, especially considering the time period the book was written in. 

And our antagonist is quintessential exploitative Rich White Man (obsessed with American Exceptionalism to boot), though it’s casually mentioned he’s the son of immigrants, an identity he seems to have actively shed, going so far as to change his name (if that’s why he changed it), so there’s even complexity there.

But the thing with Ford here is an interesting demonstration of that. Despite being smart and socially aware and having an even more fraught history of being dismissed and belittled, she didn’t give much thought to Angela and subconsciously went along with the same objectification everyone else does, putting her on a pedestal. (There’s a lot to be said about how Angela’s veneration and perceived “purity” by the others might interact with her whiteness, and how Ford realizing she bought into that narrative subconsciously might feel to her as a black woman, but I’m not really the person to discuss that. Anyway!)

The other important development here is that Alice also finally confesses that she saw Westing the night of his murder but mentions that the Westing she saw didn’t look dead, but asleep and like a wax dummy. This sets off alarm bells for both me and Ford.

So, I think its safe to say my earlier theory Sam Westing isn’t dead is probably true. What of the corpse that was present at the will-reading? I think people would have noticed it was a wax dummy, but a disguised corpse from his coroner friend still makes some sense. So where is Westing now? Considering Barney Northup doesn’t exist, could he be Barney?

But speaking of Westing, if we need further confirmation the man is the scum of the earth, he’s a union buster and he fired Sandy for trying to organize one in the paper plant.

We also learn Ford’s backstory with Westing at last: Her parents were household staff at Westing’s mansion and she grew up there as a result. She played chess with Westing frequently as a child, but not only would he brag and take pride in beating a goddamn pre-teen, he mocked her with racialized insults. She never won, but Westing ended up financing her education (that’s the ‘debt’ she owes him). She believes he did this to get a judge he could control, but has refused to play along, removing herself from any case involving him.

I can’t help but think Westing would have known Ford wouldn’t play ball, though. So he may have had another motive for sending her to school. It could be something even more sinister. Or… in his own twisted way, did he actually like her? He obviously realized she was incredibly intelligent during those matches, even if he sadistically enjoyed mocking her, enough to know she’d do well with an education. Did he play chess with her so much not just because he enjoyed tormenting her, but enjoyed her as a person as well? It obviously does not excuse what a racist sadistic shithead he is, and I’m not saying he’s secretly nice- just that it could be he was incapable of relating to anyone in a healthy way. I actually think sending Ford to school could have just been an extension of his desire to torment her AND the only way he knew that would guarantee he remained important in her life. He didn’t ever plan to cash in on her debt, but knew it would kill her just to BE in his debt, and got pleasure out of that alone. He probably just thought it was funny and it was also a way to guarantee he’d live in her head rent free- and because deep down he knew she was a cool kid, he also wanted that. He didn’t want her to forget him, maybe, which is sick! But much more interesting than simply “he wanted a judge he could manipulate”.

But it’s also worth noting this is Ford’s (perhaps) final chance to win against Westing in the ultimate chess match. And I can’t help but think he is well aware how smart she is, so he invited her here specifically because he knew she could be his undoing, the one who unravels everything. So- if we go with the ‘Westing is seeking atonement’ theory- did he invite her to give her that satisfaction of finally beating him, like he always knew deep down she could? Because he WANTS to be beaten, to be found out and knows she deserves to be the one after all the hell he put her through? Or in the ‘Westing is still a complete monster’ theory- is his intention to torment her one last time, to show her she can’t win against him? (if it is, I think he may well find he’s gravely mistaken there).

I don’t think Westing can truly achieve “redemption” with this “game”, nor am I one to easily believe the Ultimate Shitty Capitalist can change easily, but if one thing can shake someone’s worldview and make them reevaluate how they live their life, the death of their child WOULD be a big one. So “this will actually be Westing’s weird twisted attempt at atonement” is a possibility I just can’t stop thinking about. If it is, it’s kind of funny and incredible he can’t stop being manipulative and traumatizing even when he decides he wants to do something good.

On top of all that, Angela and Sydelle get more clues and finally figure out the ‘America the Beautiful’ connection. God, so much to chew on this chapter! I really fear for these last nine chapters. I might end up writing a novel longer than the actual novel analyzing and recapping them if I’m not careful. But that’s how you know it’s a compelling story, so hats off to Ellen Raskin!

[moonknight-ep5]

Hello there! You mentioned in a recent post that you headcanon/interpret Caleb as having DID, and that thought never occurred to me but it is? So good? And I would like to hear more about it, if you have more to say on the matter?

i'd love to! this is a long one haha.. (@anonym-potato)

disclaimer

please note that i am only theorizing, and that i am a system host myself, so don't cancel me. also: please don't tag this post as anything relating to the DID/OSDD community in your reblogs! thanks!

key

for future reference in this post, i thought i'd need a key of some kind.

red = personal experiences

orange = scientific evidence

green = assumptions based on canon lore

blue = historical context

pink = minis

headcanons/interpretations

i'm basing this off of the assumption that bren and caleb alone are a system, but there could always be more.

• bren is caleb's alter, despite being the born identity. in my system, host-switches (the act of the title of "host" being given to another alter through constant fronting or a retire of position) are fairly common, one happening every few years. it's completely possible that caleb, through constant fronting (or forced fronting), has adopted the title of "host" from bren, leaving bren nearly powerless to take it back for himself.

• he went to the sanitorium for having DID, not for being insane. throughout history, it has been said that people that were seen as less than neurotypical were sent to asylums and sanitoriums (there's a difference!!) to be "fixed" and to churches to be "exorcised." in d&d, you play as characters in medieval times, where this practice was most prevalent. to medical professionals at the time, seeing a switch of any caliber could yield "unstable" behavior, which could've lead to his hospitalization. maybe he was insane when he left, but he definitely wasn't when he went in.

the eleven years. the time spent in the sanitorium is entirely blocked off from his mind, and nearly impossible, even with caleb's eclectic memory, to recall. DID has few requirements, yes, but arguably one of the most important symptoms is dissociative amnesia. this amnesia occurs during high stress situations that can constitute as trauma or while one isn't fronting, both of which are caused by dissociation (directly or indirectly). for the purposes of these theories, i'd say it's a mixture of the two.

the "cure." while caleb was recalling his time at the hospital, he remembered that there was a woman that helped him get rid of the "cloudiness" from his mind. DID is a trauma based disorder caused by amnesia. "getting rid" of his trauma would cause amnesia. keeping his trauma would cause amnesia. it's a paradox with no happy ending. as a result, all the woman got rid of, in my opinion, was his vegetative state. this is why there are still times where you could conclude that caleb is still unstable. there's many of these moments in c2 so i'd rather not sift through them all.

• DID and its causes. intense, repeated traumatic experiences during childhood/early adolescence (around 7-11, with a few years error) causes DID. according to the timeline of his backstory, he was approached by the representatives of the soltryce academy at around 9 years old, which means he started working with ikithon at 10. this puts him just under the threshold of the most apparent developmental stage for this disorder.

• "caleb widogast" seems like such a fake name, not even with alias standards.

• caleb has been seen dissociating for hours at a time. if you're new to the program: after fights where he gets a hdywtdt on a humanoid while using pyromancy, caleb has to make a wisdom saving throw to avoid dissociation. this dissociation could last for hours, whether it be active dissociation (blankness while doing menial tasks) or full dissociation (unable to move, talk, or think). only something intense could snap him out of it, whether it be a slap of the face or a kiss on the head (that scene lives rent free in my head).

• some of caleb's attributes are changed from time to time. caleb likes a lot of things: bread, the scraggly hobo life, books, and numbers, to name a few, though there are times where some of these likes get shifted into obsessions, where caleb likes spellcasting, but bren loves the idea of staying up late and working on a spell with no sleep (and that counts as a point of exhaustion for both of them, not just one, because they share the body and therefore have to take care of it). it's not either of their faults, its just how they were conditioned during the time of their trauma.

• caleb has canonically talked to himself in the third person.

• constant polymorphs and shapeshifting alters. in my system, there is a veth fictive that can shapeshift between "veth" and "nott." she has admitted to using this ability to stay "front-stuck" (where an alter physically cannot switch out) because she can't switch when out of her "true form." now think of it like this: caleb and polymorph, especially in recent history. there's a tag going around, reading "*polymorphs into a creature to stupid to be depressed*" in reference to caleb's now constant use of the spell. it could just be us, but its still something to think about.

• there has been a "switch" in canon. i mentioned in the original post that there was a scene in canon where caleb has been seen switching, as a result of a confrontation from trent ikithon and the cerberus assembly. (don't mind the watermark im not rich)

this is a switch as a result of an auditory trigger. the hearing of one's name, a song, or even a random word adversely connected to trauma can be considered an auditory trigger. hearing bren's name, especially from trent, caused caleb to get immediately defensive and angry. when the camera pans back to caleb after everyone's reactions, you see him hyperventilating slightly with a face of worry, shut his eyes tight, and open them with a slack face to get a sense of his surroundings. he also leans near beau, someone who he could ask for context or reason, but then thinks against it as he remembers: they don't know.

[anakinthetrashking]

yo! you just read the queen's thief series? :0 i am a long-time fan and would LOVE to hear any of your feelings about it (also, have you seen the discord server bc its pretty active and fans always love more fans if discord servers are your thing :)

So, you'll have to forgive how LATE this reply is, it's been a mixture of busy-school-semester-quarantine-social-burnout and tumblr deleting my replies when I tried to save them to continue writing later!! But it's now 3am and my brain won't stop thinking about Queen's Thief, so it's the best time to reply, really! (But I really do appreciate you sending in this ask to let me rant about TQT!!!!! AHFKSISJ replying is just hard sometimes lol)

So because I'm terribly long winded and because spoilers!!! For a few people who follow me who haven't read it/or haven't finished reading it, the rest is under the readmore!

Where to begin. So my blog says I just read it but I realized that's a little bit of a lie now? I read the first five books for the first time at the end of Dec 2019, and the beginning of January 2020! I had seen the name of the series around before, around Tumblr bc of a few people I'm following, in regards to a Batfam fic by lurkinglurkerwholurks, ( this one: Breathing )who is ALSO a longtime TQT fan! I reread her Batfam fic after reading the Queen's Thief series and it hit SOOOOOOOOO much harder. Really brilliant. But that last straw was getting an email saying that one of my other all time fav fic writers was writing a fic for TQT. I saw that email and basically immediately downloaded The Thief on my library app 😂 (i needed to be able to read the fic!!! And I'm soooooo glad I: a) read the series before reading the fic, therefore not spoiling anything and b) was able to read the fic because holy cow does it live rent free in my brain. It's Ere by audreycritter btw)

Anyhow, I absolutely DEVOURED the books. I read one after another and then ended up rereading the first three again more slowly over the course of that spring semester. I started drawing again, listened to a good amount the Attolian Archives podcast, reblogged and MADE!! ART!! and m e m es, died when MWT REBLOGGED ONE OF MY MEMES AND SAID IT MADE HER LAUGH, recommended the series to a bunch of people and got several to at least *start* reading the series! I haven't gotten seratonin from books like this since early high school ten years ago! 🤣

Plus the fandom is SO SWEET!!!! And MWT is so engaging!!!! I love that she lets us play in her sandbox! It's like she made a fully furnished dollhouse complete with dolls but she lets us continue to decorate it and build on it and move the dolls around, and then she comes up and gives us compliments on the little things we've done!!! 🥺😭💞

Oh but the books themselves!!! They dig their spots in my heart deeper everytime I read them!!! I don't think Ive ever read a series that I enjoy more every time I reread it. I'm looking forward to rereading this last book, bc I know that the only one that I was obsessed with the first read through was QoA. All the others I liked the first time I read it, but I wasn't in LOVE with them, you know? But when I went back to read them a second time I LOVED THEM. Its like a riptide that you kick around in the shallows the first time around, and then the next time suddenly you're sucked out to sea???

It feels like the pages hold secrets that need to be teased out. The dialogue is SO FUN. It has suspense but not so much that you're stressed. It's so balanced. It has lines that make you put the book down and have to just, do a lap.around the block because they really said that. THEY REALLY SAID THAT. "Diplomacy, in my own name." SHE REALLY SAID THAT. The symbolism, the foreshadowing, I'm OBSESSED! THE CHARACTERS!!!! THE LOYALTY!!!!! What i wouldn't do to have that sort of loyalty written into some of the other fandoms that I'm in. And the TEnderNESS. The way Gen interacts with others??? The way he loves so.wholly? With his entire self??? The way that it's sorta slowburn found family before tumbling into found family all at once in a way that isn't slowburn at all?? I'm pulled in by Gens tricks every time. The storytwists surprised me but made sense. The writing was enjoyable to get lost in. I think of the way that Gen sits at Irene's feet and looks up at her with eyes full of love, how he sits like a printers apprentice in a chair but sits like a king while sick/hurt in his bed, I think about the way he pushed Relius's hair back and kissed him on the forehead, how Relius said he would still crawl back to his Queen and Gen said me too, the difference between my Queen and my King and your Majesty 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 the way Helen says that Sophos basically has Gens heart in his hands, the way that all four of them are entwined together. I think about these books and I'm filled with YEARNING

Uh, No thoughts, head empty except for squeeing about TQT. This isn't even like,,,,,, idk a quarter of it??? There's so much more but it's all so hard to put into words, a lot of it is just me yelling incoherently because I'm overwhelmed! And when I string words together it's, well. All over the place! 😂

As for the discord thing, I've seen the link around! I'm uh, Not Great(tm) at being social, and so the discord is a leeeeetle daunting, haha. But I have considered it, especially because I have an... Interesting fic idea that I wanted to drop into the pool of other TQT fans to see their reactions. It's... a little bit evil...

Thanks again for the ask!

[ryqoshay]

Putting on Hairs: Monster Manual

Summary: Short descriptions of the monster types of each girl and the role they play in the theater or in association with it. Warning: This Manual may contain ***SPOILERS*** for characters not yet mentioned or explored or for scenes that have not yet been written, though I will try to keep things limited to what has been revealed.

This chapter also may end up being edited. A lot. This whole thing is a work in progress, so unrevealed or unexplored characters may have their monster types or roles, or both, changed if a better idea presents itself.

----------

Name: Yazawa Nico Race: Weredog Werewolf Role: Star of Putting on Hairs Background: Inspired to be an actress by her father, who wanted her to share her smile with the world. She has been acting pretty much as long as she has been able to talk. She had many lead roles back in high school and college, but was unable to land one upon becoming a professional, despite her popularity with both critics and general audiences. She earned enough to hire an old high school friend, Nozomi, to be her agent. It was Nozomi that found a newly opened theater willing to give Nico her first shot at stardom on the professional stage.

Name: Nishikino Maki Race: Salamander Role: Costar of Putting on Hairs Background: Maki was born into a family of famous and wealthy movie stars. However, she grew up falling in love with live theater, instead of the silver screen. Still, she obeyed her parents' wishes and became a child star in a television series and appeared in many commercials afterward. After college, she manged to persuade her parents to let her try performing in live theater and they made the connections that landed her costar role alongside the rising star, Nico.

Name: SakurauchiRiko Race: Demon, formerly of Amdusias' legion Role: Pianist in the orchestra Background: Fearing facing an eternity of playing the cacophonous music of Hell, Riko fled to Earth in an attempt to find something else. She was quickly drawn to the piano and was able to earn a meager living playing in bars and other small venues. She applied many other places and was eventually accepted at a newly opened theater.

Name: Tsushima Yoshiko Yohane Race: Angel, Fallen Role: Assistant in the costume department Background: Cast out of heaven and cursed, Yoshiko has spent years trying to find her place in the mortal realm. Somehow, she found herself in Tokyo and stumbled into a kind woman, Kotori, who offered to teach her how to weave her own feathers into garments that could be sold at a premium. When Kotori accepted a position at a theater being opened by her childhood friend, Umi, Yoshiko decided to follow and continue her apprenticeship. Name: Toujou Nozomi Race: ??? Role: Nico's agent Background: Nico's closest friend since high school where they were in the same drama club. They moved in together in college and have lived together since. Nozomi majored in business and began her own talent agency with Nico as her first client.

Name: Minami Kotori Race: Crane Role: Head of costume department Background: Childhood friend of Umi and Honoka. Has always had an affinity toward clothing and design. When Umi started working with Dia to open a theater, Kotori jumped at the chance to make outfits for the cast. She is quite skilled at using her own feathers to imbue exceptional qualities in the clothing she creates and is happy to pass this knowledge to Yoshiko, her assistant. She is also capable of using other materials derived from other beings, e.g. Phobetor's fur or Riko's wings. Favors are her preferred currency, particularly those that will benefit the theater.

Name: Sonoda Umi Race: ??? Role: Co-founder and Co-owner of the Sonoda Kurosawa Theater Background: Childhood friend of Kotori and Honoka. Daughter of the renowned Sonoda family who already have a theater in Tokyo. However, as her elder brother stands to inherit the family theater, she has decided to open one of her own in a different district.

Name: Kousaka Honoka Race: ??? Role: Owner of Kousaka Catering Background: Childhood friend of Kotori and Umi. Took over the family catering business when her parents retired. Happily contracts with Umi's theater as often as possible.

Name: Hoshizora Rin Race: ??? (cat something) Role: Delivery girl at Kousaka Catering Background: Childhood friend, now girlfriend of Hanayo. Happily supports her girlfriend's theater obsession, even if she doesn't share it.

Name: Koizumi Hanayo Race: ??? Role: Cast member Background: Childhood friend, now girlfriend of Rin. Obsessed with theater from a young age, Hanayo has always dreamed of becoming an actress. However, she lacks courage. Rin's encouragement and support were the driving force behind her joining the theater club in high school and eventually earning a degree in acting. It was also Rin's connection with Umi through Honoka that led her to be brought on at the new theater.

Name: Ohara Mari Race: ??? Role: Heiress to the Ohara chain of hotels and patron of the theater Background: Childhood friend of Kanan and Dia. Lost track of her best friends when she moved to the United States to finish high school and then Italy for college. Returned to Japan but was only successful in reuniting with Kanan. Both moved to Tokyo when they heard Dia was opening a theater there. She owns a sizable penthouse apartment near the theater where she lives with Kanan. She leaves a room open for Dia, should she ever wish to accept the offer.

Name: Matsuura Kanan Race: Kraken Role: Owner of a dive shop and driver for Mari Background: Childhood friend of Mari and Dia. Lost track of Mari when she moved to the United States to finish high school and Dia when she moved to Tokyo for college. Reunited with Mari upon her return to Japan and agreed to move to Tokyo with her when they heard Dia was opening a theater there. She lives with Mari in a sizable penthouse apartment. As Mari refuses to charge her rent, she contributes to the household in other ways, like driving for Mari.

Name: Kurosawa Dia Race: ??? Role: Co-founder and Co-owner of the Sonoda Kurosawa Theater Background: Childhood friend of Mari and Kanan. Lost track of Mari when she moved to the United States to finish high school. Then she moved to Tokyo for college and lost track of Kanan. She is not entirely sure how Mari and Kanan learned she was opening a theater, but she is grateful for the generous donations made by Mari. She is also grateful Mari has not attempted to use the donations as leverage in her repeated efforts to get Dia to move in with her and Kanan. As for the theater, she has not openly discussed her reasons for moving to Tokyo instead of staying in Numazu where her family was already established in the industry. Upon opening, she extended an offer of employment to her younger sister, Ruby.

Name: Kurosawa Ruby Race: ??? Role: General staff at the theater Background: Younger sister of Dia. Grew up obsessed with acting, though has never had the courage to try becoming an actress herself. She moved to Tokyo when Dia offered her employment at the theater she was opening. Her best friend, Hanamaru, has suggested trying for a few minor roles, but time will tell if she does so.

Name:Kunikida Hanamaru Race: ??? Role: Theater crew Background: Best friend of Ruby who she met in middle school. Raised in a temple with few modern amenities, she has limited experience with technology. However, the temple did host many events over the years, most of which included some sort of theatrical performace. As such, Hanamaru decided to join Ruby in moving to Tokyo and applied for a position in the crew for Dia's theater.

Name: Emma Verde Race: ??? Role: ??? Background: Born and raised in Switzerland, she moved to Japan to learn more about the country's culture by way of its theater production. At least that is what she would say if asked in a public interview. In private, among those she trusts, she would admit she wanted to learn more about the differences of public perception and acceptance of monsters in Japan compared to the rest of the world.

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Notes: So, that's what I have at the moment. I'll keep adding details as they come to me.

As mentioned above, I will attempt to keep this chapter spoiler-free. However, as spoilers personally do not bother me, if the interest is there with my readers, I will put everything I have here, not just the details revealed in the story, up to wherever I have managed to write. This probably will result in more edit notifications, as I will undoubtedly change things, right up to the point of it being used in the story. And I'm not opposed to possible retcons if better ideas come later.

Also, many of the ??? entries are due to me not having assigned that monster type or role to that girl, though some I have assigned, but have not yet revealed. I am still working on filling my spreadsheet and bouncing ideas off several fellow authors.

However, I am more than happy to accept suggestions from my readers as well. Feel free to comment over on AO3 or send a suggestion anonymously here, or message me directly here, on twitter or Discord. If I like the idea or your reasoning, I may end up using it, and as always I will do my best to credit the sources of my inspiration.

Also, the idea doesn't necessarily need to be a perfect fit. Koto's is probably the best fit out of all of them; I really don't think I will end up doing better. WoofNic is shamelessly stolen from daily-nicotine. Krakanan was too funny not to use, though I knew she had to be some sort of sea critter. Maki started as an Ifrit and was changed to salamander because I love the idea of her being smaller than Nico. Riko is a demon to be an opposite to Yohane's angel, but I'm also amused by the contrast between Riko's canon traits and those stereotypically assigned to demons.